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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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‎不…

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‎快來，倒數十秒了，快

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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‎-我們走吧
‎-我受不了，帕布羅

6
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:13,763
‎-你還好嗎？
‎-我糟透了

7
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,390
‎-為什麼？
‎-我很害怕

8
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,976
‎什麼意思？
‎這是你第二場Netflix特輯了

9
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‎-不會有事的
‎-我不想

10
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,646
‎我很害怕，兄弟

11
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‎太困難了，我辦不到

12
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‎不會，你已經練習三個月了

13
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,027
‎不會有事的，沒事的

14
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‎-專心
‎-好

15
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‎記得碧安卡剛上高中時
‎你跟她說了什麼？

16
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‎-說高中沒有意義
‎-不，是另一件事

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‎-我叫她翹課
‎-不是！

18
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‎她站在校門口，不肯進去
‎你看著她的眼睛說

19
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‎“小碧，勇氣不是沒有恐懼

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‎而是在恐懼的同時，好好面對挑戰”

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‎我沒有那樣說

22
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‎否則我就是個混蛋
‎因為我自己都不信

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‎深呼吸

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‎太困難了

25
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‎他們都已經付錢了

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‎不能拒絕了，我們已經簽約了

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‎數到三

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‎-一
‎-一

29
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‎-二…
‎-去吧

30
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‎都沒有人啊

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‎混帳東西

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‎好

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‎我可以畫出一千幅圖
‎表達孤獨對我的意義

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‎購物中心裡的一個小孩
‎孤零零地找著爸媽的蹤跡

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‎他迷路了，不知所措

36
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‎一個貝都因人穿越撒哈拉沙漠

37
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‎周遭都是沙子，只有太陽陪伴著他

38
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‎一艘帆船孤零零地在公海翻覆

39
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‎如此孤獨

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‎那艘帆船裡有一個小孩
‎周遭都是沙漠

41
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‎只有太陽陪伴著他
‎船艙裡有一個貝都因人

42
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:06,501
‎但你知道，對喜劇演員而言
‎寂寞是什麼嗎？

43
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‎就是這樣

44
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‎空無一人的劇院

45
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‎布宜諾斯艾利斯最厲害的劇院

46
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‎有1300個座位，但卻空無一人

47
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‎一個人都沒有
‎在疫情時期，我只有一個人

48
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‎周遭只有攝影機

49
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:23,560
‎在這個特輯中，你會聽到笑聲音效

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‎笑聲音效

51
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‎如果順利的話，你的笑聲會蓋過音效

52
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‎對孤獨的喜劇演員來說，罐頭笑聲

53
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‎就像一種順勢療法

54
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‎不能確定效用，但卻能讓我舒服一點

55
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‎你不懂我的感受

56
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‎天這麼冷，風這麼大

57
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‎我應該早已習慣了
‎我出生於布蘭卡港

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‎這座城市距離首都
‎也就是我現在所處的位置

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‎大約437公里

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‎布蘭卡港靠海，天氣冷，風又大

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‎布蘭卡港的風都是突然冒出來的

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‎突然之間，你的計畫就被打亂了

63
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‎我們這些土生土長的居民
‎習慣以45度角走路

64
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‎以免被風吹倒

65
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‎我家人是巴斯克人和義大利人
‎個性緊張又熱情

66
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‎我們剛好搆上中產階級的邊

67
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‎該說是四分之一產階級
‎沒有什麼多餘的錢

68
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‎我們在蒙特赫莫索過暑假

69
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,748
‎因為我們喜歡那裡嗎？不是
‎是因為很近，而且很便宜

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‎我爸媽、哥哥和我
‎一起去了蒙特赫莫索

71
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‎去蒙特赫莫索的哪裡？海灘
‎我們只去海灘

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‎除此之外就沒了

73
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‎我們沒有上餐廳、沒吃玉米

74
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‎沒吃冰淇淋，什麼都沒有

75
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‎攤販都知道我爸媽有多拮据

76
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‎連叫賣都懶

77
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‎“來買冰棒、巧克…

78
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‎力！”

79
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‎他們根本懶得叫賣，因為根本沒用

80
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‎只是浪費精力而已

81
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,818
‎我喜歡蒙特赫莫索的夜晚

82
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,612
‎我們去了遊樂場

83
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‎在遊樂場的角落

84
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‎一群小孩瘋狂地打電動

85
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,743
‎他們讓我玩了賽車遊戲

86
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:06,037
‎我會抓著方向盤玩賽車

87
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‎過第一個彎道，我撞毀了

88
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,207
‎“怎麼會？我有轉彎啊”

89
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,833
‎我再玩一次

90
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,045
‎我又在同個彎道撞毀了
‎“媽，我有轉彎啊！”

91
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,923
‎再玩一次，又在同個彎道撞毀

92
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:19,425
‎“請投入硬幣…”

93
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:21,219
‎我看著其他小孩

94
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,181
‎我的同伴在玩打地鼠

95
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‎地鼠一冒出來，你就要打下去

96
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,395
‎在時限內打越多地鼠
‎就能得到越多票券

97
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:32,522
‎你可以把票券拿去櫃台

98
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:36,818
‎用兩千張票券換一根棒棒糖

99
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‎我就站在那裡等地鼠出現
‎等了20分鐘

100
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‎“機器壞了，媽”

101
00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:47,245
‎“不，奧古斯汀
‎現在是一月，不是地鼠的季節”

102
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‎“他們在耍我們，曼紐爾”

103
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,417
‎曼紐爾是我哥，“代幣又少一個了”

104
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:56,296
‎我玩了蟲蟲遊戲之後
‎才發現我爸媽的把戲

105
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:59,132
‎蟲蟲遊戲是一種玻璃纖維的蟲

106
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:00,425
‎還會一邊播韓文歌

107
00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:01,801
‎孩子坐在位置上

108
00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:04,178
‎蟲會跟著韓文歌蠕動

109
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,513
‎爸媽就在旁邊等著

110
00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:07,640
‎但我玩的時候恰好相反
‎我會坐在位置上

111
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,310
‎蟲沒有動，是我爸媽在動

112
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,437
‎他們騙了我們

113
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,355
‎他們覺得自己沒錢很丟臉

114
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:15,857
‎我們每兩年搬家一次

115
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,109
‎租約一到期，我們就得搬家

116
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‎我們無法續約，只好找下一間新房子

117
00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:23,740
‎有時候會找到更便宜的
‎我們會想出辦法

118
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:27,368
‎我爸媽覺得很丟臉
‎我不知道為什麼，但就是那樣

119
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‎他們不希望我們發現我們又搬家了

120
00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,708
‎所以他們怎麼做？超天才

121
00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:37,086
‎他們會把新家佈置得跟舊家一模一樣

122
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,673
‎“我看得出我們搬家了，爸

123
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:41,841
‎那很明顯

124
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:44,635
‎我想去找鄰居馬丁玩

125
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,221
‎我按了門鈴，走出來的卻是
‎拿著助行器的老人

126
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:50,266
‎不然就是馬丁其實是班傑明
‎或者有在吸古柯鹼

127
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,435
‎因為我昨天見到他時，他還好好的”

128
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:58,232
‎經過多次搬家之後，我的個性變得

129
00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,984
‎有點膽小，我成了膽小鬼

130
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:03,363
‎以前我很勇敢
‎我不怕黑，也不怕怪獸

131
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,865
‎但搬了這麼多次家之後
‎只要在新家聽到任何聲音

132
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:09,369
‎我都會想
‎“這裡有怪東西，這房子鬧鬼”

133
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:11,287
‎直到今日，我還是不喜歡恐怖片

134
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:14,374
‎我不看恐怖片，從來不看

135
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,376
‎我也不看怪獸電影

136
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,419
‎我會害怕，會做惡夢

137
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,838
‎我頂多只看《怪獸電力公司》

138
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,091
‎前陣子，我女友費南達說

139
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,426
‎“我們去看《鬼修女》”
‎一部新出的鬼片

140
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,054
‎那部片才剛上映
‎演一個被附身的修女殺了所有人

141
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,514
‎“不，親愛的，那很可怕”

142
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:32,433
‎“奧古斯丁，拜託嘛，我們一起看”

143
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:33,351
‎“我不想看”

144
00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:35,770
‎“我們一起去看，當作約會”

145
00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:36,771
‎“我不想看”

146
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:40,566
‎我心想：“我必須長大
‎至少看看預告片吧”

147
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,027
‎我上網查了預告片，開始播放

148
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:46,823
‎預告片的開頭是
‎“在一間教堂，一位修女…”

149
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:49,367
‎我嚇死了，整個人嚇傻了

150
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:52,495
‎我連預告片都看不下去
‎我不喜歡恐怖片

151
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,372
‎大家到現在還在聊《怪奇物語》

152
00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:56,958
‎“快去看，出了三季…”

153
00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:59,502
‎我不想看，我會怕，會做惡夢

154
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:00,545
‎“快去看嘛”

155
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:04,715
‎高速公路上也有《怪奇物語》的廣告

156
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:05,716
‎“快去看

157
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,469
‎有個女孩可以用念力通靈”

158
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,096
‎我就是不看《怪奇物語》

159
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,681
‎他們努力說服我，最後我心想

160
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,183
‎“我不想錯過，我一定得看”

161
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,103
‎但我無法自己看
‎所以我找了我12歲的女兒碧安卡

162
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,188
‎“我們一起看《怪奇物語》”
‎“那很可怕”

163
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,065
‎“碧安卡，一起看嘛”

164
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,358
‎“我會做惡夢”

165
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,570
‎“親愛的，成熟點，別說傻話
‎我們一起看嘛”

166
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:26,988
‎“爸爸，那很可怕”

167
00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:30,491
‎“我要立一條家規
‎和我一起看《怪奇物語》”

168
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,536
‎就這樣，我開始播《怪奇物語》

169
00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:40,710
‎我們看了一集就看不下去了
‎而且當時是大白天

170
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,588
‎“那不是真的

171
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:45,882
‎大魔王只是橡膠做的
‎只是電視節目而已”

172
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,009
‎碧安卡這樣安慰我
‎直到我顫抖地入睡

173
00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:49,719
‎我不喜歡看恐怖片

174
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,181
‎我想到我爸爸

175
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:56,100
‎他是個緊張的人
‎搬家時很緊張，做什麼事都很緊張

176
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,644
‎我爸的個性緊張又焦慮

177
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,856
‎這組合很不穩定，我受不了

178
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:04,358
‎讓人受不了，他真的很緊張

179
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,986
‎他緊張到會提出一個問題

180
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:08,863
‎再自己回答

181
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:11,782
‎“你好嗎？很好？看起來就很好

182
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:14,785
‎你昨天不太好，但今天很好
‎我看了你的影片

183
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,662
‎碧安卡還好吧？她當然好了

184
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,956
‎你要幫Netflix拍喜劇特輯？

185
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,042
‎你要吹喇叭，大家都喜歡

186
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:23,836
‎‘快吹喇叭，拉達！’，超棒的

187
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,838
‎碧安卡在念醫學院嗎？”

188
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,132
‎“爸爸，碧安卡才14歲，別說了”

189
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,676
‎他不讓我說話，他太緊張了

190
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,679
‎他會在穿襪之前就穿上鞋子
‎真受不了

191
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,681
‎他擤鼻子時

192
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,309
‎總是超用力，害我們常常擔心

193
00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,603
‎他會中風變瘸子，他會這樣…

194
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,148
‎他的腿還會因為後座力而往後踩

195
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,359
‎他很緊張，太緊張了

196
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:49,070
‎我爸吃冰淇淋時總會這樣…

197
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:56,536
‎他的腦袋凍僵了

198
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,080
‎在我媽拿著一條熱毛巾出現之前

199
00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:00,164
‎他都不會恢復

200
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,541
‎我爸真的非常緊張

201
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:05,169
‎我常在烤肉時跟朋友說一個故事

202
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,421
‎這故事可以形容他…要我說嗎？

203
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,382
‎不要？我要說嗎？

204
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:10,967
‎我就說吧，故事很短

205
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:13,386
‎我要脫稿演出一段，但沒關係

206
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:16,973
‎我爸會做陶藝，用陶土做東西

207
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,850
‎他很有創意，常常用木頭做東西

208
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,061
‎我也繼承了他的幾個木工作品

209
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,439
‎不久前，我回布蘭卡港看他

210
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,401
‎我跟我媽在喝瑪黛時，我爸說

211
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,611
‎“過來，奧古斯汀

212
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,030
‎快點過來…”

213
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,615
‎我走過去：”老爸，怎麼了？”

214
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:35,992
‎“聽著，你知道嗎？”

215
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,493
‎“講慢一點，我不…”

216
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,661
‎“聽我說

217
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,580
‎我這陣子

218
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,999
‎都沒什麼陶藝的靈感

219
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,584
‎你是藝術家…

220
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:45,626
‎我看過別人說

221
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:49,338
‎藝術家有時可以激發人的想像力

222
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,631
‎你有辦法嗎？”

223
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:51,591
‎“我聽不懂”

224
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,217
‎“你有辦法嗎？”
‎“爸爸？

225
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,680
‎你是不是…

226
00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:00,433
‎想跟我要大麻？”

227
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:02,101
‎“不是！等等被媽聽到”

228
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:05,313
‎“媽媽也會抽，爸
‎她會和她在蒙特的朋友抽

229
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,356
‎別傻了，別跟我要違法的東西

230
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,025
‎我沒有，我沒在用

231
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,485
‎我真的沒有

232
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,904
‎而且我還算有點名氣

233
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,531
‎我得樹立好榜樣

234
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,533
‎我沒有大麻，真的沒有”

