WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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<i>So, stick with me here.</i>

4
00:00:36.461 --> 00:00:39.398
<i>I know y'all came to see
a comedy about the Blacks,</i>

5
00:00:39.431 --> 00:00:42.200
<i>everyone's favorite family
with the perfect daughter</i>

6
00:00:42.234 --> 00:00:44.503
<i>that somehow survived
Terror Night.</i>

7
00:00:46.471 --> 00:00:49.608
<i>You didn't sign up to see
some Egyptians open an evil box</i>

8
00:00:49.642 --> 00:00:52.912
<i>and a bat flap his ass
across an Indiana Jones map.</i>

9
00:00:52.945 --> 00:00:56.615
<i>Trust me,
it'll all make sense later.</i>

10
00:00:56.649 --> 00:00:58.350
<i>Well, since we last met,</i>

11
00:00:58.383 --> 00:01:00.787
<i>Dad wrote a bestseller
based on Terror Night.</i>

12
00:01:00.820 --> 00:01:02.789
<i>But then Dad and Cronut
blew that money</i>

13
00:01:02.822 --> 00:01:05.457
<i>faster than a rapper
at a strip club.</i>

14
00:01:05.490 --> 00:01:08.628
<i>We're back in Atlanta.</i>

15
00:01:08.661 --> 00:01:10.429
<i>And Dad's writin' the sequel,</i>

16
00:01:10.462 --> 00:01:12.799
<i>and we were just getting used
to being back home</i>

17
00:01:12.832 --> 00:01:16.301
<i>when this very bat
flew into our lives.</i>

18
00:01:16.334 --> 00:01:18.403
<i>Seriously, pray for us, y'all.</i>

19
00:02:05.852 --> 00:02:07.787
<i>We're back
on the GGN News Network.</i>

20
00:02:07.820 --> 00:02:10.555
<i>I'm your host with the most,
Finding Nemo, aka Nemo Hoser.</i>

21
00:02:10.589 --> 00:02:12.892
<i>Today on my show,
I got a very special guest,</i>

22
00:02:12.925 --> 00:02:17.429
<i>the one and only, the author Carl
Black in the motherfucking house.</i>

23
00:02:17.462 --> 00:02:18.765
<i>Mr. Black,
what's happening?</i>

24
00:02:18.798 --> 00:02:20.532
<i>Snoop!
How are you, man?</i>

25
00:02:20.565 --> 00:02:22.300
<i>I'm good, Carl.
How you doin' today, brother?</i>

26
00:02:22.334 --> 00:02:23.602
<i>I'm excited, man.</i>

27
00:02:23.636 --> 00:02:25.370
<i>I got this new book
coming out.</i>

28
00:02:25.403 --> 00:02:27.740
<i>It's called</i> Terror Night.
<i>Mm. I wrote it.</i>

29
00:02:27.774 --> 00:02:28.741
<i>It's from my heart.</i>

30
00:02:28.775 --> 00:02:30.076
<i>This is my baby.</i>

31
00:02:30.109 --> 00:02:31.944
<i>What makes this book
a great read</i>

32
00:02:31.978 --> 00:02:33.846
<i>for the average nigga
sitting at home doing nothing?</i>

33
00:02:33.880 --> 00:02:38.017
<i>You know, most Black people
know about terror.</i>

34
00:02:38.050 --> 00:02:39.719
<i>Mr. Black, I'm forced
to tell you the truth.</i>

35
00:02:39.752 --> 00:02:41.888
<i>It is an easy read.
Real easy.</i>

36
00:02:41.921 --> 00:02:43.555
<i>What you mean by that?</i>

37
00:02:43.588 --> 00:02:46.025
<i>"There was
a Black man that..."</i>

38
00:02:46.058 --> 00:02:47.794
<i>That's bullshit, Snoop.</i>

39
00:02:47.827 --> 00:02:49.494
<i>Go get my book.</i>
<i>It's called</i> Terror Night.

40
00:02:51.664 --> 00:02:53.365
<i>All right. All right. All right.
That's enough</i> Terror Night.

41
00:02:53.398 --> 00:02:54.934
<i>All right. All right.
All right. Thank you.</i>

42
00:02:54.967 --> 00:02:56.936
<i>Now we got a real guest
coming up on the show.</i>

43
00:02:56.969 --> 00:02:59.038
<i>Make some noise for the
one and only Matt Barnes.</i>

44
00:02:59.071 --> 00:03:00.940
<i>Snoop, what's going on, man?
Thanks for having me.</i>

45
00:03:00.973 --> 00:03:02.374
<i>Matt!</i>

46
00:03:02.407 --> 00:03:04.010
- <i>Who's that?</i>
- Terror Night.

47
00:03:04.043 --> 00:03:06.578
- Ah, this is Carl Black.
- This book is j... Carl Black, man.

48
00:03:06.611 --> 00:03:08.547
<i>You know me.</i>
<i>I wrote</i> Terror Night.

49
00:03:08.580 --> 00:03:10.049
- <i>You read that book?
- The book is crazy.</i>

50
00:03:10.082 --> 00:03:11.651
<i>You're gonna love it,
man. And...</i>

51
00:03:11.684 --> 00:03:13.019
<i>That book was terrible.</i>

52
00:03:13.052 --> 00:03:15.353
<i>One of the worst books
I ever read.</i>

53
00:03:15.387 --> 00:03:16.956
<i>You must be havin' a bad day today.
It's a good book, man.</i>

54
00:03:16.989 --> 00:03:18.691
- <i>Nah. It's just a bad book.
- Hey, you should...</i>

55
00:03:18.724 --> 00:03:20.760
- <i>Fuck you.
- Fuck you and that book.</i>

56
00:03:20.793 --> 00:03:22.929
<i>I'm gonna get the fucking fuck.</i>

57
00:03:24.429 --> 00:03:25.698
<i>That nigga's excited.</i>

58
00:03:41.814 --> 00:03:44.449
<i>Okay.
Just don't. Here.</i>

59
00:04:09.175 --> 00:04:10.076
Hey.

60
00:04:11.443 --> 00:04:12.444
Hey!

61
00:04:14.046 --> 00:04:15.781
Hey!

62
00:04:15.815 --> 00:04:17.049
What are you doin'?

63
00:04:17.083 --> 00:04:18.818
We're practicing
for the Migos' tour.

64
00:04:18.851 --> 00:04:20.653
The streets need us.

65
00:04:20.686 --> 00:04:22.054
The streets
don't need yo ass.

66
00:04:22.088 --> 00:04:24.724
And stop makin'
all that damn noise.

67
00:04:24.757 --> 00:04:26.524
- Frickin' old guys!
- And stop playing!

68
00:04:26.558 --> 00:04:27.592
Again from the top.
Ready?

69
00:04:29.494 --> 00:04:30.830
I'm gonna kick your ass.

70
00:04:30.863 --> 00:04:32.698
Give me the phone!
Cut if off!

71
00:04:32.732 --> 00:04:34.934
- Dad, come on.
- Cut it off! I'm trying to write.

72
00:04:34.967 --> 00:04:36.869
You messed it up again! I bet...

73
00:04:39.138 --> 00:04:40.472
Go.

74
00:04:40.505 --> 00:04:42.141
Daddy, get out!

75
00:04:42.174 --> 00:04:43.943
- Out.
- Hey! Girl, you better stop throwin' shit.

76
00:04:43.976 --> 00:04:46.478
- Go! Shut up!
- I peed in that bed last night.

77
00:04:57.555 --> 00:04:59.524
You know,
I didn't escape the Purge

78
00:04:59.557 --> 00:05:02.662
so somebody would be breakin'
in my fuckin' house!

79
00:05:15.274 --> 00:05:19.178
Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Man, come on, bro.

80
00:05:19.211 --> 00:05:21.847
- What's wrong with you?
- Come on, bro.

81
00:05:21.881 --> 00:05:24.750
- Goddamn!
- What's wrong with you?

82
00:05:24.784 --> 00:05:26.786
Goddamn.
Why are you so jumpy?

83
00:05:26.819 --> 00:05:29.521
Yeah, 'cause maybe somebody tried to
break in my house and kill me before.

84
00:05:29.554 --> 00:05:31.556
What you doin' creepin' around
my house this late at night?

85
00:05:31.589 --> 00:05:33.893
The lights in the RV went out.
I had to get some flashlights.

86
00:05:33.926 --> 00:05:36.062
- Some flashlights?
- Not just flashlight.

87
00:05:36.095 --> 00:05:37.997
Purge lights!
You feel me?

88
00:05:38.030 --> 00:05:39.999
You know about these.
Did I tell you about 'em?

89
00:05:40.032 --> 00:05:42.068
You don't need no battery.
That means you crank it right up.

90
00:05:42.101 --> 00:05:43.703
- Just like this.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, man.

91
00:05:43.736 --> 00:05:45.004
- What? What?
- Hey, hey.

92
00:05:45.037 --> 00:05:47.605
Get rid of that janky shit!
Stop orderin' it.

93
00:05:47.640 --> 00:05:49.709
Y'all run around here ballin'
and spendin' money,

94
00:05:49.742 --> 00:05:52.111
leavin' the lights on,
runnin' water,

95
00:05:52.144 --> 00:05:54.579
like there's money
growin' on the tree.

96
00:05:54.612 --> 00:05:56.882
- I don't have no more money.
- 'Cause you ain't selling no goddamn books.

97
00:05:56.916 --> 00:05:59.852
If you sell some goddamn books,
we can goddamn sell these bitches.

98
00:05:59.885 --> 00:06:03.022
- And why're you broke? Huh?
- Get your ass out of here.

99
00:06:03.055 --> 00:06:04.156
Hey, man.
What the fuck, man?

100
00:06:04.190 --> 00:06:06.926
Stop holding me
like a side bitch.

101
00:06:06.959 --> 00:06:09.028
- What's you tripping off of?
- This is the reason right here.

102
00:06:09.061 --> 00:06:12.798
'Cause I can't imagine
why I let you talk me

103
00:06:12.832 --> 00:06:14.834
into spending
my money on this shit.

104
00:06:14.867 --> 00:06:16.534
It's all part
of the business plan, cuz.

105
00:06:16.568 --> 00:06:18.170
No, no, no.
The business plan

106
00:06:18.204 --> 00:06:19.839
is the reason why
Lorena is out

107
00:06:19.872 --> 00:06:22.775
busting her ass
to wipe my old ass.

108
00:06:22.808 --> 00:06:24.176
Don't nobody want
to hear about me

109
00:06:24.210 --> 00:06:26.212
moving back
into my old neighborhood

110
00:06:26.245 --> 00:06:28.613
while my cousin livin' in an RV
in the back of my house.

111
00:06:30.716 --> 00:06:32.818
What the fuck
is going on over there, man?

112
00:06:32.852 --> 00:06:34.687
Some crackheads.

113
00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:36.122
Next door at the old
Marsten house.

114
00:06:36.155 --> 00:06:38.257
They must be squattin'
or somethin'.

115
00:06:38.290 --> 00:06:39.792
- <i>Don't forget the...</i>
- Nah. They live there.

116
00:06:39.825 --> 00:06:42.028
I seen 'em move in,
but the crazy part is

117
00:06:42.061 --> 00:06:44.263
all the windows are boarded.

118
00:06:44.296 --> 00:06:46.799
They only come out
at nighttime.

119
00:06:46.832 --> 00:06:48.801
Yeah. Who would move
in a place

120
00:06:48.834 --> 00:06:50.803
with a house that's boarded up like that?

121
00:06:50.836 --> 00:06:52.171
And when did they move in?

122
00:06:52.204 --> 00:06:53.806
Yeah. They got in
like a week ago.

123
00:06:53.839 --> 00:06:55.274
- What the fuck?
- <i>Snitch, Snitch,</i>

124
00:06:55.307 --> 00:06:57.109
- <i>where you at?</i>
- Yeah. I watched 'em do it.

125
00:06:57.143 --> 00:06:59.178
They moved in, man.

126
00:06:59.211 --> 00:07:01.247
I see everything.

127
00:07:01.280 --> 00:07:03.983
I know you with the neighborhood
watch and everything, but man...

128
00:07:04.016 --> 00:07:06.052
it's getting
a little creepy, man.

129
00:07:06.085 --> 00:07:08.220
All right, ladies, in we go. Your coupe is here.

130
00:07:08.254 --> 00:07:10.122
- Did you hear that?
- Shhh...

131
00:07:10.156 --> 00:07:11.757
That's some crazy shit.

132
00:07:19.198 --> 00:07:22.802
Somethin' strange
goin' on in that house.

133
00:07:30.209 --> 00:07:31.343
I'm gone.

134
00:07:41.654 --> 00:07:44.857
<i>You will be mine...</i>

135
00:07:44.890 --> 00:07:46.959
<i>unconditionally.</i>

136
00:07:56.368 --> 00:07:59.004
Baby, I think some new people
just moved in next door.

137
00:07:59.038 --> 00:08:01.974
Oh, baby. Leave
those people alone, babe.

138
00:08:02.007 --> 00:08:04.176
Go back to sleep.

139
00:08:21.927 --> 00:08:23.796
This refrigerator's filthy!

140
00:08:25.764 --> 00:08:27.833
- Appreciate shit.
- Ahem.

141
00:08:28.968 --> 00:08:30.436
What are you doing
here, Cronut?

142
00:08:30.469 --> 00:08:32.071
I had to get some milk
for my cereal.

143
00:08:32.104 --> 00:08:34.306
I ran out in the RV.

144
00:08:34.340 --> 00:08:36.242
The door's locked
for a reason.

145
00:08:36.275 --> 00:08:37.810
Who messed up that damn toilet?

146
00:08:37.843 --> 00:08:39.745
Hey, what the fuck
you doin' in here?

147
00:08:39.778 --> 00:08:41.413
Eating breakfast.
What it look like I'm doin'?

148
00:08:41.447 --> 00:08:42.982
You ain't supposed
to be here in the mornings.

149
00:08:43.015 --> 00:08:44.316
You told me I could
come in on Tuesdays.

150
00:08:44.350 --> 00:08:45.684
I'm about sick of your shit.

151
00:08:45.718 --> 00:08:47.720
It's light wheat.

152
00:08:47.753 --> 00:08:49.421
Stay out of the toilet.

153
00:08:49.455 --> 00:08:51.357
You know there's a serial
killer living next door.

154
00:08:51.390 --> 00:08:53.726
God, this boy run
his damn mouth too much.

155
00:08:53.759 --> 00:08:56.829
Hey, Carl, Carl.
Check this shit out, bro.

156
00:08:56.862 --> 00:08:58.764
<i>...the death of Chante Webster.</i>

157
00:08:58.797 --> 00:09:02.101
<i>Her badly mutilated corpse
was found inside a dumpster</i>

158
00:09:02.134 --> 00:09:06.238
<i>behind Gus's Chicken and
Waffles on Indian Hill Road.</i>

159
00:09:06.272 --> 00:09:07.940
They found that body
right around the corner.

160
00:09:07.973 --> 00:09:09.708
<i>This is the sixth incident</i>

161
00:09:09.742 --> 00:09:12.778
<i>in a vicious string
of kidnapping and murders,</i>

162
00:09:12.811 --> 00:09:17.216
<i>all of which were either
African-American or Mexican.</i>

163
00:09:17.249 --> 00:09:19.952
<i>Racially motivated?
Perhaps.</i>

164
00:09:19.985 --> 00:09:22.855
This is exactly why we need to
move out of this neighborhood.

165
00:09:22.888 --> 00:09:24.857
- Move? Again?
- Yes, move.

166
00:09:24.890 --> 00:09:26.759
And when we say "move,"

167
00:09:26.792 --> 00:09:29.128
- that means us.
- Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

168
00:09:29.161 --> 00:09:30.963
Uh, hey... hey.
No thinkin' for you, okay?

169
00:09:30.996 --> 00:09:32.364
What about what we saw
last night?

170
00:09:32.398 --> 00:09:34.400
Okay, I don't have time
for this, Carl.

171
00:09:34.433 --> 00:09:36.835
I got to go to work.
I'm going to be working a double tonight,

172
00:09:36.869 --> 00:09:38.270
so you're on your own
for dinner.

173
00:09:38.304 --> 00:09:41.173
What about what we seen
with the neighbors, bro?

174
00:09:43.309 --> 00:09:44.743
You better do what she say.

175
00:09:44.777 --> 00:09:45.878
Fuck you up.

176
00:09:45.911 --> 00:09:47.379
She payin' the bills
around here.

177
00:09:47.413 --> 00:09:50.316
Hey, babe. Don't pay
no attention to Cronut.

178
00:09:50.349 --> 00:09:52.017
He's just a dumbass.

179
00:09:52.051 --> 00:09:54.053
He's a neglected Chihuahua.

180
00:09:54.086 --> 00:09:55.788
Carl, I'm not happy here.

181
00:09:55.821 --> 00:09:58.023
- Listen...
- This was supposed to be temporary, Carl.

182
00:09:58.057 --> 00:10:00.025
We were supposed
to be here until you got

183
00:10:00.059 --> 00:10:01.360
- your money going.
- Money.

184
00:10:01.393 --> 00:10:04.096
- You wrote your book.
- It's gonna work.

185
00:10:04.129 --> 00:10:06.432
That developer came
around again other day.

186
00:10:06.465 --> 00:10:09.835
He can make us a really good
offer on your mom's house.

187
00:10:09.868 --> 00:10:11.870
We can move
to a safer place.

188
00:10:11.904 --> 00:10:14.974
I can be happy.
Happy wife, happy what?

189
00:10:15.007 --> 00:10:17.142
- Happy wife.
- Happy life.

190
00:10:17.176 --> 00:10:19.278
The guy's a fuckin'
vulture. Okay?

191
00:10:19.311 --> 00:10:21.080
He wants to move
in this neighborhood

192
00:10:21.113 --> 00:10:23.849
so he can take it over and turn
it into a fuckin' strip mall.

193
00:10:23.882 --> 00:10:26.018
Do you understand
what I'm sayin'? Okay?

194
00:10:26.051 --> 00:10:27.820
It's called...
it's called gingivitis.

195
00:10:27.853 --> 00:10:29.221
Gentrification!

196
00:10:29.255 --> 00:10:30.256
Shut up, Cronut!

197
00:10:30.289 --> 00:10:32.391
Stupid dumbass nigga.

198
00:10:32.424 --> 00:10:34.493
Once we move out of here, who cares
what they do to the neighborhood?

199
00:10:34.526 --> 00:10:37.496
Just promise me that today you're
going to look at this and consider it.

200
00:10:37.529 --> 00:10:39.298
I'm... I'm gonna
think about it.

201
00:10:39.331 --> 00:10:41.200
I appreciate it.

202
00:10:41.233 --> 00:10:44.803
<i>Up next, I survived
a hammer to the head</i>

203
00:10:44.837 --> 00:10:47.306
<i>and a boot to the face.</i>

204
00:10:47.339 --> 00:10:49.441
Somethin' fucked-up went
down in that house last night.

205
00:10:49.475 --> 00:10:50.843
You think that was
a dead body?

206
00:10:50.876 --> 00:10:52.911
Would you stop?
It's already hard enough

207
00:10:52.945 --> 00:10:55.381
you got all this crazy
shit in my wife's head.

208
00:10:55.414 --> 00:10:58.517
And no!
I did not see a body.

209
00:10:58.550 --> 00:11:01.253
I think my first instinct is
like, there's dead body in there.

210
00:11:01.287 --> 00:11:03.956
But... Oh, there's a nice
one over there.

211
00:11:17.236 --> 00:11:18.237
No.

212
00:11:22.308 --> 00:11:24.076
Hey, hey, hey! No!

213
00:11:24.109 --> 00:11:25.944
Why you cock-blocking?
She need me.

214
00:11:25.978 --> 00:11:27.846
This could be
my old lady, man.

215
00:11:27.880 --> 00:11:30.316
- She's already married.
- You know I've been in the penitentiary.

216
00:11:30.349 --> 00:11:31.984
- Let me just live, brother.
- Okay.

217
00:11:32.017 --> 00:11:34.386
You've been to prison
two years ago for 10 days

218
00:11:34.420 --> 00:11:35.988
for drinkin' and drivin'.

219
00:11:36.021 --> 00:11:38.023
And you're
a "gangster drinker."

220
00:11:38.057 --> 00:11:40.159
I'm just gonna go over there and just...
just rap a tad to her.

221
00:11:40.192 --> 00:11:41.593
- I'm gonna go. What's up, baby?
- Cronut.

222
00:11:43.462 --> 00:11:46.532
He about to shoot that
midget sperm in that girl.

223
00:11:46.565 --> 00:11:48.434
Bunny! Shit.

224
00:11:48.467 --> 00:11:50.536
Baby, I told you,
you got to get a new wheelchair.

225
00:11:50.569 --> 00:11:52.171
- You got new wheelchair money?
- Ugh!

226
00:11:53.605 --> 00:11:55.240
- I'm sorry, Bunny.
- It's okay.

227
00:11:55.274 --> 00:11:56.875
I didn't mean
to snap at you.

228
00:11:56.909 --> 00:11:58.377
If my penis worked,
I'd make love to you right now.

