WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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(upbeat marching music)

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(fire crackling)

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<i>It was the Dark Ages.</i>

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<i>And in the land of Britain,
there lived a mighty queen,</i>

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<i>adored by all her subjects.</i>

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<i>Most of them.</i>

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<i>Some of them.</i>

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<i>Oh, just meet her.
You'll understand.</i>

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- My Queen, enemy force...
- Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh!

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How am I coming out?

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My portrait. And give me
the truth, unvarnished.

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Don't think to
flatter me, Leofwine.

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Maybe the Queen should
judge for herself.

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(dramatic music)

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Well done!
(artist sighs deeply)

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I'll not have your fingers
hacked off today.

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Thank you, my Queen (laughs).

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- Now, how goes the war?
- Ah.

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<i>Oh yes, the war.</i>

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<i>Angered by Dagan's harsh reign,</i>

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<i>the peasants had
risen against her.</i>

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(fire crackling)
<i>From amongst the common folk,</i>

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<i>a rebel champion rose,</i>
(ethereal music)

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<i>a woodcutter
named Humble Joan,</i>

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<i>and Joan had something
the queen did not:</i>

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<i>a secret of great might
called flame-powder.</i>

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(cannons firing)
(armies fighting)

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<i>But Dagan had a plan to
crush the rebellion.</i>

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(cannon blasts)

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The forest archers,
the river clans,

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the spearmen of the fens.

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We... we muster them here.
(explosion outside)

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Are you listening?

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We muster them here and they
shall smash our enemies.

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I- I don't know why you didn't
think of this before.

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My Queen, we can move the
pieces on the map all we like.

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It will not conjure them here.

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The spearmen of the fens
are fallen.

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Well, let them get up again,
the lazy tykes.

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Humph!

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I thought you were going to say
they were dead.

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Oh.
(paper rustles)

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The river clans are
cleft in bits.

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The forest archers turned
and... fight for Humble Joan.

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(large explosion)
(building crumbling)

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I know the illness which gnaws
at your innards.

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MAN: Ow, my fucking leg!

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It's not Humble Joan, no.

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- MAN: Where's it gone?!
- It's fear.

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So, let us lift our spirits
with a - with a banquet!

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(jaunty party music)
(more explosions)

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(soldiers roaring)

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<i>She tramples on the lions,</i>

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<i>She tramples on her foes,</i>

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<i>raises burdensome taxes
on their howling widows.</i>

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Dainty, soft, soft.

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Shut up!

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Come.

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What's this yellow stuff?

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No, let me guess.

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Tumery. Turmer -

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- Meric.
- Turmer...

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BOTH: Turmeric.
- You please me.

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Bring me these eggs in all
the banquets to come.

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Yes, my Queen.

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All eggs. Right.

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(explosion)

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(cannon ball whizzes, explodes)

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(banqueters gasp)
(pieces of the castle fall)

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Humble Joan can't stop us from
enjoying this, can she?

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(men screaming in agony)

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I am more than your queen,
am I not?

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I'm- I'm your friend.

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(men laugh nervously)
(explosion outside)

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A toast, to friendship.

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(big explosion)

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SOLDIER: Fall back!

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(helmets, swords clanging)

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(marching music)

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(trumpet sounds)
(soldiers cheering)

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The wall is breached.

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(sighs)

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Oh, dear.

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(swords clanging)

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Fighting in the passages.

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(soldiers screaming)

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Screams of the dying.

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Yes, dying peasants, though,
don't we think?

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SOLDIER: Footsteps coming
closer.

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(ominous music)
(squelch)

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(blood dripping)

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(sword zings)

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They're at the door.

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(soldier thumps)
(dramatic music)

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(loud crash)
(people screaming)

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(soldiers roaring)

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(tense music)

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Humble Joan.

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Merely Joan.

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I seek no fame, no titles.

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Only justice.

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Urgh.

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As do I.

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(gasps)
(dramatic music)

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Leofwine!

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During any change of government,

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some element of continuity
is advisable.

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No!

111
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I am still the queen!

112
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Thanes, I command you to
seize them!

113
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Is she serious?

114
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Thanes, you are citizens of
the new commonwealth.

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Be free.

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(treacherous music)

117
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Thank you, Humble Joan,
you heal our land.

118
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You heal yourselves.

119
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What?

120
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Wolf Tail...

121
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(groans)
(sword clangs)

122
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My father's blade.
(grunts)

123
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Humble Joan, I challenge you to
single combat.

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The victor wins the realm.

125
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(giggling)

126
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Duelling?

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Oh. A sad habit
of the wealthy.

128
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We have no need for it now.

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There are a dozen tongues
in this hall.

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More than one shall speak of
the time

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Humble Joan was afraid.

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(axe swishes)

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(dramatic music)
If I can fell the tallest oak,

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I can cut down a little queen.

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Argh!
(sword whooshes)

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(Joan laughs)

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(grunting)
(weapons clang)

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Oh!

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Such pretty nails
and such a soft foot.

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You've lived as a queen.

141
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Time to die as one.

142
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Many people cry for their
mothers at a time like this.

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YOUNG DAGAN: <i>Mum! No!</i>

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Not I! Argh!

145
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Oh, a fighting queen at last!

146
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Did I touch a nerve?

147
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(frightened breathing)

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(sword clangs)

149
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See how the coward runs.

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(door opens)

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Now, bring her back.
(men shouting)

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Well, look at you.

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(upbeat music)
(people shouting)

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(screams)

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(chain rattles, clangs)
(spiked ball hits helmet)

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(banging of metal on metal)

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SOLDIER:
She went this way!

158
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Oh, excuse me, corpse chap.

159
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LEOFWINE: Dagan!

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Oooh, D-D-D-D-D Dagan!

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Boo!
(panicked breathing)

162
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My new master will be pleased.

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(hitting sound)
(screams)

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(high tempo music)

165
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This way, my Queen.

166
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Oh. Oh, titting balls.

167
00:08:26.583 --> 00:08:28.000
I've never gone this way before.

168
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They're staff stairs, come on!

169
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I remember you now.

170
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You're one of the servants and
you're called Turmeric.

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- That's the spice.
- Yes, I knew that.

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(agonised scream from upstairs)
(blade swishes)

173
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Dishand me! A commoner may not
touch a queen!

174
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(head bouncing on stairs)
Urgh!

175
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- Why are we going up?
- I know of a privy chute.

176
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- A what?
- A privy chute.

177
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It's narrow, but steep
and moist.

178
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We'll slide fast.

179
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Moist is a word for it,
I can think of others.

180
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(up tempo music)

181
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At least consider it,
my Queen.

182
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Do you think to trick me
and push me down?

183
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(screams)
(splash, plop)

184
00:09:06.375 --> 00:09:08.375
(grunting)

185
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That wasn't so bad, was it?

186
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(wretches)
(splashes in mud)

187
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The Queen requires a shoe!

188
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You look perfect. Now, run!
(high tempo music)

189
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SOLDIER: Find Dagan!

190
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WOMAN: Find the queen!

191
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Where are we going?
And what's your name again?

192
00:09:22.208 --> 00:09:23.542
Shulmay.

193
00:09:23.708 --> 00:09:25.833
Shulmay, Shulmay, Shulmay,
Shulmay, Shulmay, Shulmay,

194
00:09:25.833 --> 00:09:27.750
Shulmay, Shulmay, Shulmay,
Shulmay, Shulmay.

195
00:09:28.750 --> 00:09:30.667
- We'll swim downstream.
- We turn back.

196
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Huh?

197
00:09:32.250 --> 00:09:33.250
(fabric rips)

198
00:09:33.250 --> 00:09:35.500
Quick, they're coming.
In here.

199
00:09:36.458 --> 00:09:38.292
(dog panting)

200
00:09:43.208 --> 00:09:44.667
(dog growls)

201
00:09:44.958 --> 00:09:46.500
SOLDIER: Hang on,
what's this?

202
00:09:46.667 --> 00:09:48.167
The Queen's colour.

203
00:09:49.333 --> 00:09:50.667
She took to water.

204
00:09:50.667 --> 00:09:52.667
She reckons we'll lose
the scent.

205
00:09:52.667 --> 00:09:54.292
Follow the river, boys!

206
00:09:54.292 --> 00:09:57.208
<i>The Queen had outwitted
the rebels and escaped.</i>

207
00:09:57.375 --> 00:09:58.833
<i>Maybe Shulmay helped
a bit too.</i>

208
00:09:58.833 --> 00:10:02.375
<i>But with her citadel taken,
what would Dagan do now?</i>

209
00:10:02.917 --> 00:10:04.250
(owl hooting)

210
00:10:09.167 --> 00:10:13.125
When I was a girl, I would watch
my father punish traitors.

211
00:10:13.708 --> 00:10:15.750
He would cleave off their arms.

212
00:10:15.750 --> 00:10:18.042
And shove them up their arses.

213
00:10:18.583 --> 00:10:19.708
- That's nice.
- Hmm.

214
00:10:19.708 --> 00:10:21.667
And then he would cleave off
their arses

215
00:10:21.667 --> 00:10:24.625
and shove those up whatever
remained.

216
00:10:25.125 --> 00:10:26.917
People didn't always get
their own arses.

217
00:10:26.917 --> 00:10:28.625
Arses were swapped about.

218
00:10:30.708 --> 00:10:32.083
Now, Leofwine,

219
00:10:32.542 --> 00:10:34.375
she will have
all of this and more

220
00:10:34.375 --> 00:10:36.458
when I take back the citadel
tomorrow.

221
00:10:37.083 --> 00:10:39.708
And do you have soldiers
for that, Your Majesty?

222
00:10:41.083 --> 00:10:42.708
You're making the queen
feel bad.

223
00:10:42.708 --> 00:10:44.208
Your throne is lost.

224
00:10:44.583 --> 00:10:45.750
(scoffs)

225
00:10:46.917 --> 00:10:48.333
But it can be yours again.

226
00:10:50.083 --> 00:10:51.167
You may continue.

227
00:10:51.542 --> 00:10:55.292
For weeks, I feared Leofwine
was playing both sides,

228
00:10:55.583 --> 00:10:58.083
that there were letters
she didn't show you.

229
00:10:58.625 --> 00:11:01.583
Earlier in the fog of war,
she left one on the table.

230
00:11:03.458 --> 00:11:04.542 line:5%
(treacherous music)

231
00:11:04.542 --> 00:11:06.667 line:5%
'To Chancellor Leofwine,

232
00:11:07.667 --> 00:11:11.583
from King Ivarr of Jutland and
King Guthrum of the Frisians.'

233
00:11:12.167 --> 00:11:13.583
These are my cousins!

234
00:11:13.583 --> 00:11:15.458
My cousins across the sea!

235
00:11:16.042 --> 00:11:18.500
'By Fingerstone Rock -'
(paper rustles)

236
00:11:19.500 --> 00:11:21.583
Well, I had a moment, no more.

237
00:11:21.708 --> 00:11:23.292
I could only take
the first page.

238
00:11:23.542 --> 00:11:25.292
Then we'll never know the rest!

239
00:11:25.542 --> 00:11:26.833
I'm finished!

240
00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:28.292
Strangle me.

241
00:11:29.500 --> 00:11:30.625
But gently.

242
00:11:31.042 --> 00:11:33.083
It said Ivarr and Guthrum

243
00:11:33.083 --> 00:11:35.750
will give you sanctuary
in their lands.

244
00:11:35.750 --> 00:11:38.042
Then they'll muster armies
and longships

245
00:11:38.042 --> 00:11:39.958
all for you to take back
what's yours.

246
00:11:39.958 --> 00:11:41.875
Then I'm saved!

247
00:11:43.167 --> 00:11:44.958
But what does 'by Fingerstone
Rock' mean?

248
00:11:45.125 --> 00:11:46.958
Fingerstone is a crag
on the coast.

249
00:11:46.958 --> 00:11:48.917
It marks the shortest passage
to their lands.

250
00:11:48.917 --> 00:11:51.125
Well, that's where
we're going!

251
00:11:51.417 --> 00:11:53.208
How far is Fingerstone Rock
from here?

252
00:11:53.208 --> 00:11:54.958
A hundred and forty miles.

253
00:11:55.333 --> 00:11:57.208
One hundred and forty miles?

254
00:11:58.250 --> 00:12:00.083
One hundred and -
(upbeat marching music)

255
00:12:00.083 --> 00:12:04.167 line:5%
<i>And so began their great
journey, to Fingerstone Rock,</i>

256
00:12:04.542 --> 00:12:06.958 line:5%
<i>to the kings, to salvation.</i>

257
00:12:06.958 --> 00:12:08.833
(mud squishes)
(Shulmay sighs)

258
00:12:09.250 --> 00:12:12.500
Shulmay, your servant's shoe is
not very watertight.

259
00:12:12.708 --> 00:12:14.667
Add that to your things to
fix list.

260
00:12:14.667 --> 00:12:16.792
My Queen, you are conspicuous

261
00:12:17.042 --> 00:12:19.667
with your red gown and your
gold crown.

262
00:12:19.792 --> 00:12:21.042
Just -
- Hey!

263
00:12:21.167 --> 00:12:23.083
My father's crown shall not
be removed.

264
00:12:23.083 --> 00:12:24.708
- If it's seen -
- Well, then cover it.

265
00:12:24.708 --> 00:12:26.333
Find me a nice hat.

266
00:12:28.417 --> 00:12:29.458
Yep.

267
00:12:31.792 --> 00:12:34.542
You're probably wondering why
I'm helping you (laughs).

268
00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:40.333
Why this servant who...
could've slipped away hasn't.

269
00:12:40.875 --> 00:12:43.125
Not especially, no.
It's your job.

270
00:12:43.542 --> 00:12:47.667
And, hey, stop walking
before your Queen!

271
00:12:48.417 --> 00:12:50.500
What is the world coming to?

272
00:12:50.875 --> 00:12:52.667
(treacherous music)

273
00:12:56.083 --> 00:12:57.583
Keep up, though!

274
00:12:58.208 --> 00:13:00.375
We have no time for slackers.

275
00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:03.792
Yeah.
(marching music continues)

276
00:13:06.250 --> 00:13:10.333
<i>On they walked, with happy
smiles and swelling hearts.</i>

277
00:13:10.750 --> 00:13:11.833
<i>Until...</i>

278
00:13:17.458 --> 00:13:18.958
(sighs)

279
00:13:21.417 --> 00:13:24.042
<i>This is my morning song I sing,</i>

280
00:13:24.250 --> 00:13:26.250
<i>in summer, winter,
and in spring.</i>

281
00:13:26.250 --> 00:13:29.042
<i>It's made from air that
I breathe in,</i>

282
00:13:29.042 --> 00:13:30.125
(inhales)

283
00:13:30.125 --> 00:13:32.417
<i>and push it out my mouth again.</i>

284
00:13:32.417 --> 00:13:34.875
<i>Some say the tune and words
are wrong,</i>

285
00:13:35.167 --> 00:13:37.125
<i>but it is not their fucking
song.</i>

286
00:13:37.250 --> 00:13:38.083
When he leaves for work,

287
00:13:38.083 --> 00:13:40.375
we'll search his hut for
clothes and food.

288
00:13:40.375 --> 00:13:41.875
Why wait?

289
00:13:41.875 --> 00:13:44.042
This man is a loyal subject.

290
00:13:44.042 --> 00:13:46.083
Look, any army would have him,

291
00:13:46.083 --> 00:13:47.875
and yet he has not joined
the rebels.

292
00:13:47.875 --> 00:13:49.333
No purple flower.

293
00:13:49.333 --> 00:13:52.250
- We cannot know who his loyal...
- Greetings, peasant!

294
00:13:52.250 --> 00:13:55.083
- Great.
- I am your Queen, Queen Dagan,

295
00:13:55.083 --> 00:13:57.958
and we noticed you do not wear
the mauve bloom.

296
00:13:58.208 --> 00:14:00.083
- Oh, it must've fallen off.
- Oh!

297
00:14:00.083 --> 00:14:01.375
- An enemy!
- No, no, no.

298
00:14:01.375 --> 00:14:02.792
I just like purple flowers.

299
00:14:03.750 --> 00:14:07.000
Noticed, er, lots of people
marching about wearing 'em.

300
00:14:07.500 --> 00:14:08.500
Is it fashion?

301
00:14:08.500 --> 00:14:12.833
No, it is not fashion,
it is revolution.

302
00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:16.083
Oh... well, been nice to
meet you.

303
00:14:16.292 --> 00:14:19.292
Your Queen needs clothes
and food.

304
00:14:20.167 --> 00:14:21.333
Please help us.

305
00:14:21.333 --> 00:14:23.083
Alright, well, I'll see
what I've got.

306
00:14:23.292 --> 00:14:24.542
My name is Bobik.

307
00:14:25.083 --> 00:14:26.625
- Okay.
- Right.

308
00:14:30.208 --> 00:14:31.208
Come in.

309
00:14:31.208 --> 00:14:33.083
(dramatic music)

310
00:14:33.583 --> 00:14:34.958
Here's where she took to water.

311
00:14:34.958 --> 00:14:36.667
No sign of her yet.
(Joan sighs)

312
00:14:38.042 --> 00:14:40.042
There. Footprints.

313
00:14:41.750 --> 00:14:44.333
Dagan lay here,
and not alone.

314
00:14:44.333 --> 00:14:45.958
Someone's helping her.

315
00:14:46.500 --> 00:14:48.250
Someone clever.
- But we thought -

316
00:14:48.250 --> 00:14:50.458
Ha, what they made you think.

317
00:14:52.917 --> 00:14:54.875
Keep searching the river.
- Yes, Joan.

318
00:14:55.375 --> 00:14:56.625
I'll go east.

319
00:14:56.833 --> 00:14:58.583
I know Dagan's weaknesses.

