1 00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:04,336 (ominous music) 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:22,469 --> 00:00:24,969 (man panting) 5 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,137 (man groans) 6 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:48,573 (creature speaking in the distance) 7 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,180 (tense music) 8 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:05,146 (man screaming) 9 00:01:06,449 --> 00:01:08,729 (blood squelching) (creature laughing) 10 00:01:08,731 --> 00:01:13,710 ♪ It's a beautiful day and I'm feeling happy ♪ 11 00:01:13,712 --> 00:01:16,070 ♪ I'm feeling fine ♪ 12 00:01:16,072 --> 00:01:18,609 ♪ It's a beautiful day ♪ 13 00:01:18,611 --> 00:01:23,230 ♪ Don't waste this sunshine ♪ ♪ It'll be all right ♪ 14 00:01:23,232 --> 00:01:27,739 ♪ It's a beautiful day ♪ ♪ And I'm feeling happy ♪ 15 00:01:27,741 --> 00:01:30,387 ♪ I'm feeling fine ♪ 16 00:01:30,389 --> 00:01:32,838 ♪ It's a beautiful day ♪ 17 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,878 ♪ Don't waste this sunshine ♪ 18 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,859 ♪ It'll be all right ♪ 19 00:01:37,861 --> 00:01:41,425 ♪ Sun is out ♪ 20 00:01:41,427 --> 00:01:44,774 ♪ Days are long ♪ 21 00:01:44,776 --> 00:01:47,846 ♪ Ice-cream in my hand ♪ 22 00:01:47,848 --> 00:01:52,465 ♪ Nothing could be wrong ♪ 23 00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:57,467 ♪ Bright skies hanging over my head ♪ 24 00:01:58,779 --> 00:02:01,745 ♪ Feel the warmth of the sun's rays ♪ 25 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:04,947 ♪ Smiling as she said ♪ 26 00:02:04,949 --> 00:02:07,777 ♪ And I know and I know ♪ 27 00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:12,075 ♪ It'll be all right ♪ 28 00:02:12,077 --> 00:02:14,867 ♪ And I know and I know ♪ 29 00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:19,067 ♪ It'll be all right ♪ 30 00:02:19,069 --> 00:02:23,204 ♪ Because it's a beautiful day and I'm feeling happy ♪ 31 00:02:23,206 --> 00:02:25,198 - [Willy] This is Wacky Willy, the voice of 32 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,418 The Old's Golf Club Radio. 33 00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:28,486 Yes, it's a beautiful day, 34 00:02:28,488 --> 00:02:31,218 but it's gonna be a tee-riffic weekend 35 00:02:31,220 --> 00:02:34,018 at the Complete and Putter Madness Golf Tournament. 36 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,094 No, if, and- 37 00:02:35,096 --> 00:02:37,846 (Landon yelling) 38 00:02:39,717 --> 00:02:42,224 - Turn that off! - What? 39 00:02:42,226 --> 00:02:44,428 - Turn that fucking thing off! 40 00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:45,448 - I can't understand you. 41 00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:47,150 Let me try and cut this thing off. 42 00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,653 - Why doesn't he just move? 43 00:02:50,801 --> 00:02:52,190 - No, stop. 44 00:02:52,192 --> 00:02:53,909 - Sorry about that. 45 00:02:53,911 --> 00:02:56,299 - Turn that fucking thing off. 46 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,951 - Sometimes these old things get stuck. 47 00:02:57,953 --> 00:03:00,290 Usually not a problem, 48 00:03:00,292 --> 00:03:02,881 usually not pointing right in someones face. 49 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,703 - Just turn that fucking thing off. 50 00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:10,048 I just- (man yells) 51 00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:11,973 - Sorry. Sorry about that. 52 00:03:15,030 --> 00:03:17,643 Don't touch me with your retarded jizz rag. 53 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:24,898 As I was saying, I just came down to say 54 00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:28,348 what an amazing job you're doing with the course. 55 00:03:28,350 --> 00:03:30,089 - Well, thanks Mr. Landon. 56 00:03:30,091 --> 00:03:32,668 I've been trying really hard for you. 57 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:35,638 - This weekend is a very important weekend for me 58 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:39,988 and the club, and I couldn't be happier with the greens. 59 00:03:39,990 --> 00:03:43,198 You may be one of the biggest pieces of worthless shit 60 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,818 I've ever laid eyes on, 61 00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:47,878 but Goddamn, you can take care of grass. 62 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,470 - It's all thanks to my special fertilizer, 63 00:03:51,472 --> 00:03:53,223 it's my own secret recipe. 64 00:03:54,510 --> 00:03:55,503 - That fertilizer? 65 00:03:56,430 --> 00:03:58,378 That I just drank a half a gallon of? 66 00:03:58,380 --> 00:03:59,518 - The very same. 67 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:00,723 - What's in that stuff? 68 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:08,000 - Nitrogen, potassium, phosphorus, 69 00:04:08,970 --> 00:04:10,438 which aids in photosynthesis. 70 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:11,271 - Of course. 71 00:04:11,273 --> 00:04:14,728 - Micronutrients, dechlorinate acid, 72 00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:18,898 tetracycline acid, bleach, ammonia. 73 00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:22,353 And of course my secret family additives. 74 00:04:24,660 --> 00:04:25,828 - Which are? 75 00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:28,233 - Well, sir, if I told you that, 76 00:04:29,190 --> 00:04:31,623 with all due respect I'd have to kill you. 77 00:04:34,110 --> 00:04:34,943 - Yes. 78 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:38,589 And this is safe for people? 79 00:04:38,591 --> 00:04:39,841 - I mean, sure. 80 00:04:40,710 --> 00:04:44,703 I huff it all the time and I'm fine. 81 00:04:46,260 --> 00:04:47,458 - Yeah. 82 00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:48,723 What about the animals? 83 00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:51,628 - I haven't seen them huffing it. 84 00:04:51,630 --> 00:04:54,003 - No, you boob, is it safe for them? 85 00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:56,253 - Probably not. 86 00:04:58,180 --> 00:05:00,898 - Oh well, fuck 'em. (laughs) 87 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:03,418 They don't pay any dues on the greens anyway. 88 00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:05,548 As long as my big money friends are safe 89 00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:08,398 to knock around some balls, that's all I care about. 90 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,079 (both laughing) 91 00:05:11,081 --> 00:05:13,748 (siren blaring) 92 00:05:16,862 --> 00:05:17,695 - Oh no. 93 00:05:19,072 --> 00:05:20,488 Oh no. 94 00:05:20,490 --> 00:05:21,753 Not on my good weekend. 95 00:05:28,607 --> 00:05:31,190 (upbeat music) 96 00:05:38,430 --> 00:05:40,258 - What you doing, Googie? 97 00:05:40,260 --> 00:05:41,361 - Reading. 98 00:05:41,363 --> 00:05:42,194 - Reading? 99 00:05:42,196 --> 00:05:43,622 - What the hell are you reading for? 100 00:05:43,624 --> 00:05:45,118 - Yeah, why you reading? 101 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,091 Trying to transform words into pictures in your brain? 102 00:05:48,093 --> 00:05:50,728 - I don't know. I just like reading. 103 00:05:50,730 --> 00:05:51,688 - You like reading. 104 00:05:51,690 --> 00:05:53,548 - Oh, you like reading, huh? 105 00:05:53,550 --> 00:05:54,381 - Yeah. 106 00:05:54,383 --> 00:05:55,768 - Well, we got something for you to read. 107 00:05:55,770 --> 00:05:57,688 - Yeah, read this. 108 00:05:57,690 --> 00:06:00,058 It's called You, Me and Everyone. 109 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:03,688 Making life better for your friends, family and the world. 110 00:06:03,690 --> 00:06:05,968 I think it may help you with some of the social anxiety 111 00:06:05,970 --> 00:06:07,768 you seem to exude here at the club. 112 00:06:07,770 --> 00:06:08,938 - Changed my life. 113 00:06:08,940 --> 00:06:11,848 I think I'd still be in the closet without this. 114 00:06:11,850 --> 00:06:13,108 - You're gay, Smitty? 115 00:06:13,110 --> 00:06:14,278 - Oh, I wish. 116 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:15,748 I was actually trapped in the closet. 117 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,098 Luckily I found this book, 118 00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:19,048 grabbed it and whacked away at the door 119 00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:20,488 until the handle fell off. 120 00:06:20,490 --> 00:06:21,363 Saved my life. 121 00:06:23,219 --> 00:06:25,719 (man panting) 122 00:06:31,811 --> 00:06:34,768 (cat screeches) 123 00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:35,920 - What is it, hole boy? 124 00:06:37,740 --> 00:06:39,513 - Something happened on hole 15? 125 00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:43,014 - It's Gordy? 126 00:06:43,016 --> 00:06:44,466 What, what happened to Gordy? 127 00:06:47,296 --> 00:06:48,846 - You're shitting me, hole boy. 128 00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:59,601 (hole boy farts) 129 00:07:07,786 --> 00:07:10,203 (indistinct) 130 00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:17,518 - For the love of all that's worth my time, 131 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,718 what happened here? 132 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,038 - Looks like one of your employees 133 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,658 didn't make it home last night- 134 00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:23,818 - I don't care about him. 135 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:26,913 What happened to my beautiful landscaping here? 136 00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:32,158 I have the biggest tournament of the season this weekend, 137 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,833 and you are putting chalk lines on my greens. 138 00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:38,128 - Sir, please listen to me. 139 00:07:38,130 --> 00:07:39,423 My hat says police. 140 00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:42,658 Sir. 141 00:07:42,660 --> 00:07:43,491 Sir. 142 00:07:43,493 --> 00:07:46,263 I'm gonna need you to stop contaminating my crime scene. 143 00:07:48,090 --> 00:07:49,738 - Your crime scene? 144 00:07:49,740 --> 00:07:51,778 - That's what I said. - You're crime scene? 145 00:07:51,780 --> 00:07:54,028 What about my golf course? 