WEBVTT FILE
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♪ Light as a feather
Stiff as a board
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♪ I'm-a elevate myself
on my own accord
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♪ Ain't nobody's business
Who's life is this?
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♪ You question my existence
I'm-a read you the list
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♪ I'll keep you on your toes
That's just how it goes
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♪ You can deal with the lows
Just keep dodging the blows
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♪ So I'm-a do me
Who else do I be?
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♪ 'Cause I create
my own destiny
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♪ I'm-a take back the world
Yo, you got this, girl
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♪ I'm steppin' up my game
I'll keep repeating the same
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♪ Be on my hustle
every minute of the day
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♪ It was mine
for the taking anyways
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♪ I'm-a take back the world ♪
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How come you always look
so great in the morning?
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Do I? Aw.
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Got to go, babe.
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Oh! I made
tempeh sausage.
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Hey, so, I was thinking
that maybe you'd want to be my date
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to my sister's wedding.
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There's
a vegetarian alternative. I already checked.
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Are your parents
going to be there?
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At my sister's wedding?
I think so.
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I don't know. It just
feels a little serious.
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Oh.
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I'm sorry, it just...
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It felt kind of
serious last night
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when you were
doing me from behind,
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but I couldn't
see your face, so...
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You know, if you ever want
to just hook up, you can call me.
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Oh, thank you, Rick.
That's very generous of you.
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Yeah.
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See you around.
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Keep it green.
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♪ I roll with the punches
Take 'em as they come
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♪ There's some disappointment
But what's the point
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WOMAN: Colin, hurry up.
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♪ Take a break for a sec
Prepare for what's coming next
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♪ I'm-a take back the world
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DAISY:Ally, I could have told you
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it wasn't going to
work out with Rick two months ago.
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Why?
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You love meat,
you hate cyclists.
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I do love meat.
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And to be honest,
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I was always a little
worried about the way
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he kept wanting to
do it doggy style.
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Some people like that,
you know.
48
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No, nobody likes it.
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Even the dogs are just waiting
for it to be over.
50
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How many relationships
do I have to have before I meet the right guy?
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Evidently a lot.
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Hi. Hi, I'm the bride.
I'm Daisy. If you could just...
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♪ I'm-a take back the world
Yo, you got this, girl
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♪ I'm steppin' up my game
I'll keep repeating the same
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♪ Be on my hustle
every minute of the day
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♪ Never let it get away
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♪ I'm staying motivated
Keep it uncomplicated
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♪ Nothing in between
me and my dream
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♪ Be on my hustle
every minute of the day
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♪ It was mine
for the taking anyways
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♪ I'm-a take back the world ♪
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Hi.
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Hi, guys.
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Hi.
Hi.
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Right now.
Thinking or smelling?
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Ooh, no doubt smelling.
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Oh, he's
obviously thinking.
68
00:05:13.980 --> 00:05:15.931
Whatever she's saying
is thought-provoking.
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That would be true
if she's talking about what his finger smells like.
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Ally.
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Hi.
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Jet Li is not
related to Bruce Lee.
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Lee is a very common
Chinese last name.
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They both know kung fu,
but that's the...
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Keep your coat on.
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Okay, hold...
I got to call you back.
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Sweetheart,
we have to let you go.
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I'm sorry,
but we had to make some painful cuts.
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Who else
is getting fired?
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Well, for now,
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just you.
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Oy!
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Hi, Mom,
can I call you right back? I'm in a meeting. Okay.
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Mmm.
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Not necessary.
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No.
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Oh.
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10.5? Holy shit!
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I'm sorry.
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It just says here,
the average number of lovers
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women have in
their lifetime is 10.5.
92
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Yeah, that seems very high.
93
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High? No, that's low!
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10.5 is low!
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Whatever you say.
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Valerio!
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Oh! Finally!
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Hi, Mom.
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Ow.
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Oh, sorry.
101
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Sorry, the train was late.
You look great.
102
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I'm growing out my bangs.
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Mmm.
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Oh, where is Rick?
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Rick's on a business trip,
for his business.
106
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Oh, nuts!
I was looking forward to finally meeting him.
107
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At least this one
doesn't make balloon animals.
108
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Why aren't you wearing
the dress I bought you?
109
00:09:03.910 --> 00:09:06.212
This is
the dress you bought me.
110
00:09:06.212 --> 00:09:08.464
What? It looked very different
on the mannequin.
111
00:09:09.916 --> 00:09:10.917
Is Daisy upstairs?
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Yes, she is.
She is a wreck!
113
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Okay. I'm gonna
go check on her.
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Please do.
115
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Oh, your cousin
Beau is here.
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Step-cousin.
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He's a step-cousin.
We're not even really related.
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Beau.
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Hi.
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Oh, thank God
you're here.
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Mom has been such a bitch
ever since Eddie's parents got here.
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She just cannot believe
that her marriage ended before theirs did.
123
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Well, Dad should
be here soon,
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so she'll have someone else
to focus her hatred on.
125
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Um, Dad's not coming.
She wouldn't let me invite him here.
126
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Are you inviting
him to the wedding?
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I don't know.
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Oh.
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Hey, what was
Creepy Puppet Guy's actual name?
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You mean the guy
who lived next door who was obsessed with me?
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Gerry Perry.
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00:10:00.099 --> 00:10:02.101
Gerry Perry! Thank you.
133
00:10:05.521 --> 00:10:06.939
What are you writing?
134
00:10:08.441 --> 00:10:10.109
Nothing,
just some notes for my toast.
135
00:10:10.109 --> 00:10:11.477
Is it gonna rhyme?
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That depends.
What rhymes with "orgy"?
137
00:10:13.729 --> 00:10:15.864
You just keep it
under three minutes. Ready?
138
00:10:16.232 --> 00:10:17.233
You look amazing.
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Thank you.
140
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You go ahead.
I'll be down in a couple of minutes.
141
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Okay.
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00:10:23.823 --> 00:10:25.658
Eight, nine, 10, 11,
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12, 13, 14, 15,
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16, 17, 18, 19.
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Holy shit. 19?
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May I have your attention,
please?
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Oh, yoo-hoo!
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Can I have your attention,
please? I want to thank you all,
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each and every one...
Huh.
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00:10:57.657 --> 00:10:58.658
Cute.
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00:11:03.079 --> 00:11:04.580
Beau.
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00:11:07.083 --> 00:11:09.919
Careful.
He can be a little rough on the nipples.
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00:11:09.919 --> 00:11:12.371
...to celebrate
my dream come true,
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the engagement of
Daisy and Eddie.
155
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Ooh.
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As most of you know,
we are a family
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00:11:18.461 --> 00:11:20.463
that likes to
toast one another.
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So, to start the ball rolling,
Daisy's big sister... Ally?
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00:11:25.968 --> 00:11:26.969
Ally.
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00:11:31.223 --> 00:11:32.524
ALLY: Hello.
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00:11:33.359 --> 00:11:34.360
Hello.
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00:11:44.787 --> 00:11:48.290
When Daisy first told me
that she was dating Eddie,
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I couldn't believe it.
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GUESTS: Aw!
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I said, "Eddie Vogel?
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"The schmuck you went out with
in high school?
167
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"He was the biggest douche-bag
of them all."
168
00:12:00.970 --> 00:12:03.255
Even worse than Baby Hands.
You guys remember him?
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00:12:04.673 --> 00:12:06.141
Baby Hands.
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00:12:08.144 --> 00:12:10.262
You know how Eddie
broke up with her?
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He started dating
her best friend,
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00:12:12.264 --> 00:12:13.898
who's here tonight,
by the way.
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00:12:13.899 --> 00:12:15.734
Sheila, stand up.
174
00:12:20.906 --> 00:12:22.908
But...
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00:12:22.908 --> 00:12:25.410
But
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00:12:25.911 --> 00:12:29.915
when Eddie saw Daisy
at their high school reunion,
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he knew what a big
mistake he had made.
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No offense, Sheila.
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00:12:34.420 --> 00:12:36.455
And now, Eddie's amazing.
180
00:12:36.455 --> 00:12:38.457
You wouldn't even know
he's the same guy.
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Except he looks
exactly the same.
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God! I wish I went
to my high school reunion,
183
00:12:47.800 --> 00:12:50.552
but I was
growing out my bangs.
184
00:12:50.553 --> 00:12:53.772
I'm always
growing out my bangs. Don't get bangs.
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00:12:57.860 --> 00:13:00.863
Well, to Daisy and Eddie!
186
00:13:03.315 --> 00:13:04.983
It's okay. It's okay.
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SHEILA: Okay,
to Daisy and Eddie and the end of your life.
188
00:13:15.995 --> 00:13:16.996
To Daisy and Eddie.
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00:13:16.996 --> 00:13:19.381
ALL: To Daisy and Eddie.
To me.
190
00:13:22.251 --> 00:13:23.969
Okay, it's party game time!
191
00:13:23.969 --> 00:13:25.470
Oh, a game? Really?
192
00:13:25.471 --> 00:13:26.755
Absolutely!
193
00:13:26.755 --> 00:13:30.759
But which one?
God, what to play? What to play?
194
00:13:30.759 --> 00:13:33.344
Ooh! Let's write down
the number of people we slept with.
195
00:13:33.345 --> 00:13:34.729
Great idea, Katie.
What?
196
00:13:34.730 --> 00:13:38.650
Okay, we just need paper
and more drinks. Be right back.
197
00:13:43.989 --> 00:13:46.992
Of all the gin joints
in all the towns.
198
00:13:46.992 --> 00:13:50.996
Of all the cliches
in all the world.
199
00:13:50.996 --> 00:13:54.866
Wow. I didn't know you were
gonna take getting fired so hard.
200
00:13:54.867 --> 00:13:58.871
I don't have to laugh
at your jokes anymore because you're not my boss.
201
00:13:58.871 --> 00:14:01.874
Let me buy you these drinks.
I feel really bad about today.
202
00:14:02.875 --> 00:14:03.709
Really?
203
00:14:04.126 --> 00:14:06.128
Thanks. I can't
afford them anyway.
204
00:14:06.128 --> 00:14:07.512
Can I be honest
with you?
205
00:14:07.963 --> 00:14:10.298
You never seemed
to like marketing anyhow.
206
00:14:10.299 --> 00:14:11.266
I liked it.
207
00:14:11.267 --> 00:14:12.635
Yeah, but you
didn't love it.
208
00:14:13.135 --> 00:14:14.636
I guess I did you a favor.
209
00:14:15.137 --> 00:14:19.391
Now you can go get
a job that you love with a boss who you, uh, like.
210
00:14:20.276 --> 00:14:21.777
I like you.
211
00:14:21.777 --> 00:14:24.112
Really? How much?
212
00:14:27.399 --> 00:14:28.400
She bought the whole bottle,
didn't she?
213
00:14:31.036 --> 00:14:33.455
ALLY: Okay, so just write down
the number of guys you've slept with
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00:14:33.455 --> 00:14:34.956
and put it in this glass,
215
00:14:34.957 --> 00:14:38.377
and then we'll
pick out the number and guess who it belongs to.
216
00:14:38.377 --> 00:14:39.878
Daisy, you go first.
217
00:14:39.879 --> 00:14:40.996
Yeah.
218
00:14:42.298 --> 00:14:43.299
Four.
219
00:14:43.716 --> 00:14:44.883
Oh! That's me.
Yay!
220
00:14:45.384 --> 00:14:46.885
No, no, no, that's not
how you're supposed to play the game.
221
00:14:46.886 --> 00:14:48.837
We're supposed to guess.
222
00:14:48.837 --> 00:14:50.839
Who wasn't gonna guess Katie?
She married Matt when she was, like, 12.
223
00:14:51.340 --> 00:14:52.424
I'm surprised
you've had that many.
224
00:14:52.424 --> 00:14:53.425
Well...
225
00:14:53.926 --> 00:14:55.344
ALLY: Katie,
your turn, let's go.
226
00:14:56.845 --> 00:14:59.848
Eight. Eight... Daisy.
227
00:14:59.848 --> 00:15:02.851
Yes, and I am twice
the woman you are.
228
00:15:03.485 --> 00:15:04.936
Six.
229
00:15:05.437 --> 00:15:07.322
Jamie?
Yep, that's me.
230
00:15:07.323 --> 00:15:09.274
Wait a second,
you're a seven.
231
00:15:09.775 --> 00:15:10.992
I never had sex
with Lars.
232
00:15:10.993 --> 00:15:12.494
Yes, you did.
233
00:15:12.995 --> 00:15:15.030
No. He only stuck
it in just a little, so it doesn't count.
234
00:15:15.030 --> 00:15:16.414
How much was it in?
235
00:15:16.415 --> 00:15:18.200
This much.
236
00:15:18.200 --> 00:15:19.701
What is that?
That tells me nothing.
237
00:15:19.702 --> 00:15:21.420
I've no idea
how big Lars' penis is.
238
00:15:21.420 --> 00:15:23.255
I do. Counts.
239
00:15:23.622 --> 00:15:25.624
Okay. How much needs to go in
to be considered sex?
240
00:15:26.125 --> 00:15:27.509
Anything more
than the tip.
241
00:15:27.509 --> 00:15:29.844
Fine, I'm a seven.
I mean, eight.
242
00:15:30.296 --> 00:15:32.014
Shit! Nine!
Atta girl.
243
00:15:32.014 --> 00:15:33.181
Okay, Jamie, you go.
244
00:15:35.217 --> 00:15:36.718
Hmm.
245
00:15:36.719 --> 00:15:37.970
Thirteen.
246
00:15:37.970 --> 00:15:39.972
KATIE:Thirteen?
Who here is a 13?
247
00:15:40.439 --> 00:15:41.223
Me.
248
00:15:41.223 --> 00:15:42.857
Whore!
Trashy girl. Slut.
249
00:15:43.275 --> 00:15:44.776
KATIE: Sheila!
JAMIE: Slut!
250
00:15:45.277 --> 00:15:46.778
Slutty whore!
251
00:15:46.779 --> 00:15:48.363
What is the big deal?
252
00:15:48.364 --> 00:15:51.617
That is 13 different
penises in one vagina.
253
00:15:51.617 --> 00:15:54.453
SHEILA: It's not like
they were all in there at the same time.
254
00:15:54.453 --> 00:15:57.873
You know what?
I'm done with this. Ally, you go.
255
00:15:57.873 --> 00:15:59.875
Okay.
256
00:16:02.461 --> 00:16:04.463
Go, go,
go, go.
257
00:16:10.052 --> 00:16:11.053
Oh!
258
00:16:11.053 --> 00:16:13.422
Wow, look at that, nine.
259
00:16:13.422 --> 00:16:15.424
I drew myself. Game over.
260
00:16:15.424 --> 00:16:17.392
Wait. A one.
Is this yours?
261
00:16:18.394 --> 00:16:20.596
Uh...
Oh, my God.
262
00:16:20.596 --> 00:16:22.064
You're at 91.
263
00:16:22.064 --> 00:16:24.566
No! I'm at nine!
264
00:16:24.566 --> 00:16:26.568
You're at 19.
265
00:16:26.568 --> 00:16:27.735
KATIE: Nineteen!
266
00:16:31.190 --> 00:16:32.574
Hello, friend.
267
00:16:32.574 --> 00:16:34.525
Fine, I admit it. I'm at 19,
268
00:16:35.027 --> 00:16:37.529
almost twice the national
average. It's bad!
269
00:16:37.529 --> 00:16:41.032
And look at this, there's
even a whole article in Marie Claire about it.
270
00:16:41.500 --> 00:16:42.501
I thought that
playing this game
271
00:16:42.501 --> 00:16:44.336
would make me feel
better about my number,
272
00:16:44.336 --> 00:16:46.705
but now I think
the homeless lady on the train was right.
273
00:16:46.705 --> 00:16:47.706
It's high!
274
00:16:47.706 --> 00:16:49.841
Apparently in America,
96% of women
275
00:16:49.842 --> 00:16:53.846
who have been with
20 or more lovers can't find a husband.
276
00:16:53.846 --> 00:16:55.797
It actually says 20?
Mmm-hmm.
277
00:16:55.798 --> 00:16:57.049
Who cares?
Who did that study anyway?
278
00:16:57.049 --> 00:16:59.434
The scientists over there
at Marie Claire magazine?
279
00:16:59.435 --> 00:17:02.554
Hey, that magazine
taught me how to orgasm.
280
00:17:02.554 --> 00:17:05.356
Actually, that study
was conducted by Dr. Helen Fig,
281
00:17:05.724 --> 00:17:08.226
a postdoctoral fellow
at Harvard University.
282
00:17:08.227 --> 00:17:09.394
Shit!
283
00:17:09.395 --> 00:17:11.397
I see it in my practice
all the time.
284
00:17:11.397 --> 00:17:12.898
When you're too
sexually available,
285
00:17:12.898 --> 00:17:14.399
it messes with
your self-esteem.
286
00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:18.404
Next thing you know,
you're 45 with no self-respect, no husband,
287
00:17:18.704 --> 00:17:20.372
and no muscle tone
in your pelvic floor.
288
00:17:22.374 --> 00:17:24.743
Okay. Well, that is
not gonna happen to me.
289
00:17:24.743 --> 00:17:26.711
Harvard says that
20 is the limit.
290
00:17:26.712 --> 00:17:30.215
I'm at 19,
so that gives me one more chance.
291
00:17:31.717 --> 00:17:33.218
Okay.
292
00:17:33.218 --> 00:17:34.836
I'm gonna make a proclamation.
293
00:17:36.338 --> 00:17:38.340
Shut up! I'm proclamating.
294
00:17:39.842 --> 00:17:42.845
Okay.
I am not gonna sleep with one more guy
295
00:17:42.845 --> 00:17:45.480
until I am sure
he's the one.
296
00:17:45.481 --> 00:17:46.815
I may not have
control over much,
297
00:17:46.815 --> 00:17:50.235
but I do have control
over my pelvic floor.
298
00:17:50.235 --> 00:17:53.271
The next guy who vacations
at casa esperanza
299
00:17:53.772 --> 00:17:55.273
is going to be my husband.
300
00:17:55.774 --> 00:17:56.658
All right.
Yeah.
301
00:17:56.658 --> 00:18:00.161
To taking control
of my own destiny.
302
00:18:00.162 --> 00:18:02.664
ALL: To taking control!
303
00:18:07.786 --> 00:18:11.122
To better decision-making
and goal-following-through.
304
00:18:11.590 --> 00:18:14.926
To better
decision-making and goals!
305
00:18:14.927 --> 00:18:17.012
To 20!
306
00:18:17.012 --> 00:18:18.380
ALL: To 20!
307
00:19:00.672 --> 00:19:02.173
Oh, shit.
308
00:19:11.266 --> 00:19:14.269
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
309
00:19:18.607 --> 00:19:19.608
Hi.
310
00:19:20.108 --> 00:19:21.609
I slept with my ex-boss.
311
00:19:21.610 --> 00:19:22.410
Carol?
312
00:19:22.411 --> 00:19:24.780
No! The job
I just got fired from.
313
00:19:24.780 --> 00:19:26.281
You got fired?
314
00:19:26.281 --> 00:19:27.665
This is your fault.
315
00:19:27.666 --> 00:19:30.335
When I tried to get you
to leave the bar last night, you spit on me.
316
00:19:30.335 --> 00:19:31.669
But congratulations.
317
00:19:31.670 --> 00:19:34.172
You said 20 is your husband.
Now you're at 20.
318
00:19:34.173 --> 00:19:35.674
Shut up.
I have to admit
319
00:19:35.674 --> 00:19:38.126
that I just did not think
it was gonna happen this quickly,
320
00:19:38.126 --> 00:19:39.544
but I'm so excited.
321
00:19:39.545 --> 00:19:42.047
Hey, Eddie,
Ally's gonna get married.
322
00:19:42.548 --> 00:19:43.849
Great.
He's thrilled.
323
00:19:43.849 --> 00:19:46.768
I know you're
just being a bitch, but maybe he is my husband.
324
00:19:46.768 --> 00:19:50.138
Maybe it's fate. Now we've
got a great story to tell our grandkids.
325
00:19:52.975 --> 00:19:55.978
I don't know why I never
considered him before.
326
00:20:02.985 --> 00:20:04.786
He's not my husband.
