WEBVTT FILE

2
00:00:30.396 --> 00:00:32.990
(tires screech)

3
00:00:42.841 --> 00:00:44.775
Excuse me.

4
00:00:44.810 --> 00:00:47.370
Could you tell me how to get
to the medical school?

5
00:00:47.413 --> 00:00:49.881
I'm supposed to be doing a lecture
in about 20 minutes,

6
00:00:49.915 --> 00:00:51.780
and my driver's
a bit lost.

7
00:00:51.817 --> 00:00:54.650
(Austrian accent)
You go straight ahead,

8
00:00:54.686 --> 00:00:57.985
and, uh, you make a left
over the bridge.

9
00:00:59.591 --> 00:01:01.718
That's a lovely accent
you have.

10
00:01:01.760 --> 00:01:05.662
- New Jersey?
- Austria.

11
00:01:05.697 --> 00:01:08.427
Austria! Ha ha!
Well, then...

12
00:01:08.467 --> 00:01:10.662
(Australian accent)
G'day, mate.

13
00:01:12.337 --> 00:01:15.636
Let's put another
shrimp on the barbie.

14
00:01:15.674 --> 00:01:17.767
Let's not.

15
00:01:20.312 --> 00:01:22.246
Oh.

16
00:01:27.386 --> 00:01:30.719
<i>("Boom shack-a-lak"
playing)</i>

17
00:01:37.329 --> 00:01:39.695
<i># Boom shack-a-lak-a,
what the people want #</i>

18
00:01:39.731 --> 00:01:42.222
<i># Women them a flex
and the men them a chant #</i>

19
00:01:42.267 --> 00:01:44.235
<i># 'Ca' the '60s style,
it have fe come back #</i>

20
00:01:44.269 --> 00:01:46.737
<i># Draw fe bell-bottom,
block heel and frock #</i>

21
00:01:46.772 --> 00:01:49.502
<i># Boom shak-a-lak,
rude boy #</i>

22
00:01:49.541 --> 00:01:52.635
<i># Here when we tell
them now, sir #</i>

23
00:01:52.678 --> 00:01:56.011
<i># Wine your body,
wriggle your belly #</i>

24
00:01:56.048 --> 00:01:59.814
<i># Dip and go down-ee
in the new stylee #</i>

25
00:01:59.852 --> 00:02:03.015
<i># Wine and go up,
wine and go down #</i>

26
00:02:03.055 --> 00:02:06.684
<i># Bubble and a rocka
to the new style around #</i>

27
00:02:06.725 --> 00:02:10.252
<i># You fe line it up,
you fe wine it up #</i>

28
00:02:10.295 --> 00:02:13.560
<i># Do the Boom shak-a-lak
till the dance hall fill up #</i>

29
00:02:13.599 --> 00:02:17.797
<i># I say the Boom shack-a-lak
are the brand new style #</i>

30
00:02:17.836 --> 00:02:21.363
<i># Wicked say it wicked,
jah jah, no say it wild #</i>

31
00:02:21.406 --> 00:02:24.842
<i># Ragamuffin style
fe the discipline child #</i>

32
00:02:24.877 --> 00:02:27.903
<i># Dip and go downa
'ca' it well versatile #</i>

33
00:02:27.946 --> 00:02:31.780
<i># You fe move fe your waist,
move fe your back #</i>

34
00:02:31.817 --> 00:02:35.344
<i># Wine and go down,
do the shack-a-lak-a-lak #</i>

35
00:02:35.387 --> 00:02:38.686
<i># Get in a groove
'ca' you are the top notch #</i>

36
00:02:38.724 --> 00:02:40.919
<i># Bubble and a wine gal
right 'pon the spot. #</i>

37
00:02:40.959 --> 00:02:43.484
Now, who's got
the wiener schnitzel?

38
00:02:43.529 --> 00:02:44.962
<i>(dog barks)</i>

39
00:02:44.997 --> 00:02:46.965
Beautiful.
There you go, Dolf.

40
00:02:46.999 --> 00:02:49.399
There you go, buddy.
Yeah.

41
00:02:49.434 --> 00:02:50.958
Let's see.

42
00:02:51.003 --> 00:02:53.563
<i>Next, we got
roast beef au jus.</i>

43
00:02:53.605 --> 00:02:55.334
<i>(dog whines)</i>

44
00:02:55.374 --> 00:02:57.433
<i>Who's got
the roast beef au jus?</i>

45
00:02:57.476 --> 00:02:59.501
<i>Stella, beautiful.
Bon appetit, Stella.</i>

46
00:02:59.545 --> 00:03:01.342
<i>Oui oui, yeah.</i>

47
00:03:01.380 --> 00:03:03.541
Walk away.
Go on. Go on.

48
00:03:03.582 --> 00:03:06.312
Last but not least...
foot-long!

49
00:03:06.351 --> 00:03:09.343
- Who's got the foot-long?
- (whimpering)

50
00:03:09.388 --> 00:03:11.481
There you...
very funny, rascal.

51
00:03:11.523 --> 00:03:13.718
Very funny.
In your dreams.

52
00:03:13.759 --> 00:03:16.660
<i>Man: Harry, why haven't you
dropped those dogs off at the show yet?</i>

53
00:03:16.695 --> 00:03:19.357
Uh, sir, I didn't
want to send them

54
00:03:19.398 --> 00:03:21.332
to a performance
on an empty stomach, sir.

55
00:03:21.366 --> 00:03:23.960
<i>- Get a move on it!
- Yes, sir.</i>

56
00:03:24.002 --> 00:03:26.334
Mutt cutts.
10-4.

57
00:03:27.339 --> 00:03:29.204
(all whining)

58
00:03:31.577 --> 00:03:33.545
(horn honks)

59
00:03:36.582 --> 00:03:38.243
(honks)

60
00:03:41.053 --> 00:03:43.722
(tires screech)

61
00:03:45.891 --> 00:03:47.358
Whew.

62
00:03:47.392 --> 00:03:49.326
Suck me sideways.

63
00:04:02.474 --> 00:04:05.637
Hello.
How are you?

64
00:04:05.677 --> 00:04:07.907
<i>(romantic pop music
playing)</i>

65
00:04:07.946 --> 00:04:11.006
Uh-uh-uh... uh...
uh-uh-uh...

66
00:04:11.049 --> 00:04:12.880
I'll be out
in one minute.

67
00:04:12.918 --> 00:04:15.113
(mumbles)

68
00:04:19.358 --> 00:04:21.053
Ow.

69
00:04:30.602 --> 00:04:32.035
(inhales)

70
00:04:32.070 --> 00:04:34.038
(exhales)

71
00:04:42.848 --> 00:04:44.713
Why are you going
to the airport?

72
00:04:44.750 --> 00:04:46.615
Flying somewhere?

73
00:04:46.652 --> 00:04:48.085
How'd you guess?

74
00:04:48.120 --> 00:04:49.587
I saw your luggage.

75
00:04:49.621 --> 00:04:51.589
Then when I noticed
the airline ticket,

76
00:04:51.623 --> 00:04:53.591
I put two and two
together.

77
00:04:53.625 --> 00:04:55.559
So where're you headed?

78
00:04:55.594 --> 00:04:57.061
Aspen.

79
00:04:57.095 --> 00:04:59.086
Mmm... California.

80
00:04:59.131 --> 00:05:01.326
Beautiful.

81
00:05:03.535 --> 00:05:06.902
Name's Christmas,
Lloyd Christmas.

82
00:05:06.938 --> 00:05:09.133
I'm Mary Swanson.

83
00:05:09.174 --> 00:05:12.143
This isn't my real job,
you know.

84
00:05:12.177 --> 00:05:14.441
- No?
- Nope, my friend Harry and I

85
00:05:14.479 --> 00:05:16.674
are saving up our money
to open our own pet store.

86
00:05:16.715 --> 00:05:18.945
That's nice.

87
00:05:19.951 --> 00:05:22.852
- I got worms.
- I beg your pardon?

88
00:05:22.888 --> 00:05:26.051
That's what we're going to call it...
I Got Worms.

89
00:05:26.091 --> 00:05:28.525
We're going to specialize
in selling worm farms,

90
00:05:28.560 --> 00:05:30.892
<i>you know,
like ant farms.</i>

91
00:05:32.531 --> 00:05:34.556
What's the matter?

92
00:05:34.599 --> 00:05:36.863
A little tense
about the flight?

93
00:05:37.969 --> 00:05:39.766
Something like that.

94
00:05:39.805 --> 00:05:42.433
There's really nothing
to worry about, Mary.

95
00:05:42.474 --> 00:05:44.704
Statistically,
they say you're more likely

96
00:05:44.743 --> 00:05:46.643
<i>to get killed
on the way to the airport,</i>

97
00:05:46.678 --> 00:05:49.112
you know, like in a head-on crash
or flying off a cliff

98
00:05:49.147 --> 00:05:51.081
or getting trapped
under a gas truck...

99
00:05:51.116 --> 00:05:53.050
That's the worst.
I have this cousin...

100
00:05:53.085 --> 00:05:54.712
<i>well, I had this cousin.</i>

101
00:05:54.753 --> 00:05:57.916
Lloyd, could you keep
your eyes on the road, please?

102
00:05:58.023 --> 00:05:59.923
Oh. Yeah.

103
00:05:59.958 --> 00:06:01.721
Good thinking.

104
00:06:01.760 --> 00:06:03.591
Can't be too careful.

105
00:06:03.628 --> 00:06:05.858
A lot of bad drivers
out there.

106
00:06:05.897 --> 00:06:08.161
(tires screeching)

107
00:06:11.803 --> 00:06:14.169
Hey, watch it!

108
00:06:16.441 --> 00:06:18.341
<i>(dogs whimpering)</i>

109
00:06:19.644 --> 00:06:22.010
(tires screech)

110
00:06:22.047 --> 00:06:24.845
Okay, gang,
you know the rules...

111
00:06:24.883 --> 00:06:27.010
no humping, no pushing,
no sniffing heinies.

112
00:06:27.052 --> 00:06:31.512
Where have you been? My dogs were
supposed to be here 40 minutes ago!

113
00:06:31.556 --> 00:06:33.524
Now I hardly have any time
to primp them.

114
00:06:33.558 --> 00:06:35.822
Don't worry about a thing,
Mrs. Neugy-burger.

115
00:06:35.861 --> 00:06:37.658
- Neugeboren!
- Neug-neug-neug...

116
00:06:37.696 --> 00:06:39.129
- Boren!
- Boren.

117
00:06:39.164 --> 00:06:41.098
These pooches aren't going to
need any primping.

118
00:06:41.133 --> 00:06:42.760
You know why?
I'll tell you why.

119
00:06:42.801 --> 00:06:45.065
Because I bathed them
and I clipped them myself.

120
00:06:45.103 --> 00:06:47.867
And I stand by
my performance.

121
00:06:53.945 --> 00:06:56.971
(whimpering)

122
00:06:57.983 --> 00:06:59.780
<i>You know,
on second thought,</i>

123
00:06:59.818 --> 00:07:02.082
<i>you might just want to run
a comb through 'em.</i>

124
00:07:02.120 --> 00:07:03.352
<i>Male voice:
The white zone is for the immediate</i>

125
00:07:03.387 --> 00:07:04.585
<i>Male voice:
The white zone is for the immediate</i>

126
00:07:04.623 --> 00:07:07.091
<i>loading and unloading
of passengers only.</i>

127
00:07:07.125 --> 00:07:09.286
<i>No parking.</i>

128
00:07:10.829 --> 00:07:13.559
Thanks.
Here you go.

129
00:07:13.598 --> 00:07:16.066
Oh no, Mary.

130
00:07:16.101 --> 00:07:18.433
I couldn't possibly
accept that,

131
00:07:18.470 --> 00:07:20.870
not after all
we've been through.

132
00:07:23.675 --> 00:07:25.575
Thank you, Lloyd.

133
00:07:25.610 --> 00:07:28.977
- Uh, good luck with your worms.
- Yeah.

134
00:07:29.014 --> 00:07:30.914
Hey.

135
00:07:32.117 --> 00:07:33.914
How about a hug?

136
00:07:33.952 --> 00:07:35.715
<i>The white zone
is for the immediate</i>

137
00:07:35.754 --> 00:07:38.951
<i>loading and unloading
of passengers only.</i>

138
00:07:38.990 --> 00:07:40.821
<i>No parking.</i>

139
00:07:47.098 --> 00:07:48.963
Oh.

140
00:07:50.569 --> 00:07:53.197
I hate goodbyes.
(chuckles)

141
00:07:53.238 --> 00:07:54.796
Oh.

142
00:07:55.807 --> 00:07:57.399
(groans)

143
00:07:59.478 --> 00:08:01.469
Uh, Lloyd...

144
00:08:01.513 --> 00:08:03.674
Shh!

145
00:08:03.715 --> 00:08:05.706
(whispers)
Just go.

146
00:08:09.955 --> 00:08:13.186
<i>(romantic pop music
playing)</i>

147
00:08:27.239 --> 00:08:29.366
(voice wavering)
Be strong.

148
00:08:35.046 --> 00:08:37.071
(sighs)

149
00:08:43.255 --> 00:08:45.052
<i>Woman over PA:
Mr. Dan Mitchell,</i>

150
00:08:45.090 --> 00:08:47.558
<i>please pick up
the white courtesy phone.</i>

151
00:08:47.592 --> 00:08:51.722
<i>Mr. Dan Mitchell, please pick up
the white courtesy phone...</i>

152
00:08:51.763 --> 00:08:55.130
She's gonna leave the briefcase
near the escalator.

153
00:08:55.166 --> 00:08:58.795
- You make the pickup.
- Piece of cake.

154
00:09:07.779 --> 00:09:10.407
# Goodbye, my lo... #
ugh!

155
00:09:12.651 --> 00:09:14.448
(laughs)

156
00:09:16.054 --> 00:09:18.022
Hi!

157
00:09:18.056 --> 00:09:21.025
<i>Passenger Maura Tadge,</i>

158
00:09:21.059 --> 00:09:23.584
<i>please pick up
the white courtesy phone.</i>

159
00:09:23.628 --> 00:09:25.118
<i>You have a message.</i>

160
00:09:25.163 --> 00:09:27.358
<i>Passenger Maura Tadge.</i>

161
00:09:33.004 --> 00:09:34.995
(yells)
Agh! Mary!

162
00:09:36.241 --> 00:09:39.039
<i>Man:
There's our payday.</i>

163
00:09:40.078 --> 00:09:42.103
She left it.
Let's go.

164
00:09:42.147 --> 00:09:45.446
Lloyd: Excuse me!
Coming through!

165
00:09:47.152 --> 00:09:50.849
Move it or lose it,
sister!

166
00:09:54.726 --> 00:09:56.193
Hey!

167
00:09:57.195 --> 00:09:59.220
(panting)

168
00:09:59.264 --> 00:10:00.697
<i>Eenie...</i>

169
00:10:00.732 --> 00:10:03.132
<i>meenie... minie...</i>

170
00:10:03.168 --> 00:10:05.466
mo!

171
00:10:12.243 --> 00:10:14.211
Hold that plane!

172
00:10:14.245 --> 00:10:16.907
Sir, you can't
go in there!

173
00:10:16.948 --> 00:10:18.210
It's okay!

174
00:10:18.249 --> 00:10:20.410
I'm a limo driver!

175
00:10:24.923 --> 00:10:27.323
- Agh!
- (thuds)

176
00:10:27.359 --> 00:10:29.884
Whew...

177
00:10:29.928 --> 00:10:33.091
(moaning)

178
00:10:35.400 --> 00:10:37.425
(tires screech)

179
00:10:39.004 --> 00:10:43.373
<i>(sirens blaring
in distance)</i>

180
00:10:48.980 --> 00:10:50.242
Hi, Lloyd.

181
00:10:50.281 --> 00:10:51.908
Hi, Harry.

182
00:10:51.950 --> 00:10:54.783
- How was your day?
- Not bad.

183
00:10:54.819 --> 00:10:57.185
Fell off
the jetway again.

184
00:11:02.694 --> 00:11:04.252
Who the hell you figure

185
00:11:04.295 --> 00:11:06.195
this guy's
working for, anyway?

186
00:11:06.231 --> 00:11:08.290
I don't know.

187
00:11:10.235 --> 00:11:13.295
We sure as hell
better find out.

188
00:11:17.175 --> 00:11:18.802
The ulcer?

189
00:11:18.843 --> 00:11:20.811
I'll live.

190
00:11:20.845 --> 00:11:23.279
<i>(bird chirping)</i>

191
00:11:28.286 --> 00:11:31.949
- So you got fired again, huh?
- Oh, yeah.

192
00:11:31.990 --> 00:11:36.324
They always freak out when you leave
the scene of an accident, you know?

193
00:11:37.762 --> 00:11:40.162
Yeah, well,
I lost my job too.

194
00:11:40.198 --> 00:11:44.999
Man! You are
one pathetic loser.

195
00:11:45.036 --> 00:11:47.971
(laughing)
No offense.

196
00:11:48.006 --> 00:11:50.201
No. None taken.

197
00:11:52.310 --> 00:11:54.301
Ha ha ha!

198
00:11:54.345 --> 00:11:57.337
<i>You know what really
chaffs my ass, though?</i>

199
00:11:57.382 --> 00:11:59.179
I spent my life's savings

200
00:11:59.217 --> 00:12:01.014
turning my van
into a dog.

201
00:12:01.052 --> 00:12:03.043
Hi, Petey!

202
00:12:03.254 --> 00:12:05.449
The alarm alone
cost me 200.

203
00:12:05.490 --> 00:12:07.481
Hey!
Chicks love it.

204
00:12:07.525 --> 00:12:09.516
<i>It's a shaggin' wagon.</i>

205
00:12:09.561 --> 00:12:11.791
What's with
the briefcase?

206
00:12:15.533 --> 00:12:17.330
It's a love memento.

207
00:12:17.368 --> 00:12:20.166
The most beautiful
woman alive,

208
00:12:20.205 --> 00:12:22.503
I drove her
to the airport.

209
00:12:22.540 --> 00:12:25.509
Sparks flew,
emotions ran high.

210
00:12:25.543 --> 00:12:27.977
She actually
talked to me, man.

211
00:12:28.012 --> 00:12:30.139
Get outta here.

212
00:12:30.181 --> 00:12:33.173
Oh, yeah yeah.
Tractor beam...

213
00:12:33.218 --> 00:12:36.483
(humming whistle)
Sucked me right in.

214
00:12:36.521 --> 00:12:39.490
Anyway...
(inhales deeply)

215
00:12:39.524 --> 00:12:41.492
She left this
in the terminal

216
00:12:41.526 --> 00:12:44.188
and flew to Aspen
and out of my life.

217
00:12:44.229 --> 00:12:46.254
What's in it?

218
00:12:48.266 --> 00:12:50.632
Man... I would
have to be a lowlife

219
00:12:50.668 --> 00:12:54.035
to go rootin' around in somebody else's
private property.

220
00:12:54.072 --> 00:12:57.439
- Is it locked?
- Yeah, really well.

221
00:12:57.475 --> 00:13:00.205
<i>(knock on door)</i>

222
00:13:05.116 --> 00:13:07.949
<i>Harry: There's two of them.
One of them's got a gun.</i>

223
00:13:09.521 --> 00:13:11.887
Did you pay
the gas bill?

224
00:13:13.391 --> 00:13:15.222
Hey...

225
00:13:15.260 --> 00:13:17.558
(whispering)
Do you realize what you've done?

226
00:13:17.595 --> 00:13:19.529
I'm sorry.
I say we bail.

227
00:13:19.564 --> 00:13:21.794
Okay.

228
00:13:28.706 --> 00:13:31.334
- (slams)
- Briefcase ain't here.

229
00:13:31.376 --> 00:13:34.072
They must have
taken it with them.

230
00:13:34.112 --> 00:13:36.080
Well, he's got to
come home sometime.

231
00:13:36.114 --> 00:13:37.604
Maybe we should
trash the place,

232
00:13:37.649 --> 00:13:39.742
send him
a little message.

233
00:13:41.286 --> 00:13:43.686
I don't think he's going to get
that message, Joe.

234
00:13:43.721 --> 00:13:46.053
I mean, the guy's got worms
in his living room.

235
00:13:46.090 --> 00:13:48.251
Well.

236
00:13:48.293 --> 00:13:50.761
Oh, I got
a better idea.

237
00:13:53.598 --> 00:13:56.328
"I thought I taw
a puddy cat.

238
00:13:56.367 --> 00:13:58.130
I did. I did."

239
00:13:58.169 --> 00:13:59.693
<i>(squawks)</i>

240
00:14:01.272 --> 00:14:03.740
<i>(cracking)</i>

241
00:14:13.618 --> 00:14:16.109
I can't believe
we drove around all day

242
00:14:16.154 --> 00:14:18.987
and there's not
a single job in this town.

243
00:14:19.023 --> 00:14:21.150
There is nothing,
nada, zip!

244
00:14:21.192 --> 00:14:23.990
Yeah, unless you want
to work 40 hours a week.

245
00:14:24.028 --> 00:14:25.461
Pfft!

246
00:14:25.496 --> 00:14:27.623
Here. I'm going to
go to the store.

247
00:14:27.665 --> 00:14:29.530
Okay, just get
the bare essentials.

248
00:14:29.567 --> 00:14:31.364
This is the last
of our dough.

249
00:14:31.402 --> 00:14:33.996
Hey. What do I
look like?

