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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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Once upon a time,
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00:00:45,251 --> 00:00:48,834
in the far away magical land
of South London,
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in a simple age,
when a cock belonged to a man
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00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:53,626
and a cunt was married to a woman
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00:00:53,709 --> 00:00:56,834
that sat in the pub all day
talking absolute bollocks,
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00:00:56,917 --> 00:00:59,126
there was a little boy called Jack.
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00:01:01,001 --> 00:01:03,667
The very first word
Jack ever spoke was...
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C-C-Cocaine.
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00:01:05,709 --> 00:01:06,834
An ambitious child,
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00:01:06,917 --> 00:01:09,459
Jack already knew
what he wanted out of life.
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What would you like to do
when you grow up, David?
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Put a stop to world famine, sir
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What about you, Sarah?
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00:01:14,876 --> 00:01:16,501
Invent something amazing, sir
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- What about you, Jack?
- Drugs, sir And fuck Sarah.
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Jack knew that being academic
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was about as useful
as a dildo in a nunnery.
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Round the flats, a different
type of education mattered.
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Fuck you staring at, you Jils?
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00:01:32,209 --> 00:01:34,126
This was Jack's university.
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Happily, he graduated
with venereal disease
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and a criminal record.
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00:01:38,501 --> 00:01:42,292
And it was here he met Dani,
the love of his life.
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00:01:43,292 --> 00:01:46,876
Jack and Dani, you've got to
admit, it's got a ring to it.
27
00:01:47,292 --> 00:01:49,584
Their love burned so brightly
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00:01:49,667 --> 00:01:52,167
that Dani even gave up
on her dream of art college
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00:01:52,251 --> 00:01:55,209
and settled into a life of domestic bliss.
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00:01:55,292 --> 00:01:58,917
She laid down her paint brush
and picked up the laundry.
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00:01:59,001 --> 00:02:01,792
And on the day their son JJ
was conceived,
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00:02:01,876 --> 00:02:05,876
Dani scored over 100,000
on some generic mobile game
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00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,959
while Jack smashed her back doors in.
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00:02:09,042 --> 00:02:11,959
For a while, they were just
like any other normal family,
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00:02:12,042 --> 00:02:15,042
but Jack had one little niggling problem.
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00:02:15,126 --> 00:02:18,084
For 60 quid, you can buy
an electric kettle from Argos,
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00:02:18,167 --> 00:02:20,376
or a day-glo collar for an XL bully.
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00:02:20,459 --> 00:02:23,542
But for 50 quid,
you can buy a gram of cocaine.
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00:02:23,626 --> 00:02:25,001
He loved his wife and son,
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00:02:25,084 --> 00:02:28,417
but being a dickie-sniffing
cunt was way more fun.
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00:02:28,501 --> 00:02:30,792
While most men
took their sons to football,
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00:02:30,876 --> 00:02:33,917
ate Ginsters pies and
reminisced about Coldplay gigs,
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00:02:34,001 --> 00:02:35,792
Jack slipped off with his old muckers,
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Vinny, Roger and Deano,
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00:02:37,376 --> 00:02:39,459
where they sniffed
phenomenal amounts of cocaine
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00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:42,417
and enjoyed their favourite
pastime, fighting.
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00:02:42,501 --> 00:02:44,751
Come on then,
you fucking two-bob cunts,
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I'll do the lot of ya
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00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,709
But what became of poor Jack?
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00:02:49,792 --> 00:02:52,834
After years of sniffing dickie
and casual violence,
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00:02:52,917 --> 00:02:54,209
with the morals of a pikey,
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00:02:54,292 --> 00:02:55,667
surely he would redeem himself
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and find his true place in society?
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Let's do this bunch of cunts
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Come on!
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00:03:35,209 --> 00:03:36,501
Oi!
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00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,542
I thought you fucking died on us.
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00:03:38,626 --> 00:03:39,946
Vinny's wife threw him out
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00:03:40,001 --> 00:03:42,417
when she caught him with a
Brazilian tranny in Whitstable.
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00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:44,959
He only sees his kids
through a contact centre,
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00:03:45,042 --> 00:03:47,084
but he's too ashamed
to admit it, so he lies
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00:03:47,167 --> 00:03:50,209
and says the missus has
taken them to Center Parcs.
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00:03:50,292 --> 00:03:52,126
Here you are You've been
fuckin' spark out
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00:03:52,209 --> 00:03:53,459
since we left London.
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00:03:54,126 --> 00:03:55,834
Deano got his first bit of bird
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00:03:55,917 --> 00:03:57,459
when off his nut on ketamine.
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He stole a thousand pairs
of Loro Piana mittens
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00:04:00,459 --> 00:04:03,292
and tried to sell them at
the local thalidomide centre.
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00:04:04,417 --> 00:04:06,001
Liven yourself up, silly bollocks,
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00:04:06,084 --> 00:04:07,626
we're nearly in Grimsby.
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00:04:07,709 --> 00:04:09,126
Maybe not the brightest,
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00:04:09,209 --> 00:04:11,251
Roger thought Canvey Island
was in the Bahamas,
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00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,042
and was blown away by EasyJet.
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00:04:13,126 --> 00:04:15,459
He once flew to Helsinki,
then come straight home
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00:04:15,542 --> 00:04:17,417
just to experience speedy boarding.
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00:04:29,626 --> 00:04:33,459
That's better I feel brand new.
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00:04:33,542 --> 00:04:36,876
If you wanna avoid wannabe cunts
in snide Moncler jackets
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00:04:36,959 --> 00:04:38,834
that fancy themselves as football thugs,
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00:04:38,917 --> 00:04:40,459
over-policed stadiums,
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00:04:40,542 --> 00:04:43,126
and tickets that cost
more than a gram of dickie
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00:04:44,626 --> 00:04:46,167
then the lower leagues are for you.
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00:04:46,251 --> 00:04:49,459
But be warned, this sport
is only for the truly committed
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00:04:51,501 --> 00:04:53,251
Fuck me, they're mob-handed
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00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,376
Come on! Come on!
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00:05:02,459 --> 00:05:04,626
No one run Stay
together Let's do these cunts.
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Do not run
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00:05:16,251 --> 00:05:18,834
Here we go! Come on, Grimsby
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00:05:23,376 --> 00:05:25,501
Well,
we are in for a treat today.
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00:05:25,584 --> 00:05:28,584
Two great firms, bitter rivals
and sworn enemies
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meeting in the bombed-out
streets of Grimsby.
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And as the firms advance
towards each other,
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it's great to see Grimsby
with such a tidy looking mob.
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These flash Cockney wankers
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00:05:37,792 --> 00:05:39,334
won't know what's fucking hit them.
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00:05:39,417 --> 00:05:41,459
Oh, that's a lovely effort from Grimsby.
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00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,501
Deano's gone over like a granny on ice.
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00:05:43,584 --> 00:05:47,167
Doesn't look like VAR will be
needed in this instance.
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00:05:47,251 --> 00:05:49,417
Oh, that's terrific from Roger the Dodger.
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00:05:49,501 --> 00:05:51,792
Right round the fucking
cannister with a beer bottle.
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00:05:51,876 --> 00:05:53,876
That will require a few
stitches, I'd imagine.
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00:05:55,042 --> 00:05:57,501
Oh, that's a shocking display
from the mouthy cunt Vinny
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00:05:57,584 --> 00:05:59,084
in the CP duffle coat.
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00:05:59,167 --> 00:06:02,417
Since when was pepper spray
in the fair-play rule book?
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00:06:02,501 --> 00:06:05,209
Stone the crows, he's only going again.
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00:06:06,792 --> 00:06:09,834
Jesus, these Cock-er-neys
are really ruthless cunts.
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00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:13,751
What a screamer from Jack Jones!
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00:06:13,834 --> 00:06:15,584
That's worth a look from another angle.
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00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,584
And there it is, a peach of a shot.
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00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,334
Despite the fact he's losing his hair,
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00:06:21,417 --> 00:06:22,834
and got erectile dysfunction.
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00:06:23,251 --> 00:06:25,751
Oh, my word! He's only
gone and nutted the cunt.
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And that's what I call entertainment
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It's all fun and games
The sheer indulgence of it.
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The drinking and eating
and fighting and fucking.
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Until one day, you wake up and realise
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you've done nothing with your life.
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Everything you ever had,
all your hopes and dreams
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have come to absolutely fuck all
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Fighting at football
Possession of cocaine.
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At your age?
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Don't you feel
the slightest bit embarrassed?
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Dreadfully embarrassed, mate.
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00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,501
Your Honour - Your Honour.
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I swear, if he don't send me to prison,
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I'll give him a blow job.
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I'm gonna give you a chance, Jones
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I take that back Nose job.
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But you need to prove to me
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why I shouldn't give you
a custodial sentence,
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and you need to convince me
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your liberty is worth fighting for.
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You'll be bound over for six weeks.
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00:08:04,001 --> 00:08:08,251
Now, you stated the reason
for your violent activity
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00:08:08,334 --> 00:08:11,751
and drug use is financial
and marital difficulties.
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Well, I'm gonna make it
a legal requirement
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that you attend couples therapy.
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As well as finding yourself
some gainful employment.
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Your freedom rests in your ability
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to pull yourself together
over the next six weeks.
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Your probation officer will report to me.
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Mess him around, and it's prison for you.
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Do we understand each other?
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Yes.
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Stage fright?
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00:08:48,334 --> 00:08:49,667
You mean you're dyslexic?
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No biggie Just ask.
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Ta.
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I'll help you, if you help me.
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00:09:01,626 --> 00:09:02,959
I'm gonna try - Good
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- I'm gonna try.
- It's worth taking it seriously
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00:09:05,251 --> 00:09:07,584
cos life only pities the young.
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It isn't so kind to middle-aged fuck-ups.
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So what's your relationship
with drugs like?
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Stronger than my marriage.
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How often do you do it?
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00:09:22,376 --> 00:09:24,376
I get the odd wank at Christmas
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I meant drugs.
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Oh
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We're still in love.
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00:09:29,876 --> 00:09:31,459
You think it's a joke?
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00:09:31,542 --> 00:09:34,584
A box-ticking exercise?
You're 45 years old.
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You haven't got time to spend
the next five years inside.
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You think your wife will wait for you?
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I wouldn't bet on it.
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You've got six weeks
to turn your life around.
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00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:48,876
Now, do you wanna know
how probation works?
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00:09:55,292 --> 00:09:58,417
You lucky cunt! I thought you
was getting five Sweet?
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I was planning on having a trade
with your missus.
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00:10:00,584 --> 00:10:01,704
Fuck off - How you wound up
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00:10:01,751 --> 00:10:03,626
getting bound over's beyond me
What a touch.
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00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:05,309
- I'll get 'em in Deano?
- Lager.
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00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:06,417
- Rog?
- Lager, Vin
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00:10:06,501 --> 00:10:07,834
Jackie boy?
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00:10:07,917 --> 00:10:09,876
I'll just have a pear juice, I think
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00:10:11,584 --> 00:10:14,042
No, you won't You'll have
a fucking lager, you weirdo
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00:10:16,042 --> 00:10:17,584
What's he say then, your PO?
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00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:20,126
I gotta go therapy - What for?
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00:10:20,209 --> 00:10:22,834
Brush up on my driving skills.
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00:10:22,917 --> 00:10:24,376
Have a go on that.
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00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:29,042
Fucking get on with it then - Give us it.
181
00:10:36,626 --> 00:10:38,626
You know you loved
each other once.
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00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:41,126
There was a time when she
laughed at eve hing you said,
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00:10:41,209 --> 00:10:43,126
no matter how fucking stupid.
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00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,917
And you wore her legs
round your face like a scarf.
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00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:47,501
But that was years ago.
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00:10:47,584 --> 00:10:49,667
And eventually, even those
who love you the most
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00:10:49,751 --> 00:10:53,042
get tired of you acting
like a backwards cunt.
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00:10:53,126 --> 00:10:55,167
Well, thank God you didn't go to prison.
189
00:10:55,251 --> 00:10:57,667
Mum said she would have
run off with another man
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00:10:57,751 --> 00:11:00,292
if you went to jail, one with
money and a sense of humour.
191
00:11:00,376 --> 00:11:02,709
Too right I will,
if you don't liven yourself up.
192
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:05,084
All right, Dan? What's happening, babe?
What you having?
193
00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:07,209
It's fucking light outside, Vin
I'll have a tea.
194
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,126
Come on, babe, drop the act We're on it!
195
00:11:09,209 --> 00:11:11,251
Shouldn't you be at home
with Lucy and the kids?
196
00:11:11,334 --> 00:11:13,334
Nah, she's taken the kids
to that Center Parcs gaff
197
00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:15,876
for the weekend Anyway, fuck that!
198
00:11:15,959 --> 00:11:18,834
We're celebrating - Celebrating what?
199
00:11:18,917 --> 00:11:21,251
He's been given six weeks
to sort his fucking life out
200
00:11:22,917 --> 00:11:25,126
You're just a fucking wanker!
201
00:11:25,209 --> 00:11:27,251
You're just a fucking wanker!
202
00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:29,417
You're just a fucking wanker!
203
00:11:29,501 --> 00:11:31,459
You're just a fucking wanker!
204
00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:33,792
You're just a fucking wanker!
205
00:11:33,876 --> 00:11:35,834
You're just a fucking wanker!