327
00:20:10.409 --> 00:20:11.910
Morning.
Morning.
328
00:20:12.411 --> 00:20:13.211
Hey,
you're out of toilet paper.
329
00:20:13.212 --> 00:20:14.129
Okay.
330
00:20:14.630 --> 00:20:15.631
Oh, did you
make coffee?
331
00:20:15.631 --> 00:20:18.000
No. There's a Starbucks
on your way to the T.
332
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:21.003
Oh, that's okay.
Did you get the newspaper?
333
00:20:21.003 --> 00:20:22.004
No, no, I don't get that.
334
00:20:24.473 --> 00:20:27.092
Morning, 6-C.
That's not mine.
335
00:20:27.092 --> 00:20:30.095
Okay. I locked myself
out of my apartment.
336
00:20:30.095 --> 00:20:32.597
My keys and wallet,
everything, it's over there.
337
00:20:32.598 --> 00:20:33.482
Can I use your phone?
338
00:20:33.932 --> 00:20:36.234
Sure, of course,
let me just get that.
339
00:20:36.235 --> 00:20:37.603
Hey, Roger,
why don't we talk later?
340
00:20:37.603 --> 00:20:40.522
Because I think 6-A
really needs my help.
341
00:20:40.522 --> 00:20:42.023
Colin.
Hi.
342
00:20:42.241 --> 00:20:43.825
Nice to meet you.
Yeah.
343
00:20:47.446 --> 00:20:48.747
So,
344
00:20:50.165 --> 00:20:51.499
how about
some dinner tonight?
345
00:20:53.001 --> 00:20:54.869
Tonight, tonight?
Mmm-hmm.
346
00:20:55.370 --> 00:20:57.872
Oh, we have that
tenants' meeting tonight.
347
00:20:59.007 --> 00:21:01.509
Oh! That's right.
Tenants' meeting.
348
00:21:03.545 --> 00:21:06.764
Oh, we're trying to get
this very loud bird evicted.
349
00:21:07.266 --> 00:21:11.970
But why don't I call you later
and we'll figure out
350
00:21:11.970 --> 00:21:16.474
maybe another time
that we can get together.
351
00:21:16.475 --> 00:21:17.309
Okay.
352
00:21:27.035 --> 00:21:28.319
ALLY: Bye.
353
00:21:34.710 --> 00:21:37.212
Hi, I'm Roger.
354
00:21:37.212 --> 00:21:39.214
Hey, do you think the woman
coming out of your apartment
355
00:21:39.214 --> 00:21:41.716
could have helped you
with the "being locked out" problem?
356
00:21:44.636 --> 00:21:46.137
Okay.
357
00:21:46.138 --> 00:21:49.141
Uh, I had a little situation
that I needed to get out of,
358
00:21:49.141 --> 00:21:51.226
not unlike your
situation here, so I...
359
00:21:51.226 --> 00:21:53.228
Lied to her,
then lied to me?
360
00:21:53.228 --> 00:21:56.264
I look at it as trying
to avoid hurt feelings.
361
00:21:57.766 --> 00:21:58.566
Wow.
362
00:21:58.984 --> 00:22:00.485
This is pretty cool.
Where'd you get this?
363
00:22:00.485 --> 00:22:01.936
I made it.
364
00:22:02.938 --> 00:22:03.939
No shit.
365
00:22:03.939 --> 00:22:04.940
Shit.
366
00:22:04.940 --> 00:22:06.691
Listen, I don't want
to have anything to do
367
00:22:06.692 --> 00:22:09.578
with your crusade to sleep
with every woman in Boston, okay?
368
00:22:09.578 --> 00:22:11.246
They're kind of
like my sisters.
369
00:22:11.246 --> 00:22:13.498
Wow. I thought you'd
be cooler than this.
370
00:22:13.498 --> 00:22:15.333
I saw that toast
you made on YouTube.
371
00:22:15.334 --> 00:22:16.835
Seemed like you had
a good sense of humor.
372
00:22:16.835 --> 00:22:19.954
Those bitches put my toast up
on YouTube?
373
00:22:19.955 --> 00:22:21.456
How did you see it already?
374
00:22:21.456 --> 00:22:24.008
I got everybody
in the building on Google Alert.
375
00:22:24.009 --> 00:22:27.045
I come from a family of cops,
it's in my nature to dig up dirt.
376
00:22:27.045 --> 00:22:29.881
Guy in 4-D tried
to marry his dog.
377
00:22:29.881 --> 00:22:31.299
No! Bandit?
378
00:22:31.299 --> 00:22:32.800
Oh, yeah.
379
00:22:32.801 --> 00:22:37.305
All right, well, looks
like the coast is clear.
380
00:22:37.305 --> 00:22:39.307
Thank you. You're a peach.
381
00:22:39.307 --> 00:22:40.141
You're a pig.
382
00:22:46.365 --> 00:22:47.366
Mmm.
383
00:22:50.369 --> 00:22:51.953
This is good.
384
00:22:51.953 --> 00:22:55.539
Okay, okay, that's enough.
I think the idea is just to taste them.
385
00:22:56.041 --> 00:22:58.043
Why? Nobody's ever gonna
see me naked again.
386
00:22:58.043 --> 00:22:59.044
I might as well enjoy myself.
387
00:22:59.044 --> 00:23:02.547
Yeah, like you're
really gonna be celibate.
388
00:23:02.547 --> 00:23:05.550
I don't have a choice.
I said I was gonna stop at 20,
389
00:23:05.550 --> 00:23:09.053
and now, thanks to
that finger-smelling fuck, I'm at 20.
390
00:23:09.054 --> 00:23:11.056
Just promise me
you're not gonna put me at the singles' table
391
00:23:11.556 --> 00:23:13.891
with Sheila and her mom.
Please.
392
00:23:13.892 --> 00:23:16.394
Seating is
really complicated.
393
00:23:16.395 --> 00:23:17.896
Oh, my God.
394
00:23:19.898 --> 00:23:21.900
Wait.
395
00:23:21.900 --> 00:23:23.518
Does that guy
look familiar to you?
396
00:23:23.518 --> 00:23:24.902
No.
397
00:23:26.354 --> 00:23:27.855
Oh, shit!
398
00:23:27.856 --> 00:23:29.858
What?
399
00:23:29.858 --> 00:23:33.361
That's Disgusting Donald!
I dated him.
400
00:23:34.863 --> 00:23:35.864
Did I ever meet him?
401
00:23:35.864 --> 00:23:37.365
No! Nobody did.
402
00:23:39.367 --> 00:23:42.503
He's the reason
I learned to cook.
403
00:23:42.504 --> 00:23:46.508
We have
nothing to eat! Honey, let's go out tonight.
404
00:23:48.009 --> 00:23:52.013
I don't know. There's just
so many people out there.
405
00:23:52.013 --> 00:23:53.514
Come on. I want to try
406
00:23:53.515 --> 00:23:55.517
the new Korean
barbecue place everyone's talking about.
407
00:23:55.517 --> 00:23:58.019
I can make Korean barbecue.
Easy. What do we need?
408
00:23:58.019 --> 00:24:01.188
Uh, a table with
a grill built into it.
409
00:24:01.189 --> 00:24:05.193
That guy doesn't
look disgusting at all. He's actually kind of cute.
410
00:24:05.193 --> 00:24:06.694
I know, but I really
think it's him.
411
00:24:07.195 --> 00:24:09.564
All right,
well, go say hi and see.
412
00:24:14.786 --> 00:24:15.787
Mmm.
413
00:24:22.627 --> 00:24:24.128
Ally?
414
00:24:24.129 --> 00:24:25.296
Donald?
415
00:24:25.297 --> 00:24:26.298
Oh, my gosh.
416
00:24:26.298 --> 00:24:27.299
It is you.
Hi.
417
00:24:27.799 --> 00:24:32.086
Hi. I can't believe it.
I cannot believe it.
418
00:24:32.420 --> 00:24:33.921
Yeah, well...
419
00:24:36.424 --> 00:24:39.677
Oh, Ally,
please meet my fiancee, Cara.
420
00:24:39.678 --> 00:24:41.062
Hi.
This is Ally.
421
00:24:41.062 --> 00:24:42.012
Nice to meet you.
422
00:24:42.013 --> 00:24:43.097
You, too.
423
00:24:43.098 --> 00:24:47.569
Wow.
So, how did you guys meet?
424
00:24:48.937 --> 00:24:51.489
At a conference.
At a conference.
425
00:24:51.490 --> 00:24:53.492
Can you believe it?
She's a rocket scientist.
426
00:24:53.492 --> 00:24:55.243
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
427
00:24:55.243 --> 00:24:58.246
I'm actually just an engineer,
but he loves to say that.
428
00:24:58.246 --> 00:24:59.413
You know,
I'm not the typical...
429
00:24:59.414 --> 00:25:01.416
I get it.
430
00:25:02.200 --> 00:25:03.918
Ally and I are old friends.
431
00:25:05.871 --> 00:25:07.372
What are you doing here?
432
00:25:08.874 --> 00:25:11.877
Oh, I'm just tasting some cake
433
00:25:12.377 --> 00:25:14.796
for my wedding.
434
00:25:14.796 --> 00:25:16.597
Oh!
I'm marrying a scientist, too.
435
00:25:17.966 --> 00:25:20.768
Yeah, he doesn't
look smart either.
436
00:25:20.769 --> 00:25:22.270
I'm here with my sister
437
00:25:22.270 --> 00:25:25.606
because he's up
in the North Pole
438
00:25:25.607 --> 00:25:27.609
dealing with
the whole icecap situation.
439
00:25:28.610 --> 00:25:29.777
Oh.
Yeah.
440
00:25:29.778 --> 00:25:32.363
He's probably gonna fix it.
441
00:25:32.364 --> 00:25:34.366
I can't believe that he said
that we were just friends.
442
00:25:34.866 --> 00:25:35.867
Like I was the embarrassment!
443
00:25:36.284 --> 00:25:38.569
He had man boobs,
big hairy ones.
444
00:25:38.570 --> 00:25:40.071
God! I can't believe
it's the same guy.
445
00:25:40.071 --> 00:25:42.073
He looks so good now.
He even looks taller.
446
00:25:42.073 --> 00:25:43.574
A lot of men get
better with age.
447
00:25:43.575 --> 00:25:46.077
I mean, you said it yourself,
Eddie used to be a total douche.
448
00:25:46.077 --> 00:25:47.545
People change.
449
00:25:49.548 --> 00:25:50.999
You're right.
450
00:25:50.999 --> 00:25:52.250
Daisy, you're a genius.
451
00:25:52.250 --> 00:25:53.968
I don't have to be celibate
or go over 20.
452
00:25:54.386 --> 00:25:55.670
What do you mean?
453
00:25:55.670 --> 00:25:58.673
Donald can't be my only ex
who's gotten better with time.
454
00:25:58.673 --> 00:26:00.391
Okay.
455
00:26:01.092 --> 00:26:02.309
Love you.
456
00:26:14.105 --> 00:26:15.106
Right.
457
00:26:21.246 --> 00:26:22.914
Okay. Huh!
458
00:26:22.914 --> 00:26:24.665
Jake Adams' dad.
459
00:26:24.666 --> 00:26:25.783
Jake Adams' Facebook.
460
00:26:27.535 --> 00:26:28.953
Okay.
461
00:26:29.371 --> 00:26:30.672
Jake Adams III.
462
00:26:31.039 --> 00:26:32.790
No, Jake Adams IV.
463
00:26:33.174 --> 00:26:36.510
Oh, forget it. All right,
moving on, for now.
464
00:26:38.430 --> 00:26:40.515
What do we have next?
465
00:26:40.515 --> 00:26:42.517
Mike Miller.
466
00:26:43.518 --> 00:26:45.102
Eleven million results?
467
00:26:45.937 --> 00:26:47.438
Holy shit!
468
00:26:48.723 --> 00:26:52.226
From Cresskill, New Jersey.
469
00:26:52.727 --> 00:26:55.529
Eight million results!
What the fuck?
470
00:26:55.947 --> 00:26:57.949
Mike Miller from Cresskill,
New Jersey,
471
00:26:57.949 --> 00:26:59.784
obsessed with
Bruce Springsteen,
472
00:27:00.235 --> 00:27:02.620
big balls, tiny penis?
473
00:27:05.290 --> 00:27:07.875
What? No! God!
474
00:27:07.876 --> 00:27:09.627
Oh, God, stop it! No!
475
00:27:15.917 --> 00:27:16.918
AUTOMATED VOICE: Goodbye.
476
00:27:36.021 --> 00:27:37.522
Balls.
477
00:27:39.024 --> 00:27:41.326
♪ You know, I swing them left
and I swing them right ♪
478
00:27:41.660 --> 00:27:43.662
COLIN: That's not my fault.
479
00:27:46.498 --> 00:27:47.832
I told you not
to put it there.
480
00:27:49.951 --> 00:27:51.369
Under the bed.
481
00:27:52.370 --> 00:27:53.170
Hi.
482
00:27:53.588 --> 00:27:55.089
Morning, 6-C.
483
00:27:55.590 --> 00:27:57.708
Hey, um,
I see that you have company,
484
00:27:57.709 --> 00:28:00.712
but I just want to ask you
a really quick question.
485
00:28:00.712 --> 00:28:02.714
Remember how you said
you were good at digging up dirt?
486
00:28:02.714 --> 00:28:06.517
Do you think that
maybe I could pay you to find some people for me?
487
00:28:06.518 --> 00:28:08.019
Sweetheart,
if I'm gonna help you,
488
00:28:08.019 --> 00:28:09.970
you got to give me
more info than that.
489
00:28:09.971 --> 00:28:12.223
Just some guys
that I've dated.
490
00:28:12.724 --> 00:28:14.942
Oh, you have herpes.
That's not a fun call to make.
491
00:28:14.943 --> 00:28:16.444
No, I...
492
00:28:16.444 --> 00:28:17.945
I don't know. I just...
493
00:28:17.946 --> 00:28:21.449
I think that one of these guys
might be worth a second look.
494
00:28:31.242 --> 00:28:33.244
No. I refuse to be
a part of this type of crazy.
495
00:28:33.745 --> 00:28:34.746
I don't know why
these guys broke up with you,
496
00:28:35.246 --> 00:28:36.997
and I need to protect them.
497
00:28:36.998 --> 00:28:39.884
Wait. Why do you assume
they all broke up with me?
498
00:28:39.884 --> 00:28:40.885
Because you seem
like the type of girl
499
00:28:41.386 --> 00:28:42.920
who tries to make
a bad thing work.
500
00:28:43.421 --> 00:28:44.889
Some people
call that optimism.
501
00:28:44.889 --> 00:28:46.891
I call it crazy.
502
00:28:46.891 --> 00:28:49.393
I'm sorry I asked.
I knew you'd be a jerk.
503
00:28:49.394 --> 00:28:51.979
Don't be mad.
It doesn't mean I won't sleep with you.
504
00:28:51.980 --> 00:28:53.481
Ugh! Gross.
505
00:29:09.414 --> 00:29:12.917
Colin! Colin, open up! Colin!
506
00:29:13.918 --> 00:29:16.420
Colin, we got to go!
Mom fell in the shower.
507
00:29:16.421 --> 00:29:18.790
What?
Yeah, she fell in the shower!
508
00:29:18.790 --> 00:29:20.291
Hi.
509
00:29:20.291 --> 00:29:24.295
She's at the hospital.
She's all wet.
510
00:29:25.296 --> 00:29:26.797
We got to get out of here!
511
00:29:26.798 --> 00:29:29.300
They're drying
her off right now, as we speak.
512
00:29:29.300 --> 00:29:32.720
I'm so sorry.
You seem like a really awesome person.
513
00:29:33.221 --> 00:29:35.223
I'm sure he's gonna call you,
but we got to go!
514
00:29:35.223 --> 00:29:37.475
Come on! She's hurt!
515
00:29:41.362 --> 00:29:42.863
Very impressive.
516
00:29:42.864 --> 00:29:44.866
Hmm.
517
00:29:44.866 --> 00:29:48.569
You help me
track down my exes, I'll help you escape yours.
518
00:29:48.570 --> 00:29:51.072
What happened to
protecting your sisters?
519
00:29:51.072 --> 00:29:54.291
If those girls
can't see you coming, they deserve what they get.
520
00:29:54.292 --> 00:29:56.160
Wow. Jesus.
521
00:29:56.161 --> 00:29:58.913
This place really goes
on and on, doesn't it?
522
00:30:00.215 --> 00:30:02.717
And you can use
my apartment to hide in.
523
00:30:04.969 --> 00:30:06.470
Here you go.
Thank you.
524
00:30:06.471 --> 00:30:08.973
Thanks, Diana. Okay.
525
00:30:08.973 --> 00:30:10.975
So, here's all the info
I have on the guys.
526
00:30:11.476 --> 00:30:12.894
Names, most recent
phone numbers...
527
00:30:13.394 --> 00:30:15.262
Hey! Addresses.
528
00:30:15.763 --> 00:30:19.566
Find out who's alive,
single, and still on the East Coast, okay?
529
00:30:19.567 --> 00:30:22.152
I'll take a car or a train,
but not a plane.
530
00:30:22.153 --> 00:30:25.656
I prioritized the list,
so start at the top.
531
00:30:25.657 --> 00:30:28.159
Jake Adams. Is that
the one that got away?
532
00:30:28.159 --> 00:30:30.161
Well, something like that.
533
00:30:30.161 --> 00:30:31.662
His dad's name
is also Jake Adams
534
00:30:31.663 --> 00:30:33.164
and he owns,
like, half of Boston.
535
00:30:33.164 --> 00:30:35.082
So, he should be
pretty easy to find.
536
00:30:35.083 --> 00:30:36.784
The Jake Adams?
537
00:30:36.784 --> 00:30:37.785
Well, he may not be
hard to find,
538
00:30:37.785 --> 00:30:39.503
but I guarantee
he's gonna be hard to get to.
539
00:30:39.504 --> 00:30:41.873
You don't have
a phone number or address or anything like that?
540
00:30:41.873 --> 00:30:43.875
If I had that,
I wouldn't need you.
541
00:30:43.875 --> 00:30:47.378
I do know that Tom Piper
is on the fast track to becoming a senator.
542
00:30:47.378 --> 00:30:49.880
Oh, and move John Kimble
up to number three.
543
00:30:49.881 --> 00:30:50.882
He probably still
works at Starbucks,
544
00:30:50.882 --> 00:30:52.967
but he's the best sex
I've ever had.
545
00:30:52.967 --> 00:30:54.852
You haven't had sex with me.
546
00:30:54.853 --> 00:30:57.856
No, but I have had sex
with other overly confident struggling musicians.
547
00:30:57.856 --> 00:30:58.857
So, I'm good.
548
00:30:59.357 --> 00:31:00.858
What makes you
think I'm a musician?
549
00:31:00.859 --> 00:31:03.862
Guitar in your apartment,
you dress like a horny teenager,
550
00:31:03.862 --> 00:31:06.231
I paid for that sandwich.
Struggling musician.
551
00:31:06.231 --> 00:31:08.233
So, I don't get it.
Why go through all this trouble?
552
00:31:08.233 --> 00:31:09.033
Why not just find a new guy?
553
00:31:09.450 --> 00:31:11.318
No. No new guys.
554
00:31:11.786 --> 00:31:13.287
New is always better than old.
555
00:31:13.288 --> 00:31:14.789
Of course you'd say that.
556
00:31:14.789 --> 00:31:17.708
I bet the longest relationship
you've ever had is with that sandwich.
557
00:31:23.915 --> 00:31:28.052
♪ What's it like for you
to fall asleep with all your thoughts?
558
00:31:30.388 --> 00:31:34.642
♪ Do you wake up blue?
Do you just sleep it off? ♪
559
00:31:34.926 --> 00:31:36.761
That's pretty.
I know.
560
00:31:36.761 --> 00:31:39.980
Are you really
gonna let us look good at your wedding?
561
00:31:39.981 --> 00:31:43.985
No. That's Mom's dress.
Those are the bridesmaids' dresses.
562
00:31:45.486 --> 00:31:46.737
Sorry. Mom picked them out,
563
00:31:46.738 --> 00:31:48.573
and I'm trying
to keep her happy
564
00:31:48.573 --> 00:31:50.241
because I invited
Dad to the wedding.
