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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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So, stick with me here.
4
00:00:36,461 --> 00:00:39,398
I know y'all came to see
a comedy about the Blacks,
5
00:00:39,431 --> 00:00:42,200
everyone's favorite family
with the perfect daughter
6
00:00:42,234 --> 00:00:44,503
that somehow survived
Terror Night.
7
00:00:46,471 --> 00:00:49,608
You didn't sign up to see
some Egyptians open an evil box
8
00:00:49,642 --> 00:00:52,912
and a bat flap his ass
across an Indiana Jones map.
9
00:00:52,945 --> 00:00:56,615
Trust me,
it'll all make sense later.
10
00:00:56,649 --> 00:00:58,350
Well, since we last met,
11
00:00:58,383 --> 00:01:00,787
Dad wrote a bestseller
based on Terror Night.
12
00:01:00,820 --> 00:01:02,789
But then Dad and Cronut
blew that money
13
00:01:02,822 --> 00:01:05,457
faster than a rapper
at a strip club.
14
00:01:05,490 --> 00:01:08,628
We're back in Atlanta.
15
00:01:08,661 --> 00:01:10,429
And Dad's writin' the sequel,
16
00:01:10,462 --> 00:01:12,799
and we were just getting used
to being back home
17
00:01:12,832 --> 00:01:16,301
when this very bat
flew into our lives.
18
00:01:16,334 --> 00:01:18,403
Seriously, pray for us, y'all.
19
00:02:05,852 --> 00:02:07,787
We're back
on the GGN News Network.
20
00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:10,555
I'm your host with the most,
Finding Nemo, aka Nemo Hoser.
21
00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:12,892
Today on my show,
I got a very special guest,
22
00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:17,429
the one and only, the author Carl
Black in the motherfucking house.
23
00:02:17,462 --> 00:02:18,765
Mr. Black,
what's happening?
24
00:02:18,798 --> 00:02:20,532
Snoop!
How are you, man?
25
00:02:20,565 --> 00:02:22,300
I'm good, Carl.
How you doin' today, brother?
26
00:02:22,334 --> 00:02:23,602
I'm excited, man.
27
00:02:23,636 --> 00:02:25,370
I got this new book
coming out.
28
00:02:25,403 --> 00:02:27,740
It's called Terror Night.
Mm. I wrote it.
29
00:02:27,774 --> 00:02:28,741
It's from my heart.
30
00:02:28,775 --> 00:02:30,076
This is my baby.
31
00:02:30,109 --> 00:02:31,944
What makes this book
a great read
32
00:02:31,978 --> 00:02:33,846
for the average nigga
sitting at home doing nothing?
33
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:38,017
You know, most Black people
know about terror.
34
00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:39,719
Mr. Black, I'm forced
to tell you the truth.
35
00:02:39,752 --> 00:02:41,888
It is an easy read.
Real easy.
36
00:02:41,921 --> 00:02:43,555
What you mean by that?
37
00:02:43,588 --> 00:02:46,025
"There was
a Black man that..."
38
00:02:46,058 --> 00:02:47,794
That's bullshit, Snoop.
39
00:02:47,827 --> 00:02:49,494
Go get my book.
It's called Terror Night.
40
00:02:51,664 --> 00:02:53,365
All right. All right. All right.
That's enough Terror Night.
41
00:02:53,398 --> 00:02:54,934
All right. All right.
All right. Thank you.
42
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,936
Now we got a real guest
coming up on the show.
43
00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,038
Make some noise for the
one and only Matt Barnes.
44
00:02:59,071 --> 00:03:00,940
Snoop, what's going on, man?
Thanks for having me.
45
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,374
Matt!
46
00:03:02,407 --> 00:03:04,010
- Who's that?
- Terror Night.
47
00:03:04,043 --> 00:03:06,578
- Ah, this is Carl Black.
- This book is j... Carl Black, man.
48
00:03:06,611 --> 00:03:08,547
You know me.
I wrote Terror Night.
49
00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:10,049
- You read that book?
- The book is crazy.
50
00:03:10,082 --> 00:03:11,651
You're gonna love it,
man. And...
51
00:03:11,684 --> 00:03:13,019
That book was terrible.
52
00:03:13,052 --> 00:03:15,353
One of the worst books
I ever read.
53
00:03:15,387 --> 00:03:16,956
You must be havin' a bad day today.
It's a good book, man.
54
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,691
- Nah. It's just a bad book.
- Hey, you should...
55
00:03:18,724 --> 00:03:20,760
- Fuck you.
- Fuck you and that book.
56
00:03:20,793 --> 00:03:22,929
I'm gonna get the fucking fuck.
57
00:03:24,429 --> 00:03:25,698
That nigga's excited.
58
00:03:41,814 --> 00:03:44,449
Okay.
Just don't. Here.
59
00:04:09,175 --> 00:04:10,076
Hey.
60
00:04:11,443 --> 00:04:12,444
Hey!
61
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:15,781
Hey!
62
00:04:15,815 --> 00:04:17,049
What are you doin'?
63
00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:18,818
We're practicing
for the Migos' tour.
64
00:04:18,851 --> 00:04:20,653
The streets need us.
65
00:04:20,686 --> 00:04:22,054
The streets
don't need yo ass.
66
00:04:22,088 --> 00:04:24,724
And stop makin'
all that damn noise.
67
00:04:24,757 --> 00:04:26,524
- Frickin' old guys!
- And stop playing!
68
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:27,592
Again from the top.
Ready?
69
00:04:29,494 --> 00:04:30,830
I'm gonna kick your ass.
70
00:04:30,863 --> 00:04:32,698
Give me the phone!
Cut if off!
71
00:04:32,732 --> 00:04:34,934
- Dad, come on.
- Cut it off! I'm trying to write.
72
00:04:34,967 --> 00:04:36,869
You messed it up again! I bet...
73
00:04:39,138 --> 00:04:40,472
Go.
74
00:04:40,505 --> 00:04:42,141
Daddy, get out!
75
00:04:42,174 --> 00:04:43,943
- Out.
- Hey! Girl, you better stop throwin' shit.
76
00:04:43,976 --> 00:04:46,478
- Go! Shut up!
- I peed in that bed last night.
77
00:04:57,555 --> 00:04:59,524
You know,
I didn't escape the Purge
78
00:04:59,557 --> 00:05:02,662
so somebody would be breakin'
in my fuckin' house!
79
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:19,178
Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Man, come on, bro.
80
00:05:19,211 --> 00:05:21,847
- What's wrong with you?
- Come on, bro.
81
00:05:21,881 --> 00:05:24,750
- Goddamn!
- What's wrong with you?
82
00:05:24,784 --> 00:05:26,786
Goddamn.
Why are you so jumpy?
83
00:05:26,819 --> 00:05:29,521
Yeah, 'cause maybe somebody tried to
break in my house and kill me before.
84
00:05:29,554 --> 00:05:31,556
What you doin' creepin' around
my house this late at night?
85
00:05:31,589 --> 00:05:33,893
The lights in the RV went out.
I had to get some flashlights.
86
00:05:33,926 --> 00:05:36,062
- Some flashlights?
- Not just flashlight.
87
00:05:36,095 --> 00:05:37,997
Purge lights!
You feel me?
88
00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:39,999
You know about these.
Did I tell you about 'em?
89
00:05:40,032 --> 00:05:42,068
You don't need no battery.
That means you crank it right up.
90
00:05:42,101 --> 00:05:43,703
- Just like this.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, man.
91
00:05:43,736 --> 00:05:45,004
- What? What?
- Hey, hey.
92
00:05:45,037 --> 00:05:47,605
Get rid of that janky shit!
Stop orderin' it.
93
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,709
Y'all run around here ballin'
and spendin' money,
94
00:05:49,742 --> 00:05:52,111
leavin' the lights on,
runnin' water,
95
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:54,579
like there's money
growin' on the tree.
96
00:05:54,612 --> 00:05:56,882
- I don't have no more money.
- 'Cause you ain't selling no goddamn books.
97
00:05:56,916 --> 00:05:59,852
If you sell some goddamn books,
we can goddamn sell these bitches.
98
00:05:59,885 --> 00:06:03,022
- And why're you broke? Huh?
- Get your ass out of here.
99
00:06:03,055 --> 00:06:04,156
Hey, man.
What the fuck, man?
100
00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:06,926
Stop holding me
like a side bitch.
101
00:06:06,959 --> 00:06:09,028
- What's you tripping off of?
- This is the reason right here.
102
00:06:09,061 --> 00:06:12,798
'Cause I can't imagine
why I let you talk me
103
00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:14,834
into spending
my money on this shit.
104
00:06:14,867 --> 00:06:16,534
It's all part
of the business plan, cuz.
105
00:06:16,568 --> 00:06:18,170
No, no, no.
The business plan
106
00:06:18,204 --> 00:06:19,839
is the reason why
Lorena is out
107
00:06:19,872 --> 00:06:22,775
busting her ass
to wipe my old ass.
108
00:06:22,808 --> 00:06:24,176
Don't nobody want
to hear about me
109
00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:26,212
moving back
into my old neighborhood
110
00:06:26,245 --> 00:06:28,613
while my cousin livin' in an RV
in the back of my house.
111
00:06:30,716 --> 00:06:32,818
What the fuck
is going on over there, man?
112
00:06:32,852 --> 00:06:34,687
Some crackheads.
113
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,122
Next door at the old
Marsten house.
114
00:06:36,155 --> 00:06:38,257
They must be squattin'
or somethin'.
115
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:39,792
- Don't forget the...
- Nah. They live there.
116
00:06:39,825 --> 00:06:42,028
I seen 'em move in,
but the crazy part is
117
00:06:42,061 --> 00:06:44,263
all the windows are boarded.
118
00:06:44,296 --> 00:06:46,799
They only come out
at nighttime.
119
00:06:46,832 --> 00:06:48,801
Yeah. Who would move
in a place
120
00:06:48,834 --> 00:06:50,803
with a house that's boarded up like that?
121
00:06:50,836 --> 00:06:52,171
And when did they move in?
122
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,806
Yeah. They got in
like a week ago.
123
00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:55,274
- What the fuck?
- Snitch, Snitch,
124
00:06:55,307 --> 00:06:57,109
- where you at?
- Yeah. I watched 'em do it.
125
00:06:57,143 --> 00:06:59,178
They moved in, man.
126
00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:01,247
I see everything.
127
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,983
I know you with the neighborhood
watch and everything, but man...
128
00:07:04,016 --> 00:07:06,052
it's getting
a little creepy, man.
129
00:07:06,085 --> 00:07:08,220
All right, ladies, in we go. Your coupe is here.
130
00:07:08,254 --> 00:07:10,122
- Did you hear that?
- Shhh...
131
00:07:10,156 --> 00:07:11,757
That's some crazy shit.
132
00:07:19,198 --> 00:07:22,802
Somethin' strange
goin' on in that house.
133
00:07:30,209 --> 00:07:31,343
I'm gone.
134
00:07:41,654 --> 00:07:44,857
You will be mine...
135
00:07:44,890 --> 00:07:46,959
unconditionally.
136
00:07:56,368 --> 00:07:59,004
Baby, I think some new people
just moved in next door.
137
00:07:59,038 --> 00:08:01,974
Oh, baby. Leave
those people alone, babe.
138
00:08:02,007 --> 00:08:04,176
Go back to sleep.
139
00:08:21,927 --> 00:08:23,796
This refrigerator's filthy!
140
00:08:25,764 --> 00:08:27,833
- Appreciate shit.
- Ahem.
141
00:08:28,968 --> 00:08:30,436
What are you doing
here, Cronut?
142
00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:32,071
I had to get some milk
for my cereal.
143
00:08:32,104 --> 00:08:34,306
I ran out in the RV.
144
00:08:34,340 --> 00:08:36,242
The door's locked
for a reason.
145
00:08:36,275 --> 00:08:37,810
Who messed up that damn toilet?
146
00:08:37,843 --> 00:08:39,745
Hey, what the fuck
you doin' in here?
147
00:08:39,778 --> 00:08:41,413
Eating breakfast.
What it look like I'm doin'?
148
00:08:41,447 --> 00:08:42,982
You ain't supposed
to be here in the mornings.
149
00:08:43,015 --> 00:08:44,316
You told me I could
come in on Tuesdays.
150
00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:45,684
I'm about sick of your shit.
151
00:08:45,718 --> 00:08:47,720
It's light wheat.
152
00:08:47,753 --> 00:08:49,421
Stay out of the toilet.
153
00:08:49,455 --> 00:08:51,357
You know there's a serial
killer living next door.
154
00:08:51,390 --> 00:08:53,726
God, this boy run
his damn mouth too much.
155
00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:56,829
Hey, Carl, Carl.
Check this shit out, bro.
156
00:08:56,862 --> 00:08:58,764
...the death of Chante Webster.
157
00:08:58,797 --> 00:09:02,101
Her badly mutilated corpse
was found inside a dumpster
158
00:09:02,134 --> 00:09:06,238
behind Gus's Chicken and
Waffles on Indian Hill Road.
159
00:09:06,272 --> 00:09:07,940
They found that body
right around the corner.
160
00:09:07,973 --> 00:09:09,708
This is the sixth incident
161
00:09:09,742 --> 00:09:12,778
in a vicious string
of kidnapping and murders,
162
00:09:12,811 --> 00:09:17,216
all of which were either
African-American or Mexican.
163
00:09:17,249 --> 00:09:19,952
Racially motivated?
Perhaps.
164
00:09:19,985 --> 00:09:22,855
This is exactly why we need to
move out of this neighborhood.
165
00:09:22,888 --> 00:09:24,857
- Move? Again?
- Yes, move.
166
00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:26,759
And when we say "move,"
167
00:09:26,792 --> 00:09:29,128
- that means us.
- Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
168
00:09:29,161 --> 00:09:30,963
Uh, hey... hey.
No thinkin' for you, okay?
169
00:09:30,996 --> 00:09:32,364
What about what we saw
last night?
170
00:09:32,398 --> 00:09:34,400
Okay, I don't have time
for this, Carl.
171
00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:36,835
I got to go to work.
I'm going to be working a double tonight,
172
00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:38,270
so you're on your own
for dinner.
173
00:09:38,304 --> 00:09:41,173
What about what we seen
with the neighbors, bro?
174
00:09:43,309 --> 00:09:44,743
You better do what she say.
175
00:09:44,777 --> 00:09:45,878
Fuck you up.
176
00:09:45,911 --> 00:09:47,379
She payin' the bills
around here.
177
00:09:47,413 --> 00:09:50,316
Hey, babe. Don't pay
no attention to Cronut.
178
00:09:50,349 --> 00:09:52,017
He's just a dumbass.
179
00:09:52,051 --> 00:09:54,053
He's a neglected Chihuahua.
180
00:09:54,086 --> 00:09:55,788
Carl, I'm not happy here.
181
00:09:55,821 --> 00:09:58,023
- Listen...
- This was supposed to be temporary, Carl.
182
00:09:58,057 --> 00:10:00,025
We were supposed
to be here until you got
183
00:10:00,059 --> 00:10:01,360
- your money going.
- Money.
184
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:04,096
- You wrote your book.
- It's gonna work.
185
00:10:04,129 --> 00:10:06,432
That developer came
around again other day.
186
00:10:06,465 --> 00:10:09,835
He can make us a really good
offer on your mom's house.
187
00:10:09,868 --> 00:10:11,870
We can move
to a safer place.
188
00:10:11,904 --> 00:10:14,974
I can be happy.
Happy wife, happy what?
189
00:10:15,007 --> 00:10:17,142
- Happy wife.
- Happy life.
190
00:10:17,176 --> 00:10:19,278
The guy's a fuckin'
vulture. Okay?
191
00:10:19,311 --> 00:10:21,080
He wants to move
in this neighborhood
192
00:10:21,113 --> 00:10:23,849
so he can take it over and turn
it into a fuckin' strip mall.
193
00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:26,018
Do you understand
what I'm sayin'? Okay?
194
00:10:26,051 --> 00:10:27,820
It's called...
it's called gingivitis.
195
00:10:27,853 --> 00:10:29,221
Gentrification!
196
00:10:29,255 --> 00:10:30,256
Shut up, Cronut!
197
00:10:30,289 --> 00:10:32,391
Stupid dumbass nigga.
198
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,493
Once we move out of here, who cares
what they do to the neighborhood?
199
00:10:34,526 --> 00:10:37,496
Just promise me that today you're
going to look at this and consider it.
200
00:10:37,529 --> 00:10:39,298
I'm... I'm gonna
think about it.
201
00:10:39,331 --> 00:10:41,200
I appreciate it.
202
00:10:41,233 --> 00:10:44,803
Up next, I survived
a hammer to the head
203
00:10:44,837 --> 00:10:47,306
and a boot to the face.
204
00:10:47,339 --> 00:10:49,441
Somethin' fucked-up went
down in that house last night.
205
00:10:49,475 --> 00:10:50,843
You think that was
a dead body?
206
00:10:50,876 --> 00:10:52,911
Would you stop?
It's already hard enough
207
00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:55,381
you got all this crazy
shit in my wife's head.
208
00:10:55,414 --> 00:10:58,517
And no!
I did not see a body.
209
00:10:58,550 --> 00:11:01,253
I think my first instinct is
like, there's dead body in there.
210
00:11:01,287 --> 00:11:03,956
But... Oh, there's a nice
one over there.
211
00:11:17,236 --> 00:11:18,237
No.
212
00:11:22,308 --> 00:11:24,076
Hey, hey, hey! No!
213
00:11:24,109 --> 00:11:25,944
Why you cock-blocking?
She need me.
214
00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:27,846
This could be
my old lady, man.
215
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,316
- She's already married.
- You know I've been in the penitentiary.
216
00:11:30,349 --> 00:11:31,984
- Let me just live, brother.
- Okay.
217
00:11:32,017 --> 00:11:34,386
You've been to prison
two years ago for 10 days
218
00:11:34,420 --> 00:11:35,988
for drinkin' and drivin'.
219
00:11:36,021 --> 00:11:38,023
And you're
a "gangster drinker."
220
00:11:38,057 --> 00:11:40,159
I'm just gonna go over there and just...
just rap a tad to her.
221
00:11:40,192 --> 00:11:41,593
- I'm gonna go. What's up, baby?
- Cronut.
222
00:11:43,462 --> 00:11:46,532
He about to shoot that
midget sperm in that girl.
223
00:11:46,565 --> 00:11:48,434
Bunny! Shit.
224
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,536
Baby, I told you,
you got to get a new wheelchair.
225
00:11:50,569 --> 00:11:52,171
- You got new wheelchair money?
- Ugh!
226
00:11:53,605 --> 00:11:55,240
- I'm sorry, Bunny.
- It's okay.
227
00:11:55,274 --> 00:11:56,875
I didn't mean
to snap at you.
228
00:11:56,909 --> 00:11:58,377
If my penis worked,
I'd make love to you right now.
229
00:11:58,410 --> 00:12:00,212
- I'd hit it from the back.
- I know you would.
230
00:12:00,245 --> 00:12:02,448
Marky Mark style
from Boogie Nights.
231
00:12:02,481 --> 00:12:04,516
Hey! Stay off
my property!
232
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:06,051
What's up, Clive?
233
00:12:06,085 --> 00:12:07,386
Shouldn't you be makin' up
some bullshit
234
00:12:07,419 --> 00:12:09,054
or whatever else you
do you call work?
235
00:12:10,122 --> 00:12:13,292
You know my husband don't like
you guys comin' over here.
236
00:12:13,325 --> 00:12:14,560
But I like seein' you guys.
237
00:12:14,593 --> 00:12:16,128
What you been up to?
238
00:12:16,161 --> 00:12:17,563
You been rollin' around
this neighborhood
239
00:12:17,596 --> 00:12:20,466
or you just being
kickin' it around?
240
00:12:20,499 --> 00:12:22,601
- Funny, motherfucker!
- Kickin' it!
241
00:12:22,635 --> 00:12:25,003
What are you doing,
writin' your next bestseller?
242
00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:27,473
Who're you trying to be?
New Alex Haley?
243
00:12:27,506 --> 00:12:31,343
Steve Harvey? You gonna try
to make a book into a movie?
244
00:12:31,377 --> 00:12:33,345
You see Think Like a Man?
Think Like a Man 2?
245
00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:34,279
Sucked!
