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Downloaded from
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[crowd murmuring]

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EMCEE:
<i>Welcome to STEMCON...</i>

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[applause]

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<i>...the biggest science, technology,</i>
<i>engineering and mathematics competition</i>

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<i>of the year.</i>

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<i>Now, welcome to the stage</i>
<i>our reigning champion,</i>

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<i>sure to dazzle us yet again,</i>

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<i>Ms. Avery Hansen-White.</i>

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[cheering]

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STUDENT: Go, Avery!

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AVERY: <i>I might not have been standing</i>
<i>naked in front of this audience,</i>

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<i>but, trust me, this was</i>
<i>my absolute worst nightmare.</i>

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<i>Let me back up a bit.</i>

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♪ upbeat music playing ♪

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<i>I thought I had it all figured out.</i>

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<i>♪ I'm amazing! ♪</i>

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<i>I had a record-breaking GPA,</i>
<i>an impeccable résumé,</i>

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<i>and an early acceptance to MIT,</i>

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<i>with a side of full ride.</i>

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<i>♪ Who you lookin' at? ♪</i>

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<i>I don't want to say I ruled the school,</i>

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<i>but I ruled the school.</i>

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STUDENT: Whoa!

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AVERY: <i>And not because I cared about</i>
<i>fitting in with the popular crowd</i>

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<i>or finding a hot date to prom.</i>

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<i>Eff all that.</i>

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<i>STEMCON was my prom.</i>

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Hello, girlfriends.

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<i>The national STEM competition</i>
<i>was the event of the year</i>

32
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<i>and wining the senior year competition</i>
<i>is the holy grail.</i>

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<i>You win a fellowship</i>
<i>that basically sets you up for life.</i>

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<i>Everyone was rooting for me except...</i>

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Carlson.

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- Hey, Avery.

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AVERY: <i>But she teaches sex ed,</i>
<i>which doesn't count.</i>

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STUDENT: Avery's here.

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[indistinct conversation]

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- Today is the day.
- Ooh!

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- Ah, there she is.
- God, what a power couple.

42
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Got a perfect score on his SAT.

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- He is a perfect score.

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And trust me, his brain is huge.

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AVERY: Here it comes, here it is!

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[computer beeps]

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[rhythmic fanfare plays]

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<i>- Hey, hey, STEMMERS,</i>
<i>are you excited? I am.</i>

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<i>Former STEMCON champ Nada Raj here,</i>

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<i>coming at you</i>
<i>with this year's STEM challenge.</i>

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<i>Now I know at this moment</i>
<i>you're all at the edge of your seats,</i>

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<i>anxiously awaiting this year's prom,</i>

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<i>so, without further ado, here it is.</i>

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<i>Create an app...</i>

55
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- Oh, my God, it's your thing!

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<i>- ...that solves a problem</i>
<i>in your personal life.</i>

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- Oh, my God, you are so
gonna win STEMCON again.

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MIT, Nobel Peace.

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Look out, world,
here comes Avery Hansen-White!

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So, you must have concepts
flooding your mind.

61
00:03:03.208 --> 00:03:05.125
- Oh, yeah. No, they sure are.

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- Like what? Like what?

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NADA:
<i>Here's a chance to prove your mettle</i>

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<i>at the nation's greatest</i>
<i>science competition.</i>

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<i>We'll see you and your</i>
<i>life-improving app in a month.</i>

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<i>Get ready, get set...</i>

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<i>make like an apple and STEM!</i>

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STUDENT: Avery?

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[school bell ringing]

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Hello?

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So... what's the story?

72
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- Oh, uh, STEMCON.
- Oh, they announced the challenge?

73
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- Yeah. I basically have to create an app
to solve a problem in my personal life.

74
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- Ooh, maybe you should start
by having one.

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AVERY: Hmm.

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<i>This is Larson.</i>

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[blows raspberry]

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<i>We've been friends</i>
<i>basically our whole lives.</i>

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- I have a bootiful and powerful vagina.

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This is my vulvar,
up dare is my cervakicks.

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- [chuckles]
This is my pee-pee! Waaah!

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AVERY: <i>While he didn't share my passion</i>
<i>for scientific precision...</i>

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- I'm in the ocean!

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AVERY: ... <i>he was always game to be</i>
<i>the subject of my experiments.</i>

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<i>While I was setting</i>
<i>the academic bar for our peers,</i>

86
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<i>he was giving the assist.</i>

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<i>I was breaking records</i>
<i>and publishing research...</i>

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- You did it!

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<i>- ...he was taking one for the team.</i>

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<i>Until freshman year when</i>
<i>our experimenting came to a hard stop.</i>

91
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- Oh!

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AVERY: <i>We decided to retire</i>
<i>our scholarly partnership</i>

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<i>and just be friends.</i>

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- Sorry.

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- Cute.
- Shut up.

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Some of us experience
attraction to other humans.

97
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- Yeah, and for some of us,
attraction is sapiosexual.

98
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- Wha...

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- Intellectual.

100
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- Right, like with your imaginary
science camp boyfriend?

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- Yes. Casper does my brain
like no one else.

102
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You know he speaks fluent Vulcan?

103
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- Vulcan? Why not learn a useful language
like Latin or Chinese?

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- What do you mean, Mandarin or Cantonese?

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Doesn't matter, he actually speaks both.

106
00:05:01.917 --> 00:05:04.292
And there's actually a petition
circulating to make Vulcan

107
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the eighth romance language,
so knock it off.

108
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- Are you taking him to prom?

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- Prom? Are you kidding?

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- No.

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- Do you really think prom
is on my list of priorities?

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- No. That's my point.

113
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You never do any
of the regular high school stuff.

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You need to have fun.

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- Nailing life is fun for me, Larson.

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- We're seniors, and you still have
never been to a school dance.

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Now, we both know you don't
do things you're not great at,

118
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which makes me think you can't dance.

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- Oh, I could dance if I wanted to,

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but it won't win me a Nobel Prize.

121
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- Okay, so go to nerd prom with Casper
and go to fun prom with me.

122
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- Go to prom with you. Oh, no.

123
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- Come on.
Senior single scene is dire.

124
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Everyone's all coupled up.

125
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- Well, why don't you ask that cute girl
who melted your brain seconds ago?

126
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- She didn't melt my brain.
Besides, I have zero ins.

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You, you're my oldest friend.

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And next year, you'll be far away.

129
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It's the end of an era.

130
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Let's do prom.

131
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It's like a rite of passage.

132
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- That's really sweet, Larson,

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but if you wanna do prom, you should
ask someone who would enjoy it.

134
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[scoffs]

135
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Just more concerned with academic
milestones than superfluous ones.

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[Larson scoffs]

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- It's a rough one.

138
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- Yeah.

139
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[school bell rings]

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AVERY: <i>I had 33 days to create</i>
<i>an app for STEMCON.</i>

141
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<i>I never had a shortage of ideas,</i>
<i>but I had already optimized my life</i>

142
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<i>so there were no areas of weakness.</i>

143
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<i>There was nothing to improve.</i>

144
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<i>Give me global warming,</i>
<i>give me world hunger.</i>

145
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<i>But a personal problem?</i>

146
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♪ ringtone playing ♪

147
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- Hey.
<i>- So, 33 days.</i>

148
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- Yeah. You, me, STEMCON.

149
00:06:57.375 --> 00:06:58.667
<i>- STEMCON nights.</i>

150
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- It's like we chose
the challenge ourselves.

151
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<i>- I cannot wait for you to see</i>
<i>what I've been working with.</i>

152
00:07:03.417 --> 00:07:04.458
<i>You?</i>

153
00:07:04.458 --> 00:07:06.542
- Yeah. I, uh...

154
00:07:07.625 --> 00:07:09.708
got some aces up my sleeve.

155
00:07:10.333 --> 00:07:12.000
<i>- I've got an ace in my pants.</i>

156
00:07:12.958 --> 00:07:14.708
- What?
- <i>Uh, I'm...</i>

157
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<i>I'm saying, uh,</i>

158
00:07:16.500 --> 00:07:20.917
<i>we have a lot of experimenting to do.</i>

159
00:07:21.875 --> 00:07:23.750
- Oh. Should I organize a control group?

160
00:07:23.750 --> 00:07:24.833
<i>- Avery...</i>

161
00:07:25.875 --> 00:07:28.375
<i>We've been dating for a while now.</i>

162
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<i>I'm DTF.</i>

163
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<i>Babe, down to fuck.</i>

164
00:07:33.375 --> 00:07:34.708
- Oh.

165
00:07:34.708 --> 00:07:35.833
<i>- Babe?</i>

166
00:07:36.583 --> 00:07:38.042
<i>Babe, I think you froze.</i>

167
00:07:38.625 --> 00:07:39.917
- Uh...
<i>- Is it me? What...?</i>

168
00:07:39.917 --> 00:07:41.417
- Uh...
<i>- Babe?</i>

169
00:07:41.417 --> 00:07:43.625
<i>You there?</i>
<i>Do we have a bad connection here?</i>

170
00:07:43.625 --> 00:07:44.667
<i>What's going on?</i>

171
00:07:44.667 --> 00:07:46.042
- Oh, thank God.

172
00:07:46.042 --> 00:07:47.875
<i>It's not like I was scared of sex.</i>

173
00:07:47.875 --> 00:07:49.875
<i>I was raised in a progressive family.</i>

174
00:07:49.875 --> 00:07:53.083
<i>But I just was not prepared for this.</i>
<i>Let me explain.</i>

175
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WOMAN 1: How are you feeling?
WOMAN 2: Yes, how are you feeling?

176
00:07:56.083 --> 00:07:57.625
WOMAN 1: Name your feelings by name.

177
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Do you understand what's going on?

178
00:07:59.083 --> 00:08:00.375
<i>- These are my moms.</i>

179
00:08:00.375 --> 00:08:02.667
<i>Mama Suze is a steadfast lesbo,</i>

180
00:08:02.667 --> 00:08:05.208
<i>and Ma Deb is an artist,</i>

181
00:08:05.208 --> 00:08:07.958
<i>renowned for vulvic art that would</i>
<i>make Georgia O'Keeffe blush.</i>

182
00:08:07.958 --> 00:08:09.875
- We still love you.

183
00:08:09.875 --> 00:08:11.292
- So much.

184
00:08:11.292 --> 00:08:13.083
<i>- And that's Kim, my bonus mom.</i>

185
00:08:13.083 --> 00:08:15.750
<i>She doesn't do labels,</i>
<i>but she does do Ma Deb.</i>

186
00:08:15.750 --> 00:08:18.125
- And you can live with whoever you want.

187
00:08:18.125 --> 00:08:22.667
- I'm going to split my time 50-50
so as to reduce the burden on all.

188
00:08:24.042 --> 00:08:25.417
- Ohh!

189
00:08:25.417 --> 00:08:27.833
AVERY:
<i>I have no shortage of maternal support,</i>

190
00:08:27.833 --> 00:08:32.042
<i>but they weren't exactly the ones</i>
<i>to turn to for advice on sex with men.</i>

191
00:08:34.125 --> 00:08:37.458
- Don't you think you'll feel better
if you just tell me?

192
00:08:37.458 --> 00:08:39.375
- No, 'cause you'll just tell Ma Deb.

193
00:08:39.375 --> 00:08:41.583
- Would you prefer I guess?

194
00:08:41.583 --> 00:08:44.208
- [scoffs] Yeah. Good luck there.

195
00:08:44.208 --> 00:08:46.750
- You and Casper are ready to have sex.

196
00:08:47.958 --> 00:08:49.458
- How did you know?

197
00:08:49.458 --> 00:08:51.625
- A mother always knows.

198
00:08:53.125 --> 00:08:57.167
Hulu recommended <i>40-Year-Old Virgin</i>
and <i>Wet Hot American Summer.</i>

199
00:08:57.167 --> 00:08:59.167
- Damn algorithms.

200
00:08:59.167 --> 00:09:03.250
- Listen, you shouldn't feel pressured
to do this if you don't want to.

201
00:09:03.250 --> 00:09:05.375
- Okay, I know that,

202
00:09:05.375 --> 00:09:08.333
but... I want to.

203
00:09:09.583 --> 00:09:10.792
- Okay.

204
00:09:12.417 --> 00:09:14.833
What have you two explored so far?

205
00:09:16.667 --> 00:09:18.000
Kissing?

206
00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:19.458
Probably kissing.

207
00:09:20.667 --> 00:09:22.125
But like anywhere...

208
00:09:23.042 --> 00:09:25.250
other than the mouth?

209
00:09:26.500 --> 00:09:27.583
- Oh.

210
00:09:28.292 --> 00:09:29.375
Um...

211
00:09:29.375 --> 00:09:33.083
No, but I haven't seen him
since last year's STEM, so...

212
00:09:33.083 --> 00:09:34.292
- Okay.

213
00:09:35.542 --> 00:09:37.083
- God, I can't be bad at this.

214
00:09:37.083 --> 00:09:40.875
- This is not the time
to be a perfectionist.

215
00:09:40.875 --> 00:09:43.708
Sex is supposed to be messy.

216
00:09:43.708 --> 00:09:46.208
It's fun.
- Oh, my God.

217
00:09:46.208 --> 00:09:47.750
I'm gonna blow.

218
00:09:47.750 --> 00:09:50.708
- You blow whatever
you're comfortable with.

219
00:09:50.708 --> 00:09:54.458
Head, shoulders... knees and toes.

220
00:09:54.458 --> 00:09:56.208
- I can blow his mind.
- Mm-hmm.

221
00:09:56.208 --> 00:09:59.667
- I mean, we have
these braingasms together.

222
00:09:59.667 --> 00:10:01.458
- [softly] Braingasms.

223
00:10:02.667 --> 00:10:05.083
I'm gonna call Dr. Dwight

224
00:10:05.083 --> 00:10:08.167
to make an appointment
to talk about birth control.

225
00:10:08.167 --> 00:10:10.750
- I'm not even having sex.
- But you're thinking about it.

226
00:10:10.750 --> 00:10:13.292
- No, <i>you're</i> thinking about it.

227
00:10:13.292 --> 00:10:15.792
- Oh, okay...

228
00:10:15.792 --> 00:10:17.042
[door closes]

229
00:10:17.042 --> 00:10:18.875
[line ringing]

230
00:10:18.875 --> 00:10:20.500
She's on the move.

231
00:10:20.500 --> 00:10:23.708
♪ energetic music playing ♪

232
00:10:23.708 --> 00:10:25.375
[murmuring to self]

233
00:10:34.958 --> 00:10:37.458
- Oh, Jesus!
- We got a lot of options.

234
00:10:37.458 --> 00:10:39.417
- Yes.
- Ribbed, lubed, flavored.

235
00:10:39.417 --> 00:10:41.083
[laughs] Piña colada.

236
00:10:41.083 --> 00:10:43.208
Such a complex flavor. Delicious.

237
00:10:43.208 --> 00:10:44.292
[gulps]

238
00:10:44.292 --> 00:10:45.625
- Tastes like sunscreen.

239
00:10:45.625 --> 00:10:48.250
- You don't have to do
anything you don't wanna do.

240
00:10:48.250 --> 00:10:49.458
- Can we not do this?

241
00:10:49.458 --> 00:10:53.333
- We just want you to remember that
your body is perfect the way that it is,

242
00:10:53.333 --> 00:10:54.875
especially your labia.

243
00:10:56.375 --> 00:10:57.792
As far as I remember.

244
00:10:58.292 --> 00:11:00.458
- She's just worried
you'll start judging your body

245
00:11:00.458 --> 00:11:02.292
the second you're in the presence
of a naked man.

246
00:11:02.292 --> 00:11:05.833
- Uh, the damage is already done.

247
00:11:06.333 --> 00:11:08.208
I've been comparing my hoo-ha

248
00:11:08.208 --> 00:11:11.250
to the country's top-rated snatch
for the last decade.

249
00:11:11.250 --> 00:11:14.375
- We do not use that word
in this house, young lady.

250
00:11:14.375 --> 00:11:16.417
- Take back the snatch.
No snatch talk, Ave.

251
00:11:16.417 --> 00:11:18.333
- It's "hoo-ha" she knows I can't stand.

252
00:11:18.333 --> 00:11:21.042
- Hoo-ha.
- Words like that promote vagina shame.

253
00:11:21.042 --> 00:11:22.750
- Mm, ashamed of my lady parts?

254
00:11:22.750 --> 00:11:24.750
- Hmm-mm.
- My cookie? My wittle kitty?

255
00:11:24.750 --> 00:11:26.958
- Stop it right now.
- My hot dog bun?

256
00:11:26.958 --> 00:11:28.792
My sprinkler?
- Pink taco.

257
00:11:28.792 --> 00:11:31.125
- Wrong team, Kim.
- That's right.

258
00:11:31.125 --> 00:11:33.833
- You guys have no idea what it's like
to lose your virginity.

259
00:11:34.458 --> 00:11:35.708
- Yes, we do.
- Sure, we do.

260
00:11:35.708 --> 00:11:39.333
- How? How would you define
when exactly that happened?

261
00:11:39.333 --> 00:11:44.042
Because if someone finger-bangs me,
that's a measly second base.

262
00:11:44.042 --> 00:11:45.917
- Only second?
[Avery groans]

263
00:11:45.917 --> 00:11:47.958
[scoffs] Not the way I do it.

264
00:11:47.958 --> 00:11:49.542
[door slams]
- Hmm, touchdown.

265
00:11:49.542 --> 00:11:50.583
- No sports.

266
00:11:51.833 --> 00:11:55.167
AVERY: <i>How was I supposed to get</i>
<i>great at sex by STEMCON?</i>

267
00:11:55.167 --> 00:11:57.375
<i>The thing is, Larson was right.</i>

268
00:11:57.375 --> 00:11:59.500
<i>I don't do things I'm not great at.</i>

269
00:12:00.208 --> 00:12:02.542
<i>I just have to master it,</i>
<i>like everything else in my life.</i>

270
00:12:03.208 --> 00:12:06.667
<i>Avery Hansen-White can do</i>
<i>anything she puts her mind to.</i>

271
00:12:06.667 --> 00:12:08.667
♪

272
00:12:20.458 --> 00:12:23.708
[softly] "Get good at sex."

273
00:12:35.417 --> 00:12:36.625
<i>That's it.</i>

274
00:12:37.292 --> 00:12:41.042
<i>Utilizing AI, I could create an algorithm</i>
<i>that would take the data</i>

275
00:12:41.042 --> 00:12:43.917
<i>and prescribe steps</i>
<i>for a successful sexual experience.</i>

276
00:12:43.917 --> 00:12:47.542
<i>I... I'd have my app and be prepared</i>
<i>for STEM night with Casper.</i>

277
00:12:47.542 --> 00:12:49.542
<i>This was a win-win.</i>

278
00:12:50.375 --> 00:12:52.250
<i>My app would have a dictation feature,</i>

279
00:12:52.250 --> 00:12:56.583
<i>so I programmed the AI</i>
<i>to sound like the sexiest of voices.</i>

280
00:12:56.583 --> 00:12:59.333
SPOCK-LIKE VOICE: <i>Greetings.</i>
<i>Dictation feature is ready.</i>

281
00:12:59.333 --> 00:13:01.167
AVERY: <i>Spock, of course.</i>

282
00:13:02.042 --> 00:13:04.208
<i>I trained Spock to scan</i>
<i>all corners of the Web</i>

283
00:13:04.208 --> 00:13:06.458
<i>for information regarding sex.</i>

284
00:13:09.958 --> 00:13:12.542
Spock, how does one have good sex?

285
00:13:13.542 --> 00:13:16.833
SPOCK: <i>Based on current data,</i>
<i>good sex is achieved by</i>

286
00:13:16.833 --> 00:13:20.208
<i>butt plug, choking, stepmom, dick out...</i>

287
00:13:20.208 --> 00:13:21.958
- Ow!
SPOCK: <i>...naughty gorilla,</i>

288
00:13:21.958 --> 00:13:23.375
<i>squirting, yoga pants--</i>

289
00:13:23.375 --> 00:13:25.667
AVERY:
<i>I needed to refine the search.</i>

290
00:13:25.667 --> 00:13:27.417
<i>What better resource to turn to</i>

291
00:13:27.417 --> 00:13:29.250
<i>than the collective</i>
<i>high-school wisdom of the ages?</i>

292
00:13:29.250 --> 00:13:31.750
MAN: <i>Like this!</i>
[audience laughing, gasping]

293
00:13:31.750 --> 00:13:34.167
- So this is what people watch.

