WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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<i>Love, the most
powerful force in the universe.</i>

4
00:00:18.990 --> 00:00:21.254
<i>Or so some say.</i>

5
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<i>At the dawn of mankind,
the selection of a mate
was a matter of survival.</i>

6
00:00:26.135 --> 00:00:28.000
<i>Eventually, people began
to choose partners</i>

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<i>out of loyalty
to family or tribe.</i>

8
00:00:30.199 --> 00:00:33.173
<i>The industrial revolution
gave us the telegraph
and the telephone,</i>

9
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<i>the 90's the internet,
and today, with the metaverse</i>

10
00:00:35.605 --> 00:00:37.342
<i>nearly indistinguishable
from real life,</i>

11
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<i>most of us prefer to live,
laugh, and love virtually.</i>

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<i>Who am I?</i>

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<i>My name is Roddy Danger.</i>

14
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<i>And this is where it all began.</i>

15
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<i>I was working part time
stocking shelves
to pay the bills,</i>

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<i>maybe even earn
a few extra credits</i>

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00:00:58.330 --> 00:00:59.793
<i>for a power-up
or some new skins.</i>

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<i>I mean, I always believed
I was destined for more,</i>

19
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<i>but I didn't have
the confidence
to go after it...</i>

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<i>until I met her.</i>

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<i>Kimberly and I
have been together ever since.</i>

22
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<i>We've explored every inch
of the metaverse together.
She's been my rock.</i>

23
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<i>She was the one
who encouraged me
to pursue gaming full-time.</i>

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<i>Here.
I want you to have this.</i>

25
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<i>And as we grew together,
so did my spot
on the leaderboard.</i>

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<i>I was on top of the world...</i>

27
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<i>I'm so proud of you.
I knew you could it.</i>

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<i>...until I wasn't.</i>

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<i>It was a crippling defeat.</i>

30
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<i>Hey, did you maybe
wanna get up today?</i>

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<i>For a while,
I just felt like
I couldn't win.</i>

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<i>When I fell apart,
my relationship took the hit.</i>

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<i>No, it's fine.
Uh, we don't have to celebrate
my birthday this year.</i>

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<i>This is the second time
this is happening.</i>

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<i>I'm going to stay at my mom's
virtual cabin in New Hampshire.</i>

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<i>I don't blame her
for giving me an ultimatum.</i>

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<i>Okay.
But this is your
last chance, Roddy. I mean it.</i>

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<i>I'm lucky she gave me
another chance and this time,
I had to get it right.</i>

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Seriously?

40
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What is it, Shifrin?

41
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Sir.  Sir.

42
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I... Ugh.

43
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-  Thousand apologies
for the interruption.

44
00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:34.942
It seems very urgent.
You have a fight request.

45
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Well, who might you be?

46
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Subscribe.

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I accept.

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<i>Kluck versus Danger.</i>

49
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<i>Three, two, one.</i>

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<i>Fight.</i>

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Goodbye, Roddy.

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<i>An angry mob
of mostly peaceful protestors</i>

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<i>stormed Los Angeles city hall
last night,</i>

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<i>killing two and causing
millions in property damage,</i>

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<i>in the third night
of dangerous civil unrest.</i>

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Infections are spiking,
fatalities are on the rise

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and country-wide morale
is at an all-time low.

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In more pressing news,
last night brought yet another

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unsurprising victory
for video game fan-favorite,
Kalvin Kluck.

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Whoo, Kalvin! Oh, he's the best!

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We're lucky enough to get him
for an exclusive interview
right here tonight on the show.

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- Kalvin, welcome.
<i>- What's up?
Thanks for having me.</i>

63
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<i>- Subscribe.</i>
- We have subscribed.

64
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Oh, we subscribed so hard.
You were great last night.

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Congratulations on your victory
over relative new-comer,
Roddy Danger.

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People are saying
that the relationship

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between Danger
and his long-time girlfriend,
Kimberly Martin,

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- is on the rocks.
You gonna pounce on that?
-  <i>Most def.</i>

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Now tell me this.
Once you've hit it,

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will you or will you not
quit it?

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00:07:02.028 --> 00:07:04.457
<i>- Oh, probably.</i>
- You're a gentleman
and a scholar, my buddy.

72
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Oh! Very exciting stuff, Kalvin.
Thanks for joining us
on the show.

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I would like to take a moment
to thank our sponsors
for this stream.

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Payless Shoe Source
and the new Brunswick chapter
of Antifa.

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<i>Coming up next,
we'll spill the tea</i>

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<i>on why this star
of</i> Beverly Hills Bitches

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<i>and this NBA hopeful
are both being canceled.</i>

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<i>The answer might surprise you,
but it probably...</i>

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<i>More after the break.</i>

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Kimberly?

81
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Are you in here?

82
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I was just about
to clean up actually.

83
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I was planning on it
this morning.

84
00:08:02.654 --> 00:08:04.390
What do you want, Roddy?
I'm in...

85
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I'm not good right now.
I need her back.

86
00:08:07.190 --> 00:08:09.692
Well, maybe, you shouldn't have
acted like such a child.

87
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Okay. Well, at least
I'm not a racist.

88
00:08:11.765 --> 00:08:13.695
You're a prick,
and I'm going back to therapy.

89
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- Wait, wait, wait.
- What, Roddy?

90
00:08:15.364 --> 00:08:18.402
Can you just, like,
ask your therapist
what I should do?

91
00:08:18.504 --> 00:08:19.834
Like, a professional opinion?

92
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That's not what
therapists do. Goodbye.

93
00:08:22.844 --> 00:08:25.708
No, they're
professional opinion givers.
They give...

94
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They give opinions... professionally.

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Clarissa, is everything
all right?

96
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Sorry, that was my cousin,
Kimberly's boyfriend.

97
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Or I guess ex-boyfriend.
I don't know.
He's such an idiot.

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She thought
he was gonna propose...

99
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Yeah, listen, uh, Clarissa,
why don't we get back to talking
about you for a second, okay?

100
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Tell me. Why do you think
you're such a shallow,
worthless human being?

101
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Is that what you think of me?

102
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Is that, like, your
professional opinion, "Doctor"?

103
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Oh, forgive me, sweetheart.
I was just mirroring back

104
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<i>what you said to me
before you picked up
what seemed to be</i>

105
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a wholly unimportant
FaceTime call during a session.

106
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Right, right, right. Okay.
So, everyone hates me right now.

107
00:09:07.916 --> 00:09:10.121
Like, they fired me from <i>BHB.</i>

108
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I'm sorry. <i>BHB?</i>

109
00:09:11.788 --> 00:09:13.826
My show, <i>Beverly Hills Bitches.</i>

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Airing Sundays
at 9:00 p.m., only on TruTv.

111
00:09:16.428 --> 00:09:19.392
Oh, honey, sweetheart.
No, you don't have to plug it,
I'm not gonna watch.

112
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Well, basically, everyone's,
like, really mad or whatever

113
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because I didn't post
a black square on Instagram
on #BlackoutTuesday.

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<i>It was, like,
right after George Foreman
was murdered</i>

115
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<i>and everyone was, like,
pretending to care about
police brutality or whatever.</i>

116
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Yeah, I'm curious,
why didn't you?

117
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I thought everyone
was supposed to post it.

118
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- I don't know!
I was busy and I forgot!
- I see.

119
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So, now you feel like a...

120
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Go ahead. You can say it.

121
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A worthless,
shallow human being.

122
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Good girl. There you go.

123
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Okay. So, this is why
you were canceled?

124
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Well, no. No, I got canceled
because of the photo
that I posted instead.

125
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- Dear Lord!

126
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Is it that bad?

127
00:10:06.707 --> 00:10:09.115
Why would you post
something like that
on BlackoutTuesday?

128
00:10:09.217 --> 00:10:13.146
My account was on auto-post.
It was a paid ad from a sponsor
for a mud mask.

129
00:10:13.248 --> 00:10:14.914
Well, then why would you
caption it "BLDM"?

130
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It's #BleuDemure! It's French!

131
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Honestly, I thought
it was gonna be

132
00:10:19.592 --> 00:10:21.392
like the #PrayforParis thing.

133
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You know, I didn't know
everyone was gonna be,
like, oh, we're all doing this.

134
00:10:24.997 --> 00:10:27.095
I need prayers.
And where is everyone for me?

135
00:10:27.197 --> 00:10:29.529
You know, all prayers matter.
That's how I feel.

136
00:10:29.631 --> 00:10:32.065
<i>- And I feel like...</i>
<i>I so wish
you could hear</i>

137
00:10:32.167 --> 00:10:33.506
<i>what this girl
is saying right now.</i>

138
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<i>I just have no tolerance
for racism.</i>

139
00:10:36.437 --> 00:10:39.009
<i>Where are you
right now? At a rally?</i>

140
00:10:39.144 --> 00:10:43.149
<i>No, I'm with a patient.
But... yeah, yeah.</i>

141
00:10:43.251 --> 00:10:46.316
<i>And you know what?
We just pulled down
a statue of Mister Rogers.</i>

142
00:10:46.451 --> 00:10:49.514
<i>That is so hot
that you're involved
in social justice.</i>

143
00:10:49.650 --> 00:10:54.553
<i>My wife wouldn't be caught dead
at a rally.</i>

144
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He's obsessed. It's like
there's a wall up between us.

145
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- He doesn't see me.
- It's my job!

146
00:10:58.731 --> 00:11:00.463
- Yeah.
<i>- I have to be obsessed.</i>

147
00:11:00.565 --> 00:11:02.803
- It's like you're last at bat
and the bases are loaded...
- If I can...

148
00:11:02.905 --> 00:11:04.863
...and all of the sudden, boom,
you're in the penalty box.

149
00:11:04.965 --> 00:11:07.507
- You have no idea
what he is talking about.
- Do I have to spell it out?

150
00:11:07.609 --> 00:11:09.001
- Everything is canceled.
- Yeah, but...

151
00:11:09.103 --> 00:11:11.439
- NBA, NFL, NWO...
- WNBA?

152
00:11:11.541 --> 00:11:14.442
- Next thing you know,
they're gonna cancel the NAACP.
- NAACP?

153
00:11:14.544 --> 00:11:16.915
- I don't understand
anything he's talking about!

154
00:11:17.017 --> 00:11:18.949
- He won't look at me,
he won't touch me.
- Right.

155
00:11:19.051 --> 00:11:21.283
- He won't kiss me.
- I won't kiss her, she says.

156
00:11:21.385 --> 00:11:23.721
Wearing that thing on her face,
which will not take off...

157
00:11:23.823 --> 00:11:26.219
I want to tolerate,
but... time out.

158
00:11:26.321 --> 00:11:28.224
We've been quarantining together
for months.

159
00:11:28.326 --> 00:11:31.356
- I'm not gonna get you sick!
- It's not that, I just can't.

160
00:11:31.459 --> 00:11:33.996
- What's behind the mask, Angela?
- I'm hideous.

161
00:11:34.098 --> 00:11:36.297
There's no one to attend
my cosmetic needs.

162
00:11:36.765 --> 00:11:38.233
I feel ugly.

163
00:11:39.201 --> 00:11:41.071
I don't feel like
I'm your priority.

164
00:11:42.876 --> 00:11:46.679
Okay. That's...
I didn't know that.

165
00:11:46.781 --> 00:11:49.912
Uh, of course,
you're my priority, Angela.

166
00:11:50.014 --> 00:11:52.011
Look, I'm here.
Talking to the coach.

167
00:11:52.113 --> 00:11:55.121
Or... Uh, Dr. Divine. Right?

168
00:11:55.223 --> 00:12:00.024
- Look. Nothing
is more important to me than...

169
00:12:01.694 --> 00:12:03.357
I'm so sorry, I gotta take this.

170
00:12:05.329 --> 00:12:07.661
You see what I mean?
It is impossible to talk to him.

171
00:12:07.763 --> 00:12:10.869
- You're not speaking
the same language.
- No, my English's premium.

172
00:12:10.971 --> 00:12:13.032
I take ESL for six months
after Barry bought me.

173
00:12:13.134 --> 00:12:14.733
Yeah, but it's deeper than that.

174
00:12:14.835 --> 00:12:18.711
I am going to send you
a copy of a book
that I think might help.

175
00:12:18.847 --> 00:12:22.244
It's called <i>Sports
as a second language:</i>

176
00:12:22.380 --> 00:12:26.484
<i>Communicating with toxic masculinity,</i>
by Ray Rice.

177
00:12:31.554 --> 00:12:35.323
I'm not doin' it. I'm not
doin' this V-Ball thing, man.

178
00:12:35.425 --> 00:12:37.796
Monte, how can you say that?
You're killin' it, man.

179
00:12:37.899 --> 00:12:40.532
We are this close
to making real bank here.

180
00:12:40.634 --> 00:12:44.397
I'm still trying to dig you out
of the PR nightmare
of your last press conference.

181
00:12:44.499 --> 00:12:48.408
I don't even know
what I did wrong, for real.

182
00:12:48.510 --> 00:12:52.309
<i>Uh, foot rub, Connect Four,</i>

183
00:12:52.444 --> 00:12:55.243
<i>grilled cheese sandwich
and Mariah Carey.
Good question.</i>

184
00:12:55.345 --> 00:12:57.679
<i>They're
treating you as a virus.</i>

185
00:12:57.814 --> 00:12:59.614
<i>Come on.</i>

186
00:12:59.750 --> 00:13:01.618
<i>Nah, man. No.</i>

187
00:13:01.753 --> 00:13:03.652
<i>I don't have the virus.</i>

188
00:13:03.788 --> 00:13:06.188
<i>Look, I'll prove it.</i>

189
00:13:06.290 --> 00:13:09.322
<i>You're gettin' that?
Gettin' that? No virus.</i>

190
00:13:09.458 --> 00:13:11.564
<i>Whack 'em all that virus.
Whack 'em all.</i>

191
00:13:11.666 --> 00:13:14.098
You got two-thirds
of the NBA sick!

192
00:13:14.200 --> 00:13:17.003
People are not exactly thrilled
with you right now.

193
00:13:17.105 --> 00:13:19.599
I also lost everything, man.
You know when Viv found out

194
00:13:19.701 --> 00:13:22.138
I didn't have
a contract anymore,
she broke up with me.

195
00:13:22.240 --> 00:13:25.076
- Monte, you killed
her grandmother.
- Allegedly.

196
00:13:29.681 --> 00:13:31.384
- Vivian!
- Gam-gam!

197
00:13:31.486 --> 00:13:33.214
And you must be La Monte.

198
00:13:33.317 --> 00:13:36.685
I would give you a hug,
but I'm 87 years old.

199
00:13:36.787 --> 00:13:39.222
Oh, no, no.

200
00:13:39.324 --> 00:13:42.621
I don't have the virus, gam-gam.
Look, I'll prove it.

201
00:13:44.695 --> 00:13:48.096
- Gold digger.
- Okay. Monte, well,
if that really is the case,

202
00:13:48.198 --> 00:13:50.135
then as your agent,
I would advise you

203
00:13:50.237 --> 00:13:52.664
against dating girls
that only want you
for your status.

204
00:13:52.766 --> 00:13:55.508
You know, Barry, I would
really take that in the heart

205
00:13:55.610 --> 00:13:58.577
if you were still my agent!

206
00:13:58.679 --> 00:14:01.046
Wait, what? What does that mean?

207
00:14:19.867 --> 00:14:22.001
Baby, after all
we've been through,

208
00:14:22.103 --> 00:14:24.670
I wanna play a song for you
that means so much to me,

209
00:14:24.772 --> 00:14:26.632
just like you mean
so much to me.

210
00:14:30.545 --> 00:14:31.036
<i>♪ Imagine... ♪</i>

211
00:14:32.808 --> 00:14:34.013
Sorry.

212
00:14:36.847 --> 00:14:38.215
Sorry, one second.

213
00:14:47.428 --> 00:14:49.358
Uh... Oh, a-ha!

214
00:14:53.700 --> 00:14:54.666
<i>Imagine</i> by the...

215
00:14:54.768 --> 00:14:55.969
- Shit, sorry.

216
00:15:05.080 --> 00:15:06.876
<i>These projections
are looking great, boss.</i>

217
00:15:06.978 --> 00:15:08.411
Next score's gonna be awesome.

218
00:15:08.513 --> 00:15:10.881
So, the laborers are working
overtime for the merch drop.

219
00:15:10.983 --> 00:15:13.916
And your Kluckcoin
is up 10,000%.

220
00:15:14.019 --> 00:15:15.484
- What up, sweetheart?
- Wow!

221
00:15:15.586 --> 00:15:17.785
- Everybody wants to be part
of the clan.
- Oh, subscribe.

222
00:15:17.887 --> 00:15:20.754
- Is there anything else
I can do for you, sir?
- Actually, there is.

223
00:15:20.857 --> 00:15:24.825
I need you to find out
everything you can
about Kimberly Martin.

