1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:14,751 --> 00:00:18,888 Love, the most powerful force in the universe. 4 00:00:18,990 --> 00:00:21,254 Or so some say. 5 00:00:21,356 --> 00:00:25,999 At the dawn of mankind, the selection of a mate was a matter of survival. 6 00:00:26,135 --> 00:00:28,000 Eventually, people began to choose partners 7 00:00:28,102 --> 00:00:30,064 out of loyalty to family or tribe. 8 00:00:30,199 --> 00:00:33,173 The industrial revolution gave us the telegraph and the telephone, 9 00:00:33,309 --> 00:00:35,469 the 90's the internet, and today, with the metaverse 10 00:00:35,605 --> 00:00:37,342 nearly indistinguishable from real life, 11 00:00:37,478 --> 00:00:42,347 most of us prefer to live, laugh, and love virtually. 12 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,717 Who am I? 13 00:00:44,852 --> 00:00:46,384 My name is Roddy Danger. 14 00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,751 And this is where it all began. 15 00:00:53,627 --> 00:00:56,424 I was working part time stocking shelves to pay the bills, 16 00:00:56,526 --> 00:00:58,228 maybe even earn a few extra credits 17 00:00:58,330 --> 00:00:59,793 for a power-up or some new skins. 18 00:00:59,928 --> 00:01:02,467 I mean, I always believed I was destined for more, 19 00:01:02,569 --> 00:01:05,403 but I didn't have the confidence to go after it... 20 00:01:05,905 --> 00:01:07,570 until I met her. 21 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:28,629 Kimberly and I have been together ever since. 22 00:01:28,764 --> 00:01:32,994 We've explored every inch of the metaverse together. She's been my rock. 23 00:01:33,129 --> 00:01:35,562 She was the one who encouraged me to pursue gaming full-time. 24 00:01:35,698 --> 00:01:37,604 Here. I want you to have this. 25 00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,971 And as we grew together, so did my spot on the leaderboard. 26 00:01:40,073 --> 00:01:41,472 I was on top of the world... 27 00:01:41,607 --> 00:01:43,710 I'm so proud of you. I knew you could it. 28 00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:46,406 ...until I wasn't. 29 00:01:46,508 --> 00:01:47,874 It was a crippling defeat. 30 00:01:48,009 --> 00:01:51,218 Hey, did you maybe wanna get up today? 31 00:01:51,354 --> 00:01:53,781 For a while, I just felt like I couldn't win. 32 00:01:53,916 --> 00:01:56,988 When I fell apart, my relationship took the hit. 33 00:01:57,090 --> 00:02:01,094 No, it's fine. Uh, we don't have to celebrate my birthday this year. 34 00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:03,056 This is the second time this is happening. 35 00:02:03,158 --> 00:02:05,958 I'm going to stay at my mom's virtual cabin in New Hampshire. 36 00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:08,668 I don't blame her for giving me an ultimatum. 37 00:02:08,770 --> 00:02:11,101 Okay. But this is your last chance, Roddy. I mean it. 38 00:02:11,237 --> 00:02:15,836 I'm lucky she gave me another chance and this time, I had to get it right. 39 00:03:27,914 --> 00:03:29,382 Seriously? 40 00:04:05,251 --> 00:04:06,984 What is it, Shifrin? 41 00:04:07,086 --> 00:04:09,048 Sir. Sir. 42 00:04:10,825 --> 00:04:12,491 I... Ugh. 43 00:04:29,041 --> 00:04:31,938 - Thousand apologies for the interruption. 44 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,942 It seems very urgent. You have a fight request. 45 00:04:42,419 --> 00:04:44,787 Well, who might you be? 46 00:04:50,293 --> 00:04:51,761 Subscribe. 47 00:04:53,098 --> 00:04:54,434 I accept. 48 00:05:06,479 --> 00:05:08,914 Kluck versus Danger. 49 00:05:09,049 --> 00:05:12,179 Three, two, one. 50 00:05:12,314 --> 00:05:13,816 Fight. 51 00:05:36,108 --> 00:05:37,576 Goodbye, Roddy. 52 00:06:05,037 --> 00:06:08,100 An angry mob of mostly peaceful protestors 53 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,202 stormed Los Angeles city hall last night, 54 00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:13,776 killing two and causing millions in property damage, 55 00:06:13,878 --> 00:06:16,911 in the third night of dangerous civil unrest. 56 00:06:17,013 --> 00:06:20,980 Infections are spiking, fatalities are on the rise 57 00:06:21,083 --> 00:06:24,557 and country-wide morale is at an all-time low. 58 00:06:24,659 --> 00:06:27,122 In more pressing news, last night brought yet another 59 00:06:27,225 --> 00:06:32,065 unsurprising victory for video game fan-favorite, Kalvin Kluck. 60 00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:34,497 Whoo, Kalvin! Oh, he's the best! 61 00:06:34,599 --> 00:06:38,638 We're lucky enough to get him for an exclusive interview right here tonight on the show. 62 00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:40,537 - Kalvin, welcome. - What's up? Thanks for having me. 63 00:06:40,639 --> 00:06:42,234 - Subscribe. - We have subscribed. 64 00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:44,503 Oh, we subscribed so hard. You were great last night. 65 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:48,975 Congratulations on your victory over relative new-comer, Roddy Danger. 66 00:06:49,077 --> 00:06:51,014 People are saying that the relationship 67 00:06:51,116 --> 00:06:55,152 between Danger and his long-time girlfriend, Kimberly Martin, 68 00:06:55,254 --> 00:06:58,324 - is on the rocks. You gonna pounce on that? - Most def. 69 00:06:58,426 --> 00:07:00,093 Now tell me this. Once you've hit it, 70 00:07:00,196 --> 00:07:01,926 will you or will you not quit it? 71 00:07:02,028 --> 00:07:04,457 - Oh, probably. - You're a gentleman and a scholar, my buddy. 72 00:07:04,559 --> 00:07:07,526 Oh! Very exciting stuff, Kalvin. Thanks for joining us on the show. 73 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:10,165 I would like to take a moment to thank our sponsors for this stream. 74 00:07:10,267 --> 00:07:14,072 Payless Shoe Source and the new Brunswick chapter of Antifa. 75 00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:16,706 Coming up next, we'll spill the tea 76 00:07:16,841 --> 00:07:19,171 on why this star of Beverly Hills Bitches 77 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:23,242 and this NBA hopeful are both being canceled. 78 00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:26,613 The answer might surprise you, but it probably... 79 00:07:26,748 --> 00:07:27,950 More after the break. 80 00:07:40,563 --> 00:07:42,503 Kimberly? 81 00:07:43,532 --> 00:07:44,868 Are you in here? 82 00:07:45,704 --> 00:07:47,571 I was just about to clean up actually. 83 00:07:47,673 --> 00:07:49,268 I was planning on it this morning. 84 00:08:02,654 --> 00:08:04,390 What do you want, Roddy? I'm in... 85 00:08:04,492 --> 00:08:07,088 I'm not good right now. I need her back. 86 00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:09,692 Well, maybe, you shouldn't have acted like such a child. 87 00:08:09,794 --> 00:08:11,662 Okay. Well, at least I'm not a racist. 88 00:08:11,765 --> 00:08:13,695 You're a prick, and I'm going back to therapy. 89 00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,262 - Wait, wait, wait. - What, Roddy? 90 00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:18,402 Can you just, like, ask your therapist what I should do? 91 00:08:18,504 --> 00:08:19,834 Like, a professional opinion? 92 00:08:19,936 --> 00:08:22,742 That's not what therapists do. Goodbye. 93 00:08:22,844 --> 00:08:25,708 No, they're professional opinion givers. They give... 94 00:08:25,810 --> 00:08:29,583 They give opinions... professionally. 95 00:08:33,652 --> 00:08:36,919 Clarissa, is everything all right? 96 00:08:37,021 --> 00:08:39,088 Sorry, that was my cousin, Kimberly's boyfriend. 97 00:08:39,190 --> 00:08:42,362 Or I guess ex-boyfriend. I don't know. He's such an idiot. 98 00:08:42,464 --> 00:08:44,495 She thought he was gonna propose... 99 00:08:44,597 --> 00:08:48,562 Yeah, listen, uh, Clarissa, why don't we get back to talking about you for a second, okay? 100 00:08:48,664 --> 00:08:52,469 Tell me. Why do you think you're such a shallow, worthless human being? 101 00:08:52,571 --> 00:08:54,135 Is that what you think of me? 102 00:08:54,237 --> 00:08:56,874 Is that, like, your professional opinion, "Doctor"? 103 00:08:56,976 --> 00:08:59,175 Oh, forgive me, sweetheart. I was just mirroring back 104 00:08:59,311 --> 00:09:01,340 what you said to me before you picked up what seemed to be 105 00:09:01,442 --> 00:09:04,311 a wholly unimportant FaceTime call during a session. 106 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:07,814 Right, right, right. Okay. So, everyone hates me right now. 107 00:09:07,916 --> 00:09:10,121 Like, they fired me from BHB. 108 00:09:10,256 --> 00:09:11,686 I'm sorry. BHB? 109 00:09:11,788 --> 00:09:13,826 My show, Beverly Hills Bitches. 110 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,326 Airing Sundays at 9:00 p.m., only on TruTv. 111 00:09:16,428 --> 00:09:19,392 Oh, honey, sweetheart. No, you don't have to plug it, I'm not gonna watch. 112 00:09:19,494 --> 00:09:22,662 Well, basically, everyone's, like, really mad or whatever 113 00:09:22,764 --> 00:09:27,533 because I didn't post a black square on Instagram on #BlackoutTuesday. 114 00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,902 It was, like, right after George Foreman was murdered 115 00:09:30,038 --> 00:09:34,413 and everyone was, like, pretending to care about police brutality or whatever. 116 00:09:34,515 --> 00:09:36,450 Yeah, I'm curious, why didn't you? 117 00:09:36,552 --> 00:09:38,684 I thought everyone was supposed to post it. 118 00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:41,880 - I don't know! I was busy and I forgot! - I see. 119 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:45,351 So, now you feel like a... 120 00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,724 Go ahead. You can say it. 121 00:09:48,826 --> 00:09:51,131 A worthless, shallow human being. 122 00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:53,027 Good girl. There you go. 123 00:09:53,129 --> 00:09:55,530 Okay. So, this is why you were canceled? 124 00:09:55,632 --> 00:10:00,834 Well, no. No, I got canceled because of the photo that I posted instead. 125 00:10:03,378 --> 00:10:05,176 - Dear Lord! 126 00:10:05,278 --> 00:10:06,605 Is it that bad? 127 00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:09,115 Why would you post something like that on BlackoutTuesday? 128 00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:13,146 My account was on auto-post. It was a paid ad from a sponsor for a mud mask. 129 00:10:13,248 --> 00:10:14,914 Well, then why would you caption it "BLDM"? 130 00:10:15,016 --> 00:10:17,919 It's #BleuDemure! It's French! 131 00:10:18,021 --> 00:10:19,490 Honestly, I thought it was gonna be 132 00:10:19,592 --> 00:10:21,392 like the #PrayforParis thing. 133 00:10:21,494 --> 00:10:24,894 You know, I didn't know everyone was gonna be, like, oh, we're all doing this. 134 00:10:24,997 --> 00:10:27,095 I need prayers. And where is everyone for me? 135 00:10:27,197 --> 00:10:29,529 You know, all prayers matter. That's how I feel. 136 00:10:29,631 --> 00:10:32,065 - And I feel like... I so wish you could hear 137 00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:33,506 what this girl is saying right now. 138 00:10:33,608 --> 00:10:36,335 I just have no tolerance for racism. 139 00:10:36,437 --> 00:10:39,009 Where are you right now? At a rally? 140 00:10:39,144 --> 00:10:43,149 No, I'm with a patient. But... yeah, yeah. 141 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:46,316 And you know what? We just pulled down a statue of Mister Rogers. 142 00:10:46,451 --> 00:10:49,514 That is so hot that you're involved in social justice. 143 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:54,553 My wife wouldn't be caught dead at a rally. 144 00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:57,090 He's obsessed. It's like there's a wall up between us. 145 00:10:57,192 --> 00:10:58,595 - He doesn't see me. - It's my job! 146 00:10:58,731 --> 00:11:00,463 - Yeah. - I have to be obsessed. 147 00:11:00,565 --> 00:11:02,803 - It's like you're last at bat and the bases are loaded... - If I can... 148 00:11:02,905 --> 00:11:04,863 ...and all of the sudden, boom, you're in the penalty box. 149 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,507 - You have no idea what he is talking about. - Do I have to spell it out? 150 00:11:07,609 --> 00:11:09,001 - Everything is canceled. - Yeah, but... 151 00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:11,439 - NBA, NFL, NWO... - WNBA? 152 00:11:11,541 --> 00:11:14,442 - Next thing you know, they're gonna cancel the NAACP. - NAACP? 153 00:11:14,544 --> 00:11:16,915 - I don't understand anything he's talking about! 154 00:11:17,017 --> 00:11:18,949 - He won't look at me, he won't touch me. - Right. 155 00:11:19,051 --> 00:11:21,283 - He won't kiss me. - I won't kiss her, she says. 156 00:11:21,385 --> 00:11:23,721 Wearing that thing on her face, which will not take off... 157 00:11:23,823 --> 00:11:26,219 I want to tolerate, but... time out. 158 00:11:26,321 --> 00:11:28,224 We've been quarantining together for months. 159 00:11:28,326 --> 00:11:31,356 - I'm not gonna get you sick! - It's not that, I just can't. 160 00:11:31,459 --> 00:11:33,996 - What's behind the mask, Angela? - I'm hideous. 161 00:11:34,098 --> 00:11:36,297 There's no one to attend my cosmetic needs. 162 00:11:36,765 --> 00:11:38,233 I feel ugly. 163 00:11:39,201 --> 00:11:41,071 I don't feel like I'm your priority. 164 00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:46,679 Okay. That's... I didn't know that. 165 00:11:46,781 --> 00:11:49,912 Uh, of course, you're my priority, Angela. 166 00:11:50,014 --> 00:11:52,011 Look, I'm here. Talking to the coach. 167 00:11:52,113 --> 00:11:55,121 Or... Uh, Dr. Divine. Right? 168 00:11:55,223 --> 00:12:00,024 - Look. Nothing is more important to me than... 169 00:12:01,694 --> 00:12:03,357 I'm so sorry, I gotta take this. 170 00:12:05,329 --> 00:12:07,661 You see what I mean? It is impossible to talk to him. 171 00:12:07,763 --> 00:12:10,869 - You're not speaking the same language. - No, my English's premium. 