1 00:00:00,700 --> 00:00:03,450 (dramatic music) 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:15,677 --> 00:00:18,927 (Church bells chiming) 5 00:00:21,863 --> 00:00:24,446 (upbeat music) 6 00:00:25,374 --> 00:00:28,427 ♪ I won't give up ♪ 7 00:00:28,427 --> 00:00:31,674 ♪ Sure can't give in ♪ 8 00:00:31,674 --> 00:00:34,977 ♪ Know where I'm going ♪ 9 00:00:34,977 --> 00:00:38,237 ♪ See where I've been ♪ 10 00:00:38,237 --> 00:00:41,462 ♪ Damned if I don't ♪ 11 00:00:41,462 --> 00:00:44,713 ♪ Damned if I do ♪ 12 00:00:44,713 --> 00:00:47,700 ♪ I really thought I could make it without you ♪ 13 00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:50,850 ♪ Can't make it without you now ♪ 14 00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:53,013 ♪ Can't make it, can't make it ♪ 15 00:00:53,013 --> 00:00:55,430 (rock music) 16 00:00:57,750 --> 00:01:00,500 ♪ I really thought I could make it without you ♪ 17 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:04,287 ♪ Can't make it without you now ♪ 18 00:01:04,287 --> 00:01:07,000 ♪ I really thought I could make it without you ♪ 19 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:11,000 ♪ Can't make it without you now ♪ 20 00:01:16,590 --> 00:01:19,620 - If there is anyone here that can give cause 21 00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:23,070 as to why these two people should not be united 22 00:01:23,070 --> 00:01:28,070 in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace. 23 00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:30,323 - I can. 24 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:33,660 - And who might you be, sir? 25 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:36,840 - Beth's husband in the eyes of God. 26 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,120 - Michael, why are you doing this? 27 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,440 - Buzz off, loser. 28 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,690 - You do follow the Bible, don't you, minister? 29 00:01:42,690 --> 00:01:44,100 - Of course. 30 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:46,920 The Bible is our sole authority. 31 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,840 - Then you know that the Bible says that a believer 32 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:52,950 can't divorce another believer and then marry someone else 33 00:01:52,950 --> 00:01:56,070 and she's married to a believer, me. 34 00:01:56,070 --> 00:01:57,360 - Are you a Catholic? 35 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:58,503 - Yeah, so? 36 00:01:59,490 --> 00:02:04,490 - You pagan, heathen Catholics aren't real Christians. 37 00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:07,440 - Oh, horsepooey, we are so. 38 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,360 - Are not. - Are so. 39 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,037 - Uh-uh. - Uh-huh. 40 00:02:11,037 --> 00:02:12,000 - Uh-uh. 41 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,170 - This is stupid. 42 00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:14,848 - Well, yeah. 43 00:02:14,848 --> 00:02:15,797 (book slaps) 44 00:02:15,797 --> 00:02:20,070 - Oh, hey. 45 00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:21,750 - Aren't any of you gonna stand up? 46 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,670 - You're on your own, weedhopper. 47 00:02:23,670 --> 00:02:25,860 - Who cares, it's an open bar. 48 00:02:25,860 --> 00:02:27,423 - Beth, don't do this! 49 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,773 That's my wife up there! 50 00:02:33,661 --> 00:02:36,035 - There, go gnash your teeth, Bible man. 51 00:02:36,035 --> 00:02:41,035 (men laughing) (upbeat music) 52 00:02:41,722 --> 00:02:46,173 ♪ Maybe life's one big mystery ♪ 53 00:02:46,173 --> 00:02:51,124 ♪ We only see what we wanna see ♪ 54 00:02:51,124 --> 00:02:55,848 ♪ You tell me so loud and clear ♪ 55 00:02:55,848 --> 00:03:00,806 ♪ I tell myself what I wanna hear ♪ 56 00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:05,542 ♪ May have learned these last few years ♪ 57 00:03:05,542 --> 00:03:10,429 ♪ How to face your greatest fears ♪ 58 00:03:10,429 --> 00:03:14,855 ♪ Time has come and we both know ♪ 59 00:03:14,855 --> 00:03:19,855 ♪ You won't stay and I can't let you go ♪ 60 00:03:24,342 --> 00:03:29,342 ♪ You won't stay and I can't let you go ♪ 61 00:03:33,992 --> 00:03:38,659 ♪ You won't stay and I can't let you go ♪ 62 00:03:42,942 --> 00:03:45,479 (junk clinking) 63 00:03:45,479 --> 00:03:48,229 (metal crashing) 64 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,163 - More art, just what we need. 65 00:04:00,162 --> 00:04:01,262 - Will you be careful? 66 00:04:02,220 --> 00:04:05,580 This could be worth a lot of money someday, if it survives. 67 00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:08,370 - Then put it somewhere where I won't trip over it. 68 00:04:08,370 --> 00:04:11,790 The living room is an artistic obstacle course. 69 00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:12,940 - It's great, isn't it? 70 00:04:13,941 --> 00:04:14,774 Ooh. 71 00:04:15,642 --> 00:04:18,309 (playful music) 72 00:04:25,615 --> 00:04:28,142 - What? 73 00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:29,225 what are you? 74 00:04:33,465 --> 00:04:36,048 (gentle music) 75 00:04:55,099 --> 00:04:58,632 (crickets chirping) 76 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,682 I thought the house next door was vacant. 77 00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:02,970 - [David] Must be critters. 78 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:05,340 - With flashlights? 79 00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:06,340 - [David] Swamp gas. 80 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,563 - You're not even paying attention, look. 81 00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:22,140 - You're right, there's some lights. 82 00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:23,250 Should I call the cops? 83 00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:24,083 - No. 84 00:05:25,245 --> 00:05:27,000 I don't wanna sound foolish. 85 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:27,833 - Too late. 86 00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:36,153 Wanna play spaceman? 87 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,020 - [Beth] Oh, now you wanna play spaceman? 88 00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:41,760 - Anything to get out of these masks. 89 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,200 - Did you take the trash can 90 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,810 and the recycling out to the street? 91 00:05:45,810 --> 00:05:47,700 - Yes, princess. 92 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,560 Is that a point for me? 93 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,573 - [Beth] Offsetting, back to zero. 94 00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:54,273 Rub my back and maybe we'll see. 95 00:05:55,718 --> 00:05:58,385 (playful music) 96 00:06:11,366 --> 00:06:14,033 (David snoring) 97 00:06:24,739 --> 00:06:28,260 (Michael knocking) 98 00:06:28,260 --> 00:06:29,610 - Hi. 99 00:06:29,610 --> 00:06:32,804 Can we talk for a minute, please? 100 00:06:32,804 --> 00:06:33,637 Beth. 101 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,389 Beth. 102 00:06:37,389 --> 00:06:40,802 If you don't come out here, I'm gonna strangle this dog. 103 00:06:40,802 --> 00:06:43,553 (imitating dog struggle) 104 00:06:43,553 --> 00:06:44,386 Ow! 105 00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:46,683 - We don't have a dog. 106 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:50,220 - Well, you just saved his life. 107 00:06:50,220 --> 00:06:51,213 - Nice car. 108 00:06:52,050 --> 00:06:54,720 - Yeah, I'm leaving it to you. 109 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:58,290 - Oh good, I'll trade it for a villa in Tuscany. 110 00:06:58,290 --> 00:06:59,400 What do you want? 111 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,283 - I'm just getting my house in order. 112 00:07:03,180 --> 00:07:05,160 - Are you going somewhere? 113 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:05,993 - Maybe. 114 00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:08,550 - Good, then maybe you'll finally leave us alone. 115 00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:10,650 - And then you can contract a legal marriage 116 00:07:10,650 --> 00:07:11,483 with the Church. 117 00:07:11,483 --> 00:07:13,140 - You just won't let that die, will you? 118 00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:18,090 - No, but before I head off to that big island resort 119 00:07:18,090 --> 00:07:20,283 in the sky, just tell me one thing. 120 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,470 Why did you leave me? 121 00:07:22,470 --> 00:07:24,300 - Oh, I've told you a thousand times. 122 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:25,680 You know very well why. 123 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,113 - Beth, as God as my witness, I don't know why. 124 00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:33,000 - Last I checked, they still don't let cheaters into heaven. 125 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:33,833 - What? 126 00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:36,765 I never cheated on you. 127 00:07:36,765 --> 00:07:38,160 - Sure you did with that bimbo buyer. 128 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:39,300 - Bimbo buyer? 129 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,400 - The one you met at the base. 130 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,980 - Wait a minute, you mean that purchasing agent 131 00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:45,450 at the air base? 132 00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:48,150 It was David having the affair with her. 133 00:07:48,150 --> 00:07:50,250 Then when I wouldn't lie for him and his girlfriend 134 00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:51,690 at the time found out and dumped him, 135 00:07:51,690 --> 00:07:54,150 he said I'd violated the guy code, 136 00:07:54,150 --> 00:07:55,590 but he still got what he wanted. 137 00:07:55,590 --> 00:07:58,470 That bimbo, I mean purchasing agent, 138 00:07:58,470 --> 00:08:01,140 let him put his name on our bid, 139 00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:03,570 then she awarded it to him personally. 140 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:06,510 After that, he go it alone and didn't need me anymore. 141 00:08:06,510 --> 00:08:07,350 - You're lying. 142 00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:09,330 - Oh yeah, I just made that up. 143 00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:10,380 But that's not all. 144 00:08:10,380 --> 00:08:13,143 The agent got caught and David rolled over on her. 145 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:15,780 Pardon the pun. 146 00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:19,380 Then she went to jail while David was never prosecuted. 147 00:08:19,380 --> 00:08:23,013 Then he stole you, the big prize. 148 00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:27,120 - Why couldn't you tell me all this years ago? 149 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,023 - I couldn't. 150 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,070 - Even if you weren't lying and you are, 151 00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:34,710 you didn't have to hassle and harangue us forever 152 00:08:34,710 --> 00:08:36,473 and we could have dispelled this years ago 153 00:08:36,473 --> 00:08:39,273 and you wouldn't have had to make my life miserable. 154 00:08:41,610 --> 00:08:45,360 - Has anyone in the world ever been happy to see you? 155 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:46,833 - He's all yours, David. 156 00:08:48,030 --> 00:08:49,140 - What do you want? 157 00:08:49,140 --> 00:08:50,973 - The same thing I always want, 158 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,543 for my wife's soul to be safe and holy. 159 00:08:55,740 --> 00:08:59,490 - Holy matrimony, Batman, what a surprise. 160 00:08:59,490 --> 00:09:02,130 Pow. - Yeah, easy killer. 161 00:09:02,130 --> 00:09:04,740 But just think, if I wasn't around, 162 00:09:04,740 --> 00:09:05,910 you could marry her in the Church 163 00:09:05,910 --> 00:09:08,970 and maybe become a Catholic yourself. 