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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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[director] Okay, Will,
whenever you're ready.

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[Will] Okay, just walking
into the room and

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sitting down the way you sometimes see
at the top of a documentary.

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Where they use the B-roll,

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but the person... the subject
didn't realize they were gonna use it.

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But it's all natural.

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Hi there. I'm Will Ferrell.
One of the greatest actors in the world.

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[dramatic beat]

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[Will] A long time ago,
back when I was at <i>Saturday Night Live</i>...

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[woman] Will Ferrell.

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I haven't made
a lot of friends here. Really.

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...I met a guy named Andrew Steele.

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He was hired as a writer
the same week I was hired to perform.

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Hello, I'm Robert Goulet.

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He wrote a bunch of sketches for me.

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Hello, you got Saddam.

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And he eventually became
the head writer of <i>SNL.</i>

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Will you put the antlers down?

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[Will] Andrew was Iowa-born and raised.

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501 jeans,

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shitty beer,

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hitchhiking type of guy.

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- Three days.
- [truck horn honking]

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No sleep.

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[Will] Basically, a lovable curmudgeon

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with a super weird,
creative sense of humor.

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[Steele] We worked
at <i>Saturday Night Live</i> for years,

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and he kept bringing up

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that he wanted to do
an after-school special.

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Do you know the dangers
of diabetic ketoacidosis?

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[audience laughing]

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[Will] We goofed off a lot.

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We drank a lot.

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If you've ever
scratched your head and said,

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"Why did Will Ferrell make that?"

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there's a good chance
Andrew Steele was involved.

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Why did I make a Lifetime TV movie?

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Sarah can work.
I'll stay at home with the kids.

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Why did I make a movie all in Spanish?

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{\an8}[in Spanish] Let's have
a race back to the house!

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{\an8}[in English] Why did I make
a bunch of commercials for a shitty beer?

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While this was all happening,
we both got married,

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became dads,

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and, over the years,

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he became one of my closest friends.

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When the pandemic hit,
we didn't see each other for a long time.

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And then one day, I was in the middle
of shooting a movie in Boston,

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and I got this email from Andrew.

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"Hey, Will."

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"Something I need you to know."

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"I'm old now,

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and, as ridiculous and unnecessary
as it may seem to report,

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I'll be transitioning to live as a woman."

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[Steele] "In the last ten years,

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I've been trying to understand
what's going on."

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"Tried to get rid of it
over and over again throughout my life."

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"Now I'm giving up the fight."

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"When I was young,
I thought all boys felt like me."

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"Then I thought,
'Maybe I'm just a weirdo.'"

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"Then I pushed it away for many years
and ended up in therapy."

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"It's a wonderful thing
when your mind and body

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revolt against the unnatural,
despondent thing you've become."

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"I doubt being a trans woman
will change my personality that much."

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"Instead of an asshole, I'll be a bitch."

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"I think it's made me a lot happier."

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"I'd like to say my happiness
translates to a bright, carefree future

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full of courage and confidence,
but no such luck."

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"I... I carry self-doubt and fear around me,

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like the comedian I've been
my whole life."

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"I'm not gonna be good at this."

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[poignant music playing]

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"It's really going to be slow
and awkward and terrifying and joyful."

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"Mainly, I'm hoping
I don't lose anyone I care about."

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"Thanks, name forthcoming."

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That letter was really hard to send.

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I kept rewriting it
over and over again and

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trying to say what I wanted to say.

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It was just... whoa.

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This is... crazy.

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The biggest question when people come out
of the closet is, "Will I still be loved?"

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I've met trans people
who were not loved when they came out.

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I don't doubt that Will is my friend,

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but I'm not Andrew Steele anymore.

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Okay, where do we go from here?

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[poignant music continues]

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[music fades]

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[wind blowing]

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[bird calling]

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[river water flowing]

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[footsteps echoing]

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["I Wonder, I Wonder, I Wonder" playing]

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[Harper] When I sent
the email out to Will,

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he responded pretty quickly
that he supported me coming out.

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[chickens clucking]

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<i>♪ All by myself
Alone at home feeling blue</i>... <i>♪</i>

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[Will] I wrote her a note
saying I loved her and supported her,

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and we'd check in with each other
whenever we could.

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Oh!

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Jackpot!

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But... I still had a lot of questions.

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[Harper] And I have
a lot of questions I wanna ask Will.

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Like what does being trans mean to him?
Does he think I'm a woman?

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Does he know any trans people besides me?

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Why the name Harper?

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And how long did she feel this way?

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What made her keep this in for so long?

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Is he curious about hormones
and surgeries and hair removal?

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Does he wanna ask me all the questions
you're not supposed to ask trans people?

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Does she still like shitty beer?

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Why does he think
Natty Light is a terrible beer?

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Or is she just totally into wine now?

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It's a fucking delicious beer.
It's the best beer out there.

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How am I supposed to treat her?
Does she want it to change?

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Will I be making a completely new friend?

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["Freightliner Fever" playing]

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Hello?

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[Harper] So then he called me,

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and his idea at the time was, he knows
that I've been across this country

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almost as much as a truck driver.

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I've driven it. I hitchhiked. I...
I've been everywhere. I love it so much.

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I made it.

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I just don't know
if it loves me back right now.

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After she had come out and transitioned,
she had kind of lamented,

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"Gosh, I don't know if I can go
to these same places as Harper."

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A kind of light bulb went off in my head
and was like,

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"Harper, would you wanna do a road trip

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where we visit these places
as this new version of yourself?"

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"And at the same time,

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we'd figure out
what this all means to us."

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<i>♪ I drive a big freightliner
An' I made my last payment today ♪</i>

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<i>♪ An' I drive to all the points
Outta New York City to LA</i>... <i>♪</i>

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[Harper] When I road-tripped as a guy,

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I brought three T-shirts,

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three underwears... [chuckling]

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...and a pair of jeans.

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Yeah, this is gonna be hard.
And the shoes are the hardest part.

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Oh my God.

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Every way
that this suitcase can be expanded,

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I'm going to expand it.

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<i>♪ Giddyup-go... ♪</i>

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Okay.

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<i>♪ Gonna pass Red Simpson
And his runaway truck... ♪</i>

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I just brought a couple pair of shoes
'cause that's all you really need.

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I got this deer hunter jacket,

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which I'll probably hardly wear.

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Sherlock Holmes costume.
I think I should bring it.

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I'm just worried this isn't gonna fit.

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[softly] Dang it.

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I have to leave the alto sax.

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[Harper] You gotta bring chairs
on a road trip.

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Gotta have chairs, a cooler.

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You never know when you're gonna stop

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and need to drink a cold Natty Light

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or whatever Will drinks.

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Some kind of craft beer.

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Probably tastes like an orange.

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[outgoing call tone]

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[both chuckle]

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<i>Harper.</i>

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Look at you.

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<i>- I'm stuck in Dallas right now.
-</i> [laughing]

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[Will laughs]

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<i>We got diverted</i>

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<i>'cause there was
a air pressure situation in the cabin.</i>

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<i>I incessantly rang my call button.</i>

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<i>- I said, "Do they need help up there?"</i>
- Right. Of course.

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<i>And they said, "Please, sir."</i>

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- [Harper chuckles] You're--
<i>-"Please relax."</i>

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<i>And I said, "</i> You <i>relax."</i>

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<i>So we actua--
We got thrown off the flight.</i>

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[both laughing]

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<i>You're picking me up, right?</i>

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- [Harper] Gonna pick you up in the city.
- <i>All right.</i>

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- Hey, I'll see you in New York, okay?
- <i>Okay. Bye-bye.</i>

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[adventurous music playing]

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[engine starts]

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[Harper] We have
16 days out there on the road.

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I'm sure a lot of things will come up,
but... it... it's weird.

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We are good friends. [chuckles]

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But are we?
Like, it's a weird thing to say.

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I was always Harper Steele.

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So Will was always
friends with Harper Steele.

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But there was this persona
that he was also friends with

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that I don't particularly like
or need right now.

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<i>Harper, I made it onto the flight.</i>

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<i>Um...</i> [clicks tongue]

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00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,227
<i>All systems go.</i>

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00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:06,981
[Will] So many of us don't know
what the rules of engagement are.

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00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:10,610
And in terms of our friendship
and our relationship,

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00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,820
it's... it's... it's uncharted waters.

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00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,281
<i>I'll see you later. Bye.</i>

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00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,496
[Harper] I don't know why
he picked some weird spot.

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00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:25,958
Maybe it's just a celebrity thing.
He doesn't like to be out in the open.

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00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,588
What the fuck? Oh my God.

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[Will] Yeah.

198
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,217
You made it.

199
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,847
- [car door closes]
- Thanks for picking me up.

200
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,350
- [Harper] What is this?
- Yeah. Van Cortlandt.

201
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,601
- Oh, that's--
- Remember?

202
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,519
- [Harper] Oh, hey, old buddy.
- How are ya?

203
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:46,479
I do remember.

204
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,899
- Remember all our--
- Yeah, we golfed up here two times.

205
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,901
I still have my... my card.

206
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:54,403
My New York City golf permit.

207
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:56,656
- [Harper] Wanna get in a round?
- Let's get in a round.

208
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,699
- [Harper] Okay. Oh Jesus.
- [laughing]

209
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,661
- You look great, by the way.
- [Harper] Oh, hey, thank you.

210
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:02,912
I love your jacket.

211
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:05,373
- I'm an expert packer.
- Oh yeah. That's--

212
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:08,125
- There we go.
- Yeah, no. That'll stay.

213
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,251
[both chuckling]

214
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,712
I can't wait to get in this.

215
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,299
How does this baby handle?

216
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:17,009
- [Harper] Uh, shittily.
- [laughs]

217
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:20,429
- [Harper] It handles shittily.
- Shag carpet everywhere.

218
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:22,723
- [Harper] So comfortable.
- Oh, it's so luxurious.

219
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:25,184
- [Harper] So luxurious. Let's go.
- All right, let's go.

220
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,103
["Amoreena" by Elton John playing]

221
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:40,533
I'd say we're gonna leave the city,
but I wanna have breakfast with my kids,

222
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,702
and then we'll hit the road after that.

223
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:51,210
[Will] I'm excited to see your kids again.
I haven't seen them in a long time.

224
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,169
[E] Hey!

225
00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:53,462
- [Harper] Hey!
- [Will] Hi, guys.

226
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:55,840
- [E] Good morning.
- [Will] Good morning.

227
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,134
- [E] How you doing, buddy?
- Good to see ya.

228
00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,969
Emma, I haven't seen you...
When was the last...

229
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:03,889
I saw you at <i>SNL</i> one time, I think,
like, maybe three or four...

230
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,684
- Before the pandemic.
- [Will] I met you even before that.

231
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:08,686
- You guys were all super little.
- [Emma] Yeah.

232
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:11,731
And at one point,
you brought out a little tiny saxophone?

233
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,648
- I did?
- Yeah.

234
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,859
And you started doing a bit, like...

235
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,902
[singing] <i>♪ Playing in a family band ♪</i>

236
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,028
- Really?
- And then--

237
00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:21,532
- I didn't know you could play.
- [Will] Then I played a little instrument.

238
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:25,745
And you two just stared at us like,
"This is not funny, nor is it good."

239
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,038
[all laughing]

240
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:30,249
- [Will] Now here's the dilemma.
- [Harper] Okay, uh-oh.

241
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,834
- There's a Greek omelet.
- Yeah.

242
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,502
And there's an Athenian omelet.

243
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,004
- [Will] The--
- [giggling]

244
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,256
- [server] Hello. Take your order?
- Hello.

245
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,758
- Yes.
- [server] What shall I get you?

246
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:42,136
- Okay.
- Do you have sis-- some tzatziki?

247
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,054
- Yeah, we do.
- [Will] Oh!

248
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:47,099
- It's a Greek diner.
- For the table. Tzatziki for the table.

249
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,226
- [Harper] No--
- No, not for the table.

250
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:51,687
- [server] Thank you so much.
- Thank you. Thank you.

251
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,691
Um... uh... What... So...

252
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,235
I wanna be clear.

253
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,155
Harper, you still... Harper's still Dad.

254
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,532
Harper's still Dad, still Pop.

255
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:04,533
- [Will] Pop.
- Pop.

256
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,118
But pronouns, she.

257
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,453
- [E] She.
- [Emma] Yeah.

258
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,706
Harper's still Dad because she said
she was Dad, you know?

259
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:14,251
How... how did you give the news?
Did you guys all get together?

260
00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:15,544
- [Harper] No.
- No, email.

261
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:16,837
- Just like you.
- Oh.

262
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:19,256
I was at Popeyes.
I was picking up my biscuit.

263
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,342
- [Will] Right.
- And I go, "Holy shit."

264
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,385
- [Will] Holy shit.
-"I gotta pull over for this."

265
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:27,556
[Emma] I mean, when the divorce happened,
we kind of knew a little bit.

266
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:31,310
We got that note about... from Harper
about how we might find women's clothes.

267
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,437
She was wearing women's clothes.
I was like, "Okay."

268
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:38,609
And then after that, we got the full,
you know, "I'm using she/her pronouns."

269
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:40,820
- [Will] Yeah.
- So it felt gradual to me.

270
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,238
It didn't feel like a shock.

271
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,073
For the most part,

272
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:46,408
you guys just took it in stride.
Or was it--

273
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:49,036
- It was easy to accept immediately.
- [Will] Right.

274
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,663
But, um, for me,

275
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:54,500
I think I had a moment of, like, um...

276
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,461
My dad was
my only sort of masculine representation,

277
00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:59,880
and so I sort of idolized that
in a weird way.

278
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,508
Still my dad, but I think, for me,

279
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,469
the only thing I lost
was that masculine figure,

280
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:07,346
but you don't really need it.

281
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,641
- [server] Food is here!
- [Will] Gorgeous.

282
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,601
- You're gonna love it.
- [Will] You called it.

283
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:16,063
- [server] And tza-tza-tza-tza...
- Yes. Everyone, get your own.

284
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:18,858
- Yes! Tza... Yeah, tza-tza-tza...
- [server] Tzatziki!

285
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,276
[laughter]

286
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:23,237
- [Will] Aah.
- [Harper] You guys know what we're doing?

287
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:24,613
- Yeah.
- [Harper] Okay.

288
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:27,616
Are you guys worried about me
on this trip at all?

289
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,495
[child 1] I think I'm more worried
about your mental health.

290
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:33,747
I'm more worried
about your physical safety.

291
00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:34,665
- [Harper] Yeah.
- Like...

292
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:39,962
But also, the things you love scare me
sometimes. Being in the middle of nowhere.

293
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,046
- Yeah.
- Especially--

294
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:44,008
I'm actually learning to be
a little more afraid of that stuff.

295
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,676
After this transition, it's scary.

296
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:48,262
I'll be honest, I wrestle with, like,
"Why am I doing this?"

297
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,723
And, um, at first, I was like,
"I'm not gonna do it."

298
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,142
And then I just started to think about,

299
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:57,021
like, well, coming out
was really hard for me,

300
00:14:57,021 --> 00:15:00,107
and, um, it may be... stupid,

301
00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:04,612
but I felt like that might be a good way
for me to come out more, basically.

302
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:05,654
- Yeah.
- [Harper] Like...

303
00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:08,198
Does it help to know I take jujitsu?

304
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,035
- Yeah.
- [Will] Twice a month.

305
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:13,829
Could you demonstrate something
or send a video?

306
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,623
'Cause I... I... I don't see it,

307
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:18,083
but I could... I guess I could see it, but...

308
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:21,378
I usually don't like to do my practice
on a full stomach.

309
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:22,421
- Okay.
- [Will] Yeah.

310
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:23,923
All right. Well...

311
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,674
- Yeah. Uh...
- [laughter]

312
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,385
Yeah, we gotta get going, but I really--

313
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:30,346
I could talk to you guys
on the phone tomorrow.

314
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:31,931
- Yeah, sure.
- All right, yeah.

315
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,475
- [Emma] I love you.
- I love you. Bye.

316
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:35,643
- I love you too.
- Hey.

317
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:38,103
- I love you.
- I love you so much.

318
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,147
[poignant piano music playing]

319
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:46,612
- [Will] By the way, for the record...
- [Harper] Yeah, for the record.

320
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,989
I'm very excited
to be on this trip with you.

321
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,950
- Oh good. Yeah.
- Yeah.

322
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,037
- [Will] Let me ask you this.
- Yeah.

323
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:57,122
<i>Saturday Night Live.</i>

324
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,332
- Oh yeah.
- Right?

325
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,459
Back to where it all started,
where we first met.

326
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,253
- Have you been back in the buil--
- No.

327
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:04,296
Wow!

328
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:08,467
By the way, when we see Lorne,
let's both hug him, like, way too long.

329
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:09,510
[snickering]

330
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:10,803
You can do that.

331
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,430
- You can do it too.
- Okay, all right.

332
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,641
[both] Oh!

333
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,978
- [Will] Oh, NBC Studios. Here we are.
- Oh, look at this.

334
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,604
Oh my goodness.

335
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,356
["The Oogum Boogum Song" playing]

336
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:25,442
- Enter if you dare.
- [chuckling]

337
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:28,696
<i>♪ Boogum now, baby
You're casting your spell on me</i>... <i>♪</i>

338
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:31,699
Bing!

339
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:34,535
- Look at that fresh face.
- [Harper] Look at that handsome young--

340
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:35,744
[Will] Yeah, what happened?

341
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:38,539
- One of the great Harper Steele creations.
- Mm.

342
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:41,333
- [Will] "Oops, I Crapped My Pants."
- Oh shit.

343
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:43,752
[indistinct chattering]

344
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,088
[Harper] We're gonna do this.
We'll do this.

345
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,089
Yeah.

346
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:50,384
- Okay, we're gonna do a group hug.
- [man] Okay, sure.

347
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:53,679
<i>- ♪ ...that I am crazy 'bout you? ♪</i>
- [indistinct chattering]

348
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,764
[both chuckling]

349
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:58,559
<i>♪ Now go on now with your bad self... ♪</i>

350
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:02,730
[Harper] My office was right down there
when I had the windows.

351
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,274
And all the girls, Maya and Amy,

352
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,191
were in here.

353
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:10,612
<i>♪ Now mercy, mercy on me, all right... ♪</i>

354
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,573
[Harper] Yeah, this was a terrifying room.

355
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:16,744
Although I guess if you were in here
between dress and air as a writer,

356
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:20,205
this was... actually meant
that your sketch got on, so...

357
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,459
- [Will] Right.
- So that was a good thing.

358
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,045
{\an8}I'm Will Ferrell,

359
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:31,050
{\an8}and, uh, this will be, uh, the voice
of the Chicago Cubs, Mr. Harry Caray.

360
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:34,595
{\an8}[Harper] That first week,
we went downstairs to lunch.

361
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:38,474
And there was
just something about the two of us

362
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:41,143
where we were
kind of on the same wavelength

363
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:42,686
in a lot of different ways--

364
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:45,856
[Will] I do remember
I was trying to get to know everyone.

365
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:48,692
And there was a group of people
looking at me or like,

366
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:51,820
"We don't get what this guy does.
He doesn't seem that funny."

367
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,364
[Harper] They all thought
Will Ferrell was a dud.

368
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,658
[chuckling] But, you know, I just...

369
00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:58,702
I knew that Will was not the dud.

370
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,663
[Will] You were just an ambassador for me

371
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:05,042
to be like, "No, don't write him off.
He's actually really funny."

372
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,628
[Paula Pell] Last read-through.

373
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,880
Lots of food, lots of scripts.

374
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,423
[Harper] We've been around each other

375
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,926
in a lot of circumstances
that are very strange.

376
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,386
My whole writing career,
my whole creative life,

377
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:21,016
I performed as a character named Andrew.
That's the way I think about it, at least.

378
00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:26,605
And so coming out to my friends
was especially hard.

379
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:31,652
And I really can't tell
if they think I'm Harper.

380
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:34,947
I think they might think
that I'm still Andrew,

381
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,323
and now I wear dresses.

382
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,536
- Tina! Oh my goodness. Thank you.
- [Will] Yay!

383
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:41,995
- [Tina] Nice to see you!
- Oh my God.

384
00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:43,705
- Hey.
- Hey!

385
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:46,208
[excited cheering, laughter]

386
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,627
[laughter]

387
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:51,380
[Harper] Uh, thank you,
everyone, for coming.

388
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,674
This is very heartening for me. I...

389
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:57,052
When I came out,
all of you responded. Everyone--

390
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:59,263
- Tim was a little negative. But--
- [laughter]

391
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,265
I thought she was joking at first.

392
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:05,060
- [Harper] I fucking... I love him.
-"She's joking. This is not fucking real."

393
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:08,939
I'm gonna send
the most racist, sexist jokes back to her

394
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,190
and see what she says.

395
00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:11,358
[laughter]

396
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,693
- Hey, cheers.
- [Will] Yes.

397
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,611
- Here's to Harper!
- [Harper] Thank you!

398
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:15,779
Thank... thank you.

399
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:19,658
So you... you're driving.
You're driving for how long, where?

400
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,077
Okay, we're gonna drive down to D.C.,

401
00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,872
and then
we're gonna cut down to Indianapolis.

402
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:27,708
- We're gonna go see a Pacers game.
- [Tina] Wow.

403
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,210
Then we're gonna go to Iowa City,

404
00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:31,795
where I was raised.

405
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,130
Do you have family there?

406
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,465
[Harper] My sister.
We're gonna walk through the old house.

407
00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:36,717
And then...

408
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:37,759
Oklahoma, maybe?

409
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,137
[Harper] We're going to
the stock car race in Oklahoma.

410
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:43,599
[Paula] What are you most
looking forward to on this trip?

411
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:44,766
[Harper] Here's the thing.

412
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:47,019
- Will proposed the idea...
- [Will] Yeah.

413
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:50,314
...knowing that my transition might change

414
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,816
the way I navigate the country,
which is true.

415
00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:54,902
- [Will] That is true.
- Absolutely true.

416
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,987
- I fear it. I do fear it.
- [Tina] Sure.

417
00:19:56,987 --> 00:20:00,365
Um, Will knows that I like shitty bars,
I like truck stops.

418
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:03,035
- I like the lowest, worst places.
- [Tina] Mm-hmm.

419
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,203
Yes!

420
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:07,831
I walked down an alley
a couple... a couple weeks ago,

421
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:10,417
and I was like, "Nope, I don't like this."

422
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:12,461
- [Will] Don't do that...
- Not safe for you anymore.

423
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:15,422
- [Harper] Yeah.
- When is it safe to walk down an alley?

424
00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:16,882
[all laughing]

425
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:21,220
No one's ever asked a you
for the list of your places.

426
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,597
If anyone goes somewhere
where you've been,

427
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,390
no one said, "Ooh, I'd love your list."

428
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:29,311
"What corners have
the best dumpsters of found furniture?"

429
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,230
- And I have that list.
- [laughter]

430
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,773
Will will be in the car.

431
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:35,484
I'm a narcoleptic,
and I'm not a good driver.

432
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:36,902
[laughter]

433
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,695
["Long Road Ahead" by Jim Ford playing]

434
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:40,405
<i>♪ Say look-a-here, mister ♪</i>

435
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:47,371
<i>♪ I need a place to stay tonight... ♪</i>

436
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:50,791
- [inaudible]
<i>- ♪ A hotel room is fine</i>... <i>♪</i>

437
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,126
- [Will] How are you feeling?
- [Harper] Good.

438
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:56,380
[Will] All right, fine.
Well, there's no turning back now, so...

439
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,924
- [Harper] Oh, okay. Oh jeez.
- [both chuckle]

440
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,009
<i>♪ I'm only passing through, mister ♪</i>

441
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:03,470
<i>♪ There's a long road ahead ♪</i>

442
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,808
<i>♪ I got a lot to leave behind ♪</i>

443
00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:11,687
<i>♪ That's the gospel truth, mister... ♪</i>

444
00:21:12,479 --> 00:21:15,399
- [Will] Okay, so here's a question.
- [Harper] Okay. Oh, okay.

445
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:18,277
[Will] I'm curious
how you settled on your name.

