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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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[tense music playing]
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[narrator] Suffering has been
stronger than all other teaching
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and has taught me to understand
where your heart used to be.
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I have been bent and broken,
but I hope into a better shape.
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[distant siren blaring]
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[medic] 1-2-X, I need a
notification to hospital 07, please?
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It might be a COVID patient.
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I have vital signs,
when you're ready.
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Where's PD? We're
gonna need a transport.
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And I didn't get the first
name, last name or anything.
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[medic 2] I need you
to lift his head, Dev.
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[medic 1] Where're you going,
buddy? You can't go into the hospital.
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No, no, no, no, no,
there's no one in the--
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Nobody in the ambulance,
no one at the hospital.
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Sorry, there's no one allowed
in the ambulance.
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Can I have a VGL real fast?
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Blood pressure 110/16, heart rate
of 122, seven to eight minute ETA.
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[serene music playing]
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You become a healthcare worker to try
to make a difference in some capacity.
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There's an end goal
to what we do.
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And it's to help people.
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[medic 2] One of those weeks,
it was just like...
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there was no light, there
was no hope. There was no...
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It was very hard to come to work
and perform a job knowing that
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the chances of us even doing our
best, was not even good enough.
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[reporter] Across the world,
the corona virus pandemic
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has now killed
more than 10,000 people.
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In Iraq, it is killing
one person every 10 minutes.
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[Dennis Charney] I've been
a doctor for over 40 years,
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and I had never seen
anything like it.
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[reporter 2]
As stock markets fall,
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cases are spreading further and further
from the original outbreak in China.
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This was the worst that I had
ever thought we needed to plan for.
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[reporter 3] The death poll in Italy is
now higher than anywhere else in the world.
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Countries around the world
are making contingency plans
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for a full-blown pandemic
caused by Corona.
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[reporter 4] The CDC is confirming the
first case of a new and deadly corona virus.
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[man] That's when it became real that
we had the first case in New York City.
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[man 2] When it hit in March,
it was like a tsunami.
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[reporter 5] A quarter of
the world's population is now
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living under some form
of lockdown.
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We had days' worth of PPE.
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So, we had to send planes to
China to go get the equipment.
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The simple thing was take
care of the front line, save lives.
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The societal repercussions
are just mind-blowing.
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[reporter 6] ...territories
have been asked to stay...
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And, suddenly, this place that is so
vibrant, right, so vibrant, shutdown.
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Everybody would leave each shift burdened
with the ones that we couldn't save
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because there were so many.
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[reporter 7] Central Park field hospital
opens as New York City hospitals
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reach capacity.
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[reporter 8] New York State
is the epicenter...
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[man 3] I would ask our doctors
and nurses, "How are you doing this?"
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And they would say, "This
what I was trained to do."
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"This is why I became a nurse,"
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"This is why I became a doctor."
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We work 20 hours a day.
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You were just on
a mission to help save lives.
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[slow music playing]
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- Right there. See that heart?
- Yeah.
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That's what
your heart looks like.
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It doesn't-- it doesn't look like
this. This like how we draw hearts,
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but really inside your body there,
that's what a real heart looks like.
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I didn't see her for many days
during the pandemic,
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especially towards the peak.
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[laughing]
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I chose providing
care to strangers
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over being home with my family.
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Those are your lungs.
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Why do you think we can't go
to the hospital to visit anymore?
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Because of COVID.
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What would happen
if he came in now?
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- Get sick.
- You might get sick, right?
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From day one, we have told
her all about what's going on.
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And I think the most important
thing that we wanted to impart to her
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was that I had a duty
and a responsibility
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to go to the hospital every day and
try to make as many of those patients
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better as possible.
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You did it! High-five.
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Yes!
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[Gian] It was in the first six weeks,
I had, maybe, three or four days off.
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Those became the points
of, kind of, real reconnection.
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And I remember Savreen
saying to us...
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"We're playing like a family."
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And it was this,
sort of, sense of,
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"Yeah, we've been a family
all along in my mind."
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But something was lost
in that time, for her.
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It was quite traumatic, not just
for the physicians and nurses,
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but everybody who works
in the emergency department.
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Our technicians
and our medical assistants,
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they all came to work everyday
knowing that they themselves were at risk.
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I'm a patient transporter
for Mount Sinai Morningside.
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We transport patients to and
from the floors, the test sites.
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We got our first COVID patient
in March.
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Within a matter of days, it was
just, like, the numbers were crazy.
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It was, like,
the start of it all.
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I'm working,
working on my ceiling.
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Just gonna paint some clouds.
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Nice sky, some stars,
see how it goes.
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You know, surviving
in this city is hard.
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Surviving during
a pandemic is harder.
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You got to find the things in
life that you can hold on to.
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The people in life
that you can hold on to.
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For me, it's my family,
my friends.
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Yo, it's hot.
I'm gonna melt away.
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So many people have been, like,
baking bread and getting creative at home.
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But I've been freaking working
harder than I've ever worked in my life.
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And so, like, I didn't experience
quarantine life the way people...
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the way people really
are talking about it,
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you know,
it's just-- it's so weird.
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Like, What do you mean,
banana bread. What?
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All right, babe, I love you.
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Bye, Paul. Bye, guys.
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[Jessica] So, it was March 17th.
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We were ramping up, you know,
we were having emergency meetings
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and converting all of our rooms
to negative-pressure rooms.
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There was an intensity I
had not felt before and it was...
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later in the afternoon when we received
our second COVID patient into the ICU,
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and Larry was awake
and alert calling my name,
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and communicating with me
and asking me to help him breathe.
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I was going in the wrong
direction. And so I turned around
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and she came toward me and she
had her name was there, Jessica.
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I said, "Oh, Jessica. Our oldest
daughter's named Jessica."
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And she goes,
"Oh, he's right over here."
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And she goes, "Are you
Mrs. Kelly?" I said, "Yes."
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He was in the glass.
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And he had this stuff on him.
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You could see that he had...
his beard was growing,
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and, uh, it was awful...
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to watch him like that.
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And, uh...
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Jessica was there and she was the
IC admitting nurse when he came in.
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And I said, "Oh, is he flirting and joking
with you, like he does with everybody?"
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She goes, "No, he was scared."
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And I said, "Oh...
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That's not usual."
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He kept saying to me, "Jessica,
are you going to help me breathe?
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Jessica, are you going
to help me breathe?"
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And that just hit home with me
because it was, like, we were his lifeline.
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I told him, "Of course, we're
going to help you breathe."
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And he had so many questions about, you
know, "Jessica, what are you doing to me?
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Jessica, why so much blood?"
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And I remember knocking on the
door and going like this, you know,
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before I left. I said,
"Hang in there tonight."
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And two days later, I came
back from having, you know,
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two shifts off,
and, um, he was intubated.
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He was on life-sustaining drips.
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He was sedated,
he was paralyzed.
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He needed medication
to support his blood pressure.
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And, um, he looked really bad,
you know.
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He looked critically,
gravely ill.
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[Dawn] He had seizures,
he had infections...
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[Jessica] He had a stroke, he had cerebral
edema and he had brain hemorrhages.
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His prognosis
was extremely poor.
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It was awful. It was awful.
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It was awful.
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It was terrible.
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But I didn't, I didn't allow
myself to really accept it.
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I really didn't.
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He was the first person I saw
deteriorate from COVID, right, so fast,
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and that got real.
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[tense music playing]
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[woman] Oh, my God.
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[woman 2] He's a
COVID-positive patient.
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[woman] We're gonna move
really fast, okay?
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[woman 2] Got what
you need to do?
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He's on every drug
that we could give him.
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[woman 3] It's the first time
somebody died when I'm here.
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[woman 4] COVID is in the bag.
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[overlapping medical chatter]
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How low did she go?
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55/53.
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She died?
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He's COVID-positive.
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I need a doctor over here.
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Can somebody get me help?
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[overlapping chattering stops]
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[man speaking]
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[Judith Aberg] We all have
lots of viruses in our bodies.
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Coronavirus, it's one of
the most common causes
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of what we call the common cold.
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But it's a little bit different
than other coronaviruses.
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Other coronaviruses just seem
to affect the upper airway.
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Whereas, corona,
besides affecting the lungs,
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likes to go to all parts of the
body, so the virus affects all organs,
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and that's what's unique
about COVID.
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There was an exponential increase
in deaths that occurred, like that.
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[Miriam Merad speaking]
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People innovated,
people thought out of the box.
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We blurred the lines
and hierarchies between nurses
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and respiratory
therapy, transporters.
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Everyone stepped out of their
roles and came together and said,
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"This is what we should do."
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[Miriam speaking]
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[Mirna] Knowing that if we
had more time with patients,
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00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,393
if they had come in
a little bit more staggered,
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if we hadn't had...
15 new patients a day,
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then, maybe, we could have had
more time to think through their care,
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more time to spend talking to them
before they had a breathing tube placed.
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Hi. Oh, good to see you. Hi!
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00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,832
I'm Dr. Mohanraj,
just to remind you
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00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:38,414
you're in the intensive
care unit. It's Thursday.
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00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:44,219
When we allow medical care
to devolve just into facts
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and the application
of science...
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00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:47,979
Hi, good morning.
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00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:51,783
I'm sorry to wake you up.
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...those are things that
sound and, quite frankly, feel,
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not just to the physician
but to the patient as robotic.
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00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:01,025
Hi, Mr. Gonzalez,
you look much better today.
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00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:03,639
Feel your belly.
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00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,976
If we lack that connection with our patients,
I think, we're failing them in a way.
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00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,311
When we are adequately
covering her pain,
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00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,580
I think the respiratory status
gets better
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and also the heart rate
comes down as well.
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At times, it can feel like you're
just trying to do your very best
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for the patient knowing
that you have to move on
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00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,082
and take care of the next
patient, the next and the next.
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00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:30,332
By nature of being in the ICU and,
particularly, being intubated on a ventilator,
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it's a very
dehumanizing experience.
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You quite, literally,
lose your voice.
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You're not able to tell people who you
are and what your likes and dislikes are
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00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:43,812
and how you want to be treated
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00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:47,950
and how you want to play
your role in the story of your life
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00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:50,675
and the story about
your disease as well.
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[Deep Patadia] Good morning,
is this Gloria?
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00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,113
[Gloria on phone]
Yeah, this is her speaking.
