WEBVTT FILE
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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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♪ It's gonna take a lotta love ♪
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00:00:43.750 --> 00:00:45.750
♪ To get us through the night-- ♪
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00:10:11.416 --> 00:10:16.208
♪ She's got long brown hair
Tied up in a little red bonnet ♪
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00:10:16.833 --> 00:10:22.250
♪ She's got a pretty white blouse
And a basket with fresh fruit upon it ♪
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00:10:22.250 --> 00:10:25.541
♪ She's got a glow in her cheeks
And a fire inside ♪
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00:10:25.541 --> 00:10:27.958
♪ Sitting in a beautiful countryside ♪
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00:10:27.958 --> 00:10:31.791
♪ Oh, masturbating
To the lady on the box of raisins ♪
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00:12:38.750 --> 00:12:41.250
♪ She's the happiest she's been in years ♪
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00:12:41.250 --> 00:12:43.416
♪ He puts on a big smile on her face ♪
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00:13:51.125 --> 00:13:53.958
♪ She's the happiest she's been in years ♪
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00:13:53.958 --> 00:13:56.791
♪ He puts a big smile on her face ♪
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00:13:57.291 --> 00:14:01.708
♪ He's got a good job
And me and my parents love the dude ♪
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00:14:02.291 --> 00:14:05.166
♪ You can tell
That he's gonna be faithful ♪
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00:14:05.166 --> 00:14:07.916
♪ The whole family is happy as hell ♪
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00:14:07.916 --> 00:14:12.541
♪ My sister's got an ugly new boyfriend ♪
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00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:14.375
♪ Every day I'm mutterin' ♪
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00:16:16.375 --> 00:16:18.083
♪ Mutterin' under my breath ♪
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00:16:25.875 --> 00:16:28.125
♪ If you ask me to do a task ♪
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00:16:30.500 --> 00:16:32.583
♪ I do it every time ♪
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00:16:34.541 --> 00:16:37.125
♪ But the whole time that I'm doing it ♪
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00:16:39.750 --> 00:16:42.291
♪ I'll be mutterin' under my breath ♪
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00:16:59.375 --> 00:17:01.333
♪ Things I'd never say to your face ♪
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00:17:03.500 --> 00:17:05.250
♪ But the second that you're gone ♪
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00:17:07.583 --> 00:17:10.000
♪ I mutter like a crazy asshole ♪
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00:17:12.625 --> 00:17:14.958
♪ While I angrily mow the lawn ♪
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00:17:31.916 --> 00:17:32.875
♪ Raking leaves ♪
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00:17:32.875 --> 00:17:33.833
♪ I'm mutterin' ♪
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00:17:33.833 --> 00:17:35.250
♪ Shovel snow ♪
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00:17:37.583 --> 00:17:38.833
♪ I'm mutterin' ♪
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00:17:39.958 --> 00:17:40.958
♪ Go to the bank! ♪
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00:17:40.958 --> 00:17:42.458
♪ You know I'm mutterin' ♪
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00:17:43.833 --> 00:17:45.250
♪ Take out the trash! ♪
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00:17:46.208 --> 00:17:47.333
♪ There's mutterin' ♪
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00:17:48.208 --> 00:17:50.750
♪ When there's toys
At the bottom of the pool ♪
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00:17:50.750 --> 00:17:52.750
♪ Left there by my daughter ♪
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00:17:52.750 --> 00:17:54.791
♪ As I swim down to get them ♪
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00:17:54.791 --> 00:17:57.583
