WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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This is me and I hate my life.
It wasn't always this way. I

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used to live in a big house, in
a big city that so easily

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swallowed you up it left you
naked with your own petty

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significance. It was perfect.

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I wasn't even a blip on the
radar. Then my dad had to go

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fuck it up literally.

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Sing for me my angel of music.

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That's my dad.

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George!

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Oh, hey mom!

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I can explain.

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I don't know how dad tried
to explain nailing the maid up the

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pooper, but oddly enough,
It didn't work.

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So I got landed here.
Shitsville, U.S.A.

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Fuck,
I hope they have pesticide for lunch.

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How was Hendrix?

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Twatkins High?

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Hurry up,
you don't want to be late.

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Late? Considering we just drove
fifteen hundred miles so I can

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get a diploma that read Twatkins
High, late really isn't the

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issue right now.

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This toolbag is Jordan Davies.

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Quarterback and head
douchebaggery of Twatkins High.

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Who the fuck are you?

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Kelvin, Kelvin Anis.

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Dude, did you just
say your name was anus?

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What a douche.

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Now, when your last name is Anis
you kind of expect the name

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calling.
It's best to just let it go.

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Actually, I said Anis. But its
cool man it happens all the

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time. Let it go.

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You know,
not all the time, you know.

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Just let it go.

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The last kid who did it, he was
kind of slow. I'm not saying

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you're slow, it's just, he liked
to eat his own...

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Stupid.

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Need a hand?

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No. What makes
you think I need help?

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You're wearing a guitar, I...

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What? Holy shit, look at that.
Man, it's a good thing you were

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here. Otherwise, how would I
have ever known that I was

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stuck in a guitar.

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Fine, whatever.

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Wait. Wait, wait.

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Now you want my help.

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Yes, alright, I want your help.
Fuck, you know, why don't you

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just rub your balls in my face.
Come on, come on, just lift up.

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What happened? Dude, hold still.

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It's fucking sharp,
man. It hurts.

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Alright, what do
you want me to do?

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Slow. Slow.

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Can you shut up for a second?
Let me just...

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Okay. Okay. Okay.

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00:05:06.939 --> 00:05:08.574
Alright. It's just
really on there.

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Ooh, watch the nipple,
watch the nipple. Ow!

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Here you go.

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Good morning.

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Well, hello there
young man and how are you today?

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Fine, thanks. Um, I just
transferred here. I was told to

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stop by and pick up my schedule.

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Well, aren't you just a silly
goose. I know who you are.

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You're Jessica's son. Got your
class schedule right around here

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somewhere. Kelvin, right?

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Uh, yeah that's right.

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Oh, don't look so surprised.
It's not like I'm one of those

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psychics or anything.

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Why don't you
take this and have a seat

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over there.
It'll just take a few minutes.

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Somebody kill me.

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Okay, folks there it is.
Six weeks.

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What does it all mean?
It means it's going to be

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party time. It's going to be
midterms. So you're going to

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have to knuckle down between
now and then. We got a lot of

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material to cover, right? So if
you hear the word penis, vagina,

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you know, don't start giggling.
This is grade twelve biology,

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okay? Are we
all in agreement here?

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It's party time right
from the start.

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Mr. Flaherty, how
nice of you to join us.

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Any time, sir.

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Mr. Flaherty, need I remind
you that your grievous test scores

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from last year are some of the
worst I've seen in my twenty-two

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years of teaching. So, maybe if
you made it on time and maybe

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paid attention, you just might
be able to scrape together a

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decent score without a negative
sign in front of it in the end.

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I'm sorry, but maybe you didn't
notice me carrying this around.

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Do you think it's possible that
there might be a reason that I

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was fucking late?

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Congratulations, Mr. Flaherty,
you've earned a trip to the

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principal's office on your very
first day. I'm sure your parents

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will be very pleased.

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What the hell sir? You're
pissing on me for being, like

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five seconds late, when those
knob jobs took my guitar's

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virginity using my fucking head!

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Alright, that's it, Flaherty!
You're out of here!

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00:07:42.894 --> 00:07:46.531
Okay, sir. Look, calm down,
okay. How about I say I'm sorry

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for being late and
you let go of my sack for a bit?

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Out!

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Sir?

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Get out of here!

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Slut. Asshole. Hoe. Shithead.

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So gross.

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This coming from the V.D.
piñata. Hey, did you ever get

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your tampons the condoms they
asked for? Bitch.

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Have a nice day.

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That's what you get. Yeah, yeah.
Take it. Yeah.

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Take it. Take it.

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Um, Fritz,
what are you doing, man?

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Hey, Carla. I, uh, that's not
what it looked like.

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Right.

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You thought that I was?

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No, no. I mean, you see this?

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This is a no felashe zone.

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So, as long as you're the
felatee it's okay, then?

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Yeah. Guess I just
have to find me a felateur.

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I'm in.

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Wait, wait. I, uh, I haven't
heard you singing on.

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Main Street lately.

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You've seen me sing?

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Yeah. I mean, uh,
I've passed by. You know?

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Yeah, well unfortunately you
won't see me there any time soon

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because my brother is off to
school. I don't have any music

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to sing to.

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How about a stereo?

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Well, I mean, it's not quite the
same as live, but I guess if I

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get desperate? I guess I will.

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Cool.

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Fritz, I'm going to go to the
bathroom now.

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Right, yeah. Go ahead.

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Okay.

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Word to your mother.

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Vanilla Ice.

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Carla Cummings
finally talks to you and you

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quote Vanilla fucking Ice?

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God, I'm like the
poster child for spermicide.

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Hey.

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Hey.

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How's the guitar?

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Don't know. Probably
filing a harassment suit.

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00:10:00.865 --> 00:10:04.836
Wasn't even my type. Hold this.

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What the hell is this?

143
00:10:05.870 --> 00:10:06.838
What?

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00:10:06.871 --> 00:10:08.240
McDonald's or Wendy's?

145
00:10:08.273 --> 00:10:10.242
Oh, it's for rating girl's
ninja slippers.

146
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I like to know how I'm dining.

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What?

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Look, you know how a Mac Do's
hamburger has that perfect bun

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seal and then a Wendy's Burg
always has that little extra

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flap of meat hanging out?

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Flaherty, get in here!

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00:10:23.288 --> 00:10:27.225
Ah, crap. Later.

153
00:10:30.729 --> 00:10:32.965
Later.

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00:10:35.833 --> 00:10:39.270
This is bullshit, John!

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I'm telling you guys,

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it's possible that there
is a slight chance that

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Carla Cummings may not
be completely disgusted

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by the idea of having me in,

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or at least in close
proximity to her mouth.

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00:10:54.485 --> 00:10:55.996
Dude, you've been
trying to talk to this girl

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since junior year.

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Have you even tried
to make a move?

163
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Look, you weren't
there, alright.

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First of all, her name
is Carla Cummings, okay.

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00:11:02.461 --> 00:11:06.298
Cummings. That's like
pornstar styley.

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Good point, my friend.
Good point.

167
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I know.

168
00:11:09.333 --> 00:11:10.468
Hey dude, look.

169
00:11:10.501 --> 00:11:12.837
Attention T.
Watkins High students.

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We have a new student today.

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00:11:14.405 --> 00:11:16.474
Please, make sure you
welcome Kelvin Anis

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00:11:16.508 --> 00:11:19.043
to the school.
Have a great afternoon.

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00:11:27.985 --> 00:11:31.423
How's your first day
going, Anus?

174
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Oh, wow. Wow.

175
00:11:36.027 --> 00:11:38.197
Uh, hey, dude, you got
a mint or something?

176
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Gum?

177
00:11:39.230 --> 00:11:40.064
What?

178
00:11:40.099 --> 00:11:41.341
I just didn't know
they were serving

179
00:11:41.365 --> 00:11:42.365
garbage, dude. How was it?

180
00:11:45.035 --> 00:11:46.771
Listen, you little fuck.

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Some people may think
that you being

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from Hollywood makes
you hot shit,

183
00:11:50.241 --> 00:11:52.211
but that don't make it so.

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00:11:52.244 --> 00:11:55.880
You were a loser there.
And you're a loser here.

185
00:11:58.984 --> 00:12:01.220
Dude, at least I'm consistent.

186
00:12:01.253 --> 00:12:03.889
Hey! Move it along, Davies.

187
00:12:03.922 --> 00:12:06.125
Let go of me, Mr. Clean.
Shouldn't you be washing

188
00:12:06.158 --> 00:12:08.360
my shit out of the toilets
or something?

189
00:12:08.393 --> 00:12:11.062
I said, move it along, Davies.

190
00:12:11.395 --> 00:12:14.365
See you around, Anus.

191
00:12:17.001 --> 00:12:18.836
Jordan Davies' bad side.

192
00:12:18.870 --> 00:12:20.839
It's not a good place
to be, kid.

193
00:12:20.871 --> 00:12:23.241
You better watch your back.

194
00:12:23.274 --> 00:12:26.745
It's cool, everything's been
coming from the front.

195
00:12:31.582 --> 00:12:34.120
You're crazy.

196
00:13:26.471 --> 00:13:27.905
What's up?

197
00:13:27.938 --> 00:13:30.107
Don't do it.

198
00:13:30.140 --> 00:13:31.108
Do what?

199
00:13:31.142 --> 00:13:33.111
Be a hero. It's not worth it.

200
00:13:33.144 --> 00:13:34.178
Who is she?

201
00:13:34.211 --> 00:13:35.590
From the tent you're pitching,
I'm guessing you're

202
00:13:35.614 --> 00:13:37.316
talking about Valerie Ward.

203
00:13:37.349 --> 00:13:39.318
- Tent I'm pitching?
- Yeah, I see it.

204
00:13:39.350 --> 00:13:41.452
Forget it. If we even
had a league,

205
00:13:41.485 --> 00:13:42.629
there would still be
a better league

206
00:13:42.653 --> 00:13:44.121
we'd need to get into

207
00:13:44.154 --> 00:13:46.190
before she was simply
out of our league.

208
00:13:46.224 --> 00:13:48.134
Come on, you're telling me
that Davies is in her league?

209
00:13:48.158 --> 00:13:49.528
That recycled douchebag?

210
00:13:49.561 --> 00:13:51.530
Pfft. He wishes.

211
00:13:51.562 --> 00:13:53.298
That there my friend
is one hundred percent,

212
00:13:53.331 --> 00:13:55.433
prime cut, felashe mignon.

213
00:13:55.466 --> 00:13:57.635
He'd have a better chance
entering a convent.

214
00:13:57.668 --> 00:13:59.346
Hey I thought the
hero always got the girl?

215
00:13:59.370 --> 00:14:00.514
What are you fucking kidding me?

216
00:14:00.538 --> 00:14:04.076
Does Spiderman ever give
the pink slider to Mary Jane?

217
00:14:04.109 --> 00:14:06.345
Does Batman ever give
Cat Woman the one-eyed dolphin?

218
00:14:06.378 --> 00:14:08.247
You know a lot of
names for penis.

219
00:14:08.279 --> 00:14:10.348
- About ninety-three, yeah.
- Wow.

220
00:14:10.381 --> 00:14:12.350
Aids Grenade, Fallopian
Fiddler, Hymen Hammer,

221
00:14:12.384 --> 00:14:14.452
Beaver Cleaver, Vagina
Miner, Twelve inch.

222
00:14:14.485 --> 00:14:15.287
Train of Pain...

223
00:14:15.320 --> 00:14:19.091
Okay. Gosh.
Alright, I got to go.

224
00:14:19.124 --> 00:14:22.561
Good idea. Good idea.
Today is a good day to die.

225
00:14:22.594 --> 00:14:26.064
I know they don't like me.
They like you even less.

226
00:14:26.096 --> 00:14:27.031
Why?

227
00:14:27.065 --> 00:14:29.301
Cause you're the
new kid. You're a threat.

228
00:14:29.333 --> 00:14:31.068
It's a good thing
I don't have a guitar so.

229
00:14:31.101 --> 00:14:32.236
No? Got a granola bar?

230
00:14:32.269 --> 00:14:33.237
Granola bar?

231
00:14:33.270 --> 00:14:34.238
Believe me.

232
00:14:34.272 --> 00:14:36.575
When they want to they
can be real creative.

233
00:14:36.607 --> 00:14:38.943
Look, football practice
is in a few hours,

234
00:14:38.976 --> 00:14:40.913
we usually hang out
inside until then.

235
00:14:40.946 --> 00:14:42.047
Who's we?

236
00:14:42.080 --> 00:14:44.984
Come on I'll show you.

237
00:14:53.091 --> 00:14:54.525
I know what you're thinking.

238
00:14:54.558 --> 00:14:56.661
Did he fire six shots
or only five?

239
00:14:56.695 --> 00:14:58.664
Well, the truth with all this
excitement,

240
00:14:58.697 --> 00:15:00.565
I kind of lost track myself.

241
00:15:00.597 --> 00:15:02.633
But being this is a
forty-four Magnum,

242
00:15:02.667 --> 00:15:04.201
the most powerful handgun
in the world

243
00:15:04.235 --> 00:15:06.004
and would blow your
head clean off,

244
00:15:06.037 --> 00:15:08.273
you got to ask yourself
one question.

245
00:15:08.306 --> 00:15:10.075
Do I feel lucky?

246
00:15:10.107 --> 00:15:12.009
Well, do ya punk?

247
00:15:12.043 --> 00:15:13.245
Don't rush me.

248
00:15:13.278 --> 00:15:17.149
And that was too easy.
Dirty Harry.

249
00:15:17.182 --> 00:15:19.283
Okay, let's do this.

250
00:15:19.317 --> 00:15:22.421
About damn time.

251
00:15:25.590 --> 00:15:27.426
That's inconceivable.

252
00:15:27.458 --> 00:15:29.427
The Sicilian. Princess Bride.

253
00:15:29.461 --> 00:15:32.129
Scissors beats paper, big shock.

254
00:15:32.163 --> 00:15:33.364
Let me guess.

255
00:15:33.398 --> 00:15:36.033
Cheddar was losing so he took
his time on the next round,

256
00:15:36.067 --> 00:15:38.570
hoping to lure Rerun into a
false sense of security.

257
00:15:38.602 --> 00:15:40.604
Now, we all know that
Rerun is impatient so he

258
00:15:40.638 --> 00:15:43.408
probably began babbling
on about some film factoid

259
00:15:43.441 --> 00:15:45.243
in order to fill the
gaping silence.

260
00:15:45.275 --> 00:15:46.486
Cheddar entertained
the conversation,

261
00:15:46.510 --> 00:15:49.180
nodding here and replying there,
until he could find a point

262
00:15:49.214 --> 00:15:51.016
of weakness in
the meaningless drivel.

263
00:15:51.048 --> 00:15:53.518
And then Cheddar restarted
the match.

264
00:15:53.551 --> 00:15:57.155
Because you thought given the
state of Rerun's duress,

265
00:15:57.187 --> 00:15:59.758
he would throw what would take
the least amount of motor skill

266
00:15:59.791 --> 00:16:01.593
effort, this
of course being rock.

267
00:16:01.625 --> 00:16:03.260
So Cheddar throws paper.

268
00:16:03.293 --> 00:16:06.264
But, you forgot, Cheddar, is
that Rerun's favorite movie

269
00:16:06.297 --> 00:16:09.067
the most ready to go drive
through h thought in his

270
00:16:09.100 --> 00:16:10.745
bizarre little brain is
All The President's Men.

271
00:16:10.769 --> 00:16:12.446
A movie about a president
who's immortalized for

272
00:16:12.470 --> 00:16:15.740
two things; Watergate and this.

273
00:16:15.774 --> 00:16:19.177
What's the peace sign, but
simply scissors pointed up.

274
00:16:19.210 --> 00:16:20.545
I'm a little scared right now.

275
00:16:20.577 --> 00:16:23.481
Who's the fucking Sicilian?

276
00:16:23.514 --> 00:16:26.418
Hey, uh, who's that?

277
00:16:27.351 --> 00:16:29.420
Uh, Mr. Wiggington.
We call him Wigs.

278
00:16:30.455 --> 00:16:32.090
Oh, yeah. Is he alright?

279
00:16:32.123 --> 00:16:33.725
As good as a raging
alcoholic could be.

280
00:16:33.758 --> 00:16:35.627
Lucky for us he's also
the chess club coach.

281
00:16:38.196 --> 00:16:40.499
Uh...
that's what you guys do here,

282
00:16:40.532 --> 00:16:42.167
you guys are on the chess team?

283
00:16:42.200 --> 00:16:43.134
No, no.

284
00:16:43.168 --> 00:16:45.269
He just tells the school
we're playing chess

285
00:16:45.302 --> 00:16:46.746
and in return, we don't
tell anyone that

286
00:16:46.770 --> 00:16:48.774
he's drowning daily
in a bottle of Jim Beam.

