1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:11,566 ♪ We Wish You A Merry Christmas ♪ 4 00:00:14,926 --> 00:00:17,366 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas 5 00:00:17,566 --> 00:00:19,886 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas 6 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,565 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas 7 00:00:22,566 --> 00:00:25,085 ♪ And a Happy New Year 8 00:00:25,086 --> 00:00:27,645 ♪ Good tidings we bring 9 00:00:27,646 --> 00:00:30,205 ♪ To you and your kin 10 00:00:30,206 --> 00:00:32,645 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas 11 00:00:32,646 --> 00:00:35,126 ♪ And a Happy New Year 12 00:00:40,286 --> 00:00:42,446 ♪ Now bring us a figgy pudding 13 00:00:42,646 --> 00:00:45,165 ♪ Now bring us a figgy pudding 14 00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:46,566 ♪ Now bring us- ♪ 15 00:00:47,286 --> 00:00:48,685 (GROANS) 16 00:00:48,686 --> 00:00:50,565 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 17 00:00:50,566 --> 00:00:53,885 They're still up. His lights. He's just forgotten they're there. 18 00:00:53,886 --> 00:00:56,645 Oh, and just remembers - to turn them on every night? - Timer. 19 00:00:56,646 --> 00:01:00,086 Ah! No. That's what I thought, but different times every night. 20 00:01:01,126 --> 00:01:04,565 This evening, 6:59. Before that 6:57. Before that 6:42. 21 00:01:04,566 --> 00:01:07,445 Before that 6.53, 6:42, 6:53, 6:47, 6:59- 22 00:01:07,446 --> 00:01:09,605 I like them. I'm telling you... 23 00:01:09,606 --> 00:01:12,006 he's got it in for me, Laura. 24 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,805 First it was the whole the thing, - wasn't it, about the car. - Neil... 25 00:01:15,806 --> 00:01:17,565 For the last time, the car thing... 26 00:01:17,566 --> 00:01:20,165 could've been anyone. The entire street would like to see 27 00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:22,085 the back of that heap. Eight years it sat there, 28 00:01:22,086 --> 00:01:25,085 not a dicky bird, but the second that he moved in... 29 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:27,445 Why would he, of all people, 30 00:01:27,446 --> 00:01:29,965 complain to the council about an "eyesore"? 31 00:01:29,966 --> 00:01:32,646 Because no one would suspect him. 32 00:01:33,446 --> 00:01:36,365 WOMAN: (OVER VIDEO CALL) - Chicken soup. - Argh. 33 00:01:36,366 --> 00:01:39,206 Err, custard. Ey. 34 00:01:41,206 --> 00:01:43,045 Beans with sausage. Oh, perfect. 35 00:01:43,046 --> 00:01:44,885 Just what I'm after. Thanks, Hol. 36 00:01:44,886 --> 00:01:47,525 Dad... You are looking after yourself? Yeah? 37 00:01:47,526 --> 00:01:50,125 "Looking after myself"? There's sausage in these beans. 38 00:01:50,126 --> 00:01:53,085 I'm living like a king! Hm... OK. 39 00:01:53,086 --> 00:01:54,525 (RHYTHMIC KNOCK AT DOOR) 40 00:01:54,526 --> 00:01:56,205 I'd know that knock anywhere. 41 00:01:56,206 --> 00:01:58,405 It's him. Dad. No, wait just promise me- 42 00:01:58,406 --> 00:02:00,485 I'll be on my best behaviour. Anyway, got to go. 43 00:02:00,486 --> 00:02:02,285 Love you Holly. See you later. Dad, wait! 44 00:02:02,286 --> 00:02:04,206 - Bye-bye. - Bye. - Mwah. - Bye. 45 00:02:07,566 --> 00:02:09,805 Hello? Hello Scott. 46 00:02:09,806 --> 00:02:11,966 Um... It's me. Me? 47 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,125 Neil. "Neil"? 48 00:02:15,126 --> 00:02:17,805 Across the road. Oh yeah, Neil. Got ya. 49 00:02:17,806 --> 00:02:19,405 What can I do for you? 50 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,045 It's about the lights. 51 00:02:21,046 --> 00:02:23,726 Lights? The Christmas lights. On your roof. 52 00:02:24,566 --> 00:02:27,725 Oh, they still up are they? You may remember from... 53 00:02:27,726 --> 00:02:30,325 our conversation on January 2nd, and my follow up text 54 00:02:30,326 --> 00:02:33,205 of February 5th, and the 12th, that they shine brightly 55 00:02:33,206 --> 00:02:36,685 into my top window, so I'd really appreciate it, if you don't mind- 56 00:02:36,686 --> 00:02:38,325 Yep, say no more Neil. 57 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:40,885 I will have them taken down first thing in the morning. 58 00:02:40,886 --> 00:02:42,525 You have my word. 59 00:02:42,526 --> 00:02:45,125 ♪ ..Good tidings we bring 60 00:02:45,126 --> 00:02:47,565 ♪ To you and your kin 61 00:02:47,566 --> 00:02:51,285 (DISTORTED, SLOWS) ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas... ♪ 62 00:02:51,286 --> 00:02:52,325 Git! 63 00:02:52,326 --> 00:02:53,966 (JOLLY MUSIC) 64 00:03:01,566 --> 00:03:04,046 ♪ When the snowman brings the snow 65 00:03:04,966 --> 00:03:07,646 ♪ He might just like to know 66 00:03:08,406 --> 00:03:13,526 ♪ He put a great big smile on somebody's face 67 00:03:15,646 --> 00:03:18,326 ♪ When you jump into your bed 68 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,886 ♪ Pull the covers right over your head 69 00:03:22,726 --> 00:03:24,765 ♪ But don't you lock the doors 70 00:03:24,766 --> 00:03:30,165 ♪ You know Santa Claus is on his way-ay-ay 71 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:34,486 ♪ I wish it could be Christmas every day 72 00:03:37,286 --> 00:03:42,366 ♪ When the kids start singing and the band begins to play 73 00:03:43,846 --> 00:03:50,486 ♪ Oh, yes, I wish it could be Christmas every day 74 00:03:51,846 --> 00:03:59,525 ♪ Let the bells ring out for Christmas 75 00:03:59,526 --> 00:04:01,366 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 76 00:04:02,806 --> 00:04:06,245 ♪ When we're skating in the park 77 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,206 ♪ And the storm cloud paints it dark 78 00:04:10,086 --> 00:04:15,485 ♪ Well, your rosy cheeks are gonna light my merry way 79 00:04:15,486 --> 00:04:16,526 ♪ Oh, now 80 00:04:17,326 --> 00:04:20,006 ♪ When the frosticles appear 81 00:04:21,006 --> 00:04:23,646 ♪ And they've frozen my beard 82 00:04:24,406 --> 00:04:29,085 ♪ So we'll sit by the fire and let the heat melt 'em away... ♪ 83 00:04:29,086 --> 00:04:31,925 You were supposed to be getting - her flute! - Thirteen minutes. 84 00:04:31,926 --> 00:04:33,765 He hasn't even invited her in. Do you hear me? 85 00:04:33,766 --> 00:04:36,845 She's 74 with a fake knee. Get the poor woman a chair. 86 00:04:36,846 --> 00:04:39,485 Look at her under his spell, he's not even listening. 87 00:04:39,486 --> 00:04:42,805 You'd think she'd see through him, but no she's baked him a carrot cake. 88 00:04:42,806 --> 00:04:44,405 How do you know it's carrot? 89 00:04:44,406 --> 00:04:46,445 (POP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH HEADPHONES) 90 00:04:46,446 --> 00:04:48,285 Well... that's normal. 91 00:04:48,286 --> 00:04:49,885 Can you get to school, please? 92 00:04:49,886 --> 00:04:51,565 Get a life, please? Don't backchat me. 93 00:04:51,566 --> 00:04:53,366 And don't cut through the park! 94 00:04:54,606 --> 00:04:59,005 Neil. Look at me. Look at me. I know you've had a difficult time 95 00:04:59,006 --> 00:05:01,485 the last few months. Why'd you keep saying that? I'm fine. 96 00:05:01,486 --> 00:05:04,005 You're not fine. You're distracted, you're short tempered. 97 00:05:04,006 --> 00:05:06,805 You've barely noticed your daughter. I noticed the attitude. 98 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,325 Well, what do you expect. Look... 99 00:05:09,326 --> 00:05:12,445 What Graham did was wrong. You were best friends... 100 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,605 We weren't friends, we were business partners. 101 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,485 Look whatever. The whole Parnes Alarms thing 102 00:05:16,486 --> 00:05:20,365 has clearly affected you. All you do is work, sleep, and this. 103 00:05:20,366 --> 00:05:22,445 It's not healthy. Right, two things. 104 00:05:22,446 --> 00:05:24,805 Firstly, bit of hard work never killed anybody. 105 00:05:24,806 --> 00:05:27,685 Your Uncle Fred had a pre-existing heart condition. 106 00:05:27,686 --> 00:05:30,805 And secondly, I don't need a best friend because I'm not nine, 107 00:05:30,806 --> 00:05:32,965 and this is completely unrelated. 108 00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,125 This is about him messing with the wrong "hombre". 109 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,525 Morning April! Morning Scott. Morning, Euan! 110 00:05:37,526 --> 00:05:40,285 Cake was delicious, by the way. OK fine. Fine. 111 00:05:40,286 --> 00:05:42,285 If you think you're fine, fine. 112 00:05:42,286 --> 00:05:45,005 But if everybody else thinks he a nice normal guy, 113 00:05:45,006 --> 00:05:47,645 easy to get on with, and it's only you who think he's some sort of 114 00:05:47,646 --> 00:05:50,085 mad, evil psychopath, what does that tell you? 115 00:05:50,086 --> 00:05:52,246 That he's winning. 116 00:05:54,046 --> 00:05:55,645 Oh! (GROANS) 117 00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:57,286 (CURIOUS MUSIC) 118 00:06:01,006 --> 00:06:02,526 That's my bin. 119 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,606 (GASPS) 120 00:06:22,486 --> 00:06:24,246 Who's there? 121 00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:29,205 (GRUFFLY) Postman! I thought you were out, so I was just lea... 122 00:06:29,206 --> 00:06:31,766 Parnes Alarms? Neil? 123 00:06:36,126 --> 00:06:38,406 Hello, you two. 124 00:06:40,726 --> 00:06:43,806 (GRUFFLY) Alright mate, I was just delivering these. 125 00:06:45,206 --> 00:06:47,006 (NORMAL VOICE) Oh, I can take those. 126 00:06:49,886 --> 00:06:51,486 (GRUFFLY) 'Ere. 127 00:06:52,686 --> 00:06:55,766 (NORMAL VOICE) Cheers. OK, Merry Christmas. 128 00:06:56,446 --> 00:06:58,285 (GRUFFLY) Right. 129 00:06:58,286 --> 00:07:00,526 And to you, both. 130 00:07:10,446 --> 00:07:13,126 Postie gone has he? Yep, /yeah he's gone. 131 00:07:14,206 --> 00:07:16,726 So what brings you over here, - this time? - In a word... 132 00:07:17,486 --> 00:07:18,645 ..."bins". 133 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:21,285 It looks like our green bins have got mixed up. 134 00:07:21,286 --> 00:07:23,406 Again. Does it matter? 135 00:07:24,206 --> 00:07:27,285 Well, yeah. One of them has got a crack in it. 136 00:07:27,286 --> 00:07:29,205 And it's got, like, sentimental value has it? 137 00:07:29,206 --> 00:07:31,406 No, yours has got a crack in it. 138 00:07:33,686 --> 00:07:36,605 So I'll... I will just... 139 00:07:36,606 --> 00:07:39,846 swap these bins over, again. 140 00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:44,645 And hopefully, that will be the end of it. 141 00:07:44,646 --> 00:07:46,046 Well, fingers crossed. 142 00:07:48,286 --> 00:07:51,286 You can't trust them you know, Parnes Alarms. 143 00:07:52,166 --> 00:07:54,445 I used to work with him. Graham. 144 00:07:54,446 --> 00:07:57,125 Yeah. Out for himself. He's a bad egg. 145 00:07:57,126 --> 00:07:59,606 Oh, he seems alright to me. I do his accounts. 146 00:08:03,126 --> 00:08:04,845 Well, I hope you're both very happy. 147 00:08:04,846 --> 00:08:06,646 We are. 148 00:08:12,846 --> 00:08:15,845 So, what's he sent you then? Mr Parnes? 149 00:08:15,846 --> 00:08:18,846 Oh, you know. Just some... lights. 150 00:08:21,446 --> 00:08:23,125 Lights? Security lights. 151 00:08:23,126 --> 00:08:26,325 April was concerned about my home security so I thought, 152 00:08:26,326 --> 00:08:28,925 a few more lights couldn't hurt. Oh, come off it. 153 00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,925 What have you got against me? Eh? 154 00:08:30,926 --> 00:08:33,205 The flashing lights, swapping the bins, 155 00:08:33,206 --> 00:08:37,526 and I know it was you that complained to the council about my Sierra. 156 00:08:38,286 --> 00:08:40,125 Those complaints are anonymous. 157 00:08:40,126 --> 00:08:41,925 How d'ya know if you didn't complain? 