229
00:11:58.410 --> 00:12:00.212
- I'd hit it from the back.
- I know you would.

230
00:12:00.245 --> 00:12:02.448
Marky Mark style
from <i>Boogie Nights.</i>

231
00:12:02.481 --> 00:12:04.516
Hey! Stay off
my property!

232
00:12:04.550 --> 00:12:06.051
What's up, Clive?

233
00:12:06.085 --> 00:12:07.386
Shouldn't you be makin' up
some bullshit

234
00:12:07.419 --> 00:12:09.054
or whatever else you
do you call work?

235
00:12:10.122 --> 00:12:13.292
You know my husband don't like
you guys comin' over here.

236
00:12:13.325 --> 00:12:14.560
But I like seein' you guys.

237
00:12:14.593 --> 00:12:16.128
What you been up to?

238
00:12:16.161 --> 00:12:17.563
You been rollin' around
this neighborhood

239
00:12:17.596 --> 00:12:20.466
or you just being
kickin' it around?

240
00:12:20.499 --> 00:12:22.601
- Funny, motherfucker!
- Kickin' it!

241
00:12:22.635 --> 00:12:25.003
What are you doing,
writin' your next bestseller?

242
00:12:25.037 --> 00:12:27.473
Who're you trying to be?
New Alex Haley?

243
00:12:27.506 --> 00:12:31.343
Steve Harvey? You gonna try
to make a book into a movie?

244
00:12:31.377 --> 00:12:33.345
You see <i>Think Like a</i> Man?
<i>Think Like a Man 2?</i>

245
00:12:33.379 --> 00:12:34.279
Sucked!

246
00:12:35.214 --> 00:12:37.583
<i>Pootie Tang</i> blew those
two out the water.

247
00:12:37.616 --> 00:12:39.385
Okay, yeah,
I'm writin' a book.

248
00:12:39.418 --> 00:12:41.954
When is
your next marathon, huh?

249
00:12:41.987 --> 00:12:44.323
You gonna help me
tend to my garden?

250
00:12:44.356 --> 00:12:46.392
I'll tend the shit out
of that garden.

251
00:12:46.425 --> 00:12:48.994
Tend more than the garden.
I will bend you over in there. I mean...

252
00:12:49.027 --> 00:12:50.229
So, I have carrots.

253
00:12:50.262 --> 00:12:52.297
I got a carrot.
With a fat head.

254
00:12:52.331 --> 00:12:53.666
What's up with that house
right there?

255
00:12:53.700 --> 00:12:55.968
What's up with them people
that live in there?

256
00:12:56.001 --> 00:12:58.705
I know you can't see
with them thick-ass glasses.

257
00:12:58.738 --> 00:13:00.072
You know
what these eyes have seen?

258
00:13:00.105 --> 00:13:01.140
Yeah, these nuts.

259
00:13:01.173 --> 00:13:02.574
I've been in three wars.

260
00:13:02.608 --> 00:13:04.476
- How you think I got Bunny?
- The government.

261
00:13:04.510 --> 00:13:06.512
That little check you get every
month, she's takin' it.

262
00:13:06.545 --> 00:13:08.614
- I saw into her soul.
- Damn.

263
00:13:08.648 --> 00:13:11.250
I see that little man right there with
the 8th-grade body talkin' to my wife.

264
00:13:11.283 --> 00:13:12.317
You don't think
I see that?

265
00:13:12.351 --> 00:13:13.452
I saw you catch gonorrhea,
baby...

266
00:13:13.485 --> 00:13:14.721
You better watch
your fuckin' mouth!

267
00:13:14.754 --> 00:13:16.388
- Watch your mouth, man!
- I wish you would.

268
00:13:16.422 --> 00:13:18.190
I wish you...
I've been waiting on this.

269
00:13:18.223 --> 00:13:19.992
Why would you kick me in the leg

270
00:13:20.025 --> 00:13:22.428
- where I can't feel it?
- I know you can't... can't feel it.

271
00:13:22.461 --> 00:13:24.596
Come on. You ain't the first
Black guy I got in a fight with.

272
00:13:24.631 --> 00:13:26.733
I can't feel my legs, Carl.
Hit me in the face.

273
00:13:28.200 --> 00:13:29.301
You little bitch.

274
00:13:29.334 --> 00:13:31.203
All day, every day.

275
00:13:31.236 --> 00:13:34.139
Listen, man. Somethin' ain't
right at that house, Carl.

276
00:13:34.173 --> 00:13:35.507
They moved
in the middle of night.

277
00:13:35.541 --> 00:13:37.744
There's never any movement
during the day.

278
00:13:37.777 --> 00:13:39.746
- Yeah.
- Lazy shits won't answer the door,

279
00:13:39.779 --> 00:13:41.046
had a package dropped off.

280
00:13:41.079 --> 00:13:42.981
Mailman brought it
over to me,

281
00:13:43.015 --> 00:13:45.117
sittin' on the front
porch right now.

282
00:13:45.150 --> 00:13:48.187
Hey, Bunny! Come get
that package from Africa!

283
00:13:48.220 --> 00:13:49.488
Hey, Bunny!

284
00:13:49.521 --> 00:13:51.290
Get that package
over there on the back porch.

285
00:13:51.323 --> 00:13:53.058
- I wouldn't. I wouldn't.
- You might get on...

286
00:13:53.091 --> 00:13:54.526
- You feel that, Carl?
- Okay. Let my arm go.

287
00:13:56.361 --> 00:13:57.630
- Let my arm go.
- Let my cousin... aw!

288
00:13:57.664 --> 00:13:58.731
- It fucking hurts.
- Hey.

289
00:13:58.765 --> 00:14:00.733
Let it go!
That shit hurt.

290
00:14:00.767 --> 00:14:03.135
Dang, you got some
upper body strength.

291
00:14:03.168 --> 00:14:05.204
There it is.
Look at that... Africa.

292
00:14:05.237 --> 00:14:07.206
Africa.
Wrapped in velvet.

293
00:14:16.381 --> 00:14:18.283
I'm gonna take it
over there myself.

294
00:14:18.317 --> 00:14:20.720
Cronut...
Cronut!

295
00:14:20.753 --> 00:14:22.722
Why you give him
the fuckin' package?!

296
00:14:22.755 --> 00:14:26.258
It's like we're living across the
street from <i>Diff'rent Strokes.</i>

297
00:14:26.291 --> 00:14:28.560
- Hey, hey, hey. Give me the package, man.
- What the shit?

298
00:14:28.594 --> 00:14:29.995
Cronut!

299
00:14:31.230 --> 00:14:33.499
See? You happy?

300
00:14:35.601 --> 00:14:37.704
You got me runnin' around here,
fightin' motherfuckers and shit...

301
00:14:37.737 --> 00:14:41.373
- I can't do this, man.
- Fuck this, I gotta find out.

302
00:14:41.406 --> 00:14:44.510
- Hey, hey, hey...
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey my ass.

303
00:14:44.543 --> 00:14:45.645
Get it. Get it.

304
00:15:02.729 --> 00:15:05.665
What can I do to... I mean,
for you, gentlemen?

305
00:15:05.698 --> 00:15:07.299
Nigga, we saw you transporting
dead bodies last night.

306
00:15:07.332 --> 00:15:09.434
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, man.
Shut the fuck up.

307
00:15:09.468 --> 00:15:10.770
We did.

308
00:15:10.803 --> 00:15:13.405
You not see me
transport any dead bodies.

309
00:15:13.438 --> 00:15:16.208
We standin' in front of a
chocolate vampire-type nigga.

310
00:15:16.241 --> 00:15:19.611
Sir, and this my little cousin,
Cronut, he's a little retarded.

311
00:15:19.646 --> 00:15:21.748
- Slow as fuck.
- He needs special attention.

312
00:15:21.781 --> 00:15:24.516
- He's on Ritalin, prednisone, and all kind of shit.
- Everything.

313
00:15:24.550 --> 00:15:27.119
This is Dr. Mamuwalde's
residence.

314
00:15:27.152 --> 00:15:29.254
Mama... Mama who?

315
00:15:29.288 --> 00:15:30.489
Ma-mu-wal-day.

316
00:15:30.522 --> 00:15:32.524
- How you pronounce that?
- Ma-mu-wal-day.

317
00:15:32.558 --> 00:15:34.526
Mamuwal...

318
00:15:34.560 --> 00:15:35.862
Ma-mu-wal-day.

319
00:15:35.895 --> 00:15:38.765
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
- Ma-mwa-wal-di.

320
00:15:38.798 --> 00:15:40.365
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
- Ma-mwa-wal-di.

321
00:15:40.399 --> 00:15:41.734
- Ma-mu-wal-day.
- Ma-mwa-wal-di.

322
00:15:41.768 --> 00:15:43.135
- Fix your mouth.
- All right, all right.

323
00:15:43.168 --> 00:15:44.771
- Excuse me.
- Your mama, nigga.

324
00:15:44.804 --> 00:15:47.707
I am Monty. I just
rent a room here.

325
00:15:47.740 --> 00:15:51.109
And I assure you,
you have seen no bodies.

326
00:15:51.143 --> 00:15:52.779
Pleasure to make
your acquaintance.

327
00:15:52.812 --> 00:15:55.213
Nigga, we saw you transport them
goddamn dead bodies in the back.

328
00:15:55.247 --> 00:15:57.583
- If you don't shut the fuck...
- Where you from, bro?

329
00:15:57.616 --> 00:16:00.218
- Hey, man, stop! Sir...
- What?

330
00:16:00.252 --> 00:16:02.521
Mr. Black, do you have
business here?

331
00:16:02.554 --> 00:16:05.223
No. I don't have no business here.
We just wanted to come through and say hey

332
00:16:05.257 --> 00:16:06.826
and make sure
everything was cool.

333
00:16:06.859 --> 00:16:08.493
Why wouldn't it be cool?

334
00:16:09.762 --> 00:16:11.664
- Excuse me?
- Why wouldn't it be?

335
00:16:11.698 --> 00:16:15.668
Because y'all moving in this
motherfucking house at 12:00 at night.

336
00:16:15.702 --> 00:16:17.704
There's people
sleeping around here.

337
00:16:17.737 --> 00:16:21.573
You got crackheads back there
sunbathing into fucking midnight.

338
00:16:23.575 --> 00:16:25.377
Bye, bitch!

339
00:16:25.410 --> 00:16:27.579
Hey, come on.
Get your ass...

340
00:16:28.447 --> 00:16:31.851
I'm gonna drop a dime
on you motherfuckers.

341
00:16:31.884 --> 00:16:35.253
You happy you done made me waste
a whole day on some bullshit?

342
00:16:35.287 --> 00:16:37.222
- Hey, man. Just fall back.
- Fall back for what?

343
00:16:37.255 --> 00:16:38.357
What you got to say now?

344
00:16:38.390 --> 00:16:39.759
You don't think
that shit weird?

345
00:16:40.927 --> 00:16:42.527
How'd he know
your last name?

346
00:16:42.561 --> 00:16:44.631
I'm a famous writer,
Cronut.

347
00:16:44.664 --> 00:16:46.164
This nigga delusional.

348
00:16:46.198 --> 00:16:48.835
My book is in-in-in
Barnes and Noble's.

349
00:16:48.868 --> 00:16:52.639
Nigga! Ain't nobody
reading your books! Retire!

350
00:16:52.672 --> 00:16:54.674
Look, you're running
around here smoking that weed,

351
00:16:54.707 --> 00:16:57.744
you're paranoid,
you're smoking 2K, K2,

352
00:16:57.777 --> 00:16:59.211
or whatever the fuck
you doing...

353
00:16:59.244 --> 00:17:00.880
First of all,
I'm not smoking K2.

354
00:17:00.913 --> 00:17:02.649
I'm smoking strictly weed.

355
00:17:02.682 --> 00:17:04.616
And second of all,
something ain't right about that house,

356
00:17:04.651 --> 00:17:08.420
because boy was from Africa,
but he had a French accent.

357
00:17:08.453 --> 00:17:11.323
He got a sideburn that curl
up, like the devil.

358
00:17:11.356 --> 00:17:13.793
I'm thinking, man. You?
We got to get to the bottom of it.

359
00:17:13.826 --> 00:17:16.528
We not getting
to the bottom of shit.

360
00:17:16.561 --> 00:17:18.597
Well, you write your book.
I'll just be a detective.

361
00:17:18.631 --> 00:17:19.966
A detective for what?

362
00:17:19.999 --> 00:17:24.971
Africa, Carl. Africa.
Are you listening to me?

363
00:17:25.004 --> 00:17:26.706
Southwest don't go
to Africa.

364
00:17:26.739 --> 00:17:28.440
You won't help me do shit.

365
00:17:28.473 --> 00:17:30.475
I'm trying to marry
this man wife,

366
00:17:30.509 --> 00:17:32.277
I'm trying to tell you about
these devil worshippers over here

367
00:17:32.310 --> 00:17:33.913
and your book suck.
How about that?

368
00:17:37.582 --> 00:17:39.618
<i>Shady Management.</i>

369
00:17:39.652 --> 00:17:40.920
<i>Leave a message.</i>

370
00:17:40.953 --> 00:17:43.455
Hey, it's Carl Black.
Just calling you again,

371
00:17:43.488 --> 00:17:46.693
just lettin' you know
that I'm writing away.

372
00:17:46.726 --> 00:17:48.460
I need that advancement.

373
00:17:48.493 --> 00:17:51.664
The water bill's due,
we need bread, dishwash li...

374
00:17:55.635 --> 00:17:57.003
<i>Do you know who I am?</i>

375
00:17:57.036 --> 00:18:01.007
<i>I am Wooky. The one
that survived the Purge.</i>

376
00:18:01.040 --> 00:18:02.842
<i>I can help you survive
your problem.</i>

377
00:18:02.875 --> 00:18:05.310
<i>Are you being bullied?
Do you hear noises at night?</i>

378
00:18:05.343 --> 00:18:06.611
<i>Phone me.</i>

379
00:18:06.646 --> 00:18:08.014
<i>Are you sick?
Do you have a headache?</i>

380
00:18:08.047 --> 00:18:11.283
<i>Are you hearing things?
Malaria? Ebola?</i>

381
00:18:11.316 --> 00:18:12.719
<i>Demon experience?</i>

382
00:18:12.752 --> 00:18:14.987
<i>Call me. Whisper to me.</i>

383
00:18:15.021 --> 00:18:17.657
<i>I will fight your battles
for you today.</i>

384
00:18:19.058 --> 00:18:20.492
<i>I am Wooky.</i>

385
00:18:21.526 --> 00:18:23.029
Ain't nobody go
for that bullshit.

386
00:18:26.632 --> 00:18:28.968
All right, yeah. Shit.

387
00:18:34.006 --> 00:18:35.842
Allie Black.

388
00:18:35.875 --> 00:18:38.644
Yes, Daddy? Yes?

389
00:18:38.678 --> 00:18:40.445
- What you doing?
- I'm studying.

390
00:18:40.479 --> 00:18:41.748
- You're studying.
- Yes.

391
00:18:41.781 --> 00:18:43.381
Yeah. I thought you
was home for fall?

392
00:18:43.415 --> 00:18:45.383
Doesn't mean I still
don't have to study, Dad.

393
00:18:45.417 --> 00:18:48.386
You know our family have been
going through a lot of stuff,

394
00:18:48.420 --> 00:18:51.057
and you don't like to follow
the rules all the time,

395
00:18:51.090 --> 00:18:53.425
'cause I've been asked you
a whole bunch of times

396
00:18:53.458 --> 00:18:55.393
to keep these little boys
out of my...

397
00:18:55.427 --> 00:18:57.362
- Daddy, I can explain...
- Ah! What the hell is wrong with you?

398
00:18:57.395 --> 00:18:58.631
I know a lot of gang shit.
You know...

399
00:18:58.664 --> 00:18:59.932
I thought he was dead!

400
00:18:59.966 --> 00:19:02.367
No, bitch.
Dying's for pussies.

401
00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:04.837
I told you to keep these
little boys out of this house.

402
00:19:04.871 --> 00:19:06.973
I sent you to school
for a education...

403
00:19:07.006 --> 00:19:09.075
- I had to drop out, okay?
- You dropped out?

404
00:19:09.108 --> 00:19:11.476
We dropped out.
A couple goes...

405
00:19:11.510 --> 00:19:14.013
You and him about to be living off
that little cripple check every month.

406
00:19:14.046 --> 00:19:16.015
- Baby, give me my cane. I'm out.
- Okay.

407
00:19:16.048 --> 00:19:17.850
Yeah, this
don't make no sense.

408
00:19:17.884 --> 00:19:19.551
I don't know what
you going through, Allie.

409
00:19:19.584 --> 00:19:21.788
Daddy, Daddy. Just...
just leave him alone, okay?

410
00:19:21.821 --> 00:19:23.488
If you're gonna do
somethin', do somethin'.

411
00:19:23.522 --> 00:19:24.724
It's already done.

412
00:19:24.757 --> 00:19:26.491
If you're gonna do
somethin', do somethin'.

413
00:19:26.525 --> 00:19:27.894
Freezee!

414
00:19:27.927 --> 00:19:29.361
Daddy,
why'd you do that?

415
00:19:29.394 --> 00:19:30.495
I didn't even touch him.

416
00:19:30.529 --> 00:19:31.798
That's all right.
You got it, baby?

417
00:19:31.831 --> 00:19:33.065
Come on. Help his arm.
Get his arm right there.

418
00:19:33.099 --> 00:19:35.034
Hey, I don't need your help!
I'm in the ADA.

419
00:19:35.067 --> 00:19:36.568
Baby, you do need help.

420
00:19:36.601 --> 00:19:38.004
- All right.
- You need some help, okay?

421
00:19:39.471 --> 00:19:40.539
Yeah. Lift him up.
One, two, three.

422
00:19:41.974 --> 00:19:43.910
Fuck you! Ain't nobody
need your assistance.

423
00:19:43.943 --> 00:19:45.711
Baby, go start
the car, okay?

424
00:19:45.745 --> 00:19:47.647
- All right.
- We'll be out of here in a second.

425
00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:49.115
I'm gonna let you know one thing.
My dick may not work,

426
00:19:49.148 --> 00:19:52.051
but my tongue game's
strong on your girl.

427
00:19:52.084 --> 00:19:53.686
Okay. Baby, go.

428
00:19:53.719 --> 00:19:54.954
Ask him for some
gas money, baby.

429
00:19:54.987 --> 00:19:57.422
I will. I'll ask him
for some. Okay.

430
00:19:57.455 --> 00:19:58.925
Oh, thank God.

431
00:19:58.958 --> 00:20:00.893
But why don't you get
somebody that can walk?

432
00:20:00.927 --> 00:20:02.427
I ain't helping.

433
00:20:02.460 --> 00:20:04.396
Daddy, listen.
Okay, I had to drop out

434
00:20:04.429 --> 00:20:06.464
because your check bounced.

435
00:20:06.498 --> 00:20:08.533
And you would know that if you
cared about anybody in this family

436
00:20:08.567 --> 00:20:10.569
except yourself
and that damn book.

437
00:20:10.602 --> 00:20:13.039
He loves me.

438
00:20:15.473 --> 00:20:17.442
He only cares about himself.
He's so selfish.

439
00:20:17.475 --> 00:20:19.011
Allie!

440
00:20:22.815 --> 00:20:24.083
Allie!

441
00:20:24.116 --> 00:20:25.651
Allie!

442
00:20:30.122 --> 00:20:32.992
Ekekek. Ekekek.

443
00:20:33.025 --> 00:20:34.727
Psst! Ekekek.

444
00:20:36.595 --> 00:20:38.798
Carl, come here.

445
00:20:38.831 --> 00:20:39.999
You gotta see this shit.

446
00:20:40.032 --> 00:20:41.634
Get over where?
How do I get over there?

447
00:20:41.667 --> 00:20:42.869
Hop over, man.

448
00:20:45.004 --> 00:20:47.640
No, no, for real.
For real. Come here.

449
00:20:47.673 --> 00:20:49.876
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Calm down. Calm down.

450
00:20:49.909 --> 00:20:52.044
Check that. Shit!

451
00:20:56.481 --> 00:20:57.950
Is that Michael Jackson?

452
00:20:57.984 --> 00:20:59.852
<i>Where's the box from Africa?</i>

453
00:20:59.886 --> 00:21:01.419
- That's so weird.
- Hey! Hey, man!

454
00:21:01.453 --> 00:21:02.955
Hey, man,
don't do that!

455
00:21:02.989 --> 00:21:04.991
Why are you always
creeping up on people, man?

456
00:21:05.024 --> 00:21:07.627
- Don't do that.
- That's what I do. I creep.

457
00:21:07.660 --> 00:21:10.062
- Look, look.
- <i>Find it.</i>

458
00:21:11.297 --> 00:21:14.100
They just moved into the house
and people are already coming over.

459
00:21:17.169 --> 00:21:19.739
Goddamn. She got
a big 'ol ass.

460
00:21:21.707 --> 00:21:24.442
Hello. I'm here
for Dr. Mamuwalde.

461
00:21:33.219 --> 00:21:34.854
Something ain't right.