565
00:31:50.241 --> 00:31:51.742
Have you told Mom?
566
00:31:51.743 --> 00:31:53.111
No, not yet.
567
00:31:55.163 --> 00:31:57.114
Oh, wow!
568
00:31:57.115 --> 00:31:58.749
I think this is it, right?
569
00:32:01.336 --> 00:32:03.204
It's beautiful.
570
00:32:03.204 --> 00:32:05.206
Perfect.
I love it.
571
00:32:05.206 --> 00:32:07.458
That is a lot of poof.
572
00:32:07.458 --> 00:32:09.259
The poof is what
I like about it.
573
00:32:09.260 --> 00:32:11.595
But don't you want to have
wedding night sex with your dress still on?
574
00:32:11.596 --> 00:32:13.097
I don't know. Do I?
575
00:32:13.097 --> 00:32:14.798
Yeah, naughty bride,
you do.
576
00:32:14.799 --> 00:32:16.801
I'm just concerned
that with all those layers
577
00:32:16.801 --> 00:32:18.302
he's not gonna be
able to find your vagina.
578
00:32:18.803 --> 00:32:19.804
Good point.
579
00:32:19.804 --> 00:32:20.805
I mean, forget about 69.
580
00:32:20.805 --> 00:32:24.308
She's not gonna 69.
581
00:32:24.309 --> 00:32:25.310
Why not?
582
00:32:25.310 --> 00:32:27.111
Because she's a grown-up.
583
00:32:27.111 --> 00:32:28.979
Sixty-nines are
for when you're 17
584
00:32:28.980 --> 00:32:30.982
and you're trying
to cram everything in at once
585
00:32:30.982 --> 00:32:32.483
before your parents
get home.
586
00:32:32.483 --> 00:32:33.984
Thank you.
587
00:32:33.985 --> 00:32:35.486
Matt is always
trying to do that,
588
00:32:35.486 --> 00:32:37.704
and I say,
"Let's just take turns.
589
00:32:37.705 --> 00:32:39.707
"What's the rush?"
590
00:32:39.707 --> 00:32:41.709
Oh, my God.
He found Dave Hansen.
591
00:32:41.709 --> 00:32:43.911
Wait. Are you tracking down
all your ex-boyfriends
592
00:32:43.911 --> 00:32:46.413
so you don't
have to go over 20?
593
00:32:46.414 --> 00:32:47.665
What?
Think about it.
594
00:32:47.665 --> 00:32:49.500
If it works out
with one of these guys,
595
00:32:49.500 --> 00:32:51.502
that means a whole
period of my life won't have been a waste.
596
00:32:51.803 --> 00:32:53.387
Yeah, but it didn't work out
with any of those guys
597
00:32:53.671 --> 00:32:55.472
because they were
all wrong for you.
598
00:32:55.473 --> 00:32:58.392
Dave Hansen. Isn't that
the magician you dated?
599
00:33:04.098 --> 00:33:06.433
I believe this is yours.
600
00:33:14.108 --> 00:33:16.110
I believe these are yours.
601
00:33:20.698 --> 00:33:23.083
Wow! You work fast!
602
00:33:23.084 --> 00:33:25.920
This one was easy.
He has his own website,
603
00:33:25.920 --> 00:33:27.504
supersexymagic.com.
604
00:33:29.507 --> 00:33:31.675
Well, I'm sure I'll
be able to find him.
605
00:33:31.676 --> 00:33:34.762
So, you can scoot
and skedaddle.
606
00:33:34.762 --> 00:33:36.096
And miss the show?
607
00:33:43.388 --> 00:33:44.772
Okay.
608
00:33:47.975 --> 00:33:50.477
Nope, I'm done here.
609
00:33:50.478 --> 00:33:51.695
That's it?
610
00:33:53.815 --> 00:33:56.317
Why? Because
he's a bartender?
611
00:33:56.317 --> 00:33:58.319
No, because he's
still a bartender.
612
00:33:58.319 --> 00:34:00.321
He's exactly where
he was nine years ago,
613
00:34:00.321 --> 00:34:04.825
an out-of-work magician
who sleeps till noon, bartends till 3:00,
614
00:34:04.826 --> 00:34:06.828
and goes around
pulling money out of people.
615
00:34:06.828 --> 00:34:08.329
He keeps your quarter,
by the way.
616
00:34:08.329 --> 00:34:11.832
So what?
You could have had some fun for old times' sake.
617
00:34:11.833 --> 00:34:13.835
No. You know,
even if it didn't raise my number,
618
00:34:13.835 --> 00:34:16.337
I can't afford to
waste any more time on guys like him.
619
00:34:16.838 --> 00:34:18.339
Wait, wait, wait.
That's what this is about?
620
00:34:18.339 --> 00:34:20.841
You don't want to
raise your number!
621
00:34:20.842 --> 00:34:23.344
That's why you
won't sleep with me.
622
00:34:23.344 --> 00:34:26.847
No, there's a lot of reasons
why I won't sleep with you.
623
00:34:27.348 --> 00:34:28.766
No, there's not.
624
00:34:28.766 --> 00:34:31.268
I don't know why
girls care so much about their number anyway.
625
00:34:31.269 --> 00:34:34.905
You guys all
have this ideal girl in your minds
626
00:34:34.906 --> 00:34:38.910
and if our number
gets too high, we can't be that girl.
627
00:34:38.910 --> 00:34:41.412
The ideal girl.
Tell me about her.
628
00:34:41.412 --> 00:34:43.914
You know,
you can take her home to the family,
629
00:34:43.915 --> 00:34:45.917
she's smart,
but not smarter than you,
630
00:34:45.917 --> 00:34:48.419
and she bakes apple pies
with your mom
631
00:34:48.419 --> 00:34:49.920
and plays catch
with your handicapped sister,
632
00:34:50.421 --> 00:34:52.423
but then when you're alone,
she's takes off her glasses
633
00:34:52.423 --> 00:34:54.925
and puts on a vinyl cat suit
and fucks you sideways!
634
00:34:54.926 --> 00:34:57.428
That girl doesn't exist.
If she did, I'd be sleeping with her.
635
00:34:57.428 --> 00:34:58.929
And what kind of guy
cares about
636
00:34:58.930 --> 00:35:01.432
how many people you've
slept with anyway?
637
00:35:01.432 --> 00:35:02.933
Decent guys.
638
00:35:26.374 --> 00:35:29.710
Hey! What are you doing?
639
00:35:31.129 --> 00:35:32.130
Waiting for
640
00:35:33.631 --> 00:35:35.132
Amy to leave.
641
00:35:35.133 --> 00:35:38.052
You hooked up with
someone last night after I left you?
642
00:35:38.052 --> 00:35:40.304
Hooking up sounds so crass.
643
00:35:40.304 --> 00:35:43.307
We shared
a romantic experience.
644
00:35:43.307 --> 00:35:45.309
And then I told her
I had an early dentist appointment,
645
00:35:45.309 --> 00:35:48.312
and I'm hiding on your
couch till she leaves.
646
00:35:48.312 --> 00:35:52.649
Well, maybe you
could use this downtime to do some actual work.
647
00:35:53.151 --> 00:35:55.903
I am working. I set up
a Facebook account for you.
648
00:35:56.270 --> 00:35:59.606
I don't want
to be on Facebook. What picture did you use?
649
00:35:59.607 --> 00:36:01.492
The one I just took
of you sleeping.
650
00:36:01.492 --> 00:36:02.993
I think this is
gonna be better.
651
00:36:02.994 --> 00:36:04.662
While you're looking for them,
they can be looking for you.
652
00:36:04.662 --> 00:36:06.413
Fine, but I refuse to tweet.
653
00:36:06.414 --> 00:36:07.415
Ooh!
654
00:36:07.915 --> 00:36:10.918
Number 14, Evan Slater,
has friend-requested you.
655
00:36:10.918 --> 00:36:12.703
He's tagged you in a photo
656
00:36:12.703 --> 00:36:16.289
and he's suggested
you become a fan of Tito's Tacos.
657
00:36:16.290 --> 00:36:18.292
Ooh. I liked Evan.
658
00:36:18.292 --> 00:36:20.794
Yeah, and who
doesn't like tacos?
659
00:36:20.795 --> 00:36:22.680
He's adorable.
660
00:36:25.850 --> 00:36:28.352
And so are his wife and kids.
661
00:36:28.719 --> 00:36:31.221
Well, he clearly
doesn't understand what Facebook is for.
662
00:36:31.222 --> 00:36:33.440
You know, if you don't start
taking this job more seriously,
663
00:36:33.441 --> 00:36:35.943
you're fired from
using my apartment.
664
00:36:36.944 --> 00:36:37.945
Where's my coffee pot?
665
00:36:37.945 --> 00:36:39.896
I broke it.
666
00:36:39.897 --> 00:36:41.698
If you were on Twitter,
you'd know that already.
667
00:36:46.537 --> 00:36:48.956
You owe me $19.95.
668
00:36:48.956 --> 00:36:50.958
How about I pay you back
in Chinese food?
669
00:36:50.958 --> 00:36:52.242
I ordered Charlie Chiang.
670
00:36:52.243 --> 00:36:54.044
Did you get
the itty-bitty spare ribs?
671
00:36:55.546 --> 00:36:57.047
Okay, I'll be there
in five minutes.
672
00:36:58.499 --> 00:36:59.333
Hey.
673
00:36:59.800 --> 00:37:01.301
Hey, come on in.
674
00:37:08.809 --> 00:37:10.844
Wow.
Yeah.
675
00:37:10.845 --> 00:37:12.847
Dad didn't take me
to too many ball games,
676
00:37:12.847 --> 00:37:15.316
but we did go on
a lot of stakeouts.
677
00:37:15.316 --> 00:37:16.684
It's impressive.
678
00:37:19.687 --> 00:37:21.989
COLIN: Okay, so Mike Miller
and Eric Hamilton are married.
679
00:37:21.989 --> 00:37:25.242
So is Valerio,
the guy from Italy.
680
00:37:25.243 --> 00:37:26.611
Ew.
Plum sauce?
681
00:37:26.611 --> 00:37:28.112
Yes, please, but no mustard.
682
00:37:28.112 --> 00:37:30.581
No mustard?
Mustard's the best part.
683
00:37:30.581 --> 00:37:32.916
Not if you hate mustard.
684
00:37:32.917 --> 00:37:34.785
Anything on
Jake Adams yet?
685
00:37:34.785 --> 00:37:36.286
No. I'm sorry.
686
00:37:36.287 --> 00:37:38.789
I told you,
rich people are very good at protecting their privacy,
687
00:37:38.789 --> 00:37:40.757
but just be patient,
we'll find him.
688
00:37:40.758 --> 00:37:42.760
What about Simon Forester?
689
00:37:42.760 --> 00:37:44.762
He's separated
and his house just went on the market,
690
00:37:44.762 --> 00:37:47.264
so I'm guessing a divorce
is right around the corner.
691
00:37:47.765 --> 00:37:50.267
Huh. Okay.
Let's try Simon.
692
00:37:50.268 --> 00:37:51.936
Simon.
693
00:37:51.936 --> 00:37:55.723
Okay, so what's my plan?
Guy getting a divorce.
694
00:37:56.557 --> 00:37:57.307
Divorce...
695
00:37:59.644 --> 00:38:01.145
I could find out
who his lawyer is
696
00:38:01.145 --> 00:38:03.113
and get a job there
as his assistant.
697
00:38:03.114 --> 00:38:07.401
Or we keep it simple
and you just go look at his open house.
698
00:38:09.203 --> 00:38:10.204
Huh.
699
00:38:10.204 --> 00:38:12.155
The challenge with
a newly divorced guy
700
00:38:12.156 --> 00:38:13.657
is that he's just
looking to have fun.
701
00:38:13.658 --> 00:38:15.660
What you got to do
is give him the best sex of his life.
702
00:38:15.660 --> 00:38:18.579
He can't realize that he's
falling in love with you until it's too late.
703
00:38:18.713 --> 00:38:22.466
So, I'm covering up the fact
that I'm marriage material with amazing sex?
704
00:38:22.466 --> 00:38:24.801
Yeah. How's your blowjob?
705
00:38:24.802 --> 00:38:26.136
What?
706
00:38:26.137 --> 00:38:28.255
Relax. This is business.
I'm trying to help you.
707
00:38:28.255 --> 00:38:30.757
Well, if you must know,
it's pretty good.
708
00:38:30.758 --> 00:38:32.760
It's the hand job
I haven't quite figured out yet.
709
00:38:32.760 --> 00:38:36.146
Well, I guarantee you
he has, so skip it.
710
00:38:36.147 --> 00:38:38.649
All right,
I guess this is it.
711
00:38:38.649 --> 00:38:39.650
Ready?
Yeah.
712
00:38:41.652 --> 00:38:45.155
This is nice.
Simon's doing well.
713
00:38:45.156 --> 00:38:47.658
I wonder where
the realtor is.
714
00:38:48.159 --> 00:38:49.160
Hello?
715
00:38:54.448 --> 00:38:55.832
Is that...
716
00:38:57.335 --> 00:38:58.836
What the...
717
00:38:58.836 --> 00:39:00.120
Donald!
Ally!
718
00:39:00.121 --> 00:39:01.789
What the fuck are
you doing in my home?
719
00:39:02.790 --> 00:39:04.291
Uh...
720
00:39:04.291 --> 00:39:08.545
The door was open,
so I just assumed this was the open house.
721
00:39:08.546 --> 00:39:12.550
No. No. This is my house.
You're in my home.
722
00:39:13.050 --> 00:39:13.967
Oh, well...
723
00:39:15.970 --> 00:39:19.473
My fiance, Pierre, and I
are looking to buy a place
724
00:39:20.474 --> 00:39:23.477
when he gets back
from the North Pole.
725
00:39:23.477 --> 00:39:26.897
Hey, Ally, can I go ahead
and get that picture back from you?
726
00:39:28.315 --> 00:39:31.318
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oops.
727
00:39:46.634 --> 00:39:48.636
That was Disgusting Donald.
728
00:39:48.636 --> 00:39:49.637
He didn't look disgusting.
729
00:39:49.637 --> 00:39:52.423
He was disgusting
when I dated him, okay?
730
00:39:56.727 --> 00:39:58.095
Oh, my God,
there's Simon.
731
00:39:58.562 --> 00:40:01.565
He looks good for a guy
going through a divorce.
732
00:40:09.440 --> 00:40:10.774
Before you take my order,
733
00:40:10.775 --> 00:40:15.279
I do feel compelled to explain
why a single, straight man
734
00:40:15.279 --> 00:40:17.781
is having high tea by himself
on Beacon Hill.
735
00:40:17.782 --> 00:40:19.784
Well, um,
736
00:40:19.784 --> 00:40:23.287
I'm just so homesick
that I'd kill for anything English.
737
00:40:31.178 --> 00:40:33.180
Okay, so go.
I can take it from here.
738
00:40:33.180 --> 00:40:34.514
Don't shove me.
Get out of here.
739
00:40:34.515 --> 00:40:36.383
Don't shove me.
740
00:40:36.383 --> 00:40:38.935
Get out of here!
Hey! I said don't shove me!
741
00:40:38.936 --> 00:40:40.220
Ally Darling?
742
00:40:41.439 --> 00:40:42.807
Is that you?
743
00:40:45.309 --> 00:40:47.277
Simon, I can't believe it.
744
00:40:48.312 --> 00:40:50.113
What are the chances?
745
00:40:51.782 --> 00:40:53.316
It's brilliant to see you.
746
00:40:53.317 --> 00:40:55.319
It is brilliant.
747
00:40:55.820 --> 00:41:00.324
Simon,
this is my neighbor, Colin. But he has to go now.
748
00:41:00.324 --> 00:41:01.825
No, I don't.
749
00:41:01.826 --> 00:41:04.044
Pleasure.
No, no, the pleasure's all mine.
750
00:41:05.412 --> 00:41:07.130
Wow.
751
00:41:07.131 --> 00:41:09.133
Wow. It's great to see...
752
00:41:09.133 --> 00:41:10.968
Did you look this good
when we were dating?
753
00:41:10.968 --> 00:41:14.504
Oh, well,
I had a fringe back then.
754
00:41:14.505 --> 00:41:17.007
That's bangs.
"Fringe" is "bangs."
755
00:41:18.008 --> 00:41:19.009
Americans.
756
00:41:19.009 --> 00:41:20.510
Listen, they're
showing my house,
757
00:41:20.511 --> 00:41:22.179
so I've got to disappear
for an hour or so,
758
00:41:22.179 --> 00:41:23.513
but do you fancy
grabbing a pint?
759
00:41:24.932 --> 00:41:26.266
Smashing.
760
00:41:27.234 --> 00:41:28.768
Cheerio, Colin.
761
00:41:28.769 --> 00:41:31.021
How are you fancying
driving on the right?
762
00:41:31.906 --> 00:41:34.158
Cross Simon off the list.
763
00:41:34.942 --> 00:41:36.443
What happened?
764
00:41:36.443 --> 00:41:39.446
My British accent
was a little rusty, and halfway through darts
765
00:41:39.446 --> 00:41:41.197
I started sounding
like Eliza Doolittle.
766
00:41:43.701 --> 00:41:46.003
Don't take your eye
off the board.
767
00:41:47.087 --> 00:41:51.341
No. Straight.
Just... Higher. Better.
768
00:41:53.460 --> 00:41:57.464
Bloody 'ell! I'm rubbish at this.
769
00:42:02.303 --> 00:42:04.772
You were saying
you got sacked.
770
00:42:05.272 --> 00:42:08.642
Yep. Losing me job
wasn't the end of the world.
771
00:42:09.143 --> 00:42:11.145
Still got me mates
and a roof over me 'ead.
772
00:42:11.145 --> 00:42:14.982
I don't need much,
just a room somewhere,
773
00:42:14.982 --> 00:42:19.319
far away from
the cold night air.
774
00:42:22.122 --> 00:42:24.124
And then when I tried
to pull out of it,
775
00:42:24.124 --> 00:42:27.410
for some reason I panicked
and went full Borat.
776
00:42:27.828 --> 00:42:31.331
So, I order another round?
777
00:42:33.334 --> 00:42:37.254
No. No, I think we
better call it a night.
778
00:42:37.254 --> 00:42:41.758
Oh, no! I talk whole time.
I know nothing about you.
779
00:42:45.062 --> 00:42:49.066
So, what's next for Svorgon?
780
00:42:54.021 --> 00:42:55.322
Svorgon?
781
00:42:55.322 --> 00:42:58.191
I turned into the Swedish Chef
from The Muppets.
782
00:42:58.192 --> 00:42:59.193
He was my favorite.
783
00:42:59.193 --> 00:43:02.696
Okay.
Who else we got?
784
00:43:06.367 --> 00:43:08.001
I thought we weren't
allowed up here.
785
00:43:08.502 --> 00:43:09.503
Didn't you get that memo?
786
00:43:09.503 --> 00:43:11.288
I wrote that memo.
787
00:43:11.288 --> 00:43:12.289
It was getting
kind of crowded,
788
00:43:12.790 --> 00:43:13.791
and my band and I
practice up here.
789
00:43:14.291 --> 00:43:16.293
Where does
your band play?
790
00:43:16.293 --> 00:43:18.295
Here, for now.
791
00:43:18.796 --> 00:43:21.298
My mom's friend is
looking for a band for her son's bar mitzvah.
792
00:43:21.298 --> 00:43:24.301
No, thank you.
We're not that kind of band.
793
00:43:24.301 --> 00:43:25.969
The kind that makes money?
794
00:43:26.470 --> 00:43:27.971
Let's drop it.
795
00:43:27.972 --> 00:43:30.190
We got 10 possibilities left.
796
00:43:30.190 --> 00:43:34.194
Jay from Club Med Turkoise.
I'm trying, but I need more info.
797
00:43:34.194 --> 00:43:36.196
I'm sorry,
it was spring break.
798
00:43:36.196 --> 00:43:38.198
Jay may not even
be his real name.
799
00:43:38.198 --> 00:43:40.783
I'm certainly not
Kelli with an "I."
800
00:43:40.784 --> 00:43:42.285
Barrett Ingold,
lives in Miami.