♪ I'll be mutterin' underwater ♪
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00:18:15.416 --> 00:18:17.208
♪ Everyday, I'm mutterin' ♪
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00:18:19.791 --> 00:18:21.458
♪ Mutterin' under my breath ♪
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00:18:24.291 --> 00:18:27.875
♪ Then one day my wife
Overhears what I'm saying ♪
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♪ And immediately slits ♪
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♪ My throat ♪
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00:23:10.500 --> 00:23:12.666
♪ Driving back from Disneyland ♪
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00:23:12.666 --> 00:23:14.916
♪ Going over all the fun ♪
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00:23:15.583 --> 00:23:17.791
♪ What was best? Space Mountain? ♪
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00:23:17.791 --> 00:23:21.000
♪ Or getting wet
On the Grizzly River Run, yeah! ♪
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00:23:21.000 --> 00:23:23.458
♪ Greatest time of our kids' life ♪
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00:23:23.458 --> 00:23:26.166
♪ What a magical moment
For me and my wife ♪
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00:23:26.166 --> 00:23:29.541
♪ Then I miss our exit
And I scream, "Fucking cunt!" ♪
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00:23:34.333 --> 00:23:38.250
♪ And it's like
Disneyland never happened! ♪
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00:25:47.458 --> 00:25:49.708
♪ Sleep in late ♪
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♪ Eat a big breakfast ♪
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00:25:51.833 --> 00:25:53.875
♪ Walk the dog ♪
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00:25:53.875 --> 00:25:56.041
♪ Watch the news ♪
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♪ Go to the bathroom ♪
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♪ Start my laundry ♪
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00:26:00.041 --> 00:26:01.750
♪ Go on the Internet ♪
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00:26:01.750 --> 00:26:03.833
♪ Buy some new shoes ♪
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00:26:04.416 --> 00:26:08.458
♪ Leave the apartment
For lunch with my landlord ♪
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00:26:08.458 --> 00:26:09.750
♪ Come back home ♪
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00:26:09.750 --> 00:26:12.541
♪ Take the dog for a walk again ♪
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♪ Turn on my TV ♪
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♪ Watch Jerry Maguire ♪
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♪ I've seen it before ♪
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♪ But I'll watch it again ♪
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♪ Pretty good day ♪
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♪ Pretty good life ♪
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♪ I am clinically depressed ♪
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00:33:25.166 --> 00:33:27.458
♪ Old guy with a kid ♪
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♪ Started too late
Now he's paying for it ♪
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00:33:32.250 --> 00:33:34.333
♪ Old guy with a kid ♪
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00:33:34.333 --> 00:33:37.541
♪ At the soccer practice
Facing the wrong way ♪
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00:33:39.458 --> 00:33:41.458
♪ Old guy with a kid ♪
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00:33:41.458 --> 00:33:44.666
♪ Also has a middle-age son
He never sees ♪
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00:33:46.500 --> 00:33:48.583
♪ Old guy with a kid ♪
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00:33:48.583 --> 00:33:50.833
♪ Just fell asleep at the Chuck-E-Cheese ♪
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00:34:09.291 --> 00:34:11.333
♪ Grandma in yoga pants ♪
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♪ Not exercising
Just looking fucking crazy ♪
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♪ Grandma in yoga pants ♪
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00:34:20.666 --> 00:34:23.750
