1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:09,008 --> 00:00:10,810 (upbeat music) 4 00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:12,278 - Good evening, everybody, 5 00:00:12,278 --> 00:00:14,747 and thanks for coming to the show. 6 00:00:14,747 --> 00:00:17,617 Let's give a warm, crazy Vernon BC welcome 7 00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:19,352 to our guests of honor, 8 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:23,523 John Hollingsworth, Chris Reid, and Dave Lane, 9 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:24,623 here's your Fidgets! 10 00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:29,462 (audience cheers and applauds) 11 00:00:32,632 --> 00:00:34,233 - All right, are you ready to get started? 12 00:00:34,233 --> 00:00:35,735 (audience cheers and applauds) 13 00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:37,503 All right, are we gonna have a good show tonight? 14 00:00:37,503 --> 00:00:39,005 (audience cheers) 15 00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:41,340 Oh, yeah, we are, okay, Change is a sketch we do, 16 00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:43,477 where Chris and I complete a scene, 17 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:47,280 but everything we say Dave has the power to say, change, 18 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,848 and when he says that, we have to change 19 00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:50,883 the last thing that we said, okay. 20 00:00:50,883 --> 00:00:54,853 So, the scene is, Doctor Chris 21 00:00:54,853 --> 00:00:59,692 needs to have a sit down talk with John to talk to him about 22 00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:02,195 how the operation didn't go as planned. 23 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:04,763 - I'm the doctor? 24 00:01:04,763 --> 00:01:06,465 - You're the doctor. - Okay. 25 00:01:06,465 --> 00:01:08,835 - And I'm-- - What was your operation? 26 00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:10,337 - [Dave] Do you wanna get minor operation day surgery? 27 00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,973 - Yeah, give me a minor, like day surgery-- 28 00:01:13,973 --> 00:01:17,243 (audience shouting) 29 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,845 Bunion infection? 30 00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:20,247 (audience shouting) 31 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,482 - Hair transplant! - Hair transplant, really? 32 00:01:24,183 --> 00:01:25,585 - Bunion infection. 33 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,153 - Oh, okay, on your toesies 34 00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:28,420 - Yeah. - Sure, why not? 35 00:01:29,588 --> 00:01:31,357 Okay, I'll be the doctor and you do the, okay. 36 00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:33,627 - I'll have the bunion infection. 37 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:34,993 - Apparently. 38 00:01:34,993 --> 00:01:36,495 - It sounds disgusting though. 39 00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:40,833 Are you ready? - Yeah. 40 00:01:40,833 --> 00:01:41,667 - All right. 41 00:01:43,202 --> 00:01:45,138 Nurse I really need to see the doctor. 42 00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:48,140 No, I really need to see the doctor! 43 00:01:48,140 --> 00:01:51,043 Yeah, John Hollingsworth, tell him John Hollingsworth, 44 00:01:51,043 --> 00:01:52,445 Doctor, hey! 45 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:54,913 What are you doing? 46 00:01:54,913 --> 00:01:57,183 - I am smoking in my office. 47 00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:58,183 - Change. 48 00:01:58,183 --> 00:01:59,685 - I am having a cigarette. 49 00:01:59,685 --> 00:02:00,720 - Change. 50 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,888 - Don't you know what I am doing? 51 00:02:02,888 --> 00:02:05,658 Do you want to try, the cool kids do it? 52 00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:08,460 - I don't think so, I don't think smoking is good for you. 53 00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:10,730 But here's the thing, I need to talk to you 54 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,632 for a couple minutes about my operation. 55 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,233 (speaking in foreign language) 56 00:02:14,233 --> 00:02:15,067 (audience laughs) 57 00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,535 - 'Cause I am French. 58 00:02:16,535 --> 00:02:17,703 - Yeah, I got that. 59 00:02:17,703 --> 00:02:19,438 Doc, last week I was in here 60 00:02:19,438 --> 00:02:23,108 to get my infected bunion repaired. 61 00:02:23,108 --> 00:02:24,610 (speaking in foreign language) 62 00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:26,745 Okay, remember, you looked at in the x-ray, and you said, 63 00:02:26,745 --> 00:02:28,982 that infected bunion needs to be repaired. 64 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,250 - Change. 65 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,318 - You said that infected bunion makes me hungry. 66 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,787 - Change. 67 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,855 - You said that infected bunion looks like my mother. 68 00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:38,290 (audience laughs) 69 00:02:38,290 --> 00:02:41,693 - So, we jumped into, we got a surgery date right away, 70 00:02:41,693 --> 00:02:43,530 because you were afraid for my life, 71 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:48,535 and you put me out, and my bunion is still infected. 72 00:02:50,168 --> 00:02:51,403 (exhales) 73 00:02:51,403 --> 00:02:53,038 - So, you have a problem 74 00:02:53,038 --> 00:02:55,475 with your bunion still being infected? 75 00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:56,775 - Yes. 76 00:02:56,775 --> 00:02:58,978 - Okay, I want to ask you something. 77 00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:00,847 How does your back feel? - Change. 78 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,948 - How does your butt feel? - Change. 79 00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:05,083 - Can you see better? - Change. 80 00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:07,220 - How do you smell? - Change. 81 00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:09,455 - You know, if you had more hair on your back, 82 00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:11,257 you'd probably be better looking. 83 00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:12,458 (audience laughs) 84 00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,693 But don't worry, I had already fixed it. 85 00:03:14,693 --> 00:03:16,930 You probably just haven't seen your back yet. 86 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,397 (audience laughs) 87 00:03:18,397 --> 00:03:20,600 - Are you telling me I went into the hospital, into surgery, 88 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,935 to get my infected bunion repaired, 89 00:03:22,935 --> 00:03:24,403 (speaking in foreign language) 90 00:03:24,403 --> 00:03:25,672 - 'Cause I'm French. 91 00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:29,175 - And you did some sort of back hair transplant? 92 00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:30,610 - Change. 93 00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:34,247 - You did some sort of monkey to man hair transplant? 94 00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:35,748 - Change. 95 00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:39,152 - I now have the sheen of an Irish Setter on my back! 96 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,018 (audience laughs) 97 00:03:40,018 --> 00:03:41,487 - You're correct. 98 00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:44,290 Do you not remember when you came to my office and you said, 99 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:48,828 "Hey, look at my bunion and I had a full set of hair." 100 00:03:48,828 --> 00:03:50,062 - Change. 101 00:03:50,062 --> 00:03:52,032 - Do you not remember my locks on my head? 102 00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:53,565 - [Dave] Change. 103 00:03:53,565 --> 00:03:55,468 - Do you know how I look like Elvis, and I was like? (blows) 104 00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:56,302 (audience laughs) 105 00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,037 Do you remember that? 106 00:03:58,037 --> 00:03:58,972 - I do remember you did-- 107 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,307 - Does this seem familiar? 108 00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:01,573 (audience laughs) 109 00:04:01,573 --> 00:04:03,442 - Yes, that seems very familiar. 110 00:04:03,442 --> 00:04:06,645 You seemed like you had way more hair on top of your head, 111 00:04:06,645 --> 00:04:08,547 but I was out of it. 112 00:04:08,547 --> 00:04:11,417 - I know, but now I have given you a favor, my friend. 113 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,385 I have put my hair on your back. 114 00:04:13,385 --> 00:04:14,920 - Change. 115 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,688 - I have put all the things on my head under your back. 116 00:04:16,688 --> 00:04:18,223 - Change. 117 00:04:18,223 --> 00:04:19,625 - I took the things from your back and put them on my head. 118 00:04:19,625 --> 00:04:20,860 - Change. (audience laughs) 119 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,162 - I have swapped the skin on your back 120 00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,295 with the skin on my head 121 00:04:23,295 --> 00:04:24,530 - Change. 122 00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:25,465 - And I swapped the skin on your knee 123 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:26,265 with the skin on my knee. 124 00:04:26,265 --> 00:04:27,467 - Change. 125 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,668 - Your elbows are now behind your neck. 126 00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:30,437 The hair on my head is on your back, 127 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:35,308 and you have the ankles of four horses tilted backwards, 128 00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:37,910 so when you run, they looks like this. 129 00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:38,745 (audience laughs) 130 00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:39,978 - Change. 131 00:04:39,978 --> 00:04:41,813 - When you run, it looks like this. 132 00:04:41,813 --> 00:04:43,315 - Change. 133 00:04:43,315 --> 00:04:47,353 - When you run, you just fall down and you flap like this, 134 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:48,955 and then people go, "Are you okay?", 135 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:52,925 and through that sympathy, you are going to be promoted. 136 00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:55,293 (audience laughs) 137 00:04:55,293 --> 00:04:57,463 Oh, and you have a hairy back from my head. 138 00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:01,433 - You did all that in 15 minutes? 139 00:05:01,433 --> 00:05:02,635 - Change. 140 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,570 - You did all that in 45 minutes? 141 00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:06,538 - Change. - Eight days ago I was fine! 142 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,108 - Yes, but now you are fine 143 00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:11,710 and when you take off your shirt you look like a werewolf 144 00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,880 who can't seem to stand up without siezuring. 145 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,280 - [Dave] Change. 146 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,915 - Yes, but now the animal protective control 147 00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:19,752 is going to take care of you if you ever get in a bar fight. 148 00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:21,020 (audience laughs) - Change. 149 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:22,255 - There is going to be protective people 150 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,790 who will look out for you, 151 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,625 and there will also those who are going to hunt you. 152 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:27,393 It is a fun game I made up, 153 00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:30,195 and you have to find out how you're going to survive. 154 00:05:30,195 --> 00:05:31,597 (audience laughs) 155 00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:34,400 - Doc, I heard you were the best! 156 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,668 - Change. 157 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:36,868 - I heard you were great! - Change. 158 00:05:36,868 --> 00:05:39,138 - [John] I heard you were absolutely amazing. 159 00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:40,373 - [Dave] Change. 160 00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:42,007 - I heard you were a ventriloquist. 161 00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:42,842 (speaking in foreign language) 162 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:43,675 (audience laughs) 163 00:05:43,675 --> 00:05:44,643 - 'Cause he is French. 164 00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:48,782 - And I thought if he's talented with ventriloquism 165 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,517 maybe he's good at surgery. 166 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,118 In fact, it turns out that wasn't true. 167 00:05:53,118 --> 00:05:56,022 I shouldn't of trusted you with my body. 168 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,223 - Change. 169 00:05:57,223 --> 00:06:00,092 - I shouldn't of trusted you with how I look. 170 00:06:00,092 --> 00:06:01,327 - Change. 171 00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:02,428 I should not have trusted you at all. 172 00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:03,963 (audience laughs) 173 00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:05,798 - I'm going to stop you right there. 174 00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,867 You came in for the bunion on your foot? 175 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,068 - Yes, I did. 176 00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:10,102 - I made your life so much better 177 00:06:10,102 --> 00:06:11,937 and more interesting, thank you! 178 00:06:11,937 --> 00:06:13,172 - Yes, you did. 179 00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:15,140 - National Geographic has already called. 180 00:06:15,140 --> 00:06:16,842 And not only that, 181 00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:21,947 but in my office, you are now the most famous person 182 00:06:21,947 --> 00:06:23,448 I have ever had. 183 00:06:23,448 --> 00:06:26,085 Not because you were famous, but because I made you famous. 184 00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:27,320 - Change. 185 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,553 - Not because you were famous, 186 00:06:28,553 --> 00:06:30,322 but because I'm going to make you famous. 187 00:06:30,322 --> 00:06:31,857 - Change. 188 00:06:31,857 --> 00:06:33,760 - Not because you're going to be famous, or you were famous, 189 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,728 but because I put your face into a frame, 190 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:36,795 and I said, "Frame this", 191 00:06:36,795 --> 00:06:38,263 and my accent came out funny 192 00:06:38,263 --> 00:06:41,100 and now people think your some sort of celebrity, famous! 193 00:06:43,135 --> 00:06:45,972 (audience laughs) 194 00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:51,443 I say, nurse can you frame this? 195 00:06:51,443 --> 00:06:53,378 She goes, "Oh, he's famous?", 196 00:06:53,378 --> 00:06:55,715 I go, (speaking in foreign language), 'cause I am French, 197 00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:57,082 and now you think, 198 00:06:58,517 --> 00:07:01,220 you're not famous though, but you could be famous. 