146 00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:56,968 I can't have my members playing through a dead caddy. 147 00:07:56,970 --> 00:07:59,968 Do you know what will happen if my members see this? 148 00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:02,068 You think they wanna think about death here 149 00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:04,168 at the Old Glory Holes Golf Club? 150 00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:06,058 No, they don't. 151 00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:07,618 If they wanted to think about death 152 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,168 they'd stay at home with their wives. 153 00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:12,958 They come here to forget about death. 154 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,460 - Well, we at least have to wait for an ambulance. 155 00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:18,118 - The ambulance? 156 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,698 You wanna drive an ambulance on my golf course? 157 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:21,858 - That's what I said, didn't I? 158 00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:23,548 - On my greens? 159 00:08:23,550 --> 00:08:26,908 Two days before the biggest event of the year? 160 00:08:26,910 --> 00:08:30,208 Do you know what type of money plays through here? 161 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,373 Policeman's ball money, 162 00:08:33,450 --> 00:08:36,178 killed an unarmed 10 year old kid, 163 00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:38,758 need to not go to jail money. 164 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,003 - How would you like us to get rid of the body? 165 00:08:44,088 --> 00:08:46,888 - This is why I have money 166 00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:49,113 and you're just some golf pig. 167 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:53,038 I have ideas, thoughts. 168 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,598 The best thoughts. 169 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,058 If you had half the thoughts I had in one night, 170 00:08:57,060 --> 00:09:00,868 you'd be, well, you wouldn't be right here right now. 171 00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:01,833 Watch and learn. 172 00:09:02,850 --> 00:09:06,243 Watch and learn, stupid. 173 00:09:07,992 --> 00:09:10,659 (playful music) 174 00:09:14,547 --> 00:09:17,297 (body crunching) 175 00:09:55,272 --> 00:09:56,653 (man farts) 176 00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:59,322 (camera clicks) 177 00:10:00,296 --> 00:10:03,431 - Ugh, gross. You liquified him. 178 00:10:03,433 --> 00:10:06,266 (body squelching) 179 00:10:21,870 --> 00:10:24,823 - You want the real stuff? Right here. 180 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:27,408 (somber music) 181 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,548 - Take your place upon the wall 182 00:10:35,550 --> 00:10:38,008 of heroes that have fallen before you. 183 00:10:38,010 --> 00:10:41,163 Sleep now, you prince amongst princes. 184 00:10:42,390 --> 00:10:46,168 You tiptoed your way into our lives, 185 00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:48,333 but only for a moment you stayed. 186 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,468 Oh, but what an imprint your footsteps 187 00:10:52,470 --> 00:10:54,153 have had upon our hearts. 188 00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:56,728 - I'm gonna miss that guy. 189 00:10:56,730 --> 00:10:58,018 He had the cleanest balls 190 00:10:58,020 --> 00:11:00,898 of all the ball cleaners of the club. 191 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:02,668 - He had the cleanest balls ever. 192 00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:04,918 - His balls were spectacular. 193 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,088 The shine. 194 00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:07,828 - The whitest. 195 00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:08,763 - The shine. 196 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:14,008 - If I had to have the balls of any of us caddies, 197 00:11:14,010 --> 00:11:15,688 and I know you guys would say the same 198 00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:20,008 without shame or envy, I'd want to have his balls. 199 00:11:20,010 --> 00:11:21,670 - Staring into his balls 200 00:11:22,710 --> 00:11:25,618 was like staring into the balls of God. 201 00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:26,653 - No one... 202 00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:33,140 No one could do to balls what he did to balls. 203 00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,798 - The stroking. 204 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,508 - The rubbing. 205 00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:38,908 - The right amount of pressure. 206 00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:41,248 - You would just take his fingertips, 207 00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:43,233 starting at the base of the ball, 208 00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:46,593 working his way round the ball, 209 00:11:48,630 --> 00:11:51,873 draining the balls holes of dirt, and debris. 210 00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:55,879 (man grunting) 211 00:12:10,770 --> 00:12:12,448 Damn, hole boy. 212 00:12:12,450 --> 00:12:14,998 You said what we were all thinking. 213 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,428 You motherfucker. 214 00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:20,583 Goddamn, now I know this mother is gonna rest in peace. 215 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,468 Now let's get out there 216 00:12:25,470 --> 00:12:28,443 and do the best damn caddying we've ever done. 217 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,018 And let's do it for Gordy! 218 00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:32,223 - For Gordy! 219 00:12:32,225 --> 00:12:33,725 - [All] For Gordy! 220 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,624 (ominous music) 221 00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:48,063 - When my father handed this golf club down to me, 222 00:12:49,050 --> 00:12:51,328 he put a lot into my little hands. 223 00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:54,573 He ran this golf club for 35 years, 224 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:58,828 grew it from a pitching putt 225 00:12:58,830 --> 00:13:01,503 to the greatest golf club in the tri-state area. 226 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,588 Now it's my turn to take the wheel, 227 00:13:04,590 --> 00:13:07,258 make it even bigger and better. 228 00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:09,568 My first year I started the 229 00:13:09,570 --> 00:13:12,460 Complete and Putter Madness Golf Tournament 230 00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:16,263 and I've been running it for four years now. 231 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:23,240 It's been the biggest, the biggest golf tournament, 232 00:13:23,610 --> 00:13:26,350 this club, this country 233 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,323 and from what I hear, this world has ever seen, 234 00:13:33,570 --> 00:13:37,258 I have a lot to worry about leading up to the tournament. 235 00:13:37,260 --> 00:13:41,013 Now I have to deal with dead caddies on my green. 236 00:13:42,180 --> 00:13:43,888 I can't have this. 237 00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:47,518 Everybody knows I'm the best golf club owner, 238 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,613 the very best golf club owner. 239 00:13:55,470 --> 00:13:57,393 I give my members what they need. 240 00:14:01,020 --> 00:14:02,638 You know what happens if I stop 241 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,290 giving my members what they need? 242 00:14:07,050 --> 00:14:08,807 I stop getting what I want. 243 00:14:10,590 --> 00:14:12,783 I stop getting the money, 244 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:14,943 the power, 245 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:18,903 the ego fulfillment. 246 00:14:20,850 --> 00:14:22,790 Is that what you want? 247 00:14:22,792 --> 00:14:25,143 - I'm just a groundskeeper. 248 00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:27,653 - No. 249 00:14:30,030 --> 00:14:32,103 Actually, that's not what any of us want. 250 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:39,213 If I lose my power, we all lose our power. 251 00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:41,133 You understand? 252 00:14:42,003 --> 00:14:44,433 - No, not really. 253 00:14:45,390 --> 00:14:47,188 - I understand, sir. 254 00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:50,029 - I can't have these caddies ruining my big day. 255 00:14:50,031 --> 00:14:51,213 - No. No. 256 00:14:52,272 --> 00:14:54,178 They're wild. 257 00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:58,863 They're out there screaming and yelling, well dying. 258 00:15:00,690 --> 00:15:04,978 These are not the things that you or your member, 259 00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:07,623 members should have to deal with. 260 00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:09,323 No, no, no. 261 00:15:10,419 --> 00:15:14,668 You've done all you can to prevent this type of situation. 262 00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:16,174 Yes, yes. 263 00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:18,028 You just relax. 264 00:15:18,030 --> 00:15:20,908 Let me, Miss Flannager, 265 00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:25,910 your best friend and personal assistant take care of it. 266 00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:32,420 Why, a man of your stature (giggles) should not have to deal 267 00:15:33,090 --> 00:15:35,668 with this type of situation, 268 00:15:35,670 --> 00:15:39,963 with skin so soft and smelling of fresh linen. 269 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:45,663 Yes, and the shoulders of a strong, independent woman. 270 00:15:46,671 --> 00:15:49,195 I don't need no man! 271 00:15:49,197 --> 00:15:51,898 - Jesus Christ with a boner on the jew cross. 272 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:53,043 Get away from me! 273 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:56,673 - Can I go? 274 00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:04,820 - My answer to this problem is a new caddy manager, 275 00:16:05,940 --> 00:16:10,078 someone who won't take any cuff from those little shitheads. 