WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:09.008 --> 00:00:10.810 (upbeat music) 4 00:00:10.810 --> 00:00:12.278 - Good evening, everybody, 5 00:00:12.278 --> 00:00:14.747 and thanks for coming to the show. 6 00:00:14.747 --> 00:00:17.617 Let's give a warm, crazy Vernon BC welcome 7 00:00:17.617 --> 00:00:19.352 to our guests of honor, 8 00:00:19.352 --> 00:00:23.523 John Hollingsworth, Chris Reid, and Dave Lane, 9 00:00:23.523 --> 00:00:24.623 here's your Fidgets! 10 00:00:25.558 --> 00:00:29.462 (audience cheers and applauds) 11 00:00:32.632 --> 00:00:34.233 - All right, are you ready to get started? 12 00:00:34.233 --> 00:00:35.735 (audience cheers and applauds) 13 00:00:35.735 --> 00:00:37.503 All right, are we gonna have a good show tonight? 14 00:00:37.503 --> 00:00:39.005 (audience cheers) 15 00:00:39.005 --> 00:00:41.340 Oh, yeah, we are, okay, Change is a sketch we do, 16 00:00:41.340 --> 00:00:43.477 where Chris and I complete a scene, 17 00:00:43.477 --> 00:00:47.280 but everything we say Dave has the power to say, change, 18 00:00:47.280 --> 00:00:48.848 and when he says that, we have to change 19 00:00:48.848 --> 00:00:50.883 the last thing that we said, okay. 20 00:00:50.883 --> 00:00:54.853 So, the scene is, Doctor Chris 21 00:00:54.853 --> 00:00:59.692 needs to have a sit down talk with John to talk to him about 22 00:00:59.692 --> 00:01:02.195 how the operation didn't go as planned. 23 00:01:03.497 --> 00:01:04.763 - I'm the doctor? 24 00:01:04.763 --> 00:01:06.465 - You're the doctor. - Okay. 25 00:01:06.465 --> 00:01:08.835 - And I'm-- - What was your operation? 26 00:01:08.835 --> 00:01:10.337 - [Dave] Do you wanna get minor operation day surgery? 27 00:01:10.337 --> 00:01:13.973 - Yeah, give me a minor, like day surgery-- 28 00:01:13.973 --> 00:01:17.243 (audience shouting) 29 00:01:17.243 --> 00:01:18.845 Bunion infection? 30 00:01:18.845 --> 00:01:20.247 (audience shouting) 31 00:01:20.247 --> 00:01:22.482 - Hair transplant! - Hair transplant, really? 32 00:01:24.183 --> 00:01:25.585 - Bunion infection. 33 00:01:25.585 --> 00:01:27.153 - Oh, okay, on your toesies 34 00:01:27.153 --> 00:01:28.420 - Yeah. - Sure, why not? 35 00:01:29.588 --> 00:01:31.357 Okay, I'll be the doctor and you do the, okay. 36 00:01:31.357 --> 00:01:33.627 - I'll have the bunion infection. 37 00:01:33.627 --> 00:01:34.993 - Apparently. 38 00:01:34.993 --> 00:01:36.495 - It sounds disgusting though. 39 00:01:39.632 --> 00:01:40.833 Are you ready? - Yeah. 40 00:01:40.833 --> 00:01:41.667 - All right. 41 00:01:43.202 --> 00:01:45.138 Nurse I really need to see the doctor. 42 00:01:45.138 --> 00:01:48.140 No, I really need to see the doctor! 43 00:01:48.140 --> 00:01:51.043 Yeah, John Hollingsworth, tell him John Hollingsworth, 44 00:01:51.043 --> 00:01:52.445 Doctor, hey! 45 00:01:53.947 --> 00:01:54.913 What are you doing? 46 00:01:54.913 --> 00:01:57.183 - I am smoking in my office. 47 00:01:57.183 --> 00:01:58.183 - Change. 48 00:01:58.183 --> 00:01:59.685 - I am having a cigarette. 49 00:01:59.685 --> 00:02:00.720 - Change. 50 00:02:00.720 --> 00:02:02.888 - Don't you know what I am doing? 51 00:02:02.888 --> 00:02:05.658 Do you want to try, the cool kids do it? 52 00:02:05.658 --> 00:02:08.460 - I don't think so, I don't think smoking is good for you. 53 00:02:08.460 --> 00:02:10.730 But here's the thing, I need to talk to you 54 00:02:10.730 --> 00:02:12.632 for a couple minutes about my operation. 55 00:02:12.632 --> 00:02:14.233 (speaking in foreign language) 56 00:02:14.233 --> 00:02:15.067 (audience laughs) 57 00:02:15.067 --> 00:02:16.535 - 'Cause I am French. 58 00:02:16.535 --> 00:02:17.703 - Yeah, I got that. 59 00:02:17.703 --> 00:02:19.438 Doc, last week I was in here 60 00:02:19.438 --> 00:02:23.108 to get my infected bunion repaired. 61 00:02:23.108 --> 00:02:24.610 (speaking in foreign language) 62 00:02:24.610 --> 00:02:26.745 Okay, remember, you looked at in the x-ray, and you said, 63 00:02:26.745 --> 00:02:28.982 that infected bunion needs to be repaired. 64 00:02:28.982 --> 00:02:30.250 - Change. 65 00:02:30.250 --> 00:02:32.318 - You said that infected bunion makes me hungry. 66 00:02:32.318 --> 00:02:33.787 - Change. 67 00:02:33.787 --> 00:02:35.855 - You said that infected bunion looks like my mother. 68 00:02:35.855 --> 00:02:38.290 (audience laughs) 69 00:02:38.290 --> 00:02:41.693 - So, we jumped into, we got a surgery date right away, 70 00:02:41.693 --> 00:02:43.530 because you were afraid for my life, 71 00:02:43.530 --> 00:02:48.535 and you put me out, and my bunion is still infected. 72 00:02:50.168 --> 00:02:51.403 (exhales) 73 00:02:51.403 --> 00:02:53.038 - So, you have a problem 74 00:02:53.038 --> 00:02:55.475 with your bunion still being infected? 75 00:02:55.475 --> 00:02:56.775 - Yes. 76 00:02:56.775 --> 00:02:58.978 - Okay, I want to ask you something. 77 00:02:58.978 --> 00:03:00.847 How does your back feel? - Change. 78 00:03:00.847 --> 00:03:02.948 - How does your butt feel? - Change. 79 00:03:02.948 --> 00:03:05.083 - Can you see better? - Change. 80 00:03:05.083 --> 00:03:07.220 - How do you smell? - Change. 81 00:03:07.220 --> 00:03:09.455 - You know, if you had more hair on your back, 82 00:03:09.455 --> 00:03:11.257 you'd probably be better looking. 83 00:03:11.257 --> 00:03:12.458 (audience laughs) 84 00:03:12.458 --> 00:03:14.693 But don't worry, I had already fixed it. 85 00:03:14.693 --> 00:03:16.930 You probably just haven't seen your back yet. 86 00:03:16.930 --> 00:03:18.397 (audience laughs) 87 00:03:18.397 --> 00:03:20.600 - Are you telling me I went into the hospital, into surgery, 88 00:03:20.600 --> 00:03:22.935 to get my infected bunion repaired, 89 00:03:22.935 --> 00:03:24.403 (speaking in foreign language) 90 00:03:24.403 --> 00:03:25.672 - 'Cause I'm French. 91 00:03:25.672 --> 00:03:29.175 - And you did some sort of back hair transplant? 92 00:03:29.175 --> 00:03:30.610 - Change. 93 00:03:30.610 --> 00:03:34.247 - You did some sort of monkey to man hair transplant? 94 00:03:34.247 --> 00:03:35.748 - Change. 95 00:03:35.748 --> 00:03:39.152 - I now have the sheen of an Irish Setter on my back! 96 00:03:39.152 --> 00:03:40.018 (audience laughs) 97 00:03:40.018 --> 00:03:41.487 - You're correct. 98 00:03:41.487 --> 00:03:44.290 Do you not remember when you came to my office and you said, 99 00:03:44.290 --> 00:03:48.828 "Hey, look at my bunion and I had a full set of hair." 100 00:03:48.828 --> 00:03:50.062 - Change. 101 00:03:50.062 --> 00:03:52.032 - Do you not remember my locks on my head? 102 00:03:52.032 --> 00:03:53.565 - [Dave] Change. 103 00:03:53.565 --> 00:03:55.468 - Do you know how I look like Elvis, and I was like? (blows) 104 00:03:55.468 --> 00:03:56.302 (audience laughs) 105 00:03:56.302 --> 00:03:58.037 Do you remember that? 106 00:03:58.037 --> 00:03:58.972 - I do remember you did-- 107 00:03:58.972 --> 00:04:00.307 - Does this seem familiar? 108 00:04:00.307 --> 00:04:01.573 (audience laughs) 109 00:04:01.573 --> 00:04:03.442 - Yes, that seems very familiar. 110 00:04:03.442 --> 00:04:06.645 You seemed like you had way more hair on top of your head, 111 00:04:06.645 --> 00:04:08.547 but I was out of it. 112 00:04:08.547 --> 00:04:11.417 - I know, but now I have given you a favor, my friend. 113 00:04:11.417 --> 00:04:13.385 I have put my hair on your back. 114 00:04:13.385 --> 00:04:14.920 - Change. 115 00:04:14.920 --> 00:04:16.688 - I have put all the things on my head under your back. 116 00:04:16.688 --> 00:04:18.223 - Change. 117 00:04:18.223 --> 00:04:19.625 - I took the things from your back and put them on my head. 118 00:04:19.625 --> 00:04:20.860 - Change. (audience laughs) 119 00:04:20.860 --> 00:04:22.162 - I have swapped the skin on your back 120 00:04:22.162 --> 00:04:23.295 with the skin on my head 121 00:04:23.295 --> 00:04:24.530 - Change. 122 00:04:24.530 --> 00:04:25.465 - And I swapped the skin on your knee 123 00:04:25.465 --> 00:04:26.265 with the skin on my knee. 124 00:04:26.265 --> 00:04:27.467 - Change. 125 00:04:27.467 --> 00:04:28.668 - Your elbows are now behind your neck. 126 00:04:28.668 --> 00:04:30.437 The hair on my head is on your back, 127 00:04:30.437 --> 00:04:35.308 and you have the ankles of four horses tilted backwards, 128 00:04:35.308 --> 00:04:37.910 so when you run, they looks like this. 129 00:04:37.910 --> 00:04:38.745 (audience laughs) 130 00:04:38.745 --> 00:04:39.978 - Change. 131 00:04:39.978 --> 00:04:41.813 - When you run, it looks like this. 132 00:04:41.813 --> 00:04:43.315 - Change. 133 00:04:43.315 --> 00:04:47.353 - When you run, you just fall down and you flap like this, 134 00:04:47.353 --> 00:04:48.955 and then people go, "Are you okay?", 135 00:04:48.955 --> 00:04:52.925 and through that sympathy, you are going to be promoted. 136 00:04:52.925 --> 00:04:55.293 (audience laughs) 137 00:04:55.293 --> 00:04:57.463 Oh, and you have a hairy back from my head. 138 00:04:59.498 --> 00:05:01.433 - You did all that in 15 minutes? 139 00:05:01.433 --> 00:05:02.635 - Change. 140 00:05:02.635 --> 00:05:04.570 - You did all that in 45 minutes? 141 00:05:04.570 --> 00:05:06.538 - Change. - Eight days ago I was fine! 142 00:05:07.640 --> 00:05:09.108 - Yes, but now you are fine 143 00:05:09.108 --> 00:05:11.710 and when you take off your shirt you look like a werewolf 144 00:05:11.710 --> 00:05:13.880 who can't seem to stand up without siezuring. 145 00:05:13.880 --> 00:05:15.280 - [Dave] Change. 146 00:05:15.280 --> 00:05:16.915 - Yes, but now the animal protective control 147 00:05:16.915 --> 00:05:19.752 is going to take care of you if you ever get in a bar fight. 148 00:05:19.752 --> 00:05:21.020 (audience laughs) - Change. 149 00:05:21.020 --> 00:05:22.255 - There is going to be protective people 150 00:05:22.255 --> 00:05:23.790 who will look out for you, 151 00:05:23.790 --> 00:05:25.625 and there will also those who are going to hunt you. 152 00:05:25.625 --> 00:05:27.393 It is a fun game I made up, 153 00:05:27.393 --> 00:05:30.195 and you have to find out how you're going to survive. 154 00:05:30.195 --> 00:05:31.597 (audience laughs) 155 00:05:31.597 --> 00:05:34.400 - Doc, I heard you were the best! 156 00:05:34.400 --> 00:05:35.668 - Change. 157 00:05:35.668 --> 00:05:36.868 - I heard you were great! - Change. 158 00:05:36.868 --> 00:05:39.138 - [John] I heard you were absolutely amazing. 159 00:05:39.138 --> 00:05:40.373 - [Dave] Change. 160 00:05:40.373 --> 00:05:42.007 - I heard you were a ventriloquist. 161 00:05:42.007 --> 00:05:42.842 (speaking in foreign language) 162 00:05:42.842 --> 00:05:43.675 (audience laughs) 163 00:05:43.675 --> 00:05:44.643 - 'Cause he is French. 164 00:05:46.045 --> 00:05:48.782 - And I thought if he's talented with ventriloquism 165 00:05:48.782 --> 00:05:50.517 maybe he's good at surgery. 166 00:05:50.517 --> 00:05:53.118 In fact, it turns out that wasn't true. 167 00:05:53.118 --> 00:05:56.022 I shouldn't of trusted you with my body. 168 00:05:56.022 --> 00:05:57.223 - Change. 169 00:05:57.223 --> 00:06:00.092 - I shouldn't of trusted you with how I look. 170 00:06:00.092 --> 00:06:01.327 - Change. 171 00:06:01.327 --> 00:06:02.428 I should not have trusted you at all. 172 00:06:02.428 --> 00:06:03.963 (audience laughs) 173 00:06:03.963 --> 00:06:05.798 - I'm going to stop you right there. 174 00:06:05.798 --> 00:06:07.867 You came in for the bunion on your foot? 175 00:06:07.867 --> 00:06:09.068 - Yes, I did. 176 00:06:09.068 --> 00:06:10.102 - I made your life so much better 177 00:06:10.102 --> 00:06:11.937 and more interesting, thank you! 178 00:06:11.937 --> 00:06:13.172 - Yes, you did. 179 00:06:13.172 --> 00:06:15.140 - National Geographic has already called. 180 00:06:15.140 --> 00:06:16.842 And not only that, 181 00:06:18.310 --> 00:06:21.947 but in my office, you are now the most famous person 182 00:06:21.947 --> 00:06:23.448 I have ever had. 183 00:06:23.448 --> 00:06:26.085 Not because you were famous, but because I made you famous. 184 00:06:26.085 --> 00:06:27.320 - Change. 185 00:06:27.320 --> 00:06:28.553 - Not because you were famous, 186 00:06:28.553 --> 00:06:30.322 but because I'm going to make you famous. 187 00:06:30.322 --> 00:06:31.857 - Change. 188 00:06:31.857 --> 00:06:33.760 - Not because you're going to be famous, or you were famous, 189 00:06:33.760 --> 00:06:35.728 but because I put your face into a frame, 190 00:06:35.728 --> 00:06:36.795 and I said, "Frame this", 191 00:06:36.795 --> 00:06:38.263 and my accent came out funny 192 00:06:38.263 --> 00:06:41.100 and now people think your some sort of celebrity, famous! 193 00:06:43.135 --> 00:06:45.972 (audience laughs) 194 00:06:48.808 --> 00:06:51.443 I say, nurse can you frame this? 195 00:06:51.443 --> 00:06:53.378 She goes, "Oh, he's famous?", 196 00:06:53.378 --> 00:06:55.715 I go, (speaking in foreign language), 'cause I am French, 197 00:06:55.715 --> 00:06:57.082 and now you think, 198 00:06:58.517 --> 00:07:01.220 you're not famous though, but you could be famous. 199 00:07:02.755 --> 00:07:06.425 I did not go to online college for this sort of thing, okay? 200 00:07:06.425 --> 00:07:07.693 (audience laughs) 201 00:07:07.693 --> 00:07:10.830 - Doc, you know what, I got to apologize, okay. 202 00:07:10.830 --> 00:07:12.665 I came in here all stressed out, 203 00:07:12.665 --> 00:07:14.500 and you're absolutely right. 204 00:07:15.935 --> 00:07:17.937 I was getting a lot of phone calls 205 00:07:17.937 --> 00:07:21.840 from people either wanting to protect me or to hunt me, 206 00:07:21.840 --> 00:07:24.243 and I thought, this is useless, 207 00:07:24.243 --> 00:07:27.247 but now I see I'm a unique commodity. 208 00:07:27.247 --> 00:07:28.247 - Change. 209 00:07:28.247 --> 00:07:29.848 - I see that I'm a one of a kind. 210 00:07:29.848 --> 00:07:31.917 - Change. - I'm special. 211 00:07:31.917 --> 00:07:33.118 (audience laughs) 212 00:07:33.118 --> 00:07:34.887 - Yes, you are, and that was my hope for you. 213 00:07:34.887 --> 00:07:38.257 So, I'm going to do you a favor. 214 00:07:38.257 --> 00:07:40.225 I put your name in the paper, 215 00:07:40.225 --> 00:07:42.295 and I'm not even going to charge you extra. 216 00:07:42.295 --> 00:07:43.495 - Which paper? 217 00:07:43.495 --> 00:07:44.897 - It was the local Citizen paper. 218 00:07:44.897 --> 00:07:46.132 - Change. 219 00:07:46.132 --> 00:07:48.100 - I did it online on a blog. - Change. 220 00:07:48.100 --> 00:07:49.268 - So, I was at the coffee shop, 221 00:07:49.268 --> 00:07:50.235 and I had a napkin with a pen-- 222 00:07:50.235 --> 00:07:51.470 - Change. 223 00:07:51.470 --> 00:07:52.605 - I was at home and I was sitting down 224 00:07:52.605 --> 00:07:53.438 on the bathroom - Change. 225 00:07:53.438 --> 00:07:54.707 - And I had a magazine. 