235
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,372
‎“爸，魯特今天來了

236
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,000
‎認識魯特嗎？他是我的老朋友

237
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,919
‎他是農夫，有一座農園
‎他喜歡在農園探索

238
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:32,298
‎他會混合品種，番茄、羅勒之類的

239
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:35,384
‎有一天，有隻小鳥突然帶來一顆種子

240
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,637
‎結果就長了好幾堆的大麻

241
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,513
‎什麼品種都有

242
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:43,142
‎氪、曼杜里奧、松巴、提克
‎罌粟、拉斯卡

243
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:44,518
‎都會讓你超嗨”

244
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,687
‎我說：“爸爸，他帶了一罐給我

245
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,230
‎記得小心一點

246
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,899
‎抽完後要等一下

247
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,526
‎就像釣魚一樣，拋竿後要等魚上鉤

248
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,655
‎務必小心一點，因為你個性很緊張”

249
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,615
‎“不，什麼…”
‎“爸，拜託”

250
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:01,035
‎我把罐子給他
‎然後就回到布宜諾斯艾利斯

251
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:04,580
‎後來，我去了哥多華

252
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,167
‎和我的夥伴表演一場雙人演出

253
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,294
‎在表演之間，我去了化妝室

254
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,838
‎拿起手機

255
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:16,509
‎發現我有12通未接來電
‎是我在美國的哥哥打來的

256
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:18,719
‎還有14通是我媽打來的

257
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,848
‎我很清楚一定是我爸慘死了

258
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,309
‎否則他也會打給我

259
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,478
‎我打給我哥，心想著

260
00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:31,273
‎“我有把想說的話都告訴他嗎？
‎有沒有跟他好好道別？”

261
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,692
‎“曼紐爾，怎麼回事？”

262
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,903
‎“快打給媽，爸發瘋了”

263
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:37,905
‎“媽，怎麼了？”

264
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:41,534
‎“你給了你爸什麼？他嗑嗨了”

265
00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:42,451
‎我太驚訝了

266
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:46,330
‎我聽到遠遠傳來：“大麻合法化！”

267
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,165
‎我可以想像我爸跑來跑去

268
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,792
‎我說：“媽，冷靜點”

269
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,086
‎她說：“奧古斯汀
‎我要叫救護車嗎？”

270
00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:55,047
‎“不行，媽，家裡有一大堆大麻
‎我們會被抓去關

271
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,257
‎連碧安卡都得去坐牢

272
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:58,008
‎冷靜點，媽”

273
00:11:58,092 --> 00:11:59,176
‎“那爸爸呢？”

274
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,011
‎“帶他到外面去”
‎“他不肯”

275
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,596
‎“丟片餅乾，他就會出去了

276
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,516
‎等他到了屋外，開始跑來跑去時

277
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,309
‎就拿水噴他，等他恢復理智

278
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:10,730
‎再給他汽水、巧克力或高糖分的東西

279
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,607
‎樂團的人跟我說過

280
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:16,569
‎糖可以破壞四氫大麻酚，讓他清醒

281
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:17,486
‎晚點再聊”

282
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,781
‎我爸就是這麼緊張
‎讓人受不了，他太緊張了

283
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:21,824
‎有次…

284
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,202
‎有次我們搬家時

285
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,413
‎新家比舊家還小

286
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:30,583
‎真受不了，然後我爸就說
‎“有一間房間不見了”

287
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,209
‎“爸，你之前來看過了”

288
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,211
‎“但就是少了一間”

289
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,629
‎“我們沒辦法再多一間房間”

290
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:39,049
‎“為什麼不行？
‎我可以在天井裝個樑，打掉一面牆

291
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,634
‎裝片鐵皮、窗戶和電風扇

292
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,262
‎放台電腦、漆個油漆
‎這樣就是一間房了”

293
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:46,265
‎“爸，你不能把天井弄成一間房”

294
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:48,934
‎“不行嗎？”
‎兩小時後，他在牆上…

295
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:54,190
‎他把牆敲掉，裝上樑和鐵皮

296
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:57,526
‎五小時內就蓋出了一間新房間

297
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:02,198
‎完美的房間，電線、電燈都拉好了

298
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:05,367
‎我媽則一如既往地

299
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:09,622
‎手裡拿著一杯瑪黛，鼓勵我爸說

300
00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:12,374
‎“羅伯托，你真是個白痴

301
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:16,212
‎我們一年半內就要搬走了
‎你只是在浪費錢”

302
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,298
‎廚房變小了

303
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,966
‎浴室變大了

304
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:24,637
‎沒有擔保人，我什麼都不是

305
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,098
‎所有門房都叫拉蒙

306
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:31,519
‎我每兩年都會為他唱這首歌

307
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:35,856
‎來吃晚餐，但務必早點來

308
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:40,027
‎我什麼都找不到，東西都還在紙箱裡

309
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:43,322
‎我從一樓搬到6樓B室

310
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,075
‎我找不到鑰匙，不然就是又搞混了

311
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,704
‎押金一個月

312
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:53,707
‎傭金是一、二或三個月

313
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,754
‎擔保人最好來自首都

314
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,423
‎我無法想像生活在這裡

315
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,967
‎不…

316
00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:06,887
‎我不相信符咒

317
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:10,558
‎我不信塔羅牌

318
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:14,228
‎盧多維卡說，在中國曆法中

319
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:18,023
‎我就是房客

320
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,150
‎口琴…

321
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,236
‎我有一個…

322
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:24,238
‎有個箱子裡有口琴

323
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,365
‎錄音機、錄影帶…

324
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:29,201
‎找到了嗎？我有貼上標籤

325
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,369
‎該死

326
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:34,665
‎我輕裝上路，像一陣風

327
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:38,252
‎我的家稱不上一間公寓

328
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:42,506
‎一把烏克麗麗、一張床和衣櫃

329
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:45,301
‎每過兩年，我就要搬家

330
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:49,638
‎我受不了我的鄰居

331
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,725
‎我們不說話的，是膚色的問題

332
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:57,354
‎我討厭她的狗

333
00:14:57,438 --> 00:15:00,190
‎她恨我，因為我抽大麻

334
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,817
‎是我爸抽的，不能怪我

335
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,361
‎我不相信符咒

336
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,404
‎不

337
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,782
‎我不信塔羅牌

338
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:13,162
‎盧多維卡說，在中國曆法中

339
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:17,166
‎我就是房客

340
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:25,549
‎我最喜歡百老匯每次結束時
‎都會假裝有一頂帽子

341
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:28,427
‎“帶著玩具搬家的重點就是

342
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:32,640
‎玩具必須小小的，而且便於攜帶

343
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,558
‎可以塞進紙箱”

344
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,477
‎這是我爸媽說的

345
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,770
‎我有兩個玩具

346
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:39,104
‎我很滿意

347
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:43,609
‎我有一個白色的忍者，還有藍波

348
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,070
‎記得藍波嗎？

349
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:49,406
‎藍波超棒的，對吧？我有一個…

350
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,992
‎穿著緊身牛仔褲的藍波

351
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,578
‎當時還沒有那種褲子

352
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:57,748
‎藍波穿著一件緊身褲，褲檔小小的

353
00:15:57,831 --> 00:16:01,919
‎“你好嗎，藍波？你很愛健身啊？”

354
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:05,589
‎手臂這麼粗，頭上綁著頭巾
‎還有一頭汗濕的長髮

355
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,049
‎藍波超帥的

356
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,093
‎裝著一把長刀的刀套

357
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,178
‎就像他的第二根陰莖

358
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,847
‎我看著他想：“給我過來，藍波”

359
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:16,767
‎“我會殺了你，混蛋”，忍者說

360
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,936
‎“我要宰了你”
‎“上啊！”

361
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:28,445
‎它們會親一下

362
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,072
‎我會這樣玩公仔，你們不會嗎？

363
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,449
‎你不會把它翻過來，教訓它一頓？

364
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,660
‎公仔很有彈性，可以擺出各種姿勢

365
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:37,121
‎可以69…你們不會嗎？

366
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:38,038
‎都不會？

367
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:38,956
‎不…

368
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:42,334
‎從來不會？
‎你們沒把藍波插進屁股裡過？

369
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,836
‎在你六、七歲時？

370
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,384
‎我會，那算是…

371
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:54,096
‎利用公仔進行自我探索

372
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,306
‎當時我對玩偶和性愛有點著迷

373
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,309
‎我把藍波藏起來，帶著它到處走

374
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:03,814
‎我表妹寶拉就住在我家對面
‎她的家境和我截然不同

375
00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:07,026
‎她有一座漂亮又威風的娃娃屋

376
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,318
‎還有14個娃娃

377
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,904
‎我帶著藍波去寶拉家玩

378
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,489
‎我打開大門，把它塞進去

379
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,908
‎心想：“事情會變得很難看”

380
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,536
‎我回來後，藍波臉上多了化妝品

381
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:20,831
‎“很好，藍波！進步很多”
‎然後我把它帶回來

382
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:27,629
‎但藍波、娃娃和白色忍者都不重要

383
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:31,550
‎我最在意的事情是
‎求我爸媽買我最想要的東西給我

384
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:32,468
‎我從沒擁有過

385
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:36,472
‎那只是個簡單的玩具，我就只想要它

386
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,266
‎我不想開派對，我願意禁食一星期

387
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:40,309
‎我就是想要…

388
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:44,146
‎我想要一台塑膠卡車

389
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:45,981
‎玩不壞的那種

390
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,025
‎我不知道他們用了什麼

391
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:51,403
‎但美軍都用它來做坦克

392
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,364
‎一台玩不壞的卡車

393
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:57,910
‎“媽，買那台卡車給我
‎爸，我不會再要別的東西

394
00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:00,621
‎買那台卡車給我

395
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:05,125
‎那台卡車…”

396
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,251
‎他們沒買

397
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:07,711
‎從來沒買

398
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:11,131
‎但對六歲小孩來說，我算很聰明的

399
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,883
‎我心想：“我要自己得到

400
00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:16,345
‎玩不壞的塑膠卡車”

401
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:19,264
‎我拿了紙筆，寫下

402
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,808
‎“親愛的聖誕老人

403
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,768
‎希望今年聖誕節

404
00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:26,438
‎你可以送我玩不壞的塑膠卡車

405
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,858
‎愛你的奧古斯汀亞里斯塔蘭

406
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:34,154
‎附註，我們今年搬了三次家

407
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,198
‎記得不要找錯了

408
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,326
‎愛你的奧古斯汀亞里斯塔蘭
‎乘以二”

409
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,245
‎我畫了一棵聖誕樹

410
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:44,123
‎幾個冷盤、幾杯汽水

411
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:48,710
‎還有一大堆雪，阿根廷很常見的

412
00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:52,923
‎我在8月22日時把信寄出

413
00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:55,217
‎我有點緊張，一直等待著

414
00:18:55,801 --> 00:19:01,140
‎我在客廳放聖誕樹的位置等著

415
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:06,645
‎兩天後，我媽說

416
00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:08,939
‎“奧古斯汀，我跟你爸談過了

417
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:12,943
‎我們覺得玩不壞卡車
‎對聖誕老人來說

418
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:14,278
‎有點太貴了”

419
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,321
‎“混帳東西

420
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,741
‎妳偷看我的信？”

421
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:21,618
‎我又寫了另一封信

422
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:22,870
‎“親愛的聖誕老人

423
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:27,416
‎因為我的通訊隱私
‎在我家裡無法受到尊重

424
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,669
‎我得透過其他方式寄出第二封信

425
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:33,672
‎你認識我同學
‎馬里亞諾布蘭卡蒙嗎？

426
00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:35,883
‎坐在我後面的金髮同學
‎看起來笨笨的那個？

427
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:39,428
‎他去年很不乖

428
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,931
‎但你還是送他一台登山腳踏車
‎有18段變速和車燈

429
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,601
‎但我呢，我已經這麼乖了

430
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:48,395
‎卻只收到一個浩克吹泡泡機

431
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:50,647
‎我恨你，聖誕老人

432
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,816
‎希望今年午夜時

433
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:56,236
‎我會收到一台玩不壞的塑膠卡車

434
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,281
‎否則我會放火燒了你的雪橇、麋鹿

435
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:00,532
‎和其他東西

436
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:02,326
‎混蛋

437
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:05,162
‎愛你的奧古斯汀亞里斯塔蘭”

438
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:07,956
‎我寄出了這封信

439
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:12,169
‎12月24日當天，我緊張地起床

440
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,546
‎“媽，他人呢？
‎聖誕老人什麼時候會來？

441
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,423
‎今天是24日，聖誕老人今晚會來

442
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:18,592
‎他何時會來？爸爸在哪裡？

443
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:20,594
‎他在吃冰淇淋嗎？爸爸！”

444
00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:21,970
‎“幹嘛？”

445
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,389
‎“別再吃冰淇淋了，爸，拜託你

446
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:27,434
‎我們該怎麼辦？我要見聖誕老人

447
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:29,561
‎快把花生拿出來”，我們就拿了

448
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:30,729
‎“汽水是溫的”

449
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,606
‎“放進冰箱！”
‎“還是溫的”

450
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:35,734
‎“放進冰箱！”
‎“還是溫的…”

451
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,236
‎“把門關上！”，我關了

452
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,529
‎“爸爸，你買煙火了嗎？”

453
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:41,031
‎“買了，你看”

454
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,324
‎“聖誕老人何時來？”
‎“午夜”

