1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
3
00:00:55,683 --> 00:00:56,808
Patrick.
4
00:00:56,809 --> 00:00:57,976
Adeline.
5
00:00:57,977 --> 00:01:01,772
This is going to be the best
Valentine's Day ever.
6
00:01:02,481 --> 00:01:03,482
This place...
7
00:01:05,401 --> 00:01:06,819
it's just so gorge.
8
00:01:07,444 --> 00:01:08,820
Of course it is, babe.
9
00:01:08,821 --> 00:01:10,239
- You picked it!
- I picked it!
10
00:01:17,288 --> 00:01:18,289
Oh.
11
00:01:18,497 --> 00:01:20,916
Mmm. Mmm.
12
00:01:22,126 --> 00:01:23,294
Mmm.
13
00:01:24,795 --> 00:01:25,796
Mmm?
14
00:01:29,216 --> 00:01:30,217
What the hell?
15
00:01:34,805 --> 00:01:37,056
I told you
not to put it in my food.
16
00:01:37,057 --> 00:01:40,394
- Oh, shit. I'm sorry. Sorry, I--
- It's fine. Keep going.
17
00:01:45,524 --> 00:01:46,941
Adeline Delilah Garrett.
18
00:01:46,942 --> 00:01:48,568
You're smart.
19
00:01:48,569 --> 00:01:49,777
You're beautiful.
20
00:01:49,778 --> 00:01:52,197
And perhaps
most important of all,
21
00:01:52,198 --> 00:01:53,741
you make me think.
22
00:01:54,867 --> 00:01:58,161
You're my person and I can't
imagine my life without you.
23
00:01:58,162 --> 00:01:59,455
Will you marry me?
24
00:02:00,247 --> 00:02:02,708
Yes. A million times, yes!
25
00:02:23,270 --> 00:02:25,439
Why are you
calling me right now?
26
00:02:26,690 --> 00:02:27,857
I didn't get it.
27
00:02:27,858 --> 00:02:30,026
What the fuck do you mean
you didn't get it?
28
00:02:30,027 --> 00:02:31,319
Yeah, I'm sorry, dude.
29
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,363
There was a couple
of sun flares and like...
30
00:02:33,364 --> 00:02:35,532
Um, could you maybe
do it again? Or...
31
00:02:35,533 --> 00:02:36,866
Why, yes.
32
00:02:36,867 --> 00:02:38,952
Let me re-propose
to my fucking girlfriend
33
00:02:38,953 --> 00:02:40,454
so you can do your job right.
34
00:02:41,705 --> 00:02:44,457
- Technically she's your fiancée.
- Don't get cute with me.
35
00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:47,837
Do it right this time
or I'll fucking end you...
36
00:02:48,796 --> 00:02:50,505
- on Yelp.
- Okay, cool, thanks.
37
00:02:50,506 --> 00:02:53,634
I'll talk to you later.
I'm not even on Yelp, dick.
38
00:02:58,806 --> 00:03:02,350
Uh... Speech, speech, speech.
Lovey, lovey-dovey.
39
00:03:02,351 --> 00:03:03,435
And...
40
00:03:04,812 --> 00:03:05,895
Will you marry me?
41
00:03:05,896 --> 00:03:08,399
Yes. A million times, yes.
42
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,906
Just one second.
43
00:03:19,034 --> 00:03:21,160
Give me that. Hello?
44
00:03:21,161 --> 00:03:22,912
Nico the Photo Guy.
Leave a message.
45
00:03:22,913 --> 00:03:24,874
Are you fucking kidding... me?
46
00:04:02,036 --> 00:04:03,037
No!
47
00:04:33,484 --> 00:04:34,485
Hello?
48
00:04:39,198 --> 00:04:40,699
You listen here, asshole.
49
00:04:44,078 --> 00:04:46,664
I have been planning this day
my whole life...
50
00:04:48,249 --> 00:04:50,042
and you fucking killed him!
51
00:04:51,836 --> 00:04:53,754
You messed with the wrong bride.
52
00:04:55,172 --> 00:04:56,173
You hear me?
53
00:04:57,132 --> 00:04:59,051
You messed with the wrong fu--
54
00:05:25,828 --> 00:05:27,787
Whoa, ma'am, you can't be here.
What are you doing?
55
00:05:27,788 --> 00:05:29,957
- He's trying to kill me!
- Please, just calm down.
56
00:05:32,209 --> 00:05:34,378
Hey, buddy, you wanna tell me
what's going on?
57
00:05:36,547 --> 00:05:38,841
Wait. Stop!
Drop the knife, asshole!
58
00:05:44,513 --> 00:05:47,474
Somebody! Please!
59
00:06:16,337 --> 00:06:17,379
Shoot.
60
00:07:05,845 --> 00:07:07,763
Take that, you motherfucker!
61
00:07:08,973 --> 00:07:09,974
Go away!
62
00:07:11,475 --> 00:07:12,560
You go away!
63
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:16,021
You go away!
64
00:07:16,856 --> 00:07:17,857
You go away!
65
00:07:25,906 --> 00:07:26,907
No.
66
00:07:28,742 --> 00:07:30,619
No, no, no, no, no, no, no...
67
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:33,621
No, no, no, no, no. Please!
68
00:07:33,622 --> 00:07:35,124
Hey! Hey!
69
00:07:37,793 --> 00:07:38,794
No!
70
00:07:46,385 --> 00:07:47,386
No!
71
00:07:50,431 --> 00:07:51,432
No!
72
00:07:52,224 --> 00:07:54,351
No!
73
00:08:49,782 --> 00:08:51,115
It's Valentine's Day
74
00:08:51,116 --> 00:08:53,869
and the nation
is once again on high alert.
75
00:08:55,454 --> 00:08:58,122
{\an8}For the past two years,
a masked maniac
76
00:08:58,123 --> 00:08:59,832
{\an8}known as
the Heart Eyes Killer...
77
00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:03,336
{\an8}...or HEK, as authorities
call him for short,
78
00:09:03,337 --> 00:09:05,713
{\an8}has emerged on a day
meant for romance
79
00:09:05,714 --> 00:09:08,341
{\an8}to target, hunt
and brutally kill couples.
80
00:09:08,342 --> 00:09:10,969
{\an8}HEK seems to target cities
at random.
81
00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:12,345
{\an8}From a blood-soaked rampage
82
00:09:12,346 --> 00:09:13,930
{\an8}in the Boston area
two years ago...
83
00:09:13,931 --> 00:09:16,057
{\an8}...as well as a second
killing spree,
84
00:09:16,058 --> 00:09:19,060
{\an8}which left several dead
in Philadelphia just last year.
85
00:09:19,061 --> 00:09:22,063
{\an8}Even though he's after
couples in love,
86
00:09:22,064 --> 00:09:24,274
{\an8}let me be perfectly
clear about this...
87
00:09:24,275 --> 00:09:28,404
He will kill anyone
who gets in his way.
88
00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:32,031
{\an8}...leaving Americans
once again plagued with anxiety
89
00:09:32,032 --> 00:09:34,117
{\an8}on Cupid's holiday
asking the question...
90
00:09:34,118 --> 00:09:37,204
{\an8}Where will the Heart Eyes Killer
strike next?
91
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,418
{\an8}Do you expect
the Heart Eyes Killer
92
00:09:43,419 --> 00:09:45,503
{\an8}to kill your
Valentine's Day plans?
93
00:09:45,504 --> 00:09:47,797
{\an8}Who the hell
makes Valentine's Day plans?
94
00:09:47,798 --> 00:09:49,507
{\an8}Yeah, this holiday sucks ass, dude.
95
00:09:49,508 --> 00:09:51,050
{\an8}- Literally.
- Fuck Valentine...
96
00:09:51,051 --> 00:09:52,719
{\an8}I ain't even low-key scared.
97
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,180
{\an8}The HEK ain't got nothin' on me.
You know, 'cause I--
98
00:09:55,181 --> 00:09:57,141
{\an8}Shut up, Dylan.
You're afraid of the dark.
99
00:09:59,268 --> 00:10:00,352
{\an8}No, I don't.
100
00:10:03,355 --> 00:10:05,523
- The Heart Eyes Killer--
- So glad I'm single.
101
00:10:05,524 --> 00:10:07,609
- I'm gonna celebrate inside.
- That dude hunts you.
102
00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:10,195
...rubbing your shitty PDA
all up in our face--
103
00:10:10,196 --> 00:10:11,487
He only kills straight people,
I think.
104
00:10:11,488 --> 00:10:14,532
Whether you're with a partner
or looking for love,
105
00:10:14,533 --> 00:10:17,244
stay vigilant
this Valentine's Day.
106
00:10:37,556 --> 00:10:38,557
Shit!
107
00:10:41,727 --> 00:10:43,811
- Nice one, dipshits.
- Got a cappuccino here.
108
00:10:43,812 --> 00:10:45,939
Hope Cupid
shoots you in the dick.
109
00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,815
Caramel soy latte for Monica!
110
00:10:47,816 --> 00:10:49,985
- Oh, that's me.
- Okay, yeah. There.
111
00:10:51,987 --> 00:10:53,404
Why do you look so stressed?
112
00:10:53,405 --> 00:10:55,657
Is it 'cause you're single again
on Valentine's Day?
113
00:10:55,658 --> 00:10:58,576
No, I'm... I'm stressed because
Crystal just called
114
00:10:58,577 --> 00:11:00,662
an all-hands meeting
and the subject of her email
115
00:11:00,663 --> 00:11:02,205
literally says
"Ally's Campaign."
116
00:11:02,206 --> 00:11:03,623
- Hmm. I saw that.
- So, I'm fucked.
117
00:11:03,624 --> 00:11:05,291
Okay, worst-case scenario,
118
00:11:05,292 --> 00:11:08,169
you get fired and you never work
another day in your life.
119
00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:11,130
Worst-case scenario, Crystal
wears my skin as a pantsuit.
120
00:11:11,131 --> 00:11:13,383
Best-case scenario,
you got nice skin though.
121
00:11:13,384 --> 00:11:14,509
Boop.
122
00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:16,010
You know what? Whatever.
123
00:11:16,011 --> 00:11:18,137
If you go down,
I'll go down with you. Okay?
124
00:11:18,138 --> 00:11:19,556
We'll Thelma and Louise
this shit.
125
00:11:19,557 --> 00:11:21,057
Large iced blended Americano
126
00:11:21,058 --> 00:11:23,602
with oat milk,
two honey, one sugar.
127
00:11:25,813 --> 00:11:27,438
Sorry, are you sure
that's yours?
128
00:11:27,439 --> 00:11:30,483
Yes, that is definitely mine.
129
00:11:30,484 --> 00:11:33,361
No one else would order
a large iced blended Americano
130
00:11:33,362 --> 00:11:35,989
with oat milk,
two honey, one sugar.
131
00:11:35,990 --> 00:11:38,492
Sugar. Yeah. Look at that. Wow.
132
00:11:39,368 --> 00:11:40,911
Guess we're coffee mates.
133
00:11:42,288 --> 00:11:44,205
- Nice dad joke.
- Thanks.
134
00:11:44,206 --> 00:11:45,665
I thought I was the only one
in the world
135
00:11:45,666 --> 00:11:47,417
with the most obnoxious
coffee order.
136
00:11:47,418 --> 00:11:49,043
It's a pretty common
order actually.
137
00:11:49,044 --> 00:11:50,462
Can you guys move? We're busy.
138
00:11:51,255 --> 00:11:52,256
Yes.
139
00:11:53,674 --> 00:11:54,675
He's hot!
140
00:11:58,512 --> 00:12:00,889
Hey, can I interest you
in one of these guys?
141
00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:03,349
Oh, no, I'm okay. Thanks.
I carry my own.
142
00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:05,810
- Oh. Metal straw.
- I hate paper straws.
143
00:12:05,811 --> 00:12:08,188
They just turn into mush
in, like, three seconds.
144
00:12:08,189 --> 00:12:10,857
Yeah, no. I totally get
what you're saying.
145
00:12:10,858 --> 00:12:13,067
Let's put all the coffee
in a plastic cup,
146
00:12:13,068 --> 00:12:15,945
but, hey, as long as the straw
is paper, planet saved.
147
00:12:15,946 --> 00:12:17,822
Planet saved.
148
00:12:17,823 --> 00:12:20,783
- Uh, sugar though. Want one?
- Yeah.
149
00:12:20,784 --> 00:12:21,868
A little slow poison
150
00:12:21,869 --> 00:12:22,952
- for the pancreas. Oh.
- Oh.
151
00:12:22,953 --> 00:12:24,537
- Ooh!
- Oh!
152
00:12:24,538 --> 00:12:27,498
- I'm sorry. No, I'm--
- I'm sorry. No, I'm-- Sorry.
153
00:12:27,499 --> 00:12:30,084
- I got it. It's okay.
- No, it's totally--
154
00:12:30,085 --> 00:12:31,628
- Fucking Jesus Murphy!
- Oh, Shit!
155
00:12:31,629 --> 00:12:32,795
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
156
00:12:32,796 --> 00:12:35,048
- Yeah. Am I?
- Oh, my God. You're bleeding!
157
00:12:35,049 --> 00:12:37,509
- Here. Shit. Uh--
- Oh-- Thank you for that.
158
00:12:37,510 --> 00:12:39,969
Bye. Um, I'm gonna go.
I'll see you at work, Mon.
159
00:12:39,970 --> 00:12:41,680
Sorry.
She's getting fired today.
160
00:12:42,556 --> 00:12:45,558
Exactly one year
after a Valentine's Day massacre
161
00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,144
left three couples dead
in Boston
162
00:12:48,145 --> 00:12:50,396
and four couples dead
in Philadelphia,
163
00:12:50,397 --> 00:12:53,359
the Heart Eyes Killer
has come to Seattle.
164
00:12:53,484 --> 00:12:56,236
Four victims have
now been claimed at a winery,
165
00:12:56,237 --> 00:12:58,572
ending one dream engagement
166
00:12:59,657 --> 00:13:00,865
in a nightmare.
167
00:13:00,866 --> 00:13:03,660
{\an8}Chief Hartley, is this the work
of the Heart Eyes Killer?
168
00:13:03,661 --> 00:13:05,370
{\an8}That's not confirmed
at this point,
169
00:13:05,371 --> 00:13:07,413
{\an8}but given the pattern
of targeting couples
170
00:13:07,414 --> 00:13:10,041
{\an8}on Valentine's Day,
we suspect it's the work of HEK.
171
00:13:10,042 --> 00:13:12,126
{\an8}What do you have to say
to all those couples out there
172
00:13:12,127 --> 00:13:14,421
{\an8}planning to celebrate
Valentine's Day?