294
00:13:34.167 --> 00:13:38.792
SPOCK: <i>Based on available data,</i>
<i>good sex is achieved by boobs, flashing...</i>

295
00:13:38.792 --> 00:13:41.792
MAMA SUZE: Everything okay in there?
- What? No, everything's fine.

296
00:13:41.792 --> 00:13:44.542
SPOCK: <i>...boobs, kegger, pie...</i>

297
00:13:44.542 --> 00:13:47.292
AVERY: <i>Apparently Hollywood</i>
<i>was not the best source either.</i>

298
00:13:47.292 --> 00:13:50.542
<i>I hated to do it,</i>
<i>but I have to revisit sex ed.</i>

299
00:13:50.542 --> 00:13:54.333
- Mycoplasma, genitaliums,
the new chlamydia.

300
00:13:54.333 --> 00:13:55.958
May I help you, Ms. Hansen-White?

301
00:13:55.958 --> 00:13:58.542
- I'm collecting sources in preparation
for losing my virginity.

302
00:13:59.500 --> 00:14:00.458
- Oh.

303
00:14:01.458 --> 00:14:04.583
SPOCK: <i>G-spot, premarital sex,</i>
<i>burn in hell...</i>

304
00:14:04.583 --> 00:14:05.875
- I know it's not in the manual,

305
00:14:05.875 --> 00:14:09.208
but I could use a little tutorial
on the mechanics of the clitoris.

306
00:14:09.208 --> 00:14:12.125
- I cannot tell you
how to pleasure yourself.

307
00:14:12.125 --> 00:14:14.750
Ask your parents.
You have three months.

308
00:14:14.750 --> 00:14:17.250
AVERY:
<i>Clearly sex ed wasn't the answer.</i>

309
00:14:17.250 --> 00:14:19.000
<i>I was back to the drawing board.</i>

310
00:14:19.667 --> 00:14:21.417
<i>What would I tell Casper?</i>
[phone buzzing]

311
00:14:21.417 --> 00:14:23.000
<i>I had made no progress.</i>

312
00:14:24.167 --> 00:14:26.667
<i>Research was consuming my life.</i>

313
00:14:26.667 --> 00:14:29.250
<i>The rest of my studies</i>
<i>were starting to slip.</i>

314
00:14:30.208 --> 00:14:34.125
I know you're new here,
so perhaps you didn't find value

315
00:14:34.125 --> 00:14:38.875
in my argument that Romeo and Juliet
had total control over their tragic fate

316
00:14:38.875 --> 00:14:42.083
and rather chose to weaken themselves
to adolescent impulse.

317
00:14:42.083 --> 00:14:43.583
SPOCK: <i>Booty, butt cheeks...</i>

318
00:14:43.583 --> 00:14:46.958
- Logic is the beginning of wisdom,
not the end.

319
00:14:46.958 --> 00:14:48.125
- Yeah, I...

320
00:14:48.792 --> 00:14:50.208
get that you were quoting Spock.

321
00:14:50.208 --> 00:14:51.750
SPOCK: <i>Slap my ass!</i>

322
00:14:51.750 --> 00:14:54.042
- And it's clear that you
understood the text,

323
00:14:54.042 --> 00:14:56.333
but you missed that fundamental thing.

324
00:14:56.333 --> 00:14:57.458
They were in love.

325
00:14:57.458 --> 00:14:58.542
[scoffs]

326
00:14:59.208 --> 00:15:02.208
Avery, I'm sorry, the grade stands.

327
00:15:03.583 --> 00:15:06.375
[school bell rings]
- I don't have time for this right now.

328
00:15:06.917 --> 00:15:08.375
But this isn't over.

329
00:15:13.833 --> 00:15:15.708
♪ ringtone playing ♪

330
00:15:25.917 --> 00:15:27.417
- Good morning.

331
00:15:27.417 --> 00:15:28.708
[Avery groans]

332
00:15:28.708 --> 00:15:31.750
[laughs] Wanna start
by naming your feelings?

333
00:15:31.750 --> 00:15:35.042
- It's like my brain just froze
and now I can't even talk to him.

334
00:15:35.042 --> 00:15:37.167
You know, like he just wants
to Google hang,

335
00:15:37.167 --> 00:15:39.958
and all I can think about is,
what does his penis look like?

336
00:15:39.958 --> 00:15:41.958
- Totally normal.

337
00:15:41.958 --> 00:15:44.292
I mean, normal to think that.

338
00:15:44.292 --> 00:15:47.500
[laughs] I don't know
if his penis is normal.

339
00:15:47.500 --> 00:15:49.667
You know what, how about a book?

340
00:15:49.667 --> 00:15:52.417
I might have a copy
of <i>Fifty Shades of Grey.</i>

341
00:15:52.417 --> 00:15:55.042
- Eww. They should have called it
<i>Fifty Shades of Grammatical Error.</i>

342
00:15:55.042 --> 00:15:56.958
The books are moot, trust me.

343
00:15:56.958 --> 00:16:00.167
Which is why I fed my AI
all these teen sex comedies,

344
00:16:00.167 --> 00:16:03.250
but those are all just like
these horny boys humping pie or...

345
00:16:03.250 --> 00:16:04.875
- How about a Molly Ringwald flick?

346
00:16:04.875 --> 00:16:08.083
Hmm, Ma Deb had a thing
for her, let me tell you.

347
00:16:08.083 --> 00:16:10.958
I had this red wig and--
- Please don't.

348
00:16:10.958 --> 00:16:14.375
- Okay.
- No. All of her movies end at the kiss.

349
00:16:15.250 --> 00:16:17.875
Movies talk to girls
about falling in love,

350
00:16:17.875 --> 00:16:19.167
not having sex.

351
00:16:19.167 --> 00:16:22.375
How do I get an accurate representation
of the actual experience?

352
00:16:22.375 --> 00:16:25.333
- Well, why not ask
your friends for advice?

353
00:16:25.333 --> 00:16:27.417
- Hmm, Ms. Russell doesn't know
anything about boys.

354
00:16:27.417 --> 00:16:30.583
- Okay, I meant your fellow students.

355
00:16:30.583 --> 00:16:33.333
- You know, I knew you
wouldn't be any help.

356
00:16:33.875 --> 00:16:35.917
I should be collecting data
from my fellow students.

357
00:16:37.833 --> 00:16:39.750
- Well, I'm glad I couldn't help.
[school bell rings]

358
00:16:39.750 --> 00:16:42.750
AVERY: <i>Prompted by absolutely</i>
<i>nothing Mama Suze said,</i>

359
00:16:42.750 --> 00:16:44.500
<i>I decided the best course of action</i>

360
00:16:44.500 --> 00:16:47.708
<i>was to crowd-source</i>
<i>the necessary intel from my peers.</i>

361
00:16:47.708 --> 00:16:51.042
- Do you consent to the recording
of this conversation for the purpose
of data collection?

362
00:16:51.042 --> 00:16:53.375
- Um... sure, why not?

363
00:16:53.375 --> 00:16:55.917
- You see, chicks like
their asses slapped.

364
00:16:55.917 --> 00:16:59.000
And if they're making lots of noise,
you know they're super into it.

365
00:16:59.000 --> 00:17:00.958
- The louder they are,
the more they want it.

366
00:17:00.958 --> 00:17:03.125
- Um, I haven't had sex yet.

367
00:17:03.125 --> 00:17:06.958
- But cheerleaders are the most
sexually exploited of all the sports,

368
00:17:06.958 --> 00:17:09.833
and therefore the most common object
of pursuit for your male classmates.

369
00:17:09.833 --> 00:17:11.667
How are you not getting laid all the time?

370
00:17:11.667 --> 00:17:14.250
- I'm not discussing anything
of a sexual nature,

371
00:17:14.250 --> 00:17:19.042
but by saying the word "sexual" just now,
I did not mean to imply anything sexual.

372
00:17:19.042 --> 00:17:21.167
- Sex just isn't a priority for me.

373
00:17:21.167 --> 00:17:23.375
- Is that like code for "super Christian"?

374
00:17:23.375 --> 00:17:27.208
- No, and despite what you've seen on TV,
we're not ruled by our libidos.

375
00:17:27.208 --> 00:17:29.167
- Now my fave go-to is the titty fuck.

376
00:17:29.167 --> 00:17:30.167
- Oh!

377
00:17:30.167 --> 00:17:32.250
- Squeeze 'em together... pow, pow, pow.
- Yes!

378
00:17:32.250 --> 00:17:34.917
- So, have either of you ever
so much as kissed a girl?

379
00:17:36.583 --> 00:17:37.667
- I'm working on it.

380
00:17:37.667 --> 00:17:39.375
- You're an exquisite physical specimen.

381
00:17:39.375 --> 00:17:41.833
How are you not putting
those moves to good use?

382
00:17:41.833 --> 00:17:43.958
- Because I'm not Danica McCallum.

383
00:17:43.958 --> 00:17:45.333
- I'm saving myself for Danica.

384
00:17:45.333 --> 00:17:48.333
- Yeah, babe, you know
what the fuck is going on!

385
00:17:48.333 --> 00:17:51.292
- [straining] Why don't you just
talk to Danica?

386
00:17:51.292 --> 00:17:53.917
- Danica, Danica, Danica! Oh, Danica!

387
00:17:57.000 --> 00:18:00.042
AVERY:
<i>Who was this mysterious sex goddess?</i>

388
00:18:05.542 --> 00:18:07.500
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

389
00:18:11.208 --> 00:18:12.750
<i>Danica...</i>

390
00:18:12.750 --> 00:18:14.375
<i>Effin...</i>

391
00:18:14.375 --> 00:18:15.625
<i>McCallum.</i>

392
00:18:15.625 --> 00:18:17.250
<i>♪ They call me Miss Independence... ♪</i>

393
00:18:17.250 --> 00:18:20.667
- Jared, you're supposed to come
from stage left, you dumb fuck.

394
00:18:21.167 --> 00:18:25.333
AVERY: <i>If I was Frodo,</i>
<i>Danica was to be my Gandalf.</i>

395
00:18:26.042 --> 00:18:27.500
- I've come.

396
00:18:27.500 --> 00:18:30.583
- Yeah, that's definitely
the vibe you put out there.

397
00:18:30.583 --> 00:18:33.583
<i>She was a mecca of sexual knowledge.</i>

398
00:18:33.583 --> 00:18:37.208
<i>She'd been with several types of guys</i>
<i>of every religious background.</i>

399
00:18:37.208 --> 00:18:39.167
<i>She'd seen so much cock,</i>

400
00:18:39.167 --> 00:18:41.375
<i>she actually had a preference</i>
<i>on length and girth.</i>

401
00:18:41.375 --> 00:18:45.875
- I like a solid 5-and-a-half inches with
4-and-one-quarter centimeters in diameter.

402
00:18:45.875 --> 00:18:49.167
That's about half a centimeter
larger than my vaginal canal

403
00:18:49.167 --> 00:18:50.833
so there's, like,
the right amount of pressure.

404
00:18:50.833 --> 00:18:53.708
What are you working with, like, 4 to 5?

405
00:18:54.583 --> 00:18:55.917
- I don't know.

406
00:18:55.917 --> 00:18:59.333
- Well, you gotta know.
Report back with measurements.

407
00:18:59.333 --> 00:19:00.583
Now let's talk Kegels.

408
00:19:01.708 --> 00:19:06.250
Okay, pretend like you're peeing
and you wanna stop that pee.

409
00:19:06.250 --> 00:19:07.417
So clench.

410
00:19:08.708 --> 00:19:10.625
Not your face but the cooch.

411
00:19:11.375 --> 00:19:13.167
It's not supposed to hurt. Breathe.

412
00:19:14.458 --> 00:19:16.833
Hold. Relax the face.

413
00:19:16.833 --> 00:19:18.083
Clench the cooter.

414
00:19:18.083 --> 00:19:20.125
And... release.

415
00:19:20.125 --> 00:19:21.292
[exhales softly]

416
00:19:21.292 --> 00:19:23.167
Yeah, you gotta keep that shit tight

417
00:19:23.167 --> 00:19:25.167
or you're gonna need
a big dick for the rest of your life.

418
00:19:25.167 --> 00:19:28.125
And trust me, those are hard to come by.

419
00:19:28.125 --> 00:19:29.250
- Wow.

420
00:19:29.250 --> 00:19:31.333
- Have you selected a fuck buddy yet?

421
00:19:31.333 --> 00:19:34.208
- Excuse me?
- Somebody to practice fuck.

422
00:19:34.208 --> 00:19:35.792
- Oh, no, I have a boyfriend.

423
00:19:36.333 --> 00:19:38.125
- This is for his benefit too.

424
00:19:38.125 --> 00:19:41.167
Look into it. This kind of
arrangement's quite equitable.

425
00:19:47.333 --> 00:19:49.125
[exhales]

426
00:19:49.125 --> 00:19:51.125
♪

427
00:20:02.625 --> 00:20:04.333
- ...data and...

428
00:20:04.333 --> 00:20:06.708
Spock, how does one have good sex?

429
00:20:07.542 --> 00:20:10.625
SPOCK: <i>Based on current data,</i>
<i>good sex is achieved by</i>

430
00:20:10.625 --> 00:20:12.750
<i>Kegels, titty fuck,</i>

431
00:20:12.750 --> 00:20:15.500
<i>giving Danica McCallum a blow job.</i>

432
00:20:17.750 --> 00:20:20.292
♪

433
00:20:26.125 --> 00:20:27.958
- Hey, Spock, uh...

434
00:20:27.958 --> 00:20:31.500
what are the moral stances
on using a practice partner

435
00:20:31.500 --> 00:20:34.083
to enhance the experience
for the actual partner?

436
00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:37.458
SPOCK: <i>Fuck nuts. Toilet face.</i>

437
00:20:37.458 --> 00:20:40.208
<i>- ♪ ...all I did is cry ♪</i>

438
00:20:41.667 --> 00:20:44.167
<i>♪ And I just can't take it no more ♪</i>

439
00:20:44.167 --> 00:20:47.042
<i>- ♪ What are you waiting for? ♪</i>
[Larson sighs]

440
00:20:47.042 --> 00:20:48.417
<i>♪ Just wanna try... ♪</i>

441
00:20:48.417 --> 00:20:50.958
LARSON: [softly]
Like your guitar. Is that yours?

442
00:20:51.708 --> 00:20:54.500
Yes, of course it's hers.
Is that original?

443
00:20:54.500 --> 00:20:55.917
- Hey, Larson! Hey!

444
00:20:55.917 --> 00:20:58.792
I need you to come over to my house and
hook up with me every day after school.

445
00:20:58.792 --> 00:20:59.875
[student gasps]

446
00:20:59.875 --> 00:21:01.042
- What?
- Yeah.

447
00:21:01.042 --> 00:21:03.792
You, me, sex stuff.
Are you in or are you out?

448
00:21:03.792 --> 00:21:04.958
- O... kay.

449
00:21:07.208 --> 00:21:09.583
- Yes, no? I'm... What are we...?

450
00:21:12.833 --> 00:21:14.167
- What are you talking about?

451
00:21:14.792 --> 00:21:16.875
- Oh, I'm gonna see Casper at STEMCON,

452
00:21:16.875 --> 00:21:19.542
which is at a hotel where we're
going to be staying in hotel rooms,

453
00:21:19.542 --> 00:21:22.000
and he's gonna wanna do sex stuff,

454
00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:25.958
and, you know, I've never done it
and I don't want to embarrass myself,

455
00:21:25.958 --> 00:21:29.542
so, I need someone to practice with
in a safe and exploratory environment,

456
00:21:29.542 --> 00:21:32.292
and since you and I have a history
of experimentation

457
00:21:32.292 --> 00:21:34.500
and scientific rapport, I chose you.

458
00:21:34.500 --> 00:21:36.750
- Ah! Thank you.

459
00:21:36.750 --> 00:21:38.083
- Yeah, you're welcome.

460
00:21:39.208 --> 00:21:41.750
Where are you...
Where are you going?

461
00:21:41.750 --> 00:21:42.958
Could you slow down, please?

462
00:21:42.958 --> 00:21:45.292
Okay, these are the things I need
to try and/or get better at.

463
00:21:45.292 --> 00:21:47.917
Kissing, fondling, hand jobs,
blow jobs, fingering.

464
00:21:47.917 --> 00:21:49.958
I wrote "butt stuff"
but then I crossed that out,

465
00:21:49.958 --> 00:21:51.958
dry humping and, hey,
that sounds like...

466
00:21:51.958 --> 00:21:53.833
- Whoa, whoa, hey, slow down!

467
00:21:54.875 --> 00:21:55.958
Seriously?

468
00:21:56.417 --> 00:21:58.917
You fired me when I even got
remotely close to you.

469
00:21:58.917 --> 00:22:00.417
- Oh! You <i>Afterschool Special'</i> d me.

470
00:22:00.417 --> 00:22:02.958
- I was 14 and I was trying to kiss you.

471
00:22:02.958 --> 00:22:04.000
- By groping me!

472
00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:06.542
- I grazed your boob, it's a move,

473
00:22:06.542 --> 00:22:09.792
one I admit I executed poorly,
but I was nervous.

474
00:22:09.792 --> 00:22:11.333
It was my first almost kiss

475
00:22:11.333 --> 00:22:13.708
and you friend zone'd the shit out of me.

476
00:22:13.708 --> 00:22:16.208
So hard! You sent me to friend jail.

477
00:22:16.958 --> 00:22:19.167
- Well, I'm letting you out on parole

478
00:22:19.167 --> 00:22:22.417
if you return to your position
as my test subject in this venture.

479
00:22:22.417 --> 00:22:24.292
- How is this not cheating
on your boyfriend?

480
00:22:24.292 --> 00:22:25.500
- No, I looked into it.

481
00:22:25.500 --> 00:22:27.542
This arrangement,
it's actually quite common.

482
00:22:27.542 --> 00:22:29.208
And let's be real,
how can I be exclusive

483
00:22:29.208 --> 00:22:30.750
with someone I've never
done anything with?

484
00:22:30.750 --> 00:22:34.958
So as long as we don't have sex
and there's no intimate feelings,

485
00:22:34.958 --> 00:22:35.958
it's fair play.

486
00:22:36.917 --> 00:22:38.458
- Technically it's foreplay.

487
00:22:39.417 --> 00:22:41.125
- That's bad.
- Yeah.

488
00:22:41.125 --> 00:22:42.167
So?

489
00:22:42.167 --> 00:22:44.042
- I can't sexualize you.

490
00:22:44.042 --> 00:22:46.458
I respect you too much for your brain,

491
00:22:46.458 --> 00:22:48.667
for your independence, for...

492
00:22:48.667 --> 00:22:50.583
My God.
- Oh.

493
00:22:50.583 --> 00:22:53.500
- Hmm?
STUDENT: Look away, look away.

494
00:22:53.500 --> 00:22:56.458
- So are you in?
- I can't believe you just did that.

495
00:22:56.458 --> 00:22:58.875
- Well, it proved to be an effective
cinematic tactic across genres.

496
00:22:59.958 --> 00:23:03.083
- [sighs] It's definitely tempting.

497
00:23:03.583 --> 00:23:05.792
But, I-I... no.

498
00:23:05.792 --> 00:23:07.250
Cute girl looked at me today.

499
00:23:08.042 --> 00:23:09.292
I'm 90% sure.

500
00:23:09.292 --> 00:23:11.208
I'm laying track to ask her
to prom right now,

501
00:23:11.208 --> 00:23:14.042
and I really can't have anything
throwing a wrench in that plan.

502
00:23:14.625 --> 00:23:18.208
- Au contraire,
I'm offering you the multitool.

503
00:23:18.208 --> 00:23:20.458
Countless features
and mutually beneficial.

504
00:23:20.458 --> 00:23:23.542
I mean, if cute girl
ever fully looks at you,

505
00:23:23.542 --> 00:23:25.917
you wanna be ready on prom night, right?

506
00:23:29.333 --> 00:23:30.583
- Please don't blow this for me.

507
00:23:31.292 --> 00:23:33.583
- Technically I'll be blowing you.
- Avery!