158 00:08:41,926 --> 00:08:43,765 Common knowledge. Argh... 159 00:08:43,766 --> 00:08:45,885 You wheedle your way in here, don't you? Eh? 160 00:08:45,886 --> 00:08:48,885 Convincing everyone round here you're all sweetness and light. 161 00:08:48,886 --> 00:08:51,765 People baking you cakes, laughing at your little jokes. 162 00:08:51,766 --> 00:08:53,925 Years I've lived here without an issue, 163 00:08:53,926 --> 00:08:55,725 but the second you move in... 164 00:08:55,726 --> 00:08:57,846 Oh. You need to open your eyes more. 165 00:08:58,566 --> 00:09:00,765 - Excuse me? - You know what they call you round here? 166 00:09:00,766 --> 00:09:02,726 What? Petty. 167 00:09:03,486 --> 00:09:06,046 Nonsense. Yeah. Tom Petty they call you. 168 00:09:06,726 --> 00:09:08,205 Rubbish. Petty Davis. 169 00:09:08,206 --> 00:09:10,925 - That's not true. - Jean-Paul Petty. You're making these up. 170 00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:12,725 The Petty'sburg address. They don't say that. 171 00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,965 Alpha-petty-spaghetti. That doesn't make sense. 172 00:09:14,966 --> 00:09:17,965 - Dainty little petty coat. - I'm very well respected. Very popular. 173 00:09:17,966 --> 00:09:20,805 Ah well, where's your cake then? Well, it's not in the bin. 174 00:09:20,806 --> 00:09:23,645 Oh, I haven't got time for this. 175 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,525 Neighbourhood watch tonight. You mean nosey parkers. 176 00:09:26,526 --> 00:09:29,685 It's like Parnes Alarms, no substitute for the real thing. 177 00:09:29,686 --> 00:09:31,605 Well, tonight's the big night. 178 00:09:31,606 --> 00:09:34,005 April's standing down as coordinator. 179 00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:35,645 It's the vote to find a replacement. 180 00:09:35,646 --> 00:09:39,765 And, you know, I'm thinking of standing, given my popularity. 181 00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:42,565 Oh, come off it. You wouldn't stand a chance. 182 00:09:42,566 --> 00:09:46,245 Wouldn't I? No, you wouldn't. 183 00:09:46,246 --> 00:09:49,326 Wouldn't I? No, you wouldn't! 184 00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:53,126 Wouldn't I? 185 00:09:58,286 --> 00:10:00,526 (CURIOUS MUSIC) 186 00:10:01,686 --> 00:10:03,085 Euan. 187 00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:04,726 Bin's again. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 188 00:10:14,726 --> 00:10:16,326 (SNIFFLING) 189 00:10:18,206 --> 00:10:20,325 Alright? Fine! 190 00:10:20,326 --> 00:10:21,966 Good stuff. 191 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,005 (DOOR OPENS) (PHONE CHIMES) 192 00:10:25,006 --> 00:10:26,885 (DOOR CLOSES) (OMINOUS MUSIC) 193 00:10:26,886 --> 00:10:28,726 Ah, well, good for business. 194 00:10:30,086 --> 00:10:31,686 There you go darling. 195 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,565 Have you heard this? What? 196 00:10:35,566 --> 00:10:37,005 It's nothing. Just leave it. 197 00:10:37,006 --> 00:10:38,605 She's been mugged. Mum... 198 00:10:38,606 --> 00:10:40,605 You just said you were fine. I am fine! 199 00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:43,605 Ashleigh Brennan stole her ear buds. The ones I bought her? 200 00:10:43,606 --> 00:10:46,565 I had those engraved. Doesn't matter. I don't even care. 201 00:10:46,566 --> 00:10:48,525 When was this? Just now in the park. 202 00:10:48,526 --> 00:10:50,765 Oh, I told you not to cut through the park! 203 00:10:50,766 --> 00:10:52,685 That's it? That's your response. 204 00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:55,766 It's fine, and I'm fine, so can we just leave it? 205 00:10:57,606 --> 00:10:59,725 (HURRIED FOOTSTEPS) (SCOFFS) Well? 206 00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,605 (DISTANT DOOR SLAMS) What do you want me to do? 207 00:11:01,606 --> 00:11:03,885 I don't know. Call the police or something. 208 00:11:03,886 --> 00:11:05,805 You don't call the police on the Brennans. 209 00:11:05,806 --> 00:11:08,005 They're not the kind of people you want to upset. 210 00:11:08,006 --> 00:11:11,485 What about Chloe? Upsetting her? 211 00:11:11,486 --> 00:11:14,725 Go and apologise to her. Go and find her, make sure she's OK. 212 00:11:14,726 --> 00:11:16,646 Be her Dad. 213 00:11:22,886 --> 00:11:25,005 (LAUGHTER) (UPBEAT MUSIC) 214 00:11:25,006 --> 00:11:26,646 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 215 00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:31,805 I'm just gonna, erm... 216 00:11:31,806 --> 00:11:33,446 I'm... I'm just... 217 00:11:37,766 --> 00:11:39,366 (TENSE MUSIC) 218 00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:44,806 (DOOR BUZZES) 219 00:11:52,406 --> 00:11:54,205 WOMAN: Ashleigh. 220 00:11:54,206 --> 00:11:55,846 Big Barry. 221 00:11:56,606 --> 00:11:58,166 Little Barry. Eek! 222 00:11:59,366 --> 00:12:02,445 You know, cos... three years, Mum. (CHUCKLES) 223 00:12:02,446 --> 00:12:04,326 Ah... 224 00:12:10,246 --> 00:12:12,526 Right Brennans, let's get to work. 225 00:12:13,526 --> 00:12:16,325 I told you to ditch the balloon. (INDISTINCT ARGUING) 226 00:12:16,326 --> 00:12:17,966 Just get in! 227 00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:23,845 Oh. Lovely to see you Scott. 228 00:12:23,846 --> 00:12:26,485 And the tea is in your left hand. 229 00:12:26,486 --> 00:12:29,845 Oh. In the cup-shaped thing. I've got you. Thank you. (CHUCKLES) 230 00:12:29,846 --> 00:12:31,486 Just this way Scott. 231 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,485 Scott. Hi. 232 00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:37,685 Oh, hey, Sabrina. How are you doing? Hi. Yeah, I'm good thanks. 233 00:12:37,686 --> 00:12:39,965 New shirt? Oh, yeah. Pressie from my daughter. 234 00:12:39,966 --> 00:12:41,605 Oh, lovely... Yeah. 235 00:12:41,606 --> 00:12:43,245 Matches your eyes. Yeah. 236 00:12:43,246 --> 00:12:45,406 What, you mean it doesn't work? 237 00:12:46,126 --> 00:12:47,805 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Sorry. 238 00:12:47,806 --> 00:12:49,485 No, that's alright. Um... 239 00:12:49,486 --> 00:12:51,925 There's a seat next to me if you want to... 240 00:12:51,926 --> 00:12:54,685 Oh, um... No, I'm with these guys here, you know, I'd better... 241 00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:55,765 Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - Oh, OK. 242 00:12:55,766 --> 00:12:57,885 APRIL: Everyone, settle down. Yeah. See you later. 243 00:12:57,886 --> 00:12:59,725 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 244 00:12:59,726 --> 00:13:02,645 Right, then, thank you everybody. 245 00:13:02,646 --> 00:13:05,886 Well. There's no avoiding the elephant in the room. 246 00:13:06,646 --> 00:13:11,365 As everyone knows, I'm stepping down as community coordinator. 247 00:13:11,366 --> 00:13:13,885 (GROUP AWs) It's been very fulfilling... 248 00:13:13,886 --> 00:13:17,126 but, without John to share the load... 249 00:13:18,206 --> 00:13:20,325 ...it's time to pass on the torch. 250 00:13:20,326 --> 00:13:21,805 (GROUP AWs) 251 00:13:21,806 --> 00:13:24,605 Which brings me to the small matter of my successor, 252 00:13:24,606 --> 00:13:27,686 and we have a wealth of talent on the shortlist. 253 00:13:28,526 --> 00:13:31,006 There's Bill and Janet. (APPLAUSE) 254 00:13:32,366 --> 00:13:35,086 The two Sues. (APPLAUSE) 255 00:13:35,766 --> 00:13:38,485 And, of course, our current bursar, Evelyn. 256 00:13:38,486 --> 00:13:40,325 (APPLAUSE) 257 00:13:40,326 --> 00:13:43,726 So, unless anybody else is thinking of standing... 258 00:13:44,806 --> 00:13:48,126 ...the vote will be a simple show of hands. 259 00:13:50,086 --> 00:13:51,246 (GROUP GASPS) Neil? 260 00:13:52,366 --> 00:13:54,485 This is an unexpected... 261 00:13:54,486 --> 00:13:55,725 Unexpected. 262 00:13:55,726 --> 00:13:57,885 Well, you know, I knew it was your big day, April. 263 00:13:57,886 --> 00:13:59,565 I wanted to see you go. 264 00:13:59,566 --> 00:14:01,765 I mean, mark the occasion. 265 00:14:01,766 --> 00:14:04,245 Out with the old... not that you're old! 266 00:14:04,246 --> 00:14:07,285 I mean "old guard", a lynchpin, a big beast. 267 00:14:07,286 --> 00:14:10,325 Not that you're big, you know, you've lost a lot of um... 268 00:14:10,326 --> 00:14:12,885 How's John? He's dead. I'll sit down. 269 00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:14,645 (MURMURING) 270 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,966 Yes, um... Where were we? 271 00:14:17,686 --> 00:14:19,885 Ah, voting! 272 00:14:19,886 --> 00:14:25,085 So, I will list each candidate in turn and ask for a show of hands. 273 00:14:25,086 --> 00:14:28,205 Oh, Scott. Have you, uh...? 274 00:14:28,206 --> 00:14:31,606 Um, yes April. Um, I've been thinking... 275 00:14:32,366 --> 00:14:35,405 ...just about how incredibly welcoming 276 00:14:35,406 --> 00:14:36,885 this community has been to me. 277 00:14:36,886 --> 00:14:40,606 How kind and accepting and, well... 278 00:14:41,446 --> 00:14:44,165 ...just about the help and support that you've all given to me 279 00:14:44,166 --> 00:14:47,445 when I've really needed it. And... (GROUP AWs) 280 00:14:47,446 --> 00:14:49,845 ...if I could give something back to all the people 281 00:14:49,846 --> 00:14:51,605 that have given so much to me. 282 00:14:51,606 --> 00:14:54,405 And if the role of coordinator might allow me to do that, 283 00:14:54,406 --> 00:14:56,126 and if you were to put your trust in me... 284 00:14:56,886 --> 00:14:59,965 ...then it's a mantel I'd be honoured to take on. 285 00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,925 (GROUP AWs) 286 00:15:01,926 --> 00:15:04,165 Well, thank you Scott. 287 00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:07,085 I will certainly add your name to the list. 288 00:15:07,086 --> 00:15:08,526 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 289 00:15:10,246 --> 00:15:11,766 I vote for Scott. 290 00:15:12,566 --> 00:15:15,085 Mm, I'm out. And so's Sue. 291 00:15:15,086 --> 00:15:17,045 Oh. Bill, Janet? 292 00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:18,925 No. No. - No. - Right... 293 00:15:18,926 --> 00:15:21,805 So, as there are no other hats in the ring... 294 00:15:21,806 --> 00:15:23,445 Wait! 295 00:15:23,446 --> 00:15:24,845 (GROUP GASPS) 296 00:15:24,846 --> 00:15:27,846 - Neil? - I would like to put myself into April's ring. 297 00:15:29,046 --> 00:15:31,006 My hat into the ring. 298 00:15:32,926 --> 00:15:36,325 As a professional in home security... 299 00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:39,965 Causes for Alarms, I could not be better suited, 300 00:15:39,966 --> 00:15:43,245 or indeed, better qualified, for the role. 301 00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:46,725 And I would be honoured to share 302 00:15:46,726 --> 00:15:49,686 that experience, and expertise... 303 00:15:50,766 --> 00:15:53,446 (MURMURING) 304 00:15:54,926 --> 00:15:56,925 And... 305 00:15:56,926 --> 00:15:59,925 a generous affiliate discount of 20% 306 00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:03,485 off all home security products for committee members. 307 00:16:03,486 --> 00:16:05,046 (MURMURING) 308 00:16:07,806 --> 00:16:09,285 30%? WOMAN: Forty! 309 00:16:09,286 --> 00:16:14,005 40%! Oh, I vote for discount man. 310 00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:16,645 Yeah. Right... 311 00:16:16,646 --> 00:16:19,765 Well, we appear to have a two horse race. 312 00:16:19,766 --> 00:16:21,886 So, let's put it to the vote, shall we? 313 00:16:22,566 --> 00:16:24,406 Show of hands for Scott... 314 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,086 And for Neil? 315 00:16:32,126 --> 00:16:33,766 What are the chances? 316 00:16:34,846 --> 00:16:38,326 It would seem that we have... 317 00:16:39,286 --> 00:16:41,526 ...a tie. (MURMURING) 318 00:16:42,526 --> 00:16:47,805 Seriously? I mean, do I have to point out the obvious here? 319 00:16:47,806 --> 00:16:50,165 It's supposed to be Neighbourhood "Watch". 