WEBVTT FILE
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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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NETFLIX PRESENTS
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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JESUS' KIND HEART
1984 - 1985
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No. No. Oh no. Please, no.
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We're gonna beat you up.
Just come here, and you'll find out.
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-No. Please, no.
-Dude, come on!
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-Come on!
-Please don't. No!
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Leave me alone, please!
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No! No! Please leave me alone!
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-No! No!
-Keep going. Keep going.
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-Come on. Hurry.
-Easy. Stay right here.
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-Take his glasses off.
-Let me see those glasses.
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I don't think
you're gonna need them anymore, huh?
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Throw him in.
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Please! No!
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-Come on, Pelofrito.
-Come on.
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Come here.
We'll give you a hand. Come.
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Come on, we gotta wash your hair.
It's dirty and gross.
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-Help!
-Get out!
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-Help!
-Come on. Get out!
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Are you seriously
shitting your pants right now?
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Come on, dude.
Otherwise, you're gonna drown!
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Pelofrito?
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What are you doing?
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He's stopped moving.
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Hey, Pelofrito!
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Did we just kill him?!
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No, please don't. No, please don't.
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Throughout the centuries,
the most enigmatic legend of all
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is the legend of Azrael the Vampire.
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The first accounts of his existence
date back to the time of Jesus Christ.
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Ever since then,
Azrael appeared regularly over the years
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and became a mysterious creature
hiding in the shadows.
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An indestructible warrior.
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A scholar of all that can't be named.
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The leader of darkness.
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But once we entered the modern era
and suffered through two world wars,
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he suddenly vanished into thin air.
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The impact he had over hundreds of years
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went up in smoke.
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No witnesses still alive
to testify they saw him.
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Or to help locate
where this fascinating creature is hiding
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until now…
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And I've found a lead
that might take me to him.
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LIDIA
ARE YOU SURE?
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You don't believe me?
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I BELIEVE THAT YOU BELIEVE.
THAT'S ENOUGH.
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Wow, Lidia.
I'm so glad I found you on this forum.
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Same here.
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I can't wait to put a face
to your name.
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Yep, that'll be awesome.
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As I was saying,
I have a lead on Azrael the Vampire.
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Javi?
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Could you warn me before coming in?
You're like a ninja.
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Son, I've told you three times
that dinner's ready.
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Come on. Wash your hands.
Who knows what you were up to.
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-I wasn't up to anything.
-I'm not judging you.
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If I was your age, my dick would look
like a monkey's butthole.
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-All red.
-I beg you to stop.
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I mean, nowadays,
everything is all messed up.
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Between the hentai porn comics, you know,
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and fast-fucking…
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Fist-fucking.
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-Where did you learn that?
-I don't know.
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I thought it was "fast"
because you wanna be done ASAP.
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To have someone put a fist up there,
all the way to your jugular,
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that's just nasty.
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Oh gosh, I thought it was "fast."
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In my teenage years,
we had those perfume commercials.
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They were all we needed.
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I trust you.
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What's for dinner?
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Well, something yummy.
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Right. And easy to defrost.
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Yeah. Correct.
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Oh man!
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"Lidia."
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Seriously? Goodness gracious.
What the heck is that?
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We're back again
on my YouTube channel, guys.
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Putastakeinit.
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Vale, maybe my last investigation
on shawarmas
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that potentially turn people into zombies
has caused me severe diarrhea.
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But this time,
I'm onto something really huge.
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A few years ago, several kids
went missing in my neighborhood.
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They said some pervert had done it,
and case closed.
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Ha!
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Careful!
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A guy in my class disappeared
last weekend. His name was Borja.
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Just a classic asshole.
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And they said
that the same pervert had done it.
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Yet I'm actually convinced
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that the reason
why these kids disappeared like this,
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has to be
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supernatural.
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A vampire.
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Hang onto your hats now!
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Because I've discovered
that creature from darkness.
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And now nothing will stand between
this hungry monster looking for blood,
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and me.
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Well, except my mother,
who cleaned up my bedroom.
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Mommy! Where's the sharpener
I use for my stakes?
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In your drawer as usual!
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It's not in the drawer.
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Don't make me
come and find it for you!
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Followers, I'm serious.
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If I die, remember…
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I'm serious, remember.
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It'll be all my mom's fault 'cause
she's obsessed with cleaning my room!
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Sister Learza! Sister Learza!
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Here are the posters we did
for poor Borja.
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MISSING
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Uh, it's the only photo
we found on his Facebook.
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I think you should try again.
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I hope he's all right and that this
deviant man isn't hurting him or anything.
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I'm sure he's a deviant.
He must be sodomizing our boy.
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I'm sure he'll come back to us
safe and sound.
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God would not allow any other outcome.
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Day after tomorrow,
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we'll go inside the lab
and rescue those poor little creatures.
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Like Greta says,
"You act first and think later."
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She never said that.
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Sara, I can't do this without you.
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You're coming for sure, right?
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Otherwise, I'll tickle you! Huh? Huh? Huh?
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Stop it! That was my tit!
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Careful.
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Dude.
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Get outta the way, dude.
You loser!
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Hello, Sara.
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Have you thought it over? Wanna date me?
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You're not her type.
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Well, it didn't really seem that way
when we used to make out all those times.
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Manu, that was back in daycare.
And we were two years old.
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I know, but…
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but I still remember that too.
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I'll try to explain again, asshole.
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Sara has nothing to do with a perv
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who sends photos
of his limp dick to all the girls.
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Sara-- Sara, that's not my photo!
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I-- I swear it's not, Sara!
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-Hey, what are you doing? Stop!
-Hey!
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You wanna hit a disabled girl?
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Come on.
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Go ahead. Make my day, dude.
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Dude, let's go. Come on.
You're not gonna hit a disabled girl.
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Come on, bro.
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Tss!
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Dude!
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Guess what I hate most in this world?
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Hm. A loss by Real Madrid?
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Yes. And what's my number two?
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A win by Barcelona?
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And my number three?
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Don't answer-- You don't need
to answer 'cause I'll tell you.
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I just hate all those fat fucks like you.
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The reason why I'm obese
has to do with some bad genes I have.
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And also the tortillas my mom makes.
They're so yummy, I gotta say.
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If you really wanna blame someone,
how 'bout you call her?
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How about I choke you
with your fucking cellphone?!
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That's it. Get him!
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-Get off me!
-Fight, guys!
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Come on! Let's go, man!
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Manu, stop it! Stop being such a butthole!
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If you beg me,
I'll stop right now, Sara.
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Come on!
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-Get off!
-Knock it off!
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Did you hear that?
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Looks like our new friend
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doesn't quite understand
how things work in here.
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I'm gonna make your life
fucking impossible, you fucking idiot.
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Let me remind you,
José Manuel Fernández Gutiérrez,
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that I am the only one in this high school
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who will ever make
anyone's life impossible, okay?
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Hello!
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You're Juan, right?
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Javi.
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Javi. Javi. Nice to meet you. I'm Sara.
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We haven't even met yet,
and we're halfway into the semester.
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Can I have it back?
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Huh?
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Oh, I'm sorry.
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I like what you said about Diego.
No one else said anything.
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-No one really likes him. He's special.
-But you like him, correct?
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Yeah.
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He and I like the same stuff.
I'm a little freaky.
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Oh, you mean
you're into vampires.
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How did you know that?
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Hey! Huh?
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Hey, loser! Yes, you, yeah.
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-Tss! Come over here.
-I gotta go.
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We need to talk. Come here! Hey!
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Go get him, guys! Go!
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-Dude!
-Only pussies run away!
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So, um, how 'bout
we go out for a drink tonight?
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No way.
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HOLLYBLOOD FORUM
AZRAEL NEW MESSAGE
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I finally talked to him!
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To Javi?
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Hm?
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Who's Javi?
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No one. Keep going.
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Remember that I had a lead
on Azrael the Vampire?
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Yes…
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He sent me a message
on the forum, and we're gonna meet!
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And guess where?
At the premiere of the HollyBlood movie!
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You could come to the premiere with me.
That way we can meet too.
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You game?
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HOLLYBLOOD FORUM
LIDIA OFFLINE
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Dad, that's me.
You're not supposed to shoot at me.
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This is really complicated.
It's just not for me.
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Oh man. Wow! This is harder than the army.
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Dad, throw a grenade.
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-What?
-Throw it.
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ELIMINATED
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Oh, he killed me before…
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That's great, huh?
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I love that we hang out together.
This is amazing.
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I guess so.
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That's for you.
I bought you a-- a new video game.
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Are you serious?
The one I mentioned the other day?
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Not the one you mentioned the other day.
However, I hope you like it.
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-I think they made a mistake at the store.
-No, son. No. They didn't mess up. No.
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"Be a princess and tame your unicorns."
What do you expect me to do with that?
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All right, listen, uh,
you're batting for the other team.
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-What?
-I'm sorry.
227
00:14:52.541 --> 00:14:55.083
You know, guys find this word offensive.
I, uh, um--
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I'm-- Uh. You're a fairy.
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Now we say "gay."
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And it wouldn't matter if I was.
But I'm not.
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Come on, well, then you're bi.
Just-- Just-- Just-- Bifidus, hm?
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Bi-transexual, bi-trans-gay,
and gay-curious?
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Sorry, I'm a little narrow-minded.
I mean, I grew up in the '80s.
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I can tell. What's wrong with you?
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Well, the other day,
I happened to see the web page where
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you were pretending to be Lidia.
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I saw all those naked guys without shirts,
and I thought, "He's something."
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It's not how it looks.
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00:15:24.125 --> 00:15:28.041
It's no problem, son. It's no problem.
You won't give me any grandkids,
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but you'll adopt a Chinese kid,
and I'll love it just as much--
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-I'm not gonna adopt a Chinese kid.
-Or a Black kid. Any color is fine.
242
00:15:34.541 --> 00:15:37.166
You know what? Next year,
we'll join the float at Gay Pride.
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00:15:37.250 --> 00:15:38.833
-In a thong! Why not?
-Papa, listen.
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-Let me explain. All right?
-Okay.
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Sara is a girl I just met
at my new school.
246
00:15:45.541 --> 00:15:49.833
And I-- I mean, I've never had the courage
to go talk to her because I-- I'm too shy.
247
00:15:49.916 --> 00:15:53.500
But one day, I overheard her saying
she's into vampires and HollyBlood
248
00:15:53.583 --> 00:15:55.541
and that she's in a chatroom, and so I…
249
00:15:56.041 --> 00:15:59.041
Well, I figured I'd join it
and, um, maybe pretend I'm Lidia.
250
00:15:59.125 --> 00:16:00.250
But why pretend?
251
00:16:00.333 --> 00:16:02.291
Just to chat a little. Nothing more.
252
00:16:02.375 --> 00:16:05.875
But the problem is,
it's all getting trickier and trickier,
253
00:16:05.958 --> 00:16:08.791
and she wants to meet in person
at the premiere of the vampire movie.
254
00:16:08.875 --> 00:16:11.791
And now there's some pervert,
a psychopath, pretending he's a vampire
255
00:16:11.875 --> 00:16:12.833
and wants to meet her.
256
00:16:12.916 --> 00:16:15.833
So I don't want her to go on her own,
but the problem is
257
00:16:17.166 --> 00:16:18.833
how can I be honest with her?
258
00:16:20.041 --> 00:16:22.708
Man, I guess I'd rather
you were a fruit, actually.
259
00:16:23.375 --> 00:16:26.125
I-- I'm sorry, gay. Gay, right?