455
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,784
‎“幾點？”
‎“午夜”

456
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:45,327
‎出現了

457
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:46,703
‎我等待已久的禮物

458
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,666
‎玩不壞的塑膠卡車

459
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,044
‎我還以為會更大一點

460
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,089
‎是不是呢？

461
00:20:58,757 --> 00:20:59,591
‎好奇怪

462
00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,970
‎聖誕老人的筆跡跟媽媽的一樣

463
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:13,313
‎我像個脫衣舞孃一樣打開盒子

464
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,319
‎魔術箱？

465
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:26,618
‎聖誕老人

466
00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:28,870
‎你是文盲還是笨蛋？

467
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:32,457
‎我寫的是“玩不壞的塑膠卡車”

468
00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:35,669
‎我不想當魔術師

469
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:38,797
‎我想開一台卡車，環遊世界

470
00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:42,301
‎（魔術秀）

471
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:43,510
‎“成為魔術師

472
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:47,931
‎指示，讓一顆蛋消失在紅色杯子裡

473
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:51,393
‎拿著紅色杯子，看著觀眾”

474
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:55,188
‎這裡沒人

475
00:21:56,857 --> 00:21:59,401
‎“打開杯子，裡面有一顆雞蛋

476
00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:02,696
‎把蛋取出，秀出空杯子

477
00:22:05,907 --> 00:22:09,828
‎蓋上杯子，把蛋放進右邊口袋

478
00:22:12,956 --> 00:22:13,915
‎看向觀眾”

479
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:14,833
‎還是沒人

480
00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:21,506
‎“彈一下手指，說出咒語”

481
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,717
‎“天靈靈…”
‎去你的，聖誕老人

482
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,595
‎“你會看到雞蛋從你的口袋消失

483
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,722
‎並出現在…”，不會吧！

484
00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:36,813
‎不會吧！

485
00:22:39,149 --> 00:22:40,734
‎不會吧！

486
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,079
‎出現了，消失了

487
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:54,456
‎出現了，消失了

488
00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:56,708
‎出現了，消失了

489
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,835
‎長鬍子，短鬍子

490
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:01,088
‎長鬍子，短鬍子

491
00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:03,465
‎雞蛋在哪裡？就在這裡

492
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,509
‎本來在手裡，現在不見了

493
00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:07,844
‎在哪裡？就在這裡

494
00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:10,764
‎在手裡，拿出來
‎丟一下，在我鼻子裡

495
00:23:10,847 --> 00:23:12,516
‎就這樣

496
00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:14,434
‎布蘭卡港誕生了一個

497
00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:16,144
‎六歲的魔術師

498
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,146
‎拉達，嘿！

499
00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:23,026
‎這是一段魔術表演

500
00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:24,403
‎謝謝你們的掌聲

501
00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:26,738
‎我感受到掌聲了

502
00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,657
‎我的魔術失控了

503
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:31,243
‎看看我的手帕都掉了

504
00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:33,578
‎你預料到了，普皮

505
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:36,373
‎這是一段魔術

506
00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:39,126
‎每當有親戚來訪
‎奧古斯汀會做什麼？

507
00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:41,378
‎用一段精采的魔術秀壓制全場

508
00:23:41,461 --> 00:23:44,798
‎突然之間，親戚都不來了

509
00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:47,050
‎我迷上了魔術

510
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:49,886
‎鴿子、手帕、硬幣、各種東西

511
00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:52,973
‎一下出現、一下消失的雪茄

512
00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:56,893
‎有個親戚很愛來我家
‎我奶奶常常來喝瑪黛

513
00:23:56,977 --> 00:24:00,230
‎“奶奶，我會一個
‎很厲害的撲克牌魔術

514
00:24:00,313 --> 00:24:02,774
‎我練了很久，妳一定不敢置信

515
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:05,735
‎奶奶，看著撲克牌”
‎然後我開始洗牌

516
00:24:05,819 --> 00:24:06,903
‎洗…

517
00:24:07,571 --> 00:24:08,947
‎洗…

518
00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:11,366
‎“選一張牌，隨便一張

519
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:14,035
‎選好之後記在心裡，然後放回去”

520
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,662
‎我又開始洗牌

521
00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:20,125
‎洗到一半，一張牌飛了出來

522
00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:22,752
‎我撿起來，往背後一丟，再拿起來

523
00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:24,463
‎“奶奶，這是妳選的牌”

524
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:26,173
‎“我已經忘了”，混帳東西

525
00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:29,509
‎老女人，妳就不能說是梅花七嗎？

526
00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:32,554
‎方塊八、魔羯四、蝙蝠俠五

527
00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:33,805
‎全都一樣

528
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:39,311
‎我瘋狂迷上魔術，走火入魔

529
00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:42,314
‎我停不下來，我整天都在變魔術

530
00:24:42,397 --> 00:24:45,484
‎我在學校變、在朋友家變

531
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,486
‎踢足球時也在變

532
00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:50,322
‎到了青少年時期
‎我還是會在烤肉時變魔術

533
00:24:50,405 --> 00:24:51,323
‎“你想吃什麼？”

534
00:24:51,406 --> 00:24:53,533
‎我會說：“方塊四！”
‎“真是夠了！”

535
00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:56,536
‎我瘋狂迷上魔術，徹底走火入魔

536
00:24:57,162 --> 00:25:00,582
‎我的朋友岡薩洛對我說

537
00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:02,959
‎“拉達，你會變魔術，對吧？”

538
00:25:03,043 --> 00:25:05,378
‎我說：“魔術！變一條手帕！

539
00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:06,671
‎變出籠子、熱水器！”

540
00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:08,798
‎我瘋狂地愛上魔術

541
00:25:08,882 --> 00:25:12,469
‎“你都不做其他事情的嗎？”
‎“變魔術…”

542
00:25:12,552 --> 00:25:15,931
‎“你不喜歡女生嗎？
‎不想找人做愛嗎？”

543
00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:17,182
‎你說的對

544
00:25:18,099 --> 00:25:19,559
‎我還沒破處

545
00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:22,270
‎我還沒跟人做過愛
‎我17歲時一定要做到

546
00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:24,147
‎維基百科上都這樣寫

547
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,232
‎“爸爸！”

548
00:25:25,315 --> 00:25:26,900
‎“幹嘛？”

549
00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:34,449
‎“爸，給我一個建議，男人之間的

550
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:37,369
‎我還是處男，我需要你幫忙
‎我不知道該怎麼辦

551
00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:39,246
‎爸，我想跟人做愛，我有性慾”

552
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:42,624
‎“什麼？你還沒有過？
‎那很簡單，你怎麼會…

553
00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:45,085
‎去找男生或女生聊天，看你喜歡哪個

554
00:25:45,168 --> 00:25:47,712
‎要先喝點酒，彼此撫摸…

555
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:48,797
‎抱歉，兒子

556
00:25:50,006 --> 00:25:51,383
‎我太粗魯了，對不起

557
00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:53,885
‎我以為你是你哥，抱歉

558
00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:56,012
‎你是比較小的那個吧？那個魔術師？

559
00:25:56,513 --> 00:25:58,223
‎算了吧，魔術師是做不了愛的”

560
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,729
‎我爸說的很對

561
00:26:06,314 --> 00:26:07,357
‎魔術師做不了愛

562
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:11,861
‎有人說魔術師老是…

563
00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:13,947
‎並不是

564
00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:16,575
‎不可能的

565
00:26:16,658 --> 00:26:17,909
‎有兩種職業…

566
00:26:17,993 --> 00:26:21,705
‎世界衛生組織說
‎有兩種職業是沒機會做愛的

567
00:26:21,788 --> 00:26:23,123
‎一個是魔術師

568
00:26:23,206 --> 00:26:25,500
‎因為我們是白痴，整天都在耍笨

569
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,127
‎另一個是棋手

570
00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:30,380
‎因為他們的屁股很濕

571
00:26:30,463 --> 00:26:33,300
‎非常驚人，我們毫無機會

572
00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:34,843
‎聽我說準沒錯

573
00:26:34,926 --> 00:26:38,638
‎當我說到魔術師，你會想到什麼？

574
00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:41,891
‎拉斯維加斯的魔術師

575
00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:44,477
‎名叫吉爾，頭髮都豎著

576
00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:47,814
‎有四張A的皮帶扣

577
00:26:47,897 --> 00:26:49,357
‎身上穿著亮黑色

578
00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:51,651
‎帶著兩隻黑豹，粉絲對他吹風

579
00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:53,820
‎配上拉斯維加斯音樂

580
00:26:59,659 --> 00:27:00,577
‎很厲害

581
00:27:00,660 --> 00:27:02,203
‎有個女孩出現，是他的助理

582
00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,581
‎總是跟在魔術師身後
‎不可能走在前面

583
00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:05,874
‎他們都是沙文主義者

584
00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:08,126
‎是混蛋、白痴，又是沙文主義者

585
00:27:08,209 --> 00:27:09,961
‎那個女孩在空中翻跟斗

586
00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:11,421
‎最後進了一個這麼大的箱子

587
00:27:11,504 --> 00:27:12,339
‎可憐的傢伙

588
00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:15,050
‎她把自己塞進去箱子裡

589
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:16,801
‎他拿起一把矛

590
00:27:18,345 --> 00:27:19,471
‎把矛刺進去

591
00:27:20,722 --> 00:27:21,598
‎又拿起另一把

592
00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:25,393
‎他對女孩吐口水、拉屎
‎還把她點火

593
00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:28,355
‎最後那女孩穿著另一套衣服出現
‎但得到掌聲的是誰？

594
00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:29,564
‎他媽的魔術師

595
00:27:31,816 --> 00:27:34,277
‎沒人會想跟他做愛

596
00:27:34,361 --> 00:27:37,572
‎如果要跟魔術師喝咖啡
‎就仔細聽好了

597
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:41,201
‎喝咖啡時你問：“你是做什麼的？”
‎“我是魔術師”

598
00:27:41,284 --> 00:27:44,245
‎拜託你千萬不要說：“不會吧！”

599
00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:48,041
‎如果你說了，你就會開啟他的開關

600
00:27:48,124 --> 00:27:50,293
‎他會開始扯一連串的鬼話

601
00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:51,586
‎連他自己都無法控制

602
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:55,674
‎“你不知道我是魔術師？請看這個

603
00:27:56,257 --> 00:27:58,176
‎你的湯匙在我手裡

604
00:27:58,259 --> 00:28:00,762
‎東西呢？不見了，在哪裡？不在這

605
00:28:01,471 --> 00:28:02,681
‎出現了

606
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:04,808
‎你喜歡啊，我還有其他花招

607
00:28:04,891 --> 00:28:06,267
‎在我手裡，不見了

608
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:09,104
‎在哪裡？在這嗎？

609
00:28:09,187 --> 00:28:11,189
‎不是，在你耳朵裡，出現了”

610
00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:13,483
‎從耳朵裡掏出拿鐵，太尷尬了吧

611
00:28:13,566 --> 00:28:16,528
‎但我們想像一下

612
00:28:17,570 --> 00:28:18,905
‎假設你喜歡他

613
00:28:19,489 --> 00:28:21,324
‎或者你太興奮了

614
00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:23,868
‎決定和魔術師去個更舒服的地方

615
00:28:24,911 --> 00:28:27,580
‎那裡的光線比較暗，音樂比較大聲

616
00:28:28,915 --> 00:28:30,208
‎這一定會發生的，我發誓

617
00:28:31,167 --> 00:28:33,920
‎“看，這是一堆保險套
‎顏色各有不同

618
00:28:34,003 --> 00:28:37,090
‎洗牌…

619
00:28:37,173 --> 00:28:39,551
‎隨便選一個保險套，奶奶…

620
00:28:39,634 --> 00:28:40,510
‎我是說女孩

621
00:28:40,593 --> 00:28:43,012
‎隨便選一個，然後記下來
‎我沒有在看喔

622
00:28:43,096 --> 00:28:45,724
‎我要打開了，你要什麼？狗狗？給你

623
00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:51,896
‎你要一隻鴿子？請看

624
00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:52,814
‎是一隻鴿子

625
00:28:52,897 --> 00:28:55,775
‎你想看更複雜的？看來你很喜歡

626
00:28:55,859 --> 00:28:57,277
‎看得出你喜歡

627
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:00,071
‎這是最複雜的，等等，別走嘛

628
00:29:00,155 --> 00:29:01,698
‎我想做愛，拜託，對不起嘛

629
00:29:01,781 --> 00:29:04,075
‎我不會再變魔術了，對不起嘛”

630
00:29:05,285 --> 00:29:08,037
‎太空人，消防員

631
00:29:08,121 --> 00:29:10,039
‎YouTuber，水手

632
00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:14,169
‎就是沒人想當魔術師

633
00:29:14,669 --> 00:29:19,007
‎我們需要外科醫生，還有一堆工程師

634
00:29:19,507 --> 00:29:23,219
‎就是沒人想當魔術師

635
00:29:24,429 --> 00:29:28,683
‎我爸告訴我，他很懂我

636
00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:32,312
‎別選擇當魔術師

637
00:29:32,395 --> 00:29:35,565
‎因為沒人想跟魔術師上床

638
00:29:35,648 --> 00:29:38,026
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床

639
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:40,445
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床

640
00:29:40,528 --> 00:29:43,823
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床，永遠沒有