164 00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:12,060 - The only way that I would ever become a Catholic 165 00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:14,610 is if Jesus Christ himself came down, 166 00:09:14,610 --> 00:09:17,580 knocked on my door and said, "Oh, I want you." 167 00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:20,520 - By the time He came back, it'd be too late for ya. 168 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:25,520 - Okay then, if the Pope asks me, then I'll become Catholic. 169 00:09:25,530 --> 00:09:28,320 Yeah, the Pope, that's a ticket. 170 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,273 Tell him drop in anytime. 171 00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:40,323 - Well, at least you still love me. 172 00:09:43,718 --> 00:09:46,385 (serious music) 173 00:09:49,950 --> 00:09:51,700 - [Beth] Did you steal the company? 174 00:09:53,670 --> 00:09:55,800 - [David] I had to take over. 175 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,900 He destroyed the company's integrity. 176 00:09:57,900 --> 00:09:59,310 It was a matter of survival. 177 00:09:59,310 --> 00:10:00,930 - [Beth] And what about me? 178 00:10:00,930 --> 00:10:03,580 - [David] Someone's gonna take care of you, so I did. 179 00:10:04,530 --> 00:10:06,831 - David Paul Sheba, if you are lying. 180 00:10:06,831 --> 00:10:07,998 - [David] Shh. 181 00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:11,507 (David claps) 182 00:10:16,421 --> 00:10:19,004 (solemn music) 183 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:24,273 - David, how come we never pray together? 184 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,333 - Pray? 185 00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:30,470 You knew I wasn't a praying man when you married me. 186 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,553 - Well, 187 00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:39,090 at least you weren't praying with me at the same time 188 00:10:39,090 --> 00:10:40,290 you were cheating on me. 189 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:54,018 (grand music) 190 00:11:10,445 --> 00:11:12,028 - Please, sit, sit. 191 00:11:13,023 --> 00:11:16,113 I am so happy and blessed to see you all here today. 192 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:21,810 There are so many people from different countries 193 00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:25,560 here in Cleveland for the World Youth Day. 194 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:30,240 It is an amazing sign of unity to see all the people 195 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,630 of different sizes and shapes and colors 196 00:11:33,630 --> 00:11:37,590 sharing our beloved Catholic faith with each other. 197 00:11:37,590 --> 00:11:42,590 It is, it is like a little bit of heaven 198 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:44,880 right here on the lake. 199 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,320 - Tell us, Your Holiness, 200 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:50,046 how does it feel being the first African Pope? 201 00:11:50,046 --> 00:11:51,323 - Well, I would not know. 202 00:11:51,323 --> 00:11:53,906 (all laughing) 203 00:11:56,280 --> 00:12:00,690 That happened in the first century of the Church. 204 00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:04,353 I am the fourth African Pope. 205 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:09,600 In the first 300 years of the Church, 206 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:14,600 each Pope was guaranteed to be martyred for the faith. 207 00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:19,836 I do not think that the pool of applicants was very large. 208 00:12:19,836 --> 00:12:21,750 (press laughing) 209 00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:26,010 It used to be that when people wanted to state the obvious, 210 00:12:26,010 --> 00:12:28,767 they would say, "Is the Pope Catholic?" 211 00:12:30,903 --> 00:12:32,423 It's okay, you can laugh. 212 00:12:32,423 --> 00:12:33,570 (press laughing) 213 00:12:33,570 --> 00:12:38,097 And many years later, it became, "Is the Pope Polish?" 214 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,060 Still, it's okay, you can laugh. 215 00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,213 (press laughing) 216 00:12:42,213 --> 00:12:46,380 Then sent John Paul II effectively 217 00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:49,143 killed off all Polish Popes. 218 00:12:50,460 --> 00:12:51,293 Why? 219 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:58,280 How many Poles does it take to defeat the Soviet Union? 220 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:00,473 Anyone? 221 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:02,647 No one? 222 00:13:06,246 --> 00:13:07,079 Just one. 223 00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:09,183 (press laughing) 224 00:13:09,183 --> 00:13:12,850 Now the latest joke is, "Is the Pope Black?" 225 00:13:14,096 --> 00:13:17,400 (press laughing) 226 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,233 Yes. 227 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:21,630 Do you know any good ones? 228 00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:26,630 - It's been a long trip and the Holy Father is a very tired. 229 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,330 Tomorrow he will be at various World Youth Day venues 230 00:13:30,330 --> 00:13:32,910 to smell the sheep, as it were. 231 00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:34,290 And then two days from now, 232 00:13:34,290 --> 00:13:37,140 the Pope will celebrate a large outdoor Mass 233 00:13:37,140 --> 00:13:38,610 at Lakefront Airport. 234 00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:41,250 We're expecting more than 2 million people for the Mass. 235 00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:43,800 I understand that's more than when the Calves 236 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,706 won the NBA Championship in 2016. 237 00:13:46,706 --> 00:13:47,539 (all laughing) 238 00:13:47,539 --> 00:13:48,372 - That's right. 239 00:13:48,372 --> 00:13:50,620 If it's big, it's happening in Cleveland. 240 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:51,900 (all laughing) 241 00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:53,403 Eat your hear out, Cincinnati. 242 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,810 - You got any threes? 243 00:13:57,810 --> 00:13:59,410 - No, Cardinal Cariott, go fish. 244 00:14:01,212 --> 00:14:02,583 - Oh, ha! 245 00:14:03,587 --> 00:14:07,050 - A bishop and do you have any trays? 246 00:14:07,050 --> 00:14:07,883 - What's a tray? 247 00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:11,220 (clergy laughing) 248 00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:12,480 - Threes. 249 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,733 - Oh, well then, no. 250 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:24,920 - Monsignor, do you have any sixes? 251 00:14:25,890 --> 00:14:26,723 Hmm, do you? 252 00:14:28,230 --> 00:14:29,433 - Oh, Monsignor. 253 00:14:32,053 --> 00:14:32,886 - I have. 254 00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:38,790 (clergy gasping) 255 00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,683 - No worries. 256 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,060 - Oh. 257 00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:48,930 Wouldn't it be great if Revelation had a key to the numbers? 258 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,610 - Come, on play. 259 00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:52,556 Cariott's losing again. 260 00:14:52,556 --> 00:14:54,655 (clergy laughing) 261 00:14:54,655 --> 00:14:56,340 - What? - He always loses, always. 262 00:14:56,340 --> 00:14:58,770 - It's terrible, it's the easiest game. 263 00:14:58,770 --> 00:14:59,770 - I win at swimming. 264 00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:03,540 - [Pope] When was the last time you went swimming? 265 00:15:03,540 --> 00:15:05,610 - I'm a master backstroker. 266 00:15:05,610 --> 00:15:06,450 - Yes. 267 00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:07,890 - You're going to go out to the Lake Erie 268 00:15:07,890 --> 00:15:09,450 and do a little bit of that while we're in town. 269 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,010 - I float very well. 270 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,420 - That's wonderful. 271 00:15:12,420 --> 00:15:14,463 I can stay floating for hours. 272 00:15:15,690 --> 00:15:18,231 I'm like a upside down whale. 273 00:15:18,231 --> 00:15:21,064 (clergy laughing) 274 00:15:24,930 --> 00:15:27,840 - Dear Lord, I know this World Youth Day 275 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,733 was scheduled before I was elected, 276 00:15:33,658 --> 00:15:35,825 but why did You choose me? 277 00:15:37,577 --> 00:15:40,233 I am no good at this glad-handy. 278 00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:45,570 I don't even know why you made me a bishop and a cardinal, 279 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,743 let alone the Pope. 280 00:15:48,694 --> 00:15:52,690 I fear that I will be a lousy shepherd 281 00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:56,583 and the wolves will ravage Your flock. 282 00:15:59,970 --> 00:16:00,803 Please, 283 00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:04,863 take this cup from me, 284 00:16:07,470 --> 00:16:09,783 even if it means I have to die. 285 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:14,720 (somber music) 286 00:16:28,116 --> 00:16:31,500 (bright music) 287 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,693 - Commence Operation Pope Drops In. 288 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,308 Showtime. 289 00:16:38,308 --> 00:16:40,891 (bright music) 290 00:16:45,930 --> 00:16:46,763 - [Pope] Coffee. 291 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,033 - Coffee. 292 00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,800 They don't have any coffee inside? 293 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,280 - Describing what they have in there as coffee 294 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,172 would be a sin against the eighth commandment. 295 00:17:08,172 --> 00:17:10,607 (both laughing) 296 00:17:10,607 --> 00:17:12,810 - I like this car. 297 00:17:12,810 --> 00:17:14,190 It's a nice color. 298 00:17:14,190 --> 00:17:17,160 - I got stuck with a whole fleet of these Fiats 299 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:21,180 because my predecessor did not want to offend the Italians, 300 00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:26,010 so I had them painted Church colors. 301 00:17:26,010 --> 00:17:31,010 Mary Blue, Martha Red, Ordinary Green and Latarra Pink. 302 00:17:32,850 --> 00:17:34,460 - Latarra Pink. 303 00:17:34,460 --> 00:17:37,700 - Yes, we only take those out a couple of Sundays a year. 304 00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:40,020 (both laughing) 305 00:17:40,020 --> 00:17:42,303 - What, no Prince of Peace Purple? 306 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:46,637 - No, apparently some rock star's estate 307 00:17:46,637 --> 00:17:48,554 owns everything purple. 308 00:17:49,564 --> 00:17:50,427 - Oh. 309 00:17:50,427 --> 00:17:53,600 (Pope laughing) 310 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:54,433 - Coffee? 311 00:17:58,237 --> 00:18:01,070 (uplifting music) 312 00:18:20,790 --> 00:18:23,883 - Can I ask you a special favor? 313 00:18:28,230 --> 00:18:29,340 - Go on, my son. 314 00:18:29,340 --> 00:18:31,170 - I need you to go with me to visit someone 315 00:18:31,170 --> 00:18:33,663 who needs to come back to the faith. 316 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,900 - I don't think I have time. 317 00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:39,480 - Not have time to save a soul? 318 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,330 - You know, I have many commitments. 319 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,673 - I do, and I only have one, 320 00:18:45,810 --> 00:18:47,733 but it's a very important one. 321 00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:51,573 In fact, there's none more important than this. 322 00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:54,513 - And if I won't go? 323 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:59,310 - Then I will have to insist. 