276 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,628 And there's only one person I know 277 00:16:12,630 --> 00:16:14,193 that can handle this mission. 278 00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:18,213 My niece Becky. 279 00:16:20,823 --> 00:16:23,406 (sultry music) 280 00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:41,253 She knows nothing about golf. 281 00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:46,410 Or the day-to-day operations of being a caddy. 282 00:16:48,330 --> 00:16:49,533 But she's family. 283 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,793 I see no better person for the job. 284 00:16:55,110 --> 00:16:57,199 You're gonna spy for me. 285 00:16:57,201 --> 00:16:59,553 I mean, you're gonna manage for me. 286 00:17:01,833 --> 00:17:05,370 Oh, manage them real good for me. 287 00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:07,905 Solve all my problems. 288 00:17:07,907 --> 00:17:10,953 You're so sexy and beautiful. 289 00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:16,563 No man cannot listen to, respect you. 290 00:17:17,490 --> 00:17:20,818 Is she the most beautiful female specimen 291 00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:22,498 you've ever seen? 292 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,998 - Damn fine, sir. 293 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,431 Yes. (giggles) 294 00:17:25,433 --> 00:17:28,678 - If I could still get a male erection, 295 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,333 you know, I'd have one right now. 296 00:17:32,490 --> 00:17:36,963 Bicycle accident, '84, hasn't worked since. 297 00:17:37,950 --> 00:17:38,968 - Don't worry. 298 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:41,608 I'll infiltrate that group of mindless sperm bags 299 00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:45,298 and turn this whole goddamn caddy operation around. 300 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,278 I'm gonna go in there like a wrecking ball 301 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:51,268 until they all do my bidding one by one. 302 00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:52,503 Believe you me. 303 00:17:53,430 --> 00:17:54,583 - Oh, I do. 304 00:17:55,540 --> 00:17:58,123 (all laughing) 305 00:18:11,726 --> 00:18:14,309 (upbeat music) 306 00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:22,487 I'm spraying these greens every day. 307 00:18:23,254 --> 00:18:24,671 Gotta keep going. 308 00:18:26,025 --> 00:18:27,753 Can't stop now. 309 00:18:29,430 --> 00:18:32,193 This always reminds me of Vietnam! 310 00:18:36,510 --> 00:18:39,344 My platoon, they're pinned down. 311 00:18:39,346 --> 00:18:41,248 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. 312 00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,911 I'll save you, guys. I'll get you out. 313 00:18:43,913 --> 00:18:46,408 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. 314 00:18:46,410 --> 00:18:47,788 They're everywhere. 315 00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:49,833 We got Charlie all over the place. 316 00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,568 Oh, we're gonna get out boys. 317 00:18:54,570 --> 00:18:56,578 I'll make sure we get to the chopper. 318 00:18:56,580 --> 00:18:58,948 I make sure, we'll get you there. 319 00:18:58,950 --> 00:19:00,950 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. 320 00:19:03,493 --> 00:19:06,160 I'll get the flamethrower ready! 321 00:19:09,577 --> 00:19:10,660 Need the gas! 322 00:19:16,236 --> 00:19:17,069 Oh. 323 00:19:18,148 --> 00:19:19,148 Hello there. 324 00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:20,973 How are you? 325 00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,270 You're such a cutie. 326 00:19:32,025 --> 00:19:37,025 Oh no! 327 00:19:45,946 --> 00:19:46,779 How is it possible? 328 00:19:48,447 --> 00:19:50,163 No, stop. Please. 329 00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,403 What the fuck? 330 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,268 - Remember me? Wacky Willy. 331 00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:06,633 We're 20 minutes into the movie, here's another song. 332 00:20:13,650 --> 00:20:16,133 - No, (indistinct) 333 00:20:19,238 --> 00:20:24,238 - Okay guys, settle down. 334 00:20:27,718 --> 00:20:31,803 Okay guys, I have a pretty important announcement to make. 335 00:20:33,330 --> 00:20:35,313 So if you could all just settle down. 336 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:40,913 - My boombox! 337 00:20:43,074 --> 00:20:45,491 (rock music) 338 00:20:53,070 --> 00:20:54,517 Whoa, whoa, time out. 339 00:20:56,428 --> 00:20:57,261 Boobies. 340 00:21:01,918 --> 00:21:02,918 Hubba hubba. 341 00:21:04,182 --> 00:21:05,641 - Okay, fellas. 342 00:21:05,643 --> 00:21:08,818 What are the three ups of caddying? 343 00:21:08,820 --> 00:21:10,472 - [All] Show up. 344 00:21:10,474 --> 00:21:13,173 Sheep up and shut up. 345 00:21:14,730 --> 00:21:17,098 - That's right, very good, very good. 346 00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:21,543 So if you could all just shut up and please try to keep up. 347 00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:27,628 Yes, well, I have a very important announcement to make. 348 00:21:27,630 --> 00:21:30,478 Fellas, I'd like you to meet Becky. 349 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,943 She's our new caddy manager. 350 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,568 - What? A new manager, gimme a break. 351 00:21:36,570 --> 00:21:40,018 - I'm not gonna let this beaver boss me around. 352 00:21:40,020 --> 00:21:41,218 What about Mr. Bobbi? 353 00:21:41,220 --> 00:21:43,738 He's the best damned caddy manager I've ever worked with. 354 00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:47,938 - Oh, Mr. Bobbi's been dead for two years now. 355 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:50,698 Yes. (giggles) 356 00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,098 - I thought he was just mad at us. 357 00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:56,013 - We really do have to do something with that body. 358 00:21:57,330 --> 00:21:59,758 - All right, that's not what's important. 359 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,218 What's important is there's a new manager in town 360 00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:04,168 and things are gonna change. 361 00:22:04,170 --> 00:22:05,698 - Like how? 362 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:09,688 - Like, like no gum. 363 00:22:09,690 --> 00:22:11,308 You guys can't chew gum. 364 00:22:11,310 --> 00:22:12,508 - Nobody's chewing gum. 365 00:22:12,510 --> 00:22:14,938 - Good, we're off to an amazing start. 366 00:22:14,940 --> 00:22:16,378 You see how great I am? 367 00:22:16,380 --> 00:22:17,733 - You are amazing. 368 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:19,828 Yes. 369 00:22:19,830 --> 00:22:22,228 - Now, which one of you pube holes 370 00:22:22,230 --> 00:22:23,398 wants to show me around 371 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,498 and fill me in on your day to day around here? 372 00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:26,848 - I'll fill you in, baby. 373 00:22:26,850 --> 00:22:27,808 - What's your name? 374 00:22:27,810 --> 00:22:28,933 - Around here... 375 00:22:30,630 --> 00:22:31,743 They call me fingers. 376 00:22:32,850 --> 00:22:34,438 - Why do they call you that? 377 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,843 - Oh, I'm sure you'll find out. 378 00:22:37,685 --> 00:22:38,818 (fingers crunching) 379 00:22:38,820 --> 00:22:41,488 Oh God, my fingering fingers. 380 00:22:41,490 --> 00:22:43,190 - Now they're your broken fingers. 381 00:22:44,610 --> 00:22:46,948 Anyone else wanna be a smart ass? 382 00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:50,613 Now I'm gonna ask again, who wants to show me around? 383 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,263 You, what's your name? 384 00:22:57,265 --> 00:22:58,702 - Googie. 385 00:22:58,704 --> 00:23:01,378 - Well, Googie, it looks like you've been elected. 386 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:04,018 Now get your bony ass up and let's do this. 387 00:23:04,020 --> 00:23:05,788 The rest of you get back to work 388 00:23:05,790 --> 00:23:08,590 doing whatever it is you pecker pinchers do around here. 389 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,463 - You're all in trouble now, yes. 390 00:23:12,630 --> 00:23:15,453 - Get outta here, Flannager, you brown nose pug wad. 391 00:23:16,410 --> 00:23:19,066 - Things are gonna change around here. 392 00:23:19,068 --> 00:23:22,348 Yes they are. (giggles) 393 00:23:22,350 --> 00:23:23,684 - Thanks a lot guys. 394 00:23:23,686 --> 00:23:25,622 (caddies laughing) 395 00:23:25,624 --> 00:23:28,118 You suck, bony ass! 396 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:30,612 - Who likes reading now? 397 00:23:30,614 --> 00:23:33,197 (upbeat music) 398 00:23:35,776 --> 00:23:38,443 (playful music) 399 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:45,873 - No. 400 00:23:47,548 --> 00:23:48,693 What are you doing? 401 00:23:50,190 --> 00:23:51,778 Don't even think about it. 402 00:23:51,780 --> 00:23:55,438 You are not going to take that sandwich. 403 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,830 It's not for you. 404 00:23:57,832 --> 00:23:59,433 It's for the gophers. 405 00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:02,163 He's gonna take the sandwich. 406 00:24:03,210 --> 00:24:05,158 We're going to code red. 407 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,974 Be on alert, I repeat, be on alert. 408 00:24:08,976 --> 00:24:11,637 He's gonna eat it. He's gonna eat it. 409 00:24:11,639 --> 00:24:13,939 I don't have any more money for another hogey. 410 00:24:16,020 --> 00:24:17,368 Oh, that's it. 411 00:24:17,370 --> 00:24:20,218 The mission's compromised, mission's compromised. 412 00:24:20,220 --> 00:24:21,453 Abort, abort. 413 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,688 Drop the sandwich, son. 414 00:24:27,690 --> 00:24:29,668 You take another bite and I'll slit your throat 415 00:24:29,670 --> 00:24:31,704 and I'll remove that tasty morsel 416 00:24:31,706 --> 00:24:34,228 from your overstretched stomach. 417 00:24:34,230 --> 00:24:35,133 Comprende? 418 00:24:36,510 --> 00:24:38,081 You think I'm playing? 419 00:24:38,083 --> 00:24:40,753 Go ahead, take another bite. 420 00:24:40,755 --> 00:24:42,338 See if I'm playing. 