WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:50.200 --> 00:00:54.280 One day, Pelle was sleeping. 4 00:00:54.560 --> 00:00:57.200 It was actually dark. 5 00:00:58.960 --> 00:01:02.560 But Father wasn't there. 6 00:01:04.760 --> 00:01:08.280 So he went over to Mother's bed. 7 00:01:08.320 --> 00:01:12.640 But Mother wasn't there either. 8 00:01:12.680 --> 00:01:16.320 Where are Mother and Father? 9 00:01:28.600 --> 00:01:33.320 - Mummy! - Come here. 10 00:01:43.960 --> 00:01:47.960 This is how you speak into it, Björn. Like this. 11 00:01:49.960 --> 00:01:54.320 Can you say "Mummy"? Say "Mummy". 12 00:01:56.120 --> 00:01:58.600 No, you're spoiling the flower. 13 00:02:11.400 --> 00:02:14.280 No, no - you're not to play with it! 14 00:02:25.720 --> 00:02:28.120 Goodbye - off to bed now. 15 00:02:39.840 --> 00:02:43.640 It's 16 November, 1962. 16 00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:46.280 - Hello? - Hi, Björn! 17 00:02:46.520 --> 00:02:48.640 How are you, sweetheart? 18 00:02:48.680 --> 00:02:53.280 - Well, not all that good. - Aren't you? 19 00:02:54.400 --> 00:02:57.400 - Is Mum home? - No. 20 00:03:27.680 --> 00:03:31.960 It's a bitter cold gloomy February day in 1970. 21 00:03:33.240 --> 00:03:36.840 The film director Luchino Visconti is on his way to Stockholm. 22 00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:40.120 One of cinema's most outstanding figures, 23 00:03:40.400 --> 00:03:43.680 he's known both for his artistry and his lineage. 24 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:49.680 He's from the nobility of northern Italy. He's a Communist, yet he has servants. 25 00:03:49.720 --> 00:03:52.680 And he's openly gay. 26 00:03:53.120 --> 00:03:57.680 Visconti is out, seeking pure beauty - 27 00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:05.240 perfect beauty in a boy who is to play the lead in his new film. 28 00:04:08.240 --> 00:04:12.640 I can't see his eyes. What colour are they? 29 00:04:12.680 --> 00:04:14.920 Look over here. 30 00:04:14.960 --> 00:04:16.600 Green. 31 00:04:16.640 --> 00:04:20.120 He looks lovely - a beautiful face. 32 00:04:21.360 --> 00:04:23.720 Tell him to take some pictures. 33 00:04:24.360 --> 00:04:30.360 For years, he's travelled, searching - in Hungary, Poland, Finland, Russia. 34 00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:39.680 In a large apartment next to the Grand Hôtel in Stockholm 35 00:04:39.720 --> 00:04:43.200 a group of boys have gathered, full of anticipation. 36 00:04:43.240 --> 00:04:46.920 - He is a child actor. - A child actor, is he? 37 00:04:50.400 --> 00:04:53.680 Have you seen anyone you think might work? 38 00:04:53.720 --> 00:05:00.000 No, not yet. Some are really sweet, but we've not got a bullseye yet. 39 00:05:00.040 --> 00:05:02.920 The door is about to open. 40 00:05:02.960 --> 00:05:07.360 A boy, stood behind the door, doesn't yet know 41 00:05:07.400 --> 00:05:11.560 that his entire life is about to change. 42 00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:17.480 His face is to become an icon - all over the world. 43 00:05:42.280 --> 00:05:45.880 How old is he? Older, right? 44 00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:52.240 - Yes, a little. He's 15. - Big. 15? Very beautiful. Turn your head. 45 00:05:52.280 --> 00:05:53.920 In profile. 46 00:05:54.920 --> 00:05:59.760 - He's very beautiful in this photo. - Did you bring any photographs? 47 00:05:59.800 --> 00:06:01.520 No. 48 00:06:01.560 --> 00:06:04.480 Can you walk round the room in a circle? 49 00:06:07.120 --> 00:06:10.400 He's damn tall. 50 00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:15.880 - Beautiful! Ask him to undress. - Could you bare your torso? 51 00:06:15.920 --> 00:06:18.120 - What? - Can you bare your torso? 52 00:06:18.160 --> 00:06:21.360 - So you're half-naked. - Half-naked? 53 00:06:21.400 --> 00:06:25.880 - Look into the camera, too. - Look into the camera and smile a little. 54 00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:29.600 - Very beautiful... - Walk around a bit. 55 00:06:32.040 --> 00:06:36.880 Ask him to stop. Get a big close-up, really tight! 56 00:06:36.920 --> 00:06:38.760 Turn to camera. 57 00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:42.840 Very, very close. Three-quarter shot, not full face. 58 00:06:46.680 --> 00:06:50.600 - Smile into the camera. - Look into the camera and smile. 59 00:06:51.800 --> 00:06:56.560 - You have a lovely smile! - Thank you. We need to take pictures. 60 00:06:56.600 --> 00:07:01.760 Mario! Let's take close-ups, too - 61 00:07:01.800 --> 00:07:06.600 profile right and left, his face, and full on, with naked torso. 62 00:07:08.800 --> 00:07:11.840 He has a beautiful face. 63 00:08:04.400 --> 00:08:09.120 Welcome to Tenants' Association. You'll be given three options. 64 00:08:09.160 --> 00:08:11.920 Choose the one that best suits your needs. 65 00:08:11.960 --> 00:08:16.240 Well, I need legal advice. 66 00:08:16.280 --> 00:08:19.800 What do I do? I know nothing about this stuff. 67 00:08:19.840 --> 00:08:24.120 Explain what's happened and what you need assistance with, 68 00:08:24.160 --> 00:08:27.320 and I'll do what I can to help. 69 00:08:27.360 --> 00:08:31.720 You could say I'm being threatened with eviction... 70 00:08:33.160 --> 00:08:36.880 - ...with termination of contract. - Right. 71 00:08:39.800 --> 00:08:42.120 In the landlord's letter, Björn, 72 00:08:42.160 --> 00:08:46.840 it says that you're a danger to other tenants, since you left the gas stove on. 73 00:08:46.880 --> 00:08:50.600 - That's bullshit! - Sure, but look here... 74 00:08:50.640 --> 00:08:56.120 - I am not careless. I check it every time! - But it's all part of her concern. 75 00:08:56.160 --> 00:08:59.360 Because a filthy kitchen fan... 76 00:08:59.400 --> 00:09:04.280 - ...covered in oil, can easily catch fire. - I realise that. 77 00:09:04.520 --> 00:09:08.520 That is why you are a danger. You have to keep it clean. 78 00:09:09.280 --> 00:09:13.240 Now, it's a matter of explaining why you were lying on the bed, 79 00:09:13.280 --> 00:09:15.840 with the gas burner on. Because she knows that. 80 00:09:15.880 --> 00:09:21.240 And why the gas burner is on when you are not at home. 81 00:09:21.280 --> 00:09:25.040 Your duvet... I lifted it... 82 00:09:25.080 --> 00:09:29.520 And while I held it up it just disintegrated. 83 00:09:29.560 --> 00:09:34.840 It just collapsed into little foam rubber fragments 84 00:09:34.880 --> 00:09:39.080 of old, disgusting, I don't know what. 85 00:09:39.880 --> 00:09:43.520 Wait... I still have a pillow here. Look! 86 00:09:43.560 --> 00:09:45.680 Underneath here. Look! 87 00:09:46.800 --> 00:09:52.640 Bugs have been feeding on this. It's so bloody revolting. Horrible! 88 00:09:52.680 --> 00:09:55.880 And under it there was a layer this thick... 89 00:09:57.080 --> 00:09:59.880 I don't even know what... Pure filth. 90 00:10:00.920 --> 00:10:03.280 It looks like poo... 91 00:10:04.920 --> 00:10:08.200 ...from carpet beetles or revolting bugs like that. 92 00:10:10.200 --> 00:10:11.800 Bloody disgusting! 93 00:10:17.560 --> 00:10:21.640 - My home's an environmental hazard. - Right. 94 00:10:21.680 --> 00:10:23.680 It's true. 95 00:10:55.440 --> 00:10:59.040 "Cyclone". What did I mean by that title? 96 00:10:59.800 --> 00:11:01.520 Wow...! 97 00:11:14.400 --> 00:11:19.400 I had run away from this ghastly boarding school in Denmark 98 00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:23.640 and got to Stockholm, to my maternal grandparents. 99 00:11:26.160 --> 00:11:29.520 I didn't have any parents, really. 100 00:11:29.560 --> 00:11:33.680 It was Granny that saw to all this stuff. 101 00:11:34.680 --> 00:11:38.400 She put my name down for all sorts of things. 102 00:11:38.440 --> 00:11:41.560 I don't know - I suppose I just went along with it all. 103 00:11:45.400 --> 00:11:49.520 She wanted a celebrity for a grandchild. 104 00:11:52.680 --> 00:11:56.560 And all I was certain about was that I wanted to play music. 