WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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<i>Once upon a time,</i>

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<i>in the far away magical land
of South London,</i>

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<i>in a simple age,
when a cock belonged to a man</i>

6
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<i>and a cunt was married to a woman</i>

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<i>that sat in the pub all day
talking absolute bollocks,</i>

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<i>there was a little boy called Jack.</i>

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<i>The very first word
Jack ever spoke was...</i>

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C-C-Cocaine.

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<i>An ambitious child,</i>

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<i>Jack already knew
what he wanted out of life.</i>

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What would you like to do
when you grow up, David?

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Put a stop to world famine, sir

15
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What about you, Sarah?

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Invent something amazing, sir

17
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- What about you, Jack?
- Drugs, sir And fuck Sarah.

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<i>Jack knew that being academic</i>

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<i>was about as useful
as a dildo in a nunnery.</i>

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<i>Round the flats, a different
type of education mattered.</i>

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Fuck you staring at, you Jils?

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<i>This was Jack's university.</i>

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<i>Happily, he graduated
with venereal disease</i>

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<i>and a criminal record.</i>

25
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<i>And it was here he met Dani,
the love of his life.</i>

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<i>Jack and Dani, you've got to
admit, it's got a ring to it.</i>

27
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<i>Their love burned so brightly</i>

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<i>that Dani even gave up
on her dream of art college</i>

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<i>and settled into a life of domestic bliss.</i>

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<i>She laid down her paint brush
and picked up the laundry.</i>

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<i>And on the day their son JJ
was conceived,</i>

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<i>Dani scored over 100,000
on some generic mobile game</i>

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<i>while Jack smashed her back doors in.</i>

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<i>For a while, they were just
like any other normal family,</i>

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<i>but Jack had one little niggling problem.</i>

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<i>For 60 quid, you can buy
an electric kettle from Argos,</i>

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<i>or a day-glo collar for an XL bully.</i>

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<i>But for 50 quid,
you can buy a gram of cocaine.</i>

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<i>He loved his wife and son,</i>

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<i>but being a dickie-sniffing
cunt was way more fun.</i>

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<i>While most men
took their sons to football,</i>

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<i>ate Ginsters pies and
reminisced about Coldplay gigs,</i>

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<i>Jack slipped off with his old muckers,</i>

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<i>Vinny, Roger and Deano,</i>

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<i>where they sniffed
phenomenal amounts of cocaine</i>

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<i>and enjoyed their favourite
pastime, fighting.</i>

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Come on then,
you fucking two-bob cunts,

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I'll do the lot of ya

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<i>But what became of poor Jack?</i>

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<i>After years of sniffing dickie
and casual violence,</i>

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<i>with the morals of a pikey,</i>

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<i>surely he would redeem himself</i>

53
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<i>and find his true place in society?</i>

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Let's do this bunch of cunts

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Come on!

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Oi!

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I thought you fucking died on us.

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<i>Vinny's wife threw him out</i>

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<i>when she caught him with a
Brazilian tranny in Whitstable.</i>

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<i>He only sees his kids
through a contact centre,</i>

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<i>but he's too ashamed
to admit it, so he lies</i>

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<i>and says the missus has
taken them to Center Parcs.</i>

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Here you are You've been
fuckin' spark out

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since we left London.

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<i>Deano got his first bit of bird</i>

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00:03:55.917 --> 00:03:57.459
<i>when off his nut on ketamine.</i>

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<i>He stole a thousand pairs
of Loro Piana mittens</i>

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<i>and tried to sell them at
the local thalidomide centre.</i>

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Liven yourself up, silly bollocks,

70
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we're nearly in Grimsby.

71
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<i>Maybe not the brightest,</i>

72
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<i>Roger thought Canvey Island
was in the Bahamas,</i>

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<i>and was blown away by EasyJet.</i>

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<i>He once flew to Helsinki,
then come straight home</i>

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<i>just to experience speedy boarding.</i>

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That's better I feel brand new.

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If you wanna avoid wannabe cunts
in snide Moncler jackets

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00:04:36.959 --> 00:04:38.834
that fancy themselves as football thugs,

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over-policed stadiums,

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and tickets that cost
more than a gram of dickie

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then the lower leagues are for you.

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But be warned, this sport
is only for the truly committed

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Fuck me, they're mob-handed

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Come on! Come on!

85
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No one run Stay
together Let's do these cunts.

86
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Do not run

87
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Here we go! Come on, Grimsby

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<i>Well,
we are in for a treat today.</i>

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<i>Two great firms, bitter rivals
and sworn enemies</i>

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<i>meeting in the bombed-out
streets of Grimsby.</i>

91
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<i>And as the firms advance
towards each other,</i>

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<i>it's great to see Grimsby
with such a tidy looking mob.</i>

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<i>These flash Cockney wankers</i>

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<i>won't know what's fucking hit them.</i>

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<i>Oh, that's a lovely effort from Grimsby.</i>

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<i>Deano's gone over like a granny on ice.</i>

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<i>Doesn't look like VAR will be
needed in this instance.</i>

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<i>Oh, that's terrific from Roger the Dodger.</i>

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<i>Right round the fucking
cannister with a beer bottle.</i>

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<i>That will require a few
stitches, I'd imagine.</i>

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<i>Oh, that's a shocking display
from the mouthy cunt Vinny</i>

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<i>in the CP duffle coat.</i>

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<i>Since when was pepper spray
in the fair-play rule book?</i>

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<i>Stone the crows, he's only going again.</i>

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<i>Jesus, these Cock-er-neys
are really ruthless cunts.</i>

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<i>What a screamer from Jack Jones!</i>

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<i>That's worth a look from another angle.</i>

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<i>And there it is, a peach of a shot.</i>

109
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<i>Despite the fact he's losing his hair,</i>

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<i>and got erectile dysfunction.</i>

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<i>Oh, my word! He's only
gone and nutted the cunt.</i>

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<i>And that's what I call entertainment</i>

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<i>It's all fun and games
The sheer indulgence of it.</i>

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<i>The drinking and eating
and fighting and fucking.</i>

115
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<i>Until one day, you wake up and realise</i>

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<i>you've done nothing with your life.</i>

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<i>Everything you ever had,
all your hopes and dreams</i>

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<i>have come to absolutely fuck all</i>

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Fighting at football
Possession of cocaine.

120
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At your age?

121
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Don't you feel
the slightest bit embarrassed?

122
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Dreadfully embarrassed, mate.

123
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Your Honour - Your Honour.

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I swear, if he don't send me to prison,

125
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I'll give him a blow job.

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I'm gonna give you a chance, Jones

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I take that back Nose job.

128
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But you need to prove to me

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why I shouldn't give you
a custodial sentence,

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and you need to convince me

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your liberty is worth fighting for.

132
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You'll be bound over for six weeks.

133
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Now, you stated the reason
for your violent activity

134
00:08:08.334 --> 00:08:11.751
and drug use is financial
and marital difficulties.

135
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Well, I'm gonna make it
a legal requirement

136
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that you attend couples therapy.

137
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As well as finding yourself
some gainful employment.

138
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Your freedom rests in your ability

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to pull yourself together
over the next six weeks.

140
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Your probation officer will report to me.

141
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Mess him around, and it's prison for you.

142
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Do we understand each other?

143
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Yes.

144
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Stage fright?

145
00:08:48.334 --> 00:08:49.667
You mean you're dyslexic?

146
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No biggie Just ask.

147
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Ta.

148
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I'll help you, if you help me.

149
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I'm gonna try - Good

150
00:09:03.042 --> 00:09:05.167
- I'm gonna try.
- It's worth taking it seriously

151
00:09:05.251 --> 00:09:07.584
cos life only pities the young.

152
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It isn't so kind to middle-aged fuck-ups.

153
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So what's your relationship
with drugs like?

154
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Stronger than my marriage.

155
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How often do you do it?

156
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I get the odd wank at Christmas

157
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I meant drugs.

158
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Oh

159
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We're still in love.

160
00:09:29.876 --> 00:09:31.459
You think it's a joke?

161
00:09:31.542 --> 00:09:34.584
A box-ticking exercise?
You're 45 years old.

162
00:09:34.667 --> 00:09:37.001
You haven't got time to spend
the next five years inside.

163
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You think your wife will wait for you?

164
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I wouldn't bet on it.

165
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You've got six weeks
to turn your life around.

166
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Now, do you wanna know
how probation works?

167
00:09:55.292 --> 00:09:58.417
You lucky cunt! I thought you
was getting five Sweet?

168
00:09:58.501 --> 00:10:00.501
I was planning on having a trade
with your missus.

169
00:10:00.584 --> 00:10:01.704
Fuck off - How you wound up

170
00:10:01.751 --> 00:10:03.626
getting bound over's beyond me
What a touch.

171
00:10:03.709 --> 00:10:05.309
- I'll get 'em in Deano?
- Lager.

172
00:10:05.376 --> 00:10:06.417
- Rog?
- Lager, Vin

173
00:10:06.501 --> 00:10:07.834
Jackie boy?

174
00:10:07.917 --> 00:10:09.876
I'll just have a pear juice, I think

175
00:10:11.584 --> 00:10:14.042
No, you won't You'll have
a fucking lager, you weirdo

176
00:10:16.042 --> 00:10:17.584
What's he say then, your PO?

177
00:10:17.667 --> 00:10:20.126
I gotta go therapy - What for?

178
00:10:20.209 --> 00:10:22.834
Brush up on my driving skills.

179
00:10:22.917 --> 00:10:24.376
Have a go on that.

180
00:10:26.001 --> 00:10:29.042
Fucking get on with it then - Give us it.

181
00:10:36.626 --> 00:10:38.626
<i>You know you loved
each other once.</i>

182
00:10:38.709 --> 00:10:41.126
<i>There was a time when she
laughed at eve hing you said,</i>

183
00:10:41.209 --> 00:10:43.126
<i>no matter how fucking stupid.</i>

184
00:10:43.209 --> 00:10:45.917
<i>And you wore her legs
round your face like a scarf.</i>

185
00:10:46.001 --> 00:10:47.501
<i>But that was years ago.</i>

186
00:10:47.584 --> 00:10:49.667
<i>And eventually, even those
who love you the most</i>

187
00:10:49.751 --> 00:10:53.042
<i>get tired of you acting
like a backwards cunt.</i>

188
00:10:53.126 --> 00:10:55.167
Well, thank God you didn't go to prison.

189
00:10:55.251 --> 00:10:57.667
Mum said she would have
run off with another man

190
00:10:57.751 --> 00:11:00.292
if you went to jail, one with
money and a sense of humour.

191
00:11:00.376 --> 00:11:02.709
Too right I will,
if you don't liven yourself up.

192
00:11:02.792 --> 00:11:05.084
All right, Dan? What's happening, babe?
What you having?

193
00:11:05.167 --> 00:11:07.209
It's fucking light outside, Vin
I'll have a tea.

194
00:11:07.292 --> 00:11:09.126
Come on, babe, drop the act We're on it!

195
00:11:09.209 --> 00:11:11.251
Shouldn't you be at home
with Lucy and the kids?

196
00:11:11.334 --> 00:11:13.334
Nah, she's taken the kids
to that Center Parcs gaff

197
00:11:13.417 --> 00:11:15.876
for the weekend Anyway, fuck that!

198
00:11:15.959 --> 00:11:18.834
We're celebrating - Celebrating what?

199
00:11:18.917 --> 00:11:21.251
He's been given six weeks
to sort his fucking life out

200
00:11:22.917 --> 00:11:25.126
You're just a fucking wanker!

201
00:11:25.209 --> 00:11:27.251
You're just a fucking wanker!

202
00:11:27.334 --> 00:11:29.417
You're just a fucking wanker!

203
00:11:29.501 --> 00:11:31.459
You're just a fucking wanker!

204
00:11:31.542 --> 00:11:33.792
You're just a fucking wanker!

205
00:11:33.876 --> 00:11:35.834
You're just a fucking wanker!

206
00:11:41.209 --> 00:11:42.667
Oi, dinlo Come here.

207
00:11:44.709 --> 00:11:48.376
You scared me - I know, babe Me an' all.

208
00:11:48.459 --> 00:11:50.126
Fuck prison.

209
00:11:50.209 --> 00:11:53.292
- Tell me you're done with it.
- Yeah, course I am.

210
00:11:53.376 --> 00:11:55.126
Let's go and have a roast
with your old man.

211
00:11:55.209 --> 00:11:58.917
No I said, tell me you're done with it.

212
00:11:59.001 --> 00:12:01.251
All of it The sniffing The football.

213
00:12:08.542 --> 00:12:11.751
Right Start by emptying your pockets

214
00:12:11.834 --> 00:12:14.917
What, are you Old Bill?

215
00:12:17.834 --> 00:12:20.626
- Don't you trust me?
- Take a wild guess.

216
00:12:20.709 --> 00:12:21.709
All right.

217
00:12:22.751 --> 00:12:25.001
Here you are Here you are.

218
00:12:26.834 --> 00:12:28.751
You know I won't nag you, Jack.

219
00:12:28.834 --> 00:12:30.834
But I won't suffer you either.

220
00:12:34.084 --> 00:12:35.084
If I had cocaine on me,

221
00:12:35.167 --> 00:12:37.334
it wouldn't be in me fucking pocket.

222
00:12:43.834 --> 00:12:45.792
What did the judge say?

223
00:12:45.876 --> 00:12:47.251
Just gotta keep me nose clean.

224
00:12:47.334 --> 00:12:51.667
Was he having a fucking laugh
or what? You?