801
00:43:42.786 --> 00:43:45.789
I know it's not
geographically desirable, but he is a doctor now.
802
00:43:45.789 --> 00:43:47.707
Don't care. I hate Miami.
803
00:43:48.208 --> 00:43:49.209
I think too much sun
makes people stupid.
804
00:43:50.928 --> 00:43:52.800
Okay. How do you feel
about Denver?
805
00:43:52.800 --> 00:43:54.301
I found the mountain man,
806
00:43:54.302 --> 00:43:56.304
and that guy
has got a caboose worth relocating for.
807
00:43:56.304 --> 00:43:59.307
Pass! He always wanted
to breathe fresh air.
808
00:43:59.307 --> 00:44:00.308
Do you know how
exhausting it was
809
00:44:00.308 --> 00:44:01.309
to pretend to
enjoy the outdoors
810
00:44:01.809 --> 00:44:03.010
with that kind of enthusiasm?
811
00:44:03.010 --> 00:44:05.012
More exhausting
than pretending to be British?
812
00:44:05.012 --> 00:44:06.563
I never had to wipe
myself with a leaf
813
00:44:06.564 --> 00:44:07.565
when I was pretending
to be British.
814
00:44:07.565 --> 00:44:10.234
Touche.
What about Gerry Perry?
815
00:44:10.234 --> 00:44:12.019
He's a puppeteer,
so he's single.
816
00:44:13.020 --> 00:44:15.022
I don't want to go out
with Gerry Perry.
817
00:44:15.022 --> 00:44:17.024
Where's Jake Adams?
818
00:44:17.024 --> 00:44:18.525
In Noyaradougou.
819
00:44:18.526 --> 00:44:20.160
What? Where the hell's that?
820
00:44:20.161 --> 00:44:21.662
Africa.
821
00:44:21.662 --> 00:44:23.664
He runs his family's
philanthropic foundation
822
00:44:23.664 --> 00:44:27.167
and he's overseeing
the construction of a school there.
823
00:44:30.171 --> 00:44:32.590
Is he ever coming back?
824
00:44:32.590 --> 00:44:35.626
Eventually. In the meantime,
I've got Gerry Perry.
825
00:44:35.626 --> 00:44:36.627
No!
826
00:44:38.596 --> 00:44:41.599
All right, so the puppet
show starts at 2:00, and I'll meet you at the park.
827
00:44:42.099 --> 00:44:43.600
Okay.
828
00:44:43.601 --> 00:44:44.551
Hey, Colin.
829
00:44:44.552 --> 00:44:46.053
Yeah?
830
00:44:46.053 --> 00:44:48.438
Thank you for
all your hard work, by the way.
831
00:44:48.939 --> 00:44:50.941
I really appreciate it.
832
00:44:50.941 --> 00:44:52.275
You do?
833
00:44:52.276 --> 00:44:54.111
Because sometimes,
it's hard to tell.
834
00:44:55.029 --> 00:44:56.030
Really?
835
00:44:57.031 --> 00:44:58.282
Oh...
836
00:45:06.574 --> 00:45:08.042
What are you doing?
837
00:45:08.042 --> 00:45:10.544
Trying to end
the night with a bang.
838
00:45:12.163 --> 00:45:13.664
You really can't
hang out with a girl
839
00:45:13.664 --> 00:45:15.165
without sleeping
with her, can you?
840
00:45:16.634 --> 00:45:19.637
Well, I can,
it's just not that much fun.
841
00:45:23.641 --> 00:45:25.643
You're not on my list.
842
00:45:29.146 --> 00:45:32.149
You could just
cross off the dead guy,
843
00:45:32.149 --> 00:45:34.601
put my name on there.
844
00:45:39.490 --> 00:45:41.325
GERRY AS PUPPET:
Who did the poop?
845
00:45:41.325 --> 00:45:42.743
ALL: You did the poop!
846
00:45:43.244 --> 00:45:44.245
Hey.
Hey.
847
00:45:46.247 --> 00:45:47.248
Whose kid is this?
848
00:45:47.248 --> 00:45:48.332
He's my nephew.
849
00:45:48.833 --> 00:45:50.334
If I'd shown up
to the puppet show without a child,
850
00:45:50.334 --> 00:45:52.336
it might be creepy.
851
00:45:52.336 --> 00:45:53.337
Great. Huh.
852
00:45:53.337 --> 00:45:54.838
Can you say hi,
Justin?
853
00:45:54.839 --> 00:45:55.840
Arr!
854
00:45:55.840 --> 00:45:57.341
He's a pirate.
855
00:45:57.341 --> 00:45:59.593
GERRY AS PUPPET:
What are you talking about?
856
00:46:04.715 --> 00:46:05.716
All right, you're up.
857
00:46:06.717 --> 00:46:07.851
Great.
858
00:46:07.852 --> 00:46:08.853
Come on.
859
00:46:11.105 --> 00:46:12.606
Thanks, Gerry.
860
00:46:12.606 --> 00:46:14.441
You're welcome.
861
00:46:26.654 --> 00:46:28.489
Daisy home?
862
00:46:30.458 --> 00:46:31.959
No.
863
00:46:57.651 --> 00:46:59.986
So, when do you think
Daisy will be home?
864
00:47:06.243 --> 00:47:07.744
Gerry?
Ally?
865
00:47:07.745 --> 00:47:09.246
Oh, my God,
what are you doing here?
866
00:47:09.246 --> 00:47:10.747
Hi. Oh,
867
00:47:10.748 --> 00:47:14.201
you know, I'm just
babysitting for a friend.
868
00:47:14.201 --> 00:47:16.336
Ah, cool.
So, you saw the magical show.
869
00:47:16.837 --> 00:47:19.589
Yeah! Wow, the kids,
they just love it.
870
00:47:19.874 --> 00:47:21.876
That's just because
I say "poop" a lot.
871
00:47:23.511 --> 00:47:24.512
Hey, so,
872
00:47:26.597 --> 00:47:27.965
recognize this bad boy?
873
00:47:27.965 --> 00:47:29.716
Hey there, Smart Alec.
874
00:47:29.717 --> 00:47:30.718
Hi.
875
00:47:33.687 --> 00:47:36.356
So, how are you?
876
00:47:36.357 --> 00:47:38.392
Quit being a pussy,
and ask her about Daisy.
877
00:47:38.392 --> 00:47:41.445
What? Come on, man,
don't be rude.
878
00:47:41.445 --> 00:47:44.731
You are rude.
Sorry about that.
879
00:47:44.732 --> 00:47:47.735
That's okay. Uh...
I'm great.
880
00:47:47.735 --> 00:47:50.487
Great, great.
Well, you look great.
881
00:47:50.955 --> 00:47:53.123
Not as great as Daisy.
882
00:47:53.123 --> 00:47:54.491
Ignore him.
883
00:47:56.460 --> 00:47:58.462
Hey, but seriously,
884
00:47:58.462 --> 00:48:01.998
maybe we should
exchange numbers, you know, and catch up.
885
00:48:02.499 --> 00:48:04.801
You know what?
I think I'm all caught up.
886
00:48:04.802 --> 00:48:06.303
Cool!
887
00:48:06.303 --> 00:48:08.505
But it was really great
running into you.
888
00:48:08.839 --> 00:48:10.340
Great running into you.
889
00:48:10.341 --> 00:48:11.842
No, it wasn't.
890
00:48:11.842 --> 00:48:12.843
Big mouth.
891
00:48:13.344 --> 00:48:15.813
Okay, I'll see you around.
892
00:48:19.817 --> 00:48:21.318
Hey, Daisy.
893
00:48:21.819 --> 00:48:22.820
Hey.
894
00:48:35.866 --> 00:48:37.117
Daisy...
895
00:48:43.007 --> 00:48:46.010
I can't believe
I slept with that guy.
896
00:48:46.010 --> 00:48:48.012
Where's Justin?
897
00:48:48.012 --> 00:48:49.513
This is Justin.
898
00:48:50.014 --> 00:48:51.015
That's not Justin.
899
00:48:52.466 --> 00:48:54.384
What's the matter with you?
900
00:48:54.385 --> 00:48:55.386
Didn't your mom teach you
to not walk off with strangers?
901
00:48:55.886 --> 00:48:57.387
What's the matter
with you?
902
00:48:57.388 --> 00:48:59.390
You didn't realize you had
a completely different human being?
903
00:48:59.390 --> 00:49:00.858
Justin!
904
00:49:00.858 --> 00:49:04.194
Okay. What does
your mommy look like?
905
00:49:04.194 --> 00:49:05.195
Like you.
906
00:49:05.195 --> 00:49:07.397
Lucas! Get back here!
907
00:49:10.367 --> 00:49:11.701
Wait. Wait.
908
00:49:13.621 --> 00:49:16.907
Do you really think
I look like your mommy? Huh?
909
00:49:17.741 --> 00:49:19.793
Answer me!
910
00:49:19.793 --> 00:49:21.161
Answer me, Lucas!
911
00:49:22.162 --> 00:49:23.997
Lucas!
912
00:49:27.084 --> 00:49:30.087
No disappearing acts,
buddy.
913
00:49:30.087 --> 00:49:34.591
Okay, I am not
buying you any more food until you find Jake Adams.
914
00:49:34.591 --> 00:49:36.593
If he was so perfect,
why didn't it work out in the first place?
915
00:49:38.595 --> 00:49:41.097
Well, we made this pact
that we would lose our virginity to each other,
916
00:49:41.098 --> 00:49:44.101
but Jake went abroad
junior year, and while he was gone,
917
00:49:44.601 --> 00:49:46.102
I broke the pact.
918
00:49:46.103 --> 00:49:47.604
With who?
919
00:49:47.604 --> 00:49:50.106
Which one of the 20
could have possibly been better than Jake Adams?
920
00:49:50.107 --> 00:49:51.608
And why aren't
we looking for him?
921
00:49:51.608 --> 00:49:53.443
You already found him.
922
00:49:53.444 --> 00:49:54.912
Gerry Perry?
923
00:49:55.412 --> 00:49:57.414
You lost your virginity
to the puppeteer?
924
00:49:58.916 --> 00:50:02.920
I know. I felt bad for him.
925
00:50:02.920 --> 00:50:06.423
Oh, Ally,
I underestimated you. That's amazing.
926
00:50:06.423 --> 00:50:09.759
That's... That's my
new favorite thing about you.
927
00:50:10.678 --> 00:50:12.680
Hi. Thank you.
928
00:50:14.682 --> 00:50:15.683
Hey.
Hi.
929
00:50:15.683 --> 00:50:17.184
Is Eddie coming?
930
00:50:17.184 --> 00:50:18.685
No. Mom. Don't go.
931
00:50:21.105 --> 00:50:22.890
I can't have lunch with Mom.
I didn't wash my hair.
932
00:50:22.890 --> 00:50:24.892
You can't even tell.
It looks great.
933
00:50:24.892 --> 00:50:26.393
You haven't told Mom
Dad's coming to the wedding, have you?
934
00:50:27.695 --> 00:50:28.816
No.
935
00:50:28.816 --> 00:50:29.783
And that's why I'm here.
936
00:50:29.784 --> 00:50:30.701
Yes.
937
00:50:30.701 --> 00:50:32.652
And my hair
doesn't look that great?
938
00:50:32.653 --> 00:50:34.871
No. I can't tell her alone.
939
00:50:35.706 --> 00:50:38.959
Fine. Pass the butter.
940
00:50:38.960 --> 00:50:40.461
(HUMMING THE WEDDING MARCH)
Hi, Mummy.
941
00:50:41.913 --> 00:50:42.914
Hi, Mom.
942
00:50:42.914 --> 00:50:46.133
Kitty. Oh, my.
943
00:50:46.634 --> 00:50:48.836
So, the caterer called.
944
00:50:48.836 --> 00:50:52.840
Um, how strict a vegetarian
is your boyfriend Rick, honey?
945
00:50:53.341 --> 00:50:56.010
Would he be willing to eat
just a little chicken for one night?
946
00:50:56.010 --> 00:50:57.511
No, Rick's not coming.
They broke up.
947
00:50:58.012 --> 00:51:00.397
Daisy!
What? Not again.
948
00:51:00.398 --> 00:51:01.899
Dad's coming to the wedding.
What?
949
00:51:02.350 --> 00:51:03.851
Ally!
950
00:51:05.569 --> 00:51:07.737
How could you do this to me?
951
00:51:07.738 --> 00:51:10.357
I'm not doing
anything to you, Mom.
952
00:51:10.858 --> 00:51:13.861
Except making it impossible
for me to come.
953
00:51:13.861 --> 00:51:15.362
You're not gonna
come to my wedding?
954
00:51:15.363 --> 00:51:18.866
Not if your
father's coming, I'm not.
955
00:51:19.367 --> 00:51:21.702
Maybe he can be
Allison's date. Hmm?
956
00:51:21.702 --> 00:51:25.338
I'm sure you will just have
a lovely, lovely time.
957
00:51:25.339 --> 00:51:27.341
Bye, Mom. Bye.
Bye, Mom.
958
00:51:28.342 --> 00:51:29.343
You have to fix this.
959
00:51:29.844 --> 00:51:30.845
I'll talk to her
when I get back.
960
00:51:30.845 --> 00:51:32.096
Where are you going?
961
00:51:32.096 --> 00:51:34.098
Miami, for a Pap smear.
962
00:51:34.098 --> 00:51:35.099
Why?
963
00:51:35.099 --> 00:51:36.600
Do you remember
Barrett Ingold?
964
00:51:36.600 --> 00:51:38.101
The guy who threw up
in our dishwasher?
965
00:51:38.102 --> 00:51:40.104
Yeah.
He's a gynecologist now.
966
00:51:40.104 --> 00:51:41.438
But you hate Miami.
967
00:51:41.439 --> 00:51:43.808
I know. But I'm not having
as much luck as I'd hoped locally
968
00:51:43.808 --> 00:51:46.360
and I'm running out of time,
money, and viable eggs.
969
00:51:46.360 --> 00:51:48.945
So, you're telling me
that tracking down your ex-boyfriends
970
00:51:48.946 --> 00:51:52.449
is more important
than helping me plan my wedding?
971
00:51:52.450 --> 00:51:54.952
I know it
sounds stupid to you, but it is important.
972
00:51:54.952 --> 00:51:57.955
I feel like everyone else
is moving on with their lives but me.
973
00:51:57.955 --> 00:52:00.958
Ally, I'm all for
moving on, I really am,
974
00:52:00.958 --> 00:52:04.962
but it just feels like
this quest you're on is a little nuts.
975
00:52:04.962 --> 00:52:06.463
You know what?
976
00:52:06.464 --> 00:52:07.965
If you hadn't given
your ex-boyfriend a second chance,
977
00:52:07.965 --> 00:52:09.466
you wouldn't even
be having a wedding.
978
00:52:09.467 --> 00:52:13.471
Besides, I need a Pap smear
and he takes my insurance.
979
00:52:13.471 --> 00:52:14.839
I'm late for my spray tan.
980
00:52:33.741 --> 00:52:35.242
Hello, Allison.
981
00:52:37.194 --> 00:52:39.196
Barrett?
982
00:52:39.196 --> 00:52:42.582
Oh, my God, is that you?
983
00:52:44.085 --> 00:52:44.952
Hi.
984
00:52:46.420 --> 00:52:49.423
It's Ally. Ally Darling.
985
00:52:49.423 --> 00:52:51.758
Oh. Yeah, from spinning.
986
00:52:52.176 --> 00:52:53.594
No.
987
00:52:53.594 --> 00:52:55.796
From...
Oh, Greg's birthday party.
988
00:52:55.796 --> 00:52:58.098
We went to college together.
989
00:52:59.934 --> 00:53:01.518
We dated.
Oh.
990
00:53:03.020 --> 00:53:04.388
How about that?
991
00:53:04.388 --> 00:53:06.807
Well, that was
a long time ago.
992
00:53:06.807 --> 00:53:10.143
So, let's see how
things are going now. Can you scooch?
993
00:53:11.112 --> 00:53:12.113
Very good.
994
00:53:21.288 --> 00:53:24.291
Ally! Of course.
995
00:53:27.878 --> 00:53:30.380
He recognized my vagina!
996
00:53:30.748 --> 00:53:34.718
What's going on down there?
I got to say, I'm a little freaked out.
997
00:53:34.718 --> 00:53:36.219
Well, I'd be happy to
take a look for you.
998
00:53:36.220 --> 00:53:38.922
I used
all my miles for that!
999
00:53:38.923 --> 00:53:40.925
Cross Barrett off the list!
1000
00:53:40.925 --> 00:53:42.927
You know what?
Cross the list off the list!
1001
00:53:42.927 --> 00:53:44.478
What am I doing?
1002
00:53:44.478 --> 00:53:47.564
Unemployed,
spending every last dime
1003
00:53:47.565 --> 00:53:49.066
trying to track down
these assholes
1004
00:53:49.066 --> 00:53:51.568
who already broke up
with me once.
1005
00:53:52.069 --> 00:53:54.071
Maybe I should just quit.
1006
00:53:54.572 --> 00:53:57.575
Well, that's too bad,
'cause I found Tom Piper.
1007
00:53:58.075 --> 00:53:59.576
Keep talking.
1008
00:53:59.577 --> 00:54:01.078
He's in D.C.,
like you said.
1009
00:54:01.078 --> 00:54:02.579
He's working as an aide
for Senator Mitchell.
1010
00:54:07.618 --> 00:54:09.119
I don't have anything
a politician's wife would wear.
1011
00:54:09.120 --> 00:54:10.121
Ooh!
1012
00:54:10.121 --> 00:54:13.124
I do have a store credit
for Ann Taylor. Ha!
1013
00:54:13.958 --> 00:54:15.459
Hi.
1014
00:54:15.459 --> 00:54:17.461
DAISY: I'm on your street
and I have to poo.
1015
00:54:17.461 --> 00:54:20.464
Okay, let yourself in,
I'll be home in 10 minutes.
1016
00:54:22.716 --> 00:54:24.551
Hi.
1017
00:54:26.020 --> 00:54:27.021
Hey.
1018
00:54:27.021 --> 00:54:28.722
Oh, Jesus.
1019
00:54:28.722 --> 00:54:31.524
Tell me you're not
naked on my couch next to my sister.
1020
00:54:31.525 --> 00:54:34.528
Thankfully,
he doesn't like to play without his underwear.
1021
00:54:34.528 --> 00:54:36.530
The guitar gets cold
against his penis.
1022
00:54:37.031 --> 00:54:39.950
So, you two have met.
1023
00:54:39.950 --> 00:54:41.952
Hey, remember Tom Piper?
1024
00:54:42.453 --> 00:54:45.456
Colin found him in D.C.,
so I'm going there tomorrow,
1025
00:54:46.457 --> 00:54:48.242
wearing this!
1026
00:54:48.242 --> 00:54:49.743
I'm so excited.
1027
00:54:49.743 --> 00:54:51.244
Then why would
you wear a pantsuit?
1028
00:54:51.245 --> 00:54:53.747
Don't you have your interview
at Sheffield and Bloom tomorrow?
1029
00:54:53.747 --> 00:54:55.498
That's the beauty of
a pantsuit, you know.
1030
00:54:55.499 --> 00:54:58.168
It works for both
a super-boring interview
1031
00:54:58.169 --> 00:55:02.056
and for an accidental,
on-purpose encounter with my future husband.
1032
00:55:02.056 --> 00:55:04.725
Hey, did you ever try and sell
those freaky little sculptures you make?
1033
00:55:04.725 --> 00:55:05.726
No, she needs
a real job.
1034
00:55:05.726 --> 00:55:07.728
Oh, yeah,
those are just a hobby.
1035
00:55:08.229 --> 00:55:09.263
COLIN: I think
they're amazing.
1036
00:55:09.263 --> 00:55:11.098
You should try.
Not everyone can do that, you know.
1037
00:55:12.600 --> 00:55:13.984
Excuse me,
would you mind giving me and Ally
1038
00:55:13.984 --> 00:55:14.985
a little bit of privacy,
please?
1039
00:55:16.620 --> 00:55:17.357
She has to poo.
1040
00:55:17.825 --> 00:55:19.860
Ally!
1041
00:55:19.861 --> 00:55:22.196
Hey, hasn't your
lady friend left yet?
