WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:02.748 --> 00:02:03.915 Hm. 4 00:02:07.252 --> 00:02:11.088 - Arsenio Hall! - Woo! Woo! Woo! 5 00:02:16.345 --> 00:02:19.430 Team Two take the prison. We get the villa. 6 00:02:43.622 --> 00:02:47.124 Little Sister, this is Big Brother, we are in the ballpark. 7 00:03:00.639 --> 00:03:03.766 Big Brother, Little Sister. We're at the prison. 8 00:04:04.828 --> 00:04:07.622 Little Sister, Big Brother. Are you in position? 9 00:04:07.831 --> 00:04:12.209 Big Brother, Little Sister, affirmative. Attack in 30. 10 00:04:12.836 --> 00:04:14.128 Starting now. 11 00:04:24.514 --> 00:04:25.556 Hm! 12 00:04:33.357 --> 00:04:34.565 Ooh! Ooh! 13 00:04:40.238 --> 00:04:42.239 Ah, ah. Ooh. 14 00:04:57.923 --> 00:04:59.090 Six... 15 00:04:59.341 --> 00:05:04.762 ...five, four, three, two... 16 00:05:07.933 --> 00:05:08.933 It's an ambush! 17 00:05:13.563 --> 00:05:15.606 Alka-Seltzer! 18 00:05:17.067 --> 00:05:18.109 Whoa! 19 00:05:18.777 --> 00:05:19.777 Ahh! 20 00:05:21.363 --> 00:05:24.198 Big Brother! Harbinger, where are you? 21 00:05:27.953 --> 00:05:29.829 Ahh! 22 00:05:33.041 --> 00:05:34.625 Ahh! Ah! Ah! 23 00:05:38.338 --> 00:05:39.797 Ah! Oh! 24 00:05:43.135 --> 00:05:46.470 Surrender, Yankee infidels! You have no chance. 25 00:05:46.930 --> 00:05:49.640 Off to prison, American Satans. 26 00:06:12.956 --> 00:06:16.792 Americans were shocked by the announcement of the failure 27 00:06:17.002 --> 00:06:20.629 of yet another mission to rescue hostages from the Middle East. 28 00:06:20.839 --> 00:06:24.842 Informed sources reveal that the rescue team itself has been captured 29 00:06:25.093 --> 00:06:27.344 and added to those already being held. 30 00:06:27.637 --> 00:06:30.347 Reports also indicate that an attempt on the life 31 00:06:30.599 --> 00:06:34.351 of a terrorist dictator was thwarted at the same time. 32 00:06:34.603 --> 00:06:39.273 With the election 10 days away, it may be a setback for the White House. 33 00:06:39.691 --> 00:06:42.818 Presidential challenger Senator Gray Edwards 34 00:06:43.028 --> 00:06:45.321 commented on the failed mission. 35 00:06:45.530 --> 00:06:47.698 This is no time for partisan politics. 36 00:06:47.866 --> 00:06:50.910 Bringing our people home should be our priority. 37 00:06:51.286 --> 00:06:55.623 Despite this crisis, the president put on his best political face 38 00:06:55.832 --> 00:06:57.875 continuing on his campaign schedule. 39 00:06:58.126 --> 00:07:00.878 Benson's 20-point lead in the poll six months ago 40 00:07:01.129 --> 00:07:04.340 has plummeted since the hostage crisis began. 41 00:07:04.549 --> 00:07:06.842 The CNN/Victoria's Secret catalog poll 42 00:07:07.052 --> 00:07:10.179 has the president and Edwards running neck and neck. 43 00:07:10.388 --> 00:07:13.974 Today, Benson made a brief stop in Fergus Falls, Virginia 44 00:07:14.184 --> 00:07:17.144 - for a groundbreaking of a library. - You took my baby! 45 00:07:17.354 --> 00:07:19.647 The five living former chief executives 46 00:07:19.815 --> 00:07:23.567 Presidents Bush, Reagan, Carter, Ford and Nixon 47 00:07:23.735 --> 00:07:26.362 were on hand for the groundbreaking ceremony. 48 00:07:26.571 --> 00:07:29.990 Correspondent Jeri Kelter reports on this historic moment. 49 00:07:30.242 --> 00:07:33.744 The library is to be built near the Fergus Falls Civic Center. 50 00:07:34.079 --> 00:07:37.331 - President Benson made no statements. - Oh! My knee! 51 00:07:37.499 --> 00:07:41.919 Publicly, he seemed unaware of the political blow he had been dealt. 52 00:07:42.087 --> 00:07:47.049 Privately, aides marveled at his spirit as he performed his morning routine 53 00:07:47.259 --> 00:07:49.093 by milking the White House goats 54 00:07:49.261 --> 00:07:52.429 and eating two helpings of grapefruit and creamed corn. 55 00:07:53.181 --> 00:07:57.935 Tonight, the president and his top advisers will burn the midnight oil. 56 00:07:58.103 --> 00:08:00.020 Sabotage. 57 00:08:00.272 --> 00:08:02.606 My God, man, what does it mean? 58 00:08:02.774 --> 00:08:05.943 We must tighten security, sir. Find out who's behind it. 59 00:08:06.111 --> 00:08:09.572 No, no, no. The word "sabotage." What does it mean? 60 00:08:09.781 --> 00:08:11.949 Someone's subverting our mission, sir. 61 00:08:12.200 --> 00:08:14.410 One of our own may be aiding the enemy. 62 00:08:15.078 --> 00:08:16.328 Come in! 63 00:08:18.290 --> 00:08:19.582 Mr. President. 64 00:08:19.791 --> 00:08:23.711 Oh, Jesus! Don't you ever sneak up on me like that again. 65 00:08:23.920 --> 00:08:24.962 What is it, Bob? 66 00:08:25.130 --> 00:08:28.132 If Edwards hears of this, he'll use it against you. 67 00:08:28.300 --> 00:08:32.136 - He'll try to prove you're incompetent. - I can prove that too. 68 00:08:32.304 --> 00:08:35.306 Mr. President, the CIA can't afford another failure. 69 00:08:35.473 --> 00:08:38.058 We'll send Colonel Walters to get our people. 70 00:08:38.268 --> 00:08:40.603 To ensure success, we need Topper Harley. 71 00:08:40.729 --> 00:08:42.938 We've located him in the Far East. 72 00:08:43.148 --> 00:08:45.149 Topper Harley. 73 00:08:46.151 --> 00:08:49.737 We've served together before, sir. There's no one better. 74 00:08:51.781 --> 00:08:53.824 - Cookie? - Not me, sir. 75 00:08:54.034 --> 00:08:56.285 - Young lady? - No, thank you. 76 00:08:56.494 --> 00:08:59.330 No, no, I was just offering him a young lady. 77 00:09:01.208 --> 00:09:03.292 Oh, yeah, Topper Harley. 78 00:09:04.085 --> 00:09:06.253 Good. I love the boy. Kid's got guts. 79 00:09:06.504 --> 00:09:09.757 There isn't a fighting man on this planet that can... 80 00:09:10.967 --> 00:09:13.177 Gotcha! Listening at the door, huh? 81 00:09:13.386 --> 00:09:16.222 Well, Walters, looks like we've got our saboteur. 82 00:09:16.431 --> 00:09:17.723 That's your wife, sir. 83 00:09:19.517 --> 00:09:22.269 Huh! Yeah, so it is. 84 00:09:22.896 --> 00:09:27.483 Lavinia. You're looking as lovely as the day we met. 85 00:09:28.693 --> 00:09:30.236 Find out what she knows. 86 00:09:30.445 --> 00:09:33.155 As for you, get me Topper Harley. 87 00:10:28.878 --> 00:10:29.920 Hm? 88 00:11:16.301 --> 00:11:19.219 Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears! Sprinkles, sprinkles! 89 00:11:19.429 --> 00:11:23.223 Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears! Sprinkles, sprinkles... 90 00:11:31.191 --> 00:11:33.025 You fight! 91 00:11:53.546 --> 00:11:55.839 Aisle 5, mezzanine, to your left. 92 00:11:56.049 --> 00:11:58.634 Get your program right here. Program! 93 00:11:58.843 --> 00:12:00.344 One pig snout sandwich. 94 00:12:36.381 --> 00:12:39.049 Both fighters are showing signs of fatigue. 95 00:12:39.259 --> 00:12:41.885 They aren't moving around the ring as much. 96 00:12:42.095 --> 00:12:44.763 Hey, this is where your conditioning pays off. 97 00:13:17.881 --> 00:13:20.090 Coochie-coochie-coo. Coochie-goo. 98 00:13:37.192 --> 00:13:38.442 You win! 99 00:13:43.990 --> 00:13:47.993 Topper, Topper, Topper, Topper... 100 00:13:48.203 --> 00:13:49.703 Topper Harley! 101 00:13:56.586 --> 00:13:57.628 Mmm. 102 00:14:24.239 --> 00:14:25.447 Topper. 