WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:17.510 --> 00:01:19.179 [Bridget] Fuck, fuck, fuck! So late! 4 00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:21.815 [Billy] Mabel's put a scarf on the cat. 5 00:01:21.848 --> 00:01:24.184 [Mabel] He's not a cat. He's my husband. 6 00:01:24.217 --> 00:01:26.186 Where is he? 7 00:01:26.219 --> 00:01:29.189 -Will he bring the ladies with the big boobies? -"Ladies"? 8 00:01:29.222 --> 00:01:31.324 [Mabel] Last time, he brushed my hair with a fork. 9 00:01:31.358 --> 00:01:33.727 [Billy] There were three ladies, and they had an epic pillow fight. 10 00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:36.396 -The fork had maple syrup on it. -Out of the way, darling. 11 00:01:36.429 --> 00:01:37.864 -[Mabel clears throat] -Well, 12 00:01:37.897 --> 00:01:40.533 it's obvious he's not coming, so I'll just stay home. 13 00:01:40.567 --> 00:01:43.503 You said this was the one thing you had to leave the house for this year. 14 00:01:43.536 --> 00:01:44.704 [Bridget sighs] You're right. I'm going. 15 00:01:44.738 --> 00:01:46.406 Move, please, Mabes. 16 00:01:48.641 --> 00:01:51.611 Fuck-- caccia. 17 00:01:51.644 --> 00:01:53.346 Did we eat the focaccia? 18 00:01:54.814 --> 00:01:57.751 [sighs] Well, we haven't got any vegetables. 19 00:01:57.784 --> 00:02:02.355 But lucky you, you get to have frozen peas. Mmm. 20 00:02:02.389 --> 00:02:04.624 All right. Come to the table. 21 00:02:04.657 --> 00:02:06.459 Come on. 22 00:02:06.493 --> 00:02:10.930 One, two... 23 00:02:10.964 --> 00:02:13.433 [Bridget] What am I going to do when I get to three? 24 00:02:13.466 --> 00:02:14.934 -[smoke alarm blares] -[Bridget exclaiming] 25 00:02:14.968 --> 00:02:16.569 [smoke alarm] Please enter alarm code. 26 00:02:16.603 --> 00:02:18.371 [Bridget] Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck! 27 00:02:18.405 --> 00:02:20.473 -Please enter alarm code. -No! Don't put the flames out. 28 00:02:20.507 --> 00:02:22.509 -We can toast marshmallows. -Please enter alarm code. 29 00:02:22.542 --> 00:02:24.377 Please-- 30 00:02:24.411 --> 00:02:25.945 [gasps, sighs] 31 00:02:29.949 --> 00:02:30.784 [sighs] 32 00:02:30.817 --> 00:02:34.854 The tension of our bodies, 33 00:02:35.955 --> 00:02:38.258 -the scars of-- -[phone ringing] 34 00:02:38.291 --> 00:02:39.826 [automated phone voice] Hello, Moto. 35 00:02:43.863 --> 00:02:45.665 [woman] ...in-- in our longing. 36 00:02:45.699 --> 00:02:47.267 Bridget Jones, always exciting. 37 00:02:47.300 --> 00:02:49.803 -How's the skirt? -Daniel, hi. [sighs] 38 00:02:49.836 --> 00:02:52.305 Just checking you have indeed forgotten about tonight. 39 00:02:52.339 --> 00:02:55.842 That is hurtful, Jones. I have absolutely not forgotten. 40 00:02:55.875 --> 00:02:57.644 -[audience shushes] -No. 41 00:02:57.677 --> 00:02:59.746 I'm so sorry. It's my mother. 42 00:02:59.779 --> 00:03:01.748 -She's in the hospital. -[audience member] Oh. 43 00:03:01.781 --> 00:03:03.950 -Primordial sweat. -I will be there 44 00:03:03.983 --> 00:03:06.653 quicker than it took me to bring you to earth-shattering orgasm, 45 00:03:06.686 --> 00:03:08.421 you filthy little harlot. 46 00:03:08.455 --> 00:03:10.990 [audience murmuring] 47 00:03:13.727 --> 00:03:14.861 Love you, Mummy. 48 00:03:16.429 --> 00:03:17.530 "Mummy"? 49 00:03:17.564 --> 00:03:18.965 Darling, clever Geminita. 50 00:03:18.998 --> 00:03:21.701 I'm gonna have to rush. It's a family emergency. 51 00:03:21.735 --> 00:03:23.703 But I am loving this one. 52 00:03:23.737 --> 00:03:25.572 I think-- I think we all are, aren't we? 53 00:03:25.605 --> 00:03:27.340 Call me later, yeah? 54 00:03:28.708 --> 00:03:29.776 Oh, yeah. 55 00:03:29.809 --> 00:03:32.579 I am imminent, Jones. Imminent. 56 00:03:32.612 --> 00:03:34.280 Un-bunch those giant panties. 57 00:03:42.489 --> 00:03:43.957 [Bridget groans] 58 00:03:43.990 --> 00:03:45.725 [Bridget] Bloody zip manufacturers should be 59 00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:47.861 cancelled for sociological bias. 60 00:03:47.894 --> 00:03:51.598 It is actually impossible to do this on your own. 61 00:03:51.631 --> 00:03:54.434 [sighs] Help. 62 00:03:59.506 --> 00:04:01.541 -Ooh. Thank you, monkeys. -[horn honks] 63 00:04:01.574 --> 00:04:02.909 Uncle Daniel! 64 00:04:02.942 --> 00:04:04.477 Miniature Darcy, what's the news? 65 00:04:04.511 --> 00:04:06.012 [Billy] Where are the ladies with the big-- 66 00:04:06.046 --> 00:04:07.947 [Daniel] Hair? They couldn't make it, sadly. 67 00:04:07.981 --> 00:04:09.749 They're, um... They're washing their hair. 68 00:04:09.783 --> 00:04:11.384 All three? 69 00:04:11.418 --> 00:04:12.952 Yeah, well, they wash each other's, you see. 70 00:04:12.986 --> 00:04:15.655 I thought you said no more models. 71 00:04:15.689 --> 00:04:17.490 Geminita is not a model, Jones. 72 00:04:17.524 --> 00:04:19.459 She is a poet and a healer, 73 00:04:19.492 --> 00:04:20.627 and a model. 74 00:04:20.660 --> 00:04:21.795 Come here. 75 00:04:23.530 --> 00:04:24.764 Hell of a night for you. 76 00:04:24.798 --> 00:04:27.701 Ugh, I can't go. The children need me. 77 00:04:27.734 --> 00:04:29.102 Uncle Daniel! 78 00:04:29.135 --> 00:04:30.904 You. Right. 79 00:04:30.937 --> 00:04:33.440 Get a fork and some syrup. I'm gonna style you. 80 00:04:33.473 --> 00:04:35.975 -[Billy] I found the cards. -[Daniel] Very good. Excellent. 81 00:04:36.009 --> 00:04:40.046 Now then, we need to work on your bluffing and your cheating. 82 00:04:58.765 --> 00:05:01.468 [Bridget] Life has its white notes... 83 00:05:04.738 --> 00:05:07.874 and life has its black notes. 84 00:05:11.044 --> 00:05:13.947 You look very beautiful tonight, Mrs Darcy. 85 00:05:13.980 --> 00:05:17.350 Not looking so bad yourself, Mr Darcy. 86 00:05:21.554 --> 00:05:23.390 [doorbell rings] 87 00:05:32.632 --> 00:05:34.000 Bridget. 88 00:05:34.034 --> 00:05:36.069 [Bridget] Very black notes. 89 00:05:36.102 --> 00:05:38.972 Jolly good. Come in. Weather's been a bit shitty, hasn't it? 90 00:05:39.005 --> 00:05:40.573 -Though the cricket this year has been... -Jeremy. 91 00:05:40.607 --> 00:05:43.109 ...absolutely phenomenal. 92 00:05:45.111 --> 00:05:46.980 [Bridget] This is what happened. 93 00:05:47.013 --> 00:05:49.683 Mark Darcy, my husband, 94 00:05:49.716 --> 00:05:51.818 father to Billy and Mabel, 95 00:05:51.851 --> 00:05:53.687 died. 96 00:05:53.720 --> 00:05:55.989 Or rather, was killed 97 00:05:56.022 --> 00:05:59.426 in the Sudan on a humanitarian mission. 98 00:06:00.760 --> 00:06:03.630 -Everybody's just upstairs. -Thanks. 99 00:06:03.663 --> 00:06:06.666 [Bridget] And that was four years ago. Today, actually. 100 00:06:08.168 --> 00:06:11.037 Brace yourself. It's a total fucking shit show. 101 00:06:11.071 --> 00:06:16.743 [Bridget] And even though there might be 600,000 words in the human language, 102 00:06:16.776 --> 00:06:20.013 the world still struggles to find the right ones 103 00:06:20.046 --> 00:06:22.949 when someone you love is gone. 104 00:06:22.982 --> 00:06:24.751 Bridget, how are the children? 105 00:06:24.784 --> 00:06:26.019 -[woman] Mmm. -Are they-- 106 00:06:26.052 --> 00:06:27.921 Are they all right without you there? 107 00:06:27.954 --> 00:06:30.990 -[guests murmuring] -No. It's fine. 108 00:06:31.024 --> 00:06:34.060 Left them some crystal meth in the kitchen. 109 00:06:36.096 --> 00:06:37.764 [Bridget] Maybe not. 110 00:06:37.797 --> 00:06:39.866 Well, we don't make a thing about it. 111 00:06:39.899 --> 00:06:41.935 We celebrate Mark's birthday instead. 112 00:06:41.968 --> 00:06:43.069 [guests] Oh. 113 00:06:43.103 --> 00:06:45.505 So, Bridget, still on your own? 114 00:06:45.538 --> 00:06:47.140 [man] It's been four years now. 115 00:06:47.173 --> 00:06:49.709 You're still in pretty good nick. Why no chap? 116 00:06:49.743 --> 00:06:52.912 Now, now. It's not Bridget's fault. Very hard, being a middle-aged woman 117 00:06:52.946 --> 00:06:54.547 -and finding yourself single. -[guests] Mmm. 118 00:06:54.581 --> 00:06:57.951 Better if you're a bloke. Look at Binko Carruthers. 119 00:06:57.984 --> 00:06:59.552 He's no oil painting, 120 00:06:59.586 --> 00:07:02.722 but the second Rosemary died, he was inundated. 121 00:07:02.756 --> 00:07:06.559 Of course, they were all of a certain age, though, weren't they? 122 00:07:06.593 --> 00:07:08.695 Sorry, do you realise you said that out loud? 123 00:07:08.728 --> 00:07:11.064 -[laughs] -Hmm? 124 00:07:11.097 --> 00:07:14.100 "A certain age"? What, do you mean our age? 125 00:07:14.134 --> 00:07:16.202 -That is the most... -[Bridget] Shazzer now hosts 126 00:07:16.236 --> 00:07:17.804 a podcast calledFed Up, 127 00:07:17.837 --> 00:07:19.606 in which she has dinner with minor celebrities 128 00:07:19.639 --> 00:07:22.142 while basically getting furious about everything. 129 00:07:22.175 --> 00:07:24.210 ...sexist fucking universe we, unbelievably, 130 00:07:24.244 --> 00:07:27.047 still continue to fucking inhabit. 131 00:07:29.582 --> 00:07:30.483 [mouthing word] 132 00:07:31.951 --> 00:07:33.687 I need to go to the toilet. 133 00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:35.121 [guests] Oh. 134 00:07:36.122 --> 00:07:37.190 [woman] Oh, dear. 135 00:07:39.125 --> 00:07:41.261 Yeah, Jude. Yeah, I'm with her now. 136 00:07:41.294 --> 00:07:43.997 [Jude] Well, Shaz, tell her to come to The Golden Cock. 137 00:07:44.030 --> 00:07:47.300 No, no, no. The party. It's for Mark. 138 00:07:47.334 --> 00:07:49.969 That's not a party. That's a fucking bin fire. 139 00:07:50.003 --> 00:07:52.839 And you think that Mark would want you to stay here and be insulted 140 00:07:52.872 --> 00:07:55.108 in the fucking sexism Olympics? 141 00:07:55.141 --> 00:07:57.010 [Bridget's friends] To Mark. 142 00:07:57.043 --> 00:07:58.244 -And to Bridget... -[Bridget] Aw. 143 00:07:58.278 --> 00:07:59.746 ...and the rare pleasure of seeing you 144 00:07:59.779 --> 00:08:01.247 -in something not made of terry towelling. 145 00:08:01.281 --> 00:08:03.283 -[Shaz laughs] -[Bridget] Tom, still living 146 00:08:03.316 --> 00:08:05.919 handsomely off his one hit single 147 00:08:05.952 --> 00:08:10.290 which had a comeback recently in a 30-second video of a dog doing maths. 148 00:08:10.323 --> 00:08:13.226 Now, of all things, a life coach. 149 00:08:13.259 --> 00:08:15.995 Honestly, I'd say it was a bit of a breakthrough, 150 00:08:16.029 --> 00:08:18.164 speaking as your psychologist. 151 00:08:18.198 --> 00:08:19.933 [laughs] You're not my psychologist. 152 00:08:19.966 --> 00:08:21.801 Well, I should be, yes. 153 00:08:21.835 --> 00:08:23.570 According to the classic model, 154 00:08:23.603 --> 00:08:25.772 you've actually made it to the fourth stage 155 00:08:25.805 --> 00:08:29.609 -of the five stages of grief. -Wait. Isn't it seven stages? 156 00:08:29.642 --> 00:08:32.145 What are you talking about, Jude? No, it isn't. It's five stages. 157 00:08:32.178 --> 00:08:34.180 -Isn't it five? -Well, I always thought it was four. 158 00:08:34.214 --> 00:08:35.815 [Jude] It's definitely seven. 159 00:08:35.849 --> 00:08:38.151 [Bridget] Jude, now CEO or COO 160 00:08:38.184 --> 00:08:40.987 or CTO, definitely a C-something-O, 161 00:08:41.021 --> 00:08:44.624 still regularly calling, in tears, from executive bathroom. 162 00:08:44.657 --> 00:08:48.028 So, um, only one stage to go now, Bridge. 163 00:08:48.061 --> 00:08:50.330 -[Bridget] Oh. -[clears throat] Stage five. 164 00:08:50.363 --> 00:08:52.932 It's acceptance, which basically means 165 00:08:52.966 --> 00:08:56.169 -you just have to get laid. -Oh, my God. Shazzer's right. 166 00:08:56.202 --> 00:08:59.239 Yes. I mean, honestly, darling, look at yourself. 167 00:08:59.272 --> 00:09:01.641 You've become a born-again virgin. 168 00:09:01.675 --> 00:09:05.045 If you don't get laid soon, your vagina will literally reseal itself. 169 00:09:05.078 --> 00:09:07.047 [Shaz] Yeah, and that is a thing. 170 00:09:07.080 --> 00:09:10.316 It's called labial adhesion. 171 00:09:10.350 --> 00:09:11.985 [Bridget] Oh, my God! 172 00:09:12.018 --> 00:09:15.188 I knew leaving the kitchen was a mistake. 173 00:09:15.221 --> 00:09:16.990 I don't want anyone else. 174 00:09:17.023 --> 00:09:18.725 And even if I did, which I don't, 175 00:09:18.758 --> 00:09:21.928 I'm non-viable, completely asexual, 176 00:09:21.961 --> 00:09:24.030 and nobody will ever fancy me again. 177 00:09:24.064 --> 00:09:25.799 -Ever, ever, ever. -No. No, no, no. 178 00:09:25.832 --> 00:09:27.701 And I'm going to the toilet. 179 00:09:29.202 --> 00:09:31.004 Crash and burn. That was a disaster. 180 00:09:31.037 --> 00:09:32.205 Well, that was a fucking disaster. 181 00:09:32.238 --> 00:09:35.642 [Bridget yawns] 182 00:09:36.409 --> 00:09:38.778 Crikey. Have we been burgled? 183 00:09:38.812 --> 00:09:41.014 [Daniel] We have not been burgled, Jones. No. 184 00:09:41.047 --> 00:09:43.283 We have been marvellous. Now, tell me this. 185 00:09:43.316 --> 00:09:47.821 For Tonya, do we think a kitten heel or a chunky wedge? 186 00:09:47.854 --> 00:09:48.822 She's going to Wimbledon. 187 00:09:48.855 --> 00:09:50.690 Wedge, obviously. 188 00:09:50.724 --> 00:09:52.325 You may be right. 189 00:09:52.359 --> 00:09:54.828 How was it? Any fun? Any tongue? 190 00:09:54.861 --> 00:09:58.965 Ugh. God. No tongue. I have hung up my tongue. 191 00:09:58.998 --> 00:10:00.767 How were they? 192 00:10:00.800 --> 00:10:02.335 Well, the girl is you. 193 00:10:02.369 --> 00:10:06.706 Lawless, romantic, irresistibly drawn to me. 194 00:10:06.740 --> 00:10:08.708 Asked me if I was going to be her new daddy. 195 00:10:08.742 --> 00:10:10.243 She does that. 196 00:10:10.276 --> 00:10:13.680 Yeah. Wouldn't go to bed until I'd married her rabbit. 197 00:10:13.713 --> 00:10:16.016 -Hmm. -[Daniel] Which I was very happy to do. 198 00:10:16.049 --> 00:10:17.984 That rabbit is not at all unfanciable. 199 00:10:18.018 --> 00:10:19.386 [Bridget] Hmm. And Billy? 200 00:10:19.419 --> 00:10:21.955 Well, Billy is Darcy, isn't he? 201 00:10:21.988 --> 00:10:24.357 Still waters and all that. 202 00:10:24.391 --> 00:10:26.726 As it happens, Jones, your son 203 00:10:26.760 --> 00:10:29.062 and I have a number of shared interests. 204 00:10:29.095 --> 00:10:31.398 Oh, God. Like what? 205 00:10:31.431 --> 00:10:32.766 Models. 206 00:10:32.799 --> 00:10:34.768 He showed me his, I showed him mine. 207 00:10:34.801 --> 00:10:37.704 -Hmm. -And then we-- we talked about death. 208 00:10:37.737 --> 00:10:38.738 Did you? 209 00:10:38.772 --> 00:10:40.774 [Daniel] Yeah. I told him being dead was shit. 210 00:10:40.807 --> 00:10:43.176 And that I should know because I was for a bit. 211 00:10:43.209 --> 00:10:44.844 And then, uh... [sighs] 212 00:10:44.878 --> 00:10:47.781 I gave him a hug 'cause he seemed a bit sad. 213 00:10:47.814 --> 00:10:50.450 And then that made me sad because... [sighs] 214 00:10:50.483 --> 00:10:52.152 -[Bridget] How is your boy? -[groans] 215 00:10:52.185 --> 00:10:54.254 Enzo's, what? He's... 216 00:10:54.287 --> 00:10:56.356 Uh, fuck knows, Jones. Fifteen, I think. 217 00:10:56.389 --> 00:11:01.294 Anyway, we then cheered ourselves up by digging out the cocktail shaker, 218 00:11:01.327 --> 00:11:03.263 and I taught him how to make a Dirty Bitch. 219 00:11:03.296 --> 00:11:04.864 Saved it for you. It's in the fridge. 220 00:11:04.898 --> 00:11:07.200 -Goody. Have it for breakfast. -[phone rings] 221 00:11:07.233 --> 00:11:09.302 Yeah, hello, hello, hello, hello. 222 00:11:09.336 --> 00:11:10.904 Geminita. 223 00:11:10.937 --> 00:11:13.206 Yeah, we're all done. All done. I'm on my way. 224 00:11:14.374 --> 00:11:16.242 Well, as quick as I can. 225 00:11:16.276 --> 00:11:20.013 Yes, like naughty old moth to eager young flame. 226 00:11:20.046 --> 00:11:22.482 No, you hang up first. 227 00:11:23.483 --> 00:11:25.318 And-- OK, kiss you back. 228 00:11:25.352 --> 00:11:26.886 -[laughs] -[Daniel sighs] 229 00:11:26.920 --> 00:11:29.189 [stammers] Yeah, OK. Louder. Yeah. [kisses] 230 00:11:29.222 --> 00:11:31.057 -Oh, my God. -[phone closes] 231 00:11:31.091 --> 00:11:34.160 [laughing] 232 00:11:34.194 --> 00:11:36.496 Fuck off, Jones. OK, they're asleep. 233 00:11:36.529 --> 00:11:38.932 Um... [sighs] ...it did take a bit of time. 234 00:11:38.965 --> 00:11:41.067 But I-- Actually I showed them a video of Geminita 235 00:11:41.101 --> 00:11:43.970 reciting one of her prose poems and they were out like a light. 236 00:11:44.004 --> 00:11:45.271 [scoffs] 237 00:11:46.840 --> 00:11:47.807 All right. 238 00:11:48.975 --> 00:11:52.212 [sighs] What happens now? 239 00:11:52.245 --> 00:11:55.081 I'm trying to remember how it worked with our babysitters. 240 00:11:55.115 --> 00:11:58.952 I think you give me 20 quid and try and shag me, don't you? 241 00:11:58.985 --> 00:12:02.255 [Bridget] Ah, Daniel, dear Daniel. 242 00:12:02.288 --> 00:12:04.991 At least some things never change. 243 00:12:05.025 --> 00:12:08.361 It makes me sad though, Jones. You know... 244 00:12:08.395 --> 00:12:13.433 two children and you all alone and effectively a nun. 245 00:12:13.466 --> 00:12:16.803 Albeit, of course, a very, very naughty nun. 246 00:12:22.175 --> 00:12:23.243 Bye, Daniel. 247 00:12:23.276 --> 00:12:24.411 Yeah. 248 00:12:25.345 --> 00:12:26.946 Thanks for tonight. 249 00:12:26.980 --> 00:12:28.014 Yeah. 250 00:12:32.852 --> 00:12:35.522 [Bridget] Why are these lights still on? 251 00:12:35.555 --> 00:12:37.857 I thought you two were asleep. 252 00:12:38.625 --> 00:12:41.261 Do you miss Dada sometimes? 253 00:12:41.294 --> 00:12:43.396 I miss him all of the times. 254 00:12:43.430 --> 00:12:44.531 [Mabel gasps] 255 00:12:48.435 --> 00:12:51.237 [gasps] There's my owl. 256 00:12:51.271 --> 00:12:53.139 [Bridget] Back to bed. Come on. 257 00:12:53.173 --> 00:12:55.408 -Story, Mama? -[Bridget] Mm-hmm. 258 00:13:00.647 --> 00:13:06.553 For the baby princess is as kind as she is fair. 259 00:13:06.586 --> 00:13:13.426 And the baby prince is as gentle as he is handsome. 260 00:13:13.460 --> 00:13:17.597 And wherever they go and whatever they do, 261 00:13:17.630 --> 00:13:21.301 Mummy and Daddy will always love them. 262 00:13:21.334 --> 00:13:26.006 -And Saliva. -[laughs, coughs] 263 00:13:26.039 --> 00:13:29.142 She stinks, Mabes. 264 00:13:29.175 --> 00:13:31.211 -[Mabel chuckles] -Oh! 265 00:13:31.244 --> 00:13:32.946 [chuckles] 266 00:13:38.084 --> 00:13:39.986 -Good night, darling. -Good night, Mama. 267 00:13:46.993 --> 00:13:47.994 Good night. 268 00:13:50.230 --> 00:13:51.498 [Billy] And all the thoughts... 269 00:13:54.968 --> 00:13:58.071 And all the thoughts are going away. 270 00:13:58.104 --> 00:14:02.475 They don't need little Billy and Mabel tonight. 271 00:14:02.509 --> 00:14:05.912 The world will turn without them. 272 00:14:05.945 --> 00:14:09.015 [Bridget and Mark] The stars will shine without them. 273 00:14:09.049 --> 00:14:15.422 And all little Billy and Mabel need to do is rest and sleep. 