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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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[in Spanish] No, no.

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-Come on, ten seconds, come on.
-[men muttering]

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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-Let's go.
-I can't take it, Pablo.

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-How do you feel?
-Like shit.

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-Why?
-I'm terrified.

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What do you mean?
It's your second Netflix special.

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-It's all right.
-[sighing] I don't want to.

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-I'm scared, man.
-[drums roll]

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It's too hard, I can't.

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[Pablo] It's not,
you've practiced for three months.

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Nothing will happen. It'll be fine.

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[Agustín sighs]

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-Focus.
-Yeah.

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Do you remember what you said to Bianca
when she started high school?

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-That it was worthless.
-No, the other thing.

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-That she should play hooky.
-No!

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[Agustín sighing]

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She was at the door, wouldn't go in,
you looked her in the eye and said,

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"Bianca, courage isn't
the absence of fear.

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Courage is facing a challenge
despite being afraid."

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I didn't say that.

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If I did, I'm a prick
because I don't buy it.

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-Just breathe.
-[Agustín inhaling]

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-[Agustín] It's too hard.
-[Pablo] They already paid.

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[Pablo] We can't say no,
we signed a contract.

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Count to three.

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[both inhaling]

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-One…
-One…

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-Two…
-Let's go.

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-[footsteps echo loudly]
-[Agustín clears his throat]

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[whispering] There's nobody here.

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[silence]

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[whispering] Son of a bitch.

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[band plays jazz-style music]

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[sighing]

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[snorting]

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All right.

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I could paint you a thousand images
about what loneliness means to me.

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A child in a shopping mall,
completely alone, looking for his parents.

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He's lost, and doesn't know what to do.

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A Bedouin walking through the Sahara,

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surrounded by sand
and with just the sun for company.

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A sailboat capsizing alone
in the open sea.

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So alone.

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A child in that sailboat,
surrounded by sand,

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with the sun for company
and a Bedouin in the cabin.

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But do you want to know
what loneliness is for comedians?

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Loneliness is this.

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[music stops]

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An absolutely empty theater.

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One of the most important theaters
in Buenos Aires,

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1300 seats and not one person.

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Not a single one.
We're in a pandemic, alone.

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With just the cameras.

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During this special,
there will be laugh tracks.

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Laugh tracks.

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If everything goes right,
your laughter will drown them out.

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Canned laughter, for a lonely comedian,

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is like homeopathy.

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We don't know if it works,
but it makes me feel good.

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You don't know what it's like here.

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It's cold! And windy!

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I should be used to it.
I was born in Bahía Blanca.

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[band plays]

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A city that is about 737 kilometers
from the capital,

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where we are now.

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Next to the sea. Cold, and windy.

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The wind in Bahía Blanca
comes out of nowhere.

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Suddenly, it messes up your plans.

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We natives are used to walking
at a 45° angle

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just so the wind doesn't knock us
on our asses.

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My family was Basque and Italian,
very intense and passionate.

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[rolling the R] Just barely middle class.

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Closer to quarter class.
Not two pennies to rub together.

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We spent our summers in Monte Hermoso.

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Was it because we liked it?
No, it was close, and cheap.

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My mom, dad, brother and I
went to Monte Hermoso.

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Where? To the beach.

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-And just to the beach.
-[music stops]

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Only the beach.

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We didn't eat out, no corn on the cob,

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no ice cream, nothing.

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The vendors could see how strapped
my parents were,

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and didn't even try for a sale.

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"I've got ice pops, choc…

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[laughter]

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…ice!"

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They didn't bother
because it'd be pointless,

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just wasted energy.

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I loved the nights in Monte.

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We went to the arcade.

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A corner,

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a bunch of kids going nuts
playing video games,

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and they'd put me in the Daytona.

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I'd grab the wheel and start the game.

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First corner, bam, I'd crash.

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"What? I turned!"

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I'd start again.
[makes driving sound]

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Same corner, bam, crash.
"Mom, I turned!"

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Started again.
[makes driving sound]

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Same corner, crashed again.

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"Insert coin, insert coin, insert coin."

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-[muffled laughter]
-I look over to the kids.

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[exaggerated voice]
My peers, playing Whac-A-Mole.

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The mole comes out and you whack it.

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The more moles you whack
within the time limit,

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the more tickets you got,
and you took them to the kiosk

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and exchanged 2,000 tickets
for a lollipop.

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And there I was,
waiting 20 minutes for a mole.

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[laughter]

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"It's broken, Mom."

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"No, Agustín, it's January,
it's not mole season."

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"They're screwing us, Manuel."

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Manuel was my brother.
"We're missing a token."

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I realized my parents' trick
after the worm game.

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The worm game
was a fiberglass worm

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with some Korean music.

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The kid sits here

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the worm wriggles to Korean music,

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and the parents wait.

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It was the reverse for me,
I'd sit down,

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the worm was still
and my parents did this,

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because they tricked us, of course.

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They were embarrassed to be strapped.

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We moved every two years.

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The lease ended
and we had to move.

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We couldn't renew it,
had to find a new house,

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sometimes a cheaper one,
we made it work.

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My parents were embarrassed.
I don't know why, but they were.

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They didn't want us to know
that we'd moved.

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So what did they do? It was brilliant.

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They put together the house
just like the old one.

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-[laughter]
-Pfft!

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"I can tell we moved, Dad.

137
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It's obvious we did.

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I went over to play with Martin,
my neighbor,

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I rang the bell
and an old man with a walker came out.

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I can tell. Or maybe he's Benjamin Button
or smoking crack,

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because I saw him yesterday
and he was okay."

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[inhaling]

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After moving so much,
I developed a personality that was…

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chickenshit, scaredy-pants.

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I was very brave, wasn't afraid
of the dark or monsters,

146
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but moving around,
so many new noises in each house,

147
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I thought, "There's something here.
This place is haunted."

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To this day I don't like horror movies.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.

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I don't watch them. Ever.
No horror movies.

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No monster movies.

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I get scared, get nightmares.

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Monsters?
Maybe Monsters, Inc., tops.

153
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A while back,
my girlfriend, Fernanda, said,

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"Let's watch The Nun."
A new horror movie.

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It just came out,
a satanic nun that kills everyone.

156
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"No, honey, it's scary."

157
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"Agustín, come on.
Let's watch it, it's okay."

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"I don't wanna."

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"Let's watch The Nun,
make it a date."

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"I don't wanna."

161
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I thought, "I need to grow up.
I'll at least watch the trailer."

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I look it up, bing, bing, bing, put it on.
It starts like this:

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[in deep voice] "In a chapel, a nun…"

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Scared shitless. Down to my ankles.

165
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I couldn't even watch the trailer.
I don't like horror.

166
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They still talk about Stranger Things.

167
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"Watch it, it's got three seasons…"

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I don't wanna, I'm scared.
I get nightmares.

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"Watch it."

170
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There's ads on the highway,
Stranger Things, Stranger Things.

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"Watch it,

172
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there's a bald girl
that changes channels with her mind."

173
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I won't watch Stranger Things.

174
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They tried so hard that I went,

175
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"I can't be left behind.
I have to watch it."

176
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But I can't watch it alone,
so I ask my 12-year-old, Bianca.

177
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"Let's watch Stranger Things."
"It's scary."

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"Bianca, let's watch it."

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"I'll get nightmares."

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"Honey, grow up, don't be silly.
Let's watch it, it's fine."

181
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"Dad, it's scary."

182
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"I make the rules in this house,
we're watching Stranger Things."

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-[laughter]
-So I go and put on Stranger Things.

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I put it on.

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[gasps]

186
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We could only take one episode.

187
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-In broad daylight, in the afternoon.
-[laughter]

188
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And that night, "It's not real.

189
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Demogorgons are just rubber.
It's a show,"

190
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,009
said Bianca
until I trembled to sleep.

191
00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:49,719
I don't like horror movies.

192
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,181
I was thinking about my dad.

193
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He was an intense dude.
Intense in moving, in everything.

194
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,644
My old man is intense and anxious.

195
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,856
A volatile combination. Can't handle it.

196
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:04,358
He's unbearable. He's really intense.

197
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:07,153
Intense to the point
that he'll ask a question

198
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:08,863
and answer it himself.

199
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:10,156
Unbearable. "How're you doing?

200
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:11,824
[speaks fast] Good? Looks that way.

201
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,785
You weren't yesterday, but you are today.
I watched your video.

202
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,662
Is Bianca all right? Of course she is.

203
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:19,665
Will you record Serendipia for Netflix?
[honking]

204
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,042
Do the horn. People love it.

205
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:23,836
'Do the horn, Rada!', it's great.

206
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,838
Is Bianca studying medicine?"

207
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,132
"Dad, Bianca is 14. Stop it."

208
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,676
-[laughter]
-He won't let me talk, he's too intense.

209
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,679
He puts on his shoes before his socks.
Unbearable.

210
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,681
When he blows his nose,

211
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,309
he blows so hard
that we are always afraid

212
00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,478
he'll have a stroke
and be crippled. He goes…

213
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:41,395
[honks]

214
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,148
And his leg shoots back
from all the force.

215
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,359
He's intense. Too intense.

216
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:49,070
When my dad eats ice cream, he goes…

217
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:50,863
[sniffing]

218
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,073
Aaaagh!

219
00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:55,368
[laughter]

220
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:56,536
His brain freezes.

221
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,080
Until Mom comes
with a warm towel,

222
00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:00,164
he won't come back.

223
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,541
My dad is very intense.

224
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:05,169
I've got a story
that I tell my friends in asados,

225
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,421
it encapsulates him…
Should I tell it?

226
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,382
[Agustín] Yeah? No? Should I?

227
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:10,967
Yeah, I will. It's short.

228
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:13,386
I'm going off script for a bit,
but it's good.

229
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:16,973
My dad does pottery.
Makes things with clay, I dunno.

230
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,934
He's a creative guy,
always makes stuff with wood,

231
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:22,061
and I inherited
some of that woodworking.

232
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,439
A while back,
I visited him in Bahía Blanca.

233
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,401
I was having maté with Mom
and Dad says,

234
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,611
[speaks rapidly]
"Come over here, Agustín.

235
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,030
Come on, come here."

236
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,615
I walk over. "What's up, Dad?"

237
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:35,992
"Listen. You know what?"

238
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,493
"Slow down, I can't…"

239
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,661
"Listen to me.

240
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,580
For a while now,

241
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,999
I haven't had any ideas
for my pottery.

242
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,584
You're an artist--

243
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:49,338
I read that artists sometimes have
an incentive for imagination.

244
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,631
Do you have that?"

245
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:51,591
"I don't get it."

246
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,217
"Anything," he says.
"Dad?

247
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:56,304
[laughter, muffled conversation]

248
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,680
Are you…?

249
00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:00,433
Are you asking me for pot?"

250
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:02,101
"No! Mom will hear you!"

251
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:05,313
"Mom smokes, Dad.
She smokes with her friends in Monte.

252
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,356
Don't be silly,
don't ask for illegal stuff.

253
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,025
I don't have any, I don't use.

254
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,485
Really, I don't.

255
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,904
Besides, I'm a moderately
well-known guy,

256
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,531
I have to set an example.

257
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,533
I don't have pot, really.

258
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,243
[sniffing]

259
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,037
[giggling]

260
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,372
-Dad, Ruter came today…
-[laughter]

261
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,000
Do you know Ruter?
He's an old friend of mine.

262
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,919
He's a farmer, he has a garden,
he likes to explore.

263
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:32,298
He makes hybrids, mixes different plants,
tomatoes, basil,

264
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:35,384
and a little birdie
randomly brought him a seed

265
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,637
and he's got mountains of pot.

266
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,513
All the different strains:

267
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:43,142
kryptonite, mandurria, somba,
teque, puppy, rusca.

268
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:44,518
You'll get crazy high."

269
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,687
I say, "Dad, he brought me a jar.

270
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,230
Now, you gotta be careful.

271
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,899
You puff and you wait.

272
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,526
It's like fishing.
Cast your line and wait for the bite.

273
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,655
You gotta be careful
because you're very intense."

274
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,823
"No, what…"
"Dad, please."

275
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:01,077
I give him the jar
and return to Buenos Aires.

276
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,580
Afterwards, I was in Córdoba,
the capital,

277
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,167
doing a double show of a previous set
with the guys,

278
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,378
I go to my dressing room
between the shows,

279
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,004
pick up the phone,

280
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:16,509
and there's 12 missed calls
from my brother, who's in the USA,

281
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:18,594
and 14 missed calls from Mom.

282
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,553
[chuckling]

283
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,848
It was clear to me
that Dad had died tragically.

284
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,309
Otherwise, I'd have calls from him too.

285
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,478
I call my brother, and I'm thinking,

286
00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:31,273
"Did I say everything I wanted?
Did I really say goodbye?"

287
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,692
"Manuel, what happened?"

288
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,903
"Call Mom, Dad is going nuts."

289
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:37,905
"What's up, Mom?"

290
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:39,907
"What did you give your father?

291
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:42,451
He's high."
[gasping] I went like that.

292
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:46,330
From a distance I could hear
"Legalize marijuana!"

293
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,165
I could picture my dad running around.

294
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,792
I say, "Mom, calm down."

295
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,086
She says, "Agustín, do I call 911?"

296
00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:55,047
"No, Mom, there's like a pound
of pot there, we'll go to jail.

297
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,257
Even Bianca goes to jail.

298
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:58,008
Relax, Mom, please."

299
00:11:58,092 --> 00:11:59,176
"What about Dad?"

300
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,011
"Take him outside."
"He won't go."

301
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,596
"Throw out a biscuit, he'll go.

302
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,516
When he runs out
and starts walking around,

303
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,309
hose him down,
and when he comes to,

304
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:10,730
give him chocolate
or soda, something with lots of sugar.