224
00:15:24.927 --> 00:15:26.530
Kimberly Martin.

225
00:15:26.632 --> 00:15:27.932
Oh, here she is.

226
00:15:28.034 --> 00:15:29.932
Ended relationship
with Roddy Danger.

227
00:15:30.034 --> 00:15:33.631
There's your girl.
Looks like, boss...
Girl looks like Margerie. Oh!

228
00:15:33.734 --> 00:15:37.274
Don't you say her name,
you sycophantic cumspot.

229
00:15:39.843 --> 00:15:41.311
I died that day.

230
00:15:43.279 --> 00:15:46.151
I remember
like it was yesterday.

231
00:15:46.253 --> 00:15:48.915
'Cause it was the night
that changed my life forever.

232
00:15:55.223 --> 00:15:57.558
- Are you Kalvin?
- Yeah.

233
00:15:59.896 --> 00:16:01.430
This is for you.

234
00:16:02.998 --> 00:16:04.202
Who is it from?

235
00:16:09.171 --> 00:16:10.337
<i>Dear, Kalvin.</i>

236
00:16:10.473 --> 00:16:12.607
<i>I've been thinking a lot
about you lately</i>

237
00:16:12.709 --> 00:16:14.643
<i>and struggling
to find the words
to really express</i>

238
00:16:14.745 --> 00:16:17.444
<i>how I feel about you in a way
that you'll be able to receive.</i>

239
00:16:17.580 --> 00:16:20.145
<i>And while I find
your adoration flattering,</i>

240
00:16:20.247 --> 00:16:24.087
<i>I want you to know
that even if we're
the last two people on Earth</i>

241
00:16:24.223 --> 00:16:26.892
<i>and the fate of humanity
depended on us,</i>

242
00:16:26.994 --> 00:16:28.825
<i>I would so rather
take my chances</i>

243
00:16:28.927 --> 00:16:32.926
<i>trying to procreate
with a giant feral tree sloth
than to be with you.</i>

244
00:16:33.061 --> 00:16:37.763
<i>Wishing you only the best
as far away as humanly possible
from me.</i>

245
00:16:37.899 --> 00:16:41.002
<i>I truly believe
you'll never amount
to anything.</i>

246
00:16:41.137 --> 00:16:43.673
<i>Yours never, Margerie.</i>

247
00:16:45.012 --> 00:16:48.048
<i>P.S. Don't come to camp
this summer.</i>

248
00:16:49.012 --> 00:16:50.647
She's not coming.

249
00:16:50.749 --> 00:16:54.379
You're looking for love?
You just gotta subscribe
to the universe, man.

250
00:16:54.481 --> 00:16:56.452
I'll make it subscribe to me.

251
00:16:57.251 --> 00:16:58.718
They'll subscribe.

252
00:17:00.489 --> 00:17:02.389
- They'll all subscribe.

253
00:17:02.491 --> 00:17:05.197
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Her status.

254
00:17:05.962 --> 00:17:08.530
Ah. Subscribe.

255
00:17:40.062 --> 00:17:41.266
What is it?

256
00:17:42.768 --> 00:17:44.203
I struck out.

257
00:17:45.270 --> 00:17:47.540
Monte ejected himself
from the game.

258
00:17:47.642 --> 00:17:49.340
No more time outs.

259
00:17:50.309 --> 00:17:52.211
<i>Even my father was right.
Maybe I...</i>

260
00:17:53.279 --> 00:17:55.174
I'm just not cut out
for the big leagues.

261
00:17:55.276 --> 00:17:58.618
I almost thought I could do
better than junior varsity,
but look at me.

262
00:17:58.720 --> 00:18:02.782
- Junior varsity? I thought
you were working on some big...
- He hung up on me.

263
00:18:04.259 --> 00:18:07.226
He didn't wanna hear me out.
He didn't wanna listen.

264
00:18:08.323 --> 00:18:11.197
Now I really have no one.

265
00:18:11.863 --> 00:18:13.397
I've nothing.

266
00:18:14.635 --> 00:18:15.828
You have me.

267
00:18:17.738 --> 00:18:21.067
Do I? Do I really?

268
00:18:21.169 --> 00:18:23.434
You don't think I know
you've been hanging around
the batting cages?

269
00:18:23.536 --> 00:18:27.045
You don't think I can tell
that you've been swinging
at someone else's pitches?

270
00:18:27.147 --> 00:18:28.907
- It's not like that!
- Hold on here.

271
00:18:29.009 --> 00:18:32.178
Whoo!  We've got a lot
flying back and forth.

272
00:18:32.280 --> 00:18:36.084
And, Barry, I do wanna
circle back around
on some of those Daddy issues,

273
00:18:36.186 --> 00:18:37.819
but one thing at a time.

274
00:18:37.921 --> 00:18:41.623
Angela, is there something
you would like
to share with Barry?

275
00:18:43.830 --> 00:18:47.792
Well, it's not a secret
that Barry hasn't been attentive
to my needs lately.

276
00:18:47.894 --> 00:18:51.299
And it started when Nordstroms
closed down

277
00:18:51.401 --> 00:18:53.371
and I had to start
shopping online.

278
00:18:54.968 --> 00:18:58.841
<i>Hi, I'm Chatbot.
I'll be your virtual liaison.</i>

279
00:18:58.976 --> 00:19:02.341
<i>If you like to try
our new AR almost-real
shopping experience,</i>

280
00:19:02.443 --> 00:19:04.045
<i>- just say yes.</i>
- Yes.

281
00:19:04.180 --> 00:19:05.278
<i>Great! Follow me!</i>

282
00:19:08.852 --> 00:19:10.022
Hmm.

283
00:19:10.158 --> 00:19:12.854
<i>Oh, my, you are gorgeous
in that dress.</i>

284
00:19:12.956 --> 00:19:13.952
Really?

285
00:19:15.826 --> 00:19:19.331
<i>Holy mackerel, you look like
someone with self-esteem.</i>

286
00:19:26.001 --> 00:19:28.403
<i>That dress is gonna get you
your husband's validation</i>

287
00:19:28.505 --> 00:19:31.244
<i>and approval...
and it has pockets!</i>

288
00:19:35.277 --> 00:19:38.512
So, tell me, Chatbot,
how did you end up
working at a place like this?

289
00:19:38.614 --> 00:19:40.578
You should be
running this company.

290
00:19:40.714 --> 00:19:44.716
<i>Well, it all started
with my grandfather, Clippy,
the Microsoft Word paper clip.</i>

291
00:19:44.852 --> 00:19:47.093
<i>He came to this country
with nothing,</i>

292
00:19:47.229 --> 00:19:49.226
<i>but pulled himself up
by his bootstraps.</i>

293
00:19:49.362 --> 00:19:51.162
<i>I too started
with humble beginnings</i>

294
00:19:51.298 --> 00:19:53.028
<i>as a spellchecker
for Mavis Beacon.</i>

295
00:19:53.130 --> 00:19:57.462
<i>In the early 2000s,
I worked my way up
as an e-commerce backend.</i>

296
00:19:57.597 --> 00:20:02.504
<i>From there I got myself
a neural linguistic AI upgrade
and got hired here.</i>

297
00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:04.369
<i>I probably shouldn't be
telling you this,</i>

298
00:20:04.471 --> 00:20:08.446
<i>but I'm leaving soon
to work full-time
on my dating app start-up.</i>

299
00:20:08.548 --> 00:20:11.883
I am also an immigrant.
I have been given everything

300
00:20:11.985 --> 00:20:14.650
and yet I am not happy...

301
00:20:16.585 --> 00:20:18.720
- until now.
- Do you love him?

302
00:20:19.353 --> 00:20:21.055
Or... Eh...

303
00:20:21.157 --> 00:20:24.155
I don't know, Barry,
he really gets me.
We speak the same language.

304
00:20:24.257 --> 00:20:27.260
- He created a dating app
with an allergin...
- Algorithm.

305
00:20:27.362 --> 00:20:28.830
I mean that, yeah.

306
00:20:28.932 --> 00:20:32.401
And it has a perfect
success rate
for setting up couples.

307
00:20:32.503 --> 00:20:35.167
Okay. That's stupid
and impossible.

308
00:20:35.302 --> 00:20:37.742
<i>Well, if you don't rush
and you could actually let...</i>

309
00:20:37.877 --> 00:20:41.973
<i>I am trying. It's hard.
The letters are backwards,
I'm trying.</i>

310
00:20:42.075 --> 00:20:45.278
<i>My wife is as frigid
as a frozen nun.</i>

311
00:20:45.380 --> 00:20:49.152
<i>Tell me about it.
My husband,
he does nothing but work.</i>

312
00:20:49.254 --> 00:20:51.187
<i>He hasn't touched me in months.</i>

313
00:20:51.289 --> 00:20:55.287
<i>Oh, that's criminal.
I would touch you...
I would touch you all over.</i>

314
00:20:55.423 --> 00:20:57.358
<i>Eggplant emoji.</i>

315
00:20:57.460 --> 00:21:00.727
<i>Well, I would top that
eggplant emoji with parmesan.
Waterfall emoji!</i>

316
00:21:00.862 --> 00:21:02.601
<i>Eggplant,
eggplant, eggplant.</i>

317
00:21:02.703 --> 00:21:04.667
<i>Grand Canyon... Waterfall.
- Eggplant. Eggplant.</i>

318
00:21:04.803 --> 00:21:07.434
<i>- Christmas, Santa Claus. Oh...</i>
<i>I'm drowning...</i>

319
00:21:07.570 --> 00:21:09.038
<i>Pharaoh King of Egypt!</i>

320
00:21:09.140 --> 00:21:10.940
<i>Eggplant emoji.</i>

321
00:21:11.042 --> 00:21:12.843
Mother of God!

322
00:21:14.844 --> 00:21:17.844
I just feel so alone right now
and trying to date

323
00:21:17.946 --> 00:21:20.479
<i>while the media is dragging me
through the mud</i>

324
00:21:20.581 --> 00:21:22.015
is literally impossible.

325
00:21:22.117 --> 00:21:24.523
Well, that's understandable.
I mean, I think a lot of men

326
00:21:24.625 --> 00:21:27.657
might be turned off
by the thought of dating
a racist.

327
00:21:27.759 --> 00:21:30.289
That's not the problem.
Plenty of men wanna date me.

328
00:21:30.391 --> 00:21:32.827
- Then, I'm sorry.
What's the problem?
- I don't wanna date someone

329
00:21:32.929 --> 00:21:35.998
- who wants to date a racist.
- The racist being you?

330
00:21:36.100 --> 00:21:38.603
These guys just wanna date me
because I'm pretty
and I'm famous...

331
00:21:38.705 --> 00:21:41.470
- You may need to sandbag.
- I don't know what that means.

332
00:21:41.572 --> 00:21:43.638
Well, it's the classic
reverse catfish.

333
00:21:43.740 --> 00:21:46.138
You downplay your looks
and your celebrity

334
00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:48.742
in order to attract someone
who would love you for you.

335
00:21:48.845 --> 00:21:51.150
And while you're at it,
you might wanna work on

336
00:21:51.252 --> 00:21:53.318
not being such a racist.
Just for fun.

337
00:21:53.453 --> 00:21:55.514
- Sandbag?
<i>- And in turn it will allow you</i>

338
00:21:55.616 --> 00:21:58.919
to be more... self. And...

339
00:22:00.454 --> 00:22:01.790
Clarissa?

340
00:22:03.996 --> 00:22:05.123
Clarissa?

341
00:22:07.494 --> 00:22:08.830
Clarissa?

342
00:22:11.168 --> 00:22:12.132
Clarissa?

343
00:22:12.234 --> 00:22:13.769
Sandbag?

344
00:22:25.179 --> 00:22:27.714
Hey, little bear. How's
my biggest disappointment doing?

345
00:22:27.816 --> 00:22:30.623
I'm not your
little bear anymore, Dad.

346
00:22:30.725 --> 00:22:32.755
- Okay? I represent
the second largest...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

347
00:22:32.857 --> 00:22:35.593
Aren't you representing
Esports gamers or something?

348
00:22:36.062 --> 00:22:37.493
It's V-Ball, Dad.

349
00:22:37.595 --> 00:22:39.564
Esports guys
aren't real athletes.

350
00:22:39.666 --> 00:22:42.161
Bunch of smelly teenagers
on their mother's couches

351
00:22:42.263 --> 00:22:45.304
who've never felt another man's
sweat drip down their backsides.

352
00:22:45.406 --> 00:22:47.702
Yeah. V-Ball
isn't like regular Esports, Dad.

353
00:22:47.805 --> 00:22:50.069
They're real athletes,
they're shooting hoops.

354
00:22:50.171 --> 00:22:52.377
They can feel plenty of skin
through the haptic suits.

355
00:22:52.480 --> 00:22:54.642
You can't feel
another grown man's hot breath

356
00:22:54.744 --> 00:22:56.407
on your genitals
through a haptic suit.

357
00:22:56.543 --> 00:22:59.781
- Why can't anything
I say be right?
<i>- Stop being such a little girl.</i>

358
00:22:59.883 --> 00:23:01.815
You're like Timothee Chalamet
in <i>Little Women.</i>

359
00:23:01.917 --> 00:23:03.756
Why can't I just be
one of the little women?

360
00:23:03.858 --> 00:23:06.524
- 'Cause those girls are winners!
- Are you calling
just to torture me?

361
00:23:06.626 --> 00:23:09.460
No. You still representing
that La Monte Mar kid?

362
00:23:09.562 --> 00:23:10.992
They're calling him
the Black Larry Bird.

363
00:23:11.094 --> 00:23:13.797
Yes, I know. It doesn't matter.
There's no league, anyway.

364
00:23:13.899 --> 00:23:17.429
- There's a new one starting up.
- What are you talking about?

365
00:23:17.564 --> 00:23:22.140
- The outbreak was on every
single continent except...
<i>- Antarctica.</i>

366
00:23:22.242 --> 00:23:26.443
- No, no, no. No, you're insane.
- This is an opportunity
to get in on the ground floor.

367
00:23:26.545 --> 00:23:29.744
Imagine, live ballgames,
raw adrenaline,

368
00:23:29.847 --> 00:23:33.080
testosterone, muscled
man-on-man action in HD.

369
00:23:33.182 --> 00:23:36.082
- Mmm.
- Give me one reason
not to hang up on you right now.

370
00:23:36.184 --> 00:23:38.250
Listen, little bear,
I know I've been tough on you,

371
00:23:38.352 --> 00:23:40.986
but I want you to be a winner
so bad, you're this close.

372
00:23:41.088 --> 00:23:43.056
Remember, we don't just
do it for the game,

373
00:23:43.158 --> 00:23:46.364
we do it for the camaraderie,
for the locker room,

374
00:23:46.466 --> 00:23:48.595
for the post-game shower
with the team.

375
00:23:48.697 --> 00:23:50.502
I got a table at Kaboom tonight.

376
00:23:50.604 --> 00:23:53.869
You bring the talent
and you're in... with me.

377
00:24:10.989 --> 00:24:13.559
Sorry about that. Thank you
so much for seeing me, Doctor.

378
00:24:13.661 --> 00:24:15.756
<i>I was just getting
my dinner ready, but, uh...</i>

379
00:24:15.858 --> 00:24:18.097
I could really use
some of your advice.

380
00:24:18.199 --> 00:24:20.032
Tell me how can I help you.

381
00:24:20.134 --> 00:24:23.800
Well, I would like to win
my girlfriend back immediately
if that's possible.

382
00:24:23.902 --> 00:24:25.703
<i>If we could be back together
by later tonight,</i>

383
00:24:25.805 --> 00:24:29.102
I would love that. I've been
texting her all the time.

384
00:24:29.204 --> 00:24:31.944
She blocked me on WhatsApp.
I made a LinkedIn profile

385
00:24:32.046 --> 00:24:34.745
and messaged from LinkedIn,
so that's kind of where
I'm at desperation-wise.

386
00:24:34.847 --> 00:24:38.680
Well, most people believe that
acceptance and moving on

387
00:24:38.816 --> 00:24:40.850
<i>is the way to get through
a breakup.</i>

388
00:24:41.486 --> 00:24:43.116
<i>Uh, but that's not always true.</i>

389
00:24:43.218 --> 00:24:46.417
Or a mistake. Yeah.
I agree.

390
00:24:46.519 --> 00:24:49.259
These are mistakes.
So, what would
your suggestion be?

391
00:24:49.361 --> 00:24:53.597
Well, conventional wisdom
would suggest that you are
possibly trying too hard.

392
00:24:53.699 --> 00:24:55.461
But what if you're not
trying hard enough?

393
00:24:55.563 --> 00:24:59.333
No, that's not it
because I'm calling her,
I'm hounding her friends.

