WEBVTT FILE 2 00:00:25.693 --> 00:00:29.864 Mysteries in History, with your host, Peter Graves. 3 00:00:30.031 --> 00:00:33.951 Although no one has ever been able to prove their existence, 4 00:00:34.118 --> 00:00:37.288 a quasi-government agency, the Men in Black, 5 00:00:37.455 --> 00:00:40.791 supposedly carries out operations here on Earth 6 00:00:40.958 --> 00:00:45.046 in order to keep us safe from aliens throughout the galaxies. 7 00:00:45.212 --> 00:00:48.716 Here is one of their stories that "never happened" 8 00:00:48.883 --> 00:00:53.095 from one of their files that doesn't exist. 9 00:00:53.679 --> 00:00:57.850 1978. The leaders of Zartha flee their planet 10 00:00:58.017 --> 00:01:03.272 in order to escape the clutches of the evil Kylothian, Serleena. 11 00:01:03.773 --> 00:01:07.651 - Arriving on Earth, the Zarthans bring- 12 00:01:08.027 --> 00:01:12.073 The Light of Zartha, a cosmic force so powerful, 13 00:01:12.239 --> 00:01:16.786 that in the wrong hands it could lead to the annihilation of Zartha. 14 00:01:17.286 --> 00:01:20.664 The Zarthans' princess, Lauranna, beseeched the Men in Black, 15 00:01:20.831 --> 00:01:23.209 to hide the Light from Serleena. 16 00:01:23.709 --> 00:01:25.669 But they had no choice. 17 00:01:25.836 --> 00:01:29.340 Intervention would have meant the destruction of the Earth. 18 00:01:30.716 --> 00:01:35.846 However, in an act of galactic bravery, the Men in Black subdued Serleena, 19 00:01:36.013 --> 00:01:38.224 allowing the Zarthans to escape 20 00:01:38.390 --> 00:01:42.061 so they might hide the Light on another planet. 21 00:01:43.187 --> 00:01:47.858 Serleena, released from her captors, vowed that the Light would be hers, 22 00:01:48.025 --> 00:01:52.947 and that she would destroy any planet that stood in her way. 23 00:01:54.156 --> 00:01:56.909 And so, never knowing what happened, 24 00:01:57.076 --> 00:02:02.289 the people of Earth were saved by a secret society of protectors 25 00:02:02.456 --> 00:02:05.543 known as the Men in Black. 26 00:03:44.683 --> 00:03:46.560 Harvey! 27 00:03:47.645 --> 00:03:50.189 Harvey, get over here! 28 00:03:50.648 --> 00:03:52.858 Harvey. Heel, heel! 29 00:03:53.025 --> 00:03:55.277 You're barking at the moon, moron. 30 00:03:55.444 --> 00:03:57.196 Harvey. Harvey! 31 00:03:57.363 --> 00:03:58.572 Harvey! 32 00:05:58.525 --> 00:06:00.319 Hey, pretty lady. 33 00:06:01.278 --> 00:06:02.946 You taste good. 34 00:06:07.117 --> 00:06:08.160 Hey, what the...? 35 00:06:13.499 --> 00:06:15.918 Yeah, you too. 36 00:07:04.967 --> 00:07:07.428 Nothing fancy, no heroics. By the book. 37 00:07:07.594 --> 00:07:09.054 Got it. Hey! 38 00:07:09.221 --> 00:07:12.516 Ooh. Hey, Jeff. What's happening, buddy? 39 00:07:12.683 --> 00:07:16.687 We were wondering why you're here. The man's talking to you. 40 00:07:17.020 --> 00:07:21.108 You know our arrangements. Stay in the E, F and R subway lines 41 00:07:21.275 --> 00:07:23.694 and you get all the garbage you want. 42 00:07:23.861 --> 00:07:26.572 What the hell are you doing here, worm boy? 43 00:07:26.738 --> 00:07:29.741 Uh, Tee. Jeff, uh... 44 00:07:29.908 --> 00:07:32.119 Excuse my partner. He's new and he's... 45 00:07:37.082 --> 00:07:39.209 - ...Kind of stupid. - Whoa! 46 00:07:45.966 --> 00:07:48.927 You getting big, Jeff. Boy, what you been eating? 47 00:07:52.264 --> 00:07:54.308 Oh. You like jokes, huh? 48 00:07:57.436 --> 00:07:59.021 Jeffrey! 49 00:08:04.860 --> 00:08:05.986 Ah! 50 00:08:06.153 --> 00:08:07.404 All right. 51 00:08:08.864 --> 00:08:10.699 Sweet dreams, big boy. 52 00:08:45.734 --> 00:08:47.277 Sweet dreams... 53 00:08:52.032 --> 00:08:53.492 ...big boy. 54 00:08:53.659 --> 00:08:56.453 Transit authority. Move to the forward car. 55 00:08:56.620 --> 00:08:59.206 We got a bug in the electrical system. 56 00:09:00.541 --> 00:09:06.296 Yo! People! We got a bug in the electrical system! 57 00:09:10.133 --> 00:09:11.843 Now y'all running'? 58 00:09:12.010 --> 00:09:13.720 No, no, no! Sit down! 59 00:09:13.887 --> 00:09:15.847 It's only a 600-foot worm. 60 00:09:19.142 --> 00:09:23.188 Everybody out before I knock heads. Put the hammer down on this thing. 61 00:09:23.355 --> 00:09:26.483 I'm Captain Larry Bridgewater. I decide what happens. 62 00:09:26.650 --> 00:09:29.653 Oh, oh. You decide? Oh. Okay, come here. Come here. 63 00:09:29.820 --> 00:09:31.863 Larry? That's my man, Jeff. 64 00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:39.371 Larry just made a decision. Larry need to take his ass in there. 65 00:09:46.878 --> 00:09:49.339 Don't make me do this, Jeff! 66 00:10:15.198 --> 00:10:17.034 Eighty-first Street. 67 00:10:21.079 --> 00:10:22.205 Just a second. 68 00:10:23.540 --> 00:10:26.376 May I have your attention, please? 69 00:10:26.918 --> 00:10:29.796 We thank you for participating in our drill. 70 00:10:29.963 --> 00:10:33.050 Had this been an emergency, you'd have been eaten. 71 00:10:33.216 --> 00:10:35.761 Because you don't listen. You're ignorant. 72 00:10:35.927 --> 00:10:40.098 How a man gonna bash through...? That's the problem with New Yorkers. 73 00:10:40.265 --> 00:10:43.894 "We've seen it all. A 600-foot worm! Save us, Mr. Black Man!" 74 00:10:44.061 --> 00:10:48.273 I ask you nice, "Move to the next car." You just sit there like... 75 00:10:50.233 --> 00:10:51.902 Thank you for participating. 76 00:10:52.069 --> 00:10:55.947 Hopefully, you enjoyed our smaller, energy-efficient subway cars. 77 00:10:56.406 --> 00:10:59.534 Watch your step. You will have a nice evening. 78 00:11:03.080 --> 00:11:06.708 I need a cleanup crew at 81st and Central Park West. 79 00:11:06.875 --> 00:11:09.378 Revoke Jeff's movement privileges. 80 00:11:09.544 --> 00:11:12.381 Have him escorted to the Chambers Street station. 81 00:11:12.547 --> 00:11:17.511 And please check the expiration date on the unipod worm tranquilizers. 82 00:11:21.848 --> 00:11:23.684 Sorry, fellas. Station closed. 83 00:11:23.975 --> 00:11:28.230 Emergency drill. For your safety. Do you believe these putzes? 84 00:11:29.815 --> 00:11:31.316 You're welcome. 85 00:11:44.996 --> 00:11:47.249 I know, by the book. 86 00:11:47.416 --> 00:11:51.878 Tee, when was the last time we just looked at the stars? 87 00:11:52.045 --> 00:11:55.048 This is a test. I can do this. 88 00:11:57.467 --> 00:12:00.053 Ever feel like you're alone in the universe? 89 00:12:00.220 --> 00:12:01.722 Yes. 90 00:12:03.724 --> 00:12:05.350 No. 91 00:12:07.644 --> 00:12:10.647 Hey, let me buy you a piece of pie. Really? 92 00:12:11.398 --> 00:12:12.649 Thanks. 93 00:12:13.400 --> 00:12:16.153 Hey, you're not alone in the universe. 94 00:12:16.319 --> 00:12:18.530 Remove the arm. Okay. 95 00:12:21.533 --> 00:12:23.827 Please, shut up, Charlie. 96 00:12:23.994 --> 00:12:27.414 I'm tired of you constantly talking behind my back. 97 00:12:29.166 --> 00:12:33.044 You meet a girl. She's into it. The best line you come up with is: 98 00:12:33.211 --> 00:12:36.298 "Wanna come back to my place for some tonsil hockey and egg salad?" 99 00:12:36.465 --> 00:12:39.342 Whoa! Who are you and how'd you get in? 100 00:12:39.509 --> 00:12:41.178 You like egg salad? 101 00:12:44.473 --> 00:12:45.849 Serleena! 102 00:12:46.016 --> 00:12:49.269 Why didn't you say it was you? 103 00:12:50.061 --> 00:12:52.647 - Where's the Light? - Here's the deal. 104 00:12:52.814 --> 00:12:55.192 You're looking for this Light. We found it. 105 00:12:55.358 --> 00:12:59.654 You want it, it'll cost you 50 mill. Here's how it'll work. First... 106 00:12:59.821 --> 00:13:02.365 Where is the Light? 107 00:13:07.704 --> 00:13:12.042 We couldn't find it, but we found a guy who might know where it is. 108 00:13:12.209 --> 00:13:15.253 He runs a pizza parlor on Spring Street. 109 00:13:16.546 --> 00:13:20.383 Let's go. And wipe your nose, idiot. 110 00:13:25.597 --> 00:13:29.559 Mmm. Oh. Good pie. Yeah. 111 00:13:31.061 --> 00:13:32.562 Crowded. 112 00:13:32.729 --> 00:13:34.523 Well, they got good pie. 113 00:13:39.986 --> 00:13:41.321 What is wrong with you? 114 00:13:41.488 --> 00:13:43.698 You're gonna neuralyze me. No, I'm not. 115 00:13:43.865 --> 00:13:46.409 You took me here so I wouldn't make a scene. 116 00:13:46.576 --> 00:13:48.411 You making a scene. 117 00:13:49.079 --> 00:13:52.415 Let me ask you a question. Why did you join MiB? 118 00:13:52.582 --> 00:13:56.127 Six years in the Marines. I like the action. Protect the planet. 119 00:13:56.294 --> 00:13:59.589 You like being a hero? You joined the wrong organization. 120 00:14:00.298 --> 00:14:03.760 You ever heard of James Edwards? No. 121 00:14:04.219 --> 00:14:07.931 Well, he saved the lives of 85 people on the subway tonight. 122 00:14:08.098 --> 00:14:10.141 No one knows he exists. 123 00:14:10.642 --> 00:14:14.563 And if no one knows he exists, how can anyone ever love him? 124 00:14:19.317 --> 00:14:21.570 Hey, how long we been partners? 125 00:14:21.736 --> 00:14:24.698 Feb 1. Five months, three days. 126 00:14:24.865 --> 00:14:27.576 Started at noon. Nine hours. 