305
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,607
The guys in the band told me
that sugar

306
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:16,569
breaks down the THC
and that'll sober him up.

307
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:17,486
See you later."

308
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,781
That's how intense my dad is.
Unbearable. So intense.

309
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:21,949
One time…

310
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,202
Hah! One time we moved

311
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,413
and the house was smaller
than the old one.

312
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:30,583
Unbearable. And my dad went,
"There's a room missing."

313
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,209
"Dad, you already saw it."

314
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,211
"But there's a room missing."

315
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,629
"We can't make another one."

316
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:39,049
"Why not? In the lightwell,
I can put in a beam, knock down a wall,

317
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,634
sheet metal, a window and a fan,

318
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,262
a computer, some paintings,
it's a new room."

319
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:46,265
"Dad, you can't make a new room
in the lightwell."

320
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:48,976
"Can't I?"
Two hours later, he was on the wall…

321
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:50,728
Bang, bang, bang!

322
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:54,190
Knock down it down, get the beam up,
the sheets.

323
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:57,943
A new room… in five hours.

324
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,446
Amazing. Wiring, lights…

325
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:02,198
[kissing] …all perfect.

326
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:05,367
And Mom, same as always,

327
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:09,622
cheering Dad on
with a maté in hand, saying,

328
00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:12,374
"Roberto, you're a moron.

329
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:16,212
We'll move in a year and a half.
This is just burning money."

330
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:17,129
[band plays]

331
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,298
♪ The kitchen is smaller ♪

332
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,966
♪ The bathroom is bigger ♪

333
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:24,637
♪ I'm nothing without a guarantor ♪

334
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,098
♪ And all the doormen are called Ramón ♪

335
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:31,519
♪ Every two years, I sing him this song ♪

336
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:35,856
♪ Come have dinner, but come early ♪

337
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:40,027
♪ I can't find anything, it's all packed ♪

338
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:43,322
♪ From the ground floor, I moved to 6° B ♪

339
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,075
♪ I can't find the key
Or I mixed it up again ♪

340
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,704
♪ A month for the deposit ♪

341
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:53,707
♪ One, or two, or three
For the commission ♪

342
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,754
♪ The guarantee better be from Capital ♪

343
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,423
♪ I can't imagine living here ♪

344
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,967
♪ No, no ♪

345
00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:06,887
♪ I don't believe in runes ♪

346
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:10,558
♪ I don't buy into tarot ♪

347
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:14,228
♪ Ludovica says
That in the Chinese calendar ♪

348
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:18,023
♪ I'm a tenant ♪

349
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,150
The harmonica. The harmonica.

350
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,236
I had one-- I had--

351
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:24,238
There's a box with harmonicas,

352
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,365
a recorder, a VHS--

353
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:29,201
Did you find…? I labeled it.

354
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,995
Oh, fuck off. [clears throat]

355
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:34,665
♪ I travel light, like the wind ♪

356
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:38,502
♪ I don't really have a flat ♪

357
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:42,506
♪ A ukulele, the bed, and the wardrobe ♪

358
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:45,426
♪ Every two years, I gotta move ♪

359
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:49,638
♪ I can't stand my neighbor ♪

360
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,850
♪ We don't talk, it's matter of skin ♪

361
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:57,354
♪ I hate her shitty little dog ♪

362
00:14:57,438 --> 00:15:00,190
♪ She hates me because I smoke pot ♪

363
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,817
It's my Dad! It's not my fault!

364
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,361
♪ I don't believe in runes ♪

365
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,404
♪ No ♪

366
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,782
♪ I don't buy into tarot ♪

367
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:13,162
♪ Ludovica says
That in the Chinese calendar ♪

368
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:17,458
♪ I'm a tenant ♪

369
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,169
[music trails off]

370
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:21,754
[cheering]

371
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:26,050
I like that Broadway ending
with the imaginary hat.

372
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:28,427
"The thing about moving with toys

373
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:32,640
is they have to be small
and portable enough

374
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,558
to fit in a box."

375
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,477
That's what my parents said.

376
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,770
I had two toys.

377
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:39,104
And I was happy with that.

378
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:43,192
I had a white ninja, and Rambo.

379
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,109
Hah!

380
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,070
You remember Rambo?

381
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:49,406
They were great, right?
I have it…

382
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,992
A Rambo with skinny jeans.

383
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,578
Those pants that didn't exist back then,

384
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:57,748
and Rambo had thick thighs
and a crotch this size.

385
00:15:57,831 --> 00:16:00,417
[exaggerated voice] "What's up, Rambo?
What's up, Rambo?

386
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:01,919
Train much?"

387
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:05,589
Arms this big, with the bandana,
all sweaty with long hair.

388
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,049
That Rambo was fine.

389
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,093
A sheathe with a long knife.

390
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,178
It was like another penis or something.

391
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,430
I looked at him and thought,
"Come here, Rambo."

392
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:14,640
[mouth popping]

393
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,809
"I'll kill you, bastard," says the ninja.

394
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,936
"I'm gonna slaughter you."
"Go, go, go!"

395
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:24,817
[making gun and explosion sounds]

396
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:25,776
[kissing]

397
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:28,445
They'd kiss a bit.

398
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,072
With the dolls.
You didn't do that?

399
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,449
You didn't flip him over
and give him some?

400
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,660
He was flexible,
could handle all positions.

401
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:37,121
-Some kama… 69? Nobody?
-[chuckling]

402
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:38,038
No?

403
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,039
No…

404
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:42,334
Never, man?
You never stuck a Rambo in your ass?

405
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,836
When you were 6 or 7? No?

406
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:45,838
[sniffing]

407
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:51,093
-I did. It was…
-[laughter]

408
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:54,096
Some self-discovery with dolls.

409
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:56,724
I was a bit obsessed with dolls and sex.

410
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,309
I hid Rambo and took him everywhere.

411
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:03,814
My cousin across the street,
Paula, had a different economic situation,

412
00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:07,026
had a truly amazing,
hegemonic doll house--

413
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,318
She had 14 dolls.

414
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,904
I took Rambo,
went to Paula's to play,

415
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,489
opened the door, snuck him in.

416
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:15,409
-"This is gonna get ugly," I thought.
-[laughter]

417
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,536
I came back
and Rambo was wearing make-up.

418
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:21,081
"Good, Rambo! So progressive."
And I took him back.

419
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:27,629
But neither Rambo or the dolls
or the white ninja mattered as much

420
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:31,550
as getting my parents to buy me
that thing I wanted so much.

421
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:32,468
I didn't get it.

422
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:37,014
It was simple, a simple toy.
I wanted nothing else.

423
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,266
I don't want a party,
I'll fast for a week--

424
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:40,893
"What do you…?" I wanted…

425
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:45,856
I wanted a plastic truck,
the unbreakable ones.

426
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:46,982
[sad music plays]

427
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:51,612
I dunno what they used,
but the USA army used it for tanks.

428
00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:52,654
[band members hum]

429
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,364
An unbreakable truck.

430
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:57,910
"Mom, buy me the truck.
Dad. I won't ask for anything else.

431
00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:00,621
Buy me the truck. The truck.

432
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:05,125
The truck, truck, truck…"

433
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:06,794
They didn't buy it.

434
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,545
They didn't. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

435
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:11,131
Still, I was very smart
for a six-year-old.

436
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,883
I thought, "I'll get my own

437
00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:16,345
unbreakable plastic truck."

438
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:19,264
I grabbed pen and paper and wrote,

439
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,808
"Dear Santa Claus,

440
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,768
I'd love it if this Christmas

441
00:18:22,851 --> 00:18:26,438
you'd bring me an unbreakable
plastic truck.

442
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,648
[upbeat music plays]

443
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:29,858
Love, Agustín Aristarán.

444
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:34,154
P.S. We moved three times this year.

445
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,198
Make sure it's the right house.

446
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,326
Love, Agustín Aristarán, times two."

447
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,245
I drew a Christmas tree,

448
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:44,248
some vitel toné, some cider,

449
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:48,836
and a lot of snow,
which definitely happens in Argentina.

450
00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:52,923
And I sent the letter the 22nd of August.

451
00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:55,217
I was a little anxious.
And I waited.

452
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,886
Waited in the living room where,

453
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:01,140
usually, the Christmas tree was put up.

454
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:06,645
Two days later, Mom says,

455
00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:08,939
"Agustín, your father and I talked

456
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:12,943
and we think the unbreakable truck
is a little expensive

457
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:14,278
for Santa Claus."

458
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,572
"Sons of bitches.

459
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:17,531
[music stops]

460
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:20,284
Are you looking through my mail?"

461
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:21,702
-I wrote again.
-[band plays]

462
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:22,870
"Dear Santa Claus,

463
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,622
Since the confidentiality
of my correspondence

464
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,416
is not respected in my house,

465
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,669
I'm sending this second letter
through other means.

466
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:33,672
Do you know Mariano Brancamonte,
my schoolmate?

467
00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:35,883
Blonde, dumb-looking,
sits behind me?

468
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:39,428
Last year, that kid was awful.

469
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,931
You still gave him a mountain bike
with 18 gears and a light.

470
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,601
And to me,
after being on my best behavior,

471
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:48,395
you gave an Incredible Hulk bubbler.

472
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:50,647
I hate you, Santa Claus.

473
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,816
I expect that this year, at midnight,

474
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:56,236
I'll get an unbreakable plastic truck

475
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,281
because otherwise
I'm torching your sled, your reindeer

476
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:00,908
and all your other crap.

477
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:02,326
Dick.

478
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:05,162
Love, Agustín Aristarán."

479
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,706
[blows] I sent the letter.

480
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:08,624
[music stops]

481
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:12,169
On December 24th
I woke up a little anxious.

482
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,671
[rapid speech] "Mom, where is he?
When is Santa coming?

483
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,423
It's the 24th, Santa is coming tonight.

484
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:18,592
When is he coming?
Where's Dad? Where?

485
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:20,636
Is he eating ice cream? Dad! Dad! Dad!"

486
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:21,970
"What? What? What? Aaah!"

487
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,431
-"Stop eating ice cream, Dad, please!
-[laughter]

488
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,434
How do we move this along?
I need Santa.

489
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:29,561
Let's put out peanuts." And we did.

490
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:30,729
"The cider is warm."

491
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,606
"Put it in the freezer!"
"Still warm."

492
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:35,734
"In the freezer!"
"Still warm! Still warm! Still warm!"

493
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,236
"Close the door!" And I did.

494
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:41,031
"Dad, did you buy firecrackers?"
"Yeah, look. Pow, pow, pow!"

495
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,324
"When's he coming?"
"Midnight."

496
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,784
"What time is it?"
"Midnight."

497
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,327
-[band plays]
-And there it was.

498
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:48,372
-[Agustín] The gift I was waiting for.
-[band members humming]

499
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,832
The unbreakable plastic truck!

500
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,044
I thought it was bigger.

501
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,089
Could it be?

502
00:20:58,757 --> 00:20:59,591
That's strange.

503
00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,970
Santa's handwriting
is the same as Mom's.

504
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,431
[band members humming]

505
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:13,272
I opened that box
like I was a stripper.

506
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:14,231
[music stops]

507
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,444
A magic box?

508
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:26,702
Santa,

509
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,037
are you illiterate or just dumb?

510
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:32,708
-I wrote "unbreakable plastic truck."
-[laughter]

511
00:21:34,251 --> 00:21:37,087
I don't want to be a magician.
I want to drive a dump truck

512
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:38,797
across the world.

513
00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:42,467
MAGIC
SHOW

514
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:43,760
"Become a magician.

515
00:21:45,053 --> 00:21:47,931
Instructions.
Disappear an egg in the red cup.

516
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:51,393
Take the red cup
and look at the audience."

517
00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:52,477
[silence]

518
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:55,188
There's no one here.

519
00:21:56,857 --> 00:21:59,401
"Open the cup, it will contain an egg.

520
00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:02,946
Remove the egg and show the empty cup.

521
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:04,948
[chuckling]

522
00:22:05,907 --> 00:22:09,995
Cover the cup, and place the egg
in your right pocket.

523
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:13,915
Look to the audience."

524
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:14,875
Still no one.

525
00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:21,506
"Snap your fingers
and say the magic words.

526
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,717
'Abraca…" Screw you, Santa.

527
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,595
"You'll see the egg
disappeared from your pocket

528
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,722
and reappeared in the--" No!

529
00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:30,307
[laughter]

530
00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:32,893
[cheering]

531
00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:36,813
No!

532
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:40,817
[exaggerated voice] No!

533
00:22:50,243 --> 00:22:52,079
-Appear, disappear.
-[band plays]

534
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:54,456
♪ Appear, disappear ♪

535
00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:56,708
♪ Appear, disappear ♪

536
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,835
♪ Long mustache, short mustache ♪

537
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:01,088
♪ Long mustache, short mustache ♪

538
00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:02,297
♪ Where's the egg? ♪

539
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:03,465
♪ Here it is ♪

540
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,509
♪ In the hand and now it's gone ♪

541
00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:06,843
♪ Where is it? ♪

542
00:23:06,927 --> 00:23:07,844
♪ Here it is ♪

543
00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:10,764
♪ It goes in the hand, take it out
Toss it, now it's in my nose ♪

544
00:23:10,847 --> 00:23:12,516
And just like that,

545
00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:14,434
in Bahía Blanca, at six years of age,

546
00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:16,144
a magician was born.

547
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,146
Rada, hey!

548
00:23:19,314 --> 00:23:20,190
Hoo!

549
00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:21,108
[music stops]

550
00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:23,151
-That's magic.
-[applause, cheers]

551
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,403
Thanks for the applause.

552
00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:26,738
I can feel the applause.

553
00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,657
I was out of control with magic.

554
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:31,243
Look at the handkerchief go.

555
00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:33,787
You saw that one coming, Pupi.

556
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:36,373
That's some magic.

