WEBVTT FILE

1
00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX

2
00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

3
00:00:22.666 --> 00:00:24.958
[♪ "Contrasting Strangers"
by The Light playing]

4
00:00:26.750 --> 00:00:28.499
[Abigail “Abby” Flores]
<i>I always knew how I wanted</i>

5
00:00:28.500 --> 00:00:31.041
<i>my first sexual experience to play out.</i>

6
00:00:32.415 --> 00:00:34.333
<i>I'd be effortlessly cool,</i>

7
00:00:35.250 --> 00:00:36.665
<i>irresistible.</i>

8
00:00:36.666 --> 00:00:38.625
[Margaret Flores] Abby? Abby?

9
00:00:39.208 --> 00:00:41.458
Abby, are you swinging alone in the dark?

10
00:00:42.500 --> 00:00:43.749
[dog barking]

11
00:00:43.750 --> 00:00:46.207
Can you take Mom's car
to get some dessert?

12
00:00:46.208 --> 00:00:47.958
The Cruz's are here in ten.

13
00:00:50.583 --> 00:00:52.124
[♪ "Contrasting Strangers"
resumes playing]

14
00:00:52.125 --> 00:00:53.999
[Abby] <i>I'd have all the right moves.</i>

15
00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:55.916
Shit. [grunts]

16
00:00:56.583 --> 00:00:57.750
Number 71.

17
00:00:58.375 --> 00:01:01.665
[Abby] <i>And no matter
how or where it happened,</i>

18
00:01:01.666 --> 00:01:03.124
<i>it would be with him...</i>

19
00:01:03.125 --> 00:01:04.665
[inaudible]

20
00:01:04.666 --> 00:01:06.208
<i>...Max Warren.</i>

21
00:01:07.208 --> 00:01:09.790
<i>With his piercing green eyes.</i>

22
00:01:09.791 --> 00:01:11.540
<i>His killer smile.</i>

23
00:01:11.541 --> 00:01:13.040
<i>Even his neck zit.</i>

24
00:01:13.041 --> 00:01:14.666
<i>Ugh, relatable.</i>

25
00:01:15.500 --> 00:01:19.790
<i>Our first interaction
was like something out of a romance novel.</i>

26
00:01:19.791 --> 00:01:22.124
<i>♪ Contrasting strangers ♪</i>

27
00:01:22.125 --> 00:01:24.290
Hi, I'm Abby.

28
00:01:24.291 --> 00:01:25.374
I'm Max.

29
00:01:25.375 --> 00:01:26.791
Well, goodbye.

30
00:01:29.250 --> 00:01:31.625
I'm Mercedes. I'm your girlfriend.

31
00:01:32.583 --> 00:01:36.540
[Abby] <i>And when we were 12,
he said the words that changed everything.</i>

32
00:01:36.541 --> 00:01:38.750
I guess... Abby.

33
00:01:39.208 --> 00:01:42.082
[Abby] <i>"I guess Abby."</i>

34
00:01:42.083 --> 00:01:45.833
<i>He picked me and I picked him right back.</i>

35
00:01:47.250 --> 00:01:49.125
[server] Number 72.

36
00:01:49.916 --> 00:01:52.040
Uh, one scoop of cherry ice cream.

37
00:01:52.041 --> 00:01:54.207
Gummy worms on top. Double worms?

38
00:01:54.208 --> 00:01:57.165
Oh, no, single serving, please.

39
00:01:57.166 --> 00:01:59.250
Too many worms and I get a gummy-ache.

40
00:02:00.958 --> 00:02:04.250
<i>Every time I go to Harry's,
we have the same conversation.</i>

41
00:02:05.083 --> 00:02:07.499
<i>But this time was different.</i>

42
00:02:07.500 --> 00:02:08.750
How's it going?

43
00:02:09.250 --> 00:02:10.333
Oh, it's chill.

44
00:02:11.625 --> 00:02:13.374
I mean, a little weird recently, but...

45
00:02:13.375 --> 00:02:16.790
Oh, no. Why... Why?

46
00:02:16.791 --> 00:02:21.208
Uh... Mercedes and I, we broke up.

47
00:02:21.583 --> 00:02:23.915
- [high-pitched ringing]
- [distorted] <i>We broke up. We broke up.</i>

48
00:02:23.916 --> 00:02:25.625
[echoing] <i>We broke up. We broke up.</i>

49
00:02:25.916 --> 00:02:27.125
<i>We broke up.</i>

50
00:02:29.041 --> 00:02:34.957
<i>♪ Yes, I know he's the one ♪</i>

51
00:02:34.958 --> 00:02:40.791
<i>♪ The one my heart has won... ♪</i>

52
00:02:42.333 --> 00:02:47.207
Please welcome for the first time
as people in a marriage,

53
00:02:47.208 --> 00:02:49.124
Mr. and Mrs. Warren.

54
00:02:49.125 --> 00:02:52.082
[bystanders cheering]

55
00:02:52.083 --> 00:02:57.540
<i>♪ You know it's been so long ♪</i>

56
00:02:57.541 --> 00:03:02.875
<i>♪ My heart is waiting here ♪</i>

57
00:03:04.291 --> 00:03:06.249
I wanna be with you for, like,
forever and shit.

58
00:03:06.250 --> 00:03:09.832
Oh, Max, I... I wanna kiss you
for the rest of my life.

59
00:03:09.833 --> 00:03:11.749
God, I hope you practiced on your hand.

60
00:03:11.750 --> 00:03:12.832
[Abby] Oh, I have.

61
00:03:12.833 --> 00:03:14.541
I really have.

62
00:03:16.458 --> 00:03:19.499
<i>♪ Each night I pray for you ♪</i>

63
00:03:19.500 --> 00:03:20.749
<i>♪ Before I... ♪</i>

64
00:03:20.750 --> 00:03:22.374
[realtor] Sign here
for your house mortgage.

65
00:03:22.375 --> 00:03:25.207
<i>♪ I pray the God above ♪</i>

66
00:03:25.208 --> 00:03:28.999
<i>- ♪ Will keep you safe for me ♪</i>
- [crowd cheering]

67
00:03:29.000 --> 00:03:30.582
<i>- ♪ Yes, I know... ♪</i>
- [nurse] It's a girl.

68
00:03:30.583 --> 00:03:32.415
Congratulations.

69
00:03:32.416 --> 00:03:33.957
What should we name her?

70
00:03:33.958 --> 00:03:35.415
Mercedes?

71
00:03:35.416 --> 00:03:36.624
That's fucked up.

72
00:03:36.625 --> 00:03:39.375
<i>♪ ...my heart has won ♪</i>

73
00:03:40.916 --> 00:03:42.082
<i>♪ Your love-- ♪</i>

74
00:03:42.083 --> 00:03:43.165
Number 73.

75
00:03:43.166 --> 00:03:44.749
- [crickets chirping]
- [people chattering]

76
00:03:44.750 --> 00:03:45.916
Number 73.

77
00:03:47.791 --> 00:03:49.249
Sorry about you and Mercedes.

78
00:03:49.250 --> 00:03:50.708
Oh, it's cool.

79
00:03:52.041 --> 00:03:53.082
Thanks.

80
00:03:53.083 --> 00:03:55.250
Oh, uh, can I also get
a couple pints of...

81
00:03:56.416 --> 00:03:58.625
- "How's it going?"
- Oh! The other side.

82
00:04:01.416 --> 00:04:03.707
Two pints coming right up, Cherry Worms.

83
00:04:03.708 --> 00:04:06.708
[♪ slow, classical music playing]

84
00:04:07.958 --> 00:04:09.082
[♪ music warbles and stops]

85
00:04:09.083 --> 00:04:12.915
[Abby] <i>Somewhere between
Cherry Worms and my driveway, reality hit.</i>

86
00:04:12.916 --> 00:04:14.957
<i>Even with Max being newly single,</i>

87
00:04:14.958 --> 00:04:17.040
<i>why would he ever choose me?</i>

88
00:04:17.041 --> 00:04:20.124
<i>In my sexual fantasy,
we never did anything</i>

89
00:04:20.125 --> 00:04:22.415
<i>because I've never done anything.</i>

90
00:04:22.416 --> 00:04:24.416
<i>I just needed a step
in the right direction.</i>

91
00:04:25.125 --> 00:04:27.790
- [♪ "French Girl" by AXS Music playing]
- Shit.

92
00:04:27.791 --> 00:04:29.749
<i>- I go to St. Bernadette's.</i>
- [car horn honks]

93
00:04:29.750 --> 00:04:31.082
- [tires screech]
- [driver] Move!

94
00:04:31.083 --> 00:04:34.332
[Abby] <i>A private,
Catholic rich-kid school</i>

95
00:04:34.333 --> 00:04:36.874
<i>where stuff like this is normal.</i>

96
00:04:36.875 --> 00:04:37.999
[group grunting]

97
00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:40.875
[♪ "French Girl" continues playing]

98
00:04:42.458 --> 00:04:44.916
[students chattering]

99
00:04:46.250 --> 00:04:47.540
[student] Don't cry, Mercedes.

100
00:04:47.541 --> 00:04:49.207
[voice breaking]
I thought Max was the one.

101
00:04:49.208 --> 00:04:51.540
We were supposed to get married

102
00:04:51.541 --> 00:04:54.625
and have a baby and a house mortgage.

103
00:04:55.041 --> 00:04:56.665
[Mercedes crying]

104
00:04:56.666 --> 00:04:58.291
It's not fair. I'm pretty.

105
00:05:00.458 --> 00:05:02.875
[♪ "French Girl" continues]

106
00:05:06.458 --> 00:05:08.165
[Abby] <i>At St. Bernadette's,</i>

107
00:05:08.166 --> 00:05:11.624
<i>every kid is named
after an apostle or a luxury brand.</i>

108
00:05:11.625 --> 00:05:12.707
[teacher] Luke?

109
00:05:12.708 --> 00:05:14.000
Paul?

110
00:05:14.958 --> 00:05:15.958
Tiffany?

111
00:05:16.458 --> 00:05:18.458
Chanel? Max?

112
00:05:19.083 --> 00:05:20.499
[Abby] <i>Max was different.</i>

113
00:05:20.500 --> 00:05:22.666
<i>If I wanted him,
I had to think outside the box.</i>

114
00:05:23.375 --> 00:05:24.374
[student] Psst!

115
00:05:24.375 --> 00:05:25.791
[teacher] Gucci?

116
00:05:27.208 --> 00:05:28.332
Matthew?

117
00:05:28.333 --> 00:05:30.291
Hey. Pass it to Dior.

118
00:05:31.041 --> 00:05:33.707
[teacher] Dolce? John?

119
00:05:33.708 --> 00:05:34.999
[♪ "French Girl" continues]

120
00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:37.790
[Abby] <i>At my school if you wanted
answers to life's questions,</i>

121
00:05:37.791 --> 00:05:40.999
<i>most pray to a bearded ghost-gentleman.</i>

122
00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:44.332
<i>I turn to a much more reliable
source of information.</i>

123
00:05:44.333 --> 00:05:49.082
<i>Our school mascot,
the St. Bernard, AKA Bernie.</i>

124
00:05:49.083 --> 00:05:52.165
<i>People often forget there's a person
under all that costume.</i>

125
00:05:52.166 --> 00:05:54.082
<i>So he hears it all.</i>

126
00:05:54.083 --> 00:05:57.374
[Bernie] So, you wanna get with Max
now that he's single.

127
00:05:57.375 --> 00:05:58.707
Tell me what you know.

128
00:05:58.708 --> 00:06:01.124
<i>This wasn't the first time
I used the mascot</i>

129
00:06:01.125 --> 00:06:03.124
<i>for Max-related knowledge.</i>

130
00:06:03.125 --> 00:06:05.749
Max Warren. Tell me what you know.

131
00:06:05.750 --> 00:06:07.624
[7-year-old Bernie]
His Mom works at Bank of America.

132
00:06:07.625 --> 00:06:09.332
His Uncle, missing.

133
00:06:09.333 --> 00:06:10.999
No one's seen him since Lent.

134
00:06:11.000 --> 00:06:13.915
His Uncle gave up soda
and then he was gone.

135
00:06:13.916 --> 00:06:16.208
Do you think I have a chance?

136
00:06:18.250 --> 00:06:19.332
[7-year-old Bernie]
No.

137
00:06:19.333 --> 00:06:21.375
[♪ "French Girl" continues playing]

138
00:06:22.250 --> 00:06:23.625
- [player] Heads up!
- [ball thumps]

139
00:06:24.875 --> 00:06:26.499
I heard Mercedes might be moving.

140
00:06:26.500 --> 00:06:28.874
[Junior Bernie] She was, but then
Max convinced her father

141
00:06:28.875 --> 00:06:32.207
that St. Bernadette's would provide
a more faith-forward upbringing.

142
00:06:32.208 --> 00:06:33.583
Goddammit.

143
00:06:35.625 --> 00:06:36.915
- [player] Heads up!
- [ball thumps]

144
00:06:36.916 --> 00:06:39.332
I need to know how I can
get with Max before we graduate

145
00:06:39.333 --> 00:06:40.915
and potentially never
see each other again.

146
00:06:40.916 --> 00:06:43.082
[players chattering]

147
00:06:43.083 --> 00:06:45.665
He's all I've ever wanted,
I'll do whatever it takes.

148
00:06:45.666 --> 00:06:48.000
[Bernie] And what is in it for <i>moi?</i>

149
00:06:51.958 --> 00:06:54.541
Um, I'm off sugar.
[quietly] I'm on Mounjaro.

150
00:06:55.250 --> 00:06:57.082
- Uh, I'll pay you money.
- [Bernie] Twenty dollars.

151
00:06:57.083 --> 00:06:58.166
- Deal.
- [Bernie] Okay.

152
00:06:59.083 --> 00:07:01.540
- Locker room talk. What is he into?
- [cash register dings]

153
00:07:01.541 --> 00:07:05.165
Makin' out or--
or kissing or swappin' spit...

154
00:07:05.166 --> 00:07:06.915
[Bernie]
[scoffs] Max loves to 69.

155
00:07:06.916 --> 00:07:08.290
[cheerleaders chanting]

156
00:07:08.291 --> 00:07:09.374
Huh?

157
00:07:09.375 --> 00:07:12.999
[Bernie] Ask anyone,
Max is obsessed with six to the nine.

158
00:07:13.000 --> 00:07:15.874
[chuckles] That's all he ever
talks about with the boys.

159
00:07:15.875 --> 00:07:17.750
Definitely his favorite sexual position.

160
00:07:18.625 --> 00:07:20.749
But if kissing is more of your speed--

161
00:07:20.750 --> 00:07:23.040
Oh, no, no. I've... [scoffs] I...

162
00:07:23.041 --> 00:07:25.165
I've had my day in the bedroom department.

163
00:07:25.166 --> 00:07:27.832
I did assume he'd be
slightly more advanced

164
00:07:27.833 --> 00:07:29.290
in the bedroom department.

165
00:07:29.291 --> 00:07:31.250
I mean, he's been with Mercedes for years.

166
00:07:31.791 --> 00:07:35.832
That's a lot of time
in the... bedroom department.

167
00:07:35.833 --> 00:07:37.291
[Bernie] Girl, you gotta stop
calling it that.

168
00:07:38.333 --> 00:07:40.957
Look, you don't need to 69 Max,

169
00:07:40.958 --> 00:07:46.916
but if you <i>decide</i> to 69 Max,
you're his ho fo sho.

170
00:07:47.708 --> 00:07:49.750
I 69 Max...

171
00:07:50.458 --> 00:07:52.958
I'm his ho fo sho.

172
00:07:53.458 --> 00:07:55.458
[Bernie] Yeah, don't--
don't say that either.

173
00:07:56.250 --> 00:07:58.290
[Abby] <i>That was the moment I knew</i>

174
00:07:58.291 --> 00:08:00.915
<i>I was going to do
whatever it took to get him.</i>

175
00:08:00.916 --> 00:08:03.541
<i>I was going to 69 Max Warren.</i>

176
00:08:06.125 --> 00:08:07.457
<i>Sexually.</i>

177
00:08:07.458 --> 00:08:09.875
[♪ upbeat marching band music playing]

178
00:08:24.750 --> 00:08:27.125
[♪ marching band music continues]

179
00:08:29.541 --> 00:08:31.040
[♪ "69" by Todrick Hall playing]

180
00:08:31.041 --> 00:08:32.540
<i>- ♪ When I walk in the room ♪
- ♪ What you do? ♪</i>

181
00:08:32.541 --> 00:08:35.040
<i>♪ I shut that motherfucker
down, down, down ♪</i>

182
00:08:35.041 --> 00:08:36.540
<i>- ♪ And when I bust out a move ♪
- ♪ Bust ♪</i>

183
00:08:36.541 --> 00:08:39.124
<i>♪ They motherfuckin' jaws
hit the ground, ground, ground ♪</i>

184
00:08:39.125 --> 00:08:40.665
<i>- ♪ I ain't got nothin' to prove ♪
- ♪ No ♪</i>

185
00:08:40.666 --> 00:08:42.790
<i>♪ They see me on the news
in my home town, town, town ♪</i>

186
00:08:42.791 --> 00:08:44.332
<i>♪ They couldn't keep a good girl down ♪</i>

187
00:08:44.333 --> 00:08:46.040
<i>♪ Bitch, look at me now, now, now ♪</i>

188
00:08:46.041 --> 00:08:47.624
<i>- ♪ I went from zero ♪
- ♪ Zero ♪</i>

189
00:08:47.625 --> 00:08:50.790
<i>- ♪ To sixty-nine ♪
- ♪ Sixty-nine ♪</i>

190
00:08:50.791 --> 00:08:53.582
<i>♪ Sixty-nine ♪</i>

191
00:08:53.583 --> 00:08:55.332
<i>- ♪ When I walk in the club ♪
- ♪ What you do? ♪</i>

192
00:08:55.333 --> 00:08:57.749
<i>♪ I get them heads spinnin'
round, round, round ♪</i>

193
00:08:57.750 --> 00:08:59.457
<i>- ♪ I know they lookin' at us ♪
- ♪ Us ♪</i>

194
00:08:59.458 --> 00:09:01.832
<i>♪ Me and my girls we the talk
of the town, town, town ♪</i>

195
00:09:01.833 --> 00:09:03.665
<i>- ♪ I'm feelin' so scandalous ♪
- ♪ Scandalous ♪</i>

196
00:09:03.666 --> 00:09:05.749
<i>♪ Everybody servin' booty
and a leg, leg, leg ♪</i>

197
00:09:05.750 --> 00:09:07.207
<i>♪ The old me is dead, dead, dead ♪</i>

198
00:09:07.208 --> 00:09:08.790
<i>♪ You ain't seen nothin' yet, yet, yet ♪</i>

199
00:09:08.791 --> 00:09:10.415
<i>- ♪ I went from zero ♪
- ♪ Zero ♪</i>

200
00:09:10.416 --> 00:09:11.707
<i>♪ To sixty-nine ♪</i>

201
00:09:11.708 --> 00:09:13.457
<i>♪ Mind your business, I'll mind mine ♪</i>

202
00:09:13.458 --> 00:09:15.915
<i>♪ Got six-inch heels to strut ♪</i>

203
00:09:15.916 --> 00:09:17.832
<i>♪ Nine inches to... ♪</i>

204
00:09:17.833 --> 00:09:18.915
<i>♪ I'll sixty-nine ♪</i>

205
00:09:18.916 --> 00:09:20.040
<i>♪ Sixty-nine ♪</i>

206
00:09:20.041 --> 00:09:22.040
<i>- ♪ Sixty-nine ♪
- ♪ Sixty-nine ♪</i>

207
00:09:22.041 --> 00:09:23.124
<i>♪ Sixty-nine ♪</i>

208
00:09:23.125 --> 00:09:25.582
<i>- ♪ Sixty-nine ♪
- ♪ Sixty-nine ♪</i>

209
00:09:25.583 --> 00:09:29.457
<i>♪ Yeah, they call it a runway
but a bitch never run ♪</i>

210
00:09:29.458 --> 00:09:33.457
<i>♪ Yeah, I'm one in a million
I make millions just for one ♪</i>

211
00:09:33.458 --> 00:09:35.124
- [player] Heads up!
- Hey, Max--

212
00:09:35.125 --> 00:09:37.082
<i>- ♪ Sixty-nine ♪
- ♪ Sixty-nine ♪</i>

213
00:09:37.083 --> 00:09:38.165
<i>♪ Sixty-nine ♪</i>

214
00:09:38.166 --> 00:09:40.082
<i>- ♪ Sixty-nine ♪
- ♪ Sixty-nine ♪</i>

215
00:09:40.083 --> 00:09:41.499
<i>♪ Sixty-nine ♪</i>

216
00:09:41.500 --> 00:09:43.040
<i>- ♪ Sixty-nine ♪
- ♪ Sixty-nine ♪</i>

217
00:09:43.041 --> 00:09:44.125
[♪ song ends]

218
00:09:45.583 --> 00:09:46.708
She lives.

219
00:09:49.083 --> 00:09:52.374
Someone took a stroll
onto an active soccer field.

220
00:09:52.375 --> 00:09:53.458
What's that about?

221
00:09:54.041 --> 00:09:56.707
Sometimes when I get anxious,
I nervous hallucinate.

222
00:09:56.708 --> 00:09:58.541
Oh, yeah, I've been there.

223
00:09:59.208 --> 00:10:02.249
I used to hallucinate all the time
when I was your age.

224
00:10:02.250 --> 00:10:05.125
But that's because I was
on an ungodly amount of LSD.

225
00:10:06.666 --> 00:10:07.915
Okay.

226
00:10:07.916 --> 00:10:09.458
Off you go, my dear.

227
00:10:13.250 --> 00:10:14.250
[chuckles]

228
00:10:16.250 --> 00:10:17.666
I'll get to you in a minute.

229
00:10:19.375 --> 00:10:20.416
Jesus.

230
00:10:21.041 --> 00:10:23.583
[♪ mellow music playing]

231
00:10:24.291 --> 00:10:25.790
[skinny dweeb]
So I've been thinking on it.

232
00:10:25.791 --> 00:10:27.332
What should we do for your birthday?

233
00:10:27.333 --> 00:10:29.665
[goofy dweeb] My dad said
he wanted to hire a hooker for it.

234
00:10:29.666 --> 00:10:31.415
Messed up, man.

235
00:10:31.416 --> 00:10:33.791
Your first time is about
intimacy, connection.

236
00:10:34.500 --> 00:10:36.040
Me and Chloe, forget it.

237
00:10:36.041 --> 00:10:37.500
- I wept after.
- Hm.

238
00:10:38.333 --> 00:10:41.541
The one time I performed oral sex,
I was so emotional.

239
00:10:42.333 --> 00:10:44.458
I haven't cried like
that since <i>The Whale.</i>

240
00:10:45.916 --> 00:10:48.374
[Abby] <i>It was official,
every person on earth</i>

241
00:10:48.375 --> 00:10:50.458
<i>was more sexually experienced than me.</i>

242
00:10:51.750 --> 00:10:53.000
<i>I needed guidance.</i>

243
00:10:53.750 --> 00:10:55.333
<i>And that's when I saw where to get it.</i>

244
00:10:57.418 --> 00:10:59.290
[♪ "I Got the Work" by Mega.
and Cat Gloss playing in club]

245
00:10:59.291 --> 00:11:01.540
<i>♪ Look at my tag, look at my bags... ♪</i>

246
00:11:01.541 --> 00:11:04.290
[Abby] <i>I had no idea
what was about to happen</i>

247
00:11:04.291 --> 00:11:06.625
<i>or how it would change my whole world,</i>

248
00:11:07.666 --> 00:11:09.165
<i>but it did.</i>

249
00:11:09.166 --> 00:11:10.874
<i>♪ I got the work, I got the work ♪</i>

250
00:11:10.875 --> 00:11:12.499
<i>♪ I got the work for days ♪</i>

251
00:11:12.500 --> 00:11:13.790
<i>♪ I got the work... ♪</i>

252
00:11:13.791 --> 00:11:17.707
Alright, boys, show some love
to Rhinestone who works two jobs.

253
00:11:17.708 --> 00:11:19.125
She's runnin' on fumes.

254
00:11:19.708 --> 00:11:20.790
She's runnin' out of gas,

255
00:11:20.791 --> 00:11:23.208
- but still showin' ass.
- [patrons clapping]

256
00:11:24.958 --> 00:11:26.874
Guys, if you're a creep,
you're gonna get bounced.

257
00:11:26.875 --> 00:11:28.207
A reminder.

258
00:11:28.208 --> 00:11:30.583
- [♪ hip-hop music playing]
- [patrons chattering]

259
00:11:33.791 --> 00:11:36.582
Ladies and gentlemen, comin' to the stage,

260
00:11:36.583 --> 00:11:38.374
a Diamond Doll's favorite.

261
00:11:38.375 --> 00:11:40.624
She is the muse of Syracuse.

262
00:11:40.625 --> 00:11:42.707
It's about to get erotica,

263
00:11:42.708 --> 00:11:46.040
give it up for Santa Monica.

264
00:11:46.041 --> 00:11:47.332
[patrons cheering and whooping]

265
00:11:47.333 --> 00:11:50.250
[♪ "Boys Wanna Be Her" by Peaches playing]

266
00:11:57.500 --> 00:11:59.875
[cheering continues]

267
00:12:03.208 --> 00:12:06.082
Santa Monica! I'm your number one fan!

