1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX

2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

3
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:12,480
‎好,大家準備好了嗎?

4
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:13,400
‎-好了
‎-好

5
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:14,760
‎一、二、三

6
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:20,320
‎傑米·德梅特里:人生模樣

7
00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:26,080
‎看啊,是生命

8
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:31,560
‎而且你是很年輕的生命
‎非常年輕,負一歲

9
00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:35,640
‎其實呢,你如果聽得見我說話
‎我可以問你一個問題嗎?

10
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,480
‎-可以
‎-好

11
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:41,000
‎你知道你馬上就要被生下來了嗎?

12
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,280
‎-知道
‎-好

13
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:47,600
‎那你對你的人生將會發生的事
‎有沒有感到很緊張?

14
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:50,120
‎-有
‎-那當然了

15
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,840
‎那就把這件事交給我們,如何?

16
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:56,360
‎聽著...對,音對了

17
00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:03,960
‎聽著,我們能理解你的感受
‎但是你完全搞錯了

18
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,880
‎人生非常棒

19
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:14,920
‎我可不是該死的銷售員
‎但我想對你推銷人生

20
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:18,000
‎所以在子宮裡好好坐穩了,小嬰兒

21
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,160
‎我們要展開經歷不同人生的旅程了

22
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,640
‎(第一幕:青年)

23
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:31,680
‎從你出生的那一刻起
‎你就花了很多時間玩樂

24
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:36,640
‎你根本沒意識到你在玩樂的同時

25
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,160
‎其實也在學習

26
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,120
‎怎麼回事?

27
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,960
‎我想讓大家以為你拉肚子了,兄弟

28
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,720
‎你在學習、成長、歡笑、存在

29
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,720
‎變成最棒的自己

30
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:56,040
‎所以等你進入青少年蝴蝶型態時

31
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,520
‎你已經準備好了,而且你非常美麗

32
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,600
‎猜猜布萊德彼特有多少錢

33
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,080
‎別...

34
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,520
‎多少?我猜有好幾百萬

35
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,360
‎-是一千億
‎-不可能

36
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,759
‎布彼特是誰?

37
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,080
‎布萊德彼特

38
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:24,120
‎你有看到我們學校的克蕾西
‎在頭上刺了一件外套嗎?

39
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:25,360
‎一件外套嗎?

40
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:27,600
‎-真棒
‎-是啊

41
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:35,160
‎是...不對,不是外套
‎是十字架,耶穌的十字架

42
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,640
‎耶穌的十字架嗎?真棒

43
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:42,880
‎媽,妳可以送青醬義大利麵
‎上來給我們嗎?

44
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,200
‎-我的要加甜椒醬
‎-雀夏的要加甜椒醬,我的也是

45
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:47,920
‎媽,拜託

46
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:52,600
‎妳可以送飲料上來給我們嗎?
‎我沒辦法下去,我太渴了

47
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,240
‎對,妳能不能送...對,飲料就好

48
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,280
‎不要,不要水

49
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,040
‎對,可可飲料

50
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,680
‎-雷西
‎-是,怎樣?

51
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,120
‎-你媽為什麼在推特上講我們的事?
‎-什麼?

52
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,720
‎-我媽?
‎-對

53
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,880
‎-在推特上嗎?
‎-對,你聽

54
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:21,040
‎“我兒子這個世代有問題

55
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:25,320
‎他和他女朋友整個暑假都黏在床上

56
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:29,080
‎我沒聽到他們笑或是玩得開心”

57
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,960
‎-我整天都在笑
‎-對,我也是

58
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,560
‎“我看過一篇研究說這一代的青少年

59
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:42,080
‎做愛次數比歷史上
‎任何一代的青少年都還少”

60
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,600
‎什麼?“我兒子絕對能證明這點”

61
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:49,840
‎什麼?

62
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,840
‎她是想給我壓力嗎?

63
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,360
‎媽!

64
00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,840
‎妳發...妳發了推特!是嗎?

65
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:06,040
‎天啊,媽!妳幹嘛這樣?

66
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,840
‎我們沒做過愛是不是很丟臉?

67
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,760
‎-我懶得做
‎-我也懶得做

68
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:15,000
‎我不想做復古的事,懂我的意思嗎?

69
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:20,080
‎我發誓做愛是很復古的事
‎我忙著在做現代的事

70
00:04:21,519 --> 00:04:25,560
‎天啊,有人說
‎“他們兩個是性冷感的驢子”

71
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,480
‎有人發了推特這麼說

72
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:29,880
‎妳還好嗎?

73
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,240
‎妳還好嗎?

74
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,440
‎好,雷西,我們要做
‎我們要做愛,把褲子脫掉

75
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,640
‎什麼?拜託不要,我懶得做

76
00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:41,320
‎我也懶得做

77
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,160
‎但網路上有好多人都在罵我們

78
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,000
‎我只是想保護我們的社群平台帳號

79
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,200
‎所以快把褲子脫掉,把手機放下!

80
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,560
‎-馬上!
‎-好!

81
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,200
‎妳一直對我大吼!

82
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,520
‎-快!
‎-給我同儕壓力

83
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,200
‎你應該要挑逗我

84
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,360
‎-這樣沒幫助
‎-這是很感性的時刻

85
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,360
‎-所以我們才會這樣
‎-我不喜歡

86
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,120
‎-我不想做
‎-這樣有什麼意義?

87
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,360
‎我根本不知道自己在幹嘛

88
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:37,840
‎我要怎麼知道我的陰莖準備好了沒?

89
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,040
‎反正不要看我的屁股

90
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,600
‎我應該有擦,但我不確定

91
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:48,360
‎我們應該笑或做什麼培養感覺嗎?

92
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:52,120
‎我不想,我頭很痛
‎而且你的外表對我沒有吸引力

93
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,440
‎我不確定行不行得通

94
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:57,440
‎-因為我們又軟又乾
‎-因為我們又軟又乾

95
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,880
‎我們要怎麼把那裡放進去?

96
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:03,040
‎你就把那裡抵著我的那裡

97
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,280
‎想像我的髮型很美

98
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:08,200
‎-但我還是軟的
‎-我很乾

99
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:12,160
‎-不是應該更舒服一點嗎?
‎-感覺如何?

100
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:13,840
‎該怎麼形容呢?

101
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,840
‎感覺就像是試著
‎把大便塞進夾子裡,懂嗎?

102
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,560
‎喂,我是你媽的男朋友,怎麼回事?

103
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,360
‎你們想做愛卻做不成嗎?

104
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,240
‎別煩惱,你們還有希望

105
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,520
‎我和你媽開始用了一種土耳其肥皂

106
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,800
‎在網站上是寫“土耳其油”

107
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:36,200
‎但哪有油會一塊一塊賣?
‎這絕對是肥皂

108
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:40,440
‎他們的網站只是年久失修
‎而且創業的那個人好像厭倦了

109
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,840
‎我非常喜歡,所以就投資了

110
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:45,640
‎我現在是土耳其肥皂創投的合夥人

111
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,760
‎但每個跟我買過的人都不喜歡

112
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,920
‎他們說沒辦法從身上洗掉

113
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:56,040
‎-沒辦法從身上洗掉
‎-你他媽進來幹嘛?