206
00:11:41,209 --> 00:11:42,667
Oi, dinlo Come here.
207
00:11:44,709 --> 00:11:48,376
You scared me - I know, babe Me an' all.
208
00:11:48,459 --> 00:11:50,126
Fuck prison.
209
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:53,292
- Tell me you're done with it.
- Yeah, course I am.
210
00:11:53,376 --> 00:11:55,126
Let's go and have a roast
with your old man.
211
00:11:55,209 --> 00:11:58,917
No I said, tell me you're done with it.
212
00:11:59,001 --> 00:12:01,251
All of it The sniffing The football.
213
00:12:08,542 --> 00:12:11,751
Right Start by emptying your pockets
214
00:12:11,834 --> 00:12:14,917
What, are you Old Bill?
215
00:12:17,834 --> 00:12:20,626
- Don't you trust me?
- Take a wild guess.
216
00:12:20,709 --> 00:12:21,709
All right.
217
00:12:22,751 --> 00:12:25,001
Here you are Here you are.
218
00:12:26,834 --> 00:12:28,751
You know I won't nag you, Jack.
219
00:12:28,834 --> 00:12:30,834
But I won't suffer you either.
220
00:12:34,084 --> 00:12:35,084
If I had cocaine on me,
221
00:12:35,167 --> 00:12:37,334
it wouldn't be in me fucking pocket.
222
00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,792
What did the judge say?
223
00:12:45,876 --> 00:12:47,251
Just gotta keep me nose clean.
224
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:51,667
Was he having a fucking laugh
or what? You?
225
00:12:51,751 --> 00:12:53,167
No, but seriously though, kid,
226
00:12:53,251 --> 00:12:55,959
you've got to sort yourself out,
you know that, don't ya?
227
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:58,501
I mean, look at ya
When you married my daughter,
228
00:12:58,584 --> 00:13:00,584
you took a vow to take care of her.
229
00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:03,917
But look at you now, living
in one of my gaffs rent free,
230
00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:06,459
and my little Dani don't know
if her husband's coming home
231
00:13:06,542 --> 00:13:08,292
in the next couple of weeks.
232
00:13:08,709 --> 00:13:13,251
If she leaves you, Jack,
then so does my charity.
233
00:13:14,417 --> 00:13:16,167
And how long
234
00:13:16,251 --> 00:13:19,459
am I supposed to keep paying
for your son's education, eh?
235
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:23,542
Well, it weren't my idea
to send JJ to private school.
236
00:13:23,626 --> 00:13:28,251
He's my blood, Jack
Forgive me for caring.
237
00:13:28,334 --> 00:13:30,751
Trying to give him a leg up,
little start in life
238
00:13:30,834 --> 00:13:33,167
I know I appreciate it
239
00:13:34,626 --> 00:13:36,876
Ron, any chance you can get me
240
00:13:36,959 --> 00:13:38,292
on one of your scaffolding teams?
241
00:13:38,376 --> 00:13:39,876
Cos I've got to prove I'm working.
242
00:13:41,501 --> 00:13:43,751
That's a young man's game, that
243
00:13:43,834 --> 00:13:46,167
I've got no room for messers.
244
00:13:46,251 --> 00:13:47,959
You've got to be fit.
245
00:13:49,376 --> 00:13:50,959
I just need a job I'll do anything.
246
00:13:51,042 --> 00:13:52,167
Yeah?
247
00:13:52,251 --> 00:13:55,376
Well, start by carving this fucking bird up
248
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,084
I've got stuffing to make.
249
00:13:59,209 --> 00:14:02,167
Success didn't ruin my father-in-law.
250
00:14:02,251 --> 00:14:04,709
He's always been a cunt
251
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,376
Look, Granddad I've got a hard-on
252
00:14:40,834 --> 00:14:43,459
Babe, you can't say that at the table OK?
253
00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:49,751
I need a word Now.
254
00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:56,834
See? Private school's
doing him the world of good.
255
00:14:57,834 --> 00:15:00,167
Listen
256
00:15:00,251 --> 00:15:03,126
I might have a bit of graft for ya.
257
00:15:03,209 --> 00:15:05,959
My Kenny Boy's coming home
Needs someone to look after him.
258
00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:08,542
Me look after Kenny Boy?
259
00:15:08,626 --> 00:15:11,751
He's been in a health farm
260
00:15:12,417 --> 00:15:14,001
I've got a lot on my plate, Ron.
261
00:15:15,126 --> 00:15:17,167
He's your wife's brother, Jack.
262
00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:18,292
Half-brother.
263
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,626
What fucking difference
does it make, eh?
264
00:15:20,709 --> 00:15:23,501
You said you wanted a job, didn't ya?
265
00:15:26,251 --> 00:15:31,167
Look, I know you're struggling,
yeah? I just wanna help.
266
00:15:31,584 --> 00:15:33,292
Here's a bit of readies.
267
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,459
Take this to be getting on with.
268
00:15:38,917 --> 00:15:42,626
Do something nice Take him
to the fair or something.
269
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,334
The fair?
270
00:15:44,417 --> 00:15:46,417
He's twenty-fucking-five, Ron.
271
00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:48,042
We'll look like a pair of bacons.
272
00:15:51,959 --> 00:15:53,292
Come on.
273
00:15:55,417 --> 00:15:56,876
When's he home anyway?
274
00:15:58,042 --> 00:15:59,376
Kenny Boy was brought up
275
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,779
on a healthy diet of pornography.
276
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,959
YouTube violence, and parental neglect.
277
00:16:03,042 --> 00:16:04,751
A mentally unstable 'roid jacker
278
00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:06,167
with a vicious bowl haircut
279
00:16:06,251 --> 00:16:07,251
and a constant semi,
280
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,292
he's of the generation
that thinks choking a bird
281
00:16:09,376 --> 00:16:11,643
while smashing her back doors
in is Morse code for saying,
282
00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:13,459
"I love ya," and robbing your dad's house
283
00:16:13,542 --> 00:16:15,626
is just a way of accessing
your inheritance early.
284
00:16:15,709 --> 00:16:19,834
Pills, fight, wank, repeat
Pills, fight, wank, repeat.
285
00:16:24,209 --> 00:16:26,459
Not quite the health farm
Ron had in mind.
286
00:16:26,542 --> 00:16:28,667
He was thinking ice baths and reiki.
287
00:16:28,751 --> 00:16:30,417
This gas method is Thorazine
288
00:16:30,501 --> 00:16:32,751
and repeats of Escape to the Country.
289
00:16:32,834 --> 00:16:36,084
Still, as long as he's had his
volts, he'll be raring to go
290
00:16:37,792 --> 00:16:40,376
Kenny Boy How are you, mate?
291
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,709
Sweet, mate I never thought I'd get out.
292
00:16:43,792 --> 00:16:47,126
Gas full of Fraggles
Gotta love the NHS, though.
293
00:16:47,209 --> 00:16:49,959
Some fucking junior doctor's
charged me up like a Tesla.
294
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:51,626
What's the prognosis?
295
00:16:53,876 --> 00:16:58,334
PTSD, SAD and DPDD.
296
00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:00,292
Apart from that, I'm fine.
297
00:17:00,376 --> 00:17:03,459
Ha-ha Only joking I'm just bipolar.
298
00:17:03,542 --> 00:17:05,959
Come here, Jack, I missed ya.
299
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,251
What are you doing? Can't be healthy.
300
00:17:26,959 --> 00:17:29,167
Sweet, mate, they're organic.
301
00:17:29,251 --> 00:17:32,501
Just saying, slow down You'll go mad.
302
00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:37,834
Don't worry I'm already mad
303
00:17:40,792 --> 00:17:42,167
I'm only joking
304
00:17:45,751 --> 00:17:47,376
I feel reem
305
00:17:47,459 --> 00:17:49,417
I do need to make a pit stop, though
306
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,917
I can't, I've got to go to therapy with Dani.
307
00:17:52,001 --> 00:17:55,417
Therapy with my sister? Fucking hell.
308
00:17:55,501 --> 00:17:57,959
Everyone knows your marriage
is already fucked, mate.
309
00:17:58,042 --> 00:18:00,917
Just accept it and pull over.
310
00:18:01,542 --> 00:18:03,917
It's a fucking court order, Kenny Boy
311
00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:16,042
Sweet, mate I'll only be a minute.
312
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:24,751
He drops off the bag,
313
00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:27,792
leaving the two young gazelles
to serve up.
314
00:18:31,626 --> 00:18:34,917
At the same time,
leaving them vulnerable
315
00:18:35,001 --> 00:18:36,834
to leopard attack.
316
00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:38,917
What the fuck are you talking about?
317
00:18:43,251 --> 00:18:44,709
Crank.
318
00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:47,459
Numbed out on clozapine
and asenapine,
319
00:18:47,542 --> 00:18:50,626
Kenny Boy was about as in touch
with his feelings as the Tories,
320
00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:53,334
so he reverted to getting his kicks from
321
00:19:00,626 --> 00:19:02,542
The good thing
about robbing drug dealers,
322
00:19:02,626 --> 00:19:05,334
if you're game enough, is they
can't go crying to the police.
323
00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:07,626
The bad thing about robbing drug dealers
324
00:19:07,709 --> 00:19:08,959
is they'll do anything,
325
00:19:09,042 --> 00:19:11,334
and I mean fucking anything,
to save face.
326
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,876
Don't say I didn't warn you, Kenny Boy.
327
00:19:32,751 --> 00:19:35,667
I'd be happy for you to take
the session for yourself, Dani.
328
00:19:35,751 --> 00:19:37,209
No, I don't want to sit here
329
00:19:37,292 --> 00:19:39,917
moaning about that prick for an hour.
330
00:19:40,001 --> 00:19:41,167
Why not?
331
00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:51,626
You know what spins my nut?
332
00:19:51,709 --> 00:19:54,209
He had so much fucking potential
333
00:19:56,542 --> 00:19:58,292
What about you?
334
00:20:08,334 --> 00:20:09,417
It's OK.
335
00:20:10,917 --> 00:20:14,209
You don't need to tell me
anything if you're not ready.
336
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,959
I wanted to go to art college.
337
00:20:20,042 --> 00:20:21,417
He said I could draw about as well
338
00:20:21,501 --> 00:20:23,334
as Stephen Hawking, cheeky cunt.
339
00:20:25,459 --> 00:20:27,501
Have you ever thought
about trying again?
340
00:20:27,584 --> 00:20:28,959
Art college, I mean?
341
00:20:30,292 --> 00:20:33,334
I wonder how that might feel,
to do something for yourself.
342
00:20:36,042 --> 00:20:37,834
Just something to consider.
343
00:20:40,584 --> 00:20:43,792
Have probation suggested
couples workshops?
344
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:47,584
I'd imagine he'd rather give
his cocaine to the homeless.
345
00:20:47,667 --> 00:20:50,626
Well, they can be really transformative.
346
00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:53,209
And remember, if he doesn't attend,
347
00:20:53,292 --> 00:20:55,084
the court will hear about it.
348
00:20:56,417 --> 00:20:59,501
He's a wanker, but he's trying
349
00:21:12,751 --> 00:21:15,084
Oh, Komodo dragon, my favourite.
350
00:21:15,167 --> 00:21:16,626
Here, have that, you pair of cunts
351
00:21:18,126 --> 00:21:19,209
Have your Komodo dragon.
352
00:21:19,292 --> 00:21:20,876
Here you are, here's four giraffes.
353
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:27,001
Health farm did him a lot of good, then!
354
00:21:27,084 --> 00:21:29,167
He's fucking doolally, Rog
355
00:21:29,251 --> 00:21:31,709
I gotta make sure he stays out of trouble.
356
00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:34,251
Funny place to bring him, Jack.
357
00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:36,626
Everyone's washed their hands
of him Poor kid.
358
00:21:36,709 --> 00:21:38,376
This way, I can keep my eye on him.
359
00:21:38,459 --> 00:21:40,917
Ain't you supposed to be
going to therapy?
360
00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:42,376
I'm sweet, mate
361
00:21:42,459 --> 00:21:45,209
I've not had a booze or a sniff in a week.
362
00:21:46,251 --> 00:21:47,751
Proud of you, mush.
363
00:21:51,001 --> 00:21:52,459
Fuck are you staring at?
364
00:21:52,542 --> 00:21:54,501
I'm watching your back, you little mug.
365
00:21:54,584 --> 00:21:57,626
You look like a bacon lurking
outside a primary school
366
00:21:59,667 --> 00:22:01,626
Fucking bacon!
367
00:22:01,709 --> 00:22:03,459
Pipe down, you.
368
00:22:03,834 --> 00:22:07,042
Right, I'm going khazi Come out the way.
369
00:22:12,417 --> 00:22:15,126
- How much are you buying?
- Hold tight
370
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:17,292
I'm not sure that's a good idea, Ken.
371
00:22:17,376 --> 00:22:20,042
Oh, fuck him, he's a fucking
boring cunt anyway.
372
00:22:20,792 --> 00:22:22,834
Fuck him, he's a Jils anyway.
373
00:22:23,792 --> 00:22:27,167
I know I know I shouldn't be here.
374
00:22:27,251 --> 00:22:29,959
But at least my mates have got my back.
375
00:22:45,709 --> 00:22:47,626
How, uh, how are you getting on
with the missus?