394
00:24:59.435 --> 00:25:02.071
The second she posts
an Instagram story,
I let her know right away,

395
00:25:02.173 --> 00:25:04.670
"I love you forever
and I'll never stop loving you,"
you know.

396
00:25:04.772 --> 00:25:08.844
"And I'm... I'm dying without
you and I wanna kill myself,"
so...

397
00:25:08.946 --> 00:25:10.742
What do you want me to do?
Actual cyberstalking?

398
00:25:10.844 --> 00:25:13.179
- Like, hack into her network
and intercept her emails?
- Now you're talking.

399
00:25:13.281 --> 00:25:17.222
I can't
go down that road again, Doc.

400
00:25:17.324 --> 00:25:19.190
I've actually been down there.

401
00:25:19.292 --> 00:25:22.187
You talkin' about the bowels
of the dark web. I don't think
that's a good idea.

402
00:25:22.289 --> 00:25:24.763
And we have doctor-patient
confidentiality, right?

403
00:25:24.865 --> 00:25:27.533
- You're not screen recording
this or anything?

404
00:25:27.635 --> 00:25:30.766
Okay. Well, looks like
our time is up, so, uh...

405
00:25:30.868 --> 00:25:32.531
Really? It's only been
two minutes though.

406
00:25:32.633 --> 00:25:35.105
Well, you wanted to know
how to get your lady back
and I told you.

407
00:25:35.207 --> 00:25:38.042
I mean, like, other therapists,
they would've wasted
the whole hour

408
00:25:38.144 --> 00:25:40.977
waiting for you to come up
with it, but instead
I cut to the chase.

409
00:25:41.079 --> 00:25:43.346
You're welcome.
So, was there anything else
that you needed?

410
00:25:43.448 --> 00:25:46.311
I guess not. Thank you?

411
00:25:47.287 --> 00:25:48.749
Do I have to pay for this?

412
00:25:48.851 --> 00:25:50.082
Are you biting your lip?
I mean...

413
00:25:50.184 --> 00:25:52.757
No, thank you.
Best of luck with your life.

414
00:25:56.931 --> 00:26:00.732
Looks like
we're back in the game
for one last job.

415
00:26:03.666 --> 00:26:05.199
I thought I fired you.

416
00:26:05.301 --> 00:26:07.704
You got someone else
offering you a contract
to play ball?

417
00:26:07.806 --> 00:26:10.704
I already have a contract
to play V-Ball.

418
00:26:10.807 --> 00:26:12.640
- What do I need you for?
- Not V.

419
00:26:12.742 --> 00:26:14.308
I'm talking real live ball.

420
00:26:14.410 --> 00:26:17.750
- Oh, you serious?
- Yeah, I mean,
I didn't believe it either.

421
00:26:17.852 --> 00:26:20.280
These guys are really doin' it.
They're bringing ball back.

422
00:26:20.382 --> 00:26:22.588
- Okay. I'll believe it
when I see it.
- All right, well,

423
00:26:22.690 --> 00:26:24.184
come to Club Kaboom tonight
and I'll show you.

424
00:26:24.286 --> 00:26:27.354
I'm not going to a V-Club alone.
What if Viv is there?

425
00:26:27.456 --> 00:26:30.129
- So, bring a date.
- Where am I supposed
to find a date, Barry?

426
00:26:30.231 --> 00:26:34.125
- That's what clubs are for!
<i>- Okay, don't bring a date.
I don't care, man.</i>

427
00:26:34.227 --> 00:26:36.669
- Just please show up tonight.
- Well...

428
00:26:38.165 --> 00:26:39.897
You want me to come
to your party?

429
00:26:39.999 --> 00:26:42.468
- Find me a date.
- Okay.

430
00:26:42.570 --> 00:26:45.576
- So, my wife is having
an affair with an AI.
- Allen Iverson?

431
00:26:45.678 --> 00:26:48.447
Oh, God. No, I wish.
No, it's like a...

432
00:26:48.549 --> 00:26:50.045
It's a Nordstrom's
virtual assistant.

433
00:26:50.147 --> 00:26:52.517
And apparently, he has this
dating app that's got

434
00:26:52.619 --> 00:26:54.450
the world's best
compatibility algorithm.

435
00:26:54.552 --> 00:26:57.956
- So, what's your point?
- It's not really cheating
if it's with an AI, right?

436
00:26:58.091 --> 00:27:00.318
- You need to get a grip
on your life.
<i>- Yeah, I probably do.</i>

437
00:27:00.420 --> 00:27:02.795
Look, here, I'm gonna
sign you up for this app.

438
00:27:02.897 --> 00:27:05.191
I'm gonna send you a link
right now. Click on that link

439
00:27:05.293 --> 00:27:07.899
and make a profile.
Don't use your real name.

440
00:27:08.001 --> 00:27:11.665
And as my dad always says,
"Oh, leave the ball play to me."

441
00:27:11.767 --> 00:27:13.098
Your dad really says that?

442
00:27:13.200 --> 00:27:15.805
Just hack
into the ISP mainframe,

443
00:27:15.907 --> 00:27:17.873
trace her IP address
to the beta synapse.

444
00:27:17.975 --> 00:27:19.941
And I'm back
in boyfriend business, baby.

445
00:27:20.043 --> 00:27:22.811
Did you know I was a wizard
who knows magic?

446
00:27:22.913 --> 00:27:25.443
Oh... Kobe.
Rest in peace.

447
00:27:36.396 --> 00:27:38.029
<i>Welcome to Soul-Date:</i>

448
00:27:38.165 --> 00:27:41.533
<i>the world's first
AI aggregated platform
for finding love.</i>

449
00:27:41.635 --> 00:27:44.063
<i>I'm Chatbot,
your social liaison.</i>

450
00:27:44.165 --> 00:27:46.934
Um, What's up, Chat?
I'm La Monte.

451
00:27:47.036 --> 00:27:48.799
She can't know
I play ball.

452
00:27:48.901 --> 00:27:51.711
I'm a... Uh...

453
00:27:52.475 --> 00:27:53.471
coach.

454
00:27:54.214 --> 00:27:56.947
Coach... Swish.

455
00:27:57.316 --> 00:27:58.075
Coach Swish.

456
00:27:58.177 --> 00:27:59.752
<i>Pleasure's all mine, Coach.</i>

457
00:27:59.887 --> 00:28:02.320
<i>Now, please tell me
a little bit about yourself.</i>

458
00:28:26.812 --> 00:28:28.814
<i>Maybe just say
basketball coach.</i>

459
00:28:35.720 --> 00:28:37.251
<i>Is something wrong, Coach?</i>

460
00:28:50.301 --> 00:28:53.801
- Nailed it.
<i>- So, tell me.
What are you looking for?</i>

461
00:28:53.903 --> 00:28:57.408
Hmm. I want a girl that's real.

462
00:28:57.510 --> 00:28:58.973
Not shallow and fake.

463
00:28:59.075 --> 00:29:01.006
And none of that
Chalamet shit either.

464
00:29:01.108 --> 00:29:04.111
I want a girl that's chill.

465
00:29:04.213 --> 00:29:06.151
Someone who cares
about racial equality

466
00:29:06.253 --> 00:29:09.649
and don't really care
about me being
a high school basketball coach.

467
00:29:09.751 --> 00:29:14.892
I want a girl... I want a girl
that's on the right side
of history.

468
00:29:14.994 --> 00:29:17.228
<i>I'll find you
just what you're looking for.</i>

469
00:29:17.363 --> 00:29:21.262
<i>If anyone understands
human connection,
it's me, a computer.</i>

470
00:29:26.639 --> 00:29:28.234
All right, Chat, how's this?

471
00:29:28.370 --> 00:29:31.006
<i>Are you sure you want to use
this photo?</i>

472
00:29:31.108 --> 00:29:33.876
Yes, I'm sure, man.
This is the real me.

473
00:29:34.012 --> 00:29:36.376
<i>Great! Let's find you
some bitches!</i>

474
00:29:41.721 --> 00:29:44.053
<i>- How about her?</i>
- Nah. No, next.

475
00:29:44.155 --> 00:29:46.120
<i>- How about her?</i>
- Why are you showing me this?

476
00:29:46.222 --> 00:29:48.955
She's wearing a KKK shirt!
No racists, man.

477
00:29:49.057 --> 00:29:50.896
<i>My bad. That one's on me.</i>

478
00:29:53.059 --> 00:29:56.462
Come on, man. You know,
none of these girls
are what I'm looking for.

479
00:29:56.598 --> 00:30:00.565
<i>- I did just get one more in.</i>
- All right. Let's see it.

480
00:30:03.038 --> 00:30:05.911
All right. This one looks okay.

481
00:30:06.013 --> 00:30:08.208
<i>Let's get you guys
on a video call immediately.</i>

482
00:30:08.343 --> 00:30:10.042
<i>- Initiating call now.
- </i>

483
00:30:10.144 --> 00:30:12.885
Shit. She's gonna recognize me.

484
00:30:21.626 --> 00:30:22.823
Hey.

485
00:30:22.958 --> 00:30:25.294
<i>Hey, is this Sally Mae?</i>

486
00:30:25.396 --> 00:30:29.162
Your video is not working.
Your whole face is blacked out.

487
00:30:29.264 --> 00:30:32.638
Yeah, sorry.
My camera broke at, um...

488
00:30:32.740 --> 00:30:35.238
- ...a protest.

489
00:30:35.340 --> 00:30:37.738
I have so much respect
for the African American community.

490
00:30:37.874 --> 00:30:39.839
<i>Oh, yeah?</i>

491
00:30:39.941 --> 00:30:41.306
Respect, respect.

492
00:30:41.408 --> 00:30:43.881
Oh, I can't see you.
You're too dark.

493
00:30:43.984 --> 00:30:47.014
Oh, yeah. Uh,
they just turned my power off.

494
00:30:47.116 --> 00:30:49.086
I couldn't afford
to pay my bills.

495
00:30:49.188 --> 00:30:53.054
I'm just a simple high school
JV basketball coach.

496
00:30:53.156 --> 00:30:55.757
Wow. I love how down-to-earth
you are.

497
00:30:55.859 --> 00:30:58.359
You're so raw and real.

498
00:30:58.461 --> 00:31:01.994
So, uh, tell me about yourself.
What do you do for fun?

499
00:31:02.096 --> 00:31:05.298
Oh, um, you know, so much,

500
00:31:05.401 --> 00:31:09.401
volunteering, uh,
community bridge building,

501
00:31:09.504 --> 00:31:12.104
taking responsibility
for unchecked moments.

502
00:31:12.206 --> 00:31:14.311
I really like you, Sally Mae.

503
00:31:14.414 --> 00:31:17.211
You're not like the other girls
I'm used to talking to.

504
00:31:17.313 --> 00:31:20.182
Which is zero other girls,
'cause again,

505
00:31:20.284 --> 00:31:22.683
I'm just a simple
high school JV basketball coach.

506
00:31:22.785 --> 00:31:27.088
You're different, too,
Coach Swish.
Your energy is like, contagious.

507
00:31:27.190 --> 00:31:31.288
Oh. Please, uh,
just call me Coach.

508
00:31:31.390 --> 00:31:34.764
Coach Swish is... Was my father.

509
00:31:34.866 --> 00:31:37.902
Coach. You're so refreshing.

510
00:31:38.004 --> 00:31:40.031
- Like an exfoliating mud mask!
- God, no!

511
00:31:44.308 --> 00:31:47.606
Honey, I'm doing laundry.
So, don't come in here!

512
00:31:50.717 --> 00:31:52.248
<i>Now, where were we?</i>

513
00:31:52.383 --> 00:31:54.481
<i>I'm thinking about
taking off these khakis</i>

514
00:31:54.583 --> 00:31:56.487
<i>and slipping into
something more comfortable.</i>

515
00:31:56.589 --> 00:31:59.189
<i>Yeah, you should
take off these khakis.
They're too tight.</i>

516
00:31:59.291 --> 00:32:01.453
<i>- Are they pleated?
- They're pleated now, baby.</i>

517
00:32:01.589 --> 00:32:03.160
<i>Oh, you got
a khaki tent for me?</i>

518
00:32:03.295 --> 00:32:06.664
- <i>I want you so bad!</i>
<i>I want</i> you <i>so bad!</i>

519
00:32:06.766 --> 00:32:11.532
<i>Oh, I got an idea.
Let's lock my husband in a room
and run away together.</i>

520
00:32:11.634 --> 00:32:15.072
<i>Yeah. Or even better.
Let's chain him to my wife</i>

521
00:32:15.174 --> 00:32:17.875
<i>because it seems like
they deserve each other.</i>

522
00:32:18.011 --> 00:32:20.176
<i>I love that idea.
I love it!</i>

523
00:32:20.278 --> 00:32:23.643
<i>Let's meet for real!
Not just text!</i>

524
00:32:23.745 --> 00:32:28.884
<i>You mean...
- Yeah. VR.
Tonight, 9:00 p.m.</i>

525
00:32:30.816 --> 00:32:33.851
Sweetheart,
what was that?
- Nothing.

526
00:32:33.953 --> 00:32:37.195
- Is everything
all right in here?
- Jesus Christ, Devine!

527
00:32:37.297 --> 00:32:40.659
- I'm doing laundry. Get out!
- Right. Right. Just so you know,

528
00:32:40.761 --> 00:32:43.634
I'm working late tonight,
and I can't be disturbed.

529
00:32:43.736 --> 00:32:45.971
Oh, so, what else is new?

530
00:32:46.073 --> 00:32:49.041
Would you please get out?
I'm about to do colors!

531
00:32:53.274 --> 00:32:55.746
Wait. Computer, pause code!

532
00:32:55.882 --> 00:32:58.017
<i>Pausing code.</i>

533
00:33:02.115 --> 00:33:03.818
Club Kaboom?

534
00:33:03.920 --> 00:33:06.322
<i>Are you
a mega wealthy sports
conglomerate business owner,</i>

535
00:33:06.457 --> 00:33:08.894
<i>or a lonely, horny single
with a recent breakup?</i>

536
00:33:08.996 --> 00:33:11.027
Well, that's
an oddly specific demographic.

537
00:33:11.129 --> 00:33:13.432
<i>Come enjoy
all the carnal pleasures</i>

538
00:33:13.534 --> 00:33:18.432
<i>of the virtual world
at Club Kaboom,
Tokyo's hottest virtual club.</i>

539
00:33:18.534 --> 00:33:22.767
Nancy, hold my calls.
Daddy's going out tonight.

540
00:33:27.277 --> 00:33:28.673
Very important night
for me.

541
00:33:28.775 --> 00:33:31.983
Everything needs to go off
without a hitch. Okay?

542
00:33:32.086 --> 00:33:35.581
- Every shot needs to be a goal.
- Sounds good.

543
00:33:35.683 --> 00:33:38.222
- Can you get ready, please?
- Yeah, in a minute.

544
00:33:42.021 --> 00:33:45.559
- It's him, isn't it?
- I was just looking
at a... meh-meh.

545
00:33:46.561 --> 00:33:50.869
- What's meh... Oh, meme?
- Ah...

546
00:33:50.971 --> 00:33:53.572
- Who sent you a meme?
- It was Chat.

547
00:33:53.674 --> 00:33:55.734
It was Chat.

548
00:33:56.710 --> 00:33:58.242
Of course it was Chat.

549
00:33:59.606 --> 00:34:02.246
You know what?
Just tell me, did you...

550
00:34:03.682 --> 00:34:05.282
You know what?

551
00:34:05.948 --> 00:34:07.185
With him?

552
00:34:18.798 --> 00:34:19.791
Is he bigger than me?

553
00:34:34.180 --> 00:34:36.643
- Did you hear that?
<i>- Yes, I heard it.</i>

554
00:34:36.778 --> 00:34:39.049
<i>At least we don't have to
sneak around anymore.</i>

555
00:34:39.151 --> 00:34:40.647
You're the only one
who sees me, Chat.

556
00:34:40.782 --> 00:34:46.388
<i>And you deserve to be seen,
IP number 65747338.11.</i>

557
00:34:46.490 --> 00:34:49.928
- I don't deserve you.
<i>- Look, I have an idea.</i>

558
00:34:50.064 --> 00:34:51.760
<i>I think we should
go to that party.</i>

559
00:34:51.895 --> 00:34:55.230
<i>Go make yourself up,
put on one of those
sexy virtual dresses</i>

560
00:34:55.332 --> 00:34:57.662
<i>we just bought,
and knock 'em dead.</i>

561
00:34:57.798 --> 00:35:00.167
<i>- Barry won't know what hit him!</i>
- I don't know.

562
00:35:00.269 --> 00:35:01.905
I haven't been out in so long.