557
00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:39,126
Whenever a relative came over,
what did Agus do?

558
00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:41,378
He'd regale them
with a marvelous magic show.

559
00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:44,798
And suddenly,
no more relatives visited.

560
00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:47,050
-[chuckling]
-I was obsessed with magic.

561
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:49,886
Dove, handkerchief, coin, stuff,

562
00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:52,973
cigars that appeared and disappeared.

563
00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:56,893
One relative always came over.
My grandma came for maté.

564
00:23:56,977 --> 00:24:00,230
"Grandma, I've got a great card trick.

565
00:24:00,313 --> 00:24:02,774
I've been practicing.
You won't believe it.

566
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:05,444
Grandma, look at the cards."
I take them out and shuffle.

567
00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:07,487
Pfft! And shuffle. Pfft!

568
00:24:07,571 --> 00:24:08,947
And shuffle. Pfft!

569
00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:11,366
"Pick any card,
it doesn't matter which.

570
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:14,035
Pick it, remember it,
put it back. Perfect."

571
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,620
I shuffle again and again.

572
00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:18,373
Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!

573
00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:20,167
I shuffle, a card goes flying. Ba!

574
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:22,752
I pick it up, toss it behind. Hoo!
Grab it again. Bing!

575
00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:24,463
"Grandma, your card."

576
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:26,173
"I don't remember."
Son of a bitch.

577
00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:27,257
-Old bitch.
-[laughter]

578
00:24:27,340 --> 00:24:29,593
You couldn't say 7 of Clubs?

579
00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:32,554
Eight of Diamonds, 4 of Capricorn,
5 of Batman.

580
00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:33,805
It's the same, who cares.

581
00:24:33,889 --> 00:24:34,890
[laughter]

582
00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:39,311
I went crazy over magic. Crazy.

583
00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:42,314
Ahh! I couldn't stop.
I was doing magic all day.

584
00:24:42,397 --> 00:24:45,484
I did magic at school,
at a friend's house,

585
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,486
while playing soccer.

586
00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:50,322
Even as a teenager, in asados,
I still did magic.

587
00:24:50,405 --> 00:24:51,323
"What do you want?"

588
00:24:51,406 --> 00:24:53,533
"Four of Diamonds!" I said.
"Oh, fuck off."

589
00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:57,037
I was crazy over magic, really crazy.

590
00:24:57,120 --> 00:25:00,582
My friend, Gonzalo, said to me,

591
00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:02,959
"Rada, you just do magic, right?"

592
00:25:03,043 --> 00:25:05,378
"Magic!" I say.
"A handkerchief!"

593
00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:06,671
A cage, a water heater.

594
00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:08,798
I was out of control with magic.

595
00:25:08,882 --> 00:25:12,469
"Don't you do anything else?"
"Magic, magic!"

596
00:25:12,552 --> 00:25:15,931
"Don't you like girls?
Don't you wanna get laid?"

597
00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:17,182
"You're right."

598
00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:18,099
[chuckling]

599
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:19,559
I hadn't had my first time.

600
00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:22,270
Never got laid. Ever.
Gotta get laid at 17.

601
00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:24,147
It says it right there, in Wikipedia!

602
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:26,900
[speaking fast] "Dad! Dad!"
"What's up? What's up? Ahhh!"

603
00:25:26,983 --> 00:25:27,901
[laughter]

604
00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:34,449
"Dad, listen, I need advice,
man to man.

605
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:37,369
I'm still a virgin. I need your help.
I don't know how.

606
00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:39,246
Dad, I wanna get laid,
I have an urge."

607
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:42,624
"What? You still haven't?
It's easy. How could you…?

608
00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:45,085
You talk to a guy or a girl,
whichever you like. Bing!

609
00:25:45,168 --> 00:25:47,712
You gotta have a drink,
touch each other--

610
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:49,005
Sorry, Son.

611
00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:51,466
I'm a brute, sorry.

612
00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:53,885
I thought you were your brother. Sorry.

613
00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:56,388
You're the younger one, right?
The magician?

614
00:25:56,471 --> 00:25:58,223
Forget it. Magicians don't get laid."

615
00:25:58,306 --> 00:25:59,516
[laughter]

616
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,729
And Dad was so right.

617
00:26:06,314 --> 00:26:07,649
Magicians don't get laid.

618
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:11,861
Some will say that magicians
are always…

619
00:26:11,945 --> 00:26:13,947
[grunting, laughing] No.

620
00:26:14,030 --> 00:26:15,031
Tsk, tsk, tsk.

621
00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:16,575
There's no way.

622
00:26:16,658 --> 00:26:17,909
There's two professions--

623
00:26:17,993 --> 00:26:21,705
The WHO says that two professions
have no chance of getting some.

624
00:26:21,788 --> 00:26:23,123
One are magicians,

625
00:26:23,206 --> 00:26:25,500
because we're morons
that do stupid things all day.

626
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,669
The other are chess players,

627
00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:30,380
because they accumulate swamp ass.

628
00:26:30,463 --> 00:26:33,300
It's impressive.
So we've got no shot at it.

629
00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:34,843
Listen to me.

630
00:26:34,926 --> 00:26:38,638
I say "magician," what do you picture?

631
00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:41,891
A Las Vegas magician. All made up.

632
00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:44,644
Gel, hair straight up.

633
00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:47,814
A belt buckle with four aces,

634
00:26:47,897 --> 00:26:49,733
a lot of shiny black,

635
00:26:49,816 --> 00:26:51,651
two panthers,
fans blowing wind at him…

636
00:26:51,735 --> 00:26:52,652
[blowing]

637
00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:53,820
…Las Vegas music.

638
00:26:53,903 --> 00:26:55,405
♪ Sing thing, some thing ♪

639
00:26:55,488 --> 00:26:56,740
♪ Baw, baw! ♪

640
00:26:56,823 --> 00:26:58,241
♪ Sing thing, some thing ♪

641
00:26:58,325 --> 00:26:59,576
♪ Buh, buh! ♪

642
00:26:59,659 --> 00:27:00,577
It's impressive.

643
00:27:00,660 --> 00:27:02,203
The girl comes in, his assistant,

644
00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,581
always after the magician,
never before.

645
00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:05,874
They're chauvinists.

646
00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:08,126
Assholes, idiots, and also chauvinists.

647
00:27:08,209 --> 00:27:09,961
The girl flips through the air,

648
00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:11,421
goes into a box this big.

649
00:27:11,504 --> 00:27:12,339
Poor thing.

650
00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:14,883
She contorts her way in there.

651
00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:15,884
♪ Sing thing, some ♪

652
00:27:15,967 --> 00:27:16,801
He grabs a spear.

653
00:27:16,885 --> 00:27:17,969
♪ Sing thing, some thing ♪

654
00:27:18,053 --> 00:27:19,387
Ahh! He stabs the spear.

655
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:20,639
♪ Sing thing, some thing ♪

656
00:27:20,722 --> 00:27:21,598
Picks up another.

657
00:27:21,681 --> 00:27:23,016
♪ Sing thing, some thing ♪

658
00:27:23,099 --> 00:27:25,393
He spits on her, shits on her,
lights her on fire.

659
00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:28,355
The girl comes out in another outfit,
who gets the applause?

660
00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:29,564
The fucking magician.

661
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,024
♪ Sing thing, some thing ♪

662
00:27:31,107 --> 00:27:34,277
[makes exploding sound]
No chance of getting laid there.

663
00:27:34,361 --> 00:27:37,572
If you have coffee with a magician,
listen to this.

664
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:41,201
You're having coffee and ask,
"What do you do?" "I'm a magician."

665
00:27:41,284 --> 00:27:44,245
Please, never go, "No way!"

666
00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:48,041
Because if you do, that's a trigger

667
00:27:48,124 --> 00:27:50,293
that starts a landfall of bullshit

668
00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:51,586
that he cannot control.

669
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:55,674
"You didn't know I'm a magician?
Please, look at this.

670
00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:58,176
I got your spoon, it's in my hand.

671
00:27:58,259 --> 00:28:00,512
Where is it? It's gone.
Where is it? Not here.

672
00:28:00,595 --> 00:28:01,471
[gagging]

673
00:28:01,554 --> 00:28:02,681
Here it is.

674
00:28:02,764 --> 00:28:04,808
Mmm. You liked that. I've got more.

675
00:28:04,891 --> 00:28:06,267
In the hand, it's gone.

676
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:09,104
Where is it? Here? Here? Here?

677
00:28:09,187 --> 00:28:11,189
No, here. Ho! In your ear. There!"

678
00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:13,483
-Latte in your ear, it's awkward.
-[laughter]

679
00:28:13,566 --> 00:28:16,736
But let's imagine, let's imagine

680
00:28:17,570 --> 00:28:18,905
that you liked him,

681
00:28:19,489 --> 00:28:21,324
or you're in a dry spell,

682
00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:24,202
so you go with the magician
somewhere more comfortable.

683
00:28:24,911 --> 00:28:27,831
Somewhere with less light.
Some other music.

684
00:28:28,915 --> 00:28:30,500
This will happen, I swear.

685
00:28:31,167 --> 00:28:33,962
[rapid speech] "Look, a bunch of condoms,
with different colors.

686
00:28:34,045 --> 00:28:35,630
Shuffle, shuffle. Pfft!

687
00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:37,173
Shuffle, shuffle. Pfft!

688
00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:39,551
Pick whichever condom you want,
any one, Grandma…

689
00:28:39,634 --> 00:28:40,510
I mean, girl.

690
00:28:40,593 --> 00:28:43,012
Pick one, any one.
Remember it. I'm not looking.

691
00:28:43,096 --> 00:28:45,724
I'll open it. What do you want, a dog?
Here, for you.

692
00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:48,017
[puffing]

693
00:28:48,351 --> 00:28:49,811
[barking]

694
00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:51,771
You want a dove? Look at this.

695
00:28:51,855 --> 00:28:52,814
Pfft! A dove.

696
00:28:52,897 --> 00:28:55,775
You want something more complex?
I see you like it.

697
00:28:55,859 --> 00:28:57,318
-I can tell you do.
-[band plays]

698
00:28:57,402 --> 00:29:00,071
This is the most complex one.
Come on, don't leave.

699
00:29:00,155 --> 00:29:01,698
I wanna get laid. Come on, sorry.

700
00:29:01,781 --> 00:29:04,075
I won't do any more magic.
Please, I'm sorry.

701
00:29:05,285 --> 00:29:08,037
♪ Astronaut, firefighter ♪

702
00:29:08,121 --> 00:29:10,039
♪ YouTuber, sailor ♪

703
00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:14,169
♪ Nobody wants to be a magician ♪

704
00:29:14,669 --> 00:29:19,424
♪ We need surgeons and lots of engineers ♪

705
00:29:19,507 --> 00:29:23,803
♪ Nobody wants to be a magician ♪

706
00:29:24,429 --> 00:29:28,683
♪ My dad told me, and he knows me ♪

707
00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:32,312
♪ Don't choose to be the magician ♪

708
00:29:32,395 --> 00:29:35,565
♪ Because magicians don't get laid ♪

709
00:29:35,648 --> 00:29:38,026
♪ Magicians don't get laid ♪

710
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:40,445
♪ Magicians don't get laid ♪

711
00:29:40,528 --> 00:29:43,823
♪ Magicians don't get laid
And never will, ha! ♪

712
00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:48,912
♪ Never will, hah! ♪

713
00:29:49,746 --> 00:29:50,580
Voilà!

714
00:29:53,541 --> 00:29:56,044
♪ I've got a disease ♪

715
00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:57,962
♪ Worse than measles ♪

716
00:29:58,463 --> 00:30:02,425
♪ A curse that's killing me
And won't pass on ♪

717
00:30:03,051 --> 00:30:06,638
♪ Up here, I might be the greatest ♪

718
00:30:08,097 --> 00:30:10,725
♪ But I will never get laid, no! ♪

719
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:13,144
♪ Because of magic ♪

720
00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:14,687
[Agustín] Huh!

721
00:30:19,192 --> 00:30:20,235
[Agustín] Hah!

722
00:30:31,037 --> 00:30:33,706
♪ Because magicians don't get laid ♪

723
00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:36,125
♪ Magicians don't get laid ♪

724
00:30:36,209 --> 00:30:38,586
♪ Magicians don't get laid ♪

725
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:41,089
♪ Magicians don't get laid, no, no, no! ♪

726
00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:43,383
♪ Magicians don't get laid ♪

727
00:30:43,466 --> 00:30:45,468
♪ Magicians don't get laid ♪

728
00:30:45,552 --> 00:30:48,137
♪ Because magicians don't get laid ♪

729
00:30:48,221 --> 00:30:51,474
♪ Magicians don't get laid
And never will ♪

730
00:30:54,143 --> 00:30:55,562
-[Agustín] Huh!
-[drums roll]

731
00:30:59,107 --> 00:31:00,024
[Agustín grunting]

732
00:31:00,108 --> 00:31:00,942
[music stops]

733
00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:01,985
Two things.

734
00:31:02,068 --> 00:31:03,820
I missed the light cue.

735
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:05,154
Three things.

736
00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:08,032
You forgot to open the lid,
that's when I disappear.

737
00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:09,993
Third thing, I crushed my balls.

738
00:31:10,076 --> 00:31:11,035
[laughter]

739
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:13,246
I crushed my balls.

740
00:31:13,997 --> 00:31:15,832
[Agustín wincing]
Fuck it.

741
00:31:18,126 --> 00:31:20,128
[grunting]

742
00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:21,838
I got excited. I got excited.

743
00:31:21,921 --> 00:31:23,298
[inhaling]

744
00:31:24,382 --> 00:31:25,300
[sighing]

745
00:31:25,383 --> 00:31:28,052
Usually I protect my balls,
since I was a kid.

746
00:31:28,136 --> 00:31:30,597
When I was 17, something happened
that I can't forget.

