1
00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:57,475
Hey, Stifler, how come
Steve got all the talent
in your family?

2
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,310
Bite me, Fuck Face.

3
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,228
Come on, man,
you're missing it.

4
00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:04,648
I've seen it a million times,
you fucking ass-booger.

5
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,609
Matt, Steve is like
a filmmaking genius.

6
00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,569
A true American hero.

7
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,196
The Tarantino of titties.

8
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,656
Yeah, there's just
no way you could
ever be this good.

9
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,325
Hey, look, I'm going to prove
to Steve

10
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,578
that I'm up to
the standards of
the Stiffmeister Productions.

11
00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:20,289
After Steve sees
my directing talent,

12
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:23,834
little bro's joining
the family business.
Is that what he said?

13
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:28,089
He finally called you back?
No, but I left him
another message.

14
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:33,010
He'll get back to me.
It's only been three weeks.

15
00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:38,432
Gentle-fucks, a toast.
Tomorrow, we begin
our reign as seniors.

16
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,831
Okay, people,
let's take a break.

17
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,917
Remember, we play this
at the end of the ceremony

18
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,544
after <i>Pomp and Circumstance.</i>

19
00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:50,880
I don't want anyone starting
the wrong song again.

20
00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:54,008
Elyse, you need to relax,
girl.
I'm fine.

21
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:57,052
I just... You know,
it's my first time up here,
and...

22
00:02:57,136 --> 00:02:59,847
Yeah, but it's graduation.
It ain't the Boston Pops.

23
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:03,309
This performance sets the tone
for our senior year.
I mean...

24
00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:08,147
Look, you just remember
that everybody here
is pulling for you.

25
00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:14,111
Dork. Dork. Dork.

26
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:15,654
Goose.

27
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:18,657
I like them feisty.
What're you doing here,
Stifler?

28
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:22,036
We just want to say sayonara,
and let you fuck-necks know

29
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:23,579
we plan on winning
the state title

30
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,456
now that the Stiffmeister's
running the show.

31
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:31,212
<i>Adiós,</i> butt-hugger.
He's a bigger asshole
than his brother.

32
00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,592
Holy shit, Arianna.

33
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,720
Matt, what're you
doing here?

34
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:43,641
Oh, we just want to make sure
the seniors have
a very memorable last day.

35
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:47,144
That's cool. So,
there's a campout tonight

36
00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:49,897
and it's only for the grads,
but you could come.

37
00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:53,484
Let me check my schedule.
Hell, yeah.

38
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:58,239
Bring your sleeping bag,
in case we decide
to pitch a tent.

39
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:05,079
Check it out.
Perfect timing.

40
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,997
This is going to be classic.

41
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:11,085
Time to initiate
Operation Gradu-fuck-uation.

42
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,714
This is gonna be awesome.

43
00:04:15,798 --> 00:04:17,633
Shit.
Oh, yeah! Jackpot!

44
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:19,677
Payback, seniors.

45
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,804
Don't get that pepper spray
on your hands.

46
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:27,101
A graduation gift
from the Stiffmeister.

47
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,274
Dude, we should've
sprayed the diplomas.

48
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,611
Sorry, bandies.

49
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,704
Bite my nuts
and call me Skippy.
It's a Steely Dan.

50
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:50,249
- A what?
- It's a double-headed dildo.

51
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,710
It's a dildo. It's a dildo.

52
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,212
Holy shit.
It's even got a name.

53
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,630
Picardo.

54
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,090
Picardo?

55
00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:01,385
Spray that shit.
Fuck, no. Finders keepers.

56
00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,721
Okay, everybody,
<i>Pomp and Circumstance.</i>

57
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,097
Five-minute warning. Let's go.

58
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,516
The bandies.
Let's get out of here.

59
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,689
- Matt?
- Leesy.

60
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:17,985
How they hanging?
Still small and perky, I see.

61
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,611
That's funny.

62
00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:20,988
Yeah.

63
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:25,617
What're you doing here, Matt?
I just came by
to wish you good luck.

64
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:28,245
You know,
on the whole music thing.
Good luck?

65
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,956
You haven't said a word to me
since the eighth grade.

66
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:34,293
Yeah, and that tone of voice
is exactly the reason why.

67
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,712
So, I'm going to
take off now.

68
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:44,928
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,
please rise to honor
our graduates.</i>

69
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,680
Douchebag's gonna miss it.

70
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,861
Oh, yes.

71
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,574
Are they crying?

72
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,037
Holy shit!

73
00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:18,253
Yes!

74
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,235
Eat shit, seniors.

75
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,042
Yeah. Oh!

76
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:05,134
Stifler!

77
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:11,432
I've been waiting for this
moment for a very long time.

78
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:15,477
And now,
the day of reckoning has come.

79
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,065
Hello, Matthew.

80
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,026
Your brother must be
very proud.

81
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,157
You've continued his legacy.

82
00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,659
Tormenting the innocent,

83
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,830
defiling all that is good
and pure.

84
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:41,003
But now, you're going down.

85
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,923
Ooh. What're you going to do,
expel me, Shermanator?

86
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,595
I am a sophisticated
counseling machine

87
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:53,474
sent back in time
to guide young
and innocent minds.

88
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:58,770
My primary directive
is to protect the students
of this institution

89
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,649
and all, indeed all mankind

90
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,320
from the menace
that is another Stifler.

91
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,114
Behavior modification
is required.

92
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:12,284
It's not too late
to change your future.

93
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:18,999
No, expulsion
would be too easy.

94
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:21,543
Hmm.

95
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:25,464
I know the perfect punishment
to fit your crime.

96
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,719
Since you have so much trouble
with the band,

97
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,972
perhaps you should
make friends with them.

98
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,724
No fucking way.

99
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:42,189
Either you learn
to be more considerate
or you will be expelled.

100
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,525
No football.

101
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:46,693
No parties.

102
00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:48,612
No spring break.

103
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,949
No graduation.

104
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,909
No college.

105
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,702
No coeds.

106
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,996
<i>Comprende?</i>

107
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,586
Pack your bags, Stifler.

108
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,090
You're going to Band Camp.
Band Camp!

109
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,224
Bullshit, trash.

110
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:23,397
All right, Steve!
<i>Valley Girls Gone Wild.</i>

111
00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:26,191
Fuck.

112
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,336
I told you Steve
would get back to me.

113
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,754
I mean,
it was just a postcard,

114
00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:49,965
but it gave me a great idea.

115
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,133
Look...

116
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,385
Steve's shit-head friend,
Jim,

117
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,887
he married this freaking
nympho band-geek, Michelle.

118
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:58,890
And he said all they do
at Band Camp is screw 24/7.

119
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:03,186
Matt, buddy,
you cannot screw band chicks.
There are standards.

120
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:07,649
I'm not talking
about screwing them,
scrotum-breath.

121
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,402
I'm talking about
videotaping them.

122
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:14,239
People love to see dorks
doing that freaky shit
on hidden video.

123
00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:18,160
<i>Bandeez Gone Wild?</i>
Steve's gonna have
some competition now

124
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:20,912
because little bro's
joining the family business.

125
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:27,961
Yeah, Spy Chest.

126
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,464
Secret Video.

127
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,216
Hell, yeah.

128
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,763
Color night vision?
I'll take it. Shit.

129
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:48,190
How about tomorrow?
This is going be great.

130
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:32,651
<i>Welcome to Tall Oaks 2005.</i>

131
00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:36,780
<i>Let's hear it
from Lloyd Memorial High.</i>

132
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,198
L-L-O-Y-D!

133
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,034
L-L-O-Y-D!

134
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,663
<i>- Mount St. Marie.</i>
- Mount St. Marie!

135
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,331
Mount St. Marie!

136
00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:48,041
<i>East Great Falls High.</i>

137
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,669
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

138
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:52,754
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

139
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:56,133
<i>And five-time defending
Tall Oaks Cup Champion...</i>

140
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,676
<i>Beechwood Academy.</i>

141
00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:00,011
We're number one!
We're number one!

142
00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,179
We're number one!

143
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:02,514
<i>Okay, settle down.</i>

144
00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:05,600
<i>Now, as you know,
each year</i>

145
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:08,687
<i>one senior Tall Oaks composer
is awarded</i>

146
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:13,275
<i>a full scholarship
to the prestigious
Robards Conservatory.</i>

147
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,527
Elyse, this is your year to win.

148
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,864
<i>This year, Dr. Susan Choi,
president of Robards,</i>

149
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,867
<i>will judge the compositions
herself.</i>

150
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:26,455
<i>And let's not forget
to welcome the Tall Oaks
Camp Counselors.</i>

151
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:37,841
<i>If you visit our infirmary,
Nurse Sanders will take care
of your every need.</i>

152
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:45,265
<i>Okay, so let's work hard,
and may the best band win.</i>

153
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:54,316
You guys ready?

154
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,669
What the fuck?

155
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:17,506
Are you a rookie?
You look lost.

156
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:20,926
Are you an asshole?
You're hairy,
and you smell like shit.

157
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,427
I'll, uh...

158
00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:26,389
I'll ignore
that kind of talk once.

159
00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,392
We don't speak that way here.

160
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:34,272
Rookies are to wear
their beanies at all times.
Those are the rules.

161
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:36,817
And who made you
the mayor of Geek Town?

162
00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:42,072
I'm Brandon Vandecamp,
senior drum major of
Beechwood Academy

163
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,907
and the president
of the Tall Oaks Council.

164
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:48,036
Oh, and who are they,
Mr. President?
The First Lady and Vice Pussy?

165
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,544
Suits you well.

166
00:13:55,669 --> 00:14:00,423
Golly, jeepers, thanks.
Hey, you know, since I'm an
official band geek and all,

167
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,342
can you guess what
my favorite piece of music is?

168
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,387
I have no idea.
<i>The Nutcracker.</i>

169
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,600
- Step back, bitch.
- Holy mother of Mozart.

170
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,145
This is bad.

171
00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:16,898
You didn't know Jackie Chan
was in the house,
did you boys, huh?

172
00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,984
Stop that. Stop that now.

173
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,403
Those knob-slobbers
started it.

174
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:24,114
That's not true, sir.
We simply reminded him
to wear his beanie.

175
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,616
And then he viciously
assaulted Brandon's genitals.

176
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:31,246
That's a lie, you dick-snot.
Oscar, Jimmy,
escort this man to see

177
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,915
the Macro.
The what?

178
00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:36,459
You're dead.
Now, gentlemen.

179
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,546
God, Brandon, are you okay?

180
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,966
You want to tell me
what the hell
you're doing here, Stifler?

181
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,635
It don't matter, Big O.
He ain't gonna be here long.

182
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:46,970
- Bitch!
- Get over here.

183
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,139
Macro gonna
fuck your ass up, fool.

184
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,808
What the fuck's a macro?
The Macro.

185
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:54,060
Morale And Conflict
Resolution Officer.

186
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:56,563
I heard this one time,
this kid went
into that office

187
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,398
a baritone
and came out a soprano.

188
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:01,818
Clarinet up the ass
backwards, yo.
What?

189
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:10,493
Pussies.

190
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:25,675
Oh, I'm sorry.

191
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,638
<i>Frankenstein</i>. Scary stuff.

192
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,642
I am just a Boris Karloff nut.

193
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:38,229
I'm the Macro, Mr. Levenstein.
Holy shit, you're Jim's dad.

194
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,483
He screwed that redheaded
nympho chick at my lake house.

195
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,612
Oh, my, you're not a Stifler?
Yeah, I'm Steve's brother,
Matt.

196
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,116
There are two Stiflers?
Yes, sir.
Hey, what're you doing here?

197
00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:54,496
Oh, well, Jim is now
out of the house,
married to Michelle,

198
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:57,791
that redheaded nympho chick
that you spoke of.

199
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,003
And, being a former
Tall Oaks Counselor
of the Year,

200
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:07,133
she was hired to be
the Macro this summer,
but she got pregnant.

201
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:11,054
No doubt due to the tendencies
you alluded to earlier.

