WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ

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Send text to Tyler.

4
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<i>What would you like to say?</i>

5
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Hi, exclamation point.

6
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I just arrived,
exclamation point.

7
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<i>Your message to Tyler says,</i>

8
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<i>"Hi! I just arrived!"</i>

9
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- Send.
<i>- Okay.</i>

10
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<i>Message sent.</i>

11
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<i>Tyler says,
"Glad you arrived safely."</i>

12
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<i>Would you like to reply?</i>

13
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<i>Tyler says,
"Thank you again
for being there."</i>

14
00:02:52.798 --> 00:02:55.299
<i>Tyler says,
"I'm so grateful for you."</i>

15
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<i>- Would you like to reply?</i>
- No.

16
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<i>Okay.</i>

17
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Oh! Hey, hello.

18
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- Hi, Mrs. Patterson, I'm--
- This plant shouldn't be dying.

19
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I just bought it two weeks ago.
It's unbelievable.

20
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All the leaves
keep falling off.

21
00:04:19.551 --> 00:04:20.634
Should I come in?

22
00:04:20.635 --> 00:04:22.553
Well, I didn't slam
the door on you.

23
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It's a succulent,
for God's sake.

24
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Shouldn't be dying.

25
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I've done nothing wrong,
that's for sure.

26
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We take our shoes off
in this house.

27
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- Sorry.
- Everything out there is dirt.

28
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Yeah, a-and cold.

29
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Where is that "dry heat"
you hear so much about?

30
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- What was your name again?
- Jamie.

31
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Here, we say our first
and last name.

32
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Sorry. Jamie Simms.

33
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Well, I'll probably have
to ask you your name again.

34
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Just know that.
I can't apologize for it.

35
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I've got a lot going on.
And now, with you here.

36
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I completely understan... d.

37
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I'm sorry, I wasn't sure
if you wanted me to follow you.

38
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- I don't know what's happening.
-  I know.

39
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- It's a very unusual situation.
- It's all starting to rot.

40
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It's possible
it's being overwatered.

41
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- It could also be
under-watered, so that's--
- I'll tell you one thing

42
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I did do wrong.
I trusted Doris Kato.

43
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Friend from New York.
She raved about this nursery,

44
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which, of course, she did.
Her cousin opened it.

45
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A cousin, by the way,
no one's ever even
heard of until now.

46
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A Sue or a Veronica or Patty.
I don't fucking know.

47
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I wasn't listening.
She went on and on and on.

48
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"I'm so proud of my cousin.
She's starting over.

49
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We should really support her."

50
00:05:42.050 --> 00:05:45.052
Well, I'm sorry, but clearly,
Sue-Veronica-Patty

51
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needs to start over again.

52
00:05:46.972 --> 00:05:48.472
Well, I can take it back
if you'd like.

53
00:05:48.473 --> 00:05:49.474
Why?

54
00:05:51.726 --> 00:05:53.477
- If you're not happy.
- Are you already on the clock?

55
00:05:53.478 --> 00:05:55.646
- Is that how this works?
-  No, I just--

56
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I'm gonna save it.
It's dying, not dead.

57
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It can be saved.

58
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I'm gonna make a cocktail.
I need one.

59
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Can I pour you something?

60
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- Um...
- Yeah, it's early.

61
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Oh, no, that's not what I meant.
I just-- I'm--

62
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I'm just not much
of a drinker, actually.

63
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But thank you. I had a--

64
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had an incident in college.

65
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Yeah, I broke my jaw.

66
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Just completely tanked

67
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on Long Island iced teas.

68
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I blacked out
right onto the sidewalk.

69
00:06:29.014 --> 00:06:32.182
I had to have my jaw wired shut
for over a month.

70
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So, any of the smells
of the numerous alcohols

71
00:06:34.769 --> 00:06:37.104
in a Long Island
are a bit of a trigger for me.

72
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Are you triggered
by the smell of water?

73
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Because that's all I have.

74
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Or Pedialyte.

75
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Well, I've never been one
to turn down a Pedialyte.

76
00:06:46.239 --> 00:06:47.949
Blueberry or unflavored?

77
00:06:50.785 --> 00:06:52.369
Water's awesome.

78
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So, how long will you be here?

79
00:06:54.414 --> 00:06:56.875
It depends. Uh, a few days,
maybe a week.

80
00:06:57.542 --> 00:06:59.376
That's "a few days,
maybe a week"?

81
00:06:59.377 --> 00:07:01.129
Well, for a gay man, yes.

82
00:07:02.255 --> 00:07:04.215
I wasn't expecting
to-- to come here.

83
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None of this was expected.

84
00:07:07.552 --> 00:07:09.596
Oh, no. I'm sorry, I didn't...

85
00:07:10.931 --> 00:07:13.307
Um, I was packed
for a different trip,

86
00:07:13.308 --> 00:07:15.643
for-- for a longer trip
when your son called.

87
00:07:15.644 --> 00:07:19.271
So then, this trip got
tacked on to-- to that trip.

88
00:07:19.272 --> 00:07:22.107
And you're driving for that trip
and this trip?

89
00:07:22.108 --> 00:07:23.567
Yeah, I prefer it.

90
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You know, time alone,
time to think.

91
00:07:25.236 --> 00:07:26.821
I like a road trip.

92
00:07:28.114 --> 00:07:29.741
Oh, God.

93
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- I have more socks.
- You think they made the cut?

94
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Yeah, I, uh,

95
00:07:46.508 --> 00:07:48.509
I love a road trip.

96
00:07:48.510 --> 00:07:52.262
It's a great way to, uh,
to see New Mexico.

97
00:07:52.263 --> 00:07:56.350
It's my first time, actually.
It's so beautiful.

98
00:07:56.351 --> 00:07:58.602
But it is funny, you know?
You see the desert landscape,

99
00:07:58.603 --> 00:08:01.105
and you just assume,
well, that's gonna be hot--

100
00:08:01.106 --> 00:08:02.983
So, how does this work?
You, here?

101
00:08:03.942 --> 00:08:05.442
Um, however you'd like it.

102
00:08:05.443 --> 00:08:06.777
No, I didn't ask
for any of this.

103
00:08:06.778 --> 00:08:08.779
So, it's not "however."
You tell me.

104
00:08:08.780 --> 00:08:10.781
Uh, I'm-- I'm just
here to help.

105
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Me grieve?

106
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No. No, I couldn't possibly.

107
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No, you couldn't.
I'm more than capable.

108
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I just meant I could help, um,

109
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with arrangements,
um, running errands.

110
00:08:22.293 --> 00:08:25.045
- I think Tyler was thinking--
- Yes, what was my son thinking,

111
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sending you in his place?

112
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I think Tyler's
worried about you.

113
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I thought you'd be
better at that.

114
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Lying.

115
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Isn't that what assistants
do best?

116
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- He is worried.
- Fine. He's worried.

117
00:08:44.983 --> 00:08:46.400
And you know he would be here
in a heartbeat

118
00:08:46.401 --> 00:08:47.651
if he wasn't stuck
overseas doing--

119
00:08:47.652 --> 00:08:49.319
Overseas doing research
for the new book.

120
00:08:49.320 --> 00:08:51.321
Yes, that much I learned
in his texts to me,

121
00:08:51.322 --> 00:08:53.657
along with his condolences
for my husband,

122
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and regrets that he might not
be able to make it back
for the funeral.

123
00:08:55.994 --> 00:08:59.413
And then, two days ago,
I learned that his assistant

124
00:08:59.414 --> 00:09:02.332
would be here in his absence,
in a text from you.

125
00:09:02.333 --> 00:09:03.834
Y-Yes, that is on me.

126
00:09:03.835 --> 00:09:05.669
I told Tyler
I would reach out, and I--

127
00:09:05.670 --> 00:09:07.588
and I should have let him
do that first.

128
00:09:07.589 --> 00:09:09.506
And why might
he not make it back?

129
00:09:09.507 --> 00:09:12.843
There's a prisoner of war
that he's hoping to interview,

130
00:09:12.844 --> 00:09:14.344
uh, in Khartoum.

131
00:09:14.345 --> 00:09:16.555
He has a contact,
an insider

132
00:09:16.556 --> 00:09:18.932
in the Sudanese
Armed Forces that--

133
00:09:18.933 --> 00:09:21.769
It's timing, basically.
It's-- it's about timing.

134
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It-- He just has to be ready
for when it will be safe.

135
00:09:23.730 --> 00:09:26.273
And will it be safe
before Saturday to be here?

136
00:09:26.274 --> 00:09:27.900
That's the hope, yes.
That's what he's hoping.

137
00:09:27.901 --> 00:09:29.943
- Mm, that's in seven days.
- Yes.

138
00:09:29.944 --> 00:09:31.196
So, we're hoping it's...

139
00:09:32.363 --> 00:09:33.739
Safe before Saturday.

140
00:09:33.740 --> 00:09:35.532
And if it doesn't become safe,

141
00:09:35.533 --> 00:09:37.535
will you be sitting beside me
at the funeral?

142
00:09:39.746 --> 00:09:41.538
- Well, no. I-- I mean,
I couldn't--
- Why?

143
00:09:41.539 --> 00:09:42.873
You're doing
everything else for Tyler.

144
00:09:42.874 --> 00:09:45.042
Why can't you be my son
on the day?

145
00:09:45.043 --> 00:09:46.585
Well, because
I'm no replacement for him--

146
00:09:46.586 --> 00:09:49.047
You'd be surprised
how low that bar is.

147
00:09:55.428 --> 00:09:57.055
Did you want me
to get the water?

148
00:09:59.474 --> 00:10:01.392
I-It's okay, no worries.

149
00:10:02.560 --> 00:10:04.561
- So, you don't want the water?
- No.

150
00:10:04.562 --> 00:10:06.105
No-- I mean, yes,
I do want the water.

151
00:10:06.106 --> 00:10:07.606
I just meant
no worries in that...

152
00:10:07.607 --> 00:10:09.817
-  Oh, my God.
- ...it's okay that you forgot.

153
00:10:11.653 --> 00:10:14.071
Sorry, I meant to put
my phone on vibrate.

154
00:10:17.242 --> 00:10:20.619
- Is that Tyler?
- Um, most likely, yes.

155
00:10:20.620 --> 00:10:23.580
Your son texts
from his computer,

156
00:10:23.581 --> 00:10:26.083
so he's just constantly
hitting return

157
00:10:26.084 --> 00:10:27.835
and sending one sentence
at a time.

158
00:10:27.836 --> 00:10:28.837
Yes, it is him.

159
00:10:33.091 --> 00:10:35.760
Uh, he's just making sure
I arrived safely.

160
00:10:37.262 --> 00:10:40.305
That's a lot of sentences
for such a simple message.

161
00:10:40.306 --> 00:10:41.307
Uh...

162
00:10:42.308 --> 00:10:44.184
Uh, let's see what he says.

163
00:10:44.185 --> 00:10:45.811
- Um...
-  Forget it.

164
00:10:45.812 --> 00:10:48.147
It doesn't all
have to be my business.

165
00:10:48.148 --> 00:10:49.774
But to the part that is...

166
00:10:50.817 --> 00:10:53.653
you can say that you
arrived safely and that...

167
00:10:54.946 --> 00:10:56.947
I'm doing well.

168
00:10:56.948 --> 00:10:58.949
In case that's his follow-up.

169
00:10:58.950 --> 00:11:00.868
Oh, and I'll take room temp.
There's no need for ice

170
00:11:00.869 --> 00:11:02.369
if the desert's not
gonna be hot.

171
00:11:02.370 --> 00:11:04.163
Yes, it's winter.
For God's sake,

172
00:11:04.164 --> 00:11:06.165
please stop being
blown away by that.

173
00:11:10.003 --> 00:11:11.753
He sent a heart emoji.

174
00:11:11.754 --> 00:11:14.007
Is that for you arriving safely
or me doing well?

175
00:11:14.966 --> 00:11:17.384
- Imagine both.
- How economical of him.

176
00:11:20.847 --> 00:11:23.140
I prefer you leave
the chime on.

177
00:11:23.141 --> 00:11:25.393
That way I'll know
when <i>we</i> hear from him.

178
00:11:27.520 --> 00:11:28.521
Of course.

179
00:11:29.981 --> 00:11:31.357
- What?
- Nothing.

180
00:11:32.483 --> 00:11:34.193
- Am I a lot?
- No.

181
00:11:34.194 --> 00:11:36.528
That's a shame,
'cause I'm trying to be.

182
00:11:36.529 --> 00:11:38.822
You'll forgive me, Jamie,
but I'm having a hard time

183
00:11:38.823 --> 00:11:40.324
processing your presence.

184
00:11:40.325 --> 00:11:42.826
I know, I'm just--
I'm just doing my job.

185
00:11:42.827 --> 00:11:45.537
You understand my position, yes?
Why I'd be so agitated

186
00:11:45.538 --> 00:11:47.372
to learn that I'm your job?

187
00:11:47.373 --> 00:11:50.083
No, no, I'm sorry.
Being here is my job for Tyler.

188
00:11:50.084 --> 00:11:52.211
I didn't mean to imply
that you're my responsibility.

189
00:11:52.212 --> 00:11:54.004
Well, Tyler seems
to think differently.

190
00:11:54.005 --> 00:11:56.340
He seems to think he can
pass off his responsibility

191
00:11:56.341 --> 00:11:58.467
to be here to say goodbye
to his stepfather.

192
00:11:58.468 --> 00:12:00.719
Not that he ever called
Henry anything but Henry,

193
00:12:00.720 --> 00:12:02.012
let alone made an effort

194
00:12:02.013 --> 00:12:04.181
to have any kind of
relationship with him.

195
00:12:04.182 --> 00:12:05.849
So, well, maybe that's it.

196
00:12:05.850 --> 00:12:07.851
Maybe that's why
he doesn't feel he has
a responsibility

197
00:12:07.852 --> 00:12:09.561
to be here?

198
00:12:09.562 --> 00:12:11.730
But my son does have
a relationship with me,

199
00:12:11.731 --> 00:12:14.441
or did at one point--
a good one,

200
00:12:14.442 --> 00:12:16.068
which I think counts.

201
00:12:16.069 --> 00:12:18.696
So, there is a responsibility
there to me.

202
00:12:19.739 --> 00:12:21.490
- Tyler is doing his best.
- Oh, please.

203
00:12:21.491 --> 00:12:23.492
- I think given
the circumstances--
- Yes, you have to defend him.

204
00:12:23.493 --> 00:12:25.702
I get it, it's your job,
but I don't, so I won't.

205
00:12:25.703 --> 00:12:27.579
Overseas is bullshit.

206
00:12:27.580 --> 00:12:29.289
My husband
didn't just suddenly die.

207
00:12:29.290 --> 00:12:30.374
He had Parkinson's.

208
00:12:30.375 --> 00:12:31.541
We knew where we were headed,

209
00:12:31.542 --> 00:12:32.960
and so did Tyler.

210
00:12:32.961 --> 00:12:35.755
I actually called him
two weeks ago to tell him...

211
00:12:37.882 --> 00:12:40.092
To tell his voicemail,
at least.

212
00:12:40.093 --> 00:12:41.885
I told him Henry
had taken a turn,

213
00:12:41.886 --> 00:12:44.721
things were complicated,
and time was not on our side.

214
00:12:44.722 --> 00:12:47.933
So, again, you'll forgive me
if I intend to allow myself

215
00:12:47.934 --> 00:12:50.228
some agitation
and disappointment.

216
00:12:57.402 --> 00:12:59.737
I understand. I do.

217
00:13:01.281 --> 00:13:03.157
But I'm not here
if you don't want me to be.

218
00:13:05.118 --> 00:13:07.744
Which is something
you could have conveyed

219
00:13:07.745 --> 00:13:09.746
two days ago when I texted you.

220
00:13:09.747 --> 00:13:12.249
But that said, I am here
because of Tyler,

221
00:13:12.250 --> 00:13:14.251
because he thought
I might be of help.

222
00:13:14.252 --> 00:13:15.670
But if you don't want that...

223
00:13:16.504 --> 00:13:19.507
if you would like me to leave,
I also understand that.

224
00:13:25.763 --> 00:13:27.265
I haven't made up my mind yet.

225
00:13:30.351 --> 00:13:31.352
Okay.

226
00:13:32.937 --> 00:13:33.938
So...

227
00:13:35.481 --> 00:13:37.483
how long have you
been his assistant?

228
00:13:38.443 --> 00:13:40.986
Uh, going on about
four years now.

229
00:13:40.987 --> 00:13:43.113
Wow.
Obviously, I'm aware

230
00:13:43.114 --> 00:13:45.198
Tyler and I have been
somewhat estranged for a while,

231
00:13:45.199 --> 00:13:47.160
but to not even know
of your existence?

232
00:13:48.286 --> 00:13:51.997
Although I'm not sure that's
more of a slight on me or you.

233
00:13:53.958 --> 00:13:55.459
Well, it doesn't bother me.

234
00:13:55.460 --> 00:13:56.627
How old are you?

235
00:13:58.046 --> 00:13:59.047
Forty-two.

236
00:14:00.965 --> 00:14:03.675
Four-- 46. Final answer.

237
00:14:03.676 --> 00:14:06.053
- So, older than Tyler?
- Y-Yeah, it's just eight years.

238
00:14:06.054 --> 00:14:07.721
- Doesn't mean-- It's not crazy.
- Of course not.

239
00:14:07.722 --> 00:14:09.806
- Is that an issue for you?
- No.

240
00:14:09.807 --> 00:14:12.809
Really? Because at first,
you made yourself less older.

241
00:14:12.810 --> 00:14:14.728
- Uh...
- I just have to imagine

242
00:14:14.729 --> 00:14:18.315
it's an interesting dynamic
for you as Tyler's assistant,

243
00:14:18.316 --> 00:14:21.735
with where he is in his life
at his exact age.