114
00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:00,120
‎還跟我們聊你的事業
‎我連我媽有男朋友都不知道

115
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,200
‎是我不好

116
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,440
‎-該死
‎-什麼?

117
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:10,440
‎老人最好都閉嘴,他害我心裡有感覺

118
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,280
‎我很討厭心裡有感覺
‎懂我的意思嗎?

119
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,040
‎我的心臟跳得很快
‎感覺好熱,我不喜歡這樣

120
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,600
‎對,你確實很熱

121
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,520
‎而且你體臭很重

122
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,920
‎對,妳其實也很臭,妳臭死了

123
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:27,000
‎我其實很喜歡你在被子裡的味道

124
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:31,480
‎我不知道是為什麼
‎但我也喜歡妳在被子裡的味道

125
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,200
‎等等,沒錯,我的老二感覺好像磁鐵

126
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,560
‎陰道裡面有沒有金屬?因為...

127
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,480
‎-有東西彼此吸引
‎-真的成功了嗎?

128
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,000
‎-我們不再又軟又乾
‎-我們不再又軟又乾

129
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,080
‎-感覺太棒了
‎-是啊

130
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:02,880
‎-蠻不錯的
‎-對

131
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,400
‎妳還想再做一次嗎?

132
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,080
‎不想

133
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,480
‎(9月21日)

134
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,280
‎大家早

135
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,760
‎天啊,我的包包卡到門了

136
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,440
‎你好,我有聽說會來一位新人,嗨

137
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,040
‎你好嗎?到職第一天嗎?

138
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,840
‎-第一份工作
‎-第一份工作,天啊

139
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,840
‎你要提高警覺,這裡變化多端

140
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,240
‎你好,賽門

141
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,880
‎大家好,早安,湯姆,你好嗎?

142
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,440
‎天啊,我的包包卡到門了

143
00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:43,520
‎你好,賽門

144
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,080
‎大家好,早安,湯姆,你好嗎?

145
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,200
‎天啊,我的包包卡到門了

146
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,840
‎還真不湊巧,你好,賽門

147
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,720
‎大家好,早安,湯姆,你好嗎?

148
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,000
‎我的包包卡到門了

149
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,840
‎我得告訴賽門,賽門

150
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,200
‎大家好,早安,湯姆,你好嗎?

151
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:12,520
‎你好,賽門

152
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,640
‎大家好,早安,湯姆,你好嗎?

153
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:21,960
‎真是的

154
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,480
‎靠,我的包包卡到門了

155
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,040
‎你好,賽門

156
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,000
‎大家好,早安,湯姆,你好嗎?

157
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,360
‎早安,湯姆,你好嗎?

158
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,000
‎你好嗎?你敢相信嗎?

159
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,680
‎大家好,早安,湯姆,你好嗎?

160
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,640
‎我把包包放在家裡

161
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,520
‎你好,賽門

162
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,200
‎接下來就會發生這麼多事

163
00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,720
‎包包和門和賽門

164
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:05,200
‎但工作只會占用你大概七成的時間

165
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:10,280
‎寶貴的另外三成都是你的時間
‎也是真正神奇的部分

166
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,760
‎聯繫、承諾、社交

167
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:17,880
‎這些就是人生最精彩的
‎成年生活的支柱

168
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:21,520
‎(第二幕:成年)

169
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,800
‎(卡斯克27)

170
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,360
‎-每個人的
‎-每個人的

171
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:32,320
‎-改變步調都不同
‎-改變步調都不同

172
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:38,920
‎但到了27歲,最好要有些改變

173
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,560
‎這得要看她還有沒有辦法兼職

174
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:44,600
‎-對
‎-如果可以...

175
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,440
‎-我很想見她
‎-一定要

176
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:47,560
‎-嘿
‎-來了

177
00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:50,680
‎-你好,你好嗎?
‎-你好,是

178
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,360
‎我的天啊

179
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,160
‎所以你想要我們
‎對你喊“單身漢”嗎,小佛?

180
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:58,640
‎我覺得用正常的音量
‎叫我“佛瑞德”就可以了,對

181
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:02,600
‎抱歉,我真心喜歡四處看著朋友

182
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,960
‎並想著自己有多喜歡他們
‎是可以的嗎?

183
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,080
‎-可以
‎-這樣的單身派對好嗎?

184
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,480
‎非常好,很棒的酒吧
‎很棒又打扮得很好的朋友

185
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,440
‎我應該認識在場的所有人,除了...

186
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:17,760
‎-你的首席伴郎是誰?奇倫嗎?
‎-奇倫,對

187
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,640
‎對,他人很好
‎其實是他幫助我撐過了大學

188
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:25,440
‎他有點擔心要當首席伴郎

189
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,960
‎-不過他...
‎-好,請大家圍成馬蹄鐵形

190
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,600
‎快點,你們這些散漫鬼
‎圍成馬蹄鐵形,馬上

191
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,880
‎要圍緊一點,聲音才不會外漏

192
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,720
‎好,各位死混蛋好

193
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:45,240
‎好,請大家只聽到我這邊
‎聽我說話,好嗎?

194
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:47,720
‎第一張紅牌
‎如果我看到你們任何一個人

195
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,600
‎今天的某個時刻手上沒有任何酒

196
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:54,240
‎就得乾掉一杯健力士
‎這就是他媽的規定

197
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,160
‎知道嗎?

198
00:11:58,560 --> 00:11:59,680
‎阿奇...

199
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,640
‎有些人可能還沒見過他
‎他是我的首席伴郎,奇倫...

200
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:06,880
‎哈吉戴爾

201
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,160
‎奇倫哈吉戴爾,謝謝你籌辦這場派對

202
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:10,080
‎-是
‎-對

203
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,520
‎謝謝你,佛瑞德,你這死混蛋

204
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:15,360
‎嘿

205
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,600
‎這是你今天最後一次向我道謝
‎相信我

206
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:22,240
‎今天會是這小混蛋一輩子最糟的一天

207
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:24,640
‎為什麼?

208
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:29,240
‎或許是因為我安排的內容非常瘋狂
‎真是的,兄弟

209
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:34,640
‎說到這個,別忘了,我們都是男人

210
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:40,160
‎如果我發現你們任何一個人
‎在今天的任何一個時刻

211
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,000
‎沒有想著女人的胸部

212
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,760
‎如果被我發現
‎你就得馬上乾掉一杯健力士

213
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,720
‎不能暫停
‎要從嘴巴直接進到你的食道

214
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,080
‎我他媽不在乎

215
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,080
‎你還好嗎?怎麼了嗎?

216
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,800
‎你還好嗎?你的鈕釦還好嗎?

217
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,920
‎-小心點
‎-拜託讓我弄就是了

218
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,040
‎-你在幹嘛
‎-等我一下

219
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:09,840
‎你們有看到嗎?

220
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:14,840
‎他本來扣了三顆鈕釦
‎我解開了最上面的

221
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,120
‎好,很好

222
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,120
‎-解開很好看
‎-真的嗎?

