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(dramatic music)

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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- We provide the citizens
and visitors of Boulder County

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with efficient and effective
public safety services.

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And then we deliver those services

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with character, competence and open communication.

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The other part about it is like the rules I have

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for people that I'm responsible for,

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like my three commander
expectations for night shift is

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one is the old Patrick Swayze "Road House" rules,

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be nice,

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be nice until it's time to not be nice.

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If you have to use force or something like that,

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it's not a, there's not gonna be a question.

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You'll know when it's appropriate to flip the switch.

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Rule number two, take care of the men and women

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to your left and right.

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I mean, and that's not just the officers

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who were on the shift, deputies working with you.

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That's everybody.

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That could be my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister,

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just like it could be yours.

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So we need to take care of those people.

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What's the right thing to do in the situation

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we're dealing with?

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And rule number three is don't get yourself so far in

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that I can't get you out.

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And all that means is if you
don't know what you're doing,

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stop and ask a question.

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There's no dumb question.

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And I've been doing this for a long time,

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but I still don't know everything

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and things are constantly changing

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and I'm not on the road all the time,

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so there's things I have to
teach myself to relearn again.

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When I went to the academy,

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nobody told me, like when you come outta the academy,

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you're excited.

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You know, new cop coming outta the wrapper.

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I call 'em when they graduate the academy,

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I call 'em coming outta the wrapper.

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They're new, they're brand-new
and shiny, they're excited.

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Some kids drinking underage, they take off running.

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You're like, woo.

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Yeah, baby, woo.

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(audience laughs)

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But when you've been on the
department as long as I've been,

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you gotta weigh the risk versus the reward.

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(audience laughs)

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If you ever see me running after somebody,

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hit that son of a bitch with your car.

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(audience laughs)

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That's a homicide suspect.

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(audience laughs)

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(energetic music)

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(police radio chatters indistinctly)

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I hate drunk women, man.

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They're always lying to me like,

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"Officer, you're so good looking."

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I'm like, really?

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No.

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Are you a dirty officer?

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(audience laughs)

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My mother, you may not understand, man.

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She is the Mexican Wolverine.

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(Vinnie vocalizes like a siren)

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Oh, here, bear, bear, bear, bear.

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You think I'm sweating now?

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You should have seen me 45
minutes into hot power yoga.

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(Vinnie inhales loudly)

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(audience laughs)

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More importantly, I didn't realize is

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if I get a contact high,

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I become Mexican Tickle Me Elmo.

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He'd be like, "Ma'am, why don't you do me a favor?

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Shut your freaking yapper."

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He's like, "Mijo, you need some backup?"

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(energetic music continues)

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(audience laughs)

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When people find out that I'm not only a cop

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but a standup comedian,

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I think their first reaction
is probably what I usually get

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when I come off stage.

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They ask me, "Are you really a cop?"

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And a lot of 'em will say,

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"You know, I've never met a funny cop."

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And if you think about that, that's true

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because who really thinks of a cop being funny

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when you get pulled over on the side of the road,

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or when we go to calls?

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Nobody calls 911 because something is going great.

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It's only when chaos has erupted

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that the cops get called.

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Kinda units respond to a vehicle on fire.

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What do I hear right after they dispatch that?

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(Vinnie crackles like radio)

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Dispatch, can you advise a
description on the vehicle?

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(audience laughs)

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It's the one that's on fire.

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You don't think about that until you watch

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a police officer on stage doing standup comedy

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and they see you in an entirely different light.

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(jaunty music)

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I was an Explorer for seven years, 14 to 21.

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I was a National Youth Rep in '94 and '96.

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I wanna thank all the advisors for being advisors

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because when I was an Explorer,

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I tested my advisor's patience.

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Did I have a propensity to do things as an Explorer

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that I probably shouldn't have?

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Yes.

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These types of Explorers that
I'm gonna talk about right now

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exist in every post.

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If you don't recognize them, it's probably you.

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(audience laughs)

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I just wanted to be involved.

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I wanted to be a cop more than anything.

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I was inspired by "CHiPs",

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Ponch and Jon.

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So you know, when I got into the role,

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we were allowed to carry handcuffs.

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You know, I took the opportunity

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and of course it got me in trouble.

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The first time I met Vinnie, Vincenzo,

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the Vince man.

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Well,

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I am happy to tell you

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the greatest little secret in the world.

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The millisecond that Vinnie started his career

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in law enforcement was at the back door

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of the Lafayette Police Department

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where he showed up for
his very first law enforcement

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Police Explorer meeting.

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Vinnie knew everything before it had been taught.

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And he was extremely energetic.

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He wanted to do everything.

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He wanted to be right in the mix from the get-go.

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And had a hard time persuading him

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that maybe he didn't know everything.

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This is one of my favorite Explorers,

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and he's at every single post,

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Inspector Gadget Explorer.

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(audience laughs)

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You're like, what is that
Explorer, what is that Explorer?

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He's got like 16 keepers on his belts.

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(audience laughs)

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Three flashlights, 16 tactical knives.

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(audience laughs)

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12 tourniquets, he looks like Batman,

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you know what I'm saying?

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(audience laughs)

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If you asked him, "You got shark spray?"

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You got shark spray.

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(audience laughs)

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Of course I got shark spray.

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He carried more equipment than I would have.

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He filled up my whole back seat.

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He had a full first aid kit, you know,

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it was, you know, it was a complete set first aid kit.

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Then he had all his personal
equipment in another big bag

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and it would fill up the whole back seat

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when we got started.

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As an Explorer, he made sure

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that his uniform was proper,

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his equipment was proper,

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and that he was there on time

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and he was going to be a part of things and learn.

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But he wanted to be involved, right?

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Which means sometimes he'd
push the envelope a little bit.

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They gave me a nickname, Captain V.

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Now I wasn't an actual captain, right?

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I just thought that I was more than I was, all right?

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I was the cap, I was the Explorer

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that would show up and be like,

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"Captain V on scene, no problem too big,

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no problem too small."

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(audience laughs)

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You're parking cars at the fairgrounds.

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(audience laughs)

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We'd be driving around, it was pretty slow,

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very little radio traffic.

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And I'd look over and I'd start seeing, you know,

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his eyes were starting to get heavy

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and you can start seeing him kind of drift.

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And pretty soon he'd just kind of fall asleep

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and his head was,

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and I could hear him breathing deep.

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And then what I always do is I'd slam on the brakes

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and I'd go, "Ah", and put my arm out.

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And he'd go, "Ah, what, what, what?"

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Whenever he rode along, you could always, you know,

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trace his menu because he would leave

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the residue stuffed underneath the passenger seat

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in the car.

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And a couple days later you'd find Taco Bell wrappers

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and a cup and a pop can,

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he's like marking his territory.

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See the difference between you and I though is

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when you go to Taco Bell,

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you order like one thing, right?

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You order like one order.

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What, I mean, you pick one of the numbers one through 10

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or one through 12, whatever it is, right?

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Not me.

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I pull in, especially when I'm
a uniform, I'm embarrassed.

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I'm like, "We would like 12 tacos."

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(audience laughs)

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"Some of the guys back at the office

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would like a couple Crunchwraps."

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(audience laughs)

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Sir, how many drinks can we get for your order?

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One diet Pepsi.

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(audience laughs)

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People that know Vinnie, he's hefty

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and he loved his Taco Bell.

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And you know, before two o'clock,

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I think it was two o'clock on Graves,

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Taco Bell would close down,

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we'd have to make our run to Taco Bell.

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Yes, when I was in my teenage years,

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I liked Taco Bell, okay?

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You tell me a kid today that doesn't like Taco Bell.

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All right, it's not gonna happen.

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So the day that I went to hot power yoga,

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I stopped at Taco Bell and got my usual.

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(audience laughs)

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And I sat in the parking lot crushing tacos

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and sucking down Fire packet after Fire packet.

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(audience laughs)

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- We'd do the drive-through and we'd go to Taco Bell.

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And it was one of those things that normal people got

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you know, the little bag like that.

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Well, they had a big bag.

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I don't know, it was like a catering bag or whatever.

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75 minutes into the class,

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yet again, I'm coming out of downward dog

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and everybody in the room hears.

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(Vinnie gurgles)

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(audience laughs)

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(Vinnie gurgles)

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(audience laughs)

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When I ride with Rick though,

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the Taco Bell Boulder at Baseline Broadway

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would always close at about
two o'clock in the morning.

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So at some point, riding the graveyards with him,

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we'd have to go through and get a six pack

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or a 12 pack of tacos.

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Do you all know what a Jake brake sounds like

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when it lets loose?

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(audience laughs)

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(Vinnie gurgles)

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(Vinnie hisses)

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(audience laughs)

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Everybody was running for the room.

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(Vinnie screams)

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But yeah, I have to have, make a Taco Bell run

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and I love the hot sauce and yeah, what about it?

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That's who I am.

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That's who I was.

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Thank you.

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(audience laughs)

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I come from a non-traditional Mexican family.

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There are only four of us in this family.

265
00:10:17,585 --> 00:10:19,608
(audience laughs)

266
00:10:19,650 --> 00:10:23,718
Family has always been the
most important thing to me.

267
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,848
My immediate family is paramount

268
00:10:25,890 --> 00:10:29,718
in that I live, breathe and eat my family.

269
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:30,848
It's just important.

270
00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:31,681
It's the way I was raised.

271
00:10:31,723 --> 00:10:34,458
It was what was beat into my head as a kid.

272
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,198
Family first, above all else.

273
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:37,698
It was a wonderful feeling for me

274
00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:39,041
to be married and have my,

275
00:10:39,083 --> 00:10:41,568
I think the biggest thrill is
when I knew she was pregnant

276
00:10:41,610 --> 00:10:42,588
and having my children.

277
00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:45,318
That was a big thrill because
I knew I was gonna have kids.

278
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,568
You know, I didn't wanna leave all my millions

279
00:10:47,610 --> 00:10:49,457
to somebody else, you know?

280
00:10:49,499 --> 00:10:50,808
(Rudy laughs)

281
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:55,518
My father passed away in January of 1999

282
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,048
after a long battle of cancer.

283
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,698
I remember being in middle school

284
00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:01,248
or junior high is what they called it back then

285
00:11:01,290 --> 00:11:04,488
and my dad was going through lymphoma.

286
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:07,188
My father is everything who I am today.

287
00:11:07,230 --> 00:11:09,288
The ability to talk to people,

288
00:11:09,330 --> 00:11:11,538
to relate to people, to build rapport,

289
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:14,148
that was all established as a young kid with him

290
00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:16,008
because he was such a hustler.

291
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,808
My dad wasn't afforded the education,

292
00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:20,148
nor was my mom that I was able to receive.

293
00:11:20,190 --> 00:11:22,368
My brother and I were the
first two to graduate high school

294
00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:24,198
and that to them was the pinnacle for them.

295
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:25,998
My life, what I've did,

296
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,888
I like to see my kids really come by

297
00:11:27,930 --> 00:11:29,808
and do what I've did.

298
00:11:29,850 --> 00:11:33,318
You know, be good boys and good to their kids

299
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,998
and good to their wives

300
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,248
and show a good life and be hustlers, though.

301
00:11:37,290 --> 00:11:39,048
Always make money and try to bring money in.

302
00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:41,208
My dad and mom always said, "Don't be stealing.

303
00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:43,698
Don't be doing, you know, bad stuff."

304
00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:46,305
My brother, he never did any of that

305
00:11:46,347 --> 00:11:48,378
and I never did any of that.

306
00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:49,788
They just kept us straight

307
00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:51,558
and they were all the way through high school

308
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,391
and everything.

309
00:11:52,433 --> 00:11:54,168
My mom is a huge influence, but my father,

310
00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:56,191
I never talk about him on stage.

311
00:11:56,233 --> 00:11:57,648
I just don't know that I'm ready there yet.

312
00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:59,478
But one day that's gonna happen

313
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,418
'cause he was so powerful in my life.

314
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:05,988
And I think the hardest thing for Vinnie Montez,

315
00:12:06,030 --> 00:12:07,428
if I'm being completely honest,

316
00:12:07,470 --> 00:12:10,068
is you ascend through things.

317
00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:11,988
You reach accomplishments in your life

318
00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:13,608
and there's nothing better than sharing that

319
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,038
with your family or your, or people you're close to.

320
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,004
Oh yeah, I had a lot of thrill with my kids

321
00:12:18,046 --> 00:12:20,028
and I remember Vince at a young age,

322
00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:22,278
he wanted to go out and play the drums, you know?

323
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:23,478
And when my kids were small

324
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,368
they always went up to sing with me

325
00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:26,568
when I sang with a band

326
00:12:26,610 --> 00:12:28,698
because it just give them such a thrill.

327
00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:31,365
But they both have a lot of music in 'em, you know?

328
00:12:31,407 --> 00:12:34,038
And my dad was always hustling and striving

329
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,988
and I think he would be very happy to see

330
00:12:36,030 --> 00:12:38,118
where I ended up in my career professionally,

331
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,168
in law enforcement,

332
00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:42,275
but even just as much how this
comedy has worked out for me.

333
00:12:42,317 --> 00:12:45,408
'Cause I think he was a natural-born entertainer.

334
00:12:45,450 --> 00:12:48,918
He was a singer and he performed with bands

335
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,803
and he just always made people
feel good about themselves.

336
00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:56,148
Cooking, eating,

337
00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:57,970
traveling whenever we can get away

338
00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:00,618
and taking care of our two sons,

339
00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:02,683
which is all that we can

340
00:13:04,419 --> 00:13:06,888
give of ourselves to

341
00:13:06,930 --> 00:13:08,448
because we love them very much.

342
00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:11,538
- In the Mexican culture, the
mom is very well respected

343
00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:13,848
and my mom, you know,

344
00:13:13,890 --> 00:13:15,918
I poke fun at her on stage

345
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,138
because I call her the Mexican Wolverine

346
00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:20,388
only because she was so tough growing up.

347
00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:22,368
My mother, you may not understand, man,

348
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:23,868
she is the Mexican Wolverine.

349
00:13:23,910 --> 00:13:26,298
When I grew up, man, she is the toughest woman

350
00:13:26,340 --> 00:13:29,444
I have ever met in my entire life, right?

351
00:13:29,486 --> 00:13:30,528
(Silvia laughs)

352
00:13:30,570 --> 00:13:32,598
I was very firm, always.

353
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,896
- My 69-year-old mother is the ringleader of the family.

354
00:13:35,938 --> 00:13:36,729
(audience laughs and cheers)

355
00:13:36,771 --> 00:13:38,238
Five foot tall, less than 100 pounds,

356
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,329
just pure lightning in her veins, right?

357
00:13:40,371 --> 00:13:41,162
(audience laughs)

358
00:13:41,204 --> 00:13:42,288
When I was a kid I could come home

359
00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:45,168
from a compound fracture,
right, with a compound fracture.

360
00:13:45,210 --> 00:13:47,254
She'd immediately revert back to the last time

361
00:13:47,296 --> 00:13:48,087
(indistinct).

362
00:13:48,129 --> 00:13:50,412
See mijo, and God punishes without a belt.

363
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:53,287
(audience laughs)

364
00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:57,288
My mom is a lot more laid back today,

365
00:13:57,330 --> 00:14:01,158
but she still has the attributes that I know in her.

366
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,258
She's, you know, she wants to be right,

367
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:06,048
which, same me with me, I like to be right,

368
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:09,348
but I portray her in the way I see her

369
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:11,271
when I was growing up much younger, you know?

370
00:14:11,313 --> 00:14:12,948
Like when I would get outta line

371
00:14:12,990 --> 00:14:16,188
and you know, there'd be a slipper or a chancla coming,

372
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:18,678
flying across the room at us 'cause we were fighting.

373
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:19,908
My mom would check us down,

374
00:14:19,950 --> 00:14:22,008
my brother would be breaking left, she'd wait for me,

375
00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:24,528
I'd dive down behind the coffee table,

376
00:14:24,570 --> 00:14:25,361
she'd pump fake,

377
00:14:25,403 --> 00:14:28,210
wait till I come back up, right upside the head.

378
00:14:28,252 --> 00:14:29,043
(audience laughs)

379
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:31,158
My parents brought me that way.

380
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,213
They brought me up very strict.

381
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,108
My father was a minister

382
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:38,958
and he always taught us right from wrong

383
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:43,128
and he always did and tried to be the best to us.

384
00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:45,468
Her impact on my life is huge,

385
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,268
I think 'cause of the structure I was given

386
00:14:47,310 --> 00:14:49,308
and watching her, I've even said on stage,

387
00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:51,018
I think sometimes she wanted to be a cop.

388
00:14:51,060 --> 00:14:53,958
I find myself in that role in my real life job

389
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,088
where I am, you know, sometimes correcting people

390
00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:58,608
or holding people accountable or you know,

391
00:14:58,650 --> 00:15:00,288
stopping them from doing something bad.

392
00:15:00,330 --> 00:15:03,588
I love when he talks about his mom

393
00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:05,928
being on scene when he talks about his ride-alongs.

394
00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:09,318
And mom shows up and he goes up on a car

395
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,388
and a guy starts cursing at him or whatever

396
00:15:11,430 --> 00:15:13,278
and mom kind of sees us from the back

397
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,635
and she grabs the PA and she goes.

398
00:15:15,677 --> 00:15:16,468
(Craig crackles like radio)

399
00:15:16,510 --> 00:15:18,028
Mijo, you need some backup?

400
00:15:18,070 --> 00:15:20,763
And all of a sudden he hears from back behind him.

401
00:15:20,805 --> 00:15:21,596
(Jamey crackles like radio)

402
00:15:21,638 --> 00:15:22,878
"Mijo, you need backup?"

403
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:23,988
The last time she rode along,

404
00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:26,439
she got way too involved in the situation.

405
00:15:26,481 --> 00:15:28,638
(audience laughs)

406
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:29,688
Drunk guy was pushing around

407
00:15:29,730 --> 00:15:31,278
a bunch of kids at the park, right?

408
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:32,111
I get there, I'm like,

409
00:15:32,153 --> 00:15:34,248
"Look dude, no ticket, no jail.

410
00:15:34,290 --> 00:15:35,628
Let's go to De Dutch, what do you say?"

411
00:15:35,670 --> 00:15:39,469
He says, "Let me tell you something, fat boy."

412
00:15:39,511 --> 00:15:40,302
(audience laughs)

413
00:15:40,344 --> 00:15:42,858
"I'll kick your butt, fat boy."

414
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,121
My mother hears this from the patrol car.

415
00:15:45,163 --> 00:15:46,878
(audience laughs)

416
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,848
Grabs the PA, "Mijo, you need some backup?"

417
00:15:49,890 --> 00:15:51,768
Growing up at, in this elementary school

418
00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:54,198
at Foothill Elementary in Boulder,

419
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,478
we were at a recess and this
kid was kind of picking on me

420
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,648
and pushed me

421
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:00,108
and literally my mom came out of the van

422
00:16:00,150 --> 00:16:03,018
where she was watching the recess to see her kid,

423
00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:04,428
if her kid was okay,

424
00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:07,418
came onto the playground and
actually pushed this kid down.

425
00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:10,368
In this world today, my mom would've got in trouble.

426
00:16:10,410 --> 00:16:12,408
But like that was my mom.