173
00:13:15,214 --> 00:13:16,215
{\an8}Stay home.
174
00:13:17,883 --> 00:13:18,884
{\an8}Well.
175
00:13:21,512 --> 00:13:22,930
This is quite a pickle.
176
00:13:28,477 --> 00:13:32,438
Why didn't a single one of you
177
00:13:32,439 --> 00:13:35,608
tell me that there is a maniac
178
00:13:35,609 --> 00:13:38,111
running around
slaughtering people
179
00:13:38,112 --> 00:13:41,447
on Valentine's Day
these last couple years?
180
00:13:41,448 --> 00:13:42,866
Tommy?
181
00:13:42,867 --> 00:13:46,870
Not a single one of you.
182
00:13:46,871 --> 00:13:50,123
This campaign
is certainly ill-timed.
183
00:13:50,124 --> 00:13:51,834
Wouldn't you say so, missy?
184
00:13:52,877 --> 00:13:55,254
Uh... Um...
185
00:13:57,047 --> 00:13:58,715
- I mean--
- You know, Crystal,
186
00:13:58,716 --> 00:14:00,550
how you always tell us
187
00:14:00,551 --> 00:14:02,886
that relevance is really
important in our pitches?
188
00:14:02,887 --> 00:14:08,266
Well, I personally believe that
Ally's campaign is very "now."
189
00:14:08,267 --> 00:14:10,185
Monica, thank you so much.
190
00:14:10,186 --> 00:14:12,438
If you could do me a huge favor.
Shut the fuck up.
191
00:14:14,565 --> 00:14:15,566
Tommy?
192
00:14:52,102 --> 00:14:56,272
"Wow. Profiting off the death
of couples to sell rings."
193
00:14:56,273 --> 00:14:57,690
"Speechless."
194
00:14:57,691 --> 00:15:00,068
- "This is disgusting."
- I'll say.
195
00:15:00,069 --> 00:15:01,903
"What did I just watch?"
196
00:15:01,904 --> 00:15:03,238
"Straight-up tacky."
197
00:15:03,239 --> 00:15:07,534
"Someone find out who made this
and dox their ignorant ass."
198
00:15:07,535 --> 00:15:09,744
- I mean, it just... it goes on.
- I'm sure it does.
199
00:15:09,745 --> 00:15:12,081
Ally, I'm worried
about your safety.
200
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:16,376
Gee, thanks, Tommy.
201
00:15:16,377 --> 00:15:19,212
How many people has this
heart-shaped asshole killed?
202
00:15:19,213 --> 00:15:21,548
I think, like, a lot.
203
00:15:21,549 --> 00:15:22,758
A lot?
204
00:15:24,385 --> 00:15:29,180
You built a nationwide campaign
around romance ending in death?
205
00:15:29,181 --> 00:15:30,723
Well, you approved it.
206
00:15:30,724 --> 00:15:32,892
Because I trusted you.
207
00:15:32,893 --> 00:15:34,853
I'm gonna need a new campaign.
208
00:15:34,854 --> 00:15:38,232
- Okay. Um, no problem. I'll--
- Jay, get in here.
209
00:15:39,358 --> 00:15:41,067
Jay? Who's Jay?
210
00:15:41,068 --> 00:15:42,736
Thank you very much.
211
00:15:44,113 --> 00:15:45,321
No way.
212
00:15:45,322 --> 00:15:47,574
That's the guy whose nose you
smashed
213
00:15:47,575 --> 00:15:49,284
- in at the coffee shop.
- Mon, sit down.
214
00:15:49,285 --> 00:15:51,786
Jay Simmonds, everybody.
This is Jay Simmonds.
215
00:15:51,787 --> 00:15:53,329
Who is Jay Simmonds?
Well, I'll tell you.
216
00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:57,125
Jay Simmonds is the former
CCD of BMY New York.
217
00:15:57,126 --> 00:16:01,212
He is the youngest freelancer
to win a Clio Award
218
00:16:01,213 --> 00:16:03,381
for his viral
romantic campaigns.
219
00:16:03,382 --> 00:16:08,094
Everything from fancy cars
to luxury chocolates.
220
00:16:08,095 --> 00:16:10,305
And, he has then earned himself
221
00:16:10,306 --> 00:16:14,058
a nice little moniker
of "Consumer Cupid."
222
00:16:14,059 --> 00:16:15,727
That is Jay Simmonds,
223
00:16:15,728 --> 00:16:16,811
and I'll tell you what.
224
00:16:16,812 --> 00:16:19,439
When I realized how far up
shit's creek
225
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,232
Ally here had paddled us,
226
00:16:21,233 --> 00:16:23,443
I knew I needed
some reinforcements.
227
00:16:23,444 --> 00:16:25,613
And thank Baby Jesus.
228
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,531
Now, he's gotta leave
and push off tomorrow
229
00:16:28,532 --> 00:16:31,534
and skedaddle,
so he's on the clock.
230
00:16:31,535 --> 00:16:33,203
Jay. Everybody, Jay!
231
00:16:33,204 --> 00:16:35,872
Thank you for the lovely
flattery, Crystal.
232
00:16:35,873 --> 00:16:37,499
I appreciate it. Um...
233
00:16:38,876 --> 00:16:40,210
Listen, as I understand it,
234
00:16:40,211 --> 00:16:42,545
we've experienced
some turbulence as of late,
235
00:16:42,546 --> 00:16:46,216
but it's all about how you land
the plane that matters, so...
236
00:16:46,217 --> 00:16:47,843
we will get through this...
237
00:16:49,136 --> 00:16:50,137
together.
238
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:57,727
- What the hell was that?
- I got a match.
239
00:16:57,728 --> 00:16:59,855
Oh, for fuck sakes.
240
00:17:03,275 --> 00:17:06,445
We're gonna get married.
I can feel it.
241
00:17:09,572 --> 00:17:10,908
That's your boyfriend?
242
00:17:11,867 --> 00:17:12,992
Yeah, he will be.
243
00:17:12,993 --> 00:17:15,745
He's an actual firefighter
who loves puppies.
244
00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:21,542
You see?
That's why you're still single.
245
00:17:21,543 --> 00:17:23,044
You know what you need, Shaw?
246
00:17:25,673 --> 00:17:27,007
You need a real man.
247
00:17:28,551 --> 00:17:30,678
One that's willing to make
the first move.
248
00:17:34,098 --> 00:17:37,101
Come on, detectives.
You're gonna love this.
249
00:17:38,435 --> 00:17:39,436
Check it out.
250
00:17:40,855 --> 00:17:42,565
What is that, a wedding band?
251
00:17:43,023 --> 00:17:44,691
Could it be one of the victim's?
252
00:17:44,692 --> 00:17:45,985
Unlikely.
253
00:17:49,446 --> 00:17:52,741
The initials engraved
on the inside... JS.
254
00:17:53,409 --> 00:17:55,536
Doesn't match
either of the deceased.
255
00:18:07,089 --> 00:18:09,465
What kind
of an animal would do this?
256
00:18:09,466 --> 00:18:14,304
Probably some incel virgin troll
living in his mommy's basement.
257
00:18:14,305 --> 00:18:15,598
Assuming it's a man.
258
00:18:16,891 --> 00:18:19,267
What about the girl
who never got asked to prom?
259
00:18:19,268 --> 00:18:20,685
The-- The love-scorned woman
260
00:18:20,686 --> 00:18:23,313
who got cheated on
one too many times
261
00:18:23,314 --> 00:18:25,356
and just snapped.
262
00:18:25,357 --> 00:18:26,609
Oh, fuck.
263
00:18:27,818 --> 00:18:29,986
Oh. Yes. He replied.
264
00:18:29,987 --> 00:18:31,237
The gay fireman?
265
00:18:31,238 --> 00:18:33,156
No, no. This guy works in tech.
266
00:18:33,157 --> 00:18:36,409
- Shaw's got a fetish for betas.
- I don't have a fetish.
267
00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:38,328
Everybody's got a fetish.
268
00:18:38,329 --> 00:18:41,332
Gentlemen, this is more
than just a simple murder.
269
00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:43,584
It's a...
270
00:18:47,087 --> 00:18:48,088
...kink.
271
00:18:48,506 --> 00:18:51,466
That's the understatement
of the fucking year.
272
00:18:51,467 --> 00:18:53,510
How do you know for sure
it's HEK?
273
00:18:53,511 --> 00:18:55,054
Here you go, Detective.
274
00:18:57,806 --> 00:18:59,098
'Cause this is the last thing
275
00:18:59,099 --> 00:19:00,935
the wedding photographer
ever saw.
276
00:19:04,271 --> 00:19:06,481
Heart Eyes
has come to our city, boys.
277
00:19:06,482 --> 00:19:07,899
And they've got
another ten hours
278
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,985
of Valentine's Day left to kill.
279
00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:17,743
Excuse me.
What in hell are you doing?
280
00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:21,788
What do you mean? You just fired
me in front of the whole team.
281
00:19:21,789 --> 00:19:24,541
Fired you? I got six more months
on your contract.
282
00:19:24,542 --> 00:19:28,002
I intend to squeeze every single
last drop out of you.
283
00:19:28,003 --> 00:19:30,171
Okay. Great. So what
am I supposed to do?
284
00:19:30,172 --> 00:19:32,799
Get him coffee
while he lands the plane?
285
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,677
No. You're gonna
turn in a sizzling,
286
00:19:35,678 --> 00:19:38,930
sexy, seductive, blockbuster
287
00:19:38,931 --> 00:19:40,473
Crystal Cane campaign.
288
00:19:40,474 --> 00:19:43,561
And if you don't, I'll kill you.
289
00:19:47,064 --> 00:19:49,023
I'm kidding. I won't.
I'll blacklist you, though.
290
00:19:49,024 --> 00:19:50,483
I won't kill you.
291
00:19:50,484 --> 00:19:51,569
I mean, maybe.
292
00:19:52,319 --> 00:19:53,320
But no.
293
00:19:53,988 --> 00:19:54,989
But would I?
294
00:19:57,658 --> 00:19:59,993
"Whoever made this,
I hope you get
295
00:19:59,994 --> 00:20:02,787
"murdered and canceled.
Not in that order."
296
00:20:02,788 --> 00:20:04,330
"Hashtag do better."
297
00:20:04,331 --> 00:20:06,374
"As someone who may die someday,
298
00:20:06,375 --> 00:20:07,959
"I find this commercial
299
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,962
"to be tone-deaf
and borderline ableist."
300
00:20:10,963 --> 00:20:12,464
Wow, people are fucking dumb.
301
00:20:13,549 --> 00:20:16,467
{\an8}"The only thing deader
than the couples in this ad
302
00:20:16,468 --> 00:20:19,304
"is the brain cell of the person
who created it."
303
00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:22,432
"The level of cringe
in this video is off the charts.
304
00:20:22,433 --> 00:20:23,933
"Hashtag just stop."
305
00:20:23,934 --> 00:20:25,019
Hey, Ally?
306
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:28,981
- Yeah?
- Howdy.
307
00:20:30,441 --> 00:20:31,816
Jay? Wha--
308
00:20:31,817 --> 00:20:34,819
This is the women's bathroom,
dude. You can't be in here.
309
00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:37,740
Technically, it is a unisex
bathroom, but...
310
00:20:38,574 --> 00:20:39,575
can we talk?
311
00:20:42,786 --> 00:20:44,413
- Hi.
- Hi.
312
00:20:44,914 --> 00:20:45,915
I'm...
313
00:20:47,416 --> 00:20:49,209
I am really sorry about earlier.
314
00:20:49,210 --> 00:20:51,461
Oh, no, it's totally fine.
315
00:20:51,462 --> 00:20:53,463
Sorry to stalk and run,
316
00:20:53,464 --> 00:20:55,340
but I'm trying
to make this yoga class
317
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,258
that starts in, like, an hour.
318
00:20:57,259 --> 00:20:59,010
You serious? Yoga?
319
00:20:59,011 --> 00:21:00,095
Mmm-hmm.
320
00:21:00,930 --> 00:21:03,056
Aren't we supposed
to be saving the company?
321
00:21:03,057 --> 00:21:06,518
Yes, and we will.
Just after yoga.
322
00:21:06,519 --> 00:21:09,104
I booked us a table at L'oie.
323
00:21:09,980 --> 00:21:12,357
We get inspired,
talk about the campaign.
324
00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:15,193
You realize that
it's Valentine's Day, right?
325
00:21:15,194 --> 00:21:17,237
Oh, that's right.
326
00:21:17,238 --> 00:21:19,281
You probably got plans,
don't you?
327
00:21:20,908 --> 00:21:22,283
- No.
- Well, great!
328
00:21:22,284 --> 00:21:24,327
It'll be a great place
for some field research.
329
00:21:24,328 --> 00:21:25,745
Romance, flowers, candles--
330
00:21:25,746 --> 00:21:27,539
Do you think that maybe we
could just do this tomorrow?
331
00:21:27,540 --> 00:21:29,290
Uh, see,
I would love to do tomorrow,
332
00:21:29,291 --> 00:21:30,667
I just have to take
the first flight
333
00:21:30,668 --> 00:21:32,961
out in the morning
for my best friend's wedding.
334
00:21:32,962 --> 00:21:35,171
So, how about this?
We'll call it 08:00 sharp,
335
00:21:35,172 --> 00:21:36,798
and I'll see you there.
Yeah? I'm excited.
336
00:21:36,799 --> 00:21:38,926
- No, no, I--
- It's gonna be great!
337
00:21:40,719 --> 00:21:41,803
Oh, thank you so much.
338
00:21:41,804 --> 00:21:45,890
Uh, no, Mon. Let me get this.
You're, like, $100,000 in debt.
339
00:21:45,891 --> 00:21:47,059
Not anymore.
340
00:21:47,768 --> 00:21:50,103
Arthur paid it off.
And I get to keep the card.
341
00:21:50,104 --> 00:21:51,856
- Are you serious?
- Mmm-hmm.
342
00:21:52,648 --> 00:21:55,859
Damn. Someone likes a little
sugar with their daddy.
343
00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:59,028
A-ha. Excuse me, Ally.
I do not have a sugar daddy.
344
00:21:59,029 --> 00:22:00,906
That term is very problematic.
345
00:22:02,324 --> 00:22:03,325
I have a sponsor.
346
00:22:04,118 --> 00:22:07,745
And do you love your sponsor,
or is he just erasing your debt?
347
00:22:07,746 --> 00:22:11,291
Yes, I love him. And I love
that he's erasing my debt.