127 00:14:34.624 --> 00:14:37.085 Get married. Have a bunch of kids. 128 00:14:37.586 --> 00:14:39.254 Okay. 129 00:14:41.965 --> 00:14:47.512 Excuse me. My buddy's kind of shy, but he thinks you are hot. 130 00:14:52.809 --> 00:14:55.312 Here it is. Ta-da. 131 00:14:55.478 --> 00:14:57.147 Ben, I don't know what to say. 132 00:14:57.314 --> 00:15:00.025 Years from now, you know what people'll say? 133 00:15:00.191 --> 00:15:03.528 "Employee" is spelled wrong? Eh, they charge by the letter. 134 00:15:03.695 --> 00:15:07.824 They'll say, "imagine that. Big shot like her used to work here." 135 00:15:07.991 --> 00:15:09.409 Ben... You deserve it. 136 00:15:09.576 --> 00:15:12.704 Bring up a case of Mountain Dew from the basement. 137 00:15:15.498 --> 00:15:17.292 Hey, Bruno. 138 00:15:18.293 --> 00:15:22.839 Two slices of pepperoni and information about the Light of Zartha. 139 00:15:23.006 --> 00:15:26.343 - Whoever you are, don't hurt me. - Where's the Light, Ben? 140 00:15:26.509 --> 00:15:28.136 I don't know what you're talking about. 141 00:15:28.303 --> 00:15:31.056 Let me down, ma'am. I want to report a robbery... 142 00:15:39.689 --> 00:15:41.316 There. 143 00:15:41.858 --> 00:15:43.151 Noise. 144 00:15:44.653 --> 00:15:46.112 Kitchen! Oh. 145 00:15:50.116 --> 00:15:52.202 You idiots see anything? 146 00:15:52.369 --> 00:15:55.413 Wind blew the door open. 147 00:15:56.081 --> 00:15:58.041 Nothing out of the ordinary. 148 00:15:58.416 --> 00:16:01.544 For 25 years, I've traveled the universe looking for it. 149 00:16:01.711 --> 00:16:04.673 But it never left Earth, did it? You kept it here. 150 00:16:04.839 --> 00:16:06.549 What are you talking about? 151 00:16:06.716 --> 00:16:09.260 I'm running out of time. Where's the Light? 152 00:16:09.427 --> 00:16:12.222 - I don't know what you mean. - Listen, Zarthan. 153 00:16:12.389 --> 00:16:14.975 You hid the Light on Earth. I'll find it. 154 00:16:15.141 --> 00:16:18.687 Once we have the Light, Zartha will be ours. 155 00:16:18.853 --> 00:16:21.398 You're too late. Tomorrow at midnight, 156 00:16:21.564 --> 00:16:25.110 the Light will leave the third planet and be back home. 157 00:16:25.276 --> 00:16:27.612 Sorry you made the trip for nothing. 158 00:16:37.831 --> 00:16:40.417 Now we don't know if it's on Earth or not. 159 00:16:40.583 --> 00:16:42.961 He said third planet. It's here, you idiot. 160 00:16:43.128 --> 00:16:46.840 Third Rock from the Sun. I never got that till now. 161 00:16:47.340 --> 00:16:51.219 It's on Earth, and I know who's gonna tell me where it is. 162 00:17:16.036 --> 00:17:18.705 Don't you ever go home? Nope. 163 00:17:18.872 --> 00:17:21.666 I see you neuralyzed another partner. 164 00:17:28.256 --> 00:17:30.925 Bee, Dee, when you use a fission carbonizer, 165 00:17:31.092 --> 00:17:34.804 attach a de-atomizer so it doesn't sound like a cannon. 166 00:17:34.971 --> 00:17:38.308 Hey, get some booties on them things. You're crapping up the floor. 167 00:17:42.687 --> 00:17:44.105 Check his visa. 168 00:17:44.272 --> 00:17:48.443 The Cephalopods have been making counterfeits at Kinko's on Canal. 169 00:17:48.610 --> 00:17:53.865 Why do I have a dead Tricrainasloph going through passport control? 170 00:17:54.032 --> 00:17:58.203 That'd be my fault. I'm very sorry. Please don't neuralyze me, sir. 171 00:17:58.369 --> 00:18:01.623 What's that supposed to mean? Nothing, sir. 172 00:18:05.418 --> 00:18:07.003 Good work in the subway. 173 00:18:07.170 --> 00:18:09.005 I remember Jeff when he was yea high. 174 00:18:09.172 --> 00:18:11.049 What you got for me? 175 00:18:11.216 --> 00:18:13.510 Look. See those guys in black suits? 176 00:18:13.676 --> 00:18:16.763 They work here. We got it covered. Zed, what you got? 177 00:18:16.930 --> 00:18:21.184 Dedication's one thing, but this job will eat you up and spit you out. 178 00:18:21.351 --> 00:18:24.312 You want to look like me when you hit 50... 179 00:18:25.605 --> 00:18:26.648 ish? 180 00:18:27.524 --> 00:18:29.734 I'll be in the gym if you need me. 181 00:18:30.360 --> 00:18:33.738 All right, there was a killing earlier. 177 Spring. 182 00:18:33.905 --> 00:18:35.198 Alien-on-alien. 183 00:18:35.365 --> 00:18:37.909 Take Tee with you and make a report. 184 00:18:38.076 --> 00:18:40.912 Um... Tee. Right. 185 00:18:41.079 --> 00:18:43.498 What happened... What happened with Tee... 186 00:18:43.665 --> 00:18:46.668 Passports. No rush. How they hanging, Jay? 187 00:18:46.835 --> 00:18:49.879 You have got to stop neuralyzing MiB personnel. 188 00:18:50.046 --> 00:18:52.257 He was crying in the middle of the diner. 189 00:18:52.423 --> 00:18:53.967 I hate that. 190 00:18:54.551 --> 00:18:56.761 And plus, you can't count Elle. 191 00:18:56.928 --> 00:18:59.889 She wanted to go back to the morgue. I helped her. 192 00:19:00.056 --> 00:19:02.934 You need a partner. I'm cool. 193 00:19:03.226 --> 00:19:05.228 I'll be his partner. 194 00:19:06.104 --> 00:19:09.107 Jay, wait up. I appreciate the shot, man. 195 00:19:09.274 --> 00:19:11.484 Thought I'd never get out. Lose the suit. 196 00:19:11.651 --> 00:19:13.862 Sure thing. Just going for the look. 197 00:19:14.028 --> 00:19:16.739 But if I say so myself, I find it slimming. 198 00:19:16.906 --> 00:19:19.534 Not that I've had problems with the ladies. 199 00:19:19.701 --> 00:19:21.286 When you get down to... Whoa. 200 00:19:21.452 --> 00:19:23.204 Nice sled, very swank. 201 00:19:23.371 --> 00:19:25.498 Heated seats? Sometimes I get hives. 202 00:19:46.936 --> 00:19:48.271 Frank! 203 00:19:49.230 --> 00:19:52.775 Bring your head in this window before I roll it up in there. 204 00:19:52.942 --> 00:19:54.319 Got it. 205 00:20:00.325 --> 00:20:01.784 Frank! 206 00:20:03.203 --> 00:20:04.996 My money? It's missionary. 207 00:20:05.163 --> 00:20:08.249 I was in the Bowery, and I meet this Great Dane. 208 00:20:08.416 --> 00:20:10.668 A little thick in the body, but pretty. 209 00:20:10.835 --> 00:20:13.963 That's just not appealing to me, man. Seriously. 210 00:20:14.130 --> 00:20:16.424 I say we do the good cop, bad cop thing. 211 00:20:16.591 --> 00:20:19.135 You interrogate the witness and I growl. Grrr! 212 00:20:19.302 --> 00:20:23.556 How about we do the good cop, dumb dog thing, and you just shut up? 213 00:20:23.723 --> 00:20:26.100 You got it, partner. Total silence. 214 00:20:26.267 --> 00:20:29.604 Absolute quiet. Not a word out of me. 215 00:20:30.313 --> 00:20:31.940 What do we got? 216 00:20:32.774 --> 00:20:33.816 Zip. 217 00:20:34.651 --> 00:20:37.528 What do we got? There's residue on the wall. 218 00:20:37.695 --> 00:20:42.617 We sent samples to Em for analysis. Hey, Jay, zero percent body fat. 219 00:20:45.370 --> 00:20:47.038 Funny. Witness? 220 00:20:47.956 --> 00:20:49.540 Girl. Saw everything. 221 00:20:50.333 --> 00:20:52.293 She's taking it well. 222 00:20:52.460 --> 00:20:56.631 I won't answer any more questions. I want to know what happened here. 223 00:20:56.965 --> 00:20:59.092 - I'll handle this one. - You got it. 224 00:20:59.259 --> 00:21:02.637 Alone. A talking dog might be a bit much for her now. 225 00:21:02.804 --> 00:21:04.847 What do you want me to do? 226 00:21:05.181 --> 00:21:06.349 Sniff around. 227 00:21:08.101 --> 00:21:09.352 What? 228 00:21:09.852 --> 00:21:10.979 Funny. 229 00:21:11.145 --> 00:21:13.606 Take a deep breath. Everything is all right. 230 00:21:13.773 --> 00:21:16.901 What part is she supposed to feel all right about? 231 00:21:20.154 --> 00:21:21.698 I'm Agent Jay. 232 00:21:21.864 --> 00:21:23.366 Tell me what you saw. 233 00:21:23.533 --> 00:21:26.035 A two-headed guy and a woman. Caucasian? 234 00:21:26.202 --> 00:21:29.205 Gray, with tentacles that she used to rip... 235 00:21:29.372 --> 00:21:30.456 His skin off. 236 00:21:30.623 --> 00:21:35.920 It's not skin. It's protoplasma polymer similar to the gum in baseball cards. 237 00:21:36.087 --> 00:21:38.673 What was the last thing you ate? Calzone. 238 00:21:38.840 --> 00:21:39.966 What time? Lunch. 239 00:21:40.133 --> 00:21:41.467 Spinach? Mushroom. 240 00:21:41.634 --> 00:21:43.219 Hm. 241 00:21:43.386 --> 00:21:44.929 You need pie. 242 00:21:45.888 --> 00:21:48.099 They kept asking Ben about a light. 243 00:21:48.266 --> 00:21:50.476 Light of Zartha, something like that. 244 00:21:50.977 --> 00:21:52.520 You okay? 245 00:21:52.687 --> 00:21:55.982 An hour ago, a man I've known my whole life vanished 246 00:21:56.149 --> 00:21:58.735 because of a woman with things coming out her fingers 247 00:21:58.901 --> 00:22:01.612 and a two-headed guy with the IQ of a cannoli. 248 00:22:01.779 --> 00:22:04.449 So yeah, everything's okay. 249 00:22:06.034 --> 00:22:09.746 When we're kids, before we're taught how to think, 250 00:22:09.912 --> 00:22:13.249 our hearts tell us there is something else out there. 251 00:22:13.416 --> 00:22:18.338 I know what I saw. Tell me what I'm supposed to believe. 252 00:22:23.968 --> 00:22:29.098 I'm a member of a secret organization that monitors alien activity on Earth. 253 00:22:29.265 --> 00:22:31.476 Ben was an alien. So were his killers. 