226 00:07:54.707 --> 00:07:56.542 There was a mail order coupon for a return-- 227 00:07:56.542 --> 00:07:57.777 - Change. 228 00:07:57.777 --> 00:07:59.245 - When I get tires, there's a rebate, 229 00:07:59.245 --> 00:08:01.647 and you put the thing in with the rebate into the mail, 230 00:08:01.647 --> 00:08:04.550 I also wrote those people a nice little note about you, 231 00:08:04.550 --> 00:08:07.587 and I have a feeling it will show up in their newsletter. 232 00:08:07.587 --> 00:08:08.520 - Awesome! 233 00:08:08.520 --> 00:08:09.788 Well, doc, what can I say, 234 00:08:09.788 --> 00:08:11.857 but thank you very much, you're a genius. 235 00:08:11.857 --> 00:08:13.558 - Thank you, thank you. 236 00:08:13.558 --> 00:08:16.562 (audience applauds) 237 00:08:17.497 --> 00:08:19.432 - Woo! - 'Cause I am French. 238 00:08:19.432 --> 00:08:20.900 (audience laughs) 239 00:08:20.900 --> 00:08:24.670 - All right, how many people have the game Speak Out? 240 00:08:25.838 --> 00:08:28.440 All right, so, cool game, lots of slobber. 241 00:08:28.440 --> 00:08:32.010 What we did is we made that into an improv game, 242 00:08:32.010 --> 00:08:33.512 and we're gonna do that today. 243 00:08:34.980 --> 00:08:38.250 It's called Read My Lips, Read My Lips broken down, 244 00:08:38.250 --> 00:08:39.652 is a sketch where 245 00:08:42.087 --> 00:08:46.625 I have hired Dave, the coolest guy in school, 246 00:08:46.625 --> 00:08:51.630 to coach me through my blind date with the lovely Christine. 247 00:08:52.365 --> 00:08:53.900 (audience laughs) 248 00:08:53.900 --> 00:08:56.702 who has some whiskers, but that's fine, that's fine. 249 00:08:56.702 --> 00:08:58.370 She's got a great personality. 250 00:08:58.370 --> 00:09:01.473 (audience laughs) 251 00:09:01.473 --> 00:09:02.975 - So what we're gonna do, 252 00:09:02.975 --> 00:09:06.345 is Dave is going to get some suggestions from the audience. 253 00:09:06.345 --> 00:09:11.050 By the way, you guys have been giving us A plus ideas. 254 00:09:11.050 --> 00:09:13.052 That's been amazing, thank you so much. 255 00:09:14.487 --> 00:09:16.622 Oh yeah, give yourselves a hand. 256 00:09:16.622 --> 00:09:19.592 (audience cheers and applauds) 257 00:09:19.592 --> 00:09:21.260 All right, so Chris and I are gonna leave the room. 258 00:09:21.260 --> 00:09:23.195 - You guys can leave and I'll get some suggestions. 259 00:09:23.195 --> 00:09:25.698 - And you're gonna get some suggestions, 260 00:09:25.698 --> 00:09:27.733 and, you've got everything you need? 261 00:09:28.833 --> 00:09:30.703 - Okay, you go man. - Okay. 262 00:09:30.703 --> 00:09:32.805 - All right as they're leaving - We're gonna go out 263 00:09:32.805 --> 00:09:35.140 stairway, out door number 10. 264 00:09:36.308 --> 00:09:37.910 - So, my job is gonna be this, 265 00:09:37.910 --> 00:09:41.247 is to give John some advice on impressing this girl. 266 00:09:41.247 --> 00:09:42.515 Now, when you wanna impress a girl, 267 00:09:42.515 --> 00:09:44.383 there's a few things you have to address. 268 00:09:44.383 --> 00:09:45.752 The first thing is this, 269 00:09:45.752 --> 00:09:48.053 is you have to address her beauty. 270 00:09:48.053 --> 00:09:49.922 All right, so what I need from you is this, 271 00:09:49.922 --> 00:09:53.292 is give me a very unique eye color. 272 00:09:54.427 --> 00:09:55.995 (audience shouting) 273 00:09:55.995 --> 00:09:56.862 Turquoise. 274 00:10:00.465 --> 00:10:04.970 - Okay, so we're gonna go turquoise, turquoise, all right. 275 00:10:04.970 --> 00:10:08.540 So we're gonna say her eyes are as turquoise as, 276 00:10:08.540 --> 00:10:10.977 give me a sea creature. 277 00:10:10.977 --> 00:10:11.810 (audience shouting) 278 00:10:11.810 --> 00:10:12.645 Turtle. 279 00:10:13.878 --> 00:10:16.248 Okay, now, so we got a turtle, 280 00:10:16.248 --> 00:10:18.750 so we got turquoise, we got turtle. 281 00:10:18.750 --> 00:10:22.253 Give me a word that would describe a turtle. 282 00:10:22.253 --> 00:10:25.257 - [Audience Member] Supercalifragilistic expeallidocious! 283 00:10:25.257 --> 00:10:26.758 (audience shouting) 284 00:10:26.758 --> 00:10:28.693 - What's that? - Slow. 285 00:10:28.693 --> 00:10:31.730 - Slow, anything more creative than slow? 286 00:10:31.730 --> 00:10:33.665 (audience shouting) 287 00:10:33.665 --> 00:10:35.868 Slimy, we'll go slimy. 288 00:10:37.235 --> 00:10:39.705 All right, we'll do slimy, so we're gonna say, 289 00:10:39.705 --> 00:10:44.677 "Your eyes are as turquoise as a slimy turtle". 290 00:10:44.677 --> 00:10:47.112 Now, once you've addressed her beauty, 291 00:10:47.112 --> 00:10:49.948 what you wanna address next is this, is her intelligence. 292 00:10:49.948 --> 00:10:51.583 And so what I need from you is this, 293 00:10:51.583 --> 00:10:55.587 I need an expensive tool, an expensive tool. 294 00:10:55.587 --> 00:10:56.755 (audience shouting) 295 00:10:56.755 --> 00:11:00.558 Chainsaw, okay. 296 00:11:00.558 --> 00:11:03.395 Now, describe for me what a chainsaw would be like, 297 00:11:03.395 --> 00:11:05.430 creatively, what would it be like? 298 00:11:05.430 --> 00:11:07.165 (audience shouting) 299 00:11:07.165 --> 00:11:07.967 What's that? 300 00:11:09.035 --> 00:11:09.868 What'd you yell? 301 00:11:10.803 --> 00:11:13.538 Sharp, a sharp chainsaw okay. 302 00:11:13.538 --> 00:11:14.973 All right, we're gonna say, 303 00:11:14.973 --> 00:11:18.843 you're as smart as a sharp chainsaw, all right. 304 00:11:18.843 --> 00:11:21.280 Now, once you've addressed her beauty, 305 00:11:21.280 --> 00:11:23.215 and you have addressed her intelligence, 306 00:11:23.215 --> 00:11:24.817 now what needs to happen is this, 307 00:11:24.817 --> 00:11:27.285 is you need to go all out, 308 00:11:27.285 --> 00:11:29.955 and you need to express your love. 309 00:11:29.955 --> 00:11:31.790 So What I need from you is this, 310 00:11:31.790 --> 00:11:36.162 is give me your favorite guilty pleasure snack. 311 00:11:36.162 --> 00:11:39.365 I mean the stuff you eat that you shouldn't eat. 312 00:11:39.365 --> 00:11:41.233 (audience shouting) 313 00:11:41.233 --> 00:11:44.337 Nutella, all right. 314 00:11:47.172 --> 00:11:50.977 Nutella, now describe for me what Nutella's like. 315 00:11:52.177 --> 00:11:55.080 (audience shouting) 316 00:11:55.080 --> 00:11:59.952 Okay, we're gonna say gooey, gooey, okay. 317 00:11:59.952 --> 00:12:01.853 And so what we're gonna say at the end is this, 318 00:12:01.853 --> 00:12:06.658 we're gonna say, I love you more than gooey Nutella. 319 00:12:06.658 --> 00:12:11.363 So we'll say, her eyes are as turquoise as a slimy turtle, 320 00:12:11.363 --> 00:12:14.100 she is as smart as a sharp chainsaw, 321 00:12:14.100 --> 00:12:18.903 and then that we love you more than gooey Nutella 322 00:12:18.903 --> 00:12:20.405 All right, you wanna bring them in? 323 00:12:22.542 --> 00:12:27.547 - I have been waiting for years (hums), so happy about this. 324 00:12:29.948 --> 00:12:32.785 Hey, buddy. - Hey, how you doing? 325 00:12:32.785 --> 00:12:34.953 - What is, what, no no no! 326 00:12:34.953 --> 00:12:36.888 - I got dental surgery. 327 00:12:39.825 --> 00:12:41.393 You had dental work done? 328 00:12:41.393 --> 00:12:45.230 - Yeah, but it's okay. - No, it's not okay! 329 00:12:45.230 --> 00:12:47.500 Christine is coming in like two minutes! 330 00:12:47.500 --> 00:12:48.767 - Yeah! 331 00:12:48.767 --> 00:12:50.502 (audience laughs) 332 00:12:50.502 --> 00:12:51.803 - How are you even gonna help me? 333 00:12:51.803 --> 00:12:56.775 How are you gonna coach me? (Dave mumbles) 334 00:12:57.275 --> 00:12:58.077 Yes. 335 00:12:58.077 --> 00:13:01.080 (Dave mumbles) 336 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:03.948 (audience laughs) 337 00:13:03.948 --> 00:13:05.217 Yeah, yeah yeah. 338 00:13:05.217 --> 00:13:06.685 - Okay, ready? 339 00:13:06.685 --> 00:13:08.020 - Yeah, but I can't understand anything you're saying. 340 00:13:08.020 --> 00:13:09.955 - That's okay! - That's not. 341 00:13:09.955 --> 00:13:11.690 I need Christine to fall in love with me. 342 00:13:11.690 --> 00:13:13.092 (Dave mumbles) 343 00:13:13.092 --> 00:13:14.893 She's got 14 guys after her. 344 00:13:14.893 --> 00:13:17.462 (Dave mumbles) 345 00:13:18.863 --> 00:13:20.132 Oh, man. - Look at you! 346 00:13:20.132 --> 00:13:23.102 - Oh, she's here, she's here! (Dave mumbles) 347 00:13:23.102 --> 00:13:26.238 Hey, hey, Christine, how are you doing? 348 00:13:26.238 --> 00:13:27.707 - Super good. 349 00:13:27.707 --> 00:13:28.540 (audience laughs) 350 00:13:28.540 --> 00:13:30.108 - Wow. 351 00:13:30.108 --> 00:13:32.110 Hey, I got a seat for us. 352 00:13:32.110 --> 00:13:33.945 - You're so sweet. 353 00:13:33.945 --> 00:13:35.813 - Let me just pull it right up here. 354 00:13:35.813 --> 00:13:37.282 - Thank you. 355 00:13:37.282 --> 00:13:41.687 - Yeah, I'm so excited that you said you wanted to-- 356 00:13:42.788 --> 00:13:44.155 (audience laughs) 357 00:13:44.155 --> 00:13:46.158 - Thank you. 358 00:13:46.158 --> 00:13:47.425 - You're a wobbly one aren't ya? 359 00:13:47.425 --> 00:13:48.660 - It's the chair. 360 00:13:48.660 --> 00:13:51.230 - It's the chair, for sure it is. 361 00:13:51.230 --> 00:13:52.732 Look at you spin. 362 00:13:52.732 --> 00:13:57.102 Hey, I just wanted to say I'm really glad you said 363 00:13:58.670 --> 00:14:01.607 you'd come out, meet me at the old coffee shop. 364 00:14:01.607 --> 00:14:06.612 I know, I know like, 14, 15 times I would say to you, 365 00:14:08.113 --> 00:14:10.215 do you wanna go out with me, do you wanna go out with me? 366 00:14:10.215 --> 00:14:13.618 and you always said no, and then this time you said yes! 367 00:14:13.618 --> 00:14:15.053 - I don't know why (laughs). 368 00:14:15.053 --> 00:14:16.588 (audience laughs) 369 00:14:16.588 --> 00:14:17.388 - You know what, let's just have fun, let's just relax. 370 00:14:17.388 --> 00:14:19.258 - Yeah, let's have fun. 371 00:14:19.258 --> 00:14:21.160 - Because we could just be friends, and build from there. 372 00:14:21.160 --> 00:14:23.128 - Yes, we can just be friends! 373 00:14:23.128 --> 00:14:24.930 - Testing, testing, testing! 374 00:14:27.633 --> 00:14:30.435 - Yeah, so anyways, there's a couple things 375 00:14:30.435 --> 00:14:33.172 I just wanna say, just to start off the date. 376 00:14:33.172 --> 00:14:34.038 First of all, you look great. 377 00:14:34.038 --> 00:14:35.440 - I know. 378 00:14:35.440 --> 00:14:37.042 - All right, and I've never seen 379 00:14:38.110 --> 00:14:39.612 a girl wear a vest like that. 380 00:14:39.612 --> 00:14:40.880 (Dave mumbles) 381 00:14:40.880 --> 00:14:43.182 - I used to be a singer in a rock band. 382 00:14:43.182 --> 00:14:45.918 - Oh, I see, okay, I bet you sing really well, anyways. 383 00:14:45.918 --> 00:14:47.085 - No. 384 00:14:47.085 --> 00:14:48.353 (audience laughs) 385 00:14:48.353 --> 00:14:49.153 - It's rock music, it doesn't matter. 386 00:14:49.153 --> 00:14:50.088 - It doesn't matter. 387 00:14:50.088 --> 00:14:52.023 - Anyways, I just wanted to say 388 00:14:52.023 --> 00:14:56.428 - Okay, okay, your eyes are as turquoise as slimy turtles! 389 00:14:58.630 --> 00:15:01.467 (audience laughs) 390 00:15:04.470 --> 00:15:05.670 - Your eyes-- 391 00:15:05.670 --> 00:15:09.475 - Christine, I just wanna say that your eyes 392 00:15:09.475 --> 00:15:12.177 - [Dave] Yeah, yeah, are as turquoise. 393 00:15:12.177 --> 00:15:14.747 - Are as kook-eyed 394 00:15:14.747 --> 00:15:16.548 (audience laughs) 395 00:15:16.548 --> 00:15:18.150 - No no, turquoise, turquoise. 396 00:15:22.053 --> 00:15:23.822 - Your eyes. - Yeah? 397 00:15:23.822 --> 00:15:25.223 - I could get lost in your eyes. 398 00:15:25.223 --> 00:15:26.725 They are as 399 00:15:26.725 --> 00:15:27.960 - [Dave] Turquoise. 400 00:15:27.960 --> 00:15:29.628 - They're as kook-eyed. 401 00:15:29.628 --> 00:15:30.462 - Turquoise. 402 00:15:32.530 --> 00:15:33.898 Turquoise. 403 00:15:33.898 --> 00:15:34.733 - Click-eyed 404 00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:37.068 (audience laughs) 405 00:15:37.068 --> 00:15:39.505 That's what a wink is called, it's a click-eye! 406 00:15:39.505 --> 00:15:42.675 - Member from back in the day they'd say, oh, click eyed. 407 00:15:42.675 --> 00:15:44.810 - Your eyes are as click-eyed as a. 408 00:15:44.810 --> 00:15:47.378 (Dave mumbles) 409 00:15:52.818 --> 00:15:54.018 - Can you just excuse me for a minute? 410 00:15:54.018 --> 00:15:55.487 - I hope so. - Okay. 411 00:15:55.487 --> 00:15:57.288 You know what, just order anything off the menu, 412 00:15:57.288 --> 00:16:00.925 I got my allowance today. - Oh, good, okay, thanks. 413 00:16:02.127 --> 00:16:03.328 - What are you doing? 414 00:16:03.328 --> 00:16:05.097 Click-eyed, what does that even mean? 415 00:16:05.097 --> 00:16:06.732 - Turquoise, (mumbles) turquoise. 416 00:16:09.735 --> 00:16:10.935 (audience laughs) 417 00:16:10.935 --> 00:16:13.538 (Dave mumbles) 418 00:16:14.873 --> 00:16:15.707 - I don't know what your saying! 419 00:16:15.707 --> 00:16:16.942 - Turquoise. 420 00:16:16.942 --> 00:16:18.910 - Check eyes. - Turquoise. 421 00:16:18.910 --> 00:16:20.712 - Turquoise - Yes! 422 00:16:20.712 --> 00:16:21.547 - Turquoise. 423 00:16:23.082 --> 00:16:26.852 (John and Dave groan) 424 00:16:26.852 --> 00:16:29.355 - Anyways, what did you order? 425 00:16:29.355 --> 00:16:30.822 - Page seven. 426 00:16:30.822 --> 00:16:33.325 - Oh, okay, you've got a healthy appetite. 427 00:16:33.325 --> 00:16:36.228 - Yeah, it's the seafood, page seven. 428 00:16:36.228 --> 00:16:39.197 - Your eyes are as turquoise-- 429 00:16:39.197 --> 00:16:42.067 - As slimy turtles. 430 00:16:42.067 --> 00:16:43.935 (audience laughs) 431 00:16:43.935 --> 00:16:46.672 Your eyes are as turquoise as phlegmy pickles. 432 00:16:46.672 --> 00:16:48.440 (audience laughs) 433 00:16:48.440 --> 00:16:50.875 - Is this 'cause of my singing voice? 434 00:16:50.875 --> 00:16:54.447 - Yes, yes, they remind me of those pickles you eat, 435 00:16:54.447 --> 00:16:56.115 and you get like a lot of phlegm in your throat. 436 00:16:56.115 --> 00:16:58.517 - That's what we named the band, the Phlegmy Pickles. 437 00:16:58.517 --> 00:16:59.985 (audience laughs) 438 00:16:59.985 --> 00:17:01.387 - Your eyes. - Your eyes. 439 00:17:01.387 --> 00:17:04.022 - Are as turquoise. - Your eyes are as turquoise 440 00:17:04.022 --> 00:17:07.692 - As slimy turtles. 441 00:17:07.692 --> 00:17:10.362 (audience laughs) 442 00:17:10.362 --> 00:17:12.163 - As. - Slimy. 443 00:17:12.163 --> 00:17:13.398 - Slimy. - Yeah. 444 00:17:13.398 --> 00:17:14.232 - [Dave] Turtles. 445 00:17:16.102 --> 00:17:17.468 - Turtles. 446 00:17:17.468 --> 00:17:18.770 (audience claps) 447 00:17:18.770 --> 00:17:19.672 Your eyes. 448 00:17:22.340 --> 00:17:24.075 - Oh, that wasn't okay. 449 00:17:24.075 --> 00:17:25.010 (audience laughs) 450 00:17:25.010 --> 00:17:27.278 - Your eyes are as turquoise 451 00:17:27.278 --> 00:17:31.150 as those slimy turtles we saw at the aquarium. 