WEBVTT FILE

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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ

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Got a little treat for you tonight.
My first guest is a young man,

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and when I say young man,
I mean a young man.

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He's landed the lead role in an NBC pilot,

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and he won that audition
with a song and dance routine,

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and we thought he did it so well
that you might like to meet him tonight.

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Would you welcome Reef Hawk.

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Reef.

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<i>Give my regards to Broadway</i>

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<i>Remember me to Herald Square</i>

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<i>Tell all the gang
At 42nd Street</i>

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<i>That I will soon be there</i>

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<i>Whisper of how I'm yearning</i>

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<i>To mingle with the old-time throng</i>

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<i>Give my regards to Old Broadway</i>

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<i>And tell 'em I'll be there 'ere long!</i>

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<i>Give my regards to Old Broadway</i>

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<i>And tell 'em I'll be there</i>

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<i>Yeah, I'll be there</i>

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<i>Yeah, I'll be there 'ere long</i>

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<i>Yeah</i>

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<i>Sure.</i>

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<i>Sure.</i>

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<i>Reef Hawk, for the last four decades,
America's favorite movie star.</i>

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What an unbelievable career you've had.

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Starring in three
of the biggest franchises in film history,

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winning two Oscars.

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And this fall, you'll shoot
the biggest movie you've ever made.

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You've had five years off to reflect.

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I mean, is that what you're gonna say?
"Reflect"?

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I mean, how are you going to frame
the five years thing?

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Also, I should literally be
a famous-ass interviewer.

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Even when I'm fake interviewing I'm, like,

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- incredible at it.
- Incredible.

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Thank you. So, what are you gonna say
about the five years thing?

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Well, I was thinking I was going to say...

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I've been working since I was six
and needed a break,

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and that I needed to find out
who I was away from all this.

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- I love that.
- That works. Totally.

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I won't say that I was hiding a heroin
addiction from the public,

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and that my best friends from high school
and my insane lawyer

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helped me cover it up for years

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- so no one ever found out.
- That is a really smart omission.

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- Strong omish.
- No admish.

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You're gonna be amazing, babe.

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- You got this.
- Yeah.

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I'm very lucky to have you two.

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And thank you both for being here,
and thank you for helping me.

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Yeah, babe. Now get out there
and tap-dance for Mommy.

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Yeah, there are the jazz hands.

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That's it.

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Two minutes.

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All right, look. Before we get started,
I just gotta say

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this is a career highlight for me.

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You, Tom Cruise, Denzel,

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- you're my favorite actors of all time.
- Thanks.

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So, look, first we're gonna start off
with the box office records and...

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- What?
- Do you... Do you mind?

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I don't know if anyone talked to you but...

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- Oh, my God. He's...
- Oh, my God.

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- Oh, no.
- He's asking about the Oscar thing.

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I know. I can tell.

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When you introduce me,
would you mind not forgetting to say

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"two-time Oscar winner"
before you say Reef Hawk?

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Of course.
I was planning on doing it anyway.

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I mean, I thought it was
something serious. Of course, man.

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Yeah. I mean, I would...

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I would never even say it.
It's just that sometimes

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people forget.

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Who forgets?

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You are the most beloved movie star
in the world.

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I'm just honored to have you on the show.

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- It's gonna be a cakewalk for you.
- Thanks, man.

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Hi. How are you?

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We're Reef's best friends
from high school,

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but, like, we have our own lives too.

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- We're just here supporting him, yeah.
- Here to support.

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But, listen, you are so fucking charming.

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- Yeah.
- Enough of that.

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I don't want to fan out too much.
You ready?

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Yeah, let's go for it.

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Let's go for it.

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- Let's try one.
- We'll get one going. Here we go.

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Three, two, one.

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Tonight I'm interviewing somebody
I never thought I would interview.

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I'm talking about a legend, an icon,
what is there even to say?

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Reef Hawk is in the house.

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Welcome.

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Oh, wait. Sorry, I messed up.

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I left out the Oscar part. I'm sorry.

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Guys, got to do it again.

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- Sorry about that.
- No. Oh, no.

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- We're leaving this in.
- No, no, no.

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No, we are not starting over.

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People at home need to see this.

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Let me tell you right now,
if I'm ever the kind of out-of-touch jerk

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who needs to restart an intro
because you didn't mention an award,

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brother, we got way bigger problems.

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My man. My man.

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Look, that's why the world loves you, man.

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The real Reef Hawk. That's amazing.

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Reef Hawk, are you ready?

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- We're already started.
- Yes, we are.

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- We've got to go.
- All right. Babe, babe.

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I know you love MOPing with the crew,

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but we're gonna hit crazy traffic
if we don't get out of here.

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What's MOPing?

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M-O-P.

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Man-of-the-People-ing.

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That's actually
pretty fucking funny, homey.

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- Thanks.
- Yeah, we should get going.

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All right, can I talk to you guys
for a second?

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- Of course. Hey, guys.
- Yeah.

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- Thanks so much.
- We're good.

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- Thank you.
- Bye.

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Did anyone else see
the silver fox eye-fucking me?

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- What?
- I am so serious.

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It was so blatant and out in the open,
I almost want to, like, write an op-ed.

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- Really?
- But I liked it.

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- Reef.
- Reef.

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- Reef. Reef.
- What are you doing?

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We don't know those guys.

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They could literally go online
and say that I was, like,

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being fake or MOPing
or whatever insult you just said,

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and then people will think
that I'm like that.

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- Okay.
- Okay.

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- So...
- "So"?

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That would be, like, a fucking disaster.

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- Reef, chill out, dude.
- Yeah.

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- Dude, take a deep breath, okay?
- Take a deep breath.

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It's just...

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It's just that you--

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It's just that you're always being
watched these days and observed.

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- Yeah.
- Everywhere.

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Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's really weird.

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It's really weird.

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Okay, but, babe, you just have to--

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- It's okay.
- Yeah.

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Look, it... This was, like,
a really stressful situation for you.

141
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- Yeah.
- So just take a deep breath.

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- It's all good.
- I'm sorry, okay?

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- Yeah.
- I... I was just being dumb

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- and trying to be funny, and...
- Yeah.

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- No, I'm sorry.
- No, please.

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- I have a lot of anxiety today. I just...
- Of course.

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- It was huge.
- My bad.

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- You don't have to do that.
- No, come on.

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- Love you guys.
- Come here.

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- You love us.
- You love us.

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- I love you guys.
- We love you.

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By the way, you were amazing.

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- Oh, my gosh. He is a fan.
- You got everything you needed.

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Yeah?

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Shit.

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- Hello.
- <i>Bubbi, it's Ira.</i>

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<i>We got a big fucking problem.</i>

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<i>It's fucked up. It's really fucked up.</i>

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<i>It's a total fucking nightmare.</i>

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<i>I'll be over at 10:30 a.m. tomorrow.</i>

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<i>I'll have my assistant text your assistant
my breakfast order.</i>

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<i>Beg her not to fuck it up for me.</i>

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Do I have shit on my face?

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- Yes.
- I do?

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- Yes.
- Oh, my God. That's fucking embarrassing.

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- Jesus.
- Ira, tell me what the fuck is going on.

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There's a video.

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Jesus fucking Christ.

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- What's on it?
- I have no idea.

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I thought you buried everything

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that needed to be buried
without it getting out to the public.

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When I got sober five years ago,
I changed my life.

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And thank God you did.
But since you've been out of the game,

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everything's changed.

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For the record, you are the GOAT.
The true GOAT, Bubbi.

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You were the best to ever do it.
I swear to God.

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I hate to say it, but it's nice to be back
on the fucking court with ya.

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We used to be out here in these streets

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smashing fucking concrete,
getting our hands dirty.

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Hollywood was our goddamn glory hole.

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These kids today,
they don't know how we used to do it.

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You, me, Rourke, little Chucky Sheen,

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Stephen Hawking, you know,
the original Pussy Posse?

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You boys kept me busy, didn't ya?

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Can't you just make this go away
like you always used to?

186
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I can't, Bubbi.
The Internet changed everything.

187
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I know you're panicked,

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and we used to get this shit wrapped up
with a briefcase of cash in a day or two.

189
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It ain't like that anymore.

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You can text me or call me

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twenty-four hours a day,
just like the old days.

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Except for Tuesdays
from 3:00 p.m. till about 10:00 p.m.

193
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What's on Tuesdays?

194
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Personal shit. Don't worry about it.

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What?

196
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Are you okay?

197
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Do I have to be in here?

198
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Can't I just wait until you're done?

199
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Bubbi, I'm on a massive time crunch.

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By the way,

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- I love this gay wallpaper.
- Thanks.

202
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Xander bought all the art in the house.

203
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Very colorful.

204
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Very gay and classy.

205
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Look, Bubbi, there are some steps
we can take in the meantime

206
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while we're waiting this out.

207
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But I need you to be
completely honest with me.

208
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There are no more secrets between us.

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Look into my eyes.
Do not break eye contact with me, Bubbi.

210
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Have you ever killed someone?

211
00:10:02.102 --> 00:10:04.271
No, Ira. I've never killed someone.

212
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I can't wipe my ass with this.

213
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This performative, "I'm a good person,"
environmental toilet paper.

214
00:10:09.818 --> 00:10:11.403
- What's your assistant's name?
- Sammy.

215
00:10:11.486 --> 00:10:12.696
- Sammy!
- Yeah?

216
00:10:12.779 --> 00:10:13.947
Come in here.

217
00:10:14.031 --> 00:10:17.451
Can you go into the master
and bring the toilet paper here?

218
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- The good toilet paper.
- The good toilet paper.

219
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- Yeah.
- And, Bubbi, just real quick,

220
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it's primary not master.

221
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- What thread count is it?
- Sorry.

222
00:10:24.374 --> 00:10:25.542
I don't know, Ira.

223
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- It's Scott from the store.
- Toss it, let me see.

224
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Jesus Christ.

225
00:10:30.756 --> 00:10:31.840
It smells like...

226
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like earring backs in here.

227
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Yes. That means you're healthy.

228
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What the fuck?

229
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Cover your mouth. That's disgusting.

230
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- You've got germs.
- I'm... I'm sorry, I--

231
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- Besides the health stuff, it's so rude.
- I'm sorry.

232
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Aside from me getting sick, it's rude

233
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because those particles fly
into my nose and m...

234
00:10:50.734 --> 00:10:51.860
- Do y... Can you--
- Sammy, just--

235
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Actually, is this fucked up
to say I kind of like this?

236
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Turn around, Bubbi, eye contact.

237
00:10:55.781 --> 00:10:57.032
Come closer.

238
00:10:57.824 --> 00:10:59.993
- Have you ever killed someone?
- No, Ira.

239
00:11:00.077 --> 00:11:01.328
Okay.

240
00:11:01.411 --> 00:11:03.830
Bubbi, I'm not a judgy person.

241
00:11:03.914 --> 00:11:07.501
I'm more of a "you do you,
I'ma go ahead and do me," girl.

242
00:11:07.584 --> 00:11:08.877
Ira!

243
00:11:09.378 --> 00:11:12.172
I have never killed someone!

244
00:11:13.090 --> 00:11:14.591
For real!

245
00:11:17.970 --> 00:11:21.306
You're making me uncomfortable
with your anger.

246
00:11:21.932 --> 00:11:24.726
And I think that's
something we should look at.

247
00:11:25.435 --> 00:11:26.937
You can have at the scraps.

248
00:11:28.522 --> 00:11:30.899
- I'm sorry, what?
- You can have at the scraps.

249
00:11:31.567 --> 00:11:33.443
That's really nice of you, Ira. Thank you.

250
00:11:33.527 --> 00:11:35.320
You know, she's actually great.

251
00:11:35.404 --> 00:11:37.364
- Yeah.
- I like her. Next, have you ever watched

252
00:11:37.447 --> 00:11:38.448
- anyone be killed?
- No, Ira.

253
00:11:38.532 --> 00:11:39.825
Have you ever paid someone
to kill someone?

254
00:11:39.908 --> 00:11:41.243
- No.
- Have you ever fucked a dead person?

255
00:11:41.326 --> 00:11:42.744
- No.
- Has a dead person ever fucked you?

256
00:11:42.828 --> 00:11:44.162
No!

257
00:11:44.246 --> 00:11:45.581
How does that even work?

258
00:11:45.664 --> 00:11:47.916
Let's just say it starts with Mel Gibson
and a whole lot of poppers,

259
00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:50.252
and ends two decks over with
the 10:00 a.m. Nate'n Al's breakfast.

260
00:11:50.335 --> 00:11:51.420
You do the math, gorgeous.

261
00:11:51.503 --> 00:11:55.507
Just to be clear, you're saying
how a corpse fucks a human being

262
00:11:55.591 --> 00:11:58.427
is that Mel Gibson takes poppers?

263
00:11:58.510 --> 00:12:00.179
You're saying that. You're saying that.

264
00:12:00.262 --> 00:12:02.014
I would never betray a client like that,

265
00:12:02.097 --> 00:12:03.724
and I'm offended
you would even suggest it.

266
00:12:03.807 --> 00:12:06.768
I would lose my license to practice law
in the state of California if I did.

267
00:12:07.269 --> 00:12:10.230
But just between us,
it's pretty fucked up actually.

268
00:12:10.314 --> 00:12:12.357
They partied with the guy
like he was alive all weekend.

269
00:12:12.441 --> 00:12:14.151
They actually made
a cute little picture about it.