250
00:14:34.038 --> 00:14:37.769
<i># Take a little walk
to the edge of town #</i>

251
00:14:37.809 --> 00:14:40.539
<i># Go across the tracks #</i>

252
00:14:41.546 --> 00:14:44.174
<i># Where the viaduct looms #</i>

253
00:14:44.215 --> 00:14:46.149
<i># Like a bird of doom #</i>

254
00:14:46.184 --> 00:14:49.745
<i># As it shifts
and cracks #</i>

255
00:14:49.787 --> 00:14:54.349
<i># Where secrets lie
in the border fires #</i>

256
00:14:54.392 --> 00:14:56.360
<i># In the humming wires #</i>

257
00:14:56.394 --> 00:14:59.557
<i># Hey, man, you know
you're never coming back #</i>

258
00:14:59.597 --> 00:15:01.497
<i># Past the square,
past the bridge... #</i>

259
00:15:01.532 --> 00:15:03.295
<i># Past the mills,
past the stack... #</i>

260
00:15:03.334 --> 00:15:04.824
(grunting)

261
00:15:06.537 --> 00:15:08.767
<i># On a gathering storm #</i>

262
00:15:08.806 --> 00:15:10.467
<i># Comes a tall
handsome man... #</i>

263
00:15:10.508 --> 00:15:12.305
Cripes!

264
00:15:12.343 --> 00:15:15.369
<i># In a dusty black coat
with a red right hand. #</i>

265
00:15:21.119 --> 00:15:22.347
Excuse me,
little old lady.

266
00:15:22.387 --> 00:15:24.412
<i>(tires screech)</i>

267
00:15:27.725 --> 00:15:30.159
Uh, do you have
change for a dollar?

268
00:15:30.194 --> 00:15:31.718
Change?

269
00:15:31.763 --> 00:15:33.628
No, I'm sorry.
I don't.

270
00:15:33.665 --> 00:15:35.690
Oh... well, uh,

271
00:15:35.733 --> 00:15:38.702
could you do me a favor
and watch my stuff here

272
00:15:38.736 --> 00:15:40.465
while I go
break a dollar?

273
00:15:40.505 --> 00:15:42.837
- Of course.
- Thanks.

274
00:15:42.874 --> 00:15:46.071
Hey. I guess
they're right.

275
00:15:46.110 --> 00:15:47.668
Senior citizens,

276
00:15:47.712 --> 00:15:50.237
although slow and dangerous
behind the wheel,

277
00:15:50.281 --> 00:15:53.114
can still serve
a purpose.

278
00:15:53.151 --> 00:15:56.416
I'll be right back.
Don't you go dying on me!

279
00:16:01.159 --> 00:16:04.617
- Ugh!
- Where's the booze?

280
00:16:04.662 --> 00:16:07.495
I got robbed
by a sweet old lady

281
00:16:07.532 --> 00:16:10.092
on a motorized cart.

282
00:16:10.134 --> 00:16:12.295
I didn't even
see it coming.

283
00:16:12.337 --> 00:16:14.100
Oh...

284
00:16:14.138 --> 00:16:16.129
- Harry?
- No...

285
00:16:16.174 --> 00:16:18.404
- No...
- Harry. Come on, Harry.

286
00:16:18.443 --> 00:16:20.172
Cheer up.

287
00:16:20.211 --> 00:16:22.270
It gets worse, Lloyd.

288
00:16:22.313 --> 00:16:24.247
My parakeet Petey...

289
00:16:24.282 --> 00:16:27.342
- Yeah?
...he's dead.

290
00:16:27.385 --> 00:16:30.183
(gasps)

291
00:16:30.221 --> 00:16:31.779
Aw...

292
00:16:31.823 --> 00:16:33.757
Oh, man.
I'm sorry, Harry.

293
00:16:33.791 --> 00:16:35.782
What happened?

294
00:16:36.828 --> 00:16:38.796
His head fell off.

295
00:16:38.830 --> 00:16:40.730
His head fell off?

296
00:16:40.765 --> 00:16:43.131
Yeah, he was pretty old.

297
00:16:46.437 --> 00:16:47.802
Ugh!

298
00:16:47.839 --> 00:16:49.773
That's it.

299
00:16:49.807 --> 00:16:52.275
I've had it
with this dump!

300
00:16:52.310 --> 00:16:55.245
We got no food.
We got no jobs.

301
00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:57.248
(yells)
Our pets' heads are falling off!

302
00:16:57.283 --> 00:16:59.216
Okay, just calm down!

303
00:16:59.250 --> 00:17:01.582
What the hell are we
doing here, Harry?

304
00:17:01.619 --> 00:17:03.746
We gotta get
out of this town!

305
00:17:03.788 --> 00:17:06.348
Yeah? And go where?
Where are we gonna go?

306
00:17:06.391 --> 00:17:09.258
I'll tell you where,

307
00:17:09.293 --> 00:17:11.193
someplace warm...

308
00:17:11.229 --> 00:17:13.527
a place where the beer
flows like wine,

309
00:17:13.564 --> 00:17:15.657
where beautiful women
instinctively flock

310
00:17:15.700 --> 00:17:17.998
like the salmon
of Capistrano.

311
00:17:19.370 --> 00:17:21.634
I'm talking about
a little place called...

312
00:17:21.672 --> 00:17:24.402
Aspen.

313
00:17:24.442 --> 00:17:27.605
I don't know, Lloyd.
The French are assholes.

314
00:17:27.645 --> 00:17:30.079
Wait a minute.

315
00:17:32.316 --> 00:17:34.648
Wait a minute!
I know what you're up to, mister.

316
00:17:34.685 --> 00:17:37.381
Yeah! You just
wanna go to Aspen

317
00:17:37.422 --> 00:17:39.856
and find that girl
who lost her briefcase,

318
00:17:39.891 --> 00:17:42.257
<i>and you need me
to drive you there!</i>

319
00:17:42.293 --> 00:17:44.659
- Right? Am I right?
- Yeah. So?

320
00:17:44.695 --> 00:17:48.096
- Am I right? Am I right?
- Yeah! So?

321
00:17:48.132 --> 00:17:50.396
So I wanna go someplace
where we know somebody

322
00:17:50.435 --> 00:17:52.403
who can plug us into
the social pipeline.

323
00:17:52.437 --> 00:17:54.735
No! No no no!
No, Lloyd!

324
00:17:54.772 --> 00:17:57.570
No! I say we stay here,
we hunt for jobs,

325
00:17:57.608 --> 00:18:00.202
and we keep saving our money
for the worm store!

326
00:18:00.244 --> 00:18:02.508
<i>I don't know about you,</i>

327
00:18:02.547 --> 00:18:04.208
but I am getting
sick and tired

328
00:18:04.248 --> 00:18:05.715
of-of running
from creditors!

329
00:18:05.750 --> 00:18:09.379
You know what I'm sick
and tired of, Harry?

330
00:18:11.255 --> 00:18:14.884
I'm sick and tired of having to
eke my way through life.

331
00:18:19.297 --> 00:18:21.458
I'm sick and tired
of being a nobody.

332
00:18:22.767 --> 00:18:24.894
<i>But most of all...</i>

333
00:18:29.207 --> 00:18:32.404
I'm sick and tired
of having nobody.

334
00:18:33.444 --> 00:18:34.706
<i>(soft piano music
playing)</i>

335
00:18:34.745 --> 00:18:36.770
Okay, Lloyd.

336
00:18:40.451 --> 00:18:42.612
Aspen it is.

337
00:18:46.257 --> 00:18:48.248
You'd better not
be foolin'.

338
00:18:48.292 --> 00:18:50.089
(chuckles)

339
00:18:52.430 --> 00:18:54.261
(crying)

340
00:18:54.298 --> 00:18:57.267
Okay okay,

341
00:18:57.301 --> 00:18:59.326
just let it out.
Have a good cry.

342
00:18:59.370 --> 00:19:01.338
Come on.

343
00:19:01.372 --> 00:19:03.169
Okay.

344
00:19:03.207 --> 00:19:05.675
(sobbing)

345
00:19:05.710 --> 00:19:07.812
Okay, that's enough.

346
00:19:13.951 --> 00:19:16.215
<i># I never met a girl #</i>

347
00:19:16.254 --> 00:19:19.348
<i># Who made me feel
the way that you do #</i>

348
00:19:19.390 --> 00:19:21.551
<i># You're all right #</i>

349
00:19:21.592 --> 00:19:24.527
<i># Whenever I'm asked
who makes my dreams real #</i>

350
00:19:24.562 --> 00:19:28.498
<i># I tell them you do,
you're outta sight #</i>

351
00:19:28.533 --> 00:19:31.696
<i># I'm bringin' you
a love that's true #</i>

352
00:19:31.736 --> 00:19:35.797
<i># So get ready,
get ready #</i>

353
00:19:35.840 --> 00:19:38.468
<i># I'm gonna try
to make you love me too #</i>

354
00:19:38.509 --> 00:19:43.242
<i># So get ready, get ready,
here I come #</i>

355
00:19:43.281 --> 00:19:45.442
<i># Get ready
'cause here I come... #</i>

356
00:19:45.483 --> 00:19:47.348
Lloyd,
what are you doing?

357
00:19:47.385 --> 00:19:49.580
It feels like you're running
at an incredible rate, Harry.

358
00:19:49.620 --> 00:19:51.747
Would you quit it?
We're not even through Connecticut yet,

359
00:19:51.789 --> 00:19:52.983
and already
you're annoying me.

360
00:19:53.024 --> 00:19:55.515
- Sorry.
- Jeez.

361
00:19:55.560 --> 00:19:58.757
<i>- We're really doing it, aren't we?
- Yeah.</i>

362
00:19:59.764 --> 00:20:01.391
Hey, where'd
you get those?

363
00:20:01.432 --> 00:20:04.868
I bought them
when we filled up.

364
00:20:04.902 --> 00:20:06.927
Well... (stutters)
We're supposed to talk

365
00:20:06.971 --> 00:20:08.734
about all
expenditures, Lloyd.

366
00:20:08.773 --> 00:20:10.604
We're on a very
tight budget.

367
00:20:10.641 --> 00:20:12.871
This didn't come out
of our travel fund.

368
00:20:12.910 --> 00:20:14.377
Oh.

369
00:20:14.412 --> 00:20:16.312
No, I was able to raise
25 extra bucks

370
00:20:16.347 --> 00:20:18.713
before we left.

371
00:20:18.749 --> 00:20:20.979
Where did you get
25 extra bucks?

372
00:20:21.018 --> 00:20:24.249
I sold some stuff
to Billy in 4C.

373
00:20:24.288 --> 00:20:26.688
The blind kid?

374
00:20:26.724 --> 00:20:28.817
Yeah!

375
00:20:28.859 --> 00:20:30.554
Yeah.

376
00:20:30.595 --> 00:20:33.029
What did you
sell him, Lloyd?

377
00:20:34.632 --> 00:20:36.395
Stuff.

378
00:20:36.434 --> 00:20:39.892
- What kind of stuff?
- I don't know.

379
00:20:39.937 --> 00:20:42.030
A few baseball cards,
a sack of marbles...

380
00:20:42.073 --> 00:20:44.234
(coughs)
Petey.

381
00:20:45.810 --> 00:20:47.744
Petey?

382
00:20:47.778 --> 00:20:50.679
You sold my dead bird
to a blind kid?

383
00:20:50.715 --> 00:20:53.878
Lloyd, that-that...
what are you...

384
00:20:53.918 --> 00:20:56.409
Petey didn't even
have a head!

385
00:20:56.454 --> 00:20:59.787
Harry,
I took care of it.

386
00:21:02.560 --> 00:21:04.528
Pretty bird.

387
00:21:04.562 --> 00:21:06.359
Yeah. Can you say,
"pretty bird"?

388
00:21:06.397 --> 00:21:07.955
Pretty bird.

389
00:21:07.999 --> 00:21:10.627
Yes, pretty bird.

390
00:21:10.668 --> 00:21:12.761
Pretty bird.

391
00:21:16.073 --> 00:21:18.098
Polly want a cracker?

392
00:21:21.812 --> 00:21:23.439
Those rat bastards.

393
00:21:23.481 --> 00:21:25.608
They're rubbing it
right in our faces.

394
00:21:25.650 --> 00:21:27.641
Man, Andre'll have
a goddamn hemorrhage

395
00:21:27.685 --> 00:21:29.482
if we don't get
that briefcase back.

396
00:21:29.520 --> 00:21:31.545
They must have been
following us for weeks.

397
00:21:31.589 --> 00:21:34.786
- Why you say?
- "Gas Man."

398
00:21:34.825 --> 00:21:37.487
How the hell do
they know that I got gas?

399
00:21:37.528 --> 00:21:39.621
They gotta be pros.

400
00:21:40.998 --> 00:21:43.762
Don't worry.
We're going to get that money back.

401
00:21:44.835 --> 00:21:47.463
And I'll tell you
something else,

402
00:21:47.505 --> 00:21:49.496
they ain't never
getting to Aspen.

403
00:21:49.540 --> 00:21:51.804
I'm going to see to that.

404
00:21:57.448 --> 00:21:59.439
<i>Lloyd:
They got The Monkees.</i>

405
00:21:59.483 --> 00:22:01.542
They were a major influence
on The Beatles.

406
00:22:01.585 --> 00:22:03.883
Yeah, I know.

407
00:22:05.022 --> 00:22:07.081
<i>Excuse me, Flo?</i>

408
00:22:07.124 --> 00:22:09.649
(both laughing)

409
00:22:15.833 --> 00:22:18.165
Flo, like the TV show.

410
00:22:19.704 --> 00:22:22.673
Uh... what is
the "soup du jour"?

411
00:22:22.707 --> 00:22:24.368
It's the soup of the day.

412
00:22:24.408 --> 00:22:26.069
Mm-hmm...

413
00:22:26.110 --> 00:22:28.237
That sounds good.
I'll have that.

414
00:22:29.547 --> 00:22:31.811
Anything else
before I leave the area?

415
00:22:31.849 --> 00:22:33.612
No... yeah...

416
00:22:33.651 --> 00:22:35.516
yes yes,
my soda's flat.

417
00:22:35.553 --> 00:22:37.851
It doesn't have
any bubbles.

418
00:22:45.062 --> 00:22:46.825
Happy now?

419
00:22:51.068 --> 00:22:53.866
Feels good to mingle
with these laid-back country folk,

420
00:22:53.904 --> 00:22:57.965
don't it, Harr?
I like it a lot.

421
00:22:59.543 --> 00:23:02.671
- Uh-oh.
- What? What's the matter?

422
00:23:03.914 --> 00:23:05.745
(blows)

423
00:23:05.783 --> 00:23:08.513
You spilled the salt,
that's what's the matter.

424
00:23:08.552 --> 00:23:11.578
Spilling the salt
is very bad luck.

425
00:23:11.622 --> 00:23:13.647
We're driving
across the country.

426
00:23:13.691 --> 00:23:15.852
The last thing we need
is bad luck.

427
00:23:15.893 --> 00:23:19.385
Quick. Toss some salt
over your right shoulder.

428
00:23:21.866 --> 00:23:24.699
<i>(thumps)</i>

429
00:23:24.735 --> 00:23:28.193
Uh-oh, too little
too late, Harry.

430
00:23:30.741 --> 00:23:34.472
Who's the dead man
that hit me with the salt shaker?

431
00:23:34.512 --> 00:23:36.878
(crowd murmuring)

432
00:23:39.083 --> 00:23:42.109
(humming)

433
00:23:44.054 --> 00:23:46.488
<i>Harry:
Well... uh...</i>

434
00:23:46.524 --> 00:23:48.048
it was a terrible
mistake, sir.

435
00:23:48.092 --> 00:23:50.492
Please, believe me.
I would never do anything

436
00:23:50.528 --> 00:23:52.052
to offend a man
of your size.

437
00:23:52.096 --> 00:23:54.360
Kick his ass,
Sea Bass!

438
00:23:57.535 --> 00:23:59.025
You gonna eat that?

439
00:23:59.069 --> 00:24:00.764
What? That?
No... yes... no.

440
00:24:00.805 --> 00:24:02.796
Well... no,
it crossed my mind.

441
00:24:02.840 --> 00:24:04.899
Yeah.

442
00:24:04.942 --> 00:24:08.343
(snorts, hawks)

443
00:24:18.989 --> 00:24:20.752
Still want it?

444
00:24:20.791 --> 00:24:23.783
Nah, you go ahead.

445
00:24:28.999 --> 00:24:32.196
You really
wimped out, man.

446
00:24:32.236 --> 00:24:34.227
What are you talking about,
wimped out?

447
00:24:34.271 --> 00:24:37.240
Well-well, did you...
the guy hawked on my burger!

448
00:24:37.274 --> 00:24:39.504
Hey, wait a second.

449
00:24:39.543 --> 00:24:41.807
I think I just...

450
00:24:41.846 --> 00:24:44.838
Yeah...
I just had an idea.

451
00:24:49.186 --> 00:24:51.416
Follow me.

452
00:24:53.157 --> 00:24:55.250
Whew.

453
00:24:58.262 --> 00:25:00.093
<i>Lloyd:
Excuse me. Guys?</i>

454
00:25:00.130 --> 00:25:01.825
What the hell
do you want?

455
00:25:01.866 --> 00:25:05.233
Uh... I just want
to apologize

456
00:25:05.269 --> 00:25:07.066
for that uh...
unpleasant scene

457
00:25:07.104 --> 00:25:08.799
a little earlier.

458
00:25:08.839 --> 00:25:12.240
My friend Harry and I
would, uh...

459
00:25:12.276 --> 00:25:14.608
like to buy
you guys a...

460
00:25:14.645 --> 00:25:16.636
round of beers...

461
00:25:16.680 --> 00:25:18.580
just to bury
the hatchet.

462
00:25:18.616 --> 00:25:20.846
Make it
four boilermakers.

463
00:25:20.885 --> 00:25:22.785
Whatever you want, sir.

464
00:25:22.820 --> 00:25:25.812
I'll have the waitress
bring it over immediately.

465
00:25:27.324 --> 00:25:29.622
- Lloyd, what are you doing?
- (shushing)

466
00:25:29.660 --> 00:25:31.821
We can't afford
to buy them drinks.

467
00:25:34.732 --> 00:25:36.893
Um... excuse me.

468
00:25:36.934 --> 00:25:40.802
Sea Bass and the fellas
offered to pick up our check.

469
00:25:40.838 --> 00:25:43.363
They said just put it
on their tab.

470
00:25:44.708 --> 00:25:46.232
They're very nice.

471
00:25:47.244 --> 00:25:49.235
Sea Bass said that?

472
00:25:49.280 --> 00:25:51.680
Well, if uh...

473
00:25:51.715 --> 00:25:54.445
that guy at the table
over there is Sea Bass.

474
00:25:58.856 --> 00:26:01.086
Ah! Uh.

475
00:26:02.092 --> 00:26:04.788
All right,
if that's what he wants.

476
00:26:05.796 --> 00:26:07.764
Put these
on there too, okay?

477
00:26:07.798 --> 00:26:10.164
You got it.

478
00:26:15.406 --> 00:26:18.136
I'm gonna kill
those sons of bitches!

479
00:26:19.143 --> 00:26:21.161
(both laugh)

480
00:26:21.196 --> 00:26:23.179
(both laugh)

481
00:26:23.213 --> 00:26:25.738
That was genius, Lloyd,
sheer genius!

482
00:26:25.783 --> 00:26:28.115
I mean, where did you come up
with a scam like that?

483
00:26:28.152 --> 00:26:31.918
- Saw it in a movie once.
- That was incredible!

484
00:26:31.956 --> 00:26:34.390
So what happened?
So the guy tricks some sucker

485
00:26:34.425 --> 00:26:37.326
into picking up his tab,
then gets away with it scot-free?

486
00:26:37.361 --> 00:26:40.990
No, in the movie, they catch up to him
a half-mile down the road

487
00:26:41.031 --> 00:26:44.228
and slit his throat.
It was a good one!

488
00:26:44.268 --> 00:26:46.133
<i>(laughing)</i>

489
00:26:46.170 --> 00:26:49.162
Wow.
(grunts)

490
00:26:49.206 --> 00:26:52.107
<i>- Harry?
- What?</i>

491
00:26:52.142 --> 00:26:54.076
I know this isn't
the best time, but...

492
00:26:54.111 --> 00:26:56.341
<i>- when you get a chance to pull over...
- Yeah?</i>

493
00:26:56.380 --> 00:26:58.109
- I gotta pee.
- What, are you crazy?

494
00:26:58.148 --> 00:26:59.775
I'm not pulling over now.

495
00:26:59.817 --> 00:27:01.785
But I gotta go!
What am I supposed to do?

496
00:27:01.819 --> 00:27:05.050
Well-well, whiz in one of the empty beer
bottles in the back.

497
00:27:05.089 --> 00:27:07.717
They're on the floor.
Just get one of...

498
00:27:07.758 --> 00:27:10.249
- Jeez, Lloyd!
- Quit moving around!

499
00:27:11.261 --> 00:27:12.853
Huh! What...

500
00:27:12.896 --> 00:27:14.864
Shit!

501
00:27:14.898 --> 00:27:17.093
(unzips pants)

502
00:27:17.134 --> 00:27:18.863
<i>- Watch the seat! Watch the seat!
- Okay!</i>

503
00:27:18.902 --> 00:27:21.604
All right!

504
00:27:21.639 --> 00:27:23.607
<i>(trickling)</i>

505
00:27:23.641 --> 00:27:27.008
Ahh...

506
00:27:28.012 --> 00:27:29.775
Ahh...

507
00:27:29.813 --> 00:27:33.806
- Uh-oh.
- What? What's wrong?

508
00:27:33.851 --> 00:27:36.183
The bottle's almost full
and I'm still going.