452 00:17:31.150 --> 00:17:33.418 - Oh, I remember that, that was sweet. 453 00:17:33.418 --> 00:17:34.987 - Remember that, that was a good memory we shared. 454 00:17:34.987 --> 00:17:37.088 - Yeah, I was there by myself with my family, 455 00:17:37.088 --> 00:17:38.790 and then there you were (laughs) weird. 456 00:17:38.790 --> 00:17:40.525 - Just behind some garbage cans. 457 00:17:40.525 --> 00:17:41.760 - No, it's fine, it was good. 458 00:17:41.760 --> 00:17:43.162 - It was good. - It was good. 459 00:17:43.162 --> 00:17:44.630 - Anyways, that was good memory. 460 00:17:44.630 --> 00:17:47.198 You know what, that brings me to my second point. 461 00:17:49.668 --> 00:17:52.137 The seafood is gonna be here in minute, 462 00:17:53.605 --> 00:17:55.973 Before it gets here, I just wanted to tell you that you. 463 00:17:57.542 --> 00:17:59.143 (Dave mumbles) 464 00:17:59.143 --> 00:18:02.380 (audience laughs) 465 00:18:02.380 --> 00:18:03.948 - [Dave] As a sharp chainsaw! 466 00:18:07.185 --> 00:18:08.820 (Dave mumbles) 467 00:18:08.820 --> 00:18:10.488 (audience laughs) 468 00:18:10.488 --> 00:18:11.657 - Do you know Japanese? 469 00:18:12.523 --> 00:18:13.658 (audience laughs) 470 00:18:13.658 --> 00:18:16.262 - Konnichi-no I don't. (laughs) 471 00:18:16.262 --> 00:18:18.063 No, I don't. 472 00:18:18.063 --> 00:18:22.667 - Okay, all right, here's what I wanna tell you, you're-- 473 00:18:22.667 --> 00:18:23.768 - Is the seafood here-- - Hello. 474 00:18:23.768 --> 00:18:24.803 - Oh, goodness! 475 00:18:24.803 --> 00:18:25.870 (audience laughs) 476 00:18:25.870 --> 00:18:27.138 - Would you like some water? 477 00:18:27.138 --> 00:18:28.507 - What's wrong with his face? 478 00:18:28.507 --> 00:18:30.208 - I don't know, I think he had-- 479 00:18:30.208 --> 00:18:31.877 - Oh, oh. 480 00:18:31.877 --> 00:18:34.747 - Aw, come on! - That's awkward. 481 00:18:34.747 --> 00:18:37.382 - Hopefully this is actual water. 482 00:18:38.550 --> 00:18:41.052 Thank you, waiter, we ordered seafood. 483 00:18:41.052 --> 00:18:43.355 (Dave mumbles) 484 00:18:43.355 --> 00:18:45.990 (audience laughs) 485 00:18:45.990 --> 00:18:46.892 - I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 486 00:18:46.892 --> 00:18:48.093 - Okay. 487 00:18:48.093 --> 00:18:49.327 - I lost my appetite with that thing 488 00:18:49.327 --> 00:18:50.928 that happened with whats-his-face. 489 00:18:50.928 --> 00:18:52.497 So, I'll be back in a minute. 490 00:18:52.497 --> 00:18:54.032 - Okay, yeah, take your time. 491 00:18:54.032 --> 00:18:56.668 - Thank you, I will, it's gonna be good, thank you, 492 00:18:56.668 --> 00:18:58.070 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 493 00:18:58.070 --> 00:18:59.572 - [Dave] Yeah, yeah. 494 00:18:59.572 --> 00:19:02.040 - Okay, would you stop touching me? 495 00:19:02.040 --> 00:19:05.110 Okay, you said, "Turquoise as slimy turtles", I got that! 496 00:19:05.110 --> 00:19:06.645 - That's good, that's good. 497 00:19:06.645 --> 00:19:09.147 (Dave mumbles) 498 00:19:09.147 --> 00:19:11.148 - Okay, but the next one, your snot? 499 00:19:11.148 --> 00:19:13.918 (Dave mumbles) 500 00:19:13.918 --> 00:19:15.020 (audience laughs) 501 00:19:15.020 --> 00:19:16.622 What, your thoughts? 502 00:19:16.622 --> 00:19:18.223 (Dave mumbles) 503 00:19:18.223 --> 00:19:19.357 (audience laughs) 504 00:19:19.357 --> 00:19:21.993 (Dave mumbles) 505 00:19:21.993 --> 00:19:22.928 - Thought? 506 00:19:22.928 --> 00:19:23.828 - No, smart. 507 00:19:24.963 --> 00:19:26.063 - Smart? - Yes! 508 00:19:26.063 --> 00:19:26.898 - You're smart. 509 00:19:28.100 --> 00:19:31.803 (imitates chainsaw revving) 510 00:19:31.803 --> 00:19:33.738 (audience laughs) 511 00:19:33.738 --> 00:19:34.907 - Hey! - Hi! 512 00:19:34.907 --> 00:19:36.675 - What did you do to your hair? 513 00:19:37.608 --> 00:19:38.777 It looks great! 514 00:19:38.777 --> 00:19:40.745 - They didn't have toilet paper so I just, 515 00:19:40.745 --> 00:19:43.348 (audience laughs) 516 00:19:43.348 --> 00:19:45.883 - I had to blow my nose on my hair is what I was saying. 517 00:19:45.883 --> 00:19:49.087 - Okay, anyways, what I wanted to say, that was creative. 518 00:19:49.087 --> 00:19:50.188 - Thank you. 519 00:19:50.188 --> 00:19:53.458 - And you are as smart-- 520 00:19:53.458 --> 00:19:55.293 - As a sharp chainsaw 521 00:19:55.293 --> 00:19:58.330 - As a sharp chainsaw 522 00:19:58.330 --> 00:20:01.633 (audience cheers and applauds) 523 00:20:01.633 --> 00:20:03.202 Once you get that motor going, 524 00:20:03.202 --> 00:20:05.170 you cut through all the problems. 525 00:20:05.170 --> 00:20:07.138 - Takes like seven pumps and some priming, 526 00:20:07.138 --> 00:20:09.608 but once I get it figured out, I'm pretty smart. 527 00:20:09.608 --> 00:20:11.142 - That's right, that's right, 528 00:20:11.142 --> 00:20:14.312 and I happen to know your middle name is Husqvarna. 529 00:20:14.312 --> 00:20:16.915 - That's 'cause you took my birth certificate, you weirdo. 530 00:20:16.915 --> 00:20:18.150 (audience laughs) 531 00:20:18.150 --> 00:20:19.450 - I did, I'll get that back to you 532 00:20:19.450 --> 00:20:20.885 after I get it back from Staples. 533 00:20:20.885 --> 00:20:22.387 - Okay. 534 00:20:22.387 --> 00:20:25.257 - Anyways, I think the date's going well, don't you think? 535 00:20:25.257 --> 00:20:27.758 - Sure. - Okay, all right. 536 00:20:27.758 --> 00:20:29.928 There's one more thing I wanna say, all right, 537 00:20:29.928 --> 00:20:31.263 and then we can go to the movies. 538 00:20:31.263 --> 00:20:33.232 - Oh, good it doesn't end. 539 00:20:33.232 --> 00:20:34.465 (audience laughs) 540 00:20:34.465 --> 00:20:37.235 - All right, here's what I wanted to say, okay, 541 00:20:37.235 --> 00:20:41.205 we know about your eyes, and I value your thoughts, 542 00:20:41.205 --> 00:20:42.840 all right, you're a smart person, 543 00:20:44.175 --> 00:20:46.345 (Dave mumbles) 544 00:20:46.345 --> 00:20:49.513 - I love you more than gooey Nutella. 545 00:20:51.883 --> 00:20:54.118 (audience laughs) 546 00:20:54.118 --> 00:20:55.353 - Are you having a stroke? 547 00:20:55.353 --> 00:20:57.957 I love you more than tangy Nutella. 548 00:20:59.892 --> 00:21:03.028 - You love me more than tangy Nutella? 549 00:21:03.028 --> 00:21:04.963 Do you even love tangy Nutella? 550 00:21:04.963 --> 00:21:06.732 - Well, no, but you're above that. 551 00:21:06.732 --> 00:21:08.700 - Hey, the waiter's here! - Hello! 552 00:21:08.700 --> 00:21:12.803 - Hi, oh, good, it's some bread, that is not. 553 00:21:12.803 --> 00:21:14.305 - Here you go. 554 00:21:14.305 --> 00:21:16.975 - Still waiting on that seafood there, Pierre. 555 00:21:16.975 --> 00:21:18.510 Yeah, I know, we're getting there. 556 00:21:18.510 --> 00:21:21.380 - You know what, it's seafood, they probably had to cook it. 557 00:21:21.380 --> 00:21:23.948 (Dave mumbles) 558 00:21:26.117 --> 00:21:28.953 (audience laughs) 559 00:21:30.555 --> 00:21:32.757 (Dave mumbles) 560 00:21:32.757 --> 00:21:35.293 - Hey lock jaw, can you stop hitting on my date? 561 00:21:35.293 --> 00:21:36.962 - Sorry, sorry! - That'd be great. 562 00:21:36.962 --> 00:21:38.730 (audience laughs) 563 00:21:38.730 --> 00:21:39.965 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 564 00:21:39.965 --> 00:21:42.233 - Thanks, Danny Dental, thank you! 565 00:21:42.233 --> 00:21:43.635 - I get it from all corners. 566 00:21:43.635 --> 00:21:46.505 I gotta say, I love you more than-- 567 00:21:46.505 --> 00:21:50.108 - Gooey Nutella. - Gooey Nutella. 568 00:21:50.108 --> 00:21:51.343 (audience cheers and applauds) 569 00:21:51.343 --> 00:21:54.112 I love you more than gooey Nutella! 570 00:21:54.112 --> 00:21:57.982 And your eyes are like turquoise slimy turtles, 571 00:21:57.982 --> 00:22:00.985 and your thoughts are sharper than a chainsaw. 572 00:22:00.985 --> 00:22:02.453 Will you marry me? 573 00:22:02.453 --> 00:22:04.022 - Aw, yeah! 574 00:22:04.022 --> 00:22:06.358 - I was gonna say no, but after that guy hit on you, 575 00:22:06.358 --> 00:22:08.693 I think you might be more special than I thought. 576 00:22:08.693 --> 00:22:10.895 Yeah, I'll marry you! - Yes! 577 00:22:10.895 --> 00:22:12.163 (audience applauds) 578 00:22:12.163 --> 00:22:13.132 Oh come on, you can do better than that. 579 00:22:13.132 --> 00:22:16.835 (audience cheers and applauds) 580 00:22:16.835 --> 00:22:18.303 There we go. 581 00:22:18.303 --> 00:22:20.338 All right, how we doin', you guys having fun? 582 00:22:20.338 --> 00:22:23.408 (audience cheers) 583 00:22:23.408 --> 00:22:25.177 - All right, so the next sketch 584 00:22:25.177 --> 00:22:29.280 we're gonna do is a sketch called, Late for Work. 585 00:22:29.280 --> 00:22:33.652 Dave is our boss, I'm gonna call up some volunteers. 586 00:22:33.652 --> 00:22:35.287 We've got Mrs. Crumb, 587 00:22:36.120 --> 00:22:37.522 (audience cheers) 588 00:22:37.522 --> 00:22:39.690 and Mrs. Deyoung. 589 00:22:39.690 --> 00:22:41.993 (audience cheers) 590 00:22:41.993 --> 00:22:45.030 and we've got Mr. Zuidhof, 591 00:22:45.030 --> 00:22:48.300 (audience cheers) 592 00:22:48.300 --> 00:22:50.302 And we've got Mr. Driediger. 593 00:22:51.135 --> 00:22:54.405 (audience claps) 594 00:22:54.405 --> 00:22:56.107 So come on up here. 595 00:23:02.213 --> 00:23:03.715 Now, by the looks on their faces, 596 00:23:03.715 --> 00:23:05.083 they didn't know they were on the volunteer list 597 00:23:05.083 --> 00:23:07.418 but I'm okay with that. 598 00:23:07.418 --> 00:23:08.887 Come on up, come on up. 599 00:23:08.887 --> 00:23:10.788 First of all, give these guys a hand for helping us out. 600 00:23:10.788 --> 00:23:13.792 (audience applauds) 601 00:23:16.862 --> 00:23:20.265 - Okay, all right, so here's what we're gonna do, 602 00:23:20.265 --> 00:23:22.433 we're gonna play late for work, Dave is the boss, 603 00:23:22.433 --> 00:23:25.670 Chris and I are late for work. 604 00:23:25.670 --> 00:23:26.872 We're gonna leave the room, 605 00:23:26.872 --> 00:23:29.240 Dave is gonna get suggestions from you. 606 00:23:29.240 --> 00:23:33.912 When we come in, ladies you will be telling Chris, 607 00:23:33.912 --> 00:23:35.747 you'll be helping him figure out 608 00:23:35.747 --> 00:23:38.217 how he's late for work, okay. 609 00:23:38.217 --> 00:23:40.252 Gentlemen, you're on my team. 610 00:23:41.418 --> 00:23:44.388 Objective, crush the ladies, all right. 611 00:23:44.388 --> 00:23:45.590 (audience laughs) 612 00:23:45.590 --> 00:23:49.027 You're gonna be helping me, not physically. 613 00:23:49.027 --> 00:23:50.595 - I know, yes. (audience laughs) 614 00:23:50.595 --> 00:23:51.830 - He flexed and I thought, 615 00:23:51.830 --> 00:23:54.032 Oh, this is gonna get really bad. (groans) 616 00:23:54.032 --> 00:23:55.700 (audience laughs) 617 00:23:55.700 --> 00:23:57.302 It's the Mennonite blood I think. 618 00:23:57.302 --> 00:23:58.537 (audience laughs) 619 00:23:58.537 --> 00:23:59.938 So, Dave, you wanna take it from here? 620 00:23:59.938 --> 00:24:01.338 - I'm ready to go, you guys gonna go out? 621 00:24:01.338 --> 00:24:02.640 - Yeah, we're gonna go out. 622 00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:04.242 - Who will come and get you when you're ready? 623 00:24:04.242 --> 00:24:05.543 Are you gonna be far? 624 00:24:05.543 --> 00:24:07.312 - Are we gonna be far, I don't know. 625 00:24:08.747 --> 00:24:11.048 - All right, so guys, you're gonna do the actions for John. 626 00:24:11.048 --> 00:24:12.283 So, lets get some suggestions. 627 00:24:12.283 --> 00:24:13.718 First of all what I need is this, 628 00:24:13.718 --> 00:24:15.487 I'm gonna write them down 'cause I forget 'cause I'm old. 629 00:24:15.487 --> 00:24:18.957 Here's thing, famous monument in America? 630 00:24:18.957 --> 00:24:20.425 (audience shouting) 631 00:24:20.425 --> 00:24:23.562 Statue of Liberty I heard, okay. 632 00:24:24.997 --> 00:24:27.998 Okay, now, I need something 633 00:24:27.998 --> 00:24:32.103 that will never be an Olympic sport. 634 00:24:32.103 --> 00:24:35.473 (audience shouts) 635 00:24:35.473 --> 00:24:36.307 What's that? 636 00:24:38.477 --> 00:24:39.945 (audience shouting) 637 00:24:39.945 --> 00:24:42.013 Marshmallow what? - Roasting. 638 00:24:42.013 --> 00:24:44.748 - Marshmallow roasting, okay, we'll do that. 639 00:24:46.752 --> 00:24:48.820 That sounds like a lot of fun. 640 00:24:49.955 --> 00:24:53.625 All right, now, I need a very unique tool 641 00:24:53.625 --> 00:24:57.028 that you would use to renovate a home. 642 00:24:57.028 --> 00:24:59.730 (audience shouts) 643 00:24:59.730 --> 00:25:00.565 A what? 644 00:25:02.700 --> 00:25:06.337 A bulldozer, I like that, we're gonna go with bulldozer. 645 00:25:07.738 --> 00:25:09.707 That's what you use to demolish a house, excellent. 646 00:25:09.707 --> 00:25:12.943 All right, so guys, you have Statue of Liberty, 647 00:25:12.943 --> 00:25:15.480 that's the place, the thing they're doing 648 00:25:15.480 --> 00:25:20.485 is marshmallow roasting, and the thing is bulldozer, okay. 649 00:25:21.787 --> 00:25:25.557 So, Statue of Liberty, marshmallow roasting, bulldozer. 650 00:25:25.557 --> 00:25:26.792 You got it? 651 00:25:26.792 --> 00:25:28.260 And, we'll do it one at a time, all right. 652 00:25:28.260 --> 00:25:30.595 Now, lets get some suggestions for the ladies for Chris. 653 00:25:30.595 --> 00:25:34.565 Give me building that is drafty and cold. 654 00:25:34.565 --> 00:25:37.702 (audience shouts) 655 00:25:37.702 --> 00:25:41.673 I heard, okay, we're gonna go grandma's house 656 00:25:41.673 --> 00:25:44.910 because my grandma's house is drafty and cold. 657 00:25:44.910 --> 00:25:48.513 All right, now, here's another one, give me an activity 658 00:25:48.513 --> 00:25:51.382 that you would likely hurt your knee doing. 659 00:25:51.382 --> 00:25:54.385 (audience shouting) 660 00:26:00.225 --> 00:26:01.693 Okay, hold on, give me something unique. 661 00:26:01.693 --> 00:26:04.595 I don't want soccer or baseball, what'd you say? 662 00:26:04.595 --> 00:26:07.598 (audience shouting) 663 00:26:09.567 --> 00:26:13.672 Tiling, okay, excellent, tiling. 664 00:26:13.672 --> 00:26:15.507 You guys ready for that, tiling? 665 00:26:15.507 --> 00:26:18.610 And give me something in the kitchen 666 00:26:18.610 --> 00:26:20.712 that needs to be plugged in. 667 00:26:20.712 --> 00:26:23.715 (audience shouting) 668 00:26:24.915 --> 00:26:28.553 I heard microwave, we're gonna go microwave. 669 00:26:29.620 --> 00:26:32.723 All right, so, a building that is drafty 670 00:26:32.723 --> 00:26:35.193 is grandma's house, all right. 