WEBVTT FILE

1
00:01:54.281 --> 00:01:55.698
Hey!

2
00:02:02.289 --> 00:02:04.207
I'll be right with you.

3
00:02:15.385 --> 00:02:19.305
So, Cameron. Here you go.

4
00:02:19.515 --> 00:02:23.059
Nine schools in 1 0 years.
My, my. Army brat?

5
00:02:23.310 --> 00:02:25.728
-Yeah. My dad is...
-That's enough.

6
00:02:27.189 --> 00:02:30.316
I'm sure you won't find Padua
any different than your old schools.

7
00:02:30.901 --> 00:02:34.070
Same little ass-wipe shit-for-brains
everywhere.

8
00:02:35.823 --> 00:02:41.077
Excuse me? Did you just say...
Am I in the right office?

9
00:02:41.203 --> 00:02:43.913
Not anymore, you're not. I've got
deviants to see and a novel to finish.

10
00:02:43.997 --> 00:02:45.915
Now, scoot. Scoot!

11
00:02:46.416 --> 00:02:47.708
Okay.

12
00:02:48.877 --> 00:02:50.837
Thanks. Thanks a lot.

13
00:02:54.925 --> 00:02:56.425
Patrick Verona.

14
00:02:56.510 --> 00:02:59.095
I see we're making
our visits a weekly ritual.

15
00:02:59.179 --> 00:03:02.765
Only so we can have these moments
together. Should I hit the lights?

16
00:03:02.891 --> 00:03:05.434
Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy.

17
00:03:05.519 --> 00:03:08.020
Says here you exposed yourself
in the cafeteria?

18
00:03:08.730 --> 00:03:11.607
I was joking with the lunch lady.
It was a bratwurst.

19
00:03:11.692 --> 00:03:12.942
Bratwurst?

20
00:03:14.361 --> 00:03:16.237
Aren't we the optimist?

21
00:03:19.283 --> 00:03:21.951
Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay?

22
00:03:22.786 --> 00:03:24.120
Scoot!

23
00:03:37.968 --> 00:03:40.636
Hello! Michael Eckman.
I'm supposed to show you around.

24
00:03:40.762 --> 00:03:42.889
Oh, hi. Thank God. You know...

25
00:03:42.973 --> 00:03:45.808
Normally they send down
one of those audio visual geeks.

26
00:03:45.893 --> 00:03:47.643
No, I do. I know what you mean.

27
00:03:47.728 --> 00:03:49.312
Hey, Michael,
where should I put those slides?

28
00:03:49.396 --> 00:03:53.482
Michael? So... Cameron.

29
00:03:53.942 --> 00:03:57.820
Here's the breakdown. Over there,
we've got your basic beautiful people.

30
00:03:57.946 --> 00:04:01.324
Now listen. Unless they talk
to you first, don't bother.

31
00:04:01.408 --> 00:04:04.410
-Wait. Is that your rule or theirs?
-Watch. Hey, there.

32
00:04:04.494 --> 00:04:06.495
-Eat me.
-You see that?

33
00:04:08.165 --> 00:04:10.499
To the left, we have the coffee kids.

34
00:04:10.626 --> 00:04:13.085
-That was Costa Rican, butthead!
-Very edgy.

35
00:04:13.170 --> 00:04:15.087
Don't make any sudden movements
around them.

36
00:04:15.172 --> 00:04:17.673
These delusionals
are your white Rastas.

37
00:04:17.799 --> 00:04:20.343
They're big Marley fans.
They think they're black.

38
00:04:20.469 --> 00:04:22.345
-Semi-political, but mostly...
-Smoke a lot of weed?

39
00:04:22.471 --> 00:04:25.598
-Yeah. These guys...
-Wait, wait. Let me guess. Cowboys?

40
00:04:25.682 --> 00:04:29.310
Yeah, but the closest they've come
to a cow is McDonald's.

41
00:04:30.520 --> 00:04:32.855
McDonald's.

42
00:04:32.940 --> 00:04:35.858
These are your future Mvys.
We're all Ivy League accepted.

43
00:04:35.984 --> 00:04:37.860
Yuppie greed is back, my friend.

44
00:04:37.945 --> 00:04:40.863
-Hey, guys, how you doin'?
-Close it, Bogey!

45
00:04:42.032 --> 00:04:44.951
-Yesterday, I was their god.
-What happened?

46
00:04:46.203 --> 00:04:48.871
Bogey Lozenstein
started a rumor that I...

47
00:04:48.956 --> 00:04:52.041
That I buy my Izods at an outlet mall.

48
00:04:52.292 --> 00:04:55.044
-So they kicked you out?
-Hostile takeover. But don't worry.

49
00:04:55.212 --> 00:04:58.172
-He'll pay. Now, over here...
-Oh, my God.

50
00:05:06.390 --> 00:05:09.558
-What group is she in?
-The "don't even think about it" group.

51
00:05:09.685 --> 00:05:11.143
That's Bianca Stratford.
She's a sophomore.

52
00:05:11.228 --> 00:05:13.562
I burn, I pine, I perish.

53
00:05:13.814 --> 00:05:17.233
Of course you do.
You know, she's beautiful and deep.

54
00:05:17.317 --> 00:05:18.693
I'm sure.

55
00:05:19.236 --> 00:05:21.904
Yeah, but see, there's a difference
between like and love.

56
00:05:22.030 --> 00:05:25.574
Because I like my Skechers,
but I love my Prada backpack.

57
00:05:25.909 --> 00:05:28.077
But I love my Skechers.

58
00:05:28.203 --> 00:05:30.329
That's because you don't have
a Prada backpack.

59
00:05:33.083 --> 00:05:35.918
Listen, forget her.
Incredibly uptight father.

60
00:05:36.003 --> 00:05:37.086
And it's a widely known fact that

61
00:05:37.170 --> 00:05:39.922
the Stratford sisters
aren't allowed to date.

62
00:05:40.424 --> 00:05:41.590
Yeah.

63
00:05:42.426 --> 00:05:43.676
Whatever.

64
00:05:50.851 --> 00:05:54.520
Okay, then. What did everyone
think of the Sun Also Rises?

65
00:05:55.105 --> 00:05:58.274
I loved it. He's so romantic.

66
00:05:58.400 --> 00:06:00.526
Romantic? Hemingway?

67
00:06:00.610 --> 00:06:03.529
He was an abusive, alcoholic
misogynist who squandered half his life

68
00:06:03.613 --> 00:06:06.115
hanging around Picasso
trying to nail his leftovers.

69
00:06:06.199 --> 00:06:09.785
As opposed to a bitter,
self-righteous hag who has no friends?

70
00:06:12.122 --> 00:06:13.789
Pipe down, Chachi.

71
00:06:15.083 --> 00:06:17.209
I guess in this society,
being male and an asshole

72
00:06:17.294 --> 00:06:19.128
makes you worthy of our time.

73
00:06:20.464 --> 00:06:21.797
What about Sylvia Plath,

74
00:06:21.882 --> 00:06:24.633
or Charlotte Bronte
or Simone de Beauvoir?

75
00:06:25.927 --> 00:06:27.970
What'd I miss?

76
00:06:28.096 --> 00:06:31.307
The oppressive patriarchal values
that dictate our education.

77
00:06:31.391 --> 00:06:32.475
Good.

78
00:06:33.727 --> 00:06:35.394
-Hey, hey!
-Mr. Morgan.

79
00:06:35.479 --> 00:06:37.730
Is there any chance we could get Kat
to take her Midol

80
00:06:37.814 --> 00:06:39.774
before she comes to class?

81
00:06:41.401 --> 00:06:42.818
Someday you're gonna get
bitch-slapped,

82
00:06:42.903 --> 00:06:45.613
and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it.

83
00:06:46.156 --> 00:06:48.991
And, Kat, I want to thank you
for your point of view.

84
00:06:49.076 --> 00:06:51.577
I know how difficult it must be for you
to overcome all those years

85
00:06:51.661 --> 00:06:54.413
of upper-middle class
suburban oppression.

86
00:06:54.498 --> 00:06:55.998
Must be tough.

87
00:06:56.500 --> 00:07:00.169
But the next time you storm the P.T.A.,
crusading for better lunch meat,

88
00:07:00.253 --> 00:07:02.171
or whatever it is
you white girls complain about,

89
00:07:02.297 --> 00:07:05.007
ask them why they can't buy a book
written by a black man!

90
00:07:05.133 --> 00:07:08.761
-That's right, mon!
-Don't even get me started on you two.

91
00:07:11.348 --> 00:07:12.515
Anything else?

92
00:07:12.599 --> 00:07:15.184
Yeah, go to the office.
You're pissing me off.

93
00:07:15.268 --> 00:07:17.394
-What? Mr. Morgan...
-Later!

94
00:07:23.568 --> 00:07:25.861
Undulating with desire,

95
00:07:26.863 --> 00:07:29.698
Adrienne removes her red...

96
00:07:41.086 --> 00:07:42.545
Crimson cape

97
00:07:43.338 --> 00:07:45.923
at the sight of Reginald's stiff and...

98
00:07:51.221 --> 00:07:52.555
Judith!

99
00:07:54.391 --> 00:07:57.184
What's another word for "engorged"?

100
00:07:58.103 --> 00:07:59.603
I'll look it up.

101
00:07:59.729 --> 00:08:00.855
Okay.

102
00:08:02.399 --> 00:08:06.569
-Swollen. Turgid.
-Tumescent?

103
00:08:07.571 --> 00:08:08.863
Perfect.

104
00:08:09.614 --> 00:08:13.409
So, I hear you were terrorizing
Mr. Morgan's class again.

105
00:08:15.537 --> 00:08:18.289
Expressing my opinion
is not a terrorist action.

106
00:08:18.415 --> 00:08:21.375
The way you expressed your opinion
to Bobby Ridgezay?

107
00:08:21.459 --> 00:08:24.503
By the way, his testicle
retrieval operation went quite well,

108
00:08:24.588 --> 00:08:26.338
in case you're interested.

109
00:08:26.423 --> 00:08:29.717
I still maintain
that he kicked himself in the balls.

110
00:08:29.801 --> 00:08:31.635
The point is, Kat...

111
00:08:34.222 --> 00:08:35.306
Cat.

112
00:08:41.271 --> 00:08:43.647
People perceive you as somewhat...

113
00:08:43.773 --> 00:08:44.899
Tempestuous?

114
00:08:44.983 --> 00:08:47.943
"Heinous bitch" is
the term used most often.

115
00:08:50.405 --> 00:08:52.740
You might want to work on that.

116
00:08:54.284 --> 00:08:55.784
Thank you.

117
00:08:56.244 --> 00:08:59.413
As always, thank you
for your excellent guidance.

118
00:08:59.998 --> 00:09:02.625
I'll let you get back
to Reginald's quivering member.

119
00:09:04.628 --> 00:09:07.630
"Quivering member." I like that.

120
00:09:08.840 --> 00:09:10.966
Virgin alert. Your favorite.

121
00:09:18.016 --> 00:09:19.391
Lookin' good, ladies.

122
00:09:19.476 --> 00:09:22.144
Oh, she's out of reach, even for you.

123
00:09:22.312 --> 00:09:25.981
-No one's out of reach for me.
-You wanna put money on that?

124
00:09:26.316 --> 00:09:28.025
Money, I've got.

125
00:09:28.485 --> 00:09:30.444
This I'm gonna do for fun.

126
00:09:33.823 --> 00:09:35.950
-Who's that guy?
-That's Joey Donner.

127
00:09:36.034 --> 00:09:38.619
He's a jerk off, and a model.

128
00:09:38.828 --> 00:09:40.246
-He's a model?
-A model.

129
00:09:40.330 --> 00:09:43.582
Mostly regional stuff, but he's rumored
to have a big tube sock ad coming out.

130
00:09:43.667 --> 00:09:45.334
-Really?
-Really.

131
00:09:50.340 --> 00:09:53.801
Man, look at her. Is she always so...

132
00:09:53.885 --> 00:09:56.262
-Vapid?
-How can you say that? She's totally...

133
00:09:56.346 --> 00:09:58.138
-Conceited.
-What are you talking about?

134
00:09:58.223 --> 00:10:00.015
There's more to her than you think.

135
00:10:00.141 --> 00:10:04.436
Look at the way she smiles,
and look at her eyes, man.

136
00:10:04.521 --> 00:10:08.857
She's totally pure.
You're missing what's there.

137
00:10:09.025 --> 00:10:11.527
No, no, Cameron, no. What's there

138
00:10:11.653 --> 00:10:15.948
is a snotty little princess wearing
a strategically planned sun dress

139
00:10:16.032 --> 00:10:19.451
to make guys like us realize
that we can never touch her

140
00:10:19.536 --> 00:10:22.371
and guys like Joey realize
that they want to.

141
00:10:22.539 --> 00:10:26.083
She, my friend, is what we will spend
the rest of our lives not having.

142
00:10:26.209 --> 00:10:28.168
Put her in your spank bank, move on.

143
00:10:28.253 --> 00:10:31.088
-Move on.
-No, no. You're wrong about her.

144
00:10:31.214 --> 00:10:33.507
I mean, you know,
not about the spanking part,

145
00:10:33.591 --> 00:10:34.967
but the rest, you're wrong.