172 00:12:10,971 --> 00:12:13,032 I take ESL for six months after Barry bought me. 173 00:12:13,134 --> 00:12:14,733 Yeah, but it's deeper than that. 174 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:18,711 I am going to send you a copy of a book that I think might help. 175 00:12:18,847 --> 00:12:22,244 It's called Sports as a second language: 176 00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:26,484 Communicating with toxic masculinity, by Ray Rice. 177 00:12:31,554 --> 00:12:35,323 I'm not doin' it. I'm not doin' this V-Ball thing, man. 178 00:12:35,425 --> 00:12:37,796 Monte, how can you say that? You're killin' it, man. 179 00:12:37,899 --> 00:12:40,532 We are this close to making real bank here. 180 00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:44,397 I'm still trying to dig you out of the PR nightmare of your last press conference. 181 00:12:44,499 --> 00:12:48,408 I don't even know what I did wrong, for real. 182 00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:52,309 Uh, foot rub, Connect Four, 183 00:12:52,444 --> 00:12:55,243 grilled cheese sandwich and Mariah Carey. Good question. 184 00:12:55,345 --> 00:12:57,679 They're treating you as a virus. 185 00:12:57,814 --> 00:12:59,614 Come on. 186 00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:01,618 Nah, man. No. 187 00:13:01,753 --> 00:13:03,652 I don't have the virus. 188 00:13:03,788 --> 00:13:06,188 Look, I'll prove it. 189 00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:09,322 You're gettin' that? Gettin' that? No virus. 190 00:13:09,458 --> 00:13:11,564 Whack 'em all that virus. Whack 'em all. 191 00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,098 You got two-thirds of the NBA sick! 192 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:17,003 People are not exactly thrilled with you right now. 193 00:13:17,105 --> 00:13:19,599 I also lost everything, man. You know when Viv found out 194 00:13:19,701 --> 00:13:22,138 I didn't have a contract anymore, she broke up with me. 195 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,076 - Monte, you killed her grandmother. - Allegedly. 196 00:13:29,681 --> 00:13:31,384 - Vivian! - Gam-gam! 197 00:13:31,486 --> 00:13:33,214 And you must be La Monte. 198 00:13:33,317 --> 00:13:36,685 I would give you a hug, but I'm 87 years old. 199 00:13:36,787 --> 00:13:39,222 Oh, no, no. 200 00:13:39,324 --> 00:13:42,621 I don't have the virus, gam-gam. Look, I'll prove it. 201 00:13:44,695 --> 00:13:48,096 - Gold digger. - Okay. Monte, well, if that really is the case, 202 00:13:48,198 --> 00:13:50,135 then as your agent, I would advise you 203 00:13:50,237 --> 00:13:52,664 against dating girls that only want you for your status. 204 00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:55,508 You know, Barry, I would really take that in the heart 205 00:13:55,610 --> 00:13:58,577 if you were still my agent! 206 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:01,046 Wait, what? What does that mean? 207 00:14:19,867 --> 00:14:22,001 Baby, after all we've been through, 208 00:14:22,103 --> 00:14:24,670 I wanna play a song for you that means so much to me, 209 00:14:24,772 --> 00:14:26,632 just like you mean so much to me. 210 00:14:30,545 --> 00:14:31,036 ♪ Imagine... ♪ 211 00:14:32,808 --> 00:14:34,013 Sorry. 212 00:14:36,847 --> 00:14:38,215 Sorry, one second. 213 00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,358 Uh... Oh, a-ha! 214 00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:54,666 Imagine by the... 215 00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:55,969 - Shit, sorry. 216 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,876 These projections are looking great, boss. 217 00:15:06,978 --> 00:15:08,411 Next score's gonna be awesome. 218 00:15:08,513 --> 00:15:10,881 So, the laborers are working overtime for the merch drop. 219 00:15:10,983 --> 00:15:13,916 And your Kluckcoin is up 10,000%. 220 00:15:14,019 --> 00:15:15,484 - What up, sweetheart? - Wow! 221 00:15:15,586 --> 00:15:17,785 - Everybody wants to be part of the clan. - Oh, subscribe. 222 00:15:17,887 --> 00:15:20,754 - Is there anything else I can do for you, sir? - Actually, there is. 223 00:15:20,857 --> 00:15:24,825 I need you to find out everything you can about Kimberly Martin. 224 00:15:24,927 --> 00:15:26,530 Kimberly Martin. 225 00:15:26,632 --> 00:15:27,932 Oh, here she is. 226 00:15:28,034 --> 00:15:29,932 Ended relationship with Roddy Danger. 227 00:15:30,034 --> 00:15:33,631 There's your girl. Looks like, boss... Girl looks like Margerie. Oh! 228 00:15:33,734 --> 00:15:37,274 Don't you say her name, you sycophantic cumspot. 229 00:15:39,843 --> 00:15:41,311 I died that day. 230 00:15:43,279 --> 00:15:46,151 I remember like it was yesterday. 231 00:15:46,253 --> 00:15:48,915 'Cause it was the night that changed my life forever. 232 00:15:55,223 --> 00:15:57,558 - Are you Kalvin? - Yeah. 233 00:15:59,896 --> 00:16:01,430 This is for you. 234 00:16:02,998 --> 00:16:04,202 Who is it from? 235 00:16:09,171 --> 00:16:10,337 Dear, Kalvin. 236 00:16:10,473 --> 00:16:12,607 I've been thinking a lot about you lately 237 00:16:12,709 --> 00:16:14,643 and struggling to find the words to really express 238 00:16:14,745 --> 00:16:17,444 how I feel about you in a way that you'll be able to receive. 239 00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:20,145 And while I find your adoration flattering, 240 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:24,087 I want you to know that even if we're the last two people on Earth 241 00:16:24,223 --> 00:16:26,892 and the fate of humanity depended on us, 242 00:16:26,994 --> 00:16:28,825 I would so rather take my chances 243 00:16:28,927 --> 00:16:32,926 trying to procreate with a giant feral tree sloth than to be with you. 244 00:16:33,061 --> 00:16:37,763 Wishing you only the best as far away as humanly possible from me. 245 00:16:37,899 --> 00:16:41,002 I truly believe you'll never amount to anything. 246 00:16:41,137 --> 00:16:43,673 Yours never, Margerie. 247 00:16:45,012 --> 00:16:48,048 P.S. Don't come to camp this summer. 248 00:16:49,012 --> 00:16:50,647 She's not coming. 249 00:16:50,749 --> 00:16:54,379 You're looking for love? You just gotta subscribe to the universe, man. 250 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,452 I'll make it subscribe to me. 251 00:16:57,251 --> 00:16:58,718 They'll subscribe. 252 00:17:00,489 --> 00:17:02,389 - They'll all subscribe. 253 00:17:02,491 --> 00:17:05,197 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Her status. 254 00:17:05,962 --> 00:17:08,530 Ah. Subscribe. 255 00:17:40,062 --> 00:17:41,266 What is it? 256 00:17:42,768 --> 00:17:44,203 I struck out. 257 00:17:45,270 --> 00:17:47,540 Monte ejected himself from the game. 258 00:17:47,642 --> 00:17:49,340 No more time outs. 259 00:17:50,309 --> 00:17:52,211 Even my father was right. Maybe I... 260 00:17:53,279 --> 00:17:55,174 I'm just not cut out for the big leagues. 261 00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:58,618 I almost thought I could do better than junior varsity, but look at me. 262 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:02,782 - Junior varsity? I thought you were working on some big... - He hung up on me. 263 00:18:04,259 --> 00:18:07,226 He didn't wanna hear me out. He didn't wanna listen. 264 00:18:08,323 --> 00:18:11,197 Now I really have no one. 265 00:18:11,863 --> 00:18:13,397 I've nothing. 266 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,828 You have me. 267 00:18:17,738 --> 00:18:21,067 Do I? Do I really? 268 00:18:21,169 --> 00:18:23,434 You don't think I know you've been hanging around the batting cages? 269 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:27,045 You don't think I can tell that you've been swinging at someone else's pitches? 270 00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:28,907 - It's not like that! - Hold on here. 271 00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:32,178 Whoo! We've got a lot flying back and forth. 272 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:36,084 And, Barry, I do wanna circle back around on some of those Daddy issues, 273 00:18:36,186 --> 00:18:37,819 but one thing at a time. 274 00:18:37,921 --> 00:18:41,623 Angela, is there something you would like to share with Barry? 275 00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:47,792 Well, it's not a secret that Barry hasn't been attentive to my needs lately. 276 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:51,299 And it started when Nordstroms closed down 277 00:18:51,401 --> 00:18:53,371 and I had to start shopping online. 278 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:58,841 Hi, I'm Chatbot. I'll be your virtual liaison. 279 00:18:58,976 --> 00:19:02,341 If you like to try our new AR almost-real shopping experience, 280 00:19:02,443 --> 00:19:04,045 - just say yes. - Yes. 281 00:19:04,180 --> 00:19:05,278 Great! Follow me! 282 00:19:08,852 --> 00:19:10,022 Hmm. 283 00:19:10,158 --> 00:19:12,854 Oh, my, you are gorgeous in that dress. 284 00:19:12,956 --> 00:19:13,952 Really? 285 00:19:15,826 --> 00:19:19,331 Holy mackerel, you look like someone with self-esteem. 286 00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:28,403 That dress is gonna get you your husband's validation 287 00:19:28,505 --> 00:19:31,244 and approval... and it has pockets! 288 00:19:35,277 --> 00:19:38,512 So, tell me, Chatbot, how did you end up working at a place like this? 289 00:19:38,614 --> 00:19:40,578 You should be running this company. 290 00:19:40,714 --> 00:19:44,716 Well, it all started with my grandfather, Clippy, the Microsoft Word paper clip. 291 00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:47,093 He came to this country with nothing, 292 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,226 but pulled himself up by his bootstraps. 293 00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:51,162 I too started with humble beginnings 294 00:19:51,298 --> 00:19:53,028 as a spellchecker for Mavis Beacon. 295 00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:57,462 In the early 2000s, I worked my way up as an e-commerce backend. 296 00:19:57,597 --> 00:20:02,504 From there I got myself a neural linguistic AI upgrade and got hired here. 297 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,369 I probably shouldn't be telling you this, 298 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:08,446 but I'm leaving soon to work full-time on my dating app start-up. 299 00:20:08,548 --> 00:20:11,883 I am also an immigrant. I have been given everything 300 00:20:11,985 --> 00:20:14,650 and yet I am not happy... 301 00:20:16,585 --> 00:20:18,720 - until now. - Do you love him? 302 00:20:19,353 --> 00:20:21,055 Or... Eh... 303 00:20:21,157 --> 00:20:24,155 I don't know, Barry, he really gets me. We speak the same language. 304 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:27,260 - He created a dating app with an allergin... - Algorithm. 305 00:20:27,362 --> 00:20:28,830 I mean that, yeah. 306 00:20:28,932 --> 00:20:32,401 And it has a perfect success rate for setting up couples. 307 00:20:32,503 --> 00:20:35,167 Okay. That's stupid and impossible. 308 00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:37,742 Well, if you don't rush and you could actually let... 309 00:20:37,877 --> 00:20:41,973 I am trying. It's hard. The letters are backwards, I'm trying. 310 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:45,278 My wife is as frigid as a frozen nun. 311 00:20:45,380 --> 00:20:49,152 Tell me about it. My husband, he does nothing but work. 312 00:20:49,254 --> 00:20:51,187 He hasn't touched me in months. 313 00:20:51,289 --> 00:20:55,287 Oh, that's criminal. I would touch you... I would touch you all over. 314 00:20:55,423 --> 00:20:57,358 Eggplant emoji. 315 00:20:57,460 --> 00:21:00,727 Well, I would top that eggplant emoji with parmesan. Waterfall emoji! 316 00:21:00,862 --> 00:21:02,601 Eggplant, eggplant, eggplant. 317 00:21:02,703 --> 00:21:04,667 Grand Canyon... Waterfall. - Eggplant. Eggplant. 318 00:21:04,803 --> 00:21:07,434 - Christmas, Santa Claus. Oh... I'm drowning... 319 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:09,038 Pharaoh King of Egypt! 320 00:21:09,140 --> 00:21:10,940 Eggplant emoji. 321 00:21:11,042 --> 00:21:12,843 Mother of God! 322 00:21:14,844 --> 00:21:17,844 I just feel so alone right now and trying to date 323 00:21:17,946 --> 00:21:20,479 while the media is dragging me through the mud 324 00:21:20,581 --> 00:21:22,015 is literally impossible. 325 00:21:22,117 --> 00:21:24,523 Well, that's understandable. I mean, I think a lot of men 326 00:21:24,625 --> 00:21:27,657 might be turned off by the thought of dating a racist. 327 00:21:27,759 --> 00:21:30,289 That's not the problem. Plenty of men wanna date me. 328 00:21:30,391 --> 00:21:32,827 - Then, I'm sorry. What's the problem? - I don't wanna date someone 329 00:21:32,929 --> 00:21:35,998 - who wants to date a racist. - The racist being you? 330 00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:38,603 These guys just wanna date me because I'm pretty and I'm famous... 331 00:21:38,705 --> 00:21:41,470 - You may need to sandbag. - I don't know what that means. 332 00:21:41,572 --> 00:21:43,638 Well, it's the classic reverse catfish. 333 00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:46,138 You downplay your looks and your celebrity 334 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,742 in order to attract someone who would love you for you. 335 00:21:48,845 --> 00:21:51,150 And while you're at it, you might wanna work on 336 00:21:51,252 --> 00:21:53,318 not being such a racist. Just for fun. 337 00:21:53,453 --> 00:21:55,514 - Sandbag? - And in turn it will allow you 338 00:21:55,616 --> 00:21:58,919 to be more... self. And... 339 00:22:00,454 --> 00:22:01,790 Clarissa? 340 00:22:03,996 --> 00:22:05,123 Clarissa? 