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YTS.MX

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<i>My name is Sebastian.
And, yeah, that's me.</i>

4
00:00:32.423 --> 00:00:35.209
<i>When my mother used
to dress me for pre-school,</i>

5
00:00:35.209 --> 00:00:38.386
<i>like I was going to Studio 54.</i>

6
00:00:38.386 --> 00:00:42.433
<i>Like most American stories,
mine starts a long time ago</i>

7
00:00:42.433 --> 00:00:43.652
<i>on another continent.</i>

8
00:00:44.870 --> 00:00:49.092
<i>Specifically,
the magical island of Sicilia.</i>

9
00:00:50.963 --> 00:00:52.443
<i>A lot of folks
like to call Sicily</i>

10
00:00:52.443 --> 00:00:54.880
<i>the big ball in front
of the boot of Italy,</i>

11
00:00:54.880 --> 00:00:56.317
<i>which makes sense</i>

12
00:00:56.317 --> 00:00:57.883
<i>'cause the world's been
trying to kick our ass</i>

13
00:00:57.883 --> 00:00:59.972
<i>since the dawn of time.</i>

14
00:01:01.409 --> 00:01:03.367
<i>For generations,
my people have been</i>

15
00:01:03.367 --> 00:01:05.543
<i>threatened by wars,</i>

16
00:01:05.543 --> 00:01:07.067
<i>volcanoes,</i>

17
00:01:07.067 --> 00:01:10.070
<i>and testicle-crushing Speedos.</i>

18
00:01:11.158 --> 00:01:12.768
<i>But we survived it all</i>

19
00:01:12.768 --> 00:01:15.336
<i>through one unstoppable force.</i>

20
00:01:15.858 --> 00:01:17.468
<i>Family.</i>

21
00:01:17.468 --> 00:01:22.256
<i>These are actual photos
of my Sicilian ancestors.</i>

22
00:01:22.256 --> 00:01:25.215
<i>Note the signature
Maniscalco look.</i>

23
00:01:25.215 --> 00:01:29.306
<i>With the curved spines
and the resting bitch face,</i>

24
00:01:29.306 --> 00:01:32.701
<i>like a bunch
of pissed-off candy canes.</i>

25
00:01:32.701 --> 00:01:35.138
<i>Over the past few centuries,</i>

26
00:01:35.138 --> 00:01:40.143
<i>these proud hunchback men
have operated with one goal.</i>

27
00:01:40.143 --> 00:01:41.449
<i>Do everything you can...</i>

28
00:01:41.449 --> 00:01:43.190
<i>...to give your kids
a better life</i>

29
00:01:43.190 --> 00:01:45.061
<i>than the one you had.</i>

30
00:01:45.061 --> 00:01:47.150
<i>For my father,
this meant leaving</i>

31
00:01:47.150 --> 00:01:49.674
<i>his beloved Sicily
for Chicago.</i>

32
00:01:49.674 --> 00:01:52.024
<i>So he and my mother could
give me opportunities</i>

33
00:01:52.024 --> 00:01:53.113
<i>they never got.</i>

34
00:01:53.113 --> 00:01:55.463
<i>Like shoveling snow.</i>

35
00:01:55.463 --> 00:01:58.727
<i>Growing a beautiful mullet.</i>

36
00:01:58.727 --> 00:02:00.207
<i>And going to the prom</i>

37
00:02:00.207 --> 00:02:01.730
<i>looking like a pit boss.</i>

38
00:02:03.297 --> 00:02:05.212
<i>Growing up,
my father busted his hump</i>

39
00:02:05.212 --> 00:02:07.214
<i>to instill in me certain rules</i>

40
00:02:07.214 --> 00:02:09.868
<i>of how a man should operate.</i>

41
00:02:09.868 --> 00:02:13.220
<i>Like, if you're awake,
you should be workin'.</i>

42
00:02:13.220 --> 00:02:14.743
Hey, how's
the pressure,
Mrs. Marinelli?

43
00:02:14.743 --> 00:02:16.440
Harder.

44
00:02:16.440 --> 00:02:17.963
You got to get in there, son.
I don't pay you by the hour,

45
00:02:17.963 --> 00:02:19.487
I pay you
by the moan, capisce?

46
00:02:22.011 --> 00:02:23.491
<i>Guy
with the ponytail,</i>

47
00:02:23.491 --> 00:02:24.927
<i>that's my dad.</i>

48
00:02:24.927 --> 00:02:27.364
<i>Did I mention he owns a salon?</i>

49
00:02:27.364 --> 00:02:30.846
<i>The man comes from a long line
of Sicilian hairstylists.</i>

50
00:02:30.846 --> 00:02:33.022
<i>And don't you dare
call him a barber.</i>

51
00:02:33.022 --> 00:02:35.329
<i>This man doesn't
just cut hair,</i>

52
00:02:35.329 --> 00:02:37.505
<i>he creates styles.</i>

53
00:02:37.505 --> 00:02:39.507
Salvo,

54
00:02:39.507 --> 00:02:40.899
it's beautiful.

55
00:02:40.899 --> 00:02:42.901
See? I told you
you had cheekbones
under there.

56
00:02:42.901 --> 00:02:45.426
You just needed Michelangelo
to dig them out.

57
00:02:45.426 --> 00:02:48.124
<i>Child labor laws
were definitely broken.</i>

58
00:02:48.124 --> 00:02:49.430
<i>But on the bright side,</i>

59
00:02:49.430 --> 00:02:52.172
<i>I had the most realistic
Chewbacca costume</i>

60
00:02:52.172 --> 00:02:53.999
<i>in the history of Halloween.</i>

61
00:02:56.350 --> 00:02:58.917
<i>He taught me
to always save your money.</i>

62
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No apps, no dessert.

63
00:03:00.484 --> 00:03:01.833
And if you don't
finish your main,

64
00:03:01.833 --> 00:03:03.618
you're paying
for your own
birthday dinner.

65
00:03:07.187 --> 00:03:09.450
<i>And to be resourceful.</i>

66
00:03:09.450 --> 00:03:10.886
You wanted me
to buy you
a skateboard,

67
00:03:10.886 --> 00:03:12.279
I built you
one instead.

68
00:03:14.106 --> 00:03:15.107
Next year,
I'm gonna
build you

69
00:03:15.107 --> 00:03:17.197
one of those Nintendos.

70
00:03:17.197 --> 00:03:19.329
<i>But one exception, cologne.</i>

71
00:03:19.329 --> 00:03:23.377
<i>Never cheap out
on your signature scent.</i>

72
00:03:23.377 --> 00:03:26.902
<i>At bedtime, our house smelled
like an Uber in Las Vegas.</i>

73
00:03:30.253 --> 00:03:32.734
<i>The only time I saw
my father smile is</i>

74
00:03:32.734 --> 00:03:33.996
<i>when we did
the chicken dance</i>

75
00:03:33.996 --> 00:03:35.084
<i>for my mother.</i>

76
00:03:37.565 --> 00:03:40.002
<i>To me, this man was a God.</i>

77
00:03:41.482 --> 00:03:43.701
<i>And it was all
working out great</i>

78
00:03:43.701 --> 00:03:45.573
<i>until I grew up,</i>

79
00:03:45.573 --> 00:03:49.707
<i>and fell for someone
who was my complete opposite.</i>

80
00:03:49.707 --> 00:03:52.232
<i>Her name was Ellie.</i>

81
00:03:53.189 --> 00:03:55.539
<i>I mean, look at this girl.</i>

82
00:03:55.539 --> 00:03:59.717
<i>The style, the positivity,</i>

83
00:03:59.717 --> 00:04:01.850
<i>personality.</i>

84
00:04:01.850 --> 00:04:04.722
<i>Yeah, this was my dream woman.</i>

85
00:04:08.117 --> 00:04:09.249
Sebastian!

86
00:04:10.772 --> 00:04:12.904
Ah! I'm so sorry
I'm late.

87
00:04:12.904 --> 00:04:15.342
This guy's charging
$15 for valet.

88
00:04:15.342 --> 00:04:17.126
So I parked it
nine blocks away.

89
00:04:17.126 --> 00:04:19.041
Wait a minute,
if you parked
that far away,

90
00:04:19.041 --> 00:04:21.043
how are you so dry?
You sweat just
getting the mail.

91
00:04:21.043 --> 00:04:23.219
It's the Fendi, babe.

92
00:04:23.219 --> 00:04:25.352
It's wicking away.

93
00:04:26.396 --> 00:04:28.050
- You want one?
- Yeah.

94
00:04:28.050 --> 00:04:29.486
You know,
everyone said
I should serve

95
00:04:29.486 --> 00:04:31.749
fancy food
at my opening,
and I was like,

96
00:04:31.749 --> 00:04:36.537
"Name one person
that doesn't like
a hot dog."

97
00:04:36.537 --> 00:04:39.279
<i>And get this, she's an artist.</i>

98
00:04:39.279 --> 00:04:41.019
<i>I mean, growing up,
I wasn't even allowed</i>

99
00:04:41.019 --> 00:04:42.543
<i>to do it as a hobby.</i>

100
00:04:42.543 --> 00:04:43.631
So how's
the show going?

101
00:04:43.631 --> 00:04:46.068
Oh, my God!
Freaking amazing.

102
00:04:46.068 --> 00:04:48.113
All my pieces sold out
in like 15 minutes.

103
00:04:48.113 --> 00:04:50.594
- Babe, that's incredible.
- I know, right?

104
00:04:50.594 --> 00:04:52.988
I mean, most of them went
to this big decorator,

105
00:04:52.988 --> 00:04:56.296
but they have clients
all over the world,
so I'm not complaining.

106
00:04:56.296 --> 00:04:57.906
Well, you shouldn't.

107
00:04:57.906 --> 00:04:59.734
Especially because they look,
kind of like, you know...

108
00:05:00.865 --> 00:05:02.432
Vaginas?

109
00:05:02.432 --> 00:05:05.566
Well, you know,
if you just hang
them horizontally,

110
00:05:08.046 --> 00:05:09.657
they kind of look
like sunsets.

111
00:05:09.657 --> 00:05:11.049
Oh, yeah.

112
00:05:11.049 --> 00:05:12.312
Right.

113
00:05:12.312 --> 00:05:13.661
<i>Since the day I met her,</i>

114
00:05:13.661 --> 00:05:15.315
<i>she's been opening my eyes</i>

115
00:05:15.315 --> 00:05:18.100
<i>to all kinds
of new experiences.</i>

116
00:05:18.100 --> 00:05:19.493
<i>Like naps.</i>

117
00:05:19.493 --> 00:05:21.408
Weird.

118
00:05:21.408 --> 00:05:23.758
The sun's coming
through the drapes.

119
00:05:23.758 --> 00:05:25.412
<i>And beauty treatments.</i>

120
00:05:25.412 --> 00:05:27.762
Hey, hot stuff.
Looking good.

121
00:05:27.762 --> 00:05:28.850
Wait, are you mad?

122
00:05:28.850 --> 00:05:30.330
Yeah.

123
00:05:30.330 --> 00:05:32.897
That it took 42 years
to discover avocado masks.

124
00:05:32.897 --> 00:05:34.856
<i>And last but not least,</i>

125
00:05:34.856 --> 00:05:35.900
<i>smiling.</i>

126
00:05:37.685 --> 00:05:39.643
Okay. Um...

127
00:05:39.643 --> 00:05:41.384
- It's not natural.
- That's...

128
00:05:41.384 --> 00:05:44.387
That's not
particularly natural.
But you know what I think?

129
00:05:44.387 --> 00:05:47.129
I think we just
have to build these
facial muscles,

130
00:05:47.129 --> 00:05:48.652
so you just
got to practice.

131
00:05:48.652 --> 00:05:50.698
Look at that.
Now try it.

132
00:05:50.698 --> 00:05:52.395
I don't... You
look great.

133
00:05:55.485 --> 00:05:58.706
<i>Yeah, life
with Ellie was pretty perfect.</i>

134
00:06:01.926 --> 00:06:03.275
I don't think
I could participate.

135
00:06:03.275 --> 00:06:04.451
That's just ridiculous.

136
00:06:04.451 --> 00:06:05.930
- You promised.
- Oh, come on!

137
00:06:05.930 --> 00:06:08.759
A public wedding
proposal? It's
embarrassing.

138
00:06:08.759 --> 00:06:10.326
I think
it's sweet.

139
00:06:10.326 --> 00:06:12.110
When I propose
to you,

140
00:06:12.110 --> 00:06:13.547
it's going
to be intimate.

141
00:06:13.547 --> 00:06:15.113
- Hmm.
- Just you and me,

142
00:06:15.113 --> 00:06:16.463
the way
it should be.

143
00:06:16.463 --> 00:06:18.116
- Hmm.
- No one else.

144
00:06:18.116 --> 00:06:19.988
Used to be,
"If I propose."

145
00:06:19.988 --> 00:06:21.816
You just said,
"When I propose."

146
00:06:21.816 --> 00:06:23.731
Okay, babe,
it's just...
I'm aggravated.

147
00:06:23.731 --> 00:06:25.820
Words are just
flying out
of my mouth.

148
00:06:25.820 --> 00:06:26.908
Well, just
so you know,

149
00:06:26.908 --> 00:06:29.171
the only way
I will say yes,

150
00:06:29.171 --> 00:06:30.607
is if there is
some element

151
00:06:30.607 --> 00:06:32.304
of public
humiliation involved.

152
00:06:32.304 --> 00:06:33.871
- Oh, well.
- Get ready.

153
00:06:33.871 --> 00:06:35.830
You might as well just end
the relationship right now,

154
00:06:35.830 --> 00:06:38.180
because we ain't
- doing that.
- Oh, we're not?

155
00:06:38.180 --> 00:06:39.529
I'm not
- doing this.
- But you're

156
00:06:39.529 --> 00:06:41.052
- such a good dancer.
- Look at these people.

157
00:06:41.052 --> 00:06:44.360
Uh, Ellie?
I kind of need
your help right now.

158
00:06:44.360 --> 00:06:46.971
Right, dude,
we are in!

159
00:06:52.455 --> 00:06:55.110
<i>The truth was,
I had every intention</i>

160
00:06:55.110 --> 00:06:57.112
<i>of asking Ellie to marry me.</i>

161
00:06:58.374 --> 00:07:02.422
<i>I just needed
the right place and time.</i>

162
00:07:06.469 --> 00:07:07.688
I see you, guy.

163
00:07:07.688 --> 00:07:09.690
I see you.

164
00:07:09.690 --> 00:07:12.344
All right? Pick it up.

165
00:07:12.344 --> 00:07:14.956
Thank you.
- Take a walk.
Sebastian.

166
00:07:14.956 --> 00:07:16.958
I'm on the phone
with my parents
and get this,

167
00:07:18.829 --> 00:07:20.527
they're inviting us

168
00:07:21.528 --> 00:07:22.703
out to the summer place

169
00:07:22.703 --> 00:07:25.270
for the big
4th-of-July weekend.

170
00:07:25.270 --> 00:07:27.664
Babe, did you
- just say "us"?
- Us.

171
00:07:27.664 --> 00:07:28.970
I thought this trip
was for family only.

172
00:07:28.970 --> 00:07:30.972
I know! I mean,
I'm so torn

173
00:07:30.972 --> 00:07:33.061
between thinking
this is great news,

174
00:07:33.061 --> 00:07:34.149
or that I might be
dragging you

175
00:07:34.149 --> 00:07:36.107
into an Italian version
of <i>Get Out.</i>

176
00:07:36.107 --> 00:07:37.805
I'm not sure. Oh, uh, uh...

177
00:07:37.805 --> 00:07:40.851
Yes, yes, yes,
Mother, yes. I'm
asking him right now,

178
00:07:40.851 --> 00:07:42.287
please hold.

179
00:07:42.287 --> 00:07:43.593
What do you think?

180
00:07:46.944 --> 00:07:49.730
Yeah.

181
00:07:49.730 --> 00:07:52.080
He's man-crying.
That means it's a yes.

182
00:07:52.080 --> 00:07:53.908
- Yes!
- I love you.

183
00:07:54.691 --> 00:07:55.910
I'm gonna
get you tissues.

184
00:07:55.910 --> 00:07:58.565
I love you.
I'm so excited.

185
00:07:58.565 --> 00:08:01.524
<i>So, yeah,
I'm a big crier.</i>

186
00:08:01.524 --> 00:08:04.614
<i>I love to just marinate
in my own tears.</i>

187
00:08:04.614 --> 00:08:05.920
Mmm.

188
00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:07.922
<i>But this was a huge deal.</i>

189
00:08:09.750 --> 00:08:12.666
<i>Ellie's summer place wasn't
just the perfect spot</i>

190
00:08:12.666 --> 00:08:14.232
<i>to propose.</i>

191
00:08:14.232 --> 00:08:17.714
<i>It also meant her family was
starting to accept me.</i>

192
00:08:17.714 --> 00:08:20.282
<i>Which was amazing, because...</i>

193
00:08:20.282 --> 00:08:22.545
<i>How do I put this eloquently?</i>

194
00:08:22.545 --> 00:08:27.419
<i>These people got
class up the ass.</i>

195
00:08:30.205 --> 00:08:34.296
<i>I mean, look at these people
with their perfect postures,</i>

196
00:08:34.296 --> 00:08:36.516
<i>and their perfect teeth.</i>

197
00:08:36.516 --> 00:08:38.561
<i>Even their dog went
to better schools</i>

198
00:08:38.561 --> 00:08:40.041
<i>than I did.</i>

199
00:08:40.041 --> 00:08:41.433
<i>I was intimidated,</i>

200
00:08:41.433 --> 00:08:43.174
<i>which really didn't
make any sense</i>

201
00:08:43.174 --> 00:08:47.831
<i>as their story was also
an immigrant story.</i>

202
00:08:47.831 --> 00:08:52.140
<i>For some reason, theirs was
considered more respectable,</i>

203
00:08:52.140 --> 00:08:54.708
<i>as it started 400 years ago.</i>

204
00:08:54.708 --> 00:08:56.753
<i>Now, this is
an actual painting</i>

205
00:08:56.753 --> 00:08:59.060
<i>of Ellie's
10th great grandfather,</i>

206
00:08:59.060 --> 00:09:03.107
<i>William Love Collins,
taking his family to America,</i>

207
00:09:03.107 --> 00:09:06.328
<i>on a little boat called
the</i> Mayflower.

208
00:09:06.328 --> 00:09:09.157
<i>You got it. That one.</i>

209
00:09:09.157 --> 00:09:12.595
<i>So while my father came
to chase the American dream,</i>

210
00:09:12.595 --> 00:09:15.685
<i>the Collins were
the American dream,</i>

211
00:09:15.685 --> 00:09:18.079
<i>all the way
up to Ellie's dad.</i>

212
00:09:18.079 --> 00:09:20.734
<i>William Love Collins XII.</i>

213
00:09:20.734 --> 00:09:22.431
<i>Only Italian guys I knew</i>

214
00:09:22.431 --> 00:09:24.564
<i>with Roman numerals
after their names...</i>

215
00:09:24.564 --> 00:09:26.261
<i>...are popes,</i>

216
00:09:26.261 --> 00:09:29.220
<i>and Rocky Balboa.</i>

217
00:09:29.220 --> 00:09:31.092
<i>Her dad is
the chairman and CEO</i>

218
00:09:31.092 --> 00:09:33.529
<i>of the luxurious
Collins Hotel Group,</i>

219
00:09:33.529 --> 00:09:35.009
<i>which was awkward,</i>

220
00:09:35.009 --> 00:09:37.707
<i>as I happened to run
a cool new boutique hotel,</i>

221
00:09:37.707 --> 00:09:40.188
<i>which was stealing
a lot of his Chicago business.</i>

222
00:09:40.971 --> 00:09:42.190
<i>Bottom line?</i>

223
00:09:42.190 --> 00:09:45.628
<i>His baby girl was
dating the enemy.</i>

224
00:09:45.628 --> 00:09:48.979
<i>But Bill wasn't even
the scary parent.</i>

225
00:09:48.979 --> 00:09:51.547
<i>That honor belonged
to Ellie's mother,</i>

226
00:09:51.547 --> 00:09:56.421
<i>whose actual birth name
was Tigger MacArthur.</i>

227
00:09:56.421 --> 00:09:59.686
Anna, darling,
you don't know
anything about me.

228
00:09:59.686 --> 00:10:02.253
<i>And this kitty's got claws.</i>

229
00:10:02.253 --> 00:10:04.342
<i>As an Ivy League
grad-turned-senator</i>

230
00:10:04.342 --> 00:10:05.822
<i>for the state of Maryland,</i>

231
00:10:05.822 --> 00:10:07.868
<i>it took her a long time</i>

232
00:10:07.868 --> 00:10:11.349
<i>to wrap her mind around
her beloved daughter dating</i>

233
00:10:11.349 --> 00:10:14.265
<i>some working-class
hotel manager.</i>

234
00:10:14.265 --> 00:10:16.659
How could I be
anti-immigrant

235
00:10:16.659 --> 00:10:19.836
when my daughter is
dating the son of one?

236
00:10:20.924 --> 00:10:22.404
<i>But this invite meant</i>

237
00:10:22.404 --> 00:10:25.320
<i>I was finally
breaking through.</i>

238
00:10:25.320 --> 00:10:27.931
<i>A holiday weekend was
my chance to charm</i>

239
00:10:27.931 --> 00:10:30.542
<i>the pleated pants
off these people.</i>

240
00:10:30.542 --> 00:10:32.893
<i>And if all went well,</i>

241
00:10:32.893 --> 00:10:36.026
<i>I could ask
for their daughter's
hand in marriage.</i>

242
00:10:37.898 --> 00:10:40.814
<i>So, I had the girl
I wanted to marry,</i>

243
00:10:40.814 --> 00:10:43.643
<i>the perfect spot
to propose to her,</i>

244
00:10:43.643 --> 00:10:46.341
<i>and now,
I just needed the ring,</i>

245
00:10:46.341 --> 00:10:48.648
<i>which should have
been easy to get.</i>

246
00:10:48.648 --> 00:10:49.736
Oh, come on. What do you mean

247
00:10:49.736 --> 00:10:51.520
you're not gonna
give me the ring?

248
00:10:51.520 --> 00:10:53.609
Grandma left it for me
to use when I'm ready
to get married.

249
00:10:53.609 --> 00:10:55.350
Uh, your grandmother
left it with me

250
00:10:55.350 --> 00:10:56.960
to make sure you just
don't give it away

251
00:10:56.960 --> 00:10:59.136
to some <i>puttana,</i> that's what
your grandmother did.

252
00:10:59.136 --> 00:11:01.225
Can you come out
of the garden so
we can talk about this?

253
00:11:03.924 --> 00:11:06.709
They're back.
They're back there
messing with my <i>gagootz.</i>

254
00:11:06.709 --> 00:11:08.668
Forget the <i>gagootz.</i>

255
00:11:08.668 --> 00:11:10.757
Dad, the ring,
- can I have it?
- Look at that.

256
00:11:12.193 --> 00:11:13.498
You know,
I don't know
about this girl,

257
00:11:13.498 --> 00:11:15.239
I gotta tell ya.
I'm not sure
about her.

258
00:11:15.239 --> 00:11:16.937
She put her feet up
on my coffee table,

259
00:11:16.937 --> 00:11:18.373
I don't know... You put
your feet up

260
00:11:18.373 --> 00:11:19.548
on your
- coffee table.
- Yeah, my coffee table,

261
00:11:19.548 --> 00:11:20.723
my feet.

