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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[crowd murmuring]
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EMCEE:
Welcome to STEMCON...
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[applause]
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...the biggest science, technology,
engineering and mathematics competition
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of the year.
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Now, welcome to the stage
our reigning champion,
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sure to dazzle us yet again,
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Ms. Avery Hansen-White.
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[cheering]
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STUDENT: Go, Avery!
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AVERY: I might not have been standing
naked in front of this audience,
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but, trust me, this was
my absolute worst nightmare.
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Let me back up a bit.
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♪ upbeat music playing ♪
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I thought I had it all figured out.
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♪ I'm amazing! ♪
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I had a record-breaking GPA,
an impeccable résumé,
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and an early acceptance to MIT,
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with a side of full ride.
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♪ Who you lookin' at? ♪
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I don't want to say I ruled the school,
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but I ruled the school.
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STUDENT: Whoa!
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AVERY: And not because I cared about
fitting in with the popular crowd
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or finding a hot date to prom.
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Eff all that.
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STEMCON was my prom.
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Hello, girlfriends.
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The national STEM competition
was the event of the year
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and wining the senior year competition
is the holy grail.
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You win a fellowship
that basically sets you up for life.
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Everyone was rooting for me except...
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Carlson.
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- Hey, Avery.
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AVERY: But she teaches sex ed,
which doesn't count.
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STUDENT: Avery's here.
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[indistinct conversation]
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- Today is the day.
- Ooh!
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- Ah, there she is.
- God, what a power couple.
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Got a perfect score on his SAT.
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- He is a perfect score.
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And trust me, his brain is huge.
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AVERY: Here it comes, here it is!
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[computer beeps]
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[rhythmic fanfare plays]
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- Hey, hey, STEMMERS,
are you excited? I am.
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Former STEMCON champ Nada Raj here,
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coming at you
with this year's STEM challenge.
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Now I know at this moment
you're all at the edge of your seats,
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anxiously awaiting this year's prom,
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so, without further ado, here it is.
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Create an app...
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- Oh, my God, it's your thing!
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- ...that solves a problem
in your personal life.
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- Oh, my God, you are so
gonna win STEMCON again.
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MIT, Nobel Peace.
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Look out, world,
here comes Avery Hansen-White!
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So, you must have concepts
flooding your mind.
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- Oh, yeah. No, they sure are.
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- Like what? Like what?
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NADA:
Here's a chance to prove your mettle
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at the nation's greatest
science competition.
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We'll see you and your
life-improving app in a month.
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Get ready, get set...
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make like an apple and STEM!
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STUDENT: Avery?
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[school bell ringing]
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Hello?
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So... what's the story?
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- Oh, uh, STEMCON.
- Oh, they announced the challenge?
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- Yeah. I basically have to create an app
to solve a problem in my personal life.
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- Ooh, maybe you should start
by having one.
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AVERY: Hmm.
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This is Larson.
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[blows raspberry]
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We've been friends
basically our whole lives.
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- I have a bootiful and powerful vagina.
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This is my vulvar,
up dare is my cervakicks.
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- [chuckles]
This is my pee-pee! Waaah!
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AVERY: While he didn't share my passion
for scientific precision...
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- I'm in the ocean!
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AVERY: ... he was always game to be
the subject of my experiments.
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While I was setting
the academic bar for our peers,
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he was giving the assist.
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I was breaking records
and publishing research...
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- You did it!
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- ...he was taking one for the team.
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Until freshman year when
our experimenting came to a hard stop.
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- Oh!
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AVERY: We decided to retire
our scholarly partnership
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and just be friends.
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- Sorry.
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- Cute.
- Shut up.
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Some of us experience
attraction to other humans.
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- Yeah, and for some of us,
attraction is sapiosexual.
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- Wha...
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- Intellectual.
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- Right, like with your imaginary
science camp boyfriend?
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- Yes. Casper does my brain
like no one else.
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You know he speaks fluent Vulcan?
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- Vulcan? Why not learn a useful language
like Latin or Chinese?
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- What do you mean, Mandarin or Cantonese?
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Doesn't matter, he actually speaks both.
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And there's actually a petition
circulating to make Vulcan
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the eighth romance language,
so knock it off.
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- Are you taking him to prom?
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- Prom? Are you kidding?
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- No.
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- Do you really think prom
is on my list of priorities?
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- No. That's my point.
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You never do any
of the regular high school stuff.
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You need to have fun.
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- Nailing life is fun for me, Larson.
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- We're seniors, and you still have
never been to a school dance.
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Now, we both know you don't
do things you're not great at,
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which makes me think you can't dance.
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- Oh, I could dance if I wanted to,
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but it won't win me a Nobel Prize.
121
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- Okay, so go to nerd prom with Casper
and go to fun prom with me.
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- Go to prom with you. Oh, no.
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- Come on.
Senior single scene is dire.
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Everyone's all coupled up.
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- Well, why don't you ask that cute girl
who melted your brain seconds ago?
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- She didn't melt my brain.
Besides, I have zero ins.
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You, you're my oldest friend.
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And next year, you'll be far away.
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It's the end of an era.
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Let's do prom.
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It's like a rite of passage.
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- That's really sweet, Larson,
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but if you wanna do prom, you should
ask someone who would enjoy it.
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[scoffs]
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Just more concerned with academic
milestones than superfluous ones.
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[Larson scoffs]
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- It's a rough one.
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- Yeah.
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[school bell rings]
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AVERY: I had 33 days to create
an app for STEMCON.
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I never had a shortage of ideas,
but I had already optimized my life
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so there were no areas of weakness.
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There was nothing to improve.
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Give me global warming,
give me world hunger.
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But a personal problem?
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♪ ringtone playing ♪
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- Hey.
- So, 33 days.
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- Yeah. You, me, STEMCON.
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- STEMCON nights.
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- It's like we chose
the challenge ourselves.
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- I cannot wait for you to see
what I've been working with.
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You?
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- Yeah. I, uh...
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got some aces up my sleeve.
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- I've got an ace in my pants.
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- What?
- Uh, I'm...
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I'm saying, uh,
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we have a lot of experimenting to do.
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- Oh. Should I organize a control group?
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- Avery...
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We've been dating for a while now.
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I'm DTF.
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Babe, down to fuck.
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- Oh.
165
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- Babe?
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00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,042
Babe, I think you froze.
167
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- Uh...
- Is it me? What...?
168
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- Uh...
- Babe?
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You there?
Do we have a bad connection here?
170
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What's going on?
171
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- Oh, thank God.
172
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It's not like I was scared of sex.
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I was raised in a progressive family.
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But I just was not prepared for this.
Let me explain.
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WOMAN 1: How are you feeling?
WOMAN 2: Yes, how are you feeling?
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WOMAN 1: Name your feelings by name.
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Do you understand what's going on?
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- These are my moms.
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Mama Suze is a steadfast lesbo,
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and Ma Deb is an artist,
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00:08:05,208 --> 00:08:07,958
renowned for vulvic art that would
make Georgia O'Keeffe blush.
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- We still love you.
183
00:08:09,875 --> 00:08:11,292
- So much.
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00:08:11,292 --> 00:08:13,083
- And that's Kim, my bonus mom.
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She doesn't do labels,
but she does do Ma Deb.
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- And you can live with whoever you want.
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- I'm going to split my time 50-50
so as to reduce the burden on all.
188
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- Ohh!
189
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AVERY:
I have no shortage of maternal support,
190
00:08:27,833 --> 00:08:32,042
but they weren't exactly the ones
to turn to for advice on sex with men.
191
00:08:34,125 --> 00:08:37,458
- Don't you think you'll feel better
if you just tell me?
192
00:08:37,458 --> 00:08:39,375
- No, 'cause you'll just tell Ma Deb.
193
00:08:39,375 --> 00:08:41,583
- Would you prefer I guess?
194
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- [scoffs] Yeah. Good luck there.
195
00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:46,750
- You and Casper are ready to have sex.
196
00:08:47,958 --> 00:08:49,458
- How did you know?
197
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:51,625
- A mother always knows.
198
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Hulu recommended 40-Year-Old Virgin
and Wet Hot American Summer.
199
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- Damn algorithms.
200
00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:03,250
- Listen, you shouldn't feel pressured
to do this if you don't want to.
201
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:05,375
- Okay, I know that,
202
00:09:05,375 --> 00:09:08,333
but... I want to.
203
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:10,792
- Okay.
204
00:09:12,417 --> 00:09:14,833
What have you two explored so far?
205
00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:18,000
Kissing?
206
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,458
Probably kissing.
207
00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,125
But like anywhere...
208
00:09:23,042 --> 00:09:25,250
other than the mouth?
209
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:27,583
- Oh.
210
00:09:28,292 --> 00:09:29,375
Um...
211
00:09:29,375 --> 00:09:33,083
No, but I haven't seen him
since last year's STEM, so...
212
00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:34,292
- Okay.
213
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:37,083
- God, I can't be bad at this.
214
00:09:37,083 --> 00:09:40,875
- This is not the time
to be a perfectionist.
215
00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:43,708
Sex is supposed to be messy.
216
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:46,208
It's fun.
- Oh, my God.
217
00:09:46,208 --> 00:09:47,750
I'm gonna blow.
218
00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:50,708
- You blow whatever
you're comfortable with.
219
00:09:50,708 --> 00:09:54,458
Head, shoulders... knees and toes.
220
00:09:54,458 --> 00:09:56,208
- I can blow his mind.
- Mm-hmm.
221
00:09:56,208 --> 00:09:59,667
- I mean, we have
these braingasms together.
222
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,458
- [softly] Braingasms.
223
00:10:02,667 --> 00:10:05,083
I'm gonna call Dr. Dwight
224
00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:08,167
to make an appointment
to talk about birth control.
225
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:10,750
- I'm not even having sex.
- But you're thinking about it.
226
00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:13,292
- No, you're thinking about it.
227
00:10:13,292 --> 00:10:15,792
- Oh, okay...
228
00:10:15,792 --> 00:10:17,042
[door closes]
229
00:10:17,042 --> 00:10:18,875
[line ringing]
230
00:10:18,875 --> 00:10:20,500
She's on the move.
231
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:23,708
♪ energetic music playing ♪
232
00:10:23,708 --> 00:10:25,375
[murmuring to self]
233
00:10:34,958 --> 00:10:37,458
- Oh, Jesus!
- We got a lot of options.
234
00:10:37,458 --> 00:10:39,417
- Yes.
- Ribbed, lubed, flavored.
235
00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:41,083
[laughs] Piña colada.
236
00:10:41,083 --> 00:10:43,208
Such a complex flavor. Delicious.
237
00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:44,292
[gulps]
238
00:10:44,292 --> 00:10:45,625
- Tastes like sunscreen.
239
00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:48,250
- You don't have to do
anything you don't wanna do.
240
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:49,458
- Can we not do this?
241
00:10:49,458 --> 00:10:53,333
- We just want you to remember that
your body is perfect the way that it is,
242
00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:54,875
especially your labia.
243
00:10:56,375 --> 00:10:57,792
As far as I remember.
244
00:10:58,292 --> 00:11:00,458
- She's just worried
you'll start judging your body
245
00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:02,292
the second you're in the presence
of a naked man.
246
00:11:02,292 --> 00:11:05,833
- Uh, the damage is already done.
247
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,208
I've been comparing my hoo-ha
248
00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:11,250
to the country's top-rated snatch
for the last decade.
249
00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:14,375
- We do not use that word
in this house, young lady.
250
00:11:14,375 --> 00:11:16,417
- Take back the snatch.
No snatch talk, Ave.
251
00:11:16,417 --> 00:11:18,333
- It's "hoo-ha" she knows I can't stand.
252
00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:21,042
- Hoo-ha.
- Words like that promote vagina shame.
253
00:11:21,042 --> 00:11:22,750
- Mm, ashamed of my lady parts?
254
00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,750
- Hmm-mm.
- My cookie? My wittle kitty?
255
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,958
- Stop it right now.
- My hot dog bun?
256
00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:28,792
My sprinkler?
- Pink taco.
257
00:11:28,792 --> 00:11:31,125
- Wrong team, Kim.
- That's right.
258
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:33,833
- You guys have no idea what it's like
to lose your virginity.
259
00:11:34,458 --> 00:11:35,708
- Yes, we do.
- Sure, we do.
260
00:11:35,708 --> 00:11:39,333
- How? How would you define
when exactly that happened?
261
00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:44,042
Because if someone finger-bangs me,
that's a measly second base.
262
00:11:44,042 --> 00:11:45,917
- Only second?
[Avery groans]
263
00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:47,958
[scoffs] Not the way I do it.
264
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:49,542
[door slams]
- Hmm, touchdown.
265
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,583
- No sports.
266
00:11:51,833 --> 00:11:55,167
AVERY: How was I supposed to get
great at sex by STEMCON?
267
00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:57,375
The thing is, Larson was right.
268
00:11:57,375 --> 00:11:59,500
I don't do things I'm not great at.
269
00:12:00,208 --> 00:12:02,542
I just have to master it,
like everything else in my life.
270
00:12:03,208 --> 00:12:06,667
Avery Hansen-White can do
anything she puts her mind to.
271
00:12:06,667 --> 00:12:08,667
♪
272
00:12:20,458 --> 00:12:23,708
[softly] "Get good at sex."
273
00:12:35,417 --> 00:12:36,625
That's it.
274
00:12:37,292 --> 00:12:41,042
Utilizing AI, I could create an algorithm
that would take the data
275
00:12:41,042 --> 00:12:43,917
and prescribe steps
for a successful sexual experience.
276
00:12:43,917 --> 00:12:47,542
I... I'd have my app and be prepared
for STEM night with Casper.
277
00:12:47,542 --> 00:12:49,542
This was a win-win.
278
00:12:50,375 --> 00:12:52,250
My app would have a dictation feature,
279
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:56,583
so I programmed the AI
to sound like the sexiest of voices.
280
00:12:56,583 --> 00:12:59,333
SPOCK-LIKE VOICE: Greetings.
Dictation feature is ready.
281
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:01,167
AVERY: Spock, of course.
282
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:04,208
I trained Spock to scan
all corners of the Web
283
00:13:04,208 --> 00:13:06,458
for information regarding sex.
284
00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:12,542
Spock, how does one have good sex?
285
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:16,833
SPOCK: Based on current data,
good sex is achieved by
286
00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:20,208
butt plug, choking, stepmom, dick out...
287
00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:21,958
- Ow!
SPOCK: ...naughty gorilla,
288
00:13:21,958 --> 00:13:23,375
squirting, yoga pants--
289
00:13:23,375 --> 00:13:25,667
AVERY:
I needed to refine the search.
290
00:13:25,667 --> 00:13:27,417
What better resource to turn to
291
00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:29,250
than the collective
high-school wisdom of the ages?
292
00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:31,750
MAN: Like this!
[audience laughing, gasping]
293
00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:34,167
- So this is what people watch.
294
00:13:34,167 --> 00:13:38,792
SPOCK: Based on available data,
good sex is achieved by boobs, flashing...
295
00:13:38,792 --> 00:13:41,792
MAMA SUZE: Everything okay in there?
- What? No, everything's fine.
296
00:13:41,792 --> 00:13:44,542
SPOCK: ...boobs, kegger, pie...
297
00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:47,292
AVERY: Apparently Hollywood
was not the best source either.
298
00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:50,542
I hated to do it,
but I have to revisit sex ed.
299
00:13:50,542 --> 00:13:54,333
- Mycoplasma, genitaliums,
the new chlamydia.
300
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,958
May I help you, Ms. Hansen-White?
301
00:13:55,958 --> 00:13:58,542
- I'm collecting sources in preparation
for losing my virginity.
302
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:00,458
- Oh.
303
00:14:01,458 --> 00:14:04,583
SPOCK: G-spot, premarital sex,
burn in hell...
304
00:14:04,583 --> 00:14:05,875
- I know it's not in the manual,
305
00:14:05,875 --> 00:14:09,208
but I could use a little tutorial
on the mechanics of the clitoris.
306
00:14:09,208 --> 00:14:12,125
- I cannot tell you
how to pleasure yourself.
307
00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:14,750
Ask your parents.
You have three months.
308
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:17,250
AVERY:
Clearly sex ed wasn't the answer.
309
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:19,000
I was back to the drawing board.
310
00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:21,417
What would I tell Casper?
[phone buzzing]
311
00:14:21,417 --> 00:14:23,000
I had made no progress.
312
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:26,667
Research was consuming my life.
313
00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:29,250
The rest of my studies
were starting to slip.
314
00:14:30,208 --> 00:14:34,125
I know you're new here,
so perhaps you didn't find value
315
00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:38,875
in my argument that Romeo and Juliet
had total control over their tragic fate
316
00:14:38,875 --> 00:14:42,083
and rather chose to weaken themselves
to adolescent impulse.
317
00:14:42,083 --> 00:14:43,583
SPOCK: Booty, butt cheeks...
318
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,958
- Logic is the beginning of wisdom,
not the end.
319
00:14:46,958 --> 00:14:48,125
- Yeah, I...
320
00:14:48,792 --> 00:14:50,208
get that you were quoting Spock.
321
00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:51,750
SPOCK: Slap my ass!
322
00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:54,042
- And it's clear that you
understood the text,
323
00:14:54,042 --> 00:14:56,333
but you missed that fundamental thing.
324
00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:57,458
They were in love.
325
00:14:57,458 --> 00:14:58,542
[scoffs]
326
00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:02,208
Avery, I'm sorry, the grade stands.
327
00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:06,375
[school bell rings]
- I don't have time for this right now.
328
00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:08,375
But this isn't over.
329
00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:15,708
♪ ringtone playing ♪
330
00:15:25,917 --> 00:15:27,417
- Good morning.
331
00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:28,708
[Avery groans]
332
00:15:28,708 --> 00:15:31,750
[laughs] Wanna start
by naming your feelings?
333
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:35,042
- It's like my brain just froze
and now I can't even talk to him.
334
00:15:35,042 --> 00:15:37,167
You know, like he just wants
to Google hang,
335
00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:39,958
and all I can think about is,
what does his penis look like?
336
00:15:39,958 --> 00:15:41,958
- Totally normal.
337
00:15:41,958 --> 00:15:44,292
I mean, normal to think that.
338
00:15:44,292 --> 00:15:47,500
[laughs] I don't know
if his penis is normal.
339
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:49,667
You know what, how about a book?