320
00:14:58.708 --> 00:15:00.625
She'll not hide long from me.

321
00:15:00.625 --> 00:15:02.417
Thank you, Citizen Leofwine.

322
00:15:02.417 --> 00:15:04.125
Take the soldiers and get to it.

323
00:15:04.125 --> 00:15:07.250
Excuse me.
Affairs of the state (chuckles).

324
00:15:07.250 --> 00:15:09.083
(paper unfolds)

325
00:15:09.708 --> 00:15:12.417
Off you go.
Bring me Dagan's head.

326
00:15:12.417 --> 00:15:14.000
There's a poppet.

327
00:15:17.708 --> 00:15:20.417
So, we'll walk to
Fingerstone Rock,

328
00:15:20.417 --> 00:15:22.875
and then we'll sail a boat
across the sea

329
00:15:22.875 --> 00:15:25.292
to find new soldiers
for the queen. (chuckles)

330
00:15:25.458 --> 00:15:27.083
Splish, splash, splosh.

331
00:15:27.208 --> 00:15:28.625
I've heard of the sea.

332
00:15:29.000 --> 00:15:32.042
It's like a puddle, but much,
much wider.

333
00:15:32.292 --> 00:15:35.333
And it's salty, like when you
lick your own armpit.

334
00:15:35.333 --> 00:15:37.875
(laughs)
How far is this walk of yours?

335
00:15:37.875 --> 00:15:39.875
A hundred and thirty miles
from here.

336
00:15:39.875 --> 00:15:41.375
(whistles)

337
00:15:42.458 --> 00:15:43.833
You're gonna need a horse.

338
00:15:43.833 --> 00:15:47.333
They all died.
In the great horse plague.

339
00:15:47.625 --> 00:15:49.458
- A dragon, then.
- Yeah, they're not real.

340
00:15:49.458 --> 00:15:51.500
(laughs) Fuck off.

341
00:15:51.500 --> 00:15:53.500
- Do you have any money?
- Uh-uh.

342
00:15:53.500 --> 00:15:54.625
Food?

343
00:15:55.333 --> 00:15:57.375
Well, just these crusts
you're eating.

344
00:15:58.000 --> 00:15:59.333
And a lump.

345
00:16:01.083 --> 00:16:02.292
A lump of what?

346
00:16:03.083 --> 00:16:04.125
Lamb?

347
00:16:04.583 --> 00:16:06.167
Or cheese?
(sniffs)

348
00:16:06.792 --> 00:16:09.167
The man I get it off never
tells me.

349
00:16:09.500 --> 00:16:10.792
What's your trade, Bobik?

350
00:16:10.792 --> 00:16:12.542
I'm a shit spader.

351
00:16:12.708 --> 00:16:13.958
I spade the shit.

352
00:16:14.125 --> 00:16:15.417
Not a job that needs a long
explanation.

353
00:16:15.417 --> 00:16:18.000
No, there... there's more to it
than most think, you know.

354
00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:21.208
There are... countless different
kinds of shit.

355
00:16:21.208 --> 00:16:23.417
And no two spades the same.

356
00:16:23.417 --> 00:16:25.417
You have your basic cow shit.

357
00:16:25.583 --> 00:16:27.458
Um, you've got your runny shit,

358
00:16:27.458 --> 00:16:30.917
you've got your compacted shit,
crumbly shit,

359
00:16:30.917 --> 00:16:34.625
glistening shit, young shit,
old shit, frozen shit,

360
00:16:34.958 --> 00:16:37.833
grassy shit, muddy shit,
waxy shit.

361
00:16:37.833 --> 00:16:40.417
You even have shit with
bones in it.

362
00:16:40.417 --> 00:16:42.417
- We understand.
- Mouldy shit, mossy shit,

363
00:16:42.417 --> 00:16:45.792
stringy shit, sandy shit,
leafy shit, mystery shit.

364
00:16:46.542 --> 00:16:47.917
Fizzy shit.

365
00:16:48.042 --> 00:16:49.917
You get tasty shit too.
- (gags)

366
00:16:50.042 --> 00:16:51.083
Where are you going?

367
00:16:53.375 --> 00:16:54.500
You have sacks.

368
00:16:54.500 --> 00:16:55.958
Yeah, full of shit.

369
00:16:56.125 --> 00:16:57.417
And they clothe you.

370
00:16:57.542 --> 00:16:59.583
My Queen, we need disguises.

371
00:16:59.792 --> 00:17:03.083
We can wear sack cloth
and carry powerful spades

372
00:17:03.083 --> 00:17:06.250
and pose as honest shovelers
on our trek.

373
00:17:06.416 --> 00:17:09.958
And it was at that moment
Queen Dagan awoke

374
00:17:09.958 --> 00:17:12.291
from her hideous nightmare.

375
00:17:16.083 --> 00:17:17.083
(sighs)

376
00:17:17.083 --> 00:17:19.125
This trek, I'll come with you.

377
00:17:19.125 --> 00:17:20.875
No. No, Bobik.

378
00:17:20.875 --> 00:17:22.666
It's bad enough having to walk
next to a servant.

379
00:17:22.666 --> 00:17:24.958
But you, I don't mean to offend
you here,

380
00:17:24.958 --> 00:17:28.458
but you are the lowest variety
of human.

381
00:17:28.917 --> 00:17:31.042
But if I come with you,
you can make me a thane.

382
00:17:31.958 --> 00:17:33.750
That's the second highest title.

383
00:17:33.917 --> 00:17:35.667
BOBIK: Well, what's the highest?

384
00:17:36.083 --> 00:17:39.375
- An earl.
- Good, then I'll be an earl.

385
00:17:39.750 --> 00:17:43.667
I like the shit and I...take a
great deal of pride

386
00:17:43.667 --> 00:17:45.583
in my spading of it, but...

387
00:17:45.583 --> 00:17:49.792
I've always fancied being,
um, one of those rich fellas.

388
00:17:50.208 --> 00:17:53.750
Bobik is strong,
and has skills we don't.

389
00:17:54.708 --> 00:17:56.417
(laughs nervously)

390
00:17:56.417 --> 00:17:58.208
SHULMAY: He could prove handy.

391
00:17:59.542 --> 00:18:00.833
Alright.

392
00:18:01.083 --> 00:18:03.250
Bobik, you may journey with us,

393
00:18:03.250 --> 00:18:05.833
and when I'm restored to
my throne,

394
00:18:05.958 --> 00:18:08.958
I shall give you that earldom.

395
00:18:10.500 --> 00:18:12.917
Yes! Thank you.

396
00:18:14.833 --> 00:18:16.792
(giggles)

397
00:18:18.042 --> 00:18:20.292
I'll never make an
earl of Bobik.

398
00:18:20.292 --> 00:18:21.583
(giggles)

399
00:18:21.958 --> 00:18:24.250
Or you, or any lowborn.

400
00:18:24.250 --> 00:18:25.958
But I don't think we need
to tell him that now.

401
00:18:25.958 --> 00:18:28.083
It can be our little secret.

402
00:18:28.333 --> 00:18:30.417
(jaunty music)

403
00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:32.333
(fabric ripping)

404
00:18:49.750 --> 00:18:51.708
Yeah.
(dramatic flute music)

405
00:18:54.458 --> 00:18:57.000
<i>And so, the two became three.</i>

406
00:18:57.583 --> 00:19:00.625
<i>Queen Dagan, Shulmay,
and Bobik,</i>

407
00:19:01.000 --> 00:19:03.667
<i>names to echo down the ages.</i>

408
00:19:04.292 --> 00:19:06.375
<i>As long as they didn't get
caught.</i>

409
00:19:07.458 --> 00:19:09.708
You walk like a queen,
my Queen.

410
00:19:10.500 --> 00:19:12.042
You should walk like a Bobik.

411
00:19:15.250 --> 00:19:16.583
There.

412
00:19:16.875 --> 00:19:18.583
Oh, and I'll speak peasant too.

413
00:19:18.583 --> 00:19:21.000
Once, I spoke peasant all day,

414
00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:23.375
and it really did make
the thanes chuckle.

415
00:19:23.542 --> 00:19:24.875
(clears her throat)

416
00:19:25.125 --> 00:19:30.250
'Shall I milk your herd for
you, kind Sir?'

417
00:19:31.167 --> 00:19:34.583
Okay, so when we meet someone,
I'll do the talking.

418
00:19:35.875 --> 00:19:37.500
- Will you now?
- Yeah.

419
00:19:37.625 --> 00:19:38.833
BOBIK: I'll talk too.

420
00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:40.375
I know lots of words.

421
00:19:40.500 --> 00:19:41.875
I know twenty words.

422
00:19:41.875 --> 00:19:43.500
Shall we have a little
practice, Bobik?

423
00:19:43.875 --> 00:19:45.750
Okay, I'm a stranger.

424
00:19:46.833 --> 00:19:48.708
Fine morning, fellow travellers.

425
00:19:48.708 --> 00:19:50.417
Where are you going?

426
00:19:50.667 --> 00:19:52.208
We are on a journey.

427
00:19:52.333 --> 00:19:53.958
Shit spaders, I see.

428
00:19:54.250 --> 00:19:56.542
I am, yeah.
She's not, she's the queen.

429
00:19:56.875 --> 00:20:00.667
We're off to meet some kings
and - oh.

430
00:20:00.958 --> 00:20:02.917
So, lies are required.

431
00:20:02.917 --> 00:20:04.583
But lies are bad and wrong.

432
00:20:04.583 --> 00:20:06.458
Let's just try this again.

433
00:20:06.458 --> 00:20:08.375
Say, 'I am not Bobik.'

434
00:20:08.375 --> 00:20:09.833
But I am Bobik.

435
00:20:09.833 --> 00:20:11.208
Say it.

436
00:20:12.083 --> 00:20:17.333
I am...n... not Bobik.

437
00:20:17.333 --> 00:20:19.167
- And it's a great first go.
- Pfft.

438
00:20:19.167 --> 00:20:20.375
Okay, but don't puff your
cheeks out,

439
00:20:20.375 --> 00:20:22.583
'cause it gives the game away.
So, again.

440
00:20:22.583 --> 00:20:24.958
I am... not Bobik.

441
00:20:24.958 --> 00:20:26.792
- Don't look up.
- (groans)

442
00:20:27.083 --> 00:20:29.292
I am... not Bobik.

443
00:20:29.292 --> 00:20:30.708
Getting worse now.

444
00:20:30.833 --> 00:20:32.625
A traveller do come.

445
00:20:32.625 --> 00:20:34.250
MAN: Pots, pans, kettles,
and cans.

446
00:20:34.250 --> 00:20:36.167
(whistling)
(pots and pans clanging)

447
00:20:39.208 --> 00:20:40.542
Bobik, you're a lifelong mute.

448
00:20:40.542 --> 00:20:43.125
Without words thou be.

449
00:20:43.125 --> 00:20:44.708
None of that.

450
00:20:45.958 --> 00:20:47.542
Your Majesty.

451
00:20:49.250 --> 00:20:50.875
(cart squeaks and rumbles)

452
00:20:56.167 --> 00:20:58.792
Pots and pans, kettles
and cans.

453
00:20:59.333 --> 00:21:01.333
Good day, Mr Ironmonger.

454
00:21:01.458 --> 00:21:02.792
Beautiful smithing there.

455
00:21:02.792 --> 00:21:04.833
- Thank you.
- Yes, and that one is lovely.

456
00:21:04.833 --> 00:21:06.500
Love them all.
- Obliged.

457
00:21:06.500 --> 00:21:08.042
Yeah. We've no money to
buy them, though,

458
00:21:08.042 --> 00:21:09.500
as we are not wealthy.

459
00:21:09.625 --> 00:21:10.792
I suppose so.

460
00:21:11.167 --> 00:21:13.375
You're three shit spaders,
that much is plain.

461
00:21:13.375 --> 00:21:16.417
It is very plain
that's what we are.

462
00:21:16.583 --> 00:21:19.875
Yes, all day,
just shovelling away.

463
00:21:20.708 --> 00:21:22.333
Oh, my poor back!

464
00:21:22.333 --> 00:21:24.875
Sure you've got no coin, pal?
(treacherous music)

465
00:21:25.333 --> 00:21:27.292
Can't tempt you with this
lovely little shit pan,

466
00:21:27.292 --> 00:21:28.708
just for the small shits?

467
00:21:31.042 --> 00:21:32.583
Er, he was born without speech.

468
00:21:34.125 --> 00:21:35.333
As was she.

469
00:21:37.083 --> 00:21:38.625
Heard the big news from up
the citadel?

470
00:21:39.292 --> 00:21:40.542
SHULMAY: We have not, Sir.

471
00:21:41.083 --> 00:21:42.750
It's all over for Queen Dagan.

472
00:21:43.792 --> 00:21:45.500
Humble Joan holds the realm now.

473
00:21:46.083 --> 00:21:47.208
What do you make of that?

474
00:21:47.500 --> 00:21:48.833
SHULMAY: What do you
make of that?

475
00:21:50.125 --> 00:21:51.208
Glorious.

476
00:21:52.208 --> 00:21:53.458
Absolutely fantastic.

477
00:21:53.458 --> 00:21:55.333
It's, it's so good.

478
00:21:55.625 --> 00:21:57.708
They say Humble Joan has some
sort of dust

479
00:21:57.708 --> 00:21:59.333
that goes boom!
(bang and clattering)

480
00:21:59.458 --> 00:22:02.250
Went through them walls like
piss through a snowdrift.

481
00:22:02.833 --> 00:22:04.125
Good job and all.

482
00:22:04.375 --> 00:22:06.583
Dagan was a right old cow.
(laughs)

483
00:22:06.792 --> 00:22:08.958
Well, let's not be too hard
on her.

484
00:22:08.958 --> 00:22:10.042
She was a cow, mate.

485
00:22:10.042 --> 00:22:11.667
Like, if I were to compose
a ranking list

486
00:22:11.667 --> 00:22:13.542
of my favourite evil tyrants,

487
00:22:14.167 --> 00:22:15.625
she'd never make top twenty.

488
00:22:15.750 --> 00:22:17.333
Well, we've delayed you long
enough.

489
00:22:17.333 --> 00:22:19.375
Nailed on bottom five.
Bottom two, even.

490
00:22:19.375 --> 00:22:20.833
SHULMAY: We really must
be going.

491
00:22:20.958 --> 00:22:25.125
This way is east, isn't it?
- Last place is either Dagan or-

492
00:22:25.125 --> 00:22:27.833
hmm, Magnus the Flagellator?
(laughing)

493
00:22:27.833 --> 00:22:29.333
And Magnus did a lot more
charity work

494
00:22:29.333 --> 00:22:30.750
than people remember.

495
00:22:31.542 --> 00:22:33.292
It's sort of overshadowed,
you know?

496
00:22:34.167 --> 00:22:35.667
By the flagellations.

497
00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:37.583
Well, it's been a pleasure.

498
00:22:37.583 --> 00:22:40.250
She's not the queen.
(treacherous music)

499
00:22:44.375 --> 00:22:45.625
He speaks!

500
00:22:46.708 --> 00:22:49.042
Mute all his sad life,

501
00:22:49.042 --> 00:22:51.875
and now, here on this moor,

502
00:22:52.333 --> 00:22:54.583
he magics whole phrases.

503
00:22:55.125 --> 00:22:56.667
She's not the queen.

504
00:22:57.875 --> 00:22:59.583
And he doesn't even know what
they mean.

505
00:23:00.708 --> 00:23:03.250
Well, farewell, good sir,
and good munging.

506
00:23:03.250 --> 00:23:07.583
Oh, hey, if you're heading
east, beware a certain forest.

507
00:23:07.583 --> 00:23:09.208
(creepy music)

508
00:23:09.667 --> 00:23:10.708
What forest?

509
00:23:11.292 --> 00:23:13.208
I just told you, a certain one.

510
00:23:14.667 --> 00:23:16.250
Okay...

511
00:23:18.958 --> 00:23:20.583
(pots and pans clanging)
(cart squeaking)

512
00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:28.708
If he looks behind, we have
something to fear.

513
00:23:29.042 --> 00:23:30.583
(tense music)

514
00:23:39.875 --> 00:23:41.500
(sighs) All is well.

515
00:23:47.208 --> 00:23:48.917
BOBIK: It was a nice little
shit pan, that.

516
00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:56.875
(upbeat music)

517
00:23:58.708 --> 00:24:00.292
I should be sitting at my desk

518
00:24:00.292 --> 00:24:02.375
having a cheeky midweek wine.

519
00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:04.708
You know I collect goblets?
- Do ya?

520
00:24:04.833 --> 00:24:05.917
People think I work
all the time,

521
00:24:05.917 --> 00:24:07.500
but I've got loads of interests.

522
00:24:07.500 --> 00:24:11.667
Socialising, giving orders.
Mmm...

523
00:24:11.667 --> 00:24:13.208
We don't even know if they came
this way.

524
00:24:13.208 --> 00:24:15.042
Bloody runaway monarchs!

525
00:24:15.250 --> 00:24:17.375
So annoying!
(sticks clanging)

526
00:24:19.208 --> 00:24:20.917
I know this pattern!

527
00:24:22.083 --> 00:24:23.875
They're close, Max.

528
00:24:24.583 --> 00:24:26.042
They're close.

529
00:24:27.042 --> 00:24:28.458
SHULMAY: Darkness gathers.

530
00:24:28.875 --> 00:24:30.375
We'll dwell the night here.

531
00:24:30.958 --> 00:24:33.625
I can't remember when
I wasn't walking.

532
00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:36.000
How long has it been?

533
00:24:36.292 --> 00:24:39.333
All day, all night, another day.

534
00:24:43.625 --> 00:24:49.625
Oh, my toes, they look like
boxers' eyelids!

535
00:24:49.625 --> 00:24:52.708
I'm- I'm rancid.
I'm rotting.