320 00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:52,486 (GROUP GASPS) 321 00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:56,365 I'm mean surely there must be rules for this sort of thing. 322 00:16:56,366 --> 00:16:57,926 Who has the casting vote? 323 00:17:04,966 --> 00:17:07,565 (MAGICAL TWINKLING) 324 00:17:07,566 --> 00:17:10,245 You have got to be kidding me. 325 00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,765 What's happening? I think John's voting. 326 00:17:12,766 --> 00:17:15,645 I thought John was dead. He is. 327 00:17:15,646 --> 00:17:18,565 OK, OK. So, I think he would want 328 00:17:18,566 --> 00:17:22,326 the role of community coordinator to go to... 329 00:17:23,166 --> 00:17:24,766 both of you. 330 00:17:25,486 --> 00:17:27,286 Jointly. (APPLAUSE) 331 00:17:29,846 --> 00:17:31,446 No, no, no, no, no. 332 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,565 Bye Scott. Bye-bye, take care. 333 00:17:36,566 --> 00:17:39,286 (LAUGHS) Merry Christmas. 334 00:17:41,206 --> 00:17:43,445 OK, what are you playing at?! So, you're not as popular 335 00:17:43,446 --> 00:17:45,605 as you thought are, eh? You don't even want the job! 336 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,725 The people have spoken and you lost!! 337 00:17:47,726 --> 00:17:49,205 It was a draw! 338 00:17:49,206 --> 00:17:52,045 Only on paper maybe. But I'm the only one with the skillset. 339 00:17:52,046 --> 00:17:54,965 So, why don't you take your little badge, go back to your little house- 340 00:17:54,966 --> 00:17:57,525 They're all the same size. And let me do what I've done 341 00:17:57,526 --> 00:17:59,325 my whole adult life. 342 00:17:59,326 --> 00:18:02,285 What, act like a child? Home security. 343 00:18:02,286 --> 00:18:05,685 Causes for Alarms. We are very popular. 344 00:18:05,686 --> 00:18:08,485 Shouldn't it be "Cause" for Alarms?! 345 00:18:08,486 --> 00:18:10,285 It works. 346 00:18:10,286 --> 00:18:12,725 Oh, and number one rule, hm? 347 00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:15,366 This year... TAKE YOUR LIGHTS DOWN! 348 00:18:17,526 --> 00:18:20,672 OK, I'll take my lights down. 349 00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:28,009 Oh, look at that. 350 00:18:28,010 --> 00:18:31,649 Yeah. Quality plastic that, and all our alarms are hardwired, 351 00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:33,929 so you won't have to change the batteries. 352 00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:36,129 And, seeing as it's Christmas, Evelyn, 353 00:18:36,130 --> 00:18:38,249 I'm gonna throw in a free mug. 354 00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:40,609 Ha, catch? Only joking. 355 00:18:40,610 --> 00:18:43,009 Bone china. Well, made in China. 356 00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:45,569 And all with- Yes, all with 40% off. 357 00:18:45,570 --> 00:18:47,169 I'm a man... 358 00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:48,690 What the hell?! 359 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,169 WOMAN: Careful, Scott! (GASPS) 360 00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:54,169 Sign that. Oh! 361 00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:57,649 MAN: Come down Scott, you'll fall! (ALL GASP) 362 00:18:57,650 --> 00:18:59,809 I'm fine. Nothing to see here. 363 00:18:59,810 --> 00:19:01,609 I'm OK. Honest. 364 00:19:01,610 --> 00:19:02,929 Ooh! 365 00:19:02,930 --> 00:19:05,169 (WHIMPERING) 366 00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:07,449 ALL: Woah! (SHRIEK) 367 00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:08,969 Scott! Please, don't move! 368 00:19:08,970 --> 00:19:11,529 Honestly. I'm... fine! 369 00:19:11,530 --> 00:19:13,089 (ALL SCREAM) 370 00:19:13,090 --> 00:19:14,889 (YELLING) 371 00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:16,689 Still fine. SABRINA: If you want more 372 00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:20,129 decorations up, we can do that. You're gonna get yourself killed! 373 00:19:20,130 --> 00:19:24,169 I'm not putting them up, I am taking them down! 374 00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:26,169 What? Why? 375 00:19:26,170 --> 00:19:30,729 Neil told me to take my lights down. 376 00:19:30,730 --> 00:19:33,249 What?! Did you, Neil? 377 00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:35,369 No. 378 00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:37,729 Well, yes, but, you know, I didn't me... 379 00:19:37,730 --> 00:19:40,569 I didn't mean now, obviously not now, it's Christmas! 380 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,929 SUE 1: Right. Step aside. SUE 2: Coming through! 381 00:19:42,930 --> 00:19:46,329 You've got the wrong end of the... You know. Keep the lights! 382 00:19:46,330 --> 00:19:48,009 More lights I say!! 383 00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:50,409 We'll have you down in no time cockleshell. 384 00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:53,649 Thanks Sues. Right, come on. 385 00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:55,290 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 386 00:19:58,250 --> 00:20:00,649 That's it. Careful, yep, that's it. 387 00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:02,169 (CROWD GASPS) 388 00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:03,810 (PANICKED CHATTER) 389 00:20:06,090 --> 00:20:08,049 I've got your right ankle. 390 00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:09,890 ♪ We Wish You a Merry Christmas ♪ 391 00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:17,930 If it's lights you want, I'll give you lights. 392 00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:20,489 I'll show them who's Mr Christmas. 393 00:20:20,490 --> 00:20:22,489 You wait to see what I can do. 394 00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:25,769 Mum. Is dad having a breakdown? 395 00:20:25,770 --> 00:20:27,530 LAURA: Yeah, looks like it. 396 00:20:30,250 --> 00:20:33,449 (SIREN WAILING) Roll up, guys. Come on down! 397 00:20:33,450 --> 00:20:35,090 (SIREN WAILING) 398 00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:41,729 Roll up. Roll up for the great Staplethorne Close 399 00:20:41,730 --> 00:20:43,610 Christmas switch-on! Ha-ha! 400 00:20:44,290 --> 00:20:46,930 Sponsored by Causes for Alarms! 401 00:20:48,010 --> 00:20:50,650 (SIREN WAILING) (CROWD EXCLAIMS) 402 00:20:52,050 --> 00:20:54,329 Yeah. Sorry, Evelyn, I probably don't need this. Um... 403 00:20:54,330 --> 00:20:56,010 (MEGAPHONE CLATTERS) 404 00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,929 (FEEDBACK SCREECHES) So, I am very aware 405 00:20:58,930 --> 00:21:01,370 of the, um, little... 406 00:21:02,290 --> 00:21:04,289 ...confusion earlier today, 407 00:21:04,290 --> 00:21:08,889 regarding my attitude to the community, 408 00:21:08,890 --> 00:21:11,569 or some persons therein, 409 00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:15,849 indeed, the whole of the festive season. 410 00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:18,729 I am delighted to address this matter, 411 00:21:18,730 --> 00:21:22,809 in a way that demonstrates how wholeheartedly affectionate 412 00:21:22,810 --> 00:21:27,330 I feel about this most wonderful time of the year. 413 00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:29,889 (DISTORTED) # You better watch out 414 00:21:29,890 --> 00:21:30,929 ♪ You better not cry 415 00:21:30,930 --> 00:21:33,369 ♪ You better not pout, I'm telling you why 416 00:21:33,370 --> 00:21:36,489 ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town 417 00:21:36,490 --> 00:21:37,689 ♪ He's making a list 418 00:21:37,690 --> 00:21:38,849 ♪ And checking it twice 419 00:21:38,850 --> 00:21:41,369 ♪ Gonna find out who's... ♪ (MUSIC SLOWS, STOPS) 420 00:21:41,370 --> 00:21:43,250 (CROWD GASPS) 421 00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:47,729 (CAR ALARMS WAILING) 422 00:21:47,730 --> 00:21:49,370 (PANICKED CHATTER) 423 00:21:51,290 --> 00:21:52,929 Are they on? 424 00:21:52,930 --> 00:21:54,570 (AIR HISSING) 425 00:21:55,290 --> 00:21:56,890 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 426 00:22:00,650 --> 00:22:02,689 (ANGRY CHATTER) 427 00:22:02,690 --> 00:22:05,250 We don't know for certain that it was my fault. 428 00:22:07,210 --> 00:22:10,929 Excuse me. Do we know when the power will be back on? 429 00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:12,490 Well, he... 430 00:22:13,370 --> 00:22:16,209 the surge clipped the mains ring for the whole street, 431 00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:17,689 which burnt out part of the sub. 432 00:22:17,690 --> 00:22:20,249 So, we'll be done here by 5:00 ish. 433 00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:23,569 But, with the off-site work, you're looking at a couple of days. 434 00:22:23,570 --> 00:22:25,649 What?! But it's Christmas Eve! 435 00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:28,930 They'll work as fast as they can, but I wouldn't hold my breath. 436 00:22:29,650 --> 00:22:32,329 If I were you I'd make other plans for Christmas. 437 00:22:32,330 --> 00:22:33,849 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) I'm sorry. 438 00:22:33,850 --> 00:22:36,170 Excuse me. 439 00:22:39,730 --> 00:22:41,449 Well, Neil? 440 00:22:41,450 --> 00:22:44,849 Look, we're all in the same boat. My power's off too. 441 00:22:44,850 --> 00:22:48,049 We're just gonna have to stay with a friend or family. 442 00:22:48,050 --> 00:22:49,849 It's just a couple of days. 443 00:22:49,850 --> 00:22:52,729 But who's going to spritz my Epipremnum? 444 00:22:52,730 --> 00:22:54,889 And who's gonna feed Mr Baldwin? 445 00:22:54,890 --> 00:22:58,290 Look, we just... Who? My cat. 446 00:22:59,290 --> 00:23:02,209 Obviously, there-there are going to be things that we need to- 447 00:23:02,210 --> 00:23:03,610 SCOTT: I'll do it. 448 00:23:05,610 --> 00:23:07,169 (MAGICAL TWINKLING) 449 00:23:07,170 --> 00:23:10,369 I'll feed Mr Baldwin and keep Evelyn's whatsit moist. 450 00:23:10,370 --> 00:23:13,249 But there's no power. You'll freeze. 451 00:23:13,250 --> 00:23:15,850 I've got jumpers. And it's not like I need the lights on. 452 00:23:16,610 --> 00:23:20,369 And I had no plans, so it's fine, honest. Besides... 453 00:23:20,370 --> 00:23:23,489 somebody should stay and keep an eye on the place, so to speak. 454 00:23:23,490 --> 00:23:25,130 (LAUGHTER) 455 00:23:25,850 --> 00:23:28,729 And, of course, as co-coordinator of the Neighbourhood Watch, 456 00:23:28,730 --> 00:23:31,289 I do feel duty bound to ensure that our homes 457 00:23:31,290 --> 00:23:33,849 remain safe over the festive period 458 00:23:33,850 --> 00:23:38,729 regardless of who is to blame for our current predicament. 459 00:23:38,730 --> 00:23:40,649 You know, that is, after all, 460 00:23:40,650 --> 00:23:44,890 what any decent co-coordinator should do. 461 00:23:46,370 --> 00:23:47,970 (MURMURING) 462 00:23:49,650 --> 00:23:52,729 And of course, as co... 463 00:23:52,730 --> 00:23:55,529 co-coordinator, I will, um... 464 00:23:55,530 --> 00:24:00,969 gladly match Scott's kind offer 465 00:24:00,970 --> 00:24:03,689 and share those... 466 00:24:03,690 --> 00:24:05,330 responsibilities. 467 00:24:06,490 --> 00:24:08,249 Gladly. 468 00:24:08,250 --> 00:24:09,890 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 469 00:24:11,810 --> 00:24:14,289 Looks like we're imposing on my mum again. 470 00:24:14,290 --> 00:24:16,130 Yeah. About that. 471 00:24:17,010 --> 00:24:21,009 Turns out I'm going to have to stay, sort of, 472 00:24:21,010 --> 00:24:24,170 here for Christmas. What? Why? 473 00:24:25,610 --> 00:24:27,489 Well, Scott sort of offered. 474 00:24:27,490 --> 00:24:30,729 Oh, Scott, yeah, of course. Should have known. 