225
00:12:51.751 --> 00:12:53.167
No, but seriously though, kid,

226
00:12:53.251 --> 00:12:55.959
you've got to sort yourself out,
you know that, don't ya?

227
00:12:56.042 --> 00:12:58.501
I mean, look at ya
When you married my daughter,

228
00:12:58.584 --> 00:13:00.584
you took a vow to take care of her.

229
00:13:00.667 --> 00:13:03.917
But look at you now, living
in one of my gaffs rent free,

230
00:13:04.001 --> 00:13:06.459
and my little Dani don't know
if her husband's coming home

231
00:13:06.542 --> 00:13:08.292
in the next couple of weeks.

232
00:13:08.709 --> 00:13:13.251
If she leaves you, Jack,
then so does my charity.

233
00:13:14.417 --> 00:13:16.167
And how long

234
00:13:16.251 --> 00:13:19.459
am I supposed to keep paying
for your son's education, eh?

235
00:13:21.001 --> 00:13:23.542
Well, it weren't my idea
to send JJ to private school.

236
00:13:23.626 --> 00:13:28.251
He's my blood, Jack
Forgive me for caring.

237
00:13:28.334 --> 00:13:30.751
Trying to give him a leg up,
little start in life

238
00:13:30.834 --> 00:13:33.167
I know I appreciate it

239
00:13:34.626 --> 00:13:36.876
Ron, any chance you can get me

240
00:13:36.959 --> 00:13:38.292
on one of your scaffolding teams?

241
00:13:38.376 --> 00:13:39.876
Cos I've got to prove I'm working.

242
00:13:41.501 --> 00:13:43.751
That's a young man's game, that

243
00:13:43.834 --> 00:13:46.167
I've got no room for messers.

244
00:13:46.251 --> 00:13:47.959
You've got to be fit.

245
00:13:49.376 --> 00:13:50.959
I just need a job I'll do anything.

246
00:13:51.042 --> 00:13:52.167
Yeah?

247
00:13:52.251 --> 00:13:55.376
Well, start by carving this fucking bird up

248
00:13:55.459 --> 00:13:57.084
I've got stuffing to make.

249
00:13:59.209 --> 00:14:02.167
Success didn't ruin my father-in-law.

250
00:14:02.251 --> 00:14:04.709
He's always been a cunt

251
00:14:36.251 --> 00:14:38.376
Look, Granddad I've got a hard-on

252
00:14:40.834 --> 00:14:43.459
Babe, you can't say that at the table OK?

253
00:14:47.001 --> 00:14:49.751
I need a word Now.

254
00:14:53.334 --> 00:14:56.834
See? Private school's
doing him the world of good.

255
00:14:57.834 --> 00:15:00.167
Listen

256
00:15:00.251 --> 00:15:03.126
I might have a bit of graft for ya.

257
00:15:03.209 --> 00:15:05.959
My Kenny Boy's coming home
Needs someone to look after him.

258
00:15:06.917 --> 00:15:08.542
Me look after Kenny Boy?

259
00:15:08.626 --> 00:15:11.751
He's been in a health farm

260
00:15:12.417 --> 00:15:14.001
I've got a lot on my plate, Ron.

261
00:15:15.126 --> 00:15:17.167
He's your wife's brother, Jack.

262
00:15:17.251 --> 00:15:18.292
Half-brother.

263
00:15:18.376 --> 00:15:20.626
What fucking difference
does it make, eh?

264
00:15:20.709 --> 00:15:23.501
You said you wanted a job, didn't ya?

265
00:15:26.251 --> 00:15:31.167
Look, I know you're struggling,
yeah? I just wanna help.

266
00:15:31.584 --> 00:15:33.292
Here's a bit of readies.

267
00:15:34.334 --> 00:15:36.459
Take this to be getting on with.

268
00:15:38.917 --> 00:15:42.626
Do something nice Take him
to the fair or something.

269
00:15:42.709 --> 00:15:44.334
The fair?

270
00:15:44.417 --> 00:15:46.417
He's twenty-fucking-five, Ron.

271
00:15:46.501 --> 00:15:48.042
We'll look like a pair of bacons.

272
00:15:51.959 --> 00:15:53.292
Come on.

273
00:15:55.417 --> 00:15:56.876
When's he home anyway?

274
00:15:58.042 --> 00:15:59.376
<i>Kenny Boy was brought up</i>

275
00:15:59.459 --> 00:16:00.779
<i>on a healthy diet of pornography.</i>

276
00:16:00.834 --> 00:16:02.959
<i>YouTube violence, and parental neglect.</i>

277
00:16:03.042 --> 00:16:04.751
<i>A mentally unstable 'roid jacker</i>

278
00:16:04.834 --> 00:16:06.167
<i>with a vicious bowl haircut</i>

279
00:16:06.251 --> 00:16:07.251
<i>and a constant semi,</i>

280
00:16:07.334 --> 00:16:09.292
<i>he's of the generation
that thinks choking a bird</i>

281
00:16:09.376 --> 00:16:11.643
<i>while smashing her back doors
in is Morse code for saying,</i>

282
00:16:11.667 --> 00:16:13.459
<i>"I love ya," and robbing your dad's house</i>

283
00:16:13.542 --> 00:16:15.626
<i>is just a way of accessing
your inheritance early.</i>

284
00:16:15.709 --> 00:16:19.834
<i>Pills, fight, wank, repeat
Pills, fight, wank, repeat.</i>

285
00:16:24.209 --> 00:16:26.459
Not quite the health farm
Ron had in mind.

286
00:16:26.542 --> 00:16:28.667
He was thinking ice baths and reiki.

287
00:16:28.751 --> 00:16:30.417
This gas method is Thorazine

288
00:16:30.501 --> 00:16:32.751
and repeats of <i>Escape to the Country.</i>

289
00:16:32.834 --> 00:16:36.084
Still, as long as he's had his
volts, he'll be raring to go

290
00:16:37.792 --> 00:16:40.376
Kenny Boy How are you, mate?

291
00:16:41.501 --> 00:16:43.709
Sweet, mate I never thought I'd get out.

292
00:16:43.792 --> 00:16:47.126
Gas full of Fraggles
Gotta love the NHS, though.

293
00:16:47.209 --> 00:16:49.959
Some fucking junior doctor's
charged me up like a Tesla.

294
00:16:50.042 --> 00:16:51.626
What's the prognosis?

295
00:16:53.876 --> 00:16:58.334
PTSD, SAD and DPDD.

296
00:16:58.417 --> 00:17:00.292
Apart from that, I'm fine.

297
00:17:00.376 --> 00:17:03.459
Ha-ha Only joking I'm just bipolar.

298
00:17:03.542 --> 00:17:05.959
Come here, Jack, I missed ya.

299
00:17:23.792 --> 00:17:26.251
What are you doing? Can't be healthy.

300
00:17:26.959 --> 00:17:29.167
Sweet, mate, they're organic.

301
00:17:29.251 --> 00:17:32.501
Just saying, slow down You'll go mad.

302
00:17:32.584 --> 00:17:37.834
Don't worry I'm already mad

303
00:17:40.792 --> 00:17:42.167
I'm only joking

304
00:17:45.751 --> 00:17:47.376
I feel reem

305
00:17:47.459 --> 00:17:49.417
I do need to make a pit stop, though

306
00:17:49.501 --> 00:17:51.917
I can't, I've got to go to therapy with Dani.

307
00:17:52.001 --> 00:17:55.417
Therapy with my sister? Fucking hell.

308
00:17:55.501 --> 00:17:57.959
Everyone knows your marriage
is already fucked, mate.

309
00:17:58.042 --> 00:18:00.917
Just accept it and pull over.

310
00:18:01.542 --> 00:18:03.917
It's a fucking court order, Kenny Boy

311
00:18:13.417 --> 00:18:16.042
Sweet, mate I'll only be a minute.

312
00:18:23.001 --> 00:18:24.751
He drops off the bag,

313
00:18:24.834 --> 00:18:27.792
leaving the two young gazelles
to serve up.

314
00:18:31.626 --> 00:18:34.917
At the same time,
leaving them vulnerable

315
00:18:35.001 --> 00:18:36.834
to leopard attack.

316
00:18:36.917 --> 00:18:38.917
What the fuck are you talking about?

317
00:18:43.251 --> 00:18:44.709
Crank.

318
00:18:44.792 --> 00:18:47.459
<i>Numbed out on clozapine
and asenapine,</i>

319
00:18:47.542 --> 00:18:50.626
<i>Kenny Boy was about as in touch
with his feelings as the Tories,</i>

320
00:18:50.709 --> 00:18:53.334
<i>so he reverted to getting his kicks from</i>

321
00:19:00.626 --> 00:19:02.542
<i>The good thing
about robbing drug dealers,</i>

322
00:19:02.626 --> 00:19:05.334
<i>if you're game enough, is they
can't go crying to the police.</i>

323
00:19:05.417 --> 00:19:07.626
<i>The bad thing about robbing drug dealers</i>

324
00:19:07.709 --> 00:19:08.959
<i>is they'll do anything,</i>

325
00:19:09.042 --> 00:19:11.334
<i>and I mean fucking anything,
to save face.</i>

326
00:19:11.417 --> 00:19:13.876
<i>Don't say I didn't warn you, Kenny Boy.</i>

327
00:19:32.751 --> 00:19:35.667
I'd be happy for you to take
the session for yourself, Dani.

328
00:19:35.751 --> 00:19:37.209
No, I don't want to sit here

329
00:19:37.292 --> 00:19:39.917
moaning about that prick for an hour.

330
00:19:40.001 --> 00:19:41.167
Why not?

331
00:19:49.334 --> 00:19:51.626
You know what spins my nut?

332
00:19:51.709 --> 00:19:54.209
He had so much fucking potential

333
00:19:56.542 --> 00:19:58.292
What about you?

334
00:20:08.334 --> 00:20:09.417
It's OK.

335
00:20:10.917 --> 00:20:14.209
You don't need to tell me
anything if you're not ready.

336
00:20:17.417 --> 00:20:19.959
I wanted to go to art college.

337
00:20:20.042 --> 00:20:21.417
He said I could draw about as well

338
00:20:21.501 --> 00:20:23.334
as Stephen Hawking, cheeky cunt.

339
00:20:25.459 --> 00:20:27.501
Have you ever thought
about trying again?

340
00:20:27.584 --> 00:20:28.959
Art college, I mean?

341
00:20:30.292 --> 00:20:33.334
I wonder how that might feel,
to do something for yourself.

342
00:20:36.042 --> 00:20:37.834
Just something to consider.

343
00:20:40.584 --> 00:20:43.792
Have probation suggested
couples workshops?

344
00:20:43.876 --> 00:20:47.584
I'd imagine he'd rather give
his cocaine to the homeless.

345
00:20:47.667 --> 00:20:50.626
Well, they can be really transformative.

346
00:20:50.709 --> 00:20:53.209
And remember, if he doesn't attend,

347
00:20:53.292 --> 00:20:55.084
the court will hear about it.

348
00:20:56.417 --> 00:20:59.501
He's a wanker, but he's trying

349
00:21:12.751 --> 00:21:15.084
Oh, Komodo dragon, my favourite.

350
00:21:15.167 --> 00:21:16.626
Here, have that, you pair of cunts

351
00:21:18.126 --> 00:21:19.209
Have your Komodo dragon.

352
00:21:19.292 --> 00:21:20.876
Here you are, here's four giraffes.

353
00:21:24.417 --> 00:21:27.001
Health farm did him a lot of good, then!

354
00:21:27.084 --> 00:21:29.167
He's fucking doolally, Rog

355
00:21:29.251 --> 00:21:31.709
I gotta make sure he stays out of trouble.

356
00:21:32.667 --> 00:21:34.251
Funny place to bring him, Jack.

357
00:21:34.334 --> 00:21:36.626
Everyone's washed their hands
of him Poor kid.

358
00:21:36.709 --> 00:21:38.376
This way, I can keep my eye on him.

359
00:21:38.459 --> 00:21:40.917
Ain't you supposed to be
going to therapy?

360
00:21:41.001 --> 00:21:42.376
I'm sweet, mate

361
00:21:42.459 --> 00:21:45.209
I've not had a booze or a sniff in a week.

362
00:21:46.251 --> 00:21:47.751
Proud of you, mush.

363
00:21:51.001 --> 00:21:52.459
Fuck are you staring at?

364
00:21:52.542 --> 00:21:54.501
I'm watching your back, you little mug.

365
00:21:54.584 --> 00:21:57.626
You look like a bacon lurking
outside a primary school

366
00:21:59.667 --> 00:22:01.626
Fucking bacon!

367
00:22:01.709 --> 00:22:03.459
Pipe down, you.

368
00:22:03.834 --> 00:22:07.042
Right, I'm going khazi Come out the way.

369
00:22:12.417 --> 00:22:15.126
- How much are you buying?
- Hold tight

370
00:22:15.209 --> 00:22:17.292
I'm not sure that's a good idea, Ken.

371
00:22:17.376 --> 00:22:20.042
Oh, fuck him, he's a fucking
boring cunt anyway.

372
00:22:20.792 --> 00:22:22.834
Fuck him, he's a Jils anyway.

373
00:22:23.792 --> 00:22:27.167
I know I know I shouldn't be here.

374
00:22:27.251 --> 00:22:29.959
But at least my mates have got my back.

375
00:22:45.709 --> 00:22:47.626
How, uh, how are you getting on
with the missus?