105 00:12:02.160 --> 00:12:07.640 I didn't really have any concept of how big this all was. 106 00:12:09.920 --> 00:12:13.760 It was, of course, great to go abroad, 107 00:12:13.800 --> 00:12:15.960 to a country I'd never been to, 108 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:20.000 to do some kind of cool extra school-holiday work. 109 00:12:20.640 --> 00:12:23.160 Ecco - a little bit more... 110 00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:24.880 Quiet, please! 111 00:12:33.760 --> 00:12:37.000 Tadzio - that beautiful sculpture of a boy - 112 00:12:37.040 --> 00:12:40.680 is played by Björn Andrésen, a 15-year-old Swedish boy. 113 00:12:41.760 --> 00:12:45.760 Did you know exactly what you were after when you started looking? 114 00:12:45.800 --> 00:12:48.600 Yes, exactly that. Just like him. 115 00:12:48.640 --> 00:12:53.520 - As if you'd had a photograph? - Yes. He was the sixth boy I'd tried. 116 00:12:53.560 --> 00:12:55.880 I knew immediately. 117 00:12:55.920 --> 00:13:01.880 He is blond, with a perfect profile and grey eyes. Can you see his grey eyes? 118 00:13:01.920 --> 00:13:06.440 "The colour of water", as Mr Mann wrote. Just like the colour of these eyes. 119 00:13:08.160 --> 00:13:12.760 He's to be as cold as a statue. He's understood the part. He's perfect. 120 00:13:12.800 --> 00:13:18.160 There's no risk of slipping into sexuality. That would amount to a serious fault. 121 00:13:19.400 --> 00:13:25.280 I was standing next to Visconti, when this blond boy turned up. 122 00:13:26.160 --> 00:13:28.360 It was plain to see 123 00:13:28.400 --> 00:13:33.920 that Visconti's whole body came to life. 124 00:13:37.040 --> 00:13:42.920 The boy was exquisitely beautiful, with a truly photogenic face. 125 00:13:44.040 --> 00:13:47.400 He was a real find. 126 00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:51.880 He was a boy with a very special charisma. 127 00:13:53.400 --> 00:13:55.280 He seems frail. 128 00:13:57.040 --> 00:14:00.160 And that's really beautiful in a film. 129 00:14:05.160 --> 00:14:09.040 You need to be very careful dealing with children like that. 130 00:14:11.680 --> 00:14:18.040 "Death in Venice" is set at a classic hotel on the Lido, an island off Venice: 131 00:14:18.080 --> 00:14:20.400 the Grand Hôtel des Bains. 132 00:14:20.440 --> 00:14:25.880 The story, written by Thomas Mann, had preoccupied Visconti for years. 133 00:14:26.280 --> 00:14:31.160 With the ancient hotel, he creates a perfect turn-of-the-century setting. 134 00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:37.800 To Visconti, "Death in Venice" is a deeply personal narrative. 135 00:15:18.880 --> 00:15:22.000 Granny came along to Venice. 136 00:15:22.040 --> 00:15:26.280 She'd brought a Super 8 cine camera and, of course, she shot everything. 137 00:15:27.280 --> 00:15:30.800 Visconti gave her a small part, which pleased her no end. 138 00:15:33.680 --> 00:15:36.920 I also had a governess - Miriam. 139 00:15:38.920 --> 00:15:41.920 She was meant to help me with my schoolwork. 140 00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:47.400 You were like a younger brother. 141 00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:52.520 whom I was supposed to protect against this new world, new to me as well. 142 00:15:52.560 --> 00:15:55.960 That was my job, as stated in my contract. 143 00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:58.880 I found it pretty hard going. 144 00:16:06.880 --> 00:16:10.960 Someone mentioned that Visconti had issued an order. 145 00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:15.280 Remember, the whole crew were homosexuals. 146 00:16:15.520 --> 00:16:20.880 An order that no one was as much as to to look at little Tadzio. 147 00:16:22.400 --> 00:16:29.080 Without my being aware of it, I was in a sense being protected by "the man". 148 00:16:35.680 --> 00:16:38.360 It's a love story, one that's pure. 149 00:16:38.400 --> 00:16:41.160 It's neither sexual nor erotic. 150 00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:44.800 It's a higher form of love. Let's say... 151 00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:49.880 - Perfection within love. - I imagine, looking for producers... 152 00:16:49.920 --> 00:16:54.640 The story of the love between an aging composer and an adolescent boy... 153 00:16:54.680 --> 00:16:58.240 - That might cause certain problems. - It did. 154 00:16:58.280 --> 00:17:03.760 One producer in particular wanted to cast a girl, to replace Tadzio. 155 00:17:03.800 --> 00:17:05.960 "No," I said, 156 00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:10.440 "I refuse to have a Tadzia." It wouldn't keep to the author's message, right? 157 00:17:12.040 --> 00:17:19.960 You were to be used to illustrate a story that was in no way your story. 158 00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:25.600 People were a bit scared of Visconti. He was a very... 159 00:17:26.120 --> 00:17:29.240 He was a powerful personality 160 00:17:29.280 --> 00:17:35.200 with a severe look and a stern tone of voice when he spoke. 161 00:17:35.240 --> 00:17:37.440 And he was ruthless. 162 00:17:43.840 --> 00:17:49.600 Visconti's directing - as far as he gave me any - 163 00:17:49.640 --> 00:17:53.960 can be reduced to more or less four directions: 164 00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:14.680 Thomas Mann describes Tadzio as having honey-coloured hair, 165 00:18:14.720 --> 00:18:17.600 like a god in Greek mythology. 166 00:18:20.640 --> 00:18:27.280 And the boy is not really human - rather, an angel of death. 167 00:18:42.480 --> 00:18:48.760 On March 1, 1971, "Death in Venice" has its world premiere in London, 168 00:18:48.800 --> 00:18:52.760 in the presence of the queen and Princess Anne. 169 00:18:55.040 --> 00:18:58.480 It is here that Visconti for the first time 170 00:18:58.520 --> 00:19:03.640 declares Björn to be the most beautiful boy in the world. 171 00:19:04.280 --> 00:19:07.000 The description is to stay with Björn 172 00:19:07.040 --> 00:19:09.760 for the rest of his life. 173 00:19:11.240 --> 00:19:14.160 He is "the most beautiful boy in the world". 174 00:19:14.200 --> 00:19:19.240 But two months later "Death in Venice" is shown at the Cannes Film Festival 175 00:19:19.280 --> 00:19:22.040 and everything takes off. 176 00:19:25.640 --> 00:19:29.960 Cannes, 1971, a ritual that's already 25 years old: 177 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:34.800 Black tie, appropriate smiles, photographers welcoming the stars. 178 00:19:34.840 --> 00:19:39.600 The 25th Festival jury, accompanied by Luchino Visconti. 179 00:19:39.640 --> 00:19:43.000 There is a huge crowd at the Palais des Festivals - 180 00:19:43.040 --> 00:19:46.080 tonight's the opening night of the Film Festival. 181 00:19:51.760 --> 00:19:56.440 The true hurricane, so to speak, 182 00:19:56.480 --> 00:20:00.520 picked up speed at the Cannes Festival. 183 00:20:00.560 --> 00:20:03.080 That's when the real circus started. 184 00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:11.680 Visconti is, as almost always, one of the favourites, 185 00:20:11.720 --> 00:20:14.200 this time with his Death in Venice. 186 00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:22.160 There's a lamp right in my eyes. I can't see! Ah, better now, thanks. 187 00:20:22.200 --> 00:20:25.000 Backlighting's better... Questions? 188 00:20:25.040 --> 00:20:30.320 - May I ask you a question, Mr Visconti? - By all means. 189 00:20:30.360 --> 00:20:34.480 One need hardly point out, yet again, the prowess of Dirk Bogarde. 190 00:20:34.520 --> 00:20:39.440 - But Björn Andrésen was unknown to us. - I'll give you the Björn Andrésen story... 191 00:20:39.480 --> 00:20:43.720 ...with his permission. He's not too good at French, but he knows all this: 192 00:20:43.760 --> 00:20:45.960 I'd got to Stockholm 193 00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:50.680 and on the first day I started screen-testing young Swedish boys. 194 00:20:50.720 --> 00:20:56.760 The fifth boy to enter the room was Monsieur Björn Andrésen. 