♪ From behind she looks
Like an ice cream cone ♪
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♪ Grandma in yoga pants ♪
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00:34:27.541 --> 00:34:30.791
♪ That's not a camel toe
It's a walrus poon ♪
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00:34:35.125 --> 00:34:36.958
♪ Grandma in yoga pants ♪
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00:34:36.958 --> 00:34:39.541
♪ When she takes them off
Her belly button coughs ♪
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00:34:59.291 --> 00:35:01.416
♪ Bulldog in a Halloween costume ♪
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00:35:03.791 --> 00:35:06.958
♪ He's a bumblebee
And he don't look happy ♪
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00:35:08.666 --> 00:35:10.583
♪ Bulldog in a Halloween costume ♪
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00:35:10.583 --> 00:35:13.583
♪ He's just a dog
But he understands dignity ♪
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00:35:15.875 --> 00:35:17.833
♪ Bulldog in a Halloween costume ♪
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00:35:17.833 --> 00:35:20.833
♪ His grandpa was a wolf
Now he's wearing antennas ♪
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00:35:23.125 --> 00:35:25.125
♪ Bulldog in a Halloween costume ♪
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00:35:25.125 --> 00:35:27.708
♪ When you get home
You're gonna get bit ♪
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00:35:47.375 --> 00:35:49.625
♪ Guy with a backpack at the movies ♪
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00:35:51.708 --> 00:35:54.750
♪ Now I can't focus
On what Spider-Man's doing ♪
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00:35:56.541 --> 00:35:58.583
♪ Guy with a backpack at the movies ♪
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00:35:58.583 --> 00:36:01.375
♪ Every time he moves I shit myself ♪
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00:36:03.458 --> 00:36:05.333
♪ Guy with a backpack at the movies ♪
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00:36:05.333 --> 00:36:08.791
♪ Sitting right between me
And the fucking exit ♪
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00:36:10.625 --> 00:36:12.916
♪ Guy with a backpack at the movies ♪
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00:36:12.916 --> 00:36:15.416
♪ Pulls shit out
Thank God, it's Twizzlers ♪
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00:36:46.166 --> 00:36:48.000
♪ Fat cop on a horse ♪
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00:36:50.916 --> 00:36:53.750
♪ Both breathing heavy
Are they gonna make it? ♪
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00:36:55.708 --> 00:36:57.708
♪ Fat cop on a horse ♪
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00:36:57.708 --> 00:37:00.625
♪ Praying nothing happens
At this fucking parade ♪
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00:37:02.833 --> 00:37:04.958
♪ Fat cop on a horse ♪
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00:37:04.958 --> 00:37:08.041
♪ What did he do
That they took away his squad car? ♪
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00:37:12.166 --> 00:37:13.791
♪ Fat cop on a horse ♪
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00:37:14.291 --> 00:37:16.333
♪ A trail of manure
But it's coming from the cop ♪
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00:41:52.375 --> 00:41:54.541
♪ Getting a divorce ♪
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00:41:54.541 --> 00:41:56.583
♪ It seems so fun from the outside ♪
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00:41:57.166 --> 00:41:59.333
♪ Now you can do
Whatever you want ♪
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00:41:59.333 --> 00:42:01.750
♪ And nobody will stop you ♪
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00:42:01.750 --> 00:42:03.833
♪ Maybe you'll travel the world ♪
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00:42:04.416 --> 00:42:06.291
♪ Maybe you'll go to the movies ♪
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00:42:06.291 --> 00:42:08.916
♪ Maybe you'll learn a new language ♪
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00:42:08.916 --> 00:42:11.125
♪ Or meet some pretty ladies ♪
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00:42:11.125 --> 00:42:14.958