509
00:27:36.220 --> 00:27:39.189
- So stop going.
- I can't stop going once I've started.

510
00:27:39.223 --> 00:27:41.157
It stings.

511
00:27:41.191 --> 00:27:42.715
Quick! Get me
another bottle.

512
00:27:42.760 --> 00:27:43.988
- What?
- Come on.

513
00:27:44.028 --> 00:27:45.655
Hurry hurry hurry
hurry hurry hurry!

514
00:27:45.696 --> 00:27:47.254
Come on! Come on!

515
00:27:47.297 --> 00:27:49.629
Okay okay, here
here here. Hold it!

516
00:27:53.137 --> 00:27:57.073
- Hold that.
- Jesus.

517
00:28:01.679 --> 00:28:03.943
Hold that one.

518
00:28:03.981 --> 00:28:05.710
Hurry.
I'm pinching it.

519
00:28:05.749 --> 00:28:07.683
What are you,
a camel?

520
00:28:07.718 --> 00:28:10.710
(sighs)

521
00:28:10.754 --> 00:28:14.952
- (siren blaring)
- Pull over!

522
00:28:18.295 --> 00:28:20.559
- Huh?
- Pull over!

523
00:28:22.199 --> 00:28:24.793
No, it's a cardigan,
but thanks for noticing.

524
00:28:24.835 --> 00:28:27.861
Yeah.
Killer boots, man!

525
00:28:27.905 --> 00:28:31.568
Pull your vehicle
to the side of the road!

526
00:28:39.850 --> 00:28:42.580
License and registration,
please.

527
00:28:46.890 --> 00:28:50.257
You fellas were going a little fast back
there, wouldn't you say?

528
00:28:51.729 --> 00:28:53.890
You, uh...
you fellas been doing

529
00:28:53.931 --> 00:28:55.762
a bit of boozing,
have you?

530
00:28:55.799 --> 00:28:58.427
Sucking back on Grandpa's
old cough medicine?

531
00:28:58.469 --> 00:28:59.800
No. Oh no, sir.

532
00:28:59.837 --> 00:29:01.202
- No no no.
- No, huh-uh.

533
00:29:01.238 --> 00:29:04.139
Yeah, well,
what's that?

534
00:29:05.809 --> 00:29:08.243
- That's nothing, sir.
- Yeah, nothing.

535
00:29:08.278 --> 00:29:11.338
Yeah well, you aware that
it's against the law

536
00:29:11.381 --> 00:29:13.178
to have an open
alcohol container

537
00:29:13.217 --> 00:29:15.048
here in the State
of Pennsylvania?

538
00:29:15.085 --> 00:29:16.450
<i>Come on,
give me that booze,</i>

539
00:29:16.487 --> 00:29:18.819
<i>you little pumpkin-pie-
haircutted freak!</i>

540
00:29:18.856 --> 00:29:20.517
<i>Come on!</i>

541
00:29:28.799 --> 00:29:30.096
Sir, no, I- I...

542
00:29:30.134 --> 00:29:31.761
<i>No, sir, don't.
Don't drink...</i>

543
00:29:31.802 --> 00:29:33.360
You'd keep
your mouth shut

544
00:29:33.403 --> 00:29:35.564
if you knew what was
good for you, buddy.

545
00:29:51.822 --> 00:29:53.187
<i>Harry:
Tic Tac, sir?</i>

546
00:29:53.223 --> 00:29:55.316
Get the hell
outta here!

547
00:29:57.227 --> 00:29:59.923
(coughs, retches)

548
00:29:59.963 --> 00:30:03.865
<i>Mary: How could they not
have gotten the ransom?</i>

549
00:30:03.901 --> 00:30:05.493
It just doesn't
make sense.

550
00:30:05.536 --> 00:30:08.528
I left the money exactly where they
instructed me to.

551
00:30:08.572 --> 00:30:10.335
<i>Woman: Oh, it makes
perfect sense, Mary.</i>

552
00:30:10.374 --> 00:30:12.205
We should have called
the authorities

553
00:30:12.242 --> 00:30:14.039
the minute we knew
that Bobby was kidnapped.

554
00:30:14.077 --> 00:30:15.908
Now, Helen, we've been
through this already.

555
00:30:15.946 --> 00:30:18.881
<i>- Mr. Andre.
- Nicholas.</i>

556
00:30:18.916 --> 00:30:22.215
- Karl.
- Nick Nick Nick.

557
00:30:22.252 --> 00:30:23.879
Any word yet, sir?

558
00:30:23.921 --> 00:30:25.889
No, nothing yet,
Nicholas.

559
00:30:25.923 --> 00:30:27.891
(sighs)

560
00:30:27.925 --> 00:30:29.893
I've been giving this
a lot of thought.

561
00:30:29.927 --> 00:30:31.986
Maybe we should cancel

562
00:30:32.029 --> 00:30:34.088
the preservation benefit
this weekend.

563
00:30:34.131 --> 00:30:35.996
It would be so easy
to reschedule it.

564
00:30:36.033 --> 00:30:38.467
No, I don't think we should do anything
out of the ordinary.

565
00:30:38.502 --> 00:30:41.528
Yeah, she's right. It's imperative that we
carry on as usual...

566
00:30:41.572 --> 00:30:43.267
- Okay.
...especially you, Mary.

567
00:30:43.307 --> 00:30:45.036
What am I
supposed to do,

568
00:30:45.075 --> 00:30:47.270
just go about my life
like everything is fine?

569
00:30:47.311 --> 00:30:49.142
That's exactly
what you should do.

570
00:30:49.179 --> 00:30:51.306
Yes, go skiing, go to parties,
act normally, you know.

571
00:30:51.348 --> 00:30:52.940
Yeah, don't you see,
honey?

572
00:30:52.983 --> 00:30:54.848
We can't let on
that anything's wrong.

573
00:30:54.885 --> 00:30:57.080
If the press or the authorities
get wind of this,

574
00:30:57.120 --> 00:30:58.553
the kidnappers
may panic.

575
00:30:58.589 --> 00:31:01.114
Mm. I mean,
you never know

576
00:31:01.158 --> 00:31:03.126
what they might
do to him then.

577
00:31:09.900 --> 00:31:12.596
(snoring)

578
00:31:20.878 --> 00:31:23.210
<i># I saw her sitting
in the rain #</i>

579
00:31:24.481 --> 00:31:27.177
<i># Raindrops
falling on her #</i>

580
00:31:27.217 --> 00:31:29.310
<i># She didn't seem to care #</i>

581
00:31:29.353 --> 00:31:33.847
<i># She sat there
and smiled at me #</i>

582
00:31:33.891 --> 00:31:37.452
<i>- # Then I knew #
- # I knew, I knew, I knew, I knew #</i>

583
00:31:37.494 --> 00:31:41.260
<i>- # She could make me happy #
- # Happy happy #</i>

584
00:31:41.298 --> 00:31:43.061
<i># She could make me
very happy... #</i>

585
00:31:43.100 --> 00:31:46.433
<i># Flowers in her hair #</i>

586
00:31:46.470 --> 00:31:50.930
<i># Flowers everywhere #</i>

587
00:31:50.974 --> 00:31:53.169
<i># I love
the flower-girl #</i>

588
00:31:53.210 --> 00:31:55.041
<i># Oh, I don't know
just why #</i>

589
00:31:55.078 --> 00:31:57.410
<i># She simply
caught my eye #</i>

590
00:31:57.447 --> 00:32:00.314
<i># I love
the flower-girl... #</i>

591
00:32:00.350 --> 00:32:02.215
So he says,
"Do you love me?"

592
00:32:02.252 --> 00:32:05.278
And she says, "No, but that's
a real nice ski mask."

593
00:32:05.322 --> 00:32:07.722
(all laughing)

594
00:32:12.429 --> 00:32:13.896
Hey, man,
what's that?

595
00:32:30.981 --> 00:32:32.915
<i>(passes gas)</i>

596
00:32:42.993 --> 00:32:45.223
<i># I knew I had to
say hello #</i>

597
00:32:45.262 --> 00:32:46.524
<i># Hello hello #</i>

598
00:32:46.563 --> 00:32:50.260
<i># She smiled up at me #</i>

599
00:32:50.300 --> 00:32:51.995
<i># And she took my hand #</i>

600
00:32:52.035 --> 00:32:55.436
<i># And we walked through
the park alone #</i>

601
00:32:56.473 --> 00:32:58.236
<i># And I knew #</i>

602
00:32:58.275 --> 00:32:59.970
<i># I knew, I knew,
I knew, I knew #</i>

603
00:33:00.010 --> 00:33:01.443
<i># She had made me
happy... #</i>

604
00:33:01.478 --> 00:33:03.446
Whoo!

605
00:33:03.480 --> 00:33:05.539
<i># Happy happy,
she had made me very happy #</i>

606
00:33:05.582 --> 00:33:08.244
<i>- # Flowers in her hair... #
- (cracks)</i>

607
00:33:18.028 --> 00:33:20.019
<i>- (bell rings)
- (roaring)</i>

608
00:33:20.063 --> 00:33:21.792
<i>(crunches)</i>

609
00:33:29.139 --> 00:33:30.766
(yelling)

610
00:33:33.410 --> 00:33:36.675
(movements swishing)

611
00:33:36.713 --> 00:33:39.546
(high-pitched
battle-cries)

612
00:33:41.785 --> 00:33:43.616
(trills)

613
00:33:44.621 --> 00:33:46.555
<i>(gurgling)</i>

614
00:33:47.557 --> 00:33:48.956
(snorts)

615
00:34:11.048 --> 00:34:13.346
(shouts)

616
00:34:13.383 --> 00:34:15.374
(vocalizes)

617
00:34:15.419 --> 00:34:18.479
Ahh...

618
00:34:18.522 --> 00:34:20.490
eh?

619
00:34:21.758 --> 00:34:23.726
Aah!

620
00:34:23.760 --> 00:34:25.421
Aah!

621
00:34:25.462 --> 00:34:28.761
(heartbeat thumping)

622
00:34:37.607 --> 00:34:41.543
<i>- # Suddenly, the sun broke through #
- # See the sun #</i>

623
00:34:41.578 --> 00:34:45.571
<i>- # I turned around, she was gone #
- # Where did she go? #</i>

624
00:34:45.615 --> 00:34:47.446
(grunting)

625
00:34:47.484 --> 00:34:49.418
(moaning)

626
00:34:52.255 --> 00:34:54.553
Oh! Oh!

627
00:34:54.591 --> 00:34:56.422
(groaning)

628
00:34:57.427 --> 00:34:58.724
(rips)

629
00:34:59.729 --> 00:35:03.529
<i># Flowers in her hair #</i>

630
00:35:03.567 --> 00:35:07.765
<i># Flowers everywhere #</i>

631
00:35:07.804 --> 00:35:10.068
<i># I love
the flower-girl #</i>

632
00:35:10.107 --> 00:35:11.802
<i># Was she reality #</i>

633
00:35:11.842 --> 00:35:14.436
<i># Or just a dream
to me? #</i>

634
00:35:14.478 --> 00:35:18.278
<i># I love
the flower-girl #</i>

635
00:35:18.315 --> 00:35:20.283
<i>(fades)
# Her love showed me the way... #</i>

636
00:35:20.317 --> 00:35:23.445
<i>- # To find a sunny day. #
- (horn honking)</i>

637
00:35:26.156 --> 00:35:28.590
Whoa!

638
00:35:30.160 --> 00:35:32.560
<i>(backfire)</i>

639
00:35:32.596 --> 00:35:35.622
You want me
to drive?

640
00:35:35.665 --> 00:35:38.133
No, I'm cool.

641
00:35:46.443 --> 00:35:49.037
<i>(water bubbling)</i>

642
00:36:11.635 --> 00:36:13.603
Yeah!

643
00:36:13.637 --> 00:36:16.128
Get her!

644
00:36:18.575 --> 00:36:20.338
(chuckles)

645
00:36:20.377 --> 00:36:22.208
<i>- Ohh.
- (thuds, water splashes)</i>

646
00:36:22.245 --> 00:36:23.872
(sighs)

647
00:36:23.914 --> 00:36:26.246
This is the life...

648
00:36:26.283 --> 00:36:29.150
cold beer, a hot tub
and paper-thin walls.

649
00:36:29.186 --> 00:36:31.848
(laughs)

650
00:36:31.888 --> 00:36:34.857
There's only one thing that could make this
moment any better.

651
00:36:34.891 --> 00:36:36.552
What's that?

652
00:36:36.593 --> 00:36:38.493
If you had a nice set
of knockers.

653
00:36:38.528 --> 00:36:41.326
(laughs)
That's two things, Lloyd.

654
00:36:41.364 --> 00:36:44.299
Yeah, well, it's a good thing you're not
stacked, Harry,

655
00:36:44.334 --> 00:36:45.801
or I'd be banging you
right now.

656
00:36:45.835 --> 00:36:47.735
(both laugh)

657
00:36:47.771 --> 00:36:49.864
I'd show you what
a real man can do.

658
00:36:49.906 --> 00:36:53.501
Split you like an
old piece of firewood.

659
00:36:56.646 --> 00:36:59.479
You'd probably like it too,
you big homo.

660
00:36:59.516 --> 00:37:01.211
Shut up.

661
00:37:01.251 --> 00:37:04.448
<i>Don't tell me
to shut up, woman.</i>

662
00:37:08.425 --> 00:37:10.518
(chuckles)

663
00:37:13.797 --> 00:37:15.526
I don't know, Lloyd.
You know,

664
00:37:15.565 --> 00:37:17.396
this place doesn't
really do it for me.

665
00:37:17.434 --> 00:37:19.561
<i>It brings back
a lot of memories.</i>

666
00:37:20.570 --> 00:37:22.333
<i>Pour quoi?</i>

667
00:37:22.372 --> 00:37:25.899
It was a few years ago.

668
00:37:25.942 --> 00:37:28.706
What happened, Harry?
Some little filly break your heart?

669
00:37:28.745 --> 00:37:30.337
No, it was a girl.

670
00:37:30.380 --> 00:37:31.870
- Oh.
- Fraida Felcher.

671
00:37:31.915 --> 00:37:34.281
Yeah, we stayed in a place
just like this.

672
00:37:34.317 --> 00:37:36.717
Wasn't this classy,
but, you know, nice.

673
00:37:36.753 --> 00:37:39.654
Felcher?
From Cranston?

674
00:37:39.689 --> 00:37:40.986
Yeah.
You know her?

675
00:37:41.024 --> 00:37:42.821
Oh, yeah!

676
00:37:42.859 --> 00:37:45.384
I mean,
I remember you...

677
00:37:45.428 --> 00:37:47.794
talking about her.

678
00:37:47.831 --> 00:37:52.268
We had the most incredibly
romantic time.

679
00:37:52.302 --> 00:37:54.395
I thought we were gonna be
together forever,

680
00:37:54.437 --> 00:37:56.735
and then about a week later,
right out of the blue,

681
00:37:56.773 --> 00:37:58.434
she sends me
a John Deere letter.

682
00:37:58.475 --> 00:38:01.569
- She give you any reason?
- Yeah, I called her up.

683
00:38:01.611 --> 00:38:03.306
She gave me
a bunch of crap

684
00:38:03.346 --> 00:38:05.678
about me not listening to her
enough or something.

685
00:38:05.715 --> 00:38:07.615
I don't know.
I wasn't really paying attention.

686
00:38:07.651 --> 00:38:09.585
But the thing
that hurt the most

687
00:38:09.619 --> 00:38:12.247
is I think she was
seeing another guy.

688
00:38:15.558 --> 00:38:18.857
Never did
find out who.

689
00:38:22.299 --> 00:38:24.790
<i>(vacuum whirring)</i>

690
00:38:40.784 --> 00:38:44.447
<i>Mental: Mr. Andre, guess who
we just happened upon?</i>

691
00:38:44.487 --> 00:38:47.547
<i>- Yeah.
- Man: I had plans.</i>

692
00:38:47.590 --> 00:38:49.455
<i>- Things I wanted to do.
- Yeah.</i>

693
00:38:49.492 --> 00:38:51.517
This is where it all ends...
at a phone booth.

694
00:38:51.561 --> 00:38:53.392
- (man muttering)
- Yeah. The boys are holed up

695
00:38:53.430 --> 00:38:55.295
in a little love-nest
for the night.

696
00:38:55.332 --> 00:38:58.028
I think they're
a little bit strange.

697
00:38:58.068 --> 00:39:00.662
What the hell are
these guys up to?

698
00:39:00.704 --> 00:39:02.934
I mean, is it possible
that they could be feds?

699
00:39:02.972 --> 00:39:05.600
Highly unlikely
from what I've seen.

700
00:39:05.642 --> 00:39:07.633
Sir, did you
ever hear

701
00:39:07.677 --> 00:39:10.612
of the concept
of other people?

702
00:39:10.647 --> 00:39:14.640
Um... me being that
for the phone,

703
00:39:14.684 --> 00:39:15.946
sir.

704
00:39:15.985 --> 00:39:18.681
Oh, you turned
your back on me.

705
00:39:18.722 --> 00:39:21.088
Ho ho ho!
He got me mad. I almost like it.

706
00:39:21.124 --> 00:39:23.319
You and Shay were
supposed to grab that bag

707
00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:25.487
- so we could end this shit!
- Here's your drink, baby.

708
00:39:25.528 --> 00:39:28.964
Do you know the damage
I could do to you?

709
00:39:28.998 --> 00:39:32.593
Hold on a minute.

710
00:39:32.635 --> 00:39:34.728
Hmm.

711
00:39:34.771 --> 00:39:36.500
But that's not
your problem.

712
00:39:36.539 --> 00:39:38.473
You didn't know.

713
00:39:38.508 --> 00:39:41.204
Get off
the phone.

714
00:39:43.079 --> 00:39:46.708
Get off the pho...

715
00:39:49.686 --> 00:39:51.984
I'm sorry, Mr. Andre.
You were saying?

716
00:39:52.021 --> 00:39:53.955
Look, Mental,

717
00:39:53.990 --> 00:39:56.652
these jokers have got a lot of money
and it belongs to me!

718
00:39:56.693 --> 00:39:59.594
Now, I want to know who they are
and what they're doing with it!

719
00:39:59.629 --> 00:40:02.826
Hey hey hey, I told you already.
I'm on it.

720
00:40:02.866 --> 00:40:06.063
- All right?
- Good.

721
00:40:09.606 --> 00:40:10.355
Harry:
According to the map,

722
00:40:10.390 --> 00:40:11.104
Harry:
According to the map,

723
00:40:11.141 --> 00:40:12.768
we've only gone
about four inches.

724
00:40:12.809 --> 00:40:14.504
You know,
I don't think

725
00:40:14.544 --> 00:40:15.977
we have enough
gas money.

726
00:40:16.012 --> 00:40:19.470
Relax. We have
more than enough.

727
00:40:19.516 --> 00:40:21.484
I think
you're wrong, Lloyd.

728
00:40:21.518 --> 00:40:22.815
How much
you wanna bet?

729
00:40:22.852 --> 00:40:24.513
I don't bet.

730
00:40:24.554 --> 00:40:25.987
What do you mean,
you don't bet?

731
00:40:26.022 --> 00:40:27.717
I mean I don't bet.
I don't gamble.

732
00:40:27.757 --> 00:40:29.782
(deep voice)
Pussy pussy pussy!

733
00:40:29.826 --> 00:40:32.852
- I never have, and I never will.
- Yeah, right!

734
00:40:32.896 --> 00:40:35.626
I'll bet you 20 bucks
I can get you gambling

735
00:40:35.665 --> 00:40:37.758
- before the end of the day.
- No way.

736
00:40:37.801 --> 00:40:39.462
- I'll give you 3-to-1 odds.
- Nope.

737
00:40:39.502 --> 00:40:40.662
- 5-to-1?
- Nope.

738
00:40:40.703 --> 00:40:42.898
- 10-to-1?
- You're on.

739
00:40:42.939 --> 00:40:45.305
(both chuckle)

740
00:40:46.509 --> 00:40:47.942
I'm going
to get you.

741
00:40:47.977 --> 00:40:50.810
- Huh-uh.
- Oh, yeah.

742
00:40:50.847 --> 00:40:52.974
I don't know how,
but I'm going to get you.

743
00:40:53.016 --> 00:40:56.144
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- Nuh-uh.

744
00:40:56.186 --> 00:40:57.949
Come on, Joe.
Let me do them.

745
00:40:57.987 --> 00:40:59.784
Let me do
both of them.

746
00:40:59.823 --> 00:41:01.381
You wouldn't even have
to worry about it.

747
00:41:01.424 --> 00:41:02.948
Just shut up!

748
00:41:02.992 --> 00:41:05.119
Now, we don't even know
who the hell they are.

749
00:41:05.161 --> 00:41:07.152
You don't kill people
you don't know.

750
00:41:07.197 --> 00:41:08.596
That's a rule.

751
00:41:08.631 --> 00:41:09.996
<i>Now, I want you
to get up here,</i>

752
00:41:10.033 --> 00:41:11.466
<i>lie down
on the front seat.</i>

753
00:41:11.501 --> 00:41:15.403
When they pick me up,
you follow us. You got that?

754
00:41:15.438 --> 00:41:17.770
Keep your shirt on.
I gotta squeeze a lemon.

755
00:41:24.747 --> 00:41:27.215
<i>Mental: Hey, hey, hey.
Here they come.</i>

756
00:41:27.250 --> 00:41:30.014
Stay down, stay down!

757
00:41:40.263 --> 00:41:43.494
Say, uh, are you guys
going to Davenport?