146
00:10:35.051 --> 00:10:38.595
All right... I'm wrong?
You wanna take a shot, be my guest.

147
00:10:38.722 --> 00:10:40.514
She's actually looking
for a French tutor.

148
00:10:40.598 --> 00:10:42.683
Are you serious? That's perfect!

149
00:10:42.767 --> 00:10:44.768
Do you speak French?

150
00:10:45.020 --> 00:10:47.062
Well, no, but I will.

151
00:10:50.233 --> 00:10:53.861
Hey. Your little Rambo look is out, Kat.

152
00:10:54.195 --> 00:10:57.865
-Didn't you read last month's Cosmo?
-Run along.

153
00:11:00.910 --> 00:11:04.413
I know you can be overwhelmed,
and you can be under whelmed,

154
00:11:04.539 --> 00:11:06.707
but can you everjust be "whelmed"?

155
00:11:06.791 --> 00:11:10.336
-I think you can in Europe.
-Hi, ladies.

156
00:11:10.420 --> 00:11:13.213
Would you szeet young things
like a ride?

157
00:11:18.762 --> 00:11:20.804
Careful on the leather.

158
00:11:24.768 --> 00:11:27.227
That's a charming new development.

159
00:11:27.312 --> 00:11:28.937
It's disgusting.

160
00:11:32.150 --> 00:11:35.152
Remove head from sphincter,
then drive!

161
00:11:40.950 --> 00:11:42.576
-You okay?
-Yeah.

162
00:11:42.660 --> 00:11:45.287
Just a minor encounter with the shrew.

163
00:11:45.455 --> 00:11:48.916
-That's your girlfriend's sister.
-That's Bianca's sister?

164
00:11:49.000 --> 00:11:52.294
The mewling, rampalian wretch herself.

165
00:11:53.129 --> 00:11:55.297
-Stay cool, bro.
-Yeah, see you later.

166
00:11:56.466 --> 00:11:57.758
Look out!

167
00:12:04.432 --> 00:12:07.309
My balls! Oh, boy.

168
00:12:25.328 --> 00:12:26.829
Yeah!

169
00:13:14.335 --> 00:13:17.087
Hello, Katarina.
Make anyone cry today?

170
00:13:17.547 --> 00:13:20.048
Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.

171
00:13:21.843 --> 00:13:24.011
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hello, precious.

172
00:13:24.554 --> 00:13:26.513
-And where have you been?
-Nowhere.

173
00:13:26.598 --> 00:13:29.391
Hey, what's this?
It says Sarah Lawrence.

174
00:13:34.105 --> 00:13:37.566
I got in!

175
00:13:38.735 --> 00:13:39.860
Honey, that's great,

176
00:13:39.944 --> 00:13:41.987
but isn't Sarah Lawrence
on the other side of the country?

177
00:13:42.071 --> 00:13:44.406
Thus the basis of its appeal.

178
00:13:44.532 --> 00:13:46.700
I thought we decided you were
going to stay here and go to school.

179
00:13:46.784 --> 00:13:49.077
"U-Dub," like me. Be a Husky.

180
00:13:51.247 --> 00:13:52.873
No, you decided.

181
00:13:53.583 --> 00:13:56.376
Oh, okay, so what, you just pick up
and leave, is that it?

182
00:13:56.461 --> 00:13:57.920
Let's hope so.

183
00:13:58.421 --> 00:14:00.464
Ask Bianca who drove her home.

184
00:14:00.590 --> 00:14:02.674
Kat, don't change the...
Drove? Who drove you home?

185
00:14:02.759 --> 00:14:05.260
Now, don't get upset, Daddy,
but there's this boy...

186
00:14:05.386 --> 00:14:08.096
-Who's a flaming imbecile.
-And I think he might ask me...

187
00:14:08.223 --> 00:14:10.057
Please. I think I know
what he's going to ask you.

188
00:14:10.141 --> 00:14:12.976
And I think I know the answer. No.
It's always no.

189
00:14:13.102 --> 00:14:14.770
What are the two house rules?

190
00:14:14.854 --> 00:14:17.272
Number one,
no dating till you graduate.

191
00:14:17.357 --> 00:14:20.108
Number two,
no dating till you graduate.

192
00:14:20.443 --> 00:14:23.111
-That's it.
-Daddy, that's so unfair.

193
00:14:23.196 --> 00:14:26.198
All right, you want to know
what's unfair? This is for you, too.

194
00:14:26.282 --> 00:14:29.576
This morning I delivered a set of twins
to a 1 5-year-old girl.

195
00:14:29.661 --> 00:14:31.203
Do you know what she said to me?

196
00:14:31.287 --> 00:14:32.663
I'm a crack whore who should have

197
00:14:32.789 --> 00:14:35.374
made my skeezy boyfriend
wear a condom?

198
00:14:37.627 --> 00:14:39.628
Close, but no.

199
00:14:39.796 --> 00:14:42.965
She said,
"I should have listened to my father."

200
00:14:43.049 --> 00:14:45.592
-She did not.
-Well, that's what she would have said

201
00:14:45.677 --> 00:14:47.719
if she wasn't so doped up.

202
00:14:48.555 --> 00:14:51.056
Can we focus on me
for a second, please?

203
00:14:51.140 --> 00:14:53.267
I am the only girl in school
who's not dating.

204
00:14:53.351 --> 00:14:54.851
Oh, no, you're not.
Your sister doesn't date.

205
00:14:54.978 --> 00:14:56.228
And I don't intend to.

206
00:14:56.312 --> 00:14:57.938
And why is that again?

207
00:14:58.022 --> 00:15:01.024
Have you seen the unwashed
miscreants that go to that school?

208
00:15:01.150 --> 00:15:03.402
Where did you come from?
Planet Loser?

209
00:15:03.486 --> 00:15:06.488
As opposed to
Planet Look At Me, Look At Me.

210
00:15:07.240 --> 00:15:08.949
Okay, here's how we solve this one.

211
00:15:09.033 --> 00:15:12.869
Old rule out. New rule, Bianca can date

212
00:15:15.373 --> 00:15:16.915
when she does.

213
00:15:18.751 --> 00:15:21.086
But she's a mutant!
What if she never dates?

214
00:15:21.170 --> 00:15:23.547
Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that.

215
00:15:23.673 --> 00:15:26.008
And I'll get to sleep at night.

216
00:15:26.175 --> 00:15:27.259
The deep slumber of a father

217
00:15:27.343 --> 00:15:29.845
whose daughters aren't out
being impregnated.

218
00:15:31.848 --> 00:15:33.849
-We'll talk about Sarah Lawrence later.
-Fine.

219
00:15:33.933 --> 00:15:35.851
-Wait! Daddy!
-Gotta go.

220
00:15:37.729 --> 00:15:39.813
Can't you just find
some blind, deaf retard

221
00:15:39.897 --> 00:15:42.065
to take you to the movies
so I can have one date?

222
00:15:42.191 --> 00:15:44.067
I'm sorry. Looks like
you'll just have to miss out

223
00:15:44.193 --> 00:15:47.112
on the witty repartee
of Joey "Eat Me" Donner.

224
00:15:47.947 --> 00:15:51.033
You suck.

225
00:16:03.921 --> 00:16:05.714
Hi. Can we make this quick?

226
00:16:05.798 --> 00:16:08.258
Roxanne Corinne and Andrew Jarrett
are having an incredibly horrendous

227
00:16:08.384 --> 00:16:10.761
public break-up on the quad, again.

228
00:16:11.721 --> 00:16:14.514
Oh, yeah, okay. I thought that we'd

229
00:16:14.599 --> 00:16:17.934
start with pronunciation,
if that's all right with you.

230
00:16:18.061 --> 00:16:21.438
Not the hacking and gagging
and spitting part, please.

231
00:16:21.731 --> 00:16:24.107
Well, there is an alternative.

232
00:16:24.233 --> 00:16:27.194
-There is?
-Yeah, French food.

233
00:16:27.278 --> 00:16:30.155
We could eat some together

234
00:16:31.449 --> 00:16:33.075
Saturday night?

235
00:16:35.745 --> 00:16:37.621
You're asking me out?

236
00:16:38.122 --> 00:16:40.791
That's so cute.
What's your name again?

237
00:16:41.250 --> 00:16:44.044
Cameron. Listen, I know
that your dad doesn't let you date,

238
00:16:44.128 --> 00:16:46.380
but I thought
that if it was for French class...

239
00:16:46.464 --> 00:16:49.424
-Oh, wait a minute. Curtis...
-Cameron.

240
00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:53.470
My dad just came up with a new rule.
I can date when my sister does.

241
00:16:53.638 --> 00:16:56.139
You're kidding.
Let me ask you, do you like sailing?

242
00:16:56.265 --> 00:16:57.849
'Cause I read about this place
that rents boats...

243
00:16:57.934 --> 00:16:59.768
A beaucoup problemo, Calvin.

244
00:16:59.852 --> 00:17:04.523
In case you haven't heard, my sister's
a particularly hideous breed of loser.

245
00:17:04.941 --> 00:17:08.777
Yeah. Yeah, I noticed
she's a little antisocial.

246
00:17:08.861 --> 00:17:11.822
-Why is that?
-Unsolved mystery.

247
00:17:11.948 --> 00:17:14.408
She used to be really popular,
and then it was like

248
00:17:14.492 --> 00:17:16.618
she got sick of it or something.

249
00:17:16.869 --> 00:17:17.953
Theories abound as to why,

250
00:17:18.037 --> 00:17:21.039
but I'm pretty sure she's just
incapable of human interaction.

251
00:17:21.124 --> 00:17:23.041
Plus, she's a bitch.

252
00:17:25.044 --> 00:17:26.920
Well, yeah, but I'm sure,
you know, that there are

253
00:17:27.004 --> 00:17:30.966
lots of guys who wouldn't mind
going out with a difficult woman.

254
00:17:31.217 --> 00:17:35.178
I mean, you know, people jump
out of airplanes and ski off cliffs.

255
00:17:35.304 --> 00:17:38.473
It'd be like "Extreme Dating."

256
00:17:39.851 --> 00:17:42.602
You think you could find
someone that extreme?

257
00:17:42.687 --> 00:17:44.479
Yeah, sure, why not?

258
00:17:44.564 --> 00:17:47.858
-And you'd do that for me?
-Hell, yes!

259
00:17:47.984 --> 00:17:51.194
I mean, you know, I could look into it.

260
00:17:57.076 --> 00:18:00.912
Now, I have gathered a group of guys,
couldn't be more perfect.

261
00:18:00.997 --> 00:18:02.539
Padua's finest.

262
00:18:07.170 --> 00:18:08.837
Hi. How you doin'?

263
00:18:10.173 --> 00:18:13.842
Would any of you be interested
in dating Katarina Stratford?

264
00:18:18.514 --> 00:18:20.682
I've never been that ripped.

265
00:18:21.017 --> 00:18:23.894
Maybe if we were
the last two people alive,

266
00:18:24.020 --> 00:18:25.812
and there were no sheep.

267
00:18:25.897 --> 00:18:27.022
Are there sheep?

268
00:18:34.906 --> 00:18:37.324
Did I or did I not tell you
it was pointless?

269
00:18:37.408 --> 00:18:39.409
No one will go out with her.

270
00:18:43.790 --> 00:18:45.874
Hey, hey, what about him?

271
00:18:46.042 --> 00:18:48.335
Him? No, don't...
Don't look at him, okay?

272
00:18:48.419 --> 00:18:52.547
He's a criminal.
I heard he lit a state trooper on fire.

273
00:18:52.632 --> 00:18:56.551
-He just did a year in San Quentin.
-Well, at least he's horny.

274
00:18:57.386 --> 00:18:59.304
I'm serious, man. He's whacked.

275
00:18:59.388 --> 00:19:03.892
He sold his own liver on the
black market for a new set of speakers.

276
00:19:10.942 --> 00:19:12.651
He's our guy.

277
00:19:30.253 --> 00:19:32.254
Hi. How you doin'?

278
00:19:32.421 --> 00:19:33.463
Listen, I...

279
00:19:36.759 --> 00:19:38.760
Okay. Later, then.

280
00:19:46.102 --> 00:19:48.436
How do we get him to date Kat?

281
00:19:49.522 --> 00:19:50.981
I don't know.

282
00:19:52.024 --> 00:19:54.109
I mean, we could pay him,

283
00:19:55.611 --> 00:19:57.821
but we don't have any money.

284
00:19:58.030 --> 00:20:00.448
Yeah, well, what we need is a backer.

285
00:20:00.616 --> 00:20:04.286
-What's that?
-Someone with money who's stupid.

286
00:20:08.457 --> 00:20:09.958
Oh, yeah.

287
00:20:18.801 --> 00:20:21.303
Is that a peach Fruit Roll-Up?
Because you don't see many...

288
00:20:21.387 --> 00:20:24.222
Oh, okay. Yeah. All right.

289
00:20:25.182 --> 00:20:26.600
-Are you lost?
-No.

290
00:20:26.684 --> 00:20:28.643
Actually, I just came by to chat.

291
00:20:29.812 --> 00:20:32.188
-We don't chat.
-Well, actually, I thought

292
00:20:32.315 --> 00:20:35.400
that I'd run an idea by you,
just to see if you're interested.