254 00:22:31.642 --> 00:22:35.646 I don't know why they did it, but I promise I'm gonna find out. 255 00:22:36.939 --> 00:22:38.900 Okay. 256 00:22:39.275 --> 00:22:41.819 Okay? Okay. 257 00:22:43.237 --> 00:22:44.655 Okay. 258 00:22:47.700 --> 00:22:49.786 Uh... Uh... 259 00:22:49.952 --> 00:22:52.747 I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to... Kill me. 260 00:22:52.914 --> 00:22:54.457 No! Ha-ha. 261 00:22:54.624 --> 00:22:58.544 Just a little flash and everything goes back the way it was. 262 00:22:58.961 --> 00:23:02.298 After you flash me, 263 00:23:02.465 --> 00:23:04.926 if I see you again, will I know it's you? 264 00:23:05.093 --> 00:23:07.136 I'll see you. 265 00:23:09.806 --> 00:23:11.516 But you won't see me. 266 00:23:11.682 --> 00:23:13.768 Must be hard. 267 00:23:13.935 --> 00:23:15.812 Must be very lonely. 268 00:23:31.577 --> 00:23:32.620 Excuse me. 269 00:23:33.955 --> 00:23:36.958 I gotta go. What about the flashy thing? 270 00:23:37.125 --> 00:23:40.753 Uh... I'll flash you some other time. 271 00:23:58.855 --> 00:24:00.189 What? 272 00:24:04.694 --> 00:24:10.199 Did you tell the girl you love her? She's a witness to a crime. That's it. 273 00:24:10.408 --> 00:24:14.495 Yada, yada. You're attracted. She's not my species, and I'm attracted. 274 00:24:14.662 --> 00:24:18.624 I should take advice on love from a dude that chases his own ass? 275 00:24:18.791 --> 00:24:22.837 Easy, pal. That's canine profiling, and I resent it. 276 00:24:39.562 --> 00:24:40.897 Hey, Jay, wait up. 277 00:24:41.063 --> 00:24:44.066 Coming through. MiB brass. Look sharp. 278 00:24:44.233 --> 00:24:48.196 I'm Agent Eff, Jay's new partner. Who are you eyeballing, huh? 279 00:24:48.362 --> 00:24:50.615 Frank, just cool out, dog. 280 00:24:52.408 --> 00:24:53.951 Got kids? No. 281 00:24:54.118 --> 00:24:55.161 Want them? 282 00:24:58.789 --> 00:25:00.750 Get him off me! 283 00:25:09.133 --> 00:25:11.761 Talk to me. It's Kylothian, class C. 284 00:25:11.928 --> 00:25:12.970 Serleena. 285 00:25:13.137 --> 00:25:15.473 Serleena. Old girlfriend? She wishes. 286 00:25:15.640 --> 00:25:18.351 The perps were looking for the Light of... 287 00:25:18.518 --> 00:25:20.186 Zartha. Yeah, what is it? 288 00:25:20.353 --> 00:25:22.813 This makes no sense. It's not on Earth. 289 00:25:22.980 --> 00:25:26.275 We took care of this a long time ago. Obviously not. 290 00:25:26.442 --> 00:25:28.444 That is very bad news. 291 00:25:28.611 --> 00:25:32.323 The Zarthans came to Earth to hide the Light from Serleena. 292 00:25:32.490 --> 00:25:35.993 We don't do that. Right. I ordered it off the planet. 293 00:25:36.160 --> 00:25:37.787 Well, Zed... 294 00:25:37.954 --> 00:25:42.416 I got a Kylothian class C in my park. Are you sure this Light isn't here? 295 00:25:42.583 --> 00:25:46.170 Positive. I gave the order. My best agent carried it out. 296 00:25:46.337 --> 00:25:48.923 It's as if I gave the order to you. Ask the agent. 297 00:25:49.090 --> 00:25:50.174 Can't. Dead? 298 00:25:50.341 --> 00:25:52.718 Sort of. He works at the post office. 299 00:25:54.679 --> 00:25:55.805 No. 300 00:25:55.972 --> 00:25:58.641 If Serleena gets to Kay before we do, he's dead. 301 00:25:58.808 --> 00:26:01.852 The Earth's very existence may rest on what Kay knows. 302 00:26:02.019 --> 00:26:04.480 Too bad you wiped out his memory of it. 303 00:26:04.647 --> 00:26:06.148 Bring him in. 304 00:26:06.482 --> 00:26:07.525 Now. 305 00:26:07.692 --> 00:26:11.779 How cool is this? Going to get Kay. The legend, the go-to guy. 306 00:26:11.946 --> 00:26:14.490 Your mentor, the guy who taught you everything you know. 307 00:26:14.657 --> 00:26:19.287 - The greatest agent in MiB history! - Frank! Stop talking. 308 00:26:23.082 --> 00:26:24.375 Stay. 309 00:26:24.542 --> 00:26:28.296 Listen, partner. I may look like a dog, but I only play one here on Earth. 310 00:26:30.172 --> 00:26:33.050 Whatever. Wipe your mouth. Hey, babe. 311 00:26:39.181 --> 00:26:42.310 People of Truro, may I kindly have your attention? 312 00:26:42.476 --> 00:26:44.895 To facilitate your shipping needs, 313 00:26:45.062 --> 00:26:47.732 all packages must be properly wrapped. 314 00:26:47.898 --> 00:26:51.777 This one is an example of "go home and do it again." 315 00:26:51.944 --> 00:26:54.739 I think you know what I mean, Mrs. Vigushin. Heh, heh. 316 00:26:54.905 --> 00:26:59.785 Brown paper and triple-twist twine are the preferred media. 317 00:26:59.952 --> 00:27:01.704 Thank you for your time. 318 00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:05.791 Kay. C. Express mail, two-day air. 319 00:27:07.710 --> 00:27:10.379 Kevin. Heh. Wow. 320 00:27:10.546 --> 00:27:13.758 Kevin. That's funny. You don't have a "Kevin"... 321 00:27:16.510 --> 00:27:18.721 You don't remember. We worked together. 322 00:27:18.888 --> 00:27:23.017 I never worked in a funeral home. Something I can do for you, slick? 323 00:27:23.184 --> 00:27:24.810 Straight to the point. 324 00:27:25.561 --> 00:27:29.774 You were an agent of an organization that monitors aliens on Earth. 325 00:27:29.940 --> 00:27:34.028 We're the Men in Black. We have a situation. We need your help. 326 00:27:34.195 --> 00:27:37.907 There is a free mental health clinic on the corner of Lilac and East Valley. 327 00:27:38.074 --> 00:27:40.076 - Next. - Excuse me. 328 00:27:40.576 --> 00:27:42.620 - Twenty Rugrats stamps. - Elizabeth. 329 00:27:42.787 --> 00:27:47.083 The Postal Service hasn't kept up with today's youth, but we have 330 00:27:47.249 --> 00:27:49.919 Berlin airlift stamps. Opera legends? No. No. 331 00:27:50.086 --> 00:27:53.089 American Samoa? Amish quilts. No. 332 00:27:53.255 --> 00:27:55.966 I'm sorry, got a world to save here. 333 00:27:57.343 --> 00:27:59.387 There was no coma. It was a cover. 334 00:27:59.553 --> 00:28:01.347 Who are you? Who are you? 335 00:28:01.514 --> 00:28:05.810 Postmaster of Truro, Massachusetts, and I'm ordering you to leave. 336 00:28:08.729 --> 00:28:10.189 Is that decaf? Sorry. 337 00:28:10.356 --> 00:28:12.733 We have a breach. Cordon off this area. 338 00:28:12.900 --> 00:28:15.903 Full perimeter wipe-down, right here, right now. 339 00:28:16.070 --> 00:28:20.449 Get a mop and escort all civilian personnel from this site immediately. 340 00:28:20.616 --> 00:28:23.786 Listen to yourself, Kay. Who talks like that? 341 00:28:30.835 --> 00:28:32.211 Boo. 342 00:29:19.800 --> 00:29:22.678 Why do you think you're so comfortable here? 343 00:29:24.221 --> 00:29:27.850 Just about everybody who works in a post office is an alien. 344 00:29:35.733 --> 00:29:36.901 No smoking. 345 00:29:46.702 --> 00:29:47.828 Kay. 346 00:29:48.120 --> 00:29:51.749 My wife and I saw Siegfried and Roy fly a tiger around a room. 347 00:29:51.916 --> 00:29:53.417 You're nothing special. 348 00:29:53.584 --> 00:29:56.504 When you look at the stars, you get a feeling, 349 00:29:56.670 --> 00:29:58.672 like you don't know who you are. 350 00:29:58.839 --> 00:30:02.468 Like you know more about out there than you do down here. 351 00:30:02.635 --> 00:30:07.223 That's why she left you, Kay. That's why your wife left you. 352 00:30:09.225 --> 00:30:11.060 Okay, I'll tell you what. 353 00:30:11.227 --> 00:30:15.147 You want to know who you really are, take a ride with me. 354 00:30:15.314 --> 00:30:19.193 If not, people are waiting for their TV Guides. 355 00:30:22.363 --> 00:30:23.864 Think he'll bite? 356 00:30:29.745 --> 00:30:33.499 I'm just going for a ride. If things don't add up, it's hasta luego. 357 00:30:33.666 --> 00:30:35.251 Hey, Kay. 358 00:30:36.585 --> 00:30:38.838 How's it hanging? 359 00:30:53.143 --> 00:30:54.979 Good to see you, Kay. 360 00:30:55.145 --> 00:30:58.232 Good to see you too, whoever you are. 361 00:30:59.608 --> 00:31:03.779 Well, let's see what you got here, chief. 362 00:31:14.248 --> 00:31:16.542 Welcome back, Agent Kay. 363 00:31:17.793 --> 00:31:19.086 Agent Kay. 364 00:31:19.670 --> 00:31:21.714 Greetings, Kay. 365 00:31:23.966 --> 00:31:25.301 Wow, look who's back. 366 00:31:25.467 --> 00:31:28.012 I don't mean to bother you... You're Agent Kay! 367 00:31:28.178 --> 00:31:31.348 That's what they tell me. This is an honor. Agent Gee. 368 00:31:31.515 --> 00:31:33.976 The most respected agent in MiB history. 369 00:31:34.143 --> 00:31:36.645 The most feared human in the universe. 370 00:31:36.812 --> 00:31:39.815 Maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee? 371 00:31:39.982 --> 00:31:42.651 Black, two sugars, if you're going. An honor. 372 00:31:42.818 --> 00:31:46.155 - Yeah, I'll take a... My man? - Good to see you, Kay. 373 00:31:47.823 --> 00:31:49.241 How'd it go? 374 00:31:49.408 --> 00:31:51.869 The Drolacks are gone and the treaty is signed. 375 00:31:52.036 --> 00:31:53.078 Good work. 376 00:31:53.245 --> 00:31:56.540 What about that position you promised me in Men in Black? 377 00:31:56.707 --> 00:32:00.169 Still working on the alien affirmative action program. 378 00:32:00.336 --> 00:32:02.588 That's not what you promised me. 379 00:32:02.755 --> 00:32:04.840 You're breaking up Zed? Hello? 380 00:32:05.007 --> 00:32:08.260 I'll call you back. I could be Agent Em. Zed, you... 381 00:32:09.637 --> 00:32:14.141 I think Earth might be in a bad way. You're the only one that could save it. 382 00:32:14.308 --> 00:32:17.394 Well, neither rain, sleet, snow... Good man. 383 00:32:17.561 --> 00:32:21.482 Get him armed and up to speed and over to deneuralyzation. 384 00:32:22.650 --> 00:32:23.776 Frank? Yeah? 385 00:32:23.984 --> 00:32:25.945 I'm gonna need them together on this one. 386 00:32:26.111 --> 00:32:27.196 Ouch. 387 00:32:27.363 --> 00:32:31.033 I need an assistant. It's not field work, but you get dental. 