1
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:51,749
In New York City, there's a fine
line between law and chaos.
2
00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:54,615
On that line live
Danson and Highsmith.
3
00:00:57,857 --> 00:01:00,348
Tell me again
why I decided to get on this roof!
4
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:04,730
I think you can chalk that up
to bad life choices.
5
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,040
Get rid of that asshole.
6
00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:24,083
- Uh-oh!
- I hate it when you say "uh-oh!"
7
00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:36,561
Dude, you put a ding in my hood!
8
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,658
Come on with it, then!
9
00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,070
Whoa, hey!
10
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,280
That's trouble.
11
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:15,423
Did someone call Nine-One-holy-shit?
12
00:02:25,778 --> 00:02:27,678
That's it. I'm sick of all this running.
13
00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:36,680
Hang on!
14
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:53,072
You have the right to remain silent!
15
00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:56,200
But I wanna hear you scream!
16
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:12,783
Down on the ground!
17
00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:15,287
Detective! Yeah, yeah! Detective!
18
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:18,021
One at a time, all right?
19
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:22,391
Yeah, Detectives, Rick Grayson,
New York Observer Online.
20
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,436
These suspects were caught
with only a quarter pound of marijuana,
21
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:26,937
a misdemeanor in some states.
22
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,271
Do you think this arrest was worth
$12 million in property damages?
23
00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:33,707
Why don't we let New York City
answer that question?
24
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,271
The greatest city on Earth, yeah!
25
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:42,819
Hi, Sarah Gapone from TMZ print edition.
26
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:46,483
Danson, are the rumors about
you and Kim Kardashian true?
27
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,151
No comment.
28
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:49,993
But, yes.
29
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:55,056
Danson and Highsmith,
free hot dogs for life!
30
00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:02,668
No drinks. No drinks.
I can't do it. I can't do it.
31
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:08,470
Danson and Highsmith shoot, drive,
and sex with style. They're rock stars.
32
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:11,573
Then you got your jokers,
your ball busters, your vets...
33
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:14,585
...and the other guys.
34
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,516
We know, we know. We know.
35
00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:22,788
All right, all right, all right.
Listen up, listen up!
36
00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:26,423
We're having a celebration tonight at Butter.
37
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:29,093
Brody Jenner's gonna be there. Bai Ling.
38
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:31,966
- That little short bitch from Jersey Shore.
- Yeah!
39
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:35,132
And most of you are on the list.
40
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,142
You're the best.
41
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,178
Guys, I'm gonna say something right now.
42
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,645
It's about a man who came from Austria
with a dream.
43
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:44,547
- Arnold Schwarzenegger!
- Let me finish.
44
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,017
He became a champion
and then a movie star, all right?
45
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,281
- Arnold Schwarzenegger!
- God damn it, let me...
46
00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:51,289
They ruined the story.
They ruined the story.
47
00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:52,984
Let... What... The point is,
48
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:56,153
we couldn't do our job if it weren't
for you guys doing all the paperwork,
49
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:58,527
answering the phones, and all that
stupid shit that we don't like to do.
50
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,622
All the gun fights, all the car chases,
51
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:04,568
all the sex we don't wanna have with women,
but we have to,
52
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:08,334
all due to what you guys do. Thank you.
53
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:09,670
And we'd do it again and again.
54
00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:12,040
Hey, you shut your face!
55
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,339
If we wanna hear you talk,
56
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:16,314
I will shove my arm up your ass
and work your mouth like a puppet!
57
00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,074
You hear me? You hear me?
58
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,551
- Cash bar.
- Yeah.
59
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,484
Peace out, bitches.
60
00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:26,825
Hey, fellas. All right, bring it in.
61
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,383
Come on. Bring it in a little bit.
62
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,652
All right, right there.
63
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,698
Just back up, just like right there.
64
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,392
All right, just one... Just a...
65
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,230
There you go, right there. Right there.
66
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,896
This is their paperwork.
You know they're not gonna do it.
67
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:43,203
That's right.
This paperwork is like Bob's wife here.
68
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,939
It's thick, ugly,
got Danson's fingerprints all over it.
69
00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:48,445
- No offense, Bob.
- That's all right.
70
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,675
- Anyway, now who wants it?
- I do!
71
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:53,412
All right!
Paper Bitch and Yankee Clipper on the case!
72
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,586
- Nice work. Thanks, Allen.
- Thank you, Captain.
73
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:56,950
"I'll do it! I'll do it!"
74
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,126
Stop humming that song!
75
00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:12,961
- I can hum if I want to.
- No, I know you can.
76
00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:14,300
I'm asking you to stop.
77
00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:16,632
- Well, if you're asking, then I'll stop.
- Thank you.
78
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:23,740
Could you not smile like that?
79
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:27,650
Now you're asking me to mask my emotions
because of how it makes you feel.
80
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:29,551
That I will not do.
81
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,226
Seriously, stop humming! Okay?
82
00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:38,320
This isn't accounting or wherever the hell
83
00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:41,764
you and your little pocket calculator
were transferred from.
84
00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:44,803
Forensic accounting, okay.
And it's an important part of the job.
85
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:48,965
Yeah, whatever. Stop being so overtly happy
about doing shit work, you moron.
86
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,940
Hey, guys. Reminder.
87
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:54,241
The police union picnic's
coming up this weekend.
88
00:06:54,313 --> 00:06:58,943
My wife's making her famous
deviled eggs, again. My waistline's furious.
89
00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:00,417
It's a bad time, Bob!
90
00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:03,515
All right.
91
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,182
Going to get a slice.
92
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:18,633
You know what I just did?
93
00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:21,002
I just walked out that door,
saw a couple detectives,
94
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,598
and I was about to start bad mouthing you
behind your back,
95
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:25,871
but I stopped myself,
because my pops taught me
96
00:07:25,978 --> 00:07:28,606
that a man who talks
behind somebody's back is a coward.
97
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:29,875
Wow, I actually appreciate that.
98
00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:31,779
Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell you
directly to your face.
99
00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:34,615
- No. You don't have to.
- No, I don't like you.
100
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:36,120
I think you're a fake cop.
101
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:39,955
The sound of your piss hitting the urinal?
It sounds feminine.
102
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,790
If we were in the wild, I would attack you.
103
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:47,561
Even if you weren't in my food chain,
I would go out of my way to attack you.
104
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,225
If I were a lion, and you were a tuna,
105
00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:51,929
I would swim out in the middle of the ocean
and freaking eat you!
106
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:55,397
And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
107
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:59,842
Okay, first off,
a lion swimming in the ocean?
108
00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:01,106
Lions don't like water.
109
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:05,244
If you'd placed it near a river or some sort
of fresh water source, that'd make sense.
110
00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:07,883
But you find yourself in the ocean,
20-foot waves,
111
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:09,717
I'm assuming
it's off the coast of South Africa,
112
00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:15,356
coming up against a full-grown,
800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends?
113
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:16,588
You lose that battle.
114
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:19,597
You lose that battle nine times out of ten.
And guess what?
115
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:23,965
You've wandered into our school of tuna,
and we now have a taste of lion.
116
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,470
We've talked to ourselves.
We've communicated.
117
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:27,732
- Yeah?
- And said, " You know what?
118
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:30,970
"Lion tastes good.
Let's go get some more lion."
119
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,637
We've developed a system
to establish a beachhead
120
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:36,647
and aggressively hunt you and your family.
121
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:38,910
And we will corner your pride,
122
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,885
- your children, your offspring.
- How you gonna do that?
123
00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:44,548
We will construct a series
of breathing apparatus with kelp.
124
00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:47,115
We will be able to trap
certain amounts of oxygen.
125
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:51,663
It's not gonna be days at a time,
but an hour, hour 45, no problem.
126
00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:54,426
That will give us enough time
to figure out where you live,
127
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,594
go back to the sea, get more oxygen,
and then stalk you.
128
00:08:57,670 --> 00:09:01,162
You just lost at your own game.
You're outgunned and outmanned.
129
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:07,238
Did that go
the way you thought it was gonna go?
130
00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:08,439
Nope.
131
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,614
Two minutes before the markets open,
132
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:20,955
Pamela Boardman, CEO of Lendl Global,
ringing the opening bell.
133
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,628
With Boardman is investment banker,
David Ershon,
134
00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:27,154
who manages 40%
of Lendl's $70-billion equity pool.
135
00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:30,099
How much did we lose?
136
00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:32,467
You may ring the bell now, Ms. Boardman.
137
00:09:32,538 --> 00:09:34,631
- $32.
- Million?
138
00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:36,937
No, billion.
139
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,478
Shit!
140
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:45,650
Chinatown. Three Triad gang members.
I popped two of them off the draw.
141
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,513
- Bang, bang.
- Yeah.
142
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,212
Then I raise up to take the leader out.
143
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,812
Shit, I feel like I'm there now.
144
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:53,085
I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof.
145
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,490
He says, "Let's even the odds!"
146
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:59,993
He tosses me down a Mossberg pump.
I send one through his chest.
147
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,557
Game over, bitches.
148
00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,332
- All right.
- Yeah.
149
00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:11,936
Jimmy? Let's talk about
how that story made you feel.
150
00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:14,001
Like my cock was made out of concrete.
151
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,248
I know it's very tempting.
152
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,411
You want to impress your friends.
153
00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:22,076
But this is serious stuff
we're dealing with, okay?
154
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:25,589
This is firing your weapon
in the line of duty.
155
00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:26,749
Officer Hoitz?
156
00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:28,724
Oh, man.
157
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:29,954
- Come on!
- Here we go.
158
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:31,428
Would you like to share?
159
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:32,656
No, I'd rather not.
160
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,399
Officer Hoitz, you've been coming here
for six months now,
161
00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,264
and you haven't said a word.
162
00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:39,702
This is a safe room, no judgment here.
163
00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:40,864
Jerkoff.
164
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:43,238
That's judgment, Jimmy. Come on.
165
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:44,835
I relive it every night.
166
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,112
Bronx, October.
167
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,011
Game 7 of the World Series.
168
00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:53,347
For all the marbles. High pressure,
unruly crowd, and I pulled tunnel duty.
169
00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:56,252
I mean, I saw a shadowy figure in the tunnel.
I told him to stop.
170
00:10:56,355 --> 00:10:58,255
Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a restricted area!
171
00:10:58,357 --> 00:10:59,688
Finally pulled my gun.
172
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:01,056
Pulled a deadly weapon.
He started running at me.
173
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,027
Don't make me shoot! I'll do it!
174
00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:06,128
Are you deaf? You hear me yell, "Freeze"?
175
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:09,360
You dick! I'm Derek Jeter! You shot me!
176
00:11:09,435 --> 00:11:12,199
- You cost me 20 grand on that game!
- Douche bag.
177
00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:13,738
Cost the city a championship.
178
00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:16,138
I was being groomed
for a top position in homicide.
179
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:19,105
Now I'm stuck with a desk jockey partner.
Everybody calls me the Yankee Clipper.
180
00:11:19,211 --> 00:11:20,872
Because you shot Derek Jeter!
181
00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:22,243
He's a biracial angel.
182
00:11:22,314 --> 00:11:23,975
You should've shot A-Rod.
183
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:32,955
Yo, Paper Bitch.
184
00:11:33,325 --> 00:11:34,986
- What's up, man?
- Hey. Hey, guys.
185
00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:36,789
- Paper Bitch.
- Paper Bitch.
186
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:37,954
I don't like that, actually.
187
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:39,827
I know you guys think it's fun,
but I don't like that name.
188
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:41,490
Still working on
the Danson and Highsmith paperwork?
189
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,659
- Shit.
- No, actually, actually, that's...
190
00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:45,134
What is this? That looks stupid.
191
00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:48,832
Guys, it's illegal permitting for construction.
Specifically, scaffolding.
192
00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:50,465
Some of the guys were talking.
193
00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:53,336
They were like, "How come you've never
fired your weapon in the office before?"
194
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:54,140
Good point.
195
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,211
I'm sorry, I don't follow.
196
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:57,748
You've never fired your weapon
in the office.
197
00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:59,977
We all have, you know.
It's called a desk pop.
198
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,748
Fellas, look, I know
you don't respect me as a police officer.
199
00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:03,981
- Not true.
- I'm not stupid.
200
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,524
I'm not gonna discharge my firearm
in the office.
201
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:08,184
Gamble, listen to me.
I'll try to make it real clear.
202
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:12,424
We honor the flag, and you crap on it
when you don't shoot your gun in the office.
203
00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:14,590
Jimmy.
When's the last time you had a desk pop?
204
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,327
September '08.
205
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:18,765
- Be a man. Do it.
- Now.
206
00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:20,532
- Please, please, do it.
- Pop one off!
207
00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:22,699
- There you go. Pop it off!
- Don't think, just go!
208
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:24,333
- Here we go.
- Do it, yes.
209
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:27,003
He did it!
210
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,944
Hey! Shots fired!
211
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:32,176
Hey, Terry, I did it! I did my first desk pop!
212
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,243
It's a real thing, right?
213
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:35,843
- A desk pop?
- Yeah.
214
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,047
No, that's not real!
215
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:41,082
They were so convincing in their argument,
they swung me.
216
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,927
All right, Allen,
you're gonna have to hand over your gun.
217
00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:47,123
Yes, sir.
218
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:51,226
Captain, you really wanna disarm this guy,
take out the batteries in the calculator.
219
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:54,704
All right, I'm gonna give you this.
This is a dummy gun. I use it for ceremony.
220
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,934
There.
221
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,871
You get this back
when I feel you know how to handle it.
222
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:05,143
Listen, guys.
I'm working two jobs. I'm working here.
223
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:08,414
And I got another job
at Bed Bath and Beyond. Okay?
224
00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:11,115
I'm doing that just to put a kid through NYU
225
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:14,956
so he can explore his bisexuality
and become a deejay.
226
00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:18,485
Now the last thing I need
is a ballistics report in the unit.
227
00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:20,963
I'm just gonna ask you guys,
please, come on, really.
228
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,796
Just think about... Just be smart.
229
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,798
211 in progress.
230
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:56,960
They're using a wrecking ball
to clean out Castien Jewelry.
231
00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:58,469
All right, we got it.
232
00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:00,869
- Good luck, guys. Have a good one.
- Allen, let's go.
233
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:03,840
- No, I got work to do.
- What? This is work!
234
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:07,504
Hey, yo! Danson and Highsmith.
We roll in heavy.
235
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:08,911
You cream puffs, sit tight.
236
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:10,345
You gotta be shitting me!
237
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,512
You can't keep me cooped up in here, okay?
238
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:16,680
I am a peacock! You gotta let me fly!
239
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,057
Did he just...
Did he just call himself a peacock?
240
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:29,829
Let's go! Let's go!
241
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:33,930
Come on, fellas!
242
00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:36,573
Wednesday night is taco night
at Rikers Island!
243
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,049
That's the second one this week!
244
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,417
Hey, you monkeys! Stop!
245
00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:57,221
Let's go!
246
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,121
Yeah!
247
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:00,892
Heads up!
248
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,359
Shit.
249
00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:17,540
Special Forces zipline.
250
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,913
Cut that line! Cut it! Let's go!
251
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:23,417
- These guys are pros.
- Let's go!
252
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:24,888
You thinking what I'm thinking, partner?
253
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,583
Aim for the bushes.
254
00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:57,849
Cops still argue to this day
why Danson and Highsmith jumped.
255
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:01,916
Maybe it was just pride, having survived
so many brushes with death.
256
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:04,155
Maybe their egos pushed them off.
257
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:06,959
I don't know. But that shit was crazy.
258
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:11,765
Either way, there was a hole
in New York City, and it needed to be filled.
259
00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:14,135
Two days ago, this city wept.
260
00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:18,165
We lost two heroes
who gave everything for us,
261
00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:23,180
who paid that ultimate sacrifice
so that we may walk these streets safely.
262
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:25,674
There wasn't even an awning
in their direction.
263
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:27,945
- No, I know.
- They just jumped 20 stories.
264
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,351
Doesn't make sense, does it?
265
00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:33,323
I only hope God lets them take their.357s
with them to heaven.
266
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:36,725
It's our moment, Allen.
Our moment to step up and be the guys.
267
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,891
- We're at a funeral. Show some respect.
- What?
268
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:43,225
You don't think every other detective here
isn't thinking the same thing?
269
00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:48,131
Allen, listen to me.
Danson and Highsmith are gone.
270
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:51,199
Their desks are empty.
Someone has to fill those seats.
271
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:54,837
That someone is us, okay?
The city's dying for a hero.
272
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,670
- Is it?
- Yeah.
273
00:16:56,749 --> 00:17:00,378
What about nine million
socially-conscious and unified citizens,
274
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:02,215
all just stepping up and doing their part?
275
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,551
As a little kid, didn't you dress up
and play cops and robbers?
276
00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:06,817
I'll tell you what I did as a little kid.
277
00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:09,224
I went to school and made my bed.
278
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,922
And at age 11, I audited my parents.
279
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,330
And believe me, there were some
discrepancies, and I was grounded.
280
00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:17,266
What the hell are you?
281
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:20,338
Well, well, well. What do we got here?
282
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:24,502
Look at these two jamokes, would you?
One shot Jeter and the other shot an office.
283
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,510
Have some decorum. We're at a funeral.
284
00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:32,777
You wanna dance, brolio?
285
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:37,117
I will rock your body with big, nasty hooks.
You'll be pissing blood out of your ass.
286
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:38,280
That's horrible.
287
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,550
Why don't you step back, man?
288
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,092
You touch him, I swear to God
289
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:43,024
I'm gonna beat the shit out of you
with Allen's head.
290
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:45,620
He's not gonna do that. That's hyperbole.
But that's a weird example.
291
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,528
- You wanna go?
- I wanna go!
292
00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:50,299
- Get him off.
- Kick his ass, Martin.
293
00:17:50,936 --> 00:17:52,130
Yeah. How do you like that?
294
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:55,063
- Pull his hair!
- I love it.
295
00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:56,935
This hurts so good.
296
00:17:57,876 --> 00:18:00,037
- Very sorry for your loss, ma'am.
- What a lovely hat.
297
00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:01,670
I love your shoes.
298
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:03,771
- It's fine, it's fine.
- Go, go.
299
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:05,542
Punish him!
300
00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:07,642
Oh, man.
301
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,288
Do it. That's how we do it in the hood.
302
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:11,583
- Punish him.
- That's not even a move.
303
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:15,123
I'm the winner.
I'm the winner, everybody saw it.
304
00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:17,195
What the hell is going on here?
305
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,321
Two good men are dead,
306
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:22,492
and you guys are fighting over
who's gonna be the next hotshot?
307
00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:23,694
Is that what's happening?
308
00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:25,326
Yes, that's exactly what's happening.
309
00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:28,062
Let me tell you something.
310
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:30,071
- Sorry for your loss, Lorraine.
- Very sorry.
311
00:18:30,576 --> 00:18:32,476
- Sorry, Lorraine.
- Sorry, Lorraine.
312
00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:34,308
Hi, I'm Jimmy.
313
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:37,175
- Too soon?
- Why'd you say that?
314
00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:39,341
I'll tell you something about those guys.
315
00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:44,014
They knew that to become a good cop,
you had to solve cases. Okay?
316
00:18:44,823 --> 00:18:48,088
Okay, and maybe you start
with the Castien robbery.
317
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,757
Okay? So just watch it.
318
00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:53,931
Next time, me, you, library.
319
00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:56,159
- Not even close.
- Come on, guys. Guys, come on.
320
00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:58,836
- You are...
- I'm the winner!
321
00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:02,169
I didn't need you to stick up for me, okay?
I could've handled that myself.
322
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:05,938
Hey, don't flatter yourself.
It's the partner's code. I had no choice.
323
00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:07,272
Move.
324
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:19,451
- 9:15, let's have a great day, everybody!
- Cut the shit!
325
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:27,659
Good morning.
326
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:31,833
We've got shots fired. 509 East 10th Street.
327
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,838
There are large amounts of cocaine
on the scene.
328
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,032
Try to stay out of trouble, boys.
329
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,801
There's no chance
you'd wanna go on that call, right?
330
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:38,706
No chance. Too busy.
331
00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:43,346
All right, ladies. Starting to get the picture?
We're about to lock shit down.
332
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:45,406
- That's right.
- You girls stay here and get your type on.
333
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,417
Go get them, guys.
Lot of energy, lot of focus.
334
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:48,645
Shut up!
335
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,984
Allen, could I see you in the hallway
for a second?
336
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:52,523
I... I'm super busy right now, Terry.
337
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,491
No, no, no, I know. This'll be real quick.
338
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,425
It's about the construction permits
you were talking about.
339
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,519
- The scaffolding violations?
- This is our thing, yeah.
340
00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:01,723
So, what do you got?
341
00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:04,324
I got this! I'll put one right in your neck.
342
00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:05,495
What are you doing?
343
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:08,267
Let's go. We're going to that call.
344
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:09,931
- What is this?
- Shut up.
345
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,374
We're going to the car,
and we're going after this case.
346
00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:13,877
- You're not gonna shoot me.
- I won't?
347
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,413
- No.
