1
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,915
♪ Light as a feather
Stiff as a board
2
00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:52,885
♪ I'm-a elevate myself
on my own accord
3
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:56,839
♪ Ain't nobody's business
Who's life is this?
4
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,592
♪ You question my existence
I'm-a read you the list
5
00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:02,728
♪ I'll keep you on your toes
That's just how it goes
6
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,932
♪ You can deal with the lows
Just keep dodging the blows
7
00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:09,268
♪ So I'm-a do me
Who else do I be?
8
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:12,405
♪ 'Cause I create
my own destiny
9
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:15,825
♪ I'm-a take back the world
Yo, you got this, girl
10
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:18,911
♪ I'm steppin' up my game
I'll keep repeating the same
11
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,497
♪ Be on my hustle
every minute of the day
12
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,500
♪ It was mine
for the taking anyways
13
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,002
♪ I'm-a take back the world ♪
14
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,653
How come you always look
so great in the morning?
15
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,155
Do I? Aw.
16
00:02:43,947 --> 00:02:44,948
Got to go, babe.
17
00:02:44,948 --> 00:02:46,833
Oh! I made
tempeh sausage.
18
00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:00,012
Hey, so, I was thinking
that maybe you'd want to be my date
19
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,432
to my sister's wedding.
20
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,300
There's
a vegetarian alternative. I already checked.
21
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:08,771
Are your parents
going to be there?
22
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:13,109
At my sister's wedding?
I think so.
23
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,611
I don't know. It just
feels a little serious.
24
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:18,114
Oh.
25
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,616
I'm sorry, it just...
26
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,118
It felt kind of
serious last night
27
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:23,619
when you were
doing me from behind,
28
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,988
but I couldn't
see your face, so...
29
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,465
You know, if you ever want
to just hook up, you can call me.
30
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:40,970
Oh, thank you, Rick.
That's very generous of you.
31
00:03:42,005 --> 00:03:44,007
Yeah.
32
00:03:44,007 --> 00:03:45,508
See you around.
33
00:03:46,509 --> 00:03:48,344
Keep it green.
34
00:03:48,344 --> 00:03:50,846
♪ I roll with the punches
Take 'em as they come
35
00:03:50,847 --> 00:03:53,766
♪ There's some disappointment
But what's the point
36
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,987
WOMAN: Colin, hurry up.
37
00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,823
♪ Take a break for a sec
Prepare for what's coming next
38
00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:02,825
♪ I'm-a take back the world
39
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,945
DAISY:Ally, I could have told you
40
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,331
it wasn't going to
work out with Rick two months ago.
41
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:09,832
Why?
42
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:12,334
You love meat,
you hate cyclists.
43
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,336
I do love meat.
44
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,787
And to be honest,
45
00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:16,288
I was always a little
worried about the way
46
00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:18,207
he kept wanting to
do it doggy style.
47
00:04:18,207 --> 00:04:20,709
Some people like that,
you know.
48
00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:22,261
No, nobody likes it.
49
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,297
Even the dogs are just waiting
for it to be over.
50
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:27,933
How many relationships
do I have to have before I meet the right guy?
51
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,435
Evidently a lot.
52
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:33,639
Hi. Hi, I'm the bride.
I'm Daisy. If you could just...
53
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,060
♪ I'm-a take back the world
Yo, you got this, girl
54
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:40,529
♪ I'm steppin' up my game
I'll keep repeating the same
55
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,032
♪ Be on my hustle
every minute of the day
56
00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:44,700
♪ Never let it get away
57
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:48,204
♪ I'm staying motivated
Keep it uncomplicated
58
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:52,708
♪ Nothing in between
me and my dream
59
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,495
♪ Be on my hustle
every minute of the day
60
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,330
♪ It was mine
for the taking anyways
61
00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,048
♪ I'm-a take back the world ♪
62
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,549
Hi.
63
00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:03,836
Hi, guys.
64
00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:05,337
Hi.
Hi.
65
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:09,392
Right now.
Thinking or smelling?
66
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,310
Ooh, no doubt smelling.
67
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,979
Oh, he's
obviously thinking.
68
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,931
Whatever she's saying
is thought-provoking.
69
00:05:15,932 --> 00:05:18,734
That would be true
if she's talking about what his finger smells like.
70
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:26,693
Ally.
71
00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:27,943
Hi.
72
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,867
Jet Li is not
related to Bruce Lee.
73
00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:36,869
Lee is a very common
Chinese last name.
74
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,538
They both know kung fu,
but that's the...
75
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:43,092
Keep your coat on.
76
00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,377
Okay, hold...
I got to call you back.
77
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:53,102
Sweetheart,
we have to let you go.
78
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:57,055
I'm sorry,
but we had to make some painful cuts.
79
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,112
Who else
is getting fired?
80
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:05,063
Well, for now,
81
00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:07,616
just you.
82
00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:24,834
Oy!
83
00:06:32,341 --> 00:06:36,345
Hi, Mom,
can I call you right back? I'm in a meeting. Okay.
84
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,321
Mmm.
85
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,191
Not necessary.
86
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,161
No.
87
00:06:55,198 --> 00:06:56,199
Oh.
88
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,507
10.5? Holy shit!
89
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,010
I'm sorry.
90
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,595
It just says here,
the average number of lovers
91
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,432
women have in
their lifetime is 10.5.
92
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,718
Yeah, that seems very high.
93
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,637
High? No, that's low!
94
00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:20,139
10.5 is low!
95
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,058
Whatever you say.
96
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,493
Valerio!
97
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,851
Oh! Finally!
98
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,352
Hi, Mom.
99
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,271
Ow.
100
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,772
Oh, sorry.
101
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,524
Sorry, the train was late.
You look great.
102
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,645
I'm growing out my bangs.
103
00:08:49,645 --> 00:08:51,146
Mmm.
104
00:08:51,147 --> 00:08:53,149
Oh, where is Rick?
105
00:08:53,149 --> 00:08:56,035
Rick's on a business trip,
for his business.
106
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,487
Oh, nuts!
I was looking forward to finally meeting him.
107
00:08:58,487 --> 00:09:00,489
At least this one
doesn't make balloon animals.
108
00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:03,909
Why aren't you wearing
the dress I bought you?
109
00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:06,212
This is
the dress you bought me.
110
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,464
What? It looked very different
on the mannequin.
111
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:10,917
Is Daisy upstairs?
112
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,418
Yes, she is.
She is a wreck!
113
00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:13,919
Okay. I'm gonna
go check on her.
114
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,921
Please do.
115
00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:18,925
Oh, your cousin
Beau is here.
116
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,343
Step-cousin.
117
00:09:20,343 --> 00:09:23,346
He's a step-cousin.
We're not even really related.
118
00:09:25,848 --> 00:09:27,349
Beau.
119
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:29,819
Hi.
120
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:31,820
Oh, thank God
you're here.
121
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,607
Mom has been such a bitch
ever since Eddie's parents got here.
122
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:38,077
She just cannot believe
that her marriage ended before theirs did.
123
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,579
Well, Dad should
be here soon,
124
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,497
so she'll have someone else
to focus her hatred on.
125
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:45,117
Um, Dad's not coming.
She wouldn't let me invite him here.
126
00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:47,202
Are you inviting
him to the wedding?
127
00:09:47,203 --> 00:09:49,088
I don't know.
128
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,089
Oh.
129
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,545
Hey, what was
Creepy Puppet Guy's actual name?
130
00:09:57,046 --> 00:09:59,098
You mean the guy
who lived next door who was obsessed with me?
131
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,099
Gerry Perry.
132
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,101
Gerry Perry! Thank you.
133
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:06,939
What are you writing?
134
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,109
Nothing,
just some notes for my toast.
135
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,477
Is it gonna rhyme?
136
00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:13,729
That depends.
What rhymes with "orgy"?
137
00:10:13,729 --> 00:10:15,864
You just keep it
under three minutes. Ready?
138
00:10:16,232 --> 00:10:17,233
You look amazing.
139
00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:18,734
Thank you.
140
00:10:18,734 --> 00:10:20,235
You go ahead.
I'll be down in a couple of minutes.
141
00:10:20,236 --> 00:10:21,737
Okay.
142
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,658
Eight, nine, 10, 11,
143
00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,793
12, 13, 14, 15,
144
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:32,131
16, 17, 18, 19.
145
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,635
Holy shit. 19?
146
00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:48,814
May I have your attention,
please?
147
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,151
Oh, yoo-hoo!
148
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,654
Can I have your attention,
please? I want to thank you all,
149
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,657
each and every one...
Huh.
150
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,658
Cute.
151
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,580
Beau.
152
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,919
Careful.
He can be a little rough on the nipples.
153
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,371
...to celebrate
my dream come true,
154
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:15,257
the engagement of
Daisy and Eddie.
155
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:16,258
Ooh.
156
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,460
As most of you know,
we are a family
157
00:11:18,461 --> 00:11:20,463
that likes to
toast one another.
158
00:11:20,463 --> 00:11:24,967
So, to start the ball rolling,
Daisy's big sister... Ally?
159
00:11:25,968 --> 00:11:26,969
Ally.
160
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,524
ALLY: Hello.
161
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,360
Hello.
162
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:48,290
When Daisy first told me
that she was dating Eddie,
163
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,157
I couldn't believe it.
164
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:51,126
GUESTS: Aw!
165
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:54,713
I said, "Eddie Vogel?
166
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,216
"The schmuck you went out with
in high school?
167
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,084
"He was the biggest douche-bag
of them all."
168
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,255
Even worse than Baby Hands.
You guys remember him?
169
00:12:04,673 --> 00:12:06,141
Baby Hands.
170
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,262
You know how Eddie
broke up with her?
171
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:12,264
He started dating
her best friend,
172
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:13,898
who's here tonight,
by the way.
173
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,734
Sheila, stand up.
174
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,908
But...
175
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:25,410
But
176
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:29,915
when Eddie saw Daisy
at their high school reunion,
177
00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:32,417
he knew what a big
mistake he had made.
178
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,420
No offense, Sheila.
179
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,455
And now, Eddie's amazing.
180
00:12:36,455 --> 00:12:38,457
You wouldn't even know
he's the same guy.
181
00:12:38,457 --> 00:12:41,510
Except he looks
exactly the same.
182
00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:47,800
God! I wish I went
to my high school reunion,
183
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,552
but I was
growing out my bangs.
184
00:12:50,553 --> 00:12:53,772
I'm always
growing out my bangs. Don't get bangs.
185
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,863
Well, to Daisy and Eddie!
186
00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:04,983
It's okay. It's okay.
187
00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:15,494
SHEILA: Okay,
to Daisy and Eddie and the end of your life.
188
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:16,996
To Daisy and Eddie.
189
00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:19,381
ALL: To Daisy and Eddie.
To me.
190
00:13:22,251 --> 00:13:23,969
Okay, it's party game time!
191
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,470
Oh, a game? Really?
192
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:26,755
Absolutely!
193
00:13:26,755 --> 00:13:30,759
But which one?
God, what to play? What to play?
194
00:13:30,759 --> 00:13:33,344
Ooh! Let's write down
the number of people we slept with.
195
00:13:33,345 --> 00:13:34,729
Great idea, Katie.
What?
196
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:38,650
Okay, we just need paper
and more drinks. Be right back.
197
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:46,992
Of all the gin joints
in all the towns.
198
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:50,996
Of all the cliches
in all the world.
199
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:54,866
Wow. I didn't know you were
gonna take getting fired so hard.
200
00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:58,871
I don't have to laugh
at your jokes anymore because you're not my boss.
201
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:01,874
Let me buy you these drinks.
I feel really bad about today.
202
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:03,709
Really?
203
00:14:04,126 --> 00:14:06,128
Thanks. I can't
afford them anyway.
204
00:14:06,128 --> 00:14:07,512
Can I be honest
with you?
205
00:14:07,963 --> 00:14:10,298
You never seemed
to like marketing anyhow.
206
00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:11,266
I liked it.
207
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,635
Yeah, but you
didn't love it.
208
00:14:13,135 --> 00:14:14,636
I guess I did you a favor.
209
00:14:15,137 --> 00:14:19,391
Now you can go get
a job that you love with a boss who you, uh, like.
210
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,777
I like you.
211
00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:24,112
Really? How much?
212
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:28,400
She bought the whole bottle,
didn't she?
213
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:33,455
ALLY: Okay, so just write down
the number of guys you've slept with
214
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,956
and put it in this glass,
215
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:38,377
and then we'll
pick out the number and guess who it belongs to.
216
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,878
Daisy, you go first.
217
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:40,996
Yeah.
218
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,299
Four.
219
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:44,883
Oh! That's me.
Yay!
220
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:46,885
No, no, no, that's not
how you're supposed to play the game.
221
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,837
We're supposed to guess.
222
00:14:48,837 --> 00:14:50,839
Who wasn't gonna guess Katie?
She married Matt when she was, like, 12.
223
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:52,424
I'm surprised
you've had that many.
224
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:53,425
Well...
225
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,344
ALLY: Katie,
your turn, let's go.
226
00:14:56,845 --> 00:14:59,848
Eight. Eight... Daisy.
227
00:14:59,848 --> 00:15:02,851
Yes, and I am twice
the woman you are.
228
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:04,936
Six.
229
00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:07,322
Jamie?
Yep, that's me.
230
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,274
Wait a second,
you're a seven.
231
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:10,992
I never had sex
with Lars.
232
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,494
Yes, you did.
233
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:15,030
No. He only stuck
it in just a little, so it doesn't count.
234
00:15:15,030 --> 00:15:16,414
How much was it in?
235
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,200
This much.
236
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,701
What is that?
That tells me nothing.
237
00:15:19,702 --> 00:15:21,420
I've no idea
how big Lars' penis is.
238
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,255
I do. Counts.
239
00:15:23,622 --> 00:15:25,624
Okay. How much needs to go in
to be considered sex?
240
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:27,509
Anything more
than the tip.
241
00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,844
Fine, I'm a seven.
I mean, eight.
242
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:32,014
Shit! Nine!
Atta girl.
243
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,181
Okay, Jamie, you go.
244
00:15:35,217 --> 00:15:36,718
Hmm.
245
00:15:36,719 --> 00:15:37,970
Thirteen.
246
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:39,972
KATIE:Thirteen?
Who here is a 13?
247
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,223
Me.
248
00:15:41,223 --> 00:15:42,857
Whore!
Trashy girl. Slut.
249
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,776
KATIE: Sheila!
JAMIE: Slut!
250
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:46,778
Slutty whore!
251
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,363
What is the big deal?
252
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,617
That is 13 different
penises in one vagina.
253
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,453
SHEILA: It's not like
they were all in there at the same time.
254
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:57,873
You know what?
I'm done with this. Ally, you go.
255
00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,875
Okay.
256
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,463
Go, go,
go, go.
257
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,053
Oh!
258
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,422
Wow, look at that, nine.
259
00:16:13,422 --> 00:16:15,424
I drew myself. Game over.
260
00:16:15,424 --> 00:16:17,392
Wait. A one.
Is this yours?
261
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,596
Uh...
Oh, my God.
262
00:16:20,596 --> 00:16:22,064
You're at 91.
263
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:24,566
No! I'm at nine!
264
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:26,568
You're at 19.
265
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:27,735
KATIE: Nineteen!
266
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:32,574
Hello, friend.
267
00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:34,525
Fine, I admit it. I'm at 19,
268
00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:37,529
almost twice the national
average. It's bad!
269
00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:41,032
And look at this, there's
even a whole article in Marie Claire about it.
270
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:42,501
I thought that
playing this game
271
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,336
would make me feel
better about my number,
272
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,705
but now I think
the homeless lady on the train was right.
273
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:47,706
It's high!
274
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:49,841
Apparently in America,
96% of women
275
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:53,846
who have been with
20 or more lovers can't find a husband.
276
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,797
It actually says 20?
Mmm-hmm.
277
00:16:55,798 --> 00:16:57,049
Who cares?
Who did that study anyway?
278
00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:59,434
The scientists over there
at Marie Claire magazine?
279
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:02,554
Hey, that magazine
taught me how to orgasm.
280
00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:05,356
Actually, that study
was conducted by Dr. Helen Fig,
281
00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:08,226
a postdoctoral fellow
at Harvard University.
282
00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:09,394
Shit!
283
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:11,397
I see it in my practice
all the time.
284
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:12,898
When you're too
sexually available,
285
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,399
it messes with
your self-esteem.
286
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,404
Next thing you know,
you're 45 with no self-respect, no husband,
287
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,372
and no muscle tone
in your pelvic floor.
288
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,743
Okay. Well, that is
not gonna happen to me.
289
00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:26,711
Harvard says that
20 is the limit.
290
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:30,215
I'm at 19,
so that gives me one more chance.
291
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,218
Okay.
292
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,836
I'm gonna make a proclamation.
293
00:17:36,338 --> 00:17:38,340
Shut up! I'm proclamating.
294
00:17:39,842 --> 00:17:42,845
Okay.
I am not gonna sleep with one more guy
295
00:17:42,845 --> 00:17:45,480
until I am sure
he's the one.
296
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,815
I may not have
control over much,
297
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:50,235
but I do have control
over my pelvic floor.
298
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:53,271
The next guy who vacations
at casa esperanza
299
00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:55,273
is going to be my husband.
300
00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:56,658
All right.
Yeah.
301
00:17:56,658 --> 00:18:00,161
To taking control
of my own destiny.
302
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,664
ALL: To taking control!
303
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:11,122
To better decision-making
and goal-following-through.
304
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,926
To better
decision-making and goals!
305
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,012
To 20!
306
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,380
ALL: To 20!
307
00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:02,173
Oh, shit.
308
00:19:11,266 --> 00:19:14,269
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
309
00:19:18,607 --> 00:19:19,608
Hi.
310
00:19:20,108 --> 00:19:21,609
I slept with my ex-boss.
311
00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:22,410
Carol?
312
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,780
No! The job
I just got fired from.
313
00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:26,281
You got fired?
314
00:19:26,281 --> 00:19:27,665
This is your fault.
315
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:30,335
When I tried to get you
to leave the bar last night, you spit on me.
316
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:31,669
But congratulations.
317
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,172
You said 20 is your husband.
Now you're at 20.
318
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,674
Shut up.
I have to admit
319
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,126
that I just did not think
it was gonna happen this quickly,
320
00:19:38,126 --> 00:19:39,544
but I'm so excited.
321
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:42,047
Hey, Eddie,
Ally's gonna get married.
322
00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:43,849
Great.
He's thrilled.
323
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,768
I know you're
just being a bitch, but maybe he is my husband.
324
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:50,138
Maybe it's fate. Now we've
got a great story to tell our grandkids.
325
00:19:52,975 --> 00:19:55,978
I don't know why I never
considered him before.
326
00:20:02,985 --> 00:20:04,786
He's not my husband.
327
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:11,910
Morning.
Morning.
328
00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:13,211
Hey,
you're out of toilet paper.
329
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,129
Okay.
330
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:15,631
Oh, did you
make coffee?
331
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,000
No. There's a Starbucks
on your way to the T.
332
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,003
Oh, that's okay.
Did you get the newspaper?
333
00:20:21,003 --> 00:20:22,004
No, no, I don't get that.
334
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:27,092
Morning, 6-C.
That's not mine.
335
00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:30,095
Okay. I locked myself
out of my apartment.
336
00:20:30,095 --> 00:20:32,597
My keys and wallet,
everything, it's over there.