671 00:26:35.193 --> 00:26:36.427 An activity that you do 672 00:26:36.427 --> 00:26:38.930 that you would hurt your knees is tiling, 673 00:26:38.930 --> 00:26:40.198 and something you need to plug in 674 00:26:40.198 --> 00:26:43.635 in the kitchen is a microwave, okay. 675 00:26:43.635 --> 00:26:47.038 Grandma's house, tiling, microwave. 676 00:26:47.038 --> 00:26:49.040 Okay, you guys got yours? 677 00:26:49.040 --> 00:26:53.110 - Liberty, roasting marshmallows, bulldozer. 678 00:26:53.110 --> 00:26:54.678 - Awesome. 679 00:26:54.678 --> 00:26:57.048 Eddie, Betty are the boys here yet? 680 00:26:57.048 --> 00:26:58.550 Oh, they're not. 681 00:26:58.550 --> 00:27:00.318 Eddie, can you please send them in when they get here? 682 00:27:00.318 --> 00:27:02.520 All right, thank you, all right, bye-bye. 683 00:27:02.520 --> 00:27:04.855 Oh, these guys are always late. 684 00:27:04.855 --> 00:27:07.825 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 685 00:27:07.825 --> 00:27:11.062 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 686 00:27:11.062 --> 00:27:12.097 Happy birthday, boss! 687 00:27:12.097 --> 00:27:13.565 - Thank you, Jonathan, 688 00:27:13.565 --> 00:27:15.667 but you do realize you're a little late. 689 00:27:15.667 --> 00:27:16.968 Do you realize what time it is? 690 00:27:16.968 --> 00:27:18.437 - I know I am late. 691 00:27:18.437 --> 00:27:20.672 I know it is 11 o'clock in the morning. 692 00:27:20.672 --> 00:27:22.407 - Do you know when we start working? 693 00:27:22.407 --> 00:27:24.942 - Before that? - Exactly. 694 00:27:24.942 --> 00:27:29.947 - However, I've been keeping track, for 364 days, 695 00:27:30.815 --> 00:27:32.050 'cause it's your birthday. 696 00:27:32.050 --> 00:27:33.283 - I know, John, and I appreciate that 697 00:27:33.283 --> 00:27:35.287 but I got a business to run. 698 00:27:35.287 --> 00:27:39.123 Could you, please, just tell me where you were? 699 00:27:39.123 --> 00:27:40.792 - Where was I? - Where were you? 700 00:27:40.792 --> 00:27:41.927 - Where was I? 701 00:27:41.927 --> 00:27:43.695 Okay, I'll give you some hints. 702 00:27:43.695 --> 00:27:44.895 All right - Okay. 703 00:27:44.895 --> 00:27:46.030 - I was.. 704 00:27:48.567 --> 00:27:52.570 I was singing. 705 00:27:52.570 --> 00:27:53.505 - Singing were ya? 706 00:27:53.505 --> 00:27:54.438 - I was singing 707 00:27:54.438 --> 00:27:55.607 - You got a lovely voice, do ya? 708 00:27:55.607 --> 00:27:58.577 - I have a lovely voice, but I was angry. 709 00:27:58.577 --> 00:27:59.877 - Oh, you're an angry singer, are ya? 710 00:27:59.877 --> 00:28:02.880 - Oh, yes. - I like that. 711 00:28:03.748 --> 00:28:05.217 - I was with royalty. 712 00:28:05.217 --> 00:28:07.718 - Oh, you're singing to royalty? 713 00:28:07.718 --> 00:28:09.720 - I was singing to royalty, they had a crown-- 714 00:28:09.720 --> 00:28:11.155 - Oh, that's great. 715 00:28:11.155 --> 00:28:13.190 - And they were holding up a... 716 00:28:13.190 --> 00:28:17.195 (audience laughs and applauds) 717 00:28:22.967 --> 00:28:26.037 And then for awhile there I was constipated. 718 00:28:26.037 --> 00:28:27.272 (audience laughs) 719 00:28:27.272 --> 00:28:28.272 - [Dave] Jonathan, that's not good. 720 00:28:28.272 --> 00:28:30.142 - Yesterday was a tough day. 721 00:28:30.142 --> 00:28:30.975 - I can tell. 722 00:28:32.377 --> 00:28:34.612 - I'll tell you what, I'll tell you where I was. 723 00:28:34.612 --> 00:28:35.813 - Okay. - Okay, yep. 724 00:28:36.882 --> 00:28:41.018 - I was, I had a little gas, 725 00:28:41.018 --> 00:28:43.220 and I was reaching for the Tums, 726 00:28:44.222 --> 00:28:46.023 where is the Tums? 727 00:28:46.023 --> 00:28:48.192 I couldn't find it, but 728 00:28:51.328 --> 00:28:53.330 I was looking at a, 729 00:28:54.265 --> 00:28:56.400 I was sight-seeing, yeah. 730 00:28:56.400 --> 00:28:57.935 - Oh, excellent, did you know where 731 00:28:57.935 --> 00:28:58.803 you we're sight-seeing, John? 732 00:28:58.803 --> 00:29:00.805 - I was sightseeing... 733 00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:05.710 by an apple. - An apple? 734 00:29:05.710 --> 00:29:07.978 - I was sightseeing by a big apple! 735 00:29:07.978 --> 00:29:08.913 (audience laughs) 736 00:29:08.913 --> 00:29:10.215 - I'll tell you where I was. 737 00:29:10.215 --> 00:29:11.348 - All right, I'm waiting for it. 738 00:29:11.348 --> 00:29:12.550 - I was at the Statue of Liberty! 739 00:29:12.550 --> 00:29:15.087 - Oh, that's great, that's great. 740 00:29:15.087 --> 00:29:17.155 (audience cheers and applauds) 741 00:29:17.155 --> 00:29:18.623 - All right, John. 742 00:29:18.623 --> 00:29:20.192 - And I gotta good surprise for you! 743 00:29:20.192 --> 00:29:22.327 - All right, all right, you're at the Statue of Liberty, 744 00:29:22.327 --> 00:29:24.895 can I ask you what you're doing at the Statue of Liberty, 745 00:29:24.895 --> 00:29:26.763 'cause you're a different little boy? 746 00:29:28.098 --> 00:29:29.233 - I'm creative. 747 00:29:29.233 --> 00:29:30.535 - You're very creative, yes you are. 748 00:29:30.535 --> 00:29:32.003 - I think outside the box. 749 00:29:32.003 --> 00:29:34.372 - Okay, so what were you doing at the Statue of Liberty? 750 00:29:34.372 --> 00:29:38.142 - So, I went to see the Statue of Liberty, 751 00:29:38.142 --> 00:29:40.745 and here's what I was doing. 752 00:29:40.745 --> 00:29:41.578 - All right. 753 00:29:41.578 --> 00:29:42.413 - I was... 754 00:29:45.115 --> 00:29:47.952 (audience laughs) 755 00:29:50.788 --> 00:29:53.592 - I was blowing kisses at strangers. 756 00:29:53.592 --> 00:29:54.925 (audience laughs) 757 00:29:54.925 --> 00:29:57.462 - Wow, that would of been great. 758 00:29:57.462 --> 00:30:01.698 - I got down on my knees and I wanted to propose to someone, 759 00:30:01.698 --> 00:30:03.400 and so I just kept (blowing). 760 00:30:03.400 --> 00:30:05.903 - Just randomly, is that what you did? 761 00:30:05.903 --> 00:30:07.972 - I'm now engaged. - How'd that go for ya? 762 00:30:07.972 --> 00:30:09.440 - I'm now engaged to three ladies. 763 00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:10.708 - Oh, way to go. 764 00:30:10.708 --> 00:30:14.045 - Yes, I was, I was 765 00:30:14.045 --> 00:30:16.113 - You weren't done? 766 00:30:16.113 --> 00:30:19.150 - Besides getting engaged 767 00:30:19.150 --> 00:30:21.752 (audience laughs) 768 00:30:21.752 --> 00:30:26.257 I was lacking fiber in my diet. 769 00:30:26.257 --> 00:30:28.693 and decided to have a camp fire. 770 00:30:30.562 --> 00:30:32.130 - And what were you doing on the campfire? 771 00:30:32.130 --> 00:30:33.463 - What was I doing on the campfire? 772 00:30:33.463 --> 00:30:35.800 - Yes. - Roasting marshmallows! 773 00:30:35.800 --> 00:30:37.368 - Oh, that's great. 774 00:30:38.770 --> 00:30:41.238 - All right, so, let me get this straight, Jonathan. 775 00:30:41.238 --> 00:30:44.975 What you did, is you went to the Statue of Liberty. 776 00:30:44.975 --> 00:30:47.478 - Yes. - Instead of sightseeing, 777 00:30:47.478 --> 00:30:48.713 - Roasting marshmallows! 778 00:30:48.713 --> 00:30:50.013 - That's great. 779 00:30:50.013 --> 00:30:51.215 - Right at the base of the Statue of Liberty, 780 00:30:51.215 --> 00:30:52.450 right by her little toe. 781 00:30:52.450 --> 00:30:54.018 - Okay, well, that's very impressive. 782 00:30:54.018 --> 00:30:56.787 Now, Jonathan, you know this, that you been late many times. 783 00:30:56.787 --> 00:30:58.322 But you know that you win me over 784 00:30:58.322 --> 00:31:00.492 every time you bring me back something, 785 00:31:00.492 --> 00:31:02.360 and I heard it's my birthday, 786 00:31:02.360 --> 00:31:03.962 so what you bring me back? 787 00:31:03.962 --> 00:31:07.365 - I got you something you're gonna show all of your friends! 788 00:31:08.532 --> 00:31:10.335 - I remember last year's gift was great. 789 00:31:10.335 --> 00:31:11.535 - Every barbecue you have, 790 00:31:11.535 --> 00:31:13.037 you're gonna tell all your friends, 791 00:31:13.037 --> 00:31:15.740 "Hey, come here, and look at this great gift John got me!" 792 00:31:15.740 --> 00:31:17.742 - Okay, what you get me, Jonathan? 793 00:31:17.742 --> 00:31:20.512 - I'll give you a hint, it's huge! 794 00:31:20.512 --> 00:31:21.578 - Okay. 795 00:31:26.117 --> 00:31:28.953 (audience laughs) 796 00:31:30.522 --> 00:31:32.690 - And it's gonna make you have seizures! 797 00:31:32.690 --> 00:31:35.593 - Oh, I can't wait! 798 00:31:38.262 --> 00:31:41.967 - I'm just trying to remember how to describe it. 799 00:31:41.967 --> 00:31:43.400 (audience laughs) 800 00:31:43.400 --> 00:31:45.770 - Take your time, John, don't rush, don't rush. 801 00:31:46.903 --> 00:31:48.305 - You know how you're building a house? 802 00:31:48.305 --> 00:31:50.073 I got you a jackhammer! 803 00:31:50.073 --> 00:31:52.143 - Oh, a jackhammer? 804 00:31:52.143 --> 00:31:55.547 - Not just a jackhammer, though, something more bigger! 805 00:31:55.547 --> 00:31:56.547 (Dave gasps) 806 00:31:56.547 --> 00:31:58.617 Bigger than a jackhammer. 807 00:31:59.550 --> 00:32:02.353 (audience laughs) 808 00:32:04.022 --> 00:32:07.792 I got you a snow plow! 809 00:32:07.792 --> 00:32:09.727 - Oh, a snowplow? 810 00:32:09.727 --> 00:32:11.762 - Bigger than a snowplow! 811 00:32:11.762 --> 00:32:12.897 - This is getting exciting! 812 00:32:12.897 --> 00:32:14.132 - I got you a-- 813 00:32:14.132 --> 00:32:15.633 - It was a jackhammer, now it's a snowplow, 814 00:32:15.633 --> 00:32:17.102 what could it possibly be now? 815 00:32:17.102 --> 00:32:19.770 - What could be bigger than a snowplow he wondered. 816 00:32:19.770 --> 00:32:20.605 (audience laughs) 817 00:32:20.605 --> 00:32:22.107 - I got you a bulldozer! 818 00:32:23.540 --> 00:32:25.310 - Oh, Jonathan! 819 00:32:25.310 --> 00:32:27.312 (audience cheers and applauds) 820 00:32:27.312 --> 00:32:28.947 - It's a bulldozer for you! 821 00:32:28.947 --> 00:32:30.915 - That's great, I always wanted a bulldozer! 822 00:32:30.915 --> 00:32:32.150 - I know! 823 00:32:32.150 --> 00:32:33.550 - All right, now it's time to go back to work. 824 00:32:33.550 --> 00:32:36.687 And if you see Christopher, please send him in. 825 00:32:36.687 --> 00:32:38.122 - I need to go in my office. 826 00:32:38.122 --> 00:32:39.490 - All right, I'm gonna go that way. 827 00:32:39.490 --> 00:32:40.725 - I'm gonna go this way. - Okay. 828 00:32:40.725 --> 00:32:42.193 - All right, thank you so much, happy birthday! 829 00:32:42.193 --> 00:32:45.497 - Thank you very much. - It's the boss' birthday! 830 00:32:45.497 --> 00:32:48.498 (audience applauds) 831 00:32:50.568 --> 00:32:54.338 - Oh, look who it is, it's Christopher! 832 00:32:54.338 --> 00:32:56.773 Thank you so much for gracing us with your presence. 833 00:32:56.773 --> 00:32:59.210 Do you realize that you're late for work again? 834 00:32:59.210 --> 00:33:00.978 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 835 00:33:00.978 --> 00:33:02.513 (audience laughs) 836 00:33:02.513 --> 00:33:04.448 - Okay, listen to me, I'm gonna cut to the chase. 837 00:33:04.448 --> 00:33:06.350 I'm not gonna beat around the bush anymore. 838 00:33:06.350 --> 00:33:07.852 Where were you? 839 00:33:07.852 --> 00:33:08.987 - Your accent's funny (laughs). 840 00:33:08.987 --> 00:33:09.787 - Thank you. 841 00:33:11.288 --> 00:33:13.725 - I was somewhere super important. 842 00:33:13.725 --> 00:33:14.958 - Were ya? 843 00:33:14.958 --> 00:33:16.327 - Yeah, I was gonna be here, but I didn't, so. 844 00:33:16.327 --> 00:33:18.930 - So what's more important than work? 845 00:33:18.930 --> 00:33:20.632 - My mom was in a home. 846 00:33:20.632 --> 00:33:23.133 - Oh, your visiting your mother? 847 00:33:23.133 --> 00:33:24.302 - Yeah. 848 00:33:24.302 --> 00:33:25.370 - What a good little boy you are. 849 00:33:25.370 --> 00:33:27.805 I know, see it was good, right? 850 00:33:27.805 --> 00:33:29.973 No, I was... 851 00:33:29.973 --> 00:33:32.443 (audience laughs) 852 00:33:32.443 --> 00:33:36.847 It was square, and there was an old person. 853 00:33:36.847 --> 00:33:38.315 I was playing Monopoly. 854 00:33:38.315 --> 00:33:39.583 - With an old person? 855 00:33:39.583 --> 00:33:42.720 - No, like the monocle guy. - Oh, I see. 856 00:33:44.522 --> 00:33:48.358 - I was struggling, is what I was doing. 857 00:33:48.358 --> 00:33:49.993 (audience laughs) 858 00:33:49.993 --> 00:33:54.198 - I was in a church, a house, I was in a house. 859 00:33:54.198 --> 00:33:55.032 - You're in a house? 860 00:33:55.032 --> 00:33:55.967 - I was in a-- 861 00:33:55.967 --> 00:33:56.767 - Who's house were you in? 862 00:33:56.767 --> 00:33:58.302 - Was in the house! 863 00:33:58.302 --> 00:33:59.703 (audience laughs) 864 00:33:59.703 --> 00:34:02.440 - Like a party time? - Yeah, I know, right, yeah. 865 00:34:02.440 --> 00:34:03.273 - [Save] So, you were in a house. 866 00:34:03.273 --> 00:34:04.142 Who's house were you in? 867 00:34:05.375 --> 00:34:09.313 - I think I was just in, like, a retirement home, 868 00:34:09.313 --> 00:34:14.185 and I was up in the attic of a retirement home. 869 00:34:14.185 --> 00:34:15.453 (audience laughs) 870 00:34:15.453 --> 00:34:18.055 I was spying on old people in the attic! 871 00:34:18.055 --> 00:34:19.323 - That's a little awkward. 872 00:34:19.323 --> 00:34:21.058 - No, it's great, I'll take their things like, 873 00:34:21.058 --> 00:34:22.627 where are they going? - Let me tell you something, 874 00:34:22.627 --> 00:34:25.062 Chris, you're in the house of an old person, 875 00:34:25.062 --> 00:34:26.397 who was that old person? 876 00:34:26.397 --> 00:34:27.998 Was that someone near and dear to you? 877 00:34:27.998 --> 00:34:29.633 - I was in the house of an old person. 878 00:34:29.633 --> 00:34:31.968 - Was that person near and dear to ya? 879 00:34:31.968 --> 00:34:33.972 - It was an old boxer. 880 00:34:33.972 --> 00:34:35.238 (audience laughs) 881 00:34:35.238 --> 00:34:37.975 - An old boxer? - A championship boxer. 882 00:34:40.512 --> 00:34:42.380 - [Dave] Did you know this old person? 883 00:34:42.380 --> 00:34:44.282 - It was my mother. 884 00:34:45.115 --> 00:34:46.683 - Oh, is she that old? 885 00:34:48.820 --> 00:34:50.855 - It was my grandmother. 886 00:34:50.855 --> 00:34:53.623 - [Dave] Oh, you're at your grandmother's house! 887 00:34:53.623 --> 00:34:55.158 - [Chris] I was at my grandma's house! 888 00:34:55.158 --> 00:34:58.362 - All right, so Christopher, you're late for work. 889 00:34:58.362 --> 00:35:00.732 I do love my grandmother, so I do get it, 890 00:35:00.732 --> 00:35:03.935 but what were you doing at your grandma's house. 891 00:35:03.935 --> 00:35:07.238 - Oh no, its a really good, okay, 892 00:35:07.238 --> 00:35:10.708 the reason I was there is 'cause she fell down, right. 