246
00:12:35,214 --> 00:12:37,583
Pootie Tang blew those
two out the water.
247
00:12:37,616 --> 00:12:39,385
Okay, yeah,
I'm writin' a book.
248
00:12:39,418 --> 00:12:41,954
When is
your next marathon, huh?
249
00:12:41,987 --> 00:12:44,323
You gonna help me
tend to my garden?
250
00:12:44,356 --> 00:12:46,392
I'll tend the shit out
of that garden.
251
00:12:46,425 --> 00:12:48,994
Tend more than the garden.
I will bend you over in there. I mean...
252
00:12:49,027 --> 00:12:50,229
So, I have carrots.
253
00:12:50,262 --> 00:12:52,297
I got a carrot.
With a fat head.
254
00:12:52,331 --> 00:12:53,666
What's up with that house
right there?
255
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:55,968
What's up with them people
that live in there?
256
00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:58,705
I know you can't see
with them thick-ass glasses.
257
00:12:58,738 --> 00:13:00,072
You know
what these eyes have seen?
258
00:13:00,105 --> 00:13:01,140
Yeah, these nuts.
259
00:13:01,173 --> 00:13:02,574
I've been in three wars.
260
00:13:02,608 --> 00:13:04,476
- How you think I got Bunny?
- The government.
261
00:13:04,510 --> 00:13:06,512
That little check you get every
month, she's takin' it.
262
00:13:06,545 --> 00:13:08,614
- I saw into her soul.
- Damn.
263
00:13:08,648 --> 00:13:11,250
I see that little man right there with
the 8th-grade body talkin' to my wife.
264
00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:12,317
You don't think
I see that?
265
00:13:12,351 --> 00:13:13,452
I saw you catch gonorrhea,
baby...
266
00:13:13,485 --> 00:13:14,721
You better watch
your fuckin' mouth!
267
00:13:14,754 --> 00:13:16,388
- Watch your mouth, man!
- I wish you would.
268
00:13:16,422 --> 00:13:18,190
I wish you...
I've been waiting on this.
269
00:13:18,223 --> 00:13:19,992
Why would you kick me in the leg
270
00:13:20,025 --> 00:13:22,428
- where I can't feel it?
- I know you can't... can't feel it.
271
00:13:22,461 --> 00:13:24,596
Come on. You ain't the first
Black guy I got in a fight with.
272
00:13:24,631 --> 00:13:26,733
I can't feel my legs, Carl.
Hit me in the face.
273
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,301
You little bitch.
274
00:13:29,334 --> 00:13:31,203
All day, every day.
275
00:13:31,236 --> 00:13:34,139
Listen, man. Somethin' ain't
right at that house, Carl.
276
00:13:34,173 --> 00:13:35,507
They moved
in the middle of night.
277
00:13:35,541 --> 00:13:37,744
There's never any movement
during the day.
278
00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:39,746
- Yeah.
- Lazy shits won't answer the door,
279
00:13:39,779 --> 00:13:41,046
had a package dropped off.
280
00:13:41,079 --> 00:13:42,981
Mailman brought it
over to me,
281
00:13:43,015 --> 00:13:45,117
sittin' on the front
porch right now.
282
00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:48,187
Hey, Bunny! Come get
that package from Africa!
283
00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:49,488
Hey, Bunny!
284
00:13:49,521 --> 00:13:51,290
Get that package
over there on the back porch.
285
00:13:51,323 --> 00:13:53,058
- I wouldn't. I wouldn't.
- You might get on...
286
00:13:53,091 --> 00:13:54,526
- You feel that, Carl?
- Okay. Let my arm go.
287
00:13:56,361 --> 00:13:57,630
- Let my arm go.
- Let my cousin... aw!
288
00:13:57,664 --> 00:13:58,731
- It fucking hurts.
- Hey.
289
00:13:58,765 --> 00:14:00,733
Let it go!
That shit hurt.
290
00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:03,135
Dang, you got some
upper body strength.
291
00:14:03,168 --> 00:14:05,204
There it is.
Look at that... Africa.
292
00:14:05,237 --> 00:14:07,206
Africa.
Wrapped in velvet.
293
00:14:16,381 --> 00:14:18,283
I'm gonna take it
over there myself.
294
00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:20,720
Cronut...
Cronut!
295
00:14:20,753 --> 00:14:22,722
Why you give him
the fuckin' package?!
296
00:14:22,755 --> 00:14:26,258
It's like we're living across the
street from Diff'rent Strokes.
297
00:14:26,291 --> 00:14:28,560
- Hey, hey, hey. Give me the package, man.
- What the shit?
298
00:14:28,594 --> 00:14:29,995
Cronut!
299
00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:33,499
See? You happy?
300
00:14:35,601 --> 00:14:37,704
You got me runnin' around here,
fightin' motherfuckers and shit...
301
00:14:37,737 --> 00:14:41,373
- I can't do this, man.
- Fuck this, I gotta find out.
302
00:14:41,406 --> 00:14:44,510
- Hey, hey, hey...
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey my ass.
303
00:14:44,543 --> 00:14:45,645
Get it. Get it.
304
00:15:02,729 --> 00:15:05,665
What can I do to... I mean,
for you, gentlemen?
305
00:15:05,698 --> 00:15:07,299
Nigga, we saw you transporting
dead bodies last night.
306
00:15:07,332 --> 00:15:09,434
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, man.
Shut the fuck up.
307
00:15:09,468 --> 00:15:10,770
We did.
308
00:15:10,803 --> 00:15:13,405
You not see me
transport any dead bodies.
309
00:15:13,438 --> 00:15:16,208
We standin' in front of a
chocolate vampire-type nigga.
310
00:15:16,241 --> 00:15:19,611
Sir, and this my little cousin,
Cronut, he's a little retarded.
311
00:15:19,646 --> 00:15:21,748
- Slow as fuck.
- He needs special attention.
312
00:15:21,781 --> 00:15:24,516
- He's on Ritalin, prednisone, and all kind of shit.
- Everything.
313
00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:27,119
This is Dr. Mamuwalde's
residence.
314
00:15:27,152 --> 00:15:29,254
Mama... Mama who?
315
00:15:29,288 --> 00:15:30,489
Ma-mu-wal-day.
316
00:15:30,522 --> 00:15:32,524
- How you pronounce that?
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
317
00:15:32,558 --> 00:15:34,526
Mamuwal...
318
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:35,862
Ma-mu-wal-day.
319
00:15:35,895 --> 00:15:38,765
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
- Ma-mwa-wal-di.
320
00:15:38,798 --> 00:15:40,365
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
- Ma-mwa-wal-di.
321
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:41,734
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
- Ma-mwa-wal-di.
322
00:15:41,768 --> 00:15:43,135
- Fix your mouth.
- All right, all right.
323
00:15:43,168 --> 00:15:44,771
- Excuse me.
- Your mama, nigga.
324
00:15:44,804 --> 00:15:47,707
I am Monty. I just
rent a room here.
325
00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:51,109
And I assure you,
you have seen no bodies.
326
00:15:51,143 --> 00:15:52,779
Pleasure to make
your acquaintance.
327
00:15:52,812 --> 00:15:55,213
Nigga, we saw you transport them
goddamn dead bodies in the back.
328
00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:57,583
- If you don't shut the fuck...
- Where you from, bro?
329
00:15:57,616 --> 00:16:00,218
- Hey, man, stop! Sir...
- What?
330
00:16:00,252 --> 00:16:02,521
Mr. Black, do you have
business here?
331
00:16:02,554 --> 00:16:05,223
No. I don't have no business here.
We just wanted to come through and say hey
332
00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,826
and make sure
everything was cool.
333
00:16:06,859 --> 00:16:08,493
Why wouldn't it be cool?
334
00:16:09,762 --> 00:16:11,664
- Excuse me?
- Why wouldn't it be?
335
00:16:11,698 --> 00:16:15,668
Because y'all moving in this
motherfucking house at 12:00 at night.
336
00:16:15,702 --> 00:16:17,704
There's people
sleeping around here.
337
00:16:17,737 --> 00:16:21,573
You got crackheads back there
sunbathing into fucking midnight.
338
00:16:23,575 --> 00:16:25,377
Bye, bitch!
339
00:16:25,410 --> 00:16:27,579
Hey, come on.
Get your ass...
340
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:31,851
I'm gonna drop a dime
on you motherfuckers.
341
00:16:31,884 --> 00:16:35,253
You happy you done made me waste
a whole day on some bullshit?
342
00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:37,222
- Hey, man. Just fall back.
- Fall back for what?
343
00:16:37,255 --> 00:16:38,357
What you got to say now?
344
00:16:38,390 --> 00:16:39,759
You don't think
that shit weird?
345
00:16:40,927 --> 00:16:42,527
How'd he know
your last name?
346
00:16:42,561 --> 00:16:44,631
I'm a famous writer,
Cronut.
347
00:16:44,664 --> 00:16:46,164
This nigga delusional.
348
00:16:46,198 --> 00:16:48,835
My book is in-in-in
Barnes and Noble's.
349
00:16:48,868 --> 00:16:52,639
Nigga! Ain't nobody
reading your books! Retire!
350
00:16:52,672 --> 00:16:54,674
Look, you're running
around here smoking that weed,
351
00:16:54,707 --> 00:16:57,744
you're paranoid,
you're smoking 2K, K2,
352
00:16:57,777 --> 00:16:59,211
or whatever the fuck
you doing...
353
00:16:59,244 --> 00:17:00,880
First of all,
I'm not smoking K2.
354
00:17:00,913 --> 00:17:02,649
I'm smoking strictly weed.
355
00:17:02,682 --> 00:17:04,616
And second of all,
something ain't right about that house,
356
00:17:04,651 --> 00:17:08,420
because boy was from Africa,
but he had a French accent.
357
00:17:08,453 --> 00:17:11,323
He got a sideburn that curl
up, like the devil.
358
00:17:11,356 --> 00:17:13,793
I'm thinking, man. You?
We got to get to the bottom of it.
359
00:17:13,826 --> 00:17:16,528
We not getting
to the bottom of shit.
360
00:17:16,561 --> 00:17:18,597
Well, you write your book.
I'll just be a detective.
361
00:17:18,631 --> 00:17:19,966
A detective for what?
362
00:17:19,999 --> 00:17:24,971
Africa, Carl. Africa.
Are you listening to me?
363
00:17:25,004 --> 00:17:26,706
Southwest don't go
to Africa.
364
00:17:26,739 --> 00:17:28,440
You won't help me do shit.
365
00:17:28,473 --> 00:17:30,475
I'm trying to marry
this man wife,
366
00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:32,277
I'm trying to tell you about
these devil worshippers over here
367
00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:33,913
and your book suck.
How about that?
368
00:17:37,582 --> 00:17:39,618
Shady Management.
369
00:17:39,652 --> 00:17:40,920
Leave a message.
370
00:17:40,953 --> 00:17:43,455
Hey, it's Carl Black.
Just calling you again,
371
00:17:43,488 --> 00:17:46,693
just lettin' you know
that I'm writing away.
372
00:17:46,726 --> 00:17:48,460
I need that advancement.
373
00:17:48,493 --> 00:17:51,664
The water bill's due,
we need bread, dishwash li...
374
00:17:55,635 --> 00:17:57,003
Do you know who I am?
375
00:17:57,036 --> 00:18:01,007
I am Wooky. The one
that survived the Purge.
376
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,842
I can help you survive
your problem.
377
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,310
Are you being bullied?
Do you hear noises at night?
378
00:18:05,343 --> 00:18:06,611
Phone me.
379
00:18:06,646 --> 00:18:08,014
Are you sick?
Do you have a headache?
380
00:18:08,047 --> 00:18:11,283
Are you hearing things?
Malaria? Ebola?
381
00:18:11,316 --> 00:18:12,719
Demon experience?
382
00:18:12,752 --> 00:18:14,987
Call me. Whisper to me.
383
00:18:15,021 --> 00:18:17,657
I will fight your battles
for you today.
384
00:18:19,058 --> 00:18:20,492
I am Wooky.
385
00:18:21,526 --> 00:18:23,029
Ain't nobody go
for that bullshit.
386
00:18:26,632 --> 00:18:28,968
All right, yeah. Shit.
387
00:18:34,006 --> 00:18:35,842
Allie Black.
388
00:18:35,875 --> 00:18:38,644
Yes, Daddy? Yes?
389
00:18:38,678 --> 00:18:40,445
- What you doing?
- I'm studying.
390
00:18:40,479 --> 00:18:41,748
- You're studying.
- Yes.
391
00:18:41,781 --> 00:18:43,381
Yeah. I thought you
was home for fall?
392
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:45,383
Doesn't mean I still
don't have to study, Dad.
393
00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:48,386
You know our family have been
going through a lot of stuff,
394
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:51,057
and you don't like to follow
the rules all the time,
395
00:18:51,090 --> 00:18:53,425
'cause I've been asked you
a whole bunch of times
396
00:18:53,458 --> 00:18:55,393
to keep these little boys
out of my...
397
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,362
- Daddy, I can explain...
- Ah! What the hell is wrong with you?
398
00:18:57,395 --> 00:18:58,631
I know a lot of gang shit.
You know...
399
00:18:58,664 --> 00:18:59,932
I thought he was dead!
400
00:18:59,966 --> 00:19:02,367
No, bitch.
Dying's for pussies.
401
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,837
I told you to keep these
little boys out of this house.
402
00:19:04,871 --> 00:19:06,973
I sent you to school
for a education...
403
00:19:07,006 --> 00:19:09,075
- I had to drop out, okay?
- You dropped out?
404
00:19:09,108 --> 00:19:11,476
We dropped out.
A couple goes...
405
00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:14,013
You and him about to be living off
that little cripple check every month.
406
00:19:14,046 --> 00:19:16,015
- Baby, give me my cane. I'm out.
- Okay.
407
00:19:16,048 --> 00:19:17,850
Yeah, this
don't make no sense.
408
00:19:17,884 --> 00:19:19,551
I don't know what
you going through, Allie.
409
00:19:19,584 --> 00:19:21,788
Daddy, Daddy. Just...
just leave him alone, okay?
410
00:19:21,821 --> 00:19:23,488
If you're gonna do
somethin', do somethin'.
411
00:19:23,522 --> 00:19:24,724
It's already done.
412
00:19:24,757 --> 00:19:26,491
If you're gonna do
somethin', do somethin'.
413
00:19:26,525 --> 00:19:27,894
Freezee!
414
00:19:27,927 --> 00:19:29,361
Daddy,
why'd you do that?
415
00:19:29,394 --> 00:19:30,495
I didn't even touch him.
416
00:19:30,529 --> 00:19:31,798
That's all right.
You got it, baby?
417
00:19:31,831 --> 00:19:33,065
Come on. Help his arm.
Get his arm right there.
418
00:19:33,099 --> 00:19:35,034
Hey, I don't need your help!
I'm in the ADA.
419
00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:36,568
Baby, you do need help.
420
00:19:36,601 --> 00:19:38,004
- All right.
- You need some help, okay?
421
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:40,539
Yeah. Lift him up.
One, two, three.
422
00:19:41,974 --> 00:19:43,910
Fuck you! Ain't nobody
need your assistance.
423
00:19:43,943 --> 00:19:45,711
Baby, go start
the car, okay?
424
00:19:45,745 --> 00:19:47,647
- All right.
- We'll be out of here in a second.
425
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:49,115
I'm gonna let you know one thing.
My dick may not work,
426
00:19:49,148 --> 00:19:52,051
but my tongue game's
strong on your girl.
427
00:19:52,084 --> 00:19:53,686
Okay. Baby, go.
428
00:19:53,719 --> 00:19:54,954
Ask him for some
gas money, baby.
429
00:19:54,987 --> 00:19:57,422
I will. I'll ask him
for some. Okay.
430
00:19:57,455 --> 00:19:58,925
Oh, thank God.
431
00:19:58,958 --> 00:20:00,893
But why don't you get
somebody that can walk?
432
00:20:00,927 --> 00:20:02,427
I ain't helping.
433
00:20:02,460 --> 00:20:04,396
Daddy, listen.
Okay, I had to drop out
434
00:20:04,429 --> 00:20:06,464
because your check bounced.
435
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,533
And you would know that if you
cared about anybody in this family
436
00:20:08,567 --> 00:20:10,569
except yourself
and that damn book.
437
00:20:10,602 --> 00:20:13,039
He loves me.
438
00:20:15,473 --> 00:20:17,442
He only cares about himself.
He's so selfish.
439
00:20:17,475 --> 00:20:19,011
Allie!
440
00:20:22,815 --> 00:20:24,083
Allie!
441
00:20:24,116 --> 00:20:25,651
Allie!
442
00:20:30,122 --> 00:20:32,992
Ekekek. Ekekek.
443
00:20:33,025 --> 00:20:34,727
Psst! Ekekek.
444
00:20:36,595 --> 00:20:38,798
Carl, come here.
445
00:20:38,831 --> 00:20:39,999
You gotta see this shit.
446
00:20:40,032 --> 00:20:41,634
Get over where?
How do I get over there?
447
00:20:41,667 --> 00:20:42,869
Hop over, man.
448
00:20:45,004 --> 00:20:47,640
No, no, for real.
For real. Come here.
449
00:20:47,673 --> 00:20:49,876
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Calm down. Calm down.
450
00:20:49,909 --> 00:20:52,044
Check that. Shit!
451
00:20:56,481 --> 00:20:57,950
Is that Michael Jackson?
452
00:20:57,984 --> 00:20:59,852
Where's the box from Africa?
453
00:20:59,886 --> 00:21:01,419
- That's so weird.
- Hey! Hey, man!
454
00:21:01,453 --> 00:21:02,955
Hey, man,
don't do that!
455
00:21:02,989 --> 00:21:04,991
Why are you always
creeping up on people, man?
456
00:21:05,024 --> 00:21:07,627
- Don't do that.
- That's what I do. I creep.
457
00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:10,062
- Look, look.
- Find it.
458
00:21:11,297 --> 00:21:14,100
They just moved into the house
and people are already coming over.
459
00:21:17,169 --> 00:21:19,739
Goddamn. She got
a big 'ol ass.
460
00:21:21,707 --> 00:21:24,442
Hello. I'm here
for Dr. Mamuwalde.
461
00:21:33,219 --> 00:21:34,854
Something ain't right.
462
00:21:34,887 --> 00:21:36,088
I'mma tell you
something.
463
00:21:36,122 --> 00:21:39,158
Leave them goddamn
neighbors alone.
464
00:21:39,191 --> 00:21:42,695
- Leave them alone! I'm out of here.
- Look.
465
00:21:42,728 --> 00:21:43,896
I think you
made him mad.
466
00:21:43,930 --> 00:21:45,965
He's always mad at me.
Don't even trip.
467
00:21:45,998 --> 00:21:48,067
She ain't coming back out of there.
I told you, once you go in there,
468
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:50,169
you ain't coming out,
especially if you're fine.
469
00:21:50,202 --> 00:21:52,939
All the ugly bitches came right
out, but this coochie?
470
00:21:52,972 --> 00:21:55,207
I'm going in.
471
00:21:55,241 --> 00:21:56,909
I'm neighborhood watch.
472
00:22:01,213 --> 00:22:02,882
Yeah. You go
right on in there.
473
00:22:02,915 --> 00:22:05,084
I trust you.
474
00:22:05,117 --> 00:22:06,786
Snitch, Snitch, come in.
475
00:22:10,588 --> 00:22:11,958
What can I do for you?
476
00:22:11,991 --> 00:22:14,260
I'm neighborhood watch.
I need to get in this house.
477
00:22:14,293 --> 00:22:17,830
Well then, please, come in,
Mr. Neighborhood Watch.
478
00:22:17,863 --> 00:22:19,597
You're very welcome here.
479
00:22:26,238 --> 00:22:28,774
Cronut, what the fuck
are you doing?
480
00:22:28,808 --> 00:22:29,775
Shhh!
481
00:22:32,778 --> 00:22:35,114
Why are you looking
in their window?
482
00:22:35,147 --> 00:22:36,649
Get out of them
people's house.
483
00:22:38,550 --> 00:22:40,086
What you see?
484
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:41,754
Well, first of all,
this house looks amazing on the inside,
485
00:22:41,787 --> 00:22:44,890
but they're doing
some freaky shit for real.
486
00:22:44,924 --> 00:22:48,761
What? What's he doing?