195 00:20:56.800 --> 00:21:01.000 And I was absolutely sure he was right for Tadzio. I had no doubt whatsoever. 196 00:21:01.040 --> 00:21:06.760 I had every inch of him photographed, from top to toe... You remember! 197 00:21:07.120 --> 00:21:08.920 We'd found Tadzio! 198 00:21:08.960 --> 00:21:12.880 He was even more beautiful back then. He has aged now. 199 00:21:13.560 --> 00:21:18.200 He's too tall now. His hair's too long. He was a more beautiful boy back then. 200 00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:21.960 Not that he knows, but he's changing. He might become a handsome man. 201 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:24.720 But for the moment, well... 202 00:21:25.280 --> 00:21:27.760 He's at an awkward age. 203 00:21:27.800 --> 00:21:30.200 He is fifteen now... 204 00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:33.480 No, sixteen. He is very old now. 205 00:21:34.280 --> 00:21:36.040 Move it along! 206 00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:43.880 I was pretty terrified. 207 00:21:45.360 --> 00:21:53.480 It felt like swarms of bats around me, pretty much all the time. 208 00:21:57.200 --> 00:21:59.960 It was a living nightmare. 209 00:22:04.360 --> 00:22:08.640 Suddenly, I felt that people were looking up to me. 210 00:22:11.040 --> 00:22:13.400 And acknowledging me. 211 00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:15.840 Even sucking up to me. 212 00:22:17.960 --> 00:22:22.560 "What the hell's this? How come everyone suddenly likes me?" 213 00:22:23.040 --> 00:22:28.520 That's not a good basis for strong self-esteem, 214 00:22:28.560 --> 00:22:34.000 since you know you can't trust someone's genuinely liking you. 215 00:22:34.040 --> 00:22:39.840 Moreover, Visconti had declared me to be 216 00:22:39.880 --> 00:22:44.880 "the most beautiful boy in the world". 217 00:22:54.840 --> 00:22:58.960 I'd planned to have great makeup on, but now it all looks crap. 218 00:23:00.040 --> 00:23:05.000 Heck! Oh well, no one'll notice. 219 00:23:05.040 --> 00:23:07.240 There! 220 00:23:07.280 --> 00:23:09.760 Right. Okay... 221 00:23:09.800 --> 00:23:13.440 - Do I look all right? - You look great. 222 00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:16.760 You should have black socks. You can't wear those. 223 00:23:16.800 --> 00:23:19.040 I can put my boots on. 224 00:23:19.080 --> 00:23:22.800 - No, you can't have it like that! - No, all right. 225 00:23:24.440 --> 00:23:26.560 - Björn! - Okay, I'll open. 226 00:23:29.560 --> 00:23:30.960 - Hello! - Hi. 227 00:23:31.000 --> 00:23:33.080 - You do look fine! - Do I? 228 00:23:33.120 --> 00:23:36.440 - Hi. - Hi. I'm Jessica. 229 00:23:36.480 --> 00:23:38.320 - And I'm Eva. - Hi, Eva. 230 00:23:38.360 --> 00:23:41.520 It didn't look like this on my last visit. The gas burner was on. 231 00:23:41.560 --> 00:23:44.680 - Yes, I realise. - And it was utterly... Well, you know. 232 00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:46.760 Yes. 233 00:23:46.800 --> 00:23:53.720 I always used to have a gas burner on... 234 00:23:54.560 --> 00:23:56.680 ...during the winter months. 235 00:23:56.720 --> 00:24:00.040 - When you sat in the kitchen. - Of course. 236 00:24:00.080 --> 00:24:05.560 But otherwise, too, when it's been really cold outdoors. 237 00:24:05.600 --> 00:24:08.440 But that's hardly normal, 238 00:24:08.480 --> 00:24:11.800 seeing as the block is reasonably well heated. 239 00:24:11.840 --> 00:24:14.800 - Do you take milk, Eva? - No thanks. 240 00:24:14.840 --> 00:24:16.600 - Sugar? - No, as it is. 241 00:24:16.640 --> 00:24:19.200 - Is this okay? - Yes, thank you. 242 00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:23.240 - Who are you, by the way? - I'm Jessica. I'm Björn's girlfriend. 243 00:24:23.280 --> 00:24:27.560 Ah, okay! You're the one who called me yesterday. Right. 244 00:24:29.840 --> 00:24:33.240 So, first and foremost... Last Monday... 245 00:24:35.280 --> 00:24:39.000 I don't really know how to explain what happened... 246 00:24:39.040 --> 00:24:42.800 You can't explain it, as it had never happened before. That's all. 247 00:24:42.840 --> 00:24:49.320 Exactly, that's it. I'm not lacking in powers of judgement. 248 00:24:49.360 --> 00:24:54.240 Of course I turn the gas off when I leave the flat or go to bed. 249 00:24:54.280 --> 00:24:58.600 The state of the flat, though... There's a fine line between your integrity 250 00:24:58.640 --> 00:25:04.240 as to having your flat the way you want it and your obligations as a tenant. 251 00:25:04.280 --> 00:25:06.800 This may come as a comfort to you, as a landlord: 252 00:25:06.840 --> 00:25:11.160 There isn't a single animal to be found in this flat. How about that Björn! 253 00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:15.440 Not a single bug or insect! 254 00:25:15.480 --> 00:25:19.240 - Amazing, considering... - I'm happy to note that. 255 00:25:19.280 --> 00:25:23.920 - I smoked them to death. - But now we smoke out on the balcony. 256 00:25:23.960 --> 00:25:27.200 Björn is truly a decent well-ordered person. 257 00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:30.600 I'm sure he is. Everything will be fine. 258 00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:33.960 He hasn't disturbed any neighbours in all these years. 259 00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:38.560 You're well-behaved in that sense. 260 00:25:38.600 --> 00:25:41.080 It will be fine. 261 00:25:41.120 --> 00:25:44.200 We need to clean this door, too. 262 00:25:50.960 --> 00:25:52.800 Wow! 263 00:25:52.840 --> 00:25:55.240 Can you believe it! 264 00:25:55.280 --> 00:25:59.560 Oh, Björn! My God, what a relief! 265 00:26:03.520 --> 00:26:06.480 - Right. Let's get drunk! - Yes, drunk. 266 00:26:06.520 --> 00:26:08.480 Bloody soused. 267 00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:15.000 - We've earned it, for ten days' cleaning. - Hell, I need a cig! 268 00:26:15.040 --> 00:26:17.120 - Yup. - Now! 269 00:26:18.120 --> 00:26:21.200 A new bed. You really need one. 270 00:26:21.840 --> 00:26:27.000 Nobody should be made to sleep the way you've had to. 271 00:26:27.040 --> 00:26:29.240 - No. - My sweetheart... 272 00:26:29.280 --> 00:26:32.920 That's what happens when you don't feel like a human being. 273 00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:34.720 My darling. 274 00:26:44.520 --> 00:26:47.440 Now I feel like a human being again. 275 00:26:47.480 --> 00:26:49.560 Hey... 276 00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:56.800 - What do those tears taste like? - I don't know. 277 00:27:15.760 --> 00:27:18.440 The premiere-night banquet... 278 00:27:19.480 --> 00:27:22.760 "You've served your purpose", as it were. 279 00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:29.440 "We've got our film now. So you can do what you want with the boy." 280 00:27:32.360 --> 00:27:35.080 Granny had gone to bed. 281 00:27:35.120 --> 00:27:38.880 She had placed me in their care, so to speak. 282 00:27:43.280 --> 00:27:46.000 I had no idea where we'd ended up. 283 00:27:46.040 --> 00:27:52.160 I'd never been to a nightclub, and definitely not a gay club. 284 00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:54.440 Moreover, Luchino was there. 285 00:27:56.560 --> 00:27:59.520 What I remember is... 286 00:27:59.560 --> 00:28:03.560 Hell...! Red velvet walls. Glossy black paint... 287 00:28:05.840 --> 00:28:09.240 I'd never experienced anything like that. 288 00:28:09.280 --> 00:28:13.080 Voracious looks, 289 00:28:13.120 --> 00:28:18.440 wet lips, rolling tongues... 290 00:28:21.080 --> 00:28:25.040 It felt as though, in their minds, they were giving me a blowjob. 291 00:28:27.760 --> 00:28:32.520 So I drank, drink after drink, 292 00:28:32.560 --> 00:28:36.960 whatever I could lay my hands on, just to shut it out. 293 00:28:41.040 --> 00:28:43.640 I don't remember how I got home. 294 00:28:55.240 --> 00:29:01.840 His role as Tadzio makes him famous overnight. The entire world wants him. 295 00:29:05.280 --> 00:29:08.920 But Visconti's contract with Björn ties Björn down 296 00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:12.840 to the role of the Most Beautiful Boy in the World. 