508
00:23:34.083 --> 00:23:36.750
- Okay, your house, tomorrow, 3 p. m.

509
00:23:39.667 --> 00:23:40.708
Study that.

510
00:23:41.542 --> 00:23:43.000
[school bell rings]

511
00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:45.375
- Why is "butt stuff"
before "dry humping"?

512
00:23:47.292 --> 00:23:50.292
- You know, so we'll follow the same
protocol as all our other experiments.

513
00:23:50.292 --> 00:23:54.583
And all the data will go straight
into the development of the AI,

514
00:23:54.583 --> 00:23:56.500
which I'll use to conceptualize my app,

515
00:23:56.500 --> 00:23:59.083
and then I've secured
my presentation for the challenge

516
00:23:59.083 --> 00:24:00.708
and prepared myself for STEM night,

517
00:24:00.708 --> 00:24:02.750
which, mind you, is in just 23 days.

518
00:24:03.375 --> 00:24:05.542
Questions?
- You sure you want to do this?

519
00:24:05.542 --> 00:24:06.833
For Casper?

520
00:24:06.833 --> 00:24:08.375
- For me.

521
00:24:08.375 --> 00:24:10.042
I may be a genius, but I imagine

522
00:24:10.042 --> 00:24:12.583
I'll enjoy sex as much as
any other young adult.

523
00:24:12.583 --> 00:24:13.625
- Okay then.

524
00:24:13.625 --> 00:24:16.250
Yeah, you seem to have mapped this
all out quite thoroughly.

525
00:24:16.250 --> 00:24:17.208
- Obviously.

526
00:24:17.208 --> 00:24:20.833
So, our objective is
to master sexual excellence

527
00:24:20.833 --> 00:24:24.167
by putting research
and physical skill into practice.

528
00:24:24.167 --> 00:24:25.833
- How?

529
00:24:25.833 --> 00:24:27.875
- Crowd sourcing
and simulating that information.

530
00:24:27.875 --> 00:24:29.458
- Cool. So I'm a simulator.

531
00:24:29.458 --> 00:24:32.333
Do I come with VR
or time travel capabilities?

532
00:24:32.333 --> 00:24:34.250
- Simulation can involve real people.

533
00:24:34.250 --> 00:24:37.833
- So I'm glad I'm a real person
as opposed to a non-real person.

534
00:24:37.833 --> 00:24:39.958
Are you a real person?
- Of course.

535
00:24:39.958 --> 00:24:42.292
Just with an advanced operating system.

536
00:24:43.333 --> 00:24:45.833
- I have a hypothesis for our experiment.

537
00:24:45.833 --> 00:24:48.833
- Hmm.
- Love is what makes a good lover.

538
00:24:48.833 --> 00:24:50.750
- Oh, well, I can already disprove that.

539
00:24:50.750 --> 00:24:53.917
[scoffs] Love and sex
are entirely different entities.

540
00:24:53.917 --> 00:24:56.083
- You don't think that love leads
to sex and vice versa?

541
00:24:56.083 --> 00:24:57.833
- Love is a choice.
- Right.

542
00:24:57.833 --> 00:24:59.250
- Right. Right.
- Right?

543
00:24:59.250 --> 00:25:00.417
- Right.
- Right.

544
00:25:00.417 --> 00:25:03.583
- So... first on the list. Kissing.

545
00:25:04.833 --> 00:25:06.833
Although perhaps
it should have been fondling.

546
00:25:07.583 --> 00:25:09.792
No. No, kissing. Kissing, right?

547
00:25:09.792 --> 00:25:11.667
- Okay, all right, I gotcha.
- That's right.

548
00:25:11.667 --> 00:25:14.125
- How's this to start, is this good?

549
00:25:14.125 --> 00:25:15.208
- Oh.

550
00:25:15.958 --> 00:25:17.917
Yeah, okay, good.

551
00:25:17.917 --> 00:25:19.208
Now kiss me.

552
00:25:19.208 --> 00:25:20.958
- You gonna sock me in the nuts?

553
00:25:20.958 --> 00:25:23.333
- I have a good reflex.
- Well, I need my nuts to work.

554
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:25.750
- Why would your nuts need
to work for kissing?

555
00:25:26.792 --> 00:25:27.833
- Never mind.

556
00:25:27.833 --> 00:25:30.333
On three, I'm going
to lean in and kiss you, okay?

557
00:25:30.333 --> 00:25:32.750
- Okay.
Here we go.

558
00:25:32.750 --> 00:25:33.958
[clears throat]

559
00:25:34.542 --> 00:25:37.125
One, two, three.

560
00:25:38.542 --> 00:25:40.792
Hmm. Turns out I'm a leftie.

561
00:25:40.792 --> 00:25:42.250
- Ah, yeah? All right.

562
00:25:49.375 --> 00:25:50.417
- Not bad.

563
00:25:50.417 --> 00:25:52.500
Okay. Tongue.

564
00:25:52.500 --> 00:25:54.250
- Sure.
- Cool.

565
00:25:54.250 --> 00:25:55.708
I'd like to scrape it first.
- [groans]

566
00:25:55.708 --> 00:25:57.583
Dead cells can get trapped
in the enlarged papillae.

567
00:25:57.583 --> 00:25:59.000
- Avery.
- It's gross. What?

568
00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:01.500
- How about some music? Hmm?

569
00:26:01.500 --> 00:26:02.625
- Sure.

570
00:26:02.625 --> 00:26:04.167
[Larson clears throat]

571
00:26:10.875 --> 00:26:12.708
♪ funky '70s music playing ♪

572
00:26:15.958 --> 00:26:17.292
- What is this?

573
00:26:18.375 --> 00:26:19.708
- You don't like it?

574
00:26:20.875 --> 00:26:22.958
- No. It's not working for me.

575
00:26:23.708 --> 00:26:25.167
- Yep, yes.

576
00:26:27.792 --> 00:26:31.917
<i>♪ ...from his lips as he tells me</i>
<i>he can't get enough... ♪</i>

577
00:26:31.917 --> 00:26:33.958
- It's a little vampire love triangle,
isn't it?

578
00:26:33.958 --> 00:26:36.542
- Hmm, next.
- Yeah. It's not gonna...

579
00:26:40.958 --> 00:26:43.583
♪ Burl Ives singing
<i>What Child is This?</i> ♪

580
00:26:43.583 --> 00:26:45.458
- Larson, what is this?

581
00:26:45.458 --> 00:26:47.542
- In band, we play this
for the holiday concert.

582
00:26:47.542 --> 00:26:50.375
It's got a killer brass arrangement,
just wait for it.

583
00:26:50.375 --> 00:26:51.375
[horns blowing]

584
00:26:51.375 --> 00:26:53.708
- Forget it, it's fine, this is great.
It'll do.

585
00:26:53.708 --> 00:26:55.292
- Yeah, yeah, okay, all right. Yeah.

586
00:26:55.292 --> 00:26:56.667
Okay.

587
00:26:56.667 --> 00:26:58.000
[clears throat]
- Yeah.

588
00:26:58.000 --> 00:26:59.167
[Larson clears throat]

589
00:26:59.167 --> 00:27:04.375
BURL IVES:
<i>♪ On Mary's lap is sleeping ♪</i>

590
00:27:04.375 --> 00:27:07.167
<i>♪ Whom angels greet ♪</i>

591
00:27:07.167 --> 00:27:09.458
<i>♪ With anthems sweet... ♪</i>

592
00:27:09.458 --> 00:27:11.042
- Hmm! Hmm-mm.

593
00:27:11.042 --> 00:27:12.167
Ow, my arm.
- Oh.

594
00:27:12.167 --> 00:27:14.917
- Sorry, my arm is a little stuck. Um...
- Sorry, sorry, yeah. Ah.

595
00:27:14.917 --> 00:27:16.542
Sorry, maybe we should...
Maybe, uh...

596
00:27:16.542 --> 00:27:18.875
Maybe we just lie here for a sec.

597
00:27:19.542 --> 00:27:21.500
- Yeah. [clears throat]

598
00:27:24.958 --> 00:27:26.167
[Larson clears throat]

599
00:27:31.542 --> 00:27:33.792
- [laughs] My building plan
for Fort Larson.

600
00:27:34.875 --> 00:27:37.125
LARSON: Oh, yeah.
Brilliant engineering on your part.

601
00:27:37.125 --> 00:27:38.875
AVERY: Epic construction on yours.

602
00:27:38.875 --> 00:27:40.250
- We made a good team.

603
00:27:40.250 --> 00:27:43.083
- Well, we had symbiosis.

604
00:27:43.083 --> 00:27:46.458
You're, uh... you're like
the Egyptian plover to my crocodile.

605
00:27:47.250 --> 00:27:48.625
- What's a plover?

606
00:27:49.167 --> 00:27:51.875
- Oh, it's like nature's dental assistant.

607
00:27:51.875 --> 00:27:55.750
It literally survives off the rot
it picks out of a crocodile's teeth.

608
00:27:55.750 --> 00:27:56.875
- What?

609
00:27:56.875 --> 00:28:00.250
Why am I a mouth stank-eating bird
instead of the crocodile?

610
00:28:00.250 --> 00:28:04.500
- Look, you're a bad-ass bird that lives
in the mouth of a Nile croc

611
00:28:04.500 --> 00:28:06.792
while simultaneously relieving tooth pain.

612
00:28:06.792 --> 00:28:08.125
Symbiosis.

613
00:28:08.708 --> 00:28:10.208
It's a... it's a win-win.

614
00:28:10.208 --> 00:28:12.625
- Yep. It's delicious.

615
00:28:13.833 --> 00:28:15.542
- Fine. You're the crocodile.

616
00:28:15.542 --> 00:28:17.333
- No, no, you're the crocodile.

617
00:28:17.958 --> 00:28:19.833
Saw that swamp tongue of yours.

618
00:28:22.417 --> 00:28:23.792
- Grab a boob.

619
00:28:23.792 --> 00:28:25.667
- Huh?
- Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

620
00:28:25.667 --> 00:28:26.958
Grab a boob.

621
00:28:26.958 --> 00:28:28.417
- Ah, wha... which one?

622
00:28:28.417 --> 00:28:30.333
- Just do it before I change my mind.

623
00:28:33.708 --> 00:28:35.750
Hmm? That's not bad.

624
00:28:36.667 --> 00:28:37.583
Um...

625
00:28:38.458 --> 00:28:41.708
maybe your hand goes under my shirt?

626
00:28:42.792 --> 00:28:44.458
- Y-You sure?

627
00:28:44.458 --> 00:28:45.750
- Why not?

628
00:28:45.750 --> 00:28:50.208
I mean, we've already...
dipped our feet in the pool.

629
00:28:50.208 --> 00:28:51.250
LARSON: Okay.

630
00:28:52.583 --> 00:28:54.292
[Avery giggling]

631
00:28:54.292 --> 00:28:55.667
- Tickles.

632
00:28:58.125 --> 00:28:59.750
Nice.

633
00:29:01.000 --> 00:29:02.125
Um...

634
00:29:03.833 --> 00:29:05.125
Maybe...

635
00:29:05.125 --> 00:29:06.667
your head...

636
00:29:07.625 --> 00:29:09.167
- Goes underwater?

637
00:29:12.250 --> 00:29:13.583
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

638
00:29:14.708 --> 00:29:17.042
[Avery giggling]

639
00:29:17.042 --> 00:29:20.917
This is crazy.

640
00:29:20.917 --> 00:29:23.208
♪ playful orchestral music playing ♪

641
00:29:58.000 --> 00:29:59.208
- Do you like that?

642
00:30:00.292 --> 00:30:01.292
- Mm-hmm.

643
00:30:02.292 --> 00:30:03.833
- What about this?

644
00:30:04.583 --> 00:30:06.208
[zipper unzips]
- Whoa!

645
00:30:06.208 --> 00:30:07.583
What are you doing?

646
00:30:07.583 --> 00:30:09.000
- Sorry, y-you said that...

647
00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:11.333
- Oh, yeah. No, no, no, sure.
Um, but...

648
00:30:11.333 --> 00:30:14.125
I forgot, I have, uh, homework to do.

649
00:30:15.125 --> 00:30:16.917
- Sorry, I... really, I just...
- No.

650
00:30:16.917 --> 00:30:18.708
You're fine. Just...

651
00:30:18.708 --> 00:30:21.750
- No, with everything we talked about,
I wanted to make sure that...

652
00:30:21.750 --> 00:30:23.625
- No, no, no, it's all good, all good.
Not that.

653
00:30:23.625 --> 00:30:26.167
- Okay, as long as you feel--
- Okay, yep. Bye.

654
00:30:26.167 --> 00:30:27.667
[Larson sighs]

655
00:30:27.667 --> 00:30:30.708
♪ upbeat music playing ♪

656
00:30:31.292 --> 00:30:33.583
AVERY:
<i>It was just like our other experiments,</i>

657
00:30:33.583 --> 00:30:37.208
<i>so why did this somehow seem different?</i>

658
00:30:44.583 --> 00:30:45.625
Hmm.

659
00:30:50.917 --> 00:30:53.583
<i>Trial one, kissing,</i>
<i>and trial two, fondling,</i>

660
00:30:53.583 --> 00:30:55.708
<i>were both successful entrées</i>
<i>into foreplay,</i>

661
00:30:55.708 --> 00:30:58.667
<i>but trial three would first require</i>
<i>extensive intel</i>

662
00:30:58.667 --> 00:31:01.250
<i>on assorted dick stuff.</i>

663
00:31:02.458 --> 00:31:04.208
So, what's your penis like?

664
00:31:04.208 --> 00:31:06.375
- Real thick.
- Long Dong Silver.

665
00:31:06.833 --> 00:31:10.875
- No, uh, what does it like?

666
00:31:10.875 --> 00:31:13.375
- A blow job. A blow job.

667
00:31:13.375 --> 00:31:17.042
'Cause you can't pull that off yourself.
I've tried.

668
00:31:17.042 --> 00:31:18.333
- Icy hot. [snarls]

669
00:31:18.333 --> 00:31:21.625
- To be spoken to like a sad little boy
who accidentally ruined Christmas.

670
00:31:21.625 --> 00:31:23.875
AVERY: What?
- The fuck?

671
00:31:23.875 --> 00:31:24.875
- What?

672
00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:28.667
- If you wanna become
a dick-sucking artist...

673
00:31:28.667 --> 00:31:30.417
- You've gotta have
a strong hold on the base.

674
00:31:30.417 --> 00:31:33.083
- This part, sensitive.

675
00:31:33.083 --> 00:31:36.708
- A penis Picockso,
a Bonet, a Frida Cocklo.

676
00:31:36.708 --> 00:31:38.292
- Then with the other hand,

677
00:31:38.292 --> 00:31:41.167
you come up gently over the top.

678
00:31:41.167 --> 00:31:42.375
- It's all about the tip.

679
00:31:42.375 --> 00:31:44.625
- This is where it gets good.
[splatters]

680
00:31:44.625 --> 00:31:46.875
<i>Voilà!</i>
- Pfft! Eww!

681
00:31:46.875 --> 00:31:49.042
- No guy is splooging in my mouth.

682
00:31:49.042 --> 00:31:50.708
Or on my face.

683
00:31:51.917 --> 00:31:52.875
- Oh, that's hot.

684
00:31:52.875 --> 00:31:55.333
- Why are we expected to act
like a dude's sperm

685
00:31:55.333 --> 00:31:58.083
is some sugary sweet nectar
from the gods?

686
00:31:58.083 --> 00:32:00.292
There's a reason they call it junk.

687
00:32:00.292 --> 00:32:03.375
- It's not junk, it's something
my body works hard to produce.

688
00:32:05.333 --> 00:32:06.833
- Thoughts on cradling?

689
00:32:06.833 --> 00:32:09.208
- I do not consent to this conversation.

690
00:32:16.833 --> 00:32:20.292
- Hey, let's say I successfully
perform oral to the point of ejaculation.

691
00:32:20.292 --> 00:32:22.208
Am I expected to swallow the discharge?

692
00:32:22.208 --> 00:32:24.458
- Okay.
[door clatters]

693
00:32:25.167 --> 00:32:26.750
[school bell rings]

694
00:32:30.750 --> 00:32:32.833
AVERY:
<i>The more the data kept pointing to it,</i>

695
00:32:32.833 --> 00:32:36.083
<i>the more I couldn't stop</i>
<i>thinking about "it."</i>

696
00:32:36.750 --> 00:32:38.792
<i>I was seeing them everywhere.</i>

697
00:32:38.792 --> 00:32:40.875
[whistling]

698
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:46.458
[straining]

699
00:32:46.458 --> 00:32:49.417
- These things are so hard to get off.

700
00:33:02.292 --> 00:33:04.083
- I'm exploring a new series.

701
00:33:06.500 --> 00:33:08.542
- This is my laughing clown nightmare.

702
00:33:08.542 --> 00:33:10.417
With dicks.

703
00:33:10.417 --> 00:33:13.333
- Oh, Deb's just trying
to desensitize you.

704
00:33:13.333 --> 00:33:16.667
- And she's the perfect source, too,
because she's never been with a man.

705
00:33:16.667 --> 00:33:19.583
- The gold star is a badge I proudly wear.

706
00:33:19.583 --> 00:33:21.542
- Okay, there's a diversity of options.

707
00:33:21.542 --> 00:33:25.292
You've got your lefties, your righties,
your straight shooters, your curvatures,

708
00:33:25.292 --> 00:33:27.833
and there are some
really veiny ones out there, Avery,

709
00:33:27.833 --> 00:33:28.958
just... keep that in mind.

710
00:33:30.125 --> 00:33:32.625
- Are you some secret dick wizard, Kim?

711
00:33:32.625 --> 00:33:34.167
- I saw a few in college.

712
00:33:34.167 --> 00:33:38.167
Terrifying skin pickles, but you gotta
try things to know what you want.

713
00:33:38.167 --> 00:33:39.583
Or don't want.

714
00:33:39.583 --> 00:33:42.375
- Cool. I'll just be at Hometown Buffet
sampling the local beef.

715
00:33:42.375 --> 00:33:46.500
- Okay, just remember, no matter the size,
it's the biggest you've ever seen.

716
00:33:46.500 --> 00:33:49.000
- Oh, the fragile male ego.

717
00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:51.250
Women don't measure
the size of their pussy.

718
00:33:51.917 --> 00:33:53.792
- Mine's 4.3 inches deep.

719
00:33:56.417 --> 00:33:58.375
- Period, that was a breeze.

720
00:33:58.375 --> 00:34:02.167
The losing the virginity,
this is what we've been training for.

721
00:34:02.167 --> 00:34:04.000
[line ringing]

722
00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:05.458
- Back to you!
- Yay!

723
00:34:05.458 --> 00:34:06.667
MAMA SUZE: <i>Got it.</i>

724
00:34:07.167 --> 00:34:08.500
AVERY: Dicks.

725
00:34:08.500 --> 00:34:11.667
[gasps] Oh, my God.
What are you watching?

726
00:34:11.667 --> 00:34:15.167
WOMAN ON TV: <i>Ride 'em, cowboy!</i>
- Oh, it's just... it was just on TV.

727
00:34:15.167 --> 00:34:17.833
- Uh, that's not TV, that's porn.

728
00:34:17.833 --> 00:34:21.500
- Now, how come a penis on screen
is considered porn,

729
00:34:21.500 --> 00:34:23.875
but breasts aren't?

730
00:34:23.875 --> 00:34:26.125
- Interesting.
Well, I don't know.

731
00:34:26.125 --> 00:34:28.958
Maybe 'cause breasts aren't
ramming some chick in the ass.

732
00:34:29.667 --> 00:34:30.750
- Language.

733
00:34:30.750 --> 00:34:32.958
- This has Ma Deb written all over it.

734
00:34:33.500 --> 00:34:35.917
- I told her this was a bit much.

735
00:34:35.917 --> 00:34:37.333
- This is why I can't
tell you guys anything.

736
00:34:37.333 --> 00:34:40.333
- You are right, this is, yecch!

737
00:34:40.333 --> 00:34:43.000
Actually, I don't...
I really don't like this kind of porn.

738
00:34:43.000 --> 00:34:45.208
I prefer a little softer.

739
00:34:45.208 --> 00:34:46.792
Mostly cuddling.