103 00:14:27.283 --> 00:14:28.492 I don't believe it. 104 00:14:30.995 --> 00:14:32.996 - Topper. - Colonel. 105 00:14:33.456 --> 00:14:36.750 - Good to see you again. - Yeah, you too. 106 00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:38.752 You want to tell me about it? 107 00:14:40.171 --> 00:14:42.172 Well, they let me live here. 108 00:14:42.715 --> 00:14:44.675 I help out fixing things. 109 00:14:44.926 --> 00:14:47.594 It's peaceful. Quiet. 110 00:14:50.974 --> 00:14:53.016 No one is allowed to talk. 111 00:14:53.476 --> 00:14:56.436 And that dim sum fighting in the warehouse yesterday? 112 00:14:56.646 --> 00:14:58.605 I do that for the extra money. 113 00:14:58.815 --> 00:15:02.067 And to satisfy my male cravings to kill and win. 114 00:15:03.403 --> 00:15:05.320 Colonel, who are they? 115 00:15:06.489 --> 00:15:07.948 She's CIA. 116 00:15:08.199 --> 00:15:10.117 - The other man's an extra. - Ah. 117 00:15:10.910 --> 00:15:12.244 What does she do? 118 00:15:12.495 --> 00:15:14.830 Heads up Middle East covert operations. 119 00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:16.748 Reports directly to Benson. 120 00:15:16.958 --> 00:15:20.210 Colonel, these men have taken a supreme vow of celibacy. 121 00:15:20.628 --> 00:15:23.088 Like their fathers and grandfathers. 122 00:15:23.298 --> 00:15:25.507 They haven't seen a woman in decades. 123 00:15:25.717 --> 00:15:27.217 Miss Huddleston! 124 00:15:28.469 --> 00:15:29.845 Ow! Ow! Ow! 125 00:15:30.346 --> 00:15:32.556 This is Michelle Huddleston. 126 00:15:32.807 --> 00:15:33.890 Topper Harley. 127 00:15:34.100 --> 00:15:35.142 Pleasure. 128 00:15:35.268 --> 00:15:38.228 - You're not easy to find. - Why are you keeping track? 129 00:15:38.438 --> 00:15:39.938 It's like the colonel says: 130 00:15:40.189 --> 00:15:42.399 Good men are hard to find. 131 00:15:42.900 --> 00:15:45.736 I don't know what you know about the last war, 132 00:15:45.945 --> 00:15:48.405 but some of our men were missing in action. 133 00:15:48.615 --> 00:15:51.742 On two occasions we sent in squads to rescue those men. 134 00:15:51.951 --> 00:15:53.076 Both squads failed. 135 00:15:53.244 --> 00:15:57.122 We must get the men who went to get the men who went to get the men. 136 00:15:57.373 --> 00:16:00.917 - I'm here to make sure we succeed. - What's this got to do with me? 137 00:16:01.127 --> 00:16:02.377 I'm going this time. 138 00:16:03.588 --> 00:16:06.256 - We want you to go with him. - Why me, ma'am? 139 00:16:06.424 --> 00:16:08.216 Because you're the best of what's left. 140 00:16:10.261 --> 00:16:11.928 My war is over. 141 00:16:17.352 --> 00:16:20.103 Mmm... Ah! 142 00:16:22.607 --> 00:16:24.316 It's a few extra dollars now. 143 00:16:24.525 --> 00:16:27.319 But you'll make that back on your heating bill. 144 00:16:27.820 --> 00:16:30.947 We're gonna caulk the ashram if you want to stop by. 145 00:16:31.157 --> 00:16:32.449 Thanks, Bob. 146 00:16:36.120 --> 00:16:39.956 This mission's important. We've got to take care of our people. 147 00:16:40.375 --> 00:16:41.833 Come with me. 148 00:16:44.837 --> 00:16:47.673 When are you gonna put Ramada behind you? 149 00:16:48.466 --> 00:16:51.468 - What are you saying? - You say your war is over. 150 00:16:52.470 --> 00:16:55.681 Maybe the one out there is, but not the one inside you. 151 00:16:55.890 --> 00:16:58.975 You running from the pain won't solve anything. 152 00:16:59.185 --> 00:17:02.312 Because wherever you go, you take the pain with you. 153 00:17:02.480 --> 00:17:05.357 You've come an awful long way to lecture me. 154 00:17:05.566 --> 00:17:07.818 You were hurt when that woman left. 155 00:17:07.985 --> 00:17:10.862 You're using that to hide from who you really are. 156 00:17:11.072 --> 00:17:13.532 - That was a long time ago. - Thank you. Next! 157 00:17:13.741 --> 00:17:15.158 I don't want it. 158 00:17:15.993 --> 00:17:17.703 Nice butt. 159 00:17:19.080 --> 00:17:21.707 Topper, let me tell you a little story. 160 00:17:22.083 --> 00:17:24.376 It seems there were three bears. 161 00:17:24.585 --> 00:17:27.921 One day when their porridge was too hot, they took a walk. 162 00:17:28.172 --> 00:17:31.091 A little blond girl skipped through the woods 163 00:17:31.342 --> 00:17:34.386 and she ate their porridge and sat in their chairs 164 00:17:34.595 --> 00:17:36.179 and slept in their beds. 165 00:17:36.347 --> 00:17:39.850 And when those bears returned and discovered that mess... 166 00:17:40.101 --> 00:17:43.103 - Do you know what happened then? - No. 167 00:17:43.354 --> 00:17:46.690 That little blond girl got scared. 168 00:17:47.942 --> 00:17:49.025 Ran away. 169 00:17:49.193 --> 00:17:53.029 So, what you're saying is, that little blond girl is me. 170 00:17:54.907 --> 00:17:56.616 So I should color my hair... 171 00:17:56.868 --> 00:17:59.870 Topper, they didn't make you this fighting machine. 172 00:18:00.455 --> 00:18:03.540 They just cooked up the porridge and went for a walk. 173 00:18:03.750 --> 00:18:06.877 You won't stop running until you face your three bears. 174 00:18:08.379 --> 00:18:09.546 Ramada. 175 00:18:11.716 --> 00:18:13.091 Colonel. 176 00:18:13.885 --> 00:18:15.051 I'm sorry. 177 00:18:15.219 --> 00:18:17.095 It has to end for me sometime. 178 00:18:17.388 --> 00:18:19.389 If you should change your mind 179 00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:21.141 here's my 900 number. 180 00:18:21.392 --> 00:18:24.436 It's $5.00 a minute. I'll waive the charges. 181 00:18:31.319 --> 00:18:33.236 ...your three bears. 182 00:18:35.573 --> 00:18:36.948 Ramada. Ramada. Ramada. 183 00:19:00.264 --> 00:19:05.101 If our lips should meet Inamorata 184 00:19:05.937 --> 00:19:07.604 Don Corleone. 185 00:19:07.730 --> 00:19:12.484 Kiss me, kiss me sweet Inamorata 186 00:19:14.612 --> 00:19:19.407 Hold me close And say goodnight 187 00:19:21.661 --> 00:19:26.790 With a love As warm as wine 188 00:19:28.793 --> 00:19:34.381 I'm at heaven's door Inamorata 189 00:19:36.092 --> 00:19:41.179 Want you more and more Inamorata 190 00:19:43.015 --> 00:19:45.559 You're a symphony 191 00:19:45.977 --> 00:19:51.147 A very beautiful sonata My inamorata 192 00:19:51.816 --> 00:19:57.320 Say that you're my sweetheart My love 193 00:20:27.810 --> 00:20:30.437 You're a symphony 194 00:20:30.563 --> 00:20:35.984 A very beautiful sonata My inamorata 195 00:20:36.694 --> 00:20:42.490 Say that you're my sweetheart My love 196 00:20:45.953 --> 00:20:48.747 Hey, what's wrong, kid? 197 00:20:50.416 --> 00:20:52.751 I love you so much. 198 00:20:53.044 --> 00:20:56.922 But it's such a crazy world. I don't want anything to happen to us. 199 00:20:57.131 --> 00:20:58.423 Don't worry. 200 00:20:58.716 --> 00:21:01.718 In a few days, we'll be on the train to Hawaii. 201 00:21:01.886 --> 00:21:05.555 We'll find a minister to marry us, and we'll never be apart. 202 00:21:05.723 --> 00:21:08.391 But if something should keep us apart? 203 00:21:08.601 --> 00:21:12.062 If one of us can't make it to Blenheim Train Station? 