536
00:24:53.125 --> 00:24:56.292
My royal body requires a palace
to rest in.

537
00:24:56.875 --> 00:24:58.000
- Here?
- Yes.

538
00:24:58.167 --> 00:24:59.708
Make a palace happen around me.

539
00:24:59.708 --> 00:25:01.208
A good stone one.

540
00:25:02.958 --> 00:25:04.083
Okay.

541
00:25:06.458 --> 00:25:09.292
I can't sleep without my
anthem, Shulmay.

542
00:25:13.083 --> 00:25:18.167
<i>Harsh as a lion,
she tramples her foes,</i>

543
00:25:18.625 --> 00:25:20.625
<i>raises burdensome taxes</i>

544
00:25:20.625 --> 00:25:23.875
<i>on their howling widows,</i>

545
00:25:24.042 --> 00:25:28.042
<i>Queen, Queen Dagan.</i>

546
00:25:28.250 --> 00:25:29.875
<i>While Queen Dagan slept,</i>

547
00:25:29.875 --> 00:25:33.042
<i>Humble Joan was working late
at the citadel.</i>

548
00:25:33.375 --> 00:25:36.083
<i>Ultimate super weapons don't
make themselves, you know.</i>

549
00:25:36.292 --> 00:25:38.292
Easy does it.

550
00:25:38.458 --> 00:25:40.125
(tense music)

551
00:25:40.667 --> 00:25:42.208
Beautiful.

552
00:25:44.667 --> 00:25:47.417
It's kings and queens who yearn
for portraits.

553
00:25:47.417 --> 00:25:50.417
Oh, but Joan, you're the
greatest woman of the age.

554
00:25:50.417 --> 00:25:55.458
Alright, if you must, but it
doesn't matter to me.

555
00:25:55.458 --> 00:25:57.042
(soft music)

556
00:25:57.625 --> 00:25:59.500
How will you do my hair?

557
00:25:59.750 --> 00:26:01.875
(footsteps approach)
A message from Leofwine.

558
00:26:02.667 --> 00:26:04.792
'I'm pursuing the tyrant Dagan
eastward.

559
00:26:05.167 --> 00:26:07.083
Though she's proved
elusive so far,

560
00:26:07.375 --> 00:26:10.208
I expect to capture her very
tremendously soon.'

561
00:26:11.125 --> 00:26:13.333
(banging)
Dagan's alive.

562
00:26:13.958 --> 00:26:16.833
While her heart beats,
I cannot rest easy.

563
00:26:19.167 --> 00:26:20.417
(shivering)

564
00:26:20.542 --> 00:26:22.292
DAGAN: It's damn cold out there.

565
00:26:23.083 --> 00:26:24.583
It's toasty in this palace.

566
00:26:25.375 --> 00:26:27.458
If a little... heavy.

567
00:26:27.708 --> 00:26:29.958
Would you like us to remove
some stones, Your Majesty?

568
00:26:29.958 --> 00:26:32.208
DAGAN: No, no, don't be
ridiculous.

569
00:26:32.208 --> 00:26:34.792
Then I'd be cold, like you.
(yawns)

570
00:26:34.792 --> 00:26:36.042
Night-night.

571
00:26:37.333 --> 00:26:38.375
Shulmay.

572
00:26:38.833 --> 00:26:39.875
Bobik.

573
00:26:41.625 --> 00:26:43.333
I'm in this to be an earl.

574
00:26:44.917 --> 00:26:47.333
And Dagan's in this to get her
kingdom back.

575
00:26:47.333 --> 00:26:48.958
What's in it for you?

576
00:26:50.250 --> 00:26:54.875
When I was a girl, I found
myself with no family,

577
00:26:55.375 --> 00:26:57.875
nor any friends to keep me.

578
00:26:58.458 --> 00:27:02.167
So, I banged my little fists on
the citadel gates

579
00:27:02.167 --> 00:27:04.333
and I begged for a job.
(dramatic music)

580
00:27:04.333 --> 00:27:07.167
They made me table servant to
Ur-Nammu.

581
00:27:07.417 --> 00:27:10.417
The old king, Dagan's dad.

582
00:27:11.792 --> 00:27:14.458
One night I'm sent to fetch
his dinner,

583
00:27:15.583 --> 00:27:18.625
citadel's a warren, I get lost.

584
00:27:20.042 --> 00:27:23.000
Ur-Nammu's dinner comes
late, and it comes cold.

585
00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:24.250
(clanging)

586
00:27:24.250 --> 00:27:28.458
So, he gives an order to feed
me to his wolves.

587
00:27:31.208 --> 00:27:32.708
(wolf snarls)

588
00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:35.500
That's not very good, is it?

589
00:27:35.792 --> 00:27:39.958
His wife, Queen Fritha,
bargained for my life.

590
00:27:41.250 --> 00:27:43.458
She made me a servant in her
chambers.

591
00:27:43.667 --> 00:27:46.208
And for five years I stayed
with her there.

592
00:27:46.208 --> 00:27:47.125
(dramatic music)

593
00:27:47.125 --> 00:27:49.500
Fritha always wore a charm
around her neck.

594
00:27:50.167 --> 00:27:52.458
When the illness took her,
she gave it to me.

595
00:27:53.458 --> 00:27:54.708
And she said -

596
00:27:54.708 --> 00:27:56.583
(whispers) <i>If that girl is ever
in trouble,</i>

597
00:27:57.292 --> 00:28:01.542
(haunting music)
<i>please look after her.</i>

598
00:28:02.625 --> 00:28:04.375
Queen Fritha always wore this.

599
00:28:04.500 --> 00:28:06.542
It's Dagan's first baby tooth.

600
00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:11.542
Fritha saved me,
and I couldn't save her.

601
00:28:14.833 --> 00:28:16.625
So, I'll save her daughter,

602
00:28:17.375 --> 00:28:19.292
whether her daughter likes it
or not.

603
00:28:19.625 --> 00:28:21.292
Dagan doesn't know about this?

604
00:28:21.583 --> 00:28:23.333
She won't hear talk of her
mother.

605
00:28:26.042 --> 00:28:27.375
That's just how it is.

606
00:28:28.083 --> 00:28:30.042
You're a good person, Shulmay.

607
00:28:30.333 --> 00:28:32.250
You deserve good things to
happen to you.

608
00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:36.042
Yeah.

609
00:28:40.583 --> 00:28:41.625
Ni-night.

610
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:48.833
(claps)
(snorts)

611
00:28:48.833 --> 00:28:50.208
- Come on!
- What?

612
00:28:50.208 --> 00:28:51.667
Sun's coming up.

613
00:28:51.833 --> 00:28:53.042
Time to get moving.

614
00:28:53.417 --> 00:28:55.833
One of us has to have some
discipline around here.

615
00:28:56.750 --> 00:28:58.083
Looks like it's me.

616
00:28:59.125 --> 00:29:00.333
Off we pop!

617
00:29:01.083 --> 00:29:03.208
(light music)
(birds chirping)

618
00:29:07.167 --> 00:29:09.417
<i>This is my morning song I sing,</i>

619
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:12.000
<i>in summer, winter,
and in spring.</i>

620
00:29:12.458 --> 00:29:15.042
<i>It's made from air that
I breathe in,</i>

621
00:29:15.583 --> 00:29:18.333
<i>and then push out
my mouth again.</i>

622
00:29:21.083 --> 00:29:23.375
Shulmay, I seek your advice.

623
00:29:23.583 --> 00:29:24.875
Lowly you may be,

624
00:29:24.875 --> 00:29:27.250
but you're what's here,
so, you'll have to do.

625
00:29:27.417 --> 00:29:29.458
Hmm. Such an honour.

626
00:29:29.458 --> 00:29:33.292
King Ivarr, King Guthrum.

627
00:29:33.833 --> 00:29:39.000
I'll marry one of them to bind
the alliance and make an heir.

628
00:29:40.208 --> 00:29:42.375
But which one?
(dramatic music)

629
00:29:42.625 --> 00:29:46.417
Guthrum's warriors could lay
waste to whole shires,

630
00:29:46.625 --> 00:29:50.625
but Ivarr's fleets could ravage
hell itself.

631
00:29:50.958 --> 00:29:53.417
Choices, choices.

632
00:29:53.750 --> 00:29:54.833
They both sound delightful,

633
00:29:54.833 --> 00:29:57.167
but would your mother want you
marrying either?

634
00:29:58.250 --> 00:30:00.417
What I mean to say is...
- You said nothing.

635
00:30:01.125 --> 00:30:03.583
And you will never speak of
that nothing, ever.

636
00:30:04.125 --> 00:30:05.625
Do you understand?
(tense music)

637
00:30:05.625 --> 00:30:07.208
Yes, my Queen.

638
00:30:07.208 --> 00:30:08.750
(up tempo music)

639
00:30:13.542 --> 00:30:17.000
<i>And all the while, the traitor,
Leofwine, pursued them.</i>

640
00:30:18.292 --> 00:30:20.833
<i>Unrelenting, unstoppable,</i>

641
00:30:21.250 --> 00:30:23.833
<i>like a machine,
but with great hair.</i>

642
00:30:25.708 --> 00:30:26.708
Yeah.

643
00:30:28.500 --> 00:30:29.583
Up there.

644
00:30:29.583 --> 00:30:31.000
Three of 'em.

645
00:30:40.792 --> 00:30:42.500
And... halt.

646
00:30:44.417 --> 00:30:46.792
Dinner time.
(sighs)

647
00:30:47.375 --> 00:30:49.500
Ooh, hello lump.

648
00:30:49.500 --> 00:30:50.583
Rip.

649
00:30:53.125 --> 00:30:54.583
- Thank you.
- Hmm.

650
00:30:57.958 --> 00:30:59.167
- It's lamb.
- It's cheese.

651
00:30:59.375 --> 00:31:01.458
It's all we've got to eat
for the next ninety miles.

652
00:31:01.458 --> 00:31:02.917
(pig snorting)

653
00:31:05.375 --> 00:31:09.167
Why just eat
when we can feast?

654
00:31:09.417 --> 00:31:10.917
(pig snorting)

655
00:31:11.583 --> 00:31:14.167
Fine pork aplenty there.

656
00:31:14.292 --> 00:31:16.500
More than enough to last us all
the way.

657
00:31:16.917 --> 00:31:19.250
And this is our bait.

658
00:31:19.833 --> 00:31:21.875
Yeah, boars are nimble.

659
00:31:22.458 --> 00:31:23.750
We'll need a bow to catch it.

660
00:31:23.750 --> 00:31:25.917
I'm an incredible hunter.

661
00:31:26.125 --> 00:31:27.875
(jaunty music)

662
00:31:32.375 --> 00:31:34.958
My Queen, we used to hide in
a ditch,

663
00:31:34.958 --> 00:31:37.375
and release the animals as you
came past.

664
00:31:40.458 --> 00:31:42.000
Well, I still had to catch
the things.

665
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:43.500
It's not as though you
lamed them.

666
00:31:43.500 --> 00:31:45.167
- Well...
- Shh!

667
00:31:45.292 --> 00:31:46.875
You'll startle our prey.
(pig snorting)

668
00:31:50.167 --> 00:31:53.458
(shouting) Surprise attack!
(pig startles, squeals)

669
00:31:56.708 --> 00:31:59.792
Yeah, maybe don't actually say,
'surprise attack'.

670
00:31:59.917 --> 00:32:01.458
(upbeat music)

671
00:32:01.458 --> 00:32:02.542
Here we go.

672
00:32:03.375 --> 00:32:04.417
(pig snorts)

673
00:32:04.417 --> 00:32:05.958
Good piggy.

674
00:32:09.542 --> 00:32:11.000
(string snaps, twangs)

675
00:32:11.625 --> 00:32:12.625
(pig snorts)

676
00:32:13.375 --> 00:32:14.708
(stick breaks)
(rock thumps)

677
00:32:14.708 --> 00:32:16.167
(pig snorts happily)

678
00:32:17.292 --> 00:32:20.542
(shouting)
It's a bit fucking late now!

679
00:32:21.375 --> 00:32:22.375
Ow!

680
00:32:22.375 --> 00:32:26.042
He'll stay longer... if we leave
the whole lump.

681
00:32:26.042 --> 00:32:27.833
(upbeat music)

682
00:32:33.125 --> 00:32:34.542
(pig snorts, snuffles)

683
00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:39.458
(grass rustles)

684
00:32:40.208 --> 00:32:41.250
She's gonna do it.

685
00:32:41.417 --> 00:32:42.417
(thump)

686
00:32:42.667 --> 00:32:44.250
(groans)

687
00:32:45.167 --> 00:32:46.292
(pig snorts happily)

688
00:32:49.375 --> 00:32:50.667
Urgh.

689
00:32:52.417 --> 00:32:53.750
(sighs)

690
00:32:55.042 --> 00:32:56.833
You're angry with me.

691
00:32:58.125 --> 00:33:00.250
You know, if anyone's to blame
here, Shulmay...

692
00:33:00.250 --> 00:33:01.375
Really?

693
00:33:08.167 --> 00:33:10.917
If anyone's to blame here,
Shulmay...

694
00:33:13.917 --> 00:33:14.917
it's me.

695
00:33:16.667 --> 00:33:18.750
And it's my fault
we've no food now.

696
00:33:20.208 --> 00:33:21.500
And...?

697
00:33:22.708 --> 00:33:28.667
And I'm... sorry.

698
00:33:29.042 --> 00:33:31.250
An apology. Thank you.

699
00:33:32.417 --> 00:33:33.917
Up we get.

700
00:33:34.375 --> 00:33:36.292
No time for slackers, eh?

701
00:33:37.083 --> 00:33:38.625
(soft music)

702
00:33:42.667 --> 00:33:45.417
Shulmay, isn't it strange,

703
00:33:46.583 --> 00:33:48.792
a few days ago I didn't even
know your name,

704
00:33:49.292 --> 00:33:50.625
or any servant's.

705
00:33:50.875 --> 00:33:53.208
(uplifting flute music)
And now here I am.

706
00:33:54.750 --> 00:33:56.125
Here we are.

707
00:34:05.042 --> 00:34:06.542
I did a table.

708
00:34:06.542 --> 00:34:09.125
Tonight, we shall feast upon
the rich flesh...

709
00:34:12.833 --> 00:34:14.333
(table crashes)

710
00:34:25.292 --> 00:34:27.042
(grass, leaves rustle)

711
00:34:28.667 --> 00:34:31.000
LEOFWINE: Dagan's pretty crown.

712
00:34:33.833 --> 00:34:34.875
This way.

713
00:34:37.917 --> 00:34:39.542 line:5%
DAGAN: Tell me about yourself,
Bobik.

714
00:34:39.750 --> 00:34:41.792 line:5%
And I'll listen this time,
I actually will.

715
00:34:42.125 --> 00:34:43.625
I was born in a bin.

716
00:34:44.458 --> 00:34:46.167
When we were little,
we couldn't afford clothes,

717
00:34:46.167 --> 00:34:49.000
so, we made our own
out of nettles.

718
00:34:49.750 --> 00:34:50.917
Ouch.

719
00:34:51.125 --> 00:34:52.708
That was my first word.

720
00:34:53.417 --> 00:34:55.458
Then there was the whole rest
of my life.

721
00:34:56.833 --> 00:34:58.000
And then there's now.

722
00:34:59.250 --> 00:35:01.042
Which is the important bit,
isn't it?

723
00:35:02.292 --> 00:35:03.792
Yeah, he's actually right.

724
00:35:04.125 --> 00:35:05.917
We fret so much about
the future,

725
00:35:05.917 --> 00:35:07.625
or I do, anyway.

726
00:35:08.167 --> 00:35:11.167
And then when you get
to the future, it's now.

727
00:35:11.875 --> 00:35:13.542
Life is made of nows.

728
00:35:13.750 --> 00:35:15.083
(ethereal music)

729
00:35:18.292 --> 00:35:21.625
It's always now.

730
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:27.000
Such wisdom.

731
00:35:27.375 --> 00:35:29.542
There's an invisible snail
of time,

732
00:35:29.958 --> 00:35:32.208
and he eats all your nows.

733
00:35:32.542 --> 00:35:34.583
The day you see him is
the day you die.

734
00:35:36.333 --> 00:35:38.083
And he's called Big Liam.

735
00:35:40.292 --> 00:35:42.042
It was going so well till then.

736
00:35:42.042 --> 00:35:43.875
(upbeat music)

737
00:35:43.875 --> 00:35:46.417
Ooh, I bet they've got good
pies down there.

738
00:35:46.792 --> 00:35:47.958
We've gotta eat sometime.

739
00:35:47.958 --> 00:35:49.625
DAGAN: Well, we can't enter
a town.

740
00:35:50.375 --> 00:35:51.833
BOBIK: Got no money anyway.

741
00:35:52.292 --> 00:35:53.333
Got these.

742
00:35:54.500 --> 00:35:55.667
No.

743
00:35:55.875 --> 00:35:59.375
No, I'm not shovelling turds
for copper coins.

744
00:36:00.083 --> 00:36:01.458
I'm just not.

745
00:36:02.917 --> 00:36:06.333
I said I'm not shovelling turds
for copper coins.

746
00:36:06.333 --> 00:36:07.583
Did you hear me?

747
00:36:07.792 --> 00:36:08.875
Guys?

748
00:36:08.875 --> 00:36:10.667
(noisy market)

749
00:36:12.542 --> 00:36:13.750
(chickens clucking)

750
00:36:13.875 --> 00:36:14.958
(market sellers shouting)

751
00:36:15.292 --> 00:36:16.250
Bread!

752
00:36:16.583 --> 00:36:18.500
Only one quarter sawdust!

753
00:36:19.167 --> 00:36:20.958
- Bread!
- Finest wool!