421 00:24:44,794 --> 00:24:46,155 Drop it. 422 00:24:46,157 --> 00:24:46,990 Drop it. 423 00:24:47,837 --> 00:24:48,920 There you go. 424 00:24:49,907 --> 00:24:51,533 Now, get the hell outta here. 425 00:24:51,535 --> 00:24:54,285 (dramatic music) 426 00:25:06,886 --> 00:25:09,553 (gopher crying) 427 00:25:10,570 --> 00:25:12,487 - Mission accomplished. 428 00:25:16,860 --> 00:25:19,768 - So let's just say hypothetically, 429 00:25:19,770 --> 00:25:22,768 I don't know anything about golf or what a caddy does. 430 00:25:22,770 --> 00:25:24,598 Tell me what you guys do around here. 431 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,908 - Being a caddy is a very important job, 432 00:25:26,910 --> 00:25:29,098 one that gets overlooked a lot. 433 00:25:29,100 --> 00:25:31,498 We're a good golfer's number one tool. 434 00:25:31,500 --> 00:25:35,158 We walk the course with them, we carry their bags. 435 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,462 - Couldn't they just use a golf cart for that? 436 00:25:37,464 --> 00:25:40,918 - Could a golf cart calculate the yardage on the next pin? 437 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,678 Could it tell 'em what club to use on the next shot? 438 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,578 Could a golf cart go ahead and scout the shot for them? 439 00:25:47,580 --> 00:25:50,398 Could it clean and locate their balls? 440 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,198 Rake sand traps? 441 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:56,488 And then there's weather variables, marking the greens, 442 00:25:56,490 --> 00:25:59,023 more than anything else, we... 443 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,628 A caddy makes the game more enjoyable for a golfer 444 00:26:03,630 --> 00:26:07,378 by handling mental tasks, speeding up the process, 445 00:26:07,380 --> 00:26:08,998 being a support for them. 446 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,063 A caddy is a golfer's best friend and confidant. 447 00:26:13,050 --> 00:26:14,992 - You're kind of a loser around here. 448 00:26:14,994 --> 00:26:16,255 - I don't think so. 449 00:26:16,257 --> 00:26:18,148 - No, I can tell these things. 450 00:26:18,150 --> 00:26:19,528 I can smell it on you. 451 00:26:19,530 --> 00:26:22,258 Same way a dog can smell when a woman's on her period. 452 00:26:22,260 --> 00:26:24,208 - Is that a thing? 453 00:26:24,210 --> 00:26:26,728 - Why do you let those guys pick on you? 454 00:26:26,730 --> 00:26:28,316 - I don't know. 455 00:26:28,318 --> 00:26:31,528 I think the guys are pretty cool dudes. 456 00:26:31,530 --> 00:26:34,648 Maybe it's because I'm a 38 year old caddy trainee 457 00:26:34,650 --> 00:26:36,748 and they're all championship caddies. 458 00:26:36,750 --> 00:26:38,518 - Championship caddies? 459 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:41,428 - Yeah, there's a special ranking system for caddies. 460 00:26:41,430 --> 00:26:44,368 - Doi! You think I didn't know about the ranking systems. 461 00:26:44,370 --> 00:26:45,201 You think I didn't know 462 00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:47,098 there was different ranks for caddies? 463 00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:48,418 How could I be the caddy manager 464 00:26:48,420 --> 00:26:49,898 if I don't know this stuff, huh? 465 00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:51,199 - I didn't mean anything by it. 466 00:26:51,201 --> 00:26:52,228 I just thought you wanted to know. 467 00:26:52,230 --> 00:26:54,478 - I didn't go to Caddy Management College 468 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,328 for four years to have some snot rocket trainee 469 00:26:57,330 --> 00:26:58,935 thinks he knows more than I do. 470 00:26:58,937 --> 00:26:59,768 - Sorry. 471 00:26:59,770 --> 00:27:00,601 - You got that? 472 00:27:00,603 --> 00:27:01,434 - Yeah. 473 00:27:01,436 --> 00:27:02,267 - You got it? 474 00:27:02,269 --> 00:27:03,268 - I said yes. 475 00:27:03,270 --> 00:27:05,188 - You think I didn't go to caddy management college? 476 00:27:05,190 --> 00:27:06,898 Do you think I'm lying about that? 477 00:27:06,900 --> 00:27:09,268 - I didn't even know such a thing existed. 478 00:27:09,270 --> 00:27:11,373 - There is a thing and I went there. 479 00:27:12,618 --> 00:27:13,768 - Okay. 480 00:27:13,770 --> 00:27:15,028 - I did. 481 00:27:15,030 --> 00:27:15,861 - Okay. 482 00:27:15,863 --> 00:27:17,588 - I'm not lying. 483 00:27:17,590 --> 00:27:20,140 - Look, I better go fish the balls out of the lake. 484 00:27:23,850 --> 00:27:25,888 - Don't blow this, Becky. 485 00:27:25,890 --> 00:27:27,538 I'm not going to. 486 00:27:27,540 --> 00:27:29,158 He's onto us. 487 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:30,058 No, he's not. 488 00:27:30,060 --> 00:27:31,768 He knows you're a fake. 489 00:27:31,770 --> 00:27:33,058 You're a fake. 490 00:27:33,060 --> 00:27:35,818 We have to get him on our side at any cost. 491 00:27:35,820 --> 00:27:37,233 At any cost. 492 00:27:39,163 --> 00:27:41,830 (playful music) 493 00:27:45,990 --> 00:27:48,543 - That's some good gopher bait. 494 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:57,903 Alright, you son of a bitch, let's do this. 495 00:28:01,170 --> 00:28:06,170 Now I'm gonna spray you with some of this stuff 496 00:28:06,570 --> 00:28:09,423 and nothing's gonna happen. 497 00:28:09,425 --> 00:28:11,608 You got nothing. 498 00:28:11,610 --> 00:28:14,193 That other gopher was just a fluke. 499 00:28:17,100 --> 00:28:22,100 My patented fertilizer does not turn you fuzzy, 500 00:28:24,270 --> 00:28:29,043 adorable creatures into sadistic, mutated, 501 00:28:30,510 --> 00:28:34,348 blood hungry devil gophers. 502 00:28:34,350 --> 00:28:35,583 Do we have an agreement? 503 00:28:37,860 --> 00:28:41,578 Good, once we prove that this formula, 504 00:28:41,580 --> 00:28:45,238 my fertilizer does not do the above, 505 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:49,588 I will let you go and we'll forget all about this 506 00:28:49,590 --> 00:28:53,223 and we'll go on with our happy lives. 507 00:28:57,630 --> 00:28:58,593 Here we go. 508 00:29:02,735 --> 00:29:05,652 Oh, just in case this does turn you 509 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,358 into a mutated killing machine... 510 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,148 Not that it will. Not that it will, 511 00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:15,628 but just in case, I'm sorry. 512 00:29:15,630 --> 00:29:20,630 And please try to remember my compassion. 513 00:29:22,770 --> 00:29:24,298 Thank you. 514 00:29:24,300 --> 00:29:27,663 Deliver me from thine enemies, oh God. 515 00:29:28,590 --> 00:29:33,063 Defend me from those that rise up against me. 516 00:29:35,380 --> 00:29:38,547 (fertilizer spraying) 517 00:29:43,260 --> 00:29:44,458 You're okay! 518 00:29:44,460 --> 00:29:45,688 You're okay! 519 00:29:45,690 --> 00:29:48,058 See, it wasn't my formula. 520 00:29:48,060 --> 00:29:49,142 It was... 521 00:29:49,144 --> 00:29:51,841 (ominous music) (Gopher groaning) 522 00:29:51,843 --> 00:29:52,676 No, wait. 523 00:29:54,124 --> 00:29:55,291 Don't do that. 524 00:29:57,029 --> 00:29:59,779 (Hambone laughs) 525 00:30:01,474 --> 00:30:04,828 You got, you had me. You had me. 526 00:30:04,830 --> 00:30:08,252 I'll tell you what, you really know how to pull up a prank. 527 00:30:08,254 --> 00:30:10,837 (man laughing) 528 00:30:13,494 --> 00:30:15,827 Oh shit, you're not kidding. 529 00:30:16,687 --> 00:30:17,914 Oh no. 530 00:30:17,916 --> 00:30:18,749 Oh no. 531 00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:21,513 What have you done, Hambone? 532 00:30:25,185 --> 00:30:26,458 What am I gonna do? 533 00:30:26,460 --> 00:30:28,738 What are you gonna do, Hambone? 534 00:30:28,740 --> 00:30:30,740 You're always doing something like this. 535 00:30:32,115 --> 00:30:33,538 Who knows how many of these creatures 536 00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:34,990 are out there running around. 537 00:30:37,858 --> 00:30:39,958 Wait, Mr. Landon. 538 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,060 He'll know what to do. 539 00:30:42,279 --> 00:30:45,279 (creature growling) 540 00:30:56,991 --> 00:30:58,164 - No, 541 00:30:58,166 --> 00:30:59,476 no, 542 00:30:59,478 --> 00:31:00,311 no. 543 00:31:01,403 --> 00:31:03,303 This is unacceptable. 544 00:31:05,130 --> 00:31:08,668 You mean to tell me that if these gophers 545 00:31:08,670 --> 00:31:10,318 ingest your formula, 546 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,683 they turn into these little killer freaky gophers. 547 00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:17,073 - That seems to be the case. 548 00:31:19,350 --> 00:31:21,268 - And you're saying there may be more of these 549 00:31:21,270 --> 00:31:24,658 mutated shitbags running around my course. 550 00:31:24,660 --> 00:31:26,698 My course? 551 00:31:26,700 --> 00:31:29,908 - Other than this one, I've only seen one other. 552 00:31:29,910 --> 00:31:31,855 But it's not a crazy idea to think that 553 00:31:31,857 --> 00:31:33,663 there's more out there. 554 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:38,613 And we're sure this thing is dangerous? 555 00:31:39,630 --> 00:31:41,523 - One attacked me on the green, sir? 556 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,398 - But are we certain. 557 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,595 - I'm 50% certain, 558 00:31:46,597 --> 00:31:49,833 but there's only a 30% chance that that's right. 559 00:31:52,140 --> 00:31:53,853 - 50% certain? 560 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:01,678 Well, let's find out just how dangerous 561 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,753 these little flea bags can be. 562 00:32:04,692 --> 00:32:05,525 Flannager! 563 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:07,553 - Yes sir? 564 00:32:08,452 --> 00:32:10,352 - Stick your hand in that gopher trap. 565 00:32:11,305 --> 00:32:14,368 - That trap right there, sir? 566 00:32:14,370 --> 00:32:18,088 - Yes, that trap right there, Flannager. 567 00:32:18,090 --> 00:32:20,398 Well, is it safe, sir? 568 00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:22,318 - Safe? Of course it's safe. 569 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:23,668 Would I lie to you? 570 00:32:23,670 --> 00:32:26,488 - Oh, well there was that one time, sir. 571 00:32:26,490 --> 00:32:28,708 - And I found a cream to fix it. 572 00:32:28,710 --> 00:32:30,508 No harm, no foul. 573 00:32:30,510 --> 00:32:31,648 - You're right there, sir. 574 00:32:31,650 --> 00:32:33,775 - Of course I am. 575 00:32:33,777 --> 00:32:35,488 Now stick your hand in there. 576 00:32:35,490 --> 00:32:37,263 After we'll go get some mimosas. 