487
00:22:51,931 --> 00:22:55,533
Cronut! What's going on?
488
00:22:55,567 --> 00:22:58,037
- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- What? What? What?
489
00:22:58,070 --> 00:23:00,673
- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- What? What?
490
00:23:00,706 --> 00:23:02,141
Go, go.
491
00:23:04,576 --> 00:23:07,880
- Oh, shit.
- Why we running, man?
492
00:23:07,913 --> 00:23:10,783
- Hey, ¿qué pasó?
- OG. Hugo.
493
00:23:10,816 --> 00:23:12,685
There's vampires, man.
There's vampires.
494
00:23:12,718 --> 00:23:13,986
Re... relax. Ain't no...
495
00:23:14,020 --> 00:23:16,956
The vampire feeds on blood.
496
00:23:16,989 --> 00:23:20,793
But what he really wants
497
00:23:20,826 --> 00:23:23,295
is to find the things
that you love most
498
00:23:23,329 --> 00:23:25,530
and twist you...
499
00:23:26,866 --> 00:23:30,535
and torment you
every day of your life.
500
00:23:32,705 --> 00:23:34,707
You're a dark motherfucker.
501
00:23:34,740 --> 00:23:37,276
You've been saying some crazy
shit back here in this backyard.
502
00:23:37,309 --> 00:23:39,078
So what should we do, OG?
503
00:23:39,111 --> 00:23:41,047
Find out what he wants.
504
00:23:42,982 --> 00:23:46,285
Find out what he's doing
in our neighborhood.
505
00:23:46,318 --> 00:23:47,853
Think about it.
506
00:23:47,887 --> 00:23:49,722
We ain't never seen
Dr. Mamuwalde in the daytime.
507
00:23:49,755 --> 00:23:51,257
- You know why?
- Why?
508
00:23:51,290 --> 00:23:53,192
"And they rise from
the grave at night
509
00:23:53,225 --> 00:23:55,327
- to feast on the living."
- Oh, no.
510
00:23:55,361 --> 00:23:58,030
Shut the fuck up
for a second.
511
00:23:58,064 --> 00:23:59,899
Just for one second,
shut the fuck up.
512
00:23:59,932 --> 00:24:02,735
You know what? All that
coming to... to life
513
00:24:02,768 --> 00:24:06,105
and the dead rising up
and the Tales of the Crypt
514
00:24:06,138 --> 00:24:08,340
and the Michael Jackson,
the monsters,
515
00:24:08,374 --> 00:24:10,810
all that is a bunch of bullshit!
516
00:24:10,843 --> 00:24:12,778
Did you see the little
guy in the window?
517
00:24:12,812 --> 00:24:14,213
'Cause you probably
think it's Prince
518
00:24:14,246 --> 00:24:16,182
or I don't know who
the fuck you think it is.
519
00:24:16,215 --> 00:24:17,917
It's a little pimp in there.
520
00:24:18,851 --> 00:24:22,288
Bitches is getting slapped
over in that house.
521
00:24:22,321 --> 00:24:24,323
Man, I know what I saw, man.
That was a goddamn vampire.
522
00:24:24,356 --> 00:24:25,925
Definitely.
I know what I saw.
523
00:24:25,958 --> 00:24:28,227
A pimp live next door
to us, okay?
524
00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:30,029
P-I-M-P.
525
00:24:30,062 --> 00:24:32,264
Put it in my pocket.
526
00:24:32,298 --> 00:24:36,001
The reason why he sleep all day?
Because pimping is at night!
527
00:24:36,035 --> 00:24:38,003
I'm gone. I'm getting
the fuck out of here.
528
00:24:38,037 --> 00:24:39,638
I'm finna go write my book.
529
00:24:39,672 --> 00:24:41,273
You done lost
your motherfucking mind.
530
00:24:41,307 --> 00:24:43,142
You need to go sign
up for the circus.
531
00:24:43,175 --> 00:24:46,145
- Oh, man.
- Don't invite him in.
532
00:24:46,178 --> 00:24:47,746
What?
533
00:24:47,780 --> 00:24:49,748
Only way to keep a vampire
out of your house.
534
00:24:49,782 --> 00:24:51,817
Don't invite him in.
535
00:24:52,952 --> 00:24:54,420
I'm gone, man. I ain't...
536
00:24:54,453 --> 00:24:56,755
Yeah, you go, man.
We're gonna get to the bottom of it.
537
00:24:56,789 --> 00:24:58,824
I'm gonna do some research.
We'll figure it out, bro!
538
00:24:58,858 --> 00:25:00,659
- Just trust me!
- Shut the fuck up.
539
00:25:01,694 --> 00:25:03,362
Well, what about...
what about if you live in the RV?
540
00:25:03,395 --> 00:25:06,031
- Is there any rules there?
- Don't invite him in.
541
00:25:21,981 --> 00:25:24,283
I ain't got no more bananas,
'cause this shit is...
542
00:25:24,316 --> 00:25:27,019
They got... bats.
543
00:25:27,052 --> 00:25:28,687
Vampire coming at me.
544
00:25:28,721 --> 00:25:30,055
God, I didn't sign up
for this shit.
545
00:25:31,757 --> 00:25:35,728
Fucking nude.
546
00:25:37,429 --> 00:25:38,998
Dispatch
to Snitch. Over.
547
00:25:39,031 --> 00:25:42,067
Do you know what
happens to snitches?
548
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,176
Shit!
549
00:25:50,209 --> 00:25:53,746
These bitches bit
Snitch's neck!
550
00:25:53,779 --> 00:25:56,715
Mama! Oh, shit!
That was shit. They got me.
551
00:25:58,050 --> 00:26:00,052
Oh, damn. Oh, damn.
552
00:26:11,096 --> 00:26:13,732
You know me as the one
that survived the Purge.
553
00:26:13,766 --> 00:26:16,468
Therefore, I could survive anything.
554
00:26:16,502 --> 00:26:18,003
What is going on
in your life?
555
00:26:18,037 --> 00:26:20,139
- Late night?
- Oh. Hey.
556
00:26:20,172 --> 00:26:21,974
Yeah. It was
the worst last night.
557
00:26:22,007 --> 00:26:23,342
I can explain, though.
558
00:26:23,375 --> 00:26:26,278
Can you tell me
what happened with Allie?
559
00:26:26,312 --> 00:26:29,215
- She called you?
- She's mad because you don't trust her.
560
00:26:29,248 --> 00:26:30,416
No. She had
her little boy in my house.
561
00:26:30,449 --> 00:26:32,251
She ain't paying no
rent up in here.
562
00:26:32,284 --> 00:26:34,220
You need to be the bigger man
and call her and apologize,
563
00:26:34,253 --> 00:26:36,488
because I'm not dealing
with all of this mess.
564
00:26:36,522 --> 00:26:39,825
And speaking of which, did you call the
real estate agent like I asked you to?
565
00:26:39,858 --> 00:26:41,160
Oh, man.
566
00:26:41,193 --> 00:26:43,963
I'm mentally exhausted
from all of this.
567
00:26:43,996 --> 00:26:46,198
I'm having a hard
time writing, okay?
568
00:26:46,232 --> 00:26:48,234
Lorena.
569
00:26:50,369 --> 00:26:52,371
Come, Lorena.
570
00:26:52,404 --> 00:26:55,774
Oh, my God.
571
00:26:55,808 --> 00:26:58,444
- Oh, my God.
- What's going on with you?
572
00:26:58,477 --> 00:27:00,012
Oh, my God.
573
00:27:00,045 --> 00:27:01,347
- Do you feel it...
- Oh, my God.
574
00:27:01,380 --> 00:27:02,848
- ...all over your body?
- Oh, shit.
575
00:27:02,881 --> 00:27:03,882
How is this happening?
576
00:27:03,916 --> 00:27:05,284
Oh, my God.
577
00:27:05,317 --> 00:27:07,219
Am I missing out
on something?
578
00:27:07,253 --> 00:27:09,888
Oh, yes.
Don't stop.
579
00:27:09,922 --> 00:27:12,992
Oh, my. Carl.
580
00:27:13,025 --> 00:27:14,326
Carl,
did you hear that?
581
00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,128
Hey, you didn't... you
didn't came in here.
582
00:27:16,161 --> 00:27:18,797
Shhh!
583
00:27:18,831 --> 00:27:22,167
Okay, then.
That's what I needed.
584
00:27:22,201 --> 00:27:25,471
Local authorities are
hesitant to label this a serial killer...
585
00:27:25,504 --> 00:27:28,040
- Oh, my God. - ...but sources
close to the investigation
586
00:27:28,073 --> 00:27:29,875
were heard saying
587
00:27:29,908 --> 00:27:33,345
"This is some fucked up shit
right here, my nigga."
588
00:27:33,379 --> 00:27:35,347
Who's doing all these terrible
things to these women?
589
00:27:35,381 --> 00:27:37,249
- ...they went on to say the dead...
- Oh, my God.
590
00:27:37,283 --> 00:27:39,184
I'm telling you,
we need to get out of here.
591
00:27:39,218 --> 00:27:41,086
Can you please, please
call that real estate man?
592
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:42,821
- The paper's right there.
- I'm gonna call.
593
00:27:42,855 --> 00:27:44,089
- I'm gonna call him.
- Okay.
594
00:27:44,123 --> 00:27:45,591
- ...signing off saying...
- Now.
595
00:27:45,624 --> 00:27:48,427
- Call him, please.
- ...hoes got to eat too.
596
00:27:56,435 --> 00:27:58,103
Allie!
597
00:27:59,104 --> 00:28:01,540
This is my 17th message.
598
00:28:01,573 --> 00:28:04,443
Please call me back, okay?
I'm looking for you.
599
00:28:04,476 --> 00:28:07,179
I'm worried about you.
Call me back.
600
00:28:09,148 --> 00:28:10,549
Hey.
601
00:28:13,118 --> 00:28:14,586
Listen, I'm not letting
you in my house
602
00:28:14,620 --> 00:28:16,455
so you can tell them
same ghost stories...
603
00:28:16,488 --> 00:28:18,057
No, you need to see
this for real.
604
00:28:18,090 --> 00:28:19,558
Snitch,
do you read me?
605
00:28:19,591 --> 00:28:21,060
Look like
a busted bike to me.
606
00:28:21,093 --> 00:28:23,529
No, look.
This Rico bike.
607
00:28:23,562 --> 00:28:26,231
- They done kidnapped Rico, bro.
- Dispatch to Snitch, over.
608
00:28:26,265 --> 00:28:28,167
He don't go nowhere
without this bike.
609
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,569
His license suspended.
He got no choice but to ride this bike.
610
00:28:30,602 --> 00:28:33,572
Look, Rico is a grown man
who done looked in the mirror
611
00:28:33,605 --> 00:28:35,441
and realized
he ain't got no business
612
00:28:35,474 --> 00:28:38,410
being 50 years old
on a tricycle.
613
00:28:38,444 --> 00:28:40,045
Or the vampires
could have got him.
614
00:28:41,613 --> 00:28:43,182
Dispatch to Snitch, over.
615
00:28:44,651 --> 00:28:46,618
Rico saw
something last night.
616
00:28:46,653 --> 00:28:48,554
I think I bet the vampires
snatched his ass up.
617
00:28:48,587 --> 00:28:50,589
Snitch, what is your 411?
618
00:28:50,622 --> 00:28:52,524
That's Freezee's car.
619
00:28:52,558 --> 00:28:54,960
In there pimping
my daughter!
620
00:29:02,334 --> 00:29:04,203
The sun's setting.
621
00:29:06,505 --> 00:29:09,141
The vampire's
about to wake up.
622
00:29:09,174 --> 00:29:10,876
Don't invite him in.
623
00:29:14,113 --> 00:29:15,648
Imbecile!
624
00:29:15,682 --> 00:29:17,549
Damn it, man!
You scared the hell out of me!
625
00:29:17,583 --> 00:29:20,219
Who the hell you
callin' an imbecile?
626
00:29:20,252 --> 00:29:23,389
Now listen, you take your hands off of me!
I don't know you!
627
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,194
Whoop.
628
00:29:29,228 --> 00:29:31,063
- Stop playing!
- Got you.
629
00:29:31,096 --> 00:29:32,197
You little bitch.
630
00:29:36,770 --> 00:29:39,338
No, but for real, though, this is crazy.
What is we doing?
631
00:29:41,473 --> 00:29:43,208
I know Allie's
in this house.
632
00:29:43,242 --> 00:29:45,110
Allie!
633
00:29:45,144 --> 00:29:47,413
These maniacs done kidnapped Rico
and you just banging on the door?
634
00:29:47,446 --> 00:29:49,047
I've been calling
Allie all day
635
00:29:49,081 --> 00:29:50,449
and she ain't answer
the phone. Relax.
636
00:29:50,482 --> 00:29:52,217
Allie!
637
00:29:52,251 --> 00:29:55,120
- What the fuck?
- Can I help you, gentlemen?
638
00:29:55,154 --> 00:29:57,456
My daughter's
in there, man.
639
00:29:57,489 --> 00:30:00,092
Come on, man. Give me my daughter
back, man. This is crazy.
640
00:30:00,125 --> 00:30:02,361
You got the fuckin'
Halloween shit going on?
641
00:30:02,394 --> 00:30:04,196
That's my daughter!
642
00:30:04,229 --> 00:30:06,733
I'm sure I don't know
what you mean, neighbor.
643
00:30:06,766 --> 00:30:08,668
The car is in the back.
644
00:30:08,701 --> 00:30:10,670
I've been looking
for my daughter all day.
645
00:30:10,703 --> 00:30:12,204
Your pimping gonna stop.
646
00:30:12,237 --> 00:30:13,706
God don't like ugly, man.
647
00:30:13,740 --> 00:30:17,276
Mr. Black, your daughter
is not in this house.
648
00:30:17,309 --> 00:30:18,343
Ah!
649
00:30:20,713 --> 00:30:23,382
Can I come in the house?
650
00:30:23,415 --> 00:30:25,484
The doctor will not
be here until later.
651
00:30:25,517 --> 00:30:28,554
I wonder why? You got all them dead
bodies in there you don't want us to see?
652
00:30:28,587 --> 00:30:31,724
But, if you'd like
to come in, Mr. Black,
653
00:30:31,758 --> 00:30:37,062
you will find out in fact that
your daughter is not in this house.
654
00:30:37,095 --> 00:30:38,997
- We can come in and search the whole...
- Mr. Black, please.
655
00:30:39,031 --> 00:30:40,399
You want... that's what you
want us to do?
656
00:30:40,432 --> 00:30:41,967
Please.
657
00:30:44,336 --> 00:30:45,471
Be my guest.
658
00:30:45,504 --> 00:30:47,506
You want some real niggas...
659
00:30:47,539 --> 00:30:48,775
Enjoy yourselves, please.
660
00:30:48,808 --> 00:30:50,375
- ...come in your house?
- Go.
661
00:30:52,745 --> 00:30:54,781
Hey, stop.
662
00:30:57,817 --> 00:30:59,051
Allie!
663
00:30:59,084 --> 00:31:00,653
Allie!
664
00:31:02,354 --> 00:31:04,389
What?
665
00:31:04,423 --> 00:31:06,558
- Carl, look at this shit.
- What?
666
00:31:12,832 --> 00:31:15,467
That shit
look crazy, man.
667
00:31:15,501 --> 00:31:17,436
What the fuck is that
dog thing right there?
668
00:31:17,469 --> 00:31:18,638
- Mr. Black!
- Hey! Shit!
669
00:31:18,671 --> 00:31:20,439
Damn, bro!
What the fuck is going on?
670
00:31:20,472 --> 00:31:21,641
- What's wrong with you, bro?
- Don't touch these dolls.
671
00:31:21,674 --> 00:31:23,475
What is wrong with you?
672
00:31:23,509 --> 00:31:28,080
These are very, very expensive
West African voodoo totems.
673
00:31:28,113 --> 00:31:30,148
- The doctor is a collector.
- Allie!
674
00:31:32,652 --> 00:31:33,686
Allie!
675
00:31:38,156 --> 00:31:39,659
Allie! Whoa!
676
00:31:40,559 --> 00:31:42,629
- Is my daddy in here?
- Please come in, Allie.
677
00:31:42,662 --> 00:31:43,663
Carl.
678
00:31:45,430 --> 00:31:46,532
- What?
- Guess who come in.
679
00:31:46,565 --> 00:31:48,300
Dad! What are you
doing here?
680
00:31:48,333 --> 00:31:50,602
Allie, what are you doing?
Where your ass been at?
681
00:31:50,637 --> 00:31:51,838
What the hell's going on?
682
00:31:51,871 --> 00:31:53,572
Why are you
in these nice people's house?
683
00:31:53,605 --> 00:31:55,775
These people ain't nice.
This is a pimp's house.
684
00:31:55,808 --> 00:31:57,710
- This is a nice house.
- Oh, my God.
685
00:31:57,744 --> 00:31:59,646
Man, this is crazy!
Look, he's been putting
686
00:31:59,679 --> 00:32:02,281
all kind of crazy stories
in my head about you.
687
00:32:02,314 --> 00:32:04,116
The car's in the back...
688
00:32:04,149 --> 00:32:06,753
See, I knew you were going to
be tripping when you found out.
689
00:32:06,786 --> 00:32:09,154
God. Found out what?
690
00:32:09,956 --> 00:32:12,457
I just gotta tell you.
I'm just going to say it.
691
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,495
- I'm movin' out.
- Movin' out where?
692
00:32:16,528 --> 00:32:18,564
Me and Freezee
are going to get married
693
00:32:18,597 --> 00:32:20,232
and we're going
to make a life together.
694
00:32:20,265 --> 00:32:22,635
I will take my belt off
and tear your ass up.
695
00:32:22,669 --> 00:32:25,504
Daddy, I can make my own choices.
It's called feminism.
696
00:32:25,537 --> 00:32:28,808
Oh,
I know all about liberating some women.
697
00:32:28,841 --> 00:32:30,677
- You hear that?
- Yeah.
698
00:32:39,318 --> 00:32:44,222
Let me introduce
Dr. Mamuwalde!
699
00:32:46,826 --> 00:32:49,261
Dr. Mamuwalde.
700
00:32:50,228 --> 00:32:52,431
Dr. Mamuwalde.
701
00:32:52,464 --> 00:32:54,701
Dr. Mamuwalde.
702
00:32:55,735 --> 00:32:57,770
Dr. Mamuwalde.
703
00:32:58,771 --> 00:33:01,273
Dr. Mamuwalde.
704
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,176
So beautiful.
705
00:33:04,209 --> 00:33:06,345
Dr. Mamuwalde.
706
00:33:07,847 --> 00:33:10,616
Dr. Mamuwalde.
707
00:33:11,383 --> 00:33:14,353
Dr. Mamuwalde.
708
00:33:14,386 --> 00:33:16,923
Is that a Black
bite-sized Hugh Hefner?
709
00:33:16,956 --> 00:33:19,591
Dr. Mamuwalde.
710
00:33:19,625 --> 00:33:22,194
Dr. Mamuwalde.
711
00:33:23,395 --> 00:33:25,698
Dr. Mamuwalde.
712
00:33:25,732 --> 00:33:27,332
All right, man.
713
00:33:27,366 --> 00:33:30,335
Monty, I told you,
three times.
714
00:33:30,369 --> 00:33:31,871
Yeah, nigga, damn.
715
00:33:31,904 --> 00:33:33,673
Every day is a struggle,
716
00:33:33,706 --> 00:33:36,876
but every night
is a feast, you feel me?
717
00:33:36,909 --> 00:33:40,379
Carl Black!
Show me some love.
718
00:33:40,412 --> 00:33:41,714
I can give you some
from right here.
719
00:33:41,748 --> 00:33:43,448
I can't come over
and give up no...
720
00:33:43,482 --> 00:33:45,818
- no love shit, dog.
- Mm-mm.
721
00:33:45,852 --> 00:33:49,856
Welcome to my humble abode,
Carl Black.
722
00:33:49,889 --> 00:33:51,891
How the fuck
do you know my name?
723
00:33:51,924 --> 00:33:55,193
That's what's crazy.
You been on my IG page?
724
00:33:55,227 --> 00:33:57,529
Oh, I've had
my third eye on you.
725
00:33:57,562 --> 00:33:59,231
I mean, if it was about
that shit the other night,
726
00:33:59,264 --> 00:34:00,465
all right, look,
I ain't got...