199 00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:06,425 I did not go to online college for this sort of thing, okay? 200 00:07:06,425 --> 00:07:07,693 (audience laughs) 201 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:10,830 - Doc, you know what, I got to apologize, okay. 202 00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,665 I came in here all stressed out, 203 00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,500 and you're absolutely right. 204 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,937 I was getting a lot of phone calls 205 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:21,840 from people either wanting to protect me or to hunt me, 206 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,243 and I thought, this is useless, 207 00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:27,247 but now I see I'm a unique commodity. 208 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:28,247 - Change. 209 00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:29,848 - I see that I'm a one of a kind. 210 00:07:29,848 --> 00:07:31,917 - Change. - I'm special. 211 00:07:31,917 --> 00:07:33,118 (audience laughs) 212 00:07:33,118 --> 00:07:34,887 - Yes, you are, and that was my hope for you. 213 00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:38,257 So, I'm going to do you a favor. 214 00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:40,225 I put your name in the paper, 215 00:07:40,225 --> 00:07:42,295 and I'm not even going to charge you extra. 216 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,495 - Which paper? 217 00:07:43,495 --> 00:07:44,897 - It was the local Citizen paper. 218 00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:46,132 - Change. 219 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,100 - I did it online on a blog. - Change. 220 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,268 - So, I was at the coffee shop, 221 00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:50,235 and I had a napkin with a pen-- 222 00:07:50,235 --> 00:07:51,470 - Change. 223 00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:52,605 - I was at home and I was sitting down 224 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:53,438 on the bathroom - Change. 225 00:07:53,438 --> 00:07:54,707 - And I had a magazine. 226 00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:56,542 There was a mail order coupon for a return-- 227 00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:57,777 - Change. 228 00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:59,245 - When I get tires, there's a rebate, 229 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:01,647 and you put the thing in with the rebate into the mail, 230 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:04,550 I also wrote those people a nice little note about you, 231 00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:07,587 and I have a feeling it will show up in their newsletter. 232 00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:08,520 - Awesome! 233 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:09,788 Well, doc, what can I say, 234 00:08:09,788 --> 00:08:11,857 but thank you very much, you're a genius. 235 00:08:11,857 --> 00:08:13,558 - Thank you, thank you. 236 00:08:13,558 --> 00:08:16,562 (audience applauds) 237 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,432 - Woo! - 'Cause I am French. 238 00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:20,900 (audience laughs) 239 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:24,670 - All right, how many people have the game Speak Out? 240 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,440 All right, so, cool game, lots of slobber. 241 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,010 What we did is we made that into an improv game, 242 00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:33,512 and we're gonna do that today. 243 00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:38,250 It's called Read My Lips, Read My Lips broken down, 244 00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:39,652 is a sketch where 245 00:08:42,087 --> 00:08:46,625 I have hired Dave, the coolest guy in school, 246 00:08:46,625 --> 00:08:51,630 to coach me through my blind date with the lovely Christine. 247 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,900 (audience laughs) 248 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:56,702 who has some whiskers, but that's fine, that's fine. 249 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,370 She's got a great personality. 250 00:08:58,370 --> 00:09:01,473 (audience laughs) 251 00:09:01,473 --> 00:09:02,975 - So what we're gonna do, 252 00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:06,345 is Dave is going to get some suggestions from the audience. 253 00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:11,050 By the way, you guys have been giving us A plus ideas. 254 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:13,052 That's been amazing, thank you so much. 255 00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,622 Oh yeah, give yourselves a hand. 256 00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:19,592 (audience cheers and applauds) 257 00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:21,260 All right, so Chris and I are gonna leave the room. 258 00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,195 - You guys can leave and I'll get some suggestions. 259 00:09:23,195 --> 00:09:25,698 - And you're gonna get some suggestions, 260 00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,733 and, you've got everything you need? 261 00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:30,703 - Okay, you go man. - Okay. 262 00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:32,805 - All right as they're leaving - We're gonna go out 263 00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:35,140 stairway, out door number 10. 264 00:09:36,308 --> 00:09:37,910 - So, my job is gonna be this, 265 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:41,247 is to give John some advice on impressing this girl. 266 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,515 Now, when you wanna impress a girl, 267 00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,383 there's a few things you have to address. 268 00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:45,752 The first thing is this, 269 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,053 is you have to address her beauty. 270 00:09:48,053 --> 00:09:49,922 All right, so what I need from you is this, 271 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:53,292 is give me a very unique eye color. 272 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,995 (audience shouting) 273 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:56,862 Turquoise. 274 00:10:00,465 --> 00:10:04,970 - Okay, so we're gonna go turquoise, turquoise, all right. 275 00:10:04,970 --> 00:10:08,540 So we're gonna say her eyes are as turquoise as, 276 00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:10,977 give me a sea creature. 277 00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:11,810 (audience shouting) 278 00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:12,645 Turtle. 279 00:10:13,878 --> 00:10:16,248 Okay, now, so we got a turtle, 280 00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:18,750 so we got turquoise, we got turtle. 281 00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:22,253 Give me a word that would describe a turtle. 282 00:10:22,253 --> 00:10:25,257 - [Audience Member] Supercalifragilistic expeallidocious! 283 00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:26,758 (audience shouting) 284 00:10:26,758 --> 00:10:28,693 - What's that? - Slow. 285 00:10:28,693 --> 00:10:31,730 - Slow, anything more creative than slow? 286 00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,665 (audience shouting) 287 00:10:33,665 --> 00:10:35,868 Slimy, we'll go slimy. 288 00:10:37,235 --> 00:10:39,705 All right, we'll do slimy, so we're gonna say, 289 00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:44,677 "Your eyes are as turquoise as a slimy turtle". 290 00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:47,112 Now, once you've addressed her beauty, 291 00:10:47,112 --> 00:10:49,948 what you wanna address next is this, is her intelligence. 292 00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:51,583 And so what I need from you is this, 293 00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:55,587 I need an expensive tool, an expensive tool. 294 00:10:55,587 --> 00:10:56,755 (audience shouting) 295 00:10:56,755 --> 00:11:00,558 Chainsaw, okay. 296 00:11:00,558 --> 00:11:03,395 Now, describe for me what a chainsaw would be like, 297 00:11:03,395 --> 00:11:05,430 creatively, what would it be like? 298 00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:07,165 (audience shouting) 299 00:11:07,165 --> 00:11:07,967 What's that? 300 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:09,868 What'd you yell? 301 00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:13,538 Sharp, a sharp chainsaw okay. 302 00:11:13,538 --> 00:11:14,973 All right, we're gonna say, 303 00:11:14,973 --> 00:11:18,843 you're as smart as a sharp chainsaw, all right. 304 00:11:18,843 --> 00:11:21,280 Now, once you've addressed her beauty, 305 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,215 and you have addressed her intelligence, 306 00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:24,817 now what needs to happen is this, 307 00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,285 is you need to go all out, 308 00:11:27,285 --> 00:11:29,955 and you need to express your love. 309 00:11:29,955 --> 00:11:31,790 So What I need from you is this, 310 00:11:31,790 --> 00:11:36,162 is give me your favorite guilty pleasure snack. 311 00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:39,365 I mean the stuff you eat that you shouldn't eat. 312 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,233 (audience shouting) 313 00:11:41,233 --> 00:11:44,337 Nutella, all right. 314 00:11:47,172 --> 00:11:50,977 Nutella, now describe for me what Nutella's like. 315 00:11:52,177 --> 00:11:55,080 (audience shouting) 316 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:59,952 Okay, we're gonna say gooey, gooey, okay. 317 00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:01,853 And so what we're gonna say at the end is this, 318 00:12:01,853 --> 00:12:06,658 we're gonna say, I love you more than gooey Nutella. 319 00:12:06,658 --> 00:12:11,363 So we'll say, her eyes are as turquoise as a slimy turtle, 320 00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:14,100 she is as smart as a sharp chainsaw, 321 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:18,903 and then that we love you more than gooey Nutella 322 00:12:18,903 --> 00:12:20,405 All right, you wanna bring them in? 323 00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:27,547 - I have been waiting for years (hums), so happy about this. 324 00:12:29,948 --> 00:12:32,785 Hey, buddy. - Hey, how you doing? 325 00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:34,953 - What is, what, no no no! 326 00:12:34,953 --> 00:12:36,888 - I got dental surgery. 327 00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:41,393 You had dental work done? 328 00:12:41,393 --> 00:12:45,230 - Yeah, but it's okay. - No, it's not okay! 329 00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:47,500 Christine is coming in like two minutes! 330 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,767 - Yeah! 331 00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:50,502 (audience laughs) 332 00:12:50,502 --> 00:12:51,803 - How are you even gonna help me? 333 00:12:51,803 --> 00:12:56,775 How are you gonna coach me? (Dave mumbles) 334 00:12:57,275 --> 00:12:58,077 Yes. 335 00:12:58,077 --> 00:13:01,080 (Dave mumbles) 336 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,948 (audience laughs) 337 00:13:03,948 --> 00:13:05,217 Yeah, yeah yeah. 338 00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:06,685 - Okay, ready? 339 00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:08,020 - Yeah, but I can't understand anything you're saying. 340 00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:09,955 - That's okay! - That's not. 341 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,690 I need Christine to fall in love with me. 342 00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:13,092 (Dave mumbles) 343 00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:14,893 She's got 14 guys after her. 344 00:13:14,893 --> 00:13:17,462 (Dave mumbles) 345 00:13:18,863 --> 00:13:20,132 Oh, man. - Look at you! 346 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:23,102 - Oh, she's here, she's here! (Dave mumbles) 347 00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:26,238 Hey, hey, Christine, how are you doing? 348 00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:27,707 - Super good. 349 00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:28,540 (audience laughs) 350 00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:30,108 - Wow. 351 00:13:30,108 --> 00:13:32,110 Hey, I got a seat for us. 352 00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:33,945 - You're so sweet. 353 00:13:33,945 --> 00:13:35,813 - Let me just pull it right up here. 354 00:13:35,813 --> 00:13:37,282 - Thank you. 355 00:13:37,282 --> 00:13:41,687 - Yeah, I'm so excited that you said you wanted to-- 356 00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:44,155 (audience laughs) 357 00:13:44,155 --> 00:13:46,158 - Thank you. 358 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,425 - You're a wobbly one aren't ya? 359 00:13:47,425 --> 00:13:48,660 - It's the chair. 360 00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:51,230 - It's the chair, for sure it is. 361 00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:52,732 Look at you spin. 362 00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:57,102 Hey, I just wanted to say I'm really glad you said 363 00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:01,607 you'd come out, meet me at the old coffee shop. 364 00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:06,612 I know, I know like, 14, 15 times I would say to you, 365 00:14:08,113 --> 00:14:10,215 do you wanna go out with me, do you wanna go out with me? 366 00:14:10,215 --> 00:14:13,618 and you always said no, and then this time you said yes! 367 00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:15,053 - I don't know why (laughs). 368 00:14:15,053 --> 00:14:16,588 (audience laughs) 369 00:14:16,588 --> 00:14:17,388 - You know what, let's just have fun, let's just relax. 370 00:14:17,388 --> 00:14:19,258 - Yeah, let's have fun. 371 00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:21,160 - Because we could just be friends, and build from there. 372 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,128 - Yes, we can just be friends! 373 00:14:23,128 --> 00:14:24,930 - Testing, testing, testing! 374 00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:30,435 - Yeah, so anyways, there's a couple things 375 00:14:30,435 --> 00:14:33,172 I just wanna say, just to start off the date. 376 00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:34,038 First of all, you look great. 377 00:14:34,038 --> 00:14:35,440 - I know. 378 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,042 - All right, and I've never seen 379 00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:39,612 a girl wear a vest like that. 380 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:40,880 (Dave mumbles) 381 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,182 - I used to be a singer in a rock band. 382 00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:45,918 - Oh, I see, okay, I bet you sing really well, anyways. 383 00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:47,085 - No. 384 00:14:47,085 --> 00:14:48,353 (audience laughs) 385 00:14:48,353 --> 00:14:49,153 - It's rock music, it doesn't matter. 386 00:14:49,153 --> 00:14:50,088 - It doesn't matter. 