446
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,320
Yeah. So my dead name's Andrew.

447
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,905
- I was Andrew, you know.
- Yeah.

448
00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:22,823
Um...

449
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:28,996
And... So my first impulse
was to make it easy on everyone else.

450
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,207
You know? Like, this...

451
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:36,295
I'm... I'm... I'm like, "Hey, I'm... Hey,
there's nothing weird going on over here."

452
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,338
-"So I'm just changing--"
-"Nothing to see."

453
00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:41,091
"Nothing to see.
I'm just gonna change Andrew to Angie."

454
00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:42,884
-"You guys, that's pretty easy."
- Yeah.

455
00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:47,014
And then I was driving down
to my first electrolysis thing,

456
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:49,266
and I was saying the name in my head,

457
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:51,768
and it just sounded like
wet cardboard to me.

458
00:21:51,768 --> 00:21:54,813
- Yeah.
- It sounded like, "Ugh. This is wrong."

459
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:59,192
So I started trying to,
like, imagine other names.

460
00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:02,863
Like, I mean, I was thinking Chandelier.

461
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:03,989
[laughing]

462
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:07,034
And then I go,
"Harper. You love the name Harper."

463
00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:11,955
My mother went to school with Harper Lee,

464
00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:15,334
the person, the woman
who wrote <i>To Kill a Mockingbird.</i>

465
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:18,920
- [Will] Right.
- When I said it, my whole body felt warm.

466
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,505
- Wow.
- And I was like--

467
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:24,301
- You literally had a visceral reaction.
- I did. I said it out loud.

468
00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:26,595
I was saying them out loud.
I said, "Harper."

469
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:30,557
And I was like, "Ooh, wow. That...
That's it. That's what it's gonna be."

470
00:22:30,557 --> 00:22:31,808
- Gosh.
- And that was it.

471
00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:35,062
Yeah, if you had to change your name,
what would you do?

472
00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:37,814
[Will] I hated my name growing up.

473
00:22:37,814 --> 00:22:39,775
My real name is John William.

474
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:44,112
- But my folks called me Will.
- Yeah.

475
00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:45,697
And I remember in first grade,

476
00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:50,410
there were six or seven kids
who either had the name Mike or Steve.

477
00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:51,328
Oh, okay.

478
00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:52,913
And I just was like, "Please."

479
00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:55,499
-"Why can't I be a Mike or a Steve?"
-"Or a Steve."

480
00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:59,002
- Those names were cool and tough.
-"Why do I have this weird name?"

481
00:22:59,002 --> 00:23:01,213
- And hard. Yeah. I would--
- Like Steve.

482
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:02,297
"What's up, Steve?"

483
00:23:02,297 --> 00:23:03,423
- Yeah.
- And Mike.

484
00:23:03,924 --> 00:23:05,842
[upbeat music playing]

485
00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:08,720
[Will] I'm gonna take this time
to thank you

486
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,807
for letting us visit the nation's capital.

487
00:23:12,432 --> 00:23:14,017
One of my favorite cities.

488
00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:18,021
- [Harper] I'm not a big D.C. person.
- Oh, you don't love American history?

489
00:23:18,021 --> 00:23:20,565
[Harper] Oh shit. Come on.

490
00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:24,111
- I just think D.C. is a little boring.
- [Will] We're gonna change that.

491
00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:27,656
I wanna show you
something that's very special.

492
00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:28,573
[Harper] Okay.

493
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:32,035
- It's right here.
- [Harper] Uh-huh. Parking lot?

494
00:23:32,035 --> 00:23:33,328
[Will] The reflecting pool.

495
00:23:33,328 --> 00:23:36,039
- [Harper] Oh, there's no water in it.
- There's some water.

496
00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:38,166
Right down here.

497
00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:41,086
Magnificent, right?

498
00:23:43,547 --> 00:23:44,631
Ooh, I'm nervous.

499
00:23:44,631 --> 00:23:45,882
[Harper] Yeah, me too.

500
00:23:45,882 --> 00:23:49,261
The next 15 minutes, we could be
talking with President Joe Biden.

501
00:23:50,345 --> 00:23:52,889
- How do you think we're getting in there?
- 'Cause of this.

502
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:54,433
- The moneymaker.
- Yeah.

503
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,811
Is the president in there?
We just wanna say hi to the president.

504
00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:59,354
Hey! Joe!

505
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:01,231
No, no, he's not there.

506
00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:03,775
["Wires" continues playing]

507
00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:08,363
[Harper] You know, for years,
I crossed this country in a dress,

508
00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:09,906
but I never let anyone see me.

509
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,909
So if I had to get out and get gas,

510
00:24:12,909 --> 00:24:16,329
there's this furtive,
and embarrassing, and hurried attempt

511
00:24:16,329 --> 00:24:18,165
to throw on
a pair of overalls or something.

512
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:20,500
- And look like a guy and--
- [Will] Yeah.

513
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:23,462
[Harper] I used to bring
an emergency set of clothes with me.

514
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:26,798
The fear of having a cop pull me over
for a speeding ticket...

515
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:27,716
[siren wails]

516
00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:29,050
...and be dressed as a woman was...

517
00:24:29,050 --> 00:24:30,469
- It was horrible.
- [Will] Right.

518
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:31,761
[Harper] Now... [chuckles]

519
00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:33,972
...going out into the world just as me,

520
00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:38,268
without any chance
of going stealth as Andrew again,

521
00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:43,315
I will see the country that I love
as myself, which I've never done.

522
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:45,567
[poignant music playing]

523
00:24:51,781 --> 00:24:55,785
If you don't mind, I'm gonna take a second
here to look through some old journals.

524
00:24:55,785 --> 00:24:56,912
Okay.

525
00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,707
Whoa, look at your journals.

526
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:03,752
When did you start journaling?

527
00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:07,964
It wasn't till I felt
my life was kind of falling apart.

528
00:25:07,964 --> 00:25:12,177
And this one, uh,
it's called "Journal Number One."

529
00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:15,555
It's called
"Unmentionables and Other Private Stuff."

530
00:25:17,057 --> 00:25:19,392
[Will] Why did you type it
instead of longhand?

531
00:25:19,392 --> 00:25:23,063
[Harper] I did it
because I wanted to just put it down.

532
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,357
- Bad writing and all. Mistakes.
- [Will] Yeah.

533
00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:27,484
- Run-ons.
- [Harper] All kinds of mistakes, yeah.

534
00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:32,447
- [Will] Stream of consciousness, yeah.
- This one's about my therapist.

535
00:25:33,782 --> 00:25:36,201
"My therapist today
batted down my silly notion

536
00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:38,411
that I might be a girl instead of a boy."

537
00:25:38,411 --> 00:25:40,330
- [Will] Wow.
-"She's not buying it."

538
00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:42,832
"At one point,
she said I was living in fantasy."

539
00:25:42,832 --> 00:25:43,750
[Will] Wow.

540
00:25:43,750 --> 00:25:46,670
[Harper] "The weird feelings
of sickness and dread I described to her

541
00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:50,090
while I'm dressed in my male clothes
didn't make any sense to her."

542
00:25:50,590 --> 00:25:53,969
"She needed me to describe the feelings
to her, which I couldn't."

543
00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:56,263
"She seemed to think
dressing up like a woman

544
00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:59,182
has a lot of defiance and anger in it."

545
00:25:59,182 --> 00:26:00,725
"She's got a theory."

546
00:26:00,725 --> 00:26:03,478
"I, on the other hand,
am losing faith in theories."

547
00:26:04,521 --> 00:26:08,191
- Let's see. That's seven years ago.
- [Will] Wow.

548
00:26:13,446 --> 00:26:15,365
[poignant music fades]

549
00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:18,201
- [Harper] I'll get snacks. You get chairs.
- All righty.

550
00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:20,495
[distant quacking]

551
00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:25,667
[quacking, squawking]

552
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:35,051
[Will] You got us a lot of stuff.

553
00:26:35,051 --> 00:26:37,929
Well, we're on the road, buddy.
Pringles. You like Pringles?

554
00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:41,099
- I do. I love Pringles.
- I didn't know which Pringles you liked.

555
00:26:41,099 --> 00:26:43,310
You ready for this one? Fuego.

556
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:44,436
[snickering] Okay.

557
00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:45,520
[both chuckling]

558
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:49,733
- I am not having Fuego Pringles.
- Yeah, you are. Yeah. Yeah, you are.

559
00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:51,568
Oh, Scorchin' BBQ.

560
00:26:51,568 --> 00:26:52,819
[both chuckling]

561
00:26:52,819 --> 00:26:56,156
- Oh, part of the Scorchin' line.
- That's-- Oh yeah. The whole Sco--

562
00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:58,450
- [Will] We've gotta ration these.
- [both laugh]

563
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,619
'Cause we may never
run into another Walmart.

564
00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:02,912
[Will] 'Cause in case
we have a... a flat tire,

565
00:27:02,912 --> 00:27:03,997
we gotta ration.

566
00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:05,332
[Harper] Yeah, exactly.

567
00:27:07,375 --> 00:27:10,462
Uh, I was gonna ask you
'cause I was thinking about it. Um...

568
00:27:11,212 --> 00:27:16,718
Were you a little worried about
how to talk to me when I came out to you?

569
00:27:20,388 --> 00:27:24,017
Sometimes, I think
that... people who aren't trans,

570
00:27:24,017 --> 00:27:27,479
I think they're sometimes afraid
to say the wrong thing around me.

571
00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:29,481
- That's what I'm getting at.
- [Will] Yeah.

572
00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:31,775
And I didn't know when I first saw you,

573
00:27:31,775 --> 00:27:35,320
and I was just curious
if there was anything there that--

574
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,447
I probably was...

575
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:41,660
um...

576
00:27:42,952 --> 00:27:45,580
- Yeah, probably a little nervous.
- [Harper] Okay.

577
00:27:45,580 --> 00:27:47,707
- [Will] In the sense--
- I mean, I was nervous.

578
00:27:48,792 --> 00:27:50,293
- I'm in a dress.
- Yes.

579
00:27:50,293 --> 00:27:51,961
It's like... That was terrifying.

580
00:27:51,961 --> 00:27:57,842
Yeah, I... I... I guess I was...
I was worried about what... If there...

581
00:27:57,842 --> 00:27:59,678
What the new ground rules were.

582
00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:02,389
- [Harper] Okay, yeah.
- If there were any.

583
00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:06,059
- [Harper] Yeah.
- Uh, if it was... um...

584
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,354
You know.

585
00:28:11,064 --> 00:28:15,527
Yeah, just how much
had quote/unquote changed,

586
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,821
or was the same or what, you know.

587
00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:20,782
[Harper] Yeah, that's a difficult one,
the changing and the sameness and--

588
00:28:20,782 --> 00:28:23,034
There are no ground rules with friends,
I'm telling you.

589
00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:24,369
That's what I need you to know.

590
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,787
- But that's what--
- Yeah.

591
00:28:25,787 --> 00:28:29,499
- You immediately put me at ease.
- Yeah.

592
00:28:29,499 --> 00:28:33,503
Yeah, I don't... Well, 'cause I...
'cause I know there's no ill intention.

593
00:28:33,503 --> 00:28:37,006
So whatever you say,
I could not possibly be angry.

594
00:28:37,632 --> 00:28:39,175
- Yeah.
- [Harper] Um...

595
00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:43,054
What else did I get here, buddy?
I got more Pringles.

596
00:28:43,054 --> 00:28:44,639
Philly Cheesesteak.

597
00:28:44,639 --> 00:28:45,724
[Will chuckles]

598
00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:49,144
- [man] Man! You're the man!
- [Harper] What about the woman?

599
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:50,478
What about the woman?

600
00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:53,815
- You're still the woman.
- [Will] Yes! Still the woman! Yeah!

601
00:28:53,815 --> 00:28:55,358
- [man] Whoo!
- Whoo!

602
00:28:55,358 --> 00:28:58,153
- [man laughs]
- ["Wildflowers" by Tom Petty playing]

603
00:28:58,153 --> 00:28:59,487
[engine starts]

604
00:28:59,487 --> 00:29:01,448
[Harper] Oh, there she goes. Gah!

605
00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:04,951
- [Will chuckles] She's back in business.
- Back in business, oh yeah.

606
00:29:07,412 --> 00:29:08,413
Is there some reason

607
00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:10,999
why we're not stopping
at greasy diners every morning?

608
00:29:10,999 --> 00:29:14,586
- [Will] I don't know.
- It's my favorite kind of restaurant.

609
00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:18,423
The mecca. We are in the mecca.

610
00:29:19,841 --> 00:29:20,675
Hey there.

611
00:29:21,176 --> 00:29:24,095
- [Will] Hi, how are you? Thank you.
- [server] Sit wherever you like.

612
00:29:24,804 --> 00:29:26,222
[Will] Kimberly, you like it all?

613
00:29:26,222 --> 00:29:29,142
- Our best one is, we got the All-Star.
- Yeah.

614
00:29:29,142 --> 00:29:32,103
- Done deal. That's what I'm getting.
- Two eggs, wheat, white, raisin toast.

615
00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:35,607
Bacon, ham, or sausage.
You get a waffle or a biscuit and gravy.

616
00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:36,941
- Two of those.
- Absolutely.

617
00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:38,693
- Wait.
- No, no, no, no, I'm just kidding.

618
00:29:39,527 --> 00:29:40,862
And how about you, sir?

619
00:29:41,863 --> 00:29:42,739
- Ma'am.
- Ma'am.

620
00:29:42,739 --> 00:29:45,074
- [Kimberly] Ma'am. I am so sorry.
- That's okay.

621
00:29:45,074 --> 00:29:48,953
Ah, but that's quite all right.
I'm gonna get the, um, All-Star Special.

622
00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:51,748
All right. Thank you very much.
And I'll take your menus.

623
00:29:51,748 --> 00:29:52,957
- You're welcome.
- Great.

624
00:29:52,957 --> 00:29:53,875
[Kimberly] Yeah.

625
00:29:55,126 --> 00:29:56,252
I have an order.

626
00:29:56,252 --> 00:30:00,298
I don't like being misgendered that much,
but what can I do, pal?

627
00:30:01,424 --> 00:30:04,260
- It's, uh...
- [Harper] You know what?

628
00:30:04,260 --> 00:30:05,595
It's gonna ha-- I mean--

629
00:30:05,595 --> 00:30:08,056
It is gonna happen.
You know what you should do?

630
00:30:08,056 --> 00:30:11,392
You should go, "What do you want,
little lady who's a woman?"

631
00:30:11,392 --> 00:30:14,604
- Huh. "And for the little lady."
- [Harper] "Now for the little lady--"

632
00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:16,356
- You don't have to.
- The little lady.

633
00:30:16,356 --> 00:30:18,983
- [Kimberly] Who has wheat?
- Uh, I got the white.

634
00:30:18,983 --> 00:30:20,985
- I got the wheat.
- Wheat? There you go.

635
00:30:21,986 --> 00:30:25,240
You excited for the game tonight,
by the way?

636
00:30:25,740 --> 00:30:27,992
I'm excited. But I'll be honest.

637
00:30:27,992 --> 00:30:31,788
Walking through all those bros
in a bro-ey environment

638
00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:34,374
has been my hardest part of my--

639
00:30:34,374 --> 00:30:37,168
- Right.
- My, um, transition.

640
00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:39,546
I was that person.
I went to basketball games.

641
00:30:39,546 --> 00:30:41,464
- I know... I know the culture.
- Right.

642
00:30:41,464 --> 00:30:43,216
And I'm gonna go back in that culture,

643
00:30:43,216 --> 00:30:46,845
and there's a lot of that still in me
that does not like what's happening.

644
00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:50,265
- [Will] Yeah.
- And I'm not totally comfortable with it.

645
00:30:50,265 --> 00:30:51,808
[suspenseful music playing]

646
00:30:51,808 --> 00:30:53,560
- [Will] Here we go.
- Here we go.

647
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,604
[Harper] When I walk
into that basketball stadium...

648
00:30:56,604 --> 00:30:58,982
- You look fantastic.
- [Harper] Oh, thank you.

649
00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:01,192
- [Will] I love the jacket.
- I worked on it.

650
00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:04,737
...I am a woman,
and that's how I need to be seen.

651
00:31:04,737 --> 00:31:08,533
But I'm not sure...
It's just they may not see me that way.

652
00:31:09,033 --> 00:31:10,451
This is an odd thing to say.

653
00:31:10,451 --> 00:31:12,620
- I may not see myself that way.
- Mm-hmm.

654
00:31:12,620 --> 00:31:14,289
[Harper] But you sort of running point

655
00:31:14,289 --> 00:31:17,417
makes this a fuck of a lot easier
than if I was just alone,

656
00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:20,086
and I gotta keep that in mind
throughout this trip.

657
00:31:20,086 --> 00:31:23,464
'Cause, obviously,
I'm getting a little free pass here,

658
00:31:23,464 --> 00:31:25,884
but I'm not saying
it's not gonna be difficult.

659
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,927
[suspenseful music continues]

660
00:31:33,975 --> 00:31:38,146
[Harper] I gotta tell you,
we've been to a lot of Laker games.

661
00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:39,063
[Will] Yeah.

662
00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:42,984
[Harper] I've never seen Jack Nicholson,
I've never seen Leonardo DiCaprio,

663
00:31:42,984 --> 00:31:45,904
I've never seen Vince Vaughn
at a basketball game

664
00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:47,739
sitting next to their trans friend.

665
00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:50,783
- [Will] Right.
- [Harper] I've just never seen it myself.

666
00:31:51,409 --> 00:31:53,453
[buzzer sounds]

667
00:31:56,664 --> 00:31:57,540
[player 1] Yo!

668
00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:02,253
It's so complicated
because I used sports all the time

669
00:32:03,379 --> 00:32:07,634
to let people know that I was not a woman.

670
00:32:08,635 --> 00:32:13,598
I mean, not that women can't like sports,
but I was trying to... you know...

671
00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:17,143
- Yeah, try-- You were always-- Yeah.
- I was trying to be that guy.

672
00:32:17,143 --> 00:32:19,145
[Harper] By doing that all the time,

673
00:32:19,145 --> 00:32:21,564
I did learn a lot about sports,

674
00:32:21,564 --> 00:32:24,025
and I do kind of like it. [chuckles]

675
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:26,986
[buzzer sounds]

676
00:32:26,986 --> 00:32:28,696
- [Will] Oh!
- [cheering]

677
00:32:28,696 --> 00:32:30,198
- Yeah!
- Yes!

678
00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:32,283
Wow.

679
00:32:32,283 --> 00:32:35,244
[announcer] <i>All right, Pacer fans,
I need you to cheer.</i>

680
00:32:35,244 --> 00:32:37,121
<i>- I got a special guest.</i>
- [cheering]

681
00:32:37,622 --> 00:32:40,124
Let me hear you, Pacer fans!

682
00:32:40,124 --> 00:32:41,876
[cheering, whistling]

683
00:32:41,876 --> 00:32:43,670
What do we think of the Sixers?

684
00:32:43,670 --> 00:32:45,213
[Pacer fans booing]

685
00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:47,173
What do we think of the Pacers?

686
00:32:47,173 --> 00:32:48,341
[Pacer fans cheering]

687
00:32:48,341 --> 00:32:50,510
- Sixers!
- [Pacer fans booing]

688
00:32:50,510 --> 00:32:54,138
- Pacers!
- [Pacer fans cheering, whistling]

689
00:32:54,138 --> 00:32:57,600
I wanna thank you, Indianapolis.
I'm here with my friend Harper Steele.

690
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,686
- She just transitioned.
- Wait, we're off. We're off.

691
00:32:59,686 --> 00:33:01,771
- [woman shouting indistinctly]
- [Harper] We're off.

692
00:33:01,771 --> 00:33:04,232
Indy, you've showed us nothing but love.

693
00:33:04,232 --> 00:33:06,484
- [chuckles] We're off.
- Thank you!

694
00:33:06,484 --> 00:33:07,777
[man] Woo-hoo!

695
00:33:08,945 --> 00:33:11,322
[commentator 1]
<i>Great to see Will Ferrell here.</i>

696
00:33:11,864 --> 00:33:13,199
<i>Uh, there's the governor.</i>

697
00:33:13,199 --> 00:33:16,035
[commentator 2] <i>Just over there,
kinda trying to get him off the court</i>

698
00:33:16,035 --> 00:33:17,662
<i>so we can start the game.</i>

699
00:33:18,705 --> 00:33:22,208
So you're working your way across
the country? How do you end up here?

700
00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:24,877
[Will] Harper and I
have known each other for 30 years,

701
00:33:24,877 --> 00:33:28,131
and we're, uh,
we're going across the country.

702
00:33:28,798 --> 00:33:32,176
- To basketball field houses or anything?
- No, this was just--

703
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:35,805
This is our first
professional sporting event

704
00:33:35,805 --> 00:33:37,432
since Harper's transition.

705
00:33:37,432 --> 00:33:41,227
So the Pacers were nice enough
to allow us access.

706
00:33:41,227 --> 00:33:44,272
[commentator 1] <i>Pacers have the ball
to start the quarter up one.</i>

707
00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:49,902
- [fans whistling, cheering]
- [man] Oh man, it's started.

708
00:33:50,403 --> 00:33:52,822
Wait, was that the governor of this state?

709
00:33:52,822 --> 00:33:53,740
Mm-hmm.

710
00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:58,286
What's his name?

711
00:34:01,664 --> 00:34:02,582
Eric Holcomb.

712
00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:04,876
- Holcomb?
- Yep.

713
00:34:04,876 --> 00:34:06,085
Where do you see that?

714
00:34:06,085 --> 00:34:07,754
[solemn music playing]

715
00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:10,423
[reporter 1] <i>We start
with breaking news out of Indianapolis</i>

716
00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:13,342
<i>as Indiana Governor Eric Holcomb
signs a bill</i>

717
00:34:13,342 --> 00:34:16,387
<i>banning all gender-affirming care
for minors...</i>

718
00:34:16,387 --> 00:34:19,807
[reporter 2] <i>A number of bills relating
to health care, access to bathrooms...</i>

719
00:34:19,807 --> 00:34:23,811
[reporter 3] <i>More than 70 LGBTQ bills
have been filed in the Texas legislature.</i>

720
00:34:23,811 --> 00:34:25,772
[reporter 4] <i>...makes Kansas the 20th state...</i>

721
00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:28,524
[reporter 5] <i>North Dakota's governor
signed a bill into law...</i>

722
00:34:28,524 --> 00:34:31,694
[reporter 6] <i>...provide a legal definition
of sex across the Tennessee code.</i>

723
00:34:31,694 --> 00:34:34,530
[reporter 7] <i>...law would
"preserve biological sex as a distinct..."</i>

724
00:34:34,530 --> 00:34:39,744
[reporter 8] <i>Transgenderism must be
eradicated from public life entirely.</i>

725
00:34:39,744 --> 00:34:41,162
[solemn music continues]

726
00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:49,420
- [Will] Here's where I dropped the ball.
- [Harper] Oh, okay.

727
00:34:49,420 --> 00:34:54,383
I obviously didn't anticipate
meeting the governor of Indiana.

728
00:34:54,383 --> 00:34:55,468
Oh, yeah.

729
00:34:55,468 --> 00:34:58,429
- And I... He asked what we were doing.
- Right.

730
00:34:58,429 --> 00:35:01,390
And we told him,
and he seemed... he seemed to---

731
00:35:01,390 --> 00:35:03,142
- Okay with that.
- Be, "Oh, great."

732
00:35:03,142 --> 00:35:06,521
And I... I wish I had
the wherewithal to go, like,

733
00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:09,232
"What's your stance on trans people?"

734
00:35:09,232 --> 00:35:10,191
Or "What's..."

735
00:35:10,191 --> 00:35:12,443
I actually didn't know
he was the governor,

736
00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:15,530
and then, later in the conversation,
someone said something--

737
00:35:15,530 --> 00:35:18,366
And I did. I heard, like,
"I want you to meet the governor."

738
00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:20,159
- Oh!
- And I'm like, "Oh."

739
00:35:20,159 --> 00:35:21,994
This must happen to you a lot.

