WEBVTT FILE

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<i>Once upon a time
in a kingdom far, far away,</i>

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<i>the king and queen were blessed
with a beautiful baby girl.</i>

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<i>And throughout the land,
everyone was happy...</i>

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<i>until the sun went down</i>

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<i>and they saw that their daughter was
cursed with a frightful enchantment</i>

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<i>that took hold each and every night.</i>

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<i>Desperate, they sought the help
of a fairy godmother</i>

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<i>who had them lock the young princess
away in a tower,</i>

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<i>there to await the kiss...
of the handsome Prince Charming.</i>

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[Horse whinnies]

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<i>It was he who would chance
the perilous journey</i>

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<i>through blistering cold
and scorching desert</i>

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<i>travelling for many days and nights,</i>

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<i>risking life and limb</i>

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<i>to reach the Dragon's keep.</i>

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[Crows caw]

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For he was the bravest,

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and most handsome...

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in all the land.

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And it was destiny that his kiss

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would break the dreaded curse.

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He alone would climb to the highest room
of the tallest tower

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to enter the princess's chambers,
cross the room to her sleeping silhouette,

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pull back the gossamer curtains
to find her... [gasps]

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What?

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- Princess... Fiona?
- No!

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[Sighs relief] Oh, thank heavens.
Where is she?

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- She's on her honeymoon.
- Honeymoon? With whom?

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<i>[Counting Crows: Accidentally In Love]</i>

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<i>So she said
what's the problem, baby?</i>

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<i>What's the problem?
I don't know</i>

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<i>Well, maybe I'm in love</i>

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<i>Think about it
every time I think 'bout it</i>

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<i>Can't stop thinking 'bout it</i>

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<i>How much longer
will it take to cure this?</i>

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<i>Just to cure it,
cause I can't ignore it</i>

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<i>If it's love, love</i>

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<i>Makes me wanna turn around
and face me</i>

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<i>But I don't know nothing
'bout love</i>

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<i>Oh, come on, come on</i>

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<i>- [screams]
- Turn a little faster</i>

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<i>Come on, come on</i>

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<i>The world will follow after</i>

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<i>Come on, come on</i>

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<i>Everybody's after love</i>

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<i>So I said
I'm a snowball running</i>

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<i>Running down into this spring
that's coming all this love</i>

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<i>Melting under blue skies
belting out sunlight</i>

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<i>Shimmering love</i>

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<i>Well, baby, I surrender</i>

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<i>To the strawberry ice cream</i>

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<i>Never ever end of all this love</i>

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<i>Well, I didn't mean to do it</i>

54
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<i>But there's no escaping your love</i>

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<i>These lines of lightning
mean we're never alone</i>

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<i>Never alone, no, no</i>

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<i>Come on, come on</i>

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<i>Jump a little higher</i>

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<i>Come on, come on</i>

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<i>If you feel a little lighter</i>

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<i>Come on, come on</i>

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<i>We were once upon a time in love</i>

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Hyah!

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<i>We're accidentally in love</i>

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<i>Accidentally in love</i>

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<i>Accidentally in love</i>

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<i>Accidentally in love</i>

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<i>Accidentally in love</i>

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<i>Accidentally in love</i>

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<i>Accidentally in love</i>

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<i>Accidentally</i>

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<i>I'm in love, I'm in love,
I'm in love, I'm in love</i>

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<i>I'm in love, I'm in love</i>

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<i>Accidentally in love</i>

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<i>I'm in love</i>

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<i>I'm in love</i>

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It's so good to be home!

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- [Distant singing]
- [Giggling]

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Just you and me and...

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[Donkey sings]

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<i>- Two can be as bad as one...
- Donkey?</i>

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Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two
a sight for sore eyes!

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Give us a hug, Shrek,
you old love machine.

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[Chuckles]

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And look at you, Mrs. Shrek.
How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?

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Donkey, what are you doing here?

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Taking care of your love nest for you.

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Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail
and watering the plants?

89
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- Yeah, and feeding the fish!
- I don't have any fish.

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You do now. I call that one Shrek
and the other Fiona.

91
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That Shrek is a rascally devil.
Get your...

92
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Look at the time.
I guess you'd better be going.