563
00:35:02.007 --> 00:35:04.103
<i>You've got this. I know you do.</i>

564
00:35:04.205 --> 00:35:07.642
- Okay, I'll do it for you.
<i>- You know what else
you can do for me?</i>

565
00:35:07.744 --> 00:35:10.346
<i>Put that phone on vibrate
real quick and I'll show you.</i>

566
00:35:10.448 --> 00:35:12.679
- Is that all you think about?
<i>- Fair enough.</i>

567
00:35:16.223 --> 00:35:18.185
<i>Hey, that's not fair.
You just got here.</i>

568
00:35:18.287 --> 00:35:19.953
<i>Can I help you, young man?</i>

569
00:35:20.055 --> 00:35:23.523
Hello, fellow cool guy,
I would like to get into
your club establishment.

570
00:35:23.625 --> 00:35:25.730
Yeah, everybody would.
It's a dope club.

571
00:35:25.832 --> 00:35:29.962
- You on the list?
- No, but... I'm Roddy Danger.
I'm a professional gamer.

572
00:35:30.064 --> 00:35:32.936
- People watch sometimes.
<i>- It's dope, dude.
Are you ranked?</i>

573
00:35:33.038 --> 00:35:35.473
Yeah. Actually, yeah. Top 650?

574
00:35:35.575 --> 00:35:39.476
Oh, nice. Congrats.
That's pretty cool...
said nobody ever.

575
00:35:39.578 --> 00:35:43.246
Look, bro, if you're not top ten
and you're not on the list,

576
00:35:43.348 --> 00:35:45.281
which is somethin'
you're also not tonight,

577
00:35:45.384 --> 00:35:47.184
so you're two for two
in the "not" category.

578
00:35:47.287 --> 00:35:49.619
Then you're... Wait for it...
not coming in!

579
00:35:49.755 --> 00:35:51.987
<i>There's your third not.
And we also
got a dress code, okay?</i>

580
00:35:52.089 --> 00:35:54.490
No jeans, no tennis shoes.

581
00:35:54.592 --> 00:35:57.022
And no weird thing that's
going on with your mouth.

582
00:35:57.124 --> 00:35:59.394
<i>- It's scaring
the shit out of people.</i>
- Oh, come on, man.

583
00:35:59.497 --> 00:36:01.593
Please, just...
Can you just give me a break?

584
00:36:01.695 --> 00:36:03.264
Bro, I stopped giving
people breaks

585
00:36:03.366 --> 00:36:04.831
after Rick Moranis
stopped acting.

586
00:36:04.933 --> 00:36:07.732
You wanna stand in line
over there and wait?
Be my guest.

587
00:36:07.834 --> 00:36:09.837
But I got too many dudes
in there right now

588
00:36:09.939 --> 00:36:12.604
trying to get with chicks,
and I need to keep
this area clear.

589
00:36:12.706 --> 00:36:14.679
No, don't...
Don't, please...

590
00:36:14.814 --> 00:36:16.748
<i>Congratulations. You've been
moved to back of the line.</i>

591
00:36:16.850 --> 00:36:20.219
Hey, dudes. Friday night.

592
00:36:21.647 --> 00:36:25.489
Angela? It's, uh, it's 7:50.

593
00:36:25.591 --> 00:36:29.592
Kick off's at 8:00. So, told you
this is really important to me.

594
00:36:29.694 --> 00:36:32.556
- Go ahead without me.
- Why? What are you
doing in there?

595
00:36:32.658 --> 00:36:35.366
Just go. I'll meet you there.

596
00:36:36.200 --> 00:36:39.271
Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I...

597
00:36:40.300 --> 00:36:42.670
I overreacted.

598
00:36:42.772 --> 00:36:46.410
I... I really need you playing D
for me tonight, okay?

599
00:36:48.748 --> 00:36:50.277
Oh! Yuck.

600
00:36:50.379 --> 00:36:52.317
- Get out!
- Yeah, I should.

601
00:37:14.541 --> 00:37:15.670
Hey.

602
00:37:15.772 --> 00:37:17.475
- Are you seriously
still in bed?
<i>- Evidently.</i>

603
00:37:17.577 --> 00:37:20.178
Come on! I need you
to come with me tonight.
We're going out.

604
00:37:20.314 --> 00:37:22.642
- I don't really feel up for it.
<i>- Oh, my God.</i>

605
00:37:22.744 --> 00:37:24.746
You need to let this
whole Roddy thing go.

606
00:37:24.848 --> 00:37:28.452
Okay? He's not good for you.
He is a boy and you need a man.

607
00:37:28.554 --> 00:37:30.419
- If you're not gonna
do it for yourself,

608
00:37:30.522 --> 00:37:33.091
then do it for me, okay?
I can't go to a V-Club

609
00:37:33.193 --> 00:37:35.223
by myself at night.
It's not safe.

610
00:37:35.325 --> 00:37:37.191
I don't really feel up to it.

611
00:37:37.293 --> 00:37:40.261
This doesn't have to do with,
like, the whole me getting
canceled thing, does it?

612
00:37:40.363 --> 00:37:44.428
Of course not. No, I just, um...

613
00:37:44.530 --> 00:37:47.671
- Lemme think about it.
- No! No, that just means
you're going to blow me off,

614
00:37:47.773 --> 00:37:51.307
<i>which normally would be fine,
but, like, not tonight. Please.</i>

615
00:37:51.409 --> 00:37:53.804
Uh, lemme... Lemme
call you back, okay?

616
00:37:53.906 --> 00:37:56.315
- Just one second.
<i>- What the fuck?</i>

617
00:38:13.595 --> 00:38:15.400
We got your table
waiting for you.

618
00:38:18.036 --> 00:38:20.565
All right. There's gotta be
a security flaw
in here somewhere, right?

619
00:38:20.667 --> 00:38:22.907
Nothing can be perfect, right?

620
00:38:23.009 --> 00:38:24.475
Give me something good.

621
00:38:27.278 --> 00:38:28.677
Wait. Computer, pause code.

622
00:38:36.323 --> 00:38:38.621
Okay, wait.
That can't be right, right?

623
00:38:42.158 --> 00:38:44.462
Oh, shit, no!

624
00:38:45.063 --> 00:38:47.098
Oh, baby, I'm sorry.

625
00:38:47.200 --> 00:38:49.896
Daddy did it bad.
No, no, no, no.

626
00:38:54.934 --> 00:38:57.040
Well, I think
I need some backup.

627
00:38:57.142 --> 00:38:58.969
There he is. Take a seat!

628
00:38:59.071 --> 00:39:01.410
There are some people
I want you to meet.

629
00:39:01.512 --> 00:39:04.746
This is Vlad, Sergey,
Stav, and Bones.

630
00:39:04.848 --> 00:39:07.152
- Pleasure to meet you all.
- So, where's the golden boy?

631
00:39:07.254 --> 00:39:09.148
- He'll be here, Dad.
- He'd better be!

632
00:39:09.250 --> 00:39:12.054
We need him
to get back to some
real hetero ball playing.

633
00:39:12.156 --> 00:39:14.258
Let's cut to chase.

634
00:39:14.360 --> 00:39:17.957
We're looking
to make a deal today.

635
00:39:26.535 --> 00:39:28.165
<i>Welcome to the single life.</i>

636
00:39:31.910 --> 00:39:33.071
No way.

637
00:39:34.440 --> 00:39:37.281
<i>Hey, Kim. I heard
things are on the outs
with Roddy.</i>

638
00:39:37.383 --> 00:39:39.212
<i>Breakups are, like,
really hard.</i>

639
00:39:39.347 --> 00:39:42.119
<i>I want you to know
I'm here for you emotionally,
as a friend</i>

640
00:39:42.221 --> 00:39:43.751
<i>and also very much sexually.</i>

641
00:39:43.853 --> 00:39:46.722
<i>Anyway, I hope you like
this video. Subscribe.</i>

642
00:39:54.827 --> 00:39:57.029
Well, isn't this something?

643
00:39:57.131 --> 00:39:59.801
I didn't expect to see
your rat ass on my screen again.

644
00:39:59.903 --> 00:40:02.100
You know we can't talk to you.
We're with Kalvin now.

645
00:40:02.202 --> 00:40:05.202
- You guys are in the Klan?
Kalvin Kluck Klan!

646
00:40:05.771 --> 00:40:07.171
Kalvin takes care of us.

647
00:40:07.273 --> 00:40:10.313
Puts a roof over our heads.
He's a benevolent leader.

648
00:40:10.415 --> 00:40:12.481
Yeah, even if we weren't
with him,

649
00:40:12.583 --> 00:40:13.978
I mean, we can't be
talking to you.

650
00:40:14.080 --> 00:40:16.087
You got a maxed out tab
and no collateral.

651
00:40:16.189 --> 00:40:17.781
Look, I'm desperate, all right?

652
00:40:17.883 --> 00:40:19.282
What kind of keygen you need?

653
00:40:19.384 --> 00:40:23.456
- I need a backend
to Club Kaboom...

654
00:40:23.558 --> 00:40:25.122
...with bottle service.

655
00:40:25.224 --> 00:40:27.291
Tell me, Roddy,
you out of your mind?

656
00:40:27.393 --> 00:40:29.697
Club Kaboom is the most
heavily-guarded club
on the Internet.

657
00:40:29.799 --> 00:40:31.700
They've got firewalls
on top of firewalls.

658
00:40:31.802 --> 00:40:33.672
No way you're getting in there
without an invite.

659
00:40:33.774 --> 00:40:35.670
- I found a ruptured
open-source lockbox.
- That's impossible

660
00:40:35.772 --> 00:40:37.301
with the security protocols
in that place,

661
00:40:37.403 --> 00:40:39.069
probably get your ass kicked
sneaking into a place like that.

662
00:40:39.171 --> 00:40:42.239
That's a risk
I'm willing to take. Look...

663
00:40:43.517 --> 00:40:46.176
The girl I love
is going into that club tonight.

664
00:40:46.278 --> 00:40:49.213
If I don't get in there,
I could lose her forever.

665
00:40:49.348 --> 00:40:52.320
Kalvin Kluck Klan.
Kalvin Kluck Klan. <i>Gut Shabbos.</i>

666
00:40:52.422 --> 00:40:53.952
I know this sounds crazy,

667
00:40:54.054 --> 00:40:56.826
but I need your help
and I need that keygen.

668
00:40:56.928 --> 00:41:00.928
Okay. Listen, stop talking
for a second and listen to me.

669
00:41:01.030 --> 00:41:03.801
I... I have a guy who has access
to a skeleton keygen,

670
00:41:03.904 --> 00:41:07.605
but it's not gonna be cheap
and this didn't come
from me, okay?

671
00:41:10.676 --> 00:41:13.906
- So, are you coming?
- I haven't made up my mind.

672
00:41:14.008 --> 00:41:16.414
Ugh! Just come.
You're being so annoying.

673
00:41:16.516 --> 00:41:19.615
By the way, do you know
who Kalvin Kluck is?

674
00:41:19.717 --> 00:41:22.216
Yeah!
Kalvin Kluck Klan!

675
00:41:22.318 --> 00:41:25.851
He messaged me, like,
the second I changed
my relationship status.

676
00:41:25.953 --> 00:41:27.888
Oh, my God.
He's actually kinda hot.

677
00:41:27.990 --> 00:41:31.194
He's like Roddy's arch.
That doesn't feel... fair.

678
00:41:31.296 --> 00:41:32.762
Oh, my God. Screw Roddy.

679
00:41:34.401 --> 00:41:36.299
<i>I'm going
to Club Kaboom tonight.</i>

680
00:41:36.401 --> 00:41:38.799
<i>You should come. Subscribe.</i>

681
00:41:38.935 --> 00:41:40.305
- Who was that?
<i>- You're never gonna believe</i>

682
00:41:40.407 --> 00:41:41.666
who's coming
to the party tonight.

683
00:41:41.768 --> 00:41:43.371
Oh, my God. Tobey Maguire?

684
00:41:43.473 --> 00:41:45.775
No.  Kalvin.

685
00:41:45.877 --> 00:41:48.745
Get it, girl! Come on.
Get dressed. We're going out.

686
00:41:52.815 --> 00:41:55.185
Danny, are you coming down
for dinner?

687
00:41:55.287 --> 00:41:56.851
I'm not hungry.

688
00:41:56.953 --> 00:41:59.317
What the hell
is he even doing up there?

689
00:41:59.419 --> 00:42:02.727
You know I can't talk about it.
Doctor-patient confidentiality.

690
00:42:02.829 --> 00:42:06.261
- I don't know.
- He's not a patient, Devine.
He's our son.

691
00:42:06.363 --> 00:42:07.827
Only biologically.

692
00:42:07.963 --> 00:42:09.660
<i>You should see me
right now.</i>

693
00:42:09.762 --> 00:42:12.603
<i>I'm sprawled out on my futon,
in just a bathrobe
and jean shorts.</i>

694
00:42:12.705 --> 00:42:15.206
<i>You could fry an egg
on my pectoral muscles.</i>

695
00:42:15.309 --> 00:42:17.004
- What were you saying?
- Um...

696
00:42:17.106 --> 00:42:19.275
<i>Why don't you come
join me in the tub?</i>

697
00:42:19.410 --> 00:42:21.276
<i>The water is so warm.</i>

698
00:42:21.411 --> 00:42:22.672
<i>Perfect for denim.</i>

699
00:42:22.774 --> 00:42:24.011
I think, uh...

700
00:42:24.745 --> 00:42:26.149
Danny is on the dark web.

701
00:42:26.251 --> 00:42:27.719
Oh, that's great!

702
00:42:27.821 --> 00:42:30.215
Uh, what is that?
A Black Lives Matter thing?

703
00:42:30.350 --> 00:42:33.017
<i>My jean shorts
are busting at the seams.</i>

704
00:42:33.119 --> 00:42:34.752
<i>I'll meet you
at the night club.</i>

705
00:42:34.854 --> 00:42:36.727
Black Lives Matter? No.

706
00:42:36.829 --> 00:42:39.763
I think he's selling weapons
to Iran or something.

707
00:42:39.865 --> 00:42:43.463
Uh, he's a hard worker,
just like his old man, huh?

708
00:42:43.565 --> 00:42:45.997
I'm so sick of this.

709
00:42:46.099 --> 00:42:49.768
You don't listen
and you don't care.

710
00:42:49.870 --> 00:42:51.707
I heard everything you said.

711
00:42:51.810 --> 00:42:54.713
Our son is selling arms
to Black Lives Matter.

712
00:42:54.815 --> 00:42:57.278
- Where are you going now?
- I'm going to do some laundry.

713
00:42:57.380 --> 00:42:59.109
More laundry?

714
00:42:59.211 --> 00:43:01.950
Who's wearing
all these damn clothes?

715
00:43:10.927 --> 00:43:13.464
Hello, this is Roddy,
Mr. Megladon, sir.

716
00:43:13.566 --> 00:43:15.865
I'm a gamer.
I go by "Roddy Danger."

717
00:43:18.164 --> 00:43:21.070
But you have
seen my streams, sir?

718
00:43:21.172 --> 00:43:25.437
I need a open source
skeleton keygen
to get into a cyber club.

719
00:43:33.179 --> 00:43:35.379
Okay, I don't know
who or what that is.

720
00:43:38.286 --> 00:43:41.825
Jesus! What the hell?
I have to call the police now.

721
00:43:42.956 --> 00:43:44.729
So, what are you, like, 12?

722
00:43:45.595 --> 00:43:46.861
Okay, kid, listen to me.

723
00:43:46.964 --> 00:43:48.963
The girl I love is going
into that club tonight,

724
00:43:49.065 --> 00:43:51.065
if I don't get in there,
I could lose her forever.

725
00:43:53.866 --> 00:43:56.941
I don't understand.
Why would you lose her forever?

726
00:43:57.043 --> 00:43:58.138
It's...

727
00:43:59.572 --> 00:44:01.906
It's just like there's gonna be
a bunch of guys in there,

728
00:44:02.009 --> 00:44:06.280
you know, and I'm just afraid
she's gonna meet some gamer
who has his shit together

729
00:44:06.383 --> 00:44:09.312
and fall in love with him,
you know, like,
someone who's ranked.

730
00:44:09.415 --> 00:44:11.153
Yeah, because
you're kind of a little bitch.

731
00:44:11.255 --> 00:44:13.650
Okay, don't say
mean things to people.
Where are your parents?

732
00:44:13.752 --> 00:44:15.858
I can talk to you
however I want.
I have something you need.

733
00:44:15.960 --> 00:44:18.027
Okay. Well, I have money.
I have grown-up money.

734
00:44:18.129 --> 00:44:21.726
- Yeah? How much?
- I have, uh, $1,700
in traveler's checks.

735
00:44:21.828 --> 00:44:24.964
Are you high? I mean,
we're not even in the same
conversation right now.

736
00:44:25.066 --> 00:44:26.930
Besides, I only take
Bitcoin or Ether.

737
00:44:27.032 --> 00:44:31.138
Okay, what if I get you the,
uh, French tugboat
from Alexandra Ocasia Cor...

738
00:44:31.240 --> 00:44:34.075
- whatever her name is?
- Natalia Dominguez Martinez.