740
00:35:22,578 --> 00:35:24,622
The photo you don't wanna be in.

741
00:35:24,622 --> 00:35:25,665
[Will] Yeah.

742
00:35:25,665 --> 00:35:27,917
- I don't get that very often.
- [Will] Right.

743
00:35:27,917 --> 00:35:32,004
And someone comes in, and there's
someone down there on the floor snapping.

744
00:35:32,004 --> 00:35:33,798
"This person's with Will Ferrell."

745
00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:36,509
But then I'm in this photo
with this governor,

746
00:35:36,509 --> 00:35:38,469
and I don't know his politics.

747
00:35:38,469 --> 00:35:40,346
- Right.
- And, uh, I mean...

748
00:35:40,346 --> 00:35:42,640
- That was the thing. That was...
- No--

749
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,100
That was my negative take--

750
00:35:44,100 --> 00:35:46,561
That was the one place
where I was like, "I should've..."

751
00:35:46,561 --> 00:35:49,564
Just to see what he happened to say.

752
00:35:50,314 --> 00:35:51,149
Yeah.

753
00:35:51,774 --> 00:35:53,943
[Will] So walking into that arena...

754
00:35:53,943 --> 00:35:54,861
Yeah.

755
00:35:55,361 --> 00:35:57,155
- 20,000 people, right?
- Yeah.

756
00:35:57,155 --> 00:35:58,573
[Will] How did that feel?

757
00:35:59,699 --> 00:36:03,369
I know that all of this
is going to make it easier for me

758
00:36:03,369 --> 00:36:05,538
to walk into these kind of places later.

759
00:36:06,122 --> 00:36:07,456
I did it. It's done.

760
00:36:07,456 --> 00:36:11,335
I'm sort of looking for some of that
a little bit more on this trip.

761
00:36:11,335 --> 00:36:16,215
Like, I'm gonna have to peel off
a few times and just--

762
00:36:16,215 --> 00:36:18,551
- [Will] Sure.
- So I can feel what it feels like.

763
00:36:18,551 --> 00:36:19,635
By yourself, right?

764
00:36:19,635 --> 00:36:21,345
- Yeah, of course.
- Yeah.

765
00:36:21,345 --> 00:36:23,055
[pensive country music playing]

766
00:36:28,060 --> 00:36:29,395
[Harper] It's fascinating to me.

767
00:36:29,395 --> 00:36:32,565
There's so many trans people out here
all around the country,

768
00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:34,817
living their lives in these places.

769
00:36:34,817 --> 00:36:35,735
[Will] Yeah.

770
00:36:36,402 --> 00:36:37,737
[Harper] To me,

771
00:36:37,737 --> 00:36:41,699
connecting with more people like that
would be something I would like to do.

772
00:36:43,075 --> 00:36:44,493
Oh, we're heading to Peoria.

773
00:36:44,493 --> 00:36:47,705
There's, uh, a woman there
we're gonna meet named Dana Garber,

774
00:36:47,705 --> 00:36:50,208
who, um, transitioned later in life,

775
00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:56,464
and she has been deeply involved
in the trans community in Peoria,

776
00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:57,882
which is fascinating to me

777
00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,508
because I did not know...

778
00:36:59,508 --> 00:37:00,426
Of course.

779
00:37:00,426 --> 00:37:01,969
...any trans people growing up.

780
00:37:01,969 --> 00:37:02,887
Yeah.

781
00:37:08,726 --> 00:37:11,145
[Harper] Thanks for having us
in your city, in Peoria.

782
00:37:11,145 --> 00:37:12,313
[Dana] Yeah.

783
00:37:12,313 --> 00:37:13,940
Are you from here originally?

784
00:37:13,940 --> 00:37:16,317
- Yeah, this is Pekin right here.
- [Will] Okay.

785
00:37:16,317 --> 00:37:18,110
And I've been here my whole life.

786
00:37:18,110 --> 00:37:19,028
- Oh wow.
- [Dana] Yep.

787
00:37:19,862 --> 00:37:22,031
[Harper] Did you transition like me?

788
00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:23,407
Ki-- I'm 61. So...

789
00:37:23,407 --> 00:37:25,368
- And I'm 65.
- [Harper] Okay.

790
00:37:25,368 --> 00:37:29,205
I started... I came out to my family
when I was 55.

791
00:37:29,205 --> 00:37:30,873
Okay. Wow. Okay, so it's--

792
00:37:30,873 --> 00:37:32,875
- [Will] So very similar to Harper.
- [Dana] Yeah.

793
00:37:32,875 --> 00:37:37,463
I know from my own experience,
but I'm gonna guess that was really tough.

794
00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:39,757
- Yeah. [chuckles]
- [Harper] Yeah.

795
00:37:40,258 --> 00:37:43,928
Yes. So I knew a long time ago
that, you know,

796
00:37:44,679 --> 00:37:46,847
that I should have been a girl.

797
00:37:46,847 --> 00:37:48,849
On my first day of kindergarten,

798
00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:52,103
I walked in and I sat down with the girls.

799
00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:55,273
So the teacher's talking about
class rules, you know.

800
00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:57,608
- Yeah.
- So she took us to potty.

801
00:37:57,608 --> 00:37:59,068
And I got in the girls' line.

802
00:37:59,068 --> 00:38:01,570
She grabbed me by the hand
and said, "No, baby."

803
00:38:01,570 --> 00:38:04,156
"You gotta go in the boys' line.
You're a boy."

804
00:38:05,074 --> 00:38:07,285
And everybody started making fun of me.

805
00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:09,287
So I got, like, a panic attack,

806
00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:12,248
and I went in the bathroom,
threw up and everything.

807
00:38:12,248 --> 00:38:15,084
And the teacher came in there,
like, "Are you sick?"

808
00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:17,545
And she called my mom,
and my mom came and got me.

809
00:38:17,545 --> 00:38:21,340
And I... I told her what had happened.
And she said, "Honey, you're a boy."

810
00:38:21,340 --> 00:38:25,136
"You can't go in there with the girls.
You got different body parts and stuff."

811
00:38:25,136 --> 00:38:27,346
- And I didn't know that, you know?
- [Harper] Right.

812
00:38:27,346 --> 00:38:29,098
It wasn't about body parts.

813
00:38:29,765 --> 00:38:32,059
You know,
it was about who I am in here, so...

814
00:38:32,059 --> 00:38:35,021
You know, it's like,
what was wrong with me, you know?

815
00:38:35,021 --> 00:38:39,191
I used to pray to Jesus
every night when I was in grade school,

816
00:38:39,191 --> 00:38:42,820
you know, fix me or kill me,
one or the other, you know?

817
00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:44,322
- It was horrible.
- [Harper] Yeah.

818
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:47,241
[Dana] It was like,
"Why am I like this?" You know?

819
00:38:47,241 --> 00:38:48,868
[gentle music playing]

820
00:38:49,702 --> 00:38:54,749
Got in a really bad place mentally,
and I got pretty suicidal for a while.

821
00:38:54,749 --> 00:38:57,001
- [Harper] Yeah.
- And I thought the only way...

822
00:38:57,501 --> 00:38:59,879
I thought,
"I don't really wanna die," you know,

823
00:38:59,879 --> 00:39:03,424
"but I don't
wanna go on like this either."

824
00:39:03,424 --> 00:39:05,843
So that's when I started counseling,

825
00:39:05,843 --> 00:39:09,138
and my counselor was really awesome.

826
00:39:09,138 --> 00:39:13,476
She's more like, "If you wanna do this,
then try it," you know?

827
00:39:14,143 --> 00:39:18,689
Because I wasn't living
my auth... authenticity, you know? So...

828
00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:19,607
[Harper] Yeah.

829
00:39:19,607 --> 00:39:23,986
Um... Now, my experience was that I had a...
kind of not a good therapist.

830
00:39:23,986 --> 00:39:26,030
- You know how that works sometimes.
- Yeah.

831
00:39:26,030 --> 00:39:28,157
And, uh, much later,

832
00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:30,993
I got a... a better-- A gender therapist,

833
00:39:30,993 --> 00:39:32,536
and we kept talking.

834
00:39:32,536 --> 00:39:35,289
And it was still a year,
but once I got to...

835
00:39:35,289 --> 00:39:37,792
my est... my first estrogen pill...

836
00:39:37,792 --> 00:39:39,001
This is silly to me.

837
00:39:39,001 --> 00:39:40,544
- I'm sure any person...
- [Dana chuckles]

838
00:39:40,544 --> 00:39:42,838
But that first estrogen pill
is like, "Ta-da!"

839
00:39:42,838 --> 00:39:45,216
"Magic! Ah, this is
the most amazing feeling."

840
00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:47,426
- You're not feeling anything for months.
- Wow.

841
00:39:47,426 --> 00:39:50,429
But I just like...
mentally, I was just like... like,

842
00:39:50,429 --> 00:39:53,265
"Why did I wait so long?
I love this." You know?

843
00:39:53,265 --> 00:39:54,767
- [Dana] Me too.
- [Harper] Yeah.

844
00:39:57,353 --> 00:40:02,441
[Will] Have you faced hate
in this community at times, or--

845
00:40:02,441 --> 00:40:04,527
[Dana] I think I've had a few incidents.

846
00:40:04,527 --> 00:40:07,321
My voice gets me misgendered a lot,
and I just--

847
00:40:07,321 --> 00:40:09,907
- [Harper] I hate-- I hate the voice.
- [Will] You hate your voice.

848
00:40:09,907 --> 00:40:12,910
- I really do like passing.
- [Dana] Yeah.

849
00:40:12,910 --> 00:40:17,081
[Harper] And I would love to pass.
I just... The voice was killing me.

850
00:40:17,081 --> 00:40:22,169
I don't really want
this low, male voice, you know?

851
00:40:22,169 --> 00:40:24,713
I... I did that, too, for a while, you know.

852
00:40:24,713 --> 00:40:27,508
- I went to this vocal therapy course.
- [Harper] Yeah.

853
00:40:27,508 --> 00:40:29,927
[Dana] Sat down one night,
and I'm really thinking,

854
00:40:30,594 --> 00:40:33,639
was I doing this for me
or for society, you know?

855
00:40:33,639 --> 00:40:34,974
[Will] Wow, right, right.

856
00:40:34,974 --> 00:40:38,144
And I... No, I'm doing it
for everybody else but me.

857
00:40:38,144 --> 00:40:39,770
This is my voice, you know?

858
00:40:40,604 --> 00:40:45,109
A lot of transitioning
is learning to accept yourself, I think.

859
00:40:46,694 --> 00:40:48,612
[cheering, applause]

860
00:40:50,739 --> 00:40:52,408
Hey, I just wanna point out

861
00:40:52,408 --> 00:40:56,120
that this is... basically
the first time I've ever done this.

862
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,873
- I can't sing.
- [woman 1] That doesn't matter!

863
00:40:58,873 --> 00:41:01,208
[crowd shout encouragement]

864
00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:03,961
- [Will] I don't think it matters.
- [Harper] Okay.

865
00:41:03,961 --> 00:41:06,380
- How about Sonny and Cher? How about--
- [woman 2] Whoo!

866
00:41:06,380 --> 00:41:09,133
- ["I Got You Babe" playing]
- You... you wanna take this?

867
00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:11,218
- I got this.
- You got the first line.

868
00:41:11,218 --> 00:41:14,513
<i>♪ They say we're young
And we don't know ♪</i>

869
00:41:14,513 --> 00:41:15,514
[woman 3] Whoo!

870
00:41:15,514 --> 00:41:19,059
<i>- ♪ We won't find out until we grow ♪
- ♪ Grow ♪</i>

871
00:41:19,059 --> 00:41:21,103
[woman 4] Yeah! Whoo-whoo-whoo!

872
00:41:21,103 --> 00:41:24,773
<i>- ♪ I don't know... all true ♪
- ♪ Well, I don't know if it's all true ♪</i>

873
00:41:24,773 --> 00:41:25,941
<i>- ♪ 'Cause I got you ♪</i>

874
00:41:25,941 --> 00:41:28,360
<i>- ♪ And, baby, I got you ♪</i>
- [Will] <i>♪ I got you ♪</i>

875
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:29,612
[woman 3] Whoo!

876
00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:31,489
[all] <i>♪ Babe ♪</i>

877
00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:34,992
<i>♪ I got you, babe ♪</i>

878
00:41:34,992 --> 00:41:36,702
- [woman 5] Yeah!
- [woman 6] Whoo!

879
00:41:36,702 --> 00:41:38,245
<i>♪ I got you, babe ♪</i>

880
00:41:38,245 --> 00:41:39,788
[cheering, applause]

881
00:41:39,788 --> 00:41:43,167
[Cher] <i>♪ They say our love
Won't pay the rent ♪</i>

882
00:41:43,751 --> 00:41:47,713
<i>♪ Before it's earned
Our money's all been spent</i>... ♪

883
00:41:47,713 --> 00:41:50,633
- [Harper] That singing last night.
- [Will] On the mic, you were good.

884
00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:52,885
[Harper] Oh, no, I can take hold of a mic.

885
00:41:52,885 --> 00:41:56,722
- But I've never seen you that way before.
- It was amazing for me.

886
00:41:57,848 --> 00:42:00,267
Do you think we need... This could be fun.

887
00:42:00,267 --> 00:42:01,310
Yeah, okay.

888
00:42:03,395 --> 00:42:05,856
...like, a theme song for this road trip?

889
00:42:05,856 --> 00:42:06,815
Oh!

890
00:42:07,316 --> 00:42:10,027
- We could call someone.
- Who are you thinking?

891
00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:12,404
Fred Armisen comes to mind, right?

892
00:42:12,404 --> 00:42:13,447
- [Will] Fred.
- Fred.

893
00:42:13,447 --> 00:42:15,699
[playing discordant cords on piano]

894
00:42:19,703 --> 00:42:22,581
Let me think who else that we know
that writes good songs.

895
00:42:22,581 --> 00:42:25,334
- [Will] Uh, uh, Forte?
- Oh yeah, Will Forte.

896
00:42:25,334 --> 00:42:30,631
<i>♪ Have you ever had a Mexican location
Sitting right on your face? ♪</i>

897
00:42:31,340 --> 00:42:33,592
- Incredibly musical. Very--
- Of course, yeah.

898
00:42:33,592 --> 00:42:35,344
- [Harper] Molly.
- Molly Shannon.

899
00:42:35,344 --> 00:42:38,222
<i>♪ Isn't it romantic? Well! ♪</i>

900
00:42:38,222 --> 00:42:40,224
- What about Wiig?
- Kristen Wiig.

901
00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:46,230
<i>♪ ...party with the best of them ♪</i>

902
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:49,441
<i>♪ And I'm gonna go down to the river ♪</i>

903
00:42:49,441 --> 00:42:50,651
Okay, calling Wiig.

904
00:42:51,235 --> 00:42:53,862
- [outgoing call tone]
- [Harper] Uh-huh.

905
00:42:55,281 --> 00:42:56,115
<i>W--</i> [gasps]

906
00:42:56,115 --> 00:43:00,119
- Hi, Wiig.
- Hello, Kristen.

907
00:43:00,119 --> 00:43:02,329
<i>- Hi! Oh my gosh!</i>
- [Harper] Hi.

908
00:43:02,329 --> 00:43:04,081
<i>Look at you, guys. What's up?</i>

909
00:43:04,665 --> 00:43:07,626
We... we're trying to think of a theme song.

910
00:43:07,626 --> 00:43:09,336
<i>- Oh, okay.</i> [chuckles]
- So...

911
00:43:09,336 --> 00:43:12,089
And we thought you're one of our friends,

912
00:43:12,089 --> 00:43:14,925
who's so talented in so many ways,

913
00:43:14,925 --> 00:43:18,596
that you would be able
to come up with a theme song.

914
00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:20,306
[Kristen] <i>I-- Yes. Do you just--</i>

915
00:43:20,306 --> 00:43:22,057
<i>We want it to be sort of...</i>

916
00:43:22,725 --> 00:43:25,477
- Oh, no, we've thought about it.
<i>- Fun friends on the road?</i>

917
00:43:25,477 --> 00:43:27,980
- Friends on the road, for sure.
- Friends on the road.

918
00:43:27,980 --> 00:43:29,982
Harper and Will and stuff like that.

919
00:43:29,982 --> 00:43:31,775
I want it to be kind of jazzy.

920
00:43:31,775 --> 00:43:33,235
- I want it to be jazzy.
- <i>Oh.</i>

921
00:43:33,235 --> 00:43:35,112
- With an up tempo.
- Yeah.

922
00:43:35,112 --> 00:43:37,323
- But not too up.
- No. And it also needs a little--

923
00:43:37,323 --> 00:43:39,033
<i>- Let me write this down.</i>
- Yeah.

924
00:43:39,033 --> 00:43:42,286
But then it's gotta stop you
in your tracks and make you think.

925
00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:44,288
- Very sad.
- Maybe bring a tear to your eye.

926
00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:47,291
Yeah, it should bring a tear
to your eye too. Yeah, do that.

927
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:50,669
And a little twang like some country
'cause we're in the middle of the country.

928
00:43:50,669 --> 00:43:53,255
- <i>So up-tempo jazz.
-</i> Jazzy.

929
00:43:53,255 --> 00:43:54,381
- Jazz.
- <i>Fun.</i>

930
00:43:54,381 --> 00:43:56,925
- Fun, but it's gotta make you cry.
- You gotta cry.

931
00:43:56,925 --> 00:43:58,552
Yeah, you gotta cry.

932
00:43:58,552 --> 00:44:00,763
<i>- Tear to your eye, fun.</i>
- Jazzy.

933
00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:02,848
- Jazzy. Don't forget jazzy.
<i>- With a little country.</i>

934
00:44:02,848 --> 00:44:04,183
With a little country.

935
00:44:04,183 --> 00:44:06,852
- Yeah, please don't forget jazzy.
- <i>Okay.</i>

936
00:44:07,436 --> 00:44:09,021
- Uh, thank you so much.
- <i>Love you.</i>

937
00:44:09,021 --> 00:44:10,606
<i>It's good to see you. I'm gonna--</i>

938
00:44:10,606 --> 00:44:12,941
- Yeah, I mean, just take your time.
- <i>Yeah.</i>

939
00:44:12,941 --> 00:44:15,486
But anytime in the next couple days
or something, I don't know.

940
00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:17,154
- <i>Oh, okay.</i>
- Yeah.

941
00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:18,739
- <i>Bye, guys.</i>
- Bye, buddy.

942
00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:19,740
- Bye.
- Bye.

943
00:44:20,949 --> 00:44:22,284
[Will] I think she got it.

944
00:44:22,284 --> 00:44:24,912
- Yeah, that's good. Yeah.
- [Will] Yeah. Yup.

945
00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:27,831
<i>♪ I'm going up the country ♪</i>

946
00:44:27,831 --> 00:44:30,459
<i>♪ Baby, don't you wanna go? ♪</i>

947
00:44:31,794 --> 00:44:33,587
{\an8}<i>♪ I'm going up the country ♪</i>

948
00:44:33,587 --> 00:44:36,298
<i>♪ Baby, don't you wanna go? ♪</i>

949
00:44:37,591 --> 00:44:42,346
<i>♪ I'm going to some place
Where I've never been before ♪</i>

950
00:44:43,305 --> 00:44:46,308
<i>♪ I'm going, I'm going
Where the water tastes... ♪</i>

951
00:44:46,308 --> 00:44:47,810
[Will] Here's a question.

952
00:44:47,810 --> 00:44:50,854
Do you think
you're a worse driver as a female driver?

953
00:44:50,854 --> 00:44:53,691
[laughing]

954
00:44:53,691 --> 00:44:55,609
- That's the dumbest-- that's so--
- Whoo!

955
00:44:55,609 --> 00:44:58,612
- No. No, no. That is so-- Oh, fuck you.
- Whoo!

956
00:44:58,612 --> 00:45:00,114
- Zing! Whoo!
- But I am.

957
00:45:00,114 --> 00:45:01,073
- Yeah.
- Oh.

958
00:45:03,575 --> 00:45:04,952
- Hey.
- How's it going today?

959
00:45:04,952 --> 00:45:08,622
Do you recognize this guy?
He's a-- This is a Hollywood movie star.

960
00:45:08,622 --> 00:45:09,915
Huh? No.

961
00:45:09,915 --> 00:45:13,377
- Don't you recognize him? He's in movies.
- That's okay. Roll up the window.

962
00:45:17,423 --> 00:45:18,507
[music fades]

963
00:45:18,507 --> 00:45:20,342
[cell phone vibrating]

964
00:45:20,342 --> 00:45:22,678
Oh shit. This is my sister.
I better get this one.

965
00:45:22,678 --> 00:45:23,595
[Will] Okay.

966
00:45:24,596 --> 00:45:25,931
[Harper] Uh, hi, Eleanor.

967
00:45:27,474 --> 00:45:30,853
I'm gonna put you on speaker
so Will can ask you some questions.

968
00:45:30,853 --> 00:45:33,355
- [Eleanor] <i>Okay.</i>
- Eleanor, I don't wanna impose.

969
00:45:33,355 --> 00:45:36,859
- Are you sure it's okay if I stay?
<i>- Oh my God, of course it's okay.</i>

970
00:45:36,859 --> 00:45:40,571
Do you have... do you have
a humidifier set up in my room?

971
00:45:40,571 --> 00:45:44,074
- I would-- Don't listen to your sister.
- No, don't indulge--

972
00:45:44,074 --> 00:45:45,868
- Don't indulge him.
- Oh!

973
00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:47,745
[Harper] Will's sleeping
on the couch for that.

974
00:45:47,745 --> 00:45:49,997
What products do you have
in your guest bathroom?

975
00:45:49,997 --> 00:45:50,914
[Harper] Stop!

976
00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:54,626
[Eleanor] <i>Tell Will I'll put
my Chanel face cream down there.</i>

977
00:45:54,626 --> 00:45:56,170
- Oh.
- Thank you. Yes.

978
00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:57,963
[sentimental music playing]

979
00:45:58,756 --> 00:46:01,091
- [Harper] I'm feeling it.
- [Will] I can tell.

980
00:46:01,091 --> 00:46:04,928
I'm getting closer to Iowa City,
and I am feeling it.

981
00:46:05,554 --> 00:46:07,806
[Will] This is the home turf.
You're excited.

982
00:46:13,020 --> 00:46:14,396
[Harper] Oh my goodness.

983
00:46:14,396 --> 00:46:16,190
[Will] Fantastic. I love it.

984
00:46:23,071 --> 00:46:24,740
- [Harper] Hi.
- Hello.

985
00:46:25,949 --> 00:46:27,826
- [Harper] Huh?
- [both chuckle]

986
00:46:28,577 --> 00:46:31,371
- [Eleanor] Good to see you.
- This is my friend Will Ferrell.

987
00:46:31,371 --> 00:46:32,998
- Hi, Will.
- [Will] How are you?

988
00:46:33,499 --> 00:46:35,501
Oh, should this be a housewarming gift?

989
00:46:36,001 --> 00:46:37,878
[Eleanor] Oh, thank you.

990
00:46:39,046 --> 00:46:41,381
- [Will] Do you like Pringles?
- [Eleanor] I love Pringles.

991
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:44,635
All right, just around the corner.

992
00:46:44,635 --> 00:46:47,095
[Harper] Okay.
Bathroom in there, by the way.

993
00:46:47,971 --> 00:46:49,932
- Thank you. This is great.
- [Harper] Yeah.

994
00:46:50,432 --> 00:46:53,769
Eleanor, what was your reaction
when you got the news?

995
00:46:53,769 --> 00:46:55,187
I was totally surprised.

996
00:46:55,687 --> 00:46:56,522
Um...

997
00:46:57,272 --> 00:47:02,194
And I think my reaction was... sorrow.

998
00:47:02,694 --> 00:47:03,779
[Will] Uh-huh.

999
00:47:03,779 --> 00:47:05,864
And the reason I felt sorrow

1000
00:47:05,864 --> 00:47:11,870
was I thought about how much pain
Harper must have suffered over the years.