- I shot Jeter.
348
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:17,675
- That was an accident.
- Was it?
349
00:20:17,749 --> 00:20:19,273
- Now move.
- Okay.
350
00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:21,349
Hey.
351
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:24,617
Does anybody see this?
He's got a gun on me.
352
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,520
I'm being kidnapped.
353
00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:29,686
Really, we're in a police station
and no one is interested in this?
354
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,295
- So, then what happened?
- What do you think happened?
355
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:35,764
I woke up, I took the belt off my neck,
and I got in my car, and I got out of there.
356
00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:37,391
Talk about a wild weekend, right?
357
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:40,768
I thought I was gonna
have to shoot my way out.
358
00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:43,033
What are you gonna do, though, you know?
Bar mitzvahs.
359
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,275
What the hell is this?
360
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:50,075
It's my car. It's a Prius.
361
00:20:50,148 --> 00:20:53,811
I feel like we're literally driving around
in a vagina.
362
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,752
Detective Hoitz and Gamble
are on that 518 on East 10th.
363
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:58,915
Negatory, Martin and Fosse,
two minutes out.
364
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,720
We'll just see who's there first.
365
00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:03,488
You stay out of our crime scene!
You hear me?
366
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,220
Go, go, go!
367
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:08,327
You feel that, Allen?
That tingling in your balls?
368
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,298
Big metal butterflies fluttering around
in your stomach?
369
00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:11,994
Are you sure
you don't have testicular cancer?
370
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,129
I got something to get you going.
371
00:21:16,975 --> 00:21:19,136
Let's go do some damage!
372
00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:21,807
Nope.
373
00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:25,309
What the hell is that?
374
00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:27,778
LRB. Little River Band.
375
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,452
This music makes me feel like
I'm going shopping for a training bra.
376
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:33,257
You know what?
We go with no music, okay?
377
00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:34,451
- Fine.
- Say bye.
378
00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:35,652
No, no, no, don't say bye...
379
00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:37,456
You just signed
your own death warrant, Hoitz!
380
00:21:37,529 --> 00:21:40,760
Allen, punch that accelerator
or I will shoot you in the foot!
381
00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:42,265
America!
382
00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:44,865
Allen! Allen, hit the brake!
383
00:21:45,871 --> 00:21:48,635
Seriously, slow the car down!
We're approaching the crime scene!
384
00:21:48,707 --> 00:21:49,799
Terry, I'm coming in.
385
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,706
You're gonna smash
right through the tape! Allen!
386
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:53,477
Dude! What...
387
00:21:58,684 --> 00:22:00,811
That's a lot of cocaine.
388
00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:04,779
Did you yell "America"
when you hit the accelerator?
389
00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:06,653
Nope. No. No.
390
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:09,691
I've never actually put my foot
all the way down
391
00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:13,692
to the ground with the accelerator like that.
392
00:22:14,866 --> 00:22:17,164
It got me slightly aroused.
393
00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:21,297
Here we go.
394
00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:26,833
Way to put your stamp
on the crime scene, guys.
395
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:29,346
- Prius, huh?
- Yep, yep.
396
00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:30,676
Good mileage?
397
00:22:30,749 --> 00:22:32,148
- Outstanding.
- Yeah.
398
00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:34,811
Did this come with a dental dam?
399
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,420
- No.
- Get it?
400
00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:40,892
My Suburban shit one of these last night.
401
00:22:40,992 --> 00:22:42,584
I didn't know they put tampons on wheels.
402
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,356
We've had our fun, huh?
403
00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:48,399
Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car.
404
00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:50,259
All right, everybody!
405
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,395
I'm gonna need you all to back up now.
We're taking over.
406
00:22:53,505 --> 00:22:55,905
"At the crime scene, LOL."
407
00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:57,702
- Good tweet, good tweet.
- Yeah, thanks.
408
00:22:58,076 --> 00:23:01,842
America has always been defined
by its excess.
409
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:05,516
The Grand Canyon,
professional sports contracts.
410
00:23:05,584 --> 00:23:08,018
Wendy's Baconator, extra bacon.
411
00:23:08,086 --> 00:23:11,954
I myself have 18 Lamborghinis
412
00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:15,059
and a Subaru station wagon.
413
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,261
And it's because of this excess
that I have flourished.
414
00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:21,958
I implore you, please, do not stop profiting.
415
00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:25,764
Live for excess. It's the American way.
416
00:23:32,310 --> 00:23:33,607
Hello.
417
00:23:34,312 --> 00:23:37,475
Mr. Ershon? I believe this call's for you.
418
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:42,045
Sir David.
419
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:45,749
David. You're not returning my calls,
so I'd like you to meet Roger Wesley.
420
00:23:45,824 --> 00:23:47,451
- G'day, mate.
- Hey.
421
00:23:47,893 --> 00:23:50,157
Roger and his team are gonna babysit you
because I don't trust you,
422
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,524
because I think you're going to take off.
423
00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:55,095
Pamela, this is ridiculous.
I'm not going anywhere.
424
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:57,601
David, listen,
the Lendl quarterlies come out on the 26th.
425
00:23:57,669 --> 00:24:00,502
You have until then to give me my money.
I'm not reporting any losses, David.
426
00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:02,436
I have zeroed in on a new investor.
427
00:24:02,507 --> 00:24:05,533
Well, then, you get their money,
make it disappear, and then pay us back.
428
00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:08,943
Yes, yes, I'll tell him
he doesn't need to keep watching me.
429
00:24:09,014 --> 00:24:11,505
- David!
- Okay, sweetheart, bye-bye.
430
00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:15,985
Yeah. She overreacted. She's a woman.
So, you're good to go.
431
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:17,513
Heard everything, mate.
432
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:18,881
Ladies and gentlemen,
433
00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:23,484
guess who gave me the secrets
to making my first billion dollars.
434
00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:26,864
That man there.
435
00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:29,657
Go! Go!
436
00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:31,799
- Side!
- Step aside, please.
437
00:24:32,571 --> 00:24:34,334
You don't think I'm a real cop, do you?
438
00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:36,670
No, I don't. I've said that
directly to your face numerous times.
439
00:24:36,741 --> 00:24:37,867
I was really honest about that.
440
00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:40,467
I'm working on a huge case, all right?
441
00:24:40,545 --> 00:24:42,672
Property owner with seven buildings
under construction.
442
00:24:42,747 --> 00:24:45,875
He hasn't applied
for a single scaffolding permit.
443
00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:49,920
Now, according to Ask Jeeves, this perp
is at the Plaza Hotel speaking right now.
444
00:24:50,021 --> 00:24:53,718
- That's your big case? Scaffolding permits?
- Yeah.
445
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,055
Guess what? You're coming with me.
446
00:24:57,829 --> 00:24:59,729
It's a wooden gun.
447
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,065
That hurts, man!
448
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:10,206
I've always got Little River Band
loaded up here. I've got six disks in here.
449
00:25:11,042 --> 00:25:14,205
Claude, meet me outside,
at the back of the service entrance.
450
00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:16,747
I'm flying Air Singapore.
451
00:25:16,848 --> 00:25:18,543
- Hey, Douglas. How's the wife?
- She died.
452
00:25:18,617 --> 00:25:19,709
Attaboy!
453
00:25:19,784 --> 00:25:21,752
I'll be there in two minutes exactly.
454
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,515
Another thing I hate about you?
You always pay in exact change.
455
00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:27,888
You're just mad
because I have a nice change purse.
456
00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:29,085
Why do you even care?
457
00:25:29,194 --> 00:25:32,129
How can I help it? You know what?
You know what's worse?
458
00:25:32,230 --> 00:25:34,255
The way you fart.
Even your farts, they're not manly.
459
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:35,458
You're being ridiculous.
460
00:25:35,567 --> 00:25:38,127
They sound like a baby blowing out
the candles on a birthday cake.
461
00:25:38,236 --> 00:25:39,533
- What?
- Like a little...
462
00:25:39,604 --> 00:25:41,469
- You know what bugs me about you?
- What?
463
00:25:41,573 --> 00:25:42,904
I'm pretty sure you've never voted.
464
00:25:42,974 --> 00:25:46,307
No, I vote. Sports radio, AM 880.
Play of the week.
465
00:25:46,411 --> 00:25:48,743
You're like a child in a leather jacket.
That's what you're like.
466
00:25:48,813 --> 00:25:49,905
Get out of the way, man!
467
00:25:49,981 --> 00:25:51,881
Wait. Are you David Ershon?
468
00:25:52,450 --> 00:25:55,248
Yeah, well, it's Sir David Ershon,
but I don't bother with the...
469
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,585
Anyway, little bit of a rush, gentlemen,
if you don't mind. Thank you.
470
00:25:58,657 --> 00:26:01,922
- Excuse me, but you're under arrest, okay?
- What?
471
00:26:01,993 --> 00:26:06,930
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you do or say can be used...
472
00:26:06,998 --> 00:26:09,125
- What's the next part?
- As a floatation device.
473
00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:10,724
As a floatation device.
474
00:26:10,802 --> 00:26:14,329
You know what? That's very funny.
I have never Miranda-ed anyone before.
475
00:26:14,439 --> 00:26:16,236
- Really?
- Are you guys for real?
476
00:26:16,308 --> 00:26:17,400
Am I being punk'd?
477
00:26:18,543 --> 00:26:19,840
Detective Allen Gamble.
478
00:26:19,911 --> 00:26:22,846
We are in a cocaine-covered car,
and we are bringing in a perp.
479
00:26:22,948 --> 00:26:25,746
- One David Ershon.
- 175 pounds.
480
00:26:25,817 --> 00:26:27,842
- Thank you. 175 pounds.
- Shut up, man, shut up!
481
00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:31,852
Martin and Fosse are probably on Studio B
talking to Shepard Smith right now.
482
00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:34,790
We arrest this jerkoff
for a scaffolding permit?
483
00:26:34,859 --> 00:26:37,089
Wait, wait, wait,
what am I being arrested for?
484
00:26:37,162 --> 00:26:39,027
For scaffolding permit violation...
485
00:26:48,039 --> 00:26:49,939
- I got my insurance card. Somewhere.
- Easy, mate.
486
00:26:50,008 --> 00:26:52,374
- What the hell? You ran right into us!
- Stand over there.
487
00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:54,002
Wood?
488
00:26:54,546 --> 00:26:55,672
What the...
489
00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:57,543
- Couldn't see the car. It's big enough, mate.
- What?
490
00:26:57,649 --> 00:26:59,276
Do not let these men take me.
491
00:27:01,052 --> 00:27:02,144
Hi.
492
00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:04,778
Why's she looking at you like that?
493
00:27:04,856 --> 00:27:06,346
That's my car!
494
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:10,189
Hey, hey, hey!
We didn't exchange insurance information!
495
00:27:10,562 --> 00:27:12,120
Hey! Excuse me!
496
00:27:12,998 --> 00:27:15,398
Why did they take our shoes?
497
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:18,901
- What the hell just happened?
- Where's my iPhone?
498
00:27:20,071 --> 00:27:22,198
I think we've walked 30 blocks, man.
499
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:27,335
I don't get why we can't just call the office
and have a squad car come pick us up.
500
00:27:27,412 --> 00:27:29,903
No. They took our shoes,
our guns, and our car.
501
00:27:30,015 --> 00:27:31,642
There's no way that's going out on the radio.
502
00:27:32,017 --> 00:27:35,145
Look, if we're gonna do this together,
there's some issues we need to settle, okay?
503
00:27:35,220 --> 00:27:38,815
I mean, you said I had a weak chin.
You said the way I pee is feminine.
504
00:27:38,890 --> 00:27:40,084
How do you think that makes me feel?
505
00:27:40,191 --> 00:27:45,254
I mean, that list you have,
you put a lot of thought in. It's weird.
506
00:27:45,363 --> 00:27:47,593
I hear you.
507
00:27:47,699 --> 00:27:52,432
Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start.
508
00:27:52,537 --> 00:27:55,165
All right. Fresh start.
509
00:27:56,875 --> 00:28:00,436
Maybe we should call ourselves
the Febreze Brothers,
510
00:28:00,545 --> 00:28:02,103
'cause it's feeling so fresh right now.
511
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:04,740
Right?
512
00:28:05,050 --> 00:28:07,917
Let's do another fresh start, 'cause
I just wanted to punch you in the face.
513
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,781
Fine, fresh start.
514
00:28:10,889 --> 00:28:12,686
It's the last one.
515
00:28:12,757 --> 00:28:14,691
I have to be able to express myself
and say things, you know.
516
00:28:17,629 --> 00:28:20,393
- Okay, folks! Everybody, listen up!
- Listen up!
517
00:28:20,465 --> 00:28:22,399
Got a high profile kidnapping.
518
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,933
David Ershon, wealthy banker,
multinational team.
519
00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:28,062
Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell.
520
00:28:28,139 --> 00:28:32,576
Hey, Bilbo Baggins. Where are your shoes?
'Cause your feet are black.
521
00:28:32,644 --> 00:28:34,635
Who cares? It's not important, okay?
522
00:28:34,746 --> 00:28:37,271
Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good.
523
00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:40,878
- Bye, guys.
- Bye-bye.
524
00:28:40,952 --> 00:28:42,044
Come on.
525
00:28:42,487 --> 00:28:45,650
Guys, this is Don Beaman,
the attorney for Mr. Ershon.
526
00:28:45,757 --> 00:28:47,884
Roger Wesley, head of his private security.
527
00:28:47,959 --> 00:28:49,893
- Hey, how are you? You son of a bitch!
- Hey, hey, hey!
528
00:28:49,961 --> 00:28:51,724
Hey, Terry! Take it easy!
529
00:28:51,796 --> 00:28:53,764
- That's the guy who took our guns, Captain.
- And my shoes!
530
00:28:53,832 --> 00:28:56,892
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you
identify yourselves as police officers?
531
00:28:56,968 --> 00:28:58,060
What is this?
532
00:28:58,136 --> 00:29:00,468
- Allen, tell me. Did you?
- No, we did not.
533
00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:04,565
Sorry, gentlemen.
We thought you were abducting Mr. Ershon.
534
00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:06,270
It's only protocol.
535
00:29:06,478 --> 00:29:11,108
Mr. Ershon has agreed to correct this
scaffolding situation. The case is closed.
536
00:29:11,182 --> 00:29:13,673
I've taken care of all necessary paperwork.
537
00:29:13,785 --> 00:29:15,878
And you fellas, at this point,
should just be glad that
538
00:29:15,987 --> 00:29:19,479
Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges
for excessive use of force.
539
00:29:19,557 --> 00:29:21,024
- Thank you, Captain.
- You bet.
540
00:29:21,559 --> 00:29:23,151
Australian?
541
00:29:23,228 --> 00:29:24,661
Special Forces, right?
542
00:29:25,029 --> 00:29:27,554
Best watch your step, Detective.
543
00:29:27,665 --> 00:29:30,361
There are three things I love in this world.
544
00:29:30,468 --> 00:29:31,526
Kylie Minogue,
545
00:29:33,138 --> 00:29:35,902
small dimples just above
a woman's buttocks...
546
00:29:36,007 --> 00:29:37,372
Beautiful features.
547
00:29:37,475 --> 00:29:40,205
...and the fear in a man's eye
who knows I'm about to hurt him.
548
00:29:40,311 --> 00:29:44,839
Hey! Shake your dicks.
This pissing contest is over.
549
00:29:44,916 --> 00:29:46,247
Come on, man.
550
00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:51,914
All right, look, they returned your shoes.
551
00:29:52,357 --> 00:29:56,589
And they returned your weapons.
Here you go, Terry.
552
00:29:58,196 --> 00:30:00,892
Allen, someone was nice enough
to put linseed oil on it,
553
00:30:00,999 --> 00:30:03,832
some kind of stain on that,
dark walnut or something.
554
00:30:03,902 --> 00:30:06,496
You might wanna think about
dropping them a thank you note.
555
00:30:06,571 --> 00:30:07,697
Okay.
556
00:30:07,772 --> 00:30:08,898
You're mad at us, huh, Gene?
557
00:30:09,007 --> 00:30:12,704
First off, don't call me Gene.
I'm your captain.
558
00:30:12,777 --> 00:30:15,371
Guys, do you remember
the "Be Smart" speech?
559
00:30:15,446 --> 00:30:16,572
- Sure.
- All right.
560
00:30:16,681 --> 00:30:19,275
Well, what did you do?
What'd you do about it?
561
00:30:19,384 --> 00:30:22,182
The opposite.
We were not smart, Captain Gene.
562
00:30:22,253 --> 00:30:24,221
It's just "Captain."
563
00:30:24,289 --> 00:30:27,349
Just "Captain." It's not "Captain Gene."
I don't have a kiddie show.
564
00:30:27,425 --> 00:30:29,052
That sounds creepy, "Captain Gene."
565
00:30:29,460 --> 00:30:33,521
Police mistakenly arrest
investment banker, David Ershon.
566
00:30:33,598 --> 00:30:36,533
Was he the victim of financial profiling?
567
00:30:36,601 --> 00:30:41,300
Financial profiling? That's crazy.
He broke the law and we arrested him.
568
00:30:41,406 --> 00:30:45,467
That wasn't a security team. He said,
"Don't let these people take me."
569
00:30:45,577 --> 00:30:47,977
I mean, when you hear hooves,
you think horses, not zebras.
570
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,077
What about donkeys or deer?
571
00:30:51,149 --> 00:30:53,117
They have hooves.
What about bovine creatures?
572
00:30:55,119 --> 00:30:57,246
Were you just thinking to yourself,
"Fresh start"?
573
00:30:57,322 --> 00:31:00,291
- Yeah.
- Yeah. I could see it.
574
00:31:00,391 --> 00:31:02,450
Listen, why don't we just
go over to my place?
575
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:03,891
We'll talk the case down.
576
00:31:03,962 --> 00:31:05,987
We can have a little dinner.
You can meet Sheila.
577
00:31:06,097 --> 00:31:08,793
Two cops talking down a case
while eating food, all right?
578
00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:10,060
- It's not dinner.
- Fine.
579
00:31:10,134 --> 00:31:11,931
And let me apologize in advance, okay,
580
00:31:12,003 --> 00:31:14,403
in case my wife acts like a world-class bitch.
581
00:31:14,472 --> 00:31:19,671
She's a big old broad,
and she likes to wield it.
582
00:31:20,345 --> 00:31:25,681
Okay, so I put together a little bio,
complete with pictures of Mr. David Ershon.
583
00:31:25,783 --> 00:31:29,184
I used Adobe Premiere.
I like to do a little weekend editing.
584
00:31:29,287 --> 00:31:32,848
I recently just cut three minutes
out of Goodfellas.
585
00:31:32,957 --> 00:31:36,188
David Ershon is currently
the CEO of Ershon Consortium.
586
00:31:36,294 --> 00:31:37,352
Who's that talking?
587
00:31:37,462 --> 00:31:39,987
It's the Frontline Narration App.
It's only 99 cents.
588
00:31:40,098 --> 00:31:44,091
Ershon Consortium, current financial
investments exceed $70 billion.
589
00:31:44,168 --> 00:31:47,194
His largest clients include
Schering-Plough and Lendl Global.
590
00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:50,001
Lendl Global has those TV ads
where I can't figure out what they do.
591
00:31:50,108 --> 00:31:53,168
Yeah, oil, media, health care,
you've probably heard their jingle.
592
00:31:53,278 --> 00:31:56,213
Lendl Global, we're in everything
593
00:31:56,314 --> 00:31:59,147
David Ershon is often found
in the company of Judge Scalia...
594
00:31:59,217 --> 00:32:01,549
- Yeah.
...and the lead singer of Maroon 5.
595
00:32:01,653 --> 00:32:03,484
I mean, this guy could be
connected to drug cartels,
596
00:32:03,554 --> 00:32:06,387
black market organ sales,
human trafficking, all of it.
597
00:32:06,491 --> 00:32:08,118
How do you get that
from anything I just said?
598
00:32:08,192 --> 00:32:09,989
Hey, guys! Soup's on.
599
00:32:10,061 --> 00:32:11,460
What do you mean?
600
00:32:13,564 --> 00:32:14,656
Hi.
601
00:32:14,732 --> 00:32:16,324
- Hi.
- You must be Terry.
602
00:32:16,401 --> 00:32:19,632
I'm sorry I've been hiding, honey,
but this dinner was tricky.
603
00:32:21,005 --> 00:32:23,735
- Who are you?
- I'm Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife.
604
00:32:24,042 --> 00:32:26,670
- Come on, seriously. Who is that?
- His old lady.
605
00:32:26,744 --> 00:32:29,235
- Sweetie, it's a workstation.
- Got it.
606
00:32:29,347 --> 00:32:32,874
And you come in here,
dressed like a hobo, it's distracting.
607
00:32:32,984 --> 00:32:34,918
I know you're working. I'm so sorry.
608
00:32:35,019 --> 00:32:37,010
- Come on, seriously.
- Come on, what?
609
00:32:37,088 --> 00:32:38,316
Who is that?
610
00:32:38,389 --> 00:32:40,414
That's the old...
That's the old ball and chain.