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00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,981
Hi, Gloria, my name
is Dr. Patadia.
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00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:59,850
I'm calling from the Mount
Sinai Morningside ICU.
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00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:04,566
The reason why I'm calling is because I work
in concert with the medical ICU team here,
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00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:09,527
and they've been giving you regular updates
with regards to Gael's medical care.
233
00:17:09,594 --> 00:17:12,163
But the reason I'm calling is because
we also want to get to know him on
234
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:13,776
a more of a personal level.
235
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,667
So is it okay if I ask you a few
questions about his personal life?
236
00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:18,136
[Gloria on phone] Sure, sure.
237
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:22,006
We drew concepts from a field of
medicine called Narrative Medicine.
238
00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:25,877
Ensuring that a patient's
story, and who they are
239
00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:27,812
is at the center of their care,
240
00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:30,548
and I just thought, why aren't
we doing this for all of our patients
241
00:17:30,615 --> 00:17:33,785
who are in the ICU on a
ventilator and can't talk to us?
242
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:39,424
I feel like seeing these stories,
everybody can read it on the door.
243
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:41,559
You know, we post them
here right outside the door,
244
00:17:41,626 --> 00:17:45,541
physicians, nurses, respiratory
therapists, environmental services,
245
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,900
everybody who enters can say,
"Oh, this is who this patient is."
246
00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:53,816
They're just not the patient in
bed 23, 28 whatever bed this is.
247
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:58,042
And I think it's really changed the face
of how we take care of these patients.
248
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:01,957
Now, what would Gael say are
things in life that he cherishes?
249
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:05,783
And particular relationships,
hobbies, religion...
250
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:09,098
[Mirna] We make sure the
center of Gael's story is Gael.
251
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:13,791
And that everything else
that we do for him and to him
252
00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:19,508
is in service of him and what
he envisions his life to be.
253
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:25,647
Our patients have never and will never
be this isolated again in their lives,
254
00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:30,208
and we felt we could make a really
huge difference for the patients, families,
255
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,143
and really for the health care
workers as well.
256
00:18:32,210 --> 00:18:35,591
You know, there was just so much moral
distress floating around at that time.
257
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:40,485
And this was something to, kind of,
bring us back to the soul of what we do.
258
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:42,664
[Deep] So we just spoke with
Gloria, his sister, who gave us
259
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:44,889
a lot of information about Gael.
260
00:18:44,956 --> 00:18:47,158
So, Gael's preferred language
is English.
261
00:18:47,225 --> 00:18:48,826
He has a lot of people
that are close to him,
262
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:51,963
his stepfather,
mother, sister, brother.
263
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:56,478
Grew up in Washington Heights in this
area but then move to the Upper West Side.
264
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:59,148
His most important job
was making music.
265
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:01,839
He cherishes his friends,
he loves hip-hop music.
266
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:06,177
How he would describe a good day
would be chill, relaxed, laid-back...
267
00:19:06,244 --> 00:19:09,780
I can't even find the right word
to tell you what it felt like to look
268
00:19:09,848 --> 00:19:11,360
at these patients,
269
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:15,964
and it was the very first picture that
we hung up of a middle-aged gentleman
270
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,901
who the narrative
was obtained by the follow-up,
271
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,637
I got the picture and I put it
on the window of the room
272
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,328
and I looked at the patient
in the bed and I started to cry.
273
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:32,003
There was not a lot of time to feel
all the things we would normally feel,
274
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:35,384
um, when you would experience
so much death.
275
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:39,054
There wasn't a lot of time to
unpack that, to process all of that.
276
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:43,681
When we kind of realized that
we can revive this intervention
277
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:47,151
and start knowing our patients
278
00:19:47,219 --> 00:19:50,221
and sharing that knowledge with
everybody who would enter their room
279
00:19:50,288 --> 00:19:53,624
or walk by that room,
it saved us, it saved me.
280
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:56,994
I guess, I should speak for
myself, it saved me a little bit.
281
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,175
- [beeping]
- [tense music playing]
282
00:20:15,513 --> 00:20:18,493
Yesterday, a patient died.
283
00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:22,364
Every single essential worker
in the hospital experienced
284
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:25,823
a level of trauma
that was unknown.
285
00:20:26,958 --> 00:20:28,559
It was haunting.
286
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:34,098
It happened over
and over and over.
287
00:20:45,076 --> 00:20:49,057
In very short order, we were
overwhelmed at each one of our hospitals
288
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,881
with patients
that were sick and dying.
289
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:54,819
And you were put in a position
to come up with a policy where
290
00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:57,132
family couldn't visit with them,
291
00:20:57,156 --> 00:21:00,625
and they couldn't stay with
them during their last hours.
292
00:21:00,692 --> 00:21:07,732
That's one very small example of
how this really was a new dimension.
293
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:09,033
- Hi.
- Hi, how're you?
294
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:11,213
Good. I'm here to see
James Colon.
295
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:13,415
Yes, you are Veronica.
296
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,206
- Yeah, okay, so you're going to sign in.
- Okay.
297
00:21:21,179 --> 00:21:23,281
- Is he sleeping?
- He's watching the TV. Look...
298
00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:26,150
He can turn his head sometimes.
299
00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:28,185
[exclaiming in grief]
300
00:21:28,253 --> 00:21:29,631
Seeing him watching the TV
is hard, right?
301
00:21:29,655 --> 00:21:31,188
- Yeah.
- I know. It's the first time you've seen him.
302
00:21:31,256 --> 00:21:32,123
[Veronica crying]
303
00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:37,061
- To see him so...
- I know.
304
00:21:37,128 --> 00:21:39,130
- He looks very different, right?
- Yes.
305
00:21:39,197 --> 00:21:40,642
I know.
Well, see, we have his...
306
00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:42,066
[Veronica] Yeah.
That's exactly...
307
00:21:42,133 --> 00:21:44,046
- [Jessica] I know. Are you the one that sent it?
- Yes.
308
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:45,736
Let's see what he does
when you go in.
309
00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:48,917
And then what I suggest is
hold his hands, if you want.
310
00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:50,185
- Okay.
- Okay?
311
00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:52,943
But, like, keep it simple
at first. Let him take it all in.
312
00:21:55,347 --> 00:21:56,981
[Veronica] We thought
we were losing him, you know.
313
00:21:57,749 --> 00:21:59,194
[Jessica] Rightly so.
314
00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:02,553
I mean when he started actually
following commands, we were all like...
315
00:22:03,288 --> 00:22:05,122
like, it was a miracle.
316
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,537
You're gonna come in this way.
317
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:13,675
He actually had the
coronavirus the first week in April
318
00:22:13,699 --> 00:22:16,167
and was admitted
Easter Sunday in the ICU
319
00:22:16,234 --> 00:22:18,703
and on a ventilator sedated.
He's been here 90 days.
320
00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:24,442
Hi, Uncle Jimmy, it's Veronica.
321
00:22:24,509 --> 00:22:26,177
Do you recognize me?
322
00:22:26,244 --> 00:22:27,778
Is that okay
if I hold your hand?
323
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:34,496
Is it easier if I go on
this side?
324
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:35,986
I'm going to come
on this side, okay?
325
00:22:42,660 --> 00:22:44,795
First, I want to tell you
how much I love you.
326
00:22:46,398 --> 00:22:48,733
You know,
you're considered a miracle.
327
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,601
You are something else, Jimmy.
328
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:54,004
I had some news the other day.
329
00:22:54,072 --> 00:22:56,273
I think you'll be very happy.
330
00:22:56,341 --> 00:22:58,809
You're going to be
a great uncle.
331
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,344
I'm four months pregnant.
332
00:23:01,479 --> 00:23:02,346
[giggles]
333
00:23:02,414 --> 00:23:03,881
I see you smiling.
334
00:23:03,948 --> 00:23:06,550
You know, after I got pregnant,
335
00:23:06,618 --> 00:23:10,888
I thought you kept telling me
for so many years
336
00:23:10,955 --> 00:23:13,190
that you want me to be a mommy.
337
00:23:13,759 --> 00:23:15,059
I was so scared.
338
00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:18,540
But now I'm so grateful.
339
00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:21,109
And I'm so happy and excited.
340
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:22,933
Do you want to see my baby bump?
341
00:23:27,238 --> 00:23:30,307
I have a little baby bump.
You can't really see it,
342
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:34,556
but it looks like
I ate too much cake.
343
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:37,448
So, I'm four months,
the baby's due in January.
344
00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:40,762
And it's a little girl.
345
00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:43,421
She's gonna be a sassy
little girl with curly hair. [laughs]
346
00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:49,104
And I'm so grateful that you told me so
many years, "You should be a mommy."
347
00:23:49,128 --> 00:23:51,862
And I was scared, and
Uncle Jimmy, I'm so happy
348
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:54,331
that I'm going to have a baby.
349
00:23:54,399 --> 00:23:57,045
And I'm so happy that you're
going to be a part of her life.
350
00:23:57,069 --> 00:23:59,670
Because all this time that
we haven't spoken to you,
351
00:23:59,737 --> 00:24:03,585
I was thinking how lucky I am
to have had you in my life
352
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:07,011
and my little baby girl is gonna
have the same, she's gonna have you.
353
00:24:07,812 --> 00:24:09,413
I love you, Uncle Jimmy.
354
00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:11,949
I love you so much.
355
00:24:12,016 --> 00:24:15,597
To see the life and the emotions
and the nodding and the "no,"
356
00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:17,621
it's like he's here, you know.
357
00:24:17,689 --> 00:24:19,935
[Jennifer] You can actually
hold your gown.
358
00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:22,560
And just pull it off,
like, really hard.
359
00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:26,430
Yup. And then, kinda... Yup.
360
00:24:26,498 --> 00:24:29,077
[Jessica] So you felt like he
understood what you were saying?
361
00:24:29,101 --> 00:24:33,637
More than I expected. I saw him
smile. He did... as much as he could.
362
00:24:33,705 --> 00:24:38,086
And I said, I'm so excited that
you're going to be a part of her...
363
00:24:38,110 --> 00:24:39,243
and, uh, it's a little girl.
364
00:24:39,310 --> 00:24:41,556
- Oh, congratulations.
- I could see he was so happy,
365
00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:44,448
which made me understand
that he understood. Yes.
366
00:24:45,116 --> 00:24:46,428
I'm so glad I came.