274 00:14:17.123 --> 00:14:18.391 Good night. 275 00:14:19.292 --> 00:14:20.193 Night. 276 00:14:25.432 --> 00:14:26.966 [Mark] Good night, Billy. 277 00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:29.669 -Do the song, Daddy. Please. -[Mark] OK. 278 00:14:29.703 --> 00:14:35.075 * I'll do anything For you, dear* 279 00:14:35.108 --> 00:14:36.576 * Anything* 280 00:14:36.609 --> 00:14:41.548 * For you mean everything To me* 281 00:14:41.581 --> 00:14:45.085 [Netflix start-up sound playing] 282 00:14:45.118 --> 00:14:46.386 [clicks] 283 00:14:46.419 --> 00:14:49.489 All by myself 47. 284 00:14:52.025 --> 00:14:52.959 Shitballs. 285 00:14:54.494 --> 00:14:59.032 No. Cock-bollocking fuck-bubbles! 286 00:15:01.034 --> 00:15:02.669 [Bridget growls] 287 00:15:02.702 --> 00:15:05.138 [Bridget] Literally everyone else in the whole country 288 00:15:05.171 --> 00:15:07.507 is laughing uproariously with their partners 289 00:15:07.540 --> 00:15:10.410 while watching Netflix and having sex. 290 00:15:10.443 --> 00:15:12.712 You don't want to wallow in it, darling. 291 00:15:12.746 --> 00:15:15.281 [Bridget] And there they are again. 292 00:15:15.315 --> 00:15:18.351 All the voices, all the advice. 293 00:15:18.385 --> 00:15:20.353 You gotta wallow in it, Bridge. Wallow. 294 00:15:20.387 --> 00:15:24.424 Grieve. G-R-E-I-V-E. 295 00:15:24.457 --> 00:15:27.761 [laughing] It's I-E. It's not E-I. 296 00:15:27.794 --> 00:15:31.431 No, it's, "I before E except after C." 297 00:15:31.464 --> 00:15:33.033 Yes, exactly. 298 00:15:33.066 --> 00:15:36.302 God, you really are such a T-W-T-A. 299 00:15:36.336 --> 00:15:37.737 -[Tom] A what? -[Shaz laughs] 300 00:15:37.771 --> 00:15:39.639 [Bridget] The thing about advice is, 301 00:15:39.673 --> 00:15:43.510 no one tells you the same thing twice. 302 00:15:43.543 --> 00:15:46.646 Bridget, you've got to put the children first. 303 00:15:46.680 --> 00:15:50.383 [Bridget] Uh-huh. Thank you, Magda. Yes. 304 00:15:50.417 --> 00:15:53.219 Put the children first. 305 00:15:53.253 --> 00:15:54.454 Sod the children. 306 00:15:54.487 --> 00:15:57.424 Put your own oxygen mask on first. 307 00:15:57.457 --> 00:16:00.326 [Bridget] Right. Oxygen mask. 308 00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:01.594 Got it. 309 00:16:01.628 --> 00:16:03.530 One thing's for certain, Bridge. 310 00:16:03.563 --> 00:16:06.166 Forget about sex. [hiccups] Oh. 311 00:16:06.199 --> 00:16:07.734 [Bridget] OK. 312 00:16:07.767 --> 00:16:09.602 No sex. 313 00:16:09.636 --> 00:16:11.604 You need to have a lot of sex. 314 00:16:11.638 --> 00:16:14.774 Yeah. Why don't you come back to work? 315 00:16:14.808 --> 00:16:18.778 [Bridget] Thank you, Richard. I'll bear that in mind. 316 00:16:31.524 --> 00:16:34.527 But as my dad said just before he died, 317 00:16:34.561 --> 00:16:37.464 the big question is... 318 00:16:37.497 --> 00:16:39.532 Can you survive? 319 00:16:42.435 --> 00:16:43.536 I think so. 320 00:16:44.604 --> 00:16:45.805 I have to. 321 00:16:48.141 --> 00:16:49.142 I'm trying. 322 00:16:52.345 --> 00:16:54.814 It's not enough to survive. You've got to live. 323 00:16:56.516 --> 00:16:58.351 Is that the Dalai Lama? 324 00:16:59.686 --> 00:17:01.254 It's Harry Styles, I think. 325 00:17:01.287 --> 00:17:02.689 -[door opens] -[Bridget's mother] Colin. 326 00:17:02.722 --> 00:17:05.392 -Is that a sausage? -What sausage? 327 00:17:05.425 --> 00:17:09.195 Bridget, you know what the doctor said about saturated fats. 328 00:17:09.229 --> 00:17:13.299 Pam, could you take a photograph of us? Me and Bridget. 329 00:17:17.137 --> 00:17:18.104 Um... 330 00:17:20.173 --> 00:17:22.709 Colin, try not to do that with your chin. 331 00:17:22.742 --> 00:17:24.644 I'm not doing anything with my chin. 332 00:17:29.449 --> 00:17:31.584 Promise me you'll live, Bridget. 333 00:17:33.453 --> 00:17:35.188 Smile! 334 00:17:41.728 --> 00:17:43.263 [shutter clicks] 335 00:18:05.885 --> 00:18:08.855 [sighs] 336 00:18:27.407 --> 00:18:30.643 ["Modern Love" playing] 337 00:18:35.715 --> 00:18:39.285 [Bridget] Bridget Jones, it's time to live. 338 00:18:41.988 --> 00:18:43.690 * I know when to go out* 339 00:18:44.891 --> 00:18:46.292 * Know when to stay in* 340 00:18:47.427 --> 00:18:48.862 * Get things done* 341 00:18:52.699 --> 00:18:55.368 * I catch a paper boy* 342 00:18:55.402 --> 00:18:58.538 * But things Don't really change* 343 00:18:58.571 --> 00:19:00.740 * I'm standing in the wind* 344 00:19:00.774 --> 00:19:03.443 * But I never wave bye-bye* 345 00:19:04.411 --> 00:19:05.378 [yawns] 346 00:19:06.546 --> 00:19:08.448 * But I try* 347 00:19:09.516 --> 00:19:11.217 * I try* 348 00:19:14.921 --> 00:19:15.855 * Never gonna fall for* 349 00:19:15.889 --> 00:19:16.923 * Modern love* 350 00:19:16.956 --> 00:19:18.692 * Walks beside me* 351 00:19:18.725 --> 00:19:19.793 * Modern love* 352 00:19:19.826 --> 00:19:21.394 * Walks on by* 353 00:19:21.428 --> 00:19:22.495 * Modern love* 354 00:19:22.529 --> 00:19:23.596 * Gets me to* 355 00:19:23.630 --> 00:19:26.599 * The church on time* 356 00:19:26.633 --> 00:19:27.801 * Church on time* 357 00:19:27.834 --> 00:19:29.502 * Terrifies me* 358 00:19:29.536 --> 00:19:30.537 * Church on time* 359 00:19:30.570 --> 00:19:31.738 * Makes me party* 360 00:19:31.771 --> 00:19:33.273 * Church on time* 361 00:19:33.306 --> 00:19:36.876 * Puts my trust in God and man* 362 00:19:36.910 --> 00:19:38.411 * God and man* 363 00:19:38.445 --> 00:19:39.612 * No confession* 364 00:19:39.646 --> 00:19:40.814 * God and man* 365 00:19:40.847 --> 00:19:42.415 * No religion* 366 00:19:42.449 --> 00:19:43.750 * God and man* 367 00:19:43.783 --> 00:19:47.420 * Don't believe in modern love* 368 00:20:22.889 --> 00:20:25.725 * It's not really work* 369 00:20:25.759 --> 00:20:27.827 * It's just the power to charm* 370 00:20:27.861 --> 00:20:30.697 * I'm still standing in The wind* 371 00:20:30.730 --> 00:20:33.566 * But I never wave bye-bye* 372 00:20:36.369 --> 00:20:38.405 * But I try* 373 00:20:39.572 --> 00:20:41.007 * I try* 374 00:20:43.910 --> 00:20:44.944 * Never gonna fall for* 375 00:20:44.978 --> 00:20:46.613 * Modern love* 376 00:20:46.646 --> 00:20:47.847 * Walks beside me* 377 00:20:47.881 --> 00:20:49.349 * Modern love* 378 00:20:49.382 --> 00:20:50.483 * Walks on by* 379 00:20:50.517 --> 00:20:51.584 * Modern love* 380 00:20:51.618 --> 00:20:53.653 * Gets me to the church* 381 00:20:53.687 --> 00:20:55.488 * On time* 382 00:20:55.522 --> 00:20:56.856 * Modern love...* 383 00:20:56.890 --> 00:20:58.658 [Bridget] Right. You've got your pencil case, 384 00:20:58.692 --> 00:21:00.527 your lunch, your homework? 385 00:21:00.560 --> 00:21:01.928 -Your keys? -[Bridget] Ooh. 386 00:21:01.961 --> 00:21:04.030 -[Mabel blows recorder] -Well, 387 00:21:04.064 --> 00:21:06.866 you've definitely got your recorder so that's good. 388 00:21:06.900 --> 00:21:09.502 Your lovely picture of a spaceship. 389 00:21:09.536 --> 00:21:11.438 It's a cat. 390 00:21:12.872 --> 00:21:14.507 Oh, yes. Of course it is, darling. 391 00:21:14.541 --> 00:21:15.809 What paints did you use? 392 00:21:15.842 --> 00:21:18.712 I used the lipsticks with the C's on them. 393 00:21:18.745 --> 00:21:20.480 -Oh. So creative. -Handbag? 394 00:21:20.513 --> 00:21:21.948 Oh, fuck a duck. 395 00:21:21.981 --> 00:21:23.516 [postman] Hello, Billy. 396 00:21:23.550 --> 00:21:24.651 [Billy] Morning. 397 00:21:24.684 --> 00:21:26.453 [postman] Hello, Mabel. 398 00:21:26.486 --> 00:21:27.454 Morning, Bridget. 399 00:21:27.487 --> 00:21:28.555 Hi. 400 00:21:28.588 --> 00:21:29.956 Just the usual crap. 401 00:21:29.989 --> 00:21:32.625 Are you going to be my new daddy? 402 00:21:34.427 --> 00:21:36.663 -[child 1] No, Mum! -[child 2] No! Mum! 403 00:21:36.696 --> 00:21:37.864 When I signed up for having children, 404 00:21:37.897 --> 00:21:39.532 I did not sign up to be ruled by 405 00:21:39.566 --> 00:21:41.468 a gaggle of computer crackheads. 406 00:21:41.501 --> 00:21:42.769 Well, guess what? 407 00:21:42.802 --> 00:21:44.904 I've had you, I've brought you up, 408 00:21:44.938 --> 00:21:47.073 and I've changed my mind! 409 00:21:47.107 --> 00:21:50.810 [children] No! No, no, no! 410 00:21:50.844 --> 00:21:53.813 Don't you touch those or I'll fucking enter you in Squid Game. 411 00:21:53.847 --> 00:21:54.881 Here, darling. 412 00:21:54.914 --> 00:21:56.716 -Come, come. -Mum! 413 00:21:56.750 --> 00:21:58.451 Why don't we ever say hello? 414 00:21:58.485 --> 00:22:01.087 [Bridget] Oh. Important life lesson, darling. 415 00:22:01.121 --> 00:22:03.456 Never meet your heroes. 416 00:22:07.994 --> 00:22:10.997 [Bridget] Starting today, will not set things on fire, 417 00:22:11.031 --> 00:22:15.168 will responsibly reset passwords not to include the word "fuckwit," 418 00:22:15.201 --> 00:22:18.838 and will not be frightened of the school mums... 419 00:22:18.872 --> 00:22:20.473 Hi. 420 00:22:20.507 --> 00:22:23.977 ...in particular, Perfect Nicolette... 421 00:22:24.010 --> 00:22:25.712 [whistle blows] 422 00:22:25.745 --> 00:22:27.881 ...with her perfect twins. 423 00:22:27.914 --> 00:22:29.783 [whistle blowing] 424 00:22:29.816 --> 00:22:32.819 Move the car! There's no parking in front of the school. 425 00:22:32.852 --> 00:22:34.654 -How are you? -What? 426 00:22:34.688 --> 00:22:36.823 I-I thought you were in LA. 427 00:22:36.856 --> 00:22:39.993 -Right. -Mr Walliker? 428 00:22:40.026 --> 00:22:43.029 Mr Walliker, Eros tells me he hasn't been selected for the choir for some reason. 429 00:22:43.063 --> 00:22:45.065 -Correct. -Well, how can that be? 430 00:22:45.098 --> 00:22:47.567 Because he can't sing. Anything else, Mrs Soltani-Watkins? 431 00:22:47.600 --> 00:22:50.570 Mr Walliker, if you have failed to recognise Eros's obvious talents, 432 00:22:50.603 --> 00:22:52.472 -that's hardly his fault. -It's really quite simple. 433 00:22:52.505 --> 00:22:55.075 The choir, like everything else in nature, is chosen on merit. 434 00:22:55.108 --> 00:22:57.477 Yeah, natural selection. 435 00:22:57.510 --> 00:22:59.879 If Eros wants to put in the work, he's welcome to audition again. 436 00:22:59.913 --> 00:23:01.881 If you'll excuse me. [blows whistle] Bike! 437 00:23:01.915 --> 00:23:03.683 -Bike! Not there. Not there. -[scoffs] 438 00:23:03.717 --> 00:23:05.051 Who's that? 439 00:23:05.085 --> 00:23:07.153 Oh. New science teacher. Mr Walliker. 440 00:23:07.187 --> 00:23:08.688 [Bridget] Instant hero. 441 00:23:08.722 --> 00:23:10.490 Unbelievably rude. 442 00:23:10.523 --> 00:23:11.758 He's awful. 443 00:23:11.791 --> 00:23:14.127 Move along, please. Right away! 444 00:23:15.595 --> 00:23:18.498 You two! This isn't a stroll on the heath. 445 00:23:18.531 --> 00:23:22.168 You don't see me unfolding deck chairs and unwrapping sandwiches, do you? 446 00:23:22.202 --> 00:23:25.038 Move it inside! It's choir in eight minutes. 447 00:23:25.071 --> 00:23:27.741 Mr Walliker. Hello. 448 00:23:27.774 --> 00:23:29.042 I don't believe we've met. 449 00:23:29.075 --> 00:23:30.610 I'm Billy Darcy's mum. 450 00:23:30.643 --> 00:23:33.113 The boy about to be diagnosed with tinnitus. 451 00:23:33.146 --> 00:23:35.648 The whistle is an essential tool, Mrs Darcy. 452 00:23:35.682 --> 00:23:37.884 Mmm. An essential tool? 453 00:23:37.917 --> 00:23:40.220 What an apt description. [chuckles] 454 00:23:42.022 --> 00:23:44.190 [blows whistle] Eros! Atticus! 455 00:23:44.224 --> 00:23:47.060 If you're late, you will regret it for the rest of your days. 456 00:23:47.093 --> 00:23:48.495 -[Eros, Atticus whimper] -Sorry, sir! 457 00:23:50.563 --> 00:23:52.665 [bell rings] 458 00:23:55.535 --> 00:23:56.236 No! 459 00:23:57.237 --> 00:23:58.838 She'll be back later. 460 00:23:58.872 --> 00:24:00.073 We have a doctor's appointment. 461 00:24:00.106 --> 00:24:01.741 I've got worms! 462 00:24:03.109 --> 00:24:05.111 Why is your granny wearing pyjamas? 463 00:24:06.913 --> 00:24:08.715 [Bridget] That went well. 464 00:24:10.850 --> 00:24:13.586 "G-O-N-O"-- 465 00:24:13.620 --> 00:24:15.221 [Bridget] That's lovely, darling. 466 00:24:15.255 --> 00:24:17.057 -"R-H"... -There you go. 467 00:24:17.090 --> 00:24:18.958 One tablet a day for the entire family, 468 00:24:18.992 --> 00:24:22.195 and if her itching doesn't stop, I suggest you get rid of that cat. 469 00:24:22.228 --> 00:24:24.564 [clears throat] Have you got some help yet? 470 00:24:24.597 --> 00:24:26.599 I know it doesn't look it, but really, 471 00:24:26.633 --> 00:24:29.035 -I've got it all in hand. -No, it doesn't look it. 472 00:24:29.069 --> 00:24:32.272 Apart from anything else, I'm a gynaecologist, not a paediatrician. 473 00:24:32.305 --> 00:24:35.975 And whilst I'm happy to step in, you do take my point. 474 00:24:36.009 --> 00:24:39.713 If you say "oxygen mask" to me again, I will hit you with this handbag. 475 00:24:39.746 --> 00:24:41.047 I am not afraid of handbags. 476 00:24:41.081 --> 00:24:43.183 You need something else to do. 477 00:24:43.216 --> 00:24:45.618 You need a reason to get out of those pyjamas. 478 00:24:45.652 --> 00:24:47.721 Well, fashion's never really been your thing. 479 00:24:47.754 --> 00:24:49.856 -Rude. -Pyjamas are all the rage in Milan. 480 00:24:49.889 --> 00:24:53.193 Bridget, in spite of all objective evidence to the contrary, 481 00:24:53.226 --> 00:24:55.195 you are a bright, talented, brilliant woman. 482 00:24:55.228 --> 00:24:57.731 And my professional advice to you is this. 483 00:24:57.764 --> 00:24:59.032 -You need-- -No. No, no, no. 484 00:24:59.065 --> 00:25:00.700 Please don't tell me to go and have sex. 485 00:25:00.734 --> 00:25:01.935 Oh, good Lord, no. 486 00:25:01.968 --> 00:25:04.070 [scoffs] No. 487 00:25:04.104 --> 00:25:06.606 Read a book. Clean out the kitchen drawers. 488 00:25:06.639 --> 00:25:08.875 Leave the pink bits well enough alone. 489 00:25:08.908 --> 00:25:10.143 You'll be ready when you're ready. 490 00:25:10.176 --> 00:25:12.946 No, my professional advice to you is this: 491 00:25:12.979 --> 00:25:15.281 go back to work. 492 00:25:15.315 --> 00:25:17.050 And how's your love life? 493 00:25:17.817 --> 00:25:19.652 On fire. 494 00:25:19.686 --> 00:25:23.123 "Sy-P-Lis." 495 00:25:26.126 --> 00:25:29.696 -[Bridget] Mmm. -Syphilis. Mabel, Syphilis. 496 00:25:29.729 --> 00:25:30.830 Syphilis. 497 00:25:30.864 --> 00:25:33.099 Mmm. Very good. Very good. 498 00:25:33.133 --> 00:25:36.169 And there's some delicious vegetarian alternatives here too. 499 00:25:36.202 --> 00:25:38.004 [both chuckle] 500 00:25:38.038 --> 00:25:40.807 Floods, fires and famine. 501 00:25:40.840 --> 00:25:43.810 As the world teeters on the edge of climate catastrophe, 502 00:25:43.843 --> 00:25:46.646 sausages aren't the only thing we are grilling today. 503 00:25:46.680 --> 00:25:50.316 Environment Secretary Sarah Givens joins us after the break. 504 00:25:50.350 --> 00:25:53.019 [theme music playing on TV] 505 00:25:53.053 --> 00:25:54.654 [phone rings] 506 00:25:54.688 --> 00:25:55.955 Hi. 507 00:25:55.989 --> 00:25:57.057 Oh, thank God you picked up. 508 00:25:57.090 --> 00:25:59.059 -[spits] -What's the matter? 509 00:25:59.092 --> 00:26:01.661 They've got the bloody Environment Secretary on in 45 seconds 510 00:26:01.695 --> 00:26:04.364 and they've got me asking her questions about bloody tea bags. 511 00:26:04.397 --> 00:26:06.666 "What's the best way to recycle tea bags?" 512 00:26:06.700 --> 00:26:08.702 "Can you clean surfaces with tea"... 513 00:26:08.735 --> 00:26:09.736 I need you, Bridget! 514 00:26:09.769 --> 00:26:11.671 OK. Uh... 515 00:26:11.705 --> 00:26:13.373 Ask her... [gasps] 516 00:26:13.406 --> 00:26:15.742 Ask her why there were no tax breaks for renewable energy 517 00:26:15.775 --> 00:26:17.644 -in last week's budget. -Brilliant. 518 00:26:17.677 --> 00:26:20.180 She'll fob you off with some crap about economic constraints 519 00:26:20.213 --> 00:26:24.284 and then you nail her on oil and gas companies ring-fencing their profits. 520 00:26:24.317 --> 00:26:26.886 -Yes, I do. -[chuckles] She'll flap! 521 00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:30.690 And then you nuke her arse on the government's support for fracking. 522 00:26:30.724 --> 00:26:31.825 [gasps] Ooh. 523 00:26:31.858 --> 00:26:33.760 I fracking love you, Bridget Jones. 524 00:26:33.793 --> 00:26:35.362 -Hi, Bridge. -Yes! 525 00:26:35.395 --> 00:26:39.199 Oh, oh, oh! Do try to find out about the tea bags though. 526 00:26:39.232 --> 00:26:41.167 -Love you. Bye. Bye. -Love you. Bye! [kisses] 527 00:26:43.169 --> 00:26:44.704 Welcome back. 528 00:26:44.738 --> 00:26:46.106 Our next guest is 529 00:26:46.139 --> 00:26:48.241 Environment Secretary Sarah Givens. 530 00:26:48.274 --> 00:26:53.046 Sarah, budget, tax breaks, fracking. 531 00:26:53.079 --> 00:26:55.015 Justify. 532 00:26:55.048 --> 00:26:56.416 And no fob-off! 533 00:26:59.819 --> 00:27:03.056 Could you please put me through to Richard Finch's office? 534 00:27:03.089 --> 00:27:05.158 My name's Bridget Jones. 535 00:27:06.092 --> 00:27:08.428 Yeah. I'll hold. Thanks. 536 00:27:11.765 --> 00:27:12.899 [sighs] 537 00:27:17.203 --> 00:27:18.905 [video game beeps] 538 00:27:24.444 --> 00:27:26.880 Billy, I want to watch SpongeBob. 539 00:27:28.148 --> 00:27:29.482 Billy, come off that, please. 540 00:27:29.516 --> 00:27:31.184 You've had your screen time. 541 00:27:32.085 --> 00:27:33.987 One, two... 542 00:27:34.020 --> 00:27:35.422 But, Mummy, it's Sunday. 543 00:27:35.455 --> 00:27:36.322 No. 544 00:27:36.356 --> 00:27:37.424 Can I watch SpongeBob? 545 00:27:37.457 --> 00:27:40.160 May I watch SpongeBob. 546 00:27:40.193 --> 00:27:41.761 Yes? 547 00:27:41.795 --> 00:27:43.997 No, you've got to say, "may I," not "can I." 548 00:27:44.030 --> 00:27:45.165 May I watch SpongeBob? 549 00:27:45.198 --> 00:27:47.767 -No. -But, Mummy! 550 00:27:47.801 --> 00:27:49.336 No, no, no, no. 551 00:27:49.369 --> 00:27:52.005 No more screens, either of you. 552 00:27:52.038 --> 00:27:54.407 Screens have been proven to shorten attention spans and... 553 00:27:54.441 --> 00:27:56.109 -[phone chimes] -Ooh! 554 00:27:56.142 --> 00:27:57.944 No. 555 00:27:57.977 --> 00:28:00.113 Will you come and practise cricket with me in the garden? 556 00:28:00.146 --> 00:28:02.782 Mummy really needs to work, darling. Why don't you play with Mabel? 557 00:28:02.816 --> 00:28:05.752 She refuses to hit the ball. She says she feels sorry for Ball-y. 558 00:28:05.785 --> 00:28:07.320 Ball-y. 559 00:28:07.354 --> 00:28:08.988 Darling, please go and play cricket with Billy. 560 00:28:09.022 --> 00:28:10.957 I may not! 561 00:28:12.959 --> 00:28:14.260 [video game beeps continue] 562 00:28:19.132 --> 00:28:23.036 Is it too much to ask to get some bloody peace all by my bloody self 563 00:28:23.069 --> 00:28:24.971 for five bloody minutes? 564 00:28:25.005 --> 00:28:26.506 [Billy] Internet's down! 565 00:28:26.539 --> 00:28:28.308 [Mabel] I want to watch SpongeBob. 