611
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:44,318
Get over here.
612
00:32:44,395 --> 00:32:46,022
- Not... Not right now.
- Okay.
613
00:32:46,097 --> 00:32:48,088
Look, they're not all first-round picks, okay?
614
00:32:48,499 --> 00:32:49,898
Come on, are you gonna tell me who that is?
615
00:32:50,768 --> 00:32:54,260
- Are you really Allen's wife?
- I know.
616
00:32:54,372 --> 00:32:57,830
People are shocked
because he's Episcopalian and I'm Catholic,
617
00:32:58,509 --> 00:32:59,942
but somehow it works.
618
00:33:00,678 --> 00:33:03,238
- Are you gonna change?
- I already did.
619
00:33:03,448 --> 00:33:05,575
It's no big deal. You look really, really nice.
620
00:33:05,683 --> 00:33:09,744
Terry, you don't have to be polite, okay?
She looks kind of shitty.
621
00:33:09,854 --> 00:33:11,185
Don't speak to her like that, Allen.
622
00:33:11,255 --> 00:33:15,521
Look, if I put that in my Cosmo Fashion App,
you'd probably get a D-.
623
00:33:16,094 --> 00:33:17,891
Allen and his apps. He loves them.
624
00:33:17,962 --> 00:33:21,420
You know he's designed three of his own?
One of them... Can I tell him?
625
00:33:22,066 --> 00:33:23,966
One of them,
you can take a picture of anybody's face,
626
00:33:24,068 --> 00:33:26,866
and it'll tell you
what the back of his head looks like.
627
00:33:27,105 --> 00:33:28,436
- Faceback.
- Faceback.
628
00:33:28,539 --> 00:33:30,564
Got some horrible reviews
coming out of the gate.
629
00:33:30,942 --> 00:33:32,102
- It's gonna hit.
- It's gonna catch.
630
00:33:32,210 --> 00:33:34,235
Why are you with Allen?
631
00:33:34,312 --> 00:33:38,214
I mean, that's not what I meant.
I meant, how did you guys meet?
632
00:33:38,282 --> 00:33:40,750
It's a really typical
"how we met" story, Terry.
633
00:33:41,319 --> 00:33:42,513
You're gonna be bored by it.
634
00:33:42,587 --> 00:33:46,580
I was a dancer for the Knicks while
finishing my residency at Columbia Hospital.
635
00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:48,921
Allen came into the ER
with poison ivy on his rectum.
636
00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:50,085
Yes.
637
00:33:50,194 --> 00:33:52,822
Needless to say, I fell for him immediately.
638
00:33:53,231 --> 00:33:57,463
We immediately spent the next three days
at the La Quinta Inn,
639
00:33:58,202 --> 00:34:00,534
- and, to be honest, we didn't speak.
- Three days
640
00:34:00,605 --> 00:34:03,165
of not communicating once verbally.
641
00:34:03,474 --> 00:34:05,533
We had actually, without knowing it,
642
00:34:05,610 --> 00:34:10,877
developed a language of eye flutters
and non-verbal gestures.
643
00:34:11,115 --> 00:34:13,777
You know, Terry,
it was just this primal connection.
644
00:34:14,218 --> 00:34:19,212
After those three days of non-verbal
communication and a whole lot of loving,
645
00:34:19,457 --> 00:34:22,756
I had to go to a specialist
to get my hips realigned.
646
00:34:23,161 --> 00:34:26,790
Similar to operating on a German shepherd
647
00:34:27,532 --> 00:34:31,093
- when they have hip dysplasia.
- Very painful.
648
00:34:31,436 --> 00:34:35,463
It's funny, it's like a scene from that
one movie, always forget the name of it.
649
00:34:35,573 --> 00:34:36,733
- With Meg Ryan.
- Yes.
650
00:34:36,808 --> 00:34:39,777
I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan
meets a guy with poison ivy up his ass.
651
00:34:39,877 --> 00:34:42,277
- I'll think of it. I'll think of it.
- Okay.
652
00:34:42,380 --> 00:34:44,075
So, what about you, Terry?
Do you have a girl?
653
00:34:44,148 --> 00:34:46,139
I did, yeah.
654
00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:48,718
We were supposed to get married,
but she backed out. It's complicated.
655
00:34:48,786 --> 00:34:51,254
- Terry shot Derek Jeter.
- Shut up, Allen. This was before.
656
00:34:51,322 --> 00:34:52,584
That's okay.
657
00:34:52,657 --> 00:34:54,625
She's Got Mail.
That's the name of the movie.
658
00:34:54,725 --> 00:34:56,659
That's it! Honey!
659
00:34:56,761 --> 00:34:57,819
- With Tom Hanks?
- Right.
660
00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:58,987
- And Meg Ryan.
- Meg Ryan.
661
00:34:59,097 --> 00:35:00,155
He didn't have poison ivy up his ass.
662
00:35:00,264 --> 00:35:01,561
- Yes, he did.
- Yes, he did. Yeah.
663
00:35:01,632 --> 00:35:02,894
Way up there.
664
00:35:03,401 --> 00:35:05,995
Well, Terry, can't thank you enough
for coming by. What a...
665
00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:07,731
What a wonderful, lovely evening.
Thank you.
666
00:35:07,805 --> 00:35:11,434
- It was so, so nice meeting you, Terry.
- It was my pleasure. Thank you.
667
00:35:11,509 --> 00:35:16,003
And remember, all I ask of you is,
you don't let him get hurt, Terry.
668
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:18,480
- She tells me that every day before I leave.
- Yep, I do.
669
00:35:18,816 --> 00:35:21,649
I come downstairs and I make him
his fresh-cut strawberries,
670
00:35:21,752 --> 00:35:24,516
and I say, " Listen, my little sugar balls,
whatever you do today,
671
00:35:24,622 --> 00:35:25,919
"you just don't get hurt."
672
00:35:25,990 --> 00:35:27,321
Yeah. Every morning.
673
00:35:27,758 --> 00:35:31,250
And then I show him my breasts,
and I say, " These are waiting for you
674
00:35:31,329 --> 00:35:32,455
- "when you get back home."
- Right.
675
00:35:32,530 --> 00:35:35,431
You know, Terry, they're not
the biggest breasts he's ever seen,
676
00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:37,934
- but, man, are they perky.
- Not by a long shot.
677
00:35:38,002 --> 00:35:40,664
- And they are firm, and they are yours.
- You're a nice lady.
678
00:35:42,473 --> 00:35:43,667
Thank you for coming.
679
00:35:44,041 --> 00:35:48,000
Detectives Hoitz and Gamble?
Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Over.
680
00:35:48,112 --> 00:35:49,170
Go for Hoitz.
681
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:50,804
- We found your red Prius.
- Great.
682
00:35:50,882 --> 00:35:52,975
It was trying to vote for Ralph Nader.
683
00:35:53,050 --> 00:35:55,280
- Come on.
- Okay, sugar balls, listen up.
684
00:35:55,353 --> 00:35:56,650
There's gonna be fingerprints on that car.
685
00:35:56,721 --> 00:35:59,053
Tomorrow, we're gonna run those
fingerprints through the system.
686
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:02,820
And if we get a hit, this case is gonna
heat up faster than a junkie's spoon.
687
00:36:02,894 --> 00:36:05,226
You do one thing
when you wake up tomorrow, bring it.
688
00:36:05,329 --> 00:36:06,387
- Okay.
- Thank you, Sheila.
689
00:36:06,497 --> 00:36:07,555
He'll bring it.
690
00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:09,292
- Good night!
- Good night.
691
00:36:09,367 --> 00:36:10,698
Thank you, Sheila.
692
00:36:11,035 --> 00:36:14,061
- Bye, Terry!
- Bye, Sheila! I'll never forget tonight.
693
00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:15,969
- Bye, Terry!
- All right, Allen, whatever. Go inside.
694
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,132
Bye, Sheila!
695
00:36:17,208 --> 00:36:18,698
- Night!
- See you... See you, Terry!
696
00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:20,667
Bye, Sheila.
697
00:36:24,649 --> 00:36:27,243
I don't know if he heard me. Bye, Terry!
698
00:36:27,351 --> 00:36:28,909
Bye, Sheila!
699
00:36:32,356 --> 00:36:36,759
Well, here she is. They left her
under an overpass for the night.
700
00:36:36,861 --> 00:36:38,522
You find anything?
701
00:36:38,596 --> 00:36:41,360
Yeah. We found a lot of stuff.
702
00:36:41,432 --> 00:36:43,400
From bodily fluid and hair samples,
703
00:36:43,501 --> 00:36:46,527
we determined that a bunch of old,
homeless dudes had an orgy in the car.
704
00:36:46,604 --> 00:36:48,868
- Oh, God.
- Yeah.
705
00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:50,771
You know what that's called
when they do that in there?
706
00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:52,342
That's called a soup kitchen.
707
00:36:52,410 --> 00:36:54,002
It's pretty rough stuff.
708
00:36:54,078 --> 00:36:57,570
Not long after that,
a mama raccoon came along
709
00:36:57,682 --> 00:36:59,081
and gave birth on the floor.
710
00:36:59,917 --> 00:37:01,509
Placenta blew out
all over the back window there.
711
00:37:02,653 --> 00:37:05,281
Yeah, and then to top it all off,
some joker comes along
712
00:37:05,556 --> 00:37:08,650
takes himself a nifty little dump
in the driver's seat.
713
00:37:08,993 --> 00:37:10,722
I think he knew you guys were cops,
714
00:37:11,128 --> 00:37:13,596
because this is what I would call
a spite shit.
715
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:15,498
You were able to determine all of that
716
00:37:15,566 --> 00:37:17,397
- from the hair and fluid samples?
- Oh, yeah.
717
00:37:17,802 --> 00:37:19,667
What about fingerprints?
You find any fingerprints?
718
00:37:19,737 --> 00:37:21,762
- Nope, couldn't get a one.
- Found a cell phone.
719
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:23,434
Yeah, that's mine.
720
00:37:23,574 --> 00:37:25,007
Any signs of a struggle or spent shells?
721
00:37:25,610 --> 00:37:29,808
No. Believe me, everybody that was
in on this orgy was more than willing.
722
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:31,973
In fact, they even left you a note here.
723
00:37:32,049 --> 00:37:35,746
"Thanks for the F-shack.
Love, Dirty Mike and the boys."
724
00:37:35,886 --> 00:37:36,910
Here's something we found.
725
00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:39,582
We found about a dozen
unscratched lottery tickets.
726
00:37:39,757 --> 00:37:42,817
No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out.
727
00:37:42,994 --> 00:37:46,327
Yeah, it's a real shame, you know.
I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine.
728
00:37:47,164 --> 00:37:50,133
It's my first brand-new car.
I've never owned a new car.
729
00:37:50,201 --> 00:37:51,964
Found a deer vagina.
730
00:37:52,837 --> 00:37:55,032
- What?
- Thought it was human lips at first.
731
00:37:55,139 --> 00:37:57,607
Then we took a closer look.
It was definitely a deer vagina.
732
00:37:59,944 --> 00:38:00,808
Not even a free ticket.
733
00:38:02,046 --> 00:38:03,274
What are we gonna do?
734
00:38:03,381 --> 00:38:06,441
We got no fingerprints,
a bunch of losing lottery tickets.
735
00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:09,152
Look at this, there's a two-minute phone call
made after we were jumped.
736
00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:11,688
- They used your phone?
- They ghost dialed.
737
00:38:11,756 --> 00:38:12,916
Someone probably sat on it.
738
00:38:13,024 --> 00:38:15,754
It could have recorded some of their
conversation when Ershon got grabbed.
739
00:38:15,860 --> 00:38:17,191
We gotta hear the other side of that call.
740
00:38:18,362 --> 00:38:19,727
Nope, no, it's nothing.
741
00:38:19,797 --> 00:38:22,061
- Nothing? It's the only lead we have.
- It's nothing. It's nothing.
742
00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:23,532
Why did you just get super jumpy?
743
00:38:24,635 --> 00:38:25,727
What?
744
00:38:25,803 --> 00:38:27,771
It's an ex-girlfriend, okay?
745
00:38:27,872 --> 00:38:29,601
What's the matter?
What happened with you guys?
746
00:38:29,707 --> 00:38:31,538
She was just a bit of a handful, that's it.
747
00:38:36,547 --> 00:38:38,481
Allen, it's the only lead we have.
748
00:38:38,582 --> 00:38:40,914
We either go with this
or we walk away from this case right now.
749
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:43,385
Fine. Let's go see her.
750
00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:57,562
Hello, Christinith.
751
00:38:57,635 --> 00:38:59,227
Hello, Allen.
752
00:39:01,639 --> 00:39:04,403
- That's my partner, Terry.
- Hi, Telly.
753
00:39:04,842 --> 00:39:08,005
- Holy shit. Dude.
- Just relax, relax.
754
00:39:08,779 --> 00:39:13,182
I waited for you in Tower Records
for four hours.
755
00:39:14,118 --> 00:39:16,086
That was 13 years ago.
756
00:39:19,156 --> 00:39:24,093
Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert.
Who wants some Arnie Palmies?
757
00:39:25,429 --> 00:39:27,021
Sweetie, this one has the vodky, right here.
758
00:39:27,131 --> 00:39:30,294
- Hal, just place it down, please.
- All righty.
759
00:39:31,135 --> 00:39:32,363
Okay.
760
00:39:36,507 --> 00:39:41,638
I did things in bed with you
that I haven't done with anyone since.
761
00:39:41,712 --> 00:39:43,009
No.
762
00:39:43,114 --> 00:39:45,878
- Christinith, your husband, it's awkward.
- Oh, no, he knows all of this.
763
00:39:45,983 --> 00:39:48,474
- You're a lucky dog.
- It's true.
764
00:39:51,522 --> 00:39:53,387
Christine, this is a lovely house.
765
00:39:53,491 --> 00:39:56,517
It's Christinith.
Are you stupid, or are you deaf?
766
00:39:56,727 --> 00:39:59,321
Christinith, you idiot!
767
00:39:59,663 --> 00:40:04,032
You come to our house,
you get my wife's name right!
768
00:40:04,468 --> 00:40:05,833
- What?
- Christinith!
769
00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:08,667
Look, we really appreciate the hospitality.
770
00:40:09,006 --> 00:40:11,167
We'd just love to get the message off
your cell phone.
771
00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:15,201
We believe it might give us information
regarding a kidnapping.
772
00:40:18,015 --> 00:40:21,786
Okay. Why don't you come to the kitchen,
and I will let you listen to it
773
00:40:21,786 --> 00:40:24,311
and everyone else stay here.
774
00:40:24,722 --> 00:40:27,350
- Okay, sweetie.
- Come on.
775
00:40:31,228 --> 00:40:33,594
- There's my phone.
- Great, thank you for...
776
00:40:37,001 --> 00:40:40,437
I hate you, you son of a bitch!
777
00:40:40,504 --> 00:40:43,905
- You're so strong.
- I'm stronger than you will ever know!
778
00:40:43,974 --> 00:40:47,000
I hate you! I hate you!
779
00:40:47,111 --> 00:40:50,603
You're so adorable.
Look at your face. Look at your face.
780
00:40:50,681 --> 00:40:54,617
You go, "I wuv you."
Say it. "I wuv you, Cwistinith."
781
00:41:00,424 --> 00:41:04,861
You probably think because of the beard
that I'm really hairy.
782
00:41:04,962 --> 00:41:06,930
But I'm not.
783
00:41:08,332 --> 00:41:09,799
Shaved.
784
00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:12,030
- Allen!
- He's fine.
785
00:41:13,003 --> 00:41:14,197
Question.
786
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:16,399
What would you rather be,
787
00:41:17,775 --> 00:41:20,243
a bear or a dog?
788
00:41:20,411 --> 00:41:23,346
- I don't care.
- I wanna be
789
00:41:24,715 --> 00:41:27,275
a bear dog. Half dog, half bear.
790
00:41:27,952 --> 00:41:30,318
'Cause that way, I could live in the house
791
00:41:30,588 --> 00:41:33,557
but I still get to make a doodie
out in the woods.
792
00:41:34,358 --> 00:41:35,586
Allen!
793
00:41:39,864 --> 00:41:41,354
Allen! Allen!
794
00:41:41,432 --> 00:41:44,663
- This is police evidence. Terry! Let's go!
- Hey!
795
00:41:44,735 --> 00:41:47,260
You get back here
and you make love to my wife!
796
00:41:47,371 --> 00:41:48,895
Allen! Allen!
797
00:41:49,740 --> 00:41:53,267
I don't get it, man. I just do not get it.
798
00:41:53,377 --> 00:41:55,607
I mean,
that girl Christinith was seriously hot.
799
00:41:55,713 --> 00:41:57,340
Your wife is crazy hot.
800
00:41:57,414 --> 00:42:00,110
I mean, even that Brazilian security chick,
she threw you a "Do me" vibe.
801
00:42:00,684 --> 00:42:02,151
What is it with you and hot ladies?
802
00:42:02,219 --> 00:42:05,586
First off, my wife is cute, but she's not hot.
803
00:42:05,689 --> 00:42:09,750
Dude, you're insane.
Your wife is scalding hot.
804
00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:12,226
- You wanna listen to this message or not?
- Yeah, whatever.
805
00:42:12,329 --> 00:42:13,296
You have one job, mate.
806
00:42:13,998 --> 00:42:15,989
Find a sucker to invest with you
807
00:42:16,066 --> 00:42:18,034
so you can pay my boss back
the money you lost.
808
00:42:18,102 --> 00:42:19,330
And I don't care who.
809
00:42:19,403 --> 00:42:21,735
Right. I actually think I found a sucker...
810
00:42:21,839 --> 00:42:24,273
- He's talking to Ershon.
...to invest $32 billion.
811
00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:25,933
Who's got $32 billion to rob?
812
00:42:26,043 --> 00:42:28,273
Once I get the money, I'll falsify the records
813
00:42:28,412 --> 00:42:31,176
to show their massive losses
and then repay your employer.
814
00:42:31,248 --> 00:42:34,911
Now, since you're following me,
I need to go to 2300 Park Avenue,
815
00:42:35,019 --> 00:42:36,577
and after that...
816
00:42:36,687 --> 00:42:38,450
I told you it wasn't a security team.
817
00:42:38,756 --> 00:42:41,919
- He was being abducted.
- Obviously, but what kind... Holy...
818
00:42:42,026 --> 00:42:43,550
Nobody leaves our house
without making love to my wife!
819
00:42:43,627 --> 00:42:44,787
- Is that him?
- Yeah!
820
00:42:44,895 --> 00:42:46,692
Oh, my God, they came out of nowhere!
821
00:42:46,764 --> 00:42:48,595
- Holy shit!
- They chased us 20 miles.
822
00:42:48,699 --> 00:42:50,894
- You come back here! You get back here!
- Allen!
823
00:42:58,642 --> 00:43:02,237
2300 Park Avenue.
It's the offices of the lottery.
824
00:43:03,380 --> 00:43:05,075
Holy shit, the lottery tickets we found.
825
00:43:05,449 --> 00:43:07,883
Ershon is using the lottery money
to cover his losses.
826
00:43:07,952 --> 00:43:10,785
$32 billion. That's the state's money.
827
00:43:10,888 --> 00:43:13,083
Well, what do we tell Mauch?
A guy lost some money.
828
00:43:13,157 --> 00:43:16,649
We have a scratchy cell phone message
and an address. It's still half a case.
829
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:20,719
There's gotta be some sort of paper trail.
If we can find that, if we can track it,
830
00:43:20,798 --> 00:43:21,992
then we can go to Mauch.
831
00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:26,759
So, I did some more research
on Ershon's accounting firm,
832
00:43:26,837 --> 00:43:28,566
and I found some pretty interesting stuff.
833
00:43:28,639 --> 00:43:31,802
It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has...
834
00:43:33,243 --> 00:43:34,938
Hold on, I'm up.
835
00:43:36,246 --> 00:43:39,306
I gave my love to Erin
836
00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:43,947
She promised to be true
837
00:43:44,488 --> 00:43:48,481
I went to war to come back
838
00:43:48,592 --> 00:43:52,528
And find five British soldiers
839
00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:55,827
Had their way with her
840
00:43:56,000 --> 00:44:00,369
It was consensual
841
00:44:01,105 --> 00:44:02,163
Done?
842
00:44:02,272 --> 00:44:05,207
Gretchel and Dawson Accounting Firm
in Fair Lawn, New Jersey
843
00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:08,369
has only one client, David Ershon.
844
00:44:08,479 --> 00:44:11,004
Pretty rinky-dink operation
for a guy like that.
845
00:44:11,115 --> 00:44:13,811
Looks like we're going to Jersey
to visit an accounting firm.
846
00:44:13,884 --> 00:44:16,648
That's a shitty day.
847
00:44:17,888 --> 00:44:21,949
And all their fathers were hanged
848
00:44:22,026 --> 00:44:25,484
And the children all got pink eye
849
00:44:27,564 --> 00:44:34,402
While their Harry Potter books were burned
850
00:44:40,044 --> 00:44:42,478
Do you have fun singing those songs?