427
00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:14,350
Like, she had our back no matter what.

428
00:16:16,260 --> 00:16:17,718
And then this guy loses his mind.

429
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,968
He's like, "Hey, you tell that old Mexican hag

430
00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:21,472
to shut her mouth."

431
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,536
(audience gasps)

432
00:16:23,578 --> 00:16:24,790
(audience laughs)

433
00:16:24,832 --> 00:16:26,412
I know, I got out of the way.

434
00:16:26,454 --> 00:16:27,245
I got out of the way.

435
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,291
(audience laughs)

436
00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:30,833
I stepped to the side.

437
00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:32,208
(audience laughs)

438
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,588
Because I knew what was coming down.

439
00:16:33,630 --> 00:16:35,568
My mom was like, "(speaks foreign language)

440
00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:37,061
what the fuck?"

441
00:16:37,103 --> 00:16:38,715
(audience laughs)

442
00:16:38,757 --> 00:16:40,338
But she called for her own backup.

443
00:16:40,380 --> 00:16:43,398
She didn't need me, she did not need me.

444
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,017
She was like.

445
00:16:45,059 --> 00:16:47,642
(Vinnie yells)

446
00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:54,318
Mexicans from all over Colorado

447
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,315
were headed to the scene.

448
00:16:55,357 --> 00:16:59,707
(audience laughs and applauds)

449
00:16:59,749 --> 00:17:01,368
I was probably 16 years old

450
00:17:01,410 --> 00:17:03,648
and I was with one of our lieutenants

451
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,258
and we were going, we were following a canine track.

452
00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:07,133
There's a

453
00:17:08,340 --> 00:17:11,373
very modest, you know, like four foot, five foot fence.

454
00:17:12,625 --> 00:17:15,378
The dog clears the fence, following the track.

455
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:18,198
Scott clears the fence, following the track.

456
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,658
I hopped the fence, following the track

457
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:23,328
expecting that Vinnie was going to be behind me.

458
00:17:23,370 --> 00:17:25,636
And for some reason I couldn't get over this wall.

459
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:28,458
(audience laughs)

460
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:30,018
So I thought I'd get a running start,

461
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:31,668
but like I really don't have a vertical.

462
00:17:31,710 --> 00:17:34,578
I always say, you know, my vertical's like 40.

463
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,228
And people are like, you have a 40 inch vertical?

464
00:17:36,270 --> 00:17:37,520
I'm like, no centimeters.

465
00:17:39,060 --> 00:17:42,033
And then I hear, thump, thump, thump, boom.

466
00:17:43,309 --> 00:17:45,325
It's like, it's like Vinnie?

467
00:17:45,367 --> 00:17:46,908
All they could see was the top of my head

468
00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:49,537
running at this wall, da, da, da, da, boom.

469
00:17:49,579 --> 00:17:50,562
(audience laughs)

470
00:17:50,604 --> 00:17:52,111
Da, da, da, da, boom.

471
00:17:52,153 --> 00:17:55,278
And all I hear from the other side is

472
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,669
ah, ah,

473
00:17:56,711 --> 00:17:58,128
ah, ah.

474
00:17:58,170 --> 00:18:00,318
And then there's just some random person

475
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:02,158
that sounds like Count Chocula

476
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,318
in the middle of the neighborhood.

477
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,635
Ah,

478
00:18:04,677 --> 00:18:05,658
ah, ah.

479
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:08,050
And he can just hear me laughing, ha, ha, ha.

480
00:18:09,180 --> 00:18:12,973
And alls he can hear is this noise going ha, ha, ha, ha.

481
00:18:14,580 --> 00:18:15,768
And he looks over and it's Phil.

482
00:18:15,810 --> 00:18:16,938
At that moment, I was like,

483
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:18,888
there's no way in hell that I'm Mexican

484
00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:20,693
because if it was any kind of wall

485
00:18:20,735 --> 00:18:22,361
I should be able to go over it.

486
00:18:22,403 --> 00:18:24,108
(audience laughs)

487
00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:26,808
One night I was riding along with a deputy

488
00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:28,338
by the name of Dan Johnson

489
00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:31,878
and Dan always had the wherewithal to, you know,

490
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,618
tap me in the chest, punch me in the chest

491
00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:35,418
just to make sure I was wearing that vest.

492
00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:38,388
And one night he punched me in the chest

493
00:18:38,430 --> 00:18:40,638
and he felt something underneath it.

494
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,408
And what I had done is taken a boot knife

495
00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,118
and put it on the inside of my vest.

496
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:44,988
He gave me an option.

497
00:18:45,030 --> 00:18:47,778
He's like, "Look, you don't",

498
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:48,888
if you don't do this again,

499
00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:50,388
like it's not gonna be that big of a deal.

500
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:51,528
Just don't ever do it again.

501
00:18:51,570 --> 00:18:53,298
Or you could tell your advisor what happened

502
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,415
"and take the consequences that come with it."

503
00:18:56,457 --> 00:18:58,278
And so I chose the latter.

504
00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:59,568
This is the Explorer that I was.

505
00:18:59,610 --> 00:19:00,588
Every post has one of these,

506
00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:01,893
the know-it-all Explorer.

507
00:19:03,111 --> 00:19:04,878
(audience laughs)

508
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,278
I remember trying to call Phil
to see what was gonna happen

509
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,785
over the weekend and he was like,

510
00:19:08,827 --> 00:19:11,898
"I'll see you and talk to you when I'm back in the office."

511
00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:16,188
And Phil talks very deep and very matter of fact,

512
00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:17,898
the rules are the rules.

513
00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:21,048
- So I confronted Vinnie
about it and he acknowledged it.

514
00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:21,918
You know, he was wrong.

515
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:22,848
He knew he was wrong,

516
00:19:22,890 --> 00:19:25,248
he was not supposed to be carrying the knife.

517
00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:27,408
I said, "Well, this is a policy violation,

518
00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:28,668
I'll give you an option."

519
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:31,938
Said, "One, you can either resign from the program

520
00:19:31,980 --> 00:19:35,028
or two, I'll cite you for carrying a concealed weapon

521
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:37,368
and you deal with the consequences."

522
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,557
And I didn't hesitate for a second.

523
00:19:39,599 --> 00:19:41,448
I was like, "I will stay. I will get charged."

524
00:19:41,490 --> 00:19:44,028
Because I wanted to be a cop more than anything else.

525
00:19:44,070 --> 00:19:46,668
And this was a very hard lesson to learn

526
00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:47,658
at a young age.

527
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:50,148
He's just devastated that I was going to arrest him.

528
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:53,118
I said, "I'll just issue you a misdemeanor summons

529
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,018
and you'll have to deal with

530
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:55,548
the District Attorney's office."

531
00:19:55,590 --> 00:19:58,248
Well, without Vinnie's knowledge,

532
00:19:58,290 --> 00:20:01,548
of course I contacted the
Deputy DA that was in charge

533
00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:03,648
and kind of smoothed the waters.

534
00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:06,858
The Deputy DA, I'll never forget, was Amy Okubo

535
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:08,778
and there was all these other people around

536
00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:10,938
and I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life

537
00:20:10,980 --> 00:20:12,918
'cause she is reading me the riot act,

538
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,898
which I didn't realize Phil was facilitating

539
00:20:14,940 --> 00:20:17,748
and pulling the puppet strings behind the scenes.

540
00:20:17,790 --> 00:20:20,418
I believe he was given like a deferred prosecution

541
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:21,318
or something.

542
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,908
And he ultimately completed that

543
00:20:22,950 --> 00:20:25,248
and was returned to the good graces of the program.

544
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,588
But I don't think he's ever quite forgiven me

545
00:20:27,630 --> 00:20:29,718
for having arrested him.

546
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,968
I did learn a lesson in accountability

547
00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:34,038
and it made me who I am today.

548
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,078
But a lot of people, I just wanna say for the record,

549
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:37,908
Phil, a lot of people didn't agree

550
00:20:37,950 --> 00:20:39,408
with necessarily how you handled that.

551
00:20:39,450 --> 00:20:41,118
I've told you that.

552
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:44,658
But being the stocky, chubby kid

553
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:46,968
and coming from the background that I came from,

554
00:20:47,010 --> 00:20:49,763
I just, I think I just put myself out there more.

555
00:20:49,805 --> 00:20:52,388
(spooky music)

556
00:20:54,306 --> 00:20:56,118
(crowd screams)

557
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,888
And I said, "You know, we could do a haunted house."

558
00:20:57,930 --> 00:20:59,988
He proposed this Halloween haunted house

559
00:21:00,030 --> 00:21:01,608
several months in advance

560
00:21:01,650 --> 00:21:05,328
and Vinnie was always great with big ideas,

561
00:21:05,370 --> 00:21:07,188
sometimes a little short on execution.

562
00:21:07,230 --> 00:21:09,624
I said, "I'm not too sure about this."

563
00:21:09,666 --> 00:21:11,508
And he said, "No, no, I'll take care of everything.

564
00:21:11,550 --> 00:21:12,648
I'll get all the volunteers,

565
00:21:12,690 --> 00:21:15,828
I'll get all the materials solicited and donated

566
00:21:15,870 --> 00:21:17,388
and it'll be a great event."

567
00:21:17,430 --> 00:21:18,948
We just started building the foundation.

568
00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:20,508
I started getting people together

569
00:21:20,550 --> 00:21:22,638
and organizing volunteers to act.

570
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,038
And we built the haunted house around a DUI theme

571
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,885
so that it was a learning lesson for people.

572
00:21:27,927 --> 00:21:32,134
(crowd chatters indistinctly)

573
00:21:32,176 --> 00:21:35,676
He got probably well over 100 volunteers

574
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,268
among his friends, associates,

575
00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:41,508
campus contacts at the university.

576
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:42,978
He arranged for entertainment.

577
00:21:43,020 --> 00:21:46,308
He got area businesses to step in

578
00:21:46,350 --> 00:21:49,248
and provide kind of a trick or treat street

579
00:21:49,290 --> 00:21:51,498
where kids could come and safely collect treats

580
00:21:51,540 --> 00:21:53,268
and still enjoy the haunted house.

581
00:21:53,310 --> 00:21:54,798
It turned out to be really great.

582
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,328
And one of the things Phil,

583
00:21:56,370 --> 00:21:57,858
being the steadfast,

584
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,298
like he is that data guy.

585
00:21:59,340 --> 00:22:00,948
Like he's like, "Let's check out the data

586
00:22:00,990 --> 00:22:02,298
because we need data.

587
00:22:02,340 --> 00:22:04,998
You know we wanna make sure
everything's in the square box."

588
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:05,831
I'm not that guy.

589
00:22:05,873 --> 00:22:06,828
I'm the visionary.

590
00:22:06,870 --> 00:22:08,298
You say, "Hey, this can't be done."

591
00:22:08,340 --> 00:22:09,678
I'll be like, "No, it can be done."

592
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,908
Over the two nights, I think we netted over $2,800

593
00:22:13,950 --> 00:22:15,768
that he was subsequently able to donate

594
00:22:15,810 --> 00:22:17,598
to the children's hospital in Denver.

595
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,668
I really admire Phil

596
00:22:19,710 --> 00:22:22,488
showing the grit to trust me enough

597
00:22:22,530 --> 00:22:24,198
to let us complete the project.

598
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,328
And everybody had a good time

599
00:22:26,370 --> 00:22:28,428
and it was great for the community.

600
00:22:28,470 --> 00:22:29,538
My name is Vinnie Montez.

601
00:22:29,580 --> 00:22:30,738
I have mad love and respect

602
00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:32,028
for everybody that's in this room,

603
00:22:32,070 --> 00:22:33,528
the advisors and the Explorers.

604
00:22:33,570 --> 00:22:35,148
I started as one of you.

605
00:22:35,190 --> 00:22:37,488
I wish each and every one of you success

606
00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:39,513
and a great, healthy career.

607
00:22:41,638 --> 00:22:44,305
(pensive music)

608
00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:47,524
If you know anything about me

609
00:22:47,566 --> 00:22:49,368
or you've ever been around me as a cop,

610
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,018
if something's gonna go wrong

611
00:22:51,060 --> 00:22:52,488
or if there's going to be trouble,

612
00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:55,008
I'm gonna be right in the middle of it.

613
00:22:55,050 --> 00:22:56,538
And they affectionately refer to me at work

614
00:22:56,580 --> 00:22:58,220
as the shit magnet.

615
00:22:58,262 --> 00:23:00,378
(audience laughs)

616
00:23:00,420 --> 00:23:02,178
I'm that person in law enforcement.

617
00:23:02,220 --> 00:23:03,438
Like, if it's gonna happen,

618
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,288
I will be on duty or I will be the one that runs into it.

619
00:23:06,330 --> 00:23:08,088
You'll hear what cops say, "Put on the blinders."

620
00:23:08,130 --> 00:23:10,188
You know you're going to or from work, whatever,

621
00:23:10,230 --> 00:23:11,238
you're done for the day.

622
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:12,888
And I am not that guy.

623
00:23:12,930 --> 00:23:14,478
If there's something that's happening in front of me,

624
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:15,618
I'll deal with it.

625
00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:17,268
I also don't have to go look for it.

626
00:23:17,310 --> 00:23:19,188
It's common where I've gone out to lunch,

627
00:23:19,230 --> 00:23:21,438
we're clearing, walking outta the restaurant

628
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,478
and there is a guy picking up a lady

629
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,728
trying to take her away with him

630
00:23:25,770 --> 00:23:27,258
in a domestic violence situation.

631
00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:29,663
Next thing you know, we're running after these people.

632
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,808
What's made me successful on the job I think is

633
00:23:35,850 --> 00:23:37,750
my ability to communicate with people.

634
00:23:39,429 --> 00:23:40,458
I think I get that from my dad

635
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,798
and I've just honed that crafted art

636
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,168
over the last 25 years.

637
00:23:45,210 --> 00:23:46,218
I could talk to anybody.

638
00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:48,648
I was a negotiator for our agency at one point in time.

639
00:23:48,690 --> 00:23:50,538
And I believe the ability to relate to people,

640
00:23:50,580 --> 00:23:53,268
establish rapport quickly and find a commonality,

641
00:23:53,310 --> 00:23:55,158
what am I gonna be able to communicate with somebody

642
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,468
that's gonna make them feel at ease and comfortable?

643
00:23:57,510 --> 00:23:58,788
And so I think that's one of the things

644
00:23:58,830 --> 00:24:00,768
I can quickly, readily identify in people.

645
00:24:00,810 --> 00:24:03,738
And it's made me successful throughout my career.

646
00:24:03,780 --> 00:24:06,738
Vinnie's energy is very enthusiastic.

647
00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:07,788
Everything that he does,

648
00:24:07,830 --> 00:24:10,308
he wants to accomplish in a very big way.

649
00:24:10,350 --> 00:24:12,318
He knows what he wants

650
00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:14,208
and then he goes all the way in,

651
00:24:14,250 --> 00:24:15,948
feet first into the deep end,

652
00:24:15,990 --> 00:24:18,378
and he'll just keep charging until he is successful.

653
00:24:18,420 --> 00:24:19,760
He's just that guy.

654
00:24:19,802 --> 00:24:22,668
When you call and you need something, he's there.

655
00:24:22,710 --> 00:24:24,648
Vinnie is an absolute ball of energy.

656
00:24:24,690 --> 00:24:26,538
If you think Energizer Bunny,

657
00:24:26,580 --> 00:24:29,658
I guess he'd be kinda like the Energizer Kodiak bear.

658
00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:31,158
He's very serious.

659
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,728
He is the consummate professional cop.

660
00:24:34,770 --> 00:24:35,920
His generosity

661
00:24:37,020 --> 00:24:41,898
continually amazes me and
surprises me and pleases me.

662
00:24:41,940 --> 00:24:43,608
As a person, great friend,

663
00:24:43,650 --> 00:24:46,608
trust him with my life on calls, right?

664
00:24:46,650 --> 00:24:48,138
But he will do anything for you.

665
00:24:48,180 --> 00:24:49,488
Don't ever be afraid of failure.

666
00:24:49,530 --> 00:24:51,828
Don't ever be afraid of you making a mistake

667
00:24:51,870 --> 00:24:53,058
'cause I'm telling you right now,

668
00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:54,318
this guy in front of you has made

669
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:56,148
so many over the course of his life.

670
00:24:56,190 --> 00:24:57,558
But yet here I am still today

671
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,688
and the only reason I think I am still here today is

672
00:24:59,730 --> 00:25:01,998
because every time I took a step back,

673
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,338
I just push harder to get past that mistake,

674
00:25:04,380 --> 00:25:05,171
learn from it,

675
00:25:05,213 --> 00:25:06,888
take everything I possibly could learn from it

676
00:25:06,930 --> 00:25:08,380
and just keep moving forward.

677
00:25:11,740 --> 00:25:15,240
(pensive music continues)

678
00:25:17,610 --> 00:25:19,638
Millennial cops man, they're
trying to put on everything.

679
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,989
They got 36 pairs of handcuffs.

680
00:25:22,031 --> 00:25:23,478
(audience laughs)

681
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:24,498
They got ear pieces,

682
00:25:24,540 --> 00:25:26,868
they got like all kinds of extra tactical gear

683
00:25:26,910 --> 00:25:29,268
that they might need to deal with the scene.

684
00:25:29,310 --> 00:25:31,548
We would use

685
00:25:31,590 --> 00:25:34,788
micro cassette recorders to dictate

686
00:25:34,830 --> 00:25:36,918
the narratives of our reports.

687
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,598
Vinnie took a different vent

688
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,088
and making the most efficient use of his time,

689
00:25:41,130 --> 00:25:44,028
he took his recorder with him into the bathroom.

690
00:25:44,070 --> 00:25:45,828
You son of a bitch.

691
00:25:45,870 --> 00:25:48,978
And while he was contemplating other things,

692
00:25:49,020 --> 00:25:51,318
he would tape the narrative to his report.

693
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:55,848
Well, when he submitted the tape to the typing pool,

694
00:25:55,890 --> 00:25:57,588
they quickly determined

695
00:25:57,630 --> 00:25:59,808
that he wasn't sitting at his desk

696
00:25:59,850 --> 00:26:02,538
based upon all the other ambient sounds.

697
00:26:02,580 --> 00:26:03,695
Listen up, Millennials.

698
00:26:03,737 --> 00:26:04,883
Let me just tell you this.

699
00:26:06,150 --> 00:26:09,536
The day you start to sneak
in emojis into your reports.

700
00:26:09,578 --> 00:26:12,438
(audience laughs)

701
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,123
That's when I'm gonna drive away.

702
00:26:15,030 --> 00:26:16,215
I'm gonna be reading reports.

703
00:26:16,257 --> 00:26:18,978
I'm like, what in the hell is this?

704
00:26:19,020 --> 00:26:20,328
What are you talking about Sarge?

705
00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:22,218
It's a drunk emoji, drunk emoji,

706
00:26:22,260 --> 00:26:23,884
vomit emoji.

707
00:26:23,926 --> 00:26:26,759
(audience laughs)

708
00:26:30,990 --> 00:26:33,768
Made it to the jail, poop emoji, poop emoji.

709
00:26:33,810 --> 00:26:37,038
- Overnight his fellow
detectives took his office cubicle

710
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,568
and turned it into a bathroom.