367
00:24:46,452 --> 00:24:48,163
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, I'd give you a hug but--
368
00:24:48,187 --> 00:24:50,298
-You know how it goes.
-I know. It's okay. I feel your heart.
369
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:51,500
- [both laugh]
- You feel my heart.
370
00:24:51,524 --> 00:24:53,969
They didn't even think he
was gonna make it, you know.
371
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:55,726
And I know
he's not out of the woods.
372
00:24:55,793 --> 00:24:57,172
It still could take a turn,
373
00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:59,363
so I'm being cautiously hopeful.
374
00:25:06,538 --> 00:25:10,986
We wanted to learn as much
as possible about this virus.
375
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:14,345
How it was causing illness
in patients.
376
00:25:14,412 --> 00:25:16,191
How it was killing the patients.
377
00:25:16,215 --> 00:25:17,792
So that we could get a clue
378
00:25:17,816 --> 00:25:20,684
on the best way
to treat these patients.
379
00:25:20,752 --> 00:25:25,823
Because it was a new disease,
we had to start from scratch.
380
00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:30,561
So we have
a lot of different procedures
381
00:25:30,628 --> 00:25:33,808
that we can use
for patients with COVID.
382
00:25:33,832 --> 00:25:36,044
Mechanical ventilation.
383
00:25:36,068 --> 00:25:37,635
Blood pressure medications like
384
00:25:37,702 --> 00:25:39,503
the suppressive medications,
385
00:25:39,571 --> 00:25:43,541
anticoagulation therapy,
sedatives, paralytics,
386
00:25:44,309 --> 00:25:46,043
steroids.
387
00:25:46,110 --> 00:25:52,227
Steroids are medication that can be used
to suppress the white blood cell response
388
00:25:52,251 --> 00:25:53,450
to an infection.
389
00:25:53,518 --> 00:25:58,233
COVID produces an abnormal
white blood cell response.
390
00:25:58,257 --> 00:26:00,635
And so, using a steroid
391
00:26:00,659 --> 00:26:03,460
that reduces
the amount of inflammation
392
00:26:03,528 --> 00:26:06,441
can we very beneficial
for patients that have COVID.
393
00:26:06,465 --> 00:26:09,333
And our treatments
for patients have improved
394
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,402
and less people are dying now
395
00:26:11,469 --> 00:26:14,249
partly because of all the
efforts that we have put forth
396
00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:15,139
as a team.
397
00:26:25,016 --> 00:26:26,450
- Sorry.
- [man] All good.
398
00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:45,347
Hello. Good morning,
how are you?
399
00:26:45,371 --> 00:26:48,906
Patrick, we're wondering
are CRRTs one-to-one?
400
00:26:49,841 --> 00:26:52,276
Jan, you're gonna have
22 and 24.
401
00:26:53,244 --> 00:26:54,356
She's on BiPap now.
402
00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:57,414
[nurse] And she's on BiPap...
403
00:26:59,317 --> 00:27:00,284
Hi, baby.
404
00:27:01,919 --> 00:27:02,820
Any change?
405
00:27:04,255 --> 00:27:05,522
[nurse speaking indistinctly]
406
00:27:05,590 --> 00:27:07,524
Is she negative for COVID?
407
00:27:07,592 --> 00:27:08,492
I think so.
408
00:27:10,061 --> 00:27:11,028
Okay.
409
00:27:13,331 --> 00:27:16,911
One of our colleagues
had just contracted it
410
00:27:16,935 --> 00:27:19,470
and, you know,
was transferred into the ICU.
411
00:27:21,005 --> 00:27:22,940
I got a phone call yesterday
at home, I was off,
412
00:27:23,007 --> 00:27:24,786
that he was with us.
413
00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:29,190
And so, I promised his family that I
would come in and check on him and...
414
00:27:29,214 --> 00:27:30,859
[blowing kisses]
415
00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:32,460
- He's much better.
- I know.
416
00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:33,684
And it's been real scary
417
00:27:33,751 --> 00:27:35,330
watching patients
go through corona.
418
00:27:35,354 --> 00:27:37,421
It's a little bit more personal
419
00:27:37,488 --> 00:27:39,200
when it's one of your own.
420
00:27:39,224 --> 00:27:42,559
This would be the first frontline
worker that is here with us.
421
00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:46,764
[exhales deeply]
422
00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:48,343
So, Mohammad and I are friends.
423
00:27:48,367 --> 00:27:51,502
We know each other because
he works in my position
424
00:27:51,569 --> 00:27:53,771
in the emergency room and...
425
00:27:53,838 --> 00:27:55,773
I wouldn't say
we started out as friends.
426
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,352
[laughs]
427
00:27:57,376 --> 00:27:59,810
But I think over the years,
that trust grew.
428
00:28:01,312 --> 00:28:03,380
He's also an ED nurse,
429
00:28:03,448 --> 00:28:08,163
and I think he didn't see some
of the success cases that we saw.
430
00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:10,432
So he only saw devastation.
431
00:28:10,456 --> 00:28:13,857
And that's probably what's
just embedded in his mind.
432
00:28:13,925 --> 00:28:15,192
Hi, how are you?
433
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,063
You know Mohammad
is in there, right?
434
00:28:19,130 --> 00:28:20,764
- Yeah, where is he?
- He's in 15.
435
00:28:22,067 --> 00:28:24,134
He's been here a long time.
436
00:28:24,202 --> 00:28:26,070
Some of us
are like family to him
437
00:28:26,137 --> 00:28:30,719
and he... doesn't want some
of the nurses to take care of him
438
00:28:30,743 --> 00:28:33,143
in case he dies and, um...
439
00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:35,045
And he wouldn't
want us to have that guilt.
440
00:28:37,615 --> 00:28:38,449
Hey.
441
00:28:39,550 --> 00:28:41,218
I've been crying all day
with him.
442
00:28:42,087 --> 00:28:43,020
[laughs nervously]
443
00:28:43,087 --> 00:28:44,421
- How's he?
- He's okay.
444
00:28:44,489 --> 00:28:47,602
He's just emotional. We just
lost it together this morning
445
00:28:47,626 --> 00:28:49,760
because it's so close to home.
446
00:28:49,827 --> 00:28:51,940
- I know.
- Do you want to go in or you just wanna wave?
447
00:28:51,964 --> 00:28:53,230
- I just want to wave.
- [Jessica] Okay.
448
00:28:54,298 --> 00:28:56,700
I'm reassuring him
that he's not gonna die.
449
00:28:56,734 --> 00:29:01,972
And I've said that about
other people but this virus kills.
450
00:29:02,039 --> 00:29:04,575
We don't understand
why it takes a certain person
451
00:29:04,642 --> 00:29:06,343
and it doesn't
take someone else.
452
00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:10,147
It just totally astonished me.
453
00:29:19,323 --> 00:29:21,658
[Dennis] There was
an acceleration of patients.
454
00:29:22,794 --> 00:29:23,660
[siren wailing]
455
00:29:28,633 --> 00:29:30,067
You didn't realize
what was coming.
456
00:29:33,338 --> 00:29:34,916
We lost a lot of lives.
457
00:29:34,940 --> 00:29:36,340
And we're gonna lose more.
458
00:29:36,407 --> 00:29:39,409
Our healthcare workers are gonna
have to deal with the experience.
459
00:29:45,016 --> 00:29:48,329
It's gonna take
strong leadership,
460
00:29:48,353 --> 00:29:52,422
caring, even kindness
at a societal level
461
00:29:52,490 --> 00:29:53,791
to help us all get through this.
462
00:30:34,198 --> 00:30:37,067
[Rafael] I've never been
the type to, you know,
463
00:30:37,134 --> 00:30:40,582
acknowledge my own
contributions or, you know.
464
00:30:40,606 --> 00:30:42,739
I never big myself up.
465
00:30:42,807 --> 00:30:44,586
In fact, I'm actually
the opposite.
466
00:30:44,610 --> 00:30:46,076
I always bring myself down.
467
00:30:47,311 --> 00:30:50,547
And doing this,
working here as a transporter,
468
00:30:50,615 --> 00:30:53,116
that's one of the things
that I can big myself up for.
469
00:30:57,021 --> 00:30:59,022
Two years in
and I'm actually happy.
470
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,695
I like doing what I'm doing.
471
00:31:05,763 --> 00:31:08,943
It's like the best thing that,
you know,
472
00:31:08,967 --> 00:31:10,067
that's happened to me
in a while.
473
00:31:11,302 --> 00:31:14,482
My crew--
Hey, I'm not gonna lie,
474
00:31:14,506 --> 00:31:17,352
we got some characters,
but good people though.
475
00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:20,822
They are the ones
that I go to when I, you know,
476
00:31:20,846 --> 00:31:22,557
just wanna talk.
477
00:31:22,581 --> 00:31:25,916
Andre trained me.
He's been there for me.
478
00:31:29,921 --> 00:31:32,789
How you dealing, Ralph?
On the serious.
479
00:31:32,857 --> 00:31:34,502
I'm okay, you know.
480
00:31:34,526 --> 00:31:36,838
It's hard but, you know.
481
00:31:36,862 --> 00:31:40,241
[Andre] I commend you
guys a lot. You know that.
482
00:31:40,265 --> 00:31:44,668
The situation, you know, what
we went through here, it was hard...
483
00:31:44,735 --> 00:31:45,669
[Rafael] It was.
484
00:31:45,736 --> 00:31:47,048
...for us seeing
so much people go down
485
00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:48,605
and getting hurt.
486
00:31:48,673 --> 00:31:52,142
And, you know, families when they
can't come in and see their family and--
487
00:31:52,209 --> 00:31:53,721
You've been there, Ralph.
488
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:54,945
- You know.
- Yeah, literally.
489
00:31:55,012 --> 00:31:56,480
And to come here, you don't know
490
00:31:56,547 --> 00:31:57,481
what you're walking into.
491
00:31:57,548 --> 00:31:59,193
It's like walking
into a building everyday
492
00:31:59,217 --> 00:32:00,528
- that's on fire.
- [Rafael] Yeah.
493
00:32:00,552 --> 00:32:02,196
- I wanna ask you one question.
- Of course.
494
00:32:02,220 --> 00:32:03,553
- I've never asked you this.
- Mmm-hmm.