727
00:34:00,499 --> 00:34:02,935
The doctor is
a fan of your book...
728
00:34:02,969 --> 00:34:03,970
- Ooh.
- Mr. Black.
729
00:34:04,003 --> 00:34:05,938
Shit. Mm.
730
00:34:05,972 --> 00:34:08,607
And doodoo is
a fan of your mouth.
731
00:34:08,641 --> 00:34:10,609
- Dad.
- You know my book?
732
00:34:10,643 --> 00:34:11,978
- Wow.
- Mm.
733
00:34:12,011 --> 00:34:13,612
I told you, you got
to get back in there.
734
00:34:13,646 --> 00:34:15,715
You know he's in, uh,
a tough spot right now.
735
00:34:15,748 --> 00:34:17,215
- He's in a artistic bind.
- Yeah. I'm trying to write a new book.
736
00:34:17,249 --> 00:34:18,918
Yeah. You see,
the first one was good.
737
00:34:18,951 --> 00:34:20,753
- Yeah. The second one.
- Now, I'm trying to do...
738
00:34:20,787 --> 00:34:22,789
- I'm trying to do the second one.
- Gotta be off the chain.
739
00:34:22,822 --> 00:34:24,456
It's a fine piece
of literature.
740
00:34:24,489 --> 00:34:26,458
The shit was
a modern-day classic.
741
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:29,896
Dr. Mamuwalde.
742
00:34:29,929 --> 00:34:33,532
What type of medicine
you practice, bro?
743
00:34:33,565 --> 00:34:35,768
I practice
the type of medicine
744
00:34:35,802 --> 00:34:38,336
for those
with a particular affliction.
745
00:34:38,370 --> 00:34:41,273
Take two of these and call me in the morning.
746
00:34:42,507 --> 00:34:44,711
Oh, this.
747
00:34:44,744 --> 00:34:45,845
Bless his name.
748
00:34:45,878 --> 00:34:47,747
I knew you was a pimp.
749
00:34:47,780 --> 00:34:50,315
- Ha. Such harsh language, Mr. Black.
- Yeah.
750
00:34:50,348 --> 00:34:52,584
I am a purveyor
and provocateur
751
00:34:52,617 --> 00:34:56,488
of fine ass bitches
and high-priced pleasure.
752
00:34:56,521 --> 00:34:58,891
I know what I'm looking at
when I see it.
753
00:34:58,925 --> 00:35:00,693
Hold on. Wait a minute,
little George Jefferson.
754
00:35:00,727 --> 00:35:03,328
We ain't doing no provocative
nothin' around here.
755
00:35:03,361 --> 00:35:04,731
This is my daughter.
756
00:35:04,764 --> 00:35:06,766
Ain't nothin' going up
in there but a tampon.
757
00:35:06,799 --> 00:35:08,366
- Daddy!
- Mr. Black, I assure you,
758
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,503
I may be a pimp,
but I am no monster.
759
00:35:11,536 --> 00:35:14,006
Matter of fact, to prove my point,
760
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:19,377
allow me. A mind is
a terrible thing to waste.
761
00:35:19,411 --> 00:35:21,613
This is for your education.
762
00:35:21,647 --> 00:35:22,648
Really?
763
00:35:27,086 --> 00:35:28,921
- No.
- Ooh. Daddy!
764
00:35:28,955 --> 00:35:31,724
No! We ain't raisin'
no THOTs around here!
765
00:35:31,758 --> 00:35:33,592
- We ain't doing no THOTin'!
- But we need the money!
766
00:35:33,625 --> 00:35:35,995
You... but we ain't getting
the money that kind of way.
767
00:35:36,028 --> 00:35:38,831
We sellin' books
around here, not pussy!
768
00:35:38,865 --> 00:35:41,566
The Black man has yet again
said no to education.
769
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,936
- Fuck you! Come on. Get your ass out of here.
- Daddy!
770
00:35:43,970 --> 00:35:46,404
- Why are you always yelling at people?
- Fuck you, Mr. Mamuwalde.
771
00:35:46,438 --> 00:35:48,340
Thank you, nice man!
772
00:35:48,373 --> 00:35:51,043
Well, let me just say I'm
having a soirée tomorrow night
773
00:35:51,077 --> 00:35:53,345
and I would be honored
if you would join me.
774
00:35:53,378 --> 00:35:55,248
I'm expensive!
775
00:35:59,652 --> 00:36:02,755
Tomorrow night is the soirée.
776
00:36:02,789 --> 00:36:03,823
Oh, oh.
777
00:36:05,457 --> 00:36:08,728
- Save them for me.
- We expect to be seeing you.
778
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:23,676
You always do this,
Daddy.
779
00:36:23,709 --> 00:36:25,577
Why wouldn't you let
that pretty man help me?
780
00:36:25,610 --> 00:36:27,680
Dolomite was trying
to get in your panties.
781
00:36:27,713 --> 00:36:29,581
- We don't need his money.
- No.
782
00:36:29,614 --> 00:36:32,118
We don't need the money.
I need the money, Dad.
783
00:36:32,151 --> 00:36:34,787
I just want to get my education,
so I don't end up like you.
784
00:36:34,821 --> 00:36:36,022
- Like me?
- Yes, Daddy.
785
00:36:36,055 --> 00:36:37,489
Just write the book
or get a job.
786
00:36:37,522 --> 00:36:38,791
Get a job,
broke nigga!
787
00:36:38,825 --> 00:36:40,592
I got some money
on your hair, Freezee.
788
00:36:40,625 --> 00:36:42,460
I'm about to unthaw yo ass.
789
00:36:42,494 --> 00:36:44,063
- I'm leaving.
- Allie.
790
00:36:44,096 --> 00:36:45,832
And me and Freezee are gonna
live happily ever after together.
791
00:36:45,865 --> 00:36:47,465
- Allie Black.
- That is what we're doing.
792
00:36:47,499 --> 00:36:48,868
- Freezee! Let's go!
- Allie Black.
793
00:36:48,901 --> 00:36:50,368
Allie! Allie!
794
00:36:50,402 --> 00:36:51,637
I think she just called
you a dumbass.
795
00:36:51,671 --> 00:36:52,772
Stop yelling
in the neighborhood!
796
00:36:52,805 --> 00:36:54,606
- Allie.
- We're going.
797
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,642
- Baby, tuck my legs in.
- I got you.
798
00:36:57,743 --> 00:36:59,511
- Baby.
- Look at that.
799
00:36:59,544 --> 00:37:01,047
Always falling like this.
800
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:02,849
Carl!
801
00:37:02,882 --> 00:37:05,151
Why is she leaving like that, baby?
We just talked about this.
802
00:37:05,184 --> 00:37:07,119
- Baby, I...
- Well-well, the neighbor next door
803
00:37:07,153 --> 00:37:09,421
tried to give some goddamn
vampire pimp money
804
00:37:09,454 --> 00:37:11,824
to Allie for school
and goddamn hatin' ass Carl,
805
00:37:11,858 --> 00:37:14,694
he gon' take the money and throw
it back in the goddamn vampire face
806
00:37:14,727 --> 00:37:16,095
and goddamn Allie,
goddamn...
807
00:37:16,128 --> 00:37:19,464
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
calm down, little infant!
808
00:37:19,497 --> 00:37:21,533
Vampire?
Vampire pimp?
809
00:37:21,566 --> 00:37:23,803
That's what you guys are out
here talking about right now?
810
00:37:23,836 --> 00:37:26,404
- No. It ain't even like that.
- We just had this conversation.
811
00:37:26,438 --> 00:37:29,108
- Hey.
- I'm tired of all this craziness.
812
00:37:29,141 --> 00:37:31,110
Did you call the real estate
agent like I asked you to?
813
00:37:31,143 --> 00:37:34,113
Called the real estate agent.
I... I left a message for him.
814
00:37:34,146 --> 00:37:36,983
Look, Carl, I'll call him,
just like I do
815
00:37:37,016 --> 00:37:39,118
- everything else around here, okay?
- Oh-oh.
816
00:37:39,151 --> 00:37:41,854
But you know what, we need to talk
tonight when I get home from work.
817
00:37:41,888 --> 00:37:43,723
Oh-oh.
818
00:37:43,756 --> 00:37:45,725
- Babe, don't do that.
- I gotta go to work.
819
00:37:45,758 --> 00:37:47,459
- She's gonna cheat on you.
- Shut up, Cronut.
820
00:37:47,492 --> 00:37:48,593
It's me, baby.
821
00:37:48,628 --> 00:37:49,962
- Yeah.
- Babe.
822
00:37:51,163 --> 00:37:53,633
Yeah, she gonna cheat on you.
823
00:37:55,034 --> 00:37:56,669
I'm gonna cheat on you.
824
00:37:56,702 --> 00:37:58,971
Carl. Carl.
825
00:38:00,505 --> 00:38:01,741
Carl!
826
00:38:01,774 --> 00:38:03,608
- Carl!
- What?
827
00:38:03,643 --> 00:38:05,543
Gotta listen to me.
You gotta hear me out for real.
828
00:38:05,577 --> 00:38:07,545
I know you're going
through a lot.
829
00:38:07,579 --> 00:38:09,782
I know your old lady trippin',
I know your daughter trippin',
830
00:38:09,815 --> 00:38:11,083
I know you have
a writer's block,
831
00:38:11,117 --> 00:38:13,019
but please, bro,
just listen to me.
832
00:38:13,052 --> 00:38:16,088
Go home. All right?
It's over.
833
00:38:16,122 --> 00:38:17,857
I'm movin' the fuck
out of this house.
834
00:38:17,890 --> 00:38:19,926
This our house!
We can't let him move us out.
835
00:38:19,959 --> 00:38:22,094
- I don't wannna hear that shit.
- I gotta tell you this for real.
836
00:38:22,128 --> 00:38:25,031
Guess what I found while you
was talking to the pimp vampire?
837
00:38:25,064 --> 00:38:27,166
These Rico glasses, man.
They probably got him.
838
00:38:27,199 --> 00:38:29,835
They done... they done drunk all
his blood and everything, man.
839
00:38:29,869 --> 00:38:32,138
Stop! That motherfucker
just tried to play me.
840
00:38:32,171 --> 00:38:33,571
He's going to jail.
841
00:38:33,605 --> 00:38:35,808
Three hots and a cot,
he's going to jail.
842
00:38:35,841 --> 00:38:37,910
So, what you
gonna do about it?
843
00:38:37,944 --> 00:38:39,979
The little motherfucker's going to jail
for pimping and pandering around here.
844
00:38:40,012 --> 00:38:41,546
What you mean,
what I'm gonna do?
845
00:38:41,579 --> 00:38:44,549
Police ain't never arrestin'
no goddamn vampire.
846
00:38:44,582 --> 00:38:46,252
That's shit, okay?
847
00:38:46,285 --> 00:38:48,688
Did you see he floated down the stairs?
848
00:38:48,721 --> 00:38:50,156
You didn't see him float?
849
00:38:50,189 --> 00:38:51,991
911,
what's your emergency?
850
00:38:52,024 --> 00:38:54,093
Yes, I have
a problem here.
851
00:38:54,126 --> 00:38:56,762
Um,
I'm a new neighbor
852
00:38:56,796 --> 00:38:58,731
that just moved
in the neighborhood.
853
00:38:58,764 --> 00:39:00,666
As you can tell,
I'm Caucasian.
854
00:39:00,700 --> 00:39:03,202
And there's
a real peculiar guy.
855
00:39:03,235 --> 00:39:05,204
- Is he Black? Okay.
- Yes, he's Black.
856
00:39:05,237 --> 00:39:06,772
We'll send over
five units right away.
857
00:39:06,806 --> 00:39:08,207
Okay, you'll be here
in a second?
858
00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:10,276
- Right away.
- Thank you.
859
00:39:10,309 --> 00:39:13,646
That's how you do that.
860
00:39:13,679 --> 00:39:15,014
He's going to jail.
861
00:39:24,890 --> 00:39:26,759
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, fall back, fall back.
862
00:39:26,792 --> 00:39:28,761
- What's going on?
- I'm the lead cop on this.
863
00:39:28,794 --> 00:39:30,963
- Laced, you're a rookie.
- Listen, I'm just tryin' to have some fun.
864
00:39:30,997 --> 00:39:33,032
I said
fall back, man.
865
00:39:33,065 --> 00:39:34,800
Listen, I got my gun.
I'm going to this house to have some fun.
866
00:39:34,834 --> 00:39:36,068
Do my thing.
867
00:39:37,636 --> 00:39:40,106
All right. Go ahead.
Handle this.
868
00:39:40,139 --> 00:39:41,807
What kind of spooky shit
is this?
869
00:39:41,841 --> 00:39:44,643
First time bein' a cop.
This is gonna be a breeze.
870
00:39:44,677 --> 00:39:46,712
That like a old couple
relationship.
871
00:39:52,752 --> 00:39:54,120
Come on out of there
872
00:39:54,153 --> 00:39:56,055
- before I put a hot one in your ass!
- Hold on.
873
00:39:56,088 --> 00:39:57,323
There'll be no gun violence.
Put your gun down. This is my first day.
874
00:39:57,356 --> 00:39:59,058
Shut up and stop
being a little bitch.
875
00:40:03,763 --> 00:40:05,898
Two of them in up
there, weird as hell.
876
00:40:05,931 --> 00:40:07,833
Lock his ass up.
877
00:40:07,867 --> 00:40:08,968
He got Rico.
878
00:40:11,771 --> 00:40:14,974
- Police.
- Good heavens! What is all the fuss?
879
00:40:15,007 --> 00:40:18,210
Oh, a father
and son team, splendid.
880
00:40:18,244 --> 00:40:20,279
What may I do for you,
dark-skinned Hutch?
881
00:40:20,312 --> 00:40:23,049
Listen, big fella.
Dude down there saying y'all been involved
882
00:40:23,082 --> 00:40:25,217
in the kidnappin' of the
neighborhood watch captain?
883
00:40:25,251 --> 00:40:26,584
Rico.
884
00:40:26,618 --> 00:40:27,920
- So y'all kidnap him?
- Yeah.
885
00:40:27,953 --> 00:40:29,121
And I heard you got hoes
all up in through there.
886
00:40:29,155 --> 00:40:30,289
Y'all freaky-freaky, huh?
887
00:40:30,322 --> 00:40:31,924
Not at all, sir.
888
00:40:31,957 --> 00:40:34,260
This is the residence
of Dr. Mamuwalde.
889
00:40:34,293 --> 00:40:37,029
- Mama-who?
- Can't a man pimp in peace?
890
00:40:38,864 --> 00:40:41,300
The name is
Dr. Mamuwalde.
891
00:40:42,835 --> 00:40:44,804
- Shit.
- He trippin'-trippin'.
892
00:40:44,837 --> 00:40:46,705
I hope they get
his ass, man.
893
00:40:46,739 --> 00:40:48,374
Listen, big fella,
do you mind if I have a look inside,
894
00:40:48,407 --> 00:40:50,009
see what's going on
see what I can steal?
895
00:40:50,042 --> 00:40:51,777
I mean, just see what's
going on in the house.
896
00:40:51,811 --> 00:40:55,014
Absolutely. My house
is your house, officer.
897
00:40:55,047 --> 00:40:56,816
Feel free to look around
898
00:40:56,849 --> 00:41:00,086
- as soon as you present your warrant.
- He trippin'.
899
00:41:00,119 --> 00:41:01,887
- Warrant?
- Yes, warrant.
900
00:41:01,921 --> 00:41:04,723
What the fuck? You 'posed to
be an expert on the law now?
901
00:41:04,757 --> 00:41:07,726
I'm gonna show you what we do
with experts down here, hm?
902
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:09,128
Hold on, what you doing?
903
00:41:09,161 --> 00:41:11,197
No! Put the taser off!
Put the taser off!
904
00:41:11,230 --> 00:41:13,899
- You trippin'-trippin'.
- Uh-huh, bust him. Bust him.
905
00:41:13,933 --> 00:41:16,135
- Put your taser off.
- Don't eyeball me, boy.
906
00:41:16,168 --> 00:41:17,837
Don't play with me.
907
00:41:17,870 --> 00:41:19,271
We just want to know if you
know about the whereabouts
908
00:41:19,305 --> 00:41:21,774
of this Rico guy.
Where is Rico?
909
00:41:21,807 --> 00:41:25,077
You're the one supposed
to be looking
910
00:41:25,111 --> 00:41:27,980
for whoever you're
looking for, sir.
911
00:41:28,013 --> 00:41:31,217
I don't know who Rico is
and you can't make me.
912
00:41:31,250 --> 00:41:32,751
He's lying, man.
913
00:41:32,785 --> 00:41:34,386
How y'all gonna believe
914
00:41:34,420 --> 00:41:37,356
somebody dressed like
Dr. Seuss is what I'm sayin'?
915
00:41:37,389 --> 00:41:39,358
What do you do, sir?
For a living?
916
00:41:39,391 --> 00:41:43,195
Well, for a living,
I take fantasy and dreams
917
00:41:43,229 --> 00:41:46,265
and I make them
into reality.
918
00:41:46,298 --> 00:41:49,768
Let me tell you something,
creepy motherfucker. You got two options.
919
00:41:49,802 --> 00:41:53,939
Option A, we look around
inside this spooky motherfucker,
920
00:41:53,973 --> 00:41:56,242
or option B, we're gonna
arrest your ass,
921
00:41:56,275 --> 00:41:58,744
take you down to the precinct,
ask you a bunch of goddamn questions.
922
00:41:58,777 --> 00:42:01,280
He's going to jail. That's
what I'm talking about.
923
00:42:01,313 --> 00:42:03,749
I'll take... I haven't even
chosen my options.
924
00:42:03,782 --> 00:42:05,384
Oh, we're gonna do it.
We're gonna take him now.
925
00:42:05,417 --> 00:42:07,987
Option A, I don't.
Option B...
926
00:42:08,020 --> 00:42:09,355
We're gonna take
you downtown, Midnite.
927
00:42:09,388 --> 00:42:11,090
Wait a minute.
928
00:42:11,123 --> 00:42:14,126
How can you call me "midnight"
as dark as you are...
929
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,695
- What? What did you say?
- ...ith all due respect, officer?
930
00:42:16,729 --> 00:42:19,732
Well, if I'm Midnight,
aren't you two Nights?
931
00:42:19,765 --> 00:42:21,800
There ain't shit you're gonna do about it.
Come on with your little...
932
00:42:21,834 --> 00:42:23,335
- Stop resisting.
- They're taking him to jail.
933
00:42:23,369 --> 00:42:25,371
That's what I'm talking about.
Do your job.
934
00:42:25,404 --> 00:42:27,806
This is definitely
Black on Black crime.
935
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,942
Hey, I got it.
Take his Black ass down.
936
00:42:43,122 --> 00:42:44,456
Officer!
937
00:42:44,490 --> 00:42:46,325
I believe there's been
a misunderstanding.
938
00:42:48,460 --> 00:42:50,196
Do you mean this Rico?
939
00:42:55,467 --> 00:42:57,870
Rico, what the fuck
you doing in there?
940
00:42:57,903 --> 00:43:01,073
I'm fine. I was just
in the basement...
941
00:43:01,106 --> 00:43:02,875
They didn't fondle with you
down there, did they?
942
00:43:02,908 --> 00:43:04,276
They did me fine.
943
00:43:04,310 --> 00:43:07,379
- They served me fresh bananas.
- From Honduras.
944
00:43:07,413 --> 00:43:08,847
Bananas in the basement?
945
00:43:08,881 --> 00:43:10,516
They done brainwashed
his crazy ass.
946
00:43:10,549 --> 00:43:11,917
They did more
than brainwashing.
947
00:43:11,951 --> 00:43:13,852
Somethin' ain't
right with him.
948
00:43:27,533 --> 00:43:30,402
Come to me, Lorena.
949
00:43:38,310 --> 00:43:40,913
Come to me, Lorena.
950
00:43:42,047 --> 00:43:44,383
I've been searching for you.
951
00:43:46,385 --> 00:43:52,024
Are you feeling my breath
upon your corpuscle?
952
00:44:02,368 --> 00:44:04,203
What kind
of cop shit is this?
953
00:44:04,236 --> 00:44:05,537
Y'all let him go?