260
00:16:28.625 --> 00:16:29.916
Tomorrow is the big day.
261
00:16:30.625 --> 00:16:32.416
Thanks to my associate…
262
00:16:32.500 --> 00:16:34.500
…Samanthaxulita,
263
00:16:35.666 --> 00:16:38.333
I've worked out that the vampire Azrael
264
00:16:38.416 --> 00:16:41.125
will be at the premiere
of that crappy movie,
265
00:16:42.583 --> 00:16:43.833
HollyBlood.
266
00:16:46.916 --> 00:16:50.291
I will avenge
the death of those kids.
267
00:16:50.375 --> 00:16:52.166
And nothing is going to stop me.
268
00:17:01.708 --> 00:17:03.000
Mommy, uh,
269
00:17:03.083 --> 00:17:04.916
the zipper on my jacket's broken.
270
00:17:05.000 --> 00:17:08.000
Then wear the fleece shirt
you got from your grandma.
271
00:17:09.583 --> 00:17:10.583
Dearest followers,
272
00:17:11.416 --> 00:17:13.708
if I'm murdered,
remember, it'll be my mother's fault
273
00:17:13.791 --> 00:17:15.916
because she buys shit coats
at a mediocre market.
274
00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:25.541
The slippers, apparently,
are great quality.
275
00:17:26.458 --> 00:17:27.666
And pretty too.
276
00:17:30.333 --> 00:17:33.083
Here you go.
I'm sorry, I lost the gift receipt.
277
00:17:33.750 --> 00:17:36.500
Don't worry about it. It should be fine.
278
00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:38.000
Hey, listen, son.
279
00:17:38.625 --> 00:17:42.541
I don't know much about video games,
but I know a lot about love.
280
00:17:43.791 --> 00:17:47.541
Mom was seeing your best friend
for two years, and you didn't even notice.
281
00:17:47.625 --> 00:17:50.458
Okay. Okay.
Let's just ignore this tiny little detail.
282
00:17:50.541 --> 00:17:51.958
I know a lot on this matter.
283
00:17:53.291 --> 00:17:56.291
So, quick question.
Uh, that girl you like, Sara,
284
00:17:56.791 --> 00:17:58.333
does she have fun with Lidia?
285
00:18:00.083 --> 00:18:01.541
-So much.
-Okay.
286
00:18:01.625 --> 00:18:04.375
And is she comfortable
talking about anything with Lidia?
287
00:18:07.583 --> 00:18:08.416
Okay.
288
00:18:08.916 --> 00:18:10.916
So, even though
you're pretending you're Lidia,
289
00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:13.458
she actually likes
the real person that's hiding.
290
00:18:13.958 --> 00:18:14.791
She does.
291
00:18:16.166 --> 00:18:18.250
Unless she's a lesbian. Is she a lesbian?
292
00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:21.041
Hm. I don't think so.
293
00:18:21.125 --> 00:18:24.041
All right. So, in that case,
just be honest with her.
294
00:18:26.083 --> 00:18:26.916
Deal?
295
00:18:55.125 --> 00:18:57.333
AZRAEL, HERE'S MY PHOTO,
SO YOU RECOGNIZE ME.
296
00:18:57.416 --> 00:18:58.458
I'M BY THE ENTRANCE
297
00:19:15.500 --> 00:19:19.458
I swear that bloodsucker's here!
But vampires don't show on camera!
298
00:19:33.250 --> 00:19:36.291
Where are you,
bloodsucking vampire motherfucker?!
299
00:19:37.583 --> 00:19:38.916
What are you talking about, fatty?
300
00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:40.916
Take back everything
you just said about vampires.
301
00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:42.916
Vampires are monsters who murder
302
00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:45.333
and not romantic HollyBlood shit.
303
00:19:45.416 --> 00:19:46.666
Wait. Vampires are magical.
304
00:19:46.750 --> 00:19:50.041
Vampires are dead,
which means you like necrophilia.
305
00:19:50.125 --> 00:19:51.208
Into what?
306
00:19:51.833 --> 00:19:53.458
Stamp collecting, you know?
307
00:19:53.541 --> 00:19:54.458
Oh, okay.
308
00:19:54.541 --> 00:19:57.166
Plus, they're hundreds of years old.
309
00:19:57.250 --> 00:19:59.500
So, technically,
you're in love with old people.
310
00:19:59.583 --> 00:20:01.250
-What the heck?!
-That's obscene.
311
00:20:01.333 --> 00:20:03.833
-What the hell-- Get outta here!
-Who do you think you are?
312
00:20:03.916 --> 00:20:05.708
Get outta here!
313
00:20:12.541 --> 00:20:13.375
Juan!
314
00:20:15.166 --> 00:20:16.666
Are you a fan of HollyBlood?
315
00:20:17.291 --> 00:20:18.125
Oh hey. Wait up.
316
00:20:18.208 --> 00:20:20.916
Perhaps we can talk for a minute?
Just before you go inside?
317
00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:22.166
Talk about what?
318
00:20:43.500 --> 00:20:44.625
Hey! Careful!
319
00:20:46.208 --> 00:20:48.833
-Wow! What are you doing?!
-What the heck?!
320
00:20:48.916 --> 00:20:49.916
Well, hello.
321
00:21:29.333 --> 00:21:30.666
I know that you're a vampire,
322
00:21:32.708 --> 00:21:34.291
and I'm willing to take the risk.
323
00:21:34.875 --> 00:21:36.958
Holly, I gotta tell you,
324
00:21:37.041 --> 00:21:39.958
although I'm a supernatural vampire
who is hundreds of years old,
325
00:21:40.041 --> 00:21:41.916
who has traveled the world
fleeing the sun,
326
00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:45.291
from the Caspian Sea to the Far East,
I've never met anyone like you.
327
00:21:53.041 --> 00:21:54.375
Holly!
328
00:22:02.208 --> 00:22:04.250
Stop kissing that vampire,
329
00:22:04.750 --> 00:22:05.958
and kiss me instead.
330
00:22:06.750 --> 00:22:08.541
Because I am a werewolf,
331
00:22:10.250 --> 00:22:11.958
and I will fight for your love.
332
00:22:23.083 --> 00:22:23.916
Holly!
333
00:22:27.583 --> 00:22:29.166
As this county's sheriff,
334
00:22:29.250 --> 00:22:32.166
I will not allow a war
between werewolves and vampires.
335
00:22:32.666 --> 00:22:35.041
And why aren't you
wearing a shirt, Sheriff?
336
00:22:35.916 --> 00:22:39.625
Because I spilled my coffee
while I was driving. In the squad car.
337
00:22:42.458 --> 00:22:44.041
Dearest followers,
338
00:22:44.791 --> 00:22:46.291
a vampire has no reflection.
339
00:22:46.375 --> 00:22:48.625
-Shh!
-Shh!
340
00:22:51.625 --> 00:22:54.708
Basically,
wherever there's a gap, there he is.
341
00:23:06.833 --> 00:23:12.583
-Hey. Hey, what the heck are you doing?
-Shh! I'm filming a vampire! Jesus!
342
00:23:13.416 --> 00:23:14.250
Sorry.
343
00:23:17.291 --> 00:23:19.500
Oh, come on!
344
00:23:20.375 --> 00:23:22.208
Go bootleg at some other film premiere.
345
00:23:23.708 --> 00:23:25.041
Get off! Let me explain.
346
00:23:25.125 --> 00:23:28.791
The vampire is here, but I need you
to clear the theater so I can find him.
347
00:23:29.541 --> 00:23:30.458
Get out of here.
348
00:23:31.375 --> 00:23:33.750
The lead actor
is at the entrance signing autographs!
349
00:24:15.916 --> 00:24:17.083
Dearest followers,
350
00:24:17.166 --> 00:24:20.291
it seems that the new kid in my class
is unnaturally strong.
351
00:24:20.375 --> 00:24:21.833
He may be another vampire.
352
00:24:28.041 --> 00:24:29.583
Get out! Get outta here!
353
00:24:36.458 --> 00:24:39.500
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
354
00:24:39.583 --> 00:24:40.708
He's a hero!
355
00:24:42.958 --> 00:24:45.000
-Bravo!
-Bravo!
356
00:24:47.708 --> 00:24:49.416
How did you stop the scaffolding?
357
00:25:00.750 --> 00:25:03.166
And the new kid at school
saved me. Juan.
358
00:25:03.250 --> 00:25:04.333
Javi.
359
00:25:05.916 --> 00:25:07.791
Did I tell you about him?
360
00:25:09.708 --> 00:25:11.583
I think so. Keep going.
361
00:25:14.708 --> 00:25:17.916
Well, Javi saved my life.
It was supernatural.
362
00:25:23.041 --> 00:25:25.500
What if Javi
is actually the vampire Azrael?
363
00:25:26.833 --> 00:25:29.916
Javi joined the school not long
after I started looking for Azrael.
364
00:25:30.416 --> 00:25:31.458
So?
365
00:25:32.583 --> 00:25:34.583
Maybe he found out
I was trying to find him
366
00:25:34.666 --> 00:25:38.083
and pretended to be a new student
so he could keep a close eye on me.
367
00:25:38.166 --> 00:25:39.833
And see if I could be trusted.
368
00:25:39.916 --> 00:25:41.958
Plus, he knew I was into vampires.
369
00:25:43.041 --> 00:25:44.083
What do you think?
370
00:25:44.166 --> 00:25:46.333
Am I crazy, or am I right?
371
00:25:47.083 --> 00:25:48.333
You're crazy.
372
00:25:48.833 --> 00:25:50.208
I wish he was Azrael.
373
00:25:50.291 --> 00:25:52.625
I wouldn't be able to resist
getting to know him.
374
00:26:01.875 --> 00:26:03.625
That's the only explanation.
375
00:26:04.916 --> 00:26:06.250
Javi is Azrael.
376
00:26:29.833 --> 00:26:31.625 line:5%
MISSING
377
00:26:36.250 --> 00:26:39.333
Dear loyal followers of putastakeinit…
378
00:26:40.208 --> 00:26:41.500
I have holy water.
379
00:26:42.041 --> 00:26:45.291
Now we'll see if my classmate,
Javier, actually is a vampire.
380
00:26:52.250 --> 00:26:55.500
Uh, it's for an experiment
in science class.
381
00:27:02.791 --> 00:27:05.208
We'll get inside the lab
and set them free.
382
00:27:05.291 --> 00:27:07.875
Thanks to us,
those poor animals will be free again.
383
00:27:10.666 --> 00:27:11.625
Are you listening?
384
00:27:12.333 --> 00:27:13.291
Mm-hm.
385
00:27:22.666 --> 00:27:23.833
How's school going?
386
00:27:26.041 --> 00:27:28.541
-Not so bad.
-So why'd your family move here?
387
00:27:28.625 --> 00:27:31.250
My parents recently divorced,
and I went to live with my father.
388
00:27:31.333 --> 00:27:32.291
Yeah.
389
00:27:32.375 --> 00:27:33.458
Clearly.
390
00:27:34.416 --> 00:27:36.375
-What?
-No, no, stuff like that happens.
391
00:27:41.416 --> 00:27:43.625
Want some? It's blood sausage.
392
00:27:43.708 --> 00:27:45.416
Not for me, thanks. Blood sausage,
393
00:27:46.166 --> 00:27:47.208
it upsets my stomach.
394
00:27:47.291 --> 00:27:49.416
Come on. It's a blood sausage sandwich.
395
00:27:50.041 --> 00:27:51.750
Kinda like any other blood sausage, no?