293
00:20:35.484 --> 00:20:37.903
-I'm not.
-Well, hear me out.

294
00:20:37.987 --> 00:20:40.989
Now, you want Bianca, right?

295
00:20:41.574 --> 00:20:44.784
But she can't go out with you
because her sister

296
00:20:44.869 --> 00:20:48.705
is this insane head case, and no one
will go out with her, right?

297
00:20:48.831 --> 00:20:50.624
Does this conversation
have a purpose?

298
00:20:50.708 --> 00:20:52.709
What I think you need to do,

299
00:20:52.835 --> 00:20:55.837
is you need to hire a guy
who'll go out with her.

300
00:20:55.922 --> 00:20:58.506
Someone who doesn't scare so easily.

301
00:21:00.384 --> 00:21:02.010
That guy?

302
00:21:03.012 --> 00:21:06.723
-I heard he ate a live duck once.
-Everything but the beak and feet.

303
00:21:06.849 --> 00:21:09.517
Clearly, he's a solid investment.

304
00:21:11.103 --> 00:21:12.687
-What's in it for you?
-Hey.

305
00:21:12.772 --> 00:21:16.733
I'm walking down the hall and
I say hello to you, you say hello to me.

306
00:21:16.817 --> 00:21:19.861
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
You're cool by association.

307
00:21:20.821 --> 00:21:23.323
I'll think about it.

308
00:21:27.036 --> 00:21:28.912
-We're done now.
-Yeah.

309
00:21:33.834 --> 00:21:35.335
What are you doing
getting him involved?

310
00:21:35.419 --> 00:21:36.670
Relax, now. Relax.

311
00:21:36.754 --> 00:21:38.672
We let him pretend
he's calling the shots.

312
00:21:38.756 --> 00:21:42.717
While he's busy setting things up,
you have time with Bianca.

313
00:21:44.553 --> 00:21:46.930
That is a good idea. All right.

314
00:21:49.517 --> 00:21:52.060
I have a dick on my face, don't I?

315
00:21:56.148 --> 00:21:58.024
Now, remember, guys,

316
00:21:58.526 --> 00:22:01.528
grip it and rip it.

317
00:22:15.376 --> 00:22:17.335
Hey. How you doin'?

318
00:22:22.049 --> 00:22:23.967
I had some great duck last night.

319
00:22:26.095 --> 00:22:27.762
Do I know you?

320
00:22:28.597 --> 00:22:30.432
You see that girl?

321
00:22:32.810 --> 00:22:34.894
-Yeah.
-That's Kat Stratford.

322
00:22:35.312 --> 00:22:37.230
I want you to go out with her.

323
00:22:37.690 --> 00:22:39.524
Yeah, sure, Sparky.

324
00:22:41.652 --> 00:22:45.405
Look, I can't take out her sister
until Kat starts dating.

325
00:22:45.489 --> 00:22:48.241
You see, their dad's whacked out.
He's got this rule where the girls...

326
00:22:48.325 --> 00:22:51.661
That's a touching story. It really is.
Not my problem.

327
00:22:52.788 --> 00:22:54.247
Would you be willing
to make it your problem

328
00:22:54.331 --> 00:22:56.791
if I provide generous compensation?

329
00:22:59.420 --> 00:23:01.421
You're gonna pay me
to take out some chick?

330
00:23:04.550 --> 00:23:07.010
-How much?
-Twenty bucks.

331
00:23:15.352 --> 00:23:16.644
Fine, 30.

332
00:23:18.606 --> 00:23:20.482
Well, let's think about this.

333
00:23:20.608 --> 00:23:24.486
We go to the movies, that's 1 5 bucks.

334
00:23:26.781 --> 00:23:29.949
We get popcorn, that's 53.

335
00:23:31.160 --> 00:23:33.328
And she'll want Raisinets, right?

336
00:23:33.496 --> 00:23:37.207
So, we're looking at 75 bucks.

337
00:23:37.458 --> 00:23:41.252
This isn't a negotiation.
Take it or leave it, Trailer Park.

338
00:23:41.796 --> 00:23:44.422
Fifty bucks and we got a deal, Fabio.

339
00:23:48.969 --> 00:23:51.638
Great practice, everybody.

340
00:23:51.722 --> 00:23:54.724
-Good hustle, Stratford.
-Thanks, Mr. Chapin.

341
00:24:03.818 --> 00:24:06.778
Hey there, girlie. How you doin'?

342
00:24:07.238 --> 00:24:09.447
Sweating like a pig, actually.
And yourself?

343
00:24:09.532 --> 00:24:11.950
Now, there's a way to get
a guy's attention, huh?

344
00:24:12.493 --> 00:24:14.160
My mission in life.

345
00:24:14.245 --> 00:24:16.955
But obviously, I struck your fancy,
so, you see, it worked.

346
00:24:17.039 --> 00:24:18.706
The world makes sense again.

347
00:24:20.459 --> 00:24:23.837
-Pick you up on Friday, then.
-Oh, right. Friday.

348
00:24:25.297 --> 00:24:28.466
Well, the night I take you places
you've never been before.

349
00:24:28.551 --> 00:24:30.760
Like where?
The 7-Eleven on Broadway?

350
00:24:30.845 --> 00:24:33.513
Do you even know
my name, screw boy?

351
00:24:33.597 --> 00:24:35.765
I know a lot more than you think.

352
00:24:35.850 --> 00:24:37.809
Doubtful. Very doubtful.

353
00:24:45.109 --> 00:24:46.192
We are screwed.

354
00:24:46.277 --> 00:24:48.236
Hey, I don't want to hear
that defeatist attitude.

355
00:24:48.320 --> 00:24:51.364
-I want to hear you upbeat.
-We're screwed!

356
00:24:51.448 --> 00:24:53.491
-There you go.
-Hey, Coach Chapin!

357
00:24:58.956 --> 00:25:00.498
Run, Bogey!

358
00:25:07.715 --> 00:25:09.841
Have you ever considered a new look?

359
00:25:09.925 --> 00:25:12.260
I mean, seriously. You could
have some definite potential

360
00:25:12.344 --> 00:25:14.429
buried under all this hostility.

361
00:25:14.513 --> 00:25:17.223
I'm not hostile. I'm annoyed.

362
00:25:17.391 --> 00:25:19.392
Why don't you try being nice?

363
00:25:19.476 --> 00:25:21.311
People wouldn't know what to think.

364
00:25:21.395 --> 00:25:23.563
You forget,
I don't care what people think.

365
00:25:23.647 --> 00:25:25.023
Yes, you do.

366
00:25:25.441 --> 00:25:26.900
No, I don't.

367
00:25:28.402 --> 00:25:31.070
You don't always have to be
who they want you to be, you know.

368
00:25:32.406 --> 00:25:35.158
I happen to like being adored,
thank you.

369
00:25:35.993 --> 00:25:37.619
Where'd you get the pearls?

370
00:25:37.703 --> 00:25:39.204
They're Mom's.

371
00:25:39.788 --> 00:25:42.415
And you've been what,
hiding them for three years?

372
00:25:42.499 --> 00:25:44.709
No. Daddy found them
in a drawer last week.

373
00:25:44.793 --> 00:25:46.753
So you're just gonna start
wearing them now?

374
00:25:46.837 --> 00:25:49.797
It's not like she's coming back
to claim them!

375
00:25:51.258 --> 00:25:54.594
Besides, they look good on me.

376
00:25:55.888 --> 00:25:57.680
Trust me. They don't.

377
00:26:03.187 --> 00:26:05.647
Nice ride. Vintage fenders.

378
00:26:05.898 --> 00:26:08.107
Are you following me?

379
00:26:08.192 --> 00:26:11.402
I was in the Laundromat.
I saw your car. I came over to say hi.

380
00:26:11.487 --> 00:26:12.570
Hi.

381
00:26:14.782 --> 00:26:17.700
-Not a big talker, huh?
-Depends on the topic.

382
00:26:17.785 --> 00:26:20.703
My fenders don't really whip me
into a verbal frenzy.

383
00:26:20.788 --> 00:26:24.499
-You're not afraid of me, are you?
-Why would I be afraid of you?

384
00:26:24.583 --> 00:26:27.085
-Well, most people are.
-Well, I'm not.

385
00:26:27.169 --> 00:26:28.211
Well, maybe you're not afraid of me,

386
00:26:28.295 --> 00:26:31.130
but I'm sure
you've thought about me naked.

387
00:26:31.632 --> 00:26:33.508
Am I that transparent?

388
00:26:33.717 --> 00:26:36.469
I want you, I need you.
Oh, baby, oh, baby.

389
00:26:46.105 --> 00:26:48.231
What is it, asshole day?

390
00:26:48.899 --> 00:26:51.109
-Do you mind?
-Not at all.

391
00:27:01.829 --> 00:27:03.413
You bitch!

392
00:27:07.584 --> 00:27:08.668
Whoops.

393
00:27:09.086 --> 00:27:10.503
"Whoops"?

394
00:27:11.588 --> 00:27:14.173
My insurance does not cover PMS!

395
00:27:16.135 --> 00:27:18.970
Well, then tell them I had a seizure.

396
00:27:19.054 --> 00:27:20.138
Is this about Sarah Lawrence?

397
00:27:20.222 --> 00:27:22.390
Are you punishing me because
I want you to stay close to home?

398
00:27:22.474 --> 00:27:25.184
Aren't you punishing me
because Mom left?

399
00:27:25.269 --> 00:27:27.186
You think you could
leave her out of this?

400
00:27:27.271 --> 00:27:29.355
Fine.
Then stop making my decisions for me.

401
00:27:29.440 --> 00:27:31.357
I'm your father. That's my right.

402
00:27:31.442 --> 00:27:33.609
So what I want doesn't matter.

403
00:27:34.069 --> 00:27:35.361
You're 1 8.
You don't know what you want.

404
00:27:35.446 --> 00:27:37.697
And you won't know
what you want till you're 45,

405
00:27:37.781 --> 00:27:40.116
and even if you get it,
you'll be too old to use it.

406
00:27:40.200 --> 00:27:42.035
I want to go to an East Coast school!

407
00:27:42.119 --> 00:27:43.703
I want you to trust me
to make my own choices,

408
00:27:43.787 --> 00:27:45.580
and I want you to stop trying
to control my life

409
00:27:45.664 --> 00:27:48.249
just because you can't control yours!

410
00:27:48.500 --> 00:27:50.460
Yeah? Well, you know what I want?

411
00:27:53.630 --> 00:27:54.881
We'll continue this later.

412
00:27:54.965 --> 00:27:56.341
Can't wait.

413
00:27:58.844 --> 00:28:01.012
Did you just maim Joey's car?

414
00:28:01.096 --> 00:28:03.097
Yeah. Looks like you're gonna
have to take the bus.

415
00:28:03.182 --> 00:28:05.308
Has the fact
that you're completely psycho

416
00:28:05.392 --> 00:28:07.685
managed to escape your attention?

417
00:28:08.896 --> 00:28:10.104
Daddy!

418
00:28:15.361 --> 00:28:19.280
-When I shell out 50, I expect results.
-Yeah, I'm on it.

419
00:28:19.531 --> 00:28:22.909
Watching that bitch violate my car
doesn't count as a date.

420
00:28:22.993 --> 00:28:25.953
Now, if you don't get any,
I don't get any.

421
00:28:26.789 --> 00:28:28.373
So get some.

422
00:28:29.666 --> 00:28:31.542
I just upped my price.

423
00:28:32.086 --> 00:28:34.754
-What?
-Hundred bucks a date.

424
00:28:35.589 --> 00:28:38.674
-In advance.
-Forget it.

425
00:28:38.926 --> 00:28:41.177
Well, forget her sister, then.

426
00:28:45.557 --> 00:28:49.310
You better hope you're as smooth
as you think you are, Verona.

427
00:29:01.031 --> 00:29:02.448
-Go.
-No, you go.

428
00:29:02.533 --> 00:29:04.075
I went before.

429
00:29:12.751 --> 00:29:15.628
We know what you're trying to do
with Kat Stratford.

430
00:29:15.712 --> 00:29:18.798
Is that right?
What do you plan to do about it?

431
00:29:18.882 --> 00:29:21.134
-Help you out.
-Why's that?

432
00:29:22.970 --> 00:29:24.303
The situation is,

433
00:29:24.388 --> 00:29:28.349
my man Cameron here
has a majorjones for Bianca Stratford.

434
00:29:29.643 --> 00:29:31.769
What is it with this chick?
She have beer-flavored nipples?

435
00:29:31.854 --> 00:29:35.440
-Hey!
-I... I think I speak correctly

436
00:29:35.524 --> 00:29:38.151
when I say that Cameron's love is pure,

437
00:29:38.235 --> 00:29:40.069
purer than, say, Joey Donner's.

438
00:29:40.154 --> 00:29:42.405
I'm in this for the cash.
Donner can plow whoever he wants.

439
00:29:42.489 --> 00:29:44.824
Okay, there will be no plowing.

440
00:29:45.492 --> 00:29:47.493
Patrick... Pat...

441
00:29:48.078 --> 00:29:50.204
Let me explain something to you here.

442
00:29:50.289 --> 00:29:54.167
We set this whole thing up
so Cameron can get the girl. Cameron.