740
00:34:46.792 --> 00:34:48.083
And sharing feelings.

741
00:34:48.083 --> 00:34:50.000
Actually, I think I just like
documentaries.

742
00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:52.250
- Do not condone this.
- Mm-hmm.

743
00:34:52.250 --> 00:34:53.958
- Learning how to have sex
by watching porn

744
00:34:53.958 --> 00:34:57.125
is like learning how to drive
by watching <i>Fast and the Furious.</i>

745
00:34:57.125 --> 00:35:00.125
♪ energetic music playing ♪

746
00:35:05.417 --> 00:35:08.167
Okay, look, I just need to touch it.
I gotta get it over with.

747
00:35:08.167 --> 00:35:09.208
- Jesus.
- Whip it out.

748
00:35:09.208 --> 00:35:10.250
- Easy!

749
00:35:10.250 --> 00:35:13.875
He's shy, he needs a little pep talk
before he comes out of the dressing room.

750
00:35:13.875 --> 00:35:15.125
- Oh, mm-hmm, okay.

751
00:35:16.083 --> 00:35:20.667
This is your moment to step
into your light and share your talent.

752
00:35:20.667 --> 00:35:23.083
The world is ready for you to shine.

753
00:35:23.083 --> 00:35:26.083
- Avery, maybe try with your hand?

754
00:35:26.083 --> 00:35:27.417
- Yeah. Okay.

755
00:35:35.500 --> 00:35:37.542
Oh. Hey. Oh!

756
00:35:37.542 --> 00:35:38.875
Oh, it jumped.

757
00:35:38.875 --> 00:35:40.625
- Yeah...
- Uh...

758
00:35:40.625 --> 00:35:43.417
[zipper unzips]
Hey there.

759
00:35:43.417 --> 00:35:46.417
Just kind of popped out
to say hello, huh?

760
00:35:47.458 --> 00:35:50.500
Aww!
- No, don't "aww," you can't do that.

761
00:35:50.500 --> 00:35:52.167
- Oh, no, it's nice.

762
00:35:52.167 --> 00:35:54.458
And, you know, kind of sweet.

763
00:35:54.458 --> 00:35:56.000
Like an enoki.

764
00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:57.542
You know, the mushrooms.

765
00:35:57.542 --> 00:35:58.917
Oh, no.

766
00:35:58.917 --> 00:36:00.875
Oh, no, no, no, no.
It's going down.

767
00:36:00.875 --> 00:36:04.000
- Yeah.
- Uh, the show is not over.

768
00:36:04.000 --> 00:36:05.667
Rise for your encore.

769
00:36:05.667 --> 00:36:07.750
- Oh, my God, I can't
believe that's working.

770
00:36:07.750 --> 00:36:10.208
Uh, maybe a little louder
and a little closer.

771
00:36:12.292 --> 00:36:15.375
AVERY: <i>All right, buddy, you've got this.</i>
<i>I believe in you.</i>

772
00:36:16.750 --> 00:36:18.917
Are you ready?
- <i>I was born ready.</i>

773
00:36:21.375 --> 00:36:22.583
- Ready.

774
00:36:26.208 --> 00:36:27.375
How's that?

775
00:36:27.375 --> 00:36:30.292
- Oh, actually, a little less pressure.

776
00:36:30.292 --> 00:36:31.583
[monitor beeping]
- Copy.

777
00:36:31.583 --> 00:36:33.583
- Uh... less pressure.

778
00:36:37.292 --> 00:36:38.708
LARSON: <i>Yes.</i>

779
00:36:38.708 --> 00:36:39.958
Oh, yeah.

780
00:36:40.458 --> 00:36:41.792
<i>Oh!</i>

781
00:36:41.792 --> 00:36:42.833
<i>It's working!</i>

782
00:36:44.042 --> 00:36:45.958
- Your pulse is racing.
- <i>Oh, yeah, yeah.</i>

783
00:36:45.958 --> 00:36:47.167
That's normal.

784
00:36:47.167 --> 00:36:50.250
<i>Ah, yeah.</i>

785
00:36:50.250 --> 00:36:52.417
<i>- Hey, is everything okay?</i>

786
00:36:52.417 --> 00:36:54.708
- Everything's great, really great!

787
00:36:54.708 --> 00:36:56.708
Oh! Whoa!

788
00:36:57.250 --> 00:36:58.667
<i>Heads up for...</i>
- Takeoff?

789
00:36:58.667 --> 00:36:59.708
- Yep!

790
00:36:59.708 --> 00:37:01.083
<i>Whoa!</i>

791
00:37:02.125 --> 00:37:04.083
[straining]

792
00:37:04.083 --> 00:37:06.667
<i>Oh! Oh!</i>

793
00:37:06.667 --> 00:37:08.250
Stay on course!

794
00:37:08.250 --> 00:37:09.958
[straining]

795
00:37:09.958 --> 00:37:11.375
It's happening!

796
00:37:11.375 --> 00:37:12.667
<i>Whoa!</i>
- Ahh!

797
00:37:13.375 --> 00:37:17.250
LARSON: <i>Yeahhhhhh...</i>
- [deep, slow voice] Oh, shit!

798
00:37:24.167 --> 00:37:25.458
- Avery?

799
00:37:25.458 --> 00:37:26.917
- Yeah?

800
00:37:26.917 --> 00:37:29.125
- Thanks.

801
00:37:29.125 --> 00:37:30.542
- Hmm. Mm-hmm.

802
00:37:34.333 --> 00:37:36.250
- Do you want me to return the favor?

803
00:37:38.208 --> 00:37:39.667
- Uh...

804
00:37:39.667 --> 00:37:40.708
Yeah.

805
00:37:40.708 --> 00:37:41.792
Okay.

806
00:37:41.792 --> 00:37:43.042
- Okay.

807
00:37:44.250 --> 00:37:45.667
So, what do you like?

808
00:37:48.458 --> 00:37:49.833
- Uh...

809
00:37:49.833 --> 00:37:53.917
You know what, actually, I think we can
call today's experiment a success.

810
00:37:55.208 --> 00:37:57.958
Uh, we've hit a very important part
in the engineering process

811
00:37:57.958 --> 00:37:59.750
in which one assesses the data,

812
00:37:59.750 --> 00:38:02.333
and so I'll go analyze that
and get back to you.

813
00:38:02.333 --> 00:38:04.917
- Wait, wait, where are you going?
I thought I was going to return the favor.

814
00:38:04.917 --> 00:38:07.458
- Why? We achieved foreplay.

815
00:38:07.458 --> 00:38:09.500
- Yeah, for me.

816
00:38:09.500 --> 00:38:12.875
But getting a guy off
isn't rocket science.

817
00:38:12.875 --> 00:38:15.792
It's only a successful mission
if we both enjoy it.

818
00:38:15.792 --> 00:38:17.250
- I had a great time.

819
00:38:17.250 --> 00:38:20.333
- No, I mean, I want to get you off too.

820
00:38:20.333 --> 00:38:23.792
I mean, that's sort of how you know
it went well, if we both do, right?

821
00:38:24.542 --> 00:38:26.458
- That's really sweet.

822
00:38:26.458 --> 00:38:28.000
- Avery!

823
00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:31.000
AVERY:
<i>Larson knew what he liked, but I didn't.</i>

824
00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:33.333
<i>How could I create</i>
<i>an app that provides users</i>

825
00:38:33.333 --> 00:38:37.333
<i>with steps to take to achieve good sex</i>
<i>if I didn't even know what I liked?</i>

826
00:38:37.333 --> 00:38:39.833
<i>A critical gap in my data.</i>

827
00:38:39.833 --> 00:38:42.542
<i>With STEMCON around the corner,</i>
<i>I needed to consult</i>

828
00:38:42.542 --> 00:38:44.542
<i>the ultimate expert in teen sexuality.</i>

829
00:38:44.542 --> 00:38:46.667
[computer chirping]

830
00:38:47.625 --> 00:38:50.292
- So... you've never touched yourself.

831
00:38:51.292 --> 00:38:52.708
What about when you wipe?

832
00:38:52.708 --> 00:38:54.542
- I'm not doing it with my bare hand.

833
00:38:54.542 --> 00:38:56.792
- Dude, are you fucking serious?

834
00:38:59.292 --> 00:39:00.583
Did you measure?

835
00:39:00.583 --> 00:39:02.000
- It wasn't for pleasure.

836
00:39:02.000 --> 00:39:04.250
- Mid force?
- Roughly.

837
00:39:04.250 --> 00:39:06.750
- Okay, good.
Have you ever heard of a dildo?

838
00:39:06.750 --> 00:39:08.583
AVERY:
<i>Have I heard of a dildo?</i>

839
00:39:08.583 --> 00:39:10.000
♪ funky music playing ♪

840
00:39:16.292 --> 00:39:18.083
MAMA SUZE: Avery!

841
00:39:18.667 --> 00:39:21.417
Debra, have you seen my magic wand?

842
00:39:21.417 --> 00:39:24.583
BOTH: More than meets the eye!

843
00:39:25.250 --> 00:39:27.042
- Eye!
MAMA SUZE: God dang it, Avery!

844
00:39:27.958 --> 00:39:31.792
- I have a fundamental bias
against vibrators.

845
00:39:33.083 --> 00:39:36.000
I would just want to be able
to operate my own machinery.

846
00:39:36.000 --> 00:39:38.500
- Every captain should know how
to steer her own ship.

847
00:39:39.083 --> 00:39:40.125
Hot tip.

848
00:39:40.125 --> 00:39:43.917
When testing the waters,
Jacuzzi jets are the way to go.

849
00:39:43.917 --> 00:39:45.333
Just do some exploring.

850
00:39:45.333 --> 00:39:47.250
- I'm like the Voyager.

851
00:39:47.250 --> 00:39:49.542
- You can't work in a vacuum.

852
00:39:49.958 --> 00:39:53.333
This is gonna require
physical and mental stimulation.

853
00:39:54.542 --> 00:39:57.833
- It's like how Wonder Woman
was given all this training,

854
00:39:57.833 --> 00:40:00.708
but it wasn't until she was able
to channel her mental power

855
00:40:00.708 --> 00:40:03.583
into her physical abilities that she
was able to defeat her opponents.

856
00:40:03.583 --> 00:40:05.958
- Uh... yeah, sure.

857
00:40:05.958 --> 00:40:07.792
I'm just saying like...

858
00:40:07.792 --> 00:40:10.375
try to picture your object of desire.

859
00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:12.375
- Right.

860
00:40:12.375 --> 00:40:14.083
DANICA: Could I offer a suggestion?

861
00:40:14.917 --> 00:40:16.042
Coconut oil.

862
00:40:16.625 --> 00:40:18.333
- Mama Suze cooks with that.

863
00:40:18.333 --> 00:40:21.750
- It's all natural, moisturizing,
a delightful lubricant.

864
00:40:21.750 --> 00:40:22.792
Avery...

865
00:40:23.792 --> 00:40:25.708
go home and do some finger painting.

866
00:40:36.250 --> 00:40:37.417
- Okay.

867
00:40:39.917 --> 00:40:41.250
[sighing]

868
00:40:41.250 --> 00:40:43.625
♪ ringtone playing ♪
Oh, no, no.

869
00:40:44.250 --> 00:40:45.833
- <i>Well, hello.</i>
- Shit.

870
00:40:45.833 --> 00:40:48.000
- <i>Con's coming up, I can't wait.</i>
<i>-</i> Hey.

871
00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:50.583
<i>- Your response time suggests that</i>
<i>your fingers are equally excited</i>

872
00:40:50.583 --> 00:40:52.625
<i>to explore our respective functionality.</i>

873
00:40:52.625 --> 00:40:54.542
<i>What presentation group</i>
<i>were you assigned to?</i>

874
00:40:54.542 --> 00:40:57.542
- Uh, day two, morning group.

875
00:40:57.542 --> 00:40:59.208
<i>- Ooh, strong open.</i>

876
00:40:59.208 --> 00:41:01.083
<i>I'm day one, late show.</i>

877
00:41:01.708 --> 00:41:03.208
<i>Want a preview?</i>

878
00:41:03.208 --> 00:41:06.625
- Oh, wouldn't you rather
just relish in anticipation?

879
00:41:06.625 --> 00:41:09.625
<i>- Genius. Can't wait to see</i>
<i>yours in two weeks.</i>

880
00:41:09.625 --> 00:41:10.792
- Mm, yep, me too.

881
00:41:12.167 --> 00:41:14.000
♪ energetic music playing ♪

882
00:41:20.083 --> 00:41:21.542
Ooh!

883
00:41:21.542 --> 00:41:24.542
[sighing]

884
00:41:24.542 --> 00:41:26.292
Uncharted waters.

885
00:41:30.292 --> 00:41:33.875
♪ pop orchestra playing '50s ballad ♪

886
00:41:33.875 --> 00:41:35.875
♪

887
00:41:42.208 --> 00:41:43.917
- Why, hello there, Avery.

888
00:41:44.750 --> 00:41:48.833
I just finished my research paper
on toxic algae bloom,

889
00:41:48.833 --> 00:41:51.333
and it's getting awfully hot in here.

890
00:41:52.292 --> 00:41:53.750
- Ooh!

891
00:41:53.750 --> 00:41:56.125
<i>♪ Avery, baby ♪</i>

892
00:41:56.125 --> 00:41:59.750
<i>♪ You're driving me crazy ♪</i>

893
00:41:59.750 --> 00:42:02.833
<i>♪ My soul innovator ♪</i>

894
00:42:02.833 --> 00:42:06.125
<i>♪ Our love calculator ♪</i>

895
00:42:06.125 --> 00:42:09.167
<i>♪ Says you plus me ♪</i>

896
00:42:09.167 --> 00:42:13.708
<i>♪ Equals mad sexy ♪</i>

897
00:42:13.708 --> 00:42:15.167
[straining]

898
00:42:15.792 --> 00:42:17.708
<i>♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪</i>

899
00:42:17.708 --> 00:42:19.833
[toilet flushes]

900
00:42:19.833 --> 00:42:20.958
[pipes whining]

901
00:42:20.958 --> 00:42:23.875
- Oh! It burns!
Oh, it burns, burns, burns!

902
00:42:23.875 --> 00:42:25.875
Flush warning next time!

903
00:42:25.875 --> 00:42:27.333
MAMA SUZE: Sorry.

904
00:42:29.292 --> 00:42:32.417
[gasping]
[phone buzzing]

905
00:42:32.417 --> 00:42:33.875
[clears throat]

906
00:42:34.500 --> 00:42:37.667
- 'Sup?
- <i>Nothing. I'm behind on my presentation.</i>

907
00:42:37.667 --> 00:42:40.167
STEMCON's around the corner,
and I still haven't figured out

908
00:42:40.167 --> 00:42:42.667
the algorithm to provide
a successful outcome.

909
00:42:42.667 --> 00:42:44.792
- Yeah, thought that was
why you were coming over,

910
00:42:44.792 --> 00:42:46.667
so you could get all that data?

911
00:42:46.667 --> 00:42:49.542
- Yeah, well, I'm blocked, so it's moot.

912
00:42:49.542 --> 00:42:52.167
<i>- Hey, what happened to all that</i>
<i>symbiosis we had going on?</i>

913
00:42:52.167 --> 00:42:55.750
Open up that croc trap of yours
and let me peck around.

914
00:42:55.750 --> 00:42:57.667
- So you admit you're the plover.

915
00:42:57.667 --> 00:42:58.833
- If it's working.

916
00:43:00.042 --> 00:43:01.958
- Hmm. Nothing's working.

917
00:43:02.958 --> 00:43:04.875
- Maybe you're too in your head.

918
00:43:04.875 --> 00:43:06.375
- Where else would I be?

919
00:43:06.375 --> 00:43:08.833
- No, I mean, maybe
you're thinking too much

920
00:43:08.833 --> 00:43:10.875
about something that should
happen more naturally.

921
00:43:10.875 --> 00:43:14.833
- I don't know, I mean, maybe...
talk me through what you do?

922
00:43:14.833 --> 00:43:16.042
<i>How do you get there?</i>

923
00:43:16.042 --> 00:43:18.125
- Are you suggesting we have phone sex?

924
00:43:18.125 --> 00:43:19.417
- Am I?

925
00:43:20.417 --> 00:43:21.792
Should we?

926
00:43:22.792 --> 00:43:23.875
Do you know how?

927
00:43:24.667 --> 00:43:28.375
- Maybe. I... I think I'm supposed to say
a bunch of stuff to turn you on.

928
00:43:28.375 --> 00:43:29.583
- Okay.

929
00:43:31.792 --> 00:43:33.250
Go!
- Uh...

930
00:43:33.250 --> 00:43:34.708
Jeez, uh...

931
00:43:34.708 --> 00:43:37.167
Uh, how's, uh...

932
00:43:37.167 --> 00:43:40.667
[speaking Vulcan language]

933
00:43:40.667 --> 00:43:42.167
- Wait, Vulcan?

934
00:43:42.167 --> 00:43:44.458
Larson, no way.

935
00:43:44.458 --> 00:43:45.542
[laughs]

936
00:43:45.542 --> 00:43:47.042
Very impressed.

937
00:43:47.042 --> 00:43:47.958
- Yeah.

938
00:43:47.958 --> 00:43:50.792
Th-There was an online tutorial.
<i>- Yeah, it's impressive.</i>

939
00:43:51.667 --> 00:43:53.875
But, uh... ineffective.

940
00:43:53.875 --> 00:43:55.583
- Are you judging yourself?

941
00:43:55.583 --> 00:43:57.625
- Oh, right.

942
00:43:57.625 --> 00:43:58.875
Okay, hang on.

943
00:44:00.958 --> 00:44:02.083
- Ah.

944
00:44:03.292 --> 00:44:04.708
- Okay, continue.

945
00:44:04.708 --> 00:44:07.292
[speaking Vulcan]

946
00:44:08.167 --> 00:44:09.542
...sexy.

947
00:44:09.542 --> 00:44:11.833
- Nothin'.

948
00:44:11.833 --> 00:44:13.583
God, what am I doing wrong?

949
00:44:13.583 --> 00:44:15.458
- No, maybe it's my Vulcan.

950
00:44:15.458 --> 00:44:17.667
I should just recite the periodic table.

951
00:44:17.667 --> 00:44:19.167
- Ha, ha.

952
00:44:19.167 --> 00:44:20.833
- Or name an element after you.

953
00:44:23.625 --> 00:44:25.750
- Wait...
Say that again?

954
00:44:25.750 --> 00:44:29.250
- There should be an element
on the periodic table named after you?

955
00:44:30.542 --> 00:44:33.500
Uh, a never-before-seen metal.

956
00:44:33.500 --> 00:44:34.958
Avery Namium.

957
00:44:36.458 --> 00:44:38.792
- Well, there... there was a tingle.

958
00:44:39.458 --> 00:44:42.250
Keep going.
- Th-This new element...

959
00:44:42.250 --> 00:44:45.042
uh, you found it on your voyage to Mars.

960
00:44:45.042 --> 00:44:48.167
- I went to Mars?
- After you graduated from MIT.

961
00:44:50.125 --> 00:44:51.417
- Summa cum laude?

962
00:44:51.417 --> 00:44:53.792
- Oh, yeah, and you got this grant.

963
00:44:53.792 --> 00:44:55.458
- I got a research grant? Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.

964
00:44:55.458 --> 00:44:59.708
So they sent you to Mars, and because
of this whole new element thing,

965
00:44:59.708 --> 00:45:02.292
the capital of Mars is now Averyopolis.

966
00:45:02.292 --> 00:45:04.833
- Yeah?
- Yeah. A thriving new colony.

967
00:45:04.833 --> 00:45:07.417
And you're their leader,
and it's a super chill place

968
00:45:07.417 --> 00:45:11.292
so no surprise, you were awarded
a Nobel Peace Prize.

969
00:45:11.292 --> 00:45:12.833
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah.

970
00:45:12.833 --> 00:45:15.583
- Oh, my God, oh, yeah.
Yeah, this is working.

971
00:45:15.583 --> 00:45:17.792
- Are you there?
- Oh, almost there.

972
00:45:17.792 --> 00:45:19.958
- Y-You'll win STEMCON, STEM awards.

973
00:45:19.958 --> 00:45:21.208
[sighs]

974
00:45:21.208 --> 00:45:22.625
[gasps] Oh, fuck!