1001
00:47:12,579 --> 00:47:15,123
And also knowing, like, immediately

1002
00:47:15,123 --> 00:47:18,126
how stressful that moment was
of coming out.

1003
00:47:18,877 --> 00:47:23,465
And so the most important thing to me
was not to be so careful in my response

1004
00:47:23,465 --> 00:47:24,967
but to respond quickly.

1005
00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:25,884
You did.

1006
00:47:25,884 --> 00:47:29,388
So she knew
it's not something I need to think about.

1007
00:47:29,388 --> 00:47:31,598
- I'll talk to you more later.
- [Will] Yeah.

1008
00:47:31,598 --> 00:47:35,978
I think what you said,
which was so... heartening...

1009
00:47:35,978 --> 00:47:39,064
[chuckles] ...was, "Oh good.
I've always wanted a sister."

1010
00:47:39,565 --> 00:47:41,775
- I did say that, yeah.
- [Harper] That's what you said.

1011
00:47:41,775 --> 00:47:43,193
Pow. Just like that.

1012
00:47:43,777 --> 00:47:47,739
I was gonna tell a funny story,
though, because I always think of this.

1013
00:47:47,739 --> 00:47:49,992
I think it was around eighth grade.

1014
00:47:50,492 --> 00:47:55,455
Eleanor gave me a pair of her bell-bottoms
that she didn't want anymore,

1015
00:47:55,455 --> 00:47:58,292
and they were white, frilly bell-bottoms.

1016
00:47:58,792 --> 00:48:02,462
And once I got 'em,
they were my favorite article of clothing.

1017
00:48:02,462 --> 00:48:04,339
I wore them all around. I loved them.

1018
00:48:04,339 --> 00:48:07,885
And I went to the skate park
with my skate friends.

1019
00:48:07,885 --> 00:48:08,886
- [Will] Yeah.
- Uh...

1020
00:48:08,886 --> 00:48:12,472
And we skated around that night,
and I was feeling good in my white--

1021
00:48:12,472 --> 00:48:14,683
- [Will] In your white bell-bottoms.
- My bell-bottoms.

1022
00:48:14,683 --> 00:48:18,770
And, uh, I come out of that skate park,
and it's like, uh...

1023
00:48:19,855 --> 00:48:23,066
"Hey, we gotta come back next week.
They're doing it again next week."

1024
00:48:23,066 --> 00:48:26,612
And someone goes,
"Yeah, but don't bring those faggy pants."

1025
00:48:26,612 --> 00:48:27,529
[Will] Oh.

1026
00:48:27,529 --> 00:48:31,408
And, uh, the pants disappeared
right at that moment.

1027
00:48:31,408 --> 00:48:34,286
There's no part of you that was like,
"Shut up. These pants are cool."

1028
00:48:34,286 --> 00:48:38,290
[Harper] So many times in my life, some,
probably, effort for Harper to get out

1029
00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:39,708
was just squashed.

1030
00:48:39,708 --> 00:48:41,460
- Yeah.
- [Harper] Over and over again.

1031
00:48:41,460 --> 00:48:45,088
And I just remember that one
kind of clearly. So...

1032
00:48:45,631 --> 00:48:48,300
Uh, Eleanor,
you haven't touched your Pringles.

1033
00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:51,219
- Sour cream and onion.
- [Eleanor] Oh, I totally forgot.

1034
00:48:51,219 --> 00:48:54,389
Are you familiar with their Scorched line?

1035
00:48:54,389 --> 00:48:55,766
- [Eleanor] I'm not.
- Yeah.

1036
00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:58,101
- That might be too much for me, yeah.
- [Will] I think so.

1037
00:48:58,101 --> 00:48:59,853
- Oh, why thank you.
- [Harper] Mm.

1038
00:48:59,853 --> 00:49:01,355
- Oh, a little taste of--
- Oh.

1039
00:49:01,355 --> 00:49:02,773
Oh. Don't-- Oh!

1040
00:49:02,773 --> 00:49:03,690
[Will] Mm.

1041
00:49:04,191 --> 00:49:06,693
- [crunching]
- And where did these come from?

1042
00:49:08,111 --> 00:49:10,614
[Harper] We got them at a Walmart.
It was in Indianapolis.

1043
00:49:10,614 --> 00:49:13,450
They taste different.
You can tell they're from Indiana.

1044
00:49:13,450 --> 00:49:17,412
- [Harper] Oh yeah, definitely.
- [Will and Harper chuckling]

1045
00:49:17,412 --> 00:49:20,582
<i>♪ I wanna hold the hand inside... ♪</i>

1046
00:49:20,582 --> 00:49:22,834
[Harper] See what we got here. That's...

1047
00:49:22,834 --> 00:49:25,045
Think my mother collected all those.

1048
00:49:25,629 --> 00:49:26,588
[Will] Wow.

1049
00:49:26,588 --> 00:49:29,591
<i>♪ I wanna take a breath and... ♪</i>

1050
00:49:29,591 --> 00:49:31,843
[Harper] These are little school photos of

1051
00:49:32,344 --> 00:49:35,222
cute Harper Steele when she was confused.

1052
00:49:35,222 --> 00:49:37,766
And this is probably around the age

1053
00:49:37,766 --> 00:49:39,977
where I started to feel
just kind of weird.

1054
00:49:39,977 --> 00:49:40,894
[Will] Yeah.

1055
00:49:40,894 --> 00:49:44,523
[Harper] And, uh...
you just start to think to yourself

1056
00:49:44,523 --> 00:49:47,192
that, uh, everyone feels the same way.

1057
00:49:47,192 --> 00:49:48,819
So you're just kind of quiet...

1058
00:49:48,819 --> 00:49:52,739
[chuckles] ...about the whole deal.
It's like, "We all feel that way, right?"

1059
00:49:54,574 --> 00:49:57,661
Every time I see
a picture like this of me...

1060
00:49:58,829 --> 00:50:02,082
I mean, here I am in the newspaper.
I used to ride a unicycle.

1061
00:50:02,582 --> 00:50:06,169
I... I rode all over town,
Iowa City, on... on the unicycle.

1062
00:50:07,170 --> 00:50:09,381
I love this photo. This is, uh...

1063
00:50:10,257 --> 00:50:12,884
Whenever I see myself
as a little girl. [chuckles]

1064
00:50:13,927 --> 00:50:15,971
I swear to God, I love this photo.

1065
00:50:17,931 --> 00:50:18,765
Yeah.

1066
00:50:20,058 --> 00:50:21,393
Darn it. [chuckles emotionally]

1067
00:50:21,393 --> 00:50:26,189
<i>♪ Fade into you ♪</i>

1068
00:50:30,569 --> 00:50:35,365
<i>♪ Strange you never knew... ♪</i>

1069
00:50:36,074 --> 00:50:37,409
[Harper] Yeah, this is it.

1070
00:50:38,493 --> 00:50:40,370
This is the house that I grew up in.

1071
00:50:43,331 --> 00:50:46,501
I used to skateboard. Did all
my early skateboarding tricks out here.

1072
00:50:46,501 --> 00:50:49,588
- I used to do my pole-vaulting this side.
- Down this, like...

1073
00:50:49,588 --> 00:50:52,591
Yeah, we had this--
I had-- My mother built a little--

1074
00:50:53,091 --> 00:50:55,677
Uh, she helped me build
a pole-vaulting mat

1075
00:50:55,677 --> 00:50:58,055
out of a bunch of potato sacks and--

1076
00:50:58,055 --> 00:50:59,848
- So you'd run down that way.
- Yeah. Choo.

1077
00:50:59,848 --> 00:51:02,517
[Will] And then--
But in the backyard was where...

1078
00:51:02,517 --> 00:51:04,269
- The puck was. Yeah.
- [Will] Okay.

1079
00:51:04,269 --> 00:51:08,273
And I'd smack it, and I'd--
You know, seven feet.

1080
00:51:08,273 --> 00:51:10,484
What was I gonna do all summer,
play with other people?

1081
00:51:10,484 --> 00:51:12,152
- No, I pole-vaulted.
- [chuckles]

1082
00:51:12,152 --> 00:51:14,279
[both laughing]

1083
00:51:16,531 --> 00:51:19,785
I came home from City High one day,
and I was just kinda bored.

1084
00:51:19,785 --> 00:51:22,496
So I started acting like I was drunk
on the way home.

1085
00:51:22,496 --> 00:51:24,247
- [chuckles]
- And-- Oh, I could ride that.

1086
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:25,874
Hey, can I ride that?

1087
00:51:26,541 --> 00:51:28,877
Do you mind if she borrows your unicycle
just for a second?

1088
00:51:28,877 --> 00:51:29,795
[kid] What?

1089
00:51:29,795 --> 00:51:32,047
Could she just ride your unicycle
for a second?

1090
00:51:32,047 --> 00:51:32,964
Why?

1091
00:51:32,964 --> 00:51:35,050
- She knows how to ride one.
- [kid] Sure.

1092
00:51:35,050 --> 00:51:36,468
- Yeah, thanks.
- Oh, that's awesome.

1093
00:51:36,468 --> 00:51:38,261
I'm in heels,
so it might be a little hard.

1094
00:51:38,845 --> 00:51:40,764
- [Will] What's your name?
- My name's Quinn. Yours?

1095
00:51:40,764 --> 00:51:42,265
- [Harper] That's Will Ferrell.
- Cool.

1096
00:51:42,265 --> 00:51:45,143
[Harper] I like to have this up here,
so when I fall, it's gonna be good.

1097
00:51:45,143 --> 00:51:47,813
She was bragging
about being able to ride a unicycle.

1098
00:51:48,438 --> 00:51:50,315
Is that your mode of transportation,
pretty much?

1099
00:51:50,315 --> 00:51:52,651
This was my mode of transportation
in junior high.

1100
00:51:52,651 --> 00:51:54,319
- Give me a second.
- [Will] Yeah.

1101
00:51:54,319 --> 00:51:56,488
- I'll stand--
- It's been many years, okay?

1102
00:51:56,488 --> 00:51:58,281
- All right.
- Once you're on though...

1103
00:51:58,281 --> 00:52:00,117
- [Will] Whoa!
- [Harper] Once you're on.

1104
00:52:00,117 --> 00:52:01,701
- There we go.
- [Will giggles]

1105
00:52:01,701 --> 00:52:03,495
[Harper] Here we go. Oh boy.

1106
00:52:04,121 --> 00:52:04,996
Oh my God.

1107
00:52:05,622 --> 00:52:07,165
[chuckling] No, no, no.

1108
00:52:07,165 --> 00:52:10,210
- It's so... it's so unstable.
- [Will giggling]

1109
00:52:10,210 --> 00:52:11,878
[Will and Harper laughing]

1110
00:52:13,463 --> 00:52:15,549
I spent so many long--
I lived on this thing for years.

1111
00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:19,344
- [Will] <i>♪ La-di-da, on Sunday afternoon ♪</i>
- Okay, good. Here we go. Goddamn.

1112
00:52:19,344 --> 00:52:21,138
<i>- ♪ In Iowa City ♪</i>
- Okay, there we go.

1113
00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:23,849
- Hey, Harper. Good to see you.
- Hey, Will. How you doing?

1114
00:52:23,849 --> 00:52:25,142
[Harper chuckling] Bye.

1115
00:52:25,767 --> 00:52:27,394
[gasps breathlessly] Whoa.

1116
00:52:28,770 --> 00:52:30,981
- Oh!
- Thanks for letting us borrow.

1117
00:52:31,648 --> 00:52:34,234
Yeah. Well, have a good day.

1118
00:52:34,234 --> 00:52:36,528
- [Harper] Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.

1119
00:52:36,528 --> 00:52:38,196
- Anyway--
- I'm blown away.

1120
00:52:38,196 --> 00:52:39,906
- That's what I did.
- [Will] Wow.

1121
00:52:39,906 --> 00:52:42,492
[Harper] I'd go to junior high
like that every day for two years.

1122
00:52:43,910 --> 00:52:45,412
- Man, that's weird.
- I know.

1123
00:52:45,412 --> 00:52:47,998
- Very weird.
- ["Shelter from the Storm" playing]

1124
00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:50,709
- [Will] Well, thanks, Eleanor.
- [Eleanor] All right.

1125
00:52:50,709 --> 00:52:53,170
- You're good on Pringles, right?
- I still have some.

1126
00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:54,880
- Okay.
- Yeah. Thank you though.

1127
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:56,381
- [Will] All right.
- I enjoyed 'em.

1128
00:52:57,132 --> 00:52:59,134
<i>♪ "Come in," she said, "I'll give ya" ♪</i>

1129
00:52:59,634 --> 00:53:01,636
<i>♪ "Shelter from the storm</i>..." ♪

1130
00:53:02,137 --> 00:53:02,971
Look at it.

1131
00:53:02,971 --> 00:53:04,598
- Look at the snow!
- I know.

1132
00:53:04,598 --> 00:53:06,766
Does this technically count as a blizzard?

1133
00:53:06,766 --> 00:53:08,852
- No, this is nothing like a blizzard.
- Okay.

1134
00:53:08,852 --> 00:53:10,562
[Harper] No, no, this is light snow.

1135
00:53:10,562 --> 00:53:13,940
- These flakes seem big.
- No, this is a light flurry.

1136
00:53:13,940 --> 00:53:15,650
<i>♪ If I pass this way again ♪</i>

1137
00:53:16,151 --> 00:53:17,986
<i>♪ You can rest assured ♪</i>

1138
00:53:17,986 --> 00:53:19,196
<i>♪ I'll always do... ♪</i>

1139
00:53:19,196 --> 00:53:20,906
- [Harper] Oh.
- [Will] It is a blizzard.

1140
00:53:20,906 --> 00:53:23,366
[Harper] It's beginning to look
a little less like a flurry.

1141
00:53:23,366 --> 00:53:25,869
- Maybe I'll give you that.
- [Will] See, I called it.

1142
00:53:26,912 --> 00:53:28,830
<i>♪ "Come in," she said, "I'll give ya" ♪</i>

1143
00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:31,208
<i>♪ "Shelter from the storm" ♪</i>

1144
00:53:37,422 --> 00:53:38,506
[music fades]

1145
00:53:38,506 --> 00:53:40,759
[Will] So I was so curious.

1146
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:45,847
Just... I don't know, I just thought--
I... I... I never asked you, like...

1147
00:53:47,390 --> 00:53:48,350
[Harper] Okay, go.

1148
00:53:48,850 --> 00:53:50,310
- Go.
- How... how are your boobs?

1149
00:53:50,810 --> 00:53:52,187
- As if--
- Now you got boobs.

1150
00:53:52,687 --> 00:53:53,813
I love my boobs.

1151
00:53:54,397 --> 00:53:58,276
When you woke up from that s-- Was it--

1152
00:53:59,110 --> 00:54:00,779
I like to think it was like...

1153
00:54:02,113 --> 00:54:03,198
[both chuckling]

1154
00:54:03,198 --> 00:54:05,951
Was it just like the heavens
were sing... in a way?

1155
00:54:05,951 --> 00:54:09,329
I joke that I did puberty
in about four hours.

1156
00:54:09,329 --> 00:54:10,330
[Will chuckles]

1157
00:54:10,330 --> 00:54:13,291
But... as soon as I woke up,

1158
00:54:14,751 --> 00:54:15,669
I was like,

1159
00:54:17,504 --> 00:54:18,463
"This is amazing."

1160
00:54:18,463 --> 00:54:19,381
Yeah.

1161
00:54:19,381 --> 00:54:23,718
Every time I've done something that's
made me feel better in my own body--

1162
00:54:23,718 --> 00:54:25,095
- Yeah.
- For myself--

1163
00:54:25,095 --> 00:54:27,973
- [Will] It's amazing.
- There's-- It... it... it... it's been...

1164
00:54:28,848 --> 00:54:31,559
- [Will] Exhilarating. Yeah.
- Yeah. Guns a-blazing.

1165
00:54:31,559 --> 00:54:34,020
- [Will] Yup. That's great.
- So...

1166
00:54:34,020 --> 00:54:37,357
- So that was my experience with the boobs.
- Okay. What-- Okay.

1167
00:54:37,357 --> 00:54:38,858
So this... this is a big one,

1168
00:54:38,858 --> 00:54:41,820
but... but maybe, you know,
maybe we save this for later.

1169
00:54:41,820 --> 00:54:43,363
You are a friend of mine.

1170
00:54:43,363 --> 00:54:46,324
I invite any friend of mine
to ask me these questions.

1171
00:54:46,324 --> 00:54:48,326
I am not afraid to talk about it.

1172
00:54:48,326 --> 00:54:53,290
Do you foresee wanting to have
other physical augmentation?

1173
00:54:55,917 --> 00:54:57,627
- Possibly.
- [Will] In the future.

1174
00:54:57,627 --> 00:55:00,880
[Harper] When I first started
thinking about transitioning,

1175
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:02,674
in terms of bottom surgery,

1176
00:55:02,674 --> 00:55:04,801
I was like, "Well, I'm 61."

1177
00:55:06,136 --> 00:55:07,721
"I'm not gonna be a--"

1178
00:55:07,721 --> 00:55:12,350
"I'm not out there
with a super active sexual life, really."

1179
00:55:12,350 --> 00:55:13,310
[Will] Yeah.

1180
00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:16,104
- But there's also the dysphoric side.
- [Will] Yeah.

1181
00:55:16,104 --> 00:55:21,484
Looking in a mirror and seeing something
that doesn't fit with how I feel.

1182
00:55:21,484 --> 00:55:22,485
- So...
- [Will] Yeah.

1183
00:55:22,485 --> 00:55:23,903
- [Harper] I don't know.
- Yeah.

1184
00:55:23,903 --> 00:55:25,905
- [Harper] That's a tough one to answer.
- Right.

1185
00:55:25,905 --> 00:55:29,492
But, uh... Was there
any more boob questions you needed?

1186
00:55:29,492 --> 00:55:32,287
- [Will] No, but I did wanna ask, however--
- Okay.

1187
00:55:32,287 --> 00:55:34,164
Have you been to the--

1188
00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:37,876
have you been in Nordstrom's Rack
since you've gotten your own rack?

1189
00:55:37,876 --> 00:55:40,253
- Very good. Very-- Very good.
- Ha-ha!

1190
00:55:40,253 --> 00:55:42,714
And Will Ferrell wins
the Best Joke of the Year award.

1191
00:55:42,714 --> 00:55:46,718
Thank you. I knew as soon as I said it,
I got Best Joke of the Year.

1192
00:55:46,718 --> 00:55:49,262
I hate analyzing comedy
because it kinda ruins it.

1193
00:55:49,262 --> 00:55:51,306
- In this case, it won't.
- You gotta break it down.

1194
00:55:51,306 --> 00:55:53,141
- You do-- [chuckles]
- [Will] You gotta.

1195
00:55:53,141 --> 00:55:56,895
-"Harper, What exactly did he do there?"
- But let me explain how he got there.

1196
00:55:56,895 --> 00:55:58,605
Will started with,

1197
00:55:58,605 --> 00:56:01,316
"When you got your new rack."

1198
00:56:01,316 --> 00:56:03,360
The connection is, "Did you go..."

1199
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:04,861
"...to Nordstrom?"

1200
00:56:04,861 --> 00:56:06,529
- Ah!
- [both chuckling]

1201
00:56:06,529 --> 00:56:08,782
- [Will] God. Wow.
- And the two racks, different racks.

1202
00:56:08,782 --> 00:56:11,159
One of them's different,
but they're the same rack.

1203
00:56:11,159 --> 00:56:12,535
- [Will] Wow.
- Yeah.

1204
00:56:12,535 --> 00:56:14,913
[upbeat music plays]

1205
00:56:20,126 --> 00:56:22,796
- [Harper] Thank you.
- [Will] Seen any famous people today?

1206
00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:23,880
- [woman] No.
- [Will] Okay.

1207
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:25,673
- [woman] Just you.
- [Will chuckles gleefully]

1208
00:56:25,673 --> 00:56:27,967
- [Will] Yeah! Whoo!
- [Harper] Yeah!

1209
00:56:30,178 --> 00:56:32,472
- [Will] Fireworks...
- [Harper] Fireworks world!

1210
00:56:32,472 --> 00:56:34,808
- [Will] This is gigantic.
- [Harper] Oh my God.

1211
00:56:34,808 --> 00:56:36,726
[music continues]

1212
00:56:37,685 --> 00:56:41,815
- Holy Nishiki!
- [laughs] I want something dangerous.

1213
00:56:41,815 --> 00:56:43,233
[Will] Ooh, Gator Gun.

1214
00:56:43,233 --> 00:56:45,944
Yeah, that's it.
Honey Badger. It's the Honey Badger.

1215
00:56:45,944 --> 00:56:46,945
- Set it down.
- Yep.

1216
00:56:46,945 --> 00:56:49,155
Pull the fuse,
or pull the sticker off the fuse.

1217
00:56:49,155 --> 00:56:51,449
- You're gonna light that, then run away.
- Light, and book.

1218
00:56:53,076 --> 00:56:54,327
[music continues]

1219
00:56:54,327 --> 00:56:56,287
How many clean undies do you have left?

1220
00:56:56,788 --> 00:56:58,832
I'm getting down to the...

1221
00:56:58,832 --> 00:57:00,333
- [Harper] Nitty-gritty?
- Yup, yup.

1222
00:57:00,333 --> 00:57:01,459
[music continues]

1223
00:57:16,349 --> 00:57:17,934
[music fades out]

1224
00:57:21,980 --> 00:57:25,775
[Will] So...
we're heading to Meeker, Oklahoma.

1225
00:57:25,775 --> 00:57:26,734
[Harper] Uh-huh.

1226
00:57:27,485 --> 00:57:30,864
[Will] And this is in the category
of places you would have visited

1227
00:57:30,864 --> 00:57:32,407
and not thought twice about.

1228
00:57:32,407 --> 00:57:34,826
And so what are you feeling?
What are you thinking?

1229
00:57:35,326 --> 00:57:37,954
I'm nervous and anxious, like...

1230
00:57:40,165 --> 00:57:41,666
You know I love these kind of places.

1231
00:57:41,666 --> 00:57:46,463
You know that I spent my life
driving back and forth across the country,

1232
00:57:46,463 --> 00:57:48,256
going to little towns like this,

1233
00:57:48,256 --> 00:57:50,967
stopping in bars,
drinking, meeting people.

1234
00:57:50,967 --> 00:57:53,761
But I just don't know if I can anymore.

1235
00:58:01,352 --> 00:58:02,187
Okay.

1236
00:58:03,271 --> 00:58:07,275
[Will] So you-- You're gonna call me
if... if it's feeling dicey.

1237
00:58:07,275 --> 00:58:08,443
I'm gonna-- You know what?

1238
00:58:08,443 --> 00:58:11,154
- I'm gonna put it on speed dial.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1239
00:58:11,154 --> 00:58:13,198
- [Harper] And you come running in.
- Yep.

1240
00:58:13,198 --> 00:58:14,991
[Harper] With that mug of yours.

1241
00:58:15,783 --> 00:58:18,328
- [Will] I could go in with you right now.
- No.

1242
00:58:18,328 --> 00:58:22,081
I would feel better if that were the case,
but I just wanna try this thing.

1243
00:58:22,081 --> 00:58:25,543
I'm not gonna have an exper--
I won't be able to try this on my own.

1244
00:58:25,543 --> 00:58:27,420
- I might as well try it now.
- Yeah.

1245
00:58:29,964 --> 00:58:30,798
Oh...

1246
00:58:31,883 --> 00:58:33,801
[tense music playing]

1247
00:58:43,186 --> 00:58:44,354
[inaudible]

1248
00:58:46,064 --> 00:58:47,524
[tense music continues]

1249
00:58:59,118 --> 00:59:00,787
[tense music building]

1250
00:59:03,206 --> 00:59:05,041
[bar music, noise fading in]

1251
00:59:12,340 --> 00:59:14,133
- [Harper] How you doing?
- [woman] Doin' well.

1252
00:59:14,133 --> 00:59:15,927
- How you doing?
- I'm doing good.

1253
00:59:16,594 --> 00:59:17,720
What's your name?