462
00:21:34.887 --> 00:21:36.088
I'mma tell you
something.

463
00:21:36.122 --> 00:21:39.158
Leave them goddamn
neighbors alone.

464
00:21:39.191 --> 00:21:42.695
- Leave them alone! I'm out of here.
- Look.

465
00:21:42.728 --> 00:21:43.896
I think you
made him mad.

466
00:21:43.930 --> 00:21:45.965
He's always mad at me.
Don't even trip.

467
00:21:45.998 --> 00:21:48.067
She ain't coming back out of there.
I told you, once you go in there,

468
00:21:48.100 --> 00:21:50.169
you ain't coming out,
especially if you're fine.

469
00:21:50.202 --> 00:21:52.939
All the ugly bitches came right
out, but this coochie?

470
00:21:52.972 --> 00:21:55.207
I'm going in.

471
00:21:55.241 --> 00:21:56.909
I'm neighborhood watch.

472
00:22:01.213 --> 00:22:02.882
Yeah. You go
right on in there.

473
00:22:02.915 --> 00:22:05.084
I trust you.

474
00:22:05.117 --> 00:22:06.786
<i>Snitch, Snitch, come in.</i>

475
00:22:10.588 --> 00:22:11.958
What can I do for you?

476
00:22:11.991 --> 00:22:14.260
I'm neighborhood watch.
I need to get in this house.

477
00:22:14.293 --> 00:22:17.830
Well then, please, come in,
Mr. Neighborhood Watch.

478
00:22:17.863 --> 00:22:19.597
You're very welcome here.

479
00:22:26.238 --> 00:22:28.774
Cronut, what the fuck
are you doing?

480
00:22:28.808 --> 00:22:29.775
Shhh!

481
00:22:32.778 --> 00:22:35.114
Why are you looking
in their window?

482
00:22:35.147 --> 00:22:36.649
Get out of them
people's house.

483
00:22:38.550 --> 00:22:40.086
What you see?

484
00:22:40.119 --> 00:22:41.754
Well, first of all,
this house looks amazing on the inside,

485
00:22:41.787 --> 00:22:44.890
but they're doing
some freaky shit for real.

486
00:22:44.924 --> 00:22:48.761
What? What's he doing?

487
00:22:51.931 --> 00:22:55.533
Cronut! What's going on?

488
00:22:55.567 --> 00:22:58.037
- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- What? What? What?

489
00:22:58.070 --> 00:23:00.673
- Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- What? What?

490
00:23:00.706 --> 00:23:02.141
Go, go.

491
00:23:04.576 --> 00:23:07.880
- Oh, shit.
- Why we running, man?

492
00:23:07.913 --> 00:23:10.783
- Hey, <i>¿qué pasó?</i>
- OG. Hugo.

493
00:23:10.816 --> 00:23:12.685
There's vampires, man.
There's vampires.

494
00:23:12.718 --> 00:23:13.986
Re... relax. Ain't no...

495
00:23:14.020 --> 00:23:16.956
The vampire feeds on blood.

496
00:23:16.989 --> 00:23:20.793
But what he really wants

497
00:23:20.826 --> 00:23:23.295
is to find the things
that you love most

498
00:23:23.329 --> 00:23:25.530
and twist you...

499
00:23:26.866 --> 00:23:30.535
and torment you
every day of your life.

500
00:23:32.705 --> 00:23:34.707
You're a dark motherfucker.

501
00:23:34.740 --> 00:23:37.276
You've been saying some crazy
shit back here in this backyard.

502
00:23:37.309 --> 00:23:39.078
So what should we do, OG?

503
00:23:39.111 --> 00:23:41.047
Find out what he wants.

504
00:23:42.982 --> 00:23:46.285
Find out what he's doing
in our neighborhood.

505
00:23:46.318 --> 00:23:47.853
Think about it.

506
00:23:47.887 --> 00:23:49.722
We ain't never seen
Dr. Mamuwalde in the daytime.

507
00:23:49.755 --> 00:23:51.257
- You know why?
- Why?

508
00:23:51.290 --> 00:23:53.192
"And they rise from
the grave at night

509
00:23:53.225 --> 00:23:55.327
- to feast on the living."
- Oh, no.

510
00:23:55.361 --> 00:23:58.030
Shut the fuck up
for a second.

511
00:23:58.064 --> 00:23:59.899
Just for one second,
shut the fuck up.

512
00:23:59.932 --> 00:24:02.735
You know what? All that
coming to... to life

513
00:24:02.768 --> 00:24:06.105
and the dead rising up
and the <i>Tales of the Crypt</i>

514
00:24:06.138 --> 00:24:08.340
and the Michael Jackson,
the monsters,

515
00:24:08.374 --> 00:24:10.810
all that is a bunch of bullshit!

516
00:24:10.843 --> 00:24:12.778
Did you see the little
guy in the window?

517
00:24:12.812 --> 00:24:14.213
'Cause you probably
think it's Prince

518
00:24:14.246 --> 00:24:16.182
or I don't know who
the fuck you think it is.

519
00:24:16.215 --> 00:24:17.917
It's a little pimp in there.

520
00:24:18.851 --> 00:24:22.288
Bitches is getting slapped
over in that house.

521
00:24:22.321 --> 00:24:24.323
Man, I know what I saw, man.
That was a goddamn vampire.

522
00:24:24.356 --> 00:24:25.925
Definitely.
I know what I saw.

523
00:24:25.958 --> 00:24:28.227
A pimp live next door
to us, okay?

524
00:24:28.260 --> 00:24:30.029
P-I-M-P.

525
00:24:30.062 --> 00:24:32.264
Put it in my pocket.

526
00:24:32.298 --> 00:24:36.001
The reason why he sleep all day?
Because pimping is at night!

527
00:24:36.035 --> 00:24:38.003
I'm gone. I'm getting
the fuck out of here.

528
00:24:38.037 --> 00:24:39.638
I'm finna go write my book.

529
00:24:39.672 --> 00:24:41.273
You done lost
your motherfucking mind.

530
00:24:41.307 --> 00:24:43.142
You need to go sign
up for the circus.

531
00:24:43.175 --> 00:24:46.145
- Oh, man.
- Don't invite him in.

532
00:24:46.178 --> 00:24:47.746
What?

533
00:24:47.780 --> 00:24:49.748
Only way to keep a vampire
out of your house.

534
00:24:49.782 --> 00:24:51.817
Don't invite him in.

535
00:24:52.952 --> 00:24:54.420
I'm gone, man. I ain't...

536
00:24:54.453 --> 00:24:56.755
Yeah, you go, man.
We're gonna get to the bottom of it.

537
00:24:56.789 --> 00:24:58.824
I'm gonna do some research.
We'll figure it out, bro!

538
00:24:58.858 --> 00:25:00.659
- Just trust me!
- Shut the fuck up.

539
00:25:01.694 --> 00:25:03.362
Well, what about...
what about if you live in the RV?

540
00:25:03.395 --> 00:25:06.031
- Is there any rules there?
- Don't invite him in.

541
00:25:21.981 --> 00:25:24.283
I ain't got no more bananas,
'cause this shit is...

542
00:25:24.316 --> 00:25:27.019
They got... bats.

543
00:25:27.052 --> 00:25:28.687
Vampire coming at me.

544
00:25:28.721 --> 00:25:30.055
God, I didn't sign up
for this shit.

545
00:25:31.757 --> 00:25:35.728
Fucking nude.

546
00:25:37.429 --> 00:25:38.998
<i>Dispatch
to Snitch. Over.</i>

547
00:25:39.031 --> 00:25:42.067
Do you know what
happens to snitches?

548
00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:50.176
Shit!

549
00:25:50.209 --> 00:25:53.746
These bitches bit
Snitch's neck!

550
00:25:53.779 --> 00:25:56.715
Mama! Oh, shit!
That was shit. They got me.

551
00:25:58.050 --> 00:26:00.052
Oh, damn. Oh, damn.

552
00:26:11.096 --> 00:26:13.732
<i>You know me as the one
that survived the Purge.</i>

553
00:26:13.766 --> 00:26:16.468
<i>Therefore, I could survive anything.</i>

554
00:26:16.502 --> 00:26:18.003
<i>What is going on
in your life?</i>

555
00:26:18.037 --> 00:26:20.139
- Late night?
- Oh. Hey.

556
00:26:20.172 --> 00:26:21.974
Yeah. It was
the worst last night.

557
00:26:22.007 --> 00:26:23.342
I can explain, though.

558
00:26:23.375 --> 00:26:26.278
Can you tell me
what happened with Allie?

559
00:26:26.312 --> 00:26:29.215
- She called you?
- She's mad because you don't trust her.

560
00:26:29.248 --> 00:26:30.416
No. She had
her little boy in my house.

561
00:26:30.449 --> 00:26:32.251
She ain't paying no
rent up in here.

562
00:26:32.284 --> 00:26:34.220
You need to be the bigger man
and call her and apologize,

563
00:26:34.253 --> 00:26:36.488
because I'm not dealing
with all of this mess.

564
00:26:36.522 --> 00:26:39.825
And speaking of which, did you call the
real estate agent like I asked you to?

565
00:26:39.858 --> 00:26:41.160
Oh, man.

566
00:26:41.193 --> 00:26:43.963
I'm mentally exhausted
from all of this.

567
00:26:43.996 --> 00:26:46.198
I'm having a hard
time writing, okay?

568
00:26:46.232 --> 00:26:48.234
<i>Lorena.</i>

569
00:26:50.369 --> 00:26:52.371
<i>Come, Lorena.</i>

570
00:26:52.404 --> 00:26:55.774
Oh, my God.

571
00:26:55.808 --> 00:26:58.444
- Oh, my God.
- What's going on with you?

572
00:26:58.477 --> 00:27:00.012
Oh, my God.

573
00:27:00.045 --> 00:27:01.347
- <i>Do you feel it</i>...
- Oh, my God.

574
00:27:01.380 --> 00:27:02.848
- <i>...all over your body?</i>
- Oh, shit.

575
00:27:02.881 --> 00:27:03.882
How is this happening?

576
00:27:03.916 --> 00:27:05.284
Oh, my God.

577
00:27:05.317 --> 00:27:07.219
Am I missing out
on something?

578
00:27:07.253 --> 00:27:09.888
Oh, yes.
Don't stop.

579
00:27:09.922 --> 00:27:12.992
Oh, my. Carl.

580
00:27:13.025 --> 00:27:14.326
Carl,
did you hear that?

581
00:27:14.360 --> 00:27:16.128
Hey, you didn't... you
didn't came in here.

582
00:27:16.161 --> 00:27:18.797
Shhh!

583
00:27:18.831 --> 00:27:22.167
Okay, then.
That's what I needed.

584
00:27:22.201 --> 00:27:25.471
<i>Local authorities are
hesitant to label this a serial killer...</i>

585
00:27:25.504 --> 00:27:28.040
- Oh, my God. - <i>...but sources
close to the investigation</i>

586
00:27:28.073 --> 00:27:29.875
<i>were heard saying</i>

587
00:27:29.908 --> 00:27:33.345
<i>"This is some fucked up shit
right here, my nigga."</i>

588
00:27:33.379 --> 00:27:35.347
Who's doing all these terrible
things to these women?

589
00:27:35.381 --> 00:27:37.249
- <i>...they went on to say the dead...</i>
- Oh, my God.

590
00:27:37.283 --> 00:27:39.184
I'm telling you,
we need to get out of here.

591
00:27:39.218 --> 00:27:41.086
Can you please, please
call that real estate man?

592
00:27:41.120 --> 00:27:42.821
- The paper's right there.
- I'm gonna call.

593
00:27:42.855 --> 00:27:44.089
- I'm gonna call him.
- Okay.

594
00:27:44.123 --> 00:27:45.591
- <i>...signing off saying...</i>
- Now.

595
00:27:45.624 --> 00:27:48.427
- Call him, please.
- <i>...hoes got to eat too.</i>

596
00:27:56.435 --> 00:27:58.103
Allie!

597
00:27:59.104 --> 00:28:01.540
This is my 17th message.

598
00:28:01.573 --> 00:28:04.443
Please call me back, okay?
I'm looking for you.

599
00:28:04.476 --> 00:28:07.179
I'm worried about you.
Call me back.

600
00:28:09.148 --> 00:28:10.549
Hey.

601
00:28:13.118 --> 00:28:14.586
Listen, I'm not letting
you in my house

602
00:28:14.620 --> 00:28:16.455
so you can tell them
same ghost stories...

603
00:28:16.488 --> 00:28:18.057
No, you need to see
this for real.

604
00:28:18.090 --> 00:28:19.558
<i>Snitch,
do you read me?</i>

605
00:28:19.591 --> 00:28:21.060
Look like
a busted bike to me.

606
00:28:21.093 --> 00:28:23.529
No, look.
This Rico bike.

607
00:28:23.562 --> 00:28:26.231
- They done kidnapped Rico, bro.
- <i>Dispatch to Snitch, over.</i>

608
00:28:26.265 --> 00:28:28.167
He don't go nowhere
without this bike.

609
00:28:28.200 --> 00:28:30.569
His license suspended.
He got no choice but to ride this bike.

610
00:28:30.602 --> 00:28:33.572
Look, Rico is a grown man
who done looked in the mirror

611
00:28:33.605 --> 00:28:35.441
and realized
he ain't got no business

612
00:28:35.474 --> 00:28:38.410
being 50 years old
on a tricycle.

613
00:28:38.444 --> 00:28:40.045
Or the vampires
could have got him.

614
00:28:41.613 --> 00:28:43.182
<i>Dispatch to Snitch, over.</i>

615
00:28:44.651 --> 00:28:46.618
Rico saw
something last night.

616
00:28:46.653 --> 00:28:48.554
I think I bet the vampires
snatched his ass up.

617
00:28:48.587 --> 00:28:50.589
<i>Snitch, what is your 411?</i>

618
00:28:50.622 --> 00:28:52.524
That's Freezee's car.

619
00:28:52.558 --> 00:28:54.960
In there pimping
my daughter!

620
00:29:02.334 --> 00:29:04.203
The sun's setting.

621
00:29:06.505 --> 00:29:09.141
The vampire's
about to wake up.

622
00:29:09.174 --> 00:29:10.876
Don't invite him in.

623
00:29:14.113 --> 00:29:15.648
<i>Imbecile!</i>

624
00:29:15.682 --> 00:29:17.549
<i>Damn it, man!
You scared the hell out of me!</i>

625
00:29:17.583 --> 00:29:20.219
<i>Who the hell you
callin' an imbecile?</i>

626
00:29:20.252 --> 00:29:23.389
<i>Now listen, you take your hands off of me!
I don't know you!</i>

627
00:29:27.960 --> 00:29:29.194
Whoop.

628
00:29:29.228 --> 00:29:31.063
- Stop playing!
- Got you.

629
00:29:31.096 --> 00:29:32.197
You little bitch.

630
00:29:36.770 --> 00:29:39.338
No, but for real, though, this is crazy.
What is we doing?

631
00:29:41.473 --> 00:29:43.208
I know Allie's
in this house.

632
00:29:43.242 --> 00:29:45.110
Allie!

633
00:29:45.144 --> 00:29:47.413
These maniacs done kidnapped Rico
and you just banging on the door?

634
00:29:47.446 --> 00:29:49.047
I've been calling
Allie all day

635
00:29:49.081 --> 00:29:50.449
and she ain't answer
the phone. Relax.

636
00:29:50.482 --> 00:29:52.217
Allie!

637
00:29:52.251 --> 00:29:55.120
- What the fuck?
- Can I help you, gentlemen?

638
00:29:55.154 --> 00:29:57.456
My daughter's
in there, man.

639
00:29:57.489 --> 00:30:00.092
Come on, man. Give me my daughter
back, man. This is crazy.

640
00:30:00.125 --> 00:30:02.361
You got the fuckin'
Halloween shit going on?

641
00:30:02.394 --> 00:30:04.196
That's my daughter!

642
00:30:04.229 --> 00:30:06.733
I'm sure I don't know
what you mean, neighbor.

643
00:30:06.766 --> 00:30:08.668
The car is in the back.

644
00:30:08.701 --> 00:30:10.670
I've been looking
for my daughter all day.

645
00:30:10.703 --> 00:30:12.204
Your pimping gonna stop.

646
00:30:12.237 --> 00:30:13.706
God don't like ugly, man.

647
00:30:13.740 --> 00:30:17.276
Mr. Black, your daughter
is not in this house.

648
00:30:17.309 --> 00:30:18.343
Ah!

649
00:30:20.713 --> 00:30:23.382
Can I come in the house?

650
00:30:23.415 --> 00:30:25.484
The doctor will not
be here until later.

651
00:30:25.517 --> 00:30:28.554
I wonder why? You got all them dead
bodies in there you don't want us to see?

652
00:30:28.587 --> 00:30:31.724
But, if you'd like
to come in, Mr. Black,

653
00:30:31.758 --> 00:30:37.062
you will find out in fact that
your daughter is not in this house.

654
00:30:37.095 --> 00:30:38.997
- We can come in and search the whole...
- Mr. Black, please.

655
00:30:39.031 --> 00:30:40.399
You want... that's what you
want us to do?

656
00:30:40.432 --> 00:30:41.967
Please.

657
00:30:44.336 --> 00:30:45.471
Be my guest.

658
00:30:45.504 --> 00:30:47.506
You want some real niggas...

659
00:30:47.539 --> 00:30:48.775
Enjoy yourselves, please.

660
00:30:48.808 --> 00:30:50.375
- ...come in your house?
- Go.

661
00:30:52.745 --> 00:30:54.781
Hey, stop.

662
00:30:57.817 --> 00:30:59.051
Allie!

663
00:30:59.084 --> 00:31:00.653
Allie!

664
00:31:02.354 --> 00:31:04.389
What?

665
00:31:04.423 --> 00:31:06.558
- Carl, look at this shit.
- What?

666
00:31:12.832 --> 00:31:15.467
That shit
look crazy, man.

667
00:31:15.501 --> 00:31:17.436
What the fuck is that
dog thing right there?

668
00:31:17.469 --> 00:31:18.638
- Mr. Black!
- Hey! Shit!

669
00:31:18.671 --> 00:31:20.439
Damn, bro!
What the fuck is going on?

670
00:31:20.472 --> 00:31:21.641
- What's wrong with you, bro?
- Don't touch these dolls.

671
00:31:21.674 --> 00:31:23.475
What is wrong with you?

672
00:31:23.509 --> 00:31:28.080
These are very, very expensive
West African voodoo totems.

673
00:31:28.113 --> 00:31:30.148
- The doctor is a collector.
- Allie!

674
00:31:32.652 --> 00:31:33.686
Allie!

675
00:31:38.156 --> 00:31:39.659
Allie! Whoa!

676
00:31:40.559 --> 00:31:42.629
- Is my daddy in here?
- Please come in, Allie.

677
00:31:42.662 --> 00:31:43.663
Carl.

678
00:31:45.430 --> 00:31:46.532
- What?
- Guess who come in.

679
00:31:46.565 --> 00:31:48.300
Dad! What are you
doing here?

680
00:31:48.333 --> 00:31:50.602
Allie, what are you doing?
Where your ass been at?

681
00:31:50.637 --> 00:31:51.838
What the hell's going on?

682
00:31:51.871 --> 00:31:53.572
Why are you
in these nice people's house?

683
00:31:53.605 --> 00:31:55.775
These people ain't nice.
This is a pimp's house.

684
00:31:55.808 --> 00:31:57.710
- This is a nice house.
- Oh, my God.

685
00:31:57.744 --> 00:31:59.646
Man, this is crazy!
Look, he's been putting

686
00:31:59.679 --> 00:32:02.281
all kind of crazy stories
in my head about you.

687
00:32:02.314 --> 00:32:04.116
The car's in the back...

688
00:32:04.149 --> 00:32:06.753
See, I knew you were going to
be tripping when you found out.

689
00:32:06.786 --> 00:32:09.154
God. Found out what?

690
00:32:09.956 --> 00:32:12.457
I just gotta tell you.
I'm just going to say it.

691
00:32:14.560 --> 00:32:16.495
- I'm movin' out.
- Movin' out where?

692
00:32:16.528 --> 00:32:18.564
Me and Freezee
are going to get married

693
00:32:18.597 --> 00:32:20.232
and we're going
to make a life together.

694
00:32:20.265 --> 00:32:22.635
I will take my belt off
and tear your ass up.

695
00:32:22.669 --> 00:32:25.504
Daddy, I can make my own choices.
It's called feminism.

696
00:32:25.537 --> 00:32:28.808
<i>Oh,
I know all about liberating some women.</i>

697
00:32:28.841 --> 00:32:30.677
- You hear that?
- Yeah.

698
00:32:39.318 --> 00:32:44.222
Let me introduce
Dr. Mamuwalde!

699
00:32:46.826 --> 00:32:49.261
Dr. Mamuwalde.

700
00:32:50.228 --> 00:32:52.431
Dr. Mamuwalde.

701
00:32:52.464 --> 00:32:54.701
Dr. Mamuwalde.

702
00:32:55.735 --> 00:32:57.770
Dr. Mamuwalde.

