WEBVTT FILE

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00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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(COMPUTER BEEPS)

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(BUTTON CLICKS)

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MAN: (FAINTLY) Where?
Where did you see it?

6
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This way?
Did it go in here? In here?

7
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(DOOR OPENING)

8
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Ah, there it is.

9
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(DRAGON CHIRPS)

10
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(FOOTSTEPS)

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Who closes the door,
keeps the door.

12
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No... You can't do this.

13
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- No!
- (SUPERNATURAL BLAST)

14
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(FRENETIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

15
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(DOOR CLOSES)

16
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(BELLS CHIMING IN DISTANCE)

17
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MAN: What? No...

18
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

19
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No, no...

20
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Oh, bloody alarm!

21
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(FRANTIC OPERATIC MUSIC)

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(MUSIC PAUSES)

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(SIGHS)

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(MUSIC RESUMES)

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(MUSIC PAUSES)

26
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No!

27
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(MUSIC RESUMES)

28
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Neville!

29
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(MUSIC PAUSES)

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Kidding me!

31
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- (MUSIC RESUMES)
- (TOASTER SPARKS)

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(TOASTER CRACKLES)

33
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(MUSIC CONTINUES)

34
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(MAJESTIC OPERATIC MUSIC)

35
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MAN: Thank you.

36
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(SQUELCH!)

37
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What the...?

38
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Oh!

39
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Excuse me. Sorry.

40
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Sorry.

41
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(EXHALES)

42
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Sorry.

43
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Sorry, guys. Excuse me.

44
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Sorry. Hi. Is this
the line for applicants?

45
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- Join the queue.
- Oh, thank you.

46
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Excuse me. Sorry. Are you
here for the barista job?

47
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MAN: Paul? Paul Carpenter?

48
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It <i>is</i> you!

49
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(CHUCKLES) Thought
it wasn't you for a minute.

50
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Here's me calling out
to a stranger.

51
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(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

52
00:06:08.040 --> 00:06:09.560
Monty Smith-Gregg.

53
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Don't you dare tell me
you don't remember me.

54
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- Um...
- You don't? Or you do?

55
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I can't tell
with that funny face of yours.

56
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You always had
that look in class.

57
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I taught 18th-century Ethics
and History of Music.

58
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- At King's.
- Oh, I didn't go to King's.

59
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And other campuses.

60
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I had long hair and a beard.

61
00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:28.520
You used to
sit next to Neville.

62
00:06:28.520 --> 00:06:30.040
- Yes...
- Funny Neville.

63
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With his weak knees.

64
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Plus, I coached you
in football, Mr Forgetty!

65
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This is such a coincidence!

66
00:06:36.880 --> 00:06:39.200
You still got that shirt?
The one with the, uh...

67
00:06:39.200 --> 00:06:41.120
Oh, what did it say?
I should go.

68
00:06:41.120 --> 00:06:43.680
- How's your brother?
- I don't have a brother.

69
00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:47.120
Anyway, must dash. I have
an interview, just like you.

70
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Another coincidence!

71
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- Bye!
- Bye.

72
00:06:53.360 --> 00:06:55.360
Monty?

73
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Oh...

74
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(PHONES CHIMING AND CLICKING)

75
00:07:06.440 --> 00:07:08.960
Oh, great...

76
00:07:08.960 --> 00:07:10.760
- (DOG YAPS)
- Hey!

77
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Wait!

78
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(FRANTIC OPERATIC MUSIC)

79
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Stop! Stop that dog! Hey!

80
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(MUSIC STOPS)

81
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(WHIMSICAL TINKLING MUSIC)

82
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(MUZAK PLAYING FAINTLY)

83
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Hello?

84
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(MUZAK, INDISTINCT SPEECH
ON TV)

85
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MAN: (ON TV) <i>..Central London organisation...</i>

86
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(INDISTINCT SPEECH ON TV
CONTINUES)

87
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(EERIE MUSIC)

88
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MAN: (ON TV)
<i>With world's best practice...</i>

89
00:08:39.040 --> 00:08:41.720
(SPEECH ON TV CONTINUES
INDISTINCTLY)

90
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Excuse me, but are you here
for the job interview?

91
00:08:44.640 --> 00:08:46.920
It says 'applicants'
on the door, but...

92
00:08:46.920 --> 00:08:50.520
...this is an odd place
for a job interview.

93
00:08:50.520 --> 00:08:53.480
I was actually supposed to
have an interview at a cafe,

94
00:08:53.480 --> 00:08:56.400
which is interesting... mildly.

95
00:08:56.400 --> 00:08:59.320
D-do you know
what they do here?

96
00:08:59.320 --> 00:09:01.480
Or what position...?
WOMAN: I'm sorry.

97
00:09:01.480 --> 00:09:04.080
Is there something I'm doing
to make you want to talk to me?

98
00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:06.520
- Pardon?
- I really need to focus.

99
00:09:06.520 --> 00:09:07.800
Sorry.

100
00:09:07.800 --> 00:09:11.240
Oh, of course. Yeah.
You should focus.

101
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Oh, you... you're watching.

102
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Maybe I...I should
just watch too.

103
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MAN (ON TV):
<i>We've always been there...</i>

104
00:09:19.960 --> 00:09:22.920
<i>...and always will.</i>

105
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<i>Life at JW Wells
as a new recruit</i>

106
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<i>is never dull.</i>

107
00:09:27.560 --> 00:09:28.880
<i>On the contrary,</i>

108
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<i>the jobs can be demanding
and often confronting.</i>

109
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<i>We may not advertise
our services</i>

110
00:09:34.360 --> 00:09:36.320
<i>and shout our name
from the rooftops,</i>

111
00:09:36.320 --> 00:09:39.560
<i>but that is because
we do not need to.</i>

112
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<i>Our reputation is already
well established,</i>

113
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<i>which is why we can
hide in the shadows</i>

114
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<i>waiting for business
to come to us.</i>

115
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<i>Now you know a bit about
what we do here</i>

116
00:09:50.080 --> 00:09:52.320
<i>at JW Wells and Company,</i>

117
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<i>we hope you will join our team.</i>

118
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(MUZAK ON TV CONTINUES)

119
00:09:56.880 --> 00:09:59.440
(WOMAN GIGGLING)

120
00:09:59.440 --> 00:10:02.480
No, you were... you were
outstanding, my dear.

121
00:10:02.480 --> 00:10:03.960
Mr Wells was very impressed.

122
00:10:03.960 --> 00:10:05.640
- We all were.
- That's a relief.

123
00:10:05.640 --> 00:10:07.840
He's a personal hero
of mine, you know.

124
00:10:07.840 --> 00:10:08.960
Yes.

125
00:10:08.960 --> 00:10:12.680
Oh, good luck!
Just have fun with it.

126
00:10:12.680 --> 00:10:15.840
(SOFTLY) These other interviews
are just formalities.

127
00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:18.160
The job is all but yours.

128
00:10:20.040 --> 00:10:23.040
(EXASPERATED SIGH)
Paul Carpenter!

129
00:10:23.040 --> 00:10:25.120
What...? M-me?

130
00:10:26.280 --> 00:10:28.280
How does he know my name?

131
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MAN: Chop-chop!

132
00:10:36.760 --> 00:10:39.480
(PLODDING MUSIC)

133
00:10:39.480 --> 00:10:41.920
So, what is it you do here?

134
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We do what we can.

135
00:10:45.280 --> 00:10:47.360
Right.

136
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- (HUSHED CHATTER)
- (DOOR OPENING)

137
00:10:58.880 --> 00:11:01.760
Mr Wells, ladies and gentlemen
of the board,

138
00:11:01.760 --> 00:11:03.720
this is Paul Carpenter.

139
00:11:03.720 --> 00:11:06.560
Well, I'm glad you found us.

140
00:11:06.560 --> 00:11:09.560
The side entrance
is a bit tricky, but...

141
00:11:09.560 --> 00:11:12.680
Apologies about the lobby
being renovated.

142
00:11:12.680 --> 00:11:17.040
It's all to align with the 'new
dawn' of our great company.

143
00:11:17.040 --> 00:11:20.200
You will be part
of that new dawn too.

144
00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:22.320
- I will be?
- Well, you could be.

145
00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:24.560
It all rather depends
on the next two minutes,

146
00:11:24.560 --> 00:11:25.720
wouldn't you say?

147
00:11:25.720 --> 00:11:28.160
- Right.
- Why don't you tell us

148
00:11:28.160 --> 00:11:29.960
something about yourself, Paul?

149
00:11:29.960 --> 00:11:32.320
Ah... there's not much to tell, really.

150
00:11:32.320 --> 00:11:35.240
I've got four GCSEs
and two A-Levels.

151
00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:37.640
I'm currently
between employment.

152
00:11:37.640 --> 00:11:39.000
Single.

153
00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:40.400
I live with a friend, Neville,

154
00:11:40.400 --> 00:11:42.000
who hasn't paid rent
for 2 months,

155
00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:44.040
but let's not hold
that against him,

156
00:11:44.040 --> 00:11:46.400
even though it means we'll be
evicted unless I get this job.

157
00:11:46.400 --> 00:11:50.320
Well, <i>a</i> job. It's highly
unlikely that I get this job.

158
00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:51.760
Especially if I keep talking.

159
00:11:51.760 --> 00:11:56.360
But I'd like it. Whatever it
is, it seems... interesting.

160
00:11:57.360 --> 00:12:00.240
Anyway, yeah, that's... me.

161
00:12:00.240 --> 00:12:03.720
And what makes you think you'd
be suited to this position?

162
00:12:06.160 --> 00:12:07.160
I dunno.

163
00:12:07.160 --> 00:12:08.920
Well, what made you apply?

164
00:12:08.920 --> 00:12:11.640
Uh, coincidence, really.

165
00:12:11.640 --> 00:12:12.680
Go on.

166
00:12:12.680 --> 00:12:16.200
Well, my alarm didn't go off.
My trousers had a stain.

167
00:12:16.200 --> 00:12:18.440
And my shoelace broke - twice.

168
00:12:18.440 --> 00:12:20.600
A dog stole my scarf.
The toaster blew up.

169
00:12:20.600 --> 00:12:22.960
I ran into someone
who taught me at university

170
00:12:22.960 --> 00:12:24.760
although I don't
remember him at all.

171
00:12:24.760 --> 00:12:27.160
And then I chased the dog,
and here I am.

172
00:12:27.160 --> 00:12:29.480
- Any hobbies?
- Pardon?

173
00:12:29.480 --> 00:12:32.160
What do you do
in your spare time?

174
00:12:32.160 --> 00:12:34.200
Well, all my time is spare...

175
00:12:34.200 --> 00:12:35.640
- ...really.
- Ah.

176
00:12:35.640 --> 00:12:37.360
But I used to paint
model soldiers.

177
00:12:37.360 --> 00:12:39.280
- WOMAN: Which period?
- Medieval.

178
00:12:39.280 --> 00:12:41.080
I also did those fantasy ones.

179
00:12:41.080 --> 00:12:43.240
- Trolls and goblins.
- Goblins?

180
00:12:43.240 --> 00:12:45.920
I tried Napoleonic,
but they were too fiddly.

181
00:12:45.920 --> 00:12:48.120
I see.

182
00:12:48.120 --> 00:12:49.640
I don't do that so much now.

183
00:12:49.640 --> 00:12:54.000
And what do you most admire
about the works of Chekhov?

184
00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:55.920
Ah... (EXHALES) I dunno.

185
00:12:55.920 --> 00:12:58.200
The way he says
"Course laid in, Captain"

186
00:12:58.200 --> 00:12:59.520
is pretty cool.

187
00:12:59.520 --> 00:13:01.200
But mostly he doesn't
get to do much.

188
00:13:01.200 --> 00:13:03.760
- (GROANS)
- Chekhov, the playwright.

189
00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:06.160
Star Trek.

190
00:13:06.160 --> 00:13:07.080
Any languages?

191
00:13:07.080 --> 00:13:09.600
Uh, French and German
at school, but...

192
00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:12.720
...I can't really remember
any of it now.

193
00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:16.080
(SPEAKS IN GERMAN)

194
00:13:16.080 --> 00:13:17.000
Sorry?

195
00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:20.240
Casimir is asking you about
your social life, pumpkin.

196
00:13:21.320 --> 00:13:22.640
(BANGS TABLE)

197
00:13:22.640 --> 00:13:24.080
Pardon?

198
00:13:24.080 --> 00:13:26.520
What are you looking at,
Mr Carpenter?

199
00:13:26.520 --> 00:13:30.240
Oh, sorry.
Uh, it's nothing. It's...

200
00:13:30.240 --> 00:13:32.840
You seem distracted.

201
00:13:33.680 --> 00:13:35.640
It's just the wallpaper.

202
00:13:35.640 --> 00:13:38.800
The cracks are a map of London.

203
00:13:41.760 --> 00:13:43.760
The Tube.

204
00:13:43.760 --> 00:13:46.200
And there's the M25.

205
00:13:46.200 --> 00:13:48.840
There's Hyde Park.

206
00:13:48.840 --> 00:13:52.120
As soon as you see it,
you can't unsee it.

207
00:13:53.680 --> 00:13:56.280
It's like one of those
Magic Eye things.

208
00:14:01.640 --> 00:14:05.480
Well, this has been a truly
forgettable experience.

209
00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:07.320
Shall I see you out,
Mr Carpenter?

210
00:14:07.320 --> 00:14:09.600
- That's OK... Sorry.
- Yes, I shall. Come on.

211
00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:11.280
Well, thanks for
meeting you all.

212
00:14:11.280 --> 00:14:14.680
Um, good to...
I mean, to meet you.

213
00:14:14.680 --> 00:14:16.680
MAN: We heard it. Thank you.

214
00:14:16.680 --> 00:14:18.600
(DOOR OPENS)

215
00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:20.680
(DOOR CLOSES)

216
00:14:29.960 --> 00:14:31.240
(GROANS)

217
00:14:31.240 --> 00:14:33.320
You...

218
00:14:35.360 --> 00:14:37.000
Stay...

219
00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:39.080
Stay.

220
00:14:46.520 --> 00:14:48.520
- (DOOR CLOSES)
- Alright?

221
00:14:49.520 --> 00:14:51.080
Oh, dear.

222
00:14:51.080 --> 00:14:53.520
How is anyone supposed to
get a job in this town?

223
00:14:53.520 --> 00:14:56.760
You should just go abroad.
You know, be a man of letters.

224
00:14:56.760 --> 00:14:59.440
Paul Carpenter -
renaissance man.

225
00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:02.920
Renaissance men usually have
more than £5 to their name.

226
00:15:02.920 --> 00:15:05.160
Any ladies there?

227
00:15:05.160 --> 00:15:06.800
No.

228
00:15:06.800 --> 00:15:09.080
Liar. Spill.

229
00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:10.880
(THUMP!)

230
00:15:10.880 --> 00:15:13.440
PAUL: Neville?

231
00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:16.040
- Hmm?
- What's going on?

232
00:15:16.040 --> 00:15:17.760
Yeah, the couch is gone.

233
00:15:17.760 --> 00:15:19.520
Yes, I noticed that.

234
00:15:19.520 --> 00:15:21.000
I'm moving home.

235
00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:24.360
- What?! Like, right now?
- I'm sorry. I just...

236
00:15:24.360 --> 00:15:27.120
Just, do you ever feel like
you're not meant for

237
00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:29.720
this kind of, you know,
work, rent, bills, bus,

238
00:15:29.720 --> 00:15:31.760
Tube, bills, work, rent
kind of life?

239
00:15:31.760 --> 00:15:33.320
Yes, of course, we all do...

240
00:15:33.320 --> 00:15:35.760
I had this epiphany last night,
I thought, "Neville,

241
00:15:35.760 --> 00:15:37.880
"why are you being
a slave to the system?

242
00:15:37.880 --> 00:15:40.480
"You know, go home,
go back to university,

243
00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:42.400
"just... never leave again."

244
00:15:42.400 --> 00:15:44.440
PAUL: Right.
NEVILLE: And you know what?

245
00:15:44.440 --> 00:15:47.880
As soon as I said it,
I just felt... free.

246
00:15:47.880 --> 00:15:50.560
PAUL: Wow.
I'm really happy for you.

247
00:15:50.560 --> 00:15:53.480
But where does that leave me?
NEVILLE: We're all individuals.

248
00:15:53.480 --> 00:15:55.480
You are free to make
your own choices.

249
00:15:55.480 --> 00:15:57.600
PAUL: Ignoring the fact
I don't have a job

250
00:15:57.600 --> 00:15:59.440
and my parents
have moved to Florida.

251
00:15:59.440 --> 00:16:01.840
- I can't believe this!
- I know, I'll miss you too.

252
00:16:01.840 --> 00:16:04.200
No! How do I find someone
with zero notice?

253
00:16:04.200 --> 00:16:06.000
NEVILLE:
I'll pay for next week.

254
00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:08.720
- PAUL: You're two months behind.
- Maybe you'll get...

255
00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:10.800
(BREEZE BLOWING)

256
00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:18.840
"JW Wells and Co"?

257
00:16:18.840 --> 00:16:20.800
That's where my interview was.

258
00:16:20.800 --> 00:16:23.480
But I didn't give them
this address.

259
00:16:23.480 --> 00:16:24.640
"Dear Mr Carpenter,

260
00:16:24.640 --> 00:16:28.120
"Thank you for your smashing
interview at 9:43am today.

261
00:16:28.120 --> 00:16:31.520
"It was a real highlight and we
were unanimously impressed.

262
00:16:31.520 --> 00:16:32.880
"We are therefore thrilled

263
00:16:32.880 --> 00:16:34.960
"to offer you the position
of Paid Intern.

264
00:16:34.960 --> 00:16:37.640
"It would be most agreeable
if you could make yourself

265
00:16:37.640 --> 00:16:40.440
"available for work
from tomorrow, 9am sharp.

266
00:16:40.440 --> 00:16:43.920
"Please enter through the main
entrance at 70 St Mary..."