566 00:28:28.341 --> 00:28:30.477 Tell Billy it's my turn. 567 00:28:30.510 --> 00:28:34.247 -[Billy] Mummy! -I don't want to be a mummy right now. 568 00:28:34.280 --> 00:28:35.949 [Billy] You had it for ages! 569 00:28:35.982 --> 00:28:38.485 [Mabel] I didn't even have it today. It's my turn! 570 00:28:38.518 --> 00:28:40.086 -[Billy] Mummy! -[Bridget screams] 571 00:28:40.120 --> 00:28:41.388 [Billy] There's no Internet! 572 00:28:41.421 --> 00:28:44.224 I just want to sit down 573 00:28:44.257 --> 00:28:48.862 in echoing silence on my own for one moment. 574 00:28:48.895 --> 00:28:51.364 -[Billy] Mummy! Mummy! -Just shut up! 575 00:28:51.398 --> 00:28:52.465 [clamouring stops] 576 00:28:58.938 --> 00:29:00.006 [music playing] 577 00:29:01.474 --> 00:29:03.243 [cartoon character 1] Shark bait! 578 00:29:03.276 --> 00:29:04.477 Come and get it! 579 00:29:04.511 --> 00:29:06.246 -[Billy chuckles] -[chuckles] 580 00:29:06.279 --> 00:29:07.814 [cartoon character 2] Okay. You asked for it! 581 00:29:07.847 --> 00:29:09.082 Miranda? 582 00:29:09.115 --> 00:29:10.383 All right, Bridge? 583 00:29:10.417 --> 00:29:12.585 What're you doing here? 584 00:29:12.619 --> 00:29:15.855 So I was reading the newspaper in Soho House 585 00:29:15.889 --> 00:29:20.126 and it was so, so quiet, you know? 586 00:29:20.160 --> 00:29:22.529 I just miss all this. 587 00:29:22.562 --> 00:29:28.301 Off milk, stuff, clutter, children, life. 588 00:29:28.335 --> 00:29:30.003 Plenty of that here. 589 00:29:30.036 --> 00:29:31.271 You don't have any champagne. 590 00:29:31.304 --> 00:29:33.139 Top tip: 591 00:29:33.173 --> 00:29:36.343 always keep a cold bottle of champagne 592 00:29:36.376 --> 00:29:38.378 in the fridge for emergencies. 593 00:29:39.279 --> 00:29:41.214 That's excellent advice. 594 00:29:41.247 --> 00:29:42.449 Cards on the table, 595 00:29:42.482 --> 00:29:45.952 I'm thinking of unfreezing my eggs. 596 00:29:45.985 --> 00:29:49.089 Apparently, everyone is going to Denmark 597 00:29:49.122 --> 00:29:50.256 to get sperm. 598 00:29:50.290 --> 00:29:51.591 -Oh. -Yeah. 599 00:29:51.624 --> 00:29:54.994 But I want what you have. All of this. 600 00:29:55.028 --> 00:29:59.232 But Soho House and-and Sunday papers and cold champagne-- 601 00:29:59.265 --> 00:30:00.600 You're free, Bridge. 602 00:30:00.633 --> 00:30:03.903 You're liberated from the tyranny of this. 603 00:30:03.937 --> 00:30:07.173 Do you know how many dating apps I use? 604 00:30:07.207 --> 00:30:08.408 Could you look sexy? 605 00:30:08.441 --> 00:30:10.043 Well, I mean... 606 00:30:10.076 --> 00:30:13.446 I might still brush up OK given enough time. 607 00:30:13.480 --> 00:30:14.914 No, I mean for this photo. 608 00:30:14.948 --> 00:30:16.049 [shutter clicks] 609 00:30:16.082 --> 00:30:17.250 I've set you up on Tinder. 610 00:30:17.283 --> 00:30:19.185 -What? -You're welcome. 611 00:30:19.219 --> 00:30:21.454 -Oh, no, no, no, no, no. -Well, I've popped you down as a widow. 612 00:30:21.488 --> 00:30:23.456 It's so much more romantic and singular. 613 00:30:23.490 --> 00:30:26.359 We all agree it's what you need. 614 00:30:26.393 --> 00:30:28.928 [Mabel] What's Tinder? 615 00:30:28.962 --> 00:30:30.196 It's... 616 00:30:30.230 --> 00:30:33.233 such a lovely day. 617 00:30:33.266 --> 00:30:36.936 Who wants to, um, go to the heath? 618 00:30:36.970 --> 00:30:39.239 -No, I don't wanna go! -No, SpongeBob! 619 00:30:39.272 --> 00:30:41.608 Oh, OK. That's no problem. 620 00:30:41.641 --> 00:30:43.109 Uh, sure. 621 00:30:43.143 --> 00:30:44.678 Um, you stay here, 622 00:30:44.711 --> 00:30:50.383 and I'll just, uh, take these chocolate buttons. Ooh! 623 00:30:50.417 --> 00:30:53.620 -Let's go, nutters! -Can't wait! 624 00:30:53.653 --> 00:30:56.089 Children and fresh air and white chocolate buttons. 625 00:30:56.122 --> 00:30:58.591 -I feel like Julie Andrews! -[phone beeps] 626 00:30:58.625 --> 00:31:00.493 Oh! I just got matched with someone. 627 00:31:00.527 --> 00:31:02.228 Sorry, Mabel, could you just get off, actually, 628 00:31:02.262 --> 00:31:03.563 'cause you're killing my back. 629 00:31:03.596 --> 00:31:07.467 Uh, he's on a street corner... in a van. 630 00:31:09.736 --> 00:31:12.372 -He looks like Jason Statham... -Mmm. 631 00:31:12.405 --> 00:31:14.174 ...if you squint. 632 00:31:14.207 --> 00:31:15.508 In a bit, Bridge. 633 00:31:15.542 --> 00:31:17.110 Bye, kids. See you. 634 00:31:17.143 --> 00:31:18.645 -[both] Bye! -Bye. 635 00:31:20.380 --> 00:31:21.481 [makes whooshing noise] 636 00:31:24.317 --> 00:31:28.688 [Bridget] Oh, how everything calms down once you're outside in blue skies 637 00:31:28.722 --> 00:31:32.392 turning the children into biddable lemurs. 638 00:31:32.425 --> 00:31:36.496 Will obviously delete Tinder immediately. 639 00:31:36.529 --> 00:31:38.698 But perhaps a very quick look first. 640 00:31:44.704 --> 00:31:45.672 Keith? 641 00:31:46.573 --> 00:31:48.575 Who are you, Keith? 642 00:31:51.111 --> 00:31:55.415 [gasps] Feel suddenly exposed to whole new world hiding in plain sight 643 00:31:55.448 --> 00:31:57.350 like Narnia through back of wardrobe, 644 00:31:57.384 --> 00:32:00.086 but with lion and witch shagging. 645 00:32:00.120 --> 00:32:02.989 [Billy] Mummy! Mabel's stuck up the tree! 646 00:32:03.023 --> 00:32:05.158 -How'd she get up there? -[Mabel] Mummy! 647 00:32:05.191 --> 00:32:06.192 Coming! 648 00:32:07.460 --> 00:32:08.561 [gasps] 649 00:32:11.031 --> 00:32:11.698 Okay. 650 00:32:11.731 --> 00:32:14.134 No, it's... it's all right. 651 00:32:14.167 --> 00:32:17.137 -[Billy] I can't get down either. -It's all right. I'm here. 652 00:32:18.371 --> 00:32:19.439 Uh. 653 00:32:19.472 --> 00:32:21.441 [Walliker] Billy. Is that you? 654 00:32:21.474 --> 00:32:23.510 Oh, no. It's Mr Walliker. 655 00:32:23.543 --> 00:32:25.478 Everything all right, Mrs Darcy? 656 00:32:25.512 --> 00:32:28.381 [sighs] Yep. Super. 657 00:32:28.415 --> 00:32:30.050 Just climbing a tree. 658 00:32:30.083 --> 00:32:32.052 -I can see that. -[Bridget chuckles] 659 00:32:32.085 --> 00:32:32.752 Having fun? 660 00:32:32.786 --> 00:32:35.221 Yes. Yeah, this is really fun. 661 00:32:35.255 --> 00:32:36.222 [breathes heavily] 662 00:32:37.824 --> 00:32:40.193 -You sure you don't need a hand? -No, no. 663 00:32:40.226 --> 00:32:41.728 As Einstein said, 664 00:32:41.761 --> 00:32:45.231 "What goes up must come down." 665 00:32:45.265 --> 00:32:47.067 -Newton. -Yes. 666 00:32:47.100 --> 00:32:49.202 Newton. [chuckles] 667 00:32:49.235 --> 00:32:50.570 We're going to die! 668 00:32:50.603 --> 00:32:53.206 No, we're not going to die. We're having fun. 669 00:32:53.239 --> 00:32:55.475 [Bridget] We are definitely going to die. 670 00:32:55.508 --> 00:32:57.777 Clearly you've got this nicely in hand. 671 00:32:58.745 --> 00:33:00.714 Look, there's a policeman. 672 00:33:04.351 --> 00:33:05.685 [Bridget] Oh, my God. 673 00:33:05.719 --> 00:33:08.054 I've climbed a magical man tree. 674 00:33:09.122 --> 00:33:10.290 -Are you stuck? -[Mabel] Yes! 675 00:33:10.323 --> 00:33:12.092 No. [chuckles] 676 00:33:12.125 --> 00:33:14.527 -Do they need help? -Apparently not. 677 00:33:16.262 --> 00:33:18.298 So, I'll... I'll be off then. 678 00:33:18.865 --> 00:33:20.066 Bye-bye. 679 00:33:23.370 --> 00:33:25.372 Okay. I'll be off too. 680 00:33:25.405 --> 00:33:27.540 Don't go away. 681 00:33:27.574 --> 00:33:29.642 [Bridget] No, seriously. Don't go away. 682 00:33:29.676 --> 00:33:32.212 Hang on. I'm coming. 683 00:33:33.313 --> 00:33:34.414 [heath ranger] Okay. Coming up. 684 00:33:34.447 --> 00:33:36.216 [straining] 685 00:33:37.250 --> 00:33:38.284 Uh... 686 00:33:38.318 --> 00:33:40.120 Hello. 687 00:33:40.153 --> 00:33:42.055 [heath ranger] Okay, just... Hang on. 688 00:33:43.156 --> 00:33:45.091 -[grunting] -[Bridget strains] 689 00:33:47.227 --> 00:33:48.194 Hello. 690 00:33:48.228 --> 00:33:49.396 Hi, mate. 691 00:33:49.429 --> 00:33:50.697 -Hi, what's your name? -Mabel. 692 00:33:50.730 --> 00:33:52.866 -Mabel. -I can't jump down. 693 00:33:52.899 --> 00:33:53.833 [Mabel chuckles] 694 00:33:53.867 --> 00:33:56.302 Okay. Well, you sit down there. 695 00:33:56.336 --> 00:33:59.172 You get comfy, and I'm gonna go down there and catch you, OK? 696 00:34:00.840 --> 00:34:02.409 -Okay, you ready? -Yeah. 697 00:34:02.442 --> 00:34:04.310 Three, two, one, go! 698 00:34:04.344 --> 00:34:07.280 -[Mabel] I did it! -[heath ranger] I've got you. Well done. 699 00:34:07.313 --> 00:34:08.848 All right, big man. Your turn. 700 00:34:08.882 --> 00:34:11.751 Okay. You got this, mate. There we go. 701 00:34:11.785 --> 00:34:13.153 -Next foot. -[Bridget] That's it, darling. 702 00:34:13.186 --> 00:34:15.422 [heath ranger] And I've got you. [grunts] 703 00:34:15.455 --> 00:34:17.223 Okay, Mum. 704 00:34:17.257 --> 00:34:18.525 -Okay. -[squeals] 705 00:34:18.558 --> 00:34:19.659 There we go. [chuckles] 706 00:34:19.693 --> 00:34:21.294 -Okay. -Okay. 707 00:34:21.327 --> 00:34:22.295 -[chuckles] -[grunts] 708 00:34:23.563 --> 00:34:25.198 -You all right? -[chuckling] Yes. 709 00:34:26.199 --> 00:34:27.600 Yes. [chuckles] 710 00:34:28.368 --> 00:34:29.602 Okay. 711 00:34:30.603 --> 00:34:31.604 Thank you. 712 00:34:33.573 --> 00:34:35.175 Thank you. 713 00:34:35.208 --> 00:34:35.875 It's all right. 714 00:34:37.677 --> 00:34:40.313 Uh, I'm Roxby. But you can call me Roxster. 715 00:34:41.414 --> 00:34:42.515 Bridget Jones. 716 00:34:42.549 --> 00:34:44.284 But you can call her Mummy. 717 00:34:44.317 --> 00:34:46.353 Hmm. Okay. 718 00:34:47.220 --> 00:34:48.188 [Roxster] Oh. 719 00:34:49.756 --> 00:34:50.857 I think this is yours. 720 00:34:53.493 --> 00:34:54.627 Thanks. 721 00:34:56.529 --> 00:34:57.864 Anything else I can help with? 722 00:34:57.897 --> 00:34:59.332 [Bridget] God, yes. 723 00:34:59.366 --> 00:35:00.367 No. 724 00:35:01.401 --> 00:35:02.802 Okay. 725 00:35:02.836 --> 00:35:05.205 It's nice to meet you, Roxy. [chuckles] 726 00:35:05.772 --> 00:35:06.906 It's Roxster. 727 00:35:07.640 --> 00:35:09.342 [both chuckle] 728 00:35:09.376 --> 00:35:11.911 You too, Bridget Jones. 729 00:35:18.385 --> 00:35:21.254 [Bridget] Now obsessed with tree-rescuing Adonis 730 00:35:21.287 --> 00:35:25.592 and reentering world of flirting simultaneously with workforce. 731 00:35:25.625 --> 00:35:28.561 -Mrs Darcy. -Mr Walliker. 732 00:35:28.595 --> 00:35:32.365 Weapon at the ready, I see. [chuckles] 733 00:35:32.399 --> 00:35:35.669 Good to see you managed to extricate yourself from that tree. 734 00:35:35.702 --> 00:35:38.238 Oh, yes. It's the children's favourite game. 735 00:35:38.271 --> 00:35:42.342 We're completely obsessed with the outdoors in our house. [chuckles] 736 00:35:42.375 --> 00:35:45.311 Well, I'll have to put you down for our Outward Bound trip next term. 737 00:35:45.345 --> 00:35:46.780 Sounds like it'd be right up your street. 738 00:35:46.813 --> 00:35:48.448 [Bridget] Fucking fuck. 739 00:35:48.481 --> 00:35:50.517 Yeah. Good. 740 00:35:50.550 --> 00:35:53.353 Do you have my slime? I promised I'd show Cosmata. 741 00:35:55.355 --> 00:35:56.456 Oh. 742 00:35:58.992 --> 00:36:00.360 [Mabel] Hey, those are mine. 743 00:36:00.393 --> 00:36:01.795 Give them to me. 744 00:36:02.796 --> 00:36:03.930 [Mabel strains] 745 00:36:03.963 --> 00:36:07.400 They are actually hers. 746 00:36:07.434 --> 00:36:08.468 Well, in that case... 747 00:36:11.838 --> 00:36:12.906 [bell rings] 748 00:36:12.939 --> 00:36:14.708 [Perfect Nicolette] Bridget! 749 00:36:14.741 --> 00:36:16.443 You're dressed properly. 750 00:36:17.277 --> 00:36:18.545 Odd. 751 00:36:18.578 --> 00:36:20.413 Heading to a meeting. 752 00:36:20.447 --> 00:36:22.816 Thinking about going back to my old job. 753 00:36:22.849 --> 00:36:25.885 Oh, a job. Oh, I'll put you down for Jobs Day then. 754 00:36:25.919 --> 00:36:27.687 [Bridget] Fucking fuckety fuck fuck. 755 00:36:27.721 --> 00:36:30.023 Yes, absolutely. 756 00:36:30.056 --> 00:36:32.959 [speaking French] Celestine, merci. C'est gentil. 757 00:36:32.992 --> 00:36:35.428 Actually, do you mind tidying this up a little bit? 758 00:36:35.462 --> 00:36:36.930 Sure. 759 00:36:36.963 --> 00:36:38.698 Uh, what about the children? Do you have a nanny? 760 00:36:38.732 --> 00:36:40.033 Not yet. 761 00:36:40.066 --> 00:36:42.769 Oh, I've got the perfect person. She's excellent. 762 00:36:42.802 --> 00:36:44.838 She's very pretty, but that doesn't matter, Bridget, 763 00:36:44.871 --> 00:36:46.906 because you don't have a husband, 764 00:36:46.940 --> 00:36:49.843 so it's absolutely immaterial how pretty and perfect she is. [chuckles] 765 00:36:49.876 --> 00:36:51.978 -Sounds good. -There we go. 766 00:36:52.012 --> 00:36:54.414 -Francesca. -Sorry. 767 00:36:54.447 --> 00:36:55.749 Wonderful. 768 00:36:55.782 --> 00:36:57.851 It's nothing. I just threw it together. 769 00:36:57.884 --> 00:36:59.386 -Ah. -[kisses] 770 00:36:59.419 --> 00:37:01.354 Bridget? Your donation? 771 00:37:01.888 --> 00:37:03.423 You didn't forget? 772 00:37:03.456 --> 00:37:05.925 No. [chuckles] 773 00:37:05.959 --> 00:37:08.862 Certainly not. [chuckles] 774 00:37:08.895 --> 00:37:11.865 Uh, let's see. 775 00:37:11.898 --> 00:37:13.333 Here we are. 776 00:37:14.834 --> 00:37:16.536 Hummus. 777 00:37:16.569 --> 00:37:18.004 And, uh... 778 00:37:23.643 --> 00:37:25.745 [Perfect Nicolette] Rice cakes. 779 00:37:25.779 --> 00:37:29.616 And look, they've even been opened already. 780 00:37:29.649 --> 00:37:30.917 [chuckles] 781 00:37:30.950 --> 00:37:33.019 -Lovely. -[phone beeps] 782 00:37:33.053 --> 00:37:36.656 Ah. Her name's Chloe, and she'll be with you at 6:30. 783 00:37:36.690 --> 00:37:37.724 [whistle blows] 784 00:37:37.757 --> 00:37:39.492 Raef! India! Get inside. 785 00:37:39.526 --> 00:37:40.927 That's enough chatting. 786 00:37:42.796 --> 00:37:44.064 Bridget Jones. 787 00:37:44.864 --> 00:37:46.066 Thank you. 788 00:38:17.831 --> 00:38:19.366 Four. 789 00:38:19.399 --> 00:38:20.100 [elevator] Four. 790 00:38:34.714 --> 00:38:37.717 -Three. -[elevator] Three. 791 00:38:37.751 --> 00:38:39.652 Thank you. 792 00:38:41.821 --> 00:38:43.490 [Bridget] This is Bridget Jones about to 793 00:38:43.523 --> 00:38:47.027 go into an actual in-person meeting. 794 00:38:48.995 --> 00:38:51.498 -Brenda Jones? -Oh, actually, it's-- 795 00:38:51.531 --> 00:38:54.167 Bridget Jones, there you are. Excellent. Quick, come with me. 796 00:38:54.200 --> 00:38:56.436 -Thank you, Lizzie. -Thanks. 797 00:38:57.837 --> 00:38:59.873 Good to see ya. How have you been? 798 00:39:01.007 --> 00:39:02.809 You look hot. 799 00:39:02.842 --> 00:39:05.111 Oh. Thank you, Richard. [chuckles] 800 00:39:05.145 --> 00:39:08.481 But I think you'll find that sort of language is a little outmoded 801 00:39:08.515 --> 00:39:10.750 -in the workplace. -No, I mean flustered. 802 00:39:10.784 --> 00:39:12.485 Are you going through the, uh, you know? 803 00:39:14.988 --> 00:39:18.124 Bridget, let me introduce you to Talitha. 804 00:39:18.158 --> 00:39:21.761 [Talitha] Richard, what am I supposed to do with this, huh? 805 00:39:21.795 --> 00:39:23.596 Does it climb? Does it stand on one leg? 806 00:39:23.630 --> 00:39:26.132 Does it do cartwheels? It's a tortoise. It doesn't do anything. 807 00:39:26.166 --> 00:39:28.635 [producer] He can't pull out. Who the fuck does he think he is? 808 00:39:28.668 --> 00:39:30.670 Arrogant, self-important prick. 809 00:39:30.704 --> 00:39:33.907 Tell that selfish arsehole he can rot in hell. 810 00:39:33.940 --> 00:39:35.809 The Dalai Lama's cancelled. 811 00:39:35.842 --> 00:39:37.877 Twat. Shit. 812 00:39:37.911 --> 00:39:40.980 Okay, we've got an hour till we're on air. 813 00:39:41.014 --> 00:39:42.749 We need a replacement. Let me make a call. 814 00:39:42.782 --> 00:39:44.050 I do Krav Maga with Fergie. 815 00:39:44.084 --> 00:39:45.819 Duchess or Black Eyed Pea? 816 00:39:45.852 --> 00:39:47.887 Duchess. She could be here in 45. 817 00:39:47.921 --> 00:39:51.725 Talitha, meet Bridget Jones. Best producer we've ever had. 818 00:39:51.758 --> 00:39:52.859 [Bridget] Oh. 819 00:39:52.892 --> 00:39:54.594 I'm sure you're very good too. 820 00:39:54.627 --> 00:39:55.762 Huge fan. 821 00:39:55.795 --> 00:39:56.996 Hold this. 822 00:39:57.030 --> 00:39:58.898 Loved your early work from Chechnya. 823 00:39:58.932 --> 00:40:02.502 [chuckles] Now I'm doing features on incontinent tortoises. 824 00:40:02.535 --> 00:40:03.770 Fergie. 825 00:40:03.803 --> 00:40:05.572 Are those glutes burning up? 826 00:40:05.605 --> 00:40:06.172 Hello. 827 00:40:06.206 --> 00:40:08.608 -Hey. Sorry. -Right. 828 00:40:08.641 --> 00:40:12.012 Uh, right. Let's get rid of this set, please, now! 829 00:40:12.045 --> 00:40:14.014 So, what do you think? 830 00:40:14.047 --> 00:40:15.782 Can we lure you back? 831 00:40:15.815 --> 00:40:17.784 [Talitha] Fergie's in. 832 00:40:17.817 --> 00:40:21.054 Does anyone know how to get tortoise piss out of silk? 833 00:40:21.087 --> 00:40:23.656 Blotting and mild detergent. 834 00:40:24.657 --> 00:40:25.992 When can I start? 835 00:40:28.294 --> 00:40:31.097 [Bridget] Am rejoining ranks of London's employed 836 00:40:31.131 --> 00:40:34.801 and meaningfully contributing to society. 837 00:40:34.834 --> 00:40:39.673 Can walk with head held high and be role model for Billy and Mabel, 838 00:40:39.706 --> 00:40:44.244 saving them from otherwise certain future as alcoholic wards of the state. 839 00:40:46.613 --> 00:40:49.616 [Pamela] It's super that the television's invited you back. 840 00:40:49.649 --> 00:40:52.052 Of course, I always stayed at home when you were little. 841 00:40:52.085 --> 00:40:53.019 [Bridget] Classic Mum. 842 00:40:53.053 --> 00:40:54.688 Can't really talk, Mum. 843 00:40:54.721 --> 00:40:56.856 I've got to tidy up before the nanny gets here. 844 00:40:56.890 --> 00:40:58.224 A nanny? Really? 845 00:40:58.258 --> 00:41:01.861 Mummy doesn't love us anymore. Ow! 846 00:41:01.895 --> 00:41:04.731 [Bridget] Ever since Mum and Una moved into Audsley House, 847 00:41:04.764 --> 00:41:07.267 the retirement home we have to pretend is a hotel, 848 00:41:07.300 --> 00:41:09.102 the phone calls have been the same. 849 00:41:09.135 --> 00:41:11.771 [Una] Any men on the horizon, Bridget? 850 00:41:11.805 --> 00:41:14.874 Well, there's got to be someone. Some people don't mind a widow. 851 00:41:14.908 --> 00:41:16.576 [Bridget] Stings a bit. 852 00:41:16.609 --> 00:41:18.578 [Pamela] Beggars can't be choosers, Bridget. 853 00:41:18.611 --> 00:41:21.614 And now, look, we're in the hotel kitchen 854 00:41:21.648 --> 00:41:24.284 -doing salmon in the sous vide. -[phone beeps] 855 00:41:24.317 --> 00:41:26.619 I mean, it's basically boil-in-the-bag, 856 00:41:26.653 --> 00:41:28.988 but everybody's doing it these days. 857 00:41:29.022 --> 00:41:31.591 [Bridget] Roxster. Definite development. 858 00:41:31.624 --> 00:41:33.126 [Mum] Cooking's never really been your thing. 