223
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,520
‎-那就這樣吧
‎-好

224
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,680
‎稱讚朋友的穿著很沒單身派對精神

225
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:25,720
‎如果有感覺像單身派對的東西
‎不要忍住

226
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,880
‎-要釋放出來
‎-好,沒問題

227
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:31,120
‎我們大家都先冷靜一點吧

228
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:35,080
‎果然是佛瑞德,“我不希望有人
‎在我的單身派對上對我朋友大吼

229
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,680
‎我只想玩得開心”

230
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:39,960
‎-不對,我沒這樣說
‎-你為什麼不這樣說?

231
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,680
‎別這樣,奇倫
‎你先告訴大家你為了今天

232
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,640
‎-安排的活動
‎-少煩我!

233
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,560
‎-他在幹嘛?
‎-怎麼回事?

234
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,320
‎-兄弟
‎-你想要怎樣?

235
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:53,600
‎我剛剛從頭到尾都沒聽到
‎他們任何人發出...

236
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,280
‎這就是這整段話的重點

237
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:57,560
‎怎麼回事?佛瑞德,他怎麼了?

238
00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,400
‎他是不是...他是不是喝醉了之類的?

239
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:02,920
‎沒有,他不喝酒

240
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,280
‎你們先聊一下天

241
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,520
‎嘿,你還好嗎,兄弟?

242
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,320
‎我只是在想

243
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:16,040
‎在場的所有人都覺得你超厲害

244
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:18,920
‎少煩我,混蛋

245
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,120
‎我只是想發洩和冷靜一下

246
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:26,520
‎-你的朋友都是混蛋
‎-嘿,別這樣,你這王八蛋

247
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:30,240
‎來告訴他們
‎你今天準備了什麼,好嗎?

248
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,360
‎-你剛剛在那邊為什麼不講粗話?
‎-我也可以講粗話

249
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,960
‎拜託,大家可以多講一點粗話嗎?

250
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:40,760
‎好,這王八蛋會告訴我們今天的行程

251
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:42,320
‎所以我們先聽他講,好嗎?

252
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:46,400
‎-好
‎-好

253
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,680
‎是,好,首先呢
‎希望你們都喜歡豬肉

254
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:54,520
‎因為我們今天的第一項活動
‎就是要一起吃好吃的豬肉派

255
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,720
‎聽起來不錯吧?
‎想得美,因為呢,天啊

256
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:01,080
‎挑到最小塊豬肉派的人
‎得乾掉一杯健力士

257
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,200
‎然後還得拉屎在褲子上

258
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:05,920
‎什麼?

259
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,560
‎“得拉屎在褲子上?”

260
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,840
‎真棒,接下來呢?

261
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,240
‎這反應太糟了,兄弟

262
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,800
‎沒有,我們很喜歡,對吧?
‎對,大家都想玩,對

263
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,200
‎各位,我們來拿派,好不好?

264
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:23,840
‎-好
‎-好嗎?很好

265
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,680
‎-要先拿派嗎?
‎-好

266
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:27,320
‎我會拿著這個袋子

267
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,120
‎-你們拿...
‎-好,各位,一人拿一塊豬肉派

268
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,960
‎拿到最小塊豬肉派的人就得...

269
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:38,400
‎-對,得要大便
‎-對,還要乾掉一杯健力士

270
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,120
‎-然後乾掉一杯健力士
‎-好

271
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:43,280
‎這是我的

272
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,520
‎天啊,真遺憾,奇倫

273
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,240
‎遺憾什麼?

274
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:52,760
‎我超喜歡的

275
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,320
‎好,我要拉屎了

276
00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,440
‎-你現在就要拉屎?
‎-我可以抓你的肩膀嗎?

277
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,640
‎-好
‎-不行,兄弟

278
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:04,760
‎叫你的朋友看我

279
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,680
‎他們好像都把頭別開了

280
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,360
‎各位,可以的話就看他

281
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,560
‎-佛瑞德
‎-他快好了

282
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,040
‎-對
‎-好了嗎?

283
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:24,480
‎一點點,你們這些瘋子

284
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,760
‎-拿一杯健力士給他,然後...
‎-對

285
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,160
‎-對,你們可以歡呼一下嗎?
‎-好耶

286
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,760
‎-做得好
‎-謝謝

287
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,520
‎-做得非常好
‎-第二部分

288
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,000
‎這是我第一次喝健力士

289
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:37,960
‎乾杯,各位

290
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,920
‎真不敢相信味道竟然是這樣

291
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,360
‎你們喝過嗎?

292
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:49,120
‎對,我以為會甜很多,像奶油糖那樣

293
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,280
‎我們接下來的王室婚禮報導

294
00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:00,840
‎將會由彼得林報導今天的喜事

295
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,640
{\an8}‎(突發新聞:新人即將結婚)

296
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,280
{\an8}‎我是彼得林
‎由我負責報導今天的喜事

297
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,920
{\an8}‎有大批民眾分批來到現場

298
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,680
{\an8}‎一同慶祝這個肯定會成為

299
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,839
{\an8}‎全世界經歷過最美好的日子

300
00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:17,200
{\an8}‎王室婚禮正在舉行

301
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,040
{\an8}‎我們在外面看不到,但可以肯定的是

302
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:25,000
{\an8}‎確實正在舉行,新人都是31歲
‎一切都非常之棒

303
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,640
{\an8}‎外面的氣氛也是棒到不得了

304
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:31,920
{\an8}‎我剛剛才跟很雀躍的這家人
‎聊過這一切有多棒

305
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,680
{\an8}‎貝芙戴維森,這件喜事有多棒?

306
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:38,920
{\an8}‎不得不說,我才剛跟我的家人
‎還有姪女說過同樣的話

307
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:42,400
{\an8}‎今天真的非常棒
‎這裡的氣氛也非常好

308
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,080
{\an8}‎我一生最棒的一天,最棒的婚姻

309
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,720
{\an8}‎真美好的一天,今天真的非常棒

310
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,800
{\an8}‎真是太棒了,說得真好

311
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:53,840
{\an8}‎就是現在,沒其他方式能形容了
‎我們現在非常開心

312
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:58,360
{\an8}‎妳覺得這段婚姻會有什麼特別之處?

313
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:02,160
{\an8}‎他們什麼都有,他們是非常棒的一對

314
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,520
{\an8}‎我很期待能近距離看到他們

315
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,200
{\an8}‎然後說一些對他們很正面的話

316
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,840
{\an8}‎是嗎?妳會說什麼?

317
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:13,240
{\an8}‎我可能會說
‎“他們的眼睛能點亮天空”之類的

318
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,640
{\an8}‎我們都很期待能聽到她這麼說

319
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:20,280
{\an8}‎我剛說過,有大批民眾來到了現場

320
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,120
{\an8}‎-真的嗎?
‎-對

321
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:26,440
{\an8}‎是,我覺得這也很理所當然
‎因為這對我來說是很棒的一天

322
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:30,280
{\an8}‎如果能夠參與這一天
‎我當然也會穿內褲來到現場

323
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:35,040
{\an8}‎真是太棒了,希望妳玩得開心
‎讓我舔一口冰淇淋,我就要走了

324
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:38,720
{\an8}‎好

325
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,760
{\an8}‎抱歉,這一切就只是
‎為了一場婚禮嗎?