495
00:32:03,621 --> 00:32:06,267
The day when that
first COVID patient came in
496
00:32:06,291 --> 00:32:07,557
and I asked you
to come with me--
497
00:32:07,625 --> 00:32:09,626
- If I was sure.
- If you were sure.
498
00:32:09,694 --> 00:32:11,094
- Yeah.
- What you said?
499
00:32:11,162 --> 00:32:13,608
I said yeah because, I mean,
500
00:32:13,632 --> 00:32:17,278
I think it's important because I
don't see this as just being like,
501
00:32:17,302 --> 00:32:19,770
okay, this is
our first pandemic patient,
502
00:32:20,438 --> 00:32:22,350
I'm scared for my own life.
503
00:32:22,374 --> 00:32:24,752
I'm not just gonna stand there
and not do nothing.
504
00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:26,510
I have to be strong
for everybody.
505
00:32:26,577 --> 00:32:29,557
I love you before, but that day when
you said you wanted to go out with me,
506
00:32:29,581 --> 00:32:31,292
I love you even more, Ralphie.
507
00:32:31,316 --> 00:32:33,216
- Bird of a feather...
- Flock together.
508
00:32:33,818 --> 00:32:35,085
[Rafael laughs]
509
00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:39,701
[Rafael] I definitely
like my job
510
00:32:39,725 --> 00:32:41,425
'cause it doesn't
feel like a job.
511
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:45,595
It feels more like
you're just interacting
512
00:32:45,663 --> 00:32:47,375
with people
and you're helping them
513
00:32:47,399 --> 00:32:49,967
get through whatever
it is they're going through.
514
00:32:51,268 --> 00:32:52,869
Vato, what's up, kid?
515
00:32:52,937 --> 00:32:54,404
I'm such a people pleaser.
516
00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:56,050
You know,
that's just the way I am.
517
00:32:56,074 --> 00:32:58,809
If you're good, I am good.
That's how I've always been.
518
00:32:59,677 --> 00:33:01,678
[indistinct chatter]
519
00:33:03,547 --> 00:33:04,614
[both laugh]
520
00:33:04,682 --> 00:33:06,316
[indistinct conversation
continues]
521
00:33:08,419 --> 00:33:09,953
- Ms. Brown?
- Yeah, I'm gonna take her upstairs.
522
00:33:10,021 --> 00:33:10,887
Thank you.
523
00:33:20,365 --> 00:33:22,143
Hi, Ms. Brown.
524
00:33:22,167 --> 00:33:24,501
My name is Rafael
with patient transport.
525
00:33:24,568 --> 00:33:27,415
I'm gonna take you upstairs
for ultrasound, okay?
526
00:33:27,439 --> 00:33:28,750
Can you tell me
your date of birth?
527
00:33:28,774 --> 00:33:30,874
[Ms. Brown] 1-29-59.
528
00:33:31,776 --> 00:33:33,210
Have you got
all your belongings?
529
00:33:34,112 --> 00:33:35,212
Let's start heading out.
530
00:33:39,450 --> 00:33:41,485
Getting better
is not just medicine,
531
00:33:42,186 --> 00:33:44,254
it's a mental thing, too.
532
00:33:44,321 --> 00:33:47,657
You gotta wanna feel good
to get better.
533
00:33:47,725 --> 00:33:50,705
And the only way to do that
is sometimes to just talk,
534
00:33:50,729 --> 00:33:52,173
to have somebody to talk to.
535
00:33:52,197 --> 00:33:54,297
And, you know, have a ear.
536
00:34:14,419 --> 00:34:15,252
It's hard.
537
00:34:40,244 --> 00:34:45,115
And Ms. Brown just like decided
to open up and tell me about her...
538
00:34:46,450 --> 00:34:49,186
her health problems,
what she's been through.
539
00:34:49,253 --> 00:34:52,389
A lot of what she said just reminded
me so much of what my dad went through,
540
00:34:52,456 --> 00:34:54,591
and it was hitting home.
541
00:34:54,658 --> 00:34:56,838
I'm glad I could
be there for her
542
00:34:56,862 --> 00:34:58,929
like I would've wanted
for my dad.
543
00:35:10,808 --> 00:35:14,277
I can't even tell you
how intense of a time it was.
544
00:35:14,345 --> 00:35:18,415
And you felt torn all the time
because you had people
545
00:35:18,482 --> 00:35:21,485
that were just really so upset.
546
00:35:21,552 --> 00:35:23,553
And they couldn't come visit.
547
00:35:23,621 --> 00:35:24,888
I mean, think about it,
548
00:35:24,955 --> 00:35:26,400
if your loved one's
in the hospital,
549
00:35:26,424 --> 00:35:29,493
you wanna be there to hold
their hand. And they couldn't.
550
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:32,963
And many times, that person,
too, was in quarantine themselves.
551
00:35:33,030 --> 00:35:37,100
I can't recall ever a time when we
would've had something like this.
552
00:35:40,437 --> 00:35:42,817
[Rafael] I've dealt
with divorce.
553
00:35:42,841 --> 00:35:46,109
Then I got sick with COVID.
554
00:35:46,177 --> 00:35:49,913
Had that for two weeks
and then the loss of my dad.
555
00:35:51,515 --> 00:35:54,417
All that within
less than two years.
556
00:35:56,187 --> 00:35:57,787
After I decided
to get a divorce,
557
00:35:57,855 --> 00:36:02,225
I left her the apartment
and I just went back home.
558
00:36:05,062 --> 00:36:06,596
I lean on a lot of people.
559
00:36:07,798 --> 00:36:11,268
Mostly I wanna say my family.
560
00:36:11,335 --> 00:36:17,185
Me and my younger brother. His name
is Emmanuel but we call him Manny.
561
00:36:17,209 --> 00:36:21,144
He's the one that I'm the
closest to out of all my siblings.
562
00:36:21,212 --> 00:36:26,550
But my mom, she raised me, so
she's my crutch for the most part.
563
00:36:26,617 --> 00:36:30,331
This is basically the
family tree for this family.
564
00:36:30,355 --> 00:36:32,200
- [Rafael] The roots are here.
- Yeah, the roots.
565
00:36:32,224 --> 00:36:35,336
My mother obviously
in a pedestal right there.
566
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,872
[Rafael] That's my uncle.
Uncle Hialo.
567
00:36:37,896 --> 00:36:39,696
This is my aunt, Milli.
568
00:36:40,364 --> 00:36:41,965
I'm very family-orientated.
569
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:44,234
I like to do everything
with the family.
570
00:36:45,769 --> 00:36:47,871
You wanted to say-- Say
one real quick, Ashley, before...
571
00:36:48,706 --> 00:36:49,817
Um...
572
00:36:49,841 --> 00:36:51,686
Thank you, Lord God,
for this day.
573
00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:54,021
Thank you for the people
that here with us. Bless them.
574
00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:59,293
Lord God, um, bless this food,
bless my grandma for making it.
575
00:36:59,317 --> 00:37:01,896
And just bless everybody
in this house.
576
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:03,987
- Amen.
- [all] Amen.
577
00:37:04,521 --> 00:37:05,589
Thank you, Ashley.
578
00:37:06,991 --> 00:37:08,391
[speaking foreign language]
579
00:37:09,460 --> 00:37:11,828
Having her here kind of like
helps, like,
580
00:37:12,730 --> 00:37:14,130
feel like the norm again.
581
00:37:14,198 --> 00:37:18,335
It's awesome because, like, we
were so afraid that it'd be a long,
582
00:37:18,402 --> 00:37:22,272
long time, like months even,
before we got to see her
583
00:37:22,339 --> 00:37:26,520
or even other family members because
we're all scared of each other now.
584
00:37:26,544 --> 00:37:27,744
[laughter]
585
00:37:27,811 --> 00:37:30,258
There's like, "Nah, I heard
you got sick, stay away."
586
00:37:30,282 --> 00:37:31,748
[Manny chuckles]
587
00:37:31,815 --> 00:37:34,618
So, like, you know, that's another
thing that did play on my head, too,
588
00:37:34,685 --> 00:37:38,622
like, once we got the first
possible patient,
589
00:37:38,689 --> 00:37:40,601
it just crossed my mind
that, yeah,
590
00:37:40,625 --> 00:37:43,426
"You know what,
this might hit Dad.
591
00:37:43,494 --> 00:37:44,605
This might reach him.
592
00:37:44,629 --> 00:37:47,230
This might go to the
nursing home where he is at."
593
00:37:49,700 --> 00:37:54,271
We lost our dad, um, the day
after my birthday and...
594
00:37:56,106 --> 00:37:59,754
[Manny] Yeah, it sucks.
We miss him.
595
00:37:59,778 --> 00:38:01,711
I actually got the pictures
of him right here.
596
00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:06,883
[Rafael] Definitely don't take
anything for granted.
597
00:38:08,585 --> 00:38:11,432
I think, you know,
if you feel like
598
00:38:11,456 --> 00:38:13,923
there's somebody you
haven't spoken to in a while,
599
00:38:13,991 --> 00:38:16,504
you know, you just wanna say,
"Hey," just do it.
600
00:38:16,528 --> 00:38:18,328
Because you might
not get that opportunity.
601
00:38:18,395 --> 00:38:19,996
So just him 'em up
and say hello.
602
00:38:21,532 --> 00:38:25,579
I do think that we're all
in the process of recovery.
603
00:38:25,603 --> 00:38:29,850
One thing about the communities
that have suffered the most
604
00:38:29,874 --> 00:38:34,144
from COVID, particularly
black people and Latinx people,
605
00:38:35,479 --> 00:38:37,347
they are resilient.
606
00:38:37,414 --> 00:38:40,483
We are resilient.
That's why we're still here.
607
00:38:40,551 --> 00:38:42,752
And if we give them
the tools they need
608
00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:46,356
and the resources they need,
they can and will recover.
609
00:39:30,334 --> 00:39:33,036
[doctor speaking indistinctly]
610
00:39:53,758 --> 00:39:55,736
[reporter] A coronavirus
patient here in New York City
611
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:59,028
is waking up this morning
at home for the first time
612
00:39:59,096 --> 00:40:01,409
in months
after an amazing recovery.
613
00:40:01,433 --> 00:40:05,168
64-year-old Larry Kelly was
admitted to a hospital in March
614
00:40:05,235 --> 00:40:08,515
when his health rapidly
declined after testing positive.