376
00:22:47,709 --> 00:22:49,709
She's doing my fucking swede, mate
377
00:22:49,792 --> 00:22:52,126
I told her, "Take the kids to
Center Parcs for the weekend,
378
00:22:52,209 --> 00:22:54,042
I'm going Tranmere"
She goes, "Tranmere?"
379
00:22:54,126 --> 00:22:56,584
"Sounds like a fucking
highly flammable fabric"
380
00:22:58,376 --> 00:23:00,542
I said, "I couldn't give
a fuck, love I'm out".
381
00:23:00,626 --> 00:23:03,876
And when I say out, I mean out out.
382
00:23:03,959 --> 00:23:06,292
She goes, "What about
the kids' bedtime story?"
383
00:23:06,376 --> 00:23:08,751
I goes, "It'll be a good morning
story if I'm lucky"
384
00:23:08,834 --> 00:23:10,334
"I'm gonna get fucking spangled."
385
00:23:10,417 --> 00:23:12,376
You all right, Jack?
386
00:23:12,459 --> 00:23:14,376
You look like you've got the horrors.
387
00:23:15,084 --> 00:23:18,084
Naughty bit of orange juice,
this, Ken Cunt.
388
00:23:21,709 --> 00:23:24,584
Tranmere,
the only place in the UK
389
00:23:24,667 --> 00:23:27,209
that still looks like an Eastern
Bloc country from the '80s.
390
00:23:27,292 --> 00:23:31,376
The poorer cousins of Liverpool,
if you can imagine such a place.
391
00:23:31,459 --> 00:23:33,751
Population of around 200,000,
392
00:23:33,834 --> 00:23:36,792
most of them on smack
or mobility scooters.
393
00:23:37,376 --> 00:23:39,626
But still, they got a good firm,
394
00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:41,209
as Vinny is about to find out.
395
00:23:42,001 --> 00:23:43,584
You can pretend that we don't exist,
396
00:23:43,667 --> 00:23:45,542
put us in England's bin of undesirables,
397
00:23:45,626 --> 00:23:47,876
but like a fatal car crash,
you can't help but watch us
398
00:23:47,959 --> 00:23:49,459
from the safety of your own vehicles.
399
00:23:49,542 --> 00:23:51,209
Get on that.
400
00:23:54,584 --> 00:23:55,834
Vin!
401
00:23:59,626 --> 00:24:01,126
Come on then - Come on then!
402
00:24:01,209 --> 00:24:03,917
You fucking want it or what?
403
00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:23,126
Get these fuckers! Come on!
404
00:24:46,459 --> 00:24:48,917
I'm going to fucking kill you, you cock!
405
00:24:49,001 --> 00:24:50,667
You are fucking dead!
406
00:24:51,126 --> 00:24:52,542
Fucking mad
407
00:24:59,376 --> 00:25:02,042
Welcome to London Bathrooms.
408
00:25:02,126 --> 00:25:06,334
Please ensure you keep
the premises clean at all times.
409
00:25:06,417 --> 00:25:08,084
And most importantly,
410
00:25:08,167 --> 00:25:09,834
enjoy your stay.
411
00:25:09,917 --> 00:25:12,001
Enjoy your stay?
412
00:25:13,042 --> 00:25:15,667
This gas barely fit
for homeless smackheads.
413
00:25:16,959 --> 00:25:19,167
Jack Sniff that dickie
414
00:25:19,251 --> 00:25:21,876
and there's no telling where you'll land.
415
00:25:21,959 --> 00:25:25,042
Don't worry I know what I'm doing.
416
00:25:25,751 --> 00:25:28,084
Do you really?
417
00:25:28,167 --> 00:25:31,626
Open this can of worms
and you may never come back.
418
00:25:31,709 --> 00:25:35,167
Listen, love, I'm sweet - Are you?
419
00:25:35,251 --> 00:25:37,501
Mid-40s with a belly hanging
over your jeans,
420
00:25:37,584 --> 00:25:41,459
a tiny cock and six weeks
to sort your life out?
421
00:25:41,542 --> 00:25:45,542
Yeah? At least I'm not the one
stuck in a fucking toilet.
422
00:25:46,417 --> 00:25:49,042
Aren't you?
423
00:25:52,542 --> 00:25:53,709
Yeah, all right.
424
00:25:54,959 --> 00:25:57,459
Things ain't going too well
for me at the moment.
425
00:25:57,542 --> 00:25:58,959
Me neither.
426
00:25:59,459 --> 00:26:01,292
I used to have something about me
427
00:26:01,376 --> 00:26:04,751
I used to work in the lift
at the Hilton, Park Lane.
428
00:26:05,542 --> 00:26:07,709
I'm just a stain on society.
429
00:26:07,792 --> 00:26:10,376
No one wants my type around anymore.
430
00:26:11,042 --> 00:26:12,834
My optics are all wrong.
431
00:26:14,334 --> 00:26:16,501
And no one will care if I'm gone.
432
00:26:19,042 --> 00:26:21,292
Fuck it You're probably right
433
00:26:21,376 --> 00:26:25,334
I mean, look at the state
of you, you two-bob cunt
434
00:26:38,584 --> 00:26:40,126
Do you think he's OK?
435
00:26:42,001 --> 00:26:43,834
He looks dead.
436
00:26:43,917 --> 00:26:45,876
Chance'd be a fine thing.
437
00:26:45,959 --> 00:26:47,209
Do you know him?
438
00:26:48,626 --> 00:26:51,542
Christ I'm sorry
Is there anything that I can do?
439
00:26:51,626 --> 00:26:53,334
Hmm Kill him and marry me.
440
00:26:54,417 --> 00:26:56,584
It was a joke, mate.
441
00:26:56,667 --> 00:26:58,042
Sort of.
442
00:26:58,126 --> 00:27:00,334
Oi Oi!
443
00:27:00,417 --> 00:27:04,376
- Dinlo All right?
- What's the time, babe?
444
00:27:04,459 --> 00:27:06,167
Oh, morning, darling, it's, uh,
445
00:27:06,251 --> 00:27:09,209
just coming up to
you're an absolute cunt o'clock.
446
00:27:09,292 --> 00:27:10,584
Fuck.
447
00:27:15,209 --> 00:27:16,667
Fuck's sake.
448
00:27:16,751 --> 00:27:19,251
Probation have got me
a job interview today
449
00:27:19,584 --> 00:27:21,264
I ain't going to tell you to change, Jack,
450
00:27:21,334 --> 00:27:23,126
cos I can't bear the disappointment.
451
00:27:23,209 --> 00:27:24,292
But I can tell you
452
00:27:24,376 --> 00:27:26,792
you won't be coming home
to a warm bed for much longer.
453
00:27:29,001 --> 00:27:30,001
Wish me luck
454
00:27:30,084 --> 00:27:32,376
I'd sooner Harvey Weinstein
tried to fuck me.
455
00:27:57,251 --> 00:27:58,959
I'm gonna make her proud.
456
00:27:59,042 --> 00:28:02,917
No more dickie, no more booze,
no more fighting.
457
00:28:03,001 --> 00:28:04,334
It's all behind me
458
00:28:04,417 --> 00:28:07,667
I know I can become
a productive member of society.
459
00:28:07,751 --> 00:28:09,792
You just watch me go.
460
00:28:12,001 --> 00:28:13,209
What can I get you?
461
00:28:37,001 --> 00:28:39,792
So, what you been up to
before this, matey?
462
00:28:40,584 --> 00:28:42,417
Bit of dickie, couple of pingers, dab of K,
463
00:28:42,501 --> 00:28:44,292
some Valium washed down with lager.
464
00:28:44,376 --> 00:28:45,584
But no brown.
465
00:28:45,667 --> 00:28:48,334
So, why Ledge magazine, Jase?
466
00:28:48,417 --> 00:28:50,126
Jack.
467
00:28:52,792 --> 00:28:54,667
Sorry, matey, I had a massive night.
468
00:28:57,626 --> 00:29:00,126
I just need a job, I don't care what I do.
469
00:29:01,584 --> 00:29:03,417
Want to feign interest in worthy causes,
470
00:29:03,501 --> 00:29:05,001
overshare your life on Instagram
471
00:29:05,084 --> 00:29:07,126
and vilify people
from privileged backgrounds?
472
00:29:09,376 --> 00:29:12,792
I'm only joking
473
00:29:12,876 --> 00:29:15,792
No, I've got the perfect opening for you.
474
00:29:15,876 --> 00:29:17,251
Like this brogue,
475
00:29:18,459 --> 00:29:20,876
each of you sees and feels the world
476
00:29:21,834 --> 00:29:23,001
in a unique way.
477
00:29:23,792 --> 00:29:26,501
Your own interpretation.
478
00:29:27,626 --> 00:29:29,167
And that's what I'm looking for.
479
00:29:32,001 --> 00:29:34,834
And just a reminder
about our show coming up
480
00:29:34,917 --> 00:29:38,209
where we invite friends
and family to critique our work
481
00:29:38,292 --> 00:29:41,376
I bet the idea of judgement
fills you all with dread.
482
00:29:41,459 --> 00:29:43,584
Well, better get used to it.
483
00:29:44,876 --> 00:29:47,876
Now, I want you to pick a theme.
484
00:29:47,959 --> 00:29:50,917
Movement or love.
485
00:29:51,709 --> 00:29:53,417
Interpret it however you wish.
486
00:29:53,501 --> 00:29:56,167
And remember, the toughest thing in art,
487
00:29:56,251 --> 00:29:58,126
much like in life,
488
00:29:59,542 --> 00:30:01,334
is to be your authentic self.
489
00:30:03,459 --> 00:30:05,209
Find your voice.
490
00:30:08,042 --> 00:30:10,876
Right Ten-minute coffee break
for those of you that smoke.
491
00:30:12,126 --> 00:30:14,251
Though I'm not sure
anyone does anymore.
492
00:30:17,209 --> 00:30:19,792
I'm a ghost
They don't even know I'm here.
493
00:30:19,876 --> 00:30:21,667
And why should they?
494
00:30:21,751 --> 00:30:23,667
I'm just a fat cunt serving muffins
495
00:30:23,751 --> 00:30:25,709
with nothing to crow about
apart from eczema
496
00:30:25,792 --> 00:30:27,167
and a few convictions
497
00:30:27,251 --> 00:30:29,626
I should be ashamed, yet I feel superior,
498
00:30:29,709 --> 00:30:31,542
like I'm above these little millennial
499
00:30:31,626 --> 00:30:34,709
Yo Pain au chocolat, cuz.
500
00:30:34,792 --> 00:30:38,167
- How about a please, cuz?
- How about a pain au chocolat?
501
00:30:45,376 --> 00:30:46,542
Uh, tongs.
502
00:30:53,501 --> 00:30:55,001
That's it.
503
00:31:00,334 --> 00:31:01,459
Safe, cuz.
504
00:31:09,334 --> 00:31:10,917
Fucking old boy over here piped up.
505
00:31:11,001 --> 00:31:12,042
Did he?
506
00:31:12,126 --> 00:31:13,926
Yeah, he's got a bit
of an attitude, you know?
507
00:31:14,001 --> 00:31:15,209
Getting a right zig
508
00:31:15,292 --> 00:31:17,834
cleaning up after these
snowflake shit cunts.
509
00:31:17,917 --> 00:31:21,001
Next one that gets lemon
is gonna get stretched out.
510
00:31:21,084 --> 00:31:23,334
Know the feeling, mate.
511
00:31:23,417 --> 00:31:25,042
So what brings you here, Jack?
512
00:31:25,126 --> 00:31:27,542
Always wanted to serve entitled children.
513
00:31:28,292 --> 00:31:29,501
Oh, yeah?
514
00:31:30,709 --> 00:31:33,084
Desperation - Hmm!
515
00:31:33,167 --> 00:31:35,042
Try six months in this gaff.
516
00:31:35,126 --> 00:31:37,084
It's spinning my nut, mush.
517
00:31:37,167 --> 00:31:39,042
Why do I feel
completely fucking irrelevant?
518
00:31:39,126 --> 00:31:42,751
Cos you are We both are.
519
00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:44,876
There's a new world sailing past us
520
00:31:44,959 --> 00:31:47,126
and we're merely spectators.
521
00:31:47,209 --> 00:31:49,542
On the government's least-wanted list.
522
00:31:50,542 --> 00:31:53,292
Not just white people, you know? Huh?
523
00:31:53,876 --> 00:31:54,959
Here y'are.
524
00:31:57,126 --> 00:31:58,459
What's up, my negro?
525
00:32:08,334 --> 00:32:09,834
You know what?
526
00:32:10,751 --> 00:32:12,667
I ain't nobody's negro.
527
00:32:22,709 --> 00:32:23,917
Here we go, look who it is
528
00:32:24,001 --> 00:32:26,334
I am no one's fucking negro!
529
00:32:26,417 --> 00:32:27,626
Come on!
530
00:32:45,584 --> 00:32:49,334
Right, enough! Get off him!
531
00:32:52,834 --> 00:32:55,042
I was meaning
to hand my notice in anyway.
532
00:32:58,042 --> 00:33:00,084
I appreciate your help, though.
533
00:33:00,917 --> 00:33:03,167
Ooh! My negro.
534
00:33:05,376 --> 00:33:08,667
I'm out of here
Before the Babylon men show up
535
00:33:22,209 --> 00:33:23,626
Spare some change, please, mate.