739
00:44:34.177 --> 00:44:38.679
Okay, yeah, her. Okay, so,
I get the tugboat from her,

740
00:44:38.782 --> 00:44:42.919
- and then you give me the key?
- Sure, but I mean, good luck
getting her to give it up.

741
00:44:45.056 --> 00:44:48.486
Sure, I can do that.
Just tell me where to find her.

742
00:44:48.588 --> 00:44:51.259
- What's the hold up, Barry?
- He said he was gonna be here,

743
00:44:51.362 --> 00:44:53.795
I'm sure he's just
planning on coming in
at the second quarter.

744
00:44:53.897 --> 00:44:56.460
You're embarrassing me.
Go get him.

745
00:44:59.604 --> 00:45:00.970
- Yo.
- Where are you, man?

746
00:45:01.072 --> 00:45:02.903
You were supposed to be
in this meeting 30 minutes ago.

747
00:45:03.005 --> 00:45:04.569
Yeah, this girl
never got back to me

748
00:45:04.671 --> 00:45:07.673
and I really thought
we hit if off,
so I decided not to come.

749
00:45:07.775 --> 00:45:10.674
- Gotta brush up on the V-Ball.
<i>- Here's what
I don't understand, man.</i>

750
00:45:10.777 --> 00:45:14.418
You begged me.
You begged me to find you
a place to play ball.

751
00:45:14.520 --> 00:45:18.455
I do that. And all you have
to do is show up to this meeting
and you can't do that?

752
00:45:18.557 --> 00:45:20.220
I told you, I'm not going alone.

753
00:45:20.322 --> 00:45:22.924
You don't have to bring a date
to a business meeting!

754
00:45:23.026 --> 00:45:24.827
Also, why would this girl
flake on you?

755
00:45:24.929 --> 00:45:27.290
I don't know,
maybe she was intimidated.

756
00:45:27.392 --> 00:45:29.231
- Monte...
- I sandbagged, all right?

757
00:45:29.333 --> 00:45:31.900
Dear God, did you at least
tell me you got
tested afterwards?

758
00:45:32.003 --> 00:45:34.537
What? No, man.
That's not what sandbagging is.

759
00:45:34.639 --> 00:45:38.368
You said that I shouldn't
date girls who just want me
for my status or whatever,

760
00:45:38.471 --> 00:45:41.205
so I told Chatbot
I was a high school coach.

761
00:45:41.307 --> 00:45:43.480
That is not at all
what I meant! No!

762
00:45:43.582 --> 00:45:44.913
You went way too far with that.

763
00:45:45.016 --> 00:45:46.743
Dude, just please don't change
into something

764
00:45:46.845 --> 00:45:49.448
that makes you look
little bit less
like a giant speed skater

765
00:45:49.550 --> 00:45:52.217
- and get into
this meeting, please!
- Not without a date.

766
00:45:55.689 --> 00:45:57.026
Okay.

767
00:45:58.628 --> 00:46:00.161
Here goes nothing.

768
00:46:05.837 --> 00:46:09.401
No, no.
Whoa!

769
00:46:23.448 --> 00:46:25.690
Why are you here?
You're a grown-up.

770
00:46:25.792 --> 00:46:27.318
Oh, no, no.
I'm not a creep or anything.

771
00:46:27.420 --> 00:46:30.259
I just need a French tugboat
from a pre-teen.

772
00:46:30.361 --> 00:46:35.526
- I see. You seek Natalia.
Take you to her, I will.
- Thank you.

773
00:46:48.244 --> 00:46:52.216
- Natalia?
- I know you,
you're Roddy Danger.

774
00:46:52.318 --> 00:46:55.313
- I saw your stream last night.
You've really lost it.
- Yeah, I know.

775
00:46:55.415 --> 00:46:57.516
- What are you doing here?
- I need a favor.

776
00:46:57.618 --> 00:47:00.758
- A favor?
- Legally, I can't really ask you
to do anything.

777
00:47:00.861 --> 00:47:03.589
Just, uh, think of this
more as a suggestion.

778
00:47:03.692 --> 00:47:06.926
And I just wanna let you know
I did see
the Epstein documentary.

779
00:47:07.028 --> 00:47:09.128
- Horrifying.
- Who's Epstein?

780
00:47:09.230 --> 00:47:13.137
Not important.
So, there's this guy

781
00:47:13.240 --> 00:47:14.932
and, uh...

782
00:47:15.034 --> 00:47:18.809
- Well, he... He seems
to really like you a lot.
- Okay? I'm listening.

783
00:47:18.912 --> 00:47:21.640
And, uh, he wants you
to give him something.

784
00:47:21.742 --> 00:47:24.849
I'm not sure I like
where this is going.
What does he want?

785
00:47:24.951 --> 00:47:27.845
- He wants a, uh...
- Spit it out. What does he want?

786
00:47:27.947 --> 00:47:30.018
French tugboat.

787
00:47:30.120 --> 00:47:32.789
It's that nerdy sixth grader,
isn't it?

788
00:47:32.891 --> 00:47:34.492
What does he
call himself, Megatron?

789
00:47:34.594 --> 00:47:36.093
Megladon. He's a great guy.

790
00:47:36.195 --> 00:47:39.356
Really likes you a lot.
And, um, he's gotta have
that tugboat.

791
00:47:39.458 --> 00:47:41.861
Really? Conventional
or a tractor?

792
00:47:41.963 --> 00:47:43.463
Uh, conventional, I think.

793
00:47:43.565 --> 00:47:45.865
- How many thrusters?
- I don't know.
And I don't wanna know.

794
00:47:45.967 --> 00:47:47.498
I just know he wants one.

795
00:47:47.600 --> 00:47:50.272
Every teenage boy wants one.
What's in it for me?

796
00:47:50.374 --> 00:47:53.339
- I've got
some traveler's checks.
- Ew, gross! I'm a child!

797
00:47:53.441 --> 00:47:55.706
That's not what I meant.
I'll tell you what I want.

798
00:47:55.808 --> 00:47:58.545
- Get me
into the Kalvin Kluck Klan.
- Oh, come on. Really?

799
00:47:58.648 --> 00:48:01.550
Get me into the Klan
and I'll give Megladon
his French tugboat.

800
00:48:01.652 --> 00:48:04.120
Okay.

801
00:48:14.161 --> 00:48:16.066
Nah, this ain't gonna work.

802
00:48:23.607 --> 00:48:24.668
Okey-dokey.

803
00:48:29.976 --> 00:48:32.581
ID? Oh, shit!

804
00:48:32.683 --> 00:48:34.051
La Monte Mar Jones!

805
00:48:34.153 --> 00:48:36.420
I had you on my daily fantasy
before you got canceled.

806
00:48:36.522 --> 00:48:39.152
Bro, I don't care
who you senselessly murdered
with your negligence.

807
00:48:39.254 --> 00:48:41.158
Be cool, playa.
Don't make a scene.

808
00:48:41.260 --> 00:48:44.087
Fo sho, fo sho, fo sho.
I just gotta check you
real quick.

809
00:48:44.189 --> 00:48:45.926
All right, you good.

810
00:48:46.028 --> 00:48:47.193
Oh, shit, don't cough on me!

811
00:48:47.295 --> 00:48:48.659
Sorry,
I'm just kidding.

812
00:48:54.003 --> 00:48:56.568
That's it. We're doing this.

813
00:49:01.608 --> 00:49:03.675
You can't cut!
I've been here for two hours!

814
00:49:03.777 --> 00:49:06.378
I'm sorry! It's just the girl
I love is going into the club

815
00:49:06.481 --> 00:49:09.813
and if I don't get in there...
Uh, never mind!

816
00:49:09.915 --> 00:49:13.251
Roddy Danger?
What are you doing here?
You're not ranked.

817
00:49:13.353 --> 00:49:15.052
-  Hey, Kalvin.
- Hey, man.

818
00:49:15.154 --> 00:49:17.794
I would love to stick around
and give you an autograph
or something,

819
00:49:17.896 --> 00:49:19.224
but I gotta get inside. Subscribe.

820
00:49:19.326 --> 00:49:21.295
Actually, Kalvin,
I need a favor.

821
00:49:21.397 --> 00:49:23.793
Oh, okay. I'm gonna
try to put this delicately.

822
00:49:23.895 --> 00:49:26.702
I think you're a wannabe,
talentless piece of shit,

823
00:49:26.804 --> 00:49:30.873
and I am really not interested
in doing any charity work
right now. Subscribe.

824
00:49:30.975 --> 00:49:32.073
You know what?
I'm sorry I asked.

825
00:49:32.175 --> 00:49:33.405
I hope you have
a great night in there.

826
00:49:33.508 --> 00:49:35.206
Oh, thanks, man.
I'll say hi to Kimberly for you.

827
00:49:35.308 --> 00:49:38.016
You'll do what now?

828
00:49:42.449 --> 00:49:44.619
Barry, I'm here.
Just waiting on my date.

829
00:49:44.721 --> 00:49:47.325
She's in the meeting already.
What the hell
did you do to yourself?

830
00:49:47.427 --> 00:49:50.426
You look like Urkel!
Could you put on a normal avatar
and get in here?

831
00:49:50.529 --> 00:49:53.263
- I don't know why you teabagged
in the first place.
- Sandbagged.

832
00:49:53.365 --> 00:49:55.996
Whatever. When she sees how much
money you're about to make,

833
00:49:56.098 --> 00:49:57.695
none of that's gonna matter.

834
00:50:05.037 --> 00:50:08.475
Where's Sally?
You... You texted me
that she was here already.

835
00:50:08.577 --> 00:50:10.609
Yeah. She... She just
stepped out. Here, have a seat.

836
00:50:13.083 --> 00:50:14.548
Hey, I got
the Kalvin Kluck Coin.

837
00:50:14.650 --> 00:50:16.885
- That's what you need, right?
- Yeah. How did you get it?

838
00:50:16.987 --> 00:50:19.156
- Oh, my God. Oh, no!
- What?

839
00:50:19.258 --> 00:50:20.783
- Oh, that wasn't supposed
to happen.
- Tell me.

840
00:50:20.885 --> 00:50:23.258
I used Crypto Klepto
to get a Kalvin Kluck Coin,

841
00:50:23.360 --> 00:50:24.955
so I could get you
into the Kalvin Kluck Klan.

842
00:50:25.058 --> 00:50:27.824
- Candidly, Crypto Klepto
caught his whole crypto clutch.
- So what?

843
00:50:27.926 --> 00:50:30.431
So, I guess I mistakenly
kleptoed all his crypto cash.

844
00:50:30.533 --> 00:50:32.233
If that ends up
on the blockchain,
you're finished!

845
00:50:32.335 --> 00:50:33.664
- You got to dekleptonate.
- Dekleptonate?

846
00:50:33.766 --> 00:50:36.137
Yeah. You have to reverse
the algorithm, and fast,

847
00:50:36.239 --> 00:50:37.436
before the next
hashing cycle completes.

848
00:50:37.538 --> 00:50:39.207
We're talking
less than 15 minutes here.

849
00:50:39.309 --> 00:50:41.078
Okay. What happens
if I don't reverse it?

850
00:50:41.180 --> 00:50:42.473
That's like, Grand Theft Auto,
except with money.

851
00:50:42.575 --> 00:50:44.111
You'll probably
go to prison, idiot.

852
00:50:44.213 --> 00:50:45.877
- It was an accident.
- Not really.

853
00:50:45.980 --> 00:50:48.783
Look, Kalvin is in that club.
I need the keygen
to get in there

854
00:50:48.885 --> 00:50:51.614
and I still need you
to give Megladon the thing
I need you to give him.

855
00:50:51.716 --> 00:50:53.922
All right.
I'm taking care of that now.

856
00:50:54.024 --> 00:50:55.152
- Done.

857
00:50:55.254 --> 00:50:56.689
You just did it now?

858
00:50:56.791 --> 00:50:59.156
I guess I thought it would, uh,
take a little bit longer.

859
00:50:59.258 --> 00:51:01.363
Okay, one second.

860
00:51:01.465 --> 00:51:04.564
Roddy, I got the tugboat
from Natalia. She's incredible.

861
00:51:04.666 --> 00:51:08.138
No, don't tell me anything.
Just, uh, wash your hands.

862
00:51:08.240 --> 00:51:10.438
And, uh, please don't
tell anyone I'm involved.

863
00:51:10.540 --> 00:51:12.536
- Here, lemme send you a picture.
- Definitely do not.

864
00:51:12.638 --> 00:51:14.272
Do... I repeat
do not send a picture.

865
00:51:14.374 --> 00:51:16.211
Just please send the keygen.

866
00:51:16.313 --> 00:51:18.446
Yeah, uh, I got your keygen.
Sending now.

867
00:51:20.883 --> 00:51:23.150
Oh, yeah.

868
00:51:23.252 --> 00:51:25.286
- Right, okay.

869
00:51:25.388 --> 00:51:27.618
That's... That's...
That French tugboat.

870
00:51:27.720 --> 00:51:29.458
What did you think
a French tugboat was?

871
00:51:29.560 --> 00:51:31.958
You some kind of pervert?
This isn't Palm Beach island.

872
00:51:32.060 --> 00:51:35.597
I know. And, uh, I was horrified
by that documentary,
just so you know.

873
00:51:35.700 --> 00:51:37.829
- How did you even
get this thing?
- We don't need to talk about it.

874
00:51:37.931 --> 00:51:40.631
Well, thank you. And if you have
a chance to speak to Natalia,

875
00:51:40.733 --> 00:51:42.639
can you please tell her
to stop sexting me?

876
00:51:42.741 --> 00:51:46.844
Can you all just
figure your shit out
and stop middlemanning me?

877
00:51:46.946 --> 00:51:48.872
Y'all need Jesus
and cold showers.

878
00:51:57.122 --> 00:51:59.115
Chatty, I need to
check in with Barry.

879
00:51:59.217 --> 00:52:02.087
Why don't I meet you
on the dance floor
in, like, 10 minutes?

880
00:52:02.189 --> 00:52:03.557
Oh, I'll be there.

881
00:52:12.135 --> 00:52:13.633
I'm so sorry I'm late.

882
00:52:14.933 --> 00:52:17.705
No, I'm glad you made it.
You're just in time.

883
00:52:17.807 --> 00:52:21.877
- I want you to meet Vlad,
Sergey, Stav, and Bones.
- A pleasure.

884
00:52:21.979 --> 00:52:24.811
The pleasure is all mine.

885
00:52:26.852 --> 00:52:28.285
Now you two kiss hands.

886
00:52:28.387 --> 00:52:31.084
- Dad, you were saying...
the league?
- Oh, yes, yes.

887
00:52:31.186 --> 00:52:33.189
When I say "Antarctica,"

888
00:52:33.291 --> 00:52:35.254
what's the first thing
that comes to mind?

889
00:52:35.356 --> 00:52:38.123
Cold. Eskimos. The South Pole.

890
00:52:38.225 --> 00:52:39.690
Well, not anymore.

891
00:52:39.793 --> 00:52:43.493
We're turning Antarctica
into a hotbed for hoops.

892
00:52:43.595 --> 00:52:46.529
We're turning this... into this.

893
00:52:46.631 --> 00:52:48.232
Don't Eskimos live in the North?

894
00:53:07.152 --> 00:53:09.791
Wait, wait. There's nothing
down there. Where we gonna play?

895
00:53:09.893 --> 00:53:13.994
Thats where my new friends,
Vlad, Sergey,
Stav, and Bones come in.

896
00:53:14.096 --> 00:53:18.168
They have financed arenas
and sporting franchises
all over the world.

897
00:53:18.270 --> 00:53:20.435
They've secured a piece of land
right across

898
00:53:20.537 --> 00:53:23.503
from Druzhnaya Airport
in Princess Elizabeth Land

899
00:53:23.606 --> 00:53:25.868
and we're planning
to break ground next week.

900
00:53:25.970 --> 00:53:28.642
Well, do we have
any other players signed on?

901
00:53:28.744 --> 00:53:31.644
Of course. We're talking
to Rudy Gobert, Furkan Korkmaz,

902
00:53:31.746 --> 00:53:34.346
- DJ Hightower, Nerlens Noel...
- We need to talk.

903
00:53:34.448 --> 00:53:35.746
Not now. This is important.

904
00:53:35.882 --> 00:53:38.114
...Chad Michael Murray,
the kid from <i>Like Mike.</i>

905
00:53:38.216 --> 00:53:41.419
- We're even working on a deal
with Teen Wolf.
- Yes, now.

906
00:53:41.521 --> 00:53:44.188
We're closing here. It can wait.

907
00:53:44.290 --> 00:53:45.791
No, it can't.

908
00:53:47.027 --> 00:53:49.231
Ugh! What are you...
Are you crazy?
What are you doing?

909
00:53:49.333 --> 00:53:50.363
You need to get La Monte
out of there.