893 00:35:10.708 --> 00:35:12.743 - [Dave] Oh, she fell down? 894 00:35:12.743 --> 00:35:14.378 - [Chris] Doing yoga, and I folded her in half 895 00:35:14.378 --> 00:35:16.480 - You folded her in half? 896 00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:17.982 How did she feel after you fold her in half? 897 00:35:17.982 --> 00:35:21.418 - I don't know, I tried to glue her leg back together. 898 00:35:21.418 --> 00:35:23.888 - Oh, you glued her, did she like that? 899 00:35:23.888 --> 00:35:28.893 - No, 'cause she, after I, she, 900 00:35:29.627 --> 00:35:30.728 I put her in a box. 901 00:35:32.163 --> 00:35:34.365 - So let me get this right, - And then I covered her. 902 00:35:34.365 --> 00:35:36.533 - You went to your grandma's house, you put her in a box, 903 00:35:36.533 --> 00:35:37.902 and you covered her up? 904 00:35:37.902 --> 00:35:39.770 - That's what it sounds like. 905 00:35:39.770 --> 00:35:41.938 - [Dave] You're a crazy gent. 906 00:35:41.938 --> 00:35:43.440 (audience laughs) 907 00:35:43.440 --> 00:35:46.177 - No, I didn't do that, that would be ridiculous. 908 00:35:46.177 --> 00:35:48.913 It looks like I did that, but that is not what I did. 909 00:35:50.047 --> 00:35:50.982 - So, you went to your grandma's house, 910 00:35:50.982 --> 00:35:52.783 did you help her do something? 911 00:35:52.783 --> 00:35:53.750 - Probably not. 912 00:35:55.953 --> 00:35:59.623 I was down, I was folding things, and I was-- 913 00:35:59.623 --> 00:36:00.858 - You were folding? 914 00:36:00.858 --> 00:36:03.027 - Yeah, making sandwiches, no I wasn't. 915 00:36:03.027 --> 00:36:03.962 - You're making a sandwiches? 916 00:36:03.962 --> 00:36:06.130 - I wasn't making sandwiches. 917 00:36:06.130 --> 00:36:08.232 I was putting something on the ground, 918 00:36:09.433 --> 00:36:11.668 and then drawing lines and rubbing it around. 919 00:36:12.837 --> 00:36:15.372 - You were drawing lines and rubbing it around 920 00:36:15.372 --> 00:36:16.307 at your grandma's place? 921 00:36:16.307 --> 00:36:17.708 - Hey, it's my grandma's house! 922 00:36:17.708 --> 00:36:18.642 I do what I want! - I'm not arguing with ya. 923 00:36:20.645 --> 00:36:22.112 - I was laying bricks. 924 00:36:22.112 --> 00:36:24.148 - You were laying bricks on the ground? 925 00:36:24.148 --> 00:36:26.783 - I was trying to box her in. (laughs) 926 00:36:26.783 --> 00:36:28.818 (audience laughs) 927 00:36:28.818 --> 00:36:30.955 - So, Chris, if you're gonna lay something on the ground, 928 00:36:30.955 --> 00:36:33.623 I don't think it'd be bricks, would it? 929 00:36:33.623 --> 00:36:34.625 - I don't know, man! 930 00:36:35.492 --> 00:36:37.093 (audience laughs) 931 00:36:37.093 --> 00:36:40.463 I wasn't building it up, I was building it around. 932 00:36:40.463 --> 00:36:42.533 - So, you're laying something on the floor are ya? 933 00:36:42.533 --> 00:36:46.303 - A road, a cobble road, a stone road. 934 00:36:46.303 --> 00:36:47.438 - Inside? 935 00:36:47.438 --> 00:36:50.107 - No, I was doing a driveway. 936 00:36:50.107 --> 00:36:52.277 I was doing a garden. 937 00:36:52.277 --> 00:36:54.345 - In your grandma's house, let me walk you through this. 938 00:36:54.345 --> 00:36:55.512 - Holy cow! 939 00:36:55.512 --> 00:36:57.615 - You're in your grandma's house, 940 00:36:57.615 --> 00:37:00.150 and you're on the ground inside, 941 00:37:00.150 --> 00:37:01.285 and you said you're laying bricks, 942 00:37:01.285 --> 00:37:03.787 what you doing laying bricks inside? 943 00:37:03.787 --> 00:37:06.090 - I'm not laying bricks. 944 00:37:06.090 --> 00:37:07.725 I was spreading something. 945 00:37:07.725 --> 00:37:09.960 - All right, spreading it - And putting it down. 946 00:37:09.960 --> 00:37:11.262 - And arranging it. - And spreading it 947 00:37:11.262 --> 00:37:12.763 and putting it down. 948 00:37:12.763 --> 00:37:14.632 - Was there a lot of them in a row? 949 00:37:14.632 --> 00:37:15.867 - Yes. (audience laughs) 950 00:37:15.867 --> 00:37:17.835 - So, what would that be in a row? 951 00:37:17.835 --> 00:37:19.903 - Dominoes, I don't know! 952 00:37:21.338 --> 00:37:24.375 - Your grandma's house is made of dominoes? 953 00:37:24.375 --> 00:37:25.810 Is that what you're saying to me? 954 00:37:25.810 --> 00:37:28.812 - I could really use a sounds like right about now. 955 00:37:28.812 --> 00:37:29.947 (audience laughs) 956 00:37:29.947 --> 00:37:31.648 - All right, I'm filing this in my head. 957 00:37:31.648 --> 00:37:33.783 I'm gonna file it in my head. 958 00:37:33.783 --> 00:37:35.252 - I was making a filing cabinet. 959 00:37:35.252 --> 00:37:37.153 - You said to rhyme, I'm rhyming, all right? 960 00:37:37.153 --> 00:37:38.622 - I was piling 961 00:37:38.622 --> 00:37:40.557 - You're not piling anything! 962 00:37:40.557 --> 00:37:41.825 (audience laughs) 963 00:37:41.825 --> 00:37:44.362 You might pile them before you lay them! 964 00:37:44.362 --> 00:37:46.597 - Oh, Oh my goodness! 965 00:37:46.597 --> 00:37:49.400 (audience laughs) 966 00:37:49.400 --> 00:37:50.500 - What were you doing? 967 00:37:50.500 --> 00:37:52.068 - I was fixing her shower, 968 00:37:52.068 --> 00:37:53.503 all the tile in the bathroom got messed up. 969 00:37:53.503 --> 00:37:55.205 - All right, that's good! 970 00:37:55.205 --> 00:37:59.143 (audience cheers and applauds) 971 00:38:00.343 --> 00:38:01.712 You're laying bricks! - That was an adventure! 972 00:38:01.712 --> 00:38:03.213 I was an adventurous youth 973 00:38:03.213 --> 00:38:04.782 and I just have a hard time thinking now. 974 00:38:04.782 --> 00:38:06.317 - So, let me get this straight, 975 00:38:06.317 --> 00:38:08.252 the reason you're late is you were at your grandma's house, 976 00:38:08.252 --> 00:38:10.888 you're laying tile in her shower for her. 977 00:38:10.888 --> 00:38:11.822 - That's a good grandson 978 00:38:11.822 --> 00:38:13.057 - I know it sounds ridiculous. 979 00:38:13.057 --> 00:38:14.525 - No, I have to let you off this time 980 00:38:14.525 --> 00:38:17.060 because that's being a good grandson, I get it, it's great, 981 00:38:17.060 --> 00:38:19.930 but here's the thing, you know I love it when you bring me 982 00:38:19.930 --> 00:38:22.533 little gifts, little trinkets, little souvenirs. 983 00:38:24.002 --> 00:38:25.168 What did you bring me back from your grandma's house? 984 00:38:25.168 --> 00:38:27.270 - I brought you a bribe. 985 00:38:27.270 --> 00:38:28.472 - A bribe, what'd you bring me? 986 00:38:28.472 --> 00:38:30.240 - Oh, it's really good. 987 00:38:30.240 --> 00:38:32.142 So, I picked this up last night, 988 00:38:32.142 --> 00:38:34.778 and I thought you would really appreciate. 989 00:38:34.778 --> 00:38:35.713 - What is it? 990 00:38:35.713 --> 00:38:36.980 - I don't know. - All right. 991 00:38:36.980 --> 00:38:38.482 - It looks like 992 00:38:40.083 --> 00:38:41.385 a door. 993 00:38:41.385 --> 00:38:42.318 (audience laughs) 994 00:38:42.318 --> 00:38:46.057 It looks like an elevator. 995 00:38:47.157 --> 00:38:48.392 - It fit in my hand, that elevator. 996 00:38:48.392 --> 00:38:50.527 - I didn't say it was a good elevator. 997 00:38:50.527 --> 00:38:51.628 (audience laughs) 998 00:38:51.628 --> 00:38:53.963 I got you a fridge. 999 00:38:53.963 --> 00:38:56.000 - From your grandma's house - I got you a fridge. 1000 00:38:56.000 --> 00:38:58.568 I took my grandmother's fridge and I gave it to you, 1001 00:38:58.568 --> 00:39:00.838 and there's a ghost in it. 1002 00:39:00.838 --> 00:39:02.305 (audience laughs) 1003 00:39:02.305 --> 00:39:03.840 - There's a ghost in your grandma's fridge? 1004 00:39:03.840 --> 00:39:06.143 - Yeah, I didn't make the rules up. 1005 00:39:06.143 --> 00:39:08.445 There's food in the fridge, I take it, 1006 00:39:08.445 --> 00:39:11.015 oh, there's a bird, get it out of your office! 1007 00:39:11.015 --> 00:39:11.948 (audience laughs) 1008 00:39:11.948 --> 00:39:15.318 Oh look, it's a... 1009 00:39:17.888 --> 00:39:20.623 (audience laughs) 1010 00:39:20.623 --> 00:39:22.158 Oh, so. 1011 00:39:23.527 --> 00:39:25.963 - All right, what you bring back, it's in my hand. 1012 00:39:25.963 --> 00:39:29.433 - See, it's actually. (blows air) 1013 00:39:29.433 --> 00:39:30.367 - You blew it up? 1014 00:39:30.367 --> 00:39:31.602 - Oh yeah, no, it's great. 1015 00:39:31.602 --> 00:39:33.503 It's really light and then when you plug it in 1016 00:39:34.605 --> 00:39:36.740 it just flashes 12 o'clock for like 10 days 1017 00:39:36.740 --> 00:39:38.275 'cause you can't figure it out. 1018 00:39:39.577 --> 00:39:40.845 - You blew it up. 1019 00:39:40.845 --> 00:39:43.947 - I got you a camping blow-upable microwave. 1020 00:39:43.947 --> 00:39:45.783 - Oh, I've always wanted one. 1021 00:39:45.783 --> 00:39:47.183 - Yeah, it's pretty good. - That's great! 1022 00:39:47.183 --> 00:39:48.752 (audience cheers and applauds) 1023 00:39:48.752 --> 00:39:50.187 - Is that okay? 1024 00:39:50.187 --> 00:39:51.988 - I love microwaves, I've never seen a blow-up one before. 1025 00:39:51.988 --> 00:39:54.358 - Neither have I, but it had to fit in your hand. 1026 00:39:54.358 --> 00:39:55.927 - All right, I'll just put it in my pocket. 1027 00:39:55.927 --> 00:39:56.760 You can go back to work. 1028 00:39:56.760 --> 00:39:58.228 - Can I keep my job? 1029 00:39:58.228 --> 00:40:00.197 - You can, thank you very much, that's great, all right. 1030 00:40:00.197 --> 00:40:03.900 (audience applauds) 1031 00:40:03.900 --> 00:40:07.505 - Okay, so by round of applause, who did it better? 1032 00:40:07.505 --> 00:40:09.140 Was it the guys? 1033 00:40:09.140 --> 00:40:13.210 (audience cheers and applauds) 1034 00:40:13.210 --> 00:40:14.812 Was it the ladies? 1035 00:40:14.812 --> 00:40:17.582 (audience cheers) 1036 00:40:17.582 --> 00:40:20.183 I have to say, I have to say, the guys took it. 1037 00:40:20.183 --> 00:40:21.918 - I think I had a lot to do 1038 00:40:21.918 --> 00:40:25.122 with the negative performance of the ladies. 1039 00:40:25.122 --> 00:40:26.390 (audience laughs) 1040 00:40:26.390 --> 00:40:28.125 - I liked the Statue of Liberty up here, 1041 00:40:28.125 --> 00:40:29.627 this was great, this was like. 1042 00:40:31.295 --> 00:40:35.365 - Even people that have never seen a floor before, 1043 00:40:35.365 --> 00:40:36.633 knew that was tiling. 1044 00:40:36.633 --> 00:40:39.203 (audience laughs) 1045 00:40:39.203 --> 00:40:41.138 Our next sketch is called, "Helping Hands". 1046 00:40:41.138 --> 00:40:43.640 Here's how it works, Helping Hands, 1047 00:40:43.640 --> 00:40:47.043 is a scene where Dave and I are gonna do a scene, 1048 00:40:47.043 --> 00:40:48.945 and we have two volunteers from the audience, 1049 00:40:48.945 --> 00:40:50.915 who are going to move us around 1050 00:40:50.915 --> 00:40:53.183 because we can't move ourselves, all right. 1051 00:40:53.183 --> 00:40:56.353 So, we're looking for a Mrs. Overand and Elena. 1052 00:41:00.423 --> 00:41:03.127 (audience claps) 1053 00:41:03.127 --> 00:41:04.662 - Here we go. - Yay! 1054 00:41:07.130 --> 00:41:09.333 - Oh, come on you can do better than that! 1055 00:41:09.333 --> 00:41:12.102 (audience cheers and applauds) 1056 00:41:12.102 --> 00:41:15.272 There we go, all right, all right. 1057 00:41:15.272 --> 00:41:18.908 So, here's how it's gonna work, all right, 1058 00:41:20.143 --> 00:41:22.478 Mrs. Overund, you're gonna be moving Dave. 1059 00:41:23.447 --> 00:41:24.648 - Like now? 1060 00:41:24.648 --> 00:41:27.183 - No. - Soon, very soon! 1061 00:41:27.183 --> 00:41:28.485 - Don't move 'em yet. - Pretty excited. 1062 00:41:28.485 --> 00:41:30.453 - She's a take control person, isn't she? 1063 00:41:30.453 --> 00:41:31.655 - I'll move him right now. 1064 00:41:31.655 --> 00:41:33.557 - She'd make a great teacher I think. 1065 00:41:33.557 --> 00:41:35.325 All right, ere's how it works, okay. 1066 00:41:35.325 --> 00:41:37.127 Now, you listen for Dave's cue. 1067 00:41:37.127 --> 00:41:40.163 If Dave says, "I have to reach something from the cupboard", 1068 00:41:40.163 --> 00:41:42.633 you're gonna lift his hand, all right? 1069 00:41:42.633 --> 00:41:44.768 If you don't move it down, it's gonna stay there. 1070 00:41:45.702 --> 00:41:47.605 When you need to move him around, 1071 00:41:47.605 --> 00:41:50.307 move his shoulders, you can move his feet. 1072 00:41:50.307 --> 00:41:53.110 When he wants to move forward or back, 1073 00:41:54.312 --> 00:41:56.380 forward you just tap the back of his legs. 1074 00:41:56.380 --> 00:41:59.617 The faster you tap the faster he goes, okay. 1075 00:41:59.617 --> 00:42:01.185 You want him to move back you just tap 1076 00:42:01.185 --> 00:42:03.453 the front of his knees there, 1077 00:42:03.453 --> 00:42:05.890 and when you want him to look around, 1078 00:42:05.890 --> 00:42:08.125 just remember he's not an owl, 1079 00:42:08.125 --> 00:42:12.228 and we're gonna gently turn his head. 1080 00:42:12.228 --> 00:42:13.697 All right, easy enough? 1081 00:42:13.697 --> 00:42:15.698 - I think I got it. - Okay. 1082 00:42:15.698 --> 00:42:17.935 Chris, can you read our scene for us? 1083 00:42:17.935 --> 00:42:20.037 - Probably, all right. 1084 00:42:21.738 --> 00:42:26.077 Helping Hands, Dave, you're a professional golfer, 1085 00:42:26.077 --> 00:42:27.712 and you have put out your back, 1086 00:42:27.712 --> 00:42:32.182 so you must see rogue physiotherapist John 1087 00:42:32.182 --> 00:42:34.252 before your masters game. 1088 00:42:34.252 --> 00:42:36.320 - I'm a rogue physiotherapist. 1089 00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:38.222 Dave are your hands clean or dry or? 1090 00:42:38.222 --> 00:42:40.057 - Yeah, they're okay. 1091 00:42:40.057 --> 00:42:41.325 (audience laughs) 1092 00:42:41.325 --> 00:42:42.125 I'll be touching you, don't worry about it. 1093 00:42:42.125 --> 00:42:44.262 - Wow, my life is great. 1094 00:42:44.262 --> 00:42:46.330 All right, Elena, you're over here. 1095 00:42:46.330 --> 00:42:48.498 Okay, Dave, you've got the ball. 1096 00:42:48.498 --> 00:42:49.967 - Okay, you ready - Yep. 1097 00:42:49.967 --> 00:42:52.703 - Oh, my back is hurting right there, my back! 1098 00:42:52.703 --> 00:42:54.438 I got to touch it with my hand. 1099 00:42:55.405 --> 00:42:57.642 Oh, yeah, right there! 1100 00:42:57.642 --> 00:42:59.175 I need some help. 1101 00:42:59.175 --> 00:43:01.045 I gotta bang on the door, get the doctor's attention. 1102 00:43:01.045 --> 00:43:02.680 Hey, doc! 1103 00:43:02.680 --> 00:43:03.513 (audience laughs) 1104 00:43:03.513 --> 00:43:05.348 I'm here, I need help! 1105 00:43:05.348 --> 00:43:08.285 - It sounds like a master golfer's at my door. 1106 00:43:08.285 --> 00:43:10.820 I'm gonna walk over there and open that door. 1107 00:43:13.057 --> 00:43:14.425 (audience laughs) 1108 00:43:14.425 --> 00:43:16.793 - I'm coming, I'm coming! 1109 00:43:17.628 --> 00:43:18.995 (audience laughs) 1110 00:43:18.995 --> 00:43:20.430 I've got arthritis. 