396
00:27:56.166 --> 00:27:58.166
Want some water? It's truly divine.
397
00:27:58.250 --> 00:27:59.083
No. Thank you.
398
00:27:59.166 --> 00:28:00.791
-You sure?
-It's really okay.
399
00:28:01.875 --> 00:28:02.958
I have my own water.
400
00:28:08.416 --> 00:28:10.250
Why are you staring at the new student?
401
00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:12.000
I'm not staring.
402
00:28:30.166 --> 00:28:31.041
Are you okay?
403
00:28:31.125 --> 00:28:32.083
You all right?
404
00:28:33.708 --> 00:28:35.458
Hey, are you okay? Hey!
405
00:28:39.708 --> 00:28:41.000
-My eye!
-I'm sorry.
406
00:28:42.458 --> 00:28:44.666
Sorry. Sorry.
407
00:28:44.750 --> 00:28:47.333
-That's so gross!
-Hey, I gotta go, okay?
408
00:28:47.875 --> 00:28:49.666
Nice meeting you.I guess.
409
00:28:51.000 --> 00:28:53.458
Come on.
Come on. Guys, run. Come on.
410
00:28:53.541 --> 00:28:56.166
You're sleeping. Come on!
José, get those legs up.
411
00:28:56.708 --> 00:28:58.041
MISSING
412
00:28:59.666 --> 00:29:00.500
Come on!
413
00:29:02.166 --> 00:29:04.708
Your secret's safe with me, Azrael.
414
00:29:09.375 --> 00:29:10.458
You figured me out.
415
00:29:11.375 --> 00:29:12.458
I knew it.
416
00:29:13.000 --> 00:29:15.916
You found out I was following you
and decided to infiltrate the school
417
00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:17.458
to see if I could be trusted.
418
00:29:18.041 --> 00:29:18.875
Exactly.
419
00:29:18.958 --> 00:29:20.791
Then that whole thing happened
at the opening,
420
00:29:20.875 --> 00:29:22.708
and you had to reveal your identity.
421
00:29:22.791 --> 00:29:23.791
Precisely.
422
00:29:23.875 --> 00:29:27.250
And you ran off because you didn't want
the police asking any questions.
423
00:29:27.333 --> 00:29:29.208
Oh wow! You're right, of course.
424
00:29:29.291 --> 00:29:33.458
Come on, guys, you need to run
in case a sodomite tries to abduct you.
425
00:29:34.500 --> 00:29:36.750
Just like that poor kid, Borja.
426
00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:42.791
That's a very impressive tactic.
427
00:29:43.583 --> 00:29:44.416
What is?
428
00:29:45.208 --> 00:29:47.791
Passing yourself off
as some wimp who's out of shape
429
00:29:47.875 --> 00:29:49.166
so that you go unnoticed.
430
00:29:49.916 --> 00:29:51.458
It's the perfect cover.
431
00:29:52.541 --> 00:29:54.500
Actually, it's not that perfect.
432
00:29:54.583 --> 00:29:58.000
I have something to ask you,
but I understand if you say no.
433
00:29:58.083 --> 00:30:00.083
Would you like to meet up with me later?
434
00:30:01.500 --> 00:30:02.416
Hey, loser!
435
00:30:05.125 --> 00:30:07.375
It's just…
I have so many questions for you and--
436
00:30:07.458 --> 00:30:10.125
-I understand if you don't wanna.
-No, of course.
437
00:30:11.083 --> 00:30:13.500
-And where?
-At my house.
438
00:30:34.416 --> 00:30:37.666
I don't know why you were talking
to my girl, but don't do it again.
439
00:30:37.750 --> 00:30:38.833
Are we clear?
440
00:30:43.791 --> 00:30:46.875
Good job, man. Good job.
What a fucking loser.
441
00:31:01.333 --> 00:31:03.791
Azrael's nothing
like what I imagined.
442
00:31:04.333 --> 00:31:05.166
How so?
443
00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:08.708
Because he's kind, sweet, gentle,
444
00:31:08.791 --> 00:31:09.958
and pretty cute.
445
00:31:13.791 --> 00:31:15.125
You think he's cute?
446
00:31:17.333 --> 00:31:19.541
Yes, but something
doesn't make sense.
447
00:31:20.208 --> 00:31:23.166
His eyes and skin. They look almost human.
448
00:31:26.291 --> 00:31:27.291
So what?
449
00:31:28.500 --> 00:31:31.666
I don't know. It's strange.
It doesn't fit with everything I've read.
450
00:31:37.625 --> 00:31:39.916
HOLLYBLOOD MAKEUP TUTORIAL
451
00:31:54.541 --> 00:31:57.083
Relax. It's what I really look like.
452
00:31:57.166 --> 00:32:00.708
I always wear makeup to look human
and put on contacts to go unnoticed.
453
00:32:01.875 --> 00:32:03.083
Who is it, Sara?
454
00:32:03.583 --> 00:32:05.791
A classmate from my high school, Grandma.
455
00:32:12.416 --> 00:32:13.333
You can do it?
456
00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:14.833
Do what?
457
00:32:14.916 --> 00:32:16.625
Go in someone's house
without being invited.
458
00:32:16.708 --> 00:32:18.666
But you-- You-- Earlier today…
459
00:32:20.208 --> 00:32:21.666
I misunderstood you, I guess.
460
00:32:22.416 --> 00:32:24.291
That's all right. I'll just go.
461
00:32:24.375 --> 00:32:25.208
No!
462
00:32:25.708 --> 00:32:28.458
It's just that vampires can't enter
a place unless they're invited.
463
00:32:28.541 --> 00:32:29.666
Or so I thought.
464
00:32:30.541 --> 00:32:34.208
Yes.
But since you invited me during our class,
465
00:32:34.750 --> 00:32:35.750
that was enough.
466
00:32:45.250 --> 00:32:48.333
Here's almost everything that's ever been
written about your species.
467
00:32:48.916 --> 00:32:49.833
That's great.
468
00:32:49.916 --> 00:32:53.958
Well, what could I show you
that you don't already know?
469
00:32:55.250 --> 00:32:56.750
Is it true that you can turn into mist?
470
00:32:57.708 --> 00:32:59.291
Well, I wouldn't call it mist.
471
00:33:00.083 --> 00:33:01.500
It's more like a haze.
472
00:33:01.583 --> 00:33:03.416
What about the whole
being-in-sunlight thing?
473
00:33:03.500 --> 00:33:07.916
-Huh. That's terrible for us.
-But I've seen you in broad daylight.
474
00:33:08.791 --> 00:33:11.583
What I mean is,
we need to put on sunscreen constantly.
475
00:33:11.666 --> 00:33:15.208
Of course, otherwise, our skin burns,
just like gringos in Mallorca.
476
00:33:18.041 --> 00:33:19.041
Really?
477
00:33:19.750 --> 00:33:21.375
Really?
478
00:33:21.458 --> 00:33:24.500
You're stalling because you don't wanna
give away your secrets.
479
00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:25.958
You figured me out.
480
00:33:26.750 --> 00:33:29.041
If this information
fell into the wrong hands,
481
00:33:29.125 --> 00:33:30.833
that could be extremely dangerous.
482
00:33:32.791 --> 00:33:34.750
-And there's one more thing.
-Tell me.
483
00:33:36.541 --> 00:33:38.708
Have you ever killed anyone?
Even without meaning to--
484
00:33:38.791 --> 00:33:42.458
No! Never, no. Of course, I don't--
I don't even drink human blood.
485
00:33:42.541 --> 00:33:43.625
So how do you survive?
486
00:33:43.708 --> 00:33:44.875
Well, I'm a vegan vampire.
487
00:33:46.208 --> 00:33:48.375
-What?
-The only blood I drink is synthetic.
488
00:33:48.875 --> 00:33:51.000
Ever had soy milk?
Well, I drink soy blood.
489
00:33:51.083 --> 00:33:52.166
It's very similar.
490
00:33:52.750 --> 00:33:55.083
It's not that great.
But you kinda get used to it.
491
00:33:56.166 --> 00:33:58.750
-Have you ever managed to--
-Your mother was gorgeous.
492
00:33:59.625 --> 00:34:02.166
How did you know she was my mom?
493
00:34:05.916 --> 00:34:09.125
Because I can read your mind.
That's one of my powers.
494
00:34:09.833 --> 00:34:12.541
Relax, I only did it
to make sure you were trustworthy.
495
00:34:12.625 --> 00:34:15.541
-But I won't do it again.
-No. No. And what else?
496
00:34:17.166 --> 00:34:20.041
Well, I can tell that you're a girl
that's really into vampires.
497
00:34:20.125 --> 00:34:21.250
Now that's cheating.
498
00:34:22.666 --> 00:34:25.708
Because when you were young,
your mom took you to watch horror movies,
499
00:34:25.791 --> 00:34:27.166
but they didn't scare you.
500
00:34:27.250 --> 00:34:30.083
Because she explained
that monsters really did exist,
501
00:34:30.625 --> 00:34:33.333
and that meant incredible things
could happen in the world.
502
00:34:33.416 --> 00:34:34.833
What else do you see?
503
00:34:36.875 --> 00:34:39.000
I see a girl who isn't scared of anything.
504
00:34:40.416 --> 00:34:41.875
Other than dancing in public.
505
00:34:44.333 --> 00:34:45.333
That's right.
506
00:34:45.416 --> 00:34:48.041
And if she ever did do it,
which isn't likely,
507
00:34:49.500 --> 00:34:51.458
she'd only do it with someone special.
508
00:34:53.083 --> 00:34:54.416
Oh wow!
509
00:34:55.625 --> 00:34:58.833
I never told anyone that.
Well, just my friend Lidia.
510
00:34:58.916 --> 00:35:01.291
-If you like, I can write to her and--
-No! No.
511
00:35:02.208 --> 00:35:03.291
No, no, no.
512
00:35:03.375 --> 00:35:05.250
Because no one else can know
who I really am.
513
00:35:06.583 --> 00:35:08.708
Imagine. It'd be over for me.
514
00:35:09.750 --> 00:35:11.166
Okay. You're right.
515
00:35:12.583 --> 00:35:13.583
You can trust me.
516
00:35:21.625 --> 00:35:23.541
Man, it's Carmen! She actually did it.
517
00:35:24.208 --> 00:35:25.416
Do you like animals?
518
00:35:26.500 --> 00:35:27.333
Hm?
519
00:35:32.125 --> 00:35:33.500
All right, you ready?
520
00:35:34.833 --> 00:35:35.833
On your marks,
521
00:35:36.583 --> 00:35:37.541
get set…
522
00:35:38.333 --> 00:35:40.958
Uh! That girl! Look!
523
00:35:41.041 --> 00:35:42.291
That little ninja!
524
00:35:42.958 --> 00:35:44.291
I'll show that rascal.
525
00:35:46.208 --> 00:35:47.458
Hey! Wait for me!
526
00:35:47.541 --> 00:35:49.333
Damn it, it's locked.
527
00:35:50.875 --> 00:35:53.041
You're late, Sara!
And what's he doing here?
528
00:35:53.125 --> 00:35:55.333
-Javi can open the door.
-A wimp like him?
529
00:35:56.416 --> 00:35:58.708
Please, we need to use your gift.
530
00:35:59.208 --> 00:36:01.541
I don't think this door
will be a problem for you.
531
00:36:01.625 --> 00:36:02.625
No.
532
00:36:05.458 --> 00:36:08.083
Sorry, I really don't know
if I should be doing this.