388 00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:32.701 Dental? 389 00:32:35.454 --> 00:32:39.667 The most advanced technologies from all over the universe are in this room. 390 00:32:39.833 --> 00:32:41.001 What's this? 391 00:32:42.920 --> 00:32:45.297 All is lost! All is lost! 392 00:32:46.382 --> 00:32:47.925 Don't touch that! 393 00:32:48.884 --> 00:32:50.761 I didn't do anything. 394 00:32:50.928 --> 00:32:54.098 Hands in your pockets. 395 00:33:03.524 --> 00:33:05.693 Your favorite weapon. 396 00:33:08.445 --> 00:33:10.739 That? Yep. 397 00:33:11.240 --> 00:33:13.325 Let's go put it on. What? 398 00:33:13.492 --> 00:33:15.828 The last suit you'll ever wear. 399 00:33:15.995 --> 00:33:17.496 Again. 400 00:33:17.663 --> 00:33:18.998 The... 401 00:33:24.670 --> 00:33:26.005 The deneuralyzer. 402 00:33:27.589 --> 00:33:30.634 Magneto-energy will surge through your brain, 403 00:33:30.801 --> 00:33:35.431 unlocking information that could hold the key to Earth's very survival. 404 00:33:35.597 --> 00:33:38.267 Okay. What's that thing? 405 00:33:39.601 --> 00:33:41.645 The deneuralyzer. 406 00:33:49.111 --> 00:33:53.115 Welcome to planet Earth. There are some rules and regulations. 407 00:33:53.282 --> 00:33:54.700 Go out only at night. 408 00:33:54.867 --> 00:33:59.121 If you must go out during the daylight, only the East Village. 409 00:34:03.542 --> 00:34:05.085 Hey, hey, hey! 410 00:34:09.298 --> 00:34:12.217 Name and planet of origin? 411 00:34:12.384 --> 00:34:16.138 Sylona Gorth. Planet Jorn. Kaluth system. 412 00:34:17.139 --> 00:34:21.143 Any fruits or vegetables? Yeah, two heads of cabbage. 413 00:34:21.310 --> 00:34:22.352 Reason for visit? 414 00:34:22.519 --> 00:34:26.023 Education. I want to learn how to be an underwear model. 415 00:34:26.190 --> 00:34:28.942 They told me I've got real potential. Hmm? 416 00:34:31.487 --> 00:34:33.280 Help! Heart attack! 417 00:34:34.490 --> 00:34:35.949 Clear! 418 00:34:37.201 --> 00:34:39.203 Wake up, champ! 419 00:34:44.416 --> 00:34:45.459 Oh, jeez. 420 00:34:45.626 --> 00:34:47.920 Lockdown. Code 101. 421 00:34:48.837 --> 00:34:50.798 Lockdown. 422 00:34:51.673 --> 00:34:54.343 This is not good. This is not good. 423 00:35:01.016 --> 00:35:02.684 Breach! We're being flushed. 424 00:35:02.851 --> 00:35:04.019 Flushed? Yep. 425 00:35:04.561 --> 00:35:06.647 Ever been to a water park? I don't know. 426 00:35:40.472 --> 00:35:42.891 Whoo! Heh. Flushed. Heh. 427 00:35:44.351 --> 00:35:48.480 Yeah, man, back when you was an agent, you loved getting flushed. 428 00:35:48.647 --> 00:35:53.235 Yeah, every Saturday night, you'd be like, "Flush me, Jay. Flush me." 429 00:35:53.402 --> 00:35:55.154 I'd be like, "No." 430 00:35:56.780 --> 00:35:58.282 You can't quit on me. 431 00:35:58.448 --> 00:36:01.368 I save the world, you tell me why I stare at the stars. 432 00:36:01.535 --> 00:36:03.078 Cool. 433 00:36:05.414 --> 00:36:07.124 Hop in. Hop in what? 434 00:36:13.255 --> 00:36:16.133 Does that come standard? It came with a black dude, 435 00:36:16.300 --> 00:36:19.094 but he kept getting pulled over. Yep. 436 00:36:21.597 --> 00:36:26.476 Silly little planet. I could rule the place with the right set of mammary glands. 437 00:36:26.852 --> 00:36:28.437 Trapped like rats 438 00:36:29.146 --> 00:36:30.230 in a Chia Pet. 439 00:36:30.397 --> 00:36:32.983 Computer, surveillance MiB. 440 00:36:36.695 --> 00:36:39.615 Hmm. MiB is locked down. 441 00:36:41.700 --> 00:36:45.287 Computer, magnify. Times 10. 442 00:36:46.455 --> 00:36:48.332 Communicator. Frank. 443 00:36:48.624 --> 00:36:50.959 - Jay, where are you? - We got flushed. 444 00:36:51.126 --> 00:36:53.295 MiB is code 101. Yeah, who did it? 445 00:36:53.462 --> 00:36:56.423 Some hot-looking biker chick. Want me to tail her? 446 00:36:56.590 --> 00:37:01.470 Stay where you are. I'll be in touch. Stay where I am. Easy for you to say. 447 00:37:01.637 --> 00:37:03.013 Find Kay? Neuralyzed. 448 00:37:03.180 --> 00:37:05.807 Not active. Civilian. What? 449 00:37:05.974 --> 00:37:07.017 He was... Here. 450 00:37:07.184 --> 00:37:08.518 To get... Deneuralyzed. 451 00:37:08.685 --> 00:37:13.232 Memory's shot. But we'll find him. Don't put anything in our ears. 452 00:37:14.149 --> 00:37:15.192 What? 453 00:37:15.359 --> 00:37:18.820 What do you make of that? Found it in my pocket. Weird, huh? 454 00:37:18.987 --> 00:37:21.740 Yeah, you're smiling. Is that the only deneuralyzer? 455 00:37:21.907 --> 00:37:24.826 Officially. The plans leaked out on the Internet. 456 00:37:24.993 --> 00:37:26.995 Computer, Internet. 457 00:37:27.162 --> 00:37:28.997 Deneuralyzer. 458 00:37:33.085 --> 00:37:35.045 Perfect. It's an old friend. 459 00:37:42.844 --> 00:37:44.846 Jay, ain't seen you in a while. 460 00:37:45.013 --> 00:37:47.766 Did you peep that drop-top thing out front? 461 00:37:47.933 --> 00:37:50.060 My business is banging, dog. 462 00:37:50.560 --> 00:37:53.939 You gotta check out the website. It's Jeebsie dot... 463 00:37:54.189 --> 00:37:56.191 Okay, whoa. He's retired, right? 464 00:37:56.650 --> 00:37:58.402 We need the deneuralyzer. 465 00:37:58.568 --> 00:38:01.905 You're kidding. The meter's running, Jeebs. 466 00:38:04.324 --> 00:38:06.535 Do you remember me? 467 00:38:07.077 --> 00:38:09.204 Can't say I do. I'm good with faces. 468 00:38:09.371 --> 00:38:11.164 Heh. I think I'd remember that. 469 00:38:12.708 --> 00:38:14.751 The great Kay's a neutral. 470 00:38:14.918 --> 00:38:19.214 You're between me and my memories. Do you have this deneuralyzer or not? 471 00:38:19.381 --> 00:38:20.716 No. 472 00:38:21.883 --> 00:38:23.385 Fresh out. 473 00:38:24.594 --> 00:38:26.263 Can't help you. Heh. 474 00:38:28.348 --> 00:38:29.891 Don't got it. 475 00:38:38.567 --> 00:38:42.446 Even if I did, if it doesn't work, he dies, you blow my head off. 476 00:38:42.612 --> 00:38:46.658 If it does, I've brought back Kay, who, for fun, blows my head oh'. 477 00:38:46.825 --> 00:38:48.744 So, what's my incentive? 478 00:38:49.077 --> 00:38:53.248 Okay, homey, I keep it downstairs next to the snow blowers. 479 00:38:56.668 --> 00:39:00.005 Alien prisoners released, armed and ready for your orders. 480 00:39:00.172 --> 00:39:03.592 Prisoners of MiB, the scum of the universe. 481 00:39:04.009 --> 00:39:05.594 Now it's the scum's turn. 482 00:39:05.761 --> 00:39:08.221 I'm in a jam, so I'll make this simple. 483 00:39:08.638 --> 00:39:12.100 I need the Light of Zartha, and Kay knows where it is. 484 00:39:12.267 --> 00:39:14.603 Whoever brings Kay to me gets Earth. 485 00:39:14.770 --> 00:39:18.065 Find a deneuralyzer. They want his memory back. 486 00:39:18.231 --> 00:39:20.067 Check. 487 00:39:20.734 --> 00:39:22.277 Now. 488 00:39:25.655 --> 00:39:27.616 Jarra, good to see you. 489 00:39:31.620 --> 00:39:33.497 Okay, that should do it. 490 00:39:33.663 --> 00:39:38.043 If I could have your attention while we go over the safety procedures. 491 00:39:38.210 --> 00:39:40.754 Keep your hands inside the vehicle. 492 00:39:40.921 --> 00:39:44.007 If, during the ride, you become disoriented, 493 00:39:44.174 --> 00:39:46.843 there's nothing we can do about it. 494 00:39:48.303 --> 00:39:50.764 Have you removed all your jewelry? 495 00:39:52.349 --> 00:39:54.768 Are you allergic to shellfish? Jeebs! 496 00:39:54.935 --> 00:39:57.729 Right, then! Smoke 'em if you got 'em. 497 00:40:04.277 --> 00:40:05.695 Have you used this before? 498 00:40:05.904 --> 00:40:09.658 I used it to make some hot-air popcorn. That's about it. 499 00:40:09.825 --> 00:40:12.786 Okay! Let's make it happen, cap'n! 500 00:40:44.401 --> 00:40:45.861 Hm. 501 00:41:07.966 --> 00:41:09.384 Perfect. 502 00:41:23.064 --> 00:41:25.150 You're back. No. 503 00:41:25.317 --> 00:41:26.693 How'd you know his head grows back? 504 00:41:26.860 --> 00:41:28.528 It grows back? 505 00:41:31.031 --> 00:41:34.910 Real nice. Okay, that's the last time I help out a friend. 506 00:41:37.412 --> 00:41:39.915 Kay, you remember anything? Goodbye. 507 00:41:40.081 --> 00:41:41.625 Kay, Wait! Kay! 508 00:41:42.459 --> 00:41:46.004 I never got the updated software. Still working off the 6.0. 509 00:41:46.171 --> 00:41:48.089 Your brain needs to reboot. 510 00:41:49.341 --> 00:41:50.675 Give it a minute. 511 00:41:50.842 --> 00:41:52.260 Kay! 512 00:41:52.511 --> 00:41:57.766 Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry. I hope it won't affect our friendship. 513 00:41:57.933 --> 00:42:02.479 All those years of loyalty and trust, respect for one another. 514 00:42:04.940 --> 00:42:06.233 Right over there! 515 00:42:07.776 --> 00:42:10.237 - Where's Kay? - He's not here! He went... 516 00:42:10.445 --> 00:42:13.782 Kay's retired. I'm his trigger-happy replacement. 517 00:42:13.949 --> 00:42:17.494 Right in the pie hole. Now nothing's gonna taste right. 518 00:42:17.661 --> 00:42:20.121 Lower your weapon. No. 519 00:42:25.627 --> 00:42:28.171 Jay, how are you, boo-boo? 520 00:42:28.338 --> 00:42:31.007 These guys really need Kay. He's a neutral. 521 00:42:31.174 --> 00:42:34.844 Tell me something we don't know. Yeah, tell me something... Achoo! 522 00:42:35.011 --> 00:42:36.638 I am so sorry. 