615
00:40:08,539 --> 00:40:11,552
At one point, in fact, his
family was called to the hospital
616
00:40:11,576 --> 00:40:13,109
to say goodbye.
617
00:40:13,177 --> 00:40:18,092
But yesterday, after a more than
120 days, Kelly is finally discharged.
618
00:40:18,116 --> 00:40:20,628
Senior Medical Correspondent,
Dr. Tara Narula shows us
619
00:40:20,652 --> 00:40:23,353
how Kelly and his family
never gave up.
620
00:40:54,751 --> 00:40:57,854
[Larry] I can honestly say
I always loved life. Always.
621
00:40:58,755 --> 00:41:00,623
I love people and I love life.
622
00:41:03,961 --> 00:41:06,029
I met my wife at drama school.
623
00:41:07,164 --> 00:41:08,665
And then when we had children,
624
00:41:10,167 --> 00:41:12,546
I had to get a real job,
so I went back to school.
625
00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:15,772
And went into education.
626
00:41:20,177 --> 00:41:24,158
I was a high-school principal
for an alternate program
627
00:41:24,182 --> 00:41:25,759
in Harlem.
628
00:41:25,783 --> 00:41:28,451
I worked with kids
that were in trouble.
629
00:41:29,653 --> 00:41:32,021
And... I love my job.
630
00:41:35,192 --> 00:41:38,061
[nurse] Okay, one, two, three.
631
00:41:38,128 --> 00:41:39,907
Okay, reach back for that, then.
632
00:41:39,931 --> 00:41:40,930
This one.
633
00:41:48,405 --> 00:41:49,939
Okay.
634
00:41:51,075 --> 00:41:55,178
I was-- you know, mid-March,
which was pretty early.
635
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:59,660
One, two and three.
636
00:41:59,684 --> 00:42:01,996
And I guess I got worse,
637
00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:04,153
and like I said, it was early,
638
00:42:04,221 --> 00:42:07,067
so I was sort of like a guinea
pig for a lot of stuff, you know,
639
00:42:07,091 --> 00:42:08,802
they threw everything at me.
640
00:42:08,826 --> 00:42:10,738
But, they vented me,
641
00:42:10,762 --> 00:42:12,595
like a day after I got there.
642
00:42:13,097 --> 00:42:15,298
Okay.
643
00:42:15,365 --> 00:42:18,345
You know, I had a admitting
nurse who was just great.
644
00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:20,503
And we sort of like hit it off.
645
00:42:20,571 --> 00:42:24,218
And, uh, I remember
looking at her and, you know,
646
00:42:24,242 --> 00:42:26,209
saying, "You're gonna
help me breathe, right?"
647
00:42:26,843 --> 00:42:29,045
And her saying, "Yes."
648
00:42:29,112 --> 00:42:32,026
But not looking very confident
about it because it was new.
649
00:42:32,050 --> 00:42:34,495
[nurse] Then you gonna
do stretching.
650
00:42:34,519 --> 00:42:37,520
[Jessica] He looked
really healthy. He looked fit.
651
00:42:37,588 --> 00:42:40,456
He had just come
from Florida with his wife
652
00:42:40,524 --> 00:42:43,237
and family,
and so he was tanned.
653
00:42:43,261 --> 00:42:46,062
I was very worried about dying.
654
00:42:46,129 --> 00:42:49,999
Because I hadn't... I hadn't really
prepared my wife for my death.
655
00:42:50,734 --> 00:42:53,136
Even though he was terrified,
656
00:42:53,203 --> 00:42:55,115
um, he had this
great personality.
657
00:42:55,139 --> 00:42:58,207
And I remember his eyes just
frequently locking with mine
658
00:42:58,275 --> 00:43:00,543
and really seeing fear
in his eyes.
659
00:43:08,418 --> 00:43:11,087
When I woke up, I found out that
660
00:43:11,154 --> 00:43:15,936
there was a tremendous support
on social media.
661
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:20,063
And, uh, I have a lot more
friends than I thought I had.
662
00:43:20,430 --> 00:43:21,464
And, uh...
663
00:43:26,303 --> 00:43:27,537
Yeah...
664
00:43:29,172 --> 00:43:31,574
I know that that helped.
665
00:43:31,642 --> 00:43:33,554
I mean, I could pat
myself on the back
666
00:43:33,578 --> 00:43:35,044
for my own will power.
667
00:43:35,112 --> 00:43:37,914
But there was
something else at play there.
668
00:43:37,981 --> 00:43:39,716
You know, something grabbed me.
669
00:43:40,517 --> 00:43:41,962
I was in a coma.
670
00:43:41,986 --> 00:43:45,699
I constantly felt like I was
falling into this dark pit.
671
00:43:45,723 --> 00:43:47,790
And that people
were trying to kill me.
672
00:43:48,726 --> 00:43:49,826
And, uh...
673
00:43:51,862 --> 00:43:53,596
And I used every ounce of
674
00:43:53,664 --> 00:43:56,532
strength of my body to
scratch myself out of the pit.
675
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,267
I'm sorry.
676
00:43:58,335 --> 00:44:01,004
These are good tears.
These are tears of joy
677
00:44:01,071 --> 00:44:02,605
for where I am.
678
00:44:02,673 --> 00:44:04,507
It's not pain. It's not pain.
679
00:44:07,144 --> 00:44:09,812
It's been 128 days,
since I've been home.
680
00:44:13,550 --> 00:44:15,752
I'm here talking
because I'm fortunate
681
00:44:15,819 --> 00:44:17,754
that I somehow survived.
682
00:44:17,821 --> 00:44:19,188
But a lot of people didn't.
683
00:44:26,030 --> 00:44:28,342
I am so thrilled
684
00:44:28,366 --> 00:44:31,768
that the caregivers with me
did not give up.
685
00:44:34,971 --> 00:44:36,417
I had a lot of help.
686
00:44:36,441 --> 00:44:37,640
A lot of help.
687
00:44:38,508 --> 00:44:39,709
I didn't do it alone.
688
00:44:44,048 --> 00:44:46,293
You know, when they talk about
689
00:44:46,317 --> 00:44:48,918
"we are all in this together,"
you gotta believe that.
690
00:44:48,985 --> 00:44:50,486
You gotta believe that
in your bones.
691
00:45:07,671 --> 00:45:10,540
Good morning.
My name is David Van De Carr.
692
00:45:10,607 --> 00:45:12,186
I'm a respiratory therapist...
693
00:45:12,210 --> 00:45:15,723
My name is Salim Ahmed.
I'm a critical care attending...
694
00:45:15,747 --> 00:45:18,081
Hi, this is Matthew Bai
at Mount Sanai Queens.
695
00:45:18,148 --> 00:45:19,816
It is Monday, March 30th...
696
00:45:19,883 --> 00:45:22,085
My name is Lyn Viray,
I am an ICU nurse
697
00:45:22,152 --> 00:45:23,720
at Mount Sinai West.
698
00:45:26,290 --> 00:45:28,869
[man] I don't watch the news
about COVID really because
699
00:45:28,893 --> 00:45:30,093
I'm living it at work.
700
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:33,674
I go in and out of
COVID patients' rooms all day.
701
00:45:33,698 --> 00:45:36,099
That's what is going at
the hospital right now.
702
00:45:36,166 --> 00:45:38,167
[man 2] And we have so many
people in the hallways
703
00:45:38,235 --> 00:45:39,969
that are all COVID positive.
704
00:45:40,036 --> 00:45:42,015
[woman] We help each other
get through this.
705
00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:44,218
Because we share
the same experiences.
706
00:45:44,242 --> 00:45:46,553
We all have families
that we have to go to.
707
00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:48,555
We all make sacrifices
708
00:45:48,579 --> 00:45:53,015
by not seeing them
for long periods of time.
709
00:45:54,184 --> 00:45:55,251
[sobbing]
710
00:45:55,318 --> 00:45:56,786
It's been...
711
00:45:57,454 --> 00:45:59,388
It's been very difficult.
712
00:45:59,456 --> 00:46:01,691
You know,
and I don't think that...
713
00:46:02,126 --> 00:46:04,060
I hope that
714
00:46:04,127 --> 00:46:06,929
nobody ever has to
experience anything like--
715
00:46:06,997 --> 00:46:08,664
Like what we've been
experiencing.
716
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:37,860
Mohammad.
717
00:46:41,298 --> 00:46:42,431
Hey.
718
00:46:42,499 --> 00:46:43,432
Hi.
719
00:46:45,769 --> 00:46:47,303
How are you?
720
00:46:47,370 --> 00:46:48,615
Yeah? You okay?
721
00:46:48,639 --> 00:46:50,439
So, I just wanted
to check on you.
722
00:46:50,507 --> 00:46:52,820
You have a lot of people
in your corner here.
723
00:46:52,844 --> 00:46:55,578
And when Dina
called me yesterday,
724
00:46:55,645 --> 00:46:56,746
I was, um...
725
00:46:57,581 --> 00:46:58,781
My heart broke.
726
00:46:58,849 --> 00:47:00,294
[chuckles]
727
00:47:00,318 --> 00:47:02,696
My heart broke because
you are one of us.
728
00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:05,021
Number one,
you're on the front line...
729
00:47:07,591 --> 00:47:09,225
We do. We do.
730
00:47:11,061 --> 00:47:12,328
Yeah.
731
00:47:38,755 --> 00:47:39,856
I don't lie to you.
732
00:47:43,493 --> 00:47:45,094
You're gonna leave here.
733
00:47:48,031 --> 00:47:48,931
Yep.
734
00:47:51,301 --> 00:47:52,679
Yeah.
735
00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:53,836
You will be going home.
736
00:47:55,639 --> 00:47:56,906
[Jessica laughing]
737
00:47:56,973 --> 00:47:59,820
I know that's not what you
thought when you arrived, though.
738
00:47:59,844 --> 00:48:02,712
I just look at you and I'm like,
"Why isn't it me in that bed?"
739
00:48:02,779 --> 00:48:03,957
You know?
740
00:48:03,981 --> 00:48:06,249
I've been crying all day, too.
741
00:48:23,867 --> 00:48:24,867
Yes, you do.
742
00:48:57,100 --> 00:48:58,745
That's love.
743
00:48:58,769 --> 00:49:00,770
When I got here this morning,
744
00:49:00,837 --> 00:49:02,505
he told me to
move away from him.