533
00:36:08.583 --> 00:36:11.875
Oh! You're saying that
you support those global cosmetics labs
534
00:36:11.958 --> 00:36:14.541
testing their products on poor,
innocent animals, huh?
535
00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:19.000
Fine.
536
00:36:21.666 --> 00:36:22.666
Here we go.
537
00:36:28.416 --> 00:36:29.666
Hm.
538
00:36:45.625 --> 00:36:46.541
Whatever happens,
539
00:36:47.458 --> 00:36:48.791
don't hold it against me.
540
00:36:59.833 --> 00:37:02.208
-I'm sorry! Sir! Are you all right?
-Don't move!
541
00:37:02.291 --> 00:37:03.583
No, man! No-- No.
542
00:37:03.666 --> 00:37:05.125
Get down!
543
00:37:05.208 --> 00:37:08.250
Sara! Abort plan! Abort plan!
Let's get outta here immediately!
544
00:37:08.333 --> 00:37:10.625
Wait, kid!
We're not gonna hurt you!
545
00:37:10.708 --> 00:37:12.708
-Don't move!
-No!
546
00:37:18.458 --> 00:37:21.375
You stopped the bullet?
547
00:37:23.875 --> 00:37:24.916
Let's go!
548
00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:27.958
No, man. It was a blank.
549
00:37:35.625 --> 00:37:37.625
They'll catch us!
550
00:37:37.708 --> 00:37:39.458
Why didn't we just fly away?
551
00:37:40.333 --> 00:37:43.041
I couldn't.
Police cars all have cameras.
552
00:37:58.208 --> 00:38:00.791
I know somewhere we can go. Okay?
553
00:38:02.125 --> 00:38:03.125
Yeah.
554
00:38:19.208 --> 00:38:20.458
What are you doing?
555
00:38:20.958 --> 00:38:22.291
Going into my house.
556
00:38:23.250 --> 00:38:24.250
Into your house?
557
00:38:25.708 --> 00:38:26.958
Well, it's rented.
558
00:38:29.750 --> 00:38:32.666
What about all the castles
and mansions I read about?
559
00:38:34.041 --> 00:38:34.875
I lost 'em.
560
00:38:35.625 --> 00:38:36.625
Come on, come in.
561
00:38:51.708 --> 00:38:54.333
Nice. It looks just like
a teenager's room.
562
00:38:55.041 --> 00:38:57.416
Sure. That's because
I had to get my cover right.
563
00:38:58.125 --> 00:39:00.166
So the neighbors wouldn't get suspicious.
564
00:39:05.208 --> 00:39:06.666
BE A PRINCESS AND UNICORN TAMER
565
00:39:07.250 --> 00:39:10.458
Although you're off target here.
Who would own this video game?
566
00:39:18.166 --> 00:39:19.000
Thanks.
567
00:39:19.083 --> 00:39:20.666
I know this is new to you.
568
00:39:21.166 --> 00:39:22.000
What is?
569
00:39:22.625 --> 00:39:24.750
Inviting a mortal into your sanctuary.
570
00:39:25.625 --> 00:39:26.916
It makes me feel special.
571
00:39:31.791 --> 00:39:34.250
Although I'm an immortal vampire
who is hundreds of years old
572
00:39:34.333 --> 00:39:36.083
and has traveled the world
fleeing the sun,
573
00:39:36.166 --> 00:39:38.750
from the Caspian Sea to the Far Orient,
574
00:39:38.833 --> 00:39:40.750
I've never met anyone like you before.
575
00:39:42.708 --> 00:39:43.875
That's from HollyBlood.
576
00:39:44.833 --> 00:39:45.666
Oh.
577
00:39:50.791 --> 00:39:54.625
Okay, I guess you see me
as some lovestruck little teenager
578
00:39:54.708 --> 00:39:55.875
who's into rom-coms.
579
00:39:55.958 --> 00:39:56.833
No.
580
00:39:57.458 --> 00:39:58.875
But do you know something?
581
00:40:01.166 --> 00:40:02.708
I'm not so naive after all.
582
00:40:07.875 --> 00:40:09.750
All this is really weird.
583
00:40:09.833 --> 00:40:11.041
Yeah. You're telling me.
584
00:40:12.708 --> 00:40:14.333
It's like I already knew you.
585
00:40:19.500 --> 00:40:23.708
-Who's that?
-Sorry, I didn't know you guys were…
586
00:40:25.708 --> 00:40:29.666
Wait. What did you do to your face?
You're wearing contacts. Look at you.
587
00:40:29.750 --> 00:40:32.541
Hello.
I'm Fernando. Javi's father.
588
00:40:33.583 --> 00:40:35.041
-How are you?
-Ah, he's your papa?
589
00:40:35.125 --> 00:40:37.208
No, no, no. He's not my papa.
590
00:40:37.291 --> 00:40:39.458
Of course I'm your father,
who else would I be?
591
00:40:41.250 --> 00:40:44.000
Calm down,
Svenjorgenskrunghdol… the third.
592
00:40:44.625 --> 00:40:46.958
-No need to pretend in front of her.
-Why would I pretend?
593
00:40:47.041 --> 00:40:48.375
What did you just call me?
594
00:40:48.958 --> 00:40:50.458
-This is Sara.
-Sara?
595
00:40:51.833 --> 00:40:52.750
Yes, Sara.
596
00:40:52.833 --> 00:40:55.375
Oh! Sara, yes.
597
00:40:56.666 --> 00:40:57.833
What's going on here?
598
00:40:58.416 --> 00:41:00.166
Nothing.
There's a really simple explanation.
599
00:41:00.250 --> 00:41:02.791
Easy to explain.
Uh, explain it. Explain it.
600
00:41:03.583 --> 00:41:07.500
He isn't called Fernando. He's called
Svenjorgenskrunghdol the third,
601
00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:09.375
and he's a vampire like me.
602
00:41:09.458 --> 00:41:13.333
Oh. I'm a vampire, just-- Just like him.
Svenjorgenjandel… kruder.
603
00:41:13.416 --> 00:41:14.541
-Skrunghdol.
-Krundel.
604
00:41:14.625 --> 00:41:16.125
-The third.
-The third, hm.
605
00:41:16.791 --> 00:41:18.208
So he's not your papa?
606
00:41:19.250 --> 00:41:20.250
Of course not.
607
00:41:21.500 --> 00:41:24.708
-It's sort of a disguise.
-Yes, it's like a cocktail dress.
608
00:41:25.250 --> 00:41:28.083
He pretends to be my papa
so that people don't suspect us.
609
00:41:28.166 --> 00:41:29.666
Since I'm an immortal teenager,
610
00:41:29.750 --> 00:41:32.916
I can't rent an apartment, and if I did,
neighbors would get suspicious.
611
00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:35.333
I met Svenjorgenskrunghdol the third
hundreds of years ago.
612
00:41:35.416 --> 00:41:37.041
-The third.
-He was about to die of typhus.
613
00:41:37.125 --> 00:41:38.291
-Remember?
-Of course.
614
00:41:38.375 --> 00:41:41.750
And I converted him, and now we pretend
to be father and son as a cover.
615
00:41:42.250 --> 00:41:44.083
Well, there's an explanation, right?
616
00:41:49.500 --> 00:41:51.958
I read something
about vampires forming clans
617
00:41:52.041 --> 00:41:53.208
and their internal hierarchy,
618
00:41:53.291 --> 00:41:55.166
but I never thought
I'd experience it firsthand.
619
00:41:55.250 --> 00:41:57.958
Well, I'm glad you are.
You get to learn a lot. Perfect, huh?
620
00:41:58.041 --> 00:42:00.541
Listen, my dear fake son,
I'm going back to bed.
621
00:42:01.041 --> 00:42:03.166
No! Not to sleep, Svenjorgenskrunghdol.
622
00:42:03.250 --> 00:42:06.458
You're going to your coffin
to regenerate your energy.
623
00:42:06.541 --> 00:42:07.625
That's right.
624
00:42:07.708 --> 00:42:10.125
I'm going to get that energy in my coffin.
625
00:42:10.208 --> 00:42:12.166
-Bye, Svenjorgenskrunghdol.
-See you later. Enjoy.
626
00:42:12.250 --> 00:42:14.583
Oh, it's my grand-mama.
She's not feeling well.
627
00:42:15.208 --> 00:42:16.291
I gotta go.
628
00:42:18.125 --> 00:42:19.083
I'll come with you.
629
00:42:19.750 --> 00:42:22.208
No need. See you tomorrow.
630
00:42:29.125 --> 00:42:32.291
I guess you won't
give me any grandchildren.
631
00:42:32.375 --> 00:42:34.250
Uh, this isn't a good idea.
632
00:42:36.583 --> 00:42:38.916
But this way,
Sara wants to spend time with me.
633
00:42:39.666 --> 00:42:42.875
With you? Or with the vampire
wearing makeup like George Michael?
634
00:42:54.375 --> 00:42:56.791
Dearest followers of putastakeinit!
635
00:42:57.750 --> 00:42:59.750
This stuff about vampires is a big joke.
636
00:43:00.333 --> 00:43:03.166
You know what?
I thought they didn't reflect on a video.
637
00:43:03.250 --> 00:43:04.333
But Javi can do this.
638
00:43:05.750 --> 00:43:08.666
However,
he did stop a bullet and scaffolding.
639
00:43:12.500 --> 00:43:15.625
We'll find out what he does
with this stake right here.
640
00:43:26.416 --> 00:43:28.416
This is for your parents.
641
00:43:28.500 --> 00:43:32.125
Remember, next week
we're organizing a blood drive.
642
00:43:32.208 --> 00:43:34.750
A Christian duty that you cannot miss.
643
00:43:36.333 --> 00:43:38.000
Before class begins,
644
00:43:39.125 --> 00:43:42.125
we're going to say
the Lord's Prayer for Borja,
645
00:43:42.208 --> 00:43:44.833
so he'll be returned to us safe and sound.
646
00:43:45.541 --> 00:43:49.791
Our Father, who art in Heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
647
00:43:49.875 --> 00:43:51.291
Thy kingdom come.
648
00:43:51.375 --> 00:43:54.166
Thy will be done,
on Earth as it is in Heaven.
649
00:43:54.250 --> 00:43:55.916
Give us this day our daily bread.
650
00:43:56.000 --> 00:43:57.375
Hey. Hey!
651
00:43:57.958 --> 00:43:59.750
Where did you go after the lab last night?
652
00:43:59.833 --> 00:44:01.541
-I went to Javi's house.
-What?!
653
00:44:02.291 --> 00:44:03.125
Ladies. Quiet.
654
00:44:03.916 --> 00:44:06.875
Would you like to share your thoughts
with the rest of your classmates?
655
00:44:11.416 --> 00:44:12.333
Hey.
656
00:44:15.083 --> 00:44:16.875
They told me to come here.
657
00:44:38.083 --> 00:44:41.000
Late to your first period, dear?
Unacceptable.
658
00:44:41.083 --> 00:44:43.083
I'd give you an excuse.
659
00:44:43.166 --> 00:44:46.375
But I can't think of one right now.
I promise it won't happen again.
660
00:44:47.166 --> 00:44:48.291
Swear to God.
661
00:45:02.958 --> 00:45:06.041
Come on, guys. Throw the ball.
662
00:45:06.125 --> 00:45:09.541
Come on!
Diego, you're fast asleep. Don't stop.
663
00:45:10.125 --> 00:45:12.916
Come on. Keep bouncing. Come on!
664
00:45:16.458 --> 00:45:18.875
I'm gonna put some music on
to liven things up.