♪ Or maybe you'll just
Move in with your sister ♪
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00:42:14.958 --> 00:42:17.166
♪ And ruin her marriage too ♪
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00:43:22.833 --> 00:43:27.250
♪ Guy with a drone ♪
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00:43:27.250 --> 00:43:31.000
♪ Making everybody
On the beach today ♪
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00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:33.166
♪ Uncomfortable ♪
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00:43:35.791 --> 00:43:39.750
♪ Guy with a drone ♪
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00:43:39.750 --> 00:43:45.083
♪ Remote control
In front of his swimsuit boner ♪
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00:43:47.916 --> 00:43:51.541
♪ He says there's
A pod of whales out there ♪
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00:43:51.541 --> 00:43:54.000
♪ On the ocean today ♪
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00:43:55.916 --> 00:44:01.125
♪ It might be the rarest sight
He's ever seen ♪
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00:44:02.208 --> 00:44:04.416
♪ But if that's true ♪
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00:44:04.416 --> 00:44:07.541
♪ Why is his drone just hovering ♪
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00:44:07.541 --> 00:44:09.125
♪ Over my wife? ♪
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00:44:11.791 --> 00:44:14.958
♪ He seems like an odd little fellow ♪
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00:44:16.250 --> 00:44:19.083
♪ I think it's time to beat him ♪
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00:44:19.083 --> 00:44:21.583
♪ With my beach umbrella ♪
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00:44:50.250 --> 00:44:53.208
♪ Mommy
Why's the door locked? ♪
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00:44:54.541 --> 00:44:57.708
♪ Daddy
Why don't you answer? ♪
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00:44:57.708 --> 00:45:02.000
♪ I hear Mommy screaming
While Daddy says ♪
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00:45:02.000 --> 00:45:04.791
♪ Yes, oh yes ♪
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00:45:04.791 --> 00:45:08.416
♪ So I go and get the key ♪
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00:45:08.416 --> 00:45:12.416
♪ And I creep in carefully ♪
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♪ And much to my surprise ♪
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00:45:16.250 --> 00:45:19.000
♪ Right in front of my eyes ♪
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00:45:19.000 --> 00:45:22.750
♪ I see Daddy hitting Mommy ♪
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00:45:22.750 --> 00:45:24.833
♪ With his penis ♪
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00:45:27.041 --> 00:45:29.875
♪ Mommy, why are the sheets wet? ♪
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00:45:32.166 --> 00:45:34.958
♪ Daddy, what's with the bedhead ♪
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00:45:34.958 --> 00:45:38.541
♪ I hear Daddy say to Mommy ♪
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00:45:38.541 --> 00:45:42.166
♪ Honey, I didn't finish yet ♪
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00:45:42.166 --> 00:45:45.625
♪ Mom says we'll find another way ♪
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00:45:45.625 --> 00:45:49.791
♪ 'Cause her little boy can't stay ♪
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♪ So I cuddle up real nice ♪
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00:45:53.583 --> 00:45:56.458
♪ Right between Mommy's thighs ♪
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00:45:56.458 --> 00:46:00.041
♪ And then Daddy pokes my eye out ♪
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00:46:00.041 --> 00:46:02.125
♪ With his penis ♪
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00:46:24.375 --> 00:46:26.750
♪ These days she doesn't need my help ♪
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00:46:27.291 --> 00:46:28.625
♪ Getting into bed ♪
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00:46:29.125 --> 00:46:31.375
♪ She doesn't need me to tuck her in ♪
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00:46:31.875 --> 00:46:33.666