244
00:14:21.736 --> 00:14:23.987
- He's very successful.
- I'm-- I'm successful.

245
00:14:23.988 --> 00:14:26.907
I'm sorry, this...
this feels like an interview.

246
00:14:26.908 --> 00:14:29.159
Well, I'm being asked
to spend a few days,

247
00:14:29.160 --> 00:14:31.536
maybe a week,
with a complete stranger.

248
00:14:31.537 --> 00:14:33.580
I think I'm entitled
to know more.

249
00:14:33.581 --> 00:14:35.916
Yeah, this is all kind of
a second chapter for me.

250
00:14:35.917 --> 00:14:40.045
When I left NYU,
I took a job as a copywriter,

251
00:14:40.046 --> 00:14:42.506
but I wasn't happy
with anything.

252
00:14:42.507 --> 00:14:46.426
So, I decided to quit
and start over in LA.

253
00:14:46.427 --> 00:14:48.095
Where you took
the job with Tyler.

254
00:14:48.096 --> 00:14:49.763
Um, yeah, eventually, yes.

255
00:14:49.764 --> 00:14:52.766
- Because you were a fan?
- Y-Yes, but when I got to LA,

256
00:14:52.767 --> 00:14:55.268
I didn't purposely seek him out.

257
00:14:55.269 --> 00:14:58.772
We just happened to randomly
bump into each other

258
00:14:58.773 --> 00:15:01.192
in West Hollywood at a bar.

259
00:15:02.527 --> 00:15:03.611
A gay bar?

260
00:15:04.362 --> 00:15:07.614
I mean, not-- not all bars
in West Hollywood are gay bars.

261
00:15:07.615 --> 00:15:08.699
So, it wasn't a gay bar?

262
00:15:10.243 --> 00:15:12.536
- No, it was...
- Mm-hmm.

263
00:15:12.537 --> 00:15:14.371
You know, I mentioned
what brought me to LA,

264
00:15:14.372 --> 00:15:17.707
and he, you know, he mentioned
being very overwhelmed

265
00:15:17.708 --> 00:15:19.627
and very inundated, and...

266
00:15:20.753 --> 00:15:22.046
I don't know, I just...

267
00:15:23.381 --> 00:15:25.382
I remember thinking that
it felt like we were meeting

268
00:15:25.383 --> 00:15:26.551
for a reason.

269
00:15:27.593 --> 00:15:30.054
So, I offered myself up.
As his assistant.

270
00:15:31.431 --> 00:15:32.889
So, I'm curious.

271
00:15:32.890 --> 00:15:34.767
Mm, what has Tyler
said about me?

272
00:15:38.563 --> 00:15:41.065
What has Tyler said about you?

273
00:15:42.733 --> 00:15:45.153
Yes, I imagine he's mentioned me
at some point.

274
00:15:46.737 --> 00:15:48.238
Yeah, no,
I'm just trying to think.

275
00:15:48.239 --> 00:15:49.406
What he's said about me?

276
00:15:49.407 --> 00:15:50.949
Honestly, he doesn't
really talk much about--

277
00:15:50.950 --> 00:15:52.909
- Me?
- Childhood.

278
00:15:52.910 --> 00:15:54.286
That included me.

279
00:15:54.287 --> 00:15:55.662
Mrs. Patterson--

280
00:15:55.663 --> 00:15:56.997
You're "46. Final answer."

281
00:15:56.998 --> 00:15:58.499
We can be at Diane.

282
00:15:59.292 --> 00:16:00.917
Diane, with all due respect--

283
00:16:00.918 --> 00:16:02.961
He sent you here,
so I have to assume

284
00:16:02.962 --> 00:16:04.754
- something's been said.
- Okay, he said you were,

285
00:16:04.755 --> 00:16:06.423
uh, a great cook,

286
00:16:06.424 --> 00:16:09.634
a big traveler,
that you like movies.

287
00:16:09.635 --> 00:16:12.512
Ooh, wow!
What a vivid picture.

288
00:16:12.513 --> 00:16:14.974
So, no adjectives. Huh.

289
00:16:16.601 --> 00:16:19.561
Uh, Diane, I'm sorry, I can't.

290
00:16:19.562 --> 00:16:21.521
Part of my being here,

291
00:16:21.522 --> 00:16:23.940
part of working for Tyler--
working for anybody, really,

292
00:16:23.941 --> 00:16:27.861
as an assistant, is that there
has to be some sort of semblance

293
00:16:27.862 --> 00:16:29.946
of a cone of silence
when it comes to stuff

294
00:16:29.947 --> 00:16:32.407
discussed about anything,

295
00:16:32.408 --> 00:16:34.159
including family.

296
00:16:34.160 --> 00:16:35.952
It's not mine to share.

297
00:16:35.953 --> 00:16:38.956
I have to be a safe place
for Tyler, and I have been.

298
00:16:39.874 --> 00:16:42.209
And should you choose
to have me here,

299
00:16:42.210 --> 00:16:43.543
I would be that for you.

300
00:16:43.544 --> 00:16:46.047
I-- I would be
a cone of silence.

301
00:16:47.048 --> 00:16:48.549
Which is something
I think you would want.

302
00:16:53.179 --> 00:16:54.888
Some things
should remain unsaid.

303
00:16:54.889 --> 00:16:57.474
I have experience with that.

304
00:16:57.475 --> 00:16:59.684
Besides, I doubt
you could tell me

305
00:16:59.685 --> 00:17:01.562
anything I don't already know.

306
00:17:02.813 --> 00:17:04.482
Can't be much good in there.

307
00:17:07.068 --> 00:17:10.696
- Well, that's not true.
- And that's not true, either.

308
00:17:14.659 --> 00:17:16.201
Do you mind if I use
your bathroom?

309
00:17:16.202 --> 00:17:18.578
Yeah. That would seem
cruel if I said no,

310
00:17:18.579 --> 00:17:20.997
seeing as you just drank
the equivalent of a lake.

311
00:17:26.170 --> 00:17:28.171
- Um...
- We removed the door

312
00:17:28.172 --> 00:17:30.508
- to make it easier for Henry.
- Oh, sure.

313
00:17:32.927 --> 00:17:35.720
- You know, I think
I'm good, actually--
- Do your business.

314
00:17:35.721 --> 00:17:37.515
I'll refill your lake.

315
00:17:46.107 --> 00:17:47.817
That's odd.
I don't remember...

316
00:17:48.526 --> 00:17:50.860
- turning that off, that's crazy.
- Yes.

317
00:17:52.238 --> 00:17:54.239
I don't know why
that chime's not on.

318
00:17:54.240 --> 00:17:55.949
- Do you need me
to bring it to you?
- No, no!

319
00:17:55.950 --> 00:17:57.284
Nope, almost done.

320
00:17:57.285 --> 00:17:59.077
Yep, just...

321
00:17:59.078 --> 00:18:00.370
...wrapping it up.

322
00:18:04.542 --> 00:18:07.043
Sorry about that.
I don't remember

323
00:18:07.044 --> 00:18:08.129
putting it on the...

324
00:18:09.130 --> 00:18:10.922
Um...

325
00:18:10.923 --> 00:18:12.674
Unfortunately, he knows
it's already gonna be

326
00:18:12.675 --> 00:18:15.760
another day of waiting.
It's-- It's still not safe.

327
00:18:15.761 --> 00:18:17.554
I think your son is stressed.

328
00:18:17.555 --> 00:18:20.473
Most of this is him just
asking me to quiet his mind.

329
00:18:20.474 --> 00:18:23.059
He's wondering if he's doing
the right thing by being there.

330
00:18:23.060 --> 00:18:24.812
Do you think he's doing
the right thing?

331
00:18:27.481 --> 00:18:29.441
- That's not my place to--
- Will you reassure him

332
00:18:29.442 --> 00:18:30.735
that he's doing the right thing?

333
00:18:32.570 --> 00:18:34.780
Your son is grappling
with all of this, for sure.

334
00:18:42.413 --> 00:18:43.622
- I like all the art.
-  Sure.

335
00:18:43.623 --> 00:18:45.582
We can change the subject.

336
00:18:45.583 --> 00:18:47.208
No, no, I meant
to mention that.

337
00:18:47.209 --> 00:18:49.628
No, I welcome it.
The art is all Henry.

338
00:18:49.629 --> 00:18:51.588
He painted.

339
00:18:51.589 --> 00:18:53.591
Was a painter. Not a hobby.

340
00:18:54.634 --> 00:18:57.927
After he was diagnosed just
a little over three years ago,

341
00:18:57.928 --> 00:18:59.929
Henry wanted us to move out here

342
00:18:59.930 --> 00:19:02.098
so he could paint
this part of the world

343
00:19:02.099 --> 00:19:03.351
before he could no longer.

344
00:19:05.603 --> 00:19:07.646
I offered to buy him
coffee table books

345
00:19:07.647 --> 00:19:09.814
and just bring this world
to New York.

346
00:19:09.815 --> 00:19:13.443
But he insisted his eyes
see it for themselves.

347
00:19:13.444 --> 00:19:15.570
He knew it was a big ask.

348
00:19:15.571 --> 00:19:19.199
My life was in Manhattan.
I was leaving my career, and...

349
00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:21.160
But of course,
I said I loved the idea.

350
00:19:22.787 --> 00:19:24.955
That was the only lie
I ever told my husband.

351
00:19:26.290 --> 00:19:27.875
That husband, anyway.

352
00:19:28.959 --> 00:19:30.836
He was hoping
to finish that before he...

353
00:19:36.175 --> 00:19:37.967
What did Tyler
tell you about Henry?

354
00:19:37.968 --> 00:19:39.511
- Diane--
- No.

355
00:19:39.512 --> 00:19:41.304
No cone of silence,
not with Henry.

356
00:19:41.305 --> 00:19:42.472
With me, fine.

357
00:19:42.473 --> 00:19:44.140
Yes, he said you, uh,

358
00:19:44.141 --> 00:19:46.476
had been together
for 27 years, I think.

359
00:19:46.477 --> 00:19:48.144
Twenty-nine. What else?

360
00:19:48.145 --> 00:19:49.979
And, uh, that you two

361
00:19:49.980 --> 00:19:52.065
deserved each other,
which I thought was sweet.

362
00:19:54.151 --> 00:19:56.237
It can be heard that way.
Is that it?

363
00:19:58.823 --> 00:20:00.073
Yeah.

364
00:20:00.074 --> 00:20:01.701
Maybe deal with that.

365
00:20:02.868 --> 00:20:04.577
Oh, my God.

366
00:20:04.578 --> 00:20:07.080
Now, the sun is being
an asshole.

367
00:20:07.081 --> 00:20:08.498
Oh, <i>that</i> sun.
Sorry.

368
00:20:08.499 --> 00:20:10.166
- What?
- Sorry, I keep thinking

369
00:20:10.167 --> 00:20:11.918
- that you're talking about--
- It's relentless!

370
00:20:11.919 --> 00:20:13.920
Everything here is exposed.

371
00:20:13.921 --> 00:20:15.839
Well, I think some time in
the direct sunlight might be--

372
00:20:15.840 --> 00:20:18.174
- might be helpful.
- Well, then you tell me
what to do with it.

373
00:20:18.175 --> 00:20:19.801
- What?
- You were sent to assist.

374
00:20:19.802 --> 00:20:21.886
So, assist. Sun or shade?

375
00:20:21.887 --> 00:20:23.847
Sun or shade?

376
00:20:23.848 --> 00:20:25.223
- Uh, whichever.
- Not "whichever."

377
00:20:25.224 --> 00:20:26.683
You have an opinion, express it.

378
00:20:26.684 --> 00:20:27.726
Okay, I think maybe some time

379
00:20:27.727 --> 00:20:28.893
where-- in the--

380
00:20:28.894 --> 00:20:30.520
And for God's sake, respond!

381
00:20:30.521 --> 00:20:32.605
Quiet his mind or whatever it is
he needs you to do.

382
00:20:32.606 --> 00:20:34.357
- I'm telling him to hang on.
- "He's stressed."

383
00:20:34.358 --> 00:20:36.151
What the hell
does he think I'm feeling?

384
00:20:36.152 --> 00:20:38.236
Does he even acknowledge
what's happening here?

385
00:20:38.237 --> 00:20:39.362
What I'm going through?

386
00:20:39.363 --> 00:20:41.573
Does he even attempt
to text that?

387
00:20:41.574 --> 00:20:44.200
No, don't even tell me.
He has my number.

388
00:20:44.201 --> 00:20:46.119
He can use it.
After what I've done.

389
00:20:46.120 --> 00:20:48.288
You don't even know
what I've put aside.

390
00:20:48.289 --> 00:20:51.541
Because that's what you do.
You put it all aside.

391
00:20:51.542 --> 00:20:55.044
You put it all aside,
despite how you feel.

392
00:20:55.045 --> 00:20:58.715
When someone is hurting,
someone you're supposed to love,

393
00:20:58.716 --> 00:21:01.593
you put it aside,
you ungrateful,

394
00:21:01.594 --> 00:21:03.053
selfish dickhead!

395
00:21:08.559 --> 00:21:10.436
I'm sorry. That wasn't, um...

396
00:21:11.896 --> 00:21:12.897
And...

397
00:21:15.566 --> 00:21:17.234
I'm sorry about the, um...

398
00:21:18.736 --> 00:21:21.404
Henry dealt with the plants.

399
00:21:21.405 --> 00:21:23.448
He-- They were his thing.

400
00:21:23.449 --> 00:21:26.660
He-- he loved them,
and I, um...

401
00:21:34.919 --> 00:21:39.088
Diane, um, I know this
is all very overwhelming,

402
00:21:39.089 --> 00:21:40.925
and I certainly don't want
to add to that.

403
00:21:41.967 --> 00:21:43.511
But I am happy to be here.

404
00:21:44.762 --> 00:21:48.473
If only to focus
all of my assistance

405
00:21:48.474 --> 00:21:51.018
on saving that succulent.

406
00:21:53.979 --> 00:21:55.356
- Hm.
- My God.

407
00:21:58.025 --> 00:21:59.485
Well, we, um...

408
00:22:00.820 --> 00:22:02.779
we turned the spare
into an art studio,

409
00:22:02.780 --> 00:22:04.322
so you'll have
to sleep out here.

410
00:22:04.323 --> 00:22:05.782
Sure.

411
00:22:05.783 --> 00:22:06.784
Okay.

412
00:22:09.036 --> 00:22:10.537
Oh.

413
00:22:10.538 --> 00:22:12.956
- It is a bed.
- Oh, yeah, no, it's--

414
00:22:12.957 --> 00:22:14.707
- Or there's the couch.
- Yeah. Oh, maybe the couch.

415
00:22:14.708 --> 00:22:16.125
That is where he died,
though, so...

416
00:22:16.126 --> 00:22:17.460
- Wow, okay.
- ...it's up to you.

417
00:22:17.461 --> 00:22:18.545
- No, that's--
- I'll get sheets.

418
00:22:18.546 --> 00:22:19.671
Thanks.

419
00:22:23.133 --> 00:22:26.302
There's no reason to be worried,
is there, for his safety?

420
00:22:26.303 --> 00:22:28.596
No, no, he wouldn't
put himself in danger.

421
00:22:28.597 --> 00:22:30.975
I probably
should have asked that first.

422
00:23:00.004 --> 00:23:01.337
Thank you for making dinner.

423
00:23:01.338 --> 00:23:02.922
Oh, I didn't make.
I heated.

424
00:23:02.923 --> 00:23:04.382
It's amazing what dishes

425
00:23:04.383 --> 00:23:05.884
people are inclined
to bring over.

426
00:23:05.885 --> 00:23:08.386
According to my fridge,
you'd think I only eat

427
00:23:08.387 --> 00:23:11.264
casseroles and enchiladas.

428
00:23:12.933 --> 00:23:15.393
Well, people just like
to bring comfort food.

429
00:23:15.394 --> 00:23:17.770
Yeah, well, I've been
comforted by a salad.

430
00:23:20.107 --> 00:23:22.191
Was that genuine?

431
00:23:22.192 --> 00:23:24.861
Yes. I thought it was funny.

432
00:23:24.862 --> 00:23:27.114
Oh, just checking.
You chuckle a lot.

433
00:23:28.198 --> 00:23:30.450
But I might have to challenge
the validity

434
00:23:30.451 --> 00:23:32.452
of a comforting salad.

435
00:23:32.453 --> 00:23:35.122
Oh, I forgot to give this
to you, from Tyler.

436
00:23:37.708 --> 00:23:41.295
Yes, it's my handwriting,
but his words, dictated.

437
00:23:42.421 --> 00:23:44.631
He is good about sending cards.

438
00:23:44.632 --> 00:23:47.593
Interestingly enough,
going on about four years now.

439
00:23:53.974 --> 00:23:56.142
How'd it go with Tyler?

440
00:23:56.143 --> 00:23:59.145
Were you able to reassure him?

441
00:23:59.146 --> 00:24:01.064
Oh, yes, yeah.
But I'll hear from him again,

442
00:24:01.065 --> 00:24:03.566
and then I'll have
to reassure him all over again.

443
00:24:03.567 --> 00:24:06.403
That's the cycle.
Welcome to my world.

444
00:24:08.113 --> 00:24:10.406
Hmm. Tyler was always anxious.

445
00:24:10.407 --> 00:24:12.659
That world has not changed.

446
00:24:12.660 --> 00:24:14.702
I remember once picking him up
from kindergarten.

447
00:24:14.703 --> 00:24:18.414
He was--
He was in tears, inconsolable.

448
00:24:18.415 --> 00:24:20.166
My mind thought the worst,
you know,

449
00:24:20.167 --> 00:24:22.919
he'd been hit or bullied.

450
00:24:22.920 --> 00:24:25.213
It turns out he was just--
he was just upset

451
00:24:25.214 --> 00:24:27.632
because he was terrible
at cutting with scissors.