754
00:36:22.542 --> 00:36:23.875
Get your random geese!

755
00:36:23.875 --> 00:36:26.917
(bell ringing)
TOWN CRIER: Oyez, oyez!

756
00:36:26.917 --> 00:36:29.875
News from the citadel.

757
00:36:29.875 --> 00:36:30.958
MAN: Shh, shh, shh.

758
00:36:30.958 --> 00:36:33.458
The siege is over.

759
00:36:33.583 --> 00:36:36.625
The victor is Humble Joan!

760
00:36:36.625 --> 00:36:38.250
(cheers)
(upbeat flute music)

761
00:36:41.292 --> 00:36:44.583
- (chanting) Humble Joan!
- DAGAN: Shulmay.

762
00:36:45.250 --> 00:36:47.292
Sorry, excuse me, sorry.

763
00:36:49.375 --> 00:36:50.875
Hooray!

764
00:36:52.958 --> 00:36:54.792
- Sorry.
- Thank you.

765
00:36:57.375 --> 00:36:58.750
(squidging)

766
00:37:00.958 --> 00:37:03.083
DAGAN: Urgh. Yuck.
(flies buzzing)

767
00:37:07.083 --> 00:37:08.833
Shit spaders for hire, you said.

768
00:37:09.042 --> 00:37:11.292
- Yeah.
- You can spade shit.

769
00:37:11.292 --> 00:37:14.292
- Thank you.
- You can sort of spade shit.

770
00:37:14.292 --> 00:37:16.458
But I've got no words for you.

771
00:37:16.750 --> 00:37:20.042
Pick up the pace,
or nobody gets paid!

772
00:37:21.250 --> 00:37:23.792
Bobik, I need to improve!

773
00:37:23.792 --> 00:37:26.333
It takes many, many years to
master the way of the spade.

774
00:37:26.333 --> 00:37:28.375
It's... it's not something you
can just get across

775
00:37:28.375 --> 00:37:29.792
in an afternoon.

776
00:37:30.083 --> 00:37:31.458
Well, can we try?

777
00:37:32.958 --> 00:37:33.958
What's your song?

778
00:37:34.083 --> 00:37:35.500
<i>Harsh as a lion...</i>

779
00:37:35.500 --> 00:37:36.958
No, no!

780
00:37:37.167 --> 00:37:38.542
Your real song.

781
00:37:39.125 --> 00:37:40.292
Come here.

782
00:37:41.208 --> 00:37:42.333
Closer.

783
00:37:42.542 --> 00:37:44.042
Bobik not gonna hurt Dagan.

784
00:37:44.042 --> 00:37:45.458
Just close your eyes.

785
00:37:46.208 --> 00:37:47.208
Please.

786
00:37:47.917 --> 00:37:53.000
Now, I'm gonna need you to go
deep inside yourself.

787
00:37:54.042 --> 00:37:55.500
(tense music)
Okay?

788
00:37:55.875 --> 00:37:59.208
Now, just imagine for a second

789
00:38:00.042 --> 00:38:01.542
that you're not a queen.

790
00:38:02.458 --> 00:38:03.708
You're not a woman.

791
00:38:05.042 --> 00:38:06.875
You're not a man.

792
00:38:07.875 --> 00:38:11.917
There's no earth,
there's no sky.

793
00:38:13.458 --> 00:38:17.083
It's just you, and the spade,

794
00:38:18.542 --> 00:38:20.875
and the thing what must
be spaded.

795
00:38:22.167 --> 00:38:24.167
Now open your eyes.

796
00:38:24.167 --> 00:38:26.333
(whoosh)

797
00:38:29.042 --> 00:38:30.417
What do you see?

798
00:38:31.667 --> 00:38:32.875
(echoing) Me.

799
00:38:34.583 --> 00:38:36.208
Spade.

800
00:38:38.083 --> 00:38:39.625
And that huge pile.

801
00:38:40.125 --> 00:38:42.208
BOBIK; Now, there's a song
inside you.

802
00:38:42.708 --> 00:38:46.125
Everyone has one,
deep in their soul.

803
00:38:46.417 --> 00:38:48.167
That's your spading song.

804
00:38:48.417 --> 00:38:50.083
That's your rhythm.

805
00:38:53.125 --> 00:38:54.167
No.

806
00:38:54.792 --> 00:38:56.750
I can't hear any song,
I'm sorry.

807
00:38:56.750 --> 00:38:58.042
Well, that's odd.

808
00:38:58.042 --> 00:38:59.917
Well, let's go even deeper.

809
00:38:59.917 --> 00:39:02.375
Think about something from
your past.

810
00:39:02.542 --> 00:39:04.208
SHULMAY: Not a good idea.

811
00:39:04.625 --> 00:39:07.000
BOBIK: It'll be fine.
Bobik's got this.

812
00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:08.458
SHULMAY: Well, does he, though?

813
00:39:08.458 --> 00:39:10.125
DAGAN: Not helping.

814
00:39:10.292 --> 00:39:13.208
BOBIK: Trust me.
Close your eyes again.

815
00:39:14.083 --> 00:39:15.917
(chanting music)

816
00:39:16.375 --> 00:39:18.458
Go even deeper inside.

817
00:39:19.375 --> 00:39:20.958
Deep as it goes.

818
00:39:24.125 --> 00:39:26.083
(whooshing)

819
00:39:26.083 --> 00:39:27.792
(humming)

820
00:39:31.750 --> 00:39:33.000
(sludge squelching)

821
00:39:38.458 --> 00:39:40.208
See? I told you.

822
00:39:40.500 --> 00:39:42.583
YOUNG DAGAN: (screaming)
<i>Mum! Mum! Mum!</i>

823
00:39:42.583 --> 00:39:44.542
<i>(screaming)</i>

824
00:39:45.625 --> 00:39:46.625
<i>No!</i>

825
00:39:46.750 --> 00:39:51.667
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
- la-la-la...

826
00:39:53.500 --> 00:39:54.875
(spade snaps)

827
00:39:55.833 --> 00:39:57.208
What's the racket?

828
00:39:59.125 --> 00:40:03.458
What shit spader breaks their
own shit spade?

829
00:40:03.458 --> 00:40:05.417
Leathermaker, we will redouble
our efforts.

830
00:40:05.417 --> 00:40:07.125
You'll redouble your efforts
to fuck off.

831
00:40:07.125 --> 00:40:09.375
- SHULMAY: Kind leathermaker...
- Fuck off!

832
00:40:09.583 --> 00:40:10.750
Brilliant.

833
00:40:11.750 --> 00:40:13.542
How we gonna earn coin now?

834
00:40:13.917 --> 00:40:15.958
DAGAN: My only talent is being
a queen.

835
00:40:16.708 --> 00:40:20.667
SHULMAY: Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls.

836
00:40:20.833 --> 00:40:23.333
Since the death of
Ur-Nammu the Great,

837
00:40:23.333 --> 00:40:27.875
you have been oppressed by his
horrendous daughter,

838
00:40:28.042 --> 00:40:31.875
the selfish, arrogant, stuck-up
little child queen,

839
00:40:31.875 --> 00:40:33.875
despised by all.

840
00:40:33.875 --> 00:40:37.042
Now is the time for sweet
revenge.

841
00:40:37.042 --> 00:40:39.875
I present to you Queen Dagan.

842
00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:43.250
(booing)
DAGAN: You low, low wretches,

843
00:40:43.250 --> 00:40:45.917
you poo gobbling serfs,

844
00:40:45.917 --> 00:40:48.000
puss-encrusted bell-ends.
(public laughing)

845
00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:50.500
Who dares to defame your queen?

846
00:40:50.500 --> 00:40:52.542
SHULMAY: Pelt the Queen with
rocks.

847
00:40:52.542 --> 00:40:54.542
One for a farthing,
six for a penny.

848
00:40:54.542 --> 00:40:56.083
What great value.

849
00:40:56.250 --> 00:40:58.250
Here is a farthing.

850
00:40:59.583 --> 00:41:01.292
(rock hits the target)
(cheering)

851
00:41:01.292 --> 00:41:02.917
DAGAN: Who threw that?

852
00:41:02.917 --> 00:41:05.958
Suck my fat scorn,
you maggoty churl.

853
00:41:05.958 --> 00:41:09.292
I'll open your head and stab
you in the fucking mind.

854
00:41:09.750 --> 00:41:12.375
I'll hang your balls from
a spike

855
00:41:12.375 --> 00:41:15.083
so, everybody can see how tiny
they are.

856
00:41:15.083 --> 00:41:18.875
(laughing)
Very, very, very tiny balls.

857
00:41:19.083 --> 00:41:20.083
It's Bobik.

858
00:41:20.083 --> 00:41:22.583
I heard her speak once and she
sounded just like that.

859
00:41:22.583 --> 00:41:24.125
Do her some damage.

860
00:41:24.125 --> 00:41:26.375
Six for a penny.
(cheers)

861
00:41:26.375 --> 00:41:27.833
(coins jangling)

862
00:41:28.333 --> 00:41:30.750
(rock hits the target)
(cheering)

863
00:41:30.750 --> 00:41:32.167
(coins jangling)
(rocks pelting)

864
00:41:32.167 --> 00:41:35.292
DAGAN: Is that all you've got,
you cock-sucking witches?

865
00:41:35.292 --> 00:41:36.208
(target smashes)
(cheering)

866
00:41:36.208 --> 00:41:37.625
(cheering)

867
00:41:37.958 --> 00:41:41.000
I was a superb puppeteer,
was I not?

868
00:41:41.000 --> 00:41:42.042
Fantastic.

869
00:41:42.042 --> 00:41:44.875
- How good was I, Bobik?
- You were absolutely shit.

870
00:41:48.167 --> 00:41:50.208
(laughing)

871
00:41:50.667 --> 00:41:52.000
You're doing a jest.

872
00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:53.083
That I am.

873
00:41:53.083 --> 00:41:55.375
- And a great one at that.
- Thank you.

874
00:41:55.375 --> 00:41:57.000
Well, we've earned enough for
food.

875
00:41:57.000 --> 00:41:58.083
And beer.

876
00:41:58.083 --> 00:42:00.792
And toenail paint, which I'm
not convinced that we need.

877
00:42:00.792 --> 00:42:03.000
I need it, Shulmay, I just do.

878
00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:04.667
It's a queen thing,
judge me not.

879
00:42:04.833 --> 00:42:06.042
(clearing throat)

880
00:42:07.042 --> 00:42:08.458
Help.

881
00:42:09.292 --> 00:42:11.417
SHULMAY: She likes you.
Smile back.

882
00:42:13.292 --> 00:42:14.417
(growls)

883
00:42:15.417 --> 00:42:16.625
SHULMAY: You flirted, Bobik.

884
00:42:17.042 --> 00:42:19.375
People who don't smell get to
do that now and then.

885
00:42:19.375 --> 00:42:21.917
So, we take the Great East Road
from here,

886
00:42:21.917 --> 00:42:24.292
and then it's a few days to
Fingerstone Rock.

887
00:42:24.458 --> 00:42:26.292
Then we're out across the sea.

888
00:42:26.292 --> 00:42:27.917
We're halfway to salvation.

889
00:42:27.917 --> 00:42:31.792
And I'm still wearing this
little chap.

890
00:42:33.667 --> 00:42:35.000
Boop.
(giggles)

891
00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:37.625
And it's safe so long as I have
my friends.

892
00:42:38.917 --> 00:42:42.208
I said that exact thing only
a week ago to others.

893
00:42:42.833 --> 00:42:44.708
And then they tried to
murder me.

894
00:42:45.625 --> 00:42:46.667
Urgh.

895
00:42:47.750 --> 00:42:52.292
You two haven't murdered me,
not even a tiny bit.

896
00:42:53.042 --> 00:42:54.250
We're your friends.

897
00:42:54.250 --> 00:42:56.875
Best friends, forever.

898
00:42:57.083 --> 00:42:59.292
Even though you're both
very, very common.

899
00:42:59.500 --> 00:43:00.917
And when I'm back on my throne,

900
00:43:00.917 --> 00:43:05.167
I shall rain riches and titles
on you both.

901
00:43:05.417 --> 00:43:06.417
You said that before.

902
00:43:06.417 --> 00:43:08.417
Yes, but I was fibbing then.
I mean it now.

903
00:43:09.083 --> 00:43:10.375
To friendship.

904
00:43:11.625 --> 00:43:12.833
(cheers)

905
00:43:12.833 --> 00:43:14.583
Shulmay, what's your song?

906
00:43:14.583 --> 00:43:16.625
I dunno.
Don't have one probably.

907
00:43:16.625 --> 00:43:17.917
Everyone's got one.

908
00:43:17.917 --> 00:43:19.292
The tooth in the bottle.

909
00:43:19.292 --> 00:43:21.208
I mean, there must be
a story there.

910
00:43:21.208 --> 00:43:22.875
(gasps)
Let me guess.

911
00:43:23.208 --> 00:43:25.292
Oh, it's the tooth of your
long-lost sweetheart.

912
00:43:25.292 --> 00:43:27.542
And we can
help you win him back.

913
00:43:27.708 --> 00:43:29.292
Bobik, that'll be our next
adventure.

914
00:43:29.292 --> 00:43:31.458
- It's just a tooth. (laughs)
- It's your tooth.

915
00:43:32.167 --> 00:43:35.083
Your mum, Queen Fritha,
gave it to Shulmay,

916
00:43:35.250 --> 00:43:37.583
and Shulmay made a promise to
look after you,

917
00:43:37.583 --> 00:43:39.542
'cau...'cause your mum saved
Shulmay...

918
00:43:42.208 --> 00:43:43.458
(laughs nervously)

919
00:43:43.708 --> 00:43:45.417
Beer... beer made me say that.

920
00:43:46.167 --> 00:43:47.542
Is that true, Shulmay?

921
00:43:47.542 --> 00:43:48.875
(upbeat flute music)

922
00:43:49.708 --> 00:43:51.125
You're not loyal to me.

923
00:43:51.375 --> 00:43:52.750
You're not my friend.

924
00:43:53.458 --> 00:43:54.958
You're just a friend of
my mother's.

925
00:43:54.958 --> 00:43:57.625
- She was a good woman, Dagan.
- She locked herself in a tower.

926
00:43:58.333 --> 00:43:59.917
She refused to see me.

927
00:44:00.375 --> 00:44:03.125
I was abandoned, forsaken.
- No, because...

928
00:44:03.125 --> 00:44:04.833
Speak no more of that woman!

929
00:44:04.833 --> 00:44:06.375
(pub falls silent)

930
00:44:06.542 --> 00:44:07.500
(Bobik clears his throat)

931
00:44:07.500 --> 00:44:10.792
Okay, we're getting attention.
We need to leave, quietly.

932
00:44:12.125 --> 00:44:13.208
Don't look.

933
00:44:14.542 --> 00:44:15.917
(treacherous music)
DAGAN: Leofwine.

934
00:44:15.917 --> 00:44:18.167
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

935
00:44:18.167 --> 00:44:20.083
She doesn't know you.
Distract her.

936
00:44:21.208 --> 00:44:22.208
How?

937
00:44:22.500 --> 00:44:24.667
LEOFWINE: You're not even
looking properly. Look at it.

938
00:44:25.417 --> 00:44:28.833
Oh God, your breath is like
a badger's arse.

939
00:44:28.833 --> 00:44:29.917
Hello.

940
00:44:31.875 --> 00:44:32.917
Madame.

941
00:44:34.083 --> 00:44:38.542
You are a super fine lady.

942
00:44:39.583 --> 00:44:42.333
And this is me telling you that.

943
00:44:42.917 --> 00:44:44.542
(beer pouring on floor)

944
00:44:45.167 --> 00:44:47.375
That was beer, it wasn't
a sudden gush of piss.

945
00:44:51.917 --> 00:44:55.708
This is an interaction of some
kind, but what exactly?

946
00:44:55.958 --> 00:44:57.583
It's my new thing.

947
00:44:57.875 --> 00:44:59.250
It's called flirting.

948
00:45:00.167 --> 00:45:01.542
Is it going well?

949
00:45:01.750 --> 00:45:02.917
(sword swishes)
Whoa.

950
00:45:03.458 --> 00:45:06.167
- Can it stop?
- Oh, yeah.

951
00:45:07.167 --> 00:45:08.958
Oh, sorry, sorry.

952
00:45:15.208 --> 00:45:16.208
You.

953
00:45:17.750 --> 00:45:19.125
Have you seen this woman?

954
00:45:19.792 --> 00:45:23.542
Is there a way east which isn't
the Great East Road?

955
00:45:23.542 --> 00:45:25.792
A way that's, er, much quicker,

956
00:45:25.792 --> 00:45:29.333
but at the same time isn't used
by anyone at all?

957
00:45:29.542 --> 00:45:31.375
There is such a way.

958
00:45:32.125 --> 00:45:35.125
There's a certain forest.
(eerie sounds)

959
00:45:36.458 --> 00:45:38.542
You don't wanna go through
there.

960
00:45:38.667 --> 00:45:40.667
SHULMAY: We've heard about this
certain forest.

961
00:45:40.958 --> 00:45:43.250
What's so bad about it?
- The Man-Wolf. (bang)

962
00:45:43.625 --> 00:45:47.833
Ur-Nammu the Great loved
his wolves,

963
00:45:48.042 --> 00:45:50.167
more than his own daughter even.

964
00:45:50.667 --> 00:45:56.000
Story goes he tried to make
a Man-Wolf companion

965
00:45:56.000 --> 00:45:58.708
by unnatural means.

966
00:45:58.708 --> 00:46:00.917
First, a fella was kidnapped,

967
00:46:00.917 --> 00:46:04.208
then Ur-Nammu transformed
this poor man

968
00:46:04.375 --> 00:46:06.000
with hexes and the like.