523 00:42:36.805 --> 00:42:38.807 God bless you. Thank you. 524 00:42:40.058 --> 00:42:44.104 If I don't bring Kay back to MiB, Serleena's gonna kick my ass. 525 00:42:44.271 --> 00:42:46.314 Now, where is he? Where is who? 526 00:42:46.481 --> 00:42:48.650 You don't look too good. 527 00:42:49.985 --> 00:42:51.653 Yeah, and you look like crap. 528 00:42:54.489 --> 00:42:57.325 I take that back. He look like crap. 529 00:42:59.953 --> 00:43:01.830 Bend him! Bend him. 530 00:43:01.997 --> 00:43:03.873 Wait, don't bend him. 531 00:43:25.812 --> 00:43:28.106 Hey, honey, how you doing? 532 00:43:41.661 --> 00:43:43.455 Damn decent of you. 533 00:43:44.039 --> 00:43:45.332 Don't mention it. 534 00:44:06.186 --> 00:44:08.980 I'm gonna be sick. You don't wanna do that. 535 00:44:09.147 --> 00:44:11.941 Fellas, I think he's telling the truth. Then he's no good to us. 536 00:44:15.528 --> 00:44:18.531 Didn't I teach you anything, kid? Pineal eye! 537 00:44:21.076 --> 00:44:22.786 Go for the mosh tendrils! 538 00:44:27.082 --> 00:44:28.833 Kay, he's a ball-chinnian. Oh. 539 00:44:33.254 --> 00:44:35.799 You were in a tight spot. I handled it. 540 00:44:35.965 --> 00:44:38.760 You need a partner. I had one. Job got too tough. 541 00:44:38.927 --> 00:44:41.262 I'm back. You got some dust on your coat. 542 00:44:41.429 --> 00:44:43.306 So you got your memory back. Yeah. 543 00:44:43.473 --> 00:44:45.934 What the hell is going on? Don't know. 544 00:44:46.101 --> 00:44:48.603 The Light of Zartha? Never heard of it. 545 00:44:48.770 --> 00:44:49.771 Cool. 546 00:44:53.316 --> 00:44:55.443 You don't remember the Light of Zartha? 547 00:44:55.610 --> 00:44:58.321 Must've neuralyzed myself to keep it from myself. 548 00:44:58.488 --> 00:45:01.783 Good plan. What you doing? I do the driving. 549 00:45:01.950 --> 00:45:03.952 Wait, no. Whoa, whoa. I remember that. 550 00:45:04.119 --> 00:45:08.039 What you remember is you used to drive that old, busted jawn. 551 00:45:08.206 --> 00:45:11.292 I drive the new hotness. 552 00:45:11.459 --> 00:45:15.088 Old and busted, new hotness. 553 00:45:24.013 --> 00:45:26.141 Old busted hotness. 554 00:45:26.474 --> 00:45:29.185 - Serleena, please. - Been a long time, Zed. 555 00:45:29.352 --> 00:45:32.981 I'm just touched you remembered me. Makes me fuzzy all over. 556 00:45:33.148 --> 00:45:36.484 Never forget a pretty whatever you are. 557 00:45:37.318 --> 00:45:39.487 Unh! Zed? 558 00:45:40.822 --> 00:45:42.490 Zed? Look at you. 559 00:45:42.657 --> 00:45:45.660 Twenty-five years, and you're still such a looker. 560 00:45:45.827 --> 00:45:47.537 Cut out the meat and dairy. 561 00:45:47.704 --> 00:45:51.499 And you, still a pile of squirmy crap in a different wrapper. 562 00:45:51.833 --> 00:45:55.503 So feisty. Look, we both need the same thing. 563 00:45:58.423 --> 00:45:59.966 Bring him in. 564 00:46:00.633 --> 00:46:01.718 Don't think so. 565 00:46:01.885 --> 00:46:05.847 What about the Light's secret? If it's not off Earth by midnight, 566 00:46:06.014 --> 00:46:09.476 it self-destructs, annihilating your little planet. 567 00:46:09.642 --> 00:46:13.521 I lose, you lose. I win, everything keeps spinning. 568 00:46:13.897 --> 00:46:17.859 You don't want the Light on Earth any more than I do. 569 00:46:20.528 --> 00:46:22.197 All right, Serleena. 570 00:46:23.448 --> 00:46:25.033 You win. 571 00:46:26.910 --> 00:46:30.246 Zed? Is that you? I could be Agent Em. 572 00:46:30.622 --> 00:46:32.040 Zed. Hello? 573 00:46:42.550 --> 00:46:44.636 So feisty. 574 00:46:49.098 --> 00:46:52.769 Fastest way back to MiB, you take this right on 39th. 575 00:46:52.936 --> 00:46:54.521 Right here. Right. 576 00:46:56.689 --> 00:46:58.441 Next right on 37th. 577 00:46:58.608 --> 00:47:01.069 Right here. Thirty... Thirty... Right! 578 00:47:01.402 --> 00:47:02.987 We're not going back to MiB. 579 00:47:03.154 --> 00:47:08.243 Headquarters has been breached. We need to peel caps and split wigs. 580 00:47:08.409 --> 00:47:10.036 Not ready. 581 00:47:10.453 --> 00:47:13.915 Look, you've been out for five years. That's a long time. 582 00:47:14.082 --> 00:47:17.210 I understand you're scared. I'm a little scared too. 583 00:47:17.377 --> 00:47:19.420 I'm not scared. Me neither. 584 00:47:20.004 --> 00:47:22.423 I just thought we was bonding. 585 00:47:23.258 --> 00:47:27.345 You're acting like a rookie . Splitting wigs and stepping on caps. 586 00:47:27.512 --> 00:47:31.599 No wonder Zed brought me back. He did it because you messed up. 587 00:47:31.766 --> 00:47:34.477 Your attitude makes for a stressful environment. 588 00:47:34.644 --> 00:47:38.731 Tell it to the hand. Stressful is what we got back at MiB. 589 00:47:38.898 --> 00:47:43.486 Exactly. Serleena broke into MiB in order to lure me back. 590 00:47:43.653 --> 00:47:45.738 Into a trap. 591 00:47:45.905 --> 00:47:48.449 Which is why we can't bust in there. 592 00:47:48.616 --> 00:47:51.619 We need a plan. Where we going? Scene of the crime? 593 00:47:51.786 --> 00:47:55.999 You're the boss. Scene of the crime. That's a left. 594 00:47:58.459 --> 00:48:00.962 I'll contact the witness. We'll talk to her. 595 00:48:01.129 --> 00:48:04.382 Things have changed. We used to neuralyze witnesses. 596 00:48:05.717 --> 00:48:07.468 See, originally, I'd, um... 597 00:48:08.469 --> 00:48:12.974 No, I was going to, uh... I interrogated her. 598 00:48:13.141 --> 00:48:14.809 - Then neuralyzed her? - What? 599 00:48:14.976 --> 00:48:20.356 MiB code 773/I-1 clearly states that all civilian personnel... 600 00:48:21.357 --> 00:48:22.859 Drop that weapon! No, no, no! 601 00:48:23.026 --> 00:48:24.652 Jay, I'm... I'm sorry. 602 00:48:24.819 --> 00:48:27.906 No, no, I'm fine. It's my fault. Uh... Uh... 603 00:48:28.072 --> 00:48:30.533 Kay, my partner. Laura, the witness. 604 00:48:30.700 --> 00:48:31.826 Pleasure. 605 00:48:33.119 --> 00:48:37.707 Thanks for sending those agents over to keep an eye on me last night. 606 00:48:37.874 --> 00:48:39.876 MiB procedural code 594-B 607 00:48:40.043 --> 00:48:43.212 states that MiB personnel shall never be used... 608 00:48:43.379 --> 00:48:48.718 Ben, the Zarthan, was vaporized here. I assume the perp was over here. 609 00:48:48.885 --> 00:48:50.470 Ben. 610 00:48:50.637 --> 00:48:53.473 Was he 5'7", thinning hair? You knew him? 611 00:48:53.890 --> 00:48:56.142 Nope. Never seen him before in my life. 612 00:48:56.309 --> 00:48:59.187 That is a hell of a fish. 613 00:49:01.397 --> 00:49:03.191 Wait a minute. 614 00:49:08.363 --> 00:49:09.739 You left yourself clues? 615 00:49:09.906 --> 00:49:13.993 In case I was deneuralyzed because my replacement couldn't handle it. 616 00:49:14.160 --> 00:49:18.831 If the joker that had got deneuralyzed hadn't created the situation... 617 00:49:18.998 --> 00:49:20.333 Boys. 618 00:49:22.210 --> 00:49:25.129 All right. You pointing at something. 619 00:49:27.757 --> 00:49:29.133 Okay. 620 00:49:29.300 --> 00:49:30.677 Excuse me. 621 00:49:32.220 --> 00:49:33.346 The astronaut. 622 00:49:35.390 --> 00:49:36.557 Jay? 623 00:49:37.058 --> 00:49:39.352 Okay, all right. He's pointing... 624 00:49:39.519 --> 00:49:41.729 He's like... He like... 625 00:49:44.232 --> 00:49:46.067 Who would stack boxes like this? 626 00:49:46.234 --> 00:49:50.071 A box stacker who's not stacking boxes. He's leaving clues. 627 00:49:50.238 --> 00:49:51.739 It's an arrow. 628 00:49:55.868 --> 00:49:58.121 Jay? You're slowing me down, slick. 629 00:49:58.287 --> 00:50:01.916 Whatever we're looking for is in these cabinets, right here. 630 00:50:03.334 --> 00:50:06.421 Anchovy filets in virgin olive oil. 631 00:50:09.924 --> 00:50:12.301 I hope I'm not slowing you down. 632 00:50:12.927 --> 00:50:15.555 Good work, partner. Yeah. 633 00:50:15.722 --> 00:50:18.099 We gotta figure out where it goes. I know where. 634 00:50:18.266 --> 00:50:23.104 Whoa. No. Not yet. MiB code 773 clearly says... 635 00:50:23.271 --> 00:50:26.441 I know the code, but she might be important to me. 636 00:50:27.066 --> 00:50:29.569 To us. Well, for help. To help us later. 637 00:50:30.236 --> 00:50:32.947 Well, she can't stay here. They'll be back. 638 00:50:35.616 --> 00:50:39.328 You can stay with friends of mine. People like you? 639 00:50:39.620 --> 00:50:40.621 Kind of. 640 00:50:40.788 --> 00:50:42.373 Jay! 641 00:50:42.540 --> 00:50:45.001 Low bridge! What's going on, man? 642 00:50:45.168 --> 00:50:47.295 Hey, what's happening, fellas? MiB is code 101. 643 00:50:49.088 --> 00:50:50.465 Bad. Very bad. 644 00:50:50.631 --> 00:50:54.677 - I need your help. This is Laura. - Laura! 645 00:50:54.844 --> 00:50:56.471 Easy, easy! 646 00:50:56.637 --> 00:50:57.680 They're worms. 647 00:50:57.847 --> 00:50:59.974 Once you go worm, that's what you'll yearn. 648 00:51:00.141 --> 00:51:01.142 Yaah. 649 00:51:01.309 --> 00:51:04.645 I've dated worse. 650 00:51:05.188 --> 00:51:07.815 They're suspended for stealing from duty-free shop. 651 00:51:07.982 --> 00:51:10.777 We were framed. Zed's wormophobic. 652 00:51:10.943 --> 00:51:12.236 - Kay! - You're back! 653 00:51:12.403 --> 00:51:15.156 They said you were dead. We're double-parked. 654 00:51:15.323 --> 00:51:17.200 Laura's very important to me. 655 00:51:17.909 --> 00:51:21.496 To us. To the stuff... Me and you, man, the stuff we're doing. 