♪ Or kiss her on the head ♪
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00:46:33.666 --> 00:46:36.250
♪ And she don't need me to pick her up ♪
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00:46:36.250 --> 00:46:38.375
♪ At her best friend's front door ♪
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00:46:38.375 --> 00:46:41.166
♪ She got her driver's license yesterday ♪
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00:46:42.833 --> 00:46:45.583
♪ She don't need me anymore ♪
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♪ Oh no ♪
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♪ Oh no ♪
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♪ Oh no ♪
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00:46:53.833 --> 00:46:56.500
♪ Doesn't need me to practice soccer ♪
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00:46:56.500 --> 00:46:59.000
♪ Says she doesn't like sports ♪
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00:46:59.000 --> 00:47:01.625
♪ She don't need me to teach her algebra ♪
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00:47:01.625 --> 00:47:03.500
♪ Or help on book reports ♪
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00:47:03.500 --> 00:47:06.333
♪ And she don't need me
To take her swimming ♪
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00:47:06.333 --> 00:47:08.958
♪ It's like she'd wish I'd disappear ♪
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00:47:08.958 --> 00:47:10.833
♪ But she still needs me ♪
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00:47:11.708 --> 00:47:13.666
♪ To buy her friends beer ♪
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00:47:13.666 --> 00:47:14.958
♪ Buy her friends beer ♪
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00:47:14.958 --> 00:47:18.208
♪ When she needs a case of Natty Ice
She'll come running to me ♪
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00:47:18.708 --> 00:47:19.875
♪ Buy her friends beer ♪
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00:47:19.875 --> 00:47:23.416
♪ Forty cans of tallboys
Yeah, I'm still in the party ♪
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00:47:23.416 --> 00:47:24.708
♪ Buy her friends beer ♪
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00:47:24.708 --> 00:47:26.750
♪ No store would ever sell it to them ♪
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00:47:26.750 --> 00:47:30.833
♪ 'Cause they all look like they're ten ♪
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00:47:34.750 --> 00:47:38.125
♪ And when my baby girl gets a DUI ♪
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00:47:39.250 --> 00:47:44.250
♪ She'll be back
In Daddy's car seat again ♪
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00:47:47.500 --> 00:47:49.583
♪ Getting a divorce ♪
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00:47:49.583 --> 00:47:52.250
♪ Because I bought beer for my daughter ♪
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00:54:06.416 --> 00:54:09.375
♪ Scary shit's coming ♪
186
00:54:13.083 --> 00:54:16.458
♪ My mother just flew out to visit ♪
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00:54:18.500 --> 00:54:22.125
♪ And I asked her
How long she's staying for ♪
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00:54:23.791 --> 00:54:27.541
♪ And she says
"I didn't book a return flight" ♪
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00:54:36.833 --> 00:54:39.916
♪ More scary shit's coming ♪
190
00:54:43.041 --> 00:54:47.291
♪ I'm driving down the road
At three o'clock in the afternoon ♪
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00:54:48.875 --> 00:54:52.625
♪ And I can't see shit
'Cause the sun is directly in my eyes ♪
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00:54:54.041 --> 00:54:56.166
♪ But I just do what everybody else does ♪
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00:54:56.166 --> 00:54:59.291
♪ I keep driving and pray
I don't fucking hit anyone ♪
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00:55:01.166 --> 00:55:03.208
♪ Did I hear a thud? ♪
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00:55:04.416 --> 00:55:07.541
♪ Did I see a blonde wig
Fly over the car? ♪
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00:55:08.541 --> 00:55:12.000
♪ Along with six pieces of sushi ♪
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00:55:14.625 --> 00:55:18.500