703
00:32:58.771 --> 00:33:01.273
Dr. Mamuwalde.

704
00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:04.176
So beautiful.

705
00:33:04.209 --> 00:33:06.345
Dr. Mamuwalde.

706
00:33:07.847 --> 00:33:10.616
Dr. Mamuwalde.

707
00:33:11.383 --> 00:33:14.353
Dr. Mamuwalde.

708
00:33:14.386 --> 00:33:16.923
Is that a Black
bite-sized Hugh Hefner?

709
00:33:16.956 --> 00:33:19.591
Dr. Mamuwalde.

710
00:33:19.625 --> 00:33:22.194
Dr. Mamuwalde.

711
00:33:23.395 --> 00:33:25.698
Dr. Mamuwalde.

712
00:33:25.732 --> 00:33:27.332
All right, man.

713
00:33:27.366 --> 00:33:30.335
Monty, I told you,
three times.

714
00:33:30.369 --> 00:33:31.871
Yeah, nigga, damn.

715
00:33:31.904 --> 00:33:33.673
Every day is a struggle,

716
00:33:33.706 --> 00:33:36.876
but every night
is a feast, you feel me?

717
00:33:36.909 --> 00:33:40.379
Carl Black!
Show me some love.

718
00:33:40.412 --> 00:33:41.714
I can give you some
from right here.

719
00:33:41.748 --> 00:33:43.448
I can't come over
and give up no...

720
00:33:43.482 --> 00:33:45.818
- no love shit, dog.
- Mm-mm.

721
00:33:45.852 --> 00:33:49.856
Welcome to my humble abode,
Carl Black.

722
00:33:49.889 --> 00:33:51.891
How the fuck
do you know my name?

723
00:33:51.924 --> 00:33:55.193
That's what's crazy.
You been on my IG page?

724
00:33:55.227 --> 00:33:57.529
Oh, I've had
my third eye on you.

725
00:33:57.562 --> 00:33:59.231
I mean, if it was about
that shit the other night,

726
00:33:59.264 --> 00:34:00.465
all right, look,
I ain't got...

727
00:34:00.499 --> 00:34:02.935
The doctor is
a fan of your book...

728
00:34:02.969 --> 00:34:03.970
- Ooh.
- Mr. Black.

729
00:34:04.003 --> 00:34:05.938
Shit. Mm.

730
00:34:05.972 --> 00:34:08.607
And doodoo is
a fan of your mouth.

731
00:34:08.641 --> 00:34:10.609
- Dad.
- You know my book?

732
00:34:10.643 --> 00:34:11.978
- Wow.
- Mm.

733
00:34:12.011 --> 00:34:13.612
I told you, you got
to get back in there.

734
00:34:13.646 --> 00:34:15.715
You know he's in, uh,
a tough spot right now.

735
00:34:15.748 --> 00:34:17.215
- He's in a artistic bind.
- Yeah. I'm trying to write a new book.

736
00:34:17.249 --> 00:34:18.918
Yeah. You see,
the first one was good.

737
00:34:18.951 --> 00:34:20.753
- Yeah. The second one.
- Now, I'm trying to do...

738
00:34:20.787 --> 00:34:22.789
- I'm trying to do the second one.
- Gotta be off the chain.

739
00:34:22.822 --> 00:34:24.456
It's a fine piece
of literature.

740
00:34:24.489 --> 00:34:26.458
The shit was
a modern-day classic.

741
00:34:27.960 --> 00:34:29.896
Dr. Mamuwalde.

742
00:34:29.929 --> 00:34:33.532
What type of medicine
you practice, bro?

743
00:34:33.565 --> 00:34:35.768
I practice
the type of medicine

744
00:34:35.802 --> 00:34:38.336
for those
with a particular affliction.

745
00:34:38.370 --> 00:34:41.273
Take two of these and call me in the morning.

746
00:34:42.507 --> 00:34:44.711
Oh, this.

747
00:34:44.744 --> 00:34:45.845
Bless his name.

748
00:34:45.878 --> 00:34:47.747
I knew you was a pimp.

749
00:34:47.780 --> 00:34:50.315
- Ha. Such harsh language, Mr. Black.
- Yeah.

750
00:34:50.348 --> 00:34:52.584
I am a purveyor
and provocateur

751
00:34:52.617 --> 00:34:56.488
of fine ass bitches
and high-priced pleasure.

752
00:34:56.521 --> 00:34:58.891
I know what I'm looking at
when I see it.

753
00:34:58.925 --> 00:35:00.693
Hold on. Wait a minute,
little George Jefferson.

754
00:35:00.727 --> 00:35:03.328
We ain't doing no provocative
nothin' around here.

755
00:35:03.361 --> 00:35:04.731
This is my daughter.

756
00:35:04.764 --> 00:35:06.766
Ain't nothin' going up
in there but a tampon.

757
00:35:06.799 --> 00:35:08.366
- Daddy!
- Mr. Black, I assure you,

758
00:35:08.400 --> 00:35:11.503
I may be a pimp,
but I am no monster.

759
00:35:11.536 --> 00:35:14.006
Matter of fact, to prove my point,

760
00:35:14.040 --> 00:35:19.377
allow me. A mind is
a terrible thing to waste.

761
00:35:19.411 --> 00:35:21.613
This is for your education.

762
00:35:21.647 --> 00:35:22.648
Really?

763
00:35:27.086 --> 00:35:28.921
- No.
- Ooh. Daddy!

764
00:35:28.955 --> 00:35:31.724
No! We ain't raisin'
no THOTs around here!

765
00:35:31.758 --> 00:35:33.592
- We ain't doing no THOTin'!
- But we need the money!

766
00:35:33.625 --> 00:35:35.995
You... but we ain't getting
the money that kind of way.

767
00:35:36.028 --> 00:35:38.831
We sellin' books
around here, not pussy!

768
00:35:38.865 --> 00:35:41.566
The Black man has yet again
said no to education.

769
00:35:41.600 --> 00:35:43.936
- Fuck you! Come on. Get your ass out of here.
- Daddy!

770
00:35:43.970 --> 00:35:46.404
- Why are you always yelling at people?
- Fuck you, Mr. Mamuwalde.

771
00:35:46.438 --> 00:35:48.340
Thank you, nice man!

772
00:35:48.373 --> 00:35:51.043
Well, let me just say I'm
having a soirée tomorrow night

773
00:35:51.077 --> 00:35:53.345
and I would be honored
if you would join me.

774
00:35:53.378 --> 00:35:55.248
I'm expensive!

775
00:35:59.652 --> 00:36:02.755
Tomorrow night is the soirée.

776
00:36:02.789 --> 00:36:03.823
Oh, oh.

777
00:36:05.457 --> 00:36:08.728
- Save them for me.
- We expect to be seeing you.

778
00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:23.676
You always do this,
Daddy.

779
00:36:23.709 --> 00:36:25.577
Why wouldn't you let
that pretty man help me?

780
00:36:25.610 --> 00:36:27.680
Dolomite was trying
to get in your panties.

781
00:36:27.713 --> 00:36:29.581
- We don't need his money.
- No.

782
00:36:29.614 --> 00:36:32.118
<i>We</i> don't need the money.
<i>I</i> need the money, Dad.

783
00:36:32.151 --> 00:36:34.787
I just want to get my education,
so I don't end up like you.

784
00:36:34.821 --> 00:36:36.022
- Like me?
- Yes, Daddy.

785
00:36:36.055 --> 00:36:37.489
Just write the book
or get a job.

786
00:36:37.522 --> 00:36:38.791
Get a job,
broke nigga!

787
00:36:38.825 --> 00:36:40.592
I got some money
on your hair, Freezee.

788
00:36:40.625 --> 00:36:42.460
I'm about to unthaw yo ass.

789
00:36:42.494 --> 00:36:44.063
- I'm leaving.
- Allie.

790
00:36:44.096 --> 00:36:45.832
And me and Freezee are gonna
live happily ever after together.

791
00:36:45.865 --> 00:36:47.465
- Allie Black.
- That is what we're doing.

792
00:36:47.499 --> 00:36:48.868
- Freezee! Let's go!
- Allie Black.

793
00:36:48.901 --> 00:36:50.368
Allie! Allie!

794
00:36:50.402 --> 00:36:51.637
I think she just called
you a dumbass.

795
00:36:51.671 --> 00:36:52.772
Stop yelling
in the neighborhood!

796
00:36:52.805 --> 00:36:54.606
- Allie.
- We're going.

797
00:36:54.640 --> 00:36:56.642
- Baby, tuck my legs in.
- I got you.

798
00:36:57.743 --> 00:36:59.511
- Baby.
- Look at that.

799
00:36:59.544 --> 00:37:01.047
Always falling like this.

800
00:37:01.080 --> 00:37:02.849
Carl!

801
00:37:02.882 --> 00:37:05.151
Why is she leaving like that, baby?
We just talked about this.

802
00:37:05.184 --> 00:37:07.119
- Baby, I...
- Well-well, the neighbor next door

803
00:37:07.153 --> 00:37:09.421
tried to give some goddamn
vampire pimp money

804
00:37:09.454 --> 00:37:11.824
to Allie for school
and goddamn hatin' ass Carl,

805
00:37:11.858 --> 00:37:14.694
he gon' take the money and throw
it back in the goddamn vampire face

806
00:37:14.727 --> 00:37:16.095
and goddamn Allie,
goddamn...

807
00:37:16.128 --> 00:37:19.464
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
calm down, little infant!

808
00:37:19.497 --> 00:37:21.533
Vampire?
Vampire pimp?

809
00:37:21.566 --> 00:37:23.803
That's what you guys are out
here talking about right now?

810
00:37:23.836 --> 00:37:26.404
- No. It ain't even like that.
- We just had this conversation.

811
00:37:26.438 --> 00:37:29.108
- Hey.
- I'm tired of all this craziness.

812
00:37:29.141 --> 00:37:31.110
Did you call the real estate
agent like I asked you to?

813
00:37:31.143 --> 00:37:34.113
Called the real estate agent.
I... I left a message for him.

814
00:37:34.146 --> 00:37:36.983
Look, Carl, I'll call him,
just like I do

815
00:37:37.016 --> 00:37:39.118
- everything else around here, okay?
- Oh-oh.

816
00:37:39.151 --> 00:37:41.854
But you know what, we need to talk
tonight when I get home from work.

817
00:37:41.888 --> 00:37:43.723
Oh-oh.

818
00:37:43.756 --> 00:37:45.725
- Babe, don't do that.
- I gotta go to work.

819
00:37:45.758 --> 00:37:47.459
- She's gonna cheat on you.
- Shut up, Cronut.

820
00:37:47.492 --> 00:37:48.593
It's me, baby.

821
00:37:48.628 --> 00:37:49.962
- Yeah.
- Babe.

822
00:37:51.163 --> 00:37:53.633
Yeah, she gonna cheat on you.

823
00:37:55.034 --> 00:37:56.669
I'm gonna cheat on you.

824
00:37:56.702 --> 00:37:58.971
Carl. Carl.

825
00:38:00.505 --> 00:38:01.741
Carl!

826
00:38:01.774 --> 00:38:03.608
- Carl!
- What?

827
00:38:03.643 --> 00:38:05.543
Gotta listen to me.
You gotta hear me out for real.

828
00:38:05.577 --> 00:38:07.545
I know you're going
through a lot.

829
00:38:07.579 --> 00:38:09.782
I know your old lady trippin',
I know your daughter trippin',

830
00:38:09.815 --> 00:38:11.083
I know you have
a writer's block,

831
00:38:11.117 --> 00:38:13.019
but please, bro,
just listen to me.

832
00:38:13.052 --> 00:38:16.088
Go home. All right?
It's over.

833
00:38:16.122 --> 00:38:17.857
I'm movin' the fuck
out of this house.

834
00:38:17.890 --> 00:38:19.926
This our house!
We can't let him move us out.

835
00:38:19.959 --> 00:38:22.094
- I don't wannna hear that shit.
- I gotta tell you this for real.

836
00:38:22.128 --> 00:38:25.031
Guess what I found while you
was talking to the pimp vampire?

837
00:38:25.064 --> 00:38:27.166
These Rico glasses, man.
They probably got him.

838
00:38:27.199 --> 00:38:29.835
They done... they done drunk all
his blood and everything, man.

839
00:38:29.869 --> 00:38:32.138
Stop! That motherfucker
just tried to play me.

840
00:38:32.171 --> 00:38:33.571
He's going to jail.

841
00:38:33.605 --> 00:38:35.808
Three hots and a cot,
he's going to jail.

842
00:38:35.841 --> 00:38:37.910
So, what you
gonna do about it?

843
00:38:37.944 --> 00:38:39.979
The little motherfucker's going to jail
for pimping and pandering around here.

844
00:38:40.012 --> 00:38:41.546
What you mean,
what I'm gonna do?

845
00:38:41.579 --> 00:38:44.549
Police ain't never arrestin'
no goddamn vampire.

846
00:38:44.582 --> 00:38:46.252
That's shit, okay?

847
00:38:46.285 --> 00:38:48.688
Did you see he floated down the stairs?

848
00:38:48.721 --> 00:38:50.156
You didn't see him float?

849
00:38:50.189 --> 00:38:51.991
<i>911,
what's your emergency?</i>

850
00:38:52.024 --> 00:38:54.093
Yes, I have
a problem here.

851
00:38:54.126 --> 00:38:56.762
Um,
I'm a new neighbor

852
00:38:56.796 --> 00:38:58.731
that just moved
in the neighborhood.

853
00:38:58.764 --> 00:39:00.666
As you can tell,
I'm Caucasian.

854
00:39:00.700 --> 00:39:03.202
And there's
a real peculiar guy.

855
00:39:03.235 --> 00:39:05.204
- <i>Is he Black? Okay.</i>
- Yes, he's Black.

856
00:39:05.237 --> 00:39:06.772
<i>We'll send over
five units right away.</i>

857
00:39:06.806 --> 00:39:08.207
Okay, you'll be here
in a second?

858
00:39:08.240 --> 00:39:10.276
- <i>Right away.</i>
- Thank you.

859
00:39:10.309 --> 00:39:13.646
That's how you do that.

860
00:39:13.679 --> 00:39:15.014
He's going to jail.

861
00:39:24.890 --> 00:39:26.759
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, fall back, fall back.

862
00:39:26.792 --> 00:39:28.761
- What's going on?
- I'm the lead cop on this.

863
00:39:28.794 --> 00:39:30.963
- Laced, you're a rookie.
- Listen, I'm just tryin' to have some fun.

864
00:39:30.997 --> 00:39:33.032
I said
fall back, man.

865
00:39:33.065 --> 00:39:34.800
Listen, I got my gun.
I'm going to this house to have some fun.

866
00:39:34.834 --> 00:39:36.068
Do my thing.

867
00:39:37.636 --> 00:39:40.106
All right. Go ahead.
Handle this.

868
00:39:40.139 --> 00:39:41.807
What kind of spooky shit
is this?

869
00:39:41.841 --> 00:39:44.643
First time bein' a cop.
This is gonna be a breeze.

870
00:39:44.677 --> 00:39:46.712
That like a old couple
relationship.

871
00:39:52.752 --> 00:39:54.120
Come on out of there

872
00:39:54.153 --> 00:39:56.055
- before I put a hot one in your ass!
- Hold on.

873
00:39:56.088 --> 00:39:57.323
There'll be no gun violence.
Put your gun down. This is my first day.

874
00:39:57.356 --> 00:39:59.058
Shut up and stop
being a little bitch.

875
00:40:03.763 --> 00:40:05.898
Two of them in up
there, weird as hell.

876
00:40:05.931 --> 00:40:07.833
Lock his ass up.

877
00:40:07.867 --> 00:40:08.968
He got Rico.

878
00:40:11.771 --> 00:40:14.974
- Police.
- Good heavens! What is all the fuss?

879
00:40:15.007 --> 00:40:18.210
Oh, a father
and son team, splendid.

880
00:40:18.244 --> 00:40:20.279
What may I do for you,
dark-skinned Hutch?

881
00:40:20.312 --> 00:40:23.049
Listen, big fella.
Dude down there saying y'all been involved

882
00:40:23.082 --> 00:40:25.217
in the kidnappin' of the
neighborhood watch captain?

883
00:40:25.251 --> 00:40:26.584
Rico.

884
00:40:26.618 --> 00:40:27.920
- So y'all kidnap him?
- Yeah.

885
00:40:27.953 --> 00:40:29.121
And I heard you got hoes
all up in through there.

886
00:40:29.155 --> 00:40:30.289
Y'all freaky-freaky, huh?

887
00:40:30.322 --> 00:40:31.924
Not at all, sir.

888
00:40:31.957 --> 00:40:34.260
This is the residence
of Dr. Mamuwalde.

889
00:40:34.293 --> 00:40:37.029
- Mama-who?
- <i>Can't a man pimp in peace?</i>

890
00:40:38.864 --> 00:40:41.300
The name is
Dr. Mamuwalde.

891
00:40:42.835 --> 00:40:44.804
- Shit.
- He trippin'-trippin'.

892
00:40:44.837 --> 00:40:46.705
I hope they get
his ass, man.

893
00:40:46.739 --> 00:40:48.374
Listen, big fella,
do you mind if I have a look inside,

894
00:40:48.407 --> 00:40:50.009
see what's going on
see what I can steal?

895
00:40:50.042 --> 00:40:51.777
I mean, just see what's
going on in the house.

896
00:40:51.811 --> 00:40:55.014
Absolutely. My house
is your house, officer.

897
00:40:55.047 --> 00:40:56.816
Feel free to look around

898
00:40:56.849 --> 00:41:00.086
- as soon as you present your warrant.
- He trippin'.

899
00:41:00.119 --> 00:41:01.887
- Warrant?
- Yes, warrant.

900
00:41:01.921 --> 00:41:04.723
What the fuck? You 'posed to
be an expert on the law now?

901
00:41:04.757 --> 00:41:07.726
I'm gonna show you what we do
with experts down here, hm?

902
00:41:07.760 --> 00:41:09.128
Hold on, what you doing?

903
00:41:09.161 --> 00:41:11.197
No! Put the taser off!
Put the taser off!

904
00:41:11.230 --> 00:41:13.899
- You trippin'-trippin'.
- Uh-huh, bust him. Bust him.

905
00:41:13.933 --> 00:41:16.135
- Put your taser off.
- Don't eyeball me, boy.

906
00:41:16.168 --> 00:41:17.837
Don't play with me.

907
00:41:17.870 --> 00:41:19.271
We just want to know if you
know about the whereabouts

908
00:41:19.305 --> 00:41:21.774
of this Rico guy.
Where is Rico?

909
00:41:21.807 --> 00:41:25.077
You're the one supposed
to be looking

910
00:41:25.111 --> 00:41:27.980
for whoever you're
looking for, sir.

911
00:41:28.013 --> 00:41:31.217
I don't know who Rico is
and you can't make me.

912
00:41:31.250 --> 00:41:32.751
He's lying, man.

913
00:41:32.785 --> 00:41:34.386
How y'all gonna believe

914
00:41:34.420 --> 00:41:37.356
somebody dressed like
Dr. Seuss is what I'm sayin'?

915
00:41:37.389 --> 00:41:39.358
What do you do, sir?
For a living?

916
00:41:39.391 --> 00:41:43.195
Well, for a living,
I take fantasy and dreams

917
00:41:43.229 --> 00:41:46.265
and I make them
into reality.

918
00:41:46.298 --> 00:41:49.768
Let me tell you something,
creepy motherfucker. You got two options.

919
00:41:49.802 --> 00:41:53.939
Option A, we look around
inside this spooky motherfucker,

920
00:41:53.973 --> 00:41:56.242
or option B, we're gonna
arrest your ass,

921
00:41:56.275 --> 00:41:58.744
take you down to the precinct,
ask you a bunch of goddamn questions.

922
00:41:58.777 --> 00:42:01.280
He's going to jail. That's
what I'm talking about.

923
00:42:01.313 --> 00:42:03.749
I'll take... I haven't even
chosen my options.

924
00:42:03.782 --> 00:42:05.384
Oh, we're gonna do it.
We're gonna take him now.

925
00:42:05.417 --> 00:42:07.987
Option A, I don't.
Option B...

926
00:42:08.020 --> 00:42:09.355
We're gonna take
you downtown, Midnite.

927
00:42:09.388 --> 00:42:11.090
Wait a minute.

928
00:42:11.123 --> 00:42:14.126
How can you call me "midnight"
as dark as you are...

929
00:42:14.160 --> 00:42:16.695
- What? What did you say?
- ...ith all due respect, officer?

930
00:42:16.729 --> 00:42:19.732
Well, if I'm Midnight,
aren't you two Nights?

931
00:42:19.765 --> 00:42:21.800
There ain't shit you're gonna do about it.
Come on with your little...

932
00:42:21.834 --> 00:42:23.335
- Stop resisting.
- They're taking him to jail.

933
00:42:23.369 --> 00:42:25.371
That's what I'm talking about.
Do your job.

934
00:42:25.404 --> 00:42:27.806
This is definitely
Black on Black crime.