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Don't you want to tell me about your trip?
Or how about a game of Parcheesi?

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Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be
getting home to Dragon?

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Oh, yeah, that.

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I don't know.
She's been all moody and stuff lately.

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I thought I'd move in with you.

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You know we're always happy
to see you, Donkey.

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But Fiona and I are married now.

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We need a little time, you know,
to be together.

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Just with each other.

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Alone.

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Say no more.
You don't have to worry about a thing.

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I will always be here to make sure
nobody bothers you.

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- Donkey!
- Yes, roomie?

106
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You're bothering me.

107
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Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess...

108
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Me and Pinocchio was going to catch
a tournament, anyway, so...

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Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday
for a barbecue or something.

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He'll be fine.
Now, where were we?

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[Giggles] Oh.

112
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I think I remember.

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- Donkey!
- [Fiona yelps]

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I know, I know! Alone!
I'm going! I'm going.

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What do you want me
to tell these other guys?

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[Fanfare]

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<i>[theme to Hawaii Five-O]</i>

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Enough, Reggie.

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[Clears throat] "Dearest Princess Fiona.

120
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"You are hereby summoned
to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away

121
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"for a royal ball
in celebration of your marriage

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"at which time the King

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"will bestow his royal blessing...
upon you and your..."

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uh..."Prince Charming.

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"Love, the King and Queen
of Far, Far Away.

126
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"Aka Mom and Dad."

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Mom and Dad?

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- Prince Charming?
- Royal ball? Can I come?

129
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- We're not going.
- [Both] What?

130
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I mean, don't you think
they might be a bit...

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shocked to see you like this?

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[Chuckles] Well, they might be
a bit surprised.

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But they're my parents, Shrek.
They love me.

134
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And don't worry.
They'll love you, too.

135
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Yeah, right.

136
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Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome
at the country club.

137
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Stop it.
They're not like that.

138
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How do you explain Sergeant Pompous
and the Fancy Pants Club Band?

139
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Oh, come on! You could at least
give them a chance.

140
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To do what?
Sharpen their pitchforks?

141
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No! They just want
to give you their blessing.

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Oh, great.
Now I need their blessing?

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If you want to be a part
of this family, yes!

144
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Who says I want
to be part of this family?

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You did!
When you married me!

146
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Well, there's some fine print for you!

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[Exasperated sigh]
So that's it. You won't come?

148
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Trust me. It's a bad idea.
We are not going! And that's final!

149
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Come on!
We don't want to hit traffic!

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[Gingy] Don't worry!
We'll take care of everything.

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[All cheer]

152
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- Hey, wait for me. Oof!
- [Glass breaks]

153
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[Sighs]

154
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<i>[Chic: Le Freak]</i>

155
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<i>Hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up!
Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up!</i>

156
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<i>Rawhide! Move 'em on!
Head 'em up!</i>

157
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<i>Move 'em on! Move 'em on!
Head 'em up! Rawhide!</i>

158
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<i>Ride 'em up! Move 'em on!
Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide!</i>

159
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<i>Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead!
Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks!</i>

160
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<i>Meet their mamas!
Milk 'em hard!</i>

161
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<i>Rawhide!
Yee-haw!</i>

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- [Donkey] Are we there yet?
- [Shrek] No.

163
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- [Donkey] Are we there yet?
- [Fiona] Not yet.

164
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- [Donkey] OK, are we there yet?
- [Fiona] No.

165
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- [Donkey] Are we there yet?
- [Shrek] No!

166
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- [Donkey] Are we there yet?
- [Shrek] Yes.

167
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- Really?
- No!

168
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- Are we there yet?
- [Fiona] No!

169
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- Are we there yet?
- [Shrek] We are not!

170
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- Are we there yet?
- [Shrek & Fiona] No!

171
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- Are we there yet?
- [Shrek mimics]

172
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- That's not funny. That's really immature.
- [Shrek mimics]

173
00:10:01.759 --> 00:10:03.909
- This is why nobody likes ogres.
- [Shrek mimics]

174
00:10:04.095 --> 00:10:05.369
- Your loss!
- [Shrek mimics]

175
00:10:05.513 --> 00:10:08.664
- I'm gonna just stop talking.
- Finally!

