WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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Ladies and gentlemen, what a pleasure it
is to be here this evening.

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I'd like to take a second
to let you know...

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This is one of the most beautiful
audiences I ever seen in my goddamn life.

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You niggas came to see...

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When I say niggas...

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I mean all of us.

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White people,
y'all in the building this evening?

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-Make some noise, white people!

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Look at niggas shocked. "What?"

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And spread out, too.

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We got the best of the best.

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Where's my Hispanic family
in the building? Where's the Latinx?

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-A-ha!

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A-ha!

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Well, you know there's a virus out there
that will kill a motherfucker.

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Got to be something special
to have me here.

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Let's see what it is.

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Where's the ladies in the building?
Make some noise.

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-Ladies in the building!

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-Mm-hm!

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Did you smell that in there?
That was a lot of good uterus.

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Mm-hm. That was some high estrogen levels.

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I got the best audience.
And I had to have it.

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A pandemic made you restructure your life.

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You miss your family.

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Y'all are my motherfucking family.

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For the ten-year challenge,
I don't even recognize this shit.

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Is this the real world?

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This shit is crazy.
You don't know what to believe.

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Don't nobody even make up
conspiracy theories no more.

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The truth is fucked up enough.

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For everybody.

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You don't know what the fuck to believe.

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Some of y'all in here
got three vaccinations and four boosters!

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And you just as scared of the next
variant as the next motherfucker.

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We don't know what to believe.

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Ten years ago, we even said we don't let
motherfuckers tell us what to do.

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We let them tell us, the worldwide doctors
told us to get the vaccine.

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These dirty sons of bitches,
they ain't showing us not nair a doctor.

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I guess Dr. Fauci made all the vaccines.

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He the only one we ever see!

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Don't get me wrong, I don't give a fuck.

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I don't mind taking the vaccine.

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When I take my dog to the vet,
I get whatever shots <i>he's </i>getting.

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He get a rabies shot, me too.
That's my friend, bitch.

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I'm as likely to bite somebody as he is.

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Crazy world.
You don't know what to believe.

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The truth is just as strange as fiction.

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Taco Bell...

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selling chicken wings.

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This is a revelation, bitch!

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Crack you wide open
at the scene.

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Some of you niggas is tearing up
them pigeon winglets.

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Fucking up them Mac Tenders.

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You don't know what the fuck to believe.

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That's how it is.

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You may not know what to fucking believe.

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The truth can be stranger than fiction.
They won't tell you shit.

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They won't tell you that Wendy Williams
is Sasquatch.

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That bitch is Bigfoot!

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Every time you see her go on hiatus,

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that's when you start
seeing sightings of Bigfoot.

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The truth will come out later. You'll see.

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Just saying, they'll tell us anything.

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That's why it's called World War III.

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'Cause there's a whole motherfucking
war going on right now.

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And they ain't telling us shit.

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We don't even know whose side is what.

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Whole war going on.

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Fortunately, for us, it's simple.
It ain't even complicated.

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White people, don't get nervous.

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It ain't about race this time.

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Mm-mm. Ain't about money this time.

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No, no.

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This time it's a lie versus the truth.

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Just that simple.
A lie versus the truth. That's it.

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Just a lie versus the truth. Ah!

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The lie...

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I'm not here to say what side
is the best side.

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I'm just saying, them's the sides.

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Watch this. Where is all the lovers
of truth at in the building?

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Make some noise
if you love the truth.

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Whoo! Look at the lovers of truth.
Strong in this bitch.

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Keep that same energy.

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Don't switch up on me.

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So, lovers of truth. Watch this.

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Where's all the liars in the building?
Make some noise. Liars.

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Yeah!

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Look at the lovers of truth. "What?
I didn't think they would tell the truth."

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Liars do what the fuck they want to do.

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Just understand, there's two sides.

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You always got to have a proper
respect for your opps.

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One of these sides don't respect the opps.

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The lovers of truth,
they don't give a fuck about the lie.

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And they will tell you,

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"Bitch, this is the truth right here.
I don't give a fuck!"

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You tell them about the lie.
The lie ain't shit.

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Shit.

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Liars run the world.

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Better respect it.

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Liars run the world.
For every time one lie gets told,

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one million people
make one million dollars.

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For every lie,
you know who the fuck pays for it?

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Whoever the fuck don't know it's a lie.
That's who the fuck pays for it.

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Yep. And they lie to all of us.
Not some of us.

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Look at white people, "Not us." Yes.

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All of us.

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They lie to us all together.

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They told all of us in here.

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There's a chicken wing shortage.

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Look at people of all races and religions,
genders and creeds all agree.

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"They sure did say that."

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They told all of us.

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There's a chicken wing shortage.

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Doesn't matter how much
we all love chicken.

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We didn't riot in the streets.

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We didn't burn burger places down.

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We just believed them.

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But liars always leave a clue.

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They think they smarter than them is.

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They say it to all of us,
"There is a chicken wing shortage."

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Did you notice they did not say
it was a shortage of chickens?

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Said it was a chicken wing shortage.

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But they did not say...

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it was a shortage of chickens.

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Now, I know some of y'all
don't grow up on the farm.

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Maybe you don't see a chicken every day.

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But try to envision in your mind
what a chicken looks like.

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'Cause if a liar can get you
to believe some shit,

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they don't stop there. They double down.

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Just so you knew they was lying,
they said some shit next,

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that don't even make mathematical sense.

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They said there's
a chicken wing shortage...

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but we got plenty of thighs.

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Where the fuck would you get
plenty of thighs from, bitch?

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Look, I'm not a farmer.

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Or a scientist. But I will tell you this,

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all chicken wings… come from a chicken.

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They get two wings, two thighs.

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So don't start talking about
you got a whole bunch of thighs.

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Where the fuck are you getting these
spider leg chickens from?

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See, the problem is,
some of y'all believe in God,

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some of y'all believe in science.

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I believe in both.

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Science might have done some things,
and God did some things.

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Science might have made a lot of shit,
but God made the chicken.

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You ain't going to tell me.
God made the chicken.

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He did that for the world.

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That's how you know it's from God.

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What group of people
don't fuck with chicken?

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Look at the vegans. "Just us."

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God made the chicken.

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That bitch ain't safe nowhere.

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Every time a chicken's foot
hits the ground,

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somebody want to put that bitch in grease.

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In China, in France,
in Europe, in Mississippi.

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That's how you know God made it,

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because that bird is the most
delicious bird.

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In the whole world!

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And that motherfucker can't fly.

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'Cause God loves you.

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If chickens could fly,
half the motherfuckers in here

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would be dead right now if you had to...

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if you had to catch your own two-piece,
you'll die.

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You just in the backyard...

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"That was a spicy combo, too.
I can't keep missing these opportunities."

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Anyway...

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I'm just saying,
figure out what you can trust.

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'Cause it used to be it was people
out there that we trusted.

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Their job made us trust them.

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That they would do the right thing by us.

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That shit is gone-gone.

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Been gone.

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What the fuck you mean?

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They want you to do shit
that don't make no sense.

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That's why I won't even talk
about politics no more.

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Ain't shit to talk about.

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What the fuck I'm supposed to do
if both sides is the dumb side?

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I don't even want to play no more!

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What the fuck is this shit?

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But that's America.

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We just don't want what we had last.

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Ten years ago, some of you ladies
was with a full-fledged gangbanger.

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Look at you ten years later
in here with that bank teller.

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You look like you work at the bank.

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That's how our country do.

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We don't give a fuck.
Just don't give us the last shit.

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We traded in a crazy,
deranged, erratic motherfucker.

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We traded him in

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for a <i>Weekend at Bernie's.</i>

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Too much going on.

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You can't believe nothing that people say.

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This is some crazy shit.

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You motherfuckers is vicious.