262
00:11:20.723 --> 00:11:22.116
What do you
think is this?

263
00:11:22.116 --> 00:11:24.466
- What bites? A raccoon?
- Ants? Is it an ant?

264
00:11:25.728 --> 00:11:27.338
An ant. You got
to to be kidding me.

265
00:11:28.775 --> 00:11:30.690
Let's see.
Okay, here we are.

266
00:11:30.690 --> 00:11:32.909
Look at them.
That's a possum.

267
00:11:32.909 --> 00:11:35.216
Possum. They're dead.

268
00:11:35.216 --> 00:11:36.739
- Dead, gone.
- Oh, no. Come on,

269
00:11:36.739 --> 00:11:38.741
with the thing again... Gone from this earth.

270
00:11:38.741 --> 00:11:41.004
- Instant death.
- Just set a trap.

271
00:11:41.004 --> 00:11:42.484
Yeah, I'm gonna
set a trap.

272
00:11:42.484 --> 00:11:44.181
I'm gonna get
my antifreeze,
my little...

273
00:11:44.181 --> 00:11:45.835
<i>When I was a kid,</i>

274
00:11:45.835 --> 00:11:48.359
<i>I thought everything
my dad did was normal.</i>

275
00:11:49.534 --> 00:11:51.754
<i>If some string beans
went missing,</i>

276
00:11:51.754 --> 00:11:55.018
<i>I'd wake up to a yard
full of poisoned squirrels,</i>

277
00:11:55.018 --> 00:11:57.194
<i>birds, chipmunks,</i>

278
00:11:57.194 --> 00:11:58.456
<i>basically anything</i>

279
00:11:58.456 --> 00:12:00.850
<i>that ever helped
Cinderella get dressed,</i>

280
00:12:00.850 --> 00:12:03.505
<i>murdered in our backyard.</i>

281
00:12:03.505 --> 00:12:05.246
Come on, Dad.
Could you just admit

282
00:12:05.246 --> 00:12:07.378
that Ellie's not
some <i>puttana?</i>

283
00:12:07.378 --> 00:12:08.815
I love her, you love her.

284
00:12:08.815 --> 00:12:11.600
Just give me the ring
so I can propose.

285
00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:12.906
You really serious
about this?

286
00:12:12.906 --> 00:12:14.472
Yeah, Dad,
she's the one.

287
00:12:14.472 --> 00:12:15.735
- She's the one?
- Yeah.

288
00:12:15.735 --> 00:12:16.997
Okay, son, you know
what I'm gonna do?

289
00:12:16.997 --> 00:12:18.520
I'm gonna give
- you the ring.
- Thank you.

290
00:12:18.520 --> 00:12:20.740
But first I gotta
meet her family.

291
00:12:20.740 --> 00:12:22.437
- What? Why?
- Why?

292
00:12:25.266 --> 00:12:27.094
-  That's why.
- What the hell
does that mean?

293
00:12:27.094 --> 00:12:28.965
You got
no respect
for your roots.

294
00:12:28.965 --> 00:12:30.358
I mean, what are
you talking about?

295
00:12:30.358 --> 00:12:31.533
You don't eat
the fruit till
you make sure

296
00:12:31.533 --> 00:12:32.839
the tree ain't sick.

297
00:12:32.839 --> 00:12:34.362
And per tradition,
I need to look

298
00:12:34.362 --> 00:12:35.929
at the mother
and the father's eyes.

299
00:12:35.929 --> 00:12:37.452
I need to look them
in the eyes

300
00:12:37.452 --> 00:12:38.975
to make sure there's no rot.

301
00:12:38.975 --> 00:12:40.585
Because there could be rot.
- Not that there is.
- What?

302
00:12:40.585 --> 00:12:42.805
- But there could be.
- There's no rot
in this family, Dad.

303
00:12:42.805 --> 00:12:44.154
- You never know.
- They're classy.

304
00:12:44.154 --> 00:12:45.939
- You never know.
- Come on, they're
classy people.

305
00:12:45.939 --> 00:12:47.288
Oh, yeah.

306
00:12:47.288 --> 00:12:48.724
The fancier,
the dirtier.

307
00:12:48.724 --> 00:12:50.030
You never know
what's going on.

308
00:12:50.030 --> 00:12:51.727
Plus, they don't live
anywhere near here.

309
00:12:51.727 --> 00:12:53.337
So let me just put you
on a FaceTime,

310
00:12:53.337 --> 00:12:55.165
so you could
taste test them
over the phone.

311
00:12:55.165 --> 00:12:58.168
Hey, I'm not doing FaceTime.
This is an important moment.

312
00:12:58.168 --> 00:12:59.953
FaceTime, Zoom?
What are you, crazy?

313
00:12:59.953 --> 00:13:01.868
You don't gotta
get all upset.
No, gotta be <i>faccia con faccia.</i>

314
00:13:01.868 --> 00:13:04.827
Dad, I want
to do this
next weekend

315
00:13:04.827 --> 00:13:07.221
at their family's house
in the country.

316
00:13:07.221 --> 00:13:09.092
Wait... wait.
Hold on, hold on.

317
00:13:09.092 --> 00:13:10.659
This is the first summer

318
00:13:10.659 --> 00:13:12.879
since we had to say goodbye
to your poor dear mother,

319
00:13:12.879 --> 00:13:14.054
and you're going
to leave me alone

320
00:13:14.054 --> 00:13:15.751
for the goddamn 4th of July?

321
00:13:15.751 --> 00:13:17.100
Well, it's just that,
you know,

322
00:13:17.100 --> 00:13:19.407
her family invited me
to their summer house.

323
00:13:19.407 --> 00:13:20.843
Oh, their summer home?

324
00:13:20.843 --> 00:13:22.062
Oh, most people got one home,
but they got 'em

325
00:13:22.062 --> 00:13:23.759
for different seasons.
Oh, that's nice.

326
00:13:23.759 --> 00:13:25.543
Come on, Dad. So they got
more money than us,

327
00:13:25.543 --> 00:13:28.068
who doesn't? Plus,
it's just for one weekend.

328
00:13:28.068 --> 00:13:30.722
Oh, one weekend, he says.
One weekend.

329
00:13:30.722 --> 00:13:32.637
Fifty years ago,
I come to this country

330
00:13:32.637 --> 00:13:33.900
to give you a better life.

331
00:13:33.900 --> 00:13:35.379
Fifty years ago,

332
00:13:35.379 --> 00:13:38.165
I skipped every weekend
in Sicily for you.

333
00:13:38.165 --> 00:13:39.688
I joined the US Army

334
00:13:39.688 --> 00:13:41.951
to protect your freedoms.
And what thanks do I get?

335
00:13:41.951 --> 00:13:43.735
You go celebrate
the 4th of July

336
00:13:43.735 --> 00:13:44.824
with some other family,

337
00:13:44.824 --> 00:13:45.999
leaving me
to burn the sparklers

338
00:13:45.999 --> 00:13:47.870
and eat the hot dogs alone!

339
00:13:47.870 --> 00:13:50.003
Alone! Thank you.

340
00:13:51.743 --> 00:13:53.180
This is incredible.

341
00:13:59.142 --> 00:14:01.014
Wait, what do you mean
you're not coming?

342
00:14:01.014 --> 00:14:03.320
I can't leave my father.

343
00:14:03.320 --> 00:14:05.757
The 4th of July was
their favorite holiday.

344
00:14:05.757 --> 00:14:07.585
Because of his
military background?

345
00:14:07.585 --> 00:14:10.371
No, it's the only holiday
you don't have to buy a gift.

346
00:14:10.371 --> 00:14:12.155
I'm sorry, Ellie.

347
00:14:12.155 --> 00:14:14.157
We'll just do it
some other time.

348
00:14:14.157 --> 00:14:15.419
Why don't
we just bring him?

349
00:14:15.419 --> 00:14:16.638
What happened?

350
00:14:16.638 --> 00:14:19.902
I mean, if he...
loves the 4th,

351
00:14:19.902 --> 00:14:21.817
he's gonna flip out
at our place.

352
00:14:21.817 --> 00:14:24.646
There's all
kinds of fun
family activities.

353
00:14:24.646 --> 00:14:26.996
There's fireworks.
There's even a huge clambake

354
00:14:26.996 --> 00:14:28.868
with tons of fresh fish.

355
00:14:28.868 --> 00:14:30.304
He loves to de-bone fish.

356
00:14:31.174 --> 00:14:32.132
Kind of perfect.

357
00:14:33.568 --> 00:14:36.092
<i>My father
getting a close-up look</i>

358
00:14:36.092 --> 00:14:37.441
<i>at my new life,</i>

359
00:14:37.441 --> 00:14:39.313
<i>while I was trying
to seal the deal</i>

360
00:14:39.313 --> 00:14:41.184
<i>with Ellie's parents?</i>

361
00:14:41.184 --> 00:14:43.317
<i>What an incredible idea!</i>

362
00:14:43.317 --> 00:14:44.622
Nah, I don't think so.

363
00:14:44.622 --> 00:14:46.363
I should probably
just stay here with him.

364
00:14:46.363 --> 00:14:47.669
Boo!

365
00:14:48.452 --> 00:14:50.715
Come on.

366
00:14:50.715 --> 00:14:53.370
Don't you want
our families
to finally meet?

367
00:14:53.370 --> 00:14:55.198
Yeah, of course I do.

368
00:14:56.547 --> 00:14:58.158
Why is your voice
going up like that?

369
00:14:58.158 --> 00:14:59.289
What's going on?

370
00:14:59.855 --> 00:15:00.900
Are you...

371
00:15:02.249 --> 00:15:04.425
Are you nervous
to bring him?

372
00:15:04.425 --> 00:15:06.296
Ner... No.

373
00:15:06.296 --> 00:15:08.342
No. What? No, no.

374
00:15:08.342 --> 00:15:09.604
All right, fine.

375
00:15:10.344 --> 00:15:11.562
Don't bring him.

376
00:15:11.562 --> 00:15:12.694
Don't come.

377
00:15:14.391 --> 00:15:16.916
Don't have fun.
It's fine.

378
00:15:16.916 --> 00:15:18.874
<i>All right,
maybe I was a little scared</i>

379
00:15:18.874 --> 00:15:21.572
<i>to bring my father
into a country club environment,</i>

380
00:15:21.572 --> 00:15:24.184
<i>where he'd see me playing
racquet sports,</i>

381
00:15:24.184 --> 00:15:27.883
<i>riding around in golf carts,
and taking naps.</i>

382
00:15:27.883 --> 00:15:30.668
<i>But I also knew
that stubborn bastard wouldn't</i>

383
00:15:30.668 --> 00:15:33.410
<i>give me the ring without
a face-to-face meeting.</i>

384
00:15:34.368 --> 00:15:36.413
Fine. You win.
I'll ask him.

385
00:15:38.241 --> 00:15:40.287
Hey, don't get
all excited, all right?

386
00:15:40.287 --> 00:15:43.029
This guy's big on tradition.
I doubt he'll even say yes.

387
00:15:43.029 --> 00:15:44.465
Shit, yeah. I'm coming.

388
00:15:44.465 --> 00:15:46.075
No, wait, wait,
wait. Seriously?

389
00:15:46.075 --> 00:15:47.598
Of course, I'm coming.
What are we gonna
do instead?

390
00:15:47.598 --> 00:15:48.730
Spend the whole
weekend alone,

391
00:15:48.730 --> 00:15:49.818
just the two of us
in the house,

392
00:15:49.818 --> 00:15:51.037
burning the sparklers

393
00:15:51.037 --> 00:15:53.082
and eating the hotdogs?
Yeah, I'm coming.

394
00:15:53.082 --> 00:15:54.431
That's the same
example you used

395
00:15:54.431 --> 00:15:55.867
to guilt trip me
into not going.

396
00:15:55.867 --> 00:15:57.565
Well, what can I say.
I got a way with words.

397
00:15:57.565 --> 00:15:59.001
You know me.

398
00:15:59.001 --> 00:16:00.089
All right, listen.
If we're gonna do this, Dad,

399
00:16:00.089 --> 00:16:01.438
you gotta be
on your best behavior.

400
00:16:01.438 --> 00:16:03.092
Wha... What do you mean,
my best behavior?

401
00:16:03.092 --> 00:16:04.964
The family is uptight,

402
00:16:04.964 --> 00:16:06.356
they're conservative,
they're not used to...

403
00:16:06.356 --> 00:16:07.662
Hold on, hold on, hold on.

404
00:16:07.662 --> 00:16:10.056
So, you, the son, are
telling me, the father,

405
00:16:10.056 --> 00:16:11.057
how to behave?

406
00:16:11.753 --> 00:16:13.407
You hear this?

407
00:16:13.407 --> 00:16:15.235
Just remember the main goal
is for you to meet the family,

408
00:16:15.235 --> 00:16:17.367
so I can get the ring
and propose to Ellie.

409
00:16:17.367 --> 00:16:18.499
It's not for you
to price check

410
00:16:18.499 --> 00:16:19.717
their antique coffee tables.

411
00:16:19.717 --> 00:16:21.197
Come on, already!
I mean, how fancy

412
00:16:21.197 --> 00:16:22.503
could a stupid
coffee table be?

413
00:16:22.503 --> 00:16:24.200
I mean, seriously,
how much we talking?

414
00:16:24.200 --> 00:16:26.420
I don't know, Dad.

415
00:16:26.420 --> 00:16:28.770
I'm kidding you. <i>Mannaggia.</i>
Where's
your sense of humor?

416
00:16:28.770 --> 00:16:29.814
- Jeez. Come on.
- All I'm asking is

417
00:16:29.814 --> 00:16:31.294
dial it down with the...

418
00:16:31.294 --> 00:16:32.382
What, all the...

419
00:16:32.382 --> 00:16:33.601
This is...
What is this?

420
00:16:33.601 --> 00:16:35.124
Look at him.
Look at him.

421
00:16:35.124 --> 00:16:36.299
Dial it down
with all this
and that.

422
00:16:36.299 --> 00:16:37.387
You know what
he's worried about?

423
00:16:37.387 --> 00:16:38.693
He's worried

424
00:16:38.693 --> 00:16:40.129
his immigrant father's
gonna make him look

425
00:16:40.129 --> 00:16:41.783
like some kind
of goombah.

426
00:16:41.783 --> 00:16:43.176
Let me tell you something.

427
00:16:43.176 --> 00:16:44.829
You don't remember
this because I'm your dad

428
00:16:44.829 --> 00:16:46.657
but a lot of people
find me charming,

429
00:16:46.657 --> 00:16:48.050
pretty charming,
that's right. Right.

430
00:16:48.050 --> 00:16:49.356
- Right, ladies?
Yeah.

431
00:16:49.356 --> 00:16:51.619
And these
stuck-up rich people?

432
00:16:51.619 --> 00:16:52.837
They got a word for me...

433
00:16:52.837 --> 00:16:55.101
I remember, it's loud,
it's obnoxious,

434
00:16:55.101 --> 00:16:56.493
it's over-cologned.

435
00:16:56.493 --> 00:16:58.408
No, no. "Refreshing."

436
00:16:58.408 --> 00:17:00.323
"He's refreshing."
"He's so original."

437
00:17:00.323 --> 00:17:02.630
I've heard that all...
All the time I hear that.

438
00:17:02.630 --> 00:17:05.285
And I promise you
Ellie's parents
are gonna love me.

439
00:17:05.285 --> 00:17:06.895
I don't know about
you, but they're going
to love me.

440
00:17:06.895 --> 00:17:08.375
- Mm-hmm.
- Ladies,
you better get

441
00:17:08.375 --> 00:17:09.898
your 'dos done
by Thursday

442
00:17:09.898 --> 00:17:12.074
'cause the Maniscalco men,
they're going on vacation.

443
00:17:13.989 --> 00:17:15.512
He's worried.

444
00:17:15.512 --> 00:17:17.558
This kid is
worried. I'm not.

445
00:17:35.706 --> 00:17:37.143
What the hell
are you doing?

446
00:17:37.143 --> 00:17:38.970
- You can't smoke here.
- What? I'm outside.

447
00:17:38.970 --> 00:17:40.059
Next to an airplane!

448
00:17:40.059 --> 00:17:42.148
- Oh, sorry!
That's okay.

449
00:17:42.148 --> 00:17:44.759
<i>Mannaggia.</i>
Can't even
smoke a cigar.

450
00:17:44.759 --> 00:17:46.413
I got some
good news.

451
00:17:46.413 --> 00:17:47.979
I got us
a luxury sedan

452
00:17:47.979 --> 00:17:49.938
for the price
of a compact.

453
00:17:49.938 --> 00:17:51.505
That's nice,
but makes
me wonder

454
00:17:51.505 --> 00:17:53.463
how much the compact
you could've got for.

455
00:17:53.463 --> 00:17:55.726
Then I took
the compact price

456
00:17:55.726 --> 00:17:57.380
and got it
on the house!

457
00:17:57.380 --> 00:17:59.295
- Hey!
- Hey! Nice!

458
00:17:59.295 --> 00:18:01.471
- Baby, the bags.
- Yeah. How long does
it take to get there?

459
00:18:01.471 --> 00:18:03.343
Um, like, three hours.

460
00:18:03.343 --> 00:18:04.909
Hey, you guys
looking for a ride?

461
00:18:05.823 --> 00:18:07.477
Oh, my God.

462
00:18:07.477 --> 00:18:08.826
Lucky!

463
00:18:08.826 --> 00:18:10.437
Oh, no.

464
00:18:10.437 --> 00:18:12.091
Who's that,
an ex-boyfriend?

465
00:18:12.091 --> 00:18:13.570
Worse. Brother.

466
00:18:13.570 --> 00:18:15.094
Hey!

467
00:18:17.052 --> 00:18:20.011
<i>While I'd made
progress with Ellie's parents,</i>

468
00:18:20.011 --> 00:18:23.145
<i>I'd yet to make any
with the older brother.</i>

469
00:18:23.145 --> 00:18:26.192
<i>His name was
William Love Collins XIII.</i>

470
00:18:26.192 --> 00:18:28.672
<i>So, everybody called
this guy "Lucky."</i>

471
00:18:28.672 --> 00:18:30.196
<i>And that's exactly</i>

472
00:18:30.196 --> 00:18:31.458
<i>what he was.</i>
Chug, chug, chug,

473
00:18:31.458 --> 00:18:32.633
Whoo!

474
00:18:32.633 --> 00:18:34.069
Oh, my God!

475
00:18:34.069 --> 00:18:35.679
<i>After graduating
from Princeton,</i>

476
00:18:35.679 --> 00:18:38.117
<i>back when you could
bribe your kid into college,</i>

477
00:18:38.117 --> 00:18:40.510
<i>Lucky was on deck
to take over the Hotel Group</i>

478
00:18:40.510 --> 00:18:42.773
<i>while working
as a "Client Liaison."</i>

479
00:18:42.773 --> 00:18:46.255
Gentlemen! Who's ready to go
hunt some endangered species?

480
00:18:46.255 --> 00:18:47.952
I'm just kidding.
Unless you guys
are down,

481
00:18:47.952 --> 00:18:49.519
I can figure
something out.

482
00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:51.086
<i>This meant
traveling around the world,</i>

483
00:18:51.086 --> 00:18:52.827
<i>entertaining wealthy clients</i>

484
00:18:52.827 --> 00:18:54.220
<i>with all the rich kid hobbies</i>

485
00:18:54.220 --> 00:18:56.352
<i>he had time to master.</i>
Whoo!

486
00:18:56.352 --> 00:18:57.484
<i>We're talking skiing...</i>

487
00:18:57.484 --> 00:19:00.139
Whoo! Snowboarding sucks!

488
00:19:00.139 --> 00:19:02.358
...y <i>achting.</i>

489
00:19:02.358 --> 00:19:04.578
<i>...all the country club sports.</i>

490
00:19:04.578 --> 00:19:07.146
Whoo! Looks like
I gotta change
my shoes,

491
00:19:07.146 --> 00:19:09.670
'cause I'm on
the dance floor. What!

492
00:19:11.628 --> 00:19:14.283
<i>But I'd say
his overall best skill</i>

493
00:19:14.283 --> 00:19:16.416
<i>was being a prick.</i>

494
00:19:16.416 --> 00:19:17.895
<i>There he is.</i>

495
00:19:17.895 --> 00:19:19.506
I see you're still
banging the bellboy.

496
00:19:19.506 --> 00:19:21.029
Luck! No!
Hey!

497
00:19:21.029 --> 00:19:22.683
I'm only joking,
Sea Bass.

498
00:19:23.988 --> 00:19:25.773
Hey, what's up,
Luck?[IN ENGLISH] Not much.

499
00:19:25.773 --> 00:19:27.166
You must be
Sebastian's brother.

500
00:19:27.166 --> 00:19:28.993
Hey. No, I'm
his father. Salvo.
How are you?

501
00:19:28.993 --> 00:19:30.517
No way! Seriously?

502
00:19:30.517 --> 00:19:32.083
That's crazy.
I can't tell the age

503
00:19:32.083 --> 00:19:33.476
of anybody over 40.

504
00:19:33.476 --> 00:19:35.783
Anyway. Oh, let me

505
00:19:35.783 --> 00:19:37.915
goose you guys
some free samps.

506
00:19:37.915 --> 00:19:39.134
I'm an angel investor

507
00:19:39.134 --> 00:19:41.876
in this new anti-aging
skin cream for men

508
00:19:41.876 --> 00:19:43.660
and I'm obvi a client.

509
00:19:43.660 --> 00:19:45.662
This guy.

510
00:19:45.662 --> 00:19:46.750
You boys ready to saddle up?

511
00:19:46.750 --> 00:19:48.143
Let's go!

512
00:19:48.143 --> 00:19:50.232
Oh, chopper time!

513
00:19:50.232 --> 00:19:52.234
El... El, I don't
think this is such
a good idea.

514
00:19:52.234 --> 00:19:53.714
Yeah, we got
a free car,
you know.

515
00:19:53.714 --> 00:19:55.498
Guys, come on!

516
00:19:55.498 --> 00:19:58.371
Trust me, the helicopter
takes 20 minutes,

517
00:19:58.371 --> 00:20:01.330
and the views
are magical.

518
00:20:01.330 --> 00:20:03.027
Are you with me?

519
00:20:03.027 --> 00:20:06.030
Come on! Let's
have some fun!

520
00:20:06.030 --> 00:20:08.207
[ON RADIO] <i>Lucky,
you are cleared for takeoff.</i>

521
00:20:08.207 --> 00:20:09.904
Roger that, Roger.

522
00:20:09.904 --> 00:20:11.688
Dude's name is Roger. We hang.

523
00:20:11.688 --> 00:20:13.255
Got a super-hot wife.

524
00:20:15.997 --> 00:20:17.172
Hey, if you guys
look out to your left,

525
00:20:17.172 --> 00:20:19.479
you'll see the beautiful
Roanoke River.

526
00:20:20.131 --> 00:20:21.176
Baby, look.

527
00:20:23.222 --> 00:20:24.266
Salvo, it's nice, right?

528
00:20:24.266 --> 00:20:25.746
Yeah. Yeah,
yeah, it's nice.

529
00:20:25.746 --> 00:20:26.964
Reminds me of 'Nam.