536
00:33:24,667 --> 00:33:26,626
I promise I'm not on drugs.
537
00:33:27,584 --> 00:33:29,084
You sure?
538
00:33:29,167 --> 00:33:31,501
Well, maybe just a little dabble.
539
00:33:32,876 --> 00:33:34,001
Fill your boots.
540
00:33:36,376 --> 00:33:38,959
Oh, I fucking love you!
541
00:34:09,251 --> 00:34:10,501
I think I'll choose love,
542
00:34:10,584 --> 00:34:13,959
just cos my mind goes blank
when I think about movement.
543
00:34:14,042 --> 00:34:18,251
Doesn't have to be literal
Could be a soul, a feeling.
544
00:34:21,042 --> 00:34:23,709
Could mean immigration
Movement of people.
545
00:34:24,417 --> 00:34:26,751
I find that a bit obvious,
if I'm honest, Vaughn.
546
00:34:26,834 --> 00:34:28,834
Just cos it's more topical than love.
547
00:34:32,834 --> 00:34:34,126
Got a class WhatsApp group
548
00:34:34,209 --> 00:34:36,167
if you want to stick yourself on it.
549
00:34:36,751 --> 00:34:38,292
Just to stay connected.
550
00:34:39,126 --> 00:34:41,834
Sometimes we all meet up,
go to a gallery.
551
00:34:42,417 --> 00:34:43,959
Just talk rubbish.
552
00:34:45,042 --> 00:34:46,876
I'm not sure you'd get me to a gallery
553
00:34:46,959 --> 00:34:48,917
but I'm good at talking rubbish.
554
00:34:52,126 --> 00:34:53,584
Well.
555
00:34:55,501 --> 00:34:57,042
Better get back in.
556
00:34:58,792 --> 00:35:00,459
The youth will gossip
557
00:35:29,292 --> 00:35:31,001
You all right, Jack?
558
00:35:31,376 --> 00:35:34,417
Cor, fuck me You look like
you've had a bit of agg, mate.
559
00:35:34,501 --> 00:35:37,959
What you drinking? Lager?
560
00:35:40,292 --> 00:35:41,626
Spirits?
561
00:35:44,417 --> 00:35:46,959
Or something with a little more oomph?
562
00:35:48,876 --> 00:35:49,876
There you are.
563
00:35:50,792 --> 00:35:52,376
Oh.
564
00:35:52,459 --> 00:35:53,876
Get on that.
565
00:35:53,959 --> 00:35:55,251
There's enough in there
566
00:35:55,334 --> 00:35:58,501
to get Keith Richards
on the fucking dance floor.
567
00:35:58,584 --> 00:36:00,001
Go on, take your pick.
568
00:36:06,376 --> 00:36:08,417
Oh
569
00:36:14,709 --> 00:36:16,792
Bit old for CP Company, aren't you, lad?
570
00:36:19,709 --> 00:36:21,167
Oh, what, this? It was a present
571
00:36:21,251 --> 00:36:23,084
I wouldn't buy this,
mate I'm in me forties.
572
00:36:23,167 --> 00:36:24,917
What team do you support?
573
00:36:25,001 --> 00:36:27,376
I'm not into football You?
574
00:36:27,459 --> 00:36:28,834
Tranmere.
575
00:36:31,292 --> 00:36:32,417
Long way from home.
576
00:36:32,501 --> 00:36:36,417
Looking for someone Was told
we might find him in here.
577
00:36:38,667 --> 00:36:41,001
Eye for an eye, and all that, innit?
578
00:36:46,501 --> 00:36:48,417
This your local, lad?
579
00:36:48,501 --> 00:36:50,917
Nah, I'm just grafting round here.
580
00:36:51,834 --> 00:36:54,042
I'm from Woking
581
00:36:54,126 --> 00:36:58,042
Fucking Woking, lad? That where
all the woke people are from?
582
00:36:58,126 --> 00:36:59,709
That's hilarious
583
00:37:05,709 --> 00:37:07,626
Anyway,
thanks for the quote, mate.
584
00:37:07,709 --> 00:37:10,667
If we need any new barrels,
I'll, uh I'll get in touch.
585
00:37:10,751 --> 00:37:11,751
Lovely.
586
00:37:11,834 --> 00:37:15,542
- All right, what you drinking?
- Five lagers, please, mate
587
00:37:15,626 --> 00:37:16,959
Kenny Boy, don't go near the Fox
588
00:37:17,042 --> 00:37:18,251
I'm coming round to see ya
589
00:37:18,334 --> 00:37:21,834
Kenny Boy, answer the fucking
phone, for fuck's sake
590
00:37:22,834 --> 00:37:24,501
Kenny Boy!
591
00:37:27,542 --> 00:37:28,626
Kenny Boy?
592
00:37:36,334 --> 00:37:37,751
What's happened? What you done? Eh?
593
00:37:37,834 --> 00:37:39,542
Kenny and Buzz, Kenny and Buzz.
594
00:37:39,626 --> 00:37:42,376
Fuckin' done? Fuck!
595
00:37:44,751 --> 00:37:45,751
Buzz Aldrin on the moon.
596
00:37:45,834 --> 00:37:47,834
You need to get him to
go to the moon, Kenny
597
00:37:52,126 --> 00:37:54,376
Hello, this is Jack Jones
598
00:37:54,459 --> 00:37:56,376
I'm calling on behalf of Kenneth Mason.
599
00:37:56,459 --> 00:37:58,626
He's gone completely fucking spastic.
600
00:37:58,709 --> 00:38:00,042
We don't use that term anymore.
601
00:38:00,126 --> 00:38:01,376
No, I do apologise.
602
00:38:01,459 --> 00:38:03,126
He's having one of
them mental episodes.
603
00:38:03,209 --> 00:38:05,001
Find where he keeps his meds - Yes.
604
00:38:05,084 --> 00:38:06,709
Find the blue pills, chlorpromazine,
605
00:38:06,792 --> 00:38:07,917
give him three of those.
606
00:38:09,876 --> 00:38:12,126
You all right, boy? Eh?
607
00:38:15,709 --> 00:38:16,917
Come here Come here.
608
00:38:17,001 --> 00:38:19,459
Come on, come here That's
Come here, that's it, mate.
609
00:38:19,542 --> 00:38:21,584
Right, here you are Eat these.
610
00:38:21,667 --> 00:38:23,459
Here you are, come here That's it.
611
00:38:23,542 --> 00:38:25,001
That's it, eat that Eat 'em.
612
00:38:25,084 --> 00:38:26,792
They're gonna kick in lively, them, boy.
613
00:38:26,876 --> 00:38:29,917
Don't worry, I'm here
That's it, there you go.
614
00:38:30,001 --> 00:38:31,709
That's it.
615
00:38:31,792 --> 00:38:34,209
Jack,
what's happening to me?
616
00:38:34,292 --> 00:38:36,334
It's all right, I'm here
It don't matter.
617
00:38:36,417 --> 00:38:37,959
Was I out of my head again?
618
00:38:38,042 --> 00:38:43,792
Kenny and Buzz Kenny and Buzz
Kenny and Buzz.
619
00:38:43,876 --> 00:38:46,001
Don't you worry I'm here for you
620
00:38:46,084 --> 00:38:48,417
I ain't gonna leave ya.
621
00:38:48,501 --> 00:38:51,917
Breathe Breathe
622
00:39:03,501 --> 00:39:04,751
Jack, I love you,
623
00:39:04,834 --> 00:39:07,834
but I ain't got a fucking clue
what you're talking about, mate.
624
00:39:07,917 --> 00:39:10,126
He was laying on
the fucking penny having a fit
625
00:39:10,209 --> 00:39:12,792
when I got round there, the poor cunt.
626
00:39:12,876 --> 00:39:15,042
He's proper ill - Who?
627
00:39:15,126 --> 00:39:18,376
Kenny Boy - Yeah? Got a note on ya?
628
00:39:19,792 --> 00:39:21,834
I only flew round there
cos the Tranmere lot,
629
00:39:21,917 --> 00:39:23,501
they was up the Fox looking for him.
630
00:39:24,459 --> 00:39:27,084
He's opened up
one of their boys bad, mate
631
00:39:31,292 --> 00:39:35,501
Fuck me, my mouth's
dryer than a nun's muff.
632
00:39:35,584 --> 00:39:37,626
Hold tight, I'm going to the john.
633
00:39:42,584 --> 00:39:45,292
Deano, get your nose
in the trough, mush
634
00:39:50,501 --> 00:39:53,292
You? Dickie?
635
00:39:53,376 --> 00:39:55,501
No, I'm sweet, boys I I'm gonna slip.
636
00:39:55,584 --> 00:39:57,417
You know, I promised my old woman.
637
00:39:58,709 --> 00:40:02,751
We've got, um couples
self-help group in the morning.
638
00:40:02,834 --> 00:40:05,584
Yeah? Deano's been going to them, uh,
639
00:40:05,667 --> 00:40:08,042
Narcotics Anonymous meetings,
ain't ya, mate?
640
00:40:08,126 --> 00:40:09,209
Yeah.
641
00:40:09,292 --> 00:40:11,126
Doing him the fucking
world of good, innit?
642
00:40:12,917 --> 00:40:14,792
See that tricky mug over there?
643
00:40:14,876 --> 00:40:17,792
Just tried tripping me up Fucking liberty.
644
00:40:18,876 --> 00:40:20,959
Straight! Where are they from?
645
00:40:21,042 --> 00:40:22,917
Look like fuckin' squaddies.
646
00:40:23,001 --> 00:40:25,667
Drop 'em out, Vin
I don't wanna get nicked.
647
00:40:29,792 --> 00:40:32,042
Vin, I've already broke me court order
648
00:40:32,126 --> 00:40:34,209
I'll go straight to the shovel, mate.
649
00:40:36,334 --> 00:40:39,084
Fuckin' boom, Vin - Fuck it
650
00:41:12,709 --> 00:41:14,417
Fuck's sake, Dad, wake up!
651
00:41:14,501 --> 00:41:16,376
You're supposed to be
taking me to Granddad's
652
00:41:16,459 --> 00:41:18,959
so I can have a McDonald's
and watch The Exorcist
653
00:41:19,042 --> 00:41:21,834
while you go to couples
workshop and save your marriage.
654
00:41:27,292 --> 00:41:29,626
You're quiet - Hmm
655
00:41:37,001 --> 00:41:39,292
I didn't think it'd come to this
656
00:41:39,376 --> 00:41:41,001
I imagined we'd spend our weekends
657
00:41:41,084 --> 00:41:44,917
considering suicide in Ikea
658
00:41:49,084 --> 00:41:50,501
Oh, for fuck's sake
659
00:41:50,584 --> 00:41:52,504
I need him like a hole
in the head at the moment.
660
00:41:52,542 --> 00:41:55,501
Oh, don't tell him I'm with you,
he gets all didgey round me
661
00:41:56,417 --> 00:41:59,209
Kenny Boy How are ya, mate?
662
00:41:59,292 --> 00:42:02,209
I'm sweet now, mate
Just finishing me cathedral.
663
00:42:04,209 --> 00:42:05,417
Look, I know I'm not well
664
00:42:05,501 --> 00:42:08,042
and everyone would rather
wash their hands of me,
665
00:42:08,126 --> 00:42:11,584
but it really matters to me
that you're there
666
00:42:11,667 --> 00:42:13,334
I fucking mean it.
667
00:42:17,209 --> 00:42:20,292
I ain't got no one else in this
world, Jack, apart from you.
668
00:42:20,376 --> 00:42:22,459
Fucking no one.
669
00:42:24,001 --> 00:42:25,792
So thank you, mate.
670
00:42:28,584 --> 00:42:29,917
I love you, geez.
671
00:42:32,626 --> 00:42:34,501
Yeah, I love you too, mate I love you too.
672
00:42:43,084 --> 00:42:44,584
I'm proud of you, Jack.
673
00:42:46,167 --> 00:42:48,417
You're the only one who stood on for him.
674
00:42:49,959 --> 00:42:52,667
My dad gave up years ago, and.
675
00:42:52,751 --> 00:42:55,001
Well, I can't say anything,
can I? Cos you know.
676
00:42:56,626 --> 00:42:57,626
But you.
677
00:43:00,459 --> 00:43:02,876
Although I do wonder
why you won't help yourself.
678
00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:07,084
Here.
679
00:43:10,709 --> 00:43:13,834
Babe, I forgot to ask,
how did your job interview go?
680
00:43:14,501 --> 00:43:16,667
They fuckin' loved me
681
00:43:16,751 --> 00:43:18,876
How was your day?
682
00:43:20,167 --> 00:43:23,917
Yeah I went back to yoga.
683
00:43:24,001 --> 00:43:25,959
My tree pose is terrible,
684
00:43:26,042 --> 00:43:28,334
and my back's fucked
685
00:43:28,417 --> 00:43:31,001
I just can't seem to
get my leg over anymore.
686
00:43:31,084 --> 00:43:33,292
Sounds like Daddy.
687
00:43:38,501 --> 00:43:39,751
Celery, Ron.
688
00:43:39,834 --> 00:43:43,626
It's been suggested that we ween
him off of ultra-processed food
689
00:43:43,709 --> 00:43:45,459
I've got Deliveroo turning up in a minute
690
00:43:45,542 --> 00:43:47,084
with a couple of fucking Big Macs.