443
00:29:54.251 --> 00:29:56.043
Joey's just a pawn.

444
00:29:59.506 --> 00:30:01.340
So, you two are gonna
help me tame the wild beast.

445
00:30:01.425 --> 00:30:02.550
Absolutely.

446
00:30:02.634 --> 00:30:05.636
We'll do some research,
we'll find out what she likes.

447
00:30:05.721 --> 00:30:07.388
We're your guys.

448
00:30:07.473 --> 00:30:11.684
And he means that in
a strictly non-prison movie type of way.

449
00:30:13.562 --> 00:30:14.770
Let's start here.

450
00:30:14.855 --> 00:30:18.524
Now, Friday night,
Bogey Lozenstein is having a party.

451
00:30:18.609 --> 00:30:20.735
It's the perfect opportunity.

452
00:30:20.819 --> 00:30:24.489
-Perfect opportunity for what?
-For you to take out Kat.

453
00:30:26.533 --> 00:30:28.201
I'll think about it.

454
00:30:29.536 --> 00:30:32.205
And for a little payback.

455
00:30:32.623 --> 00:30:34.415
This is gonna be some party.

456
00:30:44.343 --> 00:30:45.885
Let's do this.

457
00:31:06.740 --> 00:31:09.367
Now, this is really important, okay?

458
00:31:09.701 --> 00:31:11.994
Which one do you like better?

459
00:31:16.416 --> 00:31:19.752
I think I like the white shirt better.

460
00:31:19.836 --> 00:31:22.338
-Yeah, it's... It's more...
-Pensive?

461
00:31:23.715 --> 00:31:26.217
Damn. I was going for thoughtful.

462
00:31:26.426 --> 00:31:27.927
So, are you going to
Bogey Lozenbrau's thing

463
00:31:28.011 --> 00:31:29.470
on Friday night?

464
00:31:29.555 --> 00:31:31.222
Yeah, I might.

465
00:31:31.306 --> 00:31:35.393
Good, 'cause you know, I'm not
gonna bother if you won't be there.

466
00:31:38.605 --> 00:31:39.981
See you there.

467
00:31:40.065 --> 00:31:41.774
-Okay.
-All right.

468
00:31:58.375 --> 00:32:01.460
So, have you heard
about Bogey Lowenstein's party?

469
00:32:01.545 --> 00:32:05.506
Yes, and I really, really,
really want to go.

470
00:32:05.632 --> 00:32:09.218
But you know I can't.
Not unless my sister does.

471
00:32:09.303 --> 00:32:11.721
Yeah, I know.
I'm working on that, but so far,

472
00:32:11.805 --> 00:32:14.348
you know, she's not going for my guy.

473
00:32:14.641 --> 00:32:17.893
-She's not a...
-K.D. Lang fan? No.

474
00:32:18.020 --> 00:32:20.521
I found a picture of Jared Leto
in her drawer once,

475
00:32:20.606 --> 00:32:23.858
so I'm pretty sure she's not
harboring same-sex tendencies.

476
00:32:23.942 --> 00:32:27.945
Okay, so that's the kind of guys
she likes... Like, pretty guys.

477
00:32:28.030 --> 00:32:29.655
I don't know. All I've ever heard her say

478
00:32:29.740 --> 00:32:32.950
is that she'd die
before dating a guy that smokes.

479
00:32:33.160 --> 00:32:35.202
Okay, all right, no smoking. What else?

480
00:32:35.287 --> 00:32:37.204
You're asking me
to investigate the inner workings

481
00:32:37.289 --> 00:32:39.165
of my sister's twisted mind?

482
00:32:39.249 --> 00:32:41.208
I don't think so.

483
00:32:41.918 --> 00:32:43.002
Well, nothing else has worked.

484
00:32:43.086 --> 00:32:45.838
We need to go
behind enemy lines here.

485
00:32:50.636 --> 00:32:52.219
Okay, here we go.

486
00:32:53.597 --> 00:32:55.640
Class schedule, reading list,

487
00:32:55.724 --> 00:32:59.268
date book, concert tickets,
concert tickets.

488
00:33:04.858 --> 00:33:07.068
Black panties!

489
00:33:07.152 --> 00:33:09.111
What does that tell us?

490
00:33:09.404 --> 00:33:11.697
She wants to have sex someday,
that's what.

491
00:33:11.782 --> 00:33:14.116
You... She could just like the color.

492
00:33:14.201 --> 00:33:17.244
You don't buy black lingerie
unless you want someone to see it.

493
00:33:19.665 --> 00:33:23.668
So... Can I see your room?

494
00:33:25.170 --> 00:33:26.253
No.

495
00:33:29.841 --> 00:33:32.218
A girl's room is very personal.

496
00:33:33.428 --> 00:33:34.762
Oh, okay.

497
00:33:46.358 --> 00:33:48.734
-Nice bike.
-Yeah, you think so?

498
00:34:03.625 --> 00:34:06.043
Wow. Is this what a bar looks like?

499
00:34:07.754 --> 00:34:10.756
Don't touch anything.
You may get hepatitis.

500
00:34:22.602 --> 00:34:23.686
So, what have you got for me?

501
00:34:23.770 --> 00:34:27.356
A little insight
into a very complicated girl.

502
00:34:28.191 --> 00:34:31.026
Excuse me.
Just one question before we start.

503
00:34:31.153 --> 00:34:34.113
Should you be drinking alcohol
when you don't have a liver?

504
00:34:34.197 --> 00:34:36.198
-What?
-Nothing. Nothing.

505
00:34:37.951 --> 00:34:41.954
All right, first thing. Kat hates smokers.

506
00:34:45.125 --> 00:34:48.627
So, you're telling me I'm a non-smoker.

507
00:34:48.712 --> 00:34:53.090
-Yes. Well, just for now.
-And here's another problem.

508
00:34:53.175 --> 00:34:56.844
Bianca said that Kat likes pretty guys.

509
00:35:04.436 --> 00:35:06.479
Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?

510
00:35:06.563 --> 00:35:07.813
He's very pretty!

511
00:35:07.898 --> 00:35:11.650
-This is a gorgeous guy.
-I just wasn't sure. I didn't know.

512
00:35:14.070 --> 00:35:16.781
All right. Yeah, okay. Here's this.

513
00:35:18.909 --> 00:35:20.159
"Likes.

514
00:35:20.535 --> 00:35:24.622
"Thai food, feminist prose
and angry girl music

515
00:35:24.706 --> 00:35:27.041
"of the indie rock persuasion."

516
00:35:27.125 --> 00:35:29.835
Here's a list of CDs
she has in her room.

517
00:35:32.506 --> 00:35:34.507
So, I'm supposed to buy her
some noodles and a book

518
00:35:34.591 --> 00:35:37.384
and sit around listening to chicks
who can't play their instruments, right?

519
00:35:37.469 --> 00:35:39.887
Have you ever been to Club Skunk?

520
00:35:40.013 --> 00:35:42.681
Her favorite band's
playing there tomorrow night.

521
00:35:42.766 --> 00:35:45.017
I can't be seen at Club Skunk, all right?

522
00:35:45.101 --> 00:35:46.852
But she'll be there. She's got tickets.

523
00:35:46.937 --> 00:35:49.271
Assail your ears for one night.

524
00:35:52.275 --> 00:35:54.944
She has a pair of black underwear.

525
00:35:55.403 --> 00:35:57.196
If that helps.

526
00:35:57.739 --> 00:35:59.532
Couldn't hurt, right?

527
00:37:16.902 --> 00:37:19.278
Verona! What are you doing here?

528
00:37:20.280 --> 00:37:21.697
I need agua!

529
00:37:27.913 --> 00:37:29.496
Two waters.

530
00:37:37.255 --> 00:37:40.132
If you're planning on asking me out,
you might as well just get it over with.

531
00:37:40.216 --> 00:37:43.636
Do you mind?
You're kind of ruining this for me.

532
00:37:43.887 --> 00:37:46.096
You're not surrounded by
your usual cloud of smoke.

533
00:37:46.181 --> 00:37:49.141
I know. I quit.
Apparently they're bad for you.

534
00:37:49.225 --> 00:37:50.601
You think?

535
00:37:52.437 --> 00:37:55.648
You know, these guys
are no Bikini Kill or the Raincoats.

536
00:37:55.732 --> 00:37:57.733
But they're not bad.

537
00:38:01.571 --> 00:38:04.740
-You know who the Raincoats are?
-Why, don't you?

538
00:38:07.410 --> 00:38:10.579
I was watching you out there before.
I've never seen you look so sexy.

539
00:38:20.340 --> 00:38:24.385
-Come to Bogey's party with me.
-You never give up, do you?

540
00:38:26.596 --> 00:38:27.805
Was that a yes?

541
00:38:27.889 --> 00:38:31.183
-No.
-Well, then, was that a no?

542
00:38:31.267 --> 00:38:34.353
-No.
-I'll see you at 9:30 then!

543
00:38:45.448 --> 00:38:47.616
Should have used the window.

544
00:38:48.368 --> 00:38:50.035
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hi.

545
00:38:51.663 --> 00:38:53.330
Where are we going?

546
00:38:53.415 --> 00:38:56.875
Well, if you must know,
a small study group of friends.

547
00:38:57.043 --> 00:38:59.211
Otherwise known as an orgy?

548
00:38:59.504 --> 00:39:01.547
Mr. Stratford, it's just a party.

549
00:39:01.631 --> 00:39:03.674
And hell is just a sauna.

550
00:39:04.718 --> 00:39:07.052
Do you know anything about a party?

551
00:39:07.220 --> 00:39:10.973
-People expect me to be there.
-Kat's not going, you're not going.

552
00:39:11.057 --> 00:39:13.392
Why can't you be normal?

553
00:39:13.476 --> 00:39:16.228
-Define "normal."
-Bogey Lozenstein's party is normal.

554
00:39:16.312 --> 00:39:18.897
-What's a Bogey Lozenstein?
-Bogey's party is just a lame excuse

555
00:39:18.982 --> 00:39:20.691
for all the idiots at our school
to drink beer

556
00:39:20.775 --> 00:39:22.151
and rub up against each other

557
00:39:22.235 --> 00:39:24.361
in hopes of distracting themselves
from the pathetic emptiness

558
00:39:24.446 --> 00:39:25.529
of their meaningless...

559
00:39:25.613 --> 00:39:28.407
-Meaningless, consumer-driven lives.
-Meaningless, consumer-driven lives.

560
00:39:29.701 --> 00:39:31.118
Can you, forjust one night,

561
00:39:31.202 --> 00:39:34.663
forget that you're completely wretched
and be my sister?

562
00:39:34.914 --> 00:39:39.126
Please?

563
00:39:41.838 --> 00:39:44.882
Come on, Kat. Please do this for me.

564
00:39:47.260 --> 00:39:49.136
Fine. I'll make an appearance.

565
00:39:55.060 --> 00:39:57.978
-It's starting.
-It's just a party, Daddy.

566
00:40:01.024 --> 00:40:03.233
I want you to wear the belly.

567
00:40:03.568 --> 00:40:04.943
Daddy, no.

568
00:40:05.570 --> 00:40:07.071
Not all night.

569
00:40:07.155 --> 00:40:10.032
Just around the living room for a minute
so you can understand

570
00:40:10.116 --> 00:40:12.743
the full weight of your decisions.

571
00:40:14.788 --> 00:40:16.955
-I am perfectly aware...
-Listen to me.

572
00:40:17.040 --> 00:40:19.374
Every time you even think
about kissing a boy,

573
00:40:19.459 --> 00:40:22.169
I want you to picture wearing this
under your halter top.

574
00:40:22.253 --> 00:40:24.338
You are so completely unbalanced.

575
00:40:24.422 --> 00:40:27.299
-We're going now.
-All right, wait a minute.

576
00:40:27.634 --> 00:40:29.551
No drinking, no drugs, no kissing,

577
00:40:29.636 --> 00:40:33.847
no tattoos, no piercings,
no ritual animal slaughters of any kind.

578
00:40:34.182 --> 00:40:36.141
Oh, God, I'm giving them ideas.

579
00:40:36.643 --> 00:40:37.851
Daddy!

580
00:40:38.937 --> 00:40:41.480
-What are you doing here?
-9:30, right?

581
00:40:41.648 --> 00:40:44.983
-Oh, I'm early.
-Whatever. I'm driving.

582
00:40:46.194 --> 00:40:48.153
Who knocked up your sister?

583
00:40:51.324 --> 00:40:53.700
So then, Bianca says that I was right,

584
00:40:53.785 --> 00:40:56.453
that she didn't wear the Kenneth Coles
with that dress

585
00:40:56.538 --> 00:41:00.165
because she thought that it was
mixing genres, right?

586
00:41:00.333 --> 00:41:04.128
And the fact that I noticed,
and this is a direct quote, listen,

587
00:41:04.212 --> 00:41:06.505
"Really meant something."

588
00:41:06.589 --> 00:41:08.841
You told me that part already.

589
00:41:09.300 --> 00:41:10.801
I've been thinking about her
all the time.

590
00:41:10.885 --> 00:41:15.430
Stop being so self-involved
for one minute. How do I look?

591
00:41:16.307 --> 00:41:18.934
You look like my Great Uncle Milton.