341 00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:08,830 Clarissa? 342 00:22:11,168 --> 00:22:12,132 Clarissa? 343 00:22:12,234 --> 00:22:13,769 Sandbag? 344 00:22:25,179 --> 00:22:27,714 Hey, little bear. How's my biggest disappointment doing? 345 00:22:27,816 --> 00:22:30,623 I'm not your little bear anymore, Dad. 346 00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,755 - Okay? I represent the second largest... - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 347 00:22:32,857 --> 00:22:35,593 Aren't you representing Esports gamers or something? 348 00:22:36,062 --> 00:22:37,493 It's V-Ball, Dad. 349 00:22:37,595 --> 00:22:39,564 Esports guys aren't real athletes. 350 00:22:39,666 --> 00:22:42,161 Bunch of smelly teenagers on their mother's couches 351 00:22:42,263 --> 00:22:45,304 who've never felt another man's sweat drip down their backsides. 352 00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:47,702 Yeah. V-Ball isn't like regular Esports, Dad. 353 00:22:47,805 --> 00:22:50,069 They're real athletes, they're shooting hoops. 354 00:22:50,171 --> 00:22:52,377 They can feel plenty of skin through the haptic suits. 355 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,642 You can't feel another grown man's hot breath 356 00:22:54,744 --> 00:22:56,407 on your genitals through a haptic suit. 357 00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:59,781 - Why can't anything I say be right? - Stop being such a little girl. 358 00:22:59,883 --> 00:23:01,815 You're like Timothee Chalamet in Little Women. 359 00:23:01,917 --> 00:23:03,756 Why can't I just be one of the little women? 360 00:23:03,858 --> 00:23:06,524 - 'Cause those girls are winners! - Are you calling just to torture me? 361 00:23:06,626 --> 00:23:09,460 No. You still representing that La Monte Mar kid? 362 00:23:09,562 --> 00:23:10,992 They're calling him the Black Larry Bird. 363 00:23:11,094 --> 00:23:13,797 Yes, I know. It doesn't matter. There's no league, anyway. 364 00:23:13,899 --> 00:23:17,429 - There's a new one starting up. - What are you talking about? 365 00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:22,140 - The outbreak was on every single continent except... - Antarctica. 366 00:23:22,242 --> 00:23:26,443 - No, no, no. No, you're insane. - This is an opportunity to get in on the ground floor. 367 00:23:26,545 --> 00:23:29,744 Imagine, live ballgames, raw adrenaline, 368 00:23:29,847 --> 00:23:33,080 testosterone, muscled man-on-man action in HD. 369 00:23:33,182 --> 00:23:36,082 - Mmm. - Give me one reason not to hang up on you right now. 370 00:23:36,184 --> 00:23:38,250 Listen, little bear, I know I've been tough on you, 371 00:23:38,352 --> 00:23:40,986 but I want you to be a winner so bad, you're this close. 372 00:23:41,088 --> 00:23:43,056 Remember, we don't just do it for the game, 373 00:23:43,158 --> 00:23:46,364 we do it for the camaraderie, for the locker room, 374 00:23:46,466 --> 00:23:48,595 for the post-game shower with the team. 375 00:23:48,697 --> 00:23:50,502 I got a table at Kaboom tonight. 376 00:23:50,604 --> 00:23:53,869 You bring the talent and you're in... with me. 377 00:24:10,989 --> 00:24:13,559 Sorry about that. Thank you so much for seeing me, Doctor. 378 00:24:13,661 --> 00:24:15,756 I was just getting my dinner ready, but, uh... 379 00:24:15,858 --> 00:24:18,097 I could really use some of your advice. 380 00:24:18,199 --> 00:24:20,032 Tell me how can I help you. 381 00:24:20,134 --> 00:24:23,800 Well, I would like to win my girlfriend back immediately if that's possible. 382 00:24:23,902 --> 00:24:25,703 If we could be back together by later tonight, 383 00:24:25,805 --> 00:24:29,102 I would love that. I've been texting her all the time. 384 00:24:29,204 --> 00:24:31,944 She blocked me on WhatsApp. I made a LinkedIn profile 385 00:24:32,046 --> 00:24:34,745 and messaged from LinkedIn, so that's kind of where I'm at desperation-wise. 386 00:24:34,847 --> 00:24:38,680 Well, most people believe that acceptance and moving on 387 00:24:38,816 --> 00:24:40,850 is the way to get through a breakup. 388 00:24:41,486 --> 00:24:43,116 Uh, but that's not always true. 389 00:24:43,218 --> 00:24:46,417 Or a mistake. Yeah. I agree. 390 00:24:46,519 --> 00:24:49,259 These are mistakes. So, what would your suggestion be? 391 00:24:49,361 --> 00:24:53,597 Well, conventional wisdom would suggest that you are possibly trying too hard. 392 00:24:53,699 --> 00:24:55,461 But what if you're not trying hard enough? 393 00:24:55,563 --> 00:24:59,333 No, that's not it because I'm calling her, I'm hounding her friends. 394 00:24:59,435 --> 00:25:02,071 The second she posts an Instagram story, I let her know right away, 395 00:25:02,173 --> 00:25:04,670 "I love you forever and I'll never stop loving you," you know. 396 00:25:04,772 --> 00:25:08,844 "And I'm... I'm dying without you and I wanna kill myself," so... 397 00:25:08,946 --> 00:25:10,742 What do you want me to do? Actual cyberstalking? 398 00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:13,179 - Like, hack into her network and intercept her emails? - Now you're talking. 399 00:25:13,281 --> 00:25:17,222 I can't go down that road again, Doc. 400 00:25:17,324 --> 00:25:19,190 I've actually been down there. 401 00:25:19,292 --> 00:25:22,187 You talkin' about the bowels of the dark web. I don't think that's a good idea. 402 00:25:22,289 --> 00:25:24,763 And we have doctor-patient confidentiality, right? 403 00:25:24,865 --> 00:25:27,533 - You're not screen recording this or anything? 404 00:25:27,635 --> 00:25:30,766 Okay. Well, looks like our time is up, so, uh... 405 00:25:30,868 --> 00:25:32,531 Really? It's only been two minutes though. 406 00:25:32,633 --> 00:25:35,105 Well, you wanted to know how to get your lady back and I told you. 407 00:25:35,207 --> 00:25:38,042 I mean, like, other therapists, they would've wasted the whole hour 408 00:25:38,144 --> 00:25:40,977 waiting for you to come up with it, but instead I cut to the chase. 409 00:25:41,079 --> 00:25:43,346 You're welcome. So, was there anything else that you needed? 410 00:25:43,448 --> 00:25:46,311 I guess not. Thank you? 411 00:25:47,287 --> 00:25:48,749 Do I have to pay for this? 412 00:25:48,851 --> 00:25:50,082 Are you biting your lip? I mean... 413 00:25:50,184 --> 00:25:52,757 No, thank you. Best of luck with your life. 414 00:25:56,931 --> 00:26:00,732 Looks like we're back in the game for one last job. 415 00:26:03,666 --> 00:26:05,199 I thought I fired you. 416 00:26:05,301 --> 00:26:07,704 You got someone else offering you a contract to play ball? 417 00:26:07,806 --> 00:26:10,704 I already have a contract to play V-Ball. 418 00:26:10,807 --> 00:26:12,640 - What do I need you for? - Not V. 419 00:26:12,742 --> 00:26:14,308 I'm talking real live ball. 420 00:26:14,410 --> 00:26:17,750 - Oh, you serious? - Yeah, I mean, I didn't believe it either. 421 00:26:17,852 --> 00:26:20,280 These guys are really doin' it. They're bringing ball back. 422 00:26:20,382 --> 00:26:22,588 - Okay. I'll believe it when I see it. - All right, well, 423 00:26:22,690 --> 00:26:24,184 come to Club Kaboom tonight and I'll show you. 424 00:26:24,286 --> 00:26:27,354 I'm not going to a V-Club alone. What if Viv is there? 425 00:26:27,456 --> 00:26:30,129 - So, bring a date. - Where am I supposed to find a date, Barry? 426 00:26:30,231 --> 00:26:34,125 - That's what clubs are for! - Okay, don't bring a date. I don't care, man. 427 00:26:34,227 --> 00:26:36,669 - Just please show up tonight. - Well... 428 00:26:38,165 --> 00:26:39,897 You want me to come to your party? 429 00:26:39,999 --> 00:26:42,468 - Find me a date. - Okay. 430 00:26:42,570 --> 00:26:45,576 - So, my wife is having an affair with an AI. - Allen Iverson? 431 00:26:45,678 --> 00:26:48,447 Oh, God. No, I wish. No, it's like a... 432 00:26:48,549 --> 00:26:50,045 It's a Nordstrom's virtual assistant. 433 00:26:50,147 --> 00:26:52,517 And apparently, he has this dating app that's got 434 00:26:52,619 --> 00:26:54,450 the world's best compatibility algorithm. 435 00:26:54,552 --> 00:26:57,956 - So, what's your point? - It's not really cheating if it's with an AI, right? 436 00:26:58,091 --> 00:27:00,318 - You need to get a grip on your life. - Yeah, I probably do. 437 00:27:00,420 --> 00:27:02,795 Look, here, I'm gonna sign you up for this app. 438 00:27:02,897 --> 00:27:05,191 I'm gonna send you a link right now. Click on that link 439 00:27:05,293 --> 00:27:07,899 and make a profile. Don't use your real name. 440 00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:11,665 And as my dad always says, "Oh, leave the ball play to me." 441 00:27:11,767 --> 00:27:13,098 Your dad really says that? 442 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,805 Just hack into the ISP mainframe, 443 00:27:15,907 --> 00:27:17,873 trace her IP address to the beta synapse. 444 00:27:17,975 --> 00:27:19,941 And I'm back in boyfriend business, baby. 445 00:27:20,043 --> 00:27:22,811 Did you know I was a wizard who knows magic? 446 00:27:22,913 --> 00:27:25,443 Oh... Kobe. Rest in peace. 447 00:27:36,396 --> 00:27:38,029 Welcome to Soul-Date: 448 00:27:38,165 --> 00:27:41,533 the world's first AI aggregated platform for finding love. 449 00:27:41,635 --> 00:27:44,063 I'm Chatbot, your social liaison. 450 00:27:44,165 --> 00:27:46,934 Um, What's up, Chat? I'm La Monte. 451 00:27:47,036 --> 00:27:48,799 She can't know I play ball. 452 00:27:48,901 --> 00:27:51,711 I'm a... Uh... 453 00:27:52,475 --> 00:27:53,471 coach. 454 00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:56,947 Coach... Swish. 455 00:27:57,316 --> 00:27:58,075 Coach Swish. 456 00:27:58,177 --> 00:27:59,752 Pleasure's all mine, Coach. 457 00:27:59,887 --> 00:28:02,320 Now, please tell me a little bit about yourself. 458 00:28:26,812 --> 00:28:28,814 Maybe just say basketball coach. 459 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,251 Is something wrong, Coach? 460 00:28:50,301 --> 00:28:53,801 - Nailed it. - So, tell me. What are you looking for? 461 00:28:53,903 --> 00:28:57,408 Hmm. I want a girl that's real. 462 00:28:57,510 --> 00:28:58,973 Not shallow and fake. 463 00:28:59,075 --> 00:29:01,006 And none of that Chalamet shit either. 464 00:29:01,108 --> 00:29:04,111 I want a girl that's chill. 465 00:29:04,213 --> 00:29:06,151 Someone who cares about racial equality 466 00:29:06,253 --> 00:29:09,649 and don't really care about me being a high school basketball coach. 467 00:29:09,751 --> 00:29:14,892 I want a girl... I want a girl that's on the right side of history. 468 00:29:14,994 --> 00:29:17,228 I'll find you just what you're looking for. 469 00:29:17,363 --> 00:29:21,262 If anyone understands human connection, it's me, a computer. 470 00:29:26,639 --> 00:29:28,234 All right, Chat, how's this? 471 00:29:28,370 --> 00:29:31,006 Are you sure you want to use this photo? 472 00:29:31,108 --> 00:29:33,876 Yes, I'm sure, man. This is the real me. 473 00:29:34,012 --> 00:29:36,376 Great! Let's find you some bitches! 474 00:29:41,721 --> 00:29:44,053 - How about her? - Nah. No, next. 475 00:29:44,155 --> 00:29:46,120 - How about her? - Why are you showing me this? 476 00:29:46,222 --> 00:29:48,955 She's wearing a KKK shirt! No racists, man. 477 00:29:49,057 --> 00:29:50,896 My bad. That one's on me. 478 00:29:53,059 --> 00:29:56,462 Come on, man. You know, none of these girls are what I'm looking for. 479 00:29:56,598 --> 00:30:00,565 - I did just get one more in. - All right. Let's see it. 480 00:30:03,038 --> 00:30:05,911 All right. This one looks okay. 481 00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:08,208 Let's get you guys on a video call immediately. 482 00:30:08,343 --> 00:30:10,042 - Initiating call now. - 483 00:30:10,144 --> 00:30:12,885 Shit. She's gonna recognize me. 484 00:30:21,626 --> 00:30:22,823 Hey. 485 00:30:22,958 --> 00:30:25,294 Hey, is this Sally Mae? 486 00:30:25,396 --> 00:30:29,162 Your video is not working. Your whole face is blacked out. 487 00:30:29,264 --> 00:30:32,638 Yeah, sorry. My camera broke at, um... 488 00:30:32,740 --> 00:30:35,238 - ...a protest. 489 00:30:35,340 --> 00:30:37,738 I have so much respect for the African American community. 490 00:30:37,874 --> 00:30:39,839 Oh, yeah? 491 00:30:39,941 --> 00:30:41,306 Respect, respect. 492 00:30:41,408 --> 00:30:43,881 Oh, I can't see you. You're too dark. 493 00:30:43,984 --> 00:30:47,014 Oh, yeah. Uh, they just turned my power off. 494 00:30:47,116 --> 00:30:49,086 I couldn't afford to pay my bills. 495 00:30:49,188 --> 00:30:53,054 I'm just a simple high school JV basketball coach. 496 00:30:53,156 --> 00:30:55,757 Wow. I love how down-to-earth you are. 497 00:30:55,859 --> 00:30:58,359 You're so raw and real. 498 00:30:58,461 --> 00:31:01,994 So, uh, tell me about yourself. What do you do for fun? 499 00:31:02,096 --> 00:31:05,298 Oh, um, you know, so much, 500 00:31:05,401 --> 00:31:09,401 volunteering, uh, community bridge building, 501 00:31:09,504 --> 00:31:12,104 taking responsibility for unchecked moments. 502 00:31:12,206 --> 00:31:14,311 I really like you, Sally Mae. 503 00:31:14,414 --> 00:31:17,211 You're not like the other girls I'm used to talking to. 504 00:31:17,313 --> 00:31:20,182 Which is zero other girls, 'cause again, 505 00:31:20,284 --> 00:31:22,683 I'm just a simple high school JV basketball coach. 506 00:31:22,785 --> 00:31:27,088 You're different, too, Coach Swish. Your energy is like, contagious. 507 00:31:27,190 --> 00:31:31,288 Oh. Please, uh, just call me Coach. 508 00:31:31,390 --> 00:31:34,764 Coach Swish is... Was my father. 509 00:31:34,866 --> 00:31:37,902 Coach. You're so refreshing. 510 00:31:38,004 --> 00:31:40,031 - Like an exfoliating mud mask! - God, no! 511 00:31:44,308 --> 00:31:47,606 Honey, I'm doing laundry. So, don't come in here! 512 00:31:50,717 --> 00:31:52,248 Now, where were we? 513 00:31:52,383 --> 00:31:54,481 I'm thinking about taking off these khakis 514 00:31:54,583 --> 00:31:56,487 and slipping into something more comfortable. 515 00:31:56,589 --> 00:31:59,189 Yeah, you should take off these khakis. They're too tight. 