204 00:21:12.271 --> 00:21:13.813 Like, for instance, 205 00:21:14.065 --> 00:21:16.900 if something came up unexpectedly. 206 00:21:17.109 --> 00:21:21.112 Not that I think it would. Or it already has. 207 00:21:21.405 --> 00:21:25.075 Wherever I'll be, I want you to know that... 208 00:21:31.666 --> 00:21:33.416 Kiss me. 209 00:21:34.001 --> 00:21:36.920 Kiss me like you've never kissed me before. 210 00:21:54.438 --> 00:21:58.608 You will denounce the criminal acts against our people by your president. 211 00:21:58.776 --> 00:22:02.153 Sign here. Initial here, here, and here. 212 00:22:12.540 --> 00:22:13.790 Phil! 213 00:22:29.849 --> 00:22:31.641 Sign the document. 214 00:23:00.004 --> 00:23:02.547 I see you're no stranger to pain. 215 00:23:02.757 --> 00:23:03.840 I've been married. 216 00:23:05.676 --> 00:23:07.844 - Twice. - Oy! 217 00:23:17.521 --> 00:23:21.858 Like the previous six, this victim was found folded neatly in half 218 00:23:22.276 --> 00:23:25.361 inside the glove compartment of a sanitation truck. 219 00:23:25.529 --> 00:23:27.447 Police are baffled. 220 00:23:27.698 --> 00:23:28.948 This just in. 221 00:23:29.200 --> 00:23:32.535 Presidential military adviser Colonel Denton Walters 222 00:23:32.745 --> 00:23:36.706 has been captured during an aborted attempt to free our hostages. 223 00:23:36.916 --> 00:23:40.043 This tape was delivered to us just moments ago. 224 00:23:40.211 --> 00:23:42.462 They are treating me good here. 225 00:23:43.380 --> 00:23:45.882 The food is tasty and nourishing. 226 00:23:46.300 --> 00:23:48.551 The peaceful leader of this country 227 00:23:48.719 --> 00:23:51.304 has asked me to appeal to you, Mr. President 228 00:23:51.555 --> 00:23:56.059 to stop your vicious, imperialistic tactics around the globe. 229 00:24:11.742 --> 00:24:14.661 Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome 230 00:24:14.912 --> 00:24:17.664 to His Excellency, the Prime Minister of Japan 231 00:24:17.915 --> 00:24:21.251 Mishahuru Soto and Mrs. Soto. 232 00:24:25.172 --> 00:24:28.758 The president of the United States, Thomas Benson. 233 00:24:30.094 --> 00:24:34.180 Mr. President, this is Prime Minister Mishahuru Soto and Mrs. Soto. 234 00:24:34.765 --> 00:24:37.183 President Benson, where's your first lady? 235 00:24:37.434 --> 00:24:41.479 I don't know. I've had lots of women. Lost my flower at the age of 15. 236 00:24:41.689 --> 00:24:43.022 I can't keep track. 237 00:24:43.274 --> 00:24:45.608 Let's get this over with. I feel ill. 238 00:24:45.818 --> 00:24:49.195 My intestines were removed during action in the North Atlantic. 239 00:24:49.446 --> 00:24:53.867 Took a torpedo in the gut. My bowels were replaced with hemp. 240 00:24:54.118 --> 00:24:57.036 - Clogs easily. - I hope you feel better. 241 00:24:57.288 --> 00:24:59.205 Well, my lips to yours. 242 00:25:08.883 --> 00:25:12.802 The junior senator from Minnesota, Gray Edwards. 243 00:25:13.304 --> 00:25:16.306 President Benson, Prime Minister Soto, 244 00:25:16.473 --> 00:25:18.141 ladies and gentlemen. 245 00:25:18.350 --> 00:25:21.477 Tonight we put election politics aside as I join you 246 00:25:21.687 --> 00:25:26.357 as majority whip and chairman of the Foreign Affairs Committee 247 00:25:26.650 --> 00:25:29.068 in welcoming the Japanese prime minister 248 00:25:29.320 --> 00:25:33.072 and his lovely wife to these United States. 249 00:25:33.866 --> 00:25:36.826 Our two great nations have begun... 250 00:25:37.036 --> 00:25:39.704 ...what we hope will be a long and successful dialogue. 251 00:25:41.248 --> 00:25:42.498 Ptooh! 252 00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:45.585 - Not only... - I don't remember eating that. 253 00:25:46.170 --> 00:25:48.838 I feel better now. It's that raw fish odor. 254 00:25:49.006 --> 00:25:50.048 It makes... 255 00:25:50.257 --> 00:25:51.758 Oh, God. 256 00:25:58.766 --> 00:26:02.018 Look at that! Those my teeth? 257 00:26:02.519 --> 00:26:05.021 Only to continue in the highest spirit... 258 00:26:05.272 --> 00:26:07.815 Yeah. They're filthy! 259 00:26:07.900 --> 00:26:11.194 And so I would like to propose a toast. 260 00:26:12.029 --> 00:26:14.864 - Oh, thank you, Yoko. - I'll take that, sir. 261 00:26:15.032 --> 00:26:16.783 To world peace. 262 00:26:17.451 --> 00:26:19.535 To a clean environment. 263 00:26:20.371 --> 00:26:24.540 To harmony with our planet and world prosperity. 264 00:26:28.879 --> 00:26:30.380 Thank you. 265 00:26:34.093 --> 00:26:36.386 Looking for a place to sit, lieutenant? 266 00:26:37.388 --> 00:26:40.390 I must talk to the president. Can you arrange that? 267 00:26:40.599 --> 00:26:44.102 - You'd be amazed what I can do. - It's my fault they got Walters. 268 00:26:44.311 --> 00:26:45.561 I want to go in. 269 00:26:45.729 --> 00:26:48.731 You showed up just in time. We leave in the morning. 270 00:26:48.941 --> 00:26:53.444 I'm taking charge of this mission. You mind working under a woman? 271 00:26:53.654 --> 00:26:57.282 And now, the president of the United States, Thomas Benson. 272 00:27:01.996 --> 00:27:04.580 Prime Minister Tojo, Senator Edwards, 273 00:27:04.832 --> 00:27:08.960 my fellow Americans and our millions of illegal aliens. 274 00:27:09.295 --> 00:27:12.463 It seems like only yesterday I was strafing your homes. 275 00:27:12.756 --> 00:27:16.259 Here I am today, begging you not to make such good cars. 276 00:27:16.468 --> 00:27:18.594 Excuse me. I need a glass of water. 277 00:27:18.804 --> 00:27:21.431 Damn tongue's dry. It's not mine, you know. 278 00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:24.434 Lost mine in Laos. Little commie lopped it off. 279 00:27:24.601 --> 00:27:28.771 It's probably a doorstop somewhere. Got this one from a basset hound. 280 00:27:31.692 --> 00:27:33.109 Get the car. 281 00:27:34.445 --> 00:27:35.987 President Benson. 282 00:27:37.489 --> 00:27:38.698 No, you're not. 283 00:27:38.782 --> 00:27:41.200 I've seen him. He's older, about my height. 284 00:27:41.452 --> 00:27:43.536 Sir, this is Topper Harley. 285 00:27:44.163 --> 00:27:46.622 Topper. Yes, of course. Son I never had. 286 00:27:46.832 --> 00:27:49.834 Well, no damn wonder I didn't recognize you then. 287 00:27:50.044 --> 00:27:53.338 Word of advice, don't call yourself the president. 288 00:27:53.547 --> 00:27:56.883 I wouldn't, neither should you. It doesn't hold water. 289 00:27:57.134 --> 00:28:01.304 For that matter, neither do I. Let's get away from these power cables. 290 00:28:02.639 --> 00:28:06.142 - I'd like to join the next mission. - God bless you, boy. 291 00:28:06.352 --> 00:28:07.643 This one's on the QT. 292 00:28:07.811 --> 00:28:11.314 It's called "Secret Mission to Get Walters and Our Boys Back." 293 00:28:11.523 --> 00:28:15.151 When you come back, I'm gonna throw you wonderful guys a party. 294 00:28:15.319 --> 00:28:17.820 And there should be plenty to eat. 295 00:28:18.030 --> 00:28:20.656 I doubt more than half of you will return. 296 00:28:25.704 --> 00:28:26.913 Thank you. 297 00:28:28.165 --> 00:28:30.166 Got a light, lieutenant? 298 00:28:30.334 --> 00:28:32.168 I quit smoking. 