324 00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:04,310 - So, you are kidnapping me, eh? 325 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,723 - If that's what you wanna call it. 326 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,873 - Know you can go to jail for this? 327 00:19:17,370 --> 00:19:21,870 - You know when Jesus says to Peter, "When you are old, 328 00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,870 you will stretch out your hands and others will dress you 329 00:19:24,870 --> 00:19:26,310 and take you where you don't want to go"? 330 00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:30,030 - Yes, I know the passage. 331 00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:33,513 - Well, now is that time, Peter. 332 00:19:33,513 --> 00:19:35,250 (Pope laughing) 333 00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:37,470 - I don't think this particular time 334 00:19:37,470 --> 00:19:38,790 is what he was referring to. 335 00:19:38,790 --> 00:19:41,103 - Probably not, but it'll have to do. 336 00:19:51,998 --> 00:19:55,980 (quiet dramatic music) 337 00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:56,887 - Is that gun? 338 00:19:59,403 --> 00:20:00,813 - It's my finger. 339 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:11,670 - Did you cry at the end of "Field of Dreams?" 340 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:13,233 - Yeah, of course. 341 00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:17,333 - Me too. 342 00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:23,133 All right, how long will this take? 343 00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:26,176 - They'll hardly miss you. 344 00:20:26,176 --> 00:20:27,744 (Pope laughing) 345 00:20:27,744 --> 00:20:30,327 (bright music) 346 00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:40,760 - [Spiro] Here you go. 347 00:20:43,013 --> 00:20:44,640 - Who are you? 348 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:45,473 - Spiro. 349 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:47,583 - I am the Pope. 350 00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:49,893 - I know who you are. 351 00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:53,880 Nice color, this car, Mary Blue. 352 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,570 We're riding in Mary's Fiat, how appropriate. 353 00:20:57,570 --> 00:20:59,727 - How old are you? 354 00:20:59,727 --> 00:21:01,593 - Old enough to go on an adventure. 355 00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:04,410 - I am sure this violates 356 00:21:04,410 --> 00:21:07,440 some sort of child protection protocol. 357 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:08,760 - No, it doesn't. 358 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,740 Let the little children come to me. 359 00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:12,780 Kids need adults around. 360 00:21:12,780 --> 00:21:14,970 So where are we headed, Michael? 361 00:21:14,970 --> 00:21:18,660 - South and West, Cincinnati. 362 00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:21,720 - Wait, he can't go. 363 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,453 - Sure he can, it'll be fun. 364 00:21:25,678 --> 00:21:26,910 - Are you nuts? 365 00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:30,063 - I'm kidnapping the Pope, of course I am. 366 00:21:32,670 --> 00:21:34,800 - This better be life or death. 367 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,100 - Oh, it's more than that. 368 00:21:37,017 --> 00:21:38,940 - So you are in cahoots. 369 00:21:38,940 --> 00:21:40,143 - You might say that. 370 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,203 - Hey, there are only four holes. 371 00:21:47,580 --> 00:21:49,173 - Carrying charges. 372 00:21:51,287 --> 00:21:54,960 - Funny guy. (Michael laughing) 373 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:55,927 Here, you want one? 374 00:21:59,273 --> 00:22:01,690 (rock music) 375 00:22:03,665 --> 00:22:07,008 ♪ Rock and roll makes me speed ♪ 376 00:22:07,008 --> 00:22:10,426 ♪ Driving my car like a trusty steed ♪ 377 00:22:10,426 --> 00:22:13,885 ♪ Crossing the river deep and wide ♪ 378 00:22:13,885 --> 00:22:18,330 ♪ Headed outta town on Riverside Drive ♪ 379 00:22:18,330 --> 00:22:22,517 ♪ Riverside Drive is calling ♪ 380 00:22:22,517 --> 00:22:24,962 ♪ Makes me feel so young and alive ♪ 381 00:22:24,962 --> 00:22:29,202 ♪ Riverside Drive is calling ♪ 382 00:22:29,202 --> 00:22:32,842 ♪ Heaven must be something like Riverside Drive ♪ 383 00:22:32,842 --> 00:22:36,132 ♪ Heaven must be something like Riverside Drive ♪ 384 00:22:36,132 --> 00:22:41,132 ♪ Heaven must be something like Riverside Drive ♪ 385 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,333 - I really appreciate this. 386 00:22:48,210 --> 00:22:50,340 - Let's just get it over with. 387 00:22:50,340 --> 00:22:52,830 Who are we going to see? 388 00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:55,130 - Some people you have a natural affinity for, 389 00:22:55,980 --> 00:22:58,680 a divorced and remarried, non-practicing Catholic 390 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,013 and her not-anything spouse who broke up her first marriage. 391 00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:07,230 - And how are you connected? 392 00:23:07,230 --> 00:23:10,473 - The guy's my ex-business partner who stole the business. 393 00:23:11,340 --> 00:23:12,723 The woman is my wife. 394 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:15,363 He stole her too. 395 00:23:16,470 --> 00:23:18,600 - I don't think it's very wise for me 396 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,630 to become involved in a domestic disturbance. 397 00:23:21,630 --> 00:23:23,760 - Oh you mean husband pummels Pope 398 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,160 who was visiting wife, film at 11. 399 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:26,993 - Pummel? 400 00:23:28,890 --> 00:23:30,703 I don't want to be pummeled. 401 00:23:32,610 --> 00:23:34,920 Are you sure you should be doing this? 402 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,920 - Giving your love to someone who betrays you 403 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,543 is the story of Jesus. 404 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:41,880 - He is right, you know. 405 00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,580 - So, what do you do in your spare time? 406 00:23:47,580 --> 00:23:48,918 - Spare time. 407 00:23:48,918 --> 00:23:49,751 (Pope laughing) 408 00:23:49,751 --> 00:23:52,950 You mean when I am not being Vicar of Christ, 409 00:23:52,950 --> 00:23:54,930 head of the Universal Church, 410 00:23:54,930 --> 00:23:57,720 and Servant of all servants to God? 411 00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,550 - Yeah, that. 412 00:23:59,550 --> 00:24:01,749 - Love to bowl. 413 00:24:01,749 --> 00:24:03,150 (Pope laughing) 414 00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:05,040 Play a little bowling ball. 415 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,167 It's so exciting, I love it. 416 00:24:07,167 --> 00:24:08,700 - You know any good jokes? 417 00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:10,920 - Spiro, he's not the Church jester. 418 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,360 - No, no, no, no, no, no, he's okay, he's okay. 419 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:16,119 Ah, everyone listening? 420 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:17,952 Aah, okay, okay, okay. 421 00:24:19,613 --> 00:24:22,470 Why did the theologian cross the road? 422 00:24:22,470 --> 00:24:24,070 - To observe the good Samaritan. 423 00:24:26,700 --> 00:24:29,463 - So you have heard this one before. 424 00:24:31,140 --> 00:24:34,890 - Okay, so why did the Good Samaritan cross the road? 425 00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:38,400 - Ah, to help the guy who was beaten up. 426 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:39,903 - Eh, wrong. 427 00:24:40,830 --> 00:24:43,060 To get away from the theologian. 428 00:24:43,060 --> 00:24:45,977 (Michael laughing) 429 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,243 - How is that funny? 430 00:24:52,740 --> 00:24:54,633 - You gotta work on your standup. 431 00:24:57,030 --> 00:25:01,293 - Dying is easy, but comedy, comedy is hard. 432 00:25:05,094 --> 00:25:06,450 The banyo, please. 433 00:25:06,450 --> 00:25:09,333 I need to go next stop, please. 434 00:25:14,550 --> 00:25:17,670 - Bishop, it appears the Pope is headed out of town. 435 00:25:17,670 --> 00:25:20,820 Why, I don't know, and where he's going, I can't tell. 436 00:25:20,820 --> 00:25:22,247 - How do you know that? 437 00:25:22,247 --> 00:25:27,247 - Ah, I have a new and improved Pope tracker on my phone. 438 00:25:27,630 --> 00:25:30,750 As long as he has his smartphone on him, we can find him. 439 00:25:30,750 --> 00:25:32,670 Now then, do you have any men 440 00:25:32,670 --> 00:25:35,280 you can put on this, tough ones? 441 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,113 - Let me think. 442 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,953 Well, there's always the Kamaraza brothers. 443 00:25:39,953 --> 00:25:41,580 - The the Karamaza brothers. 444 00:25:41,580 --> 00:25:43,200 - No, the Kamaraza brothers. 445 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,555 - That's what I said, Karamaza brothers. 446 00:25:45,555 --> 00:25:50,523 The K brothers, but can you assure me, are they discreet? 447 00:25:51,533 --> 00:25:54,783 (Sicilian Mafia music) 448 00:25:57,750 --> 00:26:01,740 - My name is Dimitri Leoni Disputin Kamarazo. 449 00:26:01,740 --> 00:26:05,613 This is my brother, Alioso Theodore Pavlonavich Kamarazo. 450 00:26:07,170 --> 00:26:08,243 We call him Vepos. 451 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:11,343 - Gentlemen, sit. 452 00:26:16,470 --> 00:26:17,770 Make yourself comfortable. 453 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,250 Now then, I have a mission for you. 454 00:26:22,250 --> 00:26:26,010 It is nothing less than saving the Church. 455 00:26:26,010 --> 00:26:28,353 I need you to find the Pope. 456 00:26:29,580 --> 00:26:30,660 - The Pope is missing? 457 00:26:30,660 --> 00:26:33,329 - Either that or he has been kidnapped. 458 00:26:33,329 --> 00:26:36,020 (Vepos gasping) 459 00:26:36,020 --> 00:26:37,637 - We will find him, Your Eminence, 460 00:26:37,637 --> 00:26:40,170 and we will bring him back safely. 461 00:26:40,170 --> 00:26:41,686 - I swear. 462 00:26:41,686 --> 00:26:44,010 - Do not swear, we are in mixed company. 463 00:26:44,010 --> 00:26:45,210 - Sorry. 464 00:26:45,210 --> 00:26:48,270 - Gentlemen, allow me to confer for a moment 465 00:26:48,270 --> 00:26:51,040 with Monsignor Riacco. 466 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:55,770 Okay, so Monsignor, I was going to pay these two yodel heads 467 00:26:55,770 --> 00:26:57,840 to make sure the Pope never returned, 468 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,810 but now I think they are more likely to accomplish that 469 00:27:00,810 --> 00:27:02,790 by trying to save him. 470 00:27:02,790 --> 00:27:03,623 What do you think? 471 00:27:03,623 --> 00:27:06,630 - Right, we can send them on a perilous quest 472 00:27:06,630 --> 00:27:09,210 wherein they will die, along with the Pope, 473 00:27:09,210 --> 00:27:12,420 and then you'll be a shoo-in to be the Pope 474 00:27:12,420 --> 00:27:14,698 at the next conclave. 475 00:27:14,698 --> 00:27:16,557 - They know we're here, right? 476 00:27:16,557 --> 00:27:18,653 - They understand we are two feet from them. 477 00:27:20,873 --> 00:27:21,927 I'm sure they know that they are doing. 478 00:27:21,927 --> 00:27:23,408 - I'm sure. 479 00:27:23,408 --> 00:27:24,750 - They're a very organized religion. 480 00:27:24,750 --> 00:27:25,583 - This is very true. 481 00:27:25,583 --> 00:27:26,670 - What shall we have them do? 482 00:27:26,670 --> 00:27:28,230 Zip lining with loose connections? 483 00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:29,400 - Too obvious. 484 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:30,960 - Bungee jumping with too long of a cord. 485 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:32,100 - Too much fun. 486 00:27:32,100 --> 00:27:35,100 - Sabotage the tire swing over the lake. 487 00:27:35,100 --> 00:27:37,560 - We're not sending him to summer camp. 488 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:38,643 - Look at their face. 489 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:47,513 - Sorry. 490 00:27:49,140 --> 00:27:52,470 We could tell them that he needs to survive 491 00:27:52,470 --> 00:27:54,903 a snake bite in his sleep. 