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You don't give a fuck about nobody.

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00:14:31.787 --> 00:14:35.624
Motherfucker, I'm so sick of motherfuckers
talking shit about Joe Biden.

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00:14:36.250 --> 00:14:38.586
"Joe need to get his shit together."

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"You need to wake up, Joe."

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00:14:45.676 --> 00:14:47.845
"Go Brandon, Joe."

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What the fuck is wrong with you people?

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Who raised you?

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Joe Biden is 96 motherfucking
years old, bitch.

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You gave Paw Paw the job, bitch.

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00:15:07.489 --> 00:15:11.452
You gave Great-Granddad
the job, bitch.

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00:15:12.703 --> 00:15:16.081
Now, you want Big Daddy
to get his shit together.

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00:15:18.083 --> 00:15:21.295
Joe Biden is doing the best
he motherfucking can.

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That man is 97 years old.

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00:15:28.844 --> 00:15:31.347
People talking shit about Joe Biden.

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"I don't like the way
he left Afghanistan."

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Bitch, how the fuck do you think
a 98-year-old man leave a fight?

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Quickly and quietly, I bet you.

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Joe Biden left Afghanistan like this.

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Joe is doing the best he fucking can.

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00:16:01.835 --> 00:16:06.090
Give him a fucking break.
Joe is 99 goddamn years old.

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If you are lucky enough
to have a great-granddaddy,

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00:16:13.639 --> 00:16:15.933
call him up right now
on the phone and ask him

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is he ready to do 12 press conferences
tomorrow, bitch.

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00:16:20.562 --> 00:16:22.272
No, he is not.

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Joe be doing the best he can.

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00:16:32.282 --> 00:16:34.451
He show up at all the press conferences.

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You can ask Joe anything.

224
00:16:38.539 --> 00:16:40.708
But he only going to answer half...

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00:16:45.963 --> 00:16:47.381
of what the question is.

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00:16:48.132 --> 00:16:52.970
He is not going to let you know
when he get off at the nearest exit.

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00:16:54.805 --> 00:16:56.515
They said, "Joe...

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00:16:58.267 --> 00:17:01.145
America just dealt
with a terrible hurricane season.

229
00:17:02.312 --> 00:17:06.859
Do you have some words of encouragement
for the American people about hurricanes?"

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00:17:06.942 --> 00:17:08.193
Joe said...

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00:17:09.194 --> 00:17:10.821
"Thank you so much for asking.

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00:17:12.406 --> 00:17:15.075
First of all, our thoughts and prayers
go out to all the families

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dealing with hurricanes throughout
the entire United States.

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00:17:18.620 --> 00:17:20.330
What a lot of Americans have been doing

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00:17:20.414 --> 00:17:22.916
to fight the hurricanes
is getting vaccinated."

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00:17:40.893 --> 00:17:42.561
There's too much shit going on.

237
00:17:45.606 --> 00:17:48.317
Too much shit going on.

238
00:17:49.276 --> 00:17:51.070
They doing their best with Joe.

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00:17:52.946 --> 00:17:55.115
Every morning, they tell Joe,
"Joe, today...

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00:17:57.743 --> 00:17:59.244
Don't say shit today, Joe."

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00:18:03.999 --> 00:18:06.001
"No, I want to tell the American people."

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00:18:08.378 --> 00:18:10.422
I love it.

243
00:18:10.798 --> 00:18:13.842
And that's how you can tell
the Vice President is a real Black woman.

244
00:18:16.887 --> 00:18:18.972
You don't see her nowhere.

245
00:18:21.558 --> 00:18:25.729
She ain't at the mall,
at the club, nothing.

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00:18:25.813 --> 00:18:28.023
She in her room at the White House.

247
00:18:37.199 --> 00:18:38.575
Too much shit going on.

248
00:18:40.327 --> 00:18:41.495
Too much shit.

249
00:18:42.329 --> 00:18:45.791
It all come down to the lie and the truth.

250
00:18:46.708 --> 00:18:48.001
Just got to deal with it.

251
00:18:48.961 --> 00:18:51.421
Them motherfuckers don't want to tell us
the truth about shit.

252
00:18:51.964 --> 00:18:53.132
Nothing.

253
00:18:54.174 --> 00:18:57.177
You notice they don't even talk
about the war on drugs no more?

254
00:18:58.887 --> 00:19:01.473
You think that's because
there ain't no more war?

255
00:19:02.850 --> 00:19:04.351
Or there ain't no more drugs?

256
00:19:09.148 --> 00:19:10.899
They don't tell us shit!

257
00:19:11.984 --> 00:19:14.361
They don't talk about drugs no more.

258
00:19:15.070 --> 00:19:16.655
'Cause for the first time in history...

259
00:19:17.865 --> 00:19:18.949
Black people...

260
00:19:19.533 --> 00:19:21.285
ain't making none of the drugs.

261
00:19:23.120 --> 00:19:24.788
Look at white people. "What?"

262
00:19:27.124 --> 00:19:27.958
Yep.

263
00:19:29.418 --> 00:19:30.752
Yep. I know, white people.

264
00:19:30.836 --> 00:19:32.713
You finding what I'm saying
hard to believe.

265
00:19:35.465 --> 00:19:38.552
I'ma tell you a statistic that's
gonna blow your fucking mind.

266
00:19:39.970 --> 00:19:41.889
There are zero niggas

267
00:19:43.140 --> 00:19:44.850
making Fentanyl.

268
00:19:54.776 --> 00:19:56.486
Look at white people. "What?"

269
00:19:58.739 --> 00:19:59.573
Yep.

270
00:20:00.032 --> 00:20:01.491
You better believe it, white people.

271
00:20:01.825 --> 00:20:04.953
We would notice if niggas
was dropping dead for nothing.

272
00:20:08.123 --> 00:20:11.043
I looked up Fentanyl.
That shit is beyond dangerous.

273
00:20:11.960 --> 00:20:15.631
I said, "What you got to do to die?"
They said, "Touch it."

274
00:20:17.883 --> 00:20:20.886
That's when I knew,
niggas ain't involved in this.

275
00:20:22.387 --> 00:20:24.556
We like to touch everything we buy.

276
00:20:25.390 --> 00:20:28.227
We would notice niggas dying
at the purchase.

277
00:20:32.356 --> 00:20:34.233
His last words were, "This must be it."

278
00:20:36.526 --> 00:20:39.613
Mm-hmm… Yep.

279
00:20:40.280 --> 00:20:42.074
It's a crazy world out there now.

280
00:20:42.699 --> 00:20:44.660
They don't want to talk to you
about drugs.

281
00:20:44.952 --> 00:20:47.287
They ain't talking
about the opioid crisis.

282
00:20:47.663 --> 00:20:49.915
And it's fucking up everybody's community.

283
00:20:50.457 --> 00:20:52.417
Everybody got a favorite pill.

284
00:20:54.711 --> 00:20:56.672
Everybody got a go-to…

285
00:20:58.757 --> 00:21:00.676
for when times get rough.

286
00:21:01.802 --> 00:21:04.346
There's a whole opioid crisis.
They ain't even talkin' about it.

287
00:21:04.429 --> 00:21:05.555
You know why?

288
00:21:05.889 --> 00:21:08.058
'Cause ain't nobody
going the fuck to jail.

289
00:21:08.809 --> 00:21:12.562
Ain't no houses getting raided.
Ain't nobody being looked into.

290
00:21:13.146 --> 00:21:17.150
You know why?
Because the dealer is your doctor.

291
00:21:20.529 --> 00:21:22.531
Look at niggas. "Dr. Fauci?"

292
00:21:23.865 --> 00:21:25.909
That is not your doctor, niggas.

293
00:21:27.286 --> 00:21:30.205
Stop putting him
on your insurance paperwork now.