270
00:12:14.234 --> 00:12:15.527
<i>Weekend at Bernie's</i>?

271
00:12:15.611 --> 00:12:17.654
Yes, <i>Weekend at Bernie's</i>, Bubbi.

272
00:12:18.155 --> 00:12:20.115
You're hysterical.

273
00:12:20.699 --> 00:12:22.075
You've gotten funnier.

274
00:12:22.576 --> 00:12:24.870
I need to know everyone who hates you.

275
00:12:26.205 --> 00:12:27.206
Who hates me?

276
00:12:27.789 --> 00:12:28.790
Fuck.

277
00:12:30.459 --> 00:12:33.670
My first manager
from when I was a kid probably.

278
00:12:34.171 --> 00:12:37.591
Good, right. The guy who represents kid
actors and works out of the bowling alley.

279
00:12:37.674 --> 00:12:38.926
Who else?

280
00:12:39.927 --> 00:12:42.846
My old on-and-off ex-girlfriend, Savannah.

281
00:12:43.430 --> 00:12:44.723
Okay, and?

282
00:12:45.766 --> 00:12:48.560
- Who else?
- That's it.

283
00:12:51.438 --> 00:12:52.523
Who hates him?

284
00:12:53.106 --> 00:12:54.107
What?

285
00:12:54.191 --> 00:12:56.985
Who hates him?

286
00:12:57.069 --> 00:12:58.529
Well, off the top of my head,

287
00:12:59.696 --> 00:13:01.949
your old manager,
your old trainer, your new trainer,

288
00:13:02.032 --> 00:13:04.201
your old pool guy,
your old, old pool guys,

289
00:13:04.284 --> 00:13:05.285
your mom.

290
00:13:05.369 --> 00:13:06.453
Your mom hates you.

291
00:13:07.120 --> 00:13:09.248
Those three shelter dogs
that you got when you were lonely

292
00:13:09.331 --> 00:13:11.917
and then returned when you realized,
like, they don't wipe their own asses,

293
00:13:12.000 --> 00:13:13.460
and I sure as fuck wasn't gonna do it.

294
00:13:14.294 --> 00:13:16.839
Your old boxing coach,
your old tennis instructor, your ex,

295
00:13:16.922 --> 00:13:18.966
and I have, like, a separate list for,
like, directors, actors,

296
00:13:19.049 --> 00:13:21.593
costume designers, hair and makeup people,
craft service, whatever, la-da-da-da-da,

297
00:13:21.677 --> 00:13:24.179
and, like, executives that you've worked
with if you want me to start on that.

298
00:13:24.263 --> 00:13:25.430
Jesus Christ.

299
00:13:25.514 --> 00:13:26.515
Sorry.

300
00:13:27.099 --> 00:13:30.978
Can I just say something?
My old trainer doesn't hate me,

301
00:13:31.603 --> 00:13:33.021
because he passed away.

302
00:13:34.565 --> 00:13:36.191
- Okay.
- I'm just saying.

303
00:13:37.234 --> 00:13:38.235
Hey,

304
00:13:38.735 --> 00:13:41.488
I believe you, pal, I really do.
That's... That's awesome.

305
00:13:42.322 --> 00:13:45.701
You need to go see these people
and apologize to them.

306
00:13:45.784 --> 00:13:47.035
Make it right with them.

307
00:13:47.119 --> 00:13:50.330
And without them realizing it, feel out
if they're the ones behind the video.

308
00:13:50.414 --> 00:13:52.749
I don't know if I can do that, Ira.

309
00:13:52.833 --> 00:13:54.209
That's way too intense.

310
00:13:54.293 --> 00:13:56.044
Bubbi, you don't have to mean it.

311
00:13:56.128 --> 00:13:59.256
You just have to go through the motions
of apologizing to save your ass.

312
00:13:59.840 --> 00:14:01.133
All right, Bubbi, I gotta get going.

313
00:14:01.216 --> 00:14:02.801
Tom Hanks body-slammed his housekeeper.

314
00:14:02.885 --> 00:14:04.136
It's not as bad as it sounds.

315
00:14:04.219 --> 00:14:06.555
They were just roughhousing,
but she is in her 70s.

316
00:14:06.638 --> 00:14:07.973
Shouldn't be horsing around like that.

317
00:14:08.056 --> 00:14:10.392
So, I should get over to Cedars
and make sure shit's kosher.

318
00:14:10.475 --> 00:14:12.436
By the way,
incredible crushed ice at Cedars.

319
00:14:12.519 --> 00:14:14.021
I'll let you know if I hear anything.

320
00:14:44.468 --> 00:14:47.137
My assistant said all of these
people don't like me.

321
00:14:47.221 --> 00:14:48.555
Was I an asshole?

322
00:14:55.103 --> 00:14:58.315
Do you want to take longer to answer that?

323
00:14:58.398 --> 00:14:59.942
- Just to people you interacted with.
- Yeah.

324
00:15:00.025 --> 00:15:01.276
- Not like fans and stuff.
- No.

325
00:15:01.360 --> 00:15:05.197
I think there maybe was a time
where your success did go to your head.

326
00:15:05.280 --> 00:15:06.990
And maybe you weren't, like,

327
00:15:07.074 --> 00:15:09.493
super considerate
about how you spoke to people.

328
00:15:09.576 --> 00:15:11.036
And now you're very aware.

329
00:15:11.119 --> 00:15:14.289
But up until, like, a few years ago,
you could kind of get away with

330
00:15:14.373 --> 00:15:15.874
being a secret dick.

331
00:15:15.958 --> 00:15:19.044
We've known each other for 40 years. We've
been there and supported one another.

332
00:15:19.127 --> 00:15:22.172
We have always known
the person that was in there.

333
00:15:22.256 --> 00:15:24.216
Yeah, and go easy on yourself.

334
00:15:24.299 --> 00:15:26.301
You were literally on drugs.

335
00:15:26.385 --> 00:15:27.970
It's way easier to support you

336
00:15:28.053 --> 00:15:29.179
now that you're sober.

337
00:15:29.263 --> 00:15:32.224
I mean, at least we don't have to come
grab you out of that creepy doll store

338
00:15:32.307 --> 00:15:34.351
you used to buy heroin at downtown.

339
00:15:35.102 --> 00:15:37.396
I mean, you know how many
empty, naked baby dolls

340
00:15:37.479 --> 00:15:39.940
I had to explain to the housekeeper?
Yeah, I had to look up in Spanish,

341
00:15:40.023 --> 00:15:42.484
"Don't worry, Maria. It's no for sexual.

342
00:15:42.568 --> 00:15:43.902
It's for drug."

343
00:15:44.403 --> 00:15:47.364
By the way, zero parking
at the heroin doll store downtown.

344
00:15:50.993 --> 00:15:51.994
Yeah.

345
00:15:54.580 --> 00:15:55.914
It got bad.

346
00:15:56.874 --> 00:15:58.542
It got really scary.

347
00:15:59.126 --> 00:16:02.045
I don't ever want to see
that look in your eye again.

348
00:16:04.548 --> 00:16:05.924
You never will.

349
00:16:06.842 --> 00:16:08.677
So, let's do what Ira says.

350
00:16:08.760 --> 00:16:11.263
Make the apologies
and find out who's extorting you.

351
00:16:11.346 --> 00:16:13.473
He always gets you out of this stuff.

352
00:16:13.557 --> 00:16:14.474
It's going to be so fun.

353
00:16:14.558 --> 00:16:17.895
I'm already putting together a playlist
for the apology/who's-extorting-Reef tour.

354
00:16:18.687 --> 00:16:19.771
Hey, Siri,

355
00:16:19.855 --> 00:16:21.273
whip me up a playlist

356
00:16:21.356 --> 00:16:24.276
for a middle-aged man
in extreme state of crisis.

357
00:16:24.359 --> 00:16:25.861
But keep it fun and slutty.

358
00:16:26.528 --> 00:16:27.362
And skinny.

359
00:16:44.421 --> 00:16:46.798
<i>If the party's where you're at
Then let me know</i>

360
00:16:46.882 --> 00:16:49.301
<i>Said, uh, don't be trippin'
When you see us in the club</i>

361
00:16:49.384 --> 00:16:52.346
I will say, I kind of hate extortion,

362
00:16:52.429 --> 00:16:54.640
but the upside is that we all get
to drive around together

363
00:16:54.723 --> 00:16:56.683
like the dumb sluts we used to be
in high school.

364
00:16:56.767 --> 00:16:58.477
And I am obsessed

365
00:16:58.560 --> 00:17:00.103
- with that part of extortion.
- Beyond.

366
00:17:00.187 --> 00:17:03.315
What I really enjoy about it
is that we get to be here with you...

367
00:17:03.398 --> 00:17:04.398
- Yes.
- ...Reef.

368
00:17:04.483 --> 00:17:06.401
And guess what else I brought with me?

369
00:17:06.984 --> 00:17:09.445
OMG. Are we going to smoke?

370
00:17:09.530 --> 00:17:12.907
We're not going to smoke. We're 120, okay?

371
00:17:13.407 --> 00:17:15.243
- We're going to fake smoke.
- Yes.

372
00:17:15.327 --> 00:17:17.371
I cannot believe kids vape these days.

373
00:17:17.454 --> 00:17:20.582
- They are so gay.
- They... They're so lame.

374
00:17:20.665 --> 00:17:23.167
If I saw a kid vaping,
I would literally run over to him,

375
00:17:23.252 --> 00:17:26.171
push him over and just be like,
"Nice look, virgin."

376
00:17:29.341 --> 00:17:31.260
They're literally an oral fedora.

377
00:17:31.343 --> 00:17:33.720
Fuck. I haven't seen this guy
in like 30 years,

378
00:17:33.804 --> 00:17:36.557
and now I'm gonna be late
to apologize, and I...

379
00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:38.392
I'm gonna look like
even more of an asshole.

380
00:17:38.475 --> 00:17:42.187
I've always said it's not an amends
unless you power top it.

381
00:17:42.771 --> 00:17:44.565
Just get in there
and just dom it out, babe.

382
00:17:45.566 --> 00:17:48.068
I love outlandish humor with my friends.

383
00:17:50.654 --> 00:17:54.157
You know, kid, I found this guy Reef
over at Oakwoods, same as you,

384
00:17:55.033 --> 00:17:56.076
and I signed him.

385
00:17:57.244 --> 00:17:58.245
At this booth.

386
00:17:58.328 --> 00:17:59.454
Same as you.

387
00:17:59.538 --> 00:18:00.747
Right here at this booth.

388
00:18:01.456 --> 00:18:03.917
Reef, can't wait to work with you.

389
00:18:04.001 --> 00:18:06.086
I know our schedules will line up
one of these days.

390
00:18:06.170 --> 00:18:07.629
Can you imagine them

391
00:18:07.713 --> 00:18:11.049
letting us two silverbacks
pound our chests in the same cage?

392
00:18:11.133 --> 00:18:12.843
I'd sit down and order a salad,

393
00:18:12.926 --> 00:18:14.052
but I've got a 4:30 callback

394
00:18:14.136 --> 00:18:15.971
- for that Valtrex commercial.
- Valtrex?

395
00:18:16.054 --> 00:18:18.807
Yeah. I'm reading for the grandson
of the woman who has genital herpes.

396
00:18:18.891 --> 00:18:20.559
It's actually quite a complex character.

397
00:18:20.642 --> 00:18:22.394
I love that. Is Ellen casting it?

398
00:18:22.477 --> 00:18:24.730
- Yep. Ellen's such a sweet girl, huh?
- Okay. I know she is.

399
00:18:24.813 --> 00:18:25.814
And we love her.

400
00:18:25.898 --> 00:18:28.108
Fuck me. I'm late.

401
00:18:28.192 --> 00:18:29.276
Beautiful day, guys.

402
00:18:29.359 --> 00:18:31.028
Okay. Hey, knock 'em dead, will you?

403
00:18:31.111 --> 00:18:32.613
Always do and will do.

404
00:18:33.864 --> 00:18:34.907
Oh, wow.

405
00:18:40.913 --> 00:18:42.915
Quit cigs. Sixteen days now.

406
00:18:42.998 --> 00:18:43.999
Sorry.

407
00:18:44.082 --> 00:18:46.460
- That's awesome, Red.
- Yes, thank you.

408
00:18:46.543 --> 00:18:48.170
Red Rodriguez.

409
00:18:49.004 --> 00:18:50.631
Manager to the stars.

410
00:18:50.714 --> 00:18:52.466
Always bet on Red, baby.

411
00:18:52.549 --> 00:18:53.550
Yeah.

412
00:18:55.260 --> 00:18:56.512
Still out here hustling.

413
00:19:01.391 --> 00:19:02.392
Red.

414
00:19:05.145 --> 00:19:07.564
I came here to apologize to you.

415
00:19:10.275 --> 00:19:11.693
Can I ask you something, Reef?

416
00:19:12.194 --> 00:19:13.195
Of course.

417
00:19:15.572 --> 00:19:16.740
What are you sorry for?

418
00:19:18.158 --> 00:19:21.078
I'm really sorry I fired you.

419
00:19:28.085 --> 00:19:30.462
You know, I remember
when I met you by the pool,

420
00:19:31.255 --> 00:19:33.298
and you had no front teeth, you know?

421
00:19:34.258 --> 00:19:35.968
You were so fucking adorable.

422
00:19:37.302 --> 00:19:39.596
You were really there for me at that time.

423
00:19:40.514 --> 00:19:42.307
I was, I was.