340
00:15:49,667 --> 00:15:52,417
I might have a copy
of Fifty Shades of Grey.
341
00:15:52,417 --> 00:15:55,042
- Eww. They should have called it
Fifty Shades of Grammatical Error.
342
00:15:55,042 --> 00:15:56,958
The books are moot, trust me.
343
00:15:56,958 --> 00:16:00,167
Which is why I fed my AI
all these teen sex comedies,
344
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:03,250
but those are all just like
these horny boys humping pie or...
345
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:04,875
- How about a Molly Ringwald flick?
346
00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:08,083
Hmm, Ma Deb had a thing
for her, let me tell you.
347
00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:10,958
I had this red wig and--
- Please don't.
348
00:16:10,958 --> 00:16:14,375
- Okay.
- No. All of her movies end at the kiss.
349
00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:17,875
Movies talk to girls
about falling in love,
350
00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:19,167
not having sex.
351
00:16:19,167 --> 00:16:22,375
How do I get an accurate representation
of the actual experience?
352
00:16:22,375 --> 00:16:25,333
- Well, why not ask
your friends for advice?
353
00:16:25,333 --> 00:16:27,417
- Hmm, Ms. Russell doesn't know
anything about boys.
354
00:16:27,417 --> 00:16:30,583
- Okay, I meant your fellow students.
355
00:16:30,583 --> 00:16:33,333
- You know, I knew you
wouldn't be any help.
356
00:16:33,875 --> 00:16:35,917
I should be collecting data
from my fellow students.
357
00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:39,750
- Well, I'm glad I couldn't help.
[school bell rings]
358
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:42,750
AVERY: Prompted by absolutely
nothing Mama Suze said,
359
00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:44,500
I decided the best course of action
360
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:47,708
was to crowd-source
the necessary intel from my peers.
361
00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:51,042
- Do you consent to the recording
of this conversation for the purpose
of data collection?
362
00:16:51,042 --> 00:16:53,375
- Um... sure, why not?
363
00:16:53,375 --> 00:16:55,917
- You see, chicks like
their asses slapped.
364
00:16:55,917 --> 00:16:59,000
And if they're making lots of noise,
you know they're super into it.
365
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,958
- The louder they are,
the more they want it.
366
00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:03,125
- Um, I haven't had sex yet.
367
00:17:03,125 --> 00:17:06,958
- But cheerleaders are the most
sexually exploited of all the sports,
368
00:17:06,958 --> 00:17:09,833
and therefore the most common object
of pursuit for your male classmates.
369
00:17:09,833 --> 00:17:11,667
How are you not getting laid all the time?
370
00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:14,250
- I'm not discussing anything
of a sexual nature,
371
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:19,042
but by saying the word "sexual" just now,
I did not mean to imply anything sexual.
372
00:17:19,042 --> 00:17:21,167
- Sex just isn't a priority for me.
373
00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:23,375
- Is that like code for "super Christian"?
374
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:27,208
- No, and despite what you've seen on TV,
we're not ruled by our libidos.
375
00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:29,167
- Now my fave go-to is the titty fuck.
376
00:17:29,167 --> 00:17:30,167
- Oh!
377
00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:32,250
- Squeeze 'em together... pow, pow, pow.
- Yes!
378
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:34,917
- So, have either of you ever
so much as kissed a girl?
379
00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:37,667
- I'm working on it.
380
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:39,375
- You're an exquisite physical specimen.
381
00:17:39,375 --> 00:17:41,833
How are you not putting
those moves to good use?
382
00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:43,958
- Because I'm not Danica McCallum.
383
00:17:43,958 --> 00:17:45,333
- I'm saving myself for Danica.
384
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:48,333
- Yeah, babe, you know
what the fuck is going on!
385
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:51,292
- [straining] Why don't you just
talk to Danica?
386
00:17:51,292 --> 00:17:53,917
- Danica, Danica, Danica! Oh, Danica!
387
00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,042
AVERY:
Who was this mysterious sex goddess?
388
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,500
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
389
00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:12,750
Danica...
390
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,375
Effin...
391
00:18:14,375 --> 00:18:15,625
McCallum.
392
00:18:15,625 --> 00:18:17,250
♪ They call me Miss Independence... ♪
393
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:20,667
- Jared, you're supposed to come
from stage left, you dumb fuck.
394
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:25,333
AVERY: If I was Frodo,
Danica was to be my Gandalf.
395
00:18:26,042 --> 00:18:27,500
- I've come.
396
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:30,583
- Yeah, that's definitely
the vibe you put out there.
397
00:18:30,583 --> 00:18:33,583
She was a mecca of sexual knowledge.
398
00:18:33,583 --> 00:18:37,208
She'd been with several types of guys
of every religious background.
399
00:18:37,208 --> 00:18:39,167
She'd seen so much cock,
400
00:18:39,167 --> 00:18:41,375
she actually had a preference
on length and girth.
401
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:45,875
- I like a solid 5-and-a-half inches with
4-and-one-quarter centimeters in diameter.
402
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:49,167
That's about half a centimeter
larger than my vaginal canal
403
00:18:49,167 --> 00:18:50,833
so there's, like,
the right amount of pressure.
404
00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:53,708
What are you working with, like, 4 to 5?
405
00:18:54,583 --> 00:18:55,917
- I don't know.
406
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:59,333
- Well, you gotta know.
Report back with measurements.
407
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:00,583
Now let's talk Kegels.
408
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:06,250
Okay, pretend like you're peeing
and you wanna stop that pee.
409
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,417
So clench.
410
00:19:08,708 --> 00:19:10,625
Not your face but the cooch.
411
00:19:11,375 --> 00:19:13,167
It's not supposed to hurt. Breathe.
412
00:19:14,458 --> 00:19:16,833
Hold. Relax the face.
413
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:18,083
Clench the cooter.
414
00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:20,125
And... release.
415
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:21,292
[exhales softly]
416
00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:23,167
Yeah, you gotta keep that shit tight
417
00:19:23,167 --> 00:19:25,167
or you're gonna need
a big dick for the rest of your life.
418
00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:28,125
And trust me, those are hard to come by.
419
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,250
- Wow.
420
00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:31,333
- Have you selected a fuck buddy yet?
421
00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:34,208
- Excuse me?
- Somebody to practice fuck.
422
00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:35,792
- Oh, no, I have a boyfriend.
423
00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:38,125
- This is for his benefit too.
424
00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:41,167
Look into it. This kind of
arrangement's quite equitable.
425
00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:49,125
[exhales]
426
00:19:49,125 --> 00:19:51,125
♪
427
00:20:02,625 --> 00:20:04,333
- ...data and...
428
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:06,708
Spock, how does one have good sex?
429
00:20:07,542 --> 00:20:10,625
SPOCK: Based on current data,
good sex is achieved by
430
00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:12,750
Kegels, titty fuck,
431
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:15,500
giving Danica McCallum a blow job.
432
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:20,292
♪
433
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,958
- Hey, Spock, uh...
434
00:20:27,958 --> 00:20:31,500
what are the moral stances
on using a practice partner
435
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:34,083
to enhance the experience
for the actual partner?
436
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,458
SPOCK: Fuck nuts. Toilet face.
437
00:20:37,458 --> 00:20:40,208
- ♪ ...all I did is cry ♪
438
00:20:41,667 --> 00:20:44,167
♪ And I just can't take it no more ♪
439
00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:47,042
- ♪ What are you waiting for? ♪
[Larson sighs]
440
00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:48,417
♪ Just wanna try... ♪
441
00:20:48,417 --> 00:20:50,958
LARSON: [softly]
Like your guitar. Is that yours?
442
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,500
Yes, of course it's hers.
Is that original?
443
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:55,917
- Hey, Larson! Hey!
444
00:20:55,917 --> 00:20:58,792
I need you to come over to my house and
hook up with me every day after school.
445
00:20:58,792 --> 00:20:59,875
[student gasps]
446
00:20:59,875 --> 00:21:01,042
- What?
- Yeah.
447
00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:03,792
You, me, sex stuff.
Are you in or are you out?
448
00:21:03,792 --> 00:21:04,958
- O... kay.
449
00:21:07,208 --> 00:21:09,583
- Yes, no? I'm... What are we...?
450
00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:14,167
- What are you talking about?
451
00:21:14,792 --> 00:21:16,875
- Oh, I'm gonna see Casper at STEMCON,
452
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:19,542
which is at a hotel where we're
going to be staying in hotel rooms,
453
00:21:19,542 --> 00:21:22,000
and he's gonna wanna do sex stuff,
454
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,958
and, you know, I've never done it
and I don't want to embarrass myself,
455
00:21:25,958 --> 00:21:29,542
so, I need someone to practice with
in a safe and exploratory environment,
456
00:21:29,542 --> 00:21:32,292
and since you and I have a history
of experimentation
457
00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:34,500
and scientific rapport, I chose you.
458
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,750
- Ah! Thank you.
459
00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:38,083
- Yeah, you're welcome.
460
00:21:39,208 --> 00:21:41,750
Where are you...
Where are you going?
461
00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:42,958
Could you slow down, please?
462
00:21:42,958 --> 00:21:45,292
Okay, these are the things I need
to try and/or get better at.
463
00:21:45,292 --> 00:21:47,917
Kissing, fondling, hand jobs,
blow jobs, fingering.
464
00:21:47,917 --> 00:21:49,958
I wrote "butt stuff"
but then I crossed that out,
465
00:21:49,958 --> 00:21:51,958
dry humping and, hey,
that sounds like...
466
00:21:51,958 --> 00:21:53,833
- Whoa, whoa, hey, slow down!
467
00:21:54,875 --> 00:21:55,958
Seriously?
468
00:21:56,417 --> 00:21:58,917
You fired me when I even got
remotely close to you.
469
00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:00,417
- Oh! You Afterschool Special' d me.
470
00:22:00,417 --> 00:22:02,958
- I was 14 and I was trying to kiss you.
471
00:22:02,958 --> 00:22:04,000
- By groping me!
472
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,542
- I grazed your boob, it's a move,
473
00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:09,792
one I admit I executed poorly,
but I was nervous.
474
00:22:09,792 --> 00:22:11,333
It was my first almost kiss
475
00:22:11,333 --> 00:22:13,708
and you friend zone'd the shit out of me.
476
00:22:13,708 --> 00:22:16,208
So hard! You sent me to friend jail.
477
00:22:16,958 --> 00:22:19,167
- Well, I'm letting you out on parole
478
00:22:19,167 --> 00:22:22,417
if you return to your position
as my test subject in this venture.
479
00:22:22,417 --> 00:22:24,292
- How is this not cheating
on your boyfriend?
480
00:22:24,292 --> 00:22:25,500
- No, I looked into it.
481
00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:27,542
This arrangement,
it's actually quite common.
482
00:22:27,542 --> 00:22:29,208
And let's be real,
how can I be exclusive
483
00:22:29,208 --> 00:22:30,750
with someone I've never
done anything with?
484
00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:34,958
So as long as we don't have sex
and there's no intimate feelings,
485
00:22:34,958 --> 00:22:35,958
it's fair play.
486
00:22:36,917 --> 00:22:38,458
- Technically it's foreplay.
487
00:22:39,417 --> 00:22:41,125
- That's bad.
- Yeah.
488
00:22:41,125 --> 00:22:42,167
So?
489
00:22:42,167 --> 00:22:44,042
- I can't sexualize you.
490
00:22:44,042 --> 00:22:46,458
I respect you too much for your brain,
491
00:22:46,458 --> 00:22:48,667
for your independence, for...
492
00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:50,583
My God.
- Oh.
493
00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:53,500
- Hmm?
STUDENT: Look away, look away.
494
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:56,458
- So are you in?
- I can't believe you just did that.
495
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:58,875
- Well, it proved to be an effective
cinematic tactic across genres.
496
00:22:59,958 --> 00:23:03,083
- [sighs] It's definitely tempting.
497
00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:05,792
But, I-I... no.
498
00:23:05,792 --> 00:23:07,250
Cute girl looked at me today.
499
00:23:08,042 --> 00:23:09,292
I'm 90% sure.
500
00:23:09,292 --> 00:23:11,208
I'm laying track to ask her
to prom right now,
501
00:23:11,208 --> 00:23:14,042
and I really can't have anything
throwing a wrench in that plan.
502
00:23:14,625 --> 00:23:18,208
- Au contraire,
I'm offering you the multitool.
503
00:23:18,208 --> 00:23:20,458
Countless features
and mutually beneficial.
504
00:23:20,458 --> 00:23:23,542
I mean, if cute girl
ever fully looks at you,
505
00:23:23,542 --> 00:23:25,917
you wanna be ready on prom night, right?
506
00:23:29,333 --> 00:23:30,583
- Please don't blow this for me.
507
00:23:31,292 --> 00:23:33,583
- Technically I'll be blowing you.
- Avery!
508
00:23:34,083 --> 00:23:36,750
- Okay, your house, tomorrow, 3 p. m.
509
00:23:39,667 --> 00:23:40,708
Study that.
510
00:23:41,542 --> 00:23:43,000
[school bell rings]
511
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,375
- Why is "butt stuff"
before "dry humping"?
512
00:23:47,292 --> 00:23:50,292
- You know, so we'll follow the same
protocol as all our other experiments.
513
00:23:50,292 --> 00:23:54,583
And all the data will go straight
into the development of the AI,
514
00:23:54,583 --> 00:23:56,500
which I'll use to conceptualize my app,
515
00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:59,083
and then I've secured
my presentation for the challenge
516
00:23:59,083 --> 00:24:00,708
and prepared myself for STEM night,
517
00:24:00,708 --> 00:24:02,750
which, mind you, is in just 23 days.
518
00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:05,542
Questions?
- You sure you want to do this?
519
00:24:05,542 --> 00:24:06,833
For Casper?
520
00:24:06,833 --> 00:24:08,375
- For me.
521
00:24:08,375 --> 00:24:10,042
I may be a genius, but I imagine
522
00:24:10,042 --> 00:24:12,583
I'll enjoy sex as much as
any other young adult.
523
00:24:12,583 --> 00:24:13,625
- Okay then.
524
00:24:13,625 --> 00:24:16,250
Yeah, you seem to have mapped this
all out quite thoroughly.
525
00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:17,208
- Obviously.
526
00:24:17,208 --> 00:24:20,833
So, our objective is
to master sexual excellence
527
00:24:20,833 --> 00:24:24,167
by putting research
and physical skill into practice.
528
00:24:24,167 --> 00:24:25,833
- How?
529
00:24:25,833 --> 00:24:27,875
- Crowd sourcing
and simulating that information.
530
00:24:27,875 --> 00:24:29,458
- Cool. So I'm a simulator.
531
00:24:29,458 --> 00:24:32,333
Do I come with VR
or time travel capabilities?
532
00:24:32,333 --> 00:24:34,250
- Simulation can involve real people.
533
00:24:34,250 --> 00:24:37,833
- So I'm glad I'm a real person
as opposed to a non-real person.
534
00:24:37,833 --> 00:24:39,958
Are you a real person?
- Of course.
535
00:24:39,958 --> 00:24:42,292
Just with an advanced operating system.
536
00:24:43,333 --> 00:24:45,833
- I have a hypothesis for our experiment.
537
00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:48,833
- Hmm.
- Love is what makes a good lover.
538
00:24:48,833 --> 00:24:50,750
- Oh, well, I can already disprove that.
539
00:24:50,750 --> 00:24:53,917
[scoffs] Love and sex
are entirely different entities.
540
00:24:53,917 --> 00:24:56,083
- You don't think that love leads
to sex and vice versa?
541
00:24:56,083 --> 00:24:57,833
- Love is a choice.
- Right.
542
00:24:57,833 --> 00:24:59,250
- Right. Right.
- Right?
543
00:24:59,250 --> 00:25:00,417
- Right.
- Right.
544
00:25:00,417 --> 00:25:03,583
- So... first on the list. Kissing.
545
00:25:04,833 --> 00:25:06,833
Although perhaps
it should have been fondling.
546
00:25:07,583 --> 00:25:09,792
No. No, kissing. Kissing, right?
547
00:25:09,792 --> 00:25:11,667
- Okay, all right, I gotcha.
- That's right.
548
00:25:11,667 --> 00:25:14,125
- How's this to start, is this good?
549
00:25:14,125 --> 00:25:15,208
- Oh.
550
00:25:15,958 --> 00:25:17,917
Yeah, okay, good.
551
00:25:17,917 --> 00:25:19,208
Now kiss me.
552
00:25:19,208 --> 00:25:20,958
- You gonna sock me in the nuts?
553
00:25:20,958 --> 00:25:23,333
- I have a good reflex.
- Well, I need my nuts to work.
554
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,750
- Why would your nuts need
to work for kissing?
555
00:25:26,792 --> 00:25:27,833
- Never mind.
556
00:25:27,833 --> 00:25:30,333
On three, I'm going
to lean in and kiss you, okay?
557
00:25:30,333 --> 00:25:32,750
- Okay.
Here we go.
558
00:25:32,750 --> 00:25:33,958
[clears throat]
559
00:25:34,542 --> 00:25:37,125
One, two, three.
560
00:25:38,542 --> 00:25:40,792
Hmm. Turns out I'm a leftie.
561
00:25:40,792 --> 00:25:42,250
- Ah, yeah? All right.
562
00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:50,417
- Not bad.
563
00:25:50,417 --> 00:25:52,500
Okay. Tongue.
564
00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:54,250
- Sure.
- Cool.
565
00:25:54,250 --> 00:25:55,708
I'd like to scrape it first.
- [groans]
566
00:25:55,708 --> 00:25:57,583
Dead cells can get trapped
in the enlarged papillae.
567
00:25:57,583 --> 00:25:59,000
- Avery.
- It's gross. What?
568
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,500
- How about some music? Hmm?
569
00:26:01,500 --> 00:26:02,625
- Sure.
570
00:26:02,625 --> 00:26:04,167
[Larson clears throat]
571
00:26:10,875 --> 00:26:12,708
♪ funky '70s music playing ♪
572
00:26:15,958 --> 00:26:17,292
- What is this?
573
00:26:18,375 --> 00:26:19,708
- You don't like it?
574
00:26:20,875 --> 00:26:22,958
- No. It's not working for me.
575
00:26:23,708 --> 00:26:25,167
- Yep, yes.
576
00:26:27,792 --> 00:26:31,917
♪ ...from his lips as he tells me
he can't get enough... ♪
577
00:26:31,917 --> 00:26:33,958
- It's a little vampire love triangle,
isn't it?