641
00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:48,495
‎永遠沒有

642
00:29:53,541 --> 00:29:56,044
‎我染了一種病

643
00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:57,962
‎比麻疹還慘

644
00:29:58,046 --> 00:30:02,425
‎這個詛咒折磨著我，永遠都好不了

645
00:30:03,051 --> 00:30:06,638
‎在舞台上，或許我是最強的

646
00:30:08,097 --> 00:30:10,725
‎但沒人想跟我上床

647
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:13,144
‎因為我的魔術

648
00:30:31,037 --> 00:30:33,706
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床

649
00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:36,125
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床

650
00:30:36,209 --> 00:30:38,586
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床

651
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:41,005
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床

652
00:30:41,089 --> 00:30:43,383
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床

653
00:30:43,466 --> 00:30:45,468
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床

654
00:30:45,552 --> 00:30:48,137
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床

655
00:30:48,221 --> 00:30:51,474
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床，永遠沒有

656
00:31:00,984 --> 00:31:01,985
‎兩件事

657
00:31:02,068 --> 00:31:03,736
‎我錯過了燈光提示

658
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:05,154
‎三件事

659
00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:08,032
‎你忘了打開蓋子，我本來要消失的

660
00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:09,993
‎第三，我壓壞我的蛋蛋了

661
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:12,996
‎我壓壞我的蛋蛋了

662
00:31:13,997 --> 00:31:15,582
‎該死

663
00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:21,838
‎我太興奮了

664
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:28,052
‎我從小就懂得保護自己的蛋蛋

665
00:31:28,136 --> 00:31:30,597
‎我17歲時發生了一件難以忘懷的事

666
00:31:32,932 --> 00:31:34,434
‎好像一股往下吹的冷風

667
00:31:35,977 --> 00:31:37,687
‎舒服點了

668
00:31:38,855 --> 00:31:42,317
‎壓到蛋蛋的感覺無法形容

669
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:43,693
‎我17歲時

670
00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:47,572
‎發生了一件事

671
00:31:47,655 --> 00:31:49,866
‎我裸著身體在洗澡，就像平常一樣

672
00:31:51,284 --> 00:31:54,871
‎我在淋浴間裡，拿著肥皂
‎往下一看，說：“這是什麼？

673
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:56,581
‎怎麼會這樣？”

674
00:31:57,457 --> 00:32:00,919
‎聽好了，我的一顆蛋蛋，一顆睪丸

675
00:32:01,002 --> 00:32:02,754
‎明顯比另一顆大

676
00:32:02,837 --> 00:32:03,963
‎不是比較長

677
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:07,383
‎百分之98的男人
‎會有一顆睪丸比另一顆長

678
00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:09,719
‎但我的卻是比較大

679
00:32:09,802 --> 00:32:13,806
‎想像一顆尺寸很大的橘子

680
00:32:13,890 --> 00:32:15,767
‎我的一顆蛋蛋差不多就那麼大

681
00:32:15,850 --> 00:32:18,978
‎當時我17歲，還沒辦法直接上網搜尋

682
00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:21,481
‎“我的蛋蛋跟橘子一樣大
‎該怎麼辦？”

683
00:32:21,564 --> 00:32:24,776
‎我去找我爸，說：“爸”
‎“怎麼了？”

684
00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:29,697
‎“我們得談談你的冰淇淋成癮

685
00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:31,449
‎我有一顆蛋蛋變得超大”

686
00:32:31,532 --> 00:32:34,410
‎“什麼意思？你瘋了嗎？
‎讓我看看你的蛋蛋”

687
00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:35,954
‎我給他看了

688
00:32:36,037 --> 00:32:37,080
‎我爸說：“伊內絲！”

689
00:32:37,163 --> 00:32:39,707
‎“不要叫她，這是男人的事

690
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:41,751
‎我是青少年，帶我去看蛋蛋醫師”

691
00:32:41,834 --> 00:32:43,419
‎我們去看了蛋蛋醫師

692
00:32:43,503 --> 00:32:45,254
‎“醫生，你好嗎？”

693
00:32:45,338 --> 00:32:46,881
‎他問：“怎麼了嗎？”

694
00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:48,716
‎“發生了一件有趣的事

695
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,510
‎我起床去洗澡時

696
00:32:51,177 --> 00:32:54,013
‎發現我的一顆睪丸變得超大”

697
00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:57,225
‎“別擔心，放輕鬆，這很正常

698
00:32:57,308 --> 00:33:01,104
‎17到18歲的人常常睪丸腫脹

699
00:33:01,187 --> 00:33:04,023
‎慢慢就會消了，都是荷爾蒙在作怪”

700
00:33:04,107 --> 00:33:07,777
‎“你不懂，老大，真的變大很多”

701
00:33:07,860 --> 00:33:09,362
‎“你太小看我了

702
00:33:09,445 --> 00:33:11,656
‎我每天都在看別人的蛋蛋，我很懂

703
00:33:11,739 --> 00:33:14,283
‎睪丸會腫起來，然後又消下去”

704
00:33:14,367 --> 00:33:17,078
‎“我的蛋蛋跟橘子一樣大，醫生”
‎“什麼？”

705
00:33:17,787 --> 00:33:18,830
‎“跟橘子一樣大”

706
00:33:18,913 --> 00:33:20,123
‎“橘子？”
‎“有一點像”

707
00:33:20,206 --> 00:33:21,374
‎“皺皺的？”
‎“也許吧”

708
00:33:21,457 --> 00:33:22,458
‎“有種子嗎？”

709
00:33:22,542 --> 00:33:25,503
‎“我不知道，就像一顆橘子”

710
00:33:25,586 --> 00:33:27,130
‎“給我看”，我照做了

711
00:33:27,213 --> 00:33:29,590
‎他說：“不要動，把衣服脫了”

712
00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:31,384
‎他去拿了一張凳子

713
00:33:31,884 --> 00:33:33,428
‎所有泌尿科醫師都有的凳子

714
00:33:34,095 --> 00:33:37,140
‎經過泌尿科醫學院認證

715
00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:41,644
‎泌尿科反斗城獨家販售

716
00:33:41,728 --> 00:33:44,355
‎在華內斯街743號買的

717
00:33:45,314 --> 00:33:47,650
‎那是布宜諾斯艾利斯的地址
‎不知道墨西哥的在哪

718
00:33:48,818 --> 00:33:50,611
‎他說：“把衣服脫了”

719
00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:52,613
‎我留下了襪子，他說：“襪子也脫了”

720
00:33:52,697 --> 00:33:53,990
‎我照做，他戴上了手套

721
00:33:55,241 --> 00:33:57,410
‎他看著我說：“放輕鬆，法比安”

722
00:33:57,493 --> 00:33:58,870
‎“醫生，我不是法比安”

723
00:33:58,953 --> 00:34:01,873
‎“不，法比安是我，我認識我自己”

724
00:34:01,956 --> 00:34:03,041
‎他抓住我的蛋蛋

725
00:34:06,252 --> 00:34:09,047
‎輕輕擠壓兩顆睪丸

726
00:34:09,547 --> 00:34:12,091
‎當然了，其中一顆的感覺比較明顯

727
00:34:12,175 --> 00:34:14,427
‎他說：“稍微彎下來

728
00:34:16,471 --> 00:34:17,346
‎再來一點

729
00:34:19,432 --> 00:34:20,391
‎再一點點”

730
00:34:23,019 --> 00:34:24,312
‎他在筆記本上寫下

731
00:34:25,146 --> 00:34:28,066
‎“睪丸腫脹
‎病患：奧古斯汀亞里斯塔蘭

732
00:34:28,149 --> 00:34:30,485
‎右邊睪丸，120巴

733
00:34:30,985 --> 00:34:34,030
‎左邊睪丸，177巴”

734
00:34:35,114 --> 00:34:38,534
‎他拿起我健康的睪丸
‎沒有事先預告，就這樣…

735
00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:52,840
‎“睪丸震盪，不良”

736
00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:57,595
‎然後，奇怪的事情發生了

737
00:34:57,678 --> 00:34:58,930
‎真的非常奇怪

738
00:34:59,013 --> 00:35:00,848
‎“睪丸震盪，不良”

739
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:03,851
‎聽好了，奇怪的要來了

740
00:35:04,519 --> 00:35:05,603
‎怪到不行

741
00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:09,232
‎他抓住我的蛋蛋
‎眼神看的不是蛋蛋，也不是我

742
00:35:09,315 --> 00:35:14,320
‎他好像在和我的蛋蛋心電感應

743
00:35:14,403 --> 00:35:17,406
‎“他在用念力和我的蛋蛋說話嗎？”

744
00:35:17,490 --> 00:35:21,410
‎想像一下，當年我17歲，未成年
‎蛋蛋被一個老頭抓著

745
00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:23,621
‎還用念力跟它們說話，我完全不懂

746
00:35:23,704 --> 00:35:25,289
‎我必須找人來幫忙

747
00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:27,333
‎所以我開始喊我爸

748
00:35:27,416 --> 00:35:28,709
‎我完全搞不懂情況

749
00:35:29,418 --> 00:35:32,004
‎然後他開始跟我的蛋蛋說話

750
00:35:32,088 --> 00:35:34,340
‎“你好嗎？”
‎“我很好，你呢？”

751
00:35:34,423 --> 00:35:35,550
‎“很好”

752
00:35:37,176 --> 00:35:38,970
‎我不會說蛋語

753
00:35:39,053 --> 00:35:42,140
‎接著，那傢伙開始…

754
00:35:44,684 --> 00:35:45,768
‎不是在撫摸

755
00:35:45,852 --> 00:35:49,564
‎而是把它們移來移去
‎好像在玩響板一樣

756
00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:50,648
‎就像這樣

757
00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:08,583
‎怎麼回事？

758
00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:12,545
‎蛋蛋是怎麼回事？

759
00:36:13,504 --> 00:36:15,381
‎像橘子一樣的蛋蛋

760
00:36:15,464 --> 00:36:19,135
‎是怎麼回事？

761
00:36:20,303 --> 00:36:21,512
‎怎麼回事？

762
00:36:22,430 --> 00:36:24,807
‎蛋蛋是怎麼回事？

763
00:36:25,391 --> 00:36:27,518
‎像橘子一樣的蛋蛋

764
00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:31,063
‎是怎麼回事？

765
00:36:31,147 --> 00:36:33,316
‎賈西拉，過來拍張照

766
00:36:33,399 --> 00:36:35,776
‎這蛋蛋可以當成教材

767
00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:39,280
‎可以拿來研究，快拍張照

768
00:36:39,363 --> 00:36:44,452
‎就像橘子一樣

769
00:36:45,953 --> 00:36:47,496
‎他可能沒有親吻我的蛋蛋

770
00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:51,167
‎我震驚不已

771
00:36:51,667 --> 00:36:54,045
‎我開始穿上衣服，他說

772
00:36:54,128 --> 00:36:55,463
‎“不要動，別穿上衣服”

773
00:36:55,546 --> 00:36:58,549
‎“還要幹嘛？”
‎“放輕鬆”，他說

774
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:00,218
‎“跑一下”

775
00:37:00,301 --> 00:37:01,636
‎“什麼？”
‎“跑一下”

776
00:37:02,762 --> 00:37:04,388
‎“真的？”
‎“跑一下”

777
00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:06,807
‎“如果你把燈光調暗一點
‎再給我一點威士忌…”

778
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,935
‎“跑一下”，我照做了

779
00:37:09,018 --> 00:37:10,436
‎“不要遮遮掩掩”
‎“知道了”

780
00:37:10,519 --> 00:37:13,314
‎我害羞地繼續跑
‎醫生拍了照片，做了筆記

781
00:37:13,397 --> 00:37:15,483
‎“停在中間，跳幾下”，我就跳了

782
00:37:15,566 --> 00:37:18,527
‎這時我發現，在我跳的同時

783
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:21,572
‎因為我盡量不去想到底發生了什麼事

784
00:37:21,656 --> 00:37:22,949
‎這時我才發現

785
00:37:23,532 --> 00:37:26,661
‎人體根本是外星人設計的精良儀器

786
00:37:26,744 --> 00:37:27,578
‎太不合理了

787
00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:31,374
‎我也意識到
‎為什麼我剛才說的那種事會發生

788
00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:35,294
‎也就是男人的一顆睪丸
‎一定比另一顆長

789
00:37:36,337 --> 00:37:37,463
‎為什麼呢？

790
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:41,133
‎因為如果兩顆睪丸的長度一樣

791
00:37:41,217 --> 00:37:44,220
‎想像一下尼安德塔人

792
00:37:44,303 --> 00:37:46,973
‎去打獵的時候

793
00:37:47,056 --> 00:37:48,641
‎在叢林裡追著一隻黑豹

794
00:37:48,724 --> 00:37:51,477
‎他們全身赤裸
‎因為當時衣服還沒發明

795
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:53,771
‎尼安德塔人在跑步，也許還得跳幾下

796
00:37:53,854 --> 00:37:56,065
‎如果兩顆睪丸長度相同
‎就會變成這樣

797
00:37:56,148 --> 00:37:58,567
‎它們會互相拍打，就像在拍手一樣

798
00:37:58,651 --> 00:38:01,779
‎但因為其中一顆比較長
‎它們才能像門栓一樣

799
00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:03,155
‎人體太完美了

800
00:38:04,323 --> 00:38:07,451
‎我一邊跳一邊幻想
‎我在叢林裡追逐黑豹

801
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:10,162
‎結果醫生說：“這要動手術

802
00:38:10,746 --> 00:38:12,540
‎你什麼病都得了，你的蛋蛋狀況很糟

803
00:38:13,374 --> 00:38:14,959
‎鞘膜積液、靜脈曲張

804
00:38:15,042 --> 00:38:18,462
‎包莖、疝氣”