176
00:10:08.891 --> 00:10:12.327
This is taking forever, Shrek.
There's no in-flight movie or nothing!

177
00:10:12.562 --> 00:10:16.237
The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey.

178
00:10:16.482 --> 00:10:20.600
That's where we're going.
Far, far...

179
00:10:20.861 --> 00:10:22.419
[softly] away!

180
00:10:22.571 --> 00:10:26.007
All right, all right, I get it.
I'm just so darn bored.

181
00:10:26.241 --> 00:10:28.709
Well, find a way
to entertain yourself.

182
00:10:28.910 --> 00:10:30.901
[Sighs]

183
00:10:35.918 --> 00:10:37.556
[Deep sigh]

184
00:10:42.090 --> 00:10:43.842
[Clicks tongue]

185
00:10:44.426 --> 00:10:45.541
[Popping]

186
00:10:49.180 --> 00:10:51.136
- [Popping]
- [Exasperated sigh]

187
00:10:51.557 --> 00:10:54.071
For five minutes...

188
00:10:54.269 --> 00:10:56.146
Could you not be yourself...

189
00:10:56.313 --> 00:10:58.702
[shouts]... for five minutes!

190
00:11:03.819 --> 00:11:05.650
- [Popping]
- [Shrieks]

191
00:11:05.821 --> 00:11:07.493
Are we there yet?

192
00:11:07.656 --> 00:11:10.216
- [Chuckles] Yes!
- Oh, finally!

193
00:11:10.409 --> 00:11:12.445
[Fanfare]

194
00:11:19.627 --> 00:11:21.936
<i>[Lipps, Inc: Funkytown]</i>

195
00:11:22.129 --> 00:11:24.085
Wow!

196
00:11:25.382 --> 00:11:29.580
It's going to be champagne wishes
and caviar dreams from now on.

197
00:11:29.845 --> 00:11:32.598
Hey, good-looking!
We'll be back to pick you up later!

198
00:11:32.806 --> 00:11:38.085
<i>Gotta make a move
to a town that's right for me</i>

199
00:11:41.356 --> 00:11:43.870
We are definitely not
in the swamp anymore.

200
00:11:44.067 --> 00:11:47.139
[Whistle] Halt!

201
00:11:48.112 --> 00:11:53.186
<i>Well, I talk about it, talk about it,
talk about it, talk about it</i>

202
00:11:55.286 --> 00:11:57.641
Hey, everyone, look.

203
00:11:57.831 --> 00:12:01.187
<i>Talk about, talk about movin'...</i>

204
00:12:08.632 --> 00:12:12.511
Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh?
You working that hat.

205
00:12:20.770 --> 00:12:23.204
[Donkey] Swimming pools!
Movie stars!

206
00:12:25.065 --> 00:12:27.021
[Cheering]

207
00:12:46.795 --> 00:12:47.910
[Applause]

208
00:12:53.885 --> 00:12:56.399
[Fanfare]

209
00:12:59.140 --> 00:13:01.700
Announcing the long-awaited return

210
00:13:01.893 --> 00:13:06.284
of the beautiful Princess Fiona
and her new husband.

211
00:13:08.107 --> 00:13:09.859
Well, this is it.

212
00:13:10.026 --> 00:13:11.903
- This is it.
- This is it.

213
00:13:12.069 --> 00:13:13.297
This is it.

214
00:13:14.154 --> 00:13:15.951
[Fanfare]

215
00:13:19.994 --> 00:13:21.427
[Fanfare and cheering stop]

216
00:13:21.579 --> 00:13:22.568
[Gasps]

217
00:13:22.705 --> 00:13:23.740
[Tweeting]

218
00:13:28.627 --> 00:13:31.061
[Baby wails]

219
00:13:35.467 --> 00:13:39.346
Uh... why don't you guys go ahead?
I'll park the car.

220
00:13:42.558 --> 00:13:44.753
[Chuckles] So...

221
00:13:44.935 --> 00:13:47.813
you still think
this was a good idea?

222
00:13:48.021 --> 00:13:52.253
Of course! Look.
Mom and Dad look happy to see us.