297 00:29:12.880 --> 00:29:18.600 For three years, Visconti "owns" Björn's face. 298 00:29:23.520 --> 00:29:28.520 I've cut out articles on Björn from various newspapers. 299 00:29:28.760 --> 00:29:31.760 In some photos, he looks so unhappy. 300 00:29:31.800 --> 00:29:35.200 Yes, I was damned lonely. 301 00:29:35.240 --> 00:29:40.720 There were hordes of journalists - it must have been after the premiere - 302 00:29:40.760 --> 00:29:42.960 outside your door. 303 00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:47.040 Sackfuls of mail had been delivered... 304 00:29:47.080 --> 00:29:49.440 - From Japan. - Mainly Japan. 305 00:29:49.480 --> 00:29:52.840 There was mail from men, too, that were fascinated by you. 306 00:29:53.640 --> 00:29:56.440 What I remember from those days 307 00:29:56.480 --> 00:30:02.360 was the difference between Granny's excitement about the whole business... 308 00:30:02.840 --> 00:30:06.760 - Yes? - ...and your lack of excitement about it. 309 00:30:06.800 --> 00:30:09.400 She became "Björn Andrésen's Granny". 310 00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:11.640 Yes, that's certainly true. 311 00:30:15.120 --> 00:30:18.000 You used to run away from Granny's place. 312 00:30:18.040 --> 00:30:21.240 There were so many conflicts at home there. 313 00:30:22.640 --> 00:30:26.800 It was as if the film took over. 314 00:30:26.840 --> 00:30:32.560 As if you were drawn into a tornado without being able to defend yourself. 315 00:30:32.600 --> 00:30:34.720 Exactly. 316 00:30:34.760 --> 00:30:40.160 Then you went to Japan, and I don't really know what happened there. 317 00:30:40.200 --> 00:30:45.080 And after that, we never saw each other again. 318 00:30:55.760 --> 00:31:02.280 After watching Death in Venice, Visconti's film, 319 00:31:02.520 --> 00:31:08.520 everyone around me became fans of Björn. 320 00:31:08.560 --> 00:31:14.520 Everybody talked about "Björn, Björn". 321 00:31:15.880 --> 00:31:20.520 That was almost 50 years ago, half a century ago. 322 00:31:20.560 --> 00:31:25.000 Maybe it was because Westerners were still uncommon here, 323 00:31:25.040 --> 00:31:28.240 but people went wild. 324 00:31:31.560 --> 00:31:36.840 He arrives in Japan as the first idol from the West. 325 00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:42.720 All's been prepared. There are Death-in-Venice style outfits. 326 00:31:42.760 --> 00:31:46.040 Sony's leading producer has already recorded backings 327 00:31:46.080 --> 00:31:50.320 for pop numbers that Björn is to sing. And a film crew is standing by, 328 00:31:50.360 --> 00:31:54.800 waiting to use him for a commercial - his face, that is. 329 00:31:58.200 --> 00:32:01.000 I thought: "This can't be happening!" 330 00:32:01.040 --> 00:32:05.280 It's like there's this surreal membrane 331 00:32:05.520 --> 00:32:08.800 separating you from the rest of the world. 332 00:32:12.040 --> 00:32:17.960 They were on the roof with streamers and posters saying "Welcome, Björn". 333 00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:21.600 They had scissors, ready to snip off locks of my hair. 334 00:32:23.840 --> 00:32:26.480 It was like a surreal dream. 335 00:32:51.800 --> 00:32:54.600 I'm pretty bloody sure this was the lift. 336 00:32:54.640 --> 00:32:57.080 I recognise the pushbuttons. 337 00:32:57.120 --> 00:33:01.920 In 1971, touch buttons weren't in common use. 338 00:33:01.960 --> 00:33:05.480 It was definitely this lift. Okay... 339 00:33:08.280 --> 00:33:10.800 716, was that the room number? 340 00:33:27.480 --> 00:33:31.480 - Good morning. - Good morning...! 341 00:35:03.560 --> 00:35:10.760 He wasn't given any information before the shooting started. 342 00:35:13.040 --> 00:35:17.600 He had no choice but to do as he was told. 343 00:35:18.440 --> 00:35:22.600 I do feel that it was hard on him, 344 00:35:22.640 --> 00:35:29.160 but the atmosphere didn't allow us to consider how he felt about it all. 345 00:36:04.720 --> 00:36:08.840 They gave me two or three red pills... 346 00:36:10.440 --> 00:36:13.160 ...that were meant to make me feel better. 347 00:36:19.920 --> 00:36:26.200 You didn't like this situation. To pose in this way. 348 00:36:28.720 --> 00:36:35.880 In Death in Venice, Björn embodies the concept of "bishonen". 349 00:36:38.120 --> 00:36:44.000 There is a homosexual aspect to it. 350 00:36:55.080 --> 00:36:58.680 - Then there was the concert. - How many numbers did you do? 351 00:36:58.720 --> 00:37:01.880 I don't know. I got these red pills... 352 00:37:04.120 --> 00:37:08.160 - I'm really shocked. - Oh yes. This was back in 1971. 353 00:37:08.200 --> 00:37:11.120 I don't care, it's goddam child abuse. 354 00:37:11.160 --> 00:37:13.960 In my confusion I just said: "Okay..." 355 00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:17.080 - What was it? Amphetamine? - Not the foggiest. 356 00:37:17.120 --> 00:37:19.240 - Stesolid? - I've no bloody idea! 357 00:37:20.080 --> 00:37:24.920 But anyway, you're up there on stage, and they're telling you... 358 00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:28.800 Wait, I just need to absorb this. Wait! 359 00:37:28.840 --> 00:37:31.840 - I'm going too fast? - No, it's so upsetting. Wait... 360 00:37:32.560 --> 00:37:37.000 - Hey, this was nearly 50 years ago. - But it makes me sad. 361 00:37:40.880 --> 00:37:44.600 - You needn't feel sad. - But I do. It makes me sad. 362 00:37:44.640 --> 00:37:48.000 I just think it's so bloody awful. 363 00:37:56.560 --> 00:38:02.800 The first time we met, I was dazzled. I couldn't believe such a person existed. 364 00:38:02.840 --> 00:38:07.400 There was something mysterious in his expression. 365 00:38:07.440 --> 00:38:10.360 He had a brightness to him. 366 00:38:10.400 --> 00:38:14.880 But although he was only a teenager, I could also sense a dark side. 367 00:38:15.600 --> 00:38:20.520 It gave him a three-dimensional appeal. I remember how it really attracted me. 368 00:38:20.560 --> 00:38:24.520 He was the original idol. He started the whole idol culture. 369 00:38:27.440 --> 00:38:34.480 He had this dark side too, although he was acknowledged by Visconti. 370 00:38:34.520 --> 00:38:37.920 That was an asset for Björn, at the same time a burden to him. 371 00:38:38.520 --> 00:38:42.800 There are actors like that in Japan, who had Kurosawa's recognition 372 00:38:42.840 --> 00:38:46.640 and suffered throughout their careers due to it. 373 00:38:47.880 --> 00:38:54.720 This may sound exaggerated, but one could call it his fate. 374 00:38:56.440 --> 00:39:01.440 So, we told him that we'd really love to cut a record with him. 375 00:39:03.200 --> 00:39:10.360 I was born for love 376 00:39:10.400 --> 00:39:15.200 Upon that day there I was 377 00:39:15.240 --> 00:39:18.480 Japanese is not an easy language. 378 00:39:18.520 --> 00:39:23.520 Yet he had a great ear and soon learned to sing Japanese naturally. 379 00:39:26.520 --> 00:39:31.200 Why do the world's flowers blossom when we are together? 380 00:39:31.680 --> 00:39:37.560 Sony wanted to use one of the songs for a Japanese commercial. 381 00:39:40.080 --> 00:39:45.080 For you who cried... 382 00:39:50.400 --> 00:39:52.920 The heart beats. 383 00:39:52.960 --> 00:39:55.880 Love awakens. 384 00:39:56.840 --> 00:40:00.240 Meiji Chocolate. Excel! 385 00:40:06.840 --> 00:40:11.840 A stirring in my heart 386 00:40:13.080 --> 00:40:19.440 had me feeling this love 387 00:40:19.480 --> 00:40:25.000 Nonetheless it was pure 388 00:40:26.000 --> 00:40:31.000 For you who cried those sweet tears 389 00:40:53.200 --> 00:40:55.400 Jessica! 390 00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:03.680 - Jessica? - Yes? 391 00:41:04.680 --> 00:41:06.520 What's the time? 392 00:41:07.320 --> 00:41:11.200 - You need to get up. - Jess... 393 00:41:12.560 --> 00:41:14.520 Jessica... 394 00:41:16.880 --> 00:41:18.680 Jessica! 