387 00:14:50,088 --> 00:14:52,023 - Anyways, I just wanted to say 388 00:14:52,023 --> 00:14:56,428 - Okay, okay, your eyes are as turquoise as slimy turtles! 389 00:14:58,630 --> 00:15:01,467 (audience laughs) 390 00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,670 - Your eyes-- 391 00:15:05,670 --> 00:15:09,475 - Christine, I just wanna say that your eyes 392 00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:12,177 - [Dave] Yeah, yeah, are as turquoise. 393 00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:14,747 - Are as kook-eyed 394 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,548 (audience laughs) 395 00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:18,150 - No no, turquoise, turquoise. 396 00:15:22,053 --> 00:15:23,822 - Your eyes. - Yeah? 397 00:15:23,822 --> 00:15:25,223 - I could get lost in your eyes. 398 00:15:25,223 --> 00:15:26,725 They are as 399 00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:27,960 - [Dave] Turquoise. 400 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,628 - They're as kook-eyed. 401 00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:30,462 - Turquoise. 402 00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:33,898 Turquoise. 403 00:15:33,898 --> 00:15:34,733 - Click-eyed 404 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,068 (audience laughs) 405 00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:39,505 That's what a wink is called, it's a click-eye! 406 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,675 - Member from back in the day they'd say, oh, click eyed. 407 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,810 - Your eyes are as click-eyed as a. 408 00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:47,378 (Dave mumbles) 409 00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:54,018 - Can you just excuse me for a minute? 410 00:15:54,018 --> 00:15:55,487 - I hope so. - Okay. 411 00:15:55,487 --> 00:15:57,288 You know what, just order anything off the menu, 412 00:15:57,288 --> 00:16:00,925 I got my allowance today. - Oh, good, okay, thanks. 413 00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:03,328 - What are you doing? 414 00:16:03,328 --> 00:16:05,097 Click-eyed, what does that even mean? 415 00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:06,732 - Turquoise, (mumbles) turquoise. 416 00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:10,935 (audience laughs) 417 00:16:10,935 --> 00:16:13,538 (Dave mumbles) 418 00:16:14,873 --> 00:16:15,707 - I don't know what your saying! 419 00:16:15,707 --> 00:16:16,942 - Turquoise. 420 00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:18,910 - Check eyes. - Turquoise. 421 00:16:18,910 --> 00:16:20,712 - Turquoise - Yes! 422 00:16:20,712 --> 00:16:21,547 - Turquoise. 423 00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:26,852 (John and Dave groan) 424 00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:29,355 - Anyways, what did you order? 425 00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:30,822 - Page seven. 426 00:16:30,822 --> 00:16:33,325 - Oh, okay, you've got a healthy appetite. 427 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,228 - Yeah, it's the seafood, page seven. 428 00:16:36,228 --> 00:16:39,197 - Your eyes are as turquoise-- 429 00:16:39,197 --> 00:16:42,067 - As slimy turtles. 430 00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:43,935 (audience laughs) 431 00:16:43,935 --> 00:16:46,672 Your eyes are as turquoise as phlegmy pickles. 432 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,440 (audience laughs) 433 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,875 - Is this 'cause of my singing voice? 434 00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:54,447 - Yes, yes, they remind me of those pickles you eat, 435 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,115 and you get like a lot of phlegm in your throat. 436 00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:58,517 - That's what we named the band, the Phlegmy Pickles. 437 00:16:58,517 --> 00:16:59,985 (audience laughs) 438 00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:01,387 - Your eyes. - Your eyes. 439 00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:04,022 - Are as turquoise. - Your eyes are as turquoise 440 00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:07,692 - As slimy turtles. 441 00:17:07,692 --> 00:17:10,362 (audience laughs) 442 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:12,163 - As. - Slimy. 443 00:17:12,163 --> 00:17:13,398 - Slimy. - Yeah. 444 00:17:13,398 --> 00:17:14,232 - [Dave] Turtles. 445 00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:17,468 - Turtles. 446 00:17:17,468 --> 00:17:18,770 (audience claps) 447 00:17:18,770 --> 00:17:19,672 Your eyes. 448 00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:24,075 - Oh, that wasn't okay. 449 00:17:24,075 --> 00:17:25,010 (audience laughs) 450 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:27,278 - Your eyes are as turquoise 451 00:17:27,278 --> 00:17:31,150 as those slimy turtles we saw at the aquarium. 452 00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:33,418 - Oh, I remember that, that was sweet. 453 00:17:33,418 --> 00:17:34,987 - Remember that, that was a good memory we shared. 454 00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:37,088 - Yeah, I was there by myself with my family, 455 00:17:37,088 --> 00:17:38,790 and then there you were (laughs) weird. 456 00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:40,525 - Just behind some garbage cans. 457 00:17:40,525 --> 00:17:41,760 - No, it's fine, it was good. 458 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,162 - It was good. - It was good. 459 00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:44,630 - Anyways, that was good memory. 460 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,198 You know what, that brings me to my second point. 461 00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:52,137 The seafood is gonna be here in minute, 462 00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:55,973 Before it gets here, I just wanted to tell you that you. 463 00:17:57,542 --> 00:17:59,143 (Dave mumbles) 464 00:17:59,143 --> 00:18:02,380 (audience laughs) 465 00:18:02,380 --> 00:18:03,948 - [Dave] As a sharp chainsaw! 466 00:18:07,185 --> 00:18:08,820 (Dave mumbles) 467 00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:10,488 (audience laughs) 468 00:18:10,488 --> 00:18:11,657 - Do you know Japanese? 469 00:18:12,523 --> 00:18:13,658 (audience laughs) 470 00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:16,262 - Konnichi-no I don't. (laughs) 471 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,063 No, I don't. 472 00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:22,667 - Okay, all right, here's what I wanna tell you, you're-- 473 00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:23,768 - Is the seafood here-- - Hello. 474 00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:24,803 - Oh, goodness! 475 00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:25,870 (audience laughs) 476 00:18:25,870 --> 00:18:27,138 - Would you like some water? 477 00:18:27,138 --> 00:18:28,507 - What's wrong with his face? 478 00:18:28,507 --> 00:18:30,208 - I don't know, I think he had-- 479 00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:31,877 - Oh, oh. 480 00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:34,747 - Aw, come on! - That's awkward. 481 00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:37,382 - Hopefully this is actual water. 482 00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:41,052 Thank you, waiter, we ordered seafood. 483 00:18:41,052 --> 00:18:43,355 (Dave mumbles) 484 00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:45,990 (audience laughs) 485 00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:46,892 - I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 486 00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:48,093 - Okay. 487 00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:49,327 - I lost my appetite with that thing 488 00:18:49,327 --> 00:18:50,928 that happened with whats-his-face. 489 00:18:50,928 --> 00:18:52,497 So, I'll be back in a minute. 490 00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:54,032 - Okay, yeah, take your time. 491 00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:56,668 - Thank you, I will, it's gonna be good, thank you, 492 00:18:56,668 --> 00:18:58,070 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 493 00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,572 - [Dave] Yeah, yeah. 494 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:02,040 - Okay, would you stop touching me? 495 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,110 Okay, you said, "Turquoise as slimy turtles", I got that! 496 00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:06,645 - That's good, that's good. 497 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:09,147 (Dave mumbles) 498 00:19:09,147 --> 00:19:11,148 - Okay, but the next one, your snot? 499 00:19:11,148 --> 00:19:13,918 (Dave mumbles) 500 00:19:13,918 --> 00:19:15,020 (audience laughs) 501 00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,622 What, your thoughts? 502 00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:18,223 (Dave mumbles) 503 00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:19,357 (audience laughs) 504 00:19:19,357 --> 00:19:21,993 (Dave mumbles) 505 00:19:21,993 --> 00:19:22,928 - Thought? 506 00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:23,828 - No, smart. 507 00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:26,063 - Smart? - Yes! 508 00:19:26,063 --> 00:19:26,898 - You're smart. 509 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:31,803 (imitates chainsaw revving) 510 00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:33,738 (audience laughs) 511 00:19:33,738 --> 00:19:34,907 - Hey! - Hi! 512 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,675 - What did you do to your hair? 513 00:19:37,608 --> 00:19:38,777 It looks great! 514 00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:40,745 - They didn't have toilet paper so I just, 515 00:19:40,745 --> 00:19:43,348 (audience laughs) 516 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,883 - I had to blow my nose on my hair is what I was saying. 517 00:19:45,883 --> 00:19:49,087 - Okay, anyways, what I wanted to say, that was creative. 518 00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:50,188 - Thank you. 519 00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:53,458 - And you are as smart-- 520 00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:55,293 - As a sharp chainsaw 521 00:19:55,293 --> 00:19:58,330 - As a sharp chainsaw 522 00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:01,633 (audience cheers and applauds) 523 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:03,202 Once you get that motor going, 524 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,170 you cut through all the problems. 525 00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:07,138 - Takes like seven pumps and some priming, 526 00:20:07,138 --> 00:20:09,608 but once I get it figured out, I'm pretty smart. 527 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,142 - That's right, that's right, 528 00:20:11,142 --> 00:20:14,312 and I happen to know your middle name is Husqvarna. 529 00:20:14,312 --> 00:20:16,915 - That's 'cause you took my birth certificate, you weirdo. 530 00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:18,150 (audience laughs) 531 00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:19,450 - I did, I'll get that back to you 532 00:20:19,450 --> 00:20:20,885 after I get it back from Staples. 533 00:20:20,885 --> 00:20:22,387 - Okay. 534 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:25,257 - Anyways, I think the date's going well, don't you think? 535 00:20:25,257 --> 00:20:27,758 - Sure. - Okay, all right. 536 00:20:27,758 --> 00:20:29,928 There's one more thing I wanna say, all right, 537 00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:31,263 and then we can go to the movies. 538 00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:33,232 - Oh, good it doesn't end. 539 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,465 (audience laughs) 540 00:20:34,465 --> 00:20:37,235 - All right, here's what I wanted to say, okay, 541 00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:41,205 we know about your eyes, and I value your thoughts, 542 00:20:41,205 --> 00:20:42,840 all right, you're a smart person, 543 00:20:44,175 --> 00:20:46,345 (Dave mumbles) 544 00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:49,513 - I love you more than gooey Nutella. 545 00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:54,118 (audience laughs) 546 00:20:54,118 --> 00:20:55,353 - Are you having a stroke? 547 00:20:55,353 --> 00:20:57,957 I love you more than tangy Nutella. 548 00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:03,028 - You love me more than tangy Nutella? 549 00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,963 Do you even love tangy Nutella? 550 00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:06,732 - Well, no, but you're above that. 551 00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,700 - Hey, the waiter's here! - Hello! 552 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:12,803 - Hi, oh, good, it's some bread, that is not. 553 00:21:12,803 --> 00:21:14,305 - Here you go. 554 00:21:14,305 --> 00:21:16,975 - Still waiting on that seafood there, Pierre. 555 00:21:16,975 --> 00:21:18,510 Yeah, I know, we're getting there. 556 00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:21,380 - You know what, it's seafood, they probably had to cook it. 557 00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:23,948 (Dave mumbles) 558 00:21:26,117 --> 00:21:28,953 (audience laughs) 559 00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:32,757 (Dave mumbles) 560 00:21:32,757 --> 00:21:35,293 - Hey lock jaw, can you stop hitting on my date? 561 00:21:35,293 --> 00:21:36,962 - Sorry, sorry! - That'd be great. 562 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,730 (audience laughs) 563 00:21:38,730 --> 00:21:39,965 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 564 00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:42,233 - Thanks, Danny Dental, thank you! 565 00:21:42,233 --> 00:21:43,635 - I get it from all corners. 566 00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:46,505 I gotta say, I love you more than-- 567 00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:50,108 - Gooey Nutella. - Gooey Nutella. 568 00:21:50,108 --> 00:21:51,343 (audience cheers and applauds) 569 00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:54,112 I love you more than gooey Nutella! 570 00:21:54,112 --> 00:21:57,982 And your eyes are like turquoise slimy turtles, 571 00:21:57,982 --> 00:22:00,985 and your thoughts are sharper than a chainsaw. 572 00:22:00,985 --> 00:22:02,453 Will you marry me? 573 00:22:02,453 --> 00:22:04,022 - Aw, yeah! 574 00:22:04,022 --> 00:22:06,358 - I was gonna say no, but after that guy hit on you, 575 00:22:06,358 --> 00:22:08,693 I think you might be more special than I thought. 576 00:22:08,693 --> 00:22:10,895 Yeah, I'll marry you! - Yes! 577 00:22:10,895 --> 00:22:12,163 (audience applauds) 578 00:22:12,163 --> 00:22:13,132 Oh come on, you can do better than that. 579 00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:16,835 (audience cheers and applauds) 580 00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:18,303 There we go. 581 00:22:18,303 --> 00:22:20,338 All right, how we doin', you guys having fun? 582 00:22:20,338 --> 00:22:23,408 (audience cheers) 583 00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:25,177 - All right, so the next sketch 584 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:29,280 we're gonna do is a sketch called, Late for Work. 585 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:33,652 Dave is our boss, I'm gonna call up some volunteers. 586 00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:35,287 We've got Mrs. Crumb, 587 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:37,522 (audience cheers) 588 00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,690 and Mrs. Deyoung. 