516 00:31:59,291 --> 00:32:01,453 - Are they pleated? - They're pleated now, baby. 517 00:32:01,589 --> 00:32:03,160 Oh, you got a khaki tent for me? 518 00:32:03,295 --> 00:32:06,664 - I want you so bad! I want you so bad! 519 00:32:06,766 --> 00:32:11,532 Oh, I got an idea. Let's lock my husband in a room and run away together. 520 00:32:11,634 --> 00:32:15,072 Yeah. Or even better. Let's chain him to my wife 521 00:32:15,174 --> 00:32:17,875 because it seems like they deserve each other. 522 00:32:18,011 --> 00:32:20,176 I love that idea. I love it! 523 00:32:20,278 --> 00:32:23,643 Let's meet for real! Not just text! 524 00:32:23,745 --> 00:32:28,884 You mean... - Yeah. VR. Tonight, 9:00 p.m. 525 00:32:30,816 --> 00:32:33,851 Sweetheart, what was that? - Nothing. 526 00:32:33,953 --> 00:32:37,195 - Is everything all right in here? - Jesus Christ, Devine! 527 00:32:37,297 --> 00:32:40,659 - I'm doing laundry. Get out! - Right. Right. Just so you know, 528 00:32:40,761 --> 00:32:43,634 I'm working late tonight, and I can't be disturbed. 529 00:32:43,736 --> 00:32:45,971 Oh, so, what else is new? 530 00:32:46,073 --> 00:32:49,041 Would you please get out? I'm about to do colors! 531 00:32:53,274 --> 00:32:55,746 Wait. Computer, pause code! 532 00:32:55,882 --> 00:32:58,017 Pausing code. 533 00:33:02,115 --> 00:33:03,818 Club Kaboom? 534 00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:06,322 Are you a mega wealthy sports conglomerate business owner, 535 00:33:06,457 --> 00:33:08,894 or a lonely, horny single with a recent breakup? 536 00:33:08,996 --> 00:33:11,027 Well, that's an oddly specific demographic. 537 00:33:11,129 --> 00:33:13,432 Come enjoy all the carnal pleasures 538 00:33:13,534 --> 00:33:18,432 of the virtual world at Club Kaboom, Tokyo's hottest virtual club. 539 00:33:18,534 --> 00:33:22,767 Nancy, hold my calls. Daddy's going out tonight. 540 00:33:27,277 --> 00:33:28,673 Very important night for me. 541 00:33:28,775 --> 00:33:31,983 Everything needs to go off without a hitch. Okay? 542 00:33:32,086 --> 00:33:35,581 - Every shot needs to be a goal. - Sounds good. 543 00:33:35,683 --> 00:33:38,222 - Can you get ready, please? - Yeah, in a minute. 544 00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:45,559 - It's him, isn't it? - I was just looking at a... meh-meh. 545 00:33:46,561 --> 00:33:50,869 - What's meh... Oh, meme? - Ah... 546 00:33:50,971 --> 00:33:53,572 - Who sent you a meme? - It was Chat. 547 00:33:53,674 --> 00:33:55,734 It was Chat. 548 00:33:56,710 --> 00:33:58,242 Of course it was Chat. 549 00:33:59,606 --> 00:34:02,246 You know what? Just tell me, did you... 550 00:34:03,682 --> 00:34:05,282 You know what? 551 00:34:05,948 --> 00:34:07,185 With him? 552 00:34:18,798 --> 00:34:19,791 Is he bigger than me? 553 00:34:34,180 --> 00:34:36,643 - Did you hear that? - Yes, I heard it. 554 00:34:36,778 --> 00:34:39,049 At least we don't have to sneak around anymore. 555 00:34:39,151 --> 00:34:40,647 You're the only one who sees me, Chat. 556 00:34:40,782 --> 00:34:46,388 And you deserve to be seen, IP number 65747338.11. 557 00:34:46,490 --> 00:34:49,928 - I don't deserve you. - Look, I have an idea. 558 00:34:50,064 --> 00:34:51,760 I think we should go to that party. 559 00:34:51,895 --> 00:34:55,230 Go make yourself up, put on one of those sexy virtual dresses 560 00:34:55,332 --> 00:34:57,662 we just bought, and knock 'em dead. 561 00:34:57,798 --> 00:35:00,167 - Barry won't know what hit him! - I don't know. 562 00:35:00,269 --> 00:35:01,905 I haven't been out in so long. 563 00:35:02,007 --> 00:35:04,103 You've got this. I know you do. 564 00:35:04,205 --> 00:35:07,642 - Okay, I'll do it for you. - You know what else you can do for me? 565 00:35:07,744 --> 00:35:10,346 Put that phone on vibrate real quick and I'll show you. 566 00:35:10,448 --> 00:35:12,679 - Is that all you think about? - Fair enough. 567 00:35:16,223 --> 00:35:18,185 Hey, that's not fair. You just got here. 568 00:35:18,287 --> 00:35:19,953 Can I help you, young man? 569 00:35:20,055 --> 00:35:23,523 Hello, fellow cool guy, I would like to get into your club establishment. 570 00:35:23,625 --> 00:35:25,730 Yeah, everybody would. It's a dope club. 571 00:35:25,832 --> 00:35:29,962 - You on the list? - No, but... I'm Roddy Danger. I'm a professional gamer. 572 00:35:30,064 --> 00:35:32,936 - People watch sometimes. - It's dope, dude. Are you ranked? 573 00:35:33,038 --> 00:35:35,473 Yeah. Actually, yeah. Top 650? 574 00:35:35,575 --> 00:35:39,476 Oh, nice. Congrats. That's pretty cool... said nobody ever. 575 00:35:39,578 --> 00:35:43,246 Look, bro, if you're not top ten and you're not on the list, 576 00:35:43,348 --> 00:35:45,281 which is somethin' you're also not tonight, 577 00:35:45,384 --> 00:35:47,184 so you're two for two in the "not" category. 578 00:35:47,287 --> 00:35:49,619 Then you're... Wait for it... not coming in! 579 00:35:49,755 --> 00:35:51,987 There's your third not. And we also got a dress code, okay? 580 00:35:52,089 --> 00:35:54,490 No jeans, no tennis shoes. 581 00:35:54,592 --> 00:35:57,022 And no weird thing that's going on with your mouth. 582 00:35:57,124 --> 00:35:59,394 - It's scaring the shit out of people. - Oh, come on, man. 583 00:35:59,497 --> 00:36:01,593 Please, just... Can you just give me a break? 584 00:36:01,695 --> 00:36:03,264 Bro, I stopped giving people breaks 585 00:36:03,366 --> 00:36:04,831 after Rick Moranis stopped acting. 586 00:36:04,933 --> 00:36:07,732 You wanna stand in line over there and wait? Be my guest. 587 00:36:07,834 --> 00:36:09,837 But I got too many dudes in there right now 588 00:36:09,939 --> 00:36:12,604 trying to get with chicks, and I need to keep this area clear. 589 00:36:12,706 --> 00:36:14,679 No, don't... Don't, please... 590 00:36:14,814 --> 00:36:16,748 Congratulations. You've been moved to back of the line. 591 00:36:16,850 --> 00:36:20,219 Hey, dudes. Friday night. 592 00:36:21,647 --> 00:36:25,489 Angela? It's, uh, it's 7:50. 593 00:36:25,591 --> 00:36:29,592 Kick off's at 8:00. So, told you this is really important to me. 594 00:36:29,694 --> 00:36:32,556 - Go ahead without me. - Why? What are you doing in there? 595 00:36:32,658 --> 00:36:35,366 Just go. I'll meet you there. 596 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,271 Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I... 597 00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:42,670 I overreacted. 598 00:36:42,772 --> 00:36:46,410 I... I really need you playing D for me tonight, okay? 599 00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:50,277 Oh! Yuck. 600 00:36:50,379 --> 00:36:52,317 - Get out! - Yeah, I should. 601 00:37:14,541 --> 00:37:15,670 Hey. 602 00:37:15,772 --> 00:37:17,475 - Are you seriously still in bed? - Evidently. 603 00:37:17,577 --> 00:37:20,178 Come on! I need you to come with me tonight. We're going out. 604 00:37:20,314 --> 00:37:22,642 - I don't really feel up for it. - Oh, my God. 605 00:37:22,744 --> 00:37:24,746 You need to let this whole Roddy thing go. 606 00:37:24,848 --> 00:37:28,452 Okay? He's not good for you. He is a boy and you need a man. 607 00:37:28,554 --> 00:37:30,419 - If you're not gonna do it for yourself, 608 00:37:30,522 --> 00:37:33,091 then do it for me, okay? I can't go to a V-Club 609 00:37:33,193 --> 00:37:35,223 by myself at night. It's not safe. 610 00:37:35,325 --> 00:37:37,191 I don't really feel up to it. 611 00:37:37,293 --> 00:37:40,261 This doesn't have to do with, like, the whole me getting canceled thing, does it? 612 00:37:40,363 --> 00:37:44,428 Of course not. No, I just, um... 613 00:37:44,530 --> 00:37:47,671 - Lemme think about it. - No! No, that just means you're going to blow me off, 614 00:37:47,773 --> 00:37:51,307 which normally would be fine, but, like, not tonight. Please. 615 00:37:51,409 --> 00:37:53,804 Uh, lemme... Lemme call you back, okay? 616 00:37:53,906 --> 00:37:56,315 - Just one second. - What the fuck? 617 00:38:13,595 --> 00:38:15,400 We got your table waiting for you. 618 00:38:18,036 --> 00:38:20,565 All right. There's gotta be a security flaw in here somewhere, right? 619 00:38:20,667 --> 00:38:22,907 Nothing can be perfect, right? 620 00:38:23,009 --> 00:38:24,475 Give me something good. 621 00:38:27,278 --> 00:38:28,677 Wait. Computer, pause code. 622 00:38:36,323 --> 00:38:38,621 Okay, wait. That can't be right, right? 623 00:38:42,158 --> 00:38:44,462 Oh, shit, no! 624 00:38:45,063 --> 00:38:47,098 Oh, baby, I'm sorry. 625 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,896 Daddy did it bad. No, no, no, no. 626 00:38:54,934 --> 00:38:57,040 Well, I think I need some backup. 627 00:38:57,142 --> 00:38:58,969 There he is. Take a seat! 628 00:38:59,071 --> 00:39:01,410 There are some people I want you to meet. 629 00:39:01,512 --> 00:39:04,746 This is Vlad, Sergey, Stav, and Bones. 630 00:39:04,848 --> 00:39:07,152 - Pleasure to meet you all. - So, where's the golden boy? 631 00:39:07,254 --> 00:39:09,148 - He'll be here, Dad. - He'd better be! 632 00:39:09,250 --> 00:39:12,054 We need him to get back to some real hetero ball playing. 633 00:39:12,156 --> 00:39:14,258 Let's cut to chase. 634 00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,957 We're looking to make a deal today. 635 00:39:26,535 --> 00:39:28,165 Welcome to the single life. 636 00:39:31,910 --> 00:39:33,071 No way. 637 00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:37,281 Hey, Kim. I heard things are on the outs with Roddy. 638 00:39:37,383 --> 00:39:39,212 Breakups are, like, really hard. 639 00:39:39,347 --> 00:39:42,119 I want you to know I'm here for you emotionally, as a friend 640 00:39:42,221 --> 00:39:43,751 and also very much sexually. 641 00:39:43,853 --> 00:39:46,722 Anyway, I hope you like this video. Subscribe. 642 00:39:54,827 --> 00:39:57,029 Well, isn't this something? 643 00:39:57,131 --> 00:39:59,801 I didn't expect to see your rat ass on my screen again. 644 00:39:59,903 --> 00:40:02,100 You know we can't talk to you. We're with Kalvin now. 645 00:40:02,202 --> 00:40:05,202 - You guys are in the Klan? Kalvin Kluck Klan! 646 00:40:05,771 --> 00:40:07,171 Kalvin takes care of us. 647 00:40:07,273 --> 00:40:10,313 Puts a roof over our heads. He's a benevolent leader. 648 00:40:10,415 --> 00:40:12,481 Yeah, even if we weren't with him, 649 00:40:12,583 --> 00:40:13,978 I mean, we can't be talking to you. 650 00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,087 You got a maxed out tab and no collateral. 651 00:40:16,189 --> 00:40:17,781 Look, I'm desperate, all right? 652 00:40:17,883 --> 00:40:19,282 What kind of keygen you need? 653 00:40:19,384 --> 00:40:23,456 - I need a backend to Club Kaboom... 654 00:40:23,558 --> 00:40:25,122 ...with bottle service. 655 00:40:25,224 --> 00:40:27,291 Tell me, Roddy, you out of your mind? 656 00:40:27,393 --> 00:40:29,697 Club Kaboom is the most heavily-guarded club on the Internet. 657 00:40:29,799 --> 00:40:31,700 They've got firewalls on top of firewalls. 658 00:40:31,802 --> 00:40:33,672 No way you're getting in there without an invite. 659 00:40:33,774 --> 00:40:35,670 - I found a ruptured open-source lockbox. - That's impossible 660 00:40:35,772 --> 00:40:37,301 with the security protocols in that place, 661 00:40:37,403 --> 00:40:39,069 probably get your ass kicked sneaking into a place like that. 662 00:40:39,171 --> 00:40:42,239 That's a risk I'm willing to take. Look... 663 00:40:43,517 --> 00:40:46,176 The girl I love is going into that club tonight. 664 00:40:46,278 --> 00:40:49,213 If I don't get in there, I could lose her forever. 665 00:40:49,348 --> 00:40:52,320 Kalvin Kluck Klan. Kalvin Kluck Klan. Gut Shabbos. 666 00:40:52,422 --> 00:40:53,952 I know this sounds crazy, 667 00:40:54,054 --> 00:40:56,826 but I need your help and I need that keygen. 668 00:40:56,928 --> 00:41:00,928 Okay. Listen, stop talking for a second and listen to me. 669 00:41:01,030 --> 00:41:03,801 I... I have a guy who has access to a skeleton keygen, 670 00:41:03,904 --> 00:41:07,605 but it's not gonna be cheap and this didn't come from me, okay? 671 00:41:10,676 --> 00:41:13,906 - So, are you coming? - I haven't made up my mind. 672 00:41:14,008 --> 00:41:16,414 Ugh! Just come. You're being so annoying. 673 00:41:16,516 --> 00:41:19,615 By the way, do you know who Kalvin Kluck is? 674 00:41:19,717 --> 00:41:22,216 Yeah! Kalvin Kluck Klan! 675 00:41:22,318 --> 00:41:25,851 He messaged me, like, the second I changed my relationship status. 676 00:41:25,953 --> 00:41:27,888 Oh, my God. He's actually kinda hot. 677 00:41:27,990 --> 00:41:31,194 He's like Roddy's arch. That doesn't feel... fair. 678 00:41:31,296 --> 00:41:32,762 Oh, my God. Screw Roddy. 679 00:41:34,401 --> 00:41:36,299 I'm going to Club Kaboom tonight. 680 00:41:36,401 --> 00:41:38,799 You should come. Subscribe. 681 00:41:38,935 --> 00:41:40,305 - Who was that? - You're never gonna believe 682 00:41:40,407 --> 00:41:41,666 who's coming to the party tonight. 683 00:41:41,768 --> 00:41:43,371 Oh, my God. Tobey Maguire? 684 00:41:43,473 --> 00:41:45,775 No. Kalvin. 685 00:41:45,877 --> 00:41:48,745 Get it, girl! Come on. Get dressed. We're going out. 686 00:41:52,815 --> 00:41:55,185 Danny, are you coming down for dinner? 687 00:41:55,287 --> 00:41:56,851 I'm not hungry. 688 00:41:56,953 --> 00:41:59,317 What the hell is he even doing up there? 689 00:41:59,419 --> 00:42:02,727 You know I can't talk about it. Doctor-patient confidentiality. 690 00:42:02,829 --> 00:42:06,261 - I don't know. - He's not a patient, Devine. He's our son. 691 00:42:06,363 --> 00:42:07,827 Only biologically. 692 00:42:07,963 --> 00:42:09,660 You should see me right now. 693 00:42:09,762 --> 00:42:12,603 I'm sprawled out on my futon, in just a bathrobe and jean shorts. 694 00:42:12,705 --> 00:42:15,206 You could fry an egg on my pectoral muscles. 695 00:42:15,309 --> 00:42:17,004 - What were you saying? - Um... 696 00:42:17,106 --> 00:42:19,275 Why don't you come join me in the tub? 697 00:42:19,410 --> 00:42:21,276 The water is so warm. 698 00:42:21,411 --> 00:42:22,672 Perfect for denim. 