395 00:41:18.720 --> 00:41:23.880 - Was it at eleven...or twelve? - Eleven. 396 00:41:25.480 --> 00:41:27.640 It's quarter past. 397 00:41:44.480 --> 00:41:49.520 When it comes to shojo manga, comics for girls, 398 00:41:49.560 --> 00:41:53.960 a beautiful face is the most important thing. 399 00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:58.160 When the film was released, 400 00:41:58.400 --> 00:42:04.080 I was amazed to find out that such a person even existed. 401 00:42:04.120 --> 00:42:09.960 I couldn't believe that anyone could be that beautiful. 402 00:42:10.200 --> 00:42:15.080 A human is born, they grow up and there is a moment in their life 403 00:42:15.120 --> 00:42:17.920 when their beauty is in full bloom. 404 00:42:17.960 --> 00:42:22.880 This film managed to catch him, 405 00:42:22.920 --> 00:42:27.640 in that exact moment when he was at the most beautiful he would ever be. 406 00:42:34.640 --> 00:42:37.560 Good afternoon. Nice to meet you. 407 00:42:40.720 --> 00:42:46.160 Björn's face was to inspire a whole generation of manga cartoonists. 408 00:42:46.200 --> 00:42:51.040 In 1971, Riyoko Ikeda was a young, radical feminist. 409 00:42:51.080 --> 00:42:55.320 She became one of Japan's greatest manga artists. 410 00:42:58.320 --> 00:43:02.480 I think all we manga artists are inspired by him on a deeper level. 411 00:43:02.520 --> 00:43:07.080 Each one of us, but in different ways. 412 00:43:07.760 --> 00:43:12.160 Lady Oscar in my manga, "The Rose of Versailles", 413 00:43:12.400 --> 00:43:16.520 is a girl who dresses as a boy. 414 00:43:16.560 --> 00:43:23.520 The character is entirely based on Björn. He was the model. 415 00:43:23.560 --> 00:43:30.200 I've been drawing it for forty or forty-five years. 416 00:43:30.240 --> 00:43:34.080 Do that, André. I don't want anything to happen to you. 417 00:43:35.360 --> 00:43:37.840 I'm going, Oscar. 418 00:43:38.400 --> 00:43:43.720 If to love is to suffer let me suffer 419 00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:49.360 until the day you understand 420 00:43:49.400 --> 00:43:54.040 and realise how I feel 421 00:43:55.320 --> 00:44:00.120 You're the light and I'm the shadow... 422 00:44:00.160 --> 00:44:06.480 There is a kind of sadness in his face. 423 00:44:06.520 --> 00:44:11.480 All we did see was the appearance of Björn Andrésen. 424 00:44:11.520 --> 00:44:16.960 So I always wondered if our perception of him... 425 00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:22.000 ...actually hurt him. 426 00:44:22.040 --> 00:44:27.840 But now I feel that we also saw his inner self. 427 00:47:44.640 --> 00:47:48.280 I have never seen myself as an actor. 428 00:47:48.320 --> 00:47:52.160 Things have just happened. 429 00:48:00.720 --> 00:48:04.600 I went to drama school. I got a lot of casting, once I'd left - 430 00:48:04.640 --> 00:48:07.560 good film parts, TV work, stage work. 431 00:48:09.360 --> 00:48:16.560 Everything went well in terms of my career. But it didn't help me... 432 00:48:17.480 --> 00:48:20.200 ...with my inner darkness. 433 00:49:14.600 --> 00:49:18.040 I don't think anyone has ever watched this. 434 00:49:30.360 --> 00:49:33.080 I remember the last time I saw her. 435 00:49:37.760 --> 00:49:40.760 She must have got off the number 10 tram. 436 00:49:43.320 --> 00:49:47.200 We were on our way to school one day and there she stood, waving away. 437 00:49:47.440 --> 00:49:50.960 We waved back. And she waved. 438 00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:54.560 And we waved back. Even at that point, I thought: 439 00:49:54.600 --> 00:49:57.920 "This is the last time I'll ever see her." 440 00:50:02.560 --> 00:50:05.680 People were wondering where Barbro had got to. 441 00:50:05.720 --> 00:50:09.200 Someone would say: "She's become a nun." 442 00:50:09.240 --> 00:50:14.760 Or: "She's gone abroad." Stuff like that. 443 00:50:17.720 --> 00:50:21.040 Anything but the truth. 444 00:50:29.920 --> 00:50:33.720 Here, Mum has disappeared. She hasn't been found yet. 445 00:50:35.240 --> 00:50:42.840 It was our teacher, Lisbeth Axelsson, at Adolf Fredrik's Music School who wrote: 446 00:50:44.120 --> 00:50:50.040 "Björn Andrésen has much difficulty concentrating and is very talkative. 447 00:50:50.080 --> 00:50:54.440 "To some extent, the same applies to Annike. Grateful for help." 448 00:50:55.720 --> 00:50:57.920 I think it was because... 449 00:50:59.080 --> 00:51:04.320 ...we were deeply affected... 450 00:51:05.520 --> 00:51:10.560 ...obviously, by Mum's disappearance, and we didn't know what had happened. 451 00:51:18.480 --> 00:51:23.000 We were both of us born in 1955. 452 00:51:23.040 --> 00:51:26.520 You were born in January, and I was born in December. 453 00:51:26.560 --> 00:51:29.960 We have the same mother, but different fathers. 454 00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:33.720 In Denmark, they call that "semi twins". 455 00:51:33.760 --> 00:51:39.040 Throughout our childhood you and I were closer 456 00:51:39.080 --> 00:51:43.400 than I was to any friend or you were to any of your friends. 457 00:51:43.440 --> 00:51:45.920 We were really close. 458 00:51:45.960 --> 00:51:50.000 I don't ever remember being without you. It was always just the two of us. 459 00:52:05.680 --> 00:52:10.040 I remember one day the doorbell ringing at Granny and Grandpa's house. 460 00:52:10.080 --> 00:52:15.320 I went out. I think you were there too. Two policemen were standing there. 461 00:52:15.360 --> 00:52:17.600 And they told us... 462 00:52:18.600 --> 00:52:21.520 They had found Mum dead in the woods. 463 00:52:29.040 --> 00:52:34.600 And ever since, since that day, since that hour, 464 00:52:34.640 --> 00:52:40.040 no one ever mentioned Mum again. Not a single word was said about her. 465 00:52:40.960 --> 00:52:46.920 Nobody ever spoke to me, or as I remember it, to us, about Mum - 466 00:52:46.960 --> 00:52:51.480 about her having died, her having existed at all, or about how we were feeling. 467 00:52:51.520 --> 00:52:54.960 Not a single word, ever. 468 00:53:07.920 --> 00:53:10.320 She was a seeker. 469 00:53:12.240 --> 00:53:15.560 A bohemian, an artistic soul, as they say. 470 00:53:16.200 --> 00:53:22.640 She was a photographer, she wrote poetry, she painted, she was a journalist. 471 00:53:22.680 --> 00:53:25.880 She had an art gallery... 472 00:53:25.920 --> 00:53:30.240 And, added to all that, she even did modelling for Dior! 473 00:53:32.720 --> 00:53:38.480 She took my sister and me on a year-long trip through Europe 474 00:53:38.520 --> 00:53:41.640 before we'd even started going to school. 475 00:53:41.680 --> 00:53:45.560 And her woman chum came too - Silva. 476 00:53:51.400 --> 00:53:57.280 Mum's biggest secret was who Björn's father was. 477 00:53:57.320 --> 00:54:00.720 That was something she kept secret. 478 00:54:05.080 --> 00:54:09.880 Did Mum ever mention anything 479 00:54:09.920 --> 00:54:14.640 about anyone who might have been my dad? Because I still don't know. 480 00:54:14.680 --> 00:54:18.640 - You still don't know? Oh, dear! - "Oh, dear"? 481 00:54:18.680 --> 00:54:21.680 - Just forget about it! - I see... 482 00:54:21.720 --> 00:54:25.000 - I'm just to forget about it? - Yes, I think so. 483 00:54:25.040 --> 00:54:29.000 - But it's an interesting subject. - Right. 484 00:54:29.040 --> 00:54:35.360 - Yet she never told you about him? - No, not about who it was. Unfortunately. 485 00:54:36.760 --> 00:54:38.000 I see... 486 00:54:40.960 --> 00:54:42.920 Right.... 487 00:54:51.920 --> 00:54:54.320 - Hi, Björn! - Hello there. 488 00:54:54.360 --> 00:54:57.040 Hang on - I'll just put my coffee in the microwave. 489 00:54:57.760 --> 00:55:03.440 - How did it go last night? - Fine. I went on my own. 490 00:55:03.480 --> 00:55:06.680 And... What about Peter? 491 00:55:07.560 --> 00:55:09.840 - Sorry? - What about Peter? 492 00:55:09.880 --> 00:55:14.960 - Peter who? - You wrote about someone called Peter. 493 00:55:16.640 --> 00:55:18.800 - Peter...? - Yeah. 494 00:55:18.840 --> 00:55:21.840 Who "appreciates your company". 