202
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:14,182
And I have a great rapport
with young people...

203
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:16,226
...so I just stepped in
and volunteered.

204
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:20,397
That cretin is not
in our band, and we are not
responsible for his actions.

205
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,983
Who pissed in your piccolo?
I'm sensing
some hostility here.

206
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,567
He poisoned my band.
What?

207
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,487
I'm the Macro and it's my job
to deal with...
What is he doing here?

208
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:31,116
Matt Stifler is pure evil
just like his brother.
...conflict.

209
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,826
Thanks, Leesy.

210
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:38,999
She seems nice.

211
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,334
There are rules,
of course.

212
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,211
You will
have to wear a beanie.
Yeah.

213
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:46,631
Oh, I know.
It's a little silly,
but it's tradition here,

214
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:50,343
something you're familiar
with, being on the
football team, I'm sure,

215
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:53,972
with your elephant walks
and circle jerks
and drinking butt beer.

216
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,391
But here,
you just have to wear
a silly little hat and

217
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:59,561
a somewhat stylish
Tall Oaks T-shirt.
Yeah.

218
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,688
So, just go
with the flow, Matt,

219
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:04,107
and you will have
loads of fun

220
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,652
and you'll be making
new friends in no time.

221
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:17,537
Hey, Ernie Kaplowitz,
tenor sax.

222
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:21,541
Cool! I'm a rookie here, too.

223
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:25,670
I really wanted to come
last year, but Computer Camp
conflicted, and...

224
00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:29,966
Oh, yeah, that was here
when I arrived. I think
it has your name on it.

225
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,344
What is it?

226
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:39,017
Hi, welcome
to <i>Casa de Stifler.</i>
I'll be your host, Matt.

227
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:42,604
Every day here, I'll make it
my sincere goal not to have
to kick your ass.

228
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:45,065
Allow me to show you
to your new accommodations.

229
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:49,027
When I'm out here,
you're in there.

230
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:52,572
Have a great day, fucko.

231
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,157
I don't...

232
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:58,787
Okay...

233
00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,622
I'll just go ahead
and put this stuff
away for you.

234
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,874
All right.
Bandy-vision.

235
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:08,797
This is a 1978
Ohio State show...

236
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,465
<i>The Wizard Of Oz.</i>

237
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:14,302
The one
where the sousaphone player
forgot to dot the I? Oh, hey.

238
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:19,057
Yeah, right. Freaks.

239
00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:23,228
Never fear,
the Stiffmeister's here.

240
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:26,356
Band Camp just got
a whole lot better, ladies.

241
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,192
You're Steve Stifler's
younger brother, aren't you?

242
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,152
Young and hung.
Great.

243
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:33,321
Could you send him
a message for me?

244
00:18:33,404 --> 00:18:34,572
No problem, <i>señorita.</i>

245
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:45,625
Well, it looks like Steve
gave someone the old Stifler
bang-and-boot.

246
00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:50,713
Is there a problem here?
No, everything's fine.

247
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:55,802
Have fun at Band Camp.
Thank you, I will.

248
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:02,642
Later.
Word.

249
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:05,562
You need to start
showing some respect
around here, Stifler.

250
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,439
You need to show yourself
back to your table, Big Dog.

251
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,608
Out of my way, yo.

252
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:16,573
<i>Hola, chicas.</i>
Elyse, so good
to see you again.

253
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:19,826
So, what's going on tonight?
We gonna party,
get a little crazy?

254
00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:22,495
Who wants to rack up
a few frequent fucker miles?

255
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:25,665
You know, you are the most...
Most sexy man ever
to come to Band Camp.

256
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:29,794
What? Chloe,
he is so obnoxious.
Sexy obnoxious.

257
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:32,964
Thank you.
I'm tired of messing around
with these

258
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:34,966
dorky-ass nice guys

259
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,218
and "sensitive-artist" types.

260
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:42,473
Let's party
with a real <i>hombre</i> tonight.
Hell, yeah. That's me.

261
00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:46,978
- 100% <i>hombre.</i>
- All right, my room, 8:00.

262
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:51,900
<i>Great first day, campers.
This is your Macro speaking</i>

263
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:55,153
<i>and, hey, morale couldn't have
been higher today.</i>

264
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:58,740
<i>So hop in the sack,
and get a good night's sleep
because</i>

265
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:02,285
<i>starting tomorrow, we have
many, many exciting activities
planned,</i>

266
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:05,872
<i>not the least of which
is the race
for the Tall Oaks Cup.</i>

267
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,208
<i>So let the games begin.</i>

268
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:12,212
<i>Bandeez Gone Wild.</i>
Scene One. Party <i>hombre.</i>

269
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:21,888
It's called Strip Trivia.
We made it up.
It's a Band Camp tradition.

270
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:26,517
"Fourth and Long,"
"Sextuplets," "Banging Babes,"
and "Who Blew Me?"

271
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:29,771
This looks like my kind
of game. Shall we play?

272
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:33,775
You sit in the middle.
Your game, my seating chart.

273
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:35,485
Sit a little closer, ladies.

274
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,612
<i>Don't be scared.
It's all right.</i>

275
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,239
<i>Okay...</i>

276
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,408
<i>The rules are simple.
You choose a category
and a question</i>

277
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,953
and every time you miss,
you strip.

278
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,246
Hell, yeah.

279
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,831
I'll go first. "Who Blew Me?"

280
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,667
Good.

281
00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:57,632
I am a silver
Stradivarius trumpet played
by a Pulitzer Prize winner.

282
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,051
Who blew me?

283
00:21:00,218 --> 00:21:01,761
Yeah, like I'd know.

284
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,472
Sorry. Lose the shoes,
and pick again.

285
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:06,266
You didn't tell me
this shit was about music.

286
00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:10,061
Well, it is Band Camp, moron.
Hey, to be fair,

287
00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:13,523
maybe we should just
give him a head start.

288
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,778
All right. Yeah.

289
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:22,031
<i>Okay, all right. All right.</i>

290
00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:26,244
What's wrong with you?
Scared to show off
the mosquito bites?

291
00:21:26,327 --> 00:21:29,080
I've matured
since the fourth grade, Matt.
Have you?

292
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:32,208
Oh, I've got 10 pounds
of dangling maturity
right here, Leesy.

293
00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:35,295
Quit calling me that.
Okay, okay, moving on.

294
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,964
Matt, just pick
another question, please.

295
00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:40,300
All right, screw it. Whatever.

296
00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:43,052
There you go. Suck on that.

297
00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:46,139
Fourth and Long.

298
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:47,640
Sure, no problem.

299
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:55,148
Of Beethoven's
major symphonies, which has
the longest fourth movement?

300
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,192
All right,
I see where this is going.

301
00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:01,112
Fine, you win.

302
00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:06,492
I free ball, ladies.

303
00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:09,537
Got to let
the big boys breathe.

304
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:11,789
All right,
we play by my rules now.

305
00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:15,001
Football questions only.
Prepare to strip, ladies.

306
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:18,921
<i>Wait. But first,
does anybody want a beer?</i>

307
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,131
<i>I do.</i>

308
00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:24,635
The counselors have
a secret stash in the fridge
across the hall.

309
00:22:24,719 --> 00:22:25,845
Would you mind?

310
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:28,931
Now we're talking about
a fucking party.

311
00:22:29,140 --> 00:22:30,808
Stiffy'll be back in a jiffy.

312
00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:32,435
Uh, uh, uh, uh.

313
00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:35,355
I mean,
there's nobody around

314
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,357
and we haven't seen
your best side yet.

315
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:46,866
Yes! We got him.

316
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:50,912
So busted.

317
00:22:58,503 --> 00:23:00,963
Man, big boys, wake up.

318
00:23:01,089 --> 00:23:03,341
Just gotta turn down the AC
in there, huh?

319
00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:04,759
Good night, girls.

320
00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:14,602
Sorry, asshole, game's over.

321
00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:19,357
Yeah, the big boys
will love the long walk home.

322
00:23:20,525 --> 00:23:22,026
Room check, girls.

323
00:23:23,361 --> 00:23:24,487
Oh, shit.

324
00:23:24,862 --> 00:23:27,115
Ditch his clothes.
Out the window.

325
00:23:28,199 --> 00:23:30,660
All right,
who wants a long neck?

326
00:23:37,375 --> 00:23:38,626
Nurse Sanders.

327
00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:43,923
They set me up.
He attacked us

328
00:23:44,006 --> 00:23:45,925
with pepper spray
and ruined our graduation.

329
00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:47,260
I went there
for a friendly game...

330
00:23:47,343 --> 00:23:48,928
Hold it. Hold it. Kids.

331
00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:50,304
Okay...

332
00:23:50,555 --> 00:23:52,306
Where are your clothes?

333
00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:56,686
I have them.

334
00:23:57,270 --> 00:23:59,439
May I ask why?
Well, they got me naked...

335
00:23:59,522 --> 00:24:02,442
Oh, whatever. He took
his own pants off...
And they stole my clothes.

336
00:24:02,525 --> 00:24:04,986
And I got stuck up there
with Mrs. Doubtfire
checking out my...

337
00:24:11,826 --> 00:24:13,536
Let me see
if I have this straight.

338
00:24:13,703 --> 00:24:18,583
Elyse, you think Matt
is an arrogant jock who wears
his penis on his forehead

339
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,794
just to gain the approval
of his sociopathic brother.

340
00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:25,798
And, Matt, you think Elyse
is an uptight, geeky prude

341
00:24:25,882 --> 00:24:28,634
who needs to loosen up
and get laid.

342
00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:32,013
Excuse the expression, dear.
Is that close
to being on the money?

343
00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:35,266
Look, kids...

344
00:24:36,434 --> 00:24:38,978
The only way
to solve your differences

345
00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:41,230
is by working together.

346
00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:44,192
So why don't you start
tomorrow

347
00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:47,695
by putting one foot
in front of the other?

348
00:24:51,491 --> 00:24:53,284
Left flank hut.

349
00:24:55,495 --> 00:24:56,996
Turn and hut.

350
00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:05,963
What the fuck!

351
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,383
Band 10 hut!

352
00:25:09,634 --> 00:25:10,843
Holy shit.

353
00:25:11,219 --> 00:25:14,764
When I yell "band 10 hut,"
you snap firmly at attention.

354
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:16,641
You want to see me
firmly at attention?

355
00:25:16,724 --> 00:25:18,476
I already have.
I wasn't impressed.

356
00:25:21,771 --> 00:25:22,855
Look...

357
00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:25,691
We've never beaten Beechwood,
okay?

358
00:25:26,567 --> 00:25:28,528
For some of us,
it's our last shot.

359
00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:32,990
Just stop screwing up, okay?

360
00:25:33,533 --> 00:25:34,659
Yeah, asshole.

361
00:25:36,953 --> 00:25:39,247
Okay, people,
back to work, let's go.
Whatever.

362
00:25:39,330 --> 00:25:40,373
I don't need this shit.

363
00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:43,084
Reset the block.
Front ranks, right here.

364
00:25:57,473 --> 00:25:59,183
Housekeeping.

365
00:26:26,168 --> 00:26:28,588
Oscar, brought me
something to drink?

366
00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:30,464
Come on.
Good looking out, baby.

367
00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:36,262
Hey, it's Ernie Crapowitz.

368
00:26:36,345 --> 00:26:39,473
So you finally came out
of the closet. Good for you.

369
00:26:40,683 --> 00:26:43,227
Look, I want to know
what goes on at night,
all right?

370
00:26:43,311 --> 00:26:45,938
All the crazy shit.
Naked pillow fights, whatever.

371
00:26:46,022 --> 00:26:49,525
Do I look like the guy
that's in charge of
the naked pillow fights, huh?

372
00:26:49,692 --> 00:26:51,152
It's my first time here.

373
00:26:51,235 --> 00:26:52,445
Notice the beanie?

374
00:26:52,695 --> 00:26:53,779
Yes.

375
00:26:54,614 --> 00:26:56,198
Yes, I do.