935
00:42:27.840 --> 00:42:29.942
Hey, I got it.
Take his Black ass down.

936
00:42:43.122 --> 00:42:44.456
Officer!

937
00:42:44.490 --> 00:42:46.325
I believe there's been
a misunderstanding.

938
00:42:48.460 --> 00:42:50.196
Do you mean this Rico?

939
00:42:55.467 --> 00:42:57.870
Rico, what the fuck
you doing in there?

940
00:42:57.903 --> 00:43:01.073
I'm fine. I was just
in the basement...

941
00:43:01.106 --> 00:43:02.875
They didn't fondle with you
down there, did they?

942
00:43:02.908 --> 00:43:04.276
They did me fine.

943
00:43:04.310 --> 00:43:07.379
- They served me fresh bananas.
- From Honduras.

944
00:43:07.413 --> 00:43:08.847
Bananas in the basement?

945
00:43:08.881 --> 00:43:10.516
They done brainwashed
his crazy ass.

946
00:43:10.549 --> 00:43:11.917
They did more
than brainwashing.

947
00:43:11.951 --> 00:43:13.852
Somethin' ain't
right with him.

948
00:43:27.533 --> 00:43:30.402
<i>Come to me, Lorena.</i>

949
00:43:38.310 --> 00:43:40.913
<i>Come to me, Lorena.</i>

950
00:43:42.047 --> 00:43:44.383
<i>I've been searching for you.</i>

951
00:43:46.385 --> 00:43:52.024
<i>Are you feeling my breath
upon your corpuscle?</i>

952
00:44:02.368 --> 00:44:04.203
What kind
of cop shit is this?

953
00:44:04.236 --> 00:44:05.537
Y'all let him go?

954
00:44:05.571 --> 00:44:08.107
Mr. Black, you call us
down here again

955
00:44:08.140 --> 00:44:09.375
and waste our damn time,

956
00:44:09.408 --> 00:44:11.977
I'm gonna take
your ashy ass to jail.

957
00:44:12.011 --> 00:44:13.512
We cop cops.
This ain't no damn joke!

958
00:44:13.545 --> 00:44:16.015
Man, if you don't get
your retarded ass...

959
00:44:16.048 --> 00:44:19.385
You better watch your mouth, before I
stick these goddamn handcuffs up your ass.

960
00:44:19.418 --> 00:44:21.520
Don't eyeball me, boy.

961
00:44:21.553 --> 00:44:23.389
Let's go.

962
00:44:25.424 --> 00:44:28.160
Carl, why are you
here with the police?

963
00:44:28.193 --> 00:44:29.995
What did the neighbor
do to you?

964
00:44:30.029 --> 00:44:32.431
This is what happens when you
keep messing with the neighbors.

965
00:44:32.464 --> 00:44:34.033
Why are you blamin'
him for everything?

966
00:44:34.066 --> 00:44:35.968
Because clearly, I see
you out here too.

967
00:44:36.001 --> 00:44:38.170
For real, this is your plan.
Don't try to put this on me.

968
00:44:38.203 --> 00:44:40.039
- We're movin' out.
- What do you mean? Wait!

969
00:44:40.072 --> 00:44:41.874
- Without you.
- How you gonna move out without me?

970
00:44:41.907 --> 00:44:43.409
- We family.
- No. We not family.

971
00:44:43.442 --> 00:44:45.311
You're just my cousin
that fucks up everything.

972
00:44:45.344 --> 00:44:46.478
- That's family.
- You know what?

973
00:44:46.512 --> 00:44:48.847
I'm tired of you
always blamin' him.

974
00:44:48.881 --> 00:44:51.183
Look right here. This is what it's
about, me and you. You're messing up.

975
00:44:59.258 --> 00:45:01.360
- Babe. I can explain.
- You should be ashamed of yourself.

976
00:45:01.393 --> 00:45:04.897
The motherfucker was trying to
disrespect me in front of my daughter.

977
00:45:04.930 --> 00:45:07.299
I'm tired of you
embarrassing our family.

978
00:45:08.967 --> 00:45:10.903
You owe that man
an apology.

979
00:45:10.936 --> 00:45:12.438
Babe...

980
00:45:14.073 --> 00:45:16.508
I don't know
if this is it for us.

981
00:45:16.542 --> 00:45:20.346
I used to think it was the house,
the neighborhood, your book.

982
00:45:20.379 --> 00:45:23.015
But it's not.

983
00:45:23.048 --> 00:45:25.617
It's you.

984
00:45:25.652 --> 00:45:27.419
It's you and I
that don't work.

985
00:45:33.092 --> 00:45:36.562
I got to go back to work.
So you figure that out.

986
00:45:38.397 --> 00:45:41.900
I'll apologize.
I'll go apologize.

987
00:45:41.934 --> 00:45:45.337
I don't have a problem
apologizing to him.

988
00:45:45.371 --> 00:45:48.006
<i>Attack and bring me my wife.</i>

989
00:45:49.575 --> 00:45:51.610
Right this
way, Mr. Black.

990
00:45:51.644 --> 00:45:54.079
The good doctor'll be here
to deal with you shortly.

991
00:45:54.113 --> 00:45:56.148
Hey, man. Did you
just change your accent?

992
00:45:56.181 --> 00:45:59.318
Where'd he go? What the fuck
was he saying?

993
00:46:01.153 --> 00:46:03.255
Wow.

994
00:46:03.288 --> 00:46:04.490
It's nice, though.

995
00:46:07.993 --> 00:46:09.261
- Carl Black.
- Hey!

996
00:46:09.294 --> 00:46:12.131
What the fuck!
Jesus, Buddha, Allah!

997
00:46:13.666 --> 00:46:15.968
Is every place in here creepy?

998
00:46:16.001 --> 00:46:18.671
I thought I smelled
failure in here.

999
00:46:18.705 --> 00:46:23.108
And I thought I smelled Celine
Dion's wig also in here.

1000
00:46:23.142 --> 00:46:25.544
You're a funny
motherfucker, Carl.

1001
00:46:25.577 --> 00:46:29.181
And I don't just mean that
dumb expression on your face.

1002
00:46:29.214 --> 00:46:32.719
Yeah? Well, look,
let me be straight up with you, all right?

1003
00:46:32.752 --> 00:46:34.286
- Thank you.
- I don't like you.

1004
00:46:34.319 --> 00:46:35.487
First time I seen you,

1005
00:46:35.521 --> 00:46:37.724
- just didn't like you.
- Okay.

1006
00:46:37.757 --> 00:46:41.994
My wife sent me over here to apologize
to you and that's what I want to do.

1007
00:46:42.027 --> 00:46:44.496
I want to apologize,
but I just want to let you know,

1008
00:46:44.530 --> 00:46:46.999
I don't give a fuck.

1009
00:46:47.032 --> 00:46:48.367
We getting the fuck out
of this neighborhood.

1010
00:46:48.400 --> 00:46:51.003
Well, that's very
interesting, Green Lantern,

1011
00:46:51.036 --> 00:46:53.172
but you can't leave
just yet.

1012
00:46:53.205 --> 00:46:54.674
Oh, yes, I can! Shit!

1013
00:46:54.707 --> 00:46:56.175
My lease is up next month.

1014
00:46:58.377 --> 00:46:59.478
What's this?

1015
00:46:59.511 --> 00:47:01.380
There's something
I want from you

1016
00:47:01.413 --> 00:47:03.549
and you're not
leaving until I get it.

1017
00:47:03.582 --> 00:47:06.485
Man, I hope it's my nuts
for these girls.

1018
00:47:06.518 --> 00:47:08.053
No!

1019
00:47:09.722 --> 00:47:13.292
My book.
You like my book?

1020
00:47:13.325 --> 00:47:15.527
I told you I was a fan
of your book.

1021
00:47:15.561 --> 00:47:17.996
- That is crazy.
- It was magnificent.

1022
00:47:18.030 --> 00:47:19.198
You like my book.

1023
00:47:19.231 --> 00:47:21.300
I like you
and your family, Carl.

1024
00:47:21.333 --> 00:47:22.534
And not everybody
in my family

1025
00:47:22.568 --> 00:47:24.570
agreed with you moving in
next door to us.

1026
00:47:24.603 --> 00:47:26.305
Your wife.

1027
00:47:26.338 --> 00:47:28.607
My wife? Lorena?

1028
00:47:28.641 --> 00:47:30.209
Lorena.

1029
00:47:30.242 --> 00:47:33.378
Oh, no. She ain't...
she ain't into no pimping shit.

1030
00:47:33.412 --> 00:47:35.682
She ain't into no pimping shit
and I ain't either, okay?

1031
00:47:35.715 --> 00:47:37.382
Tried it, didn't like it.

1032
00:47:37.416 --> 00:47:41.520
And my daughter?
That's off limits.

1033
00:47:41.553 --> 00:47:44.289
You're too grown to be messing
with anybody's daughter.

1034
00:47:44.323 --> 00:47:46.258
Ain't no man gonna let you
mess with they daughter.

1035
00:47:46.291 --> 00:47:49.461
She's still a little girl.
She's still doing Juicy Juices.

1036
00:47:49.495 --> 00:47:52.231
She's not a grown lady.
She don't know what YAK is,

1037
00:47:52.264 --> 00:47:54.166
nor does she know
what Gray Goose is.

1038
00:47:54.199 --> 00:47:57.737
I had no idea how old she was.
She was my size.

1039
00:47:57.770 --> 00:48:00.239
Keep your little
one, two, three, four, five,

1040
00:48:00.272 --> 00:48:03.810
six, seven, eight, nine,
ten, eleven, twelve fingers

1041
00:48:03.843 --> 00:48:06.144
away from my daughter,
blah-blah.

1042
00:48:06.178 --> 00:48:07.379
Big mistake.

1043
00:48:07.412 --> 00:48:08.715
Don't fuck with my daughter.

1044
00:48:08.748 --> 00:48:11.183
And Cronut,
he's a character.

1045
00:48:11.216 --> 00:48:13.085
Oh, Cronut?
You can have him.

1046
00:48:13.118 --> 00:48:16.388
Ugh. No one wants Cronut.

1047
00:48:16.421 --> 00:48:17.724
You can fuck him
if you want.

1048
00:48:19.324 --> 00:48:21.728
He's crazy.
He's the one that think

1049
00:48:21.761 --> 00:48:25.464
Michael Jackson and Biggie
and Tupac is still living,

1050
00:48:25.497 --> 00:48:28.133
and-and thinks O.J.
didn't do it.

1051
00:48:28.166 --> 00:48:29.769
He's got a whole lot
of shit in his head.

1052
00:48:29.802 --> 00:48:32.639
And he gave me some crazy
theories about you too.

1053
00:48:32.672 --> 00:48:36.408
I'mma go ahead and sign this autograph
'fore I can get on out of here.

1054
00:48:38.477 --> 00:48:41.380
And what was his theory
about me?

1055
00:48:41.413 --> 00:48:45.217
We still don't know why you
moved in the neighborhood...

1056
00:49:02.467 --> 00:49:05.772
What the fuck!
What's wrong with you?

1057
00:49:05.805 --> 00:49:08.808
Egad, Carl Black.

1058
00:49:08.841 --> 00:49:11.476
Do I detect hostility
in your voice?

1059
00:49:11.510 --> 00:49:13.145
I thought we were cool now.

1060
00:49:13.178 --> 00:49:14.446
No, we're not cool!

1061
00:49:14.479 --> 00:49:18.350
And you do detect
hostility in my voice.

1062
00:49:18.383 --> 00:49:20.820
You got a picture of my wife
naked on your fucking wall!

1063
00:49:20.853 --> 00:49:22.789
I ain't even got
a picture of this bitch.

1064
00:49:22.822 --> 00:49:25.123
- Did you photoshop the picture?
- No.

1065
00:49:26.558 --> 00:49:27.727
No, that's her.

1066
00:49:27.760 --> 00:49:31.831
I bet I know what Cronut
thinks about me.

1067
00:49:31.864 --> 00:49:34.399
You know what?

1068
00:49:34.433 --> 00:49:37.837
<i>He was right.</i>

1069
00:50:00.827 --> 00:50:02.662
What are you doing?

1070
00:50:02.695 --> 00:50:04.429
Be quiet.
I know what I'm doing.

1071
00:50:04.463 --> 00:50:06.264
Would you...
Dad, come on.

1072
00:50:06.298 --> 00:50:08.367
Son, I got something
I need to talk to you about.

1073
00:50:08.400 --> 00:50:10.168
All right.

1074
00:50:10.202 --> 00:50:12.571
We got a vampire living next door!
I've seen him!

1075
00:50:12.604 --> 00:50:15.540
- Hey, that's cool!
- I think I've seen that dude.

1076
00:50:15.574 --> 00:50:17.309
What's so...
What the fuck is wrong...

1077
00:50:17.342 --> 00:50:18.711
What's cool about that?

1078
00:50:18.745 --> 00:50:21.480
Dad, Dad, just relax.
Just call the cops.

1079
00:50:21.513 --> 00:50:22.815
I can't call the cops.

1080
00:50:22.849 --> 00:50:24.684
Okay, everybody knows
the vampire rules.

1081
00:50:24.717 --> 00:50:26.485
Like, a vampire
cannot come in your house

1082
00:50:26.518 --> 00:50:28.921
unless you invite him in.
Did you invite him in?

1083
00:50:28.955 --> 00:50:30.723
- No. I didn't invite him in.
- All right.

1084
00:50:30.757 --> 00:50:32.290
All right, then you're good.
That's good.

1085
00:50:32.324 --> 00:50:33.660
- I'm cool. Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1086
00:50:33.693 --> 00:50:35.260
Come on now.
Everybody knows that.

1087
00:50:35.293 --> 00:50:36.796
It's in literally
every vampire comic book.

1088
00:50:36.829 --> 00:50:37.897
Every one.

1089
00:50:37.930 --> 00:50:41.533
Oh, man.
You got some weed?

1090
00:50:41.566 --> 00:50:43.402
Dad, what?
Just leave. Just leave.

1091
00:50:44.637 --> 00:50:46.338
I know who got it.

1092
00:50:46.371 --> 00:50:48.373
No, he doesn't. He's kidding.
Bro, shut up.

1093
00:50:48.407 --> 00:50:49.876
- A dime bag? Twenty?
- No, no. Leave. Leave. He's kidding.

1094
00:50:49.909 --> 00:50:52.377
He's kidding. He's kidding.
Go take a nap.

1095
00:50:52.411 --> 00:50:54.647
- But I do.
- Just be quiet. Just stop.

1096
00:51:03.890 --> 00:51:06.224
I'm gonna watch you
all night, motherfucker.

1097
00:51:37.023 --> 00:51:39.524
Don't invite him in.

1098
00:51:47.967 --> 00:51:49.869
Oh, shit.

1099
00:51:55.540 --> 00:51:56.709
Give me your money.

1100
00:51:56.743 --> 00:51:58.376
Please don't hurt me.

1101
00:51:58.410 --> 00:51:59.746
Please don't hurt...

1102
00:52:24.402 --> 00:52:26.438
Hi, Carl.

1103
00:52:32.577 --> 00:52:34.781
<i>No.</i>

1104
00:52:36.048 --> 00:52:37.884
<i>No.
I'm being serious.</i>

1105
00:52:37.917 --> 00:52:41.788
I'm telling you, it's been an
interesting week and I apologize.

1106
00:52:41.821 --> 00:52:44.857
I feel the timing of it all
is pretty, um, special,

1107
00:52:44.891 --> 00:52:48.560
that you would... I don't know where
you came from, but I appreciate it.

1108
00:52:48.593 --> 00:52:51.831
And I think it's important
that we met tonight

1109
00:52:51.864 --> 00:52:54.000
because I wanted to really
apologize for the other night.

1110
00:52:54.033 --> 00:52:56.669
I know my husband
was in there tonight.

1111
00:52:56.702 --> 00:52:59.337
Is everything okay?
Mamuwalde, right?

1112
00:52:59.371 --> 00:53:02.340
I have to, um, really
get this out,

1113
00:53:02.374 --> 00:53:05.778
because I feel like I'm having a little
bit of an out-of-body experience,

1114
00:53:05.812 --> 00:53:09.749
because I typically don't invite
complete strangers into my house

1115
00:53:09.782 --> 00:53:13.019
to have a glass of wine.
In this case...

1116
00:53:13.052 --> 00:53:14.954
<i>Don't invite him in.</i>

1117
00:53:19.091 --> 00:53:21.560
- Hey.
- Thank you. I appreciate that.

1118
00:53:23.595 --> 00:53:24.964
What you doing?

1119
00:53:24.997 --> 00:53:26.732
Baby, hi.
Hi. Were you sleeping?

1120
00:53:26.766 --> 00:53:29.869
What is he doing here?
He's not supposed to be here.

1121
00:53:29.902 --> 00:53:32.772
Where are your manners, baby?
This is Dr. Mamuwalde.

1122
00:53:32.805 --> 00:53:34.907
- Our neighbor from earlier...
- I know what you doing!

1123
00:53:34.941 --> 00:53:36.776
Yes, where are
your manners, baby?

1124
00:53:36.809 --> 00:53:38.744
He's not supposed
to be in this house.

1125
00:53:38.778 --> 00:53:40.612
I invited him to have
a glass of wine with me

1126
00:53:40.646 --> 00:53:42.380
because if anything,
we owe him a thank you.

1127
00:53:42.414 --> 00:53:44.050
- I don't wanna hear all that.
- If it wasn't for our neighbor,

1128
00:53:44.083 --> 00:53:45.651
I would have gotten
mugged tonight.

1129
00:53:45.685 --> 00:53:47.787
You got mugged?

1130
00:53:47.820 --> 00:53:49.454
He swooped... Where did you come from?
Where? How did you get there?

1131
00:53:49.487 --> 00:53:51.757
- Swooped.
- What happened?

1132
00:53:51.791 --> 00:53:55.695
Fortunately for you, I happened to be in
the area looking for a late-night snack

1133
00:53:55.728 --> 00:53:59.632
and happened to stumble
upon your tastiness.

1134
00:53:59.665 --> 00:54:01.100
He's not supposed
to be in our home.

1135
00:54:01.133 --> 00:54:03.435
He was not invited by no one.

1136
00:54:03.468 --> 00:54:05.503
Under ordinary circumstances,

1137
00:54:05.537 --> 00:54:07.707
Carl Black here
would be right,

1138
00:54:07.740 --> 00:54:10.575
- but I <i>was</i> invited, Carl.
- You know the rules.

1139
00:54:10.609 --> 00:54:13.112
- His kind is not invited in our house.
- Listen...

1140
00:54:13.145 --> 00:54:15.480
- My kind?
- Yeah.

1141
00:54:15.513 --> 00:54:19.051
That is a racist
statement, Negro.

1142
00:54:19.085 --> 00:54:21.153
I'll have you know,

1143
00:54:21.187 --> 00:54:25.124
in this age of divisiveness
and bigotry,

1144
00:54:25.157 --> 00:54:27.626
we can't do this
to each other.

1145
00:54:28.794 --> 00:54:29.962
Sheesh!

1146
00:54:29.996 --> 00:54:32.131
Yes. Baby, listen,
please just calm down.

1147
00:54:32.164 --> 00:54:34.166
We got a real live
vampire in my house

1148
00:54:34.200 --> 00:54:35.701
and you're telling me
to calm down?

1149
00:54:35.735 --> 00:54:38.004
If I had a wife as fine
as yours,

1150
00:54:38.037 --> 00:54:40.740
I'd never let her out
of my sight.

1151
00:54:40.773 --> 00:54:43.175
Hey, man! What-what-what
you doing? You can't do that, man.

1152
00:54:43.209 --> 00:54:44.911
What the fuck!
What if I grab your hair, man?

1153
00:54:44.944 --> 00:54:48.613
<i>Do not...</i>

1154
00:54:48.648 --> 00:54:51.483
touch my hair,
Carl Black.

1155
00:54:51.516 --> 00:54:52.885
You got two Bo Derek braids

1156
00:54:52.919 --> 00:54:54.452
hanging on both
sides of your face

1157
00:54:54.486 --> 00:54:56.689
and you gon' touch
on my girl's shit.

1158
00:54:56.722 --> 00:54:58.958
Baby, just calm down, okay?

1159
00:54:58.991 --> 00:55:01.060
Okay, that's enough. That's enough.

1160
00:55:01.093 --> 00:55:03.162
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- What are you doing, Carl?

1161
00:55:03.195 --> 00:55:04.931
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.

1162
00:55:04.964 --> 00:55:07.033
- Ouch!
- You know I'm clumsy a little bit.

1163
00:55:28.586 --> 00:55:31.757
That looks
exquisitely painful.

1164
00:55:31.791 --> 00:55:33.960
Ah-ah-ah. Go in there
and rinse your arm off.

1165
00:55:33.993 --> 00:55:35.728
- I got it, Carl. I got it.
- Yeah, you cut your hand

1166
00:55:35.761 --> 00:55:38.130
'cause you're standing up there
reckless eyeballing.

1167
00:55:38.164 --> 00:55:39.699
I got it.
Dr. Mamuwalde,

1168
00:55:39.732 --> 00:55:42.101
it was really,
really nice to meet you.