♪ And then I realized
I just killed David Spade ♪
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♪ More... ♪
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00:55:27.666 --> 00:55:30.416
♪ More scary shit's coming ♪
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00:55:40.958 --> 00:55:43.625
♪ I'm watching porno ♪
201
00:55:46.625 --> 00:55:48.250
♪ On my iPhone ♪
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00:55:49.750 --> 00:55:52.125
♪ And no sound is coming out ♪
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00:55:55.250 --> 00:55:58.666
♪ Then I realize
I'm connected to Bluetooth ♪
204
00:56:02.500 --> 00:56:04.375
♪ In my wife's car ♪
205
00:56:07.291 --> 00:56:10.541
♪ And she's taking the kids
To soccer practice ♪
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00:56:26.916 --> 00:56:29.416
♪ More scary shit's coming ♪
207
00:56:30.416 --> 00:56:34.916
♪ It's Halloween night
And I can't find my weed gummies ♪
208
00:56:36.750 --> 00:56:40.916
♪ Then I realize my mother is
Handing them out to all the children ♪
209
00:56:54.833 --> 00:56:56.541
♪ More fucking scary shit ♪
210
00:56:56.541 --> 00:56:58.666
♪ And I can't believe it either ♪
211
00:56:59.166 --> 00:57:01.083
♪ A little louder ♪
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00:57:02.750 --> 00:57:04.583
♪ Not that loud, that scared me ♪
213
00:57:06.000 --> 00:57:09.625
♪ I just tried
To send my wife a dick pic ♪
214
00:57:11.041 --> 00:57:14.666
♪ But I accidentally sent it
To Al Pacino ♪
215
00:57:16.666 --> 00:57:19.000
♪ And he sent me two back ♪
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00:57:37.333 --> 00:57:39.000
♪ Last fucking scary thing ♪
217
00:57:47.416 --> 00:57:50.333
♪ I just found my wife's vibrator ♪
218
00:57:52.500 --> 00:57:54.666
♪ On the bed in the guest room ♪
219
00:57:57.208 --> 00:57:59.125
♪ Where my mother is staying ♪
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00:58:04.833 --> 00:58:07.041
♪ And it was still warm ♪
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00:59:22.041 --> 00:59:25.416
♪ It's now or never ♪
222
00:59:26.083 --> 00:59:29.625
♪ Come hold me tight ♪
223
00:59:29.625 --> 00:59:33.000
♪ Kiss me, my darling ♪
224
00:59:33.583 --> 00:59:37.541
♪ Be mine tonight ♪
225
00:59:37.541 --> 00:59:40.458
♪ Tomorrow ♪
226
00:59:40.458 --> 00:59:43.750
♪ Will be too late ♪
227
00:59:44.541 --> 00:59:47.625
♪ It's now or never ♪
228
00:59:48.250 --> 00:59:50.750
♪ My love won't wait ♪
229
00:59:51.916 --> 00:59:54.833
♪ When I first saw you ♪
230
00:59:55.583 --> 00:59:58.750
♪ With your smile so tender ♪
231
00:59:59.333 --> 01:00:02.083
♪ My heart was captured ♪
232
01:00:02.875 --> 01:00:06.125
♪ My soul surrendered ♪
233
01:00:06.125 --> 01:00:08.958
♪ I spent a lifetime ♪
234
01:00:10.083 --> 01:00:12.875
♪ Waiting for the right time ♪
235
01:00:14.125 --> 01:00:16.458
♪ Now that you're near ♪
236
01:00:16.458 --> 01:00:20.541
♪ The time is here, at last ♪
237
01:00:21.083 --> 01:00:24.791
♪ It's now or never ♪
238
01:00:24.791 --> 01:00:28.416
♪ Come hold me tight ♪
239
01:00:28.416 --> 01:00:31.708
♪ Kiss me, my darling ♪
240
01:00:32.333 --> 01:00:34.541
♪ Be mine tonight ♪
241
01:00:37.041 --> 01:00:39.041
♪ Tomorrow ♪
242
01:00:39.541 --> 01:00:42.375
♪ Will be too late ♪
243
01:00:43.166 --> 01:00:46.041
♪ It's now or never ♪
244
01:00:46.833 --> 01:00:48.916
♪ My love won't wait ♪
245
01:00:50.500 --> 01:00:52.875
♪ Just like a willow ♪
246
01:00:53.875 --> 01:00:57.250
♪ We would cry an ocean ♪
247
01:00:57.250 --> 01:01:00.291
♪ If we lost true love ♪
248
01:01:01.666 --> 01:01:04.125
♪ And sweet devotion ♪
249
01:01:04.833 --> 01:01:07.416
♪ Your lips excite me ♪
250
01:01:08.208 --> 01:01:10.750
♪ Let your arms invite me ♪
251
01:01:11.916 --> 01:01:14.375
♪ For who knows when ♪
252
01:01:14.375 --> 01:01:16.458
♪ We'll meet again ♪
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01:01:16.458 --> 01:01:18.541
♪ This way ♪
254
01:01:19.125 --> 01:01:22.625
♪ It's now or never ♪
255
01:01:23.500 --> 01:01:26.208
♪ Come hold me tight ♪
256
01:01:26.875 --> 01:01:30.500
♪ Kiss me, my darling ♪
257
01:01:30.500 --> 01:01:35.000
♪ Be mine tonight ♪
258
01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:37.875
♪ Tomorrow ♪
259
01:01:37.875 --> 01:01:40.583
♪ Will be too late ♪
260
01:01:41.416 --> 01:01:44.458
♪ It's now or never ♪
261