954
00:44:05,571 --> 00:44:08,107
Mr. Black, you call us
down here again
955
00:44:08,140 --> 00:44:09,375
and waste our damn time,
956
00:44:09,408 --> 00:44:11,977
I'm gonna take
your ashy ass to jail.
957
00:44:12,011 --> 00:44:13,512
We cop cops.
This ain't no damn joke!
958
00:44:13,545 --> 00:44:16,015
Man, if you don't get
your retarded ass...
959
00:44:16,048 --> 00:44:19,385
You better watch your mouth, before I
stick these goddamn handcuffs up your ass.
960
00:44:19,418 --> 00:44:21,520
Don't eyeball me, boy.
961
00:44:21,553 --> 00:44:23,389
Let's go.
962
00:44:25,424 --> 00:44:28,160
Carl, why are you
here with the police?
963
00:44:28,193 --> 00:44:29,995
What did the neighbor
do to you?
964
00:44:30,029 --> 00:44:32,431
This is what happens when you
keep messing with the neighbors.
965
00:44:32,464 --> 00:44:34,033
Why are you blamin'
him for everything?
966
00:44:34,066 --> 00:44:35,968
Because clearly, I see
you out here too.
967
00:44:36,001 --> 00:44:38,170
For real, this is your plan.
Don't try to put this on me.
968
00:44:38,203 --> 00:44:40,039
- We're movin' out.
- What do you mean? Wait!
969
00:44:40,072 --> 00:44:41,874
- Without you.
- How you gonna move out without me?
970
00:44:41,907 --> 00:44:43,409
- We family.
- No. We not family.
971
00:44:43,442 --> 00:44:45,311
You're just my cousin
that fucks up everything.
972
00:44:45,344 --> 00:44:46,478
- That's family.
- You know what?
973
00:44:46,512 --> 00:44:48,847
I'm tired of you
always blamin' him.
974
00:44:48,881 --> 00:44:51,183
Look right here. This is what it's
about, me and you. You're messing up.
975
00:44:59,258 --> 00:45:01,360
- Babe. I can explain.
- You should be ashamed of yourself.
976
00:45:01,393 --> 00:45:04,897
The motherfucker was trying to
disrespect me in front of my daughter.
977
00:45:04,930 --> 00:45:07,299
I'm tired of you
embarrassing our family.
978
00:45:08,967 --> 00:45:10,903
You owe that man
an apology.
979
00:45:10,936 --> 00:45:12,438
Babe...
980
00:45:14,073 --> 00:45:16,508
I don't know
if this is it for us.
981
00:45:16,542 --> 00:45:20,346
I used to think it was the house,
the neighborhood, your book.
982
00:45:20,379 --> 00:45:23,015
But it's not.
983
00:45:23,048 --> 00:45:25,617
It's you.
984
00:45:25,652 --> 00:45:27,419
It's you and I
that don't work.
985
00:45:33,092 --> 00:45:36,562
I got to go back to work.
So you figure that out.
986
00:45:38,397 --> 00:45:41,900
I'll apologize.
I'll go apologize.
987
00:45:41,934 --> 00:45:45,337
I don't have a problem
apologizing to him.
988
00:45:45,371 --> 00:45:48,006
Attack and bring me my wife.
989
00:45:49,575 --> 00:45:51,610
Right this
way, Mr. Black.
990
00:45:51,644 --> 00:45:54,079
The good doctor'll be here
to deal with you shortly.
991
00:45:54,113 --> 00:45:56,148
Hey, man. Did you
just change your accent?
992
00:45:56,181 --> 00:45:59,318
Where'd he go? What the fuck
was he saying?
993
00:46:01,153 --> 00:46:03,255
Wow.
994
00:46:03,288 --> 00:46:04,490
It's nice, though.
995
00:46:07,993 --> 00:46:09,261
- Carl Black.
- Hey!
996
00:46:09,294 --> 00:46:12,131
What the fuck!
Jesus, Buddha, Allah!
997
00:46:13,666 --> 00:46:15,968
Is every place in here creepy?
998
00:46:16,001 --> 00:46:18,671
I thought I smelled
failure in here.
999
00:46:18,705 --> 00:46:23,108
And I thought I smelled Celine
Dion's wig also in here.
1000
00:46:23,142 --> 00:46:25,544
You're a funny
motherfucker, Carl.
1001
00:46:25,577 --> 00:46:29,181
And I don't just mean that
dumb expression on your face.
1002
00:46:29,214 --> 00:46:32,719
Yeah? Well, look,
let me be straight up with you, all right?
1003
00:46:32,752 --> 00:46:34,286
- Thank you.
- I don't like you.
1004
00:46:34,319 --> 00:46:35,487
First time I seen you,
1005
00:46:35,521 --> 00:46:37,724
- just didn't like you.
- Okay.
1006
00:46:37,757 --> 00:46:41,994
My wife sent me over here to apologize
to you and that's what I want to do.
1007
00:46:42,027 --> 00:46:44,496
I want to apologize,
but I just want to let you know,
1008
00:46:44,530 --> 00:46:46,999
I don't give a fuck.
1009
00:46:47,032 --> 00:46:48,367
We getting the fuck out
of this neighborhood.
1010
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:51,003
Well, that's very
interesting, Green Lantern,
1011
00:46:51,036 --> 00:46:53,172
but you can't leave
just yet.
1012
00:46:53,205 --> 00:46:54,674
Oh, yes, I can! Shit!
1013
00:46:54,707 --> 00:46:56,175
My lease is up next month.
1014
00:46:58,377 --> 00:46:59,478
What's this?
1015
00:46:59,511 --> 00:47:01,380
There's something
I want from you
1016
00:47:01,413 --> 00:47:03,549
and you're not
leaving until I get it.
1017
00:47:03,582 --> 00:47:06,485
Man, I hope it's my nuts
for these girls.
1018
00:47:06,518 --> 00:47:08,053
No!
1019
00:47:09,722 --> 00:47:13,292
My book.
You like my book?
1020
00:47:13,325 --> 00:47:15,527
I told you I was a fan
of your book.
1021
00:47:15,561 --> 00:47:17,996
- That is crazy.
- It was magnificent.
1022
00:47:18,030 --> 00:47:19,198
You like my book.
1023
00:47:19,231 --> 00:47:21,300
I like you
and your family, Carl.
1024
00:47:21,333 --> 00:47:22,534
And not everybody
in my family
1025
00:47:22,568 --> 00:47:24,570
agreed with you moving in
next door to us.
1026
00:47:24,603 --> 00:47:26,305
Your wife.
1027
00:47:26,338 --> 00:47:28,607
My wife? Lorena?
1028
00:47:28,641 --> 00:47:30,209
Lorena.
1029
00:47:30,242 --> 00:47:33,378
Oh, no. She ain't...
she ain't into no pimping shit.
1030
00:47:33,412 --> 00:47:35,682
She ain't into no pimping shit
and I ain't either, okay?
1031
00:47:35,715 --> 00:47:37,382
Tried it, didn't like it.
1032
00:47:37,416 --> 00:47:41,520
And my daughter?
That's off limits.
1033
00:47:41,553 --> 00:47:44,289
You're too grown to be messing
with anybody's daughter.
1034
00:47:44,323 --> 00:47:46,258
Ain't no man gonna let you
mess with they daughter.
1035
00:47:46,291 --> 00:47:49,461
She's still a little girl.
She's still doing Juicy Juices.
1036
00:47:49,495 --> 00:47:52,231
She's not a grown lady.
She don't know what YAK is,
1037
00:47:52,264 --> 00:47:54,166
nor does she know
what Gray Goose is.
1038
00:47:54,199 --> 00:47:57,737
I had no idea how old she was.
She was my size.
1039
00:47:57,770 --> 00:48:00,239
Keep your little
one, two, three, four, five,
1040
00:48:00,272 --> 00:48:03,810
six, seven, eight, nine,
ten, eleven, twelve fingers
1041
00:48:03,843 --> 00:48:06,144
away from my daughter,
blah-blah.
1042
00:48:06,178 --> 00:48:07,379
Big mistake.
1043
00:48:07,412 --> 00:48:08,715
Don't fuck with my daughter.
1044
00:48:08,748 --> 00:48:11,183
And Cronut,
he's a character.
1045
00:48:11,216 --> 00:48:13,085
Oh, Cronut?
You can have him.
1046
00:48:13,118 --> 00:48:16,388
Ugh. No one wants Cronut.
1047
00:48:16,421 --> 00:48:17,724
You can fuck him
if you want.
1048
00:48:19,324 --> 00:48:21,728
He's crazy.
He's the one that think
1049
00:48:21,761 --> 00:48:25,464
Michael Jackson and Biggie
and Tupac is still living,
1050
00:48:25,497 --> 00:48:28,133
and-and thinks O.J.
didn't do it.
1051
00:48:28,166 --> 00:48:29,769
He's got a whole lot
of shit in his head.
1052
00:48:29,802 --> 00:48:32,639
And he gave me some crazy
theories about you too.
1053
00:48:32,672 --> 00:48:36,408
I'mma go ahead and sign this autograph
'fore I can get on out of here.
1054
00:48:38,477 --> 00:48:41,380
And what was his theory
about me?
1055
00:48:41,413 --> 00:48:45,217
We still don't know why you
moved in the neighborhood...
1056
00:49:02,467 --> 00:49:05,772
What the fuck!
What's wrong with you?
1057
00:49:05,805 --> 00:49:08,808
Egad, Carl Black.
1058
00:49:08,841 --> 00:49:11,476
Do I detect hostility
in your voice?
1059
00:49:11,510 --> 00:49:13,145
I thought we were cool now.
1060
00:49:13,178 --> 00:49:14,446
No, we're not cool!
1061
00:49:14,479 --> 00:49:18,350
And you do detect
hostility in my voice.
1062
00:49:18,383 --> 00:49:20,820
You got a picture of my wife
naked on your fucking wall!
1063
00:49:20,853 --> 00:49:22,789
I ain't even got
a picture of this bitch.
1064
00:49:22,822 --> 00:49:25,123
- Did you photoshop the picture?
- No.
1065
00:49:26,558 --> 00:49:27,727
No, that's her.
1066
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:31,831
I bet I know what Cronut
thinks about me.
1067
00:49:31,864 --> 00:49:34,399
You know what?
1068
00:49:34,433 --> 00:49:37,837
He was right.
1069
00:50:00,827 --> 00:50:02,662
What are you doing?
1070
00:50:02,695 --> 00:50:04,429
Be quiet.
I know what I'm doing.
1071
00:50:04,463 --> 00:50:06,264
Would you...
Dad, come on.
1072
00:50:06,298 --> 00:50:08,367
Son, I got something
I need to talk to you about.
1073
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:10,168
All right.
1074
00:50:10,202 --> 00:50:12,571
We got a vampire living next door!
I've seen him!
1075
00:50:12,604 --> 00:50:15,540
- Hey, that's cool!
- I think I've seen that dude.
1076
00:50:15,574 --> 00:50:17,309
What's so...
What the fuck is wrong...
1077
00:50:17,342 --> 00:50:18,711
What's cool about that?
1078
00:50:18,745 --> 00:50:21,480
Dad, Dad, just relax.
Just call the cops.
1079
00:50:21,513 --> 00:50:22,815
I can't call the cops.
1080
00:50:22,849 --> 00:50:24,684
Okay, everybody knows
the vampire rules.
1081
00:50:24,717 --> 00:50:26,485
Like, a vampire
cannot come in your house
1082
00:50:26,518 --> 00:50:28,921
unless you invite him in.
Did you invite him in?
1083
00:50:28,955 --> 00:50:30,723
- No. I didn't invite him in.
- All right.
1084
00:50:30,757 --> 00:50:32,290
All right, then you're good.
That's good.
1085
00:50:32,324 --> 00:50:33,660
- I'm cool. Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1086
00:50:33,693 --> 00:50:35,260
Come on now.
Everybody knows that.
1087
00:50:35,293 --> 00:50:36,796
It's in literally
every vampire comic book.
1088
00:50:36,829 --> 00:50:37,897
Every one.
1089
00:50:37,930 --> 00:50:41,533
Oh, man.
You got some weed?
1090
00:50:41,566 --> 00:50:43,402
Dad, what?
Just leave. Just leave.
1091
00:50:44,637 --> 00:50:46,338
I know who got it.
1092
00:50:46,371 --> 00:50:48,373
No, he doesn't. He's kidding.
Bro, shut up.
1093
00:50:48,407 --> 00:50:49,876
- A dime bag? Twenty?
- No, no. Leave. Leave. He's kidding.
1094
00:50:49,909 --> 00:50:52,377
He's kidding. He's kidding.
Go take a nap.
1095
00:50:52,411 --> 00:50:54,647
- But I do.
- Just be quiet. Just stop.
1096
00:51:03,890 --> 00:51:06,224
I'm gonna watch you
all night, motherfucker.
1097
00:51:37,023 --> 00:51:39,524
Don't invite him in.
1098
00:51:47,967 --> 00:51:49,869
Oh, shit.
1099
00:51:55,540 --> 00:51:56,709
Give me your money.
1100
00:51:56,743 --> 00:51:58,376
Please don't hurt me.
1101
00:51:58,410 --> 00:51:59,746
Please don't hurt...
1102
00:52:24,402 --> 00:52:26,438
Hi, Carl.
1103
00:52:32,577 --> 00:52:34,781
No.
1104
00:52:36,048 --> 00:52:37,884
No.
I'm being serious.
1105
00:52:37,917 --> 00:52:41,788
I'm telling you, it's been an
interesting week and I apologize.
1106
00:52:41,821 --> 00:52:44,857
I feel the timing of it all
is pretty, um, special,
1107
00:52:44,891 --> 00:52:48,560
that you would... I don't know where
you came from, but I appreciate it.
1108
00:52:48,593 --> 00:52:51,831
And I think it's important
that we met tonight
1109
00:52:51,864 --> 00:52:54,000
because I wanted to really
apologize for the other night.
1110
00:52:54,033 --> 00:52:56,669
I know my husband
was in there tonight.
1111
00:52:56,702 --> 00:52:59,337
Is everything okay?
Mamuwalde, right?
1112
00:52:59,371 --> 00:53:02,340
I have to, um, really
get this out,
1113
00:53:02,374 --> 00:53:05,778
because I feel like I'm having a little
bit of an out-of-body experience,
1114
00:53:05,812 --> 00:53:09,749
because I typically don't invite
complete strangers into my house
1115
00:53:09,782 --> 00:53:13,019
to have a glass of wine.
In this case...
1116
00:53:13,052 --> 00:53:14,954
Don't invite him in.
1117
00:53:19,091 --> 00:53:21,560
- Hey.
- Thank you. I appreciate that.
1118
00:53:23,595 --> 00:53:24,964
What you doing?
1119
00:53:24,997 --> 00:53:26,732
Baby, hi.
Hi. Were you sleeping?
1120
00:53:26,766 --> 00:53:29,869
What is he doing here?
He's not supposed to be here.
1121
00:53:29,902 --> 00:53:32,772
Where are your manners, baby?
This is Dr. Mamuwalde.
1122
00:53:32,805 --> 00:53:34,907
- Our neighbor from earlier...
- I know what you doing!
1123
00:53:34,941 --> 00:53:36,776
Yes, where are
your manners, baby?
1124
00:53:36,809 --> 00:53:38,744
He's not supposed
to be in this house.
1125
00:53:38,778 --> 00:53:40,612
I invited him to have
a glass of wine with me
1126
00:53:40,646 --> 00:53:42,380
because if anything,
we owe him a thank you.
1127
00:53:42,414 --> 00:53:44,050
- I don't wanna hear all that.
- If it wasn't for our neighbor,
1128
00:53:44,083 --> 00:53:45,651
I would have gotten
mugged tonight.
1129
00:53:45,685 --> 00:53:47,787
You got mugged?
1130
00:53:47,820 --> 00:53:49,454
He swooped... Where did you come from?
Where? How did you get there?
1131
00:53:49,487 --> 00:53:51,757
- Swooped.
- What happened?
1132
00:53:51,791 --> 00:53:55,695
Fortunately for you, I happened to be in
the area looking for a late-night snack
1133
00:53:55,728 --> 00:53:59,632
and happened to stumble
upon your tastiness.
1134
00:53:59,665 --> 00:54:01,100
He's not supposed
to be in our home.
1135
00:54:01,133 --> 00:54:03,435
He was not invited by no one.
1136
00:54:03,468 --> 00:54:05,503
Under ordinary circumstances,
1137
00:54:05,537 --> 00:54:07,707
Carl Black here
would be right,
1138
00:54:07,740 --> 00:54:10,575
- but I was invited, Carl.
- You know the rules.
1139
00:54:10,609 --> 00:54:13,112
- His kind is not invited in our house.
- Listen...
1140
00:54:13,145 --> 00:54:15,480
- My kind?
- Yeah.
1141
00:54:15,513 --> 00:54:19,051
That is a racist
statement, Negro.
1142
00:54:19,085 --> 00:54:21,153
I'll have you know,
1143
00:54:21,187 --> 00:54:25,124
in this age of divisiveness
and bigotry,
1144
00:54:25,157 --> 00:54:27,626
we can't do this
to each other.
1145
00:54:28,794 --> 00:54:29,962
Sheesh!
1146
00:54:29,996 --> 00:54:32,131
Yes. Baby, listen,
please just calm down.
1147
00:54:32,164 --> 00:54:34,166
We got a real live
vampire in my house
1148
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:35,701
and you're telling me
to calm down?
1149
00:54:35,735 --> 00:54:38,004
If I had a wife as fine
as yours,
1150
00:54:38,037 --> 00:54:40,740
I'd never let her out
of my sight.
1151
00:54:40,773 --> 00:54:43,175
Hey, man! What-what-what
you doing? You can't do that, man.
1152
00:54:43,209 --> 00:54:44,911
What the fuck!
What if I grab your hair, man?
1153
00:54:44,944 --> 00:54:48,613
Do not...
1154
00:54:48,648 --> 00:54:51,483
touch my hair,
Carl Black.
1155
00:54:51,516 --> 00:54:52,885
You got two Bo Derek braids
1156
00:54:52,919 --> 00:54:54,452
hanging on both
sides of your face
1157
00:54:54,486 --> 00:54:56,689
and you gon' touch
on my girl's shit.
1158
00:54:56,722 --> 00:54:58,958
Baby, just calm down, okay?
1159
00:54:58,991 --> 00:55:01,060
Okay, that's enough. That's enough.
1160
00:55:01,093 --> 00:55:03,162
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- What are you doing, Carl?
1161
00:55:03,195 --> 00:55:04,931
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.
1162
00:55:04,964 --> 00:55:07,033
- Ouch!
- You know I'm clumsy a little bit.
1163
00:55:28,586 --> 00:55:31,757
That looks
exquisitely painful.
1164
00:55:31,791 --> 00:55:33,960
Ah-ah-ah. Go in there
and rinse your arm off.
1165
00:55:33,993 --> 00:55:35,728
- I got it, Carl. I got it.
- Yeah, you cut your hand
1166
00:55:35,761 --> 00:55:38,130
'cause you're standing up there
reckless eyeballing.
1167
00:55:38,164 --> 00:55:39,699
I got it.
Dr. Mamuwalde,
1168
00:55:39,732 --> 00:55:42,101
it was really,
really nice to meet you.
1169
00:55:42,134 --> 00:55:44,569
- Well, go wash your hand, baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Yeah, I'm...
1170
00:55:44,602 --> 00:55:45,738
Put a band-aid on it.
1171
00:55:45,771 --> 00:55:48,040
O-positive we'll see
each other again.
1172
00:55:48,074 --> 00:55:51,010
Listen, you little neglected
Harry Potter cast member,
1173
00:55:51,043 --> 00:55:52,945
let me tell you something.
1174
00:55:52,979 --> 00:55:56,182
That's my princess,
and that's my wife, and I love her.
1175
00:55:56,215 --> 00:55:58,250
You're not going
to destroy my family!
1176
00:55:58,284 --> 00:56:01,586
What do you intend
to do about it, Carl Black?
1177
00:56:01,619 --> 00:56:03,923
Install my cable,
motherfucker?
1178
00:56:03,956 --> 00:56:05,791
Nah.
1179
00:56:05,825 --> 00:56:10,595
I'm gonna pimp-slap the shit
out of your ass, motherfucker!
1180
00:56:13,699 --> 00:56:15,001
Damn, you're strong!