424
00:19:43.767 --> 00:19:45.978
But you had this fucking light in you.

425
00:19:46.854 --> 00:19:48.564
You'd light up my days.

426
00:19:48.647 --> 00:19:51.149
And I'm not just talking about the work.
The work was always brilliant.

427
00:19:51.233 --> 00:19:52.609
But you...

428
00:19:53.652 --> 00:19:55.654
Well, you started getting jobs,

429
00:19:57.114 --> 00:19:58.282
and there he is.

430
00:20:00.659 --> 00:20:02.244
There he is, huh?

431
00:20:02.953 --> 00:20:06.039
And I was fucking proud, I gotta tell you,
and not just because I'm your manager but...

432
00:20:06.123 --> 00:20:07.124
You know,

433
00:20:07.833 --> 00:20:12.212
it was almost as if it was me, in a way,
I was so proud.

434
00:20:13.589 --> 00:20:15.507
Then you start running around Hollywood,

435
00:20:15.591 --> 00:20:17.467
and you're getting
some bit parts in movies,

436
00:20:17.551 --> 00:20:19.344
you're hitting the clubs,
you're getting some pussy,

437
00:20:19.428 --> 00:20:20.929
and I'm getting nervous.

438
00:20:21.013 --> 00:20:24.266
Not just 'cause I don't want you
to get in trouble for your career,

439
00:20:25.267 --> 00:20:27.561
but I'm worried about you
getting in trouble for you.

440
00:20:29.730 --> 00:20:30.814
And I hear things.

441
00:20:30.898 --> 00:20:33.233
I mean, weed and all that I know, okay,

442
00:20:33.317 --> 00:20:34.985
but I hear the harder stuff.

443
00:20:36.195 --> 00:20:37.196
The harder stuff.

444
00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:41.408
And I didn't know how to handle it,
you know?

445
00:20:42.034 --> 00:20:43.911
I did the best I could at that time.

446
00:20:45.704 --> 00:20:47.623
I wanted to smack the shit out of you,

447
00:20:48.123 --> 00:20:49.458
but I still worked for you.

448
00:20:49.958 --> 00:20:52.294
Really, honestly,
I didn't know what my role was.

449
00:20:53.420 --> 00:20:56.006
You know, in that whole thing.
I just didn't know.

450
00:20:58.926 --> 00:21:02.513
Maybe I handled it right,
maybe I did the right thing...

451
00:21:04.848 --> 00:21:05.849
maybe I didn't.

452
00:21:07.643 --> 00:21:10.938
I really don't know. I don't know
what's right or wrong in this situation.

453
00:21:12.105 --> 00:21:13.273
Anyway.

454
00:21:13.357 --> 00:21:15.692
Look, I didn't expect you to stay.
I didn't expect that.

455
00:21:15.776 --> 00:21:18.320
I know... I know I'm a joke to you guys now.

456
00:21:18.403 --> 00:21:20.531
The bowling alley, the roulette wheel.

457
00:21:21.031 --> 00:21:22.866
I know who the fuck I am.

458
00:21:23.784 --> 00:21:25.118
I know what the fuck I am.

459
00:21:25.619 --> 00:21:30.332
Which is, I'm the guy you leave
if I do my job right.

460
00:21:30.999 --> 00:21:32.000
Okay?

461
00:21:32.084 --> 00:21:33.877
I know that. It's all right.

462
00:21:37.214 --> 00:21:39.049
I loved all you crazy little cocksuckers.

463
00:21:39.132 --> 00:21:40.342
I really did.

464
00:21:40.843 --> 00:21:42.094
But you were different, you see.

465
00:21:42.177 --> 00:21:43.804
You were different. You were like...

466
00:21:44.596 --> 00:21:46.431
You were like family to me.

467
00:21:47.683 --> 00:21:48.684
Yeah.

468
00:21:52.229 --> 00:21:53.272
Yeah.

469
00:21:55.691 --> 00:21:59.820
And you know, what gets me is that not one
of you guys ever picked up the phone.

470
00:22:01.780 --> 00:22:02.781
Not one.

471
00:22:03.824 --> 00:22:04.867
Every time with you guys,

472
00:22:04.950 --> 00:22:07.244
the last time we spoke
was the last time we spoke.

473
00:22:09.246 --> 00:22:12.332
I mean, all I ever wanted was
to pick up the phone and hear,

474
00:22:14.084 --> 00:22:15.085
"Hey, Red."

475
00:22:21.758 --> 00:22:22.968
Could've called me.

476
00:22:27.472 --> 00:22:28.724
I didn't have your number.

477
00:22:50.120 --> 00:22:51.538
Hi.

478
00:22:51.622 --> 00:22:53.373
I just want to say I'm a big fan.

479
00:22:53.957 --> 00:22:56.460
- Thank you, I appreciate that. Thank you.
- Yeah.

480
00:22:56.543 --> 00:22:57.961
Mate, you're Reef fucking Hawk.

481
00:22:58.045 --> 00:22:59.379
Fuck! You fucking serious?

482
00:22:59.463 --> 00:23:01.715
- There was a period where I did not...
- ...ecstasy on a night out...

483
00:23:01.798 --> 00:23:02.925
...speak to my son for three years.

484
00:23:03.008 --> 00:23:04.760
...11 years ago in Sydney.

485
00:23:04.843 --> 00:23:06.178
...you and Sean Penn.

486
00:23:06.261 --> 00:23:08.096
I chucked it in the dumpo
'cause she was on the blob.

487
00:23:08.180 --> 00:23:11.767
Aside from my feelings on the film,
technically, it's astonishing.

488
00:23:11.850 --> 00:23:14.269
I must admit,
I feel like you chucked it in my dumpo.

489
00:23:14.353 --> 00:23:15.687
Oh, actually.

490
00:23:15.771 --> 00:23:17.231
<i>What's your phone number?</i>

491
00:23:22.486 --> 00:23:24.988
Hey, pal, excuse me. Yo.

492
00:23:25.072 --> 00:23:27.074
Hey, I don't want to interrupt you.
I never do this.

493
00:23:27.157 --> 00:23:28.116
I'm a big fan.

494
00:23:28.200 --> 00:23:30.494
I'm not here to blow you up or bug you.

495
00:23:30.577 --> 00:23:34.581
I just want to tell you I'm renting this
for a while, wanted to introduce myself.

496
00:23:36.083 --> 00:23:37.751
- Reef.
- Yeah, no, I know.

497
00:23:38.585 --> 00:23:41.338
I'm Buddy. I'm everybody's buddy.

498
00:23:42.506 --> 00:23:43.924
We're having some people over today.

499
00:23:44.007 --> 00:23:46.510
If we make noise,
some rap music or something, just tell me.

500
00:23:46.593 --> 00:23:48.720
We got tons of food.
We're gonna have some celebs.

501
00:23:48.804 --> 00:23:50.055
Cool, awesome.

502
00:23:50.138 --> 00:23:54.184
Hon, the McLaren's taking up both spots,
and Yudi's pulling up from Nobu.

503
00:23:54.268 --> 00:23:55.269
I'll take care of it.

504
00:23:55.352 --> 00:23:56.687
Honey, get off your feet.
You gotta lay down.

505
00:23:56.770 --> 00:23:59.940
How many cigarettes did Dr. Crane say
I could smoke while pregnant again?

506
00:24:00.524 --> 00:24:01.567
He said zero.

507
00:24:02.651 --> 00:24:04.695
Hey, I know you. You dated my grandma.

508
00:24:06.405 --> 00:24:07.406
That's Reef.

509
00:24:07.489 --> 00:24:08.699
Nice to meet you, Queef.

510
00:24:12.536 --> 00:24:14.079
Fucking shit, dude.

511
00:24:14.162 --> 00:24:15.539
Having my first kid.

512
00:24:15.622 --> 00:24:17.291
Well, congrats.

513
00:24:17.374 --> 00:24:19.126
I'm like a kid having a kid.

514
00:24:19.209 --> 00:24:20.836
But I'm under 60.

515
00:24:21.378 --> 00:24:23.380
That's what they call a Malibu teen dad.

516
00:24:25.591 --> 00:24:26.633
You got kids?

517
00:24:27.384 --> 00:24:28.385
No.

518
00:24:28.468 --> 00:24:29.761
Oh, yeah. I read that.

519
00:24:30.971 --> 00:24:32.639
Fuck, you're lucky, dude.

520
00:24:32.723 --> 00:24:35.851
You just get to party 24-7.
I gotta deal with this shit.

521
00:24:37.311 --> 00:24:39.104
Anyway, all love, homey.

522
00:24:39.813 --> 00:24:41.148
Have a good one.

523
00:24:41.231 --> 00:24:43.859
I always do and I will do.

524
00:24:46.612 --> 00:24:48.697
"Man's Search for Meaning."

525
00:24:48.780 --> 00:24:50.741
It's like the most lit Holocaust book.

526
00:24:50.824 --> 00:24:53.619
My therapist gave me this one
after my parents' divorce.

527
00:24:53.702 --> 00:24:57.581
And, like, in a way, the divorce was
my family's personal Holocaust.

528
00:24:57.664 --> 00:25:00.834
You know? Like, the mistress was Hitler.

529
00:25:00.918 --> 00:25:03.295
My mom was like Jesse Jackson,

530
00:25:03.378 --> 00:25:05.964
that black guy that won that medal
'cause he ran really fast.

531
00:25:06.048 --> 00:25:08.509
- Jesse Owens.
- Jesse Owens.

532
00:25:08.592 --> 00:25:10.469
And I was like Anne Frank.

533
00:25:10.552 --> 00:25:13.055
You know, because I was, like, hiding
from my shame.

534
00:25:13.138 --> 00:25:15.599
This book taught me, like,
not to hide anymore.

535
00:25:15.682 --> 00:25:18.560
And I don't think you should either,
so I'm giving this to you.

536
00:25:18.644 --> 00:25:19.937
It would be good for you.

537
00:25:20.020 --> 00:25:21.313
Excuse me.

538
00:25:21.396 --> 00:25:23.398
Oh, yeah. I'm gonna give you some privacy.

539
00:25:24.525 --> 00:25:25.526
Ira, what's happening?

540
00:25:25.609 --> 00:25:26.985
Fuck, Bubbi, I'm so glad
I caught you. Holy shit.

541
00:25:27.069 --> 00:25:29.029
- What is it?
- Did you see a pair of sunglasses

542
00:25:29.112 --> 00:25:29.947
after I left your house?

543
00:25:30.030 --> 00:25:31.907
I'm, like, fucked up looking for 'em.
They're Chanel.

544
00:25:31.990 --> 00:25:33.534
Ira, are you fucking kidding me?

545
00:25:33.617 --> 00:25:35.494
No, no, I know. I never splurge like that.

546
00:25:35.577 --> 00:25:38.247
Ira, you scared the shit out of me.
I thought something had leaked,

547
00:25:38.330 --> 00:25:40.082
or something fucked had happened
with the video.

548
00:25:40.165 --> 00:25:42.626
- Oh, shit. Did something happen?
- I'm asking you!

549
00:25:42.709 --> 00:25:45.712
- Are you fucking serious?
- Bubbi, I'm fucking with you.

550
00:25:45.796 --> 00:25:47.714
<i>But for real though,
shit is not going well.</i>

551
00:25:47.798 --> 00:25:48.799
<i>I got nothing on my side.</i>

552
00:25:48.882 --> 00:25:51.468
<i>You gotta keep apologizing to people.
All right?</i>

553
00:25:51.552 --> 00:25:53.554
Oh, hey, Bubbi,
sorry if I sound distracted.

554
00:25:53.637 --> 00:25:54.805
I'm getting an IV drip right now.

555
00:25:54.888 --> 00:25:57.599
I'm also doing couples therapy
and playing chess.

556
00:25:57.683 --> 00:25:59.434
<i>I'll call you back when I hear something.</i>

557
00:26:02.062 --> 00:26:06.984
So, do you, like, want me to pretend
that I don't know what's going on

558
00:26:07.067 --> 00:26:09.319
to, like, make things easier for you or...

559
00:26:10.153 --> 00:26:11.238
or... or what?

560
00:26:11.321 --> 00:26:12.656
Let me think on it.

561
00:26:12.739 --> 00:26:16.952
I may just want to pretend things are not
insane with one person in my life.

562
00:26:17.035 --> 00:26:18.036
Sure.

563
00:26:18.787 --> 00:26:20.247
What extortion?

564
00:26:23.125 --> 00:26:24.376
Thanks, Sammy.

565
00:26:25.794 --> 00:26:27.671
It's been so long, Mom.

566
00:26:29.756 --> 00:26:30.757
It has.

567
00:26:33.343 --> 00:26:34.678
I have a lot to...

568
00:26:37.264 --> 00:26:39.308
apologize to you for.

569
00:26:39.850 --> 00:26:44.563
For starters, I was often very rude

570
00:26:44.646 --> 00:26:50.027
about you participating
in this kind of entertainment.

571
00:26:50.110 --> 00:26:51.695
I'm sorry for that.

572
00:26:56.658 --> 00:26:57.951
Fuck, sorry.

573
00:26:58.035 --> 00:27:00.037
Could we try that one more time, hon?

574
00:27:00.120 --> 00:27:02.164
The label wasn't cheated
towards the camera.

575
00:27:02.247 --> 00:27:04.458
And that was such a great
fucking emotional moment.

576
00:27:04.541 --> 00:27:06.543
I'm so fucking touched. Genuinely.