376
00:22:47.709 --> 00:22:49.709
She's doing my fucking swede, mate

377
00:22:49.792 --> 00:22:52.126
I told her, "Take the kids to
Center Parcs for the weekend,

378
00:22:52.209 --> 00:22:54.042
I'm going Tranmere"
She goes, "Tranmere?"

379
00:22:54.126 --> 00:22:56.584
"Sounds like a fucking
highly flammable fabric"

380
00:22:58.376 --> 00:23:00.542
I said, "I couldn't give
a fuck, love I'm out".

381
00:23:00.626 --> 00:23:03.876
And when I say out, I mean <i>out</i> out.

382
00:23:03.959 --> 00:23:06.292
She goes, "What about
the kids' bedtime story?"

383
00:23:06.376 --> 00:23:08.751
I goes, "It'll be a good morning
story if I'm lucky"

384
00:23:08.834 --> 00:23:10.334
"I'm gonna get fucking spangled."

385
00:23:10.417 --> 00:23:12.376
You all right, Jack?

386
00:23:12.459 --> 00:23:14.376
You look like you've got the horrors.

387
00:23:15.084 --> 00:23:18.084
Naughty bit of orange juice,
this, Ken Cunt.

388
00:23:21.709 --> 00:23:24.584
<i>Tranmere,
the only place in the UK</i>

389
00:23:24.667 --> 00:23:27.209
<i>that still looks like an Eastern
Bloc country from the '80s.</i>

390
00:23:27.292 --> 00:23:31.376
<i>The poorer cousins of Liverpool,
if you can imagine such a place.</i>

391
00:23:31.459 --> 00:23:33.751
<i>Population of around 200,000,</i>

392
00:23:33.834 --> 00:23:36.792
<i>most of them on smack
or mobility scooters.</i>

393
00:23:37.376 --> 00:23:39.626
<i>But still, they got a good firm,</i>

394
00:23:39.709 --> 00:23:41.209
<i>as Vinny is about to find out.</i>

395
00:23:42.001 --> 00:23:43.584
You can pretend that we don't exist,

396
00:23:43.667 --> 00:23:45.542
put us in England's bin of undesirables,

397
00:23:45.626 --> 00:23:47.876
but like a fatal car crash,
you can't help but watch us

398
00:23:47.959 --> 00:23:49.459
from the safety of your own vehicles.

399
00:23:49.542 --> 00:23:51.209
Get on that.

400
00:23:54.584 --> 00:23:55.834
Vin!

401
00:23:59.626 --> 00:24:01.126
Come on then - Come on then!

402
00:24:01.209 --> 00:24:03.917
You fucking want it or what?

403
00:24:20.876 --> 00:24:23.126
Get these fuckers! Come on!

404
00:24:46.459 --> 00:24:48.917
I'm going to fucking kill you, you cock!

405
00:24:49.001 --> 00:24:50.667
You are fucking dead!

406
00:24:51.126 --> 00:24:52.542
Fucking mad

407
00:24:59.376 --> 00:25:02.042
<i>Welcome to London Bathrooms.</i>

408
00:25:02.126 --> 00:25:06.334
<i>Please ensure you keep
the premises clean at all times.</i>

409
00:25:06.417 --> 00:25:08.084
<i>And most importantly,</i>

410
00:25:08.167 --> 00:25:09.834
<i>enjoy your stay.</i>

411
00:25:09.917 --> 00:25:12.001
Enjoy your stay?

412
00:25:13.042 --> 00:25:15.667
This gas barely fit
for homeless smackheads.

413
00:25:16.959 --> 00:25:19.167
<i>Jack Sniff that dickie</i>

414
00:25:19.251 --> 00:25:21.876
<i>and there's no telling where you'll land.</i>

415
00:25:21.959 --> 00:25:25.042
Don't worry I know what I'm doing.

416
00:25:25.751 --> 00:25:28.084
<i>Do you really?</i>

417
00:25:28.167 --> 00:25:31.626
<i>Open this can of worms
and you may never come back.</i>

418
00:25:31.709 --> 00:25:35.167
Listen, love, I'm sweet <i>- Are you?</i>

419
00:25:35.251 --> 00:25:37.501
<i>Mid-40s with a belly hanging
over your jeans,</i>

420
00:25:37.584 --> 00:25:41.459
<i>a tiny cock and six weeks
to sort your life out?</i>

421
00:25:41.542 --> 00:25:45.542
Yeah? At least I'm not the one
stuck in a fucking toilet.

422
00:25:46.417 --> 00:25:49.042
<i>Aren't you?</i>

423
00:25:52.542 --> 00:25:53.709
Yeah, all right.

424
00:25:54.959 --> 00:25:57.459
Things ain't going too well
for me at the moment.

425
00:25:57.542 --> 00:25:58.959
<i>Me neither.</i>

426
00:25:59.459 --> 00:26:01.292
I used to have something about me

427
00:26:01.376 --> 00:26:04.751
<i>I used to work in the lift
at the Hilton, Park Lane.</i>

428
00:26:05.542 --> 00:26:07.709
I'm just a stain on society.

429
00:26:07.792 --> 00:26:10.376
No one wants my type around anymore.

430
00:26:11.042 --> 00:26:12.834
My optics are all wrong.

431
00:26:14.334 --> 00:26:16.501
And no one will care if I'm gone.

432
00:26:19.042 --> 00:26:21.292
<i>Fuck it You're probably right</i>

433
00:26:21.376 --> 00:26:25.334
<i>I mean, look at the state
of you, you two-bob cunt</i>

434
00:26:38.584 --> 00:26:40.126
Do you think he's OK?

435
00:26:42.001 --> 00:26:43.834
He looks dead.

436
00:26:43.917 --> 00:26:45.876
Chance'd be a fine thing.

437
00:26:45.959 --> 00:26:47.209
Do you know him?

438
00:26:48.626 --> 00:26:51.542
Christ I'm sorry
Is there anything that I can do?

439
00:26:51.626 --> 00:26:53.334
Hmm Kill him and marry me.

440
00:26:54.417 --> 00:26:56.584
It was a joke, mate.

441
00:26:56.667 --> 00:26:58.042
Sort of.

442
00:26:58.126 --> 00:27:00.334
Oi Oi!

443
00:27:00.417 --> 00:27:04.376
- Dinlo All right?
- What's the time, babe?

444
00:27:04.459 --> 00:27:06.167
Oh, morning, darling, it's, uh,

445
00:27:06.251 --> 00:27:09.209
just coming up to
you're an absolute cunt o'clock.

446
00:27:09.292 --> 00:27:10.584
Fuck.

447
00:27:15.209 --> 00:27:16.667
Fuck's sake.

448
00:27:16.751 --> 00:27:19.251
Probation have got me
a job interview today

449
00:27:19.584 --> 00:27:21.264
I ain't going to tell you to change, Jack,

450
00:27:21.334 --> 00:27:23.126
cos I can't bear the disappointment.

451
00:27:23.209 --> 00:27:24.292
But I can tell you

452
00:27:24.376 --> 00:27:26.792
you won't be coming home
to a warm bed for much longer.

453
00:27:29.001 --> 00:27:30.001
Wish me luck

454
00:27:30.084 --> 00:27:32.376
I'd sooner Harvey Weinstein
tried to fuck me.

455
00:27:57.251 --> 00:27:58.959
I'm gonna make her proud.

456
00:27:59.042 --> 00:28:02.917
No more dickie, no more booze,
no more fighting.

457
00:28:03.001 --> 00:28:04.334
It's all behind me

458
00:28:04.417 --> 00:28:07.667
I know I can become
a productive member of society.

459
00:28:07.751 --> 00:28:09.792
You just watch me go.

460
00:28:12.001 --> 00:28:13.209
What can I get you?

461
00:28:37.001 --> 00:28:39.792
So, what you been up to
before this, matey?

462
00:28:40.584 --> 00:28:42.417
Bit of dickie, couple of pingers, dab of K,

463
00:28:42.501 --> 00:28:44.292
some Valium washed down with lager.

464
00:28:44.376 --> 00:28:45.584
But no brown.

465
00:28:45.667 --> 00:28:48.334
So, why <i>Ledge</i> magazine, Jase?

466
00:28:48.417 --> 00:28:50.126
Jack.

467
00:28:52.792 --> 00:28:54.667
Sorry, matey, I had a massive night.

468
00:28:57.626 --> 00:29:00.126
I just need a job, I don't care what I do.

469
00:29:01.584 --> 00:29:03.417
Want to feign interest in worthy causes,

470
00:29:03.501 --> 00:29:05.001
overshare your life on Instagram

471
00:29:05.084 --> 00:29:07.126
and vilify people
from privileged backgrounds?

472
00:29:09.376 --> 00:29:12.792
I'm only joking

473
00:29:12.876 --> 00:29:15.792
No, I've got the perfect opening for you.

474
00:29:15.876 --> 00:29:17.251
Like this brogue,

475
00:29:18.459 --> 00:29:20.876
each of you sees and feels the world

476
00:29:21.834 --> 00:29:23.001
in a unique way.

477
00:29:23.792 --> 00:29:26.501
Your own interpretation.

478
00:29:27.626 --> 00:29:29.167
And that's what I'm looking for.

479
00:29:32.001 --> 00:29:34.834
And just a reminder
about our show coming up

480
00:29:34.917 --> 00:29:38.209
where we invite friends
and family to critique our work

481
00:29:38.292 --> 00:29:41.376
I bet the idea of judgement
fills you all with dread.

482
00:29:41.459 --> 00:29:43.584
Well, better get used to it.

483
00:29:44.876 --> 00:29:47.876
Now, I want you to pick a theme.

484
00:29:47.959 --> 00:29:50.917
Movement or love.

485
00:29:51.709 --> 00:29:53.417
Interpret it however you wish.

486
00:29:53.501 --> 00:29:56.167
And remember, the toughest thing in art,

487
00:29:56.251 --> 00:29:58.126
much like in life,

488
00:29:59.542 --> 00:30:01.334
is to be your authentic self.

489
00:30:03.459 --> 00:30:05.209
Find your voice.

490
00:30:08.042 --> 00:30:10.876
Right Ten-minute coffee break
for those of you that smoke.

491
00:30:12.126 --> 00:30:14.251
Though I'm not sure
anyone does anymore.

492
00:30:17.209 --> 00:30:19.792
<i>I'm a ghost
They don't even know I'm here.</i>

493
00:30:19.876 --> 00:30:21.667
<i>And why should they?</i>

494
00:30:21.751 --> 00:30:23.667
<i>I'm just a fat cunt serving muffins</i>

495
00:30:23.751 --> 00:30:25.709
<i>with nothing to crow about
apart from eczema</i>

496
00:30:25.792 --> 00:30:27.167
<i>and a few convictions</i>

497
00:30:27.251 --> 00:30:29.626
<i>I should be ashamed, yet I feel superior,</i>

498
00:30:29.709 --> 00:30:31.542
<i>like I'm above these little millennial</i>

499
00:30:31.626 --> 00:30:34.709
Yo Pain au chocolat, cuz.

500
00:30:34.792 --> 00:30:38.167
- How about a please, cuz?
- How about a pain au chocolat?

501
00:30:45.376 --> 00:30:46.542
Uh, tongs.

502
00:30:53.501 --> 00:30:55.001
That's it.

503
00:31:00.334 --> 00:31:01.459
Safe, cuz.

504
00:31:09.334 --> 00:31:10.917
Fucking old boy over here piped up.

505
00:31:11.001 --> 00:31:12.042
Did he?

506
00:31:12.126 --> 00:31:13.926
Yeah, he's got a bit
of an attitude, you know?

507
00:31:14.001 --> 00:31:15.209
Getting a right zig

508
00:31:15.292 --> 00:31:17.834
cleaning up after these
snowflake shit cunts.

509
00:31:17.917 --> 00:31:21.001
Next one that gets lemon
is gonna get stretched out.

510
00:31:21.084 --> 00:31:23.334
Know the feeling, mate.

511
00:31:23.417 --> 00:31:25.042
So what brings you here, Jack?

512
00:31:25.126 --> 00:31:27.542
Always wanted to serve entitled children.

513
00:31:28.292 --> 00:31:29.501
Oh, yeah?

514
00:31:30.709 --> 00:31:33.084
Desperation - Hmm!

515
00:31:33.167 --> 00:31:35.042
Try six months in this gaff.

516
00:31:35.126 --> 00:31:37.084
It's spinning my nut, mush.

517
00:31:37.167 --> 00:31:39.042
Why do I feel
completely fucking irrelevant?

518
00:31:39.126 --> 00:31:42.751
Cos you are We both are.

519
00:31:42.834 --> 00:31:44.876
There's a new world sailing past us

520
00:31:44.959 --> 00:31:47.126
and we're merely spectators.

521
00:31:47.209 --> 00:31:49.542
On the government's least-wanted list.

522
00:31:50.542 --> 00:31:53.292
Not just white people, you know? Huh?

523
00:31:53.876 --> 00:31:54.959
Here y'are.

524
00:31:57.126 --> 00:31:58.459
What's up, my negro?

525
00:32:08.334 --> 00:32:09.834
You know what?

526
00:32:10.751 --> 00:32:12.667
I ain't nobody's negro.

527
00:32:22.709 --> 00:32:23.917
Here we go, look who it is

528
00:32:24.001 --> 00:32:26.334
I am no one's fucking negro!

529
00:32:26.417 --> 00:32:27.626
Come on!

530
00:32:45.584 --> 00:32:49.334
Right, enough! Get off him!

531
00:32:52.834 --> 00:32:55.042
I was meaning
to hand my notice in anyway.

532
00:32:58.042 --> 00:33:00.084
I appreciate your help, though.