326
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,600
{\an8}‎-大家在慶祝什麼?
‎-閉嘴

327
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:47,120
{\an8}‎閉嘴!別問這種糟糕的問題
‎妳這個壞女生!走開!

328
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,520
{\an8}‎我得做點有氧運動
‎消耗剛剛那口冰淇淋的熱量

329
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:55,680
{\an8}‎好,我講到哪了?
‎我是彼得林,妳好,妳走得真快

330
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:59,120
{\an8}‎不對,我是另一個人
‎但今天是很美好的一天

331
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:01,120
{\an8}‎現場氣氛非常棒

332
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:03,280
{\an8}‎-是不是很棒?
‎-是,非常棒

333
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:07,240
{\an8}‎我很確定,因為我上週剛結婚
‎我的婚禮一點都不棒

334
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,560
{\an8}‎-真的不棒嗎?
‎-根本沒什麼

335
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:14,040
{\an8}‎沒有凝聚全國民眾的心
‎也沒讓人覺得很愉快或很棒

336
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,600
{\an8}‎沒有大批民眾來到現場,根本沒什麼

337
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,160
{\an8}‎-完全不算什麼嗎?
‎-沒錯

338
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:22,080
{\an8}‎完全不算什麼
‎這也代表了我們今天的感受

339
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:26,320
{\an8}‎欣喜若狂的感受
‎尊敬的感受和社區感

340
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:32,000
{\an8}‎讓我們感到在今天之前
‎根本沒發生過任何值得紀念的事

341
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:34,280
{\an8}‎傳來了最新消息

342
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,840
{\an8}‎他們都說“我願意”了,來了
‎他們結婚了!他們成婚了!

343
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,360
{\an8}‎他們會永遠在一起!

344
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:41,680
{\an8}‎我們進去吧

345
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,200
{\an8}‎我們進到你們之中吧

346
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:45,560
{\an8}‎我們很開心!

347
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,640
{\an8}‎看看他!

348
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,200
{\an8}‎這是歷史!

349
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,880
{\an8}‎這是婚姻!這太棒了!

350
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,200
{\an8}‎這樣才...

351
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,760
{\an8}‎他這輩子不會再做出更棒的事了

352
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,800
{\an8}‎我們殺了他!他不會再有任何貢獻了

353
00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,480
{\an8}‎這給我!

354
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,000
{\an8}‎別霸占冰淇淋

355
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,240
{\an8}‎太棒了!

356
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,280
{\an8}‎我好開心!

357
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,320
{\an8}‎全世界的人都在看!

358
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,040
{\an8}‎這就是婚姻!這就是承諾!

359
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,840
‎也不一定...看看他們

360
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,400
‎各位,你們可不要變太棒

361
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,240
‎你們會讓我想辭掉工作
‎整天都跟你們一起玩

362
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:42,960
‎真有趣

363
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:48,360
‎是因為我太愛他們了嗎?
‎還是我們的小孩真的很幽默?

364
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:49,960
‎不只是因為他們是我們的小孩

365
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,160
‎沒錯,他們真的很幽默

366
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,600
‎他們好幽默

367
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,640
‎你們跟孩子的關係很好,真棒

368
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:01,960
‎-我們還在跟尼克培養感情
‎-是

369
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,040
‎沒有,我跟尼克處得很好
‎我是好爸爸

370
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:11,080
‎恕我直言,傑夫
‎但他們兩個的等級完全不一樣

371
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,840
‎-你人真好
‎-完全無法相比

372
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,240
‎每個人都會有不同的經歷

373
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,880
‎如果小尼克遇到了一些困難
‎我很樂意跟他談談

374
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,720
‎艾倫跟尼克其實關係蠻好的

375
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,960
‎你們有注意到嗎?他們是死黨

376
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,120
‎學小牛仔講話

377
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:28,920
‎-沒有啦
‎-傑夫,不行

378
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,800
‎好,我有個難題
‎請你們給我一些教養建議

379
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,080
‎兒子在凌晨3點跑進你房間

380
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:39,840
‎說他夢到你從他身邊飛走了
‎而且他碰不到你

381
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,440
‎你們會怎麼安慰他?傑夫?

382
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,080
‎我不讓他進我房間

383
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,840
‎我不喜歡在下午4點過後跟他相處

384
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:54,280
‎3點或4點

385
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:55,960
‎太可惜了

386
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,160
‎我們喜歡黏在一起這樣蠻分離的

387
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:02,200
‎-傑夫,不要
‎-真難為情

388
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:07,800
‎波沒來我的房間叫醒我的時候
‎我就會去他房間找他

389
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:09,280
‎真的嗎?

390
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,480
‎-我很喜歡,夠了,傑夫
‎-祝福...

391
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,520
‎-關閉聊天機器,開啟烤肉模式
‎-他要走了

392
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:19,640
‎希望你們喜歡吃全熟郡的蔬菜

393
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,760
‎“全熟郡的蔬菜”,他真幽默

394
00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:24,800
‎他們是怎麼想到的?

395
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:26,280
‎拜託,傑夫

396
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,520
‎你如果掐別人,可能會真的掐死人

397
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:31,920
‎好吧,好

398
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,120
‎你們看看,熟度剛剛好

399
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,560
‎-有沒有漢堡和薯條?
‎-什麼?

400
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:46,000
‎-有沒有漢堡和薯條?
‎-這裡其實是無肉區?

401
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,240
‎我們只吃各式各樣的植物

402
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,080
‎我們希望孩子們長大能有環保良知

403
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,000
‎一定很好吃

404
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,920
‎我每天晚上都會
‎餵我的小孩吃一個大雞塊

405
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:58,360
‎-非常大
‎-食物的味道好香

406
00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:00,320
‎你們怎麼有辦法讓蔬菜變這麼香?

407
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,600
‎問得好,就像我跟小孩說的一樣

408
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:07,000
‎只要在櫛瓜中加入油和鹽就好

409
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,640
‎這榮幸就交給妳吧

410
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,480
‎小心點,傑夫

411
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,760
‎拜託你們盡量多吃一點

412
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,160
‎不然我就得吃上一整晚了

413
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,560
‎我發現你一直試圖掐我

414
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,720
‎你如果一直這麼做,傑夫
‎你的孩子會覺得你很奇怪

415
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,120
‎當爸不該這樣,兄弟

416
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,360
‎我的天啊

417
00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:27,720
‎你們這些愛霸占蔬菜的人

418
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:37,120
‎這裡發生的事讓我覺得
‎他們好像不認為我很棒

419
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:43,360
‎他們人很好
‎但他們還沒表示過我跟他們類似

420
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:49,200
‎雖然我拿不出證據
‎但我是這群人之中最棒的

421
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,880
‎他們卻拒絕承認

422
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:56,120
‎害我也質疑自己到底棒不棒

423
00:23:58,360 --> 00:23:59,600
‎所以我得處理掉他們

424
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,160
‎所以我得處理掉他們

425
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,080
‎所以我得處理掉他們

426
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,440
‎處理掉我們?什麼意思?