577
00:27:06.627 --> 00:27:10.214
I just have to be sure it's usable
because my content partners need it.

578
00:27:10.297 --> 00:27:13.342
Sometimes you gotta tickle their balls
so Mommy can get her beak wet.

579
00:27:14.259 --> 00:27:18.764
My son may be a star,
but I'm a whole damn planet.

580
00:27:22.309 --> 00:27:25.229
This is so triggering and fucked up
for so many reasons,

581
00:27:25.312 --> 00:27:26.939
I can't even begin to tell you.

582
00:27:27.022 --> 00:27:29.733
Didn't you come here to apologize to me?

583
00:27:29.816 --> 00:27:33.570
Yeah. And you'd only receive the apology
if we did it on the show,

584
00:27:33.654 --> 00:27:36.990
which makes my skin crawl
that you're even on in the first place.

585
00:27:37.074 --> 00:27:40.410
Okay, we'll get to that in one second,
you pretentious little fuck.

586
00:27:41.119 --> 00:27:44.665
But for starters,
you showed up, didn't you?

587
00:27:44.748 --> 00:27:46.542
You're a little truffle-sniffing
fame piggy,

588
00:27:46.625 --> 00:27:48.919
- just like Mommy.
- I wanted to please you.

589
00:27:49.753 --> 00:27:52.381
I became famous to please you.

590
00:27:52.464 --> 00:27:55.551
I supported your career,
day in and day out,

591
00:27:55.634 --> 00:27:57.261
for nine years of my life.

592
00:27:57.344 --> 00:28:00.848
I wanted a parent,
not a business collaborator.

593
00:28:00.931 --> 00:28:04.476
When you were a little kid,
you begged me every day to be on TV.

594
00:28:04.560 --> 00:28:05.561
Begged me.

595
00:28:05.644 --> 00:28:08.856
I'm talking tantrums, days-long tantrums.

596
00:28:08.939 --> 00:28:13.110
Fits, making scenes, screaming,
carrying on.

597
00:28:13.193 --> 00:28:14.736
I didn't know what to do.

598
00:28:14.820 --> 00:28:17.281
I was 25 and you were 6.

599
00:28:17.364 --> 00:28:22.661
So I moved us across the country,
away from your father, my husband,

600
00:28:22.744 --> 00:28:25.956
away from my parents, my support system,

601
00:28:26.456 --> 00:28:29.710
into a shitty little month-to-month
in the Valley

602
00:28:29.793 --> 00:28:32.838
so I could take you
to auditions every day.

603
00:28:33.422 --> 00:28:34.840
You were my focus.

604
00:28:36.008 --> 00:28:37.509
Your father left us.

605
00:28:37.593 --> 00:28:39.803
Not just you, he left me too.

606
00:28:39.887 --> 00:28:41.805
I sacrificed my marriage.

607
00:28:43.432 --> 00:28:48.270
Who were you sacrificing anything for
when you were 25, Reef?

608
00:28:49.313 --> 00:28:51.481
But then something amazing happened.

609
00:28:52.232 --> 00:28:54.735
Your fucking dreams came true.

610
00:28:55.319 --> 00:28:58.447
And I went from being a little nobody
in the middle of nowhere

611
00:28:58.947 --> 00:29:03.327
to, suddenly, my son singing and dancing
on <i>The Tonight Show</i>.

612
00:29:04.077 --> 00:29:06.163
You became a big, famous actor.

613
00:29:07.122 --> 00:29:09.166
You got everything you ever wanted.

614
00:29:10.792 --> 00:29:11.793
Mom.

615
00:29:13.587 --> 00:29:14.755
I was a kid.

616
00:29:16.924 --> 00:29:19.134
Kids don't know what they want.

617
00:29:20.385 --> 00:29:22.679
Kids want to be astronauts.

618
00:29:22.763 --> 00:29:26.058
Yeah, and some of them
actually do become astronauts,

619
00:29:26.141 --> 00:29:28.894
the ones whose dreams are supported
by their mothers.

620
00:29:29.394 --> 00:29:32.147
Mom, I felt used and exploited.

621
00:29:33.148 --> 00:29:36.735
You stopped seeing me
when I got on this show.

622
00:29:38.320 --> 00:29:40.322
You stopped talking to me.

623
00:29:41.114 --> 00:29:42.407
Your fucking mother.

624
00:29:52.417 --> 00:29:53.418
You're right.

625
00:29:57.965 --> 00:29:58.966
I'm sorry.

626
00:30:01.301 --> 00:30:02.553
That's not okay.

627
00:30:08.100 --> 00:30:10.644
Can we take that
from after "You're right,"

628
00:30:10.727 --> 00:30:12.896
but before "Sorry, that's not okay"?

629
00:30:12.980 --> 00:30:15.023
I want to get a different reaction
on my side.

630
00:30:15.107 --> 00:30:17.860
Jesus fucking Christ!

631
00:30:18.527 --> 00:30:20.445
- You see?
- What?

632
00:30:20.529 --> 00:30:23.740
You even take a moment like that
and make it for the show.

633
00:30:23.824 --> 00:30:26.159
You make it for show.

634
00:30:26.702 --> 00:30:29.288
I was actually feeling in that moment.

635
00:30:29.371 --> 00:30:31.582
I didn't say anything about your take.

636
00:30:32.082 --> 00:30:35.544
I bought it.
Your delivery was very strong.

637
00:30:35.627 --> 00:30:39.715
I just wanted one where I cry
and one where I don't on my side,

638
00:30:39.798 --> 00:30:41.717
so the editor will have options.

639
00:30:42.384 --> 00:30:44.845
What even is an apology, Reef?

640
00:30:44.928 --> 00:30:46.889
Is it for you? Is it for me?

641
00:30:48.599 --> 00:30:50.976
Isn't an apology just a show also?

642
00:30:51.768 --> 00:30:53.437
This was such a fucked idea.

643
00:30:55.147 --> 00:30:56.648
You are such a scorched unit.

644
00:30:56.732 --> 00:30:59.193
Not everything is one thing, Reef.

645
00:31:00.360 --> 00:31:01.820
Yes, I want to be great on the show,

646
00:31:01.904 --> 00:31:04.489
but I mean everything
that was in this conversation.

647
00:31:04.990 --> 00:31:08.327
Just because the cameras are rolling
doesn't mean it's not real.

648
00:31:08.410 --> 00:31:12.289
Just because it's performative
doesn't mean that it's not the truth.

649
00:31:12.372 --> 00:31:13.790
Why can't it be both?

650
00:31:15.167 --> 00:31:18.670
You and I see things
so fucking differently, Reef.

651
00:31:19.588 --> 00:31:21.173
I've accepted that.

652
00:31:21.256 --> 00:31:23.342
I hope you can too one day.

653
00:31:24.676 --> 00:31:26.261
I'm not trying to change you.

654
00:31:27.804 --> 00:31:29.431
So don't try and change me.

655
00:31:36.730 --> 00:31:39.316
Kyle, your abstinence dog is out here.

656
00:31:40.234 --> 00:31:42.903
Do you want me to let him in
or do you a favor and put it down

657
00:31:42.986 --> 00:31:44.279
so someone will date you?

658
00:31:44.363 --> 00:31:48.158
Just put it under the window
over there, guys. Thanks.

659
00:31:48.242 --> 00:31:50.494
I should not be
lifting this couch right now.

660
00:31:50.577 --> 00:31:52.329
I have been so nauseous today.

661
00:31:53.205 --> 00:31:54.915
Babe. Maybe you're pregnant.

662
00:31:54.998 --> 00:31:57.668
Has that unhoused gentleman
outside of General Nutrition

663
00:31:57.751 --> 00:31:59.711
that you've been
romantically intertwined with

664
00:31:59.795 --> 00:32:01.421
not been using contraception?

665
00:32:03.590 --> 00:32:04.716
- Babe.
- Yeah?

666
00:32:05.300 --> 00:32:07.302
I'm as at risk of getting pregnant
as you are.

667
00:32:08.220 --> 00:32:09.596
- Because you're old.
- Yeah.

668
00:32:09.680 --> 00:32:11.181
That's the meaning of that bit.

669
00:32:11.265 --> 00:32:12.850
Just making sure
you understood the math of it.

670
00:32:12.933 --> 00:32:14.893
Oh, yeah, no. I... I got it. Thanks.

671
00:32:14.977 --> 00:32:18.188
And Reef, I know you can't handle
any of the <i>Housewives</i> stuff...

672
00:32:18.272 --> 00:32:19.523
- Yeah.
- ...but, like, your mom

673
00:32:19.606 --> 00:32:21.441
is so fucking major and iconic.

674
00:32:21.525 --> 00:32:23.068
Like, what was she wearing?

675
00:32:23.151 --> 00:32:24.152
I need details.

676
00:32:24.236 --> 00:32:26.196
Babe, lay off the mom stuff, okay?

677
00:32:26.280 --> 00:32:28.282
Even though we're all dying to know
what she was wearing.

678
00:32:28.365 --> 00:32:29.741
No, it's okay.

679
00:32:29.825 --> 00:32:30.993
But it's not her.

680
00:32:32.452 --> 00:32:33.453
It's not her.

681
00:32:37.040 --> 00:32:38.041
Okay.

682
00:32:42.004 --> 00:32:44.047
Reef, Reef, Reef!

683
00:32:55.475 --> 00:32:57.769
- Hello.
- <i>Be in my office, one hour.</i>

684
00:32:57.853 --> 00:32:59.980
<i>I got the fucking dream team
assembled for you, Bubbi.</i>

685
00:33:00.063 --> 00:33:01.398
<i>One hour. Be here.</i>

686
00:33:06.570 --> 00:33:09.573
Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today
because I have assembled

687
00:33:09.656 --> 00:33:12.242
the greatest group ever
to protect our boy, Reef Hawk,

688
00:33:12.326 --> 00:33:15.537
and bathe him in the waters
of our combined genius.

689
00:33:16.496 --> 00:33:17.497
Nothing?

690
00:33:17.998 --> 00:33:18.999
Prince?

691
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:21.001
Whatever.

692
00:33:21.084 --> 00:33:24.796
Reef, I would now like to introduce you
to your new crisis team.

693
00:33:24.880 --> 00:33:28.800
Or as I call them,
the R-R-R-R-R-R-Reef Unit.

694
00:33:30.177 --> 00:33:31.428
Didn't land.

695
00:33:31.512 --> 00:33:32.596
Okay. Tough room.

696
00:33:33.180 --> 00:33:35.682
I'll start with one of the greatest
to ever do it.

697
00:33:35.766 --> 00:33:39.436
One of the world's most renowned lawyers,

698
00:33:39.520 --> 00:33:44.316
the most legendary advocate
for women whose rights have been violated!

699
00:33:44.399 --> 00:33:47.736
Her legal reach is wide and long,

700
00:33:47.819 --> 00:33:50.405
and, my man,
you know she doesn't mind that!

701
00:33:50.906 --> 00:33:51.907
Ira.

702
00:33:51.990 --> 00:33:57.412
Ladies and gentlemen,
Virginia Allen-Green!

703
00:33:58.372 --> 00:33:59.831
Reef, it's nice to meet you.

704
00:33:59.915 --> 00:34:04.461
Don't you represent women
who are victims of terrible men?

705
00:34:04.545 --> 00:34:05.629
Not if I hire her first.

706
00:34:05.712 --> 00:34:07.381
I'm not... I didn't, like...

707
00:34:07.464 --> 00:34:09.257
- Oh, I know. I know.
- Oh, we know.

708
00:34:09.341 --> 00:34:11.217
- Bubbi, we know.
- I wouldn't have accepted this

709
00:34:11.301 --> 00:34:14.847
if I thought this was
a MeToo type of thing.

710
00:34:15.889 --> 00:34:17.558
- But if it is--
- It's not.

711
00:34:17.641 --> 00:34:18.809
- We know.
- No, no.

712
00:34:18.891 --> 00:34:20.310
- I know. She knows.
- I know, I know.

713
00:34:20.393 --> 00:34:21.353
- We know, we know.
- Yeah.

714
00:34:21.436 --> 00:34:23.021
- We know. We know.
- We know. We know.

715
00:34:23.105 --> 00:34:24.438
I, of course, know.

716
00:34:24.523 --> 00:34:27.734
But if it is, you're gonna want
Virginia here, Bubbi.

717
00:34:27.818 --> 00:34:30.112
Speaking of,
I would now like to introduce you

718
00:34:30.195 --> 00:34:33.489
to the third in our Three Tenors
of naughtiness.

719
00:34:34.449 --> 00:34:39.288
Ladies and gentlemen,
the sultan of social justice,

720
00:34:39.371 --> 00:34:42.416
the rabbi of race relations!

721
00:34:44.918 --> 00:34:47.129
<i>He's bringing sexy back</i>

722
00:34:47.629 --> 00:34:49.089
...to the Civil Rights Movement.

723
00:34:49.172 --> 00:34:50.174
Ira.

724
00:34:50.257 --> 00:34:54.678
He's been preaching since age three,
and, boy, is his soul tired!

725
00:34:54.761 --> 00:34:59.016
The Reverend Leondrus Carter!

726
00:34:59.641 --> 00:35:00.642
Shut the fuck up, Ira.

727
00:35:00.726 --> 00:35:02.603
He's still sore about last time
we worked together.

728
00:35:02.686 --> 00:35:04.605
Yeah, because you completely ruined
the entire thing

729
00:35:04.688 --> 00:35:06.523
and embarrassed the shit out of me
and my client.