969
00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:07.917
DAGAN: And I'm guessing that
went badly.

970
00:46:08.042 --> 00:46:09.208
Or are you going to
surprise me

971
00:46:09.208 --> 00:46:11.000
and say it went really well?
- No!

972
00:46:11.250 --> 00:46:16.125
It was a monster made with
magic only a king can undo.

973
00:46:16.125 --> 00:46:19.167
And it dwells in those
woods still,

974
00:46:19.833 --> 00:46:23.458
feasting on the fools who take
the forest path.

975
00:46:23.458 --> 00:46:26.750
Them what don't believe
the beast is real!

976
00:46:26.750 --> 00:46:28.417
(people shouting excitedly)
WOMAN: Humble Joan's here!

977
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:32.458
Oh no, not her as well.

978
00:46:33.833 --> 00:46:36.083
MAN: Humble Joan is here!

979
00:46:36.083 --> 00:46:37.333
WOMAN: It's Humble Joan!

980
00:46:37.333 --> 00:46:38.875
(chanting)
Humble Joan, Humble Joan,

981
00:46:38.875 --> 00:46:45.542
Humble Joan, Humble Joan,
Humble Joan...

982
00:46:46.042 --> 00:46:48.542
Humble Joan, Humble Joan,

983
00:46:48.750 --> 00:46:53.458
Humble Joan, Humble Joan,
Humble Joan, Humble Joan...

984
00:46:53.792 --> 00:46:55.000
(crowd falls silent)

985
00:46:55.333 --> 00:46:56.875
Good citizens...

986
00:46:57.667 --> 00:46:59.833
five days now
since Dagan fell,

987
00:46:59.833 --> 00:47:02.625
and with her the crooked laws,

988
00:47:02.625 --> 00:47:05.958
which stole the wealth of this
land from you, the people.

989
00:47:05.958 --> 00:47:08.292
(cheering)

990
00:47:09.750 --> 00:47:11.625
And yet Dagan lives.

991
00:47:12.292 --> 00:47:13.542
She stalks our fields.

992
00:47:13.542 --> 00:47:14.833
No!
JOAN: Our lanes.

993
00:47:14.833 --> 00:47:16.250
CROWD: No!

994
00:47:16.375 --> 00:47:18.625
I have heard she lurks here,
in the east,

995
00:47:19.000 --> 00:47:20.958
and hopes to win her
throne again.

996
00:47:20.958 --> 00:47:22.458
CROWD: Never!

997
00:47:22.708 --> 00:47:24.458
JOAN: To pillage and to murder.

998
00:47:24.708 --> 00:47:28.083
And I've heard she's done poos
in your wells.

999
00:47:28.083 --> 00:47:30.000
(crowd cries)

1000
00:47:31.125 --> 00:47:32.667
DAGAN: She doesn't do that.

1001
00:47:32.917 --> 00:47:35.000
300 silver marks,

1002
00:47:36.042 --> 00:47:37.667
a lifetime's pay,

1003
00:47:38.667 --> 00:47:42.458
all for the one who brings me
Dagan, alive or dead.

1004
00:47:42.792 --> 00:47:44.042
(cheers)

1005
00:47:44.042 --> 00:47:46.292
The people are the heroes now.

1006
00:47:46.458 --> 00:47:48.125
(loud cheering)

1007
00:47:49.750 --> 00:47:51.833
MAN: Put her head on a spike.

1008
00:47:54.667 --> 00:47:56.458
SHULMAY: Quick, Dagan, this way.

1009
00:47:56.458 --> 00:47:57.917
(people shouting murderously)

1010
00:47:57.917 --> 00:47:59.583
(drum beating)

1011
00:48:10.208 --> 00:48:13.833
Stop it! She's here.

1012
00:48:15.792 --> 00:48:17.292
She's here.

1013
00:48:18.542 --> 00:48:21.125
The little piggy princess.

1014
00:48:21.125 --> 00:48:22.417
Bobik!

1015
00:48:24.000 --> 00:48:25.500
Bobik!
- Yeah? No.

1016
00:48:27.375 --> 00:48:29.333
Is that woman gone?
- Yes, come on!

1017
00:48:29.333 --> 00:48:31.583
Scary.
But lovely hair.

1018
00:48:32.292 --> 00:48:36.792
<i>So, they took the path where
nobody goes,</i>

1019
00:48:37.000 --> 00:48:39.458
(eerie music)
<i>into a certain forest.</i>

1020
00:48:40.625 --> 00:48:42.125
SHULMAY: Man-Wolf. (laughs)

1021
00:48:42.125 --> 00:48:44.250
No. No, such thing.

1022
00:48:44.917 --> 00:48:46.417
Absolutely not, no.

1023
00:48:47.417 --> 00:48:48.500
No way.

1024
00:48:48.667 --> 00:48:50.333
Stay on the path.
(laughs nervously)

1025
00:48:50.333 --> 00:48:51.792
Never leave the path.

1026
00:48:51.958 --> 00:48:55.333
Bobik, tell this woman she has
us utterly lost.

1027
00:48:55.333 --> 00:48:57.000
You still not talking to her?

1028
00:48:57.125 --> 00:49:00.208
Well, I'll travel with her
if I must.

1029
00:49:00.208 --> 00:49:02.917
But it's my mother she loves.

1030
00:49:02.917 --> 00:49:06.292
So, all former relations
are severed.

1031
00:49:06.292 --> 00:49:08.000
I liked it when we were in
the pub.

1032
00:49:08.125 --> 00:49:08.958
There was beer.

1033
00:49:08.958 --> 00:49:11.833
If it cheers you up, Bobik, you
can have an extra county

1034
00:49:11.833 --> 00:49:13.375
on your earldom.
- Whoa.

1035
00:49:13.375 --> 00:49:15.667
Hey, will there be ale
in this county?

1036
00:49:15.833 --> 00:49:17.042
All the ale you can guzzle.

1037
00:49:17.042 --> 00:49:18.375
What, and pies?

1038
00:49:18.375 --> 00:49:20.542
- Pies too.
- What kind of pies?

1039
00:49:21.125 --> 00:49:23.208
- All the pies you can imagine.
- Wow!

1040
00:49:23.208 --> 00:49:25.375
Well, hey, I can imagine
a great many

1041
00:49:25.375 --> 00:49:26.500
different kinds of pies.

1042
00:49:26.500 --> 00:49:28.500
I'm sure you can, but there's
no need to list them.

1043
00:49:28.500 --> 00:49:29.958
You've got apple pie,
mutton pie.

1044
00:49:29.958 --> 00:49:32.083
- Here we go.
- Elderberry pie, venison pie.

1045
00:49:32.083 --> 00:49:33.208
- Yeah.
- Rabbit pie.

1046
00:49:33.208 --> 00:49:34.875
- Rabbit pie's a nice pie.
- Mm-hmm.

1047
00:49:34.875 --> 00:49:36.875
But then, of course, you have
all the fish pies.

1048
00:49:37.083 --> 00:49:39.625
Imagine for a moment any fish
in the river,

1049
00:49:39.875 --> 00:49:41.708
and then just say the word
'pie' after it.

1050
00:49:41.833 --> 00:49:44.000
- Got it.
- Go on, have a go. Give me one.

1051
00:49:44.875 --> 00:49:46.042
- Trout.
- Trout pie, yes.

1052
00:49:46.042 --> 00:49:47.833
Salmon pie.
Now, eel pie is very...

1053
00:49:47.833 --> 00:49:49.292
(banging sound)
What's that?

1054
00:49:49.292 --> 00:49:50.958
(eerie music)
(wolf hows)

1055
00:49:50.958 --> 00:49:53.417
(Bobik shudders)

1056
00:49:54.292 --> 00:49:56.750
Are we standing in the lair of
the deadly Man-Wolf?

1057
00:49:59.250 --> 00:50:01.083
I command you not to panic.
But yes, yes, we are.

1058
00:50:01.083 --> 00:50:02.333
(Bobik cries)
(stabbing sound)

1059
00:50:02.333 --> 00:50:04.292
(Dagan gasps)
Hey, please don't leave me!

1060
00:50:05.917 --> 00:50:09.125
Circle of safety, circle of
safety, circle of safety,

1061
00:50:09.250 --> 00:50:10.500
circle of safety!
- Oh, God!

1062
00:50:10.625 --> 00:50:12.000
Oh, Gods, whatever!

1063
00:50:15.208 --> 00:50:16.333
LEATHERSMITH: Halt.
(screams)

1064
00:50:16.333 --> 00:50:17.417
(tense music)

1065
00:50:17.417 --> 00:50:19.125
You were no shit spader.

1066
00:50:19.667 --> 00:50:20.833
That I could tell.

1067
00:50:21.500 --> 00:50:24.375
Then I saw that panting,
you with the crown.

1068
00:50:24.375 --> 00:50:26.625
No, no, I'm Hilda.

1069
00:50:27.000 --> 00:50:29.083
I...I'm a travelling merchant.

1070
00:50:29.292 --> 00:50:30.417
Let's walk.

1071
00:50:31.250 --> 00:50:32.833
300 silver marks will buy me
all the...

1072
00:50:32.833 --> 00:50:34.250
(stabbing sound)

1073
00:50:34.750 --> 00:50:36.458
(groans, thud)

1074
00:50:36.583 --> 00:50:37.542
Huh?

1075
00:50:37.542 --> 00:50:39.708
Saw him creep off
with his long sword,

1076
00:50:39.708 --> 00:50:41.083
like he knew something.

1077
00:50:41.750 --> 00:50:43.583
And he led me all the way
to you...

1078
00:50:44.583 --> 00:50:45.958
Your Majesty.

1079
00:50:46.292 --> 00:50:48.500
(whispers) Gods and ancestors,
assist me now.

1080
00:50:48.500 --> 00:50:49.917
MAN: Don't waste your breathe.

1081
00:50:50.042 --> 00:50:52.500
My 300 silver marks will...
(stabbing sound)

1082
00:50:52.500 --> 00:50:53.792
(groans)

1083
00:51:00.125 --> 00:51:01.750
(thud)
Oh, my...

1084
00:51:01.875 --> 00:51:02.708
(pulling axe out)

1085
00:51:02.708 --> 00:51:07.708
Couldn't let him be the one to
catch the great Queen Dagan.

1086
00:51:07.708 --> 00:51:10.875
And now, 300 silver...
(stabbing sound)

1087
00:51:12.333 --> 00:51:14.833
(groans)

1088
00:51:15.875 --> 00:51:17.417
(thuds)
Ludicrous!

1089
00:51:17.417 --> 00:51:19.417
That leathermaker tried to send
us north.

1090
00:51:20.042 --> 00:51:21.583
But we figured out his game.

1091
00:51:22.125 --> 00:51:24.375
And those 300 silver marks...
(stabbing sound)

1092
00:51:24.375 --> 00:51:25.958
(choking)

1093
00:51:27.208 --> 00:51:28.333
(Dagan squeals)
(thuds)

1094
00:51:28.333 --> 00:51:29.750
(pulling sword out)

1095
00:51:30.625 --> 00:51:32.417
- Shall be mi...
- Argh!

1096
00:51:32.417 --> 00:51:34.125
(stabbing sound)
(choking)

1097
00:51:34.125 --> 00:51:35.333
(pulling sword out)
(thuds)

1098
00:51:35.333 --> 00:51:36.583
No, you don't.

1099
00:51:36.917 --> 00:51:41.292
You are a difficult person
to track down and behead.

1100
00:51:41.292 --> 00:51:42.750
(treacherous music)

1101
00:51:44.125 --> 00:51:45.250
If you want to talk your way
out of this,

1102
00:51:45.250 --> 00:51:46.542
now's your chance.

1103
00:51:48.167 --> 00:51:49.250
Leofwine...

1104
00:51:50.417 --> 00:51:53.667
I mean, we go way back,
and I thought...

1105
00:51:53.667 --> 00:51:55.792
Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee...

1106
00:51:58.667 --> 00:51:59.667
Carry on.

1107
00:52:01.458 --> 00:52:02.500
(treacherous music)

1108
00:52:02.500 --> 00:52:04.208
You know,
maybe we could just...

1109
00:52:04.208 --> 00:52:08.292
- Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee...
- (scoffs)

1110
00:52:08.583 --> 00:52:11.542
Dear sweet, stupid,

1111
00:52:11.750 --> 00:52:15.583
stupid, stupid

1112
00:52:16.042 --> 00:52:18.083
Dagan!
- You won't escape this.

1113
00:52:18.083 --> 00:52:19.667
The mighty Bobik.

1114
00:52:19.792 --> 00:52:22.417
He'll be here any moment.

1115
00:52:22.417 --> 00:52:24.708
Circle of safety,
circle of safety.

1116
00:52:24.708 --> 00:52:26.292
(owl hoots in the silence)

1117
00:52:28.500 --> 00:52:30.250
Nobody's coming for you.
(wimpers)

1118
00:52:30.250 --> 00:52:31.500
Leofwine, listen!

1119
00:52:31.500 --> 00:52:34.917
Humble Joan, she'll just cast
you aside as soon as she can.

1120
00:52:35.292 --> 00:52:36.417
She can't.

1121
00:52:38.875 --> 00:52:40.917
You don't think Joan's
in charge, do you?

1122
00:52:41.083 --> 00:52:43.333
People like you and her,
you don't actually govern.

1123
00:52:43.333 --> 00:52:45.167
People like me do that.

1124
00:52:45.708 --> 00:52:47.542
I gather taxes,

1125
00:52:47.750 --> 00:52:49.292
I pay the druids,

1126
00:52:49.417 --> 00:52:50.875
I burn the druids,

1127
00:52:50.875 --> 00:52:53.250
I hire cheaper, new druids.

1128
00:52:53.250 --> 00:52:56.375
I run the show,
and I always did.

1129
00:52:57.042 --> 00:52:58.792
(dramatic music)

1130
00:52:59.500 --> 00:53:01.583
Urgh!
(stabbing sound)

1131
00:53:04.042 --> 00:53:05.208
You...

1132
00:53:09.333 --> 00:53:10.625
You should have...

1133
00:53:14.875 --> 00:53:16.167
(thuds)

1134
00:53:26.583 --> 00:53:28.292
- She's dead.
- ...joined me!

1135
00:53:28.458 --> 00:53:30.167
I had so many plans.

1136
00:53:32.583 --> 00:53:35.500
(gurgling)
All dust now.

1137
00:53:35.625 --> 00:53:36.625
(chokes)

1138
00:53:37.083 --> 00:53:39.917
Dust... now.

1139
00:53:43.292 --> 00:53:44.375
(sighs)

1140
00:53:45.167 --> 00:53:46.958
- She's dead.
- No!

1141
00:53:47.458 --> 00:53:53.167
I'm alive, Dagan,
I'm still alive.

1142
00:53:55.792 --> 00:53:57.667
- Now...
- (coughing)

1143
00:54:00.458 --> 00:54:01.917
DAGAN: Oh, for God's sake.

1144
00:54:02.125 --> 00:54:03.750
(dramatic music)

1145
00:54:09.083 --> 00:54:11.042
(women sighing)

1146
00:54:12.375 --> 00:54:14.667
I've actually literally wet
my breeches.

1147
00:54:16.458 --> 00:54:18.375
The queen has moistened herself.

1148
00:54:19.500 --> 00:54:22.083
At least that man-wolf never
showed up.

1149
00:54:22.083 --> 00:54:24.583
(wolf-man growls)
(women screaming)

1150
00:54:24.708 --> 00:54:25.833
Shulmay!

1151
00:54:27.458 --> 00:54:29.625
I'm coming, Shulmay!
(wolf-man snarls)

1152
00:54:29.625 --> 00:54:32.417
Get your hands off my friend!

1153
00:54:32.417 --> 00:54:36.000
(smashing, slashing, tearing)

1154
00:54:39.250 --> 00:54:40.667
Urgh!

1155
00:54:40.792 --> 00:54:42.958
(wolf-man gurgles, laughs)
(babbles)

1156
00:54:48.833 --> 00:54:50.667
Relax.

1157
00:54:52.625 --> 00:54:54.042
It's broken.

1158
00:54:55.750 --> 00:54:58.500
Your crown broke the spell.

1159
00:54:59.833 --> 00:55:01.458
(both gasping)

1160
00:55:03.458 --> 00:55:05.208
I can return to my family.

1161
00:55:06.333 --> 00:55:08.708
Thank you for setting me free.

1162
00:55:14.583 --> 00:55:16.125
Hey, you alright, Clive?

1163
00:55:17.208 --> 00:55:18.625
I ain't seen you in years.

1164
00:55:19.958 --> 00:55:21.042
You're looking well.

1165
00:55:22.375 --> 00:55:24.833
Shulmay, are you hurt?

1166
00:55:25.042 --> 00:55:26.417
You came to save me.

1167
00:55:26.583 --> 00:55:28.958
You took off your crown
for a lowly wretch like me.

1168
00:55:28.958 --> 00:55:30.958
Oh, but what a wretch.

1169
00:55:31.625 --> 00:55:33.708
What a wretch.

1170
00:55:33.875 --> 00:55:36.125
(laughs)
(upbeat music)

1171
00:55:36.333 --> 00:55:37.333
(high tempo music)

1172
00:55:37.333 --> 00:55:39.292
With that huge bounty on your
head, we won't get far,

1173
00:55:39.292 --> 00:55:41.542
but Leofwine's a close enough
match for you.

1174
00:55:41.542 --> 00:55:43.125
We still have your scarlet
robes.

1175
00:55:43.125 --> 00:55:45.750
If she's found in them,
the hunt for the Queen ends.

1176
00:55:45.958 --> 00:55:47.792
But we have different faces.

1177
00:55:47.792 --> 00:55:49.917
Yes, but this is craggy country.

1178
00:55:49.917 --> 00:55:52.833
We'll find a cliff and drop her
off a decent height.