427
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:10,480
‎我不知道

428
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,120
‎是要殺了我們嗎?

429
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,320
‎-對,有可能
‎-天啊

430
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,960
‎那你會介意我報警嗎?

431
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:26,120
‎我被揭穿了,他們讓我
‎在他們身邊對他們說出了我的企圖

432
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:28,480
‎他在院子裡,他說要處理掉我們

433
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:32,760
‎他們不會懂我的,你們都知道
‎因為我會處理掉他們

434
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:39,320
‎我為什麼不能對小孩視而不見
‎又不那麼用心

435
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:43,240
‎同時又被視為是很棒的爸爸呢?

436
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,240
‎這樣就方便多了

437
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,480
‎不需要證明一件事

438
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,920
‎卻又因為那件事而被稱讚

439
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:55,800
‎我沒處理掉他

440
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:58,360
‎我們會逮到他的

441
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,080
‎但我沒處理掉他

442
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:04,360
‎可以給我漢堡和薯條嗎?

443
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:11,840
‎你曾經年輕過,別想再變年輕

444
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:17,720
‎別因為自己的臉變得不一樣
‎就覺得自己死了

445
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,760
‎你得下去了,賽巴,你打扮得很不錯

446
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:27,680
‎嘿,尼克

447
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,040
‎全新一季,康沃爾這個全新的地點

448
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:37,640
‎全新的女生,全新的男生
‎還有個全新的轉折

449
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:42,040
‎你最好不要有像大便一樣的口臭
‎因為這就是《接吻別墅》

450
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,080
‎(接吻)

451
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,640
‎(《接吻別墅》)

452
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:52,800
‎我們現在就來見見
‎想在陽光下舌吻的男男女女

453
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:53,720
‎(文,20歲)

454
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:57,520
‎大家好,我是文,今年20歲
‎我的腹肌叫姐妹,因為它們讓我堅強

455
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,920
‎我什麼事都會告訴它們

456
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:00,840
‎(傑巴,39歲)

457
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,120
‎我叫傑巴,今年39歲
‎我很愛惹事,我有鬍渣

458
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,360
‎而且我很喜歡接吻

459
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:06,440
‎(賽巴,45歲)

460
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,680
‎嗨,我叫賽巴
‎我其實是《接吻別墅》的主創

461
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,400
‎自從我創造出這個節目之後
‎我就一直很想來上節目

462
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:14,440
‎(雨果,57歲)

463
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,320
‎嗨,我叫雨果,我185公分

464
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,000
‎我185公分

465
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,480
‎我這輩子最棒的夜晚嗎?

466
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:27,360
‎我有一天晚上
‎每15秒就跟不同的女生接吻

467
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:28,800
‎那天晚上非常特別

468
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:32,280
‎我只能說我非常熱愛接吻

469
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,760
‎我覺得接吻真的非常棒

470
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,640
‎天啊,我最有魅力的地方嗎?

471
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:40,640
‎我覺得應該是我的牙齦
‎我小時候牙齦出過嚴重問題

472
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,040
‎因為我吃了太多棕醬
‎所以我接吻時只能小小的

473
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,720
‎但是我在來別墅之前去洗過牙,沒錯

474
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,640
‎我很期待大一點的接吻

475
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:54,080
‎有四名男子很想要接吻

476
00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:57,240
‎-下來吧
‎-他媽的

477
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,120
‎-你在想什麼?
‎-來吧,兄弟

478
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:01,160
‎-你好嗎?
‎-味道好香

479
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,840
‎-開花了
‎-我的天啊,兄弟

480
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,800
‎-有看到那棟房子嗎?
‎-你們好嗎?

481
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,000
‎我的天啊,兄弟

482
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:10,200
‎看看這個泳池,兄弟

483
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:13,080
‎各位,很榮幸你們能來
‎你們都打扮得很棒

484
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,360
‎你也打扮得也不錯

485
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,720
‎說到這個,有些你們或許
‎會想親的女生要來了

486
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:22,640
‎(喬吉娜,21歲)

487
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:26,840
‎我叫喬吉娜,今年21歲
‎我曾經是舞者,我最近則是舞者

488
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:27,760
‎(艾琳,42歲)

489
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,720
‎我叫艾琳,我會設計有趣的棺材

490
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:33,240
‎我之前去拆掉舌環了,但洞卻越變越大

491
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:34,280
‎(雀奇,37歲)

492
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,240
‎妳可以接受採訪嗎,雀奇?

493
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:40,360
‎抱歉,我很飽又鼻塞

494
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:41,320
‎(娜法,46歲)

495
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:46,520
‎我叫娜法,全名叫娜塔莉法法尼
‎我只能說我上一次接吻的時候

496
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,640
‎是在英國脫歐公投那陣子

497
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,720
‎所以是2016年

498
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,320
‎我常說重要的並不是接吻

499
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,240
‎而是跟那個人接吻的感覺有多棒

500
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:04,640
‎我已經單身三個月了

501
00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:10,480
‎對,我是個年輕媽媽,舌頭很怪
‎希望能有舌頭穿越我的舌頭

502
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:12,240
‎很好

503
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:15,160
‎-一些很特別的女生
‎-太棒了

504
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,360
‎這群女生之中沒有不好的
‎一個都沒有

505
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,320
‎-有些積極男子在等妳們
‎-妳們打扮得真美

506
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:23,880
‎天上來的美女,中獎了

507
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:27,800
‎-很好,來吧,兄弟
‎-還好嗎?

508
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:28,760
‎你們好

509
00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:31,680
‎各位男生,你們有什麼想法?

510
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,080
‎-很好
‎-我很喜歡

511
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,160
‎非常好

512
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:36,800
‎好的,女生覺得如何?

513
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,720
‎-很好,你們還不錯
‎-很棒

514
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:40,640
‎來吧

515
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,760
‎好,現在大家都仔細看過
‎彼此的嘴唇了

516
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:46,560
‎我想請你們所有人

517
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:48,840
‎跟我一起到木桶旁

518
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:55,120
‎-這麼快?我們才剛來
‎-這有點認真

519
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:56,480
‎我什麼都不怕

520
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,280
‎雖然我也很希望
‎我把你們叫來木桶這裡只是好玩

521
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:02,040
‎但並非如此

522
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,600
‎我把你們叫來木桶這裡

523
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:09,240
‎是為了要告訴你們
‎在這一季的《接吻別墅》中

524
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:11,120
‎有個轉折

525
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:13,320
‎糟糕

526
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,920
‎-我的天啊
‎-這個轉折就是

527
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,560
‎有四個男生和四個女生

528
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:22,200
‎但是只有一個男生

529
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:24,400
‎和一個女生

530
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:27,440
‎是性感的

531
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,800
‎我們整晚都不睡

532
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:38,680
‎你們得一起討論出是隊上的哪一個人

533
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:39,600
‎我的天啊

534
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:41,400
‎太誇張了

535
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,680
‎我們整晚都不睡

536
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:50,120
‎猜對的人可以在
‎接下來的整個拍攝過程中狂歡

537
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,840
‎每天喝紅酒和吃培根蛋麵

538
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:58,720
‎-我很愛培根蛋麵
‎-我想要...