223
00:13:52.525 --> 00:13:56.564
- [Softly] Who on earth are they?
- [Softly] I think that's our little girl.

224
00:13:56.821 --> 00:14:00.018
That's not little!
That's a really big problem.

225
00:14:00.241 --> 00:14:03.392
Wasn't she supposed to kiss
Prince Charming and break the spell?

226
00:14:03.620 --> 00:14:06.692
Well, he's no Prince Charming,
but they do look...

227
00:14:06.914 --> 00:14:10.429
[softly] Happy now?
We came. We saw them.

228
00:14:10.668 --> 00:14:12.943
Now let's go before
they light the torches.

229
00:14:13.129 --> 00:14:16.280
- They're my parents.
- Hello? They locked you in a tower.

230
00:14:16.507 --> 00:14:17.940
That was for my own...

231
00:14:18.091 --> 00:14:21.766
Good! Here's our chance. Let's go
back inside and pretend we're not home.

232
00:14:22.012 --> 00:14:23.206
Harold, we have to be...

233
00:14:23.347 --> 00:14:26.145
Quick! While they're not looking
we can make a run for it.

234
00:14:26.350 --> 00:14:28.261
Shrek, stop it!
Everything's gonna be...

235
00:14:28.435 --> 00:14:30.665
A disaster! There is no way...

236
00:14:30.854 --> 00:14:32.412
- You can do this.
- I really...

237
00:14:32.564 --> 00:14:34.953
- Really...
- don't... want... to... be...

238
00:14:35.150 --> 00:14:37.141
Here!

239
00:14:39.154 --> 00:14:42.146
Mom... Dad...

240
00:14:43.701 --> 00:14:45.532
I'd like you to meet my husband...

241
00:14:45.702 --> 00:14:47.420
Shrek.

242
00:14:49.831 --> 00:14:51.583
Well, um...

243
00:14:51.750 --> 00:14:54.947
It's easy to see where Fiona
gets her good looks from.

244
00:14:55.169 --> 00:14:57.729
[Chuckles nervously]

245
00:15:02.301 --> 00:15:03.780
[Gulps]

246
00:15:31.747 --> 00:15:33.066
[Belches]

247
00:15:33.207 --> 00:15:35.357
- Excuse me.
- [Shrek & Fiona laugh]

248
00:15:35.542 --> 00:15:39.091
Better out than in,
I always say, eh, Fiona?

249
00:15:39.337 --> 00:15:40.816
[Both giggle]

250
00:15:41.548 --> 00:15:43.300
[Shrek] That's good.

251
00:15:44.175 --> 00:15:45.164
I guess not.

252
00:15:45.301 --> 00:15:45.701
What do you mean, "not on the list"?
Don't tell me you don't know who I am.

253
00:15:45.718 --> 00:15:49.552
What do you mean, "not on the list"?
Don't tell me you don't know who I am.

254
00:15:49.806 --> 00:15:52.366
What's happening, everybody?
Thanks for waiting.

255
00:15:52.559 --> 00:15:56.791
- I had the hardest time finding this place.
- No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down!

256
00:15:57.063 --> 00:15:59.782
No, Dad! It's all right.
It's all right. He's with us.

257
00:15:59.982 --> 00:16:03.292
- He helped rescue me from the dragon.
- That's me: The noble steed.

258
00:16:03.527 --> 00:16:05.438
Waiter!
How 'bout a bowl for the steed?

259
00:16:05.613 --> 00:16:07.126
Oh, boy.

260
00:16:08.408 --> 00:16:09.636
[Slurps]

261
00:16:09.784 --> 00:16:11.297
- Um, Shrek?
- Yeah?

262
00:16:11.452 --> 00:16:14.808
Oh, sorry!
Great soup, Mrs Q.

263
00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:16.028
Mmm!

264
00:16:16.165 --> 00:16:18.042
No, no. Darling.

265
00:16:18.876 --> 00:16:20.992
[Chuckles nervously] Oh!

266
00:16:23.046 --> 00:16:26.356
So, Fiona, tell us
about where you live.

267
00:16:26.591 --> 00:16:28.104
Well...

268
00:16:28.260 --> 00:16:30.490
Shrek owns his own land.