1179
00:55:54.333 --> 00:55:55.542
I get it.

1180
00:55:55.708 --> 00:55:58.625
If Leofwine's head lands
on a hard surface,

1181
00:55:58.625 --> 00:56:01.000
then her face will be all blown
inside out

1182
00:56:01.000 --> 00:56:03.708
and splintered, crushed.
(gagging)

1183
00:56:04.542 --> 00:56:07.583
SHULMAY: See? Put her in the
gown, she's almost you.

1184
00:56:07.875 --> 00:56:09.333
Just the face to think about.

1185
00:56:10.917 --> 00:56:11.750
Hmm.

1186
00:56:11.750 --> 00:56:14.167
This here drop should do
the job on that.

1187
00:56:14.792 --> 00:56:16.583
(grunting)
Okay.

1188
00:56:17.958 --> 00:56:19.833
But she has to land correctly.

1189
00:56:19.833 --> 00:56:22.500
So, we... we've gotta drop her
this way, then.

1190
00:56:22.875 --> 00:56:24.500
No, like this.

1191
00:56:25.417 --> 00:56:27.750
Legs first,
'cause she'll flip as she falls.

1192
00:56:27.750 --> 00:56:30.000
No, sideways,
with a touch of spin.

1193
00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:32.625
- No, headfirst.
- You haven't done this before.

1194
00:56:32.625 --> 00:56:34.042
Neither have you.

1195
00:56:34.500 --> 00:56:36.792
Alright, sideways
with a touch of spin.

1196
00:56:37.542 --> 00:56:38.583
Okay.

1197
00:56:39.000 --> 00:56:40.000
You got her?
- Yeah.

1198
00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:41.083
Ready?

1199
00:56:41.292 --> 00:56:45.125
One, two, three.

1200
00:56:46.167 --> 00:56:47.375
(gown flapping)

1201
00:56:47.375 --> 00:56:48.917
(loud thump)

1202
00:56:50.292 --> 00:56:51.542
Hmm.

1203
00:56:52.917 --> 00:56:54.875
Do we have to go down
and fetch her up?

1204
00:56:54.875 --> 00:56:56.583
Yes. Yes, we do.

1205
00:56:56.583 --> 00:56:58.542
(upbeat flute music)

1206
00:57:00.750 --> 00:57:01.917
(grunting)

1207
00:57:02.833 --> 00:57:05.083
Okay, headfirst.

1208
00:57:05.833 --> 00:57:09.083
One, two, three.

1209
00:57:09.083 --> 00:57:10.542
(gown flapping)

1210
00:57:10.875 --> 00:57:12.042
(loud thump)

1211
00:57:12.042 --> 00:57:13.125
What?!

1212
00:57:14.292 --> 00:57:16.250
She flipped as she fell,
I did say.

1213
00:57:16.458 --> 00:57:19.042
- He did say.
- No, there was a sudden gust.

1214
00:57:19.917 --> 00:57:21.083
Yeah, one more time.

1215
00:57:21.083 --> 00:57:22.375
Alright.

1216
00:57:25.250 --> 00:57:26.917
Urgh, how are we gonna
pick her up?

1217
00:57:26.917 --> 00:57:29.167
BOBIK: She's very slightly
damaged.

1218
00:57:29.917 --> 00:57:31.417
(gagging)

1219
00:57:32.917 --> 00:57:34.208
I think I've worked
something out.

1220
00:57:34.875 --> 00:57:37.333
Dagan often talks about nailing
her foes to trees

1221
00:57:37.333 --> 00:57:40.875
and opening up their guts
and other such japes.

1222
00:57:41.333 --> 00:57:43.375
When this kind of stuff happens
in front of her...

1223
00:57:43.375 --> 00:57:45.333
- She doesn't much like it.
- No, she doesn't.

1224
00:57:45.333 --> 00:57:46.542
Lies!

1225
00:57:46.875 --> 00:57:48.458
I am hard as horn.

1226
00:57:49.583 --> 00:57:52.417
In my youth, my father made me
watch such things.

1227
00:57:52.417 --> 00:57:53.500
(treacherous music)

1228
00:57:54.292 --> 00:57:56.958
MAN: <i>No! No, no, no, please,
Your Majesty!</i>

1229
00:57:56.958 --> 00:57:58.875
<i>No, no, no! I beg you!</i>

1230
00:57:59.583 --> 00:58:00.833
<i>Please, no!</i>

1231
00:58:02.042 --> 00:58:03.708
<i>No!
(sizzling) No!</i>

1232
00:58:03.708 --> 00:58:04.625
<i>No!</i>

1233
00:58:04.625 --> 00:58:06.208
Alright.

1234
00:58:06.833 --> 00:58:08.042
I hated it.

1235
00:58:08.250 --> 00:58:10.750
I hated every horrid moment
of it!

1236
00:58:11.542 --> 00:58:12.917
Are you satisfied?

1237
00:58:14.042 --> 00:58:16.042
And my mother did nothing.

1238
00:58:17.625 --> 00:58:21.333
<i>(door clangs shut)</i>
YOUNG DAGAN: <i>Mum! No! No!</i>

1239
00:58:21.333 --> 00:58:23.167
Why won't you see me?

1240
00:58:23.917 --> 00:58:26.708
Shulmay, I feel we've opened
the wax lid

1241
00:58:26.708 --> 00:58:28.917
atop a clay vessel of worms.

1242
00:58:35.125 --> 00:58:36.250
Your father thought your
mother's love

1243
00:58:36.250 --> 00:58:37.708
would make you soft,

1244
00:58:38.792 --> 00:58:40.542
so, he locked her away in
a tower,

1245
00:58:41.250 --> 00:58:42.750
and anyone who spoke
of her again

1246
00:58:42.750 --> 00:58:44.583
would be pressed through
a cattle grid.

1247
00:58:45.042 --> 00:58:46.667
She never abandoned you,
Dagan.

1248
00:58:49.667 --> 00:58:51.958
My mother lo... loved me?

1249
00:58:52.417 --> 00:58:53.542
Always.

1250
00:58:54.917 --> 00:58:56.167
Why did nobody tell me?

1251
00:58:56.625 --> 00:58:57.958
(whispers) The cattle grid.

1252
00:58:58.125 --> 00:58:59.458
Oh.

1253
00:59:00.333 --> 00:59:02.833
Your father was a bad man.

1254
00:59:04.042 --> 00:59:06.292
And not worthy of your
admiration.

1255
00:59:07.167 --> 00:59:10.000
But that is just the opinion
of Bobik.

1256
00:59:11.292 --> 00:59:12.833
I've been so wrong.

1257
00:59:13.542 --> 00:59:14.917
(soft music)

1258
00:59:15.375 --> 00:59:17.000
Shall we have a third go then,
or what?

1259
00:59:17.250 --> 00:59:18.333
I reckon we've got this.

1260
00:59:20.792 --> 00:59:23.375
Just let me do one thing.

1261
00:59:25.292 --> 00:59:26.500
(grunting)

1262
00:59:27.708 --> 00:59:29.250
Okay, feet first.

1263
00:59:29.792 --> 00:59:30.833
You ready?

1264
00:59:31.667 --> 00:59:35.625
One, two, three.

1265
00:59:38.500 --> 00:59:39.750
With the flip.

1266
00:59:39.875 --> 00:59:41.333
(thuds)
Hmm.

1267
00:59:42.167 --> 00:59:43.958
Yay!
(clapping)

1268
00:59:45.833 --> 00:59:46.958
Huh.

1269
00:59:50.208 --> 00:59:51.750
I'll see you again soon.

1270
00:59:52.458 --> 00:59:53.708
Promise.

1271
00:59:54.208 --> 00:59:55.208
(kisses crown)

1272
00:59:58.042 --> 00:59:59.958
Someone will find the body
soon enough.

1273
00:59:59.958 --> 01:00:01.042
<i>This is what they want</i>

1274
01:00:01.042 --> 01:00:02.417
<i>Why are you still here?</i>

1275
01:00:02.417 --> 01:00:03.708
<i>This is what they said</i>

1276
01:00:03.708 --> 01:00:05.000
<i>This is what you get</i>

1277
01:00:05.000 --> 01:00:10.208
<i>This is you feeling
the same as you used to</i>

1278
01:00:10.208 --> 01:00:11.625
(soldier gags)

1279
01:00:15.917 --> 01:00:17.667
Pay them the bounty.

1280
01:00:21.417 --> 01:00:23.250
Is Leofwine back from
the forest yet?

1281
01:00:27.000 --> 01:00:28.167
(sheet swishes)

1282
01:00:32.125 --> 01:00:33.292
(laughs)

1283
01:00:34.792 --> 01:00:35.792
Hmm.

1284
01:00:38.500 --> 01:00:39.500
(fire crackles)

1285
01:00:44.708 --> 01:00:46.125
She's tougher than I thought.

1286
01:00:46.583 --> 01:00:48.167
I worried she wouldn't make it
this far.

1287
01:00:48.542 --> 01:00:51.208
BOBIK: It's, what, a three-day
walk to Fingerstone Rock?

1288
01:00:51.792 --> 01:00:53.875
To meet Ivarr and Guthrum.

1289
01:00:55.417 --> 01:00:56.542
Bobik.

1290
01:00:56.708 --> 01:00:58.375
- Yeah?
- The thing is...

1291
01:01:02.708 --> 01:01:04.417
Yeah, we'll do that.

1292
01:01:05.542 --> 01:01:06.750
We'll do all of that.

1293
01:01:08.958 --> 01:01:10.333
(dramatic music)

1294
01:01:11.875 --> 01:01:17.417
And after a day's work at the
new c-c-collective bakery,

1295
01:01:17.417 --> 01:01:21.750
I kept a few sweepings of flour
for me and my family.

1296
01:01:21.750 --> 01:01:23.583
- Oh dear.
- And I'm very sorry.

1297
01:01:23.583 --> 01:01:24.792
It won't happen again.

1298
01:01:25.042 --> 01:01:27.083
But I haven't had any wages
since Freedom Day,

1299
01:01:27.083 --> 01:01:29.167
and the guards say there's no
coin to pay us with,

1300
01:01:29.167 --> 01:01:31.125
and, and the kids,
(laughs nervously)

1301
01:01:31.125 --> 01:01:32.250
they're so hungry.

1302
01:01:32.250 --> 01:01:33.333
- Witgar.
- Hmm?

1303
01:01:33.333 --> 01:01:34.750
You can go back to your family.

1304
01:01:35.333 --> 01:01:36.792
(sighs) Thank you, Joan.

1305
01:01:36.792 --> 01:01:41.792
After a stay at the citadel,
in a special room,

1306
01:01:41.958 --> 01:01:43.042
deep underground.

1307
01:01:43.042 --> 01:01:46.167
I...I, urgh... I love you!

1308
01:01:47.042 --> 01:01:48.708
This commonwealth
cannot fail.

1309
01:01:48.708 --> 01:01:50.667
- WITGAR: I love you!
- Will not fail.

1310
01:01:50.917 --> 01:01:53.292
SOLDIER: Humble Joan, a message
from across the seas.

1311
01:01:53.292 --> 01:01:54.917
Hmm.
(treacherous music)

1312
01:02:01.333 --> 01:02:03.292
And this letter gives us
the means to do it.

1313
01:02:05.083 --> 01:02:06.250
Pack up!

1314
01:02:07.583 --> 01:02:09.000
I have somewhere to be.

1315
01:02:09.500 --> 01:02:10.333
(upbeat music)

1316
01:02:10.333 --> 01:02:13.042
<i>And so, the long journey to
the eastern shore</i>

1317
01:02:13.042 --> 01:02:14.292
<i>was nearly over.</i>

1318
01:02:14.500 --> 01:02:16.333
<i>Then, just a short trip across
the sea</i>

1319
01:02:16.333 --> 01:02:18.167
<i>would take them to
the great allies.</i>

1320
01:02:18.542 --> 01:02:21.417
<i>King Ivarr and King Guthrum.</i>

1321
01:02:21.417 --> 01:02:23.500
(upbeat flute music)

1322
01:02:25.833 --> 01:02:26.875
SHULMAY: There it is.

1323
01:02:26.875 --> 01:02:28.708
(seagulls crying)
(Dagan gasps)

1324
01:02:29.500 --> 01:02:30.500
Ah!

1325
01:02:30.875 --> 01:02:33.667
A hundred and two score miles,
and here we are.

1326
01:02:34.583 --> 01:02:36.125
Fingerstone Rock!

1327
01:02:37.167 --> 01:02:39.167
BOBIK: It is big, though,
the sea.

1328
01:02:39.708 --> 01:02:41.000
They weren't lying.

1329
01:02:42.042 --> 01:02:43.917
You'd need all day to drink
that lot.

1330
01:02:44.292 --> 01:02:45.708
Is it salty, though?

1331
01:02:46.458 --> 01:02:47.750
I'm gonna lick it.

1332
01:02:48.583 --> 01:02:50.417
The only sure way to test
anything is lick it.

1333
01:02:50.417 --> 01:02:51.417
Shulmay.

1334
01:02:51.417 --> 01:02:54.708
Where's our boat, Shulmay, to
take us to the lovely kings?

1335
01:02:54.875 --> 01:02:56.000
My Queen, here's the thing...

1336
01:02:56.000 --> 01:02:57.458
(gasps) There's a boat!

1337
01:02:57.875 --> 01:02:59.792
(screeching) It's them!
They're here!

1338
01:03:00.125 --> 01:03:01.458
What now? No.

1339
01:03:01.958 --> 01:03:03.625
- DAGAN: Ivarr!
- Dagan, wait.

1340
01:03:03.625 --> 01:03:04.667
Guthrum!

1341
01:03:04.667 --> 01:03:07.292
- I need to tell you something.
- The two warriors bold!

1342
01:03:07.292 --> 01:03:10.167
They've crossed the sea
themselves to pick me up!

1343
01:03:10.500 --> 01:03:11.458
(gasps)

1344
01:03:11.458 --> 01:03:13.417
- I'm saved!
- That's not quite it.

1345
01:03:13.417 --> 01:03:15.667
- Cooee! I'm here!
- Listen, Ivarr and Guthrum

1346
01:03:15.667 --> 01:03:16.708
are not here for you.

1347
01:03:16.708 --> 01:03:18.625
They're literally just there!
(sea roaring)

1348
01:03:18.625 --> 01:03:20.375
SHULMAY: I haven't told you
everything.

1349
01:03:22.542 --> 01:03:25.000
DAGAN: Wait, where are they
going, the silly things? Huh.

1350
01:03:25.125 --> 01:03:27.667
The truth is, they did write to
Leofwine,

1351
01:03:28.042 --> 01:03:30.000
asking to meet by
Fingerstone Rock,

1352
01:03:30.167 --> 01:03:32.500
and pay gold for the secret
of the flame-powder...

1353
01:03:34.625 --> 01:03:37.208
...once Humble Joan had taken
the realm.

1354
01:03:40.542 --> 01:03:42.458
You mean they bet against me?

1355
01:03:44.292 --> 01:03:45.750
I had to think fast.

1356
01:03:46.708 --> 01:03:50.167
Get the queen to safety
and tell the truth later.

1357
01:03:50.167 --> 01:03:51.375
(dramatic music)

1358
01:03:51.375 --> 01:03:54.125
DAGAN: You lied to me,
all this time.

1359
01:03:55.083 --> 01:03:56.833
No ships, no armies.

1360
01:03:58.875 --> 01:04:00.042
But there is safety.

1361
01:04:00.167 --> 01:04:01.792
No one lives on Fingerstone.

1362
01:04:02.625 --> 01:04:06.167
So, we can live there,
and no one will know.

1363
01:04:07.917 --> 01:04:09.583
Everyone thinks you're dead.

1364
01:04:10.000 --> 01:04:13.125
We'll eat seagulls' eggs
and fish.

1365
01:04:13.125 --> 01:04:14.375
Fish pie.

1366
01:04:14.583 --> 01:04:17.000
That was kind of my plan
all along.

1367
01:04:17.958 --> 01:04:19.208
We live on a rock.

1368
01:04:20.417 --> 01:04:21.417
That rock?

1369
01:04:22.583 --> 01:04:24.083
SHULMAY: That rock over there.

1370
01:04:25.333 --> 01:04:28.375
If we live on that rock,
will I still be an earl?

1371
01:04:29.500 --> 01:04:30.542
Yeah.

1372
01:04:31.625 --> 01:04:34.958
Earl in a palace,
or earl in a hovel?

1373
01:04:36.083 --> 01:04:37.167
Mm-hmm.

1374
01:04:38.417 --> 01:04:39.750
I'm sorry, Bobik.

1375
01:04:41.750 --> 01:04:43.833
Look, I know it's a lot
to take in.

1376
01:04:43.833 --> 01:04:45.375
Urgh!
(kicking)

1377
01:04:49.417 --> 01:04:50.250
(hard slap)
Oh!

1378
01:04:50.250 --> 01:04:52.333
I did all this for your mother!

1379
01:04:52.583 --> 01:04:54.167
You're a shit, Dagan!

1380
01:04:54.292 --> 01:04:57.333
A selfish, horrible shit!

1381
01:04:57.667 --> 01:05:01.042
After all I've done for you,
all Bobik's done!

1382
01:05:02.167 --> 01:05:05.208
I killed for you!
- A bad person...

1383
01:05:06.125 --> 01:05:07.708
who had it coming!

1384
01:05:09.000 --> 01:05:10.375
Real affection would be...

1385
01:05:10.375 --> 01:05:12.917
would be killing someone
who didn't deserve it.

1386
01:05:13.542 --> 01:05:16.542
You sucked up my mother's
love...

1387
01:05:17.250 --> 01:05:18.417
for years!

1388
01:05:19.542 --> 01:05:21.333
That was my love,

1389
01:05:22.292 --> 01:05:23.750
and you robbed it!