589 00:22:39,690 --> 00:22:41,993 (audience cheers) 590 00:22:41,993 --> 00:22:45,030 and we've got Mr. Zuidhof, 591 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:48,300 (audience cheers) 592 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,302 And we've got Mr. Driediger. 593 00:22:51,135 --> 00:22:54,405 (audience claps) 594 00:22:54,405 --> 00:22:56,107 So come on up here. 595 00:23:02,213 --> 00:23:03,715 Now, by the looks on their faces, 596 00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:05,083 they didn't know they were on the volunteer list 597 00:23:05,083 --> 00:23:07,418 but I'm okay with that. 598 00:23:07,418 --> 00:23:08,887 Come on up, come on up. 599 00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,788 First of all, give these guys a hand for helping us out. 600 00:23:10,788 --> 00:23:13,792 (audience applauds) 601 00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:20,265 - Okay, all right, so here's what we're gonna do, 602 00:23:20,265 --> 00:23:22,433 we're gonna play late for work, Dave is the boss, 603 00:23:22,433 --> 00:23:25,670 Chris and I are late for work. 604 00:23:25,670 --> 00:23:26,872 We're gonna leave the room, 605 00:23:26,872 --> 00:23:29,240 Dave is gonna get suggestions from you. 606 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,912 When we come in, ladies you will be telling Chris, 607 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:35,747 you'll be helping him figure out 608 00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:38,217 how he's late for work, okay. 609 00:23:38,217 --> 00:23:40,252 Gentlemen, you're on my team. 610 00:23:41,418 --> 00:23:44,388 Objective, crush the ladies, all right. 611 00:23:44,388 --> 00:23:45,590 (audience laughs) 612 00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:49,027 You're gonna be helping me, not physically. 613 00:23:49,027 --> 00:23:50,595 - I know, yes. (audience laughs) 614 00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:51,830 - He flexed and I thought, 615 00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:54,032 Oh, this is gonna get really bad. (groans) 616 00:23:54,032 --> 00:23:55,700 (audience laughs) 617 00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:57,302 It's the Mennonite blood I think. 618 00:23:57,302 --> 00:23:58,537 (audience laughs) 619 00:23:58,537 --> 00:23:59,938 So, Dave, you wanna take it from here? 620 00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:01,338 - I'm ready to go, you guys gonna go out? 621 00:24:01,338 --> 00:24:02,640 - Yeah, we're gonna go out. 622 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,242 - Who will come and get you when you're ready? 623 00:24:04,242 --> 00:24:05,543 Are you gonna be far? 624 00:24:05,543 --> 00:24:07,312 - Are we gonna be far, I don't know. 625 00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:11,048 - All right, so guys, you're gonna do the actions for John. 626 00:24:11,048 --> 00:24:12,283 So, lets get some suggestions. 627 00:24:12,283 --> 00:24:13,718 First of all what I need is this, 628 00:24:13,718 --> 00:24:15,487 I'm gonna write them down 'cause I forget 'cause I'm old. 629 00:24:15,487 --> 00:24:18,957 Here's thing, famous monument in America? 630 00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:20,425 (audience shouting) 631 00:24:20,425 --> 00:24:23,562 Statue of Liberty I heard, okay. 632 00:24:24,997 --> 00:24:27,998 Okay, now, I need something 633 00:24:27,998 --> 00:24:32,103 that will never be an Olympic sport. 634 00:24:32,103 --> 00:24:35,473 (audience shouts) 635 00:24:35,473 --> 00:24:36,307 What's that? 636 00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:39,945 (audience shouting) 637 00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:42,013 Marshmallow what? - Roasting. 638 00:24:42,013 --> 00:24:44,748 - Marshmallow roasting, okay, we'll do that. 639 00:24:46,752 --> 00:24:48,820 That sounds like a lot of fun. 640 00:24:49,955 --> 00:24:53,625 All right, now, I need a very unique tool 641 00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:57,028 that you would use to renovate a home. 642 00:24:57,028 --> 00:24:59,730 (audience shouts) 643 00:24:59,730 --> 00:25:00,565 A what? 644 00:25:02,700 --> 00:25:06,337 A bulldozer, I like that, we're gonna go with bulldozer. 645 00:25:07,738 --> 00:25:09,707 That's what you use to demolish a house, excellent. 646 00:25:09,707 --> 00:25:12,943 All right, so guys, you have Statue of Liberty, 647 00:25:12,943 --> 00:25:15,480 that's the place, the thing they're doing 648 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:20,485 is marshmallow roasting, and the thing is bulldozer, okay. 649 00:25:21,787 --> 00:25:25,557 So, Statue of Liberty, marshmallow roasting, bulldozer. 650 00:25:25,557 --> 00:25:26,792 You got it? 651 00:25:26,792 --> 00:25:28,260 And, we'll do it one at a time, all right. 652 00:25:28,260 --> 00:25:30,595 Now, lets get some suggestions for the ladies for Chris. 653 00:25:30,595 --> 00:25:34,565 Give me building that is drafty and cold. 654 00:25:34,565 --> 00:25:37,702 (audience shouts) 655 00:25:37,702 --> 00:25:41,673 I heard, okay, we're gonna go grandma's house 656 00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:44,910 because my grandma's house is drafty and cold. 657 00:25:44,910 --> 00:25:48,513 All right, now, here's another one, give me an activity 658 00:25:48,513 --> 00:25:51,382 that you would likely hurt your knee doing. 659 00:25:51,382 --> 00:25:54,385 (audience shouting) 660 00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:01,693 Okay, hold on, give me something unique. 661 00:26:01,693 --> 00:26:04,595 I don't want soccer or baseball, what'd you say? 662 00:26:04,595 --> 00:26:07,598 (audience shouting) 663 00:26:09,567 --> 00:26:13,672 Tiling, okay, excellent, tiling. 664 00:26:13,672 --> 00:26:15,507 You guys ready for that, tiling? 665 00:26:15,507 --> 00:26:18,610 And give me something in the kitchen 666 00:26:18,610 --> 00:26:20,712 that needs to be plugged in. 667 00:26:20,712 --> 00:26:23,715 (audience shouting) 668 00:26:24,915 --> 00:26:28,553 I heard microwave, we're gonna go microwave. 669 00:26:29,620 --> 00:26:32,723 All right, so, a building that is drafty 670 00:26:32,723 --> 00:26:35,193 is grandma's house, all right. 671 00:26:35,193 --> 00:26:36,427 An activity that you do 672 00:26:36,427 --> 00:26:38,930 that you would hurt your knees is tiling, 673 00:26:38,930 --> 00:26:40,198 and something you need to plug in 674 00:26:40,198 --> 00:26:43,635 in the kitchen is a microwave, okay. 675 00:26:43,635 --> 00:26:47,038 Grandma's house, tiling, microwave. 676 00:26:47,038 --> 00:26:49,040 Okay, you guys got yours? 677 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:53,110 - Liberty, roasting marshmallows, bulldozer. 678 00:26:53,110 --> 00:26:54,678 - Awesome. 679 00:26:54,678 --> 00:26:57,048 Eddie, Betty are the boys here yet? 680 00:26:57,048 --> 00:26:58,550 Oh, they're not. 681 00:26:58,550 --> 00:27:00,318 Eddie, can you please send them in when they get here? 682 00:27:00,318 --> 00:27:02,520 All right, thank you, all right, bye-bye. 683 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,855 Oh, these guys are always late. 684 00:27:04,855 --> 00:27:07,825 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 685 00:27:07,825 --> 00:27:11,062 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 686 00:27:11,062 --> 00:27:12,097 Happy birthday, boss! 687 00:27:12,097 --> 00:27:13,565 - Thank you, Jonathan, 688 00:27:13,565 --> 00:27:15,667 but you do realize you're a little late. 689 00:27:15,667 --> 00:27:16,968 Do you realize what time it is? 690 00:27:16,968 --> 00:27:18,437 - I know I am late. 691 00:27:18,437 --> 00:27:20,672 I know it is 11 o'clock in the morning. 692 00:27:20,672 --> 00:27:22,407 - Do you know when we start working? 693 00:27:22,407 --> 00:27:24,942 - Before that? - Exactly. 694 00:27:24,942 --> 00:27:29,947 - However, I've been keeping track, for 364 days, 695 00:27:30,815 --> 00:27:32,050 'cause it's your birthday. 696 00:27:32,050 --> 00:27:33,283 - I know, John, and I appreciate that 697 00:27:33,283 --> 00:27:35,287 but I got a business to run. 698 00:27:35,287 --> 00:27:39,123 Could you, please, just tell me where you were? 699 00:27:39,123 --> 00:27:40,792 - Where was I? - Where were you? 700 00:27:40,792 --> 00:27:41,927 - Where was I? 701 00:27:41,927 --> 00:27:43,695 Okay, I'll give you some hints. 702 00:27:43,695 --> 00:27:44,895 All right - Okay. 703 00:27:44,895 --> 00:27:46,030 - I was.. 704 00:27:48,567 --> 00:27:52,570 I was singing. 705 00:27:52,570 --> 00:27:53,505 - Singing were ya? 706 00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:54,438 - I was singing 707 00:27:54,438 --> 00:27:55,607 - You got a lovely voice, do ya? 708 00:27:55,607 --> 00:27:58,577 - I have a lovely voice, but I was angry. 709 00:27:58,577 --> 00:27:59,877 - Oh, you're an angry singer, are ya? 710 00:27:59,877 --> 00:28:02,880 - Oh, yes. - I like that. 711 00:28:03,748 --> 00:28:05,217 - I was with royalty. 712 00:28:05,217 --> 00:28:07,718 - Oh, you're singing to royalty? 713 00:28:07,718 --> 00:28:09,720 - I was singing to royalty, they had a crown-- 714 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,155 - Oh, that's great. 715 00:28:11,155 --> 00:28:13,190 - And they were holding up a... 716 00:28:13,190 --> 00:28:17,195 (audience laughs and applauds) 717 00:28:22,967 --> 00:28:26,037 And then for awhile there I was constipated. 718 00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:27,272 (audience laughs) 719 00:28:27,272 --> 00:28:28,272 - [Dave] Jonathan, that's not good. 720 00:28:28,272 --> 00:28:30,142 - Yesterday was a tough day. 721 00:28:30,142 --> 00:28:30,975 - I can tell. 722 00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:34,612 - I'll tell you what, I'll tell you where I was. 723 00:28:34,612 --> 00:28:35,813 - Okay. - Okay, yep. 724 00:28:36,882 --> 00:28:41,018 - I was, I had a little gas, 725 00:28:41,018 --> 00:28:43,220 and I was reaching for the Tums, 726 00:28:44,222 --> 00:28:46,023 where is the Tums? 727 00:28:46,023 --> 00:28:48,192 I couldn't find it, but 728 00:28:51,328 --> 00:28:53,330 I was looking at a, 729 00:28:54,265 --> 00:28:56,400 I was sight-seeing, yeah. 730 00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:57,935 - Oh, excellent, did you know where 731 00:28:57,935 --> 00:28:58,803 you we're sight-seeing, John? 732 00:28:58,803 --> 00:29:00,805 - I was sightseeing... 733 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,710 by an apple. - An apple? 734 00:29:05,710 --> 00:29:07,978 - I was sightseeing by a big apple! 735 00:29:07,978 --> 00:29:08,913 (audience laughs) 736 00:29:08,913 --> 00:29:10,215 - I'll tell you where I was. 737 00:29:10,215 --> 00:29:11,348 - All right, I'm waiting for it. 738 00:29:11,348 --> 00:29:12,550 - I was at the Statue of Liberty! 739 00:29:12,550 --> 00:29:15,087 - Oh, that's great, that's great. 740 00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:17,155 (audience cheers and applauds) 741 00:29:17,155 --> 00:29:18,623 - All right, John. 742 00:29:18,623 --> 00:29:20,192 - And I gotta good surprise for you! 743 00:29:20,192 --> 00:29:22,327 - All right, all right, you're at the Statue of Liberty, 744 00:29:22,327 --> 00:29:24,895 can I ask you what you're doing at the Statue of Liberty, 745 00:29:24,895 --> 00:29:26,763 'cause you're a different little boy? 746 00:29:28,098 --> 00:29:29,233 - I'm creative. 747 00:29:29,233 --> 00:29:30,535 - You're very creative, yes you are. 748 00:29:30,535 --> 00:29:32,003 - I think outside the box. 749 00:29:32,003 --> 00:29:34,372 - Okay, so what were you doing at the Statue of Liberty? 750 00:29:34,372 --> 00:29:38,142 - So, I went to see the Statue of Liberty, 751 00:29:38,142 --> 00:29:40,745 and here's what I was doing. 752 00:29:40,745 --> 00:29:41,578 - All right. 753 00:29:41,578 --> 00:29:42,413 - I was... 754 00:29:45,115 --> 00:29:47,952 (audience laughs) 755 00:29:50,788 --> 00:29:53,592 - I was blowing kisses at strangers. 756 00:29:53,592 --> 00:29:54,925 (audience laughs) 757 00:29:54,925 --> 00:29:57,462 - Wow, that would of been great. 758 00:29:57,462 --> 00:30:01,698 - I got down on my knees and I wanted to propose to someone, 759 00:30:01,698 --> 00:30:03,400 and so I just kept (blowing). 760 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,903 - Just randomly, is that what you did? 761 00:30:05,903 --> 00:30:07,972 - I'm now engaged. - How'd that go for ya? 762 00:30:07,972 --> 00:30:09,440 - I'm now engaged to three ladies. 763 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:10,708 - Oh, way to go. 764 00:30:10,708 --> 00:30:14,045 - Yes, I was, I was 765 00:30:14,045 --> 00:30:16,113 - You weren't done? 766 00:30:16,113 --> 00:30:19,150 - Besides getting engaged 767 00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:21,752 (audience laughs) 768 00:30:21,752 --> 00:30:26,257 I was lacking fiber in my diet. 769 00:30:26,257 --> 00:30:28,693 and decided to have a camp fire. 770 00:30:30,562 --> 00:30:32,130 - And what were you doing on the campfire? 771 00:30:32,130 --> 00:30:33,463 - What was I doing on the campfire? 772 00:30:33,463 --> 00:30:35,800 - Yes. - Roasting marshmallows! 773 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:37,368 - Oh, that's great. 774 00:30:38,770 --> 00:30:41,238 - All right, so, let me get this straight, Jonathan. 775 00:30:41,238 --> 00:30:44,975 What you did, is you went to the Statue of Liberty. 776 00:30:44,975 --> 00:30:47,478 - Yes. - Instead of sightseeing, 777 00:30:47,478 --> 00:30:48,713 - Roasting marshmallows! 778 00:30:48,713 --> 00:30:50,013 - That's great. 779 00:30:50,013 --> 00:30:51,215 - Right at the base of the Statue of Liberty, 780 00:30:51,215 --> 00:30:52,450 right by her little toe. 781 00:30:52,450 --> 00:30:54,018 - Okay, well, that's very impressive. 782 00:30:54,018 --> 00:30:56,787 Now, Jonathan, you know this, that you been late many times. 783 00:30:56,787 --> 00:30:58,322 But you know that you win me over 784 00:30:58,322 --> 00:31:00,492 every time you bring me back something, 785 00:31:00,492 --> 00:31:02,360 and I heard it's my birthday, 786 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,962 so what you bring me back? 787 00:31:03,962 --> 00:31:07,365 - I got you something you're gonna show all of your friends! 788 00:31:08,532 --> 00:31:10,335 - I remember last year's gift was great. 789 00:31:10,335 --> 00:31:11,535 - Every barbecue you have, 790 00:31:11,535 --> 00:31:13,037 you're gonna tell all your friends, 791 00:31:13,037 --> 00:31:15,740 "Hey, come here, and look at this great gift John got me!" 792 00:31:15,740 --> 00:31:17,742 - Okay, what you get me, Jonathan? 793 00:31:17,742 --> 00:31:20,512 - I'll give you a hint, it's huge! 794 00:31:20,512 --> 00:31:21,578 - Okay. 795 00:31:26,117 --> 00:31:28,953 (audience laughs) 796 00:31:30,522 --> 00:31:32,690 - And it's gonna make you have seizures! 797 00:31:32,690 --> 00:31:35,593 - Oh, I can't wait! 798 00:31:38,262 --> 00:31:41,967 - I'm just trying to remember how to describe it. 799 00:31:41,967 --> 00:31:43,400 (audience laughs) 800 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,770 - Take your time, John, don't rush, don't rush. 801 00:31:46,903 --> 00:31:48,305 - You know how you're building a house? 802 00:31:48,305 --> 00:31:50,073 I got you a jackhammer! 803 00:31:50,073 --> 00:31:52,143 - Oh, a jackhammer? 804 00:31:52,143 --> 00:31:55,547 - Not just a jackhammer, though, something more bigger! 805 00:31:55,547 --> 00:31:56,547 (Dave gasps) 806 00:31:56,547 --> 00:31:58,617 Bigger than a jackhammer. 807 00:31:59,550 --> 00:32:02,353 (audience laughs) 808 00:32:04,022 --> 00:32:07,792 I got you a snow plow! 809 00:32:07,792 --> 00:32:09,727 - Oh, a snowplow? 810 00:32:09,727 --> 00:32:11,762 - Bigger than a snowplow! 811 00:32:11,762 --> 00:32:12,897 - This is getting exciting! 812 00:32:12,897 --> 00:32:14,132 - I got you a-- 813 00:32:14,132 --> 00:32:15,633 - It was a jackhammer, now it's a snowplow, 814 00:32:15,633 --> 00:32:17,102 what could it possibly be now? 815 00:32:17,102 --> 00:32:19,770 - What could be bigger than a snowplow he wondered. 816 00:32:19,770 --> 00:32:20,605 (audience laughs) 817 00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:22,107 - I got you a bulldozer! 818 00:32:23,540 --> 00:32:25,310 - Oh, Jonathan! 