539
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,560
‎-我要吃義大利麵
‎-如果猜錯了

540
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,680
‎除了那對性感男女之外的所有人

541
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:11,120
‎在接下來的八週時間
‎就得蹲下來,臉對著地板

542
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,800
‎我很喜歡站著

543
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,040
‎好,你們得在我拿鐵鎚

544
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:24,800
‎把這個木桶砸爛之前做出決定

545
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:25,960
‎你們可以離開了

546
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:27,800
‎好,我們趕快去那個角落

547
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,280
‎我們走

548
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,120
‎-好,兄弟們,我們走吧
‎-我們去那個角落

549
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:40,560
‎-好
‎-我覺得這是很艱難的決定

550
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:44,400
‎非常困難

551
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,600
‎我就開門見山直說了,兄弟

552
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:51,160
‎我覺得是我,我有股直覺

553
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:55,480
‎懂我的意思嗎?
‎我很想吃培根蛋麵,我們得猜對

554
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,520
‎-其實我也覺得是自己
‎-真的嗎?

555
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,720
‎我只是覺得,因為我是舞者
‎而且你們都不性感

556
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:05,720
‎-所以可能是我,或是...
‎-對,是,沒錯

557
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,280
‎我也有想過,我覺得可能是妳或我

558
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:15,120
‎你很安全,傑巴
‎我覺得你人很好,但絕對是我

559
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:19,280
‎我覺得你很棒,我覺得你們都很棒
‎我也不想這麼做

560
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:20,760
‎但我覺得是我

561
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,080
‎-我覺得不是我就是妳
‎-或是我

562
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,800
‎-不過應該是我
‎-或是我

563
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,600
‎絕對不是妳

564
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:32,040
‎你有同樣的感覺嗎?太誇張了
‎你呢?你覺得是自己嗎?

565
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:33,600
‎-我覺得是我

566
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:35,040
‎-你幾歲?
‎-57歲

567
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,160
‎懂我的意思嗎?

568
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:37,560
‎好,各位煩人鬼

569
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,000
‎請回到木桶旁集合

570
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,160
‎抱歉,我們要站同樣的隊形嗎?

571
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,200
‎我真的不想這樣

572
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:48,640
‎好的

573
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,160
‎我們剛給了你們
‎一個木桶的時間做決定

574
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:56,480
‎我要請各隊選出的唯一性感人選

575
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:58,320
‎往前站一步

576
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,880
‎好,性感尤物,請往前站

577
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,320
‎-不對,是年輕的這兩位
‎-是

578
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:24,440
‎很好

579
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:26,320
‎-他們兩個嗎?
‎-對,沒錯

580
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:30,480
‎-這培根蛋麵太好吃了,沒錯
‎-很好吃吧?

581
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,320
‎我其實不會吃,我只會用看的

582
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,600
‎那是什麼?

583
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:49,040
‎只是一點輕鬆的娛樂
‎你沒興趣嗎?好

584
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:53,240
‎我感覺到你好像有點驚慌,兄弟

585
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,640
‎別害怕,人生不會永遠都那麼浮誇

586
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:02,600
‎說實話,接下來就只剩嗜好和寂靜了

587
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,760
‎(第三幕:老年)

588
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:12,480
‎你被愛著好久

589
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:18,560
‎好久

590
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,440
‎好久

591
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:33,960
‎-嗯
‎-妳是說“嗯”嗎?

592
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,200
‎我本來也想說的,對,嗯,對

593
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:44,720
‎這是傑克和彼得給我們的嗎?

594
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,960
‎-很棒,非常棒
‎-太好了

595
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:52,520
‎讀一下

596
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,040
‎“20週年紀念日快樂

597
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:58,680
‎卡爾和艾絲特”,還有呢?

598
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:00,440
‎“也就是爸媽”

599
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:02,680
‎天啊

600
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:05,520
‎我很喜歡

601
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:07,760
‎“希望你們這天能過得很愉快

602
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,400
‎真不敢相信你們還愛著彼此

603
00:34:11,240 --> 00:34:13,560
‎你們的大學小孩,傑克和彼得上”

604
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,360
‎是不是很棒?真是太棒了

605
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:17,719
‎“還愛著彼此”

606
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:27,880
‎沒錯!

607
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:29,679
‎怎麼了?

608
00:34:29,679 --> 00:34:33,960
‎沒什麼,我只是想說...我愛妳!

609
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,679
‎-很好
‎-乾杯

610
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,239
‎是這樣嗎...

611
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:46,880
‎就像這樣,不知道妳能不能理解

612
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:52,840
‎我想告訴全薩福克的人
‎我們還彼此相愛

613
00:34:53,679 --> 00:34:55,120
‎我們就來證明吧

614
00:34:56,159 --> 00:34:57,080
‎對

615
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,200
‎我娶了妳

616
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,440
‎我愛妳

617
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,560
‎就像這樣,對吧?

618
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:12,200
‎我好愛妳

619
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:16,120
‎我們在一起好久了

620
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:17,080
‎對吧?

621
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,360
‎好幾年

622
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:19,360
‎太棒了

623
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:25,120
‎我不想厭倦跟妳在一起

624
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:32,480
‎看著妳...呼吸...

625
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:34,960
‎-有點冷掉了
‎-天啊,對

626
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,240
‎我馬上就繼續,這不能放進去

627
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:39,880
‎-很危險
‎-對

628
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,080
‎我愛妳

629
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:46,080
‎我無時無刻

630
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:50,200
‎都跟妳一起待在我們的家裡,因為呢

631
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,080
‎妳知道我非常愛妳

632
00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:57,840
‎我永遠不會放妳走

633
00:35:58,320 --> 00:35:59,880
‎我的寶貝

634
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,640
‎是不是這樣?

635
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:05,880
‎太棒了

636
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,520
‎來吧,妳要不要試試看?

637
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:14,320
‎妳在吃東西,對,先吞下去
‎天啊,如果妳一邊唱歌

638
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,960
‎一邊吐出來...
‎妳先吃完,吞下去之後再唱吧

639
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:19,160
‎-我要去睡了
‎-好

640
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,000
‎因為我早上10點就得起床

641
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:23,760
‎我的天啊,好,妳去吧

642
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:25,760
‎沒關係

643
00:36:28,240 --> 00:36:29,080
‎對,去吧

644
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:36,440
‎語音助理,現在幾點?

645
00:36:37,240 --> 00:36:39,040
‎現在是6點45分

646
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:40,440
‎是嗎?

647
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:57,520
‎你們有看到我跟海倫
‎在羅馬吃披薩的照片嗎?

648
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,440
‎可以讓我看一下嗎?

649
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:03,000
‎等一下,爺爺
‎安迪,你沒在我那張照片底下留言

650
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,760
‎可以讓我看那張照片嗎?