758
00:41:43.533 --> 00:41:46.866
My car died, and I'm late
for a luncheon.

759
00:41:48.004 --> 00:41:52.168
We usually don't
pick up hitchhikers,

760
00:41:52.208 --> 00:41:56.008
but I'm going to go with my instinct
on this one.

761
00:41:56.045 --> 00:41:58.513
Saddle up, partner.

762
00:41:59.883 --> 00:42:01.680
You're it.

763
00:42:01.718 --> 00:42:03.743
- You're it.
- You're it! Quitsies!

764
00:42:03.786 --> 00:42:05.845
Anti-quitsies.
You're it. Quitsies. No anti-quitsies.

765
00:42:05.889 --> 00:42:07.186
- No startsies.
- You can't do that.

766
00:42:07.223 --> 00:42:09.191
- Can too.
- Cannot. Stamped it.

767
00:42:09.225 --> 00:42:10.749
Can too. Double-stamped it.
No erasies.

768
00:42:10.793 --> 00:42:13.091
Cannot. Triple-stamped it.
No erasies.

769
00:42:13.129 --> 00:42:15.723
You can't triple-stamp
a double-stamp!

770
00:42:15.765 --> 00:42:18.666
You can't triple-stamp
a double-stamp, Lloyd!

771
00:42:18.701 --> 00:42:20.692
You can't triple-stamp a double-stamp.
Lloyd! Lloyd!

772
00:42:20.737 --> 00:42:22.432
Guys! Enough!

773
00:42:25.942 --> 00:42:30.276
Hey, you wanna hear the most annoying
sound in the world?

774
00:42:31.314 --> 00:42:33.748
(screeches)

775
00:42:33.783 --> 00:42:36.809
Guys! Guys! Guys!

776
00:42:38.254 --> 00:42:42.281
Fellas,
you think we could

777
00:42:42.325 --> 00:42:44.793
listen to the radio
or something?

778
00:42:46.029 --> 00:42:47.997
Radio?
(laughs)

779
00:42:48.031 --> 00:42:51.023
Who needs a radio?
Ready, Harry?

780
00:42:52.569 --> 00:42:54.264
- # Mock- #
- # Yeah #

781
00:42:54.304 --> 00:42:56.238
- # -ing- #
- # Yeah #

782
00:42:56.272 --> 00:42:58.570
- # -bird #
- # Yeah #

783
00:42:58.608 --> 00:43:00.269
<i>- Lloyd: # Yeah #
- # Yeah #</i>

784
00:43:00.310 --> 00:43:02.278
Both:
# Mockingbird #

785
00:43:02.312 --> 00:43:05.679
# Don't... everybody,
have you heard? #

786
00:43:05.715 --> 00:43:09.014
# She's gonna buy me
a mockingbird #

787
00:43:09.052 --> 00:43:13.751
# And if that mockingbird
don't sing #

788
00:43:13.790 --> 00:43:17.886
# She's gonna buy me
a diamond ring #

789
00:43:17.927 --> 00:43:20.987
# And if that diamond ring
don't shine... #

790
00:43:21.030 --> 00:43:22.998
Hey, Lloyd, look! There's some people
who want a ride too.

791
00:43:23.032 --> 00:43:24.021
Pick 'em up!

792
00:43:26.603 --> 00:43:28.264
(cows moo)

793
00:43:28.304 --> 00:43:30.101
<i>(playing
acoustic guitar)</i>

794
00:43:30.139 --> 00:43:32.630
<i>- Harry and Lloyd: # Mock- #
- # Sí #</i>

795
00:43:32.675 --> 00:43:34.165
<i>- # -ing- #
- # Sí#</i>

796
00:43:34.210 --> 00:43:36.269
<i>- # -bird #
- # Sí #</i>

797
00:43:36.312 --> 00:43:38.542
<i>Harry and Lloyd:
# Sí #</i>

798
00:43:46.189 --> 00:43:48.987
<i>Harry: You want an atomic
pepper, Mr. Mentaliano?</i>

799
00:43:50.760 --> 00:43:53.627
Nah, you guys
go ahead.

800
00:43:53.663 --> 00:43:55.893
I'll do it
if you will, Lloyd.

801
00:43:55.932 --> 00:43:57.627
Okay.
You go first.

802
00:43:57.667 --> 00:43:59.259
No, huh-uh, no,
you go first.

803
00:43:59.302 --> 00:44:01.270
<i>- No, you go first.
- No, you go first.</i>

804
00:44:01.304 --> 00:44:04.296
- No, you go first.
- I always go first!

805
00:44:04.340 --> 00:44:06.672
Why don't you guys
both stop acting

806
00:44:06.709 --> 00:44:08.336
like a couple
of pussies

807
00:44:08.378 --> 00:44:10.608
and go at
the same time, huh?

808
00:44:12.882 --> 00:44:15.612
- That sounds like a dare, Harry.
- It's a double-dare.

809
00:44:15.652 --> 00:44:17.244
Yeah, okay,
you're on.

810
00:44:18.254 --> 00:44:19.881
Mmm!

811
00:44:24.427 --> 00:44:28.386
- Huh. It's not so bad.
- Uh-huh.

812
00:44:28.431 --> 00:44:30.023
Yeah. It's more
tingly than hot.

813
00:44:30.066 --> 00:44:32.728
- Yeah.
- (coughing)

814
00:44:32.769 --> 00:44:34.634
Agh!

815
00:44:37.173 --> 00:44:40.267
<i>(both screaming,
gagging)</i>

816
00:44:43.179 --> 00:44:45.670
Uh, if you fellas
would excuse me,

817
00:44:45.715 --> 00:44:47.649
I've got to use
the phone.

818
00:44:47.684 --> 00:44:49.675
Enjoy your meal,
guys.

819
00:44:49.719 --> 00:44:51.778
(whimpering)

820
00:44:51.821 --> 00:44:53.789
Here, Lloyd,
this helps!

821
00:44:53.823 --> 00:44:55.814
Here here.

822
00:44:55.858 --> 00:44:57.382
It...
it works good.

823
00:44:57.427 --> 00:44:59.418
Ugh!

824
00:45:04.701 --> 00:45:08.364
Yeah, it's Mental.
I'm just sitting down

825
00:45:08.404 --> 00:45:11.271
- to a nice meal with our boys.
- Well, how nice for you.

826
00:45:11.307 --> 00:45:13.798
Don't forget that your bread plate
is on the left!

827
00:45:13.843 --> 00:45:16.835
<i>Look, I can't have these guys
running around Aspen.</i>

828
00:45:16.879 --> 00:45:19.404
Don't worry. They ain't gonna be
runnin' around nowhere

829
00:45:19.449 --> 00:45:22.646
after I dump a little rat poison
in their Shirley Temple.

830
00:45:25.021 --> 00:45:27.114
<i>("The Bear Song"
playing)</i>

831
00:45:27.156 --> 00:45:30.819
- Good good.
- Okay, that's good.

832
00:45:30.860 --> 00:45:33.328
Here he comes.
Here he comes.

833
00:45:34.330 --> 00:45:35.820
Feeling better,
girls?

834
00:45:35.865 --> 00:45:38.265
Yes, much better.
Thank you for asking.

835
00:45:38.301 --> 00:45:42.101
<i># The other side of the mountain was all
that he could see, so! #</i>

836
00:45:42.138 --> 00:45:45.107
<i># He went back over the mountain to see
what he could see, hey! #</i>

837
00:45:45.141 --> 00:45:47.735
So why are you going
to Aspen? Vacation?

838
00:45:49.112 --> 00:45:51.307
Why don't you eat up
and we'll tell you?

839
00:45:51.347 --> 00:45:52.814
(both snorting)

840
00:45:52.849 --> 00:45:55.010
It just doesn't seem like
you packed much.

841
00:45:55.051 --> 00:45:58.111
All I saw was one bag
and that briefcase.

842
00:45:58.154 --> 00:46:00.452
Well, no no, the briefcase
isn't even ours.

843
00:46:00.490 --> 00:46:02.287
Some lady left it
at the airport.

844
00:46:02.325 --> 00:46:04.020
We're just bringing
it back to her.

845
00:46:04.060 --> 00:46:05.755
How's your burger?

846
00:46:07.530 --> 00:46:10.795
You mean, you don't
even know her?

847
00:46:10.833 --> 00:46:13.267
(laughing)

848
00:46:16.372 --> 00:46:18.863
I mean,

849
00:46:18.908 --> 00:46:23.208
talk about being in the wrong place
at the wrong time.

850
00:46:23.246 --> 00:46:26.738
<i># The bear went over the mountain to see
what he could see, hey! #</i>

851
00:46:26.783 --> 00:46:29.843
<i># The other side of the mountain was all
that he could see, so!</i>

852
00:46:29.886 --> 00:46:32.878
<i># So he went back over the mountain to see
what he could see, hey! #</i>

853
00:46:32.922 --> 00:46:35.447
<i># The other side of the mountain was all
the he could see! #</i>

854
00:46:35.491 --> 00:46:37.721
<i>(kettle whistling)</i>

855
00:46:43.800 --> 00:46:46.132
(groaning)

856
00:46:46.169 --> 00:46:48.296
(both laughing)

857
00:46:54.177 --> 00:46:56.441
Are you okay, man?
It was just a goof.

858
00:46:56.479 --> 00:46:58.811
Oh, my ulcer!

859
00:46:58.848 --> 00:47:01.339
Quick!
My pills!

860
00:47:01.384 --> 00:47:03.852
Waitress: Maybe somebody should
call an ambulance.

861
00:47:03.886 --> 00:47:05.183
Look, uh,
you get the pills.

862
00:47:05.221 --> 00:47:07.018
Don't worry.
I know CPR.

863
00:47:07.056 --> 00:47:08.216
I'll get
the pills.

864
00:47:08.257 --> 00:47:10.282
Out with the bad air,
in with the good.

865
00:47:10.326 --> 00:47:12.556
- Out with the bad air...
- Get off!

866
00:47:16.866 --> 00:47:18.128
Ugh!

867
00:47:20.469 --> 00:47:22.903
Agh, don't!
Don't don't!

868
00:47:22.939 --> 00:47:24.236
Back back!

869
00:47:24.273 --> 00:47:27.868
This is a lot easier
if you just lay back.

870
00:47:27.910 --> 00:47:30.276
- Here.
- He's resisting me!

871
00:47:30.313 --> 00:47:33.544
Here.
Here we go, here we go.

872
00:47:33.583 --> 00:47:35.483
- Lloyd: Pills!
- There you go! There you go.

873
00:47:35.518 --> 00:47:37.418
- Pills are good!
- Take 'em down.

874
00:47:37.453 --> 00:47:39.478
- Pills are good!
- Drink 'em down.

875
00:47:39.522 --> 00:47:41.251
There you go.

876
00:47:41.290 --> 00:47:43.155
<i>- There you go, big guy.
- That's better!</i>

877
00:47:43.192 --> 00:47:45.160
You want some ketchup
and mustard?

878
00:47:45.194 --> 00:47:48.254
That helped us.

879
00:47:50.333 --> 00:47:53.791
Son of a bitch!
(gurgling)

880
00:48:03.246 --> 00:48:05.305
Check, please.

881
00:48:08.351 --> 00:48:09.943
I can't
believe it.

882
00:48:09.986 --> 00:48:12.284
Life's a fragile
thing, Harr.

883
00:48:12.321 --> 00:48:15.222
One minute you're
chewing on a burger,

884
00:48:15.258 --> 00:48:17.522
the next minute
you're dead meat.

885
00:48:17.560 --> 00:48:19.994
But he blamed me.
You heard him.

886
00:48:20.029 --> 00:48:21.894
Those were
his last words.

887
00:48:23.399 --> 00:48:25.560
Not if you count
the gurgling sound.

888
00:48:29.572 --> 00:48:32.439
- You mean he was poisoned?
- No doubt about it.

889
00:48:32.475 --> 00:48:35.603
We found these
next to the body.

890
00:48:35.645 --> 00:48:37.545
- Sir.
- Yeah?

891
00:48:37.580 --> 00:48:40.310
Waitress says he came in with
a couple of younger guys.

892
00:48:40.349 --> 00:48:43.648
Now they're the ones who called the
ambulance, and then they hit the road.

893
00:48:43.686 --> 00:48:46.416
- Get any idea where they were going?
- We just received a report

894
00:48:46.455 --> 00:48:49.447
that they were seen headed west on l-80
towards Colorado.

895
00:48:49.492 --> 00:48:51.585
Did you get a make
on the vehicle?

896
00:48:53.362 --> 00:48:55.023
Uh, yes, sir.

897
00:48:55.064 --> 00:48:59.501
They're driving
an '84... sheepdog.

898
00:48:59.535 --> 00:49:00.818
<i>(rock music playing)</i>

899
00:49:00.853 --> 00:49:02.101
<i>(rock music playing)</i>

900
00:49:02.138 --> 00:49:04.606
(tires screech)

901
00:49:16.285 --> 00:49:18.378
<i>- # Take... #
- (snoring)</i>

902
00:49:18.421 --> 00:49:24.087
<i># Take a picture,
take a little time #</i>

903
00:49:24.126 --> 00:49:26.390
<i># No need to dig
through the dumpster #</i>

904
00:49:26.429 --> 00:49:29.956
<i># For all the stuff you thought that you'd left
behind... #</i>

905
00:49:32.668 --> 00:49:35.034
<i># Take my car #</i>

906
00:49:35.071 --> 00:49:37.699
<i># Drive it
to the outside world #</i>

907
00:49:37.740 --> 00:49:42.074
<i># Take it far,
farther now from me #</i>

908
00:49:42.111 --> 00:49:43.373
<i># Take it all #</i>

909
00:49:43.412 --> 00:49:46.176
<i># Happy, girl,
the fact is #</i>

910
00:49:46.215 --> 00:49:48.080
<i># Take my heart #</i>

911
00:49:48.117 --> 00:49:51.382
<i># Take take
take me apart. #</i>

912
00:49:57.126 --> 00:49:58.559
Skis, huh?

913
00:49:58.594 --> 00:50:00.084
That's right.

914
00:50:00.129 --> 00:50:02.097
Great.

915
00:50:02.131 --> 00:50:04.361
They yours?

916
00:50:05.601 --> 00:50:07.330
Uh-huh.

917
00:50:10.072 --> 00:50:11.835
Both of 'em?

918
00:50:13.609 --> 00:50:15.474
Yeah.

919
00:50:15.511 --> 00:50:19.345
Cool.

920
00:50:21.617 --> 00:50:24.085
Um, excuse me,
but you're, uh...

921
00:50:24.120 --> 00:50:26.418
you're spraying
everywhere.

922
00:50:27.456 --> 00:50:28.946
Oh!

923
00:50:30.426 --> 00:50:34.294
(whistling,
urinating)

924
00:50:49.345 --> 00:50:51.313
<i>(door opens)</i>

925
00:50:51.347 --> 00:50:53.338
<i>(door closes)</i>

926
00:50:53.382 --> 00:50:55.873
<i>(footsteps approach)</i>

927
00:50:57.620 --> 00:50:59.611
<i>(zips pants)</i>

928
00:51:10.132 --> 00:51:12.760
(door rattling)

929
00:51:18.340 --> 00:51:22.208
- (screams)
- Oh, man, you gotta be shitting me.

930
00:51:22.244 --> 00:51:25.008
If it ain't
my old friend!

931
00:51:26.549 --> 00:51:29.985
And right on time.

932
00:51:33.656 --> 00:51:35.624
(whimpering)

933
00:51:38.828 --> 00:51:42.093
That's a lot of luggage
for a little vacation.

934
00:51:42.131 --> 00:51:44.156
- I'm moving to Aspen.
- Oh.

935
00:51:44.200 --> 00:51:47.226
I've got to get away from my boyfriend.
He's such a klutz.

936
00:51:47.269 --> 00:51:50.067
Plus, my astrologer told me that
I really should stay away

937
00:51:50.106 --> 00:51:52.404
from accident-prone guys,
so, you know.

938
00:51:52.441 --> 00:51:54.068
Oh, well,
you know, I...

939
00:51:57.279 --> 00:52:00.510
Here. It's a little loose.
You might want to...

940
00:52:00.549 --> 00:52:03.643
- Mm. Thank you.
- Oh, no. Hey, no, allow me.

941
00:52:03.686 --> 00:52:05.654
I've got
a thing of...

942
00:52:05.688 --> 00:52:08.122
here.
Got 'em right here. Right here.

943
00:52:13.662 --> 00:52:15.823
<i>- (gasoline ignites)
- Thank you.</i>

944
00:52:15.865 --> 00:52:18.834
Sure. You know, I'm heading up
to Aspen myself.

945
00:52:18.868 --> 00:52:20.563
Maybe we could,
you know, meet up,

946
00:52:20.603 --> 00:52:22.628
have some hot chocolate
or something.

947
00:52:23.873 --> 00:52:26.364
Sure, why not?
You seem harmless.

948
00:52:26.408 --> 00:52:27.773
I'm going to
give you my number.

949
00:52:27.810 --> 00:52:29.641
- Let me find a pen though.
- Great!

950
00:52:29.678 --> 00:52:31.839
- Let's see.
- That's... ah!

951
00:52:31.881 --> 00:52:34.145
- I know I have one in here somewhere.
- Look, why don't you

952
00:52:34.183 --> 00:52:36.117
just tell it to me?
I got a really good memory.

953
00:52:36.152 --> 00:52:38.313
- Well, the number's 555...
- 555.

954
00:52:38.354 --> 00:52:41.346
905... wait a minute.
That's my old number.

955
00:52:41.390 --> 00:52:43.620
That is so weird how
your mind just goes blank.

956
00:52:43.659 --> 00:52:46.492
For God's sakes, just
give me the damn number!

957
00:52:46.529 --> 00:52:50.124
Okay, look, uh, you gonna get pushy,
forget about it.

958
00:52:56.639 --> 00:52:58.800
Find a happy place.

959
00:52:58.841 --> 00:53:01.901
Find a happy place.
Find a happy place.

960
00:53:01.944 --> 00:53:04.504
I'll show you
a happy place.

961
00:53:05.514 --> 00:53:08.449
Here's your happy place.

962
00:53:15.958 --> 00:53:18.256
- (yells)
- (groans)

963
00:53:18.294 --> 00:53:20.922
(panting)

964
00:53:37.780 --> 00:53:40.340
(whimpers)

965
00:53:40.382 --> 00:53:43.818
<i>(police radio chattering)</i>

966
00:53:43.852 --> 00:53:45.945
<i>Man: Move those cars!
Move it! Move it!</i>

967
00:53:52.261 --> 00:53:54.195
<i>Go around, man.
Go around.</i>

968
00:53:54.230 --> 00:53:56.926
<i>More flags over here!</i>

969
00:53:56.966 --> 00:53:58.900
All right,
any sign of them yet?

970
00:53:58.934 --> 00:54:00.925
No, sir, but we're
expecting them shortly.

971
00:54:00.970 --> 00:54:04.098
A motorist saw a pooch about 30 miles
back headed this way.

972
00:54:08.644 --> 00:54:12.273
Look, I told you what happened, okay?
So just drop it.

973
00:54:12.314 --> 00:54:14.441
Yeah, okay. Sure thing, Lloyd.
Sure thing.

974
00:54:14.483 --> 00:54:16.951
I promise not
to mention another word

975
00:54:16.986 --> 00:54:19.454
about you being
in a bathroom

976
00:54:19.488 --> 00:54:21.456
with a 6'4" trucker
with his pants down.

977
00:54:21.490 --> 00:54:23.890
(laughs)

978
00:54:31.634 --> 00:54:34.000
<i>Hey, look.
We're almost in Colorado.</i>

979
00:54:34.036 --> 00:54:36.266
What do you say
we change seats?

980
00:54:36.305 --> 00:54:38.535
I've been driving
for nine straight hours.

981
00:54:38.574 --> 00:54:41.543
I don't have the energy
to start a new state.

982
00:54:41.577 --> 00:54:43.477
Why should I do you
any favors?

983
00:54:43.512 --> 00:54:46.572
I'll let you kiss me.
(laughs)

984
00:54:46.615 --> 00:54:48.583
I swear...

985
00:54:48.617 --> 00:54:50.881
I'm gonna...
I will take your...

986
00:54:50.919 --> 00:54:53.479
I'm... I swear to God
I'm gonna take your...

987
00:54:53.522 --> 00:54:56.355
<i>- Aw, come on...
- Don't touch me.</i>

988
00:54:56.392 --> 00:54:58.622
(mocking)
Oh, okay.

989
00:55:02.331 --> 00:55:05.061
I'm done.
Okay, enough.

990
00:55:07.303 --> 00:55:10.067
(mimics truck horn,
giggling)

991
00:55:14.043 --> 00:55:16.273
(laughing)

992
00:55:17.913 --> 00:55:20.541
Hey, guys.
Whoa, Big Gulps, huh?

993
00:55:20.582 --> 00:55:22.277
All right.

994
00:55:22.318 --> 00:55:24.946
Well, see you later.

995
00:55:26.889 --> 00:55:28.823
- (snoring)
- Hey, Harry,

996
00:55:28.857 --> 00:55:30.757
I got some beef jerk...

997
00:55:35.331 --> 00:55:38.994
Some people just weren't cut out
for life on the road.