337
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:33,482
Can I use your phone?
338
00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:36,234
Sure, of course,
let me just get that.
339
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,603
Hey, Roger,
why don't we talk later?
340
00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:40,522
Because I think 6-A
really needs my help.
341
00:20:40,522 --> 00:20:42,023
Colin.
Hi.
342
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,825
Nice to meet you.
Yeah.
343
00:20:47,446 --> 00:20:48,747
So,
344
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,499
how about
some dinner tonight?
345
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,869
Tonight, tonight?
Mmm-hmm.
346
00:20:55,370 --> 00:20:57,872
Oh, we have that
tenants' meeting tonight.
347
00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:01,509
Oh! That's right.
Tenants' meeting.
348
00:21:03,545 --> 00:21:06,764
Oh, we're trying to get
this very loud bird evicted.
349
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:11,970
But why don't I call you later
and we'll figure out
350
00:21:11,970 --> 00:21:16,474
maybe another time
that we can get together.
351
00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:17,309
Okay.
352
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:28,319
ALLY: Bye.
353
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:37,212
Hi, I'm Roger.
354
00:21:37,212 --> 00:21:39,214
Hey, do you think the woman
coming out of your apartment
355
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,716
could have helped you
with the "being locked out" problem?
356
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:46,137
Okay.
357
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:49,141
Uh, I had a little situation
that I needed to get out of,
358
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,226
not unlike your
situation here, so I...
359
00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:53,228
Lied to her,
then lied to me?
360
00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:56,264
I look at it as trying
to avoid hurt feelings.
361
00:21:57,766 --> 00:21:58,566
Wow.
362
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:00,485
This is pretty cool.
Where'd you get this?
363
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,936
I made it.
364
00:22:02,938 --> 00:22:03,939
No shit.
365
00:22:03,939 --> 00:22:04,940
Shit.
366
00:22:04,940 --> 00:22:06,691
Listen, I don't want
to have anything to do
367
00:22:06,692 --> 00:22:09,578
with your crusade to sleep
with every woman in Boston, okay?
368
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:11,246
They're kind of
like my sisters.
369
00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:13,498
Wow. I thought you'd
be cooler than this.
370
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:15,333
I saw that toast
you made on YouTube.
371
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,835
Seemed like you had
a good sense of humor.
372
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:19,954
Those bitches put my toast up
on YouTube?
373
00:22:19,955 --> 00:22:21,456
How did you see it already?
374
00:22:21,456 --> 00:22:24,008
I got everybody
in the building on Google Alert.
375
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:27,045
I come from a family of cops,
it's in my nature to dig up dirt.
376
00:22:27,045 --> 00:22:29,881
Guy in 4-D tried
to marry his dog.
377
00:22:29,881 --> 00:22:31,299
No! Bandit?
378
00:22:31,299 --> 00:22:32,800
Oh, yeah.
379
00:22:32,801 --> 00:22:37,305
All right, well, looks
like the coast is clear.
380
00:22:37,305 --> 00:22:39,307
Thank you. You're a peach.
381
00:22:39,307 --> 00:22:40,141
You're a pig.
382
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,366
Mmm.
383
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,953
This is good.
384
00:22:51,953 --> 00:22:55,539
Okay, okay, that's enough.
I think the idea is just to taste them.
385
00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:58,043
Why? Nobody's ever gonna
see me naked again.
386
00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,044
I might as well enjoy myself.
387
00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:02,547
Yeah, like you're
really gonna be celibate.
388
00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:05,550
I don't have a choice.
I said I was gonna stop at 20,
389
00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:09,053
and now, thanks to
that finger-smelling fuck, I'm at 20.
390
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,056
Just promise me
you're not gonna put me at the singles' table
391
00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:13,891
with Sheila and her mom.
Please.
392
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:16,394
Seating is
really complicated.
393
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,896
Oh, my God.
394
00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,900
Wait.
395
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,518
Does that guy
look familiar to you?
396
00:23:23,518 --> 00:23:24,902
No.
397
00:23:26,354 --> 00:23:27,855
Oh, shit!
398
00:23:27,856 --> 00:23:29,858
What?
399
00:23:29,858 --> 00:23:33,361
That's Disgusting Donald!
I dated him.
400
00:23:34,863 --> 00:23:35,864
Did I ever meet him?
401
00:23:35,864 --> 00:23:37,365
No! Nobody did.
402
00:23:39,367 --> 00:23:42,503
He's the reason
I learned to cook.
403
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:46,508
We have
nothing to eat! Honey, let's go out tonight.
404
00:23:48,009 --> 00:23:52,013
I don't know. There's just
so many people out there.
405
00:23:52,013 --> 00:23:53,514
Come on. I want to try
406
00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:55,517
the new Korean
barbecue place everyone's talking about.
407
00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:58,019
I can make Korean barbecue.
Easy. What do we need?
408
00:23:58,019 --> 00:24:01,188
Uh, a table with
a grill built into it.
409
00:24:01,189 --> 00:24:05,193
That guy doesn't
look disgusting at all. He's actually kind of cute.
410
00:24:05,193 --> 00:24:06,694
I know, but I really
think it's him.
411
00:24:07,195 --> 00:24:09,564
All right,
well, go say hi and see.
412
00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:15,787
Mmm.
413
00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:24,128
Ally?
414
00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:25,296
Donald?
415
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:26,298
Oh, my gosh.
416
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,299
It is you.
Hi.
417
00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:32,086
Hi. I can't believe it.
I cannot believe it.
418
00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:33,921
Yeah, well...
419
00:24:36,424 --> 00:24:39,677
Oh, Ally,
please meet my fiancee, Cara.
420
00:24:39,678 --> 00:24:41,062
Hi.
This is Ally.
421
00:24:41,062 --> 00:24:42,012
Nice to meet you.
422
00:24:42,013 --> 00:24:43,097
You, too.
423
00:24:43,098 --> 00:24:47,569
Wow.
So, how did you guys meet?
424
00:24:48,937 --> 00:24:51,489
At a conference.
At a conference.
425
00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:53,492
Can you believe it?
She's a rocket scientist.
426
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:55,243
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
427
00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:58,246
I'm actually just an engineer,
but he loves to say that.
428
00:24:58,246 --> 00:24:59,413
You know,
I'm not the typical...
429
00:24:59,414 --> 00:25:01,416
I get it.
430
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,918
Ally and I are old friends.
431
00:25:05,871 --> 00:25:07,372
What are you doing here?
432
00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:11,877
Oh, I'm just tasting some cake
433
00:25:12,377 --> 00:25:14,796
for my wedding.
434
00:25:14,796 --> 00:25:16,597
Oh!
I'm marrying a scientist, too.
435
00:25:17,966 --> 00:25:20,768
Yeah, he doesn't
look smart either.
436
00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:22,270
I'm here with my sister
437
00:25:22,270 --> 00:25:25,606
because he's up
in the North Pole
438
00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:27,609
dealing with
the whole icecap situation.
439
00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:29,777
Oh.
Yeah.
440
00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:32,363
He's probably gonna fix it.
441
00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,366
I can't believe that he said
that we were just friends.
442
00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:35,867
Like I was the embarrassment!
443
00:25:36,284 --> 00:25:38,569
He had man boobs,
big hairy ones.
444
00:25:38,570 --> 00:25:40,071
God! I can't believe
it's the same guy.
445
00:25:40,071 --> 00:25:42,073
He looks so good now.
He even looks taller.
446
00:25:42,073 --> 00:25:43,574
A lot of men get
better with age.
447
00:25:43,575 --> 00:25:46,077
I mean, you said it yourself,
Eddie used to be a total douche.
448
00:25:46,077 --> 00:25:47,545
People change.
449
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:50,999
You're right.
450
00:25:50,999 --> 00:25:52,250
Daisy, you're a genius.
451
00:25:52,250 --> 00:25:53,968
I don't have to be celibate
or go over 20.
452
00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:55,670
What do you mean?
453
00:25:55,670 --> 00:25:58,673
Donald can't be my only ex
who's gotten better with time.
454
00:25:58,673 --> 00:26:00,391
Okay.
455
00:26:01,092 --> 00:26:02,309
Love you.
456
00:26:14,105 --> 00:26:15,106
Right.
457
00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:22,914
Okay. Huh!
458
00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:24,665
Jake Adams' dad.
459
00:26:24,666 --> 00:26:25,783
Jake Adams' Facebook.
460
00:26:27,535 --> 00:26:28,953
Okay.
461
00:26:29,371 --> 00:26:30,672
Jake Adams III.
462
00:26:31,039 --> 00:26:32,790
No, Jake Adams IV.
463
00:26:33,174 --> 00:26:36,510
Oh, forget it. All right,
moving on, for now.
464
00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:40,515
What do we have next?
465
00:26:40,515 --> 00:26:42,517
Mike Miller.
466
00:26:43,518 --> 00:26:45,102
Eleven million results?
467
00:26:45,937 --> 00:26:47,438
Holy shit!
468
00:26:48,723 --> 00:26:52,226
From Cresskill, New Jersey.
469
00:26:52,727 --> 00:26:55,529
Eight million results!
What the fuck?
470
00:26:55,947 --> 00:26:57,949
Mike Miller from Cresskill,
New Jersey,
471
00:26:57,949 --> 00:26:59,784
obsessed with
Bruce Springsteen,
472
00:27:00,235 --> 00:27:02,620
big balls, tiny penis?
473
00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:07,875
What? No! God!
474
00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:09,627
Oh, God, stop it! No!
475
00:27:15,917 --> 00:27:16,918
AUTOMATED VOICE: Goodbye.
476
00:27:36,021 --> 00:27:37,522
Balls.
477
00:27:39,024 --> 00:27:41,326
♪ You know, I swing them left
and I swing them right ♪
478
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:43,662
COLIN: That's not my fault.
479
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,832
I told you not
to put it there.
480
00:27:49,951 --> 00:27:51,369
Under the bed.
481
00:27:52,370 --> 00:27:53,170
Hi.
482
00:27:53,588 --> 00:27:55,089
Morning, 6-C.
483
00:27:55,590 --> 00:27:57,708
Hey, um,
I see that you have company,
484
00:27:57,709 --> 00:28:00,712
but I just want to ask you
a really quick question.
485
00:28:00,712 --> 00:28:02,714
Remember how you said
you were good at digging up dirt?
486
00:28:02,714 --> 00:28:06,517
Do you think that
maybe I could pay you to find some people for me?
487
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:08,019
Sweetheart,
if I'm gonna help you,
488
00:28:08,019 --> 00:28:09,970
you got to give me
more info than that.
489
00:28:09,971 --> 00:28:12,223
Just some guys
that I've dated.
490
00:28:12,724 --> 00:28:14,942
Oh, you have herpes.
That's not a fun call to make.
491
00:28:14,943 --> 00:28:16,444
No, I...
492
00:28:16,444 --> 00:28:17,945
I don't know. I just...
493
00:28:17,946 --> 00:28:21,449
I think that one of these guys
might be worth a second look.
494
00:28:31,242 --> 00:28:33,244
No. I refuse to be
a part of this type of crazy.
495
00:28:33,745 --> 00:28:34,746
I don't know why
these guys broke up with you,
496
00:28:35,246 --> 00:28:36,997
and I need to protect them.
497
00:28:36,998 --> 00:28:39,884
Wait. Why do you assume
they all broke up with me?
498
00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:40,885
Because you seem
like the type of girl
499
00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:42,920
who tries to make
a bad thing work.
500
00:28:43,421 --> 00:28:44,889
Some people
call that optimism.
501
00:28:44,889 --> 00:28:46,891
I call it crazy.
502
00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:49,393
I'm sorry I asked.
I knew you'd be a jerk.
503
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:51,979
Don't be mad.
It doesn't mean I won't sleep with you.
504
00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,481
Ugh! Gross.
505
00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:12,917
Colin! Colin, open up! Colin!
506
00:29:13,918 --> 00:29:16,420
Colin, we got to go!
Mom fell in the shower.
507
00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:18,790
What?
Yeah, she fell in the shower!
508
00:29:18,790 --> 00:29:20,291
Hi.
509
00:29:20,291 --> 00:29:24,295
She's at the hospital.
She's all wet.
510
00:29:25,296 --> 00:29:26,797
We got to get out of here!
511
00:29:26,798 --> 00:29:29,300
They're drying
her off right now, as we speak.
512
00:29:29,300 --> 00:29:32,720
I'm so sorry.
You seem like a really awesome person.
513
00:29:33,221 --> 00:29:35,223
I'm sure he's gonna call you,
but we got to go!
514
00:29:35,223 --> 00:29:37,475
Come on! She's hurt!
515
00:29:41,362 --> 00:29:42,863
Very impressive.
516
00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:44,866
Hmm.
517
00:29:44,866 --> 00:29:48,569
You help me
track down my exes, I'll help you escape yours.
518
00:29:48,570 --> 00:29:51,072
What happened to
protecting your sisters?
519
00:29:51,072 --> 00:29:54,291
If those girls
can't see you coming, they deserve what they get.
520
00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:56,160
Wow. Jesus.
521
00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:58,913
This place really goes
on and on, doesn't it?
522
00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:02,717
And you can use
my apartment to hide in.
523
00:30:04,969 --> 00:30:06,470
Here you go.
Thank you.
524
00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:08,973
Thanks, Diana. Okay.
525
00:30:08,973 --> 00:30:10,975
So, here's all the info
I have on the guys.
526
00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:12,894
Names, most recent
phone numbers...
527
00:30:13,394 --> 00:30:15,262
Hey! Addresses.
528
00:30:15,763 --> 00:30:19,566
Find out who's alive,
single, and still on the East Coast, okay?
529
00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:22,152
I'll take a car or a train,
but not a plane.
530
00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:25,656
I prioritized the list,
so start at the top.
531
00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:28,159
Jake Adams. Is that
the one that got away?
532
00:30:28,159 --> 00:30:30,161
Well, something like that.
533
00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:31,662
His dad's name
is also Jake Adams
534
00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:33,164
and he owns,
like, half of Boston.
535
00:30:33,164 --> 00:30:35,082
So, he should be
pretty easy to find.
536
00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:36,784
The Jake Adams?
537
00:30:36,784 --> 00:30:37,785
Well, he may not be
hard to find,
538
00:30:37,785 --> 00:30:39,503
but I guarantee
he's gonna be hard to get to.
539
00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:41,873
You don't have
a phone number or address or anything like that?
540
00:30:41,873 --> 00:30:43,875
If I had that,
I wouldn't need you.
541
00:30:43,875 --> 00:30:47,378
I do know that Tom Piper
is on the fast track to becoming a senator.
542
00:30:47,378 --> 00:30:49,880
Oh, and move John Kimble
up to number three.
543
00:30:49,881 --> 00:30:50,882
He probably still
works at Starbucks,
544
00:30:50,882 --> 00:30:52,967
but he's the best sex
I've ever had.
545
00:30:52,967 --> 00:30:54,852
You haven't had sex with me.
546
00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:57,856
No, but I have had sex
with other overly confident struggling musicians.
547
00:30:57,856 --> 00:30:58,857
So, I'm good.
548
00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:00,858
What makes you
think I'm a musician?
549
00:31:00,859 --> 00:31:03,862
Guitar in your apartment,
you dress like a horny teenager,
550
00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:06,231
I paid for that sandwich.
Struggling musician.
551
00:31:06,231 --> 00:31:08,233
So, I don't get it.
Why go through all this trouble?
552
00:31:08,233 --> 00:31:09,033
Why not just find a new guy?
553
00:31:09,450 --> 00:31:11,318
No. No new guys.
554
00:31:11,786 --> 00:31:13,287
New is always better than old.
555
00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:14,789
Of course you'd say that.
556
00:31:14,789 --> 00:31:17,708
I bet the longest relationship
you've ever had is with that sandwich.
557
00:31:23,915 --> 00:31:28,052
♪ What's it like for you
to fall asleep with all your thoughts?
558
00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:34,642
♪ Do you wake up blue?
Do you just sleep it off? ♪
559
00:31:34,926 --> 00:31:36,761
That's pretty.
I know.
560
00:31:36,761 --> 00:31:39,980
Are you really
gonna let us look good at your wedding?
561
00:31:39,981 --> 00:31:43,985
No. That's Mom's dress.
Those are the bridesmaids' dresses.
562
00:31:45,486 --> 00:31:46,737
Sorry. Mom picked them out,
563
00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:48,573
and I'm trying
to keep her happy
564
00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:50,241
because I invited
Dad to the wedding.
565
00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:51,742
Have you told Mom?
566
00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:53,111
No, not yet.
567
00:31:55,163 --> 00:31:57,114
Oh, wow!
568
00:31:57,115 --> 00:31:58,749
I think this is it, right?
569
00:32:01,336 --> 00:32:03,204
It's beautiful.
570
00:32:03,204 --> 00:32:05,206
Perfect.
I love it.
571
00:32:05,206 --> 00:32:07,458
That is a lot of poof.
572
00:32:07,458 --> 00:32:09,259
The poof is what
I like about it.
573
00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:11,595
But don't you want to have
wedding night sex with your dress still on?
574
00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:13,097
I don't know. Do I?
575
00:32:13,097 --> 00:32:14,798
Yeah, naughty bride,
you do.
576
00:32:14,799 --> 00:32:16,801
I'm just concerned
that with all those layers
577
00:32:16,801 --> 00:32:18,302
he's not gonna be
able to find your vagina.
578
00:32:18,803 --> 00:32:19,804
Good point.
579
00:32:19,804 --> 00:32:20,805
I mean, forget about 69.
580
00:32:20,805 --> 00:32:24,308
She's not gonna 69.
581
00:32:24,309 --> 00:32:25,310
Why not?
582
00:32:25,310 --> 00:32:27,111
Because she's a grown-up.
583
00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:28,979
Sixty-nines are
for when you're 17
584
00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:30,982
and you're trying
to cram everything in at once
585
00:32:30,982 --> 00:32:32,483
before your parents
get home.
586
00:32:32,483 --> 00:32:33,984
Thank you.
587
00:32:33,985 --> 00:32:35,486
Matt is always
trying to do that,
588
00:32:35,486 --> 00:32:37,704
and I say,
"Let's just take turns.
589
00:32:37,705 --> 00:32:39,707
"What's the rush?"
590
00:32:39,707 --> 00:32:41,709
Oh, my God.
He found Dave Hansen.
591
00:32:41,709 --> 00:32:43,911
Wait. Are you tracking down
all your ex-boyfriends
592
00:32:43,911 --> 00:32:46,413
so you don't
have to go over 20?
593
00:32:46,414 --> 00:32:47,665
What?
Think about it.
594
00:32:47,665 --> 00:32:49,500
If it works out
with one of these guys,
595
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:51,502
that means a whole
period of my life won't have been a waste.
596
00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:53,387
Yeah, but it didn't work out
with any of those guys
597
00:32:53,671 --> 00:32:55,472
because they were
all wrong for you.
598
00:32:55,473 --> 00:32:58,392
Dave Hansen. Isn't that
the magician you dated?
599
00:33:04,098 --> 00:33:06,433
I believe this is yours.
600
00:33:14,108 --> 00:33:16,110
I believe these are yours.
601
00:33:20,698 --> 00:33:23,083
Wow! You work fast!
602
00:33:23,084 --> 00:33:25,920
This one was easy.
He has his own website,
603
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,504
supersexymagic.com.
604
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,675
Well, I'm sure I'll
be able to find him.