452
00:24:31.637 --> 00:24:34.139
Of course,
I stifled my laugh on that day.

453
00:24:35.432 --> 00:24:39.103
I validated his feelings.
My son was seen and heard.

454
00:24:40.270 --> 00:24:42.438
Plus, as I would come to learn,

455
00:24:42.439 --> 00:24:44.232
his teachers
were genuinely concerned

456
00:24:44.233 --> 00:24:45.775
about his inability to cut.

457
00:24:45.776 --> 00:24:48.611
So, fuck me, I guess.
Fuck me for not knowing

458
00:24:48.612 --> 00:24:50.488
it was some kind
of developmental thing.

459
00:24:50.489 --> 00:24:52.490
Hands being able to do
different tasks

460
00:24:52.491 --> 00:24:54.117
at the same time
or something, I don't know.

461
00:24:54.118 --> 00:24:56.119
Anyway, Tyler was distraught

462
00:24:56.120 --> 00:24:58.162
because all the other kids
could do it and he couldn't.

463
00:24:58.163 --> 00:25:00.331
So, I spent that weekend
with him,

464
00:25:00.332 --> 00:25:01.874
just sitting on the floor,

465
00:25:01.875 --> 00:25:03.876
cutting up
all my good magazines.

466
00:25:07.339 --> 00:25:09.007
Is he good at cutting
with scissors now?

467
00:25:09.008 --> 00:25:11.301
You know, I can't say
I've ever seen him do it.

468
00:25:11.969 --> 00:25:14.470
Maybe text him
at some point, find out.

469
00:25:14.471 --> 00:25:16.014
Be nice to know
I made a difference,

470
00:25:16.015 --> 00:25:18.976
and that my magazines
did not die in vain.

471
00:25:20.227 --> 00:25:23.647
You know, Diane,
you could text him yourself.

472
00:25:29.820 --> 00:25:31.362
And if it gives you any solace,

473
00:25:31.363 --> 00:25:33.197
I happen to know
you did make a difference,

474
00:25:33.198 --> 00:25:35.491
because Tyler told me
what it was like

475
00:25:35.492 --> 00:25:38.578
for him coming out to you,
and he said you were amazing.

476
00:25:38.579 --> 00:25:40.121
Are you allowed
to tell me that?

477
00:25:40.122 --> 00:25:43.584
I think I can lift
the cone on this one.

478
00:25:45.169 --> 00:25:49.297
He said when he finally got up
the nerve to come out to you,

479
00:25:49.298 --> 00:25:51.800
he felt like you were
already there waiting.

480
00:25:52.885 --> 00:25:56.597
"Waiting to give him love."
Those were his exact words.

481
00:25:57.389 --> 00:25:59.390
Well, I was there.

482
00:25:59.391 --> 00:26:02.018
And I was there all the times
he almost came out.

483
00:26:02.019 --> 00:26:04.228
I always knew he was gay

484
00:26:04.229 --> 00:26:05.605
from an early age.

485
00:26:05.606 --> 00:26:07.231
And for so many years,
there were these moments

486
00:26:07.232 --> 00:26:09.400
where he'd come into a room
where I was,

487
00:26:09.401 --> 00:26:13.404
not even the room,
just into the doorway.

488
00:26:13.405 --> 00:26:15.282
And I'd see it
right there on his face.

489
00:26:16.283 --> 00:26:18.868
And I'd think to myself
every time,

490
00:26:18.869 --> 00:26:21.287
"This is it, Diane, he's gonna
come out, don't screw it up."

491
00:26:23.415 --> 00:26:25.083
And believe me,
it took everything in my power

492
00:26:25.084 --> 00:26:26.919
not to want
to yank him out myself.

493
00:26:28.545 --> 00:26:29.546
I just...

494
00:26:30.923 --> 00:26:32.924
I just wanted him
to get to the other side of it.

495
00:26:32.925 --> 00:26:34.927
I knew it would be better there.

496
00:26:36.053 --> 00:26:38.387
I knew it was up to him,
of course.

497
00:26:38.388 --> 00:26:40.932
So, I just stayed still, calm,

498
00:26:40.933 --> 00:26:46.270
and we'd stare at each other
for what felt like forever...

499
00:26:46.271 --> 00:26:49.817
waiting on the same thing,
waiting for him to step through.

500
00:26:50.943 --> 00:26:52.985
And eventually,
all those times I'd--

501
00:26:52.986 --> 00:26:57.116
I'd I just have to watch him
push it all down and walk away.

502
00:26:58.283 --> 00:27:02.578
So, when the day came,
<i>the</i> day...

503
00:27:02.579 --> 00:27:05.123
Oh, Tyler was 23,
home for Christmas,

504
00:27:05.124 --> 00:27:06.916
and I was in
the kitchen, cooking.

505
00:27:06.917 --> 00:27:09.794
And he came in like he'd done
so many times before,

506
00:27:09.795 --> 00:27:12.172
right into the doorway,
no further.

507
00:27:15.300 --> 00:27:17.760
And the look was the same.

508
00:27:17.761 --> 00:27:21.264
The fear was there, the pain,
all of it the same.

509
00:27:21.265 --> 00:27:22.808
But in that moment, I just...

510
00:27:23.851 --> 00:27:25.435
I knew I couldn't stay still.

511
00:27:26.478 --> 00:27:28.272
I knew I couldn't yank, but...

512
00:27:29.523 --> 00:27:32.358
I needed to make this
the right time for my son.

513
00:27:32.359 --> 00:27:36.321
So, I just looked at him
and I said...

514
00:27:38.031 --> 00:27:39.116
"I love you."

515
00:27:40.325 --> 00:27:41.951
I mean, I'd said it
so many times before,

516
00:27:41.952 --> 00:27:43.787
but I guess
never like that, like...

517
00:27:44.830 --> 00:27:47.291
like reassurance.

518
00:27:48.375 --> 00:27:49.960
As if maybe he'd forgotten.

519
00:27:51.879 --> 00:27:55.174
And with that,
Tyler just exhaled.

520
00:27:56.216 --> 00:27:58.676
And I watched it
all fall away.

521
00:27:58.677 --> 00:28:02.389
And I watched my son
step into the room.

522
00:28:06.310 --> 00:28:07.810
- Wow.
- Mm.

523
00:28:07.811 --> 00:28:10.355
- Hm.
- And then,
we made dinner together.

524
00:28:11.315 --> 00:28:12.316
In fact...

525
00:28:13.317 --> 00:28:14.650
we made a comforting salad.

526
00:28:17.196 --> 00:28:18.738
Well, no offense to scissors,

527
00:28:18.739 --> 00:28:22.534
but I think that is a--
a bigger difference.

528
00:28:25.370 --> 00:28:28.497
Tyler is very lucky
to have you as a mom.

529
00:28:28.498 --> 00:28:29.541
Mm.

530
00:28:30.500 --> 00:28:31.668
And what about you?

531
00:28:32.669 --> 00:28:34.379
Were you lucky
with your parents?

532
00:28:35.380 --> 00:28:37.006
Um...

533
00:28:37.007 --> 00:28:38.549
- You-- you don't have to say.
- No, no, no. No.

534
00:28:38.550 --> 00:28:40.843
I-- I'd like to think
I would have been, yeah.

535
00:28:40.844 --> 00:28:44.223
But um, I lost both my parents
before I, uh...

536
00:28:46.016 --> 00:28:48.184
I came out later
than I should ha--
I mean, not should have.

537
00:28:48.185 --> 00:28:49.894
I came out when I was ready
and I wasn't ready

538
00:28:49.895 --> 00:28:52.772
until I was 35, and...

539
00:28:52.773 --> 00:28:55.358
they both passed away
within a year of each other.

540
00:28:55.359 --> 00:28:58.527
It was, um, cancer came
for both of them.

541
00:28:58.528 --> 00:29:00.697
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you. Thank you.

542
00:29:01.615 --> 00:29:03.407
- Do you have any siblings?
- No.

543
00:29:03.408 --> 00:29:05.952
Uh, I'm an only child,
as was my dad.

544
00:29:05.953 --> 00:29:08.454
And my mom
didn't talk to her sister,

545
00:29:08.455 --> 00:29:11.124
and I hear she's gone now, too.
So, no, it's just me.

546
00:29:12.626 --> 00:29:14.460
That must have been difficult.

547
00:29:14.461 --> 00:29:16.255
Caring for both of them
on your own?

548
00:29:20.259 --> 00:29:21.425
Yeah.

549
00:29:21.426 --> 00:29:23.053
Yeah, it was. But, um...

550
00:29:24.263 --> 00:29:25.555
But, you know, I mean...

551
00:29:26.723 --> 00:29:28.975
we weren't really given
a choice in the matter.

552
00:29:28.976 --> 00:29:31.270
We just had to get
good at it fast, right?

553
00:29:33.563 --> 00:29:34.898
- Yes, we did.
- Hmm.

554
00:29:38.402 --> 00:29:41.404
If you don't mind... me asking,

555
00:29:41.405 --> 00:29:43.406
do you know
why you did wait?

556
00:29:43.407 --> 00:29:46.076
Why you weren't ready
until you were?

557
00:29:49.746 --> 00:29:50.998
I imagine I do.

558
00:29:52.249 --> 00:29:53.250
Yeah.

559
00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:56.336
Uh...

560
00:30:01.758 --> 00:30:03.676
Not that I can't drink alone,

561
00:30:03.677 --> 00:30:06.305
but can I, uh, get you a glass?

562
00:30:09.599 --> 00:30:10.600
Yeah.

563
00:30:12.019 --> 00:30:13.644
Thank you.

564
00:31:00.025 --> 00:31:02.486
Oh. What did she do here?

565
00:31:03.487 --> 00:31:05.488
- Good morning.
- Oh, good morning.

566
00:31:05.489 --> 00:31:08.074
Well, I'm afraid
it was overwatered,

567
00:31:08.075 --> 00:31:09.742
so I'm just gonna
let the leaves

568
00:31:09.743 --> 00:31:11.869
and the roots dry out
a little bit.

569
00:31:11.870 --> 00:31:13.412
It's worth a shot.

570
00:31:13.413 --> 00:31:15.581
Oh, and I, um,
I emptied your dishwasher,

571
00:31:15.582 --> 00:31:18.250
but I wasn't sure
where those platters went.

572
00:31:18.251 --> 00:31:20.336
And I made some coffee.

573
00:31:20.337 --> 00:31:22.546
What happened to just
focusing on the succulent?

574
00:31:22.547 --> 00:31:23.881
I'm sorry,
I couldn't help myself.

575
00:31:23.882 --> 00:31:25.549
I kinda get off on this stuff,

576
00:31:25.550 --> 00:31:27.719
and I instantly regret
saying "get off."

577
00:31:29.262 --> 00:31:32.056
And did you "get off"
on feeding the cat, too?

578
00:31:32.057 --> 00:31:34.558
Uh, yes.
Again, sorry, I just--

579
00:31:34.559 --> 00:31:36.394
I noticed the bowl was empty.

580
00:31:36.395 --> 00:31:37.770
Well, that one's
all for naught.

581
00:31:37.771 --> 00:31:39.856
The cat was carried off
by an owl, so...

582
00:31:42.192 --> 00:31:44.777
- Wait, what?
- Yeah, he was sunning
out on the patio.

583
00:31:44.778 --> 00:31:48.155
An owl swooped down,
and off they went.

584
00:31:48.156 --> 00:31:50.283
All that was left
was a piece of his tail.

585
00:31:51.284 --> 00:31:53.036
- That's a thing?
- All the time.

586
00:31:53.745 --> 00:31:57.540
Henry insisted we leave
the bowl out because,

587
00:31:57.541 --> 00:31:59.375
I don't know,
maybe he thought the owl

588
00:31:59.376 --> 00:32:01.710
would circle back
and drop the cat off?

589
00:32:04.047 --> 00:32:05.798
I'm sorry, that's horrible.

590
00:32:05.799 --> 00:32:07.592
The act of it, yes, but...

591
00:32:09.177 --> 00:32:11.263
Barnaby only really
loved Henry, so...

592
00:32:13.223 --> 00:32:14.974
I'm thinking
this is a good thing.

593
00:32:14.975 --> 00:32:16.393
They're together again.

594
00:32:25.444 --> 00:32:27.487
That goes down there,
and that in the corner.

595
00:32:28.613 --> 00:32:29.614
Yes.

596
00:32:35.579 --> 00:32:36.955
Any word from Tyler?

597
00:32:38.582 --> 00:32:40.624
Yeah, um, yeah, sorry.

598
00:32:40.625 --> 00:32:44.087
It's-- It's-- It's not safe, unfortunately.

599
00:32:45.088 --> 00:32:47.257
And I'm sorry,
I should have mentioned.

600
00:32:54.931 --> 00:32:56.682
Diane!

601
00:32:56.683 --> 00:32:58.434
-  Oh, shit.
- Diane!

602
00:32:58.435 --> 00:32:59.936
Oh.

603
00:33:00.937 --> 00:33:03.481
- Diane.
- Oh. Hi, Judith.

604
00:33:03.482 --> 00:33:04.982
- Hi.
- Love the turquoise.

605
00:33:04.983 --> 00:33:06.692
Oh, thanks. Can't get enough.

606
00:33:06.693 --> 00:33:08.903
- Seems like it.
- Yes.

607
00:33:08.904 --> 00:33:10.279
This is Judith,
my next door neighbor.

608
00:33:10.280 --> 00:33:12.114
And this is Jamie.

609
00:33:12.115 --> 00:33:13.782
A gift from my son.

610
00:33:13.783 --> 00:33:15.451
Oh!

611
00:33:15.452 --> 00:33:17.536
That's very sweet.
Nice to meet you.

612
00:33:17.537 --> 00:33:18.788
Nice to meet you.

613
00:33:20.123 --> 00:33:21.499
And how are you?

614
00:33:21.500 --> 00:33:23.709
I'm doing okay, thank you.

615
00:33:23.710 --> 00:33:26.296
Well, I hate to pile on
more troubling news.

616
00:33:27.380 --> 00:33:29.006
Yeah. My Chipper is missing.

617
00:33:29.007 --> 00:33:30.883
Oh, no, that is more troubling.

618
00:33:30.884 --> 00:33:32.968
Yes, it's my chihuahua.

619
00:33:32.969 --> 00:33:34.136
- Oh.
- Mix.

620
00:33:34.137 --> 00:33:36.555
I mean, purebred, uh, mix.

621
00:33:36.556 --> 00:33:37.973
Wow.

622
00:33:37.974 --> 00:33:40.142
Trying to stay positive.

623
00:33:40.143 --> 00:33:43.020
You know, gotta keep
hope alive.

624
00:33:43.021 --> 00:33:44.314
You know.

625
00:33:46.149 --> 00:33:48.984
- I do know.
- Well, if either of you see him,

626
00:33:48.985 --> 00:33:50.653
just give me a call.

627
00:33:50.654 --> 00:33:52.363
- Sure. Oh.
- And if I don't answer,

628
00:33:52.364 --> 00:33:54.865
of course I'll call right back,
but I'll probably answer.

629
00:33:54.866 --> 00:33:56.659
- Oh.
- And all prayers welcome.

630
00:33:56.660 --> 00:33:58.160
- Sure.
- Thank you so much.

631
00:33:58.161 --> 00:34:00.329
- God bless.
-  Bye-bye.

632
00:34:00.330 --> 00:34:03.332
Ooh, Marci! Hello, girl!

633
00:34:03.333 --> 00:34:04.833
Hold up.

634
00:34:04.834 --> 00:34:07.211
Diane, I think her dog--

635
00:34:07.212 --> 00:34:09.714
Yeah, a hawk.
I saw it happen from the window.

636
00:34:11.967 --> 00:34:14.176
- Should we tell her?
- You heard her.

637
00:34:14.177 --> 00:34:15.679
She needs to keep hope alive.

638
00:34:16.680 --> 00:34:18.681
-  Oh, thank you.
-  Of course.

639
00:34:18.682 --> 00:34:23.018
I'm beginning to understand this
whole green chile obsession.

640
00:34:23.019 --> 00:34:24.688
It's basically a cult.

641
00:34:26.731 --> 00:34:28.358
Henry couldn't get enough, either.

642
00:34:30.527 --> 00:34:34.530
Oh, do you want to start a--
a list of things we need to do?

643
00:34:34.531 --> 00:34:37.408
I have one. Henry made it.

644
00:34:37.409 --> 00:34:39.285
- Oh.
- He found it
to be one of the perks

645
00:34:39.286 --> 00:34:40.704
of knowing his "end date."

646
00:34:41.705 --> 00:34:42.871
His words.

647
00:34:42.872 --> 00:34:44.040
I haven't opened it.

648
00:34:45.542 --> 00:34:48.335
Are you sure you want me to?
I mean, it might be a note.

649
00:34:48.336 --> 00:34:51.423
I was by his side in the end,
we said everything.

650
00:34:52.716 --> 00:34:53.717
Okay.

651
00:34:56.636 --> 00:34:57.637
Alrighty.

652
00:35:00.473 --> 00:35:02.225
Yep. See, just a list.

653
00:35:04.728 --> 00:35:07.730
"Henry's Exit Strategy.

654
00:35:07.731 --> 00:35:09.773
"Number one,
I want a fully stocked bar

655
00:35:09.774 --> 00:35:11.609
"at the reception,
but no champagne.

656
00:35:11.610 --> 00:35:13.987
"I hate it, so no one
toast me with it.

657
00:35:15.238 --> 00:35:17.323
"Number two,
music at the service.

658
00:35:17.324 --> 00:35:19.408
"You know me, Diane.
I don't do subtle.

659
00:35:19.409 --> 00:35:21.285
"So, Beach Boys'
'God Only Knows'

660
00:35:21.286 --> 00:35:23.454
"as the guests arrive.
And as they leave,

661
00:35:23.455 --> 00:35:26.666
Barry White's 'You're the First,
the Last, My Everything.'"