267
00:16:43.920 --> 00:16:45.440
Bloody hell.

268
00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:46.480
I got a job!

269
00:16:46.480 --> 00:16:49.400
You see?
All works out in the end.

270
00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:52.960
I got a job!

271
00:16:52.960 --> 00:16:55.040
(ALARM BLARES)

272
00:16:56.040 --> 00:16:58.520
(DRAMATIC OPERATIC MUSIC
BUILDS)

273
00:17:16.280 --> 00:17:19.560
(MAJESTIC OPERATIC MUSIC)

274
00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:29.440
PAUL: Thank you.

275
00:17:31.320 --> 00:17:33.720
(PHONES CHIMING AND BLEEPING)

276
00:17:50.040 --> 00:17:53.120
(SOFT CHORAL MUSIC)

277
00:18:30.120 --> 00:18:32.280
Mr Roden!

278
00:18:36.120 --> 00:18:38.480
Referral, please.

279
00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:44.720
Ew.

280
00:18:46.040 --> 00:18:48.400
Suite 1409.

281
00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:50.800
- (BELL BUZZES)
- (DOOR OPENS)

282
00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:55.400
What's the matter?
Need help sitting?

283
00:18:55.400 --> 00:18:57.880
Oh, I'm... I'm not...

284
00:18:58.800 --> 00:19:00.800
Ah!

285
00:19:01.360 --> 00:19:02.520
Hm?

286
00:19:02.520 --> 00:19:06.000
Well, Rosie, what do we think
of the new lobby?

287
00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:07.600
Oh, Mr Wells,

288
00:19:07.600 --> 00:19:09.120
I was expecting to be pleased,

289
00:19:09.120 --> 00:19:11.600
but this morning, when
I saw it for the first time,

290
00:19:11.600 --> 00:19:14.920
my heart burst with
a new passion for my work.

291
00:19:14.920 --> 00:19:16.880
I can't tell
if you're being serious.

292
00:19:16.880 --> 00:19:21.160
I couldn't be more serious...
about the new lobby.

293
00:19:23.600 --> 00:19:25.240
- Carpenter!
- Hi.

294
00:19:25.240 --> 00:19:27.640
- Wearing a suit, I see.
- Mm.

295
00:19:27.640 --> 00:19:30.160
Very nice.
Making an effort - tick.

296
00:19:30.160 --> 00:19:32.480
Trying to be yourself -
bigger tick.

297
00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:35.280
We're all a big happy family
here, aren't we, Rosie?

298
00:19:36.520 --> 00:19:39.120
- Yes?
- One big happy family.

299
00:19:39.120 --> 00:19:43.040
We're going to tear through
mountains together... Paul?

300
00:19:43.040 --> 00:19:44.720
Paul. Ah, OK.

301
00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:47.520
Well, I love
to tear... mountains.

302
00:19:51.080 --> 00:19:54.160
(DOOR CREAKS AND CLOSES)

303
00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:56.280
Paul Carpenter.

304
00:19:57.880 --> 00:20:00.520
Last chance
to change your mind.

305
00:20:02.320 --> 00:20:03.840
(INTERCOM WHINES)

306
00:20:03.840 --> 00:20:07.960
Mr Tanner,
the new intern's here.

307
00:20:07.960 --> 00:20:10.480
TANNER: (ON INTERCOM)
<i>No, she's here already, Mum.</i>

308
00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:12.200
<i>Uh, I mean 'Rosie'.</i>

309
00:20:12.200 --> 00:20:14.040
Well, they're coming in
thick and fast

310
00:20:14.040 --> 00:20:16.680
'cause there's another one here
with a clueless look

311
00:20:16.680 --> 00:20:18.200
on his face.

312
00:20:18.200 --> 00:20:20.160
I don't suppose
you could fill me in

313
00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:22.480
on what this company
actually does?

314
00:20:33.960 --> 00:20:35.960
TANNER: (ANNOYED) Carpenter...

315
00:20:37.080 --> 00:20:39.560
I was hoping that you'd died.

316
00:20:40.600 --> 00:20:41.880
Well, follow me.

317
00:20:41.880 --> 00:20:44.440
- Chop-chop!
- Dennis!

318
00:20:44.440 --> 00:20:46.000
Shirt.

319
00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:48.040
Oh, yes...

320
00:20:48.040 --> 00:20:51.320
Come on. Hurry up! Come on!

321
00:20:53.440 --> 00:20:55.440
For God's sake...

322
00:20:58.040 --> 00:20:59.600
No, not that way...

323
00:20:59.600 --> 00:21:01.680
(DENNIS MUTTERING)

324
00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:03.160
Why is the...?

325
00:21:03.160 --> 00:21:07.160
(EXASPERATED) Ah, all this was
meant to be done by Christmas!

326
00:21:07.160 --> 00:21:09.960
By Christmas!

327
00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:14.760
Now... interns report to me,
and me only. Is that clear?

328
00:21:14.760 --> 00:21:16.120
OK. Yes.

329
00:21:16.120 --> 00:21:18.280
"Yes, Mr Tanner."

330
00:21:18.280 --> 00:21:22.440
Now, JW Wells
is a highly respected firm.

331
00:21:22.440 --> 00:21:24.160
Oops!

332
00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:28.280
And we expect nothing less than
excellence from our employees.

333
00:21:28.280 --> 00:21:30.920
- Is that clear?
- Of course.

334
00:21:30.920 --> 00:21:33.000
"Of course, Mr Tanner."

335
00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:36.840
Now, in return,
you will be working

336
00:21:36.840 --> 00:21:39.040
for the most innovative company
in history.

337
00:21:39.040 --> 00:21:41.120
Hup!

338
00:21:42.120 --> 00:21:44.120
Don't panic.

339
00:21:49.400 --> 00:21:51.760
All clear, no harm done.

340
00:21:51.760 --> 00:21:53.560
With me, boy.

341
00:21:53.560 --> 00:21:55.640
(TELEPHONES RINGING,
BUSTLING CHATTER)

342
00:21:55.640 --> 00:21:57.560
DENNIS: Now listen
very carefully,

343
00:21:57.560 --> 00:21:59.520
'cause really
all you need to know,

344
00:21:59.520 --> 00:22:02.960
for centuries,
our distinguished firm, JW...

345
00:22:02.960 --> 00:22:04.560
Oh, thank you, thank you.

346
00:22:04.560 --> 00:22:06.920
Our distinguished firm,
JW Wells,

347
00:22:06.920 --> 00:22:08.640
has performed a plethora

348
00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:12.200
of invaluable services
for our clients, including...

349
00:22:12.200 --> 00:22:14.920
- (HUBBUB DROWNS OUT SPEECH)
- I didn't quite hear...

350
00:22:14.920 --> 00:22:17.320
...temporal pausation
or advancement

351
00:22:17.320 --> 00:22:21.480
and, of course, our signature
dish, which is coincidensation.

352
00:22:21.480 --> 00:22:25.680
Now, we have never had
an unhappy client.

353
00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:28.320
- Come on!
- (TYPEWRITERS CLACKING)

354
00:22:28.320 --> 00:22:30.760
DENNIS: And we trust
it will remain that way.

355
00:22:30.760 --> 00:22:35.200
If you decide to stay,
you arrive at 0900,

356
00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:38.480
lunch is at 1300, tea 1500,

357
00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:40.680
and pens down at 5 o'clock.

358
00:22:40.680 --> 00:22:43.720
And I don't care how much
of a suckhole you are,

359
00:22:43.720 --> 00:22:47.240
you never, ever stay
after hours.

360
00:22:47.240 --> 00:22:49.480
- Is that clear?
- Yes.

361
00:22:49.480 --> 00:22:51.720
- Mr Tanner.
- Thank you.

362
00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:55.080
(TUBES SUCTIONING)

363
00:22:57.240 --> 00:23:00.440
You look like the sort of chap
who owns a computer.

364
00:23:00.440 --> 00:23:02.040
Do not bring it to work.

365
00:23:02.040 --> 00:23:04.320
- Hurry along!
- (TUBES SUCTIONING)

366
00:23:04.320 --> 00:23:06.520
They do not function
within these four walls,

367
00:23:06.520 --> 00:23:10.080
and what is more,
they're common.

368
00:23:10.080 --> 00:23:12.520
- Any questions?
- I just didn't quite hear...

369
00:23:12.520 --> 00:23:15.280
No questions. Good.

370
00:23:15.280 --> 00:23:19.120
You may be excited
about working here -

371
00:23:19.120 --> 00:23:21.440
that would be a mistake.

372
00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:25.320
You are the lowest of the low,
Mr Carpenter.

373
00:23:27.240 --> 00:23:29.320
I can't think
of anything lower.

374
00:23:29.320 --> 00:23:31.000
Even the tiniest mites

375
00:23:31.000 --> 00:23:34.040
that inhabit this grotty carpet
upon which we walk

376
00:23:34.040 --> 00:23:36.240
are more important than you.

377
00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:37.800
And, like the mites,

378
00:23:37.800 --> 00:23:40.840
the less you are seen,
the longer you will last.

379
00:23:40.840 --> 00:23:41.920
Right.

380
00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:43.520
"Right, Mr Tanner!"

381
00:23:43.520 --> 00:23:45.600
Mr Tanner.

382
00:23:46.040 --> 00:23:48.000
Now... you'll be sharing

383
00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:50.200
with the other new blob
of insignificance

384
00:23:50.200 --> 00:23:51.520
that arrived today.

385
00:23:51.520 --> 00:23:53.600
Oh. What other blob?

386
00:23:54.440 --> 00:23:56.440
This one.

387
00:23:57.080 --> 00:23:58.800
Sophie Pettingel.

388
00:23:58.800 --> 00:24:00.840
She managed
to get here on time.

389
00:24:00.840 --> 00:24:03.840
Well, wait here. Maybe someone
will find you something to do.

390
00:24:03.840 --> 00:24:08.440
Oh! Why don't you tell Sophie
about your last girlfriend?

391
00:24:08.440 --> 00:24:11.360
Oh, that's right -
you've never had one.

392
00:24:11.360 --> 00:24:16.120
(GUFFAWS WHEEZILY)

393
00:24:16.120 --> 00:24:19.080
(SCOFFS)
That's not true, by the way.

394
00:24:19.080 --> 00:24:20.080
I have had...

395
00:24:20.080 --> 00:24:23.280
We never called each other
boyfriend and girlfriend...

396
00:24:23.280 --> 00:24:25.080
The smell of coffee
makes me sick.

397
00:24:25.080 --> 00:24:28.040
The what? Oh. Sorry.

398
00:24:34.200 --> 00:24:37.200
Ah... Oh, that's hot. Very...

399
00:24:42.040 --> 00:24:44.040
Ah...

400
00:24:44.680 --> 00:24:46.680
(EXHALES)

401
00:25:07.640 --> 00:25:10.040
Looks like
we're up for the same job.

402
00:25:10.040 --> 00:25:11.520
Hm.

403
00:25:11.520 --> 00:25:13.920
I'm pretty sure they've made
a mistake, actually.

404
00:25:13.920 --> 00:25:16.160
All depends on what
they were looking for.

405
00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:17.760
If it was inarticulate,
nervous gits

406
00:25:17.760 --> 00:25:19.560
with little talent
or initiative,

407
00:25:19.560 --> 00:25:21.640
they've struck gold.

408
00:25:22.120 --> 00:25:23.840
With me... I mean.

409
00:25:23.840 --> 00:25:28.440
Not you. You're obviously
talented and... not a git.

410
00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:37.320
Do you have any idea
what they do here?

411
00:25:37.320 --> 00:25:39.120
What was all those typists?

412
00:25:39.120 --> 00:25:41.840
And the big map with the...?

413
00:25:41.840 --> 00:25:44.400
There's a nice pub across
the street, which is good.

414
00:25:44.400 --> 00:25:47.000
It's important, isn't it?
To have after-work drinks.

415
00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:50.000
Or hitting-target drinks.
Or sales drinks.

416
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:53.160
Or, like... drink drinks.

417
00:25:53.160 --> 00:25:55.840
My dad used to go to the pub
after work every day.

418
00:25:55.840 --> 00:25:58.240
So did my mum, actually.
'Debeef' drinks.

419
00:25:58.240 --> 00:26:00.240
Debrief 'dinks'. Drinks.

420
00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:02.200
Debrief drinks.

421
00:26:02.200 --> 00:26:04.440
Did you work anywhere
before this job?

422
00:26:04.440 --> 00:26:07.160
Um, what kind of question
is that?

423
00:26:07.160 --> 00:26:11.800
Oh, uh, I was just wondering if
all office jobs are like this.

424
00:26:11.800 --> 00:26:14.680
You know, you sort of sit
and wait to be told.

425
00:26:14.680 --> 00:26:19.320
Or maybe you could fill me in
on some work practices.

426
00:26:19.320 --> 00:26:21.040
You know, like when to...

427
00:26:21.040 --> 00:26:22.600
Go to the pub?

428
00:26:22.600 --> 00:26:24.280
What? No.

429
00:26:24.280 --> 00:26:26.120
Um... unless you want to.

430
00:26:26.120 --> 00:26:28.800
But-but not in an
inappropriate way, of course.

431
00:26:28.800 --> 00:26:30.840
If there's a way
to do it... if...

432
00:26:30.840 --> 00:26:33.680
'Cause, I mean, I can't, and
don't want to, by the way, ask.

433
00:26:33.680 --> 00:26:35.720
And neither do you
want to be asked,

434
00:26:35.720 --> 00:26:38.000
or ask me, which is good.

435
00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:39.480
We've got apps for that.

436
00:26:39.480 --> 00:26:42.000
And I'm certainly not gonna
look for you on my app.

437
00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:44.800
- I think you should stop now.
- Yeah, I think you're right.

438
00:26:44.800 --> 00:26:46.360
(YELPS)
SOPHIE: What?!

439
00:26:46.360 --> 00:26:48.440
Shh.

440
00:27:05.760 --> 00:27:07.640
(TROLLEY RATTLING)

441
00:27:07.640 --> 00:27:09.720
(PAUL GASPS)

442
00:27:10.360 --> 00:27:11.920
Did she try and kiss you?

443
00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:13.320
- No.
- No.

444
00:27:13.320 --> 00:27:15.720
Oh. Shame.

445
00:27:15.720 --> 00:27:17.840
Did you see a baby dragon?

446
00:27:20.320 --> 00:27:22.320
Job for you.

447
00:27:25.200 --> 00:27:27.080
You are to go through
these maps

448
00:27:27.080 --> 00:27:30.520
and circle any sites
containing bauxite.

449
00:27:30.520 --> 00:27:32.920
- Got it?
- And what about me?

450
00:27:32.920 --> 00:27:35.000
You help him.

451
00:27:36.360 --> 00:27:39.000
Oh. Look at you.

452
00:27:39.000 --> 00:27:41.160
You're all red in the face.

453
00:27:41.160 --> 00:27:43.560
First days,
they're always hard.

454
00:27:43.560 --> 00:27:48.400
But I'm here - hm? -
if you need a true friend.

455
00:27:50.480 --> 00:27:51.800
(SNIFFS)

456
00:27:51.800 --> 00:27:53.440
Mm.

457
00:27:53.440 --> 00:27:55.920
Anyway, good luck.

458
00:28:03.080 --> 00:28:05.760
So... bauxite is...?

459
00:28:05.760 --> 00:28:06.720
It's a mineral.

460
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:09.400
They make aluminium
out of it. Listen, Peter.

461
00:28:09.400 --> 00:28:11.320
- Paul.
- Don't take this the wrong way

462
00:28:11.320 --> 00:28:12.720
but I'm not interested in beers
after work

463
00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:15.160
or, "Hi, everyone, this is
my mate Peter from work."

464
00:28:15.160 --> 00:28:17.200
- Paul.
- I'm part of a fast-track

465
00:28:17.200 --> 00:28:18.840
program to
upper level management,

466
00:28:18.840 --> 00:28:21.120
so we won't be sharing this
pokey little hole for long.

467
00:28:21.120 --> 00:28:24.320
But while we are,
do you mind if we just...?

468
00:28:24.320 --> 00:28:25.600
(RAPS DESK)

469
00:28:25.600 --> 00:28:27.200
Yep. Sure.

470
00:28:27.200 --> 00:28:32.600
Yeah. I was just...
checking about the bauxite.

471
00:28:38.480 --> 00:28:42.280
(JAUNTY HARMONIC MUSIC)

472
00:29:21.520 --> 00:29:23.880
(BELLS CHIMING)

473
00:29:23.880 --> 00:29:26.000
Well, that was rewarding.

474
00:29:27.200 --> 00:29:29.200
Didn't spot any bauxite,
did you?

475
00:29:32.920 --> 00:29:34.920
SOPHIE: Coming?

476
00:29:36.560 --> 00:29:38.160
So, what we thinking for lunch?

477
00:29:38.160 --> 00:29:39.720
I could murder a pie.

478
00:29:39.720 --> 00:29:41.560
Oh, I'm a bit of
a pie-murderer myself.

479
00:29:41.560 --> 00:29:44.160
Actually, I might
just grab a coffee.

480
00:29:44.160 --> 00:29:47.000
I thought you
didn't like coffee.

481
00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:49.640
Why did I say that?
I hate coffee.

482
00:29:49.640 --> 00:29:52.560
Sophie Pettingel!
I have a quick job for you.

483
00:29:52.560 --> 00:29:55.440
You can come too if you like,
but don't do anything.

484
00:30:00.560 --> 00:30:02.560
PAUL: I don't suppose
you could fill us in

485
00:30:02.560 --> 00:30:04.640
on what this company
actually does?

486
00:30:07.240 --> 00:30:10.040
This should be very simple. Ah.

487
00:30:10.040 --> 00:30:11.840
That woman is Delia Bryson.

488
00:30:11.840 --> 00:30:14.080
She happens to be sitting...

489
00:30:15.840 --> 00:30:19.320
(HUFFS) Spelling is awful.