592
00:41:19.185 --> 00:41:21.395
-You think I should lose the tie?
-Yeah.

593
00:41:21.479 --> 00:41:24.064
Maybe you're right. I'm just so nervous.

594
00:41:24.149 --> 00:41:27.025
And I'm also very excited.
I'm nervous, I'm excited.

595
00:41:27.193 --> 00:41:28.986
It's all very mixed up.
I don't know what to do!

596
00:41:29.070 --> 00:41:31.780
All right, just calm down, all right?

597
00:41:32.198 --> 00:41:35.117
The last party I went to
was at Chuck E. Cheese.

598
00:41:35.743 --> 00:41:39.079
You want to talk about some fun.
That's a good time.

599
00:42:02.896 --> 00:42:05.731
Now, remember, guys.
Don't touch anything.

600
00:42:08.776 --> 00:42:10.736
What did I tell you?

601
00:42:12.906 --> 00:42:15.115
Must be Nigel with the Brie.

602
00:42:41.768 --> 00:42:44.895
You know, I'm...
I'm thinking of getting a Tercel.

603
00:42:46.064 --> 00:42:47.981
Yeah, that's a Toyota.

604
00:42:49.776 --> 00:42:53.278
It has dual side air bags
and a spacious back seat.

605
00:43:00.078 --> 00:43:02.371
-Kiss me!
-Kiss him.

606
00:43:02.455 --> 00:43:03.914
-Okay.
-Good.

607
00:43:08.127 --> 00:43:09.211
Hey, thanks, man!

608
00:43:13.174 --> 00:43:14.466
Sweet.

609
00:43:15.510 --> 00:43:17.886
Looking fresh tonight, pussycat.

610
00:43:18.471 --> 00:43:21.682
Wait. Was that...
Did your hairline just recede?

611
00:43:22.767 --> 00:43:25.102
-Hey, where are you goin'?
-Away.

612
00:43:25.728 --> 00:43:27.980
-Your sister here?
-Stay away from my sister.

613
00:43:28.064 --> 00:43:30.691
Oh, I'll stay away from your sister.

614
00:43:30.817 --> 00:43:33.151
But I can't guarantee
she'll stay away from me.

615
00:43:33.653 --> 00:43:37.489
-Fight!
-Fight!

616
00:43:45.164 --> 00:43:47.040
You guys, please! Take it outside!

617
00:43:53.089 --> 00:43:54.548
Thank you!

618
00:43:56.968 --> 00:43:59.678
Hey, Kat. Look who found me.

619
00:44:01.180 --> 00:44:04.391
-Bianca, wait.
-Please do not address me in public.

620
00:44:04.475 --> 00:44:05.684
No, there's something I need to tell you.

621
00:44:05.768 --> 00:44:10.105
I am busy enjoying my adolescence,
so scamper off and do the same.

622
00:44:10.189 --> 00:44:11.356
Bu-bye.

623
00:44:14.902 --> 00:44:16.153
Want one?

624
00:44:17.071 --> 00:44:19.489
-What is this?
-Right on, sister!

625
00:44:20.825 --> 00:44:22.868
I've been looking
all over the place for you.

626
00:44:22.952 --> 00:44:25.662
I'm getting trashed, man. Isn't that
what you're supposed to do at a party?

627
00:44:25.747 --> 00:44:28.040
I don't know.
I say do what you want to do.

628
00:44:28.124 --> 00:44:30.125
Funny. You're the only one.

629
00:44:30.501 --> 00:44:31.710
Later.

630
00:44:44.432 --> 00:44:46.975
Lord of the dance! Hi, Heather.

631
00:44:47.060 --> 00:44:49.895
-Bite me.
-Should've kept the tie.

632
00:44:50.063 --> 00:44:52.939
Hey. Hey, have you seen her
around anywhere?

633
00:44:53.149 --> 00:44:55.192
-Relax.
-Relax? I'm fine.

634
00:44:56.361 --> 00:44:57.861
Follow the love.

635
00:45:00.948 --> 00:45:02.324
Hi, Bianca.

636
00:45:03.284 --> 00:45:04.951
Oh, hi, Cameron.

637
00:45:07.330 --> 00:45:09.289
You know Chastity?

638
00:45:10.333 --> 00:45:13.585
Yeah. I think
we have art together, right?

639
00:45:13.669 --> 00:45:14.836
Neat.

640
00:45:16.756 --> 00:45:18.757
So, you...

641
00:45:19.425 --> 00:45:21.385
You really look amazing.

642
00:45:22.762 --> 00:45:25.597
-Thanks.
-And we all know I look amazing.

643
00:45:27.141 --> 00:45:28.225
Yeah.

644
00:45:28.309 --> 00:45:32.145
Bianca, let's go. We're all
congregating around Mr. Cuervo.

645
00:45:32.855 --> 00:45:34.898
I'll see you around, okay?

646
00:45:47.787 --> 00:45:49.704
So, I've got
the Sears catalog thing going,

647
00:45:49.789 --> 00:45:53.041
and the tube sock gig,
that is gonna be huge.

648
00:45:55.962 --> 00:45:58.296
And I'm up for
a hemorrhoid cream ad next week.

649
00:45:58.381 --> 00:46:00.882
I know it sounds kind of bogus, but...

650
00:46:00.967 --> 00:46:03.009
I get to do some acting.

651
00:46:11.561 --> 00:46:13.603
You see what I did there?

652
00:46:14.814 --> 00:46:18.024
That was underwear. I'll show you
the bathing suit one again.

653
00:46:20.987 --> 00:46:22.904
You see the difference?

654
00:46:24.574 --> 00:46:26.491
All right, I'll show you guys.

655
00:46:57.356 --> 00:47:00.025
Is it me, or does this party
all of a sudden suck?

656
00:47:06.824 --> 00:47:08.950
Really, really,

657
00:47:09.076 --> 00:47:10.452
thank you!

658
00:47:11.370 --> 00:47:13.914
Hey. Hey, Kat, why don't you
let me have this one, huh?

659
00:47:13.998 --> 00:47:15.790
No! This one's mine.

660
00:47:16.918 --> 00:47:19.878
My man! How did you get her to do it?

661
00:47:19.962 --> 00:47:21.671
-Do what?
-Act like a human.

662
00:47:24.133 --> 00:47:25.717
Yeah! All right!

663
00:47:26.511 --> 00:47:27.594
Go!

664
00:47:32.308 --> 00:47:33.725
See this?

665
00:48:05.967 --> 00:48:08.009
-Are you okay?
-I'm fine.

666
00:48:10.930 --> 00:48:12.931
You're not fine. Come on.

667
00:48:14.684 --> 00:48:15.934
I just need to lie down.

668
00:48:16.018 --> 00:48:18.311
You lie down and you'll go to sleep.

669
00:48:18.396 --> 00:48:21.064
-Sleep is good.
-Not if you have a concussion.

670
00:48:21.274 --> 00:48:23.233
Come on. Here, sit down.

671
00:48:24.569 --> 00:48:27.112
-Sit.
-Hey, hey, we need to talk.

672
00:48:27.196 --> 00:48:30.782
-I'm a little busy right now.
-Can you give me a second?

673
00:48:35.037 --> 00:48:37.247
-What?
-It's off, okay? The whole thing's off.

674
00:48:37.331 --> 00:48:39.416
What are you talking about?

675
00:48:40.126 --> 00:48:43.169
She never wanted me.
She wanted Joey the whole time.

676
00:48:43.254 --> 00:48:45.422
Cameron, do you like the girl?

677
00:48:45.881 --> 00:48:48.800
-Yeah.
-And is she worth all this trouble?

678
00:48:49.343 --> 00:48:50.802
I thought she was, but, you know, I...

679
00:48:50.886 --> 00:48:52.804
Well, she is or she isn't.

680
00:48:52.888 --> 00:48:55.473
See, first of all,
Joey is not half the man you are.

681
00:48:55.558 --> 00:48:57.475
Secondly, don't let anyone
ever make you feel

682
00:48:57.560 --> 00:49:00.186
like you don't deserve what you want.

683
00:49:00.730 --> 00:49:02.105
Go for it!

684
00:49:06.068 --> 00:49:07.611
-Come on.
-Why?

685
00:49:18.414 --> 00:49:19.581
This is so patronizing.

686
00:49:19.665 --> 00:49:22.250
Leave it to you to use
big words when you're smashed.

687
00:49:22.335 --> 00:49:25.337
-I don't think so.
-Kat.

688
00:49:27.173 --> 00:49:30.258
-Why are you doing this?
-I told you. You may have a concussion.

689
00:49:30.343 --> 00:49:31.885
You don't care if I never wake up.

690
00:49:31.969 --> 00:49:34.012
-Sure I do.
-Why?

691
00:49:34.263 --> 00:49:37.182
Because then I'd have to start
taking out girls who actually like me.

692
00:49:37.266 --> 00:49:39.392
-Like you could find one.
-Oh, see? That, there.

693
00:49:39.477 --> 00:49:41.561
Who needs affection
when I have blind hatred?

694
00:49:41.646 --> 00:49:45.106
-I just... Let me sit down for a while.
-All right. There.

695
00:50:00.539 --> 00:50:02.624
-So, why'd you let him get to you?
-Who?

696
00:50:02.708 --> 00:50:04.918
-Joey.
-I hate him.

697
00:50:07.046 --> 00:50:10.674
Well, you've chosen the perfect
revenge, mainlining tequila.

698
00:50:12.051 --> 00:50:15.512
-Well, you know what they say.
-Nope. What do they say?

699
00:50:16.722 --> 00:50:19.933
No, no, no, no. Kat, come on, wake up!
Look at me!

700
00:50:20.476 --> 00:50:23.019
Listen to me, Kat! Open your eyes!

701
00:50:28.943 --> 00:50:30.068
Hey.

702
00:50:31.070 --> 00:50:33.238
Your eyes have a little green in them.

703
00:50:51.257 --> 00:50:52.674
I don't know if we should go.

704
00:50:52.758 --> 00:50:55.677
Hey, a bunch of us
are going to Jarrett's. Ready?

705
00:50:55.761 --> 00:50:58.263
I have to be home in 20 minutes.

706
00:50:58.431 --> 00:51:01.683
Well, you know I don't have to be home
till 2:00, so...

707
00:51:02.017 --> 00:51:05.729
-One more chance.
-Man, I can't.

708
00:51:05.938 --> 00:51:07.981
-Damn.
-That's a shame.

709
00:51:09.358 --> 00:51:11.276
-You wanna go?
-Sure.

710
00:51:11.360 --> 00:51:13.445
-Chastity!
-Hey, you passed.

711
00:51:14.530 --> 00:51:15.739
Bitch.

712
00:51:20.327 --> 00:51:22.829
-Hey. Have fun tonight?
-Tons.

713
00:51:23.873 --> 00:51:26.082
Hey, Cameron?

714
00:51:27.460 --> 00:51:30.420
Do you think you could
give me a ride home?

715
00:51:33.924 --> 00:51:35.633
I should do this.

716
00:51:35.718 --> 00:51:37.427
-Do what?
-This!

717
00:51:38.637 --> 00:51:41.473
-Start a band?
-No, install car stereos.

718
00:51:41.640 --> 00:51:45.143
Yeah, start a band.
My father would love that.

719
00:51:58.532 --> 00:52:02.494
You don't strike me as the type that
would ask your father for permission.

720
00:52:02.578 --> 00:52:05.997
-Oh, so now you think you know me?
-I'm getting there.

721
00:52:06.081 --> 00:52:09.501
The only thing people know
about me is that I'm scary.

722
00:52:10.836 --> 00:52:13.505
Yeah, well, I'm no picnic myself.

723
00:52:21.555 --> 00:52:25.517
So what's up with your dad?
Is he... Is he a pain in the ass?

724
00:52:25.601 --> 00:52:27.977
No, he just wants me to be
somebody that I'm not.

725
00:52:28.062 --> 00:52:29.771
-Who?
-Bianca.

726
00:52:29.855 --> 00:52:31.272
Oh, Bianca.

727
00:52:35.110 --> 00:52:38.071
No offense or anything... I mean
I know everyone "digs" your sister,

728
00:52:38.155 --> 00:52:40.865
but she's without.

729
00:52:48.374 --> 00:52:49.624
You know,

730
00:52:51.710 --> 00:52:54.462
you're not as vile
as I thought you were.

731
00:53:05.099 --> 00:53:07.809
Maybe we should do this another time.

732
00:53:52.396 --> 00:53:55.481
You never wanted
to go sailing with me, did you?

733
00:53:56.984 --> 00:53:58.276
Yes, I did.

734
00:53:59.695 --> 00:54:01.154
No, you didn't.

735
00:54:02.907 --> 00:54:05.533
Okay, no, not actually...

736
00:54:05.618 --> 00:54:08.328
Well, then that's all you had to say.

737
00:54:10.539 --> 00:54:12.999
Have you always been this selfish?

738
00:54:16.128 --> 00:54:17.503
Yes.

739
00:54:21.425 --> 00:54:22.759
You know, just 'cause you're beautiful,

740
00:54:22.843 --> 00:54:27.013
that doesn't mean that you can
treat people like they don't matter.

741
00:54:27.264 --> 00:54:30.099
I mean, I really liked you, okay.