745
00:49:02,572 --> 00:49:03,750
And I said,
746
00:49:03,774 --> 00:49:05,641
"Hell no,
I'm not gonna do that."
747
00:49:05,709 --> 00:49:06,642
No way.
748
00:49:09,046 --> 00:49:10,513
Yeah.
749
00:49:10,580 --> 00:49:12,782
I wanted you to know,
that you're not alone.
750
00:49:12,849 --> 00:49:15,284
You can't have your wife here.
You can't have your kids,
751
00:49:16,052 --> 00:49:17,987
but you have me.
And you have us.
752
00:49:18,054 --> 00:49:19,433
And you're not by yourself.
753
00:49:19,457 --> 00:49:22,035
Yeah. And you're gonna
get out of this bed.
754
00:49:22,059 --> 00:49:23,793
May be not as fast as you want.
755
00:49:23,860 --> 00:49:25,528
[chuckles] But you're gonna
get out of this bed.
756
00:49:27,064 --> 00:49:28,531
Keep on your belly, babe.
757
00:49:32,803 --> 00:49:36,205
It's on his mind that he
could crash and he could die.
758
00:49:37,340 --> 00:49:38,674
And that
759
00:49:38,742 --> 00:49:41,344
devastates me that
he has to worry about that.
760
00:49:46,216 --> 00:49:47,260
[exhales]
761
00:49:47,284 --> 00:49:48,384
What a day.
762
00:49:55,959 --> 00:49:58,828
[Reich] We developed
an incredible list
763
00:49:58,895 --> 00:50:00,340
of different treatments
764
00:50:00,364 --> 00:50:04,344
that innovated and revolutionized
the treatment of COVID patients,
765
00:50:04,368 --> 00:50:08,104
just within the first several weeks
of the disease hitting New York.
766
00:50:08,171 --> 00:50:11,418
Those included
using unique forms
767
00:50:11,442 --> 00:50:14,676
of support for
the respiratory system,
768
00:50:14,744 --> 00:50:16,979
such as high-flow nasal cannulas
769
00:50:17,047 --> 00:50:20,027
and non-invasive ventilation.
770
00:50:20,051 --> 00:50:22,918
We were getting
whatever we could.
771
00:50:22,986 --> 00:50:25,921
There was a story out
that Elon Musk
772
00:50:25,989 --> 00:50:28,924
was gonna have
access to ventilators.
773
00:50:28,992 --> 00:50:31,171
So I got in touch with
Elon during this period,
774
00:50:31,195 --> 00:50:33,996
and he said, "How many
ventilators do you want?"
775
00:50:34,064 --> 00:50:35,664
And I said,
"We're gonna need them all."
776
00:50:35,732 --> 00:50:38,000
And in the end,
he sent us 200 ventilators.
777
00:50:38,068 --> 00:50:40,803
That was gonna be critical
for saving lives.
778
00:50:41,805 --> 00:50:43,583
So, what we also learned was
779
00:50:43,607 --> 00:50:45,808
that you could do
something called proning
780
00:50:45,875 --> 00:50:49,322
which is when you lay somebody
on their belly.
781
00:50:49,346 --> 00:50:51,414
So, if you think about
when you lay on your belly
782
00:50:51,481 --> 00:50:53,015
and your breathing in is a very
783
00:50:53,083 --> 00:50:55,618
different way that
your lungs are inflated
784
00:50:55,685 --> 00:50:57,953
as compared to when you're
laying on your back.
785
00:50:58,021 --> 00:51:00,689
There is improve levels of
oxygen in the body
786
00:51:00,757 --> 00:51:03,670
when people are cared for
in this prone position.
787
00:51:03,694 --> 00:51:07,763
It's clear in all diseases
that one size fits none.
788
00:51:07,831 --> 00:51:10,366
And what we have learned is that
789
00:51:10,433 --> 00:51:14,336
we can take a very individualized
approach to COVID patients.
790
00:51:29,319 --> 00:51:31,098
[Jessica] I feel like
I'm in a war zone.
791
00:51:31,122 --> 00:51:33,923
And I go in thinking,
"Oh, flatten the curve,
792
00:51:33,990 --> 00:51:37,660
people are staying home, hospital admissions
are down," but it's not over for us.
793
00:51:37,727 --> 00:51:39,506
But, from what I'm seeing,
794
00:51:39,530 --> 00:51:41,864
we're far from, like,
795
00:51:42,465 --> 00:51:43,910
being okay.
796
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:46,913
And I don't know
how this won't change
797
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:49,316
physicians,
and it won't change nurses
798
00:51:49,340 --> 00:51:51,073
forever.
799
00:51:51,141 --> 00:51:55,144
Even having
post-traumatic stress from...
800
00:51:55,211 --> 00:51:57,413
from just the sheer exhaustion.
801
00:51:57,480 --> 00:52:00,193
I mean, I come home,
I'm numb sometimes.
802
00:52:00,217 --> 00:52:03,263
I'm just numb, and I actually
have to apologize to my family.
803
00:52:03,287 --> 00:52:05,421
I sent this text message out
804
00:52:05,488 --> 00:52:07,000
to my kids and to my husband,
805
00:52:07,024 --> 00:52:09,225
and I just said,
"I'm really sorry
806
00:52:09,292 --> 00:52:11,605
that things are
not getting better
807
00:52:11,629 --> 00:52:15,231
and that I don't foresee
when things will get better."
808
00:52:15,298 --> 00:52:17,944
And I said, "We've never
needed each other more than ever
809
00:52:17,968 --> 00:52:20,614
right now, and
I am asking you to just
810
00:52:20,638 --> 00:52:23,150
"stick with me..." Um...
811
00:52:23,174 --> 00:52:25,374
"And let's band together
through this." Because
812
00:52:25,441 --> 00:52:27,910
I go home and I'm not available.
I'm not emotionally available.
813
00:52:27,977 --> 00:52:29,612
I'm not physically available.
814
00:52:30,447 --> 00:52:33,315
I try to be, but I'm not.
815
00:52:33,383 --> 00:52:35,562
I just said, "We have to
stick together," because
816
00:52:35,586 --> 00:52:39,688
I don't think people really understand
how health care workers are going home.
817
00:52:40,390 --> 00:52:43,170
♪ Don't you know ♪
818
00:52:43,194 --> 00:52:45,861
♪ I'm no good for you ♪
819
00:52:48,598 --> 00:52:52,067
♪ I've learned to lose you ♪
820
00:52:52,135 --> 00:52:54,503
♪ You can't afford to ♪
821
00:52:57,941 --> 00:53:00,209
♪ Tore my shirt ♪
822
00:53:00,276 --> 00:53:03,312
♪ To stop you bleeding ♪
823
00:53:05,882 --> 00:53:11,587
♪ But nothing ever
stops you leaving ♪
824
00:53:15,225 --> 00:53:17,226
♪ Quieter I'm coming home ♪
825
00:53:17,293 --> 00:53:20,073
♪ In my mind On my own ♪
826
00:53:20,097 --> 00:53:22,209
[all clapping]
827
00:53:22,233 --> 00:53:25,100
♪ I could lie and say
I like it like that ♪
828
00:53:25,168 --> 00:53:27,369
♪ Like it like that ♪
829
00:53:29,439 --> 00:53:32,219
♪ I could lie and say
I like it like that ♪
830
00:53:32,243 --> 00:53:34,210
♪ Like it like that ♪
831
00:53:39,583 --> 00:53:42,117
♪ Don't you know ♪
832
00:53:42,185 --> 00:53:44,753
♪ Too much already... ♪
833
00:53:46,056 --> 00:53:47,389
Hi, guys, sorry.
834
00:53:49,192 --> 00:53:51,527
Thank you, everybody,
for taking and carving
835
00:53:51,594 --> 00:53:53,462
a little time out of your day
to join us.
836
00:53:53,529 --> 00:53:57,333
I think many of you have been
a part of ICU reflections before.
837
00:53:57,400 --> 00:54:00,736
This is a series that we've been
trying to do regularly in the ICU, um,
838
00:54:00,803 --> 00:54:02,871
every few weeks.
839
00:54:02,939 --> 00:54:06,275
Uh, to try to capture just
a small moment of time for us
840
00:54:06,342 --> 00:54:08,410
to be together and reflect on
some of the most challenging
841
00:54:08,478 --> 00:54:11,458
situations that we've been
dealing within the ICU.
842
00:54:11,482 --> 00:54:13,282
What's on your mind, right now?
843
00:54:13,349 --> 00:54:15,528
What can we do, as a team
and as a group
844
00:54:15,552 --> 00:54:18,087
and as a family to
work through this?
845
00:54:18,154 --> 00:54:21,957
I have no issues. I just
wanna say thank you. Um...
846
00:54:22,025 --> 00:54:25,138
I'm sorry. Just skip me.
I'm sorry.
847
00:54:25,162 --> 00:54:26,328
- I apologize.
- No, talk.
848
00:54:26,763 --> 00:54:28,808
Um...
849
00:54:28,832 --> 00:54:30,410
[voice breaking]
I got-- I'm sorry.
850
00:54:30,434 --> 00:54:31,344
[sobbing]
851
00:54:31,368 --> 00:54:32,601
It's okay.
852
00:54:37,240 --> 00:54:39,775
- You got it.
- I think I wanna say just thank you.
853
00:54:39,842 --> 00:54:42,511
Because, I mean,
854
00:54:42,578 --> 00:54:45,180
I never missed a day
through this whole pandemic.
855
00:54:45,248 --> 00:54:48,094
And I've watched everyone here.
856
00:54:48,118 --> 00:54:50,897
That's about how much--
You jumped into the room.
857
00:54:50,921 --> 00:54:53,633
Like, in the beginning,
the nurses pulled together,
858
00:54:53,657 --> 00:54:56,458
I have never felt that,
myself, at work.
859
00:54:56,526 --> 00:54:58,104
I mean,
860
00:54:58,128 --> 00:55:01,708
the support was so incredible.
861
00:55:01,732 --> 00:55:03,843
I mean, we fought hard
862
00:55:03,867 --> 00:55:06,635
for our patients, and I
think that's what really...
863
00:55:07,804 --> 00:55:10,183
kept me going everyday.
864
00:55:10,207 --> 00:55:12,941
And I just-- Thank you. Sorry.