819 00:32:25,310 --> 00:32:27,312 (audience cheers and applauds) 820 00:32:27,312 --> 00:32:28,947 - It's a bulldozer for you! 821 00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:30,915 - That's great, I always wanted a bulldozer! 822 00:32:30,915 --> 00:32:32,150 - I know! 823 00:32:32,150 --> 00:32:33,550 - All right, now it's time to go back to work. 824 00:32:33,550 --> 00:32:36,687 And if you see Christopher, please send him in. 825 00:32:36,687 --> 00:32:38,122 - I need to go in my office. 826 00:32:38,122 --> 00:32:39,490 - All right, I'm gonna go that way. 827 00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:40,725 - I'm gonna go this way. - Okay. 828 00:32:40,725 --> 00:32:42,193 - All right, thank you so much, happy birthday! 829 00:32:42,193 --> 00:32:45,497 - Thank you very much. - It's the boss' birthday! 830 00:32:45,497 --> 00:32:48,498 (audience applauds) 831 00:32:50,568 --> 00:32:54,338 - Oh, look who it is, it's Christopher! 832 00:32:54,338 --> 00:32:56,773 Thank you so much for gracing us with your presence. 833 00:32:56,773 --> 00:32:59,210 Do you realize that you're late for work again? 834 00:32:59,210 --> 00:33:00,978 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 835 00:33:00,978 --> 00:33:02,513 (audience laughs) 836 00:33:02,513 --> 00:33:04,448 - Okay, listen to me, I'm gonna cut to the chase. 837 00:33:04,448 --> 00:33:06,350 I'm not gonna beat around the bush anymore. 838 00:33:06,350 --> 00:33:07,852 Where were you? 839 00:33:07,852 --> 00:33:08,987 - Your accent's funny (laughs). 840 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:09,787 - Thank you. 841 00:33:11,288 --> 00:33:13,725 - I was somewhere super important. 842 00:33:13,725 --> 00:33:14,958 - Were ya? 843 00:33:14,958 --> 00:33:16,327 - Yeah, I was gonna be here, but I didn't, so. 844 00:33:16,327 --> 00:33:18,930 - So what's more important than work? 845 00:33:18,930 --> 00:33:20,632 - My mom was in a home. 846 00:33:20,632 --> 00:33:23,133 - Oh, your visiting your mother? 847 00:33:23,133 --> 00:33:24,302 - Yeah. 848 00:33:24,302 --> 00:33:25,370 - What a good little boy you are. 849 00:33:25,370 --> 00:33:27,805 I know, see it was good, right? 850 00:33:27,805 --> 00:33:29,973 No, I was... 851 00:33:29,973 --> 00:33:32,443 (audience laughs) 852 00:33:32,443 --> 00:33:36,847 It was square, and there was an old person. 853 00:33:36,847 --> 00:33:38,315 I was playing Monopoly. 854 00:33:38,315 --> 00:33:39,583 - With an old person? 855 00:33:39,583 --> 00:33:42,720 - No, like the monocle guy. - Oh, I see. 856 00:33:44,522 --> 00:33:48,358 - I was struggling, is what I was doing. 857 00:33:48,358 --> 00:33:49,993 (audience laughs) 858 00:33:49,993 --> 00:33:54,198 - I was in a church, a house, I was in a house. 859 00:33:54,198 --> 00:33:55,032 - You're in a house? 860 00:33:55,032 --> 00:33:55,967 - I was in a-- 861 00:33:55,967 --> 00:33:56,767 - Who's house were you in? 862 00:33:56,767 --> 00:33:58,302 - Was in the house! 863 00:33:58,302 --> 00:33:59,703 (audience laughs) 864 00:33:59,703 --> 00:34:02,440 - Like a party time? - Yeah, I know, right, yeah. 865 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:03,273 - [Save] So, you were in a house. 866 00:34:03,273 --> 00:34:04,142 Who's house were you in? 867 00:34:05,375 --> 00:34:09,313 - I think I was just in, like, a retirement home, 868 00:34:09,313 --> 00:34:14,185 and I was up in the attic of a retirement home. 869 00:34:14,185 --> 00:34:15,453 (audience laughs) 870 00:34:15,453 --> 00:34:18,055 I was spying on old people in the attic! 871 00:34:18,055 --> 00:34:19,323 - That's a little awkward. 872 00:34:19,323 --> 00:34:21,058 - No, it's great, I'll take their things like, 873 00:34:21,058 --> 00:34:22,627 where are they going? - Let me tell you something, 874 00:34:22,627 --> 00:34:25,062 Chris, you're in the house of an old person, 875 00:34:25,062 --> 00:34:26,397 who was that old person? 876 00:34:26,397 --> 00:34:27,998 Was that someone near and dear to you? 877 00:34:27,998 --> 00:34:29,633 - I was in the house of an old person. 878 00:34:29,633 --> 00:34:31,968 - Was that person near and dear to ya? 879 00:34:31,968 --> 00:34:33,972 - It was an old boxer. 880 00:34:33,972 --> 00:34:35,238 (audience laughs) 881 00:34:35,238 --> 00:34:37,975 - An old boxer? - A championship boxer. 882 00:34:40,512 --> 00:34:42,380 - [Dave] Did you know this old person? 883 00:34:42,380 --> 00:34:44,282 - It was my mother. 884 00:34:45,115 --> 00:34:46,683 - Oh, is she that old? 885 00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:50,855 - It was my grandmother. 886 00:34:50,855 --> 00:34:53,623 - [Dave] Oh, you're at your grandmother's house! 887 00:34:53,623 --> 00:34:55,158 - [Chris] I was at my grandma's house! 888 00:34:55,158 --> 00:34:58,362 - All right, so Christopher, you're late for work. 889 00:34:58,362 --> 00:35:00,732 I do love my grandmother, so I do get it, 890 00:35:00,732 --> 00:35:03,935 but what were you doing at your grandma's house. 891 00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:07,238 - Oh no, its a really good, okay, 892 00:35:07,238 --> 00:35:10,708 the reason I was there is 'cause she fell down, right. 893 00:35:10,708 --> 00:35:12,743 - [Dave] Oh, she fell down? 894 00:35:12,743 --> 00:35:14,378 - [Chris] Doing yoga, and I folded her in half 895 00:35:14,378 --> 00:35:16,480 - You folded her in half? 896 00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:17,982 How did she feel after you fold her in half? 897 00:35:17,982 --> 00:35:21,418 - I don't know, I tried to glue her leg back together. 898 00:35:21,418 --> 00:35:23,888 - Oh, you glued her, did she like that? 899 00:35:23,888 --> 00:35:28,893 - No, 'cause she, after I, she, 900 00:35:29,627 --> 00:35:30,728 I put her in a box. 901 00:35:32,163 --> 00:35:34,365 - So let me get this right, - And then I covered her. 902 00:35:34,365 --> 00:35:36,533 - You went to your grandma's house, you put her in a box, 903 00:35:36,533 --> 00:35:37,902 and you covered her up? 904 00:35:37,902 --> 00:35:39,770 - That's what it sounds like. 905 00:35:39,770 --> 00:35:41,938 - [Dave] You're a crazy gent. 906 00:35:41,938 --> 00:35:43,440 (audience laughs) 907 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,177 - No, I didn't do that, that would be ridiculous. 908 00:35:46,177 --> 00:35:48,913 It looks like I did that, but that is not what I did. 909 00:35:50,047 --> 00:35:50,982 - So, you went to your grandma's house, 910 00:35:50,982 --> 00:35:52,783 did you help her do something? 911 00:35:52,783 --> 00:35:53,750 - Probably not. 912 00:35:55,953 --> 00:35:59,623 I was down, I was folding things, and I was-- 913 00:35:59,623 --> 00:36:00,858 - You were folding? 914 00:36:00,858 --> 00:36:03,027 - Yeah, making sandwiches, no I wasn't. 915 00:36:03,027 --> 00:36:03,962 - You're making a sandwiches? 916 00:36:03,962 --> 00:36:06,130 - I wasn't making sandwiches. 917 00:36:06,130 --> 00:36:08,232 I was putting something on the ground, 918 00:36:09,433 --> 00:36:11,668 and then drawing lines and rubbing it around. 919 00:36:12,837 --> 00:36:15,372 - You were drawing lines and rubbing it around 920 00:36:15,372 --> 00:36:16,307 at your grandma's place? 921 00:36:16,307 --> 00:36:17,708 - Hey, it's my grandma's house! 922 00:36:17,708 --> 00:36:18,642 I do what I want! - I'm not arguing with ya. 923 00:36:20,645 --> 00:36:22,112 - I was laying bricks. 924 00:36:22,112 --> 00:36:24,148 - You were laying bricks on the ground? 925 00:36:24,148 --> 00:36:26,783 - I was trying to box her in. (laughs) 926 00:36:26,783 --> 00:36:28,818 (audience laughs) 927 00:36:28,818 --> 00:36:30,955 - So, Chris, if you're gonna lay something on the ground, 928 00:36:30,955 --> 00:36:33,623 I don't think it'd be bricks, would it? 929 00:36:33,623 --> 00:36:34,625 - I don't know, man! 930 00:36:35,492 --> 00:36:37,093 (audience laughs) 931 00:36:37,093 --> 00:36:40,463 I wasn't building it up, I was building it around. 932 00:36:40,463 --> 00:36:42,533 - So, you're laying something on the floor are ya? 933 00:36:42,533 --> 00:36:46,303 - A road, a cobble road, a stone road. 934 00:36:46,303 --> 00:36:47,438 - Inside? 935 00:36:47,438 --> 00:36:50,107 - No, I was doing a driveway. 936 00:36:50,107 --> 00:36:52,277 I was doing a garden. 937 00:36:52,277 --> 00:36:54,345 - In your grandma's house, let me walk you through this. 938 00:36:54,345 --> 00:36:55,512 - Holy cow! 939 00:36:55,512 --> 00:36:57,615 - You're in your grandma's house, 940 00:36:57,615 --> 00:37:00,150 and you're on the ground inside, 941 00:37:00,150 --> 00:37:01,285 and you said you're laying bricks, 942 00:37:01,285 --> 00:37:03,787 what you doing laying bricks inside? 943 00:37:03,787 --> 00:37:06,090 - I'm not laying bricks. 944 00:37:06,090 --> 00:37:07,725 I was spreading something. 945 00:37:07,725 --> 00:37:09,960 - All right, spreading it - And putting it down. 946 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:11,262 - And arranging it. - And spreading it 947 00:37:11,262 --> 00:37:12,763 and putting it down. 948 00:37:12,763 --> 00:37:14,632 - Was there a lot of them in a row? 949 00:37:14,632 --> 00:37:15,867 - Yes. (audience laughs) 950 00:37:15,867 --> 00:37:17,835 - So, what would that be in a row? 951 00:37:17,835 --> 00:37:19,903 - Dominoes, I don't know! 952 00:37:21,338 --> 00:37:24,375 - Your grandma's house is made of dominoes? 953 00:37:24,375 --> 00:37:25,810 Is that what you're saying to me? 954 00:37:25,810 --> 00:37:28,812 - I could really use a sounds like right about now. 955 00:37:28,812 --> 00:37:29,947 (audience laughs) 956 00:37:29,947 --> 00:37:31,648 - All right, I'm filing this in my head. 957 00:37:31,648 --> 00:37:33,783 I'm gonna file it in my head. 958 00:37:33,783 --> 00:37:35,252 - I was making a filing cabinet. 959 00:37:35,252 --> 00:37:37,153 - You said to rhyme, I'm rhyming, all right? 960 00:37:37,153 --> 00:37:38,622 - I was piling 961 00:37:38,622 --> 00:37:40,557 - You're not piling anything! 962 00:37:40,557 --> 00:37:41,825 (audience laughs) 963 00:37:41,825 --> 00:37:44,362 You might pile them before you lay them! 964 00:37:44,362 --> 00:37:46,597 - Oh, Oh my goodness! 965 00:37:46,597 --> 00:37:49,400 (audience laughs) 966 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:50,500 - What were you doing? 967 00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:52,068 - I was fixing her shower, 968 00:37:52,068 --> 00:37:53,503 all the tile in the bathroom got messed up. 969 00:37:53,503 --> 00:37:55,205 - All right, that's good! 970 00:37:55,205 --> 00:37:59,143 (audience cheers and applauds) 971 00:38:00,343 --> 00:38:01,712 You're laying bricks! - That was an adventure! 972 00:38:01,712 --> 00:38:03,213 I was an adventurous youth 973 00:38:03,213 --> 00:38:04,782 and I just have a hard time thinking now. 974 00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:06,317 - So, let me get this straight, 975 00:38:06,317 --> 00:38:08,252 the reason you're late is you were at your grandma's house, 976 00:38:08,252 --> 00:38:10,888 you're laying tile in her shower for her. 977 00:38:10,888 --> 00:38:11,822 - That's a good grandson 978 00:38:11,822 --> 00:38:13,057 - I know it sounds ridiculous. 979 00:38:13,057 --> 00:38:14,525 - No, I have to let you off this time 980 00:38:14,525 --> 00:38:17,060 because that's being a good grandson, I get it, it's great, 981 00:38:17,060 --> 00:38:19,930 but here's the thing, you know I love it when you bring me 982 00:38:19,930 --> 00:38:22,533 little gifts, little trinkets, little souvenirs. 983 00:38:24,002 --> 00:38:25,168 What did you bring me back from your grandma's house? 984 00:38:25,168 --> 00:38:27,270 - I brought you a bribe. 985 00:38:27,270 --> 00:38:28,472 - A bribe, what'd you bring me? 986 00:38:28,472 --> 00:38:30,240 - Oh, it's really good. 987 00:38:30,240 --> 00:38:32,142 So, I picked this up last night, 988 00:38:32,142 --> 00:38:34,778 and I thought you would really appreciate. 989 00:38:34,778 --> 00:38:35,713 - What is it? 990 00:38:35,713 --> 00:38:36,980 - I don't know. - All right. 991 00:38:36,980 --> 00:38:38,482 - It looks like 992 00:38:40,083 --> 00:38:41,385 a door. 993 00:38:41,385 --> 00:38:42,318 (audience laughs) 994 00:38:42,318 --> 00:38:46,057 It looks like an elevator. 995 00:38:47,157 --> 00:38:48,392 - It fit in my hand, that elevator. 996 00:38:48,392 --> 00:38:50,527 - I didn't say it was a good elevator. 997 00:38:50,527 --> 00:38:51,628 (audience laughs) 998 00:38:51,628 --> 00:38:53,963 I got you a fridge. 999 00:38:53,963 --> 00:38:56,000 - From your grandma's house - I got you a fridge. 1000 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,568 I took my grandmother's fridge and I gave it to you, 1001 00:38:58,568 --> 00:39:00,838 and there's a ghost in it. 1002 00:39:00,838 --> 00:39:02,305 (audience laughs) 1003 00:39:02,305 --> 00:39:03,840 - There's a ghost in your grandma's fridge? 1004 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,143 - Yeah, I didn't make the rules up. 1005 00:39:06,143 --> 00:39:08,445 There's food in the fridge, I take it, 1006 00:39:08,445 --> 00:39:11,015 oh, there's a bird, get it out of your office! 1007 00:39:11,015 --> 00:39:11,948 (audience laughs) 1008 00:39:11,948 --> 00:39:15,318 Oh look, it's a... 1009 00:39:17,888 --> 00:39:20,623 (audience laughs) 1010 00:39:20,623 --> 00:39:22,158 Oh, so. 1011 00:39:23,527 --> 00:39:25,963 - All right, what you bring back, it's in my hand. 1012 00:39:25,963 --> 00:39:29,433 - See, it's actually. (blows air) 1013 00:39:29,433 --> 00:39:30,367 - You blew it up? 1014 00:39:30,367 --> 00:39:31,602 - Oh yeah, no, it's great. 1015 00:39:31,602 --> 00:39:33,503 It's really light and then when you plug it in 1016 00:39:34,605 --> 00:39:36,740 it just flashes 12 o'clock for like 10 days 1017 00:39:36,740 --> 00:39:38,275 'cause you can't figure it out. 1018 00:39:39,577 --> 00:39:40,845 - You blew it up. 1019 00:39:40,845 --> 00:39:43,947 - I got you a camping blow-upable microwave. 1020 00:39:43,947 --> 00:39:45,783 - Oh, I've always wanted one. 1021 00:39:45,783 --> 00:39:47,183 - Yeah, it's pretty good. - That's great! 1022 00:39:47,183 --> 00:39:48,752 (audience cheers and applauds) 1023 00:39:48,752 --> 00:39:50,187 - Is that okay? 1024 00:39:50,187 --> 00:39:51,988 - I love microwaves, I've never seen a blow-up one before. 1025 00:39:51,988 --> 00:39:54,358 - Neither have I, but it had to fit in your hand. 1026 00:39:54,358 --> 00:39:55,927 - All right, I'll just put it in my pocket. 1027 00:39:55,927 --> 00:39:56,760 You can go back to work. 1028 00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,228 - Can I keep my job? 1029 00:39:58,228 --> 00:40:00,197 - You can, thank you very much, that's great, all right. 1030 00:40:00,197 --> 00:40:03,900 (audience applauds) 1031 00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:07,505 - Okay, so by round of applause, who did it better? 1032 00:40:07,505 --> 00:40:09,140 Was it the guys? 1033 00:40:09,140 --> 00:40:13,210 (audience cheers and applauds) 1034 00:40:13,210 --> 00:40:14,812 Was it the ladies? 1035 00:40:14,812 --> 00:40:17,582 (audience cheers) 1036 00:40:17,582 --> 00:40:20,183 I have to say, I have to say, the guys took it. 1037 00:40:20,183 --> 00:40:21,918 - I think I had a lot to do 1038 00:40:21,918 --> 00:40:25,122 with the negative performance of the ladies. 1039 00:40:25,122 --> 00:40:26,390 (audience laughs) 1040 00:40:26,390 --> 00:40:28,125 - I liked the Statue of Liberty up here, 1041 00:40:28,125 --> 00:40:29,627 this was great, this was like. 1042 00:40:31,295 --> 00:40:35,365 - Even people that have never seen a floor before, 1043 00:40:35,365 --> 00:40:36,633 knew that was tiling. 1044 00:40:36,633 --> 00:40:39,203 (audience laughs) 1045 00:40:39,203 --> 00:40:41,138 Our next sketch is called, "Helping Hands". 1046 00:40:41,138 --> 00:40:43,640 Here's how it works, Helping Hands, 1047 00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:47,043 is a scene where Dave and I are gonna do a scene, 1048 00:40:47,043 --> 00:40:48,945 and we have two volunteers from the audience, 1049 00:40:48,945 --> 00:40:50,915 who are going to move us around 1050 00:40:50,915 --> 00:40:53,183 because we can't move ourselves, all right. 1051 00:40:53,183 --> 00:40:56,353 So, we're looking for a Mrs. Overand and Elena. 1052 00:41:00,423 --> 00:41:03,127 (audience claps) 1053 00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:04,662 - Here we go. - Yay! 1054 00:41:07,130 --> 00:41:09,333 - Oh, come on you can do better than that! 1055 00:41:09,333 --> 00:41:12,102 (audience cheers and applauds) 1056 00:41:12,102 --> 00:41:15,272 There we go, all right, all right. 