577 00:32:48,686 --> 00:32:53,686 (Miss Flannager yelling) (intense music) 578 00:32:55,227 --> 00:32:58,680 Get that disgusting thing outta here! 579 00:32:58,682 --> 00:32:59,991 Have some coot. 580 00:32:59,993 --> 00:33:00,824 - Sorry, sir. 581 00:33:00,826 --> 00:33:02,909 It's totally my bad, sir. 582 00:33:06,987 --> 00:33:09,981 - I can't let these gophers ruin my tournament. 583 00:33:09,983 --> 00:33:12,988 There's no way I can refund a hundred 584 00:33:12,990 --> 00:33:17,488 of the richest, mediocre golfers their entry fees. 585 00:33:17,490 --> 00:33:18,628 I already spent half of it 586 00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:20,973 on underage, wheelchair bound hookers. 587 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:26,850 This problem has to be solved before it gets out of hand. 588 00:33:37,710 --> 00:33:38,890 Our mission 589 00:33:41,610 --> 00:33:44,218 is to rally the caddies 590 00:33:44,220 --> 00:33:48,520 and have them round up all these godforsaken things. 591 00:33:48,522 --> 00:33:51,243 - Should I inform the troops of the entire situation? 592 00:33:52,350 --> 00:33:53,583 - Hell no. 593 00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,508 As far as they know, 594 00:33:57,510 --> 00:34:00,298 they're gonna be collecting your average, 595 00:34:00,300 --> 00:34:05,223 cute and cuddly, fun-loving, run of the mill gophers. 596 00:34:06,834 --> 00:34:10,018 - Do I have clearance to use any force necessary? 597 00:34:10,020 --> 00:34:10,953 Deadly force? 598 00:34:11,851 --> 00:34:14,218 - You can bomb every one of the little bastards 599 00:34:14,220 --> 00:34:15,838 as far as I care. 600 00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:18,393 As long as this weekend goes off without a hitch. 601 00:34:22,470 --> 00:34:24,963 - As you know, I am disciplined. 602 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,493 Physically and mentally tough, 603 00:34:30,390 --> 00:34:34,948 trained and proficient in all of my warrior tasks. 604 00:34:34,950 --> 00:34:37,263 I won't let you down, sir. 605 00:34:42,396 --> 00:34:44,146 - God speed, Hambone. 606 00:34:47,784 --> 00:34:48,617 God speed. 607 00:34:50,879 --> 00:34:53,629 (downbeat music) 608 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,098 - Goddammit. 609 00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:04,315 My old game is off today, Googie. 610 00:35:04,317 --> 00:35:07,198 - You just gotta relax and keep calm. 611 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:08,818 You topped that drive 612 00:35:08,820 --> 00:35:12,328 and your game's been preoccupied for the last three holes. 613 00:35:12,330 --> 00:35:13,588 - I know I topped the drive. 614 00:35:13,590 --> 00:35:17,398 You don't think I know that? That's not it at all. 615 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,228 - Just stay in the present. 616 00:35:19,230 --> 00:35:21,028 - What do you think? I'm in 1990, 617 00:35:21,030 --> 00:35:24,238 back when I actually enjoyed some part of my life? 618 00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:27,328 - And don't just focus on your individual shots. 619 00:35:27,330 --> 00:35:30,478 Focus on the pieces of the shots. 620 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,728 - Pieces of my shots? 621 00:35:32,730 --> 00:35:35,278 - Now you got a tough putt here, all right? 622 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:38,758 So put your head in the preparation process, all right? 623 00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:42,423 Find a safe target, aim your club face. 624 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:44,733 Align your body. 625 00:35:46,170 --> 00:35:47,878 Arm back. 626 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,438 All right, buddy. 627 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:50,493 Now let her go. 628 00:35:55,530 --> 00:35:58,803 - Dammit, you never let me down, Googie. 629 00:36:00,070 --> 00:36:02,278 Ah, I guess my head's just all messed up 630 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:03,988 'cause this broad is out here. 631 00:36:03,990 --> 00:36:04,948 - Excuse me? 632 00:36:04,950 --> 00:36:06,628 - What, did you fart? 633 00:36:06,630 --> 00:36:09,238 - I find it offensive that you called me a broad 634 00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:11,098 and you think the mere presence of a woman 635 00:36:11,100 --> 00:36:13,528 would throw off your precious golf game. 636 00:36:13,530 --> 00:36:17,578 - Look, lady, I don't like women on my course, all right? 637 00:36:17,580 --> 00:36:18,808 So if you're gonna be here, 638 00:36:18,810 --> 00:36:20,968 why don't you go get me a drink or something. 639 00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:23,338 - I don't think she's messing up your game. 640 00:36:23,340 --> 00:36:26,368 You just have to relax and stay cool. 641 00:36:26,370 --> 00:36:28,948 She might even be a good luck charm. 642 00:36:28,950 --> 00:36:30,718 She's our new caddy manager. 643 00:36:30,720 --> 00:36:33,298 She's been four years at Caddy College. 644 00:36:33,300 --> 00:36:35,998 She probably knows more about golf than both of us. 645 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,978 - Caddy College? 646 00:36:37,980 --> 00:36:40,738 What in tarnation is Caddy College. 647 00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:42,928 - You think just because I don't have a stinky wiener 648 00:36:42,930 --> 00:36:45,898 between my legs that I can't know anything about golf? 649 00:36:45,900 --> 00:36:48,808 - That's exactly what I'm trying to say. 650 00:36:48,810 --> 00:36:50,968 I mean, we give you women Mondays, right? 651 00:36:50,970 --> 00:36:54,178 Who do you think you are to weasel your way around here 652 00:36:54,180 --> 00:36:57,598 every other day of the week trying to ruin our fun? 653 00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,461 I mean, it's cute that you girls try. 654 00:36:59,463 --> 00:37:01,468 - Cute how we try. 655 00:37:01,470 --> 00:37:02,668 How we try? 656 00:37:02,670 --> 00:37:03,501 - I don't think he meant- 657 00:37:03,503 --> 00:37:07,498 - I mean that I'm sick and tired of these chuckleheaded, 658 00:37:07,500 --> 00:37:11,428 broad burden, femaNazis trying to change everything 659 00:37:11,430 --> 00:37:15,358 that we red blooded Americans have come to know and love. 660 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:19,108 Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to my game. 661 00:37:19,110 --> 00:37:20,308 - I do mind. 662 00:37:20,310 --> 00:37:22,768 And I bet I could hit one of these ball things 663 00:37:22,770 --> 00:37:24,538 farther than you could. 664 00:37:24,540 --> 00:37:27,058 - You think you could hit the drive better than me? 665 00:37:27,060 --> 00:37:29,428 - You bet your old wrinkly balls I do. 666 00:37:29,430 --> 00:37:31,265 - Becky, I don't know if this is a good idea. 667 00:37:31,267 --> 00:37:33,117 - I don't have to take this from him. 668 00:37:34,470 --> 00:37:35,463 - Feisty this one. 669 00:37:37,759 --> 00:37:38,592 - Psst. 670 00:37:42,556 --> 00:37:43,556 Becky, psst. 671 00:37:45,052 --> 00:37:45,885 Psst. 672 00:37:49,330 --> 00:37:51,358 - Look, I know this guy's an asshole 673 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,728 but he's one of the wealthiest club members. 674 00:37:53,730 --> 00:37:55,888 We can't afford to piss him off, 675 00:37:55,890 --> 00:37:58,743 but Mr. Landon won't be pleased if this guy complains. 676 00:38:00,330 --> 00:38:01,866 - Fuck Mr. Landon. 677 00:38:01,868 --> 00:38:04,451 (upbeat music) 678 00:38:16,710 --> 00:38:18,603 - You ready out there, Googie? 679 00:38:24,270 --> 00:38:26,043 Let's see you do better than that? 680 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:37,871 - Dammit. 681 00:38:37,873 --> 00:38:40,708 - (laughs) Oh, what's the matter, girly? 682 00:38:40,710 --> 00:38:42,743 Not as good as you thought you were, huh? 683 00:38:44,927 --> 00:38:46,318 - You've got this, Becky. 684 00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,748 Just concentrate on the ball. 685 00:38:48,750 --> 00:38:50,193 Be one with the ball. 686 00:38:56,748 --> 00:38:59,373 (Googie groaning) 687 00:38:59,375 --> 00:39:00,778 - Googie. 688 00:39:00,780 --> 00:39:02,398 - Oh, my balls. 689 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,738 It's okay, nice shot. 690 00:39:04,740 --> 00:39:05,883 - Best out of three. 691 00:39:11,460 --> 00:39:12,693 Best outta five. 692 00:39:18,780 --> 00:39:21,493 - Not again! (groans) 693 00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:31,273 - Best out of 11. 694 00:39:36,450 --> 00:39:38,848 - Nothing like a mid-afternoon brew break. 695 00:39:38,850 --> 00:39:41,698 - Work hard, party hard, that's what I always say. 696 00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:43,413 - Do you Stan? Do you? 697 00:39:45,540 --> 00:39:47,398 - I say it all the time. 698 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,158 - I haven't heard you say that once this whole film. 699 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:51,778 - It's my first scene. 700 00:39:51,780 --> 00:39:53,818 - Any of you guys ever hear Stanny boy here 701 00:39:53,820 --> 00:39:56,008 say work hard, party hard. 702 00:39:56,010 --> 00:39:56,968 - No. 703 00:39:56,970 --> 00:39:58,228 - What are you saying, Biggles? 704 00:39:58,230 --> 00:40:00,538 Are you saying I can't party hard? 705 00:40:00,540 --> 00:40:02,638 - Yeah, that's exactly what the Biggles is saying. 706 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,198 You can't party hard, Stan. 707 00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:08,518 And you certainly can't party harder than the Biggles. 708 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,338 - I work hard and I party hard 709 00:40:11,340 --> 00:40:14,248 and I can party harder than every one of you. 710 00:40:14,250 --> 00:40:15,898 - Party harder than all of us? 711 00:40:15,900 --> 00:40:17,968 You gotta be kidding, Stan. 712 00:40:17,970 --> 00:40:19,978 - You gotta be kidding, Stan. 713 00:40:19,980 --> 00:40:22,408 - Shit son, the Biggels was partying hard 714 00:40:22,410 --> 00:40:24,778 when you were still sucking on your mama's tit. 715 00:40:24,780 --> 00:40:26,477 - Your mom's tit, Stan. 716 00:40:26,479 --> 00:40:28,288 - Leave my mom outta this. 717 00:40:28,290 --> 00:40:29,428 She's dead, you know? 718 00:40:29,430 --> 00:40:31,378 - My condolences, Stan. 719 00:40:31,380 --> 00:40:33,088 - You know that's probably why she laid there 720 00:40:33,090 --> 00:40:37,528 when I was giving her the world famous Biggle special, Stan. 721 00:40:37,530 --> 00:40:38,818 - The Biggle special, Stan. 722 00:40:38,820 --> 00:40:41,073 - That's it. That's it, man! 723 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,058 We're gonna settle this like men. 724 00:40:44,060 --> 00:40:48,555 - [All] Party off, party off, party off. 725 00:40:48,557 --> 00:40:50,188 - Quiet. Quiet! 