376
00:26:56,282 --> 00:26:59,619
Yes, speaking of beanies,
where's yours, Stifler?

377
00:26:59,869 --> 00:27:01,829
You still not following
the rules, huh?

378
00:27:01,912 --> 00:27:03,914
Let's see.
Look. He's getting
in trouble again.

379
00:27:03,998 --> 00:27:07,418
No standard-issue
Tall Oaks T-shirt
and no beanie.

380
00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:10,838
I believe that's two points
from Great Falls, Mr. Nelson.

381
00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:13,007
Tell you what,
Vande-cramp,

382
00:27:13,299 --> 00:27:16,093
what if I took
his beanie

383
00:27:16,177 --> 00:27:18,929
and put it on my weenie?

384
00:27:19,013 --> 00:27:23,142
How do you like that
Vande-cramp?
It's on my head, right? Huh?

385
00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:25,519
Make it five points
from Great Falls.

386
00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:26,979
Five points.

387
00:27:27,063 --> 00:27:30,232
Man, this place sucks
donkey ass.

388
00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:33,527
Ugh...

389
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,073
Put your beanie on, son.

390
00:27:42,912 --> 00:27:44,747
Five points.

391
00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:10,606
Stay still. Stop moving.

392
00:28:10,690 --> 00:28:12,441
He ain't going nowhere now.

393
00:28:12,525 --> 00:28:15,861
This isn't your world.
This is our world,
and we don't want you in it.

394
00:28:15,945 --> 00:28:18,197
You already cost us
five points in the standings.

395
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,032
We can't have that.

396
00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:22,034
Set the man up
with his beanie.

397
00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:31,502
Now you're representing, fool.

398
00:28:31,585 --> 00:28:33,045
And this toothpaste

399
00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:35,881
this will make up
for the pepper spray, asshole.

400
00:28:49,603 --> 00:28:51,021
Oh, shit.

401
00:28:52,231 --> 00:28:54,650
I'll get the paint thinner
from maintenance.

402
00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:57,236
Animals.

403
00:29:07,747 --> 00:29:11,917
Matt, you were sent here

404
00:29:12,293 --> 00:29:13,753
to make a change.

405
00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:17,673
And, so far, you've only had
your sinuses sanitized. So...

406
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,468
I think it's time
to try a new approach.

407
00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:22,887
Make some friends.

408
00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:26,307
Earn their trust.

409
00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:30,853
Why would I want
to earn their trust?

410
00:29:34,315 --> 00:29:36,108
Good.

411
00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:41,155
That's what I'm talking about.

412
00:29:42,865 --> 00:29:44,825
Welcome to Stifler-vision.

413
00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:47,411
<i>I think there's a
cymbal class at 1:00.</i>

414
00:29:47,536 --> 00:29:48,746
<i>I hate that.</i>

415
00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:51,040
<i>Yeah, but it's better than
the bass drum relay.</i>

416
00:29:51,123 --> 00:29:52,374
<i>Yeah, that's true.</i>

417
00:29:58,839 --> 00:30:00,716
Counselors going wild.

418
00:30:03,052 --> 00:30:05,221
<i>Yours look totally fantastic.</i>

419
00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:08,390
<i>Two for
the price of one.</i>
My left one's bigger, see?

420
00:30:08,474 --> 00:30:12,061
<i>Yeah, mine, too, baby.</i>
They can totally
fix that.

421
00:30:12,812 --> 00:30:14,271
<i>That shampoo smells
awesome.</i>

422
00:30:14,355 --> 00:30:17,691
<i>Thanks. I get it from
this Russian lady
who does my bikini wax.</i>

423
00:30:17,817 --> 00:30:19,068
<i>Brazilian or</i> Playboy?

424
00:30:19,151 --> 00:30:21,403
<i>Actually, I get mine
customized.</i>

425
00:30:21,487 --> 00:30:23,739
<i>- Wanna see?</i>
- Oh, yeah, show me.

426
00:30:24,782 --> 00:30:27,660
<i>Oh, my God, how cute.
There's a little music note.</i>

427
00:30:27,743 --> 00:30:29,411
No!
<i>Yeah, I used to be flat.</i>

428
00:30:29,495 --> 00:30:32,414
<i>Just like
I used to be.</i>
Lens fog. No!

429
00:30:43,676 --> 00:30:45,427
What is that thing,
butt weasel?

430
00:30:45,511 --> 00:30:47,555
Yeah, it's the KR3, baby.

431
00:30:47,638 --> 00:30:51,267
The Kaplowitz Remote
Robotic Rover.
And you are so busted.

432
00:30:51,350 --> 00:30:54,937
Hey, Oscar, somebody call
the Macro.
Dude, please, shut up.

433
00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:58,816
Pull your panties
out of your ass. I can help
you with that chick.

434
00:31:02,695 --> 00:31:03,737
What chick?

435
00:31:03,863 --> 00:31:06,323
Dude, the one
with all the tattoos.
The Tubanator.

436
00:31:06,407 --> 00:31:07,867
Her name is Chloe.

437
00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:11,871
Come on, man. I can help.
I'm the Stiffmeister.

438
00:31:11,954 --> 00:31:14,748
Master of love
and romance.
Bullshit.

439
00:31:14,915 --> 00:31:19,378
I nailed three cheerleaders
in one week on spring break.
College cheerleaders.

440
00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:32,433
And I know why
your camera spritzed out.

441
00:31:35,144 --> 00:31:37,104
Dude, this thing
is awesome.

442
00:31:37,688 --> 00:31:40,774
You ever use this
to look up chicks' skirts?
No.

443
00:31:40,858 --> 00:31:43,235
But I did use it to win
the State Science Fair
last year.

444
00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:45,613
And I'm hoping it gets me
into MIT next fall.

445
00:31:45,696 --> 00:31:47,740
I really want
to work for NASA.

446
00:31:47,948 --> 00:31:50,451
National Anal Sex Association?

447
00:31:50,659 --> 00:31:52,411
No, it's Space...

448
00:31:53,203 --> 00:31:55,331
There's an
Anal Sex Association?

449
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:57,917
Oh, yeah, but you've
got to be a pro.

450
00:31:59,460 --> 00:32:01,629
Wait, there's
a Space Association?

451
00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:05,215
You were supposed
to use this.

452
00:32:06,258 --> 00:32:10,512
See, it's got
an anti-fog lens. Duh.
Yeah, good.

453
00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:16,435
Can the robot record?
All right, so, what are
your intentions?

454
00:32:17,895 --> 00:32:20,397
With the video, I mean.
What are you doing?

455
00:32:20,522 --> 00:32:22,066
Oh, it's just for fun.

456
00:32:22,358 --> 00:32:25,778
I mean, who doesn't like
to look at hot naked chicks,
right?

457
00:32:27,237 --> 00:32:29,281
Keep it between us,
and I'll let you watch.

458
00:32:29,907 --> 00:32:32,952
Plus, I'll have you
giving Chloe the pelvic noogie
inside a week.

459
00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:36,789
Hey, Stifler. Phone.

460
00:32:37,206 --> 00:32:39,249
<i>We're in Detroit!</i>

461
00:32:39,625 --> 00:32:42,336
Locked into
sweet Brazilian rum.

462
00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:45,172
I'm fucking fubar, man!

463
00:32:45,255 --> 00:32:49,593
I sent you rum today.
Could come in handy
in Dorksville.

464
00:32:49,718 --> 00:32:51,387
Man, this place blows.

465
00:32:52,596 --> 00:32:54,181
Hey, my roommate,
Dr. Robot,

466
00:32:54,264 --> 00:32:56,517
<i>busted me taping
some college chicks
in the shower.</i>

467
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,727
So now I have to be
all nice to him and shit.

468
00:32:58,811 --> 00:33:02,272
And I'm not getting
any good footage 'cause these
fucking bandies hate me.

469
00:33:03,983 --> 00:33:06,193
Think of it like trying
to hook up with a virgin.

470
00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:09,863
<i>Act like you give a shit
about them until they
bring you into the good stuff.</i>

471
00:33:09,947 --> 00:33:11,824
Earn their trust?

472
00:33:12,449 --> 00:33:14,410
Dude, that could work.

473
00:33:14,535 --> 00:33:16,870
I'll be an undercover
bandy fucker.

474
00:33:17,997 --> 00:33:21,500
Hello, everyone.
Isn't it a peachy day
here at Band Camp?

475
00:33:21,709 --> 00:33:25,587
Band buds.
How's it going? Yo.

476
00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:30,300
Hey, I just want to say thanks
for the little wakeup call.
You kidders.

477
00:33:31,427 --> 00:33:34,596
Hey, I can finally hear
the music calling me, okay?

478
00:33:35,264 --> 00:33:38,559
There. Hear it?
Yeah. Me, too.

479
00:33:38,851 --> 00:33:40,561
So I'm a totally
new man, and...

480
00:33:40,644 --> 00:33:43,480
By the way, you both
look great in pantyhose.

481
00:33:53,907 --> 00:33:57,202
What are you doing?
Awaiting my marching lesson,
ma'am.

482
00:33:57,286 --> 00:33:59,747
Look, Matt, I really don't
have time for this right now.

483
00:33:59,830 --> 00:34:03,417
No, look, I figure I'm here,
I might as well make
the best of it.

484
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:06,920
Matt, marching's hard, okay?
It's not like
throwing some football.

485
00:34:07,004 --> 00:34:08,714
Oh, you ever thrown
into double coverage?

486
00:34:08,797 --> 00:34:10,507
You ever high-stepped
in double time?

487
00:34:10,591 --> 00:34:13,844
Yes, ma'am, the time
the cops chased us
across Koreno's Creek.

488
00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:17,806
And you got so scared,
you cried.

489
00:34:18,515 --> 00:34:22,686
I had allergies.
It was winter, Mattie.

490
00:34:23,645 --> 00:34:27,107
Well, if you don't teach me
to march, I might just
cry again.

491
00:34:30,527 --> 00:34:31,695
Fine.

492
00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:36,033
Left foot on one and three,
right foot on two and four.

493
00:34:36,116 --> 00:34:37,659
You have to do math?

494
00:34:46,210 --> 00:34:50,130
One, two, three, middle.
One, two, three, line.

495
00:34:50,214 --> 00:34:52,466
Right foot on four.

496
00:34:54,718 --> 00:34:57,221
Keep your
step size even.
My what?

497
00:34:58,806 --> 00:35:02,267
<i>All right, there we go,
little buddy. I'm gonna
fix you up good.</i>

498
00:35:03,894 --> 00:35:07,022
<i>Any girl that knows
how to play a tuba,
she can do things.</i>

499
00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:08,690
<i>That's what Stifler says.</i>

500
00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:11,401
<i>I don't know what it means,
but it's got to be good.</i>

501
00:35:11,485 --> 00:35:12,736
<i>You're good to go.</i>

502
00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:14,404
Let's go find Chloe.

503
00:35:27,167 --> 00:35:28,418
Holy shit.

504
00:35:29,628 --> 00:35:32,923
What the hell?
Who's doing this?

505
00:35:35,551 --> 00:35:36,635
Take it.

506
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:37,803
<i>It's okay.</i>

507
00:35:47,229 --> 00:35:50,858
<i>Thanks, little
creepy machine.</i>
You're welcome...

508
00:35:51,275 --> 00:35:52,985
<i>Beautiful lady.</i>

509
00:36:08,417 --> 00:36:12,713
With my right, with my right,
but I can also do it
with my left, with my left.

510
00:36:16,216 --> 00:36:17,301
Bootie.

511
00:36:18,552 --> 00:36:19,678
Good game.

512
00:36:20,304 --> 00:36:22,389
Good game. Good game.
Good game. Good game.
Good game.

513
00:36:26,059 --> 00:36:27,895
You just touched my bootie.

514
00:36:34,943 --> 00:36:37,362
What's that?
Your instrument.

515
00:36:37,821 --> 00:36:39,615
That's fucking gay.

516
00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:42,659
I mean lame.
Good.

517
00:36:43,368 --> 00:36:46,205
Now, there are
two positions.