998
00:55:39.034 --> 00:55:41.298
<i>("Crash" playing)</i>

999
00:55:41.337 --> 00:55:44.534
<i># Here you go,
way too fast #</i>

1000
00:55:44.573 --> 00:55:47.007
<i># Don't slow down,
you're gonna crash #</i>

1001
00:55:47.042 --> 00:55:50.375
<i># You should watch,
watch your step #</i>

1002
00:55:50.412 --> 00:55:52.710
<i># Don't look out,
gonna break your neck #</i>

1003
00:55:52.748 --> 00:55:55.740
<i># So shut,
shut your mouth #</i>

1004
00:55:55.784 --> 00:55:58.412
<i># 'Cause I'm not
listening anyhow #</i>

1005
00:55:58.454 --> 00:56:01.321
<i># I've had enough,
enough of you #</i>

1006
00:56:01.357 --> 00:56:04.326
<i># Enough to last
a lifetime through #</i>

1007
00:56:04.360 --> 00:56:06.089
<i># With you #</i>

1008
00:56:06.128 --> 00:56:10.155
<i>(fades)
# You. #</i>

1009
00:56:11.500 --> 00:56:13.434
Hey!

1010
00:56:13.469 --> 00:56:17.064
I was wondering when
you were gonna get up.

1011
00:56:17.106 --> 00:56:18.903
Ha!

1012
00:56:18.941 --> 00:56:21.876
Well, how long
have I been out?

1013
00:56:23.045 --> 00:56:26.173
I'd say
a good five hours.

1014
00:56:30.753 --> 00:56:33.551
Huh! I expected
the Rocky Mountains

1015
00:56:33.589 --> 00:56:36.717
to be a little
rockier than this.

1016
00:56:36.759 --> 00:56:39.557
I was thinking
the same thing.

1017
00:56:39.595 --> 00:56:43.087
That John Denver's
full of shit, man.

1018
00:56:46.902 --> 00:56:49.132
I'm only human, Harry!

1019
00:56:49.171 --> 00:56:52.607
<i>Anybody can
make a mistake.</i>

1020
00:56:52.641 --> 00:56:56.008
Come on,
stop being a baby!

1021
00:56:56.044 --> 00:56:58.569
So we backtracked
a tad!

1022
00:56:58.614 --> 00:57:00.514
A tad?!

1023
00:57:00.549 --> 00:57:02.642
A tad, Lloyd?

1024
00:57:02.684 --> 00:57:05.744
You drove almost
1/6 of the way

1025
00:57:05.788 --> 00:57:09.121
across the country
in the wrong direction!

1026
00:57:10.893 --> 00:57:13.418
Now we don't have enough money
to get to Aspen!

1027
00:57:13.462 --> 00:57:15.123
We don't have enough
money to get home!

1028
00:57:15.164 --> 00:57:17.655
We don't have enough
money to eat!

1029
00:57:17.699 --> 00:57:20.327
We don't have enough
money to sleep!

1030
00:57:21.603 --> 00:57:23.901
Well, it's not gonna
do us any good

1031
00:57:23.939 --> 00:57:25.770
to sit here
whining about it.

1032
00:57:25.808 --> 00:57:27.901
<i>- We're in a hole.
- ("Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" playing)</i>

1033
00:57:27.943 --> 00:57:30.411
We're just going to have to
dig ourselves out.

1034
00:57:31.947 --> 00:57:33.642
Okay, all right.
You're right.

1035
00:57:33.682 --> 00:57:35.582
You're absolutely
right, Lloyd.

1036
00:57:35.617 --> 00:57:37.915
<i>- # Mmm mmm mmm mmm #
- Where're you going?</i>

1037
00:57:37.953 --> 00:57:41.650
<i>- # Mmm mmm mmm mmm #
- Home. I'm walking home.</i>

1038
00:57:41.690 --> 00:57:46.184
Oh, well, pardon me,
Mr. Perfect!

1039
00:57:46.228 --> 00:57:47.991
I guess I forgot

1040
00:57:48.030 --> 00:57:50.658
that you never,
ever make a mistake!

1041
00:57:50.699 --> 00:57:53.759
<i>(singer vocalizing)</i>

1042
00:58:14.656 --> 00:58:17.147
<i>Lloyd: Harry!</i>

1043
00:58:17.192 --> 00:58:18.887
Harry!

1044
00:58:18.927 --> 00:58:21.623
Harry!

1045
00:58:21.663 --> 00:58:23.927
<i>Harry!
Wait up!</i>

1046
00:58:25.000 --> 00:58:27.332
- (engine backfires)
- (yells)

1047
00:58:34.176 --> 00:58:36.474
(bell rings)

1048
00:58:36.512 --> 00:58:38.480
<i>(bird cawing)</i>

1049
00:58:38.514 --> 00:58:41.483
Got room for one more
if you still want to go to Aspen.

1050
00:58:41.517 --> 00:58:43.644
Where did you
find that?

1051
00:58:43.685 --> 00:58:46.210
Some kid
back in town.

1052
00:58:46.255 --> 00:58:48.951
Traded the van for it
straight up.

1053
00:58:48.991 --> 00:58:52.154
I can get 70 miles
to the gallon on this hog.

1054
00:58:57.599 --> 00:59:00.033
You know, Lloyd,
just when I think

1055
00:59:00.068 --> 00:59:03.595
you couldn't possibly
be any dumber,

1056
00:59:03.639 --> 00:59:07.837
you go and do
something like this...

1057
00:59:07.876 --> 00:59:11.710
and totally
redeem yourself!

1058
00:59:11.747 --> 00:59:14.944
Ha ha!

1059
00:59:14.983 --> 00:59:17.213
- Still wanna go to Aspen?
- Oh, yeah!

1060
00:59:17.252 --> 00:59:20.915
- Okay, let's go, buddy!
- Super!

1061
00:59:20.956 --> 00:59:23.823
<i>- (bell rings)
- ("Where I Find My Heaven" playing)</i>

1062
00:59:23.859 --> 00:59:27.795
- Lloyd, no! West! Go west, Lloyd!
- Oh! Oh, yeah.

1063
00:59:36.672 --> 00:59:39.766
<i># Hey, Monday morning #</i>

1064
00:59:39.808 --> 00:59:43.209
<i># Is only for the brave #</i>

1065
00:59:43.245 --> 00:59:46.874
<i># And the blood flows
through my heart and veins #</i>

1066
00:59:46.915 --> 00:59:50.578
<i># Like sand as I shave #</i>

1067
00:59:50.619 --> 00:59:53.884
<i># And the wind outside #</i>

1068
00:59:53.922 --> 00:59:56.652
<i># And the taxi's ready... #</i>

1069
00:59:56.692 --> 00:59:59.661
<i>- (horn honks)
- # And the lonesome hum #</i>

1070
00:59:59.695 --> 01:00:01.993
<i># That comes
from my desk lamp #</i>

1071
01:00:02.030 --> 01:00:05.796
<i># Is where I find
my heaven #</i>

1072
01:00:05.834 --> 01:00:11.204
<i># It's where I find
my heaven... #</i>

1073
01:00:12.941 --> 01:00:15.341
I've got to...
I've got to stop

1074
01:00:15.377 --> 01:00:17.572
to go to
the bathroom.

1075
01:00:17.613 --> 01:00:20.013
Just go, man.

1076
01:00:21.350 --> 01:00:23.147
Oh!

1077
01:00:24.987 --> 01:00:27.217
That sure is warm.

1078
01:00:31.627 --> 01:00:34.118
<i># It's where I find
my heaven #</i>

1079
01:00:34.162 --> 01:00:37.859
<i>- # It's where I find my heaven #
- # Where I find my... #</i>

1080
01:00:37.899 --> 01:00:40.094
<i># It's where I find
my heaven... #</i>

1081
01:00:40.135 --> 01:00:42.865
(truck horn honks)

1082
01:00:42.904 --> 01:00:46.635
<i># Heav... #</i>

1083
01:00:46.675 --> 01:00:51.476
<i># Heaven. #</i>

1084
01:00:59.888 --> 01:01:02.948
(both shivering)

1085
01:01:08.230 --> 01:01:10.562
<i>(bell tolling)</i>

1086
01:01:28.417 --> 01:01:30.908
We're there.

1087
01:01:38.393 --> 01:01:40.327
Got a little nippy

1088
01:01:40.362 --> 01:01:43.331
going through
the pass back there.

1089
01:01:45.767 --> 01:01:48.361
<i>Lloyd:
Isn't this incredible?</i>

1090
01:01:48.403 --> 01:01:51.372
- What more could two single guys want?
- How about some food?

1091
01:01:51.406 --> 01:01:54.375
I swallowed a big June bug
when we were driving.

1092
01:01:54.409 --> 01:01:55.899
I'm not
really hungry.

1093
01:01:55.944 --> 01:01:57.878
Well, I'm starving.

1094
01:01:57.913 --> 01:02:01.007
Ho... Jeez, look at
the butt on that.

1095
01:02:01.049 --> 01:02:03.108
<i>Lloyd: Yeah.</i>

1096
01:02:03.151 --> 01:02:05.984
He must work out.

1097
01:02:06.021 --> 01:02:08.080
Hey! Why don't we get busy

1098
01:02:08.123 --> 01:02:09.988
and deliver
the briefcase to Mary?

1099
01:02:10.025 --> 01:02:11.754
If I know her as well
as I think I do

1100
01:02:11.793 --> 01:02:13.988
she'll invite us right in
for tea and strumpets.

1101
01:02:14.029 --> 01:02:16.088
Good plan.
Where does she live?

1102
01:02:16.131 --> 01:02:18.031
I don't know.

1103
01:02:18.066 --> 01:02:20.728
What's her last name?
I'll look it up.

1104
01:02:20.769 --> 01:02:22.703
Uh...

1105
01:02:22.738 --> 01:02:26.230
You know, I don't
really recall.

1106
01:02:26.274 --> 01:02:28.105
Starts with an "S."

1107
01:02:28.143 --> 01:02:32.341
S-swim, Swamie,
S-slippy, Slappy,

1108
01:02:32.380 --> 01:02:35.042
Slimin, Solmon,
Simin, Sal,

1109
01:02:35.083 --> 01:02:36.243
Swenson, Swanson?

1110
01:02:36.284 --> 01:02:38.081
Maybe it's on
the briefcase.

1111
01:02:38.120 --> 01:02:39.985
Oh, yeah!
It's right here.

1112
01:02:40.021 --> 01:02:42.421
Samsonite!
I was way off.

1113
01:02:42.457 --> 01:02:44.721
I knew it started
with an "S" though.

1114
01:02:46.161 --> 01:02:48.254
I'm not seeing
it here, Lloyd.

1115
01:02:48.296 --> 01:02:50.560
She must be unlisted.

1116
01:02:53.235 --> 01:02:55.203
Great.

1117
01:02:55.237 --> 01:02:57.467
So what are we
supposed to do now?

1118
01:02:57.506 --> 01:03:00.998
<i>(fox howls)</i>

1119
01:03:01.042 --> 01:03:05.103
<i>- I can't feel my fi-fingers anymore.
- (wind whistling)</i>

1120
01:03:05.147 --> 01:03:08.139
They're-they're-
they're numb.

1121
01:03:09.851 --> 01:03:12.979
Ooh. Maybe you should
wear these extra gloves.

1122
01:03:13.021 --> 01:03:15.956
My hands are starting
to get sweaty.

1123
01:03:15.991 --> 01:03:19.188
Extra gloves?

1124
01:03:19.227 --> 01:03:21.525
You've had this pair

1125
01:03:21.563 --> 01:03:24.327
of extra gloves
this whole time?

1126
01:03:25.967 --> 01:03:28.367
Yeah. We're in
the Rockies.

1127
01:03:30.972 --> 01:03:32.735
I'm going to kill you.

1128
01:03:33.942 --> 01:03:36.467
- What?
- I'm gonna kill you!

1129
01:03:36.511 --> 01:03:39.810
- I'm gonna kill you, Lloyd!
- Calm down!

1130
01:03:39.848 --> 01:03:41.372
Right now,
I'm gonna kill you!

1131
01:03:41.416 --> 01:03:43.748
Harry, you got that crazy look
in your eye!

1132
01:03:45.353 --> 01:03:49.312
(chuckles)
I know what I'm going to do.

1133
01:03:49.357 --> 01:03:51.484
<i>- What are you doing?
- I'm going to do something</i>

1134
01:03:51.526 --> 01:03:54.051
I should have done
a long time ago.

1135
01:03:55.063 --> 01:03:56.860
Don't do anything
foolish, Harry!

1136
01:03:56.898 --> 01:03:59.230
What? Foolish?
This isn't foolish!

1137
01:03:59.267 --> 01:04:01.565
I'm going to toss
this damn curse

1138
01:04:01.603 --> 01:04:03.901
right into
that damn pond!

1139
01:04:03.939 --> 01:04:05.668
<i>Aah!</i>

1140
01:04:07.175 --> 01:04:10.372
- I'm going to do it!
- No, Harry!

1141
01:04:12.314 --> 01:04:15.215
(screams)
Harry!

1142
01:04:15.250 --> 01:04:17.844
Your hands
are freezing!

1143
01:04:17.886 --> 01:04:20.286
Aah! Ugh!

1144
01:04:20.322 --> 01:04:22.586
Harry, look!

1145
01:04:22.624 --> 01:04:25.320
Look! Look!

1146
01:04:30.098 --> 01:04:32.396
Okay, here's the plan:

1147
01:04:32.434 --> 01:04:35.301
We borrow a few bucks...
just a small loan from the briefcase

1148
01:04:35.337 --> 01:04:38.363
- and we find some reasonable lodgings.
- Good plan.

1149
01:04:38.406 --> 01:04:41.102
And we'll keep track of all the money
we spend with IOUs.

1150
01:04:41.142 --> 01:04:43.372
We'll be meticulous,
right down to the last penny.

1151
01:04:43.411 --> 01:04:45.845
- Whatever we borrow, we pay back.
- Absolutely.

1152
01:04:45.881 --> 01:04:48.281
- We're good for it.
- Our word is our bond.

1153
01:04:49.985 --> 01:04:51.976
This is
the Hotel Danbury

1154
01:04:52.020 --> 01:04:53.988
Presidential Suite,
gentlemen,

1155
01:04:54.022 --> 01:04:56.013
<i>normally reserved
for royalty,</i>

1156
01:04:56.057 --> 01:04:57.854
<i>visiting dignitaries,</i>

1157
01:04:57.893 --> 01:05:00.293
<i>illustrious stars
of stage and screen.</i>

1158
01:05:00.328 --> 01:05:03.855
<i>We have shortly coming the Emperor
and Empress of Japan,</i>

1159
01:05:03.899 --> 01:05:06.868
<i>and of course, Princess Charles and Di
when they were together</i>

1160
01:05:06.902 --> 01:05:08.893
<i>used to frequent
the hotel constantly.</i>

1161
01:05:08.937 --> 01:05:10.427
We'll take it!

1162
01:05:10.472 --> 01:05:12.804
<i>- (engine revs)
- ("You Sexy Thing" playing)</i>

1163
01:05:19.447 --> 01:05:23.042
<i># I believe
in miracles, baby #</i>

1164
01:05:23.084 --> 01:05:26.485
<i># Since you came along,
you sexy thing #</i>

1165
01:05:26.521 --> 01:05:28.512
<i># You sexy thing, you #</i>

1166
01:05:28.556 --> 01:05:31.650
<i># I believe
in miracles, baby #</i>

1167
01:05:31.693 --> 01:05:34.287
<i># Since you came along #</i>

1168
01:05:34.329 --> 01:05:38.561
<i>- # You sexy thing #
- # You sexy thing, you... #</i>

1169
01:05:40.068 --> 01:05:41.797
There you go.

1170
01:05:43.471 --> 01:05:45.439
- There you go.
- Thank you, sir.

1171
01:05:45.473 --> 01:05:47.407
- There you go.
- Thank you, sir.

1172
01:05:47.442 --> 01:05:49.103
- There you go.
- Thank you, sir.

1173
01:05:49.144 --> 01:05:51.544
There you go.

1174
01:05:53.448 --> 01:05:55.313
Hi.

1175
01:05:55.350 --> 01:05:57.079
(both sobbing)

1176
01:05:57.118 --> 01:05:59.552
<i>Narrator on TV:
Rain brought them to him.</i>

1177
01:05:59.587 --> 01:06:01.452
<i>Girl on TV:
My mother was Sarah Carver.</i>

1178
01:06:01.489 --> 01:06:03.684
<i>Narrator:
Although at the time, he wasn't sure</i>

1179
01:06:03.725 --> 01:06:05.989
<i>he wanted to accept the gift.</i>

1180
01:06:06.027 --> 01:06:08.393
<i>Girl on TV:
Nick, do you think he'll let us stay?</i>

1181
01:06:08.430 --> 01:06:10.455
<i>Nick on TV:
No, this place is ugly, anyway.</i>

1182
01:06:10.498 --> 01:06:13.592
<i>You and me,
we're a family.</i>

1183
01:06:13.635 --> 01:06:16.160
<i>Man:
I promise never to give you away.</i>

1184
01:06:16.204 --> 01:06:19.037
<i>And no one's
ever going to break us apart.</i>

1185
01:06:19.074 --> 01:06:22.237
<i>At Pacific Bell, we believe
that's pretty special.</i>

1186
01:06:22.277 --> 01:06:23.924
- Wow! Boy, this is livin', huh?
- Yeah.

1187
01:06:23.959 --> 01:06:25.571
- Wow! Boy, this is livin', huh?
- Yeah.

1188
01:06:25.613 --> 01:06:28.138
- What's on next?
- I don't know.

1189
01:06:28.183 --> 01:06:30.413
Let me look it up.

1190
01:06:30.452 --> 01:06:32.317
Ah!

1191
01:06:32.354 --> 01:06:34.379
Lloyd, you okay?

1192
01:06:34.422 --> 01:06:36.515
Harry, it's Mary!

1193
01:06:36.558 --> 01:06:38.355
It's who?

1194
01:06:38.393 --> 01:06:40.520
Mary with
the briefcase.

1195
01:06:40.562 --> 01:06:43.725
<i>Mary Swanson.</i>

1196
01:06:43.765 --> 01:06:46.165
Swanson!

1197
01:06:46.201 --> 01:06:49.398
- Wool hast anool...
- "Host annual."

1198
01:06:49.437 --> 01:06:53.134
- Host anewl... annual...
- Annual.

1199
01:06:53.174 --> 01:06:54.971
"Annual meeting of..."

1200
01:06:55.010 --> 01:06:56.978
t-t-t-heh...

1201
01:06:57.012 --> 01:06:58.536
t-he... t-he...

1202
01:06:58.580 --> 01:07:00.445
- The.
- Oh.

1203
01:07:00.482 --> 01:07:03.542
- "The Inter..." (sighs)
- Yeah. It's a big one.

1204
01:07:03.585 --> 01:07:06.611
"International Preservation Society
tomorrow night."

1205
01:07:06.654 --> 01:07:09.521
<i>("Oh, Pretty Woman"
playing)</i>

1206
01:07:09.557 --> 01:07:11.286
Well, come on,
Cinderella.

1207
01:07:11.326 --> 01:07:14.193
We've got to get you
ready for the ball!

1208
01:07:21.136 --> 01:07:24.594
<i># Pretty woman,
walking down the street #</i>

1209
01:07:24.639 --> 01:07:28.405
<i># Pretty woman,
the kind I like to meet #</i>

1210
01:07:28.443 --> 01:07:31.003
<i># Pretty woman #</i>

1211
01:07:31.046 --> 01:07:34.709
<i># I don't believe you,
you're not the truth #</i>

1212
01:07:34.749 --> 01:07:39.015
<i># No one could look
as good as you... #</i>

1213
01:07:41.189 --> 01:07:42.713
<i>- (grinding)
- # Mercy! #</i>

1214
01:07:46.227 --> 01:07:50.095
<i># Pretty woman,
won't you pardon me? #</i>

1215
01:07:50.131 --> 01:07:54.067
<i># Pretty woman,
I couldn't help but see #</i>

1216
01:07:54.102 --> 01:07:56.662
<i># Pretty woman #</i>

1217
01:07:56.704 --> 01:08:00.470
<i># That you look lovely
as can be #</i>

1218
01:08:00.508 --> 01:08:06.344
<i># Are you lonely
just like me? #</i>

1219
01:08:06.381 --> 01:08:08.872
<i>(singer growls)</i>

1220
01:08:12.821 --> 01:08:16.757
<i># Pretty woman,
stop awhile #</i>

1221
01:08:16.791 --> 01:08:20.488
<i># Pretty woman,
talk awhile #</i>

1222
01:08:20.528 --> 01:08:27.457
<i># Pretty woman,
give your smile to me #</i>

1223
01:08:27.502 --> 01:08:31.666
<i># Pretty woman,
yeah yeah yeah #</i>

1224
01:08:31.706 --> 01:08:35.403
<i>- (scissors snipping)
- # Pretty woman, look my way #</i>

1225
01:08:35.443 --> 01:08:40.005
<i># Pretty woman,
say you'll stay with me... #</i>

1226
01:08:41.883 --> 01:08:45.080
<i># 'Cause I need you #</i>

1227
01:08:45.120 --> 01:08:48.385
<i>- # I'll treat you right... #
- (loud buzzing)</i>

1228
01:08:48.423 --> 01:08:52.382
<i># Come with me, baby #</i>

1229
01:08:52.427 --> 01:08:55.362
<i># Be mine tonight... #</i>

1230
01:08:55.396 --> 01:08:57.762
Yeah!

1231
01:09:00.635 --> 01:09:01.669
<i># Pretty woman. #</i>

1232
01:09:02.737 --> 01:09:04.830
<i>(lounge music playing)</i>

1233
01:09:06.674 --> 01:09:08.665
Thanks, Barn.
There you go.

1234
01:09:08.710 --> 01:09:10.701
Thank you, sir.

1235
01:09:27.362 --> 01:09:28.886
Okay okay okay.