1042
00:55:22.196 --> 00:55:24.698
No, I guess this one's
a late sleeper.
1043
00:55:24.699 --> 00:55:26.200
Wait. Are you...
1044
00:55:26.200 --> 00:55:29.369
Is he hiding out here
because there's a woman in his apartment?
1045
00:55:29.370 --> 00:55:30.871
He is.
1046
00:55:30.872 --> 00:55:33.174
That's it. I'm going
to Anthony's Bakery. Excuse me.
1047
00:55:33.457 --> 00:55:36.843
Do you want to
grab me a cannoli? No?
1048
00:55:37.845 --> 00:55:40.430
Okay. Keys.
1049
00:55:54.729 --> 00:55:56.230
Who the hell are you?
1050
00:55:56.230 --> 00:55:57.531
Andrea.
1051
00:55:58.950 --> 00:56:00.952
He didn't tell you
he was engaged?
1052
00:56:01.402 --> 00:56:03.904
No. I am so sorry.
1053
00:56:04.405 --> 00:56:07.574
When I told him I was engaged,
he didn't say anything.
1054
00:56:12.880 --> 00:56:14.965
Why?
1055
00:56:14.966 --> 00:56:16.968
Tits!
1056
00:56:16.968 --> 00:56:19.470
Oh. Oh.
1057
00:56:20.471 --> 00:56:23.974
Oh. Why? Why?
1058
00:56:33.601 --> 00:56:36.103
Hey, wouldn't it be easier
1059
00:56:36.103 --> 00:56:38.605
if you just spent the night
at their apartments
1060
00:56:38.606 --> 00:56:41.108
and left in the morning,
like a normal guy?
1061
00:56:41.108 --> 00:56:42.609
No.
1062
00:56:42.610 --> 00:56:44.111
I once stayed in
a relationship with a girl
1063
00:56:44.111 --> 00:56:46.947
because of a picture she had
on her bedside table.
1064
00:56:46.948 --> 00:56:50.451
It was her
dressed as Cinderella on her fifth birthday.
1065
00:56:51.953 --> 00:56:53.287
Grab that.
1066
00:56:53.287 --> 00:56:55.289
So?
1067
00:56:55.289 --> 00:56:57.791
So, every time I tried
to split with her,
1068
00:56:57.792 --> 00:56:59.794
I'd picture that little
girl in the blue dress.
1069
00:56:59.794 --> 00:57:03.297
Happy. Excited about Monty,
her new gerbil,
1070
00:57:03.798 --> 00:57:07.134
who she would later kill
by accidentally putting him in the dryer.
1071
00:57:12.940 --> 00:57:15.225
Just couldn't break
that little girl's heart.
1072
00:57:19.563 --> 00:57:21.064
So you're saying
it's easier to sleep with girls
1073
00:57:21.065 --> 00:57:22.066
and never call them again
1074
00:57:22.066 --> 00:57:25.069
if you don't know
anything about them?
1075
00:57:26.704 --> 00:57:28.288
Kind of like a serial killer.
1076
00:57:30.658 --> 00:57:32.159
Yeah, I guess so.
1077
00:57:32.576 --> 00:57:34.578
Hmm.
1078
00:57:34.962 --> 00:57:36.413
COLIN ON PHONE:
Hey, so I talked to Piper's assistant.
1079
00:57:36.414 --> 00:57:37.915
He said he's gonna
be doing research
1080
00:57:37.915 --> 00:57:39.416
in the library of
the Adams Building
1081
00:57:39.417 --> 00:57:40.751
for the rest of the day.
1082
00:57:41.168 --> 00:57:44.171
Oh, wait. Hold on.
My leg fell asleep on the train.
1083
00:57:44.171 --> 00:57:46.556
Pins and needles.
Pins and needles.
1084
00:57:47.058 --> 00:57:48.059
Punch it.
1085
00:57:48.059 --> 00:57:49.060
Really?
1086
00:57:51.562 --> 00:57:53.564
I'm punching.
1087
00:57:53.564 --> 00:57:57.351
What? Your leg's
never fallen asleep before?
1088
00:57:59.403 --> 00:58:00.153
What's that sound?
1089
00:58:01.022 --> 00:58:02.356
Nothing.
1090
00:58:02.857 --> 00:58:05.359
Hey, I didn't know
you were such a big fan of Lionel Richie.
1091
00:58:05.359 --> 00:58:09.746
You know, looking at
somebody's playlist is like reading their diary.
1092
00:58:15.786 --> 00:58:16.670
That's my bathtub.
1093
00:58:22.510 --> 00:58:23.761
Donald.
1094
00:58:23.761 --> 00:58:27.014
Ally...
What are you doing here?
1095
00:58:28.799 --> 00:58:30.600
Visiting my fiance.
1096
00:58:31.602 --> 00:58:34.104
Your fiance who was
at the North Pole?
1097
00:58:34.105 --> 00:58:34.972
Yep.
1098
00:58:35.439 --> 00:58:37.941
He's back. Pierre is back.
1099
00:58:38.275 --> 00:58:40.727
Wow. Pierre just happens
to be in Washington, D.C.,
1100
00:58:40.728 --> 00:58:42.229
the same time that
I have a conference?
1101
00:58:43.731 --> 00:58:47.034
Yep. He's meeting
with the President.
1102
00:58:47.034 --> 00:58:48.402
Oh. What a coincidence.
1103
00:58:48.402 --> 00:58:50.871
I know.
It's crazy, isn't it?
1104
00:58:51.789 --> 00:58:53.073
Yeah, it is.
1105
00:58:54.909 --> 00:58:57.411
That's exactly what it is.
1106
00:58:57.411 --> 00:58:58.712
Okay.
1107
00:59:27.691 --> 00:59:29.192
Do you like freedom?
1108
00:59:29.193 --> 00:59:30.194
Sign here for freedom.
1109
00:59:30.194 --> 00:59:31.695
Be on our mailing list
for George Bush.
1110
00:59:31.695 --> 00:59:34.698
George W. Bush.
Vote George Bush.
1111
00:59:34.698 --> 00:59:35.699
Get on our mailing list.
1112
00:59:36.200 --> 00:59:37.084
Vote for freedom.
1113
00:59:59.311 --> 01:00:01.012
No, no, no. It's taken.
1114
01:00:01.513 --> 01:00:03.014
It's taken.
1115
01:00:11.856 --> 01:00:13.357
Okay, excuse me.
1116
01:00:14.993 --> 01:00:16.494
I'm just wondering
1117
01:00:16.494 --> 01:00:19.663
if you could help me
move the table about three feet this way?
1118
01:00:20.532 --> 01:00:22.367
I just...
I like it better over there.
1119
01:00:24.753 --> 01:00:27.338
Great, keep going just a little further.
1120
01:00:27.339 --> 01:00:32.127
Go, team.
That's fantastic work. Thank you. Almost.
1121
01:00:33.628 --> 01:00:36.714
Almost.
Almost there. Okay.
1122
01:00:36.715 --> 01:00:38.466
Okay, okay, okay. Okay.
1123
01:00:47.108 --> 01:00:48.442
Ally Darling.
1124
01:00:48.860 --> 01:00:50.361
Tom?
1125
01:00:50.362 --> 01:00:51.863
Shh!
1126
01:00:53.698 --> 01:00:56.567
Oh, my God!
He's taking me to this party tonight.
1127
01:00:56.568 --> 01:00:57.869
I offered to stay
at the Best Western,
1128
01:00:57.869 --> 01:00:59.871
but he insisted
on putting me up at the Omni.
1129
01:01:00.372 --> 01:01:01.573
COLIN: He dropped you
off at the hotel
1130
01:01:01.573 --> 01:01:04.075
and didn't come up
for "it's good to see you" sex?
1131
01:01:04.075 --> 01:01:05.543
What'd you do to turn him off?
1132
01:01:05.543 --> 01:01:06.911
Nothing. He's a gentleman.
1133
01:01:07.379 --> 01:01:09.214
You wore that pantsuit,
didn't you?
1134
01:01:09.214 --> 01:01:12.717
That pantsuit is sexy.
It's very Katharine Hepburn.
1135
01:01:12.717 --> 01:01:14.335
All right. Let's clear
something up right now.
1136
01:01:14.335 --> 01:01:16.837
Katharine Hepburn
was not sexy. Audrey Hepburn was sexy.
1137
01:01:16.838 --> 01:01:18.089
Katharine Hepburn was a dude.
1138
01:01:19.090 --> 01:01:22.643
Well, Tom is just a good guy.
1139
01:01:22.644 --> 01:01:25.763
Besides,
you wouldn't know a gentleman if he tiptoed up behind you
1140
01:01:25.764 --> 01:01:27.148
and tickled your balls.
1141
01:01:29.434 --> 01:01:30.935
Hello. Thank you.
1142
01:01:33.822 --> 01:01:35.323
I just got a present.
1143
01:01:36.324 --> 01:01:37.825
Oh!
1144
01:01:37.826 --> 01:01:42.330
He just sent over
the most beautiful dress I've ever seen!
1145
01:01:42.914 --> 01:01:45.283
I feel like Cinderella.
1146
01:01:45.283 --> 01:01:48.786
Careful, if you're
not home by midnight, it might turn into a pantsuit.
1147
01:01:57.929 --> 01:01:59.547
Wow!
1148
01:01:59.547 --> 01:02:00.798
Look at you.
1149
01:02:03.301 --> 01:02:06.304
You don't...
You don't think it's a little small?
1150
01:02:07.806 --> 01:02:09.307
I'm sorry.
1151
01:02:09.307 --> 01:02:11.642
It was hard to tell
what was going on underneath the pantsuit.
1152
01:02:14.312 --> 01:02:17.231
Perfect. You ready?
1153
01:02:17.232 --> 01:02:19.234
Okay.
You all right?
1154
01:02:22.737 --> 01:02:23.738
Excuse me.
1155
01:02:26.241 --> 01:02:27.242
All right.
1156
01:02:27.242 --> 01:02:28.543
Ready? All right.
Ready.
1157
01:02:30.462 --> 01:02:35.467
♪ I feel lucky
I feel free
1158
01:02:35.467 --> 01:02:40.472
♪ I feel everything's
a possibility ♪
1159
01:02:45.477 --> 01:02:47.479
I can't believe
Senator Phillips and his wife
1160
01:02:47.479 --> 01:02:49.981
were talking to us for,
like, 15 minutes. I know!
1161
01:02:49.981 --> 01:02:51.983
He didn't even know my name
before tonight.
1162
01:02:51.983 --> 01:02:54.986
Now he wants to hear my ideas
about the tobacco reform bill.
1163
01:02:54.986 --> 01:02:58.990
And she wants to
take me out to lunch. Some place with popovers!
1164
01:03:00.492 --> 01:03:02.494
We make a great team.
1165
01:03:02.494 --> 01:03:04.579
With you by my side,
we could own this town.
1166
01:03:04.579 --> 01:03:06.581
We could totally own it.
1167
01:03:06.581 --> 01:03:08.366
I mean it, Ally.
1168
01:03:12.537 --> 01:03:16.374
Look, I have my eyes
on a Senate seat, and then the presidency.
1169
01:03:16.374 --> 01:03:18.376
Now, if tonight
is any indication,
1170
01:03:18.376 --> 01:03:20.211
I think together
we could go all the way.
1171
01:03:20.678 --> 01:03:21.545
Let's do it!
1172
01:03:21.546 --> 01:03:22.797
So, we're doing it?
1173
01:03:22.797 --> 01:03:24.098
Yeah!
1174
01:03:25.099 --> 01:03:26.967
What are we doing?
1175
01:03:27.468 --> 01:03:28.802
We're getting married!
1176
01:03:30.271 --> 01:03:32.273
Oh.
Yeah!
1177
01:03:32.273 --> 01:03:34.275
Well,
1178
01:03:34.275 --> 01:03:37.528
maybe we should kiss first
and see how that goes.
1179
01:03:37.529 --> 01:03:40.899
A kiss? No.
1180
01:03:40.899 --> 01:03:43.902
I want you to be my beard.
I'm gay.
1181
01:03:46.621 --> 01:03:47.705
What?
1182
01:03:47.705 --> 01:03:49.707
Gay. Like super gay.
1183
01:03:49.707 --> 01:03:53.210
Like, one down here, one here,
one here, one here, gay.
1184
01:03:54.712 --> 01:03:56.914
I thought you knew that.
1185
01:03:56.915 --> 01:03:59.417
America's ready for
a black President.
1186
01:03:59.417 --> 01:04:02.219
They're not ready for
a gay black President.
1187
01:04:02.220 --> 01:04:05.223
And we have history, Ally.
1188
01:04:05.223 --> 01:04:08.559
I mean, I wouldn't
have known I was gay if I hadn't dated you.
1189
01:04:10.478 --> 01:04:12.980
So, what do you say?
1190
01:04:12.981 --> 01:04:14.983
Can I get back to you?
1191
01:04:34.752 --> 01:04:36.253
Hey, Bandit.
1192
01:04:40.792 --> 01:04:42.593
Wait, wait, wait. Don't move.
Stay right there.
1193
01:04:44.429 --> 01:04:45.847
What are you doing here?
1194
01:04:45.847 --> 01:04:47.348
I'm not depressed enough
to sleep with you.
1195
01:04:47.348 --> 01:04:48.849
Close your eyes.
1196
01:04:49.267 --> 01:04:50.268
That won't help.
1197
01:04:50.268 --> 01:04:51.602
And
1198
01:04:52.053 --> 01:04:53.554
open them.
1199
01:04:58.693 --> 01:05:00.194
What do you think?
1200
01:05:08.703 --> 01:05:09.737
My wiring's a little spotty.
1201
01:05:09.737 --> 01:05:12.406
Every time these go on,
your bathroom light burns out,
1202
01:05:12.407 --> 01:05:14.292
but I think it's worth it.
1203
01:05:17.578 --> 01:05:19.079
What did you do?
1204
01:05:19.080 --> 01:05:21.082
I think it really
brings out the detail, you know?
1205
01:05:21.082 --> 01:05:23.584
I never noticed
Louie's gold tooth before.
1206
01:05:23.885 --> 01:05:25.803
I named him Louie,
by the way.
1207
01:05:27.505 --> 01:05:29.340
I can't believe it.
1208
01:05:29.757 --> 01:05:31.759
This is amazing.
1209
01:05:31.759 --> 01:05:35.262
Yeah. Well,
you sounded depressed on the phone, so...
1210
01:05:35.763 --> 01:05:37.264
You hungry?
1211
01:05:38.766 --> 01:05:39.933
I'm starving!
1212
01:05:42.236 --> 01:05:45.105
So, I got good news.
I found Julie from college.
1213
01:05:45.106 --> 01:05:48.109
She is a man now,
and she's single.
1214
01:05:48.609 --> 01:05:50.243
She's cute.
Looks like Ralph Macchio.
1215
01:05:52.163 --> 01:05:53.864
You know what?
1216
01:05:53.865 --> 01:05:55.366
Even if he were straight,
it wouldn't have worked anyway.
1217
01:05:55.833 --> 01:05:59.336
You got to be a lady
to be the First Lady, and I ain't no lady.
1218
01:05:59.337 --> 01:06:02.206
You're a lady.
You're lots of lady.
1219
01:06:02.707 --> 01:06:06.627
You're once, twice,
20 times a lady.
1220
01:06:12.884 --> 01:06:14.385
Okay. Okay.
1221
01:06:14.385 --> 01:06:17.020
♪ You're once, twice
1222
01:06:17.021 --> 01:06:19.523
♪ Three times a lady
1223
01:06:21.025 --> 01:06:23.027
♪ I love you
1224
01:06:25.530 --> 01:06:29.116
♪ Yeah, you're once, twice
1225
01:06:30.118 --> 01:06:31.402
♪ Three times a lady
1226
01:06:33.821 --> 01:06:36.824
♪ I love you ♪
1227
01:06:40.128 --> 01:06:41.829
Thank you. Thank you.
1228
01:06:41.829 --> 01:06:43.080
Whoa.
1229
01:06:47.468 --> 01:06:49.470
Oh, shit.
1230
01:06:49.470 --> 01:06:52.473
I either need to
lie down or throw up.
1231
01:06:52.974 --> 01:06:53.975
You okay?
1232
01:06:53.975 --> 01:06:56.477
Yeah. No.
1233
01:06:57.478 --> 01:06:58.979
I have to go to
my sister's wedding alone.
1234
01:07:00.398 --> 01:07:02.066
I'll go with you.
1235
01:07:02.567 --> 01:07:03.568
You'd do that?
1236
01:07:03.568 --> 01:07:05.069
Yeah. Why not?
1237
01:07:07.572 --> 01:07:11.075
Thanks.
I really appreciate that.
1238
01:07:14.529 --> 01:07:16.914
I still think
I'm gonna throw up.
1239
01:07:18.866 --> 01:07:19.666
Let's get some air.
1240
01:07:30.211 --> 01:07:31.712
What are we doing?
1241
01:07:31.712 --> 01:07:35.215
Just because it's dark
doesn't mean you have to whisper.
1242
01:07:39.720 --> 01:07:40.721
Are we in the Garden?
1243
01:07:40.721 --> 01:07:42.055
Yep.
1244
01:07:42.974 --> 01:07:44.976
This has got
to be illegal.
1245
01:07:44.976 --> 01:07:47.478
Yeah, probably.
I worked here one summer.
1246
01:07:47.478 --> 01:07:48.645
I passed out programs
1247
01:07:48.646 --> 01:07:51.148
and I managed
to swipe a passkey before I got fired.
1248
01:07:51.649 --> 01:07:52.449
You got fired?
1249
01:07:52.450 --> 01:07:55.953
Yeah. There was an incident
with the mascot.
1250
01:07:56.454 --> 01:07:57.788
What happened?
1251
01:07:58.122 --> 01:08:01.041
I may or may not have pissed
in his pot of gold.
1252
01:08:01.542 --> 01:08:02.743
Ever played H.O.R.S.E.
in the Garden?
1253
01:08:02.743 --> 01:08:03.627
No.
1254
01:08:06.330 --> 01:08:08.131
But I have played H.O.R.S.E.
1255
01:08:08.132 --> 01:08:09.666
Okay, okay.
1256
01:08:11.552 --> 01:08:12.719
Okay.
1257
01:08:15.089 --> 01:08:17.641
Oh! No!
1258
01:08:17.642 --> 01:08:22.146
"H" for you, my friend.
What are you doing?
1259
01:08:22.146 --> 01:08:26.016
We're playing strip H.O.R.S.E.
Is there another kind?
1260
01:08:26.017 --> 01:08:28.019
There's the kind
where you keep your clothes on.
1261
01:08:28.019 --> 01:08:32.156
What's fun about that? All right. "H."
1262
01:08:33.524 --> 01:08:35.442
Backboard.
1263
01:08:37.161 --> 01:08:39.163
Uh-huh.
1264
01:08:39.163 --> 01:08:40.447
Okay. Okay.
1265
01:08:47.121 --> 01:08:49.423
Oh, my God!
1266
01:09:00.468 --> 01:09:01.469
Nope.
1267
01:09:06.190 --> 01:09:07.641
Yeah!
1268
01:09:07.642 --> 01:09:09.560
Panty time!
1269
01:09:12.146 --> 01:09:14.148
Come on!
1270
01:09:24.742 --> 01:09:26.543
That was close.
That's an "H."
1271
01:09:29.797 --> 01:09:32.800
This is not fair.
1272
01:09:32.800 --> 01:09:35.969
I miss one shot,
and I'm almost totally naked.
1273
01:09:36.971 --> 01:09:38.589
Well, that's the game.
1274
01:09:38.589 --> 01:09:41.091
Well, the game is changing.
1275
01:09:41.092 --> 01:09:42.893
It's now one-on-one.
1276
01:09:49.650 --> 01:09:51.485
This way. Let's go, baby.
1277
01:09:53.738 --> 01:09:55.072
Come get it.
1278
01:09:55.072 --> 01:09:56.907
Okay. Let's go.