605
00:33:31,676 --> 00:33:34,762
So, you can scoot
and skedaddle.
606
00:33:34,762 --> 00:33:36,096
And miss the show?
607
00:33:43,388 --> 00:33:44,772
Okay.
608
00:33:47,975 --> 00:33:50,477
Nope, I'm done here.
609
00:33:50,478 --> 00:33:51,695
That's it?
610
00:33:53,815 --> 00:33:56,317
Why? Because
he's a bartender?
611
00:33:56,317 --> 00:33:58,319
No, because he's
still a bartender.
612
00:33:58,319 --> 00:34:00,321
He's exactly where
he was nine years ago,
613
00:34:00,321 --> 00:34:04,825
an out-of-work magician
who sleeps till noon, bartends till 3:00,
614
00:34:04,826 --> 00:34:06,828
and goes around
pulling money out of people.
615
00:34:06,828 --> 00:34:08,329
He keeps your quarter,
by the way.
616
00:34:08,329 --> 00:34:11,832
So what?
You could have had some fun for old times' sake.
617
00:34:11,833 --> 00:34:13,835
No. You know,
even if it didn't raise my number,
618
00:34:13,835 --> 00:34:16,337
I can't afford to
waste any more time on guys like him.
619
00:34:16,838 --> 00:34:18,339
Wait, wait, wait.
That's what this is about?
620
00:34:18,339 --> 00:34:20,841
You don't want to
raise your number!
621
00:34:20,842 --> 00:34:23,344
That's why you
won't sleep with me.
622
00:34:23,344 --> 00:34:26,847
No, there's a lot of reasons
why I won't sleep with you.
623
00:34:27,348 --> 00:34:28,766
No, there's not.
624
00:34:28,766 --> 00:34:31,268
I don't know why
girls care so much about their number anyway.
625
00:34:31,269 --> 00:34:34,905
You guys all
have this ideal girl in your minds
626
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:38,910
and if our number
gets too high, we can't be that girl.
627
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:41,412
The ideal girl.
Tell me about her.
628
00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:43,914
You know,
you can take her home to the family,
629
00:34:43,915 --> 00:34:45,917
she's smart,
but not smarter than you,
630
00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:48,419
and she bakes apple pies
with your mom
631
00:34:48,419 --> 00:34:49,920
and plays catch
with your handicapped sister,
632
00:34:50,421 --> 00:34:52,423
but then when you're alone,
she's takes off her glasses
633
00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:54,925
and puts on a vinyl cat suit
and fucks you sideways!
634
00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,428
That girl doesn't exist.
If she did, I'd be sleeping with her.
635
00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:58,929
And what kind of guy
cares about
636
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:01,432
how many people you've
slept with anyway?
637
00:35:01,432 --> 00:35:02,933
Decent guys.
638
00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:29,710
Hey! What are you doing?
639
00:35:31,129 --> 00:35:32,130
Waiting for
640
00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:35,132
Amy to leave.
641
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:38,052
You hooked up with
someone last night after I left you?
642
00:35:38,052 --> 00:35:40,304
Hooking up sounds so crass.
643
00:35:40,304 --> 00:35:43,307
We shared
a romantic experience.
644
00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:45,309
And then I told her
I had an early dentist appointment,
645
00:35:45,309 --> 00:35:48,312
and I'm hiding on your
couch till she leaves.
646
00:35:48,312 --> 00:35:52,649
Well, maybe you
could use this downtime to do some actual work.
647
00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:55,903
I am working. I set up
a Facebook account for you.
648
00:35:56,270 --> 00:35:59,606
I don't want
to be on Facebook. What picture did you use?
649
00:35:59,607 --> 00:36:01,492
The one I just took
of you sleeping.
650
00:36:01,492 --> 00:36:02,993
I think this is
gonna be better.
651
00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:04,662
While you're looking for them,
they can be looking for you.
652
00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:06,413
Fine, but I refuse to tweet.
653
00:36:06,414 --> 00:36:07,415
Ooh!
654
00:36:07,915 --> 00:36:10,918
Number 14, Evan Slater,
has friend-requested you.
655
00:36:10,918 --> 00:36:12,703
He's tagged you in a photo
656
00:36:12,703 --> 00:36:16,289
and he's suggested
you become a fan of Tito's Tacos.
657
00:36:16,290 --> 00:36:18,292
Ooh. I liked Evan.
658
00:36:18,292 --> 00:36:20,794
Yeah, and who
doesn't like tacos?
659
00:36:20,795 --> 00:36:22,680
He's adorable.
660
00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:28,352
And so are his wife and kids.
661
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:31,221
Well, he clearly
doesn't understand what Facebook is for.
662
00:36:31,222 --> 00:36:33,440
You know, if you don't start
taking this job more seriously,
663
00:36:33,441 --> 00:36:35,943
you're fired from
using my apartment.
664
00:36:36,944 --> 00:36:37,945
Where's my coffee pot?
665
00:36:37,945 --> 00:36:39,896
I broke it.
666
00:36:39,897 --> 00:36:41,698
If you were on Twitter,
you'd know that already.
667
00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:48,956
You owe me $19.95.
668
00:36:48,956 --> 00:36:50,958
How about I pay you back
in Chinese food?
669
00:36:50,958 --> 00:36:52,242
I ordered Charlie Chiang.
670
00:36:52,243 --> 00:36:54,044
Did you get
the itty-bitty spare ribs?
671
00:36:55,546 --> 00:36:57,047
Okay, I'll be there
in five minutes.
672
00:36:58,499 --> 00:36:59,333
Hey.
673
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:01,301
Hey, come on in.
674
00:37:08,809 --> 00:37:10,844
Wow.
Yeah.
675
00:37:10,845 --> 00:37:12,847
Dad didn't take me
to too many ball games,
676
00:37:12,847 --> 00:37:15,316
but we did go on
a lot of stakeouts.
677
00:37:15,316 --> 00:37:16,684
It's impressive.
678
00:37:19,687 --> 00:37:21,989
COLIN: Okay, so Mike Miller
and Eric Hamilton are married.
679
00:37:21,989 --> 00:37:25,242
So is Valerio,
the guy from Italy.
680
00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:26,611
Ew.
Plum sauce?
681
00:37:26,611 --> 00:37:28,112
Yes, please, but no mustard.
682
00:37:28,112 --> 00:37:30,581
No mustard?
Mustard's the best part.
683
00:37:30,581 --> 00:37:32,916
Not if you hate mustard.
684
00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:34,785
Anything on
Jake Adams yet?
685
00:37:34,785 --> 00:37:36,286
No. I'm sorry.
686
00:37:36,287 --> 00:37:38,789
I told you,
rich people are very good at protecting their privacy,
687
00:37:38,789 --> 00:37:40,757
but just be patient,
we'll find him.
688
00:37:40,758 --> 00:37:42,760
What about Simon Forester?
689
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,762
He's separated
and his house just went on the market,
690
00:37:44,762 --> 00:37:47,264
so I'm guessing a divorce
is right around the corner.
691
00:37:47,765 --> 00:37:50,267
Huh. Okay.
Let's try Simon.
692
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:51,936
Simon.
693
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:55,723
Okay, so what's my plan?
Guy getting a divorce.
694
00:37:56,557 --> 00:37:57,307
Divorce...
695
00:37:59,644 --> 00:38:01,145
I could find out
who his lawyer is
696
00:38:01,145 --> 00:38:03,113
and get a job there
as his assistant.
697
00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:07,401
Or we keep it simple
and you just go look at his open house.
698
00:38:09,203 --> 00:38:10,204
Huh.
699
00:38:10,204 --> 00:38:12,155
The challenge with
a newly divorced guy
700
00:38:12,156 --> 00:38:13,657
is that he's just
looking to have fun.
701
00:38:13,658 --> 00:38:15,660
What you got to do
is give him the best sex of his life.
702
00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:18,579
He can't realize that he's
falling in love with you until it's too late.
703
00:38:18,713 --> 00:38:22,466
So, I'm covering up the fact
that I'm marriage material with amazing sex?
704
00:38:22,466 --> 00:38:24,801
Yeah. How's your blowjob?
705
00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:26,136
What?
706
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,255
Relax. This is business.
I'm trying to help you.
707
00:38:28,255 --> 00:38:30,757
Well, if you must know,
it's pretty good.
708
00:38:30,758 --> 00:38:32,760
It's the hand job
I haven't quite figured out yet.
709
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:36,146
Well, I guarantee you
he has, so skip it.
710
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,649
All right,
I guess this is it.
711
00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:39,650
Ready?
Yeah.
712
00:38:41,652 --> 00:38:45,155
This is nice.
Simon's doing well.
713
00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:47,658
I wonder where
the realtor is.
714
00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:49,160
Hello?
715
00:38:54,448 --> 00:38:55,832
Is that...
716
00:38:57,335 --> 00:38:58,836
What the...
717
00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:00,120
Donald!
Ally!
718
00:39:00,121 --> 00:39:01,789
What the fuck are
you doing in my home?
719
00:39:02,790 --> 00:39:04,291
Uh...
720
00:39:04,291 --> 00:39:08,545
The door was open,
so I just assumed this was the open house.
721
00:39:08,546 --> 00:39:12,550
No. No. This is my house.
You're in my home.
722
00:39:13,050 --> 00:39:13,967
Oh, well...
723
00:39:15,970 --> 00:39:19,473
My fiance, Pierre, and I
are looking to buy a place
724
00:39:20,474 --> 00:39:23,477
when he gets back
from the North Pole.
725
00:39:23,477 --> 00:39:26,897
Hey, Ally, can I go ahead
and get that picture back from you?
726
00:39:28,315 --> 00:39:31,318
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oops.
727
00:39:46,634 --> 00:39:48,636
That was Disgusting Donald.
728
00:39:48,636 --> 00:39:49,637
He didn't look disgusting.
729
00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:52,423
He was disgusting
when I dated him, okay?
730
00:39:56,727 --> 00:39:58,095
Oh, my God,
there's Simon.
731
00:39:58,562 --> 00:40:01,565
He looks good for a guy
going through a divorce.
732
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:10,774
Before you take my order,
733
00:40:10,775 --> 00:40:15,279
I do feel compelled to explain
why a single, straight man
734
00:40:15,279 --> 00:40:17,781
is having high tea by himself
on Beacon Hill.
735
00:40:17,782 --> 00:40:19,784
Well, um,
736
00:40:19,784 --> 00:40:23,287
I'm just so homesick
that I'd kill for anything English.
737
00:40:31,178 --> 00:40:33,180
Okay, so go.
I can take it from here.
738
00:40:33,180 --> 00:40:34,514
Don't shove me.
Get out of here.
739
00:40:34,515 --> 00:40:36,383
Don't shove me.
740
00:40:36,383 --> 00:40:38,935
Get out of here!
Hey! I said don't shove me!
741
00:40:38,936 --> 00:40:40,220
Ally Darling?
742
00:40:41,439 --> 00:40:42,807
Is that you?
743
00:40:45,309 --> 00:40:47,277
Simon, I can't believe it.
744
00:40:48,312 --> 00:40:50,113
What are the chances?
745
00:40:51,782 --> 00:40:53,316
It's brilliant to see you.
746
00:40:53,317 --> 00:40:55,319
It is brilliant.
747
00:40:55,820 --> 00:41:00,324
Simon,
this is my neighbor, Colin. But he has to go now.
748
00:41:00,324 --> 00:41:01,825
No, I don't.
749
00:41:01,826 --> 00:41:04,044
Pleasure.
No, no, the pleasure's all mine.
750
00:41:05,412 --> 00:41:07,130
Wow.
751
00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:09,133
Wow. It's great to see...
752
00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:10,968
Did you look this good
when we were dating?
753
00:41:10,968 --> 00:41:14,504
Oh, well,
I had a fringe back then.
754
00:41:14,505 --> 00:41:17,007
That's bangs.
"Fringe" is "bangs."
755
00:41:18,008 --> 00:41:19,009
Americans.
756
00:41:19,009 --> 00:41:20,510
Listen, they're
showing my house,
757
00:41:20,511 --> 00:41:22,179
so I've got to disappear
for an hour or so,
758
00:41:22,179 --> 00:41:23,513
but do you fancy
grabbing a pint?
759
00:41:24,932 --> 00:41:26,266
Smashing.
760
00:41:27,234 --> 00:41:28,768
Cheerio, Colin.
761
00:41:28,769 --> 00:41:31,021
How are you fancying
driving on the right?
762
00:41:31,906 --> 00:41:34,158
Cross Simon off the list.
763
00:41:34,942 --> 00:41:36,443
What happened?
764
00:41:36,443 --> 00:41:39,446
My British accent
was a little rusty, and halfway through darts
765
00:41:39,446 --> 00:41:41,197
I started sounding
like Eliza Doolittle.
766
00:41:43,701 --> 00:41:46,003
Don't take your eye
off the board.
767
00:41:47,087 --> 00:41:51,341
No. Straight.
Just... Higher. Better.
768
00:41:53,460 --> 00:41:57,464
Bloody 'ell! I'm rubbish at this.
769
00:42:02,303 --> 00:42:04,772
You were saying
you got sacked.
770
00:42:05,272 --> 00:42:08,642
Yep. Losing me job
wasn't the end of the world.
771
00:42:09,143 --> 00:42:11,145
Still got me mates
and a roof over me 'ead.
772
00:42:11,145 --> 00:42:14,982
I don't need much,
just a room somewhere,
773
00:42:14,982 --> 00:42:19,319
far away from
the cold night air.
774
00:42:22,122 --> 00:42:24,124
And then when I tried
to pull out of it,
775
00:42:24,124 --> 00:42:27,410
for some reason I panicked
and went full Borat.
776
00:42:27,828 --> 00:42:31,331
So, I order another round?
777
00:42:33,334 --> 00:42:37,254
No. No, I think we
better call it a night.
778
00:42:37,254 --> 00:42:41,758
Oh, no! I talk whole time.
I know nothing about you.
779
00:42:45,062 --> 00:42:49,066
So, what's next for Svorgon?
780
00:42:54,021 --> 00:42:55,322
Svorgon?
781
00:42:55,322 --> 00:42:58,191
I turned into the Swedish Chef
from The Muppets.
782
00:42:58,192 --> 00:42:59,193
He was my favorite.
783
00:42:59,193 --> 00:43:02,696
Okay.
Who else we got?
784
00:43:06,367 --> 00:43:08,001
I thought we weren't
allowed up here.
785
00:43:08,502 --> 00:43:09,503
Didn't you get that memo?
786
00:43:09,503 --> 00:43:11,288
I wrote that memo.
787
00:43:11,288 --> 00:43:12,289
It was getting
kind of crowded,
788
00:43:12,790 --> 00:43:13,791
and my band and I
practice up here.
789
00:43:14,291 --> 00:43:16,293
Where does
your band play?
790
00:43:16,293 --> 00:43:18,295
Here, for now.
791
00:43:18,796 --> 00:43:21,298
My mom's friend is
looking for a band for her son's bar mitzvah.
792
00:43:21,298 --> 00:43:24,301
No, thank you.
We're not that kind of band.
793
00:43:24,301 --> 00:43:25,969
The kind that makes money?
794
00:43:26,470 --> 00:43:27,971
Let's drop it.
795
00:43:27,972 --> 00:43:30,190
We got 10 possibilities left.
796
00:43:30,190 --> 00:43:34,194
Jay from Club Med Turkoise.
I'm trying, but I need more info.
797
00:43:34,194 --> 00:43:36,196
I'm sorry,
it was spring break.
798
00:43:36,196 --> 00:43:38,198
Jay may not even
be his real name.
799
00:43:38,198 --> 00:43:40,783
I'm certainly not
Kelli with an "I."
800
00:43:40,784 --> 00:43:42,285
Barrett Ingold,
lives in Miami.
801
00:43:42,786 --> 00:43:45,789
I know it's not
geographically desirable, but he is a doctor now.
802
00:43:45,789 --> 00:43:47,707
Don't care. I hate Miami.
803
00:43:48,208 --> 00:43:49,209
I think too much sun
makes people stupid.
804
00:43:50,928 --> 00:43:52,800
Okay. How do you feel
about Denver?
805
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,301
I found the mountain man,
806
00:43:54,302 --> 00:43:56,304
and that guy
has got a caboose worth relocating for.
807
00:43:56,304 --> 00:43:59,307
Pass! He always wanted
to breathe fresh air.
808
00:43:59,307 --> 00:44:00,308
Do you know how
exhausting it was
809
00:44:00,308 --> 00:44:01,309
to pretend to
enjoy the outdoors
810
00:44:01,809 --> 00:44:03,010
with that kind of enthusiasm?
811
00:44:03,010 --> 00:44:05,012
More exhausting
than pretending to be British?
812
00:44:05,012 --> 00:44:06,563
I never had to wipe
myself with a leaf
813
00:44:06,564 --> 00:44:07,565
when I was pretending
to be British.
814
00:44:07,565 --> 00:44:10,234
Touche.
What about Gerry Perry?
815
00:44:10,234 --> 00:44:12,019
He's a puppeteer,
so he's single.
816
00:44:13,020 --> 00:44:15,022
I don't want to go out
with Gerry Perry.
817
00:44:15,022 --> 00:44:17,024
Where's Jake Adams?
818
00:44:17,024 --> 00:44:18,525
In Noyaradougou.
819
00:44:18,526 --> 00:44:20,160
What? Where the hell's that?
820
00:44:20,161 --> 00:44:21,662
Africa.
821
00:44:21,662 --> 00:44:23,664
He runs his family's
philanthropic foundation
822
00:44:23,664 --> 00:44:27,167
and he's overseeing
the construction of a school there.
823
00:44:30,171 --> 00:44:32,590
Is he ever coming back?
824
00:44:32,590 --> 00:44:35,626
Eventually. In the meantime,
I've got Gerry Perry.
825
00:44:35,626 --> 00:44:36,627
No!
826
00:44:38,596 --> 00:44:41,599
All right, so the puppet
show starts at 2:00, and I'll meet you at the park.
827
00:44:42,099 --> 00:44:43,600
Okay.
828
00:44:43,601 --> 00:44:44,551
Hey, Colin.
829
00:44:44,552 --> 00:44:46,053
Yeah?
830
00:44:46,053 --> 00:44:48,438
Thank you for
all your hard work, by the way.
831
00:44:48,939 --> 00:44:50,941
I really appreciate it.
832
00:44:50,941 --> 00:44:52,275
You do?
833
00:44:52,276 --> 00:44:54,111
Because sometimes,
it's hard to tell.
834
00:44:55,029 --> 00:44:56,030
Really?
835
00:44:57,031 --> 00:44:58,282
Oh...
836
00:45:06,574 --> 00:45:08,042
What are you doing?
837
00:45:08,042 --> 00:45:10,544
Trying to end
the night with a bang.
838
00:45:12,163 --> 00:45:13,664
You really can't
hang out with a girl
839
00:45:13,664 --> 00:45:15,165
without sleeping
with her, can you?
840
00:45:16,634 --> 00:45:19,637
Well, I can,
it's just not that much fun.
841
00:45:23,641 --> 00:45:25,643
You're not on my list.
842
00:45:29,146 --> 00:45:32,149
You could just
cross off the dead guy,
843
00:45:32,149 --> 00:45:34,601
put my name on there.
844
00:45:39,490 --> 00:45:41,325
GERRY AS PUPPET:
Who did the poop?
845
00:45:41,325 --> 00:45:42,743
ALL: You did the poop!