656 00:51:22.663 --> 00:51:25.666 Keep an eye on her. I'll keep both on her. 657 00:51:25.833 --> 00:51:26.834 No problem! 658 00:51:27.585 --> 00:51:28.878 Hey, hey, hey. 659 00:51:29.045 --> 00:51:31.839 Why don't you sit here? Like you got a shot. 660 00:51:32.006 --> 00:51:33.174 Hey, shut up! 661 00:51:36.344 --> 00:51:39.013 My communicator, in case you need it. 662 00:51:40.056 --> 00:51:42.517 Ooh. Ha-ha. 663 00:51:42.683 --> 00:51:45.061 Nice move. Okay. Um... 664 00:51:45.228 --> 00:51:46.771 Oh. Uh... 665 00:51:46.938 --> 00:51:50.191 Just watch out for Neeble. Which one's Neeble? 666 00:51:50.358 --> 00:51:51.776 Um, he's... 667 00:51:53.194 --> 00:51:55.404 Which one of y'all is Neeble? Yo, mama! 668 00:51:55.571 --> 00:51:59.784 Ah. Him, right there. It's fine. Everything's straight. It's safe. 669 00:51:59.951 --> 00:52:01.953 Don't fall asleep. 670 00:52:03.704 --> 00:52:05.373 Twister! 671 00:52:07.375 --> 00:52:12.046 Run over your plan one more time. I'm struggling with it. 672 00:52:12.213 --> 00:52:16.050 You neuralyzed memory of the Light but left yourself clues. 673 00:52:16.217 --> 00:52:17.260 Right. 674 00:52:17.426 --> 00:52:22.515 Photo pointing to a key in a pizzeria which opens a locker at Grand Central. 675 00:52:22.682 --> 00:52:25.810 In the locker, we'll find another clue. That's the plan. 676 00:52:25.977 --> 00:52:27.311 Ah. 677 00:52:29.188 --> 00:52:32.775 I like to keep my enemies confused. We all confused, Kay. 678 00:52:35.069 --> 00:52:36.612 Are you gonna slow me down? 679 00:52:36.779 --> 00:52:39.407 Your brain's working on old software. 680 00:52:39.574 --> 00:52:41.784 Why don't you go grab us some coffee? 681 00:52:41.951 --> 00:52:45.454 Sure. How do you take it? Black? Couple cubes of kiss my ass? 682 00:52:45.621 --> 00:52:49.041 I don't know what's in there, so step back. 683 00:52:49.208 --> 00:52:52.670 Kay, for real, man. Open the damn locker. 684 00:52:57.258 --> 00:52:59.635 Kay! He's back! The light giver! 685 00:52:59.802 --> 00:53:02.305 All hail Kay! All hail Kay! 686 00:53:06.726 --> 00:53:09.562 You are the man who would be king of the train locker. 687 00:53:09.729 --> 00:53:10.771 Praise Kay! 688 00:53:10.938 --> 00:53:15.735 Oh, good and gentle townfolk of Locker C-18, 689 00:53:15.902 --> 00:53:19.447 did I leave anything here? Yes. The timekeeper. 690 00:53:19.614 --> 00:53:22.283 Left to illuminate our streets and hearts. 691 00:53:22.450 --> 00:53:26.954 - I've been looking everywhere for this. - Merciful one! The clock tower! 692 00:53:27.121 --> 00:53:29.832 I got y'all, it's cool. Check this out. 693 00:53:30.124 --> 00:53:33.252 Titanium case. Waterproof to over 300 meters. 694 00:53:34.003 --> 00:53:36.589 That's banging. Who are you, stranger? 695 00:53:37.006 --> 00:53:38.633 - Jay. - Hmm. 696 00:53:39.050 --> 00:53:41.260 All hail Jay! All hail Jay! 697 00:53:43.888 --> 00:53:46.974 Oh, merciful Jay, the keeper of... Come on. 698 00:53:47.475 --> 00:53:49.644 - Wait! The commandments! - The tablet! 699 00:53:49.810 --> 00:53:52.855 The tablet! The tablet! The tablet! The tablet! 700 00:53:53.022 --> 00:53:57.068 We have lived by its word, and peace has reigned throughout our world. 701 00:53:57.235 --> 00:54:00.655 Pass it on to others! So that they too may be enlightened! 702 00:54:00.821 --> 00:54:02.490 Be kind! Rewind! 703 00:54:02.657 --> 00:54:04.492 Reconcile your past, 704 00:54:04.909 --> 00:54:07.328 in order to move tranquilly into your future! 705 00:54:07.495 --> 00:54:09.830 Two for one every Wednesday. 706 00:54:09.997 --> 00:54:13.376 Give twice as much as ye receive on our most sacred of days. 707 00:54:13.668 --> 00:54:14.710 Every Wednesday. 708 00:54:14.877 --> 00:54:18.005 Large adult entertainment section in the back. 709 00:54:22.093 --> 00:54:23.678 That's just nasty. 710 00:54:24.512 --> 00:54:26.764 What's with the video card? Don't know. 711 00:54:26.931 --> 00:54:28.432 The watch? A reminder. 712 00:54:28.599 --> 00:54:29.976 Of what? Can't remember. 713 00:54:30.142 --> 00:54:31.185 Guess. 714 00:54:31.352 --> 00:54:35.106 I guess we have till midnight, that's 59 minutes to figure it out. 715 00:54:37.525 --> 00:54:41.654 Look. Here's an idea. Let's stop chasing butt-backwards clues, 716 00:54:41.821 --> 00:54:45.992 get a couple fission carbonizers and get our headquarters back. 717 00:54:46.158 --> 00:54:48.327 It's all about to make sense, kid. 718 00:54:48.494 --> 00:54:50.246 Is this card valid? 719 00:54:51.872 --> 00:54:55.710 - This card hasn't been used in years. - I've been away on business. 720 00:54:55.876 --> 00:54:58.212 - Billions of frequent flier miles. - Try and use them. 721 00:54:58.379 --> 00:55:02.425 I wanted to go to Cambodia. You can get a lobster dinner for a dollar. 722 00:55:02.800 --> 00:55:08.139 The airlines black out holidays. It's a conspiracy, I'm sure, I mean... 723 00:55:08.306 --> 00:55:11.017 Can you tell us anything about the account? 724 00:55:11.392 --> 00:55:13.352 You never checked out a tape. 725 00:55:13.519 --> 00:55:16.272 You reserved one once, but you never picked it up. 726 00:55:17.732 --> 00:55:19.817 Newton. There's a rat in the toilet. 727 00:55:19.984 --> 00:55:24.238 It's all stopped up. You're gonna have to pee in the sin... 728 00:55:27.450 --> 00:55:30.411 Still think I'm paranoid? Yeah. 729 00:55:31.203 --> 00:55:36.667 Gentlemen, my name is Newton. I run the place. Seen any aliens lately? 730 00:55:36.834 --> 00:55:41.088 You need professional help. He's getting it. It's not working. 731 00:55:41.255 --> 00:55:43.466 Okay, so, new case, huh? 732 00:55:43.632 --> 00:55:46.093 Episode 27, Light of Zartha. 733 00:55:47.595 --> 00:55:48.929 Got it. 734 00:55:49.555 --> 00:55:53.309 Jarra, it's a sin they've kept a genius like you locked away. 735 00:55:53.476 --> 00:55:57.438 Their agent Jay caught me siphoning ozone to sell on the black market. 736 00:55:57.605 --> 00:55:59.565 They're touchy about global warming. 737 00:55:59.732 --> 00:56:03.277 I need a spacecraft that can travel 300 times the speed of light. 738 00:56:03.444 --> 00:56:05.446 I'll give you whatever you want. 739 00:56:05.613 --> 00:56:08.115 Give me Jay. We'll call it even. Groovy. 740 00:56:08.908 --> 00:56:11.369 You've got till midnight. 741 00:56:15.539 --> 00:56:19.126 Gatbot, I got a little something special for you. 742 00:56:23.631 --> 00:56:26.425 Newton? Newton, is that you? 743 00:56:26.592 --> 00:56:29.095 Yes, Mom, I'm up here with some friends. 744 00:56:29.261 --> 00:56:30.846 I wanna have your baby. 745 00:56:31.013 --> 00:56:33.140 Would you like some mini-pizza? 746 00:56:34.058 --> 00:56:37.144 You guys want some mini-pizzas? They're good. 747 00:56:37.311 --> 00:56:40.523 They're like mini-bagels, with pizza stuff on them. 748 00:56:40.689 --> 00:56:43.484 She'll put a little fontina cheese on. 749 00:56:43.651 --> 00:56:47.655 She has palsy, so she ends up putting a lot of cheese on. 750 00:56:52.284 --> 00:56:54.412 No, thanks, we're cool. 751 00:56:54.578 --> 00:56:55.830 All right. 752 00:56:57.581 --> 00:56:58.958 Over here. 753 00:57:03.629 --> 00:57:05.089 - This is it. - Hm. 754 00:57:05.256 --> 00:57:07.550 Finally some hard evidence. 755 00:57:07.800 --> 00:57:11.512 Gentlemen, before I play the tape, one question: 756 00:57:12.096 --> 00:57:13.848 What's up with anal probing? 757 00:57:14.014 --> 00:57:17.935 Aliens travel billions of light years just to check out our... 758 00:57:18.102 --> 00:57:20.354 Boy, move. 759 00:57:20.521 --> 00:57:23.441 Okay. Just a question. 760 00:57:24.483 --> 00:57:28.028 Here is one of their stories that "never happened" 761 00:57:28.195 --> 00:57:31.449 from one of their files that doesn't exist. 762 00:57:33.492 --> 00:57:38.497 1978. Devastating war of Zartha had raged on for 50 years. 763 00:57:38.664 --> 00:57:40.416 Hm, looks like Spielberg's work. 764 00:57:40.583 --> 00:57:44.503 But the Zarthans had a great treasure, the Light of Zartha. 765 00:57:44.670 --> 00:57:48.048 A source of power so awesome, it alone 766 00:57:48.215 --> 00:57:51.802 could mean victory and restoration for the Zarthans 767 00:57:51.969 --> 00:57:56.390 or complete annihilation, if it fell into the hands of the Kylothians. 768 00:57:56.557 --> 00:57:58.726 A group of Zarthans made the journey, 769 00:57:58.893 --> 00:58:00.686 led by the Keeper of the Light... 770 00:58:00.853 --> 00:58:02.313 Lauranna. 771 00:58:02.730 --> 00:58:04.857 Princess Lauranna. 772 00:58:05.149 --> 00:58:09.737 Lauranna beseeched the Men in Black to help her hide the Light on Earth. 773 00:58:09.904 --> 00:58:12.239 But they could not intervene. 774 00:58:12.406 --> 00:58:13.657 No. 775 00:58:14.366 --> 00:58:15.493 It was night. 776 00:58:17.703 --> 00:58:19.121 And it was raining. 777 00:58:19.747 --> 00:58:21.207 You've been very wise. 778 00:58:21.373 --> 00:58:25.920 Kay, please. If Serleena takes the Light, it's the end of our world. 779 00:58:26.587 --> 00:58:29.924 If we extend protection for the Light beyond Earth, 780 00:58:30.090 --> 00:58:33.427 we put Earth in jeopardy. We must remain neutral. 781 00:58:33.594 --> 00:58:36.180 - Where is it? - We're neutral, remember? 