1279
01:10:00.411 --> 01:10:02.413
♪ Here we go, here we go
Satellite radio
1280
01:10:02.413 --> 01:10:04.114
♪ Y'all getting hit
with boom boom
1281
01:10:04.115 --> 01:10:06.033
♪ Beats so big
I'm stepping on leprechauns
1282
01:10:06.033 --> 01:10:07.834
♪ Shittin' on y'all
with the boom boom
1283
01:10:07.835 --> 01:10:09.786
♪ Shittin' on y'all
with the boom boom
1284
01:10:09.787 --> 01:10:11.672
♪ Shittin' on
y'all with the... ♪
1285
01:10:28.222 --> 01:10:29.773
ALLY: Oh, my God.
1286
01:10:29.774 --> 01:10:31.275
I can't believe it.
1287
01:10:31.275 --> 01:10:33.777
I think that dress
is gonna look good on him.
1288
01:10:33.778 --> 01:10:35.279
It's a good thing
you play the guitar,
1289
01:10:35.279 --> 01:10:36.780
because you suck
at basketball.
1290
01:10:38.783 --> 01:10:40.785
Well, you can't be
good at everything. It just wouldn't be fair.
1291
01:10:41.152 --> 01:10:43.654
And I can't believe
that you can play Lionel Richie!
1292
01:10:44.155 --> 01:10:45.656
I can play a lot of things.
1293
01:10:45.656 --> 01:10:48.909
So, how come you
don't make a living at it? You're really good.
1294
01:10:48.909 --> 01:10:51.795
Ah, I want
to play my own music.
1295
01:10:52.163 --> 01:10:54.165
Don't you worry
about paying the rent?
1296
01:10:54.165 --> 01:10:56.167
I don't love marketing, but...
1297
01:10:56.167 --> 01:10:57.668
What do you love?
1298
01:11:02.173 --> 01:11:04.341
I love making those
freaky little sculptures,
1299
01:11:04.842 --> 01:11:06.343
but I'm not gonna
make any money at that.
1300
01:11:06.344 --> 01:11:09.347
How do you know?
You've never tried.
1301
01:11:09.347 --> 01:11:13.351
I've never jumped
into the harbor, either.
1302
01:11:13.351 --> 01:11:15.853
Doesn't mean that
it's a good idea.
1303
01:11:15.853 --> 01:11:16.854
I think it's a great idea.
1304
01:11:16.854 --> 01:11:20.858
I think it's the best idea
you've ever had.
1305
01:11:22.360 --> 01:11:24.362
No.
Yes.
1306
01:11:24.362 --> 01:11:25.863
No.
Yes!
1307
01:11:25.863 --> 01:11:27.531
No.
Yes!
1308
01:11:27.531 --> 01:11:28.949
We are gonna jump in the harbor!
1309
01:11:28.949 --> 01:11:30.450
No. No. No. No.
Let's go.
1310
01:11:30.868 --> 01:11:32.870
God! No!
1311
01:11:32.870 --> 01:11:33.871
Let's do it!
1312
01:11:54.942 --> 01:11:56.944
Holy fuck,
this is fucking cold!
1313
01:11:56.944 --> 01:11:58.946
This is the worst idea
you've ever had!
1314
01:12:12.076 --> 01:12:15.079
I can't believe you
finally got me naked.
1315
01:12:15.079 --> 01:12:16.914
Well, my shirt
does look good on you.
1316
01:12:16.914 --> 01:12:18.665
Good, 'cause I'm keeping it.
1317
01:12:18.666 --> 01:12:21.468
No, you're not.
I can't afford to lose any more shirts.
1318
01:12:21.469 --> 01:12:23.471
Women are always
stealing my shirts.
1319
01:12:23.471 --> 01:12:25.473
Women aren't always
stealing your shirts.
1320
01:12:25.806 --> 01:12:27.724
They're borrowing them,
fully intending to give them back,
1321
01:12:27.725 --> 01:12:30.227
but you never call.
1322
01:12:30.227 --> 01:12:32.395
So, you're saying
that if I have fewer one-night stands,
1323
01:12:32.897 --> 01:12:34.431
I'll have more shirts?
1324
01:12:34.432 --> 01:12:35.933
I think so.
1325
01:12:40.104 --> 01:12:41.405
Well, then, that settles it.
1326
01:12:43.324 --> 01:12:44.692
I'm changing my ways,
1327
01:12:45.192 --> 01:12:47.527
and I'm not gonna
lose any more shirts.
1328
01:12:49.497 --> 01:12:50.748
Really?
1329
01:12:51.115 --> 01:12:52.116
Really.
1330
01:12:54.452 --> 01:12:58.456
In fact, I think I'm gonna
take this one back right now.
1331
01:12:58.456 --> 01:12:59.957
Good for you.
1332
01:13:24.815 --> 01:13:25.816
Wait.
1333
01:13:25.816 --> 01:13:26.817
It's okay, I have one.
1334
01:13:26.817 --> 01:13:28.318
No.
1335
01:13:29.320 --> 01:13:31.121
I have to slow down.
1336
01:13:33.491 --> 01:13:36.494
Okay. Okay, that's fine.
1337
01:13:40.080 --> 01:13:44.084
What if I just put
it in a little bit? It won't even count.
1338
01:13:44.084 --> 01:13:46.086
Eileen says it counts.
1339
01:13:49.089 --> 01:13:52.092
What about, like, that much?
That's nothing.
1340
01:13:52.092 --> 01:13:54.094
You won't even feel it.
1341
01:13:56.397 --> 01:13:59.016
Okay. I understand.
That's fine.
1342
01:14:01.018 --> 01:14:03.353
But I am gonna
keep kissing you.
1343
01:14:35.628 --> 01:14:36.629
Hi.
1344
01:14:36.629 --> 01:14:38.464
Hi.
1345
01:14:38.465 --> 01:14:41.251
You look so beautiful
in the morning.
1346
01:14:42.168 --> 01:14:44.170
I do?
Yeah.
1347
01:14:52.479 --> 01:14:53.763
How's this for
a slice of awesome?
1348
01:14:54.180 --> 01:14:57.483
Mexican wrestling
on pay-per-view all day.
1349
01:14:57.484 --> 01:14:58.985
I will run to the store
1350
01:14:58.985 --> 01:15:01.237
and get eggs and salsa
for huevos rancheros,
1351
01:15:01.571 --> 01:15:05.074
you stay here and
whip up margaritas. Sound good?
1352
01:15:06.075 --> 01:15:09.661
Shit! I can't! Oh, my God!
1353
01:15:10.663 --> 01:15:11.664
Cereal?
1354
01:15:12.115 --> 01:15:13.916
No! I'm meeting Daisy.
1355
01:15:14.284 --> 01:15:17.837
I'm already late.
She hates it when I'm late. Oh, no.
1356
01:15:40.560 --> 01:15:42.061
Whoo!
1357
01:15:42.061 --> 01:15:45.230
I can't believe
Eddie didn't want to pick out these place cards.
1358
01:15:45.231 --> 01:15:47.733
Oh, no, no, no. He has
terrible taste in fonts.
1359
01:15:47.734 --> 01:15:49.702
Have you convinced Mom
to come to the wedding yet?
1360
01:15:49.702 --> 01:15:50.703
No, and I don't have to,
1361
01:15:50.703 --> 01:15:53.155
because you are gonna
talk Dad out of coming.
1362
01:15:53.156 --> 01:15:54.991
I am?
Let's face it.
1363
01:15:55.408 --> 01:15:57.410
Dad's only coming because
he thinks that he has to.
1364
01:15:57.410 --> 01:16:00.579
So, why not just
let him off the hook and make everybody happy?
1365
01:16:00.580 --> 01:16:02.582
It's not a bad idea.
1366
01:16:02.582 --> 01:16:05.585
Oh, great! You guys can
cast the final vote. We've narrowed it down.
1367
01:16:05.585 --> 01:16:09.338
To this one,
or this nearly identical one.
1368
01:16:09.339 --> 01:16:10.923
Monotype Corsiva.
1369
01:16:10.924 --> 01:16:12.558
How do you know that?
I'm married.
1370
01:16:12.976 --> 01:16:15.812
EILEEN: Okay, are we done?
Because we want to hear about D.C.
1371
01:16:16.179 --> 01:16:17.730
Did you go to
the Holocaust Museum?
1372
01:16:17.730 --> 01:16:19.732
No, but that would
have been more fun.
1373
01:16:19.732 --> 01:16:21.567
So, there were
no sparks with Tom?
1374
01:16:21.568 --> 01:16:25.021
Tom? What happened to Jake?
I thought you were looking for Jake.
1375
01:16:25.488 --> 01:16:28.491
Jake's in Africa
and Tom's gay, but it's okay,
1376
01:16:28.491 --> 01:16:30.993
because Colin is gonna be
my date for the wedding.
1377
01:16:31.494 --> 01:16:33.529
Is that the guy
who answered your cell phone
1378
01:16:33.529 --> 01:16:36.281
and got mad at me
for waking him up at 2:00 in the afternoon?
1379
01:16:36.282 --> 01:16:38.117
Yeah. I took
his phone by mistake.
1380
01:16:38.534 --> 01:16:40.752
You invited Colin?
Your rapey neighbor?
1381
01:16:40.753 --> 01:16:42.004
Do we call him that?
1382
01:16:42.338 --> 01:16:44.873
Just behind your back.
1383
01:16:44.874 --> 01:16:48.878
Okay. Well, let's stop
because he's actually a pretty good guy.
1384
01:16:48.878 --> 01:16:50.346
DAISY: Oh, Ally.
1385
01:16:50.346 --> 01:16:51.347
What?
1386
01:16:51.848 --> 01:16:52.849
You slept with him!
1387
01:16:52.849 --> 01:16:54.350
Oh, no!
1388
01:16:54.350 --> 01:16:57.136
I did not. I didn't.
1389
01:16:57.136 --> 01:16:58.470
EILEEN: Good. Don't.
1390
01:16:58.471 --> 01:16:59.972
Because he's not
the kind of guy you end up with.
1391
01:16:59.973 --> 01:17:02.525
He's the kind of guy you date
before the guy you end up with.
1392
01:17:02.525 --> 01:17:04.527
How do you know?
You haven't even met him.
1393
01:17:04.527 --> 01:17:06.729
I don't have to meet him.
I've had sex with him.
1394
01:17:06.729 --> 01:17:09.231
Except his name is Doug,
and he's a fucking liar!
1395
01:17:09.732 --> 01:17:12.868
Well, I have met him,
and he is dangerously sexy.
1396
01:17:12.869 --> 01:17:16.789
And if he wanted to come in
through the back door, you'd let him.
1397
01:17:16.789 --> 01:17:18.073
Don't let him, Ally.
1398
01:17:18.458 --> 01:17:20.460
You guys don't need to worry.
1399
01:17:20.460 --> 01:17:22.462
I'm not going to
let him in any door.
1400
01:17:22.462 --> 01:17:24.964
He's just a friend
who's doing me a favor.
1401
01:17:52.408 --> 01:17:54.410
COLIN: Honey, I'm home.
1402
01:17:56.112 --> 01:18:00.116
So, I TiVo-ed
Mexican wrestling for you and I cooked.
1403
01:18:00.116 --> 01:18:03.119
They're supposed
to be taquitos, they look like cannolis,
1404
01:18:03.119 --> 01:18:06.622
but they kind of taste
like egg rolls.
1405
01:18:06.622 --> 01:18:09.007
What are you doing?
Are you working on the diner? All right.
1406
01:18:10.510 --> 01:18:12.512
Don't let me bug you.
1407
01:18:18.851 --> 01:18:21.854
Hey, so,
just out of curiosity,
1408
01:18:21.854 --> 01:18:24.356
did you ever hear
anything from Jake?
1409
01:18:24.857 --> 01:18:26.141
Nope.
1410
01:18:28.644 --> 01:18:31.530
Really?
Not a phone call? Nothing?
1411
01:18:31.981 --> 01:18:33.482
Nope.
1412
01:18:36.486 --> 01:18:38.488
Okay, well,
1413
01:18:38.488 --> 01:18:42.241
I'm kind of busy right now,
so I guess I'll just see you later.
1414
01:18:43.543 --> 01:18:45.044
Shit! Ally, wait.
1415
01:18:45.044 --> 01:18:46.545
Wait, wait.
Just go.
1416
01:18:46.546 --> 01:18:48.047
I don't want to
hear any more lies.
1417
01:18:48.047 --> 01:18:49.548
All right, yes.
Jake is back in town
1418
01:18:49.549 --> 01:18:52.084
and I do have his number,
but I didn't think that mattered now.
1419
01:18:52.468 --> 01:18:53.836
Would you please just go?
1420
01:18:53.836 --> 01:18:55.337
What about last night?
1421
01:18:55.338 --> 01:18:57.340
I think we should just forget
about last night.
1422
01:18:57.840 --> 01:18:59.641
Because of Jake?
No.
1423
01:19:01.477 --> 01:19:05.514
Because you're
not the kind of guy I'm supposed to end up with.
1424
01:19:06.849 --> 01:19:08.233
What kind of guy am I, Ally?
1425
01:19:11.237 --> 01:19:12.738
You're the kind
of guy you date
1426
01:19:12.739 --> 01:19:14.240
before you meet
the guy you end up with,
1427
01:19:14.240 --> 01:19:15.608
and I've already
dated 20 of you.
1428
01:19:21.614 --> 01:19:23.282
So, you're gonna try
and make it work with Jake,
1429
01:19:23.282 --> 01:19:24.783
a guy you haven't
seen in years,
1430
01:19:24.784 --> 01:19:26.702
just so you don't go
over the number 20?
1431
01:19:26.702 --> 01:19:28.203
It's not just
about a number anymore, okay?
1432
01:19:28.704 --> 01:19:29.504
Well, then what is it?
1433
01:19:29.789 --> 01:19:30.539
It's what I want!
1434
01:19:30.873 --> 01:19:32.174
You don't know
what you want, Ally.
1435
01:19:32.675 --> 01:19:34.843
You're so busy trying to be
what everyone else wants you to be,
1436
01:19:34.844 --> 01:19:35.678
you don't know who you are.
1437
01:19:36.095 --> 01:19:38.597
At least I have
relationships.
1438
01:19:38.598 --> 01:19:41.100
You can't even
hang out with a woman for 24 hours
1439
01:19:41.100 --> 01:19:41.934
without sleeping with her.
1440
01:19:42.351 --> 01:19:44.219
That was true until I met you.
1441
01:19:47.690 --> 01:19:52.227
Well, I'm sure that
if we had slept together, you'd be long gone by now,
1442
01:19:52.228 --> 01:19:53.729
because that's
who you are, Colin,
1443
01:19:53.729 --> 01:19:55.731
and that's who
you'll always be.
1444
01:19:58.701 --> 01:20:00.202
All right.
Whatever you say, Ally.
1445
01:20:00.203 --> 01:20:02.205
You obviously have
it all figured out.
1446
01:20:05.625 --> 01:20:07.627
And I do know who I am!
1447
01:20:07.627 --> 01:20:09.128
I'm someone who's
not gonna let
1448
01:20:09.128 --> 01:20:11.630
another undeserving
asshole into my heart!
1449
01:20:11.631 --> 01:20:13.633
Or my vagina!
1450
01:20:13.633 --> 01:20:15.501
MALE TENANT: Shut the fuck up!
1451
01:20:15.501 --> 01:20:16.502
Stop fucking your dog!
1452
01:20:43.383 --> 01:20:46.636
Hi, Jake Adams, it's Ally.
1453
01:20:47.137 --> 01:20:50.640
Ally Darling from high school.
Go, Vikings.
1454
01:20:51.141 --> 01:20:53.059
Um...
1455
01:20:53.059 --> 01:20:54.560
I came across your number,
1456
01:20:54.561 --> 01:20:59.065
and I thought, "Wow,
I should really call Jake
1457
01:20:59.065 --> 01:21:04.070
"and leave him a long,
rambling message on his voice mail."
1458
01:21:05.822 --> 01:21:09.325
Anyway,
if you're feeling up to it,
1459
01:21:09.325 --> 01:21:11.827
you can give me
a call anytime.
1460
01:21:11.828 --> 01:21:14.330
My number is 617-55...
1461
01:21:15.331 --> 01:21:19.335
Oh, my God, I just hiccupped.
I'm sorry.
1462
01:21:19.836 --> 01:21:21.504
617-55...
1463
01:21:23.006 --> 01:21:25.008
All right. Okay...
1464
01:21:25.008 --> 01:21:27.927
My number is 617-555-0192.
Okay, bye.
1465
01:21:33.016 --> 01:21:36.019
Well, who doesn't
call that girl back?
1466
01:21:43.059 --> 01:21:44.276
Not again.
1467
01:21:44.277 --> 01:21:46.279
Who's the surprise
guest this time?
1468
01:21:46.279 --> 01:21:47.480
I was supposed to
have lunch with Dad
1469
01:21:47.480 --> 01:21:48.981
to tell him that he
didn't have to come to the wedding,
1470
01:21:48.982 --> 01:21:50.566
but then he said he was
gonna bring his girlfriend.
1471
01:21:50.567 --> 01:21:52.569
Jacinda?
Yeah.
1472
01:21:52.569 --> 01:21:53.953
And I just couldn't
have that conversation with him in front of her.
1473
01:21:53.953 --> 01:21:56.455
So, I just thought, you know,
we could do it together.
1474
01:21:56.456 --> 01:22:00.293
I am never meeting you
for another meal ever again.
1475
01:22:00.794 --> 01:22:03.296
You don't mean that.
1476
01:22:03.296 --> 01:22:05.548
Ally, I didn't
know you were coming. What a nice surprise.
1477
01:22:06.049 --> 01:22:07.300
Hi.
I'm Daisy.
1478
01:22:07.300 --> 01:22:10.136
Got all my girls here.
I see that you've got one of these, too.
1479
01:22:10.136 --> 01:22:12.721
I got a couple
for the two of us, so we can text and tweet.
1480
01:22:12.722 --> 01:22:15.975
You should
follow me on Twitter, "VeryTerry3."
1481
01:22:15.975 --> 01:22:17.977
Or we could just
talk right now.
1482
01:22:17.977 --> 01:22:20.813
LOL.
1483
01:22:20.814 --> 01:22:24.267
He is so excited
about your wedding. It's all he can text about.
1484
01:22:24.267 --> 01:22:27.270
I can't wait for everyone
to meet my lady.
1485
01:22:28.488 --> 01:22:30.490
Oh, you're coming
to the wedding, too?
1486
01:22:30.490 --> 01:22:33.493
That's great. That's so great.
1487
01:22:33.493 --> 01:22:34.994
Ally, isn't that so great?
1488
01:22:34.994 --> 01:22:36.996
It's great.
It's so great.
1489
01:22:37.747 --> 01:22:38.748
Oh!
1490
01:22:41.117 --> 01:22:42.368
Excuse me for a second.
1491
01:22:43.203 --> 01:22:44.704
Don't go.
1492
01:22:44.704 --> 01:22:45.705
We are just fine.
1493
01:22:49.042 --> 01:22:51.177
Hold up. Ashton is
getting his car washed.
1494
01:22:51.177 --> 01:22:52.678
Nuh-uh.
Lookit.
1495
01:22:57.800 --> 01:23:00.052
♪ I am a human rocket
1496
01:23:00.053 --> 01:23:02.388
♪ On a mission of deployment
1497
01:23:02.388 --> 01:23:04.556
♪ I've been cocked and loaded
1498
01:23:04.557 --> 01:23:06.692
♪ Ready for the culmination
1499
01:23:06.693 --> 01:23:09.362
♪ I am a human missile
1500
01:23:09.362 --> 01:23:11.113
♪ Guided by a secret agenda
1501
01:23:11.114 --> 01:23:13.616
♪ That commands
my every thoughts and deeds
1502
01:23:14.117 --> 01:23:16.068
♪ And wills me on my way
1503
01:23:20.490 --> 01:23:22.492
♪ I am a human rocket
1504
01:23:22.992 --> 01:23:25.294
♪ On a mission of redemption
1505
01:23:25.295 --> 01:23:27.163
♪ I've been cocked and loaded
1506
01:23:27.163 --> 01:23:29.632
♪ Primed by everything I know
1507
01:23:29.632 --> 01:23:32.134
♪ I am a human missile
1508
01:23:32.135 --> 01:23:34.003
♪ Guided by a secret voice
1509
01:23:34.003 --> 01:23:36.555
♪ That commands
my every thoughts and deeds
1510
01:23:36.556 --> 01:23:38.975
♪ And wills me
on my righteous way ♪
1511
01:24:38.618 --> 01:24:40.119
JAKE: All right. Great.