662
00:35:27.751 --> 00:35:31.253
Well, that's not gonna
fly with his church.

663
00:35:31.254 --> 00:35:33.339
Well, his church
hasn't met me yet.

664
00:35:33.340 --> 00:35:34.758
And you haven't met his church.

665
00:35:35.925 --> 00:35:37.926
- Well, then they'll
do it for you.
- No.

666
00:35:37.927 --> 00:35:40.846
They don't know me.
They know of me.

667
00:35:40.847 --> 00:35:43.307
I'd drop Henry off
and pick him up.

668
00:35:43.308 --> 00:35:45.602
Henry made friends here,
I made acquaintances.

669
00:35:46.478 --> 00:35:48.812
Well, then they'll do it
for Henry.

670
00:35:48.813 --> 00:35:49.814
What else?

671
00:35:51.524 --> 00:35:54.818
Uh, "Number three, flowers.
I leave that up to you, Diane.

672
00:35:54.819 --> 00:35:57.697
"Fill the church with whatever
makes you feel New York.

673
00:35:59.282 --> 00:36:00.367
"One stipulation.

674
00:36:02.410 --> 00:36:05.204
You must purchase the flowers
from Doris Kato's cousin."

675
00:36:05.205 --> 00:36:06.664
Are you fucking kidding me?

676
00:36:06.665 --> 00:36:08.123
"Her name is Kathy,
by the way.

677
00:36:08.124 --> 00:36:09.500
I know you weren't listening."

678
00:36:09.501 --> 00:36:10.710
My God.

679
00:36:11.795 --> 00:36:13.045
- "Number four."
- What?

680
00:36:13.046 --> 00:36:15.173
Invite Kathy to the service?

681
00:36:17.509 --> 00:36:18.968
"Finish my painting."

682
00:36:24.015 --> 00:36:26.517
Well, that's not happening.
I can't paint.

683
00:36:26.518 --> 00:36:29.061
"It doesn't matter
that you can't paint, Diane.

684
00:36:29.062 --> 00:36:30.689
"Painting brought us together.

685
00:36:31.648 --> 00:36:33.692
I want you to finish
what I couldn't."

686
00:36:34.734 --> 00:36:36.568
Well...

687
00:36:36.569 --> 00:36:38.488
It is finished.
That's how I want it.

688
00:36:40.699 --> 00:36:42.324
Well, it might be cool
to have some--

689
00:36:42.325 --> 00:36:44.160
Are there any other numbers,
or is that it?

690
00:36:52.210 --> 00:36:54.878
Can you be done?
We've got a lot to do.

691
00:36:54.879 --> 00:36:57.381
Yeah, I-- yeah, I can be done.

692
00:36:57.382 --> 00:36:58.383
Hello?

693
00:37:00.051 --> 00:37:03.178
I just want to reiterate, again,
how very honored I am

694
00:37:03.179 --> 00:37:04.847
to be entrusted
with these arrangements.

695
00:37:04.848 --> 00:37:06.515
Well, that's the hope.
But I should warn you,

696
00:37:06.516 --> 00:37:08.267
my husband was very specific.

697
00:37:08.268 --> 00:37:10.436
He wants to feel New York,
so I'm not sure if you even--

698
00:37:10.437 --> 00:37:12.271
Of course. Spring? Summer?

699
00:37:12.272 --> 00:37:15.190
- What was his favorite season?
- Spring. But specifically,

700
00:37:15.191 --> 00:37:17.192
- it should include tulips.
- We should start with my tulips.

701
00:37:17.193 --> 00:37:18.694
And I'm gonna want
a wide variety of colors--

702
00:37:18.695 --> 00:37:19.778
You won't believe
all the colors.

703
00:37:19.779 --> 00:37:21.280
Well, it's one thing to say it.

704
00:37:21.281 --> 00:37:23.532
But you need to see them.
Of course.

705
00:37:28.413 --> 00:37:29.788
Your signature, please.

706
00:37:29.789 --> 00:37:31.875
And just the deposit
is due today.

707
00:37:32.709 --> 00:37:34.585
Um, Kathy,
the succulent,

708
00:37:34.586 --> 00:37:36.879
the one that Henry
and Diane bought here,

709
00:37:36.880 --> 00:37:38.422
um, it's not doing well.

710
00:37:38.423 --> 00:37:40.299
- Oh, no.
-  I know.

711
00:37:40.300 --> 00:37:42.469
I know, and I'm wondering
if maybe it wasn't in the...

712
00:37:43.595 --> 00:37:46.263
healthiest of conditions
when they got it?

713
00:37:46.264 --> 00:37:49.141
'Cause it doesn't seem like
they did anything wrong.

714
00:37:49.142 --> 00:37:51.477
And it's likely Diane
will be able to save it,

715
00:37:51.478 --> 00:37:54.396
- but it's just, you know,
it's a little disappointing.
-  Of course.

716
00:37:54.397 --> 00:37:56.273
- I-- I'm so sorry.
-  No, no, no.

717
00:37:56.274 --> 00:37:58.776
I only mention it
because of Henry.

718
00:37:58.777 --> 00:38:00.652
Because he just--
he loved plants,

719
00:38:00.653 --> 00:38:03.406
and they were very much
a passion of his.

720
00:38:04.449 --> 00:38:06.617
And your cousin
recommended you.

721
00:38:06.618 --> 00:38:08.160
No. Say no more.

722
00:38:08.161 --> 00:38:09.912
Please, let me try
and make it right.

723
00:38:09.913 --> 00:38:11.079
30% off.

724
00:38:11.080 --> 00:38:13.415
What? No. Oh, Kathy.

725
00:38:13.416 --> 00:38:15.001
- No, I insist.
- Thank you. Well, thank you.

726
00:38:17.629 --> 00:38:19.588
Take your victory lap quickly.

727
00:38:19.589 --> 00:38:21.423
Can you believe
this cold weather?

728
00:38:21.424 --> 00:38:24.092
I mean, I've been here a while,
but when you hear "desert,"

729
00:38:24.093 --> 00:38:25.511
- you think...
-  It's gotta be hot!

730
00:38:25.512 --> 00:38:26.596
- No.
- I know.

731
00:38:29.849 --> 00:38:31.809
So, maybe in a day or so,
we'll just give it

732
00:38:31.810 --> 00:38:33.436
a little misting.

733
00:38:35.313 --> 00:38:37.356
Are you picking out
some photos to display?

734
00:38:37.357 --> 00:38:39.942
Yes, I do have some ideas
for my husband's funeral.

735
00:38:41.945 --> 00:38:43.487
Oh, wow.

736
00:38:43.488 --> 00:38:44.489
Tyler.

737
00:38:46.115 --> 00:38:47.366
Yep.

738
00:38:47.367 --> 00:38:48.785
Always adorable.

739
00:38:57.627 --> 00:38:59.002
Aw.

740
00:38:59.003 --> 00:39:01.839
Tyler has this one
framed in his house.

741
00:39:01.840 --> 00:39:03.841
Mm.

742
00:39:03.842 --> 00:39:05.342
Has he told you
a lot about his dad?

743
00:39:05.343 --> 00:39:06.636
Oh, yeah.

744
00:39:08.471 --> 00:39:09.972
I mean, mentioned, really.

745
00:39:09.973 --> 00:39:11.307
I mean, just like pieces, not...

746
00:39:12.475 --> 00:39:15.394
Well, I'll have to give you
more photos of them

747
00:39:15.395 --> 00:39:16.729
to take back to LA.

748
00:39:18.314 --> 00:39:19.691
For sure.

749
00:39:21.234 --> 00:39:22.818
Who's this kid?

750
00:39:22.819 --> 00:39:25.237
There's a lot of pictures
of them together.

751
00:39:25.238 --> 00:39:27.406
Is he a-- Is he a cousin?

752
00:39:27.407 --> 00:39:29.491
No, that's Bobby,
his first boyfriend.

753
00:39:34.747 --> 00:39:36.164
What?

754
00:39:36.165 --> 00:39:37.166
No!

755
00:39:38.167 --> 00:39:39.419
They're like, what, 11?

756
00:39:40.336 --> 00:39:41.837
Ten.

757
00:39:41.838 --> 00:39:43.213
They didn't say
they were boyfriends,

758
00:39:43.214 --> 00:39:44.673
but I knew.

759
00:39:44.674 --> 00:39:46.842
I actually caught them once.
They didn't see me,

760
00:39:46.843 --> 00:39:48.760
but yeah,
I caught them exploring.

761
00:39:48.761 --> 00:39:50.263
Nothing scandalous.

762
00:39:52.015 --> 00:39:54.016
- That had to be rough.
- Why?

763
00:39:54.017 --> 00:39:55.851
I told you,
I always knew he was gay.

764
00:39:55.852 --> 00:39:57.895
Well, it's one thing to know,
it's another thing to see them--

765
00:39:57.896 --> 00:39:59.521
I mean, what did you even say?

766
00:39:59.522 --> 00:40:02.232
I said nothing, to this day.

767
00:40:02.233 --> 00:40:04.526
I never wanted him to feel
that anything was wrong

768
00:40:04.527 --> 00:40:06.863
with what they were doing
or what they might be feeling.

769
00:40:10.283 --> 00:40:11.784
Wow, that's, um...

770
00:40:13.953 --> 00:40:15.038
Okay.

771
00:40:15.788 --> 00:40:18.707
So, uh, are Tyler
and Bobby still in touch?

772
00:40:18.708 --> 00:40:20.709
- I imagine so. Why?
- I don't know.

773
00:40:20.710 --> 00:40:23.046
You know, he was cute.
At least then.

774
00:40:23.755 --> 00:40:27.299
He's hot now.
Big-time interior designer.

775
00:40:27.300 --> 00:40:29.301
Great taste.

776
00:40:29.302 --> 00:40:31.386
He actually lives in LA, too.

777
00:40:31.387 --> 00:40:33.764
I'm surprised
you've never met him.

778
00:40:33.765 --> 00:40:36.224
I mean, you know,
Tyler doesn't include me

779
00:40:36.225 --> 00:40:37.267
in all of his circles,

780
00:40:37.268 --> 00:40:39.645
and he does not want
for friends.

781
00:40:39.646 --> 00:40:42.940
I imagine he does not want for
more than just friends, either.

782
00:40:42.941 --> 00:40:44.942
Not if he's still like he was
when he came out.

783
00:40:44.943 --> 00:40:46.735
Maybe even before he came out.

784
00:40:46.736 --> 00:40:48.570
I don't know, I just know
there was a revolving door

785
00:40:48.571 --> 00:40:50.072
of men who fell for Tyler.

786
00:40:52.450 --> 00:40:55.745
Well, maybe one day Tyler
will introduce you to Bobby.

787
00:40:57.455 --> 00:40:58.997
Yeah.
If he does, he does.

788
00:40:58.998 --> 00:40:59.999
Mm.

789
00:41:02.710 --> 00:41:05.088
So, have you ever gone
through the revolving door?

790
00:41:06.255 --> 00:41:07.589
What?

791
00:41:07.590 --> 00:41:09.425
Tyler's revolving door.

792
00:41:10.510 --> 00:41:13.804
- No, we're just friends.
- Not even for a night?

793
00:41:13.805 --> 00:41:17.099
The night you two met,
when you "offered yourself up"?

794
00:41:17.100 --> 00:41:19.769
That's not...
I went home alone.

795
00:41:20.812 --> 00:41:22.854
No, Tyler and I agreed
from early on

796
00:41:22.855 --> 00:41:26.650
that our relationship
was different, what with work.

797
00:41:26.651 --> 00:41:28.987
Oh, so there was
talk of it, though?

798
00:41:30.029 --> 00:41:32.239
- Oh, inevitably.
- Inevitably?

799
00:41:32.240 --> 00:41:34.282
Inevitably. You know, you spend
a lot of time with someone,

800
00:41:34.283 --> 00:41:36.326
you get to know them,
you start to care for them.

801
00:41:36.327 --> 00:41:38.829
Yeah, you can inevitably
start to wonder.

802
00:41:38.830 --> 00:41:41.164
- And you did?
- Well, we both did.

803
00:41:41.165 --> 00:41:43.625
We both wondered,
but we agreed,

804
00:41:43.626 --> 00:41:45.460
uh, we decided on friendship.

805
00:41:45.461 --> 00:41:46.921
- Who decided?
- We both did.

806
00:41:47.964 --> 00:41:49.965
- Quit trying
to cut him out of this.
- No, I-- I...

807
00:41:49.966 --> 00:41:51.466
I just-- I know Tyler

808
00:41:51.467 --> 00:41:53.136
in relationships.
I don't know you.

809
00:41:54.303 --> 00:41:56.388
Well, rest assured,
we went down that road together,

810
00:41:56.389 --> 00:41:58.015
and we got off
that road together.

811
00:41:58.016 --> 00:41:59.641
-  Mm-hmm.
- At a certain point,

812
00:41:59.642 --> 00:42:01.184
I expressed feelings for Tyler,

813
00:42:01.185 --> 00:42:03.562
and Tyler in turn
expressed feelings for me,

814
00:42:03.563 --> 00:42:06.023
but he also admitted
he wasn't there yet

815
00:42:06.024 --> 00:42:08.233
and wasn't ready
for a relationship.

816
00:42:08.234 --> 00:42:10.610
Oh, so you went further down
the road than he did?

817
00:42:10.611 --> 00:42:12.696
- Oh, my God.
- I'm just trying to clarify.

818
00:42:12.697 --> 00:42:14.156
No, you're trying
to interrogate,

819
00:42:14.157 --> 00:42:16.324
and there's nothing
to interrogate.

820
00:42:16.325 --> 00:42:17.492
I know my life, Diane.

821
00:42:17.493 --> 00:42:19.411
I know my life with Tyler.
Trust me.

822
00:42:19.412 --> 00:42:20.495
- Understood.
- Thank you.

823
00:42:20.496 --> 00:42:22.039
We'll just leave it
at that, then.

824
00:42:22.040 --> 00:42:24.291
- Great.
- You expressed your feelings.

825
00:42:24.292 --> 00:42:27.002
Tyler had similar ones,
but he wasn't there yet.

826
00:42:27.003 --> 00:42:30.673
And at a certain point,
you decided to just be friends.

827
00:42:33.009 --> 00:42:34.634
There's a little more
to it than that.

828
00:42:34.635 --> 00:42:37.220
Well, that's all I know.
Maybe we do a charcuterie board.

829
00:42:37.221 --> 00:42:39.014
At a certain point,
Tyler did say

830
00:42:39.015 --> 00:42:40.724
he was open to an "us."

831
00:42:40.725 --> 00:42:42.184
I don't have to be
in the know.

832
00:42:42.185 --> 00:42:43.643
Well, this is just
so you understand.

833
00:42:43.644 --> 00:42:45.187
This was after we decided
on friendship.

834
00:42:45.188 --> 00:42:47.064
It was actually
a good while after.

835
00:42:47.065 --> 00:42:48.398
Okay.

836
00:42:48.399 --> 00:42:50.609
It was on my birthday, actually.

837
00:42:50.610 --> 00:42:53.779
Tyler took me to dinner,
and that's when he said it.

838
00:42:53.780 --> 00:42:56.198
Out of nowhere, he said
he was open to an "us,"

839
00:42:56.199 --> 00:42:58.533
and I was taken aback.

840
00:42:58.534 --> 00:43:00.869
I mean, in a good way.
And I smiled

841
00:43:00.870 --> 00:43:03.830
and said something like,
"I would love that."

842
00:43:03.831 --> 00:43:07.209
And then, we proceeded
to have a very nice dinner.

843
00:43:07.210 --> 00:43:09.419
And then, I went back
to my apartment,

844
00:43:09.420 --> 00:43:14.050
and I woke up to a voicemail
from Tyler the next day...

845
00:43:16.302 --> 00:43:17.804
taking it all back.

846
00:43:20.932 --> 00:43:23.266
Yeah, Tyler said he got home
and he panicked,

847
00:43:23.267 --> 00:43:25.936
and apologized that this
was all happening

848
00:43:25.937 --> 00:43:27.896
on my birthday.

849
00:43:27.897 --> 00:43:30.398
Uh, but yeah,
he was still conflicted.

850
00:43:30.399 --> 00:43:33.653
- About what?
- About the idea of me with him.

851
00:43:34.612 --> 00:43:36.780
We all have types.

852
00:43:36.781 --> 00:43:38.657
It's just the way it is.

853
00:43:38.658 --> 00:43:40.951
And Tyler was worried
that he would ultimately end up

854
00:43:40.952 --> 00:43:43.162
just hurting me
and ruining our friendship.

855
00:43:44.080 --> 00:43:46.081
Needless to say,
I was pissed and I told him

856
00:43:46.082 --> 00:43:48.292
I needed to take
some time alone...

857
00:43:49.502 --> 00:43:50.919
and that I didn't wanna
hear from him,

858
00:43:50.920 --> 00:43:52.671
and he was not
to reach out to me.

859
00:43:52.672 --> 00:43:54.131
And he said he understood.

860
00:43:54.132 --> 00:43:55.924
I mean, he had no choice
but to understand.

861
00:43:55.925 --> 00:43:57.425
And he was also to understand

862
00:43:57.426 --> 00:43:59.094
that if I was to come back,

863
00:43:59.095 --> 00:44:00.971
it would be on my terms.

864
00:44:00.972 --> 00:44:03.181
- And you came back?
- Yeah.

865
00:44:03.182 --> 00:44:06.309
But in the way
that I wanted to-- needed to.

866
00:44:06.310 --> 00:44:08.979
And you're okay with that?
With things between you two

867
00:44:08.980 --> 00:44:10.522
not being the way you want?

868
00:44:10.523 --> 00:44:11.941
Yeah, obviously.
I'm here.

869
00:44:13.192 --> 00:44:15.443
Okay. Just making sure.