1390
01:05:24.000 --> 01:05:26.250
And then you promised me
a kingdom,

1391
01:05:26.583 --> 01:05:28.500
and then you steal that too!

1392
01:05:28.500 --> 01:05:31.000
Some of us get by without
kingdoms.

1393
01:05:31.000 --> 01:05:34.333
(screaming)
Well, I need a kingdom!

1394
01:05:35.458 --> 01:05:38.250
I was going to be a better
queen this time!

1395
01:05:38.583 --> 01:05:43.125
(sobbing) Just a, a, a fucking
adorable queen!

1396
01:05:43.583 --> 01:05:44.917
The pain of it.

1397
01:05:44.917 --> 01:05:46.458
You don't know about pain!

1398
01:05:46.625 --> 01:05:48.583
You're a spoiled baby!

1399
01:05:48.583 --> 01:05:51.000
Do you know how hard it is
being your friend?

1400
01:05:54.875 --> 01:05:56.417
You are not my friend.

1401
01:06:00.417 --> 01:06:01.917
Eat my jellyfish!
(squelch)

1402
01:06:02.500 --> 01:06:04.708
(screams)
It stings!

1403
01:06:06.250 --> 01:06:08.083
Nobody told me they sting!

1404
01:06:08.583 --> 01:06:12.375
I wish that man-wolf had
scoffed your fucking tits!

1405
01:06:13.000 --> 01:06:15.042
Right, I'm done.
(necklace clinks on sand)

1406
01:06:15.042 --> 01:06:16.708
- DAGAN: Good!
- SHULMAY: Fine!

1407
01:06:17.000 --> 01:06:18.333
- Fine!
- Good!

1408
01:06:20.208 --> 01:06:22.708
(melancholic music)
Leave me then!

1409
01:06:23.375 --> 01:06:24.833
Everybody does!

1410
01:06:26.875 --> 01:06:29.250
Why don't you hand me in to
Humble Joan,

1411
01:06:29.375 --> 01:06:31.208
get a nice big fat reward?

1412
01:06:32.208 --> 01:06:34.167
Yeah, maybe I should.

1413
01:06:36.750 --> 01:06:37.750
Bobik?

1414
01:06:40.000 --> 01:06:41.042
Nah.

1415
01:06:46.333 --> 01:06:52.042
<i>Tell me how I should feel</i>

1416
01:06:52.458 --> 01:06:56.000
<i>How can this love</i>

1417
01:06:56.125 --> 01:06:58.375
<i>run out of here?</i>

1418
01:06:59.125 --> 01:07:04.958
<i>When should I believe
the things you say?</i>

1419
01:07:04.958 --> 01:07:05.958
(seagulls crying)

1420
01:07:05.958 --> 01:07:11.875
<i>You change your mind
from day to day</i>

1421
01:07:12.417 --> 01:07:17.208
<i>And I don't know if you can</i>

1422
01:07:17.208 --> 01:07:20.625
<i>take such a good thing</i>

1423
01:07:46.375 --> 01:07:47.458
(waves lapping)

1424
01:07:50.542 --> 01:07:52.000
IVARR: What's the snack
situation?

1425
01:07:52.542 --> 01:07:54.458
GUTHRAM: I hope it's good,
I'm so hungry.

1426
01:07:54.458 --> 01:07:55.792
(dramatic music)

1427
01:07:59.625 --> 01:08:00.708
(kings grunting)

1428
01:08:01.417 --> 01:08:03.208
- Very good.
- Ja.

1429
01:08:03.375 --> 01:08:05.375
Oh, God. Oh.

1430
01:08:07.375 --> 01:08:08.417
What a shit hole.

1431
01:08:08.417 --> 01:08:10.625
- Ja, it stinks.
- Yes. (laughs)

1432
01:08:11.125 --> 01:08:12.667
GUTHRAM: We shall drive
a hard bargain.

1433
01:08:12.667 --> 01:08:15.208
Ja, what other bargain would we
wanna drive, man?

1434
01:08:15.542 --> 01:08:17.332
I mean, it's us, yeah?

1435
01:08:17.750 --> 01:08:19.917
We're hardcore, all the time.

1436
01:08:20.042 --> 01:08:21.000
I am.

1437
01:08:21.000 --> 01:08:23.207
You? I've heard otherwise.

1438
01:08:23.332 --> 01:08:24.375
You mock me.

1439
01:08:24.750 --> 01:08:27.625
I'll spill your sorry guts on
the sand right here.

1440
01:08:27.875 --> 01:08:29.000
- You wanna go?
- Right here.

1441
01:08:29.000 --> 01:08:29.957
- You wanna go?
- On the sand.

1442
01:08:29.957 --> 01:08:31.457
- You wanna get crazy?
- You want a piece of it?

1443
01:08:31.457 --> 01:08:33.625
You wanna get crazy?
I'm gonna fuck you up.

1444
01:08:33.625 --> 01:08:34.667
Ja, you want?

1445
01:08:34.667 --> 01:08:37.125
Come on, let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go, let's go...

1446
01:08:37.125 --> 01:08:38.500
(men squabbling)

1447
01:08:40.832 --> 01:08:41.957
(laughs)

1448
01:08:41.957 --> 01:08:43.832
She thinks we may fight now.

1449
01:08:43.957 --> 01:08:45.957
(laughs) She does not know that
we are good friends,

1450
01:08:45.957 --> 01:08:48.375
whose mannish banter
is unmatched.

1451
01:08:48.375 --> 01:08:51.292
Yeah, just a couple of kings
fucking around.

1452
01:08:52.832 --> 01:08:54.582
You're bigger than I thought
you'd be.

1453
01:08:55.000 --> 01:08:56.832
But you're still pretty small.

1454
01:08:56.832 --> 01:08:58.542
King Ivarr, King Guthrum,

1455
01:08:58.875 --> 01:09:00.832
welcome to the Commonwealth
of the People.

1456
01:09:01.000 --> 01:09:02.542
Well done on the rebellion.

1457
01:09:02.917 --> 01:09:05.832
If you'd tried it in our lands,
you'd be very dead now.

1458
01:09:05.832 --> 01:09:07.457
Yeah, very dead.

1459
01:09:07.917 --> 01:09:11.207
But you did it here, so, you
know, we're cool with that.

1460
01:09:11.667 --> 01:09:12.750
Come this way.

1461
01:09:13.750 --> 01:09:14.750
IVARR: Thank you.

1462
01:09:16.042 --> 01:09:18.082
I don't trust her.
- GUTHRAM: No. Me neither.

1463
01:09:18.207 --> 01:09:19.625
She's so small.

1464
01:09:19.625 --> 01:09:21.417
(high tempo music)

1465
01:09:22.500 --> 01:09:24.082
Do you think Humble Joan's
around?

1466
01:09:24.082 --> 01:09:26.417
Well, Leofwine's not meeting
the kings, is she?

1467
01:09:28.792 --> 01:09:30.875
Yes, Humble Joan's here.

1468
01:09:31.125 --> 01:09:32.417
We'll give her what she wants,

1469
01:09:32.417 --> 01:09:34.082
and then she can't deny us
our silver.

1470
01:09:34.250 --> 01:09:35.542
We'll be wealthy?

1471
01:09:35.832 --> 01:09:39.082
You'll never have to shovel
again, and I'll serve no one.

1472
01:09:39.957 --> 01:09:42.082
I'm sick of looking after
the upper classes, Bobik.

1473
01:09:42.375 --> 01:09:43.750
I need to find my song.

1474
01:09:44.375 --> 01:09:45.375
Hey.

1475
01:09:45.917 --> 01:09:47.417
So, are we giving her Dagan?

1476
01:09:54.082 --> 01:09:56.125
Yes, we are.

1477
01:09:56.458 --> 01:09:58.667
Yeah.
(treacherous music)

1478
01:10:02.375 --> 01:10:04.708
So, this commonwealth malarky.

1479
01:10:05.083 --> 01:10:06.458
Does it have legs?

1480
01:10:07.000 --> 01:10:10.292
I mean, what if Dagan
gets back in, hmm?

1481
01:10:11.458 --> 01:10:13.458
(box opens, flies buzzing)
Urgh.

1482
01:10:13.458 --> 01:10:15.500
These were found on
her mangled corpse.

1483
01:10:15.500 --> 01:10:17.500
- GUTHRUM: That smells bad.
- IVARR: Ja, that's hers.

1484
01:10:17.500 --> 01:10:19.750
Your Majesties will need a
moment to mourn, I'm sure.

1485
01:10:19.750 --> 01:10:20.833
Eh.

1486
01:10:21.333 --> 01:10:22.625
It's no great loss.

1487
01:10:22.625 --> 01:10:23.708
Hmm.

1488
01:10:23.833 --> 01:10:26.917
Pagan Europe will just have to
struggle on without her.

1489
01:10:27.208 --> 01:10:29.167
Let us talk the flame-powder.

1490
01:10:29.500 --> 01:10:30.542
- Ja.
- Let's.

1491
01:10:30.542 --> 01:10:32.000
We've heard you're flat broke.

1492
01:10:32.000 --> 01:10:34.292
IVARR: I'm not.
I just raided Latvia.

1493
01:10:34.292 --> 01:10:35.958
(laughs) Very raidable is your
Latvia.

1494
01:10:35.958 --> 01:10:36.875
Ja.

1495
01:10:36.875 --> 01:10:39.917
GUTHRUM: So, this flame-powder,
does it really work?

1496
01:10:39.917 --> 01:10:43.500
IVARR: I'm thinking maybe we can
try out the flame-powder

1497
01:10:43.500 --> 01:10:44.875
on some peasants!

1498
01:10:44.875 --> 01:10:47.458
(sword swishes)
No. Approach, friends.

1499
01:10:47.708 --> 01:10:49.500
We don't kill commoners
for fun here.

1500
01:10:49.958 --> 01:10:50.958
Really?

1501
01:10:51.500 --> 01:10:52.667
What a bore.

1502
01:10:53.125 --> 01:10:55.125
- (scoffs)
- I like slaying peasants.

1503
01:10:55.125 --> 01:10:56.292
Ja, you have the mad skills.

1504
01:10:56.292 --> 01:10:57.792
JOAN: How goes the day, travellers?

1505
01:10:57.792 --> 01:10:59.792
Humble Joan, we've come to tell
you something.

1506
01:11:01.333 --> 01:11:03.458
To tell you that Queen Dagan...

1507
01:11:05.667 --> 01:11:06.750
(tense music)

1508
01:11:10.875 --> 01:11:13.792
Queen Dagan...
- Have we met before?

1509
01:11:17.917 --> 01:11:18.917
Speak.

1510
01:11:19.792 --> 01:11:21.375
There's nothing to fear.

1511
01:11:24.000 --> 01:11:25.208
Queen Dagan...

1512
01:11:27.417 --> 01:11:28.958
Nothing to fear indeed.

1513
01:11:29.917 --> 01:11:32.917
For Humble Joan...
protects us all.

1514
01:11:34.750 --> 01:11:37.083
Her steady hand guiding
the great...

1515
01:11:37.750 --> 01:11:39.792
plough shed of this nation.

1516
01:11:40.708 --> 01:11:45.125
Indeed, here is a woman whose
words you may trust.

1517
01:11:47.167 --> 01:11:48.167
(laughs)

1518
01:11:51.500 --> 01:11:52.500
Bye-bye.

1519
01:11:52.500 --> 01:11:53.583
(upbeat music)

1520
01:11:58.292 --> 01:12:00.500
Catch up with our friends
and invite them to stay awhile.

1521
01:12:01.208 --> 01:12:03.833
You, search the dunes where
they came from.

1522
01:12:04.833 --> 01:12:06.083
Something's going on here.

1523
01:12:06.458 --> 01:12:07.542
SOLDIER: Let's go.

1524
01:12:07.542 --> 01:12:09.000
(tense music)

1525
01:12:09.167 --> 01:12:10.333
Make haste.

1526
01:12:15.125 --> 01:12:16.625
(soldier coughing)

1527
01:12:18.500 --> 01:12:19.875
I hoped you'd come back.

1528
01:12:22.833 --> 01:12:25.125
Up you get... Dagan.

1529
01:12:26.875 --> 01:12:28.625
DAGAN: Ow! Get off!

1530
01:12:28.625 --> 01:12:31.625
I am still your queen!
How ruddy dare you?!

1531
01:12:31.833 --> 01:12:33.042
Ow!

1532
01:12:36.292 --> 01:12:38.708
You know, even if you offered
help to me now,

1533
01:12:38.708 --> 01:12:40.042
I would spurn it.

1534
01:12:42.875 --> 01:12:44.458
You don't happen to offer it,
do you?

1535
01:12:45.208 --> 01:12:46.667
Dagan's dead, you said.

1536
01:12:47.792 --> 01:12:51.625
Fortune has offered us a
subject for demonstration.

1537
01:12:52.583 --> 01:12:54.792
She is a queen,
dress her as such.

1538
01:12:54.917 --> 01:12:56.417
(tense music)

1539
01:13:01.417 --> 01:13:02.583
(box opens)

1540
01:13:02.583 --> 01:13:03.708
(dramatic music)

1541
01:13:05.958 --> 01:13:09.292
Our subject thinks much of her
dainty toes.

1542
01:13:09.292 --> 01:13:11.292
She is famous for her
lovely feet.

1543
01:13:11.292 --> 01:13:14.333
- Ja.
- We call this cord a fuse.

1544
01:13:15.500 --> 01:13:17.208
Simply light one end of it.

1545
01:13:18.750 --> 01:13:20.000
(flames burst)

1546
01:13:20.542 --> 01:13:21.958
(fuse sizzles)

1547
01:13:24.417 --> 01:13:26.208
(explosion)
(Dagan screams)

1548
01:13:26.542 --> 01:13:27.500
JOAN: Bang.

1549
01:13:30.583 --> 01:13:31.750
(Dagan groaning)

1550
01:13:36.500 --> 01:13:37.875
That was a little bang.

1551
01:13:39.042 --> 01:13:40.750
We came for large bangs.

1552
01:13:40.750 --> 01:13:42.208
Large bangs.

1553
01:13:42.208 --> 01:13:45.625
Large bangs, large bangs,
large bangs.

1554
01:13:45.625 --> 01:13:46.917
You will have one.

1555
01:13:47.792 --> 01:13:51.208
For now, we put our powder
in a tube of iron.

1556
01:13:53.292 --> 01:13:54.750
(cannon wheels squeak)

1557
01:13:56.667 --> 01:13:58.250
BOBIK: You said she knew nothing
of pain.

1558
01:13:58.250 --> 01:13:59.542
I know I did.

1559
01:14:00.625 --> 01:14:02.000
I think she does now.

1560
01:14:04.583 --> 01:14:06.208
Her foot is quite badly
fucked up.

1561
01:14:06.208 --> 01:14:07.375
Yeah, it really is.

1562
01:14:07.375 --> 01:14:09.750
I'm going to work my way around
your body, Dagan.

1563
01:14:10.167 --> 01:14:11.875
But first, tell me.

1564
01:14:12.583 --> 01:14:14.000
Is that the pair you
travelled with?

1565
01:14:16.375 --> 01:14:17.375
(gulps)

1566
01:14:18.292 --> 01:14:19.750
I don't know who they are.

1567
01:14:20.458 --> 01:14:21.958
JOAN: Well, whoever they are,

1568
01:14:21.958 --> 01:14:25.458
they're about to watch you
suffer very, very much.

1569
01:14:25.458 --> 01:14:26.500
Nice.

1570
01:14:26.500 --> 01:14:28.292
She could try to bargain with
our peasanty lives,

1571
01:14:28.292 --> 01:14:30.042
and yet she still doesn't give
us away.

1572
01:14:30.250 --> 01:14:31.292
JOAN: Primed and ready.

1573
01:14:31.292 --> 01:14:33.375
Let's see what it will do
to the human...

1574
01:14:33.375 --> 01:14:34.625
(tense music)

1575
01:14:34.833 --> 01:14:37.125
knee.
(cannons squeaks)

1576
01:14:38.292 --> 01:14:40.333
Again, we light the fuse.

1577
01:14:41.375 --> 01:14:42.375
SHULMAY: Hold.

1578
01:14:45.292 --> 01:14:48.458
We, the common people,
wish to avenge ourselves

1579
01:14:48.458 --> 01:14:50.750
on the tyrant.
(treacherous music)

1580
01:14:51.000 --> 01:14:52.292
Amuse us.

1581
01:14:52.708 --> 01:14:54.417
Give the peasant a go.

1582
01:14:58.375 --> 01:14:59.583
Nice and messy, please.

1583
01:14:59.583 --> 01:15:00.833
Chunks everywhere.

1584
01:15:02.250 --> 01:15:07.542
Dagan, let this show you where
we stand.

1585
01:15:09.125 --> 01:15:10.083
(flames burst)

1586
01:15:10.083 --> 01:15:11.500
(tense music)

1587
01:15:16.208 --> 01:15:17.417
(stick whirls through the air)

1588
01:15:17.417 --> 01:15:19.042
(flame fizzles out on the sand)

1589
01:15:20.833 --> 01:15:23.375
I think she meant to hurl it
into that chest.

1590
01:15:23.375 --> 01:15:24.833
Treachery!

1591
01:15:24.833 --> 01:15:26.833
Shulmay's a rotten throw,
but I'm not!

1592
01:15:27.167 --> 01:15:28.583
(thunk)
(laughs)

1593
01:15:28.583 --> 01:15:29.625
SOLDIER: Close it!

1594
01:15:29.625 --> 01:15:30.750
(lid bangs shut)

1595
01:15:31.167 --> 01:15:33.250
Ha! The powder needs air
to burn.

1596
01:15:33.250 --> 01:15:34.875
Starved of air,
it cannot catch...