269
00:16:31.263 --> 00:16:33.902
- Don't you, honey?
- Oh, yes!

270
00:16:34.099 --> 00:16:36.772
It's in an enchanted forest

271
00:16:36.977 --> 00:16:41.528
abundant in squirrels
and cute little duckies and...

272
00:16:41.815 --> 00:16:43.043
[laughing] What?

273
00:16:43.191 --> 00:16:45.307
I know you ain't
talking about the swamp.

274
00:16:45.485 --> 00:16:49.444
An ogre from a swamp.
Oh! How original.

275
00:16:49.698 --> 00:16:52.496
I suppose that would be a fine place
to raise the children.

276
00:16:52.701 --> 00:16:54.657
- [Splutters]
- [Chokes]

277
00:17:03.252 --> 00:17:05.812
It's a bit early to be
thinking about that, isn't it?

278
00:17:06.005 --> 00:17:08.803
- Indeed. I just started eating.
- Harold!

279
00:17:09.008 --> 00:17:12.045
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Dad. It's great, OK?

280
00:17:12.262 --> 00:17:14.935
- For his type, yes.
- My type?

281
00:17:15.139 --> 00:17:16.413
I got to go to the bathroom.

282
00:17:16.557 --> 00:17:19.913
- Dinner is served!
- Never mind. I can hold it.

283
00:17:25.816 --> 00:17:26.885
<i>Bon appetit!</i>

284
00:17:27.025 --> 00:17:29.380
Oh, Mexican food!
My favourite.

285
00:17:29.569 --> 00:17:33.039
Let's not sit here with our tummies
rumbling. Everybody dig in.

286
00:17:33.282 --> 00:17:34.556
Don't mind if I do, Lillian.

287
00:17:34.700 --> 00:17:38.375
I suppose any grandchildren
I could expect from you would be...

288
00:17:38.620 --> 00:17:40.850
Ogres, yes!

289
00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:43.872
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Right, Harold?

290
00:17:44.084 --> 00:17:45.756
Oh, no! No! Of course, not!

291
00:17:45.919 --> 00:17:48.991
That is, assuming you don't
eat your own young!

292
00:17:49.213 --> 00:17:49.963
Dad!

293
00:17:50.089 --> 00:17:54.526
No, we usually prefer the ones
who've been locked away in a tower!

294
00:17:54.803 --> 00:17:58.352
- Shrek, please!
- I only did that because I love her.

295
00:17:58.598 --> 00:18:00.793
Aye, day care
or dragon-guarded castle.

296
00:18:00.975 --> 00:18:04.012
You wouldn't understand.
You're not her father!

297
00:18:08.816 --> 00:18:11.535
It's so nice to have the family
together for dinner.

298
00:18:16.032 --> 00:18:17.260
- Harold!
- Shrek!

299
00:18:17.408 --> 00:18:18.363
- Fiona!
- Fiona!

300
00:18:18.492 --> 00:18:19.641
- Mom!
- Harold...

301
00:18:19.785 --> 00:18:20.774
Donkey!

302
00:19:15.422 --> 00:19:19.301
[Glissando]

303
00:19:23.931 --> 00:19:26.923
<i>Your fallen tears have called to me</i>

304
00:19:27.976 --> 00:19:31.764
<i>So, here comes my sweet remedy</i>

305
00:19:32.939 --> 00:19:37.171
<i>I know what every princess needs</i>

306
00:19:37.443 --> 00:19:42.073
<i>For her to live life happily...</i>

307
00:19:42.950 --> 00:19:44.178
[both gasp]

308
00:19:44.326 --> 00:19:48.239
Oh, my dear.
Oh, look at you.

309
00:19:49.414 --> 00:19:51.245
You're all grown up.

310
00:19:51.958 --> 00:19:54.870
- Who are you?
- Oh, sweet pea!

311
00:19:55.086 --> 00:19:56.997
I'm your fairy godmother.

312
00:19:57.171 --> 00:19:59.685
- I have a fairy godmother?
- Shush, shush.

313
00:19:59.883 --> 00:20:04.035
Now, don't worry.
I'm here to make it all better.

314
00:20:04.304 --> 00:20:07.262
With just a...