742
00:54:30.184 --> 00:54:33.019
I defended you
when people called you conceited,

743
00:54:33.103 --> 00:54:35.188
I helped you when you asked me to,

744
00:54:35.272 --> 00:54:39.442
I learned French for you and then
you just blow me off so you could...

745
00:55:09.765 --> 00:55:11.849
And I'm back in the game!

746
00:55:15.312 --> 00:55:19.607
Kat, me lady.
You szay to the rhythm of me heart.

747
00:55:19.900 --> 00:55:21.609
Dance for me, cozgirl.

748
00:55:21.735 --> 00:55:24.988
Kat, babe, what do we oze you
for the table dance?

749
00:55:26.115 --> 00:55:28.574
All right, not that I give a damn,
but how was everybody's weekend?

750
00:55:28.659 --> 00:55:31.452
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe we should ask Kat.

751
00:55:32.037 --> 00:55:34.163
Unless she kicked the crap
out of your dumb butt,

752
00:55:34.248 --> 00:55:36.207
I don't wanna hear about it.

753
00:55:36.291 --> 00:55:41.045
Okay, let's open up our books
to page 73, Sonnet 141.

754
00:55:41.130 --> 00:55:42.588
And listen up.

755
00:55:42.673 --> 00:55:44.632
"In faith, I do not love thee
with mine eyes

756
00:55:44.717 --> 00:55:46.843
"For they in thee
a thousand errors note

757
00:55:46.927 --> 00:55:49.053
"But 'tis my heart that loves
what they despise

758
00:55:49.138 --> 00:55:51.973
"Who, in despite of view,
is pleas'd to dote"

759
00:55:53.600 --> 00:55:56.769
Now, I know Shakespeare's
a dead white guy,

760
00:55:56.854 --> 00:55:59.397
but he knozs his shit,
so we can overlook that.

761
00:55:59.481 --> 00:56:02.233
I want you all to write
your own version of this sonnet.

762
00:56:04.653 --> 00:56:07.697
Yes, Miss I-Have-An-Opinion-
About-Everything?

763
00:56:07.865 --> 00:56:10.491
Do you want this in iambic pentameter?

764
00:56:11.326 --> 00:56:13.036
You're not gonna fight me on this?

765
00:56:13.120 --> 00:56:15.872
No, I think
it's a really good assignment.

766
00:56:16.832 --> 00:56:18.207
You're just
messin' with me, aren't you?

767
00:56:18.292 --> 00:56:21.127
No, I'm really looking forward
to writing it.

768
00:56:21.211 --> 00:56:22.462
Get out of my class.

769
00:56:22.546 --> 00:56:24.881
-What?
-Out. Get out!

770
00:56:31.805 --> 00:56:34.098
-Thanks, Mr. Morgan.
-Shut up.

771
00:56:57.831 --> 00:57:00.708
Hey. Cool picture.

772
00:57:01.710 --> 00:57:04.462
What's that collar for? Is that
to keep him from licking his stitches?

773
00:57:08.092 --> 00:57:12.178
Kidding. No, because I know
you're a fan of Shakespeare.

774
00:57:12.262 --> 00:57:15.556
More than a fan. We're involved.

775
00:57:16.517 --> 00:57:17.683
Okay.

776
00:57:19.353 --> 00:57:22.313
"Who could refrain
That had a heart to love

777
00:57:23.065 --> 00:57:26.651
-"and in that heart..."
-"Courage to make love known."

778
00:57:27.528 --> 00:57:29.946
-That's Macbeth, right?
-Right.

779
00:57:32.324 --> 00:57:35.284
So, listen, I... I have this friend,

780
00:57:36.328 --> 00:57:38.329
and he likes your friend...

781
00:57:45.712 --> 00:57:47.547
What did you do to her?

782
00:57:47.631 --> 00:57:49.924
I didn't do anything. She would've been
too drunk to remember.

783
00:57:50.008 --> 00:57:51.801
But the plan was working.

784
00:57:51.885 --> 00:57:54.679
What do you care?
I thought you wanted out.

785
00:57:55.013 --> 00:57:57.473
Yeah, well, I did, but

786
00:57:57.558 --> 00:57:59.684
that was until she kissed me.

787
00:58:01.019 --> 00:58:03.146
-Where?
-In the car.

788
00:58:06.567 --> 00:58:07.650
Sorry.

789
00:58:07.734 --> 00:58:09.569
-Dweeb! Putz!
-I'm sorry.

790
00:58:09.653 --> 00:58:11.571
All right, I talked to her.

791
00:58:11.655 --> 00:58:12.905
-I got the scoop.
-What'd she say?

792
00:58:12.990 --> 00:58:15.449
"Hates him with the fire
of a thousand suns."

793
00:58:15.534 --> 00:58:17.368
That's a direct quote.

794
00:58:17.870 --> 00:58:21.038
Thanks, Michael.
That's very comforting of you.

795
00:58:21.832 --> 00:58:24.959
We don't know.
She could need a day to cool off.

796
00:58:31.842 --> 00:58:33.217
Maybe two.

797
00:58:43.145 --> 00:58:44.187
Hey!

798
00:58:44.271 --> 00:58:48.065
Can you imagine who would go
to that antiquated mating ritual?

799
00:58:48.275 --> 00:58:50.610
I would, but I don't have a date.

800
00:58:51.028 --> 00:58:52.403
Do you really want
to get all dressed up,

801
00:58:52.487 --> 00:58:55.907
so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter
with a boner can feel you up

802
00:58:55.991 --> 00:58:59.202
while you're forced to listen
to a band that by definition blozs?

803
00:58:59.286 --> 00:59:01.204
All right, all right, we won't go.

804
00:59:01.288 --> 00:59:03.873
It's not like I've got a dress anyway.

805
00:59:04.333 --> 00:59:06.792
You're looking at this
from entirely the wrong perspective.

806
00:59:06.877 --> 00:59:08.377
We're making a statement.

807
00:59:08.462 --> 00:59:11.881
Oh, goody.
Something new and different for us.

808
00:59:29.149 --> 00:59:32.610
-Hey there, Cupid.
-Hi, Joey.

809
00:59:33.070 --> 00:59:36.405
You're concentrating awfully hard
considering it's gym class.

810
00:59:37.324 --> 00:59:40.451
-Can I help you?
-I want to talk to you about prom.

811
00:59:46.083 --> 00:59:49.085
Look, you know the deal.
I can't go if Kat doesn't go.

812
00:59:49.169 --> 00:59:51.087
Your sister is going.

813
00:59:52.130 --> 00:59:56.259
-Since when?
-Let's just say I'm taking care of it.

814
01:00:01.348 --> 01:00:04.809
This should take care of the
flozers, the limo, the tux, everything.

815
01:00:04.893 --> 01:00:07.353
Just make sure she gets to the prom.

816
01:00:07.729 --> 01:00:11.023
Do you know what?
I'm sick of playing your little game.

817
01:00:11.108 --> 01:00:12.942
Okay, wait, wait, wait.

818
01:00:13.026 --> 01:00:16.445
You sick of, let's say, 300?

819
01:01:39.112 --> 01:01:41.113
Excuse me. Have you
seen The Feminine Mystique?

820
01:01:41.198 --> 01:01:42.323
I've lost my copy.

821
01:01:42.407 --> 01:01:45.493
-What are you doing here?
-I heard there was a poetry reading.

822
01:01:45.577 --> 01:01:47.495
-You're so...
-Charming.

823
01:01:48.413 --> 01:01:50.206
Wholesome.

824
01:01:50.290 --> 01:01:51.791
Unwelcome.

825
01:01:54.544 --> 01:01:56.879
You're not as mean as you think
you are, you know that?

826
01:01:56.963 --> 01:01:59.382
And you're not as badass
as you think you are.

827
01:01:59.466 --> 01:02:01.801
Someone still has her panties in a twist.

828
01:02:01.885 --> 01:02:05.137
Don't for one minute think that you had
any effect whatsoever on my panties.

829
01:02:05.222 --> 01:02:06.680
Then what did I have an effect on?

830
01:02:06.765 --> 01:02:09.558
Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.

831
01:02:22.072 --> 01:02:24.240
You're right, she's still pissed.

832
01:02:24.324 --> 01:02:26.367
"Sweet love, renew thy force"

833
01:02:26.451 --> 01:02:30.413
Hey! Don't say shit like that to me.
People can hear you.

834
01:02:30.497 --> 01:02:32.373
Look, you embarrassed the girl.

835
01:02:32.457 --> 01:02:36.085
Sacrifice yourself on the altar of dignity
and even the score.

836
01:02:39.589 --> 01:02:42.425
Listen, don't say shit like that to him.

837
01:02:42.759 --> 01:02:44.593
People can hear you.

838
01:03:15.083 --> 01:03:18.919
You're just too good to be true

839
01:03:19.004 --> 01:03:22.798
Can't take my eyes off of you

840
01:03:22.883 --> 01:03:25.843
You'd be like heaven to touch

841
01:03:26.511 --> 01:03:29.430
l wanna hold you so much

842
01:03:30.432 --> 01:03:33.684
At long last love has arrived

843
01:03:34.436 --> 01:03:37.438
And l thank God l'm alive

844
01:03:38.315 --> 01:03:41.233
You're just too good to be true

845
01:03:42.068 --> 01:03:45.946
Can't take my eyes off of you

846
01:04:02.964 --> 01:04:05.633
l love you, baby

847
01:04:05.717 --> 01:04:09.553
And if it's quite all right
l need you, baby

848
01:04:09.638 --> 01:04:13.849
To warm the lonely night
l love you, baby

849
01:04:14.100 --> 01:04:18.312
Trust in me when l say

850
01:04:18.396 --> 01:04:20.940
Oh, pretty baby

851
01:04:21.024 --> 01:04:24.818
Don't bring me down, l pray
Oh, pretty baby

852
01:04:24.903 --> 01:04:30.157
Now that l found you, stay
and let me love you, baby

853
01:04:30.242 --> 01:04:35.037
Let me love you

854
01:05:20.625 --> 01:05:22.751
You look pretty nervous.

855
01:05:23.628 --> 01:05:25.379
Yes, sir.

856
01:05:25.463 --> 01:05:27.548
You're szeating like a pig.

857
01:05:28.383 --> 01:05:29.717
Yes, sir.

858
01:05:29.801 --> 01:05:32.219
Your eyes are all bloodshot.

859
01:05:33.763 --> 01:05:34.888
Yes, sir.

860
01:05:34.973 --> 01:05:37.349
You've got pot, don't you?

861
01:05:43.523 --> 01:05:45.524
I'm confiscating this.

862
01:05:55.035 --> 01:05:56.452
This, too.

863
01:06:01.207 --> 01:06:03.959
Mr. Chapin, can I talk to you
for a second?

864
01:06:04.044 --> 01:06:05.628
What can I do for you, Stratford?

865
01:06:05.712 --> 01:06:08.631
I have some ideas on how
we can improve the girls' soccer team.

866
01:06:08.715 --> 01:06:11.050
Great! Let's talk about it later.

867
01:06:13.720 --> 01:06:18.140
The window.

868
01:06:20.894 --> 01:06:23.562
As you know, we have
a really big game with Hillcrest High...

869
01:06:23.647 --> 01:06:25.147
Your bicep is huge!

870
01:06:25.231 --> 01:06:27.900
Oh, my God.
The other one's even bigger.

871
01:06:28.234 --> 01:06:30.569
You don't take steroids, do you,
because I've heard steroids

872
01:06:30.695 --> 01:06:33.238
can severely disintegrate
your package?

873
01:06:34.407 --> 01:06:36.158
Not that I'm thinking about
your package.

874
01:06:36.242 --> 01:06:38.369
-That's not the point.
-Let's hope not.

875
01:06:39.537 --> 01:06:42.164
The point is they kick our butts
every year.

876
01:06:42.248 --> 01:06:46.877
I was thinking, I devised a plan that
will enable us to finally defeat them.

877
01:06:47.003 --> 01:06:48.420
Which is?

878
01:06:48.838 --> 01:06:51.757
-That thing that you taught us.
-What thing?

879
01:06:52.092 --> 01:06:54.093
-Misdirection.
-I taught you that?

880
01:06:54.177 --> 01:06:57.930
Yeah, you or Siegfried or Roy?
Anyway, that's not important.

881
01:06:59.099 --> 01:07:00.683
The... Think about it.

882
01:07:00.767 --> 01:07:03.435
They're looking left
and we're running right.

883
01:07:03.561 --> 01:07:05.604
Bang, we score. We win.

884
01:07:06.439 --> 01:07:08.440
Okay, but how do we get 'em
to look left?

885
01:07:10.276 --> 01:07:11.777
Like this.

886
01:07:19.285 --> 01:07:21.620
Okay. Well,

887
01:07:22.914 --> 01:07:25.290
now that you've seen "the plan,"

888
01:07:25.583 --> 01:07:29.878
I'm gonna go and show "the plan"
to someone else.

889
01:07:31.923 --> 01:07:33.048
Okay.

890
01:07:33.800 --> 01:07:34.925
Hi.

891
01:07:43.643 --> 01:07:46.145
I can't thank you enough
for helping me sneak out of detention.

892
01:07:46.271 --> 01:07:48.147
-Very cool.
-No problem.