782 00:58:36.388 --> 00:58:38.599 If you want it, go get it. 783 00:58:42.811 --> 00:58:44.313 No! 784 00:59:13.467 --> 00:59:15.761 And so never knowing it happened, 785 00:59:15.928 --> 00:59:18.847 the people of Earth were once again saved 786 00:59:19.014 --> 00:59:21.141 by a secret society of protectors... 787 00:59:23.269 --> 00:59:24.937 I shouldn't have. 788 00:59:25.896 --> 00:59:28.315 You never sent it off the planet. 789 00:59:29.441 --> 00:59:30.859 You hid it here. 790 00:59:32.861 --> 00:59:34.280 The worm guys. 791 00:59:38.450 --> 00:59:41.245 Are you one of Newton's friends from therapy? 792 00:59:41.412 --> 00:59:43.289 Yes, ma'am, I am. Look here, please. 793 00:59:43.455 --> 00:59:44.623 Would you like some mini-pizz...? 794 00:59:46.792 --> 00:59:47.835 A neuralyz... 795 00:59:49.587 --> 00:59:53.173 Okay, first, get some contact lenses. 796 00:59:53.340 --> 00:59:55.634 Joints look like they pick up cable. 797 00:59:55.801 --> 01:00:00.389 Second, take her to Cambodia. Get her lobster. Pay more than a dollar. 798 01:00:00.556 --> 01:00:03.851 Third, the second y'all get back from Cambodia, 799 01:00:04.018 --> 01:00:07.062 move your bum ass out of your mom's house. 800 01:00:07.229 --> 01:00:09.648 - Let's go. - Boy, you like 40 years old. 801 01:00:09.815 --> 01:00:12.109 Agent Jay? All right, all right. 802 01:00:12.276 --> 01:00:16.280 Oh. And there ain't no such thing as aliens or Men in Black. 803 01:00:22.494 --> 01:00:25.706 You wanna go to Cambodia? Yeah. 804 01:00:27.833 --> 01:00:29.209 Hey, Mom? 805 01:00:29.835 --> 01:00:31.462 Communicator, Jay. 806 01:00:32.838 --> 01:00:35.591 Laura, it's me. Jay, we're playing Twister. 807 01:00:35.758 --> 01:00:37.551 What's up, Jay? 808 01:00:37.718 --> 01:00:41.013 Quit touching my butt! I thought it was your face. 809 01:00:41.180 --> 01:00:44.224 They're good at this. They don't have spines. 810 01:00:44.391 --> 01:00:47.353 Oh. They were telling me about Oprah, from Chicago. 811 01:00:47.519 --> 01:00:51.065 Maybe landed in Chicago. Ha-ha-ha. 812 01:00:51.398 --> 01:00:53.901 - Are you wearing a bracelet? - Yeah. 813 01:00:54.068 --> 01:00:55.152 Is it glowing? 814 01:01:00.240 --> 01:01:03.243 It's never done that before. We're on our way. 815 01:01:03.410 --> 01:01:04.953 Communicator, Frank. 816 01:01:05.245 --> 01:01:07.748 Frank, get down to Level C. Deactivate lockdown. 817 01:01:07.915 --> 01:01:10.793 We're headed to the worm guys. We found the Light. 818 01:01:10.959 --> 01:01:12.378 Got it, Jay. 819 01:01:12.544 --> 01:01:13.712 Scrad? 820 01:01:13.879 --> 01:01:15.005 Bitch. 821 01:01:15.172 --> 01:01:17.091 Why didn't you say I love you? 822 01:01:17.257 --> 01:01:21.887 He's a dog. I don't even like him. No, the girl. You're sweet on her. 823 01:01:22.054 --> 01:01:25.224 That's why you didn't neuralyze her. You got emotionally involved. 824 01:01:25.391 --> 01:01:29.895 Like you did with Lauranna? I put the entire planet in danger. 825 01:01:30.062 --> 01:01:33.315 I don't want to see you making my mistakes. 826 01:01:33.482 --> 01:01:35.067 Whatever, man. 827 01:01:39.446 --> 01:01:40.656 Laura? 828 01:01:44.952 --> 01:01:46.286 Oi. 829 01:01:47.621 --> 01:01:48.664 Damn! 830 01:01:53.544 --> 01:01:55.045 Never stood half a chance. 831 01:01:56.296 --> 01:01:57.381 Oh, boy. 832 01:01:57.840 --> 01:01:59.758 Unh. That's gonna leave a scar. 833 01:02:01.927 --> 01:02:02.970 Where's Laura? 834 01:02:03.137 --> 01:02:05.472 MiB headquarters. Some dumb two-headed guy. 835 01:02:05.639 --> 01:02:07.057 They got the bracelet. 836 01:02:07.224 --> 01:02:09.977 We got 39 minutes. You guys, um, 837 01:02:10.144 --> 01:02:12.312 pull yourselves together. 838 01:02:13.063 --> 01:02:14.148 Damn. 839 01:02:15.524 --> 01:02:17.609 Oh, that's feeling better. 840 01:02:17.776 --> 01:02:20.487 - Hey, guys, wait up! - Let me grab my drink! 841 01:02:20.654 --> 01:02:22.698 Serleena has the bracelet. Why take Laura? 842 01:02:22.865 --> 01:02:24.032 She also wants me. 843 01:02:24.199 --> 01:02:27.494 What's the book say? We're off book. I say split some wigs. 844 01:02:27.661 --> 01:02:29.913 We need wig-splitting weapons. Got them. 845 01:02:35.210 --> 01:02:38.505 Ah. Paw Paw's coming to visit me. Hello, Paw Paw. 846 01:02:38.672 --> 01:02:41.675 Paw Paw and ZuZu love to see what's going on in the garden. 847 01:02:41.842 --> 01:02:46.263 Don't worry, folks. I used to live here. Came to pick up a few things. 848 01:02:50.309 --> 01:02:51.810 Nice place. 849 01:02:54.480 --> 01:02:55.522 Hoo-ah. 850 01:02:56.690 --> 01:02:57.858 Hoo-eeh. 851 01:02:59.860 --> 01:03:01.195 Yah! 852 01:03:04.281 --> 01:03:05.532 See you. 853 01:03:15.375 --> 01:03:18.170 You did not see a room full of weapons or four aliens. 854 01:03:18.337 --> 01:03:21.048 You will cherish and love each other for the rest of your lives. 855 01:03:21.215 --> 01:03:25.219 Which could be the next 28 minutes, so get to loving and cherishing. 856 01:03:25.385 --> 01:03:28.055 Oh. And she can stay up as late as she want 857 01:03:28.222 --> 01:03:30.849 and have cookies and candy and stuff. 858 01:03:41.735 --> 01:03:43.904 Four minutes to launch. 859 01:03:44.071 --> 01:03:46.031 Four minutes to launch. 860 01:03:46.740 --> 01:03:50.744 Your ship is ready. Good. Send it to Kyloth now. 861 01:03:54.122 --> 01:03:55.374 Ready, guys? 862 01:03:55.541 --> 01:03:57.751 Lock and load, baby. 863 01:03:57.918 --> 01:03:59.586 You ready, kid? Kid? 864 01:03:59.753 --> 01:04:02.756 I saved the world from a Kreelon invasion. 865 01:04:02.923 --> 01:04:07.094 They're the Backstreet Boys of the universe. They throw snowballs? 866 01:04:07.886 --> 01:04:09.346 Know what you're doing? 867 01:04:09.513 --> 01:04:12.516 I'm about to attack one of the most feared aliens 868 01:04:12.683 --> 01:04:15.936 with four worms and a mailman. Let's make it hot. 869 01:04:16.103 --> 01:04:17.396 No, no, wait! 870 01:04:23.151 --> 01:04:25.445 A code 101 lockdown! 871 01:04:25.612 --> 01:04:29.658 The building gets pressurized. Nothing in, nothing out. I knew that. 872 01:04:29.825 --> 01:04:31.869 Yeah, you knew. Front and center, worms! 873 01:04:32.035 --> 01:04:33.328 You got it. 874 01:04:39.960 --> 01:04:45.465 It's about time you guys got here. That lady is causing all kinds of hell. 875 01:05:05.819 --> 01:05:09.072 Yummy. Someone I need to eat. 876 01:05:09.281 --> 01:05:12.951 Get to the launch pad. The bracelet shows the departure point. 877 01:05:13.118 --> 01:05:15.370 Do not come back for me. What do you mean? 878 01:05:15.537 --> 01:05:18.248 Do not come back for me. 879 01:05:22.502 --> 01:05:24.671 Worm guys, give me some cover fire. 880 01:05:24.838 --> 01:05:26.590 Too scared, can't move. 881 01:05:36.266 --> 01:05:37.476 Go! 882 01:05:48.195 --> 01:05:51.114 Limber. Go to subcontrol panel 7-R-Delta. 883 01:05:51.281 --> 01:05:56.787 Shut off power so they can't take off. Can't. Too scared. 884 01:05:57.746 --> 01:06:00.374 Oh, that way. Away from the bullets. 885 01:06:00.540 --> 01:06:02.167 No problem. Hoo-ah. 886 01:06:04.169 --> 01:06:05.587 Alley-oop. 887 01:06:16.807 --> 01:06:18.725 Nice to see you again, Kay. 888 01:06:22.980 --> 01:06:25.023 3 minutes to launch. Jay! 889 01:06:25.190 --> 01:06:27.401 Three minutes to launch. 890 01:06:27.901 --> 01:06:29.361 Hello, Jay. Long time. 891 01:06:29.528 --> 01:06:32.030 Jarra! What's up, man? You look great. 892 01:06:32.197 --> 01:06:34.825 What's it been? Five years? And 42 days. 893 01:06:34.992 --> 01:06:37.494 You count every one when you're locked away. 894 01:06:37.661 --> 01:06:41.748 You shouldn't have tried to steal our ozone. Be there in one minute. 895 01:06:42.874 --> 01:06:45.460 Over our dead titanium bodies! 896 01:06:45.627 --> 01:06:47.087 Two minutes. 897 01:06:53.760 --> 01:06:55.595 Uh, let's play this one by ear. 898 01:06:58.390 --> 01:07:02.602 I should have vaporized you before. You really did love Lauranna. 899 01:07:02.769 --> 01:07:04.646 Didn't you, Kay? 900 01:07:04.938 --> 01:07:06.982 You silly little man. 901 01:07:25.500 --> 01:07:28.045 Unh! Aah! Ha-ha. 902 01:07:30.589 --> 01:07:33.884 Ow! Aah! 903 01:07:35.218 --> 01:07:37.304 Two minutes to launch. 904 01:07:39.222 --> 01:07:40.640 Just go, I'll be fine! 905 01:07:41.475 --> 01:07:43.977 What you talking about? I'm winning. 906 01:07:44.144 --> 01:07:48.148 Jarra, you are under arrest for being that ugly, 907 01:07:48.315 --> 01:07:51.151 and for making that many copies. Surrender! 908 01:07:51.318 --> 01:07:52.360 I want him in pieces. 909 01:07:53.820 --> 01:07:55.655 Aah! Whoo! 910 01:07:55.864 --> 01:07:58.200 Jarra Jr. is going, going, 911 01:07:58.867 --> 01:08:00.660 gone! 912 01:08:13.340 --> 01:08:15.092 - Rectum. - Damn near killed him! 913 01:08:16.468 --> 01:08:17.844 Never get tired of that one. 914 01:08:18.011 --> 01:08:19.429 Where do we shut off the power? 915 01:08:19.596 --> 01:08:20.680 I don't know. 916 01:08:26.686 --> 01:08:30.607 - I'm fine. I'll be there in a minute. - No, he won't. 917 01:08:35.821 --> 01:08:38.156 Uh-huh. Down to one now, Jarra! 918 01:08:48.416 --> 01:08:50.794 Thirty seconds to launch. 919 01:08:58.885 --> 01:09:01.263 Fifteen seconds to launch. 920 01:09:04.182 --> 01:09:06.309 Ten seconds to launch. 