846
00:45:43,244 --> 00:45:44,245
Hey.
Hey.
847
00:45:46,247 --> 00:45:47,248
Whose kid is this?
848
00:45:47,248 --> 00:45:48,332
He's my nephew.
849
00:45:48,833 --> 00:45:50,334
If I'd shown up
to the puppet show without a child,
850
00:45:50,334 --> 00:45:52,336
it might be creepy.
851
00:45:52,336 --> 00:45:53,337
Great. Huh.
852
00:45:53,337 --> 00:45:54,838
Can you say hi,
Justin?
853
00:45:54,839 --> 00:45:55,840
Arr!
854
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:57,341
He's a pirate.
855
00:45:57,341 --> 00:45:59,593
GERRY AS PUPPET:
What are you talking about?
856
00:46:04,715 --> 00:46:05,716
All right, you're up.
857
00:46:06,717 --> 00:46:07,851
Great.
858
00:46:07,852 --> 00:46:08,853
Come on.
859
00:46:11,105 --> 00:46:12,606
Thanks, Gerry.
860
00:46:12,606 --> 00:46:14,441
You're welcome.
861
00:46:26,654 --> 00:46:28,489
Daisy home?
862
00:46:30,458 --> 00:46:31,959
No.
863
00:46:57,651 --> 00:46:59,986
So, when do you think
Daisy will be home?
864
00:47:06,243 --> 00:47:07,744
Gerry?
Ally?
865
00:47:07,745 --> 00:47:09,246
Oh, my God,
what are you doing here?
866
00:47:09,246 --> 00:47:10,747
Hi. Oh,
867
00:47:10,748 --> 00:47:14,201
you know, I'm just
babysitting for a friend.
868
00:47:14,201 --> 00:47:16,336
Ah, cool.
So, you saw the magical show.
869
00:47:16,837 --> 00:47:19,589
Yeah! Wow, the kids,
they just love it.
870
00:47:19,874 --> 00:47:21,876
That's just because
I say "poop" a lot.
871
00:47:23,511 --> 00:47:24,512
Hey, so,
872
00:47:26,597 --> 00:47:27,965
recognize this bad boy?
873
00:47:27,965 --> 00:47:29,716
Hey there, Smart Alec.
874
00:47:29,717 --> 00:47:30,718
Hi.
875
00:47:33,687 --> 00:47:36,356
So, how are you?
876
00:47:36,357 --> 00:47:38,392
Quit being a pussy,
and ask her about Daisy.
877
00:47:38,392 --> 00:47:41,445
What? Come on, man,
don't be rude.
878
00:47:41,445 --> 00:47:44,731
You are rude.
Sorry about that.
879
00:47:44,732 --> 00:47:47,735
That's okay. Uh...
I'm great.
880
00:47:47,735 --> 00:47:50,487
Great, great.
Well, you look great.
881
00:47:50,955 --> 00:47:53,123
Not as great as Daisy.
882
00:47:53,123 --> 00:47:54,491
Ignore him.
883
00:47:56,460 --> 00:47:58,462
Hey, but seriously,
884
00:47:58,462 --> 00:48:01,998
maybe we should
exchange numbers, you know, and catch up.
885
00:48:02,499 --> 00:48:04,801
You know what?
I think I'm all caught up.
886
00:48:04,802 --> 00:48:06,303
Cool!
887
00:48:06,303 --> 00:48:08,505
But it was really great
running into you.
888
00:48:08,839 --> 00:48:10,340
Great running into you.
889
00:48:10,341 --> 00:48:11,842
No, it wasn't.
890
00:48:11,842 --> 00:48:12,843
Big mouth.
891
00:48:13,344 --> 00:48:15,813
Okay, I'll see you around.
892
00:48:19,817 --> 00:48:21,318
Hey, Daisy.
893
00:48:21,819 --> 00:48:22,820
Hey.
894
00:48:35,866 --> 00:48:37,117
Daisy...
895
00:48:43,007 --> 00:48:46,010
I can't believe
I slept with that guy.
896
00:48:46,010 --> 00:48:48,012
Where's Justin?
897
00:48:48,012 --> 00:48:49,513
This is Justin.
898
00:48:50,014 --> 00:48:51,015
That's not Justin.
899
00:48:52,466 --> 00:48:54,384
What's the matter with you?
900
00:48:54,385 --> 00:48:55,386
Didn't your mom teach you
to not walk off with strangers?
901
00:48:55,886 --> 00:48:57,387
What's the matter
with you?
902
00:48:57,388 --> 00:48:59,390
You didn't realize you had
a completely different human being?
903
00:48:59,390 --> 00:49:00,858
Justin!
904
00:49:00,858 --> 00:49:04,194
Okay. What does
your mommy look like?
905
00:49:04,194 --> 00:49:05,195
Like you.
906
00:49:05,195 --> 00:49:07,397
Lucas! Get back here!
907
00:49:10,367 --> 00:49:11,701
Wait. Wait.
908
00:49:13,621 --> 00:49:16,907
Do you really think
I look like your mommy? Huh?
909
00:49:17,741 --> 00:49:19,793
Answer me!
910
00:49:19,793 --> 00:49:21,161
Answer me, Lucas!
911
00:49:22,162 --> 00:49:23,997
Lucas!
912
00:49:27,084 --> 00:49:30,087
No disappearing acts,
buddy.
913
00:49:30,087 --> 00:49:34,591
Okay, I am not
buying you any more food until you find Jake Adams.
914
00:49:34,591 --> 00:49:36,593
If he was so perfect,
why didn't it work out in the first place?
915
00:49:38,595 --> 00:49:41,097
Well, we made this pact
that we would lose our virginity to each other,
916
00:49:41,098 --> 00:49:44,101
but Jake went abroad
junior year, and while he was gone,
917
00:49:44,601 --> 00:49:46,102
I broke the pact.
918
00:49:46,103 --> 00:49:47,604
With who?
919
00:49:47,604 --> 00:49:50,106
Which one of the 20
could have possibly been better than Jake Adams?
920
00:49:50,107 --> 00:49:51,608
And why aren't
we looking for him?
921
00:49:51,608 --> 00:49:53,443
You already found him.
922
00:49:53,444 --> 00:49:54,912
Gerry Perry?
923
00:49:55,412 --> 00:49:57,414
You lost your virginity
to the puppeteer?
924
00:49:58,916 --> 00:50:02,920
I know. I felt bad for him.
925
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,423
Oh, Ally,
I underestimated you. That's amazing.
926
00:50:06,423 --> 00:50:09,759
That's... That's my
new favorite thing about you.
927
00:50:10,678 --> 00:50:12,680
Hi. Thank you.
928
00:50:14,682 --> 00:50:15,683
Hey.
Hi.
929
00:50:15,683 --> 00:50:17,184
Is Eddie coming?
930
00:50:17,184 --> 00:50:18,685
No. Mom. Don't go.
931
00:50:21,105 --> 00:50:22,890
I can't have lunch with Mom.
I didn't wash my hair.
932
00:50:22,890 --> 00:50:24,892
You can't even tell.
It looks great.
933
00:50:24,892 --> 00:50:26,393
You haven't told Mom
Dad's coming to the wedding, have you?
934
00:50:27,695 --> 00:50:28,816
No.
935
00:50:28,816 --> 00:50:29,783
And that's why I'm here.
936
00:50:29,784 --> 00:50:30,701
Yes.
937
00:50:30,701 --> 00:50:32,652
And my hair
doesn't look that great?
938
00:50:32,653 --> 00:50:34,871
No. I can't tell her alone.
939
00:50:35,706 --> 00:50:38,959
Fine. Pass the butter.
940
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:40,461
(HUMMING THE WEDDING MARCH)
Hi, Mummy.
941
00:50:41,913 --> 00:50:42,914
Hi, Mom.
942
00:50:42,914 --> 00:50:46,133
Kitty. Oh, my.
943
00:50:46,634 --> 00:50:48,836
So, the caterer called.
944
00:50:48,836 --> 00:50:52,840
Um, how strict a vegetarian
is your boyfriend Rick, honey?
945
00:50:53,341 --> 00:50:56,010
Would he be willing to eat
just a little chicken for one night?
946
00:50:56,010 --> 00:50:57,511
No, Rick's not coming.
They broke up.
947
00:50:58,012 --> 00:51:00,397
Daisy!
What? Not again.
948
00:51:00,398 --> 00:51:01,899
Dad's coming to the wedding.
What?
949
00:51:02,350 --> 00:51:03,851
Ally!
950
00:51:05,569 --> 00:51:07,737
How could you do this to me?
951
00:51:07,738 --> 00:51:10,357
I'm not doing
anything to you, Mom.
952
00:51:10,858 --> 00:51:13,861
Except making it impossible
for me to come.
953
00:51:13,861 --> 00:51:15,362
You're not gonna
come to my wedding?
954
00:51:15,363 --> 00:51:18,866
Not if your
father's coming, I'm not.
955
00:51:19,367 --> 00:51:21,702
Maybe he can be
Allison's date. Hmm?
956
00:51:21,702 --> 00:51:25,338
I'm sure you will just have
a lovely, lovely time.
957
00:51:25,339 --> 00:51:27,341
Bye, Mom. Bye.
Bye, Mom.
958
00:51:28,342 --> 00:51:29,343
You have to fix this.
959
00:51:29,844 --> 00:51:30,845
I'll talk to her
when I get back.
960
00:51:30,845 --> 00:51:32,096
Where are you going?
961
00:51:32,096 --> 00:51:34,098
Miami, for a Pap smear.
962
00:51:34,098 --> 00:51:35,099
Why?
963
00:51:35,099 --> 00:51:36,600
Do you remember
Barrett Ingold?
964
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:38,101
The guy who threw up
in our dishwasher?
965
00:51:38,102 --> 00:51:40,104
Yeah.
He's a gynecologist now.
966
00:51:40,104 --> 00:51:41,438
But you hate Miami.
967
00:51:41,439 --> 00:51:43,808
I know. But I'm not having
as much luck as I'd hoped locally
968
00:51:43,808 --> 00:51:46,360
and I'm running out of time,
money, and viable eggs.
969
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,945
So, you're telling me
that tracking down your ex-boyfriends
970
00:51:48,946 --> 00:51:52,449
is more important
than helping me plan my wedding?
971
00:51:52,450 --> 00:51:54,952
I know it
sounds stupid to you, but it is important.
972
00:51:54,952 --> 00:51:57,955
I feel like everyone else
is moving on with their lives but me.
973
00:51:57,955 --> 00:52:00,958
Ally, I'm all for
moving on, I really am,
974
00:52:00,958 --> 00:52:04,962
but it just feels like
this quest you're on is a little nuts.
975
00:52:04,962 --> 00:52:06,463
You know what?
976
00:52:06,464 --> 00:52:07,965
If you hadn't given
your ex-boyfriend a second chance,
977
00:52:07,965 --> 00:52:09,466
you wouldn't even
be having a wedding.
978
00:52:09,467 --> 00:52:13,471
Besides, I need a Pap smear
and he takes my insurance.
979
00:52:13,471 --> 00:52:14,839
I'm late for my spray tan.
980
00:52:33,741 --> 00:52:35,242
Hello, Allison.
981
00:52:37,194 --> 00:52:39,196
Barrett?
982
00:52:39,196 --> 00:52:42,582
Oh, my God, is that you?
983
00:52:44,085 --> 00:52:44,952
Hi.
984
00:52:46,420 --> 00:52:49,423
It's Ally. Ally Darling.
985
00:52:49,423 --> 00:52:51,758
Oh. Yeah, from spinning.
986
00:52:52,176 --> 00:52:53,594
No.
987
00:52:53,594 --> 00:52:55,796
From...
Oh, Greg's birthday party.
988
00:52:55,796 --> 00:52:58,098
We went to college together.
989
00:52:59,934 --> 00:53:01,518
We dated.
Oh.
990
00:53:03,020 --> 00:53:04,388
How about that?
991
00:53:04,388 --> 00:53:06,807
Well, that was
a long time ago.
992
00:53:06,807 --> 00:53:10,143
So, let's see how
things are going now. Can you scooch?
993
00:53:11,112 --> 00:53:12,113
Very good.
994
00:53:21,288 --> 00:53:24,291
Ally! Of course.
995
00:53:27,878 --> 00:53:30,380
He recognized my vagina!
996
00:53:30,748 --> 00:53:34,718
What's going on down there?
I got to say, I'm a little freaked out.
997
00:53:34,718 --> 00:53:36,219
Well, I'd be happy to
take a look for you.
998
00:53:36,220 --> 00:53:38,922
I used
all my miles for that!
999
00:53:38,923 --> 00:53:40,925
Cross Barrett off the list!
1000
00:53:40,925 --> 00:53:42,927
You know what?
Cross the list off the list!
1001
00:53:42,927 --> 00:53:44,478
What am I doing?
1002
00:53:44,478 --> 00:53:47,564
Unemployed,
spending every last dime
1003
00:53:47,565 --> 00:53:49,066
trying to track down
these assholes
1004
00:53:49,066 --> 00:53:51,568
who already broke up
with me once.
1005
00:53:52,069 --> 00:53:54,071
Maybe I should just quit.
1006
00:53:54,572 --> 00:53:57,575
Well, that's too bad,
'cause I found Tom Piper.
1007
00:53:58,075 --> 00:53:59,576
Keep talking.
1008
00:53:59,577 --> 00:54:01,078
He's in D.C.,
like you said.
1009
00:54:01,078 --> 00:54:02,579
He's working as an aide
for Senator Mitchell.
1010
00:54:07,618 --> 00:54:09,119
I don't have anything
a politician's wife would wear.
1011
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:10,121
Ooh!
1012
00:54:10,121 --> 00:54:13,124
I do have a store credit
for Ann Taylor. Ha!
1013
00:54:13,958 --> 00:54:15,459
Hi.
1014
00:54:15,459 --> 00:54:17,461
DAISY: I'm on your street
and I have to poo.
1015
00:54:17,461 --> 00:54:20,464
Okay, let yourself in,
I'll be home in 10 minutes.
1016
00:54:22,716 --> 00:54:24,551
Hi.
1017
00:54:26,020 --> 00:54:27,021
Hey.
1018
00:54:27,021 --> 00:54:28,722
Oh, Jesus.
1019
00:54:28,722 --> 00:54:31,524
Tell me you're not
naked on my couch next to my sister.
1020
00:54:31,525 --> 00:54:34,528
Thankfully,
he doesn't like to play without his underwear.
1021
00:54:34,528 --> 00:54:36,530
The guitar gets cold
against his penis.
1022
00:54:37,031 --> 00:54:39,950
So, you two have met.
1023
00:54:39,950 --> 00:54:41,952
Hey, remember Tom Piper?
1024
00:54:42,453 --> 00:54:45,456
Colin found him in D.C.,
so I'm going there tomorrow,
1025
00:54:46,457 --> 00:54:48,242
wearing this!
1026
00:54:48,242 --> 00:54:49,743
I'm so excited.
1027
00:54:49,743 --> 00:54:51,244
Then why would
you wear a pantsuit?
1028
00:54:51,245 --> 00:54:53,747
Don't you have your interview
at Sheffield and Bloom tomorrow?
1029
00:54:53,747 --> 00:54:55,498
That's the beauty of
a pantsuit, you know.
1030
00:54:55,499 --> 00:54:58,168
It works for both
a super-boring interview
1031
00:54:58,169 --> 00:55:02,056
and for an accidental,
on-purpose encounter with my future husband.
1032
00:55:02,056 --> 00:55:04,725
Hey, did you ever try and sell
those freaky little sculptures you make?
1033
00:55:04,725 --> 00:55:05,726
No, she needs
a real job.
1034
00:55:05,726 --> 00:55:07,728
Oh, yeah,
those are just a hobby.
1035
00:55:08,229 --> 00:55:09,263
COLIN: I think
they're amazing.
1036
00:55:09,263 --> 00:55:11,098
You should try.
Not everyone can do that, you know.
1037
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:13,984
Excuse me,
would you mind giving me and Ally
1038
00:55:13,984 --> 00:55:14,985
a little bit of privacy,
please?
1039
00:55:16,620 --> 00:55:17,357
She has to poo.
1040
00:55:17,825 --> 00:55:19,860
Ally!
1041
00:55:19,861 --> 00:55:22,196
Hey, hasn't your
lady friend left yet?
1042
00:55:22,196 --> 00:55:24,698
No, I guess this one's
a late sleeper.
1043
00:55:24,699 --> 00:55:26,200
Wait. Are you...
1044
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:29,369
Is he hiding out here
because there's a woman in his apartment?
1045
00:55:29,370 --> 00:55:30,871
He is.
1046
00:55:30,872 --> 00:55:33,174
That's it. I'm going
to Anthony's Bakery. Excuse me.
1047
00:55:33,457 --> 00:55:36,843
Do you want to
grab me a cannoli? No?
1048
00:55:37,845 --> 00:55:40,430
Okay. Keys.
1049
00:55:54,729 --> 00:55:56,230
Who the hell are you?
1050
00:55:56,230 --> 00:55:57,531
Andrea.
1051
00:55:58,950 --> 00:56:00,952
He didn't tell you
he was engaged?
1052
00:56:01,402 --> 00:56:03,904
No. I am so sorry.
1053
00:56:04,405 --> 00:56:07,574
When I told him I was engaged,
he didn't say anything.
1054
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:14,965
Why?
1055
00:56:14,966 --> 00:56:16,968
Tits!
1056
00:56:16,968 --> 00:56:19,470
Oh. Oh.
1057
00:56:20,471 --> 00:56:23,974
Oh. Why? Why?
1058
00:56:33,601 --> 00:56:36,103
Hey, wouldn't it be easier
1059
00:56:36,103 --> 00:56:38,605
if you just spent the night
at their apartments
1060
00:56:38,606 --> 00:56:41,108
and left in the morning,
like a normal guy?
1061
00:56:41,108 --> 00:56:42,609
No.
1062
00:56:42,610 --> 00:56:44,111
I once stayed in
a relationship with a girl
1063
00:56:44,111 --> 00:56:46,947
because of a picture she had
on her bedside table.
1064
00:56:46,948 --> 00:56:50,451
It was her
dressed as Cinderella on her fifth birthday.
1065
00:56:51,953 --> 00:56:53,287
Grab that.
1066
00:56:53,287 --> 00:56:55,289
So?
1067
00:56:55,289 --> 00:56:57,791
So, every time I tried
to split with her,
1068
00:56:57,792 --> 00:56:59,794
I'd picture that little
girl in the blue dress.
1069
00:56:59,794 --> 00:57:03,297
Happy. Excited about Monty,
her new gerbil,
1070
00:57:03,798 --> 00:57:07,134
who she would later kill
by accidentally putting him in the dryer.
1071
00:57:12,940 --> 00:57:15,225
Just couldn't break
that little girl's heart.
1072
00:57:19,563 --> 00:57:21,064
So you're saying
it's easier to sleep with girls
1073
00:57:21,065 --> 00:57:22,066
and never call them again
1074
00:57:22,066 --> 00:57:25,069
if you don't know
anything about them?
1075
00:57:26,704 --> 00:57:28,288
Kind of like a serial killer.
1076
00:57:30,658 --> 00:57:32,159
Yeah, I guess so.
1077
00:57:32,576 --> 00:57:34,578
Hmm.
1078
00:57:34,962 --> 00:57:36,413
COLIN ON PHONE:
Hey, so I talked to Piper's assistant.