495 00:55:22.600 --> 00:55:25.600 - Oh, you mean Peter Dixon! - Okay. 496 00:55:25.640 --> 00:55:30.080 We were at the Carmen restaurant a few days ago. At least he appreciates me. 497 00:55:30.120 --> 00:55:34.480 You didn't want to hang out with me, so I hang out with my friends instead. 498 00:55:34.520 --> 00:55:37.160 - Mm. - Shouldn't I? 499 00:55:38.560 --> 00:55:42.240 I'm not sure. You write that there's a new man in your life. 500 00:55:42.480 --> 00:55:49.000 Right. I'm wondering if I should go for that. Or is it we that should? 501 00:55:49.040 --> 00:55:52.200 There is someone else and he's serious about me. 502 00:55:52.440 --> 00:55:58.240 So, should I let that chance go while you're acting the paranoid geezer? 503 00:55:58.480 --> 00:56:04.200 You shield the entry code so I won't see when we're on the far side of the planet. 504 00:56:04.440 --> 00:56:09.280 And we bath together in the same tub. I file your nails for you. We share a bed. 505 00:56:09.320 --> 00:56:13.320 We touch each other's bodies, yet you still keep your entry code secret. 506 00:56:13.360 --> 00:56:16.040 So I wonder if you're the right man for me, 507 00:56:16.080 --> 00:56:20.200 when there's another man who really wants me. 508 00:56:20.440 --> 00:56:23.720 So, should I really go for you? That's my big question. 509 00:56:23.760 --> 00:56:26.880 Especially when you behave like a damn pig! 510 00:56:26.920 --> 00:56:32.040 - In what way have I behaved like a pig? - In what way? You are a pig, Björn! 511 00:56:32.080 --> 00:56:37.440 You were a pig in Japan. Always using my phone. Not paying for anything. 512 00:56:37.480 --> 00:56:41.400 Keeping me more or less under house arrest in the hotel room for two days. 513 00:56:41.440 --> 00:56:46.440 - Wait a minute, none of this... - Not even giving me your entry code! 514 00:56:46.480 --> 00:56:52.320 I have done so much for you, you ungrateful bloody bastard! 515 00:56:53.080 --> 00:56:55.240 Okay... 516 00:57:08.240 --> 00:57:11.000 Okay, how am I to sort this out? 517 00:57:40.560 --> 00:57:45.920 All children born out of wedlock after 1917 518 00:57:45.960 --> 00:57:50.920 were allocated a child welfare officer, who was most often a woman. 519 00:57:50.960 --> 00:57:55.240 These officers were meant to support the unmarried mother 520 00:57:55.480 --> 00:58:00.000 and also help establish who the father was. 521 00:58:00.040 --> 00:58:03.200 This is the file on you. 522 00:58:03.240 --> 00:58:08.200 We have another file, too, from police records this time. 523 00:58:08.440 --> 00:58:13.200 It's about your mother's disappearance. 524 00:58:13.240 --> 00:58:16.080 - Okay. All right. - Yes. 525 00:58:17.200 --> 00:58:21.120 It can be somewhat tough to read, naturally. 526 00:58:21.160 --> 00:58:25.200 So it's up to you if you want to look at it now 527 00:58:25.240 --> 00:58:29.280 or have copies made, to read in the peace and quiet of your own home. 528 00:58:29.320 --> 00:58:33.200 In police investigation records like these 529 00:58:33.440 --> 00:58:36.880 there are often photographs - 530 00:58:36.920 --> 00:58:40.240 for example here, shots of the scene where your mother was found. 531 00:58:40.480 --> 00:58:43.520 I've removed them for the time being 532 00:58:43.560 --> 00:58:47.040 as I don't want them suddenly to confront you. 533 00:58:47.080 --> 00:58:50.320 That's very considerate of you. 534 00:58:50.360 --> 00:58:53.280 They do exist, but I've kept them separate. 535 00:58:53.320 --> 00:58:56.160 So, this is text describing things. 536 00:59:14.040 --> 00:59:16.600 Post-mortem... 537 00:59:19.560 --> 00:59:22.240 DEATH CERTIFICATE 538 01:00:05.080 --> 01:00:09.800 I've seen all this in my mind's eye ever since that day. 539 01:00:09.840 --> 01:00:12.520 But this is too explicit. 540 01:00:36.200 --> 01:00:40.520 - Would you show me out, please? - Of course. 541 01:01:19.520 --> 01:01:25.920 "On Monday, 2 May 1966, at 19:30 hrs, it was reported 542 01:01:25.960 --> 01:01:32.680 "that the body of a female had been found in the woodlands near Stene Farm" 543 01:01:35.760 --> 01:01:38.640 "She was concealed under dense fir foliage 544 01:01:38.680 --> 01:01:42.680 "lying on her right side, her head on a root. 545 01:01:43.560 --> 01:01:45.240 "Her head was bare. 546 01:01:45.480 --> 01:01:50.920 "However, for protection she had pulled her coat collar up over her head." 547 01:01:50.960 --> 01:01:55.200 "Documents in the handbag identified the woman 548 01:01:55.240 --> 01:01:59.280 "as Mrs Barbro Elisabeth Andrésen, 549 01:01:59.320 --> 01:02:03.080 "reported missing since October last year." 550 01:02:03.960 --> 01:02:06.800 17 October, 1962. 551 01:02:06.840 --> 01:02:08.720 SECRET... 552 01:02:08.760 --> 01:02:11.040 - Auntie here. - Hello? 553 01:02:11.080 --> 01:02:14.400 Is Annike coming over to see me on Saturday? 554 01:02:19.680 --> 01:02:23.160 Don't you think they should come over? 555 01:02:24.080 --> 01:02:27.200 You call me and ask: "How are you?" 556 01:02:27.240 --> 01:02:31.200 And: "Are the children asleep, or maybe out somewhere?" 557 01:02:31.240 --> 01:02:34.120 - And: "Could I speak to them?" - Yes? 558 01:02:35.240 --> 01:02:39.880 You could just as well speak to me, right? 559 01:02:39.920 --> 01:02:44.040 You brood too much about things. Don't complicate it all. 560 01:02:44.080 --> 01:02:48.640 - That's a ridiculous thing to say. - Saying what? 561 01:02:48.680 --> 01:02:53.520 It doesn't work like that! I can only be the way I am. 562 01:02:53.560 --> 01:02:57.200 And when people don't allow me to be myself... 563 01:02:57.240 --> 01:03:02.720 - ...it makes me strange and "wrong". - Who doesn't allow you? 564 01:03:02.760 --> 01:03:05.520 You, for example, don't let me be myself. 565 01:03:05.560 --> 01:03:10.920 - You want me to be a certain way. - I don't see what you mean at all. 566 01:03:12.920 --> 01:03:17.520 I really don't understand you today. Not at all. 567 01:03:22.160 --> 01:03:25.000 - Shall we hang up then? - Might as well. 568 01:03:25.040 --> 01:03:27.440 Okay. Bye. 569 01:03:48.640 --> 01:03:53.040 "Be still, no more harsh words. 570 01:03:53.080 --> 01:03:57.480 "There's not much left of me. Don't cry over me. 571 01:03:57.520 --> 01:04:02.960 "There's no longer any fire to put out. Don't look at me. 572 01:04:03.000 --> 01:04:07.880 "I'm about to crumble. I'll fall apart at any moment. 573 01:04:07.920 --> 01:04:11.240 "I don't want you to see me fall apart. 574 01:04:11.760 --> 01:04:17.240 "Don't cry for me. There's no fire left to put out now. 575 01:04:18.160 --> 01:04:22.040 "I've given away all I ever had. 576 01:04:22.080 --> 01:04:25.000 "I haven't kept anything to live by. 577 01:04:25.040 --> 01:04:29.640 "That's why I'm becoming more and more invisible. 578 01:04:29.680 --> 01:04:36.040 "But I'm not going to die. What remains: a door. 579 01:04:36.080 --> 01:04:41.280 "What else can I do but leave a room within myself? 580 01:04:41.320 --> 01:04:45.600 "I don't die, I just disappear. 581 01:04:45.640 --> 01:04:51.880 "Perhaps, my worry - I'll reawaken to certainty and doubt. 582 01:04:51.920 --> 01:04:56.000 "Then I will return, to look for you." 583 01:05:07.480 --> 01:05:14.040 That was probably, in a sense, her farewell letter. 584 01:05:53.880 --> 01:05:55.880 She sat in her room 585 01:05:55.920 --> 01:06:00.840 with a bottle of cheap red wine and a packet of Chesterfield in front of her. 586 01:06:00.880 --> 01:06:03.000 She chain-smoked. 587 01:06:03.040 --> 01:06:07.560 She just sat there in silence, staring out of the window, into the night. 588 01:06:10.040 --> 01:06:14.560 I can recall standing behind her. 589 01:06:14.600 --> 01:06:17.880 I remember thinking: 590 01:06:17.920 --> 01:06:20.600 "When I grow up, I'm going to save Mum." 591 01:06:37.520 --> 01:06:41.080 We don't see each other when he's... 592 01:06:42.920 --> 01:06:44.960 ...at his lowest. 593 01:06:46.960 --> 01:06:49.520 When I was a child, 594 01:06:49.560 --> 01:06:54.160 there were long periods when he didn't answer the phone. 