921 01:09:06.601 --> 01:09:07.853 Eight. 922 01:09:08.019 --> 01:09:09.354 Seven. 923 01:09:09.521 --> 01:09:10.897 Six. 924 01:09:11.064 --> 01:09:12.399 Five. 925 01:09:12.566 --> 01:09:13.692 Four. 926 01:09:13.859 --> 01:09:15.861 Three. Two. 927 01:09:17.737 --> 01:09:19.698 Launch terminated. 928 01:09:20.157 --> 01:09:23.618 What did you mean, leave you? Well, he took your gun. 929 01:09:23.785 --> 01:09:26.621 Cracked your head. Slammed you across the room. 930 01:09:26.788 --> 01:09:30.876 Half the time you were on your back. Look, that's how I fight. 931 01:09:31.585 --> 01:09:34.045 You've lost, you insignificant speck. 932 01:09:34.212 --> 01:09:37.257 You've wasted 25 years of my time, and for what? 933 01:09:37.507 --> 01:09:41.553 The total annihilation of Zartha. All because you went mushy. 934 01:09:41.720 --> 01:09:45.932 I'll give you one last chance to surrender, you slimy invertebrate. 935 01:09:46.099 --> 01:09:49.686 What are you gonna do to stop me? Not me. Him. 936 01:09:51.730 --> 01:09:54.024 Your flight's been canceled. 937 01:10:00.739 --> 01:10:05.160 Shut down power. Shut down power. Buttons, buttons. I'm guessing, uh... 938 01:10:05.327 --> 01:10:06.453 Yeah. 939 01:10:08.538 --> 01:10:10.790 - Worms! - Sorry. 940 01:10:15.879 --> 01:10:18.548 Give me the bracelet. I'm going with you. 941 01:10:18.715 --> 01:10:21.426 Everybody in the car. Everybody. 942 01:10:34.606 --> 01:10:37.484 This bracelet is what everybody's been after? 943 01:10:37.651 --> 01:10:39.361 It's often something small. 944 01:10:39.527 --> 01:10:42.489 It's not the Light. It tells us the departure point. 945 01:10:42.656 --> 01:10:45.575 What? If we don't get there in 11 minutes, 946 01:10:45.742 --> 01:10:48.828 that bracelet will go nuclear and destroy Earth. 947 01:10:48.995 --> 01:10:50.455 What?! 948 01:10:51.039 --> 01:10:52.666 Hello. Oh. 949 01:10:53.083 --> 01:10:55.168 Wait, Kay, no. I know what I'm doing. 950 01:11:10.100 --> 01:11:11.142 Damn. 951 01:11:12.811 --> 01:11:16.022 Modified to hyper-speed! Seat belts. 952 01:11:19.401 --> 01:11:20.443 What's that? 953 01:11:20.610 --> 01:11:23.363 At hyper-speed, you have to use the navigational stalk. 954 01:11:28.285 --> 01:11:32.539 Toggle switches for the ailerons . Joysticks for the stabilizer and rudder. 955 01:11:32.706 --> 01:11:34.124 Okay. 956 01:11:37.585 --> 01:11:38.670 I just want you to know... 957 01:11:40.046 --> 01:11:41.881 Hold on to that for one second. 958 01:11:45.468 --> 01:11:47.137 Computer, worms. 959 01:11:47.304 --> 01:11:50.471 I said, "Bitch, if you don't want me to kick your 960 01:11:50.472 --> 01:11:54.019 skinny Zone Diet ass, turn around and exit the planet." 961 01:11:54.185 --> 01:11:56.354 Frank, where are you? 962 01:11:56.521 --> 01:11:57.981 Main hall, egg display. 963 01:11:58.148 --> 01:12:01.026 We're taking fire. Kay pushed the red button. 964 01:12:01.192 --> 01:12:04.112 Computer at MiB can destroy bogey. I'll walk you through it. 965 01:12:07.449 --> 01:12:11.995 Jay? Frank. You were the best darn partner a Remoolian could ever have. 966 01:12:12.787 --> 01:12:14.080 Godspeed. 967 01:12:15.749 --> 01:12:20.253 Frank? Frank? Okay, here we go, automatic pilot. 968 01:12:22.505 --> 01:12:25.842 It is not automatic piloting. He doesn't operate at hyper-speed. 969 01:12:26.009 --> 01:12:30.263 I could use a steering wheel here! This is what we got. 970 01:12:32.057 --> 01:12:34.976 Didn't you ever have a Game Boy? What is a Game Boy? 971 01:12:35.143 --> 01:12:37.437 You know what? Move. Move. Okay. 972 01:12:38.021 --> 01:12:40.357 Oh! Hey, that is not the navigational stalk! 973 01:12:52.327 --> 01:12:54.329 Okay, straight down. 974 01:12:59.042 --> 01:13:00.460 Idiots. 975 01:13:10.512 --> 01:13:11.805 Subway may not be the best place 976 01:13:11.971 --> 01:13:13.264 to lose her. Shh. 977 01:13:15.683 --> 01:13:17.143 Where is he? He? 978 01:13:17.560 --> 01:13:18.853 Jeff. Hang on! 979 01:13:21.147 --> 01:13:22.524 Oops. 980 01:13:23.358 --> 01:13:24.484 Teeth. 981 01:13:58.435 --> 01:14:01.438 Running out of time, Kay. Where is the Light? 982 01:14:02.647 --> 01:14:04.149 Right here. 983 01:14:05.150 --> 01:14:07.360 What? What, I'm the Light? 984 01:14:08.278 --> 01:14:10.864 No. No way. You have a planet to save. 985 01:14:11.030 --> 01:14:13.533 You're mistaken. I work at a pizzeria. 986 01:14:13.700 --> 01:14:17.662 Two days ago, I was running a post office. You are who you are. 987 01:14:17.829 --> 01:14:20.915 Laura, you are the Light. 988 01:14:21.082 --> 01:14:24.836 The leader of your people. Their spirit and their hope. 989 01:14:25.003 --> 01:14:27.714 The power is within you to save a planet. 990 01:14:27.881 --> 01:14:32.177 I protected you until it was your time. Your time is now. 991 01:14:36.639 --> 01:14:40.393 You will save a world. You know things before they happen. 992 01:14:40.560 --> 01:14:42.687 I'm a Libra. You're Zarthan. 993 01:14:42.854 --> 01:14:47.066 When you get sad, it rains. Lots of people get sad when it rains. 994 01:14:47.400 --> 01:14:50.069 It rains because you're sad, baby. 995 01:15:43.289 --> 01:15:44.916 It's not fair. 996 01:15:50.797 --> 01:15:52.465 Never is. 997 01:15:54.217 --> 01:15:55.843 We are who we are, 998 01:15:56.010 --> 01:15:58.513 even if we sometimes forget. 999 01:16:07.939 --> 01:16:10.483 Jeff, I am so not in the mood for you! 1000 01:16:10.650 --> 01:16:12.402 Get back in the subway! Now! 1001 01:16:18.950 --> 01:16:20.201 That's not good. 1002 01:16:22.078 --> 01:16:24.747 Wait! No! Aah! 1003 01:16:25.039 --> 01:16:26.374 Jay! 1004 01:16:27.000 --> 01:16:31.421 I cannot emphasize enough how much we need you on that transport. 1005 01:16:32.839 --> 01:16:35.133 Laura! You have to go! 1006 01:16:35.550 --> 01:16:36.926 Oh, jeez. 1007 01:16:38.970 --> 01:16:41.764 Go. He's fine. He does this all the time. 1008 01:16:42.849 --> 01:16:44.100 Nope! 1009 01:16:46.477 --> 01:16:49.355 About to lay the smackdown on your candy ass. 1010 01:16:49.772 --> 01:16:52.108 Laura! It's your destiny! 1011 01:16:52.358 --> 01:16:54.277 I was talking, Kay! Aah! 1012 01:16:55.778 --> 01:16:57.947 Hey! No biting. 1013 01:16:59.699 --> 01:17:02.076 If you don't go, we all die. 1014 01:17:05.288 --> 01:17:07.874 You're just as beautiful as your mother. 1015 01:17:14.547 --> 01:17:16.382 Kay? A little help? 1016 01:17:29.228 --> 01:17:30.355 Kay? 1017 01:17:32.190 --> 01:17:34.734 Might I suggest a bigger gun? 1018 01:18:01.260 --> 01:18:02.845 Kid? Yeah. 1019 01:18:03.304 --> 01:18:06.641 Thanks for bringing me back. No problem. 1020 01:18:07.266 --> 01:18:08.768 Why didn't you tell me? 1021 01:18:08.935 --> 01:18:11.062 Would you have let her go? 1022 01:18:32.500 --> 01:18:36.379 So, what's it like on the outside? Not doing this every day? 1023 01:18:36.546 --> 01:18:37.964 It's nice. 1024 01:18:38.131 --> 01:18:41.968 Sleep late on the weekends. Watch the Weather Channel. 1025 01:18:45.471 --> 01:18:47.598 I did miss this city. 1026 01:18:48.808 --> 01:18:52.353 So Laura is Princess Lauranna's daughter. 1027 01:18:54.272 --> 01:18:57.650 Did y'all...? MiB is a mess. Let's go, kid. 1028 01:18:58.443 --> 01:18:59.652 Let's go? 1029 01:18:59.819 --> 01:19:04.115 Thousands of people in New York and New Jersey saw our little event. 1030 01:19:04.282 --> 01:19:08.661 Plan needs to be thought out. Plan needs to be cool. What you...? 1031 01:19:13.332 --> 01:19:15.293 Kid, I'll get you trained yet. 1032 01:19:15.460 --> 01:19:17.003 I want one of those. 1033 01:19:17.170 --> 01:19:18.421 Damn! 1034 01:19:23.259 --> 01:19:24.469 Hey Hey. 1035 01:19:24.635 --> 01:19:27.054 How you doing? I'm good, man. 1036 01:19:27.221 --> 01:19:31.768 We've all been there. The girl is gone and it hurts. Wanna talk'? 1037 01:19:31.934 --> 01:19:33.478 No. I can help. 1038 01:19:33.644 --> 01:19:34.687 No. 1039 01:19:34.854 --> 01:19:35.855 Still sulking? 1040 01:19:36.022 --> 01:19:37.064 No. Yeah. 1041 01:19:37.231 --> 01:19:41.486 Hell, you miss her. It happens to all of us. I knew this hot young thing. 1042 01:19:41.652 --> 01:19:45.239 When our bodies were in the positions of the Kamasutra... 1043 01:19:45.406 --> 01:19:46.949 Zed! Ah... 1044 01:19:47.158 --> 01:19:49.035 Come on, man! Damn! 1045 01:19:49.410 --> 01:19:54.040 I'll tell you about dames. They say they want to be scratched, but they really want is: 1046 01:19:55.541 --> 01:19:56.709 Hey! Frank. 1047 01:19:56.876 --> 01:19:59.587 What? Still sitting shiva? Want my advice? 1048 01:19:59.754 --> 01:20:01.672 No. No advice. 1049 01:20:01.839 --> 01:20:03.382 No talking. 1050 01:20:04.008 --> 01:20:05.301 Hell, no. 1051 01:20:05.468 --> 01:20:08.137 Fellas, I swear, I'm fine. 1052 01:20:09.096 --> 01:20:11.891 All hail Jay! All hail Jay! 1053 01:20:12.433 --> 01:20:14.227 I brought them from Grand Central. 1054 01:20:14.393 --> 01:20:16.062 Why put them in my locker? 1055 01:20:16.229 --> 01:20:18.564 I thought it would put things in perspective. 1056 01:20:18.731 --> 01:20:21.400 It's kind of sad. We need to let them out. 1057 01:20:21.567 --> 01:20:23.778 They need to know the world is bigger than that. 1058 01:20:25.112 --> 01:20:26.447 Still a rookie. 1059 01:20:29.700 --> 01:20:31.077 Whoa.