490
00:30:19.320 --> 00:30:24.640
Right. Well, this seems to be
a little more complicated.

491
00:30:24.640 --> 00:30:27.480
Delia is reading Atonement
by Ian McEwan.

492
00:30:27.480 --> 00:30:29.120
Sophie, I'll need you
to watch her

493
00:30:29.120 --> 00:30:31.240
and signal me
when she gets to the part

494
00:30:31.240 --> 00:30:33.000
where Cecilia
jumps into the fountain.

495
00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:34.960
- The what?
- I'll be on the other side.

496
00:30:34.960 --> 00:30:38.280
Wait. You want me
to read over her shoulder?

497
00:30:38.280 --> 00:30:40.440
Of course not.
That would be rude.

498
00:30:40.440 --> 00:30:42.520
Just watch her from in there.

499
00:30:53.440 --> 00:30:56.200
How are we supposed to know
what she's reading?

500
00:30:58.000 --> 00:31:00.160
This is ridiculous.

501
00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:02.720
(WHISPERED VOCALISING)

502
00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:05.360
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

503
00:31:17.480 --> 00:31:20.320
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC SWELLS)

504
00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:27.280
(MAN GRUNTS)

505
00:31:27.280 --> 00:31:29.200
- (WATER SPLASHING)
- (DELIA GASPS)

506
00:31:29.200 --> 00:31:30.400
Oh, my goodness!

507
00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:32.720
Are you alright?
MAN: Yeah.

508
00:31:32.720 --> 00:31:34.240
- Here.
- Oh.

509
00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:37.160
- Oh... (CHUCKLES)
- Oh, thank you so much.

510
00:31:37.160 --> 00:31:40.000
DELIA: Such a bizarre coincidence...

511
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:42.960
Very well done, Sophie.

512
00:31:42.960 --> 00:31:44.680
His parents
paid a fortune for that.

513
00:31:44.680 --> 00:31:46.800
Those two will think
it was meant to be

514
00:31:46.800 --> 00:31:49.480
and hopefully tell the story
to their grandchildren.

515
00:31:49.480 --> 00:31:51.360
But... so Sophie read her mind?

516
00:31:51.360 --> 00:31:54.440
Sophie is a Seer.
A very rare breed.

517
00:31:54.440 --> 00:31:56.880
That's why she's
in our fast-track program

518
00:31:56.880 --> 00:31:58.960
and you, Paul, are not.

519
00:32:00.760 --> 00:32:03.480
I suppose you'd call us
practical metaphysicians

520
00:32:03.480 --> 00:32:05.840
or paranatural engineers.

521
00:32:05.840 --> 00:32:09.160
In my department,
we hijack a client's instincts

522
00:32:09.160 --> 00:32:10.920
or gut feeling
just long enough

523
00:32:10.920 --> 00:32:13.240
to influence
a correct decision.

524
00:32:13.240 --> 00:32:16.320
Sophie, I have
more clients for you.

525
00:32:16.320 --> 00:32:19.440
Paul, you can go back to...

526
00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:21.240
...whatever it was
you were doing.

527
00:32:21.240 --> 00:32:23.760
- Maps.
- Fast-track.

528
00:32:43.360 --> 00:32:47.640
(TRAFFIC BUZZING,
SIREN BLARING IN DISTANCE)

529
00:33:11.960 --> 00:33:13.520
Bauxite...

530
00:33:13.520 --> 00:33:15.600
Brilliant.

531
00:33:18.760 --> 00:33:20.920
(LOW ELECTRONIC BUZZING)

532
00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:35.120
(LOW ELECTRONIC BUZZING)

533
00:33:44.080 --> 00:33:48.200
(LOW ELECTRONIC BUZZING)

534
00:33:50.720 --> 00:33:51.880
Carpenter!

535
00:33:51.880 --> 00:33:55.720
You focus your eyes
on a point in the distance,

536
00:33:55.720 --> 00:33:58.160
like you're looking
at the horizon.

537
00:33:59.160 --> 00:34:00.640
Yep.

538
00:34:00.640 --> 00:34:06.200
Now lift your hand
just off the map

539
00:34:06.200 --> 00:34:07.840
so you can still feel it

540
00:34:07.840 --> 00:34:10.680
but you're not actually
touching it.

541
00:34:15.240 --> 00:34:20.440
(BARELY AUDIBLE
ELECTRONIC BUZZING)

542
00:34:20.440 --> 00:34:22.480
Yep.

543
00:34:22.480 --> 00:34:26.320
(ELECTRONIC PULSING)
WELLS: Yeah. Mm-hm.

544
00:34:26.320 --> 00:34:27.880
Yeah, it's building.

545
00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:30.640
- (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
- (WELLS EXCLAIMS)

546
00:34:31.640 --> 00:34:33.640
That's the Quiver Point.

547
00:34:36.640 --> 00:34:38.720
Come with me.

548
00:34:40.840 --> 00:34:42.840
Countess took you on a mission?

549
00:34:42.840 --> 00:34:45.240
Yes. Well, I didn't really
do anything, but...

550
00:34:45.240 --> 00:34:48.400
Is that what you do here?
Make people fall in love?

551
00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:51.960
Yeah, fall in love, divorce,
discover gravity, move cities,

552
00:34:51.960 --> 00:34:55.000
invent combustion engines,
try a new cafe...

553
00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:56.520
Careful with those!

554
00:34:56.520 --> 00:35:00.960
We control their gut instincts.
If only for a few seconds.

555
00:35:00.960 --> 00:35:02.240
But why?

556
00:35:02.240 --> 00:35:03.360
Yes, exactly!

557
00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:06.200
No credit.
Not nearly enough money.

558
00:35:06.200 --> 00:35:07.800
Never any gratitude.

559
00:35:07.800 --> 00:35:11.360
Why waste our precious time
helping ungrateful sods

560
00:35:11.360 --> 00:35:13.480
who are just
going to die anyway?

561
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:17.240
(DOOR CLOSES)

562
00:35:17.240 --> 00:35:19.400
(FOOTSTEPS)

563
00:35:37.040 --> 00:35:39.600
We're on the brink, Paul.

564
00:35:39.600 --> 00:35:41.800
On the edge of history.

565
00:35:41.800 --> 00:35:45.320
We were just about to launch
Operation Fine Print -

566
00:35:45.320 --> 00:35:47.400
the most audacious
influence campaign

567
00:35:47.400 --> 00:35:49.320
ever undertaken -

568
00:35:49.320 --> 00:35:52.200
when we hit a bit of a snag.

569
00:35:52.200 --> 00:35:58.200
And now only you, Paul,
can put us back on track.

570
00:35:58.200 --> 00:36:01.440
- Me?
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah, well...

571
00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:03.760
Yeah, but you have
a unique talent.

572
00:36:03.760 --> 00:36:06.160
You're more than
just a Diviner.

573
00:36:07.040 --> 00:36:08.440
I'm a... Diviner?

574
00:36:08.440 --> 00:36:12.480
Your parents must be
so proud of you.

575
00:36:12.480 --> 00:36:16.080
DENNIS: His parents? They're
barely even aware he's alive.

576
00:36:17.520 --> 00:36:20.600
When he was six, his father
lost him at a funfair.

577
00:36:20.600 --> 00:36:23.240
Took him 22 minutes to realise.

578
00:36:23.240 --> 00:36:24.960
Their house
was hardly ever clean

579
00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:27.240
because his mother
spent most of her time

580
00:36:27.240 --> 00:36:28.600
having three affairs.

581
00:36:28.600 --> 00:36:30.280
Dad had no idea.

582
00:36:30.280 --> 00:36:31.840
Who was the third affair?

583
00:36:31.840 --> 00:36:33.920
We don't get to choose
our parents.

584
00:36:33.920 --> 00:36:36.640
Dennis's father looked
like a squashed toad.

585
00:36:36.640 --> 00:36:39.840
My father was
a controlling egomaniac.

586
00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:42.600
You know, he presented
as a warm and gentle leader,

587
00:36:42.600 --> 00:36:45.000
but behind the scenes,
he was evil.

588
00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:47.640
When I was 12,

589
00:36:47.640 --> 00:36:50.720
he sat me down,
put a pen in my hand

590
00:36:50.720 --> 00:36:52.280
and made me write a contract.

591
00:36:52.280 --> 00:36:57.960
"I, Humphrey Wells,
promise very hard

592
00:36:57.960 --> 00:37:00.480
"never to betray my father.

593
00:37:00.480 --> 00:37:04.400
"And if I do,
my soul will be his."

594
00:37:04.400 --> 00:37:07.920
He kept that contract.
Never let it out of his sight.

595
00:37:07.920 --> 00:37:10.720
It imprisoned me,
kept me silent,

596
00:37:10.720 --> 00:37:13.800
forced me to be
the obedient, dutiful son.

597
00:37:13.800 --> 00:37:17.760
It was his insurance policy
against me.

598
00:37:17.760 --> 00:37:21.440
What kind of father needs an
insurance against his own son?!

599
00:37:27.280 --> 00:37:29.680
We're very similar, you and I.

600
00:37:29.680 --> 00:37:30.960
You think?

601
00:37:30.960 --> 00:37:32.560
Mmm.

602
00:37:32.560 --> 00:37:36.000
Undervalued. Underestimated.

603
00:37:36.000 --> 00:37:37.280
(BLOWS NOSE)

604
00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:39.920
I suppose, maybe, in that way.

605
00:37:43.640 --> 00:37:45.800
Can I trust you,

606
00:37:45.800 --> 00:37:49.640
Paul Carpenter of 57
Wrigglesworth Street, Nunhead?

607
00:37:49.640 --> 00:37:51.240
Um...

608
00:37:51.240 --> 00:37:52.760
...I mean, I'm number 59,

609
00:37:52.760 --> 00:37:56.240
but, yes,
I think you can trust me, yes.

610
00:37:59.240 --> 00:38:01.320
I've lost something.

611
00:38:02.400 --> 00:38:04.440
Something not only dear to me,

612
00:38:04.440 --> 00:38:07.400
but immeasurably valuable.

613
00:38:07.400 --> 00:38:11.480
Oh. That's no good.
Where did you last see it?

614
00:38:11.480 --> 00:38:13.120
Well, that's irrelevant.

615
00:38:13.120 --> 00:38:14.760
It's not a watch or a wallet.

616
00:38:14.760 --> 00:38:17.320
It's one of the most powerful
and coveted items

617
00:38:17.320 --> 00:38:18.840
ever to exist.

618
00:38:18.840 --> 00:38:21.480
Oh. Right. Gosh.

619
00:38:21.480 --> 00:38:24.800
The trouble is, it has
the ability to disguise itself.

620
00:38:24.800 --> 00:38:26.760
Like an octopus.

621
00:38:26.760 --> 00:38:29.520
It is not like an octopus.

622
00:38:33.640 --> 00:38:36.120
(WHISPERS) Do you think
we have the right man here?

623
00:38:36.120 --> 00:38:38.840
(MUTTERS)

624
00:38:38.840 --> 00:38:41.600
I need you to find it, Paul.

625
00:38:41.600 --> 00:38:44.040
It's somewhere in this
building. I know that.

626
00:38:44.040 --> 00:38:45.560
But it will refuse to be found,

627
00:38:45.560 --> 00:38:48.960
so you will have to pretend
that you're not looking for it.

628
00:38:48.960 --> 00:38:51.080
Pretend I'm not looking for it.

629
00:38:51.080 --> 00:38:55.080
Yeah, I put all my trust
in you.

630
00:38:55.080 --> 00:38:58.600
Because the thing...

631
00:38:58.600 --> 00:39:01.840
...the thing that I want
you to find... that thing...

632
00:39:01.840 --> 00:39:04.320
It's a door.

633
00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:06.640
Yes, thank you, Dennis.

634
00:39:08.120 --> 00:39:10.640
It's a door. A portable door,
to be specific.

635
00:39:10.640 --> 00:39:11.720
Portable...

636
00:39:11.720 --> 00:39:13.840
You're not to share this
with anyone.

637
00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:16.600
- Even your blossoming romance.
- Oh, we're definitely not...

638
00:39:16.600 --> 00:39:19.440
You must find it. It's crucial
for Operation Fine Print

639
00:39:19.440 --> 00:39:21.640
and the new dawn
of the company.

640
00:39:21.640 --> 00:39:24.360
Would you say everything
hinges on his success?

641
00:39:24.360 --> 00:39:29.160
Yes, I would say everything
hinges on... his success.

642
00:39:29.160 --> 00:39:31.240
Hm?

643
00:39:33.520 --> 00:39:35.360
Find my door.

644
00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:37.160
- OK.
- Good man.

645
00:39:37.160 --> 00:39:39.240
How?

646
00:39:40.680 --> 00:39:42.600
You have the gift.

647
00:39:42.600 --> 00:39:45.160
Fate has brought us together.

648
00:39:45.160 --> 00:39:47.640
This is your time to shine!

649
00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:52.800
So... go shine.

650
00:39:55.360 --> 00:39:57.280
And, Paul...

651
00:39:57.280 --> 00:39:59.480
(BOTH SHUSHING)

652
00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:07.280
(ENTRANCING MUSIC)

653
00:40:11.920 --> 00:40:15.520
Just find the door. Easy.

654
00:40:17.680 --> 00:40:21.480
Here, door! Come on, door!

655
00:40:32.320 --> 00:40:33.960
Are you looking for something?

656
00:40:33.960 --> 00:40:35.560
No.

657
00:40:35.560 --> 00:40:38.880
You look like
you're looking for something.

658
00:40:38.880 --> 00:40:41.040
Don't think so. No.

659
00:40:41.040 --> 00:40:44.080
Not very sure of yourself,
are you?

660
00:40:44.080 --> 00:40:46.360
Do you remember who I am?

661
00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:49.880
Blank.

662
00:40:49.880 --> 00:40:51.920
I'm Nienke Van Spee,

663
00:40:51.920 --> 00:40:54.120
ASTP, KMCC.

664
00:40:54.120 --> 00:40:56.160
- Paul.
- ASTP stands for

665
00:40:56.160 --> 00:40:59.760
'Associate of the Society of
Thaumaturgical Practitioners'.

666
00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:03.080
- Right.
- Say that with a lisp.

667
00:41:03.080 --> 00:41:05.160
- (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)

668
00:41:05.160 --> 00:41:06.120
And KMCC

669
00:41:06.120 --> 00:41:09.000
stands for 'Keeper of the
Magician's Code of Conduct'.

670
00:41:09.000 --> 00:41:10.320
Which means you come to me

671
00:41:10.320 --> 00:41:12.520
if you hear of
any illegal use of magic.

672
00:41:12.520 --> 00:41:14.760
Have you? Heard of any?

673
00:41:15.960 --> 00:41:19.120
How are you enjoying
the new job?

674
00:41:19.120 --> 00:41:20.720
Oh, Sophie's a delight.

675
00:41:20.720 --> 00:41:22.840
If you were
to buy her a present,

676
00:41:22.840 --> 00:41:24.920
I would suggest
a small woollen scarf

677
00:41:24.920 --> 00:41:26.240
or a good-quality torch.

678
00:41:26.240 --> 00:41:27.800
And under no circumstances

679
00:41:27.800 --> 00:41:30.200
should you kiss her
after eating licorice.

680
00:41:30.200 --> 00:41:32.920
- Oh, we're not...
- She hates the stuff.

681
00:41:35.200 --> 00:41:38.120
How are you finding Mr Wells?

682
00:41:38.120 --> 00:41:41.480
He's a wonderful boss. Honest.

683
00:41:41.480 --> 00:41:43.880
Eyes down here, pumpkin.

684
00:41:43.880 --> 00:41:47.240
What you see is what you get
with Mr Wells.

685
00:41:47.240 --> 00:41:50.880
No, there's... there's not
a thing I worry about

686
00:41:50.880 --> 00:41:53.680
with Humphrey at the helm.

687
00:41:53.680 --> 00:41:55.800
What are you looking at,
potato face?

688
00:41:55.800 --> 00:41:56.760
Sorry.

689
00:41:56.760 --> 00:41:58.960
Are you working
with him closely?

690
00:41:58.960 --> 00:42:02.240
Not really. No.

691
00:42:02.240 --> 00:42:05.400
Well, I hope
you get that chance.

692
00:42:05.400 --> 00:42:07.880
He seems to really like you.

693
00:42:07.880 --> 00:42:10.320
Which is bewildering to us all.

694
00:42:12.920 --> 00:42:14.600
Bit of a turnip, aren't you?

695
00:42:14.600 --> 00:42:16.400
You certainly didn't
get my vote.

696
00:42:16.400 --> 00:42:18.160
Anyhoo, must toot.

697
00:42:18.160 --> 00:42:20.080
Maybe you'll prove me wrong!

698
00:42:20.080 --> 00:42:21.480
(BELLS CHIMING)

699
00:42:21.480 --> 00:42:24.760
NIENKE: It's five o'clock!
Go home, Paul!

700
00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:40.760
(DOOR CREAKING)

701
00:42:47.640 --> 00:42:50.880
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

702
00:43:11.600 --> 00:43:13.840
(HOUSE CREAKING SOFTLY)

703
00:43:27.880 --> 00:43:29.760
- (RAPID WHOOSHING)
- (YELPS)

704
00:43:29.760 --> 00:43:31.280
Don't panic. It's just a dream.

705
00:43:31.280 --> 00:43:33.080
- Who are you?
- I'm Casimir Suslowicz.

706
00:43:33.080 --> 00:43:34.800
What are you doing
in my bedroom?

707
00:43:34.800 --> 00:43:37.560
This is not your bedroom.
This is a dream of your bedroom

708
00:43:37.560 --> 00:43:39.200
- that I am in.
- Why? How?

709
00:43:39.200 --> 00:43:43.000
It's what I do. I find it's the
best way to get to the truth.

710
00:43:43.000 --> 00:43:44.160
Truth?