They're really depressing.
851
00:44:42,546 --> 00:44:44,980
I do. They're full of rich history.
852
00:44:46,183 --> 00:44:48,174
Damn it, I'm late.
I was supposed to go meet my lady.
853
00:44:48,252 --> 00:44:50,652
I thought you said you guys split up.
854
00:44:50,721 --> 00:44:53,246
Let's just keep our thing about work, okay?
855
00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:54,915
All right. Goodbye, buddy.
856
00:44:55,025 --> 00:44:57,016
Hey, get off me, man.
857
00:45:15,612 --> 00:45:18,342
What the hell are you doing?
858
00:45:18,415 --> 00:45:21,009
I'm dancing, Terry.
What the hell are you doing here?
859
00:45:21,085 --> 00:45:23,246
I love you, Francine.
860
00:45:23,353 --> 00:45:26,584
If you were with me, you wouldn't be here
in this strip club, shaking it for dollar bills!
861
00:45:26,690 --> 00:45:31,718
This is a ballet studio, Terry.
Okay? These poles are horizontal.
862
00:45:31,795 --> 00:45:33,854
He loves you very much, Francine.
863
00:45:33,931 --> 00:45:36,399
- Who is this guy?
- What are you doing here, Allen?
864
00:45:36,467 --> 00:45:38,094
It's the code. I'm your partner.
865
00:45:38,302 --> 00:45:41,362
I'm here to support a friend
and a work colleague.
866
00:45:41,438 --> 00:45:42,928
Francine, is this guy bothering you?
867
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,907
Who's this, your new boyfriend?
Great. You got a new boyfriend.
868
00:45:45,976 --> 00:45:49,412
He is my dance partner, Terry. Okay?
869
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,277
I know that this is a big surprise,
870
00:45:51,381 --> 00:45:54,214
but there are other things in the world
besides being a cop. Okay?
871
00:45:54,885 --> 00:45:57,752
Now, if you will excuse me, I'm gonna dance.
872
00:45:57,821 --> 00:45:59,618
What, you don't think I can do this shit?
873
00:46:16,140 --> 00:46:18,335
That was surprisingly good, Terry.
874
00:46:18,642 --> 00:46:21,338
- I love you, Francine.
- You don't know what love is.
875
00:46:21,445 --> 00:46:23,379
He loves you very much, Francine!
876
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:25,380
I heard it when he said it. Thank you.
877
00:46:25,482 --> 00:46:27,677
You know what you're doing to me?
You're killing me inside.
878
00:46:27,785 --> 00:46:28,877
And don't eyeball me, man!
879
00:46:28,986 --> 00:46:30,954
You're running around
with this crack-dealing drug addict?
880
00:46:31,021 --> 00:46:32,113
Terry!
881
00:46:32,189 --> 00:46:33,884
He does not approve of your behavior!
882
00:46:33,991 --> 00:46:35,959
Can you please go?
883
00:46:36,026 --> 00:46:38,324
And you, too,
creepy guy standing in the door?
884
00:46:42,466 --> 00:46:43,660
Let's go, Allen.
885
00:46:44,134 --> 00:46:46,694
I think we all experienced
our own ballet today.
886
00:46:47,037 --> 00:46:48,834
The ballet of emotion and feelings.
887
00:46:49,306 --> 00:46:50,864
You're kind of making things worse.
888
00:47:00,484 --> 00:47:03,317
- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
889
00:47:04,755 --> 00:47:07,246
Hey, I didn't know you could dance.
890
00:47:08,192 --> 00:47:10,660
We used to do those dance moves
to make fun of guys when we were kids,
891
00:47:10,727 --> 00:47:12,092
show them how queer they were, okay?
892
00:47:14,031 --> 00:47:17,023
- You learned to dance like that sarcastically?
- Yeah, I guess.
893
00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:20,661
Stay out of my personal life, okay?
The kid flies private.
894
00:47:20,737 --> 00:47:23,900
Stay focused on the case, man.
I'll see you in Jersey tomorrow.
895
00:47:24,341 --> 00:47:25,899
All right, Terry.
896
00:47:26,443 --> 00:47:30,038
Hey, that was liberating for me.
I don't know how it felt for you.
897
00:47:52,569 --> 00:47:55,936
Here, check this out.
Article from six months ago.
898
00:47:56,039 --> 00:47:57,597
Talking about how the lottery is looking
899
00:47:57,708 --> 00:48:00,108
to invest their $30-billion fund
more aggressively.
900
00:48:00,811 --> 00:48:01,937
So he's dealing drugs?
901
00:48:02,312 --> 00:48:06,112
No, it's not drugs. This isn't Miami Vice.
902
00:48:09,219 --> 00:48:11,050
Look, I'm sorry. I just...
903
00:48:11,755 --> 00:48:16,454
I am in a bit of a state today.
Sheila and I got into it last night.
904
00:48:16,994 --> 00:48:18,359
What happened?
905
00:48:20,264 --> 00:48:23,062
She was interested in taking this class
at The Learning Annex, right?
906
00:48:23,700 --> 00:48:25,634
Called "The Art of Oral Sex"?
907
00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:28,599
You know, we just don't have it
in the budget right now.
908
00:48:29,206 --> 00:48:31,174
It's always about her.
909
00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:33,543
Yeah, that's... That's messed up.
910
00:48:35,279 --> 00:48:36,439
Hey, I got you a gift.
911
00:48:37,281 --> 00:48:41,047
I just saw something, and I thought of you,
and so, I don't want it to be weird.
912
00:48:41,118 --> 00:48:42,244
I just wanted to be nice.
913
00:48:42,352 --> 00:48:43,683
Of course it's weird.
914
00:48:43,754 --> 00:48:45,585
It's a grown man
giving another man a present.
915
00:48:47,257 --> 00:48:49,589
There you go. Open it up.
916
00:48:50,193 --> 00:48:52,093
It's okay, you're welcome.
917
00:48:52,629 --> 00:48:54,597
I like to do things like that.
918
00:48:54,731 --> 00:48:56,790
Take a look what it says.
919
00:49:05,642 --> 00:49:08,110
You know,
because we're both in law enforcement.
920
00:49:08,211 --> 00:49:09,769
We both like women.
921
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,872
But I got a weird sense of humor.
I'm a sick puppy.
922
00:49:13,216 --> 00:49:15,377
I can't look at it. It makes me laugh so hard.
923
00:49:15,452 --> 00:49:16,749
Me, too.
924
00:49:20,157 --> 00:49:23,320
Real nice. You know, it's all class.
925
00:49:25,562 --> 00:49:26,961
- Okay.
- Don't do that shit any more.
926
00:49:27,064 --> 00:49:28,429
Yeah, believe me, I won't.
927
00:49:29,066 --> 00:49:31,364
Do you understand
what's so funny about it, though?
928
00:49:32,936 --> 00:49:36,531
'Cause it's the FBI, right?
It has the same logo, the same shield.
929
00:49:36,606 --> 00:49:39,439
And at first glance, you're like,
it's just a mug that says "FBI."
930
00:49:40,010 --> 00:49:44,674
But then at second glance,
you're like, "Female Body Inspector"?
931
00:49:44,748 --> 00:49:46,909
Get out of town. This is outrageous...
932
00:49:47,017 --> 00:49:48,279
Shut up!
933
00:50:00,797 --> 00:50:03,027
I'm gonna climb over
that anger wall of yours
934
00:50:03,100 --> 00:50:04,192
one of these days,
935
00:50:04,267 --> 00:50:06,428
and it's gonna be glorious.
936
00:50:09,973 --> 00:50:12,635
Shouldn't we tell Mauch that
we're going to check this place out?
937
00:50:12,743 --> 00:50:14,011
For what? We're just going to check it out.
938
00:50:14,011 --> 00:50:15,876
I know, but it's procedure.
939
00:50:16,947 --> 00:50:19,074
Terry answers to no one.
940
00:50:19,750 --> 00:50:21,911
I do what I do.
941
00:50:22,953 --> 00:50:25,421
What accounting firm is closed at 11:00 a.m.
On a Tuesday?
942
00:50:25,489 --> 00:50:26,751
This is a shithole.
943
00:50:34,431 --> 00:50:35,489
I love bombs.
944
00:50:35,599 --> 00:50:38,762
I can't hear! I can't hear!
945
00:50:40,237 --> 00:50:42,228
There's blood blisters on my hands!
946
00:50:42,305 --> 00:50:43,397
Oh, my God!
947
00:50:43,473 --> 00:50:45,771
How do they walk away in movies
without flinching
948
00:50:45,842 --> 00:50:47,571
when it explodes behind them?
949
00:50:47,644 --> 00:50:50,909
There's no way! I call bullshit on that!
950
00:50:51,248 --> 00:50:54,581
When they flew the Millennium Falcon
outside of the Death Star,
951
00:50:54,651 --> 00:50:58,644
and it was followed by the explosion,
that was bullshit!
952
00:50:58,755 --> 00:51:02,020
Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars!
That was all accurate!
953
00:51:02,125 --> 00:51:04,093
I need an MRI.
954
00:51:04,161 --> 00:51:08,461
I need an MRI! I've got soft tissue damage.
955
00:51:08,932 --> 00:51:10,957
There's no way
I don't have soft tissue damage.
956
00:51:11,034 --> 00:51:12,126
Please stop.
957
00:51:12,202 --> 00:51:13,931
I just wanna go somewhere
and breastfeed right now!
958
00:51:18,108 --> 00:51:22,477
Fire Department said it was a gas leak,
but no way. That was timed.
959
00:51:22,546 --> 00:51:24,343
They didn't wanna kill us,
but they wanted to scare us.
960
00:51:24,448 --> 00:51:26,939
Yeah, well, they succeeded, okay?
961
00:51:27,017 --> 00:51:29,645
I'm tired of this. All right?
962
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:32,279
I'm tired of explosions
and people pointing guns at me.
963
00:51:32,355 --> 00:51:34,482
I wanna go back to my desk.
964
00:51:34,558 --> 00:51:38,050
Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes
and messes with your ears.
965
00:51:38,161 --> 00:51:40,629
You can't escape it by hiding
at your desk for your whole life.
966
00:51:40,697 --> 00:51:43,461
You know what? Yes, you can.
I've done it for years, okay?
967
00:51:43,533 --> 00:51:46,468
There's no explosions at my desk.
968
00:51:46,536 --> 00:51:51,473
There's no explosions at my home
with my plain wife, in my plain house.
969
00:51:53,810 --> 00:51:55,539
What are you afraid of, man?
970
00:51:56,680 --> 00:52:01,174
I'm your partner. You can tell me.
What the hell are you hiding from?
971
00:52:01,918 --> 00:52:04,284
I was a sophomore in college.
972
00:52:05,689 --> 00:52:09,750
The university I went to
decided they needed to raise tuition.
973
00:52:10,894 --> 00:52:16,730
A classmate of mine, Brenda, in an effort
to raise money and stay in school,
974
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,768
came up with a nifty plan
975
00:52:18,869 --> 00:52:21,303
where she thought she'd date guys
and charge them money.
976
00:52:21,471 --> 00:52:23,063
I go on dates all the time,
977
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:25,267
with a whole bunch of,
you know, boys and stuff.
978
00:52:25,375 --> 00:52:28,708
And I kind of need somebody to help me out,
like, you know, my partner in crime.
979
00:52:29,279 --> 00:52:31,543
Yeah, I could make a schedule.
980
00:52:31,615 --> 00:52:33,207
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's what I was thinking.
981
00:52:33,283 --> 00:52:35,808
- Provide transportation services.
- Yeah, yeah.
982
00:52:35,919 --> 00:52:38,046
- It's gonna be a good time.
- Thanks so much for asking me.
983
00:52:38,121 --> 00:52:40,589
She said she needed my help to make sure
that the dates went okay
984
00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:44,115
and that the guys paid her.
She said she'd give me a percentage.
985
00:52:44,227 --> 00:52:47,492
- Oh, my God. You were a pimp.
- What? God, no.
986
00:52:47,597 --> 00:52:49,656
No, I was just trying to help a friend.
987
00:52:49,766 --> 00:52:52,326
We started making a lot of money.
988
00:52:53,336 --> 00:52:56,237
And wouldn't you know it,
some of Brenda's girlfriends
989
00:52:56,306 --> 00:52:59,002
decided they wanted to be a part of it.
990
00:52:59,109 --> 00:53:01,771
Pretty soon, there were about 14 ladies
that I was protecting
991
00:53:01,845 --> 00:53:03,472
while they gave me money.
992
00:53:03,580 --> 00:53:05,104
That's called a stable of whores.
993
00:53:06,016 --> 00:53:10,953
We decided I shouldn't use my real name.
So we came up with the name "Gator."
994
00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:12,655
I'm telling you, you were a pimp.
995
00:53:12,756 --> 00:53:15,350
No! Are you even listening to the story?
996
00:53:18,161 --> 00:53:20,254
Anyway, one day,
I wake up and I look in the mirror,
997
00:53:20,330 --> 00:53:22,594
and I don't like what I see.
998
00:53:23,833 --> 00:53:27,360
I mean, I had gotten out of control,
and I didn't even realize it.
999
00:53:28,171 --> 00:53:30,503
You can't have a conscience
in the pimp game.
1000
00:53:31,274 --> 00:53:33,003
One night, two of my favorite girls,
1001
00:53:33,109 --> 00:53:35,304
Candy and Jolene, said,
"We gotta take you in,"
1002
00:53:35,378 --> 00:53:37,676
and they dropped me off
at the emergency room.
1003
00:53:37,781 --> 00:53:39,681
That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess.
1004
00:53:39,783 --> 00:53:44,982
I made a promise to myself and to her
that I would never get out of control again.
1005
00:53:45,822 --> 00:53:47,187
So, as soon as I graduated from college,
1006
00:53:47,290 --> 00:53:50,191
I became an accountant
for the police department.
1007
00:53:50,827 --> 00:53:53,523
The most stable job I could think of.
1008
00:53:55,131 --> 00:53:57,531
An accountant for law and order.
1009
00:53:59,836 --> 00:54:03,897
I just don't wanna ever feel out of control
like that ever again.
1010
00:54:04,007 --> 00:54:06,703
Don't worry. I got your back.
1011
00:54:06,810 --> 00:54:09,210
Now I say we go get in Ershon's grill
and see if he cracks.
1012
00:54:09,312 --> 00:54:13,078
- I'm tired of all this tippy-toeing around.
- Okay.
1013
00:54:13,416 --> 00:54:16,146
You can either walk the plank
or take your panties off.
1014
00:54:16,219 --> 00:54:17,846
The choice is yours.
1015
00:54:17,921 --> 00:54:22,187
- I want to take my panties off.
- You've made a wise choice, you have.
1016
00:54:22,259 --> 00:54:27,060
Mr. Ershon, Detective Gamble and the officer
who shot Derek Jeter are here.
1017
00:54:27,597 --> 00:54:28,859
Gentlemen, please.
1018
00:54:28,932 --> 00:54:32,231
- Remember us, hotshot?
- Of course I do. Please, sit.
1019
00:54:32,335 --> 00:54:33,996
There she blows.
1020
00:54:36,406 --> 00:54:39,671
Two of those Russian waters, please.
No lime wedges, just cucumber.
1021
00:54:39,743 --> 00:54:42,871
Guess where we just came from?
An explosion at your accounting office.
1022
00:54:43,213 --> 00:54:45,443
Yes, that awful gas leak.
1023
00:54:45,548 --> 00:54:49,450
Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one
coming out of your mouth right now.
1024
00:54:49,552 --> 00:54:54,580
I just thank God
no one was hurt or injured in a bad way.
1025
00:54:54,691 --> 00:54:57,387
I absolutely abhor death.
1026
00:54:57,627 --> 00:55:01,085
Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber.
The jig is up, okay?
1027
00:55:01,231 --> 00:55:03,062
We know that wasn't your security team
that grabbed you.
1028
00:55:03,133 --> 00:55:05,465
And we know you're targeting a big fish
to cover losses.
1029
00:55:05,568 --> 00:55:07,900
You talk or I beat you
so it don't show no bruises.
1030
00:55:08,271 --> 00:55:11,035
God, this water is good.
Terry, have you tried the water?
1031
00:55:11,107 --> 00:55:12,597
Shut up, Allen.
1032
00:55:12,709 --> 00:55:15,974
I assure you,
I have no idea what you're talking about.
1033
00:55:16,079 --> 00:55:19,981
I understand there was a bit of a mix-up
with the whole scaffolding business.
1034
00:55:20,083 --> 00:55:25,487
The cucumber accents the water
in such a way that...
1035
00:55:26,656 --> 00:55:31,389
Perhaps by way of apology,
I can offer you my personal courtside seats
1036
00:55:31,461 --> 00:55:35,625
for the Knicks game,
with access to the Ambassador Club.
1037
00:55:38,001 --> 00:55:43,132
Come on, Knicks! Come on!
I got Knicks' fever and it's catching!
1038
00:55:44,474 --> 00:55:48,501
Hey. This feels weird sitting here.
It feels like it's a bribe.
1039
00:55:48,611 --> 00:55:53,139
It is a bribe. Son-of-a-bitch,
I saw courtside and I went blind.
1040
00:55:53,249 --> 00:55:54,511
Come on.
1041
00:55:55,352 --> 00:55:56,683
Call me!
1042
00:55:58,154 --> 00:55:59,951
- Excuse me.
- That was a trick.
1043
00:56:00,023 --> 00:56:01,422
No more.
1044
00:56:01,491 --> 00:56:06,861
Gentlemen, you have a choice.
Mamma Mia or Jersey Boys.
1045
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,260
Fantastic! You're so unbelievable!
1046
00:56:17,774 --> 00:56:19,674
Damn it. He did it again.
1047
00:56:20,643 --> 00:56:22,941
- Excuse me.
- No more tickets.
1048
00:56:23,012 --> 00:56:24,946
Mr. Ershon,
I tried to keep them in the waiting room.
1049
00:56:25,014 --> 00:56:28,279
That's okay, Susan. Two Glacier waters
with Mediterranean limes.
1050
00:56:28,351 --> 00:56:30,216
No, no, no. No more water.
We're not here for that.
1051
00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:32,345
No, I was very much looking forward
to having a water.
1052
00:56:32,455 --> 00:56:36,892
- How great is Jersey Boys?
- It's not great. It's fantastic!
1053
00:56:36,993 --> 00:56:40,326
You totally undersold it.
The pageantry, the costumes.
1054
00:56:40,397 --> 00:56:42,024
Wow, what a musical.
1055
00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:43,997
Hey. Get over here.
1056
00:56:45,135 --> 00:56:46,295
- What's wrong with you?
- What?
1057
00:56:46,369 --> 00:56:47,859
That's not what we're here for.
1058
00:56:48,805 --> 00:56:50,864
We're gonna do good cop, bad cop. Okay?
1059
00:56:51,174 --> 00:56:54,200
It's the oldest game in the book for a reason,
it works.
1060
00:56:54,310 --> 00:56:55,641
I come strong, then you come in.
1061
00:56:55,712 --> 00:56:56,804
- You got it?
- Yeah.
1062
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,542
- I come strong, then you come in.
- Right. Got it.
1063
00:56:59,649 --> 00:57:01,549
Now you listen to me, you piece of shit.
1064
00:57:01,818 --> 00:57:04,378
It's just you and me,
and I'm gonna rip you apart!
1065
00:57:04,487 --> 00:57:08,685
How did you cover your losses up?
What drug cartel are you working with now?
1066
00:57:08,758 --> 00:57:12,694
- Okay, I'll talk to you, you're reasonable!
- No, no, look at me!
1067
00:57:12,762 --> 00:57:15,230
You wanna talk to me?
You wanna talk to me?
1068
00:57:15,331 --> 00:57:18,823
Allen, what are you doing?
What are you doing? Allen!
1069
00:57:19,669 --> 00:57:21,899
I'm gonna make you eat
a plate of human shit!
1070
00:57:22,572 --> 00:57:24,369
Get away from me!
1071
00:57:29,078 --> 00:57:30,545
Where is he?
1072
00:57:32,582 --> 00:57:35,176
Look, I'm really sorry about that.
1073
00:57:36,019 --> 00:57:38,544
I saw how aggressive you were being,
and I thought,
1074
00:57:38,621 --> 00:57:42,250
"Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that,
since we're doing bad cop, bad cop."
1075
00:57:42,358 --> 00:57:47,421
What? No, I said, "Good cop, bad cop."
I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop.
1076
00:57:47,530 --> 00:57:51,933
Okay, then there it is. That's it.
I thought you said, "Bad cop, bad cop."
1077
00:57:52,268 --> 00:57:55,704
Well, while you were going crazy,
look what I snagged from his desk.
1078
00:57:55,772 --> 00:57:57,865
- Think it's his phone sheet.
- Nice.
1079
00:57:58,208 --> 00:57:59,903
Seven calls to the lottery office.
1080
00:58:00,243 --> 00:58:01,767
That could be the evidence
we need for Mauch.
1081
00:58:04,547 --> 00:58:07,414
- Get back. Colombian drug lords.