665
00:45:18.958 --> 00:45:20.500
Keep bouncing. I'll be right back.
666
00:45:27.208 --> 00:45:28.458
I had a good time yesterday.
667
00:45:28.541 --> 00:45:31.500
Although I guess you already know that
since you can read my mind.
668
00:45:32.416 --> 00:45:33.250
Sure.
669
00:45:34.500 --> 00:45:36.166
But I promise not to do it again.
670
00:45:37.208 --> 00:45:38.666
What am I thinking right now?
671
00:45:41.625 --> 00:45:42.458
Sara!
672
00:45:45.416 --> 00:45:47.500
I figured out
why you're so glued to that dude.
673
00:45:47.583 --> 00:45:48.458
Oh yeah?
674
00:45:48.541 --> 00:45:50.875
Because you love the weirdos
no one else likes.
675
00:45:51.708 --> 00:45:53.416
If I liked misfits who no one likes,
676
00:45:53.500 --> 00:45:56.750
I would've gone out with you
a long time ago. Am I being clear?
677
00:46:00.750 --> 00:46:04.125
Don't try to deny it! You used to hang out
with that freak, Diego.
678
00:46:04.208 --> 00:46:06.458
And now with that loony girl
obsessed with animals.
679
00:46:07.291 --> 00:46:09.708
Why don't you dump those weirdos,
and just go out
680
00:46:10.208 --> 00:46:11.208
with me?
681
00:46:11.291 --> 00:46:12.625
Music!
682
00:46:21.333 --> 00:46:23.083
What's going on, Sara?
683
00:46:24.958 --> 00:46:26.916
Sara, what are you doing?
684
00:46:27.000 --> 00:46:28.541
-Sara?
-Shall we dance?
685
00:46:49.291 --> 00:46:50.166
Oh no.
686
00:47:45.333 --> 00:47:46.291
Whoo!
687
00:48:24.083 --> 00:48:27.041
Listen to me, you piece of shit!
I don't know why Sara likes you--
688
00:48:27.125 --> 00:48:28.333
I don't know!
689
00:48:28.416 --> 00:48:31.000
But she's mine, all mine, you get that?
690
00:48:31.083 --> 00:48:32.916
Sara's free to choose who she wants.
691
00:48:33.583 --> 00:48:36.791
Neither you, I, or any other guy
has the right to decide for her.
692
00:48:45.916 --> 00:48:48.000
So get this straight.
I'd never date a bully like you.
693
00:48:48.083 --> 00:48:48.958
Sara!
694
00:48:49.041 --> 00:48:51.958
Javi, however,
is kind, trustworthy, and helpful.
695
00:48:52.541 --> 00:48:53.625
And really cute.
696
00:48:53.708 --> 00:48:57.208
You know what? You should thank me
because I just saved your life.
697
00:48:57.291 --> 00:48:59.375
If Javi had confronted you,
you'd be in a hospital.
698
00:48:59.458 --> 00:49:00.833
He's not who you think.
699
00:49:00.916 --> 00:49:02.208
What?!
700
00:49:02.291 --> 00:49:06.000
Ouch! Sara!
Careful! Careful! Ouch! Stop! Stop! Stop!
701
00:49:07.583 --> 00:49:09.666
All right. All right. Stop. Just stop!
702
00:49:09.750 --> 00:49:11.500
I'm fine! I'm fine!
703
00:49:11.583 --> 00:49:14.250
-Come on, let's go, Javi.
-Listen to me, moron!
704
00:49:15.458 --> 00:49:18.083
I swear on Sergio Ramos
in our tenth victory,
705
00:49:19.000 --> 00:49:22.708
I am the rooster in this yard,
and you're gonna be my new chicken.
706
00:49:32.458 --> 00:49:33.958
What's happening?
707
00:49:39.333 --> 00:49:41.083
You really need to tell her.
708
00:49:42.375 --> 00:49:43.750
I'm sure she'll understand.
709
00:49:49.458 --> 00:49:51.541
That whole dancing thing got me thinking.
710
00:49:52.041 --> 00:49:54.291
As in,
we'll never be famous choreographers?
711
00:49:56.500 --> 00:49:58.625
Let's meet in front of the school tonight.
712
00:50:12.500 --> 00:50:14.000
Roofied her drink, right?
713
00:50:14.875 --> 00:50:15.833
-Come again?
-Hmm?
714
00:50:16.583 --> 00:50:18.541
I guess you roofied her drink.
I don't see how else
715
00:50:18.625 --> 00:50:20.041
you could hook up with Sara.
716
00:50:21.125 --> 00:50:23.000
-She loves the way I am.
-Hm?
717
00:50:23.083 --> 00:50:24.875
Oh? Yeah. Right.
718
00:50:24.958 --> 00:50:27.041
-She's into some hairy dude.
-Furry.
719
00:50:27.125 --> 00:50:28.208
-Introvert.
-Reserved.
720
00:50:28.291 --> 00:50:29.291
And a weirdo.
721
00:50:30.291 --> 00:50:32.416
Mysterious. Hm?
722
00:50:33.458 --> 00:50:34.708
I'm just mysterious.
723
00:50:35.541 --> 00:50:37.708
My friend, I'll say this only once.
724
00:50:38.208 --> 00:50:41.125
I'll figure out how you managed
to fool her, and I'll get rid of you, hm?
725
00:50:41.208 --> 00:50:42.791
I won't let you hurt my friend.
726
00:51:00.500 --> 00:51:01.958
Why do you look so human?
727
00:51:03.875 --> 00:51:04.708
Listen.
728
00:51:05.416 --> 00:51:06.875
I need to tell you something.
729
00:51:07.875 --> 00:51:08.875
I'll go first.
730
00:51:09.875 --> 00:51:10.875
Come on.
731
00:51:14.916 --> 00:51:16.291
Wait. What if we get caught?
732
00:51:16.375 --> 00:51:19.291
As if an immortal vampire
cared about that.
733
00:51:53.833 --> 00:51:55.333
What are we doing here?
734
00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:03.666
When my mom was diagnosed with cancer,
we used to come here every day.
735
00:52:05.666 --> 00:52:08.708
In the water, when she was swimming,
she'd feel better, and
736
00:52:08.791 --> 00:52:11.000
those were the only moments
I saw her smile.
737
00:52:11.083 --> 00:52:13.458
Since then,
I haven't had the courage to come here.
738
00:52:14.416 --> 00:52:15.500
Until now. With you.
739
00:52:28.000 --> 00:52:29.000
Do it.
740
00:52:30.916 --> 00:52:31.916
Do what?
741
00:52:32.625 --> 00:52:33.500
Turn me into one.
742
00:52:35.500 --> 00:52:36.333
Sara…
743
00:52:36.916 --> 00:52:39.666
We'll be forever young.
And we'll never get old either.
744
00:52:40.541 --> 00:52:41.750
We'll never die or suffer.
745
00:52:43.833 --> 00:52:45.000
As your mother did?
746
00:52:47.166 --> 00:52:49.750
You made me discover
that the impossible can be real.
747
00:52:49.833 --> 00:52:50.916
I know she was right.
748
00:52:52.583 --> 00:52:53.583
So please do it.
749
00:52:56.500 --> 00:52:57.416
No, I won't.
750
00:52:59.875 --> 00:53:00.708
Why not?
751
00:53:01.916 --> 00:53:02.916
Well, because…
752
00:53:06.208 --> 00:53:07.583
Because… that's a curse!
753
00:53:08.333 --> 00:53:10.625
And the thirst for blood
will eventually overwhelm you,
754
00:53:10.708 --> 00:53:11.916
and you'll have to kill.
755
00:53:12.500 --> 00:53:16.208
-I'll have the synthetic blood you have.
-Yeah, but, um, it's really gross.
756
00:53:22.625 --> 00:53:23.750
I understand.
757
00:53:23.833 --> 00:53:24.666
Really?
758
00:53:26.791 --> 00:53:28.541
-I mean, I'm sorry, it's just--
-No.
759
00:53:28.625 --> 00:53:30.750
-I should tell you--
-I've been such a fool.
760
00:53:31.250 --> 00:53:34.458
I mean, of course
you don't wanna spend eternity with me.
761
00:53:35.666 --> 00:53:39.541
Over so much time, you must have met
other girls, and I totally get it.
762
00:53:40.208 --> 00:53:42.500
I'm just one more girl. I'm just one more.
763
00:53:42.583 --> 00:53:43.541
S-- Sara.
764
00:53:44.791 --> 00:53:46.500
No, I'm okay. Don't worry.
765
00:53:50.750 --> 00:53:51.750
Sara.
766
00:54:10.625 --> 00:54:12.791
-Huh?
-Go to hell, you vampire!
767
00:54:15.125 --> 00:54:16.875
Dude, what's wrong with you?
768
00:54:17.875 --> 00:54:19.833
Hey! Why are you doing this?
769
00:54:21.083 --> 00:54:24.083
Suffer with my stinking
garlic breath, vampire!
770
00:54:24.166 --> 00:54:25.041
Beelzebub!
771
00:54:26.958 --> 00:54:29.166
Wait! W-- W-- Wait!
Look! Look! Look! Look!
772
00:54:29.250 --> 00:54:31.250
If I were a vampire,
you wouldn't see my reflection.
773
00:54:31.333 --> 00:54:34.291
Yeah, but I know you have a reflection,
thanks to my videos.
774
00:54:34.375 --> 00:54:36.333
But I'm not a vampire, Diego! Come on!
775
00:54:36.416 --> 00:54:38.458
Right. I saw you stop a bullet
and a scaffolding.
776
00:54:38.541 --> 00:54:40.500
The bullet must've been a blank, I guess.
777
00:54:40.583 --> 00:54:43.625
I didn't stop the scaffolding, okay?
It was a safety chain. It wasn't me.
778
00:54:43.708 --> 00:54:48.916
If I stab you with this stake and you die,
that will prove that you're a vampire!
779
00:54:50.625 --> 00:54:52.541
And if I'm not, I'll die. Diego!
780
00:54:52.625 --> 00:54:55.708
And if I die, you'll go to jail.
You don't wanna go to jail, right?
781
00:54:55.791 --> 00:54:57.750
Look at me. You don't wanna go to jail.
782
00:54:58.458 --> 00:55:01.125
If you're not a vampire,
then why are you pretending to be one?
783
00:55:02.958 --> 00:55:05.541
-To win the girl of my dreams.
-Yeah. Of course.
784
00:55:05.625 --> 00:55:08.166
Can you really be this dumb
to pretend to be a vampire
785
00:55:08.250 --> 00:55:09.958
just to hook up with a girl?
786
00:55:10.791 --> 00:55:13.625
Sara thought that…
that I was a vampire named Azrael,
787
00:55:13.708 --> 00:55:15.666
and I didn't have the guts
to tell her otherwise.
788
00:55:15.750 --> 00:55:17.583
She thinks you're Azrael?
789
00:55:26.666 --> 00:55:28.208
Can I go get my pants?
790
00:55:29.500 --> 00:55:30.958
Holy water never fails.
791
00:55:31.041 --> 00:55:33.166
If you were a vampire,
you'd be burning up.
792
00:55:33.666 --> 00:55:35.541
That's right. But I'm not one.
793
00:55:35.625 --> 00:55:37.541
I bet you threw the water away.
794
00:55:38.291 --> 00:55:40.708
-When?!
-You tell me. Vampires can be superfast.
795
00:55:42.416 --> 00:55:45.541
Listen, I mean, seriously,
what can I do to make you trust me?
796
00:55:58.583 --> 00:56:01.541
I had to make sure that
you actually swallowed it.