492 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,810 And then we let them have one 493 00:27:57,810 --> 00:27:59,790 that they let loose in the room. 494 00:27:59,790 --> 00:28:01,980 It's very biblical, very Sherlock. 495 00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:04,633 - Too Pentecostal. 496 00:28:04,633 --> 00:28:06,330 (growling) What's his kryptonite? 497 00:28:06,330 --> 00:28:09,120 We cart, ooh, we could make him run 'till he drops. 498 00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:10,020 - For what reason? 499 00:28:10,020 --> 00:28:10,853 - You're right. 500 00:28:16,275 --> 00:28:18,330 - (gasping) Wait a minute. 501 00:28:18,330 --> 00:28:20,414 He's got seasonal allergies. 502 00:28:20,414 --> 00:28:21,247 - So? 503 00:28:21,247 --> 00:28:24,090 - So we tell the boys he has to be locked away 504 00:28:24,090 --> 00:28:27,171 in the dungeon of a castle until he completes 505 00:28:27,171 --> 00:28:30,990 substitutional penance for all the scandals of the Church. 506 00:28:30,990 --> 00:28:32,280 And no one can interrupt him 507 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,130 or he has to start all over again, 508 00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:39,300 one day for every bad priest in the last 100 years. 509 00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:40,580 - What will that do? 510 00:28:40,580 --> 00:28:41,413 He'll like that. 511 00:28:41,413 --> 00:28:42,246 - No food. 512 00:28:42,246 --> 00:28:47,246 We tell these honyocks only angels can come and feed him. 513 00:28:47,370 --> 00:28:50,070 They'll lock him away 'till nobody's there 514 00:28:50,070 --> 00:28:53,915 and that moldy old castle will kill him in no time. 515 00:28:53,915 --> 00:28:55,560 - Brilliant. - I know. 516 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:56,960 - Now we just need a castle. 517 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,433 Let's search, castles near me. 518 00:29:04,290 --> 00:29:05,490 Ah, here we are. - Huh. 519 00:29:06,930 --> 00:29:09,240 - White Castle. 520 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:11,610 Oh, that's not right. 521 00:29:11,610 --> 00:29:13,980 That's a chain that sells onion burgers. 522 00:29:13,980 --> 00:29:16,170 - Burgers. - No, onion burgers. 523 00:29:16,170 --> 00:29:18,993 We're trying to starve him to death, not torture him. 524 00:29:20,579 --> 00:29:21,412 - Me know castle. 525 00:29:21,412 --> 00:29:22,323 - It is in Loveland. 526 00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:29,460 - Gentlemen, you're about to embark on a quest. 527 00:29:29,460 --> 00:29:33,000 You need to capture the Pope and take him to the... 528 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,233 - White Castle. 529 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:37,670 - The one you said. 530 00:29:38,650 --> 00:29:41,373 - Loveland. - Loveland, the castle. 531 00:29:42,390 --> 00:29:46,320 And have him do penance for the Universal Church. 532 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:50,070 It's tough love, my brothers, tough love. 533 00:29:50,070 --> 00:29:53,160 The future of the Church depends on you. 534 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,410 Here, take this phone. 535 00:29:55,410 --> 00:29:57,780 It's set to track the Pope's location. 536 00:29:57,780 --> 00:30:01,350 And gentlemen, I gave up anger for Lent, 537 00:30:01,350 --> 00:30:03,720 so don't piss me off. 538 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:04,743 - Aye aye, sir. 539 00:30:06,030 --> 00:30:07,081 - You have no problem. 540 00:30:07,081 --> 00:30:08,037 (all laughing) 541 00:30:08,037 --> 00:30:09,753 - Yes, now you understand. 542 00:30:11,019 --> 00:30:12,077 Fine. 543 00:30:12,077 --> 00:30:12,994 Good, good. 544 00:30:15,325 --> 00:30:17,379 - We will do fine. - We'll do fine. 545 00:30:17,379 --> 00:30:20,737 We have to do this. - You have to leave. 546 00:30:20,737 --> 00:30:23,184 - Must find, find Pope. 547 00:30:23,184 --> 00:30:25,893 (brothers chatting) 548 00:30:25,893 --> 00:30:26,726 - Get out! 549 00:30:27,936 --> 00:30:28,769 Leave! 550 00:30:29,821 --> 00:30:32,026 - Go, nice to meet you. - Bye-bye. 551 00:30:32,026 --> 00:30:33,026 - Au revoir. 552 00:30:34,099 --> 00:30:36,599 - They are very nice, I think. 553 00:30:38,573 --> 00:30:39,900 - Do you think it will work? 554 00:30:39,900 --> 00:30:43,083 - Let's just say my miter size is a 7 1/2. 555 00:30:45,205 --> 00:30:47,872 (both laughing) 556 00:30:58,260 --> 00:30:59,133 - Hello, Mary. 557 00:31:03,660 --> 00:31:06,330 - Welcome, would you like to try a tasting flight? 558 00:31:06,330 --> 00:31:07,656 - Sure. 559 00:31:07,656 --> 00:31:08,550 (sommelier laughing) 560 00:31:08,550 --> 00:31:10,293 - Not for me, I'm driving. 561 00:31:11,127 --> 00:31:13,466 But how about a glass of wine for our friend? 562 00:31:13,466 --> 00:31:15,338 - Okay. - And I'll take a grape juice. 563 00:31:15,338 --> 00:31:16,590 - All right. 564 00:31:16,590 --> 00:31:19,080 - In that case I'll have what he's having. 565 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:22,863 - Oh, wine for your friend and grape juice for you. 566 00:31:24,958 --> 00:31:27,573 You know, your friend there looks familiar. 567 00:31:28,428 --> 00:31:31,623 - Oh yeah, lots of people say he looks like the Pope. 568 00:31:32,703 --> 00:31:34,873 - No, that's not it. 569 00:31:46,530 --> 00:31:48,180 - We ordered you a glass of wine. 570 00:31:51,150 --> 00:31:51,983 - Thank you. 571 00:31:55,094 --> 00:31:56,603 Blood of the Grape. 572 00:31:56,603 --> 00:31:59,010 What is the significance of that name? 573 00:31:59,010 --> 00:32:01,290 - My late husband and I thought it would be an honor 574 00:32:01,290 --> 00:32:03,360 to make the wine that turns into the actual blood 575 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,450 of Christ at Mass, so the blood of the grape 576 00:32:06,450 --> 00:32:08,223 becomes the blood of the Lamb. 577 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:10,713 - Good for you. 578 00:32:11,610 --> 00:32:13,680 May I purchase a case? 579 00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:17,430 - This is all I have left of the sacramental wine. 580 00:32:17,430 --> 00:32:20,433 We had Jesuits in last week and they cleaned me out. 581 00:32:21,300 --> 00:32:23,553 - Well, let's just hope they don't turn it back into water. 582 00:32:23,553 --> 00:32:26,034 (all laughing) 583 00:32:26,034 --> 00:32:27,542 (dramatic music) 584 00:32:27,542 --> 00:32:29,253 - Nobody move. 585 00:32:30,455 --> 00:32:33,705 (Sicilian Mafia music) 586 00:32:39,060 --> 00:32:39,893 Good. 587 00:32:42,012 --> 00:32:44,845 (glasses banging) 588 00:32:45,810 --> 00:32:46,660 - Follow my lead. 589 00:32:47,758 --> 00:32:50,508 (dramatic music) 590 00:33:04,355 --> 00:33:05,580 - Squirrel! 591 00:33:05,580 --> 00:33:08,673 - Oh, I love squirrel. 592 00:33:10,740 --> 00:33:11,643 What is squirrel? 593 00:33:12,896 --> 00:33:14,549 Oh, where'd they go? 594 00:33:14,549 --> 00:33:17,049 (chase music) 595 00:33:43,170 --> 00:33:45,033 - Oh! 596 00:33:47,220 --> 00:33:49,650 - Don't mess with the Mike, wherever you are. 597 00:33:49,650 --> 00:33:50,500 - And you're out! 598 00:33:53,448 --> 00:33:56,781 (chase music continues) 599 00:33:59,898 --> 00:34:01,932 (shovel bangs) 600 00:34:01,932 --> 00:34:04,349 (body thuds) 601 00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:17,950 Nice shot, but let's see what the judges have to say. 602 00:34:19,592 --> 00:34:21,243 It was just war theory. 603 00:34:24,900 --> 00:34:26,253 Proportional response. 604 00:34:30,759 --> 00:34:31,842 Self-defense. 605 00:34:36,392 --> 00:34:37,410 - Okay. 606 00:34:37,410 --> 00:34:40,152 The judges will accept that. - The judges will accept that. 607 00:34:40,152 --> 00:34:43,679 - Good, now let's get out of here. 608 00:34:43,679 --> 00:34:46,262 (bright music) 609 00:34:55,563 --> 00:34:56,480 - The wine! 610 00:34:58,735 --> 00:34:59,985 - Hurry, hurry! 611 00:35:03,090 --> 00:35:07,590 - [Michael] Come on, come on, come on, come on, hurry. 612 00:35:22,515 --> 00:35:25,015 (car revving) 613 00:35:26,437 --> 00:35:28,207 - [Pope] Bless you, my son. 614 00:35:28,207 --> 00:35:31,289 (tires squealing) 615 00:35:31,289 --> 00:35:33,789 (chase music) 616 00:35:38,583 --> 00:35:41,083 (car revving) 617 00:35:44,523 --> 00:35:48,533 - Stop! (tires screeching) 618 00:35:48,533 --> 00:35:51,450 (brothers panting) 619 00:35:57,918 --> 00:35:58,883 Get in. 620 00:35:58,883 --> 00:36:01,003 - What are you doing? - All right. 621 00:36:01,003 --> 00:36:02,760 I always stop for hitchhikers. 622 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:03,960 - And he gives them 20s. 623 00:36:06,930 --> 00:36:09,720 - Why you think they pick up bottle guy? 624 00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:13,260 - Because he obviously want second hostage. 625 00:36:13,260 --> 00:36:16,097 - Oh, he's very smart. 626 00:36:16,097 --> 00:36:19,552 Oh, you're very smart. 627 00:36:19,552 --> 00:36:22,552 (brothers groaning) 628 00:36:24,765 --> 00:36:28,020 My calf, my leg, my back leg is hurt. 629 00:36:28,020 --> 00:36:29,673 I get Charles horse. 630 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:33,933 - Hi, I'm Jesse. 631 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,683 - This is Michael and that's Papa. 632 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:39,990 - The real thing. 633 00:36:39,990 --> 00:36:41,793 - Yep, but nobody believes it. 634 00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:46,080 - Well, he doesn't seem very Pope-ish. 635 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,270 - He's a little timid yet, but we're working on it. 636 00:36:48,270 --> 00:36:50,430 - Hey guys, I am right here. 637 00:36:50,430 --> 00:36:53,460 - See, he's just getting better at asserting himself. 638 00:36:53,460 --> 00:36:54,660 Just give him some time. 639 00:36:55,770 --> 00:36:58,294 - Oh, this trip will be good for him. 640 00:36:58,294 --> 00:37:00,530 - Hey, no touching, no touching. 641 00:37:00,530 --> 00:37:01,880 What are you guys, shrinks? 642 00:37:02,850 --> 00:37:04,500 - Testy. 643 00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:06,066 So what's the mission? 644 00:37:06,066 --> 00:37:09,274 - Tell him, Papa. 645 00:37:09,274 --> 00:37:10,560 - You can tell him. 646 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,503 - I can't even believe that I am doing this. 647 00:37:14,970 --> 00:37:18,030 Okay, so, Michael is trying to save his wife 648 00:37:18,030 --> 00:37:20,430 who divorced him and married his ex-business partner 649 00:37:20,430 --> 00:37:23,700 who stole the company and his wife some 20 years ago. 650 00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:26,310 Why? Because Michael would not lie for him to his girlfriend 651 00:37:26,310 --> 00:37:28,560 about his infidelities many years before. 652 00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,530 Now this same said ex-business partner has told Michael 653 00:37:31,530 --> 00:37:33,750 that he will become a Christian and join the Church 654 00:37:33,750 --> 00:37:36,630 only if the Pope drops in and ask him personally 655 00:37:36,630 --> 00:37:39,450 and we are on our way to Cincinnati to do just that. 656 00:37:39,450 --> 00:37:40,283 Clear? 657 00:37:41,940 --> 00:37:43,560 - Crystal. 658 00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:44,393 - Good. 659 00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:47,013 - What if David reneges? 660 00:37:48,504 --> 00:37:52,143 - How do we know his name? 661 00:37:56,730 --> 00:37:59,700 - I wouldn't mind some help around here sometimes. 662 00:37:59,700 --> 00:38:01,713 - I help, I make the money. 663 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,053 - Oh sure. 664 00:38:04,980 --> 00:38:07,353 Porsche is nothing but Brutus' harlot. 665 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:09,660 - What? 666 00:38:09,660 --> 00:38:12,390 - This isn't a business, this is a marriage. 667 00:38:12,390 --> 00:38:13,680 - Where's this coming from? 668 00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:15,780 - Do you know what day it is? 669 00:38:15,780 --> 00:38:18,120 - Seven chances and six don't count. 670 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:19,110 - Really? 671 00:38:19,110 --> 00:38:22,227 - I know it's not "don't hassle your husband day." 672 00:38:28,980 --> 00:38:29,813 - Nope. 673 00:38:31,230 --> 00:38:33,089 It's our anniversary. 674 00:38:33,089 --> 00:38:36,420 (somber music) 675 00:38:36,420 --> 00:38:38,970 - So tell me more about this situation 676 00:38:38,970 --> 00:38:42,120 before I go and get my head blown off. 677 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:43,623 - You're in no danger. 