315
00:20:08.057 --> 00:20:11.527
<i>Wave of my magic wand
Your troubles will soon be gone</i>

316
00:20:11.769 --> 00:20:16.445
<i>With a flick of the wrist and just a flash
You'll land a prince with a ton of cash</i>

317
00:20:16.732 --> 00:20:18.563
<i>A high-priced dress
made by mice no less</i>

318
00:20:18.734 --> 00:20:20.725
<i>Some crystal glass pumps
And no more stress</i>

319
00:20:20.903 --> 00:20:22.814
<i>Your worries will vanish,
your soul will cleanse</i>

320
00:20:22.989 --> 00:20:24.661
<i>Confide in your very own
furniture friends</i>

321
00:20:24.824 --> 00:20:27.816
<i>We'll help you set a new fashion trend</i>

322
00:20:28.035 --> 00:20:31.869
<i>- I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great
- The kind of girl a prince would date!</i>

323
00:20:32.122 --> 00:20:34.317
<i>They'll write your name
on the bathroom wall...</i>

324
00:20:34.499 --> 00:20:36.455
<i>"For a happy ever after,
give Fiona a call!"</i>

325
00:20:36.626 --> 00:20:40.460
<i>A sporty carriage to ride in style,
Sexy man boy chauffeur, Kyle</i>

326
00:20:40.713 --> 00:20:44.149
<i>Banish your blemishes, tooth decay,
Cellulite thighs will fade away</i>

327
00:20:44.384 --> 00:20:46.944
<i>And oh, what the hey!
Have a bichon frisé!</i>

328
00:20:47.137 --> 00:20:50.812
<i>Nip and tuck, here and there
to land that prince with the perfect hair</i>

329
00:20:51.057 --> 00:20:54.333
<i>Lipstick liners, shadows blush
To get that prince with the sexy tush</i>

330
00:20:54.560 --> 00:20:57.438
<i>Lucky day, hunk buffet
You and your prince take a roll in the hay</i>

331
00:20:57.647 --> 00:21:00.764
<i>You can spoon on the moon
With the prince to the tune</i>

332
00:21:00.983 --> 00:21:03.497
<i>Don't be drab, you'll be fab
Your prince will have rock-hard abs</i>

333
00:21:03.695 --> 00:21:06.209
<i>Cheese soufflé, Valentine's Day
Have some chicken fricassee!</i>

334
00:21:06.406 --> 00:21:08.840
<i>Nip and tuck, here and there
To land that prince with the perfect hair</i>

335
00:21:09.033 --> 00:21:11.024
Stop!

336
00:21:11.202 --> 00:21:12.874
[Chuckles] Look...

337
00:21:13.037 --> 00:21:15.631
Thank you very much,
Fairy Godmother,

338
00:21:15.831 --> 00:21:18.584
but I really don't need all this.

339
00:21:18.792 --> 00:21:20.908
[Gasps and mutterings of disapproval]

340
00:21:21.086 --> 00:21:23.520
- Fine. Be that way.
- We didn't like you, anyway.

341
00:21:23.714 --> 00:21:26.672
- [Knocking]
- [Shrek] Fiona? Fiona?

342
00:21:26.884 --> 00:21:28.920
[Dog barks]

343
00:21:30.846 --> 00:21:33.804
Oh! You got a puppy?
All I got in my room was shampoo.

344
00:21:34.016 --> 00:21:35.608
Oh, uh...

345
00:21:35.767 --> 00:21:37.678
Fairy Godmother, furniture...

346
00:21:37.853 --> 00:21:38.808
[giggles]

347
00:21:38.937 --> 00:21:41.167
I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.

348
00:21:41.397 --> 00:21:44.833
Your husband? What? What did you say?
When did this happen?

349
00:21:45.069 --> 00:21:46.661
Shrek is the one who rescued me.

350
00:21:46.820 --> 00:21:50.574
- But that can't be right.
- Oh, great, more relatives!

351
00:21:50.824 --> 00:21:52.542
She's just trying to help.

352
00:21:52.701 --> 00:21:55.773
Good! She can help us pack.
Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.

353
00:21:55.995 --> 00:21:57.428
- What?
- I don't want to leave.