1254
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:18,638
Dominique.

1255
00:59:18,638 --> 00:59:21,891
- Dominique. Harper Steele.
- [Dominique] Harper Steele.

1256
00:59:21,891 --> 00:59:23,184
What's going on?

1257
00:59:23,184 --> 00:59:24,435
[woman] Who are you?

1258
00:59:24,435 --> 00:59:26,563
My name's Harper. Who are you?

1259
00:59:26,563 --> 00:59:27,689
I'm Mama T.

1260
00:59:28,565 --> 00:59:29,440
You're Mama T?

1261
00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:31,985
- Oh yeah.
- All right. I heard about you.

1262
00:59:31,985 --> 00:59:33,111
- Yeah.
- [Dominique laughs]

1263
00:59:33,111 --> 00:59:35,989
I haven't heard about her.
Sorry about that.

1264
00:59:35,989 --> 00:59:38,199
- We's just messin' with you.
- Okay.

1265
00:59:38,992 --> 00:59:40,243
Y'all from Oklahoma?

1266
00:59:41,119 --> 00:59:43,079
No, no, no it's all right. I've been--

1267
00:59:43,079 --> 00:59:47,292
That's why I came in here.
I've been in a lot of bars in my life, so...

1268
00:59:47,875 --> 00:59:50,878
Trying to feel like if I can go back
to bars since I transitioned.

1269
00:59:50,878 --> 00:59:52,297
- That's the problem.
- [man 1] Yeah.

1270
00:59:52,297 --> 00:59:54,048
[music thumping in distance]

1271
00:59:55,425 --> 00:59:57,135
- [man 2] Whoa.
- [laughter]

1272
00:59:59,262 --> 01:00:03,725
- Oklahoma, thank you. Oh, thank you.
- [man 3] Harper, where you from?

1273
01:00:03,725 --> 01:00:06,769
- [Harper] I'm from, uh, Iowa.
- [Dominique] Iowa!

1274
01:00:06,769 --> 01:00:10,064
Yeah, Iowa, but I live in New York now.

1275
01:00:10,064 --> 01:00:13,234
- [Dominique] You're on the East Coast.
- I'm on the East Coast. Yeah.

1276
01:00:13,234 --> 01:00:15,445
[Dominique] How's that going for you guys?

1277
01:00:16,237 --> 01:00:17,405
Or gals. [laughs]

1278
01:00:17,405 --> 01:00:18,865
I... I-- Thank you.

1279
01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:23,578
I like... I like, uh, Iowa more,
but I can't make any money there.

1280
01:00:23,578 --> 01:00:25,288
- So...
- [Dominique] Oh really?

1281
01:00:25,288 --> 01:00:27,123
[Harper] Yeah, I write for TV.

1282
01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:31,794
I'm gonna text my friend.
He's parking the car out there.

1283
01:00:32,962 --> 01:00:34,297
- Hello?
- [Harper] <i>Hey.</i>

1284
01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:35,214
Hey.

1285
01:00:35,798 --> 01:00:37,008
- <i>Come on in.</i>
- Okay.

1286
01:00:39,385 --> 01:00:41,137
[Will] Hey. Hi.

1287
01:00:41,137 --> 01:00:43,556
[Harper] I want you to meet these guys.
These are my friends.

1288
01:00:43,556 --> 01:00:46,434
- Is this Will Ferrell?
- [woman 1] Yes, it is.

1289
01:00:46,434 --> 01:00:48,353
- [woman 2] For real?
- [woman 1] Yeah!

1290
01:00:48,853 --> 01:00:50,938
- This is my friend Harper.
- [Harper] How you doin'?

1291
01:00:50,938 --> 01:00:52,523
- Nice to meet you, bro.
- [Harper] Hey.

1292
01:00:52,523 --> 01:00:53,524
- Not a bro though.
- She.

1293
01:00:53,524 --> 01:00:55,610
- [Harper] It's a she, but that's okay.
- Oh. Sorry.

1294
01:00:55,610 --> 01:00:58,071
[Harper] That's all right.
You can try again.

1295
01:00:58,071 --> 01:00:59,322
- Yeah.
- [Harper] Yeah.

1296
01:00:59,322 --> 01:01:01,991
About a year and a half ago,
I transitioned.

1297
01:01:02,575 --> 01:01:06,454
And now Will wants to kind of go out
in the middle of the country with me.

1298
01:01:06,454 --> 01:01:09,290
- Oh my goodness. That's great.
- That's cool. Hey, it's...

1299
01:01:09,874 --> 01:01:12,043
I like your support for your friend.

1300
01:01:12,627 --> 01:01:15,755
No, that's amazing.
There's not a lot of that nowadays.

1301
01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:17,924
- You know?
- [Will] Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1302
01:01:17,924 --> 01:01:19,676
I got a lot of... friends...

1303
01:01:19,676 --> 01:01:21,177
[woman speaks indistinctly]

1304
01:01:21,177 --> 01:01:23,221
[Will] Do you have a lot of trans friends?

1305
01:01:23,763 --> 01:01:25,431
- Not trans, but they are bi.
- [woman] I do.

1306
01:01:25,431 --> 01:01:28,393
- [Will] Yeah? You do?
- Oh yeah. Sure.

1307
01:01:28,393 --> 01:01:29,977
- [indistinct chattering]
- Sure.

1308
01:01:29,977 --> 01:01:32,814
[Will] Wait, Harper,
these are Native American--

1309
01:01:32,814 --> 01:01:36,067
- They want to sing us a... Yeah.
- Native America, here we go.

1310
01:01:36,067 --> 01:01:39,320
So here we go. Here's a little bit
of Oklahoma and Native America.

1311
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:41,489
[singing Native American folk song]

1312
01:01:48,579 --> 01:01:50,540
[singing continues]

1313
01:02:11,436 --> 01:02:12,437
[Will] Yeah!

1314
01:02:12,437 --> 01:02:13,396
- Whoo!
- [applause]

1315
01:02:13,396 --> 01:02:15,189
- Wow.
- [Will] Nice to meet you.

1316
01:02:15,189 --> 01:02:17,233
- Wow.
- [man] Welcome to Oklahoma.

1317
01:02:17,233 --> 01:02:19,944
- [Will] That's beautiful.
- Welcome to Native America.

1318
01:02:19,944 --> 01:02:22,155
- Yeah, exactly.
- [Dominique] Thank you.

1319
01:02:22,155 --> 01:02:23,114
[Will] Thank you.

1320
01:02:23,114 --> 01:02:25,199
["America" by First Aid Kit playing]

1321
01:02:30,955 --> 01:02:31,914
Wow.

1322
01:02:32,498 --> 01:02:35,293
- Be safe. So nice to meet you.
- [Mama T] Nice to meet you.

1323
01:02:35,293 --> 01:02:38,588
- [Harper] That was very--
- I tried to give you a bit of Oklahoma.

1324
01:02:38,588 --> 01:02:40,506
- That was very touching, buddy.
- Thank you.

1325
01:02:41,007 --> 01:02:44,010
- Enjoy your time here. Be safe.
- Thanks for comin'.

1326
01:02:44,010 --> 01:02:46,095
- Hey. Thanks for having us.
- Yup.

1327
01:02:46,637 --> 01:02:47,764
[Harper] Have a good night.

1328
01:02:53,853 --> 01:02:59,233
<i>♪ Let us be lovers
We'll marry our fortunes together ♪</i>

1329
01:03:02,361 --> 01:03:07,575
<i>♪ I've got some real estate
Here in my bag ♪</i>

1330
01:03:07,575 --> 01:03:09,660
<i>♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪</i>

1331
01:03:09,660 --> 01:03:12,205
<i>♪ So we bought a pack of cigarettes ♪</i>

1332
01:03:12,205 --> 01:03:16,918
<i>♪ And Mrs. Wagner pies ♪</i>

1333
01:03:16,918 --> 01:03:23,716
<i>♪ And we walked off to look for America... ♪</i>

1334
01:03:25,843 --> 01:03:27,261
- Hey.
- I'm Travis Cobb.

1335
01:03:27,261 --> 01:03:30,097
- Hi, Travis. This is my friend Harper.
- How you doing?

1336
01:03:30,097 --> 01:03:31,516
- Harper, Travis.
- Nice to meet you.

1337
01:03:35,645 --> 01:03:38,064
I used to come out
to these kind of places before

1338
01:03:38,064 --> 01:03:41,025
when I was... still a guy.

1339
01:03:41,567 --> 01:03:44,695
And then I transitioned,
and I got a little afraid because...

1340
01:03:44,695 --> 01:03:47,698
- You know what I'm saying. So...
- Yeah. No, don't be afraid.

1341
01:03:47,698 --> 01:03:48,783
[Harper] Yeah, okay.

1342
01:03:48,783 --> 01:03:51,828
- If you enjoy it, come out.
- [Harper] All right, thank you.

1343
01:03:51,828 --> 01:03:53,329
- You know?
- [Harper] Yeah.

1344
01:03:58,709 --> 01:04:02,672
- [man] Don't worry about it. You know?
- No, I think that's... that's good to hear.

1345
01:04:03,172 --> 01:04:06,342
That's not how I felt. I keep hearing
on the news all this terrible stuff.

1346
01:04:06,342 --> 01:04:07,426
[man] Are you happy?

1347
01:04:07,426 --> 01:04:10,096
Oh, I'm 100% happier. You bet I am.

1348
01:04:12,890 --> 01:04:14,016
Thank you.

1349
01:04:14,016 --> 01:04:15,685
Thanks, guys. Pleasure.

1350
01:04:20,565 --> 01:04:25,403
[Harper] I'm a little bit in shock.
And that's not on them. That's on me.

1351
01:04:27,989 --> 01:04:30,825
I'm not really afraid of these people.

1352
01:04:30,825 --> 01:04:31,993
[Will] Yeah, right.

1353
01:04:31,993 --> 01:04:34,829
[Harper sniffles]
I'm afraid of hating myself.

1354
01:04:36,247 --> 01:04:37,081
[Will] Whoa.

1355
01:04:38,416 --> 01:04:42,837
[Harper] And I'm like, "You are a freak.
What are you doing here?"

1356
01:04:42,837 --> 01:04:45,172
There's just-- That is sitting underneath.

1357
01:04:45,882 --> 01:04:47,466
And then... [sniffles]

1358
01:04:50,177 --> 01:04:51,178
Agh! [sniffles]

1359
01:04:51,804 --> 01:04:52,889
Yeah. [sniffles]

1360
01:04:53,806 --> 01:04:54,724
[groans]

1361
01:05:05,151 --> 01:05:06,068
Oh boy.

1362
01:05:08,821 --> 01:05:09,822
[Will sighs]

1363
01:05:11,282 --> 01:05:12,199
God...

1364
01:05:13,326 --> 01:05:14,577
Yeah, it's okay. I just--

1365
01:05:14,577 --> 01:05:16,871
- [Will] It's okay.
- I don't even-- Oh my God.

1366
01:05:16,871 --> 01:05:18,664
- [Will] Yeah.
- [sniffles, groans]

1367
01:05:21,626 --> 01:05:22,627
[Will clears throat]

1368
01:05:23,961 --> 01:05:24,962
[Harper sniffles]

1369
01:05:27,256 --> 01:05:28,174
Agh.

1370
01:05:29,425 --> 01:05:31,260
[voice wavers] Thanks, buddy. Ooh.

1371
01:05:31,260 --> 01:05:32,261
[sniffles]

1372
01:05:48,152 --> 01:05:49,403
[music fades out]

1373
01:05:49,403 --> 01:05:52,198
[Harper] December 2016.

1374
01:05:54,617 --> 01:05:56,577
"I know some mornings, like this one."

1375
01:05:57,078 --> 01:05:59,580
"I wake up without any connection
to the world,

1376
01:06:00,081 --> 01:06:03,250
positive that to connect with
a woman or a man,

1377
01:06:03,250 --> 01:06:05,544
I would have to lie and hide myself."

1378
01:06:06,295 --> 01:06:07,880
"That is very depressing."

1379
01:06:09,173 --> 01:06:12,760
"I dream of a world where I can lay
my vulnerabilities out there -

1380
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:15,638
open for everyone
until they are my strengths."

1381
01:06:16,138 --> 01:06:17,556
"I am longing for this."

1382
01:06:19,809 --> 01:06:22,061
[Will] That's one of the things
I was gonna ask about

1383
01:06:22,061 --> 01:06:24,647
which we kind of haven't touched upon.

1384
01:06:25,356 --> 01:06:28,901
- I'm assuming you wanna start dating?
- Yeah.

1385
01:06:29,402 --> 01:06:31,070
- Yes.
- Right? And you wanna...

1386
01:06:31,862 --> 01:06:37,118
And you wanna go out
and go to the bar and pick up someone

1387
01:06:37,118 --> 01:06:39,829
or be picked up, that kind of encounter.

1388
01:06:39,829 --> 01:06:42,832
- I am a monogamous person.
- Yeah.

1389
01:06:42,832 --> 01:06:46,043
And I... I'm optimistic.

1390
01:06:46,043 --> 01:06:47,253
- [Will] Yeah.
- I'm 61.

1391
01:06:47,253 --> 01:06:51,257
But I would love to be
in a relationship again.

1392
01:06:51,257 --> 01:06:55,219
And are-- In your mind's eye,
are you interested in a trans woman?

1393
01:06:55,928 --> 01:06:56,846
- Uh...
- Sure.

1394
01:06:56,846 --> 01:06:58,639
- A man? Or... Yeah.
- [Harper] Sure.

1395
01:06:58,639 --> 01:07:01,225
- Sure. Yeah, sure.
- Okay, yeah. Gotcha. Okay.

1396
01:07:01,225 --> 01:07:05,229
I mean, for me, it sounds corny,
but the type is the one that--

1397
01:07:05,229 --> 01:07:07,398
- It's a blank canvas at this point.
- Yeah.

1398
01:07:07,398 --> 01:07:11,402
And the one that I can wake up
in the morning, drink coffee in bed,

1399
01:07:11,402 --> 01:07:14,321
and talk about the stupid movie
we watched the night before.

1400
01:07:14,321 --> 01:07:16,407
- That's the main thing. Yeah.
- That's--

1401
01:07:16,407 --> 01:07:18,617
I really have to say,
I know that sounds corny.

1402
01:07:18,617 --> 01:07:21,328
But I am waiting
for that experience to happen.

1403
01:07:21,328 --> 01:07:24,415
And I'm 61,
so the clock's ticking. [chuckles]

1404
01:07:24,415 --> 01:07:27,793
["Truck Drivin' Son-of-a-Gun"
by Dave Dudley playing]

1405
01:07:27,793 --> 01:07:29,795
[Will] State line. "Welcome to Texas."

1406
01:07:30,755 --> 01:07:32,923
[Harper] Yeah. "Welcome to Texas."

1407
01:07:32,923 --> 01:07:35,134
<i>♪ ...from Boston to St. Louis... ♪</i>

1408
01:07:35,134 --> 01:07:36,927
Take one of me kind of sexy.

1409
01:07:36,927 --> 01:07:38,596
<i>♪ I don't even know... ♪</i>

1410
01:07:38,596 --> 01:07:40,890
- [Will chuckling] Oh yeah!
- [camera clicking]

1411
01:07:40,890 --> 01:07:42,224
♪ '<i>Cause I like my women</i>... ♪

1412
01:07:42,224 --> 01:07:43,809
- On the count of three.
- Yeah.

1413
01:07:43,809 --> 01:07:45,352
[both] Texas!

1414
01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:48,898
<i>♪ So roll on, big wheels ♪</i>

1415
01:07:48,898 --> 01:07:51,025
<i>♪ Don't you roll so slow... ♪</i>

1416
01:07:53,235 --> 01:07:54,111
Whoa!

1417
01:07:54,111 --> 01:07:56,113
- [Harper] What?
-"Free 72-ounce steak."

1418
01:07:56,113 --> 01:07:59,450
[Harper] That's the Big Texan.
Okay. We're gonna go there tonight.

1419
01:07:59,450 --> 01:08:01,952
Oh, you gotta eat it in one hour though.

1420
01:08:01,952 --> 01:08:04,371
- One hour?
- I think that's what it said.

1421
01:08:04,872 --> 01:08:05,831
You could do it.

1422
01:08:05,831 --> 01:08:07,792
[Will] I mean,
I don't know if <i>I</i> could do it,

1423
01:08:07,792 --> 01:08:11,212
but I know of
a certain Victorian-era detective

1424
01:08:11,212 --> 01:08:13,297
who would find it delicious.

1425
01:08:13,297 --> 01:08:14,256
[Harper] No, no.

1426
01:08:14,256 --> 01:08:16,300
- [Will] Oh yeah.
- [Harper] Oh boy.

1427
01:08:19,261 --> 01:08:21,222
[music fades]

1428
01:08:21,222 --> 01:08:23,140
[indistinct chatter]

1429
01:08:27,394 --> 01:08:28,521
[woman 1] Yeah!

1430
01:08:29,438 --> 01:08:31,649
[scattered cheering, whistling]

1431
01:08:31,649 --> 01:08:33,150
[Will] Ladies and gentlemen,

1432
01:08:33,818 --> 01:08:37,321
the world's greatest private investigator,
Sherlock Holmes.

1433
01:08:37,321 --> 01:08:39,657
[cheering, applause]

1434
01:08:41,242 --> 01:08:42,993
[woman 2] Ricky Bobby!

1435
01:08:44,078 --> 01:08:46,914
- Not Ricky Bobby, Sherlock Holmes.
- [laughter]

1436
01:08:48,124 --> 01:08:51,460
- I packed this hoping--
- Yes.

1437
01:08:51,460 --> 01:08:53,796
- To get you at some point.
- And here it is.

1438
01:08:55,714 --> 01:08:57,967
- Oh boy!
- [Will] Hey! Hi, how are you?

1439
01:08:57,967 --> 01:08:59,969
- Blessed, brother.
- [Will] Nice to meet you.

1440
01:08:59,969 --> 01:09:01,720
[server] How do you want me
to announce you?

1441
01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:03,931
- Sherlock Holmes from London, England.
- [server] Yep.

1442
01:09:04,431 --> 01:09:07,226
- With his guest, Harper Steele.
- Harper Steele.

1443
01:09:07,226 --> 01:09:09,311
- Ms. Harper Steele.
<i>- Miss</i> Harper Steele?

1444
01:09:09,311 --> 01:09:11,063
- [Will] Ms.
- Yeah, Ms. Harper Steele.

1445
01:09:11,063 --> 01:09:13,023
[server] Ms. Harper Steele. Done.

1446
01:09:13,524 --> 01:09:16,694
We have Sherlock Holmes
all the way from London, England,

1447
01:09:16,694 --> 01:09:19,572
with his guest, uh... Harper Steele,

1448
01:09:19,572 --> 01:09:22,950
Ms. Harper Steele. And he has
one hour to eat a 72-ounce steak.

1449
01:09:22,950 --> 01:09:24,702
[tense music playing]

1450
01:09:28,372 --> 01:09:29,540
Oh, can I get a beer?

1451
01:09:43,554 --> 01:09:45,431
I'm eating out of nervousness.

1452
01:09:46,015 --> 01:09:49,226
As much as I've been in a fishbowl
in various times in my life...

1453
01:09:49,226 --> 01:09:50,227
Yeah.

1454
01:09:50,227 --> 01:09:51,979
...this trumps all of it.

1455
01:09:53,898 --> 01:09:55,399
[tense music continues]

1456
01:10:06,952 --> 01:10:08,454
[tense music continues]

1457
01:10:37,650 --> 01:10:39,443
[tense music fades]

1458
01:10:41,737 --> 01:10:42,863
[Will] Last night was...

1459
01:10:45,074 --> 01:10:49,662
The room started to feel
very... wrong to me,

1460
01:10:49,662 --> 01:10:54,416
and, I mean, the crowds
that come around you so quickly.

1461
01:10:54,416 --> 01:10:56,168
I was feeling a little like

1462
01:10:57,169 --> 01:11:00,464
my transness was on display, I guess.

1463
01:11:01,131 --> 01:11:06,095
And suddenly,
that sort of made me feel... not great.

1464
01:11:09,515 --> 01:11:10,557
You know? Um...

1465
01:11:10,557 --> 01:11:13,060
Oh, the saddest part for me is, uh...

1466
01:11:14,186 --> 01:11:15,104
[sniffles]

1467
01:11:18,482 --> 01:11:19,566
I just feel...

1468
01:11:20,442 --> 01:11:21,360
[sobs gently]

1469
01:11:23,237 --> 01:11:24,238
Oh boy.

1470
01:11:24,863 --> 01:11:26,824
- [Will breathes shakily]
- Oh! Okay.

1471
01:11:26,824 --> 01:11:29,201
I feel like I let you down in that moment.

1472
01:11:29,201 --> 01:11:31,078
- Oh, no, no, no.
- You know?

1473
01:11:31,078 --> 01:11:32,079
And... [hesitates]

1474
01:11:33,163 --> 01:11:35,040
I was like, "Oh shit. I got--"

1475
01:11:35,749 --> 01:11:38,210
[sniffles] "We gotta worry
about Harper's safety."

1476
01:11:38,210 --> 01:11:39,753
You know? Like, what... [sniffles]

1477
01:11:40,629 --> 01:11:43,882
That's where I just--
I feel like I-- Yeah.

1478
01:11:44,883 --> 01:11:45,843
[sniffles]

1479
01:11:45,843 --> 01:11:47,553
[solemn music playing]

1480
01:11:55,978 --> 01:11:59,440
[Harper] I was gonna read
some of the tweets we've been receiving

1481
01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:02,568
since we started this trip.
You wanna hear this one?

1482
01:12:03,193 --> 01:12:04,361
"Ah, very important

1483
01:12:04,361 --> 01:12:07,406
you have another gender bender
for the kids to see."

1484
01:12:07,406 --> 01:12:11,243
"It's so trendy and cool,
even Will Ferrell's doing it."

1485
01:12:12,161 --> 01:12:15,289
"It really sucks that Will Ferrell
shows up to his first Pacers game

1486
01:12:15,289 --> 01:12:16,540
with a trans woman."

1487
01:12:16,540 --> 01:12:17,791
"Who's that dude?"

1488
01:12:18,542 --> 01:12:20,377
Oh yeah, yeah. Here's a good one though.

1489
01:12:20,377 --> 01:12:22,629
"Will Ferrell stopped in Iowa City today."

1490
01:12:22,629 --> 01:12:25,382
"He and Ryan Reynolds are making
a road trip documentary

1491
01:12:25,382 --> 01:12:27,176
supporting trans kids and rights."

1492
01:12:27,176 --> 01:12:28,844
[chuckles] Ryan's--

1493
01:12:29,636 --> 01:12:32,556
I didn't realize
Ry... Ryan's a part of everything.

1494
01:12:32,556 --> 01:12:34,558
- Oh, here's one just about you.
- Okay.

1495
01:12:34,558 --> 01:12:36,101
- Wanna hear this one?
- Yes, please.

1496
01:12:36,101 --> 01:12:39,730
"Great,
a satanic Illuminati pedophile in Iowa."

1497
01:12:40,564 --> 01:12:42,483
[chuckles softly] And that's me?

1498
01:12:42,483 --> 01:12:44,568
Yeah. How do you feel about that?

1499
01:12:47,071 --> 01:12:50,866
It just feels ridiculous. I don't--
I have no emotional-- I mean...

1500
01:12:51,367 --> 01:12:55,788
That stuff, you can't underestimate
the damage that all that does.

1501
01:12:57,081 --> 01:12:59,792
When you're trans,
you ingest a lot of that shit,

1502
01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:01,377
and it sits in your head.

1503
01:13:02,044 --> 01:13:03,921
- Those tweets are in my head.
- Yeah.

1504
01:13:05,381 --> 01:13:06,965
[solemn music continues]

1505
01:13:17,267 --> 01:13:20,854
When... when hatred is pointed
at me and trans people,

1506
01:13:21,605 --> 01:13:23,899
they're like, "You're not a woman."

1507
01:13:23,899 --> 01:13:25,526
"You'll never be a woman."