- Where are you getting that from?
1082
00:58:09,219 --> 00:58:10,413
Jesus!
1083
00:58:19,229 --> 00:58:21,663
Can you imagine where you'd be
in your career if you hadn't shot Jeter?
1084
00:58:29,472 --> 00:58:32,805
- We call this in, right?
- Looks like we got all the evidence we need.
1085
00:58:32,909 --> 00:58:34,968
I'm sorry, my butterfly.
1086
00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:39,281
We'll load them up, send them back to go.
1087
00:58:48,024 --> 00:58:51,323
- Holy shit.
- What?
1088
00:58:51,427 --> 00:58:54,123
What do you mean, what? Where are we?
1089
00:58:55,498 --> 00:58:56,931
We're in the high desert.
1090
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,766
They took my shoes again, man!
What the hell is it with taking shoes?
1091
00:59:00,837 --> 00:59:02,361
- They took your wooden gun?
- Yeah.
1092
00:59:08,945 --> 00:59:11,175
- Hello?
- Hello, Gene? I mean, Captain.
1093
00:59:11,281 --> 00:59:12,680
Captain, it's Allen Gamble.
1094
00:59:12,782 --> 00:59:14,613
Yeah, yeah. Where are you?
What's going on?
1095
00:59:14,684 --> 00:59:16,982
Captain, it's a long story,
but I'm just gonna cut to the chase.
1096
00:59:17,053 --> 00:59:19,021
We are in Las Vegas, all right?
1097
00:59:19,122 --> 00:59:22,489
We were kidnapped, put on a freight train,
and shipped out here.
1098
00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:24,993
Let me just stop you right there.
Don't bullshit me.
1099
00:59:25,061 --> 00:59:26,460
Captain, I am being straight with you.
1100
00:59:26,529 --> 00:59:28,861
Look, we think something's going on, okay?
1101
00:59:28,965 --> 00:59:31,832
We think Ershon is targeting the lottery
to cover his losses.
1102
00:59:31,901 --> 00:59:37,339
Wait. How many times
did I explicitly say to you, "Lay off Ershon"?
1103
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:39,137
Terry, Captain wants to know
1104
00:59:39,208 --> 00:59:41,142
how many times
has he asked us to lay off of Ershon.
1105
00:59:41,210 --> 00:59:42,302
Twice.
1106
00:59:43,146 --> 00:59:44,909
Twice. Terry says twice. I agree.
1107
00:59:45,014 --> 00:59:47,073
I'm hanging up. I'm done.
1108
00:59:51,354 --> 00:59:55,882
I gotta tell you, I started getting a hand
for that, a taste for that Pai Gow.
1109
00:59:56,593 --> 01:00:01,189
Martin and Fosse, super cops,
in three, two...
1110
01:00:01,264 --> 01:00:07,169
So, we busted that junkie.
Got back 74 thou in diamonds. 74 thou.
1111
01:00:08,271 --> 01:00:09,704
Solved the Castien case.
1112
01:00:09,772 --> 01:00:12,570
$74,000? That's all they took?
1113
01:00:12,675 --> 01:00:14,905
There's millions of dollars of diamonds
in that place.
1114
01:00:15,011 --> 01:00:17,172
How about this, Gamble?
How about you shut your face?
1115
01:00:17,246 --> 01:00:18,838
All right? Just shut it.
1116
01:00:18,915 --> 01:00:20,542
Hoitz, Gamble, Captain's looking for you.
1117
01:00:23,519 --> 01:00:25,749
I know it's off the subject,
but is Kevlar copyrighted?
1118
01:00:25,855 --> 01:00:27,117
- Captain?
- Yeah.
1119
01:00:27,223 --> 01:00:29,714
- Is it a bad time?
- No, come on. Come on.
1120
01:00:30,093 --> 01:00:31,924
- Not me, right?
- Yeah, and you.
1121
01:00:32,028 --> 01:00:35,725
Fellows, I'm sure you're familiar with
the venerable DA Radford.
1122
01:00:35,798 --> 01:00:37,459
He wanted to come down and pay us a visit.
1123
01:00:37,567 --> 01:00:38,795
Hello, gentlemen.
1124
01:00:38,901 --> 01:00:40,027
- Hello, sir.
- Hey.
1125
01:00:40,103 --> 01:00:43,470
- You know, I was talking to Gene here.
- He prefers "Captain."
1126
01:00:43,573 --> 01:00:47,065
Yes, I was talking to Gene here,
and, you know, it's funny.
1127
01:00:47,377 --> 01:00:49,607
I don't know what you two have been up to,
1128
01:00:49,712 --> 01:00:53,079
but I've been getting calls
from people I don't ever get calls from.
1129
01:00:53,149 --> 01:00:56,084
In 40 years of enforcing the law,
I've learned one thing.
1130
01:00:56,719 --> 01:00:58,414
When that happens, stop.
1131
01:00:59,989 --> 01:01:03,083
- Gene, how's the family?
- Good, good, Louis, thanks for asking.
1132
01:01:03,159 --> 01:01:05,150
- My son's bisexual, so...
- Tremendous.
1133
01:01:07,964 --> 01:01:09,488
Gentlemen, do we understand each other?
1134
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:12,961
- Cut the crap!
- Will do.
1135
01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:18,773
Guy never comes down here.
1136
01:01:18,841 --> 01:01:21,674
Twenty years, I think I've seen that guy
in this building one time.
1137
01:01:21,778 --> 01:01:24,941
- He's a heavyweight cat, that guy.
- He was sitting right here.
1138
01:01:25,348 --> 01:01:28,784
Yeah. I think you missed the point.
Anyway, look.
1139
01:01:28,851 --> 01:01:32,287
Blue and white found your firearms down
by the Hudson River. Here you go, Terry.
1140
01:01:33,956 --> 01:01:35,446
You know what?
1141
01:01:36,125 --> 01:01:38,093
I'm gonna hang on to the wooden gun.
1142
01:01:38,161 --> 01:01:40,026
- To give me back my real gun?
- No.
1143
01:01:40,129 --> 01:01:42,188
'Cause I'm gonna give you this.
1144
01:01:42,932 --> 01:01:46,095
It's a rape whistle.
You blow that if you run into any trouble
1145
01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,263
and someone with an actual gun
will come and help you out.
1146
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:55,304
We were abducted, Captain! This shit is real!
Ershon's dirty. He's targeting the lottery!
1147
01:01:55,378 --> 01:02:00,281
Next, I want you guys to hand in all
the evidence you think you have to the SEC.
1148
01:02:00,349 --> 01:02:02,180
The financial district's
under their jurisdiction.
1149
01:02:02,285 --> 01:02:04,753
Don't you get it? This case is talking to us!
1150
01:02:04,821 --> 01:02:07,949
I'm a peacock, Captain!
You gotta let me fly on this one!
1151
01:02:08,024 --> 01:02:10,925
You know what, Terry? Let's just settle this.
Peacocks don't fly.
1152
01:02:10,993 --> 01:02:14,451
- They fly, they fly a little bit.
- Yeah, about as much as a penguin.
1153
01:02:14,530 --> 01:02:18,159
One more thing, do me a favor,
don't go chasing waterfalls.
1154
01:02:18,868 --> 01:02:21,428
Was that accidental, or were you trying
to quote TLC on purpose?
1155
01:02:22,271 --> 01:02:23,329
I don't even understand the reference.
1156
01:02:23,873 --> 01:02:26,000
- You don't understand what you said?
- I don't know what that is.
1157
01:02:26,109 --> 01:02:27,542
Get out. Go.
1158
01:02:38,287 --> 01:02:40,517
How did they get that story?
1159
01:02:42,058 --> 01:02:45,027
I'm tired of being treated like a jerk
for trying to do the right thing.
1160
01:02:45,128 --> 01:02:46,186
Hey, guys.
1161
01:02:46,562 --> 01:02:50,464
There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment
of the pension coming up,
1162
01:02:50,533 --> 01:02:53,400
- so if you just wanna come by the old...
- Damn it, Bob!
1163
01:02:53,503 --> 01:02:54,561
Let me ask you something.
1164
01:02:54,670 --> 01:02:57,070
What do you even do around here
besides interrupt people?
1165
01:02:57,774 --> 01:03:00,174
Well, I serve as treasurer to the union.
1166
01:03:00,243 --> 01:03:03,076
I make a wicked pot of decaf.
1167
01:03:03,179 --> 01:03:06,410
Exactly! You're a worthless piece of shit!
1168
01:03:08,351 --> 01:03:11,878
Probably right, Terry.
That's why I feel so sad all the time.
1169
01:03:12,789 --> 01:03:14,586
I'm gonna go for a walk.
1170
01:03:14,690 --> 01:03:15,952
- Bob!
- Say something.
1171
01:03:16,058 --> 01:03:17,923
Come on! Bob!
1172
01:03:18,027 --> 01:03:20,928
I didn't mean it, all right? I'm upset.
1173
01:03:38,748 --> 01:03:43,845
Actually, we don't do that here.
This is an installation art piece.
1174
01:03:44,220 --> 01:03:46,313
- This coffee table?
- Yes. We don't put drinks on it.
1175
01:03:50,092 --> 01:03:52,754
- Five hundred thousand?
- He can read! Congratulations.
1176
01:03:53,229 --> 01:03:55,390
- What?
- I'm sorry, are you in the right place?
1177
01:03:55,464 --> 01:03:57,762
Or not? I'm...
1178
01:03:58,968 --> 01:04:00,162
- Terry.
- Does he... Okay.
1179
01:04:00,236 --> 01:04:03,501
- Well...
- Sorry. Terry! What are you doing here?
1180
01:04:04,740 --> 01:04:09,109
- I want to be with you.
- No, Terry, that's not gonna happen.
1181
01:04:09,478 --> 01:04:12,106
You know where you belong.
On top of me in the Poconos.
1182
01:04:12,949 --> 01:04:14,974
Instead, you're here
selling dirty coffee tables?
1183
01:04:15,151 --> 01:04:16,709
I mean, look at this. This is nonsense!
1184
01:04:16,786 --> 01:04:19,220
Terry, this is an original Haverfield-Jameson.
1185
01:04:19,589 --> 01:04:23,787
The chaos of the coffee table?
It represents our fractured egos.
1186
01:04:24,260 --> 01:04:26,251
You think I don't know
about this artsy-fartsy crap?
1187
01:04:26,629 --> 01:04:31,089
This coffee table isn't the ego. It represents
our shattered sense of community
1188
01:04:31,434 --> 01:04:33,197
in the face of capitalist-driven isolation.
1189
01:04:33,502 --> 01:04:36,062
Looks like the work of Cindy Sherman
or Frank Stella.
1190
01:04:36,739 --> 01:04:38,036
How did you know that, Terry?
1191
01:04:38,507 --> 01:04:39,906
I took some classes at RISD
1192
01:04:39,976 --> 01:04:42,308
so I could make fun of these lame artsy
douches in my neighborhood.
1193
01:04:42,378 --> 01:04:44,778
- Terry, lower your voice!
- I don't have to lower my voice.
1194
01:04:44,847 --> 01:04:47,645
- Is this man bothering you?
- Are you actually having sex with this creep?
1195
01:04:47,984 --> 01:04:49,815
Terry, he's gay. Okay?
1196
01:04:51,087 --> 01:04:53,749
He's even wearing a T-shirt that says,
"I'm gay"!
1197
01:04:54,023 --> 01:04:55,888
All right? And also, he is my boss.
1198
01:04:56,225 --> 01:04:57,385
Happy for you, man. Good.
1199
01:04:57,460 --> 01:04:59,325
Can you get out of here now?
I'm talking to my lady.
1200
01:04:59,528 --> 01:05:02,861
Mr. Reger, everything is fine.
Terry is actually leaving now.
1201
01:05:03,299 --> 01:05:05,358
Nice toot, sailor. Jesus.
1202
01:05:06,602 --> 01:05:08,536
Terry, what are you doing?
1203
01:05:09,038 --> 01:05:12,439
Look, I waited three years
for you to be more than a cop, okay?
1204
01:05:12,775 --> 01:05:14,003
Just give me one more year.
1205
01:05:14,443 --> 01:05:16,843
Terry, you don't get another year. I'm done.
1206
01:05:17,346 --> 01:05:18,404
Fine.
1207
01:05:18,881 --> 01:05:22,078
- Terry, don't touch that! Terry!
- Oh, my God!
1208
01:05:22,418 --> 01:05:24,352
I don't need this shit. I don't need you!
1209
01:05:25,354 --> 01:05:27,447
And when you call me, I'm not coming back!
1210
01:05:28,724 --> 01:05:31,784
- Oh, boy! Over the top!
- How outré!
1211
01:05:32,161 --> 01:05:34,288
I'll burn this bitch down to the ground!
1212
01:05:35,564 --> 01:05:37,896
- Fresh! Energetic!
- I love his rawness!
1213
01:05:38,301 --> 01:05:41,828
Stop critiquing me, okay?
I'm a human being! I'm not a piece of art!
1214
01:05:42,138 --> 01:05:43,969
- Yes, you are.
- Bravo!
1215
01:05:44,307 --> 01:05:47,003
I'm a peacock flying into a rainbow!
1216
01:05:47,677 --> 01:05:49,770
Yes! Yes!
1217
01:05:59,388 --> 01:06:01,982
These braised short ribs taste
like a dog's asshole.
1218
01:06:02,091 --> 01:06:03,786
- Sweetie.
- You know what, I'm sitting here thinking,
1219
01:06:03,893 --> 01:06:07,056
"Who in the world would slow roast
a dog's asshole
1220
01:06:07,129 --> 01:06:09,097
"and serve it to their husband?"
1221
01:06:09,165 --> 01:06:12,601
- You would.
- You are being awful. What's wrong?
1222
01:06:12,668 --> 01:06:17,401
- Captain took us off the case.
- I'm sorry.
1223
01:06:18,307 --> 01:06:23,142
I told Terry about my dark days in college,
and it brought up some feelings.
1224
01:06:23,546 --> 01:06:28,779
Well, honeydick, that was a long time ago.
You're not that same person you were.
1225
01:06:28,884 --> 01:06:32,320
No, you don't get it.
There is a darkness inside of me.
1226
01:06:32,421 --> 01:06:35,413
It wants to get out. It wants to walk around.
1227
01:06:35,491 --> 01:06:38,619
It wants some walking around money,
and it wants to buy some shoes.
1228
01:06:38,728 --> 01:06:43,256
And it wants to walk up with the people
and say, "Hey, Gator don't play no shit."
1229
01:06:43,599 --> 01:06:44,964
- You feel me?
- Yeah.
1230
01:06:45,067 --> 01:06:49,128
Gator never been about that,
never been about playing no shit.
1231
01:06:52,174 --> 01:06:54,165
- Sweetie, I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
1232
01:06:54,810 --> 01:06:58,177
- I just...
- Remember that night we met?
1233
01:06:58,948 --> 01:07:03,612
The attending physician told me,
"We got a drugged-out pimp in the back."
1234
01:07:04,353 --> 01:07:07,789
And I went back there,
and I pulled open that curtain,
1235
01:07:07,857 --> 01:07:09,415
and I saw you.
1236
01:07:10,159 --> 01:07:12,491
You were weak, scared,
1237
01:07:13,062 --> 01:07:17,158
ass up, inflamed, crying.
1238
01:07:17,266 --> 01:07:22,363
At that moment, I knew.
"Hey, he's no pimp. Pimps don't cry."
1239
01:07:23,339 --> 01:07:27,833
Pimps don't cry
1240
01:07:29,145 --> 01:07:31,670
Pimps don't cry
1241
01:07:31,781 --> 01:07:34,682
No, they don't
1242
01:07:35,051 --> 01:07:38,020
They don't shed a tear
1243
01:07:38,721 --> 01:07:44,057
Pimps don't cry
1244
01:07:44,326 --> 01:07:46,226
They never shed a tear
1245
01:07:51,133 --> 01:07:54,569
Come lay with me.
Be safe, and let's make love. Come on.
1246
01:07:54,670 --> 01:07:57,070
Every time you say, "Be safe,"
it tears me apart.
1247
01:07:57,173 --> 01:07:59,733
You gotta let me be who I'm gonna be.
1248
01:08:01,343 --> 01:08:03,834
Allen, I'm pregnant.
1249
01:08:04,713 --> 01:08:06,078
Whose baby is that?
1250
01:08:06,182 --> 01:08:09,640
Who's the man who did that to you?
Gator's bitches better be using jimmies!
1251
01:08:11,487 --> 01:08:14,547
I'm sorry. See, that's what I'm talking about.
1252
01:08:14,657 --> 01:08:16,249
Oh, my God.
1253
01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:19,559
You need to leave.
1254
01:08:19,662 --> 01:08:23,257
Get out! Get out, Allen! Get out!
1255
01:08:40,049 --> 01:08:40,947
Hey.
1256
01:08:42,218 --> 01:08:44,743
Hey. What are you doing here?
1257
01:08:47,223 --> 01:08:52,286
Come here when I have lady troubles,
which means I come here about every night.
1258
01:08:52,394 --> 01:08:54,419
What are you doing here?
1259
01:08:55,598 --> 01:08:58,089
Sheila and I got into it tonight.
1260
01:08:58,968 --> 01:09:01,266
She threw me out.
1261
01:09:02,304 --> 01:09:05,364
Well, you're not a cop till your wife
throws you out of the house, partner.
1262
01:09:05,441 --> 01:09:09,275
Does it bother you that the Castien robbers
only took 74 grand in diamonds?
1263
01:09:09,612 --> 01:09:12,080
They're junkies. Who cares? I mean...
1264
01:09:12,148 --> 01:09:15,948
I don't know if a junkie can go down
a 20-story zipline, though.
1265
01:09:16,051 --> 01:09:16,949
How you fellas doing?
1266
01:09:18,621 --> 01:09:21,784
We're about to have us a little screw party
in this red Prius over here
1267
01:09:21,891 --> 01:09:23,085
if you wanna join us.
1268
01:09:23,192 --> 01:09:25,251
You're not going
anywhere near that Prius, okay?
1269
01:09:25,594 --> 01:09:28,461
Here's what we're talking about.
We're talking about a bunch of hobos
1270
01:09:28,898 --> 01:09:30,832
with fingers in each other's pooper
1271
01:09:30,900 --> 01:09:33,698
in a stranger's car
with talk radio playing really loud.
1272
01:09:33,769 --> 01:09:34,929
It's gonna be a nice evening.
1273
01:09:35,304 --> 01:09:37,602
Well, we're not participating in that.
We have no interest.
1274
01:09:37,806 --> 01:09:38,898
Let me rephrase it.
1275
01:09:39,308 --> 01:09:42,141
We got a jar of old mustard,
and we got a poodle,
1276
01:09:42,344 --> 01:09:45,507
and we're just get in there
and we're gonna put some D's in some A's.
1277
01:09:45,848 --> 01:09:47,679
Hey, are you Dirty Mike and the boys?
1278
01:09:47,750 --> 01:09:50,275
- How do you know who we are?
- You left a note in that car.
1279
01:09:50,386 --> 01:09:52,946
- Police, shithead.
- He's a copper. We gotta go. Come on!
1280
01:09:53,055 --> 01:09:54,886
Hey! Goose it, boys! They're cops!
1281
01:09:55,357 --> 01:09:57,120
Rub your dicks on the car
as you're running away!
1282
01:09:57,193 --> 01:09:59,525
You turned my beautiful Prius
into a nightmare!
1283
01:09:59,628 --> 01:10:03,291
We are gonna have sex in your car!
It will happen again!
1284
01:10:05,434 --> 01:10:07,129
I don't know where I'm gonna sleep tonight.
1285
01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,000
Fortunately, I know
where you're gonna be drinking.
1286
01:10:09,104 --> 01:10:11,436
Jack of All Trades. Drinks on me. Come on.
1287
01:10:11,974 --> 01:10:13,669
- No, I already have a beer.
- No, no, no, no.
1288
01:10:14,009 --> 01:10:16,341
I'm talking about doing
some serious drinking.
1289
01:10:16,445 --> 01:10:17,776
Drinking with Terry Hoitz.
1290
01:11:06,662 --> 01:11:08,527
This sucks, man.
Work our ass off on this case,
1291
01:11:08,597 --> 01:11:10,189
now we gotta hand over
all of our evidence?
1292
01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:11,528
Yeah, it's not right.
1293
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:13,659
Oh, my God, I'm hungover.
1294
01:11:16,005 --> 01:11:16,801
So, you guys are law enforcement?
1295
01:11:17,473 --> 01:11:19,407
Yeah, we're an independent
government agency who,
1296
01:11:19,475 --> 01:11:21,375
along with the FBI and the Federal Reserve,
1297
01:11:21,443 --> 01:11:23,604
regulate the stock market
and corporate fraud.
1298
01:11:23,946 --> 01:11:26,574
And the Federal Reserve is a prison?
1299
01:11:26,815 --> 01:11:29,579
No, basically, it's a held-for-profit bank
that sets interest rates
1300
01:11:29,652 --> 01:11:30,778
and loans money to other banks.