294
00:21:33.500 --> 00:21:35.210
"He's the only one I trust."

295
00:21:39.089 --> 00:21:40.215
They don't tell us shit.

296
00:21:41.133 --> 00:21:42.551
If they really want to lie to us,

297
00:21:42.634 --> 00:21:44.428
they don't tell us
nothing about it at all.

298
00:21:46.388 --> 00:21:49.766
You notice they don't ever fucking tell
you where methamphetamines come from?

299
00:21:50.392 --> 00:21:52.686
They act like that shit come
from a trailer park.

300
00:21:54.187 --> 00:21:56.940
That's one of the strongest drugs
known to man.

301
00:21:57.024 --> 00:21:57.899
Amen.

302
00:21:57.983 --> 00:22:00.152
There ain't no other drug
make your teeth itch.

303
00:22:04.781 --> 00:22:07.284
Like bitch, I don't even think teeth itch.

304
00:22:09.119 --> 00:22:11.288
You're just scratching the shit
out of your mouth.

305
00:22:17.002 --> 00:22:18.337
They don't want you to know shit

306
00:22:19.254 --> 00:22:20.672
about motherfucking meth.

307
00:22:21.631 --> 00:22:25.427
Guess who the fuck discovered that shit
and was the first to distribute

308
00:22:25.510 --> 00:22:26.970
and manufacture it?

309
00:22:27.262 --> 00:22:29.556
Somebody we all motherfucking know, too.

310
00:22:30.348 --> 00:22:31.600
Adolf Hitler.

311
00:22:33.101 --> 00:22:33.935
What?

312
00:22:34.895 --> 00:22:37.105
How the fuck did they leave that
out of the book?

313
00:22:38.398 --> 00:22:45.238
They told us the Nazis
was the scariest military in the world.

314
00:22:46.948 --> 00:22:48.867
But they never told us why.

315
00:22:50.035 --> 00:22:52.079
They was not just making the meth,

316
00:22:53.080 --> 00:22:56.208
they rationing it to themselves.

317
00:22:57.209 --> 00:22:58.376
Every day.

318
00:22:59.586 --> 00:23:02.547
Putting it in chocolate,
and coffee, and tea.

319
00:23:04.174 --> 00:23:07.052
Fuck with the Nazis if you want to, bitch.

320
00:23:08.553 --> 00:23:11.890
Them motherfuckers
is the only military don't need to eat.

321
00:23:13.892 --> 00:23:14.976
Or sleep.

322
00:23:16.103 --> 00:23:19.606
As long as they got teeth to scratch.

323
00:23:24.694 --> 00:23:26.905
You fighting the Nazis, you look out,

324
00:23:27.781 --> 00:23:31.076
they are 750 miles away.

325
00:23:32.327 --> 00:23:35.539
We'll see them bitches in three days.

326
00:23:36.206 --> 00:23:37.749
And you go to sleep.

327
00:23:38.458 --> 00:23:42.254
When you wake up,
them bitches is in front of the house

328
00:23:43.380 --> 00:23:45.048
on the Ring cam.

329
00:23:57.310 --> 00:23:58.395
They don't tell us shit.

330
00:24:00.188 --> 00:24:01.398
They lie to all of us.

331
00:24:03.191 --> 00:24:07.320
They lie to us
'cause sometimes the truth is ugly.

332
00:24:07.696 --> 00:24:08.613
Yes!

333
00:24:08.697 --> 00:24:11.533
Sometimes the truth… is painful.

334
00:24:12.409 --> 00:24:15.495
But if you love the truth,
it's the motherfucking truth.

335
00:24:16.872 --> 00:24:18.540
But we all get lied to.

336
00:24:19.207 --> 00:24:21.334
Look at the Christians, "Not us."

337
00:24:25.046 --> 00:24:27.007
Yep. Y'all too.

338
00:24:29.134 --> 00:24:31.303
Used to be you could count on
the Christians

339
00:24:32.470 --> 00:24:34.598
to holler out a warning to your ass

340
00:24:35.807 --> 00:24:38.310
from time to time
that you ain't even ask for.

341
00:24:39.269 --> 00:24:40.645
They'll just throw it out there.

342
00:24:41.146 --> 00:24:42.439
"It's the last days!"

343
00:24:48.028 --> 00:24:50.071
Now, the Christians don't say nothing.

344
00:24:50.906 --> 00:24:53.158
Now that there's real plagues outside.

345
00:24:54.075 --> 00:24:57.120
The Christians going to church
on Sunday like Joe Biden.

346
00:25:03.960 --> 00:25:06.087
But the truth is, all of us get lied to.

347
00:25:06.713 --> 00:25:07.964
Even the Christians.

348
00:25:08.757 --> 00:25:10.217
They'll lie to any of us.

349
00:25:10.300 --> 00:25:12.636
'Cause they just don't
want you to know the fucking truth

350
00:25:12.719 --> 00:25:14.763
'cause you might feel good
about yourself.

351
00:25:16.014 --> 00:25:17.140
It's only that,

352
00:25:17.849 --> 00:25:21.019
or they don't want to tell you
'cause they know it'll fuck you up.

353
00:25:22.187 --> 00:25:23.480
But it's the truth though.

354
00:25:24.105 --> 00:25:26.483
They made that whole Garden of Eden up.

355
00:25:28.568 --> 00:25:30.612
Putting slander on our Lord.

356
00:25:31.738 --> 00:25:33.615
Talking about an apple tree.

357
00:25:35.909 --> 00:25:37.786
Oh, and they ate the apple.

358
00:25:38.620 --> 00:25:41.873
Hey, bitch, my God don't fuck
with fruit like that.

359
00:25:41.957 --> 00:25:43.083
What the fuck?

360
00:25:43.833 --> 00:25:47.295
You act like God will put
our whole life on the line

361
00:25:48.338 --> 00:25:50.548
over a piece of fruit, bitch?

362
00:25:51.549 --> 00:25:53.593
If God didn't want you to eat the fruit,

363
00:25:55.178 --> 00:25:56.805
he wouldn't have made the fruit.

364
00:25:59.182 --> 00:26:02.686
They just covering up a lie.
'Cause the truth too painful.

365
00:26:03.103 --> 00:26:05.188
Ain't no motherfucking apple tree, bitch.

366
00:26:06.731 --> 00:26:08.608
You are the tree. This is the tree.

367
00:26:09.776 --> 00:26:12.070
You the tree, bitch. You are the tree.

368
00:26:12.153 --> 00:26:17.742
All right? So if you the tree,
then what the fuck… is the fruit?

369
00:26:19.494 --> 00:26:20.412
This is the fruit.

370
00:26:21.246 --> 00:26:22.372
If this is the tree...

371
00:26:23.623 --> 00:26:24.541
this is the fruit.

372
00:26:26.710 --> 00:26:27.961
The message was...

373
00:26:29.504 --> 00:26:30.797
don't touch the fruit.

374
00:26:36.970 --> 00:26:38.388
They lied to the Christians, too.

375
00:26:39.347 --> 00:26:41.933
Made up a bunch of religious stories
'cause they didn't want you

376
00:26:42.017 --> 00:26:44.102
to know the truth,
'cause the truth is painful.

377
00:26:44.519 --> 00:26:47.272
The truth is, your mama's a ho.

378
00:26:52.068 --> 00:26:54.654
Look at the Christians,
"That's far enough, Katt."

379
00:27:00.243 --> 00:27:01.119
Yep.

380
00:27:02.078 --> 00:27:04.205
That's the story of Genesis.

381
00:27:06.249 --> 00:27:07.459
Your mama's a ho.

382
00:27:08.460 --> 00:27:11.046
Look at you. Still don't even
want to believe me? "No!"

383
00:27:12.380 --> 00:27:14.841
Yep. You're talking about the lady that...