1111 00:43:21.565 --> 00:43:23.733 (audience laughs) 1112 00:43:23.733 --> 00:43:25.668 That was a sudden stop. 1113 00:43:25.668 --> 00:43:26.603 (audience laughs) 1114 00:43:26.603 --> 00:43:28.172 We were not expecting that. 1115 00:43:28.172 --> 00:43:30.007 All right, just let me open the door. 1116 00:43:31.175 --> 00:43:33.677 Oh, it's a tiny door that opens vertically. 1117 00:43:33.677 --> 00:43:34.878 (audience laughs) 1118 00:43:34.878 --> 00:43:36.413 It's like an accordion door, come on in! 1119 00:43:36.413 --> 00:43:37.915 - Hey, doc, let me look at ya! 1120 00:43:41.052 --> 00:43:43.253 (audience laughs) 1121 00:43:43.253 --> 00:43:44.922 It's great to see ya! 1122 00:43:44.922 --> 00:43:49.927 - Are you, you, are you a famous golfer? 1123 00:43:50.760 --> 00:43:52.128 - I am! 1124 00:43:52.128 --> 00:43:53.830 - Oh my goodness. - Do you want my autograph? 1125 00:43:53.830 --> 00:43:55.098 - Yes. 1126 00:43:55.098 --> 00:43:58.735 - Okay, let me write it here, with a pen. 1127 00:43:58.735 --> 00:43:59.837 I have piece of paper. 1128 00:44:01.272 --> 00:44:02.505 - Just write it real quick. 1129 00:44:02.505 --> 00:44:05.275 - Okay, there we go. - And throw it to me. 1130 00:44:05.275 --> 00:44:06.277 - Okay. 1131 00:44:06.277 --> 00:44:07.243 - Throw it. - I will. 1132 00:44:07.243 --> 00:44:08.445 - Okay. - Throw it. 1133 00:44:08.445 --> 00:44:09.747 - There we go. 1134 00:44:09.747 --> 00:44:12.115 (audience laughs) 1135 00:44:12.115 --> 00:44:14.452 Wow, that's wet paper! - It is. 1136 00:44:14.452 --> 00:44:15.685 (audience laughs) 1137 00:44:15.685 --> 00:44:16.787 - I'm just gonna put this in my pocket. 1138 00:44:16.787 --> 00:44:18.322 - Okay. - There we go. 1139 00:44:18.322 --> 00:44:19.857 Okay, why don't you come in and 1140 00:44:19.857 --> 00:44:21.492 tell me what the problem is. - I would love to come in. 1141 00:44:21.492 --> 00:44:23.093 You start and I'll follow you. 1142 00:44:23.093 --> 00:44:23.927 - Okay. 1143 00:44:25.295 --> 00:44:26.263 (audience laughs) 1144 00:44:26.263 --> 00:44:27.097 - Here I come! 1145 00:44:27.097 --> 00:44:29.933 (audience laughs) 1146 00:44:33.070 --> 00:44:34.972 - Just follow me! 1147 00:44:34.972 --> 00:44:37.808 (audience laughs) 1148 00:44:44.548 --> 00:44:46.750 Okay! - I'm here! 1149 00:44:46.750 --> 00:44:49.085 - Now, let me take a look at your swing. 1150 00:44:49.085 --> 00:44:50.120 - Okay. 1151 00:44:50.120 --> 00:44:52.122 - Back up a bit. - All right, 1152 00:44:52.122 --> 00:44:53.690 - 'Cause I don't wanna be hurt. 1153 00:44:54.792 --> 00:44:56.560 Do you have to pee? - I think so. 1154 00:44:56.560 --> 00:44:59.497 (audience laughs) 1155 00:45:00.397 --> 00:45:01.898 - Okay, now show me. 1156 00:45:01.898 --> 00:45:03.533 - Show 'em the way you position yourself! 1157 00:45:03.533 --> 00:45:05.002 - That's right, pretend you have a club in your hands. 1158 00:45:05.002 --> 00:45:07.437 - I'm gonna grab my club, I brought it with me. 1159 00:45:07.437 --> 00:45:09.138 I'll bend down and grab it. 1160 00:45:10.340 --> 00:45:11.175 Got it! 1161 00:45:12.275 --> 00:45:13.677 Okay, now watch this, 1162 00:45:13.677 --> 00:45:15.678 I'm gonna grab the club with both hands, 1163 00:45:17.413 --> 00:45:18.648 (audience laughs) 1164 00:45:18.648 --> 00:45:21.585 - I'm gonna pull back, now, just watch my hips. 1165 00:45:21.585 --> 00:45:22.585 (audience laughs) 1166 00:45:22.585 --> 00:45:23.887 Look at my hips. - Yep, looking. 1167 00:45:23.887 --> 00:45:25.122 - See the way they wiggle? - Yep. 1168 00:45:25.122 --> 00:45:27.190 - Look at them, they wiggle, see that. 1169 00:45:28.625 --> 00:45:31.128 All right, it's all about the wiggle in the hips, 1170 00:45:31.128 --> 00:45:32.897 and the follow through, so, wiggle! 1171 00:45:34.097 --> 00:45:34.932 (audience laughs) 1172 00:45:34.932 --> 00:45:35.765 - Follow through! 1173 00:45:37.033 --> 00:45:38.102 - There we go! 1174 00:45:38.102 --> 00:45:39.335 (audience laughs) 1175 00:45:39.335 --> 00:45:41.672 It's like I'm chopping down a tree! 1176 00:45:41.672 --> 00:45:43.740 - All right, I think I see what the problem is. 1177 00:45:43.740 --> 00:45:46.510 Let me tap my forehead and look like an expert 1178 00:45:47.710 --> 00:45:48.612 Oh. 1179 00:45:48.612 --> 00:45:49.980 (audience laughs) 1180 00:45:49.980 --> 00:45:52.850 Yes, I know what the problem is, okay. 1181 00:45:52.850 --> 00:45:53.683 - Okay. 1182 00:45:53.683 --> 00:45:54.985 - You. - Yes? 1183 00:45:54.985 --> 00:45:58.688 - Have terminal carpal tunnel. 1184 00:45:58.688 --> 00:46:00.557 - Oh, that doesn't sound good, doc. 1185 00:46:00.557 --> 00:46:02.125 - It can be fixed. - Okay. 1186 00:46:02.125 --> 00:46:04.628 - That's a different type of terminal. 1187 00:46:04.628 --> 00:46:05.828 - [Dave] All right. 1188 00:46:05.828 --> 00:46:08.098 - All right, so here's what I'm gonna do, 1189 00:46:08.098 --> 00:46:09.332 the first thing I'm gonna do, 1190 00:46:09.332 --> 00:46:12.035 we need to get your back's attention, 1191 00:46:12.035 --> 00:46:16.907 and we do that with something I call, the Spooning Bear Hug. 1192 00:46:16.907 --> 00:46:18.375 - [Dave] Oh! 1193 00:46:18.375 --> 00:46:19.577 (audience laughs) 1194 00:46:19.577 --> 00:46:20.477 Well, let me get in the position here, doc, 1195 00:46:20.477 --> 00:46:21.412 let me straighten out. 1196 00:46:21.412 --> 00:46:22.445 - Yeah, stand up straight. 1197 00:46:24.113 --> 00:46:26.250 Okay, and face side-ways, there you go. 1198 00:46:26.250 --> 00:46:28.552 I'm gonna come around behind you, 1199 00:46:28.552 --> 00:46:29.385 - [Dave] Okay. 1200 00:46:32.255 --> 00:46:35.092 (audience laughs) 1201 00:46:36.360 --> 00:46:37.193 - All right. 1202 00:46:38.095 --> 00:46:40.763 (audience laughs) 1203 00:46:40.763 --> 00:46:43.667 Here I come, sneaking up behind you. 1204 00:46:43.667 --> 00:46:45.102 (audience laughs) 1205 00:46:45.102 --> 00:46:48.505 I'm just gonna put my arms around your chest, there we go. 1206 00:46:49.873 --> 00:46:51.140 - Hey, doc? - Yep! 1207 00:46:51.140 --> 00:46:52.843 - Would you be okay if held you as well? 1208 00:46:52.843 --> 00:46:54.712 I just feel more secure that way. 1209 00:46:54.712 --> 00:46:56.647 - Oh, sure, that's fine. - Okay, here I come. 1210 00:46:56.647 --> 00:47:00.783 - Just turn right around, or do that. 1211 00:47:00.783 --> 00:47:03.620 (audience laughs) 1212 00:47:05.988 --> 00:47:08.858 okay. - I feel spooned! 1213 00:47:08.858 --> 00:47:10.360 (audience laughs) 1214 00:47:10.360 --> 00:47:12.395 - All right, now, I'm gonna squeeze your chest real hard, 1215 00:47:12.395 --> 00:47:13.863 and bend you backwards. 1216 00:47:13.863 --> 00:47:15.098 - Here we go. 1217 00:47:15.098 --> 00:47:15.998 - And you're gonna feel the crack. 1218 00:47:15.998 --> 00:47:16.533 - Okay. - Here we go. 1219 00:47:17.467 --> 00:47:18.468 (back cracks) - Oh. 1220 00:47:18.468 --> 00:47:19.502 (audience laughs) 1221 00:47:19.502 --> 00:47:20.537 - Wow! - Did you feel that? 1222 00:47:20.537 --> 00:47:22.005 - I felt something. - Yes. 1223 00:47:22.005 --> 00:47:25.275 All right, I'm gonna let go, and I'm gonna back away, 1224 00:47:25.275 --> 00:47:26.610 and I want you to shake it off. 1225 00:47:26.610 --> 00:47:28.012 - Okay. - Here we go. 1226 00:47:30.880 --> 00:47:31.982 (audience laughs) 1227 00:47:31.982 --> 00:47:33.017 - Look at that. 1228 00:47:33.017 --> 00:47:34.483 (audience laughs) 1229 00:47:34.483 --> 00:47:35.918 - You're a little looser! - Wiggle my hips again, hips! 1230 00:47:35.918 --> 00:47:36.853 Oh, yeah. 1231 00:47:38.288 --> 00:47:40.290 - You're a little looser, I have some hope for ya! 1232 00:47:42.492 --> 00:47:44.928 - Are we done? - No, no, no, 1233 00:47:44.928 --> 00:47:46.162 we got it loose for now, 1234 00:47:46.162 --> 00:47:47.430 but you don't want it to happen again. 1235 00:47:47.430 --> 00:47:50.733 - No, I don't. - Okay, here's the number one, 1236 00:47:50.733 --> 00:47:52.970 the number one - Let me look at ya! 1237 00:47:52.970 --> 00:47:54.070 - The number one thing we need you to do. 1238 00:47:54.070 --> 00:47:55.538 - Let me look at ya. 1239 00:47:55.538 --> 00:47:56.407 - Look at me. 1240 00:47:56.407 --> 00:47:57.707 (audience laughs) 1241 00:47:57.707 --> 00:47:59.442 - I'm up here. - Where? 1242 00:47:59.442 --> 00:48:00.610 - I'm up here. 1243 00:48:00.610 --> 00:48:01.812 - Oh, there you are. - There we go! 1244 00:48:01.812 --> 00:48:05.648 - All right, I need you to get on all fours. 1245 00:48:05.648 --> 00:48:06.850 - This sounds dangerous. 1246 00:48:06.850 --> 00:48:09.118 - You know what, it's for your health 1247 00:48:09.118 --> 00:48:10.520 and I'm willing to take that risk. 1248 00:48:10.520 --> 00:48:12.488 - Okay, I'm going down now. 1249 00:48:12.488 --> 00:48:15.058 - Okay, just down on all fours, 1250 00:48:15.058 --> 00:48:18.362 just hop right down, hoppity-hop, hop. 1251 00:48:18.362 --> 00:48:20.330 (audience laughs) 1252 00:48:20.330 --> 00:48:21.865 There you go. 1253 00:48:21.865 --> 00:48:22.698 (audience laughs) 1254 00:48:22.698 --> 00:48:23.667 That's all threes, okay. 1255 00:48:25.668 --> 00:48:28.505 (audience laughs) 1256 00:48:30.973 --> 00:48:32.308 You looking for a hydrant? 1257 00:48:32.308 --> 00:48:34.543 (audience laughs) 1258 00:48:34.543 --> 00:48:38.448 - I don't know, all this excitement. 1259 00:48:38.448 --> 00:48:41.918 - All right, now your back is loose now, 1260 00:48:41.918 --> 00:48:43.887 but we need to make it stay loose. 1261 00:48:43.887 --> 00:48:45.755 So, I'm gonna come around to your right side. 1262 00:48:45.755 --> 00:48:46.590 - Yeah. 1263 00:48:50.360 --> 00:48:51.962 - I wish my knees worked better than they do, 1264 00:48:51.962 --> 00:48:52.963 I'll tell you that. 1265 00:48:52.963 --> 00:48:53.897 (audience laughs) 1266 00:48:53.897 --> 00:48:56.065 Here we go, all right, now, 1267 00:48:56.065 --> 00:49:01.070 I am just going to throw myself over your back. 1268 00:49:02.405 --> 00:49:04.507 - Hey, doc, I don't think I like that. 1269 00:49:04.507 --> 00:49:05.342 (audience laughs) 1270 00:49:05.342 --> 00:49:06.377 - You know what? 1271 00:49:06.377 --> 00:49:08.912 All treatment is painful. 1272 00:49:10.113 --> 00:49:13.317 No pain, no brain. - And terrifying. 1273 00:49:13.317 --> 00:49:15.418 - Okay, I'm just gonna lower myself. 1274 00:49:17.953 --> 00:49:20.990 (audience laughs) 1275 00:49:20.990 --> 00:49:22.125 - I'm just getting... 1276 00:49:23.593 --> 00:49:27.063 (audience laughs) 1277 00:49:27.063 --> 00:49:29.265 Oh, there we go. 1278 00:49:29.265 --> 00:49:31.902 - You're gonna ride me like a pony? 1279 00:49:31.902 --> 00:49:32.835 (audience laughs) 1280 00:49:32.835 --> 00:49:34.070 - I was not expecting this, 1281 00:49:34.070 --> 00:49:36.607 but I think it's an alternative treatment. 1282 00:49:36.607 --> 00:49:38.042 (audience laughs) 1283 00:49:38.042 --> 00:49:40.677 - Oh, you're heavy! 1284 00:49:40.677 --> 00:49:42.912 (audience laughs) 1285 00:49:42.912 --> 00:49:46.383 - Look at that, I rode you, and now I just climbed off. 1286 00:49:46.383 --> 00:49:47.217 (audience laughs) 1287 00:49:47.217 --> 00:49:48.918 Not even expecting that. 1288 00:49:48.918 --> 00:49:49.953 (audience laughs) 1289 00:49:49.953 --> 00:49:51.522 How's your back feel? - Worse. 1290 00:49:51.522 --> 00:49:52.722 (audience laughs) 1291 00:49:52.722 --> 00:49:54.758 - All right, ne last thing to do 1292 00:49:54.758 --> 00:49:57.093 and we'll submit this treatment in. 1293 00:49:57.093 --> 00:49:59.395 I just need you to lie on your tummy. 1294 00:49:59.395 --> 00:50:01.498 - I don't know, okay. 1295 00:50:02.632 --> 00:50:05.435 - There we go, you're doing good Davey. 1296 00:50:05.435 --> 00:50:08.038 Pretty soon you'll be golfing like an expert. 1297 00:50:09.038 --> 00:50:11.073 - Great, there you go! - Ow, ow. 1298 00:50:11.073 --> 00:50:12.308 (audience laughs) 1299 00:50:12.308 --> 00:50:13.677 - [John] That's called the kitty cat pose. 1300 00:50:13.677 --> 00:50:15.012 (audience laughs) 1301 00:50:15.012 --> 00:50:16.345 - Meow! (groans) 1302 00:50:16.345 --> 00:50:17.813 (audience laughs) 1303 00:50:17.813 --> 00:50:20.583 - That's good, all right, now here's what I'm gonna do, 1304 00:50:20.583 --> 00:50:21.785 this little treatment, 1305 00:50:21.785 --> 00:50:24.387 this is why I'm a rogue physiotherapist. 1306 00:50:24.387 --> 00:50:26.288 - I don't feel comfort with this. 1307 00:50:26.288 --> 00:50:27.790 (audience laughs) 1308 00:50:27.790 --> 00:50:31.995 - Other physiotherapist would never do, the steam roller. 1309 00:50:31.995 --> 00:50:34.765 (audience laughs) 1310 00:50:34.765 --> 00:50:35.698 Are you ready, Dave? 1311 00:50:35.698 --> 00:50:37.133 - I don't think so. 1312 00:50:37.133 --> 00:50:39.135 - You probably wanna straighten your legs out. 1313 00:50:41.838 --> 00:50:42.972 - Okay. 1314 00:50:42.972 --> 00:50:44.440 - There you go. 1315 00:50:44.440 --> 00:50:48.478 All right, real gentle now, I'm just going to cross. 1316 00:50:48.478 --> 00:50:50.480 (Dave whimpers) No need to whimper. 1317 00:50:50.480 --> 00:50:51.782 (audience laughs) 1318 00:50:51.782 --> 00:50:54.785 - Here we go, here we go, I'm just about to. 1319 00:50:56.185 --> 00:50:57.453 - Oh, what are you doing? 1320 00:50:57.453 --> 00:50:59.990 - I'm not sure. (audience laughs) 1321 00:50:59.990 --> 00:51:01.725 - I was looking for your health card. 1322 00:51:01.725 --> 00:51:03.460 (audience laughs) 1323 00:51:03.460 --> 00:51:04.895 - You can get that later, doc! 1324 00:51:04.895 --> 00:51:07.163 - It's not in your-- - I'll give it to you later. 1325 00:51:07.163 --> 00:51:09.498 - All right, I'm just gonna bridge you. 1326 00:51:09.498 --> 00:51:12.202 Right now, I'm just crawl right over you. 1327 00:51:12.202 --> 00:51:14.905 Here we go, here we go. 1328 00:51:14.905 --> 00:51:18.942 Oh yeah, oh, this is good. (Dave groans) 1329 00:51:18.942 --> 00:51:21.177 Oh, yeah. - Oh, doc. 1330 00:51:21.177 --> 00:51:22.878 (audience laughs) 1331 00:51:22.878 --> 00:51:23.813 What are you doing? 1332 00:51:24.882 --> 00:51:26.850 - I'm not sure what I'm doing. 1333 00:51:26.850 --> 00:51:28.252 (audience laughs) 1334 00:51:28.252 --> 00:51:30.720 - I'm pretty sure a steamroller doesn't work like this. 1335 00:51:30.720 --> 00:51:32.188 (audience laughs) 1336 00:51:32.188 --> 00:51:34.490 And I'm pretty sure my legs don't work like that! 1337 00:51:34.490 --> 00:51:37.027 (audience laughs) 1338 00:51:37.027 --> 00:51:40.897 Okay, How are you feeling now? 1339 00:51:40.897 --> 00:51:42.298 - Are we snuggling now, doc? 1340 00:51:43.433 --> 00:51:44.533 (audience laughs) 1341 00:51:44.533 --> 00:51:46.637 Is step two the treatment? 1342 00:51:46.637 --> 00:51:48.405 Spoon then snuggle! 1343 00:51:48.405 --> 00:51:51.140 - I need to reinforce good behavior (laughs). 1344 00:51:52.408 --> 00:51:54.812 All right, I have a feeling you're cured. 