730
00:35:06.607 --> 00:35:08.817
Here we go again. Did you follow
the Jussie Smollett thing?

731
00:35:08.901 --> 00:35:12.070
The two racist guys
who beat up the Black actor,

732
00:35:12.154 --> 00:35:13.989
and it ended up being set up by him?

733
00:35:14.072 --> 00:35:16.909
Leon and I came up with that
at lunch one day. It's a killer idea.

734
00:35:16.992 --> 00:35:19.703
We pitched it around town and Jussie was
the most passionate about the project.

735
00:35:19.786 --> 00:35:21.330
Sometimes these things are
reverse engineered

736
00:35:21.413 --> 00:35:23.040
where the idea comes before the talent.

737
00:35:23.123 --> 00:35:25.000
You know, like when a movie studio has
a franchise,

738
00:35:25.083 --> 00:35:27.628
- but they don't have a star attached?
- Then tell him what happened, Ira.

739
00:35:27.711 --> 00:35:30.088
You're such a fucking hypocrite, Leon.
You're one of my best friends,

740
00:35:30.172 --> 00:35:32.341
I love you more than life itself,
but you're a hypocrite.

741
00:35:32.424 --> 00:35:34.885
You're always on me
about hiring more Black people,

742
00:35:34.968 --> 00:35:37.137
so I hired two Black guys
to beat up Jussie.

743
00:35:37.221 --> 00:35:41.433
This is me growing with elegance,
and all of a sudden I'm the asshole!

744
00:35:41.517 --> 00:35:43.519
You hired two Black guys
to play white supremacists

745
00:35:43.602 --> 00:35:45.437
to commit a hate crime
against a Black guy!

746
00:35:45.521 --> 00:35:46.522
You stupid motherfucker.

747
00:35:46.605 --> 00:35:47.689
It's impossible to keep up.

748
00:35:47.773 --> 00:35:50.150
Hire Black guys, don't hire Black guys.
Make up your mind!

749
00:35:50.234 --> 00:35:52.236
I shouldn't have to explain this one.

750
00:35:52.319 --> 00:35:55.531
You're acting like I didn't even post
a black square a couple years ago.

751
00:35:55.614 --> 00:35:57.241
You saw that. I storied it.

752
00:35:57.324 --> 00:36:00.327
It wasn't on my permanent grid,
but I storied the black square.

753
00:36:01.203 --> 00:36:05.499
I obviously know who you are,
and I'm a fan, Reverend.

754
00:36:05.582 --> 00:36:07.334
But why is he on our team?

755
00:36:08.794 --> 00:36:12.005
I pray to God you didn't say
the word on that video.

756
00:36:12.089 --> 00:36:13.131
What?

757
00:36:13.215 --> 00:36:14.758
No! I would never.

758
00:36:14.842 --> 00:36:16.260
- Oh, I know.
- We know.

759
00:36:16.343 --> 00:36:17.261
- We know.
- Yeah, it's okay.

760
00:36:17.344 --> 00:36:18.846
- We know, I know, he knows.
- Yeah.

761
00:36:18.929 --> 00:36:20.347
- We know.
- Of course we know.

762
00:36:20.430 --> 00:36:23.225
- We know, brother.
- But if you did...

763
00:36:23.308 --> 00:36:25.561
I will smack the living shit out of you.

764
00:36:26.812 --> 00:36:28.021
And then,

765
00:36:28.939 --> 00:36:32.025
we're gonna hold hands and walk
through the fire together, my brother.

766
00:36:32.860 --> 00:36:34.361
I'm not a racist.

767
00:36:34.444 --> 00:36:38.615
Reef, while we totally believe
you aren't racist,

768
00:36:38.699 --> 00:36:41.785
we do know for a fact
you have done racist things.

769
00:36:41.869 --> 00:36:43.078
Which is very common,

770
00:36:43.161 --> 00:36:46.874
except, in your position,
is incredibly dangerous.

771
00:36:46.957 --> 00:36:47.958
I'm Unis Kim.

772
00:36:48.041 --> 00:36:49.376
I'm a lawyer and activist.

773
00:36:49.459 --> 00:36:53.755
I'm here because I famously started
the hashtag "Stop Imitating Asian People."

774
00:36:53.839 --> 00:36:54.882
I did, by the way.

775
00:36:54.965 --> 00:36:57.092
- We noticed. Thank you for doing that.
- Thank you. No, thank you.

776
00:36:57.176 --> 00:36:59.595
Reef, do you recall a scene from a...

777
00:37:00.429 --> 00:37:02.097
Jesus, I'd hate to call it a film...

778
00:37:02.181 --> 00:37:04.600
a thing you were in called

779
00:37:04.683 --> 00:37:08.770
<i>Titty School Six:
Let's Get Tit-tarted In Here</i>?

780
00:37:08.854 --> 00:37:10.564
An '80s, low-budget teen comedy

781
00:37:10.647 --> 00:37:12.566
Ira buried when you got famous?

782
00:37:12.649 --> 00:37:14.359
We think someone may have found it.

783
00:37:14.443 --> 00:37:16.528
Do you recall a scene from this film

784
00:37:16.612 --> 00:37:19.489
in which your character,
Israel Boner Shartstein,

785
00:37:19.573 --> 00:37:20.824
is tasked with breaking into

786
00:37:20.908 --> 00:37:23.118
the girls' sorority
to steal their bras and panties?

787
00:37:23.202 --> 00:37:25.162
And in order to pull off this caper,

788
00:37:25.245 --> 00:37:26.747
you, as your character,

789
00:37:26.830 --> 00:37:29.708
dress up as a geisha
to sneak into the sorority?

790
00:37:29.791 --> 00:37:32.961
We think someone may be
framing the scene in a modern context

791
00:37:33.045 --> 00:37:36.882
to use it to cancel you
for being racist against Asian people.

792
00:37:36.965 --> 00:37:38.926
It was a scene in a stupid movie.

793
00:37:39.009 --> 00:37:41.386
It wasn't me, it was
a character in a movie.

794
00:37:41.470 --> 00:37:43.013
Doesn't matter. Hey, wait.

795
00:37:43.096 --> 00:37:44.723
Where's Moshe from
the Anti-Semitism Committee?

796
00:37:44.806 --> 00:37:45.849
We ran the numbers.

797
00:37:45.933 --> 00:37:49.770
It turns out that hating Jews doesn't
negatively affect a person's career.

798
00:37:49.853 --> 00:37:51.271
In fact, it could even help.

799
00:37:52.981 --> 00:37:54.024
Like, that sounds like

800
00:37:54.107 --> 00:37:55.817
- a freak-o acid trip.
- So, what,

801
00:37:55.901 --> 00:37:57.903
you go through every
hypothetical, fucked-up thing

802
00:37:57.986 --> 00:37:59.613
you may have ever
done in your entire life?

803
00:37:59.696 --> 00:38:00.697
- Yeah.
- If we broke down

804
00:38:00.781 --> 00:38:03.492
my texts to my dry cleaner on Tuesday,
I'd never work again.

805
00:38:03.575 --> 00:38:07.788
I mean, it felt like fire against my skin
the whole entire time.

806
00:38:07.871 --> 00:38:10.165
I hate that you're being put through this.

807
00:38:10.249 --> 00:38:11.667
I just hate it when you're sad.

808
00:38:11.750 --> 00:38:14.378
You know, I was thinking
about when you got clean,

809
00:38:14.461 --> 00:38:18.340
how you never did AA
or any other program like that

810
00:38:18.423 --> 00:38:20.175
'cause you were just, like, so worried

811
00:38:20.259 --> 00:38:22.928
that people were gonna recognize you
and out that you had a problem,

812
00:38:23.011 --> 00:38:26.974
and how that would, you know,
affect your image of course.

813
00:38:27.057 --> 00:38:30.352
But a big part of all of that is
doing the steps, right?

814
00:38:30.435 --> 00:38:32.145
Apologizing to the people you hurt.

815
00:38:32.729 --> 00:38:37.025
Maybe this whole thing is, like,
the universe's way of making sure

816
00:38:37.109 --> 00:38:40.863
that you apologize to the people that were
hurt by your addiction, you know?

817
00:38:43.532 --> 00:38:47.244
I'm sure there's a lot of people
that would appreciate an apology from you.

818
00:38:50.038 --> 00:38:51.039
Right, Xander?

819
00:38:52.833 --> 00:38:53.834
Yeah.

820
00:38:55.377 --> 00:38:56.378
Sure.

821
00:39:02.885 --> 00:39:03.886
You're right.

822
00:39:07.681 --> 00:39:09.141
Fuck, this is hard.

823
00:39:13.854 --> 00:39:15.355
I need to apologize...

824
00:39:20.777 --> 00:39:21.904
to Savannah.

825
00:39:27.492 --> 00:39:28.493
Yeah.

826
00:39:29.786 --> 00:39:32.831
I'm gonna try and get back
before dinner, but thank you.

827
00:39:32.915 --> 00:39:34.208
- Yeah.
- Thanks.

828
00:39:38.212 --> 00:39:39.922
What the actual fuck?

829
00:39:40.005 --> 00:39:41.715
Dude, I don't even know what I said.

830
00:39:41.798 --> 00:39:43.008
- It was like...
- He's just...

831
00:39:43.091 --> 00:39:44.593
What?

832
00:39:44.676 --> 00:39:46.345
Why did I...

833
00:39:46.428 --> 00:39:48.180
- So stupid.
- Oh, babe. No, you're right about that.

834
00:39:48.263 --> 00:39:50.265
- No, it's stupid.
- Come here.

835
00:39:50.807 --> 00:39:53.101
I don't think you're stupid.

836
00:40:56.915 --> 00:40:58.292
Reef.

837
00:41:00.586 --> 00:41:02.504
Savannah.

838
00:41:03.172 --> 00:41:04.214
Here we are.

839
00:41:04.715 --> 00:41:06.758
Dude, you are so annoying.

840
00:41:07.634 --> 00:41:10.220
I can hate you or wanna kill you

841
00:41:10.304 --> 00:41:13.182
or even forget about you,
but then you sit here in front of me

842
00:41:13.265 --> 00:41:15.475
and you are still the goofy kid

843
00:41:16.185 --> 00:41:18.812
lighting fireworks off
at the vents behind the mall,

844
00:41:19.479 --> 00:41:20.522
almost going deaf.

845
00:41:20.606 --> 00:41:23.859
Jesus.
I haven't thought about that in so long.

846
00:41:23.942 --> 00:41:25.402
Such a little twerp.

847
00:41:26.236 --> 00:41:28.822
Always showing off for everybody,
center of attention.

848
00:41:30.824 --> 00:41:32.993
But I always liked you
in moments like this.

849
00:41:35.621 --> 00:41:37.122
When it was just us talking.

850
00:41:38.874 --> 00:41:40.334
Nobody to show off for.

851
00:41:47.674 --> 00:41:49.635
I pulled it off. Photo finish.

852
00:41:50.677 --> 00:41:52.221
Don't worry, they're not yours.

853
00:41:52.304 --> 00:41:53.680
That's not funny.

854
00:41:55.140 --> 00:41:56.183
Okay, Reef.

855
00:41:56.266 --> 00:41:59.102
Do they have your sense of humor?

856
00:41:59.811 --> 00:42:00.979
They're smarter than me.

857
00:42:02.272 --> 00:42:04.066
Let's hope they make better choices.

858
00:42:13.200 --> 00:42:15.619
I'm really sorry I let you down.

859
00:42:25.128 --> 00:42:27.089
How do I put this the right way?

860
00:42:27.172 --> 00:42:31.927
I want to use the correct
verbiage here and not mince words.

861
00:42:36.723 --> 00:42:38.267
You're not a good person.

862
00:42:45.607 --> 00:42:47.651
I wasted years of my life on you.

863
00:42:48.527 --> 00:42:49.570
With you.

864
00:42:50.779 --> 00:42:53.699
And about you because
it's always about you, Reef.

865
00:42:57.494 --> 00:43:03.083
Let me guess. Xander and Kyle haven't been
this honest with you

866
00:43:03.917 --> 00:43:06.170
about your behavior
in these conversations.

867
00:43:06.253 --> 00:43:08.839
They never had a problem lying to you.

868
00:43:08.922 --> 00:43:10.340
Or for you.

869
00:43:11.466 --> 00:43:16.138
Yeah, you don't stick around long
with this kind of realness. Do you, Reef?

870
00:43:21.059 --> 00:43:22.436
But I'm not around anymore.

871
00:43:24.396 --> 00:43:25.439
Thank God.

872
00:43:28.567 --> 00:43:30.152
Because after the last thing...

873
00:43:35.115 --> 00:43:36.742
The last thing that happened.

874
00:43:39.077 --> 00:43:40.495
Yeah.

875
00:43:40.579 --> 00:43:44.833
It took finally allowing a good
and devoted man to love me

876
00:43:44.917 --> 00:43:49.963
to realize that I'm not just
a distraction to run to

877
00:43:50.047 --> 00:43:52.382
and toy with when you're...

878
00:43:56.470 --> 00:43:57.888
when you're depressed or...

879
00:43:59.765 --> 00:44:01.850
lonely or between movies or...

880
00:44:04.436 --> 00:44:05.729
literally bored.

881
00:44:06.772 --> 00:44:09.733
Only to discard when
something amazing would happen.

882
00:44:11.568 --> 00:44:12.569
No, you're not.