287
00:16:49.774 --> 00:16:52.376
I see. So what exactly
do you guys do here?

288
00:16:52.409 --> 00:16:56.180
Know thy enemy. First
rule of RPS.

289
00:16:56.214 --> 00:16:57.591
I thought that was
the first rule of war.

290
00:16:57.615 --> 00:16:59.116
RPS is war.

291
00:16:59.149 --> 00:17:00.485
What is RPS?

292
00:17:00.518 --> 00:17:02.354
Rock, Paper, Scissors,
you know? Roshambo.

293
00:17:02.386 --> 00:17:04.255
And not the Roshambo
where players take turns

294
00:17:04.288 --> 00:17:07.459
kicking each others genitals
until one falls down in pain...

295
00:17:07.491 --> 00:17:08.626
the other one.

296
00:17:08.660 --> 00:17:09.494
Kelvin this is Cheddar.

297
00:17:09.528 --> 00:17:12.364
Ninth grade phenom and
super genius.

298
00:17:12.396 --> 00:17:14.341
He is going to MIT next year.
If you knew half the

299
00:17:14.365 --> 00:17:16.601
shit he does it would
make your balls ache.

300
00:17:16.634 --> 00:17:18.370
They already do from that
Roshambo thing.

301
00:17:18.403 --> 00:17:20.238
Thank you, Cheddar.
Nice to meet you.

302
00:17:20.270 --> 00:17:21.138
And this is Rerun.

303
00:17:21.172 --> 00:17:23.141
Future film producer
and movie addict.

304
00:17:23.173 --> 00:17:24.442
Guys, this is Kelvin.

305
00:17:24.643 --> 00:17:27.246
Hey, what's up. You're
a film producer?

306
00:17:27.644 --> 00:17:28.713
Show him.

307
00:17:30.347 --> 00:17:32.283
Just hold it. Hold it still.

308
00:17:32.317 --> 00:17:34.286
Hey guys, it's me Rerun.

309
00:17:34.318 --> 00:17:37.288
Alright, this shit's
going to go down tonight.

310
00:17:37.321 --> 00:17:39.490
I'm going to peepee on the popo.

311
00:17:39.523 --> 00:17:41.225
Let's do this shit right now.

312
00:17:43.361 --> 00:17:44.629
This is your film?

313
00:17:44.662 --> 00:17:47.499
DareYouToPissOnDotDot.com.

314
00:17:47.531 --> 00:17:50.167
This has been seen by
over two million people.

315
00:17:50.201 --> 00:17:51.779
Cheddar here helped
me set up the website.

316
00:17:51.803 --> 00:17:53.338
People write in and
dare me to piss on

317
00:17:53.371 --> 00:17:55.407
stuff and then I go and do it.

318
00:17:55.440 --> 00:17:57.176
Hi.

319
00:18:00.244 --> 00:18:01.245
Oh shit.

320
00:18:02.212 --> 00:18:03.848
Oh, what the fuck!

321
00:18:03.882 --> 00:18:05.650
So, what do you think, huh?

322
00:18:05.682 --> 00:18:07.652
I'm morally conflicted.

323
00:18:07.684 --> 00:18:10.422
That's the power of movies, man.
Makes you think.

324
00:18:11.288 --> 00:18:12.656
Alright, alright you
crazy bastard.

325
00:18:12.690 --> 00:18:13.658
Let's just get back-

326
00:18:13.691 --> 00:18:14.860
Hey, speaking of crazy.

327
00:18:14.893 --> 00:18:16.661
Einstein, where you
been man? You're late.

328
00:18:16.693 --> 00:18:18.363
Dude, you call him Einstein?

329
00:18:18.395 --> 00:18:19.463
Yeah.

330
00:18:19.497 --> 00:18:21.666
That's messed up dude.
Isn't he retarded? What the-

331
00:18:22.700 --> 00:18:23.668
Stop. Stop!

332
00:18:23.701 --> 00:18:24.701
Watch his fingers!

333
00:18:27.404 --> 00:18:28.507
That's enough!

334
00:18:28.539 --> 00:18:30.908
Okay! Okay, enough! Enough!

335
00:18:30.942 --> 00:18:32.777
Ow! Owwww!

336
00:18:33.611 --> 00:18:35.347
Okay. Okay, cool. Yeah, big guy

337
00:18:35.380 --> 00:18:38.383
uh, we'll pick it up tomorrow.

338
00:18:38.415 --> 00:18:40.351
What the fuck was that?

339
00:18:40.384 --> 00:18:42.220
You called him retarded.

340
00:18:42.252 --> 00:18:44.364
I didn't call him retarded.
I asked if he was retarded.

341
00:18:44.388 --> 00:18:46.423
I'm not the one fucking
calling him Einstein.

342
00:18:46.457 --> 00:18:48.894
We call him that because
he's a goddamn genius.

343
00:18:48.926 --> 00:18:50.694
He can't speak, of course,

344
00:18:50.728 --> 00:18:52.697
but if you need to hack
into the CIA,

345
00:18:52.730 --> 00:18:53.865
Einstein is your man.

346
00:18:53.897 --> 00:18:54.899
Ah!

347
00:18:54.932 --> 00:18:56.367
Don't take it personal, okay?

348
00:18:56.401 --> 00:18:58.903
It's like a trigger
word or something.

349
00:18:58.936 --> 00:19:01.238
I mean, any time anyone
says the word retarded',

350
00:19:01.271 --> 00:19:03.240
he goes ape shit.
One time he mistook

351
00:19:03.273 --> 00:19:05.209
this girl for saying
the word rewarded',

352
00:19:05.242 --> 00:19:07.412
and then he mistook
her head for a kickstand.

353
00:19:07.444 --> 00:19:09.647
Okay, I got it, okay.
Retarded, bad.

354
00:19:09.681 --> 00:19:12.183
Okay, you know what?
It doesn't even matter.

355
00:19:12.217 --> 00:19:13.726
I mean, it's not like
he needs to practice

356
00:19:13.750 --> 00:19:15.361
the guy has never lost.
Which is more than I

357
00:19:15.385 --> 00:19:16.721
can say for the rest of us.

358
00:19:16.753 --> 00:19:18.956
Lost at what? What
do you guys do here?

359
00:19:18.990 --> 00:19:21.259
RPS-we're training for the
tournament. Come on.

360
00:19:23.561 --> 00:19:26.263
Wait! There's a tournament
for rock, paper, scissors?

361
00:19:26.297 --> 00:19:28.366
International tournament. Yeah.

362
00:19:28.767 --> 00:19:30.802
Oh, man, and you guys
are training for it?

363
00:19:30.835 --> 00:19:34.271
Uh, uh. We're training for it.

364
00:19:36.307 --> 00:19:39.344
Look man I'm sorry, but, you
got the wrong guy. Okay?

365
00:19:39.376 --> 00:19:40.744
I'm going to see you around.

366
00:19:42.513 --> 00:19:43.548
Wait.

367
00:19:43.580 --> 00:19:45.884
It just came out!

368
00:19:45.916 --> 00:19:47.427
I know it sounds like
something that even

369
00:19:47.451 --> 00:19:49.386
marching band assholes
would make fun of,

370
00:19:49.420 --> 00:19:51.690
but all they get is a tall hat
and a shiny tuba

371
00:19:51.722 --> 00:19:52.957
for a life of ridicule.

372
00:19:52.990 --> 00:19:55.594
This is a legitimate tournament.
Takes place every year and the

373
00:19:55.626 --> 00:19:58.529
grand prize is two hundred and
fifty thousand dollars.

374
00:19:58.962 --> 00:20:01.566
Look, anyone can enter,
the only rule is that you

375
00:20:01.598 --> 00:20:02.766
have to have a team of five.

376
00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:04.336
And as you can see,
we're one short.

377
00:20:04.368 --> 00:20:06.770
Once Einstein comes
back, anyways.

378
00:20:06.804 --> 00:20:07.872
So what do you think?

379
00:20:07.904 --> 00:20:10.774
Seriously guys, you can get
anybody, for your team.

380
00:20:10.807 --> 00:20:12.644
I don't even know how to play.

381
00:20:12.676 --> 00:20:14.445
I didn't even know what
RPS stood for.

382
00:20:14.479 --> 00:20:15.447
He has a point there.

383
00:20:15.480 --> 00:20:16.615
Shut it, Cheddar.

384
00:20:16.647 --> 00:20:18.015
And no, we can't get just anyone

385
00:20:18.048 --> 00:20:20.484
because anyone won't give us the
uber team we need to

386
00:20:20.518 --> 00:20:21.786
compete at nationals.

387
00:20:21.818 --> 00:20:24.021
Do you think Monk chooses
his team out of a hat?

388
00:20:24.055 --> 00:20:24.923
Who the hell is Monk?

389
00:20:24.955 --> 00:20:28.325
RPS grandmaster and
reigning champion.

390
00:20:28.358 --> 00:20:30.327
Of course he is.
Look, guys honestly,

391
00:20:30.361 --> 00:20:31.796
I don't know how to, play.

392
00:20:31.828 --> 00:20:33.029
Of course you know how to play.

393
00:20:33.064 --> 00:20:37.802
Everyone knows how to play.
But, you, can know how to win.

394
00:20:37.835 --> 00:20:39.336
That was awesome.

395
00:20:39.369 --> 00:20:41.772
I think I just peed
a little. Woah.

396
00:20:42.006 --> 00:20:44.276
The force is strong
in you Kelvin Anis.

397
00:20:44.308 --> 00:20:46.344
I will make you a fucking Jedi.

398
00:20:46.376 --> 00:20:50.815
Jedi. Jedi. Jedi.
Jedi. Jedi. Jedi.

399
00:20:50.847 --> 00:20:52.616
Okay, okay.
I'll play for a little bit.

400
00:20:52.650 --> 00:20:54.352
It's not like I got
anything better to do.

401
00:20:54.384 --> 00:20:55.819
But I'm not joining your team!

402
00:20:55.853 --> 00:20:59.356
Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. Jedi.
Jedi. Jedi. Jedi. Jedi.

403
00:21:11.068 --> 00:21:12.037
Hey, Tiger.

404
00:21:12.069 --> 00:21:13.837
Hey, mom. How's work?

405
00:21:13.871 --> 00:21:15.507
You know, wasn't half bad.

406
00:21:15.539 --> 00:21:17.442
How was first day?

407
00:21:17.474 --> 00:21:19.852
I hung out with the chess team
so I wouldn't get my ass kicked.

408
00:21:19.876 --> 00:21:21.512
Yeah very funny.

409
00:21:21.546 --> 00:21:24.582
Oh, before I forget,
the internet guy came by today.

410
00:21:24.615 --> 00:21:25.784
Everything is set to go.

411
00:21:25.817 --> 00:21:27.384
Okay, just don't stay
up all night?

412
00:21:27.417 --> 00:21:28.385
I won't.

413
00:21:28.419 --> 00:21:29.387
- Promise?
- Yep.

414
00:21:29.420 --> 00:21:30.420
Okay.

415
00:21:32.423 --> 00:21:33.490
The internet.

416
00:21:33.523 --> 00:21:36.060
My one thread of a lifeline
back to civilization.

417
00:21:37.761 --> 00:21:38.871
Or at least my civilization.

418
00:21:38.895 --> 00:21:40.632
Searching battlegrounds
and alliances.

419
00:21:40.664 --> 00:21:42.032
The computer coliseum,
Achillean.

420
00:21:42.066 --> 00:21:43.167
- Connecting.

421
00:21:43.201 --> 00:21:45.703
This is my varsity.
This is my popularity.

422
00:21:45.737 --> 00:21:47.939
This is my drug of choice.

423
00:21:49.039 --> 00:21:50.442
- Alliances found.

424
00:22:00.617 --> 00:22:01.885
- You killed Lock Zero.

425
00:22:07.625 --> 00:22:09.560
- War Whore has joined.
- Holy balls.

426
00:22:09.594 --> 00:22:10.828
What's up, War?

427
00:22:10.862 --> 00:22:12.831
What's going on Cock Chugger?

428
00:22:13.931 --> 00:22:15.900
Where the hell have
you been. Man?

429
00:22:15.932 --> 00:22:17.034
Oh, Christ.

430
00:22:17.067 --> 00:22:18.911
Seriously, where have you been?
It's crazy the beatings

431
00:22:18.935 --> 00:22:20.704
I've been taking since
you've been gone.

432
00:22:20.738 --> 00:22:22.907
I know it took so
long to get set up here.

433
00:22:22.940 --> 00:22:24.442
- Dark Chyld has joined.

434
00:22:24.474 --> 00:22:25.542
You ain't shittin'.

435
00:22:25.576 --> 00:22:27.454
We're getting abused like
alter boys around here.

436
00:22:27.478 --> 00:22:28.779
What's up Chyld?

437
00:22:28.813 --> 00:22:30.915
Yo, who the hell is
Silent Fury, man?

438
00:22:30.948 --> 00:22:32.083
Who?

439
00:22:32.115 --> 00:22:33.917
Silent Fury. Who the
hell is that?

440
00:22:33.951 --> 00:22:35.118
I have no idea. Why?

441
00:22:35.152 --> 00:22:37.521
Cause he's been slapping the
shit out of us for the last

442
00:22:37.555 --> 00:22:39.090
two weeks without even saying
a word.

443
00:22:39.123 --> 00:22:40.392
Not even trying.

444
00:22:40.424 --> 00:22:41.925
There's a new gamer on here?

445
00:22:41.959 --> 00:22:43.628
How the hell did he get in?

446
00:22:43.661 --> 00:22:45.764
We saw someone listed
as living in that dogtown

447
00:22:45.797 --> 00:22:48.466
you call home so sent an invite.

448
00:22:48.499 --> 00:22:49.933
Thought it was you.

449
00:22:49.967 --> 00:22:51.936
Someone from here
is on Achillean?

450
00:22:51.969 --> 00:22:53.037
I don't know, apparently.

451
00:22:53.069 --> 00:22:54.038
How do you not know this?

452
00:22:54.070 --> 00:22:56.073
Aren't there 12 people that live
in that town?

453
00:22:56.106 --> 00:22:58.710
Yeah dude. That reminds me,
how's your mom's doing?

454
00:22:58.742 --> 00:23:01.579
Donkey, fucking rapetard!

455
00:23:01.980 --> 00:23:04.048
Why you gotta bring
my mom's into this?

456
00:23:04.080 --> 00:23:05.082
- Silent Fury has joined.

457
00:23:05.115 --> 00:23:06.651
Oh shit. It's him.

458
00:23:06.683 --> 00:23:07.951
Who?

459
00:23:07.984 --> 00:23:09.086
Man, it's Fury!

460
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:11.455
I got your fucking sauce buddy.

461
00:23:11.489 --> 00:23:12.957
Your mother doesn't love you!

462
00:23:12.990 --> 00:23:13.958
- You're new.

463
00:23:13.990 --> 00:23:14.959
You're new, huh?

464
00:23:14.991 --> 00:23:16.560
- Dark Chyld has joined.

465
00:23:18.663 --> 00:23:19.697
Son of a whore!

466
00:23:19.730 --> 00:23:21.866
- You were killed by
Silent Fury.

467
00:23:22.666 --> 00:23:25.169
- You were killed by
Silent Fury.

468
00:23:26.871 --> 00:23:28.206
Hold on.

469
00:23:28.239 --> 00:23:29.973
Alright, just chill
guys I got this.

470
00:23:47.258 --> 00:23:49.728
- You were killed by
Silent Fury.

471
00:23:51.828 --> 00:23:53.630
Damn.

472
00:24:05.242 --> 00:24:09.246
Hey! You're the new
kid. From L.A., right?

473
00:24:09.279 --> 00:24:11.014
Yeah. How could you tell?

474
00:24:11.048 --> 00:24:13.183
Your clothes kind
of gave it away.

475
00:24:14.218 --> 00:24:16.019
Really? I'm Kelvin.

476
00:24:16.053 --> 00:24:16.887
Hi, I'm Valerie.

477
00:24:16.921 --> 00:24:19.891
Valerie Ward. Yeah, I know.

478
00:24:19.923 --> 00:24:24.194
Worst thing about small towns.
Everyone knows everyone.

479
00:24:24.228 --> 00:24:26.631
I thought that was the best
thing about small towns.

480
00:24:26.663 --> 00:24:29.032
Explains why they
always stay small?

481
00:24:29.066 --> 00:24:31.635
Val, your late. Let's go.

482
00:24:32.636 --> 00:24:35.740
Oh. Um, keep the clothes Kelvin.

483
00:24:35.772 --> 00:24:37.641
It's good to stand out.

484
00:24:37.674 --> 00:24:39.610
See you later.

485
00:24:39.644 --> 00:24:41.246
See ya.