711
00:26:38,610 --> 00:26:39,798
They brought in a commode,

712
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,628
they brought in toilet brushes,

713
00:26:41,670 --> 00:26:44,658
they brought in toilet paper, towels, the works

714
00:26:44,700 --> 00:26:46,308
and decorated his office for him

715
00:26:46,350 --> 00:26:47,748
so that he would feel more at home

716
00:26:47,790 --> 00:26:50,118
the next time that he was
going to have to tape a report.

717
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:51,588
Ah, ah,

718
00:26:51,630 --> 00:26:52,893
ah, ah.

719
00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:54,998
Yeah, thanks Phil.

720
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:55,831
(Phil laughs)

721
00:26:55,873 --> 00:26:58,956
(upbeat Latin music)

722
00:27:31,449 --> 00:27:32,282
Mm.

723
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,415
Food is a really big deal to me.

724
00:27:35,457 --> 00:27:36,455
And the reason it's a big deal is

725
00:27:36,497 --> 00:27:39,018
'cause it's part of my family and my heritage.

726
00:27:39,060 --> 00:27:42,558
Growing up with chili verde and a pork green chili

727
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:45,018
and just the things that I grew up loving

728
00:27:45,060 --> 00:27:46,301
that my family would make.

729
00:27:46,343 --> 00:27:48,168
I like to eat a lot of good food, right?

730
00:27:48,210 --> 00:27:50,208
My mom's always like, "Mijo, you like to eat too much,

731
00:27:50,250 --> 00:27:52,000
you need to eat a little bit less."

732
00:27:53,670 --> 00:27:55,165
But in the very next breath she's like,

733
00:27:55,207 --> 00:27:55,998
"Come over tonight,

734
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,908
we're gonna have enchiladas, sopaipillas."

735
00:27:57,950 --> 00:27:59,808
(audience laughs)

736
00:27:59,850 --> 00:28:02,058
Growing up in Boulder, it was very unique for me.

737
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:04,938
I remember going to one of
my very first friend's houses

738
00:28:04,980 --> 00:28:06,978
and I think the thing that I found was really weird is

739
00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:10,038
I was introduced to the
concept of the actual vegetable

740
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:10,968
in its raw form.

741
00:28:11,010 --> 00:28:12,528
Like, 'cause people in Boulder, Colorado,

742
00:28:12,570 --> 00:28:13,788
they eat really healthy.

743
00:28:13,830 --> 00:28:16,008
For me to see a lot of vegetables on the plate

744
00:28:16,050 --> 00:28:18,048
and not have like the normal beans

745
00:28:18,090 --> 00:28:19,458
and rice and tortillas,

746
00:28:19,500 --> 00:28:21,198
that was unique to me.

747
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,688
Vinnie can pack away food,

748
00:28:23,730 --> 00:28:26,538
all these activities, crime
prevention, community events,

749
00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:29,898
which puts us in front of food all the time.

750
00:28:29,940 --> 00:28:31,818
I knew when I ordered from Sonic,

751
00:28:31,860 --> 00:28:35,025
Vinnie would require two,
everybody else would get one.

752
00:28:35,067 --> 00:28:38,715
And this was a pattern that went on reputationally

753
00:28:38,757 --> 00:28:40,818
for years and decades.

754
00:28:40,860 --> 00:28:42,480
Nothing's changed.

755
00:28:42,522 --> 00:28:43,428
Nothing's changed.

756
00:28:43,470 --> 00:28:45,108
I like ice cream,

757
00:28:45,150 --> 00:28:47,523
especially in an ice cream cone.

758
00:28:49,230 --> 00:28:50,508
When you're in full uniform,

759
00:28:50,550 --> 00:28:51,768
you're a big guy like me,

760
00:28:51,810 --> 00:28:52,907
weigh about 200 hundred and.

761
00:28:52,949 --> 00:28:54,023
(Vinnie mumbles)

762
00:28:54,065 --> 00:28:54,856
Pounds.

763
00:28:54,898 --> 00:28:57,168
(audience laughs)

764
00:28:57,210 --> 00:28:59,958
It's rough, you can't walk
into your local ice cream parlor

765
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,800
and be like, "Hey, gimme a triple decker cone."

766
00:29:02,842 --> 00:29:03,798
(audience laughs)

767
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:05,688
He'd order one meal and then he'd be done

768
00:29:05,730 --> 00:29:06,888
and he'd order another meal.

769
00:29:06,930 --> 00:29:07,818
2:00 or 3:00 in the morning

770
00:29:07,860 --> 00:29:09,408
and he's ordering pizza and chicken wings.

771
00:29:09,450 --> 00:29:12,048
But what you can do if you're Vinnie Montez is

772
00:29:12,090 --> 00:29:14,928
you could go to your local McDonald's

773
00:29:14,970 --> 00:29:16,973
and go through the drive-through.

774
00:29:17,015 --> 00:29:18,138
(audience laughs)

775
00:29:18,180 --> 00:29:19,578
So I snuck to the McDonald's

776
00:29:19,620 --> 00:29:21,498
and I went through the drive-through

777
00:29:21,540 --> 00:29:23,568
and I paid for my ice cream cone.

778
00:29:23,610 --> 00:29:25,218
And I pulled up to the window

779
00:29:25,260 --> 00:29:26,808
and as I looked through the window

780
00:29:26,850 --> 00:29:29,508
there was a dude inside making my ice cream cone,

781
00:29:29,550 --> 00:29:31,008
you know, swirly,

782
00:29:31,050 --> 00:29:32,328
swirly,

783
00:29:32,370 --> 00:29:33,161
swirly.

784
00:29:33,203 --> 00:29:34,608
And I'm outside the car,

785
00:29:34,650 --> 00:29:35,868
higher,

786
00:29:35,910 --> 00:29:37,158
higher,

787
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:37,991
higher.

788
00:29:38,033 --> 00:29:40,483
And he looked at me and he's like, "Yeah,

789
00:29:40,525 --> 00:29:41,838
yeah."

790
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,298
Go out to dinner with Vinnie at a restaurant,

791
00:29:44,340 --> 00:29:47,328
you'd, we'd all order, we'd all have a great time.

792
00:29:47,370 --> 00:29:48,525
You'd feel like things were wrapping up

793
00:29:48,567 --> 00:29:50,418
and all of a sudden Vinnie would call the waiter

794
00:29:50,460 --> 00:29:54,408
or the waitress over and
order an entire additional meal.

795
00:29:54,450 --> 00:29:55,728
You just kind of played along with it

796
00:29:55,770 --> 00:29:57,288
and Vinnie would have a second meal.

797
00:29:57,330 --> 00:29:59,605
So eventually I kind of teased Vinnie and I said,

798
00:29:59,647 --> 00:30:02,478
"Hey Vinnie, I've got the perfect diet plan for you.

799
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:05,238
It's one meal per meal."

800
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,688
We got this going on and I look ahead,

801
00:30:08,730 --> 00:30:10,678
the entrance to McDonald's,

802
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,313
and I see a guy collapse to the ground

803
00:30:14,350 --> 00:30:16,450
and my heart sunk.

804
00:30:16,492 --> 00:30:18,409
Because I was like, no.

805
00:30:19,454 --> 00:30:20,895
(audience laughs)

806
00:30:20,937 --> 00:30:23,559
But I pulled forward and I did my job

807
00:30:23,601 --> 00:30:24,798
and I got out and I started rendering,

808
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,521
hey, what I haven't told you is where I work.

809
00:30:27,563 --> 00:30:30,468
I'm not just a supervisor, I'm a commander.

810
00:30:30,510 --> 00:30:33,618
And when a commander calls
out with a situation like this,

811
00:30:33,660 --> 00:30:36,798
everybody's gotta come and see what's going on.

812
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:40,158
So some of my younger deputies
with their recruit showed up,

813
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,248
the city heard what was going on and showed up.

814
00:30:43,290 --> 00:30:46,104
The university heard what was going on and showed up.

815
00:30:46,146 --> 00:30:47,431
(audience laughs)

816
00:30:47,473 --> 00:30:50,442
A fire truck with like 75 guys showed up.

817
00:30:50,484 --> 00:30:51,858
(audience laughs)

818
00:30:51,900 --> 00:30:55,038
I've got a couple dozen
people huddled around one dude

819
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,708
for a very minor medical issue.

820
00:30:57,750 --> 00:31:00,138
And as I look across the huddle,

821
00:31:00,180 --> 00:31:02,748
I'll be damned if I didn't see the dude

822
00:31:02,790 --> 00:31:04,713
that was making my ice cream cone.

823
00:31:05,610 --> 00:31:07,876
And he holds it up in the air and he is like.

824
00:31:07,918 --> 00:31:10,631
(audience laughs)

825
00:31:10,673 --> 00:31:13,308
The funny story is going to Taco Bell's dinner time,

826
00:31:13,350 --> 00:31:16,188
which I think it was 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning.

827
00:31:16,230 --> 00:31:19,068
We pull through Taco Bell and you know,

828
00:31:19,110 --> 00:31:21,798
going back to the food stories and he would order,

829
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,539
I mean, he would order for a family at Taco Bell.

830
00:31:24,581 --> 00:31:27,190
♪ Some people want Taco John's ♪

831
00:31:27,232 --> 00:31:30,607
♪ And other people want Del Taco ♪

832
00:31:30,649 --> 00:31:33,652
♪ But everything means nothing ♪

833
00:31:33,694 --> 00:31:36,988
♪ If I ain't got Taco Bell ♪

834
00:31:37,030 --> 00:31:37,821
♪ Yeah ♪

835
00:31:37,863 --> 00:31:40,950
Has some interaction with the teller.

836
00:31:40,992 --> 00:31:43,218
Oh no, I like a stronger coffee, espresso.

837
00:31:43,260 --> 00:31:44,628
You have a espresso?

838
00:31:44,670 --> 00:31:46,818
Oh yes, we can get you an Americano.

839
00:31:46,860 --> 00:31:50,058
Oh yes, I like Americano for like big strong bear.

840
00:31:50,100 --> 00:31:51,798
It's never just ordering.

841
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:53,508
He always has to be messing with somebody

842
00:31:53,550 --> 00:31:54,903
or making somebody's day.

843
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,300
Citizens had their phones out.

844
00:31:58,342 --> 00:31:59,133
(audience laughs)

845
00:31:59,175 --> 00:32:01,221
Body cameras were rolling.

846
00:32:01,263 --> 00:32:03,306
(audience laughs)

847
00:32:03,348 --> 00:32:05,851
And I felt like the world was closing in on me.

848
00:32:05,893 --> 00:32:06,684
(audience laughs)

849
00:32:06,726 --> 00:32:09,003
So I took that ice cream cone and I was like.

850
00:32:10,064 --> 00:32:11,398
(Vinnie moans)

851
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,273
(audience laughs)

852
00:32:16,627 --> 00:32:18,654
Best ice cream cone I've ever had.

853
00:32:18,696 --> 00:32:20,748
(audience laughs)

854
00:32:20,790 --> 00:32:24,078
- Vinnie calls us cake-eating civilians, actually.

855
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:27,768
I think in a sense we're kind of the naive,

856
00:32:27,810 --> 00:32:31,128
non-police officers in his life in a lot of ways.

857
00:32:31,170 --> 00:32:33,168
He doesn't have all cop friends,

858
00:32:33,210 --> 00:32:35,460
but like we are very much like, you know,

859
00:32:36,300 --> 00:32:37,398
in his inner circle role

860
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,340
and he's constantly like telling
us what we're unaware of.

861
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:42,468
I hate the Subaru driver.

862
00:32:42,510 --> 00:32:43,567
Why?

863
00:32:43,609 --> 00:32:45,708
Because you're always
blocking the fast lane, that's it.

864
00:32:45,750 --> 00:32:46,728
It was one of those things

865
00:32:46,770 --> 00:32:48,648
that maybe living vicariously through him,

866
00:32:48,690 --> 00:32:52,098
called him this law enforcement nerd.

867
00:32:52,140 --> 00:32:53,508
We actually had this situation

868
00:32:53,550 --> 00:32:56,238
that it was a riotous situation where I worked

869
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,278
and people were getting all like crazy,

870
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,278
you know, and yelling and
screaming and blah, blah, blah.

871
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:04,788
I push his buttons as, you know, up to a certain level

872
00:33:04,830 --> 00:33:06,048
and then I know when to back off

873
00:33:06,090 --> 00:33:07,938
because he still has that training still.

874
00:33:07,980 --> 00:33:10,638
Although he might be shorter than me,

875
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,918
I know he has still got moves and stuff like that.

876
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:14,298
And they're like, "We're gonna call out the riot team,

877
00:33:14,340 --> 00:33:15,588
we're gonna get the riot team out here.

878
00:33:15,630 --> 00:33:17,178
We're gonna shoot 'em with a bunch of pepper balls."

879
00:33:17,220 --> 00:33:18,588
I'm like what the heck are you gonna shoot 'em

880
00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:20,208
with pepper balls for?

881
00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:23,055
Just a bunch of Subaru drivers,
why are you gonna do that?

882
00:33:23,097 --> 00:33:23,888
(audience laughs)

883
00:33:23,930 --> 00:33:25,983
It's a good waste of pepper balls.

884
00:33:28,170 --> 00:33:29,568
Shoot 'em with gluten balls,

885
00:33:29,610 --> 00:33:30,740
that'll take care of the problem.

886
00:33:30,782 --> 00:33:33,186
(audience laughs and applauds)

887
00:33:33,228 --> 00:33:35,618
(Vinnie pops mouth)

888
00:33:35,660 --> 00:33:38,577
(audience laughs)

889
00:33:39,528 --> 00:33:41,748
He is funny, he's a good person to be around.

890
00:33:41,790 --> 00:33:45,888
He is very relaxed and just very genuine,

891
00:33:45,930 --> 00:33:47,088
I guess I would say.

892
00:33:47,130 --> 00:33:48,408
Like, you know who you're gonna get.

893
00:33:48,450 --> 00:33:50,118
And then he reciprocates that

894
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:52,398
in terms of he just is who he is

895
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,888
and then he's just fine with whoever the person

896
00:33:54,930 --> 00:33:56,478
that he's with is.

897
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,388
And he respects that and
gives people their individuality

898
00:33:59,430 --> 00:34:01,278
and their freedom to be whoever they wanna be.

899
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,528
So I really appreciate that about him

900
00:34:03,570 --> 00:34:04,548
and I think that that's the thing

901
00:34:04,590 --> 00:34:07,038
that kind of attracts me to him the most.

902
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,078
Catrina and I are like night and day.

903
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:12,908
I'm very outgoing, I love to be around people.

904
00:34:12,950 --> 00:34:15,258
He can come up to anybody and start talking to them

905
00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:16,848
and have a conversation with them

906
00:34:16,890 --> 00:34:18,078
and I think he really enjoys

907
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,118
engaging with the community in that way.

908
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,668
She would like to be in a room

909
00:34:22,710 --> 00:34:24,588
potentially most of the time by herself,

910
00:34:24,630 --> 00:34:25,968
reading a book for hours

911
00:34:26,010 --> 00:34:28,368
and she is very happy doing that.

912
00:34:28,410 --> 00:34:31,398
I'm like the stereotypical girl in the relationship

913
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,273
because

914
00:34:33,660 --> 00:34:34,848
I don't know why I'm just telling you,

915
00:34:34,890 --> 00:34:36,348
like I'm the one that likes to ask

916
00:34:36,390 --> 00:34:37,848
a lot of questions and stuff.

917
00:34:37,890 --> 00:34:39,618
Like, we'll be watching "Law & Order"

918
00:34:39,660 --> 00:34:41,335
and I'm the typical cop where I'm like,

919
00:34:41,377 --> 00:34:43,548
"This is crazy, you can't do that without a warrant."

920
00:34:43,590 --> 00:34:46,188
Catrina does not find my brand of comedy

921
00:34:46,230 --> 00:34:48,514
to be funny whatsoever.

922
00:34:48,556 --> 00:34:52,188
So Vinnie and I don't like the same kind of comedy,

923
00:34:52,230 --> 00:34:53,021
for sure.

924
00:34:53,063 --> 00:34:53,928
I mean I think he's funny

925
00:34:53,970 --> 00:34:56,418
and I think that he does a
really good job at what he does,

926
00:34:56,460 --> 00:34:57,888
but at the same time,

927
00:34:57,930 --> 00:34:59,925
like that's not the kind of comedy that I like.

928
00:34:59,967 --> 00:35:02,058
And I'll ask her questions like, "What are they doing?

929
00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:02,958
Why are they doing that?

930
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:03,791
What's going on?"

931
00:35:03,833 --> 00:35:04,624
She's like, "I don't know.

932
00:35:04,666 --> 00:35:06,031
How about we both watch."

933
00:35:06,073 --> 00:35:07,345
(audience laughs)

934
00:35:07,387 --> 00:35:08,778
"And we'll figure it out together.

935
00:35:08,820 --> 00:35:09,611
What do you say?"

936
00:35:09,653 --> 00:35:13,038
I know when I could actually make her laugh that

937
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,048
that is gonna be solid gold.

938
00:35:15,090 --> 00:35:17,118
Because if it bridges the gap

939
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,848
of what I find funny and then what she finds funny,

940
00:35:19,890 --> 00:35:21,798
then it's gonna have a universal appeal.

941
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:23,688
I was raised in a very traditional Mexican family.

942
00:35:23,730 --> 00:35:25,818
There was a lot of affection and love there

943
00:35:25,860 --> 00:35:28,668
and, but my better half, man,

944
00:35:28,710 --> 00:35:30,108
she doesn't like to say that back to me

945
00:35:30,150 --> 00:35:31,938
when she's at work because she's very professional.

946
00:35:31,980 --> 00:35:33,048
She's a lawyer.

947
00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:36,813
And so I get her on the phone and I'm like, "I love you."

948
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:39,271
(audience laughs)

949
00:35:39,313 --> 00:35:40,904
And she's like, "Uh-huh".

950
00:35:40,946 --> 00:35:43,908
(audience laughs)

951
00:35:43,950 --> 00:35:44,741
And I'm like, "Do you have somebody

952
00:35:44,783 --> 00:35:45,678
in your office right now?"

953
00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:46,970
And she's like, "Uh-huh".

954
00:35:48,150 --> 00:35:49,608
And so like as loud as I could be

955
00:35:49,650 --> 00:35:51,348
so I hope that people in the office building,

956
00:35:51,390 --> 00:35:52,940
all they hear is, "I love you."

957
00:35:57,510 --> 00:35:59,228
And she's like, "I'm going now."

958
00:35:59,270 --> 00:36:00,318
(audience laughs)

959
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:02,268
One Halloween night I'm driving down the Boulevard

960
00:36:02,310 --> 00:36:05,268
and I see a lady dressed up like a white cotton ball

961
00:36:05,310 --> 00:36:06,363
on the corner.

962
00:36:07,290 --> 00:36:09,648
And I was like, "What the hell is this?"

963
00:36:09,690 --> 00:36:11,620
So I rolled up on her like I do.

964
00:36:11,662 --> 00:36:15,191
(Vinnie whoops like siren)

965
00:36:15,233 --> 00:36:18,108
(audience laughs)

966
00:36:18,150 --> 00:36:20,105
You guys like the siren noise or what?