805
00:38:18,546 --> 00:38:19,588
‎老天

806
00:38:19,672 --> 00:38:21,632
‎一週後，他們替我的蛋蛋動了手術

807
00:38:22,758 --> 00:38:25,469
‎他們盡力醫治我，我的狀況太嚴重了

808
00:38:25,553 --> 00:38:27,305
‎我的蛋蛋就像俄羅斯方塊一樣

809
00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:28,597
‎而我終於起死回生

810
00:38:28,681 --> 00:38:31,225
‎讓我出院前，他又說了
‎“還有一件事，奧古斯汀

811
00:38:32,435 --> 00:38:36,063
‎六個月後才會完全康復

812
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:40,026
‎請不要有性行為…

813
00:38:40,109 --> 00:38:42,278
‎對了，你是魔術師，當我沒說”

814
00:38:42,361 --> 00:38:45,698
‎我的蛋蛋動過手術
‎我的職業又是魔術師

815
00:38:45,781 --> 00:38:49,118
‎我沒機會做愛了
‎所以我決定以魔術師為業

816
00:38:49,201 --> 00:38:50,953
‎都是我自願的

817
00:38:51,037 --> 00:38:54,915
‎一開始，我先在兒童派對表演
‎賺點小錢

818
00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:58,419
‎我接了一場又一場的派對
‎然後是學校和幼稚園的表演

819
00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:01,797
‎後來又有成人禮、婚禮

820
00:39:01,881 --> 00:39:04,925
‎或者公司演出，我努力工作賺錢

821
00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:09,096
‎全都是檯面下的交易，不必開收據
‎我常常公器私用

822
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:10,264
‎帳單也越堆越高

823
00:39:10,348 --> 00:39:12,183
‎有朋友說：“我們去買啤酒”

824
00:39:12,266 --> 00:39:13,267
‎“來，拉達請客

825
00:39:13,351 --> 00:39:17,480
‎還要什麼？巧克力？我來買單”

826
00:39:17,563 --> 00:39:19,690
‎我是布蘭卡港唯一的魔術師

827
00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:20,608
‎我很受歡迎

828
00:39:20,691 --> 00:39:22,318
‎競爭對手都被我趕走了

829
00:39:22,401 --> 00:39:23,944
‎我朋友會去揍他們

830
00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:25,654
‎“想嘗嘗這個嗎？”

831
00:39:25,738 --> 00:39:27,740
‎我們謀殺兔子，弄亂撲克牌

832
00:39:27,823 --> 00:39:29,367
‎“試著找出梅花七

833
00:39:29,450 --> 00:39:30,826
‎混帳東西，滾吧”

834
00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:34,914
‎我繼續工作，賺了大錢

835
00:39:34,997 --> 00:39:37,416
‎開始四處幫忙
‎最後搬到布宜諾斯艾利斯

836
00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:39,460
‎我過得很辛苦，但也慢慢上了軌道

837
00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:42,922
‎派對、兒童派對、成人派對

838
00:39:43,005 --> 00:39:44,882
‎我開始接工作，其他魔術師都認識我

839
00:39:44,965 --> 00:39:47,218
‎我在魔術圈很受人尊敬

840
00:39:47,301 --> 00:39:49,053
‎大家都知道我叫拉達

841
00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:52,765
‎智利、烏拉圭、墨西哥、哥倫比亞
‎我開始賺美金

842
00:39:52,848 --> 00:39:54,475
‎我表現得超好的

843
00:39:54,558 --> 00:39:56,102
‎我很成功

844
00:39:56,185 --> 00:39:58,646
‎想要美金嗎？拿去

845
00:39:58,729 --> 00:40:00,439
‎只是交易都還是檯面下的

846
00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:02,274
‎一切都很順利

847
00:40:02,358 --> 00:40:05,152
‎我賺了很多錢，過得很開心又自在
‎可是…

848
00:40:05,861 --> 00:40:07,196
‎有一件事就是…

849
00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:09,615
‎感覺不太對勁

850
00:40:10,533 --> 00:40:12,076
‎我的胸口有個東西…

851
00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:14,203
‎不見了

852
00:40:17,331 --> 00:40:18,249
‎醫生

853
00:40:19,083 --> 00:40:19,917
‎我…

854
00:40:20,459 --> 00:40:22,211
‎我不開心，醫生

855
00:40:24,296 --> 00:40:26,048
‎本來一切都好好的，但突然間…

856
00:40:26,132 --> 00:40:28,634
‎我就哭了，醫生

857
00:40:31,637 --> 00:40:33,222
‎我不知道…

858
00:40:33,305 --> 00:40:34,849
‎我不知道…

859
00:40:37,184 --> 00:40:39,770
‎我不知道…抱歉，我說不下去了

860
00:40:47,570 --> 00:40:48,696
‎稍等一下，醫生

861
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:51,157
‎會過去的…

862
00:40:54,201 --> 00:40:56,996
‎我要說，我不知道
‎我這症狀有沒有一個名字

863
00:40:59,707 --> 00:41:03,252
‎我知道這是你的專業
‎但我在街頭上…

864
00:41:03,335 --> 00:41:04,712
‎我沒事的

865
00:41:07,673 --> 00:41:09,091
‎我的人生過得很好

866
00:41:11,343 --> 00:41:13,762
‎我努力追夢，也實現了夢想

867
00:41:13,846 --> 00:41:15,639
‎我把興趣轉為職業

868
00:41:18,767 --> 00:41:21,061
‎漫畫中會發生的一切

869
00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:23,606
‎都發生了，那樣很棒

870
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:29,945
‎但我在街上看到一隻狗大便時

871
00:41:30,029 --> 00:41:31,655
‎我卻哭了，醫生

872
00:41:33,532 --> 00:41:34,658
‎我很不穩定

873
00:41:36,785 --> 00:41:37,870
‎我有工作

874
00:41:38,621 --> 00:41:39,538
‎我能賺錢

875
00:41:40,873 --> 00:41:44,293
‎我的同事都會鼓勵我，幫我加油

876
00:41:45,961 --> 00:41:48,380
‎但我就是快樂不起來，醫生

877
00:41:52,176 --> 00:41:54,678
‎我感受到壓力，我想賺更多錢

878
00:41:54,762 --> 00:41:57,056
‎我永遠都在奮鬥

879
00:41:57,139 --> 00:41:58,766
‎永遠都在賺錢

880
00:41:58,849 --> 00:42:00,893
‎“你想要什麼？游泳池，還是遊艇？”

881
00:42:00,976 --> 00:42:04,146
‎我永遠無法買一艘遊艇
‎要我放在哪裡？

882
00:42:04,230 --> 00:42:05,105
‎哪裡？

883
00:42:06,732 --> 00:42:08,609
‎我覺得…

884
00:42:08,692 --> 00:42:11,028
‎你知道查爾斯王子嗎？

885
00:42:11,111 --> 00:42:12,488
‎可憐的傢伙，你有看到嗎？

886
00:42:12,571 --> 00:42:15,574
‎他每次上鏡頭，耳朵都會抽搐
‎他在求救

887
00:42:15,658 --> 00:42:16,825
‎他徹底迷失了

888
00:42:16,909 --> 00:42:19,787
‎他被規定該做什麼、該穿什麼衣服

889
00:42:19,870 --> 00:42:21,664
‎永遠無法自由

890
00:42:21,747 --> 00:42:24,625
‎我覺得那股壓力
‎一直在規定我該怎麼做

891
00:42:24,708 --> 00:42:27,294
‎規定我該做什麼、該穿什麼衣服

892
00:42:27,378 --> 00:42:30,714
‎誰跟你說的，奧古斯汀？
‎你怎麼會那樣想？

893
00:42:30,798 --> 00:42:32,174
‎是我爸，醫生

894
00:42:32,925 --> 00:42:33,759
‎對吧？

895
00:42:34,510 --> 00:42:36,470
‎你怎麼說，醫生？

896
00:42:36,554 --> 00:42:41,433
‎你以為聖誕老人的魔術箱不用錢嗎？

897
00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:43,852
‎他們這麼做，就是為了讓我當魔術師

898
00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:45,896
‎這個世界需要什麼？魔術師

899
00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:49,358
‎他們要我找份工作，好好賺錢
‎這很明顯啊，醫生

900
00:42:52,444 --> 00:42:54,989
‎容我說一句，奧古斯汀

901
00:42:59,618 --> 00:43:00,452
‎可是…

902
00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:05,916
‎沒有一個爸爸或媽媽
‎會希望自己的孩子當魔術師

903
00:43:11,797 --> 00:43:13,007
‎醫生

904
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,677
‎你給了我一記當頭棒喝

905
00:43:17,511 --> 00:43:18,596
‎你說的對

906
00:43:20,889 --> 00:43:22,099
‎我是個白痴，醫師

907
00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:26,854
‎太白痴了

908
00:43:26,937 --> 00:43:28,397
‎我是個白痴，醫生

909
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:29,523
‎抱歉，我…

910
00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:32,026
‎你怎麼不寫下來？

911
00:43:32,109 --> 00:43:34,987
‎奧古斯汀亞里斯塔蘭是個白痴
‎這就是我的診斷

912
00:43:35,070 --> 00:43:36,071
‎就這樣，醫生

913
00:43:36,155 --> 00:43:39,074
‎我不想這樣，我都在做什麼？

914
00:43:39,158 --> 00:43:41,410
‎我嘔心瀝血地工作
‎但那不是我想要的

915
00:43:41,493 --> 00:43:45,164
‎我不想一直受人指使
‎就像查爾斯一樣

916
00:43:45,247 --> 00:43:47,291
‎我不想那樣，醫生

917
00:43:47,374 --> 00:43:50,002
‎給我開藥吧
‎因為我不知道該怎麼辦了

918
00:43:50,586 --> 00:43:54,006
‎我不想當查爾斯，不

919
00:43:54,506 --> 00:43:57,760
‎我不想比你更傑出

920
00:43:57,843 --> 00:44:01,388
‎我不想當查爾斯，不

921
00:44:01,972 --> 00:44:04,683
‎我想自己決定我的身分

922
00:44:04,767 --> 00:44:07,770
‎醫生，你好嗎？我上週開始吃藥

923
00:44:07,853 --> 00:44:09,688
‎早、中、晚，各三顆

924
00:44:09,772 --> 00:44:11,065
‎醫生！

925
00:44:11,148 --> 00:44:14,234
‎早上的那顆讓我好有精神

926
00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:15,444
‎醫生！

927
00:44:15,527 --> 00:44:18,405
‎有時我的手機沒電了
‎我光是站在旁邊

928
00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:19,948
‎它就會自己充電

929
00:44:20,032 --> 00:44:21,116
‎我就是這麼有活力

930
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,495
‎我站起來，75度，70度

931
00:44:24,578 --> 00:44:25,537
‎醫生！

932
00:44:25,621 --> 00:44:28,957
‎鳥兒在歌唱，一切都很美好

933
00:44:29,041 --> 00:44:32,628
‎接著，我吃了下午的藥

934
00:44:32,711 --> 00:44:34,421
‎本來都好好的，但突然間…

935
00:44:57,027 --> 00:44:58,904
‎我有點卡住了

936
00:44:58,987 --> 00:45:01,699
‎吃了晚上的藥後，醫生

937
00:45:01,782 --> 00:45:03,659
‎晚上的藥，醫生…

938
00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:07,579
‎晚上的藥，醫生…

939
00:45:07,663 --> 00:45:09,164
‎醫生！

940
00:45:09,748 --> 00:45:12,835
‎隔天的我變成這樣

941
00:45:12,918 --> 00:45:14,002
‎癱在那裡

942
00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:17,381
‎往旁邊一看，我看到了藍波

943
00:45:17,464 --> 00:45:19,550
‎“嘿，藍波，你好嗎？”

944
00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:23,053
‎我摸了藍波，醫生

945
00:45:25,973 --> 00:45:27,057
‎“你要幹嘛，普皮？”

946
00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,853
‎讓我每天都吃那顆藥吧

947
00:45:30,936 --> 00:45:32,896
‎我感覺很棒，我看起來怎麼樣？

948
00:45:32,980 --> 00:45:33,939
‎我很開心

949
00:45:36,984 --> 00:45:40,237
‎我不想當查爾斯，不

950
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:44,158
‎我不想比你更傑出

951
00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:47,995
‎我不想當查爾斯，不

952
00:45:48,078 --> 00:45:50,831
‎我想自己決定我的身分

953
00:45:50,914 --> 00:45:54,460
‎醫生，藥丸互相抵銷了
‎我的感覺很棒

954
00:45:54,543 --> 00:45:56,670
‎聽著，那天發生了這種事

955
00:45:56,754 --> 00:45:59,757
‎我去了查爾卡斯和烏里亞特的
‎日本乾洗店

956
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:02,301
‎我帶著我的魔術師西裝

957
00:46:02,384 --> 00:46:05,262
‎“麻煩幫我洗這件，我下週來付錢”

958
00:46:05,345 --> 00:46:06,889
‎我們是朋友，他常幫我洗衣服

959
00:46:06,972 --> 00:46:09,683
‎後來我去表演
‎但他竟然搞混了我的西裝

960
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:12,561
‎他給了我另一套，全白的一套

961
00:46:12,644 --> 00:46:16,231
‎褲子、外套、襯衫、領結
‎都是白色的，丟臉死了

962
00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:18,233
‎但我必須表演，我只好穿上身