859 00:41:33.159 --> 00:41:35.762 -[doorbell rings] -Oh, must go. Bye, Mum! 860 00:41:35.795 --> 00:41:36.796 [Pamela] Bye, bye. 861 00:41:36.830 --> 00:41:38.198 Oh, God, it's her. 862 00:41:40.967 --> 00:41:42.569 Hi, I'm Chloe. 863 00:41:43.703 --> 00:41:44.671 Hello. 864 00:41:46.172 --> 00:41:47.974 [Bridget] What the actual fuck? 865 00:41:48.008 --> 00:41:50.643 She looks like a film star. 866 00:41:50.677 --> 00:41:52.145 Chloe, this is Mabel. 867 00:41:52.178 --> 00:41:54.914 Look, I can play the recorder with my nose. 868 00:41:54.948 --> 00:41:56.683 [plays recorder] 869 00:41:56.716 --> 00:41:59.019 Children, this is Chloe. 870 00:41:59.052 --> 00:42:01.021 She's going to come and help with everything. 871 00:42:01.054 --> 00:42:02.889 Nicolette mentioned it would be a challenge, 872 00:42:02.922 --> 00:42:05.025 -but I've certainly seen worse. -Oh. 873 00:42:05.058 --> 00:42:07.994 Oh, and this is Billy, the science genius. 874 00:42:08.028 --> 00:42:11.898 Ooh, we mustn't pigeonhole children. It adds undue pressure. 875 00:42:11.931 --> 00:42:14.000 Have you read How To Raise a Self-Driven Child? 876 00:42:14.034 --> 00:42:15.635 Oh, yes. It's-It's on my list, 877 00:42:15.669 --> 00:42:18.972 so do not spoil the ending. [chuckles] 878 00:42:19.005 --> 00:42:20.740 Oh, not to worry, Billy. 879 00:42:20.774 --> 00:42:22.676 It's not about the result. It's about the journey. 880 00:42:22.709 --> 00:42:24.978 There's something to learn whether you get an A or a C. 881 00:42:25.011 --> 00:42:28.314 [chuckles] Billy has never had a C in... 882 00:42:29.416 --> 00:42:30.116 Who did this? 883 00:42:30.150 --> 00:42:32.185 Mr Walliker. 884 00:42:32.218 --> 00:42:35.722 I drew the earth and the atmosphere, and I put heaven over the top. 885 00:42:35.755 --> 00:42:38.892 And Mr Walliker said that heaven was a religious construct. 886 00:42:38.925 --> 00:42:40.193 And he gave me a C. 887 00:42:40.226 --> 00:42:42.228 [gasps] Well, Mr Walliker 888 00:42:42.262 --> 00:42:44.998 is a whistle-obsessed fascist 889 00:42:45.031 --> 00:42:48.234 with all the soul of a non-stick wok. 890 00:42:48.268 --> 00:42:50.670 [Mabel] Where did you hide the chocolate digestives? 891 00:42:50.704 --> 00:42:53.239 -I didn't hide... -[crashing] 892 00:42:54.841 --> 00:42:55.875 ...anything. 893 00:42:55.909 --> 00:42:57.243 [dishes crash] 894 00:42:57.277 --> 00:43:00.180 Well, plenty to do here. 895 00:43:00.213 --> 00:43:02.015 ["Worth It" playing] 896 00:43:02.048 --> 00:43:04.684 * If my body was a boat Could you steer that, sailor? * 897 00:43:04.718 --> 00:43:08.088 * Make it feel Like it's a 1960s Hollywood trailer...* 898 00:43:08.121 --> 00:43:11.825 [Bridget] Consumed with guilt re hideously perfect nanny, 899 00:43:11.858 --> 00:43:14.327 who children will obviously come to love more than hopeless mother 900 00:43:14.361 --> 00:43:16.262 -without film star hair. -[phone beeps] 901 00:43:16.296 --> 00:43:18.965 * Ooh, it's what I need Yes, 'cause* 902 00:43:18.998 --> 00:43:23.136 * I could love you* 903 00:43:23.169 --> 00:43:27.807 * If I really wanted to* 904 00:43:27.841 --> 00:43:31.244 * You could be Be my glass of wine* 905 00:43:31.277 --> 00:43:33.913 * When the sun set Help me exhale all the excess* 906 00:43:33.947 --> 00:43:37.417 * Baby, bae, b-b-bae B-b-baby, would you* 907 00:43:37.450 --> 00:43:39.919 -* Would you make it all right?* -[phone beeps] 908 00:43:39.953 --> 00:43:41.287 * Or maybe that much better?* 909 00:43:41.321 --> 00:43:42.989 * If you wanted You could make it* 910 00:43:43.023 --> 00:43:45.125 * All worth it, worth it Worth it, worth it* 911 00:43:45.158 --> 00:43:50.130 * Ooh, when I see the sun rising You make it that much better* 912 00:43:50.163 --> 00:43:52.999 * So I hope you're gonna make it All worth it, worth it...* 913 00:43:53.033 --> 00:43:56.403 [Bridget] And texting Roxster slowly became part of my life. 914 00:43:56.436 --> 00:44:00.473 A relationship with no necessity for actually meeting, 915 00:44:00.507 --> 00:44:04.811 or arrangements, or sex, or any real life at all. 916 00:44:04.844 --> 00:44:08.982 - In other words, the perfect relationship. -[phone beeps] 917 00:44:09.015 --> 00:44:11.317 Is that the tree Adonis? 918 00:44:12.152 --> 00:44:14.387 Wait a minute. 919 00:44:14.421 --> 00:44:17.824 You wrote to him, "How are you liking Tinder?" 920 00:44:17.857 --> 00:44:20.293 Inoffensive, neutral, a bit dull. 921 00:44:20.326 --> 00:44:24.197 He replied, "Don't know, only joined it to find you, Bridget Jones." 922 00:44:25.265 --> 00:44:27.400 -Shag him now. -Mm-mmm. 923 00:44:27.434 --> 00:44:30.270 Then he sent a smiley emoji 924 00:44:30.303 --> 00:44:34.207 and then you responded with the flag of Greece, 925 00:44:34.240 --> 00:44:37.944 an abacus and a duck. 926 00:44:41.014 --> 00:44:42.115 I panicked. 927 00:44:42.148 --> 00:44:43.383 [customer] Thank you. 928 00:44:43.416 --> 00:44:45.318 [checkout operator] Who's next? 929 00:44:45.352 --> 00:44:48.088 Do you want to go for a drink? 930 00:44:48.121 --> 00:44:50.323 I'm so flattered. 931 00:44:50.357 --> 00:44:52.859 Um, but I've got a boyfriend. 932 00:44:52.892 --> 00:44:56.796 Well, sort of got a boyfriend. I think. 933 00:44:56.830 --> 00:45:00.033 Um, so nice of you to ask, but, um... 934 00:45:01.368 --> 00:45:03.370 no, thank you. 935 00:45:03.403 --> 00:45:05.805 No, it's part of the meal deal. 936 00:45:08.041 --> 00:45:09.175 [Miranda chuckles] 937 00:45:09.209 --> 00:45:10.310 [Talitha] Well, this one's easy. 938 00:45:10.343 --> 00:45:13.113 You absolutely must go. Obviously. 939 00:45:13.146 --> 00:45:16.516 But we've been texting for so long now. I can't meet him. 940 00:45:16.549 --> 00:45:18.451 I mean, maybe it's like in Jane Austen's day 941 00:45:18.485 --> 00:45:20.286 when they did letter writing for months and months 942 00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:21.955 and then suddenly just got married. 943 00:45:21.988 --> 00:45:25.191 Bridget, sexting a man that you just met in a park 944 00:45:25.225 --> 00:45:26.960 is nothing like Jane Austen's day. 945 00:45:26.993 --> 00:45:29.829 -If you don't shag him, I will. -I can't. 946 00:45:29.863 --> 00:45:33.199 There is no possibility of being naked with a man at this point in my life. 947 00:45:33.233 --> 00:45:35.402 You just need a little rebrand. 948 00:45:35.435 --> 00:45:37.103 You'll start by getting a slip. 949 00:45:37.137 --> 00:45:38.905 -A slip? -Yeah, with a slip, 950 00:45:38.938 --> 00:45:41.374 you can show off your arms, your legs, your décolletage, 951 00:45:41.408 --> 00:45:43.043 which are always the last to go. 952 00:45:43.076 --> 00:45:44.511 And keep the central area, 953 00:45:44.544 --> 00:45:47.414 which one might want to gloss over, glossed over. 954 00:45:47.447 --> 00:45:48.982 And get a Brazilian. 955 00:45:49.015 --> 00:45:50.450 God, no. 956 00:45:50.483 --> 00:45:52.218 I like a bit of coverage down there. 957 00:45:52.252 --> 00:45:54.120 Or run a comb through it at least. 958 00:45:54.154 --> 00:45:56.222 But also, do get a Brazilian. 959 00:45:56.256 --> 00:45:58.024 Just dust it. Dust it down. 960 00:45:58.992 --> 00:46:00.460 Okay, I'll go! 961 00:46:00.493 --> 00:46:03.296 But I'm not going to sleep with him. 962 00:46:04.931 --> 00:46:07.100 [Bridget] Are condoms meant to be coloured? 963 00:46:07.133 --> 00:46:09.102 Is hypersensitive good? 964 00:46:09.135 --> 00:46:11.471 Large? Small? Oh. 965 00:46:11.504 --> 00:46:14.908 Maybe just purchase a representative selection. 966 00:46:23.249 --> 00:46:24.317 -[till beeps] -Regular. 967 00:46:26.086 --> 00:46:27.420 Mmm, exotic flavours. 968 00:46:27.454 --> 00:46:28.555 [till beeps] 969 00:46:30.123 --> 00:46:31.224 Thin feel. 970 00:46:31.257 --> 00:46:32.359 [till beeps] 971 00:46:33.426 --> 00:46:34.894 -Extra-large. -[till beeps] 972 00:46:36.296 --> 00:46:37.597 -[till beeps] -Pleasure Me. 973 00:46:39.499 --> 00:46:41.401 -[till beeps] -Lube. 974 00:46:42.602 --> 00:46:44.337 -[till beeps] -Pleasure Me again. 975 00:46:54.080 --> 00:46:56.016 Enjoy your weekend, Mrs Darcy. 976 00:47:05.058 --> 00:47:06.960 Hello, old friend. 977 00:47:15.135 --> 00:47:16.102 Hmm. 978 00:47:17.637 --> 00:47:18.938 [Bridget] Thanks for having the kids tonight. 979 00:47:18.972 --> 00:47:20.440 Always a pleasure, never a chore. 980 00:47:20.473 --> 00:47:21.908 I'll take them to school in the morning. 981 00:47:21.941 --> 00:47:25.912 So you can stay out as late as you want. 982 00:47:25.945 --> 00:47:28.048 Make up for four years of no shagging. 983 00:47:28.081 --> 00:47:29.449 It's only a drink. 984 00:47:32.185 --> 00:47:33.987 Too see-through? 985 00:47:34.020 --> 00:47:36.222 Mmm. Definitely. 986 00:47:36.256 --> 00:47:37.457 [Bridget sighs] OK. 987 00:47:38.992 --> 00:47:40.093 How about this? 988 00:47:42.228 --> 00:47:44.230 -[blows kiss] -OK. 989 00:47:44.264 --> 00:47:46.499 [Bridget] The reality suddenly completely terrifying, 990 00:47:46.533 --> 00:47:48.335 and Mark, and insane and flabby. 991 00:47:48.368 --> 00:47:49.602 And oh, God, oh, God. 992 00:47:49.636 --> 00:47:50.970 I can't. 993 00:47:51.004 --> 00:47:52.972 -I really can't. -Oh. What? What? 994 00:47:53.006 --> 00:47:56.009 -No, I just can't. -Aw. Hey, you can. 995 00:47:56.042 --> 00:48:00.080 You just need to think of it as widening your circle of friends. 996 00:48:00.113 --> 00:48:01.181 That's all. 997 00:48:02.215 --> 00:48:03.950 [Shazzer] Hmm? 998 00:48:03.983 --> 00:48:05.251 Come on. 999 00:48:05.285 --> 00:48:07.354 Put on the dress, get out of here 1000 00:48:07.387 --> 00:48:09.589 and widen your fucking circle. 1001 00:48:28.708 --> 00:48:30.610 [Bridget] Oh, God. Look at him. 1002 00:48:30.643 --> 00:48:32.612 What if he's perfect? 1003 00:48:42.188 --> 00:48:43.156 -Hello. -[chuckles] 1004 00:48:43.189 --> 00:48:44.124 Hi. 1005 00:48:46.292 --> 00:48:50.163 There's a really great place around here that's been here for forever. 1006 00:48:50.196 --> 00:48:51.564 Do you know this area at all? 1007 00:48:51.598 --> 00:48:54.567 Mmm, I used to. 1008 00:48:54.601 --> 00:48:58.171 Yeah, the, uh, Heath Ranger thing is just a day job. 1009 00:48:58.204 --> 00:49:01.007 -And my real passion is garbage. -[chuckles] 1010 00:49:03.243 --> 00:49:04.444 Really? 1011 00:49:04.477 --> 00:49:08.014 The technical term is garbologist. 1012 00:49:08.048 --> 00:49:11.384 I'm a biochemist. Studying to be one. 1013 00:49:11.418 --> 00:49:13.119 You're a student. 1014 00:49:13.153 --> 00:49:15.355 A late-in-life one, anyway. Yeah. 1015 00:49:15.388 --> 00:49:17.323 How late? 1016 00:49:17.357 --> 00:49:18.558 I'm 28. 1017 00:49:19.526 --> 00:49:21.127 I'm just kidding. 1018 00:49:21.161 --> 00:49:22.495 I'm 29. 1019 00:49:23.029 --> 00:49:24.631 [Bridget] Fuck. 1020 00:49:24.664 --> 00:49:27.300 Is he closer in age to me or to Billy? 1021 00:49:27.334 --> 00:49:28.568 What about you? 1022 00:49:29.836 --> 00:49:31.237 You are... 1023 00:49:31.271 --> 00:49:33.340 Slightly older. 1024 00:49:33.373 --> 00:49:36.476 I'm gonna say 35-ish. 1025 00:49:36.509 --> 00:49:38.078 Yes. 1026 00:49:38.111 --> 00:49:39.112 Bull's-eye. 1027 00:49:40.246 --> 00:49:41.648 Let's say 35. 1028 00:49:41.681 --> 00:49:43.149 -Mmm. Thirty-five it is. -Mm-hmm. 1029 00:49:45.118 --> 00:49:46.619 Is 35 all right? 1030 00:49:46.653 --> 00:49:48.555 I think older women, 1031 00:49:48.588 --> 00:49:51.324 ever so slightly older women, 1032 00:49:52.559 --> 00:49:54.094 have a wiser view on life. 1033 00:49:54.127 --> 00:49:56.363 You know, they're more experienced 1034 00:49:56.396 --> 00:49:59.666 and more emotionally mature. 1035 00:49:59.699 --> 00:50:01.534 [Bridget] Me in a nutshell. 1036 00:50:01.568 --> 00:50:04.537 I find that very attractive. 1037 00:50:27.327 --> 00:50:31.231 [Bridget] Oh, God. I have no idea how any of this works anymore. 1038 00:50:32.732 --> 00:50:34.601 Is it all right if I kiss you? 1039 00:50:37.704 --> 00:50:40.807 [Bridget] Aw. The generation who ask. 1040 00:50:40.840 --> 00:50:43.176 I think that would be acceptable. 1041 00:51:27.654 --> 00:51:29.289 [breathing heavily] 1042 00:51:34.461 --> 00:51:36.596 Give me just one moment. 1043 00:51:36.629 --> 00:51:37.664 [chuckles] 1044 00:51:47.640 --> 00:51:49.642 Oh, my God. 1045 00:51:51.244 --> 00:51:52.846 What are you doing? 1046 00:52:14.401 --> 00:52:16.603 ["Toes" playing] 1047 00:52:16.636 --> 00:52:19.773 * Put your hand down, boy* 1048 00:52:19.806 --> 00:52:22.942 * Welcome to my zoo* 1049 00:52:22.976 --> 00:52:26.546 * Put your head inside My big, black wild while* 1050 00:52:26.579 --> 00:52:29.683 * I can still help you* 1051 00:52:29.716 --> 00:52:32.786 * See the snake-baboon* 1052 00:52:32.819 --> 00:52:35.922 * Funky, chic and smooth* 1053 00:52:35.955 --> 00:52:39.659 * Honey, can you spy The divine ape-swine* 1054 00:52:39.693 --> 00:52:43.963 * 'Cause he can see you* 1055 00:52:47.500 --> 00:52:48.668 I... 1056 00:52:48.702 --> 00:52:49.803 You all right? 1057 00:52:49.836 --> 00:52:51.271 Yeah. It's just... 1058 00:52:53.306 --> 00:52:54.507 Yeah. Okay. 1059 00:52:55.542 --> 00:52:56.776 Wow. It's really tight. 1060 00:52:56.810 --> 00:52:57.977 [Bridget chuckles] 1061 00:53:00.313 --> 00:53:04.284 * I'm a man I'm a twisted fool* 1062 00:53:04.317 --> 00:53:07.554 * My hands are twisted, too...* 1063 00:53:07.587 --> 00:53:09.422 [discordant piano notes] 1064 00:53:09.456 --> 00:53:11.791 -[Barney singing] * I am an animal...* -Oh, God. 1065 00:53:11.825 --> 00:53:14.294 * ...that starts with E* 1066 00:53:14.327 --> 00:53:15.562 -Mabel's. -Ah. 1067 00:53:15.595 --> 00:53:16.696 ["Toes" continues playing] 1068 00:53:16.730 --> 00:53:17.964 * I'm a man* 1069 00:53:17.997 --> 00:53:20.767 * I'm a twisted fool* 1070 00:53:20.800 --> 00:53:23.937 * My hands are twisted too* 1071 00:53:23.970 --> 00:53:26.406 * Five fingers Two black hooves* 1072 00:53:26.439 --> 00:53:27.741 You make me so hard, baby. 1073 00:53:27.774 --> 00:53:30.543 [breathes heavily] You make me hard. 1074 00:53:32.379 --> 00:53:33.413 What? 1075 00:53:33.446 --> 00:53:34.681 [laughing] 1076 00:53:34.714 --> 00:53:36.916 * Got toes and I can smile* 1077 00:53:36.950 --> 00:53:42.022 * I'm crooked but upright* 1078 00:53:56.736 --> 00:53:57.837 [sighs] 1079 00:54:10.617 --> 00:54:12.018 [chuckles] 1080 00:54:12.052 --> 00:54:14.354 How did that happen? I'm using protection. 1081 00:54:14.387 --> 00:54:15.555 [laughing] 1082 00:54:15.588 --> 00:54:16.823 ["Pearls" playing] 1083 00:54:16.856 --> 00:54:22.729 * La, la, la, la Whoo* 1084 00:54:22.762 --> 00:54:24.698 * I'm so nine-to-five* 1085 00:54:24.731 --> 00:54:26.032 -Hi, Bridge. -Morning. 1086 00:54:26.066 --> 00:54:27.701 I've got coffee and I've got Ricky Gervais's 1087 00:54:27.734 --> 00:54:29.736 requests for today's show. 1088 00:54:29.769 --> 00:54:31.805 -Seriously? [gasps] -Yeah. 1089 00:54:31.838 --> 00:54:33.773 -It's big. -Yeah. 1090 00:54:33.807 --> 00:54:36.009 -A relaxation corner. -Uh-huh. 1091 00:54:36.042 --> 00:54:38.378 Three full-length mirrors. 1092 00:54:38.411 --> 00:54:41.448 And he'll only use La Mer for some reason? 1093 00:54:41.481 --> 00:54:42.916 [chuckles] I know. 1094 00:54:42.949 --> 00:54:45.518 -Ooh. Three, please. -[elevator] Three. 1095 00:54:45.552 --> 00:54:47.420 Did you have sex last night? 1096 00:54:47.454 --> 00:54:49.656 What? No. 1097 00:54:49.689 --> 00:54:51.057 * Won't you take a hold of me* 1098 00:54:51.091 --> 00:54:53.626 Sam! Ricky Gervais is on his way in. 1099 00:54:53.660 --> 00:54:56.529 And, apparently, he won't drink Evian, only Icelandic water. 1100 00:54:56.563 --> 00:54:58.832 And it's got to have lots of alkalines. 1101 00:54:59.766 --> 00:55:01.001 Or no alkalines. 1102 00:55:01.768 --> 00:55:02.936 Um... 1103 00:55:03.903 --> 00:55:05.672 Did you have sex last night? 1104 00:55:05.705 --> 00:55:07.640 What? No! 1105 00:55:07.674 --> 00:55:09.509 * La, la, la, la* 1106 00:55:09.542 --> 00:55:11.077 [grunts] God! 1107 00:55:11.111 --> 00:55:13.513 Tape measure, please. Quick. 1108 00:55:13.546 --> 00:55:18.718 The cushion can't be more than 40 centimetres from the floor for Ricky. 1109 00:55:18.752 --> 00:55:20.420 Did you have sex last night? 1110 00:55:23.423 --> 00:55:26.960 [groans] Yes. I did. Okay? I did. 1111 00:55:26.993 --> 00:55:31.898 I had a full night of utterly mind-blowing sex 1112 00:55:31.931 --> 00:55:36.770 with a tree-rescuing rubbish expert Adonis who might be slightly younger, probably. 1113 00:55:36.803 --> 00:55:40.707 And it was amazing! 1114 00:55:40.740 --> 00:55:42.409 Okay? 1115 00:55:42.442 --> 00:55:44.144 So what? 1116 00:55:46.746 --> 00:55:48.081 [audience applauds] 1117 00:55:51.217 --> 00:55:52.585 [cheering] 1118 00:55:52.619 --> 00:55:55.822 * Lost in romance* 1119 00:55:55.855 --> 00:55:58.458 * Let's just dance, ooh* 1120 00:55:58.491 --> 00:56:00.593 * Shake it till the pearls Get lost* 1121 00:56:00.627 --> 00:56:02.595 * La, la, la, la* 1122 00:56:02.629 --> 00:56:04.731 [Bridget] Am not only mother and sexual being, 1123 00:56:04.764 --> 00:56:07.967 but also capable working woman at the top of her game. 1124 00:56:08.001 --> 00:56:10.003 So take that, Chloe. 1125 00:56:10.036 --> 00:56:13.473 I've done the macaroni and cheese, but with butternut squash instead. 1126 00:56:13.506 --> 00:56:15.975 It's in the bottom oven. Just needs to move to the top in about 20 minutes. 1127 00:56:16.009 --> 00:56:18.144 Good. Good. Right. 1128 00:56:18.178 --> 00:56:20.580 It's just how I would do it. 1129 00:56:20.613 --> 00:56:22.048 Um... Oh, Chloe, 1130 00:56:22.082 --> 00:56:24.217 uh, it would be really helpful 1131 00:56:24.250 --> 00:56:26.619 to have their water bottles done the night before. 1132 00:56:26.653 --> 00:56:28.154 In the fridge. Top right. 1133 00:56:28.188 --> 00:56:29.756 Where the expired milk was. 1134 00:56:29.789 --> 00:56:33.493 Oh, great. Great. Um... 1135 00:56:33.526 --> 00:56:36.763 Billy will need something extra for snack tomorrow. 1136 00:56:36.796 --> 00:56:38.631 -He's got-- -Cricket, yeah. 1137 00:56:38.665 --> 00:56:40.767 In a snack bag. Labelled. By the bread bin. 1138 00:56:40.800 --> 00:56:43.536 -We have a bread bin? -I have to leave, I'm afraid. 1139 00:56:43.570 --> 00:56:45.538 Graham and I have tai chi on Thursdays. 1140 00:56:45.572 --> 00:56:48.008 6:45 sharp, but earlier to get the spot you want. 1141 00:56:48.041 --> 00:56:50.043 Oh. [chuckles] 'Course. 1142 00:56:50.076 --> 00:56:52.645 You and Graham enjoy your tai chi. 1143 00:56:52.679 --> 00:56:55.181 Oh, you forgot to leave out Billy's cricket things, 1144 00:56:55.215 --> 00:56:56.683 but never mind. I'll do it. 1145 00:56:56.716 --> 00:56:58.118 Bag packed by the door. 1146 00:57:00.020 --> 00:57:01.221 [sighs deeply] 1147 00:57:02.889 --> 00:57:04.224 [Bridget] Nevertheless, 1148 00:57:04.257 --> 00:57:07.660 secret to calmer, happier parenting: 1149 00:57:07.694 --> 00:57:09.662 -one-night stands. -[doorbell rings] 1150 00:57:11.097 --> 00:57:14.534 Although, it wasn't just one night. 