893
01:07:48.314 --> 01:07:51.483
I thought for sure I was busted when I
was climbing out that window, I tell ya.

894
01:07:51.568 --> 01:07:53.902
So, how did you keep him distracted?

895
01:07:53.987 --> 01:07:56.739
I dazzled him with my wits.

896
01:08:00.452 --> 01:08:02.828
-So, what's your excuse?
-For?

897
01:08:03.163 --> 01:08:05.122
For acting the way we do?

898
01:08:06.166 --> 01:08:08.417
I don't like to do what people expect.

899
01:08:08.501 --> 01:08:11.670
Why should I live up to other people's
expectations instead of my own?

900
01:08:11.796 --> 01:08:15.090
So, you disappoint 'em from the start
and then you're covered, right?

901
01:08:16.342 --> 01:08:18.343
Something like that.

902
01:08:19.679 --> 01:08:22.181
-Then you screzed up.
-How?

903
01:08:23.975 --> 01:08:26.018
You never disappointed me.

904
01:08:34.819 --> 01:08:36.361
Are you up for it?

905
01:08:37.030 --> 01:08:38.530
Up for what?

906
01:10:01.739 --> 01:10:03.365
All right, come on.

907
01:10:18.464 --> 01:10:20.465
No, none of that stuff is true.

908
01:10:20.592 --> 01:10:23.969
-State trooper.
-Fallacy. Dead guy in the parking lot?

909
01:10:24.095 --> 01:10:25.971
Rumor. The duck?

910
01:10:26.055 --> 01:10:28.307
Hearsay. Bobby Ridgezay's balls?

911
01:10:28.641 --> 01:10:31.143
Fact. But he deserved it.
He tried to grope me in the lunch line.

912
01:10:31.269 --> 01:10:33.270
-Fair enough.
-The accent?

913
01:10:33.646 --> 01:10:37.149
It's real.
I lived in Australia until I was 1 0.

914
01:10:37.483 --> 01:10:40.277
-With the Pygmies?
-Close.

915
01:10:40.486 --> 01:10:41.987
With my mom.

916
01:10:43.656 --> 01:10:46.825
Where were you last year?
I know the porn career is a lie.

917
01:10:46.910 --> 01:10:48.243
Do you?

918
01:10:56.502 --> 01:10:59.296
-Tell me something true.
-Something true.

919
01:11:02.342 --> 01:11:03.800
I hate peas.

920
01:11:04.344 --> 01:11:07.930
No. Something real.
Something no one else knozs.

921
01:11:08.097 --> 01:11:10.515
Okay. You're szeet,

922
01:11:13.186 --> 01:11:14.686
and sexy,

923
01:11:16.481 --> 01:11:18.523
and completely hot for me.

924
01:11:20.193 --> 01:11:22.945
You are amazingly self-assured.
Has anyone ever told you that?

925
01:11:23.029 --> 01:11:25.864
I tell myself that every day, actually.

926
01:11:28.993 --> 01:11:32.788
-Go to the prom with me.
-Is that a request or a command?

927
01:11:32.872 --> 01:11:35.040
Come on. Go with me.

928
01:11:35.541 --> 01:11:38.543
-No.
-No? Why not?

929
01:11:39.045 --> 01:11:41.046
Because I don't want to.
Because it's a stupid tradition.

930
01:11:41.172 --> 01:11:43.882
Come on.
People won't expect you to go.

931
01:11:44.717 --> 01:11:46.843
Why are you pushing this?

932
01:11:49.222 --> 01:11:51.014
What's in it for you?

933
01:11:54.560 --> 01:11:58.146
So now I need to have a motive
to want to be with you?

934
01:11:58.231 --> 01:11:59.731
You tell me.

935
01:12:01.901 --> 01:12:03.235
You need therapy, you know that?

936
01:12:03.361 --> 01:12:05.862
Has anyone ever told you that?

937
01:12:06.698 --> 01:12:08.573
-Anszer the question, Patrick.
-Nothing!

938
01:12:08.658 --> 01:12:09.658
There is nothing in it for me,

939
01:12:09.742 --> 01:12:12.327
just the pleasure of your company.
Okay?

940
01:12:37.228 --> 01:12:40.188
Wait. Wait a minute.
That... That's not on this page.

941
01:13:19.771 --> 01:13:20.979
Seven!

942
01:13:23.983 --> 01:13:25.150
Good.

943
01:13:29.489 --> 01:13:31.782
-Daddy?
-Hi, honey.

944
01:13:32.325 --> 01:13:37.079
I'd like to discuss tomorrow night
with you. As you know, it's the prom...

945
01:13:42.919 --> 01:13:45.337
The prom? Kat has a date?

946
01:13:46.172 --> 01:13:47.672
Well, no.

947
01:13:49.008 --> 01:13:50.092
Don't think you're fooling me.

948
01:13:50.176 --> 01:13:51.510
I know who you wanna
bend the rules for.

949
01:13:51.594 --> 01:13:53.512
It's that hot-rod Joey.

950
01:13:53.596 --> 01:13:55.263
What's a hot rod?

951
01:13:56.015 --> 01:14:00.435
It's a... If your sister's not going,
you're not going. End of story.

952
01:14:01.437 --> 01:14:03.188
Okay, let's review.

953
01:14:03.314 --> 01:14:06.358
Kat, not interested, me, dying to go.

954
01:14:06.609 --> 01:14:08.693
Do you know what happens at proms?

955
01:14:08.778 --> 01:14:11.530
Yes, Daddy. We'll dance,
we'll kiss, we'll come home.

956
01:14:11.614 --> 01:14:14.116
It's not quite the crisis situation
you imagine.

957
01:14:14.200 --> 01:14:16.284
Kissing, huh?
That's what you think happens?

958
01:14:16.369 --> 01:14:17.452
Got nezs for you.

959
01:14:17.537 --> 01:14:22.040
Kissing isn't what keeps me up to
my elbozs in placenta all day long.

960
01:14:22.542 --> 01:14:25.460
Can we for two seconds ignore the fact
that you're severely unhinged,

961
01:14:25.545 --> 01:14:28.046
and discuss my need for a night
of teenage normalcy?

962
01:14:28.131 --> 01:14:31.216
What's normal?
Those damn Dazson's River kids,

963
01:14:31.300 --> 01:14:34.052
sleeping in each other's beds
and whatnot?

964
01:14:34.637 --> 01:14:36.805
-Daddy, that is so not...
-Got nezs for ya.

965
01:14:36.889 --> 01:14:38.557
I'm down. I've got the 4-1 -1 .

966
01:14:38.641 --> 01:14:40.976
And you are not going out
and getting jiggy with some boy.

967
01:14:41.060 --> 01:14:43.562
I don't care how dope his ride is.

968
01:14:48.568 --> 01:14:50.986
My mama didn't raise no fool.

969
01:14:52.405 --> 01:14:53.905
Thanks, Bill.

970
01:14:55.658 --> 01:14:58.785
Ridiculous amounts of love
across this nation worldwide.

971
01:14:59.203 --> 01:15:00.412
Believe it.

972
01:15:01.747 --> 01:15:03.665
This is the true story.

973
01:15:05.251 --> 01:15:06.418
Seattle.

974
01:15:08.921 --> 01:15:10.338
Come in.

975
01:15:16.596 --> 01:15:18.263
Listen, I know...

976
01:15:21.267 --> 01:15:24.436
I know you hate having to sit at home
because I'm not Suzy High School.

977
01:15:24.562 --> 01:15:26.771
-Like you care.
-I do care.

978
01:15:27.940 --> 01:15:30.609
But I'm a firm believer in doing
something for your own reasons,

979
01:15:30.693 --> 01:15:32.694
and not someone else's.

980
01:15:33.613 --> 01:15:35.614
Well, I wish I had that luxury.

981
01:15:35.698 --> 01:15:38.450
You know, I'm the only sophomore
that got asked to go to the prom,

982
01:15:38.534 --> 01:15:41.453
and I can't go
because you don't feel like it.

983
01:15:45.458 --> 01:15:48.710
Joey never told you
that we went out, did he?

984
01:15:48.794 --> 01:15:52.297
-Yeah, okay.
-In ninth, for a month.

985
01:15:58.971 --> 01:16:02.265
-Why?
-Because he was, like, such a babe.

986
01:16:03.309 --> 01:16:06.102
-But you hate Joey.
-Now I do.

987
01:16:06.979 --> 01:16:08.480
So, what happened?

988
01:16:15.821 --> 01:16:17.739
Please tell me you're joking.

989
01:16:17.823 --> 01:16:21.243
Just once, right after Mom left.

990
01:16:22.495 --> 01:16:24.913
Everyone was doing it, so...

991
01:16:24.997 --> 01:16:26.331
I did it.

992
01:16:27.333 --> 01:16:30.669
Afterwards I told him I didn't want to
anymore because I wasn't ready,

993
01:16:30.795 --> 01:16:33.296
and he got pissed and he dumped me.

994
01:16:34.507 --> 01:16:36.341
After that I szore I'd never do anything

995
01:16:36.425 --> 01:16:38.260
just because everyone else
was doing it.

996
01:16:38.344 --> 01:16:40.011
And I haven't since,

997
01:16:40.638 --> 01:16:42.264
with the exception of Bogey's party

998
01:16:42.348 --> 01:16:44.975
and my stunning
digestive pyrotechnics.

999
01:16:47.186 --> 01:16:50.355
How is it possible
that I did not know about this?

1000
01:16:50.856 --> 01:16:52.274
I warned him that if he told anyone,

1001
01:16:52.358 --> 01:16:56.027
the cheerleading squad would find out
how tiny his dick is.

1002
01:16:58.864 --> 01:17:01.700
Okay, so why didn't you tell me?

1003
01:17:03.536 --> 01:17:06.621
I wanted to let you
make up your mind about him.

1004
01:17:07.873 --> 01:17:10.834
Then why did you help Daddy
hold me hostage?

1005
01:17:11.210 --> 01:17:14.546
It's not like I'm stupid enough
to repeat your mistakes.

1006
01:17:14.630 --> 01:17:16.548
I guess I thought I was protecting you.

1007
01:17:16.674 --> 01:17:19.634
By not letting me experience
anything for myself?

1008
01:17:19.719 --> 01:17:22.387
Not all experiences are good, Bianca.

1009
01:17:22.471 --> 01:17:24.472
You can't always trust
the people you want to.

1010
01:17:24.557 --> 01:17:27.142
Well, I guess I'll never know, will I?

1011
01:18:12.271 --> 01:18:14.022
Ladies with thinning hair or bald spots,

1012
01:18:14.106 --> 01:18:18.610
G.L.H. solves the problem instantly.
G.L.H. is not a paint or a cover-up.

1013
01:18:19.070 --> 01:18:23.031
lt's an amazing powder that clings
to the tiniest hairs on your head.

1014
01:18:23.115 --> 01:18:24.949
lt actually builds on itself,

1015
01:18:25.034 --> 01:18:27.619
leaving you with great,
great-looking hair.

1016
01:18:27.745 --> 01:18:29.371
And the G.L.H. hair system
is not expensive.

1017
01:18:29.455 --> 01:18:30.538
Interesting.

1018
01:18:30.623 --> 01:18:33.041
Order your G.L.H. hair package now.

1019
01:18:33.793 --> 01:18:36.044
Bye, Dad. I'm going to the prom.

1020
01:18:36.587 --> 01:18:37.796
Funny, szeetie.

1021
01:18:38.255 --> 01:18:41.216
lt instantly covers your bald spot
leaving you with great looking hair.

1022
01:18:45.763 --> 01:18:47.889
-What's that?
-A prom dress.

1023
01:18:48.140 --> 01:18:50.767
I seem to be hearing that word
a lot lately.

1024
01:18:55.981 --> 01:18:59.150
-Hi.
-Wow. I...

1025
01:19:02.905 --> 01:19:04.447
Wow.

1026
01:19:05.074 --> 01:19:06.908
-Bye, Daddy.
-Stop.

1027
01:19:06.992 --> 01:19:09.786
Turn. Explain.

1028
01:19:11.163 --> 01:19:14.499
Okay. Remember how you said
I could date if Kat dated?

1029
01:19:14.583 --> 01:19:16.835
Well, she found this guy
who's actually kind of perfect for her

1030
01:19:16.961 --> 01:19:18.336
which is perfect for me,

1031
01:19:18.421 --> 01:19:21.256
because Cameron asked me to go to
the prom and I really, really wanna go,

1032
01:19:21.340 --> 01:19:24.509
and since Kat went, I guess I'm allozed
to, based on the aforementioned rule,

1033
01:19:24.635 --> 01:19:26.678
and its previous stipulations, of course.

1034
01:19:27.513 --> 01:19:29.431
-Nice to meet you.
-Let's go.

1035
01:19:33.185 --> 01:19:35.520
I know every cop in town, bucko!

1036
01:19:38.858 --> 01:19:40.608
This is not good.

1037
01:20:22.234 --> 01:20:23.401
Wow.

1038
01:20:24.904 --> 01:20:26.237
You, too.

1039
01:20:29.325 --> 01:20:30.909
Where'd you get a tux
at the last minute?

1040
01:20:30.993 --> 01:20:34.162
Oh, just something I had,
you know, lying around.