883
00:44:13.111 --> 00:44:14.321
Correct.

884
00:44:25.999 --> 00:44:29.294
I used to think that telling you
all this would make me happy.

885
00:44:33.257 --> 00:44:34.258
It doesn't.

886
00:44:37.261 --> 00:44:39.054
My family makes me happy.

887
00:44:40.931 --> 00:44:43.058
My ch... My children make me happy.

888
00:45:03.120 --> 00:45:04.162
Ira?

889
00:45:04.246 --> 00:45:06.039
<i>Bubbi, I need you to come
straight back to my office.</i>

890
00:45:06.123 --> 00:45:08.625
<i>I got us a call with the guy.
He's ready to negotiate.</i>

891
00:45:08.709 --> 00:45:10.794
<i>Same seats. Shit. I gotta run.</i>

892
00:45:10.878 --> 00:45:13.755
<i>Adam Driver bought a pet chimp and it
ripped some lady's face off at the mall.</i>

893
00:45:13.839 --> 00:45:15.591
<i>They're cute when you buy 'em,
but then it's like--</i>

894
00:45:15.674 --> 00:45:16.675
Wait. Ira!

895
00:45:30.147 --> 00:45:31.857
<i>Ira, we have him on the line.</i>

896
00:45:31.940 --> 00:45:33.984
All right. This is it. At your stations.
Okay?

897
00:45:34.067 --> 00:45:35.068
Put him through.

898
00:45:35.986 --> 00:45:37.863
<i>Hey, Ira. Yo. How's things?</i>

899
00:45:37.946 --> 00:45:41.283
All good over here. Just in
the office solo doing a million things.

900
00:45:41.366 --> 00:45:42.367
<i>Oh, yeah.</i>

901
00:45:42.451 --> 00:45:45.329
<i>By the sound of that speakerphone and
the cavernous echo in the conference room,</i>

902
00:45:45.412 --> 00:45:46.830
<i>I can tell it's just you in there.</i>

903
00:45:46.914 --> 00:45:48.582
Fuck you. What do you got?

904
00:45:48.665 --> 00:45:52.002
<i>I'm assuming Virginia, Leondrus
and the crew are all in there with you?</i>

905
00:45:52.085 --> 00:45:54.213
- <i>Hello, all.</i>
- Nope. Wrong again.

906
00:45:54.713 --> 00:45:56.006
<i>Okay, Ira.</i>

907
00:45:56.089 --> 00:45:59.009
<i>Hey. By the way, I wanna say,
Reef, if you're there too,</i>

908
00:45:59.092 --> 00:46:01.512
<i>which I'm pretty positive that you are...</i>

909
00:46:02.179 --> 00:46:04.097
<i>I should legally disclose
that I'm your neighbor</i>

910
00:46:04.181 --> 00:46:06.934
<i>who's been renting a house next to
you for the past few months.</i>

911
00:46:07.476 --> 00:46:09.019
What the fuck?

912
00:46:11.313 --> 00:46:14.483
"Legally disclose."
Since when are you a stickler for the law?

913
00:46:14.566 --> 00:46:17.277
<i>All right. Well, you know, not legally,
but, like, homey to homey.</i>

914
00:46:17.778 --> 00:46:20.364
<i>I thought I should tell you that.
It felt fucked up not to.</i>

915
00:46:20.447 --> 00:46:22.157
All right. So what do we got here?

916
00:46:22.783 --> 00:46:26.745
<i>Okay. As you know, I can't reveal much,
but I have procured a video</i>

917
00:46:26.828 --> 00:46:29.790
<i>from a person who wishes to sell it to
the highest-bidding media outlet.</i>

918
00:46:30.374 --> 00:46:32.918
<i>I would like to offer Reef
the opportunity to buy it first.</i>

919
00:46:33.877 --> 00:46:35.838
How fucking generous of you.

920
00:46:36.380 --> 00:46:38.674
<i>All I can tell you
about the video is this.</i>

921
00:46:48.100 --> 00:46:49.476
<i>He comes.</i>

922
00:46:54.690 --> 00:46:58.068
<i>The price is 15 million.
The deadline is Tuesday at 10:00 a.m.</i>

923
00:46:59.611 --> 00:47:00.612
<i>Peace.</i>

924
00:47:04.157 --> 00:47:05.158
"Comes."

925
00:47:08.579 --> 00:47:09.830
"Comes."

926
00:47:12.708 --> 00:47:13.750
"Comes."

927
00:47:13.834 --> 00:47:16.170
- Oh, God.
- "Comes."

928
00:47:17.254 --> 00:47:18.255
"Comes."

929
00:47:22.050 --> 00:47:23.135
"Comes."

930
00:47:23.677 --> 00:47:26.388
This is the actual
worst moment of my life.

931
00:47:27.764 --> 00:47:28.765
"He comes."

932
00:47:31.977 --> 00:47:32.978
I accept that.

933
00:47:33.770 --> 00:47:34.938
I do. I accept it.

934
00:47:39.234 --> 00:47:40.903
But who says coming is bad? Right?

935
00:47:40.986 --> 00:47:42.362
- Yeah, it's a good thing.
- Yeah.

936
00:47:42.446 --> 00:47:44.031
- Nothing bad about it at all.
- I'm sex positive.

937
00:47:44.114 --> 00:47:46.158
- Come makes babies.
- Yeah, yeah.

938
00:47:46.241 --> 00:47:47.701
Babies grow up to be doctors.

939
00:47:48.202 --> 00:47:49.536
Doctors heal us when we're ailing.

940
00:47:49.620 --> 00:47:51.079
Technically he's right.

941
00:47:51.163 --> 00:47:52.623
You know who's made out of come?

942
00:47:53.207 --> 00:47:54.917
- She is.
- I'm not made out of come.

943
00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:55.918
Absolutely are.

944
00:47:56.001 --> 00:47:57.419
Even Reef Hawk.

945
00:47:57.503 --> 00:47:58.670
Dramatic pause.

946
00:47:59.254 --> 00:48:00.255
Matinee idol.

947
00:48:00.797 --> 00:48:03.217
Handprints in
the Grauman's Chinese sidewalk.

948
00:48:04.510 --> 00:48:06.428
100% completely come-based.

949
00:48:06.512 --> 00:48:10.265
I believe in
the profundity of this argument.

950
00:48:12.226 --> 00:48:13.644
This young lady here. Come.

951
00:48:15.646 --> 00:48:17.356
That felt wrong even as I was saying it.

952
00:48:17.439 --> 00:48:20.859
But I urge you to hear me when I say this.

953
00:48:20.943 --> 00:48:25.531
None of us in this room
would be here without come.

954
00:48:26.823 --> 00:48:28.116
Am I wrong?

955
00:48:30.035 --> 00:48:31.078
Applause.

956
00:48:31.954 --> 00:48:32.955
If you want.

957
00:48:33.497 --> 00:48:35.040
If you want. If you want.

958
00:48:39.336 --> 00:48:40.963
- No!
- Whoa, whoa. Bubbi.

959
00:48:41.046 --> 00:48:43.507
You don't understand, Ira.
You don't understand.

960
00:48:43.590 --> 00:48:45.759
I've been so fucking careful!

961
00:48:45.843 --> 00:48:47.010
Hey. You're okay.

962
00:48:47.094 --> 00:48:49.930
I've never filmed myself.
I've never been filmed with anyone.

963
00:48:50.013 --> 00:48:51.807
I've been so fucking careful!

964
00:48:52.432 --> 00:48:54.017
Why is this happening to me?

965
00:49:02.192 --> 00:49:03.318
What did you just say?

966
00:49:06.822 --> 00:49:08.323
Why is this happening to me?

967
00:49:08.824 --> 00:49:10.117
No, before that.

968
00:49:13.453 --> 00:49:15.205
"I've been so fucking careful."

969
00:49:15.289 --> 00:49:16.331
Before that.

970
00:49:17.624 --> 00:49:22.337
"I've never filmed myself."
And, "I've never been filmed with anyone."

971
00:49:28.886 --> 00:49:29.887
What?

972
00:49:33.348 --> 00:49:34.349
What is it?

973
00:49:35.142 --> 00:49:37.019
You were filmed without your consent.

974
00:49:40.522 --> 00:49:42.816
It was nonconsensual.

975
00:49:43.609 --> 00:49:45.694
- Virginia, do you wanna explain this?
- I'd love to.

976
00:49:45.777 --> 00:49:49.907
Reef, have you ever heard
of victim capitalism?

977
00:49:50.949 --> 00:49:51.950
No.

978
00:49:52.034 --> 00:49:54.328
When you were growing up,
you wanted to be an actor.

979
00:49:54.411 --> 00:49:58.874
You wanted to be a gifted artist and that
in turn would bring you riches and fame.

980
00:49:58.957 --> 00:50:02.169
You were part of the recognition
for talent generation.

981
00:50:02.252 --> 00:50:05.672
But people got tired of having to work
hard and actually be good at something.

982
00:50:05.756 --> 00:50:08.091
Why do all that work? It's exhausting.

983
00:50:08.175 --> 00:50:10.344
And the odds are so
terribly low of succeeding.

984
00:50:10.427 --> 00:50:12.888
So, here come the Kardashians.

985
00:50:12.971 --> 00:50:14.973
The big bang happened.

986
00:50:15.057 --> 00:50:17.476
Attention culture.

987
00:50:17.559 --> 00:50:20.521
And it is huge.

988
00:50:20.604 --> 00:50:22.564
Now you don't have to do
anything special to be famous.

989
00:50:22.648 --> 00:50:23.815
You just have to be.

990
00:50:23.899 --> 00:50:27.361
You just have to make enough
noise to garner the attention.

991
00:50:27.444 --> 00:50:29.821
Any kind of noise. Any kind of attention.

992
00:50:29.905 --> 00:50:33.075
And this brings us to
the birth of social media.

993
00:50:33.158 --> 00:50:36.119
Now anyone with a phone can
have it at the push of a button.

994
00:50:36.203 --> 00:50:39.164
That sweet, sweet nectar of attention.

995
00:50:39.748 --> 00:50:42.209
And then, it was ignited.

996
00:50:43.126 --> 00:50:44.253
The spark.

997
00:50:45.337 --> 00:50:46.588
Victimhood.

998
00:50:46.672 --> 00:50:52.928
The only way you can become rich and
famous in this culture is to be a victim.

999
00:50:53.011 --> 00:50:54.304
Victim capitalism.

1000
00:50:54.388 --> 00:50:56.849
The best thing you can be in
our modern society is a victim.

1001
00:50:56.932 --> 00:51:02.646
And you, Reef Hawk, are a white,
middle-aged, rich, famous,

1002
00:51:02.729 --> 00:51:07.818
straight movie star
who is indeed a victim.

1003
00:51:07.901 --> 00:51:09.319
You're a fucking unicorn.

1004
00:51:09.403 --> 00:51:11.446
This is gonna be
the biggest year of your whole career.

1005
00:51:11.530 --> 00:51:13.282
I mean,
you're gonna be a bigger star than ever.

1006
00:51:13.365 --> 00:51:14.783
You know what we have to do, right?

1007
00:51:14.867 --> 00:51:15.909
We've got one move.

1008
00:51:15.993 --> 00:51:17.870
Live interview.

1009
00:51:17.953 --> 00:51:20.581
That's right. A live interview
cuts him off at the knees.

1010
00:51:20.664 --> 00:51:23.375
Talking about the video before
they have a chance to leak it

1011
00:51:23.876 --> 00:51:26.378
makes you the victim
and gives us all the leverage.

1012
00:51:28.338 --> 00:51:30.090
God, where are they?

1013
00:51:31.133 --> 00:51:33.010
We're gonna be fucking late.

1014
00:51:34.094 --> 00:51:35.387
Everything okay?

1015
00:51:35.470 --> 00:51:36.471
Yeah, yeah.

1016
00:51:37.306 --> 00:51:39.183
I'm just running a little late
and it's the one day a week

1017
00:51:39.266 --> 00:51:40.809
I gotta be out by a certain time.

1018
00:51:48.150 --> 00:51:49.651
Hey, I know that was a lot.

1019
00:51:51.111 --> 00:51:52.487
Sit with it tonight.

1020
00:51:53.697 --> 00:51:54.948
Digest it.

1021
00:52:00.829 --> 00:52:01.830
Ira,

1022
00:52:03.624 --> 00:52:06.251
you have a really weird job.

1023
00:52:08.420 --> 00:52:13.884
It's like you just wait for
a call that I got in trouble.

1024
00:52:23.769 --> 00:52:25.020
Bubbi, you ever think about...

1025
00:52:27.147 --> 00:52:30.150
why you thought it was okay to get in
the kind of trouble

1026
00:52:30.817 --> 00:52:32.402
you got in for as long as you did?

1027
00:52:34.988 --> 00:52:37.074
Everybody's a psycho when they're young.

1028
00:52:37.574 --> 00:52:39.117
Myself, number one.

1029
00:52:42.412 --> 00:52:44.665
But for everybody else in the world,

1030
00:52:44.748 --> 00:52:48.752
all these people,
they can't act like that forever.

1031
00:52:51.588 --> 00:52:54.883
I had real life hit me
like a fucking train.

1032
00:52:57.845 --> 00:53:00.222
But when my phone rings and it's you,
I pick up.

1033
00:53:01.557 --> 00:53:03.016
I always pick up.

1034
00:53:07.729 --> 00:53:09.189
There he is!