651
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,760
‎我要怎麼...對照片留...

652
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:11,840
‎天啊,我們應該創個
‎專門傳家庭照的群組

653
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:15,120
‎我也想要有...群組...拜託

654
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:17,720
‎-我們要走了,愛你,生日快樂
‎-謝謝...

655
00:37:17,720 --> 00:37:22,040
‎謝謝你們送我電腦
‎記得有事要讓我參與

656
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:33,400
‎在那之後
‎他就創立了一個小盆栽植物事業

657
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,840
‎今年是他第一次參加切爾西花展

658
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,160
‎他會跟他太太一起參展

659
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:44,720
‎老人覺得使用科技超級無敵困難

660
00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:46,400
‎我辦不到

661
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:49,760
‎我可以幫助妳辦到

662
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:53,800
‎我無法理解Google

663
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,120
‎不會,Google超棒的

664
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:01,520
‎我的手指變得越來越大了

665
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,840
‎我應該是對我的狗過敏

666
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,120
‎這跟科技無關

667
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:11,120
‎嗨,我叫安東尼克蘭斯
‎我是非常好的人

668
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:14,800
‎我可以去找你,我們一起喝點黑咖啡

669
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:19,080
‎我能幫助你按照自己的步調
‎對付非常困難的科技

670
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,400
‎“安東尼克蘭斯幫助你輕鬆入門”

671
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:26,640
‎好,你覺得呢?

672
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:31,960
‎你覺得呢?

673
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:34,800
‎喂?

674
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,480
‎-等一下,大衛
‎-沒關係

675
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:49,560
‎喂?我是泰瑞吉爾

676
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:54,560
‎你就只是一直盯著我看,好嗎?
‎我臉上有可愛的貓嗎?

677
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:58,960
‎你要不要我教你使用科技?
‎我可以幫助你輕鬆入門

678
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,400
‎你說什麼?

679
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:03,160
‎別低聲下氣,泰瑞

680
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,320
‎這樣只會滅了自己的威風

681
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:12,400
‎我問你,泰瑞
‎你在科技方面需要我幫什麼忙?

682
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,200
‎可以改約其他時間嗎?

683
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:18,920
‎別這樣,小吉,泰吉

684
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,000
‎我們手上都有幾杯黑咖啡

685
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,760
‎你為什麼對科技這麼瘋狂又固執?

686
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,640
‎冷靜一點

687
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:31,120
‎這樣你不知不覺就可以比大拇指了

688
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,120
‎好

689
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:35,160
‎你的服務要多少錢?

690
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,760
‎少胡說了,泰吉

691
00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:42,240
‎這是免費的,這對你我都有幫助

692
00:39:42,720 --> 00:39:44,960
‎你想成為科技專家

693
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:49,280
‎我想活在沒有人拖累大家的世界

694
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:54,000
‎請你告訴我
‎我可以教你學習什麼科技?

695
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,800
‎我不太確定要怎麼加入群組

696
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:03,480
‎還有看照片和跟我的家人講話

697
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:04,440
‎訊息

698
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:08,840
‎-對,還有照片...
‎-全都是訊息!

699
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:16,120
‎我大老遠從格拉斯哥跑來
‎要教你學習偉大的科技

700
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:19,040
‎你竟然想叫我教你傳訊息?

701
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:23,000
‎你不會嗎?

702
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:26,280
‎我會不會傳訊息?

703
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,240
‎你是在跟我開玩笑嗎?

704
00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:32,080
‎我連在睡夢中都會傳訊息,泰瑞吉

705
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:36,680
‎我不是來傳訊息、動圖或小笑臉的

706
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:41,640
‎請你說出你把我叫來的真正原因

707
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:44,440
‎我不知道我有叫你來

708
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:49,040
‎那你在我眼中簡直太蠢了

709
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:54,520
‎你在我眼中非常蠢,泰瑞
‎你竟然會問這種簡單的問題

710
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,560
‎你在我眼中非常蠢

711
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:00,280
‎讓我看看

712
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,440
‎讓我看看你會使用什麼科技

713
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:05,520
‎這...

714
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:08,840
‎我知道要怎麼開機

715
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,720
‎你把筆電變成了噁心的黏液了

716
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,800
‎泰瑞不懂科技

717
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:25,080
‎小吉

718
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:26,520
‎小吉

719
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,680
‎你在幹嘛,小吉?冷靜點!

720
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:33,080
‎別管我,我只是想看

721
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,360
‎看什麼?看訊息嗎?

722
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,520
‎還有照片,別對我大吼

723
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:40,440
‎我沒參與其中,但我得參與其中

724
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:44,560
‎我想在群組裡留言

725
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:48,480
‎我好無聊

726
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,120
‎我非常無聊

727
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:55,080
‎我很孤單又很無聊

728
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,800
‎阿泰兄,小吉泰

729
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,720
‎我好像開始懂你了,吉

730
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:05,120
‎你知道自己能覺得無聊
‎是多幸運的事嗎?

731
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,800
‎你不會被分心

732
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:10,680
‎我就愛你這一點,泰瑞

733
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,280
‎但我需要那個

734
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:18,840
‎我說過了,泰瑞兄,你不需要那個!

735
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:22,080
‎你想變得跟他們一樣無腦嗎?

736
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:29,280
‎那好吧,我會教你的,傻瓜

737
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,760
‎看吧?這根本沒什麼,貓屎

738
00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:39,560
‎這位是盧頓賴瑞,他要幹什麼大事?

739
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:40,480
‎(我要幹大事!)

740
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:44,760
‎你不需要這項科技,你也不需要我

741
00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:48,360
‎什麼都別做,阿泰兄吉

742
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:53,680
‎沒有比盧頓賴瑞更好的東西了

743
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:56,240
‎接下來

744
00:42:57,880 --> 00:42:59,920
‎你馬上就要醒來了,泰瑞

745
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:02,600
‎你醒來之後,我希望你能答應我

746
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,640
‎你會做能讓你開心的事

747
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:09,040
‎謝謝

748
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:22,080
‎在那之後,他就創立了一個小...

749
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,880
‎嗨,你好嗎?
‎你是克萊福吧?我是傑克醫師

750
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,000
‎在我看來呢,克萊福
‎你的狀況很不錯

751
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,120
‎知道嗎?你是男患者的一分子
‎那是新的點滴嗎?

752
00:43:58,680 --> 00:43:59,520
‎對

753
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:01,320
‎很好,兄弟,看起來很棒

754
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,960
‎聽著,基本上呢
‎我今天只是想跟你聊一下

755
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:07,880
‎跟你聊聊你的檢驗結果
‎以及稍微關心你一下

756
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:11,680
‎對,所以在我看來呢,狀況蠻糟的

757
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:15,480
‎對,在我看來呢
‎你有個很罕見的血液疾病,在我看來

758
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:17,080
‎好

759
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:20,200
‎所以我的想法是,事實上呢

760
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:22,520
‎你目前僅剩的壽命就介於

761
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:25,240
‎2分鐘和2分15秒之間

762
00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:27,400
‎-好,謝謝
‎-沒關係,別擔心

763
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,320
‎這位是查克,他會在你死後
‎負責處理你的遺體,好嗎?