1301
01:11:31,620 --> 01:11:33,815
- Is that a wastebasket?
- Yeah, right there.
1302
01:11:33,922 --> 01:11:35,287
Thank you.
1303
01:11:36,992 --> 01:11:40,325
- You all right?
- Holy hell!
1304
01:11:41,964 --> 01:11:43,659
I'm so sorry.
1305
01:11:44,266 --> 01:11:45,631
I got so drunk last night.
1306
01:11:45,734 --> 01:11:49,602
I think I thought a tube of toothpaste
was astronaut food.
1307
01:11:50,673 --> 01:11:52,470
Come on in, fellas.
1308
01:11:53,575 --> 01:11:55,770
You gotta be kidding me.
You're Ershon's lawyer.
1309
01:11:55,844 --> 01:11:57,607
We're turning over our investigation to you?
1310
01:11:58,013 --> 01:12:00,277
Let me assure you there will be
no conflict of interest
1311
01:12:00,349 --> 01:12:01,816
between me and David Ershon.
1312
01:12:01,917 --> 01:12:06,013
And if this were an actual investigation,
I would immediately recuse myself.
1313
01:12:06,121 --> 01:12:10,353
This is all the evidence we have,
and I truly hope you take this seriously.
1314
01:12:10,459 --> 01:12:11,756
Yes. Very much so.
1315
01:12:11,827 --> 01:12:13,590
From everything I've heard, I understand
1316
01:12:13,662 --> 01:12:16,927
you guys are the best
at these types of investigations.
1317
01:12:16,999 --> 01:12:19,763
Outside of Enron and AIG
1318
01:12:19,835 --> 01:12:21,302
and Bernie Madoff,
1319
01:12:21,937 --> 01:12:24,633
WorldCom, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers.
1320
01:12:24,707 --> 01:12:26,607
Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Detective.
1321
01:12:26,675 --> 01:12:28,472
- Would you like a seat, or you're fine?
- No, I'm good.
1322
01:12:28,544 --> 01:12:30,171
Okay. Let me just assure you fellas,
1323
01:12:30,646 --> 01:12:33,137
David Ershon is an upstanding citizen.
1324
01:12:33,882 --> 01:12:35,645
I am playing squash with him
tonight at the club,
1325
01:12:35,718 --> 01:12:36,548
and we're having dinner.
1326
01:12:37,119 --> 01:12:39,212
You listen to me,
you Windsor knot-wearing monkey,
1327
01:12:39,321 --> 01:12:41,380
you play squash with Ershon, right?
1328
01:12:41,490 --> 01:12:44,721
Your kids go to school with his?
How would you know if he's clean or not?
1329
01:12:44,827 --> 01:12:46,488
I will take a look at your evidence,
1330
01:12:46,562 --> 01:12:47,790
and I will take a second look
at the financials.
1331
01:12:48,497 --> 01:12:50,556
And when I come back and bust your ass,
1332
01:12:50,666 --> 01:12:53,157
we're locking David Ershon
in the Federal Reserve!
1333
01:12:53,235 --> 01:12:54,702
He still doesn't understand the concept.
1334
01:13:16,125 --> 01:13:17,649
What are you doing?
1335
01:13:18,193 --> 01:13:21,492
We just handed all of our evidence over
to the bad guy's lawyer!
1336
01:13:21,563 --> 01:13:23,827
Are you a big man, huh?
1337
01:13:23,899 --> 01:13:25,366
- I'm talking to you.
- What?
1338
01:13:25,534 --> 01:13:28,298
You wake up in the morning, you say,
"I'm putting on my big boy pants"?
1339
01:13:28,370 --> 01:13:29,598
"Look, I'm wearing a belt!
1340
01:13:29,705 --> 01:13:31,832
- "I've got big boy pants on!"
- No!
1341
01:13:32,074 --> 01:13:33,837
You borrow a little jacket, you go?
1342
01:13:34,042 --> 01:13:36,101
You take your lunch
'cause you got big boy pants on?
1343
01:13:36,612 --> 01:13:38,443
You got your big boy pants and your snack?
1344
01:13:39,214 --> 01:13:40,841
I could say big, loud things!
1345
01:13:41,350 --> 01:13:42,749
I could be demonstrative!
1346
01:13:43,085 --> 01:13:44,985
- Stop!
- We don't, we don't do this!
1347
01:13:45,087 --> 01:13:47,180
You're scaring the shit out of me, man!
Stop it!
1348
01:13:47,289 --> 01:13:50,486
Is this how you conduct yourself?
In a democracy?
1349
01:13:50,592 --> 01:13:52,253
What the hell are you doing, man?
1350
01:13:52,694 --> 01:13:57,097
I'm so tired of you getting angry
and yelling all the time.
1351
01:13:58,000 --> 01:13:59,661
It's exhausting.
1352
01:14:01,804 --> 01:14:03,669
I feel like I'm partners with the Hulk.
1353
01:14:04,106 --> 01:14:06,597
You wanna know why
I'm so angry all the time?
1354
01:14:06,675 --> 01:14:10,042
'Cause the more I try and do right,
the more I screw things up.
1355
01:14:10,779 --> 01:14:15,807
We've got a possible jumper
at 3 World Financial Center, 23rd floor.
1356
01:14:15,884 --> 01:14:18,148
All units, fire department, en route.
1357
01:14:18,220 --> 01:14:20,347
- SEC.
- Beaman's office.
1358
01:14:20,923 --> 01:14:21,981
We have to go.
1359
01:14:22,191 --> 01:14:23,954
- But the Captain.
- We have to go, Allen.
1360
01:14:24,026 --> 01:14:28,725
All units, I need a respondent.
Possible jumper, 3 World Financial Center.
1361
01:14:39,875 --> 01:14:42,070
Shit. It's Beaman!
1362
01:14:42,878 --> 01:14:45,711
- He's gotta know something.
- Wesley!
1363
01:14:45,981 --> 01:14:47,812
Detective Hoitz and Gamble. We got this.
1364
01:14:48,250 --> 01:14:50,343
I took an online class
at University of Phoenix on negotiating.
1365
01:14:50,919 --> 01:14:53,080
I'm gonna need a priest and a bullhorn.
1366
01:14:53,188 --> 01:14:55,554
- I got no bullhorn.
- Does anyone have a bullhorn?
1367
01:14:55,657 --> 01:14:57,852
- Bullhorn, anyone?
- Truck.
1368
01:14:58,894 --> 01:15:00,885
Police business.
I need to use your PA system.
1369
01:15:00,996 --> 01:15:02,224
Okay, let me turn it on.
1370
01:15:04,166 --> 01:15:06,999
Mr. Beaman? Mr. Don Beaman?
1371
01:15:07,069 --> 01:15:10,266
It's Wesley. I know Ershon's Wesley's...
1372
01:15:10,372 --> 01:15:13,205
Look, there's a lot to live for in this life.
1373
01:15:13,275 --> 01:15:18,338
A lot of great things, like soda pop,
big fresh can of soda pop.
1374
01:15:18,413 --> 01:15:19,778
They do not care!
1375
01:15:19,882 --> 01:15:22,180
Give me this. I know how to talk to him.
1376
01:15:22,251 --> 01:15:25,914
Listen, we all know you're a scumbag,
and nobody cares about you.
1377
01:15:26,021 --> 01:15:27,352
Rotten piece of shit.
1378
01:15:27,422 --> 01:15:29,390
That's worse than what I was saying.
1379
01:15:29,791 --> 01:15:31,383
I'm not gonna lie to you, Don.
1380
01:15:31,460 --> 01:15:35,226
People down here are starting to murmur
that you don't have the balls to do it.
1381
01:15:35,597 --> 01:15:37,622
- I don't care!
- Yeah.
1382
01:15:37,733 --> 01:15:40,065
I say you can do it.
1383
01:15:40,802 --> 01:15:44,795
I mean, I don't want you to jump.
I'm just saying you have the capability.
1384
01:15:45,407 --> 01:15:46,465
Look, he's flying!
1385
01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:53,442
Stop that.
1386
01:15:54,216 --> 01:15:56,081
Half empty bottle of gin. Chair knocked over.
1387
01:15:56,151 --> 01:15:59,143
Look at this, it's a clear sign of a struggle.
Make sure you get this, all right?
1388
01:16:00,022 --> 01:16:02,889
Detectives, all your work's done here.
You can go.
1389
01:16:02,958 --> 01:16:04,550
What about Ershon targeting the lottery?
1390
01:16:04,626 --> 01:16:08,790
You know why Ershon was calling down
to the lottery offices all those times?
1391
01:16:08,897 --> 01:16:10,888
Because he was hooking up
with the Powerball girl,
1392
01:16:10,966 --> 01:16:13,264
the one on TV with all the numbered balls.
1393
01:16:13,368 --> 01:16:15,529
Yeah. She filed a restraining order on him
last week.
1394
01:16:16,038 --> 01:16:17,869
It was right there in front of you
the whole time.
1395
01:16:17,940 --> 01:16:19,908
- Can't be.
- You guys are getting transferred.
1396
01:16:19,975 --> 01:16:22,102
- What?
- Traffic.
1397
01:16:22,210 --> 01:16:23,302
Yeah, that's right.
1398
01:16:23,412 --> 01:16:27,075
You, you're gonna walk a beat downtown.
You're gonna walk a beat downtown.
1399
01:16:27,149 --> 01:16:29,481
- It's done. No, no. It's done.
- Captain, what are you talking about?
1400
01:16:29,585 --> 01:16:31,450
- Save yourselves some gas.
- Captain!
1401
01:16:31,987 --> 01:16:33,386
Is there an appeal process we can...
1402
01:16:33,455 --> 01:16:36,618
Had to do what you had to do, Captain.
1403
01:16:36,725 --> 01:16:38,920
Wow! That hurt.
1404
01:16:41,063 --> 01:16:43,224
- Excuse me. Where's my car?
- They towed it.
1405
01:16:43,298 --> 01:16:45,766
Couple of homeless people
were messing around in it.
1406
01:16:45,834 --> 01:16:49,497
- That's an official police car.
- Could have fooled me.
1407
01:16:54,643 --> 01:16:55,940
Wow, Mauch was upset, huh?
1408
01:16:56,478 --> 01:16:57,638
Really?
1409
01:16:57,746 --> 01:17:00,112
The only thing I had to be proud of
in my life was being a detective.
1410
01:17:00,182 --> 01:17:02,742
That was all I had. Now it's gone.
1411
01:17:03,485 --> 01:17:05,976
I know. I know. You still got me.
1412
01:17:06,088 --> 01:17:09,615
Don't you get it?
I don't want you, Allen, okay? I never did.
1413
01:17:09,691 --> 01:17:11,921
I told you that scaffolding violation
was dogshit.
1414
01:17:12,260 --> 01:17:14,353
I can't believe you still doubt me
after everything we've seen.
1415
01:17:14,463 --> 01:17:18,991
It's a real case, and I'm a real cop.
We just got the wrong target for Ershon.
1416
01:17:19,101 --> 01:17:21,331
- You carry a rape whistle.
- This is real cop work.
1417
01:17:21,436 --> 01:17:24,269
There is nothing about you
that makes a man a man, okay?
1418
01:17:24,339 --> 01:17:27,775
You got no gun, no car, no wife,
and now you got no partner.
1419
01:17:27,843 --> 01:17:29,435
Leave me alone.
1420
01:17:30,045 --> 01:17:31,535
A mutt case.
1421
01:17:31,647 --> 01:17:34,172
Terry, I am a cop,
for your information, okay?
1422
01:17:34,282 --> 01:17:36,443
A broken partnership.
1423
01:17:36,518 --> 01:17:37,644
I'm a cop!
1424
01:17:37,719 --> 01:17:41,382
And getting busted down
to a shitty assignment.
1425
01:17:41,490 --> 01:17:44,550
Allen and Terry hit the trifecta.
1426
01:17:47,329 --> 01:17:50,389
But sometimes
when you get your ass kicked,
1427
01:17:51,633 --> 01:17:54,329
that's when you find out what's real...
1428
01:17:56,672 --> 01:17:58,697
...and what needs doing.
1429
01:18:04,646 --> 01:18:06,705
Whether it's directing traffic...
1430
01:18:06,815 --> 01:18:07,839
Come on!
1431
01:18:08,316 --> 01:18:11,752
...or cracking a multibillion dollar fraud.
1432
01:18:23,231 --> 01:18:25,324
- Do you work here?
- Yeah, I do.
1433
01:18:25,400 --> 01:18:28,233
The wrecking ball that crashed into Castien
down there.
1434
01:18:28,336 --> 01:18:29,894
They also did damage to your office?
1435
01:18:30,005 --> 01:18:32,530
Some police officers came by
and sealed it off.
1436
01:18:32,607 --> 01:18:33,938
Do you recall what they looked like?
1437
01:18:34,042 --> 01:18:36,738
One of them had an Australian accent.
1438
01:18:37,279 --> 01:18:41,079
You don't happen to do any business
for the state lottery, do you?
1439
01:18:41,183 --> 01:18:44,550
No. Our main client is Lendl Global.
1440
01:18:44,619 --> 01:18:46,246
Can I ask what this is about?
1441
01:18:59,701 --> 01:19:01,931
Gator needs his gat, you punkass bitch!
1442
01:19:11,313 --> 01:19:13,406
'Cause that's what a real cop is.
1443
01:19:13,482 --> 01:19:15,973
No, I didn't say "Lock her up."
I never said, "Lock her up."
1444
01:19:16,084 --> 01:19:18,882
A guy who does what needs to be done.
1445
01:19:18,954 --> 01:19:22,913
A guy who knows how to use his dark side
for good.
1446
01:19:22,991 --> 01:19:24,618
And then you move to Florida.
1447
01:19:33,935 --> 01:19:35,061
One, two, three, attack!
1448
01:19:37,773 --> 01:19:38,967
Terry, it's me.
1449
01:19:39,074 --> 01:19:41,304
- Tap out. Tap out.
- It's me, Allen.
1450
01:19:41,409 --> 01:19:42,967
Are you tapping out,
or are you hitting me in the face?
1451
01:19:43,078 --> 01:19:44,739
I'm tapping out!
1452
01:19:45,614 --> 01:19:48,640
You crazy? What are you doing, man?
1453
01:19:48,750 --> 01:19:50,183
- They might be watching us.
- Could've killed you.
1454
01:19:50,285 --> 01:19:51,411
- Turn out the lights.
- What?
1455
01:19:51,486 --> 01:19:52,578
- They could be watching us.
- Who?
1456
01:19:52,921 --> 01:19:55,446
I found some big information, okay?
1457
01:19:55,524 --> 01:19:58,652
- About what?
- Some scary shit, Terry. This is big.
1458
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:01,758
How'd you get in here?
This place is foolproof.
1459
01:20:01,830 --> 01:20:04,298
- We can't be too careful.
- What are you talking about?
1460
01:20:04,366 --> 01:20:07,529
- This place might be bugged.
- There's no bugs in here.
1461
01:20:11,807 --> 01:20:14,799
First off, I missed you.
1462
01:20:14,876 --> 01:20:17,674
- What's going on?
- Did you hear what I said?
1463
01:20:17,779 --> 01:20:21,772
- Fine, I kind of missed you, too.
- Thank you.
1464
01:20:21,850 --> 01:20:26,150
Okay. I found out whose losses
Ershon has to cover.
1465
01:20:26,221 --> 01:20:28,519
- It's Lendl Global.
- What?
1466
01:20:28,623 --> 01:20:31,148
Lendl staged the Castien robbery
as a distraction
1467
01:20:31,226 --> 01:20:34,218
so they could break into
their own accounting firm next door.
1468
01:20:34,329 --> 01:20:37,526
They then altered all the records
to cover the losses
1469
01:20:37,632 --> 01:20:40,396
that Ershon had cost them
through all of his bad investments.
1470
01:20:40,635 --> 01:20:43,968
You're not supposed to be doing this.
You're supposed to be walking the beat.
1471
01:20:44,039 --> 01:20:46,633
I know. Pretty tricky, though, huh?
1472
01:20:47,142 --> 01:20:49,167
This is bad, Allen. This is bad.
1473
01:20:49,244 --> 01:20:51,712
No wonder the captain wanted us
to stay out of this.
1474
01:20:51,813 --> 01:20:53,906
Yeah, I bet
Beaman started asking questions.
1475
01:20:54,015 --> 01:20:55,983
- That's why they killed him.
- Man.
1476
01:20:56,051 --> 01:20:57,211
Here's the other thing.
1477
01:20:57,319 --> 01:20:59,310
Tomorrow, there's a massive
business deal going down.
1478
01:20:59,521 --> 01:21:00,886
Ershon's leading it.
1479
01:21:00,989 --> 01:21:03,856
I still can't figure out who the poor sucker is
they're making the deal with,
1480
01:21:03,925 --> 01:21:05,085
but we gotta stop it.
1481
01:21:05,193 --> 01:21:06,854
It's time to let the peacock fly.
1482
01:21:07,896 --> 01:21:09,761
I'm not going, Allen. I like what I do.
1483
01:21:10,198 --> 01:21:12,325
So do I. We're cops.
1484
01:21:12,400 --> 01:21:16,928
No. I like what I do now.
I like working traffic. It's a great gig.
1485
01:21:17,038 --> 01:21:18,062
What?
1486
01:21:18,673 --> 01:21:22,439
I like working traffic. I'm not going with you.
1487
01:21:22,544 --> 01:21:25,035
What is this traffic bullshit?
1488
01:21:28,850 --> 01:21:32,377
- What are you talking about?
- I'm talking about my life.
1489
01:21:32,454 --> 01:21:35,184
The corner I run on 54th and 3rd Avenue?
It hums.
1490
01:21:35,257 --> 01:21:38,954
It's Terry's intersection.
And the traffic guys? They're good guys.
1491
01:21:39,060 --> 01:21:42,086
There's this one guy, Phillip?
He can pee in the urinal from 20 feet.
1492
01:21:42,197 --> 01:21:43,357
You've gotta see it, Allen. You've got to.
1493
01:21:43,431 --> 01:21:46,059
What happened to you?
What happened to this being our time?
1494
01:21:46,368 --> 01:21:48,529
No way, Allen. I'm out. I'm done.
1495
01:21:49,771 --> 01:21:52,638
- Get in the car.
- Come on, Allen. We both know it's wooden.
1496
01:21:54,209 --> 01:21:58,043
- Apartment pop. Now get in the car.
- You're not gonna shoot me.
1497
01:21:58,113 --> 01:22:00,638
Okay, I'll be honest. This is only
the second time I've ever fired this.
1498
01:22:00,882 --> 01:22:02,076
So stop pointing it at me.
1499
01:22:02,150 --> 01:22:06,211
Look, tomorrow morning,
all I know is I'm going to Mauch, all right?
1500
01:22:06,454 --> 01:22:07,614
For what? He doesn't care.
1501
01:22:07,722 --> 01:22:10,885
He's been dodging this case for too long
and I want answers.
1502
01:22:10,959 --> 01:22:13,223
I want him to look me in the eye
and tell me why.
1503
01:22:13,295 --> 01:22:16,093
Turn on the news, man. Nobody cares.
1504
01:22:16,765 --> 01:22:18,130
I hope I'm not alone.
1505
01:22:18,934 --> 01:22:21,459
Hope you bring it.
1506
01:22:23,171 --> 01:22:25,298
We got a big day out there. Big one.
1507
01:22:25,407 --> 01:22:27,898
We got a full moon.
People are gonna be amped, all right?
1508
01:22:28,276 --> 01:22:30,767
Let's see what we got on hot tips, all right?
1509
01:22:32,314 --> 01:22:33,406
The new bathmats are in.
1510
01:22:36,251 --> 01:22:40,449
One more thing.
We got a serial rapist in Crown Heights.
1511
01:22:40,522 --> 01:22:44,014
Jeez, I'm sorry. That's from my other job.
Ignore that. Forget that.
1512
01:22:44,125 --> 01:22:45,285
Well, don't ignore it.
1513
01:22:45,360 --> 01:22:48,591
If you live in Crown Heights,
you know, walk in pairs.
1514
01:22:48,663 --> 01:22:52,997
Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories.
Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories.
1515
01:22:53,101 --> 01:22:56,696
I gotta go. Go get 'em.
Let's be careful out there.
1516
01:22:58,773 --> 01:22:59,933
The oak.
1517
01:23:00,008 --> 01:23:03,535
I like to keep the oak together
and the maple separately, okay?
1518
01:23:03,645 --> 01:23:04,703
And these chopping boards?
1519
01:23:04,980 --> 01:23:06,038
Hey, Captain.
1520
01:23:07,482 --> 01:23:10,007
Hey, Allen. Hey, how you doing?
1521
01:23:10,118 --> 01:23:11,881
What are you doing here?
Are you here for the bathmats?
1522
01:23:12,387 --> 01:23:16,050
- I need you to be straight with me.
- Straight with us.
1523
01:23:16,157 --> 01:23:18,853
Hey, Terry. Look at this.
1524
01:23:18,960 --> 01:23:22,623
- I thought you were working traffic today.
- Let them block the box.