1236
01:09:28.930 --> 01:09:30.454
- Ha!
- Cripes!

1237
01:09:30.498 --> 01:09:32.693
Yes! Yes! Yes!

1238
01:09:36.571 --> 01:09:38.038
Agh!

1239
01:09:39.407 --> 01:09:42.171
- Time out!
- Okay.

1240
01:09:42.210 --> 01:09:45.646
Excuse me. Gentlemen, this is
a $500-a-plate dinner.

1241
01:09:45.680 --> 01:09:49.172
- Good night.
- Oh, 500... oh, okay. No problem.

1242
01:09:49.217 --> 01:09:52.243
Here. Put us down for...
put us down for four.

1243
01:09:52.287 --> 01:09:54.448
In case we
want seconds.

1244
01:09:55.757 --> 01:09:58.021
(inhales sharply)

1245
01:10:00.828 --> 01:10:03.353
Jesus Christ.
It's them.

1246
01:10:03.398 --> 01:10:04.922
- Them who?
- Them,

1247
01:10:04.966 --> 01:10:07.628
the guys who
whacked Mental.

1248
01:10:08.670 --> 01:10:10.262
Can't you just
feel it, Harry?

1249
01:10:10.305 --> 01:10:11.932
This is our
big chance, man.

1250
01:10:11.973 --> 01:10:13.736
All we gotta do

1251
01:10:13.775 --> 01:10:16.243
is show a little class,
a little sophistication,

1252
01:10:16.277 --> 01:10:18.302
and we're in like
a dirty shirt.

1253
01:10:18.346 --> 01:10:20.780
That's no problem, Lloyd.
We can be classy and sophistic...

1254
01:10:20.815 --> 01:10:22.783
oh, look at the funbags
on that hosehound.

1255
01:10:22.817 --> 01:10:25.285
I'd like to eat her liver with
some fava beans

1256
01:10:25.320 --> 01:10:27.288
<i>and a nice
bottle of Chianti.</i>

1257
01:10:27.322 --> 01:10:29.654
(both mimic
Hannibal Lecter)

1258
01:10:29.691 --> 01:10:32.524
Come on, let's go get a couple bowls
of loudmouth soup.

1259
01:10:32.560 --> 01:10:34.289
Yeah.

1260
01:10:34.329 --> 01:10:36.422
Hey, bartender,

1261
01:10:36.464 --> 01:10:38.659
- two martinis, please.
- Yes, sir. Right away.

1262
01:10:38.700 --> 01:10:41.669
<i>Nicholas: Ladies and gentlemen,
can I have your attention, please?</i>

1263
01:10:41.703 --> 01:10:43.796
The Aspen
Preservation Society

1264
01:10:43.838 --> 01:10:45.863
is the world's
foremost defender

1265
01:10:45.907 --> 01:10:48.899
of 23 endangered
species,

1266
01:10:48.943 --> 01:10:51.434
and it is with
tremendous honor

1267
01:10:51.479 --> 01:10:54.243
that we're able to bring
Mr. Swanson forward

1268
01:10:54.282 --> 01:10:56.648
to introduce us
to the 24th. Everybody...

1269
01:10:56.684 --> 01:10:58.618
Karl.

1270
01:10:58.653 --> 01:11:00.814
Thank you, Nick.

1271
01:11:02.857 --> 01:11:04.791
Thank you.

1272
01:11:04.826 --> 01:11:06.623
Ladies and gentlemen,

1273
01:11:06.661 --> 01:11:09.653
I give you
the Icelandic snow owl.

1274
01:11:09.697 --> 01:11:13.463
<i>(drum roll)</i>

1275
01:11:13.501 --> 01:11:14.695
<i>(cymbals crash)</i>

1276
01:11:14.736 --> 01:11:17.296
(applause)

1277
01:11:17.338 --> 01:11:20.796
These magnificent specimens
constitute one seventh

1278
01:11:20.842 --> 01:11:23.675
of the snow owl population
left on the planet.

1279
01:11:23.711 --> 01:11:26.646
And God willing,
with your help

1280
01:11:26.681 --> 01:11:28.740
and that of
the Society's,

1281
01:11:28.783 --> 01:11:31.946
these wonderful creatures
will flourish once more.

1282
01:11:31.986 --> 01:11:35.183
<i>Thank you again
and enjoy your evening.</i>

1283
01:11:37.792 --> 01:11:40.022
Can I have
some pistachios, please?

1284
01:11:41.963 --> 01:11:43.828
And another one
of those.

1285
01:11:43.865 --> 01:11:46.265
Lloyd, what are you doing?
Would you calm down?

1286
01:11:46.301 --> 01:11:48.769
I've never seen you
so nervous.

1287
01:11:48.803 --> 01:11:52.534
Keep an eye on 'em, Shay.
Keep a close eye.

1288
01:11:52.573 --> 01:11:54.734
I'm ready for
a commitment, Harry.

1289
01:11:54.776 --> 01:11:57.609
The first time
I set eyes on Mary Swanson,

1290
01:11:57.645 --> 01:12:01.308
I just got that old-fashioned
romantic feeling

1291
01:12:01.349 --> 01:12:03.613
where I'd do anything
to bone her.

1292
01:12:03.651 --> 01:12:05.744
That's a special
feeling, Lloyd.

1293
01:12:05.787 --> 01:12:07.778
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1294
01:12:07.822 --> 01:12:10.882
<i>Oh my,
there she is.</i>

1295
01:12:10.925 --> 01:12:13.291
Wow! You weren't
kidding, Lloyd.

1296
01:12:13.328 --> 01:12:15.990
She's an angel!
(whistles)

1297
01:12:16.998 --> 01:12:18.761
Well, what are
you waiting for?

1298
01:12:18.800 --> 01:12:21.633
Get over there
and talk to her.

1299
01:12:25.473 --> 01:12:27.805
She's just going to think
I'm some kind of a psycho

1300
01:12:27.842 --> 01:12:30.072
when she finds out
how far I came just to see her!

1301
01:12:30.111 --> 01:12:31.976
You know what you have?!
Her briefcase!

1302
01:12:32.013 --> 01:12:35.005
She's gonna be
thrilled to see you.

1303
01:12:35.049 --> 01:12:38.348
<i>Wait.
I have an idea.</i>

1304
01:12:39.620 --> 01:12:41.952
<i>Why don't you go over</i>

1305
01:12:41.989 --> 01:12:43.923
and introduce yourself?

1306
01:12:43.958 --> 01:12:45.926
And that way,
you can build me up

1307
01:12:45.960 --> 01:12:47.928
so I won't have to
brag about myself later.

1308
01:12:47.962 --> 01:12:49.896
Tell her I'm rich

1309
01:12:49.931 --> 01:12:52.399
and, uh,
I'm good-looking

1310
01:12:52.433 --> 01:12:54.458
and, uh, I have
a rapist wit.

1311
01:12:54.502 --> 01:12:56.561
No, I don't know.
I don't think I could... no.

1312
01:12:56.604 --> 01:12:59.368
- Come on, please.
- No, I'm not...

1313
01:12:59.407 --> 01:13:02.501
- Please! Please!
- Okay okay okay. Stop.

1314
01:13:02.543 --> 01:13:04.443
What are you gonna do?

1315
01:13:04.479 --> 01:13:06.743
I'm going to
hang by the bar,

1316
01:13:06.781 --> 01:13:10.148
- put out the vibe.
- Okay.

1317
01:13:20.828 --> 01:13:23.228
Nice set of hooters
you got there.

1318
01:13:25.533 --> 01:13:28.798
- I beg your pardon?
- The owls, they're beautiful.

1319
01:13:30.171 --> 01:13:32.503
Oh.

1320
01:13:32.540 --> 01:13:34.508
Yeah.

1321
01:13:34.542 --> 01:13:36.476
Are you
a bird lover?

1322
01:13:36.511 --> 01:13:39.002
Me? Oh, no.
Well, I used to have a parakeet...

1323
01:13:39.046 --> 01:13:41.947
- Ah.
...but now my main area of expertise

1324
01:13:41.983 --> 01:13:44.474
is, uh, canines...

1325
01:13:44.519 --> 01:13:46.646
"dogs"
to the layperson.

1326
01:13:47.655 --> 01:13:49.850
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.

1327
01:13:50.858 --> 01:13:53.827
- I love dogs too.
- Oh.

1328
01:13:53.861 --> 01:13:56.125
- So how are you involved with them?
- Oh, you know,

1329
01:13:56.164 --> 01:13:59.133
I've trained them, bathed them,
clipped them.

1330
01:13:59.167 --> 01:14:00.930
- I've even bred them.
- Oh, really?

1331
01:14:00.968 --> 01:14:02.936
- Any unusual breeding?
- No.

1332
01:14:02.970 --> 01:14:05.029
Mostly just doggy-style.

1333
01:14:05.072 --> 01:14:08.405
One time,
we successfully mated

1334
01:14:08.443 --> 01:14:10.809
a bulldog
with a shih-tzu.

1335
01:14:10.845 --> 01:14:13.746
Really?
That's weird.

1336
01:14:13.781 --> 01:14:16.409
Yeah. We...
we called it a bullshit.

1337
01:14:16.451 --> 01:14:18.180
(laughing hysterically)

1338
01:14:27.562 --> 01:14:29.860
Oh, I'm... anyway,
the real reason

1339
01:14:29.897 --> 01:14:32.058
<i>I came over here
was to...</i>

1340
01:14:32.099 --> 01:14:35.034
<i>I've got to introduce you
to a buddy of mine.</i>

1341
01:14:35.069 --> 01:14:38.527
- I don't believe I've met your friend.
- Oh.

1342
01:14:38.573 --> 01:14:41.064
Well, actually, we haven't been
properly introduced.

1343
01:14:41.108 --> 01:14:43.872
- My name is Mary Swanson.
- Hi, Harry Dunne.

1344
01:14:43.911 --> 01:14:46.641
Hi. Nice to meet you.
This is my stepmother Helen.

1345
01:14:46.681 --> 01:14:48.945
Hi. Harry Dunne.
Pleasure to meet you both.

1346
01:14:48.983 --> 01:14:51.178
Mm-hmm. Well,
I saw you come in.

1347
01:14:51.219 --> 01:14:53.517
I was hoping I'd get
a chance to meet you.

1348
01:14:53.554 --> 01:14:57.752
- You were? Really?
- Yes! That tuxedo, it's fabulous!

1349
01:14:57.792 --> 01:15:00.590
Really. I love a man
with a sense of humor,

1350
01:15:00.628 --> 01:15:03.495
and so does Mary.
It's hysterical!

1351
01:15:03.531 --> 01:15:05.089
- Really?
- Oh, yes.

1352
01:15:05.132 --> 01:15:08.124
<i>Oh. Anyway, um,
about my friend...</i>

1353
01:15:08.169 --> 01:15:11.502
What are you doing tomorrow?
I believe that Mary

1354
01:15:11.539 --> 01:15:13.200
is looking for someone
to hit the slopes with.

1355
01:15:13.241 --> 01:15:14.970
She... what? Huh?

1356
01:15:15.009 --> 01:15:17.944
Helen, you're
embarrassing me.

1357
01:15:17.979 --> 01:15:19.947
Well, you are.
I mean, after all,

1358
01:15:19.981 --> 01:15:22.108
the snow's going to be gone
in a couple of weeks.

1359
01:15:22.149 --> 01:15:24.014
And, well, this may be
your last chance.

1360
01:15:24.051 --> 01:15:26.144
Poor thing, she never
gets a chance to get out.

1361
01:15:26.187 --> 01:15:28.849
Well, what do you say, Mr. Dunne?
Are you available?

1362
01:15:28.890 --> 01:15:31.188
Well, I don't know.
See, my friend...

1363
01:15:31.225 --> 01:15:33.090
Oh, forget your friend
for one day.

1364
01:15:33.127 --> 01:15:36.221
I think you kids'll have
a wonderful time. What do you say?

1365
01:15:36.264 --> 01:15:38.494
Well, you know,
I don't know, you know.

1366
01:15:38.533 --> 01:15:40.967
You know, the thing...
part of... sure.

1367
01:15:41.002 --> 01:15:44.130
What time?
Ahem...

1368
01:15:47.542 --> 01:15:50.033
How come you didn't
bring her over?

1369
01:15:50.077 --> 01:15:52.045
Relax.
You're golden.

1370
01:15:52.079 --> 01:15:54.513
- I got you a date with her tomorrow.
- Oh.

1371
01:15:56.117 --> 01:15:58.551
- (stammers) What... I... this...
- Yeah.

1372
01:15:58.586 --> 01:16:00.850
- I love you, man.
- Okay okay.

1373
01:16:00.888 --> 01:16:02.719
- You're kissing me.
- I love you.

1374
01:16:02.757 --> 01:16:05.225
- I love you!
- You're kissing me. Lloyd!

1375
01:16:07.628 --> 01:16:10.256
This calls for
a little of the bubbly!

1376
01:16:10.298 --> 01:16:12.528
- You're going to be my best man, Harr.
- Oh, good.

1377
01:16:12.567 --> 01:16:14.125
- I promise.
- Thank you.

1378
01:16:14.168 --> 01:16:16.136
You have just
earned yourself a seat

1379
01:16:16.170 --> 01:16:20.129
at the head table, pal.
And we already got the tuxes.

1380
01:16:21.342 --> 01:16:23.276
<i>- (loud thud)
- (owl squawks)</i>

1381
01:16:26.981 --> 01:16:29.313
<i>- Woman: Gracious sakes!
- (crowd murmuring)</i>

1382
01:16:29.350 --> 01:16:33.013
<i>- Man: Good grief!
- Boy, this party really died.</i>

1383
01:16:40.124 --> 01:16:42.615
Hey, maybe it was
a coincidence.

1384
01:16:42.659 --> 01:16:45.184
(mimics)
Hey, maybe it was a coincidence.

1385
01:16:45.229 --> 01:16:48.687
It was a message, Shay,
pure and simple.

1386
01:16:48.732 --> 01:16:50.927
I mean, we killed
their bird.

1387
01:16:50.968 --> 01:16:53.994
Now they killed
one of ours.

1388
01:16:55.939 --> 01:16:57.998
How could anybody
whack a bird with a cork?

1389
01:16:58.041 --> 01:17:00.339
These guys aren't
just anybody.

1390
01:17:00.377 --> 01:17:03.437
They're good.

1391
01:17:09.319 --> 01:17:11.651
Mary Christmas.

1392
01:17:11.688 --> 01:17:14.452
Mrs. Mary Christmas.

1393
01:17:16.026 --> 01:17:19.427
- Kinda catchy, huh, Harr?
- Yeah yeah, that sounds nice.

1394
01:17:19.463 --> 01:17:22.864
But, Lloyd, don't you think you might be
jumping the gun a little bit?

1395
01:17:22.900 --> 01:17:24.834
I mean, you know,
who knows?

1396
01:17:24.868 --> 01:17:26.733
You know, maybe,
once you get to know her

1397
01:17:26.770 --> 01:17:29.102
you'll find out
that she's not your type.

1398
01:17:31.175 --> 01:17:32.938
Hey!

1399
01:17:32.976 --> 01:17:36.139
Don't you ever
say that again!

1400
01:17:37.214 --> 01:17:39.205
She is the love
of my life!

1401
01:17:39.249 --> 01:17:41.683
The blood in my veins!

1402
01:17:41.718 --> 01:17:43.413
<i>We belong together...</i>

1403
01:17:43.453 --> 01:17:45.751
till the mountains
fall into the sea,

1404
01:17:45.789 --> 01:17:47.689
till the heavens
collide!

1405
01:17:47.724 --> 01:17:50.318
Or until I get sick of her
and need to move on.

1406
01:17:50.360 --> 01:17:53.796
- You hear me?!
- Okay okay okay okay. Just calm down.

1407
01:17:53.831 --> 01:17:55.696
Just calm down.

1408
01:17:55.732 --> 01:17:58.223
(panting)
Okay.

1409
01:17:58.268 --> 01:18:01.328
Now...

1410
01:18:01.371 --> 01:18:03.839
let me
get this straight.

1411
01:18:03.874 --> 01:18:07.071
Lobby bar
in the lobby.

1412
01:18:07.110 --> 01:18:08.873
Yeah, and that's
what she said.

1413
01:18:08.912 --> 01:18:11.142
She'll meet you there
at 10:00 sharp.

1414
01:18:12.216 --> 01:18:14.343
- Okay.
- Okay.

1415
01:18:16.920 --> 01:18:19.150
Where're you going
in that get-up?

1416
01:18:20.824 --> 01:18:22.815
Oh. I... you know, I just thought,
you know,

1417
01:18:22.860 --> 01:18:24.953
when you'd be off making
your love connection

1418
01:18:24.995 --> 01:18:27.293
I'd be out trying my luck
on the slopes.

1419
01:18:27.331 --> 01:18:29.299
You mean you're gonna
go out in public

1420
01:18:29.333 --> 01:18:31.324
dressed in tights?

1421
01:18:31.368 --> 01:18:33.302
Oh no, these aren't
tights, Lloyd.

1422
01:18:33.337 --> 01:18:35.805
These are fashionable
Euro-trash ski trousers.

1423
01:18:35.839 --> 01:18:38.137
Pretty revealing.

1424
01:18:39.142 --> 01:18:40.439
Really?

1425
01:18:40.477 --> 01:18:42.502
Yeah, but it's
just a tiny lump.

1426
01:18:42.546 --> 01:18:44.946
No one'll notice.

1427
01:18:44.982 --> 01:18:47.542
You're right.
I can't go out dressed like this.

1428
01:18:49.786 --> 01:18:51.382
<i>("New Age Girl"
playing)</i>

1429
01:18:51.417 --> 01:18:52.979
<i>("New Age Girl"
playing)</i>

1430
01:18:53.023 --> 01:18:56.424
<i># Rah! #</i>

1431
01:18:56.460 --> 01:19:00.123
<i>- # I've got a New Age girl #
- # Tell us what she's like #</i>

1432
01:19:00.163 --> 01:19:03.792
<i>- # Environmentalist girl #
- # Does she ride a bike? #</i>

1433
01:19:03.834 --> 01:19:05.893
<i>- # She has a crystal necklace... #
- Hey!</i>

1434
01:19:05.936 --> 01:19:07.460
<i>- Coming!
- # She spend a lot of cash? #</i>

1435
01:19:07.504 --> 01:19:09.495
<i># Though her vibes
are rather reckless #</i>

1436
01:19:09.539 --> 01:19:12.303
<i>- # Heading for the crash... #
- Hey!</i>

1437
01:19:12.342 --> 01:19:15.106
Man:
Nice going, buddy!

1438
01:19:15.145 --> 01:19:17.875
<i># ... and she wonders about knowing,
where did we begin? #</i>

1439
01:19:17.915 --> 01:19:20.509
<i># Mary Moon #</i>

1440
01:19:20.550 --> 01:19:24.543
<i>- # She's a vegetarian #
- # Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon #</i>

1441
01:19:24.588 --> 01:19:29.389
<i># Mary Moon will help with all
the septuagenarians... #</i>

1442
01:19:29.426 --> 01:19:32.088
<i>- # Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon.
- Ma'am.</i>

1443
01:19:32.129 --> 01:19:36.156
<i># Mary Moon,
she's an intellectual... #</i>

1444
01:19:36.199 --> 01:19:38.167
Beautiful outfit,
sir.

1445
01:19:38.201 --> 01:19:40.260
There you go.

1446
01:19:40.304 --> 01:19:43.865
<i># Mary Moon, despite that fact,
remains quite sexual #</i>

1447
01:19:43.907 --> 01:19:46.398
<i># Mary Moon, Mary Moon,
Mary Moon. #</i>

1448
01:19:51.014 --> 01:19:53.812
Hey.
How you doin'?

1449
01:19:53.850 --> 01:19:55.511
You're a little early.

1450
01:19:55.552 --> 01:19:58.521
We don't open
for about 45 minutes.

1451
01:19:58.555 --> 01:20:00.955
I'm meeting
someone here.

1452
01:20:00.991 --> 01:20:05.223
- Mind if I wait at the bar?
- No. Come on in.

1453
01:20:07.631 --> 01:20:10.259
It's a beautiful day,
huh, Harry?

1454
01:20:10.300 --> 01:20:14.100
Yes yes, I've had a wonderful time
so far. Thank you.

1455
01:20:14.137 --> 01:20:17.072
God, it feels
so good to get up here.

1456
01:20:17.107 --> 01:20:20.543
I haven't been outside that much
in the last couple weeks.

1457
01:20:20.577 --> 01:20:23.011
Oh, yeah?
Why not?

1458
01:20:23.046 --> 01:20:26.914
Um, there's been
some family problems,

1459
01:20:26.950 --> 01:20:29.919
but I don't want
to bore you with those.

1460
01:20:29.953 --> 01:20:31.944
Thanks.

1461
01:20:31.989 --> 01:20:34.423
Oh, look. Frost.

1462
01:20:37.661 --> 01:20:41.290
- Harry?
- (grunting)

1463
01:20:43.333 --> 01:20:45.164
- Are you okay?
- (muffled) Oh, yeah,

1464
01:20:45.202 --> 01:20:48.399
I do this all the time.

1465
01:20:51.975 --> 01:20:54.273
Let's go to the top
this time.

1466
01:21:01.218 --> 01:21:05.177
<i>- Hi, there.
- Ugh...</i>

1467
01:21:05.222 --> 01:21:06.951
Say, kids,

1468
01:21:06.990 --> 01:21:08.890
you wouldn't
happen to have

1469
01:21:08.925 --> 01:21:11.018
a cup of warm water,
would you?