1079
00:57:36,414 --> 00:57:37,915
He said he's gonna
be doing research
1080
00:57:37,915 --> 00:57:39,416
in the library of
the Adams Building
1081
00:57:39,417 --> 00:57:40,751
for the rest of the day.
1082
00:57:41,168 --> 00:57:44,171
Oh, wait. Hold on.
My leg fell asleep on the train.
1083
00:57:44,171 --> 00:57:46,556
Pins and needles.
Pins and needles.
1084
00:57:47,058 --> 00:57:48,059
Punch it.
1085
00:57:48,059 --> 00:57:49,060
Really?
1086
00:57:51,562 --> 00:57:53,564
I'm punching.
1087
00:57:53,564 --> 00:57:57,351
What? Your leg's
never fallen asleep before?
1088
00:57:59,403 --> 00:58:00,153
What's that sound?
1089
00:58:01,022 --> 00:58:02,356
Nothing.
1090
00:58:02,857 --> 00:58:05,359
Hey, I didn't know
you were such a big fan of Lionel Richie.
1091
00:58:05,359 --> 00:58:09,746
You know, looking at
somebody's playlist is like reading their diary.
1092
00:58:15,786 --> 00:58:16,670
That's my bathtub.
1093
00:58:22,510 --> 00:58:23,761
Donald.
1094
00:58:23,761 --> 00:58:27,014
Ally...
What are you doing here?
1095
00:58:28,799 --> 00:58:30,600
Visiting my fiance.
1096
00:58:31,602 --> 00:58:34,104
Your fiance who was
at the North Pole?
1097
00:58:34,105 --> 00:58:34,972
Yep.
1098
00:58:35,439 --> 00:58:37,941
He's back. Pierre is back.
1099
00:58:38,275 --> 00:58:40,727
Wow. Pierre just happens
to be in Washington, D.C.,
1100
00:58:40,728 --> 00:58:42,229
the same time that
I have a conference?
1101
00:58:43,731 --> 00:58:47,034
Yep. He's meeting
with the President.
1102
00:58:47,034 --> 00:58:48,402
Oh. What a coincidence.
1103
00:58:48,402 --> 00:58:50,871
I know.
It's crazy, isn't it?
1104
00:58:51,789 --> 00:58:53,073
Yeah, it is.
1105
00:58:54,909 --> 00:58:57,411
That's exactly what it is.
1106
00:58:57,411 --> 00:58:58,712
Okay.
1107
00:59:27,691 --> 00:59:29,192
Do you like freedom?
1108
00:59:29,193 --> 00:59:30,194
Sign here for freedom.
1109
00:59:30,194 --> 00:59:31,695
Be on our mailing list
for George Bush.
1110
00:59:31,695 --> 00:59:34,698
George W. Bush.
Vote George Bush.
1111
00:59:34,698 --> 00:59:35,699
Get on our mailing list.
1112
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:37,084
Vote for freedom.
1113
00:59:59,311 --> 01:00:01,012
No, no, no. It's taken.
1114
01:00:01,513 --> 01:00:03,014
It's taken.
1115
01:00:11,856 --> 01:00:13,357
Okay, excuse me.
1116
01:00:14,993 --> 01:00:16,494
I'm just wondering
1117
01:00:16,494 --> 01:00:19,663
if you could help me
move the table about three feet this way?
1118
01:00:20,532 --> 01:00:22,367
I just...
I like it better over there.
1119
01:00:24,753 --> 01:00:27,338
Great, keep going just a little further.
1120
01:00:27,339 --> 01:00:32,127
Go, team.
That's fantastic work. Thank you. Almost.
1121
01:00:33,628 --> 01:00:36,714
Almost.
Almost there. Okay.
1122
01:00:36,715 --> 01:00:38,466
Okay, okay, okay. Okay.
1123
01:00:47,108 --> 01:00:48,442
Ally Darling.
1124
01:00:48,860 --> 01:00:50,361
Tom?
1125
01:00:50,362 --> 01:00:51,863
Shh!
1126
01:00:53,698 --> 01:00:56,567
Oh, my God!
He's taking me to this party tonight.
1127
01:00:56,568 --> 01:00:57,869
I offered to stay
at the Best Western,
1128
01:00:57,869 --> 01:00:59,871
but he insisted
on putting me up at the Omni.
1129
01:01:00,372 --> 01:01:01,573
COLIN: He dropped you
off at the hotel
1130
01:01:01,573 --> 01:01:04,075
and didn't come up
for "it's good to see you" sex?
1131
01:01:04,075 --> 01:01:05,543
What'd you do to turn him off?
1132
01:01:05,543 --> 01:01:06,911
Nothing. He's a gentleman.
1133
01:01:07,379 --> 01:01:09,214
You wore that pantsuit,
didn't you?
1134
01:01:09,214 --> 01:01:12,717
That pantsuit is sexy.
It's very Katharine Hepburn.
1135
01:01:12,717 --> 01:01:14,335
All right. Let's clear
something up right now.
1136
01:01:14,335 --> 01:01:16,837
Katharine Hepburn
was not sexy. Audrey Hepburn was sexy.
1137
01:01:16,838 --> 01:01:18,089
Katharine Hepburn was a dude.
1138
01:01:19,090 --> 01:01:22,643
Well, Tom is just a good guy.
1139
01:01:22,644 --> 01:01:25,763
Besides,
you wouldn't know a gentleman if he tiptoed up behind you
1140
01:01:25,764 --> 01:01:27,148
and tickled your balls.
1141
01:01:29,434 --> 01:01:30,935
Hello. Thank you.
1142
01:01:33,822 --> 01:01:35,323
I just got a present.
1143
01:01:36,324 --> 01:01:37,825
Oh!
1144
01:01:37,826 --> 01:01:42,330
He just sent over
the most beautiful dress I've ever seen!
1145
01:01:42,914 --> 01:01:45,283
I feel like Cinderella.
1146
01:01:45,283 --> 01:01:48,786
Careful, if you're
not home by midnight, it might turn into a pantsuit.
1147
01:01:57,929 --> 01:01:59,547
Wow!
1148
01:01:59,547 --> 01:02:00,798
Look at you.
1149
01:02:03,301 --> 01:02:06,304
You don't...
You don't think it's a little small?
1150
01:02:07,806 --> 01:02:09,307
I'm sorry.
1151
01:02:09,307 --> 01:02:11,642
It was hard to tell
what was going on underneath the pantsuit.
1152
01:02:14,312 --> 01:02:17,231
Perfect. You ready?
1153
01:02:17,232 --> 01:02:19,234
Okay.
You all right?
1154
01:02:22,737 --> 01:02:23,738
Excuse me.
1155
01:02:26,241 --> 01:02:27,242
All right.
1156
01:02:27,242 --> 01:02:28,543
Ready? All right.
Ready.
1157
01:02:30,462 --> 01:02:35,467
♪ I feel lucky
I feel free
1158
01:02:35,467 --> 01:02:40,472
♪ I feel everything's
a possibility ♪
1159
01:02:45,477 --> 01:02:47,479
I can't believe
Senator Phillips and his wife
1160
01:02:47,479 --> 01:02:49,981
were talking to us for,
like, 15 minutes. I know!
1161
01:02:49,981 --> 01:02:51,983
He didn't even know my name
before tonight.
1162
01:02:51,983 --> 01:02:54,986
Now he wants to hear my ideas
about the tobacco reform bill.
1163
01:02:54,986 --> 01:02:58,990
And she wants to
take me out to lunch. Some place with popovers!
1164
01:03:00,492 --> 01:03:02,494
We make a great team.
1165
01:03:02,494 --> 01:03:04,579
With you by my side,
we could own this town.
1166
01:03:04,579 --> 01:03:06,581
We could totally own it.
1167
01:03:06,581 --> 01:03:08,366
I mean it, Ally.
1168
01:03:12,537 --> 01:03:16,374
Look, I have my eyes
on a Senate seat, and then the presidency.
1169
01:03:16,374 --> 01:03:18,376
Now, if tonight
is any indication,
1170
01:03:18,376 --> 01:03:20,211
I think together
we could go all the way.
1171
01:03:20,678 --> 01:03:21,545
Let's do it!
1172
01:03:21,546 --> 01:03:22,797
So, we're doing it?
1173
01:03:22,797 --> 01:03:24,098
Yeah!
1174
01:03:25,099 --> 01:03:26,967
What are we doing?
1175
01:03:27,468 --> 01:03:28,802
We're getting married!
1176
01:03:30,271 --> 01:03:32,273
Oh.
Yeah!
1177
01:03:32,273 --> 01:03:34,275
Well,
1178
01:03:34,275 --> 01:03:37,528
maybe we should kiss first
and see how that goes.
1179
01:03:37,529 --> 01:03:40,899
A kiss? No.
1180
01:03:40,899 --> 01:03:43,902
I want you to be my beard.
I'm gay.
1181
01:03:46,621 --> 01:03:47,705
What?
1182
01:03:47,705 --> 01:03:49,707
Gay. Like super gay.
1183
01:03:49,707 --> 01:03:53,210
Like, one down here, one here,
one here, one here, gay.
1184
01:03:54,712 --> 01:03:56,914
I thought you knew that.
1185
01:03:56,915 --> 01:03:59,417
America's ready for
a black President.
1186
01:03:59,417 --> 01:04:02,219
They're not ready for
a gay black President.
1187
01:04:02,220 --> 01:04:05,223
And we have history, Ally.
1188
01:04:05,223 --> 01:04:08,559
I mean, I wouldn't
have known I was gay if I hadn't dated you.
1189
01:04:10,478 --> 01:04:12,980
So, what do you say?
1190
01:04:12,981 --> 01:04:14,983
Can I get back to you?
1191
01:04:34,752 --> 01:04:36,253
Hey, Bandit.
1192
01:04:40,792 --> 01:04:42,593
Wait, wait, wait. Don't move.
Stay right there.
1193
01:04:44,429 --> 01:04:45,847
What are you doing here?
1194
01:04:45,847 --> 01:04:47,348
I'm not depressed enough
to sleep with you.
1195
01:04:47,348 --> 01:04:48,849
Close your eyes.
1196
01:04:49,267 --> 01:04:50,268
That won't help.
1197
01:04:50,268 --> 01:04:51,602
And
1198
01:04:52,053 --> 01:04:53,554
open them.
1199
01:04:58,693 --> 01:05:00,194
What do you think?
1200
01:05:08,703 --> 01:05:09,737
My wiring's a little spotty.
1201
01:05:09,737 --> 01:05:12,406
Every time these go on,
your bathroom light burns out,
1202
01:05:12,407 --> 01:05:14,292
but I think it's worth it.
1203
01:05:17,578 --> 01:05:19,079
What did you do?
1204
01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:21,082
I think it really
brings out the detail, you know?
1205
01:05:21,082 --> 01:05:23,584
I never noticed
Louie's gold tooth before.
1206
01:05:23,885 --> 01:05:25,803
I named him Louie,
by the way.
1207
01:05:27,505 --> 01:05:29,340
I can't believe it.
1208
01:05:29,757 --> 01:05:31,759
This is amazing.
1209
01:05:31,759 --> 01:05:35,262
Yeah. Well,
you sounded depressed on the phone, so...
1210
01:05:35,763 --> 01:05:37,264
You hungry?
1211
01:05:38,766 --> 01:05:39,933
I'm starving!
1212
01:05:42,236 --> 01:05:45,105
So, I got good news.
I found Julie from college.
1213
01:05:45,106 --> 01:05:48,109
She is a man now,
and she's single.
1214
01:05:48,609 --> 01:05:50,243
She's cute.
Looks like Ralph Macchio.
1215
01:05:52,163 --> 01:05:53,864
You know what?
1216
01:05:53,865 --> 01:05:55,366
Even if he were straight,
it wouldn't have worked anyway.
1217
01:05:55,833 --> 01:05:59,336
You got to be a lady
to be the First Lady, and I ain't no lady.
1218
01:05:59,337 --> 01:06:02,206
You're a lady.
You're lots of lady.
1219
01:06:02,707 --> 01:06:06,627
You're once, twice,
20 times a lady.
1220
01:06:12,884 --> 01:06:14,385
Okay. Okay.
1221
01:06:14,385 --> 01:06:17,020
♪ You're once, twice
1222
01:06:17,021 --> 01:06:19,523
♪ Three times a lady
1223
01:06:21,025 --> 01:06:23,027
♪ I love you
1224
01:06:25,530 --> 01:06:29,116
♪ Yeah, you're once, twice
1225
01:06:30,118 --> 01:06:31,402
♪ Three times a lady
1226
01:06:33,821 --> 01:06:36,824
♪ I love you ♪
1227
01:06:40,128 --> 01:06:41,829
Thank you. Thank you.
1228
01:06:41,829 --> 01:06:43,080
Whoa.
1229
01:06:47,468 --> 01:06:49,470
Oh, shit.
1230
01:06:49,470 --> 01:06:52,473
I either need to
lie down or throw up.
1231
01:06:52,974 --> 01:06:53,975
You okay?
1232
01:06:53,975 --> 01:06:56,477
Yeah. No.
1233
01:06:57,478 --> 01:06:58,979
I have to go to
my sister's wedding alone.
1234
01:07:00,398 --> 01:07:02,066
I'll go with you.
1235
01:07:02,567 --> 01:07:03,568
You'd do that?
1236
01:07:03,568 --> 01:07:05,069
Yeah. Why not?
1237
01:07:07,572 --> 01:07:11,075
Thanks.
I really appreciate that.
1238
01:07:14,529 --> 01:07:16,914
I still think
I'm gonna throw up.
1239
01:07:18,866 --> 01:07:19,666
Let's get some air.
1240
01:07:30,211 --> 01:07:31,712
What are we doing?
1241
01:07:31,712 --> 01:07:35,215
Just because it's dark
doesn't mean you have to whisper.
1242
01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:40,721
Are we in the Garden?
1243
01:07:40,721 --> 01:07:42,055
Yep.
1244
01:07:42,974 --> 01:07:44,976
This has got
to be illegal.
1245
01:07:44,976 --> 01:07:47,478
Yeah, probably.
I worked here one summer.
1246
01:07:47,478 --> 01:07:48,645
I passed out programs
1247
01:07:48,646 --> 01:07:51,148
and I managed
to swipe a passkey before I got fired.
1248
01:07:51,649 --> 01:07:52,449
You got fired?
1249
01:07:52,450 --> 01:07:55,953
Yeah. There was an incident
with the mascot.
1250
01:07:56,454 --> 01:07:57,788
What happened?
1251
01:07:58,122 --> 01:08:01,041
I may or may not have pissed
in his pot of gold.
1252
01:08:01,542 --> 01:08:02,743
Ever played H.O.R.S.E.
in the Garden?
1253
01:08:02,743 --> 01:08:03,627
No.
1254
01:08:06,330 --> 01:08:08,131
But I have played H.O.R.S.E.
1255
01:08:08,132 --> 01:08:09,666
Okay, okay.
1256
01:08:11,552 --> 01:08:12,719
Okay.
1257
01:08:15,089 --> 01:08:17,641
Oh! No!
1258
01:08:17,642 --> 01:08:22,146
"H" for you, my friend.
What are you doing?
1259
01:08:22,146 --> 01:08:26,016
We're playing strip H.O.R.S.E.
Is there another kind?
1260
01:08:26,017 --> 01:08:28,019
There's the kind
where you keep your clothes on.
1261
01:08:28,019 --> 01:08:32,156
What's fun about that? All right. "H."
1262
01:08:33,524 --> 01:08:35,442
Backboard.
1263
01:08:37,161 --> 01:08:39,163
Uh-huh.
1264
01:08:39,163 --> 01:08:40,447
Okay. Okay.
1265
01:08:47,121 --> 01:08:49,423
Oh, my God!
1266
01:09:00,468 --> 01:09:01,469
Nope.
1267
01:09:06,190 --> 01:09:07,641
Yeah!
1268
01:09:07,642 --> 01:09:09,560
Panty time!
1269
01:09:12,146 --> 01:09:14,148
Come on!
1270
01:09:24,742 --> 01:09:26,543
That was close.
That's an "H."
1271
01:09:29,797 --> 01:09:32,800
This is not fair.
1272
01:09:32,800 --> 01:09:35,969
I miss one shot,
and I'm almost totally naked.
1273
01:09:36,971 --> 01:09:38,589
Well, that's the game.
1274
01:09:38,589 --> 01:09:41,091
Well, the game is changing.
1275
01:09:41,092 --> 01:09:42,893
It's now one-on-one.
1276
01:09:49,650 --> 01:09:51,485
This way. Let's go, baby.
1277
01:09:53,738 --> 01:09:55,072
Come get it.
1278
01:09:55,072 --> 01:09:56,907
Okay. Let's go.
1279
01:10:00,411 --> 01:10:02,413
♪ Here we go, here we go
Satellite radio
1280
01:10:02,413 --> 01:10:04,114
♪ Y'all getting hit
with boom boom
1281
01:10:04,115 --> 01:10:06,033
♪ Beats so big
I'm stepping on leprechauns
1282
01:10:06,033 --> 01:10:07,834
♪ Shittin' on y'all
with the boom boom
1283
01:10:07,835 --> 01:10:09,786
♪ Shittin' on y'all
with the boom boom
1284
01:10:09,787 --> 01:10:11,672
♪ Shittin' on
y'all with the... ♪
1285
01:10:28,222 --> 01:10:29,773
ALLY: Oh, my God.
1286
01:10:29,774 --> 01:10:31,275
I can't believe it.
1287
01:10:31,275 --> 01:10:33,777
I think that dress
is gonna look good on him.
1288
01:10:33,778 --> 01:10:35,279
It's a good thing
you play the guitar,
1289
01:10:35,279 --> 01:10:36,780
because you suck
at basketball.
1290
01:10:38,783 --> 01:10:40,785
Well, you can't be
good at everything. It just wouldn't be fair.
1291
01:10:41,152 --> 01:10:43,654
And I can't believe
that you can play Lionel Richie!
1292
01:10:44,155 --> 01:10:45,656
I can play a lot of things.
1293
01:10:45,656 --> 01:10:48,909
So, how come you
don't make a living at it? You're really good.
1294
01:10:48,909 --> 01:10:51,795
Ah, I want
to play my own music.
1295
01:10:52,163 --> 01:10:54,165
Don't you worry
about paying the rent?
1296
01:10:54,165 --> 01:10:56,167
I don't love marketing, but...
1297
01:10:56,167 --> 01:10:57,668
What do you love?
1298
01:11:02,173 --> 01:11:04,341
I love making those
freaky little sculptures,
1299
01:11:04,842 --> 01:11:06,343
but I'm not gonna
make any money at that.
1300
01:11:06,344 --> 01:11:09,347
How do you know?
You've never tried.
1301
01:11:09,347 --> 01:11:13,351
I've never jumped
into the harbor, either.
1302
01:11:13,351 --> 01:11:15,853
Doesn't mean that
it's a good idea.
1303
01:11:15,853 --> 01:11:16,854
I think it's a great idea.
1304
01:11:16,854 --> 01:11:20,858
I think it's the best idea
you've ever had.
1305
01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:24,362
No.
Yes.
1306
01:11:24,362 --> 01:11:25,863
No.
Yes!
1307
01:11:25,863 --> 01:11:27,531
No.
Yes!
1308
01:11:27,531 --> 01:11:28,949
We are gonna jump in the harbor!