348
00:22:11,292 --> 00:22:14,419
So, when am I gonna meet this
secret Hugh Hefner?
349
00:22:14,420 --> 00:22:15,753
Shall we all get dinner soon?
350
00:22:15,754 --> 00:22:18,006
What do you say,
like, 4:30? Soup?
351
00:22:18,007 --> 00:22:19,549
Ha-ha. Real clever,
Miss Judgy Judy,
352
00:22:19,550 --> 00:22:21,259
while you're literally stalking
your ex online.
353
00:22:21,260 --> 00:22:23,511
I'm not stalking him.
354
00:22:23,512 --> 00:22:26,431
The algorithm
is stalking me, okay?
355
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:28,975
- It's the algorithm?
- Hey, is Arthur Heart Eyes?
356
00:22:28,976 --> 00:22:31,020
Is that why
I haven't met him yet?
357
00:22:31,770 --> 00:22:33,272
That's not fucking funny.
358
00:22:37,568 --> 00:22:39,027
Of course
Arthur's not Heart Eyes.
359
00:22:39,028 --> 00:22:41,029
That guy has so much arthritis,
he can't run.
360
00:22:41,030 --> 00:22:42,989
- Honestly, I bet it's Crystal.
- Hmm.
361
00:22:42,990 --> 00:22:44,199
You know when she does that,
362
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:45,700
- like, thing...
- Mmm-hmm.
363
00:22:45,701 --> 00:22:47,953
...when her Botox doesn't
sit right and it gets stuck?
364
00:22:50,831 --> 00:22:53,374
{\an8}Breaking news.
Our Channel 7 affiliate
365
00:22:53,375 --> 00:22:56,794
{\an8}is reporting that two more
couples have been found murdered
366
00:22:56,795 --> 00:22:58,296
{\an8}at a downtown spa.
367
00:22:58,297 --> 00:23:00,423
We go live
to the scene in Seattle.
368
00:23:00,424 --> 00:23:01,508
Can't watch this.
369
00:23:01,509 --> 00:23:03,384
Thanks, Mike.
We have confirmed reports...
370
00:23:03,385 --> 00:23:04,511
Ally.
371
00:23:04,512 --> 00:23:07,514
- Ally, hello? Hey, ho.
- Monica!
372
00:23:07,515 --> 00:23:09,140
Oh, my God.
Why are you torturing yourself?
373
00:23:09,141 --> 00:23:10,475
You're the one who ended things.
374
00:23:10,476 --> 00:23:13,311
I know.
He just moved on so fast.
375
00:23:13,312 --> 00:23:14,562
I mean, what even is her job?
376
00:23:14,563 --> 00:23:16,397
Look at her feed.
It's all vacation pics.
377
00:23:16,398 --> 00:23:18,608
And she doesn't even have
rich parents. I checked.
378
00:23:18,609 --> 00:23:19,984
You need to stop
hate-fucking yourself
379
00:23:19,985 --> 00:23:21,319
and get out there
and actually find someone
380
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:22,946
to actually fuck-fuck yourself,
you know?
381
00:23:22,947 --> 00:23:24,280
- No.
- Oh, what about that guy?
382
00:23:24,281 --> 00:23:25,448
He's so cute.
383
00:23:25,449 --> 00:23:27,659
The-- The bathroom boy.
You know? Your little stalker?
384
00:23:27,660 --> 00:23:29,619
You mean the guy
trying to take my job?
385
00:23:29,620 --> 00:23:30,913
Oh, my fuck.
386
00:23:31,914 --> 00:23:34,333
He is so hot,
I could literally throw up.
387
00:23:35,459 --> 00:23:37,044
My basement just flooded.
388
00:23:38,879 --> 00:23:40,172
He's okay.
389
00:23:40,548 --> 00:23:42,882
Wait, what are you
wearing on this date?
390
00:23:42,883 --> 00:23:44,467
It's not a date.
391
00:23:44,468 --> 00:23:47,011
We're working. And what's wrong
with my clothes?
392
00:23:47,012 --> 00:23:50,223
- You look like a before picture.
- Monica! That is so mean!
393
00:23:50,224 --> 00:23:51,474
Okay, this place,
what's the vibe?
394
00:23:51,475 --> 00:23:52,809
Is it, what, fancy?
395
00:23:52,810 --> 00:23:55,479
- Yeah, it's fancy. Why?
- Come on.
396
00:23:56,272 --> 00:23:57,772
Where are we going?
397
00:23:57,773 --> 00:23:59,984
We're gonna go fuck up
a credit card.
398
00:24:12,454 --> 00:24:13,913
- It's gorgeous.
- So much skin.
399
00:24:13,914 --> 00:24:15,039
- Hike it up a little bit.
- It's so much skin.
400
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:16,917
- It can go shorter.
- Monica, no! It's not a date.
401
00:24:34,643 --> 00:24:35,769
No.
402
00:24:45,487 --> 00:24:48,740
Hi. Uh,
reservation for Simmonds.
403
00:24:48,741 --> 00:24:50,492
Of course. AJ?
404
00:24:52,286 --> 00:24:53,287
Arms out, please.
405
00:24:56,707 --> 00:24:59,042
- What gives?
- Heart Eyes.
406
00:24:59,043 --> 00:25:00,377
Can't be too careful.
407
00:25:09,845 --> 00:25:11,639
I'm environmentally conscious.
408
00:25:23,859 --> 00:25:25,693
Sharp, my ass.
409
00:25:25,694 --> 00:25:27,695
You look so
beautiful tonight, darling.
410
00:25:27,696 --> 00:25:30,032
Happy Valentine's.
I really mean that.
411
00:25:32,243 --> 00:25:34,619
Good evening, miss.
Will anyone else be joining you?
412
00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:36,747
Uh, yes. Um, a friend.
413
00:25:37,373 --> 00:25:38,581
A colleague.
414
00:25:38,582 --> 00:25:41,209
It's a-- It's a work dinner.
415
00:25:41,210 --> 00:25:42,961
Well, I'll be back
with the specials
416
00:25:42,962 --> 00:25:44,128
once your date arrives.
417
00:25:44,129 --> 00:25:45,840
Oh, no, no, no.
He's not my date.
418
00:26:06,151 --> 00:26:09,904
I am so sorry that I am late.
I tried to get a car.
419
00:26:09,905 --> 00:26:12,115
And for what it's worth,
I had no idea this place
420
00:26:12,116 --> 00:26:13,909
was gonna be this nice, but...
421
00:26:14,869 --> 00:26:17,204
- You look amazing.
- Thank you.
422
00:26:18,664 --> 00:26:20,248
Welcome to L'oie.
423
00:26:20,249 --> 00:26:21,791
May I offer you a beverage?
424
00:26:21,792 --> 00:26:24,043
- Um, I'm good. Thank you.
- Yeah, please. How about
425
00:26:24,044 --> 00:26:26,337
a bottle of champagne,
maybe two glasses?
426
00:26:26,338 --> 00:26:27,589
Oh, uh, no, no, no. I'm sorry.
427
00:26:27,590 --> 00:26:30,758
- No offense, but we're working.
- None taken.
428
00:26:30,759 --> 00:26:31,969
I'll be right back.
429
00:26:33,345 --> 00:26:34,972
So, where you from?
430
00:26:36,599 --> 00:26:38,016
Uh, Phoenix.
431
00:26:38,017 --> 00:26:39,310
Do you have siblings?
432
00:26:40,060 --> 00:26:41,060
No.
433
00:26:41,061 --> 00:26:43,105
Are your parents still together?
434
00:26:44,231 --> 00:26:45,481
Mmm-hmm.
435
00:26:45,482 --> 00:26:46,774
Well, that's nice.
436
00:26:46,775 --> 00:26:49,110
Yeah, I'd love to grow old
with somebody.
437
00:26:49,111 --> 00:26:50,445
Change their Depends?
438
00:26:50,446 --> 00:26:51,529
You know,
439
00:26:51,530 --> 00:26:54,782
I don't immediately go to poop
when I think about love,
440
00:26:54,783 --> 00:26:57,785
but yeah. I would change
an adult diaper
441
00:26:57,786 --> 00:26:59,705
if it was in the name of love.
442
00:27:07,129 --> 00:27:08,130
Here we are.
443
00:27:08,631 --> 00:27:10,048
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
444
00:27:10,049 --> 00:27:11,383
- Miss?
- Yeah.
445
00:27:12,468 --> 00:27:14,303
Didn't want any, but thank you.
446
00:27:16,263 --> 00:27:17,473
And for you, sir?
447
00:27:19,892 --> 00:27:22,060
- Thank you very much.
- Enjoy.
448
00:27:22,061 --> 00:27:23,145
What do you say?
449
00:27:24,563 --> 00:27:25,564
To love?
450
00:27:29,944 --> 00:27:30,945
Okay.
451
00:27:32,363 --> 00:27:34,864
- Listen, this is all very cute.
- Mmm-hmm.
452
00:27:34,865 --> 00:27:36,616
- And you're smooth.
- Oh, thanks.
453
00:27:36,617 --> 00:27:38,785
But I'm just trying
to salvage whatever's left
454
00:27:38,786 --> 00:27:40,662
of my career here,
so can we skip
455
00:27:40,663 --> 00:27:43,414
whatever this is and get
to cracking this campaign?
456
00:27:43,415 --> 00:27:44,707
- By all means.
- Okay.
457
00:27:44,708 --> 00:27:46,251
I have a couple ideas in here.
458
00:27:46,252 --> 00:27:49,003
Some probably suck,
but I'm sure there's a kernel--
459
00:27:49,004 --> 00:27:50,881
You've had
your heart broken recently.
460
00:27:52,842 --> 00:27:55,385
- I'm sorry, what?
- No, I just like to think
461
00:27:55,386 --> 00:27:58,264
I'm intuitive
with these things and...
462
00:27:59,431 --> 00:28:02,600
Ew. Yeah, no.
I did not get my heart
463
00:28:02,601 --> 00:28:04,185
- broken recently.
- Mmm-hmm.
464
00:28:04,186 --> 00:28:05,645
And it's really
none of your business.
465
00:28:05,646 --> 00:28:07,188
Oh, you're totally right,
it's not.
466
00:28:07,189 --> 00:28:08,857
- Definitely not. Okay.
- Nope.
467
00:28:08,858 --> 00:28:11,443
- Um...
- It's just your campaign.
468
00:28:12,486 --> 00:28:16,156
Doomed lovers? I mean, it hardly
screams romance to me.
469
00:28:17,533 --> 00:28:20,243
The most romantic stories
of all time are doomed.
470
00:28:20,244 --> 00:28:22,704
You got husbands, wives,
471
00:28:22,705 --> 00:28:24,455
partners, twin flames, soulmates.
472
00:28:24,456 --> 00:28:27,333
Whatever you wanna call it,
it's all gonna end.
473
00:28:27,334 --> 00:28:28,835
It's just
a matter of time before
474
00:28:28,836 --> 00:28:30,461
someone cheats, bails, or dies.
475
00:28:30,462 --> 00:28:33,006
What about butterflies
in your stomach?
476
00:28:33,007 --> 00:28:35,550
A lightning bolt to the heart?
477
00:28:35,551 --> 00:28:37,135
Cozy Sundays in bed?
478
00:28:37,136 --> 00:28:39,804
What's next, birth charts
and long walks on the beach?
479
00:28:39,805 --> 00:28:42,056
I like those things,
but I get it. Not for everyone.
480
00:28:42,057 --> 00:28:43,892
You wanna know how I feel
about romance?
481
00:28:43,893 --> 00:28:45,060
Yeah.
482
00:28:47,062 --> 00:28:48,397
It's a farce.
483
00:28:50,191 --> 00:28:51,275
A lie.
484
00:28:52,735 --> 00:28:55,404
Not to everyone, I know that.
Some people get...
485
00:28:56,197 --> 00:29:00,491
really lucky and stumble
into something real and forever.
486
00:29:00,492 --> 00:29:02,118
But the other 99% of us
487
00:29:02,119 --> 00:29:04,996
are just bouncing from one
failed experiment to the next,
488
00:29:04,997 --> 00:29:07,916
chasing the same regurgitated
fairy-tale bullshit
489
00:29:07,917 --> 00:29:10,752
that's been stuffed into our
brains since we were kids.
490
00:29:10,753 --> 00:29:14,005
Prince Charming? Till you
catch him fucking your sister.
491
00:29:14,006 --> 00:29:15,673
I thought you were
an only child.
492
00:29:15,674 --> 00:29:17,342
- It's a metaphor. Jesus.
- Right.
493
00:29:17,343 --> 00:29:19,094
My point is, it's not real.
494
00:29:20,346 --> 00:29:23,431
And somehow, I landed a job
that forces me to propagate
495
00:29:23,432 --> 00:29:25,600
a fantasy in order to sell
blood diamonds
496
00:29:25,601 --> 00:29:27,268
harvested from third-world
slave labor,
497
00:29:27,269 --> 00:29:29,229
so please forgive me
if I'm not swept away
498
00:29:29,230 --> 00:29:32,023
by your magical notions
of romance, Jay.
499
00:29:32,024 --> 00:29:33,108
Wow.
500
00:29:34,401 --> 00:29:35,736
That's really...
501
00:29:36,946 --> 00:29:37,947
What?
502
00:29:39,073 --> 00:29:40,074
...sad.
503
00:29:45,412 --> 00:29:46,539
Why are you single?
504
00:29:47,581 --> 00:29:50,251
- Excuse me?
- No, really, Mr. Romantic...
505
00:29:51,502 --> 00:29:52,752
doe-eyed, first love,
506
00:29:52,753 --> 00:29:55,380
Esther Perel mama's boy
know-it-all. Why are you single?
507
00:29:55,381 --> 00:29:57,465
- Well...
- Are you really looking for love
508
00:29:57,466 --> 00:29:59,717
or are you just another
fake-ass, ho-hunting,
509
00:29:59,718 --> 00:30:01,636
- ankle-cuff prick in a suit?
- Oh, my God.
510
00:30:01,637 --> 00:30:02,762
You know, you don't know me.
511
00:30:02,763 --> 00:30:04,430
And you
don't get to cast judgment
512
00:30:04,431 --> 00:30:06,892
just because I don't think
like you, okay?
513
00:30:12,940 --> 00:30:13,941
Yeah, um...
514
00:30:15,484 --> 00:30:18,445
I think you were right.
Tonight's a bad night.
515
00:30:19,989 --> 00:30:21,906
Should've just
let you clear your head. Um...
516
00:30:21,907 --> 00:30:24,285
Don't worry about the champagne.
It's on Crystal.
517
00:30:34,628 --> 00:30:39,216
Jay! Jay!