1525
01:23:23,031 --> 01:23:26,489
- Besides, partners' code, right?
- Thanks.
1526
01:23:28,036 --> 01:23:30,630
Hey, why have you worked your ass off
trying to kill this case?
1527
01:23:32,073 --> 01:23:35,167
All right, fine.
I'm gonna tell you guys something.
1528
01:23:35,243 --> 01:23:38,542
You really went into deep water on this one.
You really went in deep.
1529
01:23:38,646 --> 01:23:40,580
Ershon's connected to all the higher ups,
1530
01:23:40,682 --> 01:23:43,549
and I gotta save
what little ass I have left, okay?
1531
01:23:44,185 --> 01:23:46,346
You keep hiding from shit in the world,
1532
01:23:46,421 --> 01:23:48,685
and eventually the world
comes to your front door.
1533
01:23:49,157 --> 01:23:51,387
- Nice.
- That's very nice.
1534
01:23:51,493 --> 01:23:53,051
I heard it in an episode
of Touched By An Angel.
1535
01:23:53,595 --> 01:23:57,588
You keep this thing real quiet,
and you make sure you have real evidence,
1536
01:23:57,699 --> 01:23:59,257
and maybe I'll see what I can do.
1537
01:23:59,367 --> 01:24:00,561
But if you make a lot of noise
1538
01:24:00,668 --> 01:24:03,831
and you attract the media attention,
and you bring the DA in on this,
1539
01:24:03,905 --> 01:24:05,429
I am out, okay?
1540
01:24:05,573 --> 01:24:06,870
Yeah, we'll go in there like church mice.
1541
01:24:06,941 --> 01:24:11,344
But there's one case,
one case in a career where you go all in.
1542
01:24:11,413 --> 01:24:12,539
This is it.
1543
01:24:13,114 --> 01:24:16,447
All right. Then you do us proud.
1544
01:24:16,951 --> 01:24:18,248
'Cause I don't want no scrubs.
1545
01:24:18,953 --> 01:24:21,513
- Really?
- No.
1546
01:24:21,589 --> 01:24:24,922
- You're not aware that's a TLC song?
- I have no idea what you're talking about.
1547
01:24:25,193 --> 01:24:26,592
- Second time.
- You said chasing waterfalls,
1548
01:24:26,694 --> 01:24:27,854
now you're saying you don't want no scrubs.
1549
01:24:27,929 --> 01:24:29,726
- I don't even understand the reference.
- It's like a tic.
1550
01:24:29,798 --> 01:24:30,924
I have no idea what you're talking about.
1551
01:24:31,032 --> 01:24:33,296
Remember, this thing gets messy,
we never talked.
1552
01:24:33,735 --> 01:24:35,430
- You can trust us.
- Real quiet.
1553
01:24:35,537 --> 01:24:37,801
You gotta creep. Creep.
1554
01:24:38,073 --> 01:24:39,370
Come on.
1555
01:24:40,308 --> 01:24:42,799
You don't say "Creep-creep"
unless you're quoting TLC.
1556
01:24:43,078 --> 01:24:44,443
Hey, guys.
1557
01:24:45,413 --> 01:24:47,278
You know Danson and Highsmith
were not good cops, right?
1558
01:24:47,949 --> 01:24:49,746
Yeah, I guess we kind of knew that,
but it's a drag.
1559
01:24:49,818 --> 01:24:51,718
I mean, at a certain point,
who's left to be a hero?
1560
01:24:52,053 --> 01:24:55,216
Not to be corny, maybe it's you guys.
1561
01:24:56,658 --> 01:24:58,216
You ready?
1562
01:24:58,293 --> 01:24:59,954
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
1563
01:25:08,470 --> 01:25:10,836
- No, but the highlights are great.
- Thank you.
1564
01:25:10,939 --> 01:25:12,998
- Sexy but serious.
- Thank you.
1565
01:25:13,108 --> 01:25:14,473
Excuse me.
1566
01:25:15,477 --> 01:25:18,139
Who the hell are all these people?
I was only expecting one man.
1567
01:25:18,246 --> 01:25:22,740
You know, they're just some people
I owe money to who wanted to be here.
1568
01:25:22,817 --> 01:25:23,909
Who are they?
1569
01:25:25,420 --> 01:25:30,119
Well, they are some Chechen patriots,
entrepreneurs.
1570
01:25:30,191 --> 01:25:36,027
And the black chaps
are some businessmen from Nigeria.
1571
01:25:36,131 --> 01:25:38,326
You owe money
to the Nigerians and Chechens?
1572
01:25:38,433 --> 01:25:39,923
Yes. Yes, I do.
1573
01:25:40,001 --> 01:25:43,164
- You're a piece of work.
- Thank you.
1574
01:25:43,338 --> 01:25:46,705
Probably best to get started.
1575
01:25:47,142 --> 01:25:50,600
This is good, baby.
We're in the game, we know the score.
1576
01:25:50,678 --> 01:25:53,613
The only thing that bugs me is
we still don't know who Ershon's targeting.
1577
01:25:53,681 --> 01:25:57,777
- Is it the lotto? Who is it?
- Who cares? Some rich prick.
1578
01:25:57,852 --> 01:26:03,813
I have to tell you,
I am tremendously excited by this deal.
1579
01:26:03,892 --> 01:26:06,360
And I can assure you
that every dime of your money
1580
01:26:06,461 --> 01:26:09,487
will be invested with the utmost diligence.
1581
01:26:09,564 --> 01:26:11,532
Your rates of return are really exciting.
1582
01:26:11,633 --> 01:26:13,157
We think our members
are gonna be just thrilled.
1583
01:26:13,234 --> 01:26:17,068
Yeah. I mean, we've averaged,
like, 18% over the last 10 years.
1584
01:26:18,173 --> 01:26:20,368
All right.
Quiet as a church mouse, in and out.
1585
01:26:20,475 --> 01:26:22,705
I can feel that tingling in my balls
you were talking about.
1586
01:26:22,810 --> 01:26:23,868
Beautiful.
1587
01:26:23,978 --> 01:26:25,377
All right, listen up.
1588
01:26:25,480 --> 01:26:28,381
I am Detective Gamble.
This is Detective Hoitz.
1589
01:26:28,483 --> 01:26:30,644
We need your cooperation.
1590
01:26:30,718 --> 01:26:32,185
David Ershon.
1591
01:26:32,253 --> 01:26:34,585
You're under arrest for fraud, embezzlement,
1592
01:26:34,689 --> 01:26:36,384
and in connection
to the murder of Don Beaman.
1593
01:26:36,891 --> 01:26:38,324
This is a bad idea.
1594
01:26:38,826 --> 01:26:40,191
Hey, guys.
1595
01:26:41,763 --> 01:26:44,231
Bob? What are you doing here?
1596
01:26:44,699 --> 01:26:46,030
I'm investing.
1597
01:26:46,100 --> 01:26:48,534
Do you remember we talked about
that proxy vote a while back?
1598
01:26:48,603 --> 01:26:50,230
- This is what it was for.
- Holy shit.
1599
01:26:50,338 --> 01:26:52,863
It's a more aggressive investment strategy
for the pension.
1600
01:26:52,941 --> 01:26:57,173
Allen! We're the suckers.
They're targeting the police pension fund.
1601
01:27:03,518 --> 01:27:07,147
Gentlemen, you're here illegally
and without a warrant.
1602
01:27:08,056 --> 01:27:09,523
We are within our rights to take action.
1603
01:28:07,915 --> 01:28:09,712
So much for quiet as church mice!
1604
01:28:10,285 --> 01:28:11,377
Go!
1605
01:28:16,524 --> 01:28:17,889
Who the hell are those guys?
1606
01:28:17,959 --> 01:28:21,019
Gentlemen, I can get you
obstructed view tickets for Rock of Ages.
1607
01:28:21,095 --> 01:28:25,054
Even I admit that's not very tempting,
but I'm not made of tickets, God damn it!
1608
01:28:25,133 --> 01:28:27,101
- Get in the front!
- How do you start this freaking thing?
1609
01:28:27,368 --> 01:28:28,357
Go on! Go!
1610
01:28:29,103 --> 01:28:30,092
- Shit!
- Go!
1611
01:28:32,573 --> 01:28:33,562
Oh, my...
1612
01:28:34,976 --> 01:28:37,843
Jeanie! Get over here!
You, go get the bloody car!
1613
01:29:24,425 --> 01:29:25,414
Hold the wheel!
1614
01:29:31,132 --> 01:29:33,498
- Open the back!
- I got it. I got it!
1615
01:29:41,509 --> 01:29:44,444
They're gonna kill me.
And then they will kill you.
1616
01:29:44,545 --> 01:29:46,945
- Well, I'm gonna kill you first!
- And then they will kill me.
1617
01:29:47,048 --> 01:29:50,074
We have two rogue police officers.
They are armed and dangerous,
1618
01:29:50,184 --> 01:29:51,845
- and holding David Ershon hostage.
- Stupid pricks!
1619
01:29:51,919 --> 01:29:55,411
- It's us, we're good guys!
- Exactly. They're the good guys.
1620
01:29:55,523 --> 01:29:57,684
Where do we go? Where do we go?
1621
01:29:57,759 --> 01:30:00,421
I have a small apartment.
No one knows about it.
1622
01:30:00,528 --> 01:30:03,224
I use it mainly for my parents
and prostitutes.
1623
01:30:03,297 --> 01:30:05,390
Not at the same time. That would be wrong.
1624
01:30:08,636 --> 01:30:11,332
Let's hear it from the top, every detail.
1625
01:30:11,906 --> 01:30:16,536
I think the best way to tell the story
is by starting at the end, briefly,
1626
01:30:16,611 --> 01:30:21,605
then going back to the beginning,
and then periodically returning to the end,
1627
01:30:21,716 --> 01:30:24,776
maybe giving different characters'
perspectives throughout.
1628
01:30:24,886 --> 01:30:28,185
Just to give it a bit of dynamism,
otherwise, it's just sort of a linear story.
1629
01:30:28,256 --> 01:30:29,416
Just tell us what happened.
1630
01:30:29,524 --> 01:30:32,254
I lost a bunch of money from some people
and now they want it back.
1631
01:30:32,593 --> 01:30:33,890
What about Don Beaman?
1632
01:30:33,961 --> 01:30:36,452
Beaman knew
that I had falsified my financials,
1633
01:30:36,564 --> 01:30:38,862
so they sent down Wesley
to try and keep him quiet.
1634
01:30:39,567 --> 01:30:41,432
He forced him at gunpoint
to drink a bunch of gin
1635
01:30:41,536 --> 01:30:43,561
and then forced him onto the ledge.
1636
01:30:43,638 --> 01:30:45,367
It was only a matter of time before he fell.
1637
01:30:45,440 --> 01:30:48,876
At least we stopped you
from getting the pension fund.
1638
01:30:48,943 --> 01:30:52,208
Well, but, yeah, but you didn't.
It's already in my account.
1639
01:30:52,280 --> 01:30:54,874
By 9:00 in the morning,
it goes into the Lendl equity fund
1640
01:30:54,949 --> 01:30:57,645
and from there it's transferred
to a dozen offshore accounts.
1641
01:30:57,752 --> 01:30:59,276
By 9:01, it's gone.
1642
01:30:59,387 --> 01:31:02,379
- Well, what if we stop the transfer?
- But you can't. I mean, there's a...
1643
01:31:02,457 --> 01:31:04,925
What if we stop the transfer?
1644
01:31:04,992 --> 01:31:07,893
You'd have to be at Endemic Bank
for 9:00 exactly,
1645
01:31:07,962 --> 01:31:10,430
find the clerk,
get the routing number.
1646
01:31:10,498 --> 01:31:11,556
We gotta stop it.
1647
01:31:11,632 --> 01:31:12,826
There's no way.
1648
01:31:12,934 --> 01:31:16,563
Every cop, the crazy Australian and his crew,
they'll all be after us.
1649
01:31:16,637 --> 01:31:20,733
You could let me go,
and I'll give you $10 million each.
1650
01:31:21,342 --> 01:31:24,402
- It's not a bribe.
- Of course it's a bribe.
1651
01:31:24,479 --> 01:31:26,606
You're offering to pay us money
to not do our job.
1652
01:31:28,683 --> 01:31:29,945
It's not a bribe.
1653
01:31:30,585 --> 01:31:32,985
We hang low here tonight.
Nobody knows about this place.
1654
01:31:33,087 --> 01:31:34,816
We'll be safe. And tomorrow, we hit it.
1655
01:31:35,590 --> 01:31:37,114
First things first, I gotta go see Sheila.
1656
01:31:37,191 --> 01:31:38,590
No way, it's too dangerous.
1657
01:31:38,693 --> 01:31:40,991
Look, Terry, we don't know
what's gonna happen to us tomorrow,
1658
01:31:41,095 --> 01:31:44,622
but tonight,
I need to make things right with Sheila.
1659
01:31:45,132 --> 01:31:47,032
All right, go. Go. Be careful.
1660
01:31:47,502 --> 01:31:49,129
Thanks, I will.
1661
01:31:49,971 --> 01:31:51,199
Will you say hi to Sheila for me?
1662
01:31:51,372 --> 01:31:53,135
- Okay.
- Okay.
1663
01:31:53,207 --> 01:31:56,176
Tell her. Say Terry was asking about you.
1664
01:31:56,277 --> 01:31:57,710
He wants to make sure you know
1665
01:31:57,812 --> 01:32:00,178
that he'll be there for you
if anything happens.
1666
01:32:00,281 --> 01:32:02,340
- Yeah.
- Drop of a hat, I'm there.
1667
01:32:02,550 --> 01:32:04,541
Look, it's starting to get a little weird, man.
1668
01:32:04,652 --> 01:32:07,553
If something happens to you,
I need to be there to take care of her.
1669
01:32:07,655 --> 01:32:10,556
All of her wants, her needs,
and desires are now my responsibility.
1670
01:32:10,658 --> 01:32:12,819
Why do you say it
like it's a predetermined thing?
1671
01:32:13,027 --> 01:32:14,392
Just go, man.
1672
01:32:15,129 --> 01:32:16,619
Okay. Thanks.
1673
01:32:17,565 --> 01:32:18,657
Go.
1674
01:32:22,637 --> 01:32:23,797
Janeco Gallery.
1675
01:32:24,739 --> 01:32:26,832
Francine, it's Terry. Please don't hang up.
1676
01:32:37,552 --> 01:32:38,712
Please pick up.
1677
01:32:39,587 --> 01:32:40,747
Hello.
1678
01:32:40,855 --> 01:32:44,018
Hey, sweetie.
I was praying you'd be at your mom's house.
1679
01:32:44,091 --> 01:32:47,356
You know what, I can't talk anymore.
I think the phone's being tapped.
1680
01:32:47,595 --> 01:32:50,086
Baby, where are you? I wanna see you.
1681
01:32:50,197 --> 01:32:52,358
I'm near the place where we did it
three Halloweens ago.
1682
01:32:52,433 --> 01:32:53,491
Do you remember?
1683
01:32:54,435 --> 01:32:55,834
Okay, yeah, I got it.
1684
01:32:55,903 --> 01:32:59,532
I'm just warning you, though. Watch out.
I think they're watching the house.
1685
01:32:59,607 --> 01:33:02,201
Don't worry, sweetie.
I think I have a way of talking to you.
1686
01:33:02,743 --> 01:33:06,679
I have to admit, I wasn't gonna come.
I mean...
1687
01:33:07,848 --> 01:33:11,284
After all those years,
after the restraining order.
1688
01:33:11,385 --> 01:33:14,752
I was worried I might not see you again.
1689
01:33:14,855 --> 01:33:16,447
There's some
very dangerous people after him,
1690
01:33:16,557 --> 01:33:17,581
and now they're after us.
1691
01:33:20,795 --> 01:33:22,194
It's just the old lady.
1692
01:33:27,768 --> 01:33:29,201
Hello, Allen.
1693
01:33:29,270 --> 01:33:31,864
Hello, Mama Ramos.
What are you doing out here?
1694
01:33:31,939 --> 01:33:35,033
Sheila said she doesn't know what happened
and she wants you back.
1695
01:33:36,377 --> 01:33:38,242
- She also says...
- Yes.
1696
01:33:38,312 --> 01:33:42,146
...she wants you on top of her,
holding her hair,
1697
01:33:42,249 --> 01:33:44,274
and riding her like a bucking bronco
1698
01:33:44,919 --> 01:33:48,548
while she sucks your thumb and says,
"Mommy likey."
1699
01:33:49,390 --> 01:33:50,948
You, you tell your daughter...
1700
01:33:51,325 --> 01:33:53,759
He said he'll always love you.
1701
01:33:53,828 --> 01:33:56,490
And he's so happy
that you're having his child.
1702
01:33:56,597 --> 01:33:57,757
Allen.
1703
01:33:57,832 --> 01:33:59,663
He also says that
1704
01:33:59,767 --> 01:34:03,794
he wants you to stare into each other's eyes
without blinking while you do it.
1705
01:34:04,438 --> 01:34:06,963
- I love when we do that, Mom.
- And then afterward,
1706
01:34:07,041 --> 01:34:09,009
lick the sex off each other.
1707
01:34:10,878 --> 01:34:12,778
I don't wanna do this.
1708
01:34:14,181 --> 01:34:17,582
- You say things that are too personal.
- Okay, but just one more thing.
1709
01:34:17,918 --> 01:34:19,852
She said she loves you,
1710
01:34:19,920 --> 01:34:23,014
and wants to hold your hand
and have iced tea with you.
1711
01:34:23,691 --> 01:34:26,216
Come on. That's not all she said.
1712
01:34:26,694 --> 01:34:27,888
No.
1713
01:34:28,963 --> 01:34:32,558
- She says other things, but I don't want...
- Please, please, please.
1714
01:34:32,633 --> 01:34:34,897
You don't realize, I may be killed tomorrow.
1715
01:34:35,369 --> 01:34:36,563
Okay.
1716
01:34:39,106 --> 01:34:43,975
She says she wants to unplug all the clocks
and the phones
1717
01:34:44,045 --> 01:34:47,276
- and have a three-day F marathon.
- That's more like it. Yeah.
1718
01:34:47,581 --> 01:34:52,712
She wants to walk wrong for a week
because you guys F'd so hard.
1719
01:34:52,787 --> 01:34:54,015
That's just lovely.
1720
01:34:54,422 --> 01:34:58,051
No more! He says things I can't say.
1721
01:34:58,125 --> 01:35:03,893
It involves a mannequin hand
and an electric shaver taped to a golf club.
1722
01:35:12,440 --> 01:35:13,498
Now what'd she say?
1723
01:35:15,976 --> 01:35:17,739
She says she loves you.
1724
01:35:23,984 --> 01:35:26,316
I'm so sorry about everything.
1725
01:35:29,457 --> 01:35:32,626
And I just had to come here tonight
to tell you that I love you.
1726
01:35:32,626 --> 01:35:35,595
And the reason why I act like
you're a plain wife is that
1727
01:35:37,264 --> 01:35:41,325
I'm afraid that if I admit to how stunning
1728
01:35:41,435 --> 01:35:44,233
and intelligent and wonderful you are,
1729
01:35:45,106 --> 01:35:48,940
- I'd just lose you.
- Shut up, Allen. I love you.
1730
01:35:49,443 --> 01:35:52,241
We have a place that's safe. All right.
1731
01:36:04,792 --> 01:36:06,020
I'm gonna break your hip.
1732
01:36:14,802 --> 01:36:17,100
I'm about to do you grandpa-style.
1733
01:36:32,520 --> 01:36:34,147
I brought some music.
1734
01:36:38,659 --> 01:36:40,650
Not what I would've chosen, but screw it.
1735
01:36:40,728 --> 01:36:43,993
All right. Let's go, Monday morning,
time to go to work.
1736
01:36:44,064 --> 01:36:45,190
Let's do it.
1737
01:36:45,299 --> 01:36:47,028
- You want my gate code?
- Shut up, man!
1738
01:36:54,575 --> 01:36:55,667
That's Wesley!
1739
01:37:06,720 --> 01:37:07,812
Yes!
1740
01:37:10,224 --> 01:37:12,749
- Where'd you learn to drive like that?
- Grand Theft Auto!
1741
01:37:15,696 --> 01:37:16,924
Shit, Allen, they're coming.
1742
01:37:19,834 --> 01:37:22,394
- Oh, my God!
- Shit.
1743
01:37:23,671 --> 01:37:25,366
- Do something, Allen!
- Hold on, hold on.
1744
01:37:46,861 --> 01:37:48,658
Someone's been playing Grand Theft Auto.
1745
01:37:50,431 --> 01:37:51,762
I did that!
1746
01:37:51,866 --> 01:37:53,527
- I did that!
- Oh, my God!
1747
01:37:53,601 --> 01:37:55,899
- That's what I'm talking about!
- We jackknifed them!
1748
01:37:55,970 --> 01:37:58,461
Did you see that? It went backwards
and then turned upside-down.
1749
01:37:58,572 --> 01:38:02,133
Gator turns vans upside-down like
they're in a crazy washing machine!