518
00:36:46,872 --> 00:36:51,043
Carrying position, like this,
and playing position,
like this.

519
00:36:51,210 --> 00:36:52,878
Now when I call,
"horns up,"

520
00:36:53,003 --> 00:36:55,088
you're gonna move
your instrument out,
and then...

521
00:36:55,172 --> 00:36:56,840
Hello, losers.

522
00:36:57,007 --> 00:37:00,802
Matt. Oh, my God.
Matt, I am so sorry.

523
00:37:00,886 --> 00:37:03,180
I think I bit a hole
in my tongue.
Oh, let me see.

524
00:37:03,263 --> 00:37:05,766
No, no hole.
On today's episode,

525
00:37:06,058 --> 00:37:08,393
wasting time
on lost causes.

526
00:37:09,937 --> 00:37:11,521
Speaking of which,
I understand

527
00:37:11,605 --> 00:37:14,066
you composed the music
to your show, Elyse,

528
00:37:14,149 --> 00:37:15,776
if you call that music.

529
00:37:15,901 --> 00:37:18,320
Yeah. That's right.
I did.

530
00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:20,614
And who'd your daddy hire
to compose yours?

531
00:37:20,739 --> 00:37:25,661
I'm just giving you
fair warning, cupcake.
Robards Scholarship is mine.

532
00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:27,579
Like you need it.

533
00:37:27,913 --> 00:37:30,916
It's not a matter of need.
It's a matter of want.

534
00:37:31,166 --> 00:37:32,668
Yeah, I get what I want.

535
00:37:32,918 --> 00:37:34,586
Why don't you
shut the fuck up?

536
00:37:34,670 --> 00:37:35,796
Matt, don't.

537
00:37:36,964 --> 00:37:39,716
What are you
going to do?
Kick your ass.

538
00:37:39,925 --> 00:37:41,718
Are you challenging me?
No.

539
00:37:41,802 --> 00:37:45,180
Yeah, what if I am?
No, Brandon, that is not
what he's doing.

540
00:37:45,264 --> 00:37:48,100
I accept.
Amphitheatre, 5:00.

541
00:37:48,475 --> 00:37:51,353
It's been three years
since I've been challenged.

542
00:37:51,603 --> 00:37:53,480
We got a challenge.

543
00:37:56,191 --> 00:37:58,610
I look forward
to reminding people why.

544
00:37:59,444 --> 00:38:00,946
East Great Falls.
Hoo, ha!

545
00:38:01,196 --> 00:38:03,407
I'll see you there, asshole.

546
00:38:05,284 --> 00:38:06,493
Do you know
what you just did?

547
00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:08,912
Doesn't matter.
Fucker's going down.

548
00:38:08,996 --> 00:38:11,665
Matt, you challenged him
to a duel.

549
00:38:11,957 --> 00:38:13,166
With swords?

550
00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:17,629
No, you idiot.
You each get on stage
and perform.

551
00:38:17,713 --> 00:38:19,756
And the crowd decides
who wins.

552
00:38:20,257 --> 00:38:22,175
Can't we just do
keg stands?

553
00:38:22,759 --> 00:38:27,180
Matt, this is serious, okay?
Beechwood gets five points
if he wins,

554
00:38:27,264 --> 00:38:30,559
which, you know, he will
because he plays
an instrument.

555
00:38:30,767 --> 00:38:32,561
Well, so do I.

556
00:38:33,103 --> 00:38:35,897
<i>Let the Tall Oaks
Battle Royale begin.</i>

557
00:38:36,481 --> 00:38:39,359
<i>The prize is five points
towards the cup.</i>

558
00:38:40,277 --> 00:38:42,237
Okay, Brandon,
you're up first.

559
00:39:26,323 --> 00:39:27,574
Come on!

560
00:39:29,910 --> 00:39:32,496
Suck on that, bitch.

561
00:39:33,497 --> 00:39:34,831
Lame.

562
00:39:35,540 --> 00:39:37,125
This is so embarrassing.

563
00:39:37,209 --> 00:39:38,460
<i>Okay, Brandon.</i>

564
00:39:38,543 --> 00:39:40,170
Now you show him, Brandon.

565
00:39:58,355 --> 00:39:59,564
Take that!

566
00:40:10,951 --> 00:40:13,495
<i>Well, seems
this contest is over.</i>

567
00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:17,082
Figures. We just lost
five points.

568
00:40:19,418 --> 00:40:22,421
<i>And the winner
by forfeit is...</i>

569
00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:26,883
But I know
it's not his fault...

570
00:40:44,651 --> 00:40:48,697
<i>Play that funky music white boy</i>

571
00:40:49,739 --> 00:40:51,491
You don't know
the words.

572
00:40:52,075 --> 00:40:54,995
<i>Play that funk music
white boy</i>

573
00:40:55,745 --> 00:40:57,372
<i>Lay down that boogie</i>

574
00:40:57,456 --> 00:40:59,958
<i>And play that funky music
till you die</i>

575
00:41:13,430 --> 00:41:15,015
He should shave that.

576
00:41:17,851 --> 00:41:19,936
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

577
00:41:20,103 --> 00:41:22,147
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

578
00:41:22,230 --> 00:41:24,608
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

579
00:41:24,816 --> 00:41:26,485
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

580
00:41:29,613 --> 00:41:31,698
<i>Okay, five points
to Great Falls.</i>

581
00:41:34,075 --> 00:41:36,077
All right, Great Falls!

582
00:41:38,455 --> 00:41:40,582
East Great Falls!

583
00:41:40,665 --> 00:41:43,001
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

584
00:41:43,126 --> 00:41:44,961
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

585
00:41:45,045 --> 00:41:47,172
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

586
00:41:47,255 --> 00:41:49,633
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

587
00:41:50,967 --> 00:41:52,385
Hey. Hey. Hey.

588
00:41:52,636 --> 00:41:54,721
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
What?

589
00:41:54,804 --> 00:41:57,265
Are you really Scottish?
Fuck, no.

590
00:41:58,099 --> 00:41:59,559
My mom made me
learn an instrument.

591
00:41:59,643 --> 00:42:01,728
That's the most annoying one
I could think of.

592
00:42:01,811 --> 00:42:05,649
I think you were just born
to squeeze sacks
and blow pipes, Stifler.

593
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:07,192
Hey, Oscar.

594
00:42:11,947 --> 00:42:14,616
How many other Oscars
do you know? Go!

595
00:42:16,993 --> 00:42:19,371
What's up?
Your drum line sounds
pretty tight.

596
00:42:19,496 --> 00:42:20,539
Oh, thanks.

597
00:42:20,664 --> 00:42:22,582
You let me know
if you want to learn
some new moves.

598
00:42:22,666 --> 00:42:23,667
Really?

599
00:42:23,750 --> 00:42:25,627
He's gonna screw it up.
He's definitely gonna
screw it up.

600
00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:26,711
Hey.

601
00:42:28,338 --> 00:42:30,173
Thanks for winning
those points back.

602
00:42:30,257 --> 00:42:32,676
I lost them.
I had to get them back.

603
00:42:33,426 --> 00:42:36,346
Hey, guys,
Sheree's gonna show me
some moves.

604
00:42:37,013 --> 00:42:38,139
<i>Hey, gang,</i>

605
00:42:38,223 --> 00:42:41,101
just a little reminder that
as the battle for the cup

606
00:42:41,184 --> 00:42:42,644
heats up,
let's try to remember

607
00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:47,107
<i>to keep up that Tall Oaks
spirit of fair play
and friendly competition.</i>

608
00:42:48,191 --> 00:42:50,527
We'll have enough spit
for a six-pack.

609
00:42:53,780 --> 00:42:56,741
Yeah, baby,
you did me proud, son.
Thanks, J.Lo.

610
00:42:56,866 --> 00:42:58,285
It's cool.
Big O?

611
00:42:58,702 --> 00:43:01,705
Quite a little show you put on
yesterday, Stifler.

612
00:43:01,871 --> 00:43:04,541
You know, these plebes think
you're some kind of hero.

613
00:43:04,708 --> 00:43:06,960
I don't know
what a plebe is, Vande-creep.

614
00:43:07,043 --> 00:43:10,255
Didn't anybody tell you
not to mess with the big dog
while he's eating?

615
00:43:10,338 --> 00:43:13,091
It's mine, jerk-wad.
Now will you give it back?

616
00:43:14,551 --> 00:43:17,804
Dildos.
This is still
my camp, asshole.

617
00:43:18,054 --> 00:43:20,599
You're going down.
No, I'm not.

618
00:43:20,682 --> 00:43:21,808
But your mom did
last night.

619
00:43:21,891 --> 00:43:24,477
Did she play the trumpet?
Because she has really
strong lips.

620
00:43:25,645 --> 00:43:26,896
That's right.

621
00:43:34,529 --> 00:43:36,406
Mmm!

622
00:43:37,449 --> 00:43:39,034
Mmm, mmm, mmm!

623
00:43:42,454 --> 00:43:43,622
Yummy.

624
00:43:46,958 --> 00:43:49,336
That's what
I'm talking about.
Whoo!

625
00:43:50,545 --> 00:43:51,921
What happened
this time, Claire?

626
00:43:52,005 --> 00:43:53,506
Well, I was working
on my solo

627
00:43:53,590 --> 00:43:55,050
and I hurt myself.

628
00:43:55,925 --> 00:43:57,761
I've been
fucking poisoned.

629
00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:01,556
Ipecac is a natural
herbal extract

630
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,726
that triggers
the regurgitation reflex.

631
00:44:09,189 --> 00:44:11,858
Whatever's in there
should be out soon enough.

632
00:44:12,192 --> 00:44:13,902
Like him,
if we're lucky.

633
00:44:15,695 --> 00:44:19,491
Well, I'm pretty sure
it's probably
just something

634
00:44:19,866 --> 00:44:24,245
you had for lunch, you know?
I've got the same problem.
Very sensitive stomach.

635
00:44:24,871 --> 00:44:28,166
I was at a banquet once.
On the same plate,
if you can believe it,

636
00:44:28,249 --> 00:44:30,752
they had creamed venison,

637
00:44:30,835 --> 00:44:33,296
squid fritters
and jellied pork.

638
00:44:39,219 --> 00:44:40,387
What?

639
00:45:00,699 --> 00:45:02,117
Hey, what's up,
crust bucket?

640
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:03,493
Come here, dude.
Check this out.

641
00:45:03,576 --> 00:45:05,704
So, this afternoon,
while the counselors

642
00:45:05,787 --> 00:45:07,414
were practicing
for the talent show,

643
00:45:07,497 --> 00:45:10,375
I faked an asthma attack,
and I changed both
of the cameras.

644
00:45:11,584 --> 00:45:14,212
Oh, shit! What the hell
are they doing?

645
00:45:14,295 --> 00:45:16,965
It's their talent show
routine, au naturel.

646
00:45:17,382 --> 00:45:20,093
Dude, you filthy little
cyberfucker. Shit.

647
00:45:20,927 --> 00:45:22,595
Hey, I thought we were
just going to watch.

648
00:45:22,679 --> 00:45:25,390
Exactly, we may want
to watch it again.

649
00:45:26,975 --> 00:45:31,855
Oh, yes. Counselors gone wild.
Dancing white ta-tas.

650
00:45:31,938 --> 00:45:36,776
Hey, so, I took your advice
about Chloe. I used the Rover
to deliver a soda.

651
00:45:37,110 --> 00:45:39,028
That was your cool,
crazy idea?

652
00:45:39,112 --> 00:45:40,822
Yeah, I think
she actually liked it.

653
00:45:40,905 --> 00:45:43,950
Yeah, that sounds gay.
It's not gay.

654
00:45:45,618 --> 00:45:48,496
Anyway, there's this
bonfire-slushee party
tonight

655
00:45:48,580 --> 00:45:51,291
and I really need to know
Step Two in
the Stiffmeister plan.

656
00:45:51,916 --> 00:45:55,503
Slushee party. Really.