I'm sorry, okay? You win.
518
00:30:39,717 --> 00:30:42,218
Listen, I told you it was fine
and I meant it. It's all good.
519
00:30:42,219 --> 00:30:44,387
No, I had
a really rough day and...
520
00:30:44,388 --> 00:30:47,599
and I took it out on you and
that was shitty and wrong and--
521
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,392
Jay, please,
I can't lose this job.
522
00:30:49,393 --> 00:30:51,520
Ally, I am not
gonna take your job.
523
00:30:52,188 --> 00:30:53,646
Although it does seem like
524
00:30:53,647 --> 00:30:55,566
you don't really want
this job, but...
525
00:30:56,775 --> 00:30:59,319
This is me, so...
526
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,821
I'm gonna go back to the hotel,
brainstorm some creative,
527
00:31:01,822 --> 00:31:03,616
see what we can
salvage from-- Oh!
528
00:31:09,413 --> 00:31:10,414
Ally?
529
00:31:13,375 --> 00:31:15,418
Collin! What are you doing here?
530
00:31:15,419 --> 00:31:18,922
Um, well, Sienna and I are on
a little dinner date, actually.
531
00:31:18,923 --> 00:31:21,258
- I've heard so much about you.
- Really?
532
00:31:22,092 --> 00:31:23,093
Why?
533
00:31:24,220 --> 00:31:25,845
And, uh, you are?
534
00:31:25,846 --> 00:31:27,347
Oh, Jay. I'm Ally's...
535
00:31:27,348 --> 00:31:29,015
- He's my friend-- Boyfriend.
- ...Boyfriend.
536
00:31:29,016 --> 00:31:30,142
Friend. Boyfriend.
537
00:31:31,018 --> 00:31:32,727
I didn't know
you had a boyfriend.
538
00:31:32,728 --> 00:31:34,812
- Yeah! Yeah.
- Yeah.
539
00:31:34,813 --> 00:31:36,481
Yeah, I mean, why would you?
540
00:31:36,482 --> 00:31:39,902
It's not like I publicize it
on social media or anything.
541
00:31:42,571 --> 00:31:44,489
Uh, well, it's nice
to meet you, Jay.
542
00:31:44,490 --> 00:31:47,575
Pleasure. So, um, dinner, huh?
543
00:31:47,576 --> 00:31:49,953
Yeah. Uh, it was supposed
to be a double date,
544
00:31:49,954 --> 00:31:52,081
uh, but unfortunately...
545
00:31:52,915 --> 00:31:54,249
- Ooh.
- What does that mean?
546
00:31:54,250 --> 00:31:57,503
You know the couple that got
murdered up at the winery?
547
00:31:58,546 --> 00:32:00,547
- What, you know them?
- We worked together.
548
00:32:00,548 --> 00:32:02,299
- Played racquetball.
- Racquetball.
549
00:32:03,300 --> 00:32:04,300
It's tragic, really.
550
00:32:04,301 --> 00:32:06,803
- Still kept the reservation?
- And you still came to dinner?
551
00:32:06,804 --> 00:32:08,847
Of course. In their honor.
552
00:32:08,848 --> 00:32:10,598
- Wow.
- Huh. Well, a lot to
553
00:32:10,599 --> 00:32:11,808
eat in there and it's good.
554
00:32:11,809 --> 00:32:13,685
We should go.
See you, Ally, and...
555
00:32:13,686 --> 00:32:15,061
You have such a sexy suit.
556
00:32:15,062 --> 00:32:17,063
- Oh, that's a sexy dress.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.
557
00:32:17,064 --> 00:32:19,482
- You guys have a good dinner.
- Happy Valentine's Day!
558
00:32:19,483 --> 00:32:22,528
- Happy V-Day!
- Don't get killed, all right?
559
00:32:23,571 --> 00:32:25,488
- What was--
- Why would he say that?
560
00:32:25,489 --> 00:32:27,448
That was weird.
Oh, you're coming with me.
561
00:32:27,449 --> 00:32:29,243
That was so embarrassing.
562
00:32:45,009 --> 00:32:46,010
Thank you.
563
00:32:49,346 --> 00:32:51,807
Not a-- Not a problem.
564
00:32:59,565 --> 00:33:02,442
So is it the accent?
Is that what it is?
565
00:33:02,443 --> 00:33:04,360
Women love that fucking accent.
566
00:33:04,361 --> 00:33:06,488
God, I can't stand it now.
567
00:33:07,865 --> 00:33:10,743
- Brits are so unemotional.
- Mmm.
568
00:33:11,619 --> 00:33:15,789
Well, that would explain
the dead friends' resy.
569
00:33:16,582 --> 00:33:19,626
Love is a beautiful thing, no?
570
00:33:19,627 --> 00:33:21,836
- Oh, we-- we just work together.
- No, we're not a couple.
571
00:33:21,837 --> 00:33:23,796
- But you just kissed, no?
- Oh, see, no,
572
00:33:23,797 --> 00:33:24,881
that was a performance
573
00:33:24,882 --> 00:33:28,051
to seem maybe more desirable
and perhaps less pathetic
574
00:33:28,052 --> 00:33:31,638
- in front of her ex.
- Oh. You love Spotify?
575
00:33:31,639 --> 00:33:34,766
I have Ultimate Sexies
playlist and--
576
00:33:34,767 --> 00:33:36,226
- I love Spotify.
- Yeah, no,
577
00:33:36,227 --> 00:33:37,519
we're okay. Thank you.
578
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,230
Can we add a stop?
579
00:33:40,689 --> 00:33:42,690
Again, I'm really sorry
about tonight.
580
00:33:42,691 --> 00:33:44,234
I swear I'm not a lunatic.
581
00:33:44,235 --> 00:33:47,279
That's exactly what I think
a lunatic would say.
582
00:33:48,405 --> 00:33:49,406
Okay.
583
00:33:51,825 --> 00:33:53,660
Have fun
at your best friend's wedding.
584
00:33:53,661 --> 00:33:54,745
Thank you.
585
00:34:01,752 --> 00:34:02,753
Okey dokey.
586
00:34:08,551 --> 00:34:09,552
What the...
587
00:34:11,094 --> 00:34:12,095
No!
588
00:34:12,096 --> 00:34:15,641
Next stop,
2640 Westlake Avenue South, sir?
589
00:34:17,393 --> 00:34:20,687
Hey, can you hold off a second?
I think she locked herself out.
590
00:34:20,688 --> 00:34:22,772
You know what you should do?
591
00:34:22,773 --> 00:34:25,149
You should go to her,
592
00:34:25,150 --> 00:34:28,237
tell her you love her,
then never let her go.
593
00:34:31,657 --> 00:34:35,119
Right. Right. Yeah, you just
keep that meter running.
594
00:34:37,079 --> 00:34:39,748
Howdy. Everything okay?
595
00:34:40,416 --> 00:34:41,417
No.
596
00:34:42,293 --> 00:34:44,836
No, I think I left my keys
in a dressing room somewhere.
597
00:34:44,837 --> 00:34:45,920
Oh.
598
00:34:46,505 --> 00:34:48,756
Oh, my God. This night
could not get any worse.
599
00:34:48,757 --> 00:34:50,009
You have a spare hidden?
600
00:34:50,676 --> 00:34:53,888
Yeah, under a mat upstairs.
601
00:34:55,139 --> 00:34:57,098
It's okay.
I'll just break the window.
602
00:34:57,099 --> 00:34:59,767
No. What are you talking about,
breaking windows? No.
603
00:34:59,768 --> 00:35:01,227
No, it's fine.
My landlord loves me.
604
00:35:01,228 --> 00:35:02,437
Well, if you're serious,
605
00:35:02,438 --> 00:35:03,771
maybe you just, you know,
let me do it.
606
00:35:03,772 --> 00:35:05,690
- I can break a window.
- No, I know you can
607
00:35:05,691 --> 00:35:07,817
break a window, but if you
cut yourself, I'll be--
608
00:35:07,818 --> 00:35:09,445
I'm not gonna cut myself.
609
00:35:10,613 --> 00:35:11,822
Knock yourself out.
610
00:35:12,489 --> 00:35:15,325
Just know I don't condone this.
I'm worried for your safety.
611
00:35:15,326 --> 00:35:17,827
And you're punching with your
thumb inside your hand,
612
00:35:17,828 --> 00:35:18,953
which is not a good thing.
613
00:35:18,954 --> 00:35:20,038
Okay. Yeah. You're gonna do it.
614
00:35:20,039 --> 00:35:22,583
Yeah. Why don't you hold that?
Came prepared.
615
00:35:24,793 --> 00:35:26,336
Ah, not so bad.
616
00:35:26,337 --> 00:35:27,421
That's bad.
617
00:35:28,339 --> 00:35:30,757
I'm so sorry.
This is all my fault.
618
00:35:30,758 --> 00:35:32,842
I'm sorry I'm bleeding
all over your floor.
619
00:35:32,843 --> 00:35:36,305
Here. Okay.
Let's run it under some water.
620
00:35:38,224 --> 00:35:40,308
- Thanks.
- Okay, you're just gonna wash up
621
00:35:40,309 --> 00:35:41,477
in here for a sec.
622
00:35:42,311 --> 00:35:43,603
Oh, God.
623
00:35:43,604 --> 00:35:46,356
Sorry it's so messy.
624
00:35:46,357 --> 00:35:47,524
I had a house cleaner,
625
00:35:47,525 --> 00:35:50,610
but she won the lottery
last week and fired me.
626
00:35:50,611 --> 00:35:53,363
Really? How much did she win?
627
00:35:53,364 --> 00:35:55,740
Like, a million dollars.
628
00:35:55,741 --> 00:36:00,996
Damn. Well, I hope you find
a replacement soon.
629
00:36:06,335 --> 00:36:07,545
Cute.
630
00:36:08,712 --> 00:36:11,047
I was Pikachu for Halloween too.
631
00:36:11,048 --> 00:36:14,009
- Yeah. That wasn't Halloween.
- What was it?
632
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:17,053
It was Tuesday.
Yeah, I was pretty obsessed.
633
00:36:17,054 --> 00:36:18,556
Wore that shit everywhere.
634
00:36:20,391 --> 00:36:22,392
- I'll take that.
- It was on your shelf.
635
00:36:22,393 --> 00:36:23,893
No, I really wasn't
expecting company.
636
00:36:23,894 --> 00:36:25,144
Ever?
637
00:36:25,145 --> 00:36:26,729
Why don't you just take a seat
638
00:36:26,730 --> 00:36:28,566
while I look for
the first aid kit?
639
00:36:34,947 --> 00:36:35,948
Found it!
640
00:36:40,536 --> 00:36:41,537
Jay?
641
00:36:48,669 --> 00:36:49,670
Excuse you.
642
00:36:50,004 --> 00:36:52,673
I'm sorry. I didn't wanna sit
on your nice clothes.
643
00:36:55,217 --> 00:36:56,218
Ow.
644
00:36:57,761 --> 00:36:58,762
Would you relax?
645
00:36:59,471 --> 00:37:01,432
It's just
a very expensive jacket.
646
00:37:02,975 --> 00:37:04,435
Let's see your hand.
647
00:37:06,854 --> 00:37:08,689
- Ooh.
- Careful now.
648
00:37:09,565 --> 00:37:10,566
Does it hurt?
649
00:37:11,817 --> 00:37:14,236
No, actually.
You're really good at this.
650
00:37:14,820 --> 00:37:16,404
Did you go to med school
or something?
651
00:37:16,405 --> 00:37:19,575
I dropped out actually.
652
00:37:20,951 --> 00:37:22,202
I really can't do blood.
653
00:37:22,203 --> 00:37:23,786
- No way.
- Mmm, way.
654
00:37:23,787 --> 00:37:25,121
Hmm.
655
00:37:25,122 --> 00:37:27,957
Well, I think you're doing
a pretty good job right now,
656
00:37:27,958 --> 00:37:29,460
if I do say so myself.
657
00:37:30,503 --> 00:37:31,544
- Uh--
- Oh.
658
00:37:31,545 --> 00:37:33,546
This is why we dropped out
of med school
659
00:37:33,547 --> 00:37:35,382
and pivoted to advertising.
660
00:37:37,218 --> 00:37:38,219
You're funny.
661
00:37:38,802 --> 00:37:40,721
- Am I?
- I think so, yeah.
662
00:37:45,309 --> 00:37:47,644
Would you mind?
My hair, falling in my face.
663
00:37:47,645 --> 00:37:48,979
- Oh, of course.
- Thank you.
664
00:37:56,570 --> 00:37:58,781
- Okay. There we go.
- Oh, wow.
665
00:38:03,869 --> 00:38:05,787
So, you mind my asking
666
00:38:05,788 --> 00:38:08,499
what kind of medicine
you were planning on going into?
667
00:38:09,291 --> 00:38:11,209
Uh, nephrology.
668
00:38:11,210 --> 00:38:12,836
That's the liver.
669
00:38:12,837 --> 00:38:13,920
Kidneys.
670
00:38:13,921 --> 00:38:15,296
- Nailed it. Damn.
- Yeah.
671
00:38:15,297 --> 00:38:16,798
Well, why that?
672
00:38:16,799 --> 00:38:19,092
I had a family member
that was pretty sick.
673
00:38:19,093 --> 00:38:20,301
Mmm-hmm.
674
00:38:20,302 --> 00:38:23,931
Guess I-- I don't know,
thought I could fix people.
675
00:38:25,975 --> 00:38:28,393
Anyway, now
I'm considered hemophobic.
676
00:38:28,394 --> 00:38:29,478
Oh.
677
00:38:30,062 --> 00:38:33,273
- I didn't take you for a bigot.
- Okay, wow.
678
00:38:33,274 --> 00:38:36,944
Between that and coffee mates,
your dad jokes are top-notch.
679
00:38:38,487 --> 00:38:41,990
I'm being facetious obviously.
Your jokes are cheesy as--
680
00:38:41,991 --> 00:38:43,075
Fuck!
681
00:38:43,868 --> 00:38:45,368
Ally! Ally!
682
00:38:45,369 --> 00:38:46,453
Oh, shit!
683
00:38:57,131 --> 00:38:59,383
Fuck you!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
684
00:39:00,843 --> 00:39:01,844
Run!
685
00:39:05,222 --> 00:39:07,599
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
What are you doing?
686
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,309
Get your mind out of the gutter!
687
00:39:09,310 --> 00:39:10,435
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
688
00:39:10,436 --> 00:39:12,229
Come on. Come on, come on.
Come on, come on!
689
00:39:13,564 --> 00:39:15,149
Come on, come on, come on!