384
00:27:15.842 --> 00:27:17.927
fucked the man and the snake

385
00:27:19.054 --> 00:27:20.472
in front of God!

386
00:27:22.724 --> 00:27:24.642
This bitch was for the streets...

387
00:27:26.353 --> 00:27:29.689
5,000 years before they came up
with streets!

388
00:27:37.030 --> 00:27:39.240
But you believe the world is fucked up

389
00:27:39.908 --> 00:27:41.242
'cause of fruit.

390
00:27:41.743 --> 00:27:43.078
No, it ain't that.

391
00:27:44.537 --> 00:27:47.165
Adam was God's son.

392
00:27:48.208 --> 00:27:49.876
So who the fuck was Eve?

393
00:27:51.711 --> 00:27:54.297
That wasn't his motherfucking wife.
That wasn't his girlfriend.

394
00:27:54.381 --> 00:27:56.174
That was God's daughter, bitch.

395
00:27:57.342 --> 00:27:58.468
The fuck?

396
00:28:00.637 --> 00:28:02.514
That's incest, bitch.

397
00:28:04.099 --> 00:28:06.017
That shit cannot be fixed.

398
00:28:06.726 --> 00:28:09.979
That's why they ratchet ass
got thrown out the garden.

399
00:28:13.733 --> 00:28:16.486
There they got 'em as relationship goals.

400
00:28:23.159 --> 00:28:24.828
They're saying they lie to all of us.

401
00:28:25.578 --> 00:28:27.664
Don't want to tell us
nothing about nothing.

402
00:28:28.998 --> 00:28:33.420
We done been to 300 planets in space.
Three hundred!

403
00:28:34.254 --> 00:28:37.132
Earth, moon,

404
00:28:38.425 --> 00:28:39.926
plus 300!

405
00:28:43.012 --> 00:28:44.305
We done been there.

406
00:28:45.390 --> 00:28:48.560
Now, you notice they ain't never
bringing back no souvenirs?

407
00:28:53.481 --> 00:28:55.358
There's some shit
they don't want you to know.

408
00:28:57.110 --> 00:28:59.654
Down here on this planet,
we know all about evolution.

409
00:28:59.738 --> 00:29:02.157
Don't we know evolution?
We know exactly how it work.

410
00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:05.326
We know life will find a way.

411
00:29:06.077 --> 00:29:07.871
It'll start out small.

412
00:29:08.663 --> 00:29:13.334
And then, it just gets better,
and better, and better, and better.

413
00:29:13.752 --> 00:29:15.003
That's evolution.

414
00:29:15.795 --> 00:29:18.339
We done been to 300
motherfucking planets now.

415
00:29:18.840 --> 00:29:20.175
And guess what?

416
00:29:20.759 --> 00:29:22.594
It ain't no evolution...

417
00:29:24.554 --> 00:29:27.640
...on not nair-one
of them goddamn planets!

418
00:29:28.933 --> 00:29:32.103
Not none. Not even a little,
teeny, "nichey" bit.

419
00:29:33.104 --> 00:29:34.856
Just rocks and dirt.

420
00:29:35.732 --> 00:29:37.650
Uh-huh. Every single planet.

421
00:29:38.234 --> 00:29:42.405
Uh-huh. 'Cause they found out the two most
valuable things in the universe.

422
00:29:42.822 --> 00:29:46.534
Other than God, it ain't but two things
valuable in the universe.

423
00:29:47.869 --> 00:29:48.787
Water.

424
00:29:49.954 --> 00:29:50.955
And pussy.

425
00:29:55.627 --> 00:29:57.629
Look at the ladies,
"I'm sitting on one of them."

426
00:29:59.547 --> 00:30:02.425
Look at the Vegas professionals,
"I'm sitting on both of them."

427
00:30:04.844 --> 00:30:07.305
Yeah. They don't want to tell you
that shit.

428
00:30:08.056 --> 00:30:10.058
Nothing else in the world means shit.

429
00:30:11.100 --> 00:30:14.437
Other than God, it's just water and pussy.

430
00:30:15.313 --> 00:30:17.690
Why? 'Cause science ain't make them.

431
00:30:18.399 --> 00:30:19.692
God made them.

432
00:30:20.443 --> 00:30:22.987
You know how you know God made water
and not science?

433
00:30:24.113 --> 00:30:28.243
Water is the only thing in the universe
you know the recipe...

434
00:30:29.369 --> 00:30:30.578
and you can't make none.

435
00:30:34.999 --> 00:30:37.877
"Say it one more time, Katt,
for the people in the back."

436
00:30:40.213 --> 00:30:41.047
Uh-huh.

437
00:30:42.507 --> 00:30:47.428
Anything else, you want to make it,
you just need the recipe.

438
00:30:48.513 --> 00:30:50.139
Soon as you get it,

439
00:30:50.557 --> 00:30:52.141
you can make you some.

440
00:30:53.351 --> 00:30:54.352
Not this, though.

441
00:30:54.894 --> 00:30:56.229
God made this.

442
00:30:56.437 --> 00:30:59.274
And we all know the recipe,
H to the 2 to the O.

443
00:30:59.357 --> 00:31:01.150
-Hey!

444
00:31:01.234 --> 00:31:03.903
If you put an H and an O together
by yourself,

445
00:31:04.988 --> 00:31:06.281
you'll just have a ho.

446
00:31:10.368 --> 00:31:13.162
Now, you can lead a ho to water,
but she ain't going to make none.

447
00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:18.167
Yep.

448
00:31:18.710 --> 00:31:21.296
I don't give a fuck how good
at science you are.

449
00:31:22.297 --> 00:31:25.758
You can't take hydrogen,
and put that with oxygen,

450
00:31:26.009 --> 00:31:27.927
and come up with no type of water.

451
00:31:28.136 --> 00:31:33.683
Not tap water. Not rainwater.
Not Flint water. Nothing.

452
00:31:36.394 --> 00:31:37.562
That's 'cause God made it.

453
00:31:38.229 --> 00:31:40.732
It can do five or six things by itself.

454
00:31:41.357 --> 00:31:44.027
It can be ice. You can swim in it.

455
00:31:44.569 --> 00:31:47.238
Relax in it. Bathe in it.

456
00:31:48.239 --> 00:31:51.242
Swim in it. Drown in it. Die in it.

457
00:31:52.452 --> 00:31:55.204
Just like pussy.
That's why they both on the list.

458
00:31:57.832 --> 00:31:59.626
Water and pussy.

459
00:32:02.795 --> 00:32:05.214
-"Why are you saying pussy, Katt?"
-Why?

460
00:32:05.298 --> 00:32:06.424
'Cause it's…

461
00:32:07.508 --> 00:32:10.428
the second greatest thing
in the entire universe.

462
00:32:10.803 --> 00:32:16.017
It's something that exists
that mathematically should not exist!

463
00:32:17.143 --> 00:32:22.065
The pussy is a fax machine
before machines.

464
00:32:23.650 --> 00:32:26.819
You fuck me, I make a copy of you, nigga.

465
00:32:40.291 --> 00:32:41.376
And understand...

466
00:32:42.293 --> 00:32:47.674
women don't have magical,
supernatural powers of regrowth.

467
00:32:48.633 --> 00:32:51.970
If a woman cuts off her fingertip,
she can't grow it back.

468
00:32:52.845 --> 00:32:55.139
But she can grow a whole life...

469
00:32:57.058 --> 00:32:58.559
in her side job.

470
00:33:00.436 --> 00:33:04.107
And still deliver a delicious mango
for you to eat later.

471
00:33:07.235 --> 00:33:08.236
Shouldn't exist.

472
00:33:09.070 --> 00:33:10.363
But it does.

473
00:33:12.490 --> 00:33:15.827
They don't want to tell you that,
'cause you'd value it.