1345 00:51:54.812 --> 00:51:56.547 - I think I am! - Okay. 1346 00:51:56.547 --> 00:51:58.113 (audience laughs) 1347 00:51:58.113 --> 00:52:01.217 - Just let me hop right up, I'm just gonna hop right up. 1348 00:52:01.217 --> 00:52:03.653 (Dave groans) 1349 00:52:03.653 --> 00:52:05.188 Here we go. 1350 00:52:05.188 --> 00:52:06.990 Yeah, I don't wanna be around this area too long. 1351 00:52:06.990 --> 00:52:08.392 (audience laughs) 1352 00:52:08.392 --> 00:52:10.427 You're looking good already. 1353 00:52:10.427 --> 00:52:12.562 I can tell you got no more curvature of the spine. 1354 00:52:12.562 --> 00:52:14.363 I'm just gonna stand up here, 1355 00:52:14.363 --> 00:52:16.633 'cause your foot's in a bad spot. 1356 00:52:16.633 --> 00:52:18.668 (audience laughs) 1357 00:52:18.668 --> 00:52:21.037 Like a real bad spot, stop it! 1358 00:52:21.037 --> 00:52:21.972 (audience laughs) 1359 00:52:21.972 --> 00:52:23.440 Stop moving your. 1360 00:52:23.440 --> 00:52:26.275 (audience laughs) 1361 00:52:27.443 --> 00:52:29.947 - Oh, there we go, oh yeah, oh, this is easy. 1362 00:52:31.213 --> 00:52:33.317 Oh, the temptation right now. 1363 00:52:33.317 --> 00:52:35.818 (audience laughs) 1364 00:52:35.818 --> 00:52:38.555 all right, I'll back up, and you just hop up, 1365 00:52:38.555 --> 00:52:39.788 and you show me your swing. 1366 00:52:39.788 --> 00:52:42.025 'Cause I think you've got it back, my friend. 1367 00:52:42.858 --> 00:52:44.593 - Here I come. 1368 00:52:44.593 --> 00:52:45.628 (audience laughs) 1369 00:52:45.628 --> 00:52:47.630 - Come on, just hop right up. 1370 00:52:47.630 --> 00:52:49.065 Just hop up! 1371 00:52:49.065 --> 00:52:49.900 (Dave groans) 1372 00:52:49.900 --> 00:52:50.933 Here we go. 1373 00:52:50.933 --> 00:52:51.768 (Dave groans) 1374 00:52:51.768 --> 00:52:53.603 (audience laughs) 1375 00:52:53.603 --> 00:52:54.637 - Here we go. 1376 00:52:54.637 --> 00:52:56.840 - You're kinda like a robot. 1377 00:52:56.840 --> 00:52:57.773 (audience laughs) 1378 00:52:57.773 --> 00:52:59.542 Like a robot that's constipated. 1379 00:52:59.542 --> 00:53:02.345 (audience laughs) 1380 00:53:05.248 --> 00:53:06.182 So good. 1381 00:53:06.182 --> 00:53:07.617 - I'm just taking my time, doc. 1382 00:53:07.617 --> 00:53:09.785 - The circulation's returning to all your limbs. 1383 00:53:09.785 --> 00:53:11.755 - And I'm taking it all in. - here, let me help you up. 1384 00:53:11.755 --> 00:53:13.790 I'll put my hands on your something 1385 00:53:13.790 --> 00:53:14.958 - I feel sassy. 1386 00:53:14.958 --> 00:53:18.193 - There we go, here we go, and up! 1387 00:53:18.193 --> 00:53:21.665 Up you come, up, up! 1388 00:53:21.665 --> 00:53:22.498 Oh! 1389 00:53:23.467 --> 00:53:26.535 Oh. - Oh, oh. 1390 00:53:26.535 --> 00:53:28.705 - Okay, take a couple steps and shake it out. 1391 00:53:28.705 --> 00:53:29.940 - Okay, take a couple steps. 1392 00:53:29.940 --> 00:53:31.507 - Take a couple steps. - Couple steps. 1393 00:53:31.507 --> 00:53:33.877 - Here we go, taking a couple steps. 1394 00:53:33.877 --> 00:53:35.345 Not me. 1395 00:53:35.345 --> 00:53:37.913 (audience laughs) 1396 00:53:37.913 --> 00:53:39.548 - All right, let me get in position. 1397 00:53:39.548 --> 00:53:42.118 - All right, show me that golf swing. 1398 00:53:42.118 --> 00:53:44.620 - Let me grab my club. - Okay. 1399 00:53:46.388 --> 00:53:47.923 Ta-da! 1400 00:53:47.923 --> 00:53:49.960 - Look at you, swing it! - Both hands! 1401 00:53:49.960 --> 00:53:53.830 It's all in the hips, pull back, wiggle the hips, 1402 00:53:53.830 --> 00:53:54.663 (audience laughs) 1403 00:53:54.663 --> 00:53:55.798 and follow through! 1404 00:53:57.900 --> 00:53:58.735 Follow through! 1405 00:53:59.868 --> 00:54:01.605 - [Audience Member] Follow through! 1406 00:54:01.605 --> 00:54:03.072 - Follow through! 1407 00:54:03.072 --> 00:54:04.740 Yes! - And down you go! 1408 00:54:04.740 --> 00:54:07.677 That's amazing, you're cured! 1409 00:54:07.677 --> 00:54:09.778 - Doc, can I give you a hug? 1410 00:54:09.778 --> 00:54:10.713 - Yes! 1411 00:54:10.713 --> 00:54:12.782 - And to show you how good I am, 1412 00:54:12.782 --> 00:54:15.318 I'm gonna back up and run into your arms. 1413 00:54:15.318 --> 00:54:17.087 - Put the golf club down. - I will 1414 00:54:17.953 --> 00:54:18.788 (audience laughs) 1415 00:54:18.788 --> 00:54:19.957 - Down it goes! 1416 00:54:19.957 --> 00:54:21.190 (audience laughs) 1417 00:54:21.190 --> 00:54:22.125 - Let me just get a running start, 1418 00:54:22.125 --> 00:54:23.360 gonna go over there and run. 1419 00:54:23.360 --> 00:54:24.393 - I'm a scarecrow. 1420 00:54:25.428 --> 00:54:26.328 - Here we go. 1421 00:54:28.298 --> 00:54:30.167 - [John] I'm a scarecrow with scoliosis. 1422 00:54:30.167 --> 00:54:32.602 - Okay, let me turn around. 1423 00:54:33.537 --> 00:54:35.972 - Here you come. - Here I come. 1424 00:54:35.972 --> 00:54:36.807 (audience laughs) 1425 00:54:36.807 --> 00:54:38.375 - [John] Caw, caw! 1426 00:54:38.375 --> 00:54:40.677 (audience laughs) 1427 00:54:40.677 --> 00:54:43.680 No crows are eatin' my corn. - Here I go! 1428 00:54:43.680 --> 00:54:47.250 - Here he comes, here he comes, hands up! 1429 00:54:47.250 --> 00:54:48.518 (Dave grunts) 1430 00:54:48.518 --> 00:54:49.785 (audience laughs) 1431 00:54:49.785 --> 00:54:52.222 - Let me hug you! - Okay. 1432 00:54:52.222 --> 00:54:56.192 - [Dave] Let me wrap my arms, there's one, there's two. 1433 00:54:56.192 --> 00:54:57.960 - You are cured! - Thank you, doc. 1434 00:54:57.960 --> 00:54:59.762 - All right, thank you. 1435 00:54:59.762 --> 00:55:01.430 Thank you ladies, you were awesome! 1436 00:55:01.430 --> 00:55:02.365 (audience cheers and applauds) 1437 00:55:02.365 --> 00:55:03.567 - [Dave] Thanks guys, great job. 1438 00:55:03.567 --> 00:55:07.503 - [Chris] That was very good, thank you. 1439 00:55:07.503 --> 00:55:09.472 That was awesome (laughs). 1440 00:55:09.472 --> 00:55:10.640 - Are you guys having fun? 1441 00:55:10.640 --> 00:55:14.277 (audience cheers) 1442 00:55:14.277 --> 00:55:15.678 That's awesome, okay. 1443 00:55:17.013 --> 00:55:18.080 It is time, 1444 00:55:21.483 --> 00:55:24.520 for Mouse Trap. 1445 00:55:24.520 --> 00:55:26.422 (audience cheers) 1446 00:55:26.422 --> 00:55:28.358 - That's right. - All right, here we go. 1447 00:55:28.358 --> 00:55:29.692 We're parting the curtains. 1448 00:55:31.093 --> 00:55:32.528 - [Audience] Ooh! 1449 00:55:35.665 --> 00:55:37.200 - [Dave] Wow. 1450 00:55:37.200 --> 00:55:39.168 - It doesn't look that bad, right guys? 1451 00:55:39.168 --> 00:55:40.537 [Audience] No! 1452 00:55:40.537 --> 00:55:42.538 - [Chris] It's totally cool. 1453 00:55:42.538 --> 00:55:45.308 - All right, so, Mouse Trap, 1454 00:55:45.308 --> 00:55:50.080 The sketch Mouse Trap, basically, the recap is, 1455 00:55:50.080 --> 00:55:52.415 we are going to listen to Chris' direction. 1456 00:55:52.415 --> 00:55:54.150 We're going to have bare feet, 1457 00:55:54.150 --> 00:55:56.285 and we're gonna be blindfolded 1458 00:55:56.285 --> 00:56:01.123 and Chris is gonna direct us to roll, step, walk, hit 1459 00:56:01.123 --> 00:56:04.293 every mouse trap that is set on the stage, 1460 00:56:04.293 --> 00:56:08.163 which I've been led to believe is over 200. 1461 00:56:08.163 --> 00:56:10.100 - 250, yeah. - There's 250, so. 1462 00:56:10.100 --> 00:56:12.935 (audience cheers) 1463 00:56:14.337 --> 00:56:16.907 All right, so Chris, 1464 00:56:19.042 --> 00:56:21.812 you are going to be the head elf working for Santa. 1465 00:56:21.812 --> 00:56:23.145 - Sure am. 1466 00:56:23.145 --> 00:56:26.315 - And We are? 1467 00:56:26.315 --> 00:56:27.250 - [Audience Member] Slave elves. 1468 00:56:27.250 --> 00:56:29.385 - We are slave elves. thank you! 1469 00:56:29.385 --> 00:56:30.653 (audience laughs) 1470 00:56:30.653 --> 00:56:31.620 - [Chris] Security. 1471 00:56:33.523 --> 00:56:34.657 - All righty. - Are you ready? 1472 00:56:34.657 --> 00:56:36.092 - Wanna move over here? - Yeah. 1473 00:56:37.827 --> 00:56:39.428 Goggles on. - Goggles on. 1474 00:56:42.598 --> 00:56:44.700 - Googly eyes on. - Googly eyes. 1475 00:56:46.035 --> 00:56:49.372 (audience laughs) 1476 00:56:49.372 --> 00:56:51.073 - Did you roll up your sleeves? 1477 00:56:51.073 --> 00:56:52.008 - What? 1478 00:56:52.008 --> 00:56:52.742 - Did you roll up your sleeves? 1479 00:56:52.742 --> 00:56:53.777 - Why? 1480 00:56:53.777 --> 00:56:55.278 - Well, 'cause I wanna match. 1481 00:56:55.278 --> 00:56:56.913 - 'Cause you gotta get it on your forearms 1482 00:56:56.913 --> 00:56:58.147 if you're touching the mouse traps. 1483 00:56:58.147 --> 00:56:59.148 - There we go. 1484 00:56:59.148 --> 00:57:00.350 - Obviously. - More pain. 1485 00:57:00.350 --> 00:57:01.583 - [Chris] That's right, okay, ready? 1486 00:57:01.583 --> 00:57:02.785 - No, I got one more sleeve. 1487 00:57:02.785 --> 00:57:04.120 - [Chris] Okay, well, John, come on! 1488 00:57:04.120 --> 00:57:06.288 - Sorry, it was all sleeve-y 1489 00:57:06.288 --> 00:57:07.623 - [Chris] You're getting the worst of it. 1490 00:57:08.892 --> 00:57:10.527 - All right, Dave, are you there. 1491 00:57:11.795 --> 00:57:12.662 Okay. 1492 00:57:15.832 --> 00:57:17.633 Are you nervous, I'm nervous. 1493 00:57:17.633 --> 00:57:21.003 As a first year elf, I can't believe Santa asked us 1494 00:57:21.003 --> 00:57:23.673 to cover for him in the last house. 1495 00:57:23.673 --> 00:57:25.575 - This is my first day on the job. 1496 00:57:25.575 --> 00:57:29.078 - Oh, man, man, man, we could screw this up in so many ways. 1497 00:57:29.078 --> 00:57:30.513 I wanna make Santa proud of us. 1498 00:57:30.513 --> 00:57:32.015 - I know, so do I, so do I, so do I. 1499 00:57:32.015 --> 00:57:33.850 We can do this though, I'm sure of it. 1500 00:57:33.850 --> 00:57:34.750 - Are you there, Chris? 1501 00:57:34.750 --> 00:57:36.618 - Hey, Davey, Johnny, 1502 00:57:36.618 --> 00:57:39.322 look I don't know how to tell you this, 1503 00:57:39.322 --> 00:57:42.025 Santa doesn't have a lot of faith in you, okay, 1504 00:57:42.025 --> 00:57:43.827 so, I'm here to help you out. 1505 00:57:43.827 --> 00:57:47.163 We can't turn on any lights, and it's pretty dark 1506 00:57:47.163 --> 00:57:49.165 so I got some night cameras set up. 1507 00:57:49.165 --> 00:57:52.002 I'm in the van, the security van parked around the corner. 1508 00:57:52.002 --> 00:57:54.070 I'm just gonna lead you through everything, 1509 00:57:54.070 --> 00:57:56.672 through your little in ear pieces, okay? 1510 00:57:56.672 --> 00:57:58.107 - Yeah. - So, now look, 1511 00:57:59.542 --> 00:58:01.810 where are you guys, are you guys on the roof yet? 1512 00:58:01.810 --> 00:58:03.345 - We're on the roof, We're right by the chimney. 1513 00:58:03.345 --> 00:58:04.613 - Okay, good, good, good. 1514 00:58:04.613 --> 00:58:06.082 Now, listen, this is very important, 1515 00:58:06.082 --> 00:58:08.150 there's some loose shingles so you gotta be careful. 1516 00:58:08.150 --> 00:58:10.487 I want you to slowly take a few steps forward 1517 00:58:10.487 --> 00:58:11.855 towards the chimney. 1518 00:58:11.855 --> 00:58:13.723 (gasping) 1519 00:58:13.723 --> 00:58:14.923 - Okay. 1520 00:58:14.923 --> 00:58:17.693 - [Chris] Perfect, a little more, good, good. 1521 00:58:17.693 --> 00:58:18.895 (yelling) 1522 00:58:18.895 --> 00:58:20.597 - Hey, I think there's squirrels up here! 1523 00:58:20.597 --> 00:58:22.465 - There probably are, now wait, wait. 1524 00:58:22.465 --> 00:58:24.667 Now, what I need you guys to do is, I need you Johnny, 1525 00:58:24.667 --> 00:58:27.137 I need you to take step to your left just a little bit. 1526 00:58:27.137 --> 00:58:28.638 - Left, okay. (mouse trap clicks) 1527 00:58:28.638 --> 00:58:30.273 - Little more, little more, little more, there you go. 1528 00:58:30.273 --> 00:58:31.740 David, I need you to take a step to your right 1529 00:58:31.740 --> 00:58:33.342 a little bit, little bit, there you go, get right in there, 1530 00:58:33.342 --> 00:58:35.578 yeah, yeah, keep going, okay, good, good. 1531 00:58:35.578 --> 00:58:37.180 Now, boys, you're near the chimney. 1532 00:58:37.180 --> 00:58:39.748 I want you to get down and crawl into the chimney. 1533 00:58:39.748 --> 00:58:40.983 - Crawl in the chimney? 1534 00:58:40.983 --> 00:58:42.252 - Yeah, it's not very far forward, 1535 00:58:42.252 --> 00:58:43.418 but just get down and crawl forward 1536 00:58:43.418 --> 00:58:44.920 a little bit into the chimney. 1537 00:58:46.055 --> 00:58:48.223 - Does Santa do this every Christmas? 1538 00:58:48.223 --> 00:58:49.892 (Dave yells) (audience laughs) 1539 00:58:49.892 --> 00:58:52.828 - [Chris] I'm gonna be honest, he hires it out a lot, okay. 1540 00:58:54.163 --> 00:58:57.200 Good, good, good, now, Davey, I need you, okay good. 1541 00:58:58.668 --> 00:59:00.737 Now, Move forward a little bit, get into the chimney. 1542 00:59:01.703 --> 00:59:03.205 Little bit more, little bit more. 1543 00:59:03.205 --> 00:59:04.440 Come on boys, come one, they don't have all night, 1544 00:59:04.440 --> 00:59:06.175 they're gonna wake up, let's go, lets go, okay. 1545 00:59:06.175 --> 00:59:07.010 (John grunts) 1546 00:59:07.010 --> 00:59:08.077 Good, good, good. 1547 00:59:08.077 --> 00:59:11.547 (mouse traps click) 1548 00:59:11.547 --> 00:59:14.483 Okay, Davey, Johnny, listen to me, this is very important. 1549 00:59:14.483 --> 00:59:15.985 You're a little to far to the right, 1550 00:59:15.985 --> 00:59:19.155 I need you to get to the left as you exit the fire place. 1551 00:59:19.155 --> 00:59:20.357 Get to your left as you exit. 1552 00:59:20.357 --> 00:59:23.225 - I'm so glad we're exiting-- (shouting) 1553 00:59:24.793 --> 00:59:26.728 - [Chris] Guys, there's probably LEGO on the floor 1554 00:59:26.728 --> 00:59:28.197 from the kids. - There's lots of LEGO! 1555 00:59:28.197 --> 00:59:30.300 - I know, okay, to the left, keep going, 1556 00:59:30.300 --> 00:59:32.268 crab walk to the left, you guys got this, keep going, 1557 00:59:32.268 --> 00:59:34.470 little more, just to the left, Davey, 1558 00:59:34.470 --> 00:59:36.572 just to the left, just to the left, Davey. 1559 00:59:36.572 --> 00:59:38.040 - Left, okay. - The other left. 1560 00:59:38.040 --> 00:59:39.542 - We can do this, Dave, we can do this! 1561 00:59:39.542 --> 00:59:42.012 - I know, Santa will be so proud of us. 1562 00:59:42.012 --> 00:59:44.613 - He's gonna be so proud. (grunts) 1563 00:59:44.613 --> 00:59:47.583 - My toe, my toe. - Are you guys okay? 1564 00:59:47.583 --> 00:59:48.785 - Just breathe through it, just breathe through it, 1565 00:59:48.785 --> 00:59:50.320 we can do this. 1566 00:59:50.320 --> 00:59:52.088 - [Chris] A little more to the left, keep going, keep going. 1567 00:59:52.088 --> 00:59:54.823 (Dave yells) (mouse traps click) 1568 00:59:54.823 --> 00:59:56.725 Now, this is very important. 