747
00:31:31,139 --> 00:31:32,223
[wincing]

748
00:31:32,307 --> 00:31:34,767
Ah! It's like a chill going down.

749
00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:37,896
That's better.

750
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:42,317
Squeezing your balls is indescribable.

751
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:43,902
I was 17 years old

752
00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:47,572
when this happened.

753
00:31:47,655 --> 00:31:50,199
I took a shower, naked, like always.

754
00:31:51,284 --> 00:31:55,038
I go into the shower, grab the soap,
look down and go,  "What's this?

755
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:56,581
How did this happen?"

756
00:31:57,457 --> 00:32:00,919
Listen. One of my balls,
one of my testicles,

757
00:32:01,002 --> 00:32:02,754
was substantially bigger.

758
00:32:02,837 --> 00:32:03,963
Not longer.

759
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:07,383
98% of men have one ball
that's longer than the other.

760
00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:09,719
In this case, it was way bigger.

761
00:32:09,802 --> 00:32:13,806
Picture a rather large tangerine,

762
00:32:13,890 --> 00:32:15,767
one of my balls was the size of it.

763
00:32:15,850 --> 00:32:18,978
When I was 17, you couldn't just Google

764
00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:21,481
"My ball is tangerine-sized,
what to do?"

765
00:32:21,564 --> 00:32:22,982
I go to my dad, "Dad."

766
00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:25,401
[speaks fast] "What's up? What's up? Ahh!"

767
00:32:25,485 --> 00:32:26,527
[laughter]

768
00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:29,697
"We need to talk
about your ice cream addiction.

769
00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:31,449
Listen, one of my balls is huge.

770
00:32:31,532 --> 00:32:34,410
"What do you mean? Are you crazy?
Show me your balls."

771
00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:35,995
I show him. [gasping]

772
00:32:36,079 --> 00:32:37,080
My dad goes, "Inés!"

773
00:32:37,163 --> 00:32:39,707
"Don't call her! This is man stuff!

774
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:41,751
I'm a teenager.
Take me to the ball-ogist."

775
00:32:41,834 --> 00:32:43,419
We went to the ball-ogist.

776
00:32:43,503 --> 00:32:45,254
"What's up, doc? How are you doing?"

777
00:32:45,338 --> 00:32:46,881
"What's going on?" he asks.

778
00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:48,716
"Something funny happened.

779
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,510
I got up, went to take a shower,

780
00:32:51,177 --> 00:32:54,013
and saw one of my testicles
is much larger."

781
00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:57,225
"Don't worry, relax. It's very normal.

782
00:32:57,308 --> 00:33:01,104
A testicle always swells
between ages 17 and 18.

783
00:33:01,187 --> 00:33:04,023
It'll go down over time.
It's hormonal."

784
00:33:04,107 --> 00:33:07,777
"You don't get it, chief.
It's way bigger than the other."

785
00:33:07,860 --> 00:33:09,362
"You're underestimating me.

786
00:33:09,445 --> 00:33:11,656
I look at balls all day,
I know what I'm saying."

787
00:33:11,739 --> 00:33:14,283
-[laughter]
-"One testicle swells and then goes down."

788
00:33:14,367 --> 00:33:17,078
"It's like a tangerine, doctor."
"Sorry?"

789
00:33:17,787 --> 00:33:18,830
"Like a tangerine."

790
00:33:18,913 --> 00:33:20,123
"It's orange?"
"A little."

791
00:33:20,206 --> 00:33:21,374
"Wrinkly?"
"Maybe."

792
00:33:21,457 --> 00:33:22,458
"Does it have seeds?"

793
00:33:22,542 --> 00:33:25,503
"I dunno, man,
it looks like a tangerine."

794
00:33:25,586 --> 00:33:27,171
"Show me." And I do. [gasps]

795
00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:29,590
He says, "Stay here.
Take your clothes off."

796
00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:31,801
He goes to get a stool.

797
00:33:31,884 --> 00:33:34,012
The stool of all urologists

798
00:33:34,095 --> 00:33:37,140
certified by the Urologist College

799
00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:41,644
buy exclusively in
Urologists-R-Us,

800
00:33:41,728 --> 00:33:44,647
in Warnes 743.

801
00:33:45,481 --> 00:33:47,650
In Buenos Aires.
I don't know where in Mexico.

802
00:33:47,734 --> 00:33:48,735
[inhaling]

803
00:33:48,818 --> 00:33:50,611
He says, "Take off your clothes."

804
00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:52,613
I leave the socks on.
"Socks too."

805
00:33:52,697 --> 00:33:55,158
I take them off. He puts on gloves.
[mouth pops]

806
00:33:55,241 --> 00:33:57,410
He looks at me and says, "Relax, Fabián."

807
00:33:57,493 --> 00:33:58,870
"Doctor, I'm not Fabián."

808
00:33:58,953 --> 00:34:01,873
"No, I'm Fabián, and I know myself."

809
00:34:01,956 --> 00:34:03,499
-He grabs my balls.
-[laughter]

810
00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:04,709
[female voice] Oh, no!

811
00:34:06,252 --> 00:34:09,464
He slightly squeezes each testicle.

812
00:34:09,547 --> 00:34:12,091
Of course, I felt it more on one of them.

813
00:34:12,175 --> 00:34:14,427
He says, "Flex a little."

814
00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:16,054
[grunting squeakily]

815
00:34:16,471 --> 00:34:17,346
"A little more."

816
00:34:17,430 --> 00:34:18,514
[grunting squeakily]

817
00:34:19,515 --> 00:34:20,433
"Just a bit more."

818
00:34:20,516 --> 00:34:21,809
[grunting squeakily]

819
00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:22,977
[chuckling]

820
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:25,146
He writes in a notebook.
[clears throat]

821
00:34:25,229 --> 00:34:28,066
"Testicular swelling.
Patient, Agustín Aristarán.

822
00:34:28,149 --> 00:34:30,902
Right testicle, 120 bars.

823
00:34:30,985 --> 00:34:34,030
Left, 177 bars."

824
00:34:35,114 --> 00:34:38,534
He lifts my healthy testicle,
and without warning, goes…

825
00:34:39,243 --> 00:34:40,703
[grunting] Ahh!

826
00:34:40,787 --> 00:34:41,871
[laughter]

827
00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:52,840
"Testicular oscillation, worrying."

828
00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:54,008
[inhaling]

829
00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:57,595
Then, something weird happened.

830
00:34:57,678 --> 00:34:58,930
Something very weird.

831
00:34:59,013 --> 00:35:00,848
He grabs my balls…

832
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:03,976
Listen, because it gets weird.

833
00:35:04,519 --> 00:35:06,020
Balls-to-the-wall weird.

834
00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:09,232
He grabs my balls,
doesn't look at them or me,

835
00:35:09,315 --> 00:35:14,320
and he seems to connect
telepathically to my balls.

836
00:35:14,403 --> 00:35:17,406
"Is he talking to my balls
with his mind?"

837
00:35:17,490 --> 00:35:21,410
Picture it. I'm 17, underage,
an old guy is holding my balls

838
00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:23,621
and talking to them mentally,
I didn't get it.

839
00:35:23,704 --> 00:35:25,289
I gotta call someone.

840
00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:27,333
I start screaming for my dad.

841
00:35:27,416 --> 00:35:28,918
I didn't understand anything.

842
00:35:29,418 --> 00:35:32,004
And then he starts talking to my balls.

843
00:35:32,088 --> 00:35:33,881
"What's up?"
[squeaky voice] "I'm good."

844
00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:35,424
"You?"
[squeaky voice] "Good."

845
00:35:35,508 --> 00:35:37,135
[squeaky voice speaks gibberish]

846
00:35:37,218 --> 00:35:38,970
I don't talk Ballinguese.

847
00:35:39,053 --> 00:35:42,265
Then, the guy goes and starts…

848
00:35:44,684 --> 00:35:45,768
not caressing them,

849
00:35:45,852 --> 00:35:49,564
but moving them around
like they were castanets.

850
00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:50,940
Doing it like this.

851
00:35:51,023 --> 00:35:52,441
[castanets tapping]

852
00:35:52,525 --> 00:35:55,778
[band plays Flamenco-style music]

853
00:35:56,612 --> 00:35:59,073
♪ Aiee! ♪

854
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:00,199
♪ Ohh! ♪

855
00:36:00,283 --> 00:36:03,870
♪ Aiee-ohh! ♪

856
00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:08,583
♪ Oh, what's wrong? ♪

857
00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:12,545
♪ What's wrong with these balls? ♪

858
00:36:13,504 --> 00:36:15,381
♪ What's wrong with these balls ♪

859
00:36:15,464 --> 00:36:20,219
♪ That look like a tangerine? ♪

860
00:36:20,303 --> 00:36:21,512
♪ Oh, what's wrong? ♪

861
00:36:21,596 --> 00:36:22,430
♪ Hey! ♪

862
00:36:22,513 --> 00:36:24,807
♪ What's wrong with these balls? ♪

863
00:36:25,391 --> 00:36:27,518
♪ What's wrong with these balls ♪

864
00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:31,063
♪That look like a tangerine? ♪

865
00:36:31,147 --> 00:36:33,316
Graciela, come here, take a picture.

866
00:36:33,399 --> 00:36:35,776
This is a textbook ball. Hey!

867
00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:39,280
This is great for our research.
Take a picture! Take a picture!

868
00:36:39,363 --> 00:36:45,870
♪ They look like a tangerine, muah! ♪

869
00:36:45,953 --> 00:36:47,747
The kiss might not have happened.

870
00:36:47,830 --> 00:36:49,123
[laughter]

871
00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:51,584
I was in shock.

872
00:36:51,667 --> 00:36:54,045
I start getting dressed, and he says,

873
00:36:54,128 --> 00:36:55,463
"Stay there, and stay naked."

874
00:36:55,546 --> 00:36:58,549
"What else is there?"
"Relax," he says.

875
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:00,218
"Start running."

876
00:37:00,301 --> 00:37:01,969
"What?"
"Start running."

877
00:37:02,762 --> 00:37:04,388
"Really."
"Start running."

878
00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:06,807
"Maybe if you dim the lights,
get some whiskey…"

879
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,935
"Start running." And I do. I do!

880
00:37:09,018 --> 00:37:10,436
"Don't cover yourself."
"I won't."

881
00:37:10,519 --> 00:37:13,314
I was shy. I keep running.
The guy took pictures and notes.

882
00:37:13,397 --> 00:37:15,483
"Stay in the middle and jump." I jump.

883
00:37:15,566 --> 00:37:18,527
And I realize as I was jumping,

884
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:21,572
because I'm trying not to think
about what's happening,

885
00:37:21,656 --> 00:37:24,325
I realize that the human body

886
00:37:24,408 --> 00:37:26,661
is a perfect machine
designed by aliens.

887
00:37:26,744 --> 00:37:27,578
It can't be.

888
00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:31,374
And I realize the reason
behind what I mentioned,

889
00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:35,294
that one testicle is longer
than the other in men.

890
00:37:36,337 --> 00:37:37,588
Why is that?

891
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:41,133
Because, if they were the same length,

892
00:37:41,217 --> 00:37:44,220
picture the neanderthals,

893
00:37:44,303 --> 00:37:46,973
when they had to go hunting,

894
00:37:47,056 --> 00:37:48,641
chasing a panther in the jungle.

895
00:37:48,724 --> 00:37:51,477
They were naked,
clothes hadn't been invented.

896
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:53,771
The guy runs, and maybe he has to jump.

897
00:37:53,854 --> 00:37:56,065
If they were the same length,
this would happen.

898
00:37:56,148 --> 00:37:58,567
-They'd slap each other, like clackers.
-[laughter]

899
00:37:58,651 --> 00:38:01,779
Since one is longer, it acts like a hinge.

900
00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:03,531
The human body is perfect.

901
00:38:04,323 --> 00:38:08,035
I'm jumping while imagining
I'm chasing a panther in the forest,

902
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:10,162
and the guy says, "We have to operate.

903
00:38:10,746 --> 00:38:12,873
You've got everything.
Your balls are a ruin.

904
00:38:13,374 --> 00:38:14,959
Hydrocele, varicocele,

905
00:38:15,042 --> 00:38:18,462
some phimosis,
a double inguinal hernia."

906
00:38:18,546 --> 00:38:19,588
Oh, for fuck's…

907
00:38:19,672 --> 00:38:21,799
A week later, they operated on my balls.
They did…

908
00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:22,758
[kissing]

909
00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:25,469
…what they could,
there was a lot going on.

910
00:38:25,553 --> 00:38:27,305
There I was, my balls like Tetris blocks,

911
00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:28,597
and I'm back to my life.

912
00:38:28,681 --> 00:38:31,559
Before discharging me, he goes,
"One more thing, Agustín.

913
00:38:32,435 --> 00:38:36,063
This takes about six months
to heal internally.

914
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:39,942
I need you not to have intercourse for…

915
00:38:40,026 --> 00:38:42,278
-Oh, you're a magician. Never mind."
-[laughter]

916
00:38:42,862 --> 00:38:45,740
So with that in mind,
my balls operated and me being a magician,

917
00:38:45,823 --> 00:38:47,742
I wasn't getting laid, so I go to work

918
00:38:47,825 --> 00:38:50,953
as a magician, and work with a will.

919
00:38:51,537 --> 00:38:54,915
I started off in kids' parties,
making some change,

920
00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:58,419
one party leads to another,
then a school, a kindergarten.

921
00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:01,797
Then I did a quinceañera, a wedding,

922
00:39:01,881 --> 00:39:04,925
something at a company,
working and making money.

923
00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:09,096
All under the table, no receipts,
I was a minor so I pocketed everything,

924
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:10,264
all the bills stacked.

925
00:39:10,348 --> 00:39:12,183
A friend goes, "Let's buy beer."