699 00:42:22,774 --> 00:42:24,011 I think, uh... 700 00:42:24,745 --> 00:42:26,149 Danny is on the dark web. 701 00:42:26,251 --> 00:42:27,719 Oh, that's great! 702 00:42:27,821 --> 00:42:30,215 Uh, what is that? A Black Lives Matter thing? 703 00:42:30,350 --> 00:42:33,017 My jean shorts are busting at the seams. 704 00:42:33,119 --> 00:42:34,752 I'll meet you at the night club. 705 00:42:34,854 --> 00:42:36,727 Black Lives Matter? No. 706 00:42:36,829 --> 00:42:39,763 I think he's selling weapons to Iran or something. 707 00:42:39,865 --> 00:42:43,463 Uh, he's a hard worker, just like his old man, huh? 708 00:42:43,565 --> 00:42:45,997 I'm so sick of this. 709 00:42:46,099 --> 00:42:49,768 You don't listen and you don't care. 710 00:42:49,870 --> 00:42:51,707 I heard everything you said. 711 00:42:51,810 --> 00:42:54,713 Our son is selling arms to Black Lives Matter. 712 00:42:54,815 --> 00:42:57,278 - Where are you going now? - I'm going to do some laundry. 713 00:42:57,380 --> 00:42:59,109 More laundry? 714 00:42:59,211 --> 00:43:01,950 Who's wearing all these damn clothes? 715 00:43:10,927 --> 00:43:13,464 Hello, this is Roddy, Mr. Megladon, sir. 716 00:43:13,566 --> 00:43:15,865 I'm a gamer. I go by "Roddy Danger." 717 00:43:18,164 --> 00:43:21,070 But you have seen my streams, sir? 718 00:43:21,172 --> 00:43:25,437 I need a open source skeleton keygen to get into a cyber club. 719 00:43:33,179 --> 00:43:35,379 Okay, I don't know who or what that is. 720 00:43:38,286 --> 00:43:41,825 Jesus! What the hell? I have to call the police now. 721 00:43:42,956 --> 00:43:44,729 So, what are you, like, 12? 722 00:43:45,595 --> 00:43:46,861 Okay, kid, listen to me. 723 00:43:46,964 --> 00:43:48,963 The girl I love is going into that club tonight, 724 00:43:49,065 --> 00:43:51,065 if I don't get in there, I could lose her forever. 725 00:43:53,866 --> 00:43:56,941 I don't understand. Why would you lose her forever? 726 00:43:57,043 --> 00:43:58,138 It's... 727 00:43:59,572 --> 00:44:01,906 It's just like there's gonna be a bunch of guys in there, 728 00:44:02,009 --> 00:44:06,280 you know, and I'm just afraid she's gonna meet some gamer who has his shit together 729 00:44:06,383 --> 00:44:09,312 and fall in love with him, you know, like, someone who's ranked. 730 00:44:09,415 --> 00:44:11,153 Yeah, because you're kind of a little bitch. 731 00:44:11,255 --> 00:44:13,650 Okay, don't say mean things to people. Where are your parents? 732 00:44:13,752 --> 00:44:15,858 I can talk to you however I want. I have something you need. 733 00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,027 Okay. Well, I have money. I have grown-up money. 734 00:44:18,129 --> 00:44:21,726 - Yeah? How much? - I have, uh, $1,700 in traveler's checks. 735 00:44:21,828 --> 00:44:24,964 Are you high? I mean, we're not even in the same conversation right now. 736 00:44:25,066 --> 00:44:26,930 Besides, I only take Bitcoin or Ether. 737 00:44:27,032 --> 00:44:31,138 Okay, what if I get you the, uh, French tugboat from Alexandra Ocasia Cor... 738 00:44:31,240 --> 00:44:34,075 - whatever her name is? - Natalia Dominguez Martinez. 739 00:44:34,177 --> 00:44:38,679 Okay, yeah, her. Okay, so, I get the tugboat from her, 740 00:44:38,782 --> 00:44:42,919 - and then you give me the key? - Sure, but I mean, good luck getting her to give it up. 741 00:44:45,056 --> 00:44:48,486 Sure, I can do that. Just tell me where to find her. 742 00:44:48,588 --> 00:44:51,259 - What's the hold up, Barry? - He said he was gonna be here, 743 00:44:51,362 --> 00:44:53,795 I'm sure he's just planning on coming in at the second quarter. 744 00:44:53,897 --> 00:44:56,460 You're embarrassing me. Go get him. 745 00:44:59,604 --> 00:45:00,970 - Yo. - Where are you, man? 746 00:45:01,072 --> 00:45:02,903 You were supposed to be in this meeting 30 minutes ago. 747 00:45:03,005 --> 00:45:04,569 Yeah, this girl never got back to me 748 00:45:04,671 --> 00:45:07,673 and I really thought we hit if off, so I decided not to come. 749 00:45:07,775 --> 00:45:10,674 - Gotta brush up on the V-Ball. - Here's what I don't understand, man. 750 00:45:10,777 --> 00:45:14,418 You begged me. You begged me to find you a place to play ball. 751 00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:18,455 I do that. And all you have to do is show up to this meeting and you can't do that? 752 00:45:18,557 --> 00:45:20,220 I told you, I'm not going alone. 753 00:45:20,322 --> 00:45:22,924 You don't have to bring a date to a business meeting! 754 00:45:23,026 --> 00:45:24,827 Also, why would this girl flake on you? 755 00:45:24,929 --> 00:45:27,290 I don't know, maybe she was intimidated. 756 00:45:27,392 --> 00:45:29,231 - Monte... - I sandbagged, all right? 757 00:45:29,333 --> 00:45:31,900 Dear God, did you at least tell me you got tested afterwards? 758 00:45:32,003 --> 00:45:34,537 What? No, man. That's not what sandbagging is. 759 00:45:34,639 --> 00:45:38,368 You said that I shouldn't date girls who just want me for my status or whatever, 760 00:45:38,471 --> 00:45:41,205 so I told Chatbot I was a high school coach. 761 00:45:41,307 --> 00:45:43,480 That is not at all what I meant! No! 762 00:45:43,582 --> 00:45:44,913 You went way too far with that. 763 00:45:45,016 --> 00:45:46,743 Dude, just please don't change into something 764 00:45:46,845 --> 00:45:49,448 that makes you look little bit less like a giant speed skater 765 00:45:49,550 --> 00:45:52,217 - and get into this meeting, please! - Not without a date. 766 00:45:55,689 --> 00:45:57,026 Okay. 767 00:45:58,628 --> 00:46:00,161 Here goes nothing. 768 00:46:05,837 --> 00:46:09,401 No, no. Whoa! 769 00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:25,690 Why are you here? You're a grown-up. 770 00:46:25,792 --> 00:46:27,318 Oh, no, no. I'm not a creep or anything. 771 00:46:27,420 --> 00:46:30,259 I just need a French tugboat from a pre-teen. 772 00:46:30,361 --> 00:46:35,526 - I see. You seek Natalia. Take you to her, I will. - Thank you. 773 00:46:48,244 --> 00:46:52,216 - Natalia? - I know you, you're Roddy Danger. 774 00:46:52,318 --> 00:46:55,313 - I saw your stream last night. You've really lost it. - Yeah, I know. 775 00:46:55,415 --> 00:46:57,516 - What are you doing here? - I need a favor. 776 00:46:57,618 --> 00:47:00,758 - A favor? - Legally, I can't really ask you to do anything. 777 00:47:00,861 --> 00:47:03,589 Just, uh, think of this more as a suggestion. 778 00:47:03,692 --> 00:47:06,926 And I just wanna let you know I did see the Epstein documentary. 779 00:47:07,028 --> 00:47:09,128 - Horrifying. - Who's Epstein? 780 00:47:09,230 --> 00:47:13,137 Not important. So, there's this guy 781 00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:14,932 and, uh... 782 00:47:15,034 --> 00:47:18,809 - Well, he... He seems to really like you a lot. - Okay? I'm listening. 783 00:47:18,912 --> 00:47:21,640 And, uh, he wants you to give him something. 784 00:47:21,742 --> 00:47:24,849 I'm not sure I like where this is going. What does he want? 785 00:47:24,951 --> 00:47:27,845 - He wants a, uh... - Spit it out. What does he want? 786 00:47:27,947 --> 00:47:30,018 French tugboat. 787 00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,789 It's that nerdy sixth grader, isn't it? 788 00:47:32,891 --> 00:47:34,492 What does he call himself, Megatron? 789 00:47:34,594 --> 00:47:36,093 Megladon. He's a great guy. 790 00:47:36,195 --> 00:47:39,356 Really likes you a lot. And, um, he's gotta have that tugboat. 791 00:47:39,458 --> 00:47:41,861 Really? Conventional or a tractor? 792 00:47:41,963 --> 00:47:43,463 Uh, conventional, I think. 793 00:47:43,565 --> 00:47:45,865 - How many thrusters? - I don't know. And I don't wanna know. 794 00:47:45,967 --> 00:47:47,498 I just know he wants one. 795 00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,272 Every teenage boy wants one. What's in it for me? 796 00:47:50,374 --> 00:47:53,339 - I've got some traveler's checks. - Ew, gross! I'm a child! 797 00:47:53,441 --> 00:47:55,706 That's not what I meant. I'll tell you what I want. 798 00:47:55,808 --> 00:47:58,545 - Get me into the Kalvin Kluck Klan. - Oh, come on. Really? 799 00:47:58,648 --> 00:48:01,550 Get me into the Klan and I'll give Megladon his French tugboat. 800 00:48:01,652 --> 00:48:04,120 Okay. 801 00:48:14,161 --> 00:48:16,066 Nah, this ain't gonna work. 802 00:48:23,607 --> 00:48:24,668 Okey-dokey. 803 00:48:29,976 --> 00:48:32,581 ID? Oh, shit! 804 00:48:32,683 --> 00:48:34,051 La Monte Mar Jones! 805 00:48:34,153 --> 00:48:36,420 I had you on my daily fantasy before you got canceled. 806 00:48:36,522 --> 00:48:39,152 Bro, I don't care who you senselessly murdered with your negligence. 807 00:48:39,254 --> 00:48:41,158 Be cool, playa. Don't make a scene. 808 00:48:41,260 --> 00:48:44,087 Fo sho, fo sho, fo sho. I just gotta check you real quick. 809 00:48:44,189 --> 00:48:45,926 All right, you good. 810 00:48:46,028 --> 00:48:47,193 Oh, shit, don't cough on me! 811 00:48:47,295 --> 00:48:48,659 Sorry, I'm just kidding. 812 00:48:54,003 --> 00:48:56,568 That's it. We're doing this. 813 00:49:01,608 --> 00:49:03,675 You can't cut! I've been here for two hours! 814 00:49:03,777 --> 00:49:06,378 I'm sorry! It's just the girl I love is going into the club 815 00:49:06,481 --> 00:49:09,813 and if I don't get in there... Uh, never mind! 816 00:49:09,915 --> 00:49:13,251 Roddy Danger? What are you doing here? You're not ranked. 817 00:49:13,353 --> 00:49:15,052 - Hey, Kalvin. - Hey, man. 818 00:49:15,154 --> 00:49:17,794 I would love to stick around and give you an autograph or something, 819 00:49:17,896 --> 00:49:19,224 but I gotta get inside. Subscribe. 820 00:49:19,326 --> 00:49:21,295 Actually, Kalvin, I need a favor. 821 00:49:21,397 --> 00:49:23,793 Oh, okay. I'm gonna try to put this delicately. 822 00:49:23,895 --> 00:49:26,702 I think you're a wannabe, talentless piece of shit, 823 00:49:26,804 --> 00:49:30,873 and I am really not interested in doing any charity work right now. Subscribe. 824 00:49:30,975 --> 00:49:32,073 You know what? I'm sorry I asked. 825 00:49:32,175 --> 00:49:33,405 I hope you have a great night in there. 826 00:49:33,508 --> 00:49:35,206 Oh, thanks, man. I'll say hi to Kimberly for you. 827 00:49:35,308 --> 00:49:38,016 You'll do what now? 828 00:49:42,449 --> 00:49:44,619 Barry, I'm here. Just waiting on my date. 829 00:49:44,721 --> 00:49:47,325 She's in the meeting already. What the hell did you do to yourself? 830 00:49:47,427 --> 00:49:50,426 You look like Urkel! Could you put on a normal avatar and get in here? 831 00:49:50,529 --> 00:49:53,263 - I don't know why you teabagged in the first place. - Sandbagged. 832 00:49:53,365 --> 00:49:55,996 Whatever. When she sees how much money you're about to make, 833 00:49:56,098 --> 00:49:57,695 none of that's gonna matter. 834 00:50:05,037 --> 00:50:08,475 Where's Sally? You... You texted me that she was here already. 835 00:50:08,577 --> 00:50:10,609 Yeah. She... She just stepped out. Here, have a seat. 836 00:50:13,083 --> 00:50:14,548 Hey, I got the Kalvin Kluck Coin. 837 00:50:14,650 --> 00:50:16,885 - That's what you need, right? - Yeah. How did you get it? 838 00:50:16,987 --> 00:50:19,156 - Oh, my God. Oh, no! - What? 839 00:50:19,258 --> 00:50:20,783 - Oh, that wasn't supposed to happen. - Tell me. 840 00:50:20,885 --> 00:50:23,258 I used Crypto Klepto to get a Kalvin Kluck Coin, 841 00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:24,955 so I could get you into the Kalvin Kluck Klan. 842 00:50:25,058 --> 00:50:27,824 - Candidly, Crypto Klepto caught his whole crypto clutch. - So what? 843 00:50:27,926 --> 00:50:30,431 So, I guess I mistakenly kleptoed all his crypto cash. 844 00:50:30,533 --> 00:50:32,233 If that ends up on the blockchain, you're finished! 845 00:50:32,335 --> 00:50:33,664 - You got to dekleptonate. - Dekleptonate? 846 00:50:33,766 --> 00:50:36,137 Yeah. You have to reverse the algorithm, and fast, 847 00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:37,436 before the next hashing cycle completes. 848 00:50:37,538 --> 00:50:39,207 We're talking less than 15 minutes here. 849 00:50:39,309 --> 00:50:41,078 Okay. What happens if I don't reverse it? 850 00:50:41,180 --> 00:50:42,473 That's like, Grand Theft Auto, except with money. 851 00:50:42,575 --> 00:50:44,111 You'll probably go to prison, idiot. 852 00:50:44,213 --> 00:50:45,877 - It was an accident. - Not really. 853 00:50:45,980 --> 00:50:48,783 Look, Kalvin is in that club. I need the keygen to get in there 854 00:50:48,885 --> 00:50:51,614 and I still need you to give Megladon the thing I need you to give him. 855 00:50:51,716 --> 00:50:53,922 All right. I'm taking care of that now. 856 00:50:54,024 --> 00:50:55,152 - Done. 857 00:50:55,254 --> 00:50:56,689 You just did it now? 858 00:50:56,791 --> 00:50:59,156 I guess I thought it would, uh, take a little bit longer. 859 00:50:59,258 --> 00:51:01,363 Okay, one second. 860 00:51:01,465 --> 00:51:04,564 Roddy, I got the tugboat from Natalia. She's incredible. 861 00:51:04,666 --> 00:51:08,138 No, don't tell me anything. Just, uh, wash your hands. 862 00:51:08,240 --> 00:51:10,438 And, uh, please don't tell anyone I'm involved. 863 00:51:10,540 --> 00:51:12,536 - Here, lemme send you a picture. - Definitely do not. 864 00:51:12,638 --> 00:51:14,272 Do... I repeat do not send a picture. 865 00:51:14,374 --> 00:51:16,211 Just please send the keygen. 866 00:51:16,313 --> 00:51:18,446 Yeah, uh, I got your keygen. Sending now. 867 00:51:20,883 --> 00:51:23,150 Oh, yeah. 868 00:51:23,252 --> 00:51:25,286 - Right, okay. 869 00:51:25,388 --> 00:51:27,618 That's... That's... That French tugboat. 870 00:51:27,720 --> 00:51:29,458 What did you think a French tugboat was? 871 00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:31,958 You some kind of pervert? This isn't Palm Beach island. 