533
00:33:00.917 --> 00:33:03.167
Ooh! My negro.

534
00:33:05.376 --> 00:33:08.667
I'm out of here
Before the Babylon men show up

535
00:33:22.209 --> 00:33:23.626
Spare some change, please, mate.

536
00:33:24.667 --> 00:33:26.626
I promise I'm not on drugs.

537
00:33:27.584 --> 00:33:29.084
You sure?

538
00:33:29.167 --> 00:33:31.501
Well, maybe just a little dabble.

539
00:33:32.876 --> 00:33:34.001
Fill your boots.

540
00:33:36.376 --> 00:33:38.959
Oh, I fucking love you!

541
00:34:09.251 --> 00:34:10.501
I think I'll choose love,

542
00:34:10.584 --> 00:34:13.959
just cos my mind goes blank
when I think about movement.

543
00:34:14.042 --> 00:34:18.251
Doesn't have to be literal
Could be a soul, a feeling.

544
00:34:21.042 --> 00:34:23.709
Could mean immigration
Movement of people.

545
00:34:24.417 --> 00:34:26.751
I find that a bit obvious,
if I'm honest, Vaughn.

546
00:34:26.834 --> 00:34:28.834
Just cos it's more topical than love.

547
00:34:32.834 --> 00:34:34.126
Got a class WhatsApp group

548
00:34:34.209 --> 00:34:36.167
if you want to stick yourself on it.

549
00:34:36.751 --> 00:34:38.292
Just to stay connected.

550
00:34:39.126 --> 00:34:41.834
Sometimes we all meet up,
go to a gallery.

551
00:34:42.417 --> 00:34:43.959
Just talk rubbish.

552
00:34:45.042 --> 00:34:46.876
I'm not sure you'd get me to a gallery

553
00:34:46.959 --> 00:34:48.917
but I'm good at talking rubbish.

554
00:34:52.126 --> 00:34:53.584
Well.

555
00:34:55.501 --> 00:34:57.042
Better get back in.

556
00:34:58.792 --> 00:35:00.459
The youth will gossip

557
00:35:29.292 --> 00:35:31.001
You all right, Jack?

558
00:35:31.376 --> 00:35:34.417
Cor, fuck me You look like
you've had a bit of agg, mate.

559
00:35:34.501 --> 00:35:37.959
What you drinking? Lager?

560
00:35:40.292 --> 00:35:41.626
Spirits?

561
00:35:44.417 --> 00:35:46.959
Or something with a little more oomph?

562
00:35:48.876 --> 00:35:49.876
There you are.

563
00:35:50.792 --> 00:35:52.376
Oh.

564
00:35:52.459 --> 00:35:53.876
Get on that.

565
00:35:53.959 --> 00:35:55.251
There's enough in there

566
00:35:55.334 --> 00:35:58.501
to get Keith Richards
on the fucking dance floor.

567
00:35:58.584 --> 00:36:00.001
Go on, take your pick.

568
00:36:06.376 --> 00:36:08.417
Oh

569
00:36:14.709 --> 00:36:16.792
Bit old for CP Company, aren't you, lad?

570
00:36:19.709 --> 00:36:21.167
Oh, what, this? It was a present

571
00:36:21.251 --> 00:36:23.084
I wouldn't buy this,
mate I'm in me forties.

572
00:36:23.167 --> 00:36:24.917
What team do you support?

573
00:36:25.001 --> 00:36:27.376
I'm not into football You?

574
00:36:27.459 --> 00:36:28.834
Tranmere.

575
00:36:31.292 --> 00:36:32.417
Long way from home.

576
00:36:32.501 --> 00:36:36.417
Looking for someone Was told
we might find him in here.

577
00:36:38.667 --> 00:36:41.001
Eye for an eye, and all that, innit?

578
00:36:46.501 --> 00:36:48.417
This your local, lad?

579
00:36:48.501 --> 00:36:50.917
Nah, I'm just grafting round here.

580
00:36:51.834 --> 00:36:54.042
I'm from Woking

581
00:36:54.126 --> 00:36:58.042
Fucking Woking, lad? That where
all the woke people are from?

582
00:36:58.126 --> 00:36:59.709
That's hilarious

583
00:37:05.709 --> 00:37:07.626
Anyway,
thanks for the quote, mate.

584
00:37:07.709 --> 00:37:10.667
If we need any new barrels,
I'll, uh I'll get in touch.

585
00:37:10.751 --> 00:37:11.751
Lovely.

586
00:37:11.834 --> 00:37:15.542
- All right, what you drinking?
- Five lagers, please, mate

587
00:37:15.626 --> 00:37:16.959
Kenny Boy, don't go near the Fox

588
00:37:17.042 --> 00:37:18.251
I'm coming round to see ya

589
00:37:18.334 --> 00:37:21.834
Kenny Boy, answer the fucking
phone, for fuck's sake

590
00:37:22.834 --> 00:37:24.501
Kenny Boy!

591
00:37:27.542 --> 00:37:28.626
Kenny Boy?

592
00:37:36.334 --> 00:37:37.751
What's happened? What you done? Eh?

593
00:37:37.834 --> 00:37:39.542
Kenny and Buzz, Kenny and Buzz.

594
00:37:39.626 --> 00:37:42.376
Fuckin' done? Fuck!

595
00:37:44.751 --> 00:37:45.751
Buzz Aldrin on the moon.

596
00:37:45.834 --> 00:37:47.834
You need to get him to
go to the moon, Kenny

597
00:37:52.126 --> 00:37:54.376
Hello, this is Jack Jones

598
00:37:54.459 --> 00:37:56.376
I'm calling on behalf of Kenneth Mason.

599
00:37:56.459 --> 00:37:58.626
He's gone completely fucking spastic.

600
00:37:58.709 --> 00:38:00.042
<i>We don't use that term anymore.</i>

601
00:38:00.126 --> 00:38:01.376
No, I do apologise.

602
00:38:01.459 --> 00:38:03.126
He's having one of
them mental episodes.

603
00:38:03.209 --> 00:38:05.001
<i>Find where he keeps his meds</i> - Yes.

604
00:38:05.084 --> 00:38:06.709
<i>Find the blue pills, chlorpromazine,</i>

605
00:38:06.792 --> 00:38:07.917
<i>give him three of those.</i>

606
00:38:09.876 --> 00:38:12.126
You all right, boy? Eh?

607
00:38:15.709 --> 00:38:16.917
Come here Come here.

608
00:38:17.001 --> 00:38:19.459
Come on, come here That's
Come here, that's it, mate.

609
00:38:19.542 --> 00:38:21.584
Right, here you are Eat these.

610
00:38:21.667 --> 00:38:23.459
Here you are, come here That's it.

611
00:38:23.542 --> 00:38:25.001
That's it, eat that Eat 'em.

612
00:38:25.084 --> 00:38:26.792
They're gonna kick in lively, them, boy.

613
00:38:26.876 --> 00:38:29.917
Don't worry, I'm here
That's it, there you go.

614
00:38:30.001 --> 00:38:31.709
That's it.

615
00:38:31.792 --> 00:38:34.209
Jack,
what's happening to me?

616
00:38:34.292 --> 00:38:36.334
It's all right, I'm here
It don't matter.

617
00:38:36.417 --> 00:38:37.959
Was I out of my head again?

618
00:38:38.042 --> 00:38:43.792
Kenny and Buzz Kenny and Buzz
Kenny and Buzz.

619
00:38:43.876 --> 00:38:46.001
Don't you worry I'm here for you

620
00:38:46.084 --> 00:38:48.417
I ain't gonna leave ya.

621
00:38:48.501 --> 00:38:51.917
Breathe Breathe

622
00:39:03.501 --> 00:39:04.751
Jack, I love you,

623
00:39:04.834 --> 00:39:07.834
but I ain't got a fucking clue
what you're talking about, mate.

624
00:39:07.917 --> 00:39:10.126
He was laying on
the fucking penny having a fit

625
00:39:10.209 --> 00:39:12.792
when I got round there, the poor cunt.

626
00:39:12.876 --> 00:39:15.042
He's proper ill - Who?

627
00:39:15.126 --> 00:39:18.376
Kenny Boy - Yeah? Got a note on ya?

628
00:39:19.792 --> 00:39:21.834
I only flew round there
cos the Tranmere lot,

629
00:39:21.917 --> 00:39:23.501
they was up the Fox looking for him.

630
00:39:24.459 --> 00:39:27.084
He's opened up
one of their boys bad, mate

631
00:39:31.292 --> 00:39:35.501
Fuck me, my mouth's
dryer than a nun's muff.

632
00:39:35.584 --> 00:39:37.626
Hold tight, I'm going to the john.

633
00:39:42.584 --> 00:39:45.292
Deano, get your nose
in the trough, mush

634
00:39:50.501 --> 00:39:53.292
You? Dickie?

635
00:39:53.376 --> 00:39:55.501
No, I'm sweet, boys I I'm gonna slip.

636
00:39:55.584 --> 00:39:57.417
You know, I promised my old woman.

637
00:39:58.709 --> 00:40:02.751
We've got, um couples
self-help group in the morning.

638
00:40:02.834 --> 00:40:05.584
Yeah? Deano's been going to them, uh,

639
00:40:05.667 --> 00:40:08.042
Narcotics Anonymous meetings,
ain't ya, mate?

640
00:40:08.126 --> 00:40:09.209
Yeah.

641
00:40:09.292 --> 00:40:11.126
Doing him the fucking
world of good, innit?

642
00:40:12.917 --> 00:40:14.792
See that tricky mug over there?

643
00:40:14.876 --> 00:40:17.792
Just tried tripping me up Fucking liberty.

644
00:40:18.876 --> 00:40:20.959
Straight! Where are they from?

645
00:40:21.042 --> 00:40:22.917
Look like fuckin' squaddies.

646
00:40:23.001 --> 00:40:25.667
Drop 'em out, Vin
I don't wanna get nicked.

647
00:40:29.792 --> 00:40:32.042
Vin, I've already broke me court order

648
00:40:32.126 --> 00:40:34.209
I'll go straight to the shovel, mate.

649
00:40:36.334 --> 00:40:39.084
Fuckin' boom, Vin - Fuck it

650
00:41:12.709 --> 00:41:14.417
Fuck's sake, Dad, wake up!

651
00:41:14.501 --> 00:41:16.376
You're supposed to be
taking me to Granddad's

652
00:41:16.459 --> 00:41:18.959
so I can have a McDonald's
and watch <i>The Exorcist</i>

653
00:41:19.042 --> 00:41:21.834
<i>while you go to couples
workshop and save your marriage.</i>

654
00:41:27.292 --> 00:41:29.626
You're quiet - Hmm

655
00:41:37.001 --> 00:41:39.292
I didn't think it'd come to this

656
00:41:39.376 --> 00:41:41.001
I imagined we'd spend our weekends

657
00:41:41.084 --> 00:41:44.917
considering suicide in Ikea

658
00:41:49.084 --> 00:41:50.501
Oh, for fuck's sake

659
00:41:50.584 --> 00:41:52.504
I need him like a hole
in the head at the moment.

660
00:41:52.542 --> 00:41:55.501
Oh, don't tell him I'm with you,
he gets all didgey round me

661
00:41:56.417 --> 00:41:59.209
Kenny Boy How are ya, mate?

662
00:41:59.292 --> 00:42:02.209
<i>I'm sweet now, mate
Just finishing me cathedral.</i>

663
00:42:04.209 --> 00:42:05.417
Look, I know I'm not well

664
00:42:05.501 --> 00:42:08.042
and everyone would rather
wash their hands of me,

665
00:42:08.126 --> 00:42:11.584
but it really matters to me
that you're there

666
00:42:11.667 --> 00:42:13.334
<i>I fucking mean it.</i>

667
00:42:17.209 --> 00:42:20.292
I ain't got no one else in this
world, Jack, apart from you.

668
00:42:20.376 --> 00:42:22.459
<i>Fucking no one.</i>

669
00:42:24.001 --> 00:42:25.792
<i>So thank you, mate.</i>

670
00:42:28.584 --> 00:42:29.917
I love you, geez.

671
00:42:32.626 --> 00:42:34.501
Yeah, I love you too, mate I love you too.

672
00:42:43.084 --> 00:42:44.584
I'm proud of you, Jack.

673
00:42:46.167 --> 00:42:48.417
You're the only one who stood on for him.

674
00:42:49.959 --> 00:42:52.667
My dad gave up years ago, and.

675
00:42:52.751 --> 00:42:55.001
Well, I can't say anything,
can I? Cos you know.

676
00:42:56.626 --> 00:42:57.626
But you.

677
00:43:00.459 --> 00:43:02.876
Although I do wonder
why you won't help yourself.

678
00:43:06.084 --> 00:43:07.084
Here.

679
00:43:10.709 --> 00:43:13.834
Babe, I forgot to ask,
how did your job interview go?

680
00:43:14.501 --> 00:43:16.667
They fuckin' loved me

681
00:43:16.751 --> 00:43:18.876
How was your day?

682
00:43:20.167 --> 00:43:23.917
Yeah I went back to yoga.

683
00:43:24.001 --> 00:43:25.959
My tree pose is terrible,

684
00:43:26.042 --> 00:43:28.334
and my back's fucked

685
00:43:28.417 --> 00:43:31.001
I just can't seem to
get my leg over anymore.

686
00:43:31.084 --> 00:43:33.292
Sounds like Daddy.

687
00:43:38.501 --> 00:43:39.751
Celery, Ron.