475 00:24:30,730 --> 00:24:33,049 Not content with ruining Christmas, you're what, 476 00:24:33,050 --> 00:24:35,369 you're now abandoning us as well? 477 00:24:35,370 --> 00:24:37,129 And somehow that's all... 478 00:24:37,130 --> 00:24:39,329 that's all Scott's fault too, yeah? 479 00:24:39,330 --> 00:24:42,169 Well, we could all stay here. 480 00:24:42,170 --> 00:24:44,769 You know, sort of camp out in the house. 481 00:24:44,770 --> 00:24:47,170 Bit of an adventure. Might be fun. 482 00:24:49,170 --> 00:24:51,809 Alright, think of Chloe. I'm sure she'd rather stay here 483 00:24:51,810 --> 00:24:55,490 as a family, than schlep off to Gran- Grandma's please! 484 00:24:56,410 --> 00:24:58,010 (SIGHS) 485 00:25:00,730 --> 00:25:02,330 Maybe it's a good thing. 486 00:25:03,090 --> 00:25:05,010 Few days apart. Some time to think. 487 00:25:06,210 --> 00:25:08,369 What do you need to think about? No... 488 00:25:08,370 --> 00:25:10,889 Not me. You. 489 00:25:10,890 --> 00:25:12,769 For you to think... 490 00:25:12,770 --> 00:25:15,649 about what's more important: your family or your obsession 491 00:25:15,650 --> 00:25:17,290 with the bloke over the road. 492 00:25:25,530 --> 00:25:27,130 (TENSE MUSIC) 493 00:25:29,810 --> 00:25:33,809 So, you want a thin, continuous line and apply firm, but equal- 494 00:25:33,810 --> 00:25:36,369 STACEY: Ashleigh. You can't avoid police attention 495 00:25:36,370 --> 00:25:38,530 AND be an influencer. (DISTANT CLATTERING) 496 00:25:39,290 --> 00:25:41,089 Aye, aye! There it is, there it is. 497 00:25:41,090 --> 00:25:42,649 I've got about four... four quid. 498 00:25:42,650 --> 00:25:44,729 I told ya. They all use the app. 499 00:25:44,730 --> 00:25:48,209 Seriously, Does no one in this family know how to steal anymore? 500 00:25:48,210 --> 00:25:50,650 Uh, I nicked these off some girl in the park. 501 00:25:51,690 --> 00:25:53,290 Take 'em down pawn shop? 502 00:25:54,450 --> 00:25:56,009 They're engraved, genius. 503 00:25:56,010 --> 00:25:57,650 Oh. 504 00:25:59,050 --> 00:26:00,409 Chlo-Chlo-Pops. 505 00:26:00,410 --> 00:26:04,090 TV REPORTER: ..that left the entire street without electricity. 506 00:26:06,970 --> 00:26:11,570 I was in the middle of making tea, and suddenly everything went black. 507 00:26:12,530 --> 00:26:14,649 It was absolutely astounding. 508 00:26:14,650 --> 00:26:18,089 Everything went out. The whole electricity, 509 00:26:18,090 --> 00:26:20,289 the power, everything. Gone. 510 00:26:20,290 --> 00:26:21,849 Barry. BOTH: Yeah? 511 00:26:21,850 --> 00:26:23,569 Not you junior, Big Barry. Oh. 512 00:26:23,570 --> 00:26:25,489 Come here. Have you seen this? 513 00:26:25,490 --> 00:26:28,369 What is it, Stace? Everything was lovely and suddenly, 514 00:26:28,370 --> 00:26:32,409 poof, bang, everything black. 515 00:26:32,410 --> 00:26:34,529 No electricity, nothing. 516 00:26:34,530 --> 00:26:37,289 No lights. Why do we care about that old bag? 517 00:26:37,290 --> 00:26:39,649 Oi. Show some respect... 518 00:26:39,650 --> 00:26:42,129 It's not about the old bag, it's what she's saying. 519 00:26:42,130 --> 00:26:48,169 ...the entire street has had to up-sticks and make other plans. 520 00:26:48,170 --> 00:26:52,409 The entire street is shipping out for Christmas. Which means... 521 00:26:52,410 --> 00:26:55,129 an entire road of empty houses. 522 00:26:55,130 --> 00:26:58,809 Oh... No. 523 00:26:58,810 --> 00:26:59,850 I dunno, love. 524 00:27:00,690 --> 00:27:02,729 You've only just got out. 525 00:27:02,730 --> 00:27:05,049 If you do this and you get pinched for it, 526 00:27:05,050 --> 00:27:06,769 they're gonna throw the book at you. 527 00:27:06,770 --> 00:27:09,130 Yeah. But no-one's getting pinched. 528 00:27:10,610 --> 00:27:12,129 Power's out, you see. 529 00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:17,450 So it's not just "no witnesses", it's no lights, no alarms... 530 00:27:18,370 --> 00:27:20,210 ...and no security cameras. 531 00:27:21,330 --> 00:27:23,609 (MENACING MUSIC) It's a Christmas miracle. 532 00:27:23,610 --> 00:27:26,130 (LAUGHS) BOTH: Sound. 533 00:27:33,690 --> 00:27:35,290 (DOWNBEAT MUSIC) 534 00:27:37,810 --> 00:27:39,410 SUE 1: Thanks for nothing! 535 00:27:44,410 --> 00:27:46,010 (DISTANT LAUGHTER) 536 00:27:49,050 --> 00:27:50,650 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 537 00:27:54,490 --> 00:27:56,530 So, wet in the morning, dry at night. 538 00:27:57,370 --> 00:28:01,369 - Huh? - Oh sorry, um, pouch in the morning, dry food at night. 539 00:28:01,370 --> 00:28:03,969 Oh yeah, got ya. Understood, no problem. 540 00:28:03,970 --> 00:28:06,009 Scotty boy's on it. 541 00:28:06,010 --> 00:28:07,969 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY, SIGHS) 542 00:28:07,970 --> 00:28:09,809 Are you sure you're gonna be OK? 543 00:28:09,810 --> 00:28:13,209 Oh, we'll be fine, won't we mate? (CAT PURRING) 544 00:28:13,210 --> 00:28:15,890 This is him, yeah? Yeah, that's him. 545 00:28:17,410 --> 00:28:19,609 Only, um... 546 00:28:19,610 --> 00:28:21,810 I could always... stay? 547 00:28:22,810 --> 00:28:25,209 You know, if you needed some company or, um... 548 00:28:25,210 --> 00:28:28,689 I could just cook or. No, no, no, no, no, it's fine. 549 00:28:28,690 --> 00:28:32,169 OK.I've got to water the cat and feed the plants. You know... 550 00:28:32,170 --> 00:28:33,729 Yeah 551 00:28:33,730 --> 00:28:36,130 You just, um... 552 00:28:37,370 --> 00:28:39,530 Have a nice Christmas. Oh, oh, you too. 553 00:28:50,810 --> 00:28:52,410 We will be OK, won't we Laura? 554 00:29:06,850 --> 00:29:08,450 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 555 00:29:17,210 --> 00:29:18,810 (EAGLE SQUAWKS) 556 00:29:21,690 --> 00:29:23,929 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC RESUMES) 557 00:29:23,930 --> 00:29:26,449 (WIND WHISTLES) (GUNSHOT) 558 00:29:26,450 --> 00:29:28,410 ♪ Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer ♪ 559 00:29:40,690 --> 00:29:43,890 (WHISTLING TO TUNE OF "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer) 560 00:29:46,930 --> 00:29:48,530 Ah! Ah... Ooh! 561 00:29:50,490 --> 00:29:52,090 Ah! 562 00:29:55,090 --> 00:29:56,690 (OBJECTS CLATTERING) 563 00:30:01,210 --> 00:30:04,850 Extra large, double pepperoni, thin crust, with some mushrooms. 564 00:30:06,010 --> 00:30:09,570 Have you got some ice? You know, not on the pizza. 565 00:30:10,890 --> 00:30:12,490 Ha-ha. 566 00:30:13,650 --> 00:30:15,649 (EXHALES) 567 00:30:15,650 --> 00:30:17,489 Woah! 568 00:30:17,490 --> 00:30:18,970 (LAUGHS) 569 00:30:20,450 --> 00:30:22,210 (SIGHS) 570 00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:24,769 (GLASS SHATTERS) 571 00:30:24,770 --> 00:30:27,449 (SLURPS, CHUCKLES) 572 00:30:27,450 --> 00:30:29,090 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 573 00:30:30,690 --> 00:30:32,290 Pizza. 574 00:30:33,690 --> 00:30:36,890 Merry Christmas. Yeah, same to you. 575 00:30:40,170 --> 00:30:41,770 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 576 00:30:49,250 --> 00:30:51,769 'Twas the night before Christmas 577 00:30:51,770 --> 00:30:55,969 and I've got a feeling that no one was home... 578 00:30:55,970 --> 00:30:57,610 So, let's do some stealing! 579 00:30:58,770 --> 00:31:01,130 (LAUGHS) Yes! (MIMICS EXPLOSION) 580 00:31:05,010 --> 00:31:10,170 ♪ ..every fairytale comes real 581 00:31:11,570 --> 00:31:14,250 ♪ I've looked at love that way 582 00:31:17,770 --> 00:31:21,649 ♪ But now it's just another show- ♪ 583 00:31:21,650 --> 00:31:23,450 (COMPUTER CHIMES) 584 00:31:26,610 --> 00:31:28,810 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) BIG BARRY: Ha-ha! 585 00:31:29,530 --> 00:31:31,329 Right, Brennans. 586 00:31:31,330 --> 00:31:33,329 We split up and do a sweep. 587 00:31:33,330 --> 00:31:35,009 Check for any stragglers. 588 00:31:35,010 --> 00:31:37,889 We've got too many houses and not enough time, 589 00:31:37,890 --> 00:31:42,729 so look for easy ways in: old locks, open windows- 590 00:31:42,730 --> 00:31:44,929 Signs that say "burglars stop here". 591 00:31:44,930 --> 00:31:48,009 (LAUGHS) Alright, keep the noise down. 592 00:31:48,010 --> 00:31:50,369 (RADIO BLEEPS) Comms on channel 7. Any questions? 593 00:31:50,370 --> 00:31:52,209 Do we get a break? 594 00:31:52,210 --> 00:31:53,850 Yeah. 595 00:31:54,610 --> 00:31:58,290 You had three years off, ending last Thursday. 596 00:32:00,050 --> 00:32:01,650 (CAT PURRING) 597 00:32:02,610 --> 00:32:04,529 (CAT YOWLS) 598 00:32:04,530 --> 00:32:06,689 Filthy things. 599 00:32:06,690 --> 00:32:08,330 Chicka-boom! 600 00:32:13,170 --> 00:32:14,930 (CAT PURRING) 601 00:32:16,250 --> 00:32:18,769 See, no power. 602 00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:20,889 No evidence. No prison. 603 00:32:20,890 --> 00:32:24,129 Not this time. (LAUGHS) 604 00:32:24,130 --> 00:32:26,169 Hello, woo-hoo! 605 00:32:26,170 --> 00:32:27,850 (LAUGHS) 606 00:32:28,810 --> 00:32:30,209 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 607 00:32:30,210 --> 00:32:31,850 (WHISTLING) 608 00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:37,530 Ooh, hello. What've we got here? 609 00:32:39,650 --> 00:32:41,569 (GASPS) 610 00:32:41,570 --> 00:32:43,130 (PANTING) 611 00:32:44,810 --> 00:32:46,649 (EXHALES, CHUCKLES) 612 00:32:46,650 --> 00:32:49,529 Nearly. (CHUCKLES) Right. 613 00:32:49,530 --> 00:32:53,929 Eenie-meenie-mini-mo, catch an elf by the... 614 00:32:53,930 --> 00:32:55,609 Ooh! 615 00:32:55,610 --> 00:32:58,449 That is a big telly. (CHUCKLES) 616 00:32:58,450 --> 00:33:03,049 I'll be coming back for you, my precious. 617 00:33:03,050 --> 00:33:04,690 (SOMBRE MUSIC) 618 00:33:10,210 --> 00:33:12,049 Oh, here we go. 619 00:33:12,050 --> 00:33:14,249 (AS LAURA) "Share your pizza with him". 620 00:33:14,250 --> 00:33:15,890 No. 621 00:33:20,170 --> 00:33:22,250 OK, fine! 622 00:33:25,290 --> 00:33:26,890 (TENSE MUSIC) 623 00:33:29,970 --> 00:33:32,089 (RADIO CRACKLES) All clear at number 8. 624 00:33:32,090 --> 00:33:34,649 Have you checked the back? No. Doing it now. 625 00:33:34,650 --> 00:33:36,609 Ugh, typical. 626 00:33:36,610 --> 00:33:38,490 ♪ Carol of the Bells ♪ 627 00:33:44,130 --> 00:33:46,649 Hiya, I've got a pizza. No. 628 00:33:46,650 --> 00:33:49,169 Hiya, I've got too much pizza. Ugh. 629 00:33:49,170 --> 00:33:52,130 Hi, I was going to put this pizza in the bin. Don't mention the bins! 630 00:33:56,770 --> 00:33:57,770 (BARRY GRUNTS) 631 00:33:59,570 --> 00:34:01,170 (GROANS) 632 00:34:09,370 --> 00:34:10,970 (SNIFFLES) 633 00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:15,289 PODCAST HOST: Welcome to this week's edition of We Don't Like Cricket, 634 00:34:15,290 --> 00:34:17,729 and we're discussing the series that's just taken place 635 00:34:17,730 --> 00:34:19,169 between England and New Zealand. 636 00:34:19,170 --> 00:34:21,929 We're going to chewing the cud all about this. My name is Ivan, 637 00:34:21,930 --> 00:34:23,650 joined as always by the one and only... 638 00:34:26,570 --> 00:34:29,209 PODCAST HOST 2: In many ways scoring 99 is better than scoring 100. 639 00:34:29,210 --> 00:34:31,849 Loads of people score hundreds, not many people get out on 99. 640 00:34:31,850 --> 00:34:32,890 Nobody tracks them. 641 00:34:36,650 --> 00:34:39,089 Hey, Stace. This side doors got a lock that 642 00:34:39,090 --> 00:34:42,329 looks like I could have fitted it. I think we've got a winner. 643 00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:47,050 Look, we're both grown-ups, it's Christmas... 644 00:34:48,010 --> 00:34:49,929 ...you probably like pepperoni... 645 00:34:49,930 --> 00:34:52,370 so why don't we, you know... Why don't we just... 646 00:34:55,370 --> 00:34:57,170 Nope. Can't do it. 647 00:35:01,090 --> 00:35:04,930 Parnes Alarms. Get your mate Graham to buy you a pizza. 648 00:35:05,890 --> 00:35:07,490 Stick it on his invoice. 649 00:35:14,650 --> 00:35:16,849 England and New Zealand - really put on a show. - Mm-hm. 650 00:35:16,850 --> 00:35:18,529 Absolutely, both teams showcased... 651 00:35:18,530 --> 00:35:20,329 (ASHLEIGH GRUNTS) I like this house. 