578
00:26:33,958 --> 00:26:36,542
- Hmm, next.
- Yeah. It's not gonna...
579
00:26:40,958 --> 00:26:43,583
♪ Burl Ives singing
What Child is This? ♪
580
00:26:43,583 --> 00:26:45,458
- Larson, what is this?
581
00:26:45,458 --> 00:26:47,542
- In band, we play this
for the holiday concert.
582
00:26:47,542 --> 00:26:50,375
It's got a killer brass arrangement,
just wait for it.
583
00:26:50,375 --> 00:26:51,375
[horns blowing]
584
00:26:51,375 --> 00:26:53,708
- Forget it, it's fine, this is great.
It'll do.
585
00:26:53,708 --> 00:26:55,292
- Yeah, yeah, okay, all right. Yeah.
586
00:26:55,292 --> 00:26:56,667
Okay.
587
00:26:56,667 --> 00:26:58,000
[clears throat]
- Yeah.
588
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,167
[Larson clears throat]
589
00:26:59,167 --> 00:27:04,375
BURL IVES:
♪ On Mary's lap is sleeping ♪
590
00:27:04,375 --> 00:27:07,167
♪ Whom angels greet ♪
591
00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:09,458
♪ With anthems sweet... ♪
592
00:27:09,458 --> 00:27:11,042
- Hmm! Hmm-mm.
593
00:27:11,042 --> 00:27:12,167
Ow, my arm.
- Oh.
594
00:27:12,167 --> 00:27:14,917
- Sorry, my arm is a little stuck. Um...
- Sorry, sorry, yeah. Ah.
595
00:27:14,917 --> 00:27:16,542
Sorry, maybe we should...
Maybe, uh...
596
00:27:16,542 --> 00:27:18,875
Maybe we just lie here for a sec.
597
00:27:19,542 --> 00:27:21,500
- Yeah. [clears throat]
598
00:27:24,958 --> 00:27:26,167
[Larson clears throat]
599
00:27:31,542 --> 00:27:33,792
- [laughs] My building plan
for Fort Larson.
600
00:27:34,875 --> 00:27:37,125
LARSON: Oh, yeah.
Brilliant engineering on your part.
601
00:27:37,125 --> 00:27:38,875
AVERY: Epic construction on yours.
602
00:27:38,875 --> 00:27:40,250
- We made a good team.
603
00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:43,083
- Well, we had symbiosis.
604
00:27:43,083 --> 00:27:46,458
You're, uh... you're like
the Egyptian plover to my crocodile.
605
00:27:47,250 --> 00:27:48,625
- What's a plover?
606
00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:51,875
- Oh, it's like nature's dental assistant.
607
00:27:51,875 --> 00:27:55,750
It literally survives off the rot
it picks out of a crocodile's teeth.
608
00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:56,875
- What?
609
00:27:56,875 --> 00:28:00,250
Why am I a mouth stank-eating bird
instead of the crocodile?
610
00:28:00,250 --> 00:28:04,500
- Look, you're a bad-ass bird that lives
in the mouth of a Nile croc
611
00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:06,792
while simultaneously relieving tooth pain.
612
00:28:06,792 --> 00:28:08,125
Symbiosis.
613
00:28:08,708 --> 00:28:10,208
It's a... it's a win-win.
614
00:28:10,208 --> 00:28:12,625
- Yep. It's delicious.
615
00:28:13,833 --> 00:28:15,542
- Fine. You're the crocodile.
616
00:28:15,542 --> 00:28:17,333
- No, no, you're the crocodile.
617
00:28:17,958 --> 00:28:19,833
Saw that swamp tongue of yours.
618
00:28:22,417 --> 00:28:23,792
- Grab a boob.
619
00:28:23,792 --> 00:28:25,667
- Huh?
- Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
620
00:28:25,667 --> 00:28:26,958
Grab a boob.
621
00:28:26,958 --> 00:28:28,417
- Ah, wha... which one?
622
00:28:28,417 --> 00:28:30,333
- Just do it before I change my mind.
623
00:28:33,708 --> 00:28:35,750
Hmm? That's not bad.
624
00:28:36,667 --> 00:28:37,583
Um...
625
00:28:38,458 --> 00:28:41,708
maybe your hand goes under my shirt?
626
00:28:42,792 --> 00:28:44,458
- Y-You sure?
627
00:28:44,458 --> 00:28:45,750
- Why not?
628
00:28:45,750 --> 00:28:50,208
I mean, we've already...
dipped our feet in the pool.
629
00:28:50,208 --> 00:28:51,250
LARSON: Okay.
630
00:28:52,583 --> 00:28:54,292
[Avery giggling]
631
00:28:54,292 --> 00:28:55,667
- Tickles.
632
00:28:58,125 --> 00:28:59,750
Nice.
633
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,125
Um...
634
00:29:03,833 --> 00:29:05,125
Maybe...
635
00:29:05,125 --> 00:29:06,667
your head...
636
00:29:07,625 --> 00:29:09,167
- Goes underwater?
637
00:29:12,250 --> 00:29:13,583
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
638
00:29:14,708 --> 00:29:17,042
[Avery giggling]
639
00:29:17,042 --> 00:29:20,917
This is crazy.
640
00:29:20,917 --> 00:29:23,208
♪ playful orchestral music playing ♪
641
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,208
- Do you like that?
642
00:30:00,292 --> 00:30:01,292
- Mm-hmm.
643
00:30:02,292 --> 00:30:03,833
- What about this?
644
00:30:04,583 --> 00:30:06,208
[zipper unzips]
- Whoa!
645
00:30:06,208 --> 00:30:07,583
What are you doing?
646
00:30:07,583 --> 00:30:09,000
- Sorry, y-you said that...
647
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,333
- Oh, yeah. No, no, no, sure.
Um, but...
648
00:30:11,333 --> 00:30:14,125
I forgot, I have, uh, homework to do.
649
00:30:15,125 --> 00:30:16,917
- Sorry, I... really, I just...
- No.
650
00:30:16,917 --> 00:30:18,708
You're fine. Just...
651
00:30:18,708 --> 00:30:21,750
- No, with everything we talked about,
I wanted to make sure that...
652
00:30:21,750 --> 00:30:23,625
- No, no, no, it's all good, all good.
Not that.
653
00:30:23,625 --> 00:30:26,167
- Okay, as long as you feel--
- Okay, yep. Bye.
654
00:30:26,167 --> 00:30:27,667
[Larson sighs]
655
00:30:27,667 --> 00:30:30,708
♪ upbeat music playing ♪
656
00:30:31,292 --> 00:30:33,583
AVERY:
It was just like our other experiments,
657
00:30:33,583 --> 00:30:37,208
so why did this somehow seem different?
658
00:30:44,583 --> 00:30:45,625
Hmm.
659
00:30:50,917 --> 00:30:53,583
Trial one, kissing,
and trial two, fondling,
660
00:30:53,583 --> 00:30:55,708
were both successful entrées
into foreplay,
661
00:30:55,708 --> 00:30:58,667
but trial three would first require
extensive intel
662
00:30:58,667 --> 00:31:01,250
on assorted dick stuff.
663
00:31:02,458 --> 00:31:04,208
So, what's your penis like?
664
00:31:04,208 --> 00:31:06,375
- Real thick.
- Long Dong Silver.
665
00:31:06,833 --> 00:31:10,875
- No, uh, what does it like?
666
00:31:10,875 --> 00:31:13,375
- A blow job. A blow job.
667
00:31:13,375 --> 00:31:17,042
'Cause you can't pull that off yourself.
I've tried.
668
00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:18,333
- Icy hot. [snarls]
669
00:31:18,333 --> 00:31:21,625
- To be spoken to like a sad little boy
who accidentally ruined Christmas.
670
00:31:21,625 --> 00:31:23,875
AVERY: What?
- The fuck?
671
00:31:23,875 --> 00:31:24,875
- What?
672
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,667
- If you wanna become
a dick-sucking artist...
673
00:31:28,667 --> 00:31:30,417
- You've gotta have
a strong hold on the base.
674
00:31:30,417 --> 00:31:33,083
- This part, sensitive.
675
00:31:33,083 --> 00:31:36,708
- A penis Picockso,
a Bonet, a Frida Cocklo.
676
00:31:36,708 --> 00:31:38,292
- Then with the other hand,
677
00:31:38,292 --> 00:31:41,167
you come up gently over the top.
678
00:31:41,167 --> 00:31:42,375
- It's all about the tip.
679
00:31:42,375 --> 00:31:44,625
- This is where it gets good.
[splatters]
680
00:31:44,625 --> 00:31:46,875
Voilà!
- Pfft! Eww!
681
00:31:46,875 --> 00:31:49,042
- No guy is splooging in my mouth.
682
00:31:49,042 --> 00:31:50,708
Or on my face.
683
00:31:51,917 --> 00:31:52,875
- Oh, that's hot.
684
00:31:52,875 --> 00:31:55,333
- Why are we expected to act
like a dude's sperm
685
00:31:55,333 --> 00:31:58,083
is some sugary sweet nectar
from the gods?
686
00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,292
There's a reason they call it junk.
687
00:32:00,292 --> 00:32:03,375
- It's not junk, it's something
my body works hard to produce.
688
00:32:05,333 --> 00:32:06,833
- Thoughts on cradling?
689
00:32:06,833 --> 00:32:09,208
- I do not consent to this conversation.
690
00:32:16,833 --> 00:32:20,292
- Hey, let's say I successfully
perform oral to the point of ejaculation.
691
00:32:20,292 --> 00:32:22,208
Am I expected to swallow the discharge?
692
00:32:22,208 --> 00:32:24,458
- Okay.
[door clatters]
693
00:32:25,167 --> 00:32:26,750
[school bell rings]
694
00:32:30,750 --> 00:32:32,833
AVERY:
The more the data kept pointing to it,
695
00:32:32,833 --> 00:32:36,083
the more I couldn't stop
thinking about "it."
696
00:32:36,750 --> 00:32:38,792
I was seeing them everywhere.
697
00:32:38,792 --> 00:32:40,875
[whistling]
698
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,458
[straining]
699
00:32:46,458 --> 00:32:49,417
- These things are so hard to get off.
700
00:33:02,292 --> 00:33:04,083
- I'm exploring a new series.
701
00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:08,542
- This is my laughing clown nightmare.
702
00:33:08,542 --> 00:33:10,417
With dicks.
703
00:33:10,417 --> 00:33:13,333
- Oh, Deb's just trying
to desensitize you.
704
00:33:13,333 --> 00:33:16,667
- And she's the perfect source, too,
because she's never been with a man.
705
00:33:16,667 --> 00:33:19,583
- The gold star is a badge I proudly wear.
706
00:33:19,583 --> 00:33:21,542
- Okay, there's a diversity of options.
707
00:33:21,542 --> 00:33:25,292
You've got your lefties, your righties,
your straight shooters, your curvatures,
708
00:33:25,292 --> 00:33:27,833
and there are some
really veiny ones out there, Avery,
709
00:33:27,833 --> 00:33:28,958
just... keep that in mind.
710
00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:32,625
- Are you some secret dick wizard, Kim?
711
00:33:32,625 --> 00:33:34,167
- I saw a few in college.
712
00:33:34,167 --> 00:33:38,167
Terrifying skin pickles, but you gotta
try things to know what you want.
713
00:33:38,167 --> 00:33:39,583
Or don't want.
714
00:33:39,583 --> 00:33:42,375
- Cool. I'll just be at Hometown Buffet
sampling the local beef.
715
00:33:42,375 --> 00:33:46,500
- Okay, just remember, no matter the size,
it's the biggest you've ever seen.
716
00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:49,000
- Oh, the fragile male ego.
717
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,250
Women don't measure
the size of their pussy.
718
00:33:51,917 --> 00:33:53,792
- Mine's 4.3 inches deep.
719
00:33:56,417 --> 00:33:58,375
- Period, that was a breeze.
720
00:33:58,375 --> 00:34:02,167
The losing the virginity,
this is what we've been training for.
721
00:34:02,167 --> 00:34:04,000
[line ringing]
722
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,458
- Back to you!
- Yay!
723
00:34:05,458 --> 00:34:06,667
MAMA SUZE: Got it.
724
00:34:07,167 --> 00:34:08,500
AVERY: Dicks.
725
00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:11,667
[gasps] Oh, my God.
What are you watching?
726
00:34:11,667 --> 00:34:15,167
WOMAN ON TV: Ride 'em, cowboy!
- Oh, it's just... it was just on TV.
727
00:34:15,167 --> 00:34:17,833
- Uh, that's not TV, that's porn.
728
00:34:17,833 --> 00:34:21,500
- Now, how come a penis on screen
is considered porn,
729
00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:23,875
but breasts aren't?
730
00:34:23,875 --> 00:34:26,125
- Interesting.
Well, I don't know.
731
00:34:26,125 --> 00:34:28,958
Maybe 'cause breasts aren't
ramming some chick in the ass.
732
00:34:29,667 --> 00:34:30,750
- Language.
733
00:34:30,750 --> 00:34:32,958
- This has Ma Deb written all over it.
734
00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:35,917
- I told her this was a bit much.
735
00:34:35,917 --> 00:34:37,333
- This is why I can't
tell you guys anything.
736
00:34:37,333 --> 00:34:40,333
- You are right, this is, yecch!
737
00:34:40,333 --> 00:34:43,000
Actually, I don't...
I really don't like this kind of porn.
738
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,208
I prefer a little softer.
739
00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:46,792
Mostly cuddling.
740
00:34:46,792 --> 00:34:48,083
And sharing feelings.
741
00:34:48,083 --> 00:34:50,000
Actually, I think I just like
documentaries.
742
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,250
- Do not condone this.
- Mm-hmm.
743
00:34:52,250 --> 00:34:53,958
- Learning how to have sex
by watching porn
744
00:34:53,958 --> 00:34:57,125
is like learning how to drive
by watching Fast and the Furious.
745
00:34:57,125 --> 00:35:00,125
♪ energetic music playing ♪
746
00:35:05,417 --> 00:35:08,167
Okay, look, I just need to touch it.
I gotta get it over with.
747
00:35:08,167 --> 00:35:09,208
- Jesus.
- Whip it out.
748
00:35:09,208 --> 00:35:10,250
- Easy!
749
00:35:10,250 --> 00:35:13,875
He's shy, he needs a little pep talk
before he comes out of the dressing room.
750
00:35:13,875 --> 00:35:15,125
- Oh, mm-hmm, okay.
751
00:35:16,083 --> 00:35:20,667
This is your moment to step
into your light and share your talent.
752
00:35:20,667 --> 00:35:23,083
The world is ready for you to shine.
753
00:35:23,083 --> 00:35:26,083
- Avery, maybe try with your hand?
754
00:35:26,083 --> 00:35:27,417
- Yeah. Okay.
755
00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:37,542
Oh. Hey. Oh!
756
00:35:37,542 --> 00:35:38,875
Oh, it jumped.
757
00:35:38,875 --> 00:35:40,625
- Yeah...
- Uh...
758
00:35:40,625 --> 00:35:43,417
[zipper unzips]
Hey there.
759
00:35:43,417 --> 00:35:46,417
Just kind of popped out
to say hello, huh?
760
00:35:47,458 --> 00:35:50,500
Aww!
- No, don't "aww," you can't do that.
761
00:35:50,500 --> 00:35:52,167
- Oh, no, it's nice.
762
00:35:52,167 --> 00:35:54,458
And, you know, kind of sweet.
763
00:35:54,458 --> 00:35:56,000
Like an enoki.
764
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,542
You know, the mushrooms.
765
00:35:57,542 --> 00:35:58,917
Oh, no.
766
00:35:58,917 --> 00:36:00,875
Oh, no, no, no, no.
It's going down.
767
00:36:00,875 --> 00:36:04,000
- Yeah.
- Uh, the show is not over.
768
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,667
Rise for your encore.
769
00:36:05,667 --> 00:36:07,750
- Oh, my God, I can't
believe that's working.
770
00:36:07,750 --> 00:36:10,208
Uh, maybe a little louder
and a little closer.
771
00:36:12,292 --> 00:36:15,375
AVERY: All right, buddy, you've got this.
I believe in you.
772
00:36:16,750 --> 00:36:18,917
Are you ready?
- I was born ready.
773
00:36:21,375 --> 00:36:22,583
- Ready.
774
00:36:26,208 --> 00:36:27,375
How's that?
775
00:36:27,375 --> 00:36:30,292
- Oh, actually, a little less pressure.
776
00:36:30,292 --> 00:36:31,583
[monitor beeping]
- Copy.
777
00:36:31,583 --> 00:36:33,583
- Uh... less pressure.
778
00:36:37,292 --> 00:36:38,708
LARSON: Yes.
779
00:36:38,708 --> 00:36:39,958
Oh, yeah.
780
00:36:40,458 --> 00:36:41,792
Oh!
781
00:36:41,792 --> 00:36:42,833
It's working!
782
00:36:44,042 --> 00:36:45,958
- Your pulse is racing.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
783
00:36:45,958 --> 00:36:47,167
That's normal.
784
00:36:47,167 --> 00:36:50,250
Ah, yeah.
785
00:36:50,250 --> 00:36:52,417
- Hey, is everything okay?
786
00:36:52,417 --> 00:36:54,708
- Everything's great, really great!
787
00:36:54,708 --> 00:36:56,708
Oh! Whoa!
788
00:36:57,250 --> 00:36:58,667
Heads up for...
- Takeoff?
789
00:36:58,667 --> 00:36:59,708
- Yep!
790
00:36:59,708 --> 00:37:01,083
Whoa!
791
00:37:02,125 --> 00:37:04,083
[straining]
792
00:37:04,083 --> 00:37:06,667
Oh! Oh!
793
00:37:06,667 --> 00:37:08,250
Stay on course!
794
00:37:08,250 --> 00:37:09,958
[straining]
795
00:37:09,958 --> 00:37:11,375
It's happening!
796
00:37:11,375 --> 00:37:12,667
Whoa!
- Ahh!
797
00:37:13,375 --> 00:37:17,250
LARSON: Yeahhhhhh...
- [deep, slow voice] Oh, shit!
798
00:37:24,167 --> 00:37:25,458
- Avery?
799
00:37:25,458 --> 00:37:26,917
- Yeah?
800
00:37:26,917 --> 00:37:29,125
- Thanks.