926
00:39:12,266 --> 00:39:13,267
"Here, Rada's got it.

927
00:39:13,351 --> 00:39:17,480
What else? Some chocolate?
I'll get them too."

928
00:39:17,563 --> 00:39:19,690
I was the only magician in Bahía Blanca.

929
00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:20,608
I was popular.

930
00:39:20,691 --> 00:39:22,318
We drove out the competition.

931
00:39:22,401 --> 00:39:23,944
My friends beat them up.

932
00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:25,654
"You want some of this?"

933
00:39:25,738 --> 00:39:27,740
We killed the rabbits,
messed up the cards.

934
00:39:27,823 --> 00:39:29,367
"Try finding the 7 of Clubs.

935
00:39:29,450 --> 00:39:30,826
Piece of shit, hit the road."

936
00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:34,914
I keep on working,
get some serious money,

937
00:39:34,997 --> 00:39:37,416
start helping out, bing, bing,
move to Buenos Aires.

938
00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:39,460
I had a tough time there,
but it picked up.

939
00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:42,922
Parties, kids parties, adult parties.

940
00:39:43,005 --> 00:39:44,882
I start working.
Magicians recognize me.

941
00:39:44,965 --> 00:39:47,218
I'm respected in the magic world.

942
00:39:47,301 --> 00:39:49,637
"Rada." "Yeah." Whatever. Fine.

943
00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:52,765
Chile, Uruguay, Mexico, Colombia,
I start earning in dollars.

944
00:39:52,848 --> 00:39:56,102
[exaggerated voice] I was raking it in.
What? I had it all here.

945
00:39:56,185 --> 00:39:58,646
You want dollars? Here you go.
Bing, bing, bing!

946
00:39:58,729 --> 00:40:00,439
All still under the table.

947
00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:02,274
It was all going great,

948
00:40:02,358 --> 00:40:05,069
I was making good money,
felt good, comfortable, but something…

949
00:40:05,152 --> 00:40:07,196
[quavering] …something didn't…

950
00:40:08,447 --> 00:40:09,615
I didn't feel right.

951
00:40:10,533 --> 00:40:12,201
Something in my chest

952
00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:14,203
went…

953
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:17,289
[gasping]

954
00:40:17,373 --> 00:40:18,249
Doctor,

955
00:40:19,083 --> 00:40:20,376
I don't… [quavering]

956
00:40:20,459 --> 00:40:22,211
I don't feel good, doctor.

957
00:40:23,170 --> 00:40:26,048
[crying, gasping]
Everything is all right, and suddenly

958
00:40:26,132 --> 00:40:28,634
I just start crying, doctor.

959
00:40:31,137 --> 00:40:33,222
[gasping] I don't know if it has--

960
00:40:33,305 --> 00:40:34,849
I don't know if…

961
00:40:36,725 --> 00:40:39,770
[crying] I don't know if--
Sorry, I can't talk.

962
00:40:43,566 --> 00:40:44,650
[quavering]

963
00:40:45,901 --> 00:40:47,111
[sobbing]

964
00:40:47,570 --> 00:40:48,904
Just a moment, doctor.

965
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:51,365
It'll pass, it'll pass.

966
00:40:53,409 --> 00:40:54,243
[gasps]

967
00:40:54,326 --> 00:40:57,246
I meant, I don't know
if there's a name for this.

968
00:40:59,707 --> 00:41:03,252
I know you've studied for this,
but I'm in the street--

969
00:41:03,335 --> 00:41:04,920
Everything is all right.

970
00:41:07,673 --> 00:41:09,091
My life is all right.

971
00:41:11,343 --> 00:41:13,804
[voice squeaking] I chased my dreams,
caught them.

972
00:41:13,888 --> 00:41:15,931
I work doing what I love.

973
00:41:18,767 --> 00:41:21,103
[gasps]
Everything they told me would happen

974
00:41:21,187 --> 00:41:22,980
in the comics, happened.

975
00:41:23,063 --> 00:41:23,898
It's all right.

976
00:41:27,568 --> 00:41:29,945
But I'm in the street,
I see a dog pooping

977
00:41:30,029 --> 00:41:31,405
and I start crying, doctor.

978
00:41:31,489 --> 00:41:32,364
[laughter]

979
00:41:33,532 --> 00:41:34,909
It's very unstable.

980
00:41:36,785 --> 00:41:38,078
I've got work,

981
00:41:38,621 --> 00:41:39,788
I make money.

982
00:41:40,873 --> 00:41:44,668
My peers tell me, "Good job," cheer me on.
[crying]

983
00:41:45,961 --> 00:41:48,380
I can't enjoy it, doctor. Look at me.

984
00:41:49,215 --> 00:41:51,967
[gasping]

985
00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:54,678
I feel the pressure
of having to make more money,

986
00:41:54,762 --> 00:41:57,056
I got into the rat race--

987
00:41:57,139 --> 00:41:58,766
Money, money, money.

988
00:41:58,849 --> 00:42:00,893
"What do you want, a pool, a yacht?"

989
00:42:00,976 --> 00:42:03,646
I could never buy a yacht,
where would I put it?

990
00:42:03,729 --> 00:42:05,105
-[laughter]
-Where?

991
00:42:06,398 --> 00:42:08,609
[gasping] I feel-- I feel--

992
00:42:08,692 --> 00:42:11,028
Do you know Prince Charles?

993
00:42:11,111 --> 00:42:12,488
Poor thing, have you seen him?

994
00:42:12,571 --> 00:42:15,574
Every time he's on camera,
he's twitching his ear, asking for help.

995
00:42:15,658 --> 00:42:16,825
He's completely lost.

996
00:42:16,909 --> 00:42:19,787
They tell him what to do, how to dress.

997
00:42:19,870 --> 00:42:21,664
All the time.

998
00:42:21,747 --> 00:42:24,625
I feel that pressure
is telling me what to do.

999
00:42:24,708 --> 00:42:27,294
They tell him what to do, how to dress.

1000
00:42:27,378 --> 00:42:30,714
Who tells you that, Agustín?
Why do you feel this way?

1001
00:42:30,798 --> 00:42:32,383
My dad, doctor.

1002
00:42:32,925 --> 00:42:33,926
Right?

1003
00:42:34,510 --> 00:42:36,470
What do you think, doctor?

1004
00:42:36,554 --> 00:42:41,392
Do you think that magic box from Santa
was free?

1005
00:42:41,475 --> 00:42:43,852
[speech rapid] They did it
so I'd be a magician.

1006
00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:45,896
What does the world need? Magicians.

1007
00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:49,358
Get a job, get some money,
it's obvious, doctor.

1008
00:42:52,444 --> 00:42:55,155
Pardon me for saying this, Agustín…

1009
00:42:55,823 --> 00:42:59,535
Uh…

1010
00:42:59,618 --> 00:43:00,828
but…

1011
00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:05,916
no mother or father
wants their child to be a magician.

1012
00:43:11,797 --> 00:43:13,382
Oh, doctor…

1013
00:43:14,883 --> 00:43:16,927
You laid it on me.

1014
00:43:17,511 --> 00:43:18,596
You're right.

1015
00:43:20,889 --> 00:43:22,391
I'm an idiot, doctor.

1016
00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:24,226
[sighing]

1017
00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:26,854
Such an idiot.

1018
00:43:26,937 --> 00:43:28,397
I'm a complete idiot, doctor.

1019
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:29,523
Sorry, I'm--

1020
00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:32,026
Why aren't you writing this down?

1021
00:43:32,109 --> 00:43:34,987
Agustín Aristarán is an idiot.
That's the diagnosis.

1022
00:43:35,070 --> 00:43:35,988
That's it, doctor.

1023
00:43:36,071 --> 00:43:39,158
-I don't want it, because what've I done?
-[band plays jazz-style]

1024
00:43:39,241 --> 00:43:41,410
Worked my ass off. And I don't want it.

1025
00:43:41,493 --> 00:43:45,164
[speaks rapidly] I don't want a voice
driving me around like Charles.

1026
00:43:45,247 --> 00:43:47,291
I don't want it, doctor.

1027
00:43:47,374 --> 00:43:50,586
[sobs] Give me some pills,
because I don't know what to do.

1028
00:43:50,669 --> 00:43:54,006
♪ I don't what to be Charles, no ♪

1029
00:43:54,506 --> 00:43:57,760
♪ I don't want to be more than you ♪

1030
00:43:57,843 --> 00:44:01,388
♪ I don't what to be Charles, no ♪

1031
00:44:01,972 --> 00:44:04,683
♪ I want to choose who I am ♪

1032
00:44:04,767 --> 00:44:05,893
Doctor, how are you?

1033
00:44:05,976 --> 00:44:07,811
I started taking the pills last week.

1034
00:44:07,895 --> 00:44:09,688
All three, morning, afternoon, evening.

1035
00:44:09,772 --> 00:44:11,065
Oh, doctor!

1036
00:44:11,148 --> 00:44:14,234
The one in the morning
gives me such energy!

1037
00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:15,444
Oh, doctor.

1038
00:44:15,527 --> 00:44:18,405
Sometimes my phone runs out of battery,
I just stand next to it

1039
00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:19,948
and it charges right up.

1040
00:44:20,032 --> 00:44:21,116
So much energy.

1041
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,495
I get up, 75° high, 70° low.

1042
00:44:24,578 --> 00:44:25,537
Oh, doctor.

1043
00:44:25,621 --> 00:44:28,957
The birds are singing
and everything is great, great, great!

1044
00:44:29,041 --> 00:44:32,628
Now, when I take the afternoon pill,

1045
00:44:32,711 --> 00:44:34,421
I'm doing fine and suddenly…

1046
00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:35,422
[music stops]

1047
00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:42,513
[silence]

1048
00:44:44,723 --> 00:44:47,226
[Agustín grunting]

1049
00:44:51,522 --> 00:44:52,439
[snorting]

1050
00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:54,149
[giggling]

1051
00:44:55,401 --> 00:44:56,944
[gasping]

1052
00:44:57,027 --> 00:44:58,904
-I get a little stuck.
-[band plays]

1053
00:44:58,987 --> 00:45:01,699
But when I take the evening pill--
Oh, doctor,

1054
00:45:01,782 --> 00:45:03,659
the evening pill, doctor…

1055
00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:07,579
Oh, doctor, the evening pill, doctor.

1056
00:45:07,663 --> 00:45:09,665
Oh, doctor!

1057
00:45:09,748 --> 00:45:12,835
The next day I'm like this,

1058
00:45:12,918 --> 00:45:14,294
all pilled-up,

1059
00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:17,381
I look to the side and Rambo's there.

1060
00:45:17,464 --> 00:45:19,883
"Hey, Rambo. How are you doing?"

1061
00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:23,011
I stroked Rambo, doctor.

1062
00:45:23,095 --> 00:45:23,929
Hah!

1063
00:45:25,973 --> 00:45:27,266
"What do you want, Pupi?"

1064
00:45:27,349 --> 00:45:28,475
[chuckling]

1065
00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,853
Why don't I take that pill every day?

1066
00:45:30,936 --> 00:45:32,938
I feel good. How do I look? [sniffs]

1067
00:45:33,021 --> 00:45:34,148
I feel good, right?

1068
00:45:34,231 --> 00:45:35,983
[laughing]

1069
00:45:36,066 --> 00:45:36,900
Hey!

1070
00:45:36,984 --> 00:45:40,237
♪ I don't what to be Charles, no ♪

1071
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:44,158
♪ I don't want to be more than you ♪

1072
00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:47,995
♪ I don't what to be Charles, no ♪

1073
00:45:48,078 --> 00:45:50,831
♪ I want to choose who I am ♪

1074
00:45:50,914 --> 00:45:54,460
Doctor, the pills balanced out,
I'm doing pretty good.

1075
00:45:54,543 --> 00:45:56,670
Listen, this happened the other day.

1076
00:45:56,754 --> 00:45:59,757
I went to the Japanese dry cleaner
in Charcas and Uriarte.

1077
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:02,301
I take my magician suit,

1078
00:46:02,384 --> 00:46:05,262
"Did you clean it?
I'll pay you next week."

1079
00:46:05,345 --> 00:46:06,889
We're friends. He cleans my suits.

1080
00:46:06,972 --> 00:46:09,683
I get to the show. Can you believe
he mixed up the suits?

1081
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:12,561
He gave me another suit.
A completely white one.

1082
00:46:12,644 --> 00:46:16,231
Pants, jacket, shirt, bow tie,
all white, it was embarrassing.

1083
00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:18,233
I had to do the show, so I put it on,

1084
00:46:18,317 --> 00:46:20,235
go out, they laugh,

1085
00:46:20,319 --> 00:46:22,946
"Sorry," I dunno, "White is back in!"
[laughing]

1086
00:46:23,030 --> 00:46:24,948
"I look like a Q-Tip."

1087
00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:28,368
I wrap up the show,
a girl comes over and says,

1088
00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:31,246
"Hi. Do you have some ice pops,
or choc ice?"

1089
00:46:31,330 --> 00:46:32,498
Whoa!

1090
00:46:32,581 --> 00:46:34,875
My girlfriend.
We've been going out for ten days.

1091
00:46:34,958 --> 00:46:35,834
What do you think?

1092
00:46:35,918 --> 00:46:39,671
♪ I don't what to be Charles, no ♪

1093
00:46:39,755 --> 00:46:43,425
♪ I don't want to be more than you ♪

1094
00:46:43,509 --> 00:46:47,012
♪ I don't what to be Charles, no ♪

1095
00:46:47,095 --> 00:46:50,349
♪ I want to choose who I am ♪

1096
00:46:50,432 --> 00:46:52,851
Doctor, I went back to the dry cleaner.

1097
00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:54,394
Two weeks later, I went back,

1098
00:46:54,478 --> 00:46:57,064
"I don't know if to slap you or hug you.