530
00:20:33.928 --> 00:20:35.930
- Huh?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
It's good.

531
00:20:35.930 --> 00:20:37.410
- Okay. Okay.
- I'm fine.

532
00:20:39.368 --> 00:20:40.848
- Oh, yeah.
- Sorry. Sorry.

533
00:20:40.848 --> 00:20:42.066
I got it. I got it.

534
00:20:43.416 --> 00:20:45.766
Had a couple
too many G and Ts.

535
00:20:45.766 --> 00:20:47.420
- He's kidding. He's kidding.
Yeah, yeah.

536
00:20:49.030 --> 00:20:50.858
- The air don't work.
No, it does.

537
00:20:50.858 --> 00:20:52.642
It works, it works.

538
00:20:52.642 --> 00:20:54.644
It's okay.
Only a couple of minutes.

539
00:20:54.644 --> 00:20:56.733
It's just
- a little warm, Dad.
- Son, it's...

540
00:20:56.733 --> 00:20:58.692
I think we got a problem here.

541
00:20:58.692 --> 00:21:00.041
- What?
- We got
a problem here.

542
00:21:00.041 --> 00:21:01.608
Oh, my God! Baby!

543
00:21:01.608 --> 00:21:02.957
- Yeah, I can't breathe.
- Wait, wait, wait.

544
00:21:02.957 --> 00:21:04.611
Take a bite out of the lemon.

545
00:21:04.611 --> 00:21:05.829
It'll help with
the nausea.
I'm not doing a whole lemon.

546
00:21:05.829 --> 00:21:06.917
I'll cut it.
I'll cut it.
Don't worry.

547
00:21:06.917 --> 00:21:08.136
Hey.

548
00:21:08.136 --> 00:21:09.311
I'll cut it
into pieces.
Hold on.

549
00:21:09.311 --> 00:21:10.834
I got a knife.

550
00:21:10.834 --> 00:21:12.140
He's got a knife.
Oh, my God.

551
00:21:12.140 --> 00:21:13.663
- He's got a knife.
- I'm cutting the lemon.

552
00:21:13.663 --> 00:21:15.578
Okay, here.
Take it. Take it.
Baby, suck it.

553
00:21:15.578 --> 00:21:18.059
- Suck on that.
Suck on
that lemon. Suck.

554
00:21:18.059 --> 00:21:20.279
Just suck!
Suck, suck, suck!

555
00:21:20.279 --> 00:21:22.237
Sounds like
- my Saturday night.
Suck!

556
00:21:22.237 --> 00:21:24.065
Dude.
Do not vom in my bird.

557
00:21:24.065 --> 00:21:25.196
He's not gonna vom
in your bird.

558
00:21:25.196 --> 00:21:26.720
Just breathe
in through the nose,

559
00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:28.025
- out through the mouth.
Suck on that.

560
00:21:28.025 --> 00:21:30.245
- It's making it worse.
- Suck it!

561
00:21:30.245 --> 00:21:31.377
Cradle the balls.
Suck on that!

562
00:21:31.377 --> 00:21:32.639
You just suck!
Just suck it.

563
00:21:32.639 --> 00:21:35.119
- Suck the lemon!
Take it easy, kid.

564
00:21:35.119 --> 00:21:36.730
I think we should
turn around.
He's freaking out.

565
00:21:36.730 --> 00:21:37.992
It's like 19 more minutes.

566
00:21:37.992 --> 00:21:39.689
You can't tough
it out for 19...It stinks!

567
00:21:39.689 --> 00:21:41.909
Let's bring it down.
Let's bring it... Open up the windows!

568
00:21:41.909 --> 00:21:43.389
I'm gonna die!

569
00:21:43.389 --> 00:21:44.477
Put the air conditioning
- down there.
- Bring it down.

570
00:21:44.477 --> 00:21:45.826
- How are you so calm?
Roger,

571
00:21:45.826 --> 00:21:47.654
- we're coming back.
- I'm dying!
Put it down!

572
00:21:47.654 --> 00:21:49.525
Put it down! Ah!

573
00:21:56.619 --> 00:21:59.187
I knew I should've
forced him
to join the army.

574
00:21:59.187 --> 00:22:01.668
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Laugh it up.

575
00:22:01.668 --> 00:22:02.756
Laugh it up, guys.

576
00:22:02.756 --> 00:22:04.801
I'm just happy
I'm on the ground.

577
00:22:07.064 --> 00:22:10.329
Okay, gentlemen.
Welcome to White Oak.

578
00:22:11.678 --> 00:22:13.244
- Wow!
- Right?

579
00:22:13.244 --> 00:22:14.420
Ah, boy.

580
00:22:14.420 --> 00:22:16.944
Um, okay, so, that's
the golf course,

581
00:22:16.944 --> 00:22:21.340
and then
the tennis courts are
back down there.

582
00:22:21.340 --> 00:22:24.168
Oh, baby, look. Right there?
That's my childhood fort.

583
00:22:24.168 --> 00:22:25.561
Oh.
We'd go there.

584
00:22:25.561 --> 00:22:26.562
whenever I needed
to get away from my family.

585
00:22:26.562 --> 00:22:28.347
So, basically, all the time.

586
00:22:28.347 --> 00:22:29.826
Yeah, I wish
I had one.

587
00:22:29.826 --> 00:22:32.786
Oh, look!

588
00:22:32.786 --> 00:22:36.790
Oh, my God! It's
Sergeant Feathers
and his family!

589
00:22:36.790 --> 00:22:38.835
What is this?
- Oh, my God!

590
00:22:38.835 --> 00:22:40.707
What are you doing?

591
00:22:40.707 --> 00:22:42.273
-  What up, dudes?
What are you...
Is this safe?

592
00:22:42.273 --> 00:22:43.623
Yeah, no, she's crazy.

593
00:22:43.623 --> 00:22:46.060
What's that? What are
you doing? Be careful.

594
00:22:46.060 --> 00:22:47.409
Get back in the car!

595
00:22:47.409 --> 00:22:49.368
They're gonna eat you alive!

596
00:22:49.368 --> 00:22:50.586
- Oh, my God!
- Aren't they
the best?

597
00:22:50.586 --> 00:22:51.674
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

598
00:22:51.674 --> 00:22:53.241
They're
so beautiful!

599
00:22:53.241 --> 00:22:54.982
So how much
a peacock cost anyway?

600
00:22:54.982 --> 00:22:56.505
Don't answer that, El.

601
00:22:56.505 --> 00:22:58.638
I didn't know they had
peacocks in Virginia.

602
00:22:58.638 --> 00:23:01.815
Oh, well,
my grandfather brought
two here decades ago,

603
00:23:01.815 --> 00:23:03.207
but they didn't
like their cages,

604
00:23:03.207 --> 00:23:04.731
so he decided
to let them roam free.

605
00:23:04.731 --> 00:23:06.080
And now, they've
pretty much just become

606
00:23:06.080 --> 00:23:08.038
the official mascots
of our club.

607
00:23:08.038 --> 00:23:09.736
Well, they're bad luck
where I come from.

608
00:23:09.736 --> 00:23:11.651
They're just a bunch
of goddamn showoffs,

609
00:23:11.651 --> 00:23:13.609
if you ask me.
I don't like them.

610
00:23:13.609 --> 00:23:14.828
They're lucky
to be born that way.

611
00:23:14.828 --> 00:23:15.872
They could've been
born like a chicken,

612
00:23:15.872 --> 00:23:17.091
or a pigeon.

613
00:23:17.091 --> 00:23:18.701
I mean, it just has
fancy feathers,

614
00:23:18.701 --> 00:23:20.573
so all of a sudden,
it gets more respect.

615
00:23:20.573 --> 00:23:23.706
Okay, guys.

616
00:23:23.706 --> 00:23:25.752
We're here.
Welcome to our house.

617
00:23:27.493 --> 00:23:30.931
Look at this!
Are you kidding me?

618
00:23:30.931 --> 00:23:32.280
How much
a house like this cost?

619
00:23:32.280 --> 00:23:34.848
Enough
with the <i>Price is Right!</i>

620
00:23:34.848 --> 00:23:36.937
He's the Bob Barker
of the backseat.

621
00:23:38.504 --> 00:23:41.202
Oh, my little
cuddle monkey!
Hey! Hi!

622
00:23:41.202 --> 00:23:42.595
Hi.

623
00:23:42.595 --> 00:23:44.597
- Oh, my girl.
Oh!

624
00:23:44.597 --> 00:23:46.642
- Oh, what a beauty!
- Ellie-Bellie!

625
00:23:46.642 --> 00:23:48.383
<i>You know,
looking back at this,</i>

626
00:23:48.383 --> 00:23:50.429
<i>my dad had to be overwhelmed.</i>

627
00:23:50.429 --> 00:23:52.039
Family's a little
handsy, huh?

628
00:23:52.039 --> 00:23:54.215
It's called
love and
affection, Dad.

629
00:23:54.215 --> 00:23:55.956
Unlike you,
when you met me
in the delivery room

630
00:23:55.956 --> 00:23:57.392
and chose
to shake
my hand.

631
00:23:57.392 --> 00:23:59.438
What else was I
supposed to do?
We just met.

632
00:23:59.438 --> 00:24:01.309
Huh?

633
00:24:01.309 --> 00:24:02.397
Guys,
come on. I want
you to meet

634
00:24:02.397 --> 00:24:04.051
Sebastian's father.

635
00:24:04.051 --> 00:24:05.182
- Hey, Sebastian.
- Hi.

636
00:24:05.182 --> 00:24:06.575
Nice to see you.

637
00:24:06.575 --> 00:24:07.663
- Pleasure. Welcome.
Nice
to meet you.

638
00:24:07.663 --> 00:24:09.056
Sebastian,
so good
to see you.

639
00:24:10.318 --> 00:24:14.061
And you must be
the charming Salvo.

640
00:24:14.061 --> 00:24:16.759
So nice to
finally meet you
in person, Tigger.

641
00:24:16.759 --> 00:24:18.282
It's just last week
I was checking out

642
00:24:18.282 --> 00:24:20.197
your highlights
on TV.

643
00:24:20.197 --> 00:24:22.373
Oh, the CNN
or the Fox ones?

644
00:24:22.373 --> 00:24:23.810
No, no,
the blonde ones.

645
00:24:23.810 --> 00:24:25.376
You hair,
if I can say, is

646
00:24:25.376 --> 00:24:26.726
just like
a block
of marble.

647
00:24:26.726 --> 00:24:28.379
I wanna sink
my tools into it.

648
00:24:28.379 --> 00:24:29.903
Dad, Dad,
Dad, what are
you doing?

649
00:24:29.903 --> 00:24:31.426
Sorry, I mean, it's... You're gonna hit her.

650
00:24:31.426 --> 00:24:33.515
Well, Salvo, we've
heard you're quite
the stylist.

651
00:24:33.515 --> 00:24:34.777
Now, tell me this,

652
00:24:34.777 --> 00:24:36.170
do you think
I'm too old
to pull off

653
00:24:36.170 --> 00:24:37.345
a set of
frosted tips?

654
00:24:41.044 --> 00:24:42.437
"Frosted tips?"

655
00:24:42.437 --> 00:24:44.744
Good one, sir! Solid gold!

656
00:24:44.744 --> 00:24:46.223
All right,
I'm gonna
hit the links.

657
00:24:46.223 --> 00:24:47.442
Have fun!
<i>Hasta luego!</i>

658
00:24:47.442 --> 00:24:49.488
So, uh, why
don't you
come inside,

659
00:24:49.488 --> 00:24:51.141
and we'll
give you
the grand tour.

660
00:24:51.141 --> 00:24:52.621
Don't worry
about the bags.

661
00:24:52.621 --> 00:24:54.493
Wendell will
take care
of them.

662
00:24:54.493 --> 00:24:55.798
Mommy...

663
00:24:55.798 --> 00:24:57.104
That's
a pretty big dog
you got there.

664
00:24:57.104 --> 00:24:59.062
Oh, that's Duke.

665
00:24:59.062 --> 00:25:00.324
We don't get too rough
with him, 'cause we're
afraid he'll kill us.

666
00:25:00.324 --> 00:25:01.891
He's so big!

667
00:25:01.891 --> 00:25:03.110
Dad!
This is our house.

668
00:25:03.110 --> 00:25:04.503
Wow!
Yes.

669
00:25:04.503 --> 00:25:05.939
It's unbelievable.
It's so big.

670
00:25:05.939 --> 00:25:07.288
Oh, this is

671
00:25:07.288 --> 00:25:10.247
our youngest son, Doug.

672
00:25:10.247 --> 00:25:11.510
He's practicing... ELLIE: Hi!

673
00:25:11.510 --> 00:25:13.250
...his sound bowls.

674
00:25:13.250 --> 00:25:15.339
Oh, yeah... Sound bowls?
What is that?

675
00:25:15.339 --> 00:25:17.167
Oh, well, now,
a sound bowl is...

676
00:25:17.167 --> 00:25:18.604
It's, actually,
it's an instrument.

677
00:25:18.604 --> 00:25:20.910
It puts out
this vibration

678
00:25:20.910 --> 00:25:23.739
that relieves stress
and promotes relaxation.

679
00:25:23.739 --> 00:25:26.176
He's...
he's learning
to be a healer.

680
00:25:27.613 --> 00:25:29.615
Uh, but we're
just so proud
of him.

681
00:25:29.615 --> 00:25:30.964
You're so loud, Dad.

682
00:25:30.964 --> 00:25:32.487
- Oh, sorry.
- Oh, sorry, sorry.

683
00:25:32.487 --> 00:25:34.794
Let me just...
Sorry. No, I'm
gonna close the...

684
00:25:34.794 --> 00:25:36.143
Play, boy, play.

685
00:25:36.143 --> 00:25:39.015
Play to soothe
the savage beast.

686
00:25:39.015 --> 00:25:40.713
Well, you don't have
to shut 'em.

687
00:25:42.062 --> 00:25:44.891
Wow! This house
is amazing!

688
00:25:44.891 --> 00:25:46.719
- Look at this!
This is nothing.

689
00:25:46.719 --> 00:25:48.242
You should see
the place in Aspen.

690
00:25:48.242 --> 00:25:50.897
Well, it's just,
you know...

691
00:25:50.897 --> 00:25:53.769
- Yeah.
- I love this
cocktail table.

692
00:25:53.769 --> 00:25:56.293
Oh, Sebastian!

693
00:25:56.293 --> 00:25:58.339
Good eye!

694
00:25:58.339 --> 00:26:01.690
The first
commercial coal mine
in the country was

695
00:26:01.690 --> 00:26:02.996
right down
the road
from here,

696
00:26:02.996 --> 00:26:05.999
and this piece is
made out
of the wood

697
00:26:05.999 --> 00:26:08.654
from one
of the original
mine cars.

698
00:26:08.654 --> 00:26:11.395
Drenched
- in history.
- Drenched.

699
00:26:11.395 --> 00:26:13.136
Good for you,
re-using old wood
like that.

700
00:26:13.136 --> 00:26:14.660
Yes.
- This guy always
gets on me

701
00:26:14.660 --> 00:26:16.400
about picking up
trash and putting
it in the house.

702
00:26:16.400 --> 00:26:18.098
Trash?

703
00:26:18.098 --> 00:26:19.665
It's crazy, the stuff
that people throw
away these days.

704
00:26:19.665 --> 00:26:21.405
It sure beats
paying for it,
I mean, right?

705
00:26:21.405 --> 00:26:23.538
- So, I... I take it.
- Right.

706
00:26:23.538 --> 00:26:25.975
Yes. Yes.
That is

707
00:26:25.975 --> 00:26:27.542
- so true.
- Yeah.

708
00:26:27.542 --> 00:26:30.284
Um, actually,
though, we did
pay for this one.

709
00:26:30.284 --> 00:26:32.373
A king's ransom,

710
00:26:32.373 --> 00:26:35.332
if I must say,
but at least
it's too rickety

711
00:26:35.332 --> 00:26:37.030
to put drinks on.

712
00:26:37.030 --> 00:26:38.553
Dad, that's
the worst.

713
00:26:38.553 --> 00:26:41.295
No, no, we just,
we wanted something

714
00:26:41.295 --> 00:26:44.037
that matched
the art
in the room.

715
00:26:44.037 --> 00:26:45.255
Oh, good for you,

716
00:26:45.255 --> 00:26:47.301
hanging up
your kids'
art work like that.

717
00:26:47.301 --> 00:26:53.263
No, these are
original Grandma Moseses.

718
00:26:53.263 --> 00:26:54.395
Can you
believe it?
I'm... I'm sorry.

719
00:26:54.395 --> 00:26:55.744
We
found them...
I'm sorry.

720
00:26:55.744 --> 00:26:57.703
What?
- I'm sorry.
I mean, I...

721
00:26:57.703 --> 00:26:59.313
I didn't mean
to insult your grandmother.

722
00:26:59.313 --> 00:27:01.576
I meant
no disrespect.
I had no idea.

723
00:27:01.576 --> 00:27:03.056
I mean, what was
the matter with her?

724
00:27:03.056 --> 00:27:04.884
Was she a little...

725
00:27:04.884 --> 00:27:05.972
Oh, my God.

726
00:27:05.972 --> 00:27:07.538
Hey, who's hungry
for lunch?

727
00:27:07.538 --> 00:27:09.062
- I am.
Me, me, me!

728
00:27:09.062 --> 00:27:10.846
We could all go
down to The Shack.

729
00:27:10.846 --> 00:27:12.587
Oh, Salvo,
- you're gonna love The Shack!
- What a great idea!

730
00:27:25.469 --> 00:27:26.557
It's me.

731
00:27:28.734 --> 00:27:31.127
Wow, this club
is huge, Bill.

732
00:27:31.127 --> 00:27:32.389
The way
you were
describing it,

733
00:27:32.389 --> 00:27:34.435
I expected
a place where
they're serving

734
00:27:34.435 --> 00:27:36.524
grilled cheese
out of a little
window, you know.

735
00:27:36.524 --> 00:27:39.483
Yes, I suppose
they've fixed it up
over the years.

736
00:27:39.483 --> 00:27:41.572
But to us
it will
always be...

737
00:27:41.572 --> 00:27:43.270
The Shack.

738
00:27:43.270 --> 00:27:45.185
This place was
built by slaves.

739
00:27:45.185 --> 00:27:46.708
Douglass.

740
00:27:46.708 --> 00:27:49.015
What, I'm not allowed
to tell the truth now?

741
00:27:49.015 --> 00:27:50.712
How are we supposed
to confront our problems

742
00:27:50.712 --> 00:27:52.888
if we don't
talk about it, Dad?

743
00:27:52.888 --> 00:27:54.498
No, it's true.
It's true.

744
00:27:54.498 --> 00:27:57.197
The... Some
of the history
down here is

745
00:27:57.197 --> 00:27:58.372
just...
it's brutal.

746
00:27:58.372 --> 00:28:00.591
- Mmm.
- It's just unthinkable.

747
00:28:02.724 --> 00:28:04.421
It's not on the menu,
but you can order

748
00:28:04.421 --> 00:28:06.423
the club sandwich
with lobster.

749
00:28:06.423 --> 00:28:08.295
You know, I can't
even bring
my girlfriend here

750
00:28:08.295 --> 00:28:09.557
because
I'm ashamed.

751
00:28:11.298 --> 00:28:12.821
She's
an African person.

752
00:28:12.821 --> 00:28:16.477
She is a person
emailing you from Africa,

753
00:28:16.477 --> 00:28:18.958
and to whom
you are sending
back money.

754
00:28:18.958 --> 00:28:20.394
We have
yet to confirm

755
00:28:20.394 --> 00:28:22.875
whether she's
a girl or a friend.

756
00:28:22.875 --> 00:28:24.920
Keep me safe
from negative energy.

757
00:28:24.920 --> 00:28:27.009
Hi, everyone. Welcome
to White Oak.

758
00:28:27.009 --> 00:28:29.925
What can
- I get you guys?
- Oh, no bread, please.

759
00:28:29.925 --> 00:28:32.928
Um, do you have
those crackers?
The seedy ones?

760
00:28:32.928 --> 00:28:35.409
- Of course.
- Gloria, do you
have kombucha?

761
00:28:35.409 --> 00:28:38.020
- I can check.
- Does anyone
want in on this?

762
00:28:38.020 --> 00:28:39.935
Ever since I've
had kombucha,

763
00:28:39.935 --> 00:28:42.895
my BMs have been
- ...completely regular.
Oh. All right.

764
00:28:42.895 --> 00:28:45.288
- I've had no problems.
- All right.
Remember, Douglass,

765
00:28:45.288 --> 00:28:47.813
we don't talk about
- our BMs at the table.
- No.

766
00:28:47.813 --> 00:28:49.597
Before I was
drinking kombucha,

767
00:28:50.206 --> 00:28:51.947
my feces looked like

768
00:28:51.947 --> 00:28:53.993
ripped,
little pieces
of paper

769
00:28:53.993 --> 00:28:55.603
and then after
I started drinking,

770
00:28:55.603 --> 00:28:57.431
they're long,
soft logs.

771
00:28:57.431 --> 00:29:00.390
Well, all right.
Thank you for that.

772
00:29:00.390 --> 00:29:02.175
Um, do you know
what you want,
Sebastian?

773
00:29:02.175 --> 00:29:04.438
Just a...

774
00:29:04.438 --> 00:29:06.745
- the Cobb salad.
Good choice.

775
00:29:06.745 --> 00:29:08.485
What are you, one
of my sorority sisters?

776
00:29:08.485 --> 00:29:10.749
Is that all
you're gonna get?

777
00:29:10.749 --> 00:29:12.272
You're not
gonna get
a starter?

778
00:29:12.272 --> 00:29:14.100
Yeah, uh,
I'm just gonna

779
00:29:14.100 --> 00:29:15.405
stick with the middle
of the menu.

780
00:29:15.405 --> 00:29:17.190
All right,
suit yourself.

781
00:29:17.190 --> 00:29:18.626
Salvo, what are
you gonna get?

782
00:29:18.626 --> 00:29:20.846
Gloria, I think
I'm gonna have the...

783
00:29:20.846 --> 00:29:22.935
the BLT with
the onion rings.

784
00:29:22.935 --> 00:29:24.980
But what's
the price
on that dish?

785
00:29:25.633 --> 00:29:26.852
Oh, no, we don't...

786
00:29:26.852 --> 00:29:31.160
Salvo, this may
sound very silly

787
00:29:31.160 --> 00:29:33.162
but we don't
like to put
prices on things,

788
00:29:33.162 --> 00:29:37.906
because it's just
an annoying reminder
of money. Right?

789
00:29:37.906 --> 00:29:39.690
Oh!

790
00:29:39.690 --> 00:29:41.431
So, everything's
for free, you mean?

791
00:29:41.431 --> 00:29:44.260
No. No, it is
not free.

792
00:29:44.260 --> 00:29:45.696
I wish it were.

793
00:29:45.696 --> 00:29:47.350
Nothing is free.

794
00:29:47.350 --> 00:29:49.570
So, what do they do?
I mean, they make up
a price, or...

795
00:29:49.570 --> 00:29:51.267
Oh, Dad, it's...
you know...

796
00:29:51.267 --> 00:29:52.529
Son, I'm talking
to Bill, here.

797
00:29:52.529 --> 00:29:53.792
Are you Bill?
Hello, Bill.