801
00:37:29,125 --> 00:37:30,542
- Hmm. Mm-hmm.
802
00:37:34,333 --> 00:37:36,250
- Do you want me to return the favor?
803
00:37:38,208 --> 00:37:39,667
- Uh...
804
00:37:39,667 --> 00:37:40,708
Yeah.
805
00:37:40,708 --> 00:37:41,792
Okay.
806
00:37:41,792 --> 00:37:43,042
- Okay.
807
00:37:44,250 --> 00:37:45,667
So, what do you like?
808
00:37:48,458 --> 00:37:49,833
- Uh...
809
00:37:49,833 --> 00:37:53,917
You know what, actually, I think we can
call today's experiment a success.
810
00:37:55,208 --> 00:37:57,958
Uh, we've hit a very important part
in the engineering process
811
00:37:57,958 --> 00:37:59,750
in which one assesses the data,
812
00:37:59,750 --> 00:38:02,333
and so I'll go analyze that
and get back to you.
813
00:38:02,333 --> 00:38:04,917
- Wait, wait, where are you going?
I thought I was going to return the favor.
814
00:38:04,917 --> 00:38:07,458
- Why? We achieved foreplay.
815
00:38:07,458 --> 00:38:09,500
- Yeah, for me.
816
00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:12,875
But getting a guy off
isn't rocket science.
817
00:38:12,875 --> 00:38:15,792
It's only a successful mission
if we both enjoy it.
818
00:38:15,792 --> 00:38:17,250
- I had a great time.
819
00:38:17,250 --> 00:38:20,333
- No, I mean, I want to get you off too.
820
00:38:20,333 --> 00:38:23,792
I mean, that's sort of how you know
it went well, if we both do, right?
821
00:38:24,542 --> 00:38:26,458
- That's really sweet.
822
00:38:26,458 --> 00:38:28,000
- Avery!
823
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:31,000
AVERY:
Larson knew what he liked, but I didn't.
824
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,333
How could I create
an app that provides users
825
00:38:33,333 --> 00:38:37,333
with steps to take to achieve good sex
if I didn't even know what I liked?
826
00:38:37,333 --> 00:38:39,833
A critical gap in my data.
827
00:38:39,833 --> 00:38:42,542
With STEMCON around the corner,
I needed to consult
828
00:38:42,542 --> 00:38:44,542
the ultimate expert in teen sexuality.
829
00:38:44,542 --> 00:38:46,667
[computer chirping]
830
00:38:47,625 --> 00:38:50,292
- So... you've never touched yourself.
831
00:38:51,292 --> 00:38:52,708
What about when you wipe?
832
00:38:52,708 --> 00:38:54,542
- I'm not doing it with my bare hand.
833
00:38:54,542 --> 00:38:56,792
- Dude, are you fucking serious?
834
00:38:59,292 --> 00:39:00,583
Did you measure?
835
00:39:00,583 --> 00:39:02,000
- It wasn't for pleasure.
836
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,250
- Mid force?
- Roughly.
837
00:39:04,250 --> 00:39:06,750
- Okay, good.
Have you ever heard of a dildo?
838
00:39:06,750 --> 00:39:08,583
AVERY:
Have I heard of a dildo?
839
00:39:08,583 --> 00:39:10,000
♪ funky music playing ♪
840
00:39:16,292 --> 00:39:18,083
MAMA SUZE: Avery!
841
00:39:18,667 --> 00:39:21,417
Debra, have you seen my magic wand?
842
00:39:21,417 --> 00:39:24,583
BOTH: More than meets the eye!
843
00:39:25,250 --> 00:39:27,042
- Eye!
MAMA SUZE: God dang it, Avery!
844
00:39:27,958 --> 00:39:31,792
- I have a fundamental bias
against vibrators.
845
00:39:33,083 --> 00:39:36,000
I would just want to be able
to operate my own machinery.
846
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,500
- Every captain should know how
to steer her own ship.
847
00:39:39,083 --> 00:39:40,125
Hot tip.
848
00:39:40,125 --> 00:39:43,917
When testing the waters,
Jacuzzi jets are the way to go.
849
00:39:43,917 --> 00:39:45,333
Just do some exploring.
850
00:39:45,333 --> 00:39:47,250
- I'm like the Voyager.
851
00:39:47,250 --> 00:39:49,542
- You can't work in a vacuum.
852
00:39:49,958 --> 00:39:53,333
This is gonna require
physical and mental stimulation.
853
00:39:54,542 --> 00:39:57,833
- It's like how Wonder Woman
was given all this training,
854
00:39:57,833 --> 00:40:00,708
but it wasn't until she was able
to channel her mental power
855
00:40:00,708 --> 00:40:03,583
into her physical abilities that she
was able to defeat her opponents.
856
00:40:03,583 --> 00:40:05,958
- Uh... yeah, sure.
857
00:40:05,958 --> 00:40:07,792
I'm just saying like...
858
00:40:07,792 --> 00:40:10,375
try to picture your object of desire.
859
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,375
- Right.
860
00:40:12,375 --> 00:40:14,083
DANICA: Could I offer a suggestion?
861
00:40:14,917 --> 00:40:16,042
Coconut oil.
862
00:40:16,625 --> 00:40:18,333
- Mama Suze cooks with that.
863
00:40:18,333 --> 00:40:21,750
- It's all natural, moisturizing,
a delightful lubricant.
864
00:40:21,750 --> 00:40:22,792
Avery...
865
00:40:23,792 --> 00:40:25,708
go home and do some finger painting.
866
00:40:36,250 --> 00:40:37,417
- Okay.
867
00:40:39,917 --> 00:40:41,250
[sighing]
868
00:40:41,250 --> 00:40:43,625
♪ ringtone playing ♪
Oh, no, no.
869
00:40:44,250 --> 00:40:45,833
- Well, hello.
- Shit.
870
00:40:45,833 --> 00:40:48,000
- Con's coming up, I can't wait.
- Hey.
871
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,583
- Your response time suggests that
your fingers are equally excited
872
00:40:50,583 --> 00:40:52,625
to explore our respective functionality.
873
00:40:52,625 --> 00:40:54,542
What presentation group
were you assigned to?
874
00:40:54,542 --> 00:40:57,542
- Uh, day two, morning group.
875
00:40:57,542 --> 00:40:59,208
- Ooh, strong open.
876
00:40:59,208 --> 00:41:01,083
I'm day one, late show.
877
00:41:01,708 --> 00:41:03,208
Want a preview?
878
00:41:03,208 --> 00:41:06,625
- Oh, wouldn't you rather
just relish in anticipation?
879
00:41:06,625 --> 00:41:09,625
- Genius. Can't wait to see
yours in two weeks.
880
00:41:09,625 --> 00:41:10,792
- Mm, yep, me too.
881
00:41:12,167 --> 00:41:14,000
♪ energetic music playing ♪
882
00:41:20,083 --> 00:41:21,542
Ooh!
883
00:41:21,542 --> 00:41:24,542
[sighing]
884
00:41:24,542 --> 00:41:26,292
Uncharted waters.
885
00:41:30,292 --> 00:41:33,875
♪ pop orchestra playing '50s ballad ♪
886
00:41:33,875 --> 00:41:35,875
♪
887
00:41:42,208 --> 00:41:43,917
- Why, hello there, Avery.
888
00:41:44,750 --> 00:41:48,833
I just finished my research paper
on toxic algae bloom,
889
00:41:48,833 --> 00:41:51,333
and it's getting awfully hot in here.
890
00:41:52,292 --> 00:41:53,750
- Ooh!
891
00:41:53,750 --> 00:41:56,125
♪ Avery, baby ♪
892
00:41:56,125 --> 00:41:59,750
♪ You're driving me crazy ♪
893
00:41:59,750 --> 00:42:02,833
♪ My soul innovator ♪
894
00:42:02,833 --> 00:42:06,125
♪ Our love calculator ♪
895
00:42:06,125 --> 00:42:09,167
♪ Says you plus me ♪
896
00:42:09,167 --> 00:42:13,708
♪ Equals mad sexy ♪
897
00:42:13,708 --> 00:42:15,167
[straining]
898
00:42:15,792 --> 00:42:17,708
♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪
899
00:42:17,708 --> 00:42:19,833
[toilet flushes]
900
00:42:19,833 --> 00:42:20,958
[pipes whining]
901
00:42:20,958 --> 00:42:23,875
- Oh! It burns!
Oh, it burns, burns, burns!
902
00:42:23,875 --> 00:42:25,875
Flush warning next time!
903
00:42:25,875 --> 00:42:27,333
MAMA SUZE: Sorry.
904
00:42:29,292 --> 00:42:32,417
[gasping]
[phone buzzing]
905
00:42:32,417 --> 00:42:33,875
[clears throat]
906
00:42:34,500 --> 00:42:37,667
- 'Sup?
- Nothing. I'm behind on my presentation.
907
00:42:37,667 --> 00:42:40,167
STEMCON's around the corner,
and I still haven't figured out
908
00:42:40,167 --> 00:42:42,667
the algorithm to provide
a successful outcome.
909
00:42:42,667 --> 00:42:44,792
- Yeah, thought that was
why you were coming over,
910
00:42:44,792 --> 00:42:46,667
so you could get all that data?
911
00:42:46,667 --> 00:42:49,542
- Yeah, well, I'm blocked, so it's moot.
912
00:42:49,542 --> 00:42:52,167
- Hey, what happened to all that
symbiosis we had going on?
913
00:42:52,167 --> 00:42:55,750
Open up that croc trap of yours
and let me peck around.
914
00:42:55,750 --> 00:42:57,667
- So you admit you're the plover.
915
00:42:57,667 --> 00:42:58,833
- If it's working.
916
00:43:00,042 --> 00:43:01,958
- Hmm. Nothing's working.
917
00:43:02,958 --> 00:43:04,875
- Maybe you're too in your head.
918
00:43:04,875 --> 00:43:06,375
- Where else would I be?
919
00:43:06,375 --> 00:43:08,833
- No, I mean, maybe
you're thinking too much
920
00:43:08,833 --> 00:43:10,875
about something that should
happen more naturally.
921
00:43:10,875 --> 00:43:14,833
- I don't know, I mean, maybe...
talk me through what you do?
922
00:43:14,833 --> 00:43:16,042
How do you get there?
923
00:43:16,042 --> 00:43:18,125
- Are you suggesting we have phone sex?
924
00:43:18,125 --> 00:43:19,417
- Am I?
925
00:43:20,417 --> 00:43:21,792
Should we?
926
00:43:22,792 --> 00:43:23,875
Do you know how?
927
00:43:24,667 --> 00:43:28,375
- Maybe. I... I think I'm supposed to say
a bunch of stuff to turn you on.
928
00:43:28,375 --> 00:43:29,583
- Okay.
929
00:43:31,792 --> 00:43:33,250
Go!
- Uh...
930
00:43:33,250 --> 00:43:34,708
Jeez, uh...
931
00:43:34,708 --> 00:43:37,167
Uh, how's, uh...
932
00:43:37,167 --> 00:43:40,667
[speaking Vulcan language]
933
00:43:40,667 --> 00:43:42,167
- Wait, Vulcan?
934
00:43:42,167 --> 00:43:44,458
Larson, no way.
935
00:43:44,458 --> 00:43:45,542
[laughs]
936
00:43:45,542 --> 00:43:47,042
Very impressed.
937
00:43:47,042 --> 00:43:47,958
- Yeah.
938
00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:50,792
Th-There was an online tutorial.
- Yeah, it's impressive.
939
00:43:51,667 --> 00:43:53,875
But, uh... ineffective.
940
00:43:53,875 --> 00:43:55,583
- Are you judging yourself?
941
00:43:55,583 --> 00:43:57,625
- Oh, right.
942
00:43:57,625 --> 00:43:58,875
Okay, hang on.
943
00:44:00,958 --> 00:44:02,083
- Ah.
944
00:44:03,292 --> 00:44:04,708
- Okay, continue.
945
00:44:04,708 --> 00:44:07,292
[speaking Vulcan]
946
00:44:08,167 --> 00:44:09,542
...sexy.
947
00:44:09,542 --> 00:44:11,833
- Nothin'.
948
00:44:11,833 --> 00:44:13,583
God, what am I doing wrong?
949
00:44:13,583 --> 00:44:15,458
- No, maybe it's my Vulcan.
950
00:44:15,458 --> 00:44:17,667
I should just recite the periodic table.
951
00:44:17,667 --> 00:44:19,167
- Ha, ha.
952
00:44:19,167 --> 00:44:20,833
- Or name an element after you.
953
00:44:23,625 --> 00:44:25,750
- Wait...
Say that again?
954
00:44:25,750 --> 00:44:29,250
- There should be an element
on the periodic table named after you?
955
00:44:30,542 --> 00:44:33,500
Uh, a never-before-seen metal.
956
00:44:33,500 --> 00:44:34,958
Avery Namium.
957
00:44:36,458 --> 00:44:38,792
- Well, there... there was a tingle.
958
00:44:39,458 --> 00:44:42,250
Keep going.
- Th-This new element...
959
00:44:42,250 --> 00:44:45,042
uh, you found it on your voyage to Mars.
960
00:44:45,042 --> 00:44:48,167
- I went to Mars?
- After you graduated from MIT.
961
00:44:50,125 --> 00:44:51,417
- Summa cum laude?
962
00:44:51,417 --> 00:44:53,792
- Oh, yeah, and you got this grant.
963
00:44:53,792 --> 00:44:55,458
- I got a research grant? Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.
964
00:44:55,458 --> 00:44:59,708
So they sent you to Mars, and because
of this whole new element thing,
965
00:44:59,708 --> 00:45:02,292
the capital of Mars is now Averyopolis.
966
00:45:02,292 --> 00:45:04,833
- Yeah?
- Yeah. A thriving new colony.
967
00:45:04,833 --> 00:45:07,417
And you're their leader,
and it's a super chill place
968
00:45:07,417 --> 00:45:11,292
so no surprise, you were awarded
a Nobel Peace Prize.
969
00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:12,833
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah.
970
00:45:12,833 --> 00:45:15,583
- Oh, my God, oh, yeah.
Yeah, this is working.
971
00:45:15,583 --> 00:45:17,792
- Are you there?
- Oh, almost there.
972
00:45:17,792 --> 00:45:19,958
- Y-You'll win STEMCON, STEM awards.
973
00:45:19,958 --> 00:45:21,208
[sighs]
974
00:45:21,208 --> 00:45:22,625
[gasps] Oh, fuck!
975
00:45:22,625 --> 00:45:24,167
Oh, God, oh, no.
976
00:45:24,167 --> 00:45:27,333
Okay, I'm losing it, I'm losing it.
- Avery? You there?
977
00:45:27,333 --> 00:45:28,708
- Yeah.
978
00:45:28,708 --> 00:45:30,917
Yeah, no, it's, that's gone.
979
00:45:30,917 --> 00:45:31,833
Mm.
980
00:45:34,625 --> 00:45:35,708
[sighs]
981
00:45:36,250 --> 00:45:38,083
STEM night was a week away
982
00:45:38,083 --> 00:45:41,583
and I had yet to crack the code
for my night with Casper, or my app.
983
00:45:42,667 --> 00:45:46,167
All right, people.
Insights on female pleasure. Go.
984
00:45:46,167 --> 00:45:49,500
- I just want to point out that if I ever
said anything like that to you,
985
00:45:49,500 --> 00:45:51,167
I'd be so canceled.
986
00:45:51,167 --> 00:45:54,292
- Okay, clearly, since I'm the only one
here who's actually been with a girl,
987
00:45:54,292 --> 00:45:55,750
I'll take this one.
988
00:45:55,750 --> 00:45:59,292
Tell your partner to enjoy you
like an ice cream cone that's melting.
989
00:45:59,292 --> 00:46:01,750
Catch every last drop.
990
00:46:01,750 --> 00:46:03,042
- Maybe he doesn't do dairy.
991
00:46:03,042 --> 00:46:05,250
- Hmm. Okay, does he like
to do the crossword?
992
00:46:05,250 --> 00:46:07,250
- Be surprised if he didn't,
everyone does.
993
00:46:07,250 --> 00:46:10,167
- Have him fill out the boxes
with a pointy tongue going across
994
00:46:10,167 --> 00:46:11,417
and a flat one going down.
995
00:46:11,417 --> 00:46:13,667
- Ah, la-la-la-la-la-la!
- Oh, my God, Troy!
996
00:46:13,667 --> 00:46:16,167
I'm like destroying this equation
up here and you're missing it.
997
00:46:16,167 --> 00:46:17,708
Just be less, 'kay?
998
00:46:17,708 --> 00:46:19,917
Okay, we're going to put that
over a negative three...
999
00:46:19,917 --> 00:46:22,167
- All right. Other techniques?
1000
00:46:22,167 --> 00:46:23,458
- Tactics?
1001
00:46:24,750 --> 00:46:25,792
Frank?
1002
00:46:26,833 --> 00:46:29,958
- There's a common misconception
that most women climax
from penetrative sex,
1003
00:46:29,958 --> 00:46:31,958
but statistics show
that 75% of women
1004
00:46:31,958 --> 00:46:33,958
can't achieve orgasm
from penetration alone.
1005
00:46:33,958 --> 00:46:37,125
Stimulating the clitoris
and other erogenous zones is key.
1006
00:46:37,125 --> 00:46:38,208
- Damn.
1007
00:46:38,208 --> 00:46:40,333
- And how does one locate said e-zones?
1008
00:46:40,333 --> 00:46:43,792
- My cousin said that it's best to think
of your body like a game of Twister
1009
00:46:43,792 --> 00:46:45,708
and eventually you'll find the spot.
1010
00:46:45,708 --> 00:46:49,292
- Avery, look at me.
Your body is a Costco, okay?
1011
00:46:49,292 --> 00:46:51,083
You're trying
all these different samples, right?
1012
00:46:51,083 --> 00:46:54,292
You're trying all these different samples.
Oop! Uh-oh. You found the one.
1013
00:46:54,292 --> 00:46:56,750
- Okay, but where
are the sample booths located?
1014
00:46:56,750 --> 00:46:58,833
- Avery, I cannot tell you everything.
Jesus.
1015
00:46:58,833 --> 00:47:01,583
- If I may, the G depends
largely on the individual,
1016
00:47:01,583 --> 00:47:03,500
but there are a certain number
of other erogenous zones
1017
00:47:03,500 --> 00:47:05,792
that occur across genders
and sexual preferences,
1018
00:47:05,792 --> 00:47:09,208
including toes, neck, ear, butt,
behind the knees, elbows.