474
00:33:16.869 --> 00:33:19.706
I heard y'all men
under the sound of my voice.

475
00:33:20.873 --> 00:33:23.793
If you don't have a pussy, get you one.

476
00:33:26.254 --> 00:33:29.632
They are a valued commodity
in the universe.

477
00:33:33.136 --> 00:33:34.971
Look at some of the fellas, "I have two."

478
00:33:38.850 --> 00:33:40.768
Later, they'll call it investing.

479
00:33:44.689 --> 00:33:45.940
They don't tell us shit.

480
00:33:47.942 --> 00:33:50.069
They don't want you to know
you a superhero.

481
00:33:52.030 --> 00:33:54.782
Every last person
in here is a motherfucking superhero.

482
00:33:56.367 --> 00:33:58.244
I know it don't feel like it tonight.

483
00:33:58.953 --> 00:34:01.205
Two hundred motherfucking years from now,

484
00:34:01.289 --> 00:34:03.624
they going to be writing books
about all of y'all.

485
00:34:04.751 --> 00:34:09.047
The motherfucking group of motherfuckers
that did shit that cannot be done.

486
00:34:10.089 --> 00:34:13.384
These motherfuckers fought an opp
that cannot be fought.

487
00:34:14.385 --> 00:34:16.512
These motherfuckers' opp was air.

488
00:34:18.306 --> 00:34:19.891
They could die at any breath.

489
00:34:20.683 --> 00:34:23.061
They're going to be talking about y'all,
real superheroes,

490
00:34:23.144 --> 00:34:25.313
and it's that time
you can change your whole life

491
00:34:25.396 --> 00:34:26.898
if you don't like your life.

492
00:34:27.231 --> 00:34:30.693
You ain't never got to commit suicide.
You can just change, bitch.

493
00:34:31.694 --> 00:34:33.905
Ladies, if you don't like
the way you look,

494
00:34:34.197 --> 00:34:37.533
for $22,000 you can change that shit.

495
00:34:39.911 --> 00:34:42.789
You can go to the Dominican Republic
and come back,

496
00:34:42.872 --> 00:34:46.417
and nobody in your family
will recognize you, bitch.

497
00:34:52.965 --> 00:34:55.093
You just got to understand,
it's science,

498
00:34:55.593 --> 00:34:58.179
and it's God. Just don't ignore God.

499
00:34:59.764 --> 00:35:01.057
Don't overdo it.

500
00:35:02.600 --> 00:35:04.268
God knows what's best for you.

501
00:35:05.686 --> 00:35:09.690
You don't know your spine is built
to take 90 pounds, ladies.

502
00:35:10.733 --> 00:35:14.487
Some of your spines say 90 pounds
at the bottom.

503
00:35:14.570 --> 00:35:17.323
God wrote, right there, 90 pounds.

504
00:35:17.865 --> 00:35:21.702
You done went to the Dominican Republic,
and got 72 pounds of titties,

505
00:35:23.079 --> 00:35:25.039
68 pounds of ass,

506
00:35:25.957 --> 00:35:28.584
and put it on that same stock frame.

507
00:35:30.086 --> 00:35:31.754
When you turn 55, bitch,

508
00:35:31.838 --> 00:35:34.507
you are going to fold up like a fan
at the nursing home.

509
00:35:45.101 --> 00:35:46.602
But you can be a superhero.

510
00:35:47.687 --> 00:35:49.981
Fellas, they got a trap out there
for us, too.

511
00:35:51.023 --> 00:35:53.526
Sometimes, Satan sounds
just like the Lord.

512
00:35:56.529 --> 00:35:58.030
If you five-foot,

513
00:35:59.657 --> 00:36:01.367
Satan set a trap out there.

514
00:36:02.285 --> 00:36:05.204
They got a surgery, five-foot men,
they got a surgery.

515
00:36:05.830 --> 00:36:07.540
Only take one night.

516
00:36:09.167 --> 00:36:11.419
It give you six inches of height

517
00:36:12.044 --> 00:36:13.212
overnight!

518
00:36:14.255 --> 00:36:17.300
-Look at the short niggas, "What?"

519
00:36:17.383 --> 00:36:18.759
That's right.

520
00:36:18.843 --> 00:36:21.470
Walk in that bitch 5'5", come out 6'1".

521
00:36:23.764 --> 00:36:24.807
I was tempted.

522
00:36:27.393 --> 00:36:29.604
You know how much
motherfucking money I got, bitch?

523
00:36:29.687 --> 00:36:31.397
I could be 7'3" right now.

524
00:36:33.274 --> 00:36:35.526
I'm talking to you niggas
like it's regular.

525
00:36:35.610 --> 00:36:37.111
I'm on my fourth procedure.

526
00:36:42.742 --> 00:36:44.076
But you got to trust God.

527
00:36:44.619 --> 00:36:46.829
Can't trust them science for everything.

528
00:36:48.206 --> 00:36:51.125
Yeah. Yeah.
As a fella, you going to look good,

529
00:36:52.376 --> 00:36:55.338
leaning on your car for six feet
for the first time.

530
00:36:57.965 --> 00:37:01.427
But eventually, some nigga's going
to ask you to do some nigga shit.

531
00:37:02.136 --> 00:37:06.307
And you are not going to be able
to do that shit with your scientific legs.

532
00:37:08.726 --> 00:37:11.520
So, this one nigga wanted to play
basketball, hit you with the...

533
00:37:13.314 --> 00:37:15.316
Their whole body
going to break down, nigga.

534
00:37:19.570 --> 00:37:22.823
Nigga, you know these are my new legs.
I got these this weekend.

535
00:37:22.907 --> 00:37:25.701
You niggas know I ain't took these
to the gym or nothing, nigga.

536
00:37:26.786 --> 00:37:28.704
Got two calves on each leg.

537
00:37:35.962 --> 00:37:38.047
Nobody can beat what God make.

538
00:37:38.464 --> 00:37:40.466
That's what makes pussy so delicious.

539
00:37:42.343 --> 00:37:44.553
Over the pandemic
I was able to explore pussies

540
00:37:44.637 --> 00:37:45.763
I had never even...

541
00:37:47.765 --> 00:37:50.726
I'd never even tried before.
Different flavors, and...

542
00:37:51.269 --> 00:37:54.689
varieties. Mm, mm… All delicious.

543
00:37:56.774 --> 00:37:57.942
I learned some shit.

544
00:37:58.651 --> 00:38:00.569
I learned I don't even have no preference.

545
00:38:00.945 --> 00:38:03.030
I just got two that I prefer...

546
00:38:04.407 --> 00:38:05.408
over the rest.

547
00:38:08.119 --> 00:38:10.705
But any 'gina is a good 'gina.

548
00:38:13.624 --> 00:38:17.086
Fellas, think about the worst piece
of pussy you ever come across.

549
00:38:17.795 --> 00:38:20.339
That vagina was worth four penises.

550
00:38:23.301 --> 00:38:24.802
Treasure your vaginas.

551
00:38:25.177 --> 00:38:26.345
They're collectibles.

552
00:38:28.514 --> 00:38:29.515
It's true!

553
00:38:29.640 --> 00:38:32.310
My favorite type of all of them

554
00:38:32.977 --> 00:38:35.062
is, uh, the creamer.

555
00:38:36.939 --> 00:38:39.025
Ladies, don't do that.
Look at the creamers.

556
00:38:48.242 --> 00:38:49.785
Ain't nothing like the creamer.

557
00:38:50.369 --> 00:38:51.203
Whoo!

558
00:38:51.495 --> 00:38:54.749
Ladies, science has just found out
that scientifically,

559
00:38:55.750 --> 00:38:58.961
for every one drop of cream
your vagina produces,

560
00:38:59.628 --> 00:39:02.590
that is worth 32 extra strokes...