652 00:35:20,330 --> 00:35:22,129 Great, Barry. Let's try and get in it. 653 00:35:22,130 --> 00:35:24,009 Give me some... Put your weight on here, mate. 654 00:35:24,010 --> 00:35:25,650 Three, two, one, go... 655 00:35:26,850 --> 00:35:28,929 England are really missing Jimmy Anderson. 656 00:35:28,930 --> 00:35:30,809 (GRUNTS) STACEY: (OVER RADIO) Hold up... 657 00:35:30,810 --> 00:35:32,809 Open window at number 4. Get over here. 658 00:35:32,810 --> 00:35:35,569 What? Number 4. 659 00:35:35,570 --> 00:35:37,249 Number 4, OK. (RADIO SCREECHES) 660 00:35:37,250 --> 00:35:41,250 PODCAST HOST 2: England'll continue to miss Jimmy Anderson until the heat death of the universe. 661 00:35:42,290 --> 00:35:43,889 Alright, kid? (RADIO CRACKLES) 662 00:35:43,890 --> 00:35:45,849 Sound. - Sound. - Keep quiet. 663 00:35:45,850 --> 00:35:47,650 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 664 00:35:48,650 --> 00:35:50,209 You'd know if you could count. 665 00:35:50,210 --> 00:35:52,690 Uh, he can roller-skate and you can't... 666 00:35:53,450 --> 00:35:55,050 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 667 00:35:58,690 --> 00:36:01,129 Won't budge. Must be on the night latch. 668 00:36:01,130 --> 00:36:02,929 (CHUCKLES) Aye! 669 00:36:02,930 --> 00:36:05,170 There's a knack to these. Hold that. 670 00:36:05,930 --> 00:36:08,129 Today. Thank you. 671 00:36:08,130 --> 00:36:11,529 Right. All it is, is... 672 00:36:11,530 --> 00:36:13,449 Just need... 673 00:36:13,450 --> 00:36:15,089 Just a little... 674 00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:17,970 And then, you're... 675 00:36:19,970 --> 00:36:21,290 (GASPS) 676 00:36:22,130 --> 00:36:23,769 ...in. 677 00:36:23,770 --> 00:36:26,850 Ah, well. Thank God we had an expert. 678 00:36:33,050 --> 00:36:36,849 (PHONE PINGS) Call. Tom. Petty. 679 00:36:36,850 --> 00:36:39,849 AUTOMATED VOICE: Calling Tom Petty. Shh! 680 00:36:39,850 --> 00:36:42,049 (LINE DIALLING) (PANTING) 681 00:36:42,050 --> 00:36:44,090 (PHONE PLAYING "Halloween Theme") 682 00:36:52,370 --> 00:36:55,089 Pick up. Pick up... Oh, pick up! 683 00:36:55,090 --> 00:36:57,890 (PHONE CONTINUES PLAYING "Halloween Theme") 684 00:36:58,970 --> 00:37:00,809 (PHONE BLEEPS) Pick up, pick up, pick up... 685 00:37:00,810 --> 00:37:02,249 You useless git! 686 00:37:02,250 --> 00:37:04,729 Seriously? Has it come to this? Neil! 687 00:37:04,730 --> 00:37:07,289 No, no, no. Listen, listen. (LINE CUTS OFF) 688 00:37:07,290 --> 00:37:09,049 Hello? 689 00:37:09,050 --> 00:37:11,929 Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no 690 00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:13,890 Oh, very mature. (PHONE BLEEPS) 691 00:37:14,770 --> 00:37:17,529 You see this is why you don't get any pizza! 692 00:37:17,530 --> 00:37:19,489 (WHIMPERS) 693 00:37:19,490 --> 00:37:21,130 (CAT PURRING) 694 00:37:21,850 --> 00:37:23,450 (DOOR CREAKING) 695 00:37:34,650 --> 00:37:36,250 (PANTING) 696 00:37:37,250 --> 00:37:38,490 (BANG AT DOOR) 697 00:37:43,970 --> 00:37:45,570 (PANTING) 698 00:37:49,250 --> 00:37:51,210 Well, this is new. Oh... (PANTING) 699 00:37:52,330 --> 00:37:55,249 There's somebody next door. At Bill and Janet's house. 700 00:37:55,250 --> 00:37:57,050 Somebody's broken in! 701 00:37:58,370 --> 00:38:01,170 No they haven't. They have! I heard them. 702 00:38:02,050 --> 00:38:03,930 Heard what? Smashing glass! 703 00:38:05,330 --> 00:38:08,129 It'll be a fox in the greenhouse. No, no, no. 704 00:38:08,130 --> 00:38:11,129 There was a radio I think, like a... (MIMICS RADIO SQUEALING) 705 00:38:11,130 --> 00:38:13,649 Like a... Like a squeal. It'll be a fox. 706 00:38:13,650 --> 00:38:15,609 I-It wasn't a fox! 707 00:38:15,610 --> 00:38:17,449 Come on, we should at least check it out. 708 00:38:17,450 --> 00:38:19,290 We're the Neighbourhood Watch. 709 00:38:20,930 --> 00:38:22,650 Fine! I'll take a look. 710 00:38:25,170 --> 00:38:26,850 Woah, woah, woah, wait for me. 711 00:38:30,170 --> 00:38:31,770 Here we go. 712 00:38:32,570 --> 00:38:34,850 What are you doing? I'm knocking. 713 00:38:35,650 --> 00:38:38,729 Why? Because you think someone's in there. 714 00:38:38,730 --> 00:38:40,529 And if I'm right, it's armed robbers! 715 00:38:40,530 --> 00:38:42,170 What if they answer? 716 00:38:43,170 --> 00:38:46,889 - Well, I don't know! - I thought you were a security expert. 717 00:38:46,890 --> 00:38:50,729 I sell alarms, I don't personally take down criminals. 718 00:38:50,730 --> 00:38:53,690 What you've done there is confuse me with a SWAT team. 719 00:38:54,850 --> 00:38:56,450 Fat lot of good you are. 720 00:38:58,050 --> 00:38:59,690 Well, what would you suggest? 721 00:39:01,370 --> 00:39:02,970 Shh. 722 00:39:06,410 --> 00:39:08,050 BIG BARRY: That's an answerphone. 723 00:39:09,330 --> 00:39:12,609 (GASPS) Not an answerphone, it's... 724 00:39:12,610 --> 00:39:14,729 Oh... 725 00:39:14,730 --> 00:39:16,689 When you used to... LITTLE BARRY: Answer-what? 726 00:39:16,690 --> 00:39:19,370 Have you got cake in your ears? Come on! 727 00:39:20,530 --> 00:39:22,089 We need to call the police. 728 00:39:22,090 --> 00:39:24,729 Ow! Watch the bins! 729 00:39:24,730 --> 00:39:26,770 You wouldn't want to crack it! Not now... 730 00:39:28,570 --> 00:39:30,170 Kill the torch. 731 00:39:33,890 --> 00:39:36,649 I thought you said you'd checked number 8, you lazy git! 732 00:39:36,650 --> 00:39:38,329 I did! 733 00:39:38,330 --> 00:39:41,930 Yeah. What with, your eyes shut? There's someone home. 734 00:39:43,010 --> 00:39:45,129 I'll sort it... 735 00:39:45,130 --> 00:39:46,129 Ooh. Don't tell your mum. Don't tell Mum. 736 00:39:48,090 --> 00:40:03,087 (SNORING) (FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER) 737 00:40:03,087 --> 00:40:04,967 (TAPE RIPS) 738 00:40:10,007 --> 00:40:13,687 Look, I know Christmas is a bit different this year, and I'm sorry. 739 00:40:14,847 --> 00:40:16,367 It's fine. 740 00:40:17,647 --> 00:40:19,247 (SOMBRE MUSIC) 741 00:40:21,687 --> 00:40:24,326 I just think your dad's just having a bit of a wobble. 742 00:40:24,327 --> 00:40:28,006 You know, it's ben a tricky time this year, with the whole 743 00:40:28,007 --> 00:40:30,366 Cause for Alarms business... It's "Causes"... 744 00:40:30,367 --> 00:40:32,447 And I think he just needs some time... 745 00:40:34,127 --> 00:40:36,526 But look, what I do know is that whatever happens, 746 00:40:36,527 --> 00:40:38,527 however this plays out... 747 00:40:39,287 --> 00:40:41,087 ...it's gonna be OK. Alright? 748 00:40:42,367 --> 00:40:44,527 Promise. Yeah. 749 00:40:48,007 --> 00:40:50,766 I think the best thing that you and I can do for Dad right now, 750 00:40:50,767 --> 00:40:52,286 is to give him some space. 751 00:40:52,287 --> 00:40:54,927 Some quiet time, to get his head together. 752 00:40:55,687 --> 00:40:57,966 Burglars! At least two! Maybe more! 753 00:40:57,967 --> 00:40:59,686 Definitely not foxes! 754 00:40:59,687 --> 00:41:02,206 Not foxes! How long will you be? 755 00:41:02,207 --> 00:41:04,166 OK, just please, hurry! (HANGS UP PHONE) 756 00:41:04,167 --> 00:41:06,406 Wish it was foxes... The police are on their way. 757 00:41:06,407 --> 00:41:08,526 They just said stay in the house. keep out of sight. 758 00:41:08,527 --> 00:41:10,726 No one will even know we're in here. (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 759 00:41:10,727 --> 00:41:13,487 LITTLE BARRY: I know you're in there.(BOTH GASP) 760 00:41:14,247 --> 00:41:15,847 (PLAYFUL MUSIC) 761 00:41:22,447 --> 00:41:24,047 (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 762 00:41:29,047 --> 00:41:31,607 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) (PHONE BLEEPS) 763 00:41:48,247 --> 00:41:51,126 Oi, are you letting me in, or are we gonna play a game? 764 00:41:51,127 --> 00:41:53,926 Oh, no... (GASPS) 765 00:41:53,927 --> 00:41:55,567 Woah! 766 00:41:56,487 --> 00:41:58,566 Little Barry Brennan! 767 00:41:58,567 --> 00:42:00,846 - Who? - The Brennans. "The Devils of Davenport"? 768 00:42:00,847 --> 00:42:03,727 Don't you read the papers? Oh no, I mean, not so much. 769 00:42:04,727 --> 00:42:06,686 Local crime family. Hard as nails. 770 00:42:06,687 --> 00:42:08,606 And that out there is the big one. 771 00:42:08,607 --> 00:42:10,246 What? "Little Barry" is the big one? 772 00:42:10,247 --> 00:42:12,326 Yes. Son of Big Barry. How big's Big Barry? 773 00:42:12,327 --> 00:42:14,926 Oh, he's tiny. It's very confusing. But they're psychopaths, 774 00:42:14,927 --> 00:42:17,086 - the lot of them! - You know, for a home security expert, 775 00:42:17,087 --> 00:42:20,486 you are not massively reassuring. Come on, you don't wanna wind me up. 776 00:42:20,487 --> 00:42:22,046 Last warning! 777 00:42:22,047 --> 00:42:24,166 Security! It's an X-50! 778 00:42:24,167 --> 00:42:25,686 What is? The front door. 779 00:42:25,687 --> 00:42:27,246 I fitted an X-50, top of the range! 780 00:42:27,247 --> 00:42:31,446 That is a double-skinned, reinforced, tri-bar, steel trough rim lock door, 781 00:42:31,447 --> 00:42:33,646 with a 12-point dog latch and a five-lever mortice. 782 00:42:33,647 --> 00:42:35,607 A whole army couldn't get through that thing! 783 00:42:38,967 --> 00:42:41,446 (DOOR BANGS) Did you leave it on the latch? 784 00:42:41,447 --> 00:42:43,127 I think you know the answer to that. 785 00:42:50,647 --> 00:42:52,247 I know you're here! 786 00:43:02,047 --> 00:43:03,847 To the safe room. Oh, you beauty. 787 00:43:04,527 --> 00:43:06,127 (PLAYFUL MUSIC) 788 00:43:09,967 --> 00:43:11,847 Mind the stairs! (THUD) 789 00:43:13,287 --> 00:43:15,326 Wait! My phone! 790 00:43:15,327 --> 00:43:16,967 Leave it! 791 00:43:25,687 --> 00:43:28,206 Quick! Lock it! It doesn't lock. 792 00:43:28,207 --> 00:43:30,086 I thought this was the "safe room"? 793 00:43:30,087 --> 00:43:32,767 No, it's the room that we keep the safe in. 794 00:43:33,887 --> 00:43:37,126 (SIGHS) You have got to be kidding me. 795 00:43:37,127 --> 00:43:39,486 Are you sure you're in - home security? - Are you sure you know 796 00:43:39,487 --> 00:43:41,847 what home security means? - Hello? - Shh, shh, shh. 797 00:43:55,487 --> 00:43:57,087 (PHONE CHIMES) 798 00:44:12,127 --> 00:44:13,727 (CHUCKLES) 799 00:44:15,087 --> 00:44:16,687 (PHONE WHOOSHES) 800 00:44:18,767 --> 00:44:20,366 (PHONE CRACKS) 801 00:44:20,367 --> 00:44:22,007 (PHONE BUZZES, CHIMES) 802 00:44:26,887 --> 00:44:28,646 (TENSE MUSIC) 803 00:44:28,647 --> 00:44:30,247 Little pig... 804 00:44:31,127 --> 00:44:32,727 Little pig... 805 00:44:34,167 --> 00:44:35,767 Let me come in. 806 00:44:36,847 --> 00:44:38,446 He's on the stairs. 807 00:44:38,447 --> 00:44:40,087 Stop hiding, little pig. 808 00:44:40,967 --> 00:44:42,726 Where the hell are the cops? 809 00:44:42,727 --> 00:44:46,367 The average police response time is 16.4 minutes. 810 00:44:47,487 --> 00:44:49,126 It's a good stat for sales. 811 00:44:49,127 --> 00:44:51,126 It's not a good stat for us! 812 00:44:51,127 --> 00:44:53,606 What have you got - that could be a weapon? - Nothing. 813 00:44:53,607 --> 00:44:58,047 It's a spare room. Just caps, alarms, a big box of mugs. 814 00:45:00,887 --> 00:45:04,127 Little pig, little pig... 815 00:45:06,527 --> 00:45:08,886 Hang on... "Little pig". 816 00:45:08,887 --> 00:45:11,806 What? Not "little pigs", "little pig". 817 00:45:11,807 --> 00:45:14,006 Singular. So? 818 00:45:14,007 --> 00:45:15,847 He thinks there's only one of us. 819 00:45:17,567 --> 00:45:21,206 Come on little pig... Don't make me blow it down. 820 00:45:21,207 --> 00:45:23,886 OK! OK, I give up. 821 00:45:23,887 --> 00:45:25,967 Just open the door. It's not locked. 822 00:45:30,767 --> 00:45:33,647 Just take what you want. I don't want any trouble. 823 00:45:34,327 --> 00:45:36,766 Sorry mate, you've seen my face now. 824 00:45:36,767 --> 00:45:38,446 No. No, I haven't. 825 00:45:38,447 --> 00:45:42,566 I can't see anything, I'm blind. Yeah, right. 