01:01:45.041 --> 01:01:47.958
♪ My love won't wait ♪
262
01:01:48.625 --> 01:01:52.375
♪ It's now or never ♪
263
01:01:52.375 --> 01:01:54.916
♪ My love won't wait ♪
264
01:01:55.916 --> 01:01:59.250
♪ It's now or never ♪
265
01:01:59.250 --> 01:02:02.750
♪ My love won't wait ♪
266
01:03:48.708 --> 01:03:51.458
♪ You down boy ♪
267
01:03:52.541 --> 01:03:55.125
♪ No one around boy ♪
268
01:03:56.625 --> 01:04:00.083
♪ Head in your hands
And pain, so much pain ♪
269
01:04:00.833 --> 01:04:04.583
♪ How can you ever be yourself again? ♪
270
01:04:05.083 --> 01:04:08.166
♪ Where do you go now? ♪
271
01:04:09.166 --> 01:04:12.208
♪ To get back your soul now? ♪
272
01:04:13.916 --> 01:04:16.250
♪ Do you stare at the ceiling ♪
273
01:04:16.250 --> 01:04:18.541
♪ And tune yourself out? ♪
274
01:04:18.541 --> 01:04:20.625
♪ Or crawl in the bottle ♪
275
01:04:20.625 --> 01:04:22.666
♪ And never crawl out? ♪
276
01:04:22.666 --> 01:04:24.875
♪ You're just searching and searching ♪
277
01:04:24.875 --> 01:04:26.958
♪ For the big takeaway ♪
278
01:04:26.958 --> 01:04:29.333
♪ How the hell did this happen? ♪
279
01:04:29.333 --> 01:04:31.041
♪ You look up and pray ♪
280
01:04:31.041 --> 01:04:33.375
♪ For the smile, girl ♪
281
01:04:35.333 --> 01:04:37.916
♪ It's been a while, girl ♪
282
01:04:39.333 --> 01:04:41.166
♪ You need a fix ♪
283
01:04:41.166 --> 01:04:43.416
♪ And you need it fast ♪
284
01:04:43.416 --> 01:04:47.583
♪ How can you put
All this shit in the past? ♪
285
01:04:48.125 --> 01:04:52.250
♪ Yeah, who's gonna be the hero? ♪
286
01:04:52.958 --> 01:04:55.916
♪ To get you through the night ♪
287
01:04:57.291 --> 01:05:01.208
♪ Who's gonna wrap their arms around you ♪
288
01:05:01.208 --> 01:05:04.125
♪ And make everything alright? ♪
289
01:05:04.708 --> 01:05:06.500
♪ You know, it's comedy ♪
290
01:05:08.666 --> 01:05:11.500
♪ Here comes the comedy ♪
291
01:05:13.583 --> 01:05:15.666
♪ Got you smilin' and gigglin' ♪
292
01:05:15.666 --> 01:05:17.791
♪ Like you were a kid ♪
293
01:05:17.791 --> 01:05:20.583
♪ Didn't think it could get ya ♪
294
01:05:20.583 --> 01:05:22.250
♪ But it just fuckin' did ♪
295
01:05:22.250 --> 01:05:24.250
♪ You're laughin' so hard ♪
296
01:05:24.250 --> 01:05:26.666
♪ As you feel the pain pass ♪
297
01:05:26.666 --> 01:05:29.166
♪ All because Ace Ventura ♪
298
01:05:29.166 --> 01:05:31.166
♪ Just talked with his ass, yeah ♪
299
01:05:31.166 --> 01:05:32.500
♪ The comedy ♪
300
01:05:34.916 --> 01:05:37.916
♪ There's so much stress, kid ♪
301
01:05:39.458 --> 01:05:42.291
♪ You're such a mess, kid ♪
302
01:05:43.791 --> 01:05:46.250
♪ If you're first boyfriend dumps you ♪
303
01:05:46.250 --> 01:05:48.125
♪ Through a text on the phone ♪
304
01:05:48.125 --> 01:05:50.583
♪ Or a note's on the dresser ♪
305
01:05:50.583 --> 01:05:52.500
♪ She ain't coming home ♪
306
01:05:52.500 --> 01:05:54.583
♪ When you're down with a case ♪
307
01:05:54.583 --> 01:05:57.166
♪ Of the gettin'-bullied blues ♪
308
01:05:57.166 --> 01:06:01.166
♪ Or holding their hand
Through the doctor's bad news ♪
309
01:06:01.166 --> 01:06:04.958
♪ You can do the pints of ice cream ♪
310
01:06:06.000 --> 01:06:08.916
♪ Cry and cry in bed ♪
311
01:06:09.541 --> 01:06:11.958
♪ Or run away ♪
312
01:06:11.958 --> 01:06:13.791
♪ Or scream all day ♪
313
01:06:14.291 --> 01:06:17.083
♪ Or try this one instead ♪
314
01:06:17.750 --> 01:06:19.541
♪ Try on the comedy ♪
315
01:06:21.708 --> 01:06:24.250
♪ We all need the comedy ♪
316
01:06:26.541 --> 01:06:28.583
♪ You look close to the edge ♪
317
01:06:28.583 --> 01:06:30.500
♪ And you gave it a chance ♪
318
01:06:30.500 --> 01:06:33.166
♪ Now you're doing spit takes ♪
319
01:06:33.166 --> 01:06:35.041
♪ And you're pissing your pants ♪
320
01:06:35.041 --> 01:06:38.958
♪ Yeah, the pain and the heartbreak
Got knocked off its feet ♪
321
01:06:38.958 --> 01:06:41.541
♪ All because all these bridesmaids ♪
322
01:06:41.541 --> 01:06:43.291
♪ Just shit in the street ♪
323
01:06:43.291 --> 01:06:45.125
♪ Yeah, the comedy ♪
324
01:06:47.041 --> 01:06:49.500
♪ Nothing beats the comedy ♪
325
01:06:51.666 --> 01:06:55.291
♪ Yeah, actors can play dramatic ♪
326
01:06:56.041 --> 01:06:59.458
♪ Singers can kill a song ♪
327
01:06:59.958 --> 01:07:04.291
♪ But comedians say, "Fuck you, sadness" ♪
328
01:07:04.291 --> 01:07:08.625
♪ Let's laugh it off
And move the fuck on ♪
329
01:07:10.541 --> 01:07:14.083
♪ So, thank you, Abbott and Costello ♪
330