1181
00:56:15,034 --> 00:56:18,804
Let me tell you
a little story.
1182
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:24,777
I've been looking
for Lorena for centuries.
1183
00:56:24,810 --> 00:56:29,614
I first laid eyes on that fine
young thing in the Caribbean.
1184
00:56:29,648 --> 00:56:33,085
Lost her, found her again.
1185
00:56:33,119 --> 00:56:37,790
I've seen all types of women
in all shapes and sizes,
1186
00:56:37,823 --> 00:56:41,961
but none compare
to the governor's daughter.
1187
00:56:41,994 --> 00:56:43,696
We were in love
1188
00:56:43,729 --> 00:56:46,899
and I was finally
going to make her mine.
1189
00:57:00,212 --> 00:57:03,115
You were warned, vampire.
1190
00:57:03,983 --> 00:57:08,988
Tonight's the night
that I send your soul to hell!
1191
00:57:09,021 --> 00:57:10,990
Demon!
1192
00:57:11,023 --> 00:57:13,726
Come, woman.
1193
00:57:13,759 --> 00:57:15,995
No. No. No!
1194
00:57:16,028 --> 00:57:18,998
They took the love
of my life from me
1195
00:57:19,031 --> 00:57:23,202
and I have been looking for my
Puerto Rican princess ever since.
1196
00:57:27,239 --> 00:57:30,709
Go to hell, vampire.
1197
00:57:34,246 --> 00:57:37,216
They took my life.
1198
00:57:39,952 --> 00:57:41,887
Man, that was a cool story!
1199
00:57:41,921 --> 00:57:46,659
But the real fact is,
is that's my wife, and I love her.
1200
00:57:46,692 --> 00:57:48,260
And you're not gonna
destroy my family.
1201
00:57:48,294 --> 00:57:51,864
You're doing a pretty
good job of that yourself.
1202
00:57:51,897 --> 00:57:53,299
What the fuck?
1203
00:57:53,332 --> 00:57:55,234
She will be mine.
1204
00:57:58,671 --> 00:58:01,006
No, no!
1205
00:58:02,308 --> 00:58:03,876
Mine...
1206
00:58:03,909 --> 00:58:05,377
Carl Black!
1207
00:58:14,386 --> 00:58:17,323
The authorities
are still in shambles
1208
00:58:17,356 --> 00:58:19,658
as they scurry about for clues
1209
00:58:19,692 --> 00:58:22,728
- in the murders of these prostitutes.
- Wow.
1210
00:58:22,761 --> 00:58:26,098
If anyone out there has any
information or any leads...
1211
00:58:26,132 --> 00:58:28,100
- Damn.
- ...feel free
1212
00:58:28,134 --> 00:58:31,137
to DM me personally at jack...
1213
00:58:31,170 --> 00:58:33,706
Hey, babe. Hey, hey.
1214
00:58:33,739 --> 00:58:36,075
- How's your arm?
- It's better. It's feeling good.
1215
00:58:36,108 --> 00:58:38,210
- I gotta go to work. What?
- No!
1216
00:58:38,244 --> 00:58:39,712
- Why you gotta go to work?
- Because you put me in this situation.
1217
00:58:39,745 --> 00:58:40,946
I got to go to work
to pay the bills.
1218
00:58:40,980 --> 00:58:43,349
Let me pay you
for the night.
1219
00:58:43,382 --> 00:58:45,751
You can't afford me
for the night.
1220
00:58:47,019 --> 00:58:49,188
- Listen, I love you.
- I know.
1221
00:58:49,221 --> 00:58:51,290
I-I just want to get you guys
out of this neighborhood.
1222
00:58:51,323 --> 00:58:53,726
Okay. Wait, wait,
call me crazy.
1223
00:58:53,759 --> 00:58:55,961
I-I'm just throwing
this out there.
1224
00:58:55,995 --> 00:58:58,430
I'm having second thoughts
about selling the house.
1225
00:58:58,464 --> 00:59:00,132
- What?
- I don't know,
1226
00:59:00,166 --> 00:59:02,168
ever since I met
the neighbor last night,
1227
00:59:02,201 --> 00:59:05,471
- the way that he was helping me or the way that he...
- Hey, hey.
1228
00:59:05,504 --> 00:59:08,941
- No, but maybe it's not such a bad neighborhood, babe.
- No, no, no, no, no. No!
1229
00:59:08,974 --> 00:59:10,910
- Wait, wait. He's a nice guy.
- Baby, listen. No! That... no.
1230
00:59:10,943 --> 00:59:13,279
He's not no fucking nice...
what did I tell you about liking people?
1231
00:59:13,312 --> 00:59:15,381
- Liking?
- You always liking somebody.
1232
00:59:15,414 --> 00:59:17,716
- No! Hey!
- He saved me.
1233
00:59:17,750 --> 00:59:19,251
Relax. Let's put
this to rest
1234
00:59:19,285 --> 00:59:20,953
until I come home
from work tonight, okay?
1235
00:59:20,986 --> 00:59:22,755
And we can talk
about it then.
1236
00:59:22,788 --> 00:59:25,224
- I got something I want to tell you.
- What?
1237
00:59:25,257 --> 00:59:26,859
The next-door neighbor...
1238
00:59:26,892 --> 00:59:28,427
- Yeah?
- He's a vampire.
1239
00:59:28,460 --> 00:59:29,962
A vampire.
1240
00:59:29,995 --> 00:59:31,463
- He's a fucking vampire.
- Okay.
1241
00:59:31,497 --> 00:59:33,465
A vampire.
You're crazy.
1242
00:59:33,499 --> 00:59:34,733
You're just jealous.
1243
00:59:38,137 --> 00:59:41,240
Cronut, let me in.
There's a vampire living next door.
1244
00:59:56,355 --> 00:59:57,790
Cronut?
1245
01:00:02,328 --> 01:00:03,295
Eww.
1246
01:00:09,501 --> 01:00:12,004
What's wrong with you?
Die, vampire!
1247
01:00:12,037 --> 01:00:14,907
- Die, vampire! Die!
- Let me go. Let me go. Let me go!
1248
01:00:14,940 --> 01:00:17,042
Get up off of me, man.
1249
01:00:17,076 --> 01:00:18,944
Fuck you doing in my house all uninvited?
I didn't invite you in here.
1250
01:00:18,978 --> 01:00:20,446
Why you sneaking up
on me like that?
1251
01:00:20,479 --> 01:00:22,915
Why am I sneaking up on you?
This is my house!
1252
01:00:22,948 --> 01:00:24,149
Fuck you doing
up in my house?
1253
01:00:24,183 --> 01:00:25,451
I thought you won't fuck
with me no more.
1254
01:00:25,484 --> 01:00:26,885
Whoa.
1255
01:00:26,919 --> 01:00:28,220
Why you got
them damn glasses on?
1256
01:00:28,254 --> 01:00:29,788
Why you care?
You don't like 'em?
1257
01:00:29,822 --> 01:00:31,056
They don't go
with my 'fit?
1258
01:00:31,090 --> 01:00:32,825
- No.
- What... what you want?
1259
01:00:32,858 --> 01:00:35,294
Shit. I, well, I just...
1260
01:00:35,327 --> 01:00:37,096
Hey, man, look.
1261
01:00:37,129 --> 01:00:38,831
All right.
You was right.
1262
01:00:38,864 --> 01:00:41,300
We do have a creature
living next door to us.
1263
01:00:41,333 --> 01:00:43,068
It's a real vampire, man.
1264
01:00:43,102 --> 01:00:44,403
I seen his teeth!
1265
01:00:44,436 --> 01:00:47,473
I thought you was lying
at first, but he's real.
1266
01:00:47,506 --> 01:00:50,309
And he already got Allie,
and I don't want him to get my wife!
1267
01:00:50,342 --> 01:00:52,111
And?
1268
01:00:52,144 --> 01:00:54,880
And that's about the closest
to an apology you gon' get.
1269
01:00:54,913 --> 01:00:56,849
I've been
doing my research
1270
01:00:56,882 --> 01:00:58,484
and what I came up with?
1271
01:00:58,517 --> 01:01:00,252
That house right over there?
1272
01:01:00,286 --> 01:01:02,554
It's a master vampire over
there, and that's the nest.
1273
01:01:02,588 --> 01:01:04,056
And we should kill him.
1274
01:01:04,089 --> 01:01:06,292
- What?
- We should kill him.
1275
01:01:06,325 --> 01:01:08,494
We, we.
That's French. We?
1276
01:01:08,527 --> 01:01:11,397
Yes, it is we.
Ain't no I in us.
1277
01:01:11,430 --> 01:01:14,967
It's we. Me and you.
We family.
1278
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,202
Yeah.
Whatever.
1279
01:01:17,236 --> 01:01:19,071
We should kill
that motherfucker.
1280
01:01:19,104 --> 01:01:20,939
Let's bury him
in the ground, man.
1281
01:01:20,973 --> 01:01:22,241
Just leave his head out
1282
01:01:22,274 --> 01:01:24,243
and just kick him
in the head all day.
1283
01:01:24,276 --> 01:01:26,278
Check this out.
What's my name?
1284
01:01:26,312 --> 01:01:28,347
- Cronut.
- No, what's my real name?
1285
01:01:28,380 --> 01:01:30,249
- Man, look, man. Stop playing.
- Mr. what?
1286
01:01:30,282 --> 01:01:32,051
- Mister?
- Mr. Right.
1287
01:01:32,084 --> 01:01:34,953
Mr. Right.
You want to get rid of the vampire?
1288
01:01:34,987 --> 01:01:37,890
- Yeah.
- Trust me. I made a call.
1289
01:01:41,093 --> 01:01:43,062
- Who is that? Is that Barack Obama?
- Trust me.
1290
01:01:43,095 --> 01:01:45,331
Not quite,
but close.
1291
01:01:50,169 --> 01:01:51,070
Oooh.
1292
01:01:53,906 --> 01:01:58,243
Oh. Did you see that African
booty scratcher come out of there?
1293
01:01:58,277 --> 01:01:59,578
- Yes.
- No!
1294
01:01:59,611 --> 01:02:01,914
- Yes.
- Why'd you call him?
1295
01:02:01,947 --> 01:02:03,449
- Just trust me.
- Oh, man.
1296
01:02:03,482 --> 01:02:05,417
- Have I ever let you down?
- Yeah, a million times.
1297
01:02:05,451 --> 01:02:07,386
Don't worry about that.
That don't count.
1298
01:02:07,419 --> 01:02:09,555
- Oh, man. Look how he dressed.
- It looks crazy.
1299
01:02:09,588 --> 01:02:11,190
- Don't worry about it.
- Whoopi Goldberg.
1300
01:02:11,223 --> 01:02:13,525
- You smell a vampire?
- Not yet, wait.
1301
01:02:13,559 --> 01:02:16,395
Right now,
I smell fear.
1302
01:02:16,428 --> 01:02:19,498
- Fear?
- And I smell broke-ass-ness
1303
01:02:19,531 --> 01:02:21,367
coming from this direction.
1304
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:24,136
- Broke-ass-ness?
- No, you smell your bottom lip.
1305
01:02:24,169 --> 01:02:25,604
Last but not least,
I smell...
1306
01:02:28,407 --> 01:02:30,509
two bitch-ass niggas.
1307
01:02:30,542 --> 01:02:33,212
That's why you called me to
save you like I did the Purge.
1308
01:02:33,245 --> 01:02:34,947
Saved me? You ain't
saved me from nothin'!
1309
01:02:34,980 --> 01:02:37,049
You better take
your Black ass off.
1310
01:02:37,082 --> 01:02:39,151
- Punk bitch nigga, you owe me money!
- I don't owe you nothin'.
1311
01:02:39,184 --> 01:02:41,387
You little dick bitch.
You pee on your boss.
1312
01:02:41,420 --> 01:02:44,022
- Fuck you too.
- I hope your wife get pregnant again
1313
01:02:44,056 --> 01:02:45,958
and I hope the baby
is not yours.
1314
01:02:45,991 --> 01:02:46,992
You kiss my ass!
1315
01:02:47,025 --> 01:02:48,327
Your mother,
your grandfather,
1316
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:50,229
your uncles are all
the same nigga.
1317
01:02:50,262 --> 01:02:51,997
I know you work
for that cab company.
1318
01:02:52,030 --> 01:02:53,700
You need to get back in there
and drive that cab, so...
1319
01:02:53,733 --> 01:02:55,367
- Carl Black, you owe me money!
- Hey, hey, hey.
1320
01:02:55,401 --> 01:02:57,369
Calm down, calm down. I got it.
I got it, calm down.
1321
01:02:57,403 --> 01:02:59,271
- This nigga is pissing me off.
- If you calm down a little
1322
01:02:59,304 --> 01:03:01,373
- for a second. Look...
- Don't you hit my head.
1323
01:03:01,407 --> 01:03:03,542
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey.
1324
01:03:03,575 --> 01:03:06,178
Look, I promised him I'd show
him some crazy spooky shit
1325
01:03:06,211 --> 01:03:08,648
if I recorded it and put it
on his live TV show.
1326
01:03:08,681 --> 01:03:10,282
- On YouTube?
- Yeah.
1327
01:03:10,315 --> 01:03:11,517
- You ain't got no followers.
- He's popular.
1328
01:03:11,550 --> 01:03:13,653
Five hundred thousand
subscribers.
1329
01:03:13,686 --> 01:03:16,054
I got a live vampire
livin' next door to me.
1330
01:03:16,088 --> 01:03:17,022
That's what I got.
1331
01:03:17,055 --> 01:03:18,524
Nigga,
that's why I'm here.
1332
01:03:18,557 --> 01:03:19,992
- That's why I brought these!
- Hey, hey!
1333
01:03:20,025 --> 01:03:21,661
Put your leftovers down, man.
1334
01:03:21,694 --> 01:03:25,330
You must listen to me because
I am a vampire slayer.
1335
01:03:25,364 --> 01:03:27,366
The vampires
are very dangerous.
1336
01:03:27,399 --> 01:03:29,401
They will kill you.
1337
01:03:29,435 --> 01:03:32,639
He will suck your blood.
He could be after your wife.
1338
01:03:32,672 --> 01:03:35,007
You have a wife. I know that.
I've seen her.
1339
01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:36,643
She have a nice ass.
No disrespect.
1340
01:03:36,676 --> 01:03:38,610
Tell me about these niggas,
please. What did he look like?
1341
01:03:38,645 --> 01:03:40,612
He's bite-size,
he's real short.
1342
01:03:40,647 --> 01:03:42,147
How short is he?
1343
01:03:42,181 --> 01:03:44,116
He's short. He's... he's,
you know, he's...
1344
01:03:44,149 --> 01:03:45,617
Between you and this nigga,
where is he?
1345
01:03:45,652 --> 01:03:47,219
Like this way? This way?
That way? Under the table?
1346
01:03:47,252 --> 01:03:48,987
- Pocket size.
- Pocket size nigga?
1347
01:03:49,021 --> 01:03:50,556
He got like a little perm.
1348
01:03:50,589 --> 01:03:52,759
He looked like that
little man on the dime.
1349
01:03:52,792 --> 01:03:54,493
- What dime?
- The dime.
1350
01:03:54,526 --> 01:03:56,562
- The dime, motherfucker. The dime.
- Dime. Ten cents.
1351
01:03:56,595 --> 01:03:58,363
Ten cents a day,
like what you eat.
1352
01:03:58,397 --> 01:04:00,365
Shut the fuck up, little bitch nigga.
Fuck you.
1353
01:04:00,399 --> 01:04:03,035
If I had a choice
between the vampires,
1354
01:04:03,068 --> 01:04:05,504
the devil and Donald Trump,
1355
01:04:05,537 --> 01:04:07,573
I would take Donald Trump.
1356
01:04:07,606 --> 01:04:11,410
The question is now he's trying
to take your family away,
1357
01:04:11,443 --> 01:04:13,512
- what are you are gonna do?
- Hey, hey, hey!
1358
01:04:13,545 --> 01:04:15,682
We're not the vampire.
You don't have to keep putting that on us.
1359
01:04:15,715 --> 01:04:18,617
Don't be a bitch!
If I want to talk to a little nigga,
1360
01:04:18,651 --> 01:04:20,252
I go to Chuck E. Cheese.
1361
01:04:22,087 --> 01:04:24,056
Either you gon' help me,
or you gon' help me,
1362
01:04:24,089 --> 01:04:25,324
somebody's gonna help me
1363
01:04:25,357 --> 01:04:26,659
or I'm going up in there
with a wooden thing
1364
01:04:26,693 --> 01:04:28,627
- and I'm gonna stab him in the...
- Mm.
1365
01:04:28,661 --> 01:04:31,731
I'm telling you! You know how...
I'm going up in there and...
1366
01:04:31,764 --> 01:04:33,499
Hey!
1367
01:04:33,532 --> 01:04:35,567
- You guys are crazier'n shit!
- Who the fuck is that?
1368
01:04:37,603 --> 01:04:40,105
Carl Black,
I'm all you have.
1369
01:04:40,138 --> 01:04:42,274
You must save your wife
1370
01:04:42,307 --> 01:04:44,109
before it's too late.
1371
01:05:06,164 --> 01:05:07,432
Fellas, listen to me.
1372
01:05:07,466 --> 01:05:10,335
The vampire is
very tricky and old.
1373
01:05:10,369 --> 01:05:14,339
It has survived many
centuries because he's smart.
1374
01:05:14,373 --> 01:05:17,777
Much smarter than your stupid
ignorant ass, Carl Black.
1375
01:05:17,810 --> 01:05:21,480
That insidious bastard
is a master vampire.
1376
01:05:21,513 --> 01:05:23,382
A master vampire?
1377
01:05:23,415 --> 01:05:27,519
He's not to be played with.
That means he has companions.
1378
01:05:27,553 --> 01:05:30,222
- Companions?
- We have a lot more to deal with.
1379
01:05:30,255 --> 01:05:31,691
You have to get
to know your enemy.
1380
01:05:31,724 --> 01:05:33,258
I thought I knew him.
1381
01:05:33,292 --> 01:05:34,861
And how about his crew?
Do you know them?
1382
01:05:34,894 --> 01:05:37,630
His crew? What?
The butler?
1383
01:05:37,664 --> 01:05:41,266
Butler?! That's not a butler!
That's his ghoul!
1384
01:05:41,300 --> 01:05:42,702
What is a ghoul?
1385
01:05:42,735 --> 01:05:45,672
This is not the time
to be a bitch, Carl Black.
1386
01:05:45,705 --> 01:05:48,307
A ghoul is very dangerous.
1387
01:05:48,340 --> 01:05:50,542
- What about those fine-ass girls he had in there?
- Yeah. They was fine.
1388
01:05:50,576 --> 01:05:52,679
- Cronut!
- I liked them.
1389
01:05:52,712 --> 01:05:56,148
Those are not
average fine-ass girls.
1390
01:05:56,181 --> 01:05:59,251
Those are his bodyguards.
They are murderous.
1391
01:05:59,284 --> 01:06:00,720
What?
1392
01:06:00,753 --> 01:06:03,255
The more beautiful they are,
the more dangerous.
1393
01:06:03,288 --> 01:06:05,725
This is getting more serious
than I imagined.
1394
01:06:05,758 --> 01:06:08,393
What's this shit?
It was addressed to him.
1395
01:06:08,427 --> 01:06:10,362
He got a little chain on.
He got your same facial structure...
1396
01:06:10,395 --> 01:06:12,732
Don't be a dick face.
Give me that.
1397
01:06:22,307 --> 01:06:24,744
It is nothing.
Just some stupid fucking doll.
1398
01:06:24,777 --> 01:06:26,578
- Put it away.
- Are you sure?
1399
01:06:26,612 --> 01:06:28,146
How we going to kill
this motherfucker?
1400
01:06:28,180 --> 01:06:29,816
- Dad. Dad. I got an idea.
- What?
1401
01:06:29,849 --> 01:06:32,250
I turned the Purge bats
into stakes.
1402
01:06:32,284 --> 01:06:34,353
If you stab a vampire
with it, it'll die.
1403
01:06:34,386 --> 01:06:37,690
Shut up!
This is why I'm here.
1404
01:06:37,724 --> 01:06:40,760
We have to kill the vampire!
1405
01:06:57,476 --> 01:07:00,312
Why you wipe my
kisses off like that?