299 00:28:32.419 --> 00:28:34.670 Besides, I don't think it's allowed here. 300 00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:38.007 What are they gonna do, arrest me for smoking? 301 00:28:48.852 --> 00:28:53.689 - I know what to get you for Christmas. - A Thighmaster? I've broken three. 302 00:28:53.899 --> 00:28:54.941 Really? 303 00:28:55.192 --> 00:28:58.403 Let's go to my apartment and discuss our mission. 304 00:28:58.612 --> 00:29:00.405 I'm putty in your hands. 305 00:29:01.281 --> 00:29:03.866 In my hands, nothing turns to putty. 306 00:29:29.560 --> 00:29:30.893 Hmm. 307 00:30:09.892 --> 00:30:10.933 Hm? 308 00:30:29.077 --> 00:30:30.453 Ah. Ah. 309 00:30:51.099 --> 00:30:52.141 Oh. 310 00:32:35.829 --> 00:32:38.497 Yippee! Woo-hoo! 311 00:32:41.918 --> 00:32:44.337 Yippee-ki-yay! Woo! 312 00:32:46.423 --> 00:32:48.924 In an emotional address at the state capitol 313 00:32:49.134 --> 00:32:51.344 Nebraska Governor, Paul Burmaster, 314 00:32:51.595 --> 00:32:55.514 made a public apology for his state being so flat. 315 00:33:03.106 --> 00:33:04.690 Where are you? 316 00:33:05.817 --> 00:33:07.443 I don't know. 317 00:33:07.986 --> 00:33:09.487 What's wrong? 318 00:33:10.447 --> 00:33:12.031 My arm's asleep. 319 00:33:12.282 --> 00:33:14.283 No, something else. 320 00:33:15.327 --> 00:33:17.203 My leg too. 321 00:33:17.663 --> 00:33:19.955 Please, you can tell me. 322 00:33:21.667 --> 00:33:22.708 Well... 323 00:33:22.959 --> 00:33:24.502 Topper. 324 00:33:25.837 --> 00:33:27.630 I have to wee-wee. 325 00:33:29.341 --> 00:33:33.302 Look, I told myself last night was just going to be last night. 326 00:33:34.137 --> 00:33:39.308 I guess I just never counted on finding a guy so deep, so sensitive. 327 00:33:41.061 --> 00:33:42.895 I've fallen for you, Topper. 328 00:33:43.146 --> 00:33:45.356 I've fallen for you big time. 329 00:33:51.697 --> 00:33:54.156 There's someone else, isn't there? 330 00:33:55.033 --> 00:33:57.493 I have no idea what you mean. 331 00:33:58.537 --> 00:34:00.079 Women sense these things. 332 00:34:00.330 --> 00:34:02.248 I said there's no one. 333 00:34:04.418 --> 00:34:05.835 I'm fine. 334 00:34:06.044 --> 00:34:09.338 I know about Ramada, Topper. I read your dossier. 335 00:34:09.715 --> 00:34:11.841 She must be quite a woman. 336 00:34:13.844 --> 00:34:15.010 And what if she was? 337 00:34:16.388 --> 00:34:17.471 Was? 338 00:34:22.602 --> 00:34:26.272 Last call for Train 590 for Glendale, San Francisco and Honolulu. 339 00:34:26.523 --> 00:34:30.025 Board! Board! 340 00:34:33.739 --> 00:34:36.449 I told you. Warned you twice. 341 00:34:42.080 --> 00:34:43.539 Harley. 342 00:34:44.249 --> 00:34:46.459 - Topper Harley. - Right here. 343 00:34:58.638 --> 00:35:01.140 I cannot go with you or ever see you again. 344 00:35:02.100 --> 00:35:03.976 Just believe that I love you. 345 00:35:04.227 --> 00:35:05.895 You must be brave, my darling. 346 00:35:06.146 --> 00:35:08.981 This card is printed on recycled paper. 347 00:35:41.306 --> 00:35:44.266 Sergeant pick that up. Someone could trip over it. 348 00:35:54.110 --> 00:35:56.362 Which one of you is Michelle Huddleston? 349 00:35:57.322 --> 00:35:58.823 She is. 350 00:35:59.282 --> 00:36:02.284 I'm glad you're here. The hostages are being moved. 351 00:36:02.452 --> 00:36:04.787 I'm Commander Armin Harbinger. I'm in charge. 352 00:36:04.955 --> 00:36:07.122 Sorry, commander. Presidential orders. 353 00:36:07.332 --> 00:36:08.874 We're in charge now. 354 00:36:10.544 --> 00:36:12.044 - Any questions? - No, ma'am. 355 00:36:15.298 --> 00:36:18.133 Harley, I've been there. 356 00:36:18.343 --> 00:36:21.637 I've seen the enemy. If you're not ready, you won't make it. 357 00:36:21.805 --> 00:36:23.722 I've fired a couple of guns. 358 00:36:25.141 --> 00:36:27.685 I'll assemble the men, with your permission. 359 00:36:33.066 --> 00:36:37.570 Gentlemen, Ms. Huddleston, CIA, and Lieutenant Topper Harley. 360 00:36:37.821 --> 00:36:39.405 We're working for them. 361 00:36:39.656 --> 00:36:43.659 Williams, com sync pac ram set MOS 92-H tact op spec patty-wack. 362 00:36:44.327 --> 00:36:46.328 - Patty-wack? - Give a dog a bone, sir. 363 00:36:46.872 --> 00:36:48.163 Of course. 364 00:36:48.331 --> 00:36:51.917 Rabinowitz, demolition. Can't wait to blow something up for you. 365 00:36:52.168 --> 00:36:53.836 I look forward to it. 366 00:36:54.379 --> 00:36:58.507 Commander Harbinger advised me we have 11 hours to free the prisoners. 367 00:36:58.717 --> 00:37:00.926 After that, we may lose them forever. 368 00:37:02.429 --> 00:37:04.680 This is the prison camp area. 369 00:37:04.890 --> 00:37:08.851 It's heavily guarded, but they won't expect an attack from the jungle. 370 00:37:09.060 --> 00:37:13.188 Your contact, code name Bench Press, will lead you to the camp. 371 00:37:13.356 --> 00:37:15.608 I'll meet you at the rendezvous point. 372 00:37:15.859 --> 00:37:17.026 Good luck. 373 00:37:22.240 --> 00:37:23.699 Topper! 374 00:37:26.786 --> 00:37:29.079 I know we haven't had much time together 375 00:37:29.289 --> 00:37:33.709 but when you go into battle, take something of mine with you. 376 00:37:39.215 --> 00:37:40.799 Your lucky mole. 377 00:38:39.484 --> 00:38:41.819 Topper, what are you reading? 378 00:38:42.112 --> 00:38:43.445 Great Expectations. 379 00:38:43.613 --> 00:38:46.949 - Is it any good? - It's not all I hoped for. 380 00:38:48.034 --> 00:38:50.285 Know what I'm gonna do if we make it? 381 00:38:50.537 --> 00:38:55.040 I'm gonna go back to Eagle River and marry my gal, Edith Mae. 382 00:38:55.875 --> 00:38:59.628 Gonna get us a nice little place with a white picket fence. 383 00:38:59.879 --> 00:39:01.296 You know the kind. 384 00:39:01.798 --> 00:39:03.465 Two-car garage. 385 00:39:03.675 --> 00:39:05.884 Maybe a fishing boat. 386 00:39:06.136 --> 00:39:09.013 And in 15 years, when they're all paid for, 387 00:39:09.222 --> 00:39:12.558 I'll set my charges and blow the shit out of them. 388 00:39:15.020 --> 00:39:16.729 You got a girl, Topper? 389 00:39:20.567 --> 00:39:23.819 Penny to Sky King, no parents in sight. Party is on. 390 00:39:24.988 --> 00:39:26.405 Green, green, green... 391 00:39:26.656 --> 00:39:27.990 Hook up. 392 00:39:35.248 --> 00:39:40.085 Geronimo! 393 00:39:42.380 --> 00:39:44.048 Me! 394 00:39:55.185 --> 00:39:56.226 Ahh. 395 00:40:33.223 --> 00:40:34.723 Thanks, brothers. 396 00:41:36.870 --> 00:41:38.328 Jeez! 397 00:41:51.467 --> 00:41:52.968 Stop it! 398 00:41:59.392 --> 00:42:01.643 - Ramada. - Topper. 399 00:42:01.853 --> 00:42:05.314 - What are you doing here? - This is Bench Press, our contact. 400 00:42:05.523 --> 00:42:07.566 - I didn't know. - You know each other? 401 00:42:07.817 --> 00:42:10.027 Yes. Yes, we do. 402 00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:12.154 It's been a long time. 403 00:42:12.989 --> 00:42:16.325 - Let's see, the last time we met... - Was The Flurvian Sea. 404 00:42:17.577 --> 00:42:19.995 - You remember? - I remember every detail. 405 00:42:20.163 --> 00:42:24.917 The sky was blue. You wore gray. I was in chiffon. 