1169
00:55:42.134 --> 00:55:44.569
- Well, go wash your hand, baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Yeah, I'm...

1170
00:55:44.602 --> 00:55:45.738
Put a band-aid on it.

1171
00:55:45.771 --> 00:55:48.040
O-positive we'll see
each other again.

1172
00:55:48.074 --> 00:55:51.010
Listen, you little neglected
<i>Harry Potter</i> cast member,

1173
00:55:51.043 --> 00:55:52.945
let me tell you something.

1174
00:55:52.979 --> 00:55:56.182
That's my princess,
and that's my wife, and I love her.

1175
00:55:56.215 --> 00:55:58.250
You're not going
to destroy my family!

1176
00:55:58.284 --> 00:56:01.586
What do you intend
to do about it, Carl Black?

1177
00:56:01.619 --> 00:56:03.923
Install my cable,
motherfucker?

1178
00:56:03.956 --> 00:56:05.791
Nah.

1179
00:56:05.825 --> 00:56:10.595
I'm gonna pimp-slap the shit
out of your ass, motherfucker!

1180
00:56:13.699 --> 00:56:15.001
Damn, you're strong!

1181
00:56:15.034 --> 00:56:18.804
Let me tell you
a little story.

1182
00:56:20.840 --> 00:56:24.777
<i>I've been looking
for Lorena for centuries.</i>

1183
00:56:24.810 --> 00:56:29.614
<i>I first laid eyes on that fine
young thing in the Caribbean.</i>

1184
00:56:29.648 --> 00:56:33.085
<i>Lost her, found her again.</i>

1185
00:56:33.119 --> 00:56:37.790
<i>I've seen all types of women
in all shapes and sizes,</i>

1186
00:56:37.823 --> 00:56:41.961
<i>but none compare
to the governor's daughter.</i>

1187
00:56:41.994 --> 00:56:43.696
<i>We were in love</i>

1188
00:56:43.729 --> 00:56:46.899
<i>and I was finally
going to make her mine.</i>

1189
00:57:00.212 --> 00:57:03.115
You were warned, vampire.

1190
00:57:03.983 --> 00:57:08.988
Tonight's the night
that I send your soul to hell!

1191
00:57:09.021 --> 00:57:10.990
Demon!

1192
00:57:11.023 --> 00:57:13.726
Come, woman.

1193
00:57:13.759 --> 00:57:15.995
No. No. No!

1194
00:57:16.028 --> 00:57:18.998
<i>They took the love
of my life from me</i>

1195
00:57:19.031 --> 00:57:23.202
<i>and I have been looking for my
Puerto Rican princess ever since.</i>

1196
00:57:27.239 --> 00:57:30.709
Go to hell, vampire.

1197
00:57:34.246 --> 00:57:37.216
<i>They took my life.</i>

1198
00:57:39.952 --> 00:57:41.887
Man, that was a cool story!

1199
00:57:41.921 --> 00:57:46.659
But the real fact is,
is that's my wife, and I love her.

1200
00:57:46.692 --> 00:57:48.260
And you're not gonna
destroy my family.

1201
00:57:48.294 --> 00:57:51.864
You're doing a pretty
good job of that yourself.

1202
00:57:51.897 --> 00:57:53.299
What the fuck?

1203
00:57:53.332 --> 00:57:55.234
She will be mine.

1204
00:57:58.671 --> 00:58:01.006
No, no!

1205
00:58:02.308 --> 00:58:03.876
<i>Mine...</i>

1206
00:58:03.909 --> 00:58:05.377
Carl Black!

1207
00:58:14.386 --> 00:58:17.323
<i>The authorities
are still in shambles</i>

1208
00:58:17.356 --> 00:58:19.658
<i>as they scurry about for clues</i>

1209
00:58:19.692 --> 00:58:22.728
- <i>in the murders of these prostitutes.</i>
- Wow.

1210
00:58:22.761 --> 00:58:26.098
<i>If anyone out there has any
information or any leads...</i>

1211
00:58:26.132 --> 00:58:28.100
- Damn.
- <i>...feel free</i>

1212
00:58:28.134 --> 00:58:31.137
<i>to DM me personally at jack...</i>

1213
00:58:31.170 --> 00:58:33.706
Hey, babe. Hey, hey.

1214
00:58:33.739 --> 00:58:36.075
- How's your arm?
- It's better. It's feeling good.

1215
00:58:36.108 --> 00:58:38.210
- I gotta go to work. What?
- No!

1216
00:58:38.244 --> 00:58:39.712
- Why you gotta go to work?
- Because you put me in this situation.

1217
00:58:39.745 --> 00:58:40.946
I got to go to work
to pay the bills.

1218
00:58:40.980 --> 00:58:43.349
Let me pay you
for the night.

1219
00:58:43.382 --> 00:58:45.751
You can't afford me
for the night.

1220
00:58:47.019 --> 00:58:49.188
- Listen, I love you.
- I know.

1221
00:58:49.221 --> 00:58:51.290
I-I just want to get you guys
out of this neighborhood.

1222
00:58:51.323 --> 00:58:53.726
Okay. Wait, wait,
call me crazy.

1223
00:58:53.759 --> 00:58:55.961
I-I'm just throwing
this out there.

1224
00:58:55.995 --> 00:58:58.430
I'm having second thoughts
about selling the house.

1225
00:58:58.464 --> 00:59:00.132
- What?
- I don't know,

1226
00:59:00.166 --> 00:59:02.168
ever since I met
the neighbor last night,

1227
00:59:02.201 --> 00:59:05.471
- the way that he was helping me or the way that he...
- Hey, hey.

1228
00:59:05.504 --> 00:59:08.941
- No, but maybe it's not such a bad neighborhood, babe.
- No, no, no, no, no. No!

1229
00:59:08.974 --> 00:59:10.910
- Wait, wait. He's a nice guy.
- Baby, listen. No! That... no.

1230
00:59:10.943 --> 00:59:13.279
He's not no fucking nice...
what did I tell you about liking people?

1231
00:59:13.312 --> 00:59:15.381
- Liking?
- You always liking somebody.

1232
00:59:15.414 --> 00:59:17.716
- No! Hey!
- He saved me.

1233
00:59:17.750 --> 00:59:19.251
Relax. Let's put
this to rest

1234
00:59:19.285 --> 00:59:20.953
until I come home
from work tonight, okay?

1235
00:59:20.986 --> 00:59:22.755
And we can talk
about it then.

1236
00:59:22.788 --> 00:59:25.224
- I got something I want to tell you.
- What?

1237
00:59:25.257 --> 00:59:26.859
The next-door neighbor...

1238
00:59:26.892 --> 00:59:28.427
- Yeah?
- He's a vampire.

1239
00:59:28.460 --> 00:59:29.962
A vampire.

1240
00:59:29.995 --> 00:59:31.463
- He's a fucking vampire.
- Okay.

1241
00:59:31.497 --> 00:59:33.465
A vampire.
You're crazy.

1242
00:59:33.499 --> 00:59:34.733
You're just jealous.

1243
00:59:38.137 --> 00:59:41.240
Cronut, let me in.
There's a vampire living next door.

1244
00:59:56.355 --> 00:59:57.790
Cronut?

1245
01:00:02.328 --> 01:00:03.295
Eww.

1246
01:00:09.501 --> 01:00:12.004
What's wrong with you?
Die, vampire!

1247
01:00:12.037 --> 01:00:14.907
- Die, vampire! Die!
- Let me go. Let me go. Let me go!

1248
01:00:14.940 --> 01:00:17.042
Get up off of me, man.

1249
01:00:17.076 --> 01:00:18.944
Fuck you doing in my house all uninvited?
I didn't invite you in here.

1250
01:00:18.978 --> 01:00:20.446
Why you sneaking up
on me like that?

1251
01:00:20.479 --> 01:00:22.915
Why am I sneaking up on you?
This is my house!

1252
01:00:22.948 --> 01:00:24.149
Fuck you doing
up in my house?

1253
01:00:24.183 --> 01:00:25.451
I thought you won't fuck
with me no more.

1254
01:00:25.484 --> 01:00:26.885
Whoa.

1255
01:00:26.919 --> 01:00:28.220
Why you got
them damn glasses on?

1256
01:00:28.254 --> 01:00:29.788
Why you care?
You don't like 'em?

1257
01:00:29.822 --> 01:00:31.056
They don't go
with my 'fit?

1258
01:00:31.090 --> 01:00:32.825
- No.
- What... what you want?

1259
01:00:32.858 --> 01:00:35.294
Shit. I, well, I just...

1260
01:00:35.327 --> 01:00:37.096
Hey, man, look.

1261
01:00:37.129 --> 01:00:38.831
All right.
You was right.

1262
01:00:38.864 --> 01:00:41.300
We do have a creature
living next door to us.

1263
01:00:41.333 --> 01:00:43.068
It's a real vampire, man.

1264
01:00:43.102 --> 01:00:44.403
I seen his teeth!

1265
01:00:44.436 --> 01:00:47.473
I thought you was lying
at first, but he's real.

1266
01:00:47.506 --> 01:00:50.309
And he already got Allie,
and I don't want him to get my wife!

1267
01:00:50.342 --> 01:00:52.111
And?

1268
01:00:52.144 --> 01:00:54.880
And that's about the closest
to an apology you gon' get.

1269
01:00:54.913 --> 01:00:56.849
I've been
doing my research

1270
01:00:56.882 --> 01:00:58.484
and what I came up with?

1271
01:00:58.517 --> 01:01:00.252
That house right over there?

1272
01:01:00.286 --> 01:01:02.554
It's a master vampire over
there, and that's the nest.

1273
01:01:02.588 --> 01:01:04.056
And we should kill him.

1274
01:01:04.089 --> 01:01:06.292
- What?
- We should kill him.

1275
01:01:06.325 --> 01:01:08.494
We, we.
That's French. We?

1276
01:01:08.527 --> 01:01:11.397
Yes, it is we.
Ain't no I in us.

1277
01:01:11.430 --> 01:01:14.967
It's we. Me and you.
We family.

1278
01:01:15.000 --> 01:01:17.202
Yeah.
Whatever.

1279
01:01:17.236 --> 01:01:19.071
We should kill
that motherfucker.

1280
01:01:19.104 --> 01:01:20.939
Let's bury him
in the ground, man.

1281
01:01:20.973 --> 01:01:22.241
Just leave his head out

1282
01:01:22.274 --> 01:01:24.243
and just kick him
in the head all day.

1283
01:01:24.276 --> 01:01:26.278
Check this out.
What's my name?

1284
01:01:26.312 --> 01:01:28.347
- Cronut.
- No, what's my real name?

1285
01:01:28.380 --> 01:01:30.249
- Man, look, man. Stop playing.
- Mr. what?

1286
01:01:30.282 --> 01:01:32.051
- Mister?
- Mr. Right.

1287
01:01:32.084 --> 01:01:34.953
Mr. Right.
You want to get rid of the vampire?

1288
01:01:34.987 --> 01:01:37.890
- Yeah.
- Trust me. I made a call.

1289
01:01:41.093 --> 01:01:43.062
- Who is that? Is that Barack Obama?
- Trust me.

1290
01:01:43.095 --> 01:01:45.331
Not quite,
but close.

1291
01:01:50.169 --> 01:01:51.070
Oooh.

1292
01:01:53.906 --> 01:01:58.243
Oh. Did you see that African
booty scratcher come out of there?

1293
01:01:58.277 --> 01:01:59.578
- Yes.
- No!

1294
01:01:59.611 --> 01:02:01.914
- Yes.
- Why'd you call him?

1295
01:02:01.947 --> 01:02:03.449
- Just trust me.
- Oh, man.

1296
01:02:03.482 --> 01:02:05.417
- Have I ever let you down?
- Yeah, a million times.

1297
01:02:05.451 --> 01:02:07.386
Don't worry about that.
That don't count.

1298
01:02:07.419 --> 01:02:09.555
- Oh, man. Look how he dressed.
- It looks crazy.

1299
01:02:09.588 --> 01:02:11.190
- Don't worry about it.
- Whoopi Goldberg.

1300
01:02:11.223 --> 01:02:13.525
- You smell a vampire?
- Not yet, wait.

1301
01:02:13.559 --> 01:02:16.395
Right now,
I smell fear.

1302
01:02:16.428 --> 01:02:19.498
- Fear?
- And I smell broke-ass-ness

1303
01:02:19.531 --> 01:02:21.367
coming from this direction.

1304
01:02:21.400 --> 01:02:24.136
- Broke-ass-ness?
- No, you smell your bottom lip.

1305
01:02:24.169 --> 01:02:25.604
Last but not least,
I smell...

1306
01:02:28.407 --> 01:02:30.509
two bitch-ass niggas.

1307
01:02:30.542 --> 01:02:33.212
That's why you called me to
save you like I did the Purge.

1308
01:02:33.245 --> 01:02:34.947
Saved me? You ain't
saved me from nothin'!

1309
01:02:34.980 --> 01:02:37.049
You better take
your Black ass off.

1310
01:02:37.082 --> 01:02:39.151
- Punk bitch nigga, you owe me money!
- I don't owe you nothin'.

1311
01:02:39.184 --> 01:02:41.387
You little dick bitch.
You pee on your boss.

1312
01:02:41.420 --> 01:02:44.022
- Fuck you too.
- I hope your wife get pregnant again

1313
01:02:44.056 --> 01:02:45.958
and I hope the baby
is not yours.

1314
01:02:45.991 --> 01:02:46.992
You kiss my ass!

1315
01:02:47.025 --> 01:02:48.327
Your mother,
your grandfather,

1316
01:02:48.360 --> 01:02:50.229
your uncles are all
the same nigga.

1317
01:02:50.262 --> 01:02:51.997
I know you work
for that cab company.

1318
01:02:52.030 --> 01:02:53.700
You need to get back in there
and drive that cab, so...

1319
01:02:53.733 --> 01:02:55.367
- Carl Black, you owe me money!
- Hey, hey, hey.

1320
01:02:55.401 --> 01:02:57.369
Calm down, calm down. I got it.
I got it, calm down.

1321
01:02:57.403 --> 01:02:59.271
- This nigga is pissing me off.
- If you calm down a little

1322
01:02:59.304 --> 01:03:01.373
- for a second. Look...
- Don't you hit my head.

1323
01:03:01.407 --> 01:03:03.542
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey.

1324
01:03:03.575 --> 01:03:06.178
Look, I promised him I'd show
him some crazy spooky shit

1325
01:03:06.211 --> 01:03:08.648
if I recorded it and put it
on his live TV show.

1326
01:03:08.681 --> 01:03:10.282
- On YouTube?
- Yeah.

1327
01:03:10.315 --> 01:03:11.517
- You ain't got no followers.
- He's popular.

1328
01:03:11.550 --> 01:03:13.653
Five hundred thousand
subscribers.

1329
01:03:13.686 --> 01:03:16.054
I got a live vampire
livin' next door to me.

1330
01:03:16.088 --> 01:03:17.022
That's what I got.

1331
01:03:17.055 --> 01:03:18.524
Nigga,
that's why I'm here.

1332
01:03:18.557 --> 01:03:19.992
- That's why I brought these!
- Hey, hey!

1333
01:03:20.025 --> 01:03:21.661
Put your leftovers down, man.

1334
01:03:21.694 --> 01:03:25.330
You must listen to me because
I am a vampire slayer.

1335
01:03:25.364 --> 01:03:27.366
The vampires
are very dangerous.

1336
01:03:27.399 --> 01:03:29.401
They will kill you.

1337
01:03:29.435 --> 01:03:32.639
He will suck your blood.
He could be after your wife.

1338
01:03:32.672 --> 01:03:35.007
You have a wife. I know that.
I've seen her.

1339
01:03:35.040 --> 01:03:36.643
She have a nice ass.
No disrespect.

1340
01:03:36.676 --> 01:03:38.610
Tell me about these niggas,
please. What did he look like?

1341
01:03:38.645 --> 01:03:40.612
He's bite-size,
he's real short.

1342
01:03:40.647 --> 01:03:42.147
How short is he?

1343
01:03:42.181 --> 01:03:44.116
He's short. He's... he's,
you know, he's...

1344
01:03:44.149 --> 01:03:45.617
Between you and this nigga,
where is he?

1345
01:03:45.652 --> 01:03:47.219
Like this way? This way?
That way? Under the table?

1346
01:03:47.252 --> 01:03:48.987
- Pocket size.
- Pocket size nigga?

1347
01:03:49.021 --> 01:03:50.556
He got like a little perm.

1348
01:03:50.589 --> 01:03:52.759
He looked like that
little man on the dime.

1349
01:03:52.792 --> 01:03:54.493
- What dime?
- The dime.

1350
01:03:54.526 --> 01:03:56.562
- The dime, motherfucker. The dime.
- Dime. Ten cents.

1351
01:03:56.595 --> 01:03:58.363
Ten cents a day,
like what you eat.

1352
01:03:58.397 --> 01:04:00.365
Shut the fuck up, little bitch nigga.
Fuck you.

1353
01:04:00.399 --> 01:04:03.035
If I had a choice
between the vampires,

1354
01:04:03.068 --> 01:04:05.504
the devil and Donald Trump,

1355
01:04:05.537 --> 01:04:07.573
I would take Donald Trump.

1356
01:04:07.606 --> 01:04:11.410
The question is now he's trying
to take your family away,

1357
01:04:11.443 --> 01:04:13.512
- what are you are gonna do?
- Hey, hey, hey!

1358
01:04:13.545 --> 01:04:15.682
We're not the vampire.
You don't have to keep putting that on us.

1359
01:04:15.715 --> 01:04:18.617
Don't be a bitch!
If I want to talk to a little nigga,

1360
01:04:18.651 --> 01:04:20.252
I go to Chuck E. Cheese.

1361
01:04:22.087 --> 01:04:24.056
Either you gon' help me,
or you gon' help me,

1362
01:04:24.089 --> 01:04:25.324
somebody's gonna help me

1363
01:04:25.357 --> 01:04:26.659
or I'm going up in there
with a wooden thing

1364
01:04:26.693 --> 01:04:28.627
- and I'm gonna stab him in the...
- Mm.

1365
01:04:28.661 --> 01:04:31.731
I'm telling you! You know how...
I'm going up in there and...

1366
01:04:31.764 --> 01:04:33.499
Hey!

1367
01:04:33.532 --> 01:04:35.567
- You guys are crazier'n shit!
- Who the fuck is that?

1368
01:04:37.603 --> 01:04:40.105
Carl Black,
I'm all you have.

1369
01:04:40.138 --> 01:04:42.274
You must save your wife

1370
01:04:42.307 --> 01:04:44.109
<i>before it's too late.</i>

1371
01:05:06.164 --> 01:05:07.432
<i>Fellas, listen to me.</i>

1372
01:05:07.466 --> 01:05:10.335
The vampire is
very tricky and old.

1373
01:05:10.369 --> 01:05:14.339
It has survived many
centuries because he's smart.

1374
01:05:14.373 --> 01:05:17.777
Much smarter than your stupid
ignorant ass, Carl Black.

1375
01:05:17.810 --> 01:05:21.480
That insidious bastard
is a master vampire.

1376
01:05:21.513 --> 01:05:23.382
A master vampire?

1377
01:05:23.415 --> 01:05:27.519
He's not to be played with.
That means he has companions.

1378
01:05:27.553 --> 01:05:30.222
- Companions?
- We have a lot more to deal with.

1379
01:05:30.255 --> 01:05:31.691
You have to get
to know your enemy.

1380
01:05:31.724 --> 01:05:33.258
I thought I knew him.

1381
01:05:33.292 --> 01:05:34.861
And how about his crew?
Do you know them?

1382
01:05:34.894 --> 01:05:37.630
His crew? What?
The butler?

1383
01:05:37.664 --> 01:05:41.266
Butler?! That's not a butler!
That's his ghoul!

1384
01:05:41.300 --> 01:05:42.702
What is a ghoul?

1385
01:05:42.735 --> 01:05:45.672
This is not the time
to be a bitch, Carl Black.

1386
01:05:45.705 --> 01:05:48.307
A ghoul is very dangerous.

1387
01:05:48.340 --> 01:05:50.542
- What about those fine-ass girls he had in there?
- Yeah. They was fine.

1388
01:05:50.576 --> 01:05:52.679
- Cronut!
- I liked them.

1389
01:05:52.712 --> 01:05:56.148
Those are not
average fine-ass girls.

1390
01:05:56.181 --> 01:05:59.251
Those are his bodyguards.
They are murderous.

1391
01:05:59.284 --> 01:06:00.720
What?

1392
01:06:00.753 --> 01:06:03.255
The more beautiful they are,
the more dangerous.

1393
01:06:03.288 --> 01:06:05.725
This is getting more serious
than I imagined.

1394
01:06:05.758 --> 01:06:08.393
What's this shit?
It was addressed to him.

1395
01:06:08.427 --> 01:06:10.362
He got a little chain on.
He got your same facial structure...

1396
01:06:10.395 --> 01:06:12.732
Don't be a dick face.
Give me that.

1397
01:06:22.307 --> 01:06:24.744
It is nothing.
Just some stupid fucking doll.