1750
01:38:02,243 --> 01:38:04,177
Why are you calling yourself Gator?
1751
01:38:04,745 --> 01:38:07,509
It's a nickname I had in college.
I used to run a dating service.
1752
01:38:07,581 --> 01:38:10,778
- He was a pimp.
- Yeah, I was. I was a pimp.
1753
01:38:10,918 --> 01:38:13,386
Is it me or does it smell
like deer vagina in here?
1754
01:38:14,421 --> 01:38:15,547
My poor car.
1755
01:38:15,890 --> 01:38:18,358
Right now the streets are a bloodbath.
1756
01:38:18,459 --> 01:38:21,553
And, statistically speaking,
there's about 30 kids in here,
1757
01:38:21,662 --> 01:38:23,653
10 of you are gonna be dead
before your next birthday.
1758
01:38:23,964 --> 01:38:27,024
Got a couple of tips,
help you guys stay out of jail.
1759
01:38:27,134 --> 01:38:31,366
One, try your hardest
to not be black or Hispanic.
1760
01:38:31,472 --> 01:38:33,702
- It's a good tip.
- Yeah. Two...
1761
01:38:33,807 --> 01:38:35,104
Gentlemen, we got a hot one.
1762
01:38:35,175 --> 01:38:38,804
Hoitz and Gamble have Ershon hostage,
high-speed car chase in progress.
1763
01:38:38,879 --> 01:38:40,847
Yes! Gun, gun!
1764
01:38:40,948 --> 01:38:42,882
Pass up the guns. Pass them up.
Let's go, people.
1765
01:38:42,983 --> 01:38:44,610
There we go. Anything, any Tasers? No?
1766
01:38:44,685 --> 01:38:46,118
Good. Who wants to go on a ride-along?
1767
01:38:46,186 --> 01:38:47,653
I do!
1768
01:38:48,155 --> 01:38:49,520
All right, you, sweetie.
Come on, let's go. Move.
1769
01:38:49,623 --> 01:38:50,817
- Move! Let's go.
- Come on!
1770
01:39:01,368 --> 01:39:04,235
Cool, a helicopter!
Must be covering the high-speed chase.
1771
01:39:09,510 --> 01:39:10,875
Jesus!
1772
01:39:15,716 --> 01:39:18,514
- Who are those guys?
- They're Chechen investors.
1773
01:39:18,585 --> 01:39:21,645
We were gonna do a Chechen version
of Dora the Explorer.
1774
01:39:21,722 --> 01:39:23,314
Anyway, it went terribly wrong.
1775
01:39:26,493 --> 01:39:28,688
I feel like it's not fair
that they have a helicopter!
1776
01:39:29,697 --> 01:39:30,755
Oh, no.
1777
01:39:32,166 --> 01:39:33,224
Damn it.
1778
01:39:37,104 --> 01:39:39,572
Watch your head. God, your hair is soft.
1779
01:39:39,673 --> 01:39:41,106
V05 Hot Oil.
1780
01:39:44,445 --> 01:39:46,743
You're gonna wreck!
There's cars coming from both directions!
1781
01:39:46,847 --> 01:39:47,939
I'm not gonna wreck!
1782
01:39:49,917 --> 01:39:51,680
- I'm gonna wreck! You're right!
- You want me to drive?
1783
01:40:11,705 --> 01:40:14,367
- This was a very clever idea.
- Yeah.
1784
01:40:26,453 --> 01:40:27,750
They're gone.
1785
01:40:29,156 --> 01:40:30,248
Let's go.
1786
01:40:42,569 --> 01:40:46,005
They are Nigerians.
Yeah, I'd forgotten about them.
1787
01:40:53,881 --> 01:40:55,109
- This is a shortcut.
- Are you kidding me?
1788
01:40:55,182 --> 01:40:56,410
You cannot go down there.
1789
01:41:04,324 --> 01:41:05,814
What are you doing?
1790
01:41:12,032 --> 01:41:13,124
Hit him!
1791
01:41:20,841 --> 01:41:22,206
- Where are we?
- Chelsea Pier.
1792
01:41:28,682 --> 01:41:29,774
What the hell?
1793
01:41:31,118 --> 01:41:32,176
Jesus!
1794
01:41:39,560 --> 01:41:41,391
Them having a helicopter
is definitely cheating.
1795
01:41:42,162 --> 01:41:43,220
Go!
1796
01:41:48,368 --> 01:41:49,460
Come on!
1797
01:41:51,338 --> 01:41:52,896
We're cops! Hit the chopper!
1798
01:42:15,829 --> 01:42:18,696
This is Martin and Fosse, en route.
Back off! This is our collar!
1799
01:42:20,534 --> 01:42:23,196
Set up a perimeter.
No arrests until we get there!
1800
01:42:23,504 --> 01:42:24,562
Take the light!
1801
01:42:44,758 --> 01:42:46,282
Do not authorize that transfer.
1802
01:42:46,393 --> 01:42:47,951
This is David Ershon. The transfer is for him.
1803
01:42:48,061 --> 01:42:50,461
He will tell you not to authorize it, okay?
Tell him.
1804
01:42:50,564 --> 01:42:53,192
- Tell him!
- Yeah, do as they say. Stop the transfer.
1805
01:42:53,267 --> 01:42:54,234
Approve it.
1806
01:42:55,802 --> 01:42:56,894
Now.
1807
01:42:56,970 --> 01:42:58,562
Do not touch anything!
1808
01:42:58,972 --> 01:43:01,236
I swear to God
I'll blow your head all over this desk.
1809
01:43:01,308 --> 01:43:03,742
Not a person in this room believes
you'll shoot this clerk.
1810
01:43:03,810 --> 01:43:04,902
Yeah?
1811
01:43:06,280 --> 01:43:09,772
Thank you so much, gentlemen,
for the prompt delivery of Mr. Ershon.
1812
01:43:09,883 --> 01:43:13,284
I have two competing bids
from jilted investors.
1813
01:43:13,987 --> 01:43:16,217
They're at 30 million, and holding.
1814
01:43:16,924 --> 01:43:18,892
- Wait! Can't you let me...
- Take him away.
1815
01:43:19,459 --> 01:43:20,983
But computers.
1816
01:43:23,163 --> 01:43:26,564
What if, one day, they were in charge?
1817
01:43:28,135 --> 01:43:32,231
Now if you don't shut up,
I will cut your ear off with a butter knife.
1818
01:43:32,306 --> 01:43:34,399
That's blunt. Blunt's worse than if it's sharp.
1819
01:43:34,474 --> 01:43:35,736
Now!
1820
01:43:42,783 --> 01:43:43,943
You just stood there!
1821
01:43:44,051 --> 01:43:46,815
I didn't know that "now" meant that.
How am I supposed to know that?
1822
01:43:46,920 --> 01:43:48,785
- I knew what that meant.
- Shut up.
1823
01:43:48,889 --> 01:43:51,915
You kill us and you kill Ershon.
You're out 30 million dollars.
1824
01:43:51,992 --> 01:43:54,085
- Who's got the golden goose now, huh?
- Yeah.
1825
01:43:58,131 --> 01:43:59,723
Shit!
1826
01:44:00,400 --> 01:44:02,561
He's still valuable with a bullet wound, mate.
1827
01:44:02,636 --> 01:44:04,501
He immediately called your bluff.
1828
01:44:04,605 --> 01:44:06,436
Get up. And kill the police.
1829
01:44:06,506 --> 01:44:07,973
I just wanna make sure I get it right.
1830
01:44:08,075 --> 01:44:11,476
Did you want this transfer approved
or not approved?
1831
01:44:11,945 --> 01:44:14,311
You, mate, I'm gonna kill just for fun.
1832
01:44:15,849 --> 01:44:18,647
Police, don't move! Drop your weapons!
1833
01:44:18,752 --> 01:44:21,687
Drop it, or be dropped, homeboy!
1834
01:44:21,755 --> 01:44:24,690
I hope you like the taste
of prison food and penis.
1835
01:44:24,791 --> 01:44:27,555
- Police! Down on the ground!
- Let me see your hands!
1836
01:44:35,369 --> 01:44:37,735
- Hey, hey, you okay?
- Hey.
1837
01:44:38,639 --> 01:44:41,005
Hey, Gene. Captain. I'm sorry.
1838
01:44:41,308 --> 01:44:43,003
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay. Don't worry about it.
1839
01:44:43,076 --> 01:44:44,475
You can call me Gene
when we're not in the office.
1840
01:44:45,045 --> 01:44:47,172
Okay. Thanks for coming by.
1841
01:44:47,247 --> 01:44:49,340
Attaboy.
1842
01:44:49,416 --> 01:44:51,475
Come on, stay with me. Stay with me.
1843
01:44:51,718 --> 01:44:54,312
We're losing him! We're losing him!
He's dying!
1844
01:44:55,055 --> 01:44:58,388
No. No, no, no, no. I'm just resting.
I'm just resting. I was just resting.
1845
01:44:58,492 --> 01:45:00,653
I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?
1846
01:45:00,727 --> 01:45:02,251
- Are you all right?
- Just resting.
1847
01:45:02,362 --> 01:45:03,761
Hey, let me tell you something.
1848
01:45:03,864 --> 01:45:06,697
As far as paperwork goes,
we'll take care of it.
1849
01:45:07,034 --> 01:45:08,592
- You know why?
- Why?
1850
01:45:08,702 --> 01:45:10,192
Ain't too proud to beg.
1851
01:45:10,837 --> 01:45:12,031
Come on.
1852
01:45:12,105 --> 01:45:13,936
- What?
- It's not funny anymore.
1853
01:45:14,041 --> 01:45:16,566
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- TLC references.
1854
01:45:16,677 --> 01:45:18,668
Still nothing. I swear to you.
1855
01:45:19,012 --> 01:45:24,348
I'm gonna go over and check on Terry.
I got a bad knee. Hold on. There you go.
1856
01:45:24,418 --> 01:45:27,216
It was the king of the mutt cases,
1857
01:45:27,287 --> 01:45:30,415
but Allen and Terry had worked it like stars.
1858
01:45:33,293 --> 01:45:36,421
Within 24 hours of learning
about Ershon's scheme
1859
01:45:36,530 --> 01:45:38,555
and Lendl's massive losses,
1860
01:45:38,632 --> 01:45:41,362
the government issued TARP funds
to bail out Lendl.
1861
01:45:41,435 --> 01:45:45,963
Lendl is in everything,
and we're gonna go everywhere...
1862
01:45:46,073 --> 01:45:47,404
They were too big to fail.
1863
01:45:47,974 --> 01:45:53,139
Ershon now resides in Palomino
Federal Correctional Facility in Florida.
1864
01:45:53,246 --> 01:45:56,306
He still invests. Currency's just different.
1865
01:45:57,384 --> 01:45:59,784
Roger Wesley was linked
to the Beaman murder
1866
01:45:59,886 --> 01:46:03,686
by security cam footage
which Martin and Fosse hadn't checked.
1867
01:46:03,757 --> 01:46:05,588
It only showed the back of their heads.
1868
01:46:05,692 --> 01:46:09,788
But Allen's Faceback app
was able to get a match to their faces.
1869
01:46:10,263 --> 01:46:12,128
Terry married Francine.
1870
01:46:12,232 --> 01:46:15,201
He played harp at the reception
and it was beautiful.
1871
01:46:15,268 --> 01:46:16,792
He had learned how to play it
in the eighth grade
1872
01:46:16,903 --> 01:46:20,270
to make fun of the fairy
that lived up the street.
1873
01:46:20,374 --> 01:46:23,866
Terry asked Sheila to be his best man,
but she declined.
1874
01:46:24,144 --> 01:46:28,376
Let's be honest,
we all wanna be superstars and hotshots.
1875
01:46:28,448 --> 01:46:29,676
But guess what?
1876
01:46:29,750 --> 01:46:33,242
The people that do the real work,
the ones that make the difference,
1877
01:46:33,520 --> 01:46:36,512
you don't see them on TV
or on the front page.
1878
01:46:37,157 --> 01:46:40,615
I'm talking about the day-in,
day-outers, the grinders.
1879
01:46:40,761 --> 01:46:43,889
Come on, man, you know who
- The other guys.
1880
01:46:43,964 --> 01:46:45,124
- See? That's a no-go.
- Hey, hey.
1881
01:46:45,899 --> 01:46:47,890
You think you broke this Ershon case open?
1882
01:46:48,301 --> 01:46:49,529
You did nothing.
1883
01:46:49,936 --> 01:46:51,528
Corporate lobbyists are spending millions
1884
01:46:51,605 --> 01:46:53,869
to make sure guys like Ershon
keep doing what they do.
1885
01:46:54,741 --> 01:46:55,730
Derek Jeter?
1886
01:46:57,144 --> 01:47:00,238
Yeah, it's me. You were set up
that night you shot me, Terry.
1887
01:47:00,547 --> 01:47:03,345
- I told you!
- They knew by putting someone like you
1888
01:47:03,417 --> 01:47:06,386
with a quick trigger finger next to that door
where I do my pre-game walk,
1889
01:47:06,553 --> 01:47:08,919
it'd end up bad. Bad for both of us.
1890
01:47:09,456 --> 01:47:11,549
Now, I've been doing my own investigation
on the banking industry,
1891
01:47:11,691 --> 01:47:13,750
and I was close. I was real close.
1892
01:47:14,161 --> 01:47:15,321
So I forgive you, Terry.
1893
01:47:15,896 --> 01:47:17,989
I appreciate that, man. I'm sorry about
what happened.
1894
01:47:18,765 --> 01:47:19,754
I'm glad you're doing better.
1895
01:47:20,233 --> 01:47:22,531
The whole damn system is clogged up
with dirty money.
1896
01:47:23,136 --> 01:47:26,367
And the news doesn't say a word about it.
'Cause who owns them?
1897
01:47:26,540 --> 01:47:28,974
The same corporations
that own the government.
1898
01:47:29,576 --> 01:47:31,271
Courts and the law is all we have left.
1899
01:47:32,612 --> 01:47:34,045
So here's you guys' next case.
1900
01:47:35,182 --> 01:47:38,083
Guy by the name of Carl Bachand,
CEO of Killister Bank.
1901
01:47:38,718 --> 01:47:42,552
He took three billion in TARP funds.
He's crooked. He's real crooked.
1902
01:47:43,089 --> 01:47:47,685
Take him down, but be careful.
He's got Blackwater mercenaries 24l7.
1903
01:47:48,728 --> 01:47:49,888
Thanks, Derek.
1904
01:47:51,198 --> 01:47:53,325
Hey, Derek! Wait!
What if we need to get in touch with you,
1905
01:47:53,400 --> 01:47:55,766
get some more information
or some tickets or something?
1906
01:47:56,503 --> 01:47:57,663
What just happened?
1907
01:48:00,507 --> 01:48:03,601
Goldman Sachs.
This case is gonna be nasty.
1908
01:48:06,279 --> 01:48:07,974
Hi. Cute glasses.
1909
01:48:08,982 --> 01:48:10,950
- What was that?
- What?
1910
01:48:11,017 --> 01:48:14,646
What? Dude, what is it with you
and hot ladies? What's your secret?
1911
01:48:14,721 --> 01:48:17,383
Honestly, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
1912
01:48:17,491 --> 01:48:19,516
Tell me who you lost your virginity to.
1913
01:48:19,626 --> 01:48:22,652
She actually became a TV actress.
Heather Locklear.
1914
01:48:22,729 --> 01:48:24,390
Heather Locklear, what?
1915
01:48:24,498 --> 01:48:26,125
- You've heard of her?
- Come on!
1916
01:48:26,199 --> 01:48:29,999
- She was much chubbier back then.
- I don't get it. I really, I don't get it.
1917
01:53:30,904 --> 01:53:32,565
That was you.
You don't have a sense of humor.
1918
01:53:32,672 --> 01:53:34,139
I do... I have a wonderful sense of humor.
1919
01:53:34,641 --> 01:53:36,199
If you say something funny, I'll laugh.
1920
01:53:36,276 --> 01:53:38,972
- All right, I'm gonna tell you a great joke.
- Please. I love jokes.
1921
01:53:39,112 --> 01:53:41,672
All right. Little boy on his 13th birthday.
1922
01:53:43,082 --> 01:53:46,210
- It's time to get laid.
- Already feels inappropriate.
1923
01:53:46,519 --> 01:53:48,282
So he goes to the lady at the whorehouse,
he goes, " Miss,
1924
01:53:48,655 --> 01:53:51,818
"look, I know usually you want money, but
I don't have any money and it's my birthday.
1925
01:53:52,158 --> 01:53:53,921
"Do you think I could have sex with you
for this duck?"
1926
01:53:54,460 --> 01:53:56,655
- Was he a farmer?
- No.
1927
01:53:56,863 --> 01:54:01,163
That's probably a Health Code violation,
bringing a duck into a place of prostitution.
1928
01:54:01,601 --> 01:54:03,159
They weren't gonna have sex with the duck!
1929
01:54:03,436 --> 01:54:05,199
No, I just mean Health Code violation
1930
01:54:05,271 --> 01:54:08,866
to have the duck brought into
a facility like that.
1931
01:54:10,376 --> 01:54:12,537
So, anyway, she says, "Yes, I'll do it."
1932
01:54:13,079 --> 01:54:15,513
So he goes in there, gives it to her.
1933
01:54:16,082 --> 01:54:19,245
- He gives her what?
- The high, hard one! She loves it.
1934
01:54:19,519 --> 01:54:22,511
She goes, "You know what? If you do that
again, I'll give you your duck back."
1935
01:54:22,856 --> 01:54:24,790
- It's like getting laid twice for free.
- So... I'm sorry.
1936
01:54:24,858 --> 01:54:25,984
I'm so sorry.
1937
01:54:26,292 --> 01:54:30,228
- The duck is payment for sexual intercourse.
- Yes. Yes.
1938
01:54:30,396 --> 01:54:31,556
- Very good.
- He used the duck as payment,
1939
01:54:31,631 --> 01:54:33,223
and now he's being paid back the duck.
1940
01:54:33,666 --> 01:54:36,760
He goes, "Oh, my God, this is
the greatest birthday ever." He does it again.
1941
01:54:37,070 --> 01:54:40,631
- Now he's walking home, right? Walking...
- So she was satisfied with duck.
1942
01:54:40,940 --> 01:54:42,931
- With a duck as currency...
- Yes.
1943
01:54:43,009 --> 01:54:45,477
...to her. Great. Good.
1944
01:54:45,812 --> 01:54:49,543
So he's walking home, now he can't wait
to get home to tell his father. Right?
1945
01:54:49,916 --> 01:54:52,077
He's walking down the street with the duck,
and all of a sudden, voom,
1946
01:54:52,151 --> 01:54:53,550
truck comes by and runs over his duck.
1947
01:54:53,653 --> 01:54:55,052
- Kills the duck?
- Killed the duck.
1948
01:54:55,121 --> 01:54:57,282
- So the duck is now dead.
- The duck is dead.
1949
01:54:57,757 --> 01:55:01,056
The kid starts crying, truck driver stops,
he's all upset, he didn't mean...
1950
01:55:01,227 --> 01:55:04,355
Of course he's crying! He's a 13-year-old boy
who's just had sex, twice,
1951
01:55:04,530 --> 01:55:07,988
- and he watched his beloved duck die.
- Will you shut up and let me tell the story?
1952
01:55:08,167 --> 01:55:10,067
So far, I don't know
how this is ever gonna be funny.
1953
01:55:10,370 --> 01:55:12,838
The guy feels so bad about killing the duck,
he gives him two dollars.
1954
01:55:13,206 --> 01:55:14,537
And the kid's happy with the two bucks?
1955
01:55:15,041 --> 01:55:18,499
He's ecstatic! He got laid twice,
and now he's got two dollars on top of it.
1956
01:55:18,578 --> 01:55:21,046
Seems like a duck would be worth
a lot more than two dollars.
1957
01:55:22,215 --> 01:55:23,739
This was a while back. You what I'm...
1958
01:55:24,150 --> 01:55:26,641
So he goes home, his dad goes,
"What happened? What happened?
1959
01:55:26,719 --> 01:55:30,177
"Tell me! Tell me!" He goes,
"Dad, I got a fuck for the duck,
1960
01:55:30,323 --> 01:55:31,847
"I got a duck for the fuck,
1961
01:55:31,925 --> 01:55:33,688
"and I got two bucks for a fucked-up duck!"
1962
01:55:36,763 --> 01:55:37,991
So it's like a limerick.
1963
01:55:39,198 --> 01:55:40,426
You didn't think that was funny?
1964
01:55:40,900 --> 01:55:42,765
I thought it was entertaining
at the end, sure,
1965
01:55:43,469 --> 01:55:45,232
the way all the words were put together,
1966
01:55:45,305 --> 01:55:46,863
but in terms of content?
1967
01:55:48,508 --> 01:55:49,600
No.
1968
01:55:52,812 --> 01:55:56,441
Get the check-check from Shen-Shen.
Let's get out of here.
1969
01:56:01,654 --> 01:56:05,852
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
1970
01:56:06,326 --> 01:56:07,350
And cut.