963
00:46:18,317 --> 00:46:20,235
‎走上舞台，大家都笑了

964
00:46:20,319 --> 00:46:22,529
‎“抱歉，白色又流行起來了

965
00:46:23,030 --> 00:46:24,948
‎我長得好像棉花棒”

966
00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:28,368
‎表演結束後，有個女孩走上前說

967
00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:31,246
‎“嗨，請問有冰棒或巧克力冰嗎？”

968
00:46:31,330 --> 00:46:32,498
‎有了！

969
00:46:32,581 --> 00:46:34,917
‎她就是我女朋友，我們約會十天了

970
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:35,834
‎厲害吧？

971
00:46:35,918 --> 00:46:39,671
‎我不想當查爾斯，不

972
00:46:39,755 --> 00:46:43,425
‎我不想比你更傑出

973
00:46:43,509 --> 00:46:47,012
‎我不想當查爾斯，不

974
00:46:47,095 --> 00:46:50,349
‎我想自己決定我的身分

975
00:46:50,432 --> 00:46:52,851
‎醫生，我回到了乾洗店

976
00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:54,394
‎兩週後，我回去了

977
00:46:54,478 --> 00:46:57,064
‎“我不知道該扁你還是抱你

978
00:46:57,147 --> 00:46:58,690
‎你改變了我的人生

979
00:46:58,774 --> 00:47:00,692
‎你給錯西裝，卻讓我遇到女朋友

980
00:47:00,776 --> 00:47:03,612
‎我們交往三個月了
‎現在開始同居，太順利了”

981
00:47:03,695 --> 00:47:05,364
‎知道他說什麼？

982
00:47:05,447 --> 00:47:07,741
‎他對我說了幾句話

983
00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:09,409
‎聽好了，他看著我說

984
00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:17,918
‎會說日文嗎？ 我也不會

985
00:47:18,001 --> 00:47:19,878
‎但我相信他說的是

986
00:47:19,962 --> 00:47:23,674
‎“有時人生會給你檸檬”

987
00:47:26,134 --> 00:47:27,886
‎我啞口無言，醫生

988
00:47:27,970 --> 00:47:31,890
‎西裝、藥丸和乾洗店這三件事
‎有讓你聽出什麼端倪嗎？

989
00:47:31,974 --> 00:47:35,060
‎我決定停藥了，我不吃藥了

990
00:47:35,143 --> 00:47:37,563
‎你、佛洛伊德和德勒茲都去死吧

991
00:47:37,646 --> 00:47:39,356
‎我不需要了，我自由了

992
00:47:39,439 --> 00:47:41,859
‎誰都束縛不了我，我交到女朋友了

993
00:47:41,942 --> 00:47:44,987
‎我不想當查爾斯，不

994
00:47:45,779 --> 00:47:48,490
‎我不想比你更傑出

995
00:47:49,491 --> 00:47:52,619
‎我不想當查爾斯，不

996
00:47:53,203 --> 00:47:54,329
‎我想自己…

997
00:47:58,876 --> 00:48:00,210
‎親愛的，妳好嗎？

998
00:48:00,294 --> 00:48:03,881
‎對，我在唱歌，我很開心，我在唱歌

999
00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:04,923
‎怎麼了？

1000
00:48:05,632 --> 00:48:08,719
‎我把醫生趕走了，我決定停藥了

1001
00:48:08,802 --> 00:48:09,803
‎什麼？

1002
00:48:11,054 --> 00:48:11,972
‎有了？

1003
00:48:17,978 --> 00:48:19,897
‎兩個月？糟糕…

1004
00:48:20,814 --> 00:48:21,648
‎有…

1005
00:48:22,274 --> 00:48:23,400
‎有了？

1006
00:48:23,483 --> 00:48:24,860
‎這算是件好事吧？

1007
00:48:30,365 --> 00:48:31,450
‎怎麼會這樣？

1008
00:48:32,242 --> 00:48:34,745
‎對，我知道原因

1009
00:48:34,828 --> 00:48:36,079
‎我記得很清楚

1010
00:48:36,914 --> 00:48:37,998
‎對，親愛的

1011
00:48:38,081 --> 00:48:41,293
‎不，我剛才在唱歌，我沒料到…

1012
00:48:42,461 --> 00:48:45,797
‎我的手機沒有提醒我
‎要收到改變人生的大消息了

1013
00:48:46,590 --> 00:48:47,424
‎對

1014
00:48:47,925 --> 00:48:51,178
‎我會去的，寶貝，只是我要坐一下

1015
00:48:53,138 --> 00:48:54,640
‎對，好

1016
00:48:55,432 --> 00:48:56,808
‎我馬上過去

1017
00:48:56,892 --> 00:49:00,103
‎我會回去找醫生
‎跟他道歉，然後吃藥的

1018
00:49:00,187 --> 00:49:02,564
‎我兩個月後就會冷靜下來，親愛的

1019
00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:03,482
‎對…

1020
00:49:04,107 --> 00:49:06,568
‎再見，幫我親妳的肚子一下

1021
00:49:07,235 --> 00:49:08,236
‎很奇怪，好

1022
00:49:09,321 --> 00:49:10,155
‎再見

1023
00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:22,209
‎天這麼冷

1024
00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:24,920
‎風這麼大

1025
00:49:27,589 --> 00:49:30,258
‎21歲時，我就當了爸爸

1026
00:49:31,468 --> 00:49:33,887
‎但我是個務實的人，從小就是

1027
00:49:33,971 --> 00:49:35,681
‎那九個月還不算難熬

1028
00:49:35,764 --> 00:49:38,976
‎我們一起搬進只有一間臥室的公寓

1029
00:49:40,018 --> 00:49:43,397
‎那九個月非常輕鬆

1030
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,065
‎我只要照顧好兩件事

1031
00:49:45,565 --> 00:49:48,944
‎照顧我女兒的母親
‎確定她要的都滿足了

1032
00:49:49,027 --> 00:49:50,153
‎第二件事是

1033
00:49:50,654 --> 00:49:52,114
‎把自己鎖在廁所裡

1034
00:49:52,614 --> 00:49:55,325
‎全身赤裸哭泣，跪在馬桶旁

1035
00:49:55,409 --> 00:49:58,453
‎什麼都不管地吞藥丸

1036
00:49:58,537 --> 00:50:01,123
‎因為我很害怕，我就要當爸爸了

1037
00:50:01,206 --> 00:50:03,166
‎“我想當查爾斯”
‎“你要當爸爸了”

1038
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:04,584
‎“什麼？不會吧”

1039
00:50:05,544 --> 00:50:06,378
‎我很害怕

1040
00:50:07,337 --> 00:50:08,630
‎怎麼可能不害怕呢？

1041
00:50:09,715 --> 00:50:14,553
‎但在2006年2月22日14點30分
‎一切都改變了

1042
00:50:14,636 --> 00:50:16,221
‎我在產房

1043
00:50:16,304 --> 00:50:18,724
‎我女兒的媽媽正在使盡吃奶的力量

1044
00:50:19,641 --> 00:50:21,518
‎“親愛的，我不敢相信”

1045
00:50:21,601 --> 00:50:23,520
‎我在一旁幫她加油

1046
00:50:23,603 --> 00:50:24,980
‎“我們要死了！

1047
00:50:25,063 --> 00:50:27,149
‎真希望我們死一死，親愛的

1048
00:50:27,232 --> 00:50:29,776
‎希望有颶風把我們捲走

1049
00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:31,361
‎我不知道！”

1050
00:50:31,445 --> 00:50:34,156
‎就在此時，房間的門打開了

1051
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:36,116
‎一道亮光射了進來

1052
00:50:36,199 --> 00:50:39,286
‎在那道光上，幾隻獨角獸在跑步

1053
00:50:39,369 --> 00:50:41,705
‎伴隨著幾隻蜂鳥

1054
00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:43,832
‎獨角獸在爬行

1055
00:50:43,915 --> 00:50:46,793
‎玫瑰花瓣灑得到處都是

1056
00:50:46,877 --> 00:50:49,004
‎“幸福”，“歡樂”

1057
00:50:49,087 --> 00:50:50,297
‎“無限的愛”

1058
00:50:51,423 --> 00:50:53,884
‎我的女兒碧安卡出生了

1059
00:50:55,135 --> 00:50:57,846
‎“我的女兒啊！

1060
00:50:57,929 --> 00:50:59,765
‎我們會很快樂的

1061
00:51:00,724 --> 00:51:02,476
‎我所見只有妳的雙眼

1062
00:51:02,559 --> 00:51:04,436
‎只有一間臥室的公寓

1063
00:51:04,519 --> 00:51:07,230
‎一大堆魔術招式，和一把烏克麗麗

1064
00:51:07,314 --> 00:51:09,232
‎我的女兒，我愛妳！”

1065
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,405
‎一瞬間，一切都改變了

1066
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:17,616
‎我們搬到了更大的家

1067
00:51:17,699 --> 00:51:19,785
‎買了第一間房子

1068
00:51:19,868 --> 00:51:22,329
‎只大了一點點，但我們很快樂

1069
00:51:22,412 --> 00:51:25,749
‎碧安卡在旁邊跑來跑去
‎我們把東西打包好，然後搬家

1070
00:51:25,832 --> 00:51:28,001
‎我學過怎麼快速搬家

1071
00:51:29,002 --> 00:51:31,505
‎房子比我們想像的還要小

1072
00:51:31,588 --> 00:51:34,633
‎我們少了一間房
‎“都塞不下了，奧古斯汀”

1073
00:51:34,716 --> 00:51:36,927
‎“為什麼不行？只要打掉一面牆…”

1074
00:51:37,010 --> 00:51:39,596
‎“親愛的，夠了，不可能的”

1075
00:51:39,679 --> 00:51:40,680
‎兩小時後卻開始…

1076
00:51:42,974 --> 00:51:44,351
‎“我變成我爸了！

1077
00:51:44,434 --> 00:51:46,853
‎把冰淇淋拿過來！”

1078
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:48,146
‎徹底失控

1079
00:51:48,230 --> 00:51:50,440
‎五小時後，一間房間出現了

1080
00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:54,694
‎“親愛的，我會掛上
‎我夢想中第一個家一定要掛的圖畫”

1081
00:51:54,778 --> 00:51:55,862
‎“我要跟你談談”

1082
00:51:55,946 --> 00:51:58,615
‎“等一下，幫我煮水，我要泡瑪黛”

1083
00:51:58,698 --> 00:51:59,908
‎“不要，快過來”

1084
00:51:59,991 --> 00:52:01,368
‎我拿起圖畫，掛了上去

1085
00:52:01,451 --> 00:52:03,286
‎“怎麼了，寶貝？”

1086
00:52:03,370 --> 00:52:05,080
‎“我們分開吧”

1087
00:52:09,626 --> 00:52:10,752
‎“我可以拿下那幅圖

1088
00:52:13,964 --> 00:52:14,923
‎什麼？

1089
00:52:15,006 --> 00:52:16,216
‎我們要分開？

1090
00:52:22,055 --> 00:52:23,515
‎好，那就分吧

1091
00:52:23,598 --> 00:52:26,643
‎沒關係，我會滾蛋的

1092
00:52:26,726 --> 00:52:28,728
‎我沒關係，我可以現在就打包

1093
00:52:29,354 --> 00:52:31,148
‎妳想要這樣嗎？我要打包了

1094
00:52:31,648 --> 00:52:32,983
‎沒關係

1095
00:52:33,567 --> 00:52:35,026
‎我要去打包嗎？

1096
00:52:35,610 --> 00:52:38,780
‎我要收拾行李了，一次，兩次

1097
00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:41,449
‎三次…”

1098
00:52:41,533 --> 00:52:42,826
‎碧安卡說：“走吧！”

1099
00:52:42,909 --> 00:52:44,661
‎“不，親愛的”，我們要搬家了

1100
00:52:45,453 --> 00:52:47,289
‎我回到一間臥室的公寓

1101
00:52:47,372 --> 00:52:49,374
‎天這麼冷，風這麼大

1102
00:52:49,457 --> 00:52:50,292
‎帶著我的行李

1103
00:52:50,792 --> 00:52:53,044
‎我關上門，鏡頭正在平移

1104
00:52:54,838 --> 00:52:55,797
‎帶著我的行李

1105
00:52:56,715 --> 00:52:59,676
‎一週跟我住，一週跟她媽媽住
‎一直都是這樣

1106
00:53:00,969 --> 00:53:04,306
‎第一週很瘋狂，我得擔起很多責任

1107
00:53:04,389 --> 00:53:07,434
‎我每天都要餵她、幫她洗澡

1108
00:53:07,517 --> 00:53:11,021
‎跟她說人生很美好，但世界很險惡

1109
00:53:11,104 --> 00:53:13,899
‎全都要我一個人負責
‎當時碧安卡才三歲

1110
00:53:13,982 --> 00:53:16,151
‎我該怎麼辦？太難了

1111
00:53:18,612 --> 00:53:21,781
‎她不能死在我手上，不然我就輸了

1112
00:53:21,865 --> 00:53:23,241
‎不行！我要照顧她

1113
00:53:24,075 --> 00:53:27,120
‎一切都很順利，我們常常一起玩

1114
00:53:27,204 --> 00:53:28,205
‎隨時都在玩

1115
00:53:28,288 --> 00:53:30,957
‎“碧安卡走過來了，好可愛

1116
00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:32,500
‎她來了，繞過了桌子

1117
00:53:32,584 --> 00:53:34,211
‎繞過了掃把，她還在往前走

1118
00:53:34,294 --> 00:53:36,463
‎她成功了！射門！

1119
00:53:36,546 --> 00:53:40,592
‎感謝媽媽在碧安卡活著時
‎讓我在阿根廷出生！”