486
00:24:44.147 --> 00:24:46.583
How are you talking
to Valerie Ward?

487
00:24:46.616 --> 00:24:47.784
What's up, Fritz?

488
00:24:47.817 --> 00:24:49.996
I am. Jesus Christ, dude.
I'm saluting for the both of us.

489
00:24:50.020 --> 00:24:51.855
That's Valerie Ward.

490
00:24:51.888 --> 00:24:54.057
I've lived here my whole life
and pedophiles stand

491
00:24:54.090 --> 00:24:56.059
closer to preschools
than I have to her.

492
00:24:57.795 --> 00:24:59.230
What did you think about
last night?

493
00:24:59.262 --> 00:25:00.741
I think you know a
little too much about

494
00:25:00.765 --> 00:25:01.866
rock, paper, scissors.

495
00:25:01.900 --> 00:25:05.670
Oh, that's nothing, man.
I got moves you never even seen.

496
00:25:05.702 --> 00:25:07.771
What are you doing?

497
00:25:09.272 --> 00:25:11.842
Fritz, Please stop,
dude. Come on.

498
00:25:11.875 --> 00:25:12.844
Shimmy. Shimmy.

499
00:25:12.876 --> 00:25:13.912
Dude. Stop. Stop. Stop.

500
00:25:13.944 --> 00:25:15.078
What? What?

501
00:25:15.112 --> 00:25:16.255
Cut it out. What are you doing?

502
00:25:16.279 --> 00:25:17.882
Alright, alright.
I'm just playing.

503
00:25:17.914 --> 00:25:19.474
Just playing. Chill.
But seriously dude,

504
00:25:19.916 --> 00:25:21.919
if you thought last
night was intense,

505
00:25:21.952 --> 00:25:23.563
just wait until tonight.
That's all I'm saying.

506
00:25:23.587 --> 00:25:25.088
Fritz. Fritz. I told you man.

507
00:25:25.122 --> 00:25:27.625
Last night was a one time thing.
I'm RPSed out.

508
00:25:27.657 --> 00:25:30.627
Come on, man. You're
my ninja, dog.

509
00:25:30.661 --> 00:25:33.331
Fritz, I'm out. Okay? I'm done.

510
00:25:33.364 --> 00:25:34.766
What am I going to
tell the team?

511
00:25:34.798 --> 00:25:36.800
I don't know, tell them to find
somebody else!

512
00:25:36.834 --> 00:25:38.110
Look, I just want to
keep my head down

513
00:25:38.134 --> 00:25:38.935
and get out of here, okay?

514
00:25:38.969 --> 00:25:41.105
You know what, screw
you Hollywood.

515
00:25:41.137 --> 00:25:43.307
On second thought, screw me.

516
00:25:43.340 --> 00:25:46.277
Never trust anyone.

517
00:25:46.611 --> 00:25:48.780
I should have known better.

518
00:25:51.214 --> 00:25:53.884
Watch where you're going, Anus.

519
00:26:26.182 --> 00:26:28.051
What are you going
to do about it McFatty?

520
00:26:28.085 --> 00:26:31.956
Heh? Hey come on now.

521
00:26:31.989 --> 00:26:33.156
Cry. Show me some tears.

522
00:26:33.190 --> 00:26:34.158
Stop.

523
00:26:34.191 --> 00:26:35.293
Stop what? Come on.

524
00:26:35.326 --> 00:26:37.729
Let him go, asshole.

525
00:26:37.929 --> 00:26:42.166
Well, well, well. Kelvin Anus.

526
00:26:42.199 --> 00:26:45.637
Don't tell me you're all rock
paper scissorfied too.

527
00:26:45.670 --> 00:26:47.872
Yo, Anus. I got a rock for ya.

528
00:26:47.904 --> 00:26:49.706
Jordan. What are you doing?

529
00:26:49.740 --> 00:26:52.343
Hey Stacy, Just in time for the
show.

530
00:26:52.375 --> 00:26:53.711
Jordan, stop it.

531
00:26:53.743 --> 00:26:56.179
Hey! Is there a problem here?

532
00:26:56.212 --> 00:26:58.883
No. No problem, sir.

533
00:26:58.915 --> 00:27:00.250
See, that's where you're wrong.

534
00:27:00.284 --> 00:27:01.385
Because I got a problem.

535
00:27:01.419 --> 00:27:03.362
It seems some wiseguy thought
it might be a good idea

536
00:27:03.386 --> 00:27:05.123
to use his dick as a firehose

537
00:27:05.155 --> 00:27:07.024
and piss all over my
bathroom floor.

538
00:27:07.057 --> 00:27:08.200
You wouldn't know nothing
about that,

539
00:27:08.224 --> 00:27:09.693
now, would you Davies?

540
00:27:09.727 --> 00:27:13.665
No. Could have been
an accident, or a mistake.

541
00:27:13.698 --> 00:27:15.408
But I'll be sure to let you know
if I hear anything.

542
00:27:15.432 --> 00:27:16.733
You, dig?

543
00:27:16.767 --> 00:27:18.236
I think that's a good idea.

544
00:27:18.269 --> 00:27:19.737
Because, if it happens again,

545
00:27:19.769 --> 00:27:21.338
I might accidentally
mistake your lips

546
00:27:21.372 --> 00:27:24.776
for a toilet seat. You, dig?

547
00:27:26.009 --> 00:27:28.945
You lucked out this time, Anus.

548
00:27:28.979 --> 00:27:30.914
See ya.

549
00:27:39.289 --> 00:27:40.357
Fritz...

550
00:27:40.391 --> 00:27:41.893
I'm fine.

551
00:27:42.893 --> 00:27:44.228
I'm sorry.

552
00:27:59.009 --> 00:28:00.979
Here.

553
00:28:01.278 --> 00:28:03.346
Thanks.

554
00:28:03.380 --> 00:28:04.849
Who's the girl?

555
00:28:04.882 --> 00:28:05.850
Carla Cummings.

556
00:28:05.883 --> 00:28:07.117
Fritz's imaginary girlfriend.

557
00:28:07.151 --> 00:28:09.120
Screw you, Rerun.

558
00:28:09.153 --> 00:28:10.188
She seems nice.

559
00:28:10.221 --> 00:28:12.289
Oh. Great. Well, you know,
why don't you call up

560
00:28:12.323 --> 00:28:13.758
Valerie and get a three-
way going?

561
00:28:13.790 --> 00:28:14.858
Come on, Fritz.

562
00:28:14.892 --> 00:28:16.794
Forget it. It doesn't
even matter.

563
00:28:16.826 --> 00:28:18.405
Look, thanks for your
help back there Hollywood,

564
00:28:18.429 --> 00:28:20.331
really, but we got to
get to practice.

565
00:28:20.364 --> 00:28:22.467
You're right. We do.

566
00:28:22.500 --> 00:28:24.032
Oh, so now you want
to join the team?

567
00:28:24.034 --> 00:28:26.204
If it's cool by you, of course.

568
00:28:28.506 --> 00:28:30.007
Rock on.

569
00:28:30.039 --> 00:28:32.309
Carla Cummings.

570
00:28:38.481 --> 00:28:40.451
Alright, listen up.
We don't have a lot of time

571
00:28:40.483 --> 00:28:41.317
to get our shit together

572
00:28:41.352 --> 00:28:44.288
so take your skirts
off and sack up.

573
00:28:44.320 --> 00:28:45.966
Regionals are eight weeks away
and if we're going to

574
00:28:45.990 --> 00:28:47.501
have a chance of winning
it and making it to the

575
00:28:47.525 --> 00:28:48.460
championship,

576
00:28:48.492 --> 00:28:50.427
we're going to have
to be quicker, slicker,

577
00:28:50.461 --> 00:28:51.871
trickier than a greased pig
ducking gang rape

578
00:28:51.895 --> 00:28:53.297
in the shower. Got it?

579
00:28:53.329 --> 00:28:54.365
I think so.

580
00:28:54.397 --> 00:28:55.365
What?

581
00:28:55.398 --> 00:28:56.800
Yeah. I guess, yeah.

582
00:28:56.834 --> 00:28:59.437
Good. Now, how do we do that?

583
00:28:59.470 --> 00:29:00.438
Well, I was thin-

584
00:29:00.471 --> 00:29:02.839
Shut up, Cheddar. Guys?

585
00:29:02.873 --> 00:29:04.542
We win?

586
00:29:04.575 --> 00:29:06.943
How do we win?

587
00:29:06.977 --> 00:29:08.880
Um...

588
00:29:08.913 --> 00:29:10.948
hard work?

589
00:29:10.980 --> 00:29:12.817
Specific.

590
00:29:12.849 --> 00:29:14.918
What training do we need to do?

591
00:29:14.951 --> 00:29:17.855
Practice. Practice.

592
00:29:17.887 --> 00:29:19.256
What?

593
00:29:19.289 --> 00:29:23.126
Practice, uh,
rock, paper, scissors?

594
00:29:23.160 --> 00:29:25.329
Practice rock, I don't know.

595
00:29:25.362 --> 00:29:28.032
You, you're the one giving
the speech.

596
00:29:28.898 --> 00:29:30.968
Don't look at me.

597
00:29:31.468 --> 00:29:32.503
What?

598
00:29:32.536 --> 00:29:34.905
Dumbass.

599
00:30:05.269 --> 00:30:06.545
In and out without
touching the blade.

600
00:30:06.569 --> 00:30:07.605
Are you sure about this?

601
00:30:07.637 --> 00:30:09.515
It's a training technique
I learned about online.

602
00:30:09.539 --> 00:30:11.509
Training for what the Viet Cong?

603
00:30:11.541 --> 00:30:13.577
Trust me. Cheddar.

604
00:30:14.144 --> 00:30:16.247
Ow!

605
00:30:16.279 --> 00:30:18.115
Rerun.

606
00:30:19.215 --> 00:30:21.885
Ah!

607
00:30:30.994 --> 00:30:33.298
- Hey, I got it.
- Hey, hey.

608
00:30:36.599 --> 00:30:40.137
Remember, there is no spoon.

609
00:30:44.508 --> 00:30:48.144
Damn, that was fast.
How'd you do that?

610
00:30:48.178 --> 00:30:50.448
You want speed? Watch and learn.

611
00:31:11.434 --> 00:31:15.138
Give me the.

612
00:31:15.172 --> 00:31:18.041
Hey! You're going to break it.

613
00:31:19.476 --> 00:31:21.946
- Parting is such sweet sorrow.

614
00:31:22.578 --> 00:31:24.948
- You were killed by Silent
Fury.

615
00:31:25.548 --> 00:31:27.317
To be the master of RPS.

616
00:31:27.351 --> 00:31:30.488
RPS. RPS. I'm the genius.

617
00:31:30.820 --> 00:31:32.455
Is this what you're
going to do to Carla?

618
00:31:32.489 --> 00:31:37.461
Throw your joystick?
In her face, huh?

619
00:31:37.493 --> 00:31:41.197
- Rock. - Rock. - Paper.
- Paper - Scissors. - Scissors.

620
00:31:41.230 --> 00:31:42.230
- Yes! Yes!

621
00:31:51.642 --> 00:31:54.445
- Yeah!
- Wooh!

622
00:31:59.016 --> 00:32:00.484
Son of a bitch.

623
00:32:00.517 --> 00:32:01.719
Where's Rerun?

624
00:32:01.751 --> 00:32:03.387
- What?
- Oh! Shoot!

625
00:32:05.521 --> 00:32:07.325
- Rerun.

626
00:32:08.058 --> 00:32:10.226
Okay, listen up.
I know you guys have

627
00:32:10.259 --> 00:32:12.037
been working your asses
off, lately. Rerun you

628
00:32:12.061 --> 00:32:14.030
may have suffered
a small heart attack.

629
00:32:14.064 --> 00:32:15.374
- We're not sure.
- You'll be alright.

630
00:32:15.398 --> 00:32:17.367
But tomorrow you'll see why.

631
00:32:17.401 --> 00:32:19.370
Tomorrow, we take every
RPS player in the state

632
00:32:19.403 --> 00:32:21.204
and we pound their asses
into submission.

633
00:32:21.238 --> 00:32:23.039
You know what I mean?

634
00:32:23.073 --> 00:32:25.376
Einstein you feeling good?
You feeling frosty?

635
00:32:26.643 --> 00:32:30.181
Awesome, I... think.

636
00:32:30.881 --> 00:32:34.285
Okay, everyone go home
and get some rest

637
00:32:34.317 --> 00:32:36.319
because tomorrow we
shit on everybody,

638
00:32:36.353 --> 00:32:40.124
and I'm all stocked
up on laxatives.

639
00:32:41.325 --> 00:32:45.263
What are you doing?
Go home. Rest. Go.

640
00:32:45.563 --> 00:32:46.597
Okay.

641
00:32:46.630 --> 00:32:47.999
Rerun you live here.

642
00:32:48.031 --> 00:32:49.332
Oh, sorry.

643
00:32:49.365 --> 00:32:51.268
Dumbass.

644
00:32:51.300 --> 00:32:52.300
Hello?

645
00:33:06.583 --> 00:33:07.752
Kelvin!

646
00:33:07.785 --> 00:33:08.853
Hey!

647
00:33:08.885 --> 00:33:13.557
Hey. Um, I heard that
you worked here.

648
00:33:13.589 --> 00:33:16.559
Wow. Word travels fast.

649
00:33:16.593 --> 00:33:20.031
So, um, where you headed?

650
00:33:20.064 --> 00:33:22.298
I'm on my way to my
grandparents' house.

651
00:33:22.332 --> 00:33:25.102
My mom and I are staying there
until we finding our own place.

652
00:33:25.134 --> 00:33:27.605
Actually, I'm just on the way.

653
00:33:27.637 --> 00:33:29.572
Do you mind if I join you?

654
00:33:29.605 --> 00:33:31.041
Yeah, sure.

655
00:33:31.075 --> 00:33:32.043
Yeah?

656
00:33:32.076 --> 00:33:34.144
Yeah. Alright, let's go.

657
00:33:42.086 --> 00:33:44.755
So, what's it like?

658
00:33:44.788 --> 00:33:46.057
What's what like?

659
00:33:46.089 --> 00:33:49.192
You know, not being from here?

660
00:33:49.226 --> 00:33:52.596
Well, it's
different. Not like good

661
00:33:52.628 --> 00:33:55.598
or bad different. Just
different.

662
00:33:55.632 --> 00:33:56.600
Yeah, I bet.

663
00:33:56.633 --> 00:33:58.477
No, seriously, a couple
months ago I was begging

664
00:33:58.501 --> 00:34:01.238
for the electric chair, but,
I don't know. There's

665
00:34:01.270 --> 00:34:05.042
some things about this place I
kind of got attached to.

666
00:34:10.313 --> 00:34:13.451
Well, this is me.

667
00:34:14.650 --> 00:34:16.619
Thanks for the walk Kelvin.

668
00:34:16.652 --> 00:34:18.254
Good luck tomorrow, you know,

669
00:34:18.288 --> 00:34:21.157
with your rock, paper,
scissors thing.

670
00:34:22.126 --> 00:34:24.628
That it just sounds
a little ridiculous,

671
00:34:24.661 --> 00:34:25.829
but thank you.

672
00:34:25.862 --> 00:34:26.830
Goodnight, Kelvin.

673
00:34:26.864 --> 00:34:27.831
Good night.

674
00:34:27.864 --> 00:34:30.100
Parting is such sweet sorrow.

675
00:34:30.134 --> 00:34:31.635
What did you say?

676
00:34:31.668 --> 00:34:33.570
What?

677
00:34:33.804 --> 00:34:38.576
Fury? You're the Silent Fury?

678
00:34:38.608 --> 00:34:40.643
I don't know what
you're talking about.

679
00:34:40.677 --> 00:34:44.248
Oh my, Gosh. Parting
is such sweet sorrow.

680
00:34:44.280 --> 00:34:45.081
I'm Hellboy. You've been kicking

681
00:34:45.114 --> 00:34:46.649
the shit out of me for
two months!

682
00:34:46.682 --> 00:34:48.518
You're not making
any sense, Kelvin.

683
00:34:48.552 --> 00:34:49.519
Valerie...

684
00:34:49.552 --> 00:34:52.289
Just leave me alone.

685
00:34:53.356 --> 00:34:55.692
Valerie, wait!

686
00:34:58.695 --> 00:35:02.133
What the hell just happened?

687
00:35:19.815 --> 00:35:21.551
Valerie?

688
00:35:42.606 --> 00:35:44.942
Parting is such sweet sorrow.

689
00:35:55.284 --> 00:35:57.687
Oh!

690
00:36:11.768 --> 00:36:14.938
This is it boys. It
all starts here.