688
00:43:39.834 --> 00:43:43.626
It's been suggested that we ween
him off of ultra-processed food

689
00:43:43.709 --> 00:43:45.459
I've got Deliveroo turning up in a minute

690
00:43:45.542 --> 00:43:47.084
with a couple of fucking Big Macs.

691
00:43:47.167 --> 00:43:48.376
No, McDonald's is sweet.

692
00:43:48.459 --> 00:43:51.376
It's all that other shit you
gotta avoid Know what I mean?

693
00:43:51.459 --> 00:43:54.167
So what goes on
at this workshop then, eh?

694
00:43:54.251 --> 00:43:57.876
Full of fucking rug munchers
and flids, I bet

695
00:43:57.959 --> 00:44:00.084
I'm just keeping me nut down, Ron.

696
00:44:00.167 --> 00:44:01.751
Got to shoot off, we're gonna be late.

697
00:44:01.834 --> 00:44:03.334
Yeah, yeah, sweet.

698
00:44:04.251 --> 00:44:06.501
So what's the apple
with my Kenny Boy, eh?

699
00:44:07.667 --> 00:44:08.917
Good as gold.

700
00:44:10.209 --> 00:44:13.542
Yeah? So what you been up to then?

701
00:44:15.042 --> 00:44:16.751
I won't tell him about the breakdown

702
00:44:16.834 --> 00:44:18.626
cos I know he don't give a fuck.

703
00:44:20.792 --> 00:44:23.251
Chillaxing, really.

704
00:44:25.001 --> 00:44:28.292
Don't you take my kindness
for weakness, do you hear me?

705
00:44:28.376 --> 00:44:30.834
I could take the roof away
from over your head

706
00:44:30.917 --> 00:44:32.792
in a fucking heartbeat.

707
00:44:33.917 --> 00:44:39.001
Anything happens to my Kenny
Boy you're bang in trouble.

708
00:44:39.084 --> 00:44:42.542
Got it He's safe with me, Ron.

709
00:44:45.084 --> 00:44:47.001
Chillaxing, the saucy cunt.

710
00:44:52.917 --> 00:44:56.209
I think I'd probably be the Hulk,

711
00:44:56.292 --> 00:44:59.376
cos I have, like, a real issue
expressing my anger,

712
00:44:59.459 --> 00:45:03.459
and when it does come out,
I go like metaphorically

713
00:45:03.542 --> 00:45:07.126
fucking green, and just feel
wildly out of control.

714
00:45:10.709 --> 00:45:12.229
Shall we give him a round of applause?

715
00:45:18.376 --> 00:45:21.834
That is a wonderfully visceral
description of your anger, Lyle.

716
00:45:21.917 --> 00:45:25.209
Well done We welcome your honesty.

717
00:45:26.376 --> 00:45:28.876
And, Fi, would you like to
say anything to Lyle,

718
00:45:28.959 --> 00:45:32.626
in the spirit of openness and generosity?

719
00:45:32.709 --> 00:45:35.334
Um I see you, my husband.

720
00:45:35.417 --> 00:45:38.459
And it's OK to express your anger

721
00:45:38.542 --> 00:45:42.834
I'm scared but I'm held in this moment.

722
00:45:44.542 --> 00:45:48.709
Now, as a group, we hold this space

723
00:45:48.792 --> 00:45:52.501
as we close our eyes and we breathe

724
00:46:08.626 --> 00:46:09.626
Gareth.

725
00:46:09.709 --> 00:46:12.376
Gareth, have you thought about
who your superhero might be?

726
00:46:12.459 --> 00:46:13.584
Hm-hmm.

727
00:46:17.542 --> 00:46:20.251
I feel like the Invisible Man

728
00:46:22.917 --> 00:46:24.251
This is what ten years in prison

729
00:46:24.334 --> 00:46:26.459
with Prince Harry would feel like.

730
00:46:30.001 --> 00:46:32.001
I transferred to Edinburgh
to finish my masters,

731
00:46:32.084 --> 00:46:34.626
cos I found social sciences
at Bristol overly politicised

732
00:46:34.709 --> 00:46:36.417
if I'm honest - I know, right?

733
00:46:36.501 --> 00:46:38.792
I was doing English lit,
and in the second year,

734
00:46:38.876 --> 00:46:40.834
the syllabus focused on
post-colonial reading,

735
00:46:40.917 --> 00:46:43.584
and I was like, I came here
to learn Shakespeare, bro.

736
00:46:43.667 --> 00:46:46.334
And hunt chicks, of course

737
00:46:47.459 --> 00:46:48.876
What about you, Jack?

738
00:46:51.542 --> 00:46:53.751
- What's that, mate?
- Where did you study?

739
00:46:56.292 --> 00:46:58.751
Your lot don't bother with uni,
do they, Jack?

740
00:46:59.209 --> 00:47:01.209
School of life, blood.

741
00:47:01.292 --> 00:47:04.084
Anyway

742
00:47:04.167 --> 00:47:06.459
Dani, I want you to tell Jack
what you want from him.

743
00:47:10.459 --> 00:47:14.167
- Don't make me laugh.
- I'm not, I swear All right?

744
00:47:14.251 --> 00:47:15.751
Go on - Fuck off

745
00:47:19.126 --> 00:47:20.667
In your own time, Dani

746
00:47:28.167 --> 00:47:30.251
I want you to babysit.

747
00:47:33.501 --> 00:47:35.876
I mean, I wouldn't bother
asking for anything else,

748
00:47:35.959 --> 00:47:38.334
cos it'd be a waste of time.

749
00:47:38.417 --> 00:47:41.501
There's no point in asking you
to be more attentive,

750
00:47:41.584 --> 00:47:45.042
or not so fucking defensive.

751
00:47:45.126 --> 00:47:48.001
Stop telling me how to
run my life better, or

752
00:47:48.917 --> 00:47:51.292
show a bit of compassion
when I'm struggling.

753
00:47:52.834 --> 00:47:54.209
To give a single fucking fuck

754
00:47:54.292 --> 00:47:56.501
when I'm pre-menstrual or ill or whatever.

755
00:47:57.209 --> 00:47:59.667
No, I don't expect any of that anymore.

756
00:48:00.667 --> 00:48:03.584
I just want you to babysit
so I can have a night off.

757
00:48:05.042 --> 00:48:06.334
Yeah.

758
00:48:11.292 --> 00:48:13.417
And Jack, what do you
wanna say to Dani?

759
00:48:21.584 --> 00:48:22.667
What night?

760
00:48:24.126 --> 00:48:25.417
What night, what?

761
00:48:25.501 --> 00:48:26.893
What night do you want me to babysit?

762
00:48:26.917 --> 00:48:30.209
Cos we've got Yeovil, so.

763
00:48:32.126 --> 00:48:37.417
I think Dani meant generally,
Jack Unless I misread that?

764
00:48:40.251 --> 00:48:42.209
How does that make you feel, Dani?

765
00:48:43.209 --> 00:48:45.917
Is being a massive cunt a feeling?

766
00:48:55.417 --> 00:48:57.167
I've got something else to tell ya.

767
00:49:00.292 --> 00:49:01.459
I didn't go yoga.

768
00:49:05.084 --> 00:49:06.834
I went back to art college.

769
00:49:10.584 --> 00:49:12.876
Well, I've got something to tell you an' all.

770
00:49:17.501 --> 00:49:19.001
I'm proud of ya.

771
00:49:25.167 --> 00:49:27.834
And I won't go to football
if you don't want me to.

772
00:49:29.292 --> 00:49:32.042
Fuck it I'm done with it.

773
00:49:42.709 --> 00:49:45.626
I'd, uh, like to lay down a challenge

774
00:49:45.709 --> 00:49:49.167
I want you to consider
going back to the place

775
00:49:49.251 --> 00:49:50.292
you had your first date

776
00:49:54.959 --> 00:49:58.126
Now, it's unlikely
you'll feel the same emotions

777
00:49:58.209 --> 00:50:00.542
as you did when you first met,

778
00:50:00.626 --> 00:50:03.626
but trust the process is all I ask, and

779
00:50:04.751 --> 00:50:06.292
you might be surprised

780
00:50:20.084 --> 00:50:22.167
You can come in now

781
00:50:26.084 --> 00:50:28.751
I thought I might let you
smash my back doors in.

782
00:50:31.126 --> 00:50:32.792
And here's me thinking
I only married you

783
00:50:32.876 --> 00:50:34.334
so you'd do me laundry.

784
00:50:34.959 --> 00:50:36.792
Come and fuck me, you fat old cunt.

785
00:50:46.917 --> 00:50:48.917
- Knackered?
- Exhausted.

786
00:50:49.001 --> 00:50:50.751
- Cuddle?
- Love one.

787
00:51:38.084 --> 00:51:40.251
Gotta go and see a fella from work.

788
00:51:41.501 --> 00:51:43.792
Well, I guess, if it's important.

789
00:51:44.917 --> 00:51:48.334
I can't ponce off your old man
for the rest of me life, can I?

790
00:51:48.417 --> 00:51:49.626
Eh?

791
00:51:56.417 --> 00:51:58.667
Love you - Hmm

792
00:52:02.042 --> 00:52:04.084
Cunt

793
00:52:27.417 --> 00:52:29.643
<i>Thinking the boys would
give me a hero's welcome</i>

794
00:52:29.667 --> 00:52:32.626
<i>for staying sober proved to be
a considerable mistake.</i>

795
00:52:32.709 --> 00:52:35.376
<i>Instead, I was made to feel
about as welcome as Andrew Tate</i>

796
00:52:35.459 --> 00:52:38.126
<i>at the Ipswich Lesbians'
annual vegan lunch.</i>

797
00:52:44.876 --> 00:52:46.459
No Kenny Boy?

798
00:52:46.542 --> 00:52:49.251
He mentioned something about
having sushi with Buzz Aldrin.

799
00:53:03.626 --> 00:53:05.292
Lager for Vinny - Ta, mate.

800
00:53:06.626 --> 00:53:08.167
Lager for Deano - Ta, mate.

801
00:53:09.292 --> 00:53:11.876
Lager for Roger That's me.

802
00:53:15.501 --> 00:53:18.126
Pear juice for Jack - Sweet, Rog.

803
00:53:19.792 --> 00:53:24.667
You, uh you coming football?
We got Yeovil

804
00:53:40.792 --> 00:53:42.209
I'm gonna have a lag.

805
00:53:45.334 --> 00:53:47.542
Fuck me, the geezer's completely gone.

806
00:53:47.626 --> 00:53:50.126
- It's worse than I thought.
- He's shot to bits.

807
00:53:50.209 --> 00:53:52.709
Totally weighed in - Absolute shit cunt.

808
00:53:52.792 --> 00:53:54.959
It's embarrassing
What are we gonna do?

809
00:53:55.042 --> 00:53:56.584
Don't worry about it

810
00:53:56.667 --> 00:53:58.251
I left him a livener in the khazi.

811
00:53:58.334 --> 00:53:59.917
Straight? What'd you give him?

812
00:54:00.001 --> 00:54:01.001
I taped a packet

813
00:54:01.084 --> 00:54:02.685
and a couple of pills to the toilet wall.

814
00:54:02.709 --> 00:54:04.001
That'll liven the Jils up.

815
00:54:07.834 --> 00:54:09.292
That's friendship for ya.

816
00:54:09.376 --> 00:54:11.042
They think they're doing you a favour,

817
00:54:11.126 --> 00:54:12.251
but they forgot how you

818
00:54:12.334 --> 00:54:14.542
almost wound up wanking off
bent vicars for readies,

819
00:54:14.626 --> 00:54:17.751
or selling your son's
christening presents for dickie.

820
00:54:17.834 --> 00:54:19.751
They're not the ones
with a prison sentence

821
00:54:19.834 --> 00:54:21.542
hanging over their heads though,
are they?

822
00:54:54.376 --> 00:54:56.084
What's that?

823
00:54:58.292 --> 00:54:59.501
I dunno.

824
00:55:00.792 --> 00:55:02.876
Smells like pear juice.

825
00:55:15.209 --> 00:55:17.834
Dad, is Mum having an affair?

826
00:55:17.917 --> 00:55:20.251
I hope not What makes you say that?

827
00:55:20.334 --> 00:55:22.876
She said that if ever you
pick me up from school,

828
00:55:22.959 --> 00:55:25.876
it means she's either dead
or run off with another man.

829
00:55:25.959 --> 00:55:28.001
- Uncle Kenny!
- Hey.

830
00:55:30.626 --> 00:55:32.792
Kenny Boy, where you been?

831
00:55:32.876 --> 00:55:34.917
Working on myself.

832
00:55:35.001 --> 00:55:36.834
Is this good Kenny Boy
or bad Kenny Boy?

833
00:55:36.917 --> 00:55:39.334
Always good Kenny Boy.

834
00:55:39.417 --> 00:55:41.084
It wants to be an' all

835
00:55:41.167 --> 00:55:44.417
<i>? First day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me</i>

836
00:55:44.501 --> 00:55:47.959
<i>? A partridge in a pear tree</i>

837
00:55:48.042 --> 00:55:51.584
<i>? Two, four, six, eight,
we don't want to radiate</i>

838
00:55:51.667 --> 00:55:53.209
<i>? Three, five, seven, nine</i>

839
00:55:53.292 --> 00:55:55.459
<i>? Stop the bomb while we've still got time</i>

840
00:55:57.626 --> 00:55:59.584
So glad to see you, Uncle Kenny.