678 00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:46,863 David knows the truth even if Beth doesn't. 679 00:38:47,970 --> 00:38:50,970 - So you think this is partially your fault? 680 00:38:50,970 --> 00:38:52,173 - Not that I know of. 681 00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:56,673 I loved my wife dearly. 682 00:38:59,850 --> 00:39:02,253 There's lots of innocent spouses out there. 683 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:07,350 Nobody's perfect, but a marriage without forgiveness 684 00:39:07,350 --> 00:39:08,703 will always end badly. 685 00:39:10,110 --> 00:39:11,523 - Forgiveness. 686 00:39:14,669 --> 00:39:19,350 You know, the Lord says that if we even look 687 00:39:19,350 --> 00:39:22,293 at another woman with lust in our heart, 688 00:39:23,550 --> 00:39:26,190 then we have committed adultery with her. 689 00:39:26,190 --> 00:39:29,070 - Look, I certainly appreciate the finer attributes 690 00:39:29,070 --> 00:39:33,273 of feminine pulchritude, but I never acted on it. 691 00:39:35,220 --> 00:39:38,340 I think she just decided she didn't love me anymore 692 00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:39,663 and wanted out. 693 00:39:40,539 --> 00:39:42,330 - And why didn't you ask for an annulment? 694 00:39:42,330 --> 00:39:44,430 - I had no grounds. 695 00:39:44,430 --> 00:39:45,783 I kept my vow. 696 00:39:46,770 --> 00:39:49,830 Plus David's divorced, too, so even if she asked, 697 00:39:49,830 --> 00:39:51,303 it wouldn't have been enough. 698 00:39:52,650 --> 00:39:54,570 He'd never accept Church authority. 699 00:39:54,570 --> 00:39:56,370 I'm sure he'd say he didn't need it. 700 00:39:57,529 --> 00:39:59,520 - The more you tell me about the situation, 701 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,350 the more I doubt it will do any good. 702 00:40:01,350 --> 00:40:05,970 - Perhaps, but what are you afraid of? 703 00:40:05,970 --> 00:40:07,173 - I am not afraid. 704 00:40:08,460 --> 00:40:11,310 I am being prudent. 705 00:40:11,310 --> 00:40:14,343 - No, you're being a coward. 706 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:21,593 - Stop this car. 707 00:40:24,030 --> 00:40:24,863 Pull over. 708 00:40:26,228 --> 00:40:27,972 Pull over now. 709 00:40:27,972 --> 00:40:30,555 (somber music) 710 00:40:49,637 --> 00:40:51,693 It was a dumb idea all the way around. 711 00:40:59,010 --> 00:40:59,843 - No! 712 00:41:03,750 --> 00:41:06,093 It's the same thing Jesus did for us. 713 00:41:09,810 --> 00:41:11,283 To who else can we go? 714 00:41:34,590 --> 00:41:35,753 - I said I would help and I will. 715 00:41:38,290 --> 00:41:40,790 (light music) 716 00:41:45,210 --> 00:41:46,903 Michael, I am sorry. 717 00:41:49,818 --> 00:41:52,401 (bright music) 718 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:14,340 All this wine and running has given me heartburn. 719 00:42:14,340 --> 00:42:16,350 - The Pope has ajathu. 720 00:42:16,350 --> 00:42:17,940 - What is that? 721 00:42:17,940 --> 00:42:19,830 - A Sicilian heartburn. 722 00:42:19,830 --> 00:42:23,493 - Oh, I get that a lot in Rome. 723 00:42:23,493 --> 00:42:26,160 (playful music) 724 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:35,460 - Hey, I know that guy, that's Gums and Roses. 725 00:42:35,460 --> 00:42:36,360 - Me too. - Yeah. 726 00:42:40,112 --> 00:42:42,862 (dramatic music) 727 00:42:53,713 --> 00:42:56,100 - All right, now you go to the bathroom 728 00:42:56,100 --> 00:42:57,815 and I'll get you some antacid. 729 00:42:57,815 --> 00:43:01,042 - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, bathroom. 730 00:43:01,042 --> 00:43:02,078 Bathroom, oh. 731 00:43:02,078 --> 00:43:03,241 - Whoa. 732 00:43:03,241 --> 00:43:04,984 Hop right in. 733 00:43:04,984 --> 00:43:07,792 Bathroom, bathroom, you stay there. 734 00:43:07,792 --> 00:43:08,625 Step here. 735 00:43:09,857 --> 00:43:12,440 (bright music) 736 00:43:50,740 --> 00:43:53,460 Think I could pass for a cowboy? 737 00:43:53,460 --> 00:43:56,700 - No partner, you're all hat and no cattle. 738 00:43:56,700 --> 00:43:58,470 - But I have sheep. 739 00:43:58,470 --> 00:44:00,330 - That's true. 740 00:44:00,330 --> 00:44:02,280 Here, try these on. 741 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:04,517 You'll be less conspicuous. 742 00:44:04,517 --> 00:44:07,100 (upbeat music) 743 00:44:16,971 --> 00:44:21,910 ♪ The dude ♪ 744 00:44:21,910 --> 00:44:25,620 ♪ He's the dude ♪ 745 00:44:25,620 --> 00:44:28,132 ♪ Sometimes it feels like a ball and chain ♪ 746 00:44:28,132 --> 00:44:30,620 ♪ Pinned ultimate penance for winning the game ♪ 747 00:44:30,620 --> 00:44:31,870 ♪ You're no volunteer ♪ 748 00:44:31,870 --> 00:44:33,120 ♪ They all step back ♪ 749 00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:36,097 ♪ Surprised your a pontiff, you're a trap ♪ 750 00:44:36,097 --> 00:44:38,647 ♪ Always be lonely, but never alone ♪ 751 00:44:38,647 --> 00:44:41,233 ♪ Can't step out for pizza or talk on the phone ♪ 752 00:44:41,233 --> 00:44:43,920 ♪ So why does this kid feel like you're free ♪ 753 00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:48,920 ♪ Maybe never go back to see what you see ♪ 754 00:44:49,260 --> 00:44:53,797 ♪ The dude ♪ 755 00:44:53,797 --> 00:44:57,470 ♪ He's the dude ♪ 756 00:44:57,470 --> 00:45:00,159 ♪ He thinks these clothes are less conspicuous ♪ 757 00:45:00,159 --> 00:45:02,969 ♪ Hate to see what he thinks is ridiculous ♪ 758 00:45:02,969 --> 00:45:05,457 ♪ Car ride full of itinerary pilgrims ♪ 759 00:45:05,457 --> 00:45:08,147 ♪ The smell of these sheep is the smell of these humans ♪ 760 00:45:08,147 --> 00:45:10,557 ♪ So now you're traveling incognito ♪ 761 00:45:10,557 --> 00:45:14,545 ♪ In a Mary Blue Fiat 5-0-0 ♪ 762 00:45:14,545 --> 00:45:15,585 ♪ Dude ♪ 763 00:45:15,585 --> 00:45:17,829 ♪ The dude ♪ 764 00:45:17,829 --> 00:45:20,629 ♪ You're the dude ♪ 765 00:45:20,629 --> 00:45:22,752 ♪ He's the dude ♪ 766 00:45:22,752 --> 00:45:26,479 - Where's the fire up on those threads? 767 00:45:26,479 --> 00:45:27,312 ♪ The dude ♪ 768 00:45:27,312 --> 00:45:30,360 - Oh, Gums is down for ride-a-long. 769 00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:35,360 - The more the merrier. ♪ He's the dude ♪ 770 00:45:36,429 --> 00:45:38,929 (jazzy music) 771 00:45:44,365 --> 00:45:46,902 ♪ All this chocolate cake ♪ 772 00:45:46,902 --> 00:45:50,042 ♪ Had enough sugar to make you shake ♪ 773 00:45:50,042 --> 00:45:53,328 ♪ Caramel icing tasted great ♪ 774 00:45:53,328 --> 00:45:56,862 ♪ On all this chocolate cake ♪ 775 00:45:56,862 --> 00:46:00,137 ♪ Well, all my aunts and uncles have died ♪ 776 00:46:00,137 --> 00:46:04,117 ♪ They all went to the other side ♪ 777 00:46:04,117 --> 00:46:07,096 ♪ When they got to the pearly gates ♪ 778 00:46:07,096 --> 00:46:10,839 ♪ Saint Peter handed them chocolate cake ♪ 779 00:46:10,839 --> 00:46:13,910 ♪ All this chocolate cake ♪ 780 00:46:13,910 --> 00:46:17,459 ♪ Had enough sugar to make you shake ♪ 781 00:46:17,459 --> 00:46:21,209 ♪ Caramel icing tasted great ♪ 782 00:46:29,070 --> 00:46:29,903 - This way. 783 00:46:32,019 --> 00:46:34,769 (peacock cawing) 784 00:46:39,924 --> 00:46:43,174 (phone jingle playing) 785 00:46:45,420 --> 00:46:46,500 Cardinal. 786 00:46:46,500 --> 00:46:49,884 This is Dimitri Leoni Dispuk Kamarazo. 787 00:46:49,884 --> 00:46:54,884 We are trapped in a field on a farm with two peacocks. 788 00:46:55,952 --> 00:46:58,785 (peacocks cawing) 789 00:47:00,030 --> 00:47:01,350 - These two dead batteries 790 00:47:01,350 --> 00:47:02,910 are afraid of a couple of peacocks. 791 00:47:02,910 --> 00:47:04,260 Where are there peacocks in Ohio? 792 00:47:04,260 --> 00:47:06,300 - Your Eminence, there are peacocks displaying 793 00:47:06,300 --> 00:47:09,600 all over Ohio, it's the mating season. 794 00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:10,800 - Dimitri. 795 00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:12,693 - Yeah, here, yes, Your Eminence. 796 00:47:14,550 --> 00:47:15,811 - Dimitri! 797 00:47:15,811 --> 00:47:16,980 - Tell him something smart. 798 00:47:16,980 --> 00:47:18,540 - Dimitri! 799 00:47:18,540 --> 00:47:19,860 - Here, it's Webus. 800 00:47:19,860 --> 00:47:22,380 - Who? - The other brother. 801 00:47:22,380 --> 00:47:24,630 - Webus, why are you in a field, 802 00:47:24,630 --> 00:47:27,543 a farm in the middle of nowhere with peacocks? 803 00:47:28,830 --> 00:47:30,540 - We had to pee. 804 00:47:30,540 --> 00:47:31,373 - Dimitri! 805 00:47:32,580 --> 00:47:33,413 Dimitri. 806 00:47:33,413 --> 00:47:34,710 - Yeah, yeah, yes. 807 00:47:34,710 --> 00:47:37,260 - Drive through the birds and catch up to the Pope. 808 00:47:38,130 --> 00:47:40,950 Dimitri, did you ever play capture the flag? 809 00:47:40,950 --> 00:47:42,090 - Well, yes, just last week. 810 00:47:42,090 --> 00:47:43,950 - Well, this is capture the Pope. 811 00:47:43,950 --> 00:47:45,528 Now get moving. 812 00:47:45,528 --> 00:47:48,361 (peacocks cawing) 813 00:48:09,330 --> 00:48:11,280 - So why doesn't the Church put its full weight 814 00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:12,903 behind making divorce illegal? 815 00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:16,950 - That is absurd. 816 00:48:16,950 --> 00:48:19,080 No country would pass it. 817 00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,120 - Well, not with that attitude. 818 00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:24,483 - That is temporal, we are spiritual. 819 00:48:25,513 --> 00:48:28,170 It is not our job to politic. 820 00:48:28,170 --> 00:48:31,533 - Unless the temporal is destroying the spiritual. 821 00:48:32,940 --> 00:48:34,440 Unless you show some fortitude, 822 00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:37,260 there'll be no one to hide our priests in their basement 823 00:48:37,260 --> 00:48:38,610 when the persecution comes. 824 00:48:38,610 --> 00:48:41,220 - You're being a little bit dramatic, don't you think? 825 00:48:41,220 --> 00:48:42,663 - Well, just think about it. 826 00:48:44,310 --> 00:48:46,743 - All right, I will. 827 00:48:48,653 --> 00:48:51,150 Now, can we stop? 828 00:48:51,150 --> 00:48:53,820 - Fine, no more discussion. 829 00:48:53,820 --> 00:48:55,950 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 830 00:48:55,950 --> 00:48:56,913 I have to go again. 831 00:48:57,750 --> 00:48:59,400 - Oh, okay. 832 00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:00,900 - Yes. 833 00:49:00,900 --> 00:49:02,160 - We're almost there. 834 00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:03,536 - Good. 835 00:49:03,536 --> 00:49:06,060 (grand music) 836 00:49:06,060 --> 00:49:09,840 - I'll be in the gift shop looking for a ball and chain. 837 00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:11,240 - I will be in the bathroom. 838 00:49:12,679 --> 00:49:15,429 (dramatic music) 839 00:49:25,050 --> 00:49:25,883 - Hello. 840 00:49:25,883 --> 00:49:27,060 - Hello, gentleman. 841 00:49:27,060 --> 00:49:28,413 - I know this man. 842 00:49:30,660 --> 00:49:31,690 - This is from. 843 00:49:34,803 --> 00:49:37,487 Pope in castle. - Pope in castle. 844 00:49:43,072 --> 00:49:44,340 Cardinal Cariott. 845 00:49:44,340 --> 00:49:47,100 This is Dimitri Leoni Disputin Kamarazo. 846 00:49:47,100 --> 00:49:48,903 - I know it's you, how are we doing? 847 00:49:50,130 --> 00:49:52,560 - We just see Pope, we are at Loveland Castle. 848 00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,180 The Pope just to go inside. 849 00:49:54,180 --> 00:49:55,470 - Excellent. 850 00:49:55,470 --> 00:49:58,053 Crush any resistance. 851 00:49:59,220 --> 00:50:03,210 It is imperative that you secure the Pope in the dungeon. 852 00:50:03,210 --> 00:50:05,193 All of Christendom is counting on you. 853 00:50:06,390 --> 00:50:08,817 - Yes, Your Eminence. 854 00:50:08,817 --> 00:50:11,910 - Let me know when you've succeeded. 855 00:50:11,910 --> 00:50:14,190 - Yes, Your Eminence, we go inside now. 856 00:50:14,190 --> 00:50:15,603 - Yeah, good. 857 00:50:18,390 --> 00:50:21,090 - You go that way. 858 00:50:21,090 --> 00:50:23,513 I go this other way. 859 00:50:23,513 --> 00:50:25,470 - But the Pope went straight. 860 00:50:25,470 --> 00:50:27,273 - This is too easy, could be trap. 861 00:50:28,628 --> 00:50:33,628 - Oh, Dimitri, this is why you are bigger brother. 862 00:50:34,752 --> 00:50:37,502 (dramatic music) 863 00:50:54,589 --> 00:50:57,256 (door clanking) 864 00:51:05,608 --> 00:51:08,070 - Do you know that we are on a mission 865 00:51:08,070 --> 00:51:10,143 to actually save someone? 866 00:51:11,310 --> 00:51:12,213 Actually two. 867 00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:17,853 - We are on mission to save all the Christendom. 