1406
01:07:00,345 --> 01:07:02,247
Baby, because you
put too much lip gloss on.
1407
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:04,416
- No, I don't.
- Yeah, you do, and then my shit
1408
01:07:04,449 --> 01:07:06,284
- be all glittery for the rest of the day.
- Shut up. I do it for you
1409
01:07:06,318 --> 01:07:08,220
- when I'm around you. Whatever.
- Use Chapstick.
1410
01:07:08,253 --> 01:07:09,822
- You cute. You fine and all, baby.
- Whatever.
1411
01:07:09,856 --> 01:07:11,423
Give me a little bit
of head now.
1412
01:07:11,456 --> 01:07:12,624
- What?
- I'm just saying,
1413
01:07:12,659 --> 01:07:14,493
like, I wanna get
a little bit of head...
1414
01:07:14,526 --> 01:07:15,828
We're in front of my parents' house.
Are you serious?
1415
01:07:15,862 --> 01:07:17,529
Baby, they're sleeping
a little bit.
1416
01:07:17,562 --> 01:07:19,331
- Babe.
- Come on, baby.
1417
01:07:19,364 --> 01:07:20,933
- Just a little bit of head.
- Stop playing all the time.
1418
01:07:20,967 --> 01:07:23,201
- Baby, my-my legs. I'm-I'm paralyzed.
- Stop.
1419
01:07:23,235 --> 01:07:25,604
That's the least you could
do, community service.
1420
01:07:25,638 --> 01:07:27,272
Let me get a little bit
of community head.
1421
01:07:27,305 --> 01:07:28,607
Shut up. We need to talk.
1422
01:07:28,641 --> 01:07:29,976
Talk about what?
Baby, look,
1423
01:07:30,009 --> 01:07:31,911
talk with my dick in
your mouth a little bit.
1424
01:07:31,944 --> 01:07:33,612
- I don't mean to be disrespectful.
- Wait, wait. Listen.
1425
01:07:33,646 --> 01:07:35,580
Listen to what?
1426
01:07:35,614 --> 01:07:37,449
- Baby.
- Did you hear that?
1427
01:07:37,482 --> 01:07:38,718
The only thing you
need to listen to is...
1428
01:07:38,751 --> 01:07:41,754
Listen!
1429
01:07:42,822 --> 01:07:43,956
The fuck was that?
1430
01:07:46,693 --> 01:07:49,327
Shit! Oh, shit!
1431
01:07:49,361 --> 01:07:50,797
- What is that?
- Ooh.
1432
01:07:50,830 --> 01:07:51,731
Oh, my God.
1433
01:07:54,332 --> 01:07:56,636
Freezee!
Freezee!
1434
01:07:56,669 --> 01:07:58,738
That was Allie.
1435
01:07:58,771 --> 01:08:00,338
Time to get the fuck out.
1436
01:08:02,574 --> 01:08:03,743
What just happened?
1437
01:08:03,776 --> 01:08:05,544
I don't know. I just
heard screams, man.
1438
01:08:05,577 --> 01:08:08,313
He made the first move.
He has taken your daughter.
1439
01:08:08,346 --> 01:08:10,016
It's all fucked up, man.
1440
01:08:10,049 --> 01:08:12,551
I didn't know they had Allie, too.
I like Allie! But there's more.
1441
01:08:12,584 --> 01:08:14,486
- Well, tell us more.
- Yeah, you better say something
1442
01:08:14,519 --> 01:08:16,656
- before we take your banana bike, nigga.
- Come on now.
1443
01:08:16,689 --> 01:08:18,590
The vampires, man,
they got me.
1444
01:08:18,623 --> 01:08:20,392
See that house next door?
1445
01:08:20,425 --> 01:08:23,663
They havin' a big-ass
vampire party up there, man.
1446
01:08:23,696 --> 01:08:25,497
Dracula kind of blushin'.
1447
01:08:25,530 --> 01:08:28,835
They said when it's over,
they gonna kill everybody.
1448
01:08:28,868 --> 01:08:30,502
- Oh, God.
- Shit.
1449
01:08:30,535 --> 01:08:32,337
Things all fucked up
around here, man.
1450
01:08:32,370 --> 01:08:34,841
Not me. They ain't
gonna get me.
1451
01:08:34,874 --> 01:08:36,743
They ain't gonna get me!
1452
01:08:37,877 --> 01:08:39,344
Come back here!
1453
01:08:39,377 --> 01:08:42,982
Fuck that!
I'm a real snitch!
1454
01:08:43,015 --> 01:08:45,785
Those vampires
done bit me.
1455
01:08:47,019 --> 01:08:48,054
Did you hear that?
1456
01:08:48,087 --> 01:08:49,756
Yeah, you saw
how he took off?
1457
01:08:49,789 --> 01:08:52,357
This is exactly what
the monster wants.
1458
01:08:52,390 --> 01:08:53,726
He wants you
to attack him at night,
1459
01:08:53,760 --> 01:08:56,763
when he's strongest.
Don't fall for it.
1460
01:08:56,796 --> 01:08:59,031
What am I supposed to do?
I got a wife and a daughter over there.
1461
01:08:59,065 --> 01:09:01,366
Just wait till the daytime,
when he's weak.
1462
01:09:01,399 --> 01:09:02,869
- And then we kill him.
- No, no, no, no.
1463
01:09:02,902 --> 01:09:04,302
If you wait
till the morning,
1464
01:09:04,336 --> 01:09:06,371
Lorena and Allie
will be vampires.
1465
01:09:06,404 --> 01:09:08,841
- Oh.
- Junior, I love you to death.
1466
01:09:08,875 --> 01:09:10,843
They already got
your sister in there.
1467
01:09:10,877 --> 01:09:13,679
They're trying to get your mama.
This is a good neighborhood
1468
01:09:13,713 --> 01:09:15,982
and I'm here to protect it,
because I'm Carl Black.
1469
01:09:16,015 --> 01:09:18,885
And I'm Cronut.
We ride together, we die together!
1470
01:09:18,918 --> 01:09:20,720
Go lock up the house.
1471
01:09:20,753 --> 01:09:24,023
We need the right weapons
to kill this vampire.
1472
01:09:24,056 --> 01:09:25,992
- I made a phone call.
- Who you call?
1473
01:09:26,025 --> 01:09:28,027
- Mr. Saturday Night.
- What?
1474
01:09:28,060 --> 01:09:30,062
He knows everything
about killing vampires.
1475
01:09:30,096 --> 01:09:31,596
Saturday Night?
1476
01:09:31,631 --> 01:09:34,466
I met him last Friday
at Fat Tuesday's.
1477
01:09:34,499 --> 01:09:36,468
Let's go. It's war.
1478
01:09:44,543 --> 01:09:46,646
Friends, let me do
all the talking.
1479
01:09:48,446 --> 01:09:50,883
I've seen this guy
kill lots of people.
1480
01:09:50,917 --> 01:09:52,819
Don't do
no bitch shit now.
1481
01:10:01,093 --> 01:10:02,028
Let's go.
1482
01:10:07,099 --> 01:10:09,836
He's the only one
to kill vampires.
1483
01:10:09,869 --> 01:10:11,904
He'll give us
all the weapons.
1484
01:10:13,471 --> 01:10:14,707
Just stay calm.
1485
01:10:16,541 --> 01:10:18,443
I believe in God,
first and foremost.
1486
01:10:18,476 --> 01:10:19,879
So we huntin' vampires.
1487
01:10:19,912 --> 01:10:22,081
- I'm scared.
- What you scared of?
1488
01:10:22,114 --> 01:10:23,448
He looks like
The Undertaker.
1489
01:10:23,481 --> 01:10:25,450
I may not have what you want,
1490
01:10:25,483 --> 01:10:26,886
but I got just what you need.
1491
01:10:26,919 --> 01:10:28,087
Holy shit.
1492
01:10:29,621 --> 01:10:31,724
- You ain't playin'.
- No, he's not.
1493
01:10:31,757 --> 01:10:33,860
- Damn!
- You're gonna like this.
1494
01:10:35,427 --> 01:10:36,929
Whoa.
1495
01:10:36,963 --> 01:10:38,831
- Oh, that's cool. I like that.
- That's alkaline water.
1496
01:10:38,865 --> 01:10:40,132
Alkaline? It's holy water!
1497
01:10:40,166 --> 01:10:42,068
Joel Osteen holy water.
1498
01:10:42,101 --> 01:10:43,803
It kind got
a pineapple taste to it.
1499
01:10:43,836 --> 01:10:49,108
Since we have vampires,
I got us some UV sunlight.
1500
01:10:49,141 --> 01:10:51,978
Hey, hey, hey.
1501
01:10:54,247 --> 01:10:56,481
You're Black, motherfucker.
It don't work as well.
1502
01:10:56,514 --> 01:10:58,017
Nigga, I can't see now.
1503
01:10:58,050 --> 01:11:01,020
They say short motherfuckers
love to get freaky,
1504
01:11:01,053 --> 01:11:04,156
so I brought this
just for you.
1505
01:11:04,190 --> 01:11:06,591
My boy. You know me,
don't you?
1506
01:11:06,625 --> 01:11:08,493
- Not really.
- Is this real leather?
1507
01:11:08,526 --> 01:11:10,162
- Not really.
- I'm wearing this.
1508
01:11:10,196 --> 01:11:12,131
Look at that. Look,
look, look, look.
1509
01:11:12,164 --> 01:11:14,867
When y'all really ready to
take out some motherfuckers...
1510
01:11:14,901 --> 01:11:16,068
Ooh.
1511
01:11:16,102 --> 01:11:18,137
- This what I pull out.
- Shit.
1512
01:11:18,170 --> 01:11:21,040
- God is great.
- All the time.
1513
01:11:22,108 --> 01:11:23,575
If it ain't a Jesus.
1514
01:11:23,608 --> 01:11:25,678
You got a calling, Carl.
You put that on.
1515
01:11:25,711 --> 01:11:27,747
- Me?
- You put that on.
1516
01:11:30,049 --> 01:11:31,684
God gon' protect you.
1517
01:11:33,618 --> 01:11:35,054
There's something
I want to show you.
1518
01:11:37,056 --> 01:11:39,158
That look like
Leslie Jones' dildo.
1519
01:11:39,191 --> 01:11:41,093
Oh.
1520
01:11:41,127 --> 01:11:43,095
- Nigga...
- Hey, wait, wait, man.
1521
01:11:43,129 --> 01:11:44,462
- I think... I think he just stabbed me, he just...
- Stop it.
1522
01:11:44,496 --> 01:11:45,597
I felt it in my...
in my body.
1523
01:11:45,631 --> 01:11:47,199
No, you're cool.
Don't be bitches.
1524
01:11:47,233 --> 01:11:49,201
You look like you know
what's goin' on.
1525
01:11:49,235 --> 01:11:51,503
I know exactly
what's goin' on.
1526
01:12:00,079 --> 01:12:02,014
Nigga, you're illuminati.
I see you.
1527
01:12:02,048 --> 01:12:03,515
Enough of that.
1528
01:12:04,417 --> 01:12:07,552
- Thank you, Mr. Friday the 13th.
- It's Saturday.
1529
01:12:07,585 --> 01:12:08,988
Nigga,
this nigga Friday the 13th.
1530
01:12:09,021 --> 01:12:11,523
This nigga's... nigga!
All right, cool, cool.
1531
01:12:11,556 --> 01:12:12,792
You keep doing your thing.
1532
01:12:15,861 --> 01:12:17,730
That nigga's
on some Harry Potter shit.
1533
01:12:17,763 --> 01:12:19,832
It's cool, really. I know the nigga.
1534
01:13:01,974 --> 01:13:04,609
This motherfucker lit!
1535
01:13:04,643 --> 01:13:07,079
They know
how to party here.
1536
01:13:07,113 --> 01:13:09,749
We gotta find Allie.
1537
01:13:09,782 --> 01:13:11,150
Damn, man,
I'm staying right here.
1538
01:13:11,183 --> 01:13:13,019
I think I feel good
right here.
1539
01:13:21,660 --> 01:13:24,096
Cronut!
Go that way.
1540
01:13:35,674 --> 01:13:38,944
...with three people dragging someone.
1541
01:13:38,978 --> 01:13:41,047
- Neighborhood, somebody.
- Harrison.
1542
01:13:41,080 --> 01:13:43,282
- This is Harrison.
- Do you guys need a backup unit?
1543
01:13:43,315 --> 01:13:45,117
No, I'm good,
Captain. I mean,
1544
01:13:45,151 --> 01:13:46,919
this shit making me a little
nervous for real, man.
1545
01:13:46,952 --> 01:13:48,921
I mean, we back down
to this spooky-ass house.
1546
01:13:48,954 --> 01:13:50,890
We just left here a
couple of days ago.
1547
01:13:50,923 --> 01:13:52,624
Listen, I don't want
to be no cop.
1548
01:13:52,658 --> 01:13:54,693
I just thought pieces of shit
dropped-dropped big time.
1549
01:13:54,727 --> 01:13:56,295
Man. My man is
shitting on himself.
1550
01:13:56,328 --> 01:13:58,130
This shit is spooky
out here, Captain.
1551
01:13:58,164 --> 01:14:00,833
I mean, shit,
there's all kinds of noises out here
1552
01:14:00,866 --> 01:14:03,235
and fucking some...
some wind and shit. Can y'all...
1553
01:14:03,269 --> 01:14:04,737
I don't got the heart
for this.
1554
01:14:04,770 --> 01:14:05,905
Harrison,
is everything okay?
1555
01:14:05,938 --> 01:14:07,706
What's wrong?
You're supposed to be...
1556
01:14:07,740 --> 01:14:09,607
You're supposed to be hard.
You're acting scared.
1557
01:14:09,642 --> 01:14:11,710
- What's wrong? Harry, what's wrong?
- Harrison.
1558
01:14:11,744 --> 01:14:13,712
I thought you had all the tricks
and now you're acting like a bitch.
1559
01:14:13,746 --> 01:14:15,181
Harrison.
1560
01:14:18,951 --> 01:14:21,020
A bite of crime
'bout to bite you, nigga.
1561
01:14:37,236 --> 01:14:40,806
I'm not a vampire.
My name's Allie, Allie Black.
1562
01:14:40,840 --> 01:14:42,341
I live next door.
1563
01:14:42,374 --> 01:14:46,412
If you could just get me
out of this, it would...
1564
01:14:46,445 --> 01:14:48,214
Okay. Look, my... my...
1565
01:14:48,247 --> 01:14:52,418
Can you ask Dr.Mama-tunday-wanday
to come here?
1566
01:14:52,451 --> 01:14:55,955
Damn.
1567
01:15:04,096 --> 01:15:06,699
What the fuck was that?
1568
01:15:08,834 --> 01:15:11,003
Shut up.
1569
01:15:13,205 --> 01:15:15,708
Don't talk.
1570
01:15:15,741 --> 01:15:17,276
What the fuck is
your problem? Shut up.
1571
01:15:21,147 --> 01:15:25,251
Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Hey.
1572
01:15:55,080 --> 01:15:57,816
- What?
- That was a silver metal nigga.
1573
01:15:57,850 --> 01:16:00,186
Oh, God.
A silver metal nigga?
1574
01:16:00,219 --> 01:16:02,054
Silver metal.
Not a regular nigga.
1575
01:16:02,087 --> 01:16:03,422
Metal nigga?
1576
01:16:03,455 --> 01:16:05,824
There are more of them niggas around.
Trust me.
1577
01:16:08,928 --> 01:16:10,396
- Oh, shit.
- Whoo-whoo.
1578
01:16:11,530 --> 01:16:12,965
Oh, God.
1579
01:16:14,500 --> 01:16:16,135
Please don't hurt me.
1580
01:16:18,003 --> 01:16:20,272
Please, Mr. knight
in big, black armor.
1581
01:16:20,306 --> 01:16:21,941
- Oooh.
- Oh, my God.
1582
01:16:21,974 --> 01:16:24,343
Oh, my God.
1583
01:16:24,376 --> 01:16:28,414
- Shh.
- Mmm.
1584
01:16:28,447 --> 01:16:30,015
- It's Cronut, baby!
- What?!
1585
01:16:30,049 --> 01:16:32,251
- I got you, didn't I?
- Cronut... Cronut...
1586
01:16:32,284 --> 01:16:33,852
- You didn't even know it was me, did you?
- Cronut! Get me out of here.
1587
01:16:33,886 --> 01:16:35,387
- You gotta untie me out, please.
- Yeah.
1588
01:16:35,421 --> 01:16:37,389
You're as fine
as a motherfucker.
1589
01:16:37,423 --> 01:16:39,225
- When did you grow up?
- Cronut, shut... Shut the fuck up!
1590
01:16:39,258 --> 01:16:41,160
If you like it, we second cousins,
we ain't no kin, so we can...
1591
01:16:41,193 --> 01:16:43,796
Are you serious right now?
Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna tell Daddy.
1592
01:16:43,829 --> 01:16:45,998
Oh, shit, man.
1593
01:16:46,031 --> 01:16:48,467
Now I know why
the vampire wanted her.
1594
01:16:48,500 --> 01:16:52,338
Oh, hell no!
That's my baby.
1595
01:16:53,572 --> 01:16:58,277
Baby, please wake up.
Wake up, baby. Oh...
1596
01:16:58,310 --> 01:17:00,312
God.
1597
01:17:00,346 --> 01:17:01,513
- Get your damn hands off! Don't touch my lady!
- Jesus, fuck.
1598
01:17:01,547 --> 01:17:03,115
He's in there,
trying to kill us.
1599
01:17:03,148 --> 01:17:04,850
What the fuck is you
in this shit for
1600
01:17:04,883 --> 01:17:06,418
- in the first place?
- I was trying to escape.
1601
01:17:06,452 --> 01:17:08,020
I was going with Freezee.
1602
01:17:08,053 --> 01:17:09,255
That's what getting
hot in the ass get you.
1603
01:17:09,288 --> 01:17:10,389
Hurry up and get me
the fuck out of here.
1604
01:17:14,093 --> 01:17:15,194
All right. Let's go.
1605
01:17:15,227 --> 01:17:16,962
- What? Oh, oh!
- My feet.
1606
01:17:16,996 --> 01:17:18,497
I was going with Freezee and
I don't even know where he is.
1607
01:17:18,530 --> 01:17:20,099
Yeah, there it is,
right...
1608
01:17:20,132 --> 01:17:21,333
- Stop looking at me.
- Shut the fuck... shh.
1609
01:17:21,367 --> 01:17:25,371
Please come back
to life.
1610
01:17:25,404 --> 01:17:28,574
Please, baby, I want
some of that pussy again.
1611
01:17:28,607 --> 01:17:31,243
I mean, I love you again.
I swear I love you.
1612
01:17:34,880 --> 01:17:36,148
Carl? Carl?
1613
01:17:37,349 --> 01:17:39,084
Jesus Christ,
what happened?
1614
01:17:39,118 --> 01:17:40,853
I had the worst dream.
1615
01:17:40,886 --> 01:17:42,154
What did he do to you?
1616
01:17:42,187 --> 01:17:46,892
I was, uh,
I was trying to bite you.
1617
01:17:46,925 --> 01:17:48,494
Carl, what's in my mouth?
1618
01:17:48,527 --> 01:17:49,862
You look like Blac Chyna.
1619
01:17:49,895 --> 01:17:51,430
Oh, stop.
What's in my mouth?
1620
01:17:51,463 --> 01:17:53,532
I don't know,
but I don't want no head no more.
1621
01:17:53,565 --> 01:17:55,034
What is this, Carl?
What is this?
1622
01:17:55,067 --> 01:17:57,136
It look like a pimple
on the mouth.
1623
01:18:00,939 --> 01:18:02,341
Where is Daddy at?
Where is everybody?
1624
01:18:02,374 --> 01:18:03,976
They right here looking
for your stupid ass.
1625
01:18:04,009 --> 01:18:05,144
But how we gonna get them?
1626
01:18:05,177 --> 01:18:06,278
All right. This is
what we're gonna do.
1627
01:18:06,312 --> 01:18:08,213
All right.
This me, this you.
1628
01:18:08,247 --> 01:18:09,848
- When I'm gonna say "hike," you're gonna throw the ball...
- Right.
1629
01:18:09,882 --> 01:18:11,317
Nah, I don't like that play.
1630
01:18:11,350 --> 01:18:13,519
This is what we gon'
do, ten yards cut...