798
00:29:53.792 --> 00:29:55.228
It's fine.

799
00:29:55.228 --> 00:29:57.056
Everything has
- a set price.
- Mmm.

800
00:29:57.056 --> 00:29:59.449
And then they just
tally it up at the
end of the week,

801
00:29:59.449 --> 00:30:01.712
put it on my bill,
and it's
taken care of.

802
00:30:01.712 --> 00:30:03.236
Got it.
Okay, got it.

803
00:30:03.236 --> 00:30:04.759
Well, Gloria,
I would just
love to chat

804
00:30:04.759 --> 00:30:06.282
with somebody
who knows
the prices.

805
00:30:06.282 --> 00:30:07.675
Salvo, please.

806
00:30:07.675 --> 00:30:10.156
Please. It would
be our pleasure
to treat you.

807
00:30:10.156 --> 00:30:11.984
I would love that
and thank you, Tigger.

808
00:30:11.984 --> 00:30:14.638
But I think you do
way, way, way
too much, already.

809
00:30:14.638 --> 00:30:16.640
You're putting us
up in your home,

810
00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:19.078
that's enough already.
We want to at least,
you know, pay for the meal.

811
00:30:19.078 --> 00:30:20.775
- It's not a big deal.
- I know it's not
a big deal.

812
00:30:20.775 --> 00:30:22.124
Don't make
a big deal out
of it. It's all right.

813
00:30:22.124 --> 00:30:23.604
Don't worry
about it.
It's okay.

814
00:30:23.604 --> 00:30:25.736
So, Gloria,
just do me
a favor,

815
00:30:25.736 --> 00:30:27.216
find out how much
it is for the BLT.

816
00:30:27.216 --> 00:30:29.653
What did
you get again?
Just the Cobb salad.

817
00:30:29.653 --> 00:30:31.090
- Cobb salad.
Please. Please,

818
00:30:31.090 --> 00:30:32.569
No, we'll take
care of it.
Just let us pay.

819
00:30:32.569 --> 00:30:33.962
It will be
so much easier...
Just let them pay.

820
00:30:33.962 --> 00:30:35.703
...if you just
let them pay.
I can't let you.

821
00:30:35.703 --> 00:30:38.358
- ...taken care of it.
- Dad, let them pay.

822
00:30:38.358 --> 00:30:40.055
- Please let them pay.
- Just let us pay.

823
00:30:40.055 --> 00:30:41.970
- I can't let you pay.
It's so easy.

824
00:30:46.627 --> 00:30:48.759
I don't know
what you're
so upset about.

825
00:30:48.759 --> 00:30:50.805
I mean, I'm
a working guy.

826
00:30:50.805 --> 00:30:52.067
I like to pay
my own way.

827
00:30:52.067 --> 00:30:53.416
I don't want
to owe anybody anything.

828
00:30:53.416 --> 00:30:55.027
I'm upset because
you're supposed

829
00:30:55.027 --> 00:30:56.680
to be getting
to know Ellie's family.

830
00:30:56.680 --> 00:30:58.552
And instead,
you made a big scene.

831
00:30:58.552 --> 00:31:00.597
So what? Who cares?
These people are strange.

832
00:31:00.597 --> 00:31:01.903
Yeah, you think
they are.

833
00:31:01.903 --> 00:31:03.905
They are strange.
Are you kidding me?

834
00:31:03.905 --> 00:31:05.820
They wanna take
a break from thinking
about money.

835
00:31:05.820 --> 00:31:07.300
Where I come from,
that's called dying.

836
00:31:07.300 --> 00:31:08.997
All right, that's...

837
00:31:08.997 --> 00:31:11.260
It's a different life.

838
00:31:11.260 --> 00:31:12.566
But you still
gotta try.

839
00:31:13.175 --> 00:31:14.524
Try...

840
00:31:14.524 --> 00:31:16.091
I just don't
know, Sebastian,
I got to tell you.

841
00:31:16.091 --> 00:31:18.006
I don't know
how you're
gonna fit in.

842
00:31:18.006 --> 00:31:19.703
It ain't normal. I mean,
your mother and me,

843
00:31:19.703 --> 00:31:21.314
we didn't
raise you
this way, so...

844
00:31:21.314 --> 00:31:23.272
Yeah, you raised me
to marry an Italian

845
00:31:23.272 --> 00:31:24.926
who shouts
when she's happy,

846
00:31:24.926 --> 00:31:26.449
and grows hair
in places I didn't
even know could grow.

847
00:31:26.449 --> 00:31:28.060
So what? That's
a real woman.

848
00:31:28.060 --> 00:31:29.583
Your mother was a real woman,

849
00:31:29.583 --> 00:31:31.280
who put real food
on the table,

850
00:31:31.280 --> 00:31:33.979
not somebody
who refuses
a bread basket.

851
00:31:33.979 --> 00:31:35.415
All right, Dad,
even I have to admit

852
00:31:35.415 --> 00:31:37.721
- the crackers were awful.
- It's like
eating birdseed.

853
00:31:37.721 --> 00:31:39.375
Yeah. I didn't know
whether to eat 'em
with my hands

854
00:31:39.375 --> 00:31:40.594
or just walk
around and...

855
00:31:44.250 --> 00:31:46.121
Exactly, and you notice
how they try to downplay

856
00:31:46.121 --> 00:31:47.427
how fancy it is?

857
00:31:47.427 --> 00:31:48.602
Oh, yeah."Excuse me?

858
00:31:48.602 --> 00:31:50.038
"I'm looking at this.

859
00:31:50.038 --> 00:31:52.258
"Excuse me.
I got eyes.
I can see. Hello."

860
00:31:52.258 --> 00:31:53.781
They walk around,
saying, "Oh, yes.

861
00:31:53.781 --> 00:31:56.131
"The house is
60,000 square feet,

862
00:31:56.131 --> 00:31:57.524
"with 13 bedrooms,

863
00:31:57.524 --> 00:31:59.918
"but we like it
because it's cozy."

864
00:31:59.918 --> 00:32:01.832
And then they do
the opposite
with the furniture.

865
00:32:01.832 --> 00:32:03.269
They make it sound
more important

866
00:32:03.269 --> 00:32:04.574
than it really is.

867
00:32:04.574 --> 00:32:06.446
It can't just be
like a regular chair.

868
00:32:06.446 --> 00:32:08.143
It's got to have like
a whole back story.

869
00:32:08.143 --> 00:32:09.362
- Oh, yeah.
- I mean, what...

870
00:32:09.362 --> 00:32:11.538
"This is the chair
Thomas Jefferson sat in

871
00:32:11.538 --> 00:32:13.844
"when he signed
the treaty of
Who-the-Hell-Cares?"

872
00:32:13.844 --> 00:32:16.456
"Well, the toilet is where
Abe Lincoln took a dump.

873
00:32:16.456 --> 00:32:17.979
"There's a plaque
right there."

874
00:32:17.979 --> 00:32:20.503
"Oh, do they got a place
for his hat in there, too?"

875
00:32:20.503 --> 00:32:21.852
I mean, I don't know
if I'm in a house

876
00:32:21.852 --> 00:32:23.158
or I'm in a museum.

877
00:32:24.290 --> 00:32:26.727
So, tell us,
what's new
in Chicago?

878
00:32:26.727 --> 00:32:28.511
How's the art?

879
00:32:28.511 --> 00:32:31.079
Well, it's, um... Yes?

880
00:32:31.079 --> 00:32:32.689
- It's great.
- Yes.

881
00:32:32.689 --> 00:32:34.561
All my pieces
from my last show

882
00:32:34.561 --> 00:32:36.955
sold out at the opening.
I mean...

883
00:32:36.955 --> 00:32:38.957
Well, that's
something...
That's amazing!

884
00:32:38.957 --> 00:32:40.393
- ...to crow about.
- Yeah, right?

885
00:32:40.393 --> 00:32:43.222
So, now that
you're getting
all these contacts,

886
00:32:43.222 --> 00:32:46.051
you could probably
work from anywhere.

887
00:32:46.051 --> 00:32:49.793
- Mom, stop, no.
- Right, sweetie?
Right?

888
00:32:49.793 --> 00:32:51.578
Sebastian and I
love living
in Chicago.

889
00:32:51.578 --> 00:32:53.058
Oh.

890
00:32:53.058 --> 00:32:55.712
But we miss
having you
there in D.C.

891
00:32:55.712 --> 00:32:57.932
We really do.
- We really do.
- We do.

892
00:32:57.932 --> 00:32:59.238
These cheeks
aren't as fun

893
00:32:59.238 --> 00:33:00.630
to kiss
on FaceTime.

894
00:33:00.630 --> 00:33:01.892
Oh, my God.
I want a cheek, too.

895
00:33:01.892 --> 00:33:03.329
Where's my cheek?
Where's my cheek?

896
00:33:03.329 --> 00:33:06.636
Excuse me. Excuse me.

897
00:33:06.636 --> 00:33:08.116
You guys aren't supposed
to be talking

898
00:33:08.116 --> 00:33:09.378
- during a sound bath.
- Oh, God.

899
00:33:09.378 --> 00:33:11.206
Oh, of course.
Sorry. Sorry, Dougie.

900
00:33:11.206 --> 00:33:12.468
No. No, this is... Sorry, sorry, sorry.

901
00:33:12.468 --> 00:33:13.992
This is wonderful.

902
00:33:13.992 --> 00:33:16.907
Please keep
bathing us
in sound.

903
00:33:16.907 --> 00:33:19.084
- Yes.
- Go, with
your... Yeah.

904
00:33:19.084 --> 00:33:22.174
Dad, listen. We're here
because I wanna marry Ellie.

905
00:33:22.174 --> 00:33:24.393
So, it don't matter
how it works
with these people.

906
00:33:24.393 --> 00:33:25.829
It works with her.

907
00:33:25.829 --> 00:33:27.744
So, come on.
Tomorrow, please,

908
00:33:27.744 --> 00:33:29.746
can you give
these people
a chance?

909
00:33:29.746 --> 00:33:32.836
Got it. Got it.
No problem, no problem.

910
00:33:32.836 --> 00:33:34.969
Because at the end
of the day, son,
it's your life.

911
00:33:36.579 --> 00:33:37.972
- Night cologne?
- Yep.

912
00:33:46.285 --> 00:33:48.417
Look at this.
Pink sheets?

913
00:33:48.417 --> 00:33:49.462
What?

914
00:33:51.029 --> 00:33:52.595
Well, we're
in a dollhouse.

915
00:33:56.164 --> 00:33:58.514
Mom, Dad,
I would love

916
00:33:58.514 --> 00:34:00.386
to live closer,
you know that.

917
00:34:00.386 --> 00:34:02.518
- And?
- But...

918
00:34:02.518 --> 00:34:04.868
Sebastian has
his dad,

919
00:34:04.868 --> 00:34:06.870
- and a great job.
- Yeah, working

920
00:34:06.870 --> 00:34:08.394
for the damn Hiltons.

921
00:34:08.394 --> 00:34:09.830
- The Hiltons.
- Such a good gig.

922
00:34:09.830 --> 00:34:11.527
Do you still have
to have herpes to work there?

923
00:34:11.527 --> 00:34:13.703
The point is... Thank you
for that.

924
00:34:13.703 --> 00:34:16.619
...that he loves it,

925
00:34:16.619 --> 00:34:19.013
and I couldn't
just ask him
to leave.

926
00:34:19.013 --> 00:34:21.494
Sure, but that house
that you guys live in,

927
00:34:21.494 --> 00:34:24.279
- it's so cramped.
- We prefer "modest."

928
00:34:24.279 --> 00:34:26.716
You don't go
on vacations.
Because we're working.

929
00:34:26.716 --> 00:34:28.109
And
all that cologne?

930
00:34:28.109 --> 00:34:30.024
They made my chopper smell
like a Nordstrom's.

931
00:34:30.024 --> 00:34:31.460
God! I hate it

932
00:34:31.460 --> 00:34:34.333
when you guys
gang up on me
like this.

933
00:34:34.333 --> 00:34:36.378
It's not fair!
And like it or not,

934
00:34:36.900 --> 00:34:37.988
Mom, Dad,

935
00:34:39.164 --> 00:34:40.469
and Lucky... Ow!

936
00:34:40.469 --> 00:34:42.732
Sebastian and I are
very happy together,

937
00:34:42.732 --> 00:34:44.865
and we're staying
in Chicago.

938
00:34:44.865 --> 00:34:46.475
I'm sorry, Dougie.

939
00:34:46.475 --> 00:34:48.608
Okay. I can't open
chakras like this.

940
00:34:48.608 --> 00:34:50.479
I'm gonna go
call my girlfriend.

941
00:34:50.479 --> 00:34:52.786
-  Oh, no!
- It's fine.
It's fine.

942
00:34:52.786 --> 00:34:54.092
Oh, shit!

943
00:34:55.049 --> 00:34:56.181
Bitcoin's down.

944
00:34:59.097 --> 00:35:00.924
Will you look at us?
Walking through

945
00:35:00.924 --> 00:35:04.232
a gated community
as guests.

946
00:35:04.232 --> 00:35:05.625
Not groundskeepers.

947
00:35:05.625 --> 00:35:07.192
Yeah. Well,
I just hope

948
00:35:07.192 --> 00:35:08.758
nothing gets stolen
this weekend,

949
00:35:08.758 --> 00:35:10.847
'cause these people
love to blame
the immigrants.

950
00:35:12.153 --> 00:35:13.415
Look at this one.
Look at this one.

951
00:35:13.415 --> 00:35:15.591
What'd she do?
Take the gym
equipment home?

952
00:35:15.591 --> 00:35:16.940
- Morning!
- Hello.

953
00:35:16.940 --> 00:35:18.333
Beautiful day,
isn't it?
Yeah.

954
00:35:18.333 --> 00:35:20.335
- Beautiful.
- Yeah. Yeah.

955
00:35:20.335 --> 00:35:22.337
You gotta be kidding me.
What the hell's her problem?

956
00:35:22.337 --> 00:35:23.817
"Beautiful day."
Give me a break.

957
00:35:23.817 --> 00:35:25.471
She's happy, Dad.

958
00:35:25.471 --> 00:35:28.213
She probably had
a father that let her
sleep in past 5:45.

959
00:35:28.213 --> 00:35:29.475
I mean, I can't
stop thinking

960
00:35:29.475 --> 00:35:30.911
about how much work
I'm missing.

961
00:35:30.911 --> 00:35:32.565
I could've done
four dyes
and a perm by now.

962
00:35:32.565 --> 00:35:34.480
Two electric bills
I could've paid. Two.

963
00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:36.090
- Good morning.
- Hello.

964
00:35:37.265 --> 00:35:39.049
"Good morning."
Come on.

965
00:35:39.049 --> 00:35:41.269
What you talking about?
She's in a bathrobe.
I can't believe this.

966
00:35:41.269 --> 00:35:43.010
I mean, don't
these people
have jobs?

967
00:35:43.010 --> 00:35:44.533
It's a holiday weekend.

968
00:35:44.533 --> 00:35:46.840
Plus, they got
their money in
the stock market.

969
00:35:46.840 --> 00:35:49.973
Not mayonnaise jars
buried in their backyard.

970
00:35:49.973 --> 00:35:52.106
Just relax.
Come on, Dad.

971
00:35:52.106 --> 00:35:54.848
It's a beautiful day!

972
00:36:02.247 --> 00:36:04.510
Back and forth,
back and forth.

973
00:36:04.510 --> 00:36:06.860
You play this game?
Come on.

974
00:36:06.860 --> 00:36:08.209
The outfits?

975
00:36:08.209 --> 00:36:09.819
The wives
with their <i>culos</i>
hanging out

976
00:36:09.819 --> 00:36:11.647
for everybody
to see?

977
00:36:11.647 --> 00:36:13.171
And when
they hit a ball,
it sounds like

978
00:36:13.171 --> 00:36:14.302
they're having
an orgasm. They're
hitting a ball.

979
00:36:15.869 --> 00:36:17.958
Come on. The only reason
I agreed to play is

980
00:36:17.958 --> 00:36:19.829
so you could spend
some time with Bill.

981
00:36:19.829 --> 00:36:21.483
So just relax
and do what
we came to do.

982
00:36:21.483 --> 00:36:22.745
Yeah, I am relaxed.

983
00:36:22.745 --> 00:36:24.182
Look, I got
sandals on.

984
00:36:24.791 --> 00:36:26.358
I'm relaxed.

985
00:36:26.358 --> 00:36:28.534
You look like
the guy who killed
John Wick's dog.

986
00:36:28.534 --> 00:36:30.188
Who's that?
I don't even
know who that is.

987
00:36:32.581 --> 00:36:34.757
So Ellie tells me
you're quite the player.

988
00:36:34.757 --> 00:36:36.411
Yeah, I've taken
a couple lessons.

989
00:36:36.411 --> 00:36:37.978
Well, get ready
to bring it.

990
00:36:37.978 --> 00:36:40.285
I love my family everywhere,

991
00:36:40.285 --> 00:36:42.635
except on
the tennis court.

992
00:36:42.635 --> 00:36:43.940
- Chest-bump!
- Oh, wow!

993
00:36:43.940 --> 00:36:46.204
Oh, jeez, that's
uncomfortable.

994
00:36:46.204 --> 00:36:48.075
Let's do this.
Mom, you ready?

995
00:36:56.475 --> 00:36:57.998
It's time
for tennis, baby!

996
00:36:59.434 --> 00:37:01.349
So, hey, Bill...
Yeah?

997
00:37:01.349 --> 00:37:03.482
So how long
you been in the
hotel business?

998
00:37:03.482 --> 00:37:05.484
Oh, yes, well,
50 years.

999
00:37:05.484 --> 00:37:07.747
A long time.
My whole life. Yeah.

1000
00:37:08.704 --> 00:37:10.445
But then it's...

1001
00:37:10.445 --> 00:37:12.752
I guess it's
a pretty exciting
thing to do.

1002
00:37:12.752 --> 00:37:14.493
I love it. I love it.
I got... I got hotel...

1003
00:37:14.493 --> 00:37:16.625
I got... I got
hotels in
my blood.

1004
00:37:16.625 --> 00:37:18.148
Just like
you have hair
in your blood.

1005
00:37:18.148 --> 00:37:19.628
Right? I mean...

1006
00:37:19.628 --> 00:37:22.631
Yo, Sea Bass.
Hope you got on
your oven mitts.

1007
00:37:22.631 --> 00:37:24.154
'Cause here comes the heat.

1008
00:37:24.154 --> 00:37:26.244
Oh.

1009
00:37:26.244 --> 00:37:29.072
Oh, my God!
Sorry.

1010
00:37:29.072 --> 00:37:30.639
What the hell was
that, Sebastian?

1011
00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:32.554
Ellie told me you had game.

1012
00:37:32.554 --> 00:37:34.164
- Sorry.
Didn't
come easy.

1013
00:37:34.164 --> 00:37:35.992
I got, uh,
kicked out
of Harvard

1014
00:37:35.992 --> 00:37:37.820
for playing
the sax. I know,
it's a long story.

1015
00:37:37.820 --> 00:37:39.474
But my dad,
he got mad.
He said,

1016
00:37:39.474 --> 00:37:41.215
"That's it.
You make it
on your own."

1017
00:37:41.215 --> 00:37:43.739
He gave me
one hotel. One.

1018
00:37:43.739 --> 00:37:45.132
- Wow.
- Yeah.

1019
00:37:45.132 --> 00:37:46.481
That's
- impressive.
- Well...

1020
00:37:48.657 --> 00:37:50.180
My father
gave me
a mule.

1021
00:37:50.920 --> 00:37:52.270
Next day
it died.

1022
00:37:54.881 --> 00:37:56.317
Gah!

1023
00:37:56.317 --> 00:37:58.754
<i>âª Put the macaroni
in the pot and cook it âª</i>

1024
00:38:01.583 --> 00:38:03.063
What's
that, Doug?

1025
00:38:03.063 --> 00:38:04.717
It's an adult
coloring book.

1026
00:38:08.373 --> 00:38:09.809
Hey,
man, you wanna
take a break

1027
00:38:09.809 --> 00:38:12.377
for some more water
or some more
tennis lessons?

1028
00:38:14.988 --> 00:38:17.251
What is going on?

1029
00:38:17.251 --> 00:38:18.600
- What?
- You love tennis,

1030
00:38:18.600 --> 00:38:20.036
and it's like
you're not even
trying out here.

1031
00:38:20.036 --> 00:38:21.473
Come on, it's
just a game.

1032
00:38:21.473 --> 00:38:22.952
Well...

1033
00:38:22.952 --> 00:38:24.345
All right.
At least
take off

1034
00:38:24.345 --> 00:38:25.738
this stupid
- tracksuit.
- No, it's cold.

1035
00:38:25.738 --> 00:38:27.130
Leave it on.
- Leave it on.
- You must be sweating...

1036
00:38:27.130 --> 00:38:28.610
No, I'm cold.
I'm cold....your tits off!

1037
00:38:28.610 --> 00:38:30.220
You're not cold.

1038
00:38:32.440 --> 00:38:34.703
Wait a sec. Are you
embarrassed to play

1039
00:38:34.703 --> 00:38:36.009
because your dad
is watching?

1040
00:38:36.009 --> 00:38:37.271
Listen, he's not
the biggest fan

1041
00:38:37.271 --> 00:38:38.620
of sports like this.

1042
00:38:38.620 --> 00:38:40.230
And I don't
really feel like
going over there

1043
00:38:40.230 --> 00:38:41.536
and explaining to him

1044
00:38:41.536 --> 00:38:43.538
that I'm paying a guy
to teach me how to play.

1045
00:38:43.538 --> 00:38:45.584
Well, you should know
that my mother is not

1046
00:38:45.584 --> 00:38:48.326
a "big fan"
of losing either.

1047
00:38:50.589 --> 00:38:53.287
Yeah.

1048
00:38:53.287 --> 00:38:55.811
Listen, at least
she stopped
chest-bumping me.

1049
00:38:55.811 --> 00:38:57.987
The only breasts
I wanna feel in
this family are yours.

1050
00:38:58.945 --> 00:39:00.338
Not if you lose.

1051
00:39:01.513 --> 00:39:03.341
Sebastian,
did Ellie
ever tell you

1052
00:39:03.341 --> 00:39:04.646
about the guy
she dated,

1053
00:39:04.646 --> 00:39:07.388
during her semester
abroad in Scotland?

1054
00:39:07.388 --> 00:39:09.695
Is that
Andy-frickin'-Murray?

1055
00:39:09.695 --> 00:39:12.524
Never lost
a match with him
on my team.

1056
00:39:12.524 --> 00:39:14.003
I wonder what
he's up to.

1057
00:39:14.003 --> 00:39:15.527
Hey, you know what?
I'll play with my weak hand.

1058
00:39:15.527 --> 00:39:17.833
That way
you guys have,
like, a shot.

1059
00:39:19.661 --> 00:39:21.097
Is that cool, Mom?

1060
00:39:21.097 --> 00:39:23.361
<i>Until then,
my nightmare had been</i>

1061
00:39:23.361 --> 00:39:26.146
<i>letting my father
see me enjoy this life.</i>

1062
00:39:33.240 --> 00:39:35.024
<i>So, much like the kick serve</i>

1063
00:39:35.024 --> 00:39:38.637
<i>I learned from a Swedish pro
named Johannes,</i>

1064
00:39:38.637 --> 00:39:40.552
<i>this would be the point</i>

1065
00:39:40.552 --> 00:39:42.075
<i>of no return.</i>

1066
00:39:45.339 --> 00:39:46.558
Ooh!