841
00:55:59.667 --> 00:56:01.167
Mum said you had a mental breakdown

842
00:56:01.251 --> 00:56:03.417
and went completely
fucking spastic again

843
00:56:09.709 --> 00:56:11.834
That's your favourite airline,
Colombian Airlines,

844
00:56:11.917 --> 00:56:13.209
cos this is all you order,

845
00:56:13.292 --> 00:56:15.667
"I'd like to have the dickie with dickie,

846
00:56:15.751 --> 00:56:17.876
and I'd like to season it with dickie"

847
00:56:24.376 --> 00:56:27.167
What you doing? I said
I'd let you drive us home.

848
00:56:27.251 --> 00:56:28.626
Hold tight - [turns music off.

849
00:56:28.709 --> 00:56:30.251
See a man about a dog.

850
00:56:35.417 --> 00:56:37.376
Where's he going?

851
00:56:37.459 --> 00:56:40.667
He's going fucking
doolally is where he's going.

852
00:56:48.959 --> 00:56:49.959
All right, mate?

853
00:56:50.042 --> 00:56:52.167
What's happening, cuz?
You got any food?

854
00:56:52.251 --> 00:56:53.917
- What do you want, mate?
- The lot, cunt

855
00:57:01.626 --> 00:57:03.751
Fuckin' hell, they're two-handed.

856
00:57:05.626 --> 00:57:07.084
You stay here Do you understand me?

857
00:57:07.167 --> 00:57:08.334
You don't move.

858
00:57:10.542 --> 00:57:11.751
Dad?

859
00:57:16.917 --> 00:57:19.084
Fuck off!

860
00:57:19.167 --> 00:57:21.501
- Prick! Fucking want some more?
- Oh, mate Mate

861
00:57:25.584 --> 00:57:26.959
Come here.

862
00:57:32.292 --> 00:57:35.501
Cunts!

863
00:57:37.626 --> 00:57:39.084
He's got a fucking shooter!

864
00:57:39.167 --> 00:57:41.084
He's got a fucking shooter!

865
00:57:52.042 --> 00:57:54.376
Fucking run, boy! Run!

866
00:57:58.292 --> 00:58:00.709
I'm sorry All right?
I'm sorry you had to see that.

867
00:58:00.792 --> 00:58:02.917
But you got to understand
that your Uncle Kenny Boy,

868
00:58:03.001 --> 00:58:04.834
he's fucking doolally, this geezer.

869
00:58:04.917 --> 00:58:06.959
What you can't do is tell your mum.

870
00:58:07.042 --> 00:58:08.917
Cos if you tell your mum, I get aimed out.

871
00:58:09.001 --> 00:58:10.292
We know what happens, don't we?

872
00:58:10.376 --> 00:58:13.792
Yeah, I'll have a new dad

873
00:58:13.876 --> 00:58:16.917
That's it, we'll have a laugh
about this one day All right?

874
00:58:17.001 --> 00:58:20.376
Not a word to your mum
Not a word, all right?

875
00:58:20.459 --> 00:58:23.667
- And I'll get you a Big Mac.
- Fucking Big Mac? That's it?

876
00:58:23.751 --> 00:58:26.251
All right, I'll get you
some edibles, an iPad code,

877
00:58:26.334 --> 00:58:28.501
laughing gas

878
00:58:28.584 --> 00:58:30.417
I might even get you a brass.

879
00:58:31.876 --> 00:58:35.001
That was a joke

880
00:58:40.292 --> 00:58:41.626
Good boy

881
00:58:41.709 --> 00:58:43.751
Managed to stay out of trouble?

882
00:58:48.459 --> 00:58:50.334
You were barely in the job five minutes

883
00:58:50.417 --> 00:58:51.959
before a fight broke out.

884
00:58:52.042 --> 00:58:53.292
I didn't start it.

885
00:58:53.376 --> 00:58:55.917
You're 45, not 11.

886
00:58:56.001 --> 00:58:59.126
And what was the reason
you didn't show up to therapy?

887
00:58:59.209 --> 00:59:00.751
Running battle with Tranmere.

888
00:59:02.042 --> 00:59:03.584
I had to look after my brother-in-law.

889
00:59:03.667 --> 00:59:06.042
He's got mental health issues.

890
00:59:06.126 --> 00:59:08.876
It's called a court order for a reason.

891
00:59:10.626 --> 00:59:13.251
You've got two weeks before sentencing.

892
00:59:13.334 --> 00:59:14.626
Show me something, Jack,

893
00:59:14.709 --> 00:59:16.542
anything that will make me believe you.

894
00:59:22.626 --> 00:59:25.459
<i>You never noticed
she was so stunning.</i>

895
00:59:25.542 --> 00:59:27.542
<i>Or maybe you just never noticed
anything at all.</i>

896
00:59:27.626 --> 00:59:29.751
<i>She had so many attributes
that were lost on you,</i>

897
00:59:29.834 --> 00:59:33.334
<i>but above all else,
she had kindness in her soul</i>

898
00:59:33.417 --> 00:59:36.209
<i>which was odd seeing as her dad
was such a titanic cunt</i>

899
00:59:36.292 --> 00:59:38.667
<i>and her brother was
a complete fucking pot house.</i>

900
00:59:38.751 --> 00:59:40.542
Help me with these please, babe.

901
00:59:42.209 --> 00:59:44.917
Years of taking her for granted
had eroded that passion

902
00:59:45.001 --> 00:59:47.167
that burned so brightly.

903
00:59:47.251 --> 00:59:49.626
All that was left was
a love triangle between me,

904
00:59:49.709 --> 00:59:51.542
Dani and dickie.

905
00:59:51.626 --> 00:59:53.466
But the idea of losing her
and living on my own

906
00:59:53.501 --> 00:59:54.792
in a one-bedder in Penge

907
00:59:54.876 --> 00:59:57.626
with just Pornhub
and Nando's for company

908
00:59:57.709 --> 01:00:01.126
was about as appealing as
sitting on Gary Glitter's lap.

909
01:00:01.209 --> 01:00:02.334
There y'are.

910
01:00:06.001 --> 01:00:08.459
It's not lost on me, what you're doing.

911
01:00:08.542 --> 01:00:11.084
- Why, what am I doing?
- Stop fishing.

912
01:00:11.167 --> 01:00:13.292
You know - You mean staying in,

913
01:00:13.376 --> 01:00:14.751
babysitting, not going to football

914
01:00:14.834 --> 01:00:16.834
while you go to an art
exhibition with your mates?

915
01:00:16.917 --> 01:00:18.959
You make it less special
when you spell it out.

916
01:00:20.501 --> 01:00:21.501
I'm joking.

917
01:00:25.417 --> 01:00:27.709
Why are you dressed
as Jeremy Corbyn?

918
01:00:27.792 --> 01:00:29.751
I don't wanna look out of place.

919
01:00:32.417 --> 01:00:34.167
What am I gonna do while you're out?

920
01:00:34.251 --> 01:00:36.417
What you normally do,
wank and play FIFA.

921
01:00:37.292 --> 01:00:39.584
Oh, crap I'm late.

922
01:00:39.667 --> 01:00:41.876
Right, please make sure
he stays off his screens.

923
01:00:41.959 --> 01:00:43.501
You hear me? No screens.

924
01:00:43.584 --> 01:00:45.376
Yes.

925
01:00:45.459 --> 01:00:46.501
See ya, comrade.

926
01:00:52.792 --> 01:00:55.084
<i>You piece of shit!</i>

927
01:00:56.792 --> 01:00:57.959
Cunt!

928
01:01:04.501 --> 01:01:06.584
Aim better, you fucking piss-face.

929
01:01:06.667 --> 01:01:07.917
Shut your mouth.

930
01:01:08.001 --> 01:01:09.709
You mug - You posh mug

931
01:01:09.792 --> 01:01:11.334
I'm not posh - Private school mug.

932
01:01:12.376 --> 01:01:13.459
Yes!

933
01:01:20.959 --> 01:01:22.709
Fuckin' hell!

934
01:01:27.376 --> 01:01:28.417
Oi - Eh?

935
01:01:28.501 --> 01:01:31.001
Oi, let me go, you nonce - Nonce?

936
01:01:34.667 --> 01:01:37.417
Stupid Don't You never take
your eyes off your opponent.

937
01:01:37.501 --> 01:01:38.542
- Oh, yeah?
- Eh?

938
01:01:38.626 --> 01:01:40.459
- What's that then?
- It's a muncher.

939
01:01:40.542 --> 01:01:42.834
You shut up before I put you
in the nose-bleeding zone.

940
01:01:50.167 --> 01:01:53.126
Tuppence Fat, fucking bald
tuppence cunt.

941
01:01:54.584 --> 01:01:55.751
Greedy cunt.

942
01:01:58.834 --> 01:02:01.167
On the dog, go on In the tum!

943
01:02:01.251 --> 01:02:03.834
Yeah, watch out before
your absolute twig arms snap.

944
01:02:03.917 --> 01:02:07.417
You used to be a fuckable cunt,
now you're a fat, bald cunt.

945
01:02:10.459 --> 01:02:11.834
Fucking ashamed of yourself.

946
01:02:23.376 --> 01:02:25.126
It's your own fucking fault

947
01:02:42.709 --> 01:02:44.292
Oh, yes.

948
01:02:46.417 --> 01:02:48.709
Love you, boy I love ya

949
01:02:55.292 --> 01:02:57.209
<i>It's not the hard times that get ya.</i>

950
01:02:57.292 --> 01:02:59.084
<i>It's not the pain and the struggle.</i>

951
01:02:59.167 --> 01:03:01.334
<i>And it's not the adversity.</i>

952
01:03:01.417 --> 01:03:04.001
<i>It's normal life that breaks ya.</i>

953
01:03:18.001 --> 01:03:22.751
Dani, dickie Dickie, Dani

954
01:03:48.626 --> 01:03:51.667
Hi - Very.

955
01:03:51.751 --> 01:03:54.209
We were wondering if you were
interested in joining our party.

956
01:03:54.917 --> 01:03:56.126
Fuck, yeah.

957
01:03:56.209 --> 01:03:58.792
Splendid We desperately want
your vote, and are offering

958
01:03:58.876 --> 01:04:00.667
something radically different
to the others,

959
01:04:00.751 --> 01:04:03.376
particularly in affordable
housing and green spaces.

960
01:04:03.459 --> 01:04:06.417
Good Now where's the party?

961
01:04:16.209 --> 01:04:18.126
Oh, sorry, you're a Labour member?

962
01:04:18.209 --> 01:04:20.292
No, I'm out of it - Fab.

963
01:04:20.376 --> 01:04:22.084
Any chance we can
convince you to swing?

964
01:04:22.167 --> 01:04:23.687
As long as you ain't got any diseases.

965
01:04:23.751 --> 01:04:26.001
Splendid We desperately want
your vote and are offering

966
01:04:26.084 --> 01:04:27.876
something radically different
to the others,

967
01:04:27.959 --> 01:04:30.042
particularly in affordable
housing and green spaces.

968
01:04:30.126 --> 01:04:31.917
Terrific.

969
01:04:32.001 --> 01:04:33.501
Now get your Tory cunt out

970
01:04:45.126 --> 01:04:46.792
I suppose you're gonna
offer me something

971
01:04:46.876 --> 01:04:48.584
radically different from the others,

972
01:04:48.667 --> 01:04:51.959
particularly in affordable
housing and green spaces.

973
01:04:52.834 --> 01:04:56.084
No, uh, we're offering
recycled toilet paper.

974
01:04:58.292 --> 01:04:59.417
Oh.

975
01:05:05.209 --> 01:05:08.251
Dad, can I please watch
some pansexual porn?

976
01:05:09.126 --> 01:05:12.167
You're having a fucking laugh,
ain't ya? Your age?

977
01:05:12.251 --> 01:05:14.209
You can watch straight porn or nothing

978
01:05:32.126 --> 01:05:35.167
Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention, please.

979
01:05:35.251 --> 01:05:38.959
It's now Libby's turn
to show you her work

980
01:05:39.042 --> 01:05:40.584
I chose movement

981
01:05:40.667 --> 01:05:45.292
because immigration is something
that's really close to my heart

982
01:05:45.376 --> 01:05:48.417
I just totally think that there
are no borders in this world

983
01:05:48.501 --> 01:05:51.542
and people should be able to move freely.

984
01:05:52.709 --> 01:05:56.167
And the fact that people escape
war zones to come to Britain

985
01:05:56.251 --> 01:05:58.167
and are made to feel
like second-class citizens

986
01:05:58.251 --> 01:06:00.667
really bothers me.

987
01:06:02.751 --> 01:06:04.667
Libby, can you stop
looking at me, please?

988
01:06:04.751 --> 01:06:06.542
I'm from fucking Dagenham

989
01:06:12.209 --> 01:06:13.751
Your attention, please, everyone.

990
01:06:13.834 --> 01:06:17.084
It's now Dani's turn to show you her work.

991
01:06:23.292 --> 01:06:28.876
So I chose love, because.

992
01:06:31.417 --> 01:06:32.834
Because

993
01:06:36.334 --> 01:06:38.709
Are you all right?

994
01:06:40.792 --> 01:06:43.834
- Who's fucking Vaughn? Eh?
- Fuckin' hell.

995
01:06:43.917 --> 01:06:45.417
Excuse me.

996
01:06:45.501 --> 01:06:46.709
Wanker!

997
01:06:46.792 --> 01:06:49.751
Wanker! Wanker! Wanker!

998
01:06:52.292 --> 01:06:54.001
Wanker!