1631
01:18:13,552 --> 01:18:15,421
- Are you playing football?
- You-you want to get out of here or not?
1632
01:18:15,454 --> 01:18:17,389
- It doesn't work! Shut the fuck up.
- Just let's go.
1633
01:18:28,967 --> 01:18:31,403
- No.
- Calm down. No.
1634
01:18:31,437 --> 01:18:32,905
Don't you do
your neck like that.
1635
01:18:32,938 --> 01:18:34,473
Calm down.
1636
01:18:37,076 --> 01:18:38,911
- Calm the fuck down.
- Please, please.
1637
01:18:41,113 --> 01:18:44,917
No! Cronut, no!
1638
01:18:44,950 --> 01:18:46,452
Please.
1639
01:18:53,025 --> 01:18:55,961
Don't you do it,
don't you do it.
1640
01:18:55,994 --> 01:18:58,464
No...
1641
01:19:01,500 --> 01:19:03,102
Mayweather.
1642
01:19:03,135 --> 01:19:04,236
He gave it like that.
1643
01:19:06,238 --> 01:19:08,107
Yeah!
1644
01:19:20,386 --> 01:19:23,656
I'm a vampire slayer.
I'm like Blade.
1645
01:19:23,690 --> 01:19:25,157
- I did that.
- You did what?
1646
01:19:25,190 --> 01:19:27,159
- I killed him.
- No, I did that. I did...
1647
01:19:27,192 --> 01:19:28,494
- Really?
- I'm Blade. Yeah, yeah.
1648
01:19:31,263 --> 01:19:33,065
Let's go find your dad.
1649
01:19:33,098 --> 01:19:35,567
Carl, I don't feel well.
Tell me, where are we?
1650
01:19:35,601 --> 01:19:36,935
Lorena?
1651
01:19:38,237 --> 01:19:39,271
There he is!
1652
01:19:39,304 --> 01:19:40,305
Carl Black.
1653
01:19:41,373 --> 01:19:43,575
Release my beloved.
1654
01:19:43,609 --> 01:19:45,310
That's the nigga
next door.
1655
01:19:45,344 --> 01:19:47,312
You don't mess
with a man's wife!
1656
01:19:47,346 --> 01:19:48,981
That is our wife.
1657
01:19:49,014 --> 01:19:51,183
She is at least
on a time share.
1658
01:19:51,216 --> 01:19:53,385
I've been waiting
my whole life for you
1659
01:19:53,419 --> 01:19:58,658
to kill you, you punk-bitch,
little ass, dick-looking bitch.
1660
01:19:58,691 --> 01:20:01,226
You call him
a bitch? Come on.
1661
01:20:01,260 --> 01:20:03,663
We ain't finna be too many more bitches up
in here now. You better watch your mouth.
1662
01:20:03,696 --> 01:20:06,331
Listen here,
Black Baltimore Raven.
1663
01:20:06,365 --> 01:20:11,136
You will no longer
disparage my household.
1664
01:20:11,170 --> 01:20:12,371
Hit him
with that juice.
1665
01:20:16,442 --> 01:20:19,378
Hit him again. Damn,
let me see your shit.
1666
01:20:19,411 --> 01:20:21,613
Man, that's mango juice
you're throwing on that man.
1667
01:20:21,648 --> 01:20:23,248
Why this nigga
is not dying?
1668
01:20:23,282 --> 01:20:25,350
- Why?
- Oh, man. That's bullshit.
1669
01:20:25,384 --> 01:20:27,085
- What kind of nigga is this?
- Fuck you're gonna kill a vampire
1670
01:20:27,119 --> 01:20:29,388
with Visine, motherfucker?
1671
01:20:29,421 --> 01:20:30,522
Hit him
with that third one.
1672
01:20:30,556 --> 01:20:31,990
Punk bitch, die!
1673
01:20:33,525 --> 01:20:35,994
This nigga is not dying.
Back up.
1674
01:20:36,028 --> 01:20:37,697
Thank you, ladies.
1675
01:20:37,730 --> 01:20:39,465
- Whoa.
- Daddy.
1676
01:20:39,498 --> 01:20:41,200
- Where you been?
- We've been looking for you.
1677
01:20:41,233 --> 01:20:43,703
- I saved Allie.
- No, I saved you.
1678
01:20:43,736 --> 01:20:45,638
Enough!
1679
01:20:47,606 --> 01:20:50,275
Look how you got my
woman's mouth looking, man.
1680
01:20:50,309 --> 01:20:53,612
I bring to you
from Africa, Egypt,
1681
01:20:53,646 --> 01:20:56,048
Denmark and Dayton.
1682
01:21:03,522 --> 01:21:05,023
That's Jodeci!
1683
01:21:08,661 --> 01:21:10,429
No!
1684
01:21:11,497 --> 01:21:15,133
I swear by the black hairs
of your chinny chin chin,
1685
01:21:15,167 --> 01:21:17,503
I will huff and puff
1686
01:21:17,536 --> 01:21:21,306
and these
demons will blow your house down.
1687
01:21:21,340 --> 01:21:23,242
What's up, y'all?
1688
01:21:23,275 --> 01:21:25,812
- Watch out... oh!
- Oh, shit!
1689
01:21:25,845 --> 01:21:27,312
What the hell are you
doing here?
1690
01:21:27,346 --> 01:21:28,748
Freezee,
1691
01:21:28,781 --> 01:21:30,249
what happened to you?
1692
01:21:30,282 --> 01:21:33,118
Vampire gang.
We out here, gang-gang!
1693
01:21:33,151 --> 01:21:34,687
They done hooked your boy up.
1694
01:21:34,721 --> 01:21:39,224
Half vampire, half goat
legs, full horse dick.
1695
01:21:39,258 --> 01:21:41,226
Donkey dick.
1696
01:21:42,662 --> 01:21:44,463
It's all backwards,
though.
1697
01:21:44,496 --> 01:21:46,298
Your ass
is forward, Freezee.
1698
01:21:46,331 --> 01:21:47,667
They done fuck me up
in the lab.
1699
01:21:47,700 --> 01:21:50,335
You're a hairy
retarded vampire.
1700
01:21:50,369 --> 01:21:52,137
- This ain't the life I chose.
- You fucked him up.
1701
01:21:52,170 --> 01:21:54,206
You fucked him up.
You fucked him up.
1702
01:21:54,239 --> 01:21:56,174
I appreciate it.
At least I can walk now.
1703
01:21:56,208 --> 01:21:58,778
Listen here,
Switchblade.
1704
01:21:58,811 --> 01:22:01,781
You already know
Black Lives Matter.
1705
01:22:01,814 --> 01:22:05,818
This is Black matter lives.
1706
01:22:07,286 --> 01:22:09,254
Welcome to the dark,
motherfucker.
1707
01:22:09,288 --> 01:22:11,156
Attack!
1708
01:22:11,189 --> 01:22:12,224
Come on. Come on.
Come on.
1709
01:22:44,256 --> 01:22:46,158
- You hit me in the nuts!
- I'm sorry.
1710
01:22:47,326 --> 01:22:48,828
I'm tired of your ass.
1711
01:22:53,565 --> 01:22:55,601
Let's go, bitch.
Let's go.
1712
01:23:02,474 --> 01:23:04,176
I got you!
1713
01:23:11,718 --> 01:23:15,454
- Yeah, bitch!
- Die slow! Die slow!
1714
01:23:15,487 --> 01:23:17,189
Carl!
Behind you!
1715
01:23:28,735 --> 01:23:29,636
Help her.
1716
01:23:34,707 --> 01:23:37,877
- I can't move my hand.
- I can't move mine.
1717
01:23:37,910 --> 01:23:40,212
I'm throwing up
gang signs.
1718
01:23:48,620 --> 01:23:50,690
Finally, Lorena.
1719
01:24:21,954 --> 01:24:25,357
Nigga is not dead yet.
I don't think he's dead.
1720
01:24:35,267 --> 01:24:36,636
Baby, he's not dead.
1721
01:24:39,772 --> 01:24:44,276
You know I'm coming now.
1722
01:24:46,511 --> 01:24:48,848
Go get the voodoo doll.
It's the only way to kill him.
1723
01:24:48,881 --> 01:24:51,216
- All right. Cool.
- Hurry.
1724
01:24:56,354 --> 01:24:57,890
Go lock the back door.
1725
01:24:57,924 --> 01:24:59,324
Get the doors locked.
Come on.
1726
01:24:59,357 --> 01:25:00,525
We can't kill him
without the voodoo doll!
1727
01:25:02,862 --> 01:25:04,864
Cronut, hurry up.
Hurry.
1728
01:25:06,431 --> 01:25:07,900
Hurry up, Cronut.
1729
01:25:09,769 --> 01:25:11,971
Wooky said this
will kill the vampire.
1730
01:25:12,004 --> 01:25:13,505
Is that it?
1731
01:25:13,538 --> 01:25:14,874
- Yeah.
- All right. Let's go.
1732
01:25:16,909 --> 01:25:18,310
Whoa! Shit!
1733
01:25:19,846 --> 01:25:21,681
Ah, shit!
1734
01:25:23,916 --> 01:25:26,618
Come on, come on. Oh, shit!
1735
01:25:26,652 --> 01:25:28,587
- Please. Please.
- Hey, hey, stop.
1736
01:25:28,620 --> 01:25:31,023
Please.
1737
01:25:32,792 --> 01:25:35,027
Shit!
1738
01:25:54,881 --> 01:25:56,414
Lorena.
1739
01:25:57,884 --> 01:26:00,552
Come to me, Lorena.
1740
01:26:00,585 --> 01:26:02,655
- Carl...
- What's wrong?
1741
01:26:02,688 --> 01:26:04,389
He's calling me.
1742
01:26:07,592 --> 01:26:09,561
You can kill me,
1743
01:26:09,594 --> 01:26:12,665
but you cannot make me die.
1744
01:26:22,642 --> 01:26:25,610
I will have what belongs to me.
1745
01:26:35,121 --> 01:26:37,355
I'm 'bout to go kill
Mamuwalde.
1746
01:26:37,389 --> 01:26:38,925
Okay.
1747
01:26:43,428 --> 01:26:44,931
Damn, Hugo.
1748
01:26:44,964 --> 01:26:46,498
Nobody calls me Hugo.
1749
01:26:47,633 --> 01:26:48,968
What do they call you then?
1750
01:26:49,001 --> 01:26:51,403
Filero.
1751
01:26:51,436 --> 01:26:53,706
And what's Filero?
1752
01:26:53,739 --> 01:26:56,843
It means blade
in Mexican.
1753
01:26:59,946 --> 01:27:01,513
Really?
1754
01:27:15,460 --> 01:27:16,996
Carl... no...
1755
01:27:18,831 --> 01:27:21,167
Where
do you think you're going?
1756
01:27:21,200 --> 01:27:22,969
What did you just do
to me?
1757
01:27:23,002 --> 01:27:24,670
Do you feel that?
1758
01:27:26,038 --> 01:27:27,505
I got the voodoo doll.
1759
01:27:27,539 --> 01:27:30,076
Break the voodoo doll.
1760
01:27:30,109 --> 01:27:32,477
- What?
- Break the voodoo doll!
1761
01:27:33,612 --> 01:27:34,680
Cronut!
1762
01:27:34,714 --> 01:27:36,883
Release your meaningless life.
1763
01:27:36,916 --> 01:27:39,051
Fuck out that...
1764
01:27:39,085 --> 01:27:41,453
I see we don't know what immortal means.
1765
01:27:41,486 --> 01:27:43,956
Break the doll, the voodoo doll.
1766
01:27:45,825 --> 01:27:47,126
- Break it!
- Break it!
1767
01:28:01,707 --> 01:28:04,677
- You motherfucker.
- Don't you touch me.
1768
01:28:09,048 --> 01:28:11,117
Come to me, Lorena.
1769
01:28:11,884 --> 01:28:15,021
- You better stop!
- Come this way.
1770
01:28:15,054 --> 01:28:17,455
Lorena, wake up!
1771
01:28:17,489 --> 01:28:18,958
Lorena.
1772
01:28:20,558 --> 01:28:23,029
Take your place with me.
1773
01:28:23,062 --> 01:28:24,864
Babe, don't do
this! Baby!
1774
01:28:24,897 --> 01:28:29,567
We are the Jay-Z and Beyoncé
of the underworld.
1775
01:28:31,270 --> 01:28:35,041
Complete my darkness.
1776
01:28:35,074 --> 01:28:38,244
Come with me.
There's not much time left.
1777
01:28:50,555 --> 01:28:52,858
You don't need him.
1778
01:28:52,892 --> 01:28:56,628
He doesn't have a job
and he can't write a book.
1779
01:29:07,306 --> 01:29:10,009
I got this new book
coming out. Terror Night.
1780
01:29:10,042 --> 01:29:11,711
Nigga! Ain't nobody
reading your book!
1781
01:29:11,744 --> 01:29:14,512
My book is in... in... in
Barnes and Noble's.
1782
01:29:14,546 --> 01:29:17,016
That book was terrible.
It's one of the worst books I ever read.
1783
01:29:17,049 --> 01:29:18,616
Carl, I'm not happy here.
1784
01:29:18,651 --> 01:29:20,019
I need the money, Dad.
1785
01:29:20,052 --> 01:29:21,887
Just... just leave.
Just leave. Go take a nap.
1786
01:29:21,921 --> 01:29:23,521
This ain't the time
for your goddamn book.
1787
01:29:24,657 --> 01:29:26,258
I don't know
if this is it for us.
1788
01:29:26,292 --> 01:29:29,161
I used to think it was the house,
the neighborhood, your book.
1789
01:29:31,998 --> 01:29:33,699
You need to realize
that family's
1790
01:29:33,733 --> 01:29:35,167
the most important thing
in life, not a book.
1791
01:29:36,702 --> 01:29:37,737
- I'm moving out.
- You're messing up.
1792
01:29:39,772 --> 01:29:42,607
It's you and I that don't work.
It's you.
1793
01:29:45,778 --> 01:29:48,047
Come to me now.
1794
01:29:52,818 --> 01:29:54,586
Carl Black,
save your wife.
1795
01:30:09,802 --> 01:30:13,839
Global warming is real.
1796
01:30:31,357 --> 01:30:34,927
Jack Mihoff,
ANN News Live with the Buzz.
1797
01:30:34,960 --> 01:30:37,229
So you've survived the Purge.
1798
01:30:37,263 --> 01:30:40,766
You and this ragtag
band of pimps, hoes...
1799
01:30:40,800 --> 01:30:42,134
- No, that's my family.
- Sorry, what?!
1800
01:30:42,168 --> 01:30:43,803
No. It wasn't no pimps
and hoes over here.
1801
01:30:43,836 --> 01:30:45,603
You defeated the vampire.
1802
01:30:45,638 --> 01:30:47,773
Saved the whole
entire neighborhood.
1803
01:30:47,807 --> 01:30:51,010
Have you, Black Panther,
Chloe, and Bow-Wow
1804
01:30:51,043 --> 01:30:54,612
ever thought about becoming
the new Black Ghostbusters?
1805
01:30:57,783 --> 01:31:00,386
- Hunting ghosts?
- Hunting ghosts? I mean...
1806
01:31:00,419 --> 01:31:01,887
You don't have
to answer that, Carl.
1807
01:31:01,921 --> 01:31:03,789
It's a good idea.
We could make money.
1808
01:31:03,823 --> 01:31:05,091
Let's wait,
let's wait.
1809
01:31:05,124 --> 01:31:07,326
Don't be a bitch.
Let's make this money, Carl.
1810
01:31:07,359 --> 01:31:09,962
Yes. Don't be a bitch.
Make the money.
1811
01:31:09,995 --> 01:31:11,764
And what the fuck
did you do?
1812
01:31:11,797 --> 01:31:13,332
- Look at me.
- We could make money, Carl.
1813
01:31:13,365 --> 01:31:15,634
- Get the money, Carl.
- Carl, let's do it.
1814
01:31:15,668 --> 01:31:17,670
- I'm gonna make money.
- Yeah. Why-why not?
1815
01:31:17,703 --> 01:31:19,271
One more question.
Handicapped white man,
1816
01:31:19,305 --> 01:31:22,341
is it true that your first
experience with vampires
1817
01:31:22,374 --> 01:31:25,945
was in the jungle in Hanoi
where your troop was ambushed,
1818
01:31:25,978 --> 01:31:30,382
you were ravaged,
and your legs were completely destroyed?
1819
01:31:30,416 --> 01:31:32,785
Fuck you, Sammy Sosa.
1820
01:31:32,818 --> 01:31:34,320
One thing I hate
about this neighborhood...
1821
01:31:34,353 --> 01:31:36,188
all the goddamn vampires.
1822
01:31:36,222 --> 01:31:39,191
Well, we would just
like to thank you
1823
01:31:39,225 --> 01:31:41,393
for your service
to this country and make...
1824
01:31:41,427 --> 01:31:42,995
Oh, my Lord!
1825
01:31:43,028 --> 01:31:44,363
His hands are strong,
but his legs are dead.
1826
01:31:44,396 --> 01:31:46,132
Come on. Come on.
Let his hand. Let his hand.
1827
01:31:46,165 --> 01:31:48,000
Get off me, Carl!
Your wife's cheating on you!
1828
01:31:48,033 --> 01:31:49,235
- What are you talking about?
- What?
1829
01:31:49,268 --> 01:31:50,402
- I see everything!
- Shut up!
1830
01:31:50,436 --> 01:31:52,371
- Cronut's gay.
- No, I'm not.
1831
01:31:52,404 --> 01:31:53,739
That don't count in jail.
1832
01:31:53,772 --> 01:31:54,940
That's not even
your daughter!
1833
01:31:54,974 --> 01:31:57,343
- Uh-uh.
- No. I'm sick of this.
1834
01:31:57,376 --> 01:31:59,378
Yeah. I'm sick of you.
1835
01:31:59,411 --> 01:32:01,647
Come on, Carl.
1836
01:32:04,416 --> 01:32:06,152
Are you ready?
1837
01:32:06,185 --> 01:32:08,387
Give me one second,
baby. I'm coming.
1838
01:32:08,420 --> 01:32:10,055
Lord knows I'm coming.
1839
01:32:10,089 --> 01:32:13,392
I know you happy you ain't
with Clive no more.
1840
01:32:13,425 --> 01:32:15,861
- But what's taking you so long?
- You're rushing me, babe.
1841
01:32:15,895 --> 01:32:18,230
You ain't rush Clive.
I know you waited for his ass.
1842
01:32:18,264 --> 01:32:20,900
Just calm down.
You gon' get this dick.
1843
01:32:20,933 --> 01:32:22,701
Gonna drop some
good dick on you.
1844
01:32:22,735 --> 01:32:24,203
Well, hurry.
1845
01:32:24,236 --> 01:32:25,938
- Oh.
- Yeah.
1846
01:32:25,971 --> 01:32:28,073
Yeah.
1847
01:32:28,107 --> 01:32:33,045
You see it.
You see it. Yeah.
1848
01:32:33,078 --> 01:32:35,147
Say you're ready for me
to draw some dick O's.
1849
01:32:38,050 --> 01:32:40,786
Yeah. Yeah. Oh-oh.
1850
01:32:40,819 --> 01:32:42,855
That's it?
1851
01:32:42,888 --> 01:32:44,857
You're kidding.
1852
01:32:44,890 --> 01:32:47,426
Wait. I-I...
damn, this was a long song.
1853
01:32:47,459 --> 01:32:48,961
- Wow.
- You did good. No, no, no.
1854
01:32:48,994 --> 01:32:50,963
What you wowing for?
1855
01:32:52,531 --> 01:32:56,468
Who knocked it down, nigga?
1856
01:32:56,502 --> 01:32:58,771
Bitch ass!
1857
01:34:26,258 --> 01:34:31,030
This is Jack Mihoff
with today's latest buzz.
1858
01:34:31,063 --> 01:34:34,233
There has been reports
of a ragtag band
1859
01:34:34,266 --> 01:34:38,470
of Negro thug
vigilantes and a Mexican.
1860
01:34:38,504 --> 01:34:42,508
Reports have been stated that
they are calling themselves
1861
01:34:42,541 --> 01:34:45,311
the Ghetto Ghostbusters,
1862
01:34:45,344 --> 01:34:48,914
and they are out
for street vengeance.