967
00:36:20,147 --> 00:36:20,938
(audience laughs)

968
00:36:20,980 --> 00:36:22,398
Right next to my driver's window,

969
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,768
like three feet away from me is this girl,

970
00:36:24,810 --> 00:36:28,053
nice looking girl, takes care of herself.

971
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:30,978
She looks like she's wearing a cotton ball

972
00:36:31,020 --> 00:36:31,908
'cause it's just like, you know,

973
00:36:31,950 --> 00:36:34,833
from the neck to the upper thigh.

974
00:36:35,700 --> 00:36:38,268
And I'm like, my window's down 'cause it was nice out.

975
00:36:38,310 --> 00:36:41,748
And I look at her and I go, "What is this costume?"

976
00:36:41,790 --> 00:36:45,618
And she's like, "I'm a loofah and you're a dirty cop."

977
00:36:45,660 --> 00:36:47,448
What would that interaction look like

978
00:36:47,490 --> 00:36:51,768
with a police officer who
starts talking to this person?

979
00:36:51,810 --> 00:36:53,555
So I rolled up on her, I'm like.

980
00:36:53,597 --> 00:36:54,975
(Vinnie whoops like siren)

981
00:36:55,017 --> 00:36:56,535
And I'm like, "What are you?"

982
00:36:56,577 --> 00:36:57,791
And she's like, "Me?"

983
00:36:57,833 --> 00:37:01,158
And I'm like, "Yeah you, what are you?"

984
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:04,324
She's like, "I am a loofah."

985
00:37:04,366 --> 00:37:07,199
(audience laughs)

986
00:37:12,253 --> 00:37:14,958
"Are you a dirty officer?"

987
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,917
(audience laughs)

988
00:37:21,900 --> 00:37:23,094
Maybe.

989
00:37:23,136 --> 00:37:23,927
(audience laughs)

990
00:37:23,969 --> 00:37:24,918
She starts rubbing her costume

991
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:26,538
all over the side of my car.

992
00:37:26,580 --> 00:37:28,098
She goes around to the front of the car

993
00:37:28,140 --> 00:37:30,498
and I was like, "What the fuck?"

994
00:37:30,540 --> 00:37:34,968
So I turn on my spotlight
and I'm like trying to do like a,

995
00:37:35,010 --> 00:37:36,528
like a strobe light with it,

996
00:37:36,570 --> 00:37:39,168
like flashing it around and I turned on my overheads

997
00:37:39,210 --> 00:37:41,088
and everybody that's in the crosswalk

998
00:37:41,130 --> 00:37:43,608
and on either side of the street, they're like "Ah."

999
00:37:43,650 --> 00:37:44,958
And she's up in the front of my car

1000
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,208
just rubbing all over the front bumper

1001
00:37:47,250 --> 00:37:48,438
and she starts dancing.

1002
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:49,458
So I grabbed the PA,

1003
00:37:49,500 --> 00:37:51,318
I turned on all the strobe lights in my cop car

1004
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:52,488
and I'm all.

1005
00:37:52,530 --> 00:37:53,823
(Vinnie beatboxes)

1006
00:37:53,865 --> 00:37:55,398
(audience laughs)

1007
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,468
It's like, ah, shit, gonna make some money.

1008
00:37:57,510 --> 00:37:58,848
I told Vinnie that story

1009
00:37:58,890 --> 00:38:01,848
and he turns it into one of his comedy jokes.

1010
00:38:01,890 --> 00:38:03,948
But he was telling it so often,

1011
00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:06,461
he started to believe that it was about him

1012
00:38:06,503 --> 00:38:07,465
'cause we were talking about it and he's like,

1013
00:38:07,507 --> 00:38:09,342
"Yeah when I saw her and this, that,"

1014
00:38:09,384 --> 00:38:12,608
and I'm like, wait, you think this happened to you?

1015
00:38:12,650 --> 00:38:13,848
I, that was a story that happened to me.

1016
00:38:13,890 --> 00:38:15,198
I told you about it.

1017
00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:16,128
And he's like, "What?"

1018
00:38:16,170 --> 00:38:19,758
That is an example of just taking all these things

1019
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,168
that you see here

1020
00:38:21,210 --> 00:38:23,448
and your friends' experiences,

1021
00:38:23,490 --> 00:38:24,618
Sam in particular,

1022
00:38:24,660 --> 00:38:26,928
and then morphing just that original experience

1023
00:38:26,970 --> 00:38:28,608
that you had with the contact with a loofah

1024
00:38:28,650 --> 00:38:30,798
and morphing it into an entire bit

1025
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:32,118
that brings the audience into it

1026
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,508
and culminates in a very nice
reveal at the end to you know,

1027
00:38:35,550 --> 00:38:37,203
release that built-up energy.

1028
00:38:40,202 --> 00:38:42,785
(somber music)

1029
00:38:44,091 --> 00:38:45,168
You know as police officers,

1030
00:38:45,210 --> 00:38:48,010
probably the one thing that you may not know is

1031
00:38:48,930 --> 00:38:50,688
coming up in law enforcement,

1032
00:38:50,730 --> 00:38:52,878
talking about your mental health was taboo.

1033
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,281
I allowed the job to consume me 100%.

1034
00:38:55,323 --> 00:39:00,323
From the time that I first
became a deputy until 2010-ish,

1035
00:39:00,990 --> 00:39:02,838
I was Vinnie Montez the cop.

1036
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:04,518
My sole identity was my job.

1037
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:08,598
I had spent my entire adolescence
learning about the craft,

1038
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:09,828
wanting to be in the craft

1039
00:39:09,870 --> 00:39:10,998
of being a law enforcement officer

1040
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:11,868
and then doing it.

1041
00:39:11,910 --> 00:39:13,518
I'd see him pace around at night

1042
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,288
'cause the job in his mind,

1043
00:39:15,330 --> 00:39:18,543
he living it in his mind, like what he sees.

1044
00:39:19,590 --> 00:39:21,048
It can't be healthy.

1045
00:39:21,090 --> 00:39:22,788
- Now the trade-offs are

1046
00:39:22,830 --> 00:39:25,788
you can absolutely be wonderful in doing that job,

1047
00:39:25,830 --> 00:39:27,858
but if there's no balance in your life,

1048
00:39:27,900 --> 00:39:30,948
you're gonna end up experiencing

1049
00:39:30,990 --> 00:39:32,328
the negative outcomes from that.

1050
00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:33,441
I'm very proud to tell you

1051
00:39:33,483 --> 00:39:35,898
that I don't care what people say

1052
00:39:35,940 --> 00:39:38,178
when I say I've got mental health problems.

1053
00:39:38,220 --> 00:39:39,348
I cope with those things.

1054
00:39:39,390 --> 00:39:42,288
It doesn't mean I'm any worse than I was before.

1055
00:39:42,330 --> 00:39:45,198
It's just an acknowledgment of the struggles

1056
00:39:45,240 --> 00:39:47,178
that I've dealt with during my career.

1057
00:39:47,220 --> 00:39:50,268
I don't know that at the time I would've recognized it.

1058
00:39:50,310 --> 00:39:54,138
It was probably more now in
hindsight as he talks about it.

1059
00:39:54,180 --> 00:39:56,328
So I think it was probably just as he started

1060
00:39:56,370 --> 00:39:57,423
to talk about it.

1061
00:40:08,490 --> 00:40:09,918
Sorry.

1062
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:11,958
Some of the incidents he's talked about,

1063
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,508
you could tell that we're
really having an impact on him.

1064
00:40:14,550 --> 00:40:17,208
I'm so proud of him for like finding that niche,

1065
00:40:17,250 --> 00:40:19,128
like realizing in his self

1066
00:40:19,170 --> 00:40:22,428
like what is going on and being open about it.

1067
00:40:22,470 --> 00:40:25,068
- There's always been a stigma
about mental health, period.

1068
00:40:25,110 --> 00:40:27,078
What I probably didn't realize is

1069
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,028
as much until recently is

1070
00:40:29,070 --> 00:40:32,208
there's even more a stigma and a reluctance

1071
00:40:32,250 --> 00:40:35,013
to open up about it when you're a police officer.

1072
00:40:37,500 --> 00:40:39,530
Yeah, just as he started to talk about it,

1073
00:40:39,572 --> 00:40:41,072
then I noticed it.

1074
00:40:43,950 --> 00:40:45,498
I think when you see stuff like that,

1075
00:40:45,540 --> 00:40:46,908
you have to have an outlet

1076
00:40:46,950 --> 00:40:48,618
and if you don't have an outlet,

1077
00:40:48,660 --> 00:40:49,998
that stuff will chew you up.

1078
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:53,088
All of that stacked up on all of us

1079
00:40:53,130 --> 00:40:55,038
and we all have different things that we use

1080
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:56,688
to kind of deal with that.

1081
00:40:56,730 --> 00:40:58,518
He landed on comedy.

1082
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:03,198
- Eventually, you know, I just
started slowly sharing things

1083
00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:05,988
and felt comfortable where I didn't care

1084
00:41:06,030 --> 00:41:08,118
if people knew I was going to counseling.

1085
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,575
And now today, fast forward to 2023

1086
00:41:10,617 --> 00:41:12,348
and especially over the last, I don't know,

1087
00:41:12,390 --> 00:41:14,208
five, six, seven years,

1088
00:41:14,250 --> 00:41:15,498
I don't care who knows.

1089
00:41:15,540 --> 00:41:17,298
If you're struggling, there's people to your left

1090
00:41:17,340 --> 00:41:19,158
and to your right who want to help you.

1091
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,438
And if I can spend just a couple seconds on a stage

1092
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:22,938
sharing that during my show,

1093
00:41:22,980 --> 00:41:25,449
well then that's the way it's gonna be, family, all right?

1094
00:41:25,491 --> 00:41:29,408
(audience applauds and cheers)

1095
00:41:32,730 --> 00:41:35,388
People really enjoy his message.

1096
00:41:35,430 --> 00:41:38,388
People really enjoy his comedy in a very big way.

1097
00:41:38,430 --> 00:41:40,248
And then at the same time,

1098
00:41:40,290 --> 00:41:43,338
he's addressing this elephant in the room

1099
00:41:43,380 --> 00:41:45,528
in the law enforcement
industry around mental health.

1100
00:41:45,570 --> 00:41:48,858
You don't want to be this superman, superwoman crap

1101
00:41:48,900 --> 00:41:50,238
and trying to keep everything in.

1102
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:51,708
So he makes people realize,

1103
00:41:51,750 --> 00:41:55,518
hey, it's okay to have some hard times

1104
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,338
and needing help to discuss these things

1105
00:41:58,380 --> 00:42:00,978
because it's about your own personal health too.

1106
00:42:01,020 --> 00:42:02,358
I don't think I ever really had

1107
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:06,078
one acute instance where I felt like wow,

1108
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:08,508
this one really affected my mental health.

1109
00:42:08,550 --> 00:42:10,308
But I saw a lot of things

1110
00:42:10,350 --> 00:42:11,928
when I was a very young person

1111
00:42:11,970 --> 00:42:15,408
that nobody was ever checking on me about.

1112
00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:18,228
Several years ago when I
was a field training officer,

1113
00:42:18,270 --> 00:42:20,950
my recruit and I were dispatched up to the mountains

1114
00:42:21,870 --> 00:42:24,558
where a guy pulled over on the side of the road,

1115
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,268
got out of his car,

1116
00:42:26,310 --> 00:42:27,828
sat in the passenger seat,

1117
00:42:27,870 --> 00:42:30,138
put a double barrel shotgun to his chin

1118
00:42:30,180 --> 00:42:31,458
and pulled the trigger.

1119
00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:34,578
You start seeing things and hearing things

1120
00:42:34,620 --> 00:42:36,888
and you're actually the one in the call

1121
00:42:36,930 --> 00:42:39,048
dealing with the circumstances.

1122
00:42:39,090 --> 00:42:41,718
And like we've talked about earlier, I'm a shit magnet.

1123
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:43,460
So I mean, everything comes to me.

1124
00:42:44,490 --> 00:42:46,773
Nothing was left from here up.

1125
00:42:48,150 --> 00:42:49,758
So the detective gets there

1126
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,038
because we have to identify the decedent,

1127
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:53,778
the person who passed away,

1128
00:42:53,820 --> 00:42:55,413
it's what we have to do.

1129
00:42:56,310 --> 00:42:58,458
He starts to root around his pockets,

1130
00:42:58,500 --> 00:43:00,168
finds the gentleman's wallet,

1131
00:43:00,210 --> 00:43:01,788
pulls it out,

1132
00:43:01,830 --> 00:43:05,868
reaches in, grabs his driver's license, pulls that out,

1133
00:43:05,910 --> 00:43:07,885
puts his thumb over the guy's head and says,

1134
00:43:07,927 --> 00:43:10,098
"Do you think this is our guy right here?"

1135
00:43:10,140 --> 00:43:12,973
(audience laughs)

1136
00:43:16,050 --> 00:43:17,320
That dark humor

1137
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,358
comes from a lot of pain

1138
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:21,858
and not just me,

1139
00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:24,288
but all the men and women

1140
00:43:24,330 --> 00:43:26,688
who've ever served in this uniform.

1141
00:43:26,730 --> 00:43:28,188
That's how we survive.

1142
00:43:28,230 --> 00:43:30,797
And humor is our way of coping with things.

1143
00:43:30,839 --> 00:43:35,839
♪ He woke up the same way ♪

1144
00:43:35,914 --> 00:43:39,585
♪ He done a million times ♪

1145
00:43:39,627 --> 00:43:42,628
♪ Grabbed a cup of coffee, hugged his kids ♪

1146
00:43:42,670 --> 00:43:44,898
♪ And he kissed his wife goodbye ♪

1147
00:43:44,940 --> 00:43:47,028
And we finally write this song

1148
00:43:47,070 --> 00:43:51,708
and it talks about a cop going to work,

1149
00:43:51,750 --> 00:43:53,373
leaving his family behind,

1150
00:43:54,780 --> 00:43:56,808
making the ultimate sacrifice.

1151
00:43:56,850 --> 00:43:58,548
We had no idea where we were going.

1152
00:43:58,590 --> 00:44:00,498
I started finally just playing some chords

1153
00:44:00,540 --> 00:44:01,788
and he's like, "Okay."

1154
00:44:01,830 --> 00:44:05,388
You know, he liked that and I'd figured a few things out

1155
00:44:05,430 --> 00:44:06,708
after a couple of sessions

1156
00:44:06,750 --> 00:44:08,598
and started getting the idea of the song,

1157
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:09,888
the story that we are writing

1158
00:44:09,930 --> 00:44:13,338
about this officer that basically
doesn't come home one day

1159
00:44:13,380 --> 00:44:16,668
and then kind of the big
fanfare that happens after that.

1160
00:44:16,710 --> 00:44:18,138
Just the struggles that officers go through

1161
00:44:18,180 --> 00:44:19,248
and then how family feels

1162
00:44:19,290 --> 00:44:21,018
and how communities feel it.

1163
00:44:21,060 --> 00:44:23,170
♪ No hesitation ♪

1164
00:44:23,212 --> 00:44:28,212
♪ He knew what he had to do ♪

1165
00:44:28,425 --> 00:44:31,283
♪ Lord, keep my family safe ♪

1166
00:44:31,325 --> 00:44:35,767
♪ This, I pray to you ♪

1167
00:44:35,809 --> 00:44:40,809
♪ He chose a life that others don't understand ♪

1168
00:44:43,060 --> 00:44:48,060
♪ A heart of a warrior but a simple man ♪

1169
00:44:48,183 --> 00:44:50,898
"The Blue Line" to me is just means

1170
00:44:50,940 --> 00:44:55,278
this sliver of society being law enforcement is

1171
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:56,928
what stands between good and evil.

1172
00:44:56,970 --> 00:45:00,618
We are the buffer between
the good guys and the bad guys.

1173
00:45:00,660 --> 00:45:03,438
It was more about the message in the song

1174
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:05,298
that Vinnie and I worked on with those lyrics,

1175
00:45:05,340 --> 00:45:07,848
just to try to say how can we,

1176
00:45:07,890 --> 00:45:09,828
how do we put something out there

1177
00:45:09,870 --> 00:45:12,348
for guys that do this every day

1178
00:45:12,390 --> 00:45:13,181
that it's gonna hit.

1179
00:45:13,223 --> 00:45:14,014
They're gonna understand.

1180
00:45:14,056 --> 00:45:15,095
They're gonna know that.

1181
00:45:15,137 --> 00:45:19,058
♪ They came to say their goodbyes ♪

1182
00:45:19,100 --> 00:45:21,648
♪ A brotherhood, a family ♪

1183
00:45:21,690 --> 00:45:24,683
♪ Doing their best trying not to cry ♪

1184
00:45:24,725 --> 00:45:29,725
♪ Preacher said a few words ♪

1185
00:45:29,818 --> 00:45:33,658
♪ Life doesn't always seem fair ♪

1186
00:45:33,700 --> 00:45:36,659
♪ They handed her a folded flag ♪

1187
00:45:36,701 --> 00:45:40,638
♪ And they bowed their heads in prayer ♪

1188
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,398
It stands as a tribute to the men and women

1189
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:45,378
who've made the ultimate sacrifice

1190
00:45:45,420 --> 00:45:48,948
and their families who miss them

1191
00:45:48,990 --> 00:45:49,823
and

1192
00:45:51,270 --> 00:45:52,713
are saddened by their loss.

1193
00:45:54,095 --> 00:45:59,095
♪ Saying, "Daddy don't worry" ♪

1194
00:45:59,434 --> 00:46:03,479
♪ "Everything'll be fine" ♪

1195
00:46:03,521 --> 00:46:05,816
♪ "Know that I'll always love you" ♪

1196
00:46:05,858 --> 00:46:10,358
♪ "And I'm gonna hold that blue line" ♪

1197
00:46:11,430 --> 00:46:14,958
Vinnie actually reached out to me through email

1198
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,268
I believe late 2017.

1199
00:46:17,310 --> 00:46:19,158
He said, "I think you and I have a common goal

1200
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:20,448
on humanizing the badge"

1201
00:46:20,490 --> 00:46:22,591
and that portrayal of a, you know,

1202
00:46:22,633 --> 00:46:24,408
a human being on social media.

1203
00:46:24,450 --> 00:46:26,418
'Cause a lot of times there's a lot of interactions

1204
00:46:26,460 --> 00:46:27,918
with cops and people kind of forget

1205
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:30,258
that there's a heart and you know,

1206
00:46:30,300 --> 00:46:32,568
feelings behind that uniform in that badge.

1207
00:46:32,610 --> 00:46:35,513
Dude, I gotta pass the time, dude, I'm gonna fall asleep.

1208
00:46:36,390 --> 00:46:37,223
Three

1209
00:46:38,580 --> 00:46:39,413
two, one.

1210
00:46:40,491 --> 00:46:41,282
(Officer Daniels laughs)

1211
00:46:41,324 --> 00:46:42,738
You almost broke the window.

1212
00:46:42,780 --> 00:46:43,638
We had difficulty getting

1213
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,758
the streaker under control Downtown.

1214
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:48,300
We had a lot of units move in.

1215
00:46:49,380 --> 00:46:51,413
That dude was packing, I'll tell you that.

1216
00:46:56,453 --> 00:46:58,369
(indistinct).