711
00:43:44.160 --> 00:43:46.000
Because we've all
been wondering

712
00:43:46.000 --> 00:43:48.680
why Mr Wells hired you.

713
00:43:49.960 --> 00:43:52.760
I can find bauxite on a map.

714
00:43:56.360 --> 00:43:59.000
- Are you...?
- Waiting for the truth? Yes.

715
00:43:59.000 --> 00:44:03.160
This company got out of bauxite
107 years ago.

716
00:44:03.160 --> 00:44:06.480
Why did he hire you?

717
00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:08.600
I don't know what to tell you. Honestly.

718
00:44:08.600 --> 00:44:11.760
I...I think he just saw
some real potential in me

719
00:44:11.760 --> 00:44:13.600
- and he... he...
- (WHOOSHING)

720
00:44:13.600 --> 00:44:15.320
W...

721
00:44:15.320 --> 00:44:16.600
(PAUL GASPS)

722
00:44:16.600 --> 00:44:18.920
What's wrong, Paul?
Foot hurting?

723
00:44:18.920 --> 00:44:22.720
- (SHRIEKS)
- Why were you hired, Paul?

724
00:44:26.720 --> 00:44:28.800
Not sure you can hear me.

725
00:44:28.800 --> 00:44:31.200
(VOICE BOOMING) Can you
hear me now?

726
00:44:31.200 --> 00:44:33.880
Why did he hire you?

727
00:44:33.880 --> 00:44:35.120
(PANTS, GROANS)

728
00:44:35.120 --> 00:44:37.280
- I can't say!
- I can do worse, Paul.

729
00:44:37.280 --> 00:44:39.760
I can do a lot worse
now that I'm in here.

730
00:44:39.760 --> 00:44:41.120
But it's just a dream, right?

731
00:44:41.120 --> 00:44:43.040
(MOCKING) Oh, yes,
it's just a dream!

732
00:44:43.040 --> 00:44:45.600
But things have real-world
consequences, Paul.

733
00:44:45.600 --> 00:44:47.760
I could make you strip off,

734
00:44:47.760 --> 00:44:50.160
go for a little sleepwalk outside.

735
00:44:50.160 --> 00:44:51.560
You wouldn't!

736
00:44:51.560 --> 00:44:53.440
I can make a little bit
of wee come out.

737
00:44:53.440 --> 00:44:55.040
Quite a bit, actually.

738
00:44:55.040 --> 00:44:56.200
OK! Alright!

739
00:44:56.200 --> 00:44:58.840
(MUFFLED) He wants me to find
the portable door!

740
00:44:58.840 --> 00:45:00.920
(WHOOSHING)

741
00:45:01.800 --> 00:45:03.080
So...

742
00:45:03.080 --> 00:45:07.080
...Humphrey has lost
his portable door.

743
00:45:07.080 --> 00:45:09.000
I don't know what it does.

744
00:45:09.000 --> 00:45:11.880
I mean, why does he
want it so badly?

745
00:45:12.880 --> 00:45:14.320
You know the saying

746
00:45:14.320 --> 00:45:17.160
"There is only one way
to the Bank of the Dead"?

747
00:45:17.160 --> 00:45:20.240
No, actually. W-what's the one
way to the Bank of the Dead?

748
00:45:20.240 --> 00:45:21.560
Dying.

749
00:45:21.560 --> 00:45:25.120
Well, it turns out
that's not entirely true.

750
00:45:26.040 --> 00:45:27.880
There is another way.

751
00:45:27.880 --> 00:45:29.960
(GASPS)

752
00:45:30.600 --> 00:45:32.240
Bank of the what?

753
00:45:32.240 --> 00:45:34.480
- (PHONE CHIMES)
- You're still dreaming.

754
00:45:34.480 --> 00:45:36.560
Agh!

755
00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:50.040
(PHONES CHIMING AND CLICKING)

756
00:45:53.000 --> 00:45:55.520
(ROSIE CHATTERING AND LAUGHING)

757
00:45:55.520 --> 00:45:57.040
I could just eat you up.

758
00:45:57.040 --> 00:45:58.920
(CHUCKLES, KISSES)

759
00:45:58.920 --> 00:46:01.000
Oh...

760
00:46:01.960 --> 00:46:03.960
(SOPHIE CLEARS THROAT)

761
00:46:06.640 --> 00:46:09.640
I love office supplies.

762
00:46:14.680 --> 00:46:17.040
I always wanted
to be a Coincidator.

763
00:46:18.040 --> 00:46:19.520
Is that what I am?

764
00:46:19.520 --> 00:46:21.680
(COLDLY) "Is that what I am?"

765
00:46:23.160 --> 00:46:25.360
- (INTERCOM BEEPS)
- She's here.

766
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:30.160
Right. Just pretend
you're not looking for it.

767
00:46:32.880 --> 00:46:36.760
(FAINT CREAKING)

768
00:47:05.960 --> 00:47:07.960
(DOOR CLOSES)

769
00:47:10.040 --> 00:47:13.320
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

770
00:47:22.320 --> 00:47:24.640
(LOW ELECTRONIC BUZZING)

771
00:47:26.480 --> 00:47:30.120
(FAINT ELECTRONIC BUZZING)

772
00:47:33.680 --> 00:47:36.560
(FAINT ELECTRONIC PULSING)

773
00:47:40.600 --> 00:47:44.640
(ELECTRONIC PULSING
INTENSIFIES)

774
00:47:49.200 --> 00:47:52.080
(LOW ELECTRONIC BUZZING)

775
00:47:54.600 --> 00:47:57.480
(HIGH-PITCHED RINGING)

776
00:48:15.200 --> 00:48:17.200
"Goblins only."

777
00:48:37.200 --> 00:48:40.840
- (DOOR OPENS)
- (GASPS)

778
00:48:40.840 --> 00:48:44.240
DENNIS: Did I give you
permission to be down here?

779
00:48:45.400 --> 00:48:47.160
(HURRIED FOOTSTEPS)

780
00:48:47.160 --> 00:48:51.280
Let me think. Did I give you
permission to be down here?

781
00:48:51.280 --> 00:48:52.920
No, I did not!

782
00:48:52.920 --> 00:48:54.560
Sorry, Mr Tanner. I...

783
00:48:54.560 --> 00:48:57.240
I thought it might be
a good place to look for the...

784
00:48:57.240 --> 00:48:58.600
...you know.

785
00:48:58.600 --> 00:49:00.000
(WHISPERS) The what?

786
00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:01.720
(WHISPERS) Portable door.

787
00:49:01.720 --> 00:49:03.600
The portable door.

788
00:49:03.600 --> 00:49:07.040
Rather a big project
for an intern.

789
00:49:07.040 --> 00:49:09.000
How's it going, by the way?

790
00:49:09.000 --> 00:49:12.120
Um... I think I'll be OK.

791
00:49:12.120 --> 00:49:14.480
If I were you, Carpenter,

792
00:49:14.480 --> 00:49:16.160
I would just give up now

793
00:49:16.160 --> 00:49:20.400
because when you fail -
and undoubtedly you will -

794
00:49:20.400 --> 00:49:25.240
there are no words to describe
what Mr Wells will do to you.

795
00:49:25.240 --> 00:49:26.800
Oh, here's one.

796
00:49:26.800 --> 00:49:28.440
Gut.

797
00:49:28.440 --> 00:49:31.040
Another. Impale.

798
00:49:31.040 --> 00:49:33.000
Marinate.
Oh, they're coming now.

799
00:49:33.000 --> 00:49:35.000
Yes. Fry, poach...

800
00:49:35.000 --> 00:49:36.720
- OK. Thanks.
- Peel, roast...

801
00:49:36.720 --> 00:49:39.840
- I think I get the...
- Disembowel!

802
00:49:47.920 --> 00:49:51.040
(MENACING MUSIC)

803
00:49:53.280 --> 00:49:55.560
(CONTAINERS CLATTERING)
DENNIS: Get...!

804
00:49:59.800 --> 00:50:02.600
I know this is probably
a stupid question,

805
00:50:02.600 --> 00:50:04.520
but who's down there?

806
00:50:04.520 --> 00:50:05.880
Goblins.

807
00:50:05.880 --> 00:50:07.840
We've worked with them
for centuries.

808
00:50:07.840 --> 00:50:10.040
They follow humans.
They watch you at night.

809
00:50:10.040 --> 00:50:12.640
Steal from you.
Sabotage your day.

810
00:50:12.640 --> 00:50:13.840
They're basically obsessed.

811
00:50:13.840 --> 00:50:18.040
And we use that obsession
to arrange coincidences.

812
00:50:20.360 --> 00:50:21.800
Ask the dry cleaner

813
00:50:21.800 --> 00:50:24.040
if you can stick this poster
on their wall.

814
00:50:24.040 --> 00:50:27.320
Her long-lost cousin
will come by in a few days.

815
00:50:30.440 --> 00:50:32.720
SOPHIE: Excuse me. Hi.

816
00:50:32.720 --> 00:50:34.600
Would I be able
to put this poster up?

817
00:50:34.600 --> 00:50:36.640
- My friend lost her dog.
- Course, love.

818
00:50:36.640 --> 00:50:39.400
SOPHIE: Thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.

819
00:50:39.400 --> 00:50:41.760
Alright, you have a lovely day, yeah?

820
00:50:41.760 --> 00:50:43.840
You too, bye.

821
00:51:08.400 --> 00:51:12.120
I'm sure you've noticed. This
company is at war with itself.

822
00:51:12.120 --> 00:51:17.120
<i>Ever since John Wells
mysteriously - suspiciously -</i>

823
00:51:17.120 --> 00:51:18.800
<i>disappeared,</i>

824
00:51:18.800 --> 00:51:20.760
<i>things have changed.</i>

825
00:51:20.760 --> 00:51:25.040
<i>It was the same day Dennis's
father, Arthur, disappeared.</i>

826
00:51:25.040 --> 00:51:28.280
<i>Those two sons
are up to something,</i>

827
00:51:28.280 --> 00:51:30.600
<i>and it's not just renovations.</i>

828
00:51:32.640 --> 00:51:35.600
<i>We're not sure what or when,</i>

829
00:51:35.600 --> 00:51:39.320
<i>we're not even sure why
he hired your scruffy friend,</i>

830
00:51:39.320 --> 00:51:42.000
<i>but it's connected somehow.</i>

831
00:51:43.320 --> 00:51:45.680
I don't think he knows
why he's been hired.

832
00:51:45.680 --> 00:51:50.280
I mean...
he's quite nice, but...

833
00:51:50.280 --> 00:51:53.160
...I can't really tell
when he...

834
00:51:55.160 --> 00:51:57.680
You're a jumble of a human,
aren't you?

835
00:51:59.360 --> 00:52:02.160
You're very good
at reading people.

836
00:52:02.160 --> 00:52:04.680
You could be a great Seer.

837
00:52:04.680 --> 00:52:08.160
But you don't seem
to make sense inside.

838
00:52:09.800 --> 00:52:13.520
It's like you have two
instincts fighting each other.

839
00:52:13.520 --> 00:52:15.600
Is there something
I should know?

840
00:52:17.640 --> 00:52:19.160
I am...

841
00:52:19.160 --> 00:52:21.240
I don't think...

842
00:52:22.560 --> 00:52:24.560
I guess I'm just...

843
00:52:25.960 --> 00:52:29.400
...as you say... a jumble.

844
00:52:34.920 --> 00:52:37.040
SOPHIE: I don't know
what's happening to me.

845
00:52:37.040 --> 00:52:39.840
I'm listening to jazz,
drinking coffee, which I hate.

846
00:52:39.840 --> 00:52:41.080
I'm suddenly loving balloons.

847
00:52:41.080 --> 00:52:43.080
I just don't know
who I am anymore.

848
00:52:43.080 --> 00:52:45.520
DENNIS: That's fascinating.
Am I supposed to care?

849
00:52:45.520 --> 00:52:47.200
SOPHIE: I want
to change my mind.

850
00:52:47.200 --> 00:52:50.280
DENNIS: Well, too bad because
you signed the contract!

851
00:52:51.280 --> 00:52:52.880
PAUL: Everything OK?

852
00:52:52.880 --> 00:52:55.160
What?

853
00:52:55.160 --> 00:52:56.800
It's 4:53.

854
00:52:56.800 --> 00:52:59.040
Seven minutes
to leave the building!

855
00:53:01.120 --> 00:53:03.120
I'm fine.

856
00:53:05.240 --> 00:53:06.680
Coming?

857
00:53:06.680 --> 00:53:08.760
Yep.

858
00:53:10.240 --> 00:53:13.080
Sounded like a heated chat.
With Tanner?

859
00:53:13.080 --> 00:53:16.120
Ugh, it was just a disagreement
about my employment contract.

860
00:53:16.120 --> 00:53:19.200
- You're not leaving, are you?
- Starting to think I should.

861
00:53:19.200 --> 00:53:21.520
That'd be awful. And sad.

862
00:53:21.520 --> 00:53:22.600
Why?

863
00:53:22.600 --> 00:53:25.240
(WHISPERS) 'Cause who
would protect you from...?

864
00:53:25.240 --> 00:53:26.920
Exactly.

865
00:53:26.920 --> 00:53:29.400
Just be glad
you're not a stapler.

866
00:53:34.040 --> 00:53:37.160
I suddenly... really...

867
00:53:37.160 --> 00:53:40.600
...in my heart...

868
00:53:41.640 --> 00:53:43.800
...need...

869
00:53:45.840 --> 00:53:47.480
...liquorice.

870
00:53:47.480 --> 00:53:49.280
You hate liquorice, don't you?

871
00:53:49.280 --> 00:53:52.000
Yes, I did. But now I love it.

872
00:53:55.080 --> 00:53:56.560
Mmm!

873
00:53:56.560 --> 00:53:59.440
(WITH MOUTH FULL)
Mmm, it's so, um... liquorice-y.

874
00:53:59.440 --> 00:54:03.280
(CHUCKLES)

875
00:54:08.560 --> 00:54:09.840
(GAGS)

876
00:54:09.840 --> 00:54:12.440
(COUGHS, RETCHES)

877
00:54:13.680 --> 00:54:14.640
(COUGHS)

878
00:54:14.640 --> 00:54:17.520
- Do you want to get a drink?
- Yes, please. (GAGS)

879
00:54:21.320 --> 00:54:23.920
(MOODY SWING MUSIC PLAYING)

880
00:54:25.520 --> 00:54:28.560
I don't know why I ate that.
How can anyone eat that?

881
00:54:28.560 --> 00:54:30.200
I actually don't mind liquorice.

882
00:54:30.200 --> 00:54:33.000
Yes, but you dress like
a 12-year-old accountant.

883
00:54:33.000 --> 00:54:34.600
Really?

884
00:54:34.600 --> 00:54:36.680
Sorry.

885
00:54:38.360 --> 00:54:42.160
Listen... is everything OK?

886
00:54:42.160 --> 00:54:44.040
Yep.

887
00:54:44.040 --> 00:54:45.960
Fine.

888
00:54:45.960 --> 00:54:48.600
I guess I just thought...

889
00:54:49.480 --> 00:54:51.240
You'd be CEO by now.

890
00:54:51.240 --> 00:54:54.040
Ha. Yes.

891
00:54:54.040 --> 00:54:57.480
I don't know, I'm grateful
for the fast track

892
00:54:57.480 --> 00:54:59.400
and the Countess, but...

893
00:54:59.400 --> 00:55:01.720
...what if the downside
isn't worth it?

894
00:55:01.720 --> 00:55:04.360
Well, what's the downside?

895
00:55:04.360 --> 00:55:05.920
Being miserable all the time?

896
00:55:05.920 --> 00:55:08.720
I'm not miserable.
I'm ambitious.

897
00:55:08.720 --> 00:55:10.400
You wouldn't get it, Paul.

898
00:55:10.400 --> 00:55:12.280
You know, you're happy looking
at maps all day

899
00:55:12.280 --> 00:55:15.000
and you don't need more.
I just, I wish I was...

900
00:55:18.520 --> 00:55:22.080
Oh... my...God.

901
00:55:22.080 --> 00:55:24.080
You <i>are</i> doing more.

902
00:55:24.080 --> 00:55:26.040
- What?
- What you doing?

903
00:55:26.040 --> 00:55:28.800
What? Nothing.
I can't say. It's... Nothing.

904
00:55:30.800 --> 00:55:35.400
Mr Wells has me on a
special task. But I can't say.

905
00:55:35.400 --> 00:55:37.760
It seems pretty important
to him, though.

906
00:55:37.760 --> 00:55:39.560
'Cause I'm the only one who...

907
00:55:39.560 --> 00:55:42.440
- You're the only one who what?
- I can't say.

908
00:55:45.120 --> 00:55:46.600
OK.

909
00:55:46.600 --> 00:55:49.240
Well, just so you know,
be careful.

910
00:55:49.240 --> 00:55:50.360
Of what?

911
00:55:50.360 --> 00:55:53.080
Of him. Humphrey.
He's not normal.

912
00:55:53.080 --> 00:55:56.760
Oh, and Countess is just
your average office manager.

913
00:55:56.760 --> 00:56:00.160
He's not gonna want something
for nothing, Paul.

914
00:56:00.160 --> 00:56:03.080
Seriously, what's with all
the hating on Humphrey Wells?

915
00:56:03.080 --> 00:56:05.360
He doesn't push
innocent people into fountains.

916
00:56:05.360 --> 00:56:07.840
You're so naive.
We know there's more to this

917
00:56:07.840 --> 00:56:10.080
- New Dawn than renovations.
- Who's 'we'?

918
00:56:10.080 --> 00:56:12.520
Plus, Countess thinks he
disappeared his father.

919
00:56:12.520 --> 00:56:14.560
- Well, where's John Wells?
- I dunno.

920
00:56:14.560 --> 00:56:17.120
- Retired.
- Huh.

921
00:56:18.640 --> 00:56:21.160
Just...

922
00:56:21.160 --> 00:56:23.560
...consider yourself warned.