1067
00:40:21.419 --> 00:40:22.637
Oh, no.

1068
00:40:23.159 --> 00:40:24.509
You see this?

1069
00:40:24.509 --> 00:40:27.076
Crud! I am calm!

1070
00:40:27.076 --> 00:40:28.382
Serve!

1071
00:40:31.167 --> 00:40:32.952
This a game
you can
pick up fast?

1072
00:40:34.344 --> 00:40:35.433
Not at this level.

1073
00:40:41.090 --> 00:40:42.178
My, my.

1074
00:40:42.178 --> 00:40:44.746
Sebastian,
he's got game.

1075
00:40:44.746 --> 00:40:46.139
You must be
very proud.

1076
00:41:03.635 --> 00:41:05.637
Lucky! Are
you okay?

1077
00:41:05.637 --> 00:41:06.986
No, I'm not okay.

1078
00:41:06.986 --> 00:41:08.901
So sorry, Luck.

1079
00:41:08.901 --> 00:41:11.077
Oh, that's okay, Sebastian.

1080
00:41:11.077 --> 00:41:12.513
I'm sure it was
an accident.

1081
00:41:12.513 --> 00:41:13.645
Oh, my God.

1082
00:41:13.645 --> 00:41:15.211
Quick! Bill!

1083
00:41:15.211 --> 00:41:18.388
Get a small cup
of ice water
for his testes.

1084
00:41:18.388 --> 00:41:19.607
Here.
What?

1085
00:41:19.607 --> 00:41:21.043
I'm way
ahead of you, sweetheart.

1086
00:41:21.043 --> 00:41:22.392
No, no, no. no.
- Here, this
is ice tea.

1087
00:41:22.392 --> 00:41:23.393
- It's not gonna hurt.
- Easy, son.
Rest easy.

1088
00:41:23.393 --> 00:41:24.743
- Nice and cool.
- We're gonna cool

1089
00:41:24.743 --> 00:41:26.614
my future
- grandbabies.
- Stop what you're doing!

1090
00:41:26.614 --> 00:41:28.050
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no.
Do you want me

1091
00:41:28.050 --> 00:41:29.182
to squeeze one, sweetie...
Take these. Hold these.

1092
00:41:29.182 --> 00:41:30.400
...just to feel
how it is?
Trust me.

1093
00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:32.054
Don't touch.
Oh, okay.

1094
00:41:32.054 --> 00:41:33.403
<i>When did
you learn to play tennis
like that, anyway?</i>

1095
00:41:33.403 --> 00:41:35.928
I took a few lessons
for Ellie, all right?

1096
00:41:35.928 --> 00:41:37.016
It's not that big
of a deal.

1097
00:41:37.016 --> 00:41:38.452
So how much
this cost you?

1098
00:41:38.452 --> 00:41:40.323
<i>To all
the immigrant kids watching,</i>

1099
00:41:40.323 --> 00:41:42.543
<i>you know when
you get that question,</i>

1100
00:41:42.543 --> 00:41:44.327
<i>you always give them
the parent price.</i>

1101
00:41:44.327 --> 00:41:45.415
Uh, $40.

1102
00:41:45.415 --> 00:41:46.895
Forty? You're
telling me

1103
00:41:46.895 --> 00:41:47.983
you paid the price

1104
00:41:47.983 --> 00:41:49.158
of a long hair blowout

1105
00:41:49.158 --> 00:41:51.291
for somebody
to teach you
a game?

1106
00:41:51.291 --> 00:41:53.032
I mean,
what am
I gonna say?

1107
00:41:53.032 --> 00:41:55.164
<i>Now, just imagine
how he'd react if I told him</i>

1108
00:41:55.164 --> 00:41:57.210
<i>the actual price was 80.</i>

1109
00:41:57.210 --> 00:41:59.908
Next thing I know,
you'll be serving me
the bird crackers.

1110
00:42:01.301 --> 00:42:03.042
Son, serve me
the bird crackers.
Come on.

1111
00:42:03.956 --> 00:42:05.697
It's a hobby, Dad.

1112
00:42:05.697 --> 00:42:07.568
A lot of people have
them, all right?

1113
00:42:07.568 --> 00:42:09.004
Stop acting
like I'm
joining a cult.

1114
00:42:09.004 --> 00:42:10.092
Well, it is a cult.

1115
00:42:10.092 --> 00:42:11.354
Only instead
of Kool-Aid,

1116
00:42:11.354 --> 00:42:12.530
they're serving champagne.

1117
00:42:12.530 --> 00:42:14.532
Mmm.

1118
00:42:16.577 --> 00:42:17.622
Welcome,
everyone,

1119
00:42:17.622 --> 00:42:18.710
to the
<i>S.S. Collins.</i>

1120
00:42:18.710 --> 00:42:21.495
Uh, fun fact.
I won this boat,

1121
00:42:21.495 --> 00:42:22.844
playing
backgammon

1122
00:42:22.844 --> 00:42:24.237
with Sir Richard Branson.

1123
00:42:24.237 --> 00:42:26.631
So for us,
every voyage is
a Virgin one.

1124
00:42:28.197 --> 00:42:29.416
- Good one, sir.
- Thanks.

1125
00:42:29.416 --> 00:42:31.113
Now, Bill and I
have been talking,

1126
00:42:31.113 --> 00:42:33.638
and we were
going to wait

1127
00:42:33.638 --> 00:42:35.335
until the weekend
to do this,

1128
00:42:35.335 --> 00:42:37.511
but, um,
now we're just
too excited.

1129
00:42:37.511 --> 00:42:39.687
All right.
Uh, Sebastian,

1130
00:42:39.687 --> 00:42:42.255
as a lifelong hotelier,

1131
00:42:42.255 --> 00:42:44.605
and the father
of the most
wonderful girl

1132
00:42:44.605 --> 00:42:46.259
in the world... I love you.

1133
00:42:46.259 --> 00:42:48.348
...I have to say,
it just killed me...

1134
00:42:48.348 --> 00:42:50.393
killed...
Kills us.
Kills us. Yes.

1135
00:42:50.393 --> 00:42:51.656
We are dead,

1136
00:42:51.656 --> 00:42:54.093
thinking that
you are working

1137
00:42:54.093 --> 00:42:55.790
for our biggest competitor.

1138
00:42:55.790 --> 00:42:57.400
So... Go on.

1139
00:42:57.400 --> 00:42:58.532
Shall I?Yes.

1140
00:42:58.532 --> 00:43:00.142
- Right now?
- Please do.

1141
00:43:00.142 --> 00:43:01.883
Okay.
- Daddy,
what is it?

1142
00:43:01.883 --> 00:43:05.365
On behalf
of the Collins
Hotel group,

1143
00:43:05.365 --> 00:43:07.193
I would love you
to join our side

1144
00:43:07.193 --> 00:43:09.238
and become
the new face

1145
00:43:09.238 --> 00:43:12.198
of the luxurious
five-star experience,

1146
00:43:12.198 --> 00:43:14.113
that is...
drum roll,

1147
00:43:16.637 --> 00:43:18.030
The Barrymore Hotel.

1148
00:43:18.030 --> 00:43:19.118
Go on. Yeah.

1149
00:43:19.118 --> 00:43:20.293
Not kidding.

1150
00:43:20.293 --> 00:43:22.164
What?
Are you serious?

1151
00:43:22.164 --> 00:43:23.601
Not kidding.
Very serious.

1152
00:43:23.601 --> 00:43:25.254
This is
your signature property.

1153
00:43:25.254 --> 00:43:26.995
The most
prestigious hotel
in D.C.

1154
00:43:26.995 --> 00:43:28.257
Yeah,
it better be.
We just spent

1155
00:43:28.257 --> 00:43:30.477
$240 million
restoring it.

1156
00:43:30.477 --> 00:43:33.219
Uh, Dad, I thought
you were saving
that job for me.

1157
00:43:33.219 --> 00:43:34.873
We regularly drug test.

1158
00:43:34.873 --> 00:43:36.962
Oh. Okay then.

1159
00:43:36.962 --> 00:43:39.051
Mom, Dad,
this is
so generous.

1160
00:43:39.051 --> 00:43:40.487
We
wouldn't do this

1161
00:43:40.487 --> 00:43:43.098
if we didn't think
he was perfect
for the job.

1162
00:43:43.098 --> 00:43:45.144
Come on, let's
go get some
more champagne.

1163
00:43:45.144 --> 00:43:46.232
- Let's take a look.
- I mean...

1164
00:43:46.232 --> 00:43:47.537
Let's take
a look at...
What?

1165
00:43:47.537 --> 00:43:48.713
...what you're... I can't
believe this.

1166
00:43:48.713 --> 00:43:49.888
...going to be
the new manager of.

1167
00:43:49.888 --> 00:43:51.541
Now this was
built in 1896.

1168
00:43:51.541 --> 00:43:53.369
It's been completely restored,

1169
00:43:53.369 --> 00:43:55.937
down to the dings
and the doorknobs.

1170
00:43:57.591 --> 00:43:59.593
Take a look.
No, they're all... Everything.

1171
00:43:59.593 --> 00:44:02.074
Hey, uh, Doug,
what are you doing?

1172
00:44:02.074 --> 00:44:04.206
Just getting
the blood flowing.

1173
00:44:05.555 --> 00:44:06.731
Your face is
getting a little red.

1174
00:44:07.470 --> 00:44:09.342
Yeah, I... I feel dizzy.

1175
00:44:10.169 --> 00:44:11.953
Yeah, me, too.

1176
00:44:11.953 --> 00:44:14.086
Oh, that's the
Jackie Onassis boardroom.

1177
00:44:14.086 --> 00:44:16.131
She was never there,
but we wish she would
have been.

1178
00:44:17.872 --> 00:44:20.353
This painting
in the lobby
here looks...

1179
00:44:20.353 --> 00:44:23.748
Yes, we... There's art.
Oh, we have... Yes.

1180
00:44:23.748 --> 00:44:25.271
This painting
in the board room.

1181
00:44:25.271 --> 00:44:27.534
Yeah, there's
a painting.
I recognize that sunset.

1182
00:44:27.534 --> 00:44:29.710
Wait a minute.
Did you buy
Ellie's paintings?

1183
00:44:29.710 --> 00:44:32.147
- Does she know?
- We bought a few

1184
00:44:32.147 --> 00:44:33.975
through this designer
that we know,

1185
00:44:33.975 --> 00:44:35.542
it's no big deal.

1186
00:44:35.542 --> 00:44:38.763
We're supporting
our baby's dream.

1187
00:44:38.763 --> 00:44:41.026
Let's close this.

1188
00:44:41.026 --> 00:44:42.331
A little champagne.

1189
00:44:42.331 --> 00:44:44.072
Oh, good.
I'll have some.
I'll have some.

1190
00:44:44.072 --> 00:44:45.465
Excuse me, Daddy.

1191
00:44:47.554 --> 00:44:49.556
So, what are
you thinking?

1192
00:44:49.556 --> 00:44:51.558
Yeah, well, Bill,
that's a very
generous offer,

1193
00:44:51.558 --> 00:44:54.213
but Sebastian
obviously has to
think about that.

1194
00:44:54.213 --> 00:44:55.388
Right?

1195
00:44:55.388 --> 00:44:56.998
Yeah.
Absolutely, Dad. Yeah.

1196
00:44:56.998 --> 00:44:59.305
Of course.
This would be

1197
00:44:59.305 --> 00:45:00.741
a big move
for everyone,

1198
00:45:00.741 --> 00:45:03.396
so please,
take your time.

1199
00:45:03.396 --> 00:45:04.876
- Talk it over.
- Right.

1200
00:45:04.876 --> 00:45:06.529
And then tell us
what day to send
the moving trucks.

1201
00:45:08.227 --> 00:45:10.185
Dad.

1202
00:45:10.185 --> 00:45:13.101
Oh, this is
so cool!
So cool!

1203
00:45:13.101 --> 00:45:14.668
Hey, as
a possible member

1204
00:45:14.668 --> 00:45:17.932
of our, um,
family company,

1205
00:45:17.932 --> 00:45:19.934
how about we celebrate with
a little jet-booting, huh?

1206
00:45:19.934 --> 00:45:21.719
Oh, that sounds
great, man.
Count me in.

1207
00:45:21.719 --> 00:45:23.155
What's jet-booting?

1208
00:45:24.591 --> 00:45:27.202
Whoo! Whoa!

1209
00:45:27.202 --> 00:45:29.335
This is amazing, Lucky!

1210
00:45:29.335 --> 00:45:30.858
All right! Look at you.

1211
00:45:30.858 --> 00:45:33.078
Baby, you're doing so good!

1212
00:45:33.078 --> 00:45:35.558
I feel like I'm flying! Whoa!

1213
00:45:35.558 --> 00:45:37.604
- Use your core!
- I'm actually smiling.

1214
00:45:37.604 --> 00:45:39.824
This smile is real.

1215
00:45:41.042 --> 00:45:42.391
Salvo, would
you like

1216
00:45:42.391 --> 00:45:44.176
to borrow some
swim trunks?

1217
00:45:44.176 --> 00:45:45.960
We have
a hot tub upstairs.

1218
00:45:45.960 --> 00:45:47.570
I'm fine.
I'm trying
to watch him.

1219
00:45:47.570 --> 00:45:49.050
- Oh.
- Make sure
he's okay.

1220
00:45:50.269 --> 00:45:52.053
Hey...

1221
00:45:52.053 --> 00:45:53.838
I just wanted
to thank you

1222
00:45:53.838 --> 00:45:57.015
for looking
after Ellie
in Chicago.

1223
00:45:57.015 --> 00:45:59.626
We feel so lucky
she's met your son.

1224
00:45:59.626 --> 00:46:01.410
Well, he's a good kid. Thanks.

1225
00:46:01.410 --> 00:46:02.890
I'm king
of the world!

1226
00:46:02.890 --> 00:46:04.370
Always out making
an ass of himself.

1227
00:46:07.416 --> 00:46:09.114
I know
you guys are close,

1228
00:46:09.114 --> 00:46:12.552
so if they do
end up in D.C.,

1229
00:46:12.552 --> 00:46:15.598
I promise we will
take good care of him.

1230
00:46:15.598 --> 00:46:17.078
Honestly, I wouldn't
get your hopes up.

1231
00:46:17.078 --> 00:46:19.951
I can't imagine Sebastian
ever leaving Chicago or me.

1232
00:46:19.951 --> 00:46:21.387
'Cause I'm
the only family
he's got.

1233
00:46:22.997 --> 00:46:25.173
I used to say
the same thing
about Ellie.

1234
00:46:28.786 --> 00:46:31.005
Hey, Dad!
Check it out!
I can dive!

1235
00:46:34.269 --> 00:46:37.011
Look at that.
He's very athletic.
He's quite good.

1236
00:46:37.011 --> 00:46:38.534
Dad!

1237
00:46:38.534 --> 00:46:39.666
Yeah, he gets it
from my side.

1238
00:46:39.666 --> 00:46:40.885
Whoa!

1239
00:46:42.190 --> 00:46:43.713
Whoo-hoo!

1240
00:46:43.713 --> 00:46:44.845
Look at this!

1241
00:46:46.847 --> 00:46:48.196
- Oh, my gosh!
- Oh, shit!

1242
00:46:49.589 --> 00:46:51.112
Sebastian,
- your suit!
- It's Versace.

1243
00:46:51.112 --> 00:46:52.287
Do you like it?

1244
00:46:52.287 --> 00:46:54.420
No, you moron!
It's not up!

1245
00:46:54.420 --> 00:46:56.726
- Look down!
Oh, God!

1246
00:46:56.726 --> 00:46:59.033
Hey, Bubba Gump! Nice shrimp!

1247
00:46:59.033 --> 00:47:00.861
I can't get it. Whoa!

1248
00:47:01.340 --> 00:47:02.602
Oh!

1249
00:47:02.602 --> 00:47:03.690
Whoa! You good, man?

1250
00:47:05.431 --> 00:47:06.780
What's the matter
with you?

1251
00:47:06.780 --> 00:47:08.260
Pull up your pants!

1252
00:47:08.260 --> 00:47:09.914
I can't reach it.

1253
00:47:09.914 --> 00:47:12.655
Hey, what the hell
do I do?

1254
00:47:12.655 --> 00:47:14.919
Son, your sail
is at half-mast.

1255
00:47:14.919 --> 00:47:17.399
Oh, no, no, uh,
it looks like
it's full mast.

1256
00:47:17.399 --> 00:47:18.574
Oh, no!

1257
00:47:21.926 --> 00:47:23.275
Sebastian!

1258
00:47:23.275 --> 00:47:24.885
No, no.
Okay, don't... TIGGER: No!

1259
00:47:24.885 --> 00:47:26.060
- Stay down!
- No, no. No.

1260
00:47:26.060 --> 00:47:27.801
Stay down.
Stay down.
No!

1261
00:47:27.801 --> 00:47:29.020
- Okay. Okay.
- God!

1262
00:47:29.020 --> 00:47:30.760
All right,
that is not appropriate.

1263
00:47:30.760 --> 00:47:33.154
I'm going to be sick.
No, it's...

1264
00:47:33.154 --> 00:47:35.287
Honey, my mom
can't unsee that.

1265
00:47:37.289 --> 00:47:39.378
Hey, Sea Bass!
Say hi to TikTok.

1266
00:47:45.819 --> 00:47:47.038
Dad, what
the hell you doing?

1267
00:47:47.038 --> 00:47:48.430
Packing.

1268
00:47:48.430 --> 00:47:50.476
I'm going back
to Chicago
tomorrow morning.

1269
00:47:50.476 --> 00:47:52.173
What, are you crazy?
We're not leaving.

1270
00:47:52.173 --> 00:47:53.740
You didn't even
give me the ring yet.

1271
00:47:53.740 --> 00:47:55.873
Trust me.
What I saw today,

1272
00:47:55.873 --> 00:47:57.657
you don't come back from.

1273
00:47:57.657 --> 00:47:59.311
Oh, stop being
so dramatic.

1274
00:47:59.311 --> 00:48:00.747
It was from far away.

1275
00:48:00.747 --> 00:48:01.966
Nobody saw much.

1276
00:48:01.966 --> 00:48:03.402
Yeah, that's for sure.

1277
00:48:03.402 --> 00:48:05.230
Look, I know
I haven't seen
you naked

1278
00:48:05.230 --> 00:48:07.101
since the delivery room,
but is it possible

1279
00:48:07.101 --> 00:48:09.364
your <i>pisellino</i> hasn't
even grown since then?

1280
00:48:09.364 --> 00:48:11.062
Would you put
the suitcase away?

1281
00:48:11.062 --> 00:48:12.672
No, I'm gonna
bring you home,

1282
00:48:12.672 --> 00:48:14.152
set you up
with some
Italian girls,

1283
00:48:14.152 --> 00:48:15.544
help you
start over fresh.

1284
00:48:15.544 --> 00:48:17.633
And I even got
a nice new
hairstyle for you.

1285
00:48:17.633 --> 00:48:19.592
Dad, I'm in love with Ellie.
That wouldn't change

1286
00:48:19.592 --> 00:48:22.029
if I accidentally showed
my balls to the entire world.

1287
00:48:22.029 --> 00:48:23.770
Oh, is that what
you got planned
for tomorrow?

1288
00:48:23.770 --> 00:48:25.598
Son, you gotta
stop pretending

1289
00:48:25.598 --> 00:48:27.861
that you fit in
with these people,
because you don't.

1290
00:48:27.861 --> 00:48:29.471
I'm not pretending.

1291
00:48:29.471 --> 00:48:31.256
Are you serious?
I mean, every time
you're with this family,

1292
00:48:31.256 --> 00:48:32.431
you make a fool of yourself.

1293
00:48:32.431 --> 00:48:33.911
Because you raised me

1294
00:48:33.911 --> 00:48:36.087
to be afraid
of trying anything new.

1295
00:48:36.087 --> 00:48:38.045
I mean, God.
Dad, listen,

1296
00:48:38.045 --> 00:48:40.787
I honestly...
I was nervous
to bring you here.

1297
00:48:40.787 --> 00:48:42.310
'Cause I knew
you would just
sit here,

1298
00:48:42.310 --> 00:48:44.182
and judge
with your black shirt,

1299
00:48:44.182 --> 00:48:45.313
your zipper purse,

1300
00:48:45.313 --> 00:48:46.749
your resting bitch face.

1301
00:48:46.749 --> 00:48:48.577
Hey, I don't have
resting bitch face.

1302
00:48:48.577 --> 00:48:50.579
We look like
Italian gargoyles.

1303
00:48:50.579 --> 00:48:51.841
You look
like you're
gonna murder

1304
00:48:51.841 --> 00:48:53.974
the entire neighborhood.

1305
00:48:53.974 --> 00:48:55.715
You know what
your problem is?

1306
00:48:55.715 --> 00:48:58.326
You're so negative,
you can't let yourself
enjoy anything,

1307
00:48:58.326 --> 00:48:59.849
so you think I can't either.

1308
00:49:00.894 --> 00:49:04.202
Dad, Ellie is my future.

1309
00:49:04.202 --> 00:49:07.640
And I'm gonna keep
an open mind
about everything.

1310
00:49:07.640 --> 00:49:09.903
Whoa, whoa. What do
you mean, everything?

1311
00:49:09.903 --> 00:49:12.123
- Even the job offer?
- Maybe.

1312
00:49:12.123 --> 00:49:13.167
It's a pretty good one.

1313
00:49:15.604 --> 00:49:16.692
Unbelievable.

1314
00:49:17.389 --> 00:49:18.390
Unbelievable.

1315
00:49:20.218 --> 00:49:21.349
Unbelievable.

1316
00:49:25.658 --> 00:49:27.616
First, your mother is
taken away from me.

1317
00:49:27.616 --> 00:49:29.444
Now you wanna leave.

1318
00:49:29.444 --> 00:49:31.925
I'm not leaving you, Dad.

1319
00:49:31.925 --> 00:49:34.667
Ellie's the best thing
that ever happened to me.

1320
00:49:34.667 --> 00:49:36.669
And when
I get married, not if,

1321
00:49:36.669 --> 00:49:40.499
her family is going to be
a big part of the package.

1322
00:49:40.499 --> 00:49:43.371
Now, I want you
to be a part of my life.

1323
00:49:43.371 --> 00:49:45.678
But if that's gonna happen,
you gotta give me some effort.

1324
00:49:45.678 --> 00:49:49.203
I wanna see
the Salvo at the salon

1325
00:49:49.203 --> 00:49:51.379
that everybody loves.

1326
00:49:51.379 --> 00:49:52.772
And if I don't,
I got no choice

1327
00:49:52.772 --> 00:49:54.208
but to leave you behind.

1328
00:49:59.605 --> 00:50:02.434
I don't know.
How can you say that?
How can you say that?

1329
00:50:02.434 --> 00:50:05.741
How could you say that
to your father?

1330
00:50:07.526 --> 00:50:10.137
You got no respect
for your family.

1331
00:50:10.137 --> 00:50:12.748
I got enough respect to know
we could go to bed angry

1332
00:50:14.228 --> 00:50:16.752
but not stinky.
Come on.