1019
00:47:09,208 --> 00:47:10,542
The partner-pleasure approaches.
1020
00:47:10,542 --> 00:47:13,167
The rock-and-roll, the surf's up,
the double-action revolver,
1021
00:47:13,167 --> 00:47:15,583
the Spock, the reverse Spock,
the devil's advocate.
1022
00:47:15,583 --> 00:47:17,750
I'll email you a list later.
- Damn!
1023
00:47:17,750 --> 00:47:19,458
- Oh, no, no.
1024
00:47:19,458 --> 00:47:21,875
- Why does pleasing women
gotta be so complicated?
1025
00:47:21,875 --> 00:47:22,875
- I can orgasm.
1026
00:47:24,417 --> 00:47:26,167
Right here, right now.
1027
00:47:29,542 --> 00:47:31,792
- If I did that, I'd be suspended.
1028
00:47:31,792 --> 00:47:33,125
I would be suspended!
1029
00:47:33,125 --> 00:47:36,625
- Oh, my God, Troy, you so will be.
Okay, just take it down or take it out.
1030
00:47:36,625 --> 00:47:38,375
- Uh, Ms. Russell?
- Yeah, baby.
1031
00:47:38,375 --> 00:47:39,875
- Hi, mama. Uh...
1032
00:47:39,875 --> 00:47:41,625
Let's say Avery needs to solve for C.
1033
00:47:41,625 --> 00:47:43,792
- Ooh, participation! Yes!
[snaps fingers]
1034
00:47:43,792 --> 00:47:45,500
- But doesn't Avery also need
to solve for G?
1035
00:47:45,500 --> 00:47:47,083
Isn't G the super proof?
1036
00:47:47,083 --> 00:47:48,750
- But to solve for C and G,
1037
00:47:48,750 --> 00:47:50,875
should she maybe also solve for A too?
1038
00:47:50,875 --> 00:47:52,083
- Ooh!
- Whoa, whoa!
1039
00:47:52,083 --> 00:47:54,333
- Excuse me, some of us
like to solve for A.
1040
00:47:54,333 --> 00:47:56,708
- Oh, for sure, A is great, guys.
1041
00:47:56,708 --> 00:47:58,875
- I love you, Ms. Russell.
Everyone loves a pinkie.
1042
00:47:59,958 --> 00:48:02,417
Everybody.
- What about B squared?
1043
00:48:02,417 --> 00:48:04,250
- Oh, my God, loves B squared,
1044
00:48:04,250 --> 00:48:06,417
but we save that for our boy quadratic
1045
00:48:06,417 --> 00:48:09,000
when B squared is on top of 2A.
1046
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,542
- Yeah, she is!
1047
00:48:10,542 --> 00:48:12,917
- You know, I do really love
the triangle angle sum theorem,
1048
00:48:12,917 --> 00:48:15,333
because we get
the all-powerful isosceles.
1049
00:48:15,333 --> 00:48:16,875
- Mm, preach!
1050
00:48:18,125 --> 00:48:19,500
- Ooh!
MS. RUSSELL: Avery.
1051
00:48:20,083 --> 00:48:23,542
- Let's say movement occurs
at the intersection of the angles.
1052
00:48:24,333 --> 00:48:26,125
How would we solve for G?
1053
00:48:26,125 --> 00:48:28,375
- We're talking magnitude, huh? Okay.
1054
00:48:28,958 --> 00:48:32,917
We're going to need a vector that
starts at D and goes deep into G.
1055
00:48:32,917 --> 00:48:33,833
- Yeah, we do.
1056
00:48:33,833 --> 00:48:36,083
- Now, it doesn't matter how big
this vector is or how long,
1057
00:48:36,083 --> 00:48:37,375
what matters is the angle, okay?
1058
00:48:37,375 --> 00:48:38,500
MARLA: The angle!
1059
00:48:38,500 --> 00:48:41,375
- Marla? You good there, boo?
STUDENT: She's really doing it.
1060
00:48:41,375 --> 00:48:43,583
MARLA: Yes, yes...
1061
00:48:43,583 --> 00:48:45,167
Yes!
1062
00:48:45,167 --> 00:48:46,708
Yes!
1063
00:48:46,708 --> 00:48:48,208
Yes!
1064
00:48:48,208 --> 00:48:51,042
- [device beeps]
SPOCK: You have sufficient data
to achieve orgasm.
1065
00:48:51,042 --> 00:48:52,875
- [gasps] Yes!
1066
00:48:53,917 --> 00:48:56,375
- They grow up so fast.
- I know. Go get 'em, girl.
1067
00:48:56,375 --> 00:48:59,083
MS. RUSSELL: ...take the test next week.
- [bell ringing]
1068
00:49:00,250 --> 00:49:01,542
- Ooh!
1069
00:49:01,542 --> 00:49:05,333
- Oh, shit, sorry. Sorry about that.
- Oh, you're all good.
1070
00:49:05,333 --> 00:49:07,667
These, uh, blank corners
will get you every time.
1071
00:49:07,667 --> 00:49:09,917
- What? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
1072
00:49:09,917 --> 00:49:12,625
- Um, you play the trombone, right?
1073
00:49:12,625 --> 00:49:14,875
We have band together?
- Uh-huh.
1074
00:49:14,875 --> 00:49:16,958
- I thought so. Um... I'm...
- Hey!
1075
00:49:16,958 --> 00:49:17,875
Larson.
1076
00:49:17,875 --> 00:49:20,250
Uh, we have that, um...
1077
00:49:20,250 --> 00:49:21,208
paper?
1078
00:49:23,083 --> 00:49:24,958
- Yeah, um, sorry.
1079
00:49:24,958 --> 00:49:27,417
Uh, I'll see you in band. There you go.
1080
00:49:27,417 --> 00:49:29,333
- Okay, thank you.
- Yeah, bye.
1081
00:49:29,833 --> 00:49:31,792
- Hey, I--
- No.
1082
00:49:33,750 --> 00:49:35,875
- I can't believe I didn't figure it out,
you know.
1083
00:49:35,875 --> 00:49:38,250
It's the chemistry plus the geometry.
1084
00:49:38,250 --> 00:49:40,292
You solve for G,
you trigger a dopamine receptor
1085
00:49:40,292 --> 00:49:42,333
so then the dopamine floods your body
in chemical ecstasy.
1086
00:49:42,333 --> 00:49:45,375
Marla can do it. She did it in class.
You should have seen it.
1087
00:49:45,375 --> 00:49:46,917
But I'm not that skilled.
1088
00:49:46,917 --> 00:49:49,208
- That's okay, I think I get
what you're saying.
1089
00:49:49,208 --> 00:49:52,500
But you know how it's always more
satisfying if someone else rubs your feet?
1090
00:49:52,500 --> 00:49:53,917
- Okay, great.
1091
00:49:54,875 --> 00:49:56,375
Rub my proverbial feet.
1092
00:50:01,333 --> 00:50:02,625
- Here we go.
1093
00:50:03,083 --> 00:50:04,417
- Godspeed.
1094
00:50:06,375 --> 00:50:10,208
♪ Like yeah, we so amazin'
yeah, we do it like that ♪
1095
00:50:10,208 --> 00:50:13,083
- Am I in the right place?
- Yep. Keep going.
1096
00:50:16,083 --> 00:50:18,958
- Oh, my God! [voice echoing]
1097
00:50:18,958 --> 00:50:22,000
♪ Like yeah, yeah, we the greatest... ♪
1098
00:50:22,792 --> 00:50:23,917
- This good?
1099
00:50:23,917 --> 00:50:26,125
Do you feel that?
- Oh, this is great.
1100
00:50:26,125 --> 00:50:27,542
- That's nice.
1101
00:50:27,542 --> 00:50:28,833
- Go a little to the left.
1102
00:50:28,833 --> 00:50:29,792
- My left?
- My left.
1103
00:50:30,708 --> 00:50:32,583
Oh, no, sorry, sorry.
Your left. [laughs]
1104
00:50:32,583 --> 00:50:34,333
- Oh, wait.
1105
00:50:34,333 --> 00:50:36,458
[sighs] I'm learning a lot of things.
1106
00:50:36,458 --> 00:50:37,875
Like this? Like that?
1107
00:50:37,875 --> 00:50:39,208
AVERY: Faster, yeah.
1108
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,250
[both laughing]
Yeah... yeah!
1109
00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:46,625
What... What was that?
1110
00:50:46,625 --> 00:50:48,292
- This spot's speaking to me,
is it speaking to you?
1111
00:50:48,292 --> 00:50:50,708
- Yeah, no, move.
- Whoa!
1112
00:50:50,708 --> 00:50:53,208
- Wait a minute, where are you going?
- It's a lot to take in, you know?
1113
00:50:53,208 --> 00:50:54,375
Wow... [voice echoing] Wow!
1114
00:50:54,375 --> 00:50:56,292
Am I close?
- Oh, you sure are.
1115
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,250
- Whoa! Think I found it.
1116
00:51:00,708 --> 00:51:01,750
You like that?
1117
00:51:01,750 --> 00:51:03,500
- Oh, I like what you're doing down there.
1118
00:51:03,500 --> 00:51:04,917
- Yeah?
1119
00:51:05,917 --> 00:51:07,833
Should I keep going?
- Don't stop.
1120
00:51:07,833 --> 00:51:09,583
- This feel good? Trying to get in.
1121
00:51:10,458 --> 00:51:12,083
- Go faster.
[door rattling]
1122
00:51:12,083 --> 00:51:14,000
- Oh, yeah, looks like
we're getting close.
1123
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,958
Something's happening.
Oh, something's definitely happening.
1124
00:51:16,958 --> 00:51:18,792
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1125
00:51:18,792 --> 00:51:21,125
- Should I?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, go, go, go.
1126
00:51:24,583 --> 00:51:25,792
Oh!
1127
00:51:25,792 --> 00:51:28,208
♪ epic orchestral music playing ♪
1128
00:51:40,958 --> 00:51:44,208
Ooh! [laughing]
1129
00:51:44,208 --> 00:51:46,625
[sighing]
1130
00:51:52,708 --> 00:51:54,042
Wow!
1131
00:51:56,125 --> 00:51:57,333
[giggles]
1132
00:52:00,583 --> 00:52:01,958
- How was that?
1133
00:52:02,583 --> 00:52:03,833
- Wow! [laughs]
1134
00:52:11,833 --> 00:52:13,458
Sex Appeal.
1135
00:52:13,458 --> 00:52:14,750
- Hmm?
1136
00:52:15,375 --> 00:52:17,042
- That's what I'm gonna name my app.
1137
00:52:18,458 --> 00:52:20,000
- Oh. Great.
1138
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,042
Yeah, yeah, just sometimes you have
to take your head off of something.
1139
00:52:23,042 --> 00:52:24,750
- Yeah, or keep it down.
1140
00:52:24,750 --> 00:52:26,250
[laughing]
1141
00:52:26,250 --> 00:52:30,000
One in three women have trouble
reaching orgasm while having sex.
1142
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:34,000
29% of women ages 16 to 17
are actually having sex,
1143
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:35,917
which meant that
without even having sex,
1144
00:52:35,917 --> 00:52:37,167
I was already in the top third
1145
00:52:37,167 --> 00:52:39,083
of the third who reached
sexual achievement.
1146
00:52:39,083 --> 00:52:40,500
My first orgasm.
1147
00:52:40,500 --> 00:52:42,333
I'd finally become a woman.
1148
00:52:43,917 --> 00:52:45,292
- You good?
1149
00:52:45,292 --> 00:52:47,042
- Yeah, real good.
1150
00:52:47,667 --> 00:52:48,792
Thanks, buddy.
1151
00:52:50,917 --> 00:52:52,167
- You bet.
1152
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:55,167
Buddy.
1153
00:52:57,833 --> 00:52:59,167
- Larson?
1154
00:52:59,167 --> 00:53:00,292
- Yeah.
1155
00:53:00,292 --> 00:53:03,417
- So, when you have sex,
is it like this, just more involved?
1156
00:53:04,375 --> 00:53:06,417
- I haven't had sex.
1157
00:53:06,417 --> 00:53:07,708
- But you've had girlfriends.
1158
00:53:08,958 --> 00:53:10,667
Girls like you.
1159
00:53:10,667 --> 00:53:12,375
- But that doesn't mean I've had sex.
1160
00:53:12,375 --> 00:53:15,208
I... I'm waiting for the right person.
1161
00:53:15,208 --> 00:53:18,208
- But then how do you...
I mean, how do you know so much?
1162
00:53:19,375 --> 00:53:20,542
- I don't.
1163
00:53:23,542 --> 00:53:24,917
With you...
1164
00:53:26,333 --> 00:53:28,667
everything just feels right, I guess.
1165
00:53:46,625 --> 00:53:48,500
- Hmm! Whoa, whoa!
1166
00:53:48,500 --> 00:53:50,000
Ah, back it up.
1167
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:51,958
- What?
- Uh, we're not doing that.
1168
00:53:51,958 --> 00:53:54,042
- I thought you wanted
to give everything a test run.
1169
00:53:54,042 --> 00:53:55,458
- Not that.
1170
00:53:55,458 --> 00:53:56,875
- Okay.
1171
00:53:56,875 --> 00:53:59,917
Okay, s-sorry, I just... I thought that...
1172
00:53:59,917 --> 00:54:02,833
- Well, then you weren't
thinking with your brain, Larson.
1173
00:54:02,833 --> 00:54:06,292
Well, you just launched a harpoon
without tying the rope off.
1174
00:54:06,292 --> 00:54:07,167
- I'll tie it off.
1175
00:54:07,167 --> 00:54:10,208
I have several ropes: ribbed ropes,
organic ropes, prelubed ropes...
1176
00:54:10,208 --> 00:54:12,292
- Okay, reel it in, Skipper.
1177
00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:15,500
- But... you want to?
1178
00:54:17,250 --> 00:54:18,375
Gilligan?
1179
00:54:19,667 --> 00:54:22,875
- Okay, first of all,
I am clearly Professor Roy Hinkley...
1180
00:54:23,667 --> 00:54:26,083
and that was never part of the plan.
1181
00:54:26,708 --> 00:54:28,833
Our dynamic needs to remain
strictly professional
1182
00:54:28,833 --> 00:54:30,667
for the sake of the experiment.
1183
00:54:35,250 --> 00:54:36,375
[Larson sighs]
1184
00:54:44,583 --> 00:54:46,750
- You know, my hypothesis...
1185
00:54:46,750 --> 00:54:48,875
- Which was null and void.
- By you.
1186
00:54:50,292 --> 00:54:52,875
But I think...
1187
00:54:53,792 --> 00:54:55,208
love leads to sex
1188
00:54:55,208 --> 00:54:58,167
and sex leads to love
and that's how you get chemistry.
1189
00:54:59,417 --> 00:55:00,625
It's intertwined.
1190
00:55:03,083 --> 00:55:04,292
- Wait, hold on.
1191
00:55:04,292 --> 00:55:06,167
Let me explain the chemistry to you.
1192
00:55:06,167 --> 00:55:08,417
So, even prolonged eye contact
1193
00:55:08,417 --> 00:55:10,542
sends signals to your brain
to release dopamine--
1194
00:55:10,542 --> 00:55:11,625
- Forget the chemicals.
1195
00:55:12,750 --> 00:55:16,042
I'm saying love and sex are interwoven.
1196
00:55:18,125 --> 00:55:21,917
AVERY: No, love has nothing to do
with good sexual experiences.
1197
00:55:21,917 --> 00:55:23,708
I mean, we had just proven that.
1198
00:55:23,708 --> 00:55:25,708
The experiment was a success.
1199
00:55:25,708 --> 00:55:27,625
I finally had all the data I needed.
1200
00:55:27,625 --> 00:55:30,708
Now I only had a week to put it
all together and complete the app.
1201
00:55:30,708 --> 00:55:32,583
NIKKI: Think of your body
like a game of Twister.
1202
00:55:32,583 --> 00:55:33,708
STUDENT: Oop! You found the one.
1203
00:55:33,708 --> 00:55:35,167
BIANCA: Gotta have a strong hold
on the base.
1204
00:55:35,167 --> 00:55:36,208
STUDENT: It's all about the tip.
1205
00:55:36,208 --> 00:55:38,750
LARSON: It's only a successful mission
if we both enjoy it.
1206
00:55:38,750 --> 00:55:40,958
FRANK: Stimulating the clitoris is key.
DANICA: Do some finger painting.
1207
00:55:40,958 --> 00:55:43,250
FRANK: Partner-pleasure approaches,
the rock-and roll...
MARLA: Yes!
1208
00:55:43,250 --> 00:55:44,875
FRANK: ...the surf's up,
the double-action revolver.
1209
00:55:44,875 --> 00:55:46,292
MS. RUSSELL: It starts at D...
MARLA: Yes!
1210
00:55:46,292 --> 00:55:47,250
MS. RUSSELL:
...and goes deep into G.
1211
00:55:47,250 --> 00:55:49,000
- Voilà!
MARLA: Yes!
1212
00:55:50,708 --> 00:55:52,208
Yesss!
1213
00:55:53,167 --> 00:55:55,000
SPOCK: Update complete.
1214
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,625
How may I assist you?
1215
00:55:56,625 --> 00:56:00,042
AVERY:
Spock, how does one have good sex?
1216
00:56:00,042 --> 00:56:03,625
SPOCK: Based on current data,
good sex is achieved by:
1217
00:56:03,625 --> 00:56:07,875
one, self-exploration to discover
personalized pleasure;
1218
00:56:07,875 --> 00:56:11,292
two, communicate likes
and dislikes to partner;
1219
00:56:11,292 --> 00:56:13,750
three, give and receive consent;
1220
00:56:13,750 --> 00:56:16,042
four, engage in foreplay,
1221
00:56:16,042 --> 00:56:18,917
including ears, neck, back, buttocks,
1222
00:56:18,917 --> 00:56:20,875
nipples, clitoris...
1223
00:56:22,083 --> 00:56:23,917
[doorbell rings]
1224
00:56:27,667 --> 00:56:29,167
[door opens]
1225
00:56:29,167 --> 00:56:30,667
LARSON: Hey.
- Hey.
1226
00:56:34,167 --> 00:56:35,500
Uh... Uh...
1227
00:56:35,500 --> 00:56:36,500
- Oop.
- Yeah.