1151 00:57:16.102 --> 00:57:17.570 Brought a pie. 1152 00:57:18.638 --> 00:57:19.939 Hmm. 1153 00:57:19.973 --> 00:57:21.975 ["What a Wonderful Thing Love Is" playing] 1154 00:57:23.977 --> 00:57:25.545 [Roxster chuckles] 1155 00:57:26.012 --> 00:57:27.747 That was funny. 1156 00:57:27.781 --> 00:57:30.550 [Bridget] And so, a moment turned into a date, 1157 00:57:31.718 --> 00:57:33.486 which turned into a kiss. 1158 00:57:35.121 --> 00:57:37.223 Which turned into a night. 1159 00:57:38.124 --> 00:57:40.560 * Ooh* 1160 00:57:40.593 --> 00:57:41.761 [Bridget chuckling] 1161 00:57:41.795 --> 00:57:46.666 * What a wonderful thing...* 1162 00:57:46.700 --> 00:57:50.103 [Bridget] And the night turned into a summer. 1163 00:57:50.136 --> 00:57:51.971 [Bridget, Roxster chuckling] 1164 00:57:52.005 --> 00:57:55.208 * I can see You standing there now* 1165 00:57:56.943 --> 00:57:58.978 * And you're The prettiest thing* 1166 00:57:59.012 --> 00:58:01.047 * In the crowd* 1167 00:58:02.682 --> 00:58:09.222 * And guess who Be laughing loud, but me* 1168 00:58:10.790 --> 00:58:15.028 * You made me see the love* 1169 00:58:16.062 --> 00:58:19.866 * That you're giving me* 1170 00:58:19.899 --> 00:58:21.801 * Baby...* 1171 00:58:21.835 --> 00:58:23.003 [laughing] 1172 00:58:23.036 --> 00:58:25.305 * Won't you hold my hand?* 1173 00:58:26.439 --> 00:58:31.077 * Just let me know that I'm your man* 1174 00:58:31.111 --> 00:58:34.948 * And show I'm not ashamed* 1175 00:58:34.981 --> 00:58:37.717 * I walk the floor* 1176 00:58:37.751 --> 00:58:41.888 * When you leave me* 1177 00:58:41.921 --> 00:58:43.156 [whooping] 1178 00:58:43.189 --> 00:58:45.325 * Hey, baby* 1179 00:58:46.793 --> 00:58:49.329 * I don't know about you* 1180 00:58:51.264 --> 00:58:55.201 * Let me tell you what I'm gonna do* 1181 00:58:56.403 --> 00:59:01.741 * I'm gonna try to make My dreams come true* 1182 00:59:01.775 --> 00:59:04.244 * With you* 1183 00:59:04.277 --> 00:59:05.912 Morning. Welcome back. 1184 00:59:05.945 --> 00:59:08.081 -Good morning, Mr Walliker. -Morning. 1185 00:59:08.114 --> 00:59:09.916 -Morning. -Mrs Darcy. 1186 00:59:09.949 --> 00:59:10.984 How were your summer holidays? 1187 00:59:11.017 --> 00:59:12.152 I have a new daddy now. 1188 00:59:12.185 --> 00:59:13.319 His name is Roxster, 1189 00:59:13.353 --> 00:59:15.021 and he always gives Mummy 1190 00:59:15.055 --> 00:59:16.690 a funny hairstyle in the morning. 1191 00:59:16.723 --> 00:59:18.825 Yes, well. It's not that funny, is it, Mabel? 1192 00:59:18.858 --> 00:59:20.326 It is. 1193 00:59:20.360 --> 00:59:23.263 He's not a new daddy. He's just someone. 1194 00:59:25.231 --> 00:59:26.266 Off you go. 1195 00:59:28.101 --> 00:59:29.869 Well, it seems congratulations are in order. 1196 00:59:31.771 --> 00:59:33.206 [blows whistle] You! 1197 00:59:33.239 --> 00:59:35.375 -No. You two. Come on. -Bye, Mum. See you soon. Bye. 1198 00:59:35.408 --> 00:59:37.077 [in French] Bisous, bisous, bisous. 1199 00:59:37.110 --> 00:59:39.846 Bridget, I emailed you from Anguilla about, um-- 1200 00:59:39.879 --> 00:59:42.849 Jobs Day, yes. I come prepared. 1201 00:59:42.882 --> 00:59:47.287 I must say, it's a welcome change, all... this. [chuckles] 1202 00:59:48.221 --> 00:59:49.656 Thank you. [chuckles] 1203 00:59:51.925 --> 00:59:53.226 [chattering] 1204 00:59:53.259 --> 00:59:55.228 [Walliker] All right, everyone. Settle down. 1205 00:59:55.261 --> 00:59:57.097 Settle down. Thank you. 1206 00:59:57.130 --> 00:59:58.832 Um, so... 1207 00:59:58.865 --> 01:00:02.168 Last term, Daveed's dad was kind enough to talk to us 1208 01:00:02.202 --> 01:00:04.037 about being a thoracic surgeon, 1209 01:00:04.070 --> 01:00:06.339 and next week, Eugenie's mum will be in 1210 01:00:06.373 --> 01:00:09.209 to talk about her role as a nuclear physicist, 1211 01:00:09.242 --> 01:00:11.444 and how it felt to win the Nobel Prize. 1212 01:00:11.478 --> 01:00:14.814 But today, it's Billy's mum. 1213 01:00:14.848 --> 01:00:17.917 So, everyone, give a warm welcome to Mrs Darcy. 1214 01:00:17.951 --> 01:00:19.152 [applause] 1215 01:00:22.822 --> 01:00:23.790 Hello. 1216 01:00:26.826 --> 01:00:28.161 Um. [clears throat] 1217 01:00:28.194 --> 01:00:31.765 I am a television producer. 1218 01:00:31.798 --> 01:00:35.869 My mum says television is making society rot. 1219 01:00:35.902 --> 01:00:37.437 Yes. Well, thank you, Priscilla. 1220 01:00:37.470 --> 01:00:40.807 [Bridget] OK. May we have a volunteer? 1221 01:00:40.840 --> 01:00:41.808 [sneezes] 1222 01:00:41.841 --> 01:00:43.710 Thank you, Esmeralda. 1223 01:00:51.484 --> 01:00:52.752 Right. 1224 01:00:52.786 --> 01:00:55.955 You can stand here. 1225 01:00:55.989 --> 01:00:57.190 Very good. 1226 01:00:57.223 --> 01:01:00.026 And you are going to say things like, 1227 01:01:00.060 --> 01:01:02.295 "Ten seconds to air!" 1228 01:01:02.328 --> 01:01:06.466 And I am going to be the interviewer for the day. 1229 01:01:07.834 --> 01:01:08.968 Now... 1230 01:01:09.002 --> 01:01:10.437 [Bridget grunts] 1231 01:01:12.872 --> 01:01:13.840 Just... 1232 01:01:15.342 --> 01:01:18.745 [sighs] Right. OK. 1233 01:01:18.778 --> 01:01:23.416 Perhaps Mr Walliker could be the person being interviewed. 1234 01:01:24.918 --> 01:01:25.952 Take a seat. 1235 01:01:26.920 --> 01:01:28.922 Uh, righto. 1236 01:01:28.955 --> 01:01:30.824 Now, topic. 1237 01:01:32.959 --> 01:01:36.262 -The life cycle of the fruit fly. Hmm? -[chuckles] 1238 01:01:36.296 --> 01:01:37.497 Right, OK. 1239 01:01:39.499 --> 01:01:42.736 Ooh. Ten seconds to air! 1240 01:01:44.104 --> 01:01:45.939 Hello, this is Bridget Jones, 1241 01:01:45.972 --> 01:01:49.776 and I'm delighted to have Mr Walliker on the show today 1242 01:01:49.809 --> 01:01:53.880 to help us understand the life cycle of the fruit fly. 1243 01:01:53.913 --> 01:01:55.448 Um, well, it's a... 1244 01:01:55.482 --> 01:01:57.217 it's a pleasure to be on the show. 1245 01:01:57.250 --> 01:01:59.986 And, um, thank you for that question. 1246 01:02:00.020 --> 01:02:01.287 Um... [smacks lips] 1247 01:02:01.321 --> 01:02:03.223 Well, the, uh, the average... 1248 01:02:03.256 --> 01:02:04.924 [stammers] 1249 01:02:04.958 --> 01:02:06.092 Thank you. 1250 01:02:06.126 --> 01:02:08.061 Uh, the average fly takes about 1251 01:02:08.094 --> 01:02:09.362 two weeks to mature 1252 01:02:09.396 --> 01:02:13.099 and can live for as long as 40 or 50 days. 1253 01:02:13.133 --> 01:02:16.836 And then, like all living things, when it dies, it simply stops. 1254 01:02:16.870 --> 01:02:18.004 Cellular shutdown. 1255 01:02:18.038 --> 01:02:20.173 It falls, gradually decomposes, 1256 01:02:20.206 --> 01:02:22.208 and becomes part of the soil system. 1257 01:02:22.242 --> 01:02:24.277 But does it really end when it dies? 1258 01:02:26.212 --> 01:02:28.314 Exactly, Mr Walliker. 1259 01:02:28.348 --> 01:02:31.051 Surely there's more to the story. 1260 01:02:32.419 --> 01:02:36.456 Um, well. Well, not really. 1261 01:02:37.323 --> 01:02:39.492 But, yes. [chuckles] 1262 01:02:39.526 --> 01:02:44.364 After the body of the fruit fly stops working, 1263 01:02:44.397 --> 01:02:47.267 uh, then the soul of the fruit fly 1264 01:02:47.300 --> 01:02:50.236 will be able to be free, yes? 1265 01:02:50.270 --> 01:02:52.405 And that particular fruit fly 1266 01:02:52.439 --> 01:02:56.376 will always, in some senses, be with us. 1267 01:03:00.180 --> 01:03:03.149 -The soul of the fruit fly? -Hmm. 1268 01:03:03.183 --> 01:03:04.617 There's no evidence for a soul, 1269 01:03:04.651 --> 01:03:08.955 but the body is a perfect system of electrical pulses, 1270 01:03:08.988 --> 01:03:11.524 powered by the heart, which is in itself 1271 01:03:11.558 --> 01:03:14.494 -a pump, if you will-- -The soul, Mr Walliker, 1272 01:03:14.527 --> 01:03:17.464 is the essence of every living thing. 1273 01:03:17.497 --> 01:03:19.899 If you think we're simply bits of machinery 1274 01:03:19.933 --> 01:03:21.468 that can be switched on or off, 1275 01:03:21.501 --> 01:03:23.336 then where does art come from? 1276 01:03:23.370 --> 01:03:26.139 Or-Or wonder? Or poetry? 1277 01:03:26.172 --> 01:03:27.540 -Or magic? -Magic? 1278 01:03:27.574 --> 01:03:29.342 The fruit fly, when it dies, 1279 01:03:29.376 --> 01:03:32.278 will stay with its fruit fly family forever. 1280 01:03:32.312 --> 01:03:34.981 Keep the interview on point, Bridget. 1281 01:03:35.015 --> 01:03:36.649 [Walliker] This is utter nonsense. 1282 01:03:36.683 --> 01:03:40.487 Our world is governed by laws and fact. 1283 01:03:40.520 --> 01:03:42.288 That's our universe. 1284 01:03:42.322 --> 01:03:44.190 -And it is rational. -Cut! 1285 01:03:44.224 --> 01:03:46.192 I'm a realist, Mrs Darcy. 1286 01:03:46.226 --> 01:03:48.128 I believe in what's real. 1287 01:03:48.161 --> 01:03:49.396 Cut! 1288 01:03:50.563 --> 01:03:52.932 [Bridget] Off to Talitha's birthday. 1289 01:03:52.966 --> 01:03:55.468 Are you sure you're OK to stay tonight? 1290 01:03:55.502 --> 01:03:58.471 It's Thursday. I thought you and Graham had tai chi. 1291 01:03:58.505 --> 01:04:01.141 Won't kill him to miss a week, will it? 1292 01:04:01.174 --> 01:04:02.942 He's so uptight. 1293 01:04:04.577 --> 01:04:06.946 Oh, you look nice, Bridget. 1294 01:04:06.980 --> 01:04:08.481 Oh! [chuckles] 1295 01:04:08.515 --> 01:04:10.650 Ooh. [chuckling] 1296 01:04:11.985 --> 01:04:12.919 Oh, try this. 1297 01:04:19.959 --> 01:04:21.227 There. 1298 01:04:21.261 --> 01:04:22.595 Thanks, Chloe. 1299 01:04:25.331 --> 01:04:28.068 Billy! Mabes! Snacks on the table. 1300 01:04:32.272 --> 01:04:35.508 So where is he? Is he not coming? 1301 01:04:35.542 --> 01:04:38.244 Oh, it's fine. He must have been held up. 1302 01:04:38.278 --> 01:04:40.980 -What? By some sort of rubbish emergency? -Oh. 1303 01:04:41.014 --> 01:04:43.016 -Probably had to finish his homework. -[Tom] Stop it. 1304 01:04:43.049 --> 01:04:44.517 Hope he gets here before story time. 1305 01:04:44.551 --> 01:04:46.386 [Bridget] Shut it! 1306 01:04:46.419 --> 01:04:48.288 [Tom] Come the fuck on, Bridge. 1307 01:04:48.321 --> 01:04:49.723 Does this guy actually exist 1308 01:04:49.756 --> 01:04:52.325 or is it, um, like that one time 1309 01:04:52.359 --> 01:04:53.960 that you saw Brad Pitt at Costa Coffee? 1310 01:04:53.993 --> 01:04:56.529 -It was him. It was. -Come on. Really? 1311 01:04:56.563 --> 01:04:58.264 -[Miranda] Happy birthday. -Lovely to see you. 1312 01:04:58.298 --> 01:05:00.300 What on earth are you holding? 1313 01:05:00.333 --> 01:05:02.135 Oh, Petula. [coos] 1314 01:05:02.168 --> 01:05:03.403 A present to myself 1315 01:05:03.436 --> 01:05:05.972 and I already prefer her to any human. 1316 01:05:06.006 --> 01:05:07.340 [gasps] Oh, hi. 1317 01:05:07.374 --> 01:05:08.575 [guests] * Happy birthday to you* 1318 01:05:08.608 --> 01:05:10.643 Oh, here. Can you hold my baby 1319 01:05:10.677 --> 01:05:12.445 while I feign surprise at the cake 1320 01:05:12.479 --> 01:05:15.248 that I chose and bought for myself. 1321 01:05:15.281 --> 01:05:17.217 Oh, look! Look at that! 1322 01:05:17.250 --> 01:05:19.452 * Happy birthday, dear Talitha* 1323 01:05:19.486 --> 01:05:21.388 Thank you. Oh, look. 1324 01:05:21.421 --> 01:05:26.426 * Happy birthday to you* 1325 01:05:26.459 --> 01:05:27.694 [guests cheering] 1326 01:05:29.329 --> 01:05:31.131 [glass clinks] 1327 01:05:31.164 --> 01:05:32.432 Thank you. 1328 01:05:32.465 --> 01:05:36.503 Thank you all so much for coming today 1329 01:05:36.536 --> 01:05:40.140 to help me celebrate, well, me. 1330 01:05:40.173 --> 01:05:41.374 [guests laughing] 1331 01:05:41.408 --> 01:05:42.776 We love you, Talitha. 1332 01:05:42.809 --> 01:05:44.978 -[all] Talitha! -[Tom] Talitha! Happy birthday. 1333 01:05:46.479 --> 01:05:48.314 Beep, beep. Beep, beep. 1334 01:05:48.348 --> 01:05:50.450 [Bridget] Binko Carruthers. 1335 01:05:50.483 --> 01:05:52.419 Oh, please don't come over. Please don't. 1336 01:05:52.452 --> 01:05:53.753 Beep, beep. 1337 01:05:53.787 --> 01:05:57.524 There she is. The famous Bridget Jones. 1338 01:05:57.557 --> 01:06:00.593 So I told Cosmo I'd take you out for a spin. 1339 01:06:00.627 --> 01:06:01.594 How's Friday? 1340 01:06:01.628 --> 01:06:03.530 -[barks] -[yelps] 1341 01:06:03.563 --> 01:06:06.099 -[Tom] Fuck, no! -[guests clamour] 1342 01:06:06.132 --> 01:06:09.235 Jude, get in there. Come on, get the fuck in there! God, help! 1343 01:06:09.269 --> 01:06:11.204 Oh, my God. Oh! 1344 01:06:11.237 --> 01:06:13.540 -[Talitha] Petula, come on, darling. -[Tom] Petula! Petula! 1345 01:06:13.573 --> 01:06:14.607 ["Mad About the Boy" playing] 1346 01:06:14.641 --> 01:06:16.776 * I'm mad about the boy* 1347 01:06:19.679 --> 01:06:21.715 * And I know it's stupid* 1348 01:06:21.748 --> 01:06:24.617 * To be mad about the boy* 1349 01:06:24.651 --> 01:06:26.419 Who's that? 1350 01:06:26.453 --> 01:06:28.621 * I'm so ashamed of it* 1351 01:06:28.655 --> 01:06:33.626 * But must admit The sleepless nights I've had* 1352 01:06:35.362 --> 01:06:36.796 * About the boy* 1353 01:06:38.832 --> 01:06:40.233 [gasps] 1354 01:06:40.266 --> 01:06:42.402 * Ooh, ooh, ooh* 1355 01:06:42.435 --> 01:06:44.104 * On the silver screen...* 1356 01:06:44.137 --> 01:06:45.138 [guests cheering] 1357 01:06:47.140 --> 01:06:51.311 * He melts my foolish heart In every single scene * 1358 01:06:53.413 --> 01:06:56.483 -* Although I'm quite aware...* -[Talitha gasping] 1359 01:06:56.516 --> 01:06:58.485 * That here and there Are traces...* 1360 01:06:58.518 --> 01:07:00.553 -I think this belongs to you. -Thank you. 1361 01:07:01.488 --> 01:07:06.159 * About the boy* 1362 01:07:07.394 --> 01:07:08.828 [party guest whoops] 1363 01:07:08.862 --> 01:07:14.634 * Lord knows I'm not a fool girl* 1364 01:07:16.503 --> 01:07:17.804 -Hello. -Hi. 1365 01:07:17.837 --> 01:07:19.773 * I really shouldn't care* 1366 01:07:23.610 --> 01:07:27.614 * Lord knows I'm not a school girl* 1367 01:07:28.848 --> 01:07:31.551 * Who's in the flurry...* 1368 01:07:31.584 --> 01:07:33.353 Sorry I'm late. Buses were a nightmare. 1369 01:07:33.386 --> 01:07:34.587 It's fine. 1370 01:07:36.723 --> 01:07:38.358 Oh, I'm so sorry. 1371 01:07:38.391 --> 01:07:40.593 She just jumped out of my arms. 1372 01:07:40.627 --> 01:07:43.329 Do not apologise. 1373 01:07:43.363 --> 01:07:45.165 Oh, my darling. 1374 01:07:45.198 --> 01:07:46.833 Let me help you out of those wet clothes. 1375 01:07:46.866 --> 01:07:48.902 No. Don't you dare redress him. 1376 01:07:48.935 --> 01:07:51.604 -You look gorgeous. -You look gorgeous. 1377 01:07:51.638 --> 01:07:55.108 * All because I'm mad* 1378 01:07:56.209 --> 01:08:01.614 * About the boy* 1379 01:08:01.648 --> 01:08:05.885 Now that, my darling, is what I call a rebrand. 1380 01:08:07.654 --> 01:08:09.756 Hi. I'm Roxster. 1381 01:08:10.623 --> 01:08:12.158 ["Praise You" playing] 1382 01:08:23.236 --> 01:08:24.137 [laughing] 1383 01:08:27.374 --> 01:08:31.578 * We've come a long Long way together* 1384 01:08:31.611 --> 01:08:33.680 I hope he's up to it, darling. 1385 01:08:33.713 --> 01:08:36.182 * Through the hard times And the good* 1386 01:08:36.216 --> 01:08:40.620 * I have to celebrate you Baby* 1387 01:08:40.653 --> 01:08:44.891 * I have to praise you like I should* 1388 01:08:44.924 --> 01:08:47.160 * I have to praise you* 1389 01:08:49.596 --> 01:08:51.331 * I have to praise you* 1390 01:08:53.800 --> 01:08:55.735 * I have to praise you* 1391 01:08:55.769 --> 01:08:58.238 -Hello. -Oh, fuck off. 1392 01:08:58.271 --> 01:09:02.475 * I have to praise you like I should* 1393 01:09:02.509 --> 01:09:04.344 * I have to praise you* 1394 01:09:11.418 --> 01:09:13.286 * I have to praise you* 1395 01:09:16.756 --> 01:09:18.358 ["I Want a Little Sugar In My Bowl" playing] 1396 01:09:18.391 --> 01:09:23.730 * I want a little sugar In my bowl* 1397 01:09:23.763 --> 01:09:25.398 [Bridget] If there is a God, 1398 01:09:25.432 --> 01:09:27.801 I'm sure he had more to deal with that night 1399 01:09:27.834 --> 01:09:29.969 than my personal happiness, 1400 01:09:30.003 --> 01:09:33.807 but it did feel like he'd taken the night off everything else 1401 01:09:33.840 --> 01:09:35.709 to focus on me. 1402 01:09:37.844 --> 01:09:39.913 But then... 1403 01:09:39.946 --> 01:09:41.815 I wish I had a time machine. 1404 01:09:41.848 --> 01:09:43.717 * Feel so funny* 1405 01:09:43.750 --> 01:09:48.755 * I feel so sad* 1406 01:09:48.788 --> 01:09:49.956 * What's the matter, baby?* 1407 01:09:49.989 --> 01:09:51.624 [Bridget] A time machine. 1408 01:09:51.658 --> 01:09:54.027 * Come on, save my soul* 1409 01:09:54.060 --> 01:09:56.496 [Bridget] In his moment of inebriated joy, 1410 01:09:56.529 --> 01:09:58.798 he had given himself away. 1411 01:10:02.635 --> 01:10:04.504 * In my bowl* 1412 01:10:04.537 --> 01:10:06.373 [Bridget] It mattered to him. 1413 01:10:06.406 --> 01:10:11.444 And with that came the elephant stomping heavily into the room. 1414 01:10:13.880 --> 01:10:15.348 [birds chirping] 1415 01:10:26.760 --> 01:10:27.794 ["A Little Respect" playing] 1416 01:10:27.827 --> 01:10:30.030 * I try to discover...* 1417 01:10:30.063 --> 01:10:31.898 [Talitha] That happens to us all, James. 1418 01:10:31.931 --> 01:10:35.735 -[guest speaking] -[audience laughs] 1419 01:10:35.769 --> 01:10:38.004 [guest] Oh, I do have about 60 naps a day. 1420 01:10:38.038 --> 01:10:39.939 [guest, audience laughing] 1421 01:10:39.973 --> 01:10:43.576 [guest] Well, 60 in the morning and a nap in the afternoon. 1422 01:10:43.610 --> 01:10:47.580 [Talitha] Yeah, but you've got so many interesting characters in this show. 1423 01:10:47.614 --> 01:10:49.616 So this show is for... 1424 01:10:49.649 --> 01:10:50.984 [Bridget] Ghosting. 1425 01:10:51.017 --> 01:10:52.852 The practice of ending a relationship 1426 01:10:52.886 --> 01:10:54.754 by suddenly and without explanation 1427 01:10:54.788 --> 01:10:57.057 withdrawing from all communication. 1428 01:10:58.792 --> 01:11:02.062 * That you give me No reason why you...* 1429 01:11:02.095 --> 01:11:05.932 [Bridget] The slow unveiling of reality and rejection. 1430 01:11:05.965 --> 01:11:08.034 * That you give me no That you give me no* 1431 01:11:08.068 --> 01:11:10.837 * That you give me no That you give me no...* 1432 01:11:10.870 --> 01:11:12.539 [Bridget] The casual cruelty. 1433 01:11:13.840 --> 01:11:17.911 * I hear you calling* 1434 01:11:19.112 --> 01:11:23.016 * Oh, baby, please...* 1435 01:11:23.049 --> 01:11:25.051 -[phone beeps] -[Walliker blowing whistle] 1436 01:11:25.085 --> 01:11:29.389 * Give a little respect* 1437 01:11:29.422 --> 01:11:35.795 * To me* 1438 01:11:35.829 --> 01:11:38.465 * What religion or reason* 1439 01:11:38.498 --> 01:11:42.569 * Could cause a man To forsake his lover?* 1440 01:11:42.602 --> 01:11:44.070 * Don't you tell me no...* 1441 01:11:44.104 --> 01:11:46.139 [Bridget] Do not text when ghosted. 1442 01:11:46.172 --> 01:11:49.843 * Don't you tell me no Soul...