1120
00:53:42,510 --> 00:53:44,721
‎我們總是在玩

1121
00:53:44,804 --> 00:53:47,015
‎身為一位年輕爸爸

1122
00:53:47,098 --> 00:53:50,518
‎我一直玩個不停，什麼都能玩

1123
00:53:50,602 --> 00:53:53,647
‎化妝品、假髮，我們不停地玩

1124
00:53:53,730 --> 00:53:56,733
‎碧安卡和我發明了一種遊戲

1125
00:53:56,816 --> 00:53:59,277
‎我很喜歡說這段故事
‎因為或許有些

1126
00:53:59,361 --> 00:54:02,113
‎家中有幼稚園小孩的爸媽
‎看了我的表演會說

1127
00:54:02,197 --> 00:54:04,407
‎“我們也來玩吧”

1128
00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,993
‎碧安卡當時才四歲

1129
00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:07,911
‎當時她是…

1130
00:54:10,330 --> 00:54:12,374
‎完美的四歲

1131
00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:14,834
‎這個遊戲很簡單，非常簡單

1132
00:54:14,918 --> 00:54:17,462
‎要有兩個人一起玩
‎一個大人和一個小孩

1133
00:54:20,006 --> 00:54:22,133
‎有趣的是沒有人會主動提起

1134
00:54:22,217 --> 00:54:23,593
‎你不能說：“我們來玩吧”

1135
00:54:23,677 --> 00:54:27,264
‎如果我問了，我會覺得
‎是她無法拒絕我

1136
00:54:27,347 --> 00:54:31,101
‎但如果是自然而然地開始
‎遊戲會變得更好玩

1137
00:54:31,184 --> 00:54:32,894
‎因為你不知道什麼時候會開始

1138
00:54:32,978 --> 00:54:33,853
‎這很簡單

1139
00:54:33,937 --> 00:54:37,691
‎突然間，我的身體
‎會被一個黑暗靈魂入侵

1140
00:54:38,483 --> 00:54:41,236
‎惡魔、撒旦、蒼蠅王

1141
00:54:42,529 --> 00:54:43,780
‎“碧安卡”

1142
00:54:44,447 --> 00:54:45,573
‎我跌倒在地

1143
00:54:46,616 --> 00:54:47,826
‎開始顫抖

1144
00:54:48,576 --> 00:54:49,577
‎一段撒旦的情節

1145
00:54:49,661 --> 00:54:51,204
‎屋裡只有一個人

1146
00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:54,791
‎知道驅魔的正確儀式，就是碧安卡

1147
00:54:54,874 --> 00:54:56,668
‎年僅四歲的她會說

1148
00:54:56,751 --> 00:54:58,295
‎“離開我爸爸的身體

1149
00:54:58,378 --> 00:55:01,589
‎快走開，撒旦和邪惡大天使
‎快走開，蒼蠅王”

1150
00:55:01,673 --> 00:55:04,843
‎我會站起來，抱住她，她會安慰我

1151
00:55:05,635 --> 00:55:07,262
‎我起身清理時

1152
00:55:07,345 --> 00:55:10,724
‎碧安卡會拿鹽巴畫一個圓圈
‎再把黑色蠟燭

1153
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:13,518
‎插上倒十字架，標記出被詛咒的區域

1154
00:55:13,601 --> 00:55:14,811
‎這是一場遊戲

1155
00:55:14,894 --> 00:55:15,979
‎我很喜歡

1156
00:55:16,062 --> 00:55:19,316
‎有教育意義又有趣
‎我跟她的校長提到這個遊戲

1157
00:55:19,399 --> 00:55:21,359
‎她說：“別再玩了，老兄”

1158
00:55:21,443 --> 00:55:24,529
‎但我很喜歡，碧安卡也玩得很高興

1159
00:55:24,612 --> 00:55:25,780
‎她很喜歡這遊戲

1160
00:55:26,823 --> 00:55:30,952
‎我幫她做了一個很棒的驅魔工具
‎加上一個漂亮的木製盒子

1161
00:55:31,036 --> 00:55:32,954
‎她有大蒜繩

1162
00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:34,706
‎一個小木樁和槌子

1163
00:55:34,789 --> 00:55:37,167
‎從附近教堂偷來的聖水

1164
00:55:38,251 --> 00:55:40,670
‎碧安卡大喊
‎“神父跟祭壇男孩在一起！”

1165
00:55:40,754 --> 00:55:43,006
‎我就把聖水裝進罐子裡

1166
00:55:43,089 --> 00:55:45,467
‎然後我們分頭回家

1167
00:55:47,302 --> 00:55:50,722
‎有個朋友說：“教堂的聖水不可以偷”

1168
00:55:50,805 --> 00:55:53,892
‎“但我是從教堂偷的，這樣就抵銷了”

1169
00:55:53,975 --> 00:55:57,854
‎可惡，拉達的妥協聲明

1170
00:55:57,937 --> 00:56:00,940
‎因為喜劇有時就是會說出真相

1171
00:56:01,524 --> 00:56:02,359
‎混蛋

1172
00:56:03,777 --> 00:56:07,405
‎我知道偷聖水是不對的之後

1173
00:56:07,489 --> 00:56:09,407
‎我決定自己動手做，我上網搜尋

1174
00:56:09,491 --> 00:56:12,243
‎“如何祝福自來水”

1175
00:56:14,788 --> 00:56:17,749
‎工作就跟神父一樣
‎只是沒有領國家的薪水

1176
00:56:18,333 --> 00:56:21,753
‎不害怕社會批評的拉達再次口出狂言

1177
00:56:23,505 --> 00:56:25,548
‎我幫她做了一個十字架

1178
00:56:25,632 --> 00:56:28,468
‎我很擅長木工
‎我做了個漂亮的紫紅色十字架

1179
00:56:28,551 --> 00:56:31,179
‎我沒有做出耶穌基督
‎祂的形象很嚇人

1180
00:56:31,262 --> 00:56:33,348
‎身上都是指甲和血跡

1181
00:56:33,431 --> 00:56:37,227
‎相反地，我黏上了一隻塑膠娃娃

1182
00:56:38,019 --> 00:56:40,146
‎娃娃全裸，還有亮粉眼淚

1183
00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:42,273
‎就像流著亮粉眼淚的處女一樣

1184
00:56:42,357 --> 00:56:44,025
‎髮型也很美

1185
00:56:45,777 --> 00:56:49,239
‎然後我在娃娃上寫下…

1186
00:56:49,823 --> 00:56:51,616
‎你知道在電影裡

1187
00:56:51,699 --> 00:56:55,036
‎被撒旦附身的人
‎都會把字倒過來寫吧？

1188
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:58,748
‎我在娃娃身上寫了
‎“眼睛”、“內烏肯”、“雷達”

1189
00:56:58,832 --> 00:57:00,917
‎碧安卡拿著十字架，她的身體很小

1190
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:04,838
‎十字架大概這麼大
‎就在她的驅魔箱裡

1191
00:57:04,921 --> 00:57:06,548
‎“你還好嗎？”
‎“很好，親愛的”

1192
00:57:06,631 --> 00:57:07,882
‎“開始了再告訴我”

1193
00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:10,802
‎她偶爾會拿聖水潑我

1194
00:57:12,137 --> 00:57:13,304
‎可憐的碧安卡

1195
00:57:13,388 --> 00:57:16,182
‎有天我發現她想把驅魔箱帶去幼稚園

1196
00:57:16,266 --> 00:57:18,977
‎她當時還很興奮

1197
00:57:19,060 --> 00:57:20,145
‎“碧安卡，那是什麼？”

1198
00:57:20,228 --> 00:57:21,896
‎“萬一費明被附身怎麼辦？”

1199
00:57:21,980 --> 00:57:23,648
‎“寶貝，把東西放著

1200
00:57:23,731 --> 00:57:26,151
‎快去吧，那只是遊戲而已”

1201
00:57:27,652 --> 00:57:28,653
‎我不怪她

1202
00:57:28,736 --> 00:57:30,488
‎碧安卡很天真

1203
00:57:31,698 --> 00:57:33,658
‎我遇過一次，太白痴了

1204
00:57:34,659 --> 00:57:37,078
‎我當時正在用電腦工作

1205
00:57:37,162 --> 00:57:38,621
‎惡魔突然附身

1206
00:57:39,330 --> 00:57:41,791
‎我全身都在發抖

1207
00:57:41,875 --> 00:57:44,836
‎但碧安卡不在，所以我完蛋了

1208
00:57:44,919 --> 00:57:47,088
‎幸好有水電工在我家修理暖氣

1209
00:57:47,172 --> 00:57:48,339
‎“我該怎麼辦？”

1210
00:57:48,423 --> 00:57:50,967
‎“叫碧安卡來！”，我低聲說

1211
00:57:51,509 --> 00:57:54,721
‎他還去幼稚園接碧安卡
‎幫她簽名離校

1212
00:57:54,804 --> 00:57:56,222
‎“是誰來帶她？”
‎“水電工”

1213
00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:58,266
‎“為什麼？”
‎“爸爸被附身了”

1214
00:57:58,349 --> 00:58:00,643
‎“快帶她走吧”，他們已經認識我了

1215
00:58:02,061 --> 00:58:04,981
‎碧安卡三兩下就解決了

1216
00:58:05,064 --> 00:58:06,399
‎碧安卡會處理，水電工不會

1217
00:58:09,194 --> 00:58:13,281
‎我終於發現那場遊戲不太正常

1218
00:58:15,116 --> 00:58:19,829
‎是因為碧安卡
‎想邀請她幼稚園的朋友薇琪

1219
00:58:19,913 --> 00:58:22,874
‎來家裡喝茶、玩遊戲和看卡通

1220
00:58:22,957 --> 00:58:24,959
‎“當然可以”
‎我跟她爸爸法比安談好了

1221
00:58:25,043 --> 00:58:27,378
‎“女孩們就交給我”
‎“好的，我晚點再來”

1222
00:58:27,462 --> 00:58:29,714
‎“歡呼吧，棒極了”

1223
00:58:29,797 --> 00:58:31,257
‎然後我回家了

1224
00:58:31,341 --> 00:58:32,425
‎我們原本都很開心

1225
00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:35,303
‎碧安卡在喝牛奶、看卡通

1226
00:58:36,095 --> 00:58:38,723
‎“我今天要安分點

1227
00:58:38,806 --> 00:58:40,433
‎今天不能被附身

1228
00:58:41,017 --> 00:58:42,060
‎不可以！

1229
00:58:42,143 --> 00:58:43,853
‎今天不行，薇琪在我們家

1230
00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:45,688
‎今天惡魔不能出現，她會害怕的

1231
00:58:55,323 --> 00:58:57,325
‎碧安卡！不行，今天不行”

1232
00:58:57,825 --> 00:58:58,701
‎“爸，你還好嗎？”

1233
00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:01,246
‎“放心，寶貝，今天不會被附身的”

1234
00:59:02,914 --> 00:59:04,207
‎突然間，我失控了

1235
00:59:04,832 --> 00:59:05,667
‎我倒了下來

1236
00:59:07,502 --> 00:59:09,546
‎我開始演起驅魔的遊戲

1237
00:59:09,629 --> 00:59:11,631
‎我完全搞不懂

1238
00:59:11,714 --> 00:59:13,049
‎惡魔非常憤怒

1239
00:59:13,132 --> 00:59:16,427
‎碧安卡說：“快走開，惡魔
‎走開，撒旦和邪惡大天使

1240
00:59:16,511 --> 00:59:17,845
‎走開，蒼蠅王”

1241
00:59:18,346 --> 00:59:19,180
‎我站了起來

1242
00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:21,683
‎碧安卡抱著我、安慰我，我很震驚

1243
00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:25,186
‎“爸，你好臭”
‎好，我先離開一下

1244
00:59:26,980 --> 00:59:27,981
‎我從廁所回來

1245
00:59:28,565 --> 00:59:30,900
‎惡魔離開我的身體，卻跑進薇琪身上

1246
00:59:30,984 --> 00:59:32,151
‎薇琪就像這樣

1247
00:59:36,155 --> 00:59:37,156
‎“打…

1248
00:59:37,657 --> 00:59:38,950
‎打電話給我爸

1249
00:59:39,909 --> 00:59:41,744
‎打電話給我爸”

1250
00:59:42,245 --> 00:59:44,414
‎“薇琪，沒事的，那只是遊戲…”

1251
00:59:44,497 --> 00:59:45,748
‎“打電話給我爸

1252
00:59:46,249 --> 00:59:47,333
‎我爸

1253
00:59:47,417 --> 00:59:48,459
‎我爸”

1254
00:59:49,085 --> 00:59:50,336
‎“薇琪，那只是在玩”

1255
00:59:50,420 --> 00:59:52,088
‎“打電話給我爸”

1256
00:59:52,171 --> 00:59:53,673
‎“碧安卡，想想辦法！”

1257
00:59:53,756 --> 00:59:56,926
‎“快走開，撒旦和邪惡大天使”

1258
00:59:57,010 --> 00:59:58,720
‎她拿月桂葉打了薇琪

1259
00:59:58,803 --> 00:59:59,929
‎“不，寶貝，住手”

1260
01:00:00,555 --> 01:00:01,639
‎我打了電話給她爸爸

1261
01:00:01,723 --> 01:00:04,601
‎“法比安，過來接你女兒
‎我不知道她怎麼了”