657
00:45:55,837 --> 00:45:57,422
Special delivery.

658
00:45:57,547 --> 00:45:59,632
Prepare to jam
with the bearded clam.

659
00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:02,010
Get ready to cuddle
the love puddle.

660
00:46:02,302 --> 00:46:05,638
The time has come
for Dr. Robot to get laid.

661
00:46:05,805 --> 00:46:06,931
Get laid?

662
00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:09,768
I told you,
trust the Stiffmeister.

663
00:46:09,976 --> 00:46:12,771
<i>Meister</i> means "master"
in German.

664
00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:17,859
Get her drunk?
That's the secret of the ages?
That's Step Number Two?

665
00:46:18,109 --> 00:46:19,778
No, actually, it's Step Four.

666
00:46:19,861 --> 00:46:22,530
You don't have
the balls for Two
or the tongue for Three.

667
00:46:23,198 --> 00:46:24,699
I've got the balls.

668
00:46:25,283 --> 00:46:27,827
Hey, you haven't heard
Step Five yet.

669
00:46:31,623 --> 00:46:35,001
<i>Born to be wild</i>

670
00:46:38,963 --> 00:46:42,634
<i>Well, I'm hot-blooded
check it and see</i>

671
00:46:43,009 --> 00:46:46,763
<i>I've got a fever of 103</i>

672
00:46:46,846 --> 00:46:49,682
<i>Come on, baby
do you do more than dance?</i>

673
00:46:51,476 --> 00:46:54,229
This is some good shit.
Don't enjoy it
too much.

674
00:46:54,354 --> 00:46:57,816
We have a big practice
tomorrow, you guys.
Relax, Leesy.

675
00:46:58,191 --> 00:47:01,402
Suckle the tender fruits
of Band Camp
with your friends.

676
00:47:01,528 --> 00:47:05,406
Come on, Elyse.
Cut loose a little bit.
Have some fun.

677
00:47:05,490 --> 00:47:06,825
I am having fun.

678
00:47:06,908 --> 00:47:09,911
Hey, horn dog, let's go get
some more of these
before they run out.

679
00:47:09,994 --> 00:47:12,413
All right.
Horn dog?

680
00:47:12,497 --> 00:47:17,043
Yeah, it's his nickname.
Dude will stick his dick
into anything. It's unnatural.

681
00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:21,923
Check it, dawg. This one time
at Band Camp,
I fucked an oboe.

682
00:47:22,966 --> 00:47:25,343
Really?
Blow in it for a while,

683
00:47:25,426 --> 00:47:30,056
get that wood nice and warm,
slap on some valve oil
and go to town, yo.

684
00:47:30,265 --> 00:47:32,433
Hey, maybe you should
try a flute.

685
00:47:35,645 --> 00:47:36,938
Hey.
Hey.

686
00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:39,566
Now's a good time
to teach you those moves.

687
00:47:39,649 --> 00:47:40,692
Really?

688
00:47:46,364 --> 00:47:47,532
What?

689
00:48:01,963 --> 00:48:03,423
I know what you're doing.

690
00:48:03,506 --> 00:48:04,549
You do?

691
00:48:05,008 --> 00:48:07,594
It's what you always do.
You're a fake.

692
00:48:07,886 --> 00:48:11,014
You do whatever it takes
to be the center of attention.

693
00:48:11,097 --> 00:48:14,934
Just like when we were kids,
around me, you were
regular old Matt,

694
00:48:15,143 --> 00:48:18,563
but around Steve
and his friends,
you were the Stiffmeister.

695
00:48:19,647 --> 00:48:21,190
Who're you going
to be tonight?

696
00:48:21,441 --> 00:48:23,067
Hey, cheese dick,

697
00:48:23,151 --> 00:48:26,988
why don't you quit being
such a fucking taint licker,
and get me another slushee.

698
00:48:27,655 --> 00:48:29,490
Fucking puss monkey.

699
00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:40,084
You know what?
I am going to have some fun.

700
00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:51,179
Fucking hoes, man.
I don't get that shit.

701
00:48:51,304 --> 00:48:55,183
I mean, right now, Oscar's off
in the woods tapping
that counselor biatch, Sheree.

702
00:48:55,308 --> 00:48:58,102
What's up with that?
That cock spring
is getting laid?

703
00:48:58,186 --> 00:49:01,189
True that. And here we are,
the two dopest homeboys
in camp

704
00:49:01,272 --> 00:49:05,610
and we ain't got no prospects
for our palm pilots.
That's fucked up, dawg.

705
00:49:06,027 --> 00:49:08,029
Dude, I gotta see this.

706
00:49:11,282 --> 00:49:12,450
Use your hips more.

707
00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:13,618
Hips, like that?

708
00:49:13,701 --> 00:49:17,580
Yeah, now faster. Yeah.
Like that. A circle.
Like that.

709
00:49:17,705 --> 00:49:21,834
Crikey! The alpha female
has chosen an unlikely mate.

710
00:49:21,918 --> 00:49:24,545
Will he survive
this dangerous encounter

711
00:49:24,796 --> 00:49:29,217
or will she satisfy
her primal needs and then
devour him for dinner?

712
00:49:29,550 --> 00:49:31,135
Stay tuned.

713
00:49:31,469 --> 00:49:35,056
I'm sorry. I'm really
no good at this stuff.

714
00:49:35,139 --> 00:49:37,183
Relax.
You're doing fine.

715
00:49:40,770 --> 00:49:42,271
This sucks.

716
00:49:42,605 --> 00:49:45,108
How's that feel?
Oscar.

717
00:49:45,191 --> 00:49:47,902
Is that your drumstick
poking me?

718
00:49:49,070 --> 00:49:51,030
I don't have
my drumsticks.

719
00:49:51,114 --> 00:49:53,908
Are you standing up
for me again, Oscar?

720
00:49:54,450 --> 00:49:56,202
It's getting hot.

721
00:49:56,452 --> 00:49:59,372
Smack my ass
and call me cowboy.

722
00:49:59,539 --> 00:50:02,333
Hello,
Double-D Sheree.

723
00:50:02,875 --> 00:50:04,585
<i>Hips. Hips.</i>

724
00:50:04,877 --> 00:50:06,504
Use your hips.
Oh, yeah, hips.

725
00:50:06,587 --> 00:50:08,423
And step, and...

726
00:50:10,925 --> 00:50:13,052
Who knew?

727
00:50:13,803 --> 00:50:15,221
Wow.

728
00:50:16,764 --> 00:50:17,890
Oh, shit!

729
00:50:17,974 --> 00:50:19,809
You're a sweet guy, Oscar.

730
00:50:19,892 --> 00:50:22,395
<i>Bandeez Gone Wild.</i>
Scene 69.

731
00:50:22,478 --> 00:50:24,814
Double-D Sheree
and Big O.

732
00:50:27,442 --> 00:50:29,986
<i>Yo, we at Tall Oaks
sipping on juice</i>

733
00:50:30,069 --> 00:50:32,280
<i>Got horns, trumpets
rhythm and flutes</i>

734
00:50:32,363 --> 00:50:34,657
<i>Great Falls laying it down</i>

735
00:50:34,741 --> 00:50:37,368
<i>Gonna ride fucking Beechwood
out of the town</i>

736
00:50:37,452 --> 00:50:39,787
<i>J.C., what
rocking the bunch</i>

737
00:50:39,871 --> 00:50:42,915
<i>All tripped out
on the fucking fruit punch</i>

738
00:50:47,754 --> 00:50:50,006
<i>Hey, are you sure
about this? I mean...</i>

739
00:50:50,089 --> 00:50:53,593
<i>I just
want to be respectful.
Oh, that's sweet.</i>

740
00:50:54,052 --> 00:50:57,930
<i>But right now,
I just want you to respect me
real hard and bad.</i>

741
00:50:59,599 --> 00:51:01,476
Lucky son of a bitch.

742
00:51:01,642 --> 00:51:04,270
The only person who's
gonna get laid around here.

743
00:51:13,446 --> 00:51:15,490
Hello, oboe.

744
00:51:32,173 --> 00:51:33,966
This is so cool.

745
00:51:35,676 --> 00:51:40,014
I hope I didn't scare you
with the Rover and the soda.

746
00:51:40,139 --> 00:51:41,974
No, man,
it was cute.

747
00:51:43,017 --> 00:51:46,604
Nobody's ever been
that sweet to me
in my whole life.

748
00:51:47,188 --> 00:51:48,564
Plus, to be honest,

749
00:51:49,357 --> 00:51:52,485
metal really turns me on.

750
00:51:52,985 --> 00:51:53,986
Oh.

751
00:52:19,345 --> 00:52:21,514
Man, the shit's stuck.

752
00:52:45,872 --> 00:52:48,374
Turn off the lights.
Damn, gangsta.

753
00:52:48,499 --> 00:52:49,500
I was just fucking
with you, dawg!

754
00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:51,127
You... It's stuck.

755
00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:53,671
Shit, you want help?
Don't touch me.

756
00:52:55,173 --> 00:52:56,215
Come on.

757
00:52:56,841 --> 00:52:58,259
Maybe you should blow on it.

758
00:52:58,342 --> 00:53:00,219
Maybe you should
blow on it and I'll pull.

759
00:53:00,303 --> 00:53:02,555
Hell, no. Jimmy ain't
putting his lips on that thing.

760
00:53:02,638 --> 00:53:04,098
Jimmy should be
a team player.

761
00:53:04,182 --> 00:53:06,434
- Try and relax, dawg.
- Not so hard.

762
00:53:06,517 --> 00:53:08,060
Oh, my God!

763
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:16,569
I was just trying to help him
get it off, yo.

764
00:53:16,652 --> 00:53:18,571
Dude, shut up.

765
00:53:18,654 --> 00:53:19,780
Whatever.

766
00:53:19,864 --> 00:53:21,908
He had an allergic reaction
to the valve oil.

767
00:53:21,991 --> 00:53:24,660
The swelling should go down
in a few minutes.

768
00:53:24,911 --> 00:53:29,040
These kinds of things
would never happen
with our old Macro.

769
00:53:50,061 --> 00:53:52,897
We didn't have MTV
when I was growing up.

770
00:53:54,232 --> 00:53:56,817
So maybe it's
the over-stimulated times

771
00:53:56,901 --> 00:54:01,030
that we live in
that causes young men
to stick their

772
00:54:01,739 --> 00:54:04,700
instruments in
such odd places.

773
00:54:06,577 --> 00:54:08,162
I knew a certain
young man once

774
00:54:08,246 --> 00:54:11,582
who actually engaged
in sexual congress
with an apple pie.

775
00:54:11,749 --> 00:54:13,584
And he turned out just fine.

776
00:54:14,126 --> 00:54:17,088
So, you're perfectly normal...

777
00:54:18,214 --> 00:54:19,757
As these things go.

778
00:54:34,146 --> 00:54:35,147
Hey.

779
00:54:38,109 --> 00:54:41,237
Are you okay?
Oh, yeah.

780
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:45,825
I'm so drunk right now.
I'm probably going
to forget about you

781
00:54:47,285 --> 00:54:49,412
porking an oboe.

782
00:54:58,462 --> 00:55:00,256
I have six piercings.

783
00:55:01,674 --> 00:55:04,302
That doesn't include
the ones on my face.

784
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:19,233
Two right here...

785
00:55:21,610 --> 00:55:24,655
And four down here.

786
00:55:36,250 --> 00:55:38,210
Haven't seen that
in a while.

787
00:55:38,711 --> 00:55:43,674
Yeah, well, no time
for dance. It's all about
band, band, band.

788
00:55:43,841 --> 00:55:45,843
No, I was talking
about you having fun.

789
00:55:45,926 --> 00:55:49,263
I have fun.
I have fun all the time.
Yeah.

790
00:55:49,347 --> 00:55:51,557
I just get stressed out,
you know. I mean...

791
00:55:52,850 --> 00:55:55,061
We graduate next year,
and I don't know.

792
00:55:55,144 --> 00:55:57,188
I mean, I don't really
talk about it all that much

793
00:55:57,271 --> 00:56:00,232
because the cup is, like,
a team thing, and...