1057 00:41:15,272 --> 00:41:18,908 So, here's how it's gonna work, all right, 1058 00:41:20,143 --> 00:41:22,478 Mrs. Overund, you're gonna be moving Dave. 1059 00:41:23,447 --> 00:41:24,648 - Like now? 1060 00:41:24,648 --> 00:41:27,183 - No. - Soon, very soon! 1061 00:41:27,183 --> 00:41:28,485 - Don't move 'em yet. - Pretty excited. 1062 00:41:28,485 --> 00:41:30,453 - She's a take control person, isn't she? 1063 00:41:30,453 --> 00:41:31,655 - I'll move him right now. 1064 00:41:31,655 --> 00:41:33,557 - She'd make a great teacher I think. 1065 00:41:33,557 --> 00:41:35,325 All right, ere's how it works, okay. 1066 00:41:35,325 --> 00:41:37,127 Now, you listen for Dave's cue. 1067 00:41:37,127 --> 00:41:40,163 If Dave says, "I have to reach something from the cupboard", 1068 00:41:40,163 --> 00:41:42,633 you're gonna lift his hand, all right? 1069 00:41:42,633 --> 00:41:44,768 If you don't move it down, it's gonna stay there. 1070 00:41:45,702 --> 00:41:47,605 When you need to move him around, 1071 00:41:47,605 --> 00:41:50,307 move his shoulders, you can move his feet. 1072 00:41:50,307 --> 00:41:53,110 When he wants to move forward or back, 1073 00:41:54,312 --> 00:41:56,380 forward you just tap the back of his legs. 1074 00:41:56,380 --> 00:41:59,617 The faster you tap the faster he goes, okay. 1075 00:41:59,617 --> 00:42:01,185 You want him to move back you just tap 1076 00:42:01,185 --> 00:42:03,453 the front of his knees there, 1077 00:42:03,453 --> 00:42:05,890 and when you want him to look around, 1078 00:42:05,890 --> 00:42:08,125 just remember he's not an owl, 1079 00:42:08,125 --> 00:42:12,228 and we're gonna gently turn his head. 1080 00:42:12,228 --> 00:42:13,697 All right, easy enough? 1081 00:42:13,697 --> 00:42:15,698 - I think I got it. - Okay. 1082 00:42:15,698 --> 00:42:17,935 Chris, can you read our scene for us? 1083 00:42:17,935 --> 00:42:20,037 - Probably, all right. 1084 00:42:21,738 --> 00:42:26,077 Helping Hands, Dave, you're a professional golfer, 1085 00:42:26,077 --> 00:42:27,712 and you have put out your back, 1086 00:42:27,712 --> 00:42:32,182 so you must see rogue physiotherapist John 1087 00:42:32,182 --> 00:42:34,252 before your masters game. 1088 00:42:34,252 --> 00:42:36,320 - I'm a rogue physiotherapist. 1089 00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,222 Dave are your hands clean or dry or? 1090 00:42:38,222 --> 00:42:40,057 - Yeah, they're okay. 1091 00:42:40,057 --> 00:42:41,325 (audience laughs) 1092 00:42:41,325 --> 00:42:42,125 I'll be touching you, don't worry about it. 1093 00:42:42,125 --> 00:42:44,262 - Wow, my life is great. 1094 00:42:44,262 --> 00:42:46,330 All right, Elena, you're over here. 1095 00:42:46,330 --> 00:42:48,498 Okay, Dave, you've got the ball. 1096 00:42:48,498 --> 00:42:49,967 - Okay, you ready - Yep. 1097 00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:52,703 - Oh, my back is hurting right there, my back! 1098 00:42:52,703 --> 00:42:54,438 I got to touch it with my hand. 1099 00:42:55,405 --> 00:42:57,642 Oh, yeah, right there! 1100 00:42:57,642 --> 00:42:59,175 I need some help. 1101 00:42:59,175 --> 00:43:01,045 I gotta bang on the door, get the doctor's attention. 1102 00:43:01,045 --> 00:43:02,680 Hey, doc! 1103 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:03,513 (audience laughs) 1104 00:43:03,513 --> 00:43:05,348 I'm here, I need help! 1105 00:43:05,348 --> 00:43:08,285 - It sounds like a master golfer's at my door. 1106 00:43:08,285 --> 00:43:10,820 I'm gonna walk over there and open that door. 1107 00:43:13,057 --> 00:43:14,425 (audience laughs) 1108 00:43:14,425 --> 00:43:16,793 - I'm coming, I'm coming! 1109 00:43:17,628 --> 00:43:18,995 (audience laughs) 1110 00:43:18,995 --> 00:43:20,430 I've got arthritis. 1111 00:43:21,565 --> 00:43:23,733 (audience laughs) 1112 00:43:23,733 --> 00:43:25,668 That was a sudden stop. 1113 00:43:25,668 --> 00:43:26,603 (audience laughs) 1114 00:43:26,603 --> 00:43:28,172 We were not expecting that. 1115 00:43:28,172 --> 00:43:30,007 All right, just let me open the door. 1116 00:43:31,175 --> 00:43:33,677 Oh, it's a tiny door that opens vertically. 1117 00:43:33,677 --> 00:43:34,878 (audience laughs) 1118 00:43:34,878 --> 00:43:36,413 It's like an accordion door, come on in! 1119 00:43:36,413 --> 00:43:37,915 - Hey, doc, let me look at ya! 1120 00:43:41,052 --> 00:43:43,253 (audience laughs) 1121 00:43:43,253 --> 00:43:44,922 It's great to see ya! 1122 00:43:44,922 --> 00:43:49,927 - Are you, you, are you a famous golfer? 1123 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,128 - I am! 1124 00:43:52,128 --> 00:43:53,830 - Oh my goodness. - Do you want my autograph? 1125 00:43:53,830 --> 00:43:55,098 - Yes. 1126 00:43:55,098 --> 00:43:58,735 - Okay, let me write it here, with a pen. 1127 00:43:58,735 --> 00:43:59,837 I have piece of paper. 1128 00:44:01,272 --> 00:44:02,505 - Just write it real quick. 1129 00:44:02,505 --> 00:44:05,275 - Okay, there we go. - And throw it to me. 1130 00:44:05,275 --> 00:44:06,277 - Okay. 1131 00:44:06,277 --> 00:44:07,243 - Throw it. - I will. 1132 00:44:07,243 --> 00:44:08,445 - Okay. - Throw it. 1133 00:44:08,445 --> 00:44:09,747 - There we go. 1134 00:44:09,747 --> 00:44:12,115 (audience laughs) 1135 00:44:12,115 --> 00:44:14,452 Wow, that's wet paper! - It is. 1136 00:44:14,452 --> 00:44:15,685 (audience laughs) 1137 00:44:15,685 --> 00:44:16,787 - I'm just gonna put this in my pocket. 1138 00:44:16,787 --> 00:44:18,322 - Okay. - There we go. 1139 00:44:18,322 --> 00:44:19,857 Okay, why don't you come in and 1140 00:44:19,857 --> 00:44:21,492 tell me what the problem is. - I would love to come in. 1141 00:44:21,492 --> 00:44:23,093 You start and I'll follow you. 1142 00:44:23,093 --> 00:44:23,927 - Okay. 1143 00:44:25,295 --> 00:44:26,263 (audience laughs) 1144 00:44:26,263 --> 00:44:27,097 - Here I come! 1145 00:44:27,097 --> 00:44:29,933 (audience laughs) 1146 00:44:33,070 --> 00:44:34,972 - Just follow me! 1147 00:44:34,972 --> 00:44:37,808 (audience laughs) 1148 00:44:44,548 --> 00:44:46,750 Okay! - I'm here! 1149 00:44:46,750 --> 00:44:49,085 - Now, let me take a look at your swing. 1150 00:44:49,085 --> 00:44:50,120 - Okay. 1151 00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,122 - Back up a bit. - All right, 1152 00:44:52,122 --> 00:44:53,690 - 'Cause I don't wanna be hurt. 1153 00:44:54,792 --> 00:44:56,560 Do you have to pee? - I think so. 1154 00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,497 (audience laughs) 1155 00:45:00,397 --> 00:45:01,898 - Okay, now show me. 1156 00:45:01,898 --> 00:45:03,533 - Show 'em the way you position yourself! 1157 00:45:03,533 --> 00:45:05,002 - That's right, pretend you have a club in your hands. 1158 00:45:05,002 --> 00:45:07,437 - I'm gonna grab my club, I brought it with me. 1159 00:45:07,437 --> 00:45:09,138 I'll bend down and grab it. 1160 00:45:10,340 --> 00:45:11,175 Got it! 1161 00:45:12,275 --> 00:45:13,677 Okay, now watch this, 1162 00:45:13,677 --> 00:45:15,678 I'm gonna grab the club with both hands, 1163 00:45:17,413 --> 00:45:18,648 (audience laughs) 1164 00:45:18,648 --> 00:45:21,585 - I'm gonna pull back, now, just watch my hips. 1165 00:45:21,585 --> 00:45:22,585 (audience laughs) 1166 00:45:22,585 --> 00:45:23,887 Look at my hips. - Yep, looking. 1167 00:45:23,887 --> 00:45:25,122 - See the way they wiggle? - Yep. 1168 00:45:25,122 --> 00:45:27,190 - Look at them, they wiggle, see that. 1169 00:45:28,625 --> 00:45:31,128 All right, it's all about the wiggle in the hips, 1170 00:45:31,128 --> 00:45:32,897 and the follow through, so, wiggle! 1171 00:45:34,097 --> 00:45:34,932 (audience laughs) 1172 00:45:34,932 --> 00:45:35,765 - Follow through! 1173 00:45:37,033 --> 00:45:38,102 - There we go! 1174 00:45:38,102 --> 00:45:39,335 (audience laughs) 1175 00:45:39,335 --> 00:45:41,672 It's like I'm chopping down a tree! 1176 00:45:41,672 --> 00:45:43,740 - All right, I think I see what the problem is. 1177 00:45:43,740 --> 00:45:46,510 Let me tap my forehead and look like an expert 1178 00:45:47,710 --> 00:45:48,612 Oh. 1179 00:45:48,612 --> 00:45:49,980 (audience laughs) 1180 00:45:49,980 --> 00:45:52,850 Yes, I know what the problem is, okay. 1181 00:45:52,850 --> 00:45:53,683 - Okay. 1182 00:45:53,683 --> 00:45:54,985 - You. - Yes? 1183 00:45:54,985 --> 00:45:58,688 - Have terminal carpal tunnel. 1184 00:45:58,688 --> 00:46:00,557 - Oh, that doesn't sound good, doc. 1185 00:46:00,557 --> 00:46:02,125 - It can be fixed. - Okay. 1186 00:46:02,125 --> 00:46:04,628 - That's a different type of terminal. 1187 00:46:04,628 --> 00:46:05,828 - [Dave] All right. 1188 00:46:05,828 --> 00:46:08,098 - All right, so here's what I'm gonna do, 1189 00:46:08,098 --> 00:46:09,332 the first thing I'm gonna do, 1190 00:46:09,332 --> 00:46:12,035 we need to get your back's attention, 1191 00:46:12,035 --> 00:46:16,907 and we do that with something I call, the Spooning Bear Hug. 1192 00:46:16,907 --> 00:46:18,375 - [Dave] Oh! 1193 00:46:18,375 --> 00:46:19,577 (audience laughs) 1194 00:46:19,577 --> 00:46:20,477 Well, let me get in the position here, doc, 1195 00:46:20,477 --> 00:46:21,412 let me straighten out. 1196 00:46:21,412 --> 00:46:22,445 - Yeah, stand up straight. 1197 00:46:24,113 --> 00:46:26,250 Okay, and face side-ways, there you go. 1198 00:46:26,250 --> 00:46:28,552 I'm gonna come around behind you, 1199 00:46:28,552 --> 00:46:29,385 - [Dave] Okay. 1200 00:46:32,255 --> 00:46:35,092 (audience laughs) 1201 00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:37,193 - All right. 1202 00:46:38,095 --> 00:46:40,763 (audience laughs) 1203 00:46:40,763 --> 00:46:43,667 Here I come, sneaking up behind you. 1204 00:46:43,667 --> 00:46:45,102 (audience laughs) 1205 00:46:45,102 --> 00:46:48,505 I'm just gonna put my arms around your chest, there we go. 1206 00:46:49,873 --> 00:46:51,140 - Hey, doc? - Yep! 1207 00:46:51,140 --> 00:46:52,843 - Would you be okay if held you as well? 1208 00:46:52,843 --> 00:46:54,712 I just feel more secure that way. 1209 00:46:54,712 --> 00:46:56,647 - Oh, sure, that's fine. - Okay, here I come. 1210 00:46:56,647 --> 00:47:00,783 - Just turn right around, or do that. 1211 00:47:00,783 --> 00:47:03,620 (audience laughs) 1212 00:47:05,988 --> 00:47:08,858 okay. - I feel spooned! 1213 00:47:08,858 --> 00:47:10,360 (audience laughs) 1214 00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,395 - All right, now, I'm gonna squeeze your chest real hard, 1215 00:47:12,395 --> 00:47:13,863 and bend you backwards. 1216 00:47:13,863 --> 00:47:15,098 - Here we go. 1217 00:47:15,098 --> 00:47:15,998 - And you're gonna feel the crack. 1218 00:47:15,998 --> 00:47:16,533 - Okay. - Here we go. 1219 00:47:17,467 --> 00:47:18,468 (back cracks) - Oh. 1220 00:47:18,468 --> 00:47:19,502 (audience laughs) 1221 00:47:19,502 --> 00:47:20,537 - Wow! - Did you feel that? 1222 00:47:20,537 --> 00:47:22,005 - I felt something. - Yes. 1223 00:47:22,005 --> 00:47:25,275 All right, I'm gonna let go, and I'm gonna back away, 1224 00:47:25,275 --> 00:47:26,610 and I want you to shake it off. 1225 00:47:26,610 --> 00:47:28,012 - Okay. - Here we go. 1226 00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:31,982 (audience laughs) 1227 00:47:31,982 --> 00:47:33,017 - Look at that. 1228 00:47:33,017 --> 00:47:34,483 (audience laughs) 1229 00:47:34,483 --> 00:47:35,918 - You're a little looser! - Wiggle my hips again, hips! 1230 00:47:35,918 --> 00:47:36,853 Oh, yeah. 1231 00:47:38,288 --> 00:47:40,290 - You're a little looser, I have some hope for ya! 1232 00:47:42,492 --> 00:47:44,928 - Are we done? - No, no, no, 1233 00:47:44,928 --> 00:47:46,162 we got it loose for now, 1234 00:47:46,162 --> 00:47:47,430 but you don't want it to happen again. 1235 00:47:47,430 --> 00:47:50,733 - No, I don't. - Okay, here's the number one, 1236 00:47:50,733 --> 00:47:52,970 the number one - Let me look at ya! 1237 00:47:52,970 --> 00:47:54,070 - The number one thing we need you to do. 1238 00:47:54,070 --> 00:47:55,538 - Let me look at ya. 1239 00:47:55,538 --> 00:47:56,407 - Look at me. 1240 00:47:56,407 --> 00:47:57,707 (audience laughs) 1241 00:47:57,707 --> 00:47:59,442 - I'm up here. - Where? 1242 00:47:59,442 --> 00:48:00,610 - I'm up here. 1243 00:48:00,610 --> 00:48:01,812 - Oh, there you are. - There we go! 1244 00:48:01,812 --> 00:48:05,648 - All right, I need you to get on all fours. 1245 00:48:05,648 --> 00:48:06,850 - This sounds dangerous. 1246 00:48:06,850 --> 00:48:09,118 - You know what, it's for your health 1247 00:48:09,118 --> 00:48:10,520 and I'm willing to take that risk. 1248 00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,488 - Okay, I'm going down now. 1249 00:48:12,488 --> 00:48:15,058 - Okay, just down on all fours, 1250 00:48:15,058 --> 00:48:18,362 just hop right down, hoppity-hop, hop. 1251 00:48:18,362 --> 00:48:20,330 (audience laughs) 1252 00:48:20,330 --> 00:48:21,865 There you go. 1253 00:48:21,865 --> 00:48:22,698 (audience laughs) 1254 00:48:22,698 --> 00:48:23,667 That's all threes, okay. 1255 00:48:25,668 --> 00:48:28,505 (audience laughs) 1256 00:48:30,973 --> 00:48:32,308 You looking for a hydrant? 1257 00:48:32,308 --> 00:48:34,543 (audience laughs) 1258 00:48:34,543 --> 00:48:38,448 - I don't know, all this excitement. 1259 00:48:38,448 --> 00:48:41,918 - All right, now your back is loose now, 1260 00:48:41,918 --> 00:48:43,887 but we need to make it stay loose. 1261 00:48:43,887 --> 00:48:45,755 So, I'm gonna come around to your right side. 1262 00:48:45,755 --> 00:48:46,590 - Yeah. 1263 00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:51,962 - I wish my knees worked better than they do, 1264 00:48:51,962 --> 00:48:52,963 I'll tell you that. 1265 00:48:52,963 --> 00:48:53,897 (audience laughs) 1266 00:48:53,897 --> 00:48:56,065 Here we go, all right, now, 1267 00:48:56,065 --> 00:49:01,070 I am just going to throw myself over your back. 1268 00:49:02,405 --> 00:49:04,507 - Hey, doc, I don't think I like that. 1269 00:49:04,507 --> 00:49:05,342 (audience laughs) 1270 00:49:05,342 --> 00:49:06,377 - You know what? 1271 00:49:06,377 --> 00:49:08,912 All treatment is painful. 1272 00:49:10,113 --> 00:49:13,317 No pain, no brain. - And terrifying. 1273 00:49:13,317 --> 00:49:15,418 - Okay, I'm just gonna lower myself. 1274 00:49:17,953 --> 00:49:20,990 (audience laughs) 1275 00:49:20,990 --> 00:49:22,125 - I'm just getting... 1276 00:49:23,593 --> 00:49:27,063 (audience laughs) 1277 00:49:27,063 --> 00:49:29,265 Oh, there we go. 1278 00:49:29,265 --> 00:49:31,902 - You're gonna ride me like a pony? 1279 00:49:31,902 --> 00:49:32,835 (audience laughs) 1280 00:49:32,835 --> 00:49:34,070 - I was not expecting this, 1281 00:49:34,070 --> 00:49:36,607 but I think it's an alternative treatment. 1282 00:49:36,607 --> 00:49:38,042 (audience laughs) 1283 00:49:38,042 --> 00:49:40,677 - Oh, you're heavy! 1284 00:49:40,677 --> 00:49:42,912 (audience laughs) 1285 00:49:42,912 --> 00:49:46,383 - Look at that, I rode you, and now I just climbed off. 1286 00:49:46,383 --> 00:49:47,217 (audience laughs) 1287 00:49:47,217 --> 00:49:48,918 Not even expecting that. 1288 00:49:48,918 --> 00:49:49,953 (audience laughs) 1289 00:49:49,953 --> 00:49:51,522 How's your back feel? - Worse. 1290 00:49:51,522 --> 00:49:52,722 (audience laughs) 1291 00:49:52,722 --> 00:49:54,758 - All right, ne last thing to do 1292 00:49:54,758 --> 00:49:57,093 and we'll submit this treatment in. 1293 00:49:57,093 --> 00:49:59,395 I just need you to lie on your tummy. 1294 00:49:59,395 --> 00:50:01,498 - I don't know, okay. 1295 00:50:02,632 --> 00:50:05,435 - There we go, you're doing good Davey. 1296 00:50:05,435 --> 00:50:08,038 Pretty soon you'll be golfing like an expert. 1297 00:50:09,038 --> 00:50:11,073 - Great, there you go! - Ow, ow. 1298 00:50:11,073 --> 00:50:12,308 (audience laughs) 1299 00:50:12,308 --> 00:50:13,677 - [John] That's called the kitty cat pose. 1300 00:50:13,677 --> 00:50:15,012 (audience laughs) 1301 00:50:15,012 --> 00:50:16,345 - Meow! (groans) 1302 00:50:16,345 --> 00:50:17,813 (audience laughs) 1303 00:50:17,813 --> 00:50:20,583 - That's good, all right, now here's what I'm gonna do, 1304 00:50:20,583 --> 00:50:21,785 this little treatment, 1305 00:50:21,785 --> 00:50:24,387 this is why I'm a rogue physiotherapist. 