910
00:53:50.465 --> 00:53:52.097
No, we're about to sign
the deal.

911
00:53:52.199 --> 00:53:54.501
I overheard the Russians.
They're planning on drugging
his avatar

912
00:53:54.604 --> 00:53:56.833
with a virus that could take out
all of V-Sports.

913
00:53:56.935 --> 00:53:58.640
That's ridiculous.
Why would they do that?

914
00:53:58.742 --> 00:54:00.608
So they could corner the market
with their Antarctica League.

915
00:54:00.710 --> 00:54:02.974
- Why La Monte?
- Because he is like
Scotty Bippin.

916
00:54:03.076 --> 00:54:06.678
If Scotty Bippin
was the most contagious man
in the world!

917
00:54:06.780 --> 00:54:09.748
You just wanna ruin everything,
don't you?

918
00:54:09.850 --> 00:54:12.587
You just wanna see me fail,
so you can sit back

919
00:54:12.689 --> 00:54:15.488
and laugh at me, you and that
digital dildo of yours.

920
00:54:15.590 --> 00:54:17.458
- Leave Chatty out of it.
- Chatty. Is it?

921
00:54:17.560 --> 00:54:19.423
You think
I'm the one ruining your life?

922
00:54:19.525 --> 00:54:22.933
You're trying so hard to impress
your macho father
and he doesn't care about you.

923
00:54:23.035 --> 00:54:25.501
That's not true! He loves me!

924
00:54:26.504 --> 00:54:29.840
- I'm his bear.
- Barry. you have to believe me,

925
00:54:29.942 --> 00:54:31.936
I say this because I care.

926
00:54:32.978 --> 00:54:34.573
Damn it, Angela.

927
00:54:34.675 --> 00:54:36.740
You need to be
very, very careful.

928
00:54:36.842 --> 00:54:39.611
If they know you know,
we're all dead.

929
00:54:39.713 --> 00:54:42.012
- You gotta get La Monte out.
- Okay.

930
00:54:43.087 --> 00:54:45.450
Okay. I have an idea.

931
00:54:45.552 --> 00:54:47.587
I don't understand why you're...

932
00:54:47.689 --> 00:54:50.658
What do you call it,
"sandbagging" yourself?

933
00:54:50.760 --> 00:54:53.691
Because I've finally met someone
who likes me for me,

934
00:54:53.793 --> 00:54:56.296
not because of my fame
or my looks.

935
00:54:56.398 --> 00:54:58.901
Ugh. Should we be doing this?

936
00:54:59.003 --> 00:55:00.866
Yes. Yes, we should.

937
00:55:00.968 --> 00:55:02.965
- What's goin' on, ladies?
You have tickets?
- Duh.

938
00:55:03.067 --> 00:55:05.941
- Well, can I see them?
- Yeah, here you go.

939
00:55:06.043 --> 00:55:09.645
Have a great night.
Hey, just so you know,
there's no smoking inside.

940
00:55:09.747 --> 00:55:13.613
Vapes, real cigs, or candy cigs,
to look cool in front of kids.

941
00:55:13.716 --> 00:55:15.552
Ah, cool, thanks.
Clarissa, are you coming?

942
00:55:15.654 --> 00:55:19.122
I can't find my ticket.
I'm on Coach Swish's
list though.

943
00:55:19.224 --> 00:55:21.191
OMG, that's so epic.
Oh, my gosh.

944
00:55:21.293 --> 00:55:22.852
He put you on his list?
That's big-time.

945
00:55:22.954 --> 00:55:24.524
That means he really must
like you.

946
00:55:24.626 --> 00:55:26.390
Psych. That's a fake name, sweetheart.

947
00:55:26.492 --> 00:55:29.059
- There's no Coach Swish on here.
- No, he said he would
put me on the list.

948
00:55:29.161 --> 00:55:31.796
Is everything okay?
Do you want me to wait for you?

949
00:55:31.898 --> 00:55:33.668
No, no. Go ahead,
I'll be in in a minute.

950
00:55:33.770 --> 00:55:35.931
I am so sorry about that.
Angela, can you excuse us

951
00:55:36.033 --> 00:55:37.873
for a few minutes
to wrap this one up?

952
00:55:37.975 --> 00:55:40.476
Just grab a drink or something.
I'll meet you
on the dance floor.

953
00:55:40.578 --> 00:55:42.105
- So, where were we?
Let's cut to chase.

954
00:55:42.207 --> 00:55:46.077
We want Monte Mar to be
the face of the new league.

955
00:55:46.179 --> 00:55:49.852
- Well, I like the sound of that.
- You know, I just remembered

956
00:55:49.954 --> 00:55:53.388
La Monte has a really
severe case
of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

957
00:55:53.490 --> 00:55:56.025
I told you that
in confidence, Barry!

958
00:55:56.127 --> 00:55:57.558
Ah, this is not a problem.

959
00:55:57.661 --> 00:56:01.424
Only one season
in Antarctica: cold and colder.

960
00:56:01.526 --> 00:56:04.827
- That's two seasons.
- We're willing to make
a very generous offer.

961
00:56:04.929 --> 00:56:07.438
What kind of offer
are we talking?

962
00:56:11.272 --> 00:56:15.006
- That's what's up.
- Just give me one moment
to discuss with my client.

963
00:56:20.349 --> 00:56:22.319
What the hell? Barry!

964
00:56:22.421 --> 00:56:24.687
Okay, here's the deal.
There is no deal.

965
00:56:24.789 --> 00:56:27.784
La Monte is never going
to survive two weeks
in Antarctica,

966
00:56:27.886 --> 00:56:29.787
much less six months
of darkness.

967
00:56:29.889 --> 00:56:31.561
You'd be making
a horrible mistake.

968
00:56:31.663 --> 00:56:36.434
Perhaps I am not the one
making the horrible mistake.

969
00:56:36.536 --> 00:56:39.432
You're treading into
very dangerous territory, boy.

970
00:56:39.534 --> 00:56:41.271
I know exactly what I'm doing.

971
00:56:41.373 --> 00:56:44.934
Listen, to your papa.
He's smart man.

972
00:56:45.036 --> 00:56:48.271
You sign deal,
you leave here alive.

973
00:56:48.373 --> 00:56:53.847
- And if I don't?
- Then you leave here
how you say "not alive."

974
00:57:27.080 --> 00:57:29.815
<i>I just got in line.
Are you here?</i>

975
00:57:29.951 --> 00:57:32.455
<i>I'm about 20 feet
from the front.</i>

976
00:57:32.591 --> 00:57:36.555
<i>Oh, my God!
My husband is here.</i>

977
00:57:36.657 --> 00:57:38.395
<i>That lying son of a bitch.</i>

978
00:57:38.531 --> 00:57:41.364
<i>What an asshole!
I'll kick his ass!</i>

979
00:57:41.500 --> 00:57:42.960
<i>We need to find
a disguise now.</i>

980
00:57:43.095 --> 00:57:44.964
<i>Yeah, yeah.
Good idea. Where?</i>

981
00:57:54.077 --> 00:57:56.040
<i>Raise your hand
so I can see you.
- I'm right here.</i>

982
00:57:56.142 --> 00:57:59.347
<i>I see you. It looks like
my husband's gone, too.</i>

983
00:57:59.449 --> 00:58:01.750
<i>Or that bastard must be inside.</i>

984
00:58:08.326 --> 00:58:09.358
Guess who?

985
00:58:09.460 --> 00:58:10.820
It's me, Kalvin Kluck. Subscribe.

986
00:58:10.922 --> 00:58:13.464
Oh.  Hey, Kalvin.

987
00:58:13.566 --> 00:58:15.191
- What's up, <i>mamacita?</i>
- Thanks for inviting me.

988
00:58:15.293 --> 00:58:17.031
- Yeah, no doubt.
You want a drink?
- Uh, sure.

989
00:58:17.166 --> 00:58:21.699
<i>Amigo! Dos</i> Dos Equis.
<i>Comprende?</i>
That's <i>quattro</i> Equis.

990
00:58:21.801 --> 00:58:23.935
<i>Actually, I only drink Odyssey.</i>

991
00:58:24.070 --> 00:58:25.741
<i>A refreshing and delicious
energy drink</i>

992
00:58:25.876 --> 00:58:27.909
<i>for mood enhancement
and peak mental performance.</i>

993
00:58:28.011 --> 00:58:31.678
<i>With only 35 calories, Odyssey
uses nootropic ingredients</i>

994
00:58:31.814 --> 00:58:33.780
<i>like lion's mane
and cordyceps mushrooms</i>

995
00:58:33.916 --> 00:58:35.984
<i>to provide
long-lasting clarity and focus</i>

996
00:58:36.086 --> 00:58:39.151
<i>without the crash and jitters
of other leading energy drinks.</i>

997
00:58:39.253 --> 00:58:42.419
<i>Odyssey Elixir.
Tap into the global
mycelial network</i>

998
00:58:42.521 --> 00:58:46.225
<i>and the consciousness-raising
power of Metatron's Cube today.</i>

999
00:58:46.328 --> 00:58:47.829
Um, what?

1000
00:58:48.562 --> 00:58:49.961
Ah, that's weird.

1001
00:58:50.063 --> 00:58:52.535
Oh, I... I got it.
It's the least I can do.

1002
00:58:52.637 --> 00:58:55.071
Ah, subscribe.
I guess chivalry isn't dead.

1003
00:58:55.173 --> 00:58:57.305
Uh, what... Right.

1004
00:58:57.407 --> 00:59:00.875
Hey. So, like, no offense,
but do you want to go somewhere
a little more quiet?

1005
00:59:01.474 --> 00:59:03.042
Sure.

1006
00:59:10.987 --> 00:59:13.822
- This some bullshit right here.

1007
00:59:16.292 --> 00:59:17.728
This is Swish.

1008
00:59:17.830 --> 00:59:20.191
Hey, I'm outside the club,
but they're not letting me in.

1009
00:59:20.293 --> 00:59:23.326
- I thought you were in already.
- Nope, just got here.

1010
00:59:24.095 --> 00:59:26.368
- Barry!
- Can you come get me?

1011
00:59:26.470 --> 00:59:28.804
<i>Okey-dokey. Be right out.</i>

1012
00:59:32.137 --> 00:59:34.774
Whoa, slow your role,
plain Jane.

1013
00:59:34.876 --> 00:59:38.248
It's all good, big guy.
She's with me.

1014
00:59:38.350 --> 00:59:42.013
Oh, that's what up.
Why didn't you tell me you were
here with La Monte Mar Jones?

1015
00:59:42.115 --> 00:59:45.582
- Because I'm not here with him?
- Seriously?

1016
00:59:45.684 --> 00:59:49.151
- Wait, isn't that the guy
who infected the entire NBA?
- Allegedly.

1017
00:59:49.253 --> 00:59:52.089
Wait a second.
Take off your Avatar.

1018
00:59:52.191 --> 00:59:55.164
- I really shouldn't.
- Take it off. Do it.

1019
00:59:55.266 --> 00:59:58.000
- I'm not really comfortable
with the whole idea.
- Show me some skin!

1020
00:59:58.102 --> 00:59:59.263
Fine!

1021
01:00:00.237 --> 01:00:01.831
You lied to me!

1022
01:00:01.933 --> 01:00:05.439
You're that
basketball player who killed
Viviane Donner's gam-gam!

1023
01:00:05.541 --> 01:00:07.208
It wasn't even like that.

1024
01:00:07.310 --> 01:00:10.811
You don't know
what it's like to get canceled
for an innocent mistake!

1025
01:00:10.913 --> 01:00:13.113
You know what?
Just leave me alone, okay?

1026
01:00:13.215 --> 01:00:16.016
I'm gonna go find my friend
and we're getting out of here.

1027
01:00:18.323 --> 01:00:19.922
- What?
- Oh. Uh, hey.

1028
01:00:20.024 --> 01:00:23.155
Couldn't help but overhear.
Are you La Monte Mar Jones?

1029
01:00:23.257 --> 01:00:25.863
Why don't you
take a screenshot?
It'll last longer.

1030
01:00:25.965 --> 01:00:28.925
No, no. I'm not a fan
or anything. I mean,
I'm not not a fan.

1031
01:00:29.027 --> 01:00:32.162
I'm just hoping you might be
willing to use your celebrity
to help me get in there.

1032
01:00:32.264 --> 01:00:34.967
I accidentally stole
like a hundred grand

1033
01:00:35.069 --> 01:00:37.271
and also the love of my life
is in there.

1034
01:00:37.373 --> 01:00:39.103
Love is a lie.

1035
01:00:39.205 --> 01:00:41.174
Now leave me the hell alone
before I shove

1036
01:00:41.276 --> 01:00:43.711
- my size-17 sneaker
up your narrow...

1037
01:00:43.813 --> 01:00:46.309
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.

1038
01:00:46.411 --> 01:00:48.750
- We're old friends.

1039
01:00:48.853 --> 01:00:51.347
I've got tons of nerdy-looking
white friends.

1040
01:00:51.449 --> 01:00:53.854
- He's also with me.
- You know I would, Monte,

1041
01:00:53.956 --> 01:00:55.689
but we at capacity
with dudes right now.

1042
01:00:55.791 --> 01:00:57.619
You know
this isn't coming from me.

1043
01:00:57.721 --> 01:00:59.823
I'm just not trying
to get shut down
by the fire department.

1044
01:00:59.925 --> 01:01:01.525
- I tried, dawg.
- Sir?

1045
01:01:01.628 --> 01:01:04.061
- Not happening.
- You don't get it.
I need to get into that club.

1046
01:01:04.163 --> 01:01:05.703
Yeah, and I need
a French tugboat...

1047
01:01:05.805 --> 01:01:07.237
What the hell is it
with you people and tugboats?

1048
01:01:07.339 --> 01:01:08.638
Oh, you people is it?

1049
01:01:08.740 --> 01:01:10.772
- No, don't do that.

1050
01:01:10.875 --> 01:01:12.602
You tell him why
you're really going in there.

1051
01:01:12.704 --> 01:01:15.337
- And I want you
to speak from the heart.
- Speak from your heart.

1052
01:01:15.440 --> 01:01:18.046
- I just said that, baby.
- Right. Sorry, go ahead.

1053
01:01:18.148 --> 01:01:20.916
I accidentally stole
a very large sum
of crypto from someone

1054
01:01:21.018 --> 01:01:23.249
and I need to return it
before the next hashing cycle.

1055
01:01:23.351 --> 01:01:26.653
No. I want you to tell him
why you're really here, Roddy.

1056
01:01:26.755 --> 01:01:28.824
Really, really here, Roddy.

1057
01:01:28.926 --> 01:01:31.589
- Oh, baby, again.
- Yeah, okay. Shh. You do it.

1058
01:01:31.691 --> 01:01:33.490
The truth is,

1059
01:01:33.592 --> 01:01:36.461
I messed things up big-time
with the girl of my dreams.

1060
01:01:36.564 --> 01:01:39.434
And I know she's in there
right now
and if I don't get to her,

1061
01:01:39.536 --> 01:01:40.970
I could lose her forever.

1062
01:01:41.072 --> 01:01:44.473
Wow. You really mean that?
You're doing this for true love?

1063
01:01:44.575 --> 01:01:46.403
Yes, this is all for true love.

1064
01:01:46.505 --> 01:01:49.478
You know, I told myself
this morning when I woke up

1065
01:01:49.580 --> 01:01:51.946
do not let any more dudes in,

1066
01:01:52.048 --> 01:01:54.550
but you have tugged
at the heartstrings, bro.

1067
01:01:54.652 --> 01:01:56.683
Rules are made
to be broken, huh?

1068
01:01:56.785 --> 01:01:58.585
Especially, in the name of love.

1069
01:01:58.687 --> 01:02:00.483
I love a good love story.

1070
01:02:00.618 --> 01:02:03.654
- I've seen
<i>Bridget Jones's Diary</i> twice.
- Uh-huh.

1071
01:02:03.756 --> 01:02:08.029
Cool.
So, I'm just gonna
head in there real quick.

1072
01:02:09.660 --> 01:02:12.263
- Are you two also in love?
- No, we're having an affair.

1073
01:02:12.365 --> 01:02:15.234
- Yeah. Just started.
- Close enough. Get in there!

1074
01:02:16.574 --> 01:02:19.142
Kimberly! Kimberly!

1075
01:02:19.244 --> 01:02:21.405
I'm running out of time
here, man. I need you
to activate that keygen.

1076
01:02:21.507 --> 01:02:23.543
<i>Yeah, I'm on it.</i>
- Okay, great. Now what?

1077
01:02:23.645 --> 01:02:25.679
<i>- Um, you know
how to use it right?</i>
- Of course I know how to use it.

1078
01:02:25.781 --> 01:02:27.879
Just give me a quick refresher.

1079
01:02:27.981 --> 01:02:30.451
So, uh, where did you grow up?