794
00:56:00,316 --> 00:56:03,527
But winning
the Robards Scholarship,
I mean, that is like

795
00:56:03,611 --> 00:56:05,279
my future, you know?
And

796
00:56:06,155 --> 00:56:08,991
Dr. Choi is coming.
I mean,

797
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:12,661
you don't understand.
She's like famous,

798
00:56:13,204 --> 00:56:16,207
like holy-shit famous.
And, sometimes, I just...

799
00:56:17,208 --> 00:56:18,918
I get really stressed out

800
00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:22,838
and I calm myself down
by going off
and playing on my Picardo.

801
00:56:23,381 --> 00:56:26,092
Wait, you have...
Picardo?

802
00:56:26,425 --> 00:56:29,011
It's just a cheapie,
but I lost it.

803
00:56:29,303 --> 00:56:32,473
Wait, if I somehow found
this Picard thing...
You found it?

804
00:56:32,723 --> 00:56:34,642
Maybe.
Give it back.

805
00:56:34,975 --> 00:56:36,477
If you let me watch.

806
00:56:37,478 --> 00:56:40,481
Okay, but it takes me a while
to warm up.

807
00:56:40,564 --> 00:56:43,025
I have all the time
in the world.

808
00:56:45,653 --> 00:56:46,695
Figures.

809
00:56:48,572 --> 00:56:51,158
But I'm going to have
to be really drunk.

810
00:56:51,784 --> 00:56:55,121
I mean really drunk.
Really drunk.

811
00:56:56,330 --> 00:56:57,331
Yes.

812
00:56:57,915 --> 00:56:59,417
Beat it, jerk off.

813
00:57:18,602 --> 00:57:20,938
<i>Okay, people,
let's take a break.</i>

814
00:57:24,358 --> 00:57:26,485
<i>We're all
a little sluggish today.</i>

815
00:57:28,279 --> 00:57:29,905
Man, we suck.

816
00:57:29,989 --> 00:57:33,534
Man, one night of fun
was not worth losing
a whole day of practice.

817
00:57:37,580 --> 00:57:39,081
Give me this thing.

818
00:57:39,540 --> 00:57:42,126
<i>All right, listen up,
you lazy bunch of lip shits.</i>

819
00:57:42,209 --> 00:57:44,170
<i>Those Beechwood plebes
aren't taking breaks.</i>

820
00:57:44,253 --> 00:57:47,173
<i>We want to win this thing,
we've gotta bust our asses.</i>

821
00:57:47,506 --> 00:57:49,633
<i>Come on, bitches.
Back to work.</i>

822
00:57:49,717 --> 00:57:52,511
Matt, that's my job.
<i>Grab your cocks
and move your socks.</i>

823
00:57:52,595 --> 00:57:54,722
<i>We're at war here,
people, war!</i>

824
00:57:54,805 --> 00:57:56,307
<i>Show some tits.
Grow some balls.</i>

825
00:57:56,390 --> 00:57:58,184
<i>Hey, keep that thing
warm for me.</i>

826
00:57:58,267 --> 00:58:00,853
<i>All right, now.
What, you want to let
Beechwood tittie-fuck us?</i>

827
00:58:00,936 --> 00:58:01,979
<i>I didn't think so.</i>

828
00:58:02,062 --> 00:58:03,856
<i>All right, Tall Oakers,</i>

829
00:58:03,939 --> 00:58:06,984
<i>we're in our final week.
Time to put on our game faces.</i>

830
00:58:07,067 --> 00:58:10,237
<i>And time
to strap yourselves in
for a bumpy ride.</i>

831
00:58:10,362 --> 00:58:12,281
I want the oboe, clarinet,
black thingies

832
00:58:12,406 --> 00:58:15,159
and we've got
the rhythm section
in a full-on blitz.

833
00:58:15,242 --> 00:58:17,328
- Are you with me, bandies?
- Yeah!

834
00:58:17,411 --> 00:58:19,580
<i>Competition for
the Tall Oaks Cup is</i>

835
00:58:19,663 --> 00:58:20,748
<i>really heating up.</i>

836
00:58:23,959 --> 00:58:25,461
<i>Beechwood wins.</i>

837
00:58:27,713 --> 00:58:28,714
Whatever.

838
00:58:28,797 --> 00:58:30,132
I told you,
you should let me steer.

839
00:58:30,257 --> 00:58:31,926
Take that bitch home, man.

840
00:58:32,259 --> 00:58:35,012
Drive it in.
Hey, you, fuck face...

841
00:58:35,095 --> 00:58:36,972
I don't even know
where to start with you.

842
00:58:43,479 --> 00:58:44,813
<i>Beechwood leads.</i>

843
00:58:44,897 --> 00:58:47,149
<i>Great Falls and Lloyd
are tied for second.</i>

844
00:58:47,233 --> 00:58:49,276
Beechwood licks nuts. Hut!

845
00:58:57,826 --> 00:59:00,246
<i>Victory, East Great Falls.</i>

846
00:59:03,541 --> 00:59:05,668
Right foot on line.

847
00:59:07,294 --> 00:59:09,505
Jimmy,
you fucking lotion lover.

848
00:59:16,637 --> 00:59:19,265
<i>East Great Falls
by four points.</i>

849
00:59:28,732 --> 00:59:30,568
Hey, butt pirates ahoy.

850
00:59:31,318 --> 00:59:32,570
Your little band

851
00:59:32,653 --> 00:59:34,613
may be leading
in the competition, Stifler...

852
00:59:36,407 --> 00:59:39,034
...but make sure
to let us know
if you get thirsty.

853
00:59:39,118 --> 00:59:41,078
Yeah, 'cause there's plenty
of this.

854
00:59:46,709 --> 00:59:50,671
That's funny for you dorks.
Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah.

855
00:59:50,879 --> 00:59:53,507
Man, screw that challenge.
I'm just gonna kick his ass.

856
00:59:53,591 --> 00:59:55,759
No, wait.
I've got a better idea,

857
00:59:56,677 --> 00:59:58,721
if you think
you're man enough.

858
01:00:10,774 --> 01:00:11,817
Yes.

859
01:00:11,900 --> 01:00:15,070
Hey, you sure you can do this?
Hey, born to be
a porn star, baby.

860
01:00:15,154 --> 01:00:16,572
Delivery on demand.

861
01:00:17,740 --> 01:00:20,784
When I get back, I'll be
a million Stiflers lighter.

862
01:00:28,334 --> 01:00:30,294
Hey, <i>ocupado.</i>

863
01:00:30,377 --> 01:00:31,670
Sorry.

864
01:00:36,342 --> 01:00:37,593
Oh.

865
01:00:52,399 --> 01:00:54,985
Dude, how about
a courtesy flush, man?

866
01:00:55,069 --> 01:00:56,945
I'm trying to concentrate
in here.

867
01:01:02,451 --> 01:01:03,911
Sheree.

868
01:01:10,918 --> 01:01:13,337
Mattie.

869
01:01:13,420 --> 01:01:15,255
Double-D Sheree.

870
01:01:17,299 --> 01:01:19,677
<i>Sheree. Yeah.</i>

871
01:01:22,221 --> 01:01:23,764
<i>Arianna.</i>

872
01:01:25,557 --> 01:01:27,309
Oh, Arianna.

873
01:01:34,441 --> 01:01:35,859
Band, 10-hut!

874
01:01:36,110 --> 01:01:37,361
Leesy.

875
01:01:40,906 --> 01:01:42,741
Yeah, Leesy.

876
01:01:43,701 --> 01:01:44,993
Oh, yeah.

877
01:01:56,171 --> 01:01:57,506
<i>Nurse Sanders.</i>

878
01:01:57,589 --> 01:01:59,717
Go ahead,
give me that shot, baby.

879
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:01,301
<i>Naughty Nurse.</i>

880
01:02:01,385 --> 01:02:04,221
<i>More. Oh, yeah.</i>

881
01:02:08,642 --> 01:02:10,769
It's coming. Oh, yeah.

882
01:02:12,813 --> 01:02:14,982
<i>Oh, yeah, it's coming.</i>

883
01:02:16,817 --> 01:02:18,610
Claire? No!

884
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:23,198
Claire. Oh, Claire, baby.

885
01:02:23,407 --> 01:02:25,325
<i>Claire...</i>

886
01:02:25,451 --> 01:02:26,577
<i>Claire...</i>

887
01:02:29,079 --> 01:02:30,497
Claire.

888
01:02:44,845 --> 01:02:47,347
- Courtesy flush.
- Oh, no!

889
01:02:48,515 --> 01:02:50,893
Brandon, I think you're
a really good drummer, so...

890
01:02:50,976 --> 01:02:52,060
Excuse me.

891
01:02:58,692 --> 01:03:00,694
Listen, this is your chance
to help.

892
01:03:04,198 --> 01:03:05,532
Hey, guys,

893
01:03:05,657 --> 01:03:09,369
don't forget your sunscreen.
Your bodies
are your instruments.

894
01:03:09,495 --> 01:03:11,538
Yeah, you don't want to be
chapped for your solos.

895
01:03:11,663 --> 01:03:13,999
No, we don't. Bye now.

896
01:03:19,087 --> 01:03:21,340
What is that, 30?
It's really thick.

897
01:03:31,725 --> 01:03:33,644
How's that taste, Vande-cock?

898
01:03:34,228 --> 01:03:36,355
Mmm! Good, huh?
Warm and salty? Yeah.

899
01:03:36,438 --> 01:03:40,234
It's a cum-pletely
new formula.
100% Stiffy juice...

900
01:03:40,359 --> 01:03:42,444
SPF 69.

901
01:03:49,201 --> 01:03:50,452
Suck on that.

902
01:03:51,578 --> 01:03:53,038
Yeah.
Stop, man.

903
01:03:53,121 --> 01:03:54,832
Yeah.
Ernie.

904
01:03:54,957 --> 01:03:56,375
Yeah.
Ernie.

905
01:04:05,884 --> 01:04:08,512
What you had before
was way better than this.

906
01:04:08,720 --> 01:04:12,558
This sounds like
your overactive
honor-society brain.

907
01:04:13,183 --> 01:04:16,645
Instead of your nasty, wet

908
01:04:17,729 --> 01:04:19,231
dirty-girl panties.

909
01:04:20,107 --> 01:04:22,109
It should be more spontaneous.

910
01:04:25,070 --> 01:04:26,405
Stop.

911
01:04:26,530 --> 01:04:29,324
Maybe you should hang out
with your friend Matt
a little bit more.

912
01:04:29,408 --> 01:04:30,450
Yeah, right.

913
01:04:30,534 --> 01:04:34,079
I know he's a dick
and everything,
but he's also got one.

914
01:04:34,246 --> 01:04:38,542
Make some love music,
you know? And then your notes
will just cum to you.

915
01:04:39,126 --> 01:04:41,378
Oh, Matt!
Stop.

916
01:04:42,588 --> 01:04:44,089
Matt. Matt.

917
01:04:47,259 --> 01:04:49,761
Go long, you asshole. Go.

918
01:04:50,554 --> 01:04:52,431
Hey, Elyse.

919
01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:55,601
Throw it back. Come on.

920
01:04:56,435 --> 01:04:57,895
What you got?

921
01:05:01,189 --> 01:05:02,399
Oh! Oops!

922
01:05:05,611 --> 01:05:06,987
Missed. Sorry.

923
01:05:08,614 --> 01:05:10,324
Hey, if I have to ring
the triangle,

924
01:05:10,407 --> 01:05:12,326
you have to throw
the football, all right?
Okay.

925
01:05:12,409 --> 01:05:14,286
Draw your arm back.
There you go.

926
01:05:14,369 --> 01:05:18,123
Shoulder to your target.
Right. Okay,
now step forward.

927
01:05:18,206 --> 01:05:20,626
Come on we're not marching.
One foot.

928
01:05:20,709 --> 01:05:23,629
Argh. Okay.
You're fine. Ready?
There you go.