1228
00:56:36,500 --> 00:56:39,500
I saw that there was an exhibit
at the science museum
1229
00:56:39,500 --> 00:56:41,333
on bioluminescence.
1230
00:56:41,333 --> 00:56:44,083
It's only here for another week,
so you wanna go tonight?
1231
00:56:44,083 --> 00:56:46,292
- Oh, I caught that opening weekend.
1232
00:56:47,167 --> 00:56:49,208
Besides, I have STEMCON tomorrow.
1233
00:56:49,208 --> 00:56:51,500
- Right, yeah, that's why,
you know, I thought
1234
00:56:51,500 --> 00:56:54,125
maybe we could do something fun
before you go.
1235
00:56:54,125 --> 00:56:57,125
- Well, it's the night before the big day.
1236
00:56:57,125 --> 00:56:59,625
I need all my energy focused
on mental preparation,
1237
00:56:59,625 --> 00:57:02,667
but I appreciate your assistance
and support,
1238
00:57:02,667 --> 00:57:05,750
and, um, I'll see you when
I get back with all the details.
1239
00:57:08,667 --> 00:57:10,750
- Avery, every, everything that we did...
1240
00:57:13,125 --> 00:57:14,667
how did it make you feel?
1241
00:57:14,667 --> 00:57:16,208
- Um...
1242
00:57:16,208 --> 00:57:18,208
amazing. [laughs]
1243
00:57:18,208 --> 00:57:20,833
Think there was concrete evidence of that.
1244
00:57:22,292 --> 00:57:23,917
- Anything change for you?
1245
00:57:24,792 --> 00:57:28,083
- I'm in the top third
of the third percentile now?
1246
00:57:28,083 --> 00:57:30,542
- Did anything else change for you?
1247
00:57:30,542 --> 00:57:32,833
- Come on, I gotta get back to my prep.
1248
00:57:32,833 --> 00:57:35,667
- So that's it, if we're not doing
your experiment, we can't hang?
1249
00:57:35,667 --> 00:57:39,292
- Larson, this is my prom, remember?
1250
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:43,500
I mean, like any teen girl,
it's rightfully consuming my thoughts.
1251
00:57:43,500 --> 00:57:46,000
- I get it, I get it.
Um...
1252
00:57:47,333 --> 00:57:48,833
Have a nice prom.
1253
00:57:48,833 --> 00:57:52,792
I got two tickets to the exhibit, so...
1254
00:57:53,583 --> 00:57:55,375
I'll just go twice.
1255
00:57:55,917 --> 00:57:57,167
Double matinee.
1256
00:57:57,167 --> 00:57:59,833
I'm gonna learn a shit ton
about biolumes.
1257
00:58:01,625 --> 00:58:02,917
I guess.
1258
00:58:02,917 --> 00:58:04,333
[softly] Ah, fuck.
1259
00:58:04,333 --> 00:58:06,208
- Hey, Larson.
- Have a good trip.
1260
00:58:11,125 --> 00:58:12,458
- Okay.
1261
00:58:12,458 --> 00:58:14,667
SPOCK:
Please upload your app logo.
1262
00:58:15,625 --> 00:58:19,500
Congratulations,
your Sex Appeal app is complete.
1263
00:58:19,500 --> 00:58:21,292
[phone buzzing]
1264
00:58:23,750 --> 00:58:25,083
- There's my girl.
1265
00:58:25,083 --> 00:58:27,875
[Avery humming]
1266
00:58:27,875 --> 00:58:29,375
Are you humming?
1267
00:58:30,208 --> 00:58:31,708
- Ah, yep.
1268
00:58:32,583 --> 00:58:33,750
Mm!
1269
00:58:33,750 --> 00:58:36,208
Whoa, these pancakes are delightful.
1270
00:58:36,208 --> 00:58:38,208
- Well, I used ghee.
1271
00:58:38,208 --> 00:58:40,750
I cannot find our coconut oil.
1272
00:58:40,750 --> 00:58:43,083
[Avery clears throat]
[Mama Suze sighs]
1273
00:58:43,083 --> 00:58:44,292
AVERY: Weird.
1274
00:58:45,042 --> 00:58:47,375
STEMCON was finally here,
1275
00:58:47,375 --> 00:58:49,667
my chance to cement my name
in STEM history
1276
00:58:49,667 --> 00:58:51,917
and kick off my scientific career.
1277
00:58:51,917 --> 00:58:54,375
[cheering]
- So beautiful!
1278
00:58:54,375 --> 00:58:56,417
[all talking at once]
1279
00:59:00,167 --> 00:59:03,042
- Okay, let me take one of the three...
[indistinct chatter]
1280
00:59:03,042 --> 00:59:05,500
- This is STEMCON, I don't...
- Oh, just take it.
1281
00:59:05,500 --> 00:59:07,583
- Be safe.
- Okay, bye. Love you!
1282
00:59:07,583 --> 00:59:09,417
- Use protection.
[door opens]
1283
00:59:09,417 --> 00:59:11,750
Aw, she is gonna nail it!
1284
00:59:11,750 --> 00:59:13,583
[door closes]
1285
00:59:14,208 --> 00:59:16,250
AVERY: But first, the big night.
1286
00:59:16,250 --> 00:59:19,167
I was gonna rock Larson's world.
1287
00:59:19,167 --> 00:59:21,417
Wait, did I say Larson?
[clears throat]
1288
00:59:21,417 --> 00:59:24,083
I mean, Casper. Casper's world.
1289
00:59:24,083 --> 00:59:26,583
- ...but the future of it all is...
1290
00:59:26,583 --> 00:59:29,083
- Casper, hi.
- Avery, oh, my God.
1291
00:59:29,083 --> 00:59:31,333
Oh, I'm so happy you're here.
1292
00:59:31,333 --> 00:59:34,042
AVERY: This was the night
I was to rock Casper's world.
1293
00:59:35,667 --> 00:59:37,625
- ...personal financial advice
1294
00:59:37,625 --> 00:59:40,833
just a tap away.
1295
00:59:40,833 --> 00:59:42,083
Fi-Tap.
1296
00:59:42,083 --> 00:59:43,542
Financing for college-bound...
1297
00:59:43,542 --> 00:59:46,833
AVERY: I said Larson a second ago
because there was all this adrenaline
1298
00:59:46,833 --> 00:59:48,833
from preparation
for the approaching event,
1299
00:59:48,833 --> 00:59:52,042
but it's not like I was suddenly
falling for Larson or anything.
1300
00:59:52,042 --> 00:59:55,292
Just wanna be clear,
'cause that was not the plan.
1301
00:59:55,292 --> 00:59:57,042
[applause]
1302
01:00:00,083 --> 01:00:01,583
[Avery giggles]
[head thuds]
1303
01:00:01,583 --> 01:00:03,375
Ow!
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1304
01:00:03,375 --> 01:00:05,583
Oh, Jesus. All right?
- Yeah, it's all right.
1305
01:00:05,583 --> 01:00:06,458
- All right.
1306
01:00:06,458 --> 01:00:09,542
SPOCK: To enhance the mood,
turn off the lights,
1307
01:00:09,542 --> 01:00:11,417
but have one main light source
from the left
1308
01:00:11,417 --> 01:00:13,625
for optional visibility.
1309
01:00:13,625 --> 01:00:15,958
- Oh, actually, I think it's that... No.
- Just do it.
1310
01:00:15,958 --> 01:00:17,875
- The left side, I think.
He said the left side.
1311
01:00:17,875 --> 01:00:19,833
- Left. Your left or mine?
1312
01:00:19,833 --> 01:00:22,042
[giggles]
- All right.
1313
01:00:22,042 --> 01:00:26,417
SPOCK: To heighten the experience,
employ music pleasing to the subject.
1314
01:00:26,417 --> 01:00:28,792
- No, I made a playlist.
- Oh.
1315
01:00:28,792 --> 01:00:30,792
Spot on. This is spot on.
- Yeah.
1316
01:00:30,792 --> 01:00:31,958
[both laugh]
1317
01:00:31,958 --> 01:00:33,333
SPOCK: Do you both consent?
1318
01:00:33,333 --> 01:00:35,667
- I do.
- I do. [laughs]
1319
01:00:35,667 --> 01:00:37,500
SPOCK: Foreplay may begin.
1320
01:00:37,500 --> 01:00:39,042
- Wha...
- It's...
1321
01:00:42,792 --> 01:00:44,458
SPOCK: Engage erogenous zones,
1322
01:00:44,458 --> 01:00:50,417
including ears, neck, back,
behind the knees, buttocks, elbows.
1323
01:00:52,167 --> 01:00:53,583
- Ooh!
- Jeez! Ow, God.
1324
01:00:53,583 --> 01:00:55,792
- I hit you.
SPOCK: Switch e-zones.
1325
01:00:55,792 --> 01:00:58,958
Nipples are stimulating
for both males and females.
1326
01:00:58,958 --> 01:01:00,333
- Nipples.
1327
01:01:07,292 --> 01:01:09,250
Are you there yet?
- Okay. Oop.
1328
01:01:09,250 --> 01:01:10,875
- Oh, yeah!
- Yeah?
1329
01:01:10,875 --> 01:01:11,917
- No.
1330
01:01:11,917 --> 01:01:13,875
SPOCK: When arousal has occurred,
1331
01:01:13,875 --> 01:01:16,583
subjects may employ choice contraception.
1332
01:01:17,458 --> 01:01:19,250
- Yeah, yeah! [laughs]
1333
01:01:19,250 --> 01:01:20,792
- Um...
- Uh, I have one.
1334
01:01:20,792 --> 01:01:22,042
Here you are.
1335
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,208
- "Microthin extra lubricated."
1336
01:01:26,208 --> 01:01:27,667
"Piña colada."
1337
01:01:28,625 --> 01:01:31,625
Such a complex flavor.
- Oh! So I've heard.
1338
01:01:31,625 --> 01:01:33,708
SPOCK: Do you both consent?
1339
01:01:33,708 --> 01:01:35,875
- I do.
- Hell yeah.
1340
01:01:38,167 --> 01:01:39,167
- Oh.
1341
01:01:46,542 --> 01:01:49,417
- I love your brain.
- I love your brain.
1342
01:01:59,333 --> 01:02:02,125
SPOCK:
You are now achieving good sex.
1343
01:02:02,125 --> 01:02:03,792
Congratulations.
1344
01:02:07,125 --> 01:02:09,208
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1345
01:02:09,208 --> 01:02:10,583
- There you go.
- You sure?
1346
01:02:10,583 --> 01:02:13,083
- Mm-hmm.
- Um...
1347
01:02:13,083 --> 01:02:14,333
- Um...
1348
01:02:14,333 --> 01:02:17,167
- Do you maybe wanna try on top, maybe?
- Yeah.
1349
01:02:18,667 --> 01:02:20,625
- Okay?
- Okay.
1350
01:02:20,625 --> 01:02:22,708
- Nice.
- Ah, yeah.
1351
01:02:27,042 --> 01:02:28,500
- All right.
- Mm.
1352
01:02:39,208 --> 01:02:40,875
- Sh-Should we stop?
1353
01:02:44,458 --> 01:02:45,625
- Yeah.
1354
01:02:46,125 --> 01:02:47,708
- Okay. All right.
1355
01:02:47,708 --> 01:02:48,792
[clears throat]
1356
01:02:51,958 --> 01:02:53,292
[clears throat]
1357
01:03:02,708 --> 01:03:04,000
[Avery clicks tongue]
1358
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:05,292
- Okay.
1359
01:03:05,292 --> 01:03:06,583
Uh...
1360
01:03:06,583 --> 01:03:07,708
- Okay.
1361
01:03:12,458 --> 01:03:15,667
♪ White silver stripes ♪
1362
01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:19,167
♪ Blue dot, black star ♪
1363
01:03:22,458 --> 01:03:26,875
♪ Big dreamin' little ants ♪
1364
01:03:26,875 --> 01:03:31,083
♪ It's just who we are ♪
1365
01:03:33,792 --> 01:03:37,625
♪ I want to change ♪
1366
01:03:38,667 --> 01:03:42,417
♪ I want to change what's to come ♪
1367
01:03:43,917 --> 01:03:47,792
♪ I want to change ♪
1368
01:03:48,375 --> 01:03:52,458
♪ I want to change the subject ♪
1369
01:03:53,833 --> 01:03:57,292
♪ I want to change... ♪
1370
01:03:57,292 --> 01:04:00,458
♪ rock band playing ♪
1371
01:04:00,458 --> 01:04:01,875
[applause]
1372
01:04:01,875 --> 01:04:05,542
EMCEE: Now, welcome to the stage
our reigning champion,
1373
01:04:05,542 --> 01:04:07,833
sure to dazzle us yet again,
1374
01:04:07,833 --> 01:04:10,542
Ms. Avery Hansen-White!
1375
01:04:10,542 --> 01:04:11,625
[cheering]
1376
01:04:16,375 --> 01:04:18,625
STUDENT: We love you, Avery!
1377
01:04:22,042 --> 01:04:25,750
AVERY: How was I going to sell an app
to an entire room of people
1378
01:04:25,750 --> 01:04:27,750
when I knew it didn't work?
1379
01:04:27,750 --> 01:04:32,000
I was terrified that my first
sexual encounter would be a failure.
1380
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:34,250
We've all been there, am I right?
1381
01:04:34,250 --> 01:04:35,667
[audience silent]
1382
01:04:35,667 --> 01:04:37,792
[scattered murmuring]
1383
01:04:39,458 --> 01:04:43,542
What if you could erase
all that fear of failure
1384
01:04:43,542 --> 01:04:46,042
from your first time
with a sexual partner?
1385
01:04:46,042 --> 01:04:50,167
What if there was an app
designed to prepare its user
1386
01:04:50,167 --> 01:04:53,792
for a mutually appealing
and successful experience?
1387
01:04:58,708 --> 01:05:00,667
♪
1388
01:05:09,708 --> 01:05:13,000
Imagine if you had Sex Appeal.
1389
01:05:16,125 --> 01:05:18,417
[murmuring continues]
1390
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:30,417
I'm really sorry, um...
1391
01:05:31,500 --> 01:05:34,125
I withdraw my, my presentation.
1392
01:05:34,125 --> 01:05:36,292
I... Thank you.
1393
01:05:36,292 --> 01:05:38,250
[confused murmuring]
1394
01:05:40,208 --> 01:05:42,042
EMCEE: Ms. Hansen-White?
1395
01:05:44,333 --> 01:05:47,458
[applause]
- Thank you so much. Thanks.
1396
01:05:47,458 --> 01:05:48,792
GIRL: Thank you.
1397
01:05:53,333 --> 01:05:55,792
- Thank you.
- Thank you. Thank you.
1398
01:05:55,792 --> 01:05:57,875
[applause continues]
1399
01:06:10,250 --> 01:06:13,000
- All that build-up, you know,
all the anticipation,
1400
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:15,125
and it wasn't really anything.
1401
01:06:15,125 --> 01:06:18,083
And, you know, given that it was
technically a milestone event,
1402
01:06:18,083 --> 01:06:19,792
it was so uneventful.
1403
01:06:19,792 --> 01:06:21,042
[scoffs] And I don't know,
1404
01:06:21,042 --> 01:06:22,500
I thought I'd feel...
1405
01:06:23,417 --> 01:06:24,542
different?
1406
01:06:24,542 --> 01:06:26,458
- Well, maybe that's the problem, Avery.
1407
01:06:27,833 --> 01:06:31,167
You don't seem to feel anything.
1408
01:06:32,542 --> 01:06:34,208
Or care about anyone.
1409
01:06:34,917 --> 01:06:36,500
- What?
1410
01:06:36,500 --> 01:06:38,500
That's not true.
I mean, I care about you.
1411
01:06:38,500 --> 01:06:39,542
- Right.
1412
01:06:45,417 --> 01:06:48,125
Okay, well, I have homework, so...
1413
01:06:48,125 --> 01:06:51,333
- Cool. I'll do it for you,
and then we can hang.
1414
01:06:51,333 --> 01:06:54,125
- I can't do that with you, Avery.
- Why not?
1415
01:06:54,125 --> 01:06:56,333
- Do you actually think
I'm into bioluminescence?
1416
01:06:57,000 --> 01:07:00,167
- I mean, I'm guessing you're not
for the sake of your argument,
1417
01:07:00,167 --> 01:07:02,292
but... everyone should be.
1418
01:07:02,292 --> 01:07:03,958
- Well, they're not.
1419
01:07:03,958 --> 01:07:06,625
Avery, let me explain something to you.
1420
01:07:07,542 --> 01:07:09,417
I have always cared about you.
1421
01:07:10,500 --> 01:07:12,167
That boob graze, I...
1422
01:07:12,875 --> 01:07:16,792
I was an idiot 14-year-old getting advice
from other idiot 14-year-olds
1423
01:07:16,792 --> 01:07:19,708
who told me if I wanted to be
more than friends with you,
1424
01:07:19,708 --> 01:07:21,917
I needed to make a move.
1425
01:07:21,917 --> 01:07:23,167
So I did.
1426
01:07:23,792 --> 01:07:26,042
And you rejected me, and that's fine.
1427
01:07:26,042 --> 01:07:30,375
But I spent the next three years
trying really hard to move on.
1428
01:07:31,167 --> 01:07:32,917
And I finally did.
1429
01:07:34,167 --> 01:07:37,375
But then you suck me back in
with this thing that I didn't want to do
1430
01:07:37,375 --> 01:07:38,667
and here I am again.
1431
01:07:39,750 --> 01:07:40,708
And I'm done.
1432
01:07:40,708 --> 01:07:43,917
I'm done waiting for the moment
where you...
1433
01:07:44,583 --> 01:07:46,125
change your mind about me.
1434
01:07:47,833 --> 01:07:49,292
About us.
1435
01:07:50,375 --> 01:07:51,458
- Us?
1436
01:07:52,542 --> 01:07:55,208
I mean, Larson, I'm moving
to Massachusetts in the fall,
1437
01:07:55,208 --> 01:07:57,208
so it just wouldn't be practical.
1438
01:07:57,208 --> 01:08:00,625
- Practical? Jesus, Avery!
What about emotional, huh?
1439
01:08:00,625 --> 01:08:03,125
- Okay, well, you do seem
to be getting a little emotional.
1440
01:08:03,125 --> 01:08:05,083
- Yeah... You know what?
1441
01:08:05,083 --> 01:08:06,458
You... you're right.