797
00:56:02.500 --> 00:56:04.291
Including sticking your tongue
inside my mouth?
798
00:56:04.375 --> 00:56:06.708
N-- N-- No. Just an involuntary reflex.
799
00:56:06.791 --> 00:56:08.541
So what's going on here?
800
00:56:09.125 --> 00:56:11.250
You guys set off the alarm.
801
00:56:14.625 --> 00:56:17.083
Thing is, we do gay satanism, Father.
802
00:56:19.083 --> 00:56:21.000
Can I go get my pants, please, Father?
803
00:56:23.583 --> 00:56:25.291
Come here!
804
00:56:25.375 --> 00:56:29.500
Come on. Let's go, slackers!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
805
00:56:46.125 --> 00:56:50.000
Jeez, Lidia, I need to talk to you.
You're the only person who gets me!
806
00:56:55.208 --> 00:56:56.833
What did that loser do to you?
807
00:56:59.416 --> 00:57:00.875
I'm gonna kill him.
808
00:57:01.625 --> 00:57:04.250
-I don't think you can.
-What do you mean?
809
00:57:06.250 --> 00:57:07.291
Come on.
810
00:57:08.625 --> 00:57:10.166
You can tell your best friend.
811
00:57:12.541 --> 00:57:14.708
You remember the premiere
of that movie HollyBlood?
812
00:57:14.791 --> 00:57:17.416
That crappy macho movie
with the shirtless guys?
813
00:57:17.500 --> 00:57:20.291
-Something unusual happened.
-Did it end up being a good movie?
814
00:57:21.666 --> 00:57:25.041
I almost got flattened, and Javi saved me
using superhuman strength.
815
00:57:27.125 --> 00:57:28.625
So he's a superhero, right?
816
00:57:28.708 --> 00:57:31.875
-No. He's a vampire.
-You're still into this nonsense?
817
00:57:32.500 --> 00:57:35.750
Oh shit. Why didn't I do the same thing
I did with Manu?
818
00:57:35.833 --> 00:57:36.916
What do you mean?
819
00:57:37.000 --> 00:57:39.916
Who else do you think spread that rumor
about Manu's micro penis?
820
00:57:40.416 --> 00:57:43.166
That was me.
Hey, but I did this for you, huh?
821
00:57:43.250 --> 00:57:45.625
To save you from dating another jerk.
822
00:57:45.708 --> 00:57:49.583
And yet, you're still into your crap
about vampires, Sara.
823
00:57:50.083 --> 00:57:53.250
Come on, open your eyes.
Life is not a My Little Pony show.
824
00:57:54.916 --> 00:57:56.083
I need to be alone.
825
00:57:58.125 --> 00:57:59.041
Then be alone.
826
00:57:59.833 --> 00:58:02.208
But remember
that I'm the only one you can trust.
827
00:58:02.291 --> 00:58:04.333
The only one!
828
00:58:06.833 --> 00:58:09.333
And those fucking vampires do not exist!
829
00:58:16.250 --> 00:58:18.875
Hey, Sara,
you've been avoiding me all day.
830
00:58:19.375 --> 00:58:20.625
We need to talk.
831
00:58:20.708 --> 00:58:22.833
That's right. We definitely need to talk.
832
00:58:26.250 --> 00:58:28.500
See that? Apart from not being photogenic,
833
00:58:28.583 --> 00:58:30.583
if he was a vampire,
he wouldn't appear on the photo.
834
00:58:30.666 --> 00:58:32.625
-That's what all the movies say.
-Carmen!
835
00:58:32.708 --> 00:58:34.791
Don't "Carmen" me!
Can't you see he's using you?
836
00:58:34.875 --> 00:58:36.875
Can't you see that? Jesus Christ!
837
00:58:36.958 --> 00:58:38.166
Vampires don't exist!
838
00:58:38.250 --> 00:58:39.416
Stop it, Carmen.
839
00:58:40.125 --> 00:58:43.291
If he's so strong, he should prove it
by stopping a car in its tracks.
840
00:58:43.375 --> 00:58:46.250
He doesn't need to prove anything.
I trust him, okay?
841
00:58:57.833 --> 00:58:59.208
What are you doing?
842
00:59:11.166 --> 00:59:13.458
Let's see
if you can stop this car.
843
00:59:20.750 --> 00:59:22.708
What are you doing? I have to help her!
844
00:59:30.041 --> 00:59:31.000
What are you doing?
845
00:59:32.000 --> 00:59:32.916
Quiet.
846
00:59:34.708 --> 00:59:36.875
I'm going to show you
this guy isn't Azrael,
847
00:59:36.958 --> 00:59:38.833
the vampire you've been looking for
848
00:59:38.916 --> 00:59:41.375
and were supposed to meet
at the HollyBlood premiere.
849
00:59:41.458 --> 00:59:42.875
How do you know all that?
850
00:59:43.583 --> 00:59:44.791
I am Azrael.
851
00:59:44.875 --> 00:59:46.916
And this asshole isn't a vampire.
852
00:59:47.000 --> 00:59:48.791
He's just been using you.
853
00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:52.208
I don't know what you want,
but you're lying.
854
00:59:55.041 --> 00:59:57.500
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
855
00:59:58.125 --> 00:59:58.958
Sara.
856
01:00:00.291 --> 01:00:02.166
What are you doing? Stop!
857
01:00:02.791 --> 01:00:04.625
Javi, do something!
858
01:00:05.875 --> 01:00:09.125
Grab your cellphone and take our photo.
And open your eyes.
859
01:00:21.125 --> 01:00:22.958
So this means you're not a vampire?
860
01:00:24.375 --> 01:00:26.750
But the scaffolding? And that bullet?
861
01:00:26.833 --> 01:00:30.041
No idea, but-- but I saw it was gonna
fall on you and I rushed to
862
01:00:30.541 --> 01:00:33.083
hold on and there was a chain
that helped stop it.
863
01:00:33.166 --> 01:00:36.583
And as for the bullet, I have no idea.
I guess it was a blank.
864
01:00:38.458 --> 01:00:41.208
You used this poor girl
so you could hook up with her.
865
01:00:41.291 --> 01:00:42.666
What am I gonna do with you?
866
01:00:45.541 --> 01:00:46.916
Just let him go.
867
01:00:47.708 --> 01:00:48.541
Please.
868
01:01:03.583 --> 01:01:06.208
If you tell anyone who I am
869
01:01:06.291 --> 01:01:07.875
or ever come near Sara…
870
01:01:14.791 --> 01:01:16.958
Do you wanna get to know the real Azrael?
871
01:01:19.250 --> 01:01:20.250
Carmen.
872
01:01:43.458 --> 01:01:46.166
So someone at your school
is an immortal vampire
873
01:01:46.250 --> 01:01:49.416
who's hundreds of years old,
and he found out that you're not a vampire
874
01:01:49.500 --> 01:01:51.333
and that you were pretending to be him,
875
01:01:51.416 --> 01:01:53.541
and now he's gonna go out
with the girl you were dating
876
01:01:53.625 --> 01:01:55.583
because she thought you were a vampire?
877
01:01:56.208 --> 01:01:58.666
Vampire. Yes. That's it.
878
01:02:00.541 --> 01:02:01.416
Look, kiddo.
879
01:02:01.958 --> 01:02:04.583
If I wanted to hear nonsense
about teenage vampires,
880
01:02:04.666 --> 01:02:07.083
I'd go to the movie theater
and watch HollyBlood.
881
01:02:08.000 --> 01:02:11.416
And if you're that worried,
get help from a vampire slayer.
882
01:02:16.375 --> 01:02:19.166
Put it all the way in.
Put it deep inside, big guy.
883
01:02:19.250 --> 01:02:21.041
I knew it! I knew that…
884
01:02:21.125 --> 01:02:22.625
-Huh?
-Can… You…
885
01:02:22.708 --> 01:02:24.958
Can-- Can you tell me
what you guys are doing?
886
01:02:26.375 --> 01:02:29.666
I'm Diego, the vampire slayer.
Right in the heart, come on.
887
01:02:29.750 --> 01:02:30.833
Who is this guy?
888
01:02:35.458 --> 01:02:36.291
All right, Dad,
889
01:02:36.375 --> 01:02:38.541
I know this is gonna sound
a little crazy to you,
890
01:02:38.625 --> 01:02:41.125
but we're training and getting ready
to slay an immortal vampire.
891
01:02:41.208 --> 01:02:42.750
-Mm-hmm.
-Nah.
892
01:02:42.833 --> 01:02:46.500
A little crazy would be telling me
that you'd like to get a tattoo.
893
01:02:46.583 --> 01:02:50.000
What you just said is enough
to get you sent away forever, okay?
894
01:02:50.083 --> 01:02:52.416
It's already weird
that you're trying to look like a vampire
895
01:02:52.500 --> 01:02:54.291
just to hook up
with that young lady, Sara.
896
01:02:54.958 --> 01:02:57.375
That was some premium-level stalking.
Can't deny that.
897
01:02:58.000 --> 01:03:00.041
For sure. I said to myself,
"That's part of puberty."
898
01:03:00.125 --> 01:03:02.291
"It's a tough age.
You gotta give him some space."
899
01:03:02.375 --> 01:03:04.791
Right? But you're pushing it
to the limit, come on.
900
01:03:04.875 --> 01:03:07.291
Listen, Dad,
whether you believe it or not,
901
01:03:07.375 --> 01:03:10.083
if we don't stop that creature,
Sara's gonna be in trouble.
902
01:03:11.583 --> 01:03:14.166
I swear on Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
he's not lying.
903
01:03:14.250 --> 01:03:18.250
That bloodsucker goes by the name
of Azrael, and this is what he looks like.
904
01:03:21.625 --> 01:03:24.625
Well, the name of that kid is not Azrael.
He was in my class.
905
01:03:24.708 --> 01:03:27.708
His name was Antonio Caldera or Pelofrito.
906
01:03:31.500 --> 01:03:32.458
Pelofrito?
907
01:03:32.541 --> 01:03:36.250
They found him in the street.
He was soaking wet and disoriented.
908
01:03:36.333 --> 01:03:38.458
No idea how he'd ended up out there.
909
01:03:38.541 --> 01:03:41.208
It was on the same night
a pervert abducted those boys.
910
01:03:41.291 --> 01:03:44.458
Maybe he abducted him too?
And then he ran away.
911
01:03:44.541 --> 01:03:48.041
But of course, right before he ran away,
he went on to…
912
01:03:50.291 --> 01:03:51.750
Get to the point, Dad.
913
01:03:51.833 --> 01:03:54.625
After that, he changed.
Not at all like he used to be.
914
01:03:54.708 --> 01:03:56.583
And the next day, he vanished.
915
01:03:56.666 --> 01:04:00.083
But the worst part about that,
really the weirdest freaking thing,
916
01:04:00.708 --> 01:04:01.708
was that…
917
01:04:01.791 --> 01:04:02.625
-What?
-What?
918
01:04:02.708 --> 01:04:05.666
…right before he ran away
he hooked up with my girlfriend.
919
01:04:05.750 --> 01:04:07.000
My Mariana.
920
01:04:08.875 --> 01:04:10.500
Let's see.
921
01:04:13.291 --> 01:04:14.625
It's like in those movies
922
01:04:14.708 --> 01:04:17.666
when they take the glasses off
the ugly girl, and she becomes hot.
923
01:04:18.333 --> 01:04:19.958
But if Azrael isn't Azrael,
924
01:04:20.708 --> 01:04:22.500
then who is Azrael?