868 00:51:19,530 --> 00:51:21,120 - Who told you that? 869 00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:23,880 - Cardinal Cariott sent us. 870 00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:28,560 You have to stay here in dungeon and pray reparations, 871 00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:32,613 one day for every bad priest in last 100 years. 872 00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:34,620 - He said that? 873 00:51:34,620 --> 00:51:36,927 - Yes, Your Popalness. 874 00:51:38,393 --> 00:51:42,810 - Do you know that I am deathly allergic to mold? 875 00:51:42,810 --> 00:51:43,643 - No. 876 00:51:44,868 --> 00:51:47,790 - How long do you think I would live 877 00:51:47,790 --> 00:51:49,953 if locked away in a moldy dungeon? 878 00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:54,873 - One day for every bad priest in last 100 years. 879 00:51:56,250 --> 00:51:57,083 - Lower. 880 00:51:58,140 --> 00:51:59,640 - Six months. 881 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:00,473 - Lower yet. 882 00:52:02,340 --> 00:52:03,810 - Six days? 883 00:52:03,810 --> 00:52:04,953 - Perhaps. 884 00:52:05,970 --> 00:52:09,810 And Cardinal Cariott put you up to this? 885 00:52:09,810 --> 00:52:12,780 - But he never told us you would die. 886 00:52:12,780 --> 00:52:14,673 This would be evil. 887 00:52:16,830 --> 00:52:20,340 - My son, there are enemies both outside 888 00:52:20,340 --> 00:52:22,443 and inside the Church. 889 00:52:23,351 --> 00:52:25,623 This is one of those times. 890 00:52:27,750 --> 00:52:30,360 When was the last time you went to confession? 891 00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,973 - Oh, I don't remember. 892 00:52:34,500 --> 00:52:36,903 The last time Mama made us go. 893 00:52:39,821 --> 00:52:41,433 - You are such a bright boy. 894 00:52:43,230 --> 00:52:45,370 Come, sit down here 895 00:52:55,576 --> 00:52:56,576 and tell me. 896 00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:08,700 - Where is my brother? 897 00:53:08,700 --> 00:53:10,500 - The Pope's hearing his confession. 898 00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:13,410 - Well, I must get in. 899 00:53:13,410 --> 00:53:14,283 We have mission. 900 00:53:15,150 --> 00:53:15,983 - Oh yeah, well, so do I. 901 00:53:17,670 --> 00:53:19,110 You're not gonna stop mine. 902 00:53:19,110 --> 00:53:22,650 - But Cardinal Cariott say we have to save Church. 903 00:53:22,650 --> 00:53:24,310 - The Church always needs renewal 904 00:53:25,260 --> 00:53:27,410 and the Holy Spirit is taking care of that. 905 00:53:32,456 --> 00:53:33,687 - Okay. 906 00:53:33,687 --> 00:53:36,437 (dramatic music) 907 00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:42,033 - From now on, your name is no longer Webus. 908 00:53:43,470 --> 00:53:46,773 It is Aloysius, your Christian name. 909 00:53:47,910 --> 00:53:48,743 - Thank you. 910 00:53:49,736 --> 00:53:50,970 I never liked Webus. 911 00:53:50,970 --> 00:53:53,673 - Nobody liked Webus, everyone hated it. 912 00:53:55,663 --> 00:53:57,270 Now, are you ready to have some fun? 913 00:53:57,270 --> 00:53:58,173 - Oh yes. 914 00:53:59,720 --> 00:54:01,464 - Now play along with me, huh? 915 00:54:01,464 --> 00:54:02,816 - Okay. 916 00:54:02,816 --> 00:54:03,983 - Ready? - Yes. 917 00:54:05,613 --> 00:54:06,863 - You did what? 918 00:54:09,406 --> 00:54:10,906 - Stay right here. 919 00:54:11,912 --> 00:54:14,579 (both laughing) 920 00:54:18,790 --> 00:54:23,708 - Now, quickly, go and get your brother and bring him in. 921 00:54:23,708 --> 00:54:25,208 - [Aloysius] Yeah. 922 00:54:26,853 --> 00:54:29,520 (door creaking) 923 00:54:36,814 --> 00:54:39,564 (dramatic music) 924 00:54:42,150 --> 00:54:42,983 - Sit. 925 00:54:49,050 --> 00:54:51,603 I am going to ask you the same thing. 926 00:54:53,670 --> 00:54:55,983 When was the last time you went to confession? 927 00:55:00,720 --> 00:55:02,670 - I do not remember. 928 00:55:02,670 --> 00:55:05,283 - That is correct, you do not remember. 929 00:55:07,050 --> 00:55:12,050 Whisper in my ear what you wish to confess. 930 00:55:26,225 --> 00:55:30,142 - I like "Die Hard 2" better than "Die Hard 1." 931 00:55:37,406 --> 00:55:38,406 - Very well. 932 00:55:39,770 --> 00:55:42,810 Do you have a firm purpose of making amends? 933 00:55:42,810 --> 00:55:45,363 - Oh yes, Your Holiness, yes. 934 00:55:46,350 --> 00:55:49,680 - Then I absolve you from your sins. 935 00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:54,003 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 936 00:55:56,580 --> 00:56:01,580 - But Your Holiness, should I not have penance? 937 00:56:04,410 --> 00:56:09,167 - Dimitri, your penance is to call Cardinal Cariott 938 00:56:10,047 --> 00:56:14,553 and tell him that everything is well here in the castle. 939 00:56:16,919 --> 00:56:19,586 (both laughing) 940 00:56:24,900 --> 00:56:25,803 - Watch this. 941 00:56:28,693 --> 00:56:30,633 This is going to be good. 942 00:56:35,190 --> 00:56:40,190 Your Eminence, this is Dimitri Leoni Dispuk Kamarazo again. 943 00:56:41,700 --> 00:56:43,713 - I know who it is. 944 00:56:46,650 --> 00:56:51,650 - I wish to report that Pope is secure in Loveland Castle. 945 00:56:52,860 --> 00:56:54,630 - Excellent. 946 00:56:54,630 --> 00:56:57,210 You both get a gold star. 947 00:56:57,210 --> 00:57:00,660 Now, lay low, make yourself scarce. 948 00:57:00,660 --> 00:57:02,100 Don't call me. 949 00:57:02,100 --> 00:57:03,090 If you have any trouble, 950 00:57:03,090 --> 00:57:07,200 I will disavow all knowledge of your actions, capeesh? 951 00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,060 - Yes, Your Eminence. 952 00:57:09,060 --> 00:57:09,893 - Good. 953 00:57:11,565 --> 00:57:13,739 (both laughing) 954 00:57:13,739 --> 00:57:16,413 - Excellent, excellent. 955 00:57:17,310 --> 00:57:22,310 How do you feel about becoming my bodyguards? 956 00:57:25,530 --> 00:57:28,893 - It would be honor of Dimitri life. 957 00:57:30,750 --> 00:57:31,583 - Good. 958 00:57:32,497 --> 00:57:34,110 (both laughing) 959 00:57:34,110 --> 00:57:36,450 - I love it when a plan comes together. 960 00:57:36,450 --> 00:57:38,763 - I wonder what name I should pick. 961 00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:41,490 Bartholomew. - Bartholomew. 962 00:57:41,490 --> 00:57:45,393 - Oh, Senor, birds of a feather fly together. 963 00:57:47,415 --> 00:57:48,248 Woo! 964 00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:55,093 - One down and two to go. 965 00:57:56,457 --> 00:57:58,080 Ah, and here they are. 966 00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,410 These two gentlemen are my new bodyguards. 967 00:58:01,410 --> 00:58:05,640 Michael, where can they go to wait for us? 968 00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:06,473 - Hmm. 969 00:58:07,650 --> 00:58:10,230 Well, if they like ice cream, 970 00:58:10,230 --> 00:58:12,783 there's a Whippy Dip down by the freeway. 971 00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:15,233 - Whippy Dip? 972 00:58:16,500 --> 00:58:17,850 No matter. 973 00:58:17,850 --> 00:58:20,280 You two brothers go down there and wait for us 974 00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:22,180 and we'll pick you up on the way back. 975 00:58:24,870 --> 00:58:26,850 - Shall we do what we came here for? 976 00:58:26,850 --> 00:58:29,073 - Yes, let's do it. 977 00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:32,516 I am anxious to meet these two. 978 00:58:32,516 --> 00:58:35,183 (Pope knocking) 979 00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:46,357 - You're him? 980 00:58:48,270 --> 00:58:49,113 - Yes, my dear. 981 00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:51,953 - Oh my. 982 00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:57,393 I'm not worthy to have you enter under my roof. 983 00:58:59,910 --> 00:59:04,053 - Just say the word and I will. 984 00:59:06,613 --> 00:59:07,446 - Word? 985 00:59:09,344 --> 00:59:11,927 (gentle music) 986 00:59:45,802 --> 00:59:48,900 (Beth laughing, snorting) 987 00:59:48,900 --> 00:59:51,123 David, there's someone here to see you. 988 00:59:53,940 --> 00:59:55,590 - Did mail come? 989 00:59:55,590 --> 00:59:58,413 - No, somebody else showed up. 990 01:00:00,750 --> 01:00:02,370 - Oh crap. 991 01:00:02,370 --> 01:00:04,080 Are you kidding me? 992 01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:06,090 A celebrity look-a-like. 993 01:00:06,090 --> 01:00:07,470 This is Michael's doing, isn't it? 994 01:00:07,470 --> 01:00:09,869 - You know that can't be. 995 01:00:09,869 --> 01:00:11,543 - Oh, contrar. 996 01:00:11,543 --> 01:00:16,413 Michael drove me here and told me the whole story. 997 01:00:17,820 --> 01:00:18,690 - He what? - He what? 998 01:00:18,690 --> 01:00:21,180 - He drove us all the way from Cleveland, 999 01:00:21,180 --> 01:00:26,180 me and Michael, Spiro, Jesse, and Gums and Roses. 1000 01:00:27,420 --> 01:00:30,573 And we had a couple of close calls along the way too. 1001 01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:35,250 - Now I'm sure he's an imposter. 1002 01:00:35,250 --> 01:00:38,190 - I assure you I am the Pope. 1003 01:00:38,190 --> 01:00:39,930 - I think he is. 1004 01:00:39,930 --> 01:00:41,700 - No way. 1005 01:00:41,700 --> 01:00:44,760 Why would the Pope come alone to Cincinnati? 1006 01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:47,730 In fact, how could he come alone? 1007 01:00:47,730 --> 01:00:51,120 Doesn't he always have an entourage with him or something? 1008 01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:56,120 - Really, David, I am the Pope. 1009 01:00:58,350 --> 01:01:00,883 Non illegitimi carborundum. 1010 01:01:02,181 --> 01:01:03,027 - Huh? 1011 01:01:03,027 --> 01:01:06,270 (Pope speaking in foreign language) 1012 01:01:06,270 --> 01:01:07,380 - Come again? 1013 01:01:07,380 --> 01:01:11,203 - I am still the Pope and you are not. 1014 01:01:13,290 --> 01:01:16,380 - No, I am not and neither are you. 1015 01:01:16,380 --> 01:01:17,310 I'm David. 1016 01:01:17,310 --> 01:01:18,143 I don't know who you, 1017 01:01:18,143 --> 01:01:19,681 do you have a picture or resume or something. 1018 01:01:19,681 --> 01:01:21,030 - Eh, eh, eh, eh. 1019 01:01:21,030 --> 01:01:22,923 I am telling you the truth. 1020 01:01:23,910 --> 01:01:28,380 Michael kidnapped me and drove me here today. 1021 01:01:28,380 --> 01:01:30,453 - That's really impossible. 1022 01:01:31,352 --> 01:01:32,185 (Pope speaking in foreign language) 1023 01:01:32,185 --> 01:01:34,170 - Oh, a Pope who's into the Talking Heads. 1024 01:01:35,460 --> 01:01:37,623 - Michael died six months ago. 1025 01:01:40,708 --> 01:01:43,860 - Now I found him kneeling in front of our mailbox, 1026 01:01:43,860 --> 01:01:45,060 stalker 'till the end. 1027 01:01:45,060 --> 01:01:46,920 - Stalkers don't have candles and a rosary 1028 01:01:46,920 --> 01:01:48,063 in their hands, David. 1029 01:01:49,050 --> 01:01:51,330 - Then who drove me? 1030 01:01:51,330 --> 01:01:53,550 - Call your agent, ask him. 1031 01:01:53,550 --> 01:01:55,310 - Wait a minute. 1032 01:01:55,310 --> 01:01:58,260 I can prove I am telling the truth. 1033 01:01:58,260 --> 01:02:03,260 Michael told me something that only a husband would know. 1034 01:02:23,190 --> 01:02:24,573 - How did you know that? 1035 01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:28,983 - Michael told me so you would believe. 1036 01:02:30,900 --> 01:02:35,900 - Okay, suppose you are the real Pope, why are you here? 1037 01:02:36,570 --> 01:02:37,533 - Why? 1038 01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:42,330 I am here to invite you to join the Church. 1039 01:02:42,330 --> 01:02:45,270 Isn't that what you said it would take? 1040 01:02:45,270 --> 01:02:46,103 - No. 1041 01:02:46,103 --> 01:02:49,230 - Yes, don't lie to the Pope. 1042 01:02:49,230 --> 01:02:52,413 - Actually, I'm here for you too, my dear. 1043 01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:58,710 My predecessors made a big effort to invite people 1044 01:02:58,710 --> 01:03:03,060 who have been divorced and remarried with no annulment 1045 01:03:03,060 --> 01:03:08,060 to come back to Communion in certain circumstances. 1046 01:03:10,740 --> 01:03:11,573 Why didn't you? 1047 01:03:14,450 --> 01:03:15,533 - I couldn't. 1048 01:03:17,088 --> 01:03:17,921 - Why? 1049 01:03:20,850 --> 01:03:23,700 - Because no matter what anyone says, 1050 01:03:23,700 --> 01:03:28,683 I knew it was wrong because we didn't get an annulment. 1051 01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:34,740 - Okay buddy, you are outta here. 1052 01:03:34,740 --> 01:03:35,573 - David. 1053 01:03:36,510 --> 01:03:40,770 - Okay, fine, do whatever you want with this imposter. 