764
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:32,920
‎你有什麼遺言都可以跟他說,好嗎?

765
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,600
‎你還有什麼需要的東西嗎?

766
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:37,760
‎拜託說“沒有”

767
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:39,760
‎沒有

768
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,560
‎好,待會見了

769
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,240
‎我要死了

770
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,760
‎還真是棒

771
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:27,800
‎我從沒有死過

772
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,000
‎我一直都是克萊福

773
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:35,400
‎我有著克萊福的腎臟和眼睛

774
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,320
‎自從我有生命以來都是

775
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:41,400
‎所以我可以向

776
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,160
‎克萊福身體道別嗎?我...

777
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,040
‎想要感謝這個身體

778
00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:51,000
‎讓我能四處走動和泡澡

779
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:10,120
‎太好了,真棒

780
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:12,800
‎真...真棒

781
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:15,480
‎真...真是美好

782
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:18,320
‎好

783
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:23,920
‎或許我還有幾分鐘的時間
‎能跟我的身體道別

784
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,960
‎跟我的牙齒道別

785
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:33,600
‎謝謝你咬了那些難咬的肉

786
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:37,000
‎跟我的腳掌道別

787
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:41,160
‎你美麗的腳趾就像香菸一樣纖細

788
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,240
‎跟膝蓋道別

789
00:46:43,240 --> 00:46:44,880
‎不要忘了我

790
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:46,960
‎還有我讓你

791
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,080
‎跪下的那幾次

792
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:51,120
‎丟掉!

793
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:55,640
‎等等

794
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:56,840
‎有人把門鎖住了嗎?

795
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:58,320
‎-另一扇門
‎-什麼?

796
00:46:58,320 --> 00:46:59,640
‎-你把門鎖上了
‎-什麼?

797
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:01,920
‎-輪床推不出去
‎-我在忙

798
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:03,840
‎我需要屍袋,把屍袋給我

799
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:06,080
‎我沒有屍袋,用垃圾袋就好

800
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:08,280
‎他媽的死白癡

801
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:11,000
‎再見了,肩膀...

802
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,200
‎-你等一下要幹嘛?對
‎-怎樣?你要做什麼事嗎?

803
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:15,320
‎我們現在老了...

804
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,240
‎我們應該提早下班,兄弟

805
00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:18,440
‎好,沒問題

806
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:21,000
‎那你...你不是得處理這具屍體嗎?

807
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:22,480
‎沒錯,太平間離這裡多遠?

808
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:25,440
‎太平間離這裡有點遠,對吧?

809
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:28,880
‎向我的手道別

810
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:30,320
‎你跟波蘭總統

811
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:32,320
‎握過手

812
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:36,480
‎這裡好臭

813
00:47:40,240 --> 00:47:41,640
‎我現在想離開了

814
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:47,120
‎好吧,我就跟你實話實說了

815
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,880
‎這段不要和聲,拜託,拜託你們...

816
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:51,240
‎謝謝

817
00:47:51,240 --> 00:47:55,080
‎我知道有很大一部分看起來並不太好
‎但相信我說的話

818
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:59,920
‎人生除了性愛、婚姻
‎和被丟進垃圾桶之外還有很多部分

819
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,560
‎你會漸漸愛上那些細微末節之處

820
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:11,360
‎那是什麼聲音?

821
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:13,320
‎那個嗎?你喜歡那個聲音,對吧?

822
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:16,880
‎那是人在講話的聲音
‎你如果喜歡這聲音,就不會有大礙

823
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:21,240
‎人生其實有很大一部分
‎都是在聽別人講話

824
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:23,880
‎人類互動的和聲

825
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:28,240
‎聽著,相信我
‎只要是有人說過的話都很棒

826
00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:29,320
‎我告訴你

827
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,640
‎你現在就仔細聽,快

828
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:34,760
‎所有人都在各說各話

829
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:36,960
‎-這間店不錯,但很貴吧?
‎-對

830
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:38,680
‎天啊,我很喜歡垃圾電視節目

831
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,800
‎想想看要跑遍這附近的酒吧
‎需要花多少時間

832
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:47,400
‎請慢走

833
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:53,480
‎最近真的有很多牛奶

834
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:56,120
‎你有看到這些牛奶嗎?

835
00:48:56,720 --> 00:48:59,320
‎我們最近都在用該死的手機

836
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:02,320
‎所以我們得照顧自己的心理健康

837
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:04,640
‎我們也要照顧我們的手機

838
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:07,880
‎他總能讓我笑得很開心

839
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:11,240
‎他太搞笑了

840
00:49:11,240 --> 00:49:12,520
‎你們在笑什麼?

841
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:14,520
‎我們剛剛一起在講粗話

842
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:17,480
‎還有討論披薩上放鳳梨不好

843
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,800
‎我們喜歡其他配料,他媽的

844
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:22,120
‎我的特點是,我會騎腳踏車

845
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:24,240
‎我還會騎腳踏車

846
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:28,360
‎我的特點是,我需要喝咖啡

847
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:30,440
‎我是什麼樣的人?

848
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:31,680
‎我們是什麼樣的人?

849
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:33,640
‎我會騎腳踏車

850
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:36,280
‎他冒犯到我了

851
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,280
‎我在冒犯妳了

852
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:42,280
‎妳不想跟我在一起完全不合理

853
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:45,040
‎妳看不出來我想跟妳在一起嗎?

854
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:47,640
‎抱歉,你是誰?妳知道他是誰嗎?

855
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:48,560
‎完全不知道

856
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:53,280
‎所有人都在各說各話

857
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:58,160
‎我們都等不及要聽大家想說的話了

858
00:49:58,160 --> 00:49:59,600
‎我簡直累翻了

859
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:04,520
‎所有人都在說很酷的話

860
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:06,640
‎把自己認定的想法說出來

861
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:11,840
‎拜託你在說任何話之前

862
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:13,280
‎都別思考

863
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,080
‎孩子幾個月大了?

864
00:50:17,720 --> 00:50:19,520
‎大概八個半月

865
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:23,840
‎天啊,我才剛在電話上
‎跟我朋友說我累翻了

866
00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:26,400
‎累爆了

867
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:31,560
‎所有人都在各說各話

868
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:37,560
‎我們都很愛所有人想說的話

869
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:43,040
‎所有人都在講很棒的話

870
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:44,120
‎我其實不太舒服

871
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:45,600
‎在推特上發文訴說

872
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:46,960
‎然後就去睡覺

873
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:49,240
‎等你醒來之後

874
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:51,960
‎再繼續說更多話

875
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,080
‎來點音樂,他媽的瘋子

876
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:58,720
‎顯然有些人會用舞蹈
‎表達自己想說的話

877
00:51:01,240 --> 00:51:03,000
‎-天啊!
‎-很好

878
00:51:14,240 --> 00:51:18,480
‎說話

879
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:22,200
‎說話

880
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:23,720
‎來吧!

881
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:19,120
{\an8}‎字幕翻譯:高健銘