1099
00:46:57,147 --> 00:46:58,690
You changed my life, man.

1100
00:46:58,774 --> 00:47:00,692
You gave me the suit,
I met my girlfriend,

1101
00:47:00,776 --> 00:47:03,612
it's been three months,
we've moved in together, it's great."

1102
00:47:03,695 --> 00:47:05,364
You know what he said?

1103
00:47:05,447 --> 00:47:07,741
He said something to me. Poof!

1104
00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:09,618
Listen. He looks at me and says…

1105
00:47:09,701 --> 00:47:12,454
[speaking gibberish]

1106
00:47:12,538 --> 00:47:13,872
[laughter]

1107
00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:17,918
Do you speak Japanese? Me neither.

1108
00:47:18,001 --> 00:47:19,878
But what I believe he said was,

1109
00:47:19,962 --> 00:47:22,548
"Sometimes,

1110
00:47:22,631 --> 00:47:24,091
life gives you lemons."

1111
00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:26,051
[laughter]

1112
00:47:26,134 --> 00:47:27,886
I was speechless, doctor.

1113
00:47:27,970 --> 00:47:31,890
Between the suit,
the pills, the cleaner, you know what?

1114
00:47:31,974 --> 00:47:35,060
I'm discharging myself. No more pills.

1115
00:47:35,143 --> 00:47:37,563
You, Freud and Deleuze
can suck my balls,

1116
00:47:37,646 --> 00:47:39,356
I won't take anything else, I'm free.

1117
00:47:39,439 --> 00:47:41,859
Nothing tying me down,
I got a girlfriend.

1118
00:47:41,942 --> 00:47:44,987
♪ I don't what to be Charles, no ♪

1119
00:47:45,779 --> 00:47:49,074
♪ I don't want to be more than you ♪

1120
00:47:49,575 --> 00:47:52,619
♪ I don't what to be Charles, no ♪

1121
00:47:53,203 --> 00:47:54,496
♪ I want to choose… ♪

1122
00:47:54,580 --> 00:47:58,792
[singing without words]

1123
00:47:58,876 --> 00:48:00,210
Hi, honey. How are you?

1124
00:48:00,294 --> 00:48:03,881
Yeah, I was singing.
I'm happy, I was singing.

1125
00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:04,923
What happened?

1126
00:48:05,632 --> 00:48:08,719
I told the doctor to fuck off,
I'm not taking anything else.

1127
00:48:09,303 --> 00:48:10,387
What?

1128
00:48:11,054 --> 00:48:11,972
Positive?

1129
00:48:12,055 --> 00:48:13,056
[music stops]

1130
00:48:16,143 --> 00:48:17,060
Ooh.

1131
00:48:17,978 --> 00:48:19,897
Two months? Oh, shit…

1132
00:48:20,814 --> 00:48:21,648
Posi--

1133
00:48:22,274 --> 00:48:23,400
But positive--

1134
00:48:23,483 --> 00:48:25,235
Positive is always good, right?

1135
00:48:26,987 --> 00:48:27,863
Oh.

1136
00:48:30,365 --> 00:48:31,450
How did this happen?

1137
00:48:32,242 --> 00:48:34,745
[chuckling]
Right, I know how it happened.

1138
00:48:34,828 --> 00:48:36,830
-I remember clearly.
-[laughter]

1139
00:48:36,914 --> 00:48:37,998
Yes, honey.

1140
00:48:38,081 --> 00:48:41,293
No, I was just singing,
I didn't expect…

1141
00:48:42,544 --> 00:48:45,923
My phone didn't remind me
I had life-changing news coming.

1142
00:48:46,590 --> 00:48:47,424
Yeah.

1143
00:48:47,925 --> 00:48:51,178
I'll be there, honey. I'm going.
I just had to sit down.

1144
00:48:51,261 --> 00:48:52,346
[laughter]

1145
00:48:52,429 --> 00:48:54,765
Eh? Yeah. Yeah.

1146
00:48:55,432 --> 00:48:56,808
I'll be right there.

1147
00:48:56,892 --> 00:49:00,103
I'll go back to the doctor,
apologize and take the pills.

1148
00:49:00,187 --> 00:49:02,564
I'll come down in two months, honey.

1149
00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:03,607
Yeah, yeah--

1150
00:49:04,107 --> 00:49:07,152
Bye. Kiss your belly for me.
[chuckling]

1151
00:49:07,235 --> 00:49:08,445
It's weird, yeah.

1152
00:49:09,321 --> 00:49:10,656
Bye, bye.

1153
00:49:17,496 --> 00:49:18,372
[coughs]

1154
00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:22,501
Cold.

1155
00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:25,212
And windy.

1156
00:49:27,589 --> 00:49:30,258
Twenty-one years old,
and I've been told, "You'll be a dad!"

1157
00:49:30,342 --> 00:49:31,259
[gasping]

1158
00:49:31,343 --> 00:49:33,887
Still, I was always pragmatic,
even as a kid.

1159
00:49:33,971 --> 00:49:35,681
The nine months weren't complicated.

1160
00:49:35,764 --> 00:49:39,267
We'd moved in together
into a one bedroom apartment.

1161
00:49:40,018 --> 00:49:43,397
And the nine months
were very simple there.

1162
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,482
I took care of two things,

1163
00:49:45,565 --> 00:49:48,944
taking care of my daughter's mother,
making sure she had everything,

1164
00:49:49,027 --> 00:49:50,570
and the second thing

1165
00:49:50,654 --> 00:49:52,531
was locking myself in the bathroom,

1166
00:49:52,614 --> 00:49:55,325
getting naked and crying,
kneeling next to the toilet,

1167
00:49:55,409 --> 00:49:58,453
taking some drugs to ignore the situation,

1168
00:49:58,537 --> 00:50:01,123
because I was afraid.
I was gonna be a dad.

1169
00:50:01,206 --> 00:50:03,166
"I wanna be Charles."
"You're gonna be a dad."

1170
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:04,960
"What? Fuck off."

1171
00:50:05,627 --> 00:50:06,670
I was afraid.

1172
00:50:07,254 --> 00:50:08,630
How could I not be?

1173
00:50:09,715 --> 00:50:14,553
But on February 22, 2006,
at 14:30, everything changed.

1174
00:50:14,636 --> 00:50:16,263
I was in the delivery room.

1175
00:50:16,346 --> 00:50:18,724
My daughter's mom
was doing a monumental effort.

1176
00:50:18,807 --> 00:50:21,518
-[dramatic music plays]
-"Honey, I can't believe it."

1177
00:50:21,601 --> 00:50:23,520
And I was cheering her on.

1178
00:50:23,603 --> 00:50:24,980
"We're all gonna die!

1179
00:50:25,063 --> 00:50:27,149
I hope we fucking die, honey.

1180
00:50:27,232 --> 00:50:29,776
I hope a hurricane
carries us off!

1181
00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:31,361
I just don't know!"

1182
00:50:31,445 --> 00:50:34,156
At that moment,
the room's doors opened.

1183
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:36,116
A brilliant shaft of light came in.

1184
00:50:36,199 --> 00:50:39,286
And on that shaft,
some unicorns ran

1185
00:50:39,369 --> 00:50:41,705
with some hummingbirds,

1186
00:50:41,788 --> 00:50:43,832
and the unicorns were crapping

1187
00:50:43,915 --> 00:50:46,793
rose petals everywhere that spelled

1188
00:50:46,877 --> 00:50:49,004
"happiness," "fun,"

1189
00:50:49,087 --> 00:50:50,464
"infinite love."

1190
00:50:51,423 --> 00:50:54,301
My daughter Bianca was born.

1191
00:50:55,135 --> 00:50:57,846
-"Oh, my daughter!
-[band members singing in Spanish]

1192
00:50:57,929 --> 00:50:59,765
We'll be so happy!

1193
00:51:00,724 --> 00:51:02,476
All you lay your eyes on is yours.

1194
00:51:02,559 --> 00:51:04,436
A one bedroom apartment,

1195
00:51:04,519 --> 00:51:07,230
a lot of magic tricks and a ukulele.

1196
00:51:07,314 --> 00:51:09,232
My daughter, I love you!"

1197
00:51:09,316 --> 00:51:11,985
[mimicking a monkey]

1198
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,405
-Everything immediately changed.
-[music stops]

1199
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:17,616
We moved to a bigger house.

1200
00:51:17,699 --> 00:51:19,785
Bought our first property.

1201
00:51:19,868 --> 00:51:22,329
It was barely bigger,
but we were happy,

1202
00:51:22,412 --> 00:51:25,749
Bianca was running,
we put the house together and moved.

1203
00:51:25,832 --> 00:51:27,918
I'd been taught in the ways
of quick moving.

1204
00:51:28,001 --> 00:51:29,002
[laughter]

1205
00:51:29,086 --> 00:51:31,505
The house was smaller
than we thought.

1206
00:51:31,588 --> 00:51:34,633
We were missing a room.
"There's nowhere it can fit, Agustín."

1207
00:51:34,716 --> 00:51:36,927
"Why not? Just knock down a wall and--"

1208
00:51:37,010 --> 00:51:39,596
"Honey, stop it, it's impossible."

1209
00:51:39,679 --> 00:51:42,891
Two hours later, on the wall: bang, bang!

1210
00:51:42,974 --> 00:51:44,351
On it. "I'm my dad!

1211
00:51:44,434 --> 00:51:46,686
[roaring] Bring me ice cream!"

1212
00:51:46,770 --> 00:51:48,146
-[laughter]
-Out of control.

1213
00:51:48,230 --> 00:51:50,857
Five hours later, a whole room. Phew!

1214
00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:54,694
"Honey, I'll hang the picture
I always wanted in my first home."

1215
00:51:54,778 --> 00:51:55,862
"We have to talk."

1216
00:51:55,946 --> 00:51:58,615
"Give me a second.
Heat some water for the maté."

1217
00:51:58,698 --> 00:51:59,908
"Let's not. Come on."

1218
00:51:59,991 --> 00:52:01,368
I grab the picture, hang it.

1219
00:52:01,451 --> 00:52:03,286
"What's up, honey?

1220
00:52:03,370 --> 00:52:04,788
"We have to split up."

1221
00:52:04,871 --> 00:52:05,705
Huh?

1222
00:52:09,626 --> 00:52:11,044
"I can take the picture down.

1223
00:52:13,964 --> 00:52:14,923
What?

1224
00:52:15,006 --> 00:52:16,424
We have to split up?

1225
00:52:22,055 --> 00:52:23,515
Fine, we have to split up.

1226
00:52:23,598 --> 00:52:26,643
[exaggerated voice] It's fine,
I'll fuck off, whatever.

1227
00:52:26,726 --> 00:52:28,728
Fine by me. I'll pack my bags now.

1228
00:52:29,354 --> 00:52:31,148
You want me to? I'll pack my bags.

1229
00:52:31,648 --> 00:52:32,983
I will, it's fine.

1230
00:52:33,567 --> 00:52:35,026
Should I? I'll pack my bags.

1231
00:52:35,610 --> 00:52:39,072
I'll pack my bags.
Going once, going twice,

1232
00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:41,449
going, going--"

1233
00:52:41,533 --> 00:52:42,826
And Bianca says, "Gone."

1234
00:52:42,909 --> 00:52:45,453
-"No, honey!" We had to move.
-[jazz music plays]

1235
00:52:45,537 --> 00:52:47,289
I went back to a one bedroom apartment.

1236
00:52:47,372 --> 00:52:49,374
It's cold. And windy.

1237
00:52:49,457 --> 00:52:50,292
With my bag.

1238
00:52:50,792 --> 00:52:53,044
I closed the door.
The shot is panning out.

1239
00:52:54,838 --> 00:52:55,964
WIth my bag.

1240
00:52:56,715 --> 00:53:00,093
One week with me, one with her mom.
Always the same.

1241
00:53:00,969 --> 00:53:04,306
The first week was crazy,
so much responsibility.

1242
00:53:04,389 --> 00:53:07,434
I have to feed her every day, bathe her,

1243
00:53:07,517 --> 00:53:11,021
tell her life is wonderful
and the world is shit.

1244
00:53:11,104 --> 00:53:13,899
All of it was on me.
Bianca was three.

1245
00:53:13,982 --> 00:53:16,151
What do I do? How do I…? No.

1246
00:53:18,612 --> 00:53:21,781
She couldn't die on me.
If she did, I lost.

1247
00:53:21,865 --> 00:53:23,241
No! I took care of her.

1248
00:53:24,075 --> 00:53:27,120
It was nice, we played a lot.

1249
00:53:27,204 --> 00:53:28,205
All the time.

1250
00:53:28,288 --> 00:53:30,957
"Here comes Bianca walking!
How cute!

1251
00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:32,500
Comes around, passes the table.

1252
00:53:32,584 --> 00:53:34,211
Passes the broom, still coming.

1253
00:53:34,294 --> 00:53:35,253
She made it!

1254
00:53:35,337 --> 00:53:36,463
Goal!

1255
00:53:36,546 --> 00:53:40,592
Thanks Mom for making me Argentinian
when Bianca was around!"

1256
00:53:40,675 --> 00:53:42,010
[cheering]

1257
00:53:42,552 --> 00:53:44,721
We played around all the time.

1258
00:53:44,804 --> 00:53:47,015
Being a young dad,
or being a dad

1259
00:53:47,098 --> 00:53:50,518
brings you closer to playing,
playing around with anything,

1260
00:53:50,602 --> 00:53:53,647
with make-up, a wig, we just played.

1261
00:53:53,730 --> 00:53:56,733
We had a great game
that Bianca and me invented.

1262
00:53:56,816 --> 00:53:59,277
I like talking about it
because maybe some parent

1263
00:53:59,361 --> 00:54:02,113
that's watching that has
kindergarten-age kids will go,

1264
00:54:02,197 --> 00:54:04,407
"Why not play their game?"