595 01:06:54.200 --> 01:06:59.040 Though now that I'm older, he might pick up. 596 01:06:59.080 --> 01:07:02.680 But he'll tell me it's "not a good time at the moment". 597 01:07:03.880 --> 01:07:09.200 There are details about Dad's life that a child shouldn't be aware of. 598 01:07:09.440 --> 01:07:14.640 And when I was 14, or so, 599 01:07:14.680 --> 01:07:21.960 Dad started to open this door a little, and he told me things. 600 01:07:22.000 --> 01:07:25.520 I think it was around that time 601 01:07:25.560 --> 01:07:29.000 that I found out more about the Death in Venice film. 602 01:07:29.440 --> 01:07:36.360 I think a lot has to do with his mum's death. 603 01:07:39.360 --> 01:07:44.000 It makes you wonder... If she'd been alive, functioning normally, 604 01:07:44.040 --> 01:07:45.720 how would...? 605 01:07:46.720 --> 01:07:52.320 The whole Death in Venice experience probably wouldn't have hit him as hard, 606 01:07:52.360 --> 01:07:58.760 if he'd had a mum or dad he could trust - someone there for him. 607 01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:07.000 In theory, he's an amazing dad. But in practice, it just doesn't work. 608 01:08:07.040 --> 01:08:10.160 I wanted him to be there, 609 01:08:10.200 --> 01:08:15.480 to love me and play with me, the whole time, 610 01:08:15.520 --> 01:08:19.240 like any daughter would want her dad to be. 611 01:08:22.600 --> 01:08:27.560 Actually, at one juncture you seemed to have disappeared. 612 01:08:27.600 --> 01:08:30.600 We even thought you might be dead at one point. 613 01:08:34.240 --> 01:08:38.360 Today, we take great pleasure in welcoming Björn Andrésen 614 01:08:38.400 --> 01:08:41.720 for an exclusive interview for our French audience. 615 01:08:41.760 --> 01:08:47.680 You might remember him as the guy who incarnated the young Tadzio, 616 01:08:47.720 --> 01:08:51.200 in Luchino Visconti's famous film Death in Venice. 617 01:08:51.240 --> 01:08:55.240 To us, it was an almost mythical character. 618 01:08:55.280 --> 01:09:00.560 In our memories, we retain the image of this magnificent young teenage boy. 619 01:09:01.320 --> 01:09:08.640 At that point, did it contribute to a different relationship with men? 620 01:09:09.680 --> 01:09:12.480 - From my side? - Yes. 621 01:09:12.520 --> 01:09:17.240 Like the gay community, for example. Did you feel they were interested in you? 622 01:09:17.280 --> 01:09:20.520 - That they looked at you... - Oh, yes. 623 01:09:20.560 --> 01:09:26.400 That you became this myth, this symbol of male beauty. 624 01:09:26.440 --> 01:09:29.200 Well, let me start... 625 01:09:30.800 --> 01:09:34.720 What's the question? If there was any change, before or after? 626 01:09:34.760 --> 01:09:37.600 Because the gay community... 627 01:09:37.960 --> 01:09:41.880 It started there. I mean, I've been quite... 628 01:09:44.720 --> 01:09:50.360 I came here in 1976 to do a film. 629 01:09:50.400 --> 01:09:53.320 It came to nothing, but I stayed for a year. 630 01:09:53.360 --> 01:09:58.600 A Monsieur Durant, among others, paid for everything. 631 01:09:59.640 --> 01:10:04.240 He'd found me an apartment on Rue de Seine, everything arranged. 632 01:10:04.280 --> 01:10:06.560 He paid for it all. 633 01:10:07.240 --> 01:10:09.560 I must have been bloody naive, 634 01:10:09.600 --> 01:10:13.720 because it was sort of like: "Wow! Everyone's so nice." 635 01:10:20.960 --> 01:10:27.240 I received these really long, long, long love poems. 636 01:10:27.280 --> 01:10:29.960 Like "Björn, je t'aime", you know. 637 01:10:31.480 --> 01:10:35.560 Expensive lunches, expensive dinners, gifts. 638 01:10:35.600 --> 01:10:38.760 They all had really fat wallets. 639 01:10:40.840 --> 01:10:45.920 I don't think they treated me out of the kindness of a bleeding heart. 640 01:10:45.960 --> 01:10:48.480 It was rather a sense of being... 641 01:10:50.000 --> 01:10:54.320 I felt like some kind of wandering trophy. 642 01:10:55.800 --> 01:11:00.840 I was thinking, if you're in Paris for that long and they support you... 643 01:11:00.880 --> 01:11:06.400 Did you get any money? How often did you meet? 644 01:11:06.440 --> 01:11:10.960 - Money? I got weekly pocket money. - No! You're joking! 645 01:11:11.000 --> 01:11:14.240 - 500 francs. - No! 646 01:11:14.280 --> 01:11:17.680 500 francs a week in 1976? 647 01:11:18.240 --> 01:11:22.320 - About that, yes. - Do you realise how much that was? 648 01:11:23.200 --> 01:11:27.280 Maybe you were a little mascot, someone cool to be seen with - 649 01:11:27.320 --> 01:11:29.720 at Maxim's and the Lido. 650 01:11:29.760 --> 01:11:34.080 - The most beautiful boy in the world. - Yes, "le petit garçon de Mort à Venise." 651 01:11:34.120 --> 01:11:38.960 I was a sex object, or an object anyway. Big game. 652 01:11:39.880 --> 01:11:43.080 They paid for your company, as it were. 653 01:11:43.120 --> 01:11:46.800 For God's sake - I never had any money of my own, 654 01:11:46.840 --> 01:11:50.320 at least not when I was travelling round the world. 655 01:11:51.320 --> 01:11:54.200 It was so into my own ego. 656 01:11:54.240 --> 01:11:59.560 If I'd known then what I know today, I'd have said no to Paris. 657 01:12:09.160 --> 01:12:13.000 But it's of major importance, Björn... 658 01:12:15.120 --> 01:12:19.920 ...in terms of who you are today and of how you see yourself, 659 01:12:19.960 --> 01:12:22.800 and of those shattered dreams, 660 01:12:22.840 --> 01:12:26.920 and of what didn't happen, and what did. 661 01:12:28.000 --> 01:12:31.480 You're not an uncomplicated person, Björn. 662 01:12:34.880 --> 01:12:38.080 Tu es très compliqué. 663 01:12:45.320 --> 01:12:47.680 Beloved Björn... 664 01:12:51.160 --> 01:12:55.920 - The love of my life. - Do I deserve to be? 665 01:12:56.360 --> 01:12:58.520 You do. 666 01:14:00.080 --> 01:14:02.840 -Hi! -Hello, sweetie. 667 01:14:04.760 --> 01:14:07.840 - How are things? - Same as usual. 668 01:14:07.880 --> 01:14:11.200 Same as usual? Up or down? 669 01:14:11.240 --> 01:14:15.320 In need of a pee, scared of trains, lacking in strength. 670 01:14:15.360 --> 01:14:18.040 - A little... - That sounds familiar. 671 01:14:18.080 --> 01:14:22.840 Do you realise it's eleven years, this December, since I was last here? 672 01:14:22.880 --> 01:14:25.360 Don't say that! 673 01:14:26.800 --> 01:14:31.840 Has it really been that long? I mean, this place looked... 674 01:14:31.880 --> 01:14:34.920 I haven't had anyone visiting. 675 01:14:34.960 --> 01:14:37.920 Not until just over a year ago, 676 01:14:37.960 --> 01:14:42.320 when Jessica helped me clean the place up. 677 01:14:48.960 --> 01:14:51.480 All squeezed together! 678 01:14:55.120 --> 01:15:00.200 - Right, "the ugliest baby in the world." - Is it in here, under "Births"? 679 01:15:02.520 --> 01:15:04.560 - There it is! - Yup. 680 01:15:05.560 --> 01:15:09.360 "The ugliest baby in the world, our wonderful daughter." 681 01:15:10.600 --> 01:15:12.120 Thanks! 682 01:15:14.880 --> 01:15:17.280 You're content there. 683 01:15:20.680 --> 01:15:26.480 Becoming a father was the scariest thing ever. What are fathers supposed to do? 684 01:15:27.960 --> 01:15:34.680 I'd got into drama school a few months earlier. 685 01:15:38.360 --> 01:15:41.520 I felt I had to do the best I possibly could. 686 01:15:41.560 --> 01:15:44.840 And my biggest wish was 687 01:15:44.880 --> 01:15:51.240 that you wouldn't have to go through what I went through as a child. 688 01:15:52.680 --> 01:15:57.120 For a family to work, you need to be two people. 689 01:15:57.640 --> 01:16:02.040 That's where it fell apart. Too much alcohol and... 690 01:16:02.080 --> 01:16:06.840 But I think I'm a healthier adult 691 01:16:06.880 --> 01:16:10.320 due to your living apart, than if you'd lived together. 692 01:16:15.200 --> 01:16:18.120 - Elvin's arrived here. - Yes. 693 01:16:18.160 --> 01:16:21.040 That's when we became "the Good family". 694 01:16:21.080 --> 01:16:23.560 - We became "the Good family"? - Yes. 695 01:16:25.960 --> 01:16:32.240 When I was a child, even into my teens, you often said, very often: 696 01:16:32.280 --> 01:16:37.640 "If there's ever anything you want to know, just ask me." 697 01:16:37.680 --> 01:16:41.280 When you were drunk, too... It was so cryptic - 698 01:16:41.320 --> 01:16:44.760 I never knew what questions you meant. 