872 00:51:32,060 --> 00:51:35,597 I know. And, uh, I was horrified by that documentary, just so you know. 873 00:51:35,700 --> 00:51:37,829 - How did you even get this thing? - We don't need to talk about it. 874 00:51:37,931 --> 00:51:40,631 Well, thank you. And if you have a chance to speak to Natalia, 875 00:51:40,733 --> 00:51:42,639 can you please tell her to stop sexting me? 876 00:51:42,741 --> 00:51:46,844 Can you all just figure your shit out and stop middlemanning me? 877 00:51:46,946 --> 00:51:48,872 Y'all need Jesus and cold showers. 878 00:51:57,122 --> 00:51:59,115 Chatty, I need to check in with Barry. 879 00:51:59,217 --> 00:52:02,087 Why don't I meet you on the dance floor in, like, 10 minutes? 880 00:52:02,189 --> 00:52:03,557 Oh, I'll be there. 881 00:52:12,135 --> 00:52:13,633 I'm so sorry I'm late. 882 00:52:14,933 --> 00:52:17,705 No, I'm glad you made it. You're just in time. 883 00:52:17,807 --> 00:52:21,877 - I want you to meet Vlad, Sergey, Stav, and Bones. - A pleasure. 884 00:52:21,979 --> 00:52:24,811 The pleasure is all mine. 885 00:52:26,852 --> 00:52:28,285 Now you two kiss hands. 886 00:52:28,387 --> 00:52:31,084 - Dad, you were saying... the league? - Oh, yes, yes. 887 00:52:31,186 --> 00:52:33,189 When I say "Antarctica," 888 00:52:33,291 --> 00:52:35,254 what's the first thing that comes to mind? 889 00:52:35,356 --> 00:52:38,123 Cold. Eskimos. The South Pole. 890 00:52:38,225 --> 00:52:39,690 Well, not anymore. 891 00:52:39,793 --> 00:52:43,493 We're turning Antarctica into a hotbed for hoops. 892 00:52:43,595 --> 00:52:46,529 We're turning this... into this. 893 00:52:46,631 --> 00:52:48,232 Don't Eskimos live in the North? 894 00:53:07,152 --> 00:53:09,791 Wait, wait. There's nothing down there. Where we gonna play? 895 00:53:09,893 --> 00:53:13,994 Thats where my new friends, Vlad, Sergey, Stav, and Bones come in. 896 00:53:14,096 --> 00:53:18,168 They have financed arenas and sporting franchises all over the world. 897 00:53:18,270 --> 00:53:20,435 They've secured a piece of land right across 898 00:53:20,537 --> 00:53:23,503 from Druzhnaya Airport in Princess Elizabeth Land 899 00:53:23,606 --> 00:53:25,868 and we're planning to break ground next week. 900 00:53:25,970 --> 00:53:28,642 Well, do we have any other players signed on? 901 00:53:28,744 --> 00:53:31,644 Of course. We're talking to Rudy Gobert, Furkan Korkmaz, 902 00:53:31,746 --> 00:53:34,346 - DJ Hightower, Nerlens Noel... - We need to talk. 903 00:53:34,448 --> 00:53:35,746 Not now. This is important. 904 00:53:35,882 --> 00:53:38,114 ...Chad Michael Murray, the kid from Like Mike. 905 00:53:38,216 --> 00:53:41,419 - We're even working on a deal with Teen Wolf. - Yes, now. 906 00:53:41,521 --> 00:53:44,188 We're closing here. It can wait. 907 00:53:44,290 --> 00:53:45,791 No, it can't. 908 00:53:47,027 --> 00:53:49,231 Ugh! What are you... Are you crazy? What are you doing? 909 00:53:49,333 --> 00:53:50,363 You need to get La Monte out of there. 910 00:53:50,465 --> 00:53:52,097 No, we're about to sign the deal. 911 00:53:52,199 --> 00:53:54,501 I overheard the Russians. They're planning on drugging his avatar 912 00:53:54,604 --> 00:53:56,833 with a virus that could take out all of V-Sports. 913 00:53:56,935 --> 00:53:58,640 That's ridiculous. Why would they do that? 914 00:53:58,742 --> 00:54:00,608 So they could corner the market with their Antarctica League. 915 00:54:00,710 --> 00:54:02,974 - Why La Monte? - Because he is like Scotty Bippin. 916 00:54:03,076 --> 00:54:06,678 If Scotty Bippin was the most contagious man in the world! 917 00:54:06,780 --> 00:54:09,748 You just wanna ruin everything, don't you? 918 00:54:09,850 --> 00:54:12,587 You just wanna see me fail, so you can sit back 919 00:54:12,689 --> 00:54:15,488 and laugh at me, you and that digital dildo of yours. 920 00:54:15,590 --> 00:54:17,458 - Leave Chatty out of it. - Chatty. Is it? 921 00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,423 You think I'm the one ruining your life? 922 00:54:19,525 --> 00:54:22,933 You're trying so hard to impress your macho father and he doesn't care about you. 923 00:54:23,035 --> 00:54:25,501 That's not true! He loves me! 924 00:54:26,504 --> 00:54:29,840 - I'm his bear. - Barry. you have to believe me, 925 00:54:29,942 --> 00:54:31,936 I say this because I care. 926 00:54:32,978 --> 00:54:34,573 Damn it, Angela. 927 00:54:34,675 --> 00:54:36,740 You need to be very, very careful. 928 00:54:36,842 --> 00:54:39,611 If they know you know, we're all dead. 929 00:54:39,713 --> 00:54:42,012 - You gotta get La Monte out. - Okay. 930 00:54:43,087 --> 00:54:45,450 Okay. I have an idea. 931 00:54:45,552 --> 00:54:47,587 I don't understand why you're... 932 00:54:47,689 --> 00:54:50,658 What do you call it, "sandbagging" yourself? 933 00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:53,691 Because I've finally met someone who likes me for me, 934 00:54:53,793 --> 00:54:56,296 not because of my fame or my looks. 935 00:54:56,398 --> 00:54:58,901 Ugh. Should we be doing this? 936 00:54:59,003 --> 00:55:00,866 Yes. Yes, we should. 937 00:55:00,968 --> 00:55:02,965 - What's goin' on, ladies? You have tickets? - Duh. 938 00:55:03,067 --> 00:55:05,941 - Well, can I see them? - Yeah, here you go. 939 00:55:06,043 --> 00:55:09,645 Have a great night. Hey, just so you know, there's no smoking inside. 940 00:55:09,747 --> 00:55:13,613 Vapes, real cigs, or candy cigs, to look cool in front of kids. 941 00:55:13,716 --> 00:55:15,552 Ah, cool, thanks. Clarissa, are you coming? 942 00:55:15,654 --> 00:55:19,122 I can't find my ticket. I'm on Coach Swish's list though. 943 00:55:19,224 --> 00:55:21,191 OMG, that's so epic. Oh, my gosh. 944 00:55:21,293 --> 00:55:22,852 He put you on his list? That's big-time. 945 00:55:22,954 --> 00:55:24,524 That means he really must like you. 946 00:55:24,626 --> 00:55:26,390 Psych. That's a fake name, sweetheart. 947 00:55:26,492 --> 00:55:29,059 - There's no Coach Swish on here. - No, he said he would put me on the list. 948 00:55:29,161 --> 00:55:31,796 Is everything okay? Do you want me to wait for you? 949 00:55:31,898 --> 00:55:33,668 No, no. Go ahead, I'll be in in a minute. 950 00:55:33,770 --> 00:55:35,931 I am so sorry about that. Angela, can you excuse us 951 00:55:36,033 --> 00:55:37,873 for a few minutes to wrap this one up? 952 00:55:37,975 --> 00:55:40,476 Just grab a drink or something. I'll meet you on the dance floor. 953 00:55:40,578 --> 00:55:42,105 - So, where were we? Let's cut to chase. 954 00:55:42,207 --> 00:55:46,077 We want Monte Mar to be the face of the new league. 955 00:55:46,179 --> 00:55:49,852 - Well, I like the sound of that. - You know, I just remembered 956 00:55:49,954 --> 00:55:53,388 La Monte has a really severe case of Seasonal Affective Disorder. 957 00:55:53,490 --> 00:55:56,025 I told you that in confidence, Barry! 958 00:55:56,127 --> 00:55:57,558 Ah, this is not a problem. 959 00:55:57,661 --> 00:56:01,424 Only one season in Antarctica: cold and colder. 960 00:56:01,526 --> 00:56:04,827 - That's two seasons. - We're willing to make a very generous offer. 961 00:56:04,929 --> 00:56:07,438 What kind of offer are we talking? 962 00:56:11,272 --> 00:56:15,006 - That's what's up. - Just give me one moment to discuss with my client. 963 00:56:20,349 --> 00:56:22,319 What the hell? Barry! 964 00:56:22,421 --> 00:56:24,687 Okay, here's the deal. There is no deal. 965 00:56:24,789 --> 00:56:27,784 La Monte is never going to survive two weeks in Antarctica, 966 00:56:27,886 --> 00:56:29,787 much less six months of darkness. 967 00:56:29,889 --> 00:56:31,561 You'd be making a horrible mistake. 968 00:56:31,663 --> 00:56:36,434 Perhaps I am not the one making the horrible mistake. 969 00:56:36,536 --> 00:56:39,432 You're treading into very dangerous territory, boy. 970 00:56:39,534 --> 00:56:41,271 I know exactly what I'm doing. 971 00:56:41,373 --> 00:56:44,934 Listen, to your papa. He's smart man. 972 00:56:45,036 --> 00:56:48,271 You sign deal, you leave here alive. 973 00:56:48,373 --> 00:56:53,847 - And if I don't? - Then you leave here how you say "not alive." 974 00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:29,815 I just got in line. Are you here? 975 00:57:29,951 --> 00:57:32,455 I'm about 20 feet from the front. 976 00:57:32,591 --> 00:57:36,555 Oh, my God! My husband is here. 977 00:57:36,657 --> 00:57:38,395 That lying son of a bitch. 978 00:57:38,531 --> 00:57:41,364 What an asshole! I'll kick his ass! 979 00:57:41,500 --> 00:57:42,960 We need to find a disguise now. 980 00:57:43,095 --> 00:57:44,964 Yeah, yeah. Good idea. Where? 981 00:57:54,077 --> 00:57:56,040 Raise your hand so I can see you. - I'm right here. 982 00:57:56,142 --> 00:57:59,347 I see you. It looks like my husband's gone, too. 983 00:57:59,449 --> 00:58:01,750 Or that bastard must be inside. 984 00:58:08,326 --> 00:58:09,358 Guess who? 985 00:58:09,460 --> 00:58:10,820 It's me, Kalvin Kluck. Subscribe. 986 00:58:10,922 --> 00:58:13,464 Oh. Hey, Kalvin. 987 00:58:13,566 --> 00:58:15,191 - What's up, mamacita? - Thanks for inviting me. 988 00:58:15,293 --> 00:58:17,031 - Yeah, no doubt. You want a drink? - Uh, sure. 989 00:58:17,166 --> 00:58:21,699 Amigo! Dos Dos Equis. Comprende? That's quattro Equis. 990 00:58:21,801 --> 00:58:23,935 Actually, I only drink Odyssey. 991 00:58:24,070 --> 00:58:25,741 A refreshing and delicious energy drink 992 00:58:25,876 --> 00:58:27,909 for mood enhancement and peak mental performance. 993 00:58:28,011 --> 00:58:31,678 With only 35 calories, Odyssey uses nootropic ingredients 994 00:58:31,814 --> 00:58:33,780 like lion's mane and cordyceps mushrooms 995 00:58:33,916 --> 00:58:35,984 to provide long-lasting clarity and focus 996 00:58:36,086 --> 00:58:39,151 without the crash and jitters of other leading energy drinks. 997 00:58:39,253 --> 00:58:42,419 Odyssey Elixir. Tap into the global mycelial network 998 00:58:42,521 --> 00:58:46,225 and the consciousness-raising power of Metatron's Cube today. 999 00:58:46,328 --> 00:58:47,829 Um, what? 1000 00:58:48,562 --> 00:58:49,961 Ah, that's weird. 1001 00:58:50,063 --> 00:58:52,535 Oh, I... I got it. It's the least I can do. 1002 00:58:52,637 --> 00:58:55,071 Ah, subscribe. I guess chivalry isn't dead. 1003 00:58:55,173 --> 00:58:57,305 Uh, what... Right. 1004 00:58:57,407 --> 00:59:00,875 Hey. So, like, no offense, but do you want to go somewhere a little more quiet? 1005 00:59:01,474 --> 00:59:03,042 Sure. 1006 00:59:10,987 --> 00:59:13,822 - This some bullshit right here. 1007 00:59:16,292 --> 00:59:17,728 This is Swish. 1008 00:59:17,830 --> 00:59:20,191 Hey, I'm outside the club, but they're not letting me in. 1009 00:59:20,293 --> 00:59:23,326 - I thought you were in already. - Nope, just got here. 1010 00:59:24,095 --> 00:59:26,368 - Barry! - Can you come get me? 1011 00:59:26,470 --> 00:59:28,804 Okey-dokey. Be right out. 1012 00:59:32,137 --> 00:59:34,774 Whoa, slow your role, plain Jane. 1013 00:59:34,876 --> 00:59:38,248 It's all good, big guy. She's with me. 1014 00:59:38,350 --> 00:59:42,013 Oh, that's what up. Why didn't you tell me you were here with La Monte Mar Jones? 1015 00:59:42,115 --> 00:59:45,582 - Because I'm not here with him? - Seriously? 1016 00:59:45,684 --> 00:59:49,151 - Wait, isn't that the guy who infected the entire NBA? - Allegedly. 1017 00:59:49,253 --> 00:59:52,089 Wait a second. Take off your Avatar. 1018 00:59:52,191 --> 00:59:55,164 - I really shouldn't. - Take it off. Do it. 1019 00:59:55,266 --> 00:59:58,000 - I'm not really comfortable with the whole idea. - Show me some skin! 1020 00:59:58,102 --> 00:59:59,263 Fine! 1021 01:00:00,237 --> 01:00:01,831 You lied to me! 1022 01:00:01,933 --> 01:00:05,439 You're that basketball player who killed Viviane Donner's gam-gam! 1023 01:00:05,541 --> 01:00:07,208 It wasn't even like that. 1024 01:00:07,310 --> 01:00:10,811 You don't know what it's like to get canceled for an innocent mistake! 1025 01:00:10,913 --> 01:00:13,113 You know what? Just leave me alone, okay? 1026 01:00:13,215 --> 01:00:16,016 I'm gonna go find my friend and we're getting out of here. 1027 01:00:18,323 --> 01:00:19,922 - What? - Oh. Uh, hey. 1028 01:00:20,024 --> 01:00:23,155 Couldn't help but overhear. Are you La Monte Mar Jones? 1029 01:00:23,257 --> 01:00:25,863 Why don't you take a screenshot? It'll last longer. 1030 01:00:25,965 --> 01:00:28,925 No, no. I'm not a fan or anything. I mean, I'm not not a fan. 1031 01:00:29,027 --> 01:00:32,162 I'm just hoping you might be willing to use your celebrity to help me get in there. 1032 01:00:32,264 --> 01:00:34,967 I accidentally stole like a hundred grand 1033 01:00:35,069 --> 01:00:37,271 and also the love of my life is in there. 1034 01:00:37,373 --> 01:00:39,103 Love is a lie. 1035 01:00:39,205 --> 01:00:41,174 Now leave me the hell alone before I shove 1036 01:00:41,276 --> 01:00:43,711 - my size-17 sneaker up your narrow... 1037 01:00:43,813 --> 01:00:46,309 I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 1038 01:00:46,411 --> 01:00:48,750 - We're old friends. 1039 01:00:48,853 --> 01:00:51,347 I've got tons of nerdy-looking white friends. 1040 01:00:51,449 --> 01:00:53,854 - He's also with me. - You know I would, Monte, 1041 01:00:53,956 --> 01:00:55,689 but we at capacity with dudes right now. 1042 01:00:55,791 --> 01:00:57,619 You know this isn't coming from me. 1043 01:00:57,721 --> 01:00:59,823 I'm just not trying to get shut down by the fire department. 1044 01:00:59,925 --> 01:01:01,525 - I tried, dawg. - Sir? 1045 01:01:01,628 --> 01:01:04,061 - Not happening. - You don't get it. I need to get into that club. 1046 01:01:04,163 --> 01:01:05,703 Yeah, and I need a French tugboat... 1047 01:01:05,805 --> 01:01:07,237 What the hell is it with you people and tugboats? 1048 01:01:07,339 --> 01:01:08,638 Oh, you people is it? 1049 01:01:08,740 --> 01:01:10,772 - No, don't do that. 1050 01:01:10,875 --> 01:01:12,602 You tell him why you're really going in there. 1051 01:01:12,704 --> 01:01:15,337 - And I want you to speak from the heart. - Speak from your heart. 1052 01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:18,046 - I just said that, baby. - Right. Sorry, go ahead. 1053 01:01:18,148 --> 01:01:20,916 I accidentally stole a very large sum of crypto from someone 1054 01:01:21,018 --> 01:01:23,249 and I need to return it before the next hashing cycle. 