1309
01:11:28,949 --> 01:11:30,450
No. No. No. No.
Let's go.
1310
01:11:30,868 --> 01:11:32,870
God! No!
1311
01:11:32,870 --> 01:11:33,871
Let's do it!
1312
01:11:54,942 --> 01:11:56,944
Holy fuck,
this is fucking cold!
1313
01:11:56,944 --> 01:11:58,946
This is the worst idea
you've ever had!
1314
01:12:12,076 --> 01:12:15,079
I can't believe you
finally got me naked.
1315
01:12:15,079 --> 01:12:16,914
Well, my shirt
does look good on you.
1316
01:12:16,914 --> 01:12:18,665
Good, 'cause I'm keeping it.
1317
01:12:18,666 --> 01:12:21,468
No, you're not.
I can't afford to lose any more shirts.
1318
01:12:21,469 --> 01:12:23,471
Women are always
stealing my shirts.
1319
01:12:23,471 --> 01:12:25,473
Women aren't always
stealing your shirts.
1320
01:12:25,806 --> 01:12:27,724
They're borrowing them,
fully intending to give them back,
1321
01:12:27,725 --> 01:12:30,227
but you never call.
1322
01:12:30,227 --> 01:12:32,395
So, you're saying
that if I have fewer one-night stands,
1323
01:12:32,897 --> 01:12:34,431
I'll have more shirts?
1324
01:12:34,432 --> 01:12:35,933
I think so.
1325
01:12:40,104 --> 01:12:41,405
Well, then, that settles it.
1326
01:12:43,324 --> 01:12:44,692
I'm changing my ways,
1327
01:12:45,192 --> 01:12:47,527
and I'm not gonna
lose any more shirts.
1328
01:12:49,497 --> 01:12:50,748
Really?
1329
01:12:51,115 --> 01:12:52,116
Really.
1330
01:12:54,452 --> 01:12:58,456
In fact, I think I'm gonna
take this one back right now.
1331
01:12:58,456 --> 01:12:59,957
Good for you.
1332
01:13:24,815 --> 01:13:25,816
Wait.
1333
01:13:25,816 --> 01:13:26,817
It's okay, I have one.
1334
01:13:26,817 --> 01:13:28,318
No.
1335
01:13:29,320 --> 01:13:31,121
I have to slow down.
1336
01:13:33,491 --> 01:13:36,494
Okay. Okay, that's fine.
1337
01:13:40,080 --> 01:13:44,084
What if I just put
it in a little bit? It won't even count.
1338
01:13:44,084 --> 01:13:46,086
Eileen says it counts.
1339
01:13:49,089 --> 01:13:52,092
What about, like, that much?
That's nothing.
1340
01:13:52,092 --> 01:13:54,094
You won't even feel it.
1341
01:13:56,397 --> 01:13:59,016
Okay. I understand.
That's fine.
1342
01:14:01,018 --> 01:14:03,353
But I am gonna
keep kissing you.
1343
01:14:35,628 --> 01:14:36,629
Hi.
1344
01:14:36,629 --> 01:14:38,464
Hi.
1345
01:14:38,465 --> 01:14:41,251
You look so beautiful
in the morning.
1346
01:14:42,168 --> 01:14:44,170
I do?
Yeah.
1347
01:14:52,479 --> 01:14:53,763
How's this for
a slice of awesome?
1348
01:14:54,180 --> 01:14:57,483
Mexican wrestling
on pay-per-view all day.
1349
01:14:57,484 --> 01:14:58,985
I will run to the store
1350
01:14:58,985 --> 01:15:01,237
and get eggs and salsa
for huevos rancheros,
1351
01:15:01,571 --> 01:15:05,074
you stay here and
whip up margaritas. Sound good?
1352
01:15:06,075 --> 01:15:09,661
Shit! I can't! Oh, my God!
1353
01:15:10,663 --> 01:15:11,664
Cereal?
1354
01:15:12,115 --> 01:15:13,916
No! I'm meeting Daisy.
1355
01:15:14,284 --> 01:15:17,837
I'm already late.
She hates it when I'm late. Oh, no.
1356
01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:42,061
Whoo!
1357
01:15:42,061 --> 01:15:45,230
I can't believe
Eddie didn't want to pick out these place cards.
1358
01:15:45,231 --> 01:15:47,733
Oh, no, no, no. He has
terrible taste in fonts.
1359
01:15:47,734 --> 01:15:49,702
Have you convinced Mom
to come to the wedding yet?
1360
01:15:49,702 --> 01:15:50,703
No, and I don't have to,
1361
01:15:50,703 --> 01:15:53,155
because you are gonna
talk Dad out of coming.
1362
01:15:53,156 --> 01:15:54,991
I am?
Let's face it.
1363
01:15:55,408 --> 01:15:57,410
Dad's only coming because
he thinks that he has to.
1364
01:15:57,410 --> 01:16:00,579
So, why not just
let him off the hook and make everybody happy?
1365
01:16:00,580 --> 01:16:02,582
It's not a bad idea.
1366
01:16:02,582 --> 01:16:05,585
Oh, great! You guys can
cast the final vote. We've narrowed it down.
1367
01:16:05,585 --> 01:16:09,338
To this one,
or this nearly identical one.
1368
01:16:09,339 --> 01:16:10,923
Monotype Corsiva.
1369
01:16:10,924 --> 01:16:12,558
How do you know that?
I'm married.
1370
01:16:12,976 --> 01:16:15,812
EILEEN: Okay, are we done?
Because we want to hear about D.C.
1371
01:16:16,179 --> 01:16:17,730
Did you go to
the Holocaust Museum?
1372
01:16:17,730 --> 01:16:19,732
No, but that would
have been more fun.
1373
01:16:19,732 --> 01:16:21,567
So, there were
no sparks with Tom?
1374
01:16:21,568 --> 01:16:25,021
Tom? What happened to Jake?
I thought you were looking for Jake.
1375
01:16:25,488 --> 01:16:28,491
Jake's in Africa
and Tom's gay, but it's okay,
1376
01:16:28,491 --> 01:16:30,993
because Colin is gonna be
my date for the wedding.
1377
01:16:31,494 --> 01:16:33,529
Is that the guy
who answered your cell phone
1378
01:16:33,529 --> 01:16:36,281
and got mad at me
for waking him up at 2:00 in the afternoon?
1379
01:16:36,282 --> 01:16:38,117
Yeah. I took
his phone by mistake.
1380
01:16:38,534 --> 01:16:40,752
You invited Colin?
Your rapey neighbor?
1381
01:16:40,753 --> 01:16:42,004
Do we call him that?
1382
01:16:42,338 --> 01:16:44,873
Just behind your back.
1383
01:16:44,874 --> 01:16:48,878
Okay. Well, let's stop
because he's actually a pretty good guy.
1384
01:16:48,878 --> 01:16:50,346
DAISY: Oh, Ally.
1385
01:16:50,346 --> 01:16:51,347
What?
1386
01:16:51,848 --> 01:16:52,849
You slept with him!
1387
01:16:52,849 --> 01:16:54,350
Oh, no!
1388
01:16:54,350 --> 01:16:57,136
I did not. I didn't.
1389
01:16:57,136 --> 01:16:58,470
EILEEN: Good. Don't.
1390
01:16:58,471 --> 01:16:59,972
Because he's not
the kind of guy you end up with.
1391
01:16:59,973 --> 01:17:02,525
He's the kind of guy you date
before the guy you end up with.
1392
01:17:02,525 --> 01:17:04,527
How do you know?
You haven't even met him.
1393
01:17:04,527 --> 01:17:06,729
I don't have to meet him.
I've had sex with him.
1394
01:17:06,729 --> 01:17:09,231
Except his name is Doug,
and he's a fucking liar!
1395
01:17:09,732 --> 01:17:12,868
Well, I have met him,
and he is dangerously sexy.
1396
01:17:12,869 --> 01:17:16,789
And if he wanted to come in
through the back door, you'd let him.
1397
01:17:16,789 --> 01:17:18,073
Don't let him, Ally.
1398
01:17:18,458 --> 01:17:20,460
You guys don't need to worry.
1399
01:17:20,460 --> 01:17:22,462
I'm not going to
let him in any door.
1400
01:17:22,462 --> 01:17:24,964
He's just a friend
who's doing me a favor.
1401
01:17:52,408 --> 01:17:54,410
COLIN: Honey, I'm home.
1402
01:17:56,112 --> 01:18:00,116
So, I TiVo-ed
Mexican wrestling for you and I cooked.
1403
01:18:00,116 --> 01:18:03,119
They're supposed
to be taquitos, they look like cannolis,
1404
01:18:03,119 --> 01:18:06,622
but they kind of taste
like egg rolls.
1405
01:18:06,622 --> 01:18:09,007
What are you doing?
Are you working on the diner? All right.
1406
01:18:10,510 --> 01:18:12,512
Don't let me bug you.
1407
01:18:18,851 --> 01:18:21,854
Hey, so,
just out of curiosity,
1408
01:18:21,854 --> 01:18:24,356
did you ever hear
anything from Jake?
1409
01:18:24,857 --> 01:18:26,141
Nope.
1410
01:18:28,644 --> 01:18:31,530
Really?
Not a phone call? Nothing?
1411
01:18:31,981 --> 01:18:33,482
Nope.
1412
01:18:36,486 --> 01:18:38,488
Okay, well,
1413
01:18:38,488 --> 01:18:42,241
I'm kind of busy right now,
so I guess I'll just see you later.
1414
01:18:43,543 --> 01:18:45,044
Shit! Ally, wait.
1415
01:18:45,044 --> 01:18:46,545
Wait, wait.
Just go.
1416
01:18:46,546 --> 01:18:48,047
I don't want to
hear any more lies.
1417
01:18:48,047 --> 01:18:49,548
All right, yes.
Jake is back in town
1418
01:18:49,549 --> 01:18:52,084
and I do have his number,
but I didn't think that mattered now.
1419
01:18:52,468 --> 01:18:53,836
Would you please just go?
1420
01:18:53,836 --> 01:18:55,337
What about last night?
1421
01:18:55,338 --> 01:18:57,340
I think we should just forget
about last night.
1422
01:18:57,840 --> 01:18:59,641
Because of Jake?
No.
1423
01:19:01,477 --> 01:19:05,514
Because you're
not the kind of guy I'm supposed to end up with.
1424
01:19:06,849 --> 01:19:08,233
What kind of guy am I, Ally?
1425
01:19:11,237 --> 01:19:12,738
You're the kind
of guy you date
1426
01:19:12,739 --> 01:19:14,240
before you meet
the guy you end up with,
1427
01:19:14,240 --> 01:19:15,608
and I've already
dated 20 of you.
1428
01:19:21,614 --> 01:19:23,282
So, you're gonna try
and make it work with Jake,
1429
01:19:23,282 --> 01:19:24,783
a guy you haven't
seen in years,
1430
01:19:24,784 --> 01:19:26,702
just so you don't go
over the number 20?
1431
01:19:26,702 --> 01:19:28,203
It's not just
about a number anymore, okay?
1432
01:19:28,704 --> 01:19:29,504
Well, then what is it?
1433
01:19:29,789 --> 01:19:30,539
It's what I want!
1434
01:19:30,873 --> 01:19:32,174
You don't know
what you want, Ally.
1435
01:19:32,675 --> 01:19:34,843
You're so busy trying to be
what everyone else wants you to be,
1436
01:19:34,844 --> 01:19:35,678
you don't know who you are.
1437
01:19:36,095 --> 01:19:38,597
At least I have
relationships.
1438
01:19:38,598 --> 01:19:41,100
You can't even
hang out with a woman for 24 hours
1439
01:19:41,100 --> 01:19:41,934
without sleeping with her.
1440
01:19:42,351 --> 01:19:44,219
That was true until I met you.
1441
01:19:47,690 --> 01:19:52,227
Well, I'm sure that
if we had slept together, you'd be long gone by now,
1442
01:19:52,228 --> 01:19:53,729
because that's
who you are, Colin,
1443
01:19:53,729 --> 01:19:55,731
and that's who
you'll always be.
1444
01:19:58,701 --> 01:20:00,202
All right.
Whatever you say, Ally.
1445
01:20:00,203 --> 01:20:02,205
You obviously have
it all figured out.
1446
01:20:05,625 --> 01:20:07,627
And I do know who I am!
1447
01:20:07,627 --> 01:20:09,128
I'm someone who's
not gonna let
1448
01:20:09,128 --> 01:20:11,630
another undeserving
asshole into my heart!
1449
01:20:11,631 --> 01:20:13,633
Or my vagina!
1450
01:20:13,633 --> 01:20:15,501
MALE TENANT: Shut the fuck up!
1451
01:20:15,501 --> 01:20:16,502
Stop fucking your dog!
1452
01:20:43,383 --> 01:20:46,636
Hi, Jake Adams, it's Ally.
1453
01:20:47,137 --> 01:20:50,640
Ally Darling from high school.
Go, Vikings.
1454
01:20:51,141 --> 01:20:53,059
Um...
1455
01:20:53,059 --> 01:20:54,560
I came across your number,
1456
01:20:54,561 --> 01:20:59,065
and I thought, "Wow,
I should really call Jake
1457
01:20:59,065 --> 01:21:04,070
"and leave him a long,
rambling message on his voice mail."
1458
01:21:05,822 --> 01:21:09,325
Anyway,
if you're feeling up to it,
1459
01:21:09,325 --> 01:21:11,827
you can give me
a call anytime.
1460
01:21:11,828 --> 01:21:14,330
My number is 617-55...
1461
01:21:15,331 --> 01:21:19,335
Oh, my God, I just hiccupped.
I'm sorry.
1462
01:21:19,836 --> 01:21:21,504
617-55...
1463
01:21:23,006 --> 01:21:25,008
All right. Okay...
1464
01:21:25,008 --> 01:21:27,927
My number is 617-555-0192.
Okay, bye.
1465
01:21:33,016 --> 01:21:36,019
Well, who doesn't
call that girl back?
1466
01:21:43,059 --> 01:21:44,276
Not again.
1467
01:21:44,277 --> 01:21:46,279
Who's the surprise
guest this time?
1468
01:21:46,279 --> 01:21:47,480
I was supposed to
have lunch with Dad
1469
01:21:47,480 --> 01:21:48,981
to tell him that he
didn't have to come to the wedding,
1470
01:21:48,982 --> 01:21:50,566
but then he said he was
gonna bring his girlfriend.
1471
01:21:50,567 --> 01:21:52,569
Jacinda?
Yeah.
1472
01:21:52,569 --> 01:21:53,953
And I just couldn't
have that conversation with him in front of her.
1473
01:21:53,953 --> 01:21:56,455
So, I just thought, you know,
we could do it together.
1474
01:21:56,456 --> 01:22:00,293
I am never meeting you
for another meal ever again.
1475
01:22:00,794 --> 01:22:03,296
You don't mean that.
1476
01:22:03,296 --> 01:22:05,548
Ally, I didn't
know you were coming. What a nice surprise.
1477
01:22:06,049 --> 01:22:07,300
Hi.
I'm Daisy.
1478
01:22:07,300 --> 01:22:10,136
Got all my girls here.
I see that you've got one of these, too.
1479
01:22:10,136 --> 01:22:12,721
I got a couple
for the two of us, so we can text and tweet.
1480
01:22:12,722 --> 01:22:15,975
You should
follow me on Twitter, "VeryTerry3."
1481
01:22:15,975 --> 01:22:17,977
Or we could just
talk right now.
1482
01:22:17,977 --> 01:22:20,813
LOL.
1483
01:22:20,814 --> 01:22:24,267
He is so excited
about your wedding. It's all he can text about.
1484
01:22:24,267 --> 01:22:27,270
I can't wait for everyone
to meet my lady.
1485
01:22:28,488 --> 01:22:30,490
Oh, you're coming
to the wedding, too?
1486
01:22:30,490 --> 01:22:33,493
That's great. That's so great.
1487
01:22:33,493 --> 01:22:34,994
Ally, isn't that so great?
1488
01:22:34,994 --> 01:22:36,996
It's great.
It's so great.
1489
01:22:37,747 --> 01:22:38,748
Oh!
1490
01:22:41,117 --> 01:22:42,368
Excuse me for a second.
1491
01:22:43,203 --> 01:22:44,704
Don't go.
1492
01:22:44,704 --> 01:22:45,705
We are just fine.
1493
01:22:49,042 --> 01:22:51,177
Hold up. Ashton is
getting his car washed.
1494
01:22:51,177 --> 01:22:52,678
Nuh-uh.
Lookit.
1495
01:22:57,800 --> 01:23:00,052
♪ I am a human rocket
1496
01:23:00,053 --> 01:23:02,388
♪ On a mission of deployment
1497
01:23:02,388 --> 01:23:04,556
♪ I've been cocked and loaded
1498
01:23:04,557 --> 01:23:06,692
♪ Ready for the culmination
1499
01:23:06,693 --> 01:23:09,362
♪ I am a human missile
1500
01:23:09,362 --> 01:23:11,113
♪ Guided by a secret agenda
1501
01:23:11,114 --> 01:23:13,616
♪ That commands
my every thoughts and deeds
1502
01:23:14,117 --> 01:23:16,068
♪ And wills me on my way
1503
01:23:20,490 --> 01:23:22,492
♪ I am a human rocket
1504
01:23:22,992 --> 01:23:25,294
♪ On a mission of redemption
1505
01:23:25,295 --> 01:23:27,163
♪ I've been cocked and loaded
1506
01:23:27,163 --> 01:23:29,632
♪ Primed by everything I know
1507
01:23:29,632 --> 01:23:32,134
♪ I am a human missile
1508
01:23:32,135 --> 01:23:34,003
♪ Guided by a secret voice
1509
01:23:34,003 --> 01:23:36,555
♪ That commands
my every thoughts and deeds
1510
01:23:36,556 --> 01:23:38,975
♪ And wills me
on my righteous way ♪
1511
01:24:38,618 --> 01:24:40,119
JAKE: All right. Great.
1512
01:24:41,621 --> 01:24:42,905
Ally.
1513
01:24:43,706 --> 01:24:44,707
Jake.
1514
01:24:46,326 --> 01:24:48,711
My brothers actually
went more into the business side of things,
1515
01:24:48,711 --> 01:24:51,714
and when my dad asked me
to run the foundation,
1516
01:24:51,714 --> 01:24:54,717
it was sort of
more of a natural fit for me, you know?
1517
01:24:54,717 --> 01:24:57,219
I've always been better
at giving away money versus making it.
1518
01:24:57,720 --> 01:24:59,304
I'm rambling.
I can hear myself totally rambling.
1519
01:24:59,305 --> 01:25:00,923
No. No, no, not at all.
I am. I am.
1520
01:25:00,923 --> 01:25:03,425
I've been doing it all day.
Kind of, but it's interesting.
1521
01:25:03,426 --> 01:25:05,394
Hey, what do...
I mean, what about you?
1522
01:25:05,395 --> 01:25:07,480
Last I heard you were
in marketing, right?
1523
01:25:07,480 --> 01:25:11,484
Yeah. I'm actually
in between jobs right now.
1524
01:25:11,484 --> 01:25:12,735
Well, listen, say the word.
1525
01:25:13,236 --> 01:25:14,737
I mean,
I can get you an interview over at Adams in two seconds.
1526
01:25:14,737 --> 01:25:16,488
Oh, thank you.
1527
01:25:16,489 --> 01:25:17,323
But you know what?
I'm actually...