1217
00:46:58,411 --> 00:47:02,078
This guy over here, what's this guy doing?

1218
00:47:04,630 --> 00:47:06,348
(Vinnie groans)

1219
00:47:06,390 --> 00:47:08,238
We wanted to raise money for a little girl

1220
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:10,698
who had Diamond-Blackfan anemia

1221
00:47:10,740 --> 00:47:13,518
and while she was searching for her, a donor,

1222
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:16,578
she ended up finding donors for other kids like her.

1223
00:47:16,620 --> 00:47:20,958
And it blossomed into a
nonprofit called Hallie's Heroes.

1224
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:22,818
Officer Daniels befriended her

1225
00:47:22,860 --> 00:47:24,385
and he met me and he's like,

1226
00:47:24,427 --> 00:47:26,178
"You wanna do a standup comedy show?"

1227
00:47:26,220 --> 00:47:29,118
And then we got involved
with this larger than life lady

1228
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,338
by the name of Chelsea Lynn

1229
00:47:31,380 --> 00:47:33,858
who goes by the stage name of Trailer Trash Tammy.

1230
00:47:33,900 --> 00:47:36,258
A couple comedians, Vinnie and I included,

1231
00:47:36,300 --> 00:47:38,568
decided to host a comedy show

1232
00:47:38,610 --> 00:47:40,158
out at Texas Motor Speedway.

1233
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:41,268
But the night before,

1234
00:47:41,310 --> 00:47:44,118
one of Hallie's Heroes board members hosted

1235
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,368
a barbecue for us

1236
00:47:46,410 --> 00:47:47,838
and they had a swimming pool.

1237
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:50,868
Listen, you want some excitement in your life,

1238
00:47:50,910 --> 00:47:55,758
donate three damn dollars to see Daniels put this on.

1239
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:58,008
Let me help demonstrate.

1240
00:47:58,050 --> 00:48:00,978
- Mm-hmm, that's what it's gonna look like right there.

1241
00:48:01,020 --> 00:48:03,078
And I had plans

1242
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,408
to raise some money on a Facebook fundraiser

1243
00:48:06,450 --> 00:48:08,358
the night before to make some extra money

1244
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:09,588
for Hallie's nonprofit.

1245
00:48:09,630 --> 00:48:13,998
And so I got a women's one-piece swimming suit

1246
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:16,555
and we went live from this barbecue and I said,

1247
00:48:16,597 --> 00:48:19,308
"Hey, if we raise $5,000,

1248
00:48:19,350 --> 00:48:22,638
I'll wear this one-piece swimming suit on stage

1249
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:23,628
tomorrow at the show."

1250
00:48:23,670 --> 00:48:25,758
Officer Daniels says if we're able to raise

1251
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:27,828
on the livestream X amount of money,

1252
00:48:27,870 --> 00:48:30,528
he will wear this onesie bathing suit

1253
00:48:30,570 --> 00:48:33,978
which has pictures of him
and Trailer Trash Tammy on it

1254
00:48:34,020 --> 00:48:35,508
and he will jump into the pool.

1255
00:48:35,550 --> 00:48:37,328
And so we hit that right away.

1256
00:48:37,370 --> 00:48:38,808
[Tammy] Oh my God.

1257
00:48:38,850 --> 00:48:39,641
(group laughs)

1258
00:48:39,683 --> 00:48:40,555
We're gonna go do that.

1259
00:48:40,597 --> 00:48:42,108
(group laughs)

1260
00:48:42,150 --> 00:48:45,018
We got 12.6, 12,600 people watching.

1261
00:48:45,060 --> 00:48:48,078
Guys, keep donating 'cause if we get to 10 K,

1262
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,566
he's going on stage tomorrow like this.

1263
00:48:50,608 --> 00:48:51,399
(group cheers)

1264
00:48:51,441 --> 00:48:52,232
- We're at 6,000? - And listen,

1265
00:48:52,274 --> 00:48:53,868
I would love to make fun of his bulge on stage,

1266
00:48:53,910 --> 00:48:55,098
so let's make this happen.

1267
00:48:55,140 --> 00:48:58,488
We kept getting donations in the comments

1268
00:48:58,530 --> 00:48:59,321
on this livestream.

1269
00:48:59,363 --> 00:49:01,728
There was about 10,000
people watching this livestream.

1270
00:49:01,770 --> 00:49:03,108
They said if we raise 10,000,

1271
00:49:03,150 --> 00:49:04,878
you gotta put it on right now and jump in the pool.

1272
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:08,088
I'm like all right, no problem.

1273
00:49:08,130 --> 00:49:09,498
So we hit 10 K,

1274
00:49:09,540 --> 00:49:11,898
I throw it on, I jump in the pool.

1275
00:49:11,940 --> 00:49:14,268
Well, while I'm swimming out of the pool,

1276
00:49:14,310 --> 00:49:15,101
the comments are like,

1277
00:49:15,143 --> 00:49:16,848
"We're gonna go for 15 K

1278
00:49:16,890 --> 00:49:18,438
and we want Vinnie to put it on,"

1279
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:20,298
the same swimsuit that I just had on.

1280
00:49:20,340 --> 00:49:21,678
Somebody comes up with the idea of like,

1281
00:49:21,720 --> 00:49:25,758
hey, let's see if Vinnie will
put on the onesie bathing suit

1282
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:28,113
and if we hit this mark,

1283
00:49:29,340 --> 00:49:31,440
we will have him jump in the pool as well.

1284
00:49:32,310 --> 00:49:34,398
You want some Latino heat?

1285
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:35,328
(group laughs)

1286
00:49:35,370 --> 00:49:36,948
I ain't afraid, man.

1287
00:49:36,990 --> 00:49:38,718
- Bald guy in the suit. - You want me?

1288
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:40,288
You want to see me in a (indistinct) suit?

1289
00:49:40,330 --> 00:49:42,721
Go put one on, take it off.

1290
00:49:42,763 --> 00:49:45,119
I ain't afraid, man, I'll put on a suit.

1291
00:49:45,161 --> 00:49:47,318
You get to 10,000, I'll put on the suit.

1292
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:49,608
Well I'm, I don't have the body

1293
00:49:49,650 --> 00:49:52,098
for a one-piece female bathing suit, okay?

1294
00:49:52,140 --> 00:49:53,238
That's just not my thing.

1295
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:55,135
And, but I'm also not gonna be like,

1296
00:49:55,177 --> 00:49:56,688
"Oh no, I'm not gonna do it,"

1297
00:49:56,730 --> 00:49:59,063
'cause we're trying to help out for a good cause.

1298
00:50:00,758 --> 00:50:04,591
(group chatters indistinctly)

1299
00:50:08,953 --> 00:50:11,620
(group screams)

1300
00:50:13,761 --> 00:50:14,552
They're like, "Go put it on."

1301
00:50:14,594 --> 00:50:16,668
So I go into the bathroom

1302
00:50:16,710 --> 00:50:18,558
and I put on this one-piece bathing suit

1303
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:23,178
and I am embarrassed because
like my package is showing

1304
00:50:23,220 --> 00:50:25,128
and I didn't want to be like looked at

1305
00:50:25,170 --> 00:50:27,198
as a small package or anything.

1306
00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:30,393
So I take this decorative hand towel off of,

1307
00:50:31,470 --> 00:50:32,988
I take this decorative hand towel

1308
00:50:33,030 --> 00:50:35,508
and I roll it up and I stick it in the crotch area

1309
00:50:35,550 --> 00:50:37,728
of this bathing suit

1310
00:50:37,770 --> 00:50:39,618
and I come walking out and everybody's like,

1311
00:50:39,660 --> 00:50:40,676
what in,

1312
00:50:40,718 --> 00:50:43,467
because I got this giant junk package going now.

1313
00:50:43,509 --> 00:50:46,024
(indistinct)

1314
00:50:46,066 --> 00:50:48,013
this package right here.

1315
00:50:48,055 --> 00:50:49,473
I'm going in the pool.

1316
00:50:49,515 --> 00:50:52,213
It's the most beautiful bulge I've ever seen in my life.

1317
00:50:52,255 --> 00:50:53,351
It's the most beautiful thing

1318
00:50:53,393 --> 00:50:55,194
I've ever seen in my life.

1319
00:50:55,236 --> 00:50:57,653
(indistinct)

1320
00:50:59,128 --> 00:51:00,497
He's gonna get in the pool.

1321
00:51:00,539 --> 00:51:01,539
We got 10 K.

1322
00:51:04,180 --> 00:51:05,085
(water splashes)

1323
00:51:05,127 --> 00:51:06,340
And he came out

1324
00:51:07,230 --> 00:51:08,500
with a very large

1325
00:51:09,810 --> 00:51:11,658
bulge in the swimsuit,

1326
00:51:11,700 --> 00:51:13,368
but it was not,

1327
00:51:13,410 --> 00:51:16,338
it was not what you'd think it was.

1328
00:51:16,380 --> 00:51:17,268
We didn't know what it was

1329
00:51:17,310 --> 00:51:18,348
until the next day

1330
00:51:18,390 --> 00:51:20,898
when we found out it was a decorative hand towel

1331
00:51:20,940 --> 00:51:23,478
from the host bathroom

1332
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,788
and that he decided to stuff down his pants

1333
00:51:25,830 --> 00:51:29,298
so nobody could see his private parts, I guess.

1334
00:51:29,340 --> 00:51:30,648
But I guess he wrung it out

1335
00:51:30,690 --> 00:51:33,078
and hung it back up where he found it.

1336
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:34,788
So the homeowner found it and let us all know

1337
00:51:34,830 --> 00:51:36,213
that she found the towel.

1338
00:51:37,521 --> 00:51:39,254
I was gonna wring it out.

1339
00:51:39,296 --> 00:51:40,850
(Vinnie laughs)

1340
00:51:40,892 --> 00:51:42,601
And I put it back on the rack.

1341
00:51:42,643 --> 00:51:45,027
(group laughs)

1342
00:51:45,069 --> 00:51:45,902
I swear.

1343
00:51:46,990 --> 00:51:48,648
So I get out and now I'm soaking wet

1344
00:51:48,690 --> 00:51:50,268
and I gotta go towel off and dry.

1345
00:51:50,310 --> 00:51:53,838
I take this drenched towel for my crotch area

1346
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,858
and I wring it out in the sink.

1347
00:51:57,900 --> 00:51:59,568
Now here's the dilemma, right?

1348
00:51:59,610 --> 00:52:00,648
I'm drying myself,

1349
00:52:00,690 --> 00:52:02,208
this has now been touching my junk

1350
00:52:02,250 --> 00:52:04,368
and I'm like what do I do with this towel?

1351
00:52:04,410 --> 00:52:05,748
I hadn't planned this far ahead,

1352
00:52:05,790 --> 00:52:07,578
I had not planned this far ahead.

1353
00:52:07,620 --> 00:52:10,668
So the very next night is the show

1354
00:52:10,710 --> 00:52:12,288
at Texas Motor Speedway

1355
00:52:12,330 --> 00:52:15,018
and the lady who owns this hand towel

1356
00:52:15,060 --> 00:52:18,318
later finds the hand towel in the bathroom

1357
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:19,758
is stiff as a board.

1358
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:21,715
And she sits next to me and she's like,

1359
00:52:21,757 --> 00:52:23,895
"Vinnie, do you know what I found?"

1360
00:52:23,937 --> 00:52:25,165
And I'm sitting there for a second like,

1361
00:52:25,207 --> 00:52:26,538
"What did you find?"

1362
00:52:26,580 --> 00:52:29,033
And she's like, "Hand towel."

1363
00:52:29,075 --> 00:52:30,198
And I'm like hand,

1364
00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:32,343
oh the hand towel.

1365
00:52:40,834 --> 00:52:43,334
(funky music)

1366
00:52:48,870 --> 00:52:50,808
Everybody that starts in standup

1367
00:52:50,850 --> 00:52:52,308
starts at open mics.

1368
00:52:52,350 --> 00:52:54,528
Here at Comedy Works, they literally start

1369
00:52:54,570 --> 00:52:56,598
on their first time with two minutes

1370
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:58,578
and within our New Talent program,

1371
00:52:58,620 --> 00:53:01,728
they grow to three, four or five minute sets.

1372
00:53:01,770 --> 00:53:04,938
It can be a slow ascension depending on who they are,

1373
00:53:04,980 --> 00:53:05,958
but we have a system

1374
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:07,878
that they can plug into and they can grow.

1375
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:10,578
So when you first get into Comedy Works New Talent,

1376
00:53:10,620 --> 00:53:12,228
you sign up forever, get two minutes,

1377
00:53:12,270 --> 00:53:13,998
then you, if they think you're doing well,

1378
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:15,708
they move you to three minutes, four minutes

1379
00:53:15,750 --> 00:53:18,168
and one day you hope you get to the Almost Famous list,

1380
00:53:18,210 --> 00:53:19,158
which means you get to open up

1381
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:20,808
for all the great comic acts

1382
00:53:20,850 --> 00:53:22,368
that come through the Comedy Works,

1383
00:53:22,410 --> 00:53:24,828
and eventually you hope to make the Final Roster,

1384
00:53:24,870 --> 00:53:26,868
which actually means you're
a headliner at Comedy Works.

1385
00:53:26,910 --> 00:53:30,168
We have 500 or more people

1386
00:53:30,210 --> 00:53:32,688
working our New Talent system.

1387
00:53:32,730 --> 00:53:36,828
We have almost 200 people every week signing up.

1388
00:53:36,870 --> 00:53:39,408
So there's a lot of people in there

1389
00:53:39,450 --> 00:53:40,283
and

1390
00:53:41,970 --> 00:53:44,298
not many make it far.

1391
00:53:44,340 --> 00:53:47,328
My first open mic was absolutely disastrous

1392
00:53:47,370 --> 00:53:48,468
from my point of view.

1393
00:53:48,510 --> 00:53:50,268
Looking back on it, you know,

1394
00:53:50,310 --> 00:53:52,578
almost 15 years ago I watched recently

1395
00:53:52,620 --> 00:53:55,518
the video of me performing with the hairbrush,

1396
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:58,068
which I never probably want to ever see that again.

1397
00:53:58,110 --> 00:53:59,538
He was trying things out.

1398
00:53:59,580 --> 00:54:01,848
So I mean this was, what, 2007?

1399
00:54:01,890 --> 00:54:04,248
And yeah, just recording on a cell phone or a camera

1400
00:54:04,290 --> 00:54:05,628
or something like that.

1401
00:54:05,670 --> 00:54:07,458
He would come in and he'd have his hairbrush,

1402
00:54:07,500 --> 00:54:10,608
like very stereotypical, practicing in on it.

1403
00:54:10,650 --> 00:54:12,348
Growing up was difficult with my mom in Boulder, man,

1404
00:54:12,390 --> 00:54:13,758
she, different outlook on life

1405
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:16,128
than most other people there.

1406
00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:19,818
Growing up, you know, if
my little friend Billy Buttawipo

1407
00:54:19,860 --> 00:54:21,048
would scrape his knee,

1408
00:54:21,090 --> 00:54:22,818
go running home to his mom,

1409
00:54:22,860 --> 00:54:24,165
she'd be like, "Oh Billy, it's okay.

1410
00:54:24,207 --> 00:54:25,598
Let me kiss that for you."

1411
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,638
He just was trying to work on his stage presence

1412
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:31,458
and how he was gonna speak and tell his jokes.

1413
00:54:31,500 --> 00:54:34,365
- I could come home with a
compound fracture in my left eye

1414
00:54:34,407 --> 00:54:36,588
and she'd immediately revert back to last time

1415
00:54:36,630 --> 00:54:37,855
I mouthed off,

1416
00:54:37,897 --> 00:54:39,258
"Mijo, see what happens

1417
00:54:39,300 --> 00:54:40,878
and God punishes without a belt."

1418
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:45,292
You know, that mindset that this is what I'm gonna do,

1419
00:54:45,334 --> 00:54:46,188
this is what I want.

1420
00:54:46,230 --> 00:54:49,788
You have to have some talent
to be in the NBA, shall we say.

1421
00:54:49,830 --> 00:54:52,368
And this looks like maybe, oh well I can do that.

1422
00:54:52,410 --> 00:54:54,676
I think a lot of people think that.

1423
00:54:54,718 --> 00:54:57,320
What's up, (indistinct) in the house today?

1424
00:54:57,362 --> 00:54:58,653
(audience cheers)

1425
00:54:58,695 --> 00:55:00,908
I'm from the North Side, North Boulder.

1426
00:55:00,950 --> 00:55:03,288
(audience laughs)

1427
00:55:03,330 --> 00:55:05,066
Anybody here from North Boulder?

1428
00:55:05,108 --> 00:55:06,379
(audience cheers)

1429
00:55:06,421 --> 00:55:07,212
Growing up in Boulder, man,

1430
00:55:07,254 --> 00:55:09,468
there's a lot of cultural differences.

1431
00:55:09,510 --> 00:55:10,878
You know, growing up little,

1432
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:13,488
my friend, little Billy Buttawipo
got a scrape on his knee.

1433
00:55:13,530 --> 00:55:15,175
He'd run home to his mom and he'd be like,

1434
00:55:15,217 --> 00:55:17,688
"Oh, mom," and his mom be like, "Oh Billy, it's okay,

1435
00:55:17,730 --> 00:55:18,978
your knee, blah, blah blah.

1436
00:55:19,020 --> 00:55:20,118
"Let me help you out."

1437
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,148
I go home to my mom with a
compound fracture to my left eye.

1438
00:55:23,190 --> 00:55:24,648
She'd be like remembering the last time

1439
00:55:24,690 --> 00:55:25,548
I mouthed off to her.

1440
00:55:25,590 --> 00:55:29,674
She'd be like, "Mijo, and God punishes without a belt, see?"

1441
00:55:29,716 --> 00:55:33,198
(audience laughs)

1442
00:55:33,240 --> 00:55:35,508
I listened to what actually happened on stage

1443
00:55:35,550 --> 00:55:39,288
and there was some similarities
to what I had practiced,

1444
00:55:39,330 --> 00:55:41,388
but then I kind of like totally derailed

1445
00:55:41,430 --> 00:55:42,768
and it was only two minutes.

1446
00:55:42,810 --> 00:55:44,928
You know, they only give you
two minutes to show your stuff.

1447
00:55:44,970 --> 00:55:46,438
And he said, "I just did what you said."

1448
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:48,228
And I don't give that much advice.

1449
00:55:48,270 --> 00:55:51,948
It's just this is the system,
you need to work the system.

1450
00:55:51,990 --> 00:55:55,098
Be here, sign up, bring your best.

1451
00:55:55,140 --> 00:55:56,358
When you work this stage,

1452
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:59,778
you need to bring your A game, always.

1453
00:55:59,820 --> 00:56:01,218
Please welcome to the stage

1454
00:56:01,260 --> 00:56:03,438
a large and loud Latino,

1455
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:05,296
Vinnie Montez.

1456
00:56:05,338 --> 00:56:09,255
(audience applauds and cheers)

1457
00:56:15,330 --> 00:56:16,591
What's up?

1458
00:56:16,633 --> 00:56:19,678
(audience cheers)

1459
00:56:19,720 --> 00:56:21,528
(indistinct).

1460
00:56:21,570 --> 00:56:23,747
All right, without people, what's up, kitchen?