870
00:44:15.444 --> 00:44:17.446
I know it's not easy
to let go of my son.

871
00:44:36.549 --> 00:44:38.049
- You got it?
- Yep.

872
00:44:38.050 --> 00:44:39.051
Alright.

873
00:44:47.393 --> 00:44:49.060
- Did you move the painting?
- I did.

874
00:44:49.061 --> 00:44:50.562
I thought maybe you would
want it out of the way.

875
00:44:50.563 --> 00:44:52.147
No, I need it where it was.
Put it back.

876
00:44:52.148 --> 00:44:53.149
Please.

877
00:44:54.483 --> 00:44:56.694
- Of course. I'm sorry.
- It's alright.

878
00:45:03.826 --> 00:45:07.371
How do you feel about me
boxing some of that up?

879
00:45:08.915 --> 00:45:12.083
I could look into some
take-back programs.

880
00:45:12.084 --> 00:45:13.960
That's what I did
with my parents' medication.

881
00:45:13.961 --> 00:45:16.379
It's just a place
to properly dispose of it.

882
00:45:16.380 --> 00:45:17.381
Fine.

883
00:45:19.383 --> 00:45:21.384
Wow, that's a great picture
of Henry.

884
00:45:21.385 --> 00:45:23.720
Is it-- is that your place
in New York?

885
00:45:23.721 --> 00:45:25.680
Loft in Chelsea.

886
00:45:25.681 --> 00:45:27.724
-  So, these are all
of your choices?
-  Mm-hmm.

887
00:45:27.725 --> 00:45:29.392
Okay.

888
00:45:29.393 --> 00:45:31.603
- What?
- Nothing.

889
00:45:31.604 --> 00:45:35.190
No, go ahead.
"Get off" on your opinion.

890
00:45:35.191 --> 00:45:36.942
It just seems like it's
a lot of Henry

891
00:45:36.943 --> 00:45:38.610
from your time back east.

892
00:45:38.611 --> 00:45:42.614
- Where we spent 26 years.
- Well, and here for over three,

893
00:45:42.615 --> 00:45:44.407
and a lot of the people
who are gonna be attending--

894
00:45:44.408 --> 00:45:47.494
This is not about them.
This is about Henry.

895
00:45:47.495 --> 00:45:50.122
And New York was
our happy place, not just mine.

896
00:45:54.252 --> 00:45:56.087
- Diane, it's okay to embrace--
- This is Henry!

897
00:46:02.885 --> 00:46:03.886
Yes.

898
00:46:11.727 --> 00:46:13.395
With my parents,

899
00:46:13.396 --> 00:46:17.357
I remember I just--
I had the hardest time

900
00:46:17.358 --> 00:46:19.609
picking out pictures of them
to display.

901
00:46:19.610 --> 00:46:22.780
And I'm just speaking
for myself here.

902
00:46:24.907 --> 00:46:27.659
You know, I just wanted
to see them at their best.

903
00:46:27.660 --> 00:46:30.495
And then, I would look at these
pictures that I had taken later

904
00:46:30.496 --> 00:46:32.580
when their bodies had been--

905
00:46:32.581 --> 00:46:35.500
When I knew
what was happening in there.

906
00:46:35.501 --> 00:46:37.085
And these--
and these pictures were just--

907
00:46:37.086 --> 00:46:39.004
It was little stuff,
candid things, you know.

908
00:46:39.005 --> 00:46:41.966
It was them laughing,
or reading, or...

909
00:46:42.967 --> 00:46:44.843
sitting on the porch
or the couch

910
00:46:44.844 --> 00:46:46.429
holding hands and...

911
00:46:48.764 --> 00:46:51.558
I don't know, I guess I realized
those were the moments

912
00:46:51.559 --> 00:46:53.853
that I was really seeing them
at their best.

913
00:46:55.771 --> 00:46:57.940
That despite everything,
they were just...

914
00:46:59.442 --> 00:47:00.443
being.

915
00:47:04.697 --> 00:47:06.281
- Okay.
- What?

916
00:47:06.282 --> 00:47:08.158
No, I hear you.

917
00:47:08.159 --> 00:47:09.659
It's just a thought.

918
00:47:09.660 --> 00:47:11.620
No, you have a very good point.

919
00:47:23.966 --> 00:47:25.343
- Oh, thank you.
- Sure.

920
00:47:26.427 --> 00:47:28.345
If you need another blanket,
just let me know.

921
00:47:28.346 --> 00:47:30.513
Oh, no, I'm sure
that's-- that's fine.

922
00:47:30.514 --> 00:47:33.808
- Thank you very much.
- I appreciate you being so open

923
00:47:33.809 --> 00:47:35.226
about your parents.

924
00:47:35.227 --> 00:47:36.395
Of course.

925
00:47:42.985 --> 00:47:45.237
For me, toward the end
with Henry...

926
00:47:46.238 --> 00:47:48.490
we-- we didn't know
it was the end.

927
00:47:48.491 --> 00:47:50.993
And had I known,
I would never have...

928
00:47:52.536 --> 00:47:55.330
One night,
Henry had taken a fall.

929
00:47:55.331 --> 00:47:58.166
He had been sleeping
out here for a while.

930
00:47:58.167 --> 00:48:00.335
Navigating had become difficult.

931
00:48:00.336 --> 00:48:02.837
And he fell trying
to get to the bathroom.

932
00:48:02.838 --> 00:48:05.132
I was sleeping in--
in our bedroom.

933
00:48:06.175 --> 00:48:10.179
His voice had become weak
and gravelly by then, so...

934
00:48:13.849 --> 00:48:15.726
I don't know how long
he had been...

935
00:48:29.031 --> 00:48:32.034
So, I don't know how long he had
been calling out for help.

936
00:48:34.036 --> 00:48:36.621
He had soiled himself,
and I tried to get him up.

937
00:48:36.622 --> 00:48:38.706
I couldn't,
so I ran to the neighbors,

938
00:48:38.707 --> 00:48:41.251
the newer neighbors
just a few doors down.

939
00:48:41.252 --> 00:48:42.752
Uh, Henry knew them.

940
00:48:42.753 --> 00:48:45.548
Of course,
I hadn't even bothered to...

941
00:48:48.717 --> 00:48:51.928
I pounded on the door,

942
00:48:51.929 --> 00:48:53.638
and the young man answers.

943
00:48:56.058 --> 00:48:57.893
Chris, I should say his name.
Chris.

944
00:48:58.936 --> 00:49:00.104
I don't think I...

945
00:49:02.148 --> 00:49:03.940
explained much,
maybe three words,

946
00:49:03.941 --> 00:49:05.483
"Henry had fallen,"

947
00:49:05.484 --> 00:49:07.068
and Chris was already
on his way.

948
00:49:07.069 --> 00:49:08.653
He came right in,
he swooped Henry up

949
00:49:08.654 --> 00:49:10.655
like nothing, like air.

950
00:49:10.656 --> 00:49:11.907
And Henry said...

951
00:49:12.950 --> 00:49:15.577
"My Prince Charming, you came."

952
00:49:18.080 --> 00:49:20.123
Chris laughed
and Henry laughed,

953
00:49:20.124 --> 00:49:23.252
and I said, "Well,
that's a stupid fucking joke."

954
00:49:24.503 --> 00:49:26.088
I yelled it, actually.

955
00:49:27.256 --> 00:49:28.756
I was so mad,

956
00:49:28.757 --> 00:49:31.509
so mad at having to make
everything bearable.

957
00:49:31.510 --> 00:49:33.761
And-- and this is just
so you understand

958
00:49:33.762 --> 00:49:35.431
why I need that painting there.

959
00:49:37.141 --> 00:49:38.516
'Cause I hate it.

960
00:49:38.517 --> 00:49:40.768
Like I hated that joke,

961
00:49:40.769 --> 00:49:43.271
because it reminds me
of how I was.

962
00:49:43.272 --> 00:49:45.106
I-I don't see the beauty
of him painting it.

963
00:49:45.107 --> 00:49:48.651
I see the tragedy of him
not finishing it.

964
00:49:48.652 --> 00:49:52.071
I see me hating his body because
it wouldn't listen to him,

965
00:49:52.072 --> 00:49:54.657
hating how long it took him
to put on his seat belt,

966
00:49:54.658 --> 00:49:56.701
or to find the breath
to tell a story

967
00:49:56.702 --> 00:49:58.786
he told so many times before.

968
00:49:58.787 --> 00:50:00.538
I see me...

969
00:50:00.539 --> 00:50:02.624
...angry and frustrated
and short,

970
00:50:02.625 --> 00:50:04.043
and I see Henry...

971
00:50:05.794 --> 00:50:08.297
patient and joyful and loving...

972
00:50:09.340 --> 00:50:11.799
all for me so <i>I'd</i> feel better.

973
00:50:11.800 --> 00:50:13.302
The one who wasn't dying.

974
00:50:14.970 --> 00:50:17.972
When I look at that,
I see me still here

975
00:50:17.973 --> 00:50:20.141
without the only man
who ever truly knew me,

976
00:50:20.142 --> 00:50:22.560
everything about me,

977
00:50:22.561 --> 00:50:25.022
and stayed despite that.

978
00:50:26.482 --> 00:50:28.192
I need that there so I see me.

979
00:50:32.154 --> 00:50:33.613
Good night.

980
00:51:16.198 --> 00:51:18.032
I selected a few options
for scripture readings

981
00:51:18.033 --> 00:51:21.869
for the service, ones that
I know Henry was fond of

982
00:51:21.870 --> 00:51:24.455
- from our Bible study class.
- Okay.

983
00:51:24.456 --> 00:51:27.041
There's John 15:11.

984
00:51:27.042 --> 00:51:29.877
"That My joy
may remain in you

985
00:51:29.878 --> 00:51:31.714
and that your joy may be full."

986
00:51:32.715 --> 00:51:35.300
- Well--
- There's also John 14,
one through three--

987
00:51:35.301 --> 00:51:37.719
Okay, I will trust you
with the Bible stuff.

988
00:51:37.720 --> 00:51:39.637
Uh, one area
that is very import--

989
00:51:39.638 --> 00:51:42.223
Sorry I'm late.

990
00:51:42.224 --> 00:51:44.142
Diane, you know Judith?

991
00:51:44.143 --> 00:51:45.393
Of course.

992
00:51:45.394 --> 00:51:47.312
Judith is our choir director.

993
00:51:47.313 --> 00:51:48.563
Let's get this
party started.

994
00:51:48.564 --> 00:51:49.897
Okay. Hey, neighbor.

995
00:51:49.898 --> 00:51:51.608
And seeing that Henry
was a beloved member

996
00:51:51.609 --> 00:51:53.234
of our choir,

997
00:51:53.235 --> 00:51:55.987
I know that music selection
needs to be special.

998
00:51:55.988 --> 00:51:58.573
Yes, a-actually, that--
that's what I was...

999
00:51:58.574 --> 00:52:00.908
- Henry was very specific.
-  Even better.

1000
00:52:00.909 --> 00:52:03.620
Yeah, he wants the Beach Boys'
"God Only Knows"

1001
00:52:03.621 --> 00:52:05.580
as people arrive,

1002
00:52:05.581 --> 00:52:07.957
and "You're the First,
My Last, My Everything"

1003
00:52:07.958 --> 00:52:09.500
as they leave.

1004
00:52:09.501 --> 00:52:11.794
- That's, uh, Barry White. Yes.
- Yes.

1005
00:52:11.795 --> 00:52:13.921
Barry White.
Wonderful talent.

1006
00:52:13.922 --> 00:52:16.424
-  Well...
- And I mention this

1007
00:52:16.425 --> 00:52:17.592
because of Henry.

1008
00:52:17.593 --> 00:52:19.510
Music was his passion.

1009
00:52:19.511 --> 00:52:21.846
Singing brought him
immense joy.

1010
00:52:21.847 --> 00:52:25.308
Typically, only traditional
hymns are used

1011
00:52:25.309 --> 00:52:27.602
- because-- No, listen--
- Seeing-- seeing as
how much Henry

1012
00:52:27.603 --> 00:52:29.187
was a part of this church,

1013
00:52:29.188 --> 00:52:31.105
and how much the church
meant to him,

1014
00:52:31.106 --> 00:52:32.649
to not have these songs

1015
00:52:32.650 --> 00:52:34.985
would just be
a huge disappointment.

1016
00:52:35.944 --> 00:52:37.196
Well, um...

1017
00:52:38.322 --> 00:52:41.824
These are lovely
and spirited choices, Diane.

1018
00:52:41.825 --> 00:52:43.952
And one has "God" in the title.

1019
00:52:44.787 --> 00:52:46.663
Yes, but, um,

1020
00:52:46.664 --> 00:52:49.667
may I suggest something
more appropriate?

1021
00:52:50.584 --> 00:52:54.296
I mean, that I know Henry
would love to hear us all sing.

1022
00:52:55.464 --> 00:52:58.633
I'm thinking, uh, "Guide Me,
O Thou Great Redeemer."

1023
00:52:58.634 --> 00:53:00.301
-  Oh. Perfect.
- Oh, it's so good.

1024
00:53:00.302 --> 00:53:03.971
And "Tis So Sweet
to Trust in Jesus."

1025
00:53:03.972 --> 00:53:05.890
-  Mm.
- It's a big hit.

1026
00:53:05.891 --> 00:53:07.518
- Really big hit.
- Yes.

1027
00:53:08.394 --> 00:53:10.521
And how do you know Henry
would love these hymns?

1028
00:53:11.522 --> 00:53:13.648
Because of the joy
I would see on his face

1029
00:53:13.649 --> 00:53:15.566
- when he was singing them.
- Oh.

1030
00:53:15.567 --> 00:53:17.151
Mm, thank you, Judith.

1031
00:53:17.152 --> 00:53:18.653
Of course, yes.

1032
00:53:18.654 --> 00:53:22.324
Thank you for that
big bowl of bullshit.

1033
00:53:23.867 --> 00:53:26.244
Traditional fucking hymns only!

1034
00:53:26.245 --> 00:53:27.412
What?

1035
00:53:27.413 --> 00:53:29.163
Those people
are unbelievable!

1036
00:53:29.164 --> 00:53:30.456
- Who?
- The church!

1037
00:53:30.457 --> 00:53:33.000
They shot down my songs
like I knew they would!

1038
00:53:33.001 --> 00:53:34.252
Okay, just give me a second.

1039
00:53:34.253 --> 00:53:36.839
Yes. Yes.

1040
00:53:37.923 --> 00:53:39.382
Why didn't you wake me up?

1041
00:53:39.383 --> 00:53:40.675
I could have gone with you.

1042
00:53:40.676 --> 00:53:43.261
Because I'm capable!
I wanted to be capable!

1043
00:53:43.262 --> 00:53:45.138
Well, maybe I could
talk to them.

1044
00:53:45.139 --> 00:53:46.848
And do what,
something I couldn't?

1045
00:53:46.849 --> 00:53:48.683
No, I-- Did you
tell 'em about the list?

1046
00:53:48.684 --> 00:53:50.685
Of course I told them
about the list!

1047
00:53:50.686 --> 00:53:53.020
O-Okay, look, you're a little
emotional right now.

1048
00:53:53.021 --> 00:53:55.356
What if I go back there
and then--

1049
00:53:55.357 --> 00:53:56.858
and try to reason with them?

1050
00:53:56.859 --> 00:53:58.359
Good luck with Judith Bibbs.

1051
00:53:58.360 --> 00:53:59.527
Who?

1052
00:53:59.528 --> 00:54:01.029
Do these look
like chihuahua to you?

1053
00:54:01.864 --> 00:54:04.532
Wait. What?

1054
00:54:09.246 --> 00:54:10.247
Diane!

1055
00:54:15.711 --> 00:54:16.712
Diane!

1056
00:54:18.630 --> 00:54:19.882
Diane!

1057
00:54:22.968 --> 00:54:24.218
What are you doing?

1058
00:54:24.219 --> 00:54:25.636
What does it look
like I'm doing?

1059
00:54:25.637 --> 00:54:26.971
I'm ending hope.

1060
00:54:26.972 --> 00:54:29.265
- Are you insane?
- What? I'm giving her closure.

1061
00:54:29.266 --> 00:54:30.850
Well, you're gonna give her
a heart attack.

1062
00:54:30.851 --> 00:54:33.061
Well, she acted like she knew
Henry better than me.

1063
00:54:38.233 --> 00:54:40.818
- Oh, you find this funny?
- Yes! Yes, I do.

1064
00:54:40.819 --> 00:54:43.738
I'm watching a woman
throw chicken bones into a yard,

1065
00:54:43.739 --> 00:54:47.074
hoping that another woman thinks
it's pieces of her chihuahua.

1066
00:54:47.075 --> 00:54:50.162
A chihuahua that got
carried off by a hawk.

1067
00:54:51.079 --> 00:54:52.455
So, yeah.

1068
00:54:52.456 --> 00:54:53.998
Yeah, yeah,
I'm laughing at that.

1069
00:54:53.999 --> 00:54:58.252
Well, that's my--
That's my humor.

1070
00:55:02.758 --> 00:55:05.969
I just wanted it
to be what Henry wanted.

1071
00:55:08.972 --> 00:55:10.098
I know.

1072
00:55:12.768 --> 00:55:14.353
We need to pick up
these bones.

1073
00:55:15.771 --> 00:55:17.480
Okay, let's see.

1074
00:55:17.481 --> 00:55:19.023
That's three over here.

1075
00:55:19.024 --> 00:55:20.233
- There's some more.
- Oh.

1076
00:55:20.234 --> 00:55:21.609
I think that is one.

1077
00:55:21.610 --> 00:55:22.860
- Oh, shit.
- Shit.

1078
00:55:22.861 --> 00:55:23.904
Hey!

1079
00:55:24.655 --> 00:55:26.364
What's going on?

1080
00:55:26.365 --> 00:55:27.782
Nothing, everything's fine.