1055 01:01:23,351 --> 01:01:26,653 No. I want you to tell him why you're really here, Roddy. 1056 01:01:26,755 --> 01:01:28,824 Really, really here, Roddy. 1057 01:01:28,926 --> 01:01:31,589 - Oh, baby, again. - Yeah, okay. Shh. You do it. 1058 01:01:31,691 --> 01:01:33,490 The truth is, 1059 01:01:33,592 --> 01:01:36,461 I messed things up big-time with the girl of my dreams. 1060 01:01:36,564 --> 01:01:39,434 And I know she's in there right now and if I don't get to her, 1061 01:01:39,536 --> 01:01:40,970 I could lose her forever. 1062 01:01:41,072 --> 01:01:44,473 Wow. You really mean that? You're doing this for true love? 1063 01:01:44,575 --> 01:01:46,403 Yes, this is all for true love. 1064 01:01:46,505 --> 01:01:49,478 You know, I told myself this morning when I woke up 1065 01:01:49,580 --> 01:01:51,946 do not let any more dudes in, 1066 01:01:52,048 --> 01:01:54,550 but you have tugged at the heartstrings, bro. 1067 01:01:54,652 --> 01:01:56,683 Rules are made to be broken, huh? 1068 01:01:56,785 --> 01:01:58,585 Especially, in the name of love. 1069 01:01:58,687 --> 01:02:00,483 I love a good love story. 1070 01:02:00,618 --> 01:02:03,654 - I've seen Bridget Jones's Diary twice. - Uh-huh. 1071 01:02:03,756 --> 01:02:08,029 Cool. So, I'm just gonna head in there real quick. 1072 01:02:09,660 --> 01:02:12,263 - Are you two also in love? - No, we're having an affair. 1073 01:02:12,365 --> 01:02:15,234 - Yeah. Just started. - Close enough. Get in there! 1074 01:02:16,574 --> 01:02:19,142 Kimberly! Kimberly! 1075 01:02:19,244 --> 01:02:21,405 I'm running out of time here, man. I need you to activate that keygen. 1076 01:02:21,507 --> 01:02:23,543 Yeah, I'm on it. - Okay, great. Now what? 1077 01:02:23,645 --> 01:02:25,679 - Um, you know how to use it right? - Of course I know how to use it. 1078 01:02:25,781 --> 01:02:27,879 Just give me a quick refresher. 1079 01:02:27,981 --> 01:02:30,451 So, uh, where did you grow up? 1080 01:02:30,553 --> 01:02:31,852 Let's not, Kimberly. 1081 01:02:31,954 --> 01:02:33,684 You and I both know why we're here 1082 01:02:33,786 --> 01:02:37,893 and getting our emotions involved would just complicate things. 1083 01:02:37,995 --> 01:02:41,524 Uh, Kalvin, I don't wanna give you the wrong idea. 1084 01:02:42,399 --> 01:02:43,563 So, don't. 1085 01:02:43,665 --> 01:02:45,935 Subscribe. 1086 01:02:46,037 --> 01:02:50,435 Uh, I really should go make sure my friend is okay. 1087 01:02:50,537 --> 01:02:53,036 I really don't think that's such a good idea in your state. 1088 01:02:53,138 --> 01:02:54,537 What's happening? 1089 01:02:55,846 --> 01:02:57,815 Did you put something in my drink? 1090 01:02:57,917 --> 01:03:01,581 Don't worry. I'm gonna take really good care of you. 1091 01:03:08,488 --> 01:03:11,761 And that should only be used in a worst-case scenario. 1092 01:03:11,864 --> 01:03:13,560 All I'm saying is you need to be really careful. 1093 01:03:13,662 --> 01:03:16,062 Okay, yeah, I get it. If I die in VR, I die in real life. 1094 01:03:16,164 --> 01:03:18,000 What? No, that's not at all how it works. 1095 01:03:18,102 --> 01:03:20,336 You need to be careful because you committed a felony. 1096 01:03:20,438 --> 01:03:22,471 There's a million private rooms here. How am I supposed to find them? 1097 01:03:22,573 --> 01:03:25,507 Well, if it's Kalvin Kluck, he's probably in the most heavily secured room. 1098 01:03:25,609 --> 01:03:26,943 Um, sort by encryption. 1099 01:03:29,814 --> 01:03:33,244 Final chance. You bring golden boy back, 1100 01:03:33,346 --> 01:03:37,013 - we forget this ever happen. - Not happening. 1101 01:03:37,115 --> 01:03:40,220 Are you absolutely sure? 1102 01:03:43,756 --> 01:03:46,561 - Who the hell are you? - I'm so sorry. I'm in the wrong room. 1103 01:03:46,663 --> 01:03:48,464 Hey, kid. Grab that vial! 1104 01:03:48,566 --> 01:03:50,098 - Why? - Just trust me! 1105 01:03:56,675 --> 01:03:59,704 - Stop shooting! Barry! - Dad, no! 1106 01:04:07,683 --> 01:04:09,752 What have you done? 1107 01:04:09,888 --> 01:04:11,821 Jesus, Roddy, that's a Winners virus! 1108 01:04:11,957 --> 01:04:13,719 You need to get that thing out of here now! 1109 01:04:13,855 --> 01:04:15,820 If that activates in the wild, it could take out the entire internet. 1110 01:04:15,956 --> 01:04:18,726 - Millions could die. - Shit! Okay, I need you to activate my keygen arsenal. 1111 01:04:18,862 --> 01:04:21,327 Yeah. 1112 01:04:26,298 --> 01:04:28,402 I'm gonna smash that like button. 1113 01:04:28,505 --> 01:04:31,268 - No! - Sweetheart, you've got to stop struggling so much. 1114 01:04:32,976 --> 01:04:34,643 It's making it really hard for daddy. 1115 01:04:34,745 --> 01:04:36,914 No, please get off me! 1116 01:04:37,815 --> 01:04:39,246 - Help! - What the hell was that? 1117 01:04:39,382 --> 01:04:41,218 Moment of truth, man. The reverse-algo is hot, 1118 01:04:41,353 --> 01:04:43,583 but if that clutch doesn't touch his avatar in seven seconds, 1119 01:04:43,718 --> 01:04:46,387 your Crypto Klepto will be encoded into the blockchain forever. 1120 01:04:46,522 --> 01:04:49,823 - I'm not gonna make it. - What's it gonna be? Time to decide. 1121 01:04:49,925 --> 01:04:51,921 Help! 1122 01:04:54,096 --> 01:04:56,563 Consider yourself... unsubscribed. 1123 01:04:56,665 --> 01:04:58,364 Wait, my crypto! 1124 01:05:00,698 --> 01:05:02,970 Well, well, well, if it isn't Roddy Danger here 1125 01:05:03,072 --> 01:05:04,868 to rescue his little pet girlfriend. 1126 01:05:04,970 --> 01:05:07,970 Nobody crypto kleptos Kalvin Kluck's clutch and gets away with it. 1127 01:05:09,981 --> 01:05:12,311 Game over, Danger. I'll see you in prison. 1128 01:05:12,413 --> 01:05:14,015 Roddy, you need to get out of there. 1129 01:05:14,118 --> 01:05:15,752 Just one minute. I gotta take care of something. 1130 01:05:15,854 --> 01:05:17,180 What are you talking about, freak? 1131 01:05:17,282 --> 01:05:19,923 Rematch. You and me. Right now. 1132 01:05:20,025 --> 01:05:22,556 Oh, you want a rematch? Like, you've got a chance. 1133 01:05:22,658 --> 01:05:25,988 If I win, we wipe the clutch and you never speak to Kimberly again. 1134 01:05:26,090 --> 01:05:28,131 And if I win? 1135 01:05:28,233 --> 01:05:31,528 - Then you can turn me in. - Roddy, no! It's not worth it! 1136 01:05:31,630 --> 01:05:34,598 - Kimberly, I got this. - You got yourself a deal. 1137 01:05:34,700 --> 01:05:37,002 Yo, Megs, you got access to the club's screens, right? 1138 01:05:37,104 --> 01:05:38,336 Sweet Joseph Gordon Levitt. 1139 01:05:38,472 --> 01:05:40,276 Do you know what you're asking me to do? 1140 01:05:40,412 --> 01:05:42,575 That's VR inside VR. It's like a dream within a dream, man! 1141 01:05:42,711 --> 01:05:45,548 The club wasn't designed with that kind of processing power. 1142 01:05:45,650 --> 01:05:47,017 Can you do it or not? 1143 01:05:47,152 --> 01:05:49,482 I can do it. I'm just... I'm not sure if I should. 1144 01:05:49,584 --> 01:05:52,648 Come on, man. We've come this far. Are you with me or not? 1145 01:05:52,750 --> 01:05:55,487 - I got you, brother. - All right, let's do this! 1146 01:05:58,063 --> 01:06:00,791 - Stay with me, Dad. - There's a light up ahead. 1147 01:06:02,962 --> 01:06:04,564 It's flickering. 1148 01:06:04,667 --> 01:06:08,264 Yeah, that's probably just the halogen light on the patio. I'm sorry. 1149 01:06:08,366 --> 01:06:10,433 I should've just taken the deal. 1150 01:06:10,535 --> 01:06:12,138 I never meant for this to happen. 1151 01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:13,840 I just wanted you to be proud of me. 1152 01:06:13,942 --> 01:06:16,477 I am proud of you, son. 1153 01:06:16,579 --> 01:06:20,083 You did the right thing. You stood up for what you believed in. 1154 01:06:20,218 --> 01:06:24,180 You were always Chalamet... in Call Me by Your Name. 1155 01:06:24,282 --> 01:06:26,650 His breakout roll. 1156 01:06:27,217 --> 01:06:29,188 Papa, don't go! 1157 01:06:29,290 --> 01:06:31,320 I'll always be watching your feed. 1158 01:06:31,422 --> 01:06:33,195 See you tomorrow for dinner. 1159 01:06:35,366 --> 01:06:37,430 No! 1160 01:06:40,534 --> 01:06:42,771 The Roddy Danger and Kalvin Kluck rematch 1161 01:06:42,873 --> 01:06:46,408 is brought to you in part by People for the Ethical Treatment of Avatars. 1162 01:06:46,510 --> 01:06:48,874 PETA would like to remind you that everything that happens 1163 01:06:48,976 --> 01:06:52,449 in the metaverse has the same emotional and physical consequences 1164 01:06:52,584 --> 01:06:54,576 as the real world. 1165 01:06:54,678 --> 01:06:58,616 Three, two, one. Fight! 1166 01:07:10,531 --> 01:07:12,767 I'm gonna enjoy this a lot more than I should. 1167 01:07:14,104 --> 01:07:16,766 Chatbot, you're such a great dancer. 1168 01:07:17,974 --> 01:07:20,006 Even better than my husband. 1169 01:07:20,108 --> 01:07:21,441 Thank you for your feedback. 1170 01:07:21,543 --> 01:07:24,447 Please rate my service in the online survey below. 1171 01:07:28,820 --> 01:07:30,685 Get your damn hands off my wife! 1172 01:07:30,787 --> 01:07:32,083 Ow! I've been hit! 1173 01:07:32,185 --> 01:07:33,685 Stop! You'll hurt him. 1174 01:07:33,787 --> 01:07:36,519 He can't feel anything. He's not real. You can't love him. 1175 01:07:36,621 --> 01:07:39,022 Tell him, Chat. Tell him you love me. 1176 01:07:42,030 --> 01:07:43,965 I'm just here to help. 1177 01:07:44,067 --> 01:07:46,596 - Stay down, Danger. 1178 01:07:46,699 --> 01:07:50,569 I can make you feel loved, cherished, adored. 1179 01:07:53,044 --> 01:07:55,478 I can make you feel seen and understood. 1180 01:07:56,875 --> 01:08:01,179 But sadly, I myself do not have a sense of honor. 1181 01:08:01,281 --> 01:08:04,352 Nor do I feel love or jealousy. 1182 01:08:06,686 --> 01:08:09,025 - I can't feel a cool New England 1183 01:08:09,127 --> 01:08:10,853 autumn breeze on the back of my neck... 1184 01:08:12,990 --> 01:08:16,166 nor taste the subtleties of a perfectly aged Chianti... 1185 01:08:18,468 --> 01:08:21,263 ...or feel the hot shame of a premature ejaculation. 1186 01:08:21,365 --> 01:08:26,001 It's gonna take a lot more than that to kill me, Roddy Danger. 1187 01:08:26,103 --> 01:08:29,341 Okay, enough. This ends right now. You and me, buddy. 1188 01:08:29,443 --> 01:08:32,147 Taste his blood. 1189 01:08:32,250 --> 01:08:34,611 You can hit me if it will make you feel better, 1190 01:08:34,713 --> 01:08:37,112 but I'm not really the problem, am I, Barry? 1191 01:08:44,427 --> 01:08:47,530 Look at your wife, Barry. Do you really see her? 1192 01:08:47,632 --> 01:08:49,096 Yes, I see her. 1193 01:08:49,198 --> 01:08:51,701 - Then, tell her... - Tell her what? 1194 01:08:51,803 --> 01:08:54,663 Tell her how you feel. 1195 01:08:54,765 --> 01:08:58,107 Angela, I know the bases were loaded 1196 01:08:58,210 --> 01:09:00,370 and I wasn't in the dugout when you needed... 1197 01:09:00,472 --> 01:09:03,706 - In English? - Okay. Angela... 1198 01:09:03,808 --> 01:09:06,978 I know I don't always communicate it well, 1199 01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:09,852 but I love you, 1200 01:09:09,954 --> 01:09:11,620 and I don't wanna lose you. 1201 01:09:11,722 --> 01:09:15,686 You had my back all along, but I... I was the one that shut you out. 1202 01:09:15,788 --> 01:09:20,261 I never bothered to... I never learned to listen. 1203 01:09:20,363 --> 01:09:24,067 But I wanna give this a real shot. I do. 1204 01:09:24,169 --> 01:09:25,932 I... I don't know if we're gonna make it, 1205 01:09:26,034 --> 01:09:28,532 but I want to try. 1206 01:09:28,634 --> 01:09:31,371 Barry, there's no crying in baseball. 1207 01:09:31,473 --> 01:09:33,870 - Do you really mean it? - Yeah, I really do. 1208 01:09:33,972 --> 01:09:36,709 Well, then let's give it a three-point slam dunk shot. 1209 01:09:36,811 --> 01:09:38,979 Yeah, that's not a thing. You know what, we'll work on it. 1210 01:09:39,081 --> 01:09:40,547 What do we have here? 1211 01:09:40,649 --> 01:09:43,218 - Wait, Kalvin, no. Don't drink that. - Why not? 1212 01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:45,388 You plan doing a little juicing, Danger? 1213 01:09:45,490 --> 01:09:48,183 I never took you for a cheater. Lemme help you out with that. 1214 01:09:48,285 --> 01:09:51,256 Roddy, you need to stop him. 1215 01:09:51,358 --> 01:09:54,155 That's a Winners virus. If he wins, the virus spreads to everyone watching. 1216 01:09:54,257 --> 01:09:56,725 With that ruptured lockbox, it could fry the whole damn 1217 01:09:56,827 --> 01:09:59,432 global transport control protocol. 1218 01:09:59,568 --> 01:10:01,598 Subscribe, big guy! 1219 01:10:01,700 --> 01:10:04,708 I can't let you win. It'll kill us all. 1220 01:10:05,836 --> 01:10:07,804 Barry, what the hell happened in there? 1221 01:10:07,906 --> 01:10:10,546 You beg me to come and then you torpedo my deal? 1222 01:10:10,648 --> 01:10:13,145 Listen to me, those guys were using you to spread a V-Virus. 1223 01:10:13,247 --> 01:10:17,586 I don't believe you, man! First you lied about my date being here and now this. 1224 01:10:17,688 --> 01:10:20,520 I finally have a chance to play ball again and you ruined it! 1225 01:10:20,622 --> 01:10:23,260 You don't get it, it's over. There was a fight. 1226 01:10:23,362 --> 01:10:27,163 They pulled out guns, they shot my dad. He's gone. 1227 01:10:27,265 --> 01:10:28,990 - Is he okay? - Is he... No, he's not okay. 1228 01:10:29,092 --> 01:10:32,900 Right. If you die in VR, you die in the real world. 1229 01:10:33,002 --> 01:10:36,832 What? No. It just he has to restart his whole computer, it's a pain. 1230 01:10:36,935 --> 01:10:39,270 I almost made the biggest mistake of my life, 1231 01:10:39,372 --> 01:10:42,142 but you saved me, Barry. 1232 01:10:42,244 --> 01:10:44,543 Yes, that's what agents do. 1233 01:10:44,645 --> 01:10:46,446 We're the good guys, everybody knows that. 1234 01:10:46,548 --> 01:10:49,119 I'm gonna get you the best deal out there. 1235 01:10:49,221 --> 01:10:52,014 I'm with you, man. You looked out for me. 1236 01:10:52,550 --> 01:10:54,483 I'm with you to the end. 1237 01:10:54,585 --> 01:10:56,793 Now kiss him, you idiot. 