1035
00:53:09.857 --> 00:53:14.069
- Hey, hey!
- Sorry, Ira. We hit crazy traffic.

1036
00:53:14.152 --> 00:53:15.904
- No worries. LA, baby.
- So bad.

1037
00:53:15.988 --> 00:53:17.531
The traffic. Come on. Are you crazy?

1038
00:53:17.614 --> 00:53:19.616
Buddy. There he is. My boy.

1039
00:53:19.700 --> 00:53:20.659
Dad!

1040
00:53:20.742 --> 00:53:23.078
- What? Are you too old to kiss your dad?
- Oh, come on.

1041
00:53:23.161 --> 00:53:25.205
When you were a baby,
I used to kiss your face.

1042
00:53:25.289 --> 00:53:26.290
Dad.

1043
00:53:26.373 --> 00:53:30.210
I still see you as this little...
fat, little, chunky little guy.

1044
00:53:30.294 --> 00:53:33.338
- Dad, I hate being late for the Dodgers.
- Yeah, I know. I hate being late.

1045
00:53:33.422 --> 00:53:34.423
- I'm sorry, buddy. I--
- Yeah.

1046
00:53:34.506 --> 00:53:36.425
But we got to listen to
Britney Spears's audiobook.

1047
00:53:36.508 --> 00:53:41.930
And let me just say
she lived a very wild life.

1048
00:53:42.014 --> 00:53:43.765
She's the best.
She sang at your mom and I's wedding.

1049
00:53:44.391 --> 00:53:45.893
Hey, you know who this guy is?

1050
00:53:45.976 --> 00:53:47.978
- Reef Hawk.
- That's right.

1051
00:53:48.979 --> 00:53:50.564
OG client of your dad's.

1052
00:53:51.398 --> 00:53:55.277
Always wanted you guys to meet each
other, but Reef's always very busy.

1053
00:53:55.360 --> 00:53:57.779
So, Reef, do you have a girlfriend?

1054
00:53:57.863 --> 00:54:00.824
This guy with the "girlfri--"
Always with the fucking girlfriend.

1055
00:54:00.908 --> 00:54:02.826
- Not right now.
- Well, same here.

1056
00:54:02.910 --> 00:54:04.328
We're on the same boat.

1057
00:54:04.411 --> 00:54:06.830
That's what I tell him.
He's gotta keep his options open.

1058
00:54:06.914 --> 00:54:10.334
Yeah. Dad said I gotta keep
my options open 'cause I'm a handsome guy.

1059
00:54:10.417 --> 00:54:11.877
Cool and handsome guy.

1060
00:54:12.711 --> 00:54:13.921
Just like Reef.

1061
00:54:14.004 --> 00:54:15.923
Hey, you guys should be wingmen
for each other.

1062
00:54:16.006 --> 00:54:17.716
Just try and leave some pussy
for the rest of us.

1063
00:54:17.799 --> 00:54:20.010
Shut up, Dad.

1064
00:54:20.093 --> 00:54:22.137
What do I always say?
Keep your options open.

1065
00:54:22.221 --> 00:54:24.223
- Yes.
- Never sign anything.

1066
00:54:24.306 --> 00:54:27.100
- Check the Saudi money.
- Check the Saudi money.

1067
00:54:27.184 --> 00:54:28.727
- Right.
- Okay. Hey.

1068
00:54:30.187 --> 00:54:31.188
I'll check in tomorrow.

1069
00:54:31.980 --> 00:54:33.232
Enjoy the game.

1070
00:54:34.816 --> 00:54:36.777
- See you later, Reef.
- Nice to meet you, man.

1071
00:54:36.860 --> 00:54:39.363
Don't do alcohol
and say no to crack, Reef.

1072
00:54:40.739 --> 00:54:42.491
Hey. I told you not
to tell anybody about that.

1073
00:54:42.574 --> 00:54:44.034
You're not supposed to repeat that shit.

1074
00:54:44.117 --> 00:54:45.369
Get in the car, guys. Let's go.

1075
00:55:15.941 --> 00:55:16.942
Reef Hawk.

1076
00:55:19.486 --> 00:55:20.487
Hey.

1077
00:55:20.571 --> 00:55:23.240
I think I read a couple of years ago
your dad hung himself, right?

1078
00:55:25.033 --> 00:55:27.286
It's so funny.
I'm reading the new Jennifer Egan

1079
00:55:27.369 --> 00:55:29.288
and the main character's a rock star

1080
00:55:29.371 --> 00:55:32.082
whose mom is on a reality show
and the dad hangs himself.

1081
00:55:33.250 --> 00:55:34.585
I mean, it's a rock star.

1082
00:55:34.668 --> 00:55:37.504
It's not a movie star,
but it's crazy close, right?

1083
00:55:43.552 --> 00:55:45.262
Anyway, check it out
if you have a flight or something.

1084
00:55:45.888 --> 00:55:47.556
You can breeze right through it.

1085
00:55:57.232 --> 00:55:59.443
Can I just say what we're all thinking?

1086
00:56:00.194 --> 00:56:04.615
A live, tell-all interview
while pretending to be a victim

1087
00:56:04.698 --> 00:56:08.744
seems like the actual complete
opposite of what you should do.

1088
00:56:08.827 --> 00:56:10.370
What's the alternative?

1089
00:56:10.454 --> 00:56:13.415
Give everything up
I've worked for my entire life?

1090
00:56:13.957 --> 00:56:15.667
I have what everyone dreams of.

1091
00:56:15.751 --> 00:56:18.712
I can't just throw it away.

1092
00:56:23.717 --> 00:56:26.261
Let's just, like, sell everything
and move to Hawaii.

1093
00:56:27.554 --> 00:56:29.598
Open a smoothie stand or something.

1094
00:56:30.182 --> 00:56:32.184
Yeah. There we go.

1095
00:56:32.935 --> 00:56:34.645
I'll open a smoothie stand.

1096
00:56:35.395 --> 00:56:36.647
What a brilliant idea.

1097
00:56:36.730 --> 00:56:39.983
You just seem a little off lately, so...

1098
00:56:41.276 --> 00:56:42.778
Look, I just wanna make sure that you're--

1099
00:56:42.861 --> 00:56:43.987
Make sure I'm what?

1100
00:56:45.864 --> 00:56:49.618
Are you implying that there's something
important that I'm hiding from you?

1101
00:56:49.701 --> 00:56:51.411
Reef, dude. She's just asking you--

1102
00:56:51.495 --> 00:56:52.996
I know what she's asking.

1103
00:56:53.080 --> 00:56:54.915
I don't know why it's such a big deal.

1104
00:56:54.998 --> 00:56:57.334
It's a big fucking deal.

1105
00:56:57.417 --> 00:56:58.794
Because questioning that

1106
00:56:58.877 --> 00:57:02.965
is questioning the very core
of everything I am the last five years.

1107
00:57:03.048 --> 00:57:08.053
Everything I've fought
and clawed and promised to not be.

1108
00:57:08.887 --> 00:57:12.891
So you questioning that isn't
just a chill little question.

1109
00:57:13.600 --> 00:57:15.269
It's calling me a fraud.

1110
00:57:16.353 --> 00:57:18.605
So what the fuck are you asking?

1111
00:57:21.441 --> 00:57:24.945
Don't fucking curse at me ever.

1112
00:57:26.864 --> 00:57:31.118
Don't ever talk to me like that ever.

1113
00:57:32.286 --> 00:57:35.622
You are under immense
pressure and anxiety,

1114
00:57:35.706 --> 00:57:38.959
so I am asking you
as somebody who loves you,

1115
00:57:39.042 --> 00:57:41.503
are you strong in your sobriety?

1116
00:57:41.587 --> 00:57:45.424
Because you have that look in your eyes
you promised I wasn't going to see again.

1117
00:57:47.426 --> 00:57:48.927
How fucking dare you.

1118
00:57:49.511 --> 00:57:51.930
How dare I? How dare I?

1119
00:57:52.014 --> 00:57:55.559
I ask you because I am
someone who loves you

1120
00:57:55.642 --> 00:57:58.812
at times more than you are
capable of loving yourself.

1121
00:57:59.354 --> 00:58:03.192
I ask because I would rather
you throw some little bitchy,

1122
00:58:03.275 --> 00:58:06.904
diva, movie star tantrum and not be
my friend for a month

1123
00:58:06.987 --> 00:58:12.367
than to walk in on you overdosed again
thinking that you were fucking dead.

1124
00:58:13.410 --> 00:58:18.290
Which you don't even remember, but was,
like, the worst moment of my life.

1125
00:58:22.628 --> 00:58:27.674
Dude, you're a 56-year-old man
who might be back on hard drugs.

1126
00:58:27.758 --> 00:58:32.012
So when I ask you,
it's not because it's fun for me.

1127
00:58:35.098 --> 00:58:38.602
My sobriety is stronger
than fucking steel.

1128
00:58:43.899 --> 00:58:49.404
And as far as moving to Hawaii
and opening a smoothie stand,

1129
00:58:50.864 --> 00:58:53.659
that might be in the realm
of possibility for you.

1130
00:58:54.785 --> 00:58:56.119
But honestly, Kyle...

1131
00:58:56.203 --> 00:58:57.079
Yeah.

1132
00:58:57.162 --> 00:58:59.915
...I don't have the patience
or the fucking energy

1133
00:58:59.998 --> 00:59:04.169
to fake being able to relate to
your shitty little life today.

1134
00:59:05.087 --> 00:59:11.760
I live in an existence you literally
have no way of understanding.

1135
00:59:11.844 --> 00:59:13.345
Oh, fuck.

1136
00:59:13.428 --> 00:59:14.930
You're right.

1137
00:59:15.639 --> 00:59:16.807
I have no idea.

1138
00:59:18.058 --> 00:59:21.186
I hope that you do that giant interview

1139
00:59:21.270 --> 00:59:24.606
and I hope you get
more famous and more rich.

1140
00:59:24.690 --> 00:59:26.024
More attention.

1141
00:59:27.442 --> 00:59:31.446
As it seems to
historically serve you super well.

1142
00:59:32.239 --> 00:59:35.075
And you know what?
I love my life, my shitty little life.

1143
00:59:35.158 --> 00:59:35.993
You know why?

1144
00:59:36.076 --> 00:59:39.371
I get to be whoever I wanna be.

1145
00:59:40.330 --> 00:59:41.373
All the time.

1146
00:59:42.165 --> 00:59:45.169
I wish you cared about
what we thought of you, Reef,

1147
00:59:45.252 --> 00:59:47.754
more than a bunch of people
on the Internet.

1148
00:59:50.549 --> 00:59:53.177
And the next time you do
a performative apology tour,

1149
00:59:53.260 --> 00:59:56.513
throw your two best friends on the list,
you sad fucking junkie.

1150
01:00:13.614 --> 01:00:15.324
Why are you still here?

1151
01:00:18.243 --> 01:00:21.496
I ordered food
and I already paid for it on the app.

1152
01:00:28.086 --> 01:00:30.672
Why did you stay my friend, Xander?

1153
01:00:39.056 --> 01:00:41.183
I hate emotions so fucking much.

1154
01:00:48.440 --> 01:00:49.733
When we were in high school,

1155
01:00:50.317 --> 01:00:52.736
every other word
out of everyone's mouth was "faggot."

1156
01:00:52.819 --> 01:00:53.779
Including mine.

1157
01:00:53.862 --> 01:00:57.032
And one time,
you slept over in tenth grade

1158
01:00:57.115 --> 01:00:59.743
and you asked me point-blank if I was gay.

1159
01:00:59.826 --> 01:01:03.956
And I denied it for hours
and we got into this big, screaming fight.

1160
01:01:04.039 --> 01:01:07.417
And you said to me...

1161
01:01:09.336 --> 01:01:11.880
You said you wouldn't not be my friend
if I was gay.

1162
01:01:13.549 --> 01:01:15.968
You would only not be my friend
if I was not myself.

1163
01:01:18.720 --> 01:01:20.848
Because that would be too hard to watch.

1164
01:01:27.563 --> 01:01:32.025
When you act gross like this,
I choose to remember that person.

1165
01:02:55.776 --> 01:02:57.402
There's three bags in there.

1166
01:03:42.739 --> 01:03:43.866
Hi.

1167
01:03:43.949 --> 01:03:45.492
Great to see you, Drew.

1168
01:03:46.827 --> 01:03:48.495
It's great to see you too.

1169
01:03:48.579 --> 01:03:50.581
Thank you for doing this, by the way.

1170
01:03:50.664 --> 01:03:51.790
I mean...

1171
01:03:52.416 --> 01:03:55.419
I've been thinking about you a lot lately

1172
01:03:55.502 --> 01:04:00.257
and how much our lives have paralleled

1173
01:04:00.340 --> 01:04:02.467
and the things we've been through.

1174
01:04:03.135 --> 01:04:07.347
It's a very, very unique experience.

1175
01:04:08.056 --> 01:04:09.516
Like when we were kids.

1176
01:04:11.977 --> 01:04:17.816
Like why did we do this,
and who did we do it for?

1177
01:04:18.609 --> 01:04:20.360
One minute to live air.

1178
01:04:21.278 --> 01:04:23.197
You know what's funny?

1179
01:04:25.407 --> 01:04:27.075
I didn't like you.

1180
01:04:28.160 --> 01:04:29.703
Is that funny?

1181
01:04:29.786 --> 01:04:32.372
You were always so smug. You know?