561
00:39:07.970 --> 00:39:09.972
…from your man at any time.

562
00:39:11.140 --> 00:39:15.353
As a man, we can be just ready to quit,
we just in the middle of the dismount.

563
00:39:15.436 --> 00:39:17.897
All right. That's about it.

564
00:39:20.816 --> 00:39:23.611
If you see one little piece of cream,

565
00:39:24.487 --> 00:39:26.447
it's a whole new game now!

566
00:39:27.740 --> 00:39:29.867
Now, motherfuckers
wanna be magicians now.

567
00:39:30.743 --> 00:39:34.538
There's the cream. Where's the cream?
There's the cream. Where's the cream?

568
00:39:34.622 --> 00:39:37.541
There's the cream.
Cream on a nigga, then. Cream on a nigga.

569
00:39:39.460 --> 00:39:40.544
Any cream.

570
00:39:42.088 --> 00:39:44.757
Ladies, when science finds out
what food...

571
00:39:48.427 --> 00:39:50.429
makes vagina creamy...

572
00:39:52.848 --> 00:39:54.934
that shit ain't going to stay
on the shelf.

573
00:39:55.518 --> 00:39:56.894
It's going to be gone!

574
00:39:57.770 --> 00:40:00.272
Look at the women
with the dry coochies trying to look at me

575
00:40:00.356 --> 00:40:02.108
like they know what I'm talking about.

576
00:40:08.906 --> 00:40:10.866
"Cream seems unsanitary."

577
00:40:13.619 --> 00:40:14.453
Whoo!

578
00:40:15.162 --> 00:40:17.206
Ain't nothing fucking
with that creamy, now.

579
00:40:18.207 --> 00:40:20.209
Only thing better than the creamy...

580
00:40:21.252 --> 00:40:22.503
is the squirter.

581
00:40:23.254 --> 00:40:25.089
Ladies, don't do that shit.

582
00:40:26.799 --> 00:40:33.639
No. Statistically, 65% of all men
have heard of a squirter.

583
00:40:34.890 --> 00:40:37.393
But they ain't never been squirted upon.

584
00:40:39.395 --> 00:40:42.940
So you ladies make that noise,
there goes men of all races doing...

585
00:40:49.405 --> 00:40:51.615
'Cause if you come to Vegas
and get a squirter,

586
00:40:51.699 --> 00:40:53.367
nigga, that's like winning the jackpot.

587
00:40:57.121 --> 00:41:00.040
Nothing is better than a squirter.

588
00:41:01.333 --> 00:41:02.960
Now, understand...

589
00:41:04.003 --> 00:41:06.922
as males, we never understood
the squirt, anyway.

590
00:41:08.883 --> 00:41:11.343
We always wondered why she wouldn't

591
00:41:12.428 --> 00:41:13.846
let us know…

592
00:41:14.722 --> 00:41:16.182
beforehand...

593
00:41:19.435 --> 00:41:21.228
that she's planning on squirting.

594
00:41:24.607 --> 00:41:26.817
Fellas, scientifically...

595
00:41:28.402 --> 00:41:32.281
I found out, women don't even know

596
00:41:33.491 --> 00:41:35.117
when they finna squirt.

597
00:41:38.287 --> 00:41:40.039
So now, it makes sense

598
00:41:40.998 --> 00:41:43.375
that they always look surprised

599
00:41:44.460 --> 00:41:46.212
when we look surprised.

600
00:41:50.716 --> 00:41:52.843
We always looking like, "Hey!"

601
00:41:53.260 --> 00:41:56.013
And they looking like,
"I cannot believe this.

602
00:41:56.514 --> 00:41:58.557
Well, I didn't think
I was this comfortable,

603
00:41:58.641 --> 00:42:00.601
but clearly, you're doing
something right."

604
00:42:02.144 --> 00:42:05.981
Ladies, if you could turn your head
like an owl...

605
00:42:07.441 --> 00:42:10.528
and look at your man back there
being squirted on,

606
00:42:10.611 --> 00:42:11.946
you would find out...

607
00:42:13.072 --> 00:42:15.115
that this is the greatest thing

608
00:42:16.242 --> 00:42:18.911
that can happen with a man and his penis.

609
00:42:19.537 --> 00:42:23.165
This is the standing ovation
of the vagina world.

610
00:42:24.500 --> 00:42:27.461
If you could just turn around
and see your man,

611
00:42:27.545 --> 00:42:31.590
he is back there looking like
a seven-year-old in a sprinkler system.

612
00:42:32.508 --> 00:42:35.678
He is happier than he has ever been
back there.

613
00:42:48.691 --> 00:42:49.984
Got to love a squirter.

614
00:42:51.151 --> 00:42:52.152
You got to love it.

615
00:42:52.861 --> 00:42:55.739
But now... everything God make...

616
00:42:56.782 --> 00:42:57.950
you can't overdo it.

617
00:42:59.285 --> 00:43:00.536
God made sugar.

618
00:43:01.370 --> 00:43:03.998
You eat too much sugar, you'll die.

619
00:43:05.958 --> 00:43:07.042
God made salt.

620
00:43:07.668 --> 00:43:12.798
You can love salt all you want to.
If you eat too much, you'll die.

621
00:43:13.799 --> 00:43:15.676
God put something in all the shit,

622
00:43:16.802 --> 00:43:18.053
even with squirt.

623
00:43:21.181 --> 00:43:24.476
If you had to go on a 100-city tour
and experiment,

624
00:43:25.477 --> 00:43:28.188
and you happen to run across
300 squirters,

625
00:43:30.441 --> 00:43:31.775
hypothetically...

626
00:43:36.947 --> 00:43:38.490
you'd find out something...

627
00:43:40.326 --> 00:43:41.493
very interesting.

628
00:43:42.703 --> 00:43:45.873
You'd find out for every drop of squirt,

629
00:43:46.999 --> 00:43:49.335
there is a small,

630
00:43:50.502 --> 00:43:52.671
"teenity"...

631
00:43:53.839 --> 00:43:55.883
itty-bitty...

632
00:43:56.675 --> 00:44:01.055
teeny-weeny percentage of pee…

633
00:44:04.391 --> 00:44:06.518
in all squirts. Not a lot of pee.

634
00:44:07.561 --> 00:44:09.480
Eleven percent. Not a lot of pee.

635
00:44:10.898 --> 00:44:11.982
Not a lot of pee.

636
00:44:12.066 --> 00:44:14.485
Just enough pee
for you to smell it one time...

637
00:44:16.487 --> 00:44:18.864
in the morning,
and then, never smell it again.

638
00:44:18.947 --> 00:44:20.783
-Just...

639
00:44:31.251 --> 00:44:32.086
It's true.

640
00:44:33.962 --> 00:44:37.007
All women are great women.

641
00:44:37.633 --> 00:44:38.801
Get yourself one.

642
00:44:39.593 --> 00:44:41.679
The pandemic taught me
there ain't no wrong one.

643
00:44:42.721 --> 00:44:45.683
All women is the right one.
Get yourself one.

644
00:44:47.226 --> 00:44:49.269
Get yourself a big girl,
if you got a choice.

645
00:44:50.854 --> 00:44:51.855
You need a big girl.

646
00:44:51.939 --> 00:44:54.608
I was in the pandemic.
I tried. I saw. I conquered.

647
00:44:54.692 --> 00:44:56.443
-I felt it. I know.

648
00:44:56.527 --> 00:44:59.154
If you want to go through a pandemic,
get you a big woman.

649
00:44:59.238 --> 00:45:02.157
It'll be the easiest pandemic you ever--

650
00:45:02.241 --> 00:45:03.659
You can trust a big woman.

651
00:45:03.742 --> 00:45:06.370
You don't even know,
you don't even know you hungry,

652
00:45:06.453 --> 00:45:07.788
and she already cooking.