923
00:56:25.920 --> 00:56:27.840
Maybe you're jealous.

924
00:56:27.840 --> 00:56:29.400
Maybe you can't handle the fact

925
00:56:29.400 --> 00:56:31.160
that the CEO loves me
and not you.

926
00:56:31.160 --> 00:56:32.920
Have you always been
this arrogant?

927
00:56:32.920 --> 00:56:34.720
Maybe I'm on
a super fast track.

928
00:56:34.720 --> 00:56:35.880
A super fast track?

929
00:56:35.880 --> 00:56:38.840
You're on a regular fast track.
The truth is hard to hear.

930
00:56:38.840 --> 00:56:41.080
Believe me, you are not.
You fell into this job.

931
00:56:41.080 --> 00:56:43.440
You weren't plucked from
obscurity by the CEO

932
00:56:43.440 --> 00:56:46.440
because they can't find any
other middling-intelligent,

933
00:56:46.440 --> 00:56:49.360
slightly good-looking English
boys in the city of London.

934
00:56:49.360 --> 00:56:51.520
If the CEO is asking you
to find something,

935
00:56:51.520 --> 00:56:54.600
it's because they don't know
what else to do with you.

936
00:56:58.160 --> 00:57:01.640
(MOODY SWING MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING)

937
00:57:10.480 --> 00:57:13.400
OK. Well, this was fun.

938
00:57:13.400 --> 00:57:15.480
- Let's do it again.
- Yep.

939
00:57:27.160 --> 00:57:29.160
(DOOR OPENS)

940
00:57:30.680 --> 00:57:32.960
(ROSIE CHORTLES)

941
00:57:32.960 --> 00:57:34.720
Here he is.

942
00:57:34.720 --> 00:57:36.800
The date from hell?

943
00:57:36.800 --> 00:57:38.120
What?

944
00:57:38.120 --> 00:57:40.360
"Let's go for a drink
and yell at each other."

945
00:57:40.360 --> 00:57:43.600
- Whoa, hang on...
- Not cool, Romeo!

946
00:57:43.600 --> 00:57:45.680
(WHISPERS) Not cool.

947
00:57:49.040 --> 00:57:52.360
Paul! Casimir Suslowicz.

948
00:57:52.360 --> 00:57:54.680
We met at your interview.

949
00:57:57.680 --> 00:57:59.680
Well, hope you're adjusting.

950
00:58:00.600 --> 00:58:02.600
Must dash.

951
00:58:04.480 --> 00:58:07.320
PAUL: Right.
Today's the day, Paul.

952
00:58:07.320 --> 00:58:09.480
MONTY: Today is what day?

953
00:58:12.080 --> 00:58:14.800
- I know you.
- I look like a lot of people.

954
00:58:14.800 --> 00:58:17.320
Monty. We met
before my interview.

955
00:58:17.320 --> 00:58:19.720
Who knows? Anyway,
turn around and go back up.

956
00:58:19.720 --> 00:58:22.520
- I was just gonna look down...
- Well, you can't.

957
00:58:22.520 --> 00:58:24.640
- Why not?
- I don't have those details.

958
00:58:24.640 --> 00:58:27.400
All I've been told is "Don't
let anyone in the basement."

959
00:58:27.400 --> 00:58:29.040
But there's just an old closet
down there.

960
00:58:29.040 --> 00:58:31.520
- That's what I said - closet.
- You said basement.

961
00:58:31.520 --> 00:58:34.480
- No, no, I said closet.
- You definitely said basement.

962
00:58:36.760 --> 00:58:39.560
(WHISPERS) Please don't tell
Mr Tanner I said that.

963
00:58:39.560 --> 00:58:40.480
Why not?

964
00:58:40.480 --> 00:58:42.640
He's very creative
with his punishment.

965
00:58:42.640 --> 00:58:45.760
You didn't teach me
History of Music

966
00:58:45.760 --> 00:58:48.120
or coach football, did you?

967
00:58:48.120 --> 00:58:50.240
No.

968
00:58:50.240 --> 00:58:52.760
You were trying to make me
miss my interview.

969
00:58:52.760 --> 00:58:55.120
Yes. As instructed.

970
00:58:58.360 --> 00:59:01.160
I won't tell Mr Tanner
you said basement.

971
00:59:01.160 --> 00:59:03.320
Oh, that's very decent of you.

972
00:59:03.320 --> 00:59:05.400
If you let me go down there.

973
00:59:30.280 --> 00:59:32.280
(ELECTRONIC PULSING)

974
00:59:33.040 --> 00:59:36.320
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

975
00:59:50.120 --> 00:59:53.360
(UNEARTHLY RUMBLING)

976
01:00:04.240 --> 01:00:07.480
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES)

977
01:00:23.760 --> 01:00:25.760
(MOUSE SQUEAKS)

978
01:00:55.360 --> 01:00:58.040
(MONKEY CACKLES)

979
01:01:20.040 --> 01:01:22.040
(KRAKEN GRUNTS QUIZZICALLY)

980
01:01:33.280 --> 01:01:35.280
(MUSIC STOPS)

981
01:01:48.840 --> 01:01:51.720
- (LOW ELECTRONIC BUZZING)
- (YELPS, GASPS)

982
01:01:53.400 --> 01:01:56.560
(SINISTER MUSIC)

983
01:02:03.320 --> 01:02:07.000
(ELECTRONIC PULSING)

984
01:02:12.120 --> 01:02:14.440
- (LOW ELECTRONIC BUZZING)
- (GASPS)

985
01:02:14.440 --> 01:02:16.760
(SOFT GROWLING)

986
01:02:16.760 --> 01:02:18.840
- (BARKS)
- Agh!

987
01:02:30.480 --> 01:02:32.800
- (LOW ELECTRONIC BUZZING)
- (GASPS)

988
01:02:32.800 --> 01:02:35.000
(SHUSHING)

989
01:02:37.080 --> 01:02:39.080
(GRUNTS)

990
01:02:45.720 --> 01:02:48.160
(GRUNTING)

991
01:02:48.160 --> 01:02:50.240
(STAPLER THUDS)

992
01:03:08.320 --> 01:03:10.600
(FAINT ELECTRONIC BUZZING)

993
01:03:10.600 --> 01:03:14.440
(ELECTRONIC BUZZING
INTENSIFIES AND ABATES)

994
01:03:22.000 --> 01:03:26.080
(LOW ELECTRONIC BUZZING
INTENSIFIES)

995
01:03:28.680 --> 01:03:31.480
(ANGELIC CHORAL MUSIC)

996
01:03:36.360 --> 01:03:39.560
(ANGELIC CHORAL MUSIC SWELLS)

997
01:03:51.960 --> 01:03:53.600
Found you.

998
01:03:53.600 --> 01:03:55.040
(DOORKNOB TWISTING)

999
01:03:55.040 --> 01:03:57.320
(DOOR CREAKING)

1000
01:04:34.440 --> 01:04:37.000
(OMINOUS MUSIC)

1001
01:04:37.000 --> 01:04:39.680
HUMPHREY: (FAINTLY) Ladies
and gentlemen, my friends,

1002
01:04:39.680 --> 01:04:44.160
if I may get your attention.
Thank you.

1003
01:04:44.160 --> 01:04:47.200
What you're about to see -

1004
01:04:47.200 --> 01:04:50.040
and it's not exaggerating
to say this -

1005
01:04:50.040 --> 01:04:54.000
is going to change
the world forever.

1006
01:04:54.000 --> 01:04:55.920
(MUFFLED CHATTER)

1007
01:04:55.920 --> 01:04:58.360
HUMPHREY: See, for centuries,

1008
01:04:58.360 --> 01:05:02.480
we at JW Wells
have been in the business

1009
01:05:02.480 --> 01:05:07.600
of changing small lives
in small ways.

1010
01:05:07.600 --> 01:05:09.720
Absolutely lovely. (KISSES)

1011
01:05:09.720 --> 01:05:14.600
Now, this has always struck me
as an odd waste of our talents.

1012
01:05:14.600 --> 01:05:18.880
So when my father disappeared,
presumed dead,

1013
01:05:18.880 --> 01:05:21.680
I decided this was our chance.

1014
01:05:21.680 --> 01:05:24.200
Opportunity is right there
in front of us,

1015
01:05:24.200 --> 01:05:26.080
begging to be used.

1016
01:05:26.080 --> 01:05:27.120
(DOOR RATTLING)

1017
01:05:27.120 --> 01:05:30.040
HUMPHREY: We've always
provided a service

1018
01:05:30.040 --> 01:05:31.960
for our customers.

1019
01:05:31.960 --> 01:05:34.440
What if we make them serve us?

1020
01:05:34.440 --> 01:05:38.440
What if we make them
the product?

1021
01:05:38.440 --> 01:05:42.080
Mr Tanner,
let's have the guinea pig.

1022
01:05:42.080 --> 01:05:44.360
Gather round, please.

1023
01:05:44.360 --> 01:05:46.520
I have something to show you.

1024
01:05:48.560 --> 01:05:51.240
HUMPHREY: <i>Sophie, just
a few more quick questions.</i>

1025
01:05:51.240 --> 01:05:52.440
<i>Any phobias?</i>

1026
01:05:52.440 --> 01:05:54.520
<i>Balloons, weirdly.</i>

1027
01:05:54.520 --> 01:05:57.360
- HUMPHREY: <i>Do you like coffee?
- Not at all, sorry.</i>

1028
01:05:57.360 --> 01:05:58.800
<i>Favourite music style?</i>

1029
01:05:58.800 --> 01:06:01.080
<i>I like loads of music,
just not jazz.</i>

1030
01:06:01.080 --> 01:06:02.400
HUMPHREY: <i>What do you think of</i>

1031
01:06:02.400 --> 01:06:04.240
<i>when I say the word
'liquorice'?</i>

1032
01:06:04.240 --> 01:06:06.320
<i>I actually almost gag.</i>

1033
01:06:06.320 --> 01:06:08.280
<i>This is my
fast-track interview...</i>

1034
01:06:08.280 --> 01:06:10.720
OK, hold it right there.

1035
01:06:10.720 --> 01:06:12.360
After that interview,

1036
01:06:12.360 --> 01:06:16.800
we were able to influence
this young consumer.

1037
01:06:16.800 --> 01:06:19.080
SOPHIE: <i>I don't know
what's happening to me.</i>

1038
01:06:19.080 --> 01:06:21.880
<i>I'm listening to jazz,
drinking coffee, which I hate.</i>

1039
01:06:21.880 --> 01:06:23.360
<i>I'm suddenly loving balloons.</i>

1040
01:06:23.360 --> 01:06:25.440
<i>I mean, I just don't know
who I am anymore.</i>

1041
01:06:25.440 --> 01:06:28.280
(SNIGGERS)

1042
01:06:28.280 --> 01:06:30.200
(FORCED LAUGHTER)

1043
01:06:30.200 --> 01:06:32.160
HUMPHREY: Thank you, Dennis.

1044
01:06:32.160 --> 01:06:33.680
PAUL: Wait...

1045
01:06:33.680 --> 01:06:37.280
HUMPHREY: If we can do this
to a well-educated...

1046
01:06:37.280 --> 01:06:39.720
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)
HUMPHREY: ..young,

1047
01:06:39.720 --> 01:06:41.840
strong-willed individual,

1048
01:06:41.840 --> 01:06:45.360
imagine what we can do
to the masses.

1049
01:06:47.040 --> 01:06:50.320
Your property prices
will skyrocket.

1050
01:06:50.320 --> 01:06:55.240
Your consumer base
will double, triple, quadruple!

1051
01:06:55.240 --> 01:06:58.880
Your Roger will win
his election in a landslide!

1052
01:06:58.880 --> 01:07:00.360
MAN: How are you doing this?

1053
01:07:00.360 --> 01:07:02.160
HUMPHREY:
With a simple binding contract

1054
01:07:02.160 --> 01:07:03.920
they don't even know
they've signed.

1055
01:07:03.920 --> 01:07:06.680
(WHISPERS) Door!
HUMPHREY: Just like Sophie did.

1056
01:07:06.680 --> 01:07:10.920
I will sell you
the will of the people.

1057
01:07:10.920 --> 01:07:11.920
(WHISPERS) Door!

1058
01:07:11.920 --> 01:07:14.400
HUMPHREY: I will
hand you their desires,

1059
01:07:14.400 --> 01:07:17.760
their gut instincts
on a silver platter.

1060
01:07:17.760 --> 01:07:20.680
Because here at JW Wells,

1061
01:07:20.680 --> 01:07:22.400
influence is...

1062
01:07:22.400 --> 01:07:24.480
DENNIS: Whoop.

1063
01:07:25.840 --> 01:07:27.840
HUMPHREY: Thank you, Dennis.

1064
01:07:30.560 --> 01:07:35.080
Influence is no coincidence.

1065
01:07:35.080 --> 01:07:37.760
(CROWD APPLAUDS)

1066
01:07:37.760 --> 01:07:40.600
(EXCITED CHATTER)

1067
01:07:40.600 --> 01:07:42.240
PAUL: "Knock, knock".

1068
01:07:42.240 --> 01:07:44.320
OK.

1069
01:07:45.520 --> 01:07:46.840
Knock, knock.

1070
01:07:46.840 --> 01:07:48.360
(DOOR WHOOSHING)

1071
01:07:48.360 --> 01:07:51.120
HUMPHREY: Why don't we do it
over some refreshments?

1072
01:07:51.120 --> 01:07:53.600
Mr Tanner? Dennis!

1073
01:07:55.280 --> 01:07:57.280
Supermarket!

1074
01:08:08.760 --> 01:08:11.840
(CHECKOUT SCANNER BEEPING)

1075
01:08:33.040 --> 01:08:36.880
(FRANTIC OPERATIC MUSIC)

1076
01:08:48.120 --> 01:08:50.760
NIENKE: Paul.

1077
01:08:50.760 --> 01:08:54.560
Are you being chased?
PAUL: Uh, no. Fine.

1078
01:08:54.560 --> 01:08:57.120
NIENKE: You're puffing
and you look spooked.

1079
01:08:57.120 --> 01:09:00.640
Ah, no, just...
just I'm keen to get to work.

1080
01:09:00.640 --> 01:09:02.440
So, anyway, thanks for...

1081
01:09:02.440 --> 01:09:04.600
Paul.

1082
01:09:04.600 --> 01:09:09.560
If you do find it,
this is who you come to.

1083
01:09:10.600 --> 01:09:12.600
Right.

1084
01:09:14.240 --> 01:09:16.840
(FRANTIC OPERATIC MUSIC)

1085
01:09:18.440 --> 01:09:20.320
Paul!

1086
01:09:20.320 --> 01:09:22.360
We need to clear the air.

1087
01:09:22.360 --> 01:09:25.760
I'm sorry about
what I said last night.

1088
01:09:25.760 --> 01:09:28.640
But I do think we are
fundamentally different people

1089
01:09:28.640 --> 01:09:31.280
and some people are not meant
to spend time together.

1090
01:09:31.280 --> 01:09:33.760
Hey! What the hell?

1091
01:09:35.520 --> 01:09:37.400
They're filming you. Us.

1092
01:09:37.400 --> 01:09:38.960
- What?
- You.

1093
01:09:38.960 --> 01:09:40.680
They're controlling you, Sophie.

1094
01:09:40.680 --> 01:09:42.080
What are you talking about?

1095
01:09:42.080 --> 01:09:45.000
He said something
about a contract.

1096
01:09:45.000 --> 01:09:47.080
I saw...

1097
01:09:48.360 --> 01:09:50.840
- I found it.
- Found what?

1098
01:09:54.880 --> 01:09:56.880
This.

1099
01:09:57.760 --> 01:09:58.880
(GASPS)

1100
01:09:58.880 --> 01:10:01.080
You found a towel?

1101
01:10:02.160 --> 01:10:04.160
Just watch this.

1102
01:10:05.840 --> 01:10:08.160
- Knock, knock.
- (DOOR WHOOSHING)

1103
01:10:17.960 --> 01:10:19.760
That's a door.

1104
01:10:19.760 --> 01:10:21.520
Yep.

1105
01:10:21.520 --> 01:10:23.600
Ready?

1106
01:10:28.840 --> 01:10:30.840
Supermarket.

1107
01:10:33.360 --> 01:10:35.200
This is not...

1108
01:10:35.200 --> 01:10:36.720
Something's gone wrong.

1109
01:10:36.720 --> 01:10:39.080
- MAN: (ECHOING) Hello?
- Who's that?

1110
01:10:39.080 --> 01:10:42.480
MAN: Wait there. I'm coming!
Please don't...!

1111
01:10:45.200 --> 01:10:46.560
Who was the voice?

1112
01:10:46.560 --> 01:10:50.200
"Announce your destination
<i>before</i> opening."

1113
01:10:50.200 --> 01:10:53.160
OK. My bad.

1114
01:10:53.160 --> 01:10:55.760
- Knock, knock.
- (DOOR WHOOSHING)

1115
01:10:57.720 --> 01:11:00.440
OK. S-s... um...

1116
01:11:00.440 --> 01:11:02.520
My flat.

1117
01:11:04.400 --> 01:11:06.880
See? Portable door.

1118
01:11:12.600 --> 01:11:14.240
This is your flat?

1119
01:11:14.240 --> 01:11:16.280
Yeah.

1120
01:11:16.280 --> 01:11:18.360
You're actually quite neat.

1121
01:11:19.520 --> 01:11:21.520
What...?

1122
01:11:25.000 --> 01:11:28.240
So it goes
wherever you want to go.

1123
01:11:28.240 --> 01:11:32.600
This has just become
the best job in the world.

1124
01:11:32.600 --> 01:11:34.480
Before you do that,
can we just...?

1125
01:11:34.480 --> 01:11:36.800
- Knock, knock.
- I have to tell you what I saw.

1126
01:11:36.800 --> 01:11:38.880
- Amazing!
- It was an interview with you.

1127
01:11:38.880 --> 01:11:40.800
- There were people watching...
- Come on!