691
00:43:47,167 --> 00:43:48,376
No, McDonald's is sweet.
692
00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:51,376
It's all that other shit you
gotta avoid Know what I mean?
693
00:43:51,459 --> 00:43:54,167
So what goes on
at this workshop then, eh?
694
00:43:54,251 --> 00:43:57,876
Full of fucking rug munchers
and flids, I bet
695
00:43:57,959 --> 00:44:00,084
I'm just keeping me nut down, Ron.
696
00:44:00,167 --> 00:44:01,751
Got to shoot off, we're gonna be late.
697
00:44:01,834 --> 00:44:03,334
Yeah, yeah, sweet.
698
00:44:04,251 --> 00:44:06,501
So what's the apple
with my Kenny Boy, eh?
699
00:44:07,667 --> 00:44:08,917
Good as gold.
700
00:44:10,209 --> 00:44:13,542
Yeah? So what you been up to then?
701
00:44:15,042 --> 00:44:16,751
I won't tell him about the breakdown
702
00:44:16,834 --> 00:44:18,626
cos I know he don't give a fuck.
703
00:44:20,792 --> 00:44:23,251
Chillaxing, really.
704
00:44:25,001 --> 00:44:28,292
Don't you take my kindness
for weakness, do you hear me?
705
00:44:28,376 --> 00:44:30,834
I could take the roof away
from over your head
706
00:44:30,917 --> 00:44:32,792
in a fucking heartbeat.
707
00:44:33,917 --> 00:44:39,001
Anything happens to my Kenny
Boy you're bang in trouble.
708
00:44:39,084 --> 00:44:42,542
Got it He's safe with me, Ron.
709
00:44:45,084 --> 00:44:47,001
Chillaxing, the saucy cunt.
710
00:44:52,917 --> 00:44:56,209
I think I'd probably be the Hulk,
711
00:44:56,292 --> 00:44:59,376
cos I have, like, a real issue
expressing my anger,
712
00:44:59,459 --> 00:45:03,459
and when it does come out,
I go like metaphorically
713
00:45:03,542 --> 00:45:07,126
fucking green, and just feel
wildly out of control.
714
00:45:10,709 --> 00:45:12,229
Shall we give him a round of applause?
715
00:45:18,376 --> 00:45:21,834
That is a wonderfully visceral
description of your anger, Lyle.
716
00:45:21,917 --> 00:45:25,209
Well done We welcome your honesty.
717
00:45:26,376 --> 00:45:28,876
And, Fi, would you like to
say anything to Lyle,
718
00:45:28,959 --> 00:45:32,626
in the spirit of openness and generosity?
719
00:45:32,709 --> 00:45:35,334
Um I see you, my husband.
720
00:45:35,417 --> 00:45:38,459
And it's OK to express your anger
721
00:45:38,542 --> 00:45:42,834
I'm scared but I'm held in this moment.
722
00:45:44,542 --> 00:45:48,709
Now, as a group, we hold this space
723
00:45:48,792 --> 00:45:52,501
as we close our eyes and we breathe
724
00:46:08,626 --> 00:46:09,626
Gareth.
725
00:46:09,709 --> 00:46:12,376
Gareth, have you thought about
who your superhero might be?
726
00:46:12,459 --> 00:46:13,584
Hm-hmm.
727
00:46:17,542 --> 00:46:20,251
I feel like the Invisible Man
728
00:46:22,917 --> 00:46:24,251
This is what ten years in prison
729
00:46:24,334 --> 00:46:26,459
with Prince Harry would feel like.
730
00:46:30,001 --> 00:46:32,001
I transferred to Edinburgh
to finish my masters,
731
00:46:32,084 --> 00:46:34,626
cos I found social sciences
at Bristol overly politicised
732
00:46:34,709 --> 00:46:36,417
if I'm honest - I know, right?
733
00:46:36,501 --> 00:46:38,792
I was doing English lit,
and in the second year,
734
00:46:38,876 --> 00:46:40,834
the syllabus focused on
post-colonial reading,
735
00:46:40,917 --> 00:46:43,584
and I was like, I came here
to learn Shakespeare, bro.
736
00:46:43,667 --> 00:46:46,334
And hunt chicks, of course
737
00:46:47,459 --> 00:46:48,876
What about you, Jack?
738
00:46:51,542 --> 00:46:53,751
- What's that, mate?
- Where did you study?
739
00:46:56,292 --> 00:46:58,751
Your lot don't bother with uni,
do they, Jack?
740
00:46:59,209 --> 00:47:01,209
School of life, blood.
741
00:47:01,292 --> 00:47:04,084
Anyway
742
00:47:04,167 --> 00:47:06,459
Dani, I want you to tell Jack
what you want from him.
743
00:47:10,459 --> 00:47:14,167
- Don't make me laugh.
- I'm not, I swear All right?
744
00:47:14,251 --> 00:47:15,751
Go on - Fuck off
745
00:47:19,126 --> 00:47:20,667
In your own time, Dani
746
00:47:28,167 --> 00:47:30,251
I want you to babysit.
747
00:47:33,501 --> 00:47:35,876
I mean, I wouldn't bother
asking for anything else,
748
00:47:35,959 --> 00:47:38,334
cos it'd be a waste of time.
749
00:47:38,417 --> 00:47:41,501
There's no point in asking you
to be more attentive,
750
00:47:41,584 --> 00:47:45,042
or not so fucking defensive.
751
00:47:45,126 --> 00:47:48,001
Stop telling me how to
run my life better, or
752
00:47:48,917 --> 00:47:51,292
show a bit of compassion
when I'm struggling.
753
00:47:52,834 --> 00:47:54,209
To give a single fucking fuck
754
00:47:54,292 --> 00:47:56,501
when I'm pre-menstrual or ill or whatever.
755
00:47:57,209 --> 00:47:59,667
No, I don't expect any of that anymore.
756
00:48:00,667 --> 00:48:03,584
I just want you to babysit
so I can have a night off.
757
00:48:05,042 --> 00:48:06,334
Yeah.
758
00:48:11,292 --> 00:48:13,417
And Jack, what do you
wanna say to Dani?
759
00:48:21,584 --> 00:48:22,667
What night?
760
00:48:24,126 --> 00:48:25,417
What night, what?
761
00:48:25,501 --> 00:48:26,893
What night do you want me to babysit?
762
00:48:26,917 --> 00:48:30,209
Cos we've got Yeovil, so.
763
00:48:32,126 --> 00:48:37,417
I think Dani meant generally,
Jack Unless I misread that?
764
00:48:40,251 --> 00:48:42,209
How does that make you feel, Dani?
765
00:48:43,209 --> 00:48:45,917
Is being a massive cunt a feeling?
766
00:48:55,417 --> 00:48:57,167
I've got something else to tell ya.
767
00:49:00,292 --> 00:49:01,459
I didn't go yoga.
768
00:49:05,084 --> 00:49:06,834
I went back to art college.
769
00:49:10,584 --> 00:49:12,876
Well, I've got something to tell you an' all.
770
00:49:17,501 --> 00:49:19,001
I'm proud of ya.
771
00:49:25,167 --> 00:49:27,834
And I won't go to football
if you don't want me to.
772
00:49:29,292 --> 00:49:32,042
Fuck it I'm done with it.
773
00:49:42,709 --> 00:49:45,626
I'd, uh, like to lay down a challenge
774
00:49:45,709 --> 00:49:49,167
I want you to consider
going back to the place
775
00:49:49,251 --> 00:49:50,292
you had your first date
776
00:49:54,959 --> 00:49:58,126
Now, it's unlikely
you'll feel the same emotions
777
00:49:58,209 --> 00:50:00,542
as you did when you first met,
778
00:50:00,626 --> 00:50:03,626
but trust the process is all I ask, and
779
00:50:04,751 --> 00:50:06,292
you might be surprised
780
00:50:20,084 --> 00:50:22,167
You can come in now
781
00:50:26,084 --> 00:50:28,751
I thought I might let you
smash my back doors in.
782
00:50:31,126 --> 00:50:32,792
And here's me thinking
I only married you
783
00:50:32,876 --> 00:50:34,334
so you'd do me laundry.
784
00:50:34,959 --> 00:50:36,792
Come and fuck me, you fat old cunt.
785
00:50:46,917 --> 00:50:48,917
- Knackered?
- Exhausted.
786
00:50:49,001 --> 00:50:50,751
- Cuddle?
- Love one.
787
00:51:38,084 --> 00:51:40,251
Gotta go and see a fella from work.
788
00:51:41,501 --> 00:51:43,792
Well, I guess, if it's important.
789
00:51:44,917 --> 00:51:48,334
I can't ponce off your old man
for the rest of me life, can I?
790
00:51:48,417 --> 00:51:49,626
Eh?
791
00:51:56,417 --> 00:51:58,667
Love you - Hmm
792
00:52:02,042 --> 00:52:04,084
Cunt
793
00:52:27,417 --> 00:52:29,643
Thinking the boys would
give me a hero's welcome
794
00:52:29,667 --> 00:52:32,626
for staying sober proved to be
a considerable mistake.
795
00:52:32,709 --> 00:52:35,376
Instead, I was made to feel
about as welcome as Andrew Tate
796
00:52:35,459 --> 00:52:38,126
at the Ipswich Lesbians'
annual vegan lunch.
797
00:52:44,876 --> 00:52:46,459
No Kenny Boy?
798
00:52:46,542 --> 00:52:49,251
He mentioned something about
having sushi with Buzz Aldrin.
799
00:53:03,626 --> 00:53:05,292
Lager for Vinny - Ta, mate.
800
00:53:06,626 --> 00:53:08,167
Lager for Deano - Ta, mate.
801
00:53:09,292 --> 00:53:11,876
Lager for Roger That's me.
802
00:53:15,501 --> 00:53:18,126
Pear juice for Jack - Sweet, Rog.
803
00:53:19,792 --> 00:53:24,667
You, uh you coming football?
We got Yeovil
804
00:53:40,792 --> 00:53:42,209
I'm gonna have a lag.
805
00:53:45,334 --> 00:53:47,542
Fuck me, the geezer's completely gone.
806
00:53:47,626 --> 00:53:50,126
- It's worse than I thought.
- He's shot to bits.
807
00:53:50,209 --> 00:53:52,709
Totally weighed in - Absolute shit cunt.
808
00:53:52,792 --> 00:53:54,959
It's embarrassing
What are we gonna do?
809
00:53:55,042 --> 00:53:56,584
Don't worry about it
810
00:53:56,667 --> 00:53:58,251
I left him a livener in the khazi.
811
00:53:58,334 --> 00:53:59,917
Straight? What'd you give him?
812
00:54:00,001 --> 00:54:01,001
I taped a packet
813
00:54:01,084 --> 00:54:02,685
and a couple of pills to the toilet wall.
814
00:54:02,709 --> 00:54:04,001
That'll liven the Jils up.
815
00:54:07,834 --> 00:54:09,292
That's friendship for ya.
816
00:54:09,376 --> 00:54:11,042
They think they're doing you a favour,
817
00:54:11,126 --> 00:54:12,251
but they forgot how you
818
00:54:12,334 --> 00:54:14,542
almost wound up wanking off
bent vicars for readies,
819
00:54:14,626 --> 00:54:17,751
or selling your son's
christening presents for dickie.
820
00:54:17,834 --> 00:54:19,751
They're not the ones
with a prison sentence
821
00:54:19,834 --> 00:54:21,542
hanging over their heads though,
are they?
822
00:54:54,376 --> 00:54:56,084
What's that?
823
00:54:58,292 --> 00:54:59,501
I dunno.
824
00:55:00,792 --> 00:55:02,876
Smells like pear juice.
825
00:55:15,209 --> 00:55:17,834
Dad, is Mum having an affair?
826
00:55:17,917 --> 00:55:20,251
I hope not What makes you say that?
827
00:55:20,334 --> 00:55:22,876
She said that if ever you
pick me up from school,
828
00:55:22,959 --> 00:55:25,876
it means she's either dead
or run off with another man.
829
00:55:25,959 --> 00:55:28,001
- Uncle Kenny!
- Hey.
830
00:55:30,626 --> 00:55:32,792
Kenny Boy, where you been?
831
00:55:32,876 --> 00:55:34,917
Working on myself.
832
00:55:35,001 --> 00:55:36,834
Is this good Kenny Boy
or bad Kenny Boy?
833
00:55:36,917 --> 00:55:39,334
Always good Kenny Boy.
834
00:55:39,417 --> 00:55:41,084
It wants to be an' all
835
00:55:41,167 --> 00:55:44,417
? First day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
836
00:55:44,501 --> 00:55:47,959
? A partridge in a pear tree
837
00:55:48,042 --> 00:55:51,584
? Two, four, six, eight,
we don't want to radiate
838
00:55:51,667 --> 00:55:53,209
? Three, five, seven, nine
839
00:55:53,292 --> 00:55:55,459
? Stop the bomb while we've still got time
840
00:55:57,626 --> 00:55:59,584
So glad to see you, Uncle Kenny.