826 00:45:42,567 --> 00:45:45,686 What do I look like, some sort of- 827 00:45:45,687 --> 00:45:47,327 (MUGS SHATTER) 828 00:45:49,207 --> 00:45:51,166 "Mug"? Did you get him? 829 00:45:51,167 --> 00:45:52,726 Yup! - Yes! - Come on! 830 00:45:52,727 --> 00:45:54,367 ♪ Run Rudolph Run ♪ 831 00:46:00,007 --> 00:46:01,607 Mind the stairs! Oh! 832 00:46:05,767 --> 00:46:07,486 ♪ Run, run, Rudolph 833 00:46:07,487 --> 00:46:09,567 ♪ Santa ain't too far behind... 834 00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:13,566 We need to leg it. Grab hold. 835 00:46:13,567 --> 00:46:15,207 (BOTH WHIMPERING) 836 00:46:15,967 --> 00:46:17,846 What's happening? Oh, more Brennans. 837 00:46:17,847 --> 00:46:19,887 Change of plan. We need to hide. 838 00:46:21,247 --> 00:46:22,847 In the Sierra! 839 00:46:23,887 --> 00:46:25,566 Woo! Get in! 840 00:46:25,567 --> 00:46:27,207 Owwww! 841 00:46:30,607 --> 00:46:34,807 ♪ Said Santa to a boy, "Child, what have you been longing for?" 842 00:46:37,287 --> 00:46:40,967 ♪ "All I want for Christmas is a rock and roll electric guitar" 843 00:46:42,807 --> 00:46:44,966 ♪ And then away went Rudolph... 844 00:46:44,967 --> 00:46:46,206 (DISTANT SIREN WAILING) 845 00:46:46,207 --> 00:46:47,566 Oh... What's that noise? 846 00:46:47,567 --> 00:46:48,926 I don't know. 847 00:46:48,927 --> 00:46:50,966 Oh God, I'm going to die in a Sierra. 848 00:46:50,967 --> 00:46:52,607 (SIREN WAILING) 849 00:47:05,327 --> 00:47:06,927 (BOTH GRUNTING) 850 00:47:09,247 --> 00:47:11,366 Oh, thank God. Woah, woah, woah! 851 00:47:11,367 --> 00:47:14,606 Let's actually wait until they've arrested the big angry man 852 00:47:14,607 --> 00:47:17,327 who wants to kill us, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 853 00:47:21,527 --> 00:47:23,206 It really must be Christmas. 854 00:47:23,207 --> 00:47:25,647 They've only gone and sent the PCSOs. 855 00:47:26,367 --> 00:47:29,047 "Hobby Bobbies". "Hobby Bobbies"? 856 00:47:42,087 --> 00:47:43,287 I'll call for back up. 857 00:47:47,047 --> 00:47:48,806 Merry Christmas, officers. 858 00:47:48,807 --> 00:47:53,167 Evening sir. We received a report of a disturbance at this address. 859 00:47:53,967 --> 00:47:56,287 Someone heard something being smashed. 860 00:47:57,007 --> 00:47:59,406 Did they? Smashed, you say. 861 00:47:59,407 --> 00:48:02,766 Um, well, no, no. 862 00:48:02,767 --> 00:48:05,566 It's probably nothing sir, but perhaps we could just pop in 863 00:48:05,567 --> 00:48:07,766 and check your windows? Make sure you're safe. 864 00:48:07,767 --> 00:48:12,926 Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no... 865 00:48:12,927 --> 00:48:16,007 because... (OBJECTS CLATTERING) 866 00:48:17,047 --> 00:48:18,647 Oh! 867 00:48:20,727 --> 00:48:23,006 Good evening, officers. 868 00:48:23,007 --> 00:48:24,566 That's my lady wife. 869 00:48:24,567 --> 00:48:26,366 Bit of a collision. 870 00:48:26,367 --> 00:48:28,206 No lights, you see. 871 00:48:28,207 --> 00:48:30,086 Are you alright to be here on your own? 872 00:48:30,087 --> 00:48:34,406 - Absolutely. - Yep. What with no lights, no heating? 873 00:48:34,407 --> 00:48:37,926 Yeah, no, well, what it is actually is we're not actually staying here 874 00:48:37,927 --> 00:48:40,406 because our daughter is on her way. 875 00:48:40,407 --> 00:48:42,047 From Frome. 876 00:48:42,727 --> 00:48:47,727 Yes. So, we're going to stay with them until the 27th or 28th. 877 00:48:48,407 --> 00:48:50,646 In Frome. Or the 29th. 878 00:48:50,647 --> 00:48:52,926 Then we shall be coming home. 879 00:48:52,927 --> 00:48:54,406 BOTH: From Frome. 880 00:48:54,407 --> 00:48:57,126 Well, if you're sure you're OK? 881 00:48:57,127 --> 00:48:58,886 Yes, fine. Very happy. 882 00:48:58,887 --> 00:49:00,967 Fine, thank you. Very... Yes. 883 00:49:03,407 --> 00:49:05,487 Merry Christmas! Ta-ta. 884 00:49:08,727 --> 00:49:10,327 I'll tell you what... Huh? 885 00:49:11,407 --> 00:49:14,086 The Sarge knocks off at 6:00, lives on Rowan Avenue. 886 00:49:14,087 --> 00:49:16,766 I'll ask him to swing by on his way home, check everything's OK. 887 00:49:16,767 --> 00:49:18,366 Oh, no. That's fine. There's no need. 888 00:49:18,367 --> 00:49:21,486 He might be a bit tipsy, but he won't mind at all. 889 00:49:21,487 --> 00:49:23,606 Merry Christmas, take care. Merry Christmas! 890 00:49:23,607 --> 00:49:25,007 BOTH: Merry Christmas! 891 00:49:31,527 --> 00:49:33,766 The... The police are leaving! 892 00:49:33,767 --> 00:49:35,567 What? Well, stop them then! 893 00:49:37,447 --> 00:49:39,606 Ah! It won't unlock! 894 00:49:39,607 --> 00:49:41,446 Oh... This is a terrible car! 895 00:49:41,447 --> 00:49:43,806 Hang on! Wait! Wait! 896 00:49:43,807 --> 00:49:47,047 Here. Try mine! It's central locking! It won't... 897 00:49:48,047 --> 00:49:49,686 You've got your hand on the... Ow! 898 00:49:49,687 --> 00:49:51,366 (DOORS UNLOCK) 899 00:49:51,367 --> 00:49:54,086 (GASPS) 900 00:49:54,087 --> 00:49:55,886 He's back! Who is? Big Barry? 901 00:49:55,887 --> 00:49:57,807 No, Little Barry: the big one. 902 00:49:59,687 --> 00:50:01,606 We need to get out of here. 903 00:50:01,607 --> 00:50:04,846 I say we make a run for it. With the whackjob Waltons out there? 904 00:50:04,847 --> 00:50:06,846 No, thank you. Well, what shall we do then? 905 00:50:06,847 --> 00:50:09,046 I don't know. 906 00:50:09,047 --> 00:50:10,966 (GASPS) 907 00:50:10,967 --> 00:50:14,926 I don't suppose this rust bucket has got airbags and an alarm, does it? 908 00:50:14,927 --> 00:50:17,966 It's got all the extras. It's a top of the range rust bucket. 909 00:50:17,967 --> 00:50:19,526 I've got an idea... 910 00:50:19,527 --> 00:50:21,167 (SNEAKY MUSIC) 911 00:50:27,007 --> 00:50:28,766 (ALARM BLARING) 912 00:50:28,767 --> 00:50:33,007 BIG BARRY: (OVER RADIO) Whatever - that is, shut it up! - I'll sort it. 913 00:50:39,567 --> 00:50:41,167 Gotcha. 914 00:50:51,087 --> 00:50:55,926 ♪ We're walking in the air 915 00:50:55,927 --> 00:50:59,926 ♪ We're floating in the moonlit sky... ♪ 916 00:50:59,927 --> 00:51:01,927 Snow escape, bozo! 917 00:51:05,207 --> 00:51:06,807 (GRUNTING) 918 00:51:08,927 --> 00:51:10,646 Is he secure? 919 00:51:10,647 --> 00:51:12,366 Yes! 920 00:51:12,367 --> 00:51:14,446 Quick, in the shed. (MUFFLED YELLING) 921 00:51:14,447 --> 00:51:17,246 I'm just saying that if we leave a couple of houses, that would- 922 00:51:17,247 --> 00:51:19,646 ...defeat the object. We go big or go home... 923 00:51:19,647 --> 00:51:22,166 And we're not going home. Ash, bring the van round. 924 00:51:22,167 --> 00:51:24,006 But we've got the dibble at 6:00. 925 00:51:24,007 --> 00:51:25,846 I don't think we've got enough time. 926 00:51:25,847 --> 00:51:27,487 Then we split up. 927 00:51:28,407 --> 00:51:30,327 What, over this? (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 928 00:51:31,327 --> 00:51:34,087 I don't want to. I love you, Stace. 929 00:51:37,047 --> 00:51:39,206 No. I mean I'll take this end with Fanny-Anne, 930 00:51:39,207 --> 00:51:41,246 and you boys take number five. 931 00:51:41,247 --> 00:51:43,527 Oh, right. Ooh, the big telly! 932 00:51:44,327 --> 00:51:46,326 Yeah, I'll get the big telly. On your own? 933 00:51:46,327 --> 00:51:48,446 It's the same size as you. (RADIO CRACKLES) 934 00:51:48,447 --> 00:51:51,887 Junior, can you get backside over to number five please? 935 00:51:52,967 --> 00:51:55,567 Your dad's about to wreck a very nice television. 936 00:51:59,047 --> 00:52:02,086 We're here, in you go. (LAUGHS GLEEFULLY) 937 00:52:02,087 --> 00:52:04,207 Ah, yes! Watch your head. 938 00:52:05,607 --> 00:52:08,166 What now? Yeah, well, I was just thinking that. 939 00:52:08,167 --> 00:52:11,126 Right, my plan would be... to wait here... 940 00:52:11,127 --> 00:52:14,207 Right? Until it gets light. 941 00:52:16,647 --> 00:52:20,326 That's it? That's your plan? They're out there ransacking 942 00:52:20,327 --> 00:52:22,646 our entire street and you just want to hide in here? 943 00:52:22,647 --> 00:52:25,326 We need to do something. We are the Neighbourhood Watch. 944 00:52:25,327 --> 00:52:29,046 Exactly. Neighbourhood "Watch". It's not Neighbourhood "Do", is it? 945 00:52:29,047 --> 00:52:31,086 And even if it was, we've done plenty. 946 00:52:31,087 --> 00:52:33,526 We phoned the police, for all the good they were, and we have 947 00:52:33,527 --> 00:52:35,606 gaffer-taped a thug to a Sierra. I think we've done 948 00:52:35,607 --> 00:52:37,966 more than our fair share, and now its time 949 00:52:37,967 --> 00:52:40,126 for a little self preservation, thank you very much. 950 00:52:40,127 --> 00:52:42,606 But our neighbours- Are insured! And will completely 951 00:52:42,607 --> 00:52:45,247 understand our desire to remain alive. 952 00:52:46,287 --> 00:52:47,887 (SIGHS) Fine. 953 00:52:48,927 --> 00:52:51,926 OK. If you can live with that. 954 00:52:51,927 --> 00:52:53,727 Yeah. I can. 955 00:52:54,567 --> 00:52:56,647 Ooh, I can see the headlines now: 956 00:52:57,967 --> 00:53:03,407 "Security expert hides in shed while own street ransacked". Ha, yeah. 957 00:53:04,967 --> 00:53:06,846 That wouldn't be a headline. It's too long. 958 00:53:06,847 --> 00:53:09,686 "Alarm Coward's Shed Shame". 959 00:53:09,687 --> 00:53:12,166 (CHUCKLES) Yeah, that's better. 960 00:53:12,167 --> 00:53:14,447 Ooh, he'd probably frame it, you know... 961 00:53:15,687 --> 00:53:17,287 In his shop. 962 00:53:20,447 --> 00:53:22,047 Graham. 963 00:53:24,007 --> 00:53:25,607 We need a plan. 964 00:53:27,207 --> 00:53:29,447 (EXCITING MUSIC) 965 00:53:41,887 --> 00:53:45,126 BIG BARRY: Come on. Come to Daddy. 966 00:53:45,127 --> 00:53:47,246 Resistance is futile. 967 00:53:47,247 --> 00:53:49,246 (DOOR CLOSES) 968 00:53:49,247 --> 00:53:51,046 Oh, finally! 969 00:53:51,047 --> 00:53:55,407 Come give us a hand son. Or maybe you could give us a hand? 970 00:53:57,487 --> 00:54:00,807 In fact, make it both of them. 971 00:54:02,607 --> 00:54:03,967 Who the hell are you? 972 00:54:05,087 --> 00:54:06,687 BOTH: Neighbourhood Watch. 973 00:54:08,447 --> 00:54:11,087 Blimey. You lot got serious. 974 00:54:12,367 --> 00:54:15,046 Cuff him, Rocco. Um, yeah. 975 00:54:15,047 --> 00:54:17,607 Do you think it would be better if maybe you... 976 00:54:19,127 --> 00:54:21,246 Actually, yeah. 977 00:54:21,247 --> 00:54:23,447 I'll cuff him. You cover him. 978 00:54:37,647 --> 00:54:40,007 Keep still sunshine. 979 00:54:45,407 --> 00:54:47,726 This doesn't need to hurt. (GRUNTS) 980 00:54:47,727 --> 00:54:50,847 (YELPS) (GRUNTING) 981 00:54:52,007 --> 00:54:54,246 (BOTH GROANING) 982 00:54:54,247 --> 00:54:56,526 Grab him! Get him off me! Gah! 983 00:54:56,527 --> 00:54:58,366 Grab him! 984 00:54:58,367 --> 00:55:00,007 (HEROIC MUSIC) 985 00:55:01,847 --> 00:55:04,486 (YELLS) 986 00:55:04,487 --> 00:55:06,446 I've got him! I've got him! 987 00:55:06,447 --> 00:55:09,847 No, I've got him! No! He's got me. I've got him! 988 00:55:10,567 --> 00:55:13,166 LAURA: There's nothing there. Well, she's deleted it now, 989 00:55:13,167 --> 00:55:14,886 but you could see Dad's Sierra 990 00:55:14,887 --> 00:55:17,046 Well, there are other Sierra's in the world. 991 00:55:17,047 --> 00:55:20,566 Not in that condition. And he's used the wrong "your". 992 00:55:20,567 --> 00:55:22,366 He's put "your" instead of "you are". 993 00:55:22,367 --> 00:55:25,086 Chloe, he says he's fine. The last thing we need is another 994 00:55:25,087 --> 00:55:28,286 delusional neurotic in the family. Just... stop fretting. 995 00:55:28,287 --> 00:55:30,486 Ah, forget it. Chloe... 996 00:55:30,487 --> 00:55:32,487 (TENSE MUSIC) 997 00:55:34,367 --> 00:55:36,886 STACEY: Looks like we've got ourselves some witnesses 998 00:55:36,887 --> 00:55:40,086 I've seen nothing. I'd make a terrible witness me, awful. 999 00:55:40,087 --> 00:55:42,686 I don't know who any of you are. Seriously? 1000 00:55:42,687 --> 00:55:45,887 You're cosying up to the Brennans. Well, he knows who we are now. 1001 00:55:46,687 --> 00:55:50,206 Oh, brilliant. Another masterclass from the so called expert. 1002 00:55:50,207 --> 00:55:52,006 Expert at what? 1003 00:55:52,007 --> 00:55:54,287 Evidently nothing. (BOTH GROAN) 1004 00:55:55,247 --> 00:55:57,086 Cause for Alarms? 