1528
01:25:17,323 --> 01:25:18,824
I'm thinking
about making a change.
1529
01:25:18,825 --> 01:25:21,494
A change? Oh, yeah?
What would you do?
1530
01:25:22,996 --> 01:25:25,498
I make these clay sculptures.
1531
01:25:25,999 --> 01:25:29,335
They're sort of
these freaky little urban scenes.
1532
01:25:29,335 --> 01:25:32,421
They're kind of
hard to explain. I'd really have to show you.
1533
01:25:32,922 --> 01:25:34,206
I'd love to see them.
1534
01:25:35,625 --> 01:25:37,126
Really?
1535
01:25:37,126 --> 01:25:39,011
They're in my shower.
1536
01:25:40,513 --> 01:25:42,348
Then I guess we're done here.
1537
01:25:48,271 --> 01:25:50,773
See. This is where they dry.
1538
01:25:50,773 --> 01:25:52,775
Wow. They really
are in your shower.
1539
01:25:52,775 --> 01:25:54,276
Yep.
1540
01:26:11,794 --> 01:26:14,079
ALLY: Did I tell you
that he speaks four different languages,
1541
01:26:14,080 --> 01:26:15,998
but he's so not
obnoxious about it?
1542
01:26:15,998 --> 01:26:20,002
And he's still so
goddamn handsome, and he smells so fucking good.
1543
01:26:20,002 --> 01:26:22,004
It's crazy.
1544
01:26:22,004 --> 01:26:24,506
He's taking me to a gala
at the Institute of Contemporary Art,
1545
01:26:24,507 --> 01:26:26,509
and then I think
we're going to go...
1546
01:26:26,509 --> 01:26:29,011
Whoa.
That's not your dress.
1547
01:26:29,512 --> 01:26:32,014
Yeah. Yeah, I know, I just...
1548
01:26:32,014 --> 01:26:34,566
Yeah,
I just like this one better, 'cause there's just...
1549
01:26:34,567 --> 01:26:37,570
You know,
it's more comfortable. There's just more room to...
1550
01:26:37,570 --> 01:26:41,907
To eat and to move, and to...
To dance.
1551
01:26:41,908 --> 01:26:43,192
Okay.
1552
01:26:43,192 --> 01:26:45,194
I couldn't breathe
in my other dress!
1553
01:26:45,194 --> 01:26:48,614
A bride should
be able to breathe in her own fucking dress!
1554
01:26:48,614 --> 01:26:52,618
Sorry, I just am feeling
really stressed out right now
1555
01:26:52,618 --> 01:26:56,755
because I don't know how
I'm going to convince Mom
1556
01:26:56,756 --> 01:26:58,674
to come to my wedding,
1557
01:26:58,674 --> 01:27:01,677
because our dad
is bringing our new mommy,
1558
01:27:01,677 --> 01:27:03,178
and she's not...
Stop.
1559
01:27:03,179 --> 01:27:04,680
I will go with you
to talk to Mom,
1560
01:27:04,680 --> 01:27:07,683
and you don't even
have to trick me. Okay?
1561
01:27:07,683 --> 01:27:11,186
Now, are you sure
you can breathe in this dress?
1562
01:27:12,688 --> 01:27:14,690
Okay, then do that.
1563
01:27:17,276 --> 01:27:18,610
ALLY: It's really not
gonna be that bad.
1564
01:27:18,611 --> 01:27:21,113
We're gonna loosen her up.
We're gonna ease into it.
1565
01:27:21,114 --> 01:27:22,615
It's gonna be great.
1566
01:27:22,615 --> 01:27:24,400
If you say so.
1567
01:27:25,201 --> 01:27:26,702
Mom?
1568
01:27:29,122 --> 01:27:30,406
I don't believe you!
1569
01:27:30,406 --> 01:27:31,907
When were you planning
to tell me about all this?
1570
01:27:33,126 --> 01:27:34,130
Hmm?
1571
01:27:34,130 --> 01:27:36,132
Uh... Now?
1572
01:27:36,132 --> 01:27:37,633
That's why we're here, Mom.
1573
01:27:37,634 --> 01:27:40,753
I have to read
about it in a magazine?
1574
01:27:40,754 --> 01:27:42,589
You and Jake Adams.
1575
01:27:44,057 --> 01:27:45,508
Are you an item?
1576
01:27:47,010 --> 01:27:47,927
Yes?
1577
01:27:49,229 --> 01:27:51,431
Did you just squeal, Mom?
1578
01:27:51,431 --> 01:27:54,734
I don't know.
I'm out of my body right now.
1579
01:27:55,235 --> 01:27:57,353
Is it serious?
1580
01:27:57,354 --> 01:27:59,656
It could be,
but we're taking it slow.
1581
01:28:00,073 --> 01:28:01,574
Do you really
have that luxury?
1582
01:28:02,025 --> 01:28:03,526
I want to make sure
that it's right.
1583
01:28:03,526 --> 01:28:06,161
Oh, it doesn't get
any more right than Jake Adams.
1584
01:28:06,162 --> 01:28:09,165
This is your life, Ally,
don't get creative.
1585
01:28:09,165 --> 01:28:11,667
When I saw you two
in that magazine,
1586
01:28:11,668 --> 01:28:14,170
I went and found
some old photographs.
1587
01:28:15,588 --> 01:28:17,089
Just look at this.
1588
01:28:19,342 --> 01:28:21,344
I knew
he was the one.
1589
01:28:21,344 --> 01:28:23,596
Aw.
1590
01:28:24,047 --> 01:28:27,550
Tell me, Ally,
is he gonna be your date to the wedding?
1591
01:28:29,519 --> 01:28:31,020
Is he, Ally?
1592
01:28:35,525 --> 01:28:36,893
Yes.
1593
01:28:37,394 --> 01:28:38,978
Oh!
1594
01:28:38,978 --> 01:28:41,480
Oh, I got to get
the seating chart.
1595
01:28:41,481 --> 01:28:43,616
So, you're still
gonna come to the wedding,
1596
01:28:43,616 --> 01:28:45,618
even though Dad's
gonna be there, too?
1597
01:28:45,618 --> 01:28:46,869
Of course, darling.
1598
01:28:47,237 --> 01:28:49,489
My baby only
gets married once.
1599
01:28:49,489 --> 01:28:50,656
Right?
1600
01:28:52,125 --> 01:28:54,127
I am so proud of my girls.
1601
01:28:57,213 --> 01:28:59,215
Seating chart. Seating chart.
1602
01:28:59,215 --> 01:29:00,716
Where's the little
seating chart?
1603
01:29:01,217 --> 01:29:03,219
Do we tell her
about Jacinda?
1604
01:29:03,219 --> 01:29:06,222
No. I think we quit
while we're ahead.
1605
01:29:06,222 --> 01:29:08,224
Bye, Mom.
Bye, Mom.
1606
01:29:08,224 --> 01:29:09,592
What?
1607
01:29:09,592 --> 01:29:11,093
♪ ...and get you drunk
1608
01:29:11,094 --> 01:29:15,098
♪ So I can have
my wicked way with you
1609
01:29:15,098 --> 01:29:17,100
♪ I'm just being honest
1610
01:29:17,100 --> 01:29:22,271
♪ 'Cause I know
the other guys are thinking just the same way too
1611
01:29:25,442 --> 01:29:27,944
I really love
Japan.
1612
01:29:28,445 --> 01:29:30,246
Really?
1613
01:29:32,916 --> 01:29:34,500
Are those
mini cheeseburgers? Yes, they are.
1614
01:29:34,501 --> 01:29:36,503
May I? Thank you.
1615
01:29:38,004 --> 01:29:39,505
You didn't want one?
1616
01:29:39,506 --> 01:29:42,509
No, I'm okay. Thank you.
1617
01:29:42,509 --> 01:29:46,429
Mmm. These are excellent
mini cheeseburgers.
1618
01:29:46,429 --> 01:29:48,764
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
1619
01:29:50,600 --> 01:29:54,604
♪ Show me some skin
I might bite it
1620
01:29:54,604 --> 01:29:58,608
♪ I wanna have
my wicked way with you
1621
01:30:02,612 --> 01:30:08,117
♪ So I'm not gonna come over
and meet your mom and dad
1622
01:30:08,117 --> 01:30:10,619
♪ They know that I was bad
1623
01:30:10,620 --> 01:30:13,623
♪ I'm just thinking
of three hours or more
1624
01:30:14,123 --> 01:30:18,127
♪ So I can have
my wicked way with you
1625
01:30:19,913 --> 01:30:24,500
♪ My wicked way with you ♪
1626
01:30:31,841 --> 01:30:33,976
Colin, hi.
1627
01:30:33,977 --> 01:30:35,511
Hi.
1628
01:30:35,512 --> 01:30:39,516
Fancy meeting you here,
dressed all fancy.
1629
01:30:39,516 --> 01:30:40,817
Where you off to?
1630
01:30:42,101 --> 01:30:43,602
A wedding.
1631
01:30:43,603 --> 01:30:46,272
You, too, right?
Today's Daisy's big day.
1632
01:30:47,273 --> 01:30:49,275
Yeah.
1633
01:30:49,275 --> 01:30:53,279
Wow. You're going
to a wedding, too. That's weird.
1634
01:30:53,780 --> 01:30:54,747
Whose wedding?
1635
01:30:56,749 --> 01:30:58,617
Nobody you know.
1636
01:30:58,618 --> 01:31:01,120
Oh.
1637
01:31:01,120 --> 01:31:04,840
Is it like
a date or something? Are you seeing somebody?
1638
01:31:06,843 --> 01:31:09,345
Don't worry about it, Ally.
1639
01:31:16,352 --> 01:31:18,554
Don't drink
too much champagne.
1640
01:31:44,380 --> 01:31:46,215
Hey, is my hair
too high?
1641
01:31:46,633 --> 01:31:47,634
Oh, no, honey.
It's perfect.
1642
01:31:48,134 --> 01:31:49,135
JAMIE: Is it going on?
1643
01:31:49,135 --> 01:31:50,136
The dress doesn't fit.
1644
01:31:50,136 --> 01:31:51,637
Okay.
Why isn't it zipped?
1645
01:31:51,638 --> 01:31:53,473
Can I get some help here?
1646
01:31:53,473 --> 01:31:56,008
Where's my
Croissan'Wich?
1647
01:31:56,009 --> 01:31:57,010
Did somebody eat
my Croissan'Wich?
1648
01:31:57,510 --> 01:31:59,512
No, honey. Nobody did.
You just relax, okay?
1649
01:31:59,512 --> 01:32:01,263
Katie, Jamie,
find Daisy's Croissan'Wich.
1650
01:32:01,264 --> 01:32:03,065
Okay. On it.
Got it. Okay.
1651
01:32:04,067 --> 01:32:05,068
Okay, listen,
1652
01:32:05,068 --> 01:32:06,519
I don't want
anyone to panic but...
1653
01:32:06,519 --> 01:32:07,269
What's happening?
1654
01:32:07,654 --> 01:32:08,655
The harpist isn't coming.
1655
01:32:08,655 --> 01:32:10,273
I had a harpist?
1656
01:32:10,273 --> 01:32:12,108
She broke her finger
during the philharmonic softball league playoffs,
1657
01:32:12,108 --> 01:32:14,610
and given that this is
one of the busiest wedding weekends of the year,
1658
01:32:14,611 --> 01:32:16,195
all the other
harpists are booked.
1659
01:32:16,195 --> 01:32:18,197
Oh, Christ.
Why is this happening to me?
1660
01:32:18,197 --> 01:32:20,199
KEVIN: I got a list
of all the other weddings happening in the city
1661
01:32:20,199 --> 01:32:21,700
and found a replacement
who can be here
1662
01:32:21,701 --> 01:32:23,419
as soon as her
first wedding is over.
1663
01:32:23,419 --> 01:32:27,089
And if she doesn't show,
I play the horn.
1664
01:32:27,090 --> 01:32:28,925
Now let's get this
girl married, huh?
1665
01:32:30,426 --> 01:32:31,927
Daise, I got it.
1666
01:32:56,319 --> 01:32:58,821
OFFICIANT:
Please rise for the bride.
1667
01:33:06,996 --> 01:33:08,998
We are gathered here today
to celebrate the union
1668
01:33:08,998 --> 01:33:12,668
of Daisy Ann Darling
and Edward Michael Vogel.
1669
01:33:12,669 --> 01:33:15,972
Getting to know
Daisy and Eddie has reinforced my belief that,
1670
01:33:16,389 --> 01:33:18,007
while love is universal,
1671
01:33:18,007 --> 01:33:20,509
every couple is unique.
1672
01:33:27,400 --> 01:33:31,187
Daisy Darling,
today I make these vows to you.
1673
01:33:31,187 --> 01:33:33,689
I will never rhyme
"crazy" with "Daisy,"
1674
01:33:35,408 --> 01:33:38,027
even if I mean,
like, "crazy good."
1675
01:33:38,027 --> 01:33:40,412
I will not blow my nose
in the shower.
1676
01:33:42,665 --> 01:33:46,168
I promise to
always consult you before getting a haircut
1677
01:33:46,169 --> 01:33:47,503
and to never grow
a moustache.
1678
01:33:48,955 --> 01:33:50,256
Or a soul patch.
No.
1679
01:33:54,177 --> 01:33:57,463
I will not blame you
for the bad decisions you make in my dreams.
1680
01:34:01,467 --> 01:34:07,473
I will keep an eye
on that suspicious freckle on your back,
1681
01:34:07,473 --> 01:34:11,226
even though I'm
really sure it's nothing.
1682
01:34:11,227 --> 01:34:16,865
And I will not get mad at you
about everything
1683
01:34:16,866 --> 01:34:20,202
when I'm only
really mad at you about one thing.
1684
01:34:24,490 --> 01:34:25,491
OFFICIANT:
By the power vested in me,
1685
01:34:25,491 --> 01:34:27,910
I am happy to pronounce you
husband and wife.
1686
01:34:27,910 --> 01:34:29,411
You may kiss the bride.
1687
01:34:31,247 --> 01:34:37,586
♪ I'm holding a heart
here in my hand
1688
01:34:37,587 --> 01:34:43,509
♪ Hey, hey, hey
1689
01:34:43,509 --> 01:34:48,313
♪ My own work of art
1690
01:34:48,314 --> 01:34:50,733
♪ Here where I stand
1691
01:34:50,733 --> 01:34:56,238
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
1692
01:35:03,079 --> 01:35:07,833
♪ I can see clearly now
The rain is gone
1693
01:35:10,920 --> 01:35:14,290
♪ I can see all obstacles
in my way ♪
1694
01:35:14,290 --> 01:35:16,592
Quite a party.
Yeah, it sure is.
1695
01:35:16,592 --> 01:35:18,927
Hold on.
I have to tweet about this.
1696
01:35:18,928 --> 01:35:20,930
And hi there.
1697
01:35:25,051 --> 01:35:27,553
Your mom always did
have a great laugh.
1698
01:35:27,553 --> 01:35:30,055
I'm just glad she's happy.
1699
01:35:30,056 --> 01:35:32,058
Are you happy?
1700
01:35:32,058 --> 01:35:33,809
Yeah. Of course.
1701
01:35:39,949 --> 01:35:41,734
Your mom only wants
what's best for you, you know.
1702
01:35:41,734 --> 01:35:43,068
I know.
1703
01:35:43,069 --> 01:35:44,453
Unfortunately, she thinks
what's best for you
1704
01:35:44,453 --> 01:35:46,154
is being exactly like her,
1705
01:35:46,155 --> 01:35:47,489
only you're not, Ally.
1706
01:35:47,490 --> 01:35:50,576
You may have her looks,
but you have my rhythm, kid.
1707
01:35:50,877 --> 01:35:52,578
I'm afraid it's
a little offbeat.
1708
01:35:54,046 --> 01:35:57,215
I guess that explains
why she's always disappointed in me.
1709
01:35:57,216 --> 01:36:00,219
I think it's hard
for her to look at you and see so much of me.
1710
01:36:05,591 --> 01:36:09,394
♪ Thanks for the time
1711
01:36:09,395 --> 01:36:11,180
♪ That you've given me
1712
01:36:11,180 --> 01:36:13,565
Uh, may I?
1713
01:36:14,066 --> 01:36:15,567
Why not?
1714
01:36:15,568 --> 01:36:18,070
Thank you. Thank you, sir.
1715
01:36:20,439 --> 01:36:22,908
God, I'm sorry.
I just couldn't slow-dance with your mother.
1716
01:36:23,409 --> 01:36:25,411
No, that's okay.
1717
01:36:27,413 --> 01:36:30,916
I think the last time
we slow-danced was prom night.
1718
01:36:30,917 --> 01:36:33,920
Yeah. Yeah, it was.
I remember that.
1719
01:36:33,920 --> 01:36:35,421
I believe that
was also the night
1720
01:36:35,421 --> 01:36:37,423
where you finally
gave me the honor
1721
01:36:37,423 --> 01:36:40,926
of making you unfit
for every other man in the village.
1722
01:36:42,545 --> 01:36:44,346
Oh, boy.
1723
01:36:44,347 --> 01:36:47,633
♪ You're once, twice
1724
01:36:49,635 --> 01:36:53,021
♪ Three times a lady
1725
01:36:53,022 --> 01:36:56,525
I know this isn't
the ideal place to tell you, but I want to be honest.
1726
01:36:56,525 --> 01:36:58,276
You weren't my first.
1727
01:36:59,562 --> 01:37:00,563
I wasn't?
1728
01:37:00,563 --> 01:37:02,531
No, I'm sorry.
1729
01:37:02,531 --> 01:37:07,319
Well, so you've been
with two guys in your life. Big deal.
1730
01:37:08,821 --> 01:37:11,657
More like two times 10.
1731
01:37:11,657 --> 01:37:17,162
Right.
Like you've had sex with 20 guys. Yuck.
1732
01:37:18,664 --> 01:37:20,165
Gross.
1733
01:37:23,169 --> 01:37:25,671
Well, all right.
I may not have been your first,
1734
01:37:25,671 --> 01:37:29,174
but maybe I'll be your last.
1735
01:37:29,175 --> 01:37:31,677
Why? Are you gonna
rape and kill me?
1736
01:37:31,677 --> 01:37:33,679
No, but I'm gonna kiss you.
1737
01:37:35,147 --> 01:37:38,150
♪ With every beat
1738
01:37:38,651 --> 01:37:43,489
♪ Of my heart
1739
01:37:44,490 --> 01:37:45,491
♪ You're once
1740
01:37:45,491 --> 01:37:46,992
Come with me for a second.
1741
01:37:46,993 --> 01:37:48,444
♪ Twice
1742
01:37:49,996 --> 01:37:53,582
♪ Three times a lady
1743
01:37:54,083 --> 01:37:59,088
So, how does dinner in Milan
and breakfast in Paris sound?
1744
01:37:59,088 --> 01:38:00,589
Starchy.
1745
01:38:00,589 --> 01:38:02,591
I've got to do
a little traveling for the foundation,
1746
01:38:02,591 --> 01:38:04,092
and I'd love it
if you came with me.
1747
01:38:05,594 --> 01:38:07,095
Seriously?
Mmm-hmm.
1748
01:38:07,596 --> 01:38:08,597
For how long?
1749
01:38:09,098 --> 01:38:10,349
Six months.
1750
01:38:10,349 --> 01:38:12,851
I know it sounds
like a long time, but you're in-between jobs
1751
01:38:12,852 --> 01:38:16,939
and your little
sculpture things can wait.