1128
01:11:40.800 --> 01:11:44.040
THURSTON HARRIS:
♪ Little Bitty Pretty One

1129
01:11:44.040 --> 01:11:45.760
SOPHIE: Come up here!

1130
01:11:45.760 --> 01:11:47.840
Whoa!

1131
01:11:49.960 --> 01:11:52.960
(INDISTINCT CHATTER
AND LAUGHTER)

1132
01:11:52.960 --> 01:11:54.200
(LAUGHS)

1133
01:11:54.200 --> 01:11:56.520
We're on top of the world!

1134
01:11:59.320 --> 01:12:00.880
Close your eyes.

1135
01:12:00.880 --> 01:12:03.560
No - your ears.

1136
01:12:03.560 --> 01:12:08.600
♪ Mm, mm-mm, mm, mm, mm-mm... ♪

1137
01:12:08.600 --> 01:12:10.680
(SOPHIE CHUCKLES)

1138
01:12:11.440 --> 01:12:13.360
- Fiji?
- No!

1139
01:12:13.360 --> 01:12:15.160
- Jamaica?
- Warmer.

1140
01:12:15.160 --> 01:12:18.680
♪ Little bitty pretty one
Come on and talk to me

1141
01:12:18.680 --> 01:12:21.440
♪ Lovey dovey, lovey one... ♪

1142
01:12:21.440 --> 01:12:25.080
Whoo!

1143
01:12:25.080 --> 01:12:33.080
♪ Oh, oh, whoa-whoa, whoa-oh

1144
01:12:33.080 --> 01:12:34.600
♪ Oh-oh-oh... ♪

1145
01:12:34.600 --> 01:12:35.600
Really?

1146
01:12:35.600 --> 01:12:37.640
- ♪ Tell you a story... ♪
- (SHRIEKS)

1147
01:12:37.640 --> 01:12:40.000
♪ Happened a long time ago

1148
01:12:40.000 --> 01:12:41.680
♪ Little bitty pretty one... ♪

1149
01:12:41.680 --> 01:12:43.160
I'm busy this week.

1150
01:12:43.160 --> 01:12:46.000
You should be able
to handle these clients, yes?

1151
01:12:46.000 --> 01:12:54.600
♪ Oh, oh, whoa-whoa, whoa-oh

1152
01:12:54.600 --> 01:12:56.480
♪ Oh-oh-oh, whoa, oh, oh

1153
01:12:56.480 --> 01:12:59.000
♪ Little bitty pretty one

1154
01:12:59.000 --> 01:13:01.720
♪ Come on and talk to me

1155
01:13:01.720 --> 01:13:04.240
♪ Lovey dovey, lovey one

1156
01:13:04.240 --> 01:13:08.000
♪ Come sit down on my knee

1157
01:13:08.000 --> 01:13:13.920
♪ Mm, mm-mm, mm, mm, mm-mm... ♪

1158
01:13:14.960 --> 01:13:17.320
Look at that. Amazing.

1159
01:13:17.320 --> 01:13:19.000
It's so cool.

1160
01:13:19.000 --> 01:13:20.480
It is so beautiful here.

1161
01:13:20.480 --> 01:13:22.960
So, what's your favourite place
that we've been to?

1162
01:13:22.960 --> 01:13:25.640
My favourite place
that we've been to...

1163
01:13:25.640 --> 01:13:28.040
That's a really hard question.
I don't know.

1164
01:13:28.040 --> 01:13:30.440
Why do I always
have to answer first?

1165
01:13:30.440 --> 01:13:33.200
(PLAYFUL BANTER AND LAUGHTER)

1166
01:13:35.360 --> 01:13:38.200
(TENDER MUSIC)

1167
01:13:43.880 --> 01:13:45.960
PAUL: Did I mention I was
the South East Junior

1168
01:13:45.960 --> 01:13:47.960
Ballroom champion
three years running?

1169
01:13:47.960 --> 01:13:49.320
SOPHIE:
You failed to actually.

1170
01:13:49.320 --> 01:13:52.080
PAUL: Three years, I'm serious.
SOPHIE: You hid it so well.

1171
01:13:52.080 --> 01:13:53.560
PAUL: I didn't want
to show off.

1172
01:13:53.560 --> 01:13:56.280
SOPHIE: Don't be like that,
you're actually really good.

1173
01:14:20.560 --> 01:14:22.600
(WOMAN EXCLAIM IN ASTONISHMENT)

1174
01:14:22.600 --> 01:14:24.760
(WOMEN EXCLAIM)

1175
01:14:24.760 --> 01:14:27.160
I don't believe it!

1176
01:14:27.160 --> 01:14:30.280
(BOTH LAUGH)

1177
01:14:30.280 --> 01:14:33.560
(JOYOUS MUSIC)

1178
01:14:51.880 --> 01:14:53.880
ROSIE: Ooh!

1179
01:14:59.400 --> 01:15:02.560
(WONDROUS MUSIC SWELLS)

1180
01:15:13.160 --> 01:15:15.160
(PAUL EXCLAIMS)

1181
01:15:18.440 --> 01:15:21.680
PAUL: What if I told you
I can read minds now, too?

1182
01:15:21.680 --> 01:15:23.720
SOPHIE: (SCEPTICALLY) Really?

1183
01:15:23.720 --> 01:15:25.560
What am I thinking?

1184
01:15:25.560 --> 01:15:27.880
"Gosh, Paul is handsome
and interesting."

1185
01:15:27.880 --> 01:15:29.960
(SOPHIE CHUCKLES)

1186
01:15:35.280 --> 01:15:37.280
Maybe we should stay here.

1187
01:15:38.640 --> 01:15:42.760
Eh? Just eat fresh seafood
every day.

1188
01:15:42.760 --> 01:15:45.640
Yeah... Except I hate fish.

1189
01:15:45.640 --> 01:15:49.040
But you don't know yourself,
do you? Maybe you love it.

1190
01:15:54.200 --> 01:15:56.760
Or we could just take
the portable door for lunch,

1191
01:15:56.760 --> 01:15:58.840
somewhere different every day.

1192
01:16:01.400 --> 01:16:03.760
And we could build
a little house.

1193
01:16:04.840 --> 01:16:06.840
Over there.

1194
01:16:13.720 --> 01:16:16.240
I like you.

1195
01:16:16.240 --> 01:16:18.080
I really do, quite a lot,

1196
01:16:18.080 --> 01:16:22.000
which is weird
because you're such a...

1197
01:16:29.000 --> 01:16:33.400
But ever since I signed that
stupid fast-track contract...

1198
01:16:33.400 --> 01:16:35.200
...I feel like
they're in control

1199
01:16:35.200 --> 01:16:38.160
of that whole part of me.

1200
01:16:38.160 --> 01:16:41.080
My instinct and...

1201
01:16:43.240 --> 01:16:45.240
...my heart.

1202
01:16:48.520 --> 01:16:51.240
I don't trust my own feelings.

1203
01:16:53.960 --> 01:16:57.520
I guess I don't know if what
I'm feeling for you is real.

1204
01:17:01.200 --> 01:17:04.280
Well, then we have to find
this thing that you signed.

1205
01:17:05.240 --> 01:17:06.520
Why?

1206
01:17:06.520 --> 01:17:08.400
We could reverse it somehow.

1207
01:17:08.400 --> 01:17:11.240
So then you'd know
who you really are

1208
01:17:11.240 --> 01:17:15.800
and how you really feel
about pies and jazz.

1209
01:17:15.800 --> 01:17:17.880
And especially...

1210
01:17:19.240 --> 01:17:20.840
...liquorice.

1211
01:17:20.840 --> 01:17:23.040
But how do we reverse it?

1212
01:17:23.040 --> 01:17:26.480
Well, I dunno.
But we have to try.

1213
01:17:29.560 --> 01:17:31.720
- Knock, knock.
- (DOOR WHOOSHING)

1214
01:17:33.720 --> 01:17:35.440
(DOOR OPENS)

1215
01:17:35.440 --> 01:17:37.440
We should check
Humphrey's office first.

1216
01:17:37.440 --> 01:17:39.520
After work.

1217
01:17:44.240 --> 01:17:45.400
Interns!

1218
01:17:45.400 --> 01:17:48.240
There's a rumour going around
and I hope it's...

1219
01:17:49.200 --> 01:17:50.600
Why are you dressed like that?

1220
01:17:50.600 --> 01:17:52.240
- We're not.
- Theme party.

1221
01:17:52.240 --> 01:17:54.400
- Tonight.
- Last night. Uh... beach theme.

1222
01:17:54.400 --> 01:17:56.640
It was a good party.
So much fun.

1223
01:18:00.000 --> 01:18:03.440
(TENSE MUSIC)

1224
01:18:03.440 --> 01:18:07.280
Do you have any idea
what thin ice you are on?

1225
01:18:09.320 --> 01:18:13.440
I'm going to say this once,
and then you're on your own.

1226
01:18:13.440 --> 01:18:17.320
Fold it up, put it outside
Mr Wells's door,

1227
01:18:17.320 --> 01:18:21.440
walk away
and never, never come back.

1228
01:18:22.680 --> 01:18:25.000
And if you're lucky...

1229
01:18:25.000 --> 01:18:27.840
...he'll be too busy
to bother killing you.

1230
01:18:33.120 --> 01:18:35.560
He knows.
But he didn't do anything.

1231
01:18:35.560 --> 01:18:37.640
He's right. Is he right?
We should leave.

1232
01:18:37.640 --> 01:18:39.120
We have to find your contract.

1233
01:18:39.120 --> 01:18:41.000
- And what? Rip it up?
- I dunno.

1234
01:18:41.000 --> 01:18:42.840
But we have to do something.

1235
01:18:42.840 --> 01:18:44.440
We'll come back tonight.

1236
01:18:44.440 --> 01:18:46.520
OK.

1237
01:18:49.840 --> 01:18:53.720
(BELLS CHIMING)

1238
01:18:55.080 --> 01:18:57.160
- Good evening.
- Goodnight.

1239
01:19:11.720 --> 01:19:14.840
(OMINOUS MUSIC)

1240
01:19:20.280 --> 01:19:25.760
(RHYTHMIC STOMPING)

1241
01:19:34.360 --> 01:19:36.360
(DOOR WHOOSHING)

1242
01:19:36.880 --> 01:19:39.120
(DOOR CREAKING OPEN)

1243
01:19:41.160 --> 01:19:43.160
(DOOR CLOSES)

1244
01:19:44.800 --> 01:19:47.040
SOPHIE: Didn't you say
'Humphrey's office'?

1245
01:19:47.040 --> 01:19:48.280
PAUL: I did.

1246
01:19:48.280 --> 01:19:51.160
SOPHIE: This is not
Humphrey's office.

1247
01:19:51.160 --> 01:19:53.280
Those are a lot of printers.

1248
01:19:53.280 --> 01:19:55.440
Door wanted us to come here.

1249
01:19:55.440 --> 01:19:59.680
So, what,
it has a personality now?

1250
01:19:59.680 --> 01:20:02.960
- (GASPS) Oh, shit!
- (GASPS) What is it?

1251
01:20:02.960 --> 01:20:05.440
It's gone.

1252
01:20:05.440 --> 01:20:08.080
Just... be careful.

1253
01:20:09.240 --> 01:20:11.720
(PRINTER WHIRRS)

1254
01:20:11.720 --> 01:20:14.240
(PRINTER WHIRRING)
PAUL: The last time I was here,

1255
01:20:14.240 --> 01:20:16.760
these printers
were all printing,

1256
01:20:16.760 --> 01:20:18.840
but I don't know what.

1257
01:20:20.320 --> 01:20:22.280
They're terms and conditions.

1258
01:20:22.280 --> 01:20:25.480
Those things you click 'agree'
but never read.

1259
01:20:25.480 --> 01:20:27.280
(PRINTER CONTINUES WHIRRING)

1260
01:20:27.280 --> 01:20:29.760
"Operation Fine Print."

1261
01:20:29.760 --> 01:20:31.400
Humphrey's mentioned that.

1262
01:20:31.400 --> 01:20:33.000
(DISTANT SCREAMING)

1263
01:20:33.000 --> 01:20:35.400
Was that a bad scream
or a good scream?

1264
01:20:36.440 --> 01:20:38.440
I'm hoping good?

1265
01:20:41.760 --> 01:20:43.760
I mean, they're all different.

1266
01:20:44.640 --> 01:20:47.120
This one's a gym membership.

1267
01:20:48.280 --> 01:20:49.920
This is a train ticket.

1268
01:20:49.920 --> 01:20:54.400
A rental agreement. But why
is JW Wells collecting them?

1269
01:20:54.400 --> 01:20:56.560
(EERIE MUSIC)

1270
01:20:56.560 --> 01:20:59.000
Maybe this is what I signed.

1271
01:21:08.040 --> 01:21:11.680
(LOW GROWLING)

1272
01:21:29.320 --> 01:21:31.200
SOPHIE: We have to
get to Humphrey's...

1273
01:21:31.200 --> 01:21:33.600
- (GUTTURAL SNARL)
- What was that?!

1274
01:21:33.600 --> 01:21:36.120
(DISTANT PATTERING)

1275
01:21:37.760 --> 01:21:39.760
I actually don't know.

1276
01:21:44.560 --> 01:21:46.080
(WHISPERS) Sophie!

1277
01:21:46.080 --> 01:21:48.880
(DISTANT SNARLING)

1278
01:21:48.880 --> 01:21:52.000
(FAINT CLANGING,
VOICES MUTTERING)

1279
01:21:52.000 --> 01:21:54.360
I'm happy to not find out
what that is

1280
01:21:54.360 --> 01:21:56.640
and just, you know,
stick to the plan.

1281
01:21:56.640 --> 01:21:58.600
(FAINT GRUNTING AND CLAMOURING)

1282
01:21:58.600 --> 01:22:00.240
We should at least look.

1283
01:22:00.240 --> 01:22:01.920
Should we, though?

1284
01:22:01.920 --> 01:22:04.600
One, two...

1285
01:22:04.600 --> 01:22:06.880
...three!

1286
01:22:06.880 --> 01:22:09.920
(CLATTERING AND COMMOTION)

1287
01:22:09.920 --> 01:22:12.640
(FAINT HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER)

1288
01:22:12.640 --> 01:22:16.000
(DISTANT VOICES
MUTTERING, HOLLERING)

1289
01:22:30.560 --> 01:22:33.840
(DIALTONE BEEPING)

1290
01:22:35.160 --> 01:22:38.240
(GUTTURAL MURMURING)

1291
01:22:38.240 --> 01:22:40.760
(DISTANT CLUNKING
AND CLATTERING)

1292
01:22:50.080 --> 01:22:53.400
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC BUILDS)

1293
01:22:56.160 --> 01:22:58.160
- Knock, knock.
- (DOOR WHOOSHING)

1294
01:23:02.080 --> 01:23:04.080
Humphrey's office.

1295
01:23:05.080 --> 01:23:07.080
(MENACING MUSIC)

1296
01:23:12.840 --> 01:23:14.840
PAUL: It's not listening to us.

1297
01:23:17.240 --> 01:23:19.400
(FAINT DRIPPING)

1298
01:23:20.640 --> 01:23:22.720
SOPHIE: "Ripae mortuorum."

1299
01:23:26.400 --> 01:23:28.640
"Bank of the Dead."

1300
01:23:29.920 --> 01:23:31.880
"One way."

1301
01:23:31.880 --> 01:23:33.600
That was in my dream.

1302
01:23:33.600 --> 01:23:35.440
He said something about that.

1303
01:23:35.440 --> 01:23:37.200
I think I saw that.

1304
01:23:37.200 --> 01:23:39.280
In the fine print.

1305
01:23:46.320 --> 01:23:48.600
Here. "Bank of the Dead."

1306
01:23:48.600 --> 01:23:49.840
"By clicking 'agree',

1307
01:23:49.840 --> 01:23:52.120
"I consent to signing
my soul, my entire soul,

1308
01:23:52.120 --> 01:23:54.680
"and therefore all desires,
instincts and needs,

1309
01:23:54.680 --> 01:23:56.200
"over to JW Wells and Company

1310
01:23:56.200 --> 01:23:58.760
"to be held in the Bank
of the Dead for perpetuity.

1311
01:23:58.760 --> 01:24:01.880
"Forever and a day. In
all territories and universes."

1312
01:24:01.880 --> 01:24:04.480
Operation Fine Print.

1313
01:24:04.480 --> 01:24:07.800
- Humphrey and Dennis.
- They're stealing souls.

1314
01:24:07.800 --> 01:24:11.360
They stole my soul.

1315
01:24:11.360 --> 01:24:13.680
And now Humphrey's
gonna control the instincts

1316
01:24:13.680 --> 01:24:16.000
of anyone who signs this
or clicks 'agree'.

1317
01:24:16.000 --> 01:24:18.200
I mean, that could be
millions of people.

1318
01:24:18.200 --> 01:24:20.280
(GUTTURAL SNARLING)

1319
01:24:21.240 --> 01:24:23.360
PAUL: (NERVOUSLY) Sophie?

1320
01:24:24.880 --> 01:24:27.360
Maybe we should...
walk over here.

1321
01:24:27.360 --> 01:24:28.760
Yeah?

1322
01:24:28.760 --> 01:24:31.400
Just walk.

1323
01:24:31.400 --> 01:24:33.760
Don't make any sudden moves.

1324
01:24:33.760 --> 01:24:35.600
(UNEARTHLY GROWLING)

1325
01:24:35.600 --> 01:24:37.680
Nothing to panic about.

1326
01:24:37.680 --> 01:24:39.800
Just over here.

1327
01:24:41.640 --> 01:24:44.680
Slowly. Slowly.

1328
01:24:46.000 --> 01:24:48.000
Go.

1329
01:24:49.840 --> 01:24:51.840
(GATE CLANGS SHUT)

1330
01:24:52.680 --> 01:24:54.880
This has to be the way out.