691
00:36:14.972 --> 00:36:17.541
I mean look at these guys.
I haven't seen this many pussies

692
00:36:17.574 --> 00:36:21.478
since I stopped peeping in the
girls' locker room.

693
00:36:21.510 --> 00:36:23.346
What the hell?

694
00:36:23.380 --> 00:36:24.582
What? What is it?

695
00:36:24.614 --> 00:36:26.416
Monk.

696
00:36:26.449 --> 00:36:28.284
That's Monk? What the hell's he
doing here?

697
00:36:28.318 --> 00:36:29.520
Not playing, that's for sure.

698
00:36:29.552 --> 00:36:31.588
He qualifies in a different
region.

699
00:36:31.621 --> 00:36:33.489
Fuck him. You guys start
warming up.

700
00:36:33.523 --> 00:36:36.827
I'll sign us in. It's
time to kick some ass.

701
00:36:41.798 --> 00:36:44.235
Rock Paper Scissors.

702
00:38:03.547 --> 00:38:06.784
Need you to klck this guy so
hard you make his eyes bleed.

703
00:38:43.686 --> 00:38:47.590
On to the finals,
bitches. Let's do this.

704
00:38:47.623 --> 00:38:49.092
It was like bam, bam, bam.

705
00:38:49.126 --> 00:38:49.994
And it was done.

706
00:38:50.027 --> 00:38:50.894
That guy is going to
have a concussion

707
00:38:50.927 --> 00:38:53.063
after being slapped
around like that.

708
00:38:53.096 --> 00:38:54.764
Alright, alright.
Let's just get Einstein

709
00:38:54.797 --> 00:38:56.709
and get this over with quick.
I don't want any surprises,

710
00:38:56.733 --> 00:38:57.701
okay?

711
00:38:57.733 --> 00:39:00.371
Oh, man. Well, you're
not going to like this.

712
00:39:00.403 --> 00:39:02.706
Son of a bitch.

713
00:39:05.675 --> 00:39:07.443
Einstein, where the
hell you going man?

714
00:39:07.476 --> 00:39:09.379
The finals are in fifteen
minutes.

715
00:39:09.413 --> 00:39:11.914
Mr. Flaherty, am I right?

716
00:39:11.947 --> 00:39:12.915
You played very well today.

717
00:39:12.949 --> 00:39:15.052
Congratulations on making
it to the finals.

718
00:39:15.085 --> 00:39:17.688
Can it Conehead. What are you
doing with my player?

719
00:39:17.721 --> 00:39:19.865
Well, if you're referring to Mr.
Copeland here then I must

720
00:39:19.889 --> 00:39:23.460
apologize. I met his parents
about a month ago.

721
00:39:23.492 --> 00:39:26.764
I learned of his ability
and asked his parents

722
00:39:26.797 --> 00:39:30.067
if he'd mind joining my team.
Mr. Copeland will be

723
00:39:30.099 --> 00:39:32.969
flying with me this
evening to New York

724
00:39:33.003 --> 00:39:36.940
to play
in the Manhattan Regionals.

725
00:39:36.972 --> 00:39:39.543
Oh, he didn't,
he didn't tell you?

726
00:39:39.576 --> 00:39:41.119
No, of course he didn't
fucking tell us.

727
00:39:41.143 --> 00:39:43.813
He can't fucking talk!
Look, if he doesn't

728
00:39:43.847 --> 00:39:45.549
go back in there with
us right now,

729
00:39:45.581 --> 00:39:46.650
we forfeit the final.

730
00:39:46.682 --> 00:39:49.952
We forfeit the final
we don't make the championship.

731
00:39:49.985 --> 00:39:54.424
I'm sorry. But it's
late. Good luck.

732
00:40:04.601 --> 00:40:05.836
So what are we going to do?

733
00:40:05.869 --> 00:40:07.971
There's nothing we
can do. We're fucked.

734
00:40:08.003 --> 00:40:09.115
There's got to be
something else.

735
00:40:09.139 --> 00:40:11.974
There's not, alright? This was
it and that it is over.

736
00:40:12.007 --> 00:40:13.586
Fritz there has got to be
something we can do.

737
00:40:13.610 --> 00:40:15.913
There's not, alright?

738
00:40:15.945 --> 00:40:17.914
I didn't even want to play
this stupid game.

739
00:40:17.947 --> 00:40:19.157
Why are you taking it out on me?

740
00:40:19.181 --> 00:40:20.917
You don't get it, do you?

741
00:40:20.951 --> 00:40:25.489
There is literally no
something else', not for me.

742
00:40:25.521 --> 00:40:27.657
As stupid as it sounds,
this is the one thing

743
00:40:27.690 --> 00:40:28.991
that I'm actually good at.

744
00:40:29.025 --> 00:40:31.862
Now I'm on Monk's fucking
blacklist.

745
00:40:31.894 --> 00:40:34.530
I'll never get another
team together. I'm done.

746
00:40:34.563 --> 00:40:36.098
Don't you see?
Next year, Cheddar,

747
00:40:36.132 --> 00:40:39.068
you're going to be building
spaceships at MIT.

748
00:40:39.101 --> 00:40:42.038
Rerun, you're gonna be directing
porn, or some shit.

749
00:40:42.072 --> 00:40:44.807
Kelvin, you're from Hollywood.

750
00:40:44.840 --> 00:40:48.144
That makes you born
cooler than I am now.

751
00:40:48.177 --> 00:40:51.547
This was my one chance,
one chance to do

752
00:40:51.581 --> 00:40:53.750
something better than
someone else.

753
00:40:53.782 --> 00:40:58.054
The girl, the title,
the money - it's gone.

754
00:40:58.722 --> 00:41:01.725
All this work and for what?

755
00:41:01.757 --> 00:41:06.730
I got nothing. I got nothing.

756
00:41:06.762 --> 00:41:11.768
Never trust anyone.
Fuck, I know better.

757
00:43:37.813 --> 00:43:40.817
Hey.

758
00:43:43.186 --> 00:43:45.822
What is it with this
place anyway?

759
00:43:45.855 --> 00:43:47.990
Why can't we just be ourselves.

760
00:43:48.023 --> 00:43:49.226
I don't know. Why can't you?

761
00:43:49.259 --> 00:43:51.228
It's easy for you, isn't it?

762
00:43:51.260 --> 00:43:54.264
Just being yourself, not caring
what other people think.

763
00:43:54.297 --> 00:43:57.266
Opinions are overrated.

764
00:43:57.300 --> 00:43:59.736
Really? Even when
their your parents'?

765
00:43:59.768 --> 00:44:01.280
Do you know my parents
took away my computer

766
00:44:01.304 --> 00:44:03.206
when I was twelve years old?

767
00:44:03.239 --> 00:44:05.208
They said I was becoming
a social misfit.

768
00:44:05.240 --> 00:44:06.976
That the internet wasn't
for girls

769
00:44:07.010 --> 00:44:09.278
who are pretty and popular.

770
00:44:09.311 --> 00:44:11.313
Like all the friends I made,

771
00:44:11.347 --> 00:44:14.818
all the games I played,
like weren't even real.

772
00:44:14.851 --> 00:44:17.421
You know just because my best
memories are made up of pixels

773
00:44:17.454 --> 00:44:20.090
rather than skin cells doesn't
make them any less real.

774
00:44:20.123 --> 00:44:22.291
So who are they to judge?

775
00:44:22.324 --> 00:44:26.762
Exactly. So, don't
let them Fury.

776
00:44:26.795 --> 00:44:31.300
Kelvin, I know you guys lost and
I know why.

777
00:44:32.268 --> 00:44:33.036
What?

778
00:44:33.068 --> 00:44:35.371
It was Jordan.
I guess, awhile back

779
00:44:35.405 --> 00:44:37.307
he called up some Monk
guy and told him about a

780
00:44:37.340 --> 00:44:39.943
player on your team
that was unbeatable.

781
00:44:39.976 --> 00:44:41.352
He told him to pull
your player just

782
00:44:41.376 --> 00:44:45.315
when it would make you
fail to qualify.

783
00:44:45.514 --> 00:44:49.251
Son of a bitch. How
do you know this?

784
00:44:49.284 --> 00:44:51.454
He was bragging about
it to all of us.

785
00:44:51.487 --> 00:44:54.790
It's just a big joke
to him. I'm sorry.

786
00:44:54.824 --> 00:44:57.728
Too bad sorry' can't
get us in the tournament.

787
00:44:57.760 --> 00:45:01.264
No, but I may know
something that can.

788
00:45:01.297 --> 00:45:03.032
What do you mean?

789
00:45:03.065 --> 00:45:06.502
Let's just say I know
my way around cyberspace

790
00:45:06.536 --> 00:45:09.972
and the world wide web
knows a lot of loopholes.

791
00:45:10.005 --> 00:45:10.973
What's this?

792
00:45:11.007 --> 00:45:13.275
I'm not exactly sure,
but I'm told that if you

793
00:45:13.309 --> 00:45:15.211
really want to get back in
that tournament,

794
00:45:15.244 --> 00:45:17.880
the guy at that address
is your only chance.

795
00:45:24.320 --> 00:45:26.155
Hey, what are you doing?

796
00:45:26.188 --> 00:45:28.357
Hey, Just getting some of my
stuff out of there.

797
00:45:28.391 --> 00:45:29.468
Listen, I got to tell
you something.

798
00:45:29.492 --> 00:45:31.403
There's nothing to talk about.
Tournament is over.

799
00:45:31.427 --> 00:45:33.063
We lost. Accept it.

800
00:45:33.096 --> 00:45:34.164
You've accepted it?

801
00:45:34.197 --> 00:45:35.965
I don't have much
choice now, do I?

802
00:45:35.998 --> 00:45:37.366
Now, what if I told
you, you did.

803
00:45:37.400 --> 00:45:39.802
I'm sorry, do you
live in Neverland?

804
00:45:39.835 --> 00:45:42.171
Unless you have a freight
train to that pixie shit,

805
00:45:42.204 --> 00:45:44.907
any dreams you have of making
it to the championship

806
00:45:44.940 --> 00:45:47.042
are going to stay a
fucking fairytale.

807
00:45:47.076 --> 00:45:50.079
Well, I don't live
in Neverland, but,

808
00:45:50.112 --> 00:45:52.081
I may just have the address.

809
00:46:05.460 --> 00:46:06.562
We got to be getting close.

810
00:46:06.596 --> 00:46:08.565
Woah, woah, wait. There it is.

811
00:46:08.597 --> 00:46:10.099
Alright, stop the car.

812
00:46:10.132 --> 00:46:12.168
Stop. Stop. Stop.

813
00:46:15.905 --> 00:46:19.209
I can't believe you
guys talked me into this.

814
00:46:19.242 --> 00:46:21.144
This car is my dad's
pride and joy.

815
00:46:21.177 --> 00:46:23.346
Relax, Cheddar. Nothing's
going to happen.

816
00:46:23.378 --> 00:46:24.490
You watch the news too much.

817
00:46:24.514 --> 00:46:26.916
Oh, tell me, how does
hearing something on the news

818
00:46:26.949 --> 00:46:28.851
make it more likely for it to
happen to me?

819
00:46:28.885 --> 00:46:30.028
Alright, come on. Let's just go.

820
00:46:30.052 --> 00:46:31.821
No way. There's no
way we're parking here.

821
00:46:31.855 --> 00:46:32.623
Come on, Cheddar.

822
00:46:32.655 --> 00:46:35.391
Stay in the car. Okay?
Just stay.

823
00:46:41.396 --> 00:46:44.300
Man, is he paranoid.

824
00:46:55.277 --> 00:46:59.281
We better not be wasting
our time. What the fuck?

825
00:46:59.315 --> 00:47:00.450
Fucking hell gramps.

826
00:47:00.483 --> 00:47:03.620
Put that goddamn gun down.

827
00:47:03.652 --> 00:47:05.955
Sorry boys. You never
know when you might

828
00:47:05.989 --> 00:47:08.391
meet a stray
negro running around.

829
00:47:08.423 --> 00:47:10.192
Get Cheddar the fuck
out of here.

830
00:47:10.226 --> 00:47:11.595
What do you Nancies want?

831
00:47:11.628 --> 00:47:13.096
A diaper for starters and

832
00:47:13.128 --> 00:47:16.298
maybe a copy of the
emancipation proclamation!

833
00:47:16.331 --> 00:47:19.268
No, shit, my gramp
is a bit of a racist fuck.

834
00:47:19.302 --> 00:47:21.471
You're blowing my fucking
mind right now.

835
00:47:21.503 --> 00:47:23.472
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

836
00:47:23.505 --> 00:47:27.911
We were told you might be able
to help us with this.

837
00:47:31.914 --> 00:47:34.918
Talk.

838
00:47:35.751 --> 00:47:37.954
So can you get us in or not?

839
00:47:37.987 --> 00:47:41.291
Let's say I can. Why should I?

840
00:47:41.324 --> 00:47:43.026
Pay back some of the
morality debt.

841
00:47:43.059 --> 00:47:44.894
Grandpa Klan up there's
racked up.

842
00:47:44.927 --> 00:47:45.728
Is he always that funny?

843
00:47:45.762 --> 00:47:47.631
You always speak with
that accent?

844
00:47:47.664 --> 00:47:51.268
What accent? You guys any good?

845
00:47:51.300 --> 00:47:54.170
Regional finals until
Monk screwed us over.

846
00:47:54.202 --> 00:47:54.971
Monk?

847
00:47:55.003 --> 00:47:59.175
Yeah, Monk. Took our
best player.

848
00:48:00.143 --> 00:48:04.179
Alright. I'll help
you get in on one condition.

849
00:48:04.213 --> 00:48:05.315
I play on your team.

850
00:48:05.347 --> 00:48:06.516
No.

851
00:48:06.548 --> 00:48:09.552
C'mon Fritz. We need
a fifth player anyway.

852
00:48:09.985 --> 00:48:10.753
Can you play?

853
00:48:10.786 --> 00:48:12.321
You just worry about yourselves.

854
00:48:12.355 --> 00:48:14.990
Alright, hotshot,
let's say you're in.

855
00:48:15.023 --> 00:48:16.558
How do we get into the
tournament?

856
00:48:16.592 --> 00:48:19.996
We get an invitation
from the commissioner.

857
00:48:20.028 --> 00:48:20.829
Why didn't I think of that?

858
00:48:20.862 --> 00:48:22.565
You know, let's call
him right now.

859
00:48:22.597 --> 00:48:24.166
Hey, Commish, how's it hanging?

860
00:48:24.199 --> 00:48:26.502
Can we get an invite
to the league championship?

861
00:48:26.536 --> 00:48:28.079
- What did he say?
- Oh yeah, good call.

862
00:48:28.103 --> 00:48:29.115
He's going to get right on that.

863
00:48:29.139 --> 00:48:31.074
- Didn't say we ask for it.
- So, what do we do?

864
00:48:31.106 --> 00:48:31.875
We win it.

865
00:48:31.907 --> 00:48:35.144
Uh, newsflash, regionals
are over.

866
00:48:35.177 --> 00:48:36.655
Kind of why we're here
in the first place.

867
00:48:36.679 --> 00:48:38.949
Come on, Hollywood,
we're wasting our time.

868
00:48:38.981 --> 00:48:41.550
We win it at the URL.

869
00:48:41.583 --> 00:48:42.652
What'd you say?

870
00:48:42.684 --> 00:48:46.389
You heard me. We win
it at the URL.

871
00:48:46.422 --> 00:48:48.358
Fritz, what's a URL?

872
00:48:48.391 --> 00:48:50.626
A figment of his imagination.
That's what it is.

873
00:48:50.659 --> 00:48:52.494
You sure about that?

874
00:48:52.527 --> 00:48:54.496
Yeah.

875
00:48:54.530 --> 00:48:56.666
Well, I've got five
broken bones and

876
00:48:56.699 --> 00:48:59.302
three skin grafts to
suggest otherwise.

877
00:48:59.335 --> 00:49:04.206
Wait a second, I know who you
are. You're Logan Carter.

878
00:49:06.675 --> 00:49:11.181
What the fuck is a URL? What?

879
00:49:15.751 --> 00:49:17.387
Underground RPS League.

880
00:49:17.420 --> 00:49:19.264
They supposedly ran
a no-holds-barred tournament

881
00:49:19.288 --> 00:49:22.492
unsanctioned by Rock Paper
Scissors Association of America.

882
00:49:22.525 --> 00:49:23.994
I just thought it was a myth.

883
00:49:24.027 --> 00:49:25.662
It's no myth.
The RPS commissioner

884
00:49:25.695 --> 00:49:27.664
has a hard on for full contact.

885
00:49:27.697 --> 00:49:28.999
He can't sanction the league

886
00:49:29.032 --> 00:49:29.967
but doesn't mean he can't extend

887
00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:32.001
an invitation to the
winners under the table.