726 00:40:50,190 --> 00:40:53,938 There's no time for a party off right now. 727 00:40:53,940 --> 00:40:57,092 We've got pressing matters to discuss. 728 00:40:57,094 --> 00:40:59,863 - Is there time for a quick dance off? 729 00:40:59,865 --> 00:41:02,532 (playful music) 730 00:41:17,503 --> 00:41:18,334 - Okay. 731 00:41:18,336 --> 00:41:19,167 (caddies cheer) 732 00:41:19,169 --> 00:41:21,216 But make it quick! 733 00:41:21,218 --> 00:41:23,801 (upbeat music) 734 00:42:54,104 --> 00:42:58,378 - So, you and your little gopher buddies 735 00:42:58,380 --> 00:43:00,035 think you can just come in here 736 00:43:00,037 --> 00:43:03,273 and ruin everything I've ever worked for? 737 00:43:04,650 --> 00:43:06,783 Like you own this land or something. 738 00:43:08,940 --> 00:43:12,513 There's plenty of other places for your kind to go. 739 00:43:16,110 --> 00:43:18,843 When this tournament's over, I'm gonna build a wall. 740 00:43:20,490 --> 00:43:23,853 The biggest damn wall you gophers have ever seen. 741 00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:27,388 You're lucky you don't have any money. 742 00:43:27,390 --> 00:43:29,763 I'd make the whole lot of you pay for it. 743 00:43:33,180 --> 00:43:37,858 Then finally, me and my friends, 744 00:43:37,860 --> 00:43:40,690 the good people of the Old Glory Holes Golf Club 745 00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:44,583 will be free of nuisances like you. 746 00:43:47,910 --> 00:43:52,893 Yeah, I'd like to see you get in here then. 747 00:43:54,750 --> 00:43:58,182 Nobody gets a drop on Wells Landon. 748 00:43:58,184 --> 00:43:59,278 (cage rattles) 749 00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:00,113 Christ! 750 00:44:01,260 --> 00:44:03,970 Hey, hey, hey. How you doing? 751 00:44:03,972 --> 00:44:06,478 You know that stuff I was saying, 752 00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:09,628 you don't think I meant any of it, do you? 753 00:44:09,630 --> 00:44:12,943 Hey, we can talk about this. We can negotiate it. 754 00:44:13,822 --> 00:44:17,072 I got a lot of friends who are gophers. 755 00:44:18,233 --> 00:44:20,103 Some of my best friends are gophers. 756 00:44:21,780 --> 00:44:23,410 I like you guys so much 757 00:44:24,769 --> 00:44:28,473 that I'm gonna let you join my club. 758 00:44:32,450 --> 00:44:35,678 - No, the rich can't die like this. 759 00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:38,662 No! 760 00:44:38,664 --> 00:44:41,581 (gophers growling) 761 00:45:03,030 --> 00:45:08,030 - Men, all this stuff you hear about caddies 762 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:11,038 not wanting to work and only wanting 763 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,948 to goof off and party hard 764 00:45:13,950 --> 00:45:16,798 is a load of bullocky. 765 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,438 Caddies love to work. 766 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:23,488 A caddy must be alert at all times 767 00:45:23,490 --> 00:45:27,298 if he expects to keep his job. 768 00:45:27,300 --> 00:45:28,708 - Where are you going with this, Hambone? 769 00:45:28,710 --> 00:45:30,164 - Come on, man. 770 00:45:30,166 --> 00:45:32,608 I got a whole speech to do here. 771 00:45:32,610 --> 00:45:35,068 - Make it quick, the Biggles has partying to do. 772 00:45:35,070 --> 00:45:38,428 There will be no partying for you boys tonight, 773 00:45:38,430 --> 00:45:42,568 for each caddy must not think only of himself, 774 00:45:42,570 --> 00:45:44,938 but must think of the golfers 775 00:45:44,940 --> 00:45:48,176 that walk these greens every day. 776 00:45:48,178 --> 00:45:49,018 - What are you telling us, Hambone? 777 00:45:49,020 --> 00:45:50,103 We gotta stay late? 778 00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:53,308 - This is bunk, dog. 779 00:45:53,310 --> 00:45:54,958 - It's not bunk. 780 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:58,108 And would you guys let me finish my speech? 781 00:45:58,110 --> 00:46:01,048 I worked really hard on it. 782 00:46:01,050 --> 00:46:02,608 - Forget this, I got stuff to do. 783 00:46:02,610 --> 00:46:03,868 - Be seated. 784 00:46:03,870 --> 00:46:04,781 - Oh Jesus. 785 00:46:04,783 --> 00:46:08,068 - Listen up, you no good bitch wipes. 786 00:46:08,070 --> 00:46:10,938 You're all staying and no one's leaving 787 00:46:10,940 --> 00:46:13,173 until your mission is complete. 788 00:46:14,310 --> 00:46:18,658 There comes a point in every caddy's life 789 00:46:18,660 --> 00:46:23,493 when he must decide if he is a boy or a man. 790 00:46:24,803 --> 00:46:28,678 Sure, we might hate our jobs. 791 00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:33,680 Sure, we might go home and look in the mirror 792 00:46:34,380 --> 00:46:38,488 and pray to a God we know isn't even listening 793 00:46:38,490 --> 00:46:42,988 to have just a bit of mercy and end our lives. 794 00:46:42,990 --> 00:46:45,633 Sure, we may go home, 795 00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:50,458 cover our genitalia in peanut butter 796 00:46:50,460 --> 00:46:55,048 only to remember your dog died three years prior, 797 00:46:55,050 --> 00:46:56,793 but that is not today. 798 00:46:57,630 --> 00:47:02,630 Today we go out there as boys and we will return heroes. 799 00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:04,433 - Yeah! 800 00:47:05,670 --> 00:47:08,103 - We will return men. 801 00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:14,338 One day when you're sitting in your favorite chair 802 00:47:14,340 --> 00:47:16,962 and your grandkids ask you 803 00:47:16,964 --> 00:47:20,188 what the greatest day of your life was, 804 00:47:20,190 --> 00:47:21,663 it will be this day. 805 00:47:22,830 --> 00:47:26,098 And they will look at you with pride 806 00:47:26,100 --> 00:47:30,298 spewing out of their eyes like diarrhea. 807 00:47:30,300 --> 00:47:31,863 Like diarrhea! 808 00:47:32,730 --> 00:47:36,748 Now let's get out there and give them everything we got! 809 00:47:36,750 --> 00:47:38,068 - [All] Yeah! 810 00:47:38,070 --> 00:47:42,568 - Make me proud boys! Make me proud! 811 00:47:42,570 --> 00:47:43,403 - Yeah! 812 00:47:44,993 --> 00:47:45,977 - [Caddies] Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 813 00:47:47,309 --> 00:47:49,410 Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 814 00:47:49,412 --> 00:47:52,475 Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 815 00:47:52,477 --> 00:47:55,744 Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 816 00:47:55,746 --> 00:47:57,810 Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 817 00:47:57,812 --> 00:47:59,093 Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 818 00:48:00,042 --> 00:48:04,067 Proud, proud, proud, proud, proud. 819 00:48:16,455 --> 00:48:19,918 - Oh, shit, I forgot to tell them what they were doing. 820 00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:21,993 Hey guys, guys! 821 00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:33,178 - What's Hambone's damage, man? 822 00:48:33,180 --> 00:48:35,158 He's got us out here like we're animal control. 823 00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,378 I know, right? We should be by the pool 824 00:48:37,380 --> 00:48:39,483 drinking a cold can of... 825 00:48:39,485 --> 00:48:40,468 Booze! 826 00:48:40,470 --> 00:48:41,303 - Hold it! 827 00:48:45,579 --> 00:48:47,948 - It looks like today's my lucky day. 828 00:48:47,950 --> 00:48:50,450 (tense music) 829 00:48:53,364 --> 00:48:56,364 (creature laughing) 830 00:48:57,550 --> 00:48:58,633 - Oh my face. 831 00:48:59,730 --> 00:49:00,990 So not cool. 832 00:49:02,070 --> 00:49:03,418 - You stupid fool. 833 00:49:03,420 --> 00:49:06,020 That's what you get for taking another man's, booze! 834 00:49:09,608 --> 00:49:13,318 (creature laughing) 835 00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:15,508 - I'm really happy you showed that golfer up. 836 00:49:15,510 --> 00:49:19,168 But did you have to go best of 37 with him? 837 00:49:19,170 --> 00:49:21,670 - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you in the 838 00:49:23,220 --> 00:49:24,933 down there every time. 839 00:49:25,980 --> 00:49:28,888 - I'm not even sure he was using regulation balls. 840 00:49:28,890 --> 00:49:30,748 They seemed wide. 841 00:49:30,750 --> 00:49:33,796 You managed to hit me in the plumbs every time. 842 00:49:33,798 --> 00:49:35,728 But I can't give you all the credit. 843 00:49:35,730 --> 00:49:38,728 It must have gotten easier as they swelled up. 844 00:49:38,730 --> 00:49:40,078 - You probably didn't even have to be 845 00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:41,518 standing out there to judge. 846 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,198 We could have just walked to the balls. 847 00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,213 - Yeah, that's good to know now. 848 00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:48,928 - I had a great time with you today, Googie. 849 00:49:48,930 --> 00:49:49,763 - Me too. 850 00:49:50,730 --> 00:49:52,498 My sperm holders, not so much, 851 00:49:52,500 --> 00:49:55,858 but I had a really great time. 852 00:49:55,860 --> 00:49:57,028 - I know you had to be forced 853 00:49:57,030 --> 00:49:59,158 into showing me the ropes around here, 854 00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:00,753 but I'm glad it was you. 855 00:50:03,087 --> 00:50:04,337 - I'm glad it was me too. 856 00:50:06,750 --> 00:50:09,153 - Look, there's something I have to tell you. 857 00:50:10,830 --> 00:50:12,453 - Is it gonna hurt my feelings? 858 00:50:13,380 --> 00:50:15,208 - Why would you ask that? 859 00:50:15,210 --> 00:50:18,118 - Because no one ever says, I've got to tell you something 860 00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:20,188 if it's gonna be good news. 861 00:50:20,190 --> 00:50:23,013 - Would it help if I told you in song? 862 00:50:24,660 --> 00:50:25,893 - It might. 863 00:50:27,150 --> 00:50:28,563 - Yo, keyboard guy, 864 00:50:30,030 --> 00:50:32,117 lay me down something noice! 