975
00:45:22.625 --> 00:45:24.167
Oh, God, oh, no.

976
00:45:24.167 --> 00:45:27.333
Okay, I'm losing it, I'm losing it.
<i>- Avery? You there?</i>

977
00:45:27.333 --> 00:45:28.708
- Yeah.

978
00:45:28.708 --> 00:45:30.917
Yeah, no, it's, that's gone.

979
00:45:30.917 --> 00:45:31.833
Mm.

980
00:45:34.625 --> 00:45:35.708
[sighs]

981
00:45:36.250 --> 00:45:38.083
<i>STEM night was a week away</i>

982
00:45:38.083 --> 00:45:41.583
<i>and I had yet to crack the code</i>
<i>for my night with Casper, or my app.</i>

983
00:45:42.667 --> 00:45:46.167
All right, people.
Insights on female pleasure. Go.

984
00:45:46.167 --> 00:45:49.500
- I just want to point out that if I ever
said anything like that to you,

985
00:45:49.500 --> 00:45:51.167
I'd be so canceled.

986
00:45:51.167 --> 00:45:54.292
- Okay, clearly, since I'm the only one
here who's actually been with a girl,

987
00:45:54.292 --> 00:45:55.750
I'll take this one.

988
00:45:55.750 --> 00:45:59.292
Tell your partner to enjoy you
like an ice cream cone that's melting.

989
00:45:59.292 --> 00:46:01.750
Catch every last drop.

990
00:46:01.750 --> 00:46:03.042
- Maybe he doesn't do dairy.

991
00:46:03.042 --> 00:46:05.250
- Hmm. Okay, does he like
to do the crossword?

992
00:46:05.250 --> 00:46:07.250
- Be surprised if he didn't,
everyone does.

993
00:46:07.250 --> 00:46:10.167
- Have him fill out the boxes
with a pointy tongue going across

994
00:46:10.167 --> 00:46:11.417
and a flat one going down.

995
00:46:11.417 --> 00:46:13.667
- Ah, la-la-la-la-la-la!
- Oh, my God, Troy!

996
00:46:13.667 --> 00:46:16.167
I'm like destroying this equation
up here and you're missing it.

997
00:46:16.167 --> 00:46:17.708
Just be less, 'kay?

998
00:46:17.708 --> 00:46:19.917
Okay, we're going to put that
over a negative three...

999
00:46:19.917 --> 00:46:22.167
- All right. Other techniques?

1000
00:46:22.167 --> 00:46:23.458
- Tactics?

1001
00:46:24.750 --> 00:46:25.792
Frank?

1002
00:46:26.833 --> 00:46:29.958
- There's a common misconception
that most women climax
from penetrative sex,

1003
00:46:29.958 --> 00:46:31.958
but statistics show
that 75% of women

1004
00:46:31.958 --> 00:46:33.958
can't achieve orgasm
from penetration alone.

1005
00:46:33.958 --> 00:46:37.125
Stimulating the clitoris
and other erogenous zones is key.

1006
00:46:37.125 --> 00:46:38.208
- Damn.

1007
00:46:38.208 --> 00:46:40.333
- And how does one locate said e-zones?

1008
00:46:40.333 --> 00:46:43.792
- My cousin said that it's best to think
of your body like a game of Twister

1009
00:46:43.792 --> 00:46:45.708
and eventually you'll find the spot.

1010
00:46:45.708 --> 00:46:49.292
- Avery, look at me.
Your body is a Costco, okay?

1011
00:46:49.292 --> 00:46:51.083
You're trying
all these different samples, right?

1012
00:46:51.083 --> 00:46:54.292
You're trying all these different samples.
Oop! Uh-oh. You found the one.

1013
00:46:54.292 --> 00:46:56.750
- Okay, but where
are the sample booths located?

1014
00:46:56.750 --> 00:46:58.833
- Avery, I cannot tell you everything.
Jesus.

1015
00:46:58.833 --> 00:47:01.583
- If I may, the G depends
largely on the individual,

1016
00:47:01.583 --> 00:47:03.500
but there are a certain number
of other erogenous zones

1017
00:47:03.500 --> 00:47:05.792
that occur across genders
and sexual preferences,

1018
00:47:05.792 --> 00:47:09.208
including toes, neck, ear, butt,
behind the knees, elbows.

1019
00:47:09.208 --> 00:47:10.542
The partner-pleasure approaches.

1020
00:47:10.542 --> 00:47:13.167
The rock-and-roll, the surf's up,
the double-action revolver,

1021
00:47:13.167 --> 00:47:15.583
the Spock, the reverse Spock,
the devil's advocate.

1022
00:47:15.583 --> 00:47:17.750
I'll email you a list later.
- Damn!

1023
00:47:17.750 --> 00:47:19.458
- Oh, no, no.

1024
00:47:19.458 --> 00:47:21.875
- Why does pleasing women
gotta be so complicated?

1025
00:47:21.875 --> 00:47:22.875
- I can orgasm.

1026
00:47:24.417 --> 00:47:26.167
Right here, right now.

1027
00:47:29.542 --> 00:47:31.792
- If I did that, I'd be suspended.

1028
00:47:31.792 --> 00:47:33.125
I would be suspended!

1029
00:47:33.125 --> 00:47:36.625
- Oh, my God, Troy, you so will be.
Okay, just take it down or take it out.

1030
00:47:36.625 --> 00:47:38.375
- Uh, Ms. Russell?
- Yeah, baby.

1031
00:47:38.375 --> 00:47:39.875
- Hi, mama. Uh...

1032
00:47:39.875 --> 00:47:41.625
Let's say Avery needs to solve for C.

1033
00:47:41.625 --> 00:47:43.792
- Ooh, participation! Yes!
[snaps fingers]

1034
00:47:43.792 --> 00:47:45.500
- But doesn't Avery also need
to solve for G?

1035
00:47:45.500 --> 00:47:47.083
Isn't G the super proof?

1036
00:47:47.083 --> 00:47:48.750
- But to solve for C and G,

1037
00:47:48.750 --> 00:47:50.875
should she maybe also solve for A too?

1038
00:47:50.875 --> 00:47:52.083
- Ooh!
- Whoa, whoa!

1039
00:47:52.083 --> 00:47:54.333
- Excuse me, some of us
like to solve for A.

1040
00:47:54.333 --> 00:47:56.708
- Oh, for sure, A is great, guys.

1041
00:47:56.708 --> 00:47:58.875
- I love you, Ms. Russell.
Everyone loves a pinkie.

1042
00:47:59.958 --> 00:48:02.417
Everybody.
- What about B squared?

1043
00:48:02.417 --> 00:48:04.250
- Oh, my God, loves B squared,

1044
00:48:04.250 --> 00:48:06.417
but we save that for our boy quadratic

1045
00:48:06.417 --> 00:48:09.000
when B squared is on top of 2A.

1046
00:48:09.000 --> 00:48:10.542
- Yeah, she is!

1047
00:48:10.542 --> 00:48:12.917
- You know, I do really love
the triangle angle sum theorem,

1048
00:48:12.917 --> 00:48:15.333
because we get
the all-powerful isosceles.

1049
00:48:15.333 --> 00:48:16.875
- Mm, preach!

1050
00:48:18.125 --> 00:48:19.500
- Ooh!
MS. RUSSELL: Avery.

1051
00:48:20.083 --> 00:48:23.542
- Let's say movement occurs
at the intersection of the angles.

1052
00:48:24.333 --> 00:48:26.125
How would we solve for G?

1053
00:48:26.125 --> 00:48:28.375
- We're talking magnitude, huh? Okay.

1054
00:48:28.958 --> 00:48:32.917
We're going to need a vector that
starts at D and goes deep into G.

1055
00:48:32.917 --> 00:48:33.833
- Yeah, we do.

1056
00:48:33.833 --> 00:48:36.083
- Now, it doesn't matter how big
this vector is or how long,

1057
00:48:36.083 --> 00:48:37.375
what matters is the angle, okay?

1058
00:48:37.375 --> 00:48:38.500
MARLA: The angle!

1059
00:48:38.500 --> 00:48:41.375
- Marla? You good there, boo?
STUDENT: She's really doing it.

1060
00:48:41.375 --> 00:48:43.583
MARLA: Yes, yes...

1061
00:48:43.583 --> 00:48:45.167
Yes!

1062
00:48:45.167 --> 00:48:46.708
Yes!

1063
00:48:46.708 --> 00:48:48.208
Yes!

1064
00:48:48.208 --> 00:48:51.042
- [device beeps]
SPOCK: <i>You have sufficient data</i>
<i>to achieve orgasm.</i>

1065
00:48:51.042 --> 00:48:52.875
- [gasps] Yes!

1066
00:48:53.917 --> 00:48:56.375
- They grow up so fast.
- I know. Go get 'em, girl.

1067
00:48:56.375 --> 00:48:59.083
MS. RUSSELL: ...take the test next week.
- [bell ringing]

1068
00:49:00.250 --> 00:49:01.542
- Ooh!

1069
00:49:01.542 --> 00:49:05.333
- Oh, shit, sorry. Sorry about that.
- Oh, you're all good.

1070
00:49:05.333 --> 00:49:07.667
These, uh, blank corners
will get you every time.

1071
00:49:07.667 --> 00:49:09.917
- What? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1072
00:49:09.917 --> 00:49:12.625
- Um, you play the trombone, right?

1073
00:49:12.625 --> 00:49:14.875
We have band together?
- Uh-huh.

1074
00:49:14.875 --> 00:49:16.958
- I thought so. Um... I'm...
- Hey!

1075
00:49:16.958 --> 00:49:17.875
Larson.

1076
00:49:17.875 --> 00:49:20.250
Uh, we have that, um...

1077
00:49:20.250 --> 00:49:21.208
paper?

1078
00:49:23.083 --> 00:49:24.958
- Yeah, um, sorry.

1079
00:49:24.958 --> 00:49:27.417
Uh, I'll see you in band. There you go.

1080
00:49:27.417 --> 00:49:29.333
- Okay, thank you.
- Yeah, bye.

1081
00:49:29.833 --> 00:49:31.792
- Hey, I--
- No.

1082
00:49:33.750 --> 00:49:35.875
- I can't believe I didn't figure it out,
you know.

1083
00:49:35.875 --> 00:49:38.250
It's the chemistry plus the geometry.

1084
00:49:38.250 --> 00:49:40.292
You solve for G,
you trigger a dopamine receptor

1085
00:49:40.292 --> 00:49:42.333
so then the dopamine floods your body
in chemical ecstasy.

1086
00:49:42.333 --> 00:49:45.375
Marla can do it. She did it in class.
You should have seen it.

1087
00:49:45.375 --> 00:49:46.917
But I'm not that skilled.

1088
00:49:46.917 --> 00:49:49.208
- That's okay, I think I get
what you're saying.

1089
00:49:49.208 --> 00:49:52.500
But you know how it's always more
satisfying if someone else rubs your feet?

1090
00:49:52.500 --> 00:49:53.917
- Okay, great.

1091
00:49:54.875 --> 00:49:56.375
Rub my proverbial feet.

1092
00:50:01.333 --> 00:50:02.625
- Here we go.

1093
00:50:03.083 --> 00:50:04.417
- Godspeed.

1094
00:50:06.375 --> 00:50:10.208
<i>♪ Like yeah, we so amazin'</i>
<i>yeah, we do it like that ♪</i>

1095
00:50:10.208 --> 00:50:13.083
- Am I in the right place?
- Yep. Keep going.

1096
00:50:16.083 --> 00:50:18.958
- Oh, my God! [voice echoing]

1097
00:50:18.958 --> 00:50:22.000
<i>♪ Like yeah, yeah, we the greatest... ♪</i>

1098
00:50:22.792 --> 00:50:23.917
- This good?

1099
00:50:23.917 --> 00:50:26.125
Do you feel that?
- Oh, this is great.

1100
00:50:26.125 --> 00:50:27.542
- That's nice.

1101
00:50:27.542 --> 00:50:28.833
- Go a little to the left.

1102
00:50:28.833 --> 00:50:29.792
- My left?
- My left.

1103
00:50:30.708 --> 00:50:32.583
Oh, no, sorry, sorry.
Your left. [laughs]

1104
00:50:32.583 --> 00:50:34.333
- Oh, wait.

1105
00:50:34.333 --> 00:50:36.458
[sighs] I'm learning a lot of things.

1106
00:50:36.458 --> 00:50:37.875
Like this? Like that?

1107
00:50:37.875 --> 00:50:39.208
AVERY: Faster, yeah.

1108
00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:43.250
[both laughing]
Yeah... yeah!

1109
00:50:44.875 --> 00:50:46.625
What... What was that?

1110
00:50:46.625 --> 00:50:48.292
- This spot's speaking to me,
is it speaking to you?

1111
00:50:48.292 --> 00:50:50.708
- Yeah, no, move.
- Whoa!

1112
00:50:50.708 --> 00:50:53.208
- Wait a minute, where are you going?
- It's a lot to take in, you know?

1113
00:50:53.208 --> 00:50:54.375
Wow... [voice echoing] Wow!

1114
00:50:54.375 --> 00:50:56.292
Am I close?
- Oh, you sure are.

1115
00:50:57.000 --> 00:50:59.250
- Whoa! Think I found it.

1116
00:51:00.708 --> 00:51:01.750
You like that?

1117
00:51:01.750 --> 00:51:03.500
- Oh, I like what you're doing down there.

1118
00:51:03.500 --> 00:51:04.917
- Yeah?

1119
00:51:05.917 --> 00:51:07.833
Should I keep going?
- Don't stop.

1120
00:51:07.833 --> 00:51:09.583
- This feel good? Trying to get in.

1121
00:51:10.458 --> 00:51:12.083
- Go faster.
[door rattling]

1122
00:51:12.083 --> 00:51:14.000
- Oh, yeah, looks like
we're getting close.

1123
00:51:14.000 --> 00:51:16.958
Something's happening.
Oh, something's definitely happening.

1124
00:51:16.958 --> 00:51:18.792
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1125
00:51:18.792 --> 00:51:21.125
- Should I?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, go, go, go.

1126
00:51:24.583 --> 00:51:25.792
Oh!

1127
00:51:25.792 --> 00:51:28.208
♪ epic orchestral music playing ♪

1128
00:51:40.958 --> 00:51:44.208
Ooh! [laughing]

1129
00:51:44.208 --> 00:51:46.625
[sighing]

1130
00:51:52.708 --> 00:51:54.042
Wow!

1131
00:51:56.125 --> 00:51:57.333
[giggles]

1132
00:52:00.583 --> 00:52:01.958
- How was that?

1133
00:52:02.583 --> 00:52:03.833
- Wow! [laughs]

1134
00:52:11.833 --> 00:52:13.458
Sex Appeal.

1135
00:52:13.458 --> 00:52:14.750
- Hmm?

1136
00:52:15.375 --> 00:52:17.042
- That's what I'm gonna name my app.

1137
00:52:18.458 --> 00:52:20.000
- Oh. Great.

1138
00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:23.042
Yeah, yeah, just sometimes you have
to take your head off of something.

1139
00:52:23.042 --> 00:52:24.750
- Yeah, or keep it down.

1140
00:52:24.750 --> 00:52:26.250
[laughing]

1141
00:52:26.250 --> 00:52:30.000
<i>One in three women have trouble</i>
<i>reaching orgasm while having sex.</i>

1142
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:34.000
<i>29% of women ages 16 to 17</i>
<i>are actually having sex,</i>

1143
00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:35.917
<i>which meant that</i>
<i>without even having sex,</i>

1144
00:52:35.917 --> 00:52:37.167
<i>I was already in the top third</i>

1145
00:52:37.167 --> 00:52:39.083
<i>of the third who reached</i>
<i>sexual achievement.</i>

1146
00:52:39.083 --> 00:52:40.500
<i>My first orgasm.</i>

1147
00:52:40.500 --> 00:52:42.333
<i>I'd finally become a woman.</i>

1148
00:52:43.917 --> 00:52:45.292
- You good?

1149
00:52:45.292 --> 00:52:47.042
- Yeah, real good.

1150
00:52:47.667 --> 00:52:48.792
Thanks, buddy.

1151
00:52:50.917 --> 00:52:52.167
- You bet.

1152
00:52:54.000 --> 00:52:55.167
Buddy.

1153
00:52:57.833 --> 00:52:59.167
- Larson?

1154
00:52:59.167 --> 00:53:00.292
- Yeah.

1155
00:53:00.292 --> 00:53:03.417
- So, when you have sex,
is it like this, just more involved?

1156
00:53:04.375 --> 00:53:06.417
- I haven't had sex.

1157
00:53:06.417 --> 00:53:07.708
- But you've had girlfriends.

1158
00:53:08.958 --> 00:53:10.667
Girls like you.

1159
00:53:10.667 --> 00:53:12.375
- But that doesn't mean I've had sex.

1160
00:53:12.375 --> 00:53:15.208
I... I'm waiting for the right person.

1161
00:53:15.208 --> 00:53:18.208
- But then how do you...
I mean, how do you know so much?

1162
00:53:19.375 --> 00:53:20.542
- I don't.

1163
00:53:23.542 --> 00:53:24.917
With you...

1164
00:53:26.333 --> 00:53:28.667
everything just feels right, I guess.

1165
00:53:46.625 --> 00:53:48.500
- Hmm! Whoa, whoa!

1166
00:53:48.500 --> 00:53:50.000
Ah, back it up.

1167
00:53:50.000 --> 00:53:51.958
- What?
- Uh, we're not doing that.

1168
00:53:51.958 --> 00:53:54.042
- I thought you wanted
to give everything a test run.

1169
00:53:54.042 --> 00:53:55.458
- Not that.

1170
00:53:55.458 --> 00:53:56.875
- Okay.

1171
00:53:56.875 --> 00:53:59.917
Okay, s-sorry, I just... I thought that...

1172
00:53:59.917 --> 00:54:02.833
- Well, then you weren't
thinking with your brain, Larson.

1173
00:54:02.833 --> 00:54:06.292
Well, you just launched a harpoon
without tying the rope off.

1174
00:54:06.292 --> 00:54:07.167
- I'll tie it off.

1175
00:54:07.167 --> 00:54:10.208
I have several ropes: ribbed ropes,
organic ropes, prelubed ropes...

1176
00:54:10.208 --> 00:54:12.292
- Okay, reel it in, Skipper.

1177
00:54:13.083 --> 00:54:15.500
- But... you want to?

1178
00:54:17.250 --> 00:54:18.375
Gilligan?

1179
00:54:19.667 --> 00:54:22.875
- Okay, first of all,
I am clearly Professor Roy Hinkley...

1180
00:54:23.667 --> 00:54:26.083
and that was never part of the plan.

1181
00:54:26.708 --> 00:54:28.833
Our dynamic needs to remain
strictly professional

1182
00:54:28.833 --> 00:54:30.667
for the sake of the experiment.

1183
00:54:35.250 --> 00:54:36.375
[Larson sighs]

1184
00:54:44.583 --> 00:54:46.750
- You know, my hypothesis...

1185
00:54:46.750 --> 00:54:48.875
- Which was null and void.
- By you.

1186
00:54:50.292 --> 00:54:52.875
But I think...

1187
00:54:53.792 --> 00:54:55.208
love leads to sex

1188
00:54:55.208 --> 00:54:58.167
and sex leads to love
and that's how you get chemistry.

1189
00:54:59.417 --> 00:55:00.625
It's intertwined.

1190
00:55:03.083 --> 00:55:04.292
- Wait, hold on.

1191
00:55:04.292 --> 00:55:06.167
Let me explain the chemistry to you.

1192
00:55:06.167 --> 00:55:08.417
So, even prolonged eye contact

1193
00:55:08.417 --> 00:55:10.542
sends signals to your brain
to release dopamine--

1194
00:55:10.542 --> 00:55:11.625
- Forget the chemicals.

1195
00:55:12.750 --> 00:55:16.042
I'm saying love and sex are interwoven.