1508
01:13:26,068 --> 01:13:30,280
Okay, I... you know,
I am a trans woman. I'm fine with that.

1509
01:13:30,280 --> 01:13:33,242
- But I am feeling something, you know?
- Yeah.

1510
01:13:33,242 --> 01:13:35,869
And it's not unhealthy.

1511
01:13:35,869 --> 01:13:39,456
It's made me actually healthier
in many respects.

1512
01:13:39,456 --> 01:13:41,291
- Yeah, yeah.
- It saved my life, I think.

1513
01:13:41,291 --> 01:13:43,210
And I'm not joking about that.

1514
01:13:44,795 --> 01:13:48,715
Did you come really close
at any point to... to...

1515
01:13:50,092 --> 01:13:53,637
I know you had dark thoughts,
but suicidal though-- I mean, did you...

1516
01:13:55,097 --> 01:13:57,599
Was it that intense at times?

1517
01:13:58,851 --> 01:14:00,644
- Yes.
- Yeah.

1518
01:14:01,145 --> 01:14:02,729
- Yes, I, uh...
- Yeah.

1519
01:14:02,729 --> 01:14:06,525
[Harper] I'm gonna say...
six years ago, maybe,

1520
01:14:07,109 --> 01:14:08,652
I went to the gun place,

1521
01:14:09,486 --> 01:14:11,488
and... [chuckles] ...the guy,

1522
01:14:12,573 --> 01:14:13,615
he asked me, uh,

1523
01:14:13,615 --> 01:14:17,828
"Is it for, uh, targets,
or is it for, uh, security?"

1524
01:14:18,579 --> 01:14:21,498
And I was like, "Oh," uh,
'cause I know nothing about guns.

1525
01:14:21,498 --> 01:14:24,334
- Me neither. [chuckles]
- Right, and I'm like, "Um..."

1526
01:14:25,043 --> 01:14:26,920
"Uh... well, yeah, maybe both."

1527
01:14:26,920 --> 01:14:29,381
"I'm in a kinda isolated house."
I'm trying to lie.

1528
01:14:30,382 --> 01:14:32,217
So I picked it up,
and I was looking at it,

1529
01:14:32,217 --> 01:14:33,802
and I was super scared.

1530
01:14:34,386 --> 01:14:36,096
- Golly.
- I walked out of there.

1531
01:14:36,096 --> 01:14:38,640
I was just like,
"Okay. I'm gonna come back."

1532
01:14:38,640 --> 01:14:40,017
"I'm gonna think about it."

1533
01:14:40,017 --> 01:14:42,644
Up until the moment,
really, I transitioned,

1534
01:14:42,644 --> 01:14:44,855
I didn't wanna have a gun around me.

1535
01:14:45,397 --> 01:14:48,233
- Because it could be an impulsive thing.
- [Will] Yeah.

1536
01:14:48,233 --> 01:14:52,279
Because there was definitely moments
where I thought, "I wish I had that gun."

1537
01:14:52,863 --> 01:14:56,033
But the moment I transitioned,

1538
01:14:56,033 --> 01:14:57,618
all I wanted to do was live.

1539
01:14:57,618 --> 01:14:58,619
- Oh.
- Just live.

1540
01:14:58,619 --> 01:15:00,537
Live and... and continue on the path...

1541
01:15:00,537 --> 01:15:02,539
Oh my God. I got this free gift.

1542
01:15:02,539 --> 01:15:03,665
...being really who you are.

1543
01:15:03,665 --> 01:15:04,583
- Yes.
- Wow.

1544
01:15:04,583 --> 01:15:06,126
[poignant music playing]

1545
01:15:20,933 --> 01:15:22,351
[poignant music continues]

1546
01:15:38,283 --> 01:15:40,994
[Forte] This is already awesome.

1547
01:15:43,539 --> 01:15:49,461
I feel such a strong
Albuquerque connection with Harper

1548
01:15:49,461 --> 01:15:52,839
because I was here working on <i>MacGruber</i>

1549
01:15:52,839 --> 01:15:56,343
when we all first found out
that you were transitioning.

1550
01:15:57,094 --> 01:16:00,931
And it was here
exactly one year ago today.

1551
01:16:03,475 --> 01:16:04,685
[Harper] I will say

1552
01:16:04,685 --> 01:16:08,355
part of me feels like I should have
made that decision 40 years ago,

1553
01:16:08,939 --> 01:16:11,358
but I wouldn't have met you guys.

1554
01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:15,529
I would not have gotten hired at--
started a comedy world, probably.

1555
01:16:15,529 --> 01:16:17,906
- I would have had a different life, so...
- Yeah.

1556
01:16:17,906 --> 01:16:19,908
Too many good things happened.

1557
01:16:23,287 --> 01:16:26,582
[Forte] Ooh! Are you guys feeling
the same thing I'm feeling? A little--

1558
01:16:26,582 --> 01:16:29,626
- Yeah, it's pretty high.
- Wait. Hold on. Hold on.

1559
01:16:29,626 --> 01:16:31,461
- [distant barking]
- [Forte] What is it?

1560
01:16:31,461 --> 01:16:34,506
- You guys hear those dogs down there?
- Yeah, yeah, I do.

1561
01:16:34,506 --> 01:16:36,758
[distant dogs barking]

1562
01:16:36,758 --> 01:16:37,718
Yeah, do--

1563
01:16:38,468 --> 01:16:39,970
- Quiet!
- [Harper chuckles]

1564
01:16:40,470 --> 01:16:41,847
Shut your dog up!

1565
01:16:42,598 --> 01:16:43,682
[Harper chuckling]

1566
01:16:43,682 --> 01:16:45,851
- Shut your damn dog up!
- [Harper chuckles]

1567
01:16:45,851 --> 01:16:47,561
[dogs continue barking]

1568
01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:50,355
[Will] The neighborhood
is sick and tired of your dog!

1569
01:16:50,355 --> 01:16:51,898
[Forte and Harper snickering]

1570
01:16:51,898 --> 01:16:53,275
[dogs barking]

1571
01:16:53,275 --> 01:16:55,110
Now more dogs are barking!

1572
01:16:55,110 --> 01:16:57,070
[laughter]

1573
01:16:57,070 --> 01:16:59,072
[uplifting music playing]

1574
01:17:01,992 --> 01:17:03,869
- [Harper] Oh my goodness.
- [Will] Wow.

1575
01:17:03,869 --> 01:17:07,205
- [Harper] Make a toast.
- [Forte] It is an honor to be here.

1576
01:17:07,205 --> 01:17:11,418
I have so much respect for you
and the journey that you've gone on,

1577
01:17:11,418 --> 01:17:14,463
and I'm... I could not be more proud of you

1578
01:17:14,463 --> 01:17:18,050
and... and love, uh, love you very much.

1579
01:17:18,050 --> 01:17:19,801
- Thank you so much.
- To you. To both of you.

1580
01:17:19,801 --> 01:17:22,512
And here's to, uh,
a good rest of the journey.

1581
01:17:23,889 --> 01:17:25,432
I'm gonna really pop it.

1582
01:17:25,432 --> 01:17:26,725
Okay. All right.

1583
01:17:26,725 --> 01:17:28,101
[cork creaking]

1584
01:17:35,275 --> 01:17:36,151
[weak pop]

1585
01:17:36,151 --> 01:17:38,320
[all giggling]

1586
01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:41,239
["Diesel Smoke, Dangerous Curves"
by Red Simpson playing]

1587
01:17:42,324 --> 01:17:43,492
[all chuckling]

1588
01:17:46,328 --> 01:17:48,705
<i>♪ I'm a-drivin' this truck
On a mountain road ♪</i>

1589
01:17:48,705 --> 01:17:50,666
<i>♪ I got a hot rod rig
And I'm a-flyin' low ♪</i>

1590
01:17:50,666 --> 01:17:52,959
<i>♪ My eyes are filled with diesel smoke ♪</i>

1591
01:17:52,959 --> 01:17:55,420
<i>♪ Hairpin curves ain't no joke ♪</i>

1592
01:17:55,420 --> 01:17:57,297
<i>♪ Diesel smoke... ♪</i>

1593
01:17:59,716 --> 01:18:00,884
[Harper] Whoa.

1594
01:18:00,884 --> 01:18:03,762
Whoa, Nelly.

1595
01:18:05,013 --> 01:18:07,391
<i>♪ I was out last night
Drinking beer with the guys ♪</i>

1596
01:18:07,391 --> 01:18:09,518
<i>♪ Got an achin' head and bloodshot eyes ♪</i>

1597
01:18:09,518 --> 01:18:11,645
<i>♪ I ended up with a pretty little dame ♪</i>

1598
01:18:11,645 --> 01:18:13,897
<i>♪ I didn't even know her name ♪</i>

1599
01:18:13,897 --> 01:18:15,816
<i>♪ Diesel smoke... ♪</i>

1600
01:18:16,400 --> 01:18:17,776
[Harper] We should call Kristen.

1601
01:18:17,776 --> 01:18:19,361
- We haven't heard...
- Anything.

1602
01:18:19,361 --> 01:18:21,279
...hide nor hair from that lady.

1603
01:18:21,279 --> 01:18:22,322
[outgoing call tone]

1604
01:18:22,322 --> 01:18:24,825
[voice mail] <i>At the tone,
please record your message.</i>

1605
01:18:24,825 --> 01:18:27,160
[Harper] Hey, Kristen,
it's Harper and Will.

1606
01:18:27,160 --> 01:18:30,080
Just checking in to see
how the song's coming,

1607
01:18:30,080 --> 01:18:32,499
if it's coming along.
And if it's not, that's okay.

1608
01:18:32,499 --> 01:18:36,503
And, uh, once again,
to echo what Harper's saying, no pressure.

1609
01:18:36,503 --> 01:18:38,130
- No pressure.
- But I just--

1610
01:18:38,130 --> 01:18:40,632
We would like to know how are you fee--

1611
01:18:40,632 --> 01:18:43,135
Are you happy
with the direction you have so far?

1612
01:18:43,135 --> 01:18:45,303
- Right. Okay. Yeah, thanks.
- [Will] Thank you.

1613
01:18:45,303 --> 01:18:48,181
["Diesel Smoke, Dangerous Curves"
continues playing]

1614
01:18:51,017 --> 01:18:53,145
[Will] Ooh!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Dunkin' Donuts.

1615
01:18:53,145 --> 01:18:54,688
- [Harper] No.
- Why can't we?

1616
01:18:54,688 --> 01:18:56,440
- [Harper] No.
- Oh, just this once?

1617
01:18:56,440 --> 01:18:59,568
[mock whining] We never have
to stop again. Just wanted to stop once.

1618
01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:02,946
- This trip has been horrible.
- [Harper chuckling]

1619
01:19:02,946 --> 01:19:04,573
We haven't stopped once.

1620
01:19:05,073 --> 01:19:06,575
Wanted Dunkin' Donuts.

1621
01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:09,244
- This stupid trip.
- [snickers]

1622
01:19:09,244 --> 01:19:11,538
All we've done is talk to trans people.

1623
01:19:11,538 --> 01:19:12,789
[both chuckling]

1624
01:19:12,789 --> 01:19:15,375
- We've not done one fun thing.
- [chuckling]

1625
01:19:15,375 --> 01:19:17,419
Name one fun thing we've done.

1626
01:19:17,419 --> 01:19:19,921
- What are you talking about?
- Name one fun thing.

1627
01:19:19,921 --> 01:19:24,092
Okay. But... Really?
Maybe you're just hungry.

1628
01:19:24,092 --> 01:19:26,511
[mock crying]
I wanted to go to Dunkin' Donuts.

1629
01:19:26,511 --> 01:19:28,680
That's all I wanted to do.

1630
01:19:28,680 --> 01:19:31,349
I never get to do anything I want.

1631
01:19:31,349 --> 01:19:33,268
[Harper chuckling]

1632
01:19:38,231 --> 01:19:39,775
[music fades out]

1633
01:19:47,949 --> 01:19:49,493
[birds calling]

1634
01:19:49,493 --> 01:19:51,578
[Harper] Could someone
take a picture of us?

1635
01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:53,205
- [woman] Sure.
- Thank you.

1636
01:19:53,205 --> 01:19:54,289
[camera clicks]

1637
01:19:54,289 --> 01:19:57,501
- Is... The Grand Canyon was in the picture?
- Of course it was!

1638
01:19:57,501 --> 01:19:59,753
- [man] You got some canyon.
- Oh, okay.

1639
01:19:59,753 --> 01:20:01,880
- Where you guys from?
- [woman] Syracuse, New York.

1640
01:20:01,880 --> 01:20:03,089
- Oh, so--
- Oh!

1641
01:20:03,089 --> 01:20:04,257
I'm a New Yorker.

1642
01:20:04,257 --> 01:20:07,719
- New Yorker. We're on a road trip as well.
- Yeah.

1643
01:20:08,303 --> 01:20:11,139
- Harper transitioned...
- I transitioned, and we're just sort of...

1644
01:20:11,139 --> 01:20:14,184
We're kinda discussing
what that means for our friendship.

1645
01:20:14,768 --> 01:20:17,938
- Do you mind if I ask you a question?
- [Harper] Yeah, good. I would love it.

1646
01:20:17,938 --> 01:20:22,818
I'm just wondering how early you knew,
how early you wanted to.

1647
01:20:24,027 --> 01:20:25,779
I think growing up in Iowa,

1648
01:20:26,822 --> 01:20:29,908
it was so impossible
to think something like that.

1649
01:20:29,908 --> 01:20:32,702
- Uh-huh.
- [Harper] So I just think I couldn't--

1650
01:20:32,702 --> 01:20:35,372
I thought I was weird.
I knew something was weird about me.

1651
01:20:35,372 --> 01:20:37,040
I definitely knew that and...

1652
01:20:37,040 --> 01:20:41,795
But I also came around to thinking
that... the kind of weird I was was normal.

1653
01:20:42,295 --> 01:20:46,383
So about ten years ago, it just started
to explode in me a little more.

1654
01:20:47,092 --> 01:20:47,968
- And I just--
- Wow.

1655
01:20:47,968 --> 01:20:51,388
I kept fighting it and fighting it
and talking to therapists and...

1656
01:20:51,972 --> 01:20:53,431
- Yeah.
- You know what?

1657
01:20:53,431 --> 01:20:55,934
- I'm a retired therapist.
- [Harper] Oh. Oh, okay.

1658
01:20:55,934 --> 01:20:59,145
I had a patient very early in my career,

1659
01:20:59,145 --> 01:21:02,524
so now we're talking... 30 years ago,

1660
01:21:02,524 --> 01:21:04,109
and he came in and said,

1661
01:21:05,443 --> 01:21:07,571
"I'm happily married. I love my wife."

1662
01:21:07,571 --> 01:21:08,488
[Harper] Yeah, yeah.

1663
01:21:08,488 --> 01:21:10,824
"But I dress in her clothes
whenever I can."

1664
01:21:10,824 --> 01:21:13,535
- [Harper] Yeah.
-"And I don't think I'm--"

1665
01:21:14,578 --> 01:21:17,163
"I don't... I don't...
I don't know what I am."

1666
01:21:17,163 --> 01:21:19,875
- Yeah, yeah. How did you work through it?
- Yeah.

1667
01:21:19,875 --> 01:21:23,378
- I was very closed-minded about it.
- [Harper] Yeah, yeah.

1668
01:21:23,378 --> 01:21:27,173
Sort of afraid
to go into really unknown territory.

1669
01:21:27,173 --> 01:21:29,009
- It was unknown to me.
- [Harper] Yeah.

1670
01:21:29,009 --> 01:21:32,596
Can I tell you, I had a therapist
like that that sort of stopped me.

1671
01:21:32,596 --> 01:21:33,680
Ah, I... [sighs]

1672
01:21:33,680 --> 01:21:35,849
[Harper] And... and... and again, I'm not--

1673
01:21:35,849 --> 01:21:39,102
I stopped myself enough
that I don't blame anyone.

1674
01:21:39,686 --> 01:21:42,105
- Yeah, that's...
- I tried to be open and supportive.

1675
01:21:42,105 --> 01:21:45,233
But I know
that a lot of my subtle messages were...

1676
01:21:45,233 --> 01:21:46,443
[Harper] Of course.

1677
01:21:46,443 --> 01:21:49,613
- But I've got this my whole life.
-"But you love your wife and..."

1678
01:21:49,613 --> 01:21:51,114
[Harper] Yeah, I know. So...

1679
01:21:51,114 --> 01:21:53,533
-"You love your wife, your life."
- [Harper] Yeah.

1680
01:21:53,533 --> 01:21:55,660
-"Why would you do this?"
- [woman] You know?

1681
01:21:55,660 --> 01:21:58,246
- Surgery is a huge...
- [Harper] "Can you manage it?"

1682
01:21:58,246 --> 01:22:03,126
Yeah. I know that I was a blockade
in that man's-- in that person's life.

1683
01:22:03,126 --> 01:22:05,378
[pensive music playing]

1684
01:22:11,468 --> 01:22:13,470
- [Harper] Here's your blue chair.
- Okay.

1685
01:22:16,848 --> 01:22:19,935
[Harper] If you named that beer,
what would the name of the beer be?

1686
01:22:20,852 --> 01:22:22,312
- There's no question.
- Yeah.

1687
01:22:23,271 --> 01:22:24,689
Cornelius Danderhoff.

1688
01:22:25,315 --> 01:22:27,859
- Your beer's called Cornelius Danderhoff?
- Mm-hmm.

1689
01:22:28,777 --> 01:22:30,195
- Keep that name.
- Okay.

1690
01:22:32,364 --> 01:22:35,241
This is Dolores O'Brien.
I'm gonna drink her all up.

1691
01:22:36,785 --> 01:22:38,370
But I wanna show you something.

1692
01:22:38,870 --> 01:22:43,124
I have something very special
for my good friend Cornelius Danderhoff.

1693
01:22:45,168 --> 01:22:47,003
- Oh!
- It's a coat.

1694
01:22:48,421 --> 01:22:49,756
It's a beverage jacket.

1695
01:22:50,256 --> 01:22:52,008
It's a... a beverage--

1696
01:22:52,008 --> 01:22:55,720
Well, I don't think of-- I actually don't
think of Dolores as a beverage.

1697
01:22:55,720 --> 01:22:58,598
But I don't know
how you wanna think of it.

1698
01:22:58,598 --> 01:23:00,850
No, Cornelius is gonna love this.

1699
01:23:00,850 --> 01:23:02,435
Oh, just... huh...

1700
01:23:03,436 --> 01:23:04,479
Check this out.

1701
01:23:05,897 --> 01:23:07,440
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho.

1702
01:23:07,440 --> 01:23:10,026
You look adorable, Dolores.

1703
01:23:10,568 --> 01:23:14,322
This new jacket of yours
reminds me of my own.

1704
01:23:14,322 --> 01:23:15,657
You look adorable.

1705
01:23:16,241 --> 01:23:18,827
- Oh, Cornelius. That's so sophisticated.
- Cornelius.

1706
01:23:19,327 --> 01:23:20,412
Guess what?

1707
01:23:20,412 --> 01:23:22,163
I have a surprise for you.

1708
01:23:23,289 --> 01:23:27,252
- Look how sharp you look, Cornelius.
- [chuckling] Oh, Cornelius. Really.

1709
01:23:27,252 --> 01:23:29,587
- Cornelius, you need to lose a few.
- [laughs]

1710
01:23:29,587 --> 01:23:32,799
- Well, help Cornelius lose a few pounds.
- I... [chuckling]

1711
01:23:32,799 --> 01:23:35,010
- Look how sharp Cornelius looks.
- Look at--

1712
01:23:35,010 --> 01:23:37,595
"Hey, hi. Would you like
to go on a date sometime?"

1713
01:23:37,595 --> 01:23:40,557
-"No." Well, that was a little forward.
-"My word!"

1714
01:23:40,557 --> 01:23:43,143
["The Swag" by Link Wray playing]

1715
01:23:57,532 --> 01:23:59,284
["The Swag" continues playing]

1716
01:24:05,081 --> 01:24:07,042
- Your first time?
- [Harper] Yeah.

1717
01:24:07,042 --> 01:24:09,919
- [Will] Swimming in a... public place.
- In a public place.

1718
01:24:09,919 --> 01:24:11,504
You're taking a chance.

1719
01:24:11,504 --> 01:24:12,505
[Harper] Yeah.

1720
01:24:12,505 --> 01:24:14,924
- I wanna make you feel at home.
- [Harper] Oh.

1721
01:24:15,425 --> 01:24:16,676
- So...
- [Harper snickers]

1722
01:24:18,720 --> 01:24:20,847
[Harper laughs heartily]

1723
01:24:23,016 --> 01:24:24,100
Mark Spitz!

1724
01:24:27,228 --> 01:24:28,438
Double cannonball!

1725
01:24:32,150 --> 01:24:33,068
Is it set?

1726
01:24:33,568 --> 01:24:34,444
[camera winding]

1727
01:24:34,444 --> 01:24:37,155
God, that's freakin' sexy.

1728
01:24:37,155 --> 01:24:39,616
- [Harper chuckling]
- Relaxing with Mark Spitz.

1729
01:24:40,450 --> 01:24:41,951
- [camera shutter clicks]
- Okay.

1730
01:24:43,703 --> 01:24:47,373
It's good. It's sexy.
I hope that comes out.

1731
01:24:47,373 --> 01:24:51,002
So swimming in a... a public pool.

1732
01:24:53,463 --> 01:24:55,340
I mean, I love it. I really do love it.

1733
01:24:55,340 --> 01:24:56,591
- Okay.
- [Harper] I love it.

1734
01:24:56,591 --> 01:24:58,885
I would've liked my suit
to fit better, honestly,

1735
01:24:58,885 --> 01:25:02,138
but I don't think I'm any different
than any woman on the planet

1736
01:25:02,138 --> 01:25:03,848
when it comes to bathing suits.

1737
01:25:03,848 --> 01:25:07,852
I'd be a little more comfortable
in a perfectly fitting suit, I think.

1738
01:25:07,852 --> 01:25:09,145
I think you look great.

1739
01:25:09,646 --> 01:25:13,441
Thank you. I really--
I... I do believe that you mean that. Right?

1740
01:25:14,025 --> 01:25:18,571
The irony that I have done
so many shirtless things

1741
01:25:18,571 --> 01:25:20,740
and things in my underwear or in a Speedo

1742
01:25:20,740 --> 01:25:22,742
is that I'm a fairly modest person.

1743
01:25:22,742 --> 01:25:24,494
No, I know that. I know that.

1744
01:25:24,494 --> 01:25:27,831
When it comes to comedy,
though, which you love...

1745
01:25:27,831 --> 01:25:30,416
- Whatever it takes.
- You will sacrifice yourself.

1746
01:25:30,416 --> 01:25:32,585
That's why I was excited no one was here.

1747
01:25:32,585 --> 01:25:37,841
'Cause I put the Speedo on, I used to be
kind of like comedically out of shape.

1748
01:25:37,841 --> 01:25:39,884
Now I'm like, "Oh boy." Not good.

1749
01:25:40,718 --> 01:25:42,762
[Harper] I mean,
I know you're being honest.

1750
01:25:42,762 --> 01:25:43,972
- Yeah.
- [Harper] Yeah.

1751
01:25:43,972 --> 01:25:46,474
I know you're a little overweight, uh,

1752
01:25:46,474 --> 01:25:48,476
in places
that you don't wanna be right now.

1753
01:25:48,476 --> 01:25:49,394
[Will] Right.

1754
01:25:49,394 --> 01:25:52,939
But when you put on that suit in D.C.,
you are a handsome man.

1755
01:25:53,439 --> 01:25:56,067
To our great looks.

1756
01:25:56,067 --> 01:25:58,444
["Ooh, Las Vegas" by Gram Parsons playing]

1757
01:26:04,075 --> 01:26:09,164
<i>♪ Ooh, Las Vegas ♪</i>

1758
01:26:09,164 --> 01:26:11,875
<i>♪ Ain't no place for a poor boy like me... ♪</i>

1759
01:26:11,875 --> 01:26:14,002
- What do you wanna do in Vegas?
- Not my favorite city.