925
01:04:24.125 --> 01:04:25.291
I got no idea.
926
01:04:28.750 --> 01:04:29.708
Whoever that is,
927
01:04:31.333 --> 01:04:32.708
I won't let him hurt Sara.
928
01:04:33.375 --> 01:04:36.458
Look, son, I'm not sure I believe
all this nonsense about vampires,
929
01:04:36.541 --> 01:04:40.166
but I won't permit anyone
to hurt my soon-to-be daughter-in-law.
930
01:04:40.250 --> 01:04:41.208
Enough talk!
931
01:04:43.041 --> 01:04:44.541
It's time to go hunting, guys.
932
01:04:46.541 --> 01:04:48.000
Argh!
933
01:05:04.166 --> 01:05:05.666
Dad, your jacket?
934
01:05:05.750 --> 01:05:07.916
This is the jacket
I used to wear to school.
935
01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:09.500
Makes me feel powerful.
936
01:05:09.583 --> 01:05:11.833
And I look sexy in it, eh? Don't I?
937
01:05:30.833 --> 01:05:32.166
Why did you bring me here?
938
01:05:33.125 --> 01:05:34.208
It's a surprise.
939
01:05:35.750 --> 01:05:36.750
Stand back.
940
01:05:52.000 --> 01:05:53.333
My God…
941
01:05:54.416 --> 01:05:57.666
Goodness gracious!
Maybe we can't handle this guy.
942
01:05:58.875 --> 01:06:00.958
No-- I'm not saying it because of me.
943
01:06:01.041 --> 01:06:03.875
I'm saying it for you guys.
The weaker guys in the group.
944
01:06:05.166 --> 01:06:08.166
My goodness, that's Pelofrito.
I can't believe my eyes.
945
01:06:10.250 --> 01:06:11.500
We're gonna need backup.
946
01:06:12.083 --> 01:06:14.750
I mean, more than backup. A real army.
947
01:06:14.833 --> 01:06:16.666
Tough guys who don't think too much.
948
01:06:19.333 --> 01:06:20.291
Diego.
949
01:06:20.916 --> 01:06:22.250
Do you have Manu's number?
950
01:06:25.375 --> 01:06:26.708
-Let's go!
-Come on!
951
01:06:26.791 --> 01:06:27.625
Let's go!
952
01:06:28.541 --> 01:06:32.666
We're winning, yeah! Let's go! Come on!
953
01:06:34.541 --> 01:06:36.500 line:5%
DIEGO
SARA AND THE GUY WHO BROKE YOUR FINGER
954
01:06:36.583 --> 01:06:38.541 line:5%
ARE HOOKING UP AT SCHOOL
AND LAUGHING AT YOU.
955
01:06:38.625 --> 01:06:39.541 line:5%
What's up?
956
01:06:42.291 --> 01:06:45.416
Hey, where you going?
That's a Real Madrid game. That's sacred.
957
01:06:45.500 --> 01:06:46.708
There's something more sacred.
958
01:06:46.791 --> 01:06:48.708
Real Madrid in the Champions League match?
959
01:06:48.791 --> 01:06:49.708
No, Quini.
960
01:06:50.791 --> 01:06:51.958
That's honor.
961
01:06:53.958 --> 01:06:56.125
And does honor require punching people?
962
01:06:56.625 --> 01:06:57.833
Yeah, no doubt about it.
963
01:07:02.041 --> 01:07:02.875
Let's go.
964
01:07:06.583 --> 01:07:08.541
How many rubbers do we have?
965
01:07:09.041 --> 01:07:09.958
At least 100.
966
01:07:10.750 --> 01:07:15.375
Son, I know this isn't the right time,
but I love it when we do stuff together.
967
01:07:25.666 --> 01:07:27.166
What are we doing here?
968
01:07:27.833 --> 01:07:30.291
I can give you
what that phony promised you.
969
01:07:30.375 --> 01:07:31.833
Wanna live forever?
970
01:07:37.916 --> 01:07:39.000
I am prepared for it.
971
01:07:53.541 --> 01:07:55.416
That's what you wanted, right?
972
01:07:55.500 --> 01:07:56.958
What are you doing?
973
01:07:57.791 --> 01:07:59.500
You were supposed to transform me.
974
01:08:00.291 --> 01:08:01.666
Oh, don't play hard to get.
975
01:08:02.416 --> 01:08:03.458
Wanna be immortal?
976
01:08:04.125 --> 01:08:05.333
Do it for your mother.
977
01:08:07.416 --> 01:08:08.791
Well, I'm having second thoughts.
978
01:08:08.875 --> 01:08:10.500
-Now get outta my way or--
-What?
979
01:08:10.583 --> 01:08:11.750
What you gonna do to me?
980
01:08:12.708 --> 01:08:14.083
What I'd do to any other dude!
981
01:08:19.583 --> 01:08:21.666
I swear on Real Madrid,
982
01:08:21.750 --> 01:08:24.250
the most sacred thing
in the whole wide world,
983
01:08:24.333 --> 01:08:26.208
no one laughs at me!
984
01:08:31.500 --> 01:08:36.083
Oh, matador!
985
01:08:36.166 --> 01:08:38.416
-Oh yeah! You told him!
-Yeah.
986
01:08:38.500 --> 01:08:40.208
-You killed him!
-Ow, dick!
987
01:08:40.291 --> 01:08:41.583
Don't change, dude.
988
01:08:44.833 --> 01:08:46.958
-Don't fuck about.
-He's out cold.
989
01:08:47.041 --> 01:08:48.250
Did you kill him?
990
01:08:48.875 --> 01:08:50.541
-You killed him.
-He's not moving?
991
01:08:51.791 --> 01:08:52.958
It was self-defense.
992
01:08:54.375 --> 01:08:55.375
You saw that.
993
01:08:56.083 --> 01:08:58.250
-Yeah.
-Yeah, let's get outta here.
994
01:09:03.208 --> 01:09:04.500
Run!
995
01:09:04.583 --> 01:09:06.250
Run! Run! Get outta here!
996
01:09:23.416 --> 01:09:26.041
Ah! Fuck!
997
01:09:26.125 --> 01:09:27.500
What are you doing here?
998
01:09:28.083 --> 01:09:29.708
Sara came to see me in the hospital,
999
01:09:29.791 --> 01:09:33.041
told me she'd arranged to meet the new guy
and that I might never see her again.
1000
01:09:34.333 --> 01:09:37.416
I can't believe this!
A fucking vampire!
1001
01:09:37.500 --> 01:09:39.625
A fucking vampire, dude!
1002
01:09:39.708 --> 01:09:42.000
A fucking vampire!
1003
01:09:42.083 --> 01:09:43.916
Hey, look. There's our backup, guys.
1004
01:09:44.958 --> 01:09:45.791
What?
1005
01:09:45.875 --> 01:09:46.833
Let's go. Let's go.
1006
01:09:57.125 --> 01:10:01.125
-Let's get out this way!
-No, no, dude! Please no!
1007
01:10:02.333 --> 01:10:03.750
The thing you said earlier
1008
01:10:04.500 --> 01:10:05.458
about Real Madrid?
1009
01:10:05.541 --> 01:10:08.041
Yes! Yes! I love 'em to death!
1010
01:10:08.625 --> 01:10:11.500
I won't hurt you
if you sing the fight song for Barcelona.
1011
01:10:11.583 --> 01:10:12.416
What?
1012
01:10:13.375 --> 01:10:14.250
No!
1013
01:10:14.333 --> 01:10:16.125
Sing that fucking anthem right now!
1014
01:10:32.458 --> 01:10:33.375
Stop it, Azrael!
1015
01:10:34.500 --> 01:10:36.958
Or should we call you Pelofrito?
1016
01:10:37.500 --> 01:10:40.166
We know you're a fucking liar!
You're gonna get soaked in holy water.
1017
01:10:40.250 --> 01:10:41.250
Now!
1018
01:10:51.458 --> 01:10:53.541
Don't you dare touch my-- Shit!
1019
01:11:06.000 --> 01:11:09.625
Eat the rubbers. Eat the damn rubbers.
1020
01:11:15.041 --> 01:11:18.500
If you hadn't crossed my path,
none of this woulda happened to me.
1021
01:11:19.083 --> 01:11:22.250
-Just so we're clear, no means no!
-I've had enough, feminazi!
1022
01:11:22.333 --> 01:11:24.833
-Don't touch her, asshole!
-What are you doing here?
1023
01:11:24.916 --> 01:11:26.583
-Sara's mine!
-Wait, you can walk?
1024
01:11:28.166 --> 01:11:30.000
We'll talk about this later, okay?
1025
01:11:30.083 --> 01:11:33.166
Mine! Mine!
When you gonna get this straight!
1026
01:11:36.666 --> 01:11:39.125
A vampire! A vampire!
1027
01:12:03.916 --> 01:12:06.541
We'll avenge the death
of those boys you killed years ago.
1028
01:12:06.625 --> 01:12:08.875
And also that dunce, Borja.
1029
01:12:08.958 --> 01:12:12.166
I've never killed anyone, I swear.
I'm not a murderer!
1030
01:12:13.041 --> 01:12:15.541
I hook up with girls
by promising to convert them.
1031
01:12:15.625 --> 01:12:16.916
We hang out. I drink some blood.
1032
01:12:17.000 --> 01:12:19.875
They're happy, a bit rundown,
just like mononucleosis, basically.
1033
01:12:19.958 --> 01:12:21.541
Ha! Samanthaxulita almost fell for it.
1034
01:12:21.625 --> 01:12:23.541
You told her the same thing
so you could kill her.
1035
01:12:23.625 --> 01:12:25.708
Do you know her? Ask her.
1036
01:12:25.791 --> 01:12:26.875
That's not necessary.
1037
01:12:27.833 --> 01:12:29.958
-Here she is, actually.
-Hm?
1038
01:12:32.041 --> 01:12:35.291
That was the only way I could contact
the vampire and see what he looked like.
1039
01:12:35.375 --> 01:12:36.416
So it was you?
1040
01:12:37.541 --> 01:12:40.791
-But if you're the girl that I met--
-Don't ever trust online chats.
1041
01:12:41.458 --> 01:12:42.875
Enough chitchatting.
1042
01:12:44.166 --> 01:12:47.583
Please, come on! You guys just said that.
I'm not Azrael. I'm Pelofrito.
1043
01:12:47.666 --> 01:12:50.416
I'm a poseur.
I don't even know how I turned into this.
1044
01:12:50.500 --> 01:12:52.625
No one can touch my Sara. No one.
1045
01:12:52.708 --> 01:12:55.166
On one, on two, and on…
1046
01:12:55.250 --> 01:12:56.750
Stop it!
1047
01:12:56.833 --> 01:12:59.833
-We have to call the police.
-No. I'll take care of this.
1048
01:12:59.916 --> 01:13:02.750
What do you mean, no?
They're probably the ones that sodomized…
1049
01:13:02.833 --> 01:13:04.083
…our poor Borja.
1050
01:13:04.166 --> 01:13:05.166
I told you…
1051
01:13:06.125 --> 01:13:07.958
I'll take care of it.
1052
01:13:10.458 --> 01:13:12.583
I will devour every bit of your being!
1053
01:13:12.666 --> 01:13:14.583
I should've sent you to a public school.
1054
01:13:17.458 --> 01:13:20.750
-The door! What the heck is that?!
-You, come here.
1055
01:13:20.833 --> 01:13:21.916
Push harder!
1056
01:13:22.000 --> 01:13:25.041
Now I'm going to kill you
like I intended so many years ago.