1333
00:50:18.711 --> 00:50:20.495
Now, come on,
let's do our
night spritz.

1334
00:50:27.807 --> 00:50:30.679
I miss you, and I wish
you were here for
so many reasons.

1335
00:50:30.679 --> 00:50:32.855
So many reasons, just...

1336
00:50:32.855 --> 00:50:35.554
For one, just tell me,
am I being an asshole?

1337
00:50:35.554 --> 00:50:38.905
Are we really doing
the right thing
for our son?

1338
00:50:38.905 --> 00:50:41.647
Just give me
some kind of sign, something.

1339
00:50:42.082 --> 00:50:43.431
Please?

1340
00:50:43.431 --> 00:50:44.998
Just let me know
what you think.

1341
00:50:45.825 --> 00:50:47.609
I... I...

1342
00:50:47.609 --> 00:50:49.350
Give me some sign, honey.

1343
00:51:08.195 --> 00:51:09.849
I love you.

1344
00:51:09.849 --> 00:51:11.242
Hi, Doug.

1345
00:51:12.591 --> 00:51:14.419
- Hello.
- What are you doing?

1346
00:51:14.419 --> 00:51:16.769
I was just serenading
the peacocks.

1347
00:51:17.509 --> 00:51:18.597
Oh.

1348
00:51:21.556 --> 00:51:23.428
Would you be
open enough

1349
00:51:23.428 --> 00:51:26.257
to doing
a healing session
with me?

1350
00:51:26.257 --> 00:51:27.345
A healing session?

1351
00:51:27.345 --> 00:51:29.216
It'll be
very beneficial for you.

1352
00:51:31.218 --> 00:51:32.350
Well, that's a nice offer,

1353
00:51:32.350 --> 00:51:33.742
but I don't know
if I even know

1354
00:51:33.742 --> 00:51:35.004
what you're talking about.

1355
00:51:35.004 --> 00:51:38.225
Well, just start
by shutting your eyes,

1356
00:51:39.096 --> 00:51:40.793
and then, really,
just focus

1357
00:51:40.793 --> 00:51:42.447
on your breathing.

1358
00:51:42.447 --> 00:51:43.578
In your nose.

1359
00:51:44.362 --> 00:51:45.450
Out your nose.

1360
00:51:46.364 --> 00:51:48.888
And if you can,

1361
00:51:48.888 --> 00:51:52.674
really try to connect
to that little Salvo,

1362
00:51:52.674 --> 00:51:54.981
that was afraid
when you were young.

1363
00:51:56.243 --> 00:51:58.245
I don't even know
where he is anymore.

1364
00:51:58.245 --> 00:52:00.160
That's so long ago.

1365
00:52:00.160 --> 00:52:02.423
You know, I'm in another...
I'm in another life.

1366
00:52:04.512 --> 00:52:07.254
Let me help you
find him, okay?

1367
00:52:07.254 --> 00:52:08.777
Just stay with your breath.

1368
00:52:16.524 --> 00:52:18.831
- Heal, little Salvo.
- Okay, I feel better.

1369
00:52:20.398 --> 00:52:21.747
- You do?
- Mmm-hmm.

1370
00:52:21.747 --> 00:52:23.096
- Yeah. Thanks.
- Okay.

1371
00:52:23.096 --> 00:52:24.880
I'm gonna
go to sleep. Okay.

1372
00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:26.012
- Thank you.
- Good night.

1373
00:52:26.012 --> 00:52:27.666
Good night.
Good night, Doug.

1374
00:52:27.666 --> 00:52:29.146
I'm glad
I could help.
Thank you. Yeah.

1375
00:52:29.146 --> 00:52:31.452
Thank you.
Big help.

1376
00:52:33.324 --> 00:52:35.543
<i>Yesterday was
a day of regrettable firsts.</i>

1377
00:52:36.414 --> 00:52:37.806
<i>I yelled at my father</i>

1378
00:52:37.806 --> 00:52:40.983
<i>and I showed my balls
to my future in-laws.</i>

1379
00:52:40.983 --> 00:52:42.071
<i>But who knows?</i>

1380
00:52:42.071 --> 00:52:44.030
<i>Maybe everybody forgot?</i>

1381
00:52:44.030 --> 00:52:46.859
Well, there's
the big swimmer.

1382
00:52:46.859 --> 00:52:48.382
Hey, did you
see the full moon
last night?

1383
00:52:48.382 --> 00:52:50.167
Okay. Just... I'm talking about
your butt.

1384
00:52:50.167 --> 00:52:51.951
All right.
Ignore him.

1385
00:52:51.951 --> 00:52:53.692
His butt cheeks
- are the full moon.
- Yes, I understand.

1386
00:52:53.692 --> 00:52:56.216
Um, how you
doing, kiddo?

1387
00:52:56.216 --> 00:52:58.175
- I'm all right.
Good.

1388
00:52:58.175 --> 00:52:59.915
- Have you seen my dad?
Yes.

1389
00:52:59.915 --> 00:53:01.482
He is out
taking a walk

1390
00:53:01.482 --> 00:53:02.875
with Ellie, Doug
and Tigger.

1391
00:53:02.875 --> 00:53:04.268
- A walk?
Yes, he was...

1392
00:53:04.268 --> 00:53:05.617
he was...
Well, here.

1393
00:53:05.617 --> 00:53:06.879
- Speak of the devil.
So I says to him...

1394
00:53:06.879 --> 00:53:08.924
I says, "Why would I
buy you a skateboard

1395
00:53:08.924 --> 00:53:09.969
"when I can build you one?"

1396
00:53:09.969 --> 00:53:13.190
Holy Mother of God.

1397
00:53:13.190 --> 00:53:14.408
Sleepy head,
I was just
telling 'em

1398
00:53:14.408 --> 00:53:15.627
about the time
I gave you
a skateboard

1399
00:53:15.627 --> 00:53:16.715
for Christmas.
You remember that?

1400
00:53:16.715 --> 00:53:18.195
Ah, I remember
that. Yeah.

1401
00:53:18.195 --> 00:53:19.674
What time
did you get up
anyway?

1402
00:53:19.674 --> 00:53:21.198
I got up early.
I didn't want
to wake you,

1403
00:53:21.198 --> 00:53:22.286
so I snuck out,

1404
00:53:22.286 --> 00:53:24.331
did my laundry,
watched TV,

1405
00:53:24.331 --> 00:53:26.028
fixed one
of their bannisters,

1406
00:53:26.028 --> 00:53:27.465
reorganized
the spice rack.

1407
00:53:27.465 --> 00:53:28.553
Then when
the sun came up,

1408
00:53:28.553 --> 00:53:30.294
I started making breakfast.

1409
00:53:30.294 --> 00:53:32.121
Then I went
for a walk to get
to know the family.

1410
00:53:32.121 --> 00:53:33.471
Good people,
these Collins.

1411
00:53:33.471 --> 00:53:35.864
Good people.
Even the commie.

1412
00:53:35.864 --> 00:53:37.170
Oh, I'm
a socialist.

1413
00:53:37.170 --> 00:53:38.650
Well, whatever
you say,
Che Guevara.

1414
00:53:38.650 --> 00:53:40.739
Oh, that's funny.

1415
00:53:42.480 --> 00:53:44.830
Get over here.

1416
00:53:44.830 --> 00:53:46.701
- What the hell's going on?
- What do you mean,
what's going on?

1417
00:53:46.701 --> 00:53:48.137
I'm doing what
you asked me to do.

1418
00:53:48.137 --> 00:53:49.835
Making an effort,
like you asked.

1419
00:53:49.835 --> 00:53:52.229
Okay. No, I appreciate it.
But Jesus, the shorts.

1420
00:53:52.229 --> 00:53:53.360
Yeah. So what?

1421
00:53:53.360 --> 00:53:54.666
I've never seen
your legs before.

1422
00:53:54.666 --> 00:53:56.015
Yeah, you haven't.

1423
00:53:56.015 --> 00:53:57.321
That's right.
They're not
too bad.

1424
00:53:57.321 --> 00:53:58.844
They look like
pretzel sticks
in socks.

1425
00:53:58.844 --> 00:54:00.149
Don't blame me.
This is what

1426
00:54:00.149 --> 00:54:01.368
these people
gave me,
you know?

1427
00:54:01.368 --> 00:54:04.458
What can I tell you?
I want to join the fun.

1428
00:54:04.458 --> 00:54:06.373
And I feel great,
and I can't wait

1429
00:54:06.373 --> 00:54:07.809
to see what the
universe suggests

1430
00:54:07.809 --> 00:54:09.681
after I opened
my eyes.

1431
00:54:09.681 --> 00:54:11.813
We did
a healing session together.

1432
00:54:11.813 --> 00:54:14.381
Yeah. Little Salvo's
not afraid anymore.

1433
00:54:14.381 --> 00:54:16.427
- Little Salvo?
- Yeah.

1434
00:54:16.427 --> 00:54:17.950
I hope
everyone's ready

1435
00:54:17.950 --> 00:54:19.691
for Family Fun Day.

1436
00:54:19.691 --> 00:54:20.953
I am. I am.

1437
00:54:20.953 --> 00:54:22.171
Oh,
what's Family Fun Day?

1438
00:54:22.171 --> 00:54:23.477
What?
What, are you dense?

1439
00:54:23.477 --> 00:54:25.174
Everything you
need to know
is in the name.

1440
00:54:25.174 --> 00:54:26.567
- Duh!
- Duh!

1441
00:54:26.567 --> 00:54:28.047
Okay.
<i>Salud!</i>

1442
00:54:28.047 --> 00:54:29.309
What the hell
is this?

1443
00:54:29.309 --> 00:54:30.441
It's a big
4th of July tradition.

1444
00:54:30.441 --> 00:54:32.878
There's relay races,
and croquet,

1445
00:54:32.878 --> 00:54:34.140
and face painting,

1446
00:54:34.140 --> 00:54:35.533
and a hot dog
eating contest.

1447
00:54:35.533 --> 00:54:36.882
It's just a lot of fun.

1448
00:54:43.062 --> 00:54:44.281
<i>I know
I'd asked the man</i>

1449
00:54:44.281 --> 00:54:45.586
<i>to start making an effort,</i>

1450
00:54:45.586 --> 00:54:47.153
<i>but this was crazy.</i>

1451
00:54:47.153 --> 00:54:49.590
<i>I felt like
I created a monster.</i>

1452
00:54:49.590 --> 00:54:51.723
<i>Except instead
of looking scary,</i>

1453
00:54:51.723 --> 00:54:55.117
<i>he was smiling, playing games,</i>

1454
00:54:55.117 --> 00:54:57.424
<i>dressing like
the American flag.</i>

1455
00:54:57.424 --> 00:54:58.643
All right!

1456
00:54:58.643 --> 00:55:00.906
The Maniscalcos.

1457
00:55:00.906 --> 00:55:02.995
What's your
angle here?
No angle. I'm happy.

1458
00:55:02.995 --> 00:55:04.344
I'm with my family.

1459
00:55:04.344 --> 00:55:05.432
Say, "Fireworks."

1460
00:55:05.432 --> 00:55:07.304
- Fireworks.
- Chee... Say firework.

1461
00:55:11.438 --> 00:55:12.831
It's like bocce with sticks.

1462
00:55:15.703 --> 00:55:17.226
All right.
You wanna
take a look?

1463
00:55:18.619 --> 00:55:20.229
- Nice.
- Right?

1464
00:55:20.229 --> 00:55:22.362
And the winner
of this year's

1465
00:55:22.362 --> 00:55:25.757
4th of July
hot dog eating
contest is

1466
00:55:25.757 --> 00:55:28.020
Salvo Manisculo!

1467
00:55:35.810 --> 00:55:37.421
<i>My father was
having a great time,</i>

1468
00:55:37.421 --> 00:55:40.337
<i>and suddenly, I was the one
who was uncomfortable.</i>

1469
00:55:40.337 --> 00:55:42.382
<i>I wanted him
to make an effort,</i>

1470
00:55:42.382 --> 00:55:44.515
<i>not change
who he was completely.</i>

1471
00:55:48.432 --> 00:55:49.607
There he is.

1472
00:55:49.607 --> 00:55:51.478
The MVP.

1473
00:55:51.478 --> 00:55:53.175
What are you doing?
Checking out
your hardware?

1474
00:55:53.175 --> 00:55:55.308
I just figured out
how these people
stay so rich.

1475
00:55:55.308 --> 00:55:56.962
They do everything
on the cheap.

1476
00:55:56.962 --> 00:55:58.529
Hear that? Plastic.

1477
00:56:00.052 --> 00:56:01.227
Huh.

1478
00:56:01.227 --> 00:56:03.055
Just enjoy it,
will you, please?

1479
00:56:03.055 --> 00:56:05.013
I mean, you kicked
some ass out there today,

1480
00:56:05.013 --> 00:56:06.798
and I think these people
are starting to like you.

1481
00:56:06.798 --> 00:56:08.713
Yeah. Yeah. Come on.
They're just being polite.

1482
00:56:08.713 --> 00:56:09.931
I'm serious.

1483
00:56:09.931 --> 00:56:12.978
Bill even has
a signature scent now.

1484
00:56:12.978 --> 00:56:15.284
Oh, yeah?
What brand?
He won't divulge.

1485
00:56:15.284 --> 00:56:16.851
- He won't divulge?
- Yeah.

1486
00:56:16.851 --> 00:56:18.897
- Salvo.
I wanna smell that.

1487
00:56:18.897 --> 00:56:20.551
Oh, my God.
I've been looking
all over for you.

1488
00:56:20.551 --> 00:56:22.553
Um, so,
my mom just
got invited

1489
00:56:22.553 --> 00:56:24.555
to be on MSNBC
in two hours.

1490
00:56:24.555 --> 00:56:25.686
- That's great.
- Yes.

1491
00:56:25.686 --> 00:56:27.514
Well, it would
be, but Tyler,

1492
00:56:27.514 --> 00:56:29.168
well, he's
in Sedona,

1493
00:56:29.168 --> 00:56:31.692
and I have
no one to do
my hair.

1494
00:56:31.692 --> 00:56:32.954
So we were thinking

1495
00:56:32.954 --> 00:56:34.391
maybe you could
help her out.

1496
00:56:34.391 --> 00:56:35.870
I mean, that's like
asking Van Gogh

1497
00:56:35.870 --> 00:56:37.132
to draw a smiley face.

1498
00:56:37.132 --> 00:56:39.526
Yes!
Great!

1499
00:56:39.526 --> 00:56:40.745
Mmm.

1500
00:56:43.138 --> 00:56:44.662
I'd be lying to you
if I told you

1501
00:56:44.662 --> 00:56:47.534
I didn't have my eyes
on your lustrous mane
all weekend.

1502
00:56:47.534 --> 00:56:50.232
It's nice to finally get
my hands up in here.

1503
00:56:50.232 --> 00:56:52.452
Hmm. I am
very grateful.

1504
00:56:53.018 --> 00:56:54.149
Ah.

1505
00:56:55.716 --> 00:56:58.066
Are those cigars?

1506
00:56:58.719 --> 00:56:59.720
Yeah.

1507
00:57:01.461 --> 00:57:02.549
Can I have one?

1508
00:57:03.115 --> 00:57:04.464
Oh, boy.

1509
00:57:04.464 --> 00:57:06.292
This day just
keeps getting
better and better.

1510
00:57:06.292 --> 00:57:07.859
Of course,
you can have one.

1511
00:57:07.859 --> 00:57:08.990
Be my guest.

1512
00:57:11.906 --> 00:57:12.951
Oh!

1513
00:57:14.039 --> 00:57:15.649
Only the best.
Can I have one?

1514
00:57:15.649 --> 00:57:16.998
Oh, please
join me.

1515
00:57:17.608 --> 00:57:18.609
Okay.

1516
00:57:22.090 --> 00:57:23.440
Fine.

1517
00:57:30.882 --> 00:57:31.970
Mmm.

1518
00:57:35.103 --> 00:57:36.191
You know,
I never met
a woman

1519
00:57:36.191 --> 00:57:39.456
who smokes
cigars before.
Yeah?

1520
00:57:39.456 --> 00:57:42.023
I got hooked
in the Navy.
Wait a minute.

1521
00:57:42.023 --> 00:57:44.461
- You're military?
- Mmm-hmm.

1522
00:57:44.461 --> 00:57:46.898
I thought you went to one
of those Ivy places.

1523
00:57:46.898 --> 00:57:48.639
I enlisted
after graduation.

1524
00:57:50.336 --> 00:57:52.904
I just felt
a duty to
my country.

1525
00:57:52.904 --> 00:57:55.123
But mostly, I did it
to piss off my parents.

1526
00:57:56.560 --> 00:57:57.517
You?

1527
00:57:58.170 --> 00:57:59.388
Army.

1528
00:57:59.388 --> 00:58:00.607
Combat?

1529
00:58:00.607 --> 00:58:02.130
- Cook.
- Ah!

1530
00:58:02.914 --> 00:58:04.306
Well, happy 4th to you.

1531
00:58:04.306 --> 00:58:07.092
You, too. <i>Salud.</i>

1532
00:58:07.092 --> 00:58:08.876
It's nice to have
another actual vet

1533
00:58:08.876 --> 00:58:10.748
out here to celebrate.

1534
00:58:13.794 --> 00:58:14.969
Oh!

1535
00:58:29.462 --> 00:58:31.029
Hey.

1536
00:58:31.029 --> 00:58:32.596
- How's it going?
- I can't hear anything.

1537
00:58:32.596 --> 00:58:34.511
So they're either
getting along,

1538
00:58:34.511 --> 00:58:37.601
or they're
quietly stabbing
each other.

1539
00:58:37.601 --> 00:58:39.472
Listen, I have
great news.

1540
00:58:39.472 --> 00:58:41.474
- What's up?
- Okay. So,
that decorator

1541
00:58:41.474 --> 00:58:43.824
that bought all my work,
they've already
placed all the pieces.

1542
00:58:43.824 --> 00:58:45.522
They can't say where
for privacy reasons,

1543
00:58:45.522 --> 00:58:47.698
but it probably means
that they're gonna
want a lot more.

1544
00:58:47.698 --> 00:58:49.743
- That's great!
- Isn't it?

1545
00:58:49.743 --> 00:58:51.919
Wait. Why is
your voice going up?

1546
00:58:51.919 --> 00:58:52.964
Why does your face
look like that?

1547
00:58:52.964 --> 00:58:54.835
What's going on?

1548
00:58:54.835 --> 00:58:55.923
Listen, babe,

1549
00:58:55.923 --> 00:58:58.317
I...

1550
00:58:58.317 --> 00:58:59.710
Voila.

1551
00:59:01.494 --> 00:59:04.192
Oh, what...
What is this? What...

1552
00:59:05.454 --> 00:59:08.327
This isn't at all
what I asked
you to do.

1553
00:59:08.327 --> 00:59:11.635
Well, yeah.
You see, I don't
really do requests.

1554
00:59:11.635 --> 00:59:13.419
The way I work is,
I look at your face,

1555
00:59:13.419 --> 00:59:16.074
I get a sense
of your aura,
who you are,

1556
00:59:16.074 --> 00:59:17.858
then I let that
dictate the style

1557
00:59:17.858 --> 00:59:19.817
that your personality demands.

1558
00:59:19.817 --> 00:59:22.036
I am about
to go on television,

1559
00:59:22.036 --> 00:59:24.952
and I just...
I just wanted to
look like myself.

1560
00:59:24.952 --> 00:59:26.606
Oh!

1561
00:59:26.606 --> 00:59:28.826
Bill,
do I look horrible?

1562
00:59:29.653 --> 00:59:31.437
- No, no, no.
No?

1563
00:59:31.437 --> 00:59:32.960
It is not
horrible. It's...

1564
00:59:32.960 --> 00:59:35.963
- Ellie?
- Um, I just
feel like...

1565
00:59:35.963 --> 00:59:38.096
- I don't know what it is.
- Dad, couldn't
you just ditch

1566
00:59:38.096 --> 00:59:40.098
the aura crap,
and give her
what she wanted?

1567
00:59:40.098 --> 00:59:41.969
Whoa! That's like
asking Caravaggio
to go back in,

1568
00:59:41.969 --> 00:59:43.754
and retouch up
the beheading
of Holofernes.

1569
00:59:43.754 --> 00:59:44.972
- The what a... Who?
- I don't do that.

1570
00:59:44.972 --> 00:59:46.495
Can we, as a family,
please force Doug

1571
00:59:46.495 --> 00:59:48.149
to stop wearing
that organic de...

1572
00:59:48.149 --> 00:59:50.108
Holy shit, Mom!

1573
00:59:50.108 --> 00:59:51.675
Oh.

1574
00:59:51.675 --> 00:59:53.198
Why do you have
the exact same
haircut as Salvo?

1575
00:59:53.198 --> 00:59:55.287
- That's it.
- Oh, my God.

1576
00:59:55.287 --> 00:59:56.418
- I don't think so.
You
guys look like

1577
00:59:56.418 --> 00:59:57.898
those weird
boy-girl twins

1578
00:59:57.898 --> 00:59:59.030
that, like,
just dress
the same.

1579
00:59:59.030 --> 01:00:00.814
Salvo, how could
you do this to me?

1580
01:00:00.814 --> 01:00:03.121
Wait, wait, wait.
First of all,
I didn't realize

1581
01:00:03.121 --> 01:00:04.513
I was doing anything.

1582
01:00:04.513 --> 01:00:06.951
I mean, to me,
you look powerful, gorgeous.

1583
01:00:06.951 --> 01:00:10.215
You look,
dare I even
say it, sexy.

1584
01:00:10.215 --> 01:00:11.303
Well, I am
supposed to go

1585
01:00:11.303 --> 01:00:12.870
on TV
in 10 minutes,

1586
01:00:12.870 --> 01:00:16.047
and you have made me look
like a bitter old Italian man!

1587
01:00:16.961 --> 01:00:18.876
Everybody,
please, get out.

1588
01:00:18.876 --> 01:00:20.965
Go, go, go,
go, go. Sweetheart.

1589
01:00:20.965 --> 01:00:23.228
Mommy,
maybe you...
Get out!

1590
01:00:23.228 --> 01:00:25.099
<i>With all due
respect, Chris,</i>

1591
01:00:25.099 --> 01:00:28.407
<i>the existing policy
has been working
for two decades.</i>

1592
01:00:28.407 --> 01:00:30.452
<i>Why change now?</i>

1593
01:00:30.452 --> 01:00:32.019
Ah, she's kicking ass.

1594
01:00:32.019 --> 01:00:33.630
She's pretty much
talking about you.

1595
01:00:33.630 --> 01:00:35.196
Oh, stop being so dramatic.

1596
01:00:35.196 --> 01:00:37.546
<i>You don't
just make
major decisions</i>

1597
01:00:37.546 --> 01:00:39.723
based on instincts.

1598
01:00:39.723 --> 01:00:41.072
You've gotta listen

1599
01:00:41.072 --> 01:00:42.421
to the people
you're servicing,

1600
01:00:42.421 --> 01:00:45.206
or someone's
gonna end
up dead.

1601
01:00:45.206 --> 01:00:46.860
<i>All right.</i>
Yeah. Well, okay.