865 00:50:34,036 --> 00:50:36,619 (lively music) 866 00:50:53,181 --> 00:50:57,207 ♪ There's a thing I've been meaning to tell ya ♪ 867 00:50:57,209 --> 00:51:01,398 ♪ I'm hoping that you feel the same ♪ 868 00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:05,750 ♪ I see you on the green and my heart just starts melting ♪ 869 00:51:05,752 --> 00:51:10,732 ♪ Even though you probably don't have much game ♪ 870 00:51:10,734 --> 00:51:11,945 ♪ I'm balls deep ♪ 871 00:51:11,947 --> 00:51:13,511 ♪ Balls deep ♪ 872 00:51:13,513 --> 00:51:15,404 ♪ I'm balls deep in love ♪ 873 00:51:15,406 --> 00:51:18,196 ♪ Balls deep ♪ 874 00:51:18,198 --> 00:51:19,896 ♪ I'm balls deep in love ♪ 875 00:51:19,898 --> 00:51:21,043 ♪ I'm balls deep ♪ 876 00:51:21,045 --> 00:51:22,650 ♪ Balls deep ♪ 877 00:51:22,652 --> 00:51:27,652 ♪ I'm balls deep in love ♪ 878 00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,511 ♪ My love swells ♪ 879 00:51:30,513 --> 00:51:33,283 ♪ Just like my balls ♪ 880 00:51:33,285 --> 00:51:34,702 ♪ I swung so well ♪ 881 00:51:34,704 --> 00:51:37,619 ♪ And I caught them all ♪ 882 00:51:37,621 --> 00:51:41,597 ♪ Sorry, I hit you with every shot ♪ 883 00:51:41,599 --> 00:51:46,599 ♪ My balls still hurt but I like you a lot ♪ 884 00:51:46,885 --> 00:51:48,320 ♪ I'm getting wet ♪ 885 00:51:48,322 --> 00:51:51,550 ♪ Like the balls in the lake ♪ 886 00:51:51,552 --> 00:51:54,923 ♪ Feel kind of bad I took this on as a fake ♪ 887 00:51:54,925 --> 00:51:56,029 ♪ You mean you lied ♪ 888 00:51:56,031 --> 00:52:00,162 ♪ My uncle said you guys were rebels ♪ 889 00:52:00,164 --> 00:52:05,164 ♪ Who knew I could fall in love this fast ♪ 890 00:52:06,381 --> 00:52:11,381 ♪ Who knew I could fall in love this fast ♪ 891 00:52:13,268 --> 00:52:17,914 ♪ Don't go ♪ ♪ I gotta go ♪ 892 00:52:17,916 --> 00:52:19,783 ♪ 'Cause I'm still balls deep ♪ 893 00:52:19,785 --> 00:52:20,895 ♪ I'm pulling out ♪ 894 00:52:20,897 --> 00:52:22,290 ♪ Pulling out ♪ ♪ Balls deep ♪ 895 00:52:22,292 --> 00:52:23,396 ♪ Pulling out ♪ ♪ Balls deep ♪ 896 00:52:23,398 --> 00:52:24,509 ♪ Pulling out ♪ ♪ Balls deep ♪ 897 00:52:24,511 --> 00:52:25,494 ♪ Pulling out ♪ ♪ Balls deep ♪ 898 00:52:25,496 --> 00:52:26,510 ♪ Pulling out ♪ ♪ Balls deep ♪ 899 00:52:26,512 --> 00:52:27,494 ♪ Pulling out ♪ ♪ Balls deep ♪ 900 00:52:27,496 --> 00:52:32,496 ♪ I'm balls deep in love ♪ 901 00:52:35,547 --> 00:52:40,523 ♪ Balls deep in love ♪ 902 00:52:40,525 --> 00:52:41,434 ♪ Pulling out ♪ 903 00:52:41,436 --> 00:52:42,633 ♪ Pulling out ♪ 904 00:52:42,635 --> 00:52:43,662 ♪ Pulling out ♪ 905 00:52:43,664 --> 00:52:44,952 ♪ Pulling out ♪ 906 00:52:44,954 --> 00:52:49,037 ♪ Pulling out ♪ 907 00:53:04,923 --> 00:53:07,506 (man groaning) 908 00:53:09,223 --> 00:53:11,428 - I can't believe she lied to me 909 00:53:11,430 --> 00:53:14,703 even after we made up that impromptu song right on the spot. 910 00:53:15,660 --> 00:53:18,903 Balls deep, balls deep in love. 911 00:53:20,430 --> 00:53:23,638 - Oh no, not Cliff. 912 00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:25,858 Everybody loved Cliff. 913 00:53:25,860 --> 00:53:28,503 Who would do this to poor, sweet Cliff? 914 00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,371 - Wassup? 915 00:53:31,373 --> 00:53:33,603 - Hey little gopher, nice guy. 916 00:53:35,430 --> 00:53:36,570 Oh, oh my. 917 00:53:36,572 --> 00:53:39,572 (creature laughing) 918 00:53:43,740 --> 00:53:45,328 - I'm done. 919 00:53:45,330 --> 00:53:47,338 And before you tell me you knew I couldn't do it 920 00:53:47,340 --> 00:53:48,298 because I have a pussy. 921 00:53:48,300 --> 00:53:49,353 That's not it. 922 00:53:51,229 --> 00:53:53,616 (creature growling) 923 00:53:53,618 --> 00:53:56,368 (dramatic music) 924 00:53:58,820 --> 00:54:01,903 (creatures growling) 925 00:54:18,659 --> 00:54:23,659 (creatures growling) (man yelling) 926 00:54:28,889 --> 00:54:31,389 (man yelling) 927 00:54:33,029 --> 00:54:38,029 - [Gopher] Hambone. 928 00:54:51,977 --> 00:54:54,810 (Hambone yelling) 929 00:55:00,420 --> 00:55:02,717 - You crap folds wanna go to war? 930 00:55:04,164 --> 00:55:06,718 Well, I've been to war 931 00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:08,968 and I don't think you queef wads 932 00:55:08,970 --> 00:55:12,268 would last one day with the shit I've seen. 933 00:55:12,270 --> 00:55:15,088 You think you're ready to enter Hambone's world? 934 00:55:15,090 --> 00:55:17,488 You wanna settle this like men 935 00:55:17,490 --> 00:55:20,968 and not like the piss flaps you know you are. 936 00:55:20,970 --> 00:55:22,070 - [Gopher] Piss flaps. 937 00:55:25,860 --> 00:55:29,188 - The game's called Russian Roulette. 938 00:55:29,190 --> 00:55:30,993 It's a game of chance. 939 00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:34,480 It's played with this revolver 940 00:55:35,910 --> 00:55:36,838 and this, 941 00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,208 a single bullet. 942 00:55:39,210 --> 00:55:41,583 We take this one bad boy, 943 00:55:42,720 --> 00:55:46,473 load it into this death pistol, 944 00:55:48,810 --> 00:55:50,133 spin the cylinder, 945 00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:55,900 put the muzzle to our head and pull the trigger. 946 00:56:07,827 --> 00:56:11,361 (gopher laughing) 947 00:56:11,363 --> 00:56:14,196 (Hambone yelling) 948 00:56:15,817 --> 00:56:18,400 (upbeat music) 949 00:56:50,314 --> 00:56:55,228 Okay, you cut fucking clit jackets, back up! 950 00:56:55,230 --> 00:56:57,178 Let me outta here. 951 00:56:57,180 --> 00:57:00,545 Or I swear to God I'll send his brains all over this- 952 00:57:00,547 --> 00:57:01,824 (gophers growling) 953 00:57:01,826 --> 00:57:04,826 (Hambone screaming) 954 00:57:09,617 --> 00:57:11,731 My horoscope was right. 955 00:57:11,733 --> 00:57:14,316 (upbeat music) 956 00:57:16,593 --> 00:57:19,738 I've been wasting my whole night 957 00:57:19,740 --> 00:57:22,348 looking for some freaking gophers, 958 00:57:22,350 --> 00:57:24,208 I couldn't find the damn one of them. 959 00:57:24,210 --> 00:57:27,110 - Well, maybe we would've if we left the shack and looked. 960 00:57:27,990 --> 00:57:30,783 - Man, I'd rather be out there hunting beaver. 961 00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:35,488 - Oh, speaking of beaver. 962 00:57:35,490 --> 00:57:37,138 - There's no time for jokes. 963 00:57:37,140 --> 00:57:39,448 We have a major crisis on our hands. 964 00:57:39,450 --> 00:57:40,558 It's the gophers. 965 00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:42,358 These things have mutated, 966 00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:44,428 while you're in here drinking your life away 967 00:57:44,430 --> 00:57:46,468 the other caddies are out there being killed. 968 00:57:46,470 --> 00:57:49,413 - Nice try tuts, like we're gonna fall for that. 969 00:57:50,281 --> 00:57:54,838 - Guys, we have a major crisis on our hands. 970 00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:56,278 It's the gophers. 971 00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:59,523 They've mutated and they're out there killing everyone. 972 00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:01,413 - I don't know, yo. 973 00:58:03,450 --> 00:58:06,598 A woman and a nerd? 974 00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:10,738 I probably need one more side of this 975 00:58:10,740 --> 00:58:13,828 to be fully committed to the idea 976 00:58:13,830 --> 00:58:16,798 that there are mutated gophers 977 00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:19,043 running around killing suckers. 978 00:58:19,045 --> 00:58:21,712 (door creaking) 979 00:58:25,029 --> 00:58:27,946 (Hambone grunting) 980 00:58:57,646 --> 00:58:58,729 - Maybe I can 981 00:59:05,339 --> 00:59:06,172 be of 982 00:59:08,091 --> 00:59:08,924 some 983 00:59:12,635 --> 00:59:13,552 assistance. 984 00:59:17,248 --> 00:59:18,665 Glad I didn't die 985 00:59:32,403 --> 00:59:37,403 so I could crawl here 986 00:59:40,470 --> 00:59:45,083 and confirm this woman and this nerd's story. 987 00:59:56,670 --> 00:59:58,323 911 was an inside job. 988 00:59:59,351 --> 01:00:02,458 (Hambone farts) 989 01:00:02,460 --> 01:00:03,958 - This is rectum shit. 990 01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:05,608 If there's mutated gophers out there, 991 01:00:05,610 --> 01:00:07,466 I got something they can eat right here. 992 01:00:07,468 --> 01:00:12,468 (rock music) (group yelling) 993 01:00:17,422 --> 01:00:19,108 - [Radio Host] This is a special request coming out 994 01:00:19,110 --> 01:00:22,738 to the cats over at the Old Glory Olds Golf Club. 995 01:00:22,740 --> 01:00:24,457 Good luck getting that mutative gopher 996 01:00:24,459 --> 01:00:26,876 off your friends b-b-b-balls. 997 01:00:33,708 --> 01:00:34,541 - Jab 'em! 998 01:00:43,263 --> 01:00:48,263 ♪ We'll be there for you ♪ 999 01:00:51,347 --> 01:00:56,347 ♪ We'll be there for you ♪ 1000 01:00:57,748 --> 01:01:01,069 ♪ When you've had enough ♪ 1001 01:01:01,071 --> 01:01:04,897 ♪ And it hasn't been your day ♪ 1002 01:01:04,899 --> 01:01:06,448 ♪ We'll be there for you ♪ 1003 01:01:06,450 --> 01:01:08,202 (gopher screeches) 1004 01:01:08,204 --> 01:01:09,037 - Yowzer. 1005 01:01:12,565 --> 01:01:15,398 (Caddies yelling) 1006 01:01:18,583 --> 01:01:20,398 - I think he's dead. 1007 01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:23,248 - Shit, he wasn't lying. 1008 01:01:23,250 --> 01:01:25,258 Well, now what are we gonna do? 1009 01:01:25,260 --> 01:01:26,728 I think we should- 1010 01:01:26,730 --> 01:01:28,768 - We wasn't talking to you pecker weed, 1011 01:01:28,770 --> 01:01:29,870 We was talking to her. 1012 01:01:32,429 --> 01:01:35,012 (upbeat music) 1013 01:01:41,940 --> 01:01:46,940 ♪ We've gotta work together ♪ 1014 01:01:49,430 --> 01:01:54,430 ♪ We've gotta work together ♪ 1015 01:01:55,108 --> 01:01:58,508 ♪ Sitting on your own ♪ 1016 01:01:58,510 --> 01:02:02,168 ♪ You won't get nothing done ♪ 1017 01:02:02,170 --> 01:02:05,413 ♪ So pick up yourself ♪ 1018 01:02:05,415 --> 01:02:09,572 ♪ It's better in the long run ♪ 1019 01:02:09,574 --> 01:02:12,922 ♪ We've got to do this together ♪ 1020 01:02:12,924 --> 01:02:17,342 ♪ And work at it as a team ♪ 1021 01:02:17,344 --> 01:02:20,889 ♪ No time for riding solo ♪ 1022 01:02:20,891 --> 01:02:25,085 ♪ Let's move ahead at full steam ♪ 1023 01:02:25,087 --> 01:02:30,087 ♪ Ah, we've gotta work together ♪ 1024 01:02:31,785 --> 01:02:36,785 ♪ Ah, we've got to work together ♪ 1025 01:02:40,887 --> 01:02:42,298 - Oh, song's over. 1026 01:02:42,300 --> 01:02:43,658 I guess we're ready. 1027 01:02:43,660 --> 01:02:48,660 - [Caddies] Yeah! 1028 01:02:48,964 --> 01:02:53,032 - Clear my browser history. 1029 01:02:53,034 --> 01:02:58,034 (gophers yelling) (gun firing) 1030 01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:02,125 - Look, Becky... 1031 01:03:02,127 --> 01:03:04,168 - No, you fucking look. 1032 01:03:04,170 --> 01:03:05,608 I don't know if I love you, 1033 01:03:05,610 --> 01:03:08,638 but I'm gonna need some serious dick after this tonight 1034 01:03:08,640 --> 01:03:10,190 and you're gonna give it to me. 1035 01:03:15,289 --> 01:03:18,789 - How many of these cum boogers are there? 1036 01:03:23,363 --> 01:03:27,113 (gophers speaking gibberish) 1037 01:03:31,124 --> 01:03:33,707 (upbeat music) 1038 01:03:39,028 --> 01:03:41,945 (gopher screaming) 1039 01:03:49,543 --> 01:03:51,876 - Oh yeah, man, stereotypes. 