1054 01:03:40,770 --> 01:03:43,830 - Would you like for me to take your confession, my dear? 1055 01:03:43,830 --> 01:03:44,793 - Yes, I would. 1056 01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:47,883 - Oh my God. 1057 01:03:49,170 --> 01:03:50,003 Gosh. 1058 01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:09,063 - Bless me, Father. 1059 01:04:11,130 --> 01:04:12,003 - Go on, my dear. 1060 01:04:14,850 --> 01:04:15,683 - I forgot. 1061 01:04:21,030 --> 01:04:24,413 - Tell me your sins and we'll go from there. 1062 01:04:30,300 --> 01:04:31,260 - David. 1063 01:04:31,260 --> 01:04:32,100 (Davis snorting) 1064 01:04:32,100 --> 01:04:36,093 Is there anything else you need to tell me about all this? 1065 01:04:37,860 --> 01:04:38,693 - No. 1066 01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:41,553 - Nothing at all since Michael died? 1067 01:04:42,990 --> 01:04:43,823 - No. 1068 01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:50,250 - You never told me how we managed to pay off all the bills 1069 01:04:50,250 --> 01:04:54,030 and the mortgage and then go on vacation. 1070 01:04:54,030 --> 01:04:56,250 One day you were on a ledge and the next 1071 01:04:56,250 --> 01:04:57,963 you were whistling Dixie. 1072 01:05:01,620 --> 01:05:03,703 He left me money, didn't he? 1073 01:05:05,247 --> 01:05:09,400 - Oh, he left us a little, you a little. 1074 01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:10,317 - How much? 1075 01:05:11,715 --> 01:05:12,715 - 1,200,000. 1076 01:05:14,170 --> 01:05:15,253 - $1,200,000. 1077 01:05:17,763 --> 01:05:22,763 - Actually it was $1,206,856 to be exact, 1078 01:05:27,560 --> 01:05:29,823 plus house next door. 1079 01:05:33,030 --> 01:05:35,970 - He owned the house next door with all the lights 1080 01:05:35,970 --> 01:05:37,263 and you didn't tell me. 1081 01:05:38,370 --> 01:05:41,054 - I was trying to protect you. 1082 01:05:41,054 --> 01:05:42,666 - Protect me? 1083 01:05:42,666 --> 01:05:43,499 Protect? 1084 01:05:43,499 --> 01:05:46,680 David Paul Sheba, I swear I am going to- 1085 01:05:46,680 --> 01:05:48,360 - Beth, Beth. 1086 01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:53,360 - At times like this, it is best to do something normal. 1087 01:06:05,369 --> 01:06:07,543 (dinosaur roaring) 1088 01:06:07,543 --> 01:06:10,960 (Beth and Pope laughing) 1089 01:06:13,093 --> 01:06:16,426 - [TV Voice] Bad dinosaur, bad dinosaur. 1090 01:06:17,448 --> 01:06:20,514 (dinosaur belching) 1091 01:06:20,514 --> 01:06:21,971 (Pope screaming) - Oh! 1092 01:06:21,971 --> 01:06:24,930 It's okay, it's just his CPAP. 1093 01:06:24,930 --> 01:06:26,223 He has to clean it. 1094 01:06:27,150 --> 01:06:29,317 - What are you guys watching? 1095 01:06:29,317 --> 01:06:30,267 - "Godzilla." 1096 01:06:31,748 --> 01:06:33,690 - Beth. 1097 01:06:33,690 --> 01:06:36,750 Come, it's funny, bring your mask. 1098 01:06:36,750 --> 01:06:38,636 - I've seen it, it is funny. 1099 01:06:38,636 --> 01:06:39,690 (David and Pope laughing) 1100 01:06:39,690 --> 01:06:42,930 Sweetheart, how long are you guys gonna be? 1101 01:06:42,930 --> 01:06:44,523 - Now I'm a sweetheart. 1102 01:06:47,332 --> 01:06:48,993 - I better go. 1103 01:06:50,794 --> 01:06:52,860 - No, don't go, it's early. 1104 01:06:52,860 --> 01:06:57,233 - Yes, you two have some things to work out. 1105 01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:04,890 - Thanks for coming, best practical joke ever. 1106 01:07:04,890 --> 01:07:05,723 - David. 1107 01:07:07,635 --> 01:07:10,770 - [TV Voice] Is that more beer? Great, more beer. 1108 01:07:10,770 --> 01:07:13,233 - I never knew you could get them in cherry. 1109 01:07:15,450 --> 01:07:17,733 - This chocolate is money. 1110 01:07:18,971 --> 01:07:21,554 (bright music) 1111 01:07:29,460 --> 01:07:30,573 - You want a dip top? 1112 01:07:31,770 --> 01:07:33,240 - What is a dip top? 1113 01:07:33,240 --> 01:07:34,173 - What he's got. 1114 01:07:35,130 --> 01:07:39,270 Soft ice cream, hard shell top. 1115 01:07:39,270 --> 01:07:42,003 I'd start with the classic chocolate on vanilla. 1116 01:07:43,757 --> 01:07:47,116 - Ah, the Whippy Dip. 1117 01:07:47,116 --> 01:07:48,333 - Yeah. 1118 01:07:48,333 --> 01:07:51,633 - I'll have chocolate on chocolate with sprinkles. 1119 01:07:53,490 --> 01:07:56,103 - Jessie, Gums. 1120 01:07:57,930 --> 01:07:59,730 - Yeah, we'll both have the classic. 1121 01:08:01,287 --> 01:08:04,037 (heavenly music) 1122 01:08:08,177 --> 01:08:09,320 (camera shutter clicks) 1123 01:08:09,320 --> 01:08:11,987 (Pope laughing) 1124 01:08:19,950 --> 01:08:20,783 - Well, I'll be. 1125 01:08:26,460 --> 01:08:28,650 - It's getting too late to drive back tonight 1126 01:08:28,650 --> 01:08:30,900 so you guys sack out in the cars. 1127 01:08:30,900 --> 01:08:33,120 The Pope and I have a quick run in the morning 1128 01:08:33,120 --> 01:08:34,830 before we head back. 1129 01:08:34,830 --> 01:08:36,360 - We do? 1130 01:08:36,360 --> 01:08:37,813 - Yeah, we do. 1131 01:08:42,019 --> 01:08:44,019 - Are you the Archangel? 1132 01:08:46,348 --> 01:08:47,961 - No. 1133 01:08:47,961 --> 01:08:49,403 You don't see any wings, do ya? 1134 01:08:50,550 --> 01:08:51,390 - No. 1135 01:08:51,390 --> 01:08:52,503 - I'm just a trainee. 1136 01:08:53,400 --> 01:08:54,233 Second class. 1137 01:08:55,369 --> 01:08:57,952 (gentle music) 1138 01:09:15,342 --> 01:09:17,850 - [Beth] I'm going over there in the morning. 1139 01:09:17,850 --> 01:09:19,320 - [David] Good, you can find out 1140 01:09:19,320 --> 01:09:21,420 what he was doing back there in the trees. 1141 01:09:23,790 --> 01:09:27,120 - [Beth] So you did know what those lights were that I saw? 1142 01:09:27,120 --> 01:09:28,530 - [David] No, I didn't. 1143 01:09:28,530 --> 01:09:31,080 I knew he was up to something back there. 1144 01:09:31,080 --> 01:09:33,293 - [Beth] Oh, this just gets better and better. 1145 01:09:37,530 --> 01:09:39,753 The birth mark on my thigh. 1146 01:09:41,460 --> 01:09:42,460 - [David] Your what? 1147 01:09:44,160 --> 01:09:45,710 - [Beth] Michael told the Pope. 1148 01:09:47,190 --> 01:09:48,633 The Pope told me. 1149 01:09:51,360 --> 01:09:53,710 - [David] Even when he's dead, he's in our bed. 1150 01:09:58,890 --> 01:10:00,630 - How'd I not know you were this close 1151 01:10:00,630 --> 01:10:02,103 those last few months? 1152 01:10:05,550 --> 01:10:08,986 How could I let you die all alone? 1153 01:10:08,986 --> 01:10:11,569 (somber music) 1154 01:10:17,136 --> 01:10:20,053 (door clicks shut) 1155 01:10:33,896 --> 01:10:37,350 Michael, I thought you were gone. 1156 01:10:40,230 --> 01:10:43,530 - How do you know that you won't save your spouse 1157 01:10:43,530 --> 01:10:47,160 with your steadfast example of faith, hope and love? 1158 01:10:55,822 --> 01:10:57,332 - Michael? 1159 01:10:57,332 --> 01:11:00,712 (upbeat music) 1160 01:11:00,712 --> 01:11:01,545 Michael. 1161 01:11:13,814 --> 01:11:18,814 ♪ Thinking of your tender touch ♪ 1162 01:11:21,474 --> 01:11:26,474 ♪ Must have loved you far too much ♪ 1163 01:11:27,794 --> 01:11:32,794 ♪ And I, I keep hoping that some day ♪ 1164 01:11:36,984 --> 01:11:41,984 ♪ You'll walk the path that leads my way ♪ 1165 01:11:44,420 --> 01:11:47,460 ♪ You'll walk the path that leads my way ♪ 1166 01:11:47,460 --> 01:11:48,933 - Oh, magnificent. 1167 01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:54,633 Michael, you built this for me. 1168 01:11:58,668 --> 01:12:01,251 (gentle music) 1169 01:12:04,890 --> 01:12:06,753 Why do you love me so much? 1170 01:12:18,900 --> 01:12:21,903 I've never felt closer to you than I do right now. 1171 01:12:25,320 --> 01:12:26,943 Michael, I am sorry. 1172 01:12:29,340 --> 01:12:30,293 I'm so sorry. 1173 01:12:31,449 --> 01:12:34,866 (gentle music continues) 1174 01:12:50,066 --> 01:12:51,316 - [David] Beth? 1175 01:12:54,690 --> 01:12:55,863 - Amazing, isn't it? 1176 01:12:57,510 --> 01:12:58,800 - Statue, aah. 1177 01:13:01,050 --> 01:13:03,243 - It's always the men who resent her. 1178 01:13:05,250 --> 01:13:06,303 But the women get it. 1179 01:13:07,860 --> 01:13:10,410 - Well, I don't. 1180 01:13:10,410 --> 01:13:11,403 So she had a kid. 1181 01:13:20,080 --> 01:13:24,810 - I don't think you can make this journey with me. 1182 01:13:24,810 --> 01:13:26,560 Michael didn't cheat on me, did he? 1183 01:13:29,440 --> 01:13:30,993 - No. 1184 01:13:30,993 --> 01:13:34,293 - Then it was you, just like he said. 1185 01:13:36,180 --> 01:13:37,320 He wouldn't lie for you, 1186 01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:39,660 so you came after me to get even. 1187 01:13:39,660 --> 01:13:41,700 - I came after you 'cause I wanted you 1188 01:13:41,700 --> 01:13:44,340 more than anything in my life. 1189 01:13:44,340 --> 01:13:47,580 And don't get on your high horse about what I did. 1190 01:13:47,580 --> 01:13:49,590 You wanted to leave him. 1191 01:13:49,590 --> 01:13:50,580 - What? 1192 01:13:50,580 --> 01:13:52,893 - You turned so easily. 1193 01:13:53,940 --> 01:13:54,960 Don't blame me. 1194 01:13:54,960 --> 01:13:56,160 You got what you wanted. 1195 01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:58,683 - I want my soul back. 1196 01:13:59,760 --> 01:14:02,210 And I want a husband who wants his soul back too. 1197 01:14:03,450 --> 01:14:07,953 - Babe, you are so not getting that. 1198 01:14:09,420 --> 01:14:13,530 You want something that I never promised. 1199 01:14:13,530 --> 01:14:15,123 You changed, not me. 1200 01:14:17,490 --> 01:14:18,323 - Then go. 1201 01:14:20,400 --> 01:14:23,853 - Look, Beth, I. 1202 01:14:24,930 --> 01:14:29,583 I'm no good at, you know, religious stuff. 1203 01:14:30,990 --> 01:14:34,800 Forgive me if I would do anything to have you for myself. 1204 01:14:34,800 --> 01:14:36,120 - It was wrong. 1205 01:14:36,120 --> 01:14:37,620 - He broke the guy code. 1206 01:14:37,620 --> 01:14:39,600 - The one where you lie and cheat for men 1207 01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:41,250 who lie and cheat on their wives? 1208 01:14:44,250 --> 01:14:45,723 - Sounded better in my head. 1209 01:14:47,880 --> 01:14:50,770 - There's a thin line between love and hate 1210 01:14:52,170 --> 01:14:55,323 and right now you're on the wrong side of it. 1211 01:14:56,220 --> 01:14:57,720 - What do you want? 1212 01:14:57,720 --> 01:14:59,403 - To keep your word. 1213 01:15:00,720 --> 01:15:02,580 The Pope came. 1214 01:15:02,580 --> 01:15:06,810 Oh my God, the flippin' Pope came to our house 1215 01:15:06,810 --> 01:15:09,183 to offer you a personal invitation. 1216 01:15:10,590 --> 01:15:15,183 Get an annulment, marry me in the Church, 1217 01:15:18,660 --> 01:15:20,313 and don't be such a prick. 1218 01:15:28,860 --> 01:15:29,703 - All right. 1219 01:15:31,500 --> 01:15:32,433 I'll try. 1220 01:15:33,949 --> 01:15:36,699 (dramatic music) 1221 01:15:55,860 --> 01:15:56,760 - And there it is. 1222 01:15:58,950 --> 01:15:59,783 Finally. 1223 01:16:02,790 --> 01:16:03,663 I'm crushed, 1224 01:16:05,280 --> 01:16:06,183 like Jesus. 1225 01:16:11,100 --> 01:16:14,883 - Loving your enemies is never easy. 1226 01:16:17,760 --> 01:16:19,473 - They were never my enemies. 1227 01:16:24,690 --> 01:16:28,023 - I spy something blue. 1228 01:16:32,580 --> 01:16:34,830 - Ha, the dashboard. 1229 01:16:34,830 --> 01:16:36,387 - He got it the first try. 1230 01:16:38,010 --> 01:16:39,780 - Too bad it's not at night. 1231 01:16:39,780 --> 01:16:41,730 We could play padiddle. - Oh, yeah. 1232 01:16:41,730 --> 01:16:42,563 - Poodle? 1233 01:16:43,920 --> 01:16:45,183 - Let's sing. 1234 01:16:47,429 --> 01:16:48,262 - Oh. 1235 01:16:48,262 --> 01:16:53,262 ♪ Well I went to Cincinnati and I walked around the block ♪ 1236 01:16:53,915 --> 01:16:57,346 ♪ And I walked right into a bakery shop ♪ 1237 01:16:57,346 --> 01:17:02,273 ♪ And I picked up a donut hot out of the grease ♪ 1238 01:17:02,273 --> 01:17:06,057 ♪ And I handed the baker off five cent piece ♪ 1239 01:17:06,057 --> 01:17:11,057 ♪ Well he looked at the nickel and he looked at me ♪ 1240 01:17:11,791 --> 01:17:15,067 ♪ And he said, Young man, it is plain to see ♪ 1241 01:17:15,067 --> 01:17:18,341 ♪ There was a hole in the nickel and it goes right through ♪ 1242 01:17:18,341 --> 01:17:22,191 ♪ Said I, There's a hole in your donut too ♪ 1243 01:17:22,191 --> 01:17:25,008 ♪ Thanks for a donut tap, tap ♪ 1244 01:17:25,008 --> 01:17:27,150 (Michael laughing) 1245 01:17:27,150 --> 01:17:30,667 - So where do donut holes come from? 1246 01:17:30,667 --> 01:17:33,250 (all laughing) 1247 01:17:35,583 --> 01:17:36,583 Donut holes. 1248 01:17:38,430 --> 01:17:41,253 - Papa, how are you enjoying your trip? 1249 01:17:42,395 --> 01:17:45,033 - Well, it was unbelievable. 