1306 00:50:24,387 --> 00:50:26,288 - I don't feel comfort with this. 1307 00:50:26,288 --> 00:50:27,790 (audience laughs) 1308 00:50:27,790 --> 00:50:31,995 - Other physiotherapist would never do, the steam roller. 1309 00:50:31,995 --> 00:50:34,765 (audience laughs) 1310 00:50:34,765 --> 00:50:35,698 Are you ready, Dave? 1311 00:50:35,698 --> 00:50:37,133 - I don't think so. 1312 00:50:37,133 --> 00:50:39,135 - You probably wanna straighten your legs out. 1313 00:50:41,838 --> 00:50:42,972 - Okay. 1314 00:50:42,972 --> 00:50:44,440 - There you go. 1315 00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:48,478 All right, real gentle now, I'm just going to cross. 1316 00:50:48,478 --> 00:50:50,480 (Dave whimpers) No need to whimper. 1317 00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:51,782 (audience laughs) 1318 00:50:51,782 --> 00:50:54,785 - Here we go, here we go, I'm just about to. 1319 00:50:56,185 --> 00:50:57,453 - Oh, what are you doing? 1320 00:50:57,453 --> 00:50:59,990 - I'm not sure. (audience laughs) 1321 00:50:59,990 --> 00:51:01,725 - I was looking for your health card. 1322 00:51:01,725 --> 00:51:03,460 (audience laughs) 1323 00:51:03,460 --> 00:51:04,895 - You can get that later, doc! 1324 00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:07,163 - It's not in your-- - I'll give it to you later. 1325 00:51:07,163 --> 00:51:09,498 - All right, I'm just gonna bridge you. 1326 00:51:09,498 --> 00:51:12,202 Right now, I'm just crawl right over you. 1327 00:51:12,202 --> 00:51:14,905 Here we go, here we go. 1328 00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:18,942 Oh yeah, oh, this is good. (Dave groans) 1329 00:51:18,942 --> 00:51:21,177 Oh, yeah. - Oh, doc. 1330 00:51:21,177 --> 00:51:22,878 (audience laughs) 1331 00:51:22,878 --> 00:51:23,813 What are you doing? 1332 00:51:24,882 --> 00:51:26,850 - I'm not sure what I'm doing. 1333 00:51:26,850 --> 00:51:28,252 (audience laughs) 1334 00:51:28,252 --> 00:51:30,720 - I'm pretty sure a steamroller doesn't work like this. 1335 00:51:30,720 --> 00:51:32,188 (audience laughs) 1336 00:51:32,188 --> 00:51:34,490 And I'm pretty sure my legs don't work like that! 1337 00:51:34,490 --> 00:51:37,027 (audience laughs) 1338 00:51:37,027 --> 00:51:40,897 Okay, How are you feeling now? 1339 00:51:40,897 --> 00:51:42,298 - Are we snuggling now, doc? 1340 00:51:43,433 --> 00:51:44,533 (audience laughs) 1341 00:51:44,533 --> 00:51:46,637 Is step two the treatment? 1342 00:51:46,637 --> 00:51:48,405 Spoon then snuggle! 1343 00:51:48,405 --> 00:51:51,140 - I need to reinforce good behavior (laughs). 1344 00:51:52,408 --> 00:51:54,812 All right, I have a feeling you're cured. 1345 00:51:54,812 --> 00:51:56,547 - I think I am! - Okay. 1346 00:51:56,547 --> 00:51:58,113 (audience laughs) 1347 00:51:58,113 --> 00:52:01,217 - Just let me hop right up, I'm just gonna hop right up. 1348 00:52:01,217 --> 00:52:03,653 (Dave groans) 1349 00:52:03,653 --> 00:52:05,188 Here we go. 1350 00:52:05,188 --> 00:52:06,990 Yeah, I don't wanna be around this area too long. 1351 00:52:06,990 --> 00:52:08,392 (audience laughs) 1352 00:52:08,392 --> 00:52:10,427 You're looking good already. 1353 00:52:10,427 --> 00:52:12,562 I can tell you got no more curvature of the spine. 1354 00:52:12,562 --> 00:52:14,363 I'm just gonna stand up here, 1355 00:52:14,363 --> 00:52:16,633 'cause your foot's in a bad spot. 1356 00:52:16,633 --> 00:52:18,668 (audience laughs) 1357 00:52:18,668 --> 00:52:21,037 Like a real bad spot, stop it! 1358 00:52:21,037 --> 00:52:21,972 (audience laughs) 1359 00:52:21,972 --> 00:52:23,440 Stop moving your. 1360 00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:26,275 (audience laughs) 1361 00:52:27,443 --> 00:52:29,947 - Oh, there we go, oh yeah, oh, this is easy. 1362 00:52:31,213 --> 00:52:33,317 Oh, the temptation right now. 1363 00:52:33,317 --> 00:52:35,818 (audience laughs) 1364 00:52:35,818 --> 00:52:38,555 all right, I'll back up, and you just hop up, 1365 00:52:38,555 --> 00:52:39,788 and you show me your swing. 1366 00:52:39,788 --> 00:52:42,025 'Cause I think you've got it back, my friend. 1367 00:52:42,858 --> 00:52:44,593 - Here I come. 1368 00:52:44,593 --> 00:52:45,628 (audience laughs) 1369 00:52:45,628 --> 00:52:47,630 - Come on, just hop right up. 1370 00:52:47,630 --> 00:52:49,065 Just hop up! 1371 00:52:49,065 --> 00:52:49,900 (Dave groans) 1372 00:52:49,900 --> 00:52:50,933 Here we go. 1373 00:52:50,933 --> 00:52:51,768 (Dave groans) 1374 00:52:51,768 --> 00:52:53,603 (audience laughs) 1375 00:52:53,603 --> 00:52:54,637 - Here we go. 1376 00:52:54,637 --> 00:52:56,840 - You're kinda like a robot. 1377 00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:57,773 (audience laughs) 1378 00:52:57,773 --> 00:52:59,542 Like a robot that's constipated. 1379 00:52:59,542 --> 00:53:02,345 (audience laughs) 1380 00:53:05,248 --> 00:53:06,182 So good. 1381 00:53:06,182 --> 00:53:07,617 - I'm just taking my time, doc. 1382 00:53:07,617 --> 00:53:09,785 - The circulation's returning to all your limbs. 1383 00:53:09,785 --> 00:53:11,755 - And I'm taking it all in. - here, let me help you up. 1384 00:53:11,755 --> 00:53:13,790 I'll put my hands on your something 1385 00:53:13,790 --> 00:53:14,958 - I feel sassy. 1386 00:53:14,958 --> 00:53:18,193 - There we go, here we go, and up! 1387 00:53:18,193 --> 00:53:21,665 Up you come, up, up! 1388 00:53:21,665 --> 00:53:22,498 Oh! 1389 00:53:23,467 --> 00:53:26,535 Oh. - Oh, oh. 1390 00:53:26,535 --> 00:53:28,705 - Okay, take a couple steps and shake it out. 1391 00:53:28,705 --> 00:53:29,940 - Okay, take a couple steps. 1392 00:53:29,940 --> 00:53:31,507 - Take a couple steps. - Couple steps. 1393 00:53:31,507 --> 00:53:33,877 - Here we go, taking a couple steps. 1394 00:53:33,877 --> 00:53:35,345 Not me. 1395 00:53:35,345 --> 00:53:37,913 (audience laughs) 1396 00:53:37,913 --> 00:53:39,548 - All right, let me get in position. 1397 00:53:39,548 --> 00:53:42,118 - All right, show me that golf swing. 1398 00:53:42,118 --> 00:53:44,620 - Let me grab my club. - Okay. 1399 00:53:46,388 --> 00:53:47,923 Ta-da! 1400 00:53:47,923 --> 00:53:49,960 - Look at you, swing it! - Both hands! 1401 00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:53,830 It's all in the hips, pull back, wiggle the hips, 1402 00:53:53,830 --> 00:53:54,663 (audience laughs) 1403 00:53:54,663 --> 00:53:55,798 and follow through! 1404 00:53:57,900 --> 00:53:58,735 Follow through! 1405 00:53:59,868 --> 00:54:01,605 - [Audience Member] Follow through! 1406 00:54:01,605 --> 00:54:03,072 - Follow through! 1407 00:54:03,072 --> 00:54:04,740 Yes! - And down you go! 1408 00:54:04,740 --> 00:54:07,677 That's amazing, you're cured! 1409 00:54:07,677 --> 00:54:09,778 - Doc, can I give you a hug? 1410 00:54:09,778 --> 00:54:10,713 - Yes! 1411 00:54:10,713 --> 00:54:12,782 - And to show you how good I am, 1412 00:54:12,782 --> 00:54:15,318 I'm gonna back up and run into your arms. 1413 00:54:15,318 --> 00:54:17,087 - Put the golf club down. - I will 1414 00:54:17,953 --> 00:54:18,788 (audience laughs) 1415 00:54:18,788 --> 00:54:19,957 - Down it goes! 1416 00:54:19,957 --> 00:54:21,190 (audience laughs) 1417 00:54:21,190 --> 00:54:22,125 - Let me just get a running start, 1418 00:54:22,125 --> 00:54:23,360 gonna go over there and run. 1419 00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:24,393 - I'm a scarecrow. 1420 00:54:25,428 --> 00:54:26,328 - Here we go. 1421 00:54:28,298 --> 00:54:30,167 - [John] I'm a scarecrow with scoliosis. 1422 00:54:30,167 --> 00:54:32,602 - Okay, let me turn around. 1423 00:54:33,537 --> 00:54:35,972 - Here you come. - Here I come. 1424 00:54:35,972 --> 00:54:36,807 (audience laughs) 1425 00:54:36,807 --> 00:54:38,375 - [John] Caw, caw! 1426 00:54:38,375 --> 00:54:40,677 (audience laughs) 1427 00:54:40,677 --> 00:54:43,680 No crows are eatin' my corn. - Here I go! 1428 00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:47,250 - Here he comes, here he comes, hands up! 1429 00:54:47,250 --> 00:54:48,518 (Dave grunts) 1430 00:54:48,518 --> 00:54:49,785 (audience laughs) 1431 00:54:49,785 --> 00:54:52,222 - Let me hug you! - Okay. 1432 00:54:52,222 --> 00:54:56,192 - [Dave] Let me wrap my arms, there's one, there's two. 1433 00:54:56,192 --> 00:54:57,960 - You are cured! - Thank you, doc. 1434 00:54:57,960 --> 00:54:59,762 - All right, thank you. 1435 00:54:59,762 --> 00:55:01,430 Thank you ladies, you were awesome! 1436 00:55:01,430 --> 00:55:02,365 (audience cheers and applauds) 1437 00:55:02,365 --> 00:55:03,567 - [Dave] Thanks guys, great job. 1438 00:55:03,567 --> 00:55:07,503 - [Chris] That was very good, thank you. 1439 00:55:07,503 --> 00:55:09,472 That was awesome (laughs). 1440 00:55:09,472 --> 00:55:10,640 - Are you guys having fun? 1441 00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:14,277 (audience cheers) 1442 00:55:14,277 --> 00:55:15,678 That's awesome, okay. 1443 00:55:17,013 --> 00:55:18,080 It is time, 1444 00:55:21,483 --> 00:55:24,520 for Mouse Trap. 1445 00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:26,422 (audience cheers) 1446 00:55:26,422 --> 00:55:28,358 - That's right. - All right, here we go. 1447 00:55:28,358 --> 00:55:29,692 We're parting the curtains. 1448 00:55:31,093 --> 00:55:32,528 - [Audience] Ooh! 1449 00:55:35,665 --> 00:55:37,200 - [Dave] Wow. 1450 00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:39,168 - It doesn't look that bad, right guys? 1451 00:55:39,168 --> 00:55:40,537 [Audience] No! 1452 00:55:40,537 --> 00:55:42,538 - [Chris] It's totally cool. 1453 00:55:42,538 --> 00:55:45,308 - All right, so, Mouse Trap, 1454 00:55:45,308 --> 00:55:50,080 The sketch Mouse Trap, basically, the recap is, 1455 00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:52,415 we are going to listen to Chris' direction. 1456 00:55:52,415 --> 00:55:54,150 We're going to have bare feet, 1457 00:55:54,150 --> 00:55:56,285 and we're gonna be blindfolded 1458 00:55:56,285 --> 00:56:01,123 and Chris is gonna direct us to roll, step, walk, hit 1459 00:56:01,123 --> 00:56:04,293 every mouse trap that is set on the stage, 1460 00:56:04,293 --> 00:56:08,163 which I've been led to believe is over 200. 1461 00:56:08,163 --> 00:56:10,100 - 250, yeah. - There's 250, so. 1462 00:56:10,100 --> 00:56:12,935 (audience cheers) 1463 00:56:14,337 --> 00:56:16,907 All right, so Chris, 1464 00:56:19,042 --> 00:56:21,812 you are going to be the head elf working for Santa. 1465 00:56:21,812 --> 00:56:23,145 - Sure am. 1466 00:56:23,145 --> 00:56:26,315 - And We are? 1467 00:56:26,315 --> 00:56:27,250 - [Audience Member] Slave elves. 1468 00:56:27,250 --> 00:56:29,385 - We are slave elves. thank you! 1469 00:56:29,385 --> 00:56:30,653 (audience laughs) 1470 00:56:30,653 --> 00:56:31,620 - [Chris] Security. 1471 00:56:33,523 --> 00:56:34,657 - All righty. - Are you ready? 1472 00:56:34,657 --> 00:56:36,092 - Wanna move over here? - Yeah. 1473 00:56:37,827 --> 00:56:39,428 Goggles on. - Goggles on. 1474 00:56:42,598 --> 00:56:44,700 - Googly eyes on. - Googly eyes. 1475 00:56:46,035 --> 00:56:49,372 (audience laughs) 1476 00:56:49,372 --> 00:56:51,073 - Did you roll up your sleeves? 1477 00:56:51,073 --> 00:56:52,008 - What? 1478 00:56:52,008 --> 00:56:52,742 - Did you roll up your sleeves? 1479 00:56:52,742 --> 00:56:53,777 - Why? 1480 00:56:53,777 --> 00:56:55,278 - Well, 'cause I wanna match. 1481 00:56:55,278 --> 00:56:56,913 - 'Cause you gotta get it on your forearms 1482 00:56:56,913 --> 00:56:58,147 if you're touching the mouse traps. 1483 00:56:58,147 --> 00:56:59,148 - There we go. 1484 00:56:59,148 --> 00:57:00,350 - Obviously. - More pain. 1485 00:57:00,350 --> 00:57:01,583 - [Chris] That's right, okay, ready? 1486 00:57:01,583 --> 00:57:02,785 - No, I got one more sleeve. 1487 00:57:02,785 --> 00:57:04,120 - [Chris] Okay, well, John, come on! 1488 00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:06,288 - Sorry, it was all sleeve-y 1489 00:57:06,288 --> 00:57:07,623 - [Chris] You're getting the worst of it. 1490 00:57:08,892 --> 00:57:10,527 - All right, Dave, are you there. 1491 00:57:11,795 --> 00:57:12,662 Okay. 1492 00:57:15,832 --> 00:57:17,633 Are you nervous, I'm nervous. 1493 00:57:17,633 --> 00:57:21,003 As a first year elf, I can't believe Santa asked us 1494 00:57:21,003 --> 00:57:23,673 to cover for him in the last house. 1495 00:57:23,673 --> 00:57:25,575 - This is my first day on the job. 1496 00:57:25,575 --> 00:57:29,078 - Oh, man, man, man, we could screw this up in so many ways. 1497 00:57:29,078 --> 00:57:30,513 I wanna make Santa proud of us. 1498 00:57:30,513 --> 00:57:32,015 - I know, so do I, so do I, so do I. 1499 00:57:32,015 --> 00:57:33,850 We can do this though, I'm sure of it. 1500 00:57:33,850 --> 00:57:34,750 - Are you there, Chris? 1501 00:57:34,750 --> 00:57:36,618 - Hey, Davey, Johnny, 1502 00:57:36,618 --> 00:57:39,322 look I don't know how to tell you this, 1503 00:57:39,322 --> 00:57:42,025 Santa doesn't have a lot of faith in you, okay, 1504 00:57:42,025 --> 00:57:43,827 so, I'm here to help you out. 1505 00:57:43,827 --> 00:57:47,163 We can't turn on any lights, and it's pretty dark 1506 00:57:47,163 --> 00:57:49,165 so I got some night cameras set up. 1507 00:57:49,165 --> 00:57:52,002 I'm in the van, the security van parked around the corner. 1508 00:57:52,002 --> 00:57:54,070 I'm just gonna lead you through everything, 1509 00:57:54,070 --> 00:57:56,672 through your little in ear pieces, okay? 1510 00:57:56,672 --> 00:57:58,107 - Yeah. - So, now look, 1511 00:57:59,542 --> 00:58:01,810 where are you guys, are you guys on the roof yet? 1512 00:58:01,810 --> 00:58:03,345 - We're on the roof, We're right by the chimney. 1513 00:58:03,345 --> 00:58:04,613 - Okay, good, good, good. 1514 00:58:04,613 --> 00:58:06,082 Now, listen, this is very important, 1515 00:58:06,082 --> 00:58:08,150 there's some loose shingles so you gotta be careful. 1516 00:58:08,150 --> 00:58:10,487 I want you to slowly take a few steps forward 1517 00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:11,855 towards the chimney. 1518 00:58:11,855 --> 00:58:13,723 (gasping) 1519 00:58:13,723 --> 00:58:14,923 - Okay. 1520 00:58:14,923 --> 00:58:17,693 - [Chris] Perfect, a little more, good, good. 1521 00:58:17,693 --> 00:58:18,895 (yelling) 1522 00:58:18,895 --> 00:58:20,597 - Hey, I think there's squirrels up here! 1523 00:58:20,597 --> 00:58:22,465 - There probably are, now wait, wait. 1524 00:58:22,465 --> 00:58:24,667 Now, what I need you guys to do is, I need you Johnny, 1525 00:58:24,667 --> 00:58:27,137 I need you to take step to your left just a little bit. 1526 00:58:27,137 --> 00:58:28,638 - Left, okay. (mouse trap clicks) 1527 00:58:28,638 --> 00:58:30,273 - Little more, little more, little more, there you go. 1528 00:58:30,273 --> 00:58:31,740 David, I need you to take a step to your right 1529 00:58:31,740 --> 00:58:33,342 a little bit, little bit, there you go, get right in there, 1530 00:58:33,342 --> 00:58:35,578 yeah, yeah, keep going, okay, good, good. 1531 00:58:35,578 --> 00:58:37,180 Now, boys, you're near the chimney. 1532 00:58:37,180 --> 00:58:39,748 I want you to get down and crawl into the chimney. 1533 00:58:39,748 --> 00:58:40,983 - Crawl in the chimney? 1534 00:58:40,983 --> 00:58:42,252 - Yeah, it's not very far forward, 1535 00:58:42,252 --> 00:58:43,418 but just get down and crawl forward 1536 00:58:43,418 --> 00:58:44,920 a little bit into the chimney. 1537 00:58:46,055 --> 00:58:48,223 - Does Santa do this every Christmas? 1538 00:58:48,223 --> 00:58:49,892 (Dave yells) (audience laughs) 1539 00:58:49,892 --> 00:58:52,828 - [Chris] I'm gonna be honest, he hires it out a lot, okay. 1540 00:58:54,163 --> 00:58:57,200 Good, good, good, now, Davey, I need you, okay good. 1541 00:58:58,668 --> 00:59:00,737 Now, Move forward a little bit, get into the chimney. 1542 00:59:01,703 --> 00:59:03,205 Little bit more, little bit more. 1543 00:59:03,205 --> 00:59:04,440 Come on boys, come one, they don't have all night, 1544 00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:06,175 they're gonna wake up, let's go, lets go, okay. 1545 00:59:06,175 --> 00:59:07,010 (John grunts) 1546 00:59:07,010 --> 00:59:08,077 Good, good, good. 1547 00:59:08,077 --> 00:59:11,547 (mouse traps click) 1548 00:59:11,547 --> 00:59:14,483 Okay, Davey, Johnny, listen to me, this is very important. 1549 00:59:14,483 --> 00:59:15,985 You're a little to far to the right, 1550 00:59:15,985 --> 00:59:19,155 I need you to get to the left as you exit the fire place. 