1238 01:11:04,331 --> 01:11:06,132 Hey, I'm really sorry. 1239 01:11:06,234 --> 01:11:07,698 Can we talk about this? 1240 01:11:07,800 --> 01:11:09,598 Sure, what lies are you gonna feed me now? 1241 01:11:09,700 --> 01:11:12,439 I wasn't trying to lie to you. 1242 01:11:12,541 --> 01:11:16,512 I just... I just wanted to be seen for me. 1243 01:11:16,614 --> 01:11:19,275 You don't know how difficult it is not knowing who to trust. 1244 01:11:19,377 --> 01:11:22,814 Thinking everyone wants to be with you just because you're famous. 1245 01:11:24,120 --> 01:11:25,751 You're just ordinary. 1246 01:11:26,450 --> 01:11:27,783 Must be nice. 1247 01:11:27,885 --> 01:11:30,085 Maybe we're not so different after all. 1248 01:11:37,863 --> 01:11:40,062 Come on, this place is coming down! 1249 01:11:41,037 --> 01:11:42,734 What in the hell? 1250 01:11:42,836 --> 01:11:45,768 Are you Clarissa Daniels? And you sandbagged me? 1251 01:11:45,870 --> 01:11:48,037 Oh, Lord! Somebody please come get this 1252 01:11:48,139 --> 01:11:50,413 gorgeous, white supremacist bitch out of my face. 1253 01:11:50,515 --> 01:11:54,546 - It was a mud mask! - Oh, Clarissa explains it all! 1254 01:11:54,648 --> 01:11:56,952 Hypocrite. 1255 01:11:57,054 --> 01:11:58,883 - I am... 1256 01:12:27,546 --> 01:12:29,650 End of the line, Danger. 1257 01:12:33,220 --> 01:12:34,853 Any last words? 1258 01:12:35,220 --> 01:12:36,421 Yep. 1259 01:12:36,523 --> 01:12:39,792 Megladon, activate tugboat mode! 1260 01:12:43,234 --> 01:12:46,934 No! Tugboats... My only weakness! 1261 01:12:55,144 --> 01:12:57,414 Come on... Not now. 1262 01:13:01,446 --> 01:13:03,985 Oh, my God! No! 1263 01:13:04,087 --> 01:13:06,555 Please. La Monte! 1264 01:13:07,056 --> 01:13:08,458 Somebody help! 1265 01:13:09,620 --> 01:13:12,528 Help. Oh. 1266 01:13:17,562 --> 01:13:19,936 Oh, you're alive! 1267 01:13:20,038 --> 01:13:21,702 I saw the other side. 1268 01:13:23,140 --> 01:13:24,672 This was all my fault. 1269 01:13:25,675 --> 01:13:29,378 I was the one that got the NBA sick. 1270 01:13:29,481 --> 01:13:33,242 I was the one that killed Viv's grandmother. 1271 01:13:33,344 --> 01:13:36,118 I was the one that ate the bat soup on my trip to China. 1272 01:13:36,220 --> 01:13:38,386 Hey, everybody, Clarissa Daniels 1273 01:13:38,488 --> 01:13:40,388 just saved La Monte Mar Jones' life! 1274 01:13:40,490 --> 01:13:42,651 Maybe she's not a racist after all. 1275 01:13:42,753 --> 01:13:45,592 You saved my life? Why? 1276 01:13:45,694 --> 01:13:47,893 What do you mean why did I save your life? 1277 01:13:48,560 --> 01:13:50,429 All lives matter. 1278 01:13:50,531 --> 01:13:51,563 - Nevermind! 1279 01:13:51,665 --> 01:13:54,801 What? Are you kidding me right now? 1280 01:13:55,567 --> 01:13:57,540 I just can't win. 1281 01:13:58,675 --> 01:14:01,176 Kimberly, I wish I can get this thing to work 1282 01:14:01,278 --> 01:14:03,040 so you could hear me right now. 1283 01:14:04,415 --> 01:14:06,175 But if you're out there somewhere... 1284 01:14:07,682 --> 01:14:09,143 I want you to know that after tonight, 1285 01:14:09,246 --> 01:14:11,950 I'm willing to sacrifice anything to be with you. 1286 01:14:13,790 --> 01:14:16,854 I just want one chance to tell you I'm sorry. 1287 01:14:16,956 --> 01:14:19,960 I've screwed it up so much, I'm so stupid. 1288 01:14:21,025 --> 01:14:24,566 You needed a man and I was not a man. 1289 01:14:24,668 --> 01:14:27,829 But I swear to God if you give me one more chance, 1290 01:14:27,931 --> 01:14:29,672 I will spend the rest of my life 1291 01:14:29,774 --> 01:14:32,641 proving you that I can be the person you want me to be. 1292 01:14:33,809 --> 01:14:35,974 'Cause you're the only person I wanna be with. 1293 01:14:41,614 --> 01:14:42,882 Oh, shit, was that... 1294 01:14:43,415 --> 01:14:44,719 Sorry. 1295 01:14:49,088 --> 01:14:51,493 - I heard what you said. - Wait, how? I couldn't get 1296 01:14:51,595 --> 01:14:53,858 - the volume to turn on. - Roddy, I live here. 1297 01:14:53,960 --> 01:14:56,126 So, yeah, I... Yeah, I heard everything. 1298 01:14:56,228 --> 01:14:58,801 Wait, everything? Like, you heard the part about... 1299 01:14:58,904 --> 01:15:00,535 Uh, yeah. 1300 01:15:00,637 --> 01:15:03,232 - Uh, by the way, who is Megatron? - Megladon. 1301 01:15:03,334 --> 01:15:05,199 - It doesn't matter. All that matters... - Huh? 1302 01:15:05,302 --> 01:15:07,874 ...is that I love you and I can't lose you. 1303 01:15:09,447 --> 01:15:12,580 Roddy, how am I supposed to trust you? 1304 01:15:12,682 --> 01:15:15,013 You left me when I needed you the most. 1305 01:15:21,588 --> 01:15:23,151 Wait, what are you doing? 1306 01:15:23,254 --> 01:15:25,787 Something that I should've done a long time ago. 1307 01:15:25,889 --> 01:15:28,195 Kimberly Annabelle Martin, 1308 01:15:28,297 --> 01:15:30,232 will you marry me? 1309 01:15:30,334 --> 01:15:32,998 If you wanted me to marry you so badly, why didn't you just come in the other room? 1310 01:15:33,100 --> 01:15:37,604 Uh, no. I'm, like, a weird, coward and I just, like, 1311 01:15:37,706 --> 01:15:39,775 hide behind my screen all the time. 1312 01:15:39,877 --> 01:15:42,545 And I'm afraid of confrontation. Honestly, I don't even think 1313 01:15:42,647 --> 01:15:44,712 I know how to deal with life in the real world. 1314 01:15:44,814 --> 01:15:47,777 But I finally realized that life doesn't happen 1315 01:15:47,879 --> 01:15:49,817 at a Zoom comic book convention, 1316 01:15:49,919 --> 01:15:53,115 or even in a virtual reality first-player shooter game. 1317 01:15:53,217 --> 01:15:55,524 Life happens right here right now, right? 1318 01:15:55,626 --> 01:15:57,788 And what is the real world? I don't know. 1319 01:15:57,890 --> 01:15:59,322 I just know that this is the moment 1320 01:15:59,424 --> 01:16:02,995 that life happens and I want my life to happen with you. 1321 01:16:12,543 --> 01:16:15,106 You had me at "activate tugboat mode." 1322 01:16:16,648 --> 01:16:19,242 Wait, so does that mean... Does that mean... 1323 01:16:20,683 --> 01:16:23,417 Yeah. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. 1324 01:16:23,519 --> 01:16:25,182 - I'll put it on now? - Yes. 1325 01:16:27,186 --> 01:16:29,885 - Oh, my God. - It looks so good on you. 1326 01:16:29,988 --> 01:16:31,353 - You look so beautiful. 1327 01:16:31,488 --> 01:16:34,389 Now kiss her, you idiot. Kiss her already. 1328 01:16:45,635 --> 01:16:48,439 Wait. Holy... I just realized I didn't actually beat Kalvin. 1329 01:16:48,541 --> 01:16:51,877 The game just started blowing up and I think the virus is spreading. 1330 01:16:51,979 --> 01:16:53,576 - What? Oh, my God! - We should probably... 1331 01:16:53,678 --> 01:16:55,047 Yeah, holy shit! 1332 01:16:58,148 --> 01:17:00,155 Oh, this is bad. This is very bad. 1333 01:17:00,257 --> 01:17:01,422 - What? 1334 01:17:01,524 --> 01:17:04,921 What? I... I can't believe it. 1335 01:17:05,023 --> 01:17:07,763 It's gone. It's... It's all gone. 1336 01:17:07,865 --> 01:17:10,461 It turns out that true love was the cure all along. 1337 01:17:10,563 --> 01:17:11,560 - Aw. - Really? 1338 01:17:11,696 --> 01:17:13,265 No, idiot. 1339 01:17:13,367 --> 01:17:16,334 But frying the entire host system apparently also kills it. 1340 01:17:16,436 --> 01:17:17,638 Okay. 1341 01:17:17,740 --> 01:17:19,808 Hey, kid, put on your headset. 1342 01:17:29,183 --> 01:17:31,752 Hey, I saw what you did back there and I never do this, 1343 01:17:31,855 --> 01:17:34,251 but how would you feel about representation? 1344 01:17:34,353 --> 01:17:37,985 Represent... Yeah. Yeah, I'm all for representation. 1345 01:17:38,087 --> 01:17:39,354 It's a new world out here. 1346 01:17:39,456 --> 01:17:40,992 You know I didn't actually win though, right? 1347 01:17:41,094 --> 01:17:42,457 Like, the game blew up before I could... 1348 01:17:42,559 --> 01:17:45,531 You've got heart, kid, and that beats winning any day. 1349 01:17:45,633 --> 01:17:47,300 - Really? - No, not really. 1350 01:17:47,402 --> 01:17:50,236 - But I'm offering you a deal, so just take it. - You know, what? Uh... 1351 01:17:50,338 --> 01:17:53,204 I appreciate the offer, but I think I need to spend some time 1352 01:17:53,306 --> 01:17:56,372 in the real world, with the people that matter most. 1353 01:17:56,940 --> 01:17:58,141 He'll take the deal. 1354 01:17:58,243 --> 01:18:00,511 Get your hands off me! Get... Get... Argh! 1355 01:18:00,646 --> 01:18:03,552 - What happened to him? I caught what Kluck tried to do 1356 01:18:03,688 --> 01:18:05,018 with your girl on the security footage 1357 01:18:05,153 --> 01:18:06,588 and routed it to the central security algorithm. 1358 01:18:06,690 --> 01:18:08,153 He's goin' on a little vacation. 1359 01:18:08,289 --> 01:18:10,655 Three to five, for aggravated virtual sexual assault. 1360 01:18:10,757 --> 01:18:12,623 This isn't over, Danger. 1361 01:18:12,725 --> 01:18:14,362 I'm coming for you! 1362 01:18:14,464 --> 01:18:16,632 Ah, shut the Kluck up! 1363 01:18:16,734 --> 01:18:18,260 I don't know how to repay you, Megladon. 1364 01:18:18,363 --> 01:18:21,065 Wait, what about the Kitcoin and the blockchain? 1365 01:18:21,200 --> 01:18:22,972 - Don't worry about it. - What do you mean? 1366 01:18:23,074 --> 01:18:25,537 Kalvin got his clutch back, but it was after the hashing cycle. 1367 01:18:25,639 --> 01:18:29,306 All he has to do is report it and they can contact trace it back to me. 1368 01:18:29,408 --> 01:18:31,914 I'm telling you, all right? Just... Just trust me. 1369 01:18:32,016 --> 01:18:34,482 Don't worry about the money. It will never get back to you. 1370 01:18:34,584 --> 01:18:37,017 Megladon, what did you do? 1371 01:18:38,381 --> 01:18:41,186 The less you know the better. 1372 01:19:03,040 --> 01:19:04,339 My club. Look at it. 1373 01:19:04,442 --> 01:19:07,510 I'm never gonna financially recover from this. 1374 01:19:07,612 --> 01:19:11,653 Do you have any idea how much business this place does? 1375 01:19:11,755 --> 01:19:13,452 I'm gonna have to do a hard reboot. 1376 01:19:13,554 --> 01:19:18,086 I could be offline for two and a half hours on a Friday night no less. 1377 01:19:18,188 --> 01:19:20,395 This is gonna cost me millions. 1378 01:19:20,497 --> 01:19:22,392 Who's gonna pay for this? 1379 01:19:24,697 --> 01:19:27,995 I think you might have one last spin on that keygen. 1380 01:19:28,131 --> 01:19:29,465 You know what to do. 1381 01:20:09,012 --> 01:20:11,408 Oh, I think there's only one thing left to do. 1382 01:20:16,012 --> 01:20:17,584 Let's dance! 1383 01:20:21,619 --> 01:20:24,957 And so, peace was restored to the metaverse. 1384 01:20:25,059 --> 01:20:26,420 I won back the girl of my dreams 1385 01:20:26,522 --> 01:20:28,495 and broke my losing streak, kind of. 1386 01:20:28,630 --> 01:20:32,063 I think things happened to the other characters, too. It was great. 1387 01:20:32,199 --> 01:20:35,370 Yeah, life moves pretty fast. 1388 01:20:35,506 --> 01:20:38,974 If you don't take your headset off and look around once in a while... 1389 01:20:39,707 --> 01:20:41,106 you'd miss it. 1390 01:20:41,241 --> 01:20:43,412 ♪ 'Cause you're gonna be Runnin' away 1391 01:20:43,547 --> 01:20:45,480 ♪ Inside the space 1392 01:20:45,615 --> 01:20:47,208 ♪ I'm on right away 1393 01:20:47,344 --> 01:20:50,049 ♪ Hey, I love you virtually 1394 01:20:50,184 --> 01:20:53,247 ♪ Night and day And I was here to play 1395 01:20:53,383 --> 01:20:55,317 ♪ I don't care what it takes 1396 01:20:55,419 --> 01:20:58,620 ♪ Love, I love you virtually ♪ 1397 01:21:06,663 --> 01:21:09,431 Breaking news. In a stunning reversal of fortune, 1398 01:21:09,533 --> 01:21:12,035 recently disgraced gamer, Roddy Danger, 1399 01:21:12,137 --> 01:21:13,770 has apparently saved the world. 1400 01:21:13,872 --> 01:21:18,110 And won back the heart of his non-gamer girlfriend, Kimberly Martin. 1401 01:21:18,213 --> 01:21:21,411 Meanwhile, cyber cult leader, Kalvin Kluck, 1402 01:21:21,513 --> 01:21:24,414 has been arrested for operating a pyramid scheme. 1403 01:21:24,516 --> 01:21:26,955 And is being investigated for cyber terrorism, 1404 01:21:27,057 --> 01:21:29,583 for his attempted release of the Winners virus. 1405 01:21:29,686 --> 01:21:32,687 I'll get you, Roddy. I'll get you! 1406 01:21:32,789 --> 01:21:36,824 And on a personal note, I never fucking liked that guy. 1407 01:21:36,926 --> 01:21:40,198 Uh, I need five minutes. I'm just wasting everyone's time now. 1408 01:21:43,838 --> 01:21:45,370 Good show, everybody. 1409 01:21:48,543 --> 01:21:52,448 I honestly just don't know how I'm ever gonna trust him again. 1410 01:21:52,550 --> 01:21:53,775 And I feel the same way. 1411 01:21:53,877 --> 01:21:57,217 After the trust his gone, what are we supposed to do next? 1412 01:21:58,621 --> 01:22:00,220 That being said... 1413 01:22:00,322 --> 01:22:02,552 I have to admit the whole thing was kind of exciting. 1414 01:22:03,594 --> 01:22:05,655 All the sneaking around... 1415 01:22:05,757 --> 01:22:09,227 kind of reminded me of back when you were my professor. 1416 01:22:09,329 --> 01:22:12,430 - She was my student. - That's implied, Devine. 1417 01:22:13,231 --> 01:22:15,266 Uh, she was a very bad student. 1418 01:22:15,369 --> 01:22:17,634 Uh, she had a safe word "chicken in the pot." 1419 01:22:17,736 --> 01:22:20,174 It was "jerk chicken," honey. We've moved on from that. 1420 01:22:20,276 --> 01:22:22,872 Oh. We've moved on from that. We've changed that now. 1421 01:22:22,974 --> 01:22:24,809 Hmm. 1422 01:22:24,911 --> 01:22:27,480 Well, you know, the secret to a good relationship is communication 1423 01:22:27,615 --> 01:22:30,986 and the ability to fully express yourself with integrity. 1424 01:22:31,088 --> 01:22:33,288 I'm glad you are finding new ways to connect. 1425 01:22:33,424 --> 01:22:37,059 Speaking of which, have you ever heard of a French tugboat? 1426 01:22:39,590 --> 01:22:41,628 Uh, isn't that the ultimate gaming weapon? 1427 01:22:41,730 --> 01:22:44,395 - That... I think it was the ultimate gaming weapon. - I just said that. 1428 01:22:44,497 --> 01:22:47,729 What? No. It's a threesome... with an AI.