865
00:55:13,009 --> 00:55:14,587
I'm so sorry.
866
00:55:14,611 --> 00:55:16,679
God, I don't do this but...
867
00:55:17,614 --> 00:55:19,815
[nurse] No, you don't.
868
00:55:19,882 --> 00:55:23,085
I was just amazed. It was,
just, everybody knew what to do.
869
00:55:23,152 --> 00:55:26,333
This organic "I'm in the room. I
need to figure out how to fix this pump.
870
00:55:26,357 --> 00:55:29,269
Even though I am not a nurse
that typically fixes pump."
871
00:55:29,293 --> 00:55:32,628
And I just remember, you know,
Jessica, outside the room,
872
00:55:32,695 --> 00:55:35,275
screaming over that, like,
873
00:55:35,299 --> 00:55:36,965
negative pressure pump,
you know,
874
00:55:37,033 --> 00:55:39,101
"The button on the left!"
875
00:55:39,168 --> 00:55:40,436
[all laughing]
876
00:55:40,503 --> 00:55:42,504
And I have to say, like, I mean,
877
00:55:42,572 --> 00:55:45,418
it was frightening to me
to take on a role like that.
878
00:55:45,442 --> 00:55:47,643
And we're all
so much stronger for it.
879
00:55:47,710 --> 00:55:50,979
Um, and I think we're also
all left, also, with this kind of
880
00:55:51,047 --> 00:55:53,626
well of emotions and
881
00:55:53,650 --> 00:55:57,453
tragedy that, you know, I think
I'm only just starting to process now.
882
00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:59,165
And I think, as a team,
883
00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:00,989
all of you guys are
the kind of people that
884
00:56:01,057 --> 00:56:02,702
I'm able to talk about with it.
885
00:56:02,726 --> 00:56:04,771
Um, it's hard to talk about
people who weren't here.
886
00:56:04,795 --> 00:56:06,228
Who didn't go through it.
887
00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:11,511
[Jonathan] People clap for us at seven
o'clock, because they wanna support heroes.
888
00:56:11,535 --> 00:56:13,001
But, in real life,
889
00:56:13,069 --> 00:56:15,582
you're not a hero because
you were born that way.
890
00:56:15,606 --> 00:56:18,518
Heroes are normal people
that just step up to the occasion.
891
00:56:18,542 --> 00:56:20,676
I think that's what
all of us have done.
892
00:56:20,743 --> 00:56:23,078
It was just during this
occasion, this fight,
893
00:56:23,146 --> 00:56:24,591
we've stepped up to fight.
894
00:56:24,615 --> 00:56:26,749
So, what we have to fight now is
895
00:56:26,816 --> 00:56:28,884
all of those emotions,
all of those things
896
00:56:28,951 --> 00:56:31,220
that we pushed down
and put in our suitcases
897
00:56:31,287 --> 00:56:32,532
and dealing with that.
898
00:56:32,556 --> 00:56:35,758
And that's gonna be hard.
That's gonna take a long time.
899
00:56:35,825 --> 00:56:38,738
Now is the time that, we're
gonna have to keep doing this
900
00:56:38,762 --> 00:56:40,829
and making sure
we're checking in
901
00:56:40,897 --> 00:56:42,342
over and over
902
00:56:42,366 --> 00:56:45,545
and it was the one thing I heard all
the time through the COVID pandemic.
903
00:56:45,569 --> 00:56:47,414
Everybody, how can I help you?
904
00:56:47,438 --> 00:56:49,371
How can I help you?
And I think that
905
00:56:49,439 --> 00:56:52,040
that refrain, that chant,
that has to keep going.
906
00:56:52,108 --> 00:56:54,710
We have to keep asking each
other, "How can I help you?"
907
00:56:54,777 --> 00:56:55,911
Not just with the physical work,
908
00:56:55,978 --> 00:56:57,579
but with all of
the emotional labor
909
00:56:57,647 --> 00:57:01,784
and the moral destress that
inevitably comes with this.
910
00:57:01,851 --> 00:57:04,764
Thank you, everybody, 'cause
none of us could've made it through
911
00:57:04,788 --> 00:57:07,122
without every
single individual here.
912
00:57:08,324 --> 00:57:10,303
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
913
00:57:10,327 --> 00:57:11,504
Thank you, Jenna.
914
00:57:11,528 --> 00:57:12,861
[indistinct conversations]
915
00:57:26,008 --> 00:57:27,276
I'm gonna go see Mohammad.
916
00:57:32,615 --> 00:57:34,316
Where is he? Oh, here.
917
00:57:34,684 --> 00:57:35,851
Okay.
918
00:57:41,424 --> 00:57:42,591
[knocking at door]
919
00:59:07,977 --> 00:59:09,578
[woman]
I'm glad you feel better.
920
00:59:37,940 --> 00:59:39,641
[all applauding]
921
01:00:01,230 --> 01:00:02,464
[Larry] Hey, Jess.
922
01:00:03,333 --> 01:00:04,700
So, that's what you look like.
923
01:00:06,970 --> 01:00:09,371
No! With the mask on.
924
01:00:09,438 --> 01:00:10,472
I remember your eyes.
925
01:00:18,314 --> 01:00:19,692
I made you a promise.
926
01:00:19,716 --> 01:00:23,185
We have to go to
a Hungarian pastry shop
927
01:00:23,252 --> 01:00:24,419
for coffee.
928
01:00:29,859 --> 01:00:31,727
Yeah, well--
929
01:00:31,794 --> 01:00:33,662
It's thanks to
people like you, Jess.
930
01:00:37,233 --> 01:00:38,511
I feel great.
931
01:00:38,535 --> 01:00:40,469
I'm going home on the 22nd.
932
01:00:41,437 --> 01:00:43,383
You know, my arms need work.
933
01:00:43,407 --> 01:00:44,740
So, I still need therapy.
934
01:00:44,807 --> 01:00:46,742
But, I'm walking well.
935
01:00:46,809 --> 01:00:48,577
My mind is totally intact.
936
01:00:54,016 --> 01:00:56,218
I remember saying to you
937
01:00:56,285 --> 01:00:58,120
"Are you gonna help me breathe?"
938
01:01:00,089 --> 01:01:02,268
And you weren't quite sure.
939
01:01:02,292 --> 01:01:03,936
[chuckling]
You weren't quite sure.
940
01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:05,471
You know?
941
01:01:05,495 --> 01:01:07,295
You know...
942
01:01:16,572 --> 01:01:17,606
Yeah.
943
01:01:24,714 --> 01:01:26,759
And I was so early
944
01:01:26,783 --> 01:01:28,961
that you were concerned
about your own health.
945
01:01:28,985 --> 01:01:30,318
You know.
946
01:01:44,133 --> 01:01:45,367
We made a connection.
947
01:01:47,403 --> 01:01:48,870
Forever-- Forever.
948
01:01:48,938 --> 01:01:52,852
I was saying he can't go anywhere,
he's just so vital to so many people and
949
01:01:52,876 --> 01:01:56,378
he's still best friends with people
he went to kindergarten with.
950
01:02:06,022 --> 01:02:07,533
I know, I don't know
how they got through it.
951
01:02:07,557 --> 01:02:09,224
I don't know how they got
through that 51 days.
952
01:02:12,428 --> 01:02:13,228
What?
953
01:02:18,568 --> 01:02:19,434
[chuckling] I know.
954
01:02:23,439 --> 01:02:25,151
Yeah, I know, I know.
955
01:02:25,175 --> 01:02:27,676
You gotta believe it's
because of people like you.
956
01:02:30,446 --> 01:02:32,080
You need a recommendation,
I'll write one.
957
01:02:33,449 --> 01:02:36,562
[Dawn] I'm just... grateful,
so grateful.
958
01:02:36,586 --> 01:02:37,619
Everybody did the right thing.
959
01:02:38,387 --> 01:02:42,023
Doctors, friends, Larry...
960
01:02:43,192 --> 01:02:44,904
everybody, Jessica.
961
01:02:44,928 --> 01:02:46,962
You know the last text message
I sent my wife
962
01:02:47,530 --> 01:02:48,530
before they vented me?
963
01:02:49,465 --> 01:02:52,000
"I promise I will never
stop fighting."
964
01:02:52,067 --> 01:02:53,568
That's the last message
I sent to her.
965
01:02:54,937 --> 01:02:55,904
And I kept my promise.
966
01:03:10,419 --> 01:03:11,920
Thank you. Thank you, Jessica.
967
01:03:15,358 --> 01:03:16,892
Thank you. You, too.
968
01:03:16,959 --> 01:03:21,830
I just kept pacing and walking and
saying to myself, out loud, I was saying,
969
01:03:21,897 --> 01:03:24,210
"We need a miracle, we need
a miracle, we need a miracle.
970
01:03:24,234 --> 01:03:25,600
Definitely need a miracle."
971
01:03:26,502 --> 01:03:28,003
Listen to me, we need a miracle.
972
01:03:29,505 --> 01:03:30,305
We got a miracle.
973
01:03:30,907 --> 01:03:31,740
[giggles]
974
01:03:32,308 --> 01:03:38,013
[crowd cheering]
975
01:04:23,159 --> 01:04:24,226
[alarm ringing]
976
01:04:28,764 --> 01:04:32,478
[Jessica] I have never woken
up one day in my career and said
977
01:04:32,502 --> 01:04:34,002
"I don't wanna go
to work today."
978
01:04:37,039 --> 01:04:38,907
And that was starting to happen
979
01:04:38,941 --> 01:04:43,289
in the middle of, I would say,
right after the apex.
980
01:04:43,313 --> 01:04:48,027
I felt like I was working
on speed, for weeks,
981
01:04:48,051 --> 01:04:51,631
and I would dread having to
get up and go to work,
982
01:04:51,655 --> 01:04:55,357
not because I didn't want to be there
and help. It was just taking such a toll.
983
01:04:56,525 --> 01:05:00,061
And so, I think, right now,
my head is trying to...
984
01:05:00,129 --> 01:05:04,043
be grateful that I've been able to
work, that I've been able to stay healthy,
985
01:05:04,067 --> 01:05:06,801
um, and really enjoy being home.
986
01:05:08,137 --> 01:05:10,383
[indistinct chatter]
987
01:05:10,407 --> 01:05:12,374
I'm probably gonna let them
all go through the back.