653
00:45:11.250 --> 00:45:13.669
Your stomach look at her first,
"I think she got it."

654
00:45:16.130 --> 00:45:18.215
A big woman is perfect in the pandemic.

655
00:45:18.632 --> 00:45:20.092
She do everything right.

656
00:45:20.843 --> 00:45:23.846
If it's cold,
she'll heat up the whole room...

657
00:45:25.681 --> 00:45:27.391
cracking her legs one time.

658
00:45:29.726 --> 00:45:30.727
If it's too hot,

659
00:45:30.811 --> 00:45:34.064
she won't even touch you skin to skin,
she don't want it to stick.

660
00:45:36.608 --> 00:45:38.193
Fellas, you get with a big girl,

661
00:45:38.277 --> 00:45:41.196
you'll feel your body do some shit
you ain't never felt your body do,

662
00:45:41.280 --> 00:45:43.282
and your body
ain't never been trained to do.

663
00:45:43.866 --> 00:45:47.661
All you need to do is get a big enough
girl and you will feel your body nestle.

664
00:45:49.663 --> 00:45:51.123
Look at niggas, "What?"

665
00:45:53.709 --> 00:45:56.712
If you ever roll over on a woman
bigger than you, you just...

666
00:46:01.633 --> 00:46:04.887
It's the safest sleep you ever going
to have, nestled up there.

667
00:46:04.970 --> 00:46:06.180
I'm trying to tell you now.

668
00:46:09.016 --> 00:46:09.850
Yes.

669
00:46:11.477 --> 00:46:12.811
All the women is excited.

670
00:46:13.103 --> 00:46:14.313
I got me a short girl.

671
00:46:14.396 --> 00:46:16.690
I've never had a short girl before,
'cause I'm short.

672
00:46:17.399 --> 00:46:19.193
What the fuck would I be doing
with somebody short?

673
00:46:19.276 --> 00:46:20.986
But I was missing out.

674
00:46:21.069 --> 00:46:24.364
I didn't know they was that much fun.
I fucked a short girl in the car.

675
00:46:24.448 --> 00:46:29.411
This bitch was in every chair in the car,
and me and my dick never moved.

676
00:46:33.457 --> 00:46:35.334
She was just 'bout that life!

677
00:46:39.004 --> 00:46:40.255
I like a giant girl.

678
00:46:41.298 --> 00:46:43.008
No disrespect to the tall girls.

679
00:46:43.550 --> 00:46:45.802
I don't mean 5'9", 5'12", none of that.

680
00:46:46.512 --> 00:46:49.097
I'm talking about 6'4", 6'5", up.

681
00:46:49.765 --> 00:46:51.433
I'm talking about a giant woman.

682
00:46:52.643 --> 00:46:54.770
How big you want 'em, Katt? "Giant."

683
00:46:55.812 --> 00:46:59.316
I want her so big if she cooking breakfast
in the kitchen...

684
00:47:00.359 --> 00:47:01.902
in one of them summer dresses,

685
00:47:01.985 --> 00:47:04.696
I want to be able to slide up right
between the vagina

686
00:47:04.780 --> 00:47:06.323
without breaking a stride.

687
00:47:12.287 --> 00:47:14.706
Grab that clitoris like a red-nose pit.

688
00:47:25.509 --> 00:47:28.178
I like a woman so big
you got to fuck her in two rooms.

689
00:47:34.851 --> 00:47:37.104
That's why you got one of them WNBA girls.

690
00:47:37.854 --> 00:47:39.356
You fuck her in two rooms.

691
00:47:40.524 --> 00:47:43.485
I'm in the bedroom locked in for damage.

692
00:47:57.457 --> 00:48:00.919
Every 150 strokes I go check on her
in the living room.

693
00:48:04.339 --> 00:48:07.384
"How's that working out for you, baby?
Is that doing anything? How am I doing?

694
00:48:07.467 --> 00:48:10.095
Oh, I'm killing it?
I'm going to take it to the bridge, then.

695
00:48:10.178 --> 00:48:11.722
I'm going to take it to the bridge!

696
00:48:20.063 --> 00:48:21.189
Just saying, I like...

697
00:48:23.275 --> 00:48:24.610
I like all the girls.

698
00:48:26.069 --> 00:48:27.571
I ain't got no favorites.

699
00:48:29.072 --> 00:48:30.324
But I'll say this,

700
00:48:30.699 --> 00:48:33.118
there's some women
don't get their flowers at all.

701
00:48:33.452 --> 00:48:35.871
There's a group of women
around the whole world

702
00:48:36.371 --> 00:48:37.956
that nobody ever talks about.

703
00:48:38.457 --> 00:48:42.002
And they keep everything going.
And they'll never get no credit.

704
00:48:42.461 --> 00:48:45.422
We going to talk about them,
and give them their credit tonight.

705
00:48:47.132 --> 00:48:51.178
Where's all the fellas in here
with an ugly woman? Make some noise.

706
00:48:58.852 --> 00:49:01.438
Some people saw their whole marriage
go before their eyes.

707
00:49:04.483 --> 00:49:06.109
Katt, I trusted you!

708
00:49:09.821 --> 00:49:10.656
Look...

709
00:49:15.911 --> 00:49:18.830
Everybody in here
with somebody ugly know better.

710
00:49:18.914 --> 00:49:20.415
They just staring at me like this.

711
00:49:32.886 --> 00:49:33.720
No.

712
00:49:34.888 --> 00:49:36.640
You supposed to want what you need.

713
00:49:39.267 --> 00:49:40.811
You supposed to want what you need.

714
00:49:41.687 --> 00:49:44.106
When you was in the bathroom,
crying to the Lord...

715
00:49:48.568 --> 00:49:50.529
you said, "Send me the bitch I need!"

716
00:49:52.781 --> 00:49:54.574
That is the bitch you need.

717
00:49:56.201 --> 00:49:57.035
Yeah.

718
00:49:57.452 --> 00:49:59.830
Yeah. Stop judging people

719
00:50:01.456 --> 00:50:02.958
by the outside only.

720
00:50:03.500 --> 00:50:04.751
Fuck you mean?

721
00:50:05.168 --> 00:50:07.045
The ugliest people be pretty.

722
00:50:07.379 --> 00:50:08.755
They still ugly.

723
00:50:10.340 --> 00:50:13.552
Every man in here with an ugly woman
knows something the world don't know.

724
00:50:15.053 --> 00:50:16.930
She might be ugly to you...

725
00:50:18.515 --> 00:50:20.308
She ain't ugly to me.

726
00:50:21.643 --> 00:50:23.145
I ain't going to tell you why.

727
00:50:24.104 --> 00:50:25.814
But sometimes you need an ugly woman.

728
00:50:25.897 --> 00:50:28.608
An ugly woman will save
your motherfucking life.

729
00:50:33.947 --> 00:50:35.824
You can be famous being ugly.

730
00:50:39.035 --> 00:50:41.455
All of us know the story
of Harriet Tubman.

731
00:50:44.958 --> 00:50:47.502
They don't tell us but two things
about Harriet.

732
00:50:48.795 --> 00:50:52.841
They tell us that she freed the slaves...

733
00:50:54.134 --> 00:50:56.386
-and...
-And…

734
00:50:56.887 --> 00:50:58.096
…she was ugly.

735
00:51:04.352 --> 00:51:05.353
Give a fuck.

736
00:51:06.188 --> 00:51:07.314
It's the truth!

737
00:51:07.981 --> 00:51:10.692
It's what the fuck they say.
She freed the slaves.

738
00:51:11.526 --> 00:51:14.946
And... she was ugly.

739
00:51:16.865 --> 00:51:18.408
It's a motherfucking lie.