1265
00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,993
Bianca was four then.

1266
00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:07,953
She was…

1267
00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:10,247
[music stops]

1268
00:54:10,330 --> 00:54:12,374
…four perfect, exact years.

1269
00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:14,834
The game is easy, it's simple.

1270
00:54:14,918 --> 00:54:17,671
You need two participants,
an adult and a child.

1271
00:54:20,006 --> 00:54:22,133
What's interesting
is no one brings it up.

1272
00:54:22,217 --> 00:54:23,593
You don't go, "Let's play."

1273
00:54:23,677 --> 00:54:27,264
If I asked,
I felt she couldn't turn me down.

1274
00:54:27,347 --> 00:54:31,101
But if the game started on its own,
it was more interesting

1275
00:54:31,184 --> 00:54:32,894
because you didn't know when it'd be.

1276
00:54:32,978 --> 00:54:33,853
It's easy.

1277
00:54:33,937 --> 00:54:37,857
Suddenly, a dark soul
would invade my body.

1278
00:54:38,483 --> 00:54:41,444
[exaggerated voice] The devil, Satan,
Beelzebub.

1279
00:54:41,528 --> 00:54:44,364
[rasping, deep voice]
"Bianca."

1280
00:54:44,447 --> 00:54:45,657
I fell to the floor.

1281
00:54:45,740 --> 00:54:46,700
[babbling]

1282
00:54:46,783 --> 00:54:48,076
Started trembling.

1283
00:54:48,576 --> 00:54:49,577
A satanic episode.

1284
00:54:49,661 --> 00:54:51,204
And only one person in the house

1285
00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:54,791
knew the right ritual
to expel the devil from me. Bianca.

1286
00:54:54,874 --> 00:54:56,668
She was just four, and said,

1287
00:54:56,751 --> 00:54:58,295
"Out of my father's body.

1288
00:54:58,378 --> 00:55:00,005
Out, Satan and evil archangels.

1289
00:55:00,088 --> 00:55:01,589
Out, Beelzebub! [gasping]

1290
00:55:01,673 --> 00:55:04,843
I'd stand up, hug her,
she'd comfort me.

1291
00:55:05,635 --> 00:55:07,262
While I went to clean up,

1292
00:55:07,345 --> 00:55:10,724
Bianca drew a ring with salt
and used a black candle

1293
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:13,518
with an inverted cross
to mark the cursed zone.

1294
00:55:13,601 --> 00:55:14,894
-A game.
-[chuckling]

1295
00:55:14,978 --> 00:55:15,979
I liked it.

1296
00:55:16,062 --> 00:55:19,316
It was educationally interesting.
Talked about it with her principal.

1297
00:55:19,399 --> 00:55:21,359
She said, "Stop it, dude."

1298
00:55:21,443 --> 00:55:24,529
But I liked it
and Bianca was excited about it.

1299
00:55:24,612 --> 00:55:26,197
She liked the game.

1300
00:55:26,823 --> 00:55:30,660
I made her a great exorcism kit
with a nice wooden box.

1301
00:55:31,161 --> 00:55:32,954
She had a garlic rope,

1302
00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:34,706
a tiny stake and hammer,

1303
00:55:34,789 --> 00:55:37,751
some holy water we stole
from a nearby church.

1304
00:55:38,251 --> 00:55:40,670
Bianca went,
"The priest is with the altar boys!"

1305
00:55:40,754 --> 00:55:43,006
And I snatched the holy water in a jar,

1306
00:55:43,089 --> 00:55:45,759
then we beat it back home.

1307
00:55:47,302 --> 00:55:50,722
A friend said, "You can't steal
a church's holy water."

1308
00:55:50,805 --> 00:55:53,892
"But I'm stealing from the church,
it cancels out."

1309
00:55:53,975 --> 00:55:57,854
[dramatic voice] Damn.
A compromising statement from Rada,

1310
00:55:57,937 --> 00:56:00,940
because comedy
can tell the truth sometimes.

1311
00:56:01,524 --> 00:56:02,359
Asshole.

1312
00:56:03,777 --> 00:56:07,405
After I understood that stealing
holy water was wrong, or whatever,

1313
00:56:07,489 --> 00:56:09,407
I figured I'd make it. I went online.

1314
00:56:09,491 --> 00:56:12,243
"How to bless tap water."

1315
00:56:12,327 --> 00:56:14,704
[speaking gibberish]

1316
00:56:14,788 --> 00:56:17,749
Same as priests,
but without a state salary.

1317
00:56:18,333 --> 00:56:21,753
[dramatic voice] Rada, unafraid
of social criticism, strikes again.

1318
00:56:23,505 --> 00:56:25,548
I made her a great cross,

1319
00:56:25,632 --> 00:56:28,468
I'm all right with wood,
a great fuchsia cross.

1320
00:56:28,551 --> 00:56:31,179
Instead of Jesus Christ,
who is a striking image,

1321
00:56:31,262 --> 00:56:33,348
a man full of nails and blood,

1322
00:56:33,431 --> 00:56:36,851
I glued on a plastic doll.

1323
00:56:36,935 --> 00:56:37,936
[laughter]

1324
00:56:38,019 --> 00:56:40,146
Naked, crying glitter.

1325
00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:42,273
Like a virgin that cries glitter.

1326
00:56:42,357 --> 00:56:44,359
Great, with a fantastic haircut.

1327
00:56:45,777 --> 00:56:49,239
And I'd written on the doll--

1328
00:56:49,823 --> 00:56:51,616
You know how in movies,

1329
00:56:51,699 --> 00:56:55,036
when there's something satanic,
they write words in reverse?

1330
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:58,748
I wrote "Eye," "Neuquén," "Radar"
on her body.

1331
00:56:58,832 --> 00:57:00,917
Bianca had the cross, she was small,

1332
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:04,838
the cross was this big,
in her exorcist box.

1333
00:57:04,921 --> 00:57:06,548
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, honey."

1334
00:57:06,631 --> 00:57:07,882
"Just let me know."

1335
00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:10,802
And once in a while-- Ah!
She'd splash me with holy water.

1336
00:57:12,137 --> 00:57:13,304
Poor Bianca.

1337
00:57:13,388 --> 00:57:16,224
She was so excited
that one day I caught her

1338
00:57:16,307 --> 00:57:18,977
taking the exorcism kit
to kindergarten.

1339
00:57:19,060 --> 00:57:20,145
"Bianca, what is that?"

1340
00:57:20,228 --> 00:57:21,896
"What if it happens to Fermín?"

1341
00:57:21,980 --> 00:57:23,648
"Honey, leave this here.

1342
00:57:23,731 --> 00:57:26,443
Go on, it's just a game. Go."

1343
00:57:27,652 --> 00:57:28,653
I don't blame her.

1344
00:57:28,736 --> 00:57:30,738
Bianca was so innocent.

1345
00:57:31,781 --> 00:57:33,908
It happened to me once. What a moron.

1346
00:57:34,659 --> 00:57:37,078
I was just fine,
working on my computer,

1347
00:57:37,162 --> 00:57:38,580
and the devil takes over.

1348
00:57:38,663 --> 00:57:41,791
[babbling] I start shaking everywhere.

1349
00:57:41,875 --> 00:57:44,836
And Bianca wasn't there. So I was screwed.

1350
00:57:44,919 --> 00:57:47,088
Luckily the handyman
was fixing the heater.

1351
00:57:47,172 --> 00:57:48,339
"What do I do?"

1352
00:57:48,423 --> 00:57:50,592
"Call Bianca!" I mumbled.

1353
00:57:50,675 --> 00:57:51,509
[laughter]

1354
00:57:51,593 --> 00:57:54,721
He had to go to kindergarten,
get Bianca, sign for her.

1355
00:57:54,804 --> 00:57:56,222
"Who's taking her?" "Handyman."

1356
00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:58,266
"Reason?" "Dad's possessed."

1357
00:57:58,349 --> 00:58:01,060
"Just take her."
They already knew me.

1358
00:58:02,061 --> 00:58:04,981
Bianca came and had it out
in an instant.

1359
00:58:05,064 --> 00:58:06,649
Bianca knew. The handyman didn't.

1360
00:58:09,194 --> 00:58:13,364
I finally realized
the game wasn't that normal…

1361
00:58:13,448 --> 00:58:15,033
[giggling]

1362
00:58:15,116 --> 00:58:19,829
…when Bianca wanted to invite
Vicky, her friend from kindergarten,

1363
00:58:19,913 --> 00:58:22,874
over for tea, to play and watch cartoons.

1364
00:58:22,957 --> 00:58:24,959
"Sure." I talked to her dad, Fabián.

1365
00:58:25,043 --> 00:58:27,378
"I'll take the girls."
"Sure, I'll come by later."

1366
00:58:27,462 --> 00:58:29,714
"Do the horn! Awesome."

1367
00:58:29,797 --> 00:58:31,257
And I went home.

1368
00:58:31,341 --> 00:58:32,425
We were doing great,

1369
00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:35,512
Bianca was drinking her milk
and watching cartoons.

1370
00:58:36,095 --> 00:58:38,806
"I'll behave today. [rasping]

1371
00:58:38,890 --> 00:58:40,433
No devil today, no.

1372
00:58:40,517 --> 00:58:41,643
[roaring] No!

1373
00:58:42,143 --> 00:58:43,895
Not today, Vicky's here.

1374
00:58:43,978 --> 00:58:45,688
No devil today. She'll get scared."

1375
00:58:45,772 --> 00:58:49,108
[babbling, rasping]

1376
00:58:49,609 --> 00:58:53,863
[snorting]

1377
00:58:54,405 --> 00:58:55,907
[rasping] "Bianca--

1378
00:58:55,990 --> 00:58:57,742
No! Not today."

1379
00:58:57,825 --> 00:58:58,701
"Dad, are you okay?"

1380
00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:01,412
"Don't worry, honey.
It won't happen today."

1381
00:59:02,914 --> 00:59:04,207
Suddenly, I couldn't control it.

1382
00:59:04,290 --> 00:59:05,667
[babbles] I fell.

1383
00:59:05,750 --> 00:59:07,418
[babbling]

1384
00:59:07,502 --> 00:59:09,546
I did the whole exorcism thing.

1385
00:59:09,629 --> 00:59:11,631
Snot, shit, I couldn't understand it.

1386
00:59:11,714 --> 00:59:13,049
The devil was very angry.

1387
00:59:13,132 --> 00:59:16,427
Bianca goes, "Out, spirit.
Out, Satan and evil archangels.

1388
00:59:16,511 --> 00:59:18,263
Out, Beelzebub!" [gasping]

1389
00:59:18,346 --> 00:59:19,180
I stand up.

1390
00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:21,683
Bianca hugs me, comforts me,
I was in shock.

1391
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:24,852
"Dad, you smell like shit."
Right, I'm going.

1392
00:59:24,936 --> 00:59:26,396
[laughter]

1393
00:59:26,980 --> 00:59:28,398
I return from the bathroom.

1394
00:59:28,481 --> 00:59:30,900
The devil left me,
but it went into Vicky.

1395
00:59:30,984 --> 00:59:32,735
Vicky was like this.
[mouth pops]

1396
00:59:34,779 --> 00:59:35,613
[rasps]

1397
00:59:36,155 --> 00:59:37,574
"Call…

1398
00:59:37,657 --> 00:59:38,700
Call my dad.

1399
00:59:38,783 --> 00:59:39,826
[chuckling]

1400
00:59:39,909 --> 00:59:42,161
[voice rasping] Call my dad."

1401
00:59:42,245 --> 00:59:44,414
"Vicky, it's all right,
it's just a game we--

1402
00:59:44,497 --> 00:59:45,748
"Call my dad.

1403
00:59:46,249 --> 00:59:47,417
Dad.

1404
00:59:47,500 --> 00:59:48,585
Dad."

1405
00:59:49,085 --> 00:59:50,336
"Vicky, it's a game--"

1406
00:59:50,420 --> 00:59:52,088
[voice wailing] "Call my dad."

1407
00:59:52,171 --> 00:59:53,673
"Bianca, do something!"

1408
00:59:53,756 --> 00:59:56,926
"Out, spirit!
Out, Satan and evil archangels."

1409
00:59:57,010 --> 00:59:58,720
She smacked her with bay leaves.

1410
00:59:58,803 --> 00:59:59,929
"No, honey, stop."

1411
01:00:00,555 --> 01:00:01,639
I called her dad.

1412
01:00:01,723 --> 01:00:04,601
"Fabián, come get your daughter,
I don't know what's wrong."

1413
01:00:04,684 --> 01:00:05,935
The guy comes over.

1414
01:00:06,019 --> 01:00:09,022
I didn't know
they were a really Christian family.

1415
01:00:09,105 --> 01:00:12,775
He sees Vicky.
"Look, sometimes the devil gets me."

1416
01:00:12,859 --> 01:00:15,570
"That's what I'm here for,"
says Bianca, with the cross.

1417
01:00:15,653 --> 01:00:17,447
"Bianca, go to your room.

1418
01:00:17,530 --> 01:00:19,782
This is grown up stuff.
I'll handle it. Go."

1419
01:00:23,786 --> 01:00:25,371
[breathing deeply]

1420
01:00:26,831 --> 01:00:28,249
[laughter]

1421
01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:29,208
"I just don't know."

1422
01:00:29,792 --> 01:00:31,044
We picked up the kid.

1423
01:00:31,127 --> 01:00:33,421
She was stiff as a board.

1424
01:00:33,504 --> 01:00:36,424
We had to toss her onto the back seat.

1425
01:00:36,507 --> 01:00:38,092
Angled so the door would close.

1426
01:00:38,176 --> 01:00:41,137
I can't forget that image. Poor Vicky.

1427
01:00:41,220 --> 01:00:43,222
She was like this. Like this.