988
01:05:14,944 --> 01:05:17,412
[man] Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
989
01:05:17,479 --> 01:05:20,081
[Jessica] We are celebrating
my youngest daughter's birthday.
990
01:05:20,149 --> 01:05:23,062
I told you, it's been since
December. [laughs]
991
01:05:23,086 --> 01:05:24,653
I can't hug you?
992
01:05:28,090 --> 01:05:32,627
I'm not watching the news,
I'm trying to sit in the backyard.
993
01:05:33,762 --> 01:05:34,896
Be with the family.
994
01:05:38,567 --> 01:05:40,235
Ah, thank you!
995
01:05:41,637 --> 01:05:43,749
Thank you!
996
01:05:43,773 --> 01:05:46,708
- [Jessica whooping] Thank you!
- [horn honking]
997
01:05:48,577 --> 01:05:49,878
Thank you so much!
998
01:05:50,713 --> 01:05:53,025
Thank you, thank you!
999
01:05:53,049 --> 01:05:55,227
- That was cool.
- [man] That was beautiful!
1000
01:05:55,251 --> 01:05:58,631
I think that was really cool.
1001
01:05:58,655 --> 01:06:03,124
I realized really how it
impacted me, all those weeks.
1002
01:06:03,192 --> 01:06:07,329
And I need a sense of peace
and a sense of normalcy.
1003
01:06:08,931 --> 01:06:09,798
Baby steps.
1004
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:14,536
Baby steps, you know?
It has to be baby steps.
1005
01:06:19,208 --> 01:06:21,509
[Rafael] It looks cool.
I like it.
1006
01:06:24,146 --> 01:06:28,950
This is a bit of my sanity
going into this, you know, like...
1007
01:06:29,018 --> 01:06:34,956
I could go crazy, or I could just--
the little piece I do have, hold on to it.
1008
01:06:36,425 --> 01:06:38,526
I'm hoping to make, like,
a night sky.
1009
01:06:39,562 --> 01:06:42,208
Maybe a moon somewhere
around the middle.
1010
01:06:42,232 --> 01:06:44,165
The thing with painting
is like, you know, they say
1011
01:06:44,233 --> 01:06:46,301
you can just paint
your own world.
1012
01:06:46,368 --> 01:06:50,238
And this is, more or less, what
I'm trying to accomplish here.
1013
01:06:50,305 --> 01:06:56,822
You know, take my mind off of
my dad passing, and COVID, and...
1014
01:06:56,846 --> 01:06:59,692
what better painting
than a night sky?
1015
01:06:59,716 --> 01:07:03,718
I mean, it won't be no Van
Gogh, but it's something.
1016
01:07:06,188 --> 01:07:08,656
Like, this is my space now,
1017
01:07:08,724 --> 01:07:12,794
where I can think about
everything, but reality.
1018
01:07:20,669 --> 01:07:23,849
[Mirna] That was always
my biggest fear, is...
1019
01:07:23,873 --> 01:07:27,208
I didn't think I could live with
myself, if I brought something home.
1020
01:07:29,745 --> 01:07:33,259
So, I'd like race to the shower,
and it was really upsetting to her.
1021
01:07:33,283 --> 01:07:35,394
She just didn't understand why
she couldn't touch me.
1022
01:07:35,418 --> 01:07:39,331
And she used to constantly say,
"Can I touch you? Can I hug you?"
1023
01:07:39,355 --> 01:07:43,257
We developed a dance, instead
of hugging, when I got home.
1024
01:07:43,325 --> 01:07:44,692
- Ready?
- Go!
1025
01:07:44,760 --> 01:07:51,633
[Gian and Savreen] Ten, nine,
eight,
1026
01:07:51,700 --> 01:07:53,412
seven...
1027
01:07:53,436 --> 01:07:56,816
[Mirna] I want her to
remember whatever she can.
1028
01:07:56,840 --> 01:08:01,176
But I think what this experience
really showed me is that
1029
01:08:01,243 --> 01:08:04,579
even when you're afraid to go to
work, even if you're overwhelmed
1030
01:08:04,646 --> 01:08:09,161
by what you have to deal
with everyday, it is still valuable
1031
01:08:09,185 --> 01:08:12,898
to take that knowledge and
expertise and skill that you have
1032
01:08:12,922 --> 01:08:15,090
and to do it when you
are afraid.
1033
01:08:16,258 --> 01:08:17,826
It's a really cool heart, right?
1034
01:08:18,327 --> 01:08:19,160
[giggles]
1035
01:08:20,129 --> 01:08:21,796
Look at this heart.
1036
01:08:21,864 --> 01:08:27,113
None of us signed up for this. None of us
had any idea or any concept to anticipate
1037
01:08:27,137 --> 01:08:30,105
that this would be how
we would be called to service.
1038
01:08:31,473 --> 01:08:35,254
If it had to happen, I'm glad
I could be a part of it.
1039
01:08:35,278 --> 01:08:39,080
I'm glad that I could do something
where I could come to work everyday,
1040
01:08:39,148 --> 01:08:44,486
look patients in the eyes, and tell
them that I was afraid for them, too.
1041
01:08:44,553 --> 01:08:47,933
But that we were gonna be
there to help them get through this,
1042
01:08:47,957 --> 01:08:51,493
and we were gonna do our very
best to help them get back to their lives.
1043
01:09:06,108 --> 01:09:11,713
The pandemic and the adversity in general
reveals a lot about the character...
1044
01:09:11,780 --> 01:09:14,883
of an individual,
an institution, a community.
1045
01:09:15,851 --> 01:09:16,851
And even a nation.
1046
01:09:25,861 --> 01:09:30,465
[Richard] The amount of
help from the community...
1047
01:09:30,532 --> 01:09:35,904
I found really humanity in people
wanting to help any way they could.
1048
01:09:36,805 --> 01:09:38,717
[Reich] But how sad it is
1049
01:09:38,741 --> 01:09:42,477
that we can be in a world where,
despite all of our medical advances,
1050
01:09:42,544 --> 01:09:44,312
we can be helpless in the face
of a new disease.
1051
01:09:45,681 --> 01:09:48,149
[man speaking]
1052
01:09:54,823 --> 01:09:57,403
[man 2] I always try to think ahead.
You know, what's gonna come next
1053
01:09:57,427 --> 01:09:59,360
that we're not prepared for?
1054
01:09:59,428 --> 01:10:03,331
All of a sudden it was challenge
after challenge after challenge.
1055
01:10:04,567 --> 01:10:09,170
[Mary] It hit so fast
and so hard,
1056
01:10:09,238 --> 01:10:13,308
and it was so unpredictable
as to who was gonna die.
1057
01:10:13,375 --> 01:10:16,778
I want people to be safe,
I want people to wear masks,
1058
01:10:16,845 --> 01:10:20,848
I want people to social distance
until we have a point where we can
1059
01:10:20,916 --> 01:10:22,294
treat this disease.
1060
01:10:22,318 --> 01:10:24,052
This virus terrifies me.
1061
01:10:26,722 --> 01:10:31,659
[Don] I know what it's like to
stand in a body collection point truck
1062
01:10:31,727 --> 01:10:34,240
and look around at nothing
but body bags.
1063
01:10:34,264 --> 01:10:38,333
If we become complacent,
then we're going to be back
1064
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:41,336
in the middle of what
we just experienced.
1065
01:10:41,403 --> 01:10:43,983
[Reich] We don't see the end
of the crisis yet.
1066
01:10:44,007 --> 01:10:48,276
I don't see this being
so much better just because
1067
01:10:48,343 --> 01:10:51,879
fewer people are in hospitals
and intensive care units because,
1068
01:10:51,947 --> 01:10:54,482
as a society, we know that
that could happen again.
1069
01:10:56,151 --> 01:10:58,519
[woman] It's horrific how many
people died.
1070
01:10:59,888 --> 01:11:02,056
But think about how many
people we saved.
1071
01:11:03,626 --> 01:11:07,139
We treated over 10,000
people across the system
1072
01:11:07,163 --> 01:11:09,397
and we saved over 8,000.
1073
01:11:10,766 --> 01:11:13,701
There is hope,
we are not helpless.
1074
01:11:41,530 --> 01:11:46,045
[Jessica] When I sit back and I reflect
on those most intense eight weeks,
1075
01:11:46,069 --> 01:11:50,115
there was essentially a medical
code or an emergency being called
1076
01:11:50,139 --> 01:11:54,275
every 20 to 30 minutes.
That's the reality.
1077
01:11:54,343 --> 01:11:58,746
And to think of having to work
in that level of intensity again...
1078
01:12:00,148 --> 01:12:02,795
I don't know where the reserve
would come from.
1079
01:12:02,819 --> 01:12:05,953
You know, for many of us.
I don't know where the...
1080
01:12:08,957 --> 01:12:12,860
the reserve would, how it
would be there to do that.
1081
01:12:14,296 --> 01:12:15,674
I mean, we would do it.
1082
01:12:15,698 --> 01:12:16,698
[upbeat music playing]
1083
01:12:36,385 --> 01:12:39,698
♪ The hotel above and
the street below ♪
1084
01:12:39,722 --> 01:12:43,435
♪ People come and people go ♪
1085
01:12:43,459 --> 01:12:46,372
♪ All the friends that
we used to know ♪
1086
01:12:46,396 --> 01:12:48,830
♪ Ain't coming back ♪
1087
01:12:49,865 --> 01:12:52,166
♪ Ain't coming back ♪
1088
01:12:53,202 --> 01:12:55,336
♪ Ain't coming back ♪
1089
01:12:57,806 --> 01:13:01,576
♪ See, your heart has a rhythm ♪
1090
01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:08,516
♪ Well, see you got
your secret on ♪
1091
01:13:12,087 --> 01:13:16,591
♪ You say hey
and nothing to hide ♪
1092
01:13:18,894 --> 01:13:22,530
♪ You and your secret life ♪
1093
01:13:26,101 --> 01:13:30,204
♪ Don't look at the moon
tonight ♪
1094
01:13:32,107 --> 01:13:36,744
♪ You'll never be, never be
never be in Manhattan ♪
1095
01:13:39,248 --> 01:13:43,251
♪ Don't look at the moon
tonight ♪
1096
01:13:45,587 --> 01:13:50,391
♪ You can never be, never be
never be, never be Manhattan ♪