1262
01:00:04,684 --> 01:00:05,935
‎那傢伙來了

1263
01:00:06,019 --> 01:00:09,022
‎我不知道他們一家真的是基督徒

1264
01:00:09,105 --> 01:00:12,775
‎他看到薇琪
‎“聽著，有時我會被魔鬼附身”

1265
01:00:12,859 --> 01:00:15,570
‎“所以我才要來”
‎碧安卡拿著十字架說

1266
01:00:15,653 --> 01:00:17,447
‎“碧安卡，回房間去

1267
01:00:17,530 --> 01:00:19,365
‎這是大人的事，我來處理就好”

1268
01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:29,208
‎“我不知道”

1269
01:00:29,792 --> 01:00:31,044
‎我們接走了那孩子

1270
01:00:31,127 --> 01:00:33,421
‎她全身僵硬到不行

1271
01:00:33,504 --> 01:00:36,424
‎我們用丟的把她丟到後座

1272
01:00:36,507 --> 01:00:38,092
‎還得調好角度，門才關得起來

1273
01:00:38,176 --> 01:00:41,137
‎我忘不了那一幕，可憐的薇琪

1274
01:00:41,220 --> 01:00:43,056
‎她就像這樣

1275
01:00:44,599 --> 01:00:47,518
‎離開之前，那傢伙說：“你這個混蛋”

1276
01:00:47,602 --> 01:00:50,063
‎“什麼？你是什麼意思？”
‎“你是個混蛋

1277
01:00:50,146 --> 01:00:52,565
‎成熟點，你的手臂上還有塗鴉

1278
01:00:52,649 --> 01:00:56,069
‎還整天跳來跳去的
‎你的頭腦有什麼問題？

1279
01:00:56,152 --> 01:00:58,321
‎不用擔心我女兒

1280
01:00:58,404 --> 01:01:00,448
‎我要直接去五旬節教堂

1281
01:01:00,531 --> 01:01:03,201
‎讓她泡聖水，解決這個問題

1282
01:01:03,284 --> 01:01:04,577
‎但你女兒…

1283
01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:06,746
‎只能整天玩這個
‎你到底有什麼毛病？

1284
01:01:06,829 --> 01:01:08,164
‎她會變壞的

1285
01:01:08,247 --> 01:01:11,542
‎以後她想當牙醫、律師
‎或者農學家、建築師時

1286
01:01:11,626 --> 01:01:13,586
‎你這混蛋老爸
‎可以給她立下什麼榜樣？

1287
01:01:14,170 --> 01:01:15,338
‎她當上律師時會怎樣？

1288
01:01:15,421 --> 01:01:17,924
‎‘法官女士，這是本案的證據’

1289
01:01:18,007 --> 01:01:20,051
‎你是白痴嗎？長大吧！

1290
01:01:20,134 --> 01:01:21,761
‎長大！”

1291
01:01:21,844 --> 01:01:22,845
‎而我…

1292
01:01:23,638 --> 01:01:24,555
‎“我？”

1293
01:01:29,227 --> 01:01:30,061
‎那就是我

1294
01:01:35,274 --> 01:01:38,194
‎鴻運當頭

1295
01:01:38,277 --> 01:01:39,153
‎喂？

1296
01:01:39,237 --> 01:01:41,656
‎老婆…抱歉，是前妻

1297
01:01:41,739 --> 01:01:42,657
‎習慣改不了

1298
01:01:43,408 --> 01:01:45,868
‎他打給妳了？真愛打小報告

1299
01:01:46,494 --> 01:01:47,912
‎我們只是在玩

1300
01:01:47,995 --> 01:01:49,497
‎有一點，但我…

1301
01:01:49,580 --> 01:01:51,624
‎我不知道她會…

1302
01:01:53,042 --> 01:01:54,794
‎我太過火了，對不起

1303
01:01:55,962 --> 01:01:57,964
‎鴻運當頭

1304
01:01:58,047 --> 01:02:01,718
‎這是很幸運的發現

1305
01:02:01,801 --> 01:02:04,679
‎珍貴，而且出乎意料

1306
01:02:04,762 --> 01:02:08,266
‎總是突如其來

1307
01:02:08,808 --> 01:02:11,394
‎妳很憤怒，妳有沒有想我？沒有

1308
01:02:11,477 --> 01:02:15,565
‎或許是人的天賦

1309
01:02:15,648 --> 01:02:18,901
‎知道自己發現一件大事

1310
01:02:18,985 --> 01:02:22,447
‎但不是他的目標

1311
01:02:23,656 --> 01:02:24,824
‎妳懂嗎？

1312
01:02:24,907 --> 01:02:28,286
‎妳想解釋，但妳無法解釋

1313
01:02:28,369 --> 01:02:31,622
‎人生會給妳很多條路
‎妳選擇走上某幾條

1314
01:02:31,706 --> 01:02:33,958
‎抱歉我用了這種隱喻

1315
01:02:34,041 --> 01:02:37,545
‎但妳明白在兩小時內蓋出一間房間
‎再掛上一幅圖的感覺嗎？

1316
01:02:37,628 --> 01:02:40,006
‎人生隨時可以把你踢出去

1317
01:02:40,089 --> 01:02:42,258
‎這只是一個意象而已

1318
01:02:42,341 --> 01:02:44,260
‎就像乾洗店說的，記得嗎？

1319
01:02:44,343 --> 01:02:46,637
‎記得乾洗店怎麼說的？

1320
01:02:46,721 --> 01:02:48,848
‎“有時人生會給你檸檬”

1321
01:02:48,931 --> 01:02:50,516
‎妳不想要得到檸檬

1322
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:52,602
‎那妳該怎麼做？對檸檬生氣嗎？

1323
01:02:52,685 --> 01:02:54,353
‎打檸檬汁，我是這樣想的

1324
01:02:54,437 --> 01:02:56,856
‎最意想不到的愛可能正經過你身旁

1325
01:02:56,939 --> 01:02:59,150
‎在公車上，她和你在不知不覺中相愛

1326
01:02:59,233 --> 01:03:02,069
‎道路和捷徑，工作和昨日

1327
01:03:02,153 --> 01:03:04,655
‎女友、毒品、金錢
‎你的過往和現在

1328
01:03:04,739 --> 01:03:07,492
‎你必須照單全收

1329
01:03:07,575 --> 01:03:09,702
‎要嘛接受，要嘛放棄

1330
01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:12,622
‎當我打開一扇門

1331
01:03:13,414 --> 01:03:15,541
‎其他門也一同敞開

1332
01:03:15,625 --> 01:03:17,460
‎但碧安卡很有趣

1333
01:03:17,543 --> 01:03:19,212
‎鴻運當頭

1334
01:03:19,295 --> 01:03:24,217
‎碧安卡會成為她想成為的樣子
‎藝術家、律師，我不知道

1335
01:03:24,300 --> 01:03:27,136
‎她會找出答案的，就像你我一樣…

1336
01:03:28,012 --> 01:03:30,306
‎錯過你的車站

1337
01:03:30,389 --> 01:03:32,850
‎找了一站下車

1338
01:03:33,559 --> 01:03:35,770
‎或許你的人生

1339
01:03:35,853 --> 01:03:37,688
‎將在一瞬之間改變

1340
01:03:38,397 --> 01:03:40,900
‎成功或失敗

1341
01:03:40,983 --> 01:03:43,402
‎命運與未知

1342
01:03:43,486 --> 01:03:46,489
‎膽固醇與派對

1343
01:03:46,572 --> 01:03:49,200
‎耐心或者慾望

1344
01:03:49,283 --> 01:03:52,161
‎放手，或者緊緊抓住

1345
01:03:52,245 --> 01:03:54,372
‎認輸，或者讓出勝利

1346
01:03:54,455 --> 01:03:57,250
‎前方沒有道路

1347
01:03:57,333 --> 01:04:00,419
‎你就自己開拓

1348
01:04:00,503 --> 01:04:02,672
‎鴻運當頭

1349
01:04:02,755 --> 01:04:05,633
‎我覺得妳是碧安卡最棒的媽媽

1350
01:04:05,716 --> 01:04:07,260
‎鴻運當頭

1351
01:04:07,343 --> 01:04:09,345
‎我先掛了，再見

1352
01:04:09,428 --> 01:04:10,721
‎幫我把畫收好

1353
01:04:11,722 --> 01:04:14,350
‎聖誕老人，爸媽，哥哥

1354
01:04:14,433 --> 01:04:16,936
‎查爾斯，雞蛋魔術

1355
01:04:17,019 --> 01:04:19,772
‎我並不想當魔術師

1356
01:04:19,856 --> 01:04:22,733
‎因為沒人想跟魔術師上床

1357
01:04:22,817 --> 01:04:25,361
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床

1358
01:04:25,444 --> 01:04:27,989
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床

1359
01:04:28,072 --> 01:04:31,242
‎沒人想跟魔術師上床，永遠沒有

1360
01:04:31,826 --> 01:04:34,161
‎我的第一次發生在19歲

1361
01:04:34,662 --> 01:04:36,664
‎離婚，以及愛情

1362
01:04:37,164 --> 01:04:39,333
‎若要問我明白什麼

1363
01:04:39,417 --> 01:04:42,169
‎那就是一切都會變好

1364
01:04:42,253 --> 01:04:44,839
‎要嘛接受，要嘛放棄

1365
01:04:44,922 --> 01:04:47,550
‎你得知道，最好的還沒來

1366
01:04:47,633 --> 01:04:50,636
‎一切都有教訓

1367
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:53,806
‎碧安卡是最漂亮的

1368
01:04:53,890 --> 01:04:57,602
‎碧安卡

1369
01:04:57,685 --> 01:05:01,564
‎妳是最棒的

1370
01:05:03,190 --> 01:05:07,278
‎碧安卡

1371
01:05:07,361 --> 01:05:10,072
‎我很開心…

1372
01:05:12,491 --> 01:05:15,202
‎能當…

1373
01:05:16,621 --> 01:05:18,998
‎妳的爸爸

1374
01:05:22,543 --> 01:05:24,921
‎在我們小時候，大人會說

1375
01:05:25,588 --> 01:05:28,007
‎人生是一條直線

1376
01:05:28,841 --> 01:05:31,135
‎只要不犯錯

1377
01:05:31,218 --> 01:05:32,803
‎好好讀書、工作

1378
01:05:32,887 --> 01:05:35,806
‎談戀愛、結婚、生小孩

1379
01:05:36,390 --> 01:05:39,352
‎你就不會遇到任何麻煩

1380
01:05:39,435 --> 01:05:40,853
‎你可以一路通往終點

1381
01:05:42,605 --> 01:05:43,981
‎一條直線？

1382
01:05:44,065 --> 01:05:44,941
‎胡扯

1383
01:05:45,024 --> 01:05:47,735
‎對我而言，人生的起點在於
‎離開爸媽家

1384
01:05:47,818 --> 01:05:49,320
‎愛上一個人

1385
01:05:49,403 --> 01:05:52,031
‎卻被對方踢出家門的時候

1386
01:05:53,407 --> 01:05:55,201
‎在於終於實現夢想

1387
01:05:55,284 --> 01:05:57,745
‎卻發現有點無聊的時候

1388
01:05:57,828 --> 01:05:59,330
‎在於你賺了錢的時候

1389
01:05:59,413 --> 01:06:00,706
‎在於你被綁住的時候

1390
01:06:01,415 --> 01:06:03,751
‎在於你22歲就當爸的時候

1391
01:06:03,834 --> 01:06:06,128
‎在於出人意表的事情發生的時候

1392
01:06:06,212 --> 01:06:08,339
‎你可以有兩種反應

1393
01:06:09,674 --> 01:06:13,469
‎你可以生氣、咒罵、大哭、發飆

1394
01:06:13,552 --> 01:06:17,473
‎因為人生沒有按照計畫進行

1395
01:06:17,556 --> 01:06:19,558
‎沒有他們說的那麼順利

1396
01:06:20,643 --> 01:06:23,354
‎或者，你可以長大

1397
01:06:24,146 --> 01:06:27,733
‎知道所有的一切
‎美好的、不好的、醜陋的

1398
01:06:27,817 --> 01:06:31,237
‎美麗的、奇妙的、不可預料的…

1399
01:06:32,530 --> 01:06:35,700
‎都是人生日復一日給你的機會

1400
01:06:36,617 --> 01:06:38,077
‎讓你踏上新的道路

1401
01:06:40,997 --> 01:06:44,792
‎長大就是做著同樣的事情

1402
01:06:44,875 --> 01:06:47,628
‎無論別人怎麼看你

1403
01:06:48,921 --> 01:06:52,008
‎長大就是做著同樣的事情

1404
01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:55,428
‎無論別人怎麼…

1405
01:06:55,511 --> 01:06:58,222
‎無論別人怎麼看你

1406
01:06:58,889 --> 01:06:59,724
‎我買下來了

1407
01:07:01,642 --> 01:07:05,062
‎一台玩不壞的塑膠卡車

1408
01:07:06,105 --> 01:07:10,192
‎鴻運當頭

1409
01:07:11,777 --> 01:07:16,198
‎鴻運當頭

1410
01:07:16,282 --> 01:07:19,618
‎你也沒那麼糟嘛，聖誕老人

1411
01:07:51,984 --> 01:07:53,444
‎一、二

1412
01:07:53,986 --> 01:07:55,529
‎一、二、三，來吧

1413
01:08:06,749 --> 01:08:07,792
‎根本沒人嘛