1398
01:06:24.777 --> 01:06:26.578
- Put it away.
- Are you sure?

1399
01:06:26.612 --> 01:06:28.146
How we going to kill
this motherfucker?

1400
01:06:28.180 --> 01:06:29.816
- Dad. Dad. I got an idea.
- What?

1401
01:06:29.849 --> 01:06:32.250
I turned the Purge bats
into stakes.

1402
01:06:32.284 --> 01:06:34.353
If you stab a vampire
with it, it'll die.

1403
01:06:34.386 --> 01:06:37.690
Shut up!
This is why I'm here.

1404
01:06:37.724 --> 01:06:40.760
We have to kill the vampire!

1405
01:06:57.476 --> 01:07:00.312
Why you wipe my
kisses off like that?

1406
01:07:00.345 --> 01:07:02.247
Baby, because you
put too much lip gloss on.

1407
01:07:02.280 --> 01:07:04.416
- No, I don't.
- Yeah, you do, and then my shit

1408
01:07:04.449 --> 01:07:06.284
- be all glittery for the rest of the day.
- Shut up. I do it for you

1409
01:07:06.318 --> 01:07:08.220
- when I'm around you. Whatever.
- Use Chapstick.

1410
01:07:08.253 --> 01:07:09.822
- You cute. You fine and all, baby.
- Whatever.

1411
01:07:09.856 --> 01:07:11.423
Give me a little bit
of head now.

1412
01:07:11.456 --> 01:07:12.624
- What?
- I'm just saying,

1413
01:07:12.659 --> 01:07:14.493
like, I wanna get
a little bit of head...

1414
01:07:14.526 --> 01:07:15.828
We're in front of my parents' house.
Are you serious?

1415
01:07:15.862 --> 01:07:17.529
Baby, they're sleeping
a little bit.

1416
01:07:17.562 --> 01:07:19.331
- Babe.
- Come on, baby.

1417
01:07:19.364 --> 01:07:20.933
- Just a little bit of head.
- Stop playing all the time.

1418
01:07:20.967 --> 01:07:23.201
- Baby, my-my legs. I'm-I'm paralyzed.
- Stop.

1419
01:07:23.235 --> 01:07:25.604
That's the least you could
do, community service.

1420
01:07:25.638 --> 01:07:27.272
Let me get a little bit
of community head.

1421
01:07:27.305 --> 01:07:28.607
Shut up. We need to talk.

1422
01:07:28.641 --> 01:07:29.976
Talk about what?
Baby, look,

1423
01:07:30.009 --> 01:07:31.911
talk with my dick in
your mouth a little bit.

1424
01:07:31.944 --> 01:07:33.612
- I don't mean to be disrespectful.
- Wait, wait. Listen.

1425
01:07:33.646 --> 01:07:35.580
Listen to what?

1426
01:07:35.614 --> 01:07:37.449
- Baby.
- Did you hear that?

1427
01:07:37.482 --> 01:07:38.718
The only thing you
need to listen to is...

1428
01:07:38.751 --> 01:07:41.754
Listen!

1429
01:07:42.822 --> 01:07:43.956
The fuck was that?

1430
01:07:46.693 --> 01:07:49.327
Shit! Oh, shit!

1431
01:07:49.361 --> 01:07:50.797
- What is that?
- Ooh.

1432
01:07:50.830 --> 01:07:51.731
Oh, my God.

1433
01:07:54.332 --> 01:07:56.636
Freezee!
Freezee!

1434
01:07:56.669 --> 01:07:58.738
That was Allie.

1435
01:07:58.771 --> 01:08:00.338
Time to get the fuck out.

1436
01:08:02.574 --> 01:08:03.743
What just happened?

1437
01:08:03.776 --> 01:08:05.544
I don't know. I just
heard screams, man.

1438
01:08:05.577 --> 01:08:08.313
He made the first move.
He has taken your daughter.

1439
01:08:08.346 --> 01:08:10.016
It's all fucked up, man.

1440
01:08:10.049 --> 01:08:12.551
I didn't know they had Allie, too.
I like Allie! But there's more.

1441
01:08:12.584 --> 01:08:14.486
- Well, tell us more.
- Yeah, you better say something

1442
01:08:14.519 --> 01:08:16.656
- before we take your banana bike, nigga.
- Come on now.

1443
01:08:16.689 --> 01:08:18.590
The vampires, man,
they got me.

1444
01:08:18.623 --> 01:08:20.392
See that house next door?

1445
01:08:20.425 --> 01:08:23.663
They havin' a big-ass
vampire party up there, man.

1446
01:08:23.696 --> 01:08:25.497
Dracula kind of blushin'.

1447
01:08:25.530 --> 01:08:28.835
They said when it's over,
they gonna kill everybody.

1448
01:08:28.868 --> 01:08:30.502
- Oh, God.
- Shit.

1449
01:08:30.535 --> 01:08:32.337
Things all fucked up
around here, man.

1450
01:08:32.370 --> 01:08:34.841
Not me. They ain't
gonna get me.

1451
01:08:34.874 --> 01:08:36.743
They ain't gonna get me!

1452
01:08:37.877 --> 01:08:39.344
Come back here!

1453
01:08:39.377 --> 01:08:42.982
Fuck that!
I'm a real snitch!

1454
01:08:43.015 --> 01:08:45.785
Those vampires
done bit me.

1455
01:08:47.019 --> 01:08:48.054
Did you hear that?

1456
01:08:48.087 --> 01:08:49.756
Yeah, you saw
how he took off?

1457
01:08:49.789 --> 01:08:52.357
This is exactly what
the monster wants.

1458
01:08:52.390 --> 01:08:53.726
He wants you
to attack him at night,

1459
01:08:53.760 --> 01:08:56.763
when he's strongest.
Don't fall for it.

1460
01:08:56.796 --> 01:08:59.031
What am I supposed to do?
I got a wife and a daughter over there.

1461
01:08:59.065 --> 01:09:01.366
Just wait till the daytime,
when he's weak.

1462
01:09:01.399 --> 01:09:02.869
- And then we kill him.
- No, no, no, no.

1463
01:09:02.902 --> 01:09:04.302
If you wait
till the morning,

1464
01:09:04.336 --> 01:09:06.371
Lorena and Allie
will be vampires.

1465
01:09:06.404 --> 01:09:08.841
- Oh.
- Junior, I love you to death.

1466
01:09:08.875 --> 01:09:10.843
They already got
your sister in there.

1467
01:09:10.877 --> 01:09:13.679
They're trying to get your mama.
This is a good neighborhood

1468
01:09:13.713 --> 01:09:15.982
and I'm here to protect it,
because I'm Carl Black.

1469
01:09:16.015 --> 01:09:18.885
And I'm Cronut.
We ride together, we die together!

1470
01:09:18.918 --> 01:09:20.720
Go lock up the house.

1471
01:09:20.753 --> 01:09:24.023
We need the right weapons
to kill this vampire.

1472
01:09:24.056 --> 01:09:25.992
- I made a phone call.
- Who you call?

1473
01:09:26.025 --> 01:09:28.027
- Mr. Saturday Night.
- What?

1474
01:09:28.060 --> 01:09:30.062
He knows everything
about killing vampires.

1475
01:09:30.096 --> 01:09:31.596
Saturday Night?

1476
01:09:31.631 --> 01:09:34.466
I met him last Friday
at Fat Tuesday's.

1477
01:09:34.499 --> 01:09:36.468
Let's go. It's war.

1478
01:09:44.543 --> 01:09:46.646
Friends, let me do
all the talking.

1479
01:09:48.446 --> 01:09:50.883
I've seen this guy
kill lots of people.

1480
01:09:50.917 --> 01:09:52.819
Don't do
no bitch shit now.

1481
01:10:01.093 --> 01:10:02.028
Let's go.

1482
01:10:07.099 --> 01:10:09.836
He's the only one
to kill vampires.

1483
01:10:09.869 --> 01:10:11.904
He'll give us
all the weapons.

1484
01:10:13.471 --> 01:10:14.707
Just stay calm.

1485
01:10:16.541 --> 01:10:18.443
I believe in God,
first and foremost.

1486
01:10:18.476 --> 01:10:19.879
So we huntin' vampires.

1487
01:10:19.912 --> 01:10:22.081
- I'm scared.
- What you scared of?

1488
01:10:22.114 --> 01:10:23.448
He looks like
The Undertaker.

1489
01:10:23.481 --> 01:10:25.450
I may not have what you want,

1490
01:10:25.483 --> 01:10:26.886
but I got just what you need.

1491
01:10:26.919 --> 01:10:28.087
Holy shit.

1492
01:10:29.621 --> 01:10:31.724
- You ain't playin'.
- No, he's not.

1493
01:10:31.757 --> 01:10:33.860
- Damn!
- You're gonna like this.

1494
01:10:35.427 --> 01:10:36.929
Whoa.

1495
01:10:36.963 --> 01:10:38.831
- Oh, that's cool. I like that.
- That's alkaline water.

1496
01:10:38.865 --> 01:10:40.132
Alkaline? It's holy water!

1497
01:10:40.166 --> 01:10:42.068
Joel Osteen holy water.

1498
01:10:42.101 --> 01:10:43.803
It kind got
a pineapple taste to it.

1499
01:10:43.836 --> 01:10:49.108
Since we have vampires,
I got us some UV sunlight.

1500
01:10:49.141 --> 01:10:51.978
Hey, hey, hey.

1501
01:10:54.247 --> 01:10:56.481
You're Black, motherfucker.
It don't work as well.

1502
01:10:56.514 --> 01:10:58.017
Nigga, I can't see now.

1503
01:10:58.050 --> 01:11:01.020
They say short motherfuckers
love to get freaky,

1504
01:11:01.053 --> 01:11:04.156
so I brought this
just for you.

1505
01:11:04.190 --> 01:11:06.591
My boy. You know me,
don't you?

1506
01:11:06.625 --> 01:11:08.493
- Not really.
- Is this real leather?

1507
01:11:08.526 --> 01:11:10.162
- Not really.
- I'm wearing this.

1508
01:11:10.196 --> 01:11:12.131
Look at that. Look,
look, look, look.

1509
01:11:12.164 --> 01:11:14.867
When y'all really ready to
take out some motherfuckers...

1510
01:11:14.901 --> 01:11:16.068
Ooh.

1511
01:11:16.102 --> 01:11:18.137
- This what I pull out.
- Shit.

1512
01:11:18.170 --> 01:11:21.040
- God is great.
- All the time.

1513
01:11:22.108 --> 01:11:23.575
If it ain't a Jesus.

1514
01:11:23.608 --> 01:11:25.678
You got a calling, Carl.
You put that on.

1515
01:11:25.711 --> 01:11:27.747
- Me?
- You put that on.

1516
01:11:30.049 --> 01:11:31.684
God gon' protect you.

1517
01:11:33.618 --> 01:11:35.054
There's something
I want to show you.

1518
01:11:37.056 --> 01:11:39.158
That look like
Leslie Jones' dildo.

1519
01:11:39.191 --> 01:11:41.093
Oh.

1520
01:11:41.127 --> 01:11:43.095
- Nigga...
- Hey, wait, wait, man.

1521
01:11:43.129 --> 01:11:44.462
- I think... I think he just stabbed me, he just...
- Stop it.

1522
01:11:44.496 --> 01:11:45.597
I felt it in my...
in my body.

1523
01:11:45.631 --> 01:11:47.199
No, you're cool.
Don't be bitches.

1524
01:11:47.233 --> 01:11:49.201
You look like you know
what's goin' on.

1525
01:11:49.235 --> 01:11:51.503
I know exactly
what's goin' on.

1526
01:12:00.079 --> 01:12:02.014
Nigga, you're illuminati.
I see you.

1527
01:12:02.048 --> 01:12:03.515
Enough of that.

1528
01:12:04.417 --> 01:12:07.552
- Thank you, Mr. Friday the 13th.
- It's Saturday.

1529
01:12:07.585 --> 01:12:08.988
Nigga,
this nigga Friday the 13th.

1530
01:12:09.021 --> 01:12:11.523
This nigga's... nigga!
All right, cool, cool.

1531
01:12:11.556 --> 01:12:12.792
You keep doing your thing.

1532
01:12:15.861 --> 01:12:17.730
That nigga's
on some <i>Harry Potter</i> shit.

1533
01:12:17.763 --> 01:12:19.832
It's cool, really. I know the nigga.

1534
01:13:01.974 --> 01:13:04.609
This motherfucker lit!

1535
01:13:04.643 --> 01:13:07.079
They know
how to party here.

1536
01:13:07.113 --> 01:13:09.749
We gotta find Allie.

1537
01:13:09.782 --> 01:13:11.150
Damn, man,
I'm staying right here.

1538
01:13:11.183 --> 01:13:13.019
I think I feel good
right here.

1539
01:13:21.660 --> 01:13:24.096
Cronut!
Go that way.

1540
01:13:35.674 --> 01:13:38.944
<i>...with three people dragging someone.</i>

1541
01:13:38.978 --> 01:13:41.047
- Neighborhood, somebody.
- <i>Harrison.</i>

1542
01:13:41.080 --> 01:13:43.282
- This is Harrison.
- <i>Do you guys need a backup unit?</i>

1543
01:13:43.315 --> 01:13:45.117
No, I'm good,
Captain. I mean,

1544
01:13:45.151 --> 01:13:46.919
this shit making me a little
nervous for real, man.

1545
01:13:46.952 --> 01:13:48.921
I mean, we back down
to this spooky-ass house.

1546
01:13:48.954 --> 01:13:50.890
We just left here a
couple of days ago.

1547
01:13:50.923 --> 01:13:52.624
Listen, I don't want
to be no cop.

1548
01:13:52.658 --> 01:13:54.693
I just thought pieces of shit
dropped-dropped big time.

1549
01:13:54.727 --> 01:13:56.295
Man. My man is
shitting on himself.

1550
01:13:56.328 --> 01:13:58.130
This shit is spooky
out here, Captain.

1551
01:13:58.164 --> 01:14:00.833
I mean, shit,
there's all kinds of noises out here

1552
01:14:00.866 --> 01:14:03.235
and fucking some...
some wind and shit. Can y'all...

1553
01:14:03.269 --> 01:14:04.737
I don't got the heart
for this.

1554
01:14:04.770 --> 01:14:05.905
<i>Harrison,
is everything okay?</i>

1555
01:14:05.938 --> 01:14:07.706
What's wrong?
You're supposed to be...

1556
01:14:07.740 --> 01:14:09.607
You're supposed to be hard.
You're acting scared.

1557
01:14:09.642 --> 01:14:11.710
- What's wrong? Harry, what's wrong?
- <i>Harrison.</i>

1558
01:14:11.744 --> 01:14:13.712
I thought you had all the tricks
and now you're acting like a bitch.

1559
01:14:13.746 --> 01:14:15.181
<i>Harrison.</i>

1560
01:14:18.951 --> 01:14:21.020
A bite of crime
'bout to bite you, nigga.

1561
01:14:37.236 --> 01:14:40.806
I'm not a vampire.
My name's Allie, Allie Black.

1562
01:14:40.840 --> 01:14:42.341
I live next door.

1563
01:14:42.374 --> 01:14:46.412
If you could just get me
out of this, it would...

1564
01:14:46.445 --> 01:14:48.214
Okay. Look, my... my...

1565
01:14:48.247 --> 01:14:52.418
Can you ask Dr.Mama-tunday-wanday
to come here?

1566
01:14:52.451 --> 01:14:55.955
Damn.

1567
01:15:04.096 --> 01:15:06.699
What the fuck was that?

1568
01:15:08.834 --> 01:15:11.003
Shut up.

1569
01:15:13.205 --> 01:15:15.708
Don't talk.

1570
01:15:15.741 --> 01:15:17.276
What the fuck is
your problem? Shut up.

1571
01:15:21.147 --> 01:15:25.251
Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Hey.

1572
01:15:55.080 --> 01:15:57.816
- What?
- That was a silver metal nigga.

1573
01:15:57.850 --> 01:16:00.186
Oh, God.
A silver metal nigga?

1574
01:16:00.219 --> 01:16:02.054
Silver metal.
Not a regular nigga.

1575
01:16:02.087 --> 01:16:03.422
Metal nigga?

1576
01:16:03.455 --> 01:16:05.824
There are more of them niggas around.
Trust me.

1577
01:16:08.928 --> 01:16:10.396
- Oh, shit.
- Whoo-whoo.

1578
01:16:11.530 --> 01:16:12.965
Oh, God.

1579
01:16:14.500 --> 01:16:16.135
Please don't hurt me.

1580
01:16:18.003 --> 01:16:20.272
Please, Mr. knight
in big, black armor.

1581
01:16:20.306 --> 01:16:21.941
- Oooh.
- Oh, my God.

1582
01:16:21.974 --> 01:16:24.343
Oh, my God.

1583
01:16:24.376 --> 01:16:28.414
- Shh.
- Mmm.

1584
01:16:28.447 --> 01:16:30.015
- It's Cronut, baby!
- What?!

1585
01:16:30.049 --> 01:16:32.251
- I got you, didn't I?
- Cronut... Cronut...

1586
01:16:32.284 --> 01:16:33.852
- You didn't even know it was me, did you?
- Cronut! Get me out of here.

1587
01:16:33.886 --> 01:16:35.387
- You gotta untie me out, please.
- Yeah.

1588
01:16:35.421 --> 01:16:37.389
You're as fine
as a motherfucker.

1589
01:16:37.423 --> 01:16:39.225
- When did you grow up?
- Cronut, shut... Shut the fuck up!

1590
01:16:39.258 --> 01:16:41.160
If you like it, we second cousins,
we ain't no kin, so we can...

1591
01:16:41.193 --> 01:16:43.796
Are you serious right now?
Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna tell Daddy.

1592
01:16:43.829 --> 01:16:45.998
Oh, shit, man.

1593
01:16:46.031 --> 01:16:48.467
Now I know why
the vampire wanted her.

1594
01:16:48.500 --> 01:16:52.338
Oh, hell no!
That's my baby.

1595
01:16:53.572 --> 01:16:58.277
Baby, please wake up.
Wake up, baby. Oh...

1596
01:16:58.310 --> 01:17:00.312
God.

1597
01:17:00.346 --> 01:17:01.513
- Get your damn hands off! Don't touch my lady!
- Jesus, fuck.

1598
01:17:01.547 --> 01:17:03.115
He's in there,
trying to kill us.

1599
01:17:03.148 --> 01:17:04.850
What the fuck is you
in this shit for

1600
01:17:04.883 --> 01:17:06.418
- in the first place?
- I was trying to escape.

1601
01:17:06.452 --> 01:17:08.020
I was going with Freezee.

1602
01:17:08.053 --> 01:17:09.255
That's what getting
hot in the ass get you.

1603
01:17:09.288 --> 01:17:10.389
Hurry up and get me
the fuck out of here.

1604
01:17:14.093 --> 01:17:15.194
All right. Let's go.

1605
01:17:15.227 --> 01:17:16.962
- What? Oh, oh!
- My feet.

1606
01:17:16.996 --> 01:17:18.497
I was going with Freezee and
I don't even know where he is.

1607
01:17:18.530 --> 01:17:20.099
Yeah, there it is,
right...

1608
01:17:20.132 --> 01:17:21.333
- Stop looking at me.
- Shut the fuck... shh.

1609
01:17:21.367 --> 01:17:25.371
Please come back
to life.

1610
01:17:25.404 --> 01:17:28.574
Please, baby, I want
some of that pussy again.

1611
01:17:28.607 --> 01:17:31.243
I mean, I love you again.
I swear I love you.

1612
01:17:34.880 --> 01:17:36.148
Carl? Carl?

1613
01:17:37.349 --> 01:17:39.084
Jesus Christ,
what happened?

1614
01:17:39.118 --> 01:17:40.853
I had the worst dream.

1615
01:17:40.886 --> 01:17:42.154
What did he do to you?

1616
01:17:42.187 --> 01:17:46.892
I was, uh,
I was trying to bite you.

1617
01:17:46.925 --> 01:17:48.494
Carl, what's in my mouth?

1618
01:17:48.527 --> 01:17:49.862
You look like Blac Chyna.

1619
01:17:49.895 --> 01:17:51.430
Oh, stop.
What's in my mouth?

1620
01:17:51.463 --> 01:17:53.532
I don't know,
but I don't want no head no more.

1621
01:17:53.565 --> 01:17:55.034
What is this, Carl?
What is this?

1622
01:17:55.067 --> 01:17:57.136
It look like a pimple
on the mouth.

1623
01:18:00.939 --> 01:18:02.341
Where is Daddy at?
Where is everybody?

1624
01:18:02.374 --> 01:18:03.976
They right here looking
for your stupid ass.

1625
01:18:04.009 --> 01:18:05.144
But how we gonna get them?

1626
01:18:05.177 --> 01:18:06.278
All right. This is
what we're gonna do.

1627
01:18:06.312 --> 01:18:08.213
All right.
This me, this you.

1628
01:18:08.247 --> 01:18:09.848
- When I'm gonna say "hike," you're gonna throw the ball...
- Right.