1760
01:26:14,002 --> 01:26:15,962
- You're not much of a gambler.
- No.

1761
01:26:15,962 --> 01:26:19,424
Why don't you take me
to a very fancy dinner?

1762
01:26:19,424 --> 01:26:22,427
'Cause they've got
some five-star restaurants now in Vegas.

1763
01:26:22,427 --> 01:26:25,221
Oh, okay, even though
you have yet to pay for anything.

1764
01:26:25,221 --> 01:26:26,890
- Yeah.
- I'm not opposed to that.

1765
01:26:26,890 --> 01:26:28,641
- Okay.
- [Will] Let's dress up.

1766
01:26:28,641 --> 01:26:31,060
Like, I'm not gonna
pull a Sherlock on you.

1767
01:26:31,060 --> 01:26:32,145
Okay.

1768
01:26:32,145 --> 01:26:35,732
Maybe this is an opportunity
to have more of a normal experience.

1769
01:26:35,732 --> 01:26:38,943
It would make me feel good
because I feel like I would be

1770
01:26:38,943 --> 01:26:42,322
in another environment
that I haven't really been in.

1771
01:26:42,322 --> 01:26:44,115
Let's have a night on the town.

1772
01:26:44,782 --> 01:26:47,410
<i>♪ Ain't no place for a poor boy like me ♪</i>

1773
01:26:48,536 --> 01:26:50,788
<i>♪ Every time I hit your crystal city ♪</i>

1774
01:26:50,788 --> 01:26:53,708
<i>♪ You know you're gonna make
A wreck outta me ♪</i>

1775
01:26:56,002 --> 01:26:58,546
<i>♪ Well, the queen of spades
Is a friend of mine ♪</i>

1776
01:26:58,546 --> 01:27:00,423
<i>♪ The queen of hearts is a bitch ♪</i>

1777
01:27:00,423 --> 01:27:03,343
<i>♪ Someday when I clean up my mind
I'll find out which is which</i>... ♪

1778
01:27:03,343 --> 01:27:04,844
[Harper] Why, thanks, buddy.

1779
01:27:05,637 --> 01:27:08,932
- [Will] You gonna be okay in there?
- Yes. I'm gonna be in there.

1780
01:27:08,932 --> 01:27:12,185
I'm gonna look around,
and I am crossing my fingers,

1781
01:27:12,185 --> 01:27:14,687
hoping I can find
something fun for tonight.

1782
01:27:14,687 --> 01:27:17,023
- [thunder rumbles]
- [Will] I'll see you later.

1783
01:27:17,523 --> 01:27:19,484
- [Harper] Bye. Goodbye.
- Bye-bye.

1784
01:27:26,741 --> 01:27:28,117
[bell jangling]

1785
01:27:28,117 --> 01:27:29,702
[Will] Hi, how are you?

1786
01:27:29,702 --> 01:27:32,288
- I'm going to dinner with a friend.
- Okay.

1787
01:27:32,288 --> 01:27:33,206
Um...

1788
01:27:33,957 --> 01:27:36,376
But I... I just need a disguise.

1789
01:27:36,376 --> 01:27:38,169
I need... I need a realistic-loo--

1790
01:27:38,169 --> 01:27:42,632
- I don't want people to know it's me.
- So are you trying to change--

1791
01:27:42,632 --> 01:27:43,841
- I'm Will Ferrell.
- Oh.

1792
01:27:43,841 --> 01:27:46,135
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- Very nice to meet you. Yeah.

1793
01:27:46,135 --> 01:27:47,720
So, yeah, I just--

1794
01:27:47,720 --> 01:27:50,807
Tonight, we wanna go to dinner
without a famous person.

1795
01:27:50,807 --> 01:27:52,058
- I see, okay.
- Yeah.

1796
01:27:52,058 --> 01:27:55,019
[man] Probably stick away
from some of the brighter colors

1797
01:27:55,019 --> 01:27:56,938
so it doesn't draw attention to you.

1798
01:27:56,938 --> 01:28:00,191
- Right.
- So do something more natural.

1799
01:28:00,775 --> 01:28:04,696
<i>♪ They call you Lady Luck ♪</i>

1800
01:28:06,281 --> 01:28:10,076
<i>♪ You're on this date with me ♪</i>

1801
01:28:11,286 --> 01:28:12,120
<i>♪ And yet... ♪</i>

1802
01:28:12,120 --> 01:28:16,207
This looks like... not someone who lives
in Vegas, but someone who visits, right?

1803
01:28:18,126 --> 01:28:19,294
[Harper] That's interesting.

1804
01:28:19,294 --> 01:28:21,587
- Dress sizes are crazy, don't you think?
- Yes.

1805
01:28:22,714 --> 01:28:24,382
- [Harper] I'll try that one.
- That is cute.

1806
01:28:24,382 --> 01:28:26,217
- Right? Thank you.
- Yeah, it is.

1807
01:28:26,217 --> 01:28:29,137
<i>♪ ...the best that I can do... ♪</i>

1808
01:28:29,137 --> 01:28:31,723
I like that.
That one looks better that way.

1809
01:28:31,723 --> 01:28:33,933
<i>♪ ...is pray ♪</i>

1810
01:28:44,444 --> 01:28:47,905
<i>♪ Luck be a lady tonight ♪</i>

1811
01:28:50,992 --> 01:28:56,122
<i>♪ Luck if you've ever been
A lady to begin with ♪</i>

1812
01:28:56,956 --> 01:29:00,376
<i>♪ Luck be a lady tonight... ♪</i>

1813
01:29:03,129 --> 01:29:04,213
[Harper] Oh, Will?

1814
01:29:05,506 --> 01:29:06,758
William.

1815
01:29:06,758 --> 01:29:10,219
<i>♪ Luck let a gentleman see... ♪</i>

1816
01:29:10,219 --> 01:29:12,347
[Harper chuckling] Oh my God.

1817
01:29:14,223 --> 01:29:15,767
What is going on?

1818
01:29:16,934 --> 01:29:18,394
Oh my God.

1819
01:29:18,978 --> 01:29:22,273
I'm not Will. I'm David Abernathy.

1820
01:29:22,273 --> 01:29:25,234
Oh, David Abernathy.
Do we have a reservation tonight?

1821
01:29:25,234 --> 01:29:26,444
[Will] We do.

1822
01:29:26,444 --> 01:29:28,071
- Oh my God.
- [Will snickers]

1823
01:29:34,619 --> 01:29:36,954
Oh, thank you, David.

1824
01:29:37,789 --> 01:29:39,415
- You sit here.
- Okay.

1825
01:29:40,041 --> 01:29:40,917
And there.

1826
01:29:42,710 --> 01:29:43,544
Thank you.

1827
01:29:45,755 --> 01:29:46,923
Oh.

1828
01:29:46,923 --> 01:29:48,549
Good evening, ma'am. Good evening, sir.

1829
01:29:48,549 --> 01:29:50,718
- [Will] Hello.
- Welcome to the SW Steakhouse.

1830
01:29:50,718 --> 01:29:52,637
- [both] Thank you.
- What a pleasure to have you.

1831
01:29:52,637 --> 01:29:55,098
- Thank you.
- Thank you. I'm David. This is Harper.

1832
01:29:55,098 --> 01:29:56,808
Hi, David. Hi, Harper. I'm John.

1833
01:29:56,808 --> 01:29:58,434
- Hi.
- [server] Pleasure to meet you both.

1834
01:29:58,434 --> 01:30:00,520
- [Will] I'm David Abernathy.
- You're Dav-- Sorry?

1835
01:30:00,520 --> 01:30:03,398
- David Abernathy.
- David Abernathy. I'm John Bortles.

1836
01:30:03,398 --> 01:30:05,983
I... I managed Bette Midler
for a little while.

1837
01:30:05,983 --> 01:30:08,027
- [John] Oh wow.
- And Air Supply.

1838
01:30:08,027 --> 01:30:10,029
- Glad to have you.
- [Will] Wait.

1839
01:30:10,029 --> 01:30:13,866
- I believe we'd love... two Montagues.
- [Harper] A Montague.

1840
01:30:13,866 --> 01:30:17,370
Excellent choice. I'll get that started.
One of our signature drinks.

1841
01:30:18,371 --> 01:30:19,247
Cheers to, uh...

1842
01:30:19,247 --> 01:30:21,791
- [Harper] Cheers to our little experiment.
- Yeah.

1843
01:30:22,500 --> 01:30:24,627
I don't know if it's working or not.
I can't tell.

1844
01:30:24,627 --> 01:30:26,087
[Will] I can't either, but...

1845
01:30:27,922 --> 01:30:31,551
This whole trip, obviously,
you're taking the heat off me.

1846
01:30:31,551 --> 01:30:32,677
- [Will] Yeah.
- Um...

1847
01:30:33,845 --> 01:30:37,557
And that's just not the life
of a real trans person.

1848
01:30:37,557 --> 01:30:39,892
But when I was in the Goodwill today,

1849
01:30:39,892 --> 01:30:44,981
I just felt way more comfortable,
and that's a bit of a result of this trip.

1850
01:30:44,981 --> 01:30:46,524
- Yeah.
- For sure.

1851
01:30:46,524 --> 01:30:48,317
- Like...
- [John] Another cocktail?

1852
01:30:48,317 --> 01:30:52,321
Yeah, I would love a,
uh... just a glass of... of Cab.

1853
01:30:53,489 --> 01:30:54,365
Thanks, John.

1854
01:30:56,117 --> 01:30:58,995
[Harper] Okay,
it's a complicated subject for me.

1855
01:30:58,995 --> 01:31:01,414
Sometimes, the better my makeup looks,

1856
01:31:01,998 --> 01:31:03,833
the worse I feel about my face.

1857
01:31:03,833 --> 01:31:06,252
Well... But you look...

1858
01:31:08,296 --> 01:31:09,255
You look great.

1859
01:31:09,255 --> 01:31:14,385
But there's something about...
the slow process of getting

1860
01:31:15,553 --> 01:31:16,971
used to who I am...

1861
01:31:16,971 --> 01:31:17,889
[Will] Yeah.

1862
01:31:18,556 --> 01:31:22,143
...that the... "prettier" I get,

1863
01:31:22,852 --> 01:31:24,770
the more I see the flaws.

1864
01:31:24,770 --> 01:31:28,649
I know what you mean. It's like, "Okay,
I'm putting 'my best foot forward...'"

1865
01:31:28,649 --> 01:31:31,736
[Harper] Right.
And I don't feel like I... I can-- Yeah.

1866
01:31:31,736 --> 01:31:33,821
It's making me very self-aware of my...

1867
01:31:33,821 --> 01:31:35,031
[Will] Right.

1868
01:31:35,031 --> 01:31:37,533
...unfortunately, very masculine face.

1869
01:31:37,533 --> 01:31:39,744
So I look in the mirror, and I--

1870
01:31:39,744 --> 01:31:42,955
- It's like this is getting closer.
- [Will] Yeah.

1871
01:31:42,955 --> 01:31:47,084
But now I'm like,
"Wow, I got a... I got more to do."

1872
01:31:47,627 --> 01:31:51,339
But having spent almost two weeks
with you now, I'm just like...

1873
01:31:53,174 --> 01:31:54,175
I'm just sorta like...

1874
01:31:55,676 --> 01:31:56,969
"I'm just with Harper."

1875
01:31:58,179 --> 01:31:59,639
I'm forgetting...

1876
01:32:00,556 --> 01:32:02,058
- [Harper] The dead name?
- The dead name.

1877
01:32:02,642 --> 01:32:04,435
It's just getting fully...

1878
01:32:06,145 --> 01:32:09,440
replaced, and I don't... I don't know.

1879
01:32:09,440 --> 01:32:10,399
I mean,

1880
01:32:12,026 --> 01:32:12,944
thanks.

1881
01:32:12,944 --> 01:32:17,823
Do you feel lucky sitting across the table
from someone who looks like this?

1882
01:32:19,075 --> 01:32:22,495
I feel very fortunate
to be sitting across the table

1883
01:32:22,495 --> 01:32:24,664
from Bette Midler's old manager.

1884
01:32:24,664 --> 01:32:26,123
- [Will] Old manager.
- Yeah.

1885
01:32:26,123 --> 01:32:29,085
- Do you think John-- Oh, here comes John.
- [Harper] Okay, good.

1886
01:32:30,670 --> 01:32:32,421
You think John knows it's me?

1887
01:32:35,800 --> 01:32:38,302
- [John] Nickel & Nickel Cabernet. Enjoy.
- Thanks, John.

1888
01:32:38,803 --> 01:32:39,804
My pleasure.

1889
01:32:40,638 --> 01:32:41,556
[Harper] Mm.

1890
01:32:42,598 --> 01:32:45,476
John is suspicious. So just be honest.

1891
01:32:45,476 --> 01:32:47,979
- [Will] John's onto me.
- Yeah, John-- [chuckling]

1892
01:32:47,979 --> 01:32:50,106
[both chuckling]

1893
01:32:50,106 --> 01:32:52,650
["Wagon Wheel"
by Old Crow Medicine Show playing]

1894
01:33:06,956 --> 01:33:10,960
Imagine someone
who goes on a trip with a friend

1895
01:33:10,960 --> 01:33:12,795
and is up for anything and everything.

1896
01:33:12,795 --> 01:33:13,754
Stop.

1897
01:33:13,754 --> 01:33:16,799
And there's literally one thing
they wanna do.

1898
01:33:17,592 --> 01:33:20,595
- One fun thing. That's it.
- We've done so many good things.

1899
01:33:21,095 --> 01:33:23,764
One fun thing that they dreamed about,

1900
01:33:23,764 --> 01:33:25,558
that <i>they</i> journaled about.

1901
01:33:26,517 --> 01:33:29,186
You never said
you journaled about Dunkin' Donuts.

1902
01:33:29,186 --> 01:33:31,022
I did journal about Dunkin' Donuts.

1903
01:33:31,022 --> 01:33:32,231
"Dear journal..."

1904
01:33:32,231 --> 01:33:34,066
If I could go, today's the day.

1905
01:33:34,066 --> 01:33:36,277
"...I have discovered something called..."

1906
01:33:36,277 --> 01:33:39,655
"Something that's changed my life.
It's a place called Dunkin' Donuts."

1907
01:33:39,655 --> 01:33:42,116
- [chuckling]
-"Each donut is my friend."

1908
01:33:42,116 --> 01:33:44,994
- No. [laughing]
-"I finally found my... my place."

1909
01:33:49,999 --> 01:33:50,958
[Harper sighs]

1910
01:33:53,044 --> 01:33:55,713
- Whew.
- [Will] This feels like a long way to go.

1911
01:33:56,422 --> 01:33:57,965
[Harper breathing heavily]

1912
01:33:57,965 --> 01:34:01,510
- [muttering]
- Are you okay? Want me to take the other--

1913
01:34:01,510 --> 01:34:04,055
- Yeah, could you carry all this?
- [both chuckling]

1914
01:34:04,055 --> 01:34:06,432
- [poignant music playing]
- [Harper] Oof!

1915
01:34:08,184 --> 01:34:09,477
[bird of prey screeching]

1916
01:34:10,061 --> 01:34:10,936
[Harper sniffs]

1917
01:34:19,111 --> 01:34:23,199
So... there's a few passages in my journal

1918
01:34:23,199 --> 01:34:26,243
that I just felt like
just talk to this very place.

1919
01:34:28,871 --> 01:34:30,748
[Harper] 11/27/15.

1920
01:34:32,166 --> 01:34:35,211
"Here we go into another holiday season
of uncertainty."

1921
01:34:36,420 --> 01:34:38,673
"Suicidal thoughts, regrets,

1922
01:34:39,173 --> 01:34:43,636
manic daydreams of a safe life
in small hidden houses away from the world

1923
01:34:43,636 --> 01:34:45,971
where I can create and live in peace."

1924
01:34:47,640 --> 01:34:51,060
"I fantasize about owning
an apartment in Mojave, California."

1925
01:34:51,936 --> 01:34:54,438
"I'm fixated on moving to Mojave."

1926
01:34:55,481 --> 01:34:57,400
"I can't get it out of my mind."

1927
01:35:01,070 --> 01:35:02,363
[music soars]

1928
01:35:06,701 --> 01:35:09,704
[Harper] "In December,
I found a house in Trona, California."

1929
01:35:10,454 --> 01:35:14,083
"It cost ten thousand dollars,
and I couldn't stop obsessing over it."

1930
01:35:15,376 --> 01:35:16,627
"I offered to buy it,

1931
01:35:16,627 --> 01:35:19,588
and now it looks like I will own it."

1932
01:35:21,257 --> 01:35:24,969
"My own space to dress like a woman,
walk around like a woman."

1933
01:35:25,970 --> 01:35:27,304
"Miles from anyone."

1934
01:35:40,484 --> 01:35:42,486
- [dog barking faintly]
- [music fades]

1935
01:36:00,796 --> 01:36:03,007
How... how long have you had it?

1936
01:36:04,633 --> 01:36:09,430
I bought it about six or seven years ago.

1937
01:36:10,139 --> 01:36:11,015
[sighs]

1938
01:36:12,516 --> 01:36:13,934
[sniffles, sighs]

1939
01:36:20,941 --> 01:36:22,318
Oh my God. [sniffles]

1940
01:36:22,860 --> 01:36:24,153
Yeah. Um...

1941
01:36:26,864 --> 01:36:29,200
And I just was looking for, uh...

1942
01:36:31,535 --> 01:36:33,329
some place to go where I could

1943
01:36:34,330 --> 01:36:35,998
get away from people and...

1944
01:36:37,500 --> 01:36:39,502
There's something I liked about this.

1945
01:36:41,003 --> 01:36:44,381
[Will] That it was just so...
so far away from everything else?

1946
01:36:44,381 --> 01:36:47,384
Yeah, it was just hidden
in a downtrodden community, and...

1947
01:36:47,384 --> 01:36:48,302
[Will] Yeah.

1948
01:36:49,553 --> 01:36:50,554
I felt I...

1949
01:36:52,848 --> 01:36:54,016
kinda fit in out here.

1950
01:36:54,016 --> 01:36:54,934
[Will] Mm-hmm.

1951
01:36:56,268 --> 01:36:57,394
Because...

1952
01:37:00,105 --> 01:37:01,273
[sobbing gently]

1953
01:37:02,858 --> 01:37:03,734
[sniffles]

1954
01:37:03,734 --> 01:37:05,110
Yeah. [sniffles]

1955
01:37:05,945 --> 01:37:06,779
I just...

1956
01:37:08,489 --> 01:37:10,407
I just hated myself so much.

1957
01:37:11,450 --> 01:37:12,493
[sobs, sniffles]

1958
01:37:13,410 --> 01:37:15,538
[sobbing]

1959
01:37:17,748 --> 01:37:18,624
[sniffles]

1960
01:37:21,919 --> 01:37:22,878
Fuck. [sniffles]

1961
01:37:23,462 --> 01:37:25,047
I just felt like a monster.

1962
01:37:25,965 --> 01:37:26,799
[sniffles]

1963
01:37:27,341 --> 01:37:29,260
- I fucking hated it. [sobs]
- It's okay.

1964
01:37:29,760 --> 01:37:32,221
[Harper] Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is okay.

1965
01:37:32,221 --> 01:37:33,764
- Everything's okay.
- Yeah.

1966
01:37:34,473 --> 01:37:35,975
Yeah, so... [chuckles]

1967
01:37:36,725 --> 01:37:38,143
...I-- I kind of fancied,

1968
01:37:38,143 --> 01:37:41,981
um, a mid-century modern house out here,
and I would go to town on it.

1969
01:37:43,357 --> 01:37:47,695
And I'll show you inside, and you'll see
how it got vandalized. [sniffles]

1970
01:37:49,488 --> 01:37:50,865
[clattering]

1971
01:37:57,121 --> 01:37:58,998
[clattering]

1972
01:38:26,108 --> 01:38:27,818
I don't want... [chuckles sadly]

1973
01:38:27,818 --> 01:38:30,029
I just don't want anything to do with it.

1974
01:38:31,196 --> 01:38:34,158
[Will] I was just gonna say,
what's... what's the plan now?

1975
01:38:34,700 --> 01:38:36,577
- [Harper] Give it to somebody?
- Uh-huh.

1976
01:38:38,621 --> 01:38:40,289
[Harper sighs] I know it's, um...

1977
01:38:42,124 --> 01:38:43,584
I mean, I was gonna be a woman here.

1978
01:38:43,584 --> 01:38:45,836
That was it. I was gonna--
That was my plan.

1979
01:38:45,836 --> 01:38:48,589
I had no... There wasn't any way
to make it work either,

1980
01:38:48,589 --> 01:38:51,050
because I would've been afraid
of these people, too,

1981
01:38:51,050 --> 01:38:54,803
so I just was gonna close the curtains
and walk around this house,

1982
01:38:54,803 --> 01:38:56,805
and it was a safe space.

1983
01:38:56,805 --> 01:38:59,975
- Were you able to ever, like, dress here...?
- Yeah. I mean, this was--

1984
01:38:59,975 --> 01:39:03,145
- I worked in there in women's clothes.
- Yeah.

1985
01:39:03,145 --> 01:39:05,147
And I brought women's clothes with me,

1986
01:39:05,147 --> 01:39:09,068
and I... sat out here at night
in women's clothes.

1987
01:39:09,568 --> 01:39:11,362
I... I... I loved it. [sniffles]

1988
01:39:12,404 --> 01:39:16,367
But it just is not the path.
It's just not the way to do it.

1989
01:39:16,367 --> 01:39:18,661
It's not the-- You can't hide. It's not--

1990
01:39:18,661 --> 01:39:20,996
It catches up with you,
and it's just stupid.

1991
01:39:20,996 --> 01:39:23,666
And I don't wanna be
afraid of people anymore.

1992
01:39:23,666 --> 01:39:26,335
That's just sad and terrible.

1993
01:39:28,087 --> 01:39:30,255
- Yeah, I get to be in the world.
- Yeah.

1994
01:39:30,255 --> 01:39:31,924
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, right.

1995
01:39:31,924 --> 01:39:33,050
And, also, like...

1996
01:39:36,136 --> 01:39:38,931
I don't have to lie to you anymore.
You know what I mean?

1997
01:39:38,931 --> 01:39:41,558
- [chuckling] Right.
- You're like, "Oh, you got a crazy house."

1998
01:39:41,558 --> 01:39:43,519
Yeah, it's my little thing I'm doing.

1999
01:39:43,519 --> 01:39:45,729
There's always a lie under there,
and I don't like that.

2000
01:39:45,729 --> 01:39:47,898
Yeah, I don't like
lying to my friends at all.

2001
01:39:47,898 --> 01:39:50,609
- And here you are.
- [Will] I know.

2002
01:39:50,609 --> 01:39:54,196
One of my really good friends,
and I just was lying to...

2003
01:39:54,196 --> 01:39:55,322
And I don't-- I don't--

2004
01:39:55,322 --> 01:39:57,741
Again, it's not the worst thing
that I was trying to be safe

2005
01:39:57,741 --> 01:40:00,953
'cause I didn't know how people
were gonna react. I was scared.

2006
01:40:01,578 --> 01:40:04,331
But no, I don't...
I don't want to do that anymore. I can...

2007
01:40:05,666 --> 01:40:09,294
I can-- I have a few secrets
that I'm not gonna let you have.

2008
01:40:09,294 --> 01:40:10,671
[sniffs] Okay?

2009
01:40:10,671 --> 01:40:13,799
Like, I-- There's some record places
that I'll never tell you about.

2010
01:40:14,717 --> 01:40:17,553
- I'll get it outta you.
- No, you won't. That's secret.

2011
01:40:17,553 --> 01:40:18,637
And, uh...

2012
01:40:21,557 --> 01:40:23,767
I stole something
from your house one time.

2013
01:40:24,768 --> 01:40:26,061
I already know what it is.

2014
01:40:26,061 --> 01:40:27,896
Oh. [chuckling]

2015
01:40:27,896 --> 01:40:30,149
You are a good friend. [chuckling]

2016
01:40:30,149 --> 01:40:32,526
["Holocene" by Bon Iver playing]

2017
01:40:34,695 --> 01:40:36,905
[Harper] Uh,
should we go do some fireworks?