268
00:12:06.083 --> 00:12:09.000
[♪ "Boys Wanna Be Her" continues playing]

269
00:12:14.291 --> 00:12:16.458
[cheering continues]

270
00:12:18.375 --> 00:12:20.249
<i>♪ You've got them all by the balls ♪</i>

271
00:12:20.250 --> 00:12:23.249
<i>♪ Causin' waterfalls,
stone walls, bar brawls ♪</i>

272
00:12:23.250 --> 00:12:25.207
<i>♪ Common stalls that cause 'em all ♪</i>

273
00:12:25.208 --> 00:12:27.124
<i>♪ To you, they crawl, body sprawl ♪</i>

274
00:12:27.125 --> 00:12:30.207
<i>♪ Smokin' Pall Malls,
close call, stand tall ♪</i>

275
00:12:30.208 --> 00:12:31.958
<i>♪ Doll, you make 'em feel so small... ♪</i>

276
00:12:32.708 --> 00:12:36.290
[Abby] <i>The first time you see someone
that comfortable in their own skin,</i>

277
00:12:36.291 --> 00:12:38.499
<i>it's almost jarring.</i>

278
00:12:38.500 --> 00:12:42.290
<i>Every part of me felt alive,
like I was on fire.</i>

279
00:12:42.291 --> 00:12:43.749
<i>♪ The boys wanna be her ♪</i>

280
00:12:43.750 --> 00:12:45.540
<i>♪ The girls wanna be her ♪</i>

281
00:12:45.541 --> 00:12:47.165
<i>♪ The boys wanna be her ♪</i>

282
00:12:47.166 --> 00:12:48.874
<i>♪ The girls wanna be her ♪</i>

283
00:12:48.875 --> 00:12:51.082
<i>♪ The boys wanna be her ♪</i>

284
00:12:51.083 --> 00:12:53.083
<i>♪ I wanna be her ♪</i>

285
00:12:53.708 --> 00:12:54.832
<i>♪ Yes, I do ♪</i>

286
00:12:54.833 --> 00:12:56.916
♪

287
00:13:01.125 --> 00:13:03.207
<i>♪ Listen up, listen up, listen up ♪</i>

288
00:13:03.208 --> 00:13:04.957
<i>♪ Voices scatter, listen up... ♪</i>

289
00:13:04.958 --> 00:13:06.332
[Abby] <i>And there she was.</i>

290
00:13:06.333 --> 00:13:08.832
<i>The answer to all my problems.</i>

291
00:13:08.833 --> 00:13:12.041
<i>I found my sexual fairy godmother</i>

292
00:13:12.583 --> 00:13:13.707
<i>in a strip club.</i>

293
00:13:13.708 --> 00:13:16.540
<i>- ♪ Voices scatter ♪
- ♪ The boys wanna be her ♪</i>

294
00:13:16.541 --> 00:13:18.249
<i>- ♪ The girls wanna be her ♪
- ♪ Scatter ♪</i>

295
00:13:18.250 --> 00:13:19.582
<i>♪ The boys wanna be her ♪</i>

296
00:13:19.583 --> 00:13:21.624
<i>- ♪ The girls wanna be her ♪
- ♪ Scatter ♪</i>

297
00:13:21.625 --> 00:13:22.957
<i>- ♪ The boys wanna be her ♪</i>
- Whoo!

298
00:13:22.958 --> 00:13:25.082
<i>- ♪ The girls wanna be her ♪
- ♪ Scatter ♪</i>

299
00:13:25.083 --> 00:13:26.415
<i>♪ The boys wanna be her ♪</i>

300
00:13:26.416 --> 00:13:28.082
- Yeah!
<i>- ♪ The girls wanna be her ♪</i>

301
00:13:28.083 --> 00:13:29.957
<i>- ♪ Scatter ♪
- ♪ The boys wanna be her ♪</i>

302
00:13:29.958 --> 00:13:32.124
<i>- ♪ The girls wanna be her ♪
- ♪ Scatter ♪</i>

303
00:13:32.125 --> 00:13:33.540
<i>♪ The boys wanna be her ♪</i>

304
00:13:33.541 --> 00:13:35.457
<i>- ♪ The girls wanna be her ♪
- ♪ Scatter ♪</i>

305
00:13:35.458 --> 00:13:36.665
<i>♪ The boys wanna be her ♪</i>

306
00:13:36.666 --> 00:13:39.040
<i>- ♪ The girls wanna be her ♪
- ♪ Scatter ♪</i>

307
00:13:39.041 --> 00:13:40.500
<i>♪ The boys wanna be her ♪</i>

308
00:13:41.750 --> 00:13:42.874
<i>♪ Scatter ♪</i>

309
00:13:42.875 --> 00:13:44.541
[patrons cheering]

310
00:13:45.250 --> 00:13:47.166
<i>♪ Scatter ♪</i>

311
00:13:48.708 --> 00:13:50.333
<i>- ♪ Scatter ♪</i>
- Whoo!

312
00:13:52.083 --> 00:13:53.915
<i>- ♪ Scatter ♪</i>
- You 18?

313
00:13:53.916 --> 00:13:56.041
- [crickets chirping]
- [♪ muffled music thumping]

314
00:13:57.208 --> 00:13:59.833
Come on, I'm gonna be 18
in like 15 minutes.

315
00:14:00.416 --> 00:14:01.999
See you in 15.

316
00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:03.582
[Abby groans]

317
00:14:03.583 --> 00:14:05.207
[traffic rushing by]

318
00:14:05.208 --> 00:14:07.207
[♪ muffled music continues]

319
00:14:07.208 --> 00:14:08.875
[crickets chirping]

320
00:14:09.541 --> 00:14:12.082
[sports announcer on radio]
<i>There's two on, two out...</i>

321
00:14:12.083 --> 00:14:14.499
- [grease sizzling]
- [kitchen tools clanking]

322
00:14:14.500 --> 00:14:16.040
[announcer on radio]
<i>...has two outs.</i>

323
00:14:16.041 --> 00:14:17.832
<i>Running the way he's going,
where's the pitch...</i>

324
00:14:17.833 --> 00:14:19.540
[cook] What the fuck, mama?
Don't eat the food.

325
00:14:19.541 --> 00:14:21.832
[DJ Don] Let's hear it for Santa Monica!

326
00:14:21.833 --> 00:14:23.833
[DJ Don continues speaking indistinctly]

327
00:14:24.500 --> 00:14:26.040
What do you mean it could be?

328
00:14:26.041 --> 00:14:28.041
It's nail polish.

329
00:14:28.333 --> 00:14:30.124
But it could be lip gloss.

330
00:14:30.125 --> 00:14:31.291
Look.

331
00:14:32.333 --> 00:14:34.624
- Oh, no, that's burning. That's burning.
- [Destiny] Oh, my God.

332
00:14:34.625 --> 00:14:37.915
Just worked my off for 82 bucks
and a stick of gum.

333
00:14:37.916 --> 00:14:39.540
Oh, babe, your phone's
been vibrating all night.

334
00:14:39.541 --> 00:14:40.624
- Mm-hmm.
- I almost sat on it.

335
00:14:40.625 --> 00:14:42.540
[Destiny] Yeah, it's been blowing up.
Who is he?

336
00:14:42.541 --> 00:14:45.790
It's this lame-ass thread
for my high school reunion.

337
00:14:45.791 --> 00:14:48.124
Ugh. Shut the fuck up, losers.

338
00:14:48.125 --> 00:14:49.999
Oh, my God, I hope you didn't text that.

339
00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:51.749
[Angel] Oh, my God,
wait, that's so fun.

340
00:14:51.750 --> 00:14:52.832
A high school reunion.

341
00:14:52.833 --> 00:14:54.499
What are you gonna wear?
Who are you gonna do?

342
00:14:54.500 --> 00:14:56.457
- [Santa Monica] Yeah, I'm not going.
- [Angel] What?

343
00:14:56.458 --> 00:14:59.082
Seriously, what do I have to
show for myself in the last 10 years?

344
00:14:59.083 --> 00:15:01.540
Babe, so much gum.

345
00:15:01.541 --> 00:15:03.499
[Santa Monica] Oh, careful,
that is so wet.

346
00:15:03.500 --> 00:15:04.582
So warm.

347
00:15:04.583 --> 00:15:06.082
- You know...
- It's like pre-chewed.

348
00:15:06.083 --> 00:15:07.707
...I didn't go to my high school reunion,

349
00:15:07.708 --> 00:15:10.332
but it would've been weird if I did
'cause I didn't go to high school.

350
00:15:10.333 --> 00:15:12.207
And yet you're
the smartest woman I know.

351
00:15:12.208 --> 00:15:14.374
Oh, my God, you gotta go out there
and meet other bitches.

352
00:15:14.375 --> 00:15:15.790
- [Angel] You do.
- You really do.

353
00:15:15.791 --> 00:15:17.290
- [light bulb sizzling]
- Oh, goddamn it!

354
00:15:17.291 --> 00:15:18.915
- [Angel laughing]
- Seriously? No!

355
00:15:18.916 --> 00:15:21.707
[Destiny] I thought I had
another week on that bulb.

356
00:15:21.708 --> 00:15:23.624
No you didn't, bitch.
A bet's a bet, pay up.

357
00:15:23.625 --> 00:15:25.165
[Destiny] Do you know
how hard I worked for this?

358
00:15:25.166 --> 00:15:26.874
Slammed my pussy up and down.

359
00:15:26.875 --> 00:15:28.332
I said, "Bow, bow, bow, bow."

360
00:15:28.333 --> 00:15:29.665
And I got $40.

361
00:15:29.666 --> 00:15:31.707
- Whoa!
- It was worth the vulva bruises.

362
00:15:31.708 --> 00:15:33.207
- Thanks, babe.
- It's not bruised.

363
00:15:33.208 --> 00:15:34.708
- I'm tough.
- Oh yeah. That's a good one.

364
00:15:35.166 --> 00:15:36.790
- Crispy! [chuckles]
- [Santa Monica sighs]

365
00:15:36.791 --> 00:15:39.874
God, you guys,
this place is falling apart.

366
00:15:39.875 --> 00:15:41.540
Seriously, it looks like
we don't give a shit.

367
00:15:41.541 --> 00:15:43.082
How long has that hole been there?

368
00:15:43.083 --> 00:15:44.165
Excuse me?

369
00:15:44.166 --> 00:15:45.875
<i>She</i> has a name.

370
00:15:46.666 --> 00:15:49.207
Honestly, I'm surprised we didn't get
shut down when that guy had a seizure.

371
00:15:49.208 --> 00:15:51.415
Ned? No, babe, Ned's fine.

372
00:15:51.416 --> 00:15:52.665
[Destiny] Yeah, he's fine.

373
00:15:52.666 --> 00:15:53.957
Yeah, on this stretcher he was like,

374
00:15:53.958 --> 00:15:55.665
"Best night of my life. Destiny!"

375
00:15:55.666 --> 00:15:58.415
Yeah, he spends his disability check
on me every week.

376
00:15:58.416 --> 00:15:59.915
[Destiny] Ned's fine,
he's absolutely fine.

377
00:15:59.916 --> 00:16:01.207
I gave a guy a seizure once.

378
00:16:01.208 --> 00:16:03.249
Oh, my God! Jesus Christ!

379
00:16:03.250 --> 00:16:04.833
Betty, you scared the shit out of us!

380
00:16:05.833 --> 00:16:07.207
That's how I got my name.

381
00:16:07.208 --> 00:16:10.207
You know, when I was your age
I was Betty Wetty,

382
00:16:10.208 --> 00:16:12.665
because I made
all the fellas soak their pants.

383
00:16:12.666 --> 00:16:15.874
- [Angel chuckles]
- And then one day, I got hired to strip

384
00:16:15.875 --> 00:16:18.249
for the infamous Tony Scarpuccio.

385
00:16:18.250 --> 00:16:20.165
[gasps] The guy from <i>The Sopranos?</i>

386
00:16:20.166 --> 00:16:23.165
Better. He owns
Little Tony's Meatballs downtown.

387
00:16:23.166 --> 00:16:24.332
Oh, that is better.

388
00:16:24.333 --> 00:16:26.999
Anyway, Tony was going to town
on some spaghetti

389
00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:28.582
when I was doin' my routine.

390
00:16:28.583 --> 00:16:30.457
And I went down to the ground

391
00:16:30.458 --> 00:16:33.415
and I split my underpants
right down the middle.

392
00:16:33.416 --> 00:16:35.125
I mean, bean to tangerine.

393
00:16:35.583 --> 00:16:38.541
And right at that moment, he seized.

394
00:16:39.708 --> 00:16:43.291
And ever since then
I've been Betty Spaghetti.

395
00:16:44.166 --> 00:16:45.499
How is this the first time

396
00:16:45.500 --> 00:16:46.874
- we're hearing this story?
- Yeah?

397
00:16:46.875 --> 00:16:49.374
Oh, shit. I should have
started with this first.

398
00:16:49.375 --> 00:16:50.624
It's why I came in here.

399
00:16:50.625 --> 00:16:54.540
Okay, well, I'm deeply,
deeply, deeply in debt

400
00:16:54.541 --> 00:16:55.790
and we're losin' the club.

401
00:16:55.791 --> 00:16:58.207
- [all] What?
- [Betty Spaghetti] I'm sorry, tootsies.

402
00:16:58.208 --> 00:17:00.040
I'm one of the best strippers
in the world,

403
00:17:00.041 --> 00:17:01.291
but I am terrible at math.

404
00:17:02.333 --> 00:17:03.832
Did you know that businesses

405
00:17:03.833 --> 00:17:06.457
are supposed to
file their taxes every year?

406
00:17:06.458 --> 00:17:07.790
- Yes.
- Yes.

407
00:17:07.791 --> 00:17:09.457
Yeah.

408
00:17:09.458 --> 00:17:10.750
Well, fuck me.

409
00:17:11.416 --> 00:17:13.499
Oh, my God, we can't lose the club!

410
00:17:13.500 --> 00:17:17.915
I tried takin' out a loan,
but unless I pay it by next weekend...

411
00:17:17.916 --> 00:17:19.125
[Angel] Wait, what?

412
00:17:19.708 --> 00:17:21.000
What'll happen?

413
00:17:21.625 --> 00:17:23.040
She'll lose the club.

414
00:17:23.041 --> 00:17:24.540
She'll lose the club?

415
00:17:24.541 --> 00:17:25.874
Are you even listening?

416
00:17:25.875 --> 00:17:28.124
[scoffs] Right?

417
00:17:28.125 --> 00:17:30.624
Anyhoo, I just wanted to tell you guys

418
00:17:30.625 --> 00:17:33.915
so you could start lookin' for a place
to shake what the Lord gave ya.

419
00:17:33.916 --> 00:17:36.875
And... and I give you my blessing.

420
00:17:37.708 --> 00:17:40.750
What? No, no, we can't just give up.

421
00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:44.957
Destiny, when your job
didn't give you health insurance, who did?

422
00:17:44.958 --> 00:17:46.665
- Diamond Dolls.
- Angel.

423
00:17:46.666 --> 00:17:48.458
When your stepdad kicked you out,
where did you go?

424
00:17:48.916 --> 00:17:49.915
Diamond Dolls.

425
00:17:49.916 --> 00:17:51.915
Where do we spend every Thanksgiving?

426
00:17:51.916 --> 00:17:53.624
Diamond-goddamn-Dolls.

427
00:17:53.625 --> 00:17:55.291
Guys, this is our <i>Cheers.</i>

428
00:17:55.875 --> 00:17:57.458
Where everybody knows your nips.

429
00:17:58.583 --> 00:17:59.625
How much?

430
00:18:01.000 --> 00:18:01.999
Me?

431
00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:03.915
My ears are for shit,
you gotta talk louder.

432
00:18:03.916 --> 00:18:05.790
How much is the loan, Betty?

433
00:18:05.791 --> 00:18:08.125
- Oh, twenty grand.
- Twenty grand? Fuck.

434
00:18:08.958 --> 00:18:09.958
One week?

435
00:18:11.291 --> 00:18:12.666
We c-- we can do that, right?

436
00:18:13.500 --> 00:18:15.790
Uh, we could try OnlyFans.

437
00:18:15.791 --> 00:18:17.415
No, I'm banned, dammit.

438
00:18:17.416 --> 00:18:19.249
I'm banned from Facebook.

439
00:18:19.250 --> 00:18:20.958
I don't even wanna ask about that.

440
00:18:21.708 --> 00:18:22.707
It was bad.

441
00:18:22.708 --> 00:18:27.124
Look, book me on any house calls
and I'll work overtime.

442
00:18:27.125 --> 00:18:29.124
I mean, there's gotta be a way
to bring in the money, right?

443
00:18:29.125 --> 00:18:32.291
[DJ Don] Please welcome
the dish you cannot resist,

444
00:18:32.708 --> 00:18:33.749
Betty Spaghetti.

445
00:18:33.750 --> 00:18:35.666
Well, we need a miracle.

446
00:18:36.750 --> 00:18:38.583
But luckily, I'm surrounded by angels.

447
00:18:39.708 --> 00:18:41.000
[♪ music thumping in distance]

448
00:18:42.750 --> 00:18:44.249
- [door opens]
- [patrons cheering]

449
00:18:44.250 --> 00:18:47.666
I mean, there's gotta be some rich freak
who will pay for my time, right?

450
00:18:48.958 --> 00:18:50.540
Who will be the lucky guy?

451
00:18:50.541 --> 00:18:51.957
[cheering continues]

452
00:18:51.958 --> 00:18:54.040
- [video game character] <i>Horse guts!</i>
- [horse neighing, grunts]

453
00:18:54.041 --> 00:18:56.208
[Abby] Alright, let me
take some comments here.

454
00:18:56.458 --> 00:19:00.915
Uh, Brainsbrainsbrains says,
"Hi, Abby-Cadaver, huge fan."

455
00:19:00.916 --> 00:19:02.374
Thank you.

456
00:19:02.375 --> 00:19:05.790
"Heard there was a secret room
in Wyatt's Saloon?"

457
00:19:05.791 --> 00:19:09.874
- [♪ spooky music plays on game]
- Yes. If you go up the staircase,

458
00:19:09.875 --> 00:19:12.207
locate the pregnant saloon girl zombie...

459
00:19:12.208 --> 00:19:13.957
There she is.

460
00:19:13.958 --> 00:19:15.249
...rip out her fetus.

461
00:19:15.250 --> 00:19:17.457
- [character growls]
- [indistinct chatter on game]

462
00:19:17.458 --> 00:19:20.374
...lasso the umbilical cord
around the chandelier,

463
00:19:20.375 --> 00:19:22.957
swing, and you're in.

464
00:19:22.958 --> 00:19:24.916
[cash register dinging]

465
00:19:25.666 --> 00:19:28.082
[chuckles] Okay, I'm signing off for now.

466
00:19:28.083 --> 00:19:30.040
Thank you so much for subscribing.

467
00:19:30.041 --> 00:19:31.707
I'm so grateful for the tips.

468
00:19:31.708 --> 00:19:34.833
So, until tomorrow, good-die.

469
00:19:35.583 --> 00:19:36.583
[key clacks]

470
00:19:38.500 --> 00:19:39.500
Whew.

471
00:19:41.375 --> 00:19:42.874
[key clacks]

472
00:19:42.875 --> 00:19:45.000
- Honey, we're about to leave.
- [knock on door]

473
00:19:45.958 --> 00:19:48.249
Are you sure you don't wanna
spend your birthday with us?

474
00:19:48.250 --> 00:19:50.082
Moving my grandma into a home?

475
00:19:50.083 --> 00:19:52.832
- Pass.
- Okay, okay.

476
00:19:52.833 --> 00:19:55.332
Well, happy early birthday.

477
00:19:55.333 --> 00:20:00.207
<i>- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>
- Oh, awesome! Thanks.

478
00:20:00.208 --> 00:20:02.957
Now this doesn't mean you should
spend your whole birthday on Glitch.

479
00:20:02.958 --> 00:20:04.166
There's some more at the bottom.

480
00:20:05.083 --> 00:20:06.083
Huh.

481
00:20:06.500 --> 00:20:08.415
- [chuckles] Yeah.
- I know it's not a car,

482
00:20:08.416 --> 00:20:10.332
but we're very proud of you
for working so hard

483
00:20:10.333 --> 00:20:11.665
to save up for one on your own.

484
00:20:11.666 --> 00:20:12.749
Thanks, Dad.

485
00:20:12.750 --> 00:20:14.750
Until then, Mom's Volvo has a full tank.

486
00:20:15.041 --> 00:20:16.832
No, I should just take <i>your</i> car.

487
00:20:16.833 --> 00:20:18.499
Absolutely not.

488
00:20:18.500 --> 00:20:21.582
Oh, and Abby, don't be mad,
but I asked the Cruz's daughter Lily Rose

489
00:20:21.583 --> 00:20:22.874
to stop by at some point.

490
00:20:22.875 --> 00:20:25.207
She's been helping me in my CPR class.

491
00:20:25.208 --> 00:20:27.499
Just try. Maybe you'll make a friend.

492
00:20:27.500 --> 00:20:29.624
- Lyft's leaving, hon.
- [Margaret] We'll miss you.

493
00:20:29.625 --> 00:20:30.707
Have fun.

494
00:20:30.708 --> 00:20:32.874
You're still young, throw a party.

495
00:20:32.875 --> 00:20:34.749
But don't forget to put away Lola's china.

496
00:20:34.750 --> 00:20:36.165
She's had that since the war.

497
00:20:36.166 --> 00:20:37.832
[Ron Flores] Margaret,
she's not throwing a party.

498
00:20:37.833 --> 00:20:39.749
Be nice to Lily Rose.

499
00:20:39.750 --> 00:20:41.124
Love you.

500
00:20:41.125 --> 00:20:42.208
<i>Ingat.</i>

501
00:20:42.458 --> 00:20:44.249
Now, be careful, do not answer this door.

502
00:20:44.250 --> 00:20:46.290
- Whatever-- Stranger danger.
- Okay, okay. Bye, kiddo.

503
00:20:46.291 --> 00:20:48.333
[Margaret] Oh, I'm gonna cry in the Lyft.

504
00:20:50.500 --> 00:20:51.499
[sighs deeply]

505
00:20:51.500 --> 00:20:54.916
Operation 69 Max, commence.

506
00:20:55.333 --> 00:20:57.332
[line ringing]

507
00:20:57.333 --> 00:20:59.165
[♪ mischievous music playing]

508
00:20:59.166 --> 00:21:01.332
- [telephone rings]
- [coughs]

509
00:21:01.333 --> 00:21:03.624
[coughing, wheezing over phone]

510
00:21:03.625 --> 00:21:07.207
Diamond Dolls, where the girls are...

511
00:21:07.208 --> 00:21:08.582
I dunno. I can't remember.

512
00:21:08.583 --> 00:21:11.250
[in deep voice] Hello. I am a guy.

513
00:21:12.041 --> 00:21:13.374
Obviously.

514
00:21:13.375 --> 00:21:15.832
[over phone]
<i>Looking for a dancer named Santa Monica</i>

515
00:21:15.833 --> 00:21:19.207
to come to my home this evening

516
00:21:19.208 --> 00:21:21.624
for a respectful dance.

517
00:21:21.625 --> 00:21:23.707
- [quietly] Jesus.
- [Abby] <i>Is eight o'clock sharp okay?</i>

518
00:21:23.708 --> 00:21:25.666
[loud rustling over phone]

519
00:21:26.000 --> 00:21:27.457
Okay, so it's cash only,

520
00:21:27.458 --> 00:21:29.707
<i>and it's a hundred an hour,
three hours minimum.</i>

521
00:21:29.708 --> 00:21:33.000
That's about five hundred, I think.

522
00:21:33.666 --> 00:21:34.915
And you better tip 'em.

523
00:21:34.916 --> 00:21:36.165
Not an issue.

524
00:21:36.166 --> 00:21:39.249
I, uh... work in bonds.

525
00:21:39.250 --> 00:21:41.457
<i>And I sell Jet Skis.</i>

526
00:21:41.458 --> 00:21:43.499
Oh, fancy, okay.

527
00:21:43.500 --> 00:21:45.458
What's your address, big shot?

528
00:21:45.833 --> 00:21:46.832
[quietly] Yes!

529
00:21:46.833 --> 00:21:48.165
[over phone] <i>Write this down, babe.</i>

530
00:21:48.166 --> 00:21:49.290
<i>- 402...</i>
- Yeah.

531
00:21:49.291 --> 00:21:50.624
<i>...Berry Avenue.</i>

532
00:21:50.625 --> 00:21:51.999
<i>That's A-V--</i>

533
00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:53.750
Yeah, I know how to spell "avenue."

534
00:21:54.708 --> 00:21:56.957
Alexi, play "sexy-time" songs.

535
00:21:56.958 --> 00:22:00.040
- [Alexi] <i>Now playing</i> Taxi <i>theme song.</i>
- [♪ "Taxi" theme playing]

536
00:22:00.041 --> 00:22:01.915
No, Alexi, play...

537
00:22:01.916 --> 00:22:03.625
[♪ music continues]

538
00:22:04.708 --> 00:22:07.375
[♪ music crescendos]

539
00:22:24.916 --> 00:22:26.958
♪

540
00:22:31.250 --> 00:22:32.500
[keypad beeping]

541
00:22:34.166 --> 00:22:36.583
[♪ "Taxi" theme continues playing]

542
00:22:38.750 --> 00:22:40.750
[crickets chirping]

543
00:22:42.166 --> 00:22:45.000
♪

544
00:22:47.750 --> 00:22:49.916
[fire crackling sound]

545
00:22:50.666 --> 00:22:52.666
♪

546
00:22:58.500 --> 00:23:00.083
[knock on door]

547
00:23:01.875 --> 00:23:03.666
[sing-song]
<i>♪ Hello? ♪</i>

548
00:23:05.458 --> 00:23:07.499
Is anybody home?

549
00:23:07.500 --> 00:23:09.874
[♪ music continues softly playing]

550
00:23:09.875 --> 00:23:11.541
And horny?

551
00:23:12.958 --> 00:23:14.791
[sing-song]
<i>♪ Yoo-hoo ♪</i>

552
00:23:15.541 --> 00:23:17.291
Is anybody home?

553
00:23:18.166 --> 00:23:21.457
Ooh. Well, well, well,

554
00:23:21.458 --> 00:23:24.499
What do we have here?