* 1443 01:11:49.876 --> 01:11:52.078 [Bridget] Do not text when drunk. 1444 01:11:52.112 --> 01:11:55.115 * I hear you calling* 1445 01:11:56.116 --> 01:12:01.421 * Oh, baby, please* 1446 01:12:02.589 --> 01:12:06.426 * Give a little respect* 1447 01:12:06.459 --> 01:12:10.964 * To me* 1448 01:12:20.740 --> 01:12:22.175 Ghost the bastard back, Bridget. 1449 01:12:22.208 --> 01:12:25.011 Just let him disintegrate into nothingness. 1450 01:12:25.045 --> 01:12:26.913 It can be a jungle out there. 1451 01:12:26.946 --> 01:12:29.482 Yep. And I'm the giant panda, 1452 01:12:29.516 --> 01:12:32.852 sexually obsolete and destined to be alone forever. 1453 01:12:32.886 --> 01:12:36.122 No. You will adapt and survive like we all do. 1454 01:12:36.156 --> 01:12:39.526 I used to be on the cover of Vanity Fairin a flak jacket. 1455 01:12:39.559 --> 01:12:42.629 And now I'm on the cover of Good Housekeepingwith a pavlova. 1456 01:12:42.662 --> 01:12:43.697 Cathy... 1457 01:12:44.831 --> 01:12:46.566 where's your special stuff? 1458 01:12:47.901 --> 01:12:50.470 HD TV was an extinction-level event 1459 01:12:50.503 --> 01:12:53.673 for the fearless career television presenter. 1460 01:12:53.707 --> 01:12:57.477 I'm about to usher you into your next chapter. 1461 01:12:57.510 --> 01:13:00.847 [Cathy] Lip serum. I get it on the dark web. 1462 01:13:00.880 --> 01:13:03.216 -Is it legal? -Absolutely. 1463 01:13:03.249 --> 01:13:04.517 In Venezuela. 1464 01:13:05.051 --> 01:13:06.186 Here, take it. 1465 01:13:09.656 --> 01:13:13.159 Adapt and survive. 1466 01:13:14.994 --> 01:13:17.530 [Bridget] Adapt and survive. 1467 01:13:19.232 --> 01:13:21.968 Ooh. Something's definitely happening. 1468 01:13:22.002 --> 01:13:25.772 It's either disastrous or totally fantastic. 1469 01:13:25.805 --> 01:13:27.107 Mummy! 1470 01:13:28.875 --> 01:13:30.510 [slurred] Hi, sweetie. 1471 01:13:30.543 --> 01:13:32.178 [Bridget] Shit. What's happening to my voice? 1472 01:13:32.212 --> 01:13:33.847 Mabel's shoes are on the wrong feet. 1473 01:13:33.880 --> 01:13:35.749 No. My feet are on the wrong legs. 1474 01:13:35.782 --> 01:13:37.517 [Bridget, Walliker chuckle] 1475 01:13:37.550 --> 01:13:39.219 Silly thing. 1476 01:13:39.252 --> 01:13:42.222 Mummy, something's wrong with your mouth. 1477 01:13:43.156 --> 01:13:44.090 No. 1478 01:13:44.124 --> 01:13:45.692 [chuckles] No, there isn't. 1479 01:13:45.725 --> 01:13:47.527 Yes, there is. Look. 1480 01:13:47.560 --> 01:13:49.562 Your lips are all funny right there. 1481 01:13:49.596 --> 01:13:51.865 [slurred, lisping] Darling, don't be ridiculous. 1482 01:13:51.898 --> 01:13:55.502 All right, Mabel, let's get these swapped over, shall we? 1483 01:13:56.603 --> 01:13:58.171 Out we pop. All right. 1484 01:13:58.204 --> 01:14:01.875 I wouldn't do that again if I were you, Mrs Darcy. 1485 01:14:01.908 --> 01:14:03.176 You looked all right to begin with. 1486 01:14:04.811 --> 01:14:06.146 [Walliker] All right. 1487 01:14:06.179 --> 01:14:08.882 [laughing] You're trying to look younger 1488 01:14:08.915 --> 01:14:14.220 and the effects have marked similarities to those of an elderly stroke victim. 1489 01:14:14.254 --> 01:14:16.122 [laughing] 1490 01:14:16.156 --> 01:14:18.992 You're actually drooling now. 1491 01:14:21.761 --> 01:14:23.129 Oh, dear. [inhales] 1492 01:14:23.163 --> 01:14:26.066 Now, acutely aware as I am of my waiting room 1493 01:14:26.099 --> 01:14:29.102 filled to capacity with actual patients-- 1494 01:14:29.135 --> 01:14:31.271 not to mention the fact that I am a gynaecologist 1495 01:14:31.304 --> 01:14:33.606 and that particular set of lips is, 1496 01:14:33.640 --> 01:14:36.609 as it were, broadly speaking, at the wrong end-- 1497 01:14:36.643 --> 01:14:39.612 I am nonetheless going to ask you the question, 1498 01:14:40.280 --> 01:14:42.248 "Bridget, are you OK?" 1499 01:14:42.282 --> 01:14:45.085 A simple yes will suffice. 1500 01:14:46.319 --> 01:14:47.721 No. 1501 01:14:49.622 --> 01:14:51.291 It's all your fault. 1502 01:14:51.925 --> 01:14:53.793 [lisping] 1503 01:15:15.715 --> 01:15:17.617 [crying] 1504 01:15:21.154 --> 01:15:22.655 [paper ripping] 1505 01:15:33.166 --> 01:15:35.902 "Twat." Sorry, it's doctor's handwriting. 1506 01:15:35.935 --> 01:15:37.671 That's an A, in the middle there. 1507 01:15:37.704 --> 01:15:42.308 [sighs] Now, I rather zoned out after "pyjamas", 1508 01:15:42.342 --> 01:15:45.311 but a toy boy is not the answer, Bridget, and nor are big lips. 1509 01:15:46.680 --> 01:15:48.014 You're a widow 1510 01:15:48.048 --> 01:15:50.150 with two wonderful children who adore you. 1511 01:15:50.183 --> 01:15:52.052 You're just trying to cope with a shitty situation. 1512 01:15:52.085 --> 01:15:53.720 Embrace the chaos. 1513 01:15:55.221 --> 01:15:57.390 That's just a simple allergic reaction to 1514 01:15:57.424 --> 01:16:00.927 hydroxymethoxyphenyl propylmethylmethoxybenzofuran 1515 01:16:00.960 --> 01:16:04.698 in whatever infernal concoction you've smeared on your mouth. 1516 01:16:04.731 --> 01:16:07.734 -[whimpers] -[Dr Rawlings] This is an antihistamine. 1517 01:16:07.767 --> 01:16:09.202 It'll work straight away. 1518 01:16:10.103 --> 01:16:12.305 It's for the lips. 1519 01:16:12.339 --> 01:16:15.375 They still haven't invented anything for being a twat. 1520 01:16:19.846 --> 01:16:21.147 [slurping] 1521 01:16:21.181 --> 01:16:22.382 [breathing through nose] 1522 01:16:23.817 --> 01:16:24.884 [phone rings] 1523 01:16:28.388 --> 01:16:29.989 Hello. 1524 01:16:30.023 --> 01:16:31.658 [lisping] Yes, this is Bridget. 1525 01:16:33.059 --> 01:16:35.362 Of course! Straight away. 1526 01:16:37.964 --> 01:16:39.132 Yes, yes. 1527 01:16:44.938 --> 01:16:45.939 [Bridget] Daniel. 1528 01:16:47.007 --> 01:16:49.442 Well, by all that's holy, 1529 01:16:49.476 --> 01:16:51.311 Bridget Jones. 1530 01:16:54.014 --> 01:16:54.881 [grunts] 1531 01:16:56.182 --> 01:16:58.184 Nice of you to come, Jones. 1532 01:16:58.218 --> 01:17:00.387 If I'd known, I'd have worn a tinier nightie. 1533 01:17:01.855 --> 01:17:02.822 What happened? 1534 01:17:03.423 --> 01:17:05.091 My heart. 1535 01:17:05.125 --> 01:17:06.459 Two massive surprises. 1536 01:17:06.493 --> 01:17:09.129 One, I have one. Two, it murmurs. 1537 01:17:09.162 --> 01:17:11.865 They've, um, had a listen and I don't know. 1538 01:17:12.766 --> 01:17:14.134 Are you OK? 1539 01:17:14.167 --> 01:17:16.002 Well, I thought I was having a heart attack. 1540 01:17:16.036 --> 01:17:18.438 My whole life passed before my eyes. 1541 01:17:18.471 --> 01:17:20.140 You actually featured prominently, Jones. 1542 01:17:20.173 --> 01:17:21.808 -Hmm. -All the best bits. 1543 01:17:21.841 --> 01:17:23.343 Rome. Mini-break weekend. 1544 01:17:24.210 --> 01:17:26.413 Sodomy in Sainsbury's. 1545 01:17:26.446 --> 01:17:28.048 [chuckles] 1546 01:17:28.081 --> 01:17:30.283 But, uh, mainly, 1547 01:17:30.316 --> 01:17:32.218 it was just me wandering up and down the King's Road 1548 01:17:32.252 --> 01:17:33.953 trying to twinkle at 20-year-olds. 1549 01:17:33.987 --> 01:17:35.488 Mmm. 1550 01:17:35.522 --> 01:17:40.293 Perhaps it's an opportunity for a new beginning. 1551 01:17:40.326 --> 01:17:42.195 Brand-new Daniel. 1552 01:17:42.862 --> 01:17:43.830 Mmm. 1553 01:17:45.165 --> 01:17:47.801 I think I shall stay right here... 1554 01:17:49.336 --> 01:17:50.904 until you agree. 1555 01:17:50.937 --> 01:17:52.939 Well that is kind of you, Bridge, but, um... 1556 01:17:54.074 --> 01:17:55.375 they told me I don't have long. 1557 01:17:55.408 --> 01:17:58.111 -What? -No, no, no. Fuck. No, not that. 1558 01:17:58.144 --> 01:18:00.380 Well, maybe that. No, they, uh... 1559 01:18:00.413 --> 01:18:02.916 they're taking me for some tests in a minute. 1560 01:18:06.820 --> 01:18:10.390 The question is, would we say I've become a fraction tragic? 1561 01:18:10.423 --> 01:18:14.494 They asked me to put down my next of kin. 1562 01:18:14.527 --> 01:18:19.265 And the only person I could think of who might remotely care was you. 1563 01:18:21.201 --> 01:18:23.503 -That's very sweet. -[Daniel] Yeah, but not deliberately. 1564 01:18:23.536 --> 01:18:25.472 The point is, Bridge, how have I arrived 1565 01:18:25.505 --> 01:18:28.074 at this point in my life with no kin? 1566 01:18:28.108 --> 01:18:31.244 How could I possibly be kinless? 1567 01:18:31.277 --> 01:18:34.414 But you're not. You're not kinless. 1568 01:18:34.447 --> 01:18:37.851 Well, I haven't seen Enzo since he was two. 1569 01:18:37.884 --> 01:18:40.487 And he is now being happily raised by his mother 1570 01:18:40.520 --> 01:18:44.024 and an Italian aristocrat who wears his jumper like a shawl. 1571 01:18:47.027 --> 01:18:48.461 So, lucky you, Jones. 1572 01:18:49.863 --> 01:18:51.898 Your two, the way they look at you... 1573 01:18:54.000 --> 01:18:56.436 just makes one realise... 1574 01:18:59.172 --> 01:19:00.907 one's own fuck-ups, really. 1575 01:19:02.475 --> 01:19:04.310 The glory of what might have been. 1576 01:19:09.115 --> 01:19:10.950 [sighs] Did you know... 1577 01:19:12.419 --> 01:19:14.587 it was actually quite good 1578 01:19:14.621 --> 01:19:17.090 with Gisele at the beginning? [clears throat] 1579 01:19:17.123 --> 01:19:18.858 I have to face the fact... 1580 01:19:18.892 --> 01:19:20.393 [coughs] 1581 01:19:20.427 --> 01:19:24.097 ...that it may have been, Jones, love. 1582 01:19:25.031 --> 01:19:26.900 The real thing. 1583 01:19:26.933 --> 01:19:29.135 I still don't know what she was so pissed off about. 1584 01:19:29.169 --> 01:19:30.403 You shagged her sister. 1585 01:19:30.437 --> 01:19:33.106 Once. Massive overreaction. 1586 01:19:33.139 --> 01:19:35.041 [Bridget laughing] 1587 01:19:35.075 --> 01:19:38.211 God, I love you, Daniel. 1588 01:19:38.244 --> 01:19:42.415 Despite your really quite impressive 1589 01:19:42.449 --> 01:19:46.019 lifelong dedication to total fuckwittage. 1590 01:19:46.052 --> 01:19:47.887 Yeah. [sighs] 1591 01:19:49.055 --> 01:19:51.057 There's a lot I don't know. 1592 01:19:52.025 --> 01:19:52.959 An awful lot. 1593 01:19:54.627 --> 01:19:58.398 But I do know that my children would give anything at all 1594 01:19:58.431 --> 01:20:01.134 to have just one day with their dad. 1595 01:20:10.010 --> 01:20:13.113 -[door opens] -[nurse] Time for your obs, Mr Cleaver. 1596 01:20:13.146 --> 01:20:14.514 Oh, right. 1597 01:20:14.547 --> 01:20:16.583 And, again, there is really no need 1598 01:20:16.616 --> 01:20:19.185 for you to remove your gown. 1599 01:20:19.219 --> 01:20:20.320 Sorry. 1600 01:20:20.353 --> 01:20:21.888 [nurse] Okey-doke. 1601 01:20:21.921 --> 01:20:23.256 God. 1602 01:20:23.289 --> 01:20:26.459 Then lights down on the cooking segment. 1603 01:20:26.493 --> 01:20:29.062 Why do I always have to do the cooking bits? 1604 01:20:29.095 --> 01:20:31.498 That chestnut ravioli he cooked last time 1605 01:20:31.531 --> 01:20:33.266 was the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth. 1606 01:20:33.299 --> 01:20:34.901 I highly doubt that. 1607 01:20:34.934 --> 01:20:38.038 And then, Miranda, you cross to the stage. 1608 01:20:38.071 --> 01:20:42.375 "And now, on Better Women, a surprise guest." Blah blah. 1609 01:20:42.409 --> 01:20:44.210 And lights! 1610 01:20:44.244 --> 01:20:45.345 -[cheering] -[music playing] 1611 01:20:45.378 --> 01:20:46.646 * Yeah, I'm a fighter* 1612 01:20:46.680 --> 01:20:48.548 * And I made it through* 1613 01:20:48.581 --> 01:20:50.283 * Solid gold survivor That's...* 1614 01:20:50.316 --> 01:20:52.052 -[Bridget] Hold it! -[music stops] 1615 01:20:52.085 --> 01:20:56.022 Linus, we've got to practise following her with the lights. 1616 01:20:56.056 --> 01:20:57.624 So, uh... 1617 01:20:57.657 --> 01:21:00.527 maybe you could dance a bit? Yeah? 1618 01:21:00.560 --> 01:21:03.163 -Uh... -[Bridget] OK. Go, Linus! 1619 01:21:03.196 --> 01:21:04.631 [music resumes] 1620 01:21:04.664 --> 01:21:06.466 * So give me light* 1621 01:21:06.499 --> 01:21:08.435 * You've got to find Your own road...* 1622 01:21:08.468 --> 01:21:12.105 Can you hold that, please? See, you've got to, you know, go for it. 1623 01:21:12.138 --> 01:21:13.306 * Help me see...* 1624 01:21:13.340 --> 01:21:15.375 'Cause she's going to, you know... 1625 01:21:15.408 --> 01:21:17.410 * And no more light And no more love* 1626 01:21:17.444 --> 01:21:19.412 * It's not over...* 1627 01:21:19.446 --> 01:21:21.514 -[chuckling] -* It's not over* 1628 01:21:21.548 --> 01:21:23.483 * I won't save you when I'm weak* 1629 01:21:23.516 --> 01:21:25.251 * Only got so much left To give* 1630 01:21:25.285 --> 01:21:27.987 * It's not over* 1631 01:21:28.021 --> 01:21:29.122 * It's not over* 1632 01:21:29.155 --> 01:21:30.523 * Till I'm done...* 1633 01:21:30.557 --> 01:21:33.226 [singer vocalising] 1634 01:21:33.259 --> 01:21:34.661 * Till I'm done* 1635 01:21:34.694 --> 01:21:36.196 -[song ends] -[others chuckling] 1636 01:21:36.229 --> 01:21:38.031 -See, Linus? -[Roxster] Hi, B. 1637 01:21:39.566 --> 01:21:41.201 [Bridget] Oh, shit. 1638 01:21:43.136 --> 01:21:44.337 Brought a pie. 1639 01:21:44.371 --> 01:21:47.040 -[bell rings] -[crew chattering] 1640 01:21:47.073 --> 01:21:49.576 [Roxster] Sorry, they just told me to come in. 1641 01:21:51.778 --> 01:21:54.114 [Bridget] You disappeared, Roxster. 1642 01:21:54.147 --> 01:21:55.048 [Roxster] I know. 1643 01:21:55.715 --> 01:21:56.716 I know. 1644 01:22:00.220 --> 01:22:01.988 [sighs] I panicked. 1645 01:22:03.590 --> 01:22:06.059 I got-- I got scared, and I ran. 1646 01:22:07.193 --> 01:22:09.029 But I want this. 1647 01:22:10.130 --> 01:22:11.097 You. 1648 01:22:12.599 --> 01:22:16.069 I thought I wasn't ready, but I am. 1649 01:22:17.070 --> 01:22:18.738 I thought I... 1650 01:22:18.772 --> 01:22:21.141 I don't know, wanted somebody my own age, 1651 01:22:21.174 --> 01:22:23.476 but I don't. 1652 01:22:27.681 --> 01:22:29.582 I love you, Bridget. 1653 01:22:33.319 --> 01:22:35.121 I'm ready for all of it. 1654 01:22:35.155 --> 01:22:37.090 For Billy and Mabel. 1655 01:22:38.158 --> 01:22:39.359 And burnt lasagne. 1656 01:22:39.392 --> 01:22:41.594 And slime. 1657 01:22:41.628 --> 01:22:43.763 [chuckles] And all of it. 1658 01:22:46.099 --> 01:22:47.734 [whispers] I promise you, I am ready. 1659 01:22:50.503 --> 01:22:52.639 [whispers] I'm not sure that matters. 1660 01:22:55.742 --> 01:22:57.777 What do you mean? I don't-- I don't understand. 1661 01:22:57.811 --> 01:23:00.613 [Bridget, voice breaking] You're so lovely, 1662 01:23:02.282 --> 01:23:04.317 and you're going to be 1663 01:23:04.351 --> 01:23:07.554 a brilliant partner and dad. 1664 01:23:07.587 --> 01:23:09.122 And you're going to discover 1665 01:23:09.155 --> 01:23:12.325 all sorts of garbage that will change the world. 1666 01:23:12.359 --> 01:23:14.094 That's not how it works. 1667 01:23:14.127 --> 01:23:15.495 But not with me. 1668 01:23:15.528 --> 01:23:17.197 [exhales] 1669 01:23:21.267 --> 01:23:23.236 I wish I had a time machine too. 1670 01:23:25.305 --> 01:23:26.806 So you could catch up. 1671 01:23:30.677 --> 01:23:32.579 Are you-- Are you sure? 1672 01:23:34.814 --> 01:23:36.116 I am. 1673 01:23:49.863 --> 01:23:51.531 I'll keep the pie, if that's OK. 1674 01:23:51.564 --> 01:23:53.299 [Bridget chuckles] 1675 01:23:57.570 --> 01:23:58.705 Goodbye, Bridget. 1676 01:24:10.750 --> 01:24:12.686 [Bridget] Parents' evening. 1677 01:24:12.719 --> 01:24:15.855 Is there a worse night for the single parent? 1678 01:24:16.856 --> 01:24:18.591 They call it parents' evening 1679 01:24:18.625 --> 01:24:20.827 as if it's a plural. 1680 01:24:20.860 --> 01:24:24.164 As if it's a given that there's two of us. 1681 01:24:25.665 --> 01:24:28.702 Oh, well. Chin up and onward. 1682 01:24:28.735 --> 01:24:30.303 [Walliker] Mrs Darcy. 1683 01:24:31.771 --> 01:24:33.673 It's good to see you. 1684 01:24:33.707 --> 01:24:35.742 Good to be back in the studio. 1685 01:24:37.177 --> 01:24:40.146 [chuckles] The great fruit fly debate. 1686 01:24:41.314 --> 01:24:42.482 Uh... 1687 01:24:42.515 --> 01:24:43.783 Small secret. 1688 01:24:43.817 --> 01:24:45.652 It was about 50 times more interesting 1689 01:24:45.685 --> 01:24:47.787 than that bloody thoracic surgeon. 1690 01:24:47.821 --> 01:24:49.522 And don't get me started on the physicist. 1691 01:24:49.556 --> 01:24:53.226 I mean, they'll hand out Nobels to anyone these days. 1692 01:24:53.259 --> 01:24:55.395 Oh, yeah. [chuckles] 1693 01:24:55.428 --> 01:24:58.398 So, uh, Billy. 1694 01:24:58.431 --> 01:25:01.267 Well, he's, um... he's an excellent cricketer. 1695 01:25:01.301 --> 01:25:02.469 -Mm-hmm. -You know, 1696 01:25:02.502 --> 01:25:03.937 he's a very good young scientist. 1697 01:25:03.970 --> 01:25:06.239 He's... he's got a good brain. 1698 01:25:06.272 --> 01:25:10.677 He's methodical, his experiments are well drawn up. 1699 01:25:10.710 --> 01:25:12.679 Look, I mean, it's just, uh... 1700 01:25:12.712 --> 01:25:14.781 it's excellent work all round. 1701 01:25:16.383 --> 01:25:19.686 -Good. -It's just this, Mrs Darcy. I'm... 1702 01:25:20.887 --> 01:25:22.489 I'm a... 1703 01:25:22.522 --> 01:25:24.557 I'm a bit concerned about him. 1704 01:25:24.591 --> 01:25:27.727 Concerned? Concerned how? What's he done? 1705 01:25:27.761 --> 01:25:30.463 No, he hasn't done anything. He's, um... 1706 01:25:30.497 --> 01:25:32.165 He's just been a bit, uh... 1707 01:25:33.400 --> 01:25:34.701 withdrawn. 1708 01:25:35.502 --> 01:25:36.770 Why is he withdrawn? 1709 01:25:36.803 --> 01:25:38.838 Everything's been all right at home? 1710 01:25:38.872 --> 01:25:41.741 Yes, yes. It's all fine. 1711 01:25:41.775 --> 01:25:43.810 [Walliker] Everything OK with your, um... 1712 01:25:45.879 --> 01:25:47.480 -hairdresser? -[sighs] 1713 01:25:47.514 --> 01:25:50.550 Him? No, but-but yes. Uh... 1714 01:25:50.583 --> 01:25:52.419 He's withdrawn? 1715 01:25:52.452 --> 01:25:55.488 -Well, I don't mean to alarm you. -[door opens] 1716 01:25:55.522 --> 01:25:58.925 -Sorry about that. Yep, exactly. -[Nicolette] Mr Walliker, sorry, sorry. 1717 01:25:58.958 --> 01:26:01.628 We're a couple of minutes early, but these sessions are so short. 1718 01:26:01.661 --> 01:26:03.930 And I have more than a few questions for you. 1719 01:26:03.963 --> 01:26:05.565 You don't mind, do you, Bridget? 1720 01:26:05.598 --> 01:26:07.767 We do have the two boys, so... 1721 01:26:07.801 --> 01:26:10.837 Not at all. No. That's... It's fine. 1722 01:26:13.039 --> 01:26:15.675 -Mate, I'm gonna have to put you on mute. -[Nicolette] Thank you. 1723 01:26:15.709 --> 01:26:17.944 -[Nicolette] Right. -[Victor] I've got parents' evening. 1724 01:26:28.855 --> 01:26:31.358 [owl hoots] 1725 01:26:37.597 --> 01:26:39.532 [hoots] 1726 01:26:39.566 --> 01:26:41.301 Mark Darcy, the leading 1727 01:26:41.334 --> 01:26:43.970 international humanitarian rights lawyer, 1728 01:26:44.004 --> 01:26:46.973 was killed this morning in the Darfur region in Sudan. 