406 00:42:25.168 --> 00:42:28.003 Topper, there's so much to say. 407 00:42:28.171 --> 00:42:30.214 You're as pretty as when you dumped me. 408 00:42:30.423 --> 00:42:32.174 You've changed. 409 00:42:35.094 --> 00:42:36.929 That beauty mark. 410 00:42:39.515 --> 00:42:42.559 It was a... It's a gift. 411 00:42:43.186 --> 00:42:45.854 Very touching, but it's no time to reminisce. 412 00:42:46.064 --> 00:42:50.067 We must be at the rendezvous point in seven hours or we miss our pickup. 413 00:42:50.360 --> 00:42:52.194 It's your show, hero. 414 00:42:54.072 --> 00:42:55.364 Let's move out. 415 00:42:56.699 --> 00:42:58.408 Follow me. 416 00:43:07.877 --> 00:43:10.921 We're late. I know a shortcut. 417 00:43:16.886 --> 00:43:18.887 - The meat's smoking. - Shut up. 418 00:43:19.055 --> 00:43:21.932 - Let's take it off the grill. - Leave me alone. 419 00:43:22.141 --> 00:43:24.935 - Frank, you're drunk again. - Whose fault is that? 420 00:43:30.066 --> 00:43:32.818 This is the best way to the prison compound. 421 00:43:33.069 --> 00:43:35.779 They see many boats, so they won't be suspicious. 422 00:43:35.989 --> 00:43:38.448 There are clothes in the wheelhouse. 423 00:43:40.118 --> 00:43:43.912 Somebody once wrote, "Hell is the impossibility of reason." 424 00:43:44.664 --> 00:43:47.916 That's what this place feels like. Hell. 425 00:43:48.084 --> 00:43:50.961 I hate it already, and it's only been a few hours. 426 00:43:51.170 --> 00:43:53.463 I'm so tired. We get up at 5:00... 427 00:43:53.673 --> 00:43:56.758 At first I thought they'd handed me the wrong dossier. 428 00:43:56.926 --> 00:43:59.303 I couldn't believe they wanted him dead. 429 00:43:59.512 --> 00:44:02.431 Third generation West Point. Top of his class. 430 00:44:02.640 --> 00:44:04.308 Korea, Airborne, 431 00:44:04.517 --> 00:44:08.478 about a thousand decorations, et cetera, et cetera. 432 00:44:11.274 --> 00:44:13.775 I loved you in Wall Street! 433 00:44:29.625 --> 00:44:34.004 An enemy control boat has changed course and is heading for our people. 434 00:44:34.213 --> 00:44:35.630 Send the alert. 435 00:44:37.467 --> 00:44:39.801 Hello, Lucky. Report my signal. 436 00:44:39.969 --> 00:44:41.511 Report my signal. Over. 437 00:44:41.721 --> 00:44:44.639 Hello, George Mike Walters. Strength three. Over. 438 00:44:44.807 --> 00:44:48.810 Recon reports Indians on the warpath in your area. Over. 439 00:44:49.020 --> 00:44:50.354 No Indians here. Over. 440 00:44:50.980 --> 00:44:54.149 Do not take literally. Repeat. Do not take literally. 441 00:44:54.359 --> 00:44:57.027 The vultures are circling the carcass. Repeat. 442 00:44:57.236 --> 00:44:59.738 The vultures are circling the carcass. 443 00:44:59.989 --> 00:45:01.823 I see a couple of gulls, but... 444 00:45:01.991 --> 00:45:05.160 Pit bull's out of the cage. Crips are raiding the store. 445 00:45:06.996 --> 00:45:08.580 Hey, you yanking my crank? 446 00:45:21.260 --> 00:45:24.429 They see a woman, they will know we are masquerading. 447 00:45:24.680 --> 00:45:27.224 Only men are allowed to do the fishing. 448 00:45:32.397 --> 00:45:34.022 Topper. 449 00:45:34.357 --> 00:45:36.525 Why did you have to come here now? 450 00:45:36.943 --> 00:45:39.694 Of all the missions in all the jungles... 451 00:45:39.904 --> 00:45:43.031 ...you had to walk into this one. - I tried to stay away. 452 00:45:43.241 --> 00:45:46.952 I thought I'd never see you again, that you were out of my life. 453 00:45:47.203 --> 00:45:49.204 But it's a sequel. I had to come. 454 00:45:49.372 --> 00:45:51.581 Do you know what the critics will say? 455 00:45:51.791 --> 00:45:54.918 - "Same warmed-over characters..." - Topper, stop it. 456 00:45:55.128 --> 00:45:59.047 You're only using this whole casting thing as an excuse 457 00:45:59.257 --> 00:46:00.882 to hide what's hurting you. 458 00:46:01.384 --> 00:46:04.636 Hurt? Maybe. Once. 459 00:46:05.763 --> 00:46:07.973 But I knew this day would come. 460 00:46:08.433 --> 00:46:10.642 I knew one day you'd come crawling back 461 00:46:10.893 --> 00:46:14.396 begging for forgiveness. Groveling, sniveling, 462 00:46:14.605 --> 00:46:17.149 pleading for another chance. 463 00:46:17.400 --> 00:46:22.112 Sorry, sweetheart, but this all-day sucker is down to the soggy stick. 464 00:46:22.321 --> 00:46:25.157 No, Topper, you don't understand. 465 00:46:25.992 --> 00:46:29.744 I'm married. I was married before you and I ever met. 466 00:46:30.079 --> 00:46:31.496 I'm still married today. 467 00:46:31.747 --> 00:46:33.415 - You're joking. - I'm not. 468 00:46:33.583 --> 00:46:36.418 - You've got to be. - If I was joking I would say, 469 00:46:36.627 --> 00:46:40.589 "A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?"' 470 00:46:40.798 --> 00:46:42.591 You are married. 471 00:46:42.967 --> 00:46:45.927 - Why didn't you tell me? - I thought he was dead. 472 00:46:46.137 --> 00:46:49.347 He worked for the CIA, training pilots in Germany. 473 00:46:49.599 --> 00:46:50.682 Highest security. 474 00:46:50.933 --> 00:46:53.351 They told me he died over Villenshtoben. 475 00:46:53.603 --> 00:46:55.437 The day before we were to go 476 00:46:55.646 --> 00:46:58.857 I got word he was alive, in a hospital in Berlin. 477 00:46:59.692 --> 00:47:01.359 I had to go to him. 478 00:47:01.611 --> 00:47:03.987 They ordered me not to tell anyone. 479 00:47:05.990 --> 00:47:09.284 - I know how you must feel. - You do, huh? 480 00:47:09.619 --> 00:47:12.204 You know how it feels to have your heart shot 481 00:47:12.455 --> 00:47:14.122 and tied to the hood of a car? 482 00:47:14.373 --> 00:47:16.875 To be passed like a large kidney stone? 483 00:47:17.460 --> 00:47:19.002 Ramada, 484 00:47:19.295 --> 00:47:20.670 I don't think so. 485 00:47:23.966 --> 00:47:25.550 Patrol boat! 486 00:47:30.515 --> 00:47:34.351 Remember, we're not American. These boys aren't stupid. 487 00:47:45.238 --> 00:47:46.530 Where's Harbinger? 488 00:47:46.739 --> 00:47:48.323 Shut off your engine. 489 00:47:49.700 --> 00:47:51.910 Shut off your engine. We're boarding. 490 00:48:43.713 --> 00:48:44.713 Hm. 491 00:49:07.903 --> 00:49:10.280 Kareem of Onion! Al Jarreau! 492 00:49:39.435 --> 00:49:40.935 Go on! Get out of here! 493 00:49:44.190 --> 00:49:46.316 Take that to the bank and cash it! 494 00:49:49.320 --> 00:49:50.695 Swim for shore! 495 00:49:55.785 --> 00:49:57.160 Save yourselves! 496 00:50:02.625 --> 00:50:05.293 Swim for it! I'll catch up. 497 00:50:05.795 --> 00:50:06.961 Go! 498 00:50:38.160 --> 00:50:39.828 Omar Sharif! 499 00:50:57.388 --> 00:51:01.266 Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! 500 00:51:14.572 --> 00:51:16.531 Whoa! 501 00:51:23.789 --> 00:51:24.789 Topper? 502 00:51:29.211 --> 00:51:32.589 President Benson is returning to Washington today 503 00:51:32.965 --> 00:51:35.800 to speak to the nation in what experts are calling 504 00:51:36.051 --> 00:51:39.387 the pivotal address of his political career. 505 00:51:44.935 --> 00:51:46.895 - How is the speech coming, sir? - Hm? 506 00:51:47.563 --> 00:51:49.147 Oh, I'm practicing my A's. 507 00:51:49.398 --> 00:51:51.608 - This look like an A to you? - Yes, sir. 508 00:51:51.942 --> 00:51:52.984 All right. 