740
00:51:19.910 --> 00:51:22.996
Harriet... was motherfucking beautiful.

741
00:51:24.414 --> 00:51:27.626
Slavery was the ugly bitch.

742
00:51:31.338 --> 00:51:33.840
One more time for the people
in the back, Katt. I said...

743
00:51:35.383 --> 00:51:37.928
-Harriet was beautiful.

744
00:51:38.011 --> 00:51:40.639
Slavery was ugly.

745
00:51:41.556 --> 00:51:43.016
Uh-huh, uh-huh.

746
00:51:44.100 --> 00:51:45.769
And to free the slaves...

747
00:51:47.145 --> 00:51:49.064
Harriet needed to be ugly.

748
00:51:50.565 --> 00:51:52.192
'Cause the enemy was ugly.

749
00:51:54.486 --> 00:51:57.239
Harriet wasn't the only woman
out there freeing slaves.

750
00:51:57.948 --> 00:51:59.866
There was another woman
out there freeing slaves.

751
00:51:59.950 --> 00:52:01.201
Her name was Beulah.

752
00:52:03.286 --> 00:52:05.580
She was beautiful.
Looked like Tracee Ellis Ross.

753
00:52:05.664 --> 00:52:08.166
Light skin, hair down to her ass,
bubble butt,

754
00:52:08.250 --> 00:52:10.585
smelled like fruit and berries.
Everybody loved her.

755
00:52:12.212 --> 00:52:14.422
Thousands of slaves followed Beulah.

756
00:52:15.757 --> 00:52:18.969
But beautiful couldn't get you away
from being a slave.

757
00:52:19.052 --> 00:52:20.595
You needed ugly.

758
00:52:21.429 --> 00:52:25.267
'Cause your life was on the line, bitch.
This is real slavery.

759
00:52:26.268 --> 00:52:28.478
You in the real woods.

760
00:52:29.855 --> 00:52:31.606
This is really midnight.

761
00:52:36.444 --> 00:52:38.238
And if anybody see you...

762
00:52:39.155 --> 00:52:42.075
from an adult to a small child...

763
00:52:43.034 --> 00:52:45.203
your ass is dead, bitch.

764
00:52:46.454 --> 00:52:48.164
And you going through them woods.

765
00:52:58.425 --> 00:53:01.177
You hear them dogs coming from a distance.

766
00:53:04.347 --> 00:53:07.767
That's generally when niggas get scared,
start running, and get killed.

767
00:53:11.187 --> 00:53:13.690
But you ain't have to be scared
if you was with Harriet.

768
00:53:14.608 --> 00:53:18.403
Them dogs will come.

769
00:53:18.904 --> 00:53:22.699
And Harriet will get down
eye-to-eye with them dogs.

770
00:53:30.248 --> 00:53:32.292
Pull a pistol out of her panties.

771
00:53:33.084 --> 00:53:36.171
You just hear the dogs...

772
00:53:44.054 --> 00:53:45.722
A lot of people followed Beulah.

773
00:53:47.349 --> 00:53:48.433
She was beautiful.

774
00:53:49.476 --> 00:53:52.896
But that bitch didn't have the GPS
of a box of rocks.

775
00:53:55.190 --> 00:53:57.734
Three thousand slaves
followed that beautiful bitch,

776
00:53:57.817 --> 00:54:02.447
and wound up on their same master's
plantation at three in the afternoon.

777
00:54:07.202 --> 00:54:08.662
"Damn it, Beulah!"

778
00:54:16.753 --> 00:54:19.214
Just got to thank God for small blessings.

779
00:54:20.966 --> 00:54:22.217
I like all vaginas.

780
00:54:26.596 --> 00:54:28.264
But there's something about a big clit.

781
00:54:30.684 --> 00:54:32.644
Ladies, don't identify yourselves.

782
00:54:35.313 --> 00:54:37.399
I'm saying,
all clitorises are fine, but...

783
00:54:39.109 --> 00:54:40.610
something about that big clit.

784
00:54:41.403 --> 00:54:42.946
Fellas, if you in here...

785
00:54:44.614 --> 00:54:46.241
with Big Clit, I don't mean to be...

786
00:54:48.910 --> 00:54:50.286
…disrespectful or nothing.

787
00:54:50.370 --> 00:54:53.456
I'm not going to refer to it
as that anymore. I'm going to say...

788
00:54:54.582 --> 00:54:56.501
say there's a gentleman here
with B.C.

789
00:55:07.429 --> 00:55:09.347
Now, the fellas in here with Big Clit...

790
00:55:09.431 --> 00:55:11.850
-Can I raise my hand?
-Don't raise your hand, sir.

791
00:55:13.268 --> 00:55:14.936
He said, "Can I raise my hand?"

792
00:55:19.065 --> 00:55:23.570
Fellas, have you ever seen a clitoris
so big it shamed your penis?

793
00:55:25.280 --> 00:55:27.282
You just caught it at the wrong angle.

794
00:55:29.451 --> 00:55:32.454
Looked at that wrong.
Did that bitch have a hook in it?

795
00:55:36.666 --> 00:55:38.209
Some of the fellas are looking at me

796
00:55:38.293 --> 00:55:40.211
because you don't know
if your girl's clitoris is...

797
00:55:40.962 --> 00:55:43.798
big or... too big.

798
00:55:45.800 --> 00:55:47.052
But that ain't true.

799
00:55:47.677 --> 00:55:50.472
'Cause your body will let you know
if the clitoris is too big.

800
00:55:53.933 --> 00:55:57.020
Fellas, you know your relationship
with the vagina is a dance.

801
00:56:04.861 --> 00:56:07.906
You feel your body doing something
that's unnatural.

802
00:56:09.407 --> 00:56:10.784
That's a red flag.

803
00:56:11.659 --> 00:56:13.036
So if you eating the pussy,

804
00:56:13.119 --> 00:56:16.414
and you feel yourself doing something
you ain't never done while eating pussy...

805
00:56:17.040 --> 00:56:18.500
You feel yourself go...

806
00:56:25.924 --> 00:56:28.635
Abort mission!

807
00:56:28.718 --> 00:56:31.721
That's a dick-sucking move!
What was that?

808
00:56:32.430 --> 00:56:34.682
If you eating pussy,
and you feel yourself go...

809
00:56:38.603 --> 00:56:41.606
Fellas, you ever have to hold the clitoris
with both your fingers?

810
00:56:44.067 --> 00:56:45.860
You catch yourself in the mirror.

811
00:56:50.031 --> 00:56:52.283
I am sucking this bitch's penis.

812
00:57:03.002 --> 00:57:04.170
In conclusion...

813
00:57:08.633 --> 00:57:10.844
...there ain't nothing like that big clit,
'cause that...

814
00:57:10.969 --> 00:57:13.304
-Shut up!
-I won't shut up.

815
00:57:14.764 --> 00:57:16.641
You hear how that big clit just talk?

816
00:57:17.517 --> 00:57:18.601
Shut up!

817
00:57:21.229 --> 00:57:22.522
It'll be all right

818
00:57:22.605 --> 00:57:26.151
for us, fellas, when it first start.
But when it don't stop growing,

819
00:57:26.234 --> 00:57:28.319
we don't know what to do. So...

820
00:57:33.950 --> 00:57:36.286
You be thinking the clitoris
at its regular size...

821
00:57:37.454 --> 00:57:38.496
and you'll be licking,

822
00:57:38.580 --> 00:57:40.665
and that motherfucker swell up
in your mouth...

823
00:57:48.882 --> 00:57:52.760
Fellas, if you've ever licked up
under your woman's clitoris, it means.

824
00:57:53.636 --> 00:57:54.971
Thank y'all so much, Vegas.

825
00:57:55.054 --> 00:57:57.974
Have a good night, and God bless y'all.
I appreciate you.