690
00:39:15,941 --> 00:39:17,401
- You got it?
- Yes!
691
00:39:20,196 --> 00:39:21,197
Good job.
692
00:39:22,531 --> 00:39:23,532
Thanks.
693
00:39:25,075 --> 00:39:26,869
Hey, you good?
694
00:39:27,328 --> 00:39:28,329
Yeah.
695
00:39:31,373 --> 00:39:34,001
- Help! He's trying to kill us!
- Oh, here's lovebirds.
696
00:39:36,545 --> 00:39:38,129
No! No, no, no.
You've got the wrong people.
697
00:39:38,130 --> 00:39:39,881
- Hey! What are you doing?
- He only kills couples, right?
698
00:39:39,882 --> 00:39:41,674
We're not a couple.
We barely know each other.
699
00:39:41,675 --> 00:39:43,886
So back the fuck off!
700
00:39:44,553 --> 00:39:46,055
911, what's your emergency?
701
00:39:47,181 --> 00:39:48,182
Run!
702
00:39:50,893 --> 00:39:53,270
Help! Help!
703
00:39:54,188 --> 00:39:55,189
Help us!
704
00:40:02,655 --> 00:40:04,322
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
705
00:40:04,323 --> 00:40:05,407
What?
706
00:40:07,493 --> 00:40:08,577
Did you hear that?
707
00:40:10,538 --> 00:40:11,622
I don't hear anything.
708
00:40:12,540 --> 00:40:13,541
Oh, shit!
709
00:40:14,458 --> 00:40:15,459
Ally!
710
00:40:16,418 --> 00:40:18,044
Get off of her!
711
00:40:18,045 --> 00:40:19,839
Hey, hey!
712
00:42:54,910 --> 00:42:57,997
No! No! No!
713
00:42:59,999 --> 00:43:01,792
Help! He's right behind...
714
00:43:04,170 --> 00:43:05,462
- Here!
- ...me.
715
00:43:07,798 --> 00:43:10,134
He was-- He was right here.
716
00:43:10,926 --> 00:43:12,219
I'll go check it out.
717
00:43:14,180 --> 00:43:15,181
Oh, my God. Jay.
718
00:43:16,140 --> 00:43:18,016
- Jay, is he okay?
- I don't know who
719
00:43:18,017 --> 00:43:19,559
- you're talking about.
- Jay Simmonds.
720
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:20,935
We-- We were with each other
all night
721
00:43:20,936 --> 00:43:23,938
and-- and we got attacked
and we got separated back there.
722
00:43:23,939 --> 00:43:26,149
- You just left him?
- No, I didn't leave him!
723
00:43:26,150 --> 00:43:28,693
All units.
All units, stand down.
724
00:43:28,694 --> 00:43:30,528
We have Heart Eyes.
725
00:43:30,529 --> 00:43:32,906
- I repeat, we have Heart Eyes.
- Yes! We got that motherfucker!
726
00:43:32,907 --> 00:43:34,574
Seattle PD, baby! Fuck, yeah!
727
00:43:34,575 --> 00:43:36,409
On behalf of Seattle PD,
I just wanna say--
728
00:43:36,410 --> 00:43:38,036
Yeah, congratulations.
729
00:43:38,037 --> 00:43:39,997
Incredible teamwork, huh?
730
00:43:43,626 --> 00:43:45,836
Hey! Hey, you need to back up!
731
00:43:47,338 --> 00:43:49,172
- Fucking weirdos.
- What did I do?
732
00:43:49,173 --> 00:43:50,257
Detectives.
733
00:43:52,259 --> 00:43:53,344
Here she is.
734
00:43:54,345 --> 00:43:55,595
Detective Zeke Hobbs.
735
00:43:55,596 --> 00:43:57,890
This is my partner,
Detective Jeanine Shaw.
736
00:44:00,392 --> 00:44:01,393
Hobbs and Shaw?
737
00:44:03,145 --> 00:44:04,396
Like the movie?
738
00:44:07,233 --> 00:44:09,067
- I haven't heard of it.
- I haven't seen it.
739
00:44:09,068 --> 00:44:11,654
- We're here to ID a murderer.
- Oh, my God. Jay?
740
00:44:12,780 --> 00:44:13,781
Jay!
741
00:44:14,949 --> 00:44:17,076
- Jay, are you okay?
- Mmm-mmm.
742
00:44:18,452 --> 00:44:19,453
- Jay!
- Nope.
743
00:44:20,579 --> 00:44:22,205
Jay, are you okay?
744
00:44:22,206 --> 00:44:25,500
Uh, no, Ally, I'm not okay.
745
00:44:25,501 --> 00:44:28,170
Thank you for asking.
You ditched me.
746
00:44:28,921 --> 00:44:31,047
What? I did not ditch you!
747
00:44:31,048 --> 00:44:34,092
Oh, yes, you did! You absolutely
ditched me. We were a team.
748
00:44:34,093 --> 00:44:37,720
I was being chased
by a fucking serial killer!
749
00:44:37,721 --> 00:44:41,975
I know! I also was
being chased by a serial killer.
750
00:44:41,976 --> 00:44:44,894
- What the fuck does that mean?
- Jay, you're tall and ripped
751
00:44:44,895 --> 00:44:47,313
and-- and perfectly capable
of defending yourself.
752
00:44:47,314 --> 00:44:49,899
Ally, I really appreciate
the compliments,
753
00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:51,317
especially coming from you,
754
00:44:51,318 --> 00:44:53,319
but right now
is not the time, okay?
755
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:55,405
These muscles were not made
for violence!
756
00:44:55,406 --> 00:44:56,656
They're for cuddling!
757
00:44:56,657 --> 00:44:58,241
- Okay.
- Hey, we're talking here!
758
00:44:58,242 --> 00:45:00,451
Guys, this was not him.
We were together all night.
759
00:45:00,452 --> 00:45:02,120
Heart Eyes was after both of us.
760
00:45:02,121 --> 00:45:05,499
Ma'am... We found this man
in the park wearing this
761
00:45:06,792 --> 00:45:08,376
and in possession of this.
762
00:45:08,377 --> 00:45:09,627
Come on!
763
00:45:09,628 --> 00:45:11,921
No, that's--
That's not possible.
764
00:45:11,922 --> 00:45:13,174
Jay didn't do this.
765
00:45:14,008 --> 00:45:15,009
Maybe.
766
00:45:16,427 --> 00:45:18,012
Maybe Jay wasn't acting alone.
767
00:45:19,054 --> 00:45:20,138
- What?
- What?
768
00:45:20,139 --> 00:45:21,681
We're gonna have to take your
769
00:45:21,682 --> 00:45:23,726
tall, ripped friend in
for questioning.
770
00:45:26,270 --> 00:45:27,271
Oh!
771
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:31,525
Hey, good going. Really great.
772
00:45:34,069 --> 00:45:35,696
See you at the station, I guess.
773
00:45:38,407 --> 00:45:40,367
Fuck.
774
00:45:43,412 --> 00:45:44,413
What is this?
775
00:45:45,164 --> 00:45:46,165
That's a ring.
776
00:45:47,958 --> 00:45:50,251
- Read it.
- Read what?
777
00:45:50,252 --> 00:45:52,504
Let me help you out.
Let me help you out.
778
00:45:52,505 --> 00:45:53,589
It says, "JS."
779
00:45:56,091 --> 00:45:58,510
- As in "Jay Simmonds."
- "Jay Simmonds."
780
00:45:58,511 --> 00:46:00,553
You are really good.
781
00:46:00,554 --> 00:46:02,388
You're really good
at detective work.
782
00:46:02,389 --> 00:46:04,099
That was really--
It's impressive.
783
00:46:09,104 --> 00:46:10,105
That sarcasm?
784
00:46:11,565 --> 00:46:14,734
A, I am not married.
785
00:46:14,735 --> 00:46:18,988
B, why would I leave a wedding
band at the scene of the crime?
786
00:46:18,989 --> 00:46:20,198
And C,
787
00:46:20,199 --> 00:46:22,534
who gets their own initials
788
00:46:22,535 --> 00:46:24,786
engraved in their
own fucking wedding band?
789
00:46:24,787 --> 00:46:26,037
Also, D,
790
00:46:26,038 --> 00:46:27,957
yes, that was sarcasm.
791
00:46:28,624 --> 00:46:30,708
- Hey, hey, hey! Hobbs.
- Hey, relax. Relax!
792
00:46:30,709 --> 00:46:32,419
Take five. Go. Go.
793
00:46:33,671 --> 00:46:34,672
Cool down.
794
00:46:35,297 --> 00:46:37,508
Come on.
795
00:46:44,723 --> 00:46:47,308
I'm sorry. He can get
a little hot under the collar.
796
00:46:47,309 --> 00:46:49,060
Yeah. No kidding.
797
00:46:49,061 --> 00:46:51,145
Do you need anything?
Water, coffee?
798
00:46:51,146 --> 00:46:54,608
- I am fine, thank you very much.
- Okay.
799
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:00,281
Just you and me.
800
00:47:06,704 --> 00:47:08,664
I want you to look me
in the eyes
801
00:47:09,832 --> 00:47:11,166
and tell me the truth.
802
00:47:14,795 --> 00:47:15,796
All right.
803
00:47:16,630 --> 00:47:18,090
How long have you known Ally?
804
00:47:18,799 --> 00:47:19,800
Fourteen hours.
805
00:47:21,886 --> 00:47:23,262
You seem to care about her.
806
00:47:26,390 --> 00:47:28,309
Yeah. Maybe I do.
807
00:47:32,146 --> 00:47:34,856
But that ring. That's...
It's not yours, correct?
808
00:47:34,857 --> 00:47:37,484
No. Again, I am not married.
809
00:47:38,152 --> 00:47:39,152
You're not married.
810
00:47:39,153 --> 00:47:40,862
I mean, it's not, like,
by choice or anything.
811
00:47:40,863 --> 00:47:43,364
I--I just haven't met
the right person.
812
00:47:43,365 --> 00:47:44,533
You're telling me.
813
00:47:45,659 --> 00:47:48,037
- You're--
- Single. Shocker.
814
00:47:50,122 --> 00:47:51,123
Kind of.
815
00:47:52,041 --> 00:47:53,709
No-- You really, um...
816
00:47:58,088 --> 00:47:59,215
Okay, um...
817
00:48:00,966 --> 00:48:03,259
Lady, I have been waiting here
for over an hour.
818
00:48:03,260 --> 00:48:05,553
First of all, it's "officer."
819
00:48:05,554 --> 00:48:07,263
Second, I already told you
820
00:48:07,264 --> 00:48:08,973
they're interrogating
the suspect.
821
00:48:08,974 --> 00:48:11,476
And I already told you they're
interrogating the wrong guy.
822
00:48:11,477 --> 00:48:13,311
Can you please
just go back there
823
00:48:13,312 --> 00:48:15,188
and give me some sort
of information?
824
00:48:15,189 --> 00:48:17,482
Sorry, Fran. The ethernet cable
was all frayed.
825
00:48:17,483 --> 00:48:19,818
- Should be working now.
- Thanks, David.
826
00:48:20,069 --> 00:48:24,531
What's a five-letter word
for a dog ending in H?
827
00:48:24,532 --> 00:48:25,616
Bitch?
828
00:48:26,325 --> 00:48:27,326
Excuse me?
829
00:48:28,077 --> 00:48:29,078
Female dog.
830
00:48:31,830 --> 00:48:34,333
Oh, yeah. Thanks.
831
00:48:34,959 --> 00:48:37,837
Can you please go back there now
and give me some sort of update?
832
00:48:40,381 --> 00:48:41,924
- Fine.
- Thank you.
833
00:48:42,383 --> 00:48:44,844
Hey. Do we know each other?
834
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:47,596
No, I don't think so.
835
00:48:48,472 --> 00:48:49,473
Bumble.
836
00:48:49,974 --> 00:48:52,476
Yeah, no. I'm...
I'm not on the apps.
837
00:48:52,643 --> 00:48:54,853
Oh. It's a waste of time anyway.
838
00:48:54,854 --> 00:48:55,980
Hmm.
839
00:48:57,940 --> 00:48:59,274
Just shooting my shot here.
840
00:48:59,275 --> 00:49:02,026
Um, could I take you out
to coffee some time?
841
00:49:02,027 --> 00:49:03,195
I'll pay for it.
842
00:49:04,321 --> 00:49:06,448
I almost got murdered tonight.
843
00:49:08,284 --> 00:49:09,952
- I am so sorry. Um...
- Yeah.
844
00:49:10,828 --> 00:49:12,829
Stay safe. Have a good night.
845
00:49:12,830 --> 00:49:13,956
Thank you.
846
00:49:15,374 --> 00:49:17,042
Where the hell is everybody?
847
00:49:17,710 --> 00:49:18,711
Celebrating.
848
00:49:20,754 --> 00:49:22,131
They caught Heart Eyes.
849
00:49:33,934 --> 00:49:35,561
So, what else
do you want to tell me?
850
00:49:36,395 --> 00:49:37,813
I'm not a serial killer.
851
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:40,816
So there's that.
852
00:49:40,941 --> 00:49:44,569
Were you in Boston
in February of '23
853
00:49:44,570 --> 00:49:46,739
and Philadelphia
in February of '24?
854
00:49:48,407 --> 00:49:49,407
I...
855
00:49:49,408 --> 00:49:52,202
Let me rephrase.
You were in Boston and Philly.
856
00:49:52,203 --> 00:49:53,703
Same dates and locations
857
00:49:53,704 --> 00:49:55,789
as HEK's
two prior killing sprees.
858
00:49:57,541 --> 00:49:58,876
Jay, I got to admit...
859
00:49:59,627 --> 00:50:01,295
that doesn't look very good.
860
00:50:02,296 --> 00:50:04,047
I-- I don't know
what you want me to say.
861
00:50:04,048 --> 00:50:07,927
I'm a freelancer, so yeah,
I travel for, like, work.
862
00:50:09,512 --> 00:50:11,847
Do you ever get lonely
on the road?
863
00:50:13,474 --> 00:50:16,726
I like to think
that I can keep myself busy.
864
00:50:16,727 --> 00:50:18,479
Yeah? How?
865
00:50:19,522 --> 00:50:20,772
How do you blow off steam
866
00:50:20,773 --> 00:50:22,900
when you're alone
with your thoughts, Jay?
867
00:50:25,653 --> 00:50:27,071
Do you go to a vineyard?
868
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:29,406
Maybe a spa?
869
00:50:39,625 --> 00:50:40,626
Holy... Who--
870
00:50:43,379 --> 00:50:45,630
So, for HEK
to come out of the blue
871
00:50:45,631 --> 00:50:49,050
and denounce Valentine's Day
and all it stands for...