841
00:55:59,667 --> 00:56:01,167
Mum said you had a mental breakdown
842
00:56:01,251 --> 00:56:03,417
and went completely
fucking spastic again
843
00:56:09,709 --> 00:56:11,834
That's your favourite airline,
Colombian Airlines,
844
00:56:11,917 --> 00:56:13,209
cos this is all you order,
845
00:56:13,292 --> 00:56:15,667
"I'd like to have the dickie with dickie,
846
00:56:15,751 --> 00:56:17,876
and I'd like to season it with dickie"
847
00:56:24,376 --> 00:56:27,167
What you doing? I said
I'd let you drive us home.
848
00:56:27,251 --> 00:56:28,626
Hold tight - [turns music off.
849
00:56:28,709 --> 00:56:30,251
See a man about a dog.
850
00:56:35,417 --> 00:56:37,376
Where's he going?
851
00:56:37,459 --> 00:56:40,667
He's going fucking
doolally is where he's going.
852
00:56:48,959 --> 00:56:49,959
All right, mate?
853
00:56:50,042 --> 00:56:52,167
What's happening, cuz?
You got any food?
854
00:56:52,251 --> 00:56:53,917
- What do you want, mate?
- The lot, cunt
855
00:57:01,626 --> 00:57:03,751
Fuckin' hell, they're two-handed.
856
00:57:05,626 --> 00:57:07,084
You stay here Do you understand me?
857
00:57:07,167 --> 00:57:08,334
You don't move.
858
00:57:10,542 --> 00:57:11,751
Dad?
859
00:57:16,917 --> 00:57:19,084
Fuck off!
860
00:57:19,167 --> 00:57:21,501
- Prick! Fucking want some more?
- Oh, mate Mate
861
00:57:25,584 --> 00:57:26,959
Come here.
862
00:57:32,292 --> 00:57:35,501
Cunts!
863
00:57:37,626 --> 00:57:39,084
He's got a fucking shooter!
864
00:57:39,167 --> 00:57:41,084
He's got a fucking shooter!
865
00:57:52,042 --> 00:57:54,376
Fucking run, boy! Run!
866
00:57:58,292 --> 00:58:00,709
I'm sorry All right?
I'm sorry you had to see that.
867
00:58:00,792 --> 00:58:02,917
But you got to understand
that your Uncle Kenny Boy,
868
00:58:03,001 --> 00:58:04,834
he's fucking doolally, this geezer.
869
00:58:04,917 --> 00:58:06,959
What you can't do is tell your mum.
870
00:58:07,042 --> 00:58:08,917
Cos if you tell your mum, I get aimed out.
871
00:58:09,001 --> 00:58:10,292
We know what happens, don't we?
872
00:58:10,376 --> 00:58:13,792
Yeah, I'll have a new dad
873
00:58:13,876 --> 00:58:16,917
That's it, we'll have a laugh
about this one day All right?
874
00:58:17,001 --> 00:58:20,376
Not a word to your mum
Not a word, all right?
875
00:58:20,459 --> 00:58:23,667
- And I'll get you a Big Mac.
- Fucking Big Mac? That's it?
876
00:58:23,751 --> 00:58:26,251
All right, I'll get you
some edibles, an iPad code,
877
00:58:26,334 --> 00:58:28,501
laughing gas
878
00:58:28,584 --> 00:58:30,417
I might even get you a brass.
879
00:58:31,876 --> 00:58:35,001
That was a joke
880
00:58:40,292 --> 00:58:41,626
Good boy
881
00:58:41,709 --> 00:58:43,751
Managed to stay out of trouble?
882
00:58:48,459 --> 00:58:50,334
You were barely in the job five minutes
883
00:58:50,417 --> 00:58:51,959
before a fight broke out.
884
00:58:52,042 --> 00:58:53,292
I didn't start it.
885
00:58:53,376 --> 00:58:55,917
You're 45, not 11.
886
00:58:56,001 --> 00:58:59,126
And what was the reason
you didn't show up to therapy?
887
00:58:59,209 --> 00:59:00,751
Running battle with Tranmere.
888
00:59:02,042 --> 00:59:03,584
I had to look after my brother-in-law.
889
00:59:03,667 --> 00:59:06,042
He's got mental health issues.
890
00:59:06,126 --> 00:59:08,876
It's called a court order for a reason.
891
00:59:10,626 --> 00:59:13,251
You've got two weeks before sentencing.
892
00:59:13,334 --> 00:59:14,626
Show me something, Jack,
893
00:59:14,709 --> 00:59:16,542
anything that will make me believe you.
894
00:59:22,626 --> 00:59:25,459
You never noticed
she was so stunning.
895
00:59:25,542 --> 00:59:27,542
Or maybe you just never noticed
anything at all.
896
00:59:27,626 --> 00:59:29,751
She had so many attributes
that were lost on you,
897
00:59:29,834 --> 00:59:33,334
but above all else,
she had kindness in her soul
898
00:59:33,417 --> 00:59:36,209
which was odd seeing as her dad
was such a titanic cunt
899
00:59:36,292 --> 00:59:38,667
and her brother was
a complete fucking pot house.
900
00:59:38,751 --> 00:59:40,542
Help me with these please, babe.
901
00:59:42,209 --> 00:59:44,917
Years of taking her for granted
had eroded that passion
902
00:59:45,001 --> 00:59:47,167
that burned so brightly.
903
00:59:47,251 --> 00:59:49,626
All that was left was
a love triangle between me,
904
00:59:49,709 --> 00:59:51,542
Dani and dickie.
905
00:59:51,626 --> 00:59:53,466
But the idea of losing her
and living on my own
906
00:59:53,501 --> 00:59:54,792
in a one-bedder in Penge
907
00:59:54,876 --> 00:59:57,626
with just Pornhub
and Nando's for company
908
00:59:57,709 --> 01:00:01,126
was about as appealing as
sitting on Gary Glitter's lap.
909
01:00:01,209 --> 01:00:02,334
There y'are.
910
01:00:06,001 --> 01:00:08,459
It's not lost on me, what you're doing.
911
01:00:08,542 --> 01:00:11,084
- Why, what am I doing?
- Stop fishing.
912
01:00:11,167 --> 01:00:13,292
You know - You mean staying in,
913
01:00:13,376 --> 01:00:14,751
babysitting, not going to football
914
01:00:14,834 --> 01:00:16,834
while you go to an art
exhibition with your mates?
915
01:00:16,917 --> 01:00:18,959
You make it less special
when you spell it out.
916
01:00:20,501 --> 01:00:21,501
I'm joking.
917
01:00:25,417 --> 01:00:27,709
Why are you dressed
as Jeremy Corbyn?
918
01:00:27,792 --> 01:00:29,751
I don't wanna look out of place.
919
01:00:32,417 --> 01:00:34,167
What am I gonna do while you're out?
920
01:00:34,251 --> 01:00:36,417
What you normally do,
wank and play FIFA.
921
01:00:37,292 --> 01:00:39,584
Oh, crap I'm late.
922
01:00:39,667 --> 01:00:41,876
Right, please make sure
he stays off his screens.
923
01:00:41,959 --> 01:00:43,501
You hear me? No screens.
924
01:00:43,584 --> 01:00:45,376
Yes.
925
01:00:45,459 --> 01:00:46,501
See ya, comrade.
926
01:00:52,792 --> 01:00:55,084
You piece of shit!
927
01:00:56,792 --> 01:00:57,959
Cunt!
928
01:01:04,501 --> 01:01:06,584
Aim better, you fucking piss-face.
929
01:01:06,667 --> 01:01:07,917
Shut your mouth.
930
01:01:08,001 --> 01:01:09,709
You mug - You posh mug
931
01:01:09,792 --> 01:01:11,334
I'm not posh - Private school mug.
932
01:01:12,376 --> 01:01:13,459
Yes!
933
01:01:20,959 --> 01:01:22,709
Fuckin' hell!
934
01:01:27,376 --> 01:01:28,417
Oi - Eh?
935
01:01:28,501 --> 01:01:31,001
Oi, let me go, you nonce - Nonce?
936
01:01:34,667 --> 01:01:37,417
Stupid Don't You never take
your eyes off your opponent.
937
01:01:37,501 --> 01:01:38,542
- Oh, yeah?
- Eh?
938
01:01:38,626 --> 01:01:40,459
- What's that then?
- It's a muncher.
939
01:01:40,542 --> 01:01:42,834
You shut up before I put you
in the nose-bleeding zone.
940
01:01:50,167 --> 01:01:53,126
Tuppence Fat, fucking bald
tuppence cunt.
941
01:01:54,584 --> 01:01:55,751
Greedy cunt.
942
01:01:58,834 --> 01:02:01,167
On the dog, go on In the tum!
943
01:02:01,251 --> 01:02:03,834
Yeah, watch out before
your absolute twig arms snap.
944
01:02:03,917 --> 01:02:07,417
You used to be a fuckable cunt,
now you're a fat, bald cunt.
945
01:02:10,459 --> 01:02:11,834
Fucking ashamed of yourself.
946
01:02:23,376 --> 01:02:25,126
It's your own fucking fault
947
01:02:42,709 --> 01:02:44,292
Oh, yes.
948
01:02:46,417 --> 01:02:48,709
Love you, boy I love ya
949
01:02:55,292 --> 01:02:57,209
It's not the hard times that get ya.
950
01:02:57,292 --> 01:02:59,084
It's not the pain and the struggle.
951
01:02:59,167 --> 01:03:01,334
And it's not the adversity.
952
01:03:01,417 --> 01:03:04,001
It's normal life that breaks ya.
953
01:03:18,001 --> 01:03:22,751
Dani, dickie Dickie, Dani
954
01:03:48,626 --> 01:03:51,667
Hi - Very.
955
01:03:51,751 --> 01:03:54,209
We were wondering if you were
interested in joining our party.
956
01:03:54,917 --> 01:03:56,126
Fuck, yeah.
957
01:03:56,209 --> 01:03:58,792
Splendid We desperately want
your vote, and are offering
958
01:03:58,876 --> 01:04:00,667
something radically different
to the others,
959
01:04:00,751 --> 01:04:03,376
particularly in affordable
housing and green spaces.
960
01:04:03,459 --> 01:04:06,417
Good Now where's the party?
961
01:04:16,209 --> 01:04:18,126
Oh, sorry, you're a Labour member?
962
01:04:18,209 --> 01:04:20,292
No, I'm out of it - Fab.
963
01:04:20,376 --> 01:04:22,084
Any chance we can
convince you to swing?
964
01:04:22,167 --> 01:04:23,687
As long as you ain't got any diseases.
965
01:04:23,751 --> 01:04:26,001
Splendid We desperately want
your vote and are offering
966
01:04:26,084 --> 01:04:27,876
something radically different
to the others,
967
01:04:27,959 --> 01:04:30,042
particularly in affordable
housing and green spaces.
968
01:04:30,126 --> 01:04:31,917
Terrific.
969
01:04:32,001 --> 01:04:33,501
Now get your Tory cunt out
970
01:04:45,126 --> 01:04:46,792
I suppose you're gonna
offer me something
971
01:04:46,876 --> 01:04:48,584
radically different from the others,
972
01:04:48,667 --> 01:04:51,959
particularly in affordable
housing and green spaces.
973
01:04:52,834 --> 01:04:56,084
No, uh, we're offering
recycled toilet paper.
974
01:04:58,292 --> 01:04:59,417
Oh.
975
01:05:05,209 --> 01:05:08,251
Dad, can I please watch
some pansexual porn?
976
01:05:09,126 --> 01:05:12,167
You're having a fucking laugh,
ain't ya? Your age?
977
01:05:12,251 --> 01:05:14,209
You can watch straight porn or nothing
978
01:05:32,126 --> 01:05:35,167
Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention, please.
979
01:05:35,251 --> 01:05:38,959
It's now Libby's turn
to show you her work
980
01:05:39,042 --> 01:05:40,584
I chose movement
981
01:05:40,667 --> 01:05:45,292
because immigration is something
that's really close to my heart
982
01:05:45,376 --> 01:05:48,417
I just totally think that there
are no borders in this world
983
01:05:48,501 --> 01:05:51,542
and people should be able to move freely.
984
01:05:52,709 --> 01:05:56,167
And the fact that people escape
war zones to come to Britain
985
01:05:56,251 --> 01:05:58,167
and are made to feel
like second-class citizens
986
01:05:58,251 --> 01:06:00,667
really bothers me.
987
01:06:02,751 --> 01:06:04,667
Libby, can you stop
looking at me, please?
988
01:06:04,751 --> 01:06:06,542
I'm from fucking Dagenham
989
01:06:12,209 --> 01:06:13,751
Your attention, please, everyone.
990
01:06:13,834 --> 01:06:17,084
It's now Dani's turn to show you her work.
991
01:06:23,292 --> 01:06:28,876
So I chose love, because.
992
01:06:31,417 --> 01:06:32,834
Because
993
01:06:36,334 --> 01:06:38,709
Are you all right?
994
01:06:40,792 --> 01:06:43,834
- Who's fucking Vaughn? Eh?
- Fuckin' hell.
995
01:06:43,917 --> 01:06:45,417
Excuse me.
996
01:06:45,501 --> 01:06:46,709
Wanker!
997
01:06:46,792 --> 01:06:49,751
Wanker! Wanker! Wanker!
998
01:06:52,292 --> 01:06:54,001
Wanker!