1461
00:56:23,789 --> 00:56:24,948
(audience laughs)

1462
00:56:24,990 --> 00:56:26,568
Always got back-up, baby.

1463
00:56:26,610 --> 00:56:29,988
He did all those biker bars and all those other gigs.

1464
00:56:30,030 --> 00:56:31,788
Anything that he could,

1465
00:56:31,830 --> 00:56:34,338
that he could work and do his schedule,

1466
00:56:34,380 --> 00:56:37,398
he did that and that makes all the difference.

1467
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:39,498
He just had the mindset.

1468
00:56:39,540 --> 00:56:41,898
I don't have a traditional Latino job.

1469
00:56:41,940 --> 00:56:44,043
I'm a police officer, sincerely.

1470
00:56:44,996 --> 00:56:46,497
As you can tell.

1471
00:56:46,539 --> 00:56:49,248
(audience laughs)

1472
00:56:49,290 --> 00:56:50,808
He kind of has mass appeal

1473
00:56:50,850 --> 00:56:52,548
and the fact that he is so likable

1474
00:56:52,590 --> 00:56:54,438
and that he's so approachable

1475
00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:57,108
and he's very approachable off stage as well.

1476
00:56:57,150 --> 00:56:59,568
And he's just got that

1477
00:56:59,610 --> 00:57:01,389
I like to hang with that guy.

1478
00:57:01,431 --> 00:57:04,195
So I'm in Target and I hear,

1479
00:57:04,237 --> 00:57:07,347
"Code yellow to electronics,
code yellow to electronics."

1480
00:57:08,220 --> 00:57:09,505
So I go up to the dude with the microphone like,

1481
00:57:09,547 --> 00:57:11,928
"Hey bro, what's the code yellow?"

1482
00:57:11,970 --> 00:57:15,133
He's like, "We got a Mexican in electronics."

1483
00:57:15,175 --> 00:57:18,008
(audience laughs)

1484
00:57:25,953 --> 00:57:26,794
What?

1485
00:57:26,836 --> 00:57:27,830
(audience laughs)

1486
00:57:27,872 --> 00:57:29,808
I think what stuck out about Vinnie

1487
00:57:29,850 --> 00:57:31,998
as opposed to some of those other comedians is

1488
00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:34,638
that he has an amazing stage presence.

1489
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,368
And so he could say something that's maybe funny

1490
00:57:37,410 --> 00:57:38,748
or not so funny,

1491
00:57:38,790 --> 00:57:41,178
but his stage presence just really makes the joke

1492
00:57:41,220 --> 00:57:43,728
and all of his act-outs and his facial expressions.

1493
00:57:43,770 --> 00:57:46,368
I met Vinnie Montez

1494
00:57:46,410 --> 00:57:48,408
at Comedy Works, it had to be.

1495
00:57:48,450 --> 00:57:49,578
I love going on Spirit.

1496
00:57:49,620 --> 00:57:51,588
Spirit, it's like the Medicaid of the sky,

1497
00:57:51,630 --> 00:57:52,698
you know what I mean?

1498
00:57:52,740 --> 00:57:54,798
Like, I'm surprised they don't take food stamps

1499
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:56,858
for snacks on Spirit.

1500
00:57:56,900 --> 00:57:57,691
(audience laughs)

1501
00:57:57,733 --> 00:57:58,524
You know how fun that would be?

1502
00:57:58,566 --> 00:57:59,357
You board a Spirit flight

1503
00:57:59,399 --> 00:58:01,278
and there's just a sign on the outside of the plane,

1504
00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:03,266
it's like we accept EBT, you're like.

1505
00:58:03,308 --> 00:58:04,201
(audience laughs)

1506
00:58:04,243 --> 00:58:05,148
Oh shit, rules.

1507
00:58:05,190 --> 00:58:06,768
You know, back then we're doing new talent nights

1508
00:58:06,810 --> 00:58:08,688
and we're doing open mics and stuff like that.

1509
00:58:08,730 --> 00:58:10,908
And so I met him just like I met

1510
00:58:10,950 --> 00:58:12,048
everybody else in the scene.

1511
00:58:12,090 --> 00:58:13,338
He was driving down from Boulder.

1512
00:58:13,380 --> 00:58:14,688
I was driving down from Boulder.

1513
00:58:14,730 --> 00:58:16,098
The thing about the Comedy Works is

1514
00:58:16,140 --> 00:58:17,238
like on New Talent night,

1515
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:19,128
there's like 15 or 20 comics

1516
00:58:19,170 --> 00:58:21,558
and so it takes a while to get to know everybody.

1517
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:22,998
I did a show here last night

1518
00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:25,758
and some lady asked if my hair was natural.

1519
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:27,138
And I'm like, "Where the hell would you go

1520
00:58:27,180 --> 00:58:28,767
to get your hair done like this, you know?"

1521
00:58:28,809 --> 00:58:30,198
(audience laughs)

1522
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:32,284
She said, "PetSmart".

1523
00:58:32,326 --> 00:58:34,638
(audience laughs)

1524
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:35,928
That stung a little bit.

1525
00:58:35,970 --> 00:58:36,945
I remember seeing Vinnie

1526
00:58:36,987 --> 00:58:39,348
and he talked about being a sheriff and stuff,

1527
00:58:39,390 --> 00:58:41,868
and the thing about it is, I'm a comic first.

1528
00:58:41,910 --> 00:58:43,128
Like I wasn't like,

1529
00:58:43,170 --> 00:58:45,468
what the hell is this cop trying to do, do comedy?

1530
00:58:45,510 --> 00:58:46,301
I mean I just,

1531
00:58:46,343 --> 00:58:48,618
I always think there's room for everybody

1532
00:58:48,660 --> 00:58:49,451
in the business.

1533
00:58:49,493 --> 00:58:51,698
The people I came up with who were really close to me

1534
00:58:51,740 --> 00:58:54,828
in comedy, John Novosad, a.k.a. Hippie Man back in the day,

1535
00:58:54,870 --> 00:58:56,478
Brent Gill was one of the guys that I came up with

1536
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:57,828
using my New Talent class,

1537
00:58:57,870 --> 00:58:59,298
coming up through Comedy Works.

1538
00:58:59,340 --> 00:59:02,298
These guys were really instrumental

1539
00:59:02,340 --> 00:59:03,828
in a group that I bonded with.

1540
00:59:03,870 --> 00:59:04,818
You just gotta do it.

1541
00:59:04,860 --> 00:59:06,078
You're gonna fail,

1542
00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:07,488
you're gonna get knocked down

1543
00:59:07,530 --> 00:59:09,048
and you're gonna have some of the highest nights

1544
00:59:09,090 --> 00:59:11,778
of your life of just, I smashed tonight

1545
00:59:11,820 --> 00:59:14,178
and this is the greatest feeling I've ever had.

1546
00:59:14,220 --> 00:59:16,068
Lots of times, Vinnie would gimme a ride

1547
00:59:16,110 --> 00:59:17,268
to and from these shows.

1548
00:59:17,310 --> 00:59:20,778
So we became friends then and he would pick my brain,

1549
00:59:20,820 --> 00:59:22,158
but I would also pick his brain.

1550
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:24,055
Like just today in the car he goes,

1551
00:59:24,097 --> 00:59:27,528
"You know, I don't know if I should be giving you advice."

1552
00:59:27,570 --> 00:59:28,878
And I'm like, "Of course you should.

1553
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:29,958
You know, why not?"

1554
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:34,488
Because if I knew the answers to this business,

1555
00:59:34,530 --> 00:59:36,078
we'd be doing this interview

1556
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:38,628
in my beach house in Malibu.

1557
00:59:38,670 --> 00:59:40,728
But fast forward now these later years,

1558
00:59:40,770 --> 00:59:42,855
we now have these big 420 events

1559
00:59:42,897 --> 00:59:44,838
and they needed some extra police officers

1560
00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:47,118
to work the 420 event.

1561
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:50,388
And I felt like I was qualified to work the event

1562
00:59:50,430 --> 00:59:52,681
because I like Doritos just like they do.

1563
00:59:52,723 --> 00:59:53,514
You know what I'm saying?

1564
00:59:53,556 --> 00:59:54,347
(audience laughs)

1565
00:59:54,389 --> 00:59:55,788
One of the ones I like to talk about that process,

1566
00:59:55,830 --> 00:59:57,498
'cause it just took forever,

1567
00:59:57,540 --> 00:59:59,358
was finding the right way to get into

1568
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:00,948
420 Tickle Me Elmo.

1569
01:00:00,990 --> 01:00:02,808
So I get there to work the event,

1570
01:00:02,850 --> 01:00:04,728
it's three o'clock in the afternoon,

1571
01:00:04,770 --> 01:00:08,268
there's already 10,000 people on the field

1572
01:00:08,310 --> 01:00:11,028
and it is just a cloud of smoke.

1573
01:00:11,070 --> 01:00:13,158
How you say a word in comedy

1574
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,808
or how you phrase something

1575
01:00:14,850 --> 01:00:17,718
is just as equally as important as what you say.

1576
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:19,818
So now when I do that bit, I'm like,

1577
01:00:19,860 --> 01:00:23,298
when I realize I get a contact high,

1578
01:00:23,340 --> 01:00:27,018
I become Mexican Tickle Me Elmo.

1579
01:00:27,060 --> 01:00:32,060
That Mexican Tickle Me Elmo,
that cadence right there is

1580
01:00:32,190 --> 01:00:33,798
so important

1581
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:37,218
to let the audience take in
everything that I'm saying.

1582
01:00:37,260 --> 01:00:41,298
What I didn't realize is if I get a contact high,

1583
01:00:41,340 --> 01:00:44,275
I become Mexican Tickle Me Elmo.

1584
01:00:44,317 --> 01:00:47,718
(audience laughs)

1585
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:50,238
Even before 420, the hour of 4:20 hit,

1586
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:51,555
I mean everybody was blazing, right?

1587
01:00:51,597 --> 01:00:55,281
And I mean, some of these blunts were like this big.

1588
01:00:55,323 --> 01:00:58,158
I can see that Vinnie, you know,

1589
01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:00,288
being a foot and a half, you know, below everybody

1590
01:01:00,330 --> 01:01:02,298
'cause he's so short,

1591
01:01:02,340 --> 01:01:04,248
just getting shotgunned with weed smoke

1592
01:01:04,290 --> 01:01:06,168
as he is going in and you know,

1593
01:01:06,210 --> 01:01:08,928
that Tickle Me Elmo reference is just so funny.

1594
01:01:08,970 --> 01:01:11,838
- You're breathing the same
air everybody else is breathing.

1595
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:13,638
And I'm like, there is no way

1596
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:16,068
that I am not breathing this in at some point

1597
01:01:16,110 --> 01:01:18,738
or the rest of the officers that are working here.

1598
01:01:18,780 --> 01:01:21,648
Apparently, I was in the crowd for too long.

1599
01:01:21,690 --> 01:01:22,481
(audience laughs)

1600
01:01:22,523 --> 01:01:24,775
And dispatch start calling me on the radio

1601
01:01:24,817 --> 01:01:27,117
"Vinnie, can we get a status on you in there?"

1602
01:01:27,958 --> 01:01:30,791
(audience laughs)

1603
01:01:34,952 --> 01:01:37,619
(Vinnie laughs)

1604
01:01:41,037 --> 01:01:43,848
But that inspired me to think like how could I take

1605
01:01:43,890 --> 01:01:46,968
this experience from my perspective as a cop

1606
01:01:47,010 --> 01:01:48,528
and relay that to an audience

1607
01:01:48,570 --> 01:01:51,798
so that they can enjoy what I'm envisioning

1608
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:53,973
being crazy from my perspective.

1609
01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:57,640
Vinnie, can we get a status on you in there?

1610
01:01:59,521 --> 01:02:02,628
(audience laughs)

1611
01:02:02,670 --> 01:02:05,735
How do I show that I'm this high cop, you know?

1612
01:02:05,777 --> 01:02:08,808
'Cause the facial expression's
not gonna work by itself,

1613
01:02:08,850 --> 01:02:11,508
like it does at the beginning of the act out.

1614
01:02:11,550 --> 01:02:13,023
But like you need more.

1615
01:02:15,826 --> 01:02:16,617
(indistinct).

1616
01:02:16,659 --> 01:02:19,492
(audience laughs)

1617
01:02:21,540 --> 01:02:22,901
Dispatch go home.

1618
01:02:22,943 --> 01:02:26,610
(Vinnie and audience laugh)

1619
01:02:27,912 --> 01:02:29,298
Woo.

1620
01:02:29,340 --> 01:02:33,288
(Vinnie and audience laugh)

1621
01:02:33,330 --> 01:02:36,931
Anybody here know who Chris Farley is?

1622
01:02:36,973 --> 01:02:39,708
(audience cheers)

1623
01:02:39,750 --> 01:02:41,178
I wanna bring that guy back to life,

1624
01:02:41,220 --> 01:02:42,888
he's one of my inspirations,

1625
01:02:42,930 --> 01:02:45,438
but take him out on patrol with me.

1626
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:47,478
We got a lot of Karens in this country right now.

1627
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:48,978
Karens, you know what I'm saying?

1628
01:02:49,020 --> 01:02:50,628
And I can't stand it when people are mean

1629
01:02:50,670 --> 01:02:53,598
to servers or customer service personnel.

1630
01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:56,148
And I saw this lady outta
control one time on this call.

1631
01:02:56,190 --> 01:02:58,428
She was yelling at the Costco customer service.

1632
01:02:58,470 --> 01:02:59,748
She's like, "You're gonna take this back

1633
01:02:59,790 --> 01:03:01,188
and I don't care what you have to do.

1634
01:03:01,230 --> 01:03:02,021
I'm important."

1635
01:03:02,063 --> 01:03:03,528
You know, I'm like, oh my God.

1636
01:03:03,570 --> 01:03:05,238
I think when people find out I'm a police officer,

1637
01:03:05,280 --> 01:03:06,648
depending on the setting,

1638
01:03:06,690 --> 01:03:08,448
they are skeptical

1639
01:03:08,490 --> 01:03:11,418
because especially when
I'm first coming out on stage

1640
01:03:11,460 --> 01:03:12,888
and I reveal I'm a police officer,

1641
01:03:12,930 --> 01:03:14,328
I think people are right away like, okay,

1642
01:03:14,370 --> 01:03:15,228
what does he have to say?

1643
01:03:15,270 --> 01:03:17,095
I'd love to walk in with Chris Farley and be like,

1644
01:03:17,137 --> 01:03:18,288
"You want to take this one Chris?"

1645
01:03:18,330 --> 01:03:20,015
He'd be like, "I got it."

1646
01:03:20,057 --> 01:03:21,318
(audience laughs)

1647
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:22,195
He'd walk up and he'd be like,

1648
01:03:22,237 --> 01:03:23,448
"Ma'am, I need your attention."

1649
01:03:23,490 --> 01:03:24,948
She'd turn around, what is your name?

1650
01:03:24,990 --> 01:03:26,268
I know who your supervisor is.

1651
01:03:26,310 --> 01:03:27,558
Gimme your number, are you detaining me?

1652
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:30,018
He'd be like, "Ma'am, I need you, do me a favor.

1653
01:03:30,060 --> 01:03:32,361
Shut your freaking yapper."

1654
01:03:32,403 --> 01:03:33,978
(audience applauds and laughs)

1655
01:03:34,020 --> 01:03:36,108
And then after I tell some of the stories

1656
01:03:36,150 --> 01:03:39,138
and I make it kind of personal and I make people laugh,

1657
01:03:39,180 --> 01:03:40,458
it's hard to be mad at somebody

1658
01:03:40,500 --> 01:03:42,078
when you're laughing at them,

1659
01:03:42,120 --> 01:03:43,848
and or with them.

1660
01:03:43,890 --> 01:03:45,738
So I think that breaks down a barrier right away

1661
01:03:45,780 --> 01:03:48,085
and establishes rapport and communication.

1662
01:03:48,127 --> 01:03:50,778
Failure to comply will result in the failure of you

1663
01:03:50,820 --> 01:03:53,598
that understanding that by the end of the night

1664
01:03:53,640 --> 01:03:56,425
you're gonna be living in a van down by the river.

1665
01:03:56,467 --> 01:03:57,887
(group laughs and cheers)

1666
01:03:57,929 --> 01:04:00,678
Yeah, I think that these stories he has from his job

1667
01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:01,750
are so

1668
01:04:03,210 --> 01:04:05,598
novel to a bunch of audiences.

1669
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:08,148
I think that they hear cop and they think,

1670
01:04:08,190 --> 01:04:09,168
all right, I don't, like,

1671
01:04:09,210 --> 01:04:10,398
I don't know if I like this guy.

1672
01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:11,418
And then you hear these stories,

1673
01:04:11,460 --> 01:04:12,948
you're like, oh, this is actually,

1674
01:04:12,990 --> 01:04:13,848
this is kind of funny.

1675
01:04:13,890 --> 01:04:16,938
Standup comedy has been an absolute blessing to me.

1676
01:04:16,980 --> 01:04:19,098
I think it's not only balanced me out,

1677
01:04:19,140 --> 01:04:20,988
but it lets me and reminds me all the people

1678
01:04:21,030 --> 01:04:22,068
that I get to interact with,

1679
01:04:22,110 --> 01:04:23,988
like the comedians that I see on a regular basis

1680
01:04:24,030 --> 01:04:25,308
who are not cops.

1681
01:04:25,350 --> 01:04:27,918
It keeps me grounded in who's actually out there

1682
01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:28,751
in the world.

1683
01:04:28,793 --> 01:04:30,294
When I heard he was a cop, I was like, well,

1684
01:04:30,336 --> 01:04:34,038
I gotta steer clear of him.

1685
01:04:34,080 --> 01:04:35,590
I don't wanna be around him.

1686
01:04:35,632 --> 01:04:36,738
You know, I don't wanna get in trouble.

1687
01:04:36,780 --> 01:04:38,688
If you, I don't mean to laugh,

1688
01:04:38,730 --> 01:04:39,918
but if you get a good look at me,

1689
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:41,958
I'm not necessarily anti-police,

1690
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:45,288
but you know, when, a guy who looks like me,

1691
01:04:45,330 --> 01:04:47,268
when I see a police officer,

1692
01:04:47,310 --> 01:04:48,468
I'm a little nervous.

1693
01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:51,315
We used to smoke weed at the creek by Comedy Works

1694
01:04:51,357 --> 01:04:53,778
and it prior to the shows,

1695
01:04:53,820 --> 01:04:55,578
not me and Vinnie, but the comics.

1696
01:04:55,620 --> 01:04:57,048
And I would be like, "Vinnie, we're going to the creek.

1697
01:04:57,090 --> 01:04:57,918
You wanna come?"

1698
01:04:57,960 --> 01:04:59,268
And just because it's,

1699
01:04:59,310 --> 01:05:02,328
it was always fun to hear how he would say no this time.

1700
01:05:02,370 --> 01:05:04,128
As I got to know Vinnie,

1701
01:05:04,170 --> 01:05:05,138
and again, I wasn't like,

1702
01:05:05,180 --> 01:05:06,858
oh this guy's a cop doing comedy.