1470
01:21:11.061 --> 01:21:13.689
(slurps)
Yuck.

1471
01:21:17.434 --> 01:21:19.402
Excuse me.

1472
01:21:19.436 --> 01:21:21.631
Is it 10:00 A.M. Yet?

1473
01:21:22.639 --> 01:21:24.800
It's 1:00.

1474
01:21:27.477 --> 01:21:31.607
That's what I have too.
Thought maybe it was fast.

1475
01:21:34.618 --> 01:21:37.314
She's running late,
huh?

1476
01:21:37.354 --> 01:21:40.619
Just a couple hours.
You know girls.

1477
01:21:40.657 --> 01:21:43.353
When they're excited
about something,

1478
01:21:43.393 --> 01:21:45.725
everything has to
be perfect.

1479
01:21:53.270 --> 01:21:55.329
This one's on me.

1480
01:21:57.474 --> 01:21:59.465
Yippee.

1481
01:21:59.509 --> 01:22:01.443
Chablis, please.

1482
01:22:02.446 --> 01:22:04.641
Hello.

1483
01:22:06.349 --> 01:22:08.374
(belching)

1484
01:22:10.620 --> 01:22:12.713
Bad day, huh?

1485
01:22:13.723 --> 01:22:16.123
Me too.

1486
01:22:16.159 --> 01:22:18.024
'Course everything's
been bad

1487
01:22:18.061 --> 01:22:20.291
since I broke up
with my boyfriend.

1488
01:22:33.376 --> 01:22:35.810
(whispers)
Oh my God.

1489
01:22:39.049 --> 01:22:41.279
My God! You poor guy.
Does it hurt?

1490
01:22:41.318 --> 01:22:44.219
I'm fine. I saved
a seat for you.

1491
01:22:44.254 --> 01:22:46.017
(taps)

1492
01:22:46.056 --> 01:22:47.751
Oh no, listen. This is silly.
Let me help you.

1493
01:22:47.791 --> 01:22:49.691
No no no no no.

1494
01:22:49.726 --> 01:22:52.058
Yes. It'll only hurt for a moment,
like a Band-Aid.

1495
01:22:52.095 --> 01:22:54.529
<i>- Come on, ready?
- No no no no. No.</i>

1496
01:22:54.564 --> 01:22:56.395
Come on. Go.

1497
01:22:56.433 --> 01:22:58.298
(grunting)

1498
01:22:58.335 --> 01:23:00.326
<i>(crackling)</i>

1499
01:23:23.260 --> 01:23:26.593
<i># Well, if you want,
I'll be by your side #</i>

1500
01:23:26.630 --> 01:23:30.691
<i># And if you don't,
maybe suicide #</i>

1501
01:23:30.734 --> 01:23:34.568
<i># It's my love
that'd kill me, dear #</i>

1502
01:23:34.604 --> 01:23:37.767
<i># If you won't hold me
and have me near #</i>

1503
01:23:37.807 --> 01:23:42.176
<i># 'Cause I'll be good
to you in every way #</i>

1504
01:23:42.212 --> 01:23:45.375
<i># I'll give you loving,
baby, every day #</i>

1505
01:23:45.415 --> 01:23:48.816
<i># A loving that's good enough,
a loving that's all right #</i>

1506
01:23:48.852 --> 01:23:52.083
<i># I'll love you like an oven
on the coldest night #</i>

1507
01:23:52.122 --> 01:23:54.022
<i># Whoo! #</i>

1508
01:23:57.227 --> 01:23:58.888
<i>(loud thud)</i>

1509
01:24:07.270 --> 01:24:12.003
<i># 'Cause if you don't love me,
I'll kill myself #</i>

1510
01:24:14.844 --> 01:24:18.746
<i># If you don't love me,
I'll kill myself #</i>

1511
01:24:21.518 --> 01:24:25.545
<i># If you don't love me,
I'll kill myself #</i>

1512
01:24:25.589 --> 01:24:27.784
(screams)

1513
01:24:27.824 --> 01:24:33.126
<i># If you don't love me,
I'll kill myself #</i>

1514
01:24:34.130 --> 01:24:36.360
Come on, come on.

1515
01:24:36.399 --> 01:24:38.629
<i># If you don't love me. #</i>

1516
01:24:38.668 --> 01:24:43.128
- (chuckles)
- Pfft.

1517
01:24:43.173 --> 01:24:45.539
What am...

1518
01:24:45.575 --> 01:24:47.770
(laughing)

1519
01:24:48.912 --> 01:24:50.880
I said to myself,
"Run, Beth.

1520
01:24:50.914 --> 01:24:53.678
Run for your life before this man
kills you both."

1521
01:24:53.717 --> 01:24:56.379
Then do you know
what the klutz did?

1522
01:24:56.419 --> 01:24:59.217
<i>No, and I don't care!</i>

1523
01:24:59.256 --> 01:25:02.123
I'm going to tell you, He came home
one night dead drunk

1524
01:25:02.158 --> 01:25:04.217
and decided he wanted
to fix the sink.

1525
01:25:04.261 --> 01:25:05.751
Couldn't believe him.

1526
01:25:05.795 --> 01:25:08.229
Anyway, enough about me.
Let's talk about you.

1527
01:25:08.265 --> 01:25:10.495
- How come you're here?
- Bartender!

1528
01:25:10.533 --> 01:25:12.728
Yeah?

1529
01:25:12.769 --> 01:25:16.637
You wouldn't happen to know
a Mary Swanson, would you?

1530
01:25:16.673 --> 01:25:19.506
Mary Swanson? Yeah.

1531
01:25:19.542 --> 01:25:22.306
She comes in here
all the time.

1532
01:25:22.345 --> 01:25:24.176
What's that
supposed to mean?

1533
01:25:24.214 --> 01:25:25.647
She has dinner.

1534
01:25:25.682 --> 01:25:29.778
Oh. I'm sorry.

1535
01:25:32.188 --> 01:25:33.678
Uh...

1536
01:25:33.723 --> 01:25:37.591
you know where
she lives?

1537
01:25:37.627 --> 01:25:41.654
Yeah, her family has the big place
up on Alpine Drive.

1538
01:25:41.698 --> 01:25:44.826
Alpine Drive?
Big place?

1539
01:25:52.575 --> 01:25:54.907
No way!

1540
01:25:56.513 --> 01:25:58.572
That's great!

1541
01:25:58.615 --> 01:26:00.981
We landed
on the moon!

1542
01:26:07.691 --> 01:26:09.682
I've gotta tell you,

1543
01:26:09.726 --> 01:26:12.354
today was just what I needed.
Thanks a lot, Harry.

1544
01:26:12.395 --> 01:26:15.193
(slurred)
Blell, blit blas...

1545
01:26:15.231 --> 01:26:17.722
it was my pleasure,
Mary.

1546
01:26:17.767 --> 01:26:20.702
So you'll pick me up
tonight at 7:45?

1547
01:26:20.737 --> 01:26:22.568
Well, no, I've got
a few things

1548
01:26:22.605 --> 01:26:24.232
to take care of first.

1549
01:26:24.274 --> 01:26:25.935
Why don't we make it
quarter to 8:00?

1550
01:26:25.975 --> 01:26:30.241
(laughs)
Stop it!

1551
01:26:30.280 --> 01:26:32.874
Okay 7:45.

1552
01:26:34.351 --> 01:26:37.184
(kisses) Bye.

1553
01:27:21.564 --> 01:27:23.555
Doesn't make
any sense, Lloyd.

1554
01:27:23.600 --> 01:27:25.363
She told me
10:00 sharp!

1555
01:27:25.402 --> 01:27:27.734
Are you sure you went
to the right bar?

1556
01:27:27.771 --> 01:27:31.639
Oh, yeah. Yep.
I'm pretty sure.

1557
01:27:31.674 --> 01:27:34.837
Lobby bar.
Right in the lobby.

1558
01:27:34.878 --> 01:27:38.006
Ahh... well...

1559
01:27:38.047 --> 01:27:40.845
maybe she just had
a change of heart.

1560
01:27:40.884 --> 01:27:44.320
Oh, that pisses me off!
That pisses me right off!

1561
01:27:44.354 --> 01:27:46.345
I hate when women
do that, you know?

1562
01:27:46.389 --> 01:27:48.050
She wanted
to see you again!

1563
01:27:48.091 --> 01:27:49.956
She told me that!
And now no?

1564
01:27:49.993 --> 01:27:52.894
Now... wait a minute!
Wait!

1565
01:27:52.929 --> 01:27:55.864
She must have meant
10:00 at night.

1566
01:27:55.899 --> 01:27:58.424
Do you think?

1567
01:27:58.468 --> 01:28:02.461
Why would she have you meet her
at a bar at 10:00 in the morning?

1568
01:28:02.505 --> 01:28:04.666
I just figured she was
a raging alcoholic.

1569
01:28:04.707 --> 01:28:07.699
(both laughing)

1570
01:28:10.413 --> 01:28:12.677
- Oh, that's th...
- And all this time,

1571
01:28:12.715 --> 01:28:16.617
I've been going through such pain
and personal anguish.

1572
01:28:16.653 --> 01:28:19.713
Such hell!
For nothing!

1573
01:28:19.756 --> 01:28:21.553
Oh, God.
That's funny.

1574
01:28:21.591 --> 01:28:23.923
Oh, that's good stuff.
Oh, boy.

1575
01:28:23.960 --> 01:28:26.690
Well, listen, looks like
you got your night planned,

1576
01:28:26.729 --> 01:28:29.027
so I'm just going to head out
and catch a flick.

1577
01:28:29.065 --> 01:28:30.726
Okay.

1578
01:28:32.735 --> 01:28:35.101
10:00 in the morning.

1579
01:28:51.821 --> 01:28:54.449
Hey, Harry,
old buddy, old pal!

1580
01:28:54.491 --> 01:28:56.118
<i>Yeah?</i>

1581
01:28:56.159 --> 01:28:59.617
Will you join me in a good-luck toast
before you head out?

1582
01:28:59.662 --> 01:29:03.063
Oh, sure thing. Whatever you think
will help your chances.

1583
01:29:03.099 --> 01:29:05.465
Yes, sirree.

1584
01:29:05.502 --> 01:29:07.766
You know why
I like you, Harry?

1585
01:29:07.804 --> 01:29:10.034
Because you're
a regular guy.

1586
01:29:11.474 --> 01:29:14.875
Yep, that's why I want you
to stay regular.

1587
01:29:16.012 --> 01:29:20.813
1/2 teaspoon for fast,
effective relief.

1588
01:29:24.554 --> 01:29:28.115
(whistling)

1589
01:29:31.961 --> 01:29:34.122
(laughing)

1590
01:29:36.165 --> 01:29:38.565
Mmm!

1591
01:29:38.601 --> 01:29:41.468
<i>("Auld Lang Syne"
playing)</i>

1592
01:29:41.504 --> 01:29:45.600
To my friend Harry...
the matchmaker.

1593
01:29:45.642 --> 01:29:49.100
Oh, get out of here.
I'm... I've...

1594
01:29:51.915 --> 01:29:53.849
Mmm.

1595
01:29:53.883 --> 01:29:56.716
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

1596
01:29:56.753 --> 01:29:59.221
Mmm.

1597
01:30:08.998 --> 01:30:12.161
<i>(stomach rumbles)</i>

1598
01:30:13.570 --> 01:30:15.470
<i>(doorbell rings)</i>

1599
01:30:15.505 --> 01:30:18.269
<i>Mary: Hi, the door's open.
Come on upstairs.</i>

1600
01:30:23.546 --> 01:30:24.979
- Hi.
- Hi.

1601
01:30:25.014 --> 01:30:26.641
Hi, make yourself
at home, okay?

1602
01:30:26.683 --> 01:30:28.150
I'm almost ready.
One minute?

1603
01:30:28.184 --> 01:30:30.709
- Okay, sounds good.
- Okay.

1604
01:30:41.030 --> 01:30:43.863
(stomach violently
gurgling)

1605
01:31:05.622 --> 01:31:08.819
(loud sputtering)

1606
01:31:09.826 --> 01:31:12.920
(trills)

1607
01:31:25.908 --> 01:31:28.570
<i>(sputtering continues)</i>

1608
01:31:28.611 --> 01:31:30.579
(sighs)

1609
01:31:30.613 --> 01:31:32.945
(chuckles)

1610
01:31:37.553 --> 01:31:40.454
(panting)

1611
01:31:52.669 --> 01:31:54.136
<i>(knocks)</i>

1612
01:31:54.170 --> 01:31:56.934
<i>Mary: Harry, are you
in there?</i>

1613
01:31:56.973 --> 01:31:58.964
Be right out!

1614
01:31:59.008 --> 01:32:02.774
I hope you're not using the toilet.
It's broken.

1615
01:32:02.812 --> 01:32:05.872
<i>(ominous music plays)</i>

1616
01:32:05.915 --> 01:32:09.612
<i>- Huh?
- The toilet doesn't flush.</i>

1617
01:32:09.652 --> 01:32:11.847
No, I was
just shaving.

1618
01:32:11.888 --> 01:32:14.083
Shaving?

1619
01:32:14.123 --> 01:32:16.648
<i>Yeah, I was running
a little late.</i>

1620
01:32:16.693 --> 01:32:19.161
<i>I thought this
would save some time.</i>

1621
01:32:21.164 --> 01:32:25.396
Okay well, I'll be in the kitchen
whenever you're ready.

1622
01:32:27.970 --> 01:32:30.632
Oh, Jeez!

1623
01:32:30.673 --> 01:32:32.537
<i>- (laughing maniacally)
- (whimsical music playing)</i>

1624
01:32:32.572 --> 01:32:34.401
<i>- (laughing maniacally)
- (whimsical music playing)</i>

1625
01:32:45.888 --> 01:32:47.719
Tomorrow on
"A Current Affair,"

1626
01:32:47.757 --> 01:32:50.317
inside the home of the Menendez
brothers' attorney.

1627
01:32:50.359 --> 01:32:52.589
And next, we'll be
back in a minute

1628
01:32:52.628 --> 01:32:57.031
with the heartbreaking story
of the blind Rhode Island boy

1629
01:32:57.066 --> 01:33:00.001
who was duped into
buying a dead parakeet.

1630
01:33:00.036 --> 01:33:03.199
I just thought
he was real quiet.

1631
01:33:07.944 --> 01:33:09.673
Who are these
sick people?

1632
01:33:09.712 --> 01:33:11.543
<i>(doorbell rings)</i>

1633
01:33:14.784 --> 01:33:16.843
- Hi!
- Hi.

1634
01:33:16.886 --> 01:33:18.945
Yes?

1635
01:33:18.988 --> 01:33:20.683
Remember me?

1636
01:33:21.691 --> 01:33:24.922
Uh... not really.

1637
01:33:24.961 --> 01:33:28.920
Providen...
Providence.

1638
01:33:28.965 --> 01:33:30.990
I drove you
to the airport last week.

1639
01:33:31.033 --> 01:33:32.898
Oh my God!

1640
01:33:32.935 --> 01:33:35.665
Uh... Lloyd, right?

1641
01:33:35.705 --> 01:33:39.266
You remembered
my name.

1642
01:33:39.308 --> 01:33:41.708
What are you doing
in Aspen?

1643
01:33:41.744 --> 01:33:43.336
I brought you
your briefcase.

1644
01:33:43.379 --> 01:33:47.110
You left it at the airport,
you big goof!

1645
01:33:47.150 --> 01:33:49.983
- You have my briefcase?
- Yeah.

1646
01:33:50.019 --> 01:33:52.146
Hey, I have it
at my hotel room.

1647
01:33:52.188 --> 01:33:54.850
You want to jump on the bike with me?
We can go get it

1648
01:33:54.891 --> 01:33:58.349
unless...
unless you're busy.

1649
01:33:58.394 --> 01:34:00.328
Oh, no no no!
No no!

1650
01:34:00.363 --> 01:34:02.228
- I don't wanna...
- You just wait right here.

1651
01:34:02.265 --> 01:34:03.960
- Okay.
- Okay?

1652
01:34:08.805 --> 01:34:11.296
Come on, flush,
you bastard!

1653
01:34:14.911 --> 01:34:17.243
<i>Mary: Harry, what are
you doing in there?</i>

1654
01:34:17.280 --> 01:34:22.650
<i>- I'm just... I'm cleaning my teeth!
- (clattering)</i>

1655
01:34:35.965 --> 01:34:37.626
<i>I'm cleaning my teeth.</i>

1656
01:34:39.101 --> 01:34:41.262
I'm gargling.

1657
01:34:41.304 --> 01:34:43.966
Just give me a minute, Mary.
I'll be right with you.

1658
01:34:44.006 --> 01:34:46.304
Harry, I'm sorry, but something
important's come up,

1659
01:34:46.342 --> 01:34:48.242
and I've got
to run out.

1660
01:34:48.277 --> 01:34:51.110
It's-it's sort of an emergency.
I'll explain later.

1661
01:34:51.147 --> 01:34:54.776
<i>- But, Mary...
- I'm sorry. I've really got to go.</i>

1662
01:34:54.817 --> 01:34:57.149
I promise we'll do this
again sometime.

1663
01:35:08.431 --> 01:35:10.763
Race you to the top.

1664
01:35:12.435 --> 01:35:15.427
- Come here.
- Agh!

1665
01:35:18.241 --> 01:35:21.768
Yeah! Ha ha!

1666
01:35:22.945 --> 01:35:24.469
I won!

1667
01:35:24.513 --> 01:35:27.277
Look familiar?

1668
01:35:27.316 --> 01:35:29.216
I don't believe it.
You really have it.

1669
01:35:29.252 --> 01:35:31.049
Of course, I have it.

1670
01:35:31.087 --> 01:35:33.351
When Lloyd Christmas
drives a woman to the airport,

1671
01:35:33.389 --> 01:35:35.152
he makes sure she gets
all her luggage.

1672
01:35:35.191 --> 01:35:38.217
- That's my whole philosophy.
- This is incredible.

1673
01:35:38.261 --> 01:35:41.025
You mean to say
you drove 2,000 miles

1674
01:35:41.063 --> 01:35:43.497
just for me?

1675
01:35:43.532 --> 01:35:48.595
Uh... I didn't really
have a lot to do.

1676
01:35:50.006 --> 01:35:51.871
And I know how
frustrating it can be

1677
01:35:51.908 --> 01:35:54.001
to lose a bag.

1678
01:35:54.043 --> 01:35:57.206
That is so sweet, Lloyd.

1679
01:35:57.246 --> 01:35:59.510
(kisses)

1680
01:35:59.548 --> 01:36:03.075
<i>(romantic pop music
playing)</i>

1681
01:36:11.594 --> 01:36:14.893
Look, Mary, I know this may
seem a little sudden,

1682
01:36:14.931 --> 01:36:17.024
but I've given it
a lot of thought.

1683
01:36:17.066 --> 01:36:20.194
You're the woman I've been waiting
for my whole life,

1684
01:36:20.236 --> 01:36:21.999
and I'm not ashamed
to admit it.

1685
01:36:22.038 --> 01:36:26.168
Please...
Let me finish.

1686
01:36:26.208 --> 01:36:29.507
I'm crazy about you.

1687
01:36:29.545 --> 01:36:32.412
<i>I've never felt this way
about anybody.</i>

1688
01:36:32.448 --> 01:36:35.178
Listen to me.

1689
01:36:35.217 --> 01:36:38.209
I feel like
a schoolboy again,

1690
01:36:38.254 --> 01:36:41.018
a schoolboy
who desperately wants

1691
01:36:41.057 --> 01:36:43.787
to make sweet
sweet love to you.

1692
01:36:53.202 --> 01:36:56.831
Oh, I thought I heard
you talking to someone.

1693
01:36:59.041 --> 01:37:02.841
Mary, I- I...

1694
01:37:07.950 --> 01:37:11.351
I desperately want to make love
to a schoolboy.

1695
01:37:12.588 --> 01:37:15.421
- Maybe I should be going.
- No no...

1696
01:37:15.458 --> 01:37:17.323
(stutters)

1697
01:37:17.360 --> 01:37:20.329
No, I... that's not
what I meant.

1698
01:37:23.332 --> 01:37:28.235
Um... what I
meant was, um...

1699
01:37:30.373 --> 01:37:32.273
God.

1700
01:37:32.308 --> 01:37:35.300
I-I like you, Mary.

1701
01:37:37.680 --> 01:37:41.309
I like you a lot.

1702
01:37:42.618 --> 01:37:47.248
I want to ask you a question
straight out, flat out,

1703
01:37:47.289 --> 01:37:49.621
and I want you to give me
an honest answer.

1704
01:37:49.658 --> 01:37:52.092
What do you think
the chances are

1705
01:37:52.128 --> 01:37:56.189
of a guy like you
and a girl like me...

1706
01:37:57.633 --> 01:37:59.931
ending up together?

1707
01:37:59.969 --> 01:38:02.301
Well, Lloyd,
that's difficult to say.

1708
01:38:02.338 --> 01:38:05.034
We really don't...

1709
01:38:05.107 --> 01:38:07.667
Hit me with it!
Just give it to me straight!

1710
01:38:07.710 --> 01:38:09.940
I came a long way
just to see you, Mary.

1711
01:38:09.979 --> 01:38:12.504
Just... the least you can do
is level with me.

1712
01:38:12.548 --> 01:38:14.948
What are my chances?

1713
01:38:14.984 --> 01:38:17.509
Not good.

1714
01:38:21.490 --> 01:38:25.984
You mean not good,
like one out of 100?

1715
01:38:26.028 --> 01:38:30.397
I'd say more like
one out of a million.