1569 00:59:57.827 --> 01:00:00.663 (audience laughs) 1570 01:00:02.532 --> 01:00:03.700 - John, John, you okay? 1571 01:00:05.668 --> 01:00:08.270 - I think it chopped my toe off! 1572 01:00:08.270 --> 01:00:09.505 (audience laughs) 1573 01:00:09.505 --> 01:00:11.040 - John, we're gonna get through this. 1574 01:00:12.208 --> 01:00:14.110 - Guys, I need you to focus, okay? 1575 01:00:14.110 --> 01:00:15.945 Now listen, there is a dog in the house, 1576 01:00:15.945 --> 01:00:17.513 who is a very light sleeper. 1577 01:00:17.513 --> 01:00:19.048 - Okay. 1578 01:00:19.048 --> 01:00:21.017 - Now, I need you to take this very seriously, okay? 1579 01:00:21.017 --> 01:00:22.485 - Okay. - Okay. 1580 01:00:22.485 --> 01:00:24.620 - There is a small chance that dog will see you, 1581 01:00:24.620 --> 01:00:27.223 if you don't crawl below the doggy gate 1582 01:00:27.223 --> 01:00:29.292 so you gotta make sure you get down real low, 1583 01:00:29.292 --> 01:00:33.763 on your stomachs and army crawl, just a couple feet. 1584 01:00:33.763 --> 01:00:36.732 (mouse traps click) (John yells) 1585 01:00:36.732 --> 01:00:38.167 (yelling) (mouse traps click) 1586 01:00:38.167 --> 01:00:40.370 Down, Davey, down, Davey, crawl, yeah, yeah. 1587 01:00:44.307 --> 01:00:46.575 - Ow! 1588 01:00:46.575 --> 01:00:48.812 (shouting) 1589 01:00:51.647 --> 01:00:53.548 - You guys, I think you passed the doggy gate. 1590 01:00:53.548 --> 01:00:56.618 Now look, I need you to make your way to the living room, 1591 01:00:56.618 --> 01:00:57.953 come forward for me. 1592 01:00:57.953 --> 01:00:59.422 - Can you see the whole blueprint of the house? 1593 01:00:59.422 --> 01:01:01.423 - [Chris] I can see everything. 1594 01:01:01.423 --> 01:01:02.625 (Both grunt) 1595 01:01:02.625 --> 01:01:03.492 You're about 30 percent of the way there. 1596 01:01:03.492 --> 01:01:05.060 - No! - 30! 1597 01:01:05.060 --> 01:01:07.863 - You're okay, okay, look, you guys can stand up now. 1598 01:01:09.032 --> 01:01:10.800 Stand up real quick. - I don't think I can! 1599 01:01:10.800 --> 01:01:13.202 - You can do it, Davey, get up real quick, come on. 1600 01:01:13.202 --> 01:01:14.470 (mouse traps click) 1601 01:01:14.470 --> 01:01:15.938 Good boy, Johnny, waiting on Davey. 1602 01:01:15.938 --> 01:01:18.140 Don't move, you guys are a team, you work together, okay. 1603 01:01:18.140 --> 01:01:19.542 - Come on, buddy. - Come on, Davey. 1604 01:01:19.542 --> 01:01:21.943 - [John] What part of your body is this? 1605 01:01:21.943 --> 01:01:24.080 - My back. - Okay, good (laughs) 1606 01:01:24.080 --> 01:01:25.280 (audience laughs) 1607 01:01:25.280 --> 01:01:27.117 - Up you go, up you go, okay, okay. 1608 01:01:27.117 --> 01:01:30.018 Now look, I need you to pay attention, okay, 1609 01:01:30.018 --> 01:01:32.488 I didn't wanna make you guys nervous, 1610 01:01:32.488 --> 01:01:35.090 but this is actually a pretty famous person's house. 1611 01:01:35.090 --> 01:01:36.825 They have some pressure sensors on the floor, 1612 01:01:36.825 --> 01:01:38.360 but they only go off 1613 01:01:38.360 --> 01:01:40.630 if there is a lot of weight in one spot. 1614 01:01:40.630 --> 01:01:42.165 So what you have to do is 1615 01:01:42.165 --> 01:01:44.167 move your feet around real quick all over the place. 1616 01:01:44.167 --> 01:01:45.635 - Twinkle toes. 1617 01:01:45.635 --> 01:01:46.968 - That's right, to the left, to the right, yeah. 1618 01:01:46.968 --> 01:01:50.640 Big circles, step around in circles, big circles. 1619 01:01:52.040 --> 01:01:55.645 You're so close, good, now, come forward, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1620 01:01:55.645 --> 01:01:58.480 Davey to your left, Johnny to your right, good, good, 1621 01:01:58.480 --> 01:02:00.182 to your left, Davey, to your left, to your left. 1622 01:02:00.182 --> 01:02:01.350 (mouse traps click) (shouting) 1623 01:02:01.350 --> 01:02:02.785 Stop, stop! 1624 01:02:02.785 --> 01:02:03.652 (audience laughs) 1625 01:02:03.652 --> 01:02:04.653 (Dave whines) 1626 01:02:04.653 --> 01:02:06.655 (audience laughs) 1627 01:02:06.655 --> 01:02:07.523 - I wanna go home! 1628 01:02:08.590 --> 01:02:10.058 - You're so close. 1629 01:02:10.058 --> 01:02:11.927 Now, there's a tree, Johnny I need you turn around. 1630 01:02:13.128 --> 01:02:14.130 You're facing the wrong way, Johnny. 1631 01:02:14.130 --> 01:02:15.330 - Don't leave me, Johnny. 1632 01:02:15.330 --> 01:02:17.500 There's a tree in front of you, I need you-- 1633 01:02:17.500 --> 01:02:19.735 (groaning) 1634 01:02:21.603 --> 01:02:23.072 - That was a tender spot. 1635 01:02:23.072 --> 01:02:24.907 - [Chris] I'm sure it was, but listen, 1636 01:02:24.907 --> 01:02:27.042 you're right by the tree, get down on your hands and knees. 1637 01:02:27.042 --> 01:02:29.012 - Okay. (yells) 1638 01:02:31.413 --> 01:02:34.383 Hey, hey, I just realized something! 1639 01:02:34.383 --> 01:02:37.018 I'm Jewish, I don't even celebrate Christmas! 1640 01:02:37.018 --> 01:02:39.088 - It's okay, it's for a good cause. 1641 01:02:39.088 --> 01:02:42.125 Get down, now, don't move forward just get down. 1642 01:02:42.125 --> 01:02:44.193 Davey, you need to get down too, big guy. 1643 01:02:45.360 --> 01:02:46.995 - You get off my back. 1644 01:02:46.995 --> 01:02:48.230 (audience laughs) 1645 01:02:48.230 --> 01:02:49.898 - Don't move forward, don't move forward. 1646 01:02:51.200 --> 01:02:53.302 I need you guys to roll to your left. 1647 01:02:53.302 --> 01:02:54.937 Johnny, just roll to your left. 1648 01:02:54.937 --> 01:02:56.672 - Roll? - Roll to your left. 1649 01:02:56.672 --> 01:02:58.540 (mouse traps click) 1650 01:02:58.540 --> 01:02:59.642 That's great (laughs). 1651 01:03:01.310 --> 01:03:04.213 Just to your left, not forward, just to your left. 1652 01:03:04.213 --> 01:03:05.548 (Dave yells) 1653 01:03:05.548 --> 01:03:06.815 (audience laughs) 1654 01:03:06.815 --> 01:03:08.250 Keep going, there's so much more space 1655 01:03:08.250 --> 01:03:10.385 you gotta come into your left. - I can't get him off! 1656 01:03:10.385 --> 01:03:13.622 - Just roll with him, roll him onto the left, it's okay. 1657 01:03:13.622 --> 01:03:17.125 (Dave yells) (mouse traps click) 1658 01:03:17.125 --> 01:03:18.660 (Dave yells) 1659 01:03:18.660 --> 01:03:21.263 - Okay, okay, good, good, good, boys, focus, focus. 1660 01:03:21.263 --> 01:03:22.398 (Dave yells) (mouse traps click) 1661 01:03:22.398 --> 01:03:24.133 - Stop, stop! 1662 01:03:24.133 --> 01:03:26.235 (audience laughs) 1663 01:03:26.235 --> 01:03:28.737 (John grunts) 1664 01:03:30.973 --> 01:03:32.542 I feel like I'm giving birth! 1665 01:03:32.542 --> 01:03:34.743 (audience laughs) 1666 01:03:34.743 --> 01:03:38.413 - Boys, I need you to focus. 1667 01:03:38.413 --> 01:03:41.150 - Okay, okay, we're almost there, Dave, 1668 01:03:41.150 --> 01:03:42.418 Santa Clause, proud of us! 1669 01:03:42.418 --> 01:03:44.153 - [Chris] I need you to crawl over Davey for me, 1670 01:03:44.153 --> 01:03:46.088 and there's a power bar for the tree. 1671 01:03:46.088 --> 01:03:47.623 We need to light up the tree, 1672 01:03:47.623 --> 01:03:49.558 so it has a Christmas vibe when those kids get up. 1673 01:03:49.558 --> 01:03:50.492 - I feel lit up. (mouse traps click) 1674 01:03:50.492 --> 01:03:52.027 - [Chris] It's okay, I know, 1675 01:03:52.027 --> 01:03:53.462 you look like you're in some pain, but I'm proud of you. 1676 01:03:53.462 --> 01:03:56.365 John, you're not even facing the right way, pivot. 1677 01:03:56.365 --> 01:03:59.602 More, more, more, perfect. (Dave yells) 1678 01:03:59.602 --> 01:04:02.638 He found the power bar, it's okay the trees on. 1679 01:04:02.638 --> 01:04:04.307 Now listen, I need you to grab-- 1680 01:04:04.307 --> 01:04:06.208 - [Dave] Stop, stop, no! 1681 01:04:06.208 --> 01:04:09.212 No, no, no, no, ow, ow, ow, ow! 1682 01:04:11.113 --> 01:04:12.648 No! 1683 01:04:12.648 --> 01:04:13.883 - John. - Yeah? 1684 01:04:13.883 --> 01:04:15.918 - I need you to grab the presents 1685 01:04:15.918 --> 01:04:17.987 off Dave's back in the knapsack, okay? 1686 01:04:17.987 --> 01:04:20.288 - Yep. (groans) 1687 01:04:20.288 --> 01:04:22.625 (audience laughs) 1688 01:04:22.625 --> 01:04:24.927 - [Chris] Be quiet or the dogs gonna hear you. 1689 01:04:24.927 --> 01:04:26.828 - Shh, we're almost through. 1690 01:04:26.828 --> 01:04:29.998 I unzipped it, I think it's an Etch A Sketch. 1691 01:04:29.998 --> 01:04:33.302 - [Chris] It probably is, Santa's cheap. 1692 01:04:33.302 --> 01:04:34.837 now, what I need you to do is, 1693 01:04:34.837 --> 01:04:37.407 put it under the tree carefully. 1694 01:04:37.407 --> 01:04:38.673 - Where's the tree? - It's right in front of you. 1695 01:04:38.673 --> 01:04:40.142 I need you to get on your hands and knees, 1696 01:04:40.142 --> 01:04:41.610 and crawl under the tree. 1697 01:04:41.610 --> 01:04:44.113 Don't disturb the lights, it's very well decorated, okay? 1698 01:04:44.113 --> 01:04:46.348 (Dave yells) 1699 01:04:46.348 --> 01:04:47.817 - Hold on, Dave, I got the present. 1700 01:04:47.817 --> 01:04:49.285 - [Chris] Now, wait, this is very important, 1701 01:04:49.285 --> 01:04:50.987 don't move yet, Dave. 1702 01:04:50.987 --> 01:04:53.822 (audience laughs) 1703 01:04:54.723 --> 01:04:56.225 - Chris, you there? 1704 01:04:56.225 --> 01:04:57.527 (audience laughs) 1705 01:04:57.527 --> 01:04:59.628 - It was a bird! 1706 01:04:59.628 --> 01:05:00.863 Now, what I need you to do, Dave, 1707 01:05:00.863 --> 01:05:02.665 is I need you to move to your left. 1708 01:05:02.665 --> 01:05:04.033 This is very important, Dave. 1709 01:05:04.033 --> 01:05:05.500 Before John does anything, 1710 01:05:05.500 --> 01:05:06.668 move to your left you need to get out of the way. 1711 01:05:06.668 --> 01:05:08.170 All the way to the left, as far as you can. 1712 01:05:08.170 --> 01:05:09.938 Not forward, just to your left. 1713 01:05:09.938 --> 01:05:11.340 Just to your left, way over. 1714 01:05:11.340 --> 01:05:13.175 You got like 10 feet to go to your left. 1715 01:05:13.175 --> 01:05:14.677 Not forward, just left. 1716 01:05:14.677 --> 01:05:16.212 You can do it, Dave. 1717 01:05:16.212 --> 01:05:18.513 It's only three o'clock in the morning, we got time. 1718 01:05:18.513 --> 01:05:20.082 That's good, that's good, perfect! 1719 01:05:20.082 --> 01:05:22.318 Now, Johnny, move forward and to your left a little bit. 1720 01:05:22.318 --> 01:05:24.253 - Okay, 'cause I got the Etch A Sketch right here. 1721 01:05:24.253 --> 01:05:25.187 - You have the Etch A Sketch, good. 1722 01:05:25.187 --> 01:05:26.888 Now, Davey, stay out of the way. 1723 01:05:26.888 --> 01:05:27.823 John, I need you to place that 1724 01:05:27.823 --> 01:05:29.292 under the tree very carefully. 1725 01:05:30.627 --> 01:05:31.460 - [Dave] Ow, oh! 1726 01:05:31.460 --> 01:05:32.628 (audience laughs) 1727 01:05:32.628 --> 01:05:33.997 - [John] Look how quiet I'm being though. 1728 01:05:33.997 --> 01:05:36.098 - Now, there's a lot of fake snow 1729 01:05:36.098 --> 01:05:37.667 around the bottom of the tree, 1730 01:05:37.667 --> 01:05:39.902 You guys disturbed it, so I need you to pack it down, John. 1731 01:05:39.902 --> 01:05:42.505 Just slap around as much as you can. 1732 01:05:42.505 --> 01:05:44.540 All over (laughs), to the right, to the left, 1733 01:05:44.540 --> 01:05:46.008 way in front of you, all around. 1734 01:05:46.008 --> 01:05:48.610 There's so much more snow you need to pack down. 1735 01:05:48.610 --> 01:05:50.145 Keep going, keep going, you're so close. 1736 01:05:50.145 --> 01:05:52.782 Oh, Davey, oh, you're right there. 1737 01:05:52.782 --> 01:05:56.085 Oh, oh, Davey, okay, now, guys, 1738 01:05:58.420 --> 01:06:00.555 The snow is beautifully packed. 1739 01:06:00.555 --> 01:06:02.057 The present is under the tree. 1740 01:06:02.057 --> 01:06:04.760 I'm gonna send in two drones 1741 01:06:04.760 --> 01:06:07.397 to teleport you out using Santa's magic. 1742 01:06:07.397 --> 01:06:08.663 And come to think of it, 1743 01:06:08.663 --> 01:06:11.067 we probably coulda use them to teleport you in, 1744 01:06:11.067 --> 01:06:12.067 (audience laughs) 1745 01:06:12.067 --> 01:06:13.335 But that's irrelevant now, 1746 01:06:13.335 --> 01:06:15.137 we're gonna use them to teleport you out, okay? 1747 01:06:15.137 --> 01:06:16.238 - Okay, sure! - Are you ready? 1748 01:06:16.238 --> 01:06:17.773 - Yeah. 1749 01:06:17.773 --> 01:06:19.075 - Okay, ready, boys? - Yeah. 1750 01:06:19.075 --> 01:06:21.477 (mouse traps click) 1751 01:06:21.477 --> 01:06:24.180 Thank you, I am so proud of you for helping Santa. 1752 01:06:24.180 --> 01:06:27.583 (audience cheers and applauds) 1753 01:06:27.583 --> 01:06:30.887 That deserves a lot, that deserves a lot. 1754 01:06:30.887 --> 01:06:34.890 (audience cheers and applauds) 1755 01:06:40.362 --> 01:06:41.597 - That hurt. 1756 01:06:41.597 --> 01:06:43.198 - [Chris] I'm really proud of you guys. 1757 01:06:43.198 --> 01:06:44.300 Yeah, that hurts, eh? 1758 01:06:44.300 --> 01:06:45.667 - Yeah. (laughs) 1759 01:06:45.667 --> 01:06:47.002 - It's tough, but we did it. 1760 01:06:47.002 --> 01:06:48.337 - Yeah, that's right. 1761 01:06:50.005 --> 01:06:51.440 - All right. 1762 01:06:51.440 --> 01:06:52.375 - [Audience Member] You're missing an eyeball! 1763 01:06:52.375 --> 01:06:54.110 Did you guys have fun tonight? 1764 01:06:54.110 --> 01:06:57.413 (audience cheers) 1765 01:06:57.413 --> 01:06:59.715 Did we raise money for a good cause? 1766 01:06:59.715 --> 01:07:02.452 (audience cheers) 1767 01:07:02.452 --> 01:07:06.722 all right, very good, we wanna thank all the volunteers 1768 01:07:06.722 --> 01:07:09.125 who helped us out, we want to thank the Vernon 1769 01:07:09.125 --> 01:07:12.728 and District Performing Arts Center! 1770 01:07:12.728 --> 01:07:17.065 (audience cheers and applauds) 1771 01:07:17.065 --> 01:07:19.935 Thanks, everybody, we love you so much! 1772 01:07:19.935 --> 01:07:21.570 We'll see you at the back. 1773 01:07:21.570 --> 01:07:24.140 (upbeat music) 1774 01:07:25.040 --> 01:07:27.075 - I like the one where the 1775 01:07:27.075 --> 01:07:28.977 two gentlemen and two women went up on stage 1776 01:07:28.977 --> 01:07:30.445 and had to act out, 1777 01:07:30.445 --> 01:07:32.548 and they had to guess what the lines were. 1778 01:07:35.785 --> 01:07:38.187 - Well, you know, the favorite part of the show was 1779 01:07:38.187 --> 01:07:42.057 I guess the whole thing, they held the audience very well. 1780 01:07:43.492 --> 01:07:46.062 (upbeat music) 1781 01:07:54.068 --> 01:07:54.903 - [Interviewer] And would you come back 1782 01:07:54.903 --> 01:07:56.005 to another Fidgets show? 1783 01:07:56.005 --> 01:07:58.173 - Yes - Definitely. 1784 01:07:58.173 --> 01:08:00.777 (upbeat music)