888
00:49:32.034 --> 00:49:33.079
Fritz, how do you know this guy?

889
00:49:33.103 --> 00:49:35.014
Logan Carter was an up and
comer in then RPS ranks.

890
00:49:35.038 --> 00:49:36.338
Had a lot of potential.

891
00:49:36.371 --> 00:49:38.340
I heard Monk tried to
recruit him.

892
00:49:38.373 --> 00:49:41.043
Recruit me? That's a joke.

893
00:49:41.077 --> 00:49:43.546
First thing he did was
send me into the URL.

894
00:49:43.579 --> 00:49:46.016
Said I needed to toughen up.

895
00:49:46.048 --> 00:49:48.351
That's one hell of a
way to cut your teeth.

896
00:49:48.384 --> 00:49:49.619
Always knew he was scared.

897
00:49:49.652 --> 00:49:51.086
Scared of what?

898
00:49:51.119 --> 00:49:52.054
Of me.

899
00:49:52.088 --> 00:49:53.765
Now you're delusional.
Monk wouldn't be afraid

900
00:49:53.789 --> 00:49:55.557
of some punk beating him.

901
00:49:55.590 --> 00:49:57.594
What if that punk already had?

902
00:49:57.626 --> 00:49:58.704
So what the hell
happened to you?

903
00:49:58.728 --> 00:50:02.164
URL happened to me.
End of story.

904
00:50:02.197 --> 00:50:06.402
Good evening, good man.
We're here to see Link.

905
00:50:06.436 --> 00:50:08.071
Links not here.

906
00:50:08.103 --> 00:50:11.173
Really? Okay, he said
that he'd be here.

907
00:50:11.206 --> 00:50:15.545
He asked me to give
him this rock.

908
00:50:25.621 --> 00:50:27.456
Dude, where the hell
are we going?

909
00:50:27.489 --> 00:50:28.657
You'll see.

910
00:50:28.690 --> 00:50:31.460
Um, this might be a stupid
question, but what would have

911
00:50:31.494 --> 00:50:33.463
happened If you
were throwing paper?

912
00:50:33.496 --> 00:50:35.699
If you can't beat him? You
shouldn't be here.

913
00:51:22.210 --> 00:51:23.445
Hey!

914
00:51:23.478 --> 00:51:25.447
Logan Carter.

915
00:51:25.481 --> 00:51:27.617
Hello Link. It's been a
long time.

916
00:51:27.650 --> 00:51:30.452
Not long enough. I
thought I was clear.

917
00:51:30.485 --> 00:51:33.123
I wasn't to see your
face around here anymore.

918
00:51:33.155 --> 00:51:35.358
Well, I'm sure that's cause last
time I seen my face it

919
00:51:35.391 --> 00:51:37.626
was pretty fucked up.

920
00:51:37.659 --> 00:51:39.528
My surgeon,

921
00:51:39.561 --> 00:51:42.531
you should give him,
a call. I'll make this

922
00:51:42.565 --> 00:51:45.367
short Link. I need a
ticket to the big dance.

923
00:51:45.400 --> 00:51:46.802
I need you to give it to me.

924
00:51:46.835 --> 00:51:48.670
And why would I do that?

925
00:51:48.704 --> 00:51:51.474
Because I know it eats you up
inside knowing that besides.

926
00:51:51.507 --> 00:51:56.146
Monk - I am the one person
you can't beat.

927
00:51:56.179 --> 00:51:58.615
So, I'm giving you the
chance to reconcile.

928
00:51:58.648 --> 00:52:01.784
And what do you propose?

929
00:52:01.817 --> 00:52:03.286
Five on five.

930
00:52:03.318 --> 00:52:05.889
Each player throws once,
first team to three.

931
00:52:05.922 --> 00:52:09.159
We win, you give us
the invitation.

932
00:52:09.192 --> 00:52:10.760
And when you lose?

933
00:52:10.793 --> 00:52:13.363
You give us to the dogs.

934
00:52:16.532 --> 00:52:19.434
I'm gonna fuck you up.

935
00:52:19.467 --> 00:52:22.571
Sorry, Link, you're
just not my type.

936
00:52:22.605 --> 00:52:25.876
Five minutes.

937
00:52:28.643 --> 00:52:33.248
Give us to the dogs? That's the
best you could come up with?

938
00:52:33.282 --> 00:52:37.253
Not do your laundry for a month
or maintain the impeccable

939
00:52:37.286 --> 00:52:40.722
quality of this fine
establishment. No Logan.

940
00:52:40.755 --> 00:52:44.326
What you do if you lose?
Let me think about that.

941
00:52:44.360 --> 00:52:46.963
I know how about feeding
us to the fucking dogs!

942
00:52:46.996 --> 00:52:49.731
He wouldn't have gone
for it otherwise!

943
00:52:49.764 --> 00:52:53.502
Relax. I've got a plan.

944
00:52:55.771 --> 00:52:57.340
Alright, girls, listen up.

945
00:52:57.373 --> 00:52:59.213
Judging by the way your
asses are all puckered,

946
00:52:59.242 --> 00:53:01.277
I assume that you're
scared shitless.

947
00:53:01.309 --> 00:53:03.346
I think that would
be a fair assessment.

948
00:53:03.378 --> 00:53:04.746
Oh, you do, do you?

949
00:53:04.780 --> 00:53:06.749
You know what else would
be a fair assessment?

950
00:53:06.782 --> 00:53:08.293
Your new nickname is
going to be Puppy Chow

951
00:53:08.317 --> 00:53:09.885
if you don't
stop interrupting me.

952
00:53:09.918 --> 00:53:11.653
Please don't hurt me.

953
00:53:11.686 --> 00:53:14.824
Alright, as I was saying,
contrary to what you probably

954
00:53:14.856 --> 00:53:18.628
heard, RPS is not a game
mastered by chance, habits

955
00:53:18.661 --> 00:53:21.563
or tricks, but by fear.

956
00:53:21.597 --> 00:53:23.333
You think Monk goes
around memorizing

957
00:53:23.365 --> 00:53:24.967
every little thing
everyone does?

958
00:53:25.001 --> 00:53:26.878
Shaves his head, dresses
like a ninja and acts like

959
00:53:26.902 --> 00:53:29.371
a fucking ghost because it
gets him laid?

960
00:53:29.405 --> 00:53:32.575
Fuck no. He does it
to control the fear.

961
00:53:32.608 --> 00:53:36.246
If he controls the fear.
He controls you.

962
00:53:36.278 --> 00:53:37.480
Are you getting any of this?

963
00:53:37.512 --> 00:53:38.648
- No.

964
00:53:38.681 --> 00:53:39.791
You watch your heartbeat
right now?

965
00:53:39.815 --> 00:53:40.648
What?

966
00:53:40.682 --> 00:53:42.451
152 beats per minute,
what's yours?

967
00:53:42.485 --> 00:53:43.452
I don't know.

968
00:53:43.485 --> 00:53:44.453
164.

969
00:53:44.487 --> 00:53:45.355
How do you know that?

970
00:53:45.387 --> 00:53:47.523
I can see it, cause
you're all afraid.

971
00:53:47.556 --> 00:53:48.858
Hey, it's time.

972
00:53:48.891 --> 00:53:52.394
Look, it's really simple.
A steady heartbeat means

973
00:53:52.427 --> 00:53:53.596
there's nothing left to do.

974
00:53:53.628 --> 00:53:55.731
So you're throwing rock.
If your pulse pulses

975
00:53:55.764 --> 00:53:58.701
just before the moment
of impact, you're unsure

976
00:53:58.733 --> 00:54:01.336
and most likely throwing paper.

977
00:54:01.369 --> 00:54:03.739
Now, if your pulse spikes,
you're being aggressive

978
00:54:03.773 --> 00:54:05.807
and throwing scissors. But I
wouldn't know any of

979
00:54:05.840 --> 00:54:08.677
this if I can't
see your pulse. Your neck

980
00:54:09.045 --> 00:54:13.682
your wrist, your hand. They
all, give you a way. So calm

981
00:54:14.150 --> 00:54:17.552
the fuck down. What do you
think the dogs are for?

982
00:54:17.585 --> 00:54:19.354
The dogs are working.

983
00:54:19.387 --> 00:54:21.891
What you're saying is, not only
can you see our heart rate

984
00:54:21.923 --> 00:54:24.494
but what we're going to throw
because of it?

985
00:54:24.527 --> 00:54:25.961
Now Carter!

986
00:54:25.994 --> 00:54:28.030
So any questions before
we start?

987
00:54:28.063 --> 00:54:31.867
Um yeah, if we shit our pants
do we get disqualified?

988
00:54:31.900 --> 00:54:36.905
No. I think you're good.
Anything else? Good come here.

989
00:54:37.873 --> 00:54:40.510
Try not to screw this up.

990
00:54:55.458 --> 00:54:57.293
Whoo!

991
00:54:57.992 --> 00:54:59.795
You, get in.

992
00:55:07.603 --> 00:55:08.603
Yes!

993
00:55:11.239 --> 00:55:14.009
You got to be fucking
kidding me.

994
00:55:15.677 --> 00:55:17.646
Yes!

995
00:55:21.916 --> 00:55:23.752
Go.

996
00:55:33.461 --> 00:55:34.931
Yes!

997
00:55:45.074 --> 00:55:49.979
This envelope. Your
precious little invitation.

998
00:55:50.012 --> 00:55:52.615
But that's as close as you're
going to get to it.

999
00:55:52.648 --> 00:55:54.016
I'm scared.

1000
00:55:54.048 --> 00:55:56.018
Any last requests?

1001
00:55:56.050 --> 00:55:58.855
Yeah. Try not to whine
like a little bitch

1002
00:55:58.887 --> 00:56:02.659
after I finish slapping
the shit out of you.

1003
00:56:15.971 --> 00:56:20.476
Better luck next time, Link.

1004
00:56:34.523 --> 00:56:39.695
Oh, Holy crap that was the
craziest thing I've ever seen.

1005
00:56:39.728 --> 00:56:41.831
Guys, did you realize
what just happened?

1006
00:56:41.864 --> 00:56:44.099
Uh, yeah we almost got killed.

1007
00:56:45.166 --> 00:56:46.201
Man, what a rush!

1008
00:56:46.235 --> 00:56:47.979
Logan what you did back there?
That was awesome!

1009
00:56:48.003 --> 00:56:49.079
- That was great.
- Yeah, yeah.

1010
00:56:49.103 --> 00:56:51.573
Thank me when we're walking away
with Monk's trophy.

1011
00:56:51.606 --> 00:56:52.541
Oh seriously.

1012
00:56:52.574 --> 00:56:54.119
No doubt. But come on.
We got to do something.

1013
00:56:54.143 --> 00:56:55.577
We got to celebrate!

1014
00:56:55.610 --> 00:56:56.778
Yes!, yes!

1015
00:56:56.811 --> 00:56:58.681
I'm down what'd you
have in mind?

1016
00:57:07.755 --> 00:57:12.127
Hey guys, me again. Tonight's
episode is one near and dear

1017
00:57:12.161 --> 00:57:15.197
to my heart. This shows for
all you out there who's

1018
00:57:15.231 --> 00:57:17.700
ever been picked on, stepped on
slapped around, or been

1019
00:57:17.733 --> 00:57:18.934
gang banged.

1020
00:57:18.967 --> 00:57:21.837
Tonight I want you to stand
proud, raise up your flaccid,

1021
00:57:21.871 --> 00:57:24.539
misused middle finger and give a
Fuck You to all those

1022
00:57:24.572 --> 00:57:25.841
assholes of the world.

1023
00:57:25.875 --> 00:57:29.010
DareYouToPissOn proudly
presents, Bully Me This.

1024
00:57:29.043 --> 00:57:32.781
Come on. Hand me the
thing. Hurry up.

1025
00:57:33.181 --> 00:57:34.783
I hope you're right about this.

1026
00:57:34.817 --> 00:57:39.621
When are you boys,
ever going to learn?

1027
00:57:41.623 --> 00:57:43.225
There you go.

1028
00:57:43.492 --> 00:57:45.862
Tonight's forecast,
ladies and gentlemen

1029
00:57:45.894 --> 00:57:49.798
a hundred percent chance
of rain.

1030
00:57:49.831 --> 00:57:51.833
Hollywood here I come.

1031
00:57:51.867 --> 00:57:53.669
Academy Awards baby.

1032
00:57:55.804 --> 00:57:57.507
Come on we got to go.
We got to go.

1033
00:57:57.539 --> 00:57:58.942
Got ya.

1034
00:58:08.751 --> 00:58:11.888
Don't worry, I know the
dude behind the bar. It's fine.

1035
00:58:11.920 --> 00:58:13.889
This is cool, dude.

1036
00:58:16.858 --> 00:58:18.927
So, tell me, mate, who
are these fuckers?

1037
00:58:18.960 --> 00:58:21.063
My team.

1038
00:58:21.931 --> 00:58:24.166
Gee, sorry mate.

1039
00:58:24.199 --> 00:58:26.235
Hey, what's with the accent?

1040
00:58:26.268 --> 00:58:27.268
What accent?

1041
00:58:28.204 --> 00:58:30.606
Guys, is it bad that
I feel absolutely no

1042
00:58:30.639 --> 00:58:31.916
remorse for what we
did to Jordan?

1043
00:58:31.940 --> 00:58:34.309
Hell no. Let him soak in it.

1044
00:58:34.342 --> 00:58:35.342
Loser.

1045
00:58:37.880 --> 00:58:39.256
Hey, Cheddar, if we
win what are you going

1046
00:58:39.280 --> 00:58:40.849
to do with your half
of the money?

1047
00:58:40.882 --> 00:58:43.685
School. My scholarships
won't last forever.

1048
00:58:43.719 --> 00:58:46.021
Tug, get them some milk
and cookies.

1049
00:58:46.054 --> 00:58:47.623
I'll have what he's having.

1050
00:58:47.655 --> 00:58:48.824
No. Milk and cookies.

1051
00:58:48.856 --> 00:58:50.101
I'm twenty-one and
over, it's cool, right.

1052
00:58:50.125 --> 00:58:51.893
Milk and cookies.

1053
00:58:51.927 --> 00:58:54.262
Whatever, Rerun what about you?
Film, School?

1054
00:58:54.295 --> 00:58:56.031
Fifty K? Hmm, let
me think about this.

1055
00:58:56.065 --> 00:58:58.768
Pay someone to show me how to
make some lame movies

1056
00:58:58.800 --> 00:59:01.170
or fund one my own. No way man.

1057
00:59:01.202 --> 00:59:03.122
This cat's Kevin Smithing
his career all the way.

1058
00:59:04.273 --> 00:59:05.641
What about you Fritzy?

1059
00:59:05.673 --> 00:59:07.208
Amsterdam. I think

1060
00:59:07.242 --> 00:59:10.179
I got a shot at getting
laid in Amsterdam.

1061
00:59:10.211 --> 00:59:11.179
What?

1062
00:59:11.213 --> 00:59:12.381
What about you, Hollywood?

1063
00:59:12.414 --> 00:59:14.850
I think I give it to my mom.
She's really helping me out.

1064
00:59:14.882 --> 00:59:16.117
And I would-

1065
00:59:16.150 --> 00:59:19.654
- What?
- Mama's boy.

1066
00:59:19.688 --> 00:59:22.057
Get out of here. Get
out of here.

1067
00:59:22.090 --> 00:59:24.659
You guys are whack.
What about you, Logan?

1068
00:59:24.693 --> 00:59:28.197
I don't know. I guess I'd
finally use half of it

1069
00:59:28.230 --> 00:59:30.733
to move out my grandfather's
house and give the

1070
00:59:30.766 --> 00:59:32.902
other half to the United Negro
College Fund.

1071
00:59:34.335 --> 00:59:35.303
Are you serious?

1072
00:59:35.336 --> 00:59:37.206
What?

1073
00:59:37.239 --> 00:59:40.108
United Negro College Fund.

1074
00:59:41.175 --> 00:59:43.913
Stop eating all the. Cookies.

1075
00:59:43.945 --> 00:59:45.914
You are crazy.

1076
01:00:14.876 --> 01:00:17.913
Nice Giraffe, Anus.

1077
01:00:39.835 --> 01:00:41.871
What time do you call
this? You're late.

1078
01:00:41.903 --> 01:00:42.905
What?

1079
01:00:42.938 --> 01:00:44.073
We got to go. Come on.

1080
01:00:44.106 --> 01:00:46.042
Shut up.

1081
01:00:53.916 --> 01:00:56.018
Alright, throw that.
Throw that back there.

1082
01:00:56.050 --> 01:00:57.119
Hey you.

1083
01:00:57.152 --> 01:00:58.753
Valerie, hey.