1752
01:38:16,939 --> 01:38:18,390
And if you think
about it,
1753
01:38:18,391 --> 01:38:19,892
the only thing
that's keeping you in Boston is me,
1754
01:38:19,892 --> 01:38:21,193
and I'm leaving.
1755
01:38:23,312 --> 01:38:24,813
It's time.
1756
01:38:27,283 --> 01:38:28,617
Excuse me.
1757
01:38:31,537 --> 01:38:32,788
Thank you.
1758
01:38:32,788 --> 01:38:39,461
♪ And I love you ♪
1759
01:38:43,165 --> 01:38:45,584
Join me.
1760
01:38:45,584 --> 01:38:47,002
Hi, everyone.
1761
01:38:47,003 --> 01:38:48,554
ALL: Hi.
1762
01:38:50,056 --> 01:38:52,975
When Daisy and Eddie
first got together,
1763
01:38:52,975 --> 01:38:56,511
I have to admit I was
a little bit nervous.
1764
01:38:56,512 --> 01:38:58,514
I could tell
that it was serious,
1765
01:38:58,514 --> 01:39:01,517
and I thought that
the closer she got to him,
1766
01:39:02,018 --> 01:39:04,520
the further away
she'd get from me,
1767
01:39:04,854 --> 01:39:07,323
but that didn't happen.
1768
01:39:09,191 --> 01:39:11,693
Not only do I
see more of Daisy,
1769
01:39:11,694 --> 01:39:14,947
I see a happier,
even better Daisy.
1770
01:39:19,618 --> 01:39:21,620
It's like with Eddie she's
1771
01:39:25,624 --> 01:39:26,625
completely herself.
1772
01:39:44,026 --> 01:39:46,528
When you're a big sister,
it's your job
1773
01:39:46,529 --> 01:39:48,781
to teach your
little sister everything.
1774
01:39:50,066 --> 01:39:52,735
How to ride a bike,
1775
01:39:52,735 --> 01:39:54,536
how to lie to your parents.
1776
01:39:55,404 --> 01:39:56,538
How to kiss.
1777
01:39:56,539 --> 01:39:58,240
Not with tongue.
Settle down, Uncle Charlie.
1778
01:40:01,827 --> 01:40:04,329
But I never thought
1779
01:40:06,332 --> 01:40:09,835
about what my little sister
could teach me until right now.
1780
01:40:10,753 --> 01:40:13,806
So, I want to
thank you, Daisy.
1781
01:40:13,806 --> 01:40:16,809
Thank you for teaching me
1782
01:40:18,811 --> 01:40:22,815
that being in love
means being yourself.
1783
01:40:27,319 --> 01:40:29,070
To Daisy and Eddie!
1784
01:40:35,161 --> 01:40:36,662
You were great.
Can we talk?
1785
01:40:36,662 --> 01:40:38,664
Yeah. Absolutely.
1786
01:40:42,001 --> 01:40:43,502
ALL:
♪ That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh
1787
01:40:43,502 --> 01:40:45,787
♪ I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh
1788
01:40:45,788 --> 01:40:47,790
♪ That's the way,
uh-huh, uh-huh
1789
01:40:47,790 --> 01:40:50,125
♪ I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh
1790
01:40:50,126 --> 01:40:51,627
♪ That's the way,
uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
1791
01:40:52,128 --> 01:40:53,129
Oh, shit.
1792
01:40:54,797 --> 01:40:57,299
What's going on?
Are you okay?
1793
01:41:00,302 --> 01:41:04,306
Jake, there
actually is something here in Boston
1794
01:41:04,306 --> 01:41:06,308
that's really
important to me.
1795
01:41:06,308 --> 01:41:10,312
And as much as I want
to travel the world,
1796
01:41:10,312 --> 01:41:12,814
I'm not sure I want
to do it with you.
1797
01:41:12,815 --> 01:41:16,318
Which is insane, I know,
because you're perfect.
1798
01:41:17,319 --> 01:41:19,321
But you're not perfect for me,
1799
01:41:19,321 --> 01:41:22,824
and I don't think
I'm perfect for you.
1800
01:41:23,792 --> 01:41:26,294
I'm so sorry, Jake.
1801
01:41:26,295 --> 01:41:29,298
If I had been honest
with myself earlier,
1802
01:41:29,298 --> 01:41:31,300
or ever,
1803
01:41:31,300 --> 01:41:33,302
I wouldn't have put
you through all this.
1804
01:41:33,302 --> 01:41:37,806
Yeah, well,
that would have been preferable.
1805
01:41:37,806 --> 01:41:40,809
Right. I don't think
I'm gonna stick around for the cake. Excuse me.
1806
01:41:41,810 --> 01:41:43,812
It's really good.
1807
01:41:58,827 --> 01:42:00,195
Okay.
1808
01:42:05,584 --> 01:42:07,919
Where's...
Where's Jake going?
1809
01:42:07,920 --> 01:42:08,870
Sir, champagne?
1810
01:42:09,371 --> 01:42:10,255
ALLY: He's leaving.
1811
01:42:10,256 --> 01:42:13,759
What? In the middle
of the reception? Why?
1812
01:42:13,759 --> 01:42:16,261
Because I never should have
brought him here in the first place.
1813
01:42:17,179 --> 01:42:19,965
You're gonna let him go?
1814
01:42:20,299 --> 01:42:23,051
Oh, Ally, I...
I don't understand you.
1815
01:42:23,052 --> 01:42:26,055
Ally, why?
Why are you doing this?
1816
01:42:26,055 --> 01:42:28,724
Honey, you were
finally happy.
1817
01:42:28,724 --> 01:42:32,194
No! You were finally happy.
1818
01:42:32,194 --> 01:42:34,362
I don't wanna
marry Jake Adams.
1819
01:42:34,363 --> 01:42:36,231
That's not who I am.
Oh, my...
1820
01:42:36,232 --> 01:42:39,235
I'm a jobless whore
who's slept with 20 guys,
1821
01:42:39,735 --> 01:42:44,156
and I want to be with somebody
who appreciates that about me.
1822
01:42:44,156 --> 01:42:47,626
You may not
understand me, Mom, but you don't have to.
1823
01:42:47,626 --> 01:42:49,377
All you have to do
is love me.
1824
01:42:51,880 --> 01:42:55,884
I know that I'm not perfect,
but that's why you have Daisy.
1825
01:42:55,884 --> 01:42:58,386
My dress is too tight
because I'm four months pregnant.
1826
01:43:01,223 --> 01:43:02,557
What?
1827
01:43:02,558 --> 01:43:04,059
What?
1828
01:43:04,059 --> 01:43:05,060
Oh!
1829
01:43:07,563 --> 01:43:08,597
You're pregnant?
1830
01:43:08,597 --> 01:43:11,066
Yes. Now get out of here.
1831
01:43:11,066 --> 01:43:13,068
Thank you.
1832
01:43:13,068 --> 01:43:14,069
Surprise!
1833
01:43:14,570 --> 01:43:18,240
I'm gonna be a grandmother.
I'm gonna be a grandmother.
1834
01:43:23,078 --> 01:43:24,529
All the drinks are
sitting here on your tray.
1835
01:43:25,030 --> 01:43:26,531
What is the matter with you?
Is this too difficult?
1836
01:43:26,532 --> 01:43:28,033
Kevin,
where's that list you had of all the other weddings
1837
01:43:28,033 --> 01:43:29,534
going on in the city today?
It's right here.
1838
01:43:29,535 --> 01:43:30,586
Okay, thank you.
1839
01:43:40,850 --> 01:43:44,353
Goddamn. Damn it!
1840
01:44:02,288 --> 01:44:03,622
Hi.
1841
01:44:03,623 --> 01:44:04,740
♪ Every time I think of you
1842
01:44:04,741 --> 01:44:08,995
♪ I feel shot right through
with a bolt of blue
1843
01:44:08,995 --> 01:44:13,466
♪ It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
1844
01:44:13,466 --> 01:44:15,301
♪ Living a life
that I can't leave behind
1845
01:44:17,971 --> 01:44:21,257
♪ But there's no sense
in telling me
1846
01:44:21,257 --> 01:44:23,259
♪ The wisdom of the fool
won't set you free
1847
01:44:25,145 --> 01:44:27,147
♪ But that's the way
that it goes
1848
01:44:27,147 --> 01:44:29,482
♪ And it's what nobody knows
1849
01:44:29,482 --> 01:44:33,819
♪ Well, every day
my confusion grows
1850
01:44:33,820 --> 01:44:37,406
♪ Every time I see you falling
1851
01:44:37,407 --> 01:44:41,411
♪ I get down on my knees
and pray
1852
01:44:41,411 --> 01:44:45,782
♪ I'm waiting for
that final moment
1853
01:44:46,199 --> 01:44:47,200
Colin!
1854
01:44:58,261 --> 01:45:02,265
♪ I feel fine and I feel good
1855
01:45:02,265 --> 01:45:05,268
♪ I feel like I never should
1856
01:45:05,268 --> 01:45:09,138
♪ Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say
1857
01:45:09,139 --> 01:45:14,144
♪ Why can't we be ourselves
like we were yesterday?
1858
01:45:14,144 --> 01:45:17,947
♪ Every time I see you falling
1859
01:45:17,947 --> 01:45:21,951
♪ I get down on my knees
and pray
1860
01:45:21,951 --> 01:45:26,121
♪ I'm waiting for
that final moment
1861
01:45:26,122 --> 01:45:29,625
♪ You say the words
that I can't say ♪
1862
01:45:35,548 --> 01:45:37,383
Oh, come on!
1863
01:45:38,835 --> 01:45:42,839
Blessed be this union
and may it bear fruit.
1864
01:46:09,115 --> 01:46:11,834
Colin! Colin!
1865
01:46:21,211 --> 01:46:23,096
Blue car, keys are in it.
1866
01:46:46,870 --> 01:46:48,655
MAN: Get the fuck
out of the road!
1867
01:46:48,655 --> 01:46:50,073
Hey, watch it, lady.
1868
01:46:50,573 --> 01:46:52,458
Shut up, you asshole!
1869
01:46:55,161 --> 01:46:57,163
Sorry! I'm sorry!
1870
01:46:57,664 --> 01:46:59,165
I'm sorry!
1871
01:47:13,563 --> 01:47:14,513
Thank you.
1872
01:47:15,014 --> 01:47:17,816
You can help yourself
to some pepperoni.
1873
01:47:23,940 --> 01:47:25,107
Miss, your name?
1874
01:47:27,443 --> 01:47:28,410
Uh...
1875
01:47:29,412 --> 01:47:30,413
I...
1876
01:47:35,618 --> 01:47:38,954
I'm... I'm sorry.
1877
01:47:38,955 --> 01:47:41,007
COLIN: Hi, everyone.
Hope you're all having a good time tonight.
1878
01:47:41,007 --> 01:47:42,675
I know we are.
1879
01:47:42,675 --> 01:47:45,961
This next song
is a local band. Hope you enjoy it.
1880
01:47:52,769 --> 01:47:54,771
♪ I don't mind you
coming here
1881
01:47:56,356 --> 01:47:58,358
♪ And wasting all my time
1882
01:47:59,893 --> 01:48:02,682
♪ 'Cause when you're
standing oh, so near
1883
01:48:03,984 --> 01:48:06,269
♪ I kind of lose my mind
1884
01:48:06,269 --> 01:48:07,270
This is bullshit.
1885
01:48:07,771 --> 01:48:10,273
Why didn't I just wait for him
at his apartment?
1886
01:48:11,191 --> 01:48:14,077
♪ And wasting all my time
1887
01:48:16,529 --> 01:48:17,746
Fuck!
1888
01:48:18,248 --> 01:48:19,249
Fuck!
1889
01:48:19,749 --> 01:48:20,750
Fuck!
Fuck!
1890
01:48:22,202 --> 01:48:25,955
♪ I don't mind you hanging out
1891
01:48:25,956 --> 01:48:27,874
♪ And talking in your sleep
1892
01:48:29,676 --> 01:48:33,129
♪ It doesn't matter
where you've been
1893
01:48:33,129 --> 01:48:36,015
♪ As long as it was deep
Yeah
1894
01:48:37,017 --> 01:48:40,520
♪ Always need to wear it well
1895
01:48:40,520 --> 01:48:42,772
♪ You look so fancy,
I can tell
1896
01:48:44,774 --> 01:48:46,609
♪ I don't mind you hanging out
1897
01:48:48,061 --> 01:48:50,029
♪ And talking in your sleep
1898
01:48:52,032 --> 01:48:55,785
♪ I guess you're
just what I needed
1899
01:48:55,785 --> 01:48:58,070
♪ I needed someone to feed
1900
01:48:58,071 --> 01:48:59,405
♪ Someone to...
1901
01:48:59,906 --> 01:49:01,824
♪ I need to talk to you
1902
01:49:02,709 --> 01:49:04,210
♪ Right now
1903
01:49:04,210 --> 01:49:05,828
♪ I needed someone
to feed ♪
1904
01:49:09,215 --> 01:49:11,467
Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.
1905
01:49:13,470 --> 01:49:15,839
Okay, everybody,
we're just gonna take a quick break.
1906
01:49:15,839 --> 01:49:18,141
Why don't we get
those toasts started?
1907
01:49:18,141 --> 01:49:21,260
So, papa bear,
come on up here.
1908
01:49:27,484 --> 01:49:29,986
MAN: Hello, everyone,
and thank you all for coming out tonight...
1909
01:49:30,487 --> 01:49:34,491
Fuckity fuck! Fuckity fuck! Fuckity fuck!
1910
01:49:36,993 --> 01:49:38,995
What are you
doing here, Ally?
1911
01:49:38,995 --> 01:49:40,496
I have a speech that
I wanna make to you,
1912
01:49:40,997 --> 01:49:42,999
but I was afraid that
I was gonna forget it.
1913
01:49:42,999 --> 01:49:47,503
So, I figured it would be
easier to drive, bike,
1914
01:49:47,504 --> 01:49:52,008
and run across town
in my high heels so I could tell you right now.
1915
01:49:55,011 --> 01:49:56,512
What's the speech?
1916
01:50:00,016 --> 01:50:03,602
Well, the gist of it was,
1917
01:50:04,604 --> 01:50:05,888
I'm sorry.
1918
01:50:07,307 --> 01:50:08,308
That's it?
1919
01:50:08,808 --> 01:50:10,025
No, wait, there's more.
1920
01:50:10,360 --> 01:50:11,361
I, um...
1921
01:50:13,863 --> 01:50:15,865
I'm happiest when
I'm being myself,
1922
01:50:15,865 --> 01:50:18,367
and I'm myself
when I'm with you.
1923
01:50:18,368 --> 01:50:20,703
That was it.
1924
01:50:21,204 --> 01:50:24,073
I guess I was just so afraid
that you were another asshole
1925
01:50:24,074 --> 01:50:27,877
that I became
the biggest asshole of all.
1926
01:50:27,877 --> 01:50:30,379
You weren't an asshole.
I was an asshole.
1927
01:50:30,380 --> 01:50:33,383
I should have given
you Jake's number, I just...
1928
01:50:34,884 --> 01:50:36,385
I didn't think
I could compete with that.
1929
01:50:38,888 --> 01:50:41,390
There's no contest.
1930
01:50:41,391 --> 01:50:44,394
You're the most
decent guy I've ever met.
1931
01:50:56,406 --> 01:50:58,908
I think I love you, 21.
1932
01:51:01,694 --> 01:51:03,195
I love you, too.
1933
01:51:05,198 --> 01:51:07,033
Three hundred and...
No!
1934
01:51:50,243 --> 01:51:53,746
JAY: Hey, Kelli,
Kelli with an "I." What's up?
1935
01:51:53,746 --> 01:51:56,248
It's Jay from
Club Med Turkoise.
1936
01:51:56,249 --> 01:51:58,251
I got a weird message
from your assistant,
1937
01:51:58,751 --> 01:52:01,754
and I just wanted
to let you know, we never had sex.
1938
01:52:01,754 --> 01:52:05,758
Uh, you did this
awkward striptease involving maracas,
1939
01:52:05,758 --> 01:52:08,510
and then gave me
a shitty hand job.
1940
01:52:08,895 --> 01:52:12,398
You claimed it was something
you like to do called "dry style,"
1941
01:52:12,398 --> 01:52:15,901
vomited in my suitcase,
and then you passed out in the shower.
1942
01:52:15,902 --> 01:52:17,904
So, yeah,
we never slept together.
1943
01:52:22,775 --> 01:52:26,779
You're number 20!
I'm still at 20!
1944
01:52:26,779 --> 01:52:31,333
I can't believe it!
You are number 20!
1945
01:52:31,835 --> 01:52:33,336
Yes!
1946
01:52:35,839 --> 01:52:39,843
♪ It will outlast everything
You think is set is stone
1947
01:52:39,843 --> 01:52:41,845
♪ It goes on and on
and on and on
1948
01:52:41,845 --> 01:52:43,847
♪ On and on and on and on
1949
01:52:43,847 --> 01:52:47,851
♪ Buzzing like neon lights
1950
01:52:47,851 --> 01:52:49,853
♪ Can you feel my love?
1951
01:52:49,853 --> 01:52:53,857
♪ Loud and clear
Pulls you near
1952
01:52:53,857 --> 01:52:57,360
♪ Can you feel my love?
1953
01:52:57,360 --> 01:53:01,864
♪ We got all the memories
So much more we can see
1954
01:53:01,865 --> 01:53:05,368
♪ Better than a first kiss
Snow falling at Christmas
1955
01:53:05,368 --> 01:53:09,872
♪ Like sleeping in on Sunday
Laughter we never faked
1956
01:53:09,873 --> 01:53:13,877
♪ Bob Marley in summer
One love for each other
1957
01:53:13,877 --> 01:53:14,878
♪ Oh, it feels like...
1958
01:53:15,378 --> 01:53:18,381
♪ Fireflies
Day and night
1959
01:53:18,381 --> 01:53:20,883
♪ Can you feel my love?
1960
01:53:22,886 --> 01:53:26,890
♪ Everyone is looking
for a special connection
1961
01:53:26,890 --> 01:53:31,394
♪ But it's like
your compass points a million directions
1962
01:53:31,394 --> 01:53:35,398
♪ Do you need me to buy you
a telescope so you can see
1963
01:53:35,398 --> 01:53:39,402
♪ How good this could be
1964
01:53:39,402 --> 01:53:43,406
♪ Buzzing like neon lights
1965
01:53:43,406 --> 01:53:45,408
♪ Can you feel my love?
1966
01:53:45,408 --> 01:53:49,412
♪ Loud and clear
Pulls you near
1967
01:53:49,412 --> 01:53:52,415
♪ Can you feel my love?
1968
01:53:52,415 --> 01:53:56,919
♪ We got all the memories
So much more we can see
1969
01:53:56,920 --> 01:54:00,423
♪ Better than a first kiss
Snow falling at Christmas
1970
01:54:00,924 --> 01:54:04,844
♪ Like sleeping in on Sunday
Laughter we never faked
1971
01:54:04,844 --> 01:54:09,348
♪ Bob Marley in summer
One love for each other
1972
01:54:09,349 --> 01:54:10,350
♪ Oh, it feels like...
1973
01:54:13,353 --> 01:54:15,855
♪ One love for each other ♪
1974
01:57:11,864 --> 01:57:12,865
English - US - Line 21