1041
01:20:34.538 --> 01:20:35.747
Where'd you get the dress?

1042
01:20:35.873 --> 01:20:38.416
Oh, just something I had,
you know, lying around.

1043
01:20:42.004 --> 01:20:45.840
Listen, I'm really sorry
that I questioned your motives.

1044
01:20:46.425 --> 01:20:48.051
I was wrong.

1045
01:20:49.929 --> 01:20:51.596
You're forgiven.

1046
01:20:54.391 --> 01:20:55.558
Okay.

1047
01:20:56.560 --> 01:20:58.937
-Ready for the prom?
-Yes, ma'am.

1048
01:21:12.618 --> 01:21:16.287
Hi, Mr. Stratford. I'm Joey.
I'm here to pick up Bianca.

1049
01:21:37.476 --> 01:21:39.143
-Have you seen him?
-Who?

1050
01:21:39.270 --> 01:21:41.938
William.
He asked me to meet him here.

1051
01:21:42.815 --> 01:21:44.566
Oh, Mandella,
please tell me you haven't

1052
01:21:44.650 --> 01:21:47.277
progressed to full-on hallucinations.

1053
01:22:09.925 --> 01:22:12.260
-Milady.
-Good sir.

1054
01:22:36.827 --> 01:22:38.536
Oh, my God, it's...

1055
01:22:40.289 --> 01:22:42.206
I called in a favor!

1056
01:23:39.598 --> 01:23:41.099
What are you doing here?

1057
01:23:41.225 --> 01:23:43.685
I know you didn't think you were
the only sophomore at the prom.

1058
01:23:43.769 --> 01:23:45.603
Joey just picked me up.

1059
01:23:45.688 --> 01:23:48.690
Oh, well, congratulations.
He's all yours.

1060
01:23:48.774 --> 01:23:50.441
Very generous, princess.

1061
01:23:50.526 --> 01:23:53.695
And just so you know,
Joey only liked you for one reason.

1062
01:23:53.779 --> 01:23:55.697
He even had a bet going
with his friends.

1063
01:23:55.781 --> 01:23:57.949
He was gonna nail you tonight.

1064
01:24:02.955 --> 01:24:05.206
-Milwaukee.
-What?

1065
01:24:05.416 --> 01:24:08.459
That's where I was last year.
I wasn't in jail.

1066
01:24:08.627 --> 01:24:09.877
I don't know Marilyn Manson

1067
01:24:09.962 --> 01:24:13.589
and I didn't sleep with a Spice Girl,
I don't think.

1068
01:24:13.757 --> 01:24:17.468
You see, my grandpa, he was ill
so I spent most of the year on his couch

1069
01:24:17.594 --> 01:24:20.888
watching Wheel ofFortune
and making SpaghettiOs.

1070
01:24:21.598 --> 01:24:23.099
End of story.

1071
01:24:23.726 --> 01:24:25.059
No way.

1072
01:24:27.271 --> 01:24:31.107
Hey. What's Bianca doing here
with that cheese dick?

1073
01:24:31.316 --> 01:24:36.154
I didn't pay you to take out Kat so some
little punk could snake me with Bianca.

1074
01:24:40.159 --> 01:24:42.285
Nothing in it for you, huh?

1075
01:24:53.672 --> 01:24:55.798
The shit hath hitteth

1076
01:24:55.924 --> 01:24:58.009
the faneth.

1077
01:25:01.847 --> 01:25:04.974
Joey, pal, compadre?

1078
01:25:08.020 --> 01:25:11.272
You messed with the wrong guy,
and now you're gonna pay.

1079
01:25:11.356 --> 01:25:13.983
You and that little bitch.

1080
01:25:14.777 --> 01:25:18.196
All right, that's enough, okay!
You crossed the line.

1081
01:25:20.365 --> 01:25:22.533
Oh, come on! Get up, you little punk!

1082
01:25:27.664 --> 01:25:30.875
Shit, Bianca!
I'm shooting a nose spray ad tomorrow!

1083
01:25:31.001 --> 01:25:34.462
That's for making my date bleed!
That's for my sister!

1084
01:25:35.547 --> 01:25:37.298
And that's for me.

1085
01:25:44.848 --> 01:25:46.349
Are you okay?

1086
01:25:47.351 --> 01:25:49.060
Never been better.

1087
01:25:58.070 --> 01:25:59.111
Would you give me a chance...

1088
01:25:59.196 --> 01:26:02.406
You were paid to take me out
by the one person I truly hate.

1089
01:26:02.533 --> 01:26:04.534
I knew this was a set-up!

1090
01:26:04.701 --> 01:26:07.078
Kat, it wasn't like that, okay.

1091
01:26:07.162 --> 01:26:09.831
What was it like, a down payment now
and a bonus for sleeping with me?

1092
01:26:09.915 --> 01:26:12.875
No, I didn't care about the money!
I cared...

1093
01:26:13.710 --> 01:26:15.545
I cared about you.

1094
01:26:17.089 --> 01:26:19.757
You are so not who I thought you were.

1095
01:27:02.718 --> 01:27:04.427
You want?

1096
01:27:04.636 --> 01:27:05.887
Thanks.

1097
01:27:07.139 --> 01:27:11.142
So, you sure you don't want
to go sailing with us? It'll be fun.

1098
01:27:11.602 --> 01:27:13.477
No, I'm fine.

1099
01:27:14.897 --> 01:27:18.983
Look, I don't know if I ever thanked you
for going last night,

1100
01:27:20.319 --> 01:27:22.653
but it really meant a lot to me.

1101
01:27:24.948 --> 01:27:26.282
I'm glad.

1102
01:27:28.410 --> 01:27:30.620
-Hey.
-Hey.

1103
01:27:30.829 --> 01:27:32.622
You ready?

1104
01:27:34.249 --> 01:27:35.958
-See you later.
-Bye.

1105
01:27:37.961 --> 01:27:40.463
-Is... Is she okay?
-I hope so.

1106
01:27:47.471 --> 01:27:49.347
Where's your sister going?

1107
01:27:49.598 --> 01:27:53.309
She's meeting some bikers,
big ones, full of sperm.

1108
01:27:55.270 --> 01:27:56.479
Funny.

1109
01:27:58.607 --> 01:28:01.484
So, tell me about this dance.
Was it hoppin'?

1110
01:28:02.611 --> 01:28:03.778
Parts of it.

1111
01:28:03.862 --> 01:28:05.154
Which parts?

1112
01:28:05.989 --> 01:28:08.950
The part where Bianca
beat the hell out of some guy.

1113
01:28:09.034 --> 01:28:10.451
Bianca did what?

1114
01:28:10.535 --> 01:28:13.788
What's the matter,
upset that I rubbed off on her?

1115
01:28:14.539 --> 01:28:16.040
No, impressed.

1116
01:28:20.671 --> 01:28:22.630
Fathers don't like to admit it
when their daughters

1117
01:28:22.714 --> 01:28:24.048
are capable of running their own lives.

1118
01:28:24.132 --> 01:28:26.634
It means we've become spectators.

1119
01:28:30.472 --> 01:28:35.184
Bianca still lets me play a few innings.
You've had me on the bench for years.

1120
01:28:37.562 --> 01:28:40.982
And when you go to Sarah Lawrence,
I won't even be able to watch the game.

1121
01:28:43.235 --> 01:28:44.735
When I go?

1122
01:28:45.904 --> 01:28:48.906
Oh, boy. Don't tell me
you changed your mind.

1123
01:28:49.908 --> 01:28:52.076
I already sent 'em a check.

1124
01:29:09.177 --> 01:29:12.680
All right, I assume everyone
has found time to complete their poem,

1125
01:29:12.764 --> 01:29:14.598
except for Mr. Donner,

1126
01:29:15.100 --> 01:29:16.767
who has an excuse.

1127
01:29:18.854 --> 01:29:20.938
Shaft, lose the glasses.

1128
01:29:24.860 --> 01:29:28.195
All right, anyone brave enough
to read theirs aloud?

1129
01:29:36.621 --> 01:29:37.872
I will.

1130
01:29:40.292 --> 01:29:41.792
Lord, here we go.

1131
01:29:50.677 --> 01:29:54.055
"I hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair

1132
01:29:54.139 --> 01:29:58.559
"I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare

1133
01:29:58.643 --> 01:30:02.521
"I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind

1134
01:30:02.647 --> 01:30:06.317
"I hate you so much it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme

1135
01:30:08.612 --> 01:30:11.572
"I hate it...
I hate the way you're always right

1136
01:30:11.656 --> 01:30:13.783
"I hate it when you lie

1137
01:30:13.867 --> 01:30:17.953
"I hate it when you make me laugh
even worse when you make me cry

1138
01:30:19.498 --> 01:30:23.584
"I hate it when you're not around
and the fact that you didn't call

1139
01:30:23.668 --> 01:30:27.338
"But mostly, I hate the way
I don't hate you, not even close

1140
01:30:27.464 --> 01:30:30.049
"not even a little bit, not even at all"

1141
01:31:12.843 --> 01:31:16.262
-Nice, huh?
-A Fender Strat?

1142
01:31:16.888 --> 01:31:18.305
Is it for me?

1143
01:31:18.390 --> 01:31:22.143
Yeah, I thought you could use it,
you know, when you start your band.

1144
01:31:22.227 --> 01:31:24.937
Besides,
I had some extra cash, you know.

1145
01:31:25.063 --> 01:31:28.524
Some asshole paid me
to take out this really great girl.

1146
01:31:29.776 --> 01:31:31.527
Is that right?

1147
01:31:32.070 --> 01:31:35.531
Yeah, but I screzed up. I... I fell for her.

1148
01:31:38.118 --> 01:31:39.410
Really?

1149
01:31:40.954 --> 01:31:42.204
It's not every day you find a girl

1150
01:31:42.289 --> 01:31:45.583
who'll flash someone
to get you out of detention.

1151
01:31:46.418 --> 01:31:47.626
Oh, God.

1152
01:31:55.927 --> 01:31:59.638
You can't just buy me a guitar
every time you screw up, you know.

1153
01:32:00.056 --> 01:32:01.473
Yeah, I know.

1154
01:32:02.434 --> 01:32:06.145
But there's always drums and bass
and maybe even one day a tambourine.

1155
01:32:14.154 --> 01:32:15.279
And don't just think you can...

1156
01:34:46.598 --> 01:34:51.060
No offense. I know everyone "digs"
your sister and all,

1157
01:34:51.269 --> 01:34:52.811
but she's without.

1158
01:34:54.773 --> 01:34:58.734
You know, you're not as vile
as I thought you were.

1159
01:35:07.911 --> 01:35:10.621
You suck.

1160
01:35:10.830 --> 01:35:14.416
Okay. Let's go!

1161
01:35:16.336 --> 01:35:18.337
You're just messin' with me,
aren't you?

1162
01:35:18.463 --> 01:35:20.506
No, I'm really looking forward
to doing it.

1163
01:35:20.632 --> 01:35:21.882
Go see Miss Perky.

1164
01:35:21.966 --> 01:35:24.635
-What?
-Go. Perky's. Go, now.

1165
01:35:24.761 --> 01:35:27.638
Once again.
"Perky, now" is the second one.

1166
01:35:27.764 --> 01:35:30.516
-Perky's now. Perky's, now.
-Right away.

1167
01:35:30.642 --> 01:35:32.351
-Now, Perky's.
-Hey, hey.

1168
01:35:32.477 --> 01:35:35.229
-Now, Perky's. Perky's now.
-At the beginning of the shot.

1169
01:35:35.313 --> 01:35:36.688
Perk...

1170
01:35:40.276 --> 01:35:43.529
Bianca, let's go. We're all
congregating around Mr. Cuervo.

1171
01:35:44.989 --> 01:35:47.032
I'll see you around, okay?

1172
01:35:57.460 --> 01:36:00.212
Don't worry. There's better for you,

1173
01:36:00.380 --> 01:36:02.172
and it's right here.

1174
01:36:02.715 --> 01:36:05.050
Come here.
No, I wanted you for so long.

1175
01:36:07.637 --> 01:36:10.889
You messed with the wrong guy,
and now you're gonna pay.

1176
01:36:11.015 --> 01:36:13.308
You and that little bitch.

1177
01:36:14.477 --> 01:36:18.063
All right, that's enough, okay!
You crossed the line.

1178
01:36:23.153 --> 01:36:24.403
What, are you kidding me?

1179
01:36:30.368 --> 01:36:33.579
-I'm driving, so I pick the tunes.
-And it's my car.

1180
01:36:36.875 --> 01:36:39.418
I want some coffee!

1181
01:36:52.432 --> 01:36:55.267
Could I get a prophylactic?

1182
01:36:55.435 --> 01:36:57.227
A prophylactic.

1183
01:36:59.522 --> 01:37:02.483
-Let go!
-How could you set me up like that?

1184
01:37:02.567 --> 01:37:04.401
Oh, God, I just wanted...

1185
01:37:04.527 --> 01:37:06.528
To completely damage me,
send me to therapy forever?

1186
01:37:06.613 --> 01:37:09.031
-No, I just wanted...
-Ladies.

1187
01:37:11.910 --> 01:37:13.744
Shall we go to my office?

1188
01:37:16.539 --> 01:37:18.582
Oh, my God!