1084
01:00:58.786 --> 01:01:00.088
So, you're off, huh?

1085
01:01:00.121 --> 01:01:01.824
Yeah, we're on our way.

1086
01:01:01.856 --> 01:01:04.759
Well, I though I'd come by to
wish you. Good luck.

1087
01:01:04.793 --> 01:01:06.829
Thanks, you know, we wouldn't
even be here if it

1088
01:01:06.862 --> 01:01:09.065
wasn't for you being you.

1089
01:01:09.097 --> 01:01:10.398
Hey, Anus!

1090
01:01:10.431 --> 01:01:13.101
Uh. Uh.

1091
01:01:13.135 --> 01:01:15.037
Hey, you better wrap
this up quick.

1092
01:01:15.070 --> 01:01:16.914
Look I go, but you think when I
get back we could

1093
01:01:16.938 --> 01:01:17.940
pick this up right here?

1094
01:01:17.972 --> 01:01:19.307
Sure, I'd like that.

1095
01:01:19.340 --> 01:01:22.043
Okay. I'm sorry. I
got to go. Sorry. Sorry.

1096
01:01:22.077 --> 01:01:23.279
I'm going to kill you.

1097
01:01:23.311 --> 01:01:24.279
Oy!

1098
01:01:24.313 --> 01:01:25.314
Ow!

1099
01:01:25.347 --> 01:01:27.416
Oy! What the fuck you doing?

1100
01:01:27.449 --> 01:01:28.818
Oh shit.

1101
01:01:28.851 --> 01:01:31.086
Fucking pussy. Come on!

1102
01:01:31.119 --> 01:01:34.456
Yeah! Run Davies,
you little bitch!

1103
01:01:42.764 --> 01:01:44.799
Good morning sports fans and

1104
01:01:44.833 --> 01:01:46.144
welcome to the home of the
15th Annual.

1105
01:01:46.168 --> 01:01:49.070
Rock, Paper, Scissors World,
Championship.

1106
01:01:49.103 --> 01:01:51.873
Over the next two days almost
300 players from around

1107
01:01:51.907 --> 01:01:55.144
the country and around
the world will face off

1108
01:01:55.177 --> 01:01:57.480
in a sports showdown that is
sure to shake the earth from

1109
01:01:57.512 --> 01:02:02.284
the lights of Los Angeles to
the frost of Bangor, Maine.

1110
01:02:02.317 --> 01:02:06.355
Today 64 teams will face off
in a grueling test of mental

1111
01:02:06.387 --> 01:02:10.291
toughness and physical stamina
as they try to stay alive

1112
01:02:10.324 --> 01:02:13.294
and make it into tomorrow's
semi -final match.

1113
01:02:13.327 --> 01:02:17.166
Now, the rules are simple.
Each team must win three

1114
01:02:17.199 --> 01:02:20.469
of five sets to win the match
and move on to the next

1115
01:02:20.501 --> 01:02:24.507
round. Now without further
ado, let's throw it over to.

1116
01:02:24.539 --> 01:02:27.842
Jelly Kane and meet some of our
contestants Jelly.

1117
01:02:27.876 --> 01:02:31.380
Thank you Case. Well strap on
tight sports fans because

1118
01:02:31.413 --> 01:02:34.150
in just a few days we're all
going to have the pleasure

1119
01:02:34.182 --> 01:02:38.320
of watching someone do this for
a quarter of a million dollars.

1120
01:02:38.353 --> 01:02:42.324
Strap in Jelly, right?
Strap in tight?

1121
01:02:42.356 --> 01:02:46.394
Strap in right. Who will it be
well for starters let's meet

1122
01:02:46.427 --> 01:02:48.096
some of our contestants.

1123
01:02:48.130 --> 01:02:49.832
Hi, I'm dolly of the paper dolls

1124
01:02:49.864 --> 01:02:53.368
and I play rock-paper-scissors
because it gets me hot.

1125
01:02:54.402 --> 01:02:59.107
I'm Dread of Team Nemesis.

1126
01:02:59.141 --> 01:03:02.110
And what's your name sir?

1127
01:03:04.012 --> 01:03:06.423
We're Katey and Karey-from Team
Gemini andy we bring double the

1128
01:03:06.447 --> 01:03:07.817
trouble.

1129
01:03:07.849 --> 01:03:10.286
Your name sir?

1130
01:03:11.586 --> 01:03:13.956
Private Pryde here
with the Mighty Privates.

1131
01:03:13.989 --> 01:03:15.523
Let me tell you
something. Victory,

1132
01:03:15.556 --> 01:03:16.657
It belong to us.

1133
01:03:16.692 --> 01:03:20.028
My friends call me Bones and the
reason I play Rock Paper.

1134
01:03:20.061 --> 01:03:21.539
Scissors is because it's safer
than flying

1135
01:03:21.563 --> 01:03:24.500
headfirst into a blackhole.

1136
01:03:24.932 --> 01:03:28.403
- Rock-paper-scissors. Boom

1137
01:03:28.436 --> 01:03:29.971
Casey, I'm not sure

1138
01:03:30.005 --> 01:03:33.509
which team he's with
no. No, but, uh, could you

1139
01:03:33.541 --> 01:03:36.511
send some soap down
this way, please.

1140
01:03:36.545 --> 01:03:38.614
I'm Scissorella from
Team Sonic Doom and

1141
01:03:38.646 --> 01:03:42.384
I'm going to skate over
the competition.

1142
01:03:42.416 --> 01:03:45.453
And of course, as always we've
got Team Nemesis, led by their

1143
01:03:45.487 --> 01:03:49.925
8 time MVP, The Monk, and
newcomers this year,

1144
01:03:49.958 --> 01:03:53.028
The Butt Fuckers.

1145
01:03:53.429 --> 01:03:57.566
The BuckFutters,
sorry. Uh, back to you, Casey.

1146
01:03:57.599 --> 01:04:00.936
Uh, thank you, Jelly,
and, uh, that's a reminder

1147
01:04:00.969 --> 01:04:04.139
to all you kids out
there stay in school.

1148
01:04:07.608 --> 01:04:09.478
Nice Unies, Ched.
That's pretty catchy.

1149
01:04:09.510 --> 01:04:14.449
Mr. Flaherty, so nice
of you to join us.

1150
01:04:15.250 --> 01:04:19.420
I'm glad our earlier
altercation, did not bear you

1151
01:04:19.454 --> 01:04:21.957
any unnecessary misfortune.

1152
01:04:21.989 --> 01:04:23.958
You kiss your mother
with that mouth, Monk?

1153
01:04:23.992 --> 01:04:27.129
I heard that the best
rock thrower in the

1154
01:04:27.161 --> 01:04:31.500
world was here. All
that wankings paid off.

1155
01:04:31.532 --> 01:04:35.971
Logan. Link told me you
were looking for a team

1156
01:04:36.003 --> 01:04:40.208
I told him there wasn't anyone
stupid enough to take you in.

1157
01:04:40.242 --> 01:04:43.278
Apparently, I was wrong.

1158
01:04:43.311 --> 01:04:47.148
Apparently, you were,
and if you get in my way

1159
01:04:47.181 --> 01:04:50.985
again you hairless fuck. I'm
going to drag you to a bridge,

1160
01:04:51.018 --> 01:04:54.122
slit you from here to here, and
use your intestines as a

1161
01:04:54.155 --> 01:04:56.090
bungee cord.

1162
01:04:56.123 --> 01:05:01.129
How poetic. Nemesis, meditate.

1163
01:05:08.170 --> 01:05:11.173
Come on. We've got
a game to play.

1164
01:05:13.507 --> 01:05:16.477
ButtFuckers? I'm not
wearing this.

1165
01:05:16.510 --> 01:05:19.547
Ladies and Gentleman, not
since the Trojan War have I

1166
01:05:19.581 --> 01:05:22.418
seen so many fierce
competitors assembled on one

1167
01:05:22.451 --> 01:05:25.320
single Battlefield. And if you
like epic battles,

1168
01:05:25.353 --> 01:05:28.256
then stay tuned
sports fans because this war

1169
01:05:28.289 --> 01:05:31.326
will be one for the ages.
And now, for

1170
01:05:31.360 --> 01:05:33.437
the start of the tournament,
let's throw it downstairs

1171
01:05:33.461 --> 01:05:36.532
to the game floor, where the
50th annual rock-paper-scissors

1172
01:05:36.565 --> 01:05:39.534
tournament is about to begin.

1173
01:06:48.836 --> 01:06:51.340
Like walking into a
massage parlor for the first time,

1174
01:06:51.373 --> 01:06:54.777
you never know what's
going to happen.

1175
01:06:54.809 --> 01:06:57.712
Ladies Report to the dance floor.

1176
01:07:10.391 --> 01:07:11.592
One, two, three.

1177
01:07:11.626 --> 01:07:14.363
BUCKFUTTERS!

1178
01:07:17.431 --> 01:07:21.169
And Monk goes with a
sharp scissors to take the lead!

1179
01:07:27.876 --> 01:07:31.247
Ooh, what a nice paper that was.
Looked like Foolscap.

1180
01:07:43.190 --> 01:07:44.625
Get a tetanus shot!

1181
01:07:44.659 --> 01:07:47.296
He was cut down by those
scissors.

1182
01:08:08.849 --> 01:08:11.652
After one of the most
grueling first rounds, this announcer

1183
01:08:11.686 --> 01:08:14.722
has witnessed in many a year
inundated with bone crushing

1184
01:08:14.755 --> 01:08:18.659
rocks, slashing scissors,
slicing paper, we're set

1185
01:08:18.693 --> 01:08:21.329
to kick off the second round.

1186
01:08:30.704 --> 01:08:34.342
These guys are sweating like
Mike Tyson at a spelling bee.

1187
01:08:38.747 --> 01:08:41.550
This RPS tournament is brought
to you by Toxic-

1188
01:08:41.582 --> 01:08:44.586
what doesn't kill you,
makes you stronger.

1189
01:09:01.737 --> 01:09:03.704
Dude, you got to stop
drinking that dude.

1190
01:09:03.738 --> 01:09:04.673
You don't look so good.

1191
01:09:04.706 --> 01:09:08.444
Hey, be careful. That's
Link's brother, Fence.

1192
01:09:12.413 --> 01:09:15.884
Fence? What's his
mom's name, Chain?

1193
01:09:18.353 --> 01:09:22.358
Players ready? Engage!

1194
01:09:23.591 --> 01:09:26.929
Oh! That is absolutely
disgusting.

1195
01:09:39.774 --> 01:09:43.479
1, 2, 3 BuckFutters!

1196
01:10:00.962 --> 01:10:03.632
Engage.

1197
01:10:10.904 --> 01:10:14.442
Great Caesar's ghost,
what determination!

1198
01:10:45.673 --> 01:10:49.345
Nice rock, man it takes
a lot of rocks to do it.

1199
01:11:04.958 --> 01:11:06.929
Engage.

1200
01:11:07.529 --> 01:11:09.498
Winner!

1201
01:11:09.530 --> 01:11:10.832
Yes! Huddle up, huddle up.

1202
01:11:10.864 --> 01:11:12.833
So it's come down to this,
ladies and gentlemen.

1203
01:11:12.867 --> 01:11:16.305
Three teams are already
in and the BuckFutters

1204
01:11:16.337 --> 01:11:19.041
are one set away from
joining them in tomorrows

1205
01:11:19.073 --> 01:11:22.710
semi-final match Jelly, what
do you have for us?

1206
01:11:22.743 --> 01:11:26.447
Thank you Casey. Well,
Three teams are already in

1207
01:11:26.480 --> 01:11:29.751
and the BuckFutters are a set
away from joining them

1208
01:11:29.783 --> 01:11:32.386
in tomorrow's semifinal match.

1209
01:11:32.420 --> 01:11:34.722
All right, Jelly,
thank you very much.

1210
01:11:34.756 --> 01:11:36.557
I might've already mentioned
that anything

1211
01:11:36.591 --> 01:11:39.728
else you'd like to add?

1212
01:11:39.761 --> 01:11:44.767
Uh, Thank you Case the fate of
this inexperienced team

1213
01:11:45.567 --> 01:11:49.404
and offensive juggernaut
lies in the

1214
01:11:49.436 --> 01:11:53.442
hands of rookie sensation,
Kelvin Hollywood Anus.

1215
01:11:54.775 --> 01:11:58.780
Anoose? Anoose. It's
fucking hot down here.

1216
01:12:02.917 --> 01:12:05.887
Okay. Jelly. Thank
you very much and good

1217
01:12:05.920 --> 01:12:08.056
luck with the unemployment line.

1218
01:12:08.088 --> 01:12:10.425
Okay Hollywood, just finish this
guy up and get us

1219
01:12:10.457 --> 01:12:14.462
out of here. You got this?

1220
01:12:15.262 --> 01:12:17.798
He looks tired. I
got this. I got it.

1221
01:12:17.832 --> 01:12:21.837
Get him! Come on Hollywood!
Finish him.

1222
01:12:22.636 --> 01:12:25.440
Players ready?

1223
01:12:27.809 --> 01:12:29.911
Look at these titans
stare each other down.

1224
01:12:29.944 --> 01:12:33.914
I've never seen anything
like it.

1225
01:12:33.948 --> 01:12:35.717
Engage.

1226
01:12:35.750 --> 01:12:36.752
Winner.

1227
01:12:36.784 --> 01:12:38.420
Engage.

1228
01:12:38.453 --> 01:12:39.421
Tie.

1229
01:12:39.453 --> 01:12:41.055
Engage.

1230
01:12:41.088 --> 01:12:42.657
Winner.

1231
01:12:42.689 --> 01:12:44.024
Engage.

1232
01:12:44.057 --> 01:12:45.426
Tie.

1233
01:12:45.460 --> 01:12:46.728
Engage.

1234
01:12:46.761 --> 01:12:48.096
Tie.

1235
01:12:48.128 --> 01:12:49.797
Engage.

1236
01:12:49.831 --> 01:12:51.699
Winner.

1237
01:12:51.733 --> 01:12:53.869
He's done it and
the BuckFutters are through

1238
01:12:53.902 --> 01:12:54.935
to the semi-finals.

1239
01:12:54.969 --> 01:12:57.939
Move on to the semi-final.

1240
01:12:57.971 --> 01:13:02.476
Here we come! Monk,
we are coming for you!

1241
01:13:02.510 --> 01:13:05.079
But it's not over yet. So
don't forget sports fans

1242
01:13:05.113 --> 01:13:07.481
to join us back
here tomorrow where,

1243
01:13:07.515 --> 01:13:10.952
one lucky team will be crowned,
the RPS King.

1244
01:13:10.984 --> 01:13:14.856
Good night everyone.

1245
01:13:16.157 --> 01:13:19.862
You know a fucking monkey
could do his job.

1246
01:13:21.863 --> 01:13:25.833
I feel like I'm talking to my
cell phone here sometimes.

1247
01:13:26.667 --> 01:13:30.604
Could we actually hire somebody
that has some talent?

1248
01:13:30.637 --> 01:13:32.715
I can't believe you dropped
those papers on that guy like

1249
01:13:32.739 --> 01:13:34.108
that. That was insane.

1250
01:13:34.141 --> 01:13:36.845
Well, save your insanity
for tomorrow night.

1251
01:13:36.877 --> 01:13:38.557
You're going to need
it when you face Monk.

1252
01:13:39.546 --> 01:13:40.546
Yeah, that's funny.

1253
01:13:41.983 --> 01:13:44.985
I'm being serious.

1254
01:13:45.019 --> 01:13:47.722
I can't believe I'm going
to say this.

1255
01:13:47.755 --> 01:13:51.626
If we make it to the finals,
you're our anchor. You got Monk.

1256
01:13:51.658 --> 01:13:54.829
Logan, You've been in this the
whole time just to beat Monk.

1257
01:13:54.863 --> 01:13:56.874
Don't you think I know that.
Don't you think I'd love to

1258
01:13:56.898 --> 01:13:59.801
defeat that arrogant prick.

1259
01:13:59.833 --> 01:14:04.005
But the fact is he knows
me, knows how too beat me.

1260
01:14:04.037 --> 01:14:06.240
He's counting on facing
me in the finals.

1261
01:14:06.274 --> 01:14:09.010
But, he's never faced
him, doesn't know him.

1262
01:14:09.042 --> 01:14:12.480
And let's face it. Anyone who
throws paper six times

1263
01:14:12.514 --> 01:14:15.484
in a row and wins might
actually scare him.

1264
01:14:15.516 --> 01:14:17.228
But what's to stop him from
just playing you

1265
01:14:17.252 --> 01:14:19.020
when you step up to the table?