1428
01:00:43,306 --> 01:00:44,641
[laughter]

1429
01:00:44,724 --> 01:00:47,518
Before leaving, the guy says,
"You're an asshole."

1430
01:00:47,602 --> 01:00:50,063
"Sorry? What do you mean?"
"You're an asshole.

1431
01:00:50,146 --> 01:00:52,565
Grow up. You've got doodles on your arms.

1432
01:00:52,649 --> 01:00:56,069
Jumping around all day,
what's wrong with your head?

1433
01:00:56,152 --> 01:00:58,321
Don't worry about my girl.

1434
01:00:58,404 --> 01:01:00,448
I'm going straight
to the Pentecostal church,

1435
01:01:00,531 --> 01:01:03,201
we'll get her
into a holy water pool and fix this,

1436
01:01:03,284 --> 01:01:04,577
but your daughter--

1437
01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:06,746
All day like this, what's wrong with you?

1438
01:01:06,829 --> 01:01:08,164
She's gonna turn out bad.

1439
01:01:08,247 --> 01:01:11,542
When she wants to be a dentist,
lawyer, agriculturist, architect,

1440
01:01:11,626 --> 01:01:13,586
what's her example,
her asshole dad?

1441
01:01:14,170 --> 01:01:15,421
What happens if she's a lawyer?

1442
01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:17,924
[high voice] 'Madam Judge,
this is the evidence for the case.'

1443
01:01:18,007 --> 01:01:20,051
Are you an idiot? You have to grow up.

1444
01:01:20,134 --> 01:01:21,761
Grow. Up."

1445
01:01:21,844 --> 01:01:22,845
And I…

1446
01:01:23,638 --> 01:01:24,555
"Me?"

1447
01:01:24,639 --> 01:01:25,640
[laughter]

1448
01:01:28,726 --> 01:01:30,228
[honks] That's what I did.

1449
01:01:30,311 --> 01:01:33,106
[band plays a gentle melody]

1450
01:01:33,189 --> 01:01:35,233
-[puffing]
-[band members singing]

1451
01:01:35,316 --> 01:01:38,194
♪ Serendipia… ♪

1452
01:01:38,277 --> 01:01:39,153
[Agustín] Hi?

1453
01:01:39,237 --> 01:01:41,656
Honey-- Sorry, ex-honey.

1454
01:01:41,739 --> 01:01:42,657
Force of habit.

1455
01:01:43,408 --> 01:01:45,868
Did he call? He's such a tattletale.

1456
01:01:46,494 --> 01:01:47,912
We were just playing.

1457
01:01:47,995 --> 01:01:49,497
Just a bit. But I always--

1458
01:01:49,580 --> 01:01:51,791
I didn't know she would…

1459
01:01:51,874 --> 01:01:53,042
[music stops]

1460
01:01:53,126 --> 01:01:54,794
I went overboard, I'm sorry.

1461
01:01:54,877 --> 01:01:55,962
[band plays]

1462
01:01:56,045 --> 01:01:57,964
♪ Serendipia ♪

1463
01:01:58,047 --> 01:02:00,633
♪ It's a very fortunate find… ♪

1464
01:02:00,717 --> 01:02:01,884
[Agustín] I understand.

1465
01:02:01,968 --> 01:02:04,011
♪ Valuable and unexpected… ♪

1466
01:02:04,095 --> 01:02:05,263
[Agustín] I don't know.

1467
01:02:05,346 --> 01:02:08,725
♪ That happens all of a sudden ♪

1468
01:02:08,808 --> 01:02:11,394
You're very angry.
Do you miss me? You don't.

1469
01:02:11,477 --> 01:02:15,565
♪ It can also be a man's talent ♪

1470
01:02:15,648 --> 01:02:18,067
♪ To realize he found something
Important… ♪

1471
01:02:18,151 --> 01:02:19,485
[Agustín] Yes! I understand.

1472
01:02:19,569 --> 01:02:22,447
♪ That he wasn't looking for ♪

1473
01:02:23,656 --> 01:02:25,283
-[music stops]
-Do you understand?

1474
01:02:25,366 --> 01:02:28,286
You're trying to explain,
but you can't explain this.

1475
01:02:28,369 --> 01:02:31,622
Life offers paths,
and you choose some, or not.

1476
01:02:31,706 --> 01:02:33,958
Sorry for the metaphor,

1477
01:02:34,041 --> 01:02:37,545
but you know when you assemble a room
in two hours, or hang a picture?

1478
01:02:37,628 --> 01:02:40,006
Life can just kick your ass out.

1479
01:02:40,089 --> 01:02:42,258
It's just an image.

1480
01:02:42,341 --> 01:02:44,260
Like what
the dry cleaner said, remember?

1481
01:02:44,343 --> 01:02:46,637
Remember what the dry cleaner said?

1482
01:02:46,721 --> 01:02:48,848
"Sometimes, life might give you lemons."

1483
01:02:48,931 --> 01:02:50,516
You didn't want lemons.

1484
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:52,602
So what do you do?
Get angry at the lemons?

1485
01:02:52,685 --> 01:02:54,353
You make lemonade. It's what I think.

1486
01:02:54,437 --> 01:02:56,856
♪ The love you least expected
Might travel next to you ♪

1487
01:02:56,939 --> 01:02:59,150
♪ In the bus, her and you
Unknowingly in love ♪

1488
01:02:59,233 --> 01:03:02,069
♪ The paths and shortcuts
Work and yesterday ♪

1489
01:03:02,153 --> 01:03:04,655
♪ A girlfriend, drugs, money
Your past or what you have ♪

1490
01:03:04,739 --> 01:03:07,492
♪ You gotta take it as it is ♪

1491
01:03:07,575 --> 01:03:09,702
♪ You gotta take it or leave it ♪

1492
01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:12,121
♪ When I open a door… ♪

1493
01:03:12,205 --> 01:03:13,456
[Agustín speaks inaudibly]

1494
01:03:13,539 --> 01:03:15,541
♪ All the rest open too ♪

1495
01:03:15,625 --> 01:03:17,460
But Bianca has fun.

1496
01:03:17,543 --> 01:03:19,212
♪ Serendipia… ♪

1497
01:03:19,295 --> 01:03:24,217
Bianca will be whatever she wants,
an artist, a lawyer, I dunno.

1498
01:03:24,300 --> 01:03:27,136
She'll find out, like you and me…

1499
01:03:28,012 --> 01:03:30,306
♪ Missing your stop ♪

1500
01:03:30,389 --> 01:03:32,850
♪ Getting off wherever ♪

1501
01:03:33,559 --> 01:03:35,770
♪ Maybe your life will change ♪

1502
01:03:35,853 --> 01:03:38,314
♪ In the blink of an eye ♪

1503
01:03:38,397 --> 01:03:40,900
♪ Success and failure ♪

1504
01:03:40,983 --> 01:03:43,402
♪ Fate and the unknown ♪

1505
01:03:43,486 --> 01:03:44,362
[Agustín] Sure…

1506
01:03:44,445 --> 01:03:46,489
♪ Cholesterol and parties ♪

1507
01:03:46,572 --> 01:03:49,200
♪ Patience or desire ♪

1508
01:03:49,283 --> 01:03:52,161
♪ Letting go or holding on ♪

1509
01:03:52,245 --> 01:03:54,372
♪ Is losing or letting them win ♪

1510
01:03:54,455 --> 01:03:57,250
♪ Walker, there is no path ♪

1511
01:03:57,333 --> 01:04:00,419
♪ You make it as you go ♪

1512
01:04:00,503 --> 01:04:02,672
♪ Serendipia ♪

1513
01:04:02,755 --> 01:04:05,633
I think you're the best mother
Bianca could have.

1514
01:04:05,716 --> 01:04:07,260
♪ Serendipia ♪

1515
01:04:07,343 --> 01:04:09,345
[Agustín] I need to go. Bye.

1516
01:04:09,428 --> 01:04:10,721
Keep the painting for me.

1517
01:04:11,722 --> 01:04:14,350
♪ Santa Claus, my parents, my brother ♪

1518
01:04:14,433 --> 01:04:16,936
♪ Charles and the egg trick ♪

1519
01:04:17,019 --> 01:04:20,147
♪ I didn't want to be a magician ♪

1520
01:04:20,231 --> 01:04:22,733
♪ Because magicians don't get laid ♪

1521
01:04:22,817 --> 01:04:25,361
♪ Magicians don't get laid ♪

1522
01:04:25,444 --> 01:04:27,989
♪ Magicians don't get laid ♪

1523
01:04:28,072 --> 01:04:31,242
♪ Magicians don't get laid
And never will ♪

1524
01:04:31,826 --> 01:04:34,161
♪ My first time was at 19 ♪

1525
01:04:34,662 --> 01:04:36,664
♪ Divorce, and love ♪

1526
01:04:37,164 --> 01:04:39,333
♪ If there's anything I know ♪

1527
01:04:39,417 --> 01:04:42,169
♪ Is that everything is better ♪

1528
01:04:42,253 --> 01:04:44,839
♪ You gotta take it or leave it ♪

1529
01:04:44,922 --> 01:04:47,550
♪ You gotta know the best
Hasn't come yet ♪

1530
01:04:47,633 --> 01:04:50,636
♪ Everything gives you something ♪

1531
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:53,806
♪ Bianca is the prettiest ♪

1532
01:04:53,890 --> 01:04:57,602
♪ Bianca ♪

1533
01:04:57,685 --> 01:05:01,564
♪ You're the best ♪

1534
01:05:03,190 --> 01:05:07,278
♪ Bianca ♪

1535
01:05:07,361 --> 01:05:10,072
♪ It's great ♪

1536
01:05:12,491 --> 01:05:15,202
♪ Being ♪

1537
01:05:16,621 --> 01:05:18,998
♪ Your dad ♪

1538
01:05:22,543 --> 01:05:24,921
When we're small, they tell us

1539
01:05:25,588 --> 01:05:28,007
that life is a straight line.

1540
01:05:28,841 --> 01:05:31,135
That if you do everything right,

1541
01:05:31,218 --> 01:05:32,803
study, work,

1542
01:05:32,887 --> 01:05:35,806
fall in love, get married, have kids,

1543
01:05:36,390 --> 01:05:39,352
you'll get, with no trouble at all,

1544
01:05:39,435 --> 01:05:41,145
from point A to point B.

1545
01:05:42,605 --> 01:05:43,981
A straight line?

1546
01:05:44,065 --> 01:05:44,941
Bullshit.

1547
01:05:45,024 --> 01:05:47,735
To me, life is when you leave
your parent's house,

1548
01:05:47,818 --> 01:05:49,320
when you fall in love

1549
01:05:49,403 --> 01:05:52,031
and your love kicks you out.

1550
01:05:53,407 --> 01:05:55,201
When you achieve your dream

1551
01:05:55,284 --> 01:05:57,745
and realize it's a little boring.

1552
01:05:57,828 --> 01:05:59,330
When you make money.

1553
01:05:59,413 --> 01:06:00,706
When you're strapped.

1554
01:06:01,415 --> 01:06:03,751
When you've got a kid at 22.

1555
01:06:03,834 --> 01:06:06,128
When the unexpected happens.

1556
01:06:06,212 --> 01:06:08,756
To me, there's two ways to look at it.

1557
01:06:09,674 --> 01:06:13,469
You can get angry,
swear, cry, lash out

1558
01:06:13,552 --> 01:06:17,473
at everyone because life
isn't working out like you planned

1559
01:06:17,556 --> 01:06:19,892
or how they told you it would be.

1560
01:06:20,643 --> 01:06:23,521
Or you can actually grow up.

1561
01:06:24,146 --> 01:06:27,733
And realize that everything,
the good, the bad, the ugly,

1562
01:06:27,817 --> 01:06:31,237
the beautiful, the marvelous,
the unpredictable

1563
01:06:32,530 --> 01:06:35,992
is all a chance
that life gives you every day

1564
01:06:36,617 --> 01:06:38,619
to walk down a new path.

1565
01:06:40,997 --> 01:06:44,792
♪ Growing up is doing the same things ♪

1566
01:06:44,875 --> 01:06:47,628
♪ No matter what the rest think ♪

1567
01:06:47,712 --> 01:06:48,838
[band plays rock]

1568
01:06:48,921 --> 01:06:52,008
♪ Growing up is doing the same things ♪

1569
01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:55,428
♪ No matter what they think ♪

1570
01:06:55,511 --> 01:06:58,222
♪ No matter what they think ♪

1571
01:06:58,889 --> 01:07:00,099
I bought it.

1572
01:07:00,182 --> 01:07:01,100
[laughing]

1573
01:07:01,642 --> 01:07:05,062
An unbreakable plastic truck.

1574
01:07:06,105 --> 01:07:10,192
♪ Serendipia ♪

1575
01:07:11,777 --> 01:07:16,198
♪ Serendipia ♪

1576
01:07:16,282 --> 01:07:19,618
You weren't so wrong after all, Santa.

1577
01:07:20,494 --> 01:07:24,498
[music crescendos]

1578
01:07:26,834 --> 01:07:29,503
[applause and cheering]

1579
01:07:29,587 --> 01:07:32,089
[band plays rock 'n' roll]

1580
01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:37,762
[cheering, whistling, applause]

1581
01:07:51,984 --> 01:07:53,444
[Agustín] One, two--

1582
01:07:53,986 --> 01:07:55,529
One, two, three, go!

1583
01:07:55,613 --> 01:07:57,615
[band plays faster]

1584
01:07:57,698 --> 01:08:00,201
[cheering and applause]

1585
01:08:03,079 --> 01:08:04,080
[music stops]

1586
01:08:06,749 --> 01:08:08,209
No one came, man.

1587
01:08:10,377 --> 01:08:12,880
[rock 'n' roll music plays]

1588
01:09:21,615 --> 01:09:26,203
Subtitles: Ivan Cukier