999
01:06:54.084 --> 01:06:55.834
Now fuck off out of here

1000
01:06:57.417 --> 01:07:00.126
Roger, my old son, I'm out me nut

1001
01:07:00.209 --> 01:07:01.917
I need you to call me on a bit of dickie,

1002
01:07:02.001 --> 01:07:03.459
I want a couple of blue diamonds,

1003
01:07:03.542 --> 01:07:05.001
some pingers,

1004
01:07:05.084 --> 01:07:07.209
something to help me
on the old downwards slope.

1005
01:07:10.709 --> 01:07:13.001
I think you've dialled the wrong R.

1006
01:07:13.084 --> 01:07:15.834
This isn't Roger - Oh, fuck!

1007
01:07:16.584 --> 01:07:18.834
- I'm sorry, Ron.
<i>- Don't worry about it, kiddo.</i>

1008
01:07:18.917 --> 01:07:21.042
We all make ricks, don't we?

1009
01:07:21.126 --> 01:07:23.501
I mean, just look at me
and my Kenny Boy

1010
01:07:23.584 --> 01:07:26.084
<i>I've not exactly been
a guiding light for him, have I?</i>

1011
01:07:26.167 --> 01:07:28.834
No, no, no, Ron, I think
you done the best you could,

1012
01:07:28.917 --> 01:07:30.292
given the circumstances.

1013
01:07:30.376 --> 01:07:32.459
Truth is, Jack, I've been
way out of my depth

1014
01:07:32.542 --> 01:07:34.459
since the missus left me
for a younger man.

1015
01:07:34.542 --> 01:07:37.292
<i>Organic butcher, as it happens</i>

1016
01:07:37.376 --> 01:07:39.542
<i>I've just gone and buried
my head in the sand.</i>

1017
01:07:39.626 --> 01:07:43.042
Underneath it all,
I feel so much so much shame.

1018
01:07:45.626 --> 01:07:48.417
I mean, I know that I fucked
my Kenny Boy up with

1019
01:07:48.501 --> 01:07:53.334
<i>money and material possessions</i>

1020
01:07:53.417 --> 01:07:56.417
<i>I just didn't give the boy
the one thing he needed, Jack.</i>

1021
01:07:57.209 --> 01:08:01.542
All he wanted was my love.

1022
01:08:04.584 --> 01:08:07.209
<i>That's all he wanted</i>

1023
01:08:07.292 --> 01:08:10.667
I think you've dialled the
wrong R This isn't Roger.

1024
01:08:10.751 --> 01:08:12.459
Oh, fuck! I'm sorry, Ron.

1025
01:08:12.542 --> 01:08:14.959
You fucking cunt of sickness!

1026
01:08:15.042 --> 01:08:19.417
You've got the nerve to bell me
and ask for a bit of dickie?

1027
01:08:19.501 --> 01:08:21.876
I fuckin' hate you!

1028
01:08:21.959 --> 01:08:24.792
<i>And if you think I'm gonna
tell you to liven yourself up,</i>

1029
01:08:24.876 --> 01:08:26.167
well, you're fucking wrong!

1030
01:08:26.251 --> 01:08:28.501
Cos I want you to fuck your life up

1031
01:08:28.584 --> 01:08:30.542
I want you to flush it down the khazi!

1032
01:08:30.626 --> 01:08:32.459
I want my fucking Dani

1033
01:08:32.542 --> 01:08:35.584
to see what a fucking wastrel you are!

1034
01:08:35.667 --> 01:08:39.709
I want her to fucking realise
she married a fucking no-hoper,

1035
01:08:39.792 --> 01:08:42.626
<i>a fucking ponce, a fucking Jekyll,</i>

1036
01:08:42.709 --> 01:08:44.209
<i>a fucking messer!</i>

1037
01:08:44.292 --> 01:08:47.251
I'll show you messer, you ginger cunt

1038
01:09:00.626 --> 01:09:04.334
<i>? We've only just begun.</i>

1039
01:09:04.417 --> 01:09:08.251
- Oi, oi, what's happening, son?
<i>- ? To live</i>

1040
01:09:10.417 --> 01:09:12.042
<i>? White lace</i> - Get in, son!

1041
01:09:33.417 --> 01:09:35.584
Fuckin' hell, mate.

1042
01:09:35.667 --> 01:09:37.584
Have a bang on that, mush Yeah?

1043
01:09:37.667 --> 01:09:39.251
Right, listen, Yeovil are en route,

1044
01:09:39.334 --> 01:09:41.584
and they reckon they're gonna
smash up our boozer.

1045
01:09:41.667 --> 01:09:45.042
- You fucking ready or what?
- Yeovil? I've shit these cunts

1046
01:09:45.126 --> 01:09:46.709
I've fucking shit these cunts - Yeah?

1047
01:09:46.792 --> 01:09:48.751
Fucking ready then, yeah? Yeah?

1048
01:09:48.834 --> 01:09:50.917
You're just a fucking wanker!

1049
01:09:51.001 --> 01:09:52.959
You're just a fucking wanker!

1050
01:09:55.292 --> 01:09:56.292
Dani!

1051
01:09:57.292 --> 01:09:59.209
Dani, come on - No

1052
01:09:59.292 --> 01:10:02.251
Dani, come on
Oh, come and have a boogie.

1053
01:10:04.376 --> 01:10:07.084
Please - Oh, fuck it.

1054
01:10:08.626 --> 01:10:11.042
Yeah!

1055
01:10:19.251 --> 01:10:23.459
<i>? And when the evening comes</i>

1056
01:10:23.542 --> 01:10:26.876
<i>? We smile</i>

1057
01:10:28.251 --> 01:10:32.501
<i>? So much of life ahead</i>

1058
01:10:34.084 --> 01:10:39.876
<i>? We'll find a place
where there's room to grow</i>

1059
01:10:39.959 --> 01:10:41.792
<i>? And yes, we've just be</i>

1060
01:10:41.876 --> 01:10:44.126
Whoo!

1061
01:11:04.417 --> 01:11:06.292
Yeah, so keep your fucking eyes
peeled, boys.

1062
01:11:09.876 --> 01:11:11.667
- You Yeovil?
- We are!

1063
01:11:11.751 --> 01:11:13.251
I'll do the fuckin' lot of ya.

1064
01:11:13.334 --> 01:11:15.751
Especially you, you ugly, fat cunt.

1065
01:11:33.209 --> 01:11:34.376
Fuck! JJ!

1066
01:11:45.626 --> 01:11:48.876
Oh, fuck!

1067
01:11:51.251 --> 01:11:52.376
Fuck

1068
01:12:21.001 --> 01:12:22.792
Fuck are you doing here, Kenny Boy?

1069
01:12:22.876 --> 01:12:26.001
I heard you was bang in trouble.

1070
01:12:26.084 --> 01:12:28.584
Wanted to make sure you was OK.

1071
01:12:28.667 --> 01:12:30.209
Like you did for me.

1072
01:12:34.001 --> 01:12:35.501
I know I'm an albatross, Jack.

1073
01:12:36.292 --> 01:12:39.167
You've got enough on your plate
without having to look after me.

1074
01:12:44.417 --> 01:12:46.584
Truth is, you make me look sensible

1075
01:12:46.667 --> 01:12:51.001
I'm a stain on the family We all know it.

1076
01:12:51.084 --> 01:12:53.584
No one wants me around.

1077
01:12:53.667 --> 01:12:56.084
People go quiet when I walk in a room.

1078
01:12:56.709 --> 01:12:57.876
I might be crackers,

1079
01:12:57.959 --> 01:12:59.459
but I can still hear the whispers of,

1080
01:12:59.542 --> 01:13:01.751
"Get him the fuck away from me,"
behind my back.

1081
01:13:06.292 --> 01:13:10.167
The truth is I wouldn't want me around.

1082
01:13:19.626 --> 01:13:22.042
I'll tell you what, Kenny Boy.

1083
01:13:23.917 --> 01:13:26.251
You might think I'm all you've got

1084
01:13:28.459 --> 01:13:30.876
but the fact is, you're all I've got.

1085
01:13:30.959 --> 01:13:34.292
So you ain't going nowhere,
cos without you, I'm fucked.

1086
01:13:36.626 --> 01:13:40.417
No, Jack, you've still got a chance.

1087
01:13:41.626 --> 01:13:43.584
You've just got to go home
and make it right.

1088
01:13:46.626 --> 01:13:50.251
I must be fucked if I'm taking
advice from a schizophrenic

1089
01:14:32.584 --> 01:14:34.542
Hmm Classy.

1090
01:14:39.209 --> 01:14:42.251
- Is that me clothes?
- And your porn collection

1091
01:14:42.334 --> 01:14:44.876
I know what's more important to ya.

1092
01:14:48.417 --> 01:14:51.126
I booked the restaurant we had
our first date in for tonight.

1093
01:14:55.542 --> 01:14:57.167
Please?

1094
01:14:57.251 --> 01:14:59.667
I've already made other plans, Jack.

1095
01:14:59.751 --> 01:15:01.209
Well, unmake 'em.

1096
01:15:01.292 --> 01:15:03.417
How about a sorry?

1097
01:15:03.501 --> 01:15:05.834
Where are you going anyway?

1098
01:15:07.417 --> 01:15:08.876
Art stuff.

1099
01:15:14.417 --> 01:15:16.542
Meet me at the restaurant.

1100
01:15:16.626 --> 01:15:18.334
What, for another night of humiliation?

1101
01:15:18.417 --> 01:15:21.709
No For pasta.

1102
01:15:23.292 --> 01:15:25.251
I don't want my boy
to grow up like you, Jack.

1103
01:15:26.459 --> 01:15:29.084
I'm so fucking sorry for what I've done.

1104
01:15:41.084 --> 01:15:43.042
If you can find it
in your heart to forgive me,

1105
01:15:43.126 --> 01:15:45.292
I'll see you at the restaurant at six bells

1106
01:16:03.667 --> 01:16:04.917
What's happening?

1107
01:16:06.042 --> 01:16:07.626
How did you know I was here?

1108
01:16:07.709 --> 01:16:10.376
Vin, everyone knows
your wife left you years ago.

1109
01:16:11.376 --> 01:16:14.126
Having a party

1110
01:16:14.209 --> 01:16:17.542
- Wanna come in?
- Nah, you're all right.

1111
01:16:17.626 --> 01:16:19.542
Look after this for me.

1112
01:16:25.209 --> 01:16:28.084
Jack, do us a favour.

1113
01:16:28.167 --> 01:16:29.626
Don't tell the other lot, yeah?

1114
01:17:03.001 --> 01:17:05.126
Please don't tell me
you want your drugs back.

1115
01:17:08.542 --> 01:17:10.001
Thank God for that.

1116
01:17:16.626 --> 01:17:19.126
Nah, mate, I've fucked it.

1117
01:17:19.209 --> 01:17:20.834
My wife's gonna leave me

1118
01:17:22.292 --> 01:17:24.417
I've turned my son into a lunatic.

1119
01:17:25.209 --> 01:17:27.042
My mates think I'm a bore.

1120
01:17:27.792 --> 01:17:30.126
And me father-in-law's
gonna fucking kill me.

1121
01:17:31.959 --> 01:17:34.126
Well, at least you've got your freedom.

1122
01:17:38.334 --> 01:17:40.417
I'd help if I could, mate,

1123
01:17:40.501 --> 01:17:42.709
but I'm just a hopeless,
dyslexic, spark-out,

1124
01:17:42.792 --> 01:17:45.667
dickie-sniffing drunk
What good am I gonna be?

1125
01:18:16.626 --> 01:18:18.626
Mind if I readjust you slightly?

1126
01:18:44.584 --> 01:18:46.959
These are for you, Dani.

1127
01:18:47.042 --> 01:18:48.792
Yeah, I'm not Dani.

1128
01:18:48.876 --> 01:18:52.251
Fuck's sake Can't even get that right

1129
01:18:52.334 --> 01:18:57.084
He wanted me to tell ya
he loves ya More than Yeovil.

1130
01:18:59.834 --> 01:19:02.001
I'll just leave 'em here, shall I?

1131
01:20:52.876 --> 01:20:54.042
Before you sit down.

1132
01:20:56.209 --> 01:20:58.084
I've thought long and hard about this.

1133
01:20:59.042 --> 01:21:01.417
There's something I need to say, so.

1134
01:21:16.542 --> 01:21:18.126
I'm a cunt.

1135
01:21:29.417 --> 01:21:31.751
You know that's usually
just the beginning?

1136
01:21:35.292 --> 01:21:38.251
Are you not even gonna make
a promise to try a bit harder?

1137
01:21:41.792 --> 01:21:44.334
And you wonder why
I went back to art college.

1138
01:21:44.417 --> 01:21:45.876
With Vaughn.

1139
01:21:48.001 --> 01:21:50.167
He saw me, Jack.

1140
01:21:50.251 --> 01:21:52.917
He actually fucking saw me.

1141
01:21:53.001 --> 01:21:55.084
You've been avoiding me for 15 years.

1142
01:21:55.167 --> 01:21:56.209
Scared of bumping into me.

1143
01:21:56.292 --> 01:21:58.334
Terrified of being alone with me.

1144
01:21:58.417 --> 01:22:00.459
But don't worry, it ain't just you

1145
01:22:00.542 --> 01:22:01.959
I feel it too

1146
01:22:02.042 --> 01:22:04.126
I wanna run away from you an' all.

1147
01:22:04.209 --> 01:22:06.917
And don't kid yourself that it's
just you avoiding having sex.

1148
01:22:07.001 --> 01:22:08.084
You think I'm excited

1149
01:22:08.167 --> 01:22:10.459
at the prospect of you lying
on top of me for 90 seconds

1150
01:22:10.542 --> 01:22:12.376
while you speed fuck me
like a Border terrier?