509 00:51:55.237 --> 00:51:56.446 What's that, Bill? 510 00:51:56.655 --> 00:51:59.908 We just received word from Michelle. Harley is missing. 511 00:52:00.117 --> 00:52:02.577 - His boat has been demolished. - Oh, damn it! 512 00:52:03.746 --> 00:52:05.747 Every time I give an order, it gets screwed up! 513 00:52:05.956 --> 00:52:08.249 Plan a reception, wrong hors d'oeuvres. 514 00:52:08.417 --> 00:52:11.336 Appoint an ambassador, he leaves the country. 515 00:52:11.587 --> 00:52:13.338 Mr. President, we need a plan. 516 00:52:13.589 --> 00:52:16.674 This may be our last chance to get the hostages out. 517 00:52:17.593 --> 00:52:18.802 All right. 518 00:52:19.094 --> 00:52:21.763 Here's where we are and here is where they are. 519 00:52:21.972 --> 00:52:24.933 - Oh, Jesus. Oh, God. - Oh, no time for prayer, Bob. 520 00:52:25.100 --> 00:52:27.769 - Here's the target area. - That's Minnesota, sir. 521 00:52:27.978 --> 00:52:30.438 Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan. 522 00:52:30.648 --> 00:52:34.484 Why go over there to fight? We can do it right here at home. 523 00:52:34.693 --> 00:52:38.446 - Sir, the enemy is over there. - Then we'll fly them over here. 524 00:52:38.614 --> 00:52:41.324 Their families too. We'll teach them to skate... 525 00:52:41.534 --> 00:52:44.786 - Do I have to think of everything? - But the hostages! 526 00:52:44.995 --> 00:52:47.789 It is imperative that you act now! 527 00:52:54.713 --> 00:52:56.130 Topper? 528 00:52:58.592 --> 00:52:59.634 Whoooaaa. 529 00:53:06.809 --> 00:53:08.476 Topper! You made it! 530 00:53:12.857 --> 00:53:15.817 That's right, Cindy, it's 23 minutes past the hour. 531 00:53:15.985 --> 00:53:20.029 And now here's the Buckinghams with Kind of a Drag. 532 00:53:26.537 --> 00:53:28.204 You're bleeding. 533 00:53:28.664 --> 00:53:30.164 I'll be all right. 534 00:53:31.041 --> 00:53:33.418 Something else bothers me a lot more. 535 00:53:34.086 --> 00:53:38.423 Harbinger, where were you when the patrol boat arrived? 536 00:53:38.841 --> 00:53:42.051 Below, sweeping the boat for bombs. What are you accusing me of? 537 00:53:42.553 --> 00:53:46.180 Nothing, yet. But I want you to know I smell a rat. 538 00:53:46.348 --> 00:53:49.267 Don't push me. Before you bagged your first babe, 539 00:53:49.518 --> 00:53:52.562 I was slitting throats for a living. 540 00:53:52.771 --> 00:53:57.859 I'm not saying I don't trust you, and I'm not saying I do. But I don't. 541 00:53:58.068 --> 00:54:00.570 Save it for the enemy. We got a job to do. 542 00:54:08.704 --> 00:54:10.955 Oh, look. I'm cut too. 543 00:54:11.206 --> 00:54:12.206 Oh. 544 00:54:14.877 --> 00:54:17.712 They got me too. It's a real gusher. 545 00:54:19.757 --> 00:54:21.215 Let's get going. 546 00:54:50.955 --> 00:54:53.081 There's a guard at the gate. 547 00:54:53.457 --> 00:54:54.958 He's mine. 548 00:54:55.417 --> 00:54:56.834 Wait here. 549 00:54:58.462 --> 00:54:59.754 Topper. 550 00:55:04.259 --> 00:55:06.761 - Topper. - Jesus! 551 00:55:06.929 --> 00:55:09.597 Before we go in, you should know something. 552 00:55:09.848 --> 00:55:13.267 - What now? - Have you heard of Dexter Hayman? 553 00:55:13.477 --> 00:55:14.978 The freedom fighter? 554 00:55:15.187 --> 00:55:19.357 Yeah, he won the Nobel Prize for inventing the artificial appendix. 555 00:55:19.608 --> 00:55:23.528 Exactly. Dexter is one of the captives. 556 00:55:24.446 --> 00:55:27.115 - He's my husband. - You've got to be joking. 557 00:55:27.324 --> 00:55:29.367 If I was joking, I would say, 558 00:55:29.618 --> 00:55:32.620 "A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar..." 559 00:55:32.788 --> 00:55:34.330 Okay, he is your husband. 560 00:55:34.540 --> 00:55:37.375 Topper, I was so young, just a schoolgirl. 561 00:55:37.626 --> 00:55:40.670 He was an older man, so wise in the ways of the world. 562 00:55:41.005 --> 00:55:44.173 He used to come around the schoolyard, day after day. 563 00:55:44.383 --> 00:55:46.884 I so admired his persistence. 564 00:55:47.136 --> 00:55:51.139 Even the restraining order my parents slapped on him was no deterrent. 565 00:55:51.640 --> 00:55:56.019 He opened my eyes to the arts, music, clog-dancing, WrestleMania. 566 00:55:56.687 --> 00:55:59.230 His work has meant so much to so many. 567 00:55:59.648 --> 00:56:01.983 And I owe him everything, Topper. 568 00:56:02.234 --> 00:56:03.317 Everything. 569 00:56:03.485 --> 00:56:05.486 I'm happy for you, kid. 570 00:56:06.321 --> 00:56:09.407 But if you think you can hurt me again, you're wrong. 571 00:56:09.825 --> 00:56:12.326 I left my heart in my other pants. 572 00:57:22.064 --> 00:57:23.231 Go. 573 00:57:34.159 --> 00:57:35.201 Oy! 574 00:57:40.290 --> 00:57:41.499 Ah! 575 00:57:43.252 --> 00:57:45.128 Cock-a-doodle-doo! 576 00:59:10.505 --> 00:59:11.547 Ah! 577 00:59:27.439 --> 00:59:28.522 Mm! 578 00:59:37.658 --> 00:59:39.408 Cock-a-doodle-doo. 579 00:59:43.038 --> 00:59:44.288 The Iraqi coast. 580 00:59:44.539 --> 00:59:47.250 Oh, those bluffs look treacherous. 581 00:59:48.752 --> 00:59:50.253 Hadn't counted on that. 582 00:59:50.587 --> 00:59:55.049 But if God is on our side, we will rendezvous on Lincoln's wart by noon. 583 00:59:55.550 --> 00:59:57.134 That's it, men. 584 00:59:58.971 --> 01:00:00.471 We're going in! 585 01:00:02.891 --> 01:00:04.892 My rescue mission was underway. 586 01:00:05.102 --> 01:00:07.937 But two things kept running through my mind. 587 01:00:08.146 --> 01:00:10.147 Would we get to the men in time? 588 01:00:10.399 --> 01:00:12.900 And why did I bring helium instead of air? 589 01:00:23.662 --> 01:00:25.246 I'll go to the rear. 590 01:00:28.750 --> 01:00:30.501 Take the front door. 591 01:01:00.157 --> 01:01:02.199 The keys. 592 01:02:08.725 --> 01:02:10.393 - What? - Enough! 593 01:02:50.308 --> 01:02:51.392 I'll have a hamburger. 594 01:03:03.238 --> 01:03:04.905 - Where are the prisoners? - There. 595 01:03:05.115 --> 01:03:07.950 - Let's go! - I'll take the back gate. 596 01:03:18.253 --> 01:03:20.504 Now, that's a hell of a gun. 597 01:03:24.426 --> 01:03:27.761 - Where's Dexter Hayman? - Villa compound 405. 598 01:03:38.023 --> 01:03:41.275 Okay. I'm here. 599 01:03:41.485 --> 01:03:43.194 "Terrorist Mountain." 600 01:03:43.445 --> 01:03:46.947 "It's a Small War." "Pirates of the Persian Gulf." 601 01:03:47.157 --> 01:03:51.619 "Hostage Mover." Ah! "Dexter's Dungeon." 602 01:04:06.134 --> 01:04:08.677 Harbinger, what are you doing here? 603 01:04:09.888 --> 01:04:13.474 I was right, wasn't I? You sabotaged the other missions. 604 01:04:13.725 --> 01:04:16.393 - I find that unacceptable. - You got me wrong. 605 01:04:16.853 --> 01:04:18.145 All these years, 606 01:04:19.147 --> 01:04:21.357 fighting, and shooting and killing. 607 01:04:21.650 --> 01:04:26.737 I just... I can't go on. I... 608 01:04:27.989 --> 01:04:32.660 Hey, hey, hey, rainy face! Hey, proud warrior. 609 01:04:34.579 --> 01:04:38.707 Let the sun come out, you big bad G.I. Joe. 610 01:04:40.168 --> 01:04:44.213 You know, kitten, we all have permission to make mistakes. 