1551 00:59:19,155 --> 00:59:20,357 Get to your left as you exit. 1552 00:59:20,357 --> 00:59:23,225 - I'm so glad we're exiting-- (shouting) 1553 00:59:24,793 --> 00:59:26,728 - [Chris] Guys, there's probably LEGO on the floor 1554 00:59:26,728 --> 00:59:28,197 from the kids. - There's lots of LEGO! 1555 00:59:28,197 --> 00:59:30,300 - I know, okay, to the left, keep going, 1556 00:59:30,300 --> 00:59:32,268 crab walk to the left, you guys got this, keep going, 1557 00:59:32,268 --> 00:59:34,470 little more, just to the left, Davey, 1558 00:59:34,470 --> 00:59:36,572 just to the left, just to the left, Davey. 1559 00:59:36,572 --> 00:59:38,040 - Left, okay. - The other left. 1560 00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:39,542 - We can do this, Dave, we can do this! 1561 00:59:39,542 --> 00:59:42,012 - I know, Santa will be so proud of us. 1562 00:59:42,012 --> 00:59:44,613 - He's gonna be so proud. (grunts) 1563 00:59:44,613 --> 00:59:47,583 - My toe, my toe. - Are you guys okay? 1564 00:59:47,583 --> 00:59:48,785 - Just breathe through it, just breathe through it, 1565 00:59:48,785 --> 00:59:50,320 we can do this. 1566 00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:52,088 - [Chris] A little more to the left, keep going, keep going. 1567 00:59:52,088 --> 00:59:54,823 (Dave yells) (mouse traps click) 1568 00:59:54,823 --> 00:59:56,725 Now, this is very important. 1569 00:59:57,827 --> 01:00:00,663 (audience laughs) 1570 01:00:02,532 --> 01:00:03,700 - John, John, you okay? 1571 01:00:05,668 --> 01:00:08,270 - I think it chopped my toe off! 1572 01:00:08,270 --> 01:00:09,505 (audience laughs) 1573 01:00:09,505 --> 01:00:11,040 - John, we're gonna get through this. 1574 01:00:12,208 --> 01:00:14,110 - Guys, I need you to focus, okay? 1575 01:00:14,110 --> 01:00:15,945 Now listen, there is a dog in the house, 1576 01:00:15,945 --> 01:00:17,513 who is a very light sleeper. 1577 01:00:17,513 --> 01:00:19,048 - Okay. 1578 01:00:19,048 --> 01:00:21,017 - Now, I need you to take this very seriously, okay? 1579 01:00:21,017 --> 01:00:22,485 - Okay. - Okay. 1580 01:00:22,485 --> 01:00:24,620 - There is a small chance that dog will see you, 1581 01:00:24,620 --> 01:00:27,223 if you don't crawl below the doggy gate 1582 01:00:27,223 --> 01:00:29,292 so you gotta make sure you get down real low, 1583 01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:33,763 on your stomachs and army crawl, just a couple feet. 1584 01:00:33,763 --> 01:00:36,732 (mouse traps click) (John yells) 1585 01:00:36,732 --> 01:00:38,167 (yelling) (mouse traps click) 1586 01:00:38,167 --> 01:00:40,370 Down, Davey, down, Davey, crawl, yeah, yeah. 1587 01:00:44,307 --> 01:00:46,575 - Ow! 1588 01:00:46,575 --> 01:00:48,812 (shouting) 1589 01:00:51,647 --> 01:00:53,548 - You guys, I think you passed the doggy gate. 1590 01:00:53,548 --> 01:00:56,618 Now look, I need you to make your way to the living room, 1591 01:00:56,618 --> 01:00:57,953 come forward for me. 1592 01:00:57,953 --> 01:00:59,422 - Can you see the whole blueprint of the house? 1593 01:00:59,422 --> 01:01:01,423 - [Chris] I can see everything. 1594 01:01:01,423 --> 01:01:02,625 (Both grunt) 1595 01:01:02,625 --> 01:01:03,492 You're about 30 percent of the way there. 1596 01:01:03,492 --> 01:01:05,060 - No! - 30! 1597 01:01:05,060 --> 01:01:07,863 - You're okay, okay, look, you guys can stand up now. 1598 01:01:09,032 --> 01:01:10,800 Stand up real quick. - I don't think I can! 1599 01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:13,202 - You can do it, Davey, get up real quick, come on. 1600 01:01:13,202 --> 01:01:14,470 (mouse traps click) 1601 01:01:14,470 --> 01:01:15,938 Good boy, Johnny, waiting on Davey. 1602 01:01:15,938 --> 01:01:18,140 Don't move, you guys are a team, you work together, okay. 1603 01:01:18,140 --> 01:01:19,542 - Come on, buddy. - Come on, Davey. 1604 01:01:19,542 --> 01:01:21,943 - [John] What part of your body is this? 1605 01:01:21,943 --> 01:01:24,080 - My back. - Okay, good (laughs) 1606 01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:25,280 (audience laughs) 1607 01:01:25,280 --> 01:01:27,117 - Up you go, up you go, okay, okay. 1608 01:01:27,117 --> 01:01:30,018 Now look, I need you to pay attention, okay, 1609 01:01:30,018 --> 01:01:32,488 I didn't wanna make you guys nervous, 1610 01:01:32,488 --> 01:01:35,090 but this is actually a pretty famous person's house. 1611 01:01:35,090 --> 01:01:36,825 They have some pressure sensors on the floor, 1612 01:01:36,825 --> 01:01:38,360 but they only go off 1613 01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:40,630 if there is a lot of weight in one spot. 1614 01:01:40,630 --> 01:01:42,165 So what you have to do is 1615 01:01:42,165 --> 01:01:44,167 move your feet around real quick all over the place. 1616 01:01:44,167 --> 01:01:45,635 - Twinkle toes. 1617 01:01:45,635 --> 01:01:46,968 - That's right, to the left, to the right, yeah. 1618 01:01:46,968 --> 01:01:50,640 Big circles, step around in circles, big circles. 1619 01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:55,645 You're so close, good, now, come forward, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1620 01:01:55,645 --> 01:01:58,480 Davey to your left, Johnny to your right, good, good, 1621 01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:00,182 to your left, Davey, to your left, to your left. 1622 01:02:00,182 --> 01:02:01,350 (mouse traps click) (shouting) 1623 01:02:01,350 --> 01:02:02,785 Stop, stop! 1624 01:02:02,785 --> 01:02:03,652 (audience laughs) 1625 01:02:03,652 --> 01:02:04,653 (Dave whines) 1626 01:02:04,653 --> 01:02:06,655 (audience laughs) 1627 01:02:06,655 --> 01:02:07,523 - I wanna go home! 1628 01:02:08,590 --> 01:02:10,058 - You're so close. 1629 01:02:10,058 --> 01:02:11,927 Now, there's a tree, Johnny I need you turn around. 1630 01:02:13,128 --> 01:02:14,130 You're facing the wrong way, Johnny. 1631 01:02:14,130 --> 01:02:15,330 - Don't leave me, Johnny. 1632 01:02:15,330 --> 01:02:17,500 There's a tree in front of you, I need you-- 1633 01:02:17,500 --> 01:02:19,735 (groaning) 1634 01:02:21,603 --> 01:02:23,072 - That was a tender spot. 1635 01:02:23,072 --> 01:02:24,907 - [Chris] I'm sure it was, but listen, 1636 01:02:24,907 --> 01:02:27,042 you're right by the tree, get down on your hands and knees. 1637 01:02:27,042 --> 01:02:29,012 - Okay. (yells) 1638 01:02:31,413 --> 01:02:34,383 Hey, hey, I just realized something! 1639 01:02:34,383 --> 01:02:37,018 I'm Jewish, I don't even celebrate Christmas! 1640 01:02:37,018 --> 01:02:39,088 - It's okay, it's for a good cause. 1641 01:02:39,088 --> 01:02:42,125 Get down, now, don't move forward just get down. 1642 01:02:42,125 --> 01:02:44,193 Davey, you need to get down too, big guy. 1643 01:02:45,360 --> 01:02:46,995 - You get off my back. 1644 01:02:46,995 --> 01:02:48,230 (audience laughs) 1645 01:02:48,230 --> 01:02:49,898 - Don't move forward, don't move forward. 1646 01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:53,302 I need you guys to roll to your left. 1647 01:02:53,302 --> 01:02:54,937 Johnny, just roll to your left. 1648 01:02:54,937 --> 01:02:56,672 - Roll? - Roll to your left. 1649 01:02:56,672 --> 01:02:58,540 (mouse traps click) 1650 01:02:58,540 --> 01:02:59,642 That's great (laughs). 1651 01:03:01,310 --> 01:03:04,213 Just to your left, not forward, just to your left. 1652 01:03:04,213 --> 01:03:05,548 (Dave yells) 1653 01:03:05,548 --> 01:03:06,815 (audience laughs) 1654 01:03:06,815 --> 01:03:08,250 Keep going, there's so much more space 1655 01:03:08,250 --> 01:03:10,385 you gotta come into your left. - I can't get him off! 1656 01:03:10,385 --> 01:03:13,622 - Just roll with him, roll him onto the left, it's okay. 1657 01:03:13,622 --> 01:03:17,125 (Dave yells) (mouse traps click) 1658 01:03:17,125 --> 01:03:18,660 (Dave yells) 1659 01:03:18,660 --> 01:03:21,263 - Okay, okay, good, good, good, boys, focus, focus. 1660 01:03:21,263 --> 01:03:22,398 (Dave yells) (mouse traps click) 1661 01:03:22,398 --> 01:03:24,133 - Stop, stop! 1662 01:03:24,133 --> 01:03:26,235 (audience laughs) 1663 01:03:26,235 --> 01:03:28,737 (John grunts) 1664 01:03:30,973 --> 01:03:32,542 I feel like I'm giving birth! 1665 01:03:32,542 --> 01:03:34,743 (audience laughs) 1666 01:03:34,743 --> 01:03:38,413 - Boys, I need you to focus. 1667 01:03:38,413 --> 01:03:41,150 - Okay, okay, we're almost there, Dave, 1668 01:03:41,150 --> 01:03:42,418 Santa Clause, proud of us! 1669 01:03:42,418 --> 01:03:44,153 - [Chris] I need you to crawl over Davey for me, 1670 01:03:44,153 --> 01:03:46,088 and there's a power bar for the tree. 1671 01:03:46,088 --> 01:03:47,623 We need to light up the tree, 1672 01:03:47,623 --> 01:03:49,558 so it has a Christmas vibe when those kids get up. 1673 01:03:49,558 --> 01:03:50,492 - I feel lit up. (mouse traps click) 1674 01:03:50,492 --> 01:03:52,027 - [Chris] It's okay, I know, 1675 01:03:52,027 --> 01:03:53,462 you look like you're in some pain, but I'm proud of you. 1676 01:03:53,462 --> 01:03:56,365 John, you're not even facing the right way, pivot. 1677 01:03:56,365 --> 01:03:59,602 More, more, more, perfect. (Dave yells) 1678 01:03:59,602 --> 01:04:02,638 He found the power bar, it's okay the trees on. 1679 01:04:02,638 --> 01:04:04,307 Now listen, I need you to grab-- 1680 01:04:04,307 --> 01:04:06,208 - [Dave] Stop, stop, no! 1681 01:04:06,208 --> 01:04:09,212 No, no, no, no, ow, ow, ow, ow! 1682 01:04:11,113 --> 01:04:12,648 No! 1683 01:04:12,648 --> 01:04:13,883 - John. - Yeah? 1684 01:04:13,883 --> 01:04:15,918 - I need you to grab the presents 1685 01:04:15,918 --> 01:04:17,987 off Dave's back in the knapsack, okay? 1686 01:04:17,987 --> 01:04:20,288 - Yep. (groans) 1687 01:04:20,288 --> 01:04:22,625 (audience laughs) 1688 01:04:22,625 --> 01:04:24,927 - [Chris] Be quiet or the dogs gonna hear you. 1689 01:04:24,927 --> 01:04:26,828 - Shh, we're almost through. 1690 01:04:26,828 --> 01:04:29,998 I unzipped it, I think it's an Etch A Sketch. 1691 01:04:29,998 --> 01:04:33,302 - [Chris] It probably is, Santa's cheap. 1692 01:04:33,302 --> 01:04:34,837 now, what I need you to do is, 1693 01:04:34,837 --> 01:04:37,407 put it under the tree carefully. 1694 01:04:37,407 --> 01:04:38,673 - Where's the tree? - It's right in front of you. 1695 01:04:38,673 --> 01:04:40,142 I need you to get on your hands and knees, 1696 01:04:40,142 --> 01:04:41,610 and crawl under the tree. 1697 01:04:41,610 --> 01:04:44,113 Don't disturb the lights, it's very well decorated, okay? 1698 01:04:44,113 --> 01:04:46,348 (Dave yells) 1699 01:04:46,348 --> 01:04:47,817 - Hold on, Dave, I got the present. 1700 01:04:47,817 --> 01:04:49,285 - [Chris] Now, wait, this is very important, 1701 01:04:49,285 --> 01:04:50,987 don't move yet, Dave. 1702 01:04:50,987 --> 01:04:53,822 (audience laughs) 1703 01:04:54,723 --> 01:04:56,225 - Chris, you there? 1704 01:04:56,225 --> 01:04:57,527 (audience laughs) 1705 01:04:57,527 --> 01:04:59,628 - It was a bird! 1706 01:04:59,628 --> 01:05:00,863 Now, what I need you to do, Dave, 1707 01:05:00,863 --> 01:05:02,665 is I need you to move to your left. 1708 01:05:02,665 --> 01:05:04,033 This is very important, Dave. 1709 01:05:04,033 --> 01:05:05,500 Before John does anything, 1710 01:05:05,500 --> 01:05:06,668 move to your left you need to get out of the way. 1711 01:05:06,668 --> 01:05:08,170 All the way to the left, as far as you can. 1712 01:05:08,170 --> 01:05:09,938 Not forward, just to your left. 1713 01:05:09,938 --> 01:05:11,340 Just to your left, way over. 1714 01:05:11,340 --> 01:05:13,175 You got like 10 feet to go to your left. 1715 01:05:13,175 --> 01:05:14,677 Not forward, just left. 1716 01:05:14,677 --> 01:05:16,212 You can do it, Dave. 1717 01:05:16,212 --> 01:05:18,513 It's only three o'clock in the morning, we got time. 1718 01:05:18,513 --> 01:05:20,082 That's good, that's good, perfect! 1719 01:05:20,082 --> 01:05:22,318 Now, Johnny, move forward and to your left a little bit. 1720 01:05:22,318 --> 01:05:24,253 - Okay, 'cause I got the Etch A Sketch right here. 1721 01:05:24,253 --> 01:05:25,187 - You have the Etch A Sketch, good. 1722 01:05:25,187 --> 01:05:26,888 Now, Davey, stay out of the way. 1723 01:05:26,888 --> 01:05:27,823 John, I need you to place that 1724 01:05:27,823 --> 01:05:29,292 under the tree very carefully. 1725 01:05:30,627 --> 01:05:31,460 - [Dave] Ow, oh! 1726 01:05:31,460 --> 01:05:32,628 (audience laughs) 1727 01:05:32,628 --> 01:05:33,997 - [John] Look how quiet I'm being though. 1728 01:05:33,997 --> 01:05:36,098 - Now, there's a lot of fake snow 1729 01:05:36,098 --> 01:05:37,667 around the bottom of the tree, 1730 01:05:37,667 --> 01:05:39,902 You guys disturbed it, so I need you to pack it down, John. 1731 01:05:39,902 --> 01:05:42,505 Just slap around as much as you can. 1732 01:05:42,505 --> 01:05:44,540 All over (laughs), to the right, to the left, 1733 01:05:44,540 --> 01:05:46,008 way in front of you, all around. 1734 01:05:46,008 --> 01:05:48,610 There's so much more snow you need to pack down. 1735 01:05:48,610 --> 01:05:50,145 Keep going, keep going, you're so close. 1736 01:05:50,145 --> 01:05:52,782 Oh, Davey, oh, you're right there. 1737 01:05:52,782 --> 01:05:56,085 Oh, oh, Davey, okay, now, guys, 1738 01:05:58,420 --> 01:06:00,555 The snow is beautifully packed. 1739 01:06:00,555 --> 01:06:02,057 The present is under the tree. 1740 01:06:02,057 --> 01:06:04,760 I'm gonna send in two drones 1741 01:06:04,760 --> 01:06:07,397 to teleport you out using Santa's magic. 1742 01:06:07,397 --> 01:06:08,663 And come to think of it, 1743 01:06:08,663 --> 01:06:11,067 we probably coulda use them to teleport you in, 1744 01:06:11,067 --> 01:06:12,067 (audience laughs) 1745 01:06:12,067 --> 01:06:13,335 But that's irrelevant now, 1746 01:06:13,335 --> 01:06:15,137 we're gonna use them to teleport you out, okay? 1747 01:06:15,137 --> 01:06:16,238 - Okay, sure! - Are you ready? 1748 01:06:16,238 --> 01:06:17,773 - Yeah. 1749 01:06:17,773 --> 01:06:19,075 - Okay, ready, boys? - Yeah. 1750 01:06:19,075 --> 01:06:21,477 (mouse traps click) 1751 01:06:21,477 --> 01:06:24,180 Thank you, I am so proud of you for helping Santa. 1752 01:06:24,180 --> 01:06:27,583 (audience cheers and applauds) 1753 01:06:27,583 --> 01:06:30,887 That deserves a lot, that deserves a lot. 1754 01:06:30,887 --> 01:06:34,890 (audience cheers and applauds) 1755 01:06:40,362 --> 01:06:41,597 - That hurt. 1756 01:06:41,597 --> 01:06:43,198 - [Chris] I'm really proud of you guys. 1757 01:06:43,198 --> 01:06:44,300 Yeah, that hurts, eh? 1758 01:06:44,300 --> 01:06:45,667 - Yeah. (laughs) 1759 01:06:45,667 --> 01:06:47,002 - It's tough, but we did it. 1760 01:06:47,002 --> 01:06:48,337 - Yeah, that's right. 1761 01:06:50,005 --> 01:06:51,440 - All right. 1762 01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:52,375 - [Audience Member] You're missing an eyeball! 1763 01:06:52,375 --> 01:06:54,110 Did you guys have fun tonight? 1764 01:06:54,110 --> 01:06:57,413 (audience cheers) 1765 01:06:57,413 --> 01:06:59,715 Did we raise money for a good cause? 1766 01:06:59,715 --> 01:07:02,452 (audience cheers) 1767 01:07:02,452 --> 01:07:06,722 all right, very good, we wanna thank all the volunteers 1768 01:07:06,722 --> 01:07:09,125 who helped us out, we want to thank the Vernon 1769 01:07:09,125 --> 01:07:12,728 and District Performing Arts Center! 1770 01:07:12,728 --> 01:07:17,065 (audience cheers and applauds) 1771 01:07:17,065 --> 01:07:19,935 Thanks, everybody, we love you so much! 1772 01:07:19,935 --> 01:07:21,570 We'll see you at the back. 1773 01:07:21,570 --> 01:07:24,140 (upbeat music) 1774 01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:27,075 - I like the one where the 1775 01:07:27,075 --> 01:07:28,977 two gentlemen and two women went up on stage 1776 01:07:28,977 --> 01:07:30,445 and had to act out, 1777 01:07:30,445 --> 01:07:32,548 and they had to guess what the lines were. 1778 01:07:35,785 --> 01:07:38,187 - Well, you know, the favorite part of the show was 1779 01:07:38,187 --> 01:07:42,057 I guess the whole thing, they held the audience very well. 1780 01:07:43,492 --> 01:07:46,062 (upbeat music) 1781 01:07:54,068 --> 01:07:54,903 - [Interviewer] And would you come back 1782 01:07:54,903 --> 01:07:56,005 to another Fidgets show? 1783 01:07:56,005 --> 01:07:58,173 - Yes - Definitely. 1784 01:07:58,173 --> 01:08:00,777 (upbeat music)