1512
01:24:41.621 --> 01:24:42.905
Ally.
1513
01:24:43.706 --> 01:24:44.707
Jake.
1514
01:24:46.326 --> 01:24:48.711
My brothers actually
went more into the business side of things,
1515
01:24:48.711 --> 01:24:51.714
and when my dad asked me
to run the foundation,
1516
01:24:51.714 --> 01:24:54.717
it was sort of
more of a natural fit for me, you know?
1517
01:24:54.717 --> 01:24:57.219
I've always been better
at giving away money versus making it.
1518
01:24:57.720 --> 01:24:59.304
I'm rambling.
I can hear myself totally rambling.
1519
01:24:59.305 --> 01:25:00.923
No. No, no, not at all.
I am. I am.
1520
01:25:00.923 --> 01:25:03.425
I've been doing it all day.
Kind of, but it's interesting.
1521
01:25:03.426 --> 01:25:05.394
Hey, what do...
I mean, what about you?
1522
01:25:05.395 --> 01:25:07.480
Last I heard you were
in marketing, right?
1523
01:25:07.480 --> 01:25:11.484
Yeah. I'm actually
in between jobs right now.
1524
01:25:11.484 --> 01:25:12.735
Well, listen, say the word.
1525
01:25:13.236 --> 01:25:14.737
I mean,
I can get you an interview over at Adams in two seconds.
1526
01:25:14.737 --> 01:25:16.488
Oh, thank you.
1527
01:25:16.489 --> 01:25:17.323
But you know what?
I'm actually...
1528
01:25:17.323 --> 01:25:18.824
I'm thinking
about making a change.
1529
01:25:18.825 --> 01:25:21.494
A change? Oh, yeah?
What would you do?
1530
01:25:22.996 --> 01:25:25.498
I make these clay sculptures.
1531
01:25:25.999 --> 01:25:29.335
They're sort of
these freaky little urban scenes.
1532
01:25:29.335 --> 01:25:32.421
They're kind of
hard to explain. I'd really have to show you.
1533
01:25:32.922 --> 01:25:34.206
I'd love to see them.
1534
01:25:35.625 --> 01:25:37.126
Really?
1535
01:25:37.126 --> 01:25:39.011
They're in my shower.
1536
01:25:40.513 --> 01:25:42.348
Then I guess we're done here.
1537
01:25:48.271 --> 01:25:50.773
See. This is where they dry.
1538
01:25:50.773 --> 01:25:52.775
Wow. They really
are in your shower.
1539
01:25:52.775 --> 01:25:54.276
Yep.
1540
01:26:11.794 --> 01:26:14.079
ALLY: Did I tell you
that he speaks four different languages,
1541
01:26:14.080 --> 01:26:15.998
but he's so not
obnoxious about it?
1542
01:26:15.998 --> 01:26:20.002
And he's still so
goddamn handsome, and he smells so fucking good.
1543
01:26:20.002 --> 01:26:22.004
It's crazy.
1544
01:26:22.004 --> 01:26:24.506
He's taking me to a gala
at the Institute of Contemporary Art,
1545
01:26:24.507 --> 01:26:26.509
and then I think
we're going to go...
1546
01:26:26.509 --> 01:26:29.011
Whoa.
That's not your dress.
1547
01:26:29.512 --> 01:26:32.014
Yeah. Yeah, I know, I just...
1548
01:26:32.014 --> 01:26:34.566
Yeah,
I just like this one better, 'cause there's just...
1549
01:26:34.567 --> 01:26:37.570
You know,
it's more comfortable. There's just more room to...
1550
01:26:37.570 --> 01:26:41.907
To eat and to move, and to...
To dance.
1551
01:26:41.908 --> 01:26:43.192
Okay.
1552
01:26:43.192 --> 01:26:45.194
I couldn't breathe
in my other dress!
1553
01:26:45.194 --> 01:26:48.614
A bride should
be able to breathe in her own fucking dress!
1554
01:26:48.614 --> 01:26:52.618
Sorry, I just am feeling
really stressed out right now
1555
01:26:52.618 --> 01:26:56.755
because I don't know how
I'm going to convince Mom
1556
01:26:56.756 --> 01:26:58.674
to come to my wedding,
1557
01:26:58.674 --> 01:27:01.677
because our dad
is bringing our new mommy,
1558
01:27:01.677 --> 01:27:03.178
and she's not...
Stop.
1559
01:27:03.179 --> 01:27:04.680
I will go with you
to talk to Mom,
1560
01:27:04.680 --> 01:27:07.683
and you don't even
have to trick me. Okay?
1561
01:27:07.683 --> 01:27:11.186
Now, are you sure
you can breathe in this dress?
1562
01:27:12.688 --> 01:27:14.690
Okay, then do that.
1563
01:27:17.276 --> 01:27:18.610
ALLY: It's really not
gonna be that bad.
1564
01:27:18.611 --> 01:27:21.113
We're gonna loosen her up.
We're gonna ease into it.
1565
01:27:21.114 --> 01:27:22.615
It's gonna be great.
1566
01:27:22.615 --> 01:27:24.400
If you say so.
1567
01:27:25.201 --> 01:27:26.702
Mom?
1568
01:27:29.122 --> 01:27:30.406
I don't believe you!
1569
01:27:30.406 --> 01:27:31.907
When were you planning
to tell me about all this?
1570
01:27:33.126 --> 01:27:34.130
Hmm?
1571
01:27:34.130 --> 01:27:36.132
Uh... Now?
1572
01:27:36.132 --> 01:27:37.633
That's why we're here, Mom.
1573
01:27:37.634 --> 01:27:40.753
I have to read
about it in a magazine?
1574
01:27:40.754 --> 01:27:42.589
You and Jake Adams.
1575
01:27:44.057 --> 01:27:45.508
Are you an item?
1576
01:27:47.010 --> 01:27:47.927
Yes?
1577
01:27:49.229 --> 01:27:51.431
Did you just squeal, Mom?
1578
01:27:51.431 --> 01:27:54.734
I don't know.
I'm out of my body right now.
1579
01:27:55.235 --> 01:27:57.353
Is it serious?
1580
01:27:57.354 --> 01:27:59.656
It could be,
but we're taking it slow.
1581
01:28:00.073 --> 01:28:01.574
Do you really
have that luxury?
1582
01:28:02.025 --> 01:28:03.526
I want to make sure
that it's right.
1583
01:28:03.526 --> 01:28:06.161
Oh, it doesn't get
any more right than Jake Adams.
1584
01:28:06.162 --> 01:28:09.165
This is your life, Ally,
don't get creative.
1585
01:28:09.165 --> 01:28:11.667
When I saw you two
in that magazine,
1586
01:28:11.668 --> 01:28:14.170
I went and found
some old photographs.
1587
01:28:15.588 --> 01:28:17.089
Just look at this.
1588
01:28:19.342 --> 01:28:21.344
I knew
he was the one.
1589
01:28:21.344 --> 01:28:23.596
Aw.
1590
01:28:24.047 --> 01:28:27.550
Tell me, Ally,
is he gonna be your date to the wedding?
1591
01:28:29.519 --> 01:28:31.020
Is he, Ally?
1592
01:28:35.525 --> 01:28:36.893
Yes.
1593
01:28:37.394 --> 01:28:38.978
Oh!
1594
01:28:38.978 --> 01:28:41.480
Oh, I got to get
the seating chart.
1595
01:28:41.481 --> 01:28:43.616
So, you're still
gonna come to the wedding,
1596
01:28:43.616 --> 01:28:45.618
even though Dad's
gonna be there, too?
1597
01:28:45.618 --> 01:28:46.869
Of course, darling.
1598
01:28:47.237 --> 01:28:49.489
My baby only
gets married once.
1599
01:28:49.489 --> 01:28:50.656
Right?
1600
01:28:52.125 --> 01:28:54.127
I am so proud of my girls.
1601
01:28:57.213 --> 01:28:59.215
Seating chart. Seating chart.
1602
01:28:59.215 --> 01:29:00.716
Where's the little
seating chart?
1603
01:29:01.217 --> 01:29:03.219
Do we tell her
about Jacinda?
1604
01:29:03.219 --> 01:29:06.222
No. I think we quit
while we're ahead.
1605
01:29:06.222 --> 01:29:08.224
Bye, Mom.
Bye, Mom.
1606
01:29:08.224 --> 01:29:09.592
What?
1607
01:29:09.592 --> 01:29:11.093
♪ ...and get you drunk
1608
01:29:11.094 --> 01:29:15.098
♪ So I can have
my wicked way with you
1609
01:29:15.098 --> 01:29:17.100
♪ I'm just being honest
1610
01:29:17.100 --> 01:29:22.271
♪ 'Cause I know
the other guys are thinking just the same way too
1611
01:29:25.442 --> 01:29:27.944
I really love
Japan.
1612
01:29:28.445 --> 01:29:30.246
Really?
1613
01:29:32.916 --> 01:29:34.500
Are those
mini cheeseburgers? Yes, they are.
1614
01:29:34.501 --> 01:29:36.503
May I? Thank you.
1615
01:29:38.004 --> 01:29:39.505
You didn't want one?
1616
01:29:39.506 --> 01:29:42.509
No, I'm okay. Thank you.
1617
01:29:42.509 --> 01:29:46.429
Mmm. These are excellent
mini cheeseburgers.
1618
01:29:46.429 --> 01:29:48.764
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
1619
01:29:50.600 --> 01:29:54.604
♪ Show me some skin
I might bite it
1620
01:29:54.604 --> 01:29:58.608
♪ I wanna have
my wicked way with you
1621
01:30:02.612 --> 01:30:08.117
♪ So I'm not gonna come over
and meet your mom and dad
1622
01:30:08.117 --> 01:30:10.619
♪ They know that I was bad
1623
01:30:10.620 --> 01:30:13.623
♪ I'm just thinking
of three hours or more
1624
01:30:14.123 --> 01:30:18.127
♪ So I can have
my wicked way with you
1625
01:30:19.913 --> 01:30:24.500
♪ My wicked way with you ♪
1626
01:30:31.841 --> 01:30:33.976
Colin, hi.
1627
01:30:33.977 --> 01:30:35.511
Hi.
1628
01:30:35.512 --> 01:30:39.516
Fancy meeting you here,
dressed all fancy.
1629
01:30:39.516 --> 01:30:40.817
Where you off to?
1630
01:30:42.101 --> 01:30:43.602
A wedding.
1631
01:30:43.603 --> 01:30:46.272
You, too, right?
Today's Daisy's big day.
1632
01:30:47.273 --> 01:30:49.275
Yeah.
1633
01:30:49.275 --> 01:30:53.279
Wow. You're going
to a wedding, too. That's weird.
1634
01:30:53.780 --> 01:30:54.747
Whose wedding?
1635
01:30:56.749 --> 01:30:58.617
Nobody you know.
1636
01:30:58.618 --> 01:31:01.120
Oh.
1637
01:31:01.120 --> 01:31:04.840
Is it like
a date or something? Are you seeing somebody?
1638
01:31:06.843 --> 01:31:09.345
Don't worry about it, Ally.
1639
01:31:16.352 --> 01:31:18.554
Don't drink
too much champagne.
1640
01:31:44.380 --> 01:31:46.215
Hey, is my hair
too high?
1641
01:31:46.633 --> 01:31:47.634
Oh, no, honey.
It's perfect.
1642
01:31:48.134 --> 01:31:49.135
JAMIE: Is it going on?
1643
01:31:49.135 --> 01:31:50.136
The dress doesn't fit.
1644
01:31:50.136 --> 01:31:51.637
Okay.
Why isn't it zipped?
1645
01:31:51.638 --> 01:31:53.473
Can I get some help here?
1646
01:31:53.473 --> 01:31:56.008
Where's my
Croissan'Wich?
1647
01:31:56.009 --> 01:31:57.010
Did somebody eat
my Croissan'Wich?
1648
01:31:57.510 --> 01:31:59.512
No, honey. Nobody did.
You just relax, okay?
1649
01:31:59.512 --> 01:32:01.263
Katie, Jamie,
find Daisy's Croissan'Wich.
1650
01:32:01.264 --> 01:32:03.065
Okay. On it.
Got it. Okay.
1651
01:32:04.067 --> 01:32:05.068
Okay, listen,
1652
01:32:05.068 --> 01:32:06.519
I don't want
anyone to panic but...
1653
01:32:06.519 --> 01:32:07.269
What's happening?
1654
01:32:07.654 --> 01:32:08.655
The harpist isn't coming.
1655
01:32:08.655 --> 01:32:10.273
I had a harpist?
1656
01:32:10.273 --> 01:32:12.108
She broke her finger
during the philharmonic softball league playoffs,
1657
01:32:12.108 --> 01:32:14.610
and given that this is
one of the busiest wedding weekends of the year,
1658
01:32:14.611 --> 01:32:16.195
all the other
harpists are booked.
1659
01:32:16.195 --> 01:32:18.197
Oh, Christ.
Why is this happening to me?
1660
01:32:18.197 --> 01:32:20.199
KEVIN: I got a list
of all the other weddings happening in the city
1661
01:32:20.199 --> 01:32:21.700
and found a replacement
who can be here
1662
01:32:21.701 --> 01:32:23.419
as soon as her
first wedding is over.
1663
01:32:23.419 --> 01:32:27.089
And if she doesn't show,
I play the horn.
1664
01:32:27.090 --> 01:32:28.925
Now let's get this
girl married, huh?
1665
01:32:30.426 --> 01:32:31.927
Daise, I got it.
1666
01:32:56.319 --> 01:32:58.821
OFFICIANT:
Please rise for the bride.
1667
01:33:06.996 --> 01:33:08.998
We are gathered here today
to celebrate the union
1668
01:33:08.998 --> 01:33:12.668
of Daisy Ann Darling
and Edward Michael Vogel.
1669
01:33:12.669 --> 01:33:15.972
Getting to know
Daisy and Eddie has reinforced my belief that,
1670
01:33:16.389 --> 01:33:18.007
while love is universal,
1671
01:33:18.007 --> 01:33:20.509
every couple is unique.
1672
01:33:27.400 --> 01:33:31.187
Daisy Darling,
today I make these vows to you.
1673
01:33:31.187 --> 01:33:33.689
I will never rhyme
"crazy" with "Daisy,"
1674
01:33:35.408 --> 01:33:38.027
even if I mean,
like, "crazy good."
1675
01:33:38.027 --> 01:33:40.412
I will not blow my nose
in the shower.
1676
01:33:42.665 --> 01:33:46.168
I promise to
always consult you before getting a haircut
1677
01:33:46.169 --> 01:33:47.503
and to never grow
a moustache.
1678
01:33:48.955 --> 01:33:50.256
Or a soul patch.
No.
1679
01:33:54.177 --> 01:33:57.463
I will not blame you
for the bad decisions you make in my dreams.
1680
01:34:01.467 --> 01:34:07.473
I will keep an eye
on that suspicious freckle on your back,
1681
01:34:07.473 --> 01:34:11.226
even though I'm
really sure it's nothing.
1682
01:34:11.227 --> 01:34:16.865
And I will not get mad at you
about everything
1683
01:34:16.866 --> 01:34:20.202
when I'm only
really mad at you about one thing.
1684
01:34:24.490 --> 01:34:25.491
OFFICIANT:
By the power vested in me,
1685
01:34:25.491 --> 01:34:27.910
I am happy to pronounce you
husband and wife.
1686
01:34:27.910 --> 01:34:29.411
You may kiss the bride.
1687
01:34:31.247 --> 01:34:37.586
♪ I'm holding a heart
here in my hand
1688
01:34:37.587 --> 01:34:43.509
♪ Hey, hey, hey
1689
01:34:43.509 --> 01:34:48.313
♪ My own work of art
1690
01:34:48.314 --> 01:34:50.733
♪ Here where I stand
1691
01:34:50.733 --> 01:34:56.238
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
1692
01:35:03.079 --> 01:35:07.833
♪ I can see clearly now
The rain is gone
1693
01:35:10.920 --> 01:35:14.290
♪ I can see all obstacles
in my way ♪
1694
01:35:14.290 --> 01:35:16.592
Quite a party.
Yeah, it sure is.
1695
01:35:16.592 --> 01:35:18.927
Hold on.
I have to tweet about this.
1696
01:35:18.928 --> 01:35:20.930
And hi there.
1697
01:35:25.051 --> 01:35:27.553
Your mom always did
have a great laugh.
1698
01:35:27.553 --> 01:35:30.055
I'm just glad she's happy.
1699
01:35:30.056 --> 01:35:32.058
Are you happy?
1700
01:35:32.058 --> 01:35:33.809
Yeah. Of course.
1701
01:35:39.949 --> 01:35:41.734
Your mom only wants
what's best for you, you know.
1702
01:35:41.734 --> 01:35:43.068
I know.
1703
01:35:43.069 --> 01:35:44.453
Unfortunately, she thinks
what's best for you
1704
01:35:44.453 --> 01:35:46.154
is being exactly like her,
1705
01:35:46.155 --> 01:35:47.489
only you're not, Ally.
1706
01:35:47.490 --> 01:35:50.576
You may have her looks,
but you have my rhythm, kid.
1707
01:35:50.877 --> 01:35:52.578
I'm afraid it's
a little offbeat.
1708
01:35:54.046 --> 01:35:57.215
I guess that explains
why she's always disappointed in me.
1709
01:35:57.216 --> 01:36:00.219
I think it's hard
for her to look at you and see so much of me.
1710
01:36:05.591 --> 01:36:09.394
♪ Thanks for the time
1711
01:36:09.395 --> 01:36:11.180
♪ That you've given me
1712
01:36:11.180 --> 01:36:13.565
Uh, may I?
1713
01:36:14.066 --> 01:36:15.567
Why not?
1714
01:36:15.568 --> 01:36:18.070
Thank you. Thank you, sir.
1715
01:36:20.439 --> 01:36:22.908
God, I'm sorry.
I just couldn't slow-dance with your mother.
1716
01:36:23.409 --> 01:36:25.411
No, that's okay.
1717
01:36:27.413 --> 01:36:30.916
I think the last time
we slow-danced was prom night.
1718
01:36:30.917 --> 01:36:33.920
Yeah. Yeah, it was.
I remember that.
1719
01:36:33.920 --> 01:36:35.421
I believe that
was also the night
1720
01:36:35.421 --> 01:36:37.423
where you finally
gave me the honor
1721
01:36:37.423 --> 01:36:40.926
of making you unfit
for every other man in the village.
1722
01:36:42.545 --> 01:36:44.346
Oh, boy.
1723
01:36:44.347 --> 01:36:47.633
♪ You're once, twice
1724
01:36:49.635 --> 01:36:53.021
♪ Three times a lady
1725
01:36:53.022 --> 01:36:56.525
I know this isn't
the ideal place to tell you, but I want to be honest.
1726
01:36:56.525 --> 01:36:58.276
You weren't my first.
1727
01:36:59.562 --> 01:37:00.563
I wasn't?
1728
01:37:00.563 --> 01:37:02.531
No, I'm sorry.
1729
01:37:02.531 --> 01:37:07.319
Well, so you've been
with two guys in your life. Big deal.
1730
01:37:08.821 --> 01:37:11.657
More like two times 10.
1731
01:37:11.657 --> 01:37:17.162
Right.
Like you've had sex with 20 guys. Yuck.
1732
01:37:18.664 --> 01:37:20.165
Gross.
1733
01:37:23.169 --> 01:37:25.671
Well, all right.
I may not have been your first,
1734
01:37:25.671 --> 01:37:29.174
but maybe I'll be your last.
1735
01:37:29.175 --> 01:37:31.677
Why? Are you gonna
rape and kill me?
1736
01:37:31.677 --> 01:37:33.679
No, but I'm gonna kiss you.
1737
01:37:35.147 --> 01:37:38.150
♪ With every beat
1738
01:37:38.651 --> 01:37:43.489
♪ Of my heart
1739
01:37:44.490 --> 01:37:45.491
♪ You're once
1740
01:37:45.491 --> 01:37:46.992
Come with me for a second.