1729 01:26:47.007 --> 01:26:49.509 [reporter] ...a land mine. The 55-year-old was in 1730 01:26:49.542 --> 01:26:51.778 the war-torn region after joining international efforts... 1731 01:26:51.811 --> 01:26:54.447 Mr Darcy was a leading international figure in human rights 1732 01:26:54.481 --> 01:26:55.815 and crisis resolution... 1733 01:26:55.849 --> 01:26:57.450 [reporter 2] ...gained global recognition 1734 01:26:57.484 --> 01:26:59.786 with the Kafir Aghani and Eleanor Heaney case, 1735 01:26:59.819 --> 01:27:01.354 which, of course, he won. 1736 01:27:01.388 --> 01:27:03.790 He leaves behind his wife, Bridget Jones, 1737 01:27:03.823 --> 01:27:06.626 and their two young children, Billy and Mabel. 1738 01:27:06.659 --> 01:27:10.363 -More on this story as we get it. -[breathes deeply] 1739 01:28:06.986 --> 01:28:08.555 [Bridget] Dearest darling Mark, 1740 01:28:10.156 --> 01:28:12.659 it's your birthday on Sunday, and... 1741 01:28:12.692 --> 01:28:14.427 [breathes deeply] 1742 01:28:14.461 --> 01:28:17.630 ...I'm just no good at doing this on my own. 1743 01:28:19.933 --> 01:28:22.002 I'm sorry I'm such a bad mother. 1744 01:28:22.035 --> 01:28:25.672 I'm sorry I got caught up with a callow toy boy. 1745 01:28:25.705 --> 01:28:29.509 I'm sorry I'm late for school and that Billy's withdrawn. 1746 01:28:31.111 --> 01:28:33.113 They're growing up without you. 1747 01:28:34.714 --> 01:28:36.049 How is Billy going to understand 1748 01:28:36.082 --> 01:28:39.419 how to be a man without his father? 1749 01:28:39.452 --> 01:28:41.454 How is Mabel going to live her life 1750 01:28:41.488 --> 01:28:43.490 having never really known you at all? 1751 01:28:44.858 --> 01:28:46.559 Please forgive me for being upset 1752 01:28:46.593 --> 01:28:50.096 about anything which isn't about not having you. 1753 01:28:50.130 --> 01:28:53.033 Please help me find a way to do this 1754 01:28:53.066 --> 01:28:57.470 without feeling like I'm ruining the most important part of my life. 1755 01:28:59.939 --> 01:29:02.475 The only part that still has you in it. 1756 01:29:17.490 --> 01:29:20.760 I have to put down how many tickets we need for my Christmas concert. 1757 01:29:20.794 --> 01:29:23.129 -Mm-hmm. -Should I put down two? For you and Mabel? 1758 01:29:23.163 --> 01:29:24.064 Put three. 1759 01:29:24.097 --> 01:29:27.600 Mabel, me and Chloe. 1760 01:29:27.634 --> 01:29:29.602 OK. Three. 1761 01:29:30.570 --> 01:29:31.571 Finished. 1762 01:29:31.604 --> 01:29:32.605 [Billy] Me too. 1763 01:29:35.809 --> 01:29:37.143 [Bridget gasps] 1764 01:29:41.981 --> 01:29:44.050 Daddy will love these. 1765 01:29:44.751 --> 01:29:46.152 They're perfect. 1766 01:29:46.186 --> 01:29:47.153 Yes. 1767 01:29:47.187 --> 01:29:48.755 Did you write one, Mummy? 1768 01:29:48.788 --> 01:29:50.156 I did. 1769 01:29:50.190 --> 01:29:52.492 Tomorrow, can we post them to Daddy? 1770 01:29:52.525 --> 01:29:53.626 Of course we can. 1771 01:29:54.527 --> 01:29:55.495 [chuckles] 1772 01:29:55.528 --> 01:29:56.529 [kisses] 1773 01:30:01.534 --> 01:30:04.204 [Bridget] And Mark's birthday came as it always did... 1774 01:30:06.539 --> 01:30:10.910 like all the celebrations, Christmases and anniversaries. 1775 01:30:10.944 --> 01:30:13.713 All the love and all the pain. 1776 01:30:18.284 --> 01:30:19.552 [exhales] 1777 01:30:20.553 --> 01:30:22.555 OK. Ready? 1778 01:30:23.823 --> 01:30:24.991 On three. 1779 01:30:25.925 --> 01:30:29.462 One, two... 1780 01:30:37.070 --> 01:30:39.506 What am I going to do when I get to-- 1781 01:30:39.539 --> 01:30:40.707 ...three. 1782 01:31:24.918 --> 01:31:28.154 [Bridget] What I have is what I love most in the world. 1783 01:31:28.922 --> 01:31:30.924 Billy and Mabel. 1784 01:31:30.957 --> 01:31:32.759 Just the three of us. 1785 01:31:39.332 --> 01:31:41.835 ["Should I Stay or Should I Go" playing] 1786 01:31:41.868 --> 01:31:43.870 * Whoo!* 1787 01:31:43.903 --> 01:31:46.006 -[Bridget] Mr Walliker. -Mrs Darcy. 1788 01:31:46.039 --> 01:31:48.074 * Darling, you got to let me Know...* 1789 01:31:48.108 --> 01:31:49.876 [student] Billy! 1790 01:31:49.909 --> 01:31:51.778 -[Billy] Hello! -[student 2] Hello! 1791 01:31:51.811 --> 01:31:52.779 Ready? 1792 01:31:54.647 --> 01:31:58.018 [Bridget, children] * If you say that you are mine* 1793 01:31:58.051 --> 01:32:01.087 * I'll be here till the end Of time* 1794 01:32:02.922 --> 01:32:07.260 * So you got to let me know* 1795 01:32:07.293 --> 01:32:09.796 * Should I stay Or should I go?* 1796 01:32:11.364 --> 01:32:14.167 * Should I stay Or should I go now?* 1797 01:32:15.301 --> 01:32:18.571 * Should I stay Or should I go now?* 1798 01:32:20.106 --> 01:32:24.044 * If I go There will be trouble* 1799 01:32:24.077 --> 01:32:28.048 * And if I stay It will be double* 1800 01:32:28.081 --> 01:32:32.619 * So you gotta let me know* 1801 01:32:32.652 --> 01:32:35.321 * Should I stay Or should I go?* 1802 01:32:35.355 --> 01:32:36.890 Have a good walk, then. 1803 01:32:36.923 --> 01:32:37.924 [Walliker] Thank you. 1804 01:32:37.957 --> 01:32:40.126 [students] Bye. 1805 01:32:40.927 --> 01:32:42.095 All right, come in. 1806 01:32:42.796 --> 01:32:43.763 Now... 1807 01:32:46.066 --> 01:32:50.103 what this is not is a "walk." 1808 01:32:51.071 --> 01:32:53.039 We are about to embark as a team 1809 01:32:53.073 --> 01:32:55.809 on an orienteering adventure. 1810 01:32:55.842 --> 01:32:58.244 -So do you each have your compasses? -[students] Yes! 1811 01:32:58.278 --> 01:33:00.814 -Do you each have your maps? -Yes! 1812 01:33:00.847 --> 01:33:03.149 [Walliker] Right then, you know your groups. Hands up, Otters! 1813 01:33:03.183 --> 01:33:07.220 You'll go along with Mr Collins and Bikram's mum, Mrs Pasricha. 1814 01:33:07.253 --> 01:33:11.224 Billy's mum, Mrs Darcy. You've drawn the short straw, I'm afraid. 1815 01:33:11.257 --> 01:33:12.959 You'll be joining me and the Ospreys. 1816 01:33:12.992 --> 01:33:15.829 Now, this is very important. 1817 01:33:15.862 --> 01:33:20.266 Remember to open your eyes and look around. 1818 01:33:21.167 --> 01:33:22.268 This is one of the most 1819 01:33:22.302 --> 01:33:24.871 beautiful places on earth. 1820 01:33:26.806 --> 01:33:28.008 Enjoy it. 1821 01:33:28.041 --> 01:33:29.275 Let's go. 1822 01:33:31.344 --> 01:33:35.048 -You sure you're up to this, Mrs Darcy? -Absolutely! 1823 01:33:35.081 --> 01:33:36.416 I was a Queen's Guide. 1824 01:33:36.449 --> 01:33:39.352 -[chuckles] -[Bridget] Got my Pioneer badge. 1825 01:33:39.386 --> 01:33:42.989 I can rope, knot, splice and lash. 1826 01:33:43.023 --> 01:33:45.258 If you need anything tied up, 1827 01:33:45.291 --> 01:33:47.827 I'm your girl. [groans] 1828 01:33:47.861 --> 01:33:50.230 -[Walliker] Right then. Bring up the rear. -[students giggle] 1829 01:33:52.198 --> 01:33:54.901 Yes! Bringing up the rear! 1830 01:33:54.934 --> 01:33:56.336 Up! 1831 01:33:56.369 --> 01:33:58.171 We're gonna see much more water than that. 1832 01:33:58.204 --> 01:33:59.305 [Bridget] Up the rear! 1833 01:34:01.374 --> 01:34:02.375 Yep. 1834 01:34:02.409 --> 01:34:04.310 Make sure everybody's with us. 1835 01:34:05.178 --> 01:34:07.347 [students chattering] 1836 01:34:17.023 --> 01:34:18.324 [Walliker chuckles] 1837 01:34:23.329 --> 01:34:25.965 [Walliker] You can see the second waterfall, can't you? 1838 01:34:27.233 --> 01:34:28.335 [children chattering] 1839 01:34:28.368 --> 01:34:30.437 Well, those two are together. 1840 01:34:34.908 --> 01:34:36.810 [thunder rumbling] 1841 01:34:41.047 --> 01:34:42.182 [student shouting] 1842 01:34:42.215 --> 01:34:43.383 Coming! 1843 01:34:47.187 --> 01:34:48.822 [Walliker] Hurry along. Come on! 1844 01:34:55.895 --> 01:34:57.897 -[Walliker] Give me your hand. -Wow. So cool. 1845 01:34:57.931 --> 01:34:58.965 OK. 1846 01:35:01.101 --> 01:35:02.035 Right. 1847 01:35:03.103 --> 01:35:04.471 Is there a Wi-Fi password? 1848 01:35:04.504 --> 01:35:06.206 Oh, Atticus, don't be a pillock. 1849 01:35:06.239 --> 01:35:07.941 All right, take this tarp 1850 01:35:07.974 --> 01:35:09.843 and spread it out on the floor over there, all right? 1851 01:35:09.876 --> 01:35:11.311 [Billy] Come on. 1852 01:35:11.344 --> 01:35:13.847 [Bridget] It's all right. It's dry. [chuckles] 1853 01:35:16.816 --> 01:35:19.519 [Walliker] Mrs Darcy, could you take that wheelbarrow, 1854 01:35:19.552 --> 01:35:21.788 pick up some firewood for when the rain stops? 1855 01:35:21.821 --> 01:35:23.356 Yep. 1856 01:35:23.390 --> 01:35:25.825 [Walliker] All right, everyone. Do your best to get dry. 1857 01:35:29.329 --> 01:35:31.498 [Bridget] Ding-fucking-dong. 1858 01:35:31.531 --> 01:35:32.999 Whenever you're ready. 1859 01:35:43.543 --> 01:35:45.445 [Walliker] Looks like we'll be here for a while. 1860 01:35:48.982 --> 01:35:51.518 [fire crackling] 1861 01:35:57.257 --> 01:35:59.325 It really is absolutely disgusting. 1862 01:35:59.359 --> 01:36:01.861 [chuckles] Burnt to a crisp. 1863 01:36:01.895 --> 01:36:03.963 I think you'll find it's a brûlée. 1864 01:36:03.997 --> 01:36:05.131 [exhales] 1865 01:36:05.165 --> 01:36:06.299 [chuckles] 1866 01:36:07.400 --> 01:36:08.401 [Bridget] Come on, then. 1867 01:36:08.435 --> 01:36:10.203 Off to Bedfordshire. 1868 01:36:10.236 --> 01:36:12.072 [student 4] Goodnight, Mr Walliker. 1869 01:36:12.105 --> 01:36:14.307 -[Bridget] Here we are. -[Walliker] Sleep well, team. 1870 01:36:14.341 --> 01:36:16.409 -Well done today. -[student 4] Thank you. 1871 01:36:16.443 --> 01:36:18.111 Okay. Night night. 1872 01:36:19.579 --> 01:36:20.580 Goodnight. 1873 01:36:29.422 --> 01:36:31.491 -Mission accomplished. -[Walliker chuckles] 1874 01:36:31.524 --> 01:36:34.928 One barnful of sleeping children. 1875 01:36:34.961 --> 01:36:38.164 Don't get me wrong, I'm quite impressed by your resourcefulness, 1876 01:36:38.198 --> 01:36:39.933 but who travels to the Lake District 1877 01:36:39.966 --> 01:36:42.168 with a backpack full of marshmallows? [chuckles] 1878 01:36:42.202 --> 01:36:45.271 All parents know the marshmallow 1879 01:36:45.305 --> 01:36:48.208 is an essential tool, Mr Walliker. 1880 01:36:48.241 --> 01:36:50.143 [both chuckling] 1881 01:36:52.979 --> 01:36:54.881 Do you have children? 1882 01:36:54.914 --> 01:36:57.350 Uh, no. No, no, I never did any of that. 1883 01:36:58.351 --> 01:37:00.420 But, um... 1884 01:37:00.453 --> 01:37:02.055 It's funny. In the back of your mind, 1885 01:37:02.088 --> 01:37:04.324 you think it might happen, and-- [sighs] 1886 01:37:04.357 --> 01:37:06.192 But, you know, one day, 1887 01:37:06.226 --> 01:37:09.129 you're preparing a test for a periodic table... 1888 01:37:09.162 --> 01:37:13.533 -[chuckles] -...and you realise it's the 27th one you've set, 1889 01:37:13.566 --> 01:37:15.969 and there's just never been time 1890 01:37:16.002 --> 01:37:18.304 to really think about having anything like a... 1891 01:37:18.338 --> 01:37:20.106 like a family in between. 1892 01:37:24.277 --> 01:37:25.445 But it's good. 1893 01:37:26.413 --> 01:37:28.348 It's good. I, uh... 1894 01:37:28.381 --> 01:37:29.649 Well, it suits me. 1895 01:37:31.284 --> 01:37:32.419 Mmm. 1896 01:37:33.987 --> 01:37:35.155 I see it does. 1897 01:37:35.188 --> 01:37:36.523 [both chuckle] 1898 01:37:38.391 --> 01:37:39.926 I mean, look at that. 1899 01:37:43.396 --> 01:37:44.531 All of it. 1900 01:37:47.400 --> 01:37:52.205 You asked me where's the wonder and the magic. 1901 01:37:54.341 --> 01:37:55.675 It's a good question. 1902 01:37:58.111 --> 01:37:59.412 I think it's here. 1903 01:38:00.680 --> 01:38:03.516 You don't believe in magic, Mr Walliker. 1904 01:38:03.550 --> 01:38:04.951 [Walliker] No. 1905 01:38:06.286 --> 01:38:07.687 Well, I've been thinking. 1906 01:38:14.160 --> 01:38:15.562 [both chuckle] 1907 01:38:19.132 --> 01:38:20.266 [Billy] Mummy? 1908 01:38:20.300 --> 01:38:21.735 Atticus is really frightened. 1909 01:38:21.768 --> 01:38:24.738 He says his mum sings Puccini to him when he's scared. 1910 01:38:24.771 --> 01:38:29.275 Well, he might have to settle for some early Take That, 1911 01:38:29.309 --> 01:38:31.711 but I'll see what I can do, okay? 1912 01:38:33.046 --> 01:38:34.414 Mr Walliker, 1913 01:38:34.447 --> 01:38:36.516 do you mind if I sit here for a minute? 1914 01:38:36.549 --> 01:38:38.218 Of course. Sit down. 1915 01:38:53.566 --> 01:38:55.602 -Is there anything you want to-- -It's just... 1916 01:38:56.503 --> 01:38:58.038 what if I forget him? 1917 01:38:59.205 --> 01:39:00.640 I don't wanna forget him. 1918 01:39:01.608 --> 01:39:03.476 But what if I do? 1919 01:39:10.083 --> 01:39:12.218 Let me tell you this, Billy, um... 1920 01:39:14.254 --> 01:39:18.091 Your dad is everywhere. 1921 01:39:20.193 --> 01:39:21.227 He's everywhere. 1922 01:39:22.095 --> 01:39:23.096 Right now... 1923 01:39:25.065 --> 01:39:26.533 in this moment. 1924 01:39:26.566 --> 01:39:28.768 And that's a scientific fact. 1925 01:39:30.337 --> 01:39:34.240 Energy is only transferred. 1926 01:39:35.342 --> 01:39:36.676 It can never be destroyed. 1927 01:39:37.544 --> 01:39:39.446 And more importantly, 1928 01:39:39.479 --> 01:39:41.548 your father is in you. 1929 01:39:43.516 --> 01:39:44.784 And Mabel. 1930 01:39:50.557 --> 01:39:52.058 Billy, tell me something... 1931 01:39:54.594 --> 01:39:55.762 one thing... 1932 01:39:57.197 --> 01:39:58.598 that you remember best 1933 01:39:59.366 --> 01:40:01.034 about your dad. 1934 01:40:09.275 --> 01:40:11.644 ["Turn on the Lights" plays] 1935 01:40:11.678 --> 01:40:15.849 * Another Christmas Is around the corner* 1936 01:40:15.882 --> 01:40:20.286 * And I can feel us, darling Getting closer* 1937 01:40:20.320 --> 01:40:24.257 * It's coming down the road And stopping it now* 1938 01:40:24.290 --> 01:40:28.194 * Stopping it now Is impossible...* 1939 01:40:28.228 --> 01:40:29.162 Can we? 1940 01:40:30.296 --> 01:40:31.664 -May we. -Yes. 1941 01:40:31.698 --> 01:40:34.467 * I built a snowman out The back* 1942 01:40:34.501 --> 01:40:39.272 * It came alive And flew me Round this sleepy town* 1943 01:40:39.305 --> 01:40:42.342 * I put an old scarf round Its neck...* 1944 01:40:42.375 --> 01:40:43.810 [Bridget] Careful! 1945 01:40:43.843 --> 01:40:45.378 * And every time You kiss me...* 1946 01:40:45.412 --> 01:40:46.479 [Walliker] Chop-chop. 1947 01:40:46.513 --> 01:40:47.814 One, two. One, two. 1948 01:40:47.847 --> 01:40:49.416 [Bridget] May I have your hot chocolate? 1949 01:40:49.449 --> 01:40:52.218 -[Mabel] No. No! Marshmallows! -[Bridget] Yes. Yes. 1950 01:40:52.252 --> 01:40:55.422 [Walliker] Mabel, why don't I take you to your seat? Come on. 1951 01:40:55.455 --> 01:40:57.157 -Is that all right? -[Mabel giggles] 1952 01:40:57.190 --> 01:40:58.358 [Walliker chuckles] 1953 01:40:58.391 --> 01:41:00.527 -Don't dawdle, Mrs Darcy. -No. 1954 01:41:00.560 --> 01:41:02.162 Show's starting. 1955 01:41:02.195 --> 01:41:04.297 Yes, of course. 1956 01:41:04.330 --> 01:41:06.800 [flutes playing, off-key] 1957 01:41:13.573 --> 01:41:15.108 [shushes] 1958 01:41:17.744 --> 01:41:19.646 -That sounds fantastic. -[Nicolette] Yeah. 1959 01:41:19.679 --> 01:41:21.314 I'll see you at Nobu at 7.00. 1960 01:41:21.348 --> 01:41:23.717 -Oh, for God's sake, Victor. -[earbud clattering] 1961 01:41:23.750 --> 01:41:25.685 Fucking prick. 1962 01:41:28.621 --> 01:41:30.390 -[flute ends] -[chuckles] 1963 01:41:30.423 --> 01:41:33.626 Bravo! Bravo. 1964 01:41:38.298 --> 01:41:40.900 [Walliker] Thank you, Eros and Atticus Soltani-Watkins. 1965 01:41:42.268 --> 01:41:44.604 Now, although it's not on the programme, 1966 01:41:44.637 --> 01:41:47.340 we do have one-- one more song. 1967 01:41:47.374 --> 01:41:51.444 Um, I happen to know it means a lot to our singer. 1968 01:41:51.478 --> 01:41:55.682 And, um... well, this is his first-ever solo performance, 1969 01:41:56.816 --> 01:41:58.718 and I know he'll do himself proud. 1970 01:42:19.339 --> 01:42:21.741 ["Anything" playing] 1971 01:42:30.417 --> 01:42:34.721 * I'd do anything* 1972 01:42:34.754 --> 01:42:39.659 * For you, dear, anything* 1973 01:42:39.693 --> 01:42:44.597 * For you mean everything* 1974 01:42:44.631 --> 01:42:48.601 * To me* 1975 01:42:48.635 --> 01:42:50.503 * I know that* 1976 01:42:50.537 --> 01:42:54.474 * I'd go anywhere* 1977 01:42:54.507 --> 01:42:59.612 * For your smile, anywhere* 1978 01:42:59.646 --> 01:43:02.549 * For your smile* 1979 01:43:02.582 --> 01:43:08.688 * Everywhere I'd see* 1980 01:43:08.722 --> 01:43:11.691 * Would you climb a hill?* 1981 01:43:11.725 --> 01:43:13.293 -* Anything* -[audience chuckles] 1982 01:43:13.326 --> 01:43:17.931 * Wear a daffodil? Anything* 1983 01:43:17.964 --> 01:43:22.502 * Leave me all your will? Anything* 1984 01:43:22.535 --> 01:43:25.839 * Even fight my Bill?* 1985 01:43:25.872 --> 01:43:27.841 * What? Fisticuffs?* 1986 01:43:27.874 --> 01:43:31.878 -* I'd risk everything* -[choir harmonising] 1987 01:43:31.911 --> 01:43:36.549 * For one kiss, everything* 1988 01:43:36.583 --> 01:43:41.488 * Yes, I'd do anything* 1989 01:43:41.521 --> 01:43:43.723 * Anything* 1990 01:43:43.757 --> 01:43:48.862 * For you* 1991 01:43:48.895 --> 01:43:51.331 [music ends] 1992 01:43:51.364 --> 01:43:52.866 [audience applauds] 1993 01:43:56.036 --> 01:43:57.837 [cheering] 1994 01:44:00.573 --> 01:44:01.641 [Chloe whoops] 1995 01:44:01.675 --> 01:44:02.809 Go, Billy! 1996 01:44:07.514 --> 01:44:08.448 [Walliker] Bravo! 1997 01:44:15.588 --> 01:44:17.557 [applause fades] 1998 01:44:21.828 --> 01:44:23.296 [applause silenced] 1999 01:44:43.416 --> 01:44:45.385 Oh, my darling. 2000 01:44:45.418 --> 01:44:46.553 [sobs] 2001 01:44:47.687 --> 01:44:50.657 Daddy would be so proud of you. 2002 01:44:50.690 --> 01:44:51.825 I know. 2003 01:44:54.127 --> 01:44:55.962 [Walliker] Well done, Billy. You nailed it. 2004 01:44:55.995 --> 01:44:58.398 -Were you surprised, Mum? -Yes. 2005 01:44:58.431 --> 01:45:00.467 -Genius. -Up top. 2006 01:45:00.500 --> 01:45:02.402 [Walliker, Billy chuckle] 2007 01:45:02.435 --> 01:45:04.971 -So, can I have a sleepover with Bikram? -Yes. 2008 01:45:05.005 --> 01:45:06.940 -And did you bring my-- -Yes. 2009 01:45:06.973 --> 01:45:09.109 Bikram! Nintendo! 2010 01:45:10.944 --> 01:45:13.847 Mr Walliker, Billy was... 2011 01:45:13.880 --> 01:45:16.016 The whole thing was... [chuckles] 2012 01:45:16.049 --> 01:45:19.452 -It was-- -It was magic, Mrs Darcy. 2013 01:45:19.486 --> 01:45:21.121 [Bridget] No, it wasn't. 2014 01:45:21.154 --> 01:45:23.456 What you've done for Billy... 2015 01:45:23.490 --> 01:45:24.824 [stammers] 2016 01:45:24.858 --> 01:45:27.394 People talk about moving on like it means, 2017 01:45:27.427 --> 01:45:29.829 you know, leaving something behind, 2018 01:45:29.863 --> 01:45:31.965 you know, leaving someone you love behind, 2019 01:45:31.998 --> 01:45:34.534 but perhaps it's more that suddenly you see 2020 01:45:34.567 --> 01:45:37.904 you can live at the same time as all the things you've lost, 2021 01:45:37.937 --> 01:45:42.108 and that you can be happy even without them. 2022 01:45:42.142 --> 01:45:44.978 And tonight, I saw my son up there 2023 01:45:45.011 --> 01:45:48.715 and I understood for the first time in four years 2024 01:45:48.748 --> 01:45:50.850 that he's going to be okay. 2025 01:45:50.884 --> 01:45:52.919 And so, we're going to be okay. 2026 01:45:52.952 --> 01:45:54.688 And you did that, Mr Walliker. 