999
01:06:54,084 --> 01:06:55,834
Now fuck off out of here
1000
01:06:57,417 --> 01:07:00,126
Roger, my old son, I'm out me nut
1001
01:07:00,209 --> 01:07:01,917
I need you to call me on a bit of dickie,
1002
01:07:02,001 --> 01:07:03,459
I want a couple of blue diamonds,
1003
01:07:03,542 --> 01:07:05,001
some pingers,
1004
01:07:05,084 --> 01:07:07,209
something to help me
on the old downwards slope.
1005
01:07:10,709 --> 01:07:13,001
I think you've dialled the wrong R.
1006
01:07:13,084 --> 01:07:15,834
This isn't Roger - Oh, fuck!
1007
01:07:16,584 --> 01:07:18,834
- I'm sorry, Ron.
- Don't worry about it, kiddo.
1008
01:07:18,917 --> 01:07:21,042
We all make ricks, don't we?
1009
01:07:21,126 --> 01:07:23,501
I mean, just look at me
and my Kenny Boy
1010
01:07:23,584 --> 01:07:26,084
I've not exactly been
a guiding light for him, have I?
1011
01:07:26,167 --> 01:07:28,834
No, no, no, Ron, I think
you done the best you could,
1012
01:07:28,917 --> 01:07:30,292
given the circumstances.
1013
01:07:30,376 --> 01:07:32,459
Truth is, Jack, I've been
way out of my depth
1014
01:07:32,542 --> 01:07:34,459
since the missus left me
for a younger man.
1015
01:07:34,542 --> 01:07:37,292
Organic butcher, as it happens
1016
01:07:37,376 --> 01:07:39,542
I've just gone and buried
my head in the sand.
1017
01:07:39,626 --> 01:07:43,042
Underneath it all,
I feel so much so much shame.
1018
01:07:45,626 --> 01:07:48,417
I mean, I know that I fucked
my Kenny Boy up with
1019
01:07:48,501 --> 01:07:53,334
money and material possessions
1020
01:07:53,417 --> 01:07:56,417
I just didn't give the boy
the one thing he needed, Jack.
1021
01:07:57,209 --> 01:08:01,542
All he wanted was my love.
1022
01:08:04,584 --> 01:08:07,209
That's all he wanted
1023
01:08:07,292 --> 01:08:10,667
I think you've dialled the
wrong R This isn't Roger.
1024
01:08:10,751 --> 01:08:12,459
Oh, fuck! I'm sorry, Ron.
1025
01:08:12,542 --> 01:08:14,959
You fucking cunt of sickness!
1026
01:08:15,042 --> 01:08:19,417
You've got the nerve to bell me
and ask for a bit of dickie?
1027
01:08:19,501 --> 01:08:21,876
I fuckin' hate you!
1028
01:08:21,959 --> 01:08:24,792
And if you think I'm gonna
tell you to liven yourself up,
1029
01:08:24,876 --> 01:08:26,167
well, you're fucking wrong!
1030
01:08:26,251 --> 01:08:28,501
Cos I want you to fuck your life up
1031
01:08:28,584 --> 01:08:30,542
I want you to flush it down the khazi!
1032
01:08:30,626 --> 01:08:32,459
I want my fucking Dani
1033
01:08:32,542 --> 01:08:35,584
to see what a fucking wastrel you are!
1034
01:08:35,667 --> 01:08:39,709
I want her to fucking realise
she married a fucking no-hoper,
1035
01:08:39,792 --> 01:08:42,626
a fucking ponce, a fucking Jekyll,
1036
01:08:42,709 --> 01:08:44,209
a fucking messer!
1037
01:08:44,292 --> 01:08:47,251
I'll show you messer, you ginger cunt
1038
01:09:00,626 --> 01:09:04,334
? We've only just begun.
1039
01:09:04,417 --> 01:09:08,251
- Oi, oi, what's happening, son?
- ? To live
1040
01:09:10,417 --> 01:09:12,042
? White lace - Get in, son!
1041
01:09:33,417 --> 01:09:35,584
Fuckin' hell, mate.
1042
01:09:35,667 --> 01:09:37,584
Have a bang on that, mush Yeah?
1043
01:09:37,667 --> 01:09:39,251
Right, listen, Yeovil are en route,
1044
01:09:39,334 --> 01:09:41,584
and they reckon they're gonna
smash up our boozer.
1045
01:09:41,667 --> 01:09:45,042
- You fucking ready or what?
- Yeovil? I've shit these cunts
1046
01:09:45,126 --> 01:09:46,709
I've fucking shit these cunts - Yeah?
1047
01:09:46,792 --> 01:09:48,751
Fucking ready then, yeah? Yeah?
1048
01:09:48,834 --> 01:09:50,917
You're just a fucking wanker!
1049
01:09:51,001 --> 01:09:52,959
You're just a fucking wanker!
1050
01:09:55,292 --> 01:09:56,292
Dani!
1051
01:09:57,292 --> 01:09:59,209
Dani, come on - No
1052
01:09:59,292 --> 01:10:02,251
Dani, come on
Oh, come and have a boogie.
1053
01:10:04,376 --> 01:10:07,084
Please - Oh, fuck it.
1054
01:10:08,626 --> 01:10:11,042
Yeah!
1055
01:10:19,251 --> 01:10:23,459
? And when the evening comes
1056
01:10:23,542 --> 01:10:26,876
? We smile
1057
01:10:28,251 --> 01:10:32,501
? So much of life ahead
1058
01:10:34,084 --> 01:10:39,876
? We'll find a place
where there's room to grow
1059
01:10:39,959 --> 01:10:41,792
? And yes, we've just be
1060
01:10:41,876 --> 01:10:44,126
Whoo!
1061
01:11:04,417 --> 01:11:06,292
Yeah, so keep your fucking eyes
peeled, boys.
1062
01:11:09,876 --> 01:11:11,667
- You Yeovil?
- We are!
1063
01:11:11,751 --> 01:11:13,251
I'll do the fuckin' lot of ya.
1064
01:11:13,334 --> 01:11:15,751
Especially you, you ugly, fat cunt.
1065
01:11:33,209 --> 01:11:34,376
Fuck! JJ!
1066
01:11:45,626 --> 01:11:48,876
Oh, fuck!
1067
01:11:51,251 --> 01:11:52,376
Fuck
1068
01:12:21,001 --> 01:12:22,792
Fuck are you doing here, Kenny Boy?
1069
01:12:22,876 --> 01:12:26,001
I heard you was bang in trouble.
1070
01:12:26,084 --> 01:12:28,584
Wanted to make sure you was OK.
1071
01:12:28,667 --> 01:12:30,209
Like you did for me.
1072
01:12:34,001 --> 01:12:35,501
I know I'm an albatross, Jack.
1073
01:12:36,292 --> 01:12:39,167
You've got enough on your plate
without having to look after me.
1074
01:12:44,417 --> 01:12:46,584
Truth is, you make me look sensible
1075
01:12:46,667 --> 01:12:51,001
I'm a stain on the family We all know it.
1076
01:12:51,084 --> 01:12:53,584
No one wants me around.
1077
01:12:53,667 --> 01:12:56,084
People go quiet when I walk in a room.
1078
01:12:56,709 --> 01:12:57,876
I might be crackers,
1079
01:12:57,959 --> 01:12:59,459
but I can still hear the whispers of,
1080
01:12:59,542 --> 01:13:01,751
"Get him the fuck away from me,"
behind my back.
1081
01:13:06,292 --> 01:13:10,167
The truth is I wouldn't want me around.
1082
01:13:19,626 --> 01:13:22,042
I'll tell you what, Kenny Boy.
1083
01:13:23,917 --> 01:13:26,251
You might think I'm all you've got
1084
01:13:28,459 --> 01:13:30,876
but the fact is, you're all I've got.
1085
01:13:30,959 --> 01:13:34,292
So you ain't going nowhere,
cos without you, I'm fucked.
1086
01:13:36,626 --> 01:13:40,417
No, Jack, you've still got a chance.
1087
01:13:41,626 --> 01:13:43,584
You've just got to go home
and make it right.
1088
01:13:46,626 --> 01:13:50,251
I must be fucked if I'm taking
advice from a schizophrenic
1089
01:14:32,584 --> 01:14:34,542
Hmm Classy.
1090
01:14:39,209 --> 01:14:42,251
- Is that me clothes?
- And your porn collection
1091
01:14:42,334 --> 01:14:44,876
I know what's more important to ya.
1092
01:14:48,417 --> 01:14:51,126
I booked the restaurant we had
our first date in for tonight.
1093
01:14:55,542 --> 01:14:57,167
Please?
1094
01:14:57,251 --> 01:14:59,667
I've already made other plans, Jack.
1095
01:14:59,751 --> 01:15:01,209
Well, unmake 'em.
1096
01:15:01,292 --> 01:15:03,417
How about a sorry?
1097
01:15:03,501 --> 01:15:05,834
Where are you going anyway?
1098
01:15:07,417 --> 01:15:08,876
Art stuff.
1099
01:15:14,417 --> 01:15:16,542
Meet me at the restaurant.
1100
01:15:16,626 --> 01:15:18,334
What, for another night of humiliation?
1101
01:15:18,417 --> 01:15:21,709
No For pasta.
1102
01:15:23,292 --> 01:15:25,251
I don't want my boy
to grow up like you, Jack.
1103
01:15:26,459 --> 01:15:29,084
I'm so fucking sorry for what I've done.
1104
01:15:41,084 --> 01:15:43,042
If you can find it
in your heart to forgive me,
1105
01:15:43,126 --> 01:15:45,292
I'll see you at the restaurant at six bells
1106
01:16:03,667 --> 01:16:04,917
What's happening?
1107
01:16:06,042 --> 01:16:07,626
How did you know I was here?
1108
01:16:07,709 --> 01:16:10,376
Vin, everyone knows
your wife left you years ago.
1109
01:16:11,376 --> 01:16:14,126
Having a party
1110
01:16:14,209 --> 01:16:17,542
- Wanna come in?
- Nah, you're all right.
1111
01:16:17,626 --> 01:16:19,542
Look after this for me.
1112
01:16:25,209 --> 01:16:28,084
Jack, do us a favour.
1113
01:16:28,167 --> 01:16:29,626
Don't tell the other lot, yeah?
1114
01:17:03,001 --> 01:17:05,126
Please don't tell me
you want your drugs back.
1115
01:17:08,542 --> 01:17:10,001
Thank God for that.
1116
01:17:16,626 --> 01:17:19,126
Nah, mate, I've fucked it.
1117
01:17:19,209 --> 01:17:20,834
My wife's gonna leave me
1118
01:17:22,292 --> 01:17:24,417
I've turned my son into a lunatic.
1119
01:17:25,209 --> 01:17:27,042
My mates think I'm a bore.
1120
01:17:27,792 --> 01:17:30,126
And me father-in-law's
gonna fucking kill me.
1121
01:17:31,959 --> 01:17:34,126
Well, at least you've got your freedom.
1122
01:17:38,334 --> 01:17:40,417
I'd help if I could, mate,
1123
01:17:40,501 --> 01:17:42,709
but I'm just a hopeless,
dyslexic, spark-out,
1124
01:17:42,792 --> 01:17:45,667
dickie-sniffing drunk
What good am I gonna be?
1125
01:18:16,626 --> 01:18:18,626
Mind if I readjust you slightly?
1126
01:18:44,584 --> 01:18:46,959
These are for you, Dani.
1127
01:18:47,042 --> 01:18:48,792
Yeah, I'm not Dani.
1128
01:18:48,876 --> 01:18:52,251
Fuck's sake Can't even get that right
1129
01:18:52,334 --> 01:18:57,084
He wanted me to tell ya
he loves ya More than Yeovil.
1130
01:18:59,834 --> 01:19:02,001
I'll just leave 'em here, shall I?
1131
01:20:52,876 --> 01:20:54,042
Before you sit down.
1132
01:20:56,209 --> 01:20:58,084
I've thought long and hard about this.
1133
01:20:59,042 --> 01:21:01,417
There's something I need to say, so.
1134
01:21:16,542 --> 01:21:18,126
I'm a cunt.
1135
01:21:29,417 --> 01:21:31,751
You know that's usually
just the beginning?
1136
01:21:35,292 --> 01:21:38,251
Are you not even gonna make
a promise to try a bit harder?
1137
01:21:41,792 --> 01:21:44,334
And you wonder why
I went back to art college.
1138
01:21:44,417 --> 01:21:45,876
With Vaughn.
1139
01:21:48,001 --> 01:21:50,167
He saw me, Jack.
1140
01:21:50,251 --> 01:21:52,917
He actually fucking saw me.
1141
01:21:53,001 --> 01:21:55,084
You've been avoiding me for 15 years.
1142
01:21:55,167 --> 01:21:56,209
Scared of bumping into me.
1143
01:21:56,292 --> 01:21:58,334
Terrified of being alone with me.
1144
01:21:58,417 --> 01:22:00,459
But don't worry, it ain't just you
1145
01:22:00,542 --> 01:22:01,959
I feel it too
1146
01:22:02,042 --> 01:22:04,126
I wanna run away from you an' all.
1147
01:22:04,209 --> 01:22:06,917
And don't kid yourself that it's
just you avoiding having sex.
1148
01:22:07,001 --> 01:22:08,084
You think I'm excited
1149
01:22:08,167 --> 01:22:10,459
at the prospect of you lying
on top of me for 90 seconds
1150
01:22:10,542 --> 01:22:12,376
while you speed fuck me
like a Border terrier?