1331
01:24:54.880 --> 01:24:56.840
(STARTLED SCREECHING)

1332
01:24:56.840 --> 01:24:59.440
(GRUNTING)
SOPHIE: Paul?

1333
01:24:59.440 --> 01:25:02.080
(SOPHIE SCREAMS)

1334
01:25:02.080 --> 01:25:04.840
(SNARLING AND GROWLING)

1335
01:25:04.840 --> 01:25:06.720
(SCREECHING)

1336
01:25:06.720 --> 01:25:09.400
PAUL: Sophie, go! Through here!

1337
01:25:09.400 --> 01:25:12.120
(SNARLING)
PAUL: Go, go, go, go, go!

1338
01:25:14.080 --> 01:25:16.240
(SNARLING AND CLANGING
CONTINUES FAINTLY)

1339
01:25:16.240 --> 01:25:18.160
PAUL: You OK?
SOPHIE: Yeah.

1340
01:25:18.160 --> 01:25:21.360
Yeah. Are you OK?

1341
01:25:21.360 --> 01:25:23.440
Yeah.

1342
01:25:27.800 --> 01:25:31.320
DENNIS: Did I give you
permission to be down here?

1343
01:25:31.320 --> 01:25:34.360
Let me think. No, I did not.

1344
01:25:34.360 --> 01:25:36.800
Mr Tanner,
the whole place is crawling

1345
01:25:36.800 --> 01:25:39.240
with the most disgusting,
hideous things.

1346
01:25:39.240 --> 01:25:41.880
Now, that is truly offensive.

1347
01:25:41.880 --> 01:25:43.920
These things are the reason...

1348
01:25:43.920 --> 01:25:47.400
(FURIOUSLY) ..you are forbidden
to be down here after hours!

1349
01:25:47.400 --> 01:25:50.640
It's not as if
you weren't warned!

1350
01:25:50.640 --> 01:25:52.200
You're a Goblin?

1351
01:25:52.200 --> 01:25:55.160
DENNIS: Ha!
How kind of you to notice.

1352
01:25:55.160 --> 01:25:56.480
(SCOFFS)

1353
01:25:56.480 --> 01:25:58.920
You humans are so stupid.

1354
01:25:58.920 --> 01:26:01.560
I've looked out for you
your whole life, Carpenter.

1355
01:26:01.560 --> 01:26:03.040
If it wasn't for the Goblins,

1356
01:26:03.040 --> 01:26:05.680
you'd still be picking fleas
off each other's back

1357
01:26:05.680 --> 01:26:09.400
and clubbing your food to death
with a jawbone.

1358
01:26:10.800 --> 01:26:14.720
And yet you ignored
my simple advice.

1359
01:26:14.720 --> 01:26:16.240
Now...

1360
01:26:16.240 --> 01:26:18.440
...hand it over.

1361
01:26:18.440 --> 01:26:20.800
HUMPHREY: Dennis! Enough!

1362
01:26:21.840 --> 01:26:23.800
Mr Wells!

1363
01:26:23.800 --> 01:26:26.240
I expected so much more
from you, Paul.

1364
01:26:26.240 --> 01:26:29.640
It's after hours, Mr Wells.
I have it under control.

1365
01:26:29.640 --> 01:26:33.720
Oh, what would you have done?
Drooled them into submission?

1366
01:26:33.720 --> 01:26:34.840
You greasy,

1367
01:26:34.840 --> 01:26:37.080
- thug-nosed parasite.
- Give me the bag.

1368
01:26:37.080 --> 01:26:39.040
- Call off your toads.
- How dare you!

1369
01:26:39.040 --> 01:26:41.080
- Call them off!
- I'm not afraid of you.

1370
01:26:41.080 --> 01:26:43.560
This is my domain down here!

1371
01:26:43.560 --> 01:26:45.640
(GOBLINS GUFFAWING)

1372
01:26:45.640 --> 01:26:47.480
Careful, Dennis.

1373
01:26:47.480 --> 01:26:50.960
You ought to think
very carefully.

1374
01:26:50.960 --> 01:26:52.560
A gutter-living Goblin

1375
01:26:52.560 --> 01:26:54.920
challenging a Great Wizard?

1376
01:26:54.920 --> 01:26:58.040
Now, Mr Great Wizard,

1377
01:26:58.040 --> 01:26:59.920
you'd be nothing without us.

1378
01:26:59.920 --> 01:27:03.480
Who would line up
your clients? Hm?

1379
01:27:03.480 --> 01:27:06.320
Who would do
your grunt work? Eh?

1380
01:27:06.320 --> 01:27:07.880
And what would you do?

1381
01:27:07.880 --> 01:27:09.920
No jobs, nowhere to live.

1382
01:27:09.920 --> 01:27:13.520
No unlimited supply
of delicious pigeons.

1383
01:27:13.520 --> 01:27:16.000
(DENNIS SHOUTS)

1384
01:27:16.000 --> 01:27:18.920
- (GOBLINS GASPING, GROANING)
- Turn them back.

1385
01:27:18.920 --> 01:27:20.680
- Turn them back!
- Knock, knock.

1386
01:27:20.680 --> 01:27:22.240
- The door.
- Say somewhere.

1387
01:27:22.240 --> 01:27:24.320
Say nothing!

1388
01:27:29.520 --> 01:27:32.880
Who closes the door,
keeps the door.

1389
01:27:34.080 --> 01:27:37.680
(BOTH GRUNT AND GROAN)

1390
01:27:47.040 --> 01:27:49.640
I tried to say somewhere
but Humphrey stopped me.

1391
01:28:08.760 --> 01:28:11.280
- MAN: (DISTANTLY) Who are you?
- (GASPS)

1392
01:28:13.240 --> 01:28:15.840
- MAN: Do you have it?
- We have to get out of here!

1393
01:28:15.840 --> 01:28:17.920
MAN: Stay where you are.

1394
01:28:19.000 --> 01:28:20.760
PAUL: Whoa...
SOPHIE: Careful, Paul!

1395
01:28:20.760 --> 01:28:22.240
MAN: You can't get anywhere!

1396
01:28:22.240 --> 01:28:24.240
Unless you have it,
you can't leave!

1397
01:28:24.240 --> 01:28:26.640
- What's going on, Paul?
- (BOTH GASP)

1398
01:28:26.640 --> 01:28:28.880
- Who are you?
- You don't have it, do you?

1399
01:28:28.880 --> 01:28:30.760
The portable door.

1400
01:28:30.760 --> 01:28:32.920
- We did, but...
- Oh!

1401
01:28:35.240 --> 01:28:37.040
Wait! How do we get out of...?

1402
01:28:37.040 --> 01:28:39.160
PAUL: Wait!
SOPHIE: We have to get out!

1403
01:28:39.160 --> 01:28:41.160
Who closes the door,
keeps the door.

1404
01:28:41.160 --> 01:28:44.880
PAUL: What does that mean -
"who closes the door"?

1405
01:28:44.880 --> 01:28:47.920
Humphrey closed the door.
So he keeps it?

1406
01:28:47.920 --> 01:28:50.800
We're surrounded by doors, so
one of these must be a way out.

1407
01:28:50.800 --> 01:28:52.200
(SNEEZES)

1408
01:28:52.200 --> 01:28:53.520
Bless you.

1409
01:28:53.520 --> 01:28:55.000
You're in the Nether.

1410
01:28:55.000 --> 01:28:57.480
There are no doors
out of the Nether.

1411
01:28:58.800 --> 01:29:01.200
You're John Wells.

1412
01:29:03.280 --> 01:29:05.320
You've got Humphrey's soul.

1413
01:29:06.200 --> 01:29:07.600
How did you know that?

1414
01:29:07.600 --> 01:29:10.600
You made him sign his soul over
to you. That's the contract.

1415
01:29:10.600 --> 01:29:12.800
He was an evil child. Awful.

1416
01:29:12.800 --> 01:29:14.680
I needed insurance.

1417
01:29:14.680 --> 01:29:17.920
So you can control him, then?
You can make him let us out.

1418
01:29:17.920 --> 01:29:20.920
You don't think I would've
thought of that years ago?

1419
01:29:20.920 --> 01:29:23.160
I have the contract,
but it's pointless

1420
01:29:23.160 --> 01:29:25.240
if I can't get it to the Bank.

1421
01:29:26.360 --> 01:29:28.360
The Bank of the Dead...

1422
01:29:29.760 --> 01:29:32.040
Now, wait a minute.

1423
01:29:32.040 --> 01:29:34.760
You have a contract
for Humphrey Wells' soul?

1424
01:29:34.760 --> 01:29:37.080
And if we get it to the Bank,
he's yours?

1425
01:29:37.080 --> 01:29:38.440
Uh-huh.

1426
01:29:38.440 --> 01:29:41.560
You have indeed found the root
to the problem.

1427
01:29:41.560 --> 01:29:43.640
So we're here forever?

1428
01:29:44.800 --> 01:29:46.800
Yep.

1429
01:29:47.240 --> 01:29:49.240
I can find a way out.

1430
01:29:50.640 --> 01:29:52.240
It's what I do.

1431
01:29:52.240 --> 01:29:55.000
There are no doors
out of the Nether. Only in.

1432
01:30:02.920 --> 01:30:05.600
(DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS)

1433
01:30:08.960 --> 01:30:12.400
I don't like this any more than
you do, but it has to be done.

1434
01:30:12.400 --> 01:30:14.720
Must, must, you dogs!

1435
01:30:14.720 --> 01:30:16.320
Haul your case,

1436
01:30:16.320 --> 01:30:19.280
you horrid little corgi!

1437
01:30:24.520 --> 01:30:26.520
(PUFFS)

1438
01:30:27.400 --> 01:30:29.400
So Humphrey used
the portable door

1439
01:30:29.400 --> 01:30:31.200
to get my soul
to the Bank of the Dead.

1440
01:30:31.200 --> 01:30:33.040
- (DOOR CLOSING)
- And to trap me.

1441
01:30:33.040 --> 01:30:35.960
But then it went missing,
so he needed Paul to find it.

1442
01:30:35.960 --> 01:30:37.400
(DOOR OPENING)

1443
01:30:37.400 --> 01:30:39.480
Nope.

1444
01:30:42.200 --> 01:30:43.320
(DOOR OPENING)

1445
01:30:43.320 --> 01:30:45.400
How did he trap you here?

1446
01:30:46.440 --> 01:30:48.440
He tricked me.

1447
01:30:48.440 --> 01:30:52.240
My baby dragon
was used to lure me in.

1448
01:30:52.240 --> 01:30:55.600
A very simple trick, really.
I shouldn't have fallen for it.

1449
01:30:55.600 --> 01:30:57.920
So cruel.

1450
01:30:57.920 --> 01:30:59.880
He left me with my books.

1451
01:30:59.880 --> 01:31:02.560
- Why?
- Something to read.

1452
01:31:02.560 --> 01:31:04.440
I mean, why here?

1453
01:31:04.440 --> 01:31:08.520
It's the only place
to hold a Great Wizard.

1454
01:31:08.520 --> 01:31:10.520
I'll be here forever.

1455
01:31:10.520 --> 01:31:12.120
It's different for you.

1456
01:31:12.120 --> 01:31:13.680
(DOOR CLOSING)

1457
01:31:13.680 --> 01:31:16.000
You'll run out of food
and water in a few days

1458
01:31:16.000 --> 01:31:18.480
and die a messy death.

1459
01:31:18.480 --> 01:31:22.080
And I'll be stuck with a couple
of decomposing corpses

1460
01:31:22.080 --> 01:31:24.160
and no place to put 'em.

1461
01:31:31.760 --> 01:31:32.920
(PAUL SCREAMS)

1462
01:31:32.920 --> 01:31:35.000
(GRUNTS)

1463
01:31:41.480 --> 01:31:43.480
I'm OK!

1464
01:31:50.800 --> 01:31:53.560
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)

1465
01:32:10.040 --> 01:32:11.920
(FAINT ELECTRONIC BUZZING)

1466
01:32:11.920 --> 01:32:15.480
(ELECTRONIC BUZZING
INTENSIFYING)

1467
01:32:19.720 --> 01:32:23.240
(ELECTRONIC BUZZING,
HIGH-PITCHED RINGING)

1468
01:32:30.240 --> 01:32:33.280
Found something!

1469
01:32:33.280 --> 01:32:35.760
This one actually
goes somewhere.

1470
01:32:40.160 --> 01:32:42.160
JOHN: Not possible.

1471
01:32:51.160 --> 01:32:54.200
(MAJESTIC MUSIC)

1472
01:32:54.200 --> 01:32:57.160
(GIGGLES)

1473
01:32:57.160 --> 01:32:59.080
I'm free!

1474
01:32:59.080 --> 01:33:00.240
I'm f...!

1475
01:33:00.240 --> 01:33:03.280
Paul Carpenter, you may
be more than just a Diviner.

1476
01:33:03.280 --> 01:33:05.080
Maybe you're a...

1477
01:33:05.080 --> 01:33:06.800
Yeah, let's go down a bit.

1478
01:33:06.800 --> 01:33:08.960
Maybe I'm a what?

1479
01:33:08.960 --> 01:33:11.080
I really wish
he'd finish his sentence.

1480
01:33:11.080 --> 01:33:13.560
- (DOOR OPENS)
- (GASPS)

1481
01:33:15.120 --> 01:33:17.720
Mr Wells! You're alive!

1482
01:33:17.720 --> 01:33:19.240
Yes, very much, Rosie.

1483
01:33:19.240 --> 01:33:21.280
Unfortunately
you might be too late.

1484
01:33:21.280 --> 01:33:23.240
Right! Now it's up to you two.

1485
01:33:23.240 --> 01:33:24.920
Take this
to the Bank of the Dead.

1486
01:33:24.920 --> 01:33:27.320
That will give me control
of Humphrey.

1487
01:33:27.320 --> 01:33:29.400
Actually, I'll come with you.

1488
01:33:29.400 --> 01:33:30.480
Um...

1489
01:33:30.480 --> 01:33:32.880
Uh, Rosie, get your husband.

1490
01:33:34.800 --> 01:33:37.280
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

1491
01:33:41.920 --> 01:33:43.920
Just follow me.

1492
01:33:45.800 --> 01:33:48.080
DENNIS:
...you disgusting little trolls!

1493
01:33:48.080 --> 01:33:49.400
(SHOUTING AND COMMOTION)

1494
01:33:49.400 --> 01:33:52.160
SOPHIE: Those are the
contracts. All those souls.

1495
01:33:52.160 --> 01:33:54.920
The door must be nearby.

1496
01:33:54.920 --> 01:33:56.720
HUMPHREY: Dennis,
make them move!

1497
01:33:56.720 --> 01:33:59.720
Or do they need more
incentives? I'm very creative.

1498
01:33:59.720 --> 01:34:03.560
DENNIS: Come now, come along.
You heard Mr Wells.

1499
01:34:03.560 --> 01:34:04.720
You heard Mr...

1500
01:34:04.720 --> 01:34:06.560
You! What do you think
you're doing?!

1501
01:34:06.560 --> 01:34:09.040
Tea break is over.
What do you think this is?

1502
01:34:09.040 --> 01:34:10.640
Fortnum and bloody Mason?!

1503
01:34:10.640 --> 01:34:12.960
And you!
Get off your lardy arse!

1504
01:34:12.960 --> 01:34:15.760
Come along now. Everybody!
Come along!

1505
01:34:15.760 --> 01:34:19.120
This is not Paris! (CURSES)

1506
01:34:19.120 --> 01:34:21.400
It's not a garden party!

1507
01:34:21.400 --> 01:34:23.320
JOHN: The Bank is open.

1508
01:34:23.320 --> 01:34:25.400
Your contract will be inside.

1509
01:34:25.400 --> 01:34:26.960
SOPHIE: Where's Humphrey?

1510
01:34:26.960 --> 01:34:28.680
I'll take care of him.

1511
01:34:28.680 --> 01:34:31.720
You just take that contract
into the Bank.

1512
01:34:31.720 --> 01:34:34.080
Once it's deposited, he's mine.

1513
01:34:34.080 --> 01:34:35.920
HUMPHREY: Well, well, well...

1514
01:34:35.920 --> 01:34:38.240
DENNIS: Hurry it up!
Keep moving!

1515
01:34:39.280 --> 01:34:41.400
(EXPLOSION, DEBRIS SCATTERING)

1516
01:34:41.400 --> 01:34:42.560
(DENNIS GROANS)

1517
01:34:42.560 --> 01:34:45.080
(GOBLINS EXCLAIMING)

1518
01:34:47.400 --> 01:34:49.480
DENNIS: It's Mr Wells!

1519
01:34:50.480 --> 01:34:52.520
Hello, Father.

1520
01:34:53.640 --> 01:34:55.800
(SCREAMING, GASPING)

1521
01:34:56.600 --> 01:34:58.520
Go!

1522
01:34:58.520 --> 01:35:01.240
DENNIS: The Bank waits
for no man. Get back to work.

1523
01:35:01.240 --> 01:35:03.240
- (EXPLOSION)
- (GOBLINS SCREAMING)

1524
01:35:03.240 --> 01:35:05.320
(GRUNTS)

1525
01:35:06.960 --> 01:35:09.760
(DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS)

1526
01:35:11.600 --> 01:35:13.280
Keep calm!

1527
01:35:13.280 --> 01:35:15.120
Back to work!

1528
01:35:15.120 --> 01:35:17.440
Get up! Get up there! Get up!

1529
01:35:19.000 --> 01:35:21.400
- (GRUNTS)
- (SCREAMING)

1530
01:35:22.640 --> 01:35:24.840
- Sophie!
- Paul, Paul, the door!

1531
01:35:24.840 --> 01:35:26.400
Get it to the Bank!

1532
01:35:26.400 --> 01:35:29.000
Get him!
SOPHIE: The door! Paul!

1533
01:35:30.200 --> 01:35:32.120
(GOBLINS SNARLING)
PAUL: Get off!

1534
01:35:32.120 --> 01:35:36.040
Get off! It's unseemly!
Get off that man!