555
00:23:24.500 --> 00:23:27.291
Ooh, a little shy guy.

556
00:23:27.583 --> 00:23:29.791
Naughty, naughty.

557
00:23:31.625 --> 00:23:34.207
Would it have killed you
to meet me at the door?

558
00:23:34.208 --> 00:23:35.333
[gasps]

559
00:23:35.541 --> 00:23:37.124
[screams] Oh, my God!

560
00:23:37.125 --> 00:23:38.207
Oh, my God!

561
00:23:38.208 --> 00:23:39.374
Oh, my God, he's dead.

562
00:23:39.375 --> 00:23:41.040
- Truffle almond?
- [screaming]

563
00:23:41.041 --> 00:23:42.749
- [spraying]
- [screaming]

564
00:23:42.750 --> 00:23:43.833
[water running]

565
00:23:46.375 --> 00:23:48.791
[winces]

566
00:23:50.041 --> 00:23:51.041
Talk.

567
00:23:52.291 --> 00:23:54.374
Oh, um, th-- there's this guy Max

568
00:23:54.375 --> 00:23:56.082
and he's always been
with this girl Mercedes--

569
00:23:56.083 --> 00:23:57.165
Shorter version.

570
00:23:57.166 --> 00:24:00.082
I love Max. He's finally single.

571
00:24:00.083 --> 00:24:01.665
Okay, where am I in the story?

572
00:24:01.666 --> 00:24:03.915
Why am I in a basic-ass kitchen?

573
00:24:03.916 --> 00:24:06.708
I want to pay you
to teach me how to 69 Max.

574
00:24:07.500 --> 00:24:09.957
Okay, slightly more details?

575
00:24:09.958 --> 00:24:12.207
Last night I saw you at Diamond Dolls

576
00:24:12.208 --> 00:24:14.500
and you were dancing
and you lit up the room.

577
00:24:15.166 --> 00:24:16.790
Okay, go on.

578
00:24:16.791 --> 00:24:18.040
I've never seen anything like it.

579
00:24:18.041 --> 00:24:21.083
You literally owned every guy in there.

580
00:24:21.500 --> 00:24:24.583
Uh, I've never even
remotely had what you have.

581
00:24:26.083 --> 00:24:27.790
Well, this I buy.
[sniffing]

582
00:24:27.791 --> 00:24:30.332
[Abby] So, I figured

583
00:24:30.333 --> 00:24:32.750
if I could get you to be my coach,
teach me things,

584
00:24:33.458 --> 00:24:35.583
then I'd get what I have always wanted.

585
00:24:36.666 --> 00:24:37.916
Max.

586
00:24:38.791 --> 00:24:41.290
Okay. Um, I'll coach you right now.

587
00:24:41.291 --> 00:24:43.999
That speech was boring, weird,
and also boring.

588
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:46.540
You don't have enough money to pay me
to listen to more of them.

589
00:24:46.541 --> 00:24:50.082
So, I will take my payment, plus tip,

590
00:24:50.083 --> 00:24:52.874
and if you're selling
any of those, like, chocolate bars

591
00:24:52.875 --> 00:24:54.666
for your high school,
I'll take one of those.

592
00:24:55.166 --> 00:24:56.582
[Abby] I'm not selling chocolate bars.

593
00:24:56.583 --> 00:24:58.750
Aren't you little shits
always selling chocolate bars?

594
00:24:59.500 --> 00:25:01.165
It's a common misconception.

595
00:25:01.166 --> 00:25:03.999
- Ugh.
- I'm-- I'm telling you I need your help.

596
00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:06.874
[Santa Monica] Don't you have, like,
a sister or a girlfriend or something?

597
00:25:06.875 --> 00:25:10.165
Ask her. Not some
hot stripper you catfished.

598
00:25:10.166 --> 00:25:11.875
No, I don't have someone. I...

599
00:25:12.666 --> 00:25:13.999
One week, that's all I need.

600
00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:15.082
I can pay you.

601
00:25:15.083 --> 00:25:17.915
In What? Pez dispensers? I'm good.

602
00:25:17.916 --> 00:25:20.749
I mean, I have $5,000 right here.

603
00:25:20.750 --> 00:25:22.332
I'm telling you I'm rich.

604
00:25:22.333 --> 00:25:24.208
[♪ intriguing piano music playing]

605
00:25:31.375 --> 00:25:32.750
Holy shit, you are.

606
00:25:33.791 --> 00:25:36.415
What, do you have like
a lemonade stand chain?

607
00:25:36.416 --> 00:25:39.040
People pay to watch me
play games on Glitch.

608
00:25:39.041 --> 00:25:40.624
I'm like really good at it.

609
00:25:40.625 --> 00:25:42.999
Oh, cool. Where the fuck are your parents?

610
00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:44.500
Out of town for the week.

611
00:25:45.375 --> 00:25:46.457
[sighs]

612
00:25:46.458 --> 00:25:48.833
Come on, name your price.

613
00:25:49.250 --> 00:25:50.624
I'm telling you, I'm rich.

614
00:25:50.625 --> 00:25:52.290
Twenty thousand dollars.

615
00:25:52.291 --> 00:25:54.582
[chuckles awkwardly] What?

616
00:25:54.583 --> 00:25:56.332
I'll do it for 20,000.

617
00:25:56.333 --> 00:25:57.582
A week with me

618
00:25:57.583 --> 00:25:59.499
and I'll teach you
everything you need to know

619
00:25:59.500 --> 00:26:02.540
to pull off a facade of confidence.

620
00:26:02.541 --> 00:26:04.124
I'd rather it not be a facade.

621
00:26:04.125 --> 00:26:07.207
Five thousand dollars is the deposit
and the rest by Saturday

622
00:26:07.208 --> 00:26:10.624
and you've got yourself
a little sex coach.

623
00:26:10.625 --> 00:26:13.374
Can you please stop
thrusting your crotch?

624
00:26:13.375 --> 00:26:15.500
What, you don't like a little sex coach?

625
00:26:16.083 --> 00:26:17.415
[Abby] <i>I had to think fast.</i>

626
00:26:17.416 --> 00:26:22.166
<i>Spend every dime I had getting with Max
or get my dream car. Uh...</i>

627
00:26:27.041 --> 00:26:28.332
<i>Ah, fuck it.</i>

628
00:26:28.333 --> 00:26:29.458
<i>Let's do it.</i>

629
00:26:31.666 --> 00:26:33.249
Oh, I thought I said that out loud.

630
00:26:33.250 --> 00:26:34.874
Let's do it.

631
00:26:34.875 --> 00:26:37.708
- [♪ electronic music playing]
- [patrons whooping and chattering]

632
00:26:44.333 --> 00:26:45.458
[bald man] Santa Monica.

633
00:26:46.250 --> 00:26:48.707
Treat your number one fan
to a lap dance, will you?

634
00:26:48.708 --> 00:26:51.540
Oh, how'd you know I charge 10 bucks
for an ass pinch, perv?

635
00:26:51.541 --> 00:26:52.874
[♪ electronic music continues]

636
00:26:52.875 --> 00:26:53.957
[Destiny] Santi?

637
00:26:53.958 --> 00:26:56.040
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
- Baby, wait. What are you doing?

638
00:26:56.041 --> 00:26:58.416
Uh-uh-uh-uh. What are you doing here?
You don't work today.

639
00:26:59.500 --> 00:27:01.040
- Oh, shit going down.
- [Angel] Uh-huh.

640
00:27:01.041 --> 00:27:02.207
- Shit-- Go, go, go.
- We're coming.

641
00:27:02.208 --> 00:27:03.291
- On the way.
- But not too fast.

642
00:27:07.458 --> 00:27:08.457
What's that, Santi?

643
00:27:08.458 --> 00:27:11.291
Five thousand dollars plus a sweaty 10.

644
00:27:11.875 --> 00:27:14.749
I think I can make you enough money
to save the club in time.

645
00:27:14.750 --> 00:27:16.499
If I got you the 20 grand,

646
00:27:16.500 --> 00:27:19.290
would you consider letting me
co-own Diamond Dolls?

647
00:27:19.291 --> 00:27:22.250
- [♪ muffled music playing]
- [patrons chattering]

648
00:27:24.208 --> 00:27:27.332
Baby... I can't keep running this show.

649
00:27:27.333 --> 00:27:28.583
You can have the whole thing.

650
00:27:29.333 --> 00:27:30.749
As long as I can still hang around

651
00:27:30.750 --> 00:27:34.291
and shake my bra biscuits
for another 60 years.

652
00:27:35.041 --> 00:27:36.957
Wait, you wanna be a stripper at 110?

653
00:27:36.958 --> 00:27:38.791
I told ya I'm not good with math.

654
00:27:40.458 --> 00:27:41.499
We got a deal?

655
00:27:41.500 --> 00:27:42.791
It's a deal.

656
00:27:44.458 --> 00:27:46.207
Now quit smoking in my office.

657
00:27:46.208 --> 00:27:48.083
Ha-ha! Thattagirl.

658
00:27:48.916 --> 00:27:51.124
- [all screaming]
- [feet stomping]

659
00:27:51.125 --> 00:27:53.083
[Abby snoring]

660
00:28:00.125 --> 00:28:02.791
[car horn honking]

661
00:28:03.375 --> 00:28:04.458
[softly] What?

662
00:28:04.833 --> 00:28:06.500
[honking continues]

663
00:28:06.958 --> 00:28:08.665
[loud honking]

664
00:28:08.666 --> 00:28:10.708
[♪ gentle music playing]

665
00:28:13.250 --> 00:28:14.832
Do you wanna come in? Or...

666
00:28:14.833 --> 00:28:16.749
[horn blares]

667
00:28:16.750 --> 00:28:17.833
Okay.

668
00:28:19.875 --> 00:28:21.125
[slurping]

669
00:28:21.916 --> 00:28:23.207
[bird cawing]

670
00:28:23.208 --> 00:28:25.165
- Cool car.
- It's a piece of shit.

671
00:28:25.166 --> 00:28:26.375
Totally.

672
00:28:27.833 --> 00:28:29.165
How'd you sleep?

673
00:28:29.166 --> 00:28:30.832
Alright, rule number one,

674
00:28:30.833 --> 00:28:31.999
no small talk.

675
00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:34.832
You say something interesting
or nothing at all.

676
00:28:34.833 --> 00:28:37.041
- [bird cawing]
- [slurping]

677
00:28:38.500 --> 00:28:40.833
Did you know worms
are the only animals that 69?

678
00:28:41.916 --> 00:28:44.457
What the fuck am I
supposed to do with that?

679
00:28:44.458 --> 00:28:46.790
Alright, rule number two,
we stick to the lessons.

680
00:28:46.791 --> 00:28:49.207
Everything we discuss will be a lesson.

681
00:28:49.208 --> 00:28:51.457
There's no, like, "hanging out"

682
00:28:51.458 --> 00:28:53.082
because you've hired me to teach you.

683
00:28:53.083 --> 00:28:54.790
And teachers don't hang out
with their students

684
00:28:54.791 --> 00:28:57.207
unless they're fucking, which we're not.
[slurping]

685
00:28:57.208 --> 00:28:59.165
I'm sorry, I didn't know
what time we were starting today.

686
00:28:59.166 --> 00:29:01.041
I forgot to brush my teeth.

687
00:29:02.750 --> 00:29:04.082
[Santa Monica] Rule number three,

688
00:29:04.083 --> 00:29:06.833
I get my payment of $20,000 by Saturday.

689
00:29:08.166 --> 00:29:09.290
Happy to be in business with you.

690
00:29:09.291 --> 00:29:10.833
Oh, my God, that breath isn't.

691
00:29:11.333 --> 00:29:14.291
- Did you like eat a poo for dinner?
- [Abby] No.

692
00:29:14.708 --> 00:29:17.541
Alright, lesson one, get out.

693
00:29:21.291 --> 00:29:24.125
Hey, you're going for a walk.

694
00:29:25.416 --> 00:29:28.500
[♪ funky upbeat music playing]

695
00:29:32.500 --> 00:29:33.875
I don't hear you.

696
00:29:34.708 --> 00:29:36.457
How is this supposed
to help me get with Max?

697
00:29:36.458 --> 00:29:37.625
We're building your confidence.

698
00:29:38.625 --> 00:29:41.124
- Ahh!
- Jesus. Are your ankles drunk?

699
00:29:41.125 --> 00:29:44.499
Did you have a piña colada
while you ate shit for dinner?

700
00:29:44.500 --> 00:29:46.165
Come on. I have never worn heels before.

701
00:29:46.166 --> 00:29:48.165
Alright, now come on! Let's hear it.

702
00:29:48.166 --> 00:29:50.208
Are you saying it?
'Cause I can't hear you.

703
00:29:51.708 --> 00:29:53.458
I am a s-sex machine.

704
00:29:54.000 --> 00:29:56.124
What, you think you're a sex machine?

705
00:29:56.125 --> 00:29:57.500
[scoffs] I don't think so.

706
00:29:58.958 --> 00:30:01.040
I am a-- a sex machine.

707
00:30:01.041 --> 00:30:03.333
No, let's hear it. Who are you?

708
00:30:03.916 --> 00:30:05.540
I am a sex machine.

709
00:30:05.541 --> 00:30:07.416
Don't tell me, tell Max.

710
00:30:08.291 --> 00:30:09.457
♪

711
00:30:09.458 --> 00:30:10.875
[breathes deeply]

712
00:30:11.625 --> 00:30:13.624
[shouting] I am a sex machine!

713
00:30:13.625 --> 00:30:15.624
Yes, bitch, there she is!

714
00:30:15.625 --> 00:30:16.707
There she is.

715
00:30:16.708 --> 00:30:18.375
Now Tell Max what you do.

716
00:30:18.833 --> 00:30:22.958
I am a machine that gives you sex.

717
00:30:23.666 --> 00:30:24.999
[Santa Monica] Okay, what else?

718
00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:28.707
Uh, I was made in a horny lab

719
00:30:28.708 --> 00:30:31.790
by dirty scientists.

720
00:30:31.791 --> 00:30:35.499
They all got so turned on
they started kissing each other.

721
00:30:35.500 --> 00:30:37.415
And you made it weird.

722
00:30:37.416 --> 00:30:38.624
Coffee break.

723
00:30:38.625 --> 00:30:40.666
- [tires screeching]
- Oh, there's a really great spot...

724
00:30:42.583 --> 00:30:44.582
Alright, lesson two.

725
00:30:44.583 --> 00:30:46.124
We're gonna assess your knowledge.

726
00:30:46.125 --> 00:30:48.499
So, let's start with what you know.

727
00:30:48.500 --> 00:30:52.499
Okay, well, I know about
hand jobs and blow jobs.

728
00:30:52.500 --> 00:30:55.207
I've heard of rim jobs.

729
00:30:55.208 --> 00:30:57.832
I'm-- I think I can guess
what those are though.

730
00:30:57.833 --> 00:30:59.165
Oh, cool.

731
00:30:59.166 --> 00:31:01.790
I'm dying to know
what you think a rim job is.

732
00:31:01.791 --> 00:31:05.165
Is it when a guy puts his hands
on the rim of your boobs

733
00:31:05.166 --> 00:31:07.290
and goes "e-ooh-e-ooh"?

734
00:31:07.291 --> 00:31:08.665
So we're starting at zero.

735
00:31:08.666 --> 00:31:09.958
Correct.

736
00:31:10.208 --> 00:31:12.375
I mean, have you ever watched porn?

737
00:31:13.458 --> 00:31:14.541
...ography?

738
00:31:15.041 --> 00:31:16.832
Alright, that's a no.

739
00:31:16.833 --> 00:31:18.749
What about a sexy movie?

740
00:31:18.750 --> 00:31:21.707
[Abby] Oh, yeah, I've seen like
a ton of romantic movies,

741
00:31:21.708 --> 00:31:24.082
but they always cut away
before they get to the 69.

742
00:31:24.083 --> 00:31:25.290
Okay.

743
00:31:25.291 --> 00:31:27.332
Although, I do know what a...

744
00:31:27.333 --> 00:31:28.790
[whispering] uh, penis

745
00:31:28.791 --> 00:31:29.874
[normal] feels like.

746
00:31:29.875 --> 00:31:31.083
[softly] Penis?

747
00:31:31.750 --> 00:31:33.249
[softly] Penis.

748
00:31:33.250 --> 00:31:34.624
Why are you afraid to say penis?

749
00:31:34.625 --> 00:31:36.166
No one is home.

750
00:31:36.958 --> 00:31:38.624
- Okay.
- Penis.

751
00:31:38.625 --> 00:31:39.833
Penis.

752
00:31:40.291 --> 00:31:41.957
[both chuckle]

753
00:31:41.958 --> 00:31:43.874
How have you felt a penis?

754
00:31:43.875 --> 00:31:45.582
Someone told me
that if you put your finger

755
00:31:45.583 --> 00:31:48.500
on your eyelid, it feels like a penis.

756
00:31:50.041 --> 00:31:52.624
Yeah, like, go like this and then you...

757
00:31:52.625 --> 00:31:54.082
Huh.

758
00:31:54.083 --> 00:31:55.291
Wait, it does actually.

759
00:31:55.958 --> 00:31:57.165
- Not no.
- Right?

760
00:31:57.166 --> 00:31:58.250
[Santa Monica] Yeah.

761
00:31:58.750 --> 00:32:01.375
Okay, one point for Griffindork.

762
00:32:01.958 --> 00:32:03.499
Okay, you don't have to jerk it off.

763
00:32:03.500 --> 00:32:04.625
Oh, sorry.

764
00:32:05.958 --> 00:32:08.124
So, you're doing all this for some guy?

765
00:32:08.125 --> 00:32:11.499
Not that I'm complaining,
but, like, why this guy?

766
00:32:11.500 --> 00:32:14.583
- What do you mean?
- Like, why is he the one?

767
00:32:15.333 --> 00:32:16.874
I mean, a million reasons.

768
00:32:16.875 --> 00:32:19.249
Um, he's Max Warren.

769
00:32:19.250 --> 00:32:22.874
He's super hot
and he, like, he plays soccer.

770
00:32:22.875 --> 00:32:25.000
Oh, and he has such great hair.

771
00:32:25.958 --> 00:32:28.457
You're spending $20,000
to get with a guy

772
00:32:28.458 --> 00:32:30.250
because his hair is good?

773
00:32:31.041 --> 00:32:32.666
Did you have a crush
when you were my age?

774
00:32:33.833 --> 00:32:35.332
Jean-Paul Giordano.

775
00:32:35.333 --> 00:32:37.375
Hmm. What did you know about him?

776
00:32:37.916 --> 00:32:39.582
He was obsessed with Disney World

777
00:32:39.583 --> 00:32:41.499
and his brother drowned in a pool.

778
00:32:41.500 --> 00:32:42.582
[Abby] Jesus.

779
00:32:42.583 --> 00:32:43.874
[Santa Monica] Alright, homework.

780
00:32:43.875 --> 00:32:46.333
Deep dive Max's Instagram.
Find out more about him.

781
00:32:47.458 --> 00:32:48.875
- [car engine starts]
- Okay.

782
00:32:49.833 --> 00:32:51.082
[Abby] Thanks for the day.

783
00:32:51.083 --> 00:32:52.957
- When am I gonna see you again?
- [tires screeching]

784
00:32:52.958 --> 00:32:54.083
She's gone.

785
00:32:55.166 --> 00:32:57.875
[♪ soft music playing]

786
00:32:59.625 --> 00:33:00.625
[sighs]

787
00:33:05.833 --> 00:33:07.500
I am a sex machine.

788
00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:10.000
Eh...

789
00:33:10.250 --> 00:33:11.458
[cell phone chimes]

790
00:33:20.291 --> 00:33:22.375
[♪ soft music continues]

791
00:33:29.708 --> 00:33:30.750
[screenshot clicks]

792
00:33:42.583 --> 00:33:43.749
<i>Hey, y'all, I just wanted to thank</i>

793
00:33:43.750 --> 00:33:46.665
<i>the Syracuse Police Department
for finding my Uncle Frank.</i>

794
00:33:46.666 --> 00:33:49.875
<i>They say cold cases stay cold,
but not in New York, right, Mom?</i>

795
00:33:51.500 --> 00:33:52.500
<i>Bye, y'all.</i>

796
00:33:53.666 --> 00:33:56.125
[♪ soft music continues]

797
00:33:57.750 --> 00:33:58.750
[sighs]

798
00:34:05.583 --> 00:34:06.666
Oh.

799
00:34:10.083 --> 00:34:11.125
[scoffs]

800
00:34:11.750 --> 00:34:12.916
Come on.

801
00:34:14.958 --> 00:34:16.875
Just-- [sighs] Forget it.

802
00:34:18.000 --> 00:34:19.708
I'll just think about it.

803
00:34:20.211 --> 00:34:22.000
[♪ upbeat music playing]

804
00:34:22.958 --> 00:34:24.166
- Hey.
- Hey.

805
00:34:25.041 --> 00:34:26.915
[people chattering]

806
00:34:26.916 --> 00:34:29.208
[Rick Richards] Listen. Betty, you'd be
making a huge mistake.

807
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:31.374
Diamond Dolls is gonna go under.

808
00:34:31.375 --> 00:34:34.416
Now, look, if--
if you give the club to me,

809
00:34:35.041 --> 00:34:37.041
your legacy, it gets to go on.

810
00:34:37.500 --> 00:34:39.374
I just don't know
why you're not saying yes.

811
00:34:39.375 --> 00:34:40.582
Are you on your period?

812
00:34:40.583 --> 00:34:44.457
- What the hell?
<i>- Hola.</i> Rick Richards.

813
00:34:44.458 --> 00:34:47.332
Yeah, a name so nice,
your folks named you Dickhead twice.

814
00:34:47.333 --> 00:34:48.749
[laughing]

815
00:34:48.750 --> 00:34:50.124
Well, two Dicks are better than one.

816
00:34:50.125 --> 00:34:51.540
I'm sure you'd agree.

817
00:34:51.541 --> 00:34:52.791
Uh, wait a second.

818
00:34:53.583 --> 00:34:54.583
Santa Monica, right?

819
00:34:55.541 --> 00:34:57.790
Oh, my God.
I almost didn't recognize you.

820
00:34:57.791 --> 00:35:00.290
It has been years
since you auditioned for me.

821
00:35:00.291 --> 00:35:02.833
You've... really aged.

822
00:35:03.375 --> 00:35:04.665
Yeah, I remember you.

823
00:35:04.666 --> 00:35:07.624
I was 18 and you asked me
to audition without my underpants.

824
00:35:07.625 --> 00:35:11.083
Well, only a sucker buys a used car
without looking under the hood.

825
00:35:11.791 --> 00:35:13.665
And by used car, I mean stripper,

826
00:35:13.666 --> 00:35:17.124
and looking under the hood,
I mean looking at your vagina.

827
00:35:17.125 --> 00:35:18.749
- [Santa Monica] Yeah, I-- we got it.
- [Rick] Okay.

828
00:35:18.750 --> 00:35:20.165
- Just for clarity.
- [Santa Monica] Mm-hmm.

829
00:35:20.166 --> 00:35:21.833
I like to check the slits.

830
00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:25.540
Okay, what is this
shit-slime doing here?

831
00:35:25.541 --> 00:35:28.791
Well, The Old Spaghetti Factory over here
owes me some <i>dinero.</i>

832
00:35:31.208 --> 00:35:33.665
What? Betty!
I thought you owed the bank.

833
00:35:33.666 --> 00:35:36.165
Sorry, doll. They couldn't help me, okay?

834
00:35:36.166 --> 00:35:38.249
[Rick] Yeah, it's a shame.

835
00:35:38.250 --> 00:35:40.207
And if she can't pay,
I'll be your new boss.

836
00:35:40.208 --> 00:35:41.957
Although we might have
to lose some of the uglies.

837
00:35:41.958 --> 00:35:43.832
You know which ones I'm talking about.

838
00:35:43.833 --> 00:35:45.250
But don't worry, I'm a great boss.

839
00:35:45.791 --> 00:35:47.332
I have a very hands-on approach.

840
00:35:47.333 --> 00:35:49.790
So if anyone's taking over
this establishment,

841
00:35:49.791 --> 00:35:51.749
it should be someone
who knows how to run a club.

842
00:35:51.750 --> 00:35:52.832
Wouldn't you agree?

843
00:35:52.833 --> 00:35:54.624
Someone who knows how to work the girls.

844
00:35:54.625 --> 00:35:58.250
Someone with
a college education, <i>comprende?</i>

845
00:35:58.875 --> 00:35:59.957
What's with the Spanish?

846
00:35:59.958 --> 00:36:01.915
Trying to learn
a new language every week.

847
00:36:01.916 --> 00:36:04.041
My little girl got me
Duolingo for my birthday.

848
00:36:04.708 --> 00:36:05.958
You have a daughter?

849
00:36:06.666 --> 00:36:08.749
No, I'm talking about my bitch.

850
00:36:08.750 --> 00:36:10.790
Listen, I'm taking over the club

851
00:36:10.791 --> 00:36:13.082
so you can <i>hasta la vista,</i> baby.

852
00:36:13.083 --> 00:36:14.499
I'll have your money next week.

853
00:36:14.500 --> 00:36:15.874
I don't know what you said.

854
00:36:15.875 --> 00:36:18.582
I haven't gotten that far in the course,
but I will tell you this.

855
00:36:18.583 --> 00:36:19.832
If you don't have the money,

856
00:36:19.833 --> 00:36:22.540
if, uh, Santa Monica should be washed away

857
00:36:22.541 --> 00:36:25.750
by a tidal wave of El Niño.

858
00:36:26.208 --> 00:36:28.665
Then you have my card, Betty.

859
00:36:28.666 --> 00:36:31.374
And I'll be back next weekend
to collect the keys.

860
00:36:31.375 --> 00:36:33.041
Talk then, Spaghettio.