1629
01:18:09.882 --> 01:18:11.317
Nah, I don't like that play.

1630
01:18:11.350 --> 01:18:13.519
This is what we gon'
do, ten yards cut...

1631
01:18:13.552 --> 01:18:15.421
- Are you playing football?
- You-you want to get out of here or not?

1632
01:18:15.454 --> 01:18:17.389
- It doesn't work! Shut the fuck up.
- Just let's go.

1633
01:18:28.967 --> 01:18:31.403
- No.
- Calm down. No.

1634
01:18:31.437 --> 01:18:32.905
Don't you do
your neck like that.

1635
01:18:32.938 --> 01:18:34.473
Calm down.

1636
01:18:37.076 --> 01:18:38.911
- Calm the fuck down.
- Please, please.

1637
01:18:41.113 --> 01:18:44.917
No! Cronut, no!

1638
01:18:44.950 --> 01:18:46.452
Please.

1639
01:18:53.025 --> 01:18:55.961
Don't you do it,
don't you do it.

1640
01:18:55.994 --> 01:18:58.464
No...

1641
01:19:01.500 --> 01:19:03.102
Mayweather.

1642
01:19:03.135 --> 01:19:04.236
He gave it like that.

1643
01:19:06.238 --> 01:19:08.107
Yeah!

1644
01:19:20.386 --> 01:19:23.656
I'm a vampire slayer.
I'm like Blade.

1645
01:19:23.690 --> 01:19:25.157
- I did that.
- You did what?

1646
01:19:25.190 --> 01:19:27.159
- I killed him.
- No, I did that. I did...

1647
01:19:27.192 --> 01:19:28.494
- Really?
- I'm Blade. Yeah, yeah.

1648
01:19:31.263 --> 01:19:33.065
Let's go find your dad.

1649
01:19:33.098 --> 01:19:35.567
Carl, I don't feel well.
Tell me, where are we?

1650
01:19:35.601 --> 01:19:36.935
<i>Lorena?</i>

1651
01:19:38.237 --> 01:19:39.271
There he is!

1652
01:19:39.304 --> 01:19:40.305
Carl Black.

1653
01:19:41.373 --> 01:19:43.575
Release my beloved.

1654
01:19:43.609 --> 01:19:45.310
That's the nigga
next door.

1655
01:19:45.344 --> 01:19:47.312
You don't mess
with a man's wife!

1656
01:19:47.346 --> 01:19:48.981
That is our wife.

1657
01:19:49.014 --> 01:19:51.183
She is at least
on a time share.

1658
01:19:51.216 --> 01:19:53.385
I've been waiting
my whole life for you

1659
01:19:53.419 --> 01:19:58.658
to kill you, you punk-bitch,
little ass, dick-looking bitch.

1660
01:19:58.691 --> 01:20:01.226
You call him
a bitch? Come on.

1661
01:20:01.260 --> 01:20:03.663
We ain't finna be too many more bitches up
in here now. You better watch your mouth.

1662
01:20:03.696 --> 01:20:06.331
Listen here,
Black Baltimore Raven.

1663
01:20:06.365 --> 01:20:11.136
You will no longer
disparage my household.

1664
01:20:11.170 --> 01:20:12.371
Hit him
with that juice.

1665
01:20:16.442 --> 01:20:19.378
Hit him again. Damn,
let me see your shit.

1666
01:20:19.411 --> 01:20:21.613
Man, that's mango juice
you're throwing on that man.

1667
01:20:21.648 --> 01:20:23.248
Why this nigga
is not dying?

1668
01:20:23.282 --> 01:20:25.350
- Why?
- Oh, man. That's bullshit.

1669
01:20:25.384 --> 01:20:27.085
- What kind of nigga is this?
- Fuck you're gonna kill a vampire

1670
01:20:27.119 --> 01:20:29.388
with Visine, motherfucker?

1671
01:20:29.421 --> 01:20:30.522
Hit him
with that third one.

1672
01:20:30.556 --> 01:20:31.990
Punk bitch, die!

1673
01:20:33.525 --> 01:20:35.994
This nigga is not dying.
Back up.

1674
01:20:36.028 --> 01:20:37.697
Thank you, ladies.

1675
01:20:37.730 --> 01:20:39.465
- Whoa.
- Daddy.

1676
01:20:39.498 --> 01:20:41.200
- Where you been?
- We've been looking for you.

1677
01:20:41.233 --> 01:20:43.703
- I saved Allie.
- No, I saved you.

1678
01:20:43.736 --> 01:20:45.638
<i>Enough!</i>

1679
01:20:47.606 --> 01:20:50.275
Look how you got my
woman's mouth looking, man.

1680
01:20:50.309 --> 01:20:53.612
I bring to you
from Africa, Egypt,

1681
01:20:53.646 --> 01:20:56.048
Denmark and Dayton.

1682
01:21:03.522 --> 01:21:05.023
That's Jodeci!

1683
01:21:08.661 --> 01:21:10.429
No!

1684
01:21:11.497 --> 01:21:15.133
I swear by the black hairs
of your chinny chin chin,

1685
01:21:15.167 --> 01:21:17.503
I will huff and puff

1686
01:21:17.536 --> 01:21:21.306
<i>and these
demons will blow your house down.</i>

1687
01:21:21.340 --> 01:21:23.242
What's up, y'all?

1688
01:21:23.275 --> 01:21:25.812
- Watch out... oh!
- Oh, shit!

1689
01:21:25.845 --> 01:21:27.312
What the hell are you
doing here?

1690
01:21:27.346 --> 01:21:28.748
Freezee,

1691
01:21:28.781 --> 01:21:30.249
what happened to you?

1692
01:21:30.282 --> 01:21:33.118
Vampire gang.
We out here, gang-gang!

1693
01:21:33.151 --> 01:21:34.687
They done hooked your boy up.

1694
01:21:34.721 --> 01:21:39.224
Half vampire, half goat
legs, full horse dick.

1695
01:21:39.258 --> 01:21:41.226
Donkey dick.

1696
01:21:42.662 --> 01:21:44.463
It's all backwards,
though.

1697
01:21:44.496 --> 01:21:46.298
Your ass
is forward, Freezee.

1698
01:21:46.331 --> 01:21:47.667
They done fuck me up
in the lab.

1699
01:21:47.700 --> 01:21:50.335
You're a hairy
retarded vampire.

1700
01:21:50.369 --> 01:21:52.137
- This ain't the life I chose.
- You fucked him up.

1701
01:21:52.170 --> 01:21:54.206
You fucked him up.
You fucked him up.

1702
01:21:54.239 --> 01:21:56.174
I appreciate it.
At least I can walk now.

1703
01:21:56.208 --> 01:21:58.778
Listen here,
Switchblade.

1704
01:21:58.811 --> 01:22:01.781
You already know
Black Lives Matter.

1705
01:22:01.814 --> 01:22:05.818
This is Black matter lives.

1706
01:22:07.286 --> 01:22:09.254
Welcome to the dark,
motherfucker.

1707
01:22:09.288 --> 01:22:11.156
<i>Attack!</i>

1708
01:22:11.189 --> 01:22:12.224
Come on. Come on.
Come on.

1709
01:22:44.256 --> 01:22:46.158
- You hit me in the nuts!
- I'm sorry.

1710
01:22:47.326 --> 01:22:48.828
I'm tired of your ass.

1711
01:22:53.565 --> 01:22:55.601
Let's go, bitch.
Let's go.

1712
01:23:02.474 --> 01:23:04.176
I got you!

1713
01:23:11.718 --> 01:23:15.454
- Yeah, bitch!
- Die slow! Die slow!

1714
01:23:15.487 --> 01:23:17.189
Carl!
Behind you!

1715
01:23:28.735 --> 01:23:29.636
Help her.

1716
01:23:34.707 --> 01:23:37.877
- I can't move my hand.
- I can't move mine.

1717
01:23:37.910 --> 01:23:40.212
I'm throwing up
gang signs.

1718
01:23:48.620 --> 01:23:50.690
Finally, Lorena.

1719
01:24:21.954 --> 01:24:25.357
Nigga is not dead yet.
I don't think he's dead.

1720
01:24:35.267 --> 01:24:36.636
Baby, he's not dead.

1721
01:24:39.772 --> 01:24:44.276
<i>You know I'm coming now.</i>

1722
01:24:46.511 --> 01:24:48.848
Go get the voodoo doll.
It's the only way to kill him.

1723
01:24:48.881 --> 01:24:51.216
- All right. Cool.
- Hurry.

1724
01:24:56.354 --> 01:24:57.890
Go lock the back door.

1725
01:24:57.924 --> 01:24:59.324
Get the doors locked.
Come on.

1726
01:24:59.357 --> 01:25:00.525
We can't kill him
without the voodoo doll!

1727
01:25:02.862 --> 01:25:04.864
Cronut, hurry up.
Hurry.

1728
01:25:06.431 --> 01:25:07.900
Hurry up, Cronut.

1729
01:25:09.769 --> 01:25:11.971
Wooky said this
will kill the vampire.

1730
01:25:12.004 --> 01:25:13.505
Is that it?

1731
01:25:13.538 --> 01:25:14.874
- Yeah.
- All right. Let's go.

1732
01:25:16.909 --> 01:25:18.310
Whoa! Shit!

1733
01:25:19.846 --> 01:25:21.681
Ah, shit!

1734
01:25:23.916 --> 01:25:26.618
Come on, come on. Oh, shit!

1735
01:25:26.652 --> 01:25:28.587
- Please. Please.
- Hey, hey, stop.

1736
01:25:28.620 --> 01:25:31.023
Please.

1737
01:25:32.792 --> 01:25:35.027
Shit!

1738
01:25:54.881 --> 01:25:56.414
<i>Lorena.</i>

1739
01:25:57.884 --> 01:26:00.552
<i>Come to me, Lorena.</i>

1740
01:26:00.585 --> 01:26:02.655
- Carl...
- What's wrong?

1741
01:26:02.688 --> 01:26:04.389
He's calling me.

1742
01:26:07.592 --> 01:26:09.561
<i>You can kill me,</i>

1743
01:26:09.594 --> 01:26:12.665
<i>but you cannot make me die.</i>

1744
01:26:22.642 --> 01:26:25.610
<i>I will have what belongs to me.</i>

1745
01:26:35.121 --> 01:26:37.355
I'm 'bout to go kill
Mamuwalde.

1746
01:26:37.389 --> 01:26:38.925
Okay.

1747
01:26:43.428 --> 01:26:44.931
Damn, Hugo.

1748
01:26:44.964 --> 01:26:46.498
Nobody calls me Hugo.

1749
01:26:47.633 --> 01:26:48.968
What do they call you then?

1750
01:26:49.001 --> 01:26:51.403
<i>Filero.</i>

1751
01:26:51.436 --> 01:26:53.706
And what's <i>Filero?</i>

1752
01:26:53.739 --> 01:26:56.843
It means blade
in Mexican.

1753
01:26:59.946 --> 01:27:01.513
Really?

1754
01:27:15.460 --> 01:27:16.996
Carl... no...

1755
01:27:18.831 --> 01:27:21.167
<i>Where
do you think you're going?</i>

1756
01:27:21.200 --> 01:27:22.969
What did you just do
to me?

1757
01:27:23.002 --> 01:27:24.670
<i>Do you feel that?</i>

1758
01:27:26.038 --> 01:27:27.505
I got the voodoo doll.

1759
01:27:27.539 --> 01:27:30.076
Break the voodoo doll.

1760
01:27:30.109 --> 01:27:32.477
- What?
- Break the voodoo doll!

1761
01:27:33.612 --> 01:27:34.680
Cronut!

1762
01:27:34.714 --> 01:27:36.883
<i>Release your meaningless life.</i>

1763
01:27:36.916 --> 01:27:39.051
Fuck out that...

1764
01:27:39.085 --> 01:27:41.453
<i>I see we don't know what immortal means.</i>

1765
01:27:41.486 --> 01:27:43.956
Break the doll, the voodoo doll.

1766
01:27:45.825 --> 01:27:47.126
- Break it!
- Break it!

1767
01:28:01.707 --> 01:28:04.677
- You motherfucker.
- <i>Don't you touch me.</i>

1768
01:28:09.048 --> 01:28:11.117
<i>Come to me, Lorena.</i>

1769
01:28:11.884 --> 01:28:15.021
- You better stop!
- <i>Come this way.</i>

1770
01:28:15.054 --> 01:28:17.455
Lorena, wake up!

1771
01:28:17.489 --> 01:28:18.958
<i>Lorena.</i>

1772
01:28:20.558 --> 01:28:23.029
<i>Take your place with me.</i>

1773
01:28:23.062 --> 01:28:24.864
Babe, don't do
this! Baby!

1774
01:28:24.897 --> 01:28:29.567
<i>We are the Jay-Z and Beyoncé
of the underworld.</i>

1775
01:28:31.270 --> 01:28:35.041
<i>Complete my darkness.</i>

1776
01:28:35.074 --> 01:28:38.244
<i>Come with me.
There's not much time left.</i>

1777
01:28:50.555 --> 01:28:52.858
<i>You don't need him.</i>

1778
01:28:52.892 --> 01:28:56.628
<i>He doesn't have a job
and he can't write a book.</i>

1779
01:29:07.306 --> 01:29:10.009
<i>I got this new book</i>
<i>coming out.</i> Terror Night.

1780
01:29:10.042 --> 01:29:11.711
Nigga! Ain't nobody
reading your book!

1781
01:29:11.744 --> 01:29:14.512
My book is in... in... in
Barnes and Noble's.

1782
01:29:14.546 --> 01:29:17.016
<i>That book was terrible.
It's one of the worst books I ever read.</i>

1783
01:29:17.049 --> 01:29:18.616
Carl, I'm not happy here.

1784
01:29:18.651 --> 01:29:20.019
I need the money, Dad.

1785
01:29:20.052 --> 01:29:21.887
Just... just leave.
Just leave. Go take a nap.

1786
01:29:21.921 --> 01:29:23.521
This ain't the time
for your goddamn book.

1787
01:29:24.657 --> 01:29:26.258
I don't know
if this is it for us.

1788
01:29:26.292 --> 01:29:29.161
I used to think it was the house,
the neighborhood, your book.

1789
01:29:31.998 --> 01:29:33.699
<i>You need to realize
that family's</i>

1790
01:29:33.733 --> 01:29:35.167
<i>the most important thing
in life, not a book.</i>

1791
01:29:36.702 --> 01:29:37.737
- I'm moving out.
- You're messing up.

1792
01:29:39.772 --> 01:29:42.607
It's you and I that don't work.
It's you.

1793
01:29:45.778 --> 01:29:48.047
<i>Come to me now.</i>

1794
01:29:52.818 --> 01:29:54.586
Carl Black,
save your wife.

1795
01:30:09.802 --> 01:30:13.839
Global warming is real.

1796
01:30:31.357 --> 01:30:34.927
Jack Mihoff,
ANN News Live with the Buzz.

1797
01:30:34.960 --> 01:30:37.229
So you've survived the Purge.

1798
01:30:37.263 --> 01:30:40.766
You and this ragtag
band of pimps, hoes...

1799
01:30:40.800 --> 01:30:42.134
- No, that's my family.
- Sorry, what?!

1800
01:30:42.168 --> 01:30:43.803
No. It wasn't no pimps
and hoes over here.

1801
01:30:43.836 --> 01:30:45.603
You defeated the vampire.

1802
01:30:45.638 --> 01:30:47.773
Saved the whole
entire neighborhood.

1803
01:30:47.807 --> 01:30:51.010
Have you, Black Panther,
Chloe, and Bow-Wow

1804
01:30:51.043 --> 01:30:54.612
ever thought about becoming
the new Black Ghostbusters?

1805
01:30:57.783 --> 01:31:00.386
- Hunting ghosts?
- Hunting ghosts? I mean...

1806
01:31:00.419 --> 01:31:01.887
You don't have
to answer that, Carl.

1807
01:31:01.921 --> 01:31:03.789
It's a good idea.
We could make money.

1808
01:31:03.823 --> 01:31:05.091
Let's wait,
let's wait.

1809
01:31:05.124 --> 01:31:07.326
Don't be a bitch.
Let's make this money, Carl.

1810
01:31:07.359 --> 01:31:09.962
Yes. Don't be a bitch.
Make the money.

1811
01:31:09.995 --> 01:31:11.764
And what the fuck
did you do?

1812
01:31:11.797 --> 01:31:13.332
- Look at me.
- We could make money, Carl.

1813
01:31:13.365 --> 01:31:15.634
- Get the money, Carl.
- Carl, let's do it.

1814
01:31:15.668 --> 01:31:17.670
- I'm gonna make money.
- Yeah. Why-why not?

1815
01:31:17.703 --> 01:31:19.271
One more question.
Handicapped white man,

1816
01:31:19.305 --> 01:31:22.341
is it true that your first
experience with vampires

1817
01:31:22.374 --> 01:31:25.945
was in the jungle in Hanoi
where your troop was ambushed,

1818
01:31:25.978 --> 01:31:30.382
you were ravaged,
and your legs were completely destroyed?

1819
01:31:30.416 --> 01:31:32.785
Fuck you, Sammy Sosa.

1820
01:31:32.818 --> 01:31:34.320
One thing I hate
about this neighborhood...

1821
01:31:34.353 --> 01:31:36.188
all the goddamn vampires.

1822
01:31:36.222 --> 01:31:39.191
Well, we would just
like to thank you

1823
01:31:39.225 --> 01:31:41.393
for your service
to this country and make...

1824
01:31:41.427 --> 01:31:42.995
Oh, my Lord!

1825
01:31:43.028 --> 01:31:44.363
His hands are strong,
but his legs are dead.

1826
01:31:44.396 --> 01:31:46.132
Come on. Come on.
Let his hand. Let his hand.

1827
01:31:46.165 --> 01:31:48.000
Get off me, Carl!
Your wife's cheating on you!

1828
01:31:48.033 --> 01:31:49.235
- What are you talking about?
- What?

1829
01:31:49.268 --> 01:31:50.402
- I see everything!
- Shut up!

1830
01:31:50.436 --> 01:31:52.371
- Cronut's gay.
- No, I'm not.

1831
01:31:52.404 --> 01:31:53.739
That don't count in jail.

1832
01:31:53.772 --> 01:31:54.940
That's not even
your daughter!

1833
01:31:54.974 --> 01:31:57.343
- Uh-uh.
- No. I'm sick of this.

1834
01:31:57.376 --> 01:31:59.378
Yeah. I'm sick of you.

1835
01:31:59.411 --> 01:32:01.647
Come on, Carl.

1836
01:32:04.416 --> 01:32:06.152
<i>Are you ready?</i>

1837
01:32:06.185 --> 01:32:08.387
<i>Give me one second,
baby. I'm coming.</i>

1838
01:32:08.420 --> 01:32:10.055
Lord knows I'm coming.

1839
01:32:10.089 --> 01:32:13.392
I know you happy you ain't
with Clive no more.

1840
01:32:13.425 --> 01:32:15.861
- But what's taking you so long?
- You're rushing me, babe.

1841
01:32:15.895 --> 01:32:18.230
You ain't rush Clive.
I know you waited for his ass.

1842
01:32:18.264 --> 01:32:20.900
Just calm down.
You gon' get this dick.

1843
01:32:20.933 --> 01:32:22.701
Gonna drop some
good dick on you.

1844
01:32:22.735 --> 01:32:24.203
Well, hurry.

1845
01:32:24.236 --> 01:32:25.938
- Oh.
- Yeah.

1846
01:32:25.971 --> 01:32:28.073
Yeah.

1847
01:32:28.107 --> 01:32:33.045
You see it.
You see it. Yeah.

1848
01:32:33.078 --> 01:32:35.147
Say you're ready for me
to draw some dick O's.

1849
01:32:38.050 --> 01:32:40.786
<i>Yeah. Yeah. Oh-oh.</i>

1850
01:32:40.819 --> 01:32:42.855
<i>That's it?</i>

1851
01:32:42.888 --> 01:32:44.857
<i>You're kidding.</i>

1852
01:32:44.890 --> 01:32:47.426
Wait. I-I...
damn, this was a long song.

1853
01:32:47.459 --> 01:32:48.961
- Wow.
- You did good. No, no, no.

1854
01:32:48.994 --> 01:32:50.963
What you wowing for?

1855
01:32:52.531 --> 01:32:56.468
<i>Who knocked it down, nigga?</i>

1856
01:32:56.502 --> 01:32:58.771
<i>Bitch ass!</i>

1857
01:34:26.258 --> 01:34:31.030
<i>This is Jack Mihoff
with today's latest buzz.</i>

1858
01:34:31.063 --> 01:34:34.233
<i>There has been reports
of a ragtag band</i>

1859
01:34:34.266 --> 01:34:38.470
<i>of Negro thug
vigilantes and a Mexican.</i>

1860
01:34:38.504 --> 01:34:42.508
<i>Reports have been stated that
they are calling themselves</i>

1861
01:34:42.541 --> 01:34:45.311
<i>the Ghetto Ghostbusters,</i>

1862
01:34:45.344 --> 01:34:48.914
<i>and they are out
for street vengeance.</i>