01:07:14.666 --> 01:07:17.916
♪ And Leno on Letterman ♪
331
01:07:19.250 --> 01:07:22.708
♪ Thank you, Ruth Buzzi's pocketbook ♪
332
01:07:22.708 --> 01:07:25.958
♪ And every scream from Kinison ♪
333
01:07:27.083 --> 01:07:31.125 line:5%
♪ Thank you, Lucy
For baking your bread ♪
334
01:07:31.125 --> 01:07:34.541 line:5%
♪ And Spinal Tap for going to 11 ♪
335
01:07:36.000 --> 01:07:39.208 line:5%
♪ Thank you, Three Stooges
And Jerry Lewis ♪
336
01:07:39.208 --> 01:07:42.666
♪ You've made me happy since I was seven ♪
337
01:07:43.416 --> 01:07:48.041
♪ Thank you
Marx Brothers and Gleason on the bus ♪
338
01:07:48.041 --> 01:07:51.916
♪ Thanks to Benny Hill
For smacking the old bald guy for us ♪
339
01:07:52.416 --> 01:07:55.916
♪ Thank you, Carol Burnett
George Carlin, and SCTV too ♪
340
01:07:55.916 --> 01:07:58.333
♪ Eddie Murphy
My whole fucking neighborhood ♪
341
01:07:58.333 --> 01:08:00.041
♪ Wanted to be you ♪
342
01:08:00.541 --> 01:08:04.083
♪ Thank you, Sanford and Son
Joan Rivers, and the 2000 Year Old Man ♪
343
01:08:04.083 --> 01:08:06.375
♪ Lily Tomlin, David Brenner ♪
344
01:08:06.375 --> 01:08:09.041
♪ Flip Wilson and Roseanne ♪
345
01:08:09.041 --> 01:08:12.708
♪ Thanks to Billy, Robin, and Whoopi
For showing comedy cares ♪
346
01:08:12.708 --> 01:08:16.666
♪ Thanks to Peter Sellers
For falling down the stairs ♪
347
01:08:16.666 --> 01:08:20.833
♪ Rickles and Goldie, Stephen Wright
And Madeline Kahn ♪
348
01:08:20.833 --> 01:08:22.333
♪ Aykroyd and Belushi ♪
349
01:08:22.333 --> 01:08:25.250
♪ The Jerky Boys
Cheech and fucking Chong ♪
350
01:08:25.250 --> 01:08:28.666
♪ Airplane, Stir Crazy, The Jerk
And Easy-fucking-Money ♪
351
01:08:29.250 --> 01:08:31.250
♪ Animal House and Caddyshack ♪
352
01:08:31.250 --> 01:08:32.916
♪ The kings of the funny ♪
353
01:08:32.916 --> 01:08:37.375
♪ Pee-wee, Borat, Powers, Mean Girls
The Wayans and Farrelly brothers ♪
354
01:08:37.375 --> 01:08:41.291
♪ Superbad, Elf, Hangover
And those Jackass motherfuckers ♪
355
01:08:41.291 --> 01:08:43.583
♪ Thank you, Chris Rock ♪
356
01:08:45.625 --> 01:08:49.041
♪ Seinfeld and Colin Quinn ♪
357
01:08:50.333 --> 01:08:53.666
♪ Herlihy, Jack, Coraci, and Apatow ♪
358
01:08:53.666 --> 01:08:56.791
♪ Barrymore and Aniston ♪
359
01:08:58.000 --> 01:09:01.041
♪ Love you, Buscemi and Stiller ♪
360
01:09:02.250 --> 01:09:04.916 line:5%
♪ Love you Triumph and Conie ♪
361
01:09:06.416 --> 01:09:09.208
♪ Spade, KJ, Meadows and Schneider ♪
362
01:09:10.458 --> 01:09:13.625
♪ Will always be my homies ♪
363
01:09:14.625 --> 01:09:16.791
♪ Thank you, Downey ♪
364
01:09:18.791 --> 01:09:20.958
♪ Thank you, Lorne ♪
365
01:09:22.916 --> 01:09:25.875
♪ Thank you, Farley ♪
366
01:09:27.458 --> 01:09:30.666
♪ Thank you, Norm ♪
367
01:09:36.416 --> 01:09:40.541
♪ They say jokes can stay funny forever ♪
368
01:09:40.541 --> 01:09:43.958
♪ A good joke can stay funny forever ♪
369
01:09:45.041 --> 01:09:48.916
♪ Movies get older
But the kids still get 'em ♪
370
01:09:49.416 --> 01:09:52.666
♪ All the great laughs
Yeah, we'll never forget 'em ♪
371
01:09:52.666 --> 01:09:54.458
♪ That's why I say ♪
372
01:09:54.458 --> 01:09:56.333
♪ Thank you ♪
373
01:09:57.708 --> 01:10:01.791
♪ Thank you ♪
374
01:10:02.583 --> 01:10:07.000
♪ Good night ♪
375
01:12:01.250 --> 01:12:05.166
♪ So if you look in my direction ♪
376
01:12:05.791 --> 01:12:09.416
♪ And we don't see eye-to-eye ♪
377
01:12:10.541 --> 01:12:13.416
♪ My heart needs protection ♪
378
01:12:13.416 --> 01:12:18.500
♪ And so do I ♪
379
01:12:26.208 --> 01:12:30.250
♪ It's gonna take a lotta love ♪
380
01:12:30.250 --> 01:12:33.291
♪ To get us through the night ♪
381
01:12:34.583 --> 01:12:38.708
♪ It's gonna take a lotta love ♪
382
01:12:38.708 --> 01:12:42.416
♪ To make this work out right ♪
383
01:12:43.791 --> 01:12:47.875
♪ So if you are out there waiting ♪
384
01:12:48.375 --> 01:12:51.791
♪ I hope you show up soon ♪
385
01:12:52.583 --> 01:12:55.375
♪ You know I need relating ♪
386
01:12:55.375 --> 01:13:00.833
♪ Not solitude ♪
387
01:13:18.583 --> 01:13:21.666
♪ Got a lotta love ♪
388
01:13:22.750 --> 01:13:29.708
♪ Got a lotta love ♪
389
01:13:46.166 --> 01:13:49.041
♪ It's gonna take a lotta love ♪
390
01:13:50.250 --> 01:13:53.416
♪ To change the way things are ♪
391
01:13:54.416 --> 01:13:57.583
♪ It's gonna take a lotta love ♪
392
01:13:58.625 --> 01:14:02.166
♪ Or we won't get too far ♪
393
01:14:02.875 --> 01:14:07.916
♪ It's gonna take a lotta love ♪