1597
01:15:34.875 --> 01:15:37.542
(huge explosion)

1598
01:15:39.250 --> 01:15:40.917
(everyone coughing)

1599
01:15:43.167 --> 01:15:45.500
GUTHRUM: Bang, bang!
IVARR: Ja! (laughs)

1600
01:15:45.625 --> 01:15:46.833
That was a large bang!

1601
01:15:46.833 --> 01:15:48.250
JOAN: Guards!

1602
01:15:49.292 --> 01:15:50.292
BOBIK: Argh!

1603
01:15:50.667 --> 01:15:52.250
(punching)
(high tempo music)

1604
01:15:53.875 --> 01:15:55.833
(slap)
(Bobik choking)

1605
01:15:55.958 --> 01:15:57.042
(sword swishes)

1606
01:15:59.125 --> 01:16:00.292
(swords clang)
Argh!

1607
01:16:00.292 --> 01:16:01.375
(Joan laughs)

1608
01:16:02.292 --> 01:16:03.542
Oh, Dagan.

1609
01:16:03.708 --> 01:16:04.958
I've bested you once already,

1610
01:16:04.958 --> 01:16:06.833
now you're all starved
and leaking.

1611
01:16:06.833 --> 01:16:09.542
I fought for myself back then.
Now I fight for something else.

1612
01:16:10.500 --> 01:16:12.292
Argh!
(swords clang)

1613
01:16:13.250 --> 01:16:16.208
- Ladies, fighting with swords.
- Ja.

1614
01:16:16.208 --> 01:16:18.417
Argh!
(swords clanging)

1615
01:16:21.375 --> 01:16:22.625
(kicking sound)
(thump)

1616
01:16:23.417 --> 01:16:24.667
(Bobik choking)

1617
01:16:24.917 --> 01:16:26.500
Let me tell you a secret, Dagan.

1618
01:16:26.500 --> 01:16:27.583
(tense music)

1619
01:16:27.583 --> 01:16:29.958
I've begun to enjoy it
at the top of the tree.

1620
01:16:30.375 --> 01:16:32.625
I can tell you that,
'cause you'd understand.

1621
01:16:35.667 --> 01:16:36.792
(crown clangs on sword)

1622
01:16:41.500 --> 01:16:44.208
I was going to melt this down
for gold coin, but...

1623
01:16:45.167 --> 01:16:48.125
wouldn't it look fine on Joan's
most humble head?

1624
01:16:48.458 --> 01:16:50.333
'Take the crown, Joan!

1625
01:16:50.500 --> 01:16:52.208
You're the people's queen!'

1626
01:16:52.500 --> 01:16:54.500
'Oh, but I mustn't.'

1627
01:16:54.708 --> 01:16:56.375
'Oh, but we wish it!'

1628
01:16:56.375 --> 01:17:00.667
'Well, if I must.' (laughs)
(sword falls to the sand)

1629
01:17:02.500 --> 01:17:03.500
Oh!

1630
01:17:08.458 --> 01:17:09.833
(laughs evilly)

1631
01:17:09.833 --> 01:17:11.750
(ethereal music)
BOBIK: There's no sky.

1632
01:17:13.333 --> 01:17:14.542
It's just you...

1633
01:17:14.792 --> 01:17:15.792
<i>(screams) No!</i>

1634
01:17:16.000 --> 01:17:17.083
BOBIK:...the spade.

1635
01:17:17.833 --> 01:17:19.542
and the thing what must
be spaded.

1636
01:17:19.542 --> 01:17:20.833
(squelching)
(menacing singing)

1637
01:17:20.833 --> 01:17:22.875
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la...

1638
01:17:24.250 --> 01:17:25.833
(repeated stabbing sound)

1639
01:17:28.167 --> 01:17:29.417
(blood spurting)

1640
01:17:31.125 --> 01:17:32.500
(dangerous music)

1641
01:17:33.125 --> 01:17:34.167
(thump)

1642
01:17:36.000 --> 01:17:37.000
(crown clangs softly)

1643
01:17:41.792 --> 01:17:42.917
(dramatic violin music)

1644
01:17:46.917 --> 01:17:48.500
Humble Joan,

1645
01:17:49.292 --> 01:17:50.500
for eternity your
memory will...

1646
01:17:50.500 --> 01:17:51.667
(hard thump)

1647
01:17:54.458 --> 01:17:57.417
Oh, that was magnificent!
(applause)

1648
01:17:57.417 --> 01:17:58.917
- Outstanding!
- Ja!

1649
01:17:59.250 --> 01:18:00.792
- High funf!
- High funf!

1650
01:18:01.792 --> 01:18:04.875
Queen Dagan, we wanted you to
win all along.

1651
01:18:04.875 --> 01:18:06.333
I really enjoyed that.

1652
01:18:06.333 --> 01:18:07.833
- GUTHRUM: Right.
- IVARR: That was so good.

1653
01:18:07.833 --> 01:18:09.167
- GUTHRUM: Ja.
- IVARR: Ja.

1654
01:18:09.167 --> 01:18:10.500
(chatter fades out)

1655
01:18:11.208 --> 01:18:12.625
(Dagan groans)

1656
01:18:13.500 --> 01:18:15.333
My blood is falling out.

1657
01:18:16.208 --> 01:18:17.958
(blood drips)

1658
01:18:18.625 --> 01:18:20.625
My life ebbs away.

1659
01:18:23.125 --> 01:18:24.167
Dagan.

1660
01:18:25.833 --> 01:18:28.125
This land will need a ruler
when I'm gone.

1661
01:18:31.500 --> 01:18:33.292
I was a bastard.

1662
01:18:36.042 --> 01:18:37.042
Joan.

1663
01:18:38.125 --> 01:18:39.333
Leofwine.

1664
01:18:40.667 --> 01:18:42.250
Ivarr, Gunthrum.

1665
01:18:43.083 --> 01:18:44.958
We're all bastards.

1666
01:18:47.417 --> 01:18:52.167
Maybe countries need leaders
who aren't bastards.

1667
01:18:54.750 --> 01:18:56.000
Shulmay...

1668
01:18:57.292 --> 01:18:58.542
will you be queen?

1669
01:19:00.708 --> 01:19:02.042
I can't be queen.

1670
01:19:03.000 --> 01:19:03.958
Can I?

1671
01:19:04.083 --> 01:19:05.750
You were made for it.

1672
01:19:06.292 --> 01:19:07.375
Trust me.

1673
01:19:17.750 --> 01:19:18.917
Shulmay...

1674
01:19:23.917 --> 01:19:27.542
Do you promise to rule with
wisdom and kindness?

1675
01:19:28.333 --> 01:19:29.333
Yes.

1676
01:19:29.750 --> 01:19:30.792
Yes, I do.

1677
01:19:32.375 --> 01:19:33.583
Queen Shulmay.

1678
01:19:34.375 --> 01:19:36.167
I don't want to die on
the ground.

1679
01:19:37.000 --> 01:19:38.500
Help me up, my Queen.

1680
01:19:38.500 --> 01:19:39.750
(dramatic music)

1681
01:19:42.042 --> 01:19:43.333
(groans)

1682
01:19:45.417 --> 01:19:47.083
Uh, Queen Shulmay.

1683
01:19:47.458 --> 01:19:49.500
Any chance you could give us
the recipe

1684
01:19:49.500 --> 01:19:51.375
for the bang-bang powder?

1685
01:19:51.542 --> 01:19:52.583
No.

1686
01:19:54.208 --> 01:19:55.167
Just asking.

1687
01:19:55.167 --> 01:19:57.208
Yeah, no need to be snippy.

1688
01:19:57.625 --> 01:19:59.125
Come on. Let's go.

1689
01:19:59.708 --> 01:20:01.042
GUTHRUM: Which way is the boat?

1690
01:20:01.292 --> 01:20:03.208
IVARR: It was your job to
remember that.

1691
01:20:03.458 --> 01:20:06.292
GUTHRUM: Erm, it was close to
a very distinctive pebble.

1692
01:20:06.292 --> 01:20:09.583
IVARR: Oh ja, by that big, sort
of, sandy-coloured section.

1693
01:20:09.917 --> 01:20:11.083
(coughs)

1694
01:20:11.083 --> 01:20:12.583
(tense music)

1695
01:20:14.708 --> 01:20:15.708
Uh...

1696
01:20:17.250 --> 01:20:18.708
I see a snail.

1697
01:20:20.958 --> 01:20:22.542
Come, Big Liam.

1698
01:20:24.042 --> 01:20:25.125
I'm ready.

1699
01:20:25.125 --> 01:20:26.292
(ethereal music)

1700
01:20:28.167 --> 01:20:29.167
No.

1701
01:20:30.542 --> 01:20:31.625
Come.

1702
01:20:32.417 --> 01:20:34.167
Cease your approach,
Big Liam.

1703
01:20:35.542 --> 01:20:36.833
I've had an idea.

1704
01:20:38.542 --> 01:20:40.167
This will stop the bleeding.

1705
01:20:40.333 --> 01:20:42.500
Just a tiny pinch of
the powder.

1706
01:20:43.167 --> 01:20:46.167
DAGAN: Liam, I see you,
Big Liam. I'm ready.

1707
01:20:46.167 --> 01:20:48.125
That'll burn the wound shut.
Stand back.

1708
01:20:48.917 --> 01:20:50.000
(sizzling)

1709
01:20:52.958 --> 01:20:56.292
Ouch!
Fucking hell!

1710
01:20:56.292 --> 01:20:57.792
The bleeding's stopped.

1711
01:20:57.958 --> 01:20:59.125
Saved your life.

1712
01:21:05.542 --> 01:21:06.542
Come.

1713
01:21:09.208 --> 01:21:10.250
Thank you...

1714
01:21:12.500 --> 01:21:13.708
Earl Bobik.

1715
01:21:15.833 --> 01:21:17.000
I'm an earl!

1716
01:21:18.208 --> 01:21:20.167
Hey, I'm an earl!

1717
01:21:21.000 --> 01:21:22.250
A ruddy earl!

1718
01:21:24.375 --> 01:21:25.750
Oof.

1719
01:21:26.208 --> 01:21:27.375
Where are you off to?

1720
01:21:27.667 --> 01:21:29.250
Why, off to the citadel.

1721
01:21:29.583 --> 01:21:31.542
We have a coronation to arrange!

1722
01:21:31.667 --> 01:21:33.333
(upbeat marching music)

1723
01:21:33.792 --> 01:21:35.625
SHULMAY: <i>I'm the Queen!</i>

1724
01:21:35.625 --> 01:21:37.208
BOBIK: <i>You're the fucking Queen!</i>

1725
01:21:37.625 --> 01:21:39.542
SHULMAY: <i>I'm the Queen!</i>

1726
01:21:39.833 --> 01:21:41.750
Shulmay, you found your song!

1727
01:21:41.917 --> 01:21:43.125
(laughing)

1728
01:21:43.125 --> 01:21:45.208
<i>I'm the Queen!</i>

1729
01:21:45.500 --> 01:21:48.083
<i>The fucking Queen!</i>

1730
01:21:48.875 --> 01:21:51.208
DAGAN: And the crown stayed on
the right head.

1731
01:21:51.875 --> 01:21:53.958
The head it was meant for
all along.

1732
01:21:54.625 --> 01:21:58.667
Hooray for Queen Shulmay,
the people's queen!

1733
01:21:58.667 --> 01:21:59.750
(cheers and applause)

1734
01:22:01.208 --> 01:22:03.708
What about Bobik?
(laughs)

1735
01:22:04.292 --> 01:22:05.958
DAGAN: <i>I moved to a palace.</i>

1736
01:22:05.958 --> 01:22:09.625
<i>And I found my beloved countess.</i>

1737
01:22:10.958 --> 01:22:11.792
Here you are, dear.

1738
01:22:11.792 --> 01:22:15.917
DAGAN: And everybody lived
happily ever after.

1739
01:22:15.917 --> 01:22:17.167
The end.

1740
01:22:17.167 --> 01:22:18.792
Sorry for all the swearing.
(cheers and applause)

1741
01:22:21.125 --> 01:22:23.417
Thank you!
Thank you so much!

1742
01:22:23.417 --> 01:22:24.583
Many thanks!

1743
01:22:24.583 --> 01:22:26.042
Don't forget the puppeteer.

1744
01:22:26.042 --> 01:22:28.250
(coins jangling)
Thank you.

1745
01:22:28.875 --> 01:22:30.917
- GIRL: Thank you.
- DAGAN: Thanks.

1746
01:22:30.917 --> 01:22:32.708
Is it true what
the grown-ups say,

1747
01:22:32.708 --> 01:22:34.792
that you're the other queen in
the story?

1748
01:22:35.375 --> 01:22:36.375
What?

1749
01:22:36.958 --> 01:22:40.042
She was so mean and angry.

1750
01:22:40.333 --> 01:22:41.500
Nobody would want to
be her friend.

1751
01:22:41.500 --> 01:22:42.792
Do I look like her?

1752
01:22:43.542 --> 01:22:45.125
No, you don't.

1753
01:22:45.417 --> 01:22:46.583
So, it can't be me, can it?

1754
01:22:46.792 --> 01:22:47.625
(coins jangle)

1755
01:22:47.625 --> 01:22:50.042
Or at least it hasn't been for
a very long...

1756
01:22:50.042 --> 01:22:51.625
Oh, for goodness sake!

1757
01:22:52.917 --> 01:22:54.458
Seize them!

1758
01:22:54.458 --> 01:22:55.958
(upbeat music)

1759
01:23:00.625 --> 01:23:05.917
Shall I milk thy herd for you,
kind sir?

1760
01:23:06.458 --> 01:23:09.250 line:5%
<i>Hey, I'm in love.</i>

1761
01:23:10.417 --> 01:23:12.583
<i>My fingers keep on clicking
to the beat...</i>

1762
01:23:12.583 --> 01:23:14.167
He locked her away in a tower.

1763
01:23:14.750 --> 01:23:16.292
And anyone who spoke of
her again

1764
01:23:16.292 --> 01:23:18.000
would be pressed through
a cattle grid.

1765
01:23:18.708 --> 01:23:22.167 line:5%
<i>Ebony and ivory and dancing
and in the street</i>

1766
01:23:22.750 --> 01:23:27.083 line:5%
<i>Hey, it's 'cause of you
the world...</i>

1767
01:23:27.083 --> 01:23:31.000
I've heard she's done this:
poos in your wells.

1768
01:23:31.000 --> 01:23:34.083 line:5%
<i>My heart is beating like
a jungle drum</i>

1769
01:23:34.583 --> 01:23:36.875 line:5%
<i>Guda, dunga, dunga, dunga,
dung, dung, dung...</i>

1770
01:23:38.125 --> 01:23:39.417
I'm gonna fuck you up!

1771
01:23:39.417 --> 01:23:42.542
Come on, let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go, let's go.

1772
01:23:44.042 --> 01:23:45.833 line:5%
<i>...like a jungle drum</i>

1773
01:23:50.833 --> 01:23:53.125 line:5%
What, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee,
dee, dee, dee.

1774
01:23:53.125 --> 01:23:56.000 line:5%
<i>...the moment between
the striking and the fire</i>

1775
01:23:58.875 --> 01:24:00.333 line:5%
- A dragon, then.
- SHULMAY: They're not real.

1776
01:24:00.333 --> 01:24:02.000 line:5%
(laughs) Fuck off.

1777
01:24:02.000 --> 01:24:04.167 line:5%
<i>...kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss</i>

1778
01:24:05.333 --> 01:24:08.958 line:5%
<i>No one ever stopped</i>

1779
01:24:09.125 --> 01:24:13.000
<i>My hands are in the air,
yes, I'm in love</i>

1780
01:24:13.125 --> 01:24:16.958
<i>My heart is beating like
a jungle drum</i>

1781
01:24:17.208 --> 01:24:19.208
<i>Guda, dunga, dunga, dunga,
dung, dung, dung</i>

1782
01:24:19.208 --> 01:24:22.792
<i>My heart is beating like
a jungle drum</i>

1783
01:24:23.292 --> 01:24:25.375
<i>Guda, dunga, dunga, dunga,
dung, dung, dung</i>

1784
01:24:25.375 --> 01:24:28.958
<i>My heart is beating like
a jungle drum</i>

1785
01:24:29.375 --> 01:24:31.375
<i>Rung, dung, da-rung,
gung, gung...</i>

1786
01:24:31.375 --> 01:24:35.333
<i>My heart is beating like
a jungle drum</i>

1787
01:24:35.542 --> 01:24:37.500
<i>Rung, dung, da-rung,
gung, gung...</i>

1788
01:24:37.500 --> 01:24:41.292
<i>My heart is beating like
a jungle drum</i>

1789
01:24:41.458 --> 01:24:43.542
<i>Rung, dung, da-rung,
gung, gung...</i>

1790
01:24:43.542 --> 01:24:46.833
<i>My heart is beating like
a jungle drum</i>

1791
01:24:50.375 --> 01:24:53.750
<i>Rung, dung, da-rung, gung,
gung...(repeated)</i>

1792
01:25:05.875 --> 01:25:13.750
<i>My heart is beating like
a jungle drum</i>

1793
01:25:13.917 --> 01:25:17.750
<i>My heart is beating like
a jungle drum</i>

1794
01:25:17.917 --> 01:25:20.292
<i>My heart is beating like
a jungle...</i>

1795
01:25:20.292 --> 01:25:22.625
<i>Rung, dung, da-rung,
gung, gung...</i>

1796
01:25:23.375 --> 01:25:25.292
(upbeat marching music)

1797
01:30:57.667 --> 01:31:00.125 line:5%
LEOFWINE: I'm alive, Dagan!

1798
01:31:00.125 --> 01:31:03.542 line:5%
I'm still alive!
(gurgles)