1196
00:55:18.125 --> 00:55:21.917
AVERY: <i>No, love has nothing to do</i>
<i>with good sexual experiences.</i>

1197
00:55:21.917 --> 00:55:23.708
<i>I mean, we had just proven that.</i>

1198
00:55:23.708 --> 00:55:25.708
<i>The experiment was a success.</i>

1199
00:55:25.708 --> 00:55:27.625
<i>I finally had all the data I needed.</i>

1200
00:55:27.625 --> 00:55:30.708
<i>Now I only had a week to put it</i>
<i>all together and complete the app.</i>

1201
00:55:30.708 --> 00:55:32.583
NIKKI: <i>Think of your body</i>
<i>like a game of Twister.</i>

1202
00:55:32.583 --> 00:55:33.708
STUDENT: <i>Oop! You found the one.</i>

1203
00:55:33.708 --> 00:55:35.167
BIANCA: <i>Gotta have a strong hold</i>
<i>on the base.</i>

1204
00:55:35.167 --> 00:55:36.208
STUDENT: <i>It's all about the tip.</i>

1205
00:55:36.208 --> 00:55:38.750
LARSON: <i>It's only a successful mission</i>
<i>if we both enjoy it.</i>

1206
00:55:38.750 --> 00:55:40.958
FRANK: <i>Stimulating the clitoris is key.</i>
DANICA: <i>Do some finger painting.</i>

1207
00:55:40.958 --> 00:55:43.250
FRANK: <i>Partner-pleasure approaches,</i>
<i>the rock-and roll...</i>
MARLA: <i>Yes!</i>

1208
00:55:43.250 --> 00:55:44.875
FRANK: <i>...the surf's up,</i>
<i>the double-action revolver.</i>

1209
00:55:44.875 --> 00:55:46.292
MS. RUSSELL: <i>It starts at D...</i>
MARLA: <i>Yes!</i>

1210
00:55:46.292 --> 00:55:47.250
MS. RUSSELL:
<i>...and goes deep into G.</i>

1211
00:55:47.250 --> 00:55:49.000
- <i>Voilà!</i>
MARLA: <i>Yes!</i>

1212
00:55:50.708 --> 00:55:52.208
<i>Yesss!</i>

1213
00:55:53.167 --> 00:55:55.000
SPOCK: <i>Update complete.</i>

1214
00:55:55.000 --> 00:55:56.625
<i>How may I assist you?</i>

1215
00:55:56.625 --> 00:56:00.042
AVERY:
Spock, how does one have good sex?

1216
00:56:00.042 --> 00:56:03.625
SPOCK: <i>Based on current data,</i>
<i>good sex is achieved by:</i>

1217
00:56:03.625 --> 00:56:07.875
<i>one, self-exploration to discover</i>
<i>personalized pleasure;</i>

1218
00:56:07.875 --> 00:56:11.292
<i>two, communicate likes</i>
<i>and dislikes to partner;</i>

1219
00:56:11.292 --> 00:56:13.750
<i>three, give and receive consent;</i>

1220
00:56:13.750 --> 00:56:16.042
<i>four, engage in foreplay,</i>

1221
00:56:16.042 --> 00:56:18.917
<i>including ears, neck, back, buttocks,</i>

1222
00:56:18.917 --> 00:56:20.875
<i>nipples, clitoris...</i>

1223
00:56:22.083 --> 00:56:23.917
[doorbell rings]

1224
00:56:27.667 --> 00:56:29.167
[door opens]

1225
00:56:29.167 --> 00:56:30.667
LARSON: Hey.
- Hey.

1226
00:56:34.167 --> 00:56:35.500
Uh... Uh...

1227
00:56:35.500 --> 00:56:36.500
- Oop.
- Yeah.

1228
00:56:36.500 --> 00:56:39.500
I saw that there was an exhibit
at the science museum

1229
00:56:39.500 --> 00:56:41.333
on bioluminescence.

1230
00:56:41.333 --> 00:56:44.083
It's only here for another week,
so you wanna go tonight?

1231
00:56:44.083 --> 00:56:46.292
- Oh, I caught that opening weekend.

1232
00:56:47.167 --> 00:56:49.208
Besides, I have STEMCON tomorrow.

1233
00:56:49.208 --> 00:56:51.500
- Right, yeah, that's why,
you know, I thought

1234
00:56:51.500 --> 00:56:54.125
maybe we could do something fun
before you go.

1235
00:56:54.125 --> 00:56:57.125
- Well, it's the night before the big day.

1236
00:56:57.125 --> 00:56:59.625
I need all my energy focused
on mental preparation,

1237
00:56:59.625 --> 00:57:02.667
but I appreciate your assistance
and support,

1238
00:57:02.667 --> 00:57:05.750
and, um, I'll see you when
I get back with all the details.

1239
00:57:08.667 --> 00:57:10.750
- Avery, every, everything that we did...

1240
00:57:13.125 --> 00:57:14.667
how did it make you feel?

1241
00:57:14.667 --> 00:57:16.208
- Um...

1242
00:57:16.208 --> 00:57:18.208
amazing. [laughs]

1243
00:57:18.208 --> 00:57:20.833
Think there was concrete evidence of that.

1244
00:57:22.292 --> 00:57:23.917
- Anything change for you?

1245
00:57:24.792 --> 00:57:28.083
- I'm in the top third
of the third percentile now?

1246
00:57:28.083 --> 00:57:30.542
- Did anything else change for you?

1247
00:57:30.542 --> 00:57:32.833
- Come on, I gotta get back to my prep.

1248
00:57:32.833 --> 00:57:35.667
- So that's it, if we're not doing
your experiment, we can't hang?

1249
00:57:35.667 --> 00:57:39.292
- Larson, this is my prom, remember?

1250
00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:43.500
I mean, like any teen girl,
it's rightfully consuming my thoughts.

1251
00:57:43.500 --> 00:57:46.000
- I get it, I get it.
Um...

1252
00:57:47.333 --> 00:57:48.833
Have a nice prom.

1253
00:57:48.833 --> 00:57:52.792
I got two tickets to the exhibit, so...

1254
00:57:53.583 --> 00:57:55.375
I'll just go twice.

1255
00:57:55.917 --> 00:57:57.167
Double matinee.

1256
00:57:57.167 --> 00:57:59.833
I'm gonna learn a shit ton
about biolumes.

1257
00:58:01.625 --> 00:58:02.917
I guess.

1258
00:58:02.917 --> 00:58:04.333
[softly] Ah, fuck.

1259
00:58:04.333 --> 00:58:06.208
- Hey, Larson.
- Have a good trip.

1260
00:58:11.125 --> 00:58:12.458
- Okay.

1261
00:58:12.458 --> 00:58:14.667
SPOCK:
<i>Please upload your app logo.</i>

1262
00:58:15.625 --> 00:58:19.500
<i>Congratulations,</i>
<i>your Sex Appeal app is complete.</i>

1263
00:58:19.500 --> 00:58:21.292
[phone buzzing]

1264
00:58:23.750 --> 00:58:25.083
- There's my girl.

1265
00:58:25.083 --> 00:58:27.875
[Avery humming]

1266
00:58:27.875 --> 00:58:29.375
Are you humming?

1267
00:58:30.208 --> 00:58:31.708
- Ah, yep.

1268
00:58:32.583 --> 00:58:33.750
Mm!

1269
00:58:33.750 --> 00:58:36.208
Whoa, these pancakes are delightful.

1270
00:58:36.208 --> 00:58:38.208
- Well, I used ghee.

1271
00:58:38.208 --> 00:58:40.750
I cannot find our coconut oil.

1272
00:58:40.750 --> 00:58:43.083
[Avery clears throat]
[Mama Suze sighs]

1273
00:58:43.083 --> 00:58:44.292
AVERY: Weird.

1274
00:58:45.042 --> 00:58:47.375
<i>STEMCON was finally here,</i>

1275
00:58:47.375 --> 00:58:49.667
<i>my chance to cement my name</i>
<i>in STEM history</i>

1276
00:58:49.667 --> 00:58:51.917
<i>and kick off my scientific career.</i>

1277
00:58:51.917 --> 00:58:54.375
[cheering]
- So beautiful!

1278
00:58:54.375 --> 00:58:56.417
[all talking at once]

1279
00:59:00.167 --> 00:59:03.042
- Okay, let me take one of the three...
[indistinct chatter]

1280
00:59:03.042 --> 00:59:05.500
- This is STEMCON, I don't...
- Oh, just take it.

1281
00:59:05.500 --> 00:59:07.583
- Be safe.
- Okay, bye. Love you!

1282
00:59:07.583 --> 00:59:09.417
- Use protection.
[door opens]

1283
00:59:09.417 --> 00:59:11.750
Aw, she is gonna nail it!

1284
00:59:11.750 --> 00:59:13.583
[door closes]

1285
00:59:14.208 --> 00:59:16.250
AVERY: <i>But first, the big night.</i>

1286
00:59:16.250 --> 00:59:19.167
<i>I was gonna rock Larson's world.</i>

1287
00:59:19.167 --> 00:59:21.417
<i>Wait, did I say Larson?</i>
[clears throat]

1288
00:59:21.417 --> 00:59:24.083
<i>I mean, Casper. Casper's world.</i>

1289
00:59:24.083 --> 00:59:26.583
- ...but the future of it all is...

1290
00:59:26.583 --> 00:59:29.083
- Casper, hi.
- Avery, oh, my God.

1291
00:59:29.083 --> 00:59:31.333
Oh, I'm so happy you're here.

1292
00:59:31.333 --> 00:59:34.042
AVERY: <i>This was the night</i>
<i>I was to rock Casper's world.</i>

1293
00:59:35.667 --> 00:59:37.625
- ...personal financial advice

1294
00:59:37.625 --> 00:59:40.833
just a tap away.

1295
00:59:40.833 --> 00:59:42.083
Fi-Tap.

1296
00:59:42.083 --> 00:59:43.542
Financing for college-bound...

1297
00:59:43.542 --> 00:59:46.833
AVERY: <i>I said Larson a second ago</i>
<i>because there was all this adrenaline</i>

1298
00:59:46.833 --> 00:59:48.833
<i>from preparation</i>
<i>for the approaching event,</i>

1299
00:59:48.833 --> 00:59:52.042
<i>but it's not like I was suddenly</i>
<i>falling for Larson or anything.</i>

1300
00:59:52.042 --> 00:59:55.292
<i>Just wanna be clear,</i>
<i>'cause that was not the plan.</i>

1301
00:59:55.292 --> 00:59:57.042
[applause]

1302
01:00:00.083 --> 01:00:01.583
[Avery giggles]
[head thuds]

1303
01:00:01.583 --> 01:00:03.375
Ow!
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

1304
01:00:03.375 --> 01:00:05.583
Oh, Jesus. All right?
- Yeah, it's all right.

1305
01:00:05.583 --> 01:00:06.458
- All right.

1306
01:00:06.458 --> 01:00:09.542
SPOCK: <i>To enhance the mood,</i>
<i>turn off the lights,</i>

1307
01:00:09.542 --> 01:00:11.417
<i>but have one main light source</i>
<i>from the left</i>

1308
01:00:11.417 --> 01:00:13.625
<i>for optional visibility.</i>

1309
01:00:13.625 --> 01:00:15.958
- Oh, actually, I think it's that... No.
- Just do it.

1310
01:00:15.958 --> 01:00:17.875
- The left side, I think.
He said the left side.

1311
01:00:17.875 --> 01:00:19.833
- Left. Your left or mine?

1312
01:00:19.833 --> 01:00:22.042
[giggles]
- All right.

1313
01:00:22.042 --> 01:00:26.417
SPOCK: <i>To heighten the experience,</i>
<i>employ music pleasing to the subject.</i>

1314
01:00:26.417 --> 01:00:28.792
- No, I made a playlist.
- Oh.

1315
01:00:28.792 --> 01:00:30.792
Spot on. This is spot on.
- Yeah.

1316
01:00:30.792 --> 01:00:31.958
[both laugh]

1317
01:00:31.958 --> 01:00:33.333
SPOCK: <i>Do you both consent?</i>

1318
01:00:33.333 --> 01:00:35.667
- I do.
- I do. [laughs]

1319
01:00:35.667 --> 01:00:37.500
SPOCK: <i>Foreplay may begin.</i>

1320
01:00:37.500 --> 01:00:39.042
- Wha...
- It's...

1321
01:00:42.792 --> 01:00:44.458
SPOCK: <i>Engage erogenous zones,</i>

1322
01:00:44.458 --> 01:00:50.417
<i>including ears, neck, back,</i>
<i>behind the knees, buttocks, elbows.</i>

1323
01:00:52.167 --> 01:00:53.583
- Ooh!
- Jeez! Ow, God.

1324
01:00:53.583 --> 01:00:55.792
- I hit you.
SPOCK: <i>Switch e-zones.</i>

1325
01:00:55.792 --> 01:00:58.958
<i>Nipples are stimulating</i>
<i>for both males and females.</i>

1326
01:00:58.958 --> 01:01:00.333
- Nipples.

1327
01:01:07.292 --> 01:01:09.250
Are you there yet?
- Okay. Oop.

1328
01:01:09.250 --> 01:01:10.875
- Oh, yeah!
- Yeah?

1329
01:01:10.875 --> 01:01:11.917
- No.

1330
01:01:11.917 --> 01:01:13.875
SPOCK: <i>When arousal has occurred,</i>

1331
01:01:13.875 --> 01:01:16.583
<i>subjects may employ choice contraception.</i>

1332
01:01:17.458 --> 01:01:19.250
- Yeah, yeah! [laughs]

1333
01:01:19.250 --> 01:01:20.792
- Um...
- Uh, I have one.

1334
01:01:20.792 --> 01:01:22.042
Here you are.

1335
01:01:24.000 --> 01:01:26.208
- "Microthin extra lubricated."

1336
01:01:26.208 --> 01:01:27.667
"Piña colada."

1337
01:01:28.625 --> 01:01:31.625
Such a complex flavor.
- Oh! So I've heard.

1338
01:01:31.625 --> 01:01:33.708
SPOCK: <i>Do you both consent?</i>

1339
01:01:33.708 --> 01:01:35.875
- I do.
- Hell yeah.

1340
01:01:38.167 --> 01:01:39.167
- Oh.

1341
01:01:46.542 --> 01:01:49.417
- I love your brain.
- I love your brain.

1342
01:01:59.333 --> 01:02:02.125
SPOCK:
<i>You are now achieving good sex.</i>

1343
01:02:02.125 --> 01:02:03.792
<i>Congratulations.</i>

1344
01:02:07.125 --> 01:02:09.208
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

1345
01:02:09.208 --> 01:02:10.583
- There you go.
- You sure?

1346
01:02:10.583 --> 01:02:13.083
- Mm-hmm.
- Um...

1347
01:02:13.083 --> 01:02:14.333
- Um...

1348
01:02:14.333 --> 01:02:17.167
- Do you maybe wanna try on top, maybe?
- Yeah.

1349
01:02:18.667 --> 01:02:20.625
- Okay?
- Okay.

1350
01:02:20.625 --> 01:02:22.708
- Nice.
- Ah, yeah.

1351
01:02:27.042 --> 01:02:28.500
- All right.
- Mm.

1352
01:02:39.208 --> 01:02:40.875
- Sh-Should we stop?

1353
01:02:44.458 --> 01:02:45.625
- Yeah.

1354
01:02:46.125 --> 01:02:47.708
- Okay. All right.

1355
01:02:47.708 --> 01:02:48.792
[clears throat]

1356
01:02:51.958 --> 01:02:53.292
[clears throat]

1357
01:03:02.708 --> 01:03:04.000
[Avery clicks tongue]

1358
01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:05.292
- Okay.

1359
01:03:05.292 --> 01:03:06.583
Uh...

1360
01:03:06.583 --> 01:03:07.708
- Okay.

1361
01:03:12.458 --> 01:03:15.667
<i>♪ White silver stripes ♪</i>

1362
01:03:15.667 --> 01:03:19.167
<i>♪ Blue dot, black star ♪</i>

1363
01:03:22.458 --> 01:03:26.875
<i>♪ Big dreamin' little ants ♪</i>

1364
01:03:26.875 --> 01:03:31.083
<i>♪ It's just who we are ♪</i>

1365
01:03:33.792 --> 01:03:37.625
<i>♪ I want to change ♪</i>

1366
01:03:38.667 --> 01:03:42.417
<i>♪ I want to change what's to come ♪</i>

1367
01:03:43.917 --> 01:03:47.792
<i>♪ I want to change ♪</i>

1368
01:03:48.375 --> 01:03:52.458
<i>♪ I want to change the subject ♪</i>

1369
01:03:53.833 --> 01:03:57.292
<i>♪ I want to change... ♪</i>

1370
01:03:57.292 --> 01:04:00.458
♪ rock band playing ♪

1371
01:04:00.458 --> 01:04:01.875
[applause]

1372
01:04:01.875 --> 01:04:05.542
EMCEE: <i>Now, welcome to the stage</i>
<i>our reigning champion,</i>

1373
01:04:05.542 --> 01:04:07.833
<i>sure to dazzle us yet again,</i>

1374
01:04:07.833 --> 01:04:10.542
<i>Ms. Avery Hansen-White!</i>

1375
01:04:10.542 --> 01:04:11.625
[cheering]

1376
01:04:16.375 --> 01:04:18.625
STUDENT: We love you, Avery!

1377
01:04:22.042 --> 01:04:25.750
AVERY: <i>How was I going to sell an app</i>
<i>to an entire room of people</i>

1378
01:04:25.750 --> 01:04:27.750
<i>when I knew it didn't work?</i>

1379
01:04:27.750 --> 01:04:32.000
I was terrified that my first
sexual encounter would be a failure.

1380
01:04:32.000 --> 01:04:34.250
We've all been there, am I right?

1381
01:04:34.250 --> 01:04:35.667
[audience silent]

1382
01:04:35.667 --> 01:04:37.792
[scattered murmuring]

1383
01:04:39.458 --> 01:04:43.542
What if you could erase
all that fear of failure

1384
01:04:43.542 --> 01:04:46.042
from your first time
with a sexual partner?

1385
01:04:46.042 --> 01:04:50.167
What if there was an app
designed to prepare its user

1386
01:04:50.167 --> 01:04:53.792
for a mutually appealing
and successful experience?

1387
01:04:58.708 --> 01:05:00.667
♪

1388
01:05:09.708 --> 01:05:13.000
Imagine if you had Sex Appeal.

1389
01:05:16.125 --> 01:05:18.417
[murmuring continues]

1390
01:05:29.000 --> 01:05:30.417
I'm really sorry, um...

1391
01:05:31.500 --> 01:05:34.125
I withdraw my, my presentation.

1392
01:05:34.125 --> 01:05:36.292
I... Thank you.

1393
01:05:36.292 --> 01:05:38.250
[confused murmuring]

1394
01:05:40.208 --> 01:05:42.042
EMCEE: Ms. Hansen-White?

1395
01:05:44.333 --> 01:05:47.458
[applause]
- Thank you so much. Thanks.

1396
01:05:47.458 --> 01:05:48.792
GIRL: Thank you.

1397
01:05:53.333 --> 01:05:55.792
- Thank you.
- Thank you. Thank you.

1398
01:05:55.792 --> 01:05:57.875
[applause continues]

1399
01:06:10.250 --> 01:06:13.000
- All that build-up, you know,
all the anticipation,

1400
01:06:13.000 --> 01:06:15.125
and it wasn't really anything.

1401
01:06:15.125 --> 01:06:18.083
And, you know, given that it was
technically a milestone event,

1402
01:06:18.083 --> 01:06:19.792
it was so uneventful.

1403
01:06:19.792 --> 01:06:21.042
[scoffs] And I don't know,

1404
01:06:21.042 --> 01:06:22.500
I thought I'd feel...

1405
01:06:23.417 --> 01:06:24.542
different?

1406
01:06:24.542 --> 01:06:26.458
- Well, maybe that's the problem, Avery.

1407
01:06:27.833 --> 01:06:31.167
You don't seem to feel anything.

1408
01:06:32.542 --> 01:06:34.208
Or care about anyone.

1409
01:06:34.917 --> 01:06:36.500
- What?

1410
01:06:36.500 --> 01:06:38.500
That's not true.
I mean, I care about you.

1411
01:06:38.500 --> 01:06:39.542
- Right.

1412
01:06:45.417 --> 01:06:48.125
Okay, well, I have homework, so...

1413
01:06:48.125 --> 01:06:51.333
- Cool. I'll do it for you,
and then we can hang.