1602
01:00:46.860 --> 01:00:48.079
Maybe you got a point.
<i>Uh,
Senator MacArthur,</i>

1603
01:00:48.079 --> 01:00:49.863
I'm actually...
I'm very sorry...

1604
01:00:49.863 --> 01:00:52.126
Sorry to cut
you short.
"Cut me short"?

1605
01:00:52.126 --> 01:00:54.085
Did you say
"cut me short"?

1606
01:00:54.085 --> 01:00:57.175
Is that some kind
of sick joke,
Chris, huh?

1607
01:00:58.263 --> 01:00:59.873
Uh, as you can see,

1608
01:00:59.873 --> 01:01:01.527
uh, very
strong feelings,

1609
01:01:01.527 --> 01:01:03.616
uh, coming out of this story.

1610
01:01:03.616 --> 01:01:05.966
We're gonna continue to follow
its developments for you.

1611
01:01:05.966 --> 01:01:08.229
Listen, when this is all over,
you better apologize.

1612
01:01:08.229 --> 01:01:09.666
Apologize?
For what?

1613
01:01:09.666 --> 01:01:11.102
For what?
She wanted
a touch up.

1614
01:01:11.102 --> 01:01:12.364
You made her look
like David Bowie.

1615
01:01:12.364 --> 01:01:14.235
What? Are you
kidding me?
I gave her a 'do

1616
01:01:14.235 --> 01:01:15.715
that was very
age appropriate

1617
01:01:15.715 --> 01:01:18.326
and dignified.
She should
be thanking me.

1618
01:01:18.326 --> 01:01:19.806
I wouldn't hold
my breath, Salvo.

1619
01:01:19.806 --> 01:01:21.112
Oh, is she really pissed off?

1620
01:01:21.547 --> 01:01:22.853
When I left,

1621
01:01:22.853 --> 01:01:24.768
she was googling
homemade poisons.

1622
01:01:24.768 --> 01:01:26.378
I don't know
if it was for Salvo
or for herself.

1623
01:01:26.378 --> 01:01:28.032
- Oh.
- I don't get it.

1624
01:01:28.032 --> 01:01:30.469
Most women would be honored
to have their hair done

1625
01:01:30.469 --> 01:01:33.733
by East Chicago's three-time
Hair Stylist of the Year.

1626
01:01:33.733 --> 01:01:35.387
That was in the 80's.

1627
01:01:35.387 --> 01:01:37.258
The 80's. So what?
That's the golden age
of hair.

1628
01:01:41.045 --> 01:01:42.960
Hi, Mom.

1629
01:01:42.960 --> 01:01:44.483
Would you go
talk to her?
Say something?

1630
01:01:44.483 --> 01:01:45.614
What am
I going to say?

1631
01:01:45.614 --> 01:01:47.138
Just say something,
all right?

1632
01:01:47.921 --> 01:01:49.270
Hey, uh, Tig.

1633
01:01:49.270 --> 01:01:51.142
Tig? Uh...

1634
01:01:51.142 --> 01:01:53.622
Tigger. Tigger,
I just want

1635
01:01:53.622 --> 01:01:55.233
to say
you looked
so good

1636
01:01:55.233 --> 01:01:56.625
up there
on the box.

1637
01:01:56.625 --> 01:01:58.802
Really, really.
Very, very dignified.

1638
01:01:58.802 --> 01:02:00.107
"On the box?"

1639
01:02:00.107 --> 01:02:03.545
Get on your feet,
and go over there.

1640
01:02:03.545 --> 01:02:05.025
- All right?
- All right.

1641
01:02:05.025 --> 01:02:06.592
Uh, Tig, uh...

1642
01:02:07.332 --> 01:02:08.986
I just wanna...

1643
01:02:10.074 --> 01:02:11.858
tell you I'm sorry

1644
01:02:11.858 --> 01:02:14.861
for giving you
a very high-quality hairdo

1645
01:02:14.861 --> 01:02:16.297
without your permission.

1646
01:02:17.429 --> 01:02:19.344
I heard the word "sorry."

1647
01:02:19.344 --> 01:02:21.302
But then you followed it up

1648
01:02:21.302 --> 01:02:23.870
with a compliment
to yourself.

1649
01:02:23.870 --> 01:02:25.785
Well, if I'm being
honest, I never
gave that style

1650
01:02:25.785 --> 01:02:27.874
to anybody else before.

1651
01:02:27.874 --> 01:02:29.354
So I really think

1652
01:02:29.354 --> 01:02:30.834
your aura commands
the respect

1653
01:02:30.834 --> 01:02:32.661
that I typically
only reserve for myself.

1654
01:02:32.661 --> 01:02:35.795
So I am sorry
that I, you know,

1655
01:02:35.795 --> 01:02:38.015
didn't do exactly
what you asked for.

1656
01:02:38.711 --> 01:02:39.756
Thanks.

1657
01:02:49.461 --> 01:02:50.679
You know?
Hey, you know what?

1658
01:02:50.679 --> 01:02:52.769
Let... Let me make

1659
01:02:52.769 --> 01:02:54.553
an offer. I would
love to make

1660
01:02:54.553 --> 01:02:57.904
a full Italian dinner
for everybody.

1661
01:02:57.904 --> 01:02:59.210
- That sounds so nice.
- How about that?

1662
01:02:59.210 --> 01:03:00.602
And also
as a thank you,

1663
01:03:00.602 --> 01:03:02.300
and with great appreciation,

1664
01:03:02.300 --> 01:03:04.868
for letting us stay
in this beautiful home.

1665
01:03:04.868 --> 01:03:06.434
That won't be necessary.

1666
01:03:06.434 --> 01:03:08.306
We don't keep
a lot of food here

1667
01:03:08.306 --> 01:03:10.787
and the markets are
closed for the holiday.

1668
01:03:10.787 --> 01:03:12.136
Don't worry.

1669
01:03:12.136 --> 01:03:14.007
A Maniscalco
always finds a way

1670
01:03:14.007 --> 01:03:15.443
to feed
his family, right?

1671
01:03:15.443 --> 01:03:17.010
Yep. You got it.

1672
01:03:17.010 --> 01:03:18.620
I think it's
a wonderful idea.

1673
01:03:18.620 --> 01:03:20.492
I mean, if you look
like an Italian man,

1674
01:03:20.492 --> 01:03:22.320
why not eat like one,
huh?

1675
01:03:22.320 --> 01:03:24.148
No, I mean,
if you...
I meant Italian...

1676
01:03:24.148 --> 01:03:25.802
Shut up, Bill.

1677
01:03:25.802 --> 01:03:28.413
I'll be sleeping
on the couch tonight.

1678
01:03:35.289 --> 01:03:36.421
<i>Everybody likes to talk</i>

1679
01:03:36.421 --> 01:03:38.902
<i>about how bad
social media is.</i>

1680
01:03:44.168 --> 01:03:45.343
<i>But in this case,</i>

1681
01:03:45.343 --> 01:03:47.998
<i>it really worked out
for my dad.</i>

1682
01:03:47.998 --> 01:03:50.609
Senator Tigger MacArthur
is going viral today,

1683
01:03:50.609 --> 01:03:53.264
and for the first time,
for all the right reasons.

1684
01:03:53.264 --> 01:03:55.440
<i>This new haircut
is giving me like...</i>

1685
01:03:55.440 --> 01:03:57.224
G.I. Jane two months
out of boot camp.

1686
01:03:57.224 --> 01:03:58.835
<i>It's giving me
gender fluidity.</i>

1687
01:03:58.835 --> 01:04:00.706
It's giving me fresh,
hot, gorgeous.

1688
01:04:00.706 --> 01:04:01.968
Whoever did that haircut,

1689
01:04:03.317 --> 01:04:06.233
America thanks you. Ah!

1690
01:04:06.233 --> 01:04:08.975
<i>Now that
Tigger's approval rating
was through the roof,</i>

1691
01:04:08.975 --> 01:04:11.891
<i>she was happy to let
my dad back under hers.</i>

1692
01:04:11.891 --> 01:04:15.286
So good.
So, this is delicious.

1693
01:04:15.286 --> 01:04:16.940
I can't believe

1694
01:04:16.940 --> 01:04:18.202
that you put
this all together

1695
01:04:18.202 --> 01:04:19.943
from what we have
in the kitchen.

1696
01:04:19.943 --> 01:04:22.162
My guess is he raided
the kitchen over at The Shack.

1697
01:04:22.162 --> 01:04:24.077
So, you might wanna call

1698
01:04:24.077 --> 01:04:26.166
Gloria over there,
see if you got
some inventory.

1699
01:04:26.863 --> 01:04:28.299
Mmm, mmm.

1700
01:04:28.299 --> 01:04:29.822
What do you call
this again, Salvo?

1701
01:04:35.523 --> 01:04:36.829
It is delicious.

1702
01:04:36.829 --> 01:04:38.700
I'm going for seconds.
Don't tell my trainer.

1703
01:04:38.700 --> 01:04:41.486
It's really good.
I just wish you hadn't used
my bowls.

1704
01:04:41.486 --> 01:04:43.618
Well, you know,
I used your bowls, Doug,

1705
01:04:43.618 --> 01:04:46.186
because I wanted
to add a special

1706
01:04:46.186 --> 01:04:49.711
spiritual reverberation
to the meal.

1707
01:04:49.711 --> 01:04:52.018
So, that's why,
- you know?
- Okay.

1708
01:04:52.018 --> 01:04:53.846
- Yeah.
- So, thank you

1709
01:04:53.846 --> 01:04:55.369
for that
- contribution.
- Okay.

1710
01:04:55.369 --> 01:04:57.458
Salvo, it's delicious.
Delicious.

1711
01:04:57.458 --> 01:04:59.199
Listen, given everything
you're doing for my son,

1712
01:04:59.199 --> 01:05:00.809
this is the least
I can do. Oh.

1713
01:05:00.809 --> 01:05:03.638
And I just wanna
say something that

1714
01:05:04.422 --> 01:05:05.771
my father used to say.

1715
01:05:09.731 --> 01:05:10.994
The translation is,

1716
01:05:10.994 --> 01:05:12.996
"The family isn't
just one important thing,

1717
01:05:12.996 --> 01:05:14.780
"it's everything."

1718
01:05:14.780 --> 01:05:16.913
And I like
to toast to that.
Lovely.

1719
01:05:16.913 --> 01:05:18.827
<i>Salud!</i>
<i>Salud!</i>

1720
01:05:18.827 --> 01:05:20.917
To everything. <i>Salud.</i>

1721
01:05:20.917 --> 01:05:22.527
- Cheers, everybody.
Well said.

1722
01:05:22.527 --> 01:05:23.832
Watch it, watch it.

1723
01:05:23.832 --> 01:05:25.312
Oh, collision!

1724
01:05:25.312 --> 01:05:27.010
Cut him off.
- Time for some
more vino, huh?

1725
01:05:27.010 --> 01:05:29.055
Oh, yes.
- When in Rome.

1726
01:05:29.055 --> 01:05:30.143
Because,
you know,

1727
01:05:30.143 --> 01:05:31.362
you guys
are Italian.

1728
01:05:33.799 --> 01:05:36.367
You got a problem
- with Italians, Bill?
- Yeah, Bill.

1729
01:05:41.546 --> 01:05:44.244
Who got you?
Come on, Bill!

1730
01:05:44.244 --> 01:05:45.985
I thought he was
serious.

1731
01:05:57.170 --> 01:05:58.955
What's this?

1732
01:05:58.955 --> 01:06:00.260
You know, just...

1733
01:06:00.260 --> 01:06:01.870
...the sexiest way
I can think of

1734
01:06:01.870 --> 01:06:03.133
to say thank you.

1735
01:06:03.133 --> 01:06:04.351
Here? Are you
kidding me?

1736
01:06:04.351 --> 01:06:05.831
They're in
the next room.

1737
01:06:05.831 --> 01:06:07.876
You know
I'm a screamer.
I know.

1738
01:06:07.876 --> 01:06:09.052
Just come
over here.

1739
01:06:12.055 --> 01:06:14.405
Oh! Oh, yeah.

1740
01:06:20.063 --> 01:06:21.586
Hmm?

1741
01:06:23.892 --> 01:06:25.459
What, baby? What?
- Oh, we got
to go inside.

1742
01:06:25.459 --> 01:06:27.809
- I'm getting eaten alive.
- What? What are
you talking about?

1743
01:06:27.809 --> 01:06:28.985
- I saw a raccoon.
- Is that a safe word?

1744
01:06:28.985 --> 01:06:29.942
There's raccoons everywhere.
Raccoon?

1745
01:06:29.942 --> 01:06:31.726
- Yeah.
- Where? What raccoon?

1746
01:06:31.726 --> 01:06:33.685
There's
- some wildlife.
- Honey, there's no raccoons.

1747
01:06:33.685 --> 01:06:35.208
Mmm.

1748
01:06:35.208 --> 01:06:37.776
<i>Seeing
my future in-laws eat</i>

1749
01:06:37.776 --> 01:06:41.519
<i>their family pet is
is as close to an acid trip</i>

1750
01:06:41.519 --> 01:06:43.260
<i>as I ever wanna be.</i>

1751
01:06:43.260 --> 01:06:44.826
Here comes the airplane.

1752
01:06:46.567 --> 01:06:48.482
Ah, no!

1753
01:06:48.482 --> 01:06:51.050
This Italian food's
going to my head.

1754
01:06:59.711 --> 01:07:03.758
<i>This was proof
the man was diabolical.</i>

1755
01:07:03.758 --> 01:07:05.717
I murdered Sergeant Feathers.

1756
01:07:12.419 --> 01:07:14.639
I can't believe

1757
01:07:14.639 --> 01:07:15.770
you fed 'em
a peacock.

1758
01:07:15.770 --> 01:07:17.424
How could
you do this?
Easy.

1759
01:07:17.424 --> 01:07:19.687
My recipe called for chicken.
All the stores were closed.

1760
01:07:19.687 --> 01:07:21.863
So what does a great chef do?
He improvises.

1761
01:07:21.863 --> 01:07:23.648
By murdering
their beloved mascot?

1762
01:07:23.648 --> 01:07:25.867
They still got
three left. Are
you kidding me?

1763
01:07:25.867 --> 01:07:27.391
Where we come from,
it's called,

1764
01:07:27.391 --> 01:07:28.740
"You gotta do what you gotta
do to feed the family."

1765
01:07:28.740 --> 01:07:30.524
It's called
the peasant mentality.

1766
01:07:30.524 --> 01:07:31.743
Look around, Dad.

1767
01:07:31.743 --> 01:07:32.787
These people
aren't peasants.

1768
01:07:32.787 --> 01:07:34.006
And you thought
I was crazy

1769
01:07:34.006 --> 01:07:35.312
for worrying
that you were gonna

1770
01:07:35.312 --> 01:07:37.923
make us look like
some bad Italian stereotype?

1771
01:07:37.923 --> 01:07:39.794
Come on. You know
I'm not doing that.

1772
01:07:39.794 --> 01:07:41.535
Are you blind? Look at...

1773
01:07:41.535 --> 01:07:43.015
We are
in the woods

1774
01:07:43.015 --> 01:07:44.408
in the middle
of the night

1775
01:07:44.408 --> 01:07:46.888
trying to get rid
of a freakin' body.

1776
01:07:46.888 --> 01:07:48.020
That's right.

1777
01:07:48.020 --> 01:07:49.804
To help me get
rid of the evidence.

1778
01:07:49.804 --> 01:07:51.589
Why does it seem like
you've done this before?

1779
01:07:54.331 --> 01:07:55.593
- Stupid bird!
- It's dead!

1780
01:07:55.593 --> 01:07:56.768
What are
you doing?

1781
01:07:56.768 --> 01:07:58.117
Look at
its feathers.

1782
01:08:04.950 --> 01:08:06.038
Night cologne?

1783
01:08:16.222 --> 01:08:18.442
Listen, son,

1784
01:08:18.442 --> 01:08:21.271
I was just trying
to help you win
this family over

1785
01:08:21.271 --> 01:08:23.751
by making
a good meal,
that's all.

1786
01:08:23.751 --> 01:08:25.057
Well, if this is
your idea of help,

1787
01:08:25.057 --> 01:08:26.276
I think I'm good, Dad.

1788
01:08:26.754 --> 01:08:28.756
Jesus.

1789
01:08:28.756 --> 01:08:29.888
Why do I feel
like you're trying

1790
01:08:29.888 --> 01:08:31.368
to wreck this
for me?
Wreck it?

1791
01:08:31.368 --> 01:08:33.544
I'm just making an effort
like you asked me to do.

1792
01:08:33.544 --> 01:08:34.806
Well, it turns out
the only thing worse

1793
01:08:34.806 --> 01:08:37.417
than you not trying
is you trying.

1794
01:08:37.417 --> 01:08:39.680
Well, maybe to you,
but to me, these people,

1795
01:08:39.680 --> 01:08:41.334
they seem
to like me.
Like you?

1796
01:08:41.334 --> 01:08:43.684
If I told these people
the truth about what happened,

1797
01:08:43.684 --> 01:08:44.903
they'd never
have us back here.

1798
01:08:48.820 --> 01:08:51.649
You know, why did
I let Ellie convince me
to bring you here?

1799
01:08:51.649 --> 01:08:53.085
What do you mean,
"bring me here"?

1800
01:08:53.085 --> 01:08:54.695
You're the one
who invited me,
didn't you?

1801
01:08:54.695 --> 01:08:57.002
Yeah, I invited you
to get grandma's ring.

1802
01:08:57.002 --> 01:08:59.396
I didn't know you were
gonna spend the whole time
sabotaging me.

1803
01:08:59.396 --> 01:09:01.006
What are you
talking about,
"sabotaging"?

1804
01:09:01.006 --> 01:09:02.442
How could you say that?

1805
01:09:02.442 --> 01:09:03.965
Everything I'm
doing for you,

1806
01:09:03.965 --> 01:09:06.229
that I've ever done
for you is for
your own good,

1807
01:09:06.229 --> 01:09:07.839
to give you
a better life.

1808
01:09:07.839 --> 01:09:09.667
You love to say that,
but now that
I'm gonna get it,

1809
01:09:09.667 --> 01:09:11.277
it's like you're
trying to stop it.

1810
01:09:11.277 --> 01:09:13.105
Trying to
stop what?

1811
01:09:13.105 --> 01:09:14.541
I'm trying to make sure
that you don't make
an ass out of yourself

1812
01:09:14.541 --> 01:09:16.021
by trying to be
somebody you're not.

1813
01:09:16.021 --> 01:09:17.196
You're your own person.

1814
01:09:17.196 --> 01:09:18.719
You're your own man.
Be your own man.

1815
01:09:18.719 --> 01:09:20.591
Otherwise,
it's embarrassing.

1816
01:09:20.591 --> 01:09:22.070
Oh, man.
You know what?

1817
01:09:22.070 --> 01:09:24.029
This is your problem.
You're so focused

1818
01:09:24.029 --> 01:09:26.423
on other people
being embarrassed,

1819
01:09:26.423 --> 01:09:29.382
you can't see who
the most embarrassing
person is.

1820
01:09:29.382 --> 01:09:30.514
It's you.

1821
01:09:32.124 --> 01:09:34.126
That's really
what you think?

1822
01:09:38.043 --> 01:09:39.740
Let's just go
to sleep,
all right?

1823
01:10:15.733 --> 01:10:18.823
<i>The next morning,
it was the 4th of July,</i>

1824
01:10:18.823 --> 01:10:20.172
<i>which made sense,
'cause I was</i>

1825
01:10:20.172 --> 01:10:22.914
<i>finally getting
my independence.</i>

1826
01:10:22.914 --> 01:10:25.395
<i>It was an amazing feeling.</i>

1827
01:10:25.395 --> 01:10:28.006
<i>But much like
my signature scent,</i>

1828
01:10:28.006 --> 01:10:29.529
<i>it was a little bittersweet.</i>

1829
01:10:31.575 --> 01:10:33.751
<i>But this was
the beginning of my new life.</i>

1830
01:10:34.708 --> 01:10:37.015
<i>And now that I had the ring,</i>

1831
01:10:37.015 --> 01:10:38.712
<i>it was time to make my move.</i>

1832
01:10:44.892 --> 01:10:46.459
I've given this
a lot of thought

1833
01:10:46.459 --> 01:10:48.113
over the last
few days,

1834
01:10:48.113 --> 01:10:50.376
and on top
of accepting

1835
01:10:50.376 --> 01:10:52.509
your very generous offer

1836
01:10:52.509 --> 01:10:55.207
to run the Barrymore Hotel,

1837
01:10:55.207 --> 01:10:58.210
I would also like
to ask your permission

1838
01:10:58.210 --> 01:11:00.343
to propose to Ellie.

1839
01:11:02.649 --> 01:11:04.085
Oh.

1840
01:11:04.085 --> 01:11:06.087
Ah, that doesn't...

1841
01:11:07.263 --> 01:11:08.655
I...

1842
01:11:11.005 --> 01:11:13.007
We're kidding!

1843
01:11:14.835 --> 01:11:16.663
- We got him.
- Ho! You
should've seen

1844
01:11:16.663 --> 01:11:19.492
the look
on your face. Priceless.

1845
01:11:19.492 --> 01:11:21.233
Our answer is
an emphatic...

1846
01:11:21.233 --> 01:11:23.104
Yes!
- Oh, God.

1847
01:11:23.104 --> 01:11:25.803
Gee, Sebastian,
we just love you.

1848
01:11:25.803 --> 01:11:27.370
And we just...
We cannot

1849
01:11:27.370 --> 01:11:29.067
wait for you
and Ellie

1850
01:11:29.067 --> 01:11:30.764
to join the party
in D.C.

1851
01:11:30.764 --> 01:11:33.201
Yes.
And this is perfect.

1852
01:11:33.201 --> 01:11:36.204
We're doing our family
Christmas card photo today.

1853
01:11:36.204 --> 01:11:38.598
You can propose there,
and then be in it!

1854
01:11:38.598 --> 01:11:41.688
Oh, thank God.
I was so nervous

1855
01:11:41.688 --> 01:11:43.908
how you guys would react
to this, you know?

1856
01:11:43.908 --> 01:11:46.302
Especially, what's happened
this weekend with my father.

1857
01:11:46.302 --> 01:11:49.305
No. That dinner
was wonderful.

1858
01:11:52.612 --> 01:11:54.527
-  Yeah.
- Fantastic. Memorable.

1859
01:11:54.527 --> 01:11:56.268
Chicken <i>al cavone.</i>

1860
01:11:56.268 --> 01:11:58.357
Fantastic.

1861
01:11:58.357 --> 01:11:59.489
- Never had it.
Terrific.

1862
01:11:59.489 --> 01:12:00.925
Yes.
- Don't know what's in it.

1863
01:12:02.448 --> 01:12:04.145
What the hell kind
of elf are you
supposed to be?

1864
01:12:04.145 --> 01:12:07.235
I'm representing
all the holiday traditions.

1865
01:12:07.235 --> 01:12:08.759
Nice.

1866
01:12:08.759 --> 01:12:10.195
You're as plump
as a little partridge.

1867
01:12:10.195 --> 01:12:12.632
Yes.

1868
01:12:12.632 --> 01:12:14.330
Oh, oh.

1869
01:12:14.330 --> 01:12:15.679
Hey, you fit
right in.

1870
01:12:15.679 --> 01:12:17.028
Uh, I don't know.