1703
01:05:06,900 --> 01:05:08,445
I just was like, hey, this guy's funny

1704
01:05:08,487 --> 01:05:10,180
and he's a police officer

1705
01:05:10,222 --> 01:05:11,013
and like I say, I'm a comic.

1706
01:05:11,055 --> 01:05:13,938
So then I was like, man, this is a good niche for him.

1707
01:05:13,980 --> 01:05:16,878
And so then you know, Vinnie, as he started to work

1708
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:17,988
around the country,

1709
01:05:18,030 --> 01:05:19,158
booked me to go with him.

1710
01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:22,668
And what it did for me was really show

1711
01:05:22,710 --> 01:05:26,238
the human aspect of police officers.

1712
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:28,848
And it really did humanize it for me to go

1713
01:05:28,890 --> 01:05:30,468
you know, these are people.

1714
01:05:30,510 --> 01:05:31,968
I guess the easiest way I could put it

1715
01:05:32,010 --> 01:05:33,318
in relation to my comedy is

1716
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:35,628
just letting people know when they see me up there

1717
01:05:35,670 --> 01:05:37,038
as a standup comedian

1718
01:05:37,080 --> 01:05:38,238
and they lose sight of the fact

1719
01:05:38,280 --> 01:05:40,128
that I'm actually a police officer on the street

1720
01:05:40,170 --> 01:05:41,238
and I'm not enforcing laws,

1721
01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:43,698
but I'm out there making people laugh,

1722
01:05:43,740 --> 01:05:46,036
they get to see that human side of me.

1723
01:05:46,078 --> 01:05:47,568
(audience laughs)

1724
01:05:47,610 --> 01:05:48,948
I don't know if you guys saw this online,

1725
01:05:48,990 --> 01:05:50,718
but a lady called 911

1726
01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:55,760
because her boyfriend
refused to load the dishwasher.

1727
01:05:55,819 --> 01:05:56,610
(audience laughs)

1728
01:05:56,652 --> 01:05:57,798
Dude, I would've loved to get that call.

1729
01:05:57,840 --> 01:05:59,898
But under the auspices I show up,

1730
01:05:59,940 --> 01:06:01,593
your ass is singing a song.

1731
01:06:02,610 --> 01:06:03,401
I'd have rolled up and I'd be like,

1732
01:06:03,443 --> 01:06:04,234
"What's going on?"

1733
01:06:04,276 --> 01:06:05,866
She's like, "This son of a bitch, he doesn't even know

1734
01:06:05,908 --> 01:06:08,178
how to take a single dish outta the sink

1735
01:06:08,220 --> 01:06:10,128
and put it in the dishwasher."

1736
01:06:10,170 --> 01:06:10,961
(audience laughs)

1737
01:06:11,003 --> 01:06:12,348
They get to see what I have to offer

1738
01:06:12,390 --> 01:06:14,058
that's not just Vinnie the cop.

1739
01:06:14,100 --> 01:06:16,908
They get to see what I offer
as Vinnie the standup comedian

1740
01:06:16,950 --> 01:06:18,678
and Vinnie as the human being.

1741
01:06:18,720 --> 01:06:20,508
And if I could just shed some light on that

1742
01:06:20,550 --> 01:06:22,908
and let people see that human side of me,

1743
01:06:22,950 --> 01:06:24,498
then I think it gives 'em the opportunity

1744
01:06:24,540 --> 01:06:25,331
to want to see

1745
01:06:25,373 --> 01:06:27,018
the other side of other law enforcement officers

1746
01:06:27,060 --> 01:06:28,068
around the country.

1747
01:06:28,110 --> 01:06:29,988
She'd be like, "I'm sick of this shit, I'm outta here."

1748
01:06:30,030 --> 01:06:31,075
She go out the door and I'd be like,

1749
01:06:31,117 --> 01:06:32,328
"Dude, you gotta bring her back,

1750
01:06:32,370 --> 01:06:33,348
but you gotta sing it out."

1751
01:06:33,390 --> 01:06:34,458
He'd be like, "What?"

1752
01:06:34,500 --> 01:06:35,388
I'd be like, "Hit it."

1753
01:06:35,430 --> 01:06:36,669
He'd have to be like

1754
01:06:36,711 --> 01:06:39,496
♪ I know you want leave me ♪

1755
01:06:39,538 --> 01:06:43,260
♪ But I refuse to let you go ♪

1756
01:06:43,302 --> 01:06:44,802
♪ If I have to beg ♪

1757
01:06:44,844 --> 01:06:47,270
♪ Plead for your sympathy ♪

1758
01:06:47,312 --> 01:06:49,140
♪ I don't mind ♪

1759
01:06:49,182 --> 01:06:51,394
♪ 'Cause you mean that much to me ♪

1760
01:06:51,436 --> 01:06:53,864
♪ Ain't too proud to beg ♪

1761
01:06:53,906 --> 01:06:57,108
(audience cheers and applauds)

1762
01:06:57,150 --> 01:06:58,788
But you know, the ladies are not gonna be outdone.

1763
01:06:58,830 --> 01:07:00,985
She's gonna come right back through the door.

1764
01:07:01,027 --> 01:07:02,074
♪ Tell me what you want ♪

1765
01:07:02,116 --> 01:07:03,113
♪ What you really, really want ♪

1766
01:07:03,155 --> 01:07:05,988
(audience laughs)

1767
01:07:08,242 --> 01:07:09,185
(emotive music)

1768
01:07:09,227 --> 01:07:11,598
I told my wife, you know, am I asleep or am I alive,

1769
01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:13,578
you better pinch me 'cause I can't believe

1770
01:07:13,620 --> 01:07:15,528
that Vince is doing all this.

1771
01:07:15,570 --> 01:07:16,361
And I seen that.

1772
01:07:16,403 --> 01:07:17,448
That's something that I've seen

1773
01:07:17,490 --> 01:07:19,848
that nobody will ever take away from me.

1774
01:07:19,890 --> 01:07:21,888
The stuff that my boy has been able to do.

1775
01:07:21,930 --> 01:07:24,348
And I know he got that from my genes

1776
01:07:24,390 --> 01:07:26,568
and I know that 'cause I had the drive.

1777
01:07:26,610 --> 01:07:28,188
So he has a drive

1778
01:07:28,230 --> 01:07:30,738
and that's why he's gonna be successful in what he does.

1779
01:07:30,780 --> 01:07:35,780
- My father is probably the
inspiration for giving back.

1780
01:07:36,690 --> 01:07:38,088
My dad would always help people out.

1781
01:07:38,130 --> 01:07:39,948
And I think that's what created a lot of loyalty

1782
01:07:39,990 --> 01:07:41,418
from his friends to him,

1783
01:07:41,460 --> 01:07:44,448
is because in any situation
where his friends needed help,

1784
01:07:44,490 --> 01:07:45,468
he was there for them.

1785
01:07:45,510 --> 01:07:47,478
And so I aspire to do the same thing

1786
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:49,878
because like I said earlier

1787
01:07:49,920 --> 01:07:50,868
in other times,

1788
01:07:50,910 --> 01:07:52,638
you can't do anything in life

1789
01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:54,828
without relationships and people.

1790
01:07:54,870 --> 01:07:56,125
My mom would always say,

1791
01:07:56,167 --> 01:07:58,548
"If you ever do something for somebody else,

1792
01:07:58,590 --> 01:08:00,018
never remember it.

1793
01:08:00,060 --> 01:08:01,758
But if somebody else does something for you,

1794
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:03,018
never forget it."

1795
01:08:03,060 --> 01:08:04,308
When you've done something for somebody,

1796
01:08:04,350 --> 01:08:05,838
let it be water under the bridge.

1797
01:08:05,880 --> 01:08:08,238
Don't expect anything back in return.

1798
01:08:08,280 --> 01:08:10,028
I look at all the things that I've been able to do

1799
01:08:10,070 --> 01:08:11,988
in my life.

1800
01:08:12,030 --> 01:08:14,418
Phil West didn't have to take the time

1801
01:08:14,460 --> 01:08:18,888
to read all my college essays
for the most part and help me,

1802
01:08:18,930 --> 01:08:19,878
but he did.

1803
01:08:19,920 --> 01:08:22,128
Wendy Curtis didn't have to take a chance on me

1804
01:08:22,170 --> 01:08:24,558
and promote me to the Almost Famous list

1805
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:27,438
and then make me a club comic on the rotation there.

1806
01:08:27,480 --> 01:08:29,178
People didn't have to take those opportunities

1807
01:08:29,220 --> 01:08:30,618
to give me breaks in my life.

1808
01:08:30,660 --> 01:08:31,938
Talent can only get you so far.

1809
01:08:31,980 --> 01:08:35,058
But generosity, people giving you opportunity,

1810
01:08:35,100 --> 01:08:39,468
I believe that you are no better than what you give.

1811
01:08:39,510 --> 01:08:41,290
So I think that

1812
01:08:42,690 --> 01:08:45,978
it comes from my father, for sure, my mother.

1813
01:08:46,020 --> 01:08:48,558
It's just something that makes me feel really good

1814
01:08:48,600 --> 01:08:50,268
as a human being inside

1815
01:08:50,310 --> 01:08:52,158
to be able to help other people.

1816
01:08:52,200 --> 01:08:54,050
And that's as simply as I can say it.

1817
01:08:56,931 --> 01:08:59,681
(dramatic music)

1818
01:09:05,670 --> 01:09:06,858
But if you would, Las Vegas,

1819
01:09:06,900 --> 01:09:08,598
let's have a good time tonight

1820
01:09:08,640 --> 01:09:11,118
and let's give a very warm Vegas welcome

1821
01:09:11,160 --> 01:09:12,978
to the very funny Vinnie Montez,

1822
01:09:13,020 --> 01:09:14,893
everybody here he is, Vinnie.

1823
01:09:14,935 --> 01:09:16,578
(audience applauds and cheers)

1824
01:09:16,620 --> 01:09:18,528
Vinnie has tough ladies in his life.

1825
01:09:18,570 --> 01:09:20,568
Those stories, I mean they're very funny.

1826
01:09:20,610 --> 01:09:22,818
The story about him and Catrina

1827
01:09:22,860 --> 01:09:26,058
and what they suspected
was an intruder in their house.

1828
01:09:26,100 --> 01:09:27,618
I don't even know what to say

1829
01:09:27,660 --> 01:09:29,748
because I just don't believe
that it actually happened.

1830
01:09:29,790 --> 01:09:31,338
She says this never happened,

1831
01:09:31,380 --> 01:09:34,218
which I want to throw the flag up on that

1832
01:09:34,260 --> 01:09:35,838
and say that's a complete lie.

1833
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:39,423
Three o'clock in the morning one night, we're sleeping.

1834
01:09:40,590 --> 01:09:42,100
I get up to go to the bathroom

1835
01:09:43,440 --> 01:09:44,688
and I head down to the bathroom

1836
01:09:44,730 --> 01:09:46,788
and I don't turn on a single light in the house.

1837
01:09:46,830 --> 01:09:47,748
Why?

1838
01:09:47,790 --> 01:09:49,428
Because I'm a professional.

1839
01:09:49,470 --> 01:09:51,558
They hear something, they hear a noise downstairs

1840
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:55,068
and he knows that criminality is afoot.

1841
01:09:55,110 --> 01:09:56,748
And I handle my business in the bathroom

1842
01:09:56,790 --> 01:09:58,878
and I start making my way back to bed

1843
01:09:58,920 --> 01:10:01,908
when from downstairs, I hear a crash.

1844
01:10:01,950 --> 01:10:02,853
Kaboom.

1845
01:10:03,720 --> 01:10:05,770
So I stop and I listen

1846
01:10:06,690 --> 01:10:10,716
because there is criminal activity afoot.

1847
01:10:10,758 --> 01:10:11,549
(audience laughs)

1848
01:10:11,591 --> 01:10:15,768
The cop in him is, you know, ready to kick some ass.

1849
01:10:15,810 --> 01:10:18,504
And his girlfriend asks him,

1850
01:10:18,546 --> 01:10:20,808
"You know, did you hear that noise?"

1851
01:10:20,850 --> 01:10:22,053
Did you just shush me?

1852
01:10:23,267 --> 01:10:27,918
Because I think any woman would react similarly.

1853
01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:29,065
And from the bed I hear,

1854
01:10:29,107 --> 01:10:29,940
"Babe,"

1855
01:10:31,620 --> 01:10:32,453
babe,

1856
01:10:34,440 --> 01:10:36,138
didn't you hear that?

1857
01:10:36,180 --> 01:10:36,978
Babe?

1858
01:10:37,020 --> 01:10:39,648
"Did you hear that?"

1859
01:10:39,690 --> 01:10:43,124
To which I replied, "Shh."

1860
01:10:43,166 --> 01:10:45,999
(audience laughs)

1861
01:10:51,174 --> 01:10:54,468
And about 10 seconds of silence went by.

1862
01:10:54,510 --> 01:10:55,863
And then I heard,

1863
01:10:58,765 --> 01:11:01,434
"Did you just shush me?"

1864
01:11:01,476 --> 01:11:04,818
(audience laughs)

1865
01:11:04,860 --> 01:11:08,928
She acknowledges that by asking me if I heard that.

1866
01:11:08,970 --> 01:11:12,138
And in response, you know, I did.

1867
01:11:12,180 --> 01:11:14,598
I was like, shh, I did shush her.

1868
01:11:14,640 --> 01:11:17,868
And that did create some contention.

1869
01:11:17,910 --> 01:11:19,908
Is that something I would say?

1870
01:11:19,950 --> 01:11:20,741
Probably.

1871
01:11:20,783 --> 01:11:23,358
And that's when she came out of her shell.

1872
01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:24,558
And I couldn't see her face.

1873
01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:25,818
But she's like, "Let me tell you something,

1874
01:11:25,860 --> 01:11:28,169
you son of bitch, my father didn't raise no woman to be."

1875
01:11:28,211 --> 01:11:31,031
(Vinnie shushes)

1876
01:11:31,073 --> 01:11:33,498
And I was like, oh my God, what is going on right now?

1877
01:11:33,540 --> 01:11:36,130
And I backed up and I shut the door to the bedroom

1878
01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:39,768
and I went downstairs 'cause
I had business to take care of.

1879
01:11:39,810 --> 01:11:41,328
And I was looking for the burglar

1880
01:11:41,370 --> 01:11:43,428
and I was searching the house.

1881
01:11:43,470 --> 01:11:44,748
And I'm gonna be honest with you, family,

1882
01:11:44,790 --> 01:11:45,858
if I would've found that burglar,

1883
01:11:45,900 --> 01:11:47,628
I'd have been like, "Excuse me, sir."

1884
01:11:47,670 --> 01:11:48,513
Yes,

1885
01:11:49,470 --> 01:11:51,155
"upstairs, first door on the left."

1886
01:11:51,197 --> 01:11:52,818
(audience laughs)

1887
01:11:52,860 --> 01:11:54,318
There was no burglar in the house.

1888
01:11:54,360 --> 01:11:56,838
But the thing about it is I find it odd

1889
01:11:56,880 --> 01:11:59,328
that she says that this didn't happen

1890
01:11:59,370 --> 01:12:03,948
because this was completely
inspired by that interaction.

1891
01:12:03,990 --> 01:12:06,768
I just don't remember the exact specific instance

1892
01:12:06,810 --> 01:12:07,998
that he is referring to.

1893
01:12:08,040 --> 01:12:09,678
And I'm sure that he exaggerated.

1894
01:12:09,720 --> 01:12:11,778
I probably just said something

1895
01:12:11,820 --> 01:12:13,638
and then it turned into like this big joke.

1896
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:14,838
Maybe she was half asleep.

1897
01:12:14,880 --> 01:12:16,428
I don't know, Catrina, what was going on.

1898
01:12:16,470 --> 01:12:18,648
But that absolutely happened.

1899
01:12:18,690 --> 01:12:20,628
I'll take a polygraph if I need to.

1900
01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:23,238
- Whatever it has turned
into, people find it hilarious.

1901
01:12:23,280 --> 01:12:25,098
People in my family think it's hilarious.

1902
01:12:25,140 --> 01:12:26,568
They're like, that is totally you.

1903
01:12:26,610 --> 01:12:27,918
So I deny that it happened,

1904
01:12:27,960 --> 01:12:30,051
but I guess history will tell.

1905
01:12:30,093 --> 01:12:31,698
What do they say about SWAT people?

1906
01:12:31,740 --> 01:12:32,928
Either you're SWAT.

1907
01:12:32,970 --> 01:12:34,745
[Audience] Or you're not.

1908
01:12:34,787 --> 01:12:36,675
(Vinnie laughs)

1909
01:12:36,717 --> 01:12:38,283
No, I saw you fuckers in here.

1910
01:12:38,325 --> 01:12:39,116
(audience laughs)

1911
01:12:39,158 --> 01:12:39,991
I know.

1912
01:12:40,950 --> 01:12:43,828
You're not gonna make me break my toughness tonight.

1913
01:12:43,870 --> 01:12:45,948
(audience laughs)

1914
01:12:45,990 --> 01:12:48,018
Certainly the bear in the house story is

1915
01:12:48,060 --> 01:12:49,518
one of my favorites.

1916
01:12:49,560 --> 01:12:51,885
Sam, Captain America is like, "I got this",

1917
01:12:51,927 --> 01:12:53,478
and he's already got the shotgun.

1918
01:12:53,520 --> 01:12:56,568
He's running in there and it's like, "Here, bear, bear."

1919
01:12:56,610 --> 01:12:59,668
How the SWAT operator is going, "Here, bear, bear, bear."

1920
01:12:59,710 --> 01:13:01,409
Here, bear, bear, bear.

1921
01:13:01,451 --> 01:13:04,308
I'm not gonna do impressions, that's for sure.

1922
01:13:04,350 --> 01:13:06,858
Sam is the quintessential SWAT guy.

1923
01:13:06,900 --> 01:13:10,698
He is, he did 20 years and then he was done.

1924
01:13:10,740 --> 01:13:11,573
You know,

1925
01:13:13,066 --> 01:13:14,598
and I start going to an act out right away

1926
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:16,188
'cause I think about how I see him

1927
01:13:16,230 --> 01:13:17,868
when I portray him on stage.

1928
01:13:17,910 --> 01:13:20,658
One of my favorite calls
I've ever had in my entire life,

1929
01:13:20,700 --> 01:13:23,598
not because of the call wasn't serious and dangerous,

1930
01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:25,848
but because who got to go on the call with me.

1931
01:13:25,890 --> 01:13:27,318
This lady called 911 one night.

1932
01:13:27,360 --> 01:13:29,958
She's like, "There's a bear in my kitchen,

1933
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:31,965
there's a bear in my kitchen."

1934
01:13:32,007 --> 01:13:32,798
(audience laughs)

1935
01:13:32,840 --> 01:13:34,038
We were on night shift together

1936
01:13:34,080 --> 01:13:36,438
and he was my sergeant

1937
01:13:36,480 --> 01:13:38,388
and I was a district deputy at the time.

1938
01:13:38,430 --> 01:13:39,528
And we get this call

1939
01:13:39,570 --> 01:13:42,728
because a bear went into somebody's house.

1940
01:13:42,770 --> 01:13:44,328
To make matters worse,

1941
01:13:44,370 --> 01:13:45,588
that night I was riding doubles

1942
01:13:45,630 --> 01:13:48,078
and I was paired up with one of the SWAT guys,

1943
01:13:48,120 --> 01:13:49,128
and his name is Sam.