861
00:36:34.166 --> 00:36:36.416
Oh, and, uh...

862
00:36:38.041 --> 00:36:40.749
when I do take over,
I am gonna need to see you audition again,

863
00:36:40.750 --> 00:36:43.500
but no costume this time.

864
00:36:44.166 --> 00:36:45.500
Capiche?

865
00:36:46.625 --> 00:36:47.707
That's Italian.

866
00:36:47.708 --> 00:36:48.790
Nah-uh.

867
00:36:48.791 --> 00:36:50.333
[Santa Monica] Yeah-huh, look it up.

868
00:36:52.458 --> 00:36:53.458
Whatever.

869
00:36:54.333 --> 00:36:56.332
Duolingo has over 40 language courses.

870
00:36:56.333 --> 00:36:57.790
Duolin-go fuck yourself.

871
00:36:57.791 --> 00:36:59.457
Oh, nice mouth on this one, Betty.

872
00:36:59.458 --> 00:37:01.374
What the hell, Betty?!

873
00:37:01.375 --> 00:37:02.540
Rick Richards?

874
00:37:02.541 --> 00:37:04.249
He can't take over
Diamond Dolls, he can't!

875
00:37:04.250 --> 00:37:05.540
I don't want him to, honey.

876
00:37:05.541 --> 00:37:07.874
But if you can't raise
that money by next weekend,

877
00:37:07.875 --> 00:37:09.000
we are fucked.

878
00:37:09.541 --> 00:37:10.625
I'll get you the money.

879
00:37:12.916 --> 00:37:15.332
- [school bell ringing]
- [students chattering]

880
00:37:15.333 --> 00:37:18.707
[♪ "Good Enough for Me" by Bea Parks,
Jake Lake, and Oli Charles playing]

881
00:37:18.708 --> 00:37:21.165
<i>♪ I'm in rainbows ♪</i>

882
00:37:21.166 --> 00:37:23.250
<i>♪ Ridin' my scout ♪</i>

883
00:37:23.916 --> 00:37:25.375
<i>♪ Behind my leather ♪</i>

884
00:37:26.541 --> 00:37:28.541
<i>♪ And hammer down... ♪</i>

885
00:37:29.333 --> 00:37:30.458
Oh, shit.

886
00:37:31.041 --> 00:37:33.624
Oh. Abby dear. Yoo-hoo!

887
00:37:33.625 --> 00:37:35.957
Mommy's here to pick you up.

888
00:37:35.958 --> 00:37:39.582
<i>♪ You'll find us all downtown ♪</i>

889
00:37:39.583 --> 00:37:42.791
[students murmuring]

890
00:37:45.583 --> 00:37:47.582
- Come on.
- What are you doing here?

891
00:37:47.583 --> 00:37:49.957
We gotta get moving on the plan. Come on.

892
00:37:49.958 --> 00:37:51.415
No time to waste.

893
00:37:51.416 --> 00:37:53.083
Get in the car. Here we go.

894
00:37:54.000 --> 00:37:55.540
<i>♪ Good enough for me ♪</i>

895
00:37:55.541 --> 00:37:58.208
Mm. I love a man in uniform.

896
00:38:00.041 --> 00:38:02.041
[students] Oh!

897
00:38:02.291 --> 00:38:04.291
[students giggling]

898
00:38:05.458 --> 00:38:08.915
Uh, why couldn't this wait
until after I got home?

899
00:38:08.916 --> 00:38:11.207
Oh, God.

900
00:38:11.208 --> 00:38:13.541
Principal Morris is staring at me
like I just joined a sex cult.

901
00:38:15.291 --> 00:38:16.999
Oh, my God, ew.

902
00:38:17.000 --> 00:38:19.457
I can't believe he still
works here. [laughs]

903
00:38:19.458 --> 00:38:21.582
Wait, when I was a senior,

904
00:38:21.583 --> 00:38:23.582
he used to do this like
disgusting eye trick

905
00:38:23.583 --> 00:38:26.165
where he'd use one eye
to look at your chest.

906
00:38:26.166 --> 00:38:28.958
[laughing] So gross.
I tried to get the perv fired.

907
00:38:29.500 --> 00:38:31.791
You know he has a glass eye, right?

908
00:38:33.291 --> 00:38:34.375
Uh-huh.

909
00:38:34.875 --> 00:38:35.875
Totally.

910
00:38:36.333 --> 00:38:37.416
Sad.

911
00:38:38.583 --> 00:38:39.832
- Oh, shit, duck!
- [heads thud]

912
00:38:39.833 --> 00:38:41.665
- [groans]
- Ow! Oh, my God.

913
00:38:41.666 --> 00:38:43.999
Dude, I just got filler.

914
00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:46.082
[Abby] Okay, who are we hiding from?

915
00:38:46.083 --> 00:38:47.249
[Santa Monica] Robin Goode.

916
00:38:47.250 --> 00:38:48.999
She thinks she's better
than everyone else.

917
00:38:49.000 --> 00:38:51.249
She's in charge of our class reunion.

918
00:38:51.250 --> 00:38:54.957
Of course she is. Look at her in her
fuckin' little business lady suit.

919
00:38:54.958 --> 00:38:57.500
Nice camel-toe, Ann Taylor Loft.

920
00:38:58.041 --> 00:39:00.457
Oh, cool, you don't show
cleavage in your suit.

921
00:39:00.458 --> 00:39:02.207
[fake laughs] How professional.

922
00:39:02.208 --> 00:39:04.583
Oh... Oh, okay, she's gone.

923
00:39:06.916 --> 00:39:07.916
She's gone.

924
00:39:09.791 --> 00:39:12.625
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, obviously. Duh.

925
00:39:13.125 --> 00:39:14.832
Are you gonna go to the reunion?

926
00:39:14.833 --> 00:39:17.249
Oh, my God, what did
I say about small talk?

927
00:39:17.250 --> 00:39:21.082
Now, let's begin your next lesson.

928
00:39:21.083 --> 00:39:23.165
Oh, God, I really don't wanna wear that.

929
00:39:23.166 --> 00:39:24.707
<i>You</i> aren't. Okay.

930
00:39:24.708 --> 00:39:27.332
Most guys don't know
your clitter from your shitter.

931
00:39:27.333 --> 00:39:30.207
So, in order to really enjoy
your first sexual experience,

932
00:39:30.208 --> 00:39:31.791
you have to be good at giving direction.

933
00:39:32.541 --> 00:39:33.541
Any questions?

934
00:39:34.541 --> 00:39:35.541
[Abby] Uh...

935
00:39:36.875 --> 00:39:38.333
You can't be serious.

936
00:39:38.833 --> 00:39:39.832
Right?

937
00:39:39.833 --> 00:39:41.290
- [tires screeching]
- No, no, no, no, no, no.

938
00:39:41.291 --> 00:39:43.457
No! Oh! Jesus!

939
00:39:43.458 --> 00:39:44.749
Turn left, turn left, left.

940
00:39:44.750 --> 00:39:46.540
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

941
00:39:46.541 --> 00:39:47.749
[screaming] Oh my God!

942
00:39:47.750 --> 00:39:48.916
Um, uh, slight left.

943
00:39:50.083 --> 00:39:52.332
- Just-- just stop it! Oh no!
- [tires screeching]

944
00:39:52.333 --> 00:39:53.499
Oh, Jesus.

945
00:39:53.500 --> 00:39:54.582
What?

946
00:39:54.583 --> 00:39:57.124
[overlapping shouting]

947
00:39:57.125 --> 00:40:00.207
- [engine revving, tires screeching]
- [people screaming]

948
00:40:00.208 --> 00:40:02.957
- Left! Left! [screaming]
- [raucously laughing]

949
00:40:02.958 --> 00:40:04.582
Tell me what to do!

950
00:40:04.583 --> 00:40:06.499
- Use your words.
- [shouting] Right!

951
00:40:06.500 --> 00:40:07.958
Right!

952
00:40:09.875 --> 00:40:11.457
- [car horn blaring]
- [Abby screaming]

953
00:40:11.458 --> 00:40:13.000
[tires screeching]

954
00:40:14.625 --> 00:40:16.040
<i>♪ Because it's great ♪</i>

955
00:40:16.041 --> 00:40:18.375
<i>♪ Great for me to sing ♪</i>

956
00:40:18.875 --> 00:40:20.958
[Abby screaming]

957
00:40:21.083 --> 00:40:23.082
[Abby] Okay, stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

958
00:40:23.083 --> 00:40:24.166
[tires screech]

959
00:40:25.375 --> 00:40:26.540
Oh, God.

960
00:40:26.541 --> 00:40:27.958
<i>♪ Good enough for me ♪</i>

961
00:40:28.750 --> 00:40:31.666
Oh, fuck. Now it looks like
I’m making fun of him. [chuckles]

962
00:40:32.500 --> 00:40:33.999
Go, go!

963
00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:36.666
[tires screeching]

964
00:40:37.458 --> 00:40:39.000
♪

965
00:40:40.166 --> 00:40:41.165
Stop!

966
00:40:41.166 --> 00:40:42.500
[brakes squealing]

967
00:40:43.958 --> 00:40:44.957
- You did it.
- [screams]

968
00:40:44.958 --> 00:40:46.040
You did it! We're here!

969
00:40:46.041 --> 00:40:47.707
- Oh, my God, we made it!
- Holy shit!

970
00:40:47.708 --> 00:40:50.499
- [Abby laughs]
- I got scared for a second.

971
00:40:50.500 --> 00:40:51.582
You got scared?

972
00:40:51.583 --> 00:40:53.207
I had to see all that,
I thought I was gonna die.

973
00:40:53.208 --> 00:40:54.750
[car thuds]

974
00:40:58.833 --> 00:41:00.458
I didn't put it in park.

975
00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:02.291
- [clicks tongue]
- Right.

976
00:41:02.958 --> 00:41:05.250
<i>♪ Good enough for me ♪</i>

977
00:41:05.625 --> 00:41:07.082
- [sighs]
- Should we leave a note?

978
00:41:07.083 --> 00:41:08.874
What did I say about small talk?

979
00:41:08.875 --> 00:41:09.957
[door bell chimes]

980
00:41:09.958 --> 00:41:13.290
[♪ "Heart of Stone" by Brian Wade
and Oswin John Falquero plays in store]

981
00:41:13.291 --> 00:41:16.165
<i>♪ Heart of stone ♪</i>

982
00:41:16.166 --> 00:41:17.540
Oh, hi.

983
00:41:17.541 --> 00:41:18.999
<i>♪ I'm on my own ♪</i>

984
00:41:19.000 --> 00:41:20.750
Let me know if you need any...

985
00:41:22.708 --> 00:41:23.874
thing.

986
00:41:23.875 --> 00:41:25.832
<i>♪ Since you've gone... ♪</i>

987
00:41:25.833 --> 00:41:28.374
[Abby] <i>It was like kink Disneyland.</i>

988
00:41:28.375 --> 00:41:30.624
<i>- But all the rides vibrated more.</i>
- [cell phone chimes]

989
00:41:30.625 --> 00:41:33.124
[Santa Monica] "Everybody wants
a German to ride."

990
00:41:33.125 --> 00:41:34.207
Ew.

991
00:41:34.208 --> 00:41:37.665
"Powerful as a BMW, eco as a Prius."

992
00:41:37.666 --> 00:41:40.165
It's crazy,
everything has like handles now.

993
00:41:40.166 --> 00:41:41.250
[laughs]

994
00:41:41.791 --> 00:41:42.790
Hmm.

995
00:41:42.791 --> 00:41:44.082
Next lesson.

996
00:41:44.083 --> 00:41:46.415
You have to be comfortable
in your own body

997
00:41:46.416 --> 00:41:48.582
before you lay on someone else's, right?

998
00:41:48.583 --> 00:41:51.374
I mean, 69-ing is like specifically meant
for dual pleasure.

999
00:41:51.375 --> 00:41:52.707
I mean, when I was your age,

1000
00:41:52.708 --> 00:41:55.499
I thought the more the guy got off,
the better the sex was.

1001
00:41:55.500 --> 00:41:58.624
You know, I was just chugging
dick after dick after di--

1002
00:41:58.625 --> 00:41:59.915
Yeah, I didn't feel anything.

1003
00:41:59.916 --> 00:42:02.665
I was just faking orgasm after orgasm,

1004
00:42:02.666 --> 00:42:03.999
just lying on my back.

1005
00:42:04.000 --> 00:42:05.707
Just like a little songbird, like...

1006
00:42:05.708 --> 00:42:08.290
[Santa Monica squawking]

1007
00:42:08.291 --> 00:42:09.540
You know? It sucked.

1008
00:42:09.541 --> 00:42:11.415
And I blew out my vocal chords.

1009
00:42:11.416 --> 00:42:13.457
But, you know, it's actually the opposite.

1010
00:42:13.458 --> 00:42:15.957
Turns out the more <i>I</i> got off,
the better the sex was.

1011
00:42:15.958 --> 00:42:19.582
So, you gotta figure out
what turns you on.

1012
00:42:19.583 --> 00:42:22.125
Like, for me, it's choking,
but I have trauma.

1013
00:42:22.625 --> 00:42:23.957
Maybe you pick something

1014
00:42:23.958 --> 00:42:25.707
and I'll go die of embarrassment
in the car.

1015
00:42:25.708 --> 00:42:29.457
Hey, a vibrator
is a window to your soul.

1016
00:42:29.458 --> 00:42:32.290
Isn't that, like, stitched on a pillow
in your house somewhere?

1017
00:42:32.291 --> 00:42:33.375
Live, love, cum?

1018
00:42:34.333 --> 00:42:36.082
Haven't you ever been like nervous

1019
00:42:36.083 --> 00:42:37.833
and excited about something
at the same time?

1020
00:42:39.416 --> 00:42:40.875
I guess. Uh...

1021
00:42:41.416 --> 00:42:44.040
when I go into
haunted houses at Halloween.

1022
00:42:44.041 --> 00:42:45.291
Oh, my God, you really are a dork.

1023
00:42:46.375 --> 00:42:48.790
Okay, think about this like that.

1024
00:42:48.791 --> 00:42:52.165
You can be scared and excited
about this next step.

1025
00:42:52.166 --> 00:42:53.624
And I'm gonna help.

1026
00:42:53.625 --> 00:42:56.374
Best stuff for female pleasure
is behind the curtain.

1027
00:42:56.375 --> 00:43:00.208
[Santa Monica] [in spooky voice] Ooh.
Female pleasure.

1028
00:43:00.333 --> 00:43:02.749
[high-pitched ringing]

1029
00:43:02.750 --> 00:43:04.583
[Santa Monica laughs menacingly]

1030
00:43:06.458 --> 00:43:09.582
[ghostly echoing voice] Welcome, Abby.

1031
00:43:09.583 --> 00:43:11.625
Enter, if you dare.

1032
00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:14.083
We've been waiting for you to <i>cum.</i>

1033
00:43:14.750 --> 00:43:15.957
[spooky laughter]

1034
00:43:15.958 --> 00:43:18.166
- Okay, I'm actually scared.
- [chuckles]

1035
00:43:18.625 --> 00:43:19.790
No, we got this.

1036
00:43:19.791 --> 00:43:21.832
<i>- ♪ Heart of stone ♪
- ♪ Stone ♪</i>

1037
00:43:21.833 --> 00:43:23.833
<i>- ♪ I feel... ♪</i>
- [both shudder]

1038
00:43:24.500 --> 00:43:28.082
[♪ music distorting]

1039
00:43:28.083 --> 00:43:30.458
[chainsaws whirring sound]

1040
00:43:33.291 --> 00:43:35.874
- [screaming]
- Oh, my God!

1041
00:43:35.875 --> 00:43:39.041
- [both screaming]
- [vibrators revving loudly]

1042
00:43:40.166 --> 00:43:42.165
Oh, Jesus Christ.

1043
00:43:42.166 --> 00:43:43.416
Oh, my God.

1044
00:43:44.000 --> 00:43:45.250
[both panting]

1045
00:43:46.625 --> 00:43:48.540
Wait. We're in my house.

1046
00:43:48.541 --> 00:43:50.041
Yeah, no shit.

1047
00:43:50.541 --> 00:43:52.291
[♪ eerie music playing]

1048
00:43:55.583 --> 00:43:58.583
[person shrieking]

1049
00:43:59.458 --> 00:44:01.082
[shrieking, moaning]

1050
00:44:01.083 --> 00:44:02.833
Cute vibe.

1051
00:44:03.333 --> 00:44:05.000
[ghostly moaning]

1052
00:44:05.958 --> 00:44:08.541
[♪ eerie music continues]

1053
00:44:09.166 --> 00:44:10.707
- [chimes]
- [both gasp]

1054
00:44:10.708 --> 00:44:12.999
Oh, not Lola's china!

1055
00:44:13.000 --> 00:44:15.082
Come on, just pick one and let's go.

1056
00:44:15.083 --> 00:44:16.166
Um...

1057
00:44:18.958 --> 00:44:20.083
Hmm?

1058
00:44:21.125 --> 00:44:22.249
- That's good.
- Okay.

1059
00:44:22.250 --> 00:44:23.665
I prefer the rabbit.

1060
00:44:23.666 --> 00:44:25.082
- [both screaming]
- Oh, my God!

1061
00:44:25.083 --> 00:44:26.625
No! Go, go, go.

1062
00:44:29.708 --> 00:44:31.457
Abigail, what have you done?!

1063
00:44:31.458 --> 00:44:33.290
My walls!

1064
00:44:33.291 --> 00:44:35.958
- [thunder crashing]
- My beautiful walls!

1065
00:44:36.625 --> 00:44:38.333
Mom? What is she talking about?

1066
00:44:41.541 --> 00:44:44.125
Female ejaculation!

1067
00:44:45.208 --> 00:44:48.999
[distorted ominously] Everywhere!

1068
00:44:49.000 --> 00:44:50.333
[wailing]

1069
00:44:51.125 --> 00:44:52.499
[Abby] I swear I didn't do it!

1070
00:44:52.500 --> 00:44:55.749
I didn't! I-- I didn't even know
that females could do that!

1071
00:44:55.750 --> 00:44:56.832
Oh, Abby.

1072
00:44:56.833 --> 00:44:58.541
Go to your room!

1073
00:44:59.041 --> 00:45:00.165
This is my room.

1074
00:45:00.166 --> 00:45:02.040
[both screaming]
Now!

1075
00:45:02.041 --> 00:45:03.915
[Abby/Santa Monica screaming]

1076
00:45:03.916 --> 00:45:06.332
[yelling] You jizzed on your dad!

1077
00:45:06.333 --> 00:45:08.957
Okay, I'm done,
I don't wanna do this anymore.

1078
00:45:08.958 --> 00:45:10.666
- It's not fun scary.
- Go, go.

1079
00:45:11.125 --> 00:45:13.791
- [♪ dark dramatic music playing]
- [groaning]

1080
00:45:15.250 --> 00:45:16.500
[chains rattling]

1081
00:45:17.125 --> 00:45:18.374
[Santa Monica] Help!

1082
00:45:18.375 --> 00:45:20.125
Help! I'm caught!

1083
00:45:21.375 --> 00:45:22.374
Ah!

1084
00:45:22.375 --> 00:45:23.457
- Come on!
- Okay!

1085
00:45:23.458 --> 00:45:25.250
[both grunting]

1086
00:45:26.541 --> 00:45:28.375
[zombies snarling]

1087
00:45:28.833 --> 00:45:30.457
[Abby] What the fuck?

1088
00:45:30.458 --> 00:45:31.832
[low growling]

1089
00:45:31.833 --> 00:45:34.166
- [Abby/Santa Monica screaming]
- Oh, God!

1090
00:45:36.375 --> 00:45:38.165
- Sixty-four dollars!
- What?!

1091
00:45:38.166 --> 00:45:39.500
[calmly] Sixty-four dollars.

1092
00:45:40.833 --> 00:45:42.415
- [card reader dings]
- Fun, right?

1093
00:45:42.416 --> 00:45:44.915
[printer whirring]

1094
00:45:44.916 --> 00:45:47.041
[♪ "Heart of Stone"
continues softly playing]

1095
00:45:47.958 --> 00:45:50.124
- [paper ripping]
- [register beeping]

1096
00:45:50.125 --> 00:45:51.625
[softly] Goddammit.

1097
00:45:52.083 --> 00:45:54.457
- Okay, barf.
- [cell phone chimes]

1098
00:45:54.458 --> 00:45:57.291
This looks like a toilet became a sweater.

1099
00:45:58.000 --> 00:45:59.000
Ew.

1100
00:46:00.708 --> 00:46:02.749
[sighs] Oh, my God.

1101
00:46:02.750 --> 00:46:05.999
This is, like, covered in dog hair,

1102
00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:07.791
so that's not gonna work.

1103
00:46:08.666 --> 00:46:09.875
Jesus.

1104
00:46:11.083 --> 00:46:13.082
How do you have zero fuck-me clothes?

1105
00:46:13.083 --> 00:46:14.832
What? No, this one's nice.

1106
00:46:14.833 --> 00:46:16.040
I got it from the Gap.

1107
00:46:16.041 --> 00:46:18.958
Okay, well no one's gonna wanna
touch your gap wearing that.

1108
00:46:19.583 --> 00:46:21.665
[sighs] Alright, I can't
believe I'm saying this,

1109
00:46:21.666 --> 00:46:24.000
but I think we have to
raid your mom's closet.

1110
00:46:26.791 --> 00:46:30.290
Question, where did
you go in the Love Hut?

1111
00:46:30.291 --> 00:46:31.415
What do you mean?

1112
00:46:31.416 --> 00:46:33.832
[Santa Monica] You were, like,
checked out as shit.

1113
00:46:33.833 --> 00:46:36.082
Um... I mean...

1114
00:46:36.083 --> 00:46:37.832
sometimes I have fantasies.

1115
00:46:37.833 --> 00:46:40.207
Ooh, kinky. I love it.

1116
00:46:40.208 --> 00:46:42.207
[scoffs] Not, like, sexual.

1117
00:46:42.208 --> 00:46:44.083
More like, um...

1118
00:46:44.500 --> 00:46:47.790
I get nervous and my brain goes places

1119
00:46:47.791 --> 00:46:51.833
that make everything seem
wonderful and perfect.

1120
00:46:52.375 --> 00:46:55.290
Except for this one.
This one was off the rails.

1121
00:46:55.291 --> 00:46:56.707
[Santa Monica] I'm no therapist,

1122
00:46:56.708 --> 00:46:59.374
but I do, like, listen
to bald guys with boners

1123
00:46:59.375 --> 00:47:01.291
talk about their wives for a living.

1124
00:47:02.041 --> 00:47:06.083
But it sounds to me like
maybe you're protecting yourself.

1125
00:47:07.166 --> 00:47:08.291
[Abby] I guess.

1126
00:47:08.875 --> 00:47:09.915
It kinda sucks though

1127
00:47:09.916 --> 00:47:12.666
'cause then I miss
what's actually happening.

1128
00:47:13.125 --> 00:47:15.665
Well, maybe if you were
more confident in your reality,

1129
00:47:15.666 --> 00:47:18.166
you'd stop fantasizing, right?

1130
00:47:18.833 --> 00:47:21.040
In the meantime,
I don't know, pinch your thigh

1131
00:47:21.041 --> 00:47:23.333
when you go to "too good to be true" land.

1132
00:47:25.083 --> 00:47:26.582
That's a good tip.

1133
00:47:26.583 --> 00:47:30.333
Ooh! Okay, suit.

1134
00:47:33.041 --> 00:47:34.583
Okay, wait, this is kinda chic.

1135
00:47:35.208 --> 00:47:37.457
You look like someone named Judy.

1136
00:47:37.458 --> 00:47:40.040
[hoarsely] Hi, I'm Judy,
and I'm taking away your kids

1137
00:47:40.041 --> 00:47:41.540
'cause you have a pill problem.

1138
00:47:41.541 --> 00:47:42.790
[both chuckle]

1139
00:47:42.791 --> 00:47:44.207
Oh, you should wear that
to your reunion.

1140
00:47:44.208 --> 00:47:46.249
Yeah, I'm not going to that.

1141
00:47:46.250 --> 00:47:48.165
How come? You should.

1142
00:47:48.166 --> 00:47:50.416
If I were as cool as you, I'd totally go.

1143
00:47:51.250 --> 00:47:52.416
Dork.

1144
00:47:52.916 --> 00:47:55.832
Okay, there's no way around this.

1145
00:47:55.833 --> 00:47:58.749
These clothes are ass
and mine are amazing.

1146
00:47:58.750 --> 00:48:02.124
So I think you need to borrow some of mine
for that party on Saturday.

1147
00:48:02.125 --> 00:48:05.083
There was definitely
a nicer way of saying that.

1148
00:48:05.666 --> 00:48:06.750
Bye.

1149
00:48:07.583 --> 00:48:08.583
Hey.

1150
00:48:08.833 --> 00:48:09.999
[vibrator buzzing]

1151
00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:11.166
Buzz off.

1152
00:48:11.833 --> 00:48:12.874
Stupid.

1153
00:48:12.875 --> 00:48:14.250
[Abby chuckles]

1154
00:48:19.708 --> 00:48:21.000
[knock on door]

1155
00:48:21.333 --> 00:48:23.457
You're really killing my vi...

1156
00:48:23.458 --> 00:48:25.291
[buzzing continues]

1157
00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:28.415
- [buzzing stops]
- Hi.

1158
00:48:28.416 --> 00:48:30.374
Uh, I'm Lily Rose.

1159
00:48:30.375 --> 00:48:32.333
Your mom told me to drop by.

1160
00:48:33.000 --> 00:48:34.125
Of course you are.

1161
00:48:35.750 --> 00:48:36.749
Do come in.

1162
00:48:36.750 --> 00:48:38.082
[birds chirping]

1163
00:48:38.083 --> 00:48:39.250
I'm okay.