611 01:04:45.507 --> 01:04:46.590 It's called "learning." 612 01:04:49.261 --> 01:04:53.055 You give your Uncle Topper 613 01:04:53.515 --> 01:04:55.349 a nice big blow. 614 01:05:18.123 --> 01:05:19.373 I'm done. 615 01:05:23.378 --> 01:05:24.962 Thattaboy. 616 01:05:35.265 --> 01:05:36.724 Thanks. I can kill again. 617 01:05:36.933 --> 01:05:39.226 - You've given me a reason to live. - Good. 618 01:05:39.436 --> 01:05:42.563 Head for the gate. Plenty of bad guys to shoot on the way. 619 01:05:52.657 --> 01:05:57.328 Keeps going, and going, and going, and going. 620 01:05:57.579 --> 01:05:58.996 Nothing outlasts the... 621 01:05:59.623 --> 01:06:00.664 Oh! 622 01:06:02.083 --> 01:06:03.334 Yes! 623 01:06:56.471 --> 01:06:58.389 There's a copter pad half a mile away. 624 01:06:58.640 --> 01:07:02.267 - That's our ticket out. - We can't leave. Not without Dexter. 625 01:07:04.312 --> 01:07:05.562 Topper! Watch out! 626 01:07:40.682 --> 01:07:44.184 For a moment there, I thought you were... 627 01:07:44.394 --> 01:07:45.728 Gabriella Sabatini? 628 01:07:47.063 --> 01:07:51.024 I get that all the time. It must be the nose. 629 01:07:51.317 --> 01:07:53.652 Ironically, I haven't picked up a racket in years. 630 01:07:54.946 --> 01:07:56.280 You saved my life. 631 01:07:56.489 --> 01:08:01.452 Topper, no matter what happens, I want you to know that 632 01:08:02.537 --> 01:08:04.496 I never stopped loving you. 633 01:08:06.791 --> 01:08:08.041 Let's move out! 634 01:08:09.669 --> 01:08:11.920 You know how to get to the copter pad. 635 01:08:12.172 --> 01:08:13.881 If I'm not there in 15, you know what to do. 636 01:08:14.132 --> 01:08:18.343 - We get the hell out of here. - No! Wait another 15 minutes. 637 01:08:19.679 --> 01:08:22.097 We could hear gunfire from the compound. 638 01:08:22.307 --> 01:08:25.142 From out of nowhere, a patrol boat appeared. 639 01:08:26.144 --> 01:08:29.188 How would we get past the soldiers on that boat? 640 01:08:29.606 --> 01:08:33.150 Then, suddenly, it happened. 641 01:08:50.251 --> 01:08:51.710 Take cover! 642 01:08:58.885 --> 01:09:00.469 Guys. 643 01:09:02.347 --> 01:09:03.597 Jeez! 644 01:09:04.599 --> 01:09:05.641 That's it, good night. 645 01:09:19.489 --> 01:09:22.574 War. It's fantastic! 646 01:10:16.629 --> 01:10:17.880 Drop the gun! 647 01:10:20.466 --> 01:10:21.884 Drop it! 648 01:10:24.596 --> 01:10:29.641 You will die, Yankee bastard man. How you say? Like a dog. 649 01:10:31.394 --> 01:10:32.644 Now march! 650 01:10:35.440 --> 01:10:36.773 March! 651 01:10:42.238 --> 01:10:45.866 I kill you where you stand, you imperialist Yankee-Doodle dork. 652 01:11:12.810 --> 01:11:14.061 Slippery rascal! 653 01:11:24.322 --> 01:11:25.822 Butcher of Baghdad. Hello? 654 01:11:29.118 --> 01:11:30.369 Well, hello. 655 01:11:30.578 --> 01:11:31.620 Who is it? Who is it? 656 01:11:32.246 --> 01:11:36.917 - Your wife, Hillary Rodham Hussein. - Jesus! I'm so stupid! 657 01:11:37.168 --> 01:11:39.086 I was supposed to pick her up. 658 01:11:39.295 --> 01:11:42.089 Tell her I'm at the gym. No, I'm out of town. 659 01:11:42.298 --> 01:11:45.092 On business. Bombing, gassing, execution. 660 01:11:45.301 --> 01:11:49.221 - Something. Make it up. - I'm sorry. Just missed him. 661 01:11:50.431 --> 01:11:52.224 I owe you one. 662 01:12:03.027 --> 01:12:05.487 Ali MacGraw! My eyes. 663 01:12:09.909 --> 01:12:13.161 You little...! I'm going to split you like a melon! 664 01:12:16.541 --> 01:12:19.209 Now I will kill you until you die from it. 665 01:12:19.460 --> 01:12:20.794 In a pig's ear. 666 01:12:23.006 --> 01:12:25.465 - Mr. President! - Suffering succotash! 667 01:12:25.717 --> 01:12:30.595 Looks like the upper hand is on the other foot, Saddam. 668 01:12:30.680 --> 01:12:31.847 Ah-ha. 669 01:12:34.100 --> 01:12:35.642 Uh-oh! 670 01:12:36.019 --> 01:12:37.019 Yes! 671 01:12:40.023 --> 01:12:41.314 My skin's made of asbestos. 672 01:12:42.025 --> 01:12:44.276 Tanning parlor accident at Dien Bien Phu. 673 01:12:44.485 --> 01:12:48.196 Go on about your business. I got a bone to settle with this guy. 674 01:12:48.448 --> 01:12:50.407 Yes, sir. I'll get Dexter. 675 01:12:50.742 --> 01:12:52.617 Let's make this a fair fight. 676 01:12:58.291 --> 01:13:00.709 I've been waiting for you, O Big One. 677 01:13:00.918 --> 01:13:04.713 We meet at last. The circle is complete. 678 01:13:04.922 --> 01:13:09.551 - Now I am the master! - Only the master of evil, Saddam. 679 01:13:11.012 --> 01:13:13.013 Your powers are... 680 01:13:18.644 --> 01:13:21.438 Your powers are weak. You shouldn't have come. 681 01:13:21.647 --> 01:13:25.108 Well, I have. We'll settle this the old Navy way. 682 01:13:25.318 --> 01:13:28.028 First guy to die, loses! 683 01:13:37.622 --> 01:13:42.751 Water. Water! Water, please. 684 01:13:44.045 --> 01:13:46.004 - It's locked. From the inside. - No! 685 01:13:46.255 --> 01:13:48.340 - Damn it! - We're gonna die! 686 01:13:48.591 --> 01:13:50.175 - Get ahold of yourself! - Blow it! 687 01:13:50.426 --> 01:13:52.803 - It's not our property. - Do it. Do it! 688 01:13:53.012 --> 01:13:55.889 Oh, Mr. Geppetto! 689 01:13:58.893 --> 01:14:02.229 Go ahead. Shoot. You'll get nothing from me. 690 01:14:02.480 --> 01:14:05.982 You are filth. I spit in the face of filth. 691 01:14:06.234 --> 01:14:09.528 - I've come to get you out of here. - You're American. 692 01:14:09.779 --> 01:14:12.697 Yes, from America. Let's go. 693 01:14:12.907 --> 01:14:16.827 My friend, I yearn for freedom as much as anyone 694 01:14:17.036 --> 01:14:19.204 but I run from no man. 695 01:14:19.413 --> 01:14:20.747 You've got to come with me. 696 01:14:21.582 --> 01:14:23.917 I can't walk. 697 01:14:25.211 --> 01:14:27.129 They've tied my shoelaces together. 698 01:14:29.382 --> 01:14:30.632 A knot. 699 01:14:33.344 --> 01:14:34.594 Bastards. 700 01:14:43.938 --> 01:14:48.108 I'm aborting the mission. Envelope is closed. We're lifting off. 701 01:14:50.486 --> 01:14:52.696 Here you go. It's $4.50. 702 01:14:54.115 --> 01:14:55.407 I didn't think you'd make it. 703 01:14:55.658 --> 01:14:57.534 Onboard. We're getting out. 704 01:14:57.785 --> 01:15:00.620 What about the others? We just can't leave them. 705 01:15:18.848 --> 01:15:23.977 Wait! I can't go any further. I need a drink. 706 01:15:30.193 --> 01:15:32.736 Okay. Right a bit. Whoa, stop there. 707 01:15:32.945 --> 01:15:38.283 Down a bit, down a bit. There. It's not very cold. Is this filtered? 708 01:15:38.618 --> 01:15:41.870 Their artillery will be down on us soon. We have to go. 709 01:15:42.079 --> 01:15:44.331 No! We'll lose Topper and Dexter. 710 01:15:44.916 --> 01:15:48.168 But that's been the idea all along, hasn't it, Michelle? 711 01:15:52.924 --> 01:15:56.426 You're looking beautiful as ever, Ramada. How did you know? 712 01:15:56.636 --> 01:15:59.888 I didn't. It all came together when I saw you here. 713 01:16:00.139 --> 01:16:02.599 I remembered your inscription in my yearbook. 