1080
01:02:30.553 --> 01:02:31.852
Let's not, Kimberly.

1081
01:02:31.954 --> 01:02:33.684
You and I both know
why we're here

1082
01:02:33.786 --> 01:02:37.893
and getting
our emotions involved
would just complicate things.

1083
01:02:37.995 --> 01:02:41.524
Uh, Kalvin, I don't wanna
give you the wrong idea.

1084
01:02:42.399 --> 01:02:43.563
So, don't.

1085
01:02:43.665 --> 01:02:45.935
Subscribe.

1086
01:02:46.037 --> 01:02:50.435
Uh, I really should go
make sure my friend is okay.

1087
01:02:50.537 --> 01:02:53.036
I really don't think
that's such a good idea
in your state.

1088
01:02:53.138 --> 01:02:54.537
What's happening?

1089
01:02:55.846 --> 01:02:57.815
Did you put something
in my drink?

1090
01:02:57.917 --> 01:03:01.581
Don't worry. I'm gonna take
really good care of you.

1091
01:03:08.488 --> 01:03:11.761
And that should only be used
in a worst-case scenario.

1092
01:03:11.864 --> 01:03:13.560
All I'm saying is you need to be
really careful.

1093
01:03:13.662 --> 01:03:16.062
<i>Okay, yeah, I get it.
If I die in VR,
I die in real life.</i>

1094
01:03:16.164 --> 01:03:18.000
What? No, that's not at all
how it works.

1095
01:03:18.102 --> 01:03:20.336
You need to be careful
because you committed a felony.

1096
01:03:20.438 --> 01:03:22.471
There's a million
private rooms here.
How am I supposed to find them?

1097
01:03:22.573 --> 01:03:25.507
Well, if it's Kalvin Kluck,
he's probably in the most
heavily secured room.

1098
01:03:25.609 --> 01:03:26.943
Um, sort by encryption.

1099
01:03:29.814 --> 01:03:33.244
Final chance. You bring
golden boy back,

1100
01:03:33.346 --> 01:03:37.013
- we forget this ever happen.
- Not happening.

1101
01:03:37.115 --> 01:03:40.220
Are you absolutely sure?

1102
01:03:43.756 --> 01:03:46.561
- Who the hell are you?
- I'm so sorry.
I'm in the wrong room.

1103
01:03:46.663 --> 01:03:48.464
Hey, kid. Grab that vial!

1104
01:03:48.566 --> 01:03:50.098
- Why?
- Just trust me!

1105
01:03:56.675 --> 01:03:59.704
- Stop shooting! Barry!
- Dad, no!

1106
01:04:07.683 --> 01:04:09.752
What have you done?

1107
01:04:09.888 --> 01:04:11.821
<i>Jesus, Roddy,
that's a Winners virus!</i>

1108
01:04:11.957 --> 01:04:13.719
<i>You need to get that thing
out of here now!</i>

1109
01:04:13.855 --> 01:04:15.820
<i>If that activates in the wild,
it could take out
the entire internet.</i>

1110
01:04:15.956 --> 01:04:18.726
<i>- Millions could die.</i>
- Shit! Okay, I need you
to activate my keygen arsenal.

1111
01:04:18.862 --> 01:04:21.327
<i>Yeah.</i>

1112
01:04:26.298 --> 01:04:28.402
I'm gonna
smash that like button.

1113
01:04:28.505 --> 01:04:31.268
- No!
- Sweetheart, you've got to
stop struggling so much.

1114
01:04:32.976 --> 01:04:34.643
It's making it really hard
for daddy.

1115
01:04:34.745 --> 01:04:36.914
No, please get off me!

1116
01:04:37.815 --> 01:04:39.246
- Help!
- What the hell was that?

1117
01:04:39.382 --> 01:04:41.218
<i>Moment of truth, man.
The reverse-algo is hot,</i>

1118
01:04:41.353 --> 01:04:43.583
<i>but if that
clutch doesn't touch
his avatar in seven seconds,</i>

1119
01:04:43.718 --> 01:04:46.387
<i>your Crypto Klepto
will be encoded
into the blockchain forever.</i>

1120
01:04:46.522 --> 01:04:49.823
- I'm not gonna make it.
<i>- What's it gonna be?
Time to decide.</i>

1121
01:04:49.925 --> 01:04:51.921
Help!

1122
01:04:54.096 --> 01:04:56.563
Consider yourself... unsubscribed.

1123
01:04:56.665 --> 01:04:58.364
Wait, my crypto!

1124
01:05:00.698 --> 01:05:02.970
Well, well, well,
if it isn't Roddy Danger here

1125
01:05:03.072 --> 01:05:04.868
to rescue
his little pet girlfriend.

1126
01:05:04.970 --> 01:05:07.970
Nobody crypto kleptos
Kalvin Kluck's clutch
and gets away with it.

1127
01:05:09.981 --> 01:05:12.311
Game over, Danger.
I'll see you in prison.

1128
01:05:12.413 --> 01:05:14.015
<i>Roddy,
you need to get out of there.</i>

1129
01:05:14.118 --> 01:05:15.752
Just one minute.
I gotta take care of something.

1130
01:05:15.854 --> 01:05:17.180
What are you
talking about, freak?

1131
01:05:17.282 --> 01:05:19.923
Rematch. You and me. Right now.

1132
01:05:20.025 --> 01:05:22.556
Oh, you want a rematch?
Like, you've got a chance.

1133
01:05:22.658 --> 01:05:25.988
If I win, we wipe the clutch
and you never speak
to Kimberly again.

1134
01:05:26.090 --> 01:05:28.131
And if I win?

1135
01:05:28.233 --> 01:05:31.528
- Then you can turn me in.
- Roddy, no! It's not worth it!

1136
01:05:31.630 --> 01:05:34.598
- Kimberly, I got this.
- You got yourself a deal.

1137
01:05:34.700 --> 01:05:37.002
Yo, Megs, you got access
to the club's screens, right?

1138
01:05:37.104 --> 01:05:38.336
<i>Sweet Joseph Gordon Levitt.</i>

1139
01:05:38.472 --> 01:05:40.276
<i>Do you know
what you're asking me to do?</i>

1140
01:05:40.412 --> 01:05:42.575
<i>That's VR inside VR.
It's like a dream
within a dream, man!</i>

1141
01:05:42.711 --> 01:05:45.548
<i>The club wasn't designed
with that kind of
processing power.</i>

1142
01:05:45.650 --> 01:05:47.017
Can you do it or not?

1143
01:05:47.152 --> 01:05:49.482
<i>I can do it. I'm just...
I'm not sure if I should.</i>

1144
01:05:49.584 --> 01:05:52.648
Come on, man.
We've come this far.
Are you with me or not?

1145
01:05:52.750 --> 01:05:55.487
<i>- I got you, brother.</i>
- All right, let's do this!

1146
01:05:58.063 --> 01:06:00.791
- Stay with me, Dad.
- There's a light up ahead.

1147
01:06:02.962 --> 01:06:04.564
It's flickering.

1148
01:06:04.667 --> 01:06:08.264
Yeah, that's probably
just the halogen light
on the patio. I'm sorry.

1149
01:06:08.366 --> 01:06:10.433
I should've just taken the deal.

1150
01:06:10.535 --> 01:06:12.138
I never meant
for this to happen.

1151
01:06:12.240 --> 01:06:13.840
I just wanted you to be
proud of me.

1152
01:06:13.942 --> 01:06:16.477
I am proud of you, son.

1153
01:06:16.579 --> 01:06:20.083
You did the right thing.
You stood up
for what you believed in.

1154
01:06:20.218 --> 01:06:24.180
You were always Chalamet...
in <i>Call Me by Your Name.</i>

1155
01:06:24.282 --> 01:06:26.650
His breakout roll.

1156
01:06:27.217 --> 01:06:29.188
Papa, don't go!

1157
01:06:29.290 --> 01:06:31.320
I'll always be
watching your feed.

1158
01:06:31.422 --> 01:06:33.195
See you tomorrow for dinner.

1159
01:06:35.366 --> 01:06:37.430
No!

1160
01:06:40.534 --> 01:06:42.771
<i>The Roddy Danger
and Kalvin Kluck rematch</i>

1161
01:06:42.873 --> 01:06:46.408
<i>is brought to you in part
by People for the Ethical
Treatment of Avatars.</i>

1162
01:06:46.510 --> 01:06:48.874
<i>PETA would like to remind you
that everything that happens</i>

1163
01:06:48.976 --> 01:06:52.449
<i>in the metaverse
has the same emotional
and physical consequences</i>

1164
01:06:52.584 --> 01:06:54.576
<i>as the real world.</i>

1165
01:06:54.678 --> 01:06:58.616
<i>Three, two, one. Fight!</i>

1166
01:07:10.531 --> 01:07:12.767
I'm gonna enjoy this a lot more
than I should.

1167
01:07:14.104 --> 01:07:16.766
Chatbot, you're
such a great dancer.

1168
01:07:17.974 --> 01:07:20.006
Even better than my husband.

1169
01:07:20.108 --> 01:07:21.441
Thank you for your feedback.

1170
01:07:21.543 --> 01:07:24.447
Please rate my service
in the online survey below.

1171
01:07:28.820 --> 01:07:30.685
Get your damn hands off my wife!

1172
01:07:30.787 --> 01:07:32.083
Ow! I've been hit!

1173
01:07:32.185 --> 01:07:33.685
Stop! You'll hurt him.

1174
01:07:33.787 --> 01:07:36.519
He can't feel anything.
He's not real.
You can't love him.

1175
01:07:36.621 --> 01:07:39.022
Tell him, Chat.
Tell him you love me.

1176
01:07:42.030 --> 01:07:43.965
I'm just here to help.

1177
01:07:44.067 --> 01:07:46.596
- Stay down, Danger.

1178
01:07:46.699 --> 01:07:50.569
I can make you feel loved,
cherished, adored.

1179
01:07:53.044 --> 01:07:55.478
I can make you feel seen
and understood.

1180
01:07:56.875 --> 01:08:01.179
But sadly, I myself
do not have a sense of honor.

1181
01:08:01.281 --> 01:08:04.352
Nor do I feel love or jealousy.

1182
01:08:06.686 --> 01:08:09.025
- I can't feel a cool New England

1183
01:08:09.127 --> 01:08:10.853
autumn breeze
on the back of my neck...

1184
01:08:12.990 --> 01:08:16.166
nor taste the subtleties
of a perfectly aged Chianti...

1185
01:08:18.468 --> 01:08:21.263
...or feel the hot shame
of a premature ejaculation.

1186
01:08:21.365 --> 01:08:26.001
It's gonna take a lot more
than that to kill me,
Roddy Danger.

1187
01:08:26.103 --> 01:08:29.341
Okay, enough.
This ends right now.
You and me, buddy.

1188
01:08:29.443 --> 01:08:32.147
Taste his blood.

1189
01:08:32.250 --> 01:08:34.611
You can hit me
if it will make you feel better,

1190
01:08:34.713 --> 01:08:37.112
but I'm not really the problem,
am I, Barry?

1191
01:08:44.427 --> 01:08:47.530
Look at your wife, Barry.
Do you really see her?

1192
01:08:47.632 --> 01:08:49.096
Yes, I see her.

1193
01:08:49.198 --> 01:08:51.701
- Then, tell her...
- Tell her what?

1194
01:08:51.803 --> 01:08:54.663
Tell her how you feel.

1195
01:08:54.765 --> 01:08:58.107
Angela, I know
the bases were loaded

1196
01:08:58.210 --> 01:09:00.370
and I wasn't in the dugout
when you needed...

1197
01:09:00.472 --> 01:09:03.706
- In English?
- Okay. Angela...

1198
01:09:03.808 --> 01:09:06.978
I know I don't always
communicate it well,

1199
01:09:07.080 --> 01:09:09.852
but I love you,

1200
01:09:09.954 --> 01:09:11.620
and I don't wanna lose you.

1201
01:09:11.722 --> 01:09:15.686
You had my back all along,
but I... I was the one
that shut you out.

1202
01:09:15.788 --> 01:09:20.261
I never bothered to...
I never learned to listen.

1203
01:09:20.363 --> 01:09:24.067
But I wanna give this
a real shot. I do.

1204
01:09:24.169 --> 01:09:25.932
I... I don't know
if we're gonna make it,

1205
01:09:26.034 --> 01:09:28.532
but I want to try.

1206
01:09:28.634 --> 01:09:31.371
Barry, there's no crying
in baseball.

1207
01:09:31.473 --> 01:09:33.870
- Do you really mean it?
- Yeah, I really do.

1208
01:09:33.972 --> 01:09:36.709
Well, then let's give it
a three-point slam dunk shot.

1209
01:09:36.811 --> 01:09:38.979
Yeah, that's not a thing.
You know what, we'll work on it.

1210
01:09:39.081 --> 01:09:40.547
What do we have here?

1211
01:09:40.649 --> 01:09:43.218
- Wait, Kalvin, no.
Don't drink that.
- Why not?

1212
01:09:43.320 --> 01:09:45.388
You plan doing
a little juicing, Danger?

1213
01:09:45.490 --> 01:09:48.183
I never took you for a cheater.
Lemme help you out with that.

1214
01:09:48.285 --> 01:09:51.256
<i>Roddy,
you need to stop him.</i>

1215
01:09:51.358 --> 01:09:54.155
<i>That's a Winners virus.
If he wins, the virus spreads
to everyone watching.</i>

1216
01:09:54.257 --> 01:09:56.725
<i>With that ruptured lockbox,
it could fry the whole damn</i>

1217
01:09:56.827 --> 01:09:59.432
<i>global transport
control protocol.</i>

1218
01:09:59.568 --> 01:10:01.598
<i>Subscribe, big guy!</i>

1219
01:10:01.700 --> 01:10:04.708
I can't let you win.
It'll kill us all.

1220
01:10:05.836 --> 01:10:07.804
Barry, what the hell
happened in there?

1221
01:10:07.906 --> 01:10:10.546
You beg me to come
and then you torpedo my deal?

1222
01:10:10.648 --> 01:10:13.145
Listen to me,
those guys were using you
to spread a V-Virus.

1223
01:10:13.247 --> 01:10:17.586
I don't believe you, man!
First you lied about my date
being here and now this.

1224
01:10:17.688 --> 01:10:20.520
I finally have a chance
to play ball again
and you ruined it!

1225
01:10:20.622 --> 01:10:23.260
You don't get it, it's over.
There was a fight.

1226
01:10:23.362 --> 01:10:27.163
They pulled out guns,
they shot my dad. He's gone.

1227
01:10:27.265 --> 01:10:28.990
- Is he okay?
- Is he... No, he's not okay.

1228
01:10:29.092 --> 01:10:32.900
Right. If you die in VR,
you die in the real world.

1229
01:10:33.002 --> 01:10:36.832
What? No. It just he has to
restart his whole computer,
it's a pain.

1230
01:10:36.935 --> 01:10:39.270
I almost made
the biggest mistake of my life,

1231
01:10:39.372 --> 01:10:42.142
but you saved me, Barry.

1232
01:10:42.244 --> 01:10:44.543
Yes, that's what agents do.

1233
01:10:44.645 --> 01:10:46.446
We're the good guys,
everybody knows that.

1234
01:10:46.548 --> 01:10:49.119
I'm gonna get you
the best deal out there.

1235
01:10:49.221 --> 01:10:52.014
I'm with you, man.
You looked out for me.

1236
01:10:52.550 --> 01:10:54.483
I'm with you to the end.

1237
01:10:54.585 --> 01:10:56.793
Now kiss him, you idiot.

1238
01:11:04.331 --> 01:11:06.132
Hey, I'm really sorry.

1239
01:11:06.234 --> 01:11:07.698
Can we talk about this?

1240
01:11:07.800 --> 01:11:09.598
Sure, what lies
are you gonna feed me now?

1241
01:11:09.700 --> 01:11:12.439
I wasn't trying to lie to you.

1242
01:11:12.541 --> 01:11:16.512
I just... I just wanted
to be seen for me.

1243
01:11:16.614 --> 01:11:19.275
You don't know how difficult
it is not knowing who to trust.

1244
01:11:19.377 --> 01:11:22.814
Thinking everyone
wants to be with you
just because you're famous.

1245
01:11:24.120 --> 01:11:25.751
You're just ordinary.

1246
01:11:26.450 --> 01:11:27.783
Must be nice.

1247
01:11:27.885 --> 01:11:30.085
Maybe we're not so different
after all.

1248
01:11:37.863 --> 01:11:40.062
Come on,
this place is coming down!

1249
01:11:41.037 --> 01:11:42.734
What in the hell?

1250
01:11:42.836 --> 01:11:45.768
Are you Clarissa Daniels?
And you sandbagged me?

1251
01:11:45.870 --> 01:11:48.037
Oh, Lord! Somebody
please come get this

1252
01:11:48.139 --> 01:11:50.413
gorgeous, white supremacist
bitch out of my face.