1057
01:13:25.125 --> 01:13:27.791
You turned me into this? Why?
1058
01:13:27.875 --> 01:13:30.291
Because
I was expecting you to seek revenge.
1059
01:13:30.375 --> 01:13:33.833
Hoping you would murder them.
But you've never had the guts to.
1060
01:13:33.916 --> 01:13:36.500
Of course!
"Azrael" is "Learza" spelled backwards.
1061
01:13:36.583 --> 01:13:37.875
She is Azrael!
1062
01:13:37.958 --> 01:13:41.166
A vampire that doesn't murder
is an aberration!
1063
01:13:42.250 --> 01:13:45.333
Stay away from my girlfriend,
you mon-sister!
1064
01:13:50.416 --> 01:13:53.125
You'll get soaked in holy w--
Jesus, there's two of them!
1065
01:13:53.208 --> 01:13:54.958
Get the nun!
1066
01:14:00.208 --> 01:14:02.458
-A condom?
-What do you expect? It's all I had!
1067
01:14:02.541 --> 01:14:04.666
My eyes! They burn!
1068
01:14:04.750 --> 01:14:06.125
My eyes!
1069
01:14:06.208 --> 01:14:08.666
I'm going to eviscerate your bodies.
1070
01:14:12.041 --> 01:14:14.875
-We need to get the hell out of here!
-No!
1071
01:14:15.750 --> 01:14:18.833
Borja didn't taste good,
but now I will feast!
1072
01:14:20.083 --> 01:14:21.416
We gotta get away!
1073
01:14:24.125 --> 01:14:25.333
What's bugging you, son?
1074
01:14:26.083 --> 01:14:28.958
It's no use trying to run away.
She knows us all.
1075
01:14:29.041 --> 01:14:31.166
So what? We'll go to the police.
1076
01:14:31.666 --> 01:14:34.000
They'll think we're crazy.
I already tried.
1077
01:14:35.208 --> 01:14:38.000
If we find a way out,
she'll hunt us down one by one.
1078
01:14:40.583 --> 01:14:42.500
We've gotta kill her while she's weak.
1079
01:14:43.000 --> 01:14:45.666
Really? But that idiot's stakes
are no use.
1080
01:14:47.125 --> 01:14:48.125
I know.
1081
01:14:49.500 --> 01:14:50.875
That's why we need more weapons.
1082
01:14:52.708 --> 01:14:54.250
Go, go, go, go!
1083
01:14:55.041 --> 01:14:57.333
Shit. There's no holy water left.
1084
01:14:57.416 --> 01:14:59.500
We used it all up
with the whole condom thing.
1085
01:14:59.583 --> 01:15:00.791
Now you tell me.
1086
01:15:01.916 --> 01:15:05.166
Let's find anything that's been blessed
that might weaken that creature. Let's go.
1087
01:15:05.250 --> 01:15:06.083
Let's go.
1088
01:15:06.166 --> 01:15:09.291
You always mess things up, Manu!
This is all your fault!
1089
01:15:09.375 --> 01:15:10.375
Look who's talking now!
1090
01:15:10.458 --> 01:15:14.000
Wait, hold on! So now you…
now you're walking, is that right?
1091
01:15:14.083 --> 01:15:16.000
Well, I can explain. It's very simple.
1092
01:15:16.083 --> 01:15:19.083
I had sprained my ankle when Sara met me,
and she thought I was disabled, okay?
1093
01:15:19.916 --> 01:15:20.916
-Okay.
-Yeah.
1094
01:15:23.166 --> 01:15:26.250
Thing is, you were so kind
I just couldn't tell you the truth.
1095
01:15:26.333 --> 01:15:28.458
But you and I can still be besties, right?
1096
01:15:28.541 --> 01:15:31.000
Come on, enough chitchat.
We gotta kill Azrael.
1097
01:15:31.083 --> 01:15:34.791
-You mean, the real Azrael.
-Why did you pretend you were Azrael?
1098
01:15:35.375 --> 01:15:37.666
Do you know what it's like
to be a teenager forever?
1099
01:15:39.000 --> 01:15:41.083
In movies like HollyBlood it seems cool.
1100
01:15:42.625 --> 01:15:45.875
But you realize you can't open up
a bank account or rent an apartment.
1101
01:15:46.375 --> 01:15:48.208
You get crappy jobs and crappy pay.
1102
01:15:48.291 --> 01:15:51.333
If you can find the vampire
that changed you and then murder him,
1103
01:15:51.416 --> 01:15:52.541
you can be human again.
1104
01:15:52.625 --> 01:15:54.750
That's right. This is technically correct.
1105
01:15:57.333 --> 01:15:59.291
I found out about
the legend of Azrael.
1106
01:15:59.375 --> 01:16:02.291
Then I heard about Borja
on the Facebook group for alumni.
1107
01:16:02.375 --> 01:16:05.500
I realized that the creature that
changed me was at our high school.
1108
01:16:06.250 --> 01:16:07.333
But apparently,
1109
01:16:07.833 --> 01:16:09.000
she's always been here.
1110
01:16:09.083 --> 01:16:10.208
Of course!
1111
01:16:10.958 --> 01:16:13.000
That's why we have
the annual blood drive at school.
1112
01:16:13.083 --> 01:16:14.708
Then why did she murder Borja?
1113
01:16:16.291 --> 01:16:19.333
Because it's important
to maintain some good habits.
1114
01:16:20.666 --> 01:16:21.583
Help them!
1115
01:16:28.875 --> 01:16:32.500
Who votes for Pelofrito going out there
and getting rid of that monster?
1116
01:16:32.583 --> 01:16:34.375
-Yes.
-No fucking way!
1117
01:16:34.458 --> 01:16:37.083
It would take an army of vampires
to get rid of that creature.
1118
01:16:38.041 --> 01:16:38.875
Exactly!
1119
01:16:38.958 --> 01:16:41.500
If we drink your blood, we'll change,
and we can beat her together.
1120
01:16:41.583 --> 01:16:44.125
-It'll take more than two of you.
-Count me out of this, guys.
1121
01:16:44.208 --> 01:16:46.208
I took an oath as a vampire slayer,
so I can't.
1122
01:16:46.291 --> 01:16:48.208
Watch out! Here she comes!
1123
01:16:48.291 --> 01:16:49.416
Take this.
1124
01:16:54.000 --> 01:16:56.041
I will have you all soon!
1125
01:16:56.541 --> 01:16:59.875
-I have all eternity!
-Who wants to go first?
1126
01:17:02.541 --> 01:17:05.041
You'll come out eventually,
1127
01:17:05.125 --> 01:17:06.250
you rats!
1128
01:17:24.500 --> 01:17:26.958
If we kill a nun, will we burn in hell?
1129
01:17:27.041 --> 01:17:30.208
Don't worry about it.
Three Lord's Prayers and all is forgiven.
1130
01:17:30.291 --> 01:17:32.041
You bunch of amateurs.
1131
01:17:39.500 --> 01:17:42.083
You're going to pay
for everything you've done to us!
1132
01:17:46.416 --> 01:17:47.750
She's flying away!
1133
01:17:49.083 --> 01:17:50.250
She's mine!
1134
01:17:51.625 --> 01:17:52.708
Let me go!
1135
01:17:52.791 --> 01:17:54.541
Think. Think.
1136
01:17:54.625 --> 01:17:56.750
Holy water's
the only thing that harms her.
1137
01:17:56.833 --> 01:17:58.625
I gotta pee, then. In the pool!
1138
01:17:58.708 --> 01:18:00.833
Pelofrito made me drink balloons of water,
1139
01:18:00.916 --> 01:18:03.666
so, technically, my urine is holy water.
1140
01:18:03.750 --> 01:18:06.583
We need to get her to the pool! Grab her!
1141
01:18:06.666 --> 01:18:07.666
Come on!
1142
01:18:12.125 --> 01:18:13.916
Let me go. Let me go!
1143
01:18:22.083 --> 01:18:26.541
When I'm done with you,
I'll go after your families.
1144
01:18:26.625 --> 01:18:28.666
-Come on!
-I can't when people are watching.
1145
01:18:33.416 --> 01:18:36.291
Yeah!
1146
01:18:38.208 --> 01:18:40.333
The water in the pool
has now been blessed!
1147
01:18:40.416 --> 01:18:41.916
Throw her in!
1148
01:18:46.958 --> 01:18:48.625
It burns!
1149
01:18:57.250 --> 01:18:58.750
What is going on here?
1150
01:19:13.500 --> 01:19:15.000
She's transformed.
1151
01:19:15.083 --> 01:19:16.708
Into a hottie.
1152
01:19:16.791 --> 01:19:19.208
What are you doing?
Push her in. We have to kill her.
1153
01:19:19.291 --> 01:19:22.583
Yes, but we should let the girl
explain herself first, right?
1154
01:19:24.916 --> 01:19:26.458
Papa, Manu, you guys, wake up!
1155
01:19:26.541 --> 01:19:29.458
Yeah, sure. It's easy for you
because you're in love, but--
1156
01:19:29.541 --> 01:19:30.750
Hey, are you cold or something?
1157
01:19:30.833 --> 01:19:32.500
If you let me go,
1158
01:19:33.416 --> 01:19:34.625
we'll have some fun.
1159
01:19:34.708 --> 01:19:36.416
She's using mind control!
1160
01:19:37.250 --> 01:19:38.916
Carmen! Help me!
1161
01:19:45.291 --> 01:19:46.750
The Lidia you knew online
1162
01:19:48.541 --> 01:19:49.750
really does exist,
1163
01:19:50.708 --> 01:19:51.916
and she's in front of you.
1164
01:19:55.250 --> 01:19:56.250
I'm sorry.
1165
01:20:19.625 --> 01:20:20.500
My God!
1166
01:20:41.916 --> 01:20:43.125
Oh my God, I'm human.
1167
01:20:43.208 --> 01:20:44.041
Javi!
1168
01:20:44.958 --> 01:20:45.791
Javi!
1169
01:20:48.416 --> 01:20:49.666
We're human again.
1170
01:20:51.041 --> 01:20:52.041
Javi!
1171
01:20:53.875 --> 01:20:55.583
Javi!
1172
01:20:58.291 --> 01:20:59.500
Javi!
1173
01:21:06.833 --> 01:21:08.083
Holy crap!
1174
01:21:21.916 --> 01:21:23.291
He's all right?
1175
01:21:23.375 --> 01:21:24.375
Yoo-hoo.
1176
01:21:30.500 --> 01:21:31.958
Oh, son! Oh!
1177
01:21:33.166 --> 01:21:34.500
You scared me.
1178
01:21:35.666 --> 01:21:36.666
I'm sorry.
1179
01:21:38.500 --> 01:21:40.958
Whoo! For a minute,
I really thought that was it, huh?
1180
01:21:41.041 --> 01:21:44.250
I'm so glad you're back.
Because we have unfinished business.
1181
01:21:48.708 --> 01:21:50.833
I may well become a Buddhist.
1182
01:21:59.583 --> 01:22:01.125
Whoo!
1183
01:22:25.875 --> 01:22:28.208
Do we really
have to watch this movie again?
1184
01:22:31.875 --> 01:22:34.708
Honestly, I think this is
the worst thing I've ever seen.
1185
01:22:35.208 --> 01:22:36.958
Except for that vampire nun, right?
1186
01:22:38.000 --> 01:22:40.125
No way. This is much worse.
1187
01:22:41.791 --> 01:22:44.375
At least here
they can only die of severe pneumonia.