1944
01:13:49,170 --> 01:13:50,208
He comes outta the station.

1945
01:13:50,250 --> 01:13:51,874
He's like, "Yeah, bro."

1946
01:13:51,916 --> 01:13:53,935
(audience laughs)

1947
01:13:53,977 --> 01:13:56,577
"Let's go get the bear, bro, let's go get the bear."

1948
01:13:58,590 --> 01:14:00,918
You know the SWATers, they
can't talk without doing this.

1949
01:14:00,960 --> 01:14:03,280
Hey bro, we're gonna go in on the side.

1950
01:14:03,322 --> 01:14:05,748
(audience laughs)

1951
01:14:05,790 --> 01:14:09,648
And the lady is, you know, letting dispatch know

1952
01:14:09,690 --> 01:14:10,935
that she's freaking out in the house

1953
01:14:10,977 --> 01:14:13,338
and we get up there and I was honestly like,

1954
01:14:13,380 --> 01:14:14,942
that's my fucking problem?

1955
01:14:14,984 --> 01:14:16,458
(audience laughs)

1956
01:14:16,500 --> 01:14:17,748
I mean, if it was a brown bear,

1957
01:14:17,790 --> 01:14:19,968
at least I could communicate, you know what I'm saying?

1958
01:14:20,010 --> 01:14:21,542
(audience laughs)

1959
01:14:21,584 --> 01:14:23,174
(speaks foreign language)

1960
01:14:23,216 --> 01:14:25,847
(Vinnie whistles)

1961
01:14:25,889 --> 01:14:28,722
(audience laughs)

1962
01:14:31,470 --> 01:14:33,408
Well, sometimes I think it's kind of cool, you know?

1963
01:14:33,450 --> 01:14:36,738
'Cause at one point in his version of the story,

1964
01:14:36,780 --> 01:14:39,618
he calls, you know, the SWAT guy

1965
01:14:39,660 --> 01:14:41,418
that likes to work out with the blonde hair

1966
01:14:41,460 --> 01:14:42,251
and the blue eyes.

1967
01:14:42,293 --> 01:14:43,578
And I don't have either.

1968
01:14:43,620 --> 01:14:46,098
Well, I got blue eyes, but I don't have any hair anymore.

1969
01:14:46,140 --> 01:14:47,688
And he refers to me as Captain America.

1970
01:14:47,730 --> 01:14:50,868
And I'm like, yeah, that's right, I'm Captain America.

1971
01:14:50,910 --> 01:14:53,852
- So Captain America and I
are gonna get this fucking bear.

1972
01:14:53,894 --> 01:14:56,478
(audience laughs)

1973
01:14:56,520 --> 01:14:58,368
And we're driving up the canyon and I'm driving,

1974
01:14:58,410 --> 01:15:00,510
I'm the one, 10 and two, baby, 10 and two,

1975
01:15:01,800 --> 01:15:04,428
and I leave him in charge of the siren.

1976
01:15:04,470 --> 01:15:08,850
And this dumbass plays one siren the entire run, one.

1977
01:15:09,810 --> 01:15:11,298
And it's the one that I hate the most.

1978
01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:12,773
The one that goes.

1979
01:15:12,815 --> 01:15:14,729
(Vinnie hums like siren)

1980
01:15:14,771 --> 01:15:17,649
(audience laughs)

1981
01:15:17,691 --> 01:15:19,698
I hate that siren, why?

1982
01:15:19,740 --> 01:15:21,048
Because all I can think about every time

1983
01:15:21,090 --> 01:15:25,068
I hear that siren is dumbass, dumbass.

1984
01:15:25,110 --> 01:15:27,798
And we go in and we go out into the hallway.

1985
01:15:27,840 --> 01:15:28,998
Close the door, I hear click, click.

1986
01:15:29,040 --> 01:15:30,438
And then I realized, oh shit,

1987
01:15:30,480 --> 01:15:33,438
we just locked ourself in a hallway

1988
01:15:33,480 --> 01:15:35,208
at the end of the hallway, you know,

1989
01:15:35,250 --> 01:15:36,558
which is about this wide.

1990
01:15:36,600 --> 01:15:38,298
So we're essentially in a kill box,

1991
01:15:38,340 --> 01:15:40,248
and we're in a bear kill box.

1992
01:15:40,290 --> 01:15:42,228
And I'm armed with a beanbag shotgun.

1993
01:15:42,270 --> 01:15:44,493
He goes running into the house,

1994
01:15:45,360 --> 01:15:47,058
and this is the next thing that I hear.

1995
01:15:47,100 --> 01:15:49,098
I am not making this up.

1996
01:15:49,140 --> 01:15:52,405
This is the very next thing I
hear coming from the house.

1997
01:15:52,447 --> 01:15:55,302
"Hear bear, bear, bear, bear, bear."

1998
01:15:55,344 --> 01:15:58,195
(audience laughs)

1999
01:15:58,237 --> 01:16:00,357
"Hey, bear where you at, bear?"

2000
01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:03,025
(audience laughs)

2001
01:16:03,067 --> 01:16:05,295
"Who's a good little bear?"

2002
01:16:05,337 --> 01:16:06,128
(audience laughs)

2003
01:16:06,170 --> 01:16:10,158
And Sam, of all the times that
we're supposed to be serious.

2004
01:16:10,200 --> 01:16:12,108
If the bear's got a way to get out,

2005
01:16:12,150 --> 01:16:14,118
as long as we're not between the path where he came in

2006
01:16:14,160 --> 01:16:15,318
and where he is,

2007
01:16:15,360 --> 01:16:16,593
he'll run away.

2008
01:16:17,760 --> 01:16:18,670
So I started going

2009
01:16:19,927 --> 01:16:23,028
"Here, bear, hear, bear bear,

2010
01:16:23,070 --> 01:16:24,858
who's a good bear?"

2011
01:16:24,900 --> 01:16:27,176
This pendejo's in there like Elmer Fudd.

2012
01:16:27,218 --> 01:16:28,551
(Vinnie laughs)

2013
01:16:28,593 --> 01:16:29,448
(audience laughs)

2014
01:16:29,490 --> 01:16:30,858
I wanna find a bear.

2015
01:16:30,900 --> 01:16:33,135
I wanna find a bear.

2016
01:16:33,177 --> 01:16:34,518
He, I'm like, what is he doing in there?

2017
01:16:34,560 --> 01:16:36,168
Searching the house all tactically,

2018
01:16:36,210 --> 01:16:38,238
pieing the corners around the kitchen.

2019
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:39,438
He sees the bear.

2020
01:16:39,480 --> 01:16:42,023
He's gonna come face to face with a bear

2021
01:16:42,065 --> 01:16:42,856
and be like.

2022
01:16:42,898 --> 01:16:44,034
(Vinnie slurps)

2023
01:16:44,076 --> 01:16:46,028
"Hey, Boo Boo, got a picnic basket?"

2024
01:16:46,070 --> 01:16:47,538
(audience laughs)

2025
01:16:47,580 --> 01:16:48,528
But then when he gets to the part

2026
01:16:48,570 --> 01:16:49,361
where we're in the hallway

2027
01:16:49,403 --> 01:16:51,978
and I'm like trying to let the bear know we're coming,

2028
01:16:52,020 --> 01:16:54,767
he does an Elmer Fudd version of me where he is like.

2029
01:16:54,809 --> 01:16:56,755
(Sam laughs)

2030
01:16:56,797 --> 01:16:57,588
"Here bear."

2031
01:16:57,630 --> 01:16:58,728
And you know, like, what do you,

2032
01:16:58,770 --> 01:16:59,658
what is he gonna do?

2033
01:16:59,700 --> 01:17:02,268
Have a, when he, if he finds the bear,

2034
01:17:02,310 --> 01:17:04,158
hey, you got a pick-a-nick basket?

2035
01:17:04,200 --> 01:17:06,228
And I'm like fuck, you know?

2036
01:17:06,270 --> 01:17:09,558
Well, I don't like that caricature of me

2037
01:17:09,600 --> 01:17:12,078
where I'm Elmer Fudd with a stupid hat.

2038
01:17:12,120 --> 01:17:13,968
Well, thank God the bear wasn't in the house

2039
01:17:14,010 --> 01:17:15,078
when we cleared it.

2040
01:17:15,120 --> 01:17:17,478
Well, I should say when Sam cleared it all by himself.

2041
01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:18,558
(audience laughs)

2042
01:17:18,600 --> 01:17:20,448
I was outside with my body camera rolling

2043
01:17:20,490 --> 01:17:22,848
thinking I was about to make $10,000.

2044
01:17:22,890 --> 01:17:24,768
I didn't have to shoot any beanbags at it.

2045
01:17:24,810 --> 01:17:26,148
We didn't get tore up.

2046
01:17:26,190 --> 01:17:27,348
Her kitchen did.

2047
01:17:27,390 --> 01:17:28,758
- So you're probably wondering
what happened to the bear.

2048
01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:29,988
After the scene was safe,

2049
01:17:30,030 --> 01:17:31,280
that's when I went inside

2050
01:17:33,150 --> 01:17:34,308
and I went into the kitchen area

2051
01:17:34,350 --> 01:17:35,418
and I started searching

2052
01:17:35,460 --> 01:17:37,878
and I started using my deductive reasoning skills

2053
01:17:37,920 --> 01:17:39,963
to deduce what had transpired.

2054
01:17:42,990 --> 01:17:44,358
And along the cabinetry area,

2055
01:17:44,400 --> 01:17:47,703
I saw there were tufts of fur scattered about.

2056
01:17:49,050 --> 01:17:50,448
And what I deduced was

2057
01:17:50,490 --> 01:17:53,358
the bear got into the chip cabinet,

2058
01:17:53,400 --> 01:17:56,080
ate an entire bag of kale chips

2059
01:17:57,030 --> 01:17:58,248
shit himself,

2060
01:17:58,290 --> 01:17:59,644
and ran out the back door.

2061
01:17:59,686 --> 01:18:00,477
(audience laughs)

2062
01:18:00,519 --> 01:18:02,418
And so later on when I started doing standup comedy,

2063
01:18:02,460 --> 01:18:04,368
I'm like, there has to be a bit about this,

2064
01:18:04,410 --> 01:18:05,418
how I could portray it.

2065
01:18:05,460 --> 01:18:07,308
So I always portray it like he's, you know,

2066
01:18:07,350 --> 01:18:10,398
Captain America and I talk
about him running the siren.

2067
01:18:10,440 --> 01:18:14,118
And I just take that whole story and morph it.

2068
01:18:14,160 --> 01:18:14,988
I'm honored to be in the room

2069
01:18:15,030 --> 01:18:16,698
because there's a lot of people
here who have lived through

2070
01:18:16,740 --> 01:18:19,128
some hardships through the things that we do, see,

2071
01:18:19,170 --> 01:18:21,078
taste, smell and have to experience.

2072
01:18:21,120 --> 01:18:22,428
Cops are just like everybody else.

2073
01:18:22,470 --> 01:18:24,708
They're human beings first.

2074
01:18:24,750 --> 01:18:27,648
And they do a job and a function within society

2075
01:18:27,690 --> 01:18:30,468
that puts 'em in bad situations.

2076
01:18:30,510 --> 01:18:32,298
Thank you very much for what you do.

2077
01:18:32,340 --> 01:18:34,278
Thank you very much for what you've done.

2078
01:18:34,320 --> 01:18:36,498
And thank you for being part of this profession.

2079
01:18:36,540 --> 01:18:38,508
If I could have my storybook ending,

2080
01:18:38,550 --> 01:18:41,058
we would come to peace with understanding

2081
01:18:41,100 --> 01:18:44,538
abroad, around the world and in this country

2082
01:18:44,580 --> 01:18:46,698
that being a police officer is not easy.

2083
01:18:46,740 --> 01:18:49,308
It's a especially difficult task

2084
01:18:49,350 --> 01:18:51,558
that we ask people to do in this world today.

2085
01:18:51,600 --> 01:18:54,528
The reason I got into comedy in 2007,

2086
01:18:54,570 --> 01:18:56,478
because I wanted to help my mental health, right?

2087
01:18:56,520 --> 01:18:57,708
We are police officers.

2088
01:18:57,750 --> 01:18:59,718
That's the career you guys are going for.

2089
01:18:59,760 --> 01:19:01,368
Take care of your mental health.

2090
01:19:01,410 --> 01:19:03,708
The outreach that I've already started

2091
01:19:03,750 --> 01:19:06,528
through my comedy to reduce the stigma

2092
01:19:06,570 --> 01:19:09,138
surrounding mental health and law enforcement,

2093
01:19:09,180 --> 01:19:10,668
but not just only law enforcement,

2094
01:19:10,710 --> 01:19:11,868
all first responders,

2095
01:19:11,910 --> 01:19:14,478
so that people are not afraid to say

2096
01:19:14,520 --> 01:19:16,788
when they're struggling.

2097
01:19:16,830 --> 01:19:18,108
512, code two.

2098
01:19:18,150 --> 01:19:21,708
I'd like to leave the sheriff's
office in good standing.

2099
01:19:21,750 --> 01:19:24,348
I want to transition into a full-time career

2100
01:19:24,390 --> 01:19:25,478
of standup comedy.

2101
01:19:25,520 --> 01:19:27,258
It is where it's at for me.

2102
01:19:27,300 --> 01:19:29,748
I want to have a Netflix special

2103
01:19:29,790 --> 01:19:31,968
and I will accomplish that goal, God willing.

2104
01:19:32,010 --> 01:19:34,788
I have a goal for myself in the next couple years here,

2105
01:19:34,830 --> 01:19:36,888
is to get back into that fighting weight condition.

2106
01:19:36,930 --> 01:19:38,238
It's always adding something else.

2107
01:19:38,280 --> 01:19:40,548
But I think if I want to have a longevity

2108
01:19:40,590 --> 01:19:41,748
in standup comedy,

2109
01:19:41,790 --> 01:19:44,388
I think I'm gonna need to
really address that part of it.

2110
01:19:44,430 --> 01:19:47,180
And maybe my time at Taco Bell is gonna come to an end.

2111
01:19:48,840 --> 01:19:50,448
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Vinnie Montez.

2112
01:19:50,490 --> 01:19:51,882
It's been a pleasure to be here with you tonight.

2113
01:19:51,924 --> 01:19:52,715
(audience applauds)

2114
01:19:52,757 --> 01:19:53,673
Vinnie Montez, it's been a pleasure to be here tonight.

2115
01:19:53,715 --> 01:19:54,782
(audience applauds and cheers)

2116
01:19:54,824 --> 01:19:56,778
So my thanks to all of you guys, have a good night.

2117
01:19:56,820 --> 01:19:59,641
Arvada, Colorado, I'm Vinnie Montez.

2118
01:19:59,683 --> 01:20:02,028
Las Vegas, Nevada, thank you guys very much.

2119
01:20:02,070 --> 01:20:03,870
God bless each and every one of you.

2120
01:20:07,983 --> 01:20:09,556
♪ Well, I am white ♪

2121
01:20:09,598 --> 01:20:11,484
♪ And I'm from ♪

2122
01:20:11,526 --> 01:20:13,109
♪ I'm from the country ♪

2123
01:20:13,151 --> 01:20:15,071
♪ And I'm from Downtown ♪

2124
01:20:15,113 --> 01:20:16,612
♪ I eat bacon ♪

2125
01:20:16,654 --> 01:20:18,571
♪ And I eat beans ♪

2126
01:20:18,613 --> 01:20:20,114
♪ I drink whiskey ♪

2127
01:20:20,156 --> 01:20:22,286
♪ And I drink tea ♪

2128
01:20:22,328 --> 01:20:23,691
(group laughs)

2129
01:20:23,733 --> 01:20:25,188
♪ I like his shoes ♪

2130
01:20:25,230 --> 01:20:26,418
That was a part of it too.

2131
01:20:26,460 --> 01:20:29,305
- What? - God.

2132
01:20:29,347 --> 01:20:32,238
♪ I called my tractor Juan ♪

2133
01:20:32,280 --> 01:20:33,243
Not John Deere?

2134
01:20:34,548 --> 01:20:36,385
Tequila.

2135
01:20:36,427 --> 01:20:37,625
I drink tequila, okay, go ahead.

2136
01:20:37,667 --> 01:20:39,181
♪ I'm white ♪

2137
01:20:39,223 --> 01:20:40,397
♪ And I'm brown ♪

2138
01:20:40,439 --> 01:20:42,391
♪ I'm from the country ♪

2139
01:20:42,433 --> 01:20:44,311
♪ And I'm from Downtown ♪

2140
01:20:44,353 --> 01:20:45,922
♪ I eat bacon ♪

2141
01:20:45,964 --> 01:20:47,568
♪ And I eat beans ♪

2142
01:20:47,610 --> 01:20:48,618
Oh, you know what it was, dude, it was the opposite.

2143
01:20:48,660 --> 01:20:50,148
You singing beets or beans?

2144
01:20:50,190 --> 01:20:50,981
No beans.

2145
01:20:51,023 --> 01:20:52,528
And we were singing the opposite.

2146
01:20:52,570 --> 01:20:54,234
♪ I drive a low rider ♪

2147
01:20:54,276 --> 01:20:56,538
♪ I drive four by four ♪

2148
01:20:56,580 --> 01:20:57,498
That's still not Ford.

2149
01:20:57,540 --> 01:20:58,580
I drive.

2150
01:20:58,622 --> 01:21:00,640
(group laughs)

2151
01:21:00,682 --> 01:21:03,108
Well, a low rider's not a make of a car.

2152
01:21:03,150 --> 01:21:04,788
Oh, okay, well, oh that's right.

2153
01:21:04,830 --> 01:21:05,808
Oh, that's right, okay.

2154
01:21:05,850 --> 01:21:07,127
Hit it.

2155
01:21:07,169 --> 01:21:08,999
♪ I drive a Chevy ♪

2156
01:21:09,041 --> 01:21:10,597
♪ I drive a Ford ♪

2157
01:21:10,639 --> 01:21:12,127
♪ I like low riders ♪

2158
01:21:12,169 --> 01:21:13,428
♪ I love four by fours ♪

2159
01:21:13,470 --> 01:21:15,078
That's it.

2160
01:21:15,120 --> 01:21:16,400
Was that it?

2161
01:21:16,442 --> 01:21:18,301
♪ Well, I'm white ♪

2162
01:21:18,343 --> 01:21:19,724
♪ And I'm brown ♪

2163
01:21:19,766 --> 01:21:21,428
♪ I'm from the country ♪

2164
01:21:21,470 --> 01:21:23,222
♪ And I'm from downtown ♪

2165
01:21:23,264 --> 01:21:24,849
♪ I eat bacon ♪

2166
01:21:24,891 --> 01:21:27,750
♪ I eat beans ♪

2167
01:21:27,792 --> 01:21:29,979
♪ You like tortillas ♪

2168
01:21:30,021 --> 01:21:31,674
♪ You love cheese ♪

2169
01:21:31,716 --> 01:21:32,507
(Vinnie laughs)

2170
01:21:32,549 --> 01:21:36,216
(dramatic orchestral music)

2171
01:22:07,482 --> 01:22:11,149
(dramatic orchestral music)