1266
01:14:19.052 --> 01:14:22.189
He can't. For the finals you
have to submit your team roster

1267
01:14:22.222 --> 01:14:24.826
in the order they play
before the match begins

1268
01:14:24.859 --> 01:14:27.028
that way you can't jockey around
players trying to gain

1269
01:14:27.060 --> 01:14:28.563
an advantage.

1270
01:14:28.595 --> 01:14:32.233
That's right. I'll tell you
what. If I know Monk,

1271
01:14:32.266 --> 01:14:36.204
it's really going to piss him
off. Now get some sleep.

1272
01:14:46.046 --> 01:14:47.581
Don't worry about it.

1273
01:14:47.614 --> 01:14:49.583
You did a great
job out there today.

1274
01:14:49.617 --> 01:14:50.886
Didn't lose a set.

1275
01:14:50.918 --> 01:14:51.920
I had a good teacher.

1276
01:14:51.953 --> 01:14:54.957
Fucking right you did.

1277
01:14:58.960 --> 01:15:00.828
Listen Kel,
I never did thank you for

1278
01:15:00.862 --> 01:15:04.132
getting us this far. You know,
for getting us here.

1279
01:15:04.164 --> 01:15:08.302
I've been picked on my entire
life, my entire life. I've been

1280
01:15:08.336 --> 01:15:12.774
the dumb kid, fat kid, the
useless fuck

1281
01:15:12.806 --> 01:15:15.076
at the end of the bench.

1282
01:15:15.109 --> 01:15:17.679
I never had anyone pull
through for me before like

1283
01:15:17.712 --> 01:15:20.615
you have. So thanks.

1284
01:15:20.648 --> 01:15:22.851
You're a great friend, Fritz.

1285
01:15:22.884 --> 01:15:25.287
You looked out for Cheddar.
You looked out for Rerun.

1286
01:15:25.319 --> 01:15:27.255
You looked out for me.

1287
01:15:27.287 --> 01:15:28.889
I guess we make a pretty
good team, huh?

1288
01:15:28.922 --> 01:15:29.922
Yeah.

1289
01:15:33.860 --> 01:15:36.197
You really think we
can win tomorrow?

1290
01:15:36.229 --> 01:15:38.198
Don't know.

1291
01:15:38.231 --> 01:15:40.100
Monk's team is pretty
solid and of course they

1292
01:15:40.134 --> 01:15:43.203
have Einstein so I don't
even think Logan

1293
01:15:43.237 --> 01:15:45.806
has a chance there.

1294
01:15:45.840 --> 01:15:48.043
What about Monk?

1295
01:15:49.077 --> 01:15:50.110
Ow!

1296
01:15:50.144 --> 01:15:52.814
Son of a bitch Jordan
what the fuck?

1297
01:15:52.846 --> 01:15:57.184
Anus? Miss me? Think I was
going to let you piss in my

1298
01:15:57.984 --> 01:16:00.988
car, take my girl and walk away
into the fucking sunset huh?

1299
01:16:01.021 --> 01:16:02.791
Yeah, that was kind of the plan.

1300
01:16:02.823 --> 01:16:05.125
Well, there's a new plan
asshole. And it involves

1301
01:16:05.158 --> 01:16:07.728
using your mouth like
you did my car seat.

1302
01:16:07.761 --> 01:16:10.831
Let him go, dickhead.

1303
01:16:10.864 --> 01:16:12.367
Oh shit.

1304
01:16:12.399 --> 01:16:14.001
I fucking hate that kid.

1305
01:16:14.034 --> 01:16:16.203
Seriously, all the guardian
angels in the world and I

1306
01:16:16.237 --> 01:16:19.740
get the janitor?

1307
01:16:21.643 --> 01:16:24.145
Was that our fucking janitor?

1308
01:16:24.177 --> 01:16:27.082
I think that was. Fuck, dude,
how's your hand?

1309
01:16:27.114 --> 01:16:30.985
Fucking kills. You
mother fucking asshole!

1310
01:16:33.887 --> 01:16:36.256
We're screwed. We're
screwed. We're screwed.

1311
01:16:52.206 --> 01:16:54.976
Good afternoon sports
fans and welcome back.

1312
01:16:55.009 --> 01:16:58.712
Well, this is it. The final
day, the coupe de gras.

1313
01:16:58.746 --> 01:17:03.184
Four teams remain, but soon, it
will be down to two.

1314
01:17:03.216 --> 01:17:06.387
In pool A we have last year's
runner up, Sonic Doom

1315
01:17:06.421 --> 01:17:09.423
against last year's
champ, Team Nemesis.

1316
01:17:09.457 --> 01:17:13.828
And in pool B it's the Flying
Fuks squaring off against

1317
01:17:13.860 --> 01:17:17.297
this year's Cinderella
story The BuckFutters.

1318
01:17:17.331 --> 01:17:21.735
Bu if the BuckFutters are to
remain and continue on,

1319
01:17:21.769 --> 01:17:23.880
they're going to have
to overcome a few more obstacles

1320
01:17:23.904 --> 01:17:28.042
as we have just learned
Fritz Flaherty has sustained

1321
01:17:28.076 --> 01:17:30.744
an injury to his right hand
for further news on this

1322
01:17:30.778 --> 01:17:33.748
let's throw it over to Jelly
Kane, Jelly.

1323
01:17:33.780 --> 01:17:38.219
Thank you Case. Fritz Flowerty
is hurt very bad and it

1324
01:17:38.252 --> 01:17:42.090
will be difficult for him to
play with this hand. However,

1325
01:17:42.122 --> 01:17:46.260
he will be able to play with
this hand. As you know that

1326
01:17:47.060 --> 01:17:52.232
is a near impossibility in this
sport back to you Case.

1327
01:17:52.265 --> 01:17:56.236
Well, thank you Jelly. The stage
is set and the stakes are high.

1328
01:17:56.270 --> 01:18:00.108
So grab a seat folks and settle
in because tonight

1329
01:18:00.140 --> 01:18:02.242
promises to be a barn burner.

1330
01:18:04.479 --> 01:18:06.847
Jesus Christ! You
can barely move it.

1331
01:18:06.881 --> 01:18:08.258
How are you going to
compete with that?

1332
01:18:08.282 --> 01:18:11.953
I don't know, but
we're not forfeiting.

1333
01:18:11.985 --> 01:18:15.256
God damn right we're
not forfeiting. Fuck.

1334
01:18:15.288 --> 01:18:18.059
We're not going to win either.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,

1335
01:18:18.091 --> 01:18:20.327
Fuck!

1336
01:18:20.360 --> 01:18:23.698
Fuck!

1337
01:18:26.100 --> 01:18:29.471
Come on. Let's get
this over with. Fuck!

1338
01:18:42.783 --> 01:18:46.220
Players ready.

1339
01:18:46.887 --> 01:18:50.125
Engage.

1340
01:18:52.326 --> 01:18:55.395
Scissorella takes the first set,
and the Monk is simply

1341
01:18:55.429 --> 01:18:58.833
beside himself. As Nemesis finds
themselves down for the

1342
01:18:58.865 --> 01:19:02.103
first time in the tournament. So
sit tight and hook up those

1343
01:19:02.136 --> 01:19:05.140
colostomy bags sports fans
cause here we go.

1344
01:19:06.106 --> 01:19:09.144
Engage.

1345
01:19:10.877 --> 01:19:13.380
Look at this freak of nature
tear his opponent apart

1346
01:19:13.413 --> 01:19:15.849
as he stays unbeaten and brings
Nemesis from the brink

1347
01:19:15.882 --> 01:19:20.188
of elimination.

1348
01:19:20.488 --> 01:19:22.524
And Dread ties it up!

1349
01:19:22.556 --> 01:19:24.992
Leaving their fate in
the hands of the one

1350
01:19:25.025 --> 01:19:27.961
and only monk.

1351
01:19:27.994 --> 01:19:28.996
Winner.

1352
01:19:29.029 --> 01:19:31.198
He wins it again folks and
this underdog crowd

1353
01:19:31.231 --> 01:19:35.403
here, does not look happy.

1354
01:19:47.381 --> 01:19:50.051
It was him. He brought
Jordan here.

1355
01:19:50.083 --> 01:19:52.353
That bald fuck busted my hand!

1356
01:19:56.423 --> 01:19:57.891
Winner.

1357
01:20:05.932 --> 01:20:09.069
It doesn't look good folks after
a terrific start by Logan

1358
01:20:09.103 --> 01:20:12.073
Carter the BuckFutters are in a
hole that keeps getting bigger

1359
01:20:12.105 --> 01:20:15.309
as the three-fingered assassin
is shredding through the one

1360
01:20:15.342 --> 01:20:18.246
handed Flaherty. Is it paper?
Is it scissors?

1361
01:20:18.279 --> 01:20:19.848
I have no idea.

1362
01:20:19.881 --> 01:20:21.382
Winner.

1363
01:20:21.414 --> 01:20:23.217
Oh, and apparently,
neither does Flaherty

1364
01:20:23.251 --> 01:20:25.453
as the BuckFutters find
themselves, once again,

1365
01:20:25.485 --> 01:20:28.555
on the edge of elimination
with the rookie sensation

1366
01:20:28.588 --> 01:20:30.925
and weakest link still to go.

1367
01:20:30.957 --> 01:20:33.161
No way. Kelvin, you're next.

1368
01:20:33.194 --> 01:20:34.403
I thought you wanted me to
the anchor?

1369
01:20:34.427 --> 01:20:36.331
Yes, but that was until it was
down two to one.

1370
01:20:36.363 --> 01:20:38.608
We lose, we go home and there's
nothing for you to fucking

1371
01:20:38.632 --> 01:20:41.269
anchor then, is there?
Hence, you're up.

1372
01:20:41.301 --> 01:20:42.402
I can't go last.

1373
01:20:42.436 --> 01:20:44.481
And I can't give myself a decent
blowjob but that doesn't

1374
01:20:44.505 --> 01:20:46.074
stop me from
trying now, does it?

1375
01:20:46.106 --> 01:20:47.074
God, I hope so.

1376
01:20:47.108 --> 01:20:49.476
Look, you just worry about
winning right now.

1377
01:20:49.510 --> 01:20:52.413
And you get ready for when he
wins. Now come on get

1378
01:20:52.445 --> 01:20:54.414
in there. Let's do it. Come on,

1379
01:20:54.448 --> 01:20:56.951
Come on.

1380
01:20:56.984 --> 01:21:00.121
Players ready.

1381
01:21:00.154 --> 01:21:02.223
Engage.

1382
01:21:02.256 --> 01:21:03.224
Scissors.

1383
01:21:03.256 --> 01:21:04.224
Engage.

1384
01:21:04.257 --> 01:21:05.225
Win.

1385
01:21:05.259 --> 01:21:07.095
Engage.

1386
01:21:07.127 --> 01:21:09.162
Paper.

1387
01:21:11.332 --> 01:21:13.434
Rerun it's all up to you now,
ok. We take this and

1388
01:21:13.466 --> 01:21:14.510
we're in the finals. You got it?

1389
01:21:14.534 --> 01:21:15.368
I can't do this.

1390
01:21:15.403 --> 01:21:18.106
Pull it together. Gotta
do this. Okay

1391
01:21:18.139 --> 01:21:20.240
I can't, you guys. I can't.

1392
01:21:20.274 --> 01:21:21.409
Well hold on folks.

1393
01:21:21.442 --> 01:21:24.578
There seems to be something
wrong with the BuckFutters

1394
01:21:24.612 --> 01:21:28.983
last player. Seems that
the infamous pressure of

1395
01:21:29.015 --> 01:21:32.252
the RPS semi-final has taken
yet another victim.

1396
01:21:32.286 --> 01:21:33.520
He can't even move.

1397
01:21:33.554 --> 01:21:34.489
Then we fuckin' carry him there.

1398
01:21:34.521 --> 01:21:36.323
We put him up there
like this, it's over.

1399
01:21:36.356 --> 01:21:38.326
Well, we got to do something.

1400
01:21:38.359 --> 01:21:41.930
Come on, ideas.

1401
01:21:41.962 --> 01:21:43.264
Kelvin.

1402
01:21:43.296 --> 01:21:47.067
Come on. Come on.

1403
01:21:49.069 --> 01:21:54.041
Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. Rerun.

1404
01:21:54.074 --> 01:21:57.377
Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. Rerun.

1405
01:21:57.411 --> 01:22:01.381
Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. Rerun.

1406
01:22:01.414 --> 01:22:05.452
Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. Rerun.

1407
01:22:10.658 --> 01:22:14.663
Rerun. Rerun. Rerun. Rerun.

1408
01:22:22.269 --> 01:22:23.237
You hear that?

1409
01:22:23.270 --> 01:22:24.405
Yeah.

1410
01:22:24.438 --> 01:22:25.682
That's your name. They're
cheering for you out there.

1411
01:22:25.706 --> 01:22:27.007
They're cheering for you.

1412
01:22:27.041 --> 01:22:28.009
Yeah.

1413
01:22:28.042 --> 01:22:29.010
- You hear me?
- Yeah.

1414
01:22:29.042 --> 01:22:30.120
Alright, now this
is it, alright? There's no

1415
01:22:30.144 --> 01:22:33.280
stopping now! You start, and
you don't stop. All your

1416
01:22:33.314 --> 01:22:35.516
strength. All your power! All
your love!

1417
01:22:35.548 --> 01:22:36.984
- Everything you've got!
- Yeah.

1418
01:22:37.018 --> 01:22:39.119
To win you got to knock him out!
Punch and punch

1419
01:22:39.153 --> 01:22:40.263
till you can't punch no more!

1420
01:22:40.287 --> 01:22:41.255
Okay!

1421
01:22:41.287 --> 01:22:42.255
This is your whole life here!

1422
01:22:42.288 --> 01:22:43.256
Yeah, Yeah!

1423
01:22:43.289 --> 01:22:47.162
Yeah! Come on! Come on!

1424
01:22:48.295 --> 01:22:49.262
Come on!

1425
01:22:49.296 --> 01:22:50.465
Players, ready.

1426
01:22:50.497 --> 01:22:53.067
Engage.

1427
01:22:53.100 --> 01:22:54.702
Win, Engage.

1428
01:22:54.734 --> 01:22:57.270
Tie, Engage.

1429
01:22:57.304 --> 01:22:59.007
Engage.

1430
01:22:59.039 --> 01:23:02.042
Winner.

1431
01:23:02.076 --> 01:23:03.219
Well I've got to tell you folks,

1432
01:23:03.243 --> 01:23:06.079
in all my years
of broadcasting I've never

1433
01:23:06.113 --> 01:23:09.417
seen anything like this. If you
can appreciate a cinderella

1434
01:23:09.449 --> 01:23:13.688
story, if you believe in
miracles, if you ever want to

1435
01:23:13.720 --> 01:23:17.224
see David face the mighty
Goliath, then don't move

1436
01:23:17.257 --> 01:23:21.095
a muscle. Because in mere
moments perhaps the greatest

1437
01:23:21.127 --> 01:23:24.431
match in all of sport, Dare I
say, all of the world is about

1438
01:23:24.465 --> 01:23:26.100
to unfold.

1439
01:23:26.132 --> 01:23:28.668
And so it begins.

1440
01:23:49.556 --> 01:23:51.192
Ladies and Gentleman.

1441
01:23:51.225 --> 01:23:52.602
Welcome to the Rock,
Paper Scissors,

1442
01:23:52.626 --> 01:23:56.197
National Championship final
round. Let's bring out our

1443
01:23:56.229 --> 01:23:59.399
finalist teams, Team Nemesis.

1444
01:24:09.176 --> 01:24:11.145
Team BuckFutters.

1445
01:24:21.454 --> 01:24:24.425
Logan, don't worry

1446
01:24:24.457 --> 01:24:26.693
I'll make this as painless
as I possibly

1447
01:24:26.726 --> 01:24:31.398
can for you. If it gets
that far.

1448
01:24:31.431 --> 01:24:33.501
See you in the fucking
ring, Monk.

1449
01:24:33.533 --> 01:24:36.237
Let the final round
begin. Take your positions.

1450
01:24:42.877 --> 01:24:47.582
Player one, please.

1451
01:24:54.921 --> 01:24:56.590
Wait a minute, what's going on?

1452
01:24:56.623 --> 01:24:58.225
He's supposed to be the anchor.

1453
01:24:58.259 --> 01:25:00.261
I said I'd see you
in the ring, Monk.

1454
01:25:00.293 --> 01:25:02.329
Never said anything
about playing you, mate.

1455
01:25:02.363 --> 01:25:04.565
I'm sorry Mr. Monk, but my
list has Logan Carter

1456
01:25:04.597 --> 01:25:06.199
as the BuckFutters'
lead off man.

1457
01:25:06.233 --> 01:25:07.502
No he's supposed to play me!

1458
01:25:07.534 --> 01:25:09.436
Mr. Monk, my list says
otherwise. Now step back.