714 01:16:02.850 --> 01:16:05.685 You wrote, "Remember the fun we had in class 715 01:16:05.937 --> 01:16:08.605 "and I'll fuck up your life if it's the last thing I do." 716 01:16:09.482 --> 01:16:12.984 And then I realize where I had last seen this. 717 01:16:21.202 --> 01:16:24.246 What could I have done to make you so vindictive? 718 01:16:24.830 --> 01:16:27.290 Goodness sake. You know each other. 719 01:16:27.500 --> 01:16:30.085 Oh, Ramada, how could you have been so blind? 720 01:16:30.336 --> 01:16:34.089 You were too wrapped up in being Miss Perfect College to notice me. 721 01:16:34.298 --> 01:16:38.301 Why concern yourself with the feelings of one insignificant roommate? 722 01:16:38.511 --> 01:16:43.556 One fabulous day, one incredible experience. 723 01:16:43.766 --> 01:16:45.976 I had no idea it meant so much to you. 724 01:16:46.185 --> 01:16:48.520 I remember that day as if it were yesterday. 725 01:16:48.729 --> 01:16:50.772 The exhilaration of experimenting, 726 01:16:51.023 --> 01:16:54.943 sharing something so new, so dangerous, 727 01:16:55.194 --> 01:16:58.989 - so intimate. - Go on. 728 01:16:59.240 --> 01:17:01.825 And I'll never forget the look on your face. 729 01:17:02.034 --> 01:17:04.536 The way the sweat glistened on your hard body. 730 01:17:05.288 --> 01:17:06.538 Then you tied my ankles. 731 01:17:06.747 --> 01:17:09.916 Tighter. Tighter. 732 01:17:10.167 --> 01:17:13.420 But it just wasn't right. It wasn't natural. 733 01:17:13.629 --> 01:17:16.840 Bungee-jumping is just too dangerous a sport. 734 01:17:17.049 --> 01:17:18.967 Bungee-jumping? That's it? 735 01:17:20.261 --> 01:17:23.054 How could you hurt so many innocent people? 736 01:17:23.264 --> 01:17:26.099 Oh, Ramada! It was always so easy for you. 737 01:17:26.350 --> 01:17:27.767 How could you understand? 738 01:17:29.770 --> 01:17:32.939 I had Dexter imprisoned because I wanted you to suffer 739 01:17:33.149 --> 01:17:35.942 - as much as you made me suffer. - You fool! 740 01:17:39.613 --> 01:17:42.574 When I discovered I couldn't win Topper because 741 01:17:42.783 --> 01:17:45.368 he loved you, I tried to have you killed. 742 01:17:47.204 --> 01:17:49.539 He... He still loves me. 743 01:17:52.710 --> 01:17:54.419 You turned your back on America 744 01:17:55.546 --> 01:17:58.673 because of your jealousy. You're gonna pay for this. 745 01:18:07.767 --> 01:18:09.017 Good doggy! 746 01:18:25.201 --> 01:18:26.242 Ew. 747 01:18:26.369 --> 01:18:27.994 Ah-huh! 748 01:18:30.623 --> 01:18:33.792 Aluminum siding. Ten-year guarantee. No paint needed. 749 01:19:05.574 --> 01:19:06.616 Hm. 750 01:19:27.638 --> 01:19:30.682 Do you have any idea where you're going? 751 01:19:31.725 --> 01:19:33.601 Ha! You missed! 752 01:19:33.894 --> 01:19:37.564 It'll take more than that to stop me, you devils! 753 01:19:37.773 --> 01:19:39.190 Don't jiggle me. 754 01:19:39.400 --> 01:19:43.319 Advil! Midol! Get over here! To the helicopter. 755 01:19:43.571 --> 01:19:46.531 They dicked with the wrong dictator. 756 01:19:46.907 --> 01:19:48.616 This means war! 757 01:19:51.829 --> 01:19:53.830 You better let me handle this, son. 758 01:19:55.166 --> 01:19:56.791 Ew. You're so sweaty. 759 01:19:57.042 --> 01:19:59.002 - I knew you'd make it. - It's about time. 760 01:20:02.047 --> 01:20:04.299 - Michelle. - She's our saboteur. 761 01:20:05.593 --> 01:20:07.844 Can you get me off for old times' sake? 762 01:20:08.053 --> 01:20:12.682 Sorry, precious. You sold out the greatest country in the world. 763 01:20:13.100 --> 01:20:17.187 And to think I wore your mole. Get her out of here. 764 01:20:21.984 --> 01:20:23.568 Dexter? 765 01:20:24.653 --> 01:20:25.945 Ramada. 766 01:20:30.993 --> 01:20:35.163 Oh, dear Dexter. Look what they've done to your shoelaces. 767 01:20:35.372 --> 01:20:39.959 Oh, my darling. You've no idea what I've just been through. 768 01:20:40.211 --> 01:20:43.796 But now we're together again. We have much to look forward to. 769 01:20:44.048 --> 01:20:48.176 I want to do it all. Donahue. Geraldo. 770 01:20:48.385 --> 01:20:52.263 Sally Jessy. Oh, and who's that black chick? 771 01:20:53.766 --> 01:20:56.809 - Oprah. - Yes! Yes. Her too. 772 01:21:02.274 --> 01:21:04.734 Let's go! It's getting hot here. 773 01:21:04.944 --> 01:21:06.986 I'm going back for the president. 774 01:21:07.321 --> 01:21:08.696 Topper! 775 01:21:09.740 --> 01:21:11.407 I'm staying here with you. 776 01:21:11.617 --> 01:21:14.661 Get on that helicopter with Dexter, where you belong. 777 01:21:14.912 --> 01:21:17.121 Why? I thought you loved me. 778 01:21:17.331 --> 01:21:20.083 Ramada, I do love you. I've tried to forget you 779 01:21:20.334 --> 01:21:23.461 but no matter what, your face is on the tip of my tongue. 780 01:21:23.671 --> 01:21:24.837 Then let me stay with you. 781 01:21:25.047 --> 01:21:28.341 Ramada, I want to be with you. I want to hold you. 782 01:21:28.592 --> 01:21:30.635 Meet your parents and pet your dog. 783 01:21:30.844 --> 01:21:33.346 My parents are dead. My dog ate them. 784 01:21:33.973 --> 01:21:37.934 I'm sorry. We both know you belong with Dexter. 785 01:21:38.185 --> 01:21:41.062 You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. 786 01:21:41.313 --> 01:21:45.608 I'm not being noble, but do you have any idea what'd happen if you stay? 787 01:21:45.859 --> 01:21:47.110 Of course I do. 788 01:21:47.319 --> 01:21:51.656 Sex. Wild, free, passionate, unbridled sex. 789 01:21:51.907 --> 01:21:54.409 I'd fondle you in ways you can't imagine. 790 01:21:54.618 --> 01:21:58.371 I would pleasure you at any time, in any place, in any way, 791 01:21:58.622 --> 01:22:01.082 for as long as you could possibly desire. 792 01:22:09.383 --> 01:22:12.218 You better get going. You'll miss your takeoff. 793 01:22:15.097 --> 01:22:18.766 Goodbye, Topper. God bless you. 794 01:22:19.018 --> 01:22:21.603 Wait, let me get a shot of you two. 795 01:22:21.854 --> 01:22:25.231 It'll be great for the talk shows. Let's frame this up. 796 01:22:25.482 --> 01:22:29.319 Closer together. Come on. Don't be shy. 797 01:22:29.528 --> 01:22:30.695 Put your arm around her. 798 01:22:31.447 --> 01:22:33.823 I've almost got it. This is a great shot. 799 01:22:34.033 --> 01:22:36.284 My God, you're gonna love this! 800 01:22:36.910 --> 01:22:41.205 You know, under other circumstances, you'd make a great couple. 801 01:22:41.957 --> 01:22:44.959 Oh, well. Say che... 802 01:22:45.544 --> 01:22:48.296 You're moving too much. Quit spinning! 803 01:22:48.505 --> 01:22:50.173 This'll make me rich and f... 804 01:22:51.592 --> 01:22:55.303 - He really was a wiener! - Don't get me started. 805 01:22:55.554 --> 01:22:58.598 Hold it there! Hold it! 806 01:22:59.683 --> 01:23:02.185 This buggy going to America? 807 01:23:02.394 --> 01:23:04.020 I was afraid we'd lost you! 808 01:23:04.229 --> 01:23:05.647 Lost? Not a chance. 809 01:23:05.856 --> 01:23:07.940 Shove over! I get the window seat. 810 01:23:15.449 --> 01:23:18.576 - They're in my sights. - Just a second! This is personal. 811 01:23:22.790 --> 01:23:25.083 We're too heavy. We need to lose weight. 812 01:28:23.048 --> 01:28:25.633 Hot Shots! Part Deux was filmed in Hollywood 813 01:28:25.842 --> 01:28:27.885 in front of a live studio audience.