1005 00:55:57,087 --> 00:55:58,926 (WEAKLY) Causes. 1006 00:55:58,927 --> 00:56:01,006 You didn't tell me these were branded! 1007 00:56:01,007 --> 00:56:02,526 Shut up, Graham! 1008 00:56:02,527 --> 00:56:04,166 Eh? Graham? 1009 00:56:04,167 --> 00:56:06,446 One of your cameras... 1010 00:56:06,447 --> 00:56:10,767 put me behind bars for three years, Neil. 1011 00:56:11,647 --> 00:56:14,766 I can only apologise for the excellent resolution. 1012 00:56:14,767 --> 00:56:17,646 No apology necessary. 1013 00:56:17,647 --> 00:56:20,327 It makes all this a lot easier. 1014 00:56:21,287 --> 00:56:27,127 So, shall we get started? 1015 00:56:28,927 --> 00:56:31,407 We've only got a few hours, they're going nowhere. 1016 00:56:32,207 --> 00:56:35,966 You're right. Let's finish the job, then we'll finish them. 1017 00:56:35,967 --> 00:56:37,687 I'll be back. 1018 00:56:39,407 --> 00:56:42,366 Right, I'll take this telly. (STRAINING) Come here love. 1019 00:56:42,367 --> 00:56:44,927 Oh, yeah. 1020 00:56:47,127 --> 00:56:49,007 Oh, quality, that. 1021 00:56:49,967 --> 00:56:52,726 Friend of yours? Not really. 1022 00:56:52,727 --> 00:56:55,087 Shame... You'll be seeing him soon. 1023 00:57:04,684 --> 00:57:06,284 (LIGHT FESTIVE MUSIC) 1024 00:57:51,004 --> 00:57:53,443 We could be in a nice warm shed now. 1025 00:57:53,444 --> 00:57:55,123 Sitting pretty. 1026 00:57:55,124 --> 00:57:59,203 But oh, no, you had to act the big hero. 1027 00:57:59,204 --> 00:58:02,803 Me?! None of this would have happened if you hadn't tried 1028 00:58:02,804 --> 00:58:05,843 to blow up the whole street. Well, I had to try something 1029 00:58:05,844 --> 00:58:09,003 after you'd turned the whole neighbourhood against me. 1030 00:58:09,004 --> 00:58:11,803 Oh, I think you did that all on your own, mate. 1031 00:58:11,804 --> 00:58:13,764 Don't you "mate" me! 1032 00:58:14,644 --> 00:58:19,083 Everything was fine until you moved in with your weird little vendetta. 1033 00:58:19,084 --> 00:58:23,763 No one gave a damn about my Sierra until you started stirring things up. 1034 00:58:23,764 --> 00:58:29,043 I mean, why? You can't even see it! Why does it matter to you 1035 00:58:29,044 --> 00:58:31,884 what I put on my own front drive- It wasn't me! 1036 00:58:34,484 --> 00:58:37,604 What? It wasn't me... 1037 00:58:38,964 --> 00:58:40,844 ...who complained about the car. 1038 00:58:42,444 --> 00:58:43,564 It was John. 1039 00:58:47,564 --> 00:58:49,884 He said he got sick of it sitting there rusting away. 1040 00:58:51,084 --> 00:58:53,004 It was him that phoned the council. 1041 00:58:54,764 --> 00:58:56,364 Why didn't... 1042 00:58:57,644 --> 00:58:59,843 Well, why didn't you say something before? 1043 00:58:59,844 --> 00:59:01,724 I thought about it... 1044 00:59:03,684 --> 00:59:05,284 ...but you've seen it. 1045 00:59:06,404 --> 00:59:08,004 How people are with me. 1046 00:59:08,844 --> 00:59:10,563 Yeah, they're nice. 1047 00:59:10,564 --> 00:59:13,043 Bringing in your shopping, taking you to the pub, 1048 00:59:13,044 --> 00:59:15,324 helping with your lights... 1049 00:59:16,444 --> 00:59:17,724 It's kind is it? 1050 00:59:18,604 --> 00:59:20,204 And why are they so nice? 1051 00:59:22,084 --> 00:59:23,444 Is it cos I'm nice? 1052 00:59:27,164 --> 00:59:30,604 People just treat you different when you're... different. 1053 00:59:32,604 --> 00:59:35,203 Well, not everyone. I mean, Suki always took people 1054 00:59:35,204 --> 00:59:38,364 as she found them. Who the hell's Suki? 1055 00:59:39,764 --> 00:59:41,803 My wife... 1056 00:59:41,804 --> 00:59:44,204 Well, late wife. 1057 00:59:45,124 --> 00:59:46,724 (ANGELIC MUSIC) 1058 00:59:49,164 --> 00:59:51,764 She was funny, warm. 1059 00:59:52,924 --> 00:59:54,524 But straight-talking. 1060 00:59:55,564 --> 00:59:56,844 My daughter's the same. 1061 00:59:59,044 --> 01:00:00,644 Oh. I- Holly. 1062 01:00:01,644 --> 01:00:03,643 She's studying Law at Leeds. 1063 01:00:03,644 --> 01:00:06,284 That's why I moved here. Just to be a bit closer. 1064 01:00:08,124 --> 01:00:11,083 And don't get me wrong, they're nice around here. 1065 01:00:11,084 --> 01:00:13,243 But I could take a dump in their living room, 1066 01:00:13,244 --> 01:00:15,803 and they'd be like, "Oh, don't worry about that, that's OK." 1067 01:00:15,804 --> 01:00:18,724 they were gonna let me run the Neighbourhood Watch, for God's sake. 1068 01:00:20,964 --> 01:00:24,284 You can almost smell the sympathy sometimes... But not you. 1069 01:00:25,324 --> 01:00:27,284 You didn't give a toss. 1070 01:00:28,124 --> 01:00:30,283 I mean in my defence, I've been going through 1071 01:00:30,284 --> 01:00:32,563 quite a bad time over the last few months 1072 01:00:32,564 --> 01:00:34,203 No, it's good. 1073 01:00:34,204 --> 01:00:37,524 I think I need it, a bit of that, now it's just me. 1074 01:00:39,444 --> 01:00:42,203 (SIGHS) So, maybe I let you think the worst of me. 1075 01:00:42,204 --> 01:00:45,444 Kept things a bit difficult between us. Like a guarantee. 1076 01:00:46,324 --> 01:00:48,803 That I'd always be that git over the road... 1077 01:00:48,804 --> 01:00:51,603 and you'd never start talking to me like I'm the poor blind guy 1078 01:00:51,604 --> 01:00:54,203 from number 3. Because I'm not, you know. 1079 01:00:54,204 --> 01:00:57,044 I am Scott Patrick Dixon, and I nicked your bin. 1080 01:00:57,724 --> 01:00:59,204 I bloody knew it! 1081 01:01:04,764 --> 01:01:06,364 (ANGELIC MUSIC) 1082 01:01:09,964 --> 01:01:11,444 Sorry you lost your wife. 1083 01:01:14,204 --> 01:01:16,484 (SIGHS) Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it. 1084 01:01:23,604 --> 01:01:25,563 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 1085 01:01:25,564 --> 01:01:27,844 Right. Push against me. 1086 01:01:28,604 --> 01:01:31,603 What's happening? We are getting out of here. 1087 01:01:31,604 --> 01:01:33,963 Oh, now you're talking! On 3... 1088 01:01:33,964 --> 01:01:35,403 2... BOTH: 1! 1089 01:01:35,404 --> 01:01:37,044 (BOTH YELLING) 1090 01:01:39,604 --> 01:01:42,044 Right. Now bounce to your right. OK! 1091 01:01:43,444 --> 01:01:45,923 What are you doing? Well, your right or my right? 1092 01:01:45,924 --> 01:01:47,923 No, no! Not my right. Your left! 1093 01:01:47,924 --> 01:01:49,843 Sorry. How far? 1094 01:01:49,844 --> 01:01:52,284 Oh, follow me, just... This isn't working! 1095 01:01:53,924 --> 01:01:55,843 (BOTH PANTING) 1096 01:01:55,844 --> 01:01:58,523 I think we can burn through the cable ties, but... 1097 01:01:58,524 --> 01:02:01,523 Do you think you can catch a lighter? I'm a pretty good catch mate. 1098 01:02:01,524 --> 01:02:03,443 I play a bit of cricket. But you're... 1099 01:02:03,444 --> 01:02:04,804 Yeah, I know. It's a thing. 1100 01:02:05,684 --> 01:02:07,643 OK. Here we go then, 1101 01:02:07,644 --> 01:02:10,003 Right. - Ready? - Yep... 1102 01:02:10,004 --> 01:02:11,644 Now! 1103 01:02:12,524 --> 01:02:14,043 Well, did you catch it? 1104 01:02:14,044 --> 01:02:16,163 Oh it was very wide... 1105 01:02:16,164 --> 01:02:18,843 but, luckily, one of us is a professional! 1106 01:02:18,844 --> 01:02:21,164 Oh, you little beaut! 1107 01:02:22,124 --> 01:02:23,484 Stay still. 1108 01:02:25,684 --> 01:02:27,964 Oh! (BOTH PANTING) 1109 01:02:28,804 --> 01:02:31,164 Right. They said a few hours. 1110 01:02:31,844 --> 01:02:34,524 Which means we haven't got long. Do you think it's enough time? 1111 01:02:35,764 --> 01:02:39,283 Maybe. If we just... you know, work together. 1112 01:02:39,284 --> 01:02:40,803 I'm game if you are. 1113 01:02:40,804 --> 01:02:42,883 Do you reckon we could get them back to my place? 1114 01:02:42,884 --> 01:02:45,763 I've got a few ideas but it would need to be on home turf, 1115 01:02:45,764 --> 01:02:49,124 where I know my way around. Back to yours it is. Oh, and... 1116 01:02:49,924 --> 01:02:53,283 ...while we're being honest, that postman, the other day... 1117 01:02:53,284 --> 01:02:55,084 that was me. 1118 01:02:55,884 --> 01:02:57,244 How stupid do you think I am? 1119 01:02:58,404 --> 01:02:59,763 I know more about what's going on 1120 01:02:59,764 --> 01:03:01,404 around me than you will ever realise. 1121 01:03:04,004 --> 01:03:07,004 Oh! What are you doing? Eh! Eh! 1122 01:03:07,884 --> 01:03:09,643 Get off! Idiot! 1123 01:03:09,644 --> 01:03:11,284 (EXCITING MUSIC) 1124 01:03:28,204 --> 01:03:29,804 (DRILL WHIRRING) 1125 01:03:31,004 --> 01:03:33,323 All we need now is some burglars. 1126 01:03:33,324 --> 01:03:34,723 (DRILL WHIRRS) 1127 01:03:34,724 --> 01:03:36,364 (SNORING) 1128 01:03:37,164 --> 01:03:39,203 (GRUNTING) Shh! Shh! 1129 01:03:39,204 --> 01:03:41,803 Shh... Listen, Little Barry. 1130 01:03:41,804 --> 01:03:45,084 If we take this out your mouth, do you promise not to scream? 1131 01:03:46,044 --> 01:03:47,644 OK. 1132 01:03:49,764 --> 01:03:52,964 Mum-m-m-m! 1133 01:03:55,804 --> 01:03:57,523 Alright, I owe you a tenner. 1134 01:03:57,524 --> 01:04:00,244 Oi, you two. Go find him! 1135 01:04:01,804 --> 01:04:03,404 ♪ RAY CHARLES: Mess Around ♪ 1136 01:04:11,004 --> 01:04:12,124 BIG BARRY: There! 1137 01:04:16,964 --> 01:04:18,564 Son? (GRUNTING) 1138 01:04:22,924 --> 01:04:24,644 Barry? 1139 01:04:26,404 --> 01:04:28,763 (YELLS) (SCREAMS) 1140 01:04:28,764 --> 01:04:31,763 I'm blind! Join the club. 1141 01:04:31,764 --> 01:04:34,283 Where's the walkie? I can't find it! (GRUNTS) 1142 01:04:34,284 --> 01:04:35,883 (SCREAMS) This way big man. 1143 01:04:35,884 --> 01:04:38,324 Try not to be so clumsy. 1144 01:04:39,604 --> 01:04:42,884 Dad down, number three. Come here! 1145 01:04:43,764 --> 01:04:45,243 ♪ ..They did the boogie-woogie 1146 01:04:45,244 --> 01:04:46,603 ♪ With a steady roll 1147 01:04:46,604 --> 01:04:48,244 ♪ They mess around 1148 01:04:49,244 --> 01:04:51,204 ♪ They doin' the mess around... ♪ Oi! Come 'ere! 1149 01:04:53,204 --> 01:04:54,843 (SHRIEKS) 1150 01:04:54,844 --> 01:04:56,003 (SCREAMS) 1151 01:04:56,004 --> 01:04:57,843 Come here! No! 1152 01:04:57,844 --> 01:04:59,484 Stop it. Argh! (STRAINING) 1153 01:05:00,524 --> 01:05:02,363 Oh, don't... Here! 1154 01:05:02,364 --> 01:05:04,963 No point struggling. I've done rodeo. (SCREAMS) 1155 01:05:04,964 --> 01:05:06,883 What are you doing?! 1156 01:05:06,884 --> 01:05:08,484 Argh! 1157 01:05:09,364 --> 01:05:12,523 No! What are you doing?! 1158 01:05:12,524 --> 01:05:15,364 Give me my legs. Give me my legs back! 1159 01:05:16,284 --> 01:05:18,843 (LIGHTS PLAYING "Jingle Bells") Dad! Dad! 1160 01:05:18,844 --> 01:05:21,523 Huh?! Dad! Dad! 1161 01:05:21,524 --> 01:05:24,723 OK.Dad... OK.Pull! 1162 01:05:24,724 --> 01:05:26,843 (SHRIEKS) 1163 01:05:26,844 --> 01:05:28,804 Dad? Dad... 1164 01:05:29,684 --> 01:05:30,963 You! (LAUGHS) 1165 01:05:30,964 --> 01:05:32,643 Get me out! (GROANS) 1166 01:05:32,644 --> 01:05:34,684 Dad? Come here, you! 1167 01:05:36,004 --> 01:05:37,643 Dad? Dad! 1168 01:05:37,644 --> 01:05:39,724 (YELLS, THEN GRUNTS) 1169 01:05:44,604 --> 01:05:47,203 Argh! What are you doing?! Taking what's mine! 1170 01:05:47,204 --> 01:05:49,003 Well, Chloe's. 1171 01:05:49,004 --> 01:05:51,163 And stealing something... 1172 01:05:51,164 --> 01:05:54,083 No, no, not my phone! Not my phone! 1173 01:05:54,084 --> 01:05:56,683 You started this! Put it back! 1174 01:05:56,684 --> 01:05:58,323 Put my phone back now! 1175 01:05:58,324 --> 01:06:00,843 What's your code? As if I'd tell you! 1176 01:06:00,844 --> 01:06:03,124 Fine. I'll use your face! (STRAINING) 1177 01:06:08,364 --> 01:06:09,964 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 1178 01:06:16,164 --> 01:06:17,364 (GRUNTS) 1179 01:06:18,564 --> 01:06:19,923 Go get 'em mum! 1180 01:06:19,924 --> 01:06:21,884 Ow! 1181 01:06:29,244 --> 01:06:30,844 ♪ Carol of the Bells ♪ 1182 01:06:36,124 --> 01:06:37,803 (GROANS) 1183 01:06:37,804 --> 01:06:40,244 I know every floorboard in this room. 1184 01:06:41,004 --> 01:06:45,444 Every creak, every crack, every squeak of a nail. 1185 01:06:46,444 --> 01:06:50,284 So why don't you come over here, and try and take this wicket... 