1164
00:48:41.333 --> 00:48:43.125
[puzzle pieces rattling]

1165
00:48:43.833 --> 00:48:44.832
[chuckles]

1166
00:48:44.833 --> 00:48:47.207
<i>♪ So I heard the bad news ♪</i>

1167
00:48:47.208 --> 00:48:48.707
[♪ "Number One Fan" by MUNA playing]

1168
00:48:48.708 --> 00:48:50.749
<i>- ♪ Nobody likes me ♪</i>
- [cheering]

1169
00:48:50.750 --> 00:48:55.249
<i>♪ And I'm gonna die alone in my bedroom ♪</i>

1170
00:48:55.250 --> 00:48:56.707
- Word!
- Yes, bitch.

1171
00:48:56.708 --> 00:49:00.832
<i>♪ Lookin' at strangers on my telephone ♪</i>

1172
00:49:00.833 --> 00:49:02.707
<i>- ♪ Well, what do you know ♪</i>
- [laughing]

1173
00:49:02.708 --> 00:49:03.916
What's happening?

1174
00:49:04.541 --> 00:49:08.874
<i>♪ Wouldn't you like
if I believed those words? ♪</i>

1175
00:49:08.875 --> 00:49:10.374
<i>♪ If I'm born to lose ♪</i>

1176
00:49:10.375 --> 00:49:12.249
You know we're not supposed
to be in here after hours?

1177
00:49:12.250 --> 00:49:13.540
[gasps] Oh, my God.

1178
00:49:13.541 --> 00:49:14.749
<i>♪ Myself in the mirror ♪</i>

1179
00:49:14.750 --> 00:49:17.000
<i>- ♪ Saying don't leave me now... ♪</i>
- [whistle blows]

1180
00:49:17.333 --> 00:49:18.374
Do guys fake it?

1181
00:49:18.375 --> 00:49:21.332
Not with me--
or ever, probably.

1182
00:49:21.333 --> 00:49:22.832
What do you do with the balls?

1183
00:49:22.833 --> 00:49:24.415
Treat 'em like a bug bite.

1184
00:49:24.416 --> 00:49:26.374
You know it's there
but you try and ignore it.

1185
00:49:26.375 --> 00:49:27.624
Is the G-spot real?

1186
00:49:27.625 --> 00:49:28.957
Oh, yeah.

1187
00:49:28.958 --> 00:49:31.082
Hook in and you'll find it.

1188
00:49:31.083 --> 00:49:32.790
[chuckling] Nice.
Is the H-spot real?

1189
00:49:32.791 --> 00:49:34.707
Absolutely not, you made that up.

1190
00:49:34.708 --> 00:49:36.625
How do you eat with the mask on?

1191
00:49:37.250 --> 00:49:39.541
- [♪ music stops]
- [Bernie] There's a hole under the snout.

1192
00:49:40.125 --> 00:49:43.540
- [♪ "Number One Fan" resumes playing]
- [onlookers cheering]

1193
00:49:43.541 --> 00:49:45.291
♪

1194
00:49:45.791 --> 00:49:46.833
[Abby laughing]

1195
00:49:47.666 --> 00:49:49.790
[Santa Monica] DJ Don! DJ Don!

1196
00:49:49.791 --> 00:49:51.500
<i>♪ So, here's the bad news ♪</i>

1197
00:49:52.708 --> 00:49:55.124
<i>♪ I'm coming for everyone ♪</i>

1198
00:49:55.125 --> 00:49:57.124
<i>♪ And coming on strong... ♪</i>

1199
00:49:57.125 --> 00:49:58.208
Hi, Max.

1200
00:49:59.750 --> 00:50:00.750
[grunting]

1201
00:50:01.625 --> 00:50:02.625
Any questions?

1202
00:50:03.166 --> 00:50:05.124
- No, I think I got it.
- Okay.

1203
00:50:05.125 --> 00:50:06.624
Now be careful.

1204
00:50:06.625 --> 00:50:08.208
He's rock hard.

1205
00:50:09.125 --> 00:50:11.040
- [both] Ohh!
- [head clattering]

1206
00:50:11.041 --> 00:50:13.624
Yeah, don't do that to Max.

1207
00:50:13.625 --> 00:50:15.165
♪

1208
00:50:15.166 --> 00:50:17.041
Hey, does this feel like the right spot?

1209
00:50:17.541 --> 00:50:21.000
[Abby] Uh, lower. A little to the left.

1210
00:50:22.458 --> 00:50:24.333
- Yeah, it feels good.
- [Max Warren] Cool.

1211
00:50:26.208 --> 00:50:27.249
Wait, are we watching a movie?

1212
00:50:27.250 --> 00:50:29.249
No, I don't have time
to watch a whole movie with you.

1213
00:50:29.250 --> 00:50:30.499
But I have to watch it?

1214
00:50:30.500 --> 00:50:33.249
<i>Risky Business</i> was
my sexual awakening.

1215
00:50:33.250 --> 00:50:35.624
I mean, come on, Tom Cruise
and the men's button-down

1216
00:50:35.625 --> 00:50:37.290
and the tighty-whities and socks?

1217
00:50:37.291 --> 00:50:38.374
Wait, where were his pants?

1218
00:50:38.375 --> 00:50:39.458
Who gives a shit?

1219
00:50:40.416 --> 00:50:41.665
"Who gives a shit."

1220
00:50:41.666 --> 00:50:43.833
[teacher] Hey, you can't be in here!

1221
00:50:44.875 --> 00:50:48.832
Alright, rule of thumb,
if you're a good dancer,

1222
00:50:48.833 --> 00:50:50.749
- you're good in bed.
- [all] Amen.

1223
00:50:50.750 --> 00:50:52.625
Trust me, I'm a great dancer.

1224
00:50:54.458 --> 00:50:56.457
I-I'm just not into dancing in public.

1225
00:50:56.458 --> 00:50:58.332
- Do the "Macarena."
- It's a safe space.

1226
00:50:58.333 --> 00:50:59.415
- [Destiny] Yeah.
- Come on,

1227
00:50:59.416 --> 00:51:00.749
who made up that stupid rule anyway?

1228
00:51:00.750 --> 00:51:01.999
The same person that said,

1229
00:51:02.000 --> 00:51:03.624
"You know what a woman's bush looks like

1230
00:51:03.625 --> 00:51:05.582
by the way she takes care of her nails."

1231
00:51:05.583 --> 00:51:06.832
- [Angel] That is true.
- [DJ Don] Preach.

1232
00:51:06.833 --> 00:51:07.915
- [Destiny] Ooh.
- Oh, you got...

1233
00:51:07.916 --> 00:51:09.624
- You got a little girl...
- Let me see that.

1234
00:51:09.625 --> 00:51:12.249
Oh, no! Get away from me.
Get away from me!

1235
00:51:12.250 --> 00:51:15.624
Abby, just to be clear,
pubes friggin' rule, girl.

1236
00:51:15.625 --> 00:51:17.457
- No. No, no, no!
- Let me see those nails!

1237
00:51:17.458 --> 00:51:18.916
- [overlapping yelling]
- My girls.

1238
00:51:19.500 --> 00:51:21.500
[♪ "Number One Fan" continues playing]

1239
00:51:21.708 --> 00:51:23.624
- [wax ripping]
- Ow!

1240
00:51:23.625 --> 00:51:25.665
What the fuck?!

1241
00:51:25.666 --> 00:51:29.499
<i>♪ So iconic, like big, like stan, like ♪</i>

1242
00:51:29.500 --> 00:51:32.832
<i>♪ I would give my life
just to hold your hand ♪</i>

1243
00:51:32.833 --> 00:51:34.749
<i>♪ I'm your number one fan ♪</i>

1244
00:51:34.750 --> 00:51:37.665
<i>♪ I'm your number one, number one fan ♪</i>

1245
00:51:37.666 --> 00:51:40.165
<i>♪ Oh, my God, like,
I'm your number one fan ♪</i>

1246
00:51:40.166 --> 00:51:41.374
- Hi.
- Hey.

1247
00:51:41.375 --> 00:51:44.874
<i>♪ So iconic, like big, like stan, like ♪</i>

1248
00:51:44.875 --> 00:51:46.332
<i>♪ I would give my life ♪</i>

1249
00:51:46.333 --> 00:51:48.374
<i>- ♪ Just to hold your hand ♪</i>
- [high-pitched ringing]

1250
00:51:48.375 --> 00:51:50.374
[music tempo slowing]
<i>♪ I'm your number one fan ♪</i>

1251
00:51:50.375 --> 00:51:53.457
[song distorting]
<i>♪ I'm your number one, number one fan ♪</i>

1252
00:51:53.458 --> 00:51:58.624
<i>♪ Oh, my God, like, I'm your number one ♪</i>

1253
00:51:58.625 --> 00:52:00.499
[music tempo speeds up]
<i>♪ Number one fan ♪</i>

1254
00:52:00.500 --> 00:52:01.749
Hmm.

1255
00:52:01.750 --> 00:52:03.207
[♪ song playing at normal tempo]

1256
00:52:03.208 --> 00:52:05.457
♪

1257
00:52:05.458 --> 00:52:07.499
<i>♪ Number one, number one ♪</i>

1258
00:52:07.500 --> 00:52:09.958
- [school bell ringing]
- [students chattering]

1259
00:52:10.541 --> 00:52:12.957
1-800-Damn!

1260
00:52:12.958 --> 00:52:15.999
- Okay, little skirt moment.
- [Abby chuckles]

1261
00:52:16.000 --> 00:52:17.915
Is that why you called me over here?

1262
00:52:17.916 --> 00:52:20.832
Um, I just thought we should celebrate.

1263
00:52:20.833 --> 00:52:22.541
- [garage door whirring]
- What?

1264
00:52:29.750 --> 00:52:32.333
You've had this the whole time?!

1265
00:52:32.916 --> 00:52:34.540
[Abby] Um, well, yeah.

1266
00:52:34.541 --> 00:52:36.791
Girl, let's fuckin' party.

1267
00:52:37.375 --> 00:52:39.832
Oh, I thought we could
just drive the car.

1268
00:52:39.833 --> 00:52:42.541
Yeah, that's... that's what I meant.

1269
00:52:43.416 --> 00:52:44.666
Oh, cool.

1270
00:52:45.333 --> 00:52:47.749
[♪ "Santa Ana" by Pop Noir playing]

1271
00:52:47.750 --> 00:52:49.374
[Santa Monica] Hey, check this out.

1272
00:52:49.375 --> 00:52:51.124
Sixty-nine!

1273
00:52:51.125 --> 00:52:54.208
[both screaming]

1274
00:52:55.166 --> 00:52:57.708
- [Abby screaming]
- [Santa Monica laughs]

1275
00:52:58.625 --> 00:53:01.791
[♪ "Santa Ana" continues playing]

1276
00:53:03.041 --> 00:53:05.041
[inaudible]

1277
00:53:13.000 --> 00:53:14.999
- No!
- [engine shuts off]

1278
00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:18.332
You were cool for, like, 15 whole seconds.

1279
00:53:18.333 --> 00:53:20.082
<i>Wild Wild Dead</i> is coming out today.

1280
00:53:20.083 --> 00:53:22.541
They're doing a physical release
before it comes out online.

1281
00:53:23.375 --> 00:53:24.374
[Abby groans]

1282
00:53:24.375 --> 00:53:26.458
[people chattering]

1283
00:53:27.000 --> 00:53:28.040
Come on.

1284
00:53:28.041 --> 00:53:29.832
- [unenthusiastically] No.
- [Abby] Yes, come on.

1285
00:53:29.833 --> 00:53:31.250
No.

1286
00:53:31.625 --> 00:53:32.791
Come on.

1287
00:53:33.458 --> 00:53:34.791
- Ugh.
- Oh, my God.

1288
00:53:35.291 --> 00:53:39.415
- Two hours for a fucking video game?
- [Abby] Come on, we're almost there.

1289
00:53:39.416 --> 00:53:40.500
[cashier] Next zombie.

1290
00:53:42.333 --> 00:53:44.665
No wonder you didn't know
anything about sex.

1291
00:53:44.666 --> 00:53:46.957
Look at the crowd you run in.

1292
00:53:46.958 --> 00:53:48.958
What were you like in high school?

1293
00:53:49.500 --> 00:53:50.666
Pretty.

1294
00:53:51.125 --> 00:53:52.415
And?

1295
00:53:52.416 --> 00:53:54.083
And really pretty.

1296
00:53:54.958 --> 00:53:57.750
Super attractive, gorgeous, hot.

1297
00:53:58.666 --> 00:54:00.665
Girls hated me, guys jacked off to me.

1298
00:54:00.666 --> 00:54:02.708
So, I didn't really hang out with anyone.

1299
00:54:03.291 --> 00:54:04.707
You were a loner?

1300
00:54:04.708 --> 00:54:05.832
Like me.

1301
00:54:05.833 --> 00:54:08.707
Well, a little different.

1302
00:54:08.708 --> 00:54:10.125
- How so?
- [cashier] Next zombie.

1303
00:54:14.416 --> 00:54:16.624
Would you like a free
<i>Wild Wild Dead</i> zombie costume?

1304
00:54:16.625 --> 00:54:18.791
- Yes, please.
- Fuck, no. [sarcastic chuckle]

1305
00:54:19.083 --> 00:54:20.499
Okay, I can only give one per customer.

1306
00:54:20.500 --> 00:54:22.958
- Oh, I'm good, thanks.
- Okay.

1307
00:54:23.750 --> 00:54:25.415
[cell phone buzzing]

1308
00:54:25.416 --> 00:54:28.415
Oh, shit. Ugh. I totally forgot.

1309
00:54:28.416 --> 00:54:29.707
- Thank you.
- [Santa Monica sighs]

1310
00:54:29.708 --> 00:54:31.000
- Thanks.
- Bye.

1311
00:54:31.708 --> 00:54:32.916
Next zombie.

1312
00:54:33.458 --> 00:54:35.624
[indistinct chatter]

1313
00:54:35.625 --> 00:54:37.000
Hey, what's wrong?

1314
00:54:37.291 --> 00:54:39.332
I had Betty book me on
any house calls that came in.

1315
00:54:39.333 --> 00:54:40.875
I forgot I had one tonight.

1316
00:54:41.958 --> 00:54:43.374
Fuck, I'm screwed.

1317
00:54:43.375 --> 00:54:45.000
- I can drive you. I can take you.
- [cell phone chimes]

1318
00:54:45.625 --> 00:54:47.250
No, no.

1319
00:54:49.416 --> 00:54:50.624
[cell phone chimes]

1320
00:54:50.625 --> 00:54:51.958
You sure?

1321
00:54:54.666 --> 00:54:55.790
[cell phone beeps]

1322
00:54:55.791 --> 00:54:57.083
I got you. Get in.

1323
00:55:03.416 --> 00:55:04.749
- Is this it?
- [Santa Monica] Yeah.

1324
00:55:04.750 --> 00:55:05.833
[dog barking]

1325
00:55:07.083 --> 00:55:08.957
I don't think you should go in there.

1326
00:55:08.958 --> 00:55:11.125
Okay. Well, I don't really have a choice.

1327
00:55:12.291 --> 00:55:13.915
Okay, look, it's clearly shady,

1328
00:55:13.916 --> 00:55:16.208
so just don't get outta the car, okay?

1329
00:55:16.958 --> 00:55:18.875
- It's, it's real creep--
- Don't worry.

1330
00:55:20.458 --> 00:55:21.583
I'll be fine.

1331
00:55:23.166 --> 00:55:24.333
I'll be fine.

1332
00:55:24.625 --> 00:55:25.625
[dog barking]

1333
00:55:29.500 --> 00:55:32.916
[♪ "Too Fast Too Soon"
by Guilhem Hatt playing]

1334
00:55:36.916 --> 00:55:38.582
<i>♪ We may love too soon ♪</i>

1335
00:55:38.583 --> 00:55:40.375
This shit is kicking in.

1336
00:55:43.333 --> 00:55:46.249
<i>- ♪ We may love too soon ♪</i>
- Fuck it.

1337
00:55:46.250 --> 00:55:48.333
[crickets chirping]

1338
00:55:49.166 --> 00:55:51.124
[Abby] <i>I had never
had this feeling before.</i>

1339
00:55:51.125 --> 00:55:52.207
[exhales sharply]

1340
00:55:52.208 --> 00:55:54.290
<i>I was nervous, like I always am,</i>

1341
00:55:54.291 --> 00:55:56.665
<i>but this time, for Santa Monica.</i>

1342
00:55:56.666 --> 00:55:58.290
[snorting]

1343
00:55:58.291 --> 00:56:00.541
[♪ "Too Fast Too Soon" continues playing]

1344
00:56:01.125 --> 00:56:02.208
[exhales]

1345
00:56:03.958 --> 00:56:05.707
Okay, don't touch me.

1346
00:56:05.708 --> 00:56:07.333
<i>♪ Kinda shame ♪</i>

1347
00:56:08.250 --> 00:56:09.250
[dog barking outside]

1348
00:56:09.916 --> 00:56:11.250
- You want some?
- No.

1349
00:56:11.541 --> 00:56:12.999
[druggie 1] Don't give
the hooker our blow.

1350
00:56:13.000 --> 00:56:14.583
I'm not a fucking hooker.

1351
00:56:15.416 --> 00:56:16.999
You're whatever we say you are.

1352
00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:20.000
[♪ "Too Fast Too Soon" continues playing]

1353
00:56:21.125 --> 00:56:22.125
[Santa Monica sighing]

1354
00:56:23.291 --> 00:56:24.374
Come see my room.

1355
00:56:24.375 --> 00:56:25.749
- Okay. Alright.
- Come on.

1356
00:56:25.750 --> 00:56:27.540
- [Santa Monica] Fuck this!
- [druggie 2] Aw, come on.

1357
00:56:27.541 --> 00:56:28.749
Come back.

1358
00:56:28.750 --> 00:56:30.458
We're just fuckin' around.

1359
00:56:31.041 --> 00:56:32.708
[panting]

1360
00:56:33.250 --> 00:56:34.458
[dog barking]

1361
00:56:35.375 --> 00:56:36.916
[Santa Monica] Alright, go! Go, go.

1362
00:56:38.041 --> 00:56:40.208
Fuck! Fuck.

1363
00:56:40.958 --> 00:56:41.958
Shit.

1364
00:56:42.416 --> 00:56:43.832
[dog continues barking]

1365
00:56:43.833 --> 00:56:44.916
[whispering] Abby?

1366
00:56:45.833 --> 00:56:47.082
Abby?

1367
00:56:47.083 --> 00:56:49.291
[muffled indistinct chatter]

1368
00:56:49.958 --> 00:56:51.958
[♪ "Perfect Day" by Lou Reed playing]

1369
00:56:52.541 --> 00:56:54.415
[druggie 1] We need more fucking coke.

1370
00:56:54.416 --> 00:56:56.500
<i>♪ Problems are left to know ♪</i>

1371
00:56:59.125 --> 00:57:02.249
<i>♪ Weekenders all night long ♪</i>

1372
00:57:02.250 --> 00:57:03.332
[whispering] Fuck!

1373
00:57:03.333 --> 00:57:05.416
<i>♪ It's such fun ♪</i>

1374
00:57:08.416 --> 00:57:09.499
[door slams open]

1375
00:57:09.500 --> 00:57:11.040
[high-pitched screaming]

1376
00:57:11.041 --> 00:57:12.165
[Santa Monica] Abby!

1377
00:57:12.166 --> 00:57:13.665
[Abby snarling, growling]

1378
00:57:13.666 --> 00:57:15.165
[screaming continues]

1379
00:57:15.166 --> 00:57:16.374
[growling]

1380
00:57:16.375 --> 00:57:17.457
[druggie 3] Oh, shit!

1381
00:57:17.458 --> 00:57:19.000
I shouldn't have taken that second pill.

1382
00:57:19.291 --> 00:57:22.083
- [Abby] [growls] Run!
- Oh.

1383
00:57:22.500 --> 00:57:24.124
- [Abby] Okay, let's go.
- [Santa Monica] Go, go!

1384
00:57:24.125 --> 00:57:25.207
That fuckin' bitch!

1385
00:57:25.208 --> 00:57:27.290
[♪ "Perfect Day" continues playing]

1386
00:57:27.291 --> 00:57:32.540
<i>♪ Oh, it's such a perfect day ♪</i>

1387
00:57:32.541 --> 00:57:37.625
<i>♪ I'm glad I spent it with you ♪</i>

1388
00:57:38.208 --> 00:57:41.332
<i>♪ Oh, such a perfect day ♪</i>

1389
00:57:41.333 --> 00:57:46.332
<i>♪ You just keep me hangin' on ♪</i>

1390
00:57:46.333 --> 00:57:51.874
<i>♪ You just keep me
hangin' on ♪</i>

1391
00:57:51.875 --> 00:57:54.375
♪

1392
00:57:59.958 --> 00:58:01.665
[inaudible]

1393
00:58:01.666 --> 00:58:03.125
[tires screeching]

1394
00:58:04.250 --> 00:58:07.291
[Santa Monica] Fuck you!

1395
00:58:08.375 --> 00:58:10.291
[laughing]

1396
00:58:11.291 --> 00:58:13.124
I can't believe you did that for me.

1397
00:58:13.125 --> 00:58:15.332
- [Abby chuckles]
- I mean, no one have ever--

1398
00:58:15.333 --> 00:58:16.707
Dressed like a zombie for you?

1399
00:58:16.708 --> 00:58:18.457
Don't deflect.

1400
00:58:18.458 --> 00:58:20.583
That was very badass
what you did back there.

1401
00:58:22.750 --> 00:58:23.957
Thanks.

1402
00:58:23.958 --> 00:58:25.665
Hey, earlier you said
we were celebrating.

1403
00:58:25.666 --> 00:58:26.790
What are we celebrating?

1404
00:58:26.791 --> 00:58:28.290
The loss of half of your pubic hair?

1405
00:58:28.291 --> 00:58:31.707
Uh, no. Um, it's my birthday.

1406
00:58:31.708 --> 00:58:32.791
No shit.

1407
00:58:33.833 --> 00:58:35.165
Dude, happy birthday.

1408
00:58:35.166 --> 00:58:36.249
Thanks.

1409
00:58:36.250 --> 00:58:37.457
- I have to pee.
- It was a weird--

1410
00:58:37.458 --> 00:58:39.333
Oh, okay. Yeah.

1411
00:58:41.666 --> 00:58:44.041
[people chattering]

1412
00:58:45.750 --> 00:58:47.749
[Abby] <i>Maybe it was
because of Santa Monica,</i>

1413
00:58:47.750 --> 00:58:50.207
<i>but people started
looking at me differently.</i>

1414
00:58:50.208 --> 00:58:51.583
<i>It felt kinda cool.</i>

1415
00:58:52.125 --> 00:58:53.125
[gasps]

1416
00:58:57.125 --> 00:59:01.500
[group singing]
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

1417
00:59:02.083 --> 00:59:06.166
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

1418
00:59:06.791 --> 00:59:12.333
<i>♪ Happy birthday, dear Abby ♪</i>

1419
00:59:12.791 --> 00:59:16.665
<i>♪ Happy birthday to you ♪</i>

1420
00:59:16.666 --> 00:59:20.208
- [Santa Monica] Yay!
- [cheering and applause]

1421
00:59:21.541 --> 00:59:24.375
Make a wish! I wonder what it is.

1422
00:59:26.416 --> 00:59:28.375
[♪ gentle music playing]

1423
00:59:29.666 --> 00:59:31.125
[Santa Monica chuckles]

1424
00:59:33.333 --> 00:59:35.000
Happy birthday, Abby.

1425
00:59:46.666 --> 00:59:49.208
[♪ gentle music continues]

1426
00:59:50.166 --> 00:59:52.790
Well, that was kind of fun,
in, like, a weird way.

1427
00:59:52.791 --> 00:59:53.875
[Abby] Mm.

1428
00:59:54.833 --> 00:59:55.833
Oh, hey, Santi?

1429
00:59:56.791 --> 00:59:59.332
Um, I-- I don't wanna overstep.

1430
00:59:59.333 --> 01:00:01.208
I know it's your job but...

1431
01:00:02.041 --> 01:00:03.999
I don't know, those guys tonight
were really scary.

1432
01:00:04.000 --> 01:00:06.166
I just don't think you should be
doing that anymore.

1433
01:00:07.458 --> 01:00:10.083
Okay, well, thanks to you
that was my last one.

1434
01:00:11.083 --> 01:00:12.458
Me? Why me?

1435
01:00:13.208 --> 01:00:17.041
I'm using the 20,000 you're paying me
to buy Diamond Dolls.

1436
01:00:18.541 --> 01:00:21.290
Betty was gonna lose the club
if we didn't raise money in time.

1437
01:00:21.291 --> 01:00:25.375
And... honestly it's always
been my dream to own it.

1438
01:00:26.625 --> 01:00:28.790
Anyway, this jerk was gonna take it over.

1439
01:00:28.791 --> 01:00:30.832
But because if you,
I get to save the club

1440
01:00:30.833 --> 01:00:32.500
and my work family.

1441
01:00:35.125 --> 01:00:38.165
You know, I wasn't gonna go
to my high school reunion

1442
01:00:38.166 --> 01:00:41.332
'cause I hadn't done
anything with my life.

1443
01:00:41.333 --> 01:00:44.040
But now I get to go back
as a business owner.

1444
01:00:44.041 --> 01:00:46.750
And I'm sorry,
like a fuckin' hot one at that.

1445
01:00:49.083 --> 01:00:50.332
What?

1446
01:00:50.333 --> 01:00:52.124
Sorry. Um...

1447
01:00:52.125 --> 01:00:55.290
You've just... never talked
about your personal life.

1448
01:00:55.291 --> 01:00:58.125
Well, money talks.
And I'm getting mine on Saturday.

1449
01:01:02.083 --> 01:01:05.083
Hey, tomorrow's
your last day of high school.