1535
01:35:37.520 --> 01:35:39.520
(EXPLOSION)

1536
01:35:47.320 --> 01:35:49.320
(CROCKERY CLATTERING)

1537
01:35:54.440 --> 01:35:56.440
(GLASS SHATTERING)

1538
01:35:58.840 --> 01:36:01.360
Paul!

1539
01:36:01.360 --> 01:36:03.320
SOPHIE: (THINKS)
<i>Countess, we need you.</i>

1540
01:36:03.320 --> 01:36:05.160
<i>Humphrey is stealing
millions of souls</i>

1541
01:36:05.160 --> 01:36:07.280
<i>and now he's going to
kill John Wells!</i>

1542
01:36:07.280 --> 01:36:09.360
- (GROWLING)
- (SCREAMS)

1543
01:36:10.440 --> 01:36:13.400
Eric? Are you alright?

1544
01:36:13.400 --> 01:36:15.400
(YELPS)
PAUL: Sophie!

1545
01:36:15.400 --> 01:36:17.480
Get off!

1546
01:36:21.920 --> 01:36:23.920
(GOBLIN GRUNTS)

1547
01:36:24.760 --> 01:36:26.040
You OK?

1548
01:36:26.040 --> 01:36:28.120
(GRUNTS)

1549
01:36:29.320 --> 01:36:30.320
(SNARLING)

1550
01:36:30.320 --> 01:36:32.360
- Mr Tanner!
- Yes?

1551
01:36:32.360 --> 01:36:33.880
PAUL: Help!

1552
01:36:33.880 --> 01:36:36.640
Don't do it, Dennis!

1553
01:36:36.640 --> 01:36:39.560
No. No, Sir Humphrey, of
course not. No, no, no, no...

1554
01:36:39.560 --> 01:36:42.320
Sorry about this, Paul.
Just obeying orders.

1555
01:36:42.320 --> 01:36:43.720
Comfort slot.

1556
01:36:43.720 --> 01:36:44.920
It's Monty!

1557
01:36:44.920 --> 01:36:48.520
And if I had my way, I'd shtonk
that Humphrey in the uhab.

1558
01:36:48.520 --> 01:36:49.920
PAUL: What?

1559
01:36:49.920 --> 01:36:51.240
Paul!

1560
01:36:51.240 --> 01:36:53.320
Mum!

1561
01:36:54.200 --> 01:36:57.240
ROSIE: Mr Wells! It's Arthur!

1562
01:37:07.080 --> 01:37:10.240
(ARTHUR GROWLS)

1563
01:37:14.560 --> 01:37:16.640
(ROARS IN GOBLIN DIALECT)

1564
01:37:18.240 --> 01:37:20.160
(EXHALES)

1565
01:37:20.160 --> 01:37:21.520
Arthur!

1566
01:37:21.520 --> 01:37:24.560
Rosie! My love!

1567
01:37:28.680 --> 01:37:32.240
Oh... Dad, you're back!

1568
01:37:33.600 --> 01:37:35.600
(ANGRILY) Dennis!

1569
01:37:36.480 --> 01:37:38.480
(HUSHED GASPING)

1570
01:37:41.400 --> 01:37:44.520
Ooh, have we been weakened
by the Nether?

1571
01:37:45.520 --> 01:37:48.200
Paul! Run!

1572
01:37:49.040 --> 01:37:50.680
Look out, Paul!

1573
01:37:50.680 --> 01:37:52.760
(PAUL GRUNTS)

1574
01:37:54.120 --> 01:37:57.640
(DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS)

1575
01:37:57.640 --> 01:38:00.840
Humphrey... Humphrey,
this is completely against

1576
01:38:00.840 --> 01:38:02.280
the Magician's Code of Conduct.

1577
01:38:02.280 --> 01:38:04.960
- Not one step closer.
- (PAUL GROANING)

1578
01:38:04.960 --> 01:38:08.640
Seems my father's not as
powerful as he thought he was.

1579
01:38:08.640 --> 01:38:10.440
What are you going to do,
Humphrey?

1580
01:38:10.440 --> 01:38:11.600
You'll have to kill us all.

1581
01:38:11.600 --> 01:38:13.080
Please, Humphrey,
stop this now.

1582
01:38:13.080 --> 01:38:15.680
All I ever wanted
was to think big.

1583
01:38:16.720 --> 01:38:18.960
You weren't brave enough.

1584
01:38:18.960 --> 01:38:21.840
This company was behind
the moon landing,

1585
01:38:21.840 --> 01:38:24.000
the splitting of the atom!

1586
01:38:24.000 --> 01:38:25.520
For what?

1587
01:38:25.520 --> 01:38:27.480
Are humans
still ruining everything?

1588
01:38:27.480 --> 01:38:28.840
Of course they are.

1589
01:38:28.840 --> 01:38:31.840
Do they realise
what we do for them?

1590
01:38:31.840 --> 01:38:33.920
Of course they don't.

1591
01:38:41.120 --> 01:38:43.920
I will continue my plan alone,

1592
01:38:43.920 --> 01:38:49.000
now that the traitors
have been smoked out.

1593
01:38:49.000 --> 01:38:52.400
Yeah, rebellion's over.
You're all going to the Nether.

1594
01:38:52.400 --> 01:38:54.240
But first...

1595
01:38:54.240 --> 01:38:56.320
You.

1596
01:38:56.960 --> 01:38:58.960
Bring it over.

1597
01:39:00.800 --> 01:39:03.480
- (SOPHIE GROANS)
- No!

1598
01:39:06.080 --> 01:39:08.080
Now, Carpenter.

1599
01:39:10.600 --> 01:39:15.200
I want you to bring
that damn contract over to me.

1600
01:39:17.680 --> 01:39:22.720
I want you to bring my soul
over to me.

1601
01:39:22.720 --> 01:39:28.320
And I will hold it in front
of my father's fading eyes

1602
01:39:28.320 --> 01:39:31.760
and I want to tear it
to shreds.

1603
01:39:31.760 --> 01:39:33.520
(JOHN MURMURING WEAKLY)

1604
01:39:33.520 --> 01:39:36.640
Because the last thing
you will see

1605
01:39:36.640 --> 01:39:39.160
is the end
of your hold over me.

1606
01:39:39.160 --> 01:39:40.600
I...

1607
01:39:40.600 --> 01:39:44.480
What? What?
No. Sorry. Can't understand.

1608
01:39:44.480 --> 01:39:48.000
Did anyone understand what...?
No? (CHUCKLES)

1609
01:39:48.000 --> 01:39:51.160
Carpenter. Let's have it.

1610
01:39:51.160 --> 01:39:53.040
- NIENKE: No, Paul.
- Come on.

1611
01:39:53.040 --> 01:39:56.240
CASIMIR:
Paul, don't do it, please.

1612
01:39:56.240 --> 01:39:58.160
COUNTESS:
You can't give it to him.

1613
01:39:58.160 --> 01:40:01.040
Get moving.
Don't listen to them.

1614
01:40:01.040 --> 01:40:03.120
SOPHIE: <i>Paul...</i>

1615
01:40:03.560 --> 01:40:06.240
<i>Paul.</i>

1616
01:40:06.240 --> 01:40:08.600
<i>If you can hear me,
touch your ear.</i>

1617
01:40:10.240 --> 01:40:13.040
<i>In the Nether,
with all those doors...</i>

1618
01:40:13.040 --> 01:40:14.560
Keep on keeping on!

1619
01:40:14.560 --> 01:40:18.760
<i>...what if you didn't find
the way out?</i>

1620
01:40:18.760 --> 01:40:20.920
<i>What if you created it?</i>

1621
01:40:22.920 --> 01:40:25.560
<i>The Bank is right below you.</i>

1622
01:40:29.160 --> 01:40:31.920
<i>Make your own door, Paul.</i>

1623
01:40:31.920 --> 01:40:35.040
Keep going! Come on!

1624
01:40:38.640 --> 01:40:42.560
(ETHEREAL CHORAL MUSIC)

1625
01:40:42.560 --> 01:40:45.920
(LOW RUMBLING,
MYSTICAL WHOOSHING)

1626
01:40:49.760 --> 01:40:53.000
(ETHEREAL CHORAL MUSIC BUILDS)

1627
01:41:08.040 --> 01:41:10.040
(EXHALES SOFTLY)

1628
01:41:21.200 --> 01:41:23.240
He's... vanished.

1629
01:41:23.240 --> 01:41:25.320
Where did he go?

1630
01:41:26.440 --> 01:41:28.440
(GROANS)

1631
01:41:45.280 --> 01:41:48.440
(MUZAK PLAYING FAINTLY)

1632
01:41:52.480 --> 01:41:55.240
(MUZAK PLAYING)

1633
01:42:02.880 --> 01:42:05.240
WOMAN: Next, please.

1634
01:42:08.840 --> 01:42:11.200
Mr Carpenter.

1635
01:42:11.200 --> 01:42:16.600
You're not due here
for 142 years.

1636
01:42:16.600 --> 01:42:18.360
Um...

1637
01:42:18.360 --> 01:42:20.680
I'd like to make a deposit.

1638
01:42:41.480 --> 01:42:43.480
Actually...

1639
01:42:44.400 --> 01:42:46.720
...I'd like to make a trade.

1640
01:42:49.680 --> 01:42:51.680
(STAMP CLICKS)

1641
01:42:51.680 --> 01:42:55.360
(SOPHIE GASPS)
NIENKE: Mr Wells, he's done it.

1642
01:42:55.360 --> 01:42:57.080
You've got his soul.

1643
01:42:57.080 --> 01:42:59.160
Quickly.

1644
01:43:00.000 --> 01:43:01.600
- The door.
- The door!

1645
01:43:01.600 --> 01:43:03.720
NIENKE: Sophie, quickly,
get the door.

1646
01:43:05.680 --> 01:43:08.000
- SOPHIE: Knock, knock.
- (DOOR WHOOSHING)

1647
01:43:09.960 --> 01:43:13.800
(GOBLINS MUTTERING
AND GRUMBLING)

1648
01:43:29.600 --> 01:43:31.600
No.

1649
01:43:33.160 --> 01:43:34.600
No.

1650
01:43:34.600 --> 01:43:36.360
(WHIMPERING) Please...

1651
01:43:36.360 --> 01:43:39.520
(HUMPHREY SOBS SOFTLY)

1652
01:43:41.280 --> 01:43:43.400
(SOBBING) Please... please...

1653
01:43:43.400 --> 01:43:46.200
(SOBS)

1654
01:43:55.680 --> 01:43:57.360
Dad, please...

1655
01:43:57.360 --> 01:43:59.200
Please...

1656
01:43:59.200 --> 01:44:00.800
(HUMPHREY SOBBING)

1657
01:44:00.800 --> 01:44:03.040
- John.
- You must.

1658
01:44:05.120 --> 01:44:07.120
Go.

1659
01:44:10.240 --> 01:44:12.280
(SOBBING)

1660
01:44:18.840 --> 01:44:22.040
JOHN: Sophie,
will you get the door, please?

1661
01:44:26.160 --> 01:44:29.120
(CHEERING AND LAUGHTER)

1662
01:44:35.800 --> 01:44:37.680
(LIVELY CHATTER)

1663
01:44:37.680 --> 01:44:39.720
(STIRRING MUSIC)

1664
01:44:39.720 --> 01:44:41.440
SOPHIE: What are you doing?

1665
01:44:41.440 --> 01:44:44.480
This door will never
be opened again.

1666
01:44:44.480 --> 01:44:46.640
But what about Paul?

1667
01:44:48.120 --> 01:44:50.120
How do we get him back?

1668
01:44:52.440 --> 01:44:53.880
Sophie...

1669
01:44:53.880 --> 01:44:55.960
(SOFT WHOOSHING)

1670
01:45:06.160 --> 01:45:09.120
(ALL CHEER)

1671
01:45:15.280 --> 01:45:17.280
Oh, um...

1672
01:45:17.280 --> 01:45:20.520
...I think this belongs to you?

1673
01:45:31.440 --> 01:45:33.880
(CHEERING AND LAUGHTER)

1674
01:45:36.320 --> 01:45:38.600
Dad! Mum! No!

1675
01:45:40.600 --> 01:45:42.600
We did it, Paul.

1676
01:45:44.760 --> 01:45:46.760
Not quite.

1677
01:45:51.920 --> 01:45:53.920
Forgot one.

1678
01:46:08.600 --> 01:46:10.600
Take a seat.

1679
01:46:12.080 --> 01:46:14.080
Dennis!

1680
01:46:15.920 --> 01:46:19.000
ARTHUR: Don't worry about
my turncoat, backstabbing son.

1681
01:46:19.000 --> 01:46:21.440
He won't bother you again,
will you, Den...?

1682
01:46:21.440 --> 01:46:23.520
(SNEEZES)

1683
01:46:24.480 --> 01:46:27.080
Sorry about that. (SNIFFLES)

1684
01:46:27.080 --> 01:46:29.920
Humphrey had to choose stapler,
didn't he?

1685
01:46:29.920 --> 01:46:34.800
Now, first order of business -
what to do with you two.

1686
01:46:35.880 --> 01:46:37.560
Paul,

1687
01:46:37.560 --> 01:46:40.560
with your... skillset,

1688
01:46:40.560 --> 01:46:44.720
we think you're most suited
to a junior position

1689
01:46:44.720 --> 01:46:46.360
in Lost and Found.

1690
01:46:46.360 --> 01:46:47.560
Oh, great.

1691
01:46:47.560 --> 01:46:49.880
PAUL: (THINKS)
<i>You've got to be kidding me.</i>

1692
01:46:49.880 --> 01:46:53.840
The past few years have been
a blight on our great firm.

1693
01:46:53.840 --> 01:46:55.840
<i>Are you listening
to my thoughts?</i>

1694
01:46:55.840 --> 01:46:58.360
JOHN: ..capturing of souls
is strictly against...

1695
01:46:58.360 --> 01:47:00.240
PAUL: (THINKS) <i>Sophie?</i>
NIENKE: It is indeed.

1696
01:47:00.240 --> 01:47:02.920
<i>You have a tiny weird bug
on your forehead.</i>

1697
01:47:05.640 --> 01:47:07.640
Sorry.

1698
01:47:09.000 --> 01:47:11.760
All souls have been returned...

1699
01:47:11.760 --> 01:47:15.040
PAUL: <i>So now you can
hear my thoughts?</i>

1700
01:47:16.080 --> 01:47:17.480
<i>I can't block you out?</i>

1701
01:47:17.480 --> 01:47:19.880
JOHN: ..ever.
COUNTESS: Absolutely.

1702
01:47:19.880 --> 01:47:21.760
- JOHN: Good...
<i>- OK, then.</i>

1703
01:47:21.760 --> 01:47:26.000
<i>Can I ask, now that you have
full control of your instincts,</i>

1704
01:47:26.000 --> 01:47:27.400
<i>your heart,</i>

1705
01:47:27.400 --> 01:47:31.120
<i>do you still feel that way
for me?</i>

1706
01:47:31.120 --> 01:47:33.000
JOHN: And, Sophie,

1707
01:47:33.000 --> 01:47:37.440
with your impressive abilities
and your natural talents,

1708
01:47:37.440 --> 01:47:41.040
you'll be fast-tracked
to the position of VP

1709
01:47:41.040 --> 01:47:44.240
in the Department
of Coincidensation.

1710
01:47:47.160 --> 01:47:50.600
Do you like the sound of that,
Sophie?

1711
01:47:50.600 --> 01:47:53.440
PAUL:
<i>So, do you... feel the same?</i>

1712
01:47:53.440 --> 01:47:55.000
JOHN: Sophie, do you?

1713
01:47:55.000 --> 01:47:57.760
Yes. I do.

1714
01:47:59.480 --> 01:48:01.480
Excellent.

1715
01:48:02.280 --> 01:48:04.880
(STIRRING MUSIC SWELLS)

1716
01:48:32.560 --> 01:48:36.680
(CLEANER HUMMING)

1717
01:48:49.920 --> 01:48:52.240
Housekeeping. Knock, knock.

1718
01:48:53.560 --> 01:48:56.760
(FRANTIC OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYS)

1719
01:50:22.280 --> 01:50:25.520
(WHIMSICAL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1720
01:51:20.360 --> 01:51:23.440
(FRENETIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

1721
01:54:04.640 --> 01:54:08.120
THURSTON HARRIS:
♪ Little Bitty Pretty One

1722
01:54:08.120 --> 01:54:16.440
♪ Mm, mm-mm, mm, mm, mm-mm

1723
01:54:16.440 --> 01:54:19.360
♪ Mm-mm-mm, mm-mm, mm, mm

1724
01:54:19.360 --> 01:54:27.640
♪ Mm, mm-mm, mm, mm, mm-mm

1725
01:54:27.640 --> 01:54:30.360
♪ Mm-mm-mm, mm-mm, mm, mm

1726
01:54:30.360 --> 01:54:36.600
♪ Mm, mm-mm, mm, mm, mm-mm... ♪

1727
01:54:36.600 --> 01:54:40.160
(TELEPHONE RINGING)

1728
01:54:40.160 --> 01:54:43.080
- (RINGING CONTINUES)
- ♪ Little bitty pretty one

1729
01:54:43.080 --> 01:54:46.040
♪ Come on and talk to me... ♪

1730
01:54:46.040 --> 01:54:48.680
- (RINGING CONTINUES)
- ♪ Lovey dovey, lovey one

1731
01:54:48.680 --> 01:54:52.120
♪ Come sit down on my knee

1732
01:54:52.120 --> 01:54:54.440
♪ Oh, oh, whoa-whoa, whoa-oh

1733
01:54:54.440 --> 01:54:57.440
♪ Oh, oh,
whoa-whoa, whoa-oh... ♪

1734
01:54:57.440 --> 01:55:00.280
(RINGING CONTINUES)

1735
01:55:03.360 --> 01:55:06.000
Uh, Lost and Found?
Paul speaking.