699 01:16:45.240 --> 01:16:49.760 Was it that you wanted me to know what had happened? 700 01:16:50.680 --> 01:16:53.560 I didn't want you to be lonely. 701 01:16:54.800 --> 01:16:58.920 Also, whatever you wanted to know... 702 01:17:01.120 --> 01:17:08.560 ...I'd tell you, if not the truth, then at least my side of the story. 703 01:17:10.720 --> 01:17:13.320 You're so beautiful! 704 01:17:18.920 --> 01:17:21.400 Sorry. Big boys don't cry. 705 01:17:21.440 --> 01:17:26.520 You cry almost every time I see you. Something always moves you. 706 01:17:26.560 --> 01:17:31.000 - Yes, I'm a sensitive bugger. - Yes, be one then! 707 01:17:34.440 --> 01:17:36.880 - What said I? - "What said I?" 708 01:17:38.560 --> 01:17:41.200 Do you know something, Mummy? 709 01:17:41.920 --> 01:17:47.880 Elvin died. He's in the flowers. In the sky. 710 01:17:47.920 --> 01:17:50.520 In the picture. 711 01:17:50.560 --> 01:17:53.920 In the Lego. 712 01:17:56.080 --> 01:17:58.560 And it all happened at once. 713 01:18:00.920 --> 01:18:03.920 - Do you find it hard? - Mm-hmm. 714 01:18:05.000 --> 01:18:08.960 - I took your knife. - Yes, you did. 715 01:18:11.080 --> 01:18:13.880 "And it all happened at once." 716 01:18:16.680 --> 01:18:23.320 It was 11 August, 1987, the day after Robine's third birthday. 717 01:18:24.200 --> 01:18:27.240 Almost three months after Elvin died. 718 01:18:37.360 --> 01:18:40.680 I'd been out. 719 01:18:40.720 --> 01:18:43.080 It was 17 May. 720 01:18:45.080 --> 01:18:50.520 I'd had a late night out, and I come home, and I fall asleep. 721 01:18:53.600 --> 01:18:59.400 She's taking Robine to kindergarten. 722 01:18:59.440 --> 01:19:03.440 And she lays him next to me in bed. 723 01:19:04.920 --> 01:19:10.040 I've had far, far too little sleep. 724 01:19:10.080 --> 01:19:13.160 And I'm as drunk as hell. 725 01:19:21.920 --> 01:19:26.480 He's lying next to me, and I fall asleep. 726 01:19:28.920 --> 01:19:31.520 Passed out. 727 01:19:32.720 --> 01:19:38.240 I'm woken up by a scream, and it's her. 728 01:19:47.360 --> 01:19:51.160 I can see him lying there. His lips are blue. 729 01:19:53.560 --> 01:19:59.000 Then we desperately, and in vain, try to... 730 01:20:03.360 --> 01:20:05.200 ...resuscitate him. 731 01:20:13.640 --> 01:20:18.960 Their diagnosis is sudden infant death syndrome. 732 01:20:20.000 --> 01:20:23.320 But my diagnosis is lack of love. 733 01:20:28.360 --> 01:20:32.320 I wasn't up to it. And he had to take far too much responsibility. 734 01:20:32.360 --> 01:20:38.560 On his tiny shoulders, he bore the whole of our family's happiness. 735 01:20:41.880 --> 01:20:44.520 But things gave way, with him. 736 01:21:00.280 --> 01:21:07.120 Robine didn't only lose her little brother. She lost her father as well. 737 01:21:08.200 --> 01:21:12.800 I descended into depression and alcohol. 738 01:21:14.520 --> 01:21:16.240 Self-destruction... 739 01:21:17.560 --> 01:21:20.440 ...in all ways imaginable. 740 01:21:20.480 --> 01:21:25.680 It was an ego trip. "Poor me, me, me" - I, me, mine. 741 01:21:28.640 --> 01:21:31.480 And then you're back to being a child. 742 01:21:36.560 --> 01:21:38.800 A child can't look after a child. 743 01:21:44.760 --> 01:21:48.360 We had eight months together. 744 01:22:01.680 --> 01:22:04.480 He would have been... How old? 745 01:22:04.520 --> 01:22:07.480 He would have been 32 today. 746 01:22:11.200 --> 01:22:13.560 I wonder how he'd have sounded... 747 01:22:16.560 --> 01:22:19.880 ...what kind of voice he would've had. 748 01:22:24.080 --> 01:22:26.520 What about his expression? 749 01:22:30.720 --> 01:22:36.000 And that would all have depended on how I'd acted as a father. 750 01:22:39.600 --> 01:22:42.520 Because he was my boy. 751 01:22:48.600 --> 01:22:51.480 But the fact is, I wasn't there. 752 01:22:51.520 --> 01:22:57.520 If I hadn't gone out, if I'd behaved like an adult instead, he would be alive. 753 01:22:57.560 --> 01:23:02.880 If I'd taken my responsibility seriously, he'd still be alive today. 754 01:23:06.480 --> 01:23:09.840 But everything was wrong from the start. 755 01:23:09.880 --> 01:23:13.720 My life. Her life. 756 01:23:15.920 --> 01:23:18.800 What's really insane is that you get used to it. 757 01:23:20.560 --> 01:23:23.280 You don't expect... 758 01:23:24.480 --> 01:23:27.280 ...that much from life. 759 01:23:28.200 --> 01:23:32.560 I don't really know how to express it. When you've lost so much, 760 01:23:32.600 --> 01:23:39.360 it somehow, in its own special way, makes life easier to live. 761 01:23:42.680 --> 01:23:46.560 Okay - I missed this, I lost that. Okay. 762 01:23:47.960 --> 01:23:49.920 I've lost so much else. 763 01:24:12.920 --> 01:24:17.520 Elvin: 3 months. Robine: 2 years, 4 months. 764 01:24:17.560 --> 01:24:22.720 Sanna: 24 years, 9 months. Björn: 31 years, 11 months. 765 01:24:44.920 --> 01:24:47.240 Have you ever lain on the grass 766 01:24:47.280 --> 01:24:51.440 and imagined you're not looking into space, 767 01:24:51.480 --> 01:24:55.880 but you're observing what's down below? 768 01:25:00.960 --> 01:25:04.080 It's a pretty awe-inspiring feeling. 769 01:25:04.120 --> 01:25:09.680 I mean, when we look up at the stars, what direction are we looking in? 770 01:25:09.720 --> 01:25:16.120 Are we looking outwards, inwards, upwards, or downwards? 771 01:25:26.880 --> 01:25:30.560 I mean, I'm still around, I'm sitting here, 772 01:25:30.600 --> 01:25:36.160 and everything worldly is extremely uncertain 773 01:25:36.200 --> 01:25:38.640 unless one has one's faith. 774 01:25:52.360 --> 01:25:57.880 When I look at the screen test, 775 01:25:57.920 --> 01:26:01.080 shot at his audition for Death in Venice, 776 01:26:01.600 --> 01:26:04.320 I find it painful. 777 01:26:04.360 --> 01:26:10.280 I can deal with what it all resulted in, and with the person he's become today. 778 01:26:10.320 --> 01:26:18.320 But witnessing it there on film - that crucial turning point... 779 01:26:18.360 --> 01:26:23.320 When I see how very ill at ease he feels, 780 01:26:23.360 --> 01:26:27.120 and, knowing things that other people watching this don't know, 781 01:26:27.160 --> 01:26:29.600 about the person he is... 782 01:26:29.640 --> 01:26:34.040 We're talking about an incredibly sensitive boy, really shy, 783 01:26:34.080 --> 01:26:36.720 who doesn't even want to be there. 784 01:26:36.760 --> 01:26:41.840 Then he's suddenly supposed to pose without his shirt. 785 01:26:41.880 --> 01:26:44.480 Nudity to him isn't... 786 01:26:46.600 --> 01:26:49.880 He doesn't want to be naked, doesn't want to take his clothes off. 787 01:26:49.920 --> 01:26:52.640 That was painful to watch. 788 01:26:52.680 --> 01:26:57.800 That's where I want to go back in time and ask his granny what she's up to: 789 01:26:57.840 --> 01:27:01.080 "Stop it! Leave the lad alone." 790 01:27:02.640 --> 01:27:05.880 It's wrong. You don't do that to children. 791 01:27:33.080 --> 01:27:35.760 Tadzio...? Tadzio! 792 01:28:09.600 --> 01:28:13.680 "Be still, no more harsh words. 793 01:28:14.840 --> 01:28:17.640 "There's not much left of me. 794 01:28:21.000 --> 01:28:24.200 "Don't cry over me. 795 01:28:24.240 --> 01:28:27.720 "There's no longer any fire to put out. 796 01:28:29.560 --> 01:28:35.280 "I no longer have a sense of what I am and what I'm not. 797 01:28:38.600 --> 01:28:43.200 "I look around. Is that me? 798 01:28:44.120 --> 01:28:45.640 "Or that?" 799 01:28:45.680 --> 01:28:47.440 Tadzio! 800 01:28:53.960 --> 01:28:57.640 "I'm becoming more and more invisible. 801 01:28:57.680 --> 01:29:00.520 "I've given away all I ever had. 802 01:29:03.360 --> 01:29:05.560 "But I'm not going to die. 803 01:29:08.440 --> 01:29:11.240 "What remains: a door. 804 01:29:12.720 --> 01:29:16.680 "I don't die, I just disappear. 805 01:29:17.960 --> 01:29:21.000 "Maybe, I'll reawaken. 806 01:29:22.520 --> 01:29:26.680 "Then I will return to look for you."