1450
01:01:05.875 --> 01:01:08.083
I think it's okay
to flirt a little with Max.

1451
01:01:08.875 --> 01:01:10.750
- Max.
- Go for it.

1452
01:01:11.375 --> 01:01:12.375
Call me.

1453
01:01:15.541 --> 01:01:18.083
[♪ soft music playing]

1454
01:01:20.208 --> 01:01:22.749
[Abby] <i>That night I didn't sleep at all.</i>

1455
01:01:22.750 --> 01:01:26.082
<i>I had finally started
to get close to Santa Monica.</i>

1456
01:01:26.083 --> 01:01:27.583
<i>There was only one problem.</i>

1457
01:01:28.750 --> 01:01:29.749
[door squeaking]

1458
01:01:29.750 --> 01:01:31.208
<i>I didn't have the money.</i>

1459
01:01:33.125 --> 01:01:34.124
[door slams]

1460
01:01:34.125 --> 01:01:35.499
<i>I was selfish and stupid</i>

1461
01:01:35.500 --> 01:01:38.499
<i>and shouldn't have been
canceling games all week.</i>

1462
01:01:38.500 --> 01:01:40.832
<i>I really thought I had more time.</i>

1463
01:01:40.833 --> 01:01:44.249
<i>I needed to focus
on getting the money, and fast.</i>

1464
01:01:44.250 --> 01:01:46.540
<i>Nothing would break my concentration.</i>

1465
01:01:46.541 --> 01:01:48.666
- Hey, Cherry Worms.
- Hey, Max.

1466
01:01:49.375 --> 01:01:52.083
Oh. Hi, Max.

1467
01:01:52.875 --> 01:01:55.165
Uh, so I'm having some people
over to my place tomorrow night.

1468
01:01:55.166 --> 01:01:56.250
You gonna make it?

1469
01:01:56.875 --> 01:01:57.958
Uh, I...

1470
01:01:59.291 --> 01:02:00.665
Ye-- Yes. Yes.

1471
01:02:00.666 --> 01:02:02.665
I am physically able to make a party.

1472
01:02:02.666 --> 01:02:04.291
I think I can make it.

1473
01:02:04.916 --> 01:02:06.333
Nice. Well, I hope you come.

1474
01:02:07.291 --> 01:02:09.041
Uh, great, I hope you come, too.

1475
01:02:09.875 --> 01:02:11.707
Yeah, yeah, I'll be there.
I live there, so...

1476
01:02:11.708 --> 01:02:13.750
- Oh. Convenient.
- [Max] Yeah, yeah.

1477
01:02:14.375 --> 01:02:15.750
- [Abby] Okay.
- [chuckles]

1478
01:02:17.500 --> 01:02:19.875
- Bye.
- Bye. [laughs]

1479
01:02:22.833 --> 01:02:26.250
[school bell ringing]

1480
01:02:26.375 --> 01:02:28.250
[students chattering]

1481
01:02:36.083 --> 01:02:38.000
[line ringing]

1482
01:02:39.916 --> 01:02:42.999
[Margaret] [on FaceTime]
<i>Hi,</i> anak. <i>How was your birthday?</i>

1483
01:02:43.000 --> 01:02:44.540
<i>Did Lily Rose stop by?</i>

1484
01:02:44.541 --> 01:02:46.457
<i>I really want you to make a friend,</i> mahal.

1485
01:02:46.458 --> 01:02:48.207
Uh, I-- I don't really have time
to talk right now.

1486
01:02:48.208 --> 01:02:50.958
I just wanted to, uh,
throw an idea your way.

1487
01:02:51.666 --> 01:02:52.874
<i>Oh, okay.</i>

1488
01:02:52.875 --> 01:02:56.540
Um, what if no college?

1489
01:02:56.541 --> 01:02:58.374
[Margaret] <i>Oh, here comes your father.</i>

1490
01:02:58.375 --> 01:02:59.665
<i>Abigail, I don't get the joke.</i>

1491
01:02:59.666 --> 01:03:00.999
<i>And we're unboxing a Squatty Potty.</i>

1492
01:03:01.000 --> 01:03:02.374
<i>Are you in some sort of trouble?</i>

1493
01:03:02.375 --> 01:03:03.582
No, no, not at all.

1494
01:03:03.583 --> 01:03:08.583
I just, um... I wanted to, uh...

1495
01:03:09.625 --> 01:03:13.790
ask if there was any extra cash
lying around the house for pizza.

1496
01:03:13.791 --> 01:03:16.415
[Margaret] <i>Oh, there's
frozen pizza in the freezer.</i>

1497
01:03:16.416 --> 01:03:17.999
<i>Eat now, okay?</i>

1498
01:03:18.000 --> 01:03:19.333
<i>Before you get hungry.</i>

1499
01:03:19.750 --> 01:03:20.999
[Ron] <i>Wave to Grandma.</i>

1500
01:03:21.000 --> 01:03:22.624
- [Grandma] <i>I'm tired.</i>
- [Margaret] <i>Okay, okay.</i>

1501
01:03:22.625 --> 01:03:24.375
<i>- Call you back.</i>
- [call ends]

1502
01:03:26.791 --> 01:03:28.790
[Bernie] Ooh... Yeah, no.

1503
01:03:28.791 --> 01:03:31.207
My dad taught me not to
loan money to anyone.

1504
01:03:31.208 --> 01:03:34.833
What's crazy is my dad just lost his job
and now he needs a loan from me.

1505
01:03:35.500 --> 01:03:36.666
The irony.

1506
01:03:37.333 --> 01:03:38.666
Thanks anyway.

1507
01:03:40.416 --> 01:03:42.249
Again? I didn't even get any info.

1508
01:03:42.250 --> 01:03:44.666
[Bernie] Girl, I charge by appointment.

1509
01:03:45.166 --> 01:03:46.375
- [Abby sighs]
- Come on.

1510
01:03:47.125 --> 01:03:48.166
[cash register dings]

1511
01:03:50.083 --> 01:03:53.915
[Abby] Oh, wow, uh, it looks like I lost

1512
01:03:53.916 --> 01:03:56.333
quite a few subscribers.

1513
01:03:56.916 --> 01:04:01.332
Okay, well, coming on to Glitch
to give all... 38 of you

1514
01:04:01.333 --> 01:04:02.832
an exclusive offer.

1515
01:04:02.833 --> 01:04:04.499
If you donate a hundred bucks,

1516
01:04:04.500 --> 01:04:10.041
I'll give away private game sessions
to the first 150 people.

1517
01:04:11.375 --> 01:04:13.582
[dinging]

1518
01:04:13.583 --> 01:04:15.749
Okay, I am not thirsty.

1519
01:04:15.750 --> 01:04:17.082
- I am just...
- [computer chimes]

1520
01:04:17.083 --> 01:04:18.458
And they're gone.

1521
01:04:21.416 --> 01:04:23.500
[♪ brooding music playing]

1522
01:04:35.958 --> 01:04:37.666
Fuck you, wall art.

1523
01:04:41.875 --> 01:04:43.875
[♪ brooding music continues]

1524
01:04:58.000 --> 01:05:00.208
[neighbors chattering loudly]

1525
01:05:02.041 --> 01:05:03.041
Hello?

1526
01:05:05.333 --> 01:05:06.541
Santi?

1527
01:05:09.625 --> 01:05:10.915
Hello.

1528
01:05:10.916 --> 01:05:13.541
[♪ "Old Time Rock & Roll"
by Bob Seger playing]

1529
01:05:16.875 --> 01:05:18.374
<i>♪ Just take those old records ♪</i>

1530
01:05:18.375 --> 01:05:19.791
- [singing along]
<i>- ♪ Off the shelf ♪</i>

1531
01:05:20.500 --> 01:05:21.915
What are you doing?

1532
01:05:21.916 --> 01:05:23.624
You mean what are <i>we</i> doing?

1533
01:05:23.625 --> 01:05:26.041
We're watching <i>Risky Business.</i>

1534
01:05:27.041 --> 01:05:29.957
Is this part of <i>Risky Business?</i>

1535
01:05:29.958 --> 01:05:32.457
It's the most iconic part.

1536
01:05:32.458 --> 01:05:34.500
- [♪ song stops]
- Okay.

1537
01:05:35.000 --> 01:05:36.666
It's official, we're watching it.

1538
01:05:37.375 --> 01:05:39.582
You have no idea
how long I was waiting back there.

1539
01:05:39.583 --> 01:05:41.458
[panting] Hours.

1540
01:05:42.208 --> 01:05:44.624
Okay, now these are the opening credits.

1541
01:05:44.625 --> 01:05:46.290
These are the actors,

1542
01:05:46.291 --> 01:05:48.082
but they're not gonna be
playing themselves.

1543
01:05:48.083 --> 01:05:50.415
Just, you know...
They're in the movie.

1544
01:05:50.416 --> 01:05:52.958
Are you just explaining
what a movie is to me?

1545
01:05:53.791 --> 01:05:54.790
[Santa Monica] No.

1546
01:05:54.791 --> 01:05:56.540
[Abby] Are you gonna be
talking the whole time?

1547
01:05:56.541 --> 01:05:58.249
Here comes the dance I was doing.
[crunching]

1548
01:05:58.250 --> 01:05:59.582
That one.

1549
01:05:59.583 --> 01:06:01.832
I still don't get why
he doesn't have pants on.

1550
01:06:01.833 --> 01:06:03.290
'Cause it's cool.

1551
01:06:03.291 --> 01:06:05.540
It's cool to not wear pants.

1552
01:06:05.541 --> 01:06:07.665
[Abby] What, so like,
Winnie-the-Pooh is cool now?

1553
01:06:07.666 --> 01:06:09.540
[Santa Monica] Wait, I have
to pause 'cause I have to pee.

1554
01:06:09.541 --> 01:06:11.000
- Okay.
- Just kidding. [chuckles]

1555
01:06:12.000 --> 01:06:13.000
Oh. [chuckles]

1556
01:06:13.875 --> 01:06:15.082
I think it's really messed up

1557
01:06:15.083 --> 01:06:17.249
when your people are watching movies
and then it's like,

1558
01:06:17.250 --> 01:06:19.291
"Oh, pause, let me go to the bathroom."

1559
01:06:19.625 --> 01:06:21.415
It's like, "Oh, so you just
like rule the movie?"

1560
01:06:21.416 --> 01:06:24.125
- [shushing]
- [Santa Monica chuckles]

1561
01:06:25.166 --> 01:06:27.500
[♪ gentle music playing]

1562
01:06:31.000 --> 01:06:32.000
[crunching]

1563
01:06:35.458 --> 01:06:37.000
What'd you think?

1564
01:06:37.458 --> 01:06:39.457
[yawning] Pretty good movie, right?

1565
01:06:39.458 --> 01:06:41.832
In terms of teenage brothel movies,

1566
01:06:41.833 --> 01:06:43.250
I'll give it two thumbs up.

1567
01:06:43.791 --> 01:06:44.916
Okay.

1568
01:06:45.375 --> 01:06:46.708
I have something to show you.

1569
01:06:48.041 --> 01:06:50.124
[sing-song]
<i>♪ Come over here ♪</i>

1570
01:06:50.125 --> 01:06:51.249
Come on.

1571
01:06:51.250 --> 01:06:53.082
- Oh, I'm following you.
- Yeah.

1572
01:06:53.083 --> 01:06:54.750
Check this out.

1573
01:06:57.541 --> 01:06:58.541
[light clicks]

1574
01:06:59.416 --> 01:07:00.832
I'm renaming the club.

1575
01:07:00.833 --> 01:07:02.916
[neon light humming]

1576
01:07:03.666 --> 01:07:05.207
- [softly] Cool.
- Oh.

1577
01:07:05.208 --> 01:07:06.833
And I bought you a little something.

1578
01:07:07.833 --> 01:07:08.833
[wheezing chuckle]

1579
01:07:11.000 --> 01:07:12.332
I don't deserve it.

1580
01:07:12.333 --> 01:07:14.291
I thought it would be great
for tomorrow night.

1581
01:07:17.208 --> 01:07:19.207
- It's perfect.
- [Santa Monica] Really?

1582
01:07:19.208 --> 01:07:21.291
- Yeah.
- Okay.

1583
01:07:23.625 --> 01:07:26.333
Oh, um, I got you something too,
but I didn't buy it.

1584
01:07:26.916 --> 01:07:29.625
Okay, well, it better not be like
a friendship bracelet or some shit.

1585
01:07:30.958 --> 01:07:32.207
Don't open it yet.

1586
01:07:32.208 --> 01:07:33.458
Okay.

1587
01:07:35.166 --> 01:07:36.958
[sighs] Um...

1588
01:07:39.000 --> 01:07:41.124
I actually have to
talk to you about something.

1589
01:07:41.125 --> 01:07:42.957
Wait, it's Friday.

1590
01:07:42.958 --> 01:07:44.291
Today was your last day of school.

1591
01:07:44.708 --> 01:07:45.915
- Yeah.
- [Santa Monica] Uh...

1592
01:07:45.916 --> 01:07:47.540
Shouldn't you be out getting wasted

1593
01:07:47.541 --> 01:07:50.250
instead of watching
'80s movies with an older--

1594
01:07:50.833 --> 01:07:54.291
but still younger... girl?

1595
01:07:58.083 --> 01:08:01.333
Um, can I ask you something?

1596
01:08:02.625 --> 01:08:03.749
[Abby] Yeah.

1597
01:08:03.750 --> 01:08:06.165
What do you think
is actually gonna happen

1598
01:08:06.166 --> 01:08:08.041
if you get to 69 Max?

1599
01:08:08.708 --> 01:08:10.291
- Like after?
- [Santa Monica] Yeah.

1600
01:08:11.333 --> 01:08:13.082
I don't know, I guess

1601
01:08:13.083 --> 01:08:15.375
it'd be great if he became my boyfriend.

1602
01:08:15.875 --> 01:08:19.665
Like... it'd be nice to have someone

1603
01:08:19.666 --> 01:08:21.582
to hang out with me.

1604
01:08:21.583 --> 01:08:23.457
Like, we'd have inside jokes

1605
01:08:23.458 --> 01:08:28.165
and watch movies, braid each other's hair

1606
01:08:28.166 --> 01:08:30.540
and we could tell each other secrets

1607
01:08:30.541 --> 01:08:32.207
and it wouldn't be
embarrassing or anything

1608
01:08:32.208 --> 01:08:35.166
because we love each other
unconditionally, you know?

1609
01:08:35.833 --> 01:08:37.499
Um...

1610
01:08:37.500 --> 01:08:42.166
That sounds like you want a friend.

1611
01:08:42.458 --> 01:08:44.541
[scoffs] What? What do you mean?

1612
01:08:45.458 --> 01:08:48.791
Abby, I hate to do this
before your big night...

1613
01:08:50.333 --> 01:08:52.375
but you're not ready.

1614
01:08:53.708 --> 01:08:55.333
I don't understand.

1615
01:08:56.458 --> 01:08:59.875
I don't think you're ready to 69 Max.

1616
01:09:01.250 --> 01:09:03.665
I promise you, I promise you,
you have time,

1617
01:09:03.666 --> 01:09:07.165
but for now, you're still a kid.

1618
01:09:07.166 --> 01:09:08.541
I am not.

1619
01:09:09.416 --> 01:09:11.832
[sighs] Come on, you thought rim jobs

1620
01:09:11.833 --> 01:09:13.832
were like boob-related foreplay.

1621
01:09:13.833 --> 01:09:15.749
Okay, so I didn't know some things.

1622
01:09:15.750 --> 01:09:17.790
I-- I didn't realize
that you'd hold that against me.

1623
01:09:17.791 --> 01:09:20.291
I'm not. I'm-- I'm sorry, I...

1624
01:09:21.541 --> 01:09:23.250
I'm just trying to be honest with you.

1625
01:09:23.833 --> 01:09:25.041
You don't care.

1626
01:09:26.250 --> 01:09:28.458
All you've ever cared about was the money.

1627
01:09:28.875 --> 01:09:31.416
I'm never gonna hear from you again
the second that you get your hands on it.

1628
01:09:32.375 --> 01:09:33.457
That is not true.

1629
01:09:33.458 --> 01:09:35.291
Let's find out, shall we?

1630
01:09:36.791 --> 01:09:38.791
- Wait, what do you mean?
- I don't have your money!

1631
01:09:45.083 --> 01:09:46.166
Uh...

1632
01:09:47.333 --> 01:09:48.625
I-- I don't.

1633
01:09:49.416 --> 01:09:50.957
I-- I have what I gave you already.

1634
01:09:50.958 --> 01:09:53.916
I don't have your $20,000.

1635
01:09:56.500 --> 01:09:57.750
I'm so sorry.

1636
01:10:00.208 --> 01:10:01.416
You're sorry?

1637
01:10:06.500 --> 01:10:09.833
I have to tell Betty
I don't have the money.

1638
01:10:11.291 --> 01:10:15.165
I have to then tell the women I work with
they're out of a job,

1639
01:10:15.166 --> 01:10:18.166
or worse, working for
a fucking psycho-pervert.

1640
01:10:18.583 --> 01:10:21.540
This isn't like a video game, okay?

1641
01:10:21.541 --> 01:10:23.750
This is my real fucking life.

1642
01:10:25.750 --> 01:10:26.749
I'm s--

1643
01:10:26.750 --> 01:10:27.916
I feel awful.

1644
01:10:28.916 --> 01:10:31.083
Geez. What was the plan, Abby?

1645
01:10:31.541 --> 01:10:34.833
I-I-I-I figured that I could
get it to you over time.

1646
01:10:35.291 --> 01:10:37.457
I mean, do you know
how much of my time you've wasted

1647
01:10:37.458 --> 01:10:40.041
pretending to be something
you're never gonna be?

1648
01:10:43.583 --> 01:10:45.708
- Abby...
- Well, you're one to talk.

1649
01:10:46.791 --> 01:10:47.790
[scoffs]

1650
01:10:47.791 --> 01:10:51.082
You spend all this time
teaching me about confidence--

1651
01:10:51.083 --> 01:10:53.791
confidence that you
don't even have yourself!

1652
01:10:54.916 --> 01:10:57.708
Hiding from your own classmate, really?

1653
01:10:58.416 --> 01:11:01.915
I bet-- I bet you anything
that you're gonna use this

1654
01:11:01.916 --> 01:11:03.833
to not go to your own reunion.

1655
01:11:05.583 --> 01:11:07.540
You wanna bet 20-fucking-grand?

1656
01:11:07.541 --> 01:11:10.125
- [Abby scoffs]
- 'Cause I could really use that about now.

1657
01:11:10.875 --> 01:11:13.582
Good luck pretending you know
anything about sex tomorrow.

1658
01:11:13.583 --> 01:11:15.040
Oh, I'm gonna be just fine.

1659
01:11:15.041 --> 01:11:16.875
I'm a goddamn sex machine.

1660
01:11:20.125 --> 01:11:21.124
[door slams shut]

1661
01:11:21.125 --> 01:11:23.124
[♪ "Crocodile Tears"
by Zara Elizabeth Kershaw playing]

1662
01:11:23.125 --> 01:11:25.124
<i>♪ For the nights
with the words in my mouth ♪</i>

1663
01:11:25.125 --> 01:11:28.999
<i>♪ Something’s underwater,
moving into color ♪</i>

1664
01:11:29.000 --> 01:11:30.499
<i>♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪</i>

1665
01:11:30.500 --> 01:11:31.791
[cell phone chimes]

1666
01:11:32.625 --> 01:11:36.166
♪

1667
01:11:47.666 --> 01:11:48.666
[Abby] What?

1668
01:11:49.375 --> 01:11:50.374
No!

1669
01:11:50.375 --> 01:11:51.750
Ugh!

1670
01:11:53.083 --> 01:11:54.374
- [sighing]
- [thuds]

1671
01:11:54.375 --> 01:11:55.790
<i>♪ Oh... ♪</i>

1672
01:11:55.791 --> 01:11:58.583
Ow! Damn it!

1673
01:11:59.125 --> 01:12:03.040
<i>♪ Think that was the medicine
and I felt better ♪</i>

1674
01:12:03.041 --> 01:12:07.583
<i>♪ Oh, now you're floating
in my breakfast cereal... ♪</i>

1675
01:12:09.041 --> 01:12:10.749
<i>♪ So, hi ♪</i>

1676
01:12:10.750 --> 01:12:13.125
<i>♪ Hey, hello, yeah,
that was a nice try ♪</i>

1677
01:12:14.666 --> 01:12:17.457
<i>♪ Coming up slowly before you bite ♪</i>

1678
01:12:17.458 --> 01:12:19.374
<i>♪ And you know ♪</i>

1679
01:12:19.375 --> 01:12:23.916
<i>♪ I forgive and forget it
then you cry crocodile tears ♪</i>

1680
01:12:24.500 --> 01:12:26.833
<i>- ♪ Crocodile tears ♪</i>
- [text pings]

1681
01:12:27.208 --> 01:12:28.249
Yes!

1682
01:12:28.250 --> 01:12:31.957
<i>♪ Pull the blinds,
when we felt like a ghost ♪</i>

1683
01:12:31.958 --> 01:12:35.915
<i>♪ Back down to the bottom,
gravity gets heavy ♪</i>

1684
01:12:35.916 --> 01:12:40.790
<i>♪ Oh you, held too tight,
when I needed you most ♪</i>

1685
01:12:40.791 --> 01:12:44.791
<i>♪ There's something we hold,
there's something we carry ♪</i>

1686
01:12:45.416 --> 01:12:49.500
<i>♪ So hi, hey, hello,
yeah. that was a nice try ♪</i>

1687
01:12:51.625 --> 01:12:55.749
<i>♪ Been coming up slowly before you bite,
and you know ♪</i>

1688
01:12:55.750 --> 01:12:59.957
<i>♪ I forgive and forget it
then you cry crocodile tears ♪</i>

1689
01:12:59.958 --> 01:13:01.915
[people chattering]

1690
01:13:01.916 --> 01:13:04.165
[♪ "Party Song" by Alina Eremia
and Ilkan Gunuc playing]

1691
01:13:04.166 --> 01:13:06.790
<i>♪ Saturday night
getting lost in slow motion ♪</i>

1692
01:13:06.791 --> 01:13:08.124
<i>♪ Under the lights ♪</i>

1693
01:13:08.125 --> 01:13:10.415
<i>♪ Where we dance to let go ♪</i>

1694
01:13:10.416 --> 01:13:11.874
<i>♪ Have one of those nights ♪</i>

1695
01:13:11.875 --> 01:13:14.415
<i>♪ Where hearts don't get broken ♪</i>

1696
01:13:14.416 --> 01:13:15.874
<i>♪ Singing party songs ♪</i>

1697
01:13:15.875 --> 01:13:16.999
<i>♪ Don't know the words ♪</i>

1698
01:13:17.000 --> 01:13:18.374
<i>♪ But we sing a long like ♪</i>

1699
01:13:18.375 --> 01:13:20.290
<i>- ♪ La-da-di, la-da-da ♪</i>
- [people chattering, whooping]

1700
01:13:20.291 --> 01:13:21.874
<i>♪ La-da-di, la-da-da ♪</i>

1701
01:13:21.875 --> 01:13:23.749
<i>♪ La-da-di,
la-da-da ♪</i>

1702
01:13:23.750 --> 01:13:26.165
<i>♪ La-da-di, la-da-da ♪</i>

1703
01:13:26.166 --> 01:13:28.749
<i>♪ Free yourself tonight ♪</i>

1704
01:13:28.750 --> 01:13:30.124
[banging on piano keys]

1705
01:13:30.125 --> 01:13:31.457
<i>♪ Singing party songs ♪</i>

1706
01:13:31.458 --> 01:13:32.790
- [laughter]
<i>- ♪ Don't know the words ♪</i>

1707
01:13:32.791 --> 01:13:33.874
<i>♪ But we sing along ♪</i>

1708
01:13:33.875 --> 01:13:36.332
<i>♪ Free your self tonight ♪</i>

1709
01:13:36.333 --> 01:13:37.749
[cheering]

1710
01:13:37.750 --> 01:13:39.165
<i>♪ Singing party songs ♪</i>

1711
01:13:39.166 --> 01:13:41.291
<i>♪ Don't know the words but we sing along ♪</i>

1712
01:13:42.458 --> 01:13:44.457
[people chanting]
Go Bernie, go! Drink! Drink! Drink!

1713
01:13:44.458 --> 01:13:47.957
<i>♪ Where you wanna go tonight ♪</i>

1714
01:13:47.958 --> 01:13:50.458
<i>♪ Where the people never sleep ♪</i>

1715
01:13:51.000 --> 01:13:52.707
- [group cheering]
<i>- ♪ Saturday night ♪</i>

1716
01:13:52.708 --> 01:13:55.249
<i>♪ Getting lost in slow motion ♪</i>

1717
01:13:55.250 --> 01:13:56.582
<i>♪ Under the lights ♪</i>

1718
01:13:56.583 --> 01:13:58.124
<i>♪ Where we dance to let go ♪</i>

1719
01:13:58.125 --> 01:14:00.457
[people chanting]
Go Bernie! Go Bernie! Go Bernie!

1720
01:14:00.458 --> 01:14:02.957
<i>♪ Where hearts don't get broken ♪</i>

1721
01:14:02.958 --> 01:14:04.415
<i>♪ Singing party songs ♪</i>

1722
01:14:04.416 --> 01:14:06.457
<i>♪ Don't know the words
but we sing a long like ♪</i>

1723
01:14:06.458 --> 01:14:08.665
<i>- ♪ La-da-di, la-da-da ♪</i>
- [air horn blowing]

1724
01:14:08.666 --> 01:14:10.415
<i>♪ La-da-di,
la-da-da ♪</i>

1725
01:14:10.416 --> 01:14:12.207
<i>♪ La-da-di, la-da-da ♪</i>

1726
01:14:12.208 --> 01:14:14.083
<i>- ♪ La-da-di, la-da-da ♪</i>
- Hey!