1040 01:03:53,190 --> 01:03:55,963 - Yass, queen, I'm your hole in one. 1041 01:03:57,885 --> 01:04:00,552 (gopher laughs) 1042 01:04:04,039 --> 01:04:05,539 - You naughty boy! 1043 01:04:08,418 --> 01:04:11,032 - (laughs) what do you think? 1044 01:04:11,034 --> 01:04:13,617 (upbeat music) 1045 01:04:17,569 --> 01:04:19,736 - Bitch, where's my money? 1046 01:04:21,604 --> 01:04:24,187 (upbeat music) 1047 01:04:46,329 --> 01:04:51,251 - We outta beer, we gonna have to do something about that. 1048 01:04:51,253 --> 01:04:53,020 - It's dreadful, but I've got an idea. 1049 01:04:53,022 --> 01:04:56,299 Let's go. 1050 01:04:56,301 --> 01:04:58,968 (playful music) 1051 01:05:05,735 --> 01:05:08,235 (tense music) 1052 01:05:34,936 --> 01:05:39,873 - [Gopher] He might be on to us. 1053 01:05:39,875 --> 01:05:42,875 (car alarm blaring) 1054 01:06:08,520 --> 01:06:10,288 - These tip plugs took over our shack. 1055 01:06:10,290 --> 01:06:11,368 We have to get them. 1056 01:06:11,370 --> 01:06:13,726 - There's just too many of them. 1057 01:06:13,728 --> 01:06:16,514 I think I know someone who can help us out. 1058 01:06:16,516 --> 01:06:18,933 (rock music) 1059 01:06:23,430 --> 01:06:27,748 So this is my brother's room, he's a loser. 1060 01:06:27,750 --> 01:06:31,048 He's pretty much in there all day, all night 1061 01:06:31,050 --> 01:06:33,688 writing his blog about making bombs 1062 01:06:33,690 --> 01:06:35,043 and blowing up his school. 1063 01:06:36,300 --> 01:06:38,553 He's a real lost cause. 1064 01:06:39,810 --> 01:06:41,908 He's not as cool as us. 1065 01:06:41,910 --> 01:06:43,623 He's probably still a virgin. 1066 01:06:44,490 --> 01:06:46,438 - That sounds like a good setup to a joke 1067 01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:47,790 that's gonna come later on. 1068 01:06:48,960 --> 01:06:50,188 - He's probably masturbating 1069 01:06:50,190 --> 01:06:52,203 to the videos of the Columbine massacre. 1070 01:06:53,175 --> 01:06:56,092 (knocking on door) 1071 01:06:58,647 --> 01:07:01,648 - What do you want, we're doing stuff in here. 1072 01:07:01,650 --> 01:07:04,350 - Barry, I need your help. 1073 01:07:06,136 --> 01:07:09,088 - My help. You want my help? 1074 01:07:09,090 --> 01:07:10,978 For over 13 years, I've been oppressed 1075 01:07:10,980 --> 01:07:12,898 and you want my help? 1076 01:07:12,900 --> 01:07:14,128 It's funny how a person tries 1077 01:07:14,130 --> 01:07:15,838 to live life and is chastised, 1078 01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:17,431 but if they're helpful to your cause- 1079 01:07:17,433 --> 01:07:20,578 - Look, I've read your blog about how 1080 01:07:20,580 --> 01:07:21,808 you wanna blow up your school. 1081 01:07:21,810 --> 01:07:23,073 - You've read my blog? 1082 01:07:23,910 --> 01:07:24,741 - Yes. 1083 01:07:24,743 --> 01:07:26,458 And it seems like you have an idea 1084 01:07:26,460 --> 01:07:28,708 on how to make homemade bombs, so... 1085 01:07:28,710 --> 01:07:30,238 - You read my blog? 1086 01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:31,933 - Dammit, Barry, you freak... 1087 01:07:32,940 --> 01:07:35,638 Freaking awesome brother, yes! 1088 01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:40,041 So, you gonna show us how to make homemade bombs or not? 1089 01:07:40,043 --> 01:07:41,324 - Okay, time to go. 1090 01:07:41,326 --> 01:07:43,909 (upbeat music) 1091 01:07:59,873 --> 01:08:01,855 - So what are we blowing up? 1092 01:08:01,857 --> 01:08:04,857 (upbeat rock music) 1093 01:08:16,396 --> 01:08:17,227 (gun fires) 1094 01:08:17,229 --> 01:08:19,048 - We'll never kill these scum wads. 1095 01:08:19,050 --> 01:08:21,163 We gotta rethink this. 1096 01:08:21,165 --> 01:08:23,661 Wait, I have an idea. 1097 01:08:23,663 --> 01:08:26,663 (upbeat rock music) 1098 01:08:32,351 --> 01:08:33,684 - Do it, Googie! 1099 01:08:36,574 --> 01:08:39,574 (gophers screaming) 1100 01:08:48,381 --> 01:08:51,131 (drill whirring) 1101 01:08:54,797 --> 01:08:57,380 (somber music) 1102 01:09:49,241 --> 01:09:51,379 - Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. 1103 01:09:51,381 --> 01:09:52,212 - I planted out all the bombs. 1104 01:09:52,214 --> 01:09:55,258 Now all I have to do is activate this last one 1105 01:09:55,260 --> 01:09:56,583 and press this button in. 1106 01:09:58,549 --> 01:10:00,861 (bleep) 1107 01:10:00,863 --> 01:10:04,252 (bombs explode) 1108 01:10:04,254 --> 01:10:07,171 (caddies laughing) 1109 01:10:14,531 --> 01:10:18,005 (upbeat rock music) 1110 01:10:18,007 --> 01:10:19,783 (gentle music) 1111 01:10:19,785 --> 01:10:23,004 (upbeat rock music) 1112 01:10:23,006 --> 01:10:27,016 ♪ Don't look at other people ♪ 1113 01:10:27,018 --> 01:10:28,923 ♪ Just be happy ♪ 1114 01:10:28,925 --> 01:10:31,842 (explosion erupts) 1115 01:10:40,133 --> 01:10:42,633 - Becky, what are we gonna do? 1116 01:10:45,210 --> 01:10:47,463 - What needs to be done, bitch. 1117 01:10:50,987 --> 01:10:54,448 (monster roars) 1118 01:10:54,450 --> 01:10:58,536 You got this Becky, just concentrate on the bomb. 1119 01:10:58,538 --> 01:11:01,001 Be one with the bomb. 1120 01:11:01,003 --> 01:11:02,753 Be one with the bomb. 1121 01:11:08,348 --> 01:11:11,265 (explosion erupts) 1122 01:11:13,287 --> 01:11:16,468 (caddies laughing) 1123 01:11:16,470 --> 01:11:17,818 - Fucking kiss me. 1124 01:11:17,820 --> 01:11:20,908 - Whoa, did you see that giant gopher explode? 1125 01:11:20,910 --> 01:11:21,808 Well, you know what that means. 1126 01:11:21,810 --> 01:11:23,218 That means it's the end of the movie 1127 01:11:23,220 --> 01:11:25,225 and that means it's the end of your good pal. 1128 01:11:25,227 --> 01:11:27,688 W-W-W-Wacky Willie. 1129 01:11:27,690 --> 01:11:29,068 And if you didn't like the film, 1130 01:11:29,070 --> 01:11:31,418 you can kiss my putt. 1131 01:11:31,420 --> 01:11:35,128 All right kids, this is Wacky Willy signing off, 1132 01:11:35,130 --> 01:11:36,363 see you in the sequel. 1133 01:11:37,996 --> 01:11:42,115 ♪ Don't look at other people ♪ 1134 01:11:42,117 --> 01:11:46,365 ♪ Just be happy with who you are ♪ 1135 01:11:46,367 --> 01:11:50,596 ♪ Don't follow the crowd of the masses ♪ 1136 01:11:50,598 --> 01:11:54,738 ♪ Be yourself and you'll be okay ♪ 1137 01:11:54,740 --> 01:11:58,852 ♪ Don't look at other people ♪ 1138 01:11:58,854 --> 01:12:03,023 ♪ Just be happy with who you are ♪ 1139 01:12:03,025 --> 01:12:07,163 ♪ Don't follow the crowd of the masses ♪ 1140 01:12:07,165 --> 01:12:11,379 ♪ Be yourself and you'll be okay ♪ 1141 01:12:11,381 --> 01:12:16,381 ♪ Don't be aspire to be something that you're not ♪ 1142 01:12:16,574 --> 01:12:20,209 ♪ Just be yourself ♪ 1143 01:12:20,211 --> 01:12:24,839 ♪ And everyone else will follow the crowd ♪ 1144 01:12:24,841 --> 01:12:28,309 ♪ Stand up and shout loud ♪ 1145 01:12:28,311 --> 01:12:33,311 ♪ Just be who you're meant to be ♪ 1146 01:12:33,372 --> 01:12:36,596 ♪ And you'll be free ♪ 1147 01:12:36,598 --> 01:12:41,535 ♪ Just be the person that you are ♪ 1148 01:12:41,537 --> 01:12:44,826 ♪ You're a shining star ♪ 1149 01:12:44,828 --> 01:12:48,974 ♪ Don't look at other people ♪ 1150 01:12:48,976 --> 01:12:53,061 ♪ Just be happy with who you are ♪ 1151 01:12:53,063 --> 01:12:57,530 ♪ Don't follow the crowd of the masses ♪ 1152 01:12:57,532 --> 01:13:02,532 ♪ Be yourself and be ♪ 1153 01:13:02,762 --> 01:13:05,022 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1154 01:13:05,024 --> 01:13:07,259 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1155 01:13:07,261 --> 01:13:09,624 ♪ Caddy's got a problem at the local golf club ♪ 1156 01:13:09,626 --> 01:13:12,088 ♪ The little homie Googie is falling in love ♪ 1157 01:13:12,090 --> 01:13:13,305 ♪ The gophers are scary ♪ 1158 01:13:13,307 --> 01:13:14,597 ♪ The gophers are tough ♪ 1159 01:13:14,599 --> 01:13:15,701 ♪ They're eating human flesh ♪ 1160 01:13:15,703 --> 01:13:17,138 ♪ They can't get enough ♪ 1161 01:13:17,140 --> 01:13:19,475 ♪ Wells Landon is the owner and his always making fun ♪ 1162 01:13:19,477 --> 01:13:20,597 ♪ But he's got a little problem ♪ 1163 01:13:20,599 --> 01:13:22,041 ♪ And it's getting on the run ♪ 1164 01:13:22,043 --> 01:13:23,298 ♪ Hambone shoots some fertilizer ♪ 1165 01:13:23,300 --> 01:13:24,353 ♪ Keeping grass green ♪ 1166 01:13:24,355 --> 01:13:27,193 ♪ But the special chemicals are making gophers mean ♪ 1167 01:13:27,195 --> 01:13:29,369 ♪ The caddies are the best, they're world renowned ♪ 1168 01:13:29,371 --> 01:13:32,028 ♪ But little monsters are putting people underground ♪ 1169 01:13:32,030 --> 01:13:34,231 ♪ Calling on Googie, the hero we need ♪ 1170 01:13:34,233 --> 01:13:36,992 ♪ But he's a little nerd who just loves to read ♪ 1171 01:13:36,994 --> 01:13:38,234 ♪ Becky's a bad chick ♪ 1172 01:13:38,236 --> 01:13:39,449 ♪ She drives the balls far ♪ 1173 01:13:39,451 --> 01:13:41,854 ♪ A hole in one for the greens in Googie's front yard ♪ 1174 01:13:41,856 --> 01:13:43,145 ♪ Wells Landon is worried ♪ 1175 01:13:43,147 --> 01:13:45,509 ♪ He calls an Hambone ♪ ♪ He's ready for attack ♪ 1176 01:13:45,511 --> 01:13:46,940 ♪ But he won't alive ♪ 1177 01:13:46,942 --> 01:13:48,302 ♪ You bring the beers ♪ 1178 01:13:48,304 --> 01:13:49,418 ♪ We'll bring the rifle ♪ 1179 01:13:49,420 --> 01:13:54,420 ♪ But before we go out hunting it's dance off time ♪ 1180 01:14:05,118 --> 01:14:07,088 ♪ Get shot ♪ 1181 01:14:07,090 --> 01:14:09,288 ♪ The movie has ended, we hope you enjoyed it ♪ 1182 01:14:09,290 --> 01:14:12,062 ♪ Because the cast and crew were all appointed ♪ 1183 01:14:12,064 --> 01:14:14,271 ♪ Jim Gordon, he's a good friend ♪ 1184 01:14:14,273 --> 01:14:16,657 ♪ It was a pleasure working with him ♪ 1185 01:14:16,659 --> 01:14:19,147 ♪ All of the actors, they love to pretend ♪ 1186 01:14:19,149 --> 01:14:21,785 ♪ After this they'll never work again ♪ 1187 01:14:21,787 --> 01:14:24,156 ♪ We were going for R, but it's PG 13 ♪ 1188 01:14:24,158 --> 01:14:26,721 ♪ Couldn't get no movies on that screen ♪ 1189 01:14:26,723 --> 01:14:29,410 ♪ We did the best we could ♪ ♪ We hope that you loved it ♪ 1190 01:14:29,412 --> 01:14:31,729 ♪ Keep in mind the $2 budget ♪ 1191 01:14:31,731 --> 01:14:34,127 ♪ We loved doing this, it was a ton of fun ♪ 1192 01:14:34,129 --> 01:14:37,212 ♪ No gophers were harmed ♪ ♪ Maybe just one ♪ 1193 01:14:37,214 --> 01:14:39,522 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1194 01:14:39,524 --> 01:14:42,063 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1195 01:14:42,065 --> 01:14:44,649 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1196 01:14:44,651 --> 01:14:47,165 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1197 01:14:47,167 --> 01:14:51,628 ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ ♪ Caddy Hack ♪ 1198 01:14:51,630 --> 01:14:52,683 - Oh! 1199 01:14:54,878 --> 01:14:57,461 (film reeling)