872
00:50:49,051 --> 00:50:50,135
Hello?
873
00:50:50,261 --> 00:50:52,136
...by cutting these couples
down to size.
874
00:50:52,137 --> 00:50:54,598
In my professional opinion,
what we have here...
875
00:50:55,683 --> 00:50:56,684
Detective.
876
00:50:57,226 --> 00:50:58,768
We got an HWW out front.
877
00:50:58,769 --> 00:50:59,978
What do you want me to do
with her?
878
00:50:59,979 --> 00:51:01,229
An HWW?
879
00:51:01,230 --> 00:51:02,897
"Hysterical white woman."
880
00:51:02,898 --> 00:51:04,066
I'll handle her.
881
00:51:05,568 --> 00:51:06,569
You sit tight.
882
00:51:07,862 --> 00:51:08,988
We're not done yet.
883
00:51:11,073 --> 00:51:12,074
I'll be here.
884
00:51:12,992 --> 00:51:15,243
He just snapped.
885
00:51:15,244 --> 00:51:19,706
And he makes it a point to kill
again and again
886
00:51:19,707 --> 00:51:22,208
until the very concept
of an entire day
887
00:51:22,209 --> 00:51:26,964
dedicated to couples and romance
is eradicated.
888
00:51:27,798 --> 00:51:32,720
He sneaks into your house
and waits in the dark.
889
00:51:33,512 --> 00:51:37,516
Cunning and quiet as a corpse.
890
00:51:38,851 --> 00:51:42,104
And then,
when you least expect it...
891
00:51:43,856 --> 00:51:48,943
he pulls out
one of the many, many, many toys
892
00:51:48,944 --> 00:51:50,988
from his tools.
893
00:52:08,756 --> 00:52:10,840
- What the hell are you doing?
- God...
894
00:52:10,841 --> 00:52:12,551
bless the USA.
895
00:52:13,010 --> 00:52:14,093
- Told ya.
- Yeah.
896
00:52:14,094 --> 00:52:15,179
I'm so sorry.
897
00:52:16,388 --> 00:52:18,431
- Are you letting him go?
- Not yet.
898
00:52:18,432 --> 00:52:20,558
Why the hell not? He's innocent!
899
00:52:20,559 --> 00:52:22,685
Mmm-hmm.
Well, then tell me something.
900
00:52:22,686 --> 00:52:24,646
Why is the Heart Eyes Killer
after him?
901
00:52:24,647 --> 00:52:26,732
- You're not a couple.
- I don't know.
902
00:52:27,441 --> 00:52:30,860
I assume he saw us
and thought we were together.
903
00:52:30,861 --> 00:52:31,946
Why?
904
00:52:33,739 --> 00:52:34,740
We...
905
00:52:36,784 --> 00:52:37,826
kissed.
906
00:52:41,288 --> 00:52:43,874
We had-- We had-- We had--
We had to kiss.
907
00:52:45,125 --> 00:52:47,962
We had to kiss because...
because my ex...
908
00:52:48,921 --> 00:52:51,465
he was there, and I was jealous.
909
00:52:52,633 --> 00:52:54,634
- It's really stupid, I know.
- Okay.
910
00:52:54,635 --> 00:52:55,719
I get it.
911
00:52:56,846 --> 00:52:57,847
I do.
912
00:53:01,767 --> 00:53:04,937
So you're not interested
in him romantically?
913
00:53:06,230 --> 00:53:07,606
Why is that relevant?
914
00:53:08,524 --> 00:53:09,650
Just girl talk.
915
00:53:10,192 --> 00:53:11,986
I mean, he's cute, he has a...
916
00:53:12,695 --> 00:53:14,613
really good job.
917
00:53:16,282 --> 00:53:18,742
Perfect candidate
for a little girl like yourself.
918
00:53:20,911 --> 00:53:22,663
A little girl like myself?
919
00:53:26,292 --> 00:53:27,459
Ay.
920
00:53:28,544 --> 00:53:31,129
Oh, relax.
Probably just the breaker.
921
00:53:31,130 --> 00:53:33,966
That's what people say before
they get stabbed to death.
922
00:53:35,593 --> 00:53:36,719
How would you know?
923
00:53:38,888 --> 00:53:39,889
Watch her.
924
00:53:42,349 --> 00:53:43,892
No, no, no, no, no.
She said to watch me.
925
00:53:43,893 --> 00:53:46,561
Calm down, I'm just getting
a flashlight. Little space?
926
00:53:46,562 --> 00:53:48,647
Any closer, you'd be inside me.
927
00:53:49,356 --> 00:53:51,066
I'm sorry. I'm just scared.
928
00:53:53,027 --> 00:53:55,362
No, no, no, no. Careful.
He hides in closets.
929
00:54:04,496 --> 00:54:05,998
No killers in here.
930
00:54:50,501 --> 00:54:51,502
Help!
931
00:54:53,712 --> 00:54:55,296
Hey! Hey! What--
What's happening?
932
00:54:55,297 --> 00:54:56,590
- He's here.
- Who?
933
00:54:58,592 --> 00:54:59,969
Go! Get back! Get back!
934
00:55:08,477 --> 00:55:10,603
Hey. Hey. Hey, hey. Hey!
935
00:55:10,604 --> 00:55:12,313
Where are you going? Uncuff me.
936
00:55:12,314 --> 00:55:13,816
Don't worry, lover boy.
937
00:55:14,525 --> 00:55:15,818
I'll protect you.
938
00:55:16,527 --> 00:55:19,280
No. No. No.
939
00:55:27,538 --> 00:55:29,081
God! Damn it!
940
00:55:33,502 --> 00:55:34,753
Shaw?
941
00:55:54,148 --> 00:55:55,149
Shaw!
942
00:56:31,101 --> 00:56:32,102
Jay?
943
00:56:33,103 --> 00:56:34,104
Jay!
944
00:56:35,189 --> 00:56:36,524
Jay, can you hear me?
945
00:56:37,358 --> 00:56:38,691
Yes, yes, Ally.
946
00:56:38,692 --> 00:56:40,861
Ally, you've gotta
find the keys.
947
00:56:41,195 --> 00:56:44,072
Uh, Hobbs has the keys, okay?
You have to find Hobbs
948
00:56:44,073 --> 00:56:47,660
'cause he locked me in here
like a fucking asshole.
949
00:56:49,787 --> 00:56:50,788
Ally?
950
00:56:53,791 --> 00:56:54,792
Ally?
951
00:56:58,796 --> 00:57:00,089
She ditched me.
952
00:57:02,466 --> 00:57:03,467
That's okay.
953
00:57:06,011 --> 00:57:07,012
Ally?
954
00:57:19,984 --> 00:57:21,026
Hey.
955
00:57:25,281 --> 00:57:26,282
Hey.
956
00:57:30,536 --> 00:57:31,537
Come on.
957
00:57:32,121 --> 00:57:33,122
Hey, come on.
958
00:57:33,539 --> 00:57:34,540
This is not fair!
959
00:57:37,126 --> 00:57:38,127
Shit!
960
00:57:47,928 --> 00:57:49,013
Die.
961
00:57:51,390 --> 00:57:52,516
Ally! Ally!
962
00:57:53,058 --> 00:57:54,810
Goddamn! I'm right here!
963
00:57:56,979 --> 00:57:57,980
Jay!
964
00:57:58,647 --> 00:57:59,648
Careful! Careful.
965
00:58:02,568 --> 00:58:03,652
- Hi.
- Hi.
966
00:58:06,947 --> 00:58:07,948
Are you okay?
967
00:58:09,617 --> 00:58:11,618
You're a terrible shot,
by the way.
968
00:58:11,619 --> 00:58:13,412
Don't fucking push it, Romeo.
969
00:58:16,707 --> 00:58:18,583
- No! Hey!
- Ally!
970
00:58:18,584 --> 00:58:20,711
- Stop!
- No, no, no! Ally!
971
00:58:22,087 --> 00:58:23,379
Fucking assholes!
972
00:58:23,380 --> 00:58:24,714
You saved my life.
973
00:58:24,715 --> 00:58:25,883
You saved mine.
974
00:58:26,592 --> 00:58:27,593
I owed you one.
975
00:58:32,139 --> 00:58:33,431
We're not together!
976
00:58:33,432 --> 00:58:35,016
Go kill somebody else!
977
00:58:35,017 --> 00:58:37,436
- Get up. Get up. Get up.
- He's coming. He's coming.
978
00:58:44,235 --> 00:58:47,278
Oh, fuck.
Do you know what we just did?
979
00:58:47,279 --> 00:58:49,989
Yeah. We led a couples-killing
maniac to a...
980
00:58:49,990 --> 00:58:51,991
- To an all-you-can-kill buffet.
- Come on.
981
00:58:51,992 --> 00:58:54,786
A big fat lummox like you
hiring an aeroplane to write,
982
00:58:54,787 --> 00:58:58,374
"Hildy, don't be hasty.
Remember my dimple. Walter."
983
00:58:58,749 --> 00:59:00,208
Delayed our divorce 20 minutes
984
00:59:00,209 --> 00:59:02,044
while the judge
went out to watch it.
985
00:59:06,841 --> 00:59:08,008
Are you kidding me?
986
00:59:09,927 --> 00:59:11,887
Oh, shit!
987
00:59:20,771 --> 00:59:22,231
Yo, that costume is dope.
988
00:59:25,901 --> 00:59:27,027
I don't like that.
989
00:59:30,072 --> 00:59:31,615
That's not him, right?
990
00:59:32,950 --> 00:59:34,075
What the fuck?
991
00:59:34,076 --> 00:59:35,159
It is him!
992
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:36,244
Was it my fault?
993
00:59:36,245 --> 00:59:38,997
Did I know that coal mine
was gonna have another cave-in?
994
00:59:38,998 --> 00:59:42,125
I intended to be with you
on our honeymoon, Hildy.
995
00:59:42,126 --> 00:59:43,210
'Sup, man?
996
00:59:46,046 --> 00:59:48,631
I spent two weeks in a coal mine
with John Kruptzky.
997
00:59:48,632 --> 00:59:50,258
You don't deny that,
do you, Walter?
998
00:59:50,259 --> 00:59:51,509
Deny it? I'm proud of it.
999
00:59:51,510 --> 00:59:53,178
We beat the whole country
on that story.
1000
00:59:53,179 --> 00:59:55,263
Suppose we did. That isn't
what I got married for!
1001
00:59:55,264 --> 00:59:56,348
Excuse us.
1002
00:59:57,850 --> 00:59:58,893
What a creep.
1003
01:00:04,023 --> 01:00:05,023
Left. Left.
1004
01:00:05,024 --> 01:00:07,151
No. Right. Go. Go, go, go.
1005
01:00:08,235 --> 01:00:09,236
Turn.
1006
01:00:11,780 --> 01:00:12,781
In here.
1007
01:00:26,629 --> 01:00:27,837
Hmm?
1008
01:00:27,838 --> 01:00:30,590
Put a fucking shirt on.
There's a killer after us.
1009
01:00:30,591 --> 01:00:32,384
Mmm. Oh, what is it?
1010
01:00:33,719 --> 01:00:35,303
The Heart Eyes Killer.
1011
01:00:35,304 --> 01:00:37,680
He's out there right now.
We need to be quiet.
1012
01:00:37,681 --> 01:00:41,392
Oh! Dude, that's so hot. Fuck.
1013
01:00:41,393 --> 01:00:43,520
- We love role-play.
- Yeah.
1014
01:00:43,521 --> 01:00:45,980
- Oh, my God. He's coming.
- We're so dead.
1015
01:00:45,981 --> 01:00:47,982
Oh, he's so scary and big.
1016
01:00:47,983 --> 01:00:49,485
- We can't stay here.
- No.
1017
01:00:53,614 --> 01:00:55,156
- ...without shuddering.
- Walter...
1018
01:00:55,157 --> 01:00:56,866
I made a great reporter
out of you.
1019
01:00:56,867 --> 01:00:58,993
You won't be half as good
on another paper.
1020
01:00:58,994 --> 01:01:00,078
We're a team.
1021
01:01:00,079 --> 01:01:02,163
You need me, I need you,
the paper needs us!
1022
01:01:02,164 --> 01:01:03,332
Sold, American!
1023
01:01:04,750 --> 01:01:06,376
It just didn't work out, Walter.
1024
01:01:06,377 --> 01:01:07,460
Oh, fuck.
1025
01:01:07,461 --> 01:01:09,921
It would've worked out
if you'd been satisfied...
1026
01:01:09,922 --> 01:01:11,840
Maybe we lay low
for a little bit.
1027
01:01:11,841 --> 01:01:12,966
Yeah.
1028
01:01:12,967 --> 01:01:14,093
I wasn't satisfied.
1029
01:01:14,635 --> 01:01:16,052
I suppose I proposed to you?
1030
01:01:16,053 --> 01:01:17,136
You practically did.
1031
01:01:17,137 --> 01:01:19,305
Making goo-goo eyes at me
for two years.
1032
01:01:19,306 --> 01:01:21,266
"Oh, Walter." And I still...
1033
01:01:21,267 --> 01:01:23,309
I actually kind of
like this movie.
1034
01:01:23,310 --> 01:01:25,104
- Yeah, you like that?
- Yeah.
1035
01:01:25,938 --> 01:01:26,981
Really?
1036
01:01:29,066 --> 01:01:30,651
Yeah. Are you surprised?
1037
01:01:32,945 --> 01:01:34,488
Little bit, yeah.
1038
01:01:39,702 --> 01:01:41,412
I did ditch you.
1039
01:01:43,163 --> 01:01:44,999
No. Ditch me?
1040
01:01:47,209 --> 01:01:48,544
It's what I'm best at.
1041
01:01:49,253 --> 01:01:50,963
- Ditching people?
- Running.
1042
01:01:51,589 --> 01:01:53,798
Hey, I was holding my own.
You didn't see me?
1043
01:01:53,799 --> 01:01:55,926
He was shaking
in his little leather boots.
1044
01:02:00,639 --> 01:02:03,142
Jay, I wasn't entirely honest
at dinner.
1045
01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:06,478
My parents had this, like...
1046
01:02:08,022 --> 01:02:09,732
storybook romance.
1047
01:02:11,317 --> 01:02:13,068
They were literally
perfect together.
1048
01:02:16,530 --> 01:02:17,823
And then my dad died.
1049
01:02:21,660 --> 01:02:23,704
I don't think
my mom ever fully recovered.
1050
01:02:27,458 --> 01:02:28,459
I'm sorry.