1727
01:14:14.750 --> 01:14:15.749
<i>♪ Saturday night ♪</i>

1728
01:14:15.750 --> 01:14:18.416
<i>♪ Getting lost in slow motion ♪</i>

1729
01:14:19.416 --> 01:14:20.915
Uh, whiskey neat.

1730
01:14:20.916 --> 01:14:22.749
[people chattering]

1731
01:14:22.750 --> 01:14:24.874
[♪ slow pop music
playing softly over speakers]

1732
01:14:24.875 --> 01:14:27.082
Hey, Monica, you came.

1733
01:14:27.083 --> 01:14:28.333
Robin.

1734
01:14:29.583 --> 01:14:31.415
You look great.

1735
01:14:31.416 --> 01:14:32.666
Thank you.

1736
01:14:32.875 --> 01:14:33.957
As usual. [chuckles]

1737
01:14:33.958 --> 01:14:35.083
So do you.

1738
01:14:35.500 --> 01:14:37.582
Your hair is really long.

1739
01:14:37.583 --> 01:14:39.791
Oh, thanks, it's extensions.

1740
01:14:40.291 --> 01:14:43.290
Well, some of it's mine,
the rest is, like... horse.

1741
01:14:43.291 --> 01:14:45.540
[♪ slow pop music continues]

1742
01:14:45.541 --> 01:14:46.916
[sighs] Never mind.

1743
01:14:49.458 --> 01:14:53.041
Weren't you like vice president
of our class or some shit?

1744
01:14:53.666 --> 01:14:54.958
How dare you?

1745
01:14:56.083 --> 01:14:58.707
- I was president, obviously, God.
- Oh. Sorry.

1746
01:14:58.708 --> 01:15:00.791
- Sorry, Madam President.
- [chuckles] Thank you.

1747
01:15:03.750 --> 01:15:05.707
- [sighs] Oh, my God.
- What did you order?

1748
01:15:05.708 --> 01:15:07.291
Literally a whiskey.

1749
01:15:07.791 --> 01:15:09.957
The brown-- the brown one.

1750
01:15:09.958 --> 01:15:11.915
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have hired him.

1751
01:15:11.916 --> 01:15:13.832
He's my neighbor's son.
He's down on his luck.

1752
01:15:13.833 --> 01:15:15.208
I was trying to help him out.

1753
01:15:16.958 --> 01:15:19.040
- You know what's the saddest part?
- Hm?

1754
01:15:19.041 --> 01:15:21.291
He still wants to be an astronaut.

1755
01:15:22.166 --> 01:15:23.541
So, what do you do?

1756
01:15:24.541 --> 01:15:25.666
I'm...

1757
01:15:27.666 --> 01:15:29.791
I'm a stripper at Diamond Dolls.

1758
01:15:30.750 --> 01:15:31.875
Oh.

1759
01:15:32.875 --> 01:15:34.041
Huh.

1760
01:15:35.500 --> 01:15:37.165
I think I might actually head out,

1761
01:15:37.166 --> 01:15:38.582
but it was good to see you, Robin.

1762
01:15:38.583 --> 01:15:41.625
Wait, you--
you didn't ask me what I do.

1763
01:15:42.541 --> 01:15:43.791
Okay. What do you do?

1764
01:15:44.166 --> 01:15:45.166
I'm a realtor...

1765
01:15:46.750 --> 01:15:49.000
who hasn't sold a house
in three years, so...

1766
01:15:50.541 --> 01:15:53.249
I guess I plan high school reunions now,

1767
01:15:53.250 --> 01:15:54.749
which is super lame.

1768
01:15:54.750 --> 01:15:55.833
[chuckles]

1769
01:15:56.250 --> 01:15:58.958
Also, my husband's cheating on me,
so that's fun.

1770
01:16:00.583 --> 01:16:02.250
I'm sorry, I needed that.

1771
01:16:02.833 --> 01:16:04.165
- Two more.
- Great.

1772
01:16:04.166 --> 01:16:05.957
- Just-- I'll watch you while--
- And another glass.

1773
01:16:05.958 --> 01:16:08.125
Another. Yep.

1774
01:16:08.625 --> 01:16:09.624
That's what two is.

1775
01:16:09.625 --> 01:16:12.540
- [people whooping]
- Wait, so how'd he find out?

1776
01:16:12.541 --> 01:16:14.540
Well, I mean, he-- he knew
that something was up

1777
01:16:14.541 --> 01:16:16.915
when he found me measuring
the levels of the liquor bottle, so...

1778
01:16:16.916 --> 01:16:19.249
- Oh, no.
- Yeah.

1779
01:16:19.250 --> 01:16:21.958
[♪ pop music playing on speakers]

1780
01:16:23.041 --> 01:16:25.832
[loud indistinct chatter]

1781
01:16:25.833 --> 01:16:27.583
Uh, you look really pretty.

1782
01:16:28.500 --> 01:16:29.707
Thrifty?

1783
01:16:29.708 --> 01:16:30.915
[laughing] Yeah.

1784
01:16:30.916 --> 01:16:33.540
Yeah, you look like you-- really careful
with your spending habits.

1785
01:16:33.541 --> 01:16:35.040
[shouting]
It's really hard to hear you.

1786
01:16:35.041 --> 01:16:36.875
- Do you wanna go somewhere where we--
- Yeah.

1787
01:16:38.041 --> 01:16:39.790
Oh. Okay.

1788
01:16:39.791 --> 01:16:42.250
- [♪ pop music continues]
- [loud chatter continues]

1789
01:16:44.833 --> 01:16:47.290
It wasn't supposed to be like this.

1790
01:16:47.291 --> 01:16:49.458
At least in my head, it wasn't.
Like...

1791
01:16:50.041 --> 01:16:52.832
I was supposed to be better than you.

1792
01:16:52.833 --> 01:16:55.540
- [chuckles] No offense.
- Please.

1793
01:16:55.541 --> 01:16:58.082
I had this fantasy
that I was gonna show up here

1794
01:16:58.083 --> 01:17:00.665
and like, buy everybody a round of drinks.

1795
01:17:00.666 --> 01:17:03.499
Like-- like, people were gonna be
impressed by that or something.

1796
01:17:03.500 --> 01:17:06.124
Well, you should do it.
Dude, I'd be impressed.

1797
01:17:06.125 --> 01:17:08.332
I've only seen that, what,
in, like, the movies.

1798
01:17:08.333 --> 01:17:09.957
Well, it's an open bar, so...

1799
01:17:09.958 --> 01:17:11.750
And besides, he would take forever.

1800
01:17:12.250 --> 01:17:13.750
Well, he's got the moon on his brain.

1801
01:17:14.250 --> 01:17:15.500
That's true. [chuckles]

1802
01:17:16.583 --> 01:17:18.082
Anyway, it's not even really my money.

1803
01:17:18.083 --> 01:17:21.541
It's my stupid, cheating,
rich husband's money.

1804
01:17:22.291 --> 01:17:23.666
How do you know he's cheating?

1805
01:17:25.000 --> 01:17:27.958
He comes home late,
like almost every night.

1806
01:17:28.333 --> 01:17:29.499
And he smells like vanilla.

1807
01:17:29.500 --> 01:17:31.082
- Mm.
- And I fucking hate vanilla.

1808
01:17:31.083 --> 01:17:32.707
And then I ask him
and he says he was working.

1809
01:17:32.708 --> 01:17:34.790
Like, where are you working,
fucking Cinnabon?

1810
01:17:34.791 --> 01:17:35.915
[chuckles]

1811
01:17:35.916 --> 01:17:38.124
Anyway, all I'm saying is that none of us

1812
01:17:38.125 --> 01:17:40.000
are where we thought we would be.

1813
01:17:41.666 --> 01:17:43.832
Do you wanna know the weirdest part?

1814
01:17:43.833 --> 01:17:45.582
I'm a loser at my own reunion.

1815
01:17:45.583 --> 01:17:46.707
I'm not getting the club.

1816
01:17:46.708 --> 01:17:48.833
I'm, like, fucking broke.

1817
01:17:50.125 --> 01:17:53.124
[sighs] And the thing I can't
stop thinking about is Abby.

1818
01:17:53.125 --> 01:17:55.082
Well, that's because
you can still do something

1819
01:17:55.083 --> 01:17:56.416
about that situation.

1820
01:17:57.041 --> 01:17:58.207
Okay, what do you mean?

1821
01:17:58.208 --> 01:18:00.915
You told her that she was
not ready for sex?

1822
01:18:00.916 --> 01:18:04.457
Sixty-nine, actually.
Different.

1823
01:18:04.458 --> 01:18:07.790
It's not technically sex,
although it's... wet.

1824
01:18:07.791 --> 01:18:10.332
Look, every girl has the right

1825
01:18:10.333 --> 01:18:12.625
to choose for themselves
when they're ready.

1826
01:18:13.625 --> 01:18:14.749
It's their choice.

1827
01:18:14.750 --> 01:18:17.125
- [♪ dance music softly playing]
- [people chattering]

1828
01:18:18.333 --> 01:18:19.790
I messed up, huh?

1829
01:18:19.791 --> 01:18:21.499
You may not be able
to get everything right,

1830
01:18:21.500 --> 01:18:24.750
but you can tell a good friend
when you're wrong.

1831
01:18:25.875 --> 01:18:29.708
Wow. Robin, you're a genius.

1832
01:18:30.375 --> 01:18:33.082
I can't be that smart,
I married that fuckin' idiot.

1833
01:18:33.083 --> 01:18:34.624
Whoo!

1834
01:18:34.625 --> 01:18:37.166
[♪ dance music playing]

1835
01:18:40.833 --> 01:18:41.916
Bye. [kisses]

1836
01:18:42.416 --> 01:18:43.583
Bye.

1837
01:18:47.208 --> 01:18:49.207
[Max] Holy shit, what a setup.

1838
01:18:49.208 --> 01:18:51.082
Oh, yeah, it's nothing.

1839
01:18:51.083 --> 01:18:53.332
- [♪ distant pop music playing]
- [distant party chatter]

1840
01:18:53.333 --> 01:18:54.874
You play <i>Dead?</i>

1841
01:18:54.875 --> 01:18:56.124
It's like my favorite game.

1842
01:18:56.125 --> 01:18:58.000
Really? Me too.

1843
01:18:58.666 --> 01:18:59.957
Sick.

1844
01:18:59.958 --> 01:19:02.666
[♪ muffled pop music playing]

1845
01:19:08.541 --> 01:19:11.041
♪

1846
01:19:19.083 --> 01:19:21.291
♪

1847
01:19:27.291 --> 01:19:29.582
- So this is your room, huh?
- [Abby laughs]

1848
01:19:29.583 --> 01:19:31.165
Yep.

1849
01:19:31.166 --> 01:19:32.833
[laughing] Oh, geez.

1850
01:19:34.500 --> 01:19:36.582
God, these are so stupid.

1851
01:19:36.583 --> 01:19:38.958
♪

1852
01:19:52.583 --> 01:19:53.915
Wait. I can't do this.

1853
01:19:53.916 --> 01:19:55.583
Oh, okay, yeah.

1854
01:19:56.375 --> 01:19:58.500
Um, I'm-- I'm sorry, I can't.

1855
01:19:59.083 --> 01:20:00.083
[sighs]

1856
01:20:00.791 --> 01:20:02.458
I can't 69 you.

1857
01:20:03.000 --> 01:20:05.665
I'm sorry, I-- I want to, I do.

1858
01:20:05.666 --> 01:20:07.749
I just, I c-- I can't.

1859
01:20:07.750 --> 01:20:09.332
Sorry, did you say 69?

1860
01:20:09.333 --> 01:20:11.249
Yeah, I know
it's your favorite position.

1861
01:20:11.250 --> 01:20:13.999
I just, I... I'm not ready.

1862
01:20:14.000 --> 01:20:18.374
I am physically ready
because I studied so, so, so hard for it.

1863
01:20:18.375 --> 01:20:24.250
But I-- Oh, I'm just not
emotionally or mentally ready.

1864
01:20:24.666 --> 01:20:26.499
Abby... [stammering]
what are you talking about?

1865
01:20:26.500 --> 01:20:28.625
I've never 69'd before.

1866
01:20:29.958 --> 01:20:30.958
Huh?

1867
01:20:32.083 --> 01:20:34.250
But Bernie said you love to 69.

1868
01:20:35.458 --> 01:20:36.583
Bernie said?

1869
01:20:37.666 --> 01:20:39.041
The mascot.

1870
01:20:40.166 --> 01:20:41.166
Why would...

1871
01:20:42.541 --> 01:20:46.041
Oh, no. No, I love number 69.
Jared Allen.

1872
01:20:46.541 --> 01:20:48.082
He played for the Minnesota Vikings.

1873
01:20:48.083 --> 01:20:49.499
My dad went to Idaho State with him,

1874
01:20:49.500 --> 01:20:51.250
so we got to go to his house once.

1875
01:20:51.583 --> 01:20:53.790
It was actually really dope.
He has two pools. Why does--

1876
01:20:53.791 --> 01:20:56.125
Are you fucking kidding me?
I hired a stripper to...

1877
01:20:59.333 --> 01:21:00.625
Never mind.

1878
01:21:01.750 --> 01:21:04.499
Wait, but you've been with Mercedes
for like your whole life.

1879
01:21:04.500 --> 01:21:08.083
Yeah, Mercedes is like super into J-dawg.

1880
01:21:09.041 --> 01:21:10.041
Jesus.

1881
01:21:10.833 --> 01:21:12.875
She's saving herself for marriage.

1882
01:21:14.166 --> 01:21:16.707
[♪ dramatic opera music playing]

1883
01:21:16.708 --> 01:21:18.207
[Abby] <i>How could I have missed it?</i>

1884
01:21:18.208 --> 01:21:20.875
I'm Mercedes, I'm your girlfriend.

1885
01:21:22.791 --> 01:21:25.249
I guess... Abby.

1886
01:21:25.250 --> 01:21:27.707
[♪ dramatic opera music continues]

1887
01:21:27.708 --> 01:21:28.958
[sobbing]

1888
01:21:31.083 --> 01:21:34.499
[Abby] <i>Mercedes was a virgin,
which meant that Max...</i>

1889
01:21:34.500 --> 01:21:36.124
- [♪ music stops abruptly]
- You're a...

1890
01:21:36.125 --> 01:21:38.208
- [♪ muffled pop music playing]
- [muffled party chatter]

1891
01:21:39.666 --> 01:21:40.833
Me too.

1892
01:21:42.791 --> 01:21:44.332
- Really?
- [Abby chuckles]

1893
01:21:44.333 --> 01:21:45.833
You think I've had sex?

1894
01:21:47.000 --> 01:21:48.083
I don't know, I mean,

1895
01:21:48.666 --> 01:21:50.500
I didn't even know if you'd be into me.

1896
01:21:51.250 --> 01:21:52.250
[Abby scoffs]

1897
01:21:54.708 --> 01:21:56.915
[mouths] Oh, my God!

1898
01:21:56.916 --> 01:21:59.082
Wait, what were you saying
about hiring a stripper?

1899
01:21:59.083 --> 01:22:02.124
Oh, well, she's--
she's actually my friend.

1900
01:22:02.125 --> 01:22:04.332
Well, she <i>was</i> my friend.

1901
01:22:04.333 --> 01:22:05.750
What happened?

1902
01:22:06.750 --> 01:22:07.916
I screwed up.

1903
01:22:08.625 --> 01:22:12.500
I owe her big and I don't
really know how to repay her.

1904
01:22:12.750 --> 01:22:13.999
I'm sure you'll think of something.

1905
01:22:14.000 --> 01:22:15.665
No, I-- I don't know.

1906
01:22:15.666 --> 01:22:18.165
I don't know what I can do to fix this.

1907
01:22:18.166 --> 01:22:19.500
I lied to her.

1908
01:22:21.625 --> 01:22:23.250
I mean, I kinda lied to you.

1909
01:22:23.791 --> 01:22:26.040
[scoffs] What?
What do you mean?

1910
01:22:26.041 --> 01:22:27.916
I knew you played <i>Wild Wild Dead.</i>

1911
01:22:28.708 --> 01:22:30.041
I follow you on Glitch. [chuckles]

1912
01:22:31.375 --> 01:22:33.374
What? How--

1913
01:22:33.375 --> 01:22:35.790
Wait, how'd you know it was me?

1914
01:22:35.791 --> 01:22:38.207
Well, between your username Abby-Cadaver

1915
01:22:38.208 --> 01:22:42.290
and this beautiful head of curls
you have... [chuckles]

1916
01:22:42.291 --> 01:22:43.957
...it was pretty easy.

1917
01:22:43.958 --> 01:22:45.625
Wow.

1918
01:22:46.708 --> 01:22:50.540
Wow. Max Warren follows me on Glitch.

1919
01:22:50.541 --> 01:22:52.790
Max Guilford Warren sure does.

1920
01:22:52.791 --> 01:22:54.207
- Guilford?
- Guilford.

1921
01:22:54.208 --> 01:22:57.041
But you know, I guess
you could say that I'm a follower.

1922
01:22:59.000 --> 01:23:00.874
But like-- like, not in a way
it would be weird

1923
01:23:00.875 --> 01:23:03.415
if we, like, kissed or anything.

1924
01:23:03.416 --> 01:23:06.458
- [♪ soft pop music playing]
- [both chuckle]

1925
01:23:11.541 --> 01:23:13.208
- Oh, my God, that's it.
- What?

1926
01:23:13.875 --> 01:23:15.665
I'm so sorry, I have to go.

1927
01:23:15.666 --> 01:23:17.374
[kiss smacks] Thank you.

1928
01:23:17.375 --> 01:23:20.250
♪

1929
01:23:21.750 --> 01:23:23.916
[people chattering loudly]

1930
01:23:27.166 --> 01:23:28.499
[shouting] Listen up!

1931
01:23:28.500 --> 01:23:30.833
- [chatter stops]
- Who here is 18?

1932
01:23:31.750 --> 01:23:33.416
[air horn blows]

1933
01:23:34.875 --> 01:23:36.875
[people chattering]

1934
01:23:38.958 --> 01:23:40.041
Ugh.

1935
01:23:44.666 --> 01:23:46.499
Bro, I've never done LSD.

1936
01:23:46.500 --> 01:23:49.165
Yeah, you're sure this is good quality?

1937
01:23:49.166 --> 01:23:51.000
[Nurse Appleman] This shit is vintage.

1938
01:23:51.833 --> 01:23:53.750
Have a good trip, fellow travelers.

1939
01:23:55.708 --> 01:23:56.833
[Santa Monica] Hello?

1940
01:23:58.458 --> 01:23:59.458
Abby?

1941
01:24:00.250 --> 01:24:01.832
[student] I feel like
it's kicking in already.

1942
01:24:01.833 --> 01:24:03.082
Hey, Abby.

1943
01:24:03.083 --> 01:24:05.000
[Nurse Appleman]
Man, it doesn't work like that.

1944
01:24:07.083 --> 01:24:09.040
Hey, you're Max, right?

1945
01:24:09.041 --> 01:24:10.499
Oh, crap, you're a cop, aren't you?

1946
01:24:10.500 --> 01:24:13.165
What? Wait. Do I look like a cop?

1947
01:24:13.166 --> 01:24:15.749
Uh, yeah, I mean, you look
professional and crap, so...

1948
01:24:15.750 --> 01:24:17.749
Okay. [sighs]
Where's Abby?

1949
01:24:17.750 --> 01:24:20.790
She said she had to do something to
get her stripper friend back or something.

1950
01:24:20.791 --> 01:24:22.166
She took most of the party with her.

1951
01:24:22.916 --> 01:24:23.915
Why didn't you go?

1952
01:24:23.916 --> 01:24:25.499
Uh, she only took people who are 18.

1953
01:24:25.500 --> 01:24:26.791
I'm 17, ma'am.

1954
01:24:27.916 --> 01:24:29.415
- Okay, thanks.
- [Max] Yeah.

1955
01:24:29.416 --> 01:24:31.291
Wait, did you and her...

1956
01:24:31.750 --> 01:24:33.125
like... [mumbling]

1957
01:24:33.833 --> 01:24:35.040
Sixty-nine. Did you sixty-nine?

1958
01:24:35.041 --> 01:24:36.749
Oh, uh, no, no. No, ma'am.

1959
01:24:36.750 --> 01:24:38.707
Uh, we-- we didn't even kiss.

1960
01:24:38.708 --> 01:24:41.749
[sighs] Why? You're too good
for her, Abercrombie & bitch?

1961
01:24:41.750 --> 01:24:42.832
What's wrong with you?

1962
01:24:42.833 --> 01:24:46.665
She's like fuckin' pretty
and you're like Tanathee Chalamet.

1963
01:24:46.666 --> 01:24:50.374
Uh, ma'am, I promise you
I am very into her, s-so, yeah...

1964
01:24:50.375 --> 01:24:51.457
Good boy.

1965
01:24:51.458 --> 01:24:53.000
She also said she wasn't ready yet.

1966
01:24:54.500 --> 01:24:55.583
Good girl.

1967
01:24:56.291 --> 01:24:57.582
And you gotta stop calling me ma'am.

1968
01:24:57.583 --> 01:24:59.541
I, like, just got health insurance.

1969
01:25:00.083 --> 01:25:01.291
[Max] Oh. [clears throat]

1970
01:25:01.916 --> 01:25:02.958
[sighs]

1971
01:25:03.625 --> 01:25:08.082
[♪ exciting music playing]

1972
01:25:08.083 --> 01:25:11.749
I always knew how I wanted
my first sexual experience to play out.

1973
01:25:11.750 --> 01:25:12.915
[person clearing throat]

1974
01:25:12.916 --> 01:25:16.916
I'd be effortlessly cool, irresistible.

1975
01:25:18.333 --> 01:25:20.665
I'd have all the right moves.

1976
01:25:20.666 --> 01:25:23.540
And no matter
how or where it happened, it would be--

1977
01:25:23.541 --> 01:25:25.500
I'm so bored!

1978
01:25:25.958 --> 01:25:27.958
[engine revving]

1979
01:25:28.541 --> 01:25:31.250
[♪ exciting music playing]

1980
01:25:34.875 --> 01:25:36.832
- [♪ gentle, inspiring music playing]
- All this to say,

1981
01:25:36.833 --> 01:25:39.000
I screwed over my friends to get a guy.

1982
01:25:39.625 --> 01:25:41.207
A great, great guy.

1983
01:25:41.208 --> 01:25:45.041
But a guy,
who turns out already likes me.

1984
01:25:46.291 --> 01:25:49.874
The point is, I shouldn't
have lied to Santa Monica.

1985
01:25:49.875 --> 01:25:52.665
- Show us your boobs!
- Shut the fuck up, asshole.

1986
01:25:52.666 --> 01:25:54.665
[DJ Don] Yeah,
show us your dick, meathead.

1987
01:25:54.666 --> 01:25:56.082
How do you like it?

1988
01:25:56.083 --> 01:25:57.832
I'm a minor, so...

1989
01:25:57.833 --> 01:25:59.375
Then don't show us your dick.

1990
01:26:00.916 --> 01:26:02.540
Okay, everybody, I need your help.

1991
01:26:02.541 --> 01:26:03.958
I owe her a lot of money.

1992
01:26:04.791 --> 01:26:06.041
Twenty grand, actually.

1993
01:26:06.583 --> 01:26:08.916
Yeah, I know, it's a lot--
it's a lot of money.

1994
01:26:09.875 --> 01:26:11.665
And I just told you a lot about myself

1995
01:26:11.666 --> 01:26:16.125
and that was terrifying,
but also weirdly liberating.

1996
01:26:16.625 --> 01:26:20.250
Anyway, I want to make things right.

1997
01:26:21.333 --> 01:26:22.708
We're still live, right?

1998
01:26:23.208 --> 01:26:24.333
Oh, yeah.

1999
01:26:25.000 --> 01:26:29.707
Um, I would like to thank,
uh, Destiny, Angel, and Betty

2000
01:26:29.708 --> 01:26:31.832
- for helping me pull this off.
- [Betty] Aw.

2001
01:26:31.833 --> 01:26:33.457
- [Abby] I couldn't have done this...
- What?

2002
01:26:33.458 --> 01:26:34.915
- [Abby] ...without you, and...
- Nothing.

2003
01:26:34.916 --> 01:26:36.499
- I don't give a shit.
- Okay.

2004
01:26:36.500 --> 01:26:39.665
So, to all my subscribers online,

2005
01:26:39.666 --> 01:26:44.415
the class of 2025,
and all you Diamond Dolls regulars,

2006
01:26:44.416 --> 01:26:51.166
I invite you to open
your hearts and your wallets.

2007
01:26:52.875 --> 01:26:55.665
Ladies and gentlemen
and high school children,

2008
01:26:55.666 --> 01:26:57.999
please give a warm Diamond Dolls welcome

2009
01:26:58.000 --> 01:27:01.874
to a young lady who is
a diamond in her own right.

2010
01:27:01.875 --> 01:27:04.665
Someone who has blossomed
in the time that we've known her--

2011
01:27:04.666 --> 01:27:05.916
Don, wrap it up.

2012
01:27:06.416 --> 01:27:07.416
Welcome Abby Flores!

2013
01:27:08.333 --> 01:27:11.790
[cheering and whooping]

2014
01:27:11.791 --> 01:27:13.749
[♪ "Old Time Rock & Roll"
by Bob Seger playing]

2015
01:27:13.750 --> 01:27:15.208
[cheering grows louder]

2016
01:27:17.333 --> 01:27:20.708
<i>♪ Just take those old records
off the shelf ♪</i>

2017
01:27:21.333 --> 01:27:22.790
<i>♪ I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself ♪</i>

2018
01:27:22.791 --> 01:27:24.750
Oh my God, those legs!