2018
01:40:40,784 --> 01:40:44,997
<i>♪ Someway, baby, it's part of me
Apart from me</i>... ♪

2019
01:40:45,831 --> 01:40:48,792
- [Harper] Oh boy! Gimme your lighter.
- [Will] This is exciting.

2020
01:40:48,792 --> 01:40:51,378
- I'm gonna just gonna place this here.
- Okay.

2021
01:40:51,378 --> 01:40:54,256
- <i>♪ You're laying waste to Halloween</i>... ♪
- [Will] Okay.

2022
01:40:56,925 --> 01:40:58,218
- [both] Oh!
- [Harper chuckles]

2023
01:40:58,218 --> 01:40:59,470
[Will] Not toward me!

2024
01:40:59,470 --> 01:41:02,848
- [Harper] Whoa! Oh!
- Ah! [exclaims]

2025
01:41:02,848 --> 01:41:05,017
- [fireworks banging]
- [both gasp]

2026
01:41:06,477 --> 01:41:08,395
- [Will] Whoa-oh-oh-oh!
- [chuckling]

2027
01:41:11,023 --> 01:41:12,691
[Will] Gator Gun! Gator Gun!

2028
01:41:12,691 --> 01:41:14,318
- Gator Gun!
- [Harper] Gator Gun!

2029
01:41:15,194 --> 01:41:18,447
- [Will] Gator Gun! Gator Gun!
- Gator Gun! Yeah! [chuckles]

2030
01:41:18,447 --> 01:41:20,741
- [Will] Take that! Gator Gun!
- [chuckling]

2031
01:41:21,450 --> 01:41:23,285
- [Will] Gator Gun!
- [laughing]

2032
01:41:24,912 --> 01:41:28,040
<i>♪ Saying nothing, that's enough for me ♪</i>

2033
01:41:33,045 --> 01:41:35,506
<i>♪ And at once, I knew ♪</i>

2034
01:41:36,340 --> 01:41:39,968
<i>♪ I was not magnificent... ♪</i>

2035
01:41:39,968 --> 01:41:41,887
[fireworks whizzing, popping]

2036
01:41:47,226 --> 01:41:50,729
<i>♪ But I could see
For miles, miles, miles ♪</i>

2037
01:42:06,829 --> 01:42:08,622
[music fades out]

2038
01:42:10,833 --> 01:42:12,751
Oh-oh. Ah!

2039
01:42:13,460 --> 01:42:15,170
- Uh!
- What? What?

2040
01:42:15,170 --> 01:42:16,255
[mock cries]

2041
01:42:16,255 --> 01:42:18,715
- You-- It's our last day.
- Yeah.

2042
01:42:19,675 --> 01:42:22,177
- I'm not seeing what you're seeing.
- What does that say?

2043
01:42:22,177 --> 01:42:23,762
[Harper] Over there? "Dunkin' Donuts."

2044
01:42:23,762 --> 01:42:27,975
I think this trip was stupid if we didn't...
if we don't get to go to Dunkin' Donuts.

2045
01:42:27,975 --> 01:42:31,436
- [Harper] You gotta be kidding. Jesus.
- I think this whole trip was stupid.

2046
01:42:31,436 --> 01:42:33,313
There, I said it.
You wanted me to be honest.

2047
01:42:34,356 --> 01:42:35,190
Okay.

2048
01:42:36,316 --> 01:42:37,901
Okay, here we go.

2049
01:42:39,194 --> 01:42:40,654
- Guess what?
- Wait.

2050
01:42:40,654 --> 01:42:42,364
- Yes.
- Are you really?

2051
01:42:42,364 --> 01:42:43,282
Yes.

2052
01:42:44,366 --> 01:42:45,492
[Will chuckles gleefully]

2053
01:42:45,492 --> 01:42:47,911
[worker] <i>What can I get started for you?</i>

2054
01:42:47,911 --> 01:42:52,374
What do you like more?
Your classic donut or Munchkins?

2055
01:42:52,374 --> 01:42:54,668
- Do you have apple fritters?
- [worker] <i>I do!</i>

2056
01:42:54,668 --> 01:42:56,461
[chuckles gleefully]

2057
01:42:56,461 --> 01:42:57,629
Order something!

2058
01:42:57,629 --> 01:42:58,922
I need more time.

2059
01:42:58,922 --> 01:43:00,174
- No!
- No!

2060
01:43:00,799 --> 01:43:02,885
Just a... a classic glazed.

2061
01:43:02,885 --> 01:43:05,470
- Well, are you fucking happy? Come on.
- Yeah.

2062
01:43:05,971 --> 01:43:09,308
- I'm gonna pull over so you can just eat.
- Oh my God.

2063
01:43:09,308 --> 01:43:10,225
Mmm!

2064
01:43:10,851 --> 01:43:12,394
- And you know what?
- Yeah.

2065
01:43:12,394 --> 01:43:14,271
They're nice and cold.

2066
01:43:15,272 --> 01:43:17,232
- It's great.
- [chuckling] 3,000 miles.

2067
01:43:17,232 --> 01:43:18,192
Really great.

2068
01:43:20,319 --> 01:43:21,778
Is-- How's the trip now?

2069
01:43:22,613 --> 01:43:25,365
It's... honestly, it's, like,
the best trip I've ever had.

2070
01:43:25,365 --> 01:43:27,034
[both chuckling]

2071
01:43:27,034 --> 01:43:28,869
["The Weight" by The Band playing]

2072
01:43:28,869 --> 01:43:30,579
It's been a really good trip.

2073
01:43:34,583 --> 01:43:37,294
<i>♪ I pulled into Nazareth ♪</i>

2074
01:43:37,294 --> 01:43:40,255
<i>♪ Was feeling 'bout half past dead ♪</i>

2075
01:43:41,256 --> 01:43:43,467
<i>♪ I just need some place ♪</i>

2076
01:43:44,051 --> 01:43:45,719
<i>♪ Where I can lay my</i>... ♪

2077
01:43:45,719 --> 01:43:46,637
[woman] Harper!

2078
01:43:47,930 --> 01:43:49,765
- Oh my goodness!
- So good to see you.

2079
01:43:49,765 --> 01:43:51,225
[Molly] Good to see you!

2080
01:43:52,893 --> 01:43:58,023
Harper and Will, what... what has been
the best part of the trip, would you say?

2081
01:43:59,900 --> 01:44:02,277
Boy, we've had some great--
We've had a lot.

2082
01:44:02,778 --> 01:44:06,114
Was there anything you learned about Will
that you didn't know,

2083
01:44:06,114 --> 01:44:09,034
or, Will, that you learned about Harper
that you didn't know?

2084
01:44:09,785 --> 01:44:11,745
[Will] For me, I had no idea

2085
01:44:11,745 --> 01:44:16,458
the kind of... the despair that Harper felt
for so long, you know? It's like...

2086
01:44:16,458 --> 01:44:19,503
- [Molly] Mm-hmm.
- And she hid it really well. She hid it.

2087
01:44:20,337 --> 01:44:21,171
[Harper] Um...

2088
01:44:23,131 --> 01:44:25,092
What I really learned about Will...

2089
01:44:25,717 --> 01:44:28,720
Like, we've been friends for 27 years,
you know?

2090
01:44:29,596 --> 01:44:30,430
But...

2091
01:44:31,515 --> 01:44:32,349
[sighs]

2092
01:44:33,684 --> 01:44:35,185
Yeah. I mean...

2093
01:44:38,814 --> 01:44:41,900
I mean, he loves me.
You know what I mean? [chuckles]

2094
01:44:41,900 --> 01:44:44,027
He's watched me now break down.

2095
01:44:44,027 --> 01:44:48,198
I've watched that, what'd you call,
bag of cement break down too.

2096
01:44:48,198 --> 01:44:50,325
[Harper and Will chuckling]

2097
01:44:50,826 --> 01:44:52,703
[Harper] And... I don't know, it just...

2098
01:44:54,413 --> 01:44:56,665
He cared so much about this.

2099
01:44:57,874 --> 01:44:59,835
And cared about

2100
01:45:01,169 --> 01:45:03,630
making sure that I wasn't in pain and...

2101
01:45:04,756 --> 01:45:06,258
It just... Yeah.

2102
01:45:06,258 --> 01:45:08,593
I just... It was very sweet for me.

2103
01:45:10,220 --> 01:45:11,305
Yeah.

2104
01:45:11,305 --> 01:45:13,432
- [Molly] That's amazing.
- [Harper] Yeah.

2105
01:45:15,309 --> 01:45:17,019
Will, what color are you gonna go with?

2106
01:45:17,019 --> 01:45:17,936
[Molly] Green.

2107
01:45:17,936 --> 01:45:22,065
[Irish accent] Going with the color
of the homeland, the Emerald Isle.

2108
01:45:22,065 --> 01:45:25,319
- [Harper] So beautiful.
- [Molly] I love that, for St. Paddy's Day.

2109
01:45:26,611 --> 01:45:28,739
["America" playing]

2110
01:45:39,416 --> 01:45:40,751
[outgoing call tone]

2111
01:45:42,544 --> 01:45:46,631
God, what do we say? You don't wanna,
like, upset the artistic process.

2112
01:45:46,631 --> 01:45:49,426
- [voice mail] <i>Call has been forwarded to...</i>
- God!

2113
01:45:50,469 --> 01:45:52,763
<i>At the tone, please record your message.</i>

2114
01:45:53,472 --> 01:45:55,640
Hi, Kristen.

2115
01:45:55,640 --> 01:45:59,102
It's Will and Harper, and we're, uh...

2116
01:45:59,686 --> 01:46:02,481
Gosh, we've almost
officially made it across country.

2117
01:46:02,481 --> 01:46:05,650
We're gonna go down
to the beach here, and, uh...

2118
01:46:06,318 --> 01:46:08,028
- Well, we're just checking in.
- Yeah.

2119
01:46:08,028 --> 01:46:09,780
Hey, anything you wanna send us

2120
01:46:09,780 --> 01:46:13,075
in the next anywhere from two
to eight minutes would be great.

2121
01:46:14,493 --> 01:46:16,661
- Look at that. There it is.
- [Will] Yeah! Yeah!

2122
01:46:16,661 --> 01:46:18,330
- [Harper] The ocean.
- Beautiful.

2123
01:46:21,333 --> 01:46:23,460
- [Harper] It does feel good, right?
- Yeah.

2124
01:46:23,460 --> 01:46:26,630
- [Harper] I mean, it's a long drive.
- Yeah. I know. [chuckles]

2125
01:46:26,630 --> 01:46:27,798
[Harper] You know?

2126
01:46:30,801 --> 01:46:31,635
Oh!

2127
01:46:32,719 --> 01:46:33,970
- Wow.
- [Will] That's great.

2128
01:46:38,767 --> 01:46:41,603
We've dropped these chairs
in some very nice places, haven't we?

2129
01:46:41,603 --> 01:46:43,271
- Yeah.
- The Grand Canyon.

2130
01:46:43,271 --> 01:46:45,148
- [Will] Yep.
- The Mississippi River.

2131
01:46:45,148 --> 01:46:46,358
[Will] Mighty Mississippi.

2132
01:46:46,858 --> 01:46:49,069
[Harper] On a-- In a Walmart parking lot.

2133
01:46:53,448 --> 01:46:55,659
- I will never forget this.
- Yeah.

2134
01:46:55,659 --> 01:46:57,661
We'll never forget this trip.

2135
01:46:59,121 --> 01:47:03,667
Because if it's in a week
or six months from now...

2136
01:47:03,667 --> 01:47:04,584
Yeah.

2137
01:47:06,586 --> 01:47:07,838
...the joy... [chuckles]

2138
01:47:07,838 --> 01:47:08,797
Yeah.

2139
01:47:09,464 --> 01:47:12,342
...the joy I'm gonna feel just seeing you.

2140
01:47:12,342 --> 01:47:17,889
Which I always felt, but it's like,
man, I really got close to my friend Will.

2141
01:47:18,557 --> 01:47:20,058
- [Will] I still...
- Yeah.

2142
01:47:20,058 --> 01:47:23,687
I'm gonna think of something tomorrow
that I forgot to ask you.

2143
01:47:23,687 --> 01:47:26,189
I'm gonna think
of a bunch of stuff I should've said

2144
01:47:26,189 --> 01:47:27,691
that I wanted to tell you.

2145
01:47:28,275 --> 01:47:29,651
- But...
- We have time.

2146
01:47:29,651 --> 01:47:32,028
- [Will] We have time and...
- I mean, yeah.

2147
01:47:37,868 --> 01:47:39,494
I got you a little present.

2148
01:47:41,246 --> 01:47:42,581
- [Harper] You did?
- Yeah.

2149
01:47:43,707 --> 01:47:44,708
Because one of...

2150
01:47:45,500 --> 01:47:48,962
We've obviously had
this back-and-forth on beauty.

2151
01:47:48,962 --> 01:47:49,880
Yeah.

2152
01:47:50,464 --> 01:47:53,508
- And... being okay with--
- Yeah.

2153
01:47:54,551 --> 01:47:55,927
With kind of, you know...

2154
01:47:57,804 --> 01:48:01,183
Whether it's makeup
or finding the right dress, it... it--

2155
01:48:01,183 --> 01:48:05,770
making yourself feel good
as a woman, beautiful.

2156
01:48:06,646 --> 01:48:09,441
So... I thought to myself,

2157
01:48:09,441 --> 01:48:12,277
"I know what I wanna get Harper
at the end of the thing."

2158
01:48:13,987 --> 01:48:15,739
Her own pair of diamond earrings.

2159
01:48:15,739 --> 01:48:18,325
- Not diamond earrings. Really?
- [Will] Yeah.

2160
01:48:19,659 --> 01:48:21,912
[chuckles emotionally, sniffles]

2161
01:48:21,912 --> 01:48:23,371
[tearfully] Oh my God.

2162
01:48:25,332 --> 01:48:26,166
So...

2163
01:48:29,377 --> 01:48:30,212
Just to...

2164
01:48:31,671 --> 01:48:32,672
[Harper sniffles]

2165
01:48:32,672 --> 01:48:35,383
Just as kind of obviously
a memory of the trip,

2166
01:48:35,383 --> 01:48:37,260
but just, like, it's okay to...

2167
01:48:39,095 --> 01:48:42,766
It's okay to feel pretty
and do nice, pretty things for yourself.

2168
01:48:44,100 --> 01:48:45,810
Oh jeez. [chuckles, sniffles]

2169
01:48:51,900 --> 01:48:53,193
[chuckles emotionally]

2170
01:48:53,193 --> 01:48:55,195
- I don't-- Jeez.
- [Will giggles]

2171
01:48:55,779 --> 01:48:58,073
It's just so cool. [chuckling]

2172
01:48:58,073 --> 01:49:00,283
- It's just so sweet.
- [Will chuckles]

2173
01:49:00,283 --> 01:49:02,702
- [both chuckling]
- [Harper] You know?

2174
01:49:02,702 --> 01:49:04,037
This is very special.

2175
01:49:05,038 --> 01:49:07,207
- I'm going in. I'm going in!
- [Will] Whoa!

2176
01:49:07,207 --> 01:49:08,333
[Harper chuckles]

2177
01:49:09,918 --> 01:49:11,586
[giggling]

2178
01:49:11,586 --> 01:49:13,088
Hey, it's pretty good!

2179
01:49:15,590 --> 01:49:16,424
Dolores.

2180
01:49:17,926 --> 01:49:18,843
[Will] Cornelius.

2181
01:49:20,053 --> 01:49:21,096
So what's next?

2182
01:49:22,806 --> 01:49:23,807
[Harper] For me,

2183
01:49:25,183 --> 01:49:27,310
tomorrow, I'm running it back.

2184
01:49:27,310 --> 01:49:30,564
I gotta get back to New York,
so I'm gonna drive back across.

2185
01:49:31,481 --> 01:49:33,191
What are you doing, by the way?

2186
01:49:33,775 --> 01:49:36,361
[Will] I've literally got nothing.
I'm wide open.

2187
01:49:37,070 --> 01:49:40,031
- You wanna go back with me?
- Yeah, let's just run it back.

2188
01:49:40,031 --> 01:49:42,200
- Take a new route.
- New route. Great.

2189
01:49:42,784 --> 01:49:44,244
- I got a lot of ideas.
- Yeah.

2190
01:49:44,244 --> 01:49:47,038
- I got some fun places to stop.
- I can't wait.

2191
01:49:47,622 --> 01:49:48,957
<i>♪ Take a ride ♪</i>

2192
01:49:50,083 --> 01:49:52,919
<i>♪ Let us see now what goes on inside ♪</i>

2193
01:49:53,962 --> 01:49:56,590
<i>♪ Let's reveal what others try to hide ♪</i>

2194
01:49:57,882 --> 01:50:00,468
<i>♪ Baby, go with me ♪</i>

2195
01:50:01,344 --> 01:50:03,638
<i>♪ I love you, baby ♪</i>

2196
01:50:03,638 --> 01:50:05,390
<i>♪ Take my hand ♪</i>

2197
01:50:06,182 --> 01:50:09,185
<i>♪ I'm afraid to travel through this land ♪</i>

2198
01:50:10,145 --> 01:50:12,897
<i>♪ I'm afraid that I won't understand ♪</i>

2199
01:50:13,940 --> 01:50:16,610
<i>♪ Baby, take my hand ♪</i>

2200
01:50:17,527 --> 01:50:19,362
<i>♪ I love you, baby ♪</i>

2201
01:50:19,362 --> 01:50:23,408
<i>- ♪ Stay... ♪
- Hey, it's Kristen. Um, I...</i>

2202
01:50:24,284 --> 01:50:27,078
[chuckles] <i>I think
I finished the song? Um</i>...

2203
01:50:27,704 --> 01:50:30,957
<i>And, oh my gosh, I... I hope you like it.</i>

2204
01:50:32,375 --> 01:50:33,418
<i>Okay, here it is.</i>

2205
01:50:34,711 --> 01:50:36,588
{\an8}[fun, jazzy ukelele music playing]

2206
01:50:39,549 --> 01:50:42,636
{\an8}<i>♪ Harper and Will go west ♪</i>

2207
01:50:43,928 --> 01:50:46,097
{\an8}<i>♪ Just a couple old friends ♪</i>

2208
01:50:46,097 --> 01:50:48,892
{\an8}<i>♪ And a couple brand-new breasts ♪</i>

2209
01:50:48,892 --> 01:50:51,770
{\an8}<i>♪ They're off to see America ♪</i>

2210
01:50:51,770 --> 01:50:54,314
{\an8}<i>♪ Not sure what they'll find ♪</i>

2211
01:50:54,314 --> 01:50:56,941
{\an8}<i>♪ Open to the open road ♪</i>

2212
01:50:56,941 --> 01:50:58,860
{\an8}<i>♪ Only to be reminded ♪</i>

2213
01:50:58,860 --> 01:51:03,114
{\an8}<i>♪ That a friend is a friend is a friend ♪</i>

2214
01:51:03,948 --> 01:51:05,283
{\an8}<i>♪ Till the end ♪</i>

2215
01:51:08,620 --> 01:51:10,580
{\an8}<i>♪ Coast-to-coast ♪</i>

2216
01:51:11,623 --> 01:51:15,877
{\an8}<i>♪ Takes 3,000 miles to get this close ♪</i>

2217
01:51:17,087 --> 01:51:18,963
{\an8}<i>♪ Did Lewis and Clark ♪</i>

2218
01:51:18,963 --> 01:51:23,551
{\an8}<i>♪ Dare to go to these emotional places? ♪</i>

2219
01:51:23,551 --> 01:51:26,137
{\an8}<i>♪ This is a greater unknown ♪</i>

2220
01:51:26,137 --> 01:51:29,599
{\an8}<i>♪ So I think my two are the bravest ♪</i>

2221
01:51:29,599 --> 01:51:32,686
{\an8}<i>♪ Harper and Will go west ♪</i>

2222
01:51:34,020 --> 01:51:36,147
{\an8}<i>♪ Like Thelma and Louise ♪</i>

2223
01:51:36,147 --> 01:51:38,942
{\an8}<i>♪ But with a lot less death ♪</i>

2224
01:51:38,942 --> 01:51:41,736
{\an8}<i>♪ They're off to see America ♪</i>

2225
01:51:41,736 --> 01:51:43,905
{\an8}<i>♪ Just one girl and a guy ♪</i>

2226
01:51:44,531 --> 01:51:46,741
{\an8}<i>♪ Open to the open road ♪</i>

2227
01:51:46,741 --> 01:51:48,868
{\an8}<i>♪ Only to be reminded ♪</i>

2228
01:51:48,868 --> 01:51:53,665
{\an8}<i>♪ That a friend is a friend is a friend ♪</i>

2229
01:51:54,249 --> 01:51:55,417
{\an8}<i>♪ Till the end ♪</i>

2230
01:51:58,378 --> 01:52:00,588
{\an8}<i>♪ They'll find their way ♪</i>

2231
01:52:01,923 --> 01:52:05,635
{\an8}<i>♪ Even when they don't know what to say ♪</i>

2232
01:52:06,386 --> 01:52:10,223
{\an8}<i>♪ Known each other for forever and a day ♪</i>

2233
01:52:10,223 --> 01:52:13,268
{\an8}<i>♪ On a path to find themselves ♪</i>

2234
01:52:14,060 --> 01:52:16,062
{\an8}<i>♪ A magical woman ♪</i>

2235
01:52:16,062 --> 01:52:18,898
{\an8}<i>♪ Riding with her grown-up elf ♪</i>

2236
01:52:18,898 --> 01:52:23,611
{\an8}<i>♪ And, ooh, this is the jazzy part ♪</i>

2237
01:52:23,611 --> 01:52:28,908
{\an8}<i>♪ I assume there's no room in the car ♪</i>

2238
01:52:28,908 --> 01:52:34,247
{\an8}<i>♪ For me, or I'd have been invited ♪</i>

2239
01:52:34,247 --> 01:52:36,833
{\an8}<i>♪ But I'll play my part ♪</i>

2240
01:52:36,833 --> 01:52:39,961
{\an8}<i>♪ This one's from the heart ♪</i>

2241
01:52:39,961 --> 01:52:42,797
{\an8}<i>♪ Harper and Will go west ♪</i>

2242
01:52:44,591 --> 01:52:46,593
{\an8}<i>♪ Not prospecting for gold ♪</i>

2243
01:52:46,593 --> 01:52:49,304
{\an8}<i>♪ This is a richer quest ♪</i>

2244
01:52:49,304 --> 01:52:52,307
{\an8}<i>♪ They're off to see America ♪</i>

2245
01:52:52,307 --> 01:52:54,893
{\an8}<i>♪ Follow their own signs ♪</i>

2246
01:52:54,893 --> 01:52:57,228
{\an8}<i>♪ Open to the open road ♪</i>

2247
01:52:57,228 --> 01:52:59,272
{\an8}<i>♪ Only to be reminded ♪</i>

2248
01:52:59,272 --> 01:53:04,652
{\an8}<i>♪ That a friend is a friend
Is a friend is a friend ♪</i>

2249
01:53:04,652 --> 01:53:09,115
{\an8}<i>♪ A friend is a friend is a friend ♪</i>

2250
01:53:09,115 --> 01:53:10,950
{\an8}<i>♪ Till the end ♪</i>

2251
01:53:14,329 --> 01:53:15,914
{\an8}<i>♪ Till the end ♪</i>

2252
01:53:22,629 --> 01:53:25,590
- [Will] You may wanna get into the lane.
- [Harper] What lane am I in?

2253
01:53:25,590 --> 01:53:28,426
{\an8}- [Will] Yeah, you're in-- Yes.
- Thank you. Thank you very much.

2254
01:53:28,426 --> 01:53:31,054
{\an8}[both laughing]

2255
01:53:58,206 --> 01:54:00,208
{\an8}[cat purring]

2256
01:54:04,712 --> 01:54:05,672
{\an8}[cat meows]