1414
01:06:51.333 --> 01:06:54.125
- I can't do that with you, Avery.
- Why not?

1415
01:06:54.125 --> 01:06:56.333
- Do you actually think
I'm into bioluminescence?

1416
01:06:57.000 --> 01:07:00.167
- I mean, I'm guessing you're not
for the sake of your argument,

1417
01:07:00.167 --> 01:07:02.292
but... everyone should be.

1418
01:07:02.292 --> 01:07:03.958
- Well, they're not.

1419
01:07:03.958 --> 01:07:06.625
Avery, let me explain something to you.

1420
01:07:07.542 --> 01:07:09.417
I have always cared about you.

1421
01:07:10.500 --> 01:07:12.167
That boob graze, I...

1422
01:07:12.875 --> 01:07:16.792
I was an idiot 14-year-old getting advice
from other idiot 14-year-olds

1423
01:07:16.792 --> 01:07:19.708
who told me if I wanted to be
more than friends with you,

1424
01:07:19.708 --> 01:07:21.917
I needed to make a move.

1425
01:07:21.917 --> 01:07:23.167
So I did.

1426
01:07:23.792 --> 01:07:26.042
And you rejected me, and that's fine.

1427
01:07:26.042 --> 01:07:30.375
But I spent the next three years
trying really hard to move on.

1428
01:07:31.167 --> 01:07:32.917
And I finally did.

1429
01:07:34.167 --> 01:07:37.375
But then you suck me back in
with this thing that I didn't want to do

1430
01:07:37.375 --> 01:07:38.667
and here I am again.

1431
01:07:39.750 --> 01:07:40.708
And I'm done.

1432
01:07:40.708 --> 01:07:43.917
I'm done waiting for the moment
where you...

1433
01:07:44.583 --> 01:07:46.125
change your mind about me.

1434
01:07:47.833 --> 01:07:49.292
About us.

1435
01:07:50.375 --> 01:07:51.458
- Us?

1436
01:07:52.542 --> 01:07:55.208
I mean, Larson, I'm moving
to Massachusetts in the fall,

1437
01:07:55.208 --> 01:07:57.208
so it just wouldn't be practical.

1438
01:07:57.208 --> 01:08:00.625
- Practical? Jesus, Avery!
What about emotional, huh?

1439
01:08:00.625 --> 01:08:03.125
- Okay, well, you do seem
to be getting a little emotional.

1440
01:08:03.125 --> 01:08:05.083
- Yeah... You know what?

1441
01:08:05.083 --> 01:08:06.458
You... you're right.

1442
01:08:08.042 --> 01:08:09.875
I have no place to be upset.

1443
01:08:11.458 --> 01:08:12.708
This grew for me.

1444
01:08:13.500 --> 01:08:15.625
It didn't grow for you, and that...

1445
01:08:16.500 --> 01:08:18.042
that just sucks.

1446
01:08:18.042 --> 01:08:21.042
- Well, I never said
that it didn't grow for me.

1447
01:08:21.042 --> 01:08:22.958
- Do you have feelings for me?

1448
01:08:24.250 --> 01:08:25.792
- I mean, I...

1449
01:08:25.792 --> 01:08:27.708
- You...?

1450
01:08:28.958 --> 01:08:30.375
- I mean...

1451
01:08:30.375 --> 01:08:32.417
- Come on, Avery,
you always have an answer.

1452
01:08:32.417 --> 01:08:35.542
- Yeah, well, I wanna have
the right answer.

1453
01:08:42.042 --> 01:08:44.208
I...

1454
01:08:44.208 --> 01:08:46.375
- I don't wanna be
your guinea pig anymore.

1455
01:08:48.583 --> 01:08:50.083
- Hey, you're not.

1456
01:08:50.083 --> 01:08:51.250
- Really?

1457
01:08:52.208 --> 01:08:55.875
Then why do you always ask
to experiment on me and never with me?

1458
01:08:57.500 --> 01:08:59.083
- Larson... hang on.

1459
01:08:59.083 --> 01:09:00.792
We both were practicing...

1460
01:09:00.792 --> 01:09:02.833
- For you, Avery!

1461
01:09:02.833 --> 01:09:05.208
- We both agreed to everything.

1462
01:09:05.208 --> 01:09:09.292
Are you upset that I slept
with Casper instead of you?

1463
01:09:13.292 --> 01:09:14.625
- No.

1464
01:09:14.625 --> 01:09:16.542
No, I'm glad we didn't.

1465
01:09:17.625 --> 01:09:20.542
Because I'm waiting to be
with someone who cares about me

1466
01:09:20.542 --> 01:09:22.167
as much as I care about them.

1467
01:09:24.083 --> 01:09:27.167
So... it would have been a big mistake.

1468
01:09:59.083 --> 01:10:01.542
AVERY:
<i>Maybe Larson was right.</i>

1469
01:10:01.542 --> 01:10:04.292
<i>Maybe I should have considered</i>
<i>his hypothesis</i>

1470
01:10:04.292 --> 01:10:06.750
<i>that love and sex were intertwined.</i>

1471
01:10:06.750 --> 01:10:08.625
<i>Was that the missing data?</i>

1472
01:10:08.625 --> 01:10:12.042
<i>Had I disregarded</i>
<i>a crucial piece of intel?</i>

1473
01:10:12.542 --> 01:10:15.917
- The best part about sex
is for sure the love.

1474
01:10:15.917 --> 01:10:17.708
- There is no greater feeling.

1475
01:10:17.708 --> 01:10:19.667
It's beyond a physical feeling.

1476
01:10:19.667 --> 01:10:23.458
- The idea that you could be
completely naked with someone

1477
01:10:23.458 --> 01:10:26.125
and be totally comfortable, that's...

1478
01:10:27.083 --> 01:10:28.708
that's incredible.

1479
01:10:28.708 --> 01:10:30.792
That's like next level trust.

1480
01:10:30.792 --> 01:10:33.542
- You just want to spend
every second with them,

1481
01:10:33.542 --> 01:10:35.542
want to share everything with them.

1482
01:10:36.542 --> 01:10:38.167
If you lose them...

1483
01:10:38.167 --> 01:10:40.333
- If that trust is broken...

1484
01:10:40.333 --> 01:10:42.208
- The emptiness, it's...

1485
01:10:42.208 --> 01:10:43.583
suffocating.

1486
01:10:43.583 --> 01:10:46.333
- My ex broke up with me over text, and...

1487
01:10:46.333 --> 01:10:48.333
he didn't even give me a reason.

1488
01:10:48.333 --> 01:10:51.583
- Best way to get over someone
is to get under someone else.

1489
01:10:52.708 --> 01:10:53.958
Doesn't really work like that.

1490
01:10:53.958 --> 01:10:57.792
- When Melissa Delazzo started sitting
with Dwayne on the bus instead of me...

1491
01:10:58.625 --> 01:11:01.958
it was like I lost the rudder
to the ship of myself.

1492
01:11:02.667 --> 01:11:07.125
- To quote T. Swift, "I never heard
a silence quite this loud."

1493
01:11:07.125 --> 01:11:09.375
[sobbing]
- I know.

1494
01:11:09.375 --> 01:11:11.125
Just... please.

1495
01:11:11.125 --> 01:11:12.292
- Feelings.

1496
01:11:14.125 --> 01:11:15.958
You can't control shit.

1497
01:11:15.958 --> 01:11:18.917
- Rejection can have you shattered
into a million pieces.

1498
01:11:18.917 --> 01:11:21.333
- All of a sudden,
you're reaching out for this person

1499
01:11:21.333 --> 01:11:24.708
who was always there before,
but now they're gone.

1500
01:11:25.250 --> 01:11:28.625
- Truth is, you don't... you don't
just lose a piece of your heart,

1501
01:11:28.625 --> 01:11:29.833
you lose...

1502
01:11:32.250 --> 01:11:33.917
you lose your best friend.

1503
01:11:43.417 --> 01:11:45.292
- Hey, hon, how are you feeling?

1504
01:11:45.292 --> 01:11:46.958
- Fine. Shut the door.

1505
01:11:46.958 --> 01:11:48.625
MAMA SUZE: Are you su...

1506
01:11:49.375 --> 01:11:52.167
Need to just talk a little? Okay.
- Shut the door. Nope. Nope.

1507
01:11:53.292 --> 01:11:55.542
- What are you feeling?
Name your feelings by name.

1508
01:11:55.542 --> 01:11:57.042
- Shut the door!

1509
01:11:57.042 --> 01:11:59.500
MAMA SUZE: I told you
she's not gonna talk to you.
- Please!

1510
01:12:01.167 --> 01:12:02.375
[Avery groans]

1511
01:12:02.375 --> 01:12:05.208
MAMA SUZE: Get in there! Go!
AVERY: Oh, my...

1512
01:12:06.292 --> 01:12:08.625
- Oh, yay, it's my turn.

1513
01:12:08.625 --> 01:12:12.250
- [whines] Maternal figures multiplying.

1514
01:12:12.250 --> 01:12:13.542
- I know.

1515
01:12:13.542 --> 01:12:15.083
Go easy on me.

1516
01:12:21.292 --> 01:12:22.708
Look, I...

1517
01:12:22.708 --> 01:12:23.917
I'm here for you,

1518
01:12:23.917 --> 01:12:26.292
and I'm just gonna sit here
till you ask me to leave.

1519
01:12:35.333 --> 01:12:36.917
- I lost...

1520
01:12:36.917 --> 01:12:38.417
- STEMCON?

1521
01:12:39.833 --> 01:12:41.083
- That too, I guess.

1522
01:12:41.083 --> 01:12:43.750
- Oh, your virginity.

1523
01:12:44.292 --> 01:12:46.042
- Hmm, that too.

1524
01:12:48.458 --> 01:12:51.458
No, that's not what I mean.
- Oh, shit. What else did you lose?

1525
01:12:52.333 --> 01:12:54.292
- The only real friend I've ever had.

1526
01:12:55.417 --> 01:12:56.750
- Oh.

1527
01:12:59.833 --> 01:13:03.417
So that means they lost someone
special to them too.

1528
01:13:04.708 --> 01:13:06.375
- I hadn't considered that.

1529
01:13:07.125 --> 01:13:09.833
- Yeah, that's the thing
with friendship or sex.

1530
01:13:12.333 --> 01:13:13.500
- You may continue.

1531
01:13:14.292 --> 01:13:17.833
- Yeah, so the key
to a good friendship or good sex

1532
01:13:17.833 --> 01:13:21.542
is, um, it's about giving, not taking.

1533
01:13:21.542 --> 01:13:24.208
So luckily, like sex,
friendship is something

1534
01:13:24.208 --> 01:13:27.792
that you can get better at
with practice.

1535
01:13:28.750 --> 01:13:31.542
- That lands.

1536
01:13:33.458 --> 01:13:34.958
Good job, Kim.

1537
01:13:36.000 --> 01:13:37.083
- Cool.

1538
01:13:38.208 --> 01:13:40.292
[sighs] Glad I could help.

1539
01:13:41.417 --> 01:13:44.167
This teen crisis has been so stressful.

1540
01:13:45.083 --> 01:13:46.792
Okay, good.

1541
01:13:47.375 --> 01:13:49.500
- What did she say?
Tell her to name her feelings and...

1542
01:13:49.500 --> 01:13:52.917
- Oh, my God.
- Don't ask me to name my feelings.

1543
01:13:52.917 --> 01:13:53.958
- Okay.

1544
01:13:55.458 --> 01:13:56.542
But...

1545
01:13:56.542 --> 01:13:59.292
he probably needs to know how you feel.

1546
01:13:59.292 --> 01:14:00.625
So...

1547
01:14:00.625 --> 01:14:03.417
when you know, you should tell him.

1548
01:14:03.417 --> 01:14:05.958
- Like I gotta go get the guy?

1549
01:14:05.958 --> 01:14:08.375
- Yeah. And speak from the heart.

1550
01:14:08.375 --> 01:14:10.375
It's the best way back into his.

1551
01:14:15.333 --> 01:14:16.458
Okay.

1552
01:14:16.458 --> 01:14:18.875
I don't know why I did that. Okay.

1553
01:14:20.667 --> 01:14:22.792
I did it.
MAMA SUZE: That went great!

1554
01:14:22.792 --> 01:14:24.042
MA DEB: Yay!

1555
01:14:27.250 --> 01:14:32.042
♪ playing Sousa march ♪

1556
01:14:33.208 --> 01:14:35.333
- Ahem. Excuse me. So sorry.

1557
01:14:38.250 --> 01:14:42.125
Larson, your hypothesis was correct.

1558
01:14:42.125 --> 01:14:46.125
Love and sex are absolutely intertwined.

1559
01:14:47.125 --> 01:14:49.208
I've got an answer for you.

1560
01:14:49.208 --> 01:14:51.708
[Burl Ives singing
<i>What Child is This?</i>]

1561
01:14:54.792 --> 01:14:57.208
My answer is that there is no answer.

1562
01:14:58.583 --> 01:15:02.000
There is no answer because
this isn't math or physics

1563
01:15:02.000 --> 01:15:03.542
or some kind of equation.

1564
01:15:03.542 --> 01:15:06.458
We got into this
under the pretense of an experiment,

1565
01:15:06.458 --> 01:15:10.875
and you're right, it evolved
into something much more.

1566
01:15:10.875 --> 01:15:12.375
♪ music continues on phone ♪

1567
01:15:15.083 --> 01:15:16.417
- [softly] Avery, please.

1568
01:15:16.417 --> 01:15:18.083
- Wait... Larson.

1569
01:15:18.083 --> 01:15:19.625
Larson!

1570
01:15:21.500 --> 01:15:26.417
- Look, I knew it would backfire,
and now things, they're just different.

1571
01:15:26.417 --> 01:15:27.958
But I'm good with it, okay?

1572
01:15:28.667 --> 01:15:30.083
AVERY: Wait, wait, hang on.

1573
01:15:30.083 --> 01:15:32.458
Larson, it's not that I don't
feel something for you.

1574
01:15:32.458 --> 01:15:33.625
Okay?

1575
01:15:33.625 --> 01:15:36.042
Look, I... I do.

1576
01:15:36.042 --> 01:15:39.375
I feel more than I've ever felt
for a person, and...

1577
01:15:39.375 --> 01:15:42.167
if I had known that I was hurting you,
I never would have--

1578
01:15:42.167 --> 01:15:43.250
- Would have what?

1579
01:15:44.708 --> 01:15:46.458
- The experiment.

1580
01:15:47.250 --> 01:15:48.958
But it wasn't for nothing.

1581
01:15:48.958 --> 01:15:52.167
Because I learned how much
I truly care about you.

1582
01:15:52.167 --> 01:15:54.000
- Avery, you were right.

1583
01:15:54.000 --> 01:15:55.375
You're the crocodile.

1584
01:15:56.583 --> 01:15:58.750
But the crocodile can live alone
in that swamp.

1585
01:15:59.292 --> 01:16:01.458
And that is okay.

1586
01:16:01.458 --> 01:16:04.583
'Cause we need people like you
who are gonna change that swamp

1587
01:16:04.583 --> 01:16:07.667
with their achievements
and discoveries and...

1588
01:16:07.667 --> 01:16:11.375
but we need birds like me
who are gonna love them

1589
01:16:11.375 --> 01:16:13.792
for being exactly that.

1590
01:16:14.750 --> 01:16:18.583
But for that symbiosis
to work in the world...

1591
01:16:22.375 --> 01:16:24.875
the bird really needs
to go fly with other birds.

1592
01:16:34.417 --> 01:16:35.708
AVERY: Larson, wait!

1593
01:16:40.333 --> 01:16:41.708
Go to prom with me.

1594
01:16:42.208 --> 01:16:45.625
- [scoffs] What?
- Yeah. Let's go to prom.

1595
01:16:47.125 --> 01:16:48.333
- No.

1596
01:16:49.167 --> 01:16:50.792
- Why?

1597
01:16:53.000 --> 01:16:56.208
- You said it yourself, it's just a bunch
of overhyped, superfluous--

1598
01:16:56.208 --> 01:16:57.583
- No, you were right, okay?

1599
01:16:57.583 --> 01:17:00.208
We never did any
of the fun high school stuff.

1600
01:17:02.792 --> 01:17:05.500
- I don't wanna go. I'm over it.

1601
01:17:06.250 --> 01:17:09.500
- I don't... I don't believe that.

1602
01:17:10.958 --> 01:17:12.542
Come on, we should go.

1603
01:17:14.625 --> 01:17:16.958
You, me, prom.

1604
01:17:20.917 --> 01:17:22.750
- I thought STEM was your prom.

1605
01:17:25.875 --> 01:17:27.167
- Larson.

1606
01:17:31.917 --> 01:17:33.333
- Avery, I gotta go.

1607
01:17:33.333 --> 01:17:35.583
- Well, I'll walk with you.
- I'm good.

1608
01:17:35.583 --> 01:17:38.167
- Look, I may not show it
in the same way, but...

1609
01:17:40.750 --> 01:17:42.208
I...

1610
01:17:42.208 --> 01:17:44.083
I love you.

1611
01:17:46.792 --> 01:17:48.417
I love you.

1612
01:17:52.333 --> 01:17:53.500
I love you.

1613
01:17:55.333 --> 01:17:56.583
Larson!

1614
01:17:57.750 --> 01:17:59.042
Larson!

1615
01:17:59.583 --> 01:18:01.083
[door clangs open]

1616
01:18:01.083 --> 01:18:02.417
Larson...

1617
01:18:02.417 --> 01:18:04.167
[door closes]

1618
01:18:10.917 --> 01:18:12.208
[sniffles]

1619
01:18:30.708 --> 01:18:32.417
- What are you doing here?

1620
01:18:32.417 --> 01:18:35.125
- I come up here every day
to cry and smoke.

1621
01:18:35.125 --> 01:18:36.917
Why are you in my spot?

1622
01:18:39.042 --> 01:18:41.000
Oh, shit.

1623
01:18:42.792 --> 01:18:43.875
All right.

1624
01:18:44.625 --> 01:18:45.750
Talk to me.

1625
01:18:45.750 --> 01:18:48.875
AVERY: <i>I told her everything,</i>
<i>about the sexperiments,</i>

1626
01:18:48.875 --> 01:18:52.208
<i>failing STEMCON,</i>
<i>realizing I love Larson.</i>

1627
01:18:52.208 --> 01:18:53.667
I messed up.

1628
01:18:53.667 --> 01:18:56.500
I was so focused on doing things right...

1629
01:18:56.500 --> 01:18:57.792
that I didn't...

1630
01:18:59.500 --> 01:19:02.250
I didn't realize that I was hurting him.
I failed him.

1631
01:19:02.250 --> 01:19:06.708
- Didn't Einstein fail a bunch of times
before he got it right?

1632
01:19:06.708 --> 01:19:10.875
- That is an exhausted anecdote,
overused by underachievers.

1633
01:19:10.875 --> 01:19:14.083
- You kids are overly worried
about getting good at the sex stuff.

1634
01:19:14.083 --> 01:19:15.875
That's the easy part.

1635
01:19:15.875 --> 01:19:18.625
It's the relationship that takes practice.

1636
01:19:18.625 --> 01:19:20.667
- How much practice?

1637
01:19:20.667 --> 01:19:25.167
Because I don't think I ever want
to feel like this again.

1638
01:19:25.167 --> 01:19:28.042
- All right, if your heart hurts,
your heart works.

1639
01:19:28.042 --> 01:19:31.542
You got one rep in, it'll be easier
to go there next time.

1640
01:19:31.542 --> 01:19:32.667
- Next time?

1641
01:19:33.292 --> 01:19:35.250
- Yeah.
- But what about Larson?

1642
01:19:35.250 --> 01:19:39.292
Is there any saving of friendship
that went beyond friendship?

1643
01:19:39.292 --> 01:19:40.667
- Sometimes.

1644
01:19:42.375 --> 01:19:46.083
And sometimes a person or friendship
is just part of the journey

1645
01:19:46.083 --> 01:19:47.708
to figuring your own shit out.

1646
01:19:51.708 --> 01:19:52.708
- Thank you.

1647
01:19:53.208 --> 01:19:55.292
- Eh, I got a few good ones in me.

1648
01:19:55.958 --> 01:19:57.208
[clicks tongue]

1649
01:19:58.292 --> 01:19:59.875
Stay safe.