1716
01:38:35.704 --> 01:38:39.572
So you're telling me
there's a chance!

1717
01:38:41.710 --> 01:38:43.803
Yeah!

1718
01:38:45.414 --> 01:38:47.382
I read you.

1719
01:38:47.416 --> 01:38:49.441
<i>(knocks)</i>

1720
01:38:54.423 --> 01:38:57.392
Hi. We have plenty
of towels. Thanks.

1721
01:38:57.426 --> 01:39:00.259
Nicholas!
What are you doing here?

1722
01:39:00.296 --> 01:39:01.991
I've been looking
for you, Mary.

1723
01:39:02.031 --> 01:39:04.022
I have some news
about your husband.

1724
01:39:05.267 --> 01:39:08.634
Husband?!
Wait a minute!

1725
01:39:10.239 --> 01:39:14.005
What was all that
one-in-a-million talk?

1726
01:39:14.043 --> 01:39:16.841
Aren't you going to
invite me in?

1727
01:39:21.817 --> 01:39:25.514
<i>Beth: Hey, Harry,
you never called!</i>

1728
01:39:25.554 --> 01:39:27.488
What are you doing here?

1729
01:39:31.494 --> 01:39:34.588
Excuse me, gunman,
who are you?

1730
01:39:34.630 --> 01:39:36.655
Don't play dumb
with me, asshole!

1731
01:39:36.699 --> 01:39:39.566
I'm the rightful owner of that briefcase
you've been carrying around!

1732
01:39:39.602 --> 01:39:41.729
Oh. Well, then...

1733
01:39:41.770 --> 01:39:45.797
Nicholas, my family
trusted you.

1734
01:39:45.841 --> 01:39:48.036
Shut up!

1735
01:39:48.077 --> 01:39:52.070
Listen, Mr. Samsonite,
about the briefcase...

1736
01:39:52.114 --> 01:39:54.139
my friend Harry and I
have every intention

1737
01:39:54.183 --> 01:39:56.743
- of fully reimbursing you.
- What?

1738
01:39:56.785 --> 01:40:00.312
You open it up.
Open it up!

1739
01:40:00.356 --> 01:40:03.189
Go ahead, open it up.
Do what he says.

1740
01:40:03.225 --> 01:40:04.988
Hurry.

1741
01:40:09.865 --> 01:40:12.356
What is this?
What is this?

1742
01:40:12.401 --> 01:40:14.096
Where's all the money?

1743
01:40:14.136 --> 01:40:17.071
That's as good
as money, sir.

1744
01:40:17.106 --> 01:40:19.597
Those are IOUs.
Go ahead and add it up.

1745
01:40:19.642 --> 01:40:21.576
Every cent's
accounted for.

1746
01:40:21.610 --> 01:40:24.545
Look. See this?

1747
01:40:24.580 --> 01:40:26.844
That's a car.
275 thou.

1748
01:40:26.882 --> 01:40:29.043
Might want to hang on
to that one.

1749
01:40:32.855 --> 01:40:35.881
You're a dead man.
You're a dead man!

1750
01:40:40.863 --> 01:40:43.798
Lloyd, I'm home!

1751
01:40:43.832 --> 01:40:47.131
Look, we've got to have
a serious talk.

1752
01:40:47.169 --> 01:40:48.693
<i>I got a confession
to make.</i>

1753
01:40:48.737 --> 01:40:50.568
Oh, good.
You found her.

1754
01:40:50.606 --> 01:40:52.164
I'll leave
you two alone.

1755
01:40:52.208 --> 01:40:54.403
No. Stay.

1756
01:40:55.411 --> 01:40:57.379
Ugh!

1757
01:41:00.849 --> 01:41:03.841
Yes, I'd like a one-way ticket
to Amsterdam

1758
01:41:03.886 --> 01:41:06.582
departing as soon
as possible, please.

1759
01:41:06.622 --> 01:41:09.216
How do you guys
know each other?

1760
01:41:09.258 --> 01:41:11.192
We used to be
best friends.

1761
01:41:11.227 --> 01:41:13.195
Yeah, until he turned
into a backstabber.

1762
01:41:13.229 --> 01:41:16.255
<i>Me a backstabber?
You got a lot of nerve.</i>

1763
01:41:16.298 --> 01:41:18.129
You knew I was
crazy about her!

1764
01:41:18.167 --> 01:41:20.465
And you knew I was crazy
about Fraida Felcher,

1765
01:41:20.502 --> 01:41:23.903
- and that didn't stop you, did it?
- (gasps)

1766
01:41:23.939 --> 01:41:26.237
- What do you mean?
- (mimics) What do you mean?

1767
01:41:26.275 --> 01:41:28.175
Don't deny it, Lloyd.

1768
01:41:28.210 --> 01:41:31.475
Fraida told me the whole sleazy story,
Mr. French Tickler.

1769
01:41:34.350 --> 01:41:36.875
Okay, what time does it...
what time does that leave?

1770
01:41:36.919 --> 01:41:38.887
Thank you...
wait a second.

1771
01:41:38.921 --> 01:41:40.855
Can I have
a vegetarian meal?

1772
01:41:40.889 --> 01:41:43.289
I guess we both learned
a little something

1773
01:41:43.325 --> 01:41:45.793
- about each other today, didn't we?
- Yeah, you said it, pal.

1774
01:41:45.828 --> 01:41:47.489
Maybe we're not as good of
friends as we thought we were.

1775
01:41:47.529 --> 01:41:48.461
I guess not.

1776
01:41:48.497 --> 01:41:51.364
I mean, if one beautiful girl
can rip us apart like this,

1777
01:41:51.400 --> 01:41:53.391
then maybe our friendship
isn't worth a damn.

1778
01:41:53.435 --> 01:41:54.868
Maybe we should
call it quits right now.

1779
01:41:54.903 --> 01:41:56.871
You just tell me
where to sign, bud.

1780
01:41:56.905 --> 01:41:58.896
Right on my ass
after you kiss it!

1781
01:41:58.941 --> 01:42:00.533
Kiss it?!
You kiss mine!

1782
01:42:00.576 --> 01:42:02.737
Both cheeks, both lips,
right here!

1783
01:42:02.778 --> 01:42:06.737
- Put it right...
- Shut up!

1784
01:42:08.751 --> 01:42:11.481
Now, which one of you losers
wants to get it first?

1785
01:42:12.955 --> 01:42:15.515
Over here...

1786
01:42:15.557 --> 01:42:17.957
I was the one that got you into
this whole mess.

1787
01:42:17.993 --> 01:42:20.291
Come on
and shoot me.

1788
01:42:20.329 --> 01:42:23.355
No! Wait! Wait.
No no, do me first.

1789
01:42:23.399 --> 01:42:25.492
I stole your girl, Lloyd.
I deserve it.

1790
01:42:25.534 --> 01:42:26.967
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.

1791
01:42:27.002 --> 01:42:29.197
- No, you don't...
- Yes, I do!

1792
01:42:29.238 --> 01:42:31.604
Yesterday was one of the greatest
days of my life.

1793
01:42:31.640 --> 01:42:35.770
Mary and I went skiing, we made
a snowman, she touched my leg.

1794
01:42:35.811 --> 01:42:38.177
Okay, kill him!

1795
01:42:44.653 --> 01:42:47.053
(sobbing)
Oh! Oh, no!

1796
01:42:48.524 --> 01:42:51.789
You killed my best friend,
you bastard!

1797
01:42:51.827 --> 01:42:53.454
If it's any consolation,

1798
01:42:53.495 --> 01:42:55.656
you're about
to be reunited.

1799
01:42:59.802 --> 01:43:01.736
(gun clicking)

1800
01:43:01.770 --> 01:43:05.672
Harry!
You're alive!

1801
01:43:05.708 --> 01:43:08.404
And you're
a horrible shot.

1802
01:43:08.444 --> 01:43:10.503
Lucky me.

1803
01:43:10.546 --> 01:43:13.014
Police! Open up!
Nobody move!

1804
01:43:13.048 --> 01:43:16.415
Everybody freeze!
Get those hands up!

1805
01:43:16.452 --> 01:43:17.942
<i>Not you, dummy!</i>

1806
01:43:17.986 --> 01:43:19.544
<i>Man:
Get the gun.</i>

1807
01:43:19.588 --> 01:43:22.284
Special Officer
Beth Jordan, FBI.

1808
01:43:22.324 --> 01:43:23.882
Hey! Who?
But... huh?

1809
01:43:23.926 --> 01:43:25.860
Mr. Dunne,
thank you very much.

1810
01:43:25.894 --> 01:43:28.863
We couldn't have
done it without you.

1811
01:43:28.897 --> 01:43:30.421
We've been
following you guys

1812
01:43:30.466 --> 01:43:31.797
all the way
from Providence.

1813
01:43:31.834 --> 01:43:33.631
What's going on,
Harry?

1814
01:43:33.669 --> 01:43:36.968
Your name is Harry,
isn't it?

1815
01:43:37.005 --> 01:43:40.532
Yeah, she-she grabbed me down the lobby,
explained what was up.

1816
01:43:40.576 --> 01:43:42.669
Then they slapped
this bulletproof vest on me

1817
01:43:42.711 --> 01:43:44.838
and gave me a gun.

1818
01:43:46.615 --> 01:43:48.981
But what if he shot you
in the face?

1819
01:43:50.052 --> 01:43:52.452
What if he shot me
in the face?

1820
01:43:52.488 --> 01:43:54.786
That's a risk
we were willing to take.

1821
01:43:54.823 --> 01:43:56.688
How come I didn't
get a gun?

1822
01:43:56.725 --> 01:43:58.989
Did you
get a gun?

1823
01:43:59.027 --> 01:44:03.657
<i># We can't play
this game anymore #</i>

1824
01:44:03.699 --> 01:44:08.329
<i># But can we still
be friends? #</i>

1825
01:44:09.972 --> 01:44:14.739
<i># Things just can't
go on like before #</i>

1826
01:44:14.777 --> 01:44:19.441
<i># But can we still
be friends? #</i>

1827
01:44:19.481 --> 01:44:24.942
<i># We had something
to learn #</i>

1828
01:44:24.987 --> 01:44:26.955
<i># Now it's time... #</i>

1829
01:44:26.989 --> 01:44:28.889
You were right,
Lloyd.

1830
01:44:28.924 --> 01:44:30.983
She was definitely
worth the trip.

1831
01:44:31.026 --> 01:44:35.554
Yeah. She's something,
ain't she, Harr?

1832
01:44:35.597 --> 01:44:37.462
I'm glad we were able
to help her out.

1833
01:44:37.499 --> 01:44:43.369
<i># You know
it's all gone #</i>

1834
01:44:43.405 --> 01:44:47.341
<i># Let's admit
we made a mistake... #</i>

1835
01:44:47.376 --> 01:44:49.105
- Honey!
- Easy easy.

1836
01:44:49.144 --> 01:44:51.510
- You're okay.
- Okay, I'm just a little sore.

1837
01:44:51.547 --> 01:44:54.414
I'm sorry.
Oh, sweetie.

1838
01:44:54.450 --> 01:44:56.714
<i>Oh, baby, I missed
your loving.</i>

1839
01:44:56.752 --> 01:44:59.016
Honey, there's someone
I want to introduce you to.

1840
01:44:59.054 --> 01:45:01.488
He's the kindest,
gentlest man I've ever met.

1841
01:45:01.523 --> 01:45:03.354
- Will you meet him?
- Sure.

1842
01:45:03.392 --> 01:45:05.758
He's got a gun!

1843
01:45:08.464 --> 01:45:11.365
<i>Mary:
Lloyd? Lloyd!</i>

1844
01:45:11.400 --> 01:45:13.368
Huh?

1845
01:45:13.402 --> 01:45:16.496
I said this is
my husband Bobby.

1846
01:45:16.538 --> 01:45:19.530
- Oh. Hi, Bobby.
- Hi.

1847
01:45:19.575 --> 01:45:24.069
- I'm so happy for you.
- Thank you.

1848
01:45:24.112 --> 01:45:26.945
Thank you both
very much.

1849
01:45:26.982 --> 01:45:30.577
I owe you both
a debt of gratitude.

1850
01:45:30.619 --> 01:45:32.382
Thank you.

1851
01:45:51.473 --> 01:45:53.941
I can't believe
this, Lloyd.

1852
01:45:53.976 --> 01:45:55.876
First Mary dumps us,

1853
01:45:55.911 --> 01:45:57.845
then the cops take
our nest egg.

1854
01:45:57.880 --> 01:45:59.973
- Then our hog breaks down.
- Yeah!

1855
01:46:00.015 --> 01:46:03.143
When are we ever
gonna catch a break?

1856
01:46:04.953 --> 01:46:07.478
<i># Hallelujah #</i>

1857
01:46:07.523 --> 01:46:09.616
<i># Hallelujah #</i>

1858
01:46:09.658 --> 01:46:11.956
<i># Hallelujah
hallelujah #</i>

1859
01:46:11.994 --> 01:46:14.258
<i># Hallelujah. #</i>

1860
01:46:16.698 --> 01:46:20.634
- Hi, y'all.
- (speaking foreign language)

1861
01:46:20.669 --> 01:46:22.830
Hi, guys! We're going
on a national bikini tour,

1862
01:46:22.871 --> 01:46:24.600
and we're looking for
two oil boys

1863
01:46:24.640 --> 01:46:27.006
who can grease us up
before each competition.

1864
01:46:31.213 --> 01:46:33.738
You are in luck!

1865
01:46:33.782 --> 01:46:37.047
There's a town about
three miles that way.

1866
01:46:37.085 --> 01:46:39.349
I'm sure you'll find
a couple guys there.

1867
01:46:42.090 --> 01:46:44.615
Okay. Thanks.

1868
01:46:44.660 --> 01:46:46.753
Bye!

1869
01:46:53.869 --> 01:46:56.497
Do you realize
what you've done?

1870
01:46:56.538 --> 01:47:00.167
- Hey!
- Lloyd!

1871
01:47:00.208 --> 01:47:02.870
Lloyd!

1872
01:47:10.586 --> 01:47:12.884
You'll have to
excuse my friend.

1873
01:47:12.921 --> 01:47:15.890
He's a little slow.

1874
01:47:15.924 --> 01:47:19.018
<i>The town is
back that way.</i>

1875
01:47:28.670 --> 01:47:30.194
Wow.

1876
01:47:30.238 --> 01:47:32.138
Two lucky guys

1877
01:47:32.174 --> 01:47:34.267
are gonna be driving around
with those girls

1878
01:47:34.309 --> 01:47:36.174
for the next
couple of months.

1879
01:47:36.211 --> 01:47:38.873
Yeah, don't worry.

1880
01:47:38.914 --> 01:47:40.745
We'll catch
our break too.

1881
01:47:40.782 --> 01:47:44.274
- Just gotta keep our eyes open.
- Yeah.

1882
01:47:44.319 --> 01:47:45.752
<i># Now, we've been
friends forever... #</i>

1883
01:47:45.787 --> 01:47:47.185
<i># Now, we've been
friends forever... #</i>

1884
01:47:47.222 --> 01:47:49.918
- You're it.
- You're it.

1885
01:47:49.958 --> 01:47:51.687
You're it.
Quitsies.

1886
01:47:51.727 --> 01:47:53.695
You're it. Anti-quitsies,
double-stamp.

1887
01:47:53.729 --> 01:47:56.254
You're it. Anti-quitsies,
triple-stamp.

1888
01:47:56.298 --> 01:47:58.289
- No erasies, none at all.
- You can't triple-stamp.

1889
01:47:58.333 --> 01:48:00.563
Yes, if you have a double-stamp,
of course you can.

1890
01:48:00.602 --> 01:48:02.160
- You can't triple-stamp!
- # La la la la la... #

1891
01:48:02.204 --> 01:48:04.172
You can't if you
have a double-stamp!

1892
01:48:04.206 --> 01:48:05.969
You can't triple-stamp...
the rule!

1893
01:48:06.008 --> 01:48:09.967
You can't triple-stamp
a double-stamp, Lloyd!

1894
01:48:10.012 --> 01:48:12.845
Lloyd! Lloyd!

1895
01:48:14.082 --> 01:48:17.984
<i># And now we're rolling
down the hill #</i>

1896
01:48:19.888 --> 01:48:22.152
<i># Down the hill. #</i>

1897
01:48:24.960 --> 01:48:28.623
<i># Here you go,
way too fast #</i>

1898
01:48:28.664 --> 01:48:30.996
<i># Don't slow down,
you're gonna crash #</i>

1899
01:48:31.033 --> 01:48:34.127
<i># You should watch,
watch your step #</i>

1900
01:48:34.169 --> 01:48:36.694
<i># Don't look out,
gonna break your neck #</i>

1901
01:48:36.738 --> 01:48:39.866
<i># So shut,
shut your mouth #</i>

1902
01:48:39.908 --> 01:48:42.274
<i># 'Cause I'm not
listenin' anyhow #</i>

1903
01:48:42.310 --> 01:48:45.336
<i># I had enough,
enough of you #</i>

1904
01:48:45.380 --> 01:48:48.076
<i># Enough to last
a lifetime through #</i>

1905
01:48:48.116 --> 01:48:51.108
<i># So what do you
want of me? #</i>

1906
01:48:51.153 --> 01:48:53.951
<i># Got no words
of sympathy #</i>

1907
01:48:53.989 --> 01:48:56.651
<i># And if I go
around with you #</i>

1908
01:48:56.692 --> 01:49:00.628
<i># You know that I'll get
messed up too with you #</i>

1909
01:49:05.400 --> 01:49:09.564
<i># Na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na #</i>

1910
01:49:11.039 --> 01:49:15.772
<i># Na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na #</i>

1911
01:49:15.811 --> 01:49:19.338
<i># Here you go,
way too fast #</i>

1912
01:49:19.381 --> 01:49:21.906
<i># Don't slow down,
you're gonna crash #</i>

1913
01:49:21.950 --> 01:49:24.885
<i># You don't know
what's been going down #</i>

1914
01:49:24.920 --> 01:49:27.388
<i># You've been runnin'
all over town #</i>

1915
01:49:27.422 --> 01:49:30.619
<i># So shut,
shut your mouth #</i>

1916
01:49:30.659 --> 01:49:33.059
<i># 'Cause I'm not
listening anyhow #</i>

1917
01:49:33.095 --> 01:49:36.189
<i># I've had enough,
enough of you #</i>

1918
01:49:36.231 --> 01:49:38.961
<i># Enough to last
a lifetime through #</i>

1919
01:49:39.000 --> 01:49:42.026
<i># So what do you
want of me?</i>

1920
01:49:42.070 --> 01:49:44.800
<i># Got no cure
for misery #</i>

1921
01:49:44.840 --> 01:49:47.400
<i># And if I go
around with you #</i>

1922
01:49:47.442 --> 01:49:50.138
<i># You know that
I'll get messed up too #</i>

1923
01:49:50.178 --> 01:49:52.976
<i># With you #</i>

1924
01:49:53.014 --> 01:49:56.108
<i># With you #</i>

1925
01:49:56.151 --> 01:49:59.416
<i># Na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na #</i>

1926
01:49:59.454 --> 01:50:01.752
<i>- # Slow down #
- # You're gonna crash #</i>

1927
01:50:01.790 --> 01:50:05.123
<i># Na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na #</i>

1928
01:50:05.160 --> 01:50:07.526
<i>- # Slow down #
- # You're gonna crash #</i>

1929
01:50:24.146 --> 01:50:27.138
<i># With you #</i>

1930
01:50:27.182 --> 01:50:29.810
<i># With you #</i>

1931
01:50:29.851 --> 01:50:33.309
<i># Na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na #</i>

1932
01:50:33.355 --> 01:50:35.687
<i>- # Slow down #
- # You're gonna crash #</i>

1933
01:50:35.724 --> 01:50:38.989
<i># Na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na #</i>

1934
01:50:39.027 --> 01:50:41.257
<i>- # Slow down #
- # You're gonna crash #</i>

1935
01:50:41.296 --> 01:50:44.697
<i># Na-na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na #</i>

1936
01:50:44.733 --> 01:50:47.327
<i>- # Slow down #
- # You're gonna crash. #</i>

1937
01:51:10.859 --> 01:51:14.761
<i># Well, if you want,
I'll be by your side #</i>

1938
01:51:14.796 --> 01:51:18.732
<i># And if you don't,
maybe suicide #</i>

1939
01:51:18.767 --> 01:51:22.203
<i># It's my love
that'd kill me, dear #</i>

1940
01:51:22.237 --> 01:51:25.934
<i># If you won't hold me
and have me near #</i>

1941
01:51:25.974 --> 01:51:29.501
<i># Because I'll be good
to you in every way #</i>

1942
01:51:29.544 --> 01:51:33.310
<i># I'll give you lovin',
baby, every day #</i>

1943
01:51:33.348 --> 01:51:36.943
<i># A lovin' that's good,
a lovin' that's all right #</i>

1944
01:51:36.985 --> 01:51:40.079
<i># A lovin' like an oven
on the coldest night #</i>

1945
01:51:40.121 --> 01:51:42.316
<i># Whoo! #</i>

1946
01:51:54.903 --> 01:51:59.203
<i># 'Cause if you don't love me,
I'll kill myself #</i>

1947
01:52:02.277 --> 01:52:06.680
<i># Yeah, if you don't love me,
I'll kill myself #</i>

1948
01:52:09.484 --> 01:52:13.511
<i># If you don't love me,
I'll kill myself #</i>

1949
01:52:16.825 --> 01:52:21.159
<i># If you don't love me,
I'll kill myself. #</i>

1950
01:54:21.160 --> 01:54:23.960
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