1081
00:55:27.783 --> 00:55:29.784
Um, we were--

1082
00:55:29.785 --> 00:55:31.869
We were just, um--
I did a...

1083
00:55:31.870 --> 00:55:34.205
Where are you going?

1084
00:55:34.206 --> 00:55:36.290
- Um...
-  I didn't hear her.

1085
00:55:36.291 --> 00:55:39.044
I-- No, I-- I thought I left
my shirt out here.

1086
00:55:39.878 --> 00:55:42.630
But, uh, nope.

1087
00:55:42.631 --> 00:55:44.174
See you, Judy.

1088
00:55:45.133 --> 00:55:46.467
It's Judith.

1089
00:55:49.012 --> 00:55:51.138
Judith so thinks
we're sleeping together.

1090
00:55:52.808 --> 00:55:54.308
If God is kind.

1091
00:56:00.524 --> 00:56:02.484
You can see
so many stars here.

1092
00:56:03.485 --> 00:56:04.486
Yeah.

1093
00:56:05.737 --> 00:56:07.239
This part, I don't hate.

1094
00:56:12.661 --> 00:56:13.829
Do you think you'll stay?

1095
00:56:15.163 --> 00:56:16.999
No. There's nothing here.

1096
00:56:24.423 --> 00:56:27.341
Well, as much as I love
a liquid dinner...

1097
00:56:27.342 --> 00:56:29.677
- Oh, sure.
- Will you take care of the fire?

1098
00:56:29.678 --> 00:56:30.679
Yes.

1099
00:56:34.433 --> 00:56:35.851
Hmm.

1100
00:57:13.889 --> 00:57:17.975
Would it be crazy if we opened
another bottle of wine?

1101
00:57:17.976 --> 00:57:20.896
- Or would that--
- My son wants to know
how I took the news.

1102
00:57:21.939 --> 00:57:23.732
"How'd my mom take the news?"

1103
00:57:25.275 --> 00:57:27.069
I assume he's not coming.

1104
00:57:29.404 --> 00:57:30.405
I was gonna tell you.

1105
00:57:31.490 --> 00:57:33.158
Because it's still not safe?

1106
00:57:33.992 --> 00:57:35.243
Yes, unfortunately.

1107
00:57:38.080 --> 00:57:40.164
- Actually, there's more.
- Okay, well--

1108
00:57:40.165 --> 00:57:41.624
Ah.

1109
00:57:41.625 --> 00:57:44.335
"How'd my mom take the news?
I imagine she's pissed.

1110
00:57:44.336 --> 00:57:45.504
"But I thought about...

1111
00:57:46.755 --> 00:57:49.465
"what you said,
and you're right.

1112
00:57:49.466 --> 00:57:51.842
It's not my responsibility."

1113
00:57:54.596 --> 00:57:56.597
- I can explain.
- Open your phone.

1114
00:57:56.598 --> 00:57:59.100
- I-- Diane, I can't.
- Fuck your cone of silence.

1115
00:57:59.101 --> 00:58:02.019
"Not my responsibility"?
That sounds awfully familiar.

1116
00:58:02.020 --> 00:58:03.145
That's not exactly what I said.

1117
00:58:03.146 --> 00:58:04.480
Well, then let's see
what you said.

1118
00:58:04.481 --> 00:58:05.815
Diane, I can explain.

1119
00:58:05.816 --> 00:58:07.608
Nothing you can explain
is to be trusted.

1120
00:58:07.609 --> 00:58:10.027
This, I'll trust.
Open your phone.

1121
00:58:10.028 --> 00:58:12.113
It's not that easy, Diane, I...

1122
00:58:12.114 --> 00:58:14.156
Great. It is that easy.

1123
00:58:14.157 --> 00:58:15.158
Ah!

1124
00:58:19.371 --> 00:58:20.997
Hmm.

1125
00:58:20.998 --> 00:58:22.332
Quite an exchange.

1126
00:58:23.500 --> 00:58:24.501
Mm-hmm.

1127
00:58:25.293 --> 00:58:26.794
Hm!

1128
00:58:26.795 --> 00:58:27.962
Wow.

1129
00:58:27.963 --> 00:58:30.006
Apparently, they did
get the interview.

1130
00:58:30.007 --> 00:58:32.299
"It was a bit harrowing,

1131
00:58:32.300 --> 00:58:34.885
"but we made it
in and out safely.

1132
00:58:34.886 --> 00:58:36.304
We're back at the hotel."

1133
00:58:37.389 --> 00:58:39.141
I guess you just misspoke.

1134
00:58:40.475 --> 00:58:41.976
- It did become safe.
- Mm-hmm?

1135
00:58:41.977 --> 00:58:43.894
- But then it--
- No, no, no, no, no.
No spoilers.

1136
00:58:49.901 --> 00:58:52.571
Did Tyler actually
ponder coming?

1137
00:58:55.741 --> 00:58:58.200
He asked me what I thought
he should do.

1138
00:58:58.201 --> 00:58:59.327
"He should do."

1139
00:59:00.245 --> 00:59:03.999
"Your responsibility is to you,
Tyler, not anyone else."

1140
00:59:05.333 --> 00:59:07.836
Apparently, that's exactly
what you said. Mm-hmm.

1141
00:59:09.254 --> 00:59:12.424
"I'll te--" Oh.
"I'll tell her it wasn't safe.

1142
00:59:13.341 --> 00:59:16.343
"She already knows
that's a strong possibility.

1143
00:59:16.344 --> 00:59:19.680
I'll handle things here.
It'll be fine."

1144
00:59:19.681 --> 00:59:22.850
You didn't just quiet his mind,
you made up his mind!

1145
00:59:22.851 --> 00:59:24.894
- I didn't make up--
- "I'm grateful for you,

1146
00:59:24.895 --> 00:59:27.063
but I'm bummed
I won't get to see you."

1147
00:59:27.064 --> 00:59:28.564
Aw!

1148
00:59:28.565 --> 00:59:30.441
"Miss you, love you, Jamie."

1149
00:59:30.442 --> 00:59:32.610
"Miss you, love you,
Tyler."

1150
00:59:32.611 --> 00:59:34.279
What a great read!

1151
00:59:42.454 --> 00:59:43.914
- I'm sorry, Diane--
- No!

1152
00:59:47.167 --> 00:59:48.709
I'll, uh, pack my things.

1153
00:59:48.710 --> 00:59:49.710
Why?

1154
00:59:50.879 --> 00:59:52.880
You think your job is done?

1155
00:59:52.881 --> 00:59:56.217
Well, I think,
given the circumstances...

1156
00:59:56.218 --> 00:59:58.135
The circumstances?

1157
00:59:58.136 --> 00:59:59.637
The circumstances!

1158
00:59:59.638 --> 01:00:01.931
The circumstances
haven't changed!

1159
01:00:01.932 --> 01:00:04.475
Just more disappointment.

1160
01:00:04.476 --> 01:00:07.311
That, I...
That, I can manage!

1161
01:00:07.312 --> 01:00:09.063
Plus, like you said,

1162
01:00:09.064 --> 01:00:11.565
"We always knew
this was a strong possibility.

1163
01:00:11.566 --> 01:00:13.734
I'll handle things here.
It'll be fine."

1164
01:00:13.735 --> 01:00:15.236
Your words! So, yeah,

1165
01:00:15.237 --> 01:00:17.155
you can keep
handling things!

1166
01:01:08.790 --> 01:01:11.041
All of that's not gonna
fit in that fridge.

1167
01:01:11.042 --> 01:01:13.043
You're gonna need to transfer
everything out of there

1168
01:01:13.044 --> 01:01:14.546
to the one in the garage.

1169
01:01:26.057 --> 01:01:27.474
I was thinking it might be nice

1170
01:01:27.475 --> 01:01:29.727
to display more of Henry's art
at the reception.

1171
01:01:29.728 --> 01:01:32.021
- That's a great idea.
- We rent a storage unit.

1172
01:01:32.022 --> 01:01:33.647
I wrote down the address.

1173
01:01:33.648 --> 01:01:35.901
Okay, would you, um,
mind putting it on the...

1174
01:01:42.741 --> 01:01:44.158
Got it.

1175
01:03:26.428 --> 01:03:28.429
Diane?

1176
01:03:28.430 --> 01:03:29.514
I made dinner.

1177
01:04:01.671 --> 01:04:03.048
The bartenders confirmed.

1178
01:04:04.299 --> 01:04:07.676
And they can help with, um,
with cleanup, too.

1179
01:04:07.677 --> 01:04:08.678
Good.

1180
01:04:12.640 --> 01:04:14.391
So, what time did you
want to leave for the--

1181
01:04:14.392 --> 01:04:16.977
I got a text from Tyler
a while ago.

1182
01:04:16.978 --> 01:04:17.979
Mm.

1183
01:04:19.481 --> 01:04:21.732
- Okay.
- He said he was thinking of me

1184
01:04:21.733 --> 01:04:24.360
and apologized
that he couldn't be here.

1185
01:04:24.361 --> 01:04:27.154
But he's sending thoughts
and prayers for tomorrow.

1186
01:04:27.155 --> 01:04:29.699
He also said he would check in
when he got back.

1187
01:04:30.742 --> 01:04:32.785
- That's great.
- Yeah, it's great

1188
01:04:32.786 --> 01:04:35.497
if you just ignore the fact
that it's all a lie.

1189
01:04:36.373 --> 01:04:38.665
Oh, and he sent
one last sentence.

1190
01:04:38.666 --> 01:04:41.503
His usual.
"Miss you and love you, Mom."

1191
01:04:43.505 --> 01:04:46.673
You get that one, too.
I remember reading that.

1192
01:04:46.674 --> 01:04:49.718
At first, I thought it peculiar
for a boss and an employee--

1193
01:04:49.719 --> 01:04:52.388
- Who became friends.
- Well, decided on friends, yes,

1194
01:04:52.389 --> 01:04:54.598
but that's why I said at first,
I found it peculiar.

1195
01:04:54.599 --> 01:04:56.350
And then I thought, well,

1196
01:04:56.351 --> 01:04:57.894
you do have
this history together.

1197
01:04:58.895 --> 01:05:01.939
And this "you loving him,
him conflicted" journey.

1198
01:05:01.940 --> 01:05:04.608
So, yes, it's not strange
that along the way

1199
01:05:04.609 --> 01:05:06.735
you would start saying
that to each other.

1200
01:05:06.736 --> 01:05:09.071
It's how we end our texts.
I think it's nice.

1201
01:05:09.072 --> 01:05:11.366
Of course, it's sweet.
And it works.

1202
01:05:13.034 --> 01:05:15.244
I know Tyler won't check in
when he gets back.

1203
01:05:15.245 --> 01:05:18.038
Eventually, yes,
but I imagine it'll be a month

1204
01:05:18.039 --> 01:05:19.873
before I hear from him.

1205
01:05:19.874 --> 01:05:21.917
That's what our relationship
has become.

1206
01:05:21.918 --> 01:05:25.546
Just large chasms of time pass
with no communication,

1207
01:05:25.547 --> 01:05:28.383
and then I'll get the
arbitrary text, "Checking in."

1208
01:05:29.384 --> 01:05:31.218
Quite literally,
that's how it starts.

1209
01:05:31.219 --> 01:05:33.053
"Checking in."

1210
01:05:33.054 --> 01:05:34.430
And of course,
I respond immediately,

1211
01:05:34.431 --> 01:05:35.722
like a mother should,

1212
01:05:35.723 --> 01:05:37.724
and we check in
with one another.

1213
01:05:37.725 --> 01:05:40.270
And at the end of it,
"Miss you, love you, Mom."

1214
01:05:41.229 --> 01:05:43.272
And like I said, it works.

1215
01:05:43.273 --> 01:05:45.190
It's how he keeps me
on the hook.

1216
01:05:45.191 --> 01:05:48.402
It's just enough
to make me feel like
he still needs me.

1217
01:05:48.403 --> 01:05:50.904
Just enough to keep me
from giving up completely

1218
01:05:50.905 --> 01:05:52.906
and letting go for good.

1219
01:05:52.907 --> 01:05:54.324
And I imagine for Tyler,

1220
01:05:54.325 --> 01:05:56.743
just enough
to ease his own guilt,

1221
01:05:56.744 --> 01:05:58.997
the guilt he feels
for hurting me.

1222
01:06:01.749 --> 01:06:03.001
For hurting us?

1223
01:06:04.169 --> 01:06:05.462
I know it to be genuine.

1224
01:06:06.337 --> 01:06:07.963
I didn't say
it wasn't genuine.

1225
01:06:07.964 --> 01:06:10.257
I just think it's more
complicated than that.

1226
01:06:10.258 --> 01:06:12.134
Do you not find it
more complicated

1227
01:06:12.135 --> 01:06:14.094
when you read his
"Miss you, love you," in a text?

1228
01:06:14.095 --> 01:06:15.471
And when you have
to type it back,

1229
01:06:15.472 --> 01:06:17.264
it doesn't feel
confusing to you,

1230
01:06:17.265 --> 01:06:19.433
after everything that's happened
between the two of you?

1231
01:06:19.434 --> 01:06:20.642
No.

1232
01:06:20.643 --> 01:06:22.311
Even after you shared
your feelings

1233
01:06:22.312 --> 01:06:23.812
and he wasn't there yet?

1234
01:06:23.813 --> 01:06:26.106
Even after he was
seemingly there

1235
01:06:26.107 --> 01:06:27.650
and then took it all back?

1236
01:06:29.152 --> 01:06:30.319
No.

1237
01:06:30.320 --> 01:06:31.778
Well, I guess--

1238
01:06:31.779 --> 01:06:33.947
I guess I'm just speaking
for myself here.

1239
01:06:33.948 --> 01:06:37.284
I just find it hard to imagine
how genuine it can be

1240
01:06:37.285 --> 01:06:39.119
when my son refuses to come,

1241
01:06:39.120 --> 01:06:41.830
and yet texts,
"Miss you, love you, Mom."

1242
01:06:41.831 --> 01:06:43.290
Now, of course,
he's under the assumption

1243
01:06:43.291 --> 01:06:45.375
that the lie
didn't get screwed up.

1244
01:06:45.376 --> 01:06:47.794
As far as Tyler is concerned,

1245
01:06:47.795 --> 01:06:50.506
he thinks I believe he's been
prohibited from coming

1246
01:06:50.507 --> 01:06:52.841
due to circumstances.

1247
01:06:52.842 --> 01:06:55.511
So, for Tyler,
he's comforted by the fact

1248
01:06:55.512 --> 01:06:57.804
that his mom should have
no doubt that he misses her

1249
01:06:57.805 --> 01:07:01.309
and loves her on the day before
she buries her second husband.

1250
01:07:01.976 --> 01:07:04.061
But then, of course,
you made up his mind for him.

1251
01:07:04.062 --> 01:07:06.522
So, yeah, who the fuck knows
what "Miss you, love you,"
means anymore?

1252
01:07:06.523 --> 01:07:08.899
- I-- I didn't make up his mind.
- No, you gave him an out.

1253
01:07:08.900 --> 01:07:11.360
No, he asked my opinion.
He didn't have to take it.

1254
01:07:11.361 --> 01:07:13.738
And why was your opinion
for him not to come?

1255
01:07:14.572 --> 01:07:16.198
I didn't tell him not to come.

1256
01:07:16.199 --> 01:07:18.659
Yes, you told him that
it wasn't his responsibility--

1257
01:07:18.660 --> 01:07:21.161
No. No, I said
he had a responsibility

1258
01:07:21.162 --> 01:07:23.038
- to himself.
- And I told you

1259
01:07:23.039 --> 01:07:25.082
- he had a responsibility...
- Yes, that he had
a responsibility to you.

1260
01:07:25.083 --> 01:07:26.875
- ...to me.
- Yes, yeah, but okay.

1261
01:07:26.876 --> 01:07:28.627
Diane, are we really
gonna do this?

1262
01:07:28.628 --> 01:07:31.547
Are we really gonna break down
the subtext of a text?

1263
01:07:31.548 --> 01:07:34.341
Yes, because now
I'm ready for my explanation.

1264
01:07:34.342 --> 01:07:36.510
- You're not gonna like it.
- Yeah, I hate it so far.

1265
01:07:36.511 --> 01:07:39.429
I did what I thought was right,
knowing what I know.

1266
01:07:39.430 --> 01:07:41.390
- Knowing what?
- How Tyler feels

1267
01:07:41.391 --> 01:07:43.517
about everything that happened
between the two of you.

1268
01:07:43.518 --> 01:07:44.726
Which is what?

1269
01:07:46.396 --> 01:07:47.813
Oh, but of course.

1270
01:07:47.814 --> 01:07:50.357
Now, we're back to your
airtight cone of silence.

1271
01:07:50.358 --> 01:07:52.192
Fine, I'll lift it from my side.

1272
01:07:52.193 --> 01:07:54.861
I cheated on Tyler's dad
with Henry.

1273
01:07:54.862 --> 01:07:56.989
- I assume that you know?
- Yes.

1274
01:07:56.990 --> 01:07:59.283
And did he also share with you
that his dad and I

1275
01:07:59.284 --> 01:08:01.410
had fallen out of love
long before that,

1276
01:08:01.411 --> 01:08:03.370
and that his dad
had cheated as well?

1277
01:08:03.371 --> 01:08:05.706
- Y-Yes, but--
- But his affair was fleeting

1278
01:08:05.707 --> 01:08:07.375
and I fell in love
with mine, yes?

1279
01:08:08.751 --> 01:08:10.127
- Yes.
- Yes.

1280
01:08:10.128 --> 01:08:11.379
That's my high crime.