1186 01:06:51,324 --> 01:06:53,364 I dare you. 1187 01:07:07,004 --> 01:07:09,163 Ooh! (GROANS) 1188 01:07:09,164 --> 01:07:11,323 (LAUGHS) 1189 01:07:11,324 --> 01:07:12,964 (BONES CRACK) 1190 01:07:14,004 --> 01:07:16,044 (GROWLS) 1191 01:07:25,364 --> 01:07:28,643 Ah! (GROANING) Had enough yet? 1192 01:07:28,644 --> 01:07:31,283 Ahhh... 1193 01:07:31,284 --> 01:07:33,123 (GROANS) 1194 01:07:33,124 --> 01:07:34,843 Mm... I'm waiting. 1195 01:07:34,844 --> 01:07:36,364 (GROWLS) 1196 01:07:54,804 --> 01:07:57,243 (GROANS) 1197 01:07:57,244 --> 01:08:00,043 Couple of googlies? (GROANING) 1198 01:08:00,044 --> 01:08:03,004 (SHRIEKS, THEN GROANS) 1199 01:08:06,564 --> 01:08:08,723 Yes, yes, yes, that's right. 1200 01:08:08,724 --> 01:08:12,124 Yeah, it's 3 Staplethorne Close. 1201 01:08:14,684 --> 01:08:16,483 It's over! 1202 01:08:16,484 --> 01:08:19,763 I'm on the phone to the police right now, so you may as well... 1203 01:08:19,764 --> 01:08:21,404 (PHONE BUZZING) 1204 01:08:25,124 --> 01:08:26,764 (WHISTLES) 1205 01:08:30,084 --> 01:08:33,323 There ain't no one coming to rescue you now, pal. 1206 01:08:33,324 --> 01:08:35,564 It's just you and me 1207 01:08:43,164 --> 01:08:44,924 Where do you think you're going? Narnia? 1208 01:08:46,884 --> 01:08:48,484 (YELLS) 1209 01:09:01,804 --> 01:09:03,443 £200 plus VAT. 1210 01:09:03,444 --> 01:09:05,523 But you can't put a price on peace of mind. 1211 01:09:05,524 --> 01:09:07,964 Oh, and close the door when you're using the bathroom eh? 1212 01:09:10,724 --> 01:09:12,324 (GRUNTING) 1213 01:09:13,364 --> 01:09:14,964 No! 1214 01:09:18,484 --> 01:09:20,084 No! 1215 01:09:21,724 --> 01:09:24,283 I've done my time! 1216 01:09:24,284 --> 01:09:27,844 (SCREAMS) (GLASS SHATTERS) 1217 01:09:30,084 --> 01:09:31,684 (DISTANT THUDDING) 1218 01:09:38,724 --> 01:09:40,963 (GROANS) Mum! Mum! 1219 01:09:40,964 --> 01:09:43,444 Help me, my legs, my legs! 1220 01:09:45,164 --> 01:09:48,683 Scott! Neil! Absolutely smashed it mate. 1221 01:09:48,684 --> 01:09:50,883 That was amazing! Is there anything we can't do?! 1222 01:09:50,884 --> 01:09:53,923 High five! Yeah! 1223 01:09:53,924 --> 01:09:55,563 Help me... 1224 01:09:55,564 --> 01:09:57,483 Barry is that you? Give us a hand. 1225 01:09:57,484 --> 01:10:00,804 Would you... Everyone just like to stop talking at once, please? 1226 01:10:05,804 --> 01:10:07,404 Are you alright? Hm! 1227 01:10:10,564 --> 01:10:12,404 No, no, no! (YELLS) 1228 01:10:16,084 --> 01:10:18,083 (GROANS) 1229 01:10:18,084 --> 01:10:20,364 You stay with her. I'll get the van. 1230 01:10:21,684 --> 01:10:23,324 We're getting out of here. 1231 01:10:25,644 --> 01:10:27,363 It's the mum. She's getting away! 1232 01:10:27,364 --> 01:10:30,964 Oh, no, no, no. Not on our watch. No chance. Come on! 1233 01:10:34,324 --> 01:10:36,004 Get in the car! Oh, not again! 1234 01:10:38,604 --> 01:10:41,524 Hello. It's us again. (GROANS) 1235 01:10:43,324 --> 01:10:45,563 Right, what are we doing? Reversing the car, 1236 01:10:45,564 --> 01:10:49,083 blocking the drive, stopping the van. In-In this thing?! Are you mad? 1237 01:10:49,084 --> 01:10:51,443 This hasn't moved anywhere in years. It's falling apart. 1238 01:10:51,444 --> 01:10:54,843 - Even I can see that! - It'll start. Trust me, it's top of the range. 1239 01:10:54,844 --> 01:10:56,883 (ENGINE TURNING OVER) 1240 01:10:56,884 --> 01:10:59,363 (STRAINS) Well come on, turn it on then! 1241 01:10:59,364 --> 01:11:01,843 (ENGINE TURNING OVER) It'll start! 1242 01:11:01,844 --> 01:11:04,524 Oh, I told ya! John's got more life in him than this car. 1243 01:11:08,044 --> 01:11:10,843 ♪ HOUSE OF PAIN: Jump Around ♪ (GASPS) In your face John! 1244 01:11:10,844 --> 01:11:13,764 Ha-ha! Woo-hoo! 1245 01:11:14,684 --> 01:11:16,363 (YELLING) 1246 01:11:16,364 --> 01:11:19,043 Scott! Grab the wheel! Which way? 1247 01:11:19,044 --> 01:11:21,083 I don't know! Busy getting killed here! 1248 01:11:21,084 --> 01:11:22,444 Woah! 1249 01:11:23,804 --> 01:11:25,683 Put it in first! OK, which way? 1250 01:11:25,684 --> 01:11:27,043 Right! You're right or my right? 1251 01:11:27,044 --> 01:11:28,604 They're both the same! Oh, yeah! 1252 01:11:33,124 --> 01:11:34,724 Reverse! OK, reverse! 1253 01:11:37,484 --> 01:11:38,964 Mind the cat! 1254 01:11:40,524 --> 01:11:41,723 (CAT YOWLS) Argh! 1255 01:11:41,724 --> 01:11:44,043 You told me to steer! Barry's got the wheel! 1256 01:11:44,044 --> 01:11:46,044 I've got the wheel. We've all got the wheel! 1257 01:11:54,324 --> 01:11:55,924 (MUSIC STOPS) 1258 01:12:07,244 --> 01:12:09,483 (TYRES SCREECHING) 1259 01:12:09,484 --> 01:12:11,364 (SCREAMING) 1260 01:12:15,124 --> 01:12:17,124 Mum-m-m! (SCREAMS) 1261 01:12:19,284 --> 01:12:20,804 (HORN HONKING) 1262 01:12:23,124 --> 01:12:25,284 (GROANS) 1263 01:12:31,084 --> 01:12:33,124 (BOTH YELLING) 1264 01:12:34,284 --> 01:12:37,523 (SCREAMS) 1265 01:12:37,524 --> 01:12:39,564 (GROANS) 1266 01:12:42,964 --> 01:12:44,003 (GRUNTS) 1267 01:12:44,004 --> 01:12:45,644 (TENSE MUSIC) 1268 01:12:50,084 --> 01:12:51,684 Well, well, well. 1269 01:12:58,484 --> 01:13:01,244 (GROANING) 1270 01:13:02,084 --> 01:13:04,324 Any last words? Ow... 1271 01:13:05,844 --> 01:13:08,804 It's really hard to think of something when you're under pressure. 1272 01:13:09,644 --> 01:13:12,963 I'll give you Cause for ruddy Alarm! 1273 01:13:12,964 --> 01:13:14,524 (SCREAMING) 1274 01:13:18,004 --> 01:13:19,604 It's "Causes". 1275 01:13:22,724 --> 01:13:24,484 (ANGELIC MUSIC) 1276 01:13:28,324 --> 01:13:30,324 Oh my God! 1277 01:13:33,204 --> 01:13:34,804 That was... 1278 01:13:35,644 --> 01:13:38,443 What are you... I thought you were in trouble. 1279 01:13:38,444 --> 01:13:41,084 (SIGHS) Dad... 1280 01:13:43,444 --> 01:13:45,004 I cut through the park. 1281 01:13:46,204 --> 01:13:47,844 I don't care! 1282 01:13:52,724 --> 01:13:54,243 Chloe, is that you? 1283 01:13:54,244 --> 01:13:55,644 Hi, Scott! 1284 01:13:57,564 --> 01:13:59,084 I think she just saved my life! 1285 01:14:00,004 --> 01:14:04,084 Ha-ha-ha! Have you ever thought of joining the Neighbourhood Watch? 1286 01:14:06,804 --> 01:14:09,323 (LITTLE BARRY SCREAMING, MUFFLED) 1287 01:14:09,324 --> 01:14:12,044 Oh, stick a sponge in it you. 1288 01:14:17,084 --> 01:14:18,684 (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) 1289 01:14:20,564 --> 01:14:22,963 Stay still. Stay still. 1290 01:14:22,964 --> 01:14:25,324 Stay still. You've had a mild concussion. 1291 01:14:26,564 --> 01:14:30,084 Yes, sarge. I can confirm it's all four of the Brennan family. 1292 01:14:33,204 --> 01:14:37,243 ♪ ..All for the little ones' Christmas joys 1293 01:14:37,244 --> 01:14:40,123 Stop, stop, please. Stop! 1294 01:14:40,124 --> 01:14:43,243 Stop! Stop! (SCREAMS) 1295 01:14:43,244 --> 01:14:45,403 Stop it! So it's, uh, Graham? 1296 01:14:45,404 --> 01:14:47,803 No, it's Scott. This is... This isn't mine. 1297 01:14:47,804 --> 01:14:50,404 We, um... - We don't talk about Graham. - OK. 1298 01:14:54,284 --> 01:14:56,163 No way! My dad. 1299 01:14:56,164 --> 01:14:58,443 My daughter. No way! No way! 1300 01:14:58,444 --> 01:15:02,203 That's my phone! That's... my phone! Come on. Come on! 1301 01:15:02,204 --> 01:15:05,443 Stop filming. Stop filming! 1302 01:15:05,444 --> 01:15:08,083 Excuse me, I'd like to report a robbery! 1303 01:15:08,084 --> 01:15:09,803 Come on. 1304 01:15:09,804 --> 01:15:12,043 I know my rights! Do you hear me? 1305 01:15:12,044 --> 01:15:14,043 Get in the van. Come on. 1306 01:15:14,044 --> 01:15:18,844 ♪ ..Down through the chimney with old Saint Nick... ♪ 1307 01:15:19,564 --> 01:15:21,764 At least we're together for Christmas. 1308 01:15:23,004 --> 01:15:26,683 It's Christmas Day, and we are live at Staplethorne Close. 1309 01:15:26,684 --> 01:15:29,203 And I'm joined by... Scott. 1310 01:15:29,204 --> 01:15:32,443 Chloe. Neil Beesley. 1311 01:15:32,444 --> 01:15:34,603 Causes for Alarms. 1312 01:15:34,604 --> 01:15:36,244 Shouldn't it be- No, don't. 1313 01:15:37,204 --> 01:15:39,563 Christmas is indeed a time for giving... 1314 01:15:39,564 --> 01:15:42,364 Chloe! Up you get, we're doing presents. 1315 01:15:44,204 --> 01:15:47,203 Now, tell me Scott, would you describe yourself as a hero? 1316 01:15:47,204 --> 01:15:50,123 I would say that Chloe is the real hero here, er, 1317 01:15:50,124 --> 01:15:52,323 would you say so Neil? Yeah. 1318 01:15:52,324 --> 01:15:55,964 But I think that "Christmas Miracle" - pretty much sums it up. - Mum! 1319 01:15:57,004 --> 01:15:59,523 And do you have a message for our viewers at home? 1320 01:15:59,524 --> 01:16:01,043 Merry Christmas! 1321 01:16:01,044 --> 01:16:02,684 Hi, Holly! 1322 01:16:14,844 --> 01:16:16,243 Chloe? Mum! 1323 01:16:16,244 --> 01:16:18,684 Oh my God! Are you alright?! Yeah, I'm fine. 1324 01:16:33,884 --> 01:16:35,964 I'm sorry. 1325 01:16:48,924 --> 01:16:51,124 I am. I'm really, really sorry. 1326 01:16:51,804 --> 01:16:53,684 You're an idiot. I know. 1327 01:16:56,764 --> 01:16:58,364 But I love you. 1328 01:17:03,564 --> 01:17:06,283 Ow, what's that? Oh. (CHUCKLES) 1329 01:17:06,284 --> 01:17:08,403 I didn't get a chance to wrap it but, uh... 1330 01:17:08,404 --> 01:17:11,283 Ta-da! Thank you! Thank you! 1331 01:17:11,284 --> 01:17:13,684 Oh! Come on, let's go in. 1332 01:17:14,444 --> 01:17:16,403 Why are you dressed like that? Long story. 1333 01:17:16,404 --> 01:17:18,043 I'll tell you over pizza. 1334 01:17:18,044 --> 01:17:19,684 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1335 01:17:23,044 --> 01:17:24,644 Hang on a sec. 1336 01:17:29,724 --> 01:17:31,643 Scott, you were amazing. Thanks so much. 1337 01:17:31,644 --> 01:17:33,963 Thanks Melanie, and Merry Christmas, guys. 1338 01:17:33,964 --> 01:17:35,843 Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas to you too. 1339 01:17:35,844 --> 01:17:37,603 Indeed. Scott... 1340 01:17:37,604 --> 01:17:39,604 Neil. 1341 01:17:40,724 --> 01:17:42,323 I was just wondering, I've, uh... 1342 01:17:42,324 --> 01:17:44,564 It's not very festive, but I've got a... 1343 01:17:45,484 --> 01:17:47,963 ...three-quarters of a room temperature 1344 01:17:47,964 --> 01:17:50,044 pepperoni pizza... Sounds good to me. 1345 01:17:51,564 --> 01:17:53,163 Come on mate, lead the way. 1346 01:17:53,164 --> 01:17:54,804 (GENTLE FESTIVE MUSIC) 1347 01:17:55,804 --> 01:17:57,363 What a night! 1348 01:17:57,364 --> 01:17:59,684 I couldn't have done it without ya. 1349 01:18:00,404 --> 01:18:02,323 Well, I couldn't have done it without you! 1350 01:18:02,324 --> 01:18:03,964 Ha. Yeah, I know. 1351 01:18:05,404 --> 01:18:07,523 Merry Christmas, Scott. 1352 01:18:07,524 --> 01:18:09,164 Merry Christmas, Neil. 1353 01:18:15,084 --> 01:18:16,684 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1354 01:18:42,684 --> 01:18:44,084 Ha-ha! 1355 01:18:44,884 --> 01:18:48,283 Would you like a mince pie? One of mum's specials. 1356 01:18:48,284 --> 01:18:50,563 Oh, lovely. Chloe? Chloe? 1357 01:18:50,564 --> 01:18:53,163 Go on. Try some. Join in. 1358 01:18:53,164 --> 01:18:54,804 Save one for Holly. 1359 01:18:56,404 --> 01:18:59,324 Dad, Sabrina. Did somebody say mistletoe? 1360 01:19:07,284 --> 01:19:10,443 Right everyone, look this way. Big photo. Big poses. 1361 01:19:10,444 --> 01:19:14,484 In 3... ALL: 2, 1... 1362 01:19:15,684 --> 01:19:17,284 Cheers! (ALL EXCLAIM) 1363 01:19:18,564 --> 01:19:20,244 (ALL CHEERING) 1364 01:19:36,804 --> 01:19:39,563 ♪ Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus 1365 01:19:39,564 --> 01:19:42,403 ♪ Right down Santa Claus Lane 1366 01:19:42,404 --> 01:19:45,163 ♪ Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer 1367 01:19:45,164 --> 01:19:48,003 ♪ Are pulling on the reins 1368 01:19:48,004 --> 01:19:50,923 ♪ Bells are ringing, children singing 1369 01:19:50,924 --> 01:19:53,004 ♪ All is merry and bright 1370 01:19:53,724 --> 01:19:56,523 ♪ Hang your stockings and say your prayers 1371 01:19:56,524 --> 01:19:58,724 ♪ Cos Santa Claus comes tonight... ♪ 1372 01:20:03,084 --> 01:20:06,524 Subtitles by Sky Access Services www.skyaccessibility.sky