1459
01:25:09.470 --> 01:25:13.240
Walk away. Move on. Bye bye.

1460
01:25:13.274 --> 01:25:16.377
Players.

1461
01:25:16.409 --> 01:25:20.514
Players ready.

1462
01:25:21.548 --> 01:25:22.750
Engage.

1463
01:25:23.783 --> 01:25:25.819
Rock.

1464
01:25:25.853 --> 01:25:29.890
Tie. Engage.

1465
01:25:29.923 --> 01:25:32.159
Tie. Engage.

1466
01:25:32.193 --> 01:25:32.994
Rock.

1467
01:25:33.027 --> 01:25:34.561
Round one goes to
the BuckFutters.

1468
01:25:34.595 --> 01:25:37.865
And just like that the ghost of
RPS past flies in

1469
01:25:37.898 --> 01:25:42.737
and handily takes the first set
away with a crushing blow.

1470
01:25:43.002 --> 01:25:44.838
Alright he is pissed.

1471
01:25:44.872 --> 01:25:47.708
Alright now we know
monk is going last

1472
01:25:47.740 --> 01:25:50.411
let's hope to hell Einstein
goes forth because

1473
01:25:50.444 --> 01:25:52.914
if I'm going to get beat it
might as well go to a sure loss

1474
01:25:52.947 --> 01:25:56.384
so Cheddar, Rerun, one of you
two has to win in order to

1475
01:25:56.417 --> 01:26:01.389
give Kelvin a shot, got it?
Okay, let's do this.

1476
01:26:01.421 --> 01:26:03.723
One, two, three, BuckFutters!

1477
01:26:03.756 --> 01:26:05.393
Come on, Cheddar.
Get him. Get 'em!

1478
01:26:05.426 --> 01:26:08.729
- Come on!
- Come on, Cheddar.

1479
01:26:08.761 --> 01:26:10.597
Players ready.

1480
01:26:10.631 --> 01:26:11.631
Engage.

1481
01:26:13.367 --> 01:26:15.735
Scissors. Engage.

1482
01:26:15.769 --> 01:26:18.739
Paper. Engage.

1483
01:26:18.771 --> 01:26:21.742
Scissors. Engage.

1484
01:26:21.774 --> 01:26:22.809
Paper.

1485
01:26:22.842 --> 01:26:24.412
Round two goes to Nemesis.

1486
01:26:24.444 --> 01:26:25.445
Nemesis fights back

1487
01:26:25.479 --> 01:26:27.280
and the youngest
player in the tournament gets

1488
01:26:27.314 --> 01:26:30.384
paper slapped all the way
back to a 1-1 tie,

1489
01:26:30.417 --> 01:26:33.655
with three to go.

1490
01:26:34.787 --> 01:26:35.956
Players ready.

1491
01:26:35.989 --> 01:26:37.291
Engage.

1492
01:26:37.323 --> 01:26:40.527
Rock. Engage.

1493
01:26:40.560 --> 01:26:42.563
Scissors. Engage.

1494
01:26:42.595 --> 01:26:44.364
Scissors, engage.

1495
01:26:44.398 --> 01:26:48.769
Scissors, round goes
to Team Nemesis.

1496
01:26:48.801 --> 01:26:51.738
And here we go with the fate
of the tournament riding

1497
01:26:51.771 --> 01:26:56.543
on the captain, Fritz
Flaherty's damaged hand.

1498
01:26:56.577 --> 01:26:57.677
Sorry guys.

1499
01:26:57.712 --> 01:27:01.782
It's alright. You did your best.
Hey we all did, okay.

1500
01:27:01.814 --> 01:27:03.783
Come on, guys, this is retarded.

1501
01:27:03.817 --> 01:27:06.654
We made it to the finals okay.
And if I'm going to

1502
01:27:06.686 --> 01:27:08.665
lose I'm glad it's to that
unstoppable bastard over

1503
01:27:08.689 --> 01:27:12.326
there who doesn't even know he's
screwing us.

1504
01:27:12.359 --> 01:27:15.329
Now what's it going to be
captain? Do we forfeit?

1505
01:27:15.362 --> 01:27:17.273
Or do you wanna go down with the
ship left handed?

1506
01:27:17.297 --> 01:27:18.599
You're a fucking genius.

1507
01:27:18.631 --> 01:27:23.570
Well thank you but, down
with the ship it is.

1508
01:27:28.708 --> 01:27:30.810
Players ready.

1509
01:27:30.844 --> 01:27:33.681
Let's get retarded.

1510
01:27:34.715 --> 01:27:37.318
Ow!

1511
01:27:37.350 --> 01:27:38.618
Oh my god!

1512
01:27:38.652 --> 01:27:41.355
Players four, Team Nemesis
red card disqualification.

1513
01:27:41.387 --> 01:27:43.500
There's no ship going down!
There's no ship going down!

1514
01:27:43.524 --> 01:27:45.035
Ladies and gentlemen, I
don't believe it.

1515
01:27:45.059 --> 01:27:48.829
The Undefeated Nemesis
Juggernaut James Copeland

1516
01:27:48.862 --> 01:27:52.033
has just been red-carded out of
here for a spectacular,

1517
01:27:52.065 --> 01:27:55.001
right hook. Flaherty is up and
he looks all right.

1518
01:27:55.034 --> 01:27:56.537
You know you're nuts, right?

1519
01:27:56.569 --> 01:27:58.706
Now go kick his ass.

1520
01:27:58.738 --> 01:28:03.744
So it's come down to this. One
set, one match, one destiny.

1521
01:28:03.978 --> 01:28:08.783
A virtual unknown taking on the
most decorated athlete in.

1522
01:28:08.815 --> 01:28:13.420
RPS history. Could David defeat
the mighty Goliath again?

1523
01:28:14.421 --> 01:28:18.025
Well we're about to find out.

1524
01:28:27.100 --> 01:28:28.068
Players ready.

1525
01:28:28.101 --> 01:28:30.070
Five kids no job is pressure,

1526
01:28:30.104 --> 01:28:31.405
but this is close.

1527
01:28:31.438 --> 01:28:33.940
Engage.

1528
01:28:33.974 --> 01:28:36.577
Paper. Engage.

1529
01:28:36.609 --> 01:28:40.414
Paper. Engage.

1530
01:28:41.148 --> 01:28:42.882
Scissors.

1531
01:28:42.916 --> 01:28:45.886
It's the dreaded paper cut.

1532
01:28:45.918 --> 01:28:48.655
Engage.

1533
01:28:48.689 --> 01:28:52.560
Scissors.

1534
01:28:53.594 --> 01:28:57.765
It's time to lose Mr. Anus.

1535
01:28:59.432 --> 01:29:00.634
One more, one more.

1536
01:29:00.667 --> 01:29:04.405
Players ready.

1537
01:29:08.475 --> 01:29:12.480
Sorry to disappoint you Monk,
but I've already won.

1538
01:29:21.755 --> 01:29:24.158
You know it's funny
sometimes how things work out.

1539
01:29:24.190 --> 01:29:25.158
Engage.

1540
01:29:25.192 --> 01:29:27.994
How you could overcome
pretty much anything.

1541
01:29:28.028 --> 01:29:31.432
Sometimes in the most
unlikeliest ways.

1542
01:29:31.465 --> 01:29:34.402
Even when caught between
a hard place...

1543
01:29:34.435 --> 01:29:36.070
and a rock.

1544
01:29:36.103 --> 01:29:38.005
Rock wins!

1545
01:29:39.706 --> 01:29:42.476
Rock beats scissors!!
It's all over!

1546
01:29:42.509 --> 01:29:46.012
It's all over and just like
the bible tells me so,

1547
01:29:46.046 --> 01:29:49.750
little David topples the mighty
Goliath with the casting

1548
01:29:49.783 --> 01:29:54.054
of a single stone. Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.

1549
01:29:54.087 --> 01:29:58.826
Yeah baby, we did
it! Woohoo! Yes!

1550
01:30:04.131 --> 01:30:07.468
That is what the fuck I am
talking about! Yes!

1551
01:30:13.474 --> 01:30:16.610
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

1552
01:30:17.211 --> 01:30:20.748
Never trust anyone,
huh? This is it.

1553
01:30:32.559 --> 01:30:37.565
Now somebody get me to a
fucking buffet! Yeah! Wooh!

1554
01:30:59.853 --> 01:31:01.188
Well, you did it, dude.

1555
01:31:01.220 --> 01:31:03.756
Uh, uh. We did it.

1556
01:31:03.789 --> 01:31:04.968
You know, we're going
to miss you when

1557
01:31:04.992 --> 01:31:06.032
you go to Amsterdam right?

1558
01:31:06.059 --> 01:31:08.195
Yeah, well I was thinking maybe

1559
01:31:08.228 --> 01:31:09.663
I'd stick around for
a little bit,

1560
01:31:09.695 --> 01:31:10.663
- Really?
- Yeah.

1561
01:31:10.697 --> 01:31:11.664
Hey Fritz.

1562
01:31:11.698 --> 01:31:13.234
Hey.

1563
01:31:13.266 --> 01:31:16.103
Um, I forgot. I have to pick up
my little sister from dance

1564
01:31:16.136 --> 01:31:19.039
class at 7 tonight would you
mind coming

1565
01:31:19.072 --> 01:31:21.041
by around 8 o'clock instead?

1566
01:31:21.073 --> 01:31:23.743
8 is fine. Eight is great.

1567
01:31:23.777 --> 01:31:26.514
Eight is Enough. Eight
o'cock-clock,

1568
01:31:27.547 --> 01:31:28.615
Okay.

1569
01:31:28.649 --> 01:31:29.925
Don't forget to bring
your guitar.

1570
01:31:29.949 --> 01:31:31.719
Okay.

1571
01:31:31.752 --> 01:31:32.720
- Okay.
- See ye.

1572
01:31:32.752 --> 01:31:34.721
- See ya.
- Bye.

1573
01:31:37.090 --> 01:31:38.993
Dude what the hell was that?

1574
01:31:39.025 --> 01:31:40.226
What? It was nothing.

1575
01:31:40.260 --> 01:31:41.662
You can't play guitar.

1576
01:31:41.694 --> 01:31:43.229
Wait a minute. Last summer at

1577
01:31:43.262 --> 01:31:46.199
your uncle's place.
He's the musician, right?

1578
01:31:46.233 --> 01:31:49.770
Oh my god. That first
day of school? They broke

1579
01:31:49.802 --> 01:31:51.838
your guitar. Did you learn how
to. Play for her?

1580
01:31:51.872 --> 01:31:52.907
No.

1581
01:31:52.939 --> 01:31:56.609
Uh-huh. Well, try not to use
this one as a belt.

1582
01:31:56.643 --> 01:31:59.279
Well done, man. Well done.

1583
01:31:59.313 --> 01:32:01.315
You're all gonna be well done
when I fuck the shit

1584
01:32:01.347 --> 01:32:04.251
out of everyone.

1585
01:32:04.283 --> 01:32:05.985
God that felt good.

1586
01:32:06.019 --> 01:32:07.988
Dude, That was hot.

1587
01:32:08.020 --> 01:32:09.098
You should see her in my dreams.

1588
01:32:09.122 --> 01:32:11.091
No I didn't.

1589
01:32:11.123 --> 01:32:14.761
Hey, so am I going
to see online tonight?

1590
01:32:14.795 --> 01:32:18.164
Um, I don't know I was thinking
we'd take a night off today.

1591
01:32:18.198 --> 01:32:19.967
You know do something else.

1592
01:32:20.000 --> 01:32:21.268
What'd you have in mind?

1593
01:32:21.301 --> 01:32:24.872
I don't know something
like this.

1594
01:32:29.042 --> 01:32:32.280
I'll see you tonight. Bye boys.

1595
01:32:35.916 --> 01:32:39.153
Ooh.

1596
01:32:39.619 --> 01:32:41.988
Alright, So what are
we gonna do about this guy?

1597
01:32:42.021 --> 01:32:45.658
I got an idea. Somebody
get my camera.

1598
01:32:47.694 --> 01:32:49.730
Do it.

1599
01:32:49.762 --> 01:32:52.899
Oh, don't do it. Oh, God.

1600
01:32:54.100 --> 01:32:56.135
Oh, his mouth is open.

1601
01:32:56.168 --> 01:32:57.304
God.

1602
01:32:57.337 --> 01:32:59.673
♪ Got a lift down to
the edge of town ♪

1603
01:32:59.706 --> 01:33:01.976
♪ Where the merry-go-around
goes around and round ♪

1604
01:33:02.009 --> 01:33:04.110
♪ Way the sun shined on you face ♪

1605
01:33:04.144 --> 01:33:06.680
♪ Made me think
of a different place ♪

1606
01:33:06.712 --> 01:33:08.849
♪ Sticks and stones may
break your bones ♪

1607
01:33:08.881 --> 01:33:11.085
♪ But paper hearts always know ♪

1608
01:33:11.118 --> 01:33:13.320
♪ Teardrops are
the friendly folds ♪

1609
01:33:13.353 --> 01:33:15.922
♪ Your heart is my stereo ♪

1610
01:33:15.956 --> 01:33:18.960
♪ Woo oh oh woo oh oh oh ♪

1611
01:33:24.898 --> 01:33:27.134
♪ Got you and I want you
and your so damn funny ♪

1612
01:33:27.167 --> 01:33:29.370
♪ I go around town singing
you're my hunny ♪

1613
01:33:29.403 --> 01:33:31.805
♪ Smile on your face
is a shade of sunny ♪

1614
01:33:31.837 --> 01:33:34.340
♪ Your mine, all mine ♪

1615
01:33:34.373 --> 01:33:36.342
♪ Need you and I want
and you want me back ♪

1616
01:33:36.376 --> 01:33:38.846
♪ Want you and you need
me and you need me back ♪

1617
01:33:38.878 --> 01:33:41.047
♪ Need you, I want you
and you want me back ♪

1618
01:33:41.081 --> 01:33:44.085
♪ I want you and
you need me back ♪

1619
01:33:47.688 --> 01:33:49.890
♪ Got a lift down to the
edge of town ♪

1620
01:33:49.922 --> 01:33:52.225
♪ Where we walked around
till the sun went down ♪

1621
01:33:52.259 --> 01:33:54.328
♪ The way the moon
shined on your face ♪

1622
01:33:54.360 --> 01:33:56.896
♪ Made me think of outer space ♪

1623
01:33:56.930 --> 01:33:58.932
♪ I don't know
what you've been told ♪

1624
01:33:58.965 --> 01:34:01.135
♪ But your hands
can break this fold ♪

1625
01:34:01.167 --> 01:34:03.336
♪ My paper heart
is yours to hold ♪

1626
01:34:03.369 --> 01:34:06.006
♪ Feelin with your lovin soul ♪

1627
01:34:06.038 --> 01:34:09.009
♪ Whoa ah oh, Woo oh oh ♪

1628
01:34:14.814 --> 01:34:16.849
♪ We walked around till
the sun went down ♪

1629
01:34:16.882 --> 01:34:19.185
♪ And it was right there,
on the edge of town ♪

1630
01:34:19.219 --> 01:34:21.387
♪ You handed me that folded note ♪

1631
01:34:21.421 --> 01:34:23.923
♪ Kinda guessed what you
already wrote ♪

1632
01:34:23.957 --> 01:34:26.026
♪ Paper hearts wrote the start ♪

1633
01:34:26.059 --> 01:34:28.729
♪ Songs fore me to sing ♪

1634
01:34:32.431 --> 01:34:35.034
♪ My paper heart
is yours to keep ♪

1635
01:34:35.068 --> 01:34:37.704
♪ Now sing this song
and keep that beat ♪

1636
01:34:37.738 --> 01:34:40.374
♪ My heart is your stereo ♪

1637
01:34:40.407 --> 01:34:43.310
♪ Now, please don't let it slow ♪

1638
01:34:43.342 --> 01:34:46.813
♪ Whoa ah oh Whoa ah ah oh ♪

1639
01:34:52.819 --> 01:34:55.122
♪ Got you and I want you
and your so damn funny ♪

1640
01:34:55.154 --> 01:34:57.423
♪ I go around town
singing you're my hunny ♪

1641
01:34:57.457 --> 01:34:59.860
♪ Smile on your face,
is a shade of sunny ♪

1642
01:34:59.893 --> 01:35:02.429
♪ Your mine, all mine ♪

1643
01:35:02.462 --> 01:35:04.465
♪ Need you and I want
and you want me back ♪

1644
01:35:04.497 --> 01:35:07.067
♪ I want you and you need
me and you need me back ♪

1645
01:35:07.100 --> 01:35:09.236
♪ You love me and I love you
and you love me back ♪

1646
01:35:09.269 --> 01:35:13.274
♪ I love you and you love
me and I love you back ♪