2027 01:45:54.721 --> 01:45:56.089 It wasn't magic. 2028 01:45:57.023 --> 01:45:58.992 It was you. 2029 01:45:59.025 --> 01:46:03.730 So, I'll overlook your tendency to be a little aloof-- 2030 01:46:03.763 --> 01:46:05.799 Some might call it condescending. 2031 01:46:05.832 --> 01:46:07.600 Supercilious is a good word 2032 01:46:07.634 --> 01:46:11.471 and you probably don't hear it enough, but the point is... 2033 01:46:14.607 --> 01:46:15.675 thank you. 2034 01:46:17.844 --> 01:46:19.012 [Nicolette] Mr Walliker? 2035 01:46:20.647 --> 01:46:23.049 We're going to The Spaniards for a drink. 2036 01:46:23.083 --> 01:46:26.753 Um, and if you wanted to come, 2037 01:46:26.786 --> 01:46:29.222 well, we'd be there 2038 01:46:29.255 --> 01:46:33.793 because that's where we'll be. 2039 01:46:33.827 --> 01:46:36.996 [Nicolette] Can't be taught. Can't be taught. It was unbelievable. 2040 01:46:37.030 --> 01:46:38.898 -Mrs Darcy. -The flautists, an absolute triumph. 2041 01:46:38.932 --> 01:46:41.101 [Francesca] One of the best Christmas shows I've ever seen. 2042 01:46:41.134 --> 01:46:43.636 [Nicolette] Christmas shows don't get much better than that. Extraordinary. 2043 01:46:43.670 --> 01:46:45.839 No, it doesn't. Don't look at me like that. 2044 01:46:45.872 --> 01:46:47.707 -[Shazzer] Billy! How did it go? -Billy! 2045 01:46:47.741 --> 01:46:48.875 -I did a solo. -[Jude] Oh! 2046 01:46:48.908 --> 01:46:50.176 Congratulations. 2047 01:46:50.210 --> 01:46:52.512 Come here. Have a squidge. 2048 01:46:52.545 --> 01:46:54.514 He was brilliant. 2049 01:46:54.547 --> 01:46:56.182 -Hello, Mabel. How are you? -[Shazzer] Well done. I bet you were. 2050 01:46:56.216 --> 01:46:58.118 -Chloe has a video. -[Tom] You look lovely. 2051 01:46:58.151 --> 01:46:59.753 -[Shazzer] There's a video? -[Jude] A video? 2052 01:46:59.786 --> 01:47:01.021 [Shazzer] Chloe? Video? 2053 01:47:02.589 --> 01:47:03.890 [Tom] Congratulations. 2054 01:47:03.923 --> 01:47:05.525 Hi. Uh, four, uh... 2055 01:47:05.558 --> 01:47:07.694 large glasses of white wine, please. 2056 01:47:07.727 --> 01:47:09.062 [Shazzer] Wine. Wine. 2057 01:47:09.095 --> 01:47:11.131 Oh, house white. Party petrol. 2058 01:47:11.164 --> 01:47:13.767 -[Billy] Bikram's here! -[server] Your wine, ladies. 2059 01:47:13.800 --> 01:47:16.803 -[Chloe] What are you doing down there? -Nothing. 2060 01:47:16.836 --> 01:47:19.005 -[Shazzer] Well, there we go. -Congratulations, darling. 2061 01:47:19.039 --> 01:47:21.041 -To Billy. -He was wonderful. Billy. 2062 01:47:21.074 --> 01:47:23.209 -Absolutely wonderful. -[Shazzer] Yes. 2063 01:47:23.243 --> 01:47:26.513 But I can tell you, I... I knew from his glow it was a triumph. 2064 01:47:26.546 --> 01:47:28.148 -[Bridget chuckles] -No, honestly. 2065 01:47:28.181 --> 01:47:30.116 I mean, once you've tasted success... 2066 01:47:30.150 --> 01:47:32.285 [Bridget, Shazzer laughing] 2067 01:47:32.318 --> 01:47:34.154 [Jude] You had literally one song, Tom. 2068 01:47:34.187 --> 01:47:36.690 Yes, you know, my mother always says 2069 01:47:36.723 --> 01:47:39.192 if you've got nothing nice to say, then shut the fuck up. 2070 01:47:39.225 --> 01:47:41.061 Your mother's right, so shut the fuck up. 2071 01:47:41.094 --> 01:47:43.096 [Shazzer] We should never shut the fuck up. 2072 01:47:43.129 --> 01:47:45.565 Stop telling everyone else to shut the fuck up. 2073 01:47:45.598 --> 01:47:47.567 [Tom] We can, yes. 2074 01:47:47.600 --> 01:47:48.568 [chattering within] 2075 01:47:50.270 --> 01:47:52.872 -[Billy] No. Come on. -[Bikram] Good overtaking. 2076 01:47:52.906 --> 01:47:54.674 No, I didn't. That was him. 2077 01:47:54.708 --> 01:47:56.543 Mum. That way. 2078 01:48:03.283 --> 01:48:04.751 [Bridget] Mr Walliker! 2079 01:48:06.686 --> 01:48:07.854 Aren't you coming in? 2080 01:48:07.887 --> 01:48:09.856 Well, actually, I was. I... 2081 01:48:09.889 --> 01:48:11.758 I wanted to say something to you, 2082 01:48:11.791 --> 01:48:13.259 but it's the wrong time. 2083 01:48:13.293 --> 01:48:15.662 You're there with everyone, and... [stammers] 2084 01:48:15.695 --> 01:48:18.231 I'm better with people about 4 foot tall. [chuckles] 2085 01:48:18.264 --> 01:48:22.035 4'1". That's my sweet spot, as it turns out, so... 2086 01:48:23.136 --> 01:48:24.804 Where are you going? 2087 01:48:29.843 --> 01:48:32.679 Well, look, I really just wanted to discuss Newton. 2088 01:48:32.712 --> 01:48:34.314 Newton? 2089 01:48:34.347 --> 01:48:37.350 I mean, we already covered Newton's second law, gravity, 2090 01:48:37.384 --> 01:48:39.919 in the tree when you were pretending not to be stuck. 2091 01:48:39.953 --> 01:48:43.790 But the one that's always fascinated me isn't the second law. 2092 01:48:43.823 --> 01:48:46.960 I mean, any idiot can see that an apple's gonna fall down. 2093 01:48:46.993 --> 01:48:48.294 What's it gonna do, fall up? 2094 01:48:48.328 --> 01:48:50.597 It's a hopelessly overrated law, the second. 2095 01:48:50.630 --> 01:48:53.800 No, the one that's always interested me is the third law. 2096 01:48:53.833 --> 01:48:55.301 You'll know what that is. 2097 01:48:55.335 --> 01:48:56.636 Yes. 2098 01:48:56.670 --> 01:48:59.606 [chuckles] Of course. But go on. 2099 01:48:59.639 --> 01:49:03.143 For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. 2100 01:49:03.176 --> 01:49:05.245 It's a fundamental law of our universe. 2101 01:49:05.278 --> 01:49:07.781 It's, uh... It's an inescapable fact of our existence, 2102 01:49:07.814 --> 01:49:09.883 and I was coming to say that you are... 2103 01:49:11.051 --> 01:49:14.087 this force, Mrs Darcy... 2104 01:49:15.321 --> 01:49:16.256 to me. 2105 01:49:18.191 --> 01:49:21.795 Equal and... opposite. 2106 01:49:21.828 --> 01:49:26.299 And just as Newton predicted, it's irresistible. 2107 01:49:28.835 --> 01:49:29.803 I see it. 2108 01:49:32.105 --> 01:49:34.641 Right now, just standing here, I feel it, 2109 01:49:34.674 --> 01:49:38.078 and it's as real to me as the things I loved when I was a boy 2110 01:49:38.111 --> 01:49:40.080 and first started looking at the world. 2111 01:49:40.113 --> 01:49:42.716 You see, it's not really order 2112 01:49:42.749 --> 01:49:46.052 that we science people fall in love with, Mrs Darcy, 2113 01:49:46.086 --> 01:49:48.121 it's the beauty in things. 2114 01:49:50.857 --> 01:49:52.125 The beauty, 2115 01:49:52.892 --> 01:49:54.227 to be specific... 2116 01:49:57.864 --> 01:49:59.199 in you. 2117 01:50:03.903 --> 01:50:05.205 Oh. 2118 01:50:06.072 --> 01:50:08.408 Oh, I'm... I'm sorry. 2119 01:50:08.441 --> 01:50:10.343 -I don't know what I was thinking. -No, no. 2120 01:50:10.377 --> 01:50:12.345 This is exactly why I decided not to come in. 2121 01:50:12.379 --> 01:50:14.347 I've clearly got entirely the wrong end of the-- 2122 01:50:14.381 --> 01:50:15.982 -Mr Walliker... -Look, I just want you to know 2123 01:50:16.016 --> 01:50:17.951 that this is not going to be awkward at all. At all. 2124 01:50:17.984 --> 01:50:20.687 -Please stop talking. [shushing] -With Billy and school. 2125 01:50:20.720 --> 01:50:22.956 Let's just pretend this never happened, please. Let's just-- 2126 01:50:39.039 --> 01:50:41.408 It was either that or a whistle, 2127 01:50:41.441 --> 01:50:44.444 and I haven't got a whistle, Mr Walliker. 2128 01:50:46.913 --> 01:50:48.448 Call me Scott, for God's sake. 2129 01:50:50.316 --> 01:50:51.851 Yes, Mr Walliker. 2130 01:51:02.429 --> 01:51:04.464 ["Am I the Same Girl" playing] 2131 01:51:09.803 --> 01:51:12.906 Right, shake it, shake it, shake it. No, go mad. 2132 01:51:12.939 --> 01:51:14.407 That's it. Now pour it out. 2133 01:51:15.475 --> 01:51:16.443 Very good. 2134 01:51:17.210 --> 01:51:19.279 Insert one cherry. 2135 01:51:19.312 --> 01:51:22.716 And that, my friends, is how we make a Dirty Bitch. 2136 01:51:24.784 --> 01:51:28.054 Christ. That may even be a Filthy Bitch. Pass that round. 2137 01:51:28.088 --> 01:51:30.957 Now, similar but not at all the same, 2138 01:51:31.825 --> 01:51:33.026 the Bad Mummy. 2139 01:51:33.059 --> 01:51:34.928 Little bit of vodka. 2140 01:51:34.961 --> 01:51:36.363 -Yeah? -Come here. 2141 01:51:36.396 --> 01:51:38.365 Okay, you're in charge. 2142 01:51:42.569 --> 01:51:44.037 [exclaims] 2143 01:51:44.070 --> 01:51:45.939 Is that who I think it is? 2144 01:51:45.972 --> 01:51:48.141 So they tell me, yeah. What do you think? 2145 01:51:48.174 --> 01:51:50.377 [Enzo] You have sad eyes, angelo mio. 2146 01:51:50.410 --> 01:51:53.046 Why so sad? They make me sad. 2147 01:51:53.079 --> 01:51:54.814 I want to see the smile. 2148 01:51:54.848 --> 01:51:56.016 Stop it. 2149 01:51:56.049 --> 01:51:57.817 He's 16! 2150 01:51:57.851 --> 01:51:59.519 Yeah. Late starter. 2151 01:51:59.552 --> 01:52:01.321 [Nicolette] Where in Italy are you from? 2152 01:52:01.354 --> 01:52:03.189 -Bologna. -Bologna. 2153 01:52:03.223 --> 01:52:04.391 -Yeah. -Say it again. 2154 01:52:04.424 --> 01:52:06.226 -Bologna. [chuckles] -Bologna. 2155 01:52:06.259 --> 01:52:08.128 Enzo, the kids are gonna watch a movie upstairs. You coming? 2156 01:52:08.161 --> 01:52:09.262 He'll stay. 2157 01:52:11.031 --> 01:52:11.998 Boys. 2158 01:52:14.034 --> 01:52:15.368 I think you're proud. 2159 01:52:15.402 --> 01:52:17.237 Relief, really, Jones. 2160 01:52:17.270 --> 01:52:18.972 Kin, as you said. 2161 01:52:20.407 --> 01:52:22.075 -Enzo. -Yeah? 2162 01:52:22.108 --> 01:52:23.410 [in Italian] Vieni qua. 2163 01:52:23.443 --> 01:52:25.011 -I beg your pardon. -Okay. 2164 01:52:25.045 --> 01:52:27.113 -Ciao. -Ciao. 2165 01:52:27.147 --> 01:52:29.049 [Daniel] This is your hostess 2166 01:52:29.082 --> 01:52:32.085 and one of the great loves of your father's life, Bridget Jones. 2167 01:52:34.954 --> 01:52:36.389 Ooh! 2168 01:52:36.423 --> 01:52:39.092 It's nice to meet you, Enzo. 2169 01:52:39.125 --> 01:52:40.593 [speaking Italian] 2170 01:52:40.627 --> 01:52:43.296 He says it is a great honour to meet you. 2171 01:52:43.329 --> 01:52:46.566 -Oh! -[speaking Italian] 2172 01:52:48.468 --> 01:52:51.137 And then he says that those are 2173 01:52:51.171 --> 01:52:53.440 very, very silly little boots. 2174 01:52:56.576 --> 01:52:58.978 You have incredible posture. 2175 01:53:00.146 --> 01:53:01.448 You're not Danish, are you? 2176 01:53:01.481 --> 01:53:03.283 Well, I can be anything you want. 2177 01:53:03.316 --> 01:53:05.452 It is, isn't it? I know, and it's working really well for you, 2178 01:53:05.485 --> 01:53:07.554 but all I'm saying is maybe it's time for a rebrand. 2179 01:53:07.587 --> 01:53:09.589 Have you ever thought about having a pixie cut? 2180 01:53:09.622 --> 01:53:11.057 [scoffs] No. 2181 01:53:11.091 --> 01:53:12.392 Oh, you have the face for it. 2182 01:53:12.425 --> 01:53:14.427 And it's utterly changed my life. [chuckles] 2183 01:53:14.461 --> 01:53:17.030 Nonsense, Pam. You're perfect just as you are. 2184 01:53:17.063 --> 01:53:18.865 Is that a Dirty Bitch? 2185 01:53:19.666 --> 01:53:21.434 Steady on. 2186 01:53:21.468 --> 01:53:24.137 Oh, yes, please. Yes, thank you very much. 2187 01:53:24.170 --> 01:53:25.939 [Shazzer] Thanks. 2188 01:53:25.972 --> 01:53:27.440 -[Tom] Just what the doctor ordered. -[Jude] Me too. 2189 01:53:27.474 --> 01:53:30.243 -Always. Take a horn. -Give me the fucking horn. 2190 01:53:30.276 --> 01:53:32.012 -Thank you, thank you. -[Bridget] Yep. 2191 01:53:32.045 --> 01:53:35.482 -Mmm. Oh. -[Tom] Mmm. Mmm. 2192 01:53:35.515 --> 01:53:38.985 I'll be honest, I don't know what I'd have done in the past 20 years without you lot. 2193 01:53:39.019 --> 01:53:41.521 -Twenty? -No, it's not. It's thirty? 2194 01:53:41.554 --> 01:53:43.490 Yeah, it's more like 30 years, to be honest. 2195 01:53:43.523 --> 01:53:45.959 We've had some fucking fun though, haven't we? 2196 01:53:49.229 --> 01:53:50.897 We have. 2197 01:53:52.365 --> 01:53:55.935 [guests] Ten, nine, eight, 2198 01:53:55.969 --> 01:53:59.339 seven, six, five, 2199 01:53:59.372 --> 01:54:01.975 four, three, 2200 01:54:02.008 --> 01:54:04.110 two, one! 2201 01:54:04.144 --> 01:54:06.980 Happy New Year! 2202 01:54:07.013 --> 01:54:09.115 -[party blowers blaring] -[guests cheering] 2203 01:54:10.984 --> 01:54:12.352 * ...be forgot* 2204 01:54:12.385 --> 01:54:15.255 * And never brought to mind?* 2205 01:54:15.288 --> 01:54:16.956 Happy New Year. 2206 01:54:16.990 --> 01:54:20.994 * Should auld acquaintance Be forgot* 2207 01:54:21.027 --> 01:54:25.331 * For the sake Of auld lang syne?* 2208 01:54:25.365 --> 01:54:29.569 * For auld lang syne, my dear* 2209 01:54:29.602 --> 01:54:34.107 * For auld lang syne* 2210 01:54:34.140 --> 01:54:38.611 * We'll take a cup Of kindness yet* 2211 01:54:38.645 --> 01:54:42.982 * For the sake Of auld lang syne* 2212 01:54:43.016 --> 01:54:44.384 [piano flourish] 2213 01:54:44.417 --> 01:54:46.386 [playing boogie-woogie piano] 2214 01:54:46.419 --> 01:54:48.121 [guests cheering] 2215 01:54:50.423 --> 01:54:52.025 [chattering, whooping] 2216 01:54:53.360 --> 01:54:55.028 [party blower honking] 2217 01:55:01.434 --> 01:55:03.036 [music fades] 2218 01:56:23.650 --> 01:56:25.151 [Mabel] I forgot to check. 2219 01:56:30.357 --> 01:56:31.291 Look. 2220 01:56:43.236 --> 01:56:44.671 [owl hooting] 2221 01:56:59.252 --> 01:57:00.286 [Mabel] Goodnight. 2222 01:57:19.406 --> 01:57:20.874 Ooh. 2223 01:57:20.907 --> 01:57:22.575 Bloody zip. 2224 01:57:23.576 --> 01:57:24.844 [sighs] 2225 01:57:25.845 --> 01:57:27.514 [groans] 2226 01:57:27.547 --> 01:57:30.817 Bastard tyrannical dress people. 2227 01:57:35.722 --> 01:57:37.090 I've got it. 2228 01:57:40.293 --> 01:57:41.594 Thank you. 2229 01:57:47.367 --> 01:57:48.735 Happy New Year. 2230 01:57:48.768 --> 01:57:51.271 Happy New Year. [chuckles] 2231 01:58:26.339 --> 01:58:28.508 ["It Isn't Perfect, But It Might Be" playing] 2232 01:58:28.541 --> 01:58:31.244 [vocalising] 2233 01:58:32.779 --> 01:58:36.349 * I could go back to The old place * 2234 01:58:36.383 --> 01:58:39.753 * And write your name On every blank page * 2235 01:58:39.786 --> 01:58:43.623 * But it's a story now Just a story now * 2236 01:58:43.656 --> 01:58:46.893 * Just the kind of thing that You'd say * 2237 01:58:46.926 --> 01:58:50.697 * They say no need to Look behind me * 2238 01:58:50.730 --> 01:58:54.267 * That I can keep you Here beside me * 2239 01:58:54.300 --> 01:58:57.837 * To make a mess of it To make the best of it * 2240 01:58:57.871 --> 01:59:02.542 * It isn't perfect But it might be * 2241 01:59:02.575 --> 01:59:06.312 [vocalising] 2242 01:59:09.883 --> 01:59:14.254 * There's a lot of ground To cover * 2243 01:59:14.287 --> 01:59:16.956 * One foot and then the other * 2244 01:59:16.990 --> 01:59:22.395 * On my way, my way To somewhere new * 2245 01:59:24.330 --> 01:59:27.867 * A few false starts Can you forgive this * 2246 01:59:27.901 --> 01:59:31.338 * Cautious car and just bear with it * 2247 01:59:31.371 --> 01:59:36.976 * While it does what I thought it couldn't do * 2248 01:59:37.010 --> 01:59:40.847 * I could go back to The old place * 2249 01:59:40.880 --> 01:59:44.384 * And write your name On every blank page * 2250 01:59:44.417 --> 01:59:48.021 * But it's a story now Just a story now * 2251 01:59:48.054 --> 01:59:51.424 * Just the kind of thing that You'd say * 2252 01:59:51.458 --> 01:59:55.028 * They say no need to Look behind me * 2253 01:59:55.061 --> 01:59:58.565 * That I can keep you Here beside me * 2254 01:59:58.598 --> 02:00:02.435 * To make a mess of it To make the best of it * 2255 02:00:02.469 --> 02:00:07.040 * It isn't perfect But it might be * 2256 02:00:07.073 --> 02:00:12.445 [vocalising] 2257 02:00:12.479 --> 02:00:14.481 * Mmm * 2258 02:00:14.514 --> 02:00:18.451 * Treading lightly Thinking slightly * 2259 02:00:18.485 --> 02:00:21.821 * It just might be It just might be * 2260 02:00:21.855 --> 02:00:25.358 * Treading lightly Thinking slightly * 2261 02:00:25.392 --> 02:00:28.928 * It just might be It just might be * 2262 02:00:28.962 --> 02:00:30.864 * It just might be * 2263 02:00:30.897 --> 02:00:34.467 * Oh, I can go back to The old place * 2264 02:00:34.501 --> 02:00:38.071 * And write your name On every blank page * 2265 02:00:38.104 --> 02:00:41.908 * But it's a story now Just a story now * 2266 02:00:41.941 --> 02:00:45.378 * Just the kind of thing that You'd say * 2267 02:00:45.412 --> 02:00:48.948 * That there's no need to Look behind me * 2268 02:00:48.982 --> 02:00:52.585 * That I can keep you Here beside me * 2269 02:00:52.619 --> 02:00:56.322 * To make a mess of it To make the best of it * 2270 02:00:56.356 --> 02:01:00.794 * It isn't perfect But it might be * 2271 02:01:00.827 --> 02:01:04.497 [vocalising] 2272 02:01:04.531 --> 02:01:06.433 * Like it might be * 2273 02:01:07.834 --> 02:01:10.570 * Like it might be * 2274 02:01:10.603 --> 02:01:12.539 [vocalising] 2275 02:01:12.572 --> 02:01:16.810 * Whoo, whoo * 2276 02:01:19.713 --> 02:01:23.083 * Might be, might be Might be * 2277 02:01:24.918 --> 02:01:27.587 ["Have You Met Miss Jones?" playing] 2278 02:01:34.694 --> 02:01:38.031 * "Have you met Miss Jones?" * 2279 02:01:38.064 --> 02:01:42.902 * Someone said as We shook hands * 2280 02:01:42.936 --> 02:01:48.575 * She was just Miss Jones To me * 2281 02:01:49.976 --> 02:01:54.114 * And then I said "Miss Jones * 2282 02:01:54.147 --> 02:01:58.118 * You're a girl Who understands * 2283 02:01:58.151 --> 02:02:04.424 * I'm a man Who must be free" * 2284 02:02:04.457 --> 02:02:08.428 * And all at once I lost my breath * 2285 02:02:08.461 --> 02:02:12.032 * And all at once Was scared to death * 2286 02:02:12.065 --> 02:02:14.701 * And all at once * 2287 02:02:14.734 --> 02:02:21.708 * I owned the earth and sky * 2288 02:02:21.741 --> 02:02:25.979 * And now I've met Miss Jones * 2289 02:02:26.012 --> 02:02:31.851 * And we'll keep on meeting 'til we die * 2290 02:02:31.885 --> 02:02:34.487 * Miss Jones and I * 2291 02:02:36.756 --> 02:02:38.024 * Whoa, fellas * 2292 02:03:15.061 --> 02:03:18.898 * And all at once I lost my breath * 2293 02:03:18.932 --> 02:03:22.869 * And all at once Was scared to death * 2294 02:03:22.902 --> 02:03:25.505 * And all at once * 2295 02:03:25.538 --> 02:03:30.477 * I owned the earth and sky * 2296 02:03:32.112 --> 02:03:36.049 * Now I've met Miss Jones * 2297 02:03:36.082 --> 02:03:42.589 * And we'll keep on meeting 'til we die * 2298 02:03:42.622 --> 02:03:45.492 * Miss Jones and I * 2299 02:03:46.693 --> 02:03:48.995 * Miss Jones and I * 2300 02:03:50.230 --> 02:03:52.699 * Miss Jones and I * 2301 02:03:54.701 --> 02:04:01.574 * Miss Jones and I * 2302 02:04:05.712 --> 02:04:07.013 * Ha! * 2303 02:04:09.015 --> 02:04:11.651 [music playing] 2304 02:04:41.715 --> 02:04:43.616 [music ends]