1250 01:17:48,960 --> 01:17:51,481 And by that I mean no one will ever believe me. 1251 01:17:51,481 --> 01:17:53,087 (all laughing) 1252 01:17:53,087 --> 01:17:53,937 - Don't even try. 1253 01:17:55,770 --> 01:18:00,770 - You know, I understand why Michael has kidnapped me. 1254 01:18:01,860 --> 01:18:06,063 I don't understand what you guys are doing here. 1255 01:18:10,860 --> 01:18:12,690 - We need you to right the ship. 1256 01:18:12,690 --> 01:18:14,823 - He wants you to call a council. 1257 01:18:17,040 --> 01:18:21,060 - Three months in and you are asking me 1258 01:18:21,060 --> 01:18:26,060 to do something that only happens every 300 years? 1259 01:18:27,810 --> 01:18:30,225 I'll die before it's even over. 1260 01:18:30,225 --> 01:18:31,629 - Over? 1261 01:18:31,629 --> 01:18:32,891 Over? 1262 01:18:32,891 --> 01:18:36,450 It ain't over 'till we say it's over! 1263 01:18:36,450 --> 01:18:37,893 - Nicely said. 1264 01:18:39,960 --> 01:18:43,050 - Oh, I cannot lead something that big. 1265 01:18:43,050 --> 01:18:44,523 I would lose control. 1266 01:18:46,890 --> 01:18:51,243 And the Church, the Church would be destroyed. 1267 01:18:53,910 --> 01:18:55,081 - Call it. 1268 01:18:55,081 --> 01:18:57,998 (thunder crashing) 1269 01:18:59,730 --> 01:19:01,353 - You just had to ask. 1270 01:19:16,620 --> 01:19:18,120 - We gotta go. 1271 01:19:18,120 --> 01:19:19,570 - Catch you when I come back. 1272 01:19:26,776 --> 01:19:29,526 (dramatic music) 1273 01:19:42,480 --> 01:19:43,313 - Hit me. 1274 01:19:44,610 --> 01:19:45,443 - Why? 1275 01:19:47,060 --> 01:19:48,227 - Just hit me. 1276 01:19:50,048 --> 01:19:51,483 - Okay. 1277 01:19:51,483 --> 01:19:52,316 - Ow. 1278 01:19:53,954 --> 01:19:55,037 - It's okay. 1279 01:19:57,823 --> 01:20:02,823 I was hoping it was a dream, but clearly I'm awake. 1280 01:20:04,350 --> 01:20:05,580 - Well, you did get a nice nap in 1281 01:20:05,580 --> 01:20:07,113 from Chillicothe to Wooster. 1282 01:20:09,840 --> 01:20:12,243 Hey, thank you. 1283 01:20:13,800 --> 01:20:16,083 Two down, eight billion to go. 1284 01:20:18,030 --> 01:20:19,713 - Just doing my job. 1285 01:20:22,890 --> 01:20:25,337 Oh and about Beth and David. 1286 01:20:27,060 --> 01:20:30,826 With enemies like you, who needs friends? 1287 01:20:30,826 --> 01:20:33,180 (both laughing) 1288 01:20:33,180 --> 01:20:34,013 - Oh, 1289 01:20:35,580 --> 01:20:37,780 where I'm going, I won't need these anymore. 1290 01:20:42,600 --> 01:20:47,373 - Dimitri, Aloysius, get my things. 1291 01:20:51,660 --> 01:20:52,680 - I carry. 1292 01:20:52,680 --> 01:20:54,127 - No, no, no, you drop too much, I carry. 1293 01:20:54,127 --> 01:20:57,417 - I am bigger brother, carry hat. 1294 01:20:57,417 --> 01:20:59,250 - Ooh, camera, camera. 1295 01:21:01,370 --> 01:21:03,153 Here, you take picture. 1296 01:21:05,640 --> 01:21:07,829 America. - America. 1297 01:21:07,829 --> 01:21:11,162 (camera shutter clicks) 1298 01:21:14,090 --> 01:21:16,410 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1299 01:21:16,410 --> 01:21:19,263 I go that way, you go this way. 1300 01:21:19,263 --> 01:21:21,031 - Why don't we just go straight in? 1301 01:21:21,031 --> 01:21:22,020 - Oh, no, no, no, no. 1302 01:21:22,020 --> 01:21:24,693 He's too easy, could be trap. 1303 01:21:25,770 --> 01:21:27,120 - Getting good, my brother. 1304 01:21:31,830 --> 01:21:32,663 - You did. 1305 01:21:37,798 --> 01:21:40,298 (grand music) 1306 01:22:06,266 --> 01:22:07,358 Did you miss me? 1307 01:22:07,358 --> 01:22:08,789 (press laughing) 1308 01:22:08,789 --> 01:22:10,894 Sit, sit, sit, sit. 1309 01:22:10,894 --> 01:22:12,014 - Were you kidnapped? 1310 01:22:12,014 --> 01:22:13,857 - I know you would like to know where I was 1311 01:22:13,857 --> 01:22:17,823 and what I was doing, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, 1312 01:22:19,380 --> 01:22:22,710 but all I can really tell you is that everything 1313 01:22:22,710 --> 01:22:26,523 that I was doing is under the seal of confession. 1314 01:22:27,720 --> 01:22:30,990 So how do you say I scuffed some wine 1315 01:22:30,990 --> 01:22:32,433 to take back to the Vatican? 1316 01:22:34,950 --> 01:22:39,067 Yes, Ohio wine is a very good wine, no? 1317 01:22:39,067 --> 01:22:41,476 (all laughing) 1318 01:22:41,476 --> 01:22:42,309 Ah, he knows. 1319 01:22:43,260 --> 01:22:48,260 And sometimes I feel like I'm the only cowboy in Ohio today. 1320 01:22:48,364 --> 01:22:51,720 (press laughing) 1321 01:22:51,720 --> 01:22:55,623 Comedy is easy, dying is hard. 1322 01:22:56,670 --> 01:22:59,130 - Why won't the Church get with the times? 1323 01:22:59,130 --> 01:23:03,270 - Why want the times get with the Church? 1324 01:23:03,270 --> 01:23:04,680 - Your Holiness, what are you doing 1325 01:23:04,680 --> 01:23:07,230 about the scandals within the Church? 1326 01:23:07,230 --> 01:23:10,413 - There will always be scandals in the Church. 1327 01:23:11,460 --> 01:23:16,460 The Institution is divine, but the people in it are not. 1328 01:23:20,310 --> 01:23:23,640 We must do everything we can to heal the victims 1329 01:23:23,640 --> 01:23:24,723 of our sins. 1330 01:23:25,683 --> 01:23:30,240 The real scandal is the hierarchy protecting itself 1331 01:23:30,240 --> 01:23:33,420 while the sheep are slaughtered, 1332 01:23:33,420 --> 01:23:37,530 which is precisely why the Church has real standards for us 1333 01:23:37,530 --> 01:23:41,853 to be judged objectively by when we sin. 1334 01:23:43,080 --> 01:23:47,883 The devil, the devil loves to turn a priest, why? 1335 01:23:49,140 --> 01:23:54,140 Because he knows he can take so many others with him. 1336 01:23:55,507 --> 01:23:59,010 But there are hundreds and thousands of priests 1337 01:23:59,010 --> 01:24:04,010 who have given their lives to the sheep and have not fallen. 1338 01:24:07,350 --> 01:24:10,950 We must say thank you to them every day, 1339 01:24:10,950 --> 01:24:13,358 every time we see them. 1340 01:24:13,358 --> 01:24:16,020 - But what are you going to do yourself? 1341 01:24:16,020 --> 01:24:18,273 - Believe in our Lord Savior Jesus Christ. 1342 01:24:19,710 --> 01:24:21,243 Serve God in truth. 1343 01:24:22,200 --> 01:24:27,200 Pray and love each and everyone as God has loved us Himself. 1344 01:24:28,740 --> 01:24:33,393 For in the end, that is the only thing that one man can do. 1345 01:24:35,400 --> 01:24:38,733 And since the Church is always in need of renewal, 1346 01:24:39,774 --> 01:24:43,870 I will call the Third Vatican Council 1347 01:24:47,250 --> 01:24:49,020 to put the permanence of marriage 1348 01:24:49,020 --> 01:24:52,440 back into the center of our faith again 1349 01:24:52,440 --> 01:24:56,493 and declare spiritual warfare against divorce. 1350 01:24:57,990 --> 01:25:00,603 Other than that, nothing. 1351 01:25:01,830 --> 01:25:04,350 Thank you, thank you for coming. 1352 01:25:04,350 --> 01:25:05,910 Thank you for coming. 1353 01:25:05,910 --> 01:25:06,797 Thank you for coming. 1354 01:25:06,797 --> 01:25:09,090 - What's he doing calling a council? 1355 01:25:09,090 --> 01:25:11,580 He's just a temp, a caretaker. 1356 01:25:11,580 --> 01:25:13,020 - Don't worry about it, Cardinal. 1357 01:25:13,020 --> 01:25:15,000 This could play right into our hands. 1358 01:25:15,000 --> 01:25:17,580 - And just how could that be, horn blower? 1359 01:25:17,580 --> 01:25:19,320 - If we could be sure that he dies 1360 01:25:19,320 --> 01:25:20,850 while we're at the council, 1361 01:25:20,850 --> 01:25:24,480 all the cardinals would already be in Rome for the vote. 1362 01:25:24,480 --> 01:25:27,153 - If, I don't like that word, if. 1363 01:25:28,082 --> 01:25:30,832 (press chatting) 1364 01:25:33,035 --> 01:25:33,870 - Pontiff Cariott. 1365 01:25:33,870 --> 01:25:35,463 - Yes, Your Holiness. 1366 01:25:36,453 --> 01:25:37,286 - May I have a word? 1367 01:25:54,030 --> 01:25:54,863 - Oh. 1368 01:26:00,150 --> 01:26:01,833 Nice suits, matching. 1369 01:26:04,110 --> 01:26:05,043 Eyebrows as well. 1370 01:26:09,960 --> 01:26:13,770 Holy Father, I'm so glad to see you home safely, 1371 01:26:13,770 --> 01:26:16,650 but you must prepare us for this type of thing 1372 01:26:16,650 --> 01:26:19,953 in the future so we do not worry so much. 1373 01:26:21,030 --> 01:26:24,513 - So nice of you to express such sentiment, Cardinal. 1374 01:26:26,720 --> 01:26:28,913 Would you like me to hear your confession now? 1375 01:26:30,210 --> 01:26:33,333 - But Your Holiness, I have nothing to confess. 1376 01:26:36,780 --> 01:26:37,713 - I see. 1377 01:26:40,890 --> 01:26:45,060 Then are you prepared to go to the ends of the earth 1378 01:26:45,060 --> 01:26:46,950 to proclaim the gospel? 1379 01:26:46,950 --> 01:26:49,080 - Most certainly, Your holiness. 1380 01:26:49,080 --> 01:26:50,800 - I have a new assignment for you 1381 01:26:52,110 --> 01:26:56,137 where you can put such commitment into practice. 1382 01:26:56,137 --> 01:26:56,970 - Yes. 1383 01:26:56,970 --> 01:27:01,177 - You are now the Cardinal Archbishop in Sheberghen 1384 01:27:04,935 --> 01:27:06,935 in Northern Afghanistan. 1385 01:27:10,263 --> 01:27:15,213 Well the harvest is few, but the workers are small. 1386 01:27:16,530 --> 01:27:21,273 - Afghanistan, the sandy, rocky one? 1387 01:27:27,270 --> 01:27:29,160 - [Beth] Shall we pray? 1388 01:27:29,160 --> 01:27:30,390 - Sure. 1389 01:27:30,390 --> 01:27:32,520 Lord, let me get some sleep tonight. 1390 01:27:32,520 --> 01:27:33,900 - That's not a prayer. 1391 01:27:33,900 --> 01:27:34,860 - Well, sure it is. 1392 01:27:34,860 --> 01:27:35,913 - For other people. 1393 01:27:37,386 --> 01:27:39,900 - Then teach me. 1394 01:27:39,900 --> 01:27:41,160 - All right. 1395 01:27:41,160 --> 01:27:44,163 But once you know how, you have to lead. 1396 01:27:46,200 --> 01:27:47,033 - Okay. 1397 01:27:48,570 --> 01:27:49,403 By the way, 1398 01:27:53,040 --> 01:27:54,543 happy anniversary. 1399 01:27:56,160 --> 01:27:59,313 I promise next year I'll remember. 1400 01:28:04,919 --> 01:28:07,586 (both clapping) 1401 01:28:10,620 --> 01:28:12,188 Wanna play spaceman? 1402 01:28:12,188 --> 01:28:13,470 (Beth laughing) 1403 01:28:13,470 --> 01:28:16,035 This is one small step for man 1404 01:28:16,035 --> 01:28:17,640 (David breathing) 1405 01:28:17,640 --> 01:28:21,042 One giant leap for man freakin' kind. 1406 01:28:21,042 --> 01:28:23,130 - Oh, you're so full of it, he never said that. 1407 01:28:23,130 --> 01:28:24,390 - Oh, sure he did. 1408 01:28:24,390 --> 01:28:26,970 See, he was on a delay and he fell down the first time 1409 01:28:26,970 --> 01:28:29,670 and had to do it again so we only saw the second take. 1410 01:28:31,110 --> 01:28:34,293 - We need a second take, not Neil. 1411 01:28:35,550 --> 01:28:38,010 - Okay, take two. 1412 01:28:38,010 --> 01:28:41,783 We're lost in space! 1413 01:28:43,298 --> 01:28:45,965 (both laughing) 1414 01:28:46,923 --> 01:28:47,756 (masks clunk) 1415 01:28:47,756 --> 01:28:49,255 Ow. - Ow. 1416 01:28:49,255 --> 01:28:51,922 (Beth laughing) 1417 01:28:56,483 --> 01:28:59,252 (dramatic Middle Eastern music) 1418 01:28:59,252 --> 01:29:01,835 (wind howling) 1419 01:29:05,478 --> 01:29:06,311 - Drat! 1420 01:29:07,800 --> 01:29:10,860 - The stone soup's almost ready, Your Eminence. 1421 01:29:10,860 --> 01:29:13,350 We can play fish later if you like. 1422 01:29:13,350 --> 01:29:15,900 - Oh, shut up. 1423 01:29:15,900 --> 01:29:17,013 - Yes, Your eminence. 1424 01:29:18,388 --> 01:29:21,721 (dogs howling, barking) 1425 01:29:26,642 --> 01:29:29,225 (upbeat music) 1426 01:29:34,585 --> 01:29:39,585 ♪ You ask me for a reason why I love you ♪ 1427 01:29:42,496 --> 01:29:47,496 ♪ Darned if I can tell you why I do ♪ 1428 01:29:50,348 --> 01:29:55,348 ♪ You set your smile on me and how you hold me ♪ 1429 01:29:58,417 --> 01:30:03,417 ♪ Mostly I just love you 'cause you're you ♪ 1430 01:30:06,373 --> 01:30:11,373 ♪ The sun upon my face is so much warmer ♪ 1431 01:30:14,356 --> 01:30:19,356 ♪ The moon, it looms much larger in my view ♪ 1432 01:30:22,389 --> 01:30:27,389 ♪ The stars are in my eyes and they're much brighter ♪ 1433 01:30:30,408 --> 01:30:35,408 ♪ All because I love you like I do ♪ 1434 01:30:38,342 --> 01:30:42,108 ♪ Together or apart ♪ 1435 01:30:42,108 --> 01:30:46,298 ♪ You were always in my heart ♪ 1436 01:30:46,298 --> 01:30:51,298 ♪ All I really know is you make me happy ♪ 1437 01:30:54,202 --> 01:30:59,202 ♪ So you ask me for a reason why I love you ♪ 1438 01:31:02,431 --> 01:31:07,431 ♪ Darned if I know why, but still it's true ♪ 1439 01:31:10,491 --> 01:31:15,491 ♪ Even God may have no better answer ♪ 1440 01:31:18,343 --> 01:31:23,343 ♪ Than mostly I just love you 'cause you're you ♪ 1441 01:31:26,417 --> 01:31:31,417 ♪ Mostly I just love you 'cause you're you ♪ 1442 01:31:34,372 --> 01:31:39,372 ♪ And I will always love you ♪ 1443 01:31:39,379 --> 01:31:41,913 ♪ 'Cause you're you ♪ 1444 01:31:41,913 --> 01:31:44,496 (upbeat music)