1442
01:08:08,042 --> 01:08:09,875
I have no place to be upset.
1443
01:08:11,458 --> 01:08:12,708
This grew for me.
1444
01:08:13,500 --> 01:08:15,625
It didn't grow for you, and that...
1445
01:08:16,500 --> 01:08:18,042
that just sucks.
1446
01:08:18,042 --> 01:08:21,042
- Well, I never said
that it didn't grow for me.
1447
01:08:21,042 --> 01:08:22,958
- Do you have feelings for me?
1448
01:08:24,250 --> 01:08:25,792
- I mean, I...
1449
01:08:25,792 --> 01:08:27,708
- You...?
1450
01:08:28,958 --> 01:08:30,375
- I mean...
1451
01:08:30,375 --> 01:08:32,417
- Come on, Avery,
you always have an answer.
1452
01:08:32,417 --> 01:08:35,542
- Yeah, well, I wanna have
the right answer.
1453
01:08:42,042 --> 01:08:44,208
I...
1454
01:08:44,208 --> 01:08:46,375
- I don't wanna be
your guinea pig anymore.
1455
01:08:48,583 --> 01:08:50,083
- Hey, you're not.
1456
01:08:50,083 --> 01:08:51,250
- Really?
1457
01:08:52,208 --> 01:08:55,875
Then why do you always ask
to experiment on me and never with me?
1458
01:08:57,500 --> 01:08:59,083
- Larson... hang on.
1459
01:08:59,083 --> 01:09:00,792
We both were practicing...
1460
01:09:00,792 --> 01:09:02,833
- For you, Avery!
1461
01:09:02,833 --> 01:09:05,208
- We both agreed to everything.
1462
01:09:05,208 --> 01:09:09,292
Are you upset that I slept
with Casper instead of you?
1463
01:09:13,292 --> 01:09:14,625
- No.
1464
01:09:14,625 --> 01:09:16,542
No, I'm glad we didn't.
1465
01:09:17,625 --> 01:09:20,542
Because I'm waiting to be
with someone who cares about me
1466
01:09:20,542 --> 01:09:22,167
as much as I care about them.
1467
01:09:24,083 --> 01:09:27,167
So... it would have been a big mistake.
1468
01:09:59,083 --> 01:10:01,542
AVERY:
Maybe Larson was right.
1469
01:10:01,542 --> 01:10:04,292
Maybe I should have considered
his hypothesis
1470
01:10:04,292 --> 01:10:06,750
that love and sex were intertwined.
1471
01:10:06,750 --> 01:10:08,625
Was that the missing data?
1472
01:10:08,625 --> 01:10:12,042
Had I disregarded
a crucial piece of intel?
1473
01:10:12,542 --> 01:10:15,917
- The best part about sex
is for sure the love.
1474
01:10:15,917 --> 01:10:17,708
- There is no greater feeling.
1475
01:10:17,708 --> 01:10:19,667
It's beyond a physical feeling.
1476
01:10:19,667 --> 01:10:23,458
- The idea that you could be
completely naked with someone
1477
01:10:23,458 --> 01:10:26,125
and be totally comfortable, that's...
1478
01:10:27,083 --> 01:10:28,708
that's incredible.
1479
01:10:28,708 --> 01:10:30,792
That's like next level trust.
1480
01:10:30,792 --> 01:10:33,542
- You just want to spend
every second with them,
1481
01:10:33,542 --> 01:10:35,542
want to share everything with them.
1482
01:10:36,542 --> 01:10:38,167
If you lose them...
1483
01:10:38,167 --> 01:10:40,333
- If that trust is broken...
1484
01:10:40,333 --> 01:10:42,208
- The emptiness, it's...
1485
01:10:42,208 --> 01:10:43,583
suffocating.
1486
01:10:43,583 --> 01:10:46,333
- My ex broke up with me over text, and...
1487
01:10:46,333 --> 01:10:48,333
he didn't even give me a reason.
1488
01:10:48,333 --> 01:10:51,583
- Best way to get over someone
is to get under someone else.
1489
01:10:52,708 --> 01:10:53,958
Doesn't really work like that.
1490
01:10:53,958 --> 01:10:57,792
- When Melissa Delazzo started sitting
with Dwayne on the bus instead of me...
1491
01:10:58,625 --> 01:11:01,958
it was like I lost the rudder
to the ship of myself.
1492
01:11:02,667 --> 01:11:07,125
- To quote T. Swift, "I never heard
a silence quite this loud."
1493
01:11:07,125 --> 01:11:09,375
[sobbing]
- I know.
1494
01:11:09,375 --> 01:11:11,125
Just... please.
1495
01:11:11,125 --> 01:11:12,292
- Feelings.
1496
01:11:14,125 --> 01:11:15,958
You can't control shit.
1497
01:11:15,958 --> 01:11:18,917
- Rejection can have you shattered
into a million pieces.
1498
01:11:18,917 --> 01:11:21,333
- All of a sudden,
you're reaching out for this person
1499
01:11:21,333 --> 01:11:24,708
who was always there before,
but now they're gone.
1500
01:11:25,250 --> 01:11:28,625
- Truth is, you don't... you don't
just lose a piece of your heart,
1501
01:11:28,625 --> 01:11:29,833
you lose...
1502
01:11:32,250 --> 01:11:33,917
you lose your best friend.
1503
01:11:43,417 --> 01:11:45,292
- Hey, hon, how are you feeling?
1504
01:11:45,292 --> 01:11:46,958
- Fine. Shut the door.
1505
01:11:46,958 --> 01:11:48,625
MAMA SUZE: Are you su...
1506
01:11:49,375 --> 01:11:52,167
Need to just talk a little? Okay.
- Shut the door. Nope. Nope.
1507
01:11:53,292 --> 01:11:55,542
- What are you feeling?
Name your feelings by name.
1508
01:11:55,542 --> 01:11:57,042
- Shut the door!
1509
01:11:57,042 --> 01:11:59,500
MAMA SUZE: I told you
she's not gonna talk to you.
- Please!
1510
01:12:01,167 --> 01:12:02,375
[Avery groans]
1511
01:12:02,375 --> 01:12:05,208
MAMA SUZE: Get in there! Go!
AVERY: Oh, my...
1512
01:12:06,292 --> 01:12:08,625
- Oh, yay, it's my turn.
1513
01:12:08,625 --> 01:12:12,250
- [whines] Maternal figures multiplying.
1514
01:12:12,250 --> 01:12:13,542
- I know.
1515
01:12:13,542 --> 01:12:15,083
Go easy on me.
1516
01:12:21,292 --> 01:12:22,708
Look, I...
1517
01:12:22,708 --> 01:12:23,917
I'm here for you,
1518
01:12:23,917 --> 01:12:26,292
and I'm just gonna sit here
till you ask me to leave.
1519
01:12:35,333 --> 01:12:36,917
- I lost...
1520
01:12:36,917 --> 01:12:38,417
- STEMCON?
1521
01:12:39,833 --> 01:12:41,083
- That too, I guess.
1522
01:12:41,083 --> 01:12:43,750
- Oh, your virginity.
1523
01:12:44,292 --> 01:12:46,042
- Hmm, that too.
1524
01:12:48,458 --> 01:12:51,458
No, that's not what I mean.
- Oh, shit. What else did you lose?
1525
01:12:52,333 --> 01:12:54,292
- The only real friend I've ever had.
1526
01:12:55,417 --> 01:12:56,750
- Oh.
1527
01:12:59,833 --> 01:13:03,417
So that means they lost someone
special to them too.
1528
01:13:04,708 --> 01:13:06,375
- I hadn't considered that.
1529
01:13:07,125 --> 01:13:09,833
- Yeah, that's the thing
with friendship or sex.
1530
01:13:12,333 --> 01:13:13,500
- You may continue.
1531
01:13:14,292 --> 01:13:17,833
- Yeah, so the key
to a good friendship or good sex
1532
01:13:17,833 --> 01:13:21,542
is, um, it's about giving, not taking.
1533
01:13:21,542 --> 01:13:24,208
So luckily, like sex,
friendship is something
1534
01:13:24,208 --> 01:13:27,792
that you can get better at
with practice.
1535
01:13:28,750 --> 01:13:31,542
- That lands.
1536
01:13:33,458 --> 01:13:34,958
Good job, Kim.
1537
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:37,083
- Cool.
1538
01:13:38,208 --> 01:13:40,292
[sighs] Glad I could help.
1539
01:13:41,417 --> 01:13:44,167
This teen crisis has been so stressful.
1540
01:13:45,083 --> 01:13:46,792
Okay, good.
1541
01:13:47,375 --> 01:13:49,500
- What did she say?
Tell her to name her feelings and...
1542
01:13:49,500 --> 01:13:52,917
- Oh, my God.
- Don't ask me to name my feelings.
1543
01:13:52,917 --> 01:13:53,958
- Okay.
1544
01:13:55,458 --> 01:13:56,542
But...
1545
01:13:56,542 --> 01:13:59,292
he probably needs to know how you feel.
1546
01:13:59,292 --> 01:14:00,625
So...
1547
01:14:00,625 --> 01:14:03,417
when you know, you should tell him.
1548
01:14:03,417 --> 01:14:05,958
- Like I gotta go get the guy?
1549
01:14:05,958 --> 01:14:08,375
- Yeah. And speak from the heart.
1550
01:14:08,375 --> 01:14:10,375
It's the best way back into his.
1551
01:14:15,333 --> 01:14:16,458
Okay.
1552
01:14:16,458 --> 01:14:18,875
I don't know why I did that. Okay.
1553
01:14:20,667 --> 01:14:22,792
I did it.
MAMA SUZE: That went great!
1554
01:14:22,792 --> 01:14:24,042
MA DEB: Yay!
1555
01:14:27,250 --> 01:14:32,042
♪ playing Sousa march ♪
1556
01:14:33,208 --> 01:14:35,333
- Ahem. Excuse me. So sorry.
1557
01:14:38,250 --> 01:14:42,125
Larson, your hypothesis was correct.
1558
01:14:42,125 --> 01:14:46,125
Love and sex are absolutely intertwined.
1559
01:14:47,125 --> 01:14:49,208
I've got an answer for you.
1560
01:14:49,208 --> 01:14:51,708
[Burl Ives singing
What Child is This?]
1561
01:14:54,792 --> 01:14:57,208
My answer is that there is no answer.
1562
01:14:58,583 --> 01:15:02,000
There is no answer because
this isn't math or physics
1563
01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:03,542
or some kind of equation.
1564
01:15:03,542 --> 01:15:06,458
We got into this
under the pretense of an experiment,
1565
01:15:06,458 --> 01:15:10,875
and you're right, it evolved
into something much more.
1566
01:15:10,875 --> 01:15:12,375
♪ music continues on phone ♪
1567
01:15:15,083 --> 01:15:16,417
- [softly] Avery, please.
1568
01:15:16,417 --> 01:15:18,083
- Wait... Larson.
1569
01:15:18,083 --> 01:15:19,625
Larson!
1570
01:15:21,500 --> 01:15:26,417
- Look, I knew it would backfire,
and now things, they're just different.
1571
01:15:26,417 --> 01:15:27,958
But I'm good with it, okay?
1572
01:15:28,667 --> 01:15:30,083
AVERY: Wait, wait, hang on.
1573
01:15:30,083 --> 01:15:32,458
Larson, it's not that I don't
feel something for you.
1574
01:15:32,458 --> 01:15:33,625
Okay?
1575
01:15:33,625 --> 01:15:36,042
Look, I... I do.
1576
01:15:36,042 --> 01:15:39,375
I feel more than I've ever felt
for a person, and...
1577
01:15:39,375 --> 01:15:42,167
if I had known that I was hurting you,
I never would have--
1578
01:15:42,167 --> 01:15:43,250
- Would have what?
1579
01:15:44,708 --> 01:15:46,458
- The experiment.
1580
01:15:47,250 --> 01:15:48,958
But it wasn't for nothing.
1581
01:15:48,958 --> 01:15:52,167
Because I learned how much
I truly care about you.
1582
01:15:52,167 --> 01:15:54,000
- Avery, you were right.
1583
01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:55,375
You're the crocodile.
1584
01:15:56,583 --> 01:15:58,750
But the crocodile can live alone
in that swamp.
1585
01:15:59,292 --> 01:16:01,458
And that is okay.
1586
01:16:01,458 --> 01:16:04,583
'Cause we need people like you
who are gonna change that swamp
1587
01:16:04,583 --> 01:16:07,667
with their achievements
and discoveries and...
1588
01:16:07,667 --> 01:16:11,375
but we need birds like me
who are gonna love them
1589
01:16:11,375 --> 01:16:13,792
for being exactly that.
1590
01:16:14,750 --> 01:16:18,583
But for that symbiosis
to work in the world...
1591
01:16:22,375 --> 01:16:24,875
the bird really needs
to go fly with other birds.
1592
01:16:34,417 --> 01:16:35,708
AVERY: Larson, wait!
1593
01:16:40,333 --> 01:16:41,708
Go to prom with me.
1594
01:16:42,208 --> 01:16:45,625
- [scoffs] What?
- Yeah. Let's go to prom.
1595
01:16:47,125 --> 01:16:48,333
- No.
1596
01:16:49,167 --> 01:16:50,792
- Why?
1597
01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:56,208
- You said it yourself, it's just a bunch
of overhyped, superfluous--
1598
01:16:56,208 --> 01:16:57,583
- No, you were right, okay?
1599
01:16:57,583 --> 01:17:00,208
We never did any
of the fun high school stuff.
1600
01:17:02,792 --> 01:17:05,500
- I don't wanna go. I'm over it.
1601
01:17:06,250 --> 01:17:09,500
- I don't... I don't believe that.
1602
01:17:10,958 --> 01:17:12,542
Come on, we should go.
1603
01:17:14,625 --> 01:17:16,958
You, me, prom.
1604
01:17:20,917 --> 01:17:22,750
- I thought STEM was your prom.
1605
01:17:25,875 --> 01:17:27,167
- Larson.
1606
01:17:31,917 --> 01:17:33,333
- Avery, I gotta go.
1607
01:17:33,333 --> 01:17:35,583
- Well, I'll walk with you.
- I'm good.
1608
01:17:35,583 --> 01:17:38,167
- Look, I may not show it
in the same way, but...
1609
01:17:40,750 --> 01:17:42,208
I...
1610
01:17:42,208 --> 01:17:44,083
I love you.
1611
01:17:46,792 --> 01:17:48,417
I love you.
1612
01:17:52,333 --> 01:17:53,500
I love you.
1613
01:17:55,333 --> 01:17:56,583
Larson!
1614
01:17:57,750 --> 01:17:59,042
Larson!
1615
01:17:59,583 --> 01:18:01,083
[door clangs open]
1616
01:18:01,083 --> 01:18:02,417
Larson...
1617
01:18:02,417 --> 01:18:04,167
[door closes]
1618
01:18:10,917 --> 01:18:12,208
[sniffles]
1619
01:18:30,708 --> 01:18:32,417
- What are you doing here?
1620
01:18:32,417 --> 01:18:35,125
- I come up here every day
to cry and smoke.
1621
01:18:35,125 --> 01:18:36,917
Why are you in my spot?
1622
01:18:39,042 --> 01:18:41,000
Oh, shit.
1623
01:18:42,792 --> 01:18:43,875
All right.
1624
01:18:44,625 --> 01:18:45,750
Talk to me.
1625
01:18:45,750 --> 01:18:48,875
AVERY: I told her everything,
about the sexperiments,
1626
01:18:48,875 --> 01:18:52,208
failing STEMCON,
realizing I love Larson.
1627
01:18:52,208 --> 01:18:53,667
I messed up.
1628
01:18:53,667 --> 01:18:56,500
I was so focused on doing things right...
1629
01:18:56,500 --> 01:18:57,792
that I didn't...
1630
01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:02,250
I didn't realize that I was hurting him.
I failed him.
1631
01:19:02,250 --> 01:19:06,708
- Didn't Einstein fail a bunch of times
before he got it right?
1632
01:19:06,708 --> 01:19:10,875
- That is an exhausted anecdote,
overused by underachievers.
1633
01:19:10,875 --> 01:19:14,083
- You kids are overly worried
about getting good at the sex stuff.
1634
01:19:14,083 --> 01:19:15,875
That's the easy part.
1635
01:19:15,875 --> 01:19:18,625
It's the relationship that takes practice.
1636
01:19:18,625 --> 01:19:20,667
- How much practice?
1637
01:19:20,667 --> 01:19:25,167
Because I don't think I ever want
to feel like this again.
1638
01:19:25,167 --> 01:19:28,042
- All right, if your heart hurts,
your heart works.
1639
01:19:28,042 --> 01:19:31,542
You got one rep in, it'll be easier
to go there next time.
1640
01:19:31,542 --> 01:19:32,667
- Next time?
1641
01:19:33,292 --> 01:19:35,250
- Yeah.
- But what about Larson?
1642
01:19:35,250 --> 01:19:39,292
Is there any saving of friendship
that went beyond friendship?
1643
01:19:39,292 --> 01:19:40,667
- Sometimes.
1644
01:19:42,375 --> 01:19:46,083
And sometimes a person or friendship
is just part of the journey
1645
01:19:46,083 --> 01:19:47,708
to figuring your own shit out.
1646
01:19:51,708 --> 01:19:52,708
- Thank you.
1647
01:19:53,208 --> 01:19:55,292
- Eh, I got a few good ones in me.
1648
01:19:55,958 --> 01:19:57,208
[clicks tongue]
1649
01:19:58,292 --> 01:19:59,875
Stay safe.
1650
01:20:02,208 --> 01:20:04,208
Be prepared.
- Yeah.
1651
01:20:04,208 --> 01:20:07,458
- I will be back in ten minutes
to smoke this joint.
1652
01:20:08,125 --> 01:20:09,875
You better be gone.
- I'll be gone.
1653
01:20:09,875 --> 01:20:11,167
- Okay.
1654
01:20:16,625 --> 01:20:21,208
♪ student singing ballad ♪
1655
01:20:21,208 --> 01:20:23,583
[students chattering]
1656
01:20:23,583 --> 01:20:26,750
♪ But I'm dying to feel something ♪
1657
01:20:26,750 --> 01:20:28,958
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
1658
01:20:29,167 --> 01:20:31,583
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
1659
01:20:31,583 --> 01:20:34,292
♪ But you're still away ♪
1660
01:20:35,250 --> 01:20:39,083
♪ But I want you to stay ♪
1661
01:20:41,417 --> 01:20:42,917
- Hey.