1741
01:37:46.993 --> 01:37:48.444
♪ Twice
1742
01:37:49.996 --> 01:37:53.582
♪ Three times a lady
1743
01:37:54.083 --> 01:37:59.088
So, how does dinner in Milan
and breakfast in Paris sound?
1744
01:37:59.088 --> 01:38:00.589
Starchy.
1745
01:38:00.589 --> 01:38:02.591
I've got to do
a little traveling for the foundation,
1746
01:38:02.591 --> 01:38:04.092
and I'd love it
if you came with me.
1747
01:38:05.594 --> 01:38:07.095
Seriously?
Mmm-hmm.
1748
01:38:07.596 --> 01:38:08.597
For how long?
1749
01:38:09.098 --> 01:38:10.349
Six months.
1750
01:38:10.349 --> 01:38:12.851
I know it sounds
like a long time, but you're in-between jobs
1751
01:38:12.852 --> 01:38:16.939
and your little
sculpture things can wait.
1752
01:38:16.939 --> 01:38:18.390
And if you think
about it,
1753
01:38:18.391 --> 01:38:19.892
the only thing
that's keeping you in Boston is me,
1754
01:38:19.892 --> 01:38:21.193
and I'm leaving.
1755
01:38:23.312 --> 01:38:24.813
It's time.
1756
01:38:27.283 --> 01:38:28.617
Excuse me.
1757
01:38:31.537 --> 01:38:32.788
Thank you.
1758
01:38:32.788 --> 01:38:39.461
♪ And I love you ♪
1759
01:38:43.165 --> 01:38:45.584
Join me.
1760
01:38:45.584 --> 01:38:47.002
Hi, everyone.
1761
01:38:47.003 --> 01:38:48.554
ALL: Hi.
1762
01:38:50.056 --> 01:38:52.975
When Daisy and Eddie
first got together,
1763
01:38:52.975 --> 01:38:56.511
I have to admit I was
a little bit nervous.
1764
01:38:56.512 --> 01:38:58.514
I could tell
that it was serious,
1765
01:38:58.514 --> 01:39:01.517
and I thought that
the closer she got to him,
1766
01:39:02.018 --> 01:39:04.520
the further away
she'd get from me,
1767
01:39:04.854 --> 01:39:07.323
but that didn't happen.
1768
01:39:09.191 --> 01:39:11.693
Not only do I
see more of Daisy,
1769
01:39:11.694 --> 01:39:14.947
I see a happier,
even better Daisy.
1770
01:39:19.618 --> 01:39:21.620
It's like with Eddie she's
1771
01:39:25.624 --> 01:39:26.625
completely herself.
1772
01:39:44.026 --> 01:39:46.528
When you're a big sister,
it's your job
1773
01:39:46.529 --> 01:39:48.781
to teach your
little sister everything.
1774
01:39:50.066 --> 01:39:52.735
How to ride a bike,
1775
01:39:52.735 --> 01:39:54.536
how to lie to your parents.
1776
01:39:55.404 --> 01:39:56.538
How to kiss.
1777
01:39:56.539 --> 01:39:58.240
Not with tongue.
Settle down, Uncle Charlie.
1778
01:40:01.827 --> 01:40:04.329
But I never thought
1779
01:40:06.332 --> 01:40:09.835
about what my little sister
could teach me until right now.
1780
01:40:10.753 --> 01:40:13.806
So, I want to
thank you, Daisy.
1781
01:40:13.806 --> 01:40:16.809
Thank you for teaching me
1782
01:40:18.811 --> 01:40:22.815
that being in love
means being yourself.
1783
01:40:27.319 --> 01:40:29.070
To Daisy and Eddie!
1784
01:40:35.161 --> 01:40:36.662
You were great.
Can we talk?
1785
01:40:36.662 --> 01:40:38.664
Yeah. Absolutely.
1786
01:40:42.001 --> 01:40:43.502
ALL:
♪ That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh
1787
01:40:43.502 --> 01:40:45.787
♪ I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh
1788
01:40:45.788 --> 01:40:47.790
♪ That's the way,
uh-huh, uh-huh
1789
01:40:47.790 --> 01:40:50.125
♪ I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh
1790
01:40:50.126 --> 01:40:51.627
♪ That's the way,
uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
1791
01:40:52.128 --> 01:40:53.129
Oh, shit.
1792
01:40:54.797 --> 01:40:57.299
What's going on?
Are you okay?
1793
01:41:00.302 --> 01:41:04.306
Jake, there
actually is something here in Boston
1794
01:41:04.306 --> 01:41:06.308
that's really
important to me.
1795
01:41:06.308 --> 01:41:10.312
And as much as I want
to travel the world,
1796
01:41:10.312 --> 01:41:12.814
I'm not sure I want
to do it with you.
1797
01:41:12.815 --> 01:41:16.318
Which is insane, I know,
because you're perfect.
1798
01:41:17.319 --> 01:41:19.321
But you're not perfect for me,
1799
01:41:19.321 --> 01:41:22.824
and I don't think
I'm perfect for you.
1800
01:41:23.792 --> 01:41:26.294
I'm so sorry, Jake.
1801
01:41:26.295 --> 01:41:29.298
If I had been honest
with myself earlier,
1802
01:41:29.298 --> 01:41:31.300
or ever,
1803
01:41:31.300 --> 01:41:33.302
I wouldn't have put
you through all this.
1804
01:41:33.302 --> 01:41:37.806
Yeah, well,
that would have been preferable.
1805
01:41:37.806 --> 01:41:40.809
Right. I don't think
I'm gonna stick around for the cake. Excuse me.
1806
01:41:41.810 --> 01:41:43.812
It's really good.
1807
01:41:58.827 --> 01:42:00.195
Okay.
1808
01:42:05.584 --> 01:42:07.919
Where's...
Where's Jake going?
1809
01:42:07.920 --> 01:42:08.870
Sir, champagne?
1810
01:42:09.371 --> 01:42:10.255
ALLY: He's leaving.
1811
01:42:10.256 --> 01:42:13.759
What? In the middle
of the reception? Why?
1812
01:42:13.759 --> 01:42:16.261
Because I never should have
brought him here in the first place.
1813
01:42:17.179 --> 01:42:19.965
You're gonna let him go?
1814
01:42:20.299 --> 01:42:23.051
Oh, Ally, I...
I don't understand you.
1815
01:42:23.052 --> 01:42:26.055
Ally, why?
Why are you doing this?
1816
01:42:26.055 --> 01:42:28.724
Honey, you were
finally happy.
1817
01:42:28.724 --> 01:42:32.194
No! You were finally happy.
1818
01:42:32.194 --> 01:42:34.362
I don't wanna
marry Jake Adams.
1819
01:42:34.363 --> 01:42:36.231
That's not who I am.
Oh, my...
1820
01:42:36.232 --> 01:42:39.235
I'm a jobless whore
who's slept with 20 guys,
1821
01:42:39.735 --> 01:42:44.156
and I want to be with somebody
who appreciates that about me.
1822
01:42:44.156 --> 01:42:47.626
You may not
understand me, Mom, but you don't have to.
1823
01:42:47.626 --> 01:42:49.377
All you have to do
is love me.
1824
01:42:51.880 --> 01:42:55.884
I know that I'm not perfect,
but that's why you have Daisy.
1825
01:42:55.884 --> 01:42:58.386
My dress is too tight
because I'm four months pregnant.
1826
01:43:01.223 --> 01:43:02.557
What?
1827
01:43:02.558 --> 01:43:04.059
What?
1828
01:43:04.059 --> 01:43:05.060
Oh!
1829
01:43:07.563 --> 01:43:08.597
You're pregnant?
1830
01:43:08.597 --> 01:43:11.066
Yes. Now get out of here.
1831
01:43:11.066 --> 01:43:13.068
Thank you.
1832
01:43:13.068 --> 01:43:14.069
Surprise!
1833
01:43:14.570 --> 01:43:18.240
I'm gonna be a grandmother.
I'm gonna be a grandmother.
1834
01:43:23.078 --> 01:43:24.529
All the drinks are
sitting here on your tray.
1835
01:43:25.030 --> 01:43:26.531
What is the matter with you?
Is this too difficult?
1836
01:43:26.532 --> 01:43:28.033
Kevin,
where's that list you had of all the other weddings
1837
01:43:28.033 --> 01:43:29.534
going on in the city today?
It's right here.
1838
01:43:29.535 --> 01:43:30.586
Okay, thank you.
1839
01:43:40.850 --> 01:43:44.353
Goddamn. Damn it!
1840
01:44:02.288 --> 01:44:03.622
Hi.
1841
01:44:03.623 --> 01:44:04.740
♪ Every time I think of you
1842
01:44:04.741 --> 01:44:08.995
♪ I feel shot right through
with a bolt of blue
1843
01:44:08.995 --> 01:44:13.466
♪ It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
1844
01:44:13.466 --> 01:44:15.301
♪ Living a life
that I can't leave behind
1845
01:44:17.971 --> 01:44:21.257
♪ But there's no sense
in telling me
1846
01:44:21.257 --> 01:44:23.259
♪ The wisdom of the fool
won't set you free
1847
01:44:25.145 --> 01:44:27.147
♪ But that's the way
that it goes
1848
01:44:27.147 --> 01:44:29.482
♪ And it's what nobody knows
1849
01:44:29.482 --> 01:44:33.819
♪ Well, every day
my confusion grows
1850
01:44:33.820 --> 01:44:37.406
♪ Every time I see you falling
1851
01:44:37.407 --> 01:44:41.411
♪ I get down on my knees
and pray
1852
01:44:41.411 --> 01:44:45.782
♪ I'm waiting for
that final moment
1853
01:44:46.199 --> 01:44:47.200
Colin!
1854
01:44:58.261 --> 01:45:02.265
♪ I feel fine and I feel good
1855
01:45:02.265 --> 01:45:05.268
♪ I feel like I never should
1856
01:45:05.268 --> 01:45:09.138
♪ Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say
1857
01:45:09.139 --> 01:45:14.144
♪ Why can't we be ourselves
like we were yesterday?
1858
01:45:14.144 --> 01:45:17.947
♪ Every time I see you falling
1859
01:45:17.947 --> 01:45:21.951
♪ I get down on my knees
and pray
1860
01:45:21.951 --> 01:45:26.121
♪ I'm waiting for
that final moment
1861
01:45:26.122 --> 01:45:29.625
♪ You say the words
that I can't say ♪
1862
01:45:35.548 --> 01:45:37.383
Oh, come on!
1863
01:45:38.835 --> 01:45:42.839
Blessed be this union
and may it bear fruit.
1864
01:46:09.115 --> 01:46:11.834
Colin! Colin!
1865
01:46:21.211 --> 01:46:23.096
Blue car, keys are in it.
1866
01:46:46.870 --> 01:46:48.655
MAN: Get the fuck
out of the road!
1867
01:46:48.655 --> 01:46:50.073
Hey, watch it, lady.
1868
01:46:50.573 --> 01:46:52.458
Shut up, you asshole!
1869
01:46:55.161 --> 01:46:57.163
Sorry! I'm sorry!
1870
01:46:57.664 --> 01:46:59.165
I'm sorry!
1871
01:47:13.563 --> 01:47:14.513
Thank you.
1872
01:47:15.014 --> 01:47:17.816
You can help yourself
to some pepperoni.
1873
01:47:23.940 --> 01:47:25.107
Miss, your name?
1874
01:47:27.443 --> 01:47:28.410
Uh...
1875
01:47:29.412 --> 01:47:30.413
I...
1876
01:47:35.618 --> 01:47:38.954
I'm... I'm sorry.
1877
01:47:38.955 --> 01:47:41.007
COLIN: Hi, everyone.
Hope you're all having a good time tonight.
1878
01:47:41.007 --> 01:47:42.675
I know we are.
1879
01:47:42.675 --> 01:47:45.961
This next song
is a local band. Hope you enjoy it.
1880
01:47:52.769 --> 01:47:54.771
♪ I don't mind you
coming here
1881
01:47:56.356 --> 01:47:58.358
♪ And wasting all my time
1882
01:47:59.893 --> 01:48:02.682
♪ 'Cause when you're
standing oh, so near
1883
01:48:03.984 --> 01:48:06.269
♪ I kind of lose my mind
1884
01:48:06.269 --> 01:48:07.270
This is bullshit.
1885
01:48:07.771 --> 01:48:10.273
Why didn't I just wait for him
at his apartment?
1886
01:48:11.191 --> 01:48:14.077
♪ And wasting all my time
1887
01:48:16.529 --> 01:48:17.746
Fuck!
1888
01:48:18.248 --> 01:48:19.249
Fuck!
1889
01:48:19.749 --> 01:48:20.750
Fuck!
Fuck!
1890
01:48:22.202 --> 01:48:25.955
♪ I don't mind you hanging out
1891
01:48:25.956 --> 01:48:27.874
♪ And talking in your sleep
1892
01:48:29.676 --> 01:48:33.129
♪ It doesn't matter
where you've been
1893
01:48:33.129 --> 01:48:36.015
♪ As long as it was deep
Yeah
1894
01:48:37.017 --> 01:48:40.520
♪ Always need to wear it well
1895
01:48:40.520 --> 01:48:42.772
♪ You look so fancy,
I can tell
1896
01:48:44.774 --> 01:48:46.609
♪ I don't mind you hanging out
1897
01:48:48.061 --> 01:48:50.029
♪ And talking in your sleep
1898
01:48:52.032 --> 01:48:55.785
♪ I guess you're
just what I needed
1899
01:48:55.785 --> 01:48:58.070
♪ I needed someone to feed
1900
01:48:58.071 --> 01:48:59.405
♪ Someone to...
1901
01:48:59.906 --> 01:49:01.824
♪ I need to talk to you
1902
01:49:02.709 --> 01:49:04.210
♪ Right now
1903
01:49:04.210 --> 01:49:05.828
♪ I needed someone
to feed ♪
1904
01:49:09.215 --> 01:49:11.467
Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.
1905
01:49:13.470 --> 01:49:15.839
Okay, everybody,
we're just gonna take a quick break.
1906
01:49:15.839 --> 01:49:18.141
Why don't we get
those toasts started?
1907
01:49:18.141 --> 01:49:21.260
So, papa bear,
come on up here.
1908
01:49:27.484 --> 01:49:29.986
MAN: Hello, everyone,
and thank you all for coming out tonight...
1909
01:49:30.487 --> 01:49:34.491
Fuckity fuck! Fuckity fuck! Fuckity fuck!
1910
01:49:36.993 --> 01:49:38.995
What are you
doing here, Ally?
1911
01:49:38.995 --> 01:49:40.496
I have a speech that
I wanna make to you,
1912
01:49:40.997 --> 01:49:42.999
but I was afraid that
I was gonna forget it.
1913
01:49:42.999 --> 01:49:47.503
So, I figured it would be
easier to drive, bike,
1914
01:49:47.504 --> 01:49:52.008
and run across town
in my high heels so I could tell you right now.
1915
01:49:55.011 --> 01:49:56.512
What's the speech?
1916
01:50:00.016 --> 01:50:03.602
Well, the gist of it was,
1917
01:50:04.604 --> 01:50:05.888
I'm sorry.
1918
01:50:07.307 --> 01:50:08.308
That's it?
1919
01:50:08.808 --> 01:50:10.025
No, wait, there's more.
1920
01:50:10.360 --> 01:50:11.361
I, um...
1921
01:50:13.863 --> 01:50:15.865
I'm happiest when
I'm being myself,
1922
01:50:15.865 --> 01:50:18.367
and I'm myself
when I'm with you.
1923
01:50:18.368 --> 01:50:20.703
That was it.
1924
01:50:21.204 --> 01:50:24.073
I guess I was just so afraid
that you were another asshole
1925
01:50:24.074 --> 01:50:27.877
that I became
the biggest asshole of all.
1926
01:50:27.877 --> 01:50:30.379
You weren't an asshole.
I was an asshole.
1927
01:50:30.380 --> 01:50:33.383
I should have given
you Jake's number, I just...
1928
01:50:34.884 --> 01:50:36.385
I didn't think
I could compete with that.
1929
01:50:38.888 --> 01:50:41.390
There's no contest.
1930
01:50:41.391 --> 01:50:44.394
You're the most
decent guy I've ever met.
1931
01:50:56.406 --> 01:50:58.908
I think I love you, 21.
1932
01:51:01.694 --> 01:51:03.195
I love you, too.
1933
01:51:05.198 --> 01:51:07.033
Three hundred and...
No!
1934
01:51:50.243 --> 01:51:53.746
JAY: Hey, Kelli,
Kelli with an "I." What's up?
1935
01:51:53.746 --> 01:51:56.248
It's Jay from
Club Med Turkoise.
1936
01:51:56.249 --> 01:51:58.251
I got a weird message
from your assistant,
1937
01:51:58.751 --> 01:52:01.754
and I just wanted
to let you know, we never had sex.
1938
01:52:01.754 --> 01:52:05.758
Uh, you did this
awkward striptease involving maracas,
1939
01:52:05.758 --> 01:52:08.510
and then gave me
a shitty hand job.
1940
01:52:08.895 --> 01:52:12.398
You claimed it was something
you like to do called "dry style,"
1941
01:52:12.398 --> 01:52:15.901
vomited in my suitcase,
and then you passed out in the shower.
1942
01:52:15.902 --> 01:52:17.904
So, yeah,
we never slept together.
1943
01:52:22.775 --> 01:52:26.779
You're number 20!
I'm still at 20!
1944
01:52:26.779 --> 01:52:31.333
I can't believe it!
You are number 20!
1945
01:52:31.835 --> 01:52:33.336
Yes!
1946
01:52:35.839 --> 01:52:39.843
♪ It will outlast everything
You think is set is stone
1947
01:52:39.843 --> 01:52:41.845
♪ It goes on and on
and on and on
1948
01:52:41.845 --> 01:52:43.847
♪ On and on and on and on
1949
01:52:43.847 --> 01:52:47.851
♪ Buzzing like neon lights
1950
01:52:47.851 --> 01:52:49.853
♪ Can you feel my love?
1951
01:52:49.853 --> 01:52:53.857
♪ Loud and clear
Pulls you near
1952
01:52:53.857 --> 01:52:57.360
♪ Can you feel my love?
1953
01:52:57.360 --> 01:53:01.864
♪ We got all the memories
So much more we can see
1954
01:53:01.865 --> 01:53:05.368
♪ Better than a first kiss
Snow falling at Christmas
1955
01:53:05.368 --> 01:53:09.872
♪ Like sleeping in on Sunday
Laughter we never faked
1956
01:53:09.873 --> 01:53:13.877
♪ Bob Marley in summer
One love for each other
1957
01:53:13.877 --> 01:53:14.878
♪ Oh, it feels like...
1958
01:53:15.378 --> 01:53:18.381
♪ Fireflies
Day and night
1959
01:53:18.381 --> 01:53:20.883
♪ Can you feel my love?
1960
01:53:22.886 --> 01:53:26.890
♪ Everyone is looking
for a special connection
1961
01:53:26.890 --> 01:53:31.394
♪ But it's like
your compass points a million directions
1962
01:53:31.394 --> 01:53:35.398
♪ Do you need me to buy you
a telescope so you can see
1963
01:53:35.398 --> 01:53:39.402
♪ How good this could be
1964
01:53:39.402 --> 01:53:43.406
♪ Buzzing like neon lights
1965
01:53:43.406 --> 01:53:45.408
♪ Can you feel my love?
1966
01:53:45.408 --> 01:53:49.412
♪ Loud and clear
Pulls you near
1967
01:53:49.412 --> 01:53:52.415
♪ Can you feel my love?
1968
01:53:52.415 --> 01:53:56.919
♪ We got all the memories
So much more we can see
1969
01:53:56.920 --> 01:54:00.423
♪ Better than a first kiss
Snow falling at Christmas
1970
01:54:00.924 --> 01:54:04.844
♪ Like sleeping in on Sunday
Laughter we never faked
1971
01:54:04.844 --> 01:54:09.348
♪ Bob Marley in summer
One love for each other
1972
01:54:09.349 --> 01:54:10.350
♪ Oh, it feels like...
1973
01:54:13.353 --> 01:54:15.855
♪ One love for each other ♪
1974
01:57:11.864 --> 01:57:12.865
English - US - Line 21