1151
01:22:17,001 --> 01:22:21,292
Sometimes I'd rather
just have a wank as well.
1152
01:22:22,292 --> 01:22:24,626
I know how you feel, a more mio.
1153
01:22:26,001 --> 01:22:28,834
And I know I ain't no size eight anymore,
1154
01:22:28,917 --> 01:22:31,334
and my tits are like
punctured fucking tyres,
1155
01:22:31,417 --> 01:22:34,542
and my idea of fun is Wordle
and I think Uggs are sexy.
1156
01:22:34,626 --> 01:22:37,209
But you ain't the catch
you used to be either
1157
01:22:37,292 --> 01:22:39,167
I mean, sure, I was
half impressed by you
1158
01:22:39,251 --> 01:22:41,792
in our twenties, but don't you
think you're past the age now
1159
01:22:41,876 --> 01:22:43,959
where you're a hero
cos you sniff a bit of dickie
1160
01:22:44,042 --> 01:22:46,626
and a top geezer in the eyes
of your silly fucking mates?
1161
01:22:51,792 --> 01:22:54,001
But you know what?
1162
01:22:55,001 --> 01:22:59,209
Despite everything I still love ya.
1163
01:23:01,001 --> 01:23:02,459
I do.
1164
01:23:03,376 --> 01:23:07,876
I mean, yeah, I was tempted by Vaughn,
1165
01:23:07,959 --> 01:23:11,209
if only to remind myself
what fucking passion felt like.
1166
01:23:13,876 --> 01:23:16,917
But I couldn't bear to see
the hurt on your little face.
1167
01:23:19,417 --> 01:23:24,042
So, yeah you are absolutely right.
1168
01:23:25,417 --> 01:23:27,084
You are a cunt.
1169
01:23:28,459 --> 01:23:30,584
But you're my cunt.
1170
01:23:31,584 --> 01:23:33,501
And that matters to me.
1171
01:23:41,501 --> 01:23:44,959
- Carbonara, please.
- Spaghetti or rigatoni?
1172
01:23:45,042 --> 01:23:47,001
Surprise me.
1173
01:24:01,292 --> 01:24:03,459
Look at you.
1174
01:24:08,501 --> 01:24:11,376
I never spoke to a straight goer
unless I was servin' 'em dickie.
1175
01:24:12,417 --> 01:24:15,334
Never read a book, apart from The Sun.
1176
01:24:15,417 --> 01:24:18,917
Never been to an exhibition
We won't count yours
1177
01:24:19,001 --> 01:24:20,459
I've never even had a conversation
1178
01:24:20,542 --> 01:24:22,542
unless it was about drugs or football.
1179
01:24:23,626 --> 01:24:25,834
I look down on people I can't relate to.
1180
01:24:26,542 --> 01:24:29,501
I'm scared of mixing outside my world
1181
01:24:29,584 --> 01:24:33,292
I don't listen to anyone unless
there's something in it for me
1182
01:24:33,376 --> 01:24:35,792
I judge people on their looks
1183
01:24:35,876 --> 01:24:38,334
I want a prize for doing fuck all.
1184
01:24:39,209 --> 01:24:40,792
I hate anyone that disagrees with me.
1185
01:24:40,876 --> 01:24:43,626
And I love the sound
1186
01:24:43,709 --> 01:24:45,792
of my own voice.
1187
01:24:48,417 --> 01:24:50,709
Fuck me, I must bore you to tears.
1188
01:24:53,417 --> 01:24:55,876
And I'm not saying I'm gonna
turn into Albert Epstein
1189
01:24:56,751 --> 01:24:59,209
Einstein Epstein's the nonce.
1190
01:25:02,209 --> 01:25:04,626
What I will say
1191
01:25:04,709 --> 01:25:08,751
is if I can stay out of prison,
I know I can change.
1192
01:25:11,834 --> 01:25:13,626
Hmm!
1193
01:25:13,709 --> 01:25:16,042
For a minute there, I almost believed ya.
1194
01:25:18,626 --> 01:25:20,584
Almost is good enough for me
1195
01:25:38,626 --> 01:25:40,917
Jack Jack, it's Kenny Boy.
1196
01:25:41,001 --> 01:25:43,209
You've gotta come and help me, Jack.
1197
01:25:43,292 --> 01:25:44,751
What the fuck you looking at?
1198
01:25:44,834 --> 01:25:47,334
Them fucking dealers we beat up
are in the pub looking for me.
1199
01:25:47,417 --> 01:25:49,334
They're firm-handed.
1200
01:25:49,417 --> 01:25:52,417
Calm down I'm coming
I'm coming now Fuckin' hell.
1201
01:25:52,501 --> 01:25:53,876
I'm out by the khazi.
1202
01:25:53,959 --> 01:25:56,917
The fucking back door's locked
You've gotta come and help me.
1203
01:25:57,001 --> 01:25:59,001
- How 'bout you, eh?
- I'm round the corner.
1204
01:25:59,042 --> 01:26:01,542
Bowl haircut, this tall?
1205
01:26:01,626 --> 01:26:03,084
I need you to help me.
1206
01:26:03,167 --> 01:26:05,042
- Get round the back door lively.
- Kenny Boy!
1207
01:26:05,126 --> 01:26:07,376
Crazy fucking look in his eye
Have you seen him?
1208
01:26:07,459 --> 01:26:09,792
You've gotta come and help me
They're gonna cop for me.
1209
01:26:09,876 --> 01:26:11,751
Bowl haircut Laugh like hyaena
You seen him?
1210
01:26:11,834 --> 01:26:12,834
No, mate.
1211
01:26:12,917 --> 01:26:14,167
- You fucking sure?
- Sorry.
1212
01:26:14,251 --> 01:26:15,542
Be lively, Jack.
1213
01:26:16,834 --> 01:26:18,185
Just fucking get to the back door!
1214
01:26:18,209 --> 01:26:20,417
Round the back and prise it open
1215
01:26:20,501 --> 01:26:23,042
Kenny Boy! Push, and I'll try and open it.
1216
01:26:23,126 --> 01:26:25,001
- Let me out!
- All right.
1217
01:26:27,376 --> 01:26:28,542
Open the door, Jack!
1218
01:26:31,292 --> 01:26:33,709
Hurry up! We've gotta get out of here!
1219
01:26:33,792 --> 01:26:36,001
It's not fucking funny
1220
01:26:36,084 --> 01:26:38,084
I was seconds away from getting done.
1221
01:26:38,167 --> 01:26:39,292
Them bods had guns on them
1222
01:26:39,376 --> 01:26:41,056
I was gonna get one
right in the cannister!
1223
01:26:41,126 --> 01:26:42,376
I don't need this, Kenny Boy!
1224
01:26:42,459 --> 01:26:44,018
I'm trying to sort out my fucking life!
1225
01:26:46,209 --> 01:26:47,917
Remember me, pal?
1226
01:26:57,417 --> 01:26:58,876
Cunt stabbed me.
1227
01:27:10,917 --> 01:27:13,334
All right All right, all right, all right
1228
01:27:15,626 --> 01:27:17,376
I need an ambulance.
1229
01:27:17,459 --> 01:27:20,417
Someone's been stabbed
I'm outside the Fox.
1230
01:27:20,501 --> 01:27:22,584
Be quick, he's fucking dying.
1231
01:27:23,834 --> 01:27:27,376
Come on Don't fucking die, you cunt.
1232
01:27:27,459 --> 01:27:30,334
Don't you fucking die, you cunt
You dare fucking die.
1233
01:27:32,751 --> 01:27:36,917
All right, all right, all right.
1234
01:27:53,709 --> 01:27:56,084
The defendant failed to attend
his first therapy session,
1235
01:27:56,167 --> 01:27:57,501
Your Honour,
1236
01:27:57,584 --> 01:28:01,376
and also lost his job down to
a confrontation with colleagues.
1237
01:28:03,501 --> 01:28:07,126
However, there is cause for optimism.
1238
01:28:07,209 --> 01:28:10,667
Firstly, he came to the aid
of a wounded man,
1239
01:28:10,751 --> 01:28:13,917
called the ambulance services
And from their report,
1240
01:28:14,001 --> 01:28:16,626
I gather he certainly helped
save the young man's life.
1241
01:28:18,209 --> 01:28:21,501
And on top of that, he appears
to have made the effort
1242
01:28:21,584 --> 01:28:23,584
to find further employment,
1243
01:28:23,667 --> 01:28:28,084
and has a contract with a
Mr Ron Mason's scaffold team.
1244
01:28:29,209 --> 01:28:31,876
In summation,
I recommend the defendant
1245
01:28:31,959 --> 01:28:34,084
continues his probation order
1246
01:28:34,167 --> 01:28:37,126
so he can carry on
working on the scaffold team,
1247
01:28:37,209 --> 01:28:40,626
and indeed on himself
1248
01:28:45,001 --> 01:28:48,251
Not often that this
court hears a good-news story
1249
01:28:48,334 --> 01:28:51,126
I'm impressed.
1250
01:28:51,209 --> 01:28:56,126
Seems like your liberty is worth
fighting for after all, Jones.
1251
01:28:56,209 --> 01:28:57,209
Well done.
1252
01:28:58,417 --> 01:29:01,001
I don't intend to interfere
with your employment,
1253
01:29:01,084 --> 01:29:04,001
so I'm going to leave you in
the capable hands of Mr Fisher
1254
01:29:04,084 --> 01:29:05,584
and the probation services,
1255
01:29:05,667 --> 01:29:08,376
where you can hopefully impart
some of your newfound wisdom
1256
01:29:08,459 --> 01:29:11,292
to the younger offenders
1257
01:29:11,376 --> 01:29:14,042
you will likely meet along the way.
1258
01:29:15,209 --> 01:29:17,917
Good Court adjourned.
1259
01:29:27,084 --> 01:29:30,876
Shame I was hoping you'd get a five.
1260
01:29:34,876 --> 01:29:37,292
Go on then, dinlo.
1261
01:29:37,376 --> 01:29:40,584
Fuck off and celebrate
with your two-bob mates.
1262
01:29:40,667 --> 01:29:42,001
What are you gonna do?
1263
01:29:44,209 --> 01:29:45,501
Nude life drawing.
1264
01:29:49,126 --> 01:29:52,917
Don't worry, Jack, I wouldn't
hurt you just for sport.
1265
01:30:01,709 --> 01:30:03,167
Funny thing, life.
1266
01:30:03,251 --> 01:30:04,959
You never know how it's gonna unfold
1267
01:30:05,042 --> 01:30:06,802
I mean, who would have thought
the two people
1268
01:30:06,876 --> 01:30:08,310
that gave me the most agg in this world
1269
01:30:08,334 --> 01:30:10,001
would be the ones
that came to my rescue
1270
01:30:10,084 --> 01:30:11,167
when I needed it the most?
1271
01:30:11,251 --> 01:30:13,459
Oi - So, to Kenny Boy and Ron
1272
01:30:13,542 --> 01:30:16,251
Kenny Boy, may your wounds
heal quickly
1273
01:30:16,334 --> 01:30:18,834
Ron, may yours last for evermore.
1274
01:30:18,917 --> 01:30:22,876
As for me, I'm looking forward
to a bright future
1275
01:30:22,959 --> 01:30:25,334
I'm thinking of reducing
my carbon footprint,
1276
01:30:25,417 --> 01:30:28,042
steady employment, a Toyota Prius,
1277
01:30:28,126 --> 01:30:31,126
volunteering at the school fete, a Flymo,
1278
01:30:31,209 --> 01:30:34,459
The Rest is Politics podcast,
a beanie hat,
1279
01:30:34,542 --> 01:30:38,334
and walking holidays in
Pembrokeshire with Mrs Jones.
1280
01:30:38,417 --> 01:30:41,376
Sourdough baking, Wilderness Festival,
1281
01:30:41,459 --> 01:30:45,459
Jamie Oliver cookbooks,
recycled Birkenstocks,
1282
01:30:45,542 --> 01:30:49,084
me time, better vocabulary, Wim Hof,
1283
01:30:49,167 --> 01:30:53,959
grassroots campaigning, sharing
family progress on social media,
1284
01:30:54,042 --> 01:30:56,376
vegan cheese, maybe even a beard.
1285
01:30:56,459 --> 01:30:59,751
Just Stop Oil, hemp man bags,
1286
01:30:59,834 --> 01:31:03,417
subscription to The Guardian,
gong baths,
1287
01:31:03,501 --> 01:31:07,417
a greater understanding
of diverse communities, kimchi,
1288
01:31:07,501 --> 01:31:09,959
and generally a little more
love and tolerance
1289
01:31:10,042 --> 01:31:11,792
towards my fellow man.
1290
01:31:11,876 --> 01:31:15,167
Anyway, it can wait till Monday.
1291
01:31:15,251 --> 01:31:17,084
Come on, Jack, liven up, you fucking Jils
1292
01:31:20,126 --> 01:31:22,334
Here look, boys
They're fucking here, look.
1293
01:31:22,417 --> 01:31:23,584
Come on
1294
01:31:44,792 --> 01:31:45,959
What are you doing here?!
1295
01:31:47,292 --> 01:31:48,376
Come on! Come on!
1296
01:31:49,584 --> 01:31:50,959
Come on, then!
1297
01:31:51,876 --> 01:31:54,584
Come on! Come on!
1298
01:31:54,667 --> 01:31:55,876
You fucking knobhead!