1662
01:20:42,917 --> 01:20:44,333
I'm Avery.
1663
01:20:44,333 --> 01:20:45,333
- Hey.
1664
01:20:49,583 --> 01:20:53,042
- So, my buddy Larson really likes you.
1665
01:20:53,042 --> 01:20:55,375
- Larson? Like Larson Hecht?
1666
01:20:55,375 --> 01:20:57,875
- Yeah.
- Aren't you guys a thing?
1667
01:20:58,917 --> 01:21:00,125
- No. [laughs]
1668
01:21:01,875 --> 01:21:05,667
But, um, he's liked you for a while now.
1669
01:21:05,667 --> 01:21:07,542
He's incredible.
1670
01:21:07,542 --> 01:21:12,083
He's gonna make the right girl
so damn happy.
1671
01:21:12,083 --> 01:21:13,375
So...
1672
01:21:13,375 --> 01:21:16,792
if you like him,
you should ask him to prom.
1673
01:21:16,792 --> 01:21:18,583
- Well, why won't he just ask me?
1674
01:21:20,833 --> 01:21:22,458
- 'Cause he's been hurt.
1675
01:21:23,417 --> 01:21:24,833
And...
1676
01:21:26,167 --> 01:21:30,375
he doesn't want to put himself out there
in case he gets hurt again, so...
1677
01:21:31,958 --> 01:21:33,667
Or maybe you could just ask him.
1678
01:21:34,708 --> 01:21:36,083
He's worth it.
1679
01:21:36,708 --> 01:21:38,208
I promise.
1680
01:21:38,208 --> 01:21:39,542
- Okay.
1681
01:21:39,542 --> 01:21:41,708
Um... I think I will.
1682
01:21:41,708 --> 01:21:42,750
Thanks.
1683
01:21:48,292 --> 01:21:50,375
- [clicks tongue] Hey, cute girl.
1684
01:21:51,542 --> 01:21:53,000
You have a personality, right?
1685
01:21:53,000 --> 01:21:54,583
- Excuse me?
1686
01:21:54,583 --> 01:21:58,958
- Well, you're not just
some attractive object of pursuit.
1687
01:21:58,958 --> 01:22:01,000
I've seen this a lot
in the films I watched
1688
01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:02,750
in preparation for losing my virginity.
1689
01:22:05,125 --> 01:22:06,208
- Okay.
1690
01:22:07,500 --> 01:22:12,708
First of all, "cute" is a term I reserve
for instafamous hedgehogs.
1691
01:22:13,583 --> 01:22:17,292
I'm not a girl, I'm a young woman,
with an extensive list of interests,
1692
01:22:17,292 --> 01:22:19,500
and just because I practice
active listening,
1693
01:22:19,500 --> 01:22:21,417
doesn't mean I'm inarticulate
or submissive.
1694
01:22:21,417 --> 01:22:22,625
Hi.
1695
01:22:23,375 --> 01:22:25,167
My name's Lyssa.
1696
01:22:26,292 --> 01:22:27,500
- Nice to meet you.
1697
01:22:30,083 --> 01:22:31,750
Go get the guy, would ya?
1698
01:22:34,958 --> 01:22:37,833
TEACHER:
Why, such is love's transgression,
1699
01:22:37,833 --> 01:22:40,792
griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast.
1700
01:22:40,792 --> 01:22:43,792
[knock on door]
- Can I help you, Avery?
1701
01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:46,042
- Excuse me, sorry.
I, uh...
1702
01:22:46,042 --> 01:22:50,167
Just refer to your textbooks
for the rest of that enchanting passage.
1703
01:22:50,167 --> 01:22:51,750
I'll just be a moment.
1704
01:22:53,500 --> 01:22:54,708
Sorry, uh...
1705
01:22:54,708 --> 01:22:57,333
I... I just... I regraded my paper.
1706
01:22:57,333 --> 01:23:01,500
Um... you gave me an 89
and I deserved...
1707
01:23:01,500 --> 01:23:03,042
- An A-plus?
1708
01:23:03,042 --> 01:23:05,917
Avery, I'm a massive Trekkie.
1709
01:23:05,917 --> 01:23:07,583
None of the references were lost on me.
1710
01:23:07,583 --> 01:23:10,667
I just didn't find them relevant
in an essay about...
1711
01:23:11,833 --> 01:23:13,250
love.
1712
01:23:14,417 --> 01:23:16,792
Wow. That's a B.
1713
01:23:17,542 --> 01:23:19,708
That's a big ugly B regular.
1714
01:23:19,708 --> 01:23:22,875
- While those references were spot-on...
1715
01:23:23,708 --> 01:23:24,750
I missed the point.
1716
01:23:25,750 --> 01:23:28,208
You can't calculate for love.
1717
01:23:28,208 --> 01:23:31,625
You can only experience as much love
as you're willing to give.
1718
01:23:32,542 --> 01:23:34,208
That's the real choice.
1719
01:23:35,375 --> 01:23:36,875
I didn't get that, so...
1720
01:23:37,625 --> 01:23:38,833
I concede.
1721
01:23:38,833 --> 01:23:40,583
I don't deserve an A.
1722
01:23:40,583 --> 01:23:42,667
- That's very mature of you, Avery.
1723
01:23:42,667 --> 01:23:44,750
- Well, I am a woman now.
1724
01:23:44,750 --> 01:23:46,083
[muffled laughter]
1725
01:23:46,083 --> 01:23:47,875
Not because I popped my cherry.
1726
01:23:47,875 --> 01:23:48,917
Relax.
1727
01:23:48,917 --> 01:23:50,625
It's, I just...
1728
01:23:52,042 --> 01:23:55,042
learned that sometimes
you have to fail to grow.
1729
01:23:55,042 --> 01:23:57,833
- Well, you didn't fail.
I mean, that's a B.
1730
01:23:57,833 --> 01:24:01,167
And your grade won't be compromised
with a 105 average.
1731
01:24:01,167 --> 01:24:03,208
- Yeah, the move was strategic,
1732
01:24:03,208 --> 01:24:05,500
but relish in the sentiment, will ya?
1733
01:24:09,250 --> 01:24:11,042
[whispering] I'll see ya later.
1734
01:24:15,167 --> 01:24:16,542
[teacher clears throat]
1735
01:24:16,542 --> 01:24:18,000
- Okay.
1736
01:24:18,000 --> 01:24:20,625
So where was I, breast?
I leave off at breast?
1737
01:24:20,625 --> 01:24:22,542
[students murmuring]
STUDENT: Uh, yeah.
1738
01:24:22,542 --> 01:24:24,833
♪ romantic pop song playing ♪
1739
01:24:35,625 --> 01:24:37,417
[indistinct conversation]
1740
01:24:39,292 --> 01:24:41,042
AVERY:
I set the whole thing up.
1741
01:24:41,042 --> 01:24:43,375
I had to make sure
it went according to plan.
1742
01:24:44,708 --> 01:24:45,708
And it did.
1743
01:24:51,875 --> 01:24:54,750
- Don't be weird, be reals.
- Okay.
1744
01:24:56,542 --> 01:24:59,083
AVERY: I thought high school
was about setting yourself up
1745
01:24:59,083 --> 01:25:02,250
for the rest of your life,
and it kind of is.
1746
01:25:02,250 --> 01:25:03,375
- Come on.
1747
01:25:03,375 --> 01:25:05,167
AVERY:
Just not in the way I expected.
1748
01:25:05,167 --> 01:25:07,708
SINGER: All right,
let's turn this party up!
1749
01:25:07,708 --> 01:25:10,583
AVERY: Don't get me wrong,
I'm proud of my GPA,
1750
01:25:10,583 --> 01:25:13,042
and I can't wait to go to MIT.
1751
01:25:14,125 --> 01:25:16,458
But the most valuable lesson
from high school...
1752
01:25:17,667 --> 01:25:19,083
came from Larson.
1753
01:25:24,083 --> 01:25:26,125
Not how to be good at sex,
1754
01:25:26,125 --> 01:25:28,708
but to be good to others.
1755
01:25:30,708 --> 01:25:35,167
Because it turns out, making
other people happy makes you happy.
1756
01:25:35,167 --> 01:25:38,125
- Avery!
♪ dance music playing ♪
1757
01:25:38,125 --> 01:25:40,375
AVERY:
And that's a pretty epic win.
1758
01:25:43,833 --> 01:25:47,208
♪ All we need's a bit of each other ♪
1759
01:25:47,208 --> 01:25:48,917
♪ To feel new ♪
1760
01:25:52,208 --> 01:25:54,375
♪ I've got a lot of steam ♪
1761
01:25:54,375 --> 01:25:56,125
♪ To blow off ♪
1762
01:26:02,750 --> 01:26:04,958
DIRECTOR: Scene 1, actor take 1, mark.
1763
01:26:05,625 --> 01:26:08,167
[snickers]
- ♪ Bam bam bam bam ♪
1764
01:26:08,167 --> 01:26:09,875
[crew laughing]
1765
01:26:09,875 --> 01:26:12,125
AVERY: I'm sorry.
- I... I don't know what to tell you.
1766
01:26:12,125 --> 01:26:14,708
Yeah, babe, I mean,
we can't do this all for you.
1767
01:26:14,708 --> 01:26:16,125
What, am I gonna suck his dick for you?
1768
01:26:16,125 --> 01:26:17,417
[laughing]
1769
01:26:17,417 --> 01:26:19,125
- Yeah, I will.
1770
01:26:19,125 --> 01:26:20,833
Ooh. We both would.
1771
01:26:20,833 --> 01:26:23,125
- Well, speak for yourself.
- Just let us know.
1772
01:26:23,125 --> 01:26:25,542
[crew laughing]
1773
01:26:26,250 --> 01:26:28,875
- Feel like... I forgot the line.
1774
01:26:28,875 --> 01:26:30,250
[crew laughing]
Wow.
1775
01:26:30,250 --> 01:26:31,667
DIRECTOR: Can you touch a little longer?
1776
01:26:31,667 --> 01:26:32,792
LARSON: Whoa.
1777
01:26:32,792 --> 01:26:34,125
[crew laughing]
1778
01:26:34,125 --> 01:26:37,208
- Math does the body good!
1779
01:26:37,208 --> 01:26:38,875
- Oh, yeah. [laughs]
1780
01:26:38,875 --> 01:26:40,417
[needle scratches record]
Wha...?
1781
01:26:40,417 --> 01:26:42,917
- What? I didn't mean it like that.
I didn't mean it like that.
1782
01:26:42,917 --> 01:26:44,625
- Chill out, bro.
- No, no, no, we're good.
1783
01:26:44,625 --> 01:26:47,625
- We're seniors, and you've never been
to a school dance,
1784
01:26:47,625 --> 01:26:50,250
and we both know you don't think--
do things you're not-- Sorry.
1785
01:26:50,250 --> 01:26:54,417
- I'm willing to let you out on parole if
you return to your test position... to...
1786
01:26:54,417 --> 01:26:55,542
Fuckin'...
1787
01:26:55,542 --> 01:26:59,333
[imitating rewinding audio]
AVERY: Fuck. I'm sorry.
1788
01:26:59,333 --> 01:27:00,458
[crew laughing]
1789
01:27:00,458 --> 01:27:01,667
Combo.
1790
01:27:01,667 --> 01:27:03,083
DIRECTOR: Oh, that's cool.
1791
01:27:03,083 --> 01:27:05,500
- Spock.
- [laughing] Very nice, Spock.
1792
01:27:05,500 --> 01:27:08,625
- Reverse Spock.
WOMAN: Reverse Spock! [laughing]
1793
01:27:08,625 --> 01:27:09,667
- Can I just go for it?
1794
01:27:09,667 --> 01:27:11,750
The rock star, the surf's up,
the devil's advocate,
1795
01:27:11,750 --> 01:27:14,542
the Spock, the reverse Spock,
the scissors beats paper,
1796
01:27:14,542 --> 01:27:16,125
the sideways dancing man.
1797
01:27:17,708 --> 01:27:19,958
Today's episode is brought to you
by the letter G.
1798
01:27:19,958 --> 01:27:23,292
What's up, G?
I'll email you a list.
1799
01:27:23,292 --> 01:27:26,375
[laughter, indistinct shouting]
1800
01:27:26,375 --> 01:27:28,500
- Oh, my God,
I can't believe it's working!
1801
01:27:30,000 --> 01:27:32,417
- There's a microphone under there.
[laughing]
1802
01:27:32,417 --> 01:27:37,250
[kids speaking nonsense, laughing]
1803
01:27:40,500 --> 01:27:44,250
- Do you know, Deb's batteries
are all in her vibrators, so...
1804
01:27:44,250 --> 01:27:46,292
do you think she's gonna take those out
and put it in the remote?
1805
01:27:46,292 --> 01:27:47,458
I don't think so.
1806
01:27:47,458 --> 01:27:49,500
[crew laughing]
1807
01:27:49,500 --> 01:27:52,792
- Piña Colada. Such a complex flavor.
1808
01:27:52,792 --> 01:27:54,375
- Tastes like sunscreen.
1809
01:27:55,250 --> 01:27:57,708
I licked it again, what is wrong with me?
1810
01:27:57,708 --> 01:28:00,333
- Even Hemingway fucked it up
on the first go.
1811
01:28:00,333 --> 01:28:02,208
Cut yourself-- Oh, I said "fuck."
1812
01:28:02,208 --> 01:28:04,250
Is this a fuck production?
1813
01:28:04,250 --> 01:28:07,375
- Sexual intimacy is
something to be gained.
1814
01:28:07,958 --> 01:28:09,500
KIM: That's beautiful, sweetheart.
1815
01:28:12,042 --> 01:28:14,833
- Why are you so far away from me?
I have a short arm.
1816
01:28:14,833 --> 01:28:17,583
- Uggh! Uggh! Uggh!
1817
01:28:17,583 --> 01:28:18,708
Ohh!
1818
01:28:18,708 --> 01:28:20,917
Uggh!
1819
01:28:20,917 --> 01:28:22,500
DIRECTOR: Good timing.
1820
01:28:22,500 --> 01:28:24,375
- That got really close that time.
1821
01:28:24,375 --> 01:28:26,208
- Yeah. It looked good though.
- I'm really sorry.
1822
01:28:26,208 --> 01:28:28,500
- Were you not entertained?
1823
01:28:29,417 --> 01:28:31,500
So now while you are here...
1824
01:28:32,458 --> 01:28:34,042
fuckin' love...
1825
01:28:34,042 --> 01:28:35,167
[crew laughing]
1826
01:28:35,167 --> 01:28:36,958
- Okay, so we'll follow the same protocol
1827
01:28:36,958 --> 01:28:38,625
as all-ov-our previous experiments--
1828
01:28:38,625 --> 01:28:39,917
- [laughs] Oh, yeah?
1829
01:28:39,917 --> 01:28:41,125
- I'm sorry.
1830
01:28:41,125 --> 01:28:42,583
- Oh, yeah?
1831
01:28:42,583 --> 01:28:44,500
[laughing]
1832
01:28:44,500 --> 01:28:47,167
Say it again.
[mimicking] "As all-ov-our..."
1833
01:28:47,167 --> 01:28:50,417
Ha, ha!
Sorry. Blooper reel.
1834
01:28:50,417 --> 01:28:52,125
- I think it went well.
- Pretty good.
1835
01:28:52,125 --> 01:28:53,625
- It didn't feel good,
but I think it was good.
1836
01:28:53,625 --> 01:28:54,875
- Yes.
- Yes.
1837
01:28:54,875 --> 01:28:56,208
[crew laughing]
1838
01:28:56,208 --> 01:28:57,583
DIRECTOR: Cut! Great.
1839
01:29:00,083 --> 01:29:02,208
♪ romantic ballad playing ♪
1840
01:29:05,333 --> 01:29:07,208
♪ Sometimes ♪
1841
01:29:07,208 --> 01:29:10,417
♪ Two people in love aren't meant to be ♪
1842
01:29:10,417 --> 01:29:12,875
♪ Because sometimes ♪
1843
01:29:12,875 --> 01:29:15,625
♪ They can't give each other
what they need ♪
1844
01:29:15,625 --> 01:29:17,125
♪ For them to be happy ♪
1845
01:29:17,125 --> 01:29:21,417
♪ Because happy
isn't just a one-way street ♪
1846
01:29:21,417 --> 01:29:24,375
♪ So before you go ♪
1847
01:29:24,375 --> 01:29:27,167
♪ I hope you know ♪
1848
01:29:27,167 --> 01:29:29,917
♪ That I wish you all the best ♪
1849
01:29:29,917 --> 01:29:31,625
♪ I hope you fly like a bird ♪
1850
01:29:31,625 --> 01:29:33,583
♪ Who can finally leave the nest ♪
1851
01:29:33,583 --> 01:29:36,458
♪ I cannot wait to see ♪
1852
01:29:36,458 --> 01:29:38,792
♪ When you are happy ♪
1853
01:29:38,792 --> 01:29:42,500
♪ Though the world of us
is just a memory ♪
1854
01:29:43,250 --> 01:29:48,667
♪ After a while, I hope you'd smile
if you remember me ♪
1855
01:29:48,667 --> 01:29:51,333
♪ That I don't want to forget ♪
1856
01:29:51,333 --> 01:29:55,083
♪ I can't regret anything ♪
1857
01:29:55,083 --> 01:29:56,125
♪ At all ♪
1858
01:29:58,667 --> 01:30:00,708
♪ I wish you all the best ♪
1859
01:30:00,708 --> 01:30:02,375
♪ I hope that you get the world ♪
1860
01:30:02,375 --> 01:30:04,167
♪ And you're given all the rest ♪
1861
01:30:04,167 --> 01:30:07,250
♪ I cannot wait to see ♪
1862
01:30:07,250 --> 01:30:10,125
♪ When you are happy ♪
1863
01:30:10,125 --> 01:30:12,000
♪ I wish you all the best ♪
1864
01:30:12,000 --> 01:30:13,625
♪ I hope you fly like a bird ♪
1865
01:30:13,625 --> 01:30:15,500
♪ Who can finally leave the nest ♪
1866
01:30:15,500 --> 01:30:18,208
♪ I cannot wait to see ♪
1867
01:30:18,208 --> 01:30:21,333
♪ When you are happy ♪
1868
01:30:21,333 --> 01:30:23,333
♪