1182
01:04:32.456 --> 01:04:38.128
But then when Virginia called me
and told me what really is going on

1183
01:04:38.795 --> 01:04:42.799
and what you are surviving as a victim...

1184
01:04:43.383 --> 01:04:46.845
I mean, and the fact that you were
willing to talk about it

1185
01:04:46.929 --> 01:04:49.765
and share everything
and share it with the world...

1186
01:04:50.474 --> 01:04:52.518
I mean, you're a hero.

1187
01:04:52.601 --> 01:04:55.187
And I want to interview that hero.

1188
01:05:05.948 --> 01:05:07.241
It's gonna be great.

1189
01:05:08.742 --> 01:05:09.993
Yeah.

1190
01:05:15.457 --> 01:05:17.000
I'm going to leave.

1191
01:05:17.793 --> 01:05:19.086
What?

1192
01:05:19.586 --> 01:05:21.004
I'm gonna leave now.

1193
01:05:21.088 --> 01:05:23.632
- Thirty seconds to live air.
- Wait. No. You can't.

1194
01:05:23.715 --> 01:05:24.800
D... No, no.

1195
01:05:24.883 --> 01:05:26.051
We can talk about other thi...

1196
01:05:26.134 --> 01:05:27.427
- I mean, we need to talk about...
- Yeah.

1197
01:05:27.511 --> 01:05:29.721
- ...the thing but...
- I just don't wanna do this.

1198
01:05:30.305 --> 01:05:31.348
But you're here?

1199
01:05:31.431 --> 01:05:32.683
- Why would you do that?
- I'm really sorry.

1200
01:05:32.766 --> 01:05:34.268
- I'm really sorry, Drew.
- Did I say something?

1201
01:05:34.351 --> 01:05:35.185
No.

1202
01:05:35.269 --> 01:05:38.856
But, you cannot do this.
We're about to go to live TV in...

1203
01:05:38.939 --> 01:05:40.440
How many seconds?

1204
01:05:40.524 --> 01:05:41.567
Ten seconds to live air.

1205
01:05:41.650 --> 01:05:44.027
What the fuck are you doing, Reef?

1206
01:05:44.111 --> 01:05:45.571
God fucking damn it.

1207
01:05:45.654 --> 01:05:49.157
You fucked me! I will fuck you so hard!

1208
01:05:49.241 --> 01:05:52.369
I'll fucking go Ellen
on all you motherfuckers!

1209
01:05:53.078 --> 01:05:54.663
Bubbi, hey, it fucking worked.

1210
01:05:54.746 --> 01:05:56.623
Ira, I'm leaving.

1211
01:05:56.707 --> 01:05:57.916
No, you don't understand.

1212
01:05:58.000 --> 01:05:59.084
It worked.

1213
01:05:59.751 --> 01:06:01.461
What worked? I didn't do the interview.

1214
01:06:01.545 --> 01:06:03.589
Yeah, no shit. You didn't have to.

1215
01:06:03.672 --> 01:06:05.549
And I knew that
even threatening a live interview

1216
01:06:05.632 --> 01:06:07.384
would force their hand and it fucking did.

1217
01:06:07.467 --> 01:06:10.929
It's just some random nobody who found
the video on his ex-girlfriend's computer.

1218
01:06:11.013 --> 01:06:14.892
They caved.
I got him from 15 mil down to 35K.

1219
01:06:14.975 --> 01:06:16.768
35K

1220
01:06:16.852 --> 01:06:19.938
and this is all behind you
for the rest of your life.

1221
01:06:26.195 --> 01:06:27.529
Hello?

1222
01:06:32.242 --> 01:06:33.410
I don't know.

1223
01:06:36.413 --> 01:06:38.081
Fuck do you mean, "I don't know"?

1224
01:06:39.124 --> 01:06:42.753
I just wanted all of this to go away.

1225
01:06:45.130 --> 01:06:48.467
And now that it's right here
in front of me...

1226
01:06:52.471 --> 01:06:54.556
It's just so fucking wrong.

1227
01:07:09.154 --> 01:07:12.699
Bubbi, it's 35K. It's a fucking 4Runner.

1228
01:07:17.704 --> 01:07:18.914
You pay it.

1229
01:07:21.416 --> 01:07:23.085
It's the cosmic tax.

1230
01:08:27.399 --> 01:08:28.233
<i>Hey.</i>

1231
01:08:28.317 --> 01:08:29.943
<i>This is so crazy.</i>

1232
01:08:30.819 --> 01:08:31.819
<i>Yeah, I guess.</i>

1233
01:08:31.904 --> 01:08:35.490
<i>I mean, you're Reef Hawk,
and you're talking to me.</i>

1234
01:08:35.573 --> 01:08:38.577
- <i>Like, what?</i>
- <i>Yeah, I don't know.</i>

1235
01:08:38.660 --> 01:08:40.412
<i>You're a huge movie star, dude.</i>

1236
01:08:40.495 --> 01:08:43.122
<i>Like, shouldn't you be at
a big party or something?</i>

1237
01:08:44.124 --> 01:08:47.419
<i>I mean, I've been shooting
in Albuquerque for, like, six months.</i>

1238
01:08:47.502 --> 01:08:51.048
<i>Living in this... hotel room.</i>

1239
01:08:52.424 --> 01:08:56.845
<i>I guess I'm a little lonely or something.</i>

1240
01:08:57.930 --> 01:08:59.180
<i>That's no good.</i>

1241
01:09:01.558 --> 01:09:07.481
<i>Don't you have, like, a wife or kids
or a family or something?</i>

1242
01:09:09.858 --> 01:09:10.859
<i>No.</i>

1243
01:09:12.736 --> 01:09:13.737
<i>No, I don't.</i>

1244
01:09:18.116 --> 01:09:19.117
<i>Why not?</i>

1245
01:09:22.703 --> 01:09:23.747
<i>Why not?</i>

1246
01:09:29.169 --> 01:09:30.420
<i>I guess...</i>

1247
01:09:34.508 --> 01:09:38.386
<i>I guess, when it came time to do that, I...</i>

1248
01:09:40.889 --> 01:09:47.770
<i>I always chose something else
I thought was bigger or more important.</i>

1249
01:09:56.071 --> 01:09:57.364
<i>That's really sad.</i>

1250
01:10:06.415 --> 01:10:07.791
<i>Do you wanna see my tits?</i>

1251
01:10:09.626 --> 01:10:10.627
<i>Sure.</i>

1252
01:10:44.161 --> 01:10:45.412
You have kind eyes.

1253
01:10:47.539 --> 01:10:48.540
Thank you.

1254
01:10:50.209 --> 01:10:51.627
I just need you for two minutes outside?

1255
01:10:51.710 --> 01:10:53.378
- Yeah.
- Okay, great.

1256
01:11:00.052 --> 01:11:02.179
Gail, can you call valet
and have their cars pulled up?

1257
01:11:08.018 --> 01:11:13.899
You know, I've thought and fantasized
about what I would do or say to you

1258
01:11:13.982 --> 01:11:15.359
if I ever had the chance.

1259
01:11:25.744 --> 01:11:26.828
Do you hate me?

1260
01:11:32.668 --> 01:11:34.837
No. No, I don't... I don't hate you.

1261
01:11:38.131 --> 01:11:39.758
I love you, man.

1262
01:11:46.056 --> 01:11:47.057
I'm just broke.

1263
01:12:27.931 --> 01:12:32.686
There aren't words
for what you mean to me,

1264
01:12:33.729 --> 01:12:40.652
and the shame I feel
for what I put you through.

1265
01:12:50.245 --> 01:12:51.622
You're my whole life.

1266
01:12:58.879 --> 01:13:00.964
But it's not about me.

1267
01:13:12.142 --> 01:13:13.644
I'm sorry.

1268
01:13:16.730 --> 01:13:18.023
I forgive you.

1269
01:13:19.983 --> 01:13:21.235
I forgive you too.

1270
01:13:25.656 --> 01:13:26.949
Hey.

1271
01:13:28.951 --> 01:13:29.952
I'm sorry.

1272
01:13:32.538 --> 01:13:33.622
Do you need a hug?

1273
01:13:34.122 --> 01:13:35.582
Yeah?

1274
01:13:36.458 --> 01:13:37.584
There we go.

1275
01:13:37.668 --> 01:13:38.919
I love you, guys.

1276
01:13:39.753 --> 01:13:41.046
Thank you, Reef.

1277
01:14:12.286 --> 01:14:13.745
<i>Hello?</i>

1278
01:14:13.829 --> 01:14:15.789
Hey, hi.

1279
01:14:16.874 --> 01:14:17.958
<i>Who is this?</i>

1280
01:14:18.041 --> 01:14:19.293
It's Reef.

1281
01:14:20.085 --> 01:14:22.546
<i>Reef. Reef?</i>

1282
01:14:23.213 --> 01:14:24.798
What can I do for you, Reef?

1283
01:14:25.424 --> 01:14:27.426
I'm just calling to see how your day is.

1284
01:14:28.510 --> 01:14:29.970
What do you mean?

1285
01:14:30.053 --> 01:14:32.014
I mean, how's your day?

1286
01:14:32.097 --> 01:14:35.309
Like, how are the events of your day?

1287
01:14:35.392 --> 01:14:37.603
What do you mean, how's my day?
How are the events of my day?

1288
01:14:37.686 --> 01:14:39.062
What does that mean?

1289
01:14:39.730 --> 01:14:41.607
I'm just asking how your day is.

1290
01:14:41.690 --> 01:14:44.026
Like, what you did, and how it is.

1291
01:14:44.109 --> 01:14:46.069
What the fuck do you mean, how is my day?

1292
01:14:46.153 --> 01:14:48.155
<i>What do you want, Reef? What's your angle?</i>

1293
01:14:48.238 --> 01:14:52.117
Red, I'm calling to see
how your day is going.

1294
01:14:53.202 --> 01:14:55.120
Like, how you are.

1295
01:14:55.204 --> 01:14:56.538
Like, how you're doing.

1296
01:15:02.961 --> 01:15:04.171
Well, thanks.

1297
01:15:05.672 --> 01:15:07.216
How I'm doing? I'm just hanging out.

1298
01:15:07.716 --> 01:15:08.759
That's all I'm doing.

1299
01:15:09.510 --> 01:15:10.511
Nice.

1300
01:15:11.512 --> 01:15:12.971
That's awesome.

1301
01:15:13.055 --> 01:15:14.890
<i>Yeah, but there's n--
You know, nothing crazy.</i>

1302
01:15:15.557 --> 01:15:18.560
- Same old.
- <i>Yeah, yeah.</i>

1303
01:15:19.520 --> 01:15:20.521
<i>Same.</i>

1304
01:15:21.230 --> 01:15:24.983
<i>Not a whole lot here today either.</i>

1305
01:15:25.984 --> 01:15:28.070
Well, that's nice. That's nice.

1306
01:16:36.680 --> 01:16:38.182 line:5%
- Girl. Girl, girl, girl.
- Oh, my--

1307
01:16:38.265 --> 01:16:39.933 line:5%
- We got this. We got this.
- Who are you?

1308
01:16:40.017 --> 01:16:41.852 line:5%
The second most interesting bitch
in this room.

1309
01:16:41.935 --> 01:16:43.061 line:5%
Trust.

1310
01:16:43.145 --> 01:16:45.147 line:5%
Three, two, one.

1311
01:16:45.898 --> 01:16:48.233
Good evening and welcome to

1312
01:16:48.317 --> 01:16:52.279
the prime-time special edition of
<i>The Drew Barrymore Show</i>.

1313
01:16:52.362 --> 01:16:56.491
We begin tonight with
a gentleman I do not know.

1314
01:16:56.575 --> 01:16:57.993
Hi, Xander Alexander.

1315
01:16:58.076 --> 01:17:01.205
Huge fan
and you soon will be of mine as well.

1316
01:17:01.830 --> 01:17:05.792
So much of your show is about your guests
coming on here and unloading on your tits.

1317
01:17:05.876 --> 01:17:10.422
And I just want you to know that today,
I'm here to take that load for you.

1318
01:17:10.964 --> 01:17:15.177
Well, let's get the tissues out
and do this right now.

1319
01:17:15.260 --> 01:17:16.136
Yes.

1320
01:17:16.220 --> 01:17:19.389
First of all, I don't know if you know
anything about my past

1321
01:17:19.473 --> 01:17:22.226
but, you know, <i>E.T.</i> changed my life.

1322
01:17:22.309 --> 01:17:25.521
Actually, I always thought it was "<i>et</i>."
You know, like French?

1323
01:17:25.604 --> 01:17:27.856
Never seen it before, saw the poster.

1324
01:17:27.940 --> 01:17:30.234
Know how relevant it is,
know how important it is.

1325
01:17:30.317 --> 01:17:32.778
From what I understand, it's about you
and a bunch of other little kids

1326
01:17:32.861 --> 01:17:36.198
finding a little old Jewish guy
and taking him for a ride on a bicycle.

1327
01:17:36.281 --> 01:17:38.450
The bald guy, you just
put a blanket on him

1328
01:17:38.534 --> 01:17:39.952
and take him for a ride on a bicycle.

1329
01:17:40.702 --> 01:17:41.703
Again, I haven't seen it.

1330
01:17:42.538 --> 01:17:45.082
I've only seen <i>Call Me by Your Name</i>
and <i>The Notebook</i>.

1331
01:23:35.182 --> 01:23:37.643
<i>I'm Reef Hawk
and I got staph in the sauna.</i>