1281
01:08:12.130 --> 01:08:14.965
Well, I think for Tyler,
knowing how hurt his dad was,

1282
01:08:14.966 --> 01:08:18.051
and then with Tyler's dad
passing away,

1283
01:08:18.052 --> 01:08:19.886
I think that there is
an allegiance to his father

1284
01:08:19.887 --> 01:08:21.763
that makes it
difficult for Tyler to--

1285
01:08:21.764 --> 01:08:24.766
- Look, Dia-- your son
struggles with how--
-  My son struggles.

1286
01:08:24.767 --> 01:08:27.311
Oh, my God. Lost my appetite.

1287
01:08:27.312 --> 01:08:29.980
- Diane, just let me--
- No, no!

1288
01:08:29.981 --> 01:08:32.274
No, Tyler did have
an allegiance to his dad,

1289
01:08:32.275 --> 01:08:34.943
and still does to this day, apparently.

1290
01:08:38.239 --> 01:08:42.242
After his father and I divorced,
despite both cheating,

1291
01:08:42.243 --> 01:08:44.244
despite our anger
and differences,

1292
01:08:44.245 --> 01:08:46.079
the one thing we agreed upon

1293
01:08:46.080 --> 01:08:48.498
was that our priority
was to be Tyler.

1294
01:08:48.499 --> 01:08:50.459
He should know
nothing from us but love,

1295
01:08:50.460 --> 01:08:52.336
and that included
to each other.

1296
01:08:54.422 --> 01:08:55.589
I hate that I'm
telling you this!

1297
01:08:55.590 --> 01:08:58.008
- You don't have to tell me.
- Yes, I do!

1298
01:09:04.182 --> 01:09:07.225
Around the time Henry
and I moved in together,

1299
01:09:07.226 --> 01:09:09.811
when things were clearly
not fleeting for us,

1300
01:09:09.812 --> 01:09:12.357
Tyler's dad began
to struggle with that.

1301
01:09:13.316 --> 01:09:16.735
One weekend, when Tyler
was at his dad's,

1302
01:09:16.736 --> 01:09:18.946
you want to know what he put
in our son's head?

1303
01:09:20.490 --> 01:09:24.117
"You're on my side.
You're on your dad's side."

1304
01:09:24.118 --> 01:09:26.703
You know what that does
to a nine-year-old
to draw that line?

1305
01:09:26.704 --> 01:09:28.372
To suggest that love
is conditional?

1306
01:09:28.373 --> 01:09:30.290
Because I can tell you
from experience,

1307
01:09:30.291 --> 01:09:32.376
you do not come back from that.

1308
01:09:32.377 --> 01:09:34.294
The damage is done.

1309
01:09:34.295 --> 01:09:36.963
And I only came to know of what
his dad said a few years later

1310
01:09:36.964 --> 01:09:39.341
when Tyler was acting out
and I sent him to his room.

1311
01:09:39.342 --> 01:09:41.385
He used his dad's words
against me.

1312
01:09:41.386 --> 01:09:42.929
"I'm on dad's side."

1313
01:09:43.930 --> 01:09:46.556
But truthfully, I was suspicious
that something had been said

1314
01:09:46.557 --> 01:09:49.351
from the moment my nine-year-old
came home after that weekend,

1315
01:09:49.352 --> 01:09:53.146
because the son who left
was not the son who came back.

1316
01:09:53.147 --> 01:09:56.692
Not the way he looked at me,
the way he hugged me.

1317
01:09:56.693 --> 01:09:58.860
He would bristle at my touch.

1318
01:09:58.861 --> 01:10:02.364
A-And Henry, Henry was a pariah
from that day on.

1319
01:10:04.492 --> 01:10:06.201
I'm sorry, Diane.
I didn't know.

1320
01:10:06.202 --> 01:10:07.494
And you wouldn't have,
not from me.

1321
01:10:07.495 --> 01:10:10.372
I never told anyone,
until now.

1322
01:10:10.373 --> 01:10:13.083
Not even Henry.
Even after I came to know

1323
01:10:13.084 --> 01:10:15.001
what his dad had said,
I never confronted him.

1324
01:10:15.002 --> 01:10:19.381
Never uttered a negative thing
about him in retaliation.

1325
01:10:19.382 --> 01:10:23.343
Even as Tyler used those words
against me, I stayed calm.

1326
01:10:23.344 --> 01:10:26.513
All I said was,
"Well, I hope you know

1327
01:10:26.514 --> 01:10:28.349
that Henry and I
love you, too."

1328
01:10:30.351 --> 01:10:34.105
Even after Tyler refused to let
me go to his dad's funeral.

1329
01:10:35.356 --> 01:10:38.233
I mean,
this is a man I loved,

1330
01:10:38.234 --> 01:10:39.609
I still love!

1331
01:10:39.610 --> 01:10:41.778
Even then, I respected
my son's feelings,

1332
01:10:41.779 --> 01:10:46.200
and I sat out on that patio,
and I grieved his dad alone.

1333
01:10:47.243 --> 01:10:49.536
From the moment my nine-year-old
came home after that weekend,

1334
01:10:49.537 --> 01:10:51.538
I have shown him
nothing but love,

1335
01:10:51.539 --> 01:10:53.248
because I knew he needed it.

1336
01:10:53.249 --> 01:10:56.209
I knew he wanted it,
and still does to this day.

1337
01:10:56.210 --> 01:10:59.045
It just-- it just comes
with a price.

1338
01:10:59.046 --> 01:11:01.631
But I have never, never stopped
being his mom.

1339
01:11:01.632 --> 01:11:03.925
I've-- I have stayed his mom.

1340
01:11:03.926 --> 01:11:05.761
And-- and against
my better judgment,

1341
01:11:05.762 --> 01:11:07.429
I have kept helping Tyler

1342
01:11:07.430 --> 01:11:09.724
through any doorway
he struggles with.

1343
01:11:11.225 --> 01:11:13.810
Now, as for you,

1344
01:11:13.811 --> 01:11:16.730
just so you're clear
going forward with your life,

1345
01:11:16.731 --> 01:11:19.609
just so you come
to truly understand...

1346
01:11:20.902 --> 01:11:23.780
<i>that</i> is a cone of silence.

1347
01:11:26.991 --> 01:11:30.619
Diane, I'm very sorry
for what you went through,

1348
01:11:30.620 --> 01:11:32.329
and I'm sorry for what
you're going through.

1349
01:11:32.330 --> 01:11:33.914
But again, I didn't know.

1350
01:11:33.915 --> 01:11:37.083
What about what we've come
to know, what we've shared here?

1351
01:11:37.084 --> 01:11:39.127
- Going on that alone,
why not tell Tyler--
- Diane, I--

1352
01:11:39.128 --> 01:11:40.587
You could have
texted him yourself,

1353
01:11:40.588 --> 01:11:42.506
but instead, you chose
to stay angry.

1354
01:11:42.507 --> 01:11:44.674
Yeah, and you chose
to be on his side.

1355
01:11:44.675 --> 01:11:48.094
Oh, my God.
I love that you refuse to listen

1356
01:11:48.095 --> 01:11:50.806
to anything that doesn't allow
you to stay the victim.

1357
01:11:50.807 --> 01:11:52.974
- I'm just trying to understand.
- What you need to do

1358
01:11:52.975 --> 01:11:55.602
is recognize that I have
been here for six days

1359
01:11:55.603 --> 01:11:58.438
helping you, enduring you,
taking dagger after dagger.

1360
01:11:58.439 --> 01:11:59.689
What about the daggers
I've taken?

1361
01:11:59.690 --> 01:12:00.941
Well, I'm not disputing that,

1362
01:12:00.942 --> 01:12:02.275
but I'm not the one
who threw them.

1363
01:12:02.276 --> 01:12:04.027
- Yes, you did!
- No, not the ones

1364
01:12:04.028 --> 01:12:06.279
that hurt you most.
I'm not your son, Diane.

1365
01:12:06.280 --> 01:12:07.697
No. You're worse.

1366
01:12:07.698 --> 01:12:09.616
- You're in love with him.
- Oh, my God.

1367
01:12:09.617 --> 01:12:11.619
- Diane, I told you--
- No. Nope.

1368
01:12:12.537 --> 01:12:14.621
- Fuck your story.
- Wow.

1369
01:12:14.622 --> 01:12:16.289
Wow, fuck my story.

1370
01:12:16.290 --> 01:12:18.792
You are so clearly
still in love with my son.

1371
01:12:18.793 --> 01:12:20.293
- I am not.
- Had I known that,

1372
01:12:20.294 --> 01:12:22.379
I would have relieved you
on day one.

1373
01:12:22.380 --> 01:12:23.505
Well, then, relieve me now.

1374
01:12:23.506 --> 01:12:24.798
- Please.
- And give you the satisfaction

1375
01:12:24.799 --> 01:12:26.508
of just walking away?
Hell, no!

1376
01:12:26.509 --> 01:12:28.301
Yeah, you wouldn't do that.
And you know what, Diane?

1377
01:12:28.302 --> 01:12:30.804
You wouldn't have because
you've enjoyed all of this.

1378
01:12:30.805 --> 01:12:33.014
- Goading me, tormenting me.
-  I most certainly
have not.

1379
01:12:33.015 --> 01:12:35.183
Please, you get off
on your power.

1380
01:12:35.184 --> 01:12:37.310
I have a right to get off!

1381
01:12:37.311 --> 01:12:40.021
- And had I known how miserable
this was all gonna be...
- Shit.

1382
01:12:40.022 --> 01:12:42.316
...I never would have offered
to come here in the first place!

1383
01:12:44.694 --> 01:12:45.695
"Offered"?

1384
01:12:46.988 --> 01:12:48.989
- What do you mean, "offered"?
- Okay, wait.

1385
01:12:48.990 --> 01:12:51.658
You had to come,
you had no choice.

1386
01:12:51.659 --> 01:12:54.160
- Yes, but...
- This is your job.

1387
01:12:54.161 --> 01:12:57.163
You have to be here.
You said that many times.

1388
01:12:57.164 --> 01:13:00.166
- Just hold on!
- Adamantly! Did-- did my son

1389
01:13:00.167 --> 01:13:02.085
- even ask you to come?
- Hold on.

1390
01:13:02.086 --> 01:13:04.504
Did Tyler even ask you

1391
01:13:04.505 --> 01:13:06.006
- to come, ever?
- It's complicated!

1392
01:13:06.007 --> 01:13:07.008
Unbelievable.

1393
01:13:07.842 --> 01:13:10.176
Okay, okay.
Tyler called.

1394
01:13:10.177 --> 01:13:12.512
He was stuck overseas,
he was distraught,

1395
01:13:12.513 --> 01:13:14.014
- he didn't know
who else to call.
- Mm-hmm.

1396
01:13:14.015 --> 01:13:16.725
He apologized for calling,
admitted it was awkward.

1397
01:13:16.726 --> 01:13:19.019
- Why would it be awkward?
- Because it had been a while

1398
01:13:19.020 --> 01:13:20.687
- since we had spoken, but--
- Wait.

1399
01:13:20.688 --> 01:13:23.858
How long ago did Tyler
break your heart
and you walked away?

1400
01:13:26.944 --> 01:13:29.154
- About two weeks, but--
- Two weeks?!

1401
01:13:29.155 --> 01:13:31.197
- Yes, it was earlier than--
- There is no way

1402
01:13:31.198 --> 01:13:32.949
- you have moved on.
- Yes, I have.

1403
01:13:32.950 --> 01:13:35.452
In fact, this road trip,
this longer trip,

1404
01:13:35.453 --> 01:13:38.622
that's me moving to New York.
I'm not even going back to LA.

1405
01:13:38.623 --> 01:13:41.416
Hold on, hold on.
So, the day you walked away

1406
01:13:41.417 --> 01:13:43.710
to give yourself time,
you actually quit?

1407
01:13:43.711 --> 01:13:45.545
- Yes.
- Then, why not own that

1408
01:13:45.546 --> 01:13:47.047
from the minute
you walked in my door?

1409
01:13:47.048 --> 01:13:48.298
- Why lie to me?
- It was just--

1410
01:13:48.299 --> 01:13:50.258
"This is my job.
I have to be here."

1411
01:13:50.259 --> 01:13:52.802
- It was just easier.
- Yes, I imagine it was,

1412
01:13:52.803 --> 01:13:54.471
so much easier
to portray yourself

1413
01:13:54.472 --> 01:13:56.431
as this self-righteous victim

1414
01:13:56.432 --> 01:13:57.891
- who's had to endure--
- No, I decided

1415
01:13:57.892 --> 01:13:59.559
to put aside everything

1416
01:13:59.560 --> 01:14:01.603
and take the high road, Diane.

1417
01:14:01.604 --> 01:14:03.146
- Oh.
- So that Tyler could see,

1418
01:14:03.147 --> 01:14:05.231
despite all of the hurt
I endured,

1419
01:14:05.232 --> 01:14:07.275
I would still be there for him.

1420
01:14:07.276 --> 01:14:09.069
And that I could move on
with my life

1421
01:14:09.070 --> 01:14:11.614
knowing I was leaving Tyler
behind seeing that about me.

1422
01:14:16.327 --> 01:14:18.578
Yes. Yes.

1423
01:14:18.579 --> 01:14:21.998
- Yes. That is why.
- What?

1424
01:14:21.999 --> 01:14:23.833
- You resent him.
- Oh, plea-- No.

1425
01:14:23.834 --> 01:14:25.752
You're not just in love
with my son.

1426
01:14:25.753 --> 01:14:27.212
You resent him.

1427
01:14:27.213 --> 01:14:28.922
- I am taking the high road.
- Which is where you go

1428
01:14:28.923 --> 01:14:31.091
when you want people
to feel like shit.

1429
01:14:31.092 --> 01:14:32.759
Don't tell me
about the high road.

1430
01:14:32.760 --> 01:14:34.928
I wrote the book
on taking the high road.

1431
01:14:34.929 --> 01:14:36.680
You want Tyler to feel guilty.

1432
01:14:36.681 --> 01:14:38.640
Fine. Yes, I do.

1433
01:14:38.641 --> 01:14:41.601
- But that's not why I came.
- It's exactly why you came.

1434
01:14:41.602 --> 01:14:43.520
You want Tyler to miss you.

1435
01:14:43.521 --> 01:14:45.105
You want Tyler to love you.

1436
01:14:45.106 --> 01:14:46.773
- You won't realize--
- I'm moving on with my life--

1437
01:14:46.774 --> 01:14:48.818
Do not lie anymore!

1438
01:14:49.652 --> 01:14:52.612
Especially to someone
who knows exactly what it means

1439
01:14:52.613 --> 01:14:55.115
to love and resent my son.

1440
01:14:55.116 --> 01:14:57.742
And when we love
and resent the same person,

1441
01:14:57.743 --> 01:14:59.829
that's when they control us
the most.

1442
01:15:00.705 --> 01:15:03.999
Jamie, you will always
be everything Tyler needs,

1443
01:15:04.000 --> 01:15:06.459
everything he desires
in a boyfriend.

1444
01:15:06.460 --> 01:15:08.461
But you will never be his type.

1445
01:15:08.462 --> 01:15:11.132
He will never want you
the way you want him to.

1446
01:15:15.511 --> 01:15:18.639
And he will never be the son
that you want him to be.

1447
01:15:20.850 --> 01:15:23.977
You might not call Tyler
a selfish, ungrateful dickhead

1448
01:15:23.978 --> 01:15:25.687
to his face,
but he can feel it.

1449
01:15:25.688 --> 01:15:28.148
He can see it in your face,
he can hear it in your voice.

1450
01:15:28.149 --> 01:15:30.150
He can read it in your texts.

1451
01:15:30.151 --> 01:15:32.235
But yet, you're floored

1452
01:15:32.236 --> 01:15:34.487
that he doesn't want to come
running back to your arms.

1453
01:15:34.488 --> 01:15:37.449
- I am his mother!
- Well, then fight like one!

1454
01:15:37.450 --> 01:15:38.992
Fight for him instead
of tearing me down,

1455
01:15:38.993 --> 01:15:40.201
which is easier, right?

1456
01:15:40.202 --> 01:15:41.911
It's easier to make the pain
about anything--

1457
01:15:41.912 --> 01:15:42.996
anyone but you.

1458
01:15:42.997 --> 01:15:44.999
- Get out!
- Happily, thank you!

1459
01:15:45.958 --> 01:15:49.961
But you know what, Diane?
You are where you are by choice.

1460
01:15:49.962 --> 01:15:53.006
And you made
that choice the second
that nine-year-old came home

1461
01:15:53.007 --> 01:15:55.175
and you chose not to fight.

1462
01:15:55.176 --> 01:15:57.010
And you had
every right to fight.

1463
01:15:57.011 --> 01:15:59.012
You had every right
to march up to his father

1464
01:15:59.013 --> 01:16:00.680
and say, "What the hell
were you thinking?"

1465
01:16:00.681 --> 01:16:03.391
But no.
Instead, you chose resentment.

1466
01:16:03.392 --> 01:16:06.436
And from what I can tell,
you always choose resentment.

1467
01:16:06.437 --> 01:16:09.189
You choose resentment
of-- of-- of New Mexico,

1468
01:16:09.190 --> 01:16:11.357
of-- of-- of Kathy's
shitty succulent,

1469
01:16:11.358 --> 01:16:13.359
of-- of-- of Judith's dead dog,

1470
01:16:13.360 --> 01:16:15.528
of the goddamn owl,
and me!

1471
01:16:15.529 --> 01:16:17.405
- As I should!
- Oh, oh, yes.

1472
01:16:17.406 --> 01:16:20.492
No, I am your holy grail
of resentment.

1473
01:16:20.493 --> 01:16:23.411
And what an easy place
to put all of your anger
and resentment,

1474
01:16:23.412 --> 01:16:25.455
the week you have to bury
your second husband,

1475
01:16:25.456 --> 01:16:27.123
instead of facing the ugly truth

1476
01:16:27.124 --> 01:16:28.875
that you're angry
and resentful of Henry

1477
01:16:28.876 --> 01:16:31.544
- for having to bury him.
- How dare you!