929
01:05:23,837 --> 01:05:25,380
Draw the ball
over your ear

930
01:05:25,464 --> 01:05:28,800
and when you throw it,
let it roll right off
your fingers, all right?

931
01:05:29,676 --> 01:05:30,802
Okay.

932
01:05:31,136 --> 01:05:32,638
Come on, throw it.

933
01:05:38,518 --> 01:05:40,312
See? I taught you something.
What?

934
01:05:40,395 --> 01:05:42,898
So every time I throw it,
you're gonna run
and go get it?

935
01:05:42,981 --> 01:05:44,733
That's generally how it works.

936
01:05:44,816 --> 01:05:46,652
Like playing fetch
with my dog.

937
01:05:46,735 --> 01:05:50,530
Yeah, except I don't lick
my own balls.
You would if you could.

938
01:05:50,864 --> 01:05:51,907
Oh, yeah.

939
01:05:53,533 --> 01:05:54,701
Okay, again.

940
01:05:55,661 --> 01:05:56,870
Right here.

941
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:00,707
Look, that one looks
like a bunny.

942
01:06:01,041 --> 01:06:03,043
- No, it doesn't.
- Uh-huh.

943
01:06:04,378 --> 01:06:06,463
Maybe a bunny with one nut.

944
01:06:06,672 --> 01:06:09,424
No, that's its tail.
Whatever you say.

945
01:06:12,803 --> 01:06:15,889
You think
we'll win this thing?
Hell, yeah, we will.

946
01:06:16,014 --> 01:06:17,849
If you write
in a bagpipe part.

947
01:06:17,933 --> 01:06:20,227
Oh, God, I'll never
make that mistake again.

948
01:06:20,394 --> 01:06:23,438
What?
The eighth grade recital.

949
01:06:24,481 --> 01:06:26,942
You made me write in
a part for you.

950
01:06:29,236 --> 01:06:31,196
You wore your kilt.

951
01:06:32,572 --> 01:06:35,075
Yeah, Steve showed up
with his friends.

952
01:06:35,701 --> 01:06:37,911
They gave me so much shit
for that.

953
01:06:38,245 --> 01:06:40,622
I didn't come out
of my room for days.

954
01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:44,126
You made it up to him
by stealing
all my underwear

955
01:06:44,209 --> 01:06:46,586
so you could run them up
the flagpole.

956
01:06:47,546 --> 01:06:49,381
Including my training bras.

957
01:06:52,467 --> 01:06:55,095
Okay, since we're having
some big fucking
Oprah moment here...

958
01:06:55,178 --> 01:06:57,222
I'm sorry
about your underwear.

959
01:06:57,347 --> 01:06:58,974
And the diary.

960
01:07:01,727 --> 01:07:03,729
And all that other shit, too.

961
01:07:44,061 --> 01:07:45,145
That's it.

962
01:07:45,729 --> 01:07:48,565
You started it.
This is gonna get me
that scholarship.

963
01:07:48,648 --> 01:07:49,691
What?

964
01:07:49,775 --> 01:07:52,444
Oh, I've got to go write
this down
before I forget.

965
01:07:54,112 --> 01:07:55,697
Hey, hey, hey!

966
01:07:56,156 --> 01:07:57,157
Uh...

967
01:07:57,407 --> 01:07:59,409
Could we do this again
tomorrow night?

968
01:07:59,493 --> 01:08:02,454
Yeah, sure.
I'll see you here at sunset.

969
01:08:02,579 --> 01:08:04,039
Hey. Um...

970
01:08:05,248 --> 01:08:07,709
Should I bring that
Picardo thing?

971
01:08:07,793 --> 01:08:10,045
Okay, I'll do a solo for you.

972
01:08:12,547 --> 01:08:13,673
Hey...

973
01:08:20,222 --> 01:08:21,932
- What's up, Ernie?
- Hey.

974
01:08:40,951 --> 01:08:42,953
It was that
fugly nurse again.

975
01:08:58,051 --> 01:08:59,886
Oh, my God.

976
01:08:59,970 --> 01:09:01,304
Matt Stifler?

977
01:09:02,055 --> 01:09:06,768
Holy shit, look at you.
Arianna,
what are you doing here?

978
01:09:06,852 --> 01:09:10,188
We practice our routine
with the band.
What are you doing here?

979
01:09:10,313 --> 01:09:12,691
I had to come.
The school made me.

980
01:09:13,692 --> 01:09:17,112
Does anybody know
about this yet?
Oh, they do now.

981
01:09:18,155 --> 01:09:21,283
Hey, come on, no pictures.
What're you,
the papa-tit-zzy?

982
01:09:21,366 --> 01:09:23,118
Holy shit,
this is so hilarious.
Smile.

983
01:09:23,201 --> 01:09:27,038
Ladies.
No time for fraternizing.

984
01:09:28,039 --> 01:09:32,169
Get the bags.
Guess I'll see you around,
bandy.

985
01:09:32,335 --> 01:09:36,548
What a dork.
I'm going to email this
to everybody.

986
01:09:58,904 --> 01:10:01,740
Girls, that was great.
Percussion, take five.

987
01:10:01,823 --> 01:10:03,575
Horns, we've got to work
on intonation.

988
01:10:03,658 --> 01:10:06,244
The final performance
is tomorrow, you guys.

989
01:10:07,078 --> 01:10:08,914
They're so lame.

990
01:10:09,915 --> 01:10:12,334
You play the triangle.
How cute.

991
01:10:13,168 --> 01:10:16,338
No, I don't.
Look, I told you...

992
01:10:17,005 --> 01:10:18,340
- I had to...
- I gotta go.

993
01:10:18,423 --> 01:10:21,760
I don't socialize
with bandies.
I'm not a fucking bandy.

994
01:10:22,093 --> 01:10:25,764
I'm not. Look.
I've just been acting
like a geek.

995
01:10:26,097 --> 01:10:29,017
I've been playing them
so I could get them
on hidden video.

996
01:10:29,100 --> 01:10:32,687
I've been secretly
videotaping them
doing all this crazy shit.

997
01:10:33,605 --> 01:10:36,608
Really?
Yeah, I could show you.

998
01:10:39,277 --> 01:10:41,613
Okay, come by after dinner.

999
01:10:42,113 --> 01:10:44,741
I'll leave my pompoms
in the window for you.

1000
01:11:18,066 --> 01:11:19,234
You're late.

1001
01:11:19,317 --> 01:11:21,361
Yeah, no shit.
Open the window.

1002
01:11:24,197 --> 01:11:26,116
Hold on. Be careful with it.

1003
01:11:35,333 --> 01:11:38,586
All right, one condition
before I show you
the fruits of my labors.

1004
01:11:38,670 --> 01:11:39,879
What's that?

1005
01:11:40,088 --> 01:11:42,465
I want that picture
on that camera phone erased.

1006
01:11:54,686 --> 01:11:55,937
<i>Nobody at school hears</i>

1007
01:11:56,021 --> 01:11:57,814
<i>about the triangle
or the beanie.</i>

1008
01:11:57,897 --> 01:12:00,525
<i>I don't want anybody
to think
I'm a dorky-ass bandy</i>

1009
01:12:00,608 --> 01:12:02,527
<i>Fine. Like,
now can we get on with it?</i>

1010
01:12:02,610 --> 01:12:05,613
As soon as you get rid of that
picture of me on your phone.

1011
01:12:20,462 --> 01:12:21,671
<i>Are you going into town?</i>

1012
01:12:21,755 --> 01:12:23,298
<i>Not tonight. I'm too tired.</i>

1013
01:12:23,381 --> 01:12:26,009
Besides,
they're much hotter here.

1014
01:12:26,092 --> 01:12:29,012
I know.
It's a great crop this year.

1015
01:12:43,818 --> 01:12:47,739
There. Done deal.
Now can we see the video?

1016
01:12:48,615 --> 01:12:49,991
Stiffmeister Productions

1017
01:12:50,075 --> 01:12:53,661
in association with
its talented new director,
Matthew Stifler,

1018
01:12:53,745 --> 01:12:55,747
is happy to premier
the unedited,

1019
01:12:55,830 --> 01:13:00,293
unfiltered,
and un-fucking-believable
<i>Bandeez Gone Wild.</i>

1020
01:13:01,628 --> 01:13:02,837
Oh, yeah.

1021
01:13:07,133 --> 01:13:10,678
Oh, my God.
That is unbelievable.

1022
01:13:33,576 --> 01:13:36,121
- You're kidding me, right?
- That's great.

1023
01:13:37,372 --> 01:13:38,748
<i>Danielle likes Jimmy,</i>

1024
01:13:38,832 --> 01:13:40,583
<i>but she's like
a foot taller than him.</i>

1025
01:13:40,667 --> 01:13:42,085
And wait till you hear this.

1026
01:13:42,210 --> 01:13:44,754
Sheree slept with that
big Oscar guy, the drummer.

1027
01:13:44,879 --> 01:13:46,381
Said he was amazing.

1028
01:13:46,923 --> 01:13:50,135
Well, I hooked up
with Brandon once.
Some drummer. He has

1029
01:13:50,218 --> 01:13:52,137
<i>no rhythm,
and he can't even bang
very long.</i>

1030
01:13:52,220 --> 01:13:54,013
<i>Oh, my God.
Are you serious?</i>

1031
01:13:54,097 --> 01:13:58,226
<i>Yeah, he's a preemie.
And I'm not talking about
the day he was born, either.</i>

1032
01:13:59,978 --> 01:14:02,814
Can you get my back?
I think I got a little bit
of sun today?

1033
01:14:02,897 --> 01:14:03,982
Sure.

1034
01:14:04,065 --> 01:14:06,901
Get this. He has one ball.

1035
01:14:07,444 --> 01:14:09,779
No way.
One ball.

1036
01:14:11,239 --> 01:14:14,409
Yeah, that's why he carries
that big stick around
everywhere.

1037
01:14:14,492 --> 01:14:16,536
It's got his other ball
on top.

1038
01:14:20,832 --> 01:14:22,584
Shit, shit, oh, shit.

1039
01:14:25,879 --> 01:14:27,380
What is that thing?

1040
01:14:41,436 --> 01:14:42,770
Let's kill it.

1041
01:14:43,271 --> 01:14:44,272
Where'd he go?

1042
01:14:44,355 --> 01:14:45,356
There he is.

1043
01:14:45,440 --> 01:14:46,608
Look out.

1044
01:15:26,481 --> 01:15:28,399
This is going into the lake.

1045
01:15:29,442 --> 01:15:31,903
No one's gonna know
about your little video.

1046
01:15:31,986 --> 01:15:34,656
'Cause the shit
you got us doing on tape...

1047
01:15:39,661 --> 01:15:43,331
So we got a contest to win
tomorrow. And I don't want
to see you.

1048
01:15:43,748 --> 01:15:45,124
Understand?

1049
01:15:51,005 --> 01:15:52,465
Did you help him?

1050
01:16:17,282 --> 01:16:18,908
<i>With East Great Falls
in the lead,</i>

1051
01:16:18,992 --> 01:16:21,786
<i>Beechwood has to win
the Band Camp Playoffs.</i>

1052
01:16:21,869 --> 01:16:25,248
<i>Direct yourselves
to the marching field
in one hour.</i>

1053
01:16:25,540 --> 01:16:28,918
Now, Dr. Choi,
Brandon Vandecamp
from Beechwood

1054
01:16:29,002 --> 01:16:31,296
is our best musician by far

1055
01:16:31,379 --> 01:16:36,301
and his father, Landon,
is our best donor,
also by far.

1056
01:16:37,468 --> 01:16:39,512
Robards needs talented musicians

1057
01:16:39,596 --> 01:16:42,223
as much as
we need talented donors.

1058
01:16:49,022 --> 01:16:50,356
Ipecac.

1059
01:16:52,734 --> 01:16:55,987
So how's it going?
Are you having fun?
It's okay.

1060
01:17:01,367 --> 01:17:03,661
How about some Ipecac,
Vande-cooch?