1650
01:20:02.208 --> 01:20:04.208
Be prepared.
- Yeah.

1651
01:20:04.208 --> 01:20:07.458
- I will be back in ten minutes
to smoke this joint.

1652
01:20:08.125 --> 01:20:09.875
You better be gone.
- I'll be gone.

1653
01:20:09.875 --> 01:20:11.167
- Okay.

1654
01:20:16.625 --> 01:20:21.208
♪ student singing ballad ♪

1655
01:20:21.208 --> 01:20:23.583
[students chattering]

1656
01:20:23.583 --> 01:20:26.750
<i>♪ But I'm dying to feel something ♪</i>

1657
01:20:26.750 --> 01:20:28.958
<i>♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪</i>

1658
01:20:29.167 --> 01:20:31.583
<i>♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪</i>

1659
01:20:31.583 --> 01:20:34.292
<i>♪ But you're still away ♪</i>

1660
01:20:35.250 --> 01:20:39.083
<i>♪ But I want you to stay ♪</i>

1661
01:20:41.417 --> 01:20:42.917
- Hey.

1662
01:20:42.917 --> 01:20:44.333
I'm Avery.

1663
01:20:44.333 --> 01:20:45.333
- Hey.

1664
01:20:49.583 --> 01:20:53.042
- So, my buddy Larson really likes you.

1665
01:20:53.042 --> 01:20:55.375
- Larson? Like Larson Hecht?

1666
01:20:55.375 --> 01:20:57.875
- Yeah.
- Aren't you guys a thing?

1667
01:20:58.917 --> 01:21:00.125
- No. [laughs]

1668
01:21:01.875 --> 01:21:05.667
But, um, he's liked you for a while now.

1669
01:21:05.667 --> 01:21:07.542
He's incredible.

1670
01:21:07.542 --> 01:21:12.083
He's gonna make the right girl
so damn happy.

1671
01:21:12.083 --> 01:21:13.375
So...

1672
01:21:13.375 --> 01:21:16.792
if you like him,
you should ask him to prom.

1673
01:21:16.792 --> 01:21:18.583
- Well, why won't he just ask me?

1674
01:21:20.833 --> 01:21:22.458
- 'Cause he's been hurt.

1675
01:21:23.417 --> 01:21:24.833
And...

1676
01:21:26.167 --> 01:21:30.375
he doesn't want to put himself out there
in case he gets hurt again, so...

1677
01:21:31.958 --> 01:21:33.667
Or maybe you could just ask him.

1678
01:21:34.708 --> 01:21:36.083
He's worth it.

1679
01:21:36.708 --> 01:21:38.208
I promise.

1680
01:21:38.208 --> 01:21:39.542
- Okay.

1681
01:21:39.542 --> 01:21:41.708
Um... I think I will.

1682
01:21:41.708 --> 01:21:42.750
Thanks.

1683
01:21:48.292 --> 01:21:50.375
- [clicks tongue] Hey, cute girl.

1684
01:21:51.542 --> 01:21:53.000
You have a personality, right?

1685
01:21:53.000 --> 01:21:54.583
- Excuse me?

1686
01:21:54.583 --> 01:21:58.958
- Well, you're not just
some attractive object of pursuit.

1687
01:21:58.958 --> 01:22:01.000
I've seen this a lot
in the films I watched

1688
01:22:01.000 --> 01:22:02.750
in preparation for losing my virginity.

1689
01:22:05.125 --> 01:22:06.208
- Okay.

1690
01:22:07.500 --> 01:22:12.708
First of all, "cute" is a term I reserve
for instafamous hedgehogs.

1691
01:22:13.583 --> 01:22:17.292
I'm not a girl, I'm a young woman,
with an extensive list of interests,

1692
01:22:17.292 --> 01:22:19.500
and just because I practice
active listening,

1693
01:22:19.500 --> 01:22:21.417
doesn't mean I'm inarticulate
or submissive.

1694
01:22:21.417 --> 01:22:22.625
Hi.

1695
01:22:23.375 --> 01:22:25.167
My name's Lyssa.

1696
01:22:26.292 --> 01:22:27.500
- Nice to meet you.

1697
01:22:30.083 --> 01:22:31.750
Go get the guy, would ya?

1698
01:22:34.958 --> 01:22:37.833
TEACHER:
Why, such is love's transgression,

1699
01:22:37.833 --> 01:22:40.792
griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast.

1700
01:22:40.792 --> 01:22:43.792
[knock on door]
- Can I help you, Avery?

1701
01:22:43.792 --> 01:22:46.042
- Excuse me, sorry.
I, uh...

1702
01:22:46.042 --> 01:22:50.167
Just refer to your textbooks
for the rest of that enchanting passage.

1703
01:22:50.167 --> 01:22:51.750
I'll just be a moment.

1704
01:22:53.500 --> 01:22:54.708
Sorry, uh...

1705
01:22:54.708 --> 01:22:57.333
I... I just... I regraded my paper.

1706
01:22:57.333 --> 01:23:01.500
Um... you gave me an 89
and I deserved...

1707
01:23:01.500 --> 01:23:03.042
- An A-plus?

1708
01:23:03.042 --> 01:23:05.917
Avery, I'm a massive Trekkie.

1709
01:23:05.917 --> 01:23:07.583
None of the references were lost on me.

1710
01:23:07.583 --> 01:23:10.667
I just didn't find them relevant
in an essay about...

1711
01:23:11.833 --> 01:23:13.250
love.

1712
01:23:14.417 --> 01:23:16.792
Wow. That's a B.

1713
01:23:17.542 --> 01:23:19.708
That's a big ugly B regular.

1714
01:23:19.708 --> 01:23:22.875
- While those references were spot-on...

1715
01:23:23.708 --> 01:23:24.750
I missed the point.

1716
01:23:25.750 --> 01:23:28.208
You can't calculate for love.

1717
01:23:28.208 --> 01:23:31.625
You can only experience as much love
as you're willing to give.

1718
01:23:32.542 --> 01:23:34.208
That's the real choice.

1719
01:23:35.375 --> 01:23:36.875
I didn't get that, so...

1720
01:23:37.625 --> 01:23:38.833
I concede.

1721
01:23:38.833 --> 01:23:40.583
I don't deserve an A.

1722
01:23:40.583 --> 01:23:42.667
- That's very mature of you, Avery.

1723
01:23:42.667 --> 01:23:44.750
- Well, I am a woman now.

1724
01:23:44.750 --> 01:23:46.083
[muffled laughter]

1725
01:23:46.083 --> 01:23:47.875
Not because I popped my cherry.

1726
01:23:47.875 --> 01:23:48.917
Relax.

1727
01:23:48.917 --> 01:23:50.625
It's, I just...

1728
01:23:52.042 --> 01:23:55.042
learned that sometimes
you have to fail to grow.

1729
01:23:55.042 --> 01:23:57.833
- Well, you didn't fail.
I mean, that's a B.

1730
01:23:57.833 --> 01:24:01.167
And your grade won't be compromised
with a 105 average.

1731
01:24:01.167 --> 01:24:03.208
- Yeah, the move was strategic,

1732
01:24:03.208 --> 01:24:05.500
but relish in the sentiment, will ya?

1733
01:24:09.250 --> 01:24:11.042
[whispering] I'll see ya later.

1734
01:24:15.167 --> 01:24:16.542
[teacher clears throat]

1735
01:24:16.542 --> 01:24:18.000
- Okay.

1736
01:24:18.000 --> 01:24:20.625
So where was I, breast?
I leave off at breast?

1737
01:24:20.625 --> 01:24:22.542
[students murmuring]
STUDENT: Uh, yeah.

1738
01:24:22.542 --> 01:24:24.833
♪ romantic pop song playing ♪

1739
01:24:35.625 --> 01:24:37.417
[indistinct conversation]

1740
01:24:39.292 --> 01:24:41.042
AVERY:
<i>I set the whole thing up.</i>

1741
01:24:41.042 --> 01:24:43.375
<i>I had to make sure</i>
<i>it went according to plan.</i>

1742
01:24:44.708 --> 01:24:45.708
<i>And it did.</i>

1743
01:24:51.875 --> 01:24:54.750
- Don't be weird, be reals.
- Okay.

1744
01:24:56.542 --> 01:24:59.083
AVERY: <i>I thought high school</i>
<i>was about setting yourself up</i>

1745
01:24:59.083 --> 01:25:02.250
<i>for the rest of your life,</i>
<i>and it kind of is.</i>

1746
01:25:02.250 --> 01:25:03.375
- Come on.

1747
01:25:03.375 --> 01:25:05.167
AVERY:
<i>Just not in the way I expected.</i>

1748
01:25:05.167 --> 01:25:07.708
SINGER: <i>All right,</i>
<i>let's turn this party up!</i>

1749
01:25:07.708 --> 01:25:10.583
AVERY: <i>Don't get me wrong,</i>
<i>I'm proud of my GPA,</i>

1750
01:25:10.583 --> 01:25:13.042
<i>and I can't wait to go to MIT.</i>

1751
01:25:14.125 --> 01:25:16.458
<i>But the most valuable lesson</i>
<i>from high school...</i>

1752
01:25:17.667 --> 01:25:19.083
<i>came from Larson.</i>

1753
01:25:24.083 --> 01:25:26.125
<i>Not how to be good at sex,</i>

1754
01:25:26.125 --> 01:25:28.708
<i>but to be good to others.</i>

1755
01:25:30.708 --> 01:25:35.167
<i>Because it turns out, making</i>
<i>other people happy makes you happy.</i>

1756
01:25:35.167 --> 01:25:38.125
- Avery!
♪ dance music playing ♪

1757
01:25:38.125 --> 01:25:40.375
AVERY:
<i>And that's a pretty epic win.</i>

1758
01:25:43.833 --> 01:25:47.208
<i>♪ All we need's a bit of each other ♪</i>

1759
01:25:47.208 --> 01:25:48.917
<i>♪ To feel new ♪</i>

1760
01:25:52.208 --> 01:25:54.375
<i>♪ I've got a lot of steam ♪</i>

1761
01:25:54.375 --> 01:25:56.125
<i>♪ To blow off ♪</i>

1762
01:26:02.750 --> 01:26:04.958
DIRECTOR: Scene 1, actor take 1, mark.

1763
01:26:05.625 --> 01:26:08.167
[snickers]
<i>- ♪ Bam bam bam bam ♪</i>

1764
01:26:08.167 --> 01:26:09.875
[crew laughing]

1765
01:26:09.875 --> 01:26:12.125
AVERY: I'm sorry.
- I... I don't know what to tell you.

1766
01:26:12.125 --> 01:26:14.708
Yeah, babe, I mean,
we can't do this all for you.

1767
01:26:14.708 --> 01:26:16.125
What, am I gonna suck his dick for you?

1768
01:26:16.125 --> 01:26:17.417
[laughing]

1769
01:26:17.417 --> 01:26:19.125
- Yeah, I will.

1770
01:26:19.125 --> 01:26:20.833
Ooh. We both would.

1771
01:26:20.833 --> 01:26:23.125
- Well, speak for yourself.
- Just let us know.

1772
01:26:23.125 --> 01:26:25.542
[crew laughing]

1773
01:26:26.250 --> 01:26:28.875
- Feel like... I forgot the line.

1774
01:26:28.875 --> 01:26:30.250
[crew laughing]
Wow.

1775
01:26:30.250 --> 01:26:31.667
DIRECTOR: Can you touch a little longer?

1776
01:26:31.667 --> 01:26:32.792
LARSON: Whoa.

1777
01:26:32.792 --> 01:26:34.125
[crew laughing]

1778
01:26:34.125 --> 01:26:37.208
- Math does the body good!

1779
01:26:37.208 --> 01:26:38.875
- Oh, yeah. [laughs]

1780
01:26:38.875 --> 01:26:40.417
[needle scratches record]
Wha...?

1781
01:26:40.417 --> 01:26:42.917
- What? I didn't mean it like that.
I didn't mean it like that.

1782
01:26:42.917 --> 01:26:44.625
- Chill out, bro.
- No, no, no, we're good.

1783
01:26:44.625 --> 01:26:47.625
- We're seniors, and you've never been
to a school dance,

1784
01:26:47.625 --> 01:26:50.250
and we both know you don't think--
do things you're not-- Sorry.

1785
01:26:50.250 --> 01:26:54.417
- I'm willing to let you out on parole if
you return to your test position... to...

1786
01:26:54.417 --> 01:26:55.542
Fuckin'...

1787
01:26:55.542 --> 01:26:59.333
[imitating rewinding audio]
AVERY: Fuck. I'm sorry.

1788
01:26:59.333 --> 01:27:00.458
[crew laughing]

1789
01:27:00.458 --> 01:27:01.667
Combo.

1790
01:27:01.667 --> 01:27:03.083
DIRECTOR: Oh, that's cool.

1791
01:27:03.083 --> 01:27:05.500
- Spock.
- [laughing] Very nice, Spock.

1792
01:27:05.500 --> 01:27:08.625
- Reverse Spock.
WOMAN: Reverse Spock! [laughing]

1793
01:27:08.625 --> 01:27:09.667
- Can I just go for it?

1794
01:27:09.667 --> 01:27:11.750
The rock star, the surf's up,
the devil's advocate,

1795
01:27:11.750 --> 01:27:14.542
the Spock, the reverse Spock,
the scissors beats paper,

1796
01:27:14.542 --> 01:27:16.125
the sideways dancing man.

1797
01:27:17.708 --> 01:27:19.958
Today's episode is brought to you
by the letter G.

1798
01:27:19.958 --> 01:27:23.292
What's up, G?
I'll email you a list.

1799
01:27:23.292 --> 01:27:26.375
[laughter, indistinct shouting]

1800
01:27:26.375 --> 01:27:28.500
- Oh, my God,
I can't believe it's working!

1801
01:27:30.000 --> 01:27:32.417
- There's a microphone under there.
[laughing]

1802
01:27:32.417 --> 01:27:37.250
[kids speaking nonsense, laughing]

1803
01:27:40.500 --> 01:27:44.250
- Do you know, Deb's batteries
are all in her vibrators, so...

1804
01:27:44.250 --> 01:27:46.292
do you think she's gonna take those out
and put it in the remote?

1805
01:27:46.292 --> 01:27:47.458
I don't think so.

1806
01:27:47.458 --> 01:27:49.500
[crew laughing]

1807
01:27:49.500 --> 01:27:52.792
- Piña Colada. Such a complex flavor.

1808
01:27:52.792 --> 01:27:54.375
- Tastes like sunscreen.

1809
01:27:55.250 --> 01:27:57.708
I licked it again, what is wrong with me?

1810
01:27:57.708 --> 01:28:00.333
- Even Hemingway fucked it up
on the first go.

1811
01:28:00.333 --> 01:28:02.208
Cut yourself-- Oh, I said "fuck."

1812
01:28:02.208 --> 01:28:04.250
Is this a fuck production?

1813
01:28:04.250 --> 01:28:07.375
- Sexual intimacy is
something to be gained.

1814
01:28:07.958 --> 01:28:09.500
KIM: That's beautiful, sweetheart.

1815
01:28:12.042 --> 01:28:14.833
- Why are you so far away from me?
I have a short arm.

1816
01:28:14.833 --> 01:28:17.583
- Uggh! Uggh! Uggh!

1817
01:28:17.583 --> 01:28:18.708
Ohh!

1818
01:28:18.708 --> 01:28:20.917
Uggh!

1819
01:28:20.917 --> 01:28:22.500
DIRECTOR: Good timing.

1820
01:28:22.500 --> 01:28:24.375
- That got really close that time.

1821
01:28:24.375 --> 01:28:26.208
- Yeah. It looked good though.
- I'm really sorry.

1822
01:28:26.208 --> 01:28:28.500
- Were you not entertained?

1823
01:28:29.417 --> 01:28:31.500
So now while you are here...

1824
01:28:32.458 --> 01:28:34.042
fuckin' love...

1825
01:28:34.042 --> 01:28:35.167
[crew laughing]

1826
01:28:35.167 --> 01:28:36.958
- Okay, so we'll follow the same protocol

1827
01:28:36.958 --> 01:28:38.625
as all-ov-our previous experiments--

1828
01:28:38.625 --> 01:28:39.917
- [laughs] Oh, yeah?

1829
01:28:39.917 --> 01:28:41.125
- I'm sorry.

1830
01:28:41.125 --> 01:28:42.583
- Oh, yeah?

1831
01:28:42.583 --> 01:28:44.500
[laughing]

1832
01:28:44.500 --> 01:28:47.167
Say it again.
[mimicking] "As all-ov-our..."

1833
01:28:47.167 --> 01:28:50.417
Ha, ha!
Sorry. Blooper reel.

1834
01:28:50.417 --> 01:28:52.125
- I think it went well.
- Pretty good.

1835
01:28:52.125 --> 01:28:53.625
- It didn't feel good,
but I think it was good.

1836
01:28:53.625 --> 01:28:54.875
- Yes.
- Yes.

1837
01:28:54.875 --> 01:28:56.208
[crew laughing]

1838
01:28:56.208 --> 01:28:57.583
DIRECTOR: Cut! Great.

1839
01:29:00.083 --> 01:29:02.208
♪ romantic ballad playing ♪

1840
01:29:05.333 --> 01:29:07.208
<i>♪ Sometimes ♪</i>

1841
01:29:07.208 --> 01:29:10.417
<i>♪ Two people in love aren't meant to be ♪</i>

1842
01:29:10.417 --> 01:29:12.875
<i>♪ Because sometimes ♪</i>

1843
01:29:12.875 --> 01:29:15.625
<i>♪ They can't give each other</i>
<i>what they need ♪</i>

1844
01:29:15.625 --> 01:29:17.125
<i>♪ For them to be happy ♪</i>

1845
01:29:17.125 --> 01:29:21.417
<i>♪ Because happy</i>
<i>isn't just a one-way street ♪</i>

1846
01:29:21.417 --> 01:29:24.375
<i>♪ So before you go ♪</i>

1847
01:29:24.375 --> 01:29:27.167
<i>♪ I hope you know ♪</i>

1848
01:29:27.167 --> 01:29:29.917
<i>♪ That I wish you all the best ♪</i>

1849
01:29:29.917 --> 01:29:31.625
<i>♪ I hope you fly like a bird ♪</i>

1850
01:29:31.625 --> 01:29:33.583
<i>♪ Who can finally leave the nest ♪</i>

1851
01:29:33.583 --> 01:29:36.458
<i>♪ I cannot wait to see ♪</i>

1852
01:29:36.458 --> 01:29:38.792
<i>♪ When you are happy ♪</i>

1853
01:29:38.792 --> 01:29:42.500
<i>♪ Though the world of us</i>
<i>is just a memory ♪</i>

1854
01:29:43.250 --> 01:29:48.667
<i>♪ After a while, I hope you'd smile</i>
<i>if you remember me ♪</i>

1855
01:29:48.667 --> 01:29:51.333
<i>♪ That I don't want to forget ♪</i>

1856
01:29:51.333 --> 01:29:55.083
<i>♪ I can't regret anything ♪</i>

1857
01:29:55.083 --> 01:29:56.125
<i>♪ At all ♪</i>

1858
01:29:58.667 --> 01:30:00.708
<i>♪ I wish you all the best ♪</i>

1859
01:30:00.708 --> 01:30:02.375
<i>♪ I hope that you get the world ♪</i>

1860
01:30:02.375 --> 01:30:04.167
<i>♪ And you're given all the rest ♪</i>

1861
01:30:04.167 --> 01:30:07.250
<i>♪ I cannot wait to see ♪</i>

1862
01:30:07.250 --> 01:30:10.125
<i>♪ When you are happy ♪</i>

1863
01:30:10.125 --> 01:30:12.000
<i>♪ I wish you all the best ♪</i>

1864
01:30:12.000 --> 01:30:13.625
<i>♪ I hope you fly like a bird ♪</i>

1865
01:30:13.625 --> 01:30:15.500
<i>♪ Who can finally leave the nest ♪</i>

1866
01:30:15.500 --> 01:30:18.208
<i>♪ I cannot wait to see ♪</i>

1867
01:30:18.208 --> 01:30:21.333
<i>♪ When you are happy ♪</i>

1868
01:30:21.333 --> 01:30:23.333
♪