1478
01:16:31.545 --> 01:16:33.339
Don't lie to me, Diane.

1479
01:16:34.048 --> 01:16:36.216
Especially to somebody
who knows what it feels like

1480
01:16:36.217 --> 01:16:39.135
to spend years of your life
watching the only people

1481
01:16:39.136 --> 01:16:40.971
you have left
in the world leave.

1482
01:16:43.432 --> 01:16:46.977
And we do, we resent them
because we need them here.

1483
01:16:48.979 --> 01:16:51.398
Because we don't know
who we are without them.

1484
01:16:52.650 --> 01:16:55.902
You said it yourself, Diane.

1485
01:16:55.903 --> 01:16:57.779
You hate how you were
with Henry.

1486
01:16:57.780 --> 01:16:59.405
You hated him
for putting you there.

1487
01:16:59.406 --> 01:17:01.658
And yet this whole time,
you had somebody looking at you

1488
01:17:01.659 --> 01:17:03.034
with nothing but love,
begging you

1489
01:17:03.035 --> 01:17:04.787
to get out of a place
you refuse to leave.

1490
01:17:05.579 --> 01:17:08.081
A place that you--
you choose to be consumed

1491
01:17:08.082 --> 01:17:10.250
by the love you're not getting
from a son who left

1492
01:17:10.251 --> 01:17:12.335
rather than grieving
the loss of a man

1493
01:17:12.336 --> 01:17:14.672
who knew everything
about you and stayed.

1494
01:17:51.333 --> 01:17:52.793
Here's the sun.

1495
01:17:59.800 --> 01:18:01.135
There's the fucking sky!

1496
01:18:03.304 --> 01:18:06.307
And there's the goddamn owl.

1497
01:18:09.518 --> 01:18:12.812
Bringing back the fucking cat!

1498
01:18:20.404 --> 01:18:21.864
I didn't mean to--

1499
01:18:22.740 --> 01:18:23.824
Let's be done.

1500
01:19:13.749 --> 01:19:15.959
<i>Hey, lady.
Just got out of church.</i>

1501
01:19:15.960 --> 01:19:18.044
<i>What are you doing?</i>

1502
01:19:18.045 --> 01:19:20.588
<i>I know that annoys you</i>

1503
01:19:20.589 --> 01:19:22.758
<i>when I ask your
voicemail questions.</i>

1504
01:19:23.968 --> 01:19:25.718
<i>I, uh, I just wanted
to let you know</i>

1505
01:19:25.719 --> 01:19:27.595
<i>I'm gonna grab lunch
with a couple of friends,</i>

1506
01:19:27.596 --> 01:19:29.222
<i>and I'll walk home.</i>

1507
01:19:29.223 --> 01:19:31.766
<i>Oh, uh, in case I forget,</i>

1508
01:19:31.767 --> 01:19:33.393
<i>a newer member
of the congregation</i>

1509
01:19:33.394 --> 01:19:35.311
<i>asked me today
how we met.</i>

1510
01:19:35.312 --> 01:19:37.063
<i>And I said,
"Well, we didn't meet.</i>

1511
01:19:37.064 --> 01:19:38.482
<i>Diane discovered me."</i>

1512
01:19:39.483 --> 01:19:41.068
<i>Now, how sweet
of me was that?</i>

1513
01:19:42.486 --> 01:19:44.238
<i>Alright, I love you.
I'll see you soon.</i>

1514
01:19:46.240 --> 01:19:48.491
<i>Oh, uh, uh, one more thing.</i>

1515
01:19:48.492 --> 01:19:50.911
<i>What are you doing?</i>

1516
01:21:21.001 --> 01:21:27.048
<i>âª Just to take Him
at his word âª</i>

1517
01:21:27.049 --> 01:21:33.554
<i>âª Just to rest
upon His promise âª</i>

1518
01:21:33.555 --> 01:21:40.229
<i>âª Just to know
thus saith the Lord âª</i>

1519
01:21:43.065 --> 01:21:47.861
<i>âª Jesus, Jesus,
how I trust Him âª</i>

1520
01:21:49.196 --> 01:21:54.326
<i>âª How I've proved Him
o'er and o'er âª</i>

1521
01:21:55.077 --> 01:22:00.790
<i>âª Jesus, Jesus,
precious Jesus âª</i>

1522
01:22:00.791 --> 01:22:05.628
<i>âª Oh, the grace
to trust Him âª</i>

1523
01:22:05.629 --> 01:22:10.133
<i>âª More âª</i>

1524
01:22:10.134 --> 01:22:11.718
Good Lord.

1525
01:22:30.320 --> 01:22:32.572
I wasn't going to get up here.

1526
01:22:32.573 --> 01:22:34.907
Henry would not expect it.

1527
01:22:34.908 --> 01:22:37.076
In fact, he's--

1528
01:22:37.077 --> 01:22:39.079
He's probably rolling
his eyes right now.

1529
01:22:40.456 --> 01:22:42.583
But he was clear about...

1530
01:22:44.126 --> 01:22:47.754
what he wanted... from me.

1531
01:22:52.342 --> 01:22:54.428
And I need to finish that.

1532
01:23:01.268 --> 01:23:03.187
"The first, my last...

1533
01:23:04.771 --> 01:23:05.939
"my everything.

1534
01:23:07.858 --> 01:23:09.943
"And the answer
to all my dreams.

1535
01:23:12.821 --> 01:23:16.283
"You are my sun,
my moon...

1536
01:23:17.284 --> 01:23:18.702
my guiding star."

1537
01:23:22.956 --> 01:23:23.957
Um...

1538
01:23:24.958 --> 01:23:27.169
<i>âª My... my... âª</i>

1539
01:23:30.672 --> 01:23:31.673
<i>âª My âª</i>

1540
01:23:32.633 --> 01:23:35.969
<i>âª My, my kind of wonderful âª</i>

1541
01:23:37.304 --> 01:23:39.848
<i>âª That's what you are âª</i>

1542
01:23:42.643 --> 01:23:46.480
<i>âª I know there's only âª</i>

1543
01:23:47.356 --> 01:23:48.982
<i>âª One like you âª</i>

1544
01:23:52.486 --> 01:23:53.820
<i>âª There's no way âª</i>

1545
01:23:54.988 --> 01:23:57.491
<i>âª They could have made two âª</i>

1546
01:24:05.749 --> 01:24:09.545
"Yeah, you're all
I'm living for."

1547
01:24:12.673 --> 01:24:16.593
<i>âª Your love
I'll keep for evermore âª</i>

1548
01:24:18.428 --> 01:24:21.347
<i>- âª You're the first âª
- âª You're the first âª</i>

1549
01:24:21.348 --> 01:24:22.933
<i>- âª You're the last âª
- âª You're the last âª</i>

1550
01:24:24.351 --> 01:24:26.436
<i>âª My everything âª</i>

1551
01:24:28.855 --> 01:24:30.690
- You should join the choir.
- I can't, it's not really--

1552
01:24:30.691 --> 01:24:32.233
- Oh.
- That was beautiful.

1553
01:24:32.234 --> 01:24:34.235
- I'll see you back at the house.
You have the address?
- Yeah.

1554
01:24:34.236 --> 01:24:35.903
Okay, great.

1555
01:24:35.904 --> 01:24:37.030
Jamie.

1556
01:24:38.782 --> 01:24:41.617
Can you grab Henry for me
and the floral arrangements?

1557
01:24:41.618 --> 01:24:43.953
They'll balk at that.
Traditionally, you're supposed
to donate them

1558
01:24:43.954 --> 01:24:47.040
for Sunday services,
but just tell them God owes me.

1559
01:24:49.418 --> 01:24:51.419
Anyways, I'm bringing
my famous deviled eggs.

1560
01:24:51.420 --> 01:24:52.795
Oh, please don't.

1561
01:24:52.796 --> 01:24:54.088
It's right over here.

1562
01:25:06.560 --> 01:25:08.894
Have you ever seen
so much joy on a canvas?

1563
01:25:08.895 --> 01:25:11.898
-  It's something.
- Mm.

1564
01:25:13.066 --> 01:25:16.068
- Oh, what's happening here?
- Oh, that's an owl

1565
01:25:16.069 --> 01:25:18.279
bringing back our cat,
Barnaby, so...

1566
01:25:18.280 --> 01:25:21.241
- Oh. My.
- So, like I said, just joy.

1567
01:25:23.076 --> 01:25:25.411
- It's beautiful.
- Aw.

1568
01:25:25.412 --> 01:25:28.331
It warms my heart
to hear you say that.

1569
01:25:28.332 --> 01:25:30.249
Because Henry
wanted you to have it.

1570
01:25:30.250 --> 01:25:31.751
- No.
- Yes.

1571
01:25:31.752 --> 01:25:33.586
- N-No.
- His time in the choir

1572
01:25:33.587 --> 01:25:35.172
was so precious to him.

1573
01:25:36.089 --> 01:25:38.090
So, maybe for the choir room.

1574
01:25:38.091 --> 01:25:39.800
Ohh.

1575
01:25:39.801 --> 01:25:41.177
- Yeah?
- Hmm.

1576
01:25:41.178 --> 01:25:43.180
It'll be like he's still there
singing with you.

1577
01:25:49.019 --> 01:25:50.020
Hmm.

1578
01:25:51.813 --> 01:25:52.939
God bless.

1579
01:25:57.110 --> 01:25:58.611
- Travel well.
- Thanks, Diane.

1580
01:25:58.612 --> 01:26:00.280
- Mm-hmm, bye.
- We're here if you
need anything.

1581
01:26:11.291 --> 01:26:13.626
For some reason,
people thought they should bring

1582
01:26:13.627 --> 01:26:15.044
<i>more</i> casseroles.

1583
01:26:15.045 --> 01:26:16.338
I saw that.

1584
01:26:17.631 --> 01:26:20.675
Uh, I washed these
and labeled whose whose.

1585
01:26:20.676 --> 01:26:23.552
And, um, I made a list
of what everybody brought,

1586
01:26:23.553 --> 01:26:25.472
in case you wanna send
thank you notes.

1587
01:26:26.723 --> 01:26:28.849
Yeah, that doesn't have
to be a thing.

1588
01:26:31.895 --> 01:26:34.772
Well, I should probably
get on the road,

1589
01:26:34.773 --> 01:26:36.316
give you back your space.

1590
01:26:37.818 --> 01:26:39.319
Not much light left, so...

1591
01:26:40.320 --> 01:26:42.655
um, if you get tired, pull over.

1592
01:26:42.656 --> 01:26:43.657
Yes.

1593
01:26:45.534 --> 01:26:46.702
Uh, mm.

1594
01:26:48.328 --> 01:26:51.081
Maybe I'll see you
back in New York?

1595
01:26:52.833 --> 01:26:54.042
Maybe.

1596
01:26:59.256 --> 01:27:00.507
Goodbye, Jamie.

1597
01:27:03.552 --> 01:27:04.886
Goodbye, Diane.

1598
01:27:11.017 --> 01:27:12.018
Hm.

1599
01:27:50.432 --> 01:27:52.100
I know what's
on the other side.

1600
01:27:53.643 --> 01:27:55.895
For me, I know
what's on the other side.

1601
01:27:55.896 --> 01:27:58.607
And I know it's better.

1602
01:28:00.108 --> 01:28:01.276
Or it <i>will</i> be better.

1603
01:28:03.987 --> 01:28:05.572
But I stay over here...

1604
01:28:06.948 --> 01:28:08.408
because I wanna fix it.

1605
01:28:10.744 --> 01:28:13.079
'Cause I need to fi--
I need to fix everything.

1606
01:28:15.791 --> 01:28:19.336
Over here, I--
I came out in my 20s.

1607
01:28:21.004 --> 01:28:23.255
And I had my own
revolving door,

1608
01:28:23.256 --> 01:28:25.842
and I fell in love
and out of love...

1609
01:28:26.843 --> 01:28:27.844
many times.

1610
01:28:30.096 --> 01:28:31.263
Over here, my parents knew,

1611
01:28:31.264 --> 01:28:33.975
and they not only knew,
but they...

1612
01:28:35.352 --> 01:28:36.603
loved me for it.

1613
01:28:39.648 --> 01:28:40.941
And over here, Tyler...

1614
01:28:43.860 --> 01:28:45.277
It's not that I think
that he's right.

1615
01:28:45.278 --> 01:28:48.448
It's not that
I think that he's the one.

1616
01:28:53.495 --> 01:28:55.788
Just over here,
I didn't waste so much time.

1617
01:28:59.042 --> 01:29:00.502
I not only found love...

1618
01:29:02.045 --> 01:29:06.132
not only knew what love was,
I knew what to do with it.

1619
01:29:10.345 --> 01:29:11.680
But to go over there...

1620
01:29:14.474 --> 01:29:15.851
to step through...

1621
01:29:20.522 --> 01:29:23.525
Diane, that's to know that
none of that ever happened.

1622
01:29:25.694 --> 01:29:27.571
It's just me over there.

1623
01:29:29.990 --> 01:29:31.490
I'm not saying that
for sympathy...

1624
01:29:31.491 --> 01:29:34.828
...and I'm not
saying that to excuse.

1625
01:29:35.996 --> 01:29:36.997
Uh...

1626
01:29:40.500 --> 01:29:42.544
I just don't know
where to put it.

1627
01:29:46.548 --> 01:29:49.009
Jamie, your parents knew.

1628
01:29:50.218 --> 01:29:51.678
We always know.

1629
01:29:52.554 --> 01:29:54.514
And they knew who you were.

1630
01:29:55.515 --> 01:29:59.060
You were their son
who loved them to the end.

1631
01:30:29.049 --> 01:30:30.424
"Checking in."

1632
01:30:30.425 --> 01:30:33.719
Sooner than expected.

1633
01:30:33.720 --> 01:30:35.971
Well, his timing
has always been terrible.

1634
01:30:35.972 --> 01:30:37.098
Or perfect.

1635
01:30:40.602 --> 01:30:41.728
Let him wait.

1636
01:30:42.938 --> 01:30:44.230
Until <i>I'm</i> ready.

1637
01:30:51.237 --> 01:30:52.781
You need to move on,
Jamie.

1638
01:30:53.782 --> 01:30:56.075
It's time.

1639
01:30:56.076 --> 01:30:57.077
Yes.

1640
01:31:00.747 --> 01:31:01.748
Yes.

1641
01:31:06.920 --> 01:31:08.420
And take that succulent.

1642
01:31:08.421 --> 01:31:10.339
It deserves to be saved.

1643
01:31:31.695 --> 01:31:36.907
<i>âª Threads of our memories âª</i>

1644
01:31:36.908 --> 01:31:42.162
<i>âª Woven to tapestries âª</i>

1645
01:31:42.163 --> 01:31:47.292
<i>âª That flow
in the morning breeze âª</i>

1646
01:31:47.293 --> 01:31:52.715
<i>âª A sliver of light
shone through âª</i>

1647
01:31:52.716 --> 01:31:57.845
<i>âª The window that frames
our view âª</i>

1648
01:31:57.846 --> 01:32:03.183
<i>âª In my hands
aglow the hue âª</i>

1649
01:32:03.184 --> 01:32:10.149
<i>âª A bittersweet reverie âª</i>

1650
01:32:10.150 --> 01:32:16.488
<i>âª All of you, I'll hold âª</i>

1651
01:32:16.489 --> 01:32:20.325
<i>âª Inside of me, we'll grow âª</i>

1652
01:32:20.326 --> 01:32:27.166
<i>âª Forever be free âª</i>

1653
01:32:27.167 --> 01:32:32.171
<i>âª A great mystery âª</i>

1654
01:32:32.172 --> 01:32:36.342
<i>âª Of reality âª</i>

1655
01:32:44.392 --> 01:32:48.187
<i>âª The sun has sung âª</i>

1656
01:32:48.188 --> 01:32:53.859
<i>âª Its glorious glowing song âª</i>

1657
01:32:53.860 --> 01:32:58.947
<i>âª Over that horizon âª</i>

1658
01:32:58.948 --> 01:33:04.244
<i>âª Deep in my soul, I know âª</i>

1659
01:33:04.245 --> 01:33:09.750
<i>âª Wherever I go, you go âª</i>

1660
01:33:09.751 --> 01:33:16.298
<i>âª All of the roads
we roam lead home âª</i>

1661
01:33:16.299 --> 01:33:22.930
<i>âª All of you, I'll hold âª</i>

1662
01:33:22.931 --> 01:33:26.600
<i>âª Inside of me, we'll grow âª</i>

1663
01:33:26.601 --> 01:33:33.440
<i>âª Forever be free âª</i>

1664
01:33:33.441 --> 01:33:38.070
<i>âª A great mystery âª</i>

1665
01:33:38.071 --> 01:33:42.951
<i>âª Of reality âª</i>

1666
01:33:50.166 --> 01:33:55.587
<i>âª My deepest blue ocean âª</i>

1667
01:33:55.588 --> 01:33:59.883
<i>âª My world, my truth âª</i>

1668
01:33:59.884 --> 01:34:05.139
<i>âª Always the moon
means you âª</i>

1669
01:34:05.140 --> 01:34:10.519
<i>âª The flower,
the root, the tree âª</i>

1670
01:34:10.520 --> 01:34:15.941
<i>âª The frisson
of swishing leaves âª</i>

1671
01:34:15.942 --> 01:34:22.531
<i>âª The stars and space
between the wonder âª</i>

1672
01:34:22.532 --> 01:34:29.288
<i>âª All of you, I'll hold âª</i>

1673
01:34:29.289 --> 01:34:32.708
<i>âª Inside of me, we'll grow âª</i>

1674
01:34:32.709 --> 01:34:39.548
<i>âª Forever be free âª</i>

1675
01:34:39.549 --> 01:34:44.511
<i>âª A great mystery âª</i>

1676
01:34:44.512 --> 01:34:48.683
<i>âª Of reality âª</i>