1061
01:17:06,581 --> 01:17:10,460
This herbal fucking extract
will help you Beechwood fief
play in tune, huh?

1062
01:17:12,003 --> 01:17:13,046
Shit.

1063
01:17:20,511 --> 01:17:21,512
Hey!

1064
01:17:22,513 --> 01:17:24,932
I told you
I don't want to see you
anymore, Stifler.

1065
01:17:25,016 --> 01:17:27,185
Someday,
you'll thank me, asshole.

1066
01:17:31,981 --> 01:17:33,024
Orange?

1067
01:17:33,816 --> 01:17:34,942
Again?

1068
01:17:35,234 --> 01:17:37,278
Damn.
That orange shit is janky.

1069
01:17:37,362 --> 01:17:39,280
I'm feeling grape, dawg.

1070
01:17:42,158 --> 01:17:44,118
I don't care how
many times they won.

1071
01:17:44,202 --> 01:17:46,120
They're not getting
the grape today.

1072
01:17:46,204 --> 01:17:48,581
That's what I'm talking about.

1073
01:17:50,249 --> 01:17:53,127
<i>Your five-time
defending champion,</i>

1074
01:17:53,753 --> 01:17:55,588
<i>Beechwood Academy.</i>

1075
01:18:27,578 --> 01:18:28,621
They're tight.

1076
01:18:28,705 --> 01:18:30,998
Yeah, they're better
than ever this year.

1077
01:18:31,082 --> 01:18:32,542
Okay, everybody.

1078
01:18:33,042 --> 01:18:35,253
It's no surprise
Beechwood is good.

1079
01:18:35,586 --> 01:18:39,132
But this year is different.
This year, we can beat them.

1080
01:18:40,091 --> 01:18:43,261
We've worked hard,
and we are good enough

1081
01:18:43,386 --> 01:18:45,930
and this is our time,
so let's win the cup.

1082
01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:48,224
Yeah!

1083
01:19:23,009 --> 01:19:24,719
<i>Beechwood Academy.</i>

1084
01:19:24,802 --> 01:19:28,347
<i>Their music today was composed
by senior drum major,</i>

1085
01:19:28,431 --> 01:19:30,391
<i>Brandon Vandecamp.</i>

1086
01:19:30,558 --> 01:19:32,685
Beat that. Hoo, ha.

1087
01:19:34,645 --> 01:19:38,191
<i>East Great Falls,
you may enter the field for competition.</i>

1088
01:19:55,500 --> 01:19:58,669
- Band 10 hut. One, two, ready.
- Shit.

1089
01:19:58,753 --> 01:20:00,338
Leesy, wait, no.

1090
01:20:00,421 --> 01:20:02,465
No. Wait.

1091
01:20:12,892 --> 01:20:15,102
You know, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what happened.

1092
01:20:15,186 --> 01:20:17,355
Not my shoes. Here we go.

1093
01:20:22,193 --> 01:20:23,277
Stifler!

1094
01:20:40,962 --> 01:20:43,381
<i>You know, you're like
your brother, Steve.</i>

1095
01:20:43,464 --> 01:20:46,259
<i>And I don't think those
are the shoes you should be
so eager to fill.</i>

1096
01:20:47,051 --> 01:20:50,137
You know, the people
Steve thought
were his friends

1097
01:20:50,263 --> 01:20:52,890
really didn't like him
very much.
What?

1098
01:20:52,974 --> 01:20:54,433
But I think you're different.

1099
01:20:54,517 --> 01:20:58,771
I think people want
to like you, Matt.
You just make it really hard.

1100
01:21:09,949 --> 01:21:11,158
Hoo! Ha!

1101
01:21:13,202 --> 01:21:17,081
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
When you're a loser.

1102
01:21:23,462 --> 01:21:27,717
Mr. Levenstein reports that
there were a few incidents

1103
01:21:27,800 --> 01:21:29,135
at camp.

1104
01:21:29,635 --> 01:21:32,138
But he also says that

1105
01:21:32,263 --> 01:21:35,975
you bonded
with the band briefly.

1106
01:21:40,062 --> 01:21:44,317
When school starts,
you're going to be
on a very short leash.

1107
01:21:44,483 --> 01:21:48,279
Remember, the Shermanator
sees it all.

1108
01:21:49,989 --> 01:21:51,282
Be gone.

1109
01:21:56,162 --> 01:21:58,372
Did everybody hate my brother?

1110
01:22:09,759 --> 01:22:13,220
Stardate, August 21, 2005.

1111
01:22:13,679 --> 01:22:16,057
Some progress made
with Stiffy Junior.

1112
01:22:16,515 --> 01:22:18,935
Behavior modification evident.

1113
01:22:20,394 --> 01:22:22,188
Will continue to monitor.

1114
01:22:22,772 --> 01:22:25,024
Shermanator out.

1115
01:22:36,202 --> 01:22:38,621
A little "Double-D Sheree"
action.

1116
01:22:43,209 --> 01:22:45,086
Little bit of Dr. Robot.

1117
01:22:46,921 --> 01:22:48,255
Crazy fucker.

1118
01:23:56,699 --> 01:23:58,034
Hey, Stifler,
where's your instrument?

1119
01:23:58,117 --> 01:23:59,326
Dude,
you're in the wrong uniform.

1120
01:23:59,410 --> 01:24:02,288
Screw them, dude.
They're gonna freak out
when they see the video.

1121
01:24:02,371 --> 01:24:04,540
Look, we thought
that if we had
an advance screening,

1122
01:24:04,623 --> 01:24:06,709
then everyone would see
that you're not really a dork.

1123
01:24:06,792 --> 01:24:09,211
I can't. It's gone.

1124
01:24:10,254 --> 01:24:13,424
What?
The video, man, I deleted it.

1125
01:24:14,425 --> 01:24:15,468
Why?

1126
01:24:16,385 --> 01:24:19,055
Guess little bro's quitting
the family business.

1127
01:24:19,138 --> 01:24:20,639
Are you kidding me?

1128
01:24:24,143 --> 01:24:26,103
He went fucking
bandy on us.

1129
01:24:42,495 --> 01:24:43,996
Hey, what's up, guys?

1130
01:24:44,830 --> 01:24:46,791
You a dead man, motherfucker.

1131
01:24:47,583 --> 01:24:49,585
You, too, little man.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

1132
01:24:49,919 --> 01:24:53,798
Dude, the purple puke
was an accident.
Somebody switched the coolers.

1133
01:24:58,511 --> 01:25:00,679
Hey, that orange shit
is janky, yo.

1134
01:25:01,931 --> 01:25:06,393
Chloe, we never saw Elyse,
you know, naked.

1135
01:25:07,061 --> 01:25:09,021
Matt turned off the computer.

1136
01:25:09,897 --> 01:25:12,525
So we're just supposed
to forgive him now?

1137
01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:16,112
He's still an asshole.
You're right.

1138
01:25:17,113 --> 01:25:18,447
I am an asshole.

1139
01:25:18,864 --> 01:25:21,117
I can't take back
spying on you

1140
01:25:21,200 --> 01:25:23,577
and I can't win
that Bandy Cup thing.

1141
01:25:23,702 --> 01:25:26,580
But I can help someone
get what she deserves.

1142
01:25:27,414 --> 01:25:29,583
I'm not asking you
to forgive me.

1143
01:25:29,792 --> 01:25:32,378
Just help me help Elyse.

1144
01:25:43,305 --> 01:25:44,682
I got the number.

1145
01:25:44,765 --> 01:25:45,808
Go ahead.

1146
01:25:45,891 --> 01:25:49,478
555-0171.

1147
01:25:51,397 --> 01:25:54,150
He shouldn't have been dumping
Ipecac in anyone's cooler.

1148
01:25:54,233 --> 01:25:56,068
We could've won on our own.

1149
01:25:58,404 --> 01:26:02,575
I don't even care
that he saw me on camera.
Well, I mean I do, but...

1150
01:26:03,826 --> 01:26:06,078
Honey, this just came for you.

1151
01:26:09,832 --> 01:26:11,292
It's from Robards.

1152
01:26:12,751 --> 01:26:14,044
What's it say?

1153
01:26:15,796 --> 01:26:18,382
Dr. Choi wants to meet
with me?

1154
01:26:36,233 --> 01:26:38,235
Okay.
Okay.

1155
01:26:38,444 --> 01:26:40,362
Okay.
Okay.

1156
01:26:42,031 --> 01:26:43,115
Bye.

1157
01:26:59,340 --> 01:27:01,759
Hi. Elyse Houston.

1158
01:27:03,010 --> 01:27:05,804
I have an appointment
with Dr. Choi.

1159
01:27:06,847 --> 01:27:10,476
You're not in the book.
Oh, no, there must be
some mistake. See...

1160
01:27:12,186 --> 01:27:13,562
I have a letter.

1161
01:27:19,151 --> 01:27:20,986
This letter is, well...

1162
01:27:21,737 --> 01:27:22,905
It's a fake.

1163
01:27:23,656 --> 01:27:26,617
This is not
Dr. Choi's signature.
What?

1164
01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:40,965
Stifler.

1165
01:27:44,718 --> 01:27:47,012
You son of a bitch.

1166
01:27:48,681 --> 01:27:53,018
What? It wasn't enough
for you to humiliate me
at Band Camp?

1167
01:27:53,143 --> 01:27:55,813
Now you have to
set me up here?

1168
01:28:16,333 --> 01:28:18,043
What's going on here?

1169
01:28:19,461 --> 01:28:20,921
This is my band.

1170
01:28:21,380 --> 01:28:23,257
And that's her music.

1171
01:29:21,607 --> 01:29:22,691
Well...

1172
01:29:23,275 --> 01:29:26,945
I've certainly seen
some interesting attempts
to gain admission,

1173
01:29:27,613 --> 01:29:29,281
but this is a first.

1174
01:29:30,783 --> 01:29:35,037
Excellent audition,
Miss Houston. Let's go
discuss that scholarship.

1175
01:29:35,621 --> 01:29:37,956
Um, I thought Brandon won.

1176
01:29:38,082 --> 01:29:41,377
No, Mr. Vandecamp
was disqualified
for plagiarism.

1177
01:29:41,460 --> 01:29:42,711
All right.

1178
01:29:44,797 --> 01:29:46,882
That's what
I'm talking about, yo.

1179
01:29:51,053 --> 01:29:53,430
Oh, my God, you guys,
that was amazing.

1180
01:29:53,972 --> 01:29:58,060
Thank you so much.
Thank him. It was his idea.

1181
01:29:58,143 --> 01:29:59,144
Word.

1182
01:30:01,980 --> 01:30:05,609
You planned all this?
With some friends.

1183
01:30:08,821 --> 01:30:10,155
Come here.

1184
01:30:10,614 --> 01:30:12,116
Ow.

1185
01:30:13,242 --> 01:30:17,121
Oh, I believe this is yours.

1186
01:30:18,247 --> 01:30:19,415
You know...

1187
01:30:20,124 --> 01:30:24,169
Picardo is a brand of piccolo.

1188
01:30:25,129 --> 01:30:27,464
You really are an asshole
sometimes...

1189
01:30:27,840 --> 01:30:28,924
Stiffy.

1190
01:33:49,875 --> 01:33:52,044
<i>Man, change the channel, yo.</i>

1191
01:33:52,336 --> 01:33:55,088
<i>Hook a brother up
with some mad beats.</i>

1192
01:33:55,172 --> 01:33:56,840
<i>Will you cut that out?</i>

1193
01:33:57,341 --> 01:33:59,509
<i>Your name is
James Hi Ping Chong.</i>

1194
01:33:59,635 --> 01:34:01,261
<i>Your dad owns
a Chinese restaurant.</i>

1195
01:34:01,345 --> 01:34:04,056
<i>You live in the suburbs.
You ain't never gonna
be a gangsta.</i>

1196
01:34:04,681 --> 01:34:05,724
<i>Damn!</i>

1197
01:34:08,393 --> 01:34:09,686
<i>That's cold, dawg.</i>