2019
01:27:25.416 --> 01:27:29.207
<i>- ♪ Today's music ain't got the same soul ♪</i>
- [DJ Don] Come on, Abby!

2020
01:27:29.208 --> 01:27:32.375
<i>♪ I like that old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>

2021
01:27:32.916 --> 01:27:35.958
<i>♪ Don't try to take me to a disco ♪</i>

2022
01:27:36.791 --> 01:27:40.041
<i>♪ You'll never even
get me out on the floor ♪</i>

2023
01:27:41.041 --> 01:27:43.875
<i>♪ In ten minutes
I'll be late for the door ♪</i>

2024
01:27:44.583 --> 01:27:46.249
<i>♪ I like that old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>

2025
01:27:46.250 --> 01:27:47.624
- Oh, no.
- Oh, she's stuck. She's stuck.

2026
01:27:47.625 --> 01:27:49.124
She looks like a rotisserie chicken.

2027
01:27:49.125 --> 01:27:51.457
<i>♪ That old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>

2028
01:27:51.458 --> 01:27:52.832
- [metal clangs]
- [crowd] Oh!

2029
01:27:52.833 --> 01:27:55.666
<i>♪ That kind of music
just soothes the soul ♪</i>

2030
01:27:56.083 --> 01:27:59.124
<i>♪ I reminisce about the days of old ♪</i>

2031
01:27:59.125 --> 01:28:00.415
Get the fuck outta my way.

2032
01:28:00.416 --> 01:28:03.374
<i>♪ With that old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>

2033
01:28:03.375 --> 01:28:06.750
<i>♪ Oh! Still like that
old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>

2034
01:28:07.333 --> 01:28:08.499
[microphone squeals]

2035
01:28:08.500 --> 01:28:10.750
<i>♪ That kind of music
just soothes the soul ♪</i>

2036
01:28:11.416 --> 01:28:14.916
<i>♪ I reminisce about the days of old ♪</i>

2037
01:28:15.416 --> 01:28:18.250
- Is she shooting her own titties?
<i>- ♪ With that old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>

2038
01:28:18.958 --> 01:28:20.125
♪

2039
01:28:20.833 --> 01:28:23.290
Yeah, girl! Dance, you freak!

2040
01:28:23.291 --> 01:28:25.749
[crowd cheering]

2041
01:28:25.750 --> 01:28:29.083
♪

2042
01:28:31.375 --> 01:28:35.249
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

2043
01:28:35.250 --> 01:28:38.415
<i>♪ Still like that old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>

2044
01:28:38.416 --> 01:28:41.665
<i>♪ That kind of music
just soothes the soul ♪</i>

2045
01:28:41.666 --> 01:28:45.125
- [crowd cheering]
<i>- ♪ I reminisce about the days of old ♪</i>

2046
01:28:46.083 --> 01:28:48.082
<i>♪ With that old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>

2047
01:28:48.083 --> 01:28:49.832
That's bad dancing.

2048
01:28:49.833 --> 01:28:53.125
<i>♪ Still like that old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>

2049
01:28:53.791 --> 01:28:56.457
<i>♪ That kind of music
just soothes the soul ♪</i>

2050
01:28:56.458 --> 01:28:58.374
- You weird little freak!
- Get 'em!

2051
01:28:58.375 --> 01:29:00.833
<i>♪ I reminisce about the days of old ♪</i>

2052
01:29:01.625 --> 01:29:05.290
<i>- ♪ With that old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>
- [crowd cheering]

2053
01:29:05.291 --> 01:29:08.833
<i>♪ Still like that old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>

2054
01:29:09.458 --> 01:29:11.040
<i>- ♪ That kind of music ♪</i>
- She won the night!

2055
01:29:11.041 --> 01:29:13.082
<i>- ♪ Just soothes the soul ♪
-</i> That's my girl!

2056
01:29:13.083 --> 01:29:16.458
<i>♪ I reminisce about the days of old ♪</i>

2057
01:29:17.333 --> 01:29:19.666
<i>- ♪ With that old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>
- Whoo!

2058
01:29:20.875 --> 01:29:24.083
<i>♪ Still like that old time rock 'n' roll ♪</i>

2059
01:29:25.750 --> 01:29:27.125
That's my girl.

2060
01:29:28.000 --> 01:29:29.290
I think I'm mad at her.

2061
01:29:29.291 --> 01:29:31.082
[♪ song fades out]

2062
01:29:31.083 --> 01:29:32.166
Sorry.

2063
01:29:33.250 --> 01:29:34.958
[people chattering]

2064
01:29:36.791 --> 01:29:38.540
Samuel Moros.

2065
01:29:38.541 --> 01:29:40.583
It's nice to meet you, Samuel.

2066
01:29:42.500 --> 01:29:45.207
- [Samuel Moros] Let me help you. [laughs]
- [Abby] Please do.

2067
01:29:45.208 --> 01:29:47.624
What a sweet kid to do that for ya.

2068
01:29:47.625 --> 01:29:50.457
Yeah, she's pretty great.

2069
01:29:50.458 --> 01:29:52.874
Just between us, if she wants
a summer job, shut it down.

2070
01:29:52.875 --> 01:29:55.082
Yeah, she can't dance for shit.

2071
01:29:55.083 --> 01:29:59.207
[scoffs] <i>Oui, oui.</i>
That's French for "I agree."

2072
01:29:59.208 --> 01:30:01.374
She was atrocious.

2073
01:30:01.375 --> 01:30:04.166
Oh look, an uncircumcised Dick.

2074
01:30:04.708 --> 01:30:05.833
It's Rick!

2075
01:30:07.708 --> 01:30:09.790
And judging by
that sad excuse of a talent show,

2076
01:30:09.791 --> 01:30:13.624
I'm guessing that you don't have the cash.

2077
01:30:13.625 --> 01:30:16.500
Well, don't worry, I am a good boss.

2078
01:30:17.583 --> 01:30:19.999
I really like to...

2079
01:30:20.000 --> 01:30:21.457
[smacking]
...take care of my girls.

2080
01:30:21.458 --> 01:30:22.541
[Rick chuckling]

2081
01:30:23.375 --> 01:30:25.790
- [patron] Oh, damn.
- So do I.

2082
01:30:25.791 --> 01:30:27.999
You're gonna regret that,
you stupid bitch.

2083
01:30:28.000 --> 01:30:32.833
The second I sign this paperwork,
I'm gonna throw you out on your ass.

2084
01:30:33.208 --> 01:30:34.957
[Santa Monica] If we raised the 20 grand,

2085
01:30:34.958 --> 01:30:37.875
you're never stepping foot
in this club again.

2086
01:30:39.333 --> 01:30:40.333
Alright, Abby, where are we at?

2087
01:30:40.916 --> 01:30:42.124
Samuel?

2088
01:30:42.125 --> 01:30:45.915
In-person donations, $3,187.

2089
01:30:45.916 --> 01:30:48.458
[crowd cheering]

2090
01:30:49.958 --> 01:30:51.707
Oh, and what's the number on Glitch?

2091
01:30:51.708 --> 01:30:54.582
Six thousand, seven hundred and twelve.

2092
01:30:54.583 --> 01:30:55.665
- Dude.
- Yes!

2093
01:30:55.666 --> 01:30:57.291
[cheering continues]

2094
01:30:58.000 --> 01:31:00.290
- [all exclaiming]
- Yes! Yes!

2095
01:31:00.291 --> 01:31:02.790
Oh, and, uh, 3,000 yen.

2096
01:31:02.791 --> 01:31:03.874
Oh!

2097
01:31:03.875 --> 01:31:05.374
[cheering and applause]

2098
01:31:05.375 --> 01:31:08.207
- Wait. No, no. That's like 20 bucks.
- Oh.

2099
01:31:08.208 --> 01:31:10.290
- [crowd] Ohh.
- [Samuel] Yeah.

2100
01:31:10.291 --> 01:31:12.999
Oh, wait, what about that
$5,000 deposit you gave Betty?

2101
01:31:13.000 --> 01:31:14.374
Oh, yeah.

2102
01:31:14.375 --> 01:31:16.082
[crowd cheering]

2103
01:31:16.083 --> 01:31:18.375
Oh, and how much did
we raise at the door?

2104
01:31:19.458 --> 01:31:21.915
I have a fear of public speaking.

2105
01:31:21.916 --> 01:31:22.999
- Come on, Dave.
Dave.

2106
01:31:23.000 --> 01:31:24.124
- Dave!
- Dave!

2107
01:31:24.125 --> 01:31:25.540
Around 800 at the door.

2108
01:31:25.541 --> 01:31:28.082
- [people clapping]
- [Betty] That's pretty good.

2109
01:31:28.083 --> 01:31:30.290
So, how much is that then?

2110
01:31:30.291 --> 01:31:33.749
Siri, find calculator app.

2111
01:31:33.750 --> 01:31:36.415
[people murmuring]

2112
01:31:36.416 --> 01:31:39.583
Anybody know
what the first one she said was?

2113
01:31:40.291 --> 01:31:41.707
It's not enough.

2114
01:31:41.708 --> 01:31:44.082
If you carry-- if you car--
if you carry the four...

2115
01:31:44.083 --> 01:31:45.332
Not enough.

2116
01:31:45.333 --> 01:31:46.915
[Angel] Shut up.
If you carry the four...

2117
01:31:46.916 --> 01:31:48.290
Still counting? It's not enough.

2118
01:31:48.291 --> 01:31:49.624
[murmuring continues]

2119
01:31:49.625 --> 01:31:52.125
[laughing] They did it!

2120
01:31:53.500 --> 01:31:55.540
Twenty thousand dollars!

2121
01:31:55.541 --> 01:31:56.665
- [crowd cheering]
- Yes!

2122
01:31:56.666 --> 01:31:58.457
[♪ upbeat music playing]

2123
01:31:58.458 --> 01:31:59.999
What?

2124
01:32:00.000 --> 01:32:02.832
- [cheering continues]
- Really?

2125
01:32:02.833 --> 01:32:05.082
- What? Yes!
- What? What?

2126
01:32:05.083 --> 01:32:07.374
- Wait, wait.
- [♪ music stops]

2127
01:32:07.375 --> 01:32:09.332
No, they're 4,300 short.

2128
01:32:09.333 --> 01:32:11.082
- [patron] Oh, man.
- [crowd] Aw!

2129
01:32:11.083 --> 01:32:12.540
For fuck's sake.

2130
01:32:12.541 --> 01:32:13.832
[DJ Don] What the fuck, Gary?

2131
01:32:13.833 --> 01:32:14.916
[crowd chattering]

2132
01:32:15.833 --> 01:32:17.708
- [Rick laughing]
- Don't worry, Abby.

2133
01:32:18.583 --> 01:32:19.582
It's okay.

2134
01:32:19.583 --> 01:32:24.166
Well, Betty, let's go sign
the paperwork in my new office.

2135
01:32:25.083 --> 01:32:27.541
Ladies. <i>Arigatou.</i>

2136
01:32:31.541 --> 01:32:33.208
Girls, I'm so sorry.

2137
01:32:34.541 --> 01:32:37.291
- I wish I could do somethin'. [whimpers]
- [Rick] Chop, chop, Spaghetti.

2138
01:32:39.333 --> 01:32:40.332
[sighs]

2139
01:32:40.333 --> 01:32:42.083
- [speaker] Maybe I can help.
- Oh.

2140
01:32:43.125 --> 01:32:44.416
Oh, where did it come from?

2141
01:32:46.333 --> 01:32:47.957
Robin, what are you doing here?

2142
01:32:47.958 --> 01:32:52.332
Well, apparently my husband
frequents this place.

2143
01:32:52.333 --> 01:32:53.875
Isn't that right?

2144
01:32:55.416 --> 01:32:57.457
So, I thought he could invest in a place

2145
01:32:57.458 --> 01:32:59.249
he cares about so much, don't you think?

2146
01:32:59.250 --> 01:33:02.665
And if it helps a friend out of a bind

2147
01:33:02.666 --> 01:33:04.916
while spending some of his money,
then it's a win-win.

2148
01:33:05.833 --> 01:33:08.249
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, he sucks.

2149
01:33:08.250 --> 01:33:11.291
Plus, don't question
a presidential decision.

2150
01:33:12.625 --> 01:33:13.874
- [Robin chuckles]
- We got it!

2151
01:33:13.875 --> 01:33:15.124
[crowd cheering]

2152
01:33:15.125 --> 01:33:17.290
- [whooping]
- [♪ upbeat music playing]

2153
01:33:17.291 --> 01:33:19.415
No, stop! Stop! Shut up!

2154
01:33:19.416 --> 01:33:20.915
- Shut the hell up!
- [♪ music stops]

2155
01:33:20.916 --> 01:33:22.000
I'm done with this!

2156
01:33:23.125 --> 01:33:26.540
Okay, I am done with
Magic Mike's awkward niece.

2157
01:33:26.541 --> 01:33:27.750
You're a terrible dancer!

2158
01:33:28.833 --> 01:33:30.790
I'm done with the Witches of Eastwick.

2159
01:33:30.791 --> 01:33:33.624
I'm done with... whoever the hell you are.

2160
01:33:33.625 --> 01:33:36.290
- I'm Robin.
- [Rick] [mockingly] You're Robin?

2161
01:33:36.291 --> 01:33:38.124
- Yeah.
- Alright, it's over!

2162
01:33:38.125 --> 01:33:39.582
The club is mine!

2163
01:33:39.583 --> 01:33:44.290
Betty, it is time to hand
the club over to me, right now!

2164
01:33:44.291 --> 01:33:46.832
You decaying excuse of a dancer.

2165
01:33:46.833 --> 01:33:49.666
Don't you ever...

2166
01:33:50.375 --> 01:33:52.791
ever call me a dancer!

2167
01:33:53.250 --> 01:33:58.124
I am Betty Spaghetti,
and I'm a goddamned stripper.

2168
01:33:58.125 --> 01:33:59.624
- [fist thumps]
- [crowd] Ohh!

2169
01:33:59.625 --> 01:34:01.332
Spaghetti!
- Ooh!

2170
01:34:01.333 --> 01:34:02.625
- [cheering and applause]
- Yes!

2171
01:34:05.583 --> 01:34:06.583
Yes!

2172
01:34:09.166 --> 01:34:11.332
Should I have the bouncer
throw him out on his ass?

2173
01:34:11.333 --> 01:34:12.416
Your call, boss.

2174
01:34:13.416 --> 01:34:15.125
[in unison] Boss lady.

2175
01:34:16.708 --> 01:34:19.165
- Let's go, numb nuts.
- [crowd] Oh!

2176
01:34:19.166 --> 01:34:20.540
[♪ upbeat music playing]

2177
01:34:20.541 --> 01:34:23.290
Hey! Watch the suit, <i>danke schoen!</i>

2178
01:34:23.291 --> 01:34:24.375
[Santa Monica] Hey, Rick.

2179
01:34:25.000 --> 01:34:27.499
That's sign language for fuck you.

2180
01:34:27.500 --> 01:34:29.415
- Yeah!
- [cheering and applause]

2181
01:34:29.416 --> 01:34:32.040
Oh, hey, hey! Next round's on me!

2182
01:34:32.041 --> 01:34:34.291
[crowd cheering]

2183
01:34:35.708 --> 01:34:37.540
If you're over 21.

2184
01:34:37.541 --> 01:34:38.624
[students] Oh.

2185
01:34:38.625 --> 01:34:41.290
[amplified] Bu-bu-bu-bummer.

2186
01:34:41.291 --> 01:34:43.790
- That works out in my favor.
- 'Kay, just you guys, then.

2187
01:34:43.791 --> 01:34:45.916
[Betty] More for us. More for us.

2188
01:34:46.666 --> 01:34:48.874
- [Santa Monica] I'm sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.

2189
01:34:48.875 --> 01:34:50.500
No, I'm sorry, Abs. I...

2190
01:34:51.625 --> 01:34:53.415
I shouldn't have said you weren't ready.

2191
01:34:53.416 --> 01:34:56.250
Thanks, but you're right, I'm not.

2192
01:34:57.583 --> 01:35:00.540
I'm sorry I didn't tell you
the truth about the money.

2193
01:35:00.541 --> 01:35:02.124
Come on, you're a teenager,

2194
01:35:02.125 --> 01:35:04.041
and you're supposed to do stupid shit.

2195
01:35:04.916 --> 01:35:07.208
- I guess.
- And speaking of,

2196
01:35:08.125 --> 01:35:09.374
how far did you get with Max?

2197
01:35:09.375 --> 01:35:11.415
Yeah, I think he likes me.

2198
01:35:11.416 --> 01:35:12.540
Well, he better.

2199
01:35:12.541 --> 01:35:14.916
But, uh, we kinda got interrupted
before anything monumental.

2200
01:35:15.666 --> 01:35:19.874
You, my dear, deserve monumental.

2201
01:35:19.875 --> 01:35:21.999
<i>♪ We will find you ♪</i>

2202
01:35:22.000 --> 01:35:26.249
<i>♪ Acting on your best behavior ♪</i>

2203
01:35:26.250 --> 01:35:31.083
Well, I have a shitload
of paperwork to do, thanks to you.

2204
01:35:32.375 --> 01:35:33.665
Have fun, Abby.

2205
01:35:33.666 --> 01:35:35.958
<i>♪ Everybody wants to rule the world ♪</i>

2206
01:35:43.333 --> 01:35:46.083
So, word on the street
is you got some killer moves there.

2207
01:35:46.958 --> 01:35:50.832
I do. I'm so glad
you didn't see any of it.

2208
01:35:50.833 --> 01:35:53.165
[Max] Oh. I guess I'll just have
to use my imagination.

2209
01:35:53.166 --> 01:35:54.750
Mm-hmm.

2210
01:35:55.625 --> 01:35:59.166
Oh, no. No, no. How?

2211
01:35:59.750 --> 01:36:01.374
Like I said, I'm a follower.

2212
01:36:01.375 --> 01:36:04.915
- God. [chuckles]
<i>- ♪ Most of freedom and of pleasure ♪</i>

2213
01:36:04.916 --> 01:36:08.332
<i>♪ Nothing ever lasts forever ♪</i>

2214
01:36:08.333 --> 01:36:10.124
I'm gonna kiss you, Cherry Worms.

2215
01:36:10.125 --> 01:36:13.207
<i>♪ Everybody wants to rule the world ♪</i>

2216
01:36:13.208 --> 01:36:14.332
'Kay.

2217
01:36:14.333 --> 01:36:18.290
<i>♪ There's a room
where the light won't find you ♪</i>

2218
01:36:18.291 --> 01:36:20.332
<i>- ♪ Holding hands while-- ♪</i>
- [Max] Ow.

2219
01:36:20.333 --> 01:36:21.415
Did you just pinch my leg?

2220
01:36:21.416 --> 01:36:23.000
Sorry, I thought it was mine.

2221
01:36:23.416 --> 01:36:25.375
Yeah, no, that's--
[laughing] That's fine.

2222
01:36:26.791 --> 01:36:30.999
<i>♪ So glad we've almost made it ♪</i>

2223
01:36:31.000 --> 01:36:34.957
<i>♪ So sad they had to fade it ♪</i>

2224
01:36:34.958 --> 01:36:40.957
<i>♪ Everybody wants to rule the world ♪</i>

2225
01:36:40.958 --> 01:36:43.499
♪

2226
01:36:43.500 --> 01:36:47.249
Then, add the, uh, uh, 3800,

2227
01:36:47.250 --> 01:36:50.750
plus, uh, the 6200,

2228
01:36:51.333 --> 01:36:54.333
and that equals $20,000.

2229
01:36:55.791 --> 01:36:56.915
[Abby] Bye.

2230
01:36:56.916 --> 01:36:58.041
[guests] Bye.

2231
01:36:58.791 --> 01:37:00.374
[Abby] You guys drive home safe, okay?

2232
01:37:00.375 --> 01:37:01.457
- 'Kay.
- [Abby] 'Kay. Bye.

2233
01:37:01.458 --> 01:37:02.624
[Santa Monica] Okay, responsible.

2234
01:37:02.625 --> 01:37:03.791
- [Abby] Yeah.
- [both laughing]

2235
01:37:04.750 --> 01:37:06.540
Thanks for getting me my first kiss.

2236
01:37:06.541 --> 01:37:08.416
- Thanks for saving the club.
- Yeah.

2237
01:37:09.041 --> 01:37:12.332
Hey, we hooked each other up
with exactly what we desired.

2238
01:37:12.333 --> 01:37:13.540
Yeah.

2239
01:37:13.541 --> 01:37:15.915
So, in a non-sexual way,

2240
01:37:15.916 --> 01:37:18.082
we kind of metaphorically 69'd.

2241
01:37:18.083 --> 01:37:19.915
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

2242
01:37:19.916 --> 01:37:22.250
Honestly, best 69 I've ever had.

2243
01:37:22.875 --> 01:37:24.374
- Really?
- No.

2244
01:37:24.375 --> 01:37:27.207
Real thing's actually really hot.
Or is it?

2245
01:37:27.208 --> 01:37:29.582
I don't know,
there's a lot of stuff in your face.

2246
01:37:29.583 --> 01:37:31.249
[yelling] What in the hell?!

2247
01:37:31.250 --> 01:37:33.415
- [♪ music stops playing]
- Oh, shit.

2248
01:37:33.416 --> 01:37:36.083
- I'm assuming those are your parents.
- [Margaret] [gasping] Oh!

2249
01:37:36.583 --> 01:37:37.750
Who are you?!

2250
01:37:38.708 --> 01:37:40.040
S-- Santa Monica, ma'am.

2251
01:37:40.041 --> 01:37:42.208
Hey, Mrs. Flores!

2252
01:37:42.708 --> 01:37:43.750
Lily Rose?

2253
01:37:44.916 --> 01:37:46.040
[gags and retches]

2254
01:37:46.041 --> 01:37:47.290
[both] Ohh!

2255
01:37:47.291 --> 01:37:49.125
Oh, dear God.

2256
01:37:49.833 --> 01:37:51.332
[laughing]

2257
01:37:51.333 --> 01:37:52.625
You just puked.

2258
01:37:54.041 --> 01:37:55.832
[Ron] What have you done, Abigail?

2259
01:37:55.833 --> 01:37:58.083
What do you have to say for yourself?!

2260
01:37:59.541 --> 01:38:01.541
[birds chirping]

2261
01:38:02.875 --> 01:38:04.125
I made a friend.

2262
01:38:05.250 --> 01:38:07.416
[♪ "Seaside" by Pop Noir playing]

2263
01:38:20.333 --> 01:38:26.333
<i>♪ I look out on horizons ♪</i>

2264
01:38:27.708 --> 01:38:32.541
<i>♪ Always outward from the beach ♪</i>

2265
01:38:35.083 --> 01:38:41.083
<i>♪ And you bury me
in mounds of sand ♪</i>

2266
01:38:42.416 --> 01:38:48.125
<i>♪ Well does the moon
rise in the East ♪</i>

2267
01:38:50.375 --> 01:38:53.707
<i>♪ So, take it quiet
and take it quick ♪</i>

2268
01:38:53.708 --> 01:38:57.915
<i>♪ Or just hide
amongst the sheets ♪</i>

2269
01:38:57.916 --> 01:39:01.207
<i>♪ You make me nervous,
I must admit ♪</i>

2270
01:39:01.208 --> 01:39:04.916
<i>♪ That emotion is just
beyond our reach ♪</i>

2271
01:39:05.875 --> 01:39:10.875
<i>♪ I visit the seaside ♪</i>

2272
01:39:12.916 --> 01:39:17.332
<i>♪ I'm standing on the beach ♪</i>

2273
01:39:17.333 --> 01:39:20.332
<i>♪ The beach, the beach, the beach ♪</i>

2274
01:39:20.333 --> 01:39:26.041
<i>♪ I'm coasting
in the shallows ♪</i>

2275
01:39:28.000 --> 01:39:33.416
<i>♪ I sing
when things get deep ♪</i>

2276
01:39:35.708 --> 01:39:39.124
<i>♪ So, take it quiet
and take it quick ♪</i>

2277
01:39:39.125 --> 01:39:42.208
<i>♪ Or just hide
amongst the sheets ♪</i>

2278
01:39:43.416 --> 01:39:46.624
<i>♪ You make me nervous,
I must admit ♪</i>

2279
01:39:46.625 --> 01:39:50.333
<i>♪ That emotion is just
beyond our reach ♪</i>

2280
01:39:58.708 --> 01:40:02.332
<i>♪ Undertow ♪</i>

2281
01:40:02.333 --> 01:40:05.750
<i>♪ Pulls me down
and drags me deeper ♪</i>

2282
01:40:06.291 --> 01:40:09.291
<i>♪ I don't know ♪</i>

2283
01:40:09.833 --> 01:40:13.582
<i>♪ Is drownin' hard
or is it peaceful? ♪</i>

2284
01:40:13.583 --> 01:40:16.874
<i>♪ So, take it quiet
and take it quick ♪</i>

2285
01:40:16.875 --> 01:40:20.166
<i>♪ Or just hide
amongst the sheets ♪</i>

2286
01:40:21.208 --> 01:40:24.457
<i>♪ You make me nervous,
I must admit ♪</i>

2287
01:40:24.458 --> 01:40:28.707
<i>♪ That emotion is just
beyond our reach ♪</i>

2288
01:40:28.708 --> 01:40:32.374
<i>♪ No, I can't stand it,
I can't stand it ♪</i>

2289
01:40:32.375 --> 01:40:35.458
<i>♪ Just hide amongst
the sheets ♪</i>

2290
01:40:36.291 --> 01:40:39.499
<i>♪ You make me nervous,
I must admit ♪</i>

2291
01:40:39.500 --> 01:40:41.624
<i>♪ That I'll never really know why ♪</i>

2292
01:40:41.625 --> 01:40:44.791
<i>♪ I had to move so slow
you're out of reach ♪</i>

2293
01:41:35.166 --> 01:41:37.375
[♪ song fades out]