1151
01:22:17.001 --> 01:22:21.292
Sometimes I'd rather
just have a wank as well.

1152
01:22:22.292 --> 01:22:24.626
I know how you feel, <i>a more mio.</i>

1153
01:22:26.001 --> 01:22:28.834
And I know I ain't no size eight anymore,

1154
01:22:28.917 --> 01:22:31.334
and my tits are like
punctured fucking tyres,

1155
01:22:31.417 --> 01:22:34.542
and my idea of fun is Wordle
and I think Uggs are sexy.

1156
01:22:34.626 --> 01:22:37.209
But you ain't the catch
you used to be either

1157
01:22:37.292 --> 01:22:39.167
I mean, sure, I was
half impressed by you

1158
01:22:39.251 --> 01:22:41.792
in our twenties, but don't you
think you're past the age now

1159
01:22:41.876 --> 01:22:43.959
where you're a hero
cos you sniff a bit of dickie

1160
01:22:44.042 --> 01:22:46.626
and a top geezer in the eyes
of your silly fucking mates?

1161
01:22:51.792 --> 01:22:54.001
But you know what?

1162
01:22:55.001 --> 01:22:59.209
Despite everything I still love ya.

1163
01:23:01.001 --> 01:23:02.459
I do.

1164
01:23:03.376 --> 01:23:07.876
I mean, yeah, I was tempted by Vaughn,

1165
01:23:07.959 --> 01:23:11.209
if only to remind myself
what fucking passion felt like.

1166
01:23:13.876 --> 01:23:16.917
But I couldn't bear to see
the hurt on your little face.

1167
01:23:19.417 --> 01:23:24.042
So, yeah you are absolutely right.

1168
01:23:25.417 --> 01:23:27.084
You <i>are</i> a cunt.

1169
01:23:28.459 --> 01:23:30.584
But you're <i>my</i> cunt.

1170
01:23:31.584 --> 01:23:33.501
And that matters to me.

1171
01:23:41.501 --> 01:23:44.959
- Carbonara, please.
- Spaghetti or rigatoni?

1172
01:23:45.042 --> 01:23:47.001
Surprise me.

1173
01:24:01.292 --> 01:24:03.459
Look at you.

1174
01:24:08.501 --> 01:24:11.376
I never spoke to a straight goer
unless I was servin' 'em dickie.

1175
01:24:12.417 --> 01:24:15.334
Never read a book, apart from <i>The Sun.</i>

1176
01:24:15.417 --> 01:24:18.917
Never been to an exhibition
We won't count yours

1177
01:24:19.001 --> 01:24:20.459
I've never even had a conversation

1178
01:24:20.542 --> 01:24:22.542
unless it was about drugs or football.

1179
01:24:23.626 --> 01:24:25.834
I look down on people I can't relate to.

1180
01:24:26.542 --> 01:24:29.501
I'm scared of mixing outside my world

1181
01:24:29.584 --> 01:24:33.292
I don't listen to anyone unless
there's something in it for me

1182
01:24:33.376 --> 01:24:35.792
I judge people on their looks

1183
01:24:35.876 --> 01:24:38.334
I want a prize for doing fuck all.

1184
01:24:39.209 --> 01:24:40.792
I hate anyone that disagrees with me.

1185
01:24:40.876 --> 01:24:43.626
And I love the sound

1186
01:24:43.709 --> 01:24:45.792
of my own voice.

1187
01:24:48.417 --> 01:24:50.709
Fuck me, I must bore you to tears.

1188
01:24:53.417 --> 01:24:55.876
And I'm not saying I'm gonna
turn into Albert Epstein

1189
01:24:56.751 --> 01:24:59.209
Einstein Epstein's the nonce.

1190
01:25:02.209 --> 01:25:04.626
What I will say

1191
01:25:04.709 --> 01:25:08.751
is if I can stay out of prison,
I know I can change.

1192
01:25:11.834 --> 01:25:13.626
Hmm!

1193
01:25:13.709 --> 01:25:16.042
For a minute there, I almost believed ya.

1194
01:25:18.626 --> 01:25:20.584
Almost is good enough for me

1195
01:25:38.626 --> 01:25:40.917
<i>Jack Jack, it's Kenny Boy.</i>

1196
01:25:41.001 --> 01:25:43.209
You've gotta come and help me, Jack.

1197
01:25:43.292 --> 01:25:44.751
What the fuck you looking at?

1198
01:25:44.834 --> 01:25:47.334
Them fucking dealers we beat up
are in the pub looking for me.

1199
01:25:47.417 --> 01:25:49.334
They're firm-handed.

1200
01:25:49.417 --> 01:25:52.417
Calm down I'm coming
I'm coming now Fuckin' hell.

1201
01:25:52.501 --> 01:25:53.876
I'm out by the khazi.

1202
01:25:53.959 --> 01:25:56.917
The fucking back door's locked
You've gotta come and help me.

1203
01:25:57.001 --> 01:25:59.001
- How 'bout you, eh?
<i>- I'm round the corner.</i>

1204
01:25:59.042 --> 01:26:01.542
Bowl haircut, this tall?

1205
01:26:01.626 --> 01:26:03.084
<i>I need you to help me.</i>

1206
01:26:03.167 --> 01:26:05.042
<i>- Get round the back door lively.</i>
- Kenny Boy!

1207
01:26:05.126 --> 01:26:07.376
Crazy fucking look in his eye
Have you seen him?

1208
01:26:07.459 --> 01:26:09.792
You've gotta come and help me
They're gonna cop for me.

1209
01:26:09.876 --> 01:26:11.751
Bowl haircut Laugh like hyaena
You seen him?

1210
01:26:11.834 --> 01:26:12.834
No, mate.

1211
01:26:12.917 --> 01:26:14.167
- You fucking sure?
- Sorry.

1212
01:26:14.251 --> 01:26:15.542
Be lively, Jack.

1213
01:26:16.834 --> 01:26:18.185
Just fucking get to the back door!

1214
01:26:18.209 --> 01:26:20.417
Round the back and prise it open

1215
01:26:20.501 --> 01:26:23.042
Kenny Boy! Push, and I'll try and open it.

1216
01:26:23.126 --> 01:26:25.001
- Let me out!
- All right.

1217
01:26:27.376 --> 01:26:28.542
Open the door, Jack!

1218
01:26:31.292 --> 01:26:33.709
Hurry up! We've gotta get out of here!

1219
01:26:33.792 --> 01:26:36.001
It's not fucking funny

1220
01:26:36.084 --> 01:26:38.084
I was seconds away from getting done.

1221
01:26:38.167 --> 01:26:39.292
Them bods had guns on them

1222
01:26:39.376 --> 01:26:41.056
I was gonna get one
right in the cannister!

1223
01:26:41.126 --> 01:26:42.376
I don't need this, Kenny Boy!

1224
01:26:42.459 --> 01:26:44.018
I'm trying to sort out my fucking life!

1225
01:26:46.209 --> 01:26:47.917
Remember me, pal?

1226
01:26:57.417 --> 01:26:58.876
Cunt stabbed me.

1227
01:27:10.917 --> 01:27:13.334
All right All right, all right, all right

1228
01:27:15.626 --> 01:27:17.376
I need an ambulance.

1229
01:27:17.459 --> 01:27:20.417
Someone's been stabbed
I'm outside the Fox.

1230
01:27:20.501 --> 01:27:22.584
Be quick, he's fucking dying.

1231
01:27:23.834 --> 01:27:27.376
Come on Don't fucking die, you cunt.

1232
01:27:27.459 --> 01:27:30.334
Don't you fucking die, you cunt
You dare fucking die.

1233
01:27:32.751 --> 01:27:36.917
All right, all right, all right.

1234
01:27:53.709 --> 01:27:56.084
The defendant failed to attend
his first therapy session,

1235
01:27:56.167 --> 01:27:57.501
Your Honour,

1236
01:27:57.584 --> 01:28:01.376
and also lost his job down to
a confrontation with colleagues.

1237
01:28:03.501 --> 01:28:07.126
However, there is cause for optimism.

1238
01:28:07.209 --> 01:28:10.667
Firstly, he came to the aid
of a wounded man,

1239
01:28:10.751 --> 01:28:13.917
called the ambulance services
And from their report,

1240
01:28:14.001 --> 01:28:16.626
I gather he certainly helped
save the young man's life.

1241
01:28:18.209 --> 01:28:21.501
And on top of that, he appears
to have made the effort

1242
01:28:21.584 --> 01:28:23.584
to find further employment,

1243
01:28:23.667 --> 01:28:28.084
and has a contract with a
Mr Ron Mason's scaffold team.

1244
01:28:29.209 --> 01:28:31.876
In summation,
I recommend the defendant

1245
01:28:31.959 --> 01:28:34.084
continues his probation order

1246
01:28:34.167 --> 01:28:37.126
so he can carry on
working on the scaffold team,

1247
01:28:37.209 --> 01:28:40.626
and indeed on himself

1248
01:28:45.001 --> 01:28:48.251
Not often that this
court hears a good-news story

1249
01:28:48.334 --> 01:28:51.126
I'm impressed.

1250
01:28:51.209 --> 01:28:56.126
Seems like your liberty is worth
fighting for after all, Jones.

1251
01:28:56.209 --> 01:28:57.209
Well done.

1252
01:28:58.417 --> 01:29:01.001
I don't intend to interfere
with your employment,

1253
01:29:01.084 --> 01:29:04.001
so I'm going to leave you in
the capable hands of Mr Fisher

1254
01:29:04.084 --> 01:29:05.584
and the probation services,

1255
01:29:05.667 --> 01:29:08.376
where you can hopefully impart
some of your newfound wisdom

1256
01:29:08.459 --> 01:29:11.292
to the younger offenders

1257
01:29:11.376 --> 01:29:14.042
you will likely meet along the way.

1258
01:29:15.209 --> 01:29:17.917
Good Court adjourned.

1259
01:29:27.084 --> 01:29:30.876
Shame I was hoping you'd get a five.

1260
01:29:34.876 --> 01:29:37.292
Go on then, dinlo.

1261
01:29:37.376 --> 01:29:40.584
Fuck off and celebrate
with your two-bob mates.

1262
01:29:40.667 --> 01:29:42.001
What are you gonna do?

1263
01:29:44.209 --> 01:29:45.501
Nude life drawing.

1264
01:29:49.126 --> 01:29:52.917
Don't worry, Jack, I wouldn't
hurt you just for sport.

1265
01:30:01.709 --> 01:30:03.167
Funny thing, life.

1266
01:30:03.251 --> 01:30:04.959
You never know how it's gonna unfold

1267
01:30:05.042 --> 01:30:06.802
I mean, who would have thought
the two people

1268
01:30:06.876 --> 01:30:08.310
that gave me the most agg in this world

1269
01:30:08.334 --> 01:30:10.001
would be the ones
that came to my rescue

1270
01:30:10.084 --> 01:30:11.167
when I needed it the most?

1271
01:30:11.251 --> 01:30:13.459
Oi - So, to Kenny Boy and Ron

1272
01:30:13.542 --> 01:30:16.251
Kenny Boy, may your wounds
heal quickly

1273
01:30:16.334 --> 01:30:18.834
Ron, may yours last for evermore.

1274
01:30:18.917 --> 01:30:22.876
As for me, I'm looking forward
to a bright future

1275
01:30:22.959 --> 01:30:25.334
I'm thinking of reducing
my carbon footprint,

1276
01:30:25.417 --> 01:30:28.042
steady employment, a Toyota Prius,

1277
01:30:28.126 --> 01:30:31.126
volunteering at the school fete, a Flymo,

1278
01:30:31.209 --> 01:30:34.459
The Rest is Politics podcast,
a beanie hat,

1279
01:30:34.542 --> 01:30:38.334
and walking holidays in
Pembrokeshire with Mrs Jones.

1280
01:30:38.417 --> 01:30:41.376
Sourdough baking, Wilderness Festival,

1281
01:30:41.459 --> 01:30:45.459
Jamie Oliver cookbooks,
recycled Birkenstocks,

1282
01:30:45.542 --> 01:30:49.084
me time, better vocabulary, Wim Hof,

1283
01:30:49.167 --> 01:30:53.959
grassroots campaigning, sharing
family progress on social media,

1284
01:30:54.042 --> 01:30:56.376
vegan cheese, maybe even a beard.

1285
01:30:56.459 --> 01:30:59.751
Just Stop Oil, hemp man bags,

1286
01:30:59.834 --> 01:31:03.417
subscription to <i>The Guardian,</i>
gong baths,

1287
01:31:03.501 --> 01:31:07.417
a greater understanding
of diverse communities, kimchi,

1288
01:31:07.501 --> 01:31:09.959
and generally a little more
love and tolerance

1289
01:31:10.042 --> 01:31:11.792
towards my fellow man.

1290
01:31:11.876 --> 01:31:15.167
Anyway, it can wait till Monday.

1291
01:31:15.251 --> 01:31:17.084
Come on, Jack, liven up, you fucking Jils

1292
01:31:20.126 --> 01:31:22.334
Here look, boys
They're fucking here, look.

1293
01:31:22.417 --> 01:31:23.584
Come on

1294
01:31:44.792 --> 01:31:45.959
What are you doing here?!

1295
01:31:47.292 --> 01:31:48.376
Come on! Come on!

1296
01:31:49.584 --> 01:31:50.959
Come on, then!

1297
01:31:51.876 --> 01:31:54.584
Come on! Come on!

1298
01:31:54.667 --> 01:31:55.876
You fucking knobhead!