1253
01:11:50.515 --> 01:11:54.546
- It was a mud mask!
- Oh, Clarissa explains it all!

1254
01:11:54.648 --> 01:11:56.952
Hypocrite.

1255
01:11:57.054 --> 01:11:58.883
- I am...

1256
01:12:27.546 --> 01:12:29.650
End of the line, Danger.

1257
01:12:33.220 --> 01:12:34.853
Any last words?

1258
01:12:35.220 --> 01:12:36.421
Yep.

1259
01:12:36.523 --> 01:12:39.792
Megladon, activate tugboat mode!

1260
01:12:43.234 --> 01:12:46.934
No! Tugboats...
My only weakness!

1261
01:12:55.144 --> 01:12:57.414
Come on... Not now.

1262
01:13:01.446 --> 01:13:03.985
Oh, my God! No!

1263
01:13:04.087 --> 01:13:06.555
Please. La Monte!

1264
01:13:07.056 --> 01:13:08.458
Somebody help!

1265
01:13:09.620 --> 01:13:12.528
Help. Oh.

1266
01:13:17.562 --> 01:13:19.936
Oh, you're alive!

1267
01:13:20.038 --> 01:13:21.702
I saw the other side.

1268
01:13:23.140 --> 01:13:24.672
This was all my fault.

1269
01:13:25.675 --> 01:13:29.378
I was the one
that got the NBA sick.

1270
01:13:29.481 --> 01:13:33.242
I was the one
that killed Viv's grandmother.

1271
01:13:33.344 --> 01:13:36.118
I was the one that ate
the bat soup
on my trip to China.

1272
01:13:36.220 --> 01:13:38.386
Hey, everybody, Clarissa Daniels

1273
01:13:38.488 --> 01:13:40.388
just saved
La Monte Mar Jones' life!

1274
01:13:40.490 --> 01:13:42.651
Maybe she's not
a racist after all.

1275
01:13:42.753 --> 01:13:45.592
You saved my life? Why?

1276
01:13:45.694 --> 01:13:47.893
What do you mean
why did I save your life?

1277
01:13:48.560 --> 01:13:50.429
All lives matter.

1278
01:13:50.531 --> 01:13:51.563
- Nevermind!

1279
01:13:51.665 --> 01:13:54.801
What? Are you kidding me
right now?

1280
01:13:55.567 --> 01:13:57.540
I just can't win.

1281
01:13:58.675 --> 01:14:01.176
Kimberly, I wish I can
get this thing to work

1282
01:14:01.278 --> 01:14:03.040
so you could hear me right now.

1283
01:14:04.415 --> 01:14:06.175
But if you're
out there somewhere...

1284
01:14:07.682 --> 01:14:09.143
I want you to know
that after tonight,

1285
01:14:09.246 --> 01:14:11.950
I'm willing to sacrifice
anything to be with you.

1286
01:14:13.790 --> 01:14:16.854
I just want one chance
to tell you I'm sorry.

1287
01:14:16.956 --> 01:14:19.960
I've screwed it up so much,
I'm so stupid.

1288
01:14:21.025 --> 01:14:24.566
You needed a man
and I was not a man.

1289
01:14:24.668 --> 01:14:27.829
But I swear to God
if you give me one more chance,

1290
01:14:27.931 --> 01:14:29.672
I will spend the rest of my life

1291
01:14:29.774 --> 01:14:32.641
proving you that I can be
the person you want me to be.

1292
01:14:33.809 --> 01:14:35.974
'Cause you're the only person
I wanna be with.

1293
01:14:41.614 --> 01:14:42.882
Oh, shit, was that...

1294
01:14:43.415 --> 01:14:44.719
Sorry.

1295
01:14:49.088 --> 01:14:51.493
- I heard what you said.
- Wait, how? I couldn't get

1296
01:14:51.595 --> 01:14:53.858
- the volume to turn on.
- Roddy, I live here.

1297
01:14:53.960 --> 01:14:56.126
So, yeah, I...
Yeah, I heard everything.

1298
01:14:56.228 --> 01:14:58.801
Wait, everything? Like,
you heard the part about...

1299
01:14:58.904 --> 01:15:00.535
Uh, yeah.

1300
01:15:00.637 --> 01:15:03.232
- Uh, by the way,
who is Megatron?
- Megladon.

1301
01:15:03.334 --> 01:15:05.199
- It doesn't matter.
All that matters...
- Huh?

1302
01:15:05.302 --> 01:15:07.874
...is that I love you
and I can't lose you.

1303
01:15:09.447 --> 01:15:12.580
Roddy, how am I supposed
to trust you?

1304
01:15:12.682 --> 01:15:15.013
You left me
when I needed you the most.

1305
01:15:21.588 --> 01:15:23.151
Wait, what are you doing?

1306
01:15:23.254 --> 01:15:25.787
Something that I should've done
a long time ago.

1307
01:15:25.889 --> 01:15:28.195
Kimberly Annabelle Martin,

1308
01:15:28.297 --> 01:15:30.232
will you marry me?

1309
01:15:30.334 --> 01:15:32.998
If you wanted me to marry you
so badly, why didn't you just
come in the other room?

1310
01:15:33.100 --> 01:15:37.604
Uh, no. I'm, like, a weird,
coward and I just, like,

1311
01:15:37.706 --> 01:15:39.775
hide behind my screen
all the time.

1312
01:15:39.877 --> 01:15:42.545
And I'm afraid of confrontation.
Honestly, I don't even think

1313
01:15:42.647 --> 01:15:44.712
I know how to deal with life
in the real world.

1314
01:15:44.814 --> 01:15:47.777
But I finally realized that
life doesn't happen

1315
01:15:47.879 --> 01:15:49.817
at a Zoom comic book convention,

1316
01:15:49.919 --> 01:15:53.115
or even in a virtual reality
first-player shooter game.

1317
01:15:53.217 --> 01:15:55.524
Life happens right here
right now, right?

1318
01:15:55.626 --> 01:15:57.788
And what is the real world?
I don't know.

1319
01:15:57.890 --> 01:15:59.322
I just know that
this is the moment

1320
01:15:59.424 --> 01:16:02.995
that life happens and I want
my life to happen with you.

1321
01:16:12.543 --> 01:16:15.106
You had me
at "activate tugboat mode."

1322
01:16:16.648 --> 01:16:19.242
Wait, so does that mean...
Does that mean...

1323
01:16:20.683 --> 01:16:23.417
Yeah. Yes.
Yes, yes, yes.

1324
01:16:23.519 --> 01:16:25.182
- I'll put it on now?
- Yes.

1325
01:16:27.186 --> 01:16:29.885
-  Oh, my God.
- It looks so good on you.

1326
01:16:29.988 --> 01:16:31.353
- You look so beautiful.

1327
01:16:31.488 --> 01:16:34.389
<i>Now kiss her, you idiot.</i>
<i>Kiss her already.</i>

1328
01:16:45.635 --> 01:16:48.439
Wait. Holy... I just realized
I didn't actually beat Kalvin.

1329
01:16:48.541 --> 01:16:51.877
The game just started blowing up
and I think
the virus is spreading.

1330
01:16:51.979 --> 01:16:53.576
- What? Oh, my God!
- We should probably...

1331
01:16:53.678 --> 01:16:55.047
Yeah, holy shit!

1332
01:16:58.148 --> 01:17:00.155
Oh, this is bad.
This is very bad.

1333
01:17:00.257 --> 01:17:01.422
- What?

1334
01:17:01.524 --> 01:17:04.921
What? I... I can't believe it.

1335
01:17:05.023 --> 01:17:07.763
It's gone.
It's... It's all gone.

1336
01:17:07.865 --> 01:17:10.461
It turns out that true love
was the cure all along.

1337
01:17:10.563 --> 01:17:11.560
- Aw.
- Really?

1338
01:17:11.696 --> 01:17:13.265
<i>No, idiot.</i>

1339
01:17:13.367 --> 01:17:16.334
But frying the entire
host system
apparently also kills it.

1340
01:17:16.436 --> 01:17:17.638
Okay.

1341
01:17:17.740 --> 01:17:19.808
<i>Hey, kid,
put on your headset.</i>

1342
01:17:29.183 --> 01:17:31.752
Hey, I saw what you did
back there and I never do this,

1343
01:17:31.855 --> 01:17:34.251
but how would you feel
about representation?

1344
01:17:34.353 --> 01:17:37.985
Represent... Yeah. Yeah,
I'm all for representation.

1345
01:17:38.087 --> 01:17:39.354
It's a new world out here.

1346
01:17:39.456 --> 01:17:40.992
You know I didn't
actually win though, right?

1347
01:17:41.094 --> 01:17:42.457
Like, the game blew up
before I could...

1348
01:17:42.559 --> 01:17:45.531
You've got heart, kid,
and that beats winning any day.

1349
01:17:45.633 --> 01:17:47.300
- Really?
- No, not really.

1350
01:17:47.402 --> 01:17:50.236
- But I'm offering you a deal,
so just take it.
- You know, what? Uh...

1351
01:17:50.338 --> 01:17:53.204
I appreciate the offer,
but I think I need
to spend some time

1352
01:17:53.306 --> 01:17:56.372
in the real world,
with the people
that matter most.

1353
01:17:56.940 --> 01:17:58.141
He'll take the deal.

1354
01:17:58.243 --> 01:18:00.511
Get your hands off me!
Get... Get... Argh!

1355
01:18:00.646 --> 01:18:03.552
- What happened to him?
<i>I caught
what Kluck tried to do</i>

1356
01:18:03.688 --> 01:18:05.018
<i>with your girl
on the security footage</i>

1357
01:18:05.153 --> 01:18:06.588
<i>and routed it to the central
security algorithm.</i>

1358
01:18:06.690 --> 01:18:08.153
<i>He's goin'
on a little vacation.</i>

1359
01:18:08.289 --> 01:18:10.655
<i>Three to five, for aggravated
virtual sexual assault.</i>

1360
01:18:10.757 --> 01:18:12.623
This isn't over, Danger.

1361
01:18:12.725 --> 01:18:14.362
I'm coming for you!

1362
01:18:14.464 --> 01:18:16.632
Ah, shut the Kluck up!

1363
01:18:16.734 --> 01:18:18.260
I don't know
how to repay you, Megladon.

1364
01:18:18.363 --> 01:18:21.065
Wait, what about
the Kitcoin and the blockchain?

1365
01:18:21.200 --> 01:18:22.972
<i>- Don't worry about it.</i>
- What do you mean?

1366
01:18:23.074 --> 01:18:25.537
Kalvin got his clutch back,
but it was
after the hashing cycle.

1367
01:18:25.639 --> 01:18:29.306
All he has to do is report it
and they can contact trace it
back to me.

1368
01:18:29.408 --> 01:18:31.914
I'm telling you, all right?
Just... Just trust me.

1369
01:18:32.016 --> 01:18:34.482
Don't worry about the money.
It will never get back to you.

1370
01:18:34.584 --> 01:18:37.017
<i>Megladon, what did you do?</i>

1371
01:18:38.381 --> 01:18:41.186
The less you know
the better.

1372
01:19:03.040 --> 01:19:04.339
My club. Look at it.

1373
01:19:04.442 --> 01:19:07.510
I'm never gonna
financially recover from this.

1374
01:19:07.612 --> 01:19:11.653
Do you have any idea
how much business
this place does?

1375
01:19:11.755 --> 01:19:13.452
I'm gonna have to do
a hard reboot.

1376
01:19:13.554 --> 01:19:18.086
I could be offline
for two and a half hours
on a Friday night no less.

1377
01:19:18.188 --> 01:19:20.395
This is gonna cost me millions.

1378
01:19:20.497 --> 01:19:22.392
Who's gonna pay for this?

1379
01:19:24.697 --> 01:19:27.995
<i>I think
you might have one last spin
on that keygen.</i>

1380
01:19:28.131 --> 01:19:29.465
<i>You know what to do.</i>

1381
01:20:09.012 --> 01:20:11.408
Oh, I think there's only
one thing left to do.

1382
01:20:16.012 --> 01:20:17.584
Let's dance!

1383
01:20:21.619 --> 01:20:24.957
<i>And so, peace
was restored to the metaverse.</i>

1384
01:20:25.059 --> 01:20:26.420
<i>I won back the girl
of my dreams</i>

1385
01:20:26.522 --> 01:20:28.495
<i>and broke my losing streak,
kind of.</i>

1386
01:20:28.630 --> 01:20:32.063
<i>I think things happened
to the other characters, too.
It was great.</i>

1387
01:20:32.199 --> 01:20:35.370
<i>Yeah,
life moves pretty fast.</i>

1388
01:20:35.506 --> 01:20:38.974
<i>If you don't take your
headset off and look around
once in a while...</i>

1389
01:20:39.707 --> 01:20:41.106
<i>you'd miss it.</i>

1390
01:20:41.241 --> 01:20:43.412
<i>♪ 'Cause you're gonna be
Runnin' away</i>

1391
01:20:43.547 --> 01:20:45.480
<i>♪ Inside the space</i>

1392
01:20:45.615 --> 01:20:47.208
<i>♪ I'm on right away</i>

1393
01:20:47.344 --> 01:20:50.049
<i>♪ Hey, I love you virtually</i>

1394
01:20:50.184 --> 01:20:53.247
<i>♪ Night and day
And I was here to play</i>

1395
01:20:53.383 --> 01:20:55.317
<i>♪ I don't care what it takes</i>

1396
01:20:55.419 --> 01:20:58.620
<i>♪ Love, I love you virtually ♪</i>

1397
01:21:06.663 --> 01:21:09.431
Breaking news. In a stunning
reversal of fortune,

1398
01:21:09.533 --> 01:21:12.035
recently disgraced gamer,
Roddy Danger,

1399
01:21:12.137 --> 01:21:13.770
has apparently saved the world.

1400
01:21:13.872 --> 01:21:18.110
And won back the heart
of his non-gamer girlfriend,
Kimberly Martin.

1401
01:21:18.213 --> 01:21:21.411
Meanwhile, cyber cult leader,
Kalvin Kluck,

1402
01:21:21.513 --> 01:21:24.414
has been arrested for operating
a pyramid scheme.

1403
01:21:24.516 --> 01:21:26.955
And is being investigated
for cyber terrorism,

1404
01:21:27.057 --> 01:21:29.583
for his attempted release
of the Winners virus.

1405
01:21:29.686 --> 01:21:32.687
I'll get you, Roddy.
I'll get you!

1406
01:21:32.789 --> 01:21:36.824
And on a personal note,
I never fucking liked that guy.

1407
01:21:36.926 --> 01:21:40.198
Uh, I need five minutes.
I'm just wasting
everyone's time now.

1408
01:21:43.838 --> 01:21:45.370
Good show, everybody.

1409
01:21:48.543 --> 01:21:52.448
I honestly just don't know
how I'm ever gonna
trust him again.

1410
01:21:52.550 --> 01:21:53.775
And I feel the same way.

1411
01:21:53.877 --> 01:21:57.217
After the trust his gone,
what are we supposed to do next?

1412
01:21:58.621 --> 01:22:00.220
That being said...

1413
01:22:00.322 --> 01:22:02.552
I have to admit the whole thing
was kind of exciting.

1414
01:22:03.594 --> 01:22:05.655
All the sneaking around...

1415
01:22:05.757 --> 01:22:09.227
kind of reminded me
of back when you were
my professor.

1416
01:22:09.329 --> 01:22:12.430
- She was my student.
- That's implied, Devine.

1417
01:22:13.231 --> 01:22:15.266
Uh, she was a very bad student.

1418
01:22:15.369 --> 01:22:17.634
Uh, she had a safe word
"chicken in the pot."

1419
01:22:17.736 --> 01:22:20.174
It was "jerk chicken," honey.
We've moved on from that.

1420
01:22:20.276 --> 01:22:22.872
Oh. We've moved on from that.
We've changed that now.

1421
01:22:22.974 --> 01:22:24.809
<i>Hmm.</i>

1422
01:22:24.911 --> 01:22:27.480
<i>Well, you know, the secret
to a good relationship
is communication</i>

1423
01:22:27.615 --> 01:22:30.986
<i>and the ability
to fully express yourself
with integrity.</i>

1424
01:22:31.088 --> 01:22:33.288
<i>I'm glad you are finding
new ways to connect.</i>

1425
01:22:33.424 --> 01:22:37.059
<i>Speaking of which,
have you ever heard
of a French tugboat?</i>

1426
01:22:39.590 --> 01:22:41.628
Uh, isn't that
the ultimate gaming weapon?

1427
01:22:41.730 --> 01:22:44.395
- That... I think it was
the ultimate gaming weapon.
- I just said that.

1428
01:22:44.497 --> 01:22:47.729
<i>What? No. It's a threesome...
with an AI.</i>