1871
01:12:17.028 --> 01:12:18.377
Can I propose first

1872
01:12:18.377 --> 01:12:19.944
and then put on
the tree costume?

1873
01:12:21.162 --> 01:12:22.642
What's
- the difference?
- Oh, E... Ellie.

1874
01:12:22.642 --> 01:12:24.601
Ellie, where's
your costume?
We... We can't

1875
01:12:24.601 --> 01:12:25.819
do this without
our reindeer.

1876
01:12:25.819 --> 01:12:27.386
I'm sorry, but I'm
not gonna be taking

1877
01:12:27.386 --> 01:12:29.257
the photo this year,
because I no longer

1878
01:12:29.257 --> 01:12:30.476
wanna be a part
of this family.

1879
01:12:30.476 --> 01:12:33.000
Also, Sebastian
isn't taking the job,

1880
01:12:33.000 --> 01:12:34.828
we are not
moving to D.C.

1881
01:12:34.828 --> 01:12:36.221
and we're not gonna
spend any more time

1882
01:12:36.221 --> 01:12:37.918
with these manipulators.
So, let's go.

1883
01:12:37.918 --> 01:12:39.790
- What happened?
- What's happened?

1884
01:12:39.790 --> 01:12:42.488
Dad, what do all
of your hotels
have in common?

1885
01:12:42.488 --> 01:12:44.925
Five-star experience
at a three-star price.

1886
01:12:44.925 --> 01:12:48.059
No. The answer is

1887
01:12:48.059 --> 01:12:49.713
their lobby art.

1888
01:12:49.713 --> 01:12:50.844
- Oh.
- Shall we start

1889
01:12:50.844 --> 01:12:52.280
with the Barrymore
Hotel?
Uh-oh.

1890
01:12:52.280 --> 01:12:53.978
- Shall we? Come on.
- No, I don't
need to see...

1891
01:12:53.978 --> 01:12:56.372
Oh, look.
Do you notice
anything familiar

1892
01:12:56.372 --> 01:12:57.808
- about the walls?
- Well, no.

1893
01:12:57.808 --> 01:12:59.592
That's
my painting,
isn't it?

1894
01:12:59.592 --> 01:13:01.333
Well,
what's that?
My painting.

1895
01:13:01.333 --> 01:13:02.595
My painting.

1896
01:13:02.595 --> 01:13:04.728
Oh, yeah,
my painting.
All right.

1897
01:13:04.728 --> 01:13:07.078
It was
your dad's idea!

1898
01:13:07.078 --> 01:13:08.471
- Wait. Just wait.
- It was
your dad's idea.

1899
01:13:08.471 --> 01:13:10.081
No. One second here.
It was him.

1900
01:13:10.081 --> 01:13:11.604
I just wanna know
how you found out.

1901
01:13:11.604 --> 01:13:13.171
Sebastian,
did you tell her?

1902
01:13:14.955 --> 01:13:15.956
What?

1903
01:13:16.740 --> 01:13:18.176
You knew
about this?

1904
01:13:19.656 --> 01:13:22.920
Well, no,
I kind of saw...

1905
01:13:22.920 --> 01:13:25.313
I can't believe that
you all did this to me.

1906
01:13:25.313 --> 01:13:27.228
Ellie, we can explain.

1907
01:13:27.228 --> 01:13:28.621
- We can explain.
- No, Mom!

1908
01:13:28.621 --> 01:13:31.450
This whole time
I thought I was
selling my art

1909
01:13:31.450 --> 01:13:33.409
to this cool new designer,

1910
01:13:33.409 --> 01:13:35.585
when really
my parents
just hired them

1911
01:13:35.585 --> 01:13:36.673
to buy my work.

1912
01:13:36.673 --> 01:13:37.891
No, no, no, darling.

1913
01:13:37.891 --> 01:13:39.240
No, that's
not... No.

1914
01:13:39.240 --> 01:13:41.808
Yes. Yes, that is
technically true.

1915
01:13:41.808 --> 01:13:44.115
I thought
I was killing it
in the art world!

1916
01:13:44.115 --> 01:13:46.030
We just wanted you
to get a jump-start

1917
01:13:46.030 --> 01:13:47.858
in a really,
really rough business.

1918
01:13:47.858 --> 01:13:49.294
It's so terrible
out there.
You know how rough it is.

1919
01:13:49.294 --> 01:13:50.687
It's what you
always do.
You're always...

1920
01:13:50.687 --> 01:13:51.992
You're just stealing
our lessons.

1921
01:13:51.992 --> 01:13:54.430
You bribe our way
onto sports teams,

1922
01:13:54.430 --> 01:13:56.214
you rewrite
our college essays,

1923
01:13:56.214 --> 01:13:58.129
you hire famous rappers

1924
01:13:58.129 --> 01:13:59.652
to emcee
our birthday parties.

1925
01:13:59.652 --> 01:14:01.175
That was also
- not my idea.
- Okay. So what?

1926
01:14:01.175 --> 01:14:02.525
Now you don't
like Warren G?

1927
01:14:02.525 --> 01:14:03.874
Look, you guys are
great parents.

1928
01:14:03.874 --> 01:14:06.006
Don't let her guilt you
into changing your ways.

1929
01:14:06.006 --> 01:14:07.921
All I have ever wanted
was to feel like

1930
01:14:07.921 --> 01:14:10.271
I was accomplishing
things on my own.

1931
01:14:12.186 --> 01:14:13.666
And I can't believe
that you just didn't

1932
01:14:13.666 --> 01:14:14.798
say something to me.

1933
01:14:16.887 --> 01:14:18.715
Sweetheart, we, um...

1934
01:14:18.715 --> 01:14:21.413
Oh, my gosh.
I told you.
Well, yeah.

1935
01:14:26.287 --> 01:14:27.898
<i>I'd been
so focused on trying</i>

1936
01:14:27.898 --> 01:14:29.943
<i>to please Ellie's family,</i>

1937
01:14:29.943 --> 01:14:32.685
<i>that I lost sight
of what I came here to do.</i>

1938
01:14:32.685 --> 01:14:35.819
<i>I had to find Ellie
and make this right.</i>

1939
01:14:35.819 --> 01:14:38.430
<i>And I knew exactly
where she'd be.</i>

1940
01:14:38.430 --> 01:14:39.823
Permission
to approach?

1941
01:14:59.190 --> 01:15:00.757
Place could use
a remodel, huh?

1942
01:15:06.371 --> 01:15:08.199
I'm sorry.

1943
01:15:08.199 --> 01:15:09.592
I should've said something.

1944
01:15:10.506 --> 01:15:11.855
Yeah, you should have.

1945
01:15:13.900 --> 01:15:16.381
Is there anything I could do
to make it up to you?

1946
01:15:16.381 --> 01:15:19.732
Just being in this family

1947
01:15:19.732 --> 01:15:21.995
is like bowling
with bumpers.

1948
01:15:21.995 --> 01:15:23.344
It's like,

1949
01:15:23.344 --> 01:15:25.608
no matter what I try to do,

1950
01:15:25.608 --> 01:15:27.174
they're always
setting up rails

1951
01:15:27.174 --> 01:15:28.524
to make sure that I win.

1952
01:15:28.524 --> 01:15:31.396
And sometimes,
I just want to free bowl,

1953
01:15:31.396 --> 01:15:32.702
because then,
that way

1954
01:15:32.702 --> 01:15:36.401
if I bowl a strike,
then that's my strike.

1955
01:15:36.401 --> 01:15:38.446
But if I gutter it,
then that's on me too.

1956
01:15:38.446 --> 01:15:39.796
I understand.

1957
01:15:39.796 --> 01:15:42.102
You want to work hard
for your own success.

1958
01:15:42.102 --> 01:15:43.713
Yes.

1959
01:15:43.713 --> 01:15:46.063
Do you remember
when you told me
the story

1960
01:15:46.063 --> 01:15:48.239
about how Salvo taught
you how to swim?

1961
01:15:48.239 --> 01:15:50.850
He dropped me in the middle
of Lake Michigan in November.

1962
01:15:52.852 --> 01:15:54.985
Listen, I know
he's a pain in the ass,

1963
01:15:56.595 --> 01:15:59.598
but he also raised you
to be tough and resourceful.

1964
01:15:59.598 --> 01:16:02.427
And those are two things
I really love about you.

1965
01:16:04.211 --> 01:16:05.735
And I kind of wish
that my parents had

1966
01:16:05.735 --> 01:16:07.258
raised me more like that.

1967
01:16:08.781 --> 01:16:10.087
<i>And that was the moment</i>

1968
01:16:10.087 --> 01:16:13.569
<i>everything finally started
to make sense.</i>

1969
01:16:13.569 --> 01:16:15.701
<i>Here I was,
planning to propose</i>

1970
01:16:15.701 --> 01:16:18.312
<i>to the girl of my dreams,</i>

1971
01:16:18.312 --> 01:16:22.621
<i>and I was gonna do it
without the man who raised me?</i>

1972
01:16:22.621 --> 01:16:25.493
<i>I realized
I had everything I wanted,</i>

1973
01:16:25.493 --> 01:16:27.452
<i>but not what I needed.</i>

1974
01:16:27.452 --> 01:16:28.627
I gotta go
do something first.

1975
01:16:30.194 --> 01:16:31.282
What? What?

1976
01:16:31.282 --> 01:16:32.979
Trust me.
Meet me
at dinner.

1977
01:16:35.547 --> 01:16:37.070
How's he doing
back there?

1978
01:16:40.160 --> 01:16:42.032
Keep going,
- bro, I'm fine.
Okay.

1979
01:16:45.252 --> 01:16:47.428
There it is. That's it.

1980
01:16:47.428 --> 01:16:49.039
I got you, <i>mi hermano.</i>

1981
01:16:50.606 --> 01:16:51.737
You go get him.

1982
01:16:54.479 --> 01:16:56.829
Hey, stop!
You can't be out here!

1983
01:16:56.829 --> 01:17:00.050
Sir, you have
to get off the tarmac! Sir!

1984
01:17:00.050 --> 01:17:01.486
Stop the plane.

1985
01:17:15.587 --> 01:17:16.632
Son...

1986
01:17:18.198 --> 01:17:19.635
what are you doing?

1987
01:17:19.635 --> 01:17:21.375
You look like
you swam here.

1988
01:17:21.375 --> 01:17:23.073
I came here
to tell you

1989
01:17:23.073 --> 01:17:24.640
that you're
stubborn,
you're cheap,

1990
01:17:25.292 --> 01:17:26.990
you're obnoxious,

1991
01:17:26.990 --> 01:17:28.339
you're severely judgmental...

1992
01:17:28.339 --> 01:17:29.427
Wait, wait.
This is what

1993
01:17:29.427 --> 01:17:30.646
I'm getting off
the plane for?

1994
01:17:30.646 --> 01:17:32.256
Dad, but the truth is

1995
01:17:32.256 --> 01:17:35.563
all those quirks are
part of what makes you
the greatest dad

1996
01:17:35.563 --> 01:17:36.913
that I could
ever hope for.

1997
01:17:38.436 --> 01:17:40.264
Okay. Now
I'm listening.

1998
01:17:40.264 --> 01:17:42.222
Now, it ain't
always easy
being your son,

1999
01:17:42.222 --> 01:17:45.704
but the way you raised me
made me the man I am today.

2000
01:17:45.704 --> 01:17:48.315
The same man,
for whatever the reason,

2001
01:17:48.315 --> 01:17:50.056
Ellie seems to love.

2002
01:17:50.056 --> 01:17:52.363
Could never figure
that one out, either,
but you know...

2003
01:17:52.363 --> 01:17:53.451
You got your
grandmother's ring.

2004
01:17:53.451 --> 01:17:54.670
What else
you need
from me?

2005
01:17:54.670 --> 01:17:57.150
I need you to be part
of our lives, Dad.

2006
01:17:57.150 --> 01:17:58.499
But you said
I was embarrassing.

2007
01:17:58.499 --> 01:17:59.979
You are.

2008
01:17:59.979 --> 01:18:01.633
You haven't
changed one bit
since I was a kid.

2009
01:18:01.633 --> 01:18:03.635
You know who did?
I changed.

2010
01:18:03.635 --> 01:18:05.376
And I think somewhere
along the way,

2011
01:18:06.159 --> 01:18:07.421
I forgot.

2012
01:18:08.553 --> 01:18:10.207
You're my hero, man.

2013
01:18:12.078 --> 01:18:15.038
- Stop.
- No. You are.

2014
01:18:15.038 --> 01:18:16.779
All the stuff
you sacrifice.

2015
01:18:16.779 --> 01:18:19.216
Everything that's
good in my life,
I owe it to you.

2016
01:18:20.130 --> 01:18:21.958
No. It's... it's...

2017
01:18:21.958 --> 01:18:24.743
It's that good things
happen to good kids.

2018
01:18:24.743 --> 01:18:26.310
You're a good boy.

2019
01:18:26.310 --> 01:18:28.747
It's just that
I've been acting
crazier lately,

2020
01:18:28.747 --> 01:18:30.749
because... I... I...

2021
01:18:30.749 --> 01:18:33.796
I was so poor,
for me to give you
a better life,

2022
01:18:33.796 --> 01:18:35.275
and now that
you're going to have it,

2023
01:18:35.275 --> 01:18:38.104
and I'm afraid that
once you marry Ellie,

2024
01:18:38.104 --> 01:18:40.367
I'm gonna lose
the only family I got.

2025
01:18:40.367 --> 01:18:41.978
Oh, Dad, you're
not gonna lose me.
Don't worry.

2026
01:18:41.978 --> 01:18:43.631
Stop... don't cry, Dad.

2027
01:18:43.631 --> 01:18:45.372
You're going
to make me cry.
Well, I can't help it.

2028
01:18:46.199 --> 01:18:47.984
I love you, man.

2029
01:18:47.984 --> 01:18:49.246
- I love you, Dad.
- I love you too, kid.

2030
01:18:49.246 --> 01:18:50.421
Love you.

2031
01:18:58.081 --> 01:18:59.996
Are you crying?

2032
01:18:59.996 --> 01:19:01.214
- What?
- Are you crying?

2033
01:19:01.214 --> 01:19:02.650
Hell, no.

2034
01:19:02.650 --> 01:19:05.088
I never cry!

2035
01:19:15.751 --> 01:19:16.839
Wow!

2036
01:19:18.188 --> 01:19:20.103
I don't know
why I was
so scared.

2037
01:19:21.582 --> 01:19:23.541
This is really beautiful.
Yeah.

2038
01:19:24.977 --> 01:19:26.283
Oh, my God!
We're going down!

2039
01:19:26.283 --> 01:19:27.719
- Oh, my God!
- I'm just kidding.

2040
01:19:27.719 --> 01:19:29.677
I'm going
to kill you, Luck!

2041
01:19:35.248 --> 01:19:36.684
<i>Ladies
and gentlemen, welcome</i>

2042
01:19:36.684 --> 01:19:38.861
<i>to this year's
4th of July clambake.</i>

2043
01:19:38.861 --> 01:19:40.645
Well, so far,

2044
01:19:40.645 --> 01:19:42.778
a very
pleasant evening.

2045
01:19:42.778 --> 01:19:45.084
Mmm-hmm.
- Thank you,
my darling.

2046
01:19:45.084 --> 01:19:46.564
Such a treat.

2047
01:19:46.564 --> 01:19:49.262
Hats off to that
new chef, huh?

2048
01:19:49.262 --> 01:19:52.048
Outstanding.
Of course, you can't
go wrong with lobster.

2049
01:19:52.048 --> 01:19:53.223
Oh, sweetie,

2050
01:19:53.223 --> 01:19:55.094
did you lose
your appetite?

2051
01:19:55.094 --> 01:19:56.095
Do you wanna
buy me one?

2052
01:19:58.706 --> 01:20:00.186
<i>All right,
ladies and gentlemen.</i>

2053
01:20:00.186 --> 01:20:02.232
<i>I hope you brought
your dancing shoes tonight...</i>

2054
01:20:02.232 --> 01:20:03.668
<i>Because...</i>

2055
01:20:03.668 --> 01:20:05.975
<i>Thank you, Mr. Woodrow.
Because we've got a real treat</i>

2056
01:20:05.975 --> 01:20:07.585
<i>for you guys tonight.</i>

2057
01:20:07.585 --> 01:20:10.370
<i>Please welcome, all the way
from Chicago, Illinois,</i>

2058
01:20:10.370 --> 01:20:12.938
<i>Sebastian Maniscalco.</i>

2059
01:20:16.899 --> 01:20:19.597
<i>Ellie Collins,
you asked for this.</i>

2060
01:20:19.597 --> 01:20:21.512
I wonder what
this is about.
I don't know.

2061
01:20:26.082 --> 01:20:27.953
<i>Eleanor Mallory Collins.</i>

2062
01:20:27.953 --> 01:20:29.259
What are you doing?

2063
01:20:30.956 --> 01:20:32.523
<i>Exactly what
I came here to do.</i>

2064
01:20:34.786 --> 01:20:35.961
<i>Now, my father
said something</i>

2065
01:20:35.961 --> 01:20:38.007
<i>really profound
this weekend.</i>

2066
01:20:38.007 --> 01:20:40.705
<i>It's an old
Italian saying,</i>

2067
01:20:42.185 --> 01:20:45.231
<i>"Family isn't
one important thing,</i>

2068
01:20:47.059 --> 01:20:48.147
<i>"it's everything."</i>

2069
01:20:50.106 --> 01:20:52.195
<i>Now, yeah, they could
be embarrassing.</i>

2070
01:20:53.152 --> 01:20:54.327
<i>Smothering.</i>

2071
01:20:54.327 --> 01:20:56.112
<i>Sometimes maybe
express their love</i>

2072
01:20:56.112 --> 01:20:58.723
<i>in ways
that are pretty...</i>
Messed up.

2073
01:20:58.723 --> 01:21:00.159
<i>Exactly.</i>
Yeah.

2074
01:21:01.900 --> 01:21:04.511
<i>But at the end
of the day they're...</i>

2075
01:21:04.511 --> 01:21:06.862
<i>they're just trying to do
what's best for us.</i>

2076
01:21:08.167 --> 01:21:09.603
<i>Because they love us.</i>

2077
01:21:12.476 --> 01:21:14.086
<i>Now here,
in this moment,</i>

2078
01:21:14.086 --> 01:21:16.001
<i>in front
of our families...</i>

2079
01:21:21.050 --> 01:21:22.225
Ellie...

2080
01:21:23.530 --> 01:21:24.836
will you marry me?

2081
01:21:26.925 --> 01:21:28.100
- Yes.
Oh.

2082
01:21:42.375 --> 01:21:44.290
<i>And there
you have it, folks.</i>

2083
01:21:44.290 --> 01:21:47.163
<i>An atypical
American love story</i>

2084
01:21:47.163 --> 01:21:50.688
<i>about a man reconnecting
with his hero,</i>

2085
01:21:50.688 --> 01:21:53.560
<i>and two different brands
of immigrant families</i>

2086
01:21:53.560 --> 01:21:54.953
<i>coming together.</i>

2087
01:22:02.221 --> 01:22:03.701
Sebastian,
are you sure

2088
01:22:03.701 --> 01:22:05.529
you won't
reconsider
our offer?

2089
01:22:05.529 --> 01:22:06.922
No, it's
a generous offer.

2090
01:22:06.922 --> 01:22:08.445
- Yeah.
- But Ellie
and I decided

2091
01:22:08.445 --> 01:22:10.316
to stay in Chicago
for at least
a few more years.

2092
01:22:10.316 --> 01:22:11.578
Oh!
- Yeah.

2093
01:22:11.578 --> 01:22:13.667
I'm not saying
a word. Heartbreaking.

2094
01:22:13.667 --> 01:22:15.800
Dad, I was thinking
since Sea Bass isn't... Yeah.

2095
01:22:15.800 --> 01:22:17.497
gonna take the job,
I thought I could...

2096
01:22:18.237 --> 01:22:19.325
step up.

2097
01:22:20.848 --> 01:22:22.067
No more drugs?

2098
01:22:23.808 --> 01:22:25.679
Prescription?
Mostly mine?

2099
01:22:25.679 --> 01:22:27.116
A dream come true.

2100
01:22:27.116 --> 01:22:29.118
All right.
- Thank you.
- That's my boy, Lucky.

2101
01:22:29.118 --> 01:22:30.728
I'm
running a hotel.

2102
01:22:30.728 --> 01:22:32.425
- Hi.
- Hi, everybody.

2103
01:22:32.425 --> 01:22:34.732
Um, I'd like you to meet
my girlfriend, Michelle.

2104
01:22:34.732 --> 01:22:36.081
- Hello.
- Hi, I'm Ellie.

2105
01:22:36.081 --> 01:22:37.517
Hi.
- She's real.

2106
01:22:38.301 --> 01:22:39.519
That's my sister.

2107
01:22:39.519 --> 01:22:41.391
It's very nice
to meet all of you.

2108
01:22:41.391 --> 01:22:44.524
Did you fly
all the way
from... from...

2109
01:22:44.524 --> 01:22:45.961
Africa....Africa

2110
01:22:45.961 --> 01:22:49.138
...to be
with Doug?

2111
01:22:49.138 --> 01:22:51.923
Oh, well,
I love Doug.

2112
01:22:51.923 --> 01:22:53.011
But I'm
actually here

2113
01:22:53.011 --> 01:22:54.360
on a Fulbright scholarship.

2114
01:22:54.360 --> 01:22:55.579
She's very smart.

2115
01:22:55.579 --> 01:22:56.928
Very nice.

2116
01:22:56.928 --> 01:22:59.670
Well, we're
just so happy

2117
01:22:59.670 --> 01:23:01.237
to meet you. Lovely.

2118
01:23:01.237 --> 01:23:03.413
Yes. You could sit... Mom. Dad.

2119
01:23:03.413 --> 01:23:04.805
- Yes. Yes.
- Where are
we gonna go?

2120
01:23:04.805 --> 01:23:05.893
- Right this way.
- Yeah, we gotta get

2121
01:23:05.893 --> 01:23:08.113
our picture taken.

2122
01:23:11.464 --> 01:23:14.554
Don't say that I never
did nothing for you.

2123
01:23:21.953 --> 01:23:23.302
Ah.
Oh.

2124
01:23:23.302 --> 01:23:25.087
How would
you two feel

2125
01:23:25.087 --> 01:23:27.002
about having
the wedding

2126
01:23:27.002 --> 01:23:28.873
in our chapel
in D.C.?

2127
01:23:28.873 --> 01:23:30.179
D.C.? No.

2128
01:23:30.179 --> 01:23:31.658
Let's have it
in Sicily.

2129
01:23:31.658 --> 01:23:33.269
Oh, Sicily.
- In my grandfather's
garden.

2130
01:23:33.269 --> 01:23:35.053
That's where
you should... I was thinking like Napa,

2131
01:23:35.053 --> 01:23:37.664
because I found this place
that has a big wine glass.

2132
01:23:37.664 --> 01:23:38.926
And you can do
the whole ceremony

2133
01:23:38.926 --> 01:23:40.058
in the wine glass.

2134
01:23:40.058 --> 01:23:42.017
Duke! Duke! No!

2135
01:23:42.017 --> 01:23:43.844
What do you have
in your mouth?

2136
01:23:43.844 --> 01:23:46.151
Duke murdered
a peacock.