1051
01:02:31,962 --> 01:02:33,297
You know, when I was a kid,
1052
01:02:34,423 --> 01:02:37,718
my parents just...
hated each other.
1053
01:02:38,677 --> 01:02:41,889
I mean, they fought...
all the time.
1054
01:02:43,516 --> 01:02:44,808
I think that...
1055
01:02:45,935 --> 01:02:47,436
is why I'm just this...
1056
01:02:49,271 --> 01:02:50,731
hapless romantic.
1057
01:02:52,024 --> 01:02:55,568
Just putting every girl
I fall for on a pedestal,
1058
01:02:55,569 --> 01:02:58,613
only to have
my heart broken over...
1059
01:02:58,614 --> 01:03:00,365
- More.
- and over...
1060
01:03:00,366 --> 01:03:01,533
More?
1061
01:03:01,534 --> 01:03:02,660
...and over.
1062
01:03:04,411 --> 01:03:05,620
Keep going.
1063
01:03:05,621 --> 01:03:06,914
All because they...
1064
01:03:09,208 --> 01:03:12,335
they just can't... breathe
1065
01:03:12,336 --> 01:03:14,296
my suffocating attempt
1066
01:03:15,631 --> 01:03:18,342
to prove Mom and Dad wrong.
1067
01:03:23,597 --> 01:03:24,682
You know, I think...
1068
01:03:26,433 --> 01:03:29,352
I think tonight
should've been, like,
1069
01:03:29,353 --> 01:03:31,063
the worst night of my life.
1070
01:03:35,317 --> 01:03:36,318
But it isn't.
1071
01:03:41,448 --> 01:03:42,449
Ditto.
1072
01:03:45,119 --> 01:03:46,370
Baby, you're so wet.
1073
01:03:52,918 --> 01:03:55,713
God, you're so hard! Ow!
1074
01:04:00,009 --> 01:04:01,342
At least they're having fun.
1075
01:04:01,343 --> 01:04:02,887
Oh, shit!
1076
01:04:04,805 --> 01:04:05,806
It's kinda loud.
1077
01:04:08,184 --> 01:04:09,185
Yeah, it's too loud.
1078
01:04:09,518 --> 01:04:10,561
Shut the fuck up!
1079
01:04:11,353 --> 01:04:14,022
- Shut up! Shut the fuck up.
- Quiet down!
1080
01:04:14,023 --> 01:04:16,232
- Samm! I'm coming!
- Oh, God!
1081
01:04:16,233 --> 01:04:18,861
- I'm coming!
- Shut up! Shut up!
1082
01:04:41,050 --> 01:04:44,428
Holy shit. Someone call 911!
1083
01:04:49,475 --> 01:04:50,476
Fuck!
1084
01:04:57,233 --> 01:04:58,234
Please, no!
1085
01:05:37,982 --> 01:05:39,482
What are you-- Hey, Ally.
1086
01:05:39,483 --> 01:05:40,984
- What are you doing?
- Wait.
1087
01:05:40,985 --> 01:05:42,862
Wait for what?
He's gonna kill us.
1088
01:05:43,737 --> 01:05:45,322
And if he doesn't kill us,
1089
01:05:46,198 --> 01:05:47,949
he's gonna keep killing people.
1090
01:05:47,950 --> 01:05:49,243
We brought him here,
1091
01:05:50,828 --> 01:05:51,829
we end it here.
1092
01:05:52,371 --> 01:05:53,789
- We--
- Come on.
1093
01:05:54,623 --> 01:05:56,125
I thought we were a team.
1094
01:06:38,292 --> 01:06:40,002
Hey, Fuck Eyes!
1095
01:06:43,506 --> 01:06:44,548
Wait, wait, wait.
1096
01:06:45,466 --> 01:06:46,467
We need a weapon.
1097
01:06:47,593 --> 01:06:48,594
I have this.
1098
01:06:49,470 --> 01:06:51,180
That is not a weapon.
1099
01:06:54,016 --> 01:06:55,017
That could work.
1100
01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:03,526
- I don't think I can do that.
- What? Hey...
1101
01:07:03,984 --> 01:07:04,985
Yes, you can.
1102
01:07:06,028 --> 01:07:07,029
Come on.
1103
01:07:24,421 --> 01:07:25,422
Run!
1104
01:07:28,843 --> 01:07:29,844
Ally!
1105
01:08:03,294 --> 01:08:04,461
Oh, shit!
1106
01:08:19,935 --> 01:08:21,477
Thanks a lot, Jay.
1107
01:08:21,854 --> 01:08:22,855
What?
1108
01:08:24,190 --> 01:08:25,690
You got it in my mouth.
1109
01:08:25,691 --> 01:08:27,065
I just saved your life.
1110
01:08:27,066 --> 01:08:28,902
Oh, my God.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
1111
01:08:28,903 --> 01:08:30,029
No. Hey.
1112
01:08:30,946 --> 01:08:31,989
Oh, no, no, no.
1113
01:08:40,330 --> 01:08:42,373
I told you
I was not good with blood.
1114
01:08:42,374 --> 01:08:43,584
Yeah, no kidding.
1115
01:09:03,896 --> 01:09:05,522
Uh, who the fuck is that?
1116
01:09:06,565 --> 01:09:07,858
I have no idea.
1117
01:09:14,073 --> 01:09:15,865
He's lost a lot of blood here.
1118
01:09:16,992 --> 01:09:18,535
Do you have an ID on the victim?
1119
01:09:19,035 --> 01:09:21,497
You two, you're gonna be famous.
1120
01:09:22,039 --> 01:09:24,749
The couple
that stopped Heart Eyes. I--
1121
01:09:27,794 --> 01:09:29,046
It's very cute.
1122
01:09:30,004 --> 01:09:31,213
Thank-- Thank-- Thank you.
1123
01:09:31,214 --> 01:09:32,675
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
1124
01:09:33,467 --> 01:09:34,927
I'm gonna leave you alone now.
1125
01:09:42,476 --> 01:09:43,852
Shot in the dark here.
1126
01:09:45,271 --> 01:09:46,563
Wanna come back to my hotel
1127
01:09:46,564 --> 01:09:49,191
and try and crack this campaign
before my flight?
1128
01:09:51,360 --> 01:09:53,195
Just actually eat some dinner.
1129
01:09:53,779 --> 01:09:55,614
Order a whole bunch
of room service.
1130
01:09:58,534 --> 01:09:59,577
Um...
1131
01:10:01,245 --> 01:10:03,372
Jay, I can't.
1132
01:10:11,380 --> 01:10:12,423
Hey, you two.
1133
01:10:16,051 --> 01:10:18,596
Just wanted to make sure
you both got home safe.
1134
01:10:19,180 --> 01:10:20,472
Either of you need a lift?
1135
01:10:21,098 --> 01:10:23,767
Um... Actually...
1136
01:10:25,644 --> 01:10:27,645
I don't suppose
you have a phone,
1137
01:10:27,646 --> 01:10:29,022
just so I can call a cab?
1138
01:10:29,023 --> 01:10:31,149
No, don't be silly.
I'll give you a ride home.
1139
01:10:31,150 --> 01:10:32,859
Least I can do.
1140
01:10:32,860 --> 01:10:34,195
Your chariot awaits.
1141
01:10:35,529 --> 01:10:36,780
Okay.
1142
01:10:41,869 --> 01:10:42,995
Work call later?
1143
01:10:45,414 --> 01:10:46,582
Sounds like a plan.
1144
01:10:50,628 --> 01:10:52,962
Hey, uh, does anyone have a pen?
1145
01:10:52,963 --> 01:10:54,465
- I got you, dude.
- Okay.
1146
01:10:56,884 --> 01:10:57,885
Can I see that?
1147
01:11:05,518 --> 01:11:06,936
That's me.
1148
01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:11,857
Your chariot awaits.
1149
01:11:21,492 --> 01:11:22,868
She's not my type.
1150
01:11:41,095 --> 01:11:43,346
Hey, I got another call,
1151
01:11:43,347 --> 01:11:45,473
so I'm just gonna
have to take that
1152
01:11:45,474 --> 01:11:47,226
and that too.
1153
01:12:00,823 --> 01:12:02,449
Hey, do you need a ride?
1154
01:12:39,486 --> 01:12:40,486
Hey.
1155
01:12:40,487 --> 01:12:42,447
Um, do you have
something you wanna tell me?
1156
01:12:42,448 --> 01:12:44,073
Oh, you're never gonna believe
what happened.
1157
01:12:44,074 --> 01:12:45,700
Hello, Heart Eyes?
Are you kidding me?
1158
01:12:45,701 --> 01:12:46,993
But wait. Are you okay?
1159
01:12:46,994 --> 01:12:48,453
Tell me the truth.
Do you need to come over?
1160
01:12:48,454 --> 01:12:49,788
You can sleep
in Arthur's panic room.
1161
01:12:51,999 --> 01:12:53,709
No, I-- I hate this feeling.
1162
01:12:54,627 --> 01:12:55,628
What feeling?
1163
01:12:57,338 --> 01:12:58,506
Liking someone.
1164
01:12:59,673 --> 01:13:01,133
God, I fucked up.
1165
01:13:02,176 --> 01:13:03,301
I fucked up, Mon.
1166
01:13:03,302 --> 01:13:05,553
I met a really,
really great guy,
1167
01:13:05,554 --> 01:13:06,722
and now he's gone.
1168
01:13:09,725 --> 01:13:10,726
Where is he?
1169
01:13:11,352 --> 01:13:12,644
At the airport.
1170
01:13:12,645 --> 01:13:14,896
Oh. Okay, great.
He's at the airport. Go get him.
1171
01:13:14,897 --> 01:13:15,980
Mon, I--
1172
01:13:15,981 --> 01:13:18,817
Hey, Ally. Ally, listen to me.
1173
01:13:19,401 --> 01:13:20,860
You deserve to be happy.
1174
01:13:20,861 --> 01:13:23,029
You deserve
to have someone love you
1175
01:13:23,030 --> 01:13:26,283
for the beautiful,
neurotic mess that you are.
1176
01:13:27,201 --> 01:13:29,244
I mean, you can be
so clueless sometimes.
1177
01:13:29,245 --> 01:13:31,746
It's one of the ten things
I hate about you, honestly.
1178
01:13:31,747 --> 01:13:34,415
You can't let Jay go off
to his best friend's wedding
1179
01:13:34,416 --> 01:13:36,042
and hook up
with a bunch of bridesmaids
1180
01:13:36,043 --> 01:13:37,545
and move to Notting Hill. No.
1181
01:13:38,087 --> 01:13:39,421
This is love, mama.
1182
01:13:40,089 --> 01:13:42,632
Some kind of wonderful,
1183
01:13:42,633 --> 01:13:45,970
crazy, stupid love, actually.
1184
01:13:47,930 --> 01:13:50,807
Go get him. Go get
that beautiful, melanin man.
1185
01:13:50,808 --> 01:13:52,058
- Okay!
- He's gorgeous!
1186
01:13:52,059 --> 01:13:53,184
- Oh, my God.
- Ally, go!
1187
01:13:53,185 --> 01:13:54,769
- You go get him right now!
- Okay. I'm going.
1188
01:13:54,770 --> 01:13:56,188
I love you! You're beautiful!
1189
01:13:58,524 --> 01:14:00,817
This is your final call
for all passengers
1190
01:14:00,818 --> 01:14:03,320
on flight 403 to Boston.
1191
01:14:05,614 --> 01:14:06,740
Thank you.
1192
01:14:08,617 --> 01:14:09,617
Jay?
1193
01:14:09,618 --> 01:14:11,244
Please have
your boarding pass...
1194
01:14:11,245 --> 01:14:12,996
- Jay!
- ...and identification ready.
1195
01:14:12,997 --> 01:14:14,081
Thank you.
1196
01:14:18,127 --> 01:14:19,128
Jay?
1197
01:14:21,505 --> 01:14:22,881
- Jay!
- Fuck!
1198
01:14:22,882 --> 01:14:23,966
Sorry.
1199
01:14:27,261 --> 01:14:28,262
Jay!
1200
01:14:31,348 --> 01:14:32,682
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
1201
01:14:32,683 --> 01:14:34,310
I thought
you were somebody else.
1202
01:14:34,894 --> 01:14:37,270
Paging passengers
Mr. and Mrs. Jones
1203
01:14:37,271 --> 01:14:38,521
flying to Denver...
1204
01:14:38,522 --> 01:14:40,023
- Sorry.
- ...on flight 273.
1205
01:14:40,024 --> 01:14:42,525
Your flight is boarded
and ready for departure.
1206
01:14:42,526 --> 01:14:43,943
Please make your way
1207
01:14:43,944 --> 01:14:46,529
to gate lounge 11 immediately.
1208
01:14:46,530 --> 01:14:48,656
- Hello?
- Roses are red,
1209
01:14:48,657 --> 01:14:50,700
violets are black.
1210
01:14:50,701 --> 01:14:52,327
Guess who's with me
1211
01:14:52,328 --> 01:14:54,454
and not coming back?
1212
01:14:54,455 --> 01:14:55,539
Who is this?
1213
01:14:57,082 --> 01:14:58,334
We've met before.
1214
01:14:58,834 --> 01:15:00,001
Forget me not.
1215
01:15:00,002 --> 01:15:01,961
Ally! Ally! No!
1216
01:15:01,962 --> 01:15:04,005
Don't-- Do not--
1217
01:15:04,006 --> 01:15:05,716
St. Valentine's Chapel.
1218
01:15:06,425 --> 01:15:08,384
Come alone or he dies.
1219
01:15:08,385 --> 01:15:09,470
Okay.
1220
01:15:10,054 --> 01:15:12,640
Call for help, he dies.
1221
01:15:13,265 --> 01:15:14,934
Okay. Just please
don't hurt him.
1222
01:15:16,352 --> 01:15:18,312
That's up to you, sweetheart.
1223
01:16:03,190 --> 01:16:05,526
They say love is blind
1224
01:16:06,443 --> 01:16:09,029
and lovers cannot see,
1225
01:16:11,991 --> 01:16:16,245
the pretty follies
that they themselves commit.
1226
01:16:18,080 --> 01:16:21,250
But love isn't blind...
1227
01:16:29,466 --> 01:16:30,467
is it?
1228
01:16:31,719 --> 01:16:32,845
Wait, you're--
1229
01:16:34,180 --> 01:16:35,181
It's me.
1230
01:16:37,516 --> 01:16:38,517
David.
1231
01:16:43,439 --> 01:16:44,565
The IT guy.
1232
01:16:45,858 --> 01:16:47,943
Wait, who the fuck
did we kill then?
1233
01:16:49,278 --> 01:16:50,321
Eli.
1234
01:16:50,821 --> 01:16:52,990
Poor, stupid Eli.
1235
01:16:53,449 --> 01:16:54,991
You guys were a couple?
1236
01:16:54,992 --> 01:16:56,368
Couple? No. No.
1237
01:16:58,829 --> 01:16:59,830
Throuple.
1238
01:17:03,626 --> 01:17:06,337
Love looks with eyes wide open.
1239
01:17:08,130 --> 01:17:10,549
Seeking what the heart desires
the most.
1240
01:17:12,468 --> 01:17:13,469
A partner.
1241
01:17:14,929 --> 01:17:16,472
Its true companion.
1242
01:17:21,894 --> 01:17:24,605
I found mine ten years ago
in a chat room.
1243
01:17:26,232 --> 01:17:27,607
David saw me.
1244
01:17:27,608 --> 01:17:29,317
He understood me
1245
01:17:29,318 --> 01:17:31,153
and I understood him.
1246
01:17:38,494 --> 01:17:39,703
We got married here.
1247
01:17:40,704 --> 01:17:43,249
You know, I didn't really
take you for the religious type.
1248
01:17:44,583 --> 01:17:47,503
No. We just like the story.
1249
01:17:50,673 --> 01:17:52,132
Saint Valentine...
1250
01:17:54,844 --> 01:17:56,095
was beheaded.
1251
01:17:59,557 --> 01:18:01,475
You murdered innocent people.
1252
01:18:02,935 --> 01:18:04,937
- Share what you love.
- Share what you love.
1253
01:18:07,231 --> 01:18:10,317
And we love hunting, killing...
1254
01:18:11,527 --> 01:18:12,653
Deceit.
1255
01:18:13,487 --> 01:18:15,531
Taking turns on our victims.
1256
01:18:17,157 --> 01:18:18,450
Murdering couples.
1257
01:18:22,037 --> 01:18:23,497
- It's our kink.
- It's our kink.
1258
01:18:24,874 --> 01:18:26,792
Everybody's got a fetish.
1259
01:18:31,797 --> 01:18:34,465
Well, too bad we wasted
your boyfriend at the drive-in.
1260
01:18:34,466 --> 01:18:37,386
Oh, God.
He wasn't our boyfriend.
1261
01:18:37,803 --> 01:18:40,805
No, Eli was just
a stupid fanboy.
1262
01:18:40,806 --> 01:18:42,473
He was obsessed with us.
1263
01:18:42,474 --> 01:18:43,725
He was obsessed with me.
1264
01:18:43,726 --> 01:18:45,436
Yeah. Learned a lot from me.
1265
01:18:46,437 --> 01:18:47,438
It just got messy.
1266
01:18:48,189 --> 01:18:49,314
Fuck!
1267
01:18:49,315 --> 01:18:50,649
I almost got you at home.
1268
01:18:51,483 --> 01:18:52,484
Go, go, go, go!
1269
01:18:53,861 --> 01:18:55,446
- I killed your driver.
- ...lovebirds.
1270
01:18:56,322 --> 01:18:57,530
No, no, no!
You've got the wrong people.
1271
01:18:57,531 --> 01:18:58,615
What are you--
1272
01:18:58,616 --> 01:19:01,952
And I had a blast wasting those
vile dickheads at the winery.
1273
01:19:04,246 --> 01:19:06,207
Ooh! That reminds me.
1274
01:19:07,208 --> 01:19:08,750
- Huh.
- Found this.
1275
01:19:08,751 --> 01:19:12,504
God, you're the fucking best.
1276
01:19:12,505 --> 01:19:14,005
Isn't she the fucking best?
1277
01:19:14,006 --> 01:19:15,089
Yeah, I know.
1278
01:19:15,090 --> 01:19:16,800
And as luck would have it,
1279
01:19:18,010 --> 01:19:19,219
your initials match.
1280
01:19:19,220 --> 01:19:21,889
J. Shaw.
1281
01:19:22,348 --> 01:19:25,267
Jeanine Shaw, bitch.
1282
01:19:26,519 --> 01:19:28,853
Why us? We're not even a couple.
1283
01:19:28,854 --> 01:19:31,232
Just let him go! Let him go!
1284
01:19:32,107 --> 01:19:33,358
Truth be told,
1285
01:19:33,359 --> 01:19:35,986
we were gonna kill the other
couple at the restaurant.
1286
01:19:37,404 --> 01:19:38,405
But then...
1287
01:19:39,782 --> 01:19:42,326
- we saw that kiss.
- That kiss! God!
1288
01:19:43,035 --> 01:19:46,121
Your chemistry is undeniable.
1289
01:20:00,886 --> 01:20:04,013
Well, I didn't know that murder
was a love language.
1290
01:20:04,014 --> 01:20:05,099
Try it.
1291
01:20:05,933 --> 01:20:07,184
Maybe you'll like it.
1292
01:20:12,815 --> 01:20:14,024
Pick it up.
1293
01:20:15,943 --> 01:20:16,944
Pick it up.
1294
01:20:18,112 --> 01:20:20,154
There's a single bullet
in that chamber
1295
01:20:20,155 --> 01:20:22,658
with one single choice,
him or you.
1296
01:20:32,126 --> 01:20:33,751
We may have
mistaken you for lovers
1297
01:20:33,752 --> 01:20:36,630
at the beginning of the night,
but can you prove us right?
1298
01:20:37,339 --> 01:20:39,174
Could you save
his life with yours,
1299
01:20:39,175 --> 01:20:42,553
thus proving that love
really does conquer all?
1300
01:20:44,430 --> 01:20:46,932
If you don't love him, kill him.
1301
01:20:48,309 --> 01:20:49,643
And you're free to go.
1302
01:20:53,439 --> 01:20:54,440
Wow.
1303
01:20:57,151 --> 01:20:59,862
You know,
your dedication is impressive.
1304
01:21:02,615 --> 01:21:03,991
It's twisted as fuck, but--
1305
01:21:09,496 --> 01:21:10,664
Jay.
1306
01:21:13,751 --> 01:21:16,962
I've spent so long
running from love.
1307
01:21:19,548 --> 01:21:21,467
Convinced it would destroy me.
1308
01:21:29,225 --> 01:21:30,976
I don't wanna be
that person anymore.
1309
01:21:35,898 --> 01:21:37,691
I want the storybook thing.
1310
01:21:44,782 --> 01:21:47,326
It was just one single night...
1311
01:21:51,455 --> 01:21:53,290
but I fell hard for you, Jay.
1312
01:22:02,633 --> 01:22:05,844
No, no, no. Don't do that.
1313
01:22:05,845 --> 01:22:07,720
No! No, hey.
1314
01:22:07,721 --> 01:22:09,472
Hey. Hey, no.
1315
01:22:09,473 --> 01:22:11,851
- No, no! Ally!
- Forgive me.
1316
01:22:23,320 --> 01:22:24,697
Baby, no!
1317
01:22:25,781 --> 01:22:27,073
- Come on.
- Oh, you shot me.
1318
01:22:27,074 --> 01:22:29,075
Sorry, I overcorrected.
1319
01:22:29,076 --> 01:22:30,494
That's a lucky fucking shot.
1320
01:22:38,544 --> 01:22:40,921
Ally, did you mean
what you said?
1321
01:22:42,089 --> 01:22:43,090
Come on.
1322
01:22:43,716 --> 01:22:45,009
Pookie.
1323
01:22:45,843 --> 01:22:47,302
Chop that pretty boy up.
1324
01:22:47,303 --> 01:22:48,928
I'm gonna have fun
with this one.
1325
01:22:48,929 --> 01:22:51,181
- No. No.
- Oh, yes, Mommy.
1326
01:22:51,182 --> 01:22:54,310
No! No!
Don't you fucking touch him! No!
1327
01:22:55,519 --> 01:22:56,520
No!
1328
01:22:57,188 --> 01:22:58,189
No!
1329
01:23:02,276 --> 01:23:04,028
You shouldn't
have shot me, bitch.
1330
01:23:13,662 --> 01:23:14,747
Hey, hey, come on.
1331
01:23:15,873 --> 01:23:17,041
Look at her go.
1332
01:23:20,794 --> 01:23:22,755
Oh, you don't wanna miss this,
do you?
1333
01:23:23,589 --> 01:23:25,131
Isn't she perfect?
1334
01:23:25,132 --> 01:23:26,383
You talk too much.
1335
01:23:43,526 --> 01:23:45,402
I'm gonna fucking kill you both.
1336
01:23:59,917 --> 01:24:01,126
You watching, Jay?
1337
01:24:02,503 --> 01:24:04,255
I want you to see her die.
1338
01:24:09,802 --> 01:24:11,262
Love hurts, bitch.
1339
01:25:35,179 --> 01:25:36,722
Your day fucking sucks.
1340
01:25:41,352 --> 01:25:42,353
Jay.
1341
01:25:43,187 --> 01:25:44,313
Jay. Hey.
1342
01:25:45,064 --> 01:25:46,065
Hey.
1343
01:25:46,899 --> 01:25:47,900
Hi, you.
1344
01:25:48,275 --> 01:25:49,276
Hey.
1345
01:25:54,365 --> 01:25:56,700
I think you got over
your fear of blood.
1346
01:25:58,911 --> 01:26:00,286
I'm gonna kill you.
1347
01:26:00,287 --> 01:26:02,081
I'll fucking kill you.
1348
01:26:02,581 --> 01:26:04,124
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
1349
01:26:17,763 --> 01:26:18,848
Planet saved.
1350
01:26:21,016 --> 01:26:22,226
Planet saved.
1351
01:26:48,043 --> 01:26:50,962
Now, if you told me that,
a year ago,
1352
01:26:50,963 --> 01:26:54,924
I'd be drinking
to the highest recorded sales
1353
01:26:54,925 --> 01:26:57,010
in Crystal Cane history,
I'd say,
1354
01:26:57,011 --> 01:26:59,762
"Y'all just a lying sack
of hot trash."
1355
01:26:59,763 --> 01:27:02,600
But... here we are.
1356
01:27:03,893 --> 01:27:07,479
And it's all thanks
to these two marketing mavens.
1357
01:27:11,066 --> 01:27:13,110
Right here. These two.
1358
01:27:14,153 --> 01:27:16,070
Now, Ally. I am,
1359
01:27:16,071 --> 01:27:17,822
believe it or not,
mildly devastated
1360
01:27:17,823 --> 01:27:19,533
that this is your last day.
1361
01:27:20,075 --> 01:27:22,911
But I am proud of you for going,
pursuing your dreams,
1362
01:27:22,912 --> 01:27:24,704
going back to doctor school.
1363
01:27:24,705 --> 01:27:27,165
All told, I really do hope
that you're better with a needle
1364
01:27:27,166 --> 01:27:28,792
than you are with a pitch deck!
1365
01:27:31,587 --> 01:27:32,879
To success!
1366
01:27:32,880 --> 01:27:34,756
- To success!
- To success.
1367
01:27:34,757 --> 01:27:35,841
Wait.
1368
01:27:37,468 --> 01:27:38,469
To love.
1369
01:27:45,559 --> 01:27:46,560
Hey, baby.
1370
01:27:47,144 --> 01:27:48,145
Hi.
1371
01:27:49,104 --> 01:27:50,146
What did I miss?
1372
01:27:50,147 --> 01:27:52,315
Hey, do you think it's weird
having a date here
1373
01:27:52,316 --> 01:27:54,108
after everything that happened?
1374
01:27:54,109 --> 01:27:55,486
Nope. Not to me.
1375
01:27:56,362 --> 01:27:58,864
This is where I realized
that I was in love with you.
1376
01:27:59,198 --> 01:28:01,533
So, feels symbolic.
1377
01:28:01,534 --> 01:28:03,160
Okay. Symbolic?
1378
01:28:03,786 --> 01:28:05,037
You think it's symb--
1379
01:28:06,247 --> 01:28:08,915
Listen, don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
1380
01:28:08,916 --> 01:28:11,377
I know stuff like this
can freak you out, but...
1381
01:28:14,213 --> 01:28:16,340
Ally, this has been
the best year of my life.
1382
01:28:18,592 --> 01:28:19,593
So...
1383
01:28:21,595 --> 01:28:23,097
will you move in with me?
1384
01:28:32,398 --> 01:28:33,399
Jay, I--
1385
01:28:35,526 --> 01:28:36,735
I don't know what to say.
1386
01:28:38,070 --> 01:28:40,822
Yeah, no. I--I know
where that's going.
1387
01:28:40,823 --> 01:28:42,198
- It's okay.
- No, I--
1388
01:28:42,199 --> 01:28:43,450
I don't want a key.
1389
01:28:46,120 --> 01:28:47,121
I don't want a key.
1390
01:28:51,542 --> 01:28:52,543
I want you.
1391
01:29:06,432 --> 01:29:07,683
Jay Simmonds...
1392
01:29:10,519 --> 01:29:11,645
will you marry me?
1393
01:29:23,073 --> 01:29:24,074
Yes.
1394
01:29:25,034 --> 01:29:26,618
- Yes?
- Yes. Yes.
1395
01:29:26,619 --> 01:29:30,039
A million fucking times, yes.
1396
01:31:23,777 --> 01:31:24,777
Hello?
1397
01:31:24,778 --> 01:31:26,112
Roses are red,
1398
01:31:26,113 --> 01:31:27,990
violets are blue.
1399
01:31:29,074 --> 01:31:32,119
Guess who just took
a picture of you?
1400
01:31:32,828 --> 01:31:33,829
Who is this?
1401
01:31:35,080 --> 01:31:36,289
Relax, bitch.
1402
01:31:36,290 --> 01:31:37,373
Too soon?
1403
01:31:37,374 --> 01:31:39,334
Monica, that's not funny!
1404
01:31:39,335 --> 01:31:40,920
Where even are you?
1405
01:31:41,795 --> 01:31:42,795
Did you get it?
1406
01:31:42,796 --> 01:31:44,297
Of course, I got it.
Are you kidding me?
1407
01:31:44,298 --> 01:31:45,381
You look super cute.
1408
01:31:45,382 --> 01:31:46,966
I mean,
I would have gotten a manicure,
1409
01:31:46,967 --> 01:31:48,593
but I told you that,
and you're fine with that.
1410
01:31:48,594 --> 01:31:50,720
You're a natural gal.
You look great.
1411
01:31:50,721 --> 01:31:54,475
Okay, enjoy the movie, fiancés.
Love you.
1412
01:31:56,268 --> 01:31:58,145
Ally? Hello?