354
00:21:57.580 --> 00:21:59.093
When did you decide this?

355
00:21:59.248 --> 00:22:01.762
- Shortly after arriving.
- Look, I'm sorry...

356
00:22:01.959 --> 00:22:05.190
No, that's all right.
I need to go, anyway.

357
00:22:05.422 --> 00:22:08.619
But remember, dear.
If you should ever need me...

358
00:22:08.883 --> 00:22:09.918
happiness...

359
00:22:10.051 --> 00:22:11.689
is just a teardrop away.

360
00:22:11.844 --> 00:22:14.278
Thanks, but we've got all
the happiness we need.

361
00:22:14.472 --> 00:22:16.269
Happy, happy, happy...

362
00:22:16.432 --> 00:22:18.502
[laughs] So I see.

363
00:22:18.684 --> 00:22:20.481
Let's go, Kyle.

364
00:22:23.272 --> 00:22:24.705
- Very nice, Shrek.
- What?

365
00:22:24.856 --> 00:22:27.495
I told you coming here was a bad idea.

366
00:22:27.693 --> 00:22:30.253
You could've at least tried
to get along with my father.

367
00:22:30.446 --> 00:22:32.914
I don't think I was going to get
Daddy's blessing,

368
00:22:33.115 --> 00:22:34.787
even if I did want it.

369
00:22:34.950 --> 00:22:38.829
Do you think it might be nice
if somebody asked me what I wanted?

370
00:22:39.079 --> 00:22:41.354
Sure. Do you want me
to pack for you?

371
00:22:41.539 --> 00:22:46.215
You're unbelievable!
You're behaving like a...

372
00:22:46.502 --> 00:22:49.380
- Go on! Say it!
- Like an ogre!

373
00:22:49.590 --> 00:22:50.943
Here's a news flash for you!

374
00:22:51.091 --> 00:22:54.800
Whether your parents like it or not...
I am an ogre!

375
00:22:55.053 --> 00:22:57.726
- [Yelps]
- [Roars]

376
00:23:00.767 --> 00:23:04.521
And guess what, Princess?
That's not about to change.

377
00:23:10.485 --> 00:23:14.398
I've made changes for you, Shrek.
Think about that.

378
00:23:16.490 --> 00:23:20.278
That's real smooth, Shrek.
"I'm an ogre!"

379
00:23:20.536 --> 00:23:22.686
[Mimics Shrek roaring]

380
00:23:26.249 --> 00:23:27.762
[Sniffling]

381
00:23:46.352 --> 00:23:47.751
I knew this would happen.

382
00:23:47.895 --> 00:23:49.726
[Lillian] You should.
You started it.

383
00:23:49.897 --> 00:23:53.731
I can hardly believe that, Lillian.
He's the ogre. Not me.

384
00:23:54.027 --> 00:23:57.258
I think, Harold, you're taking this
a little too personally.

385
00:23:57.489 --> 00:23:59.764
This is Fiona's choice.

386
00:23:59.949 --> 00:24:02.907
But she was supposed to choose
the prince we picked for her.

387
00:24:03.202 --> 00:24:07.161
I mean, you expect me to give
my blessings to this... thing?

388
00:24:07.414 --> 00:24:11.168
Fiona does.
And she'll never forgive you if you don't.

389
00:24:11.461 --> 00:24:15.852
I don't want to lose
our daughter again, Harold.

390
00:24:16.132 --> 00:24:18.646
Oh, you act as if love
is totally predictable.

391
00:24:18.843 --> 00:24:21.516
Don't you remember
when we were young?

392
00:24:21.762 --> 00:24:24.560
We used to walk
down by the lily pond and...

393
00:24:24.765 --> 00:24:27.837
- they were in bloom...
- Our first kiss.

394
00:24:28.060 --> 00:24:29.413
It's not the same!

395
00:24:29.561 --> 00:24:33.395
I don't think you realize that
our daughter has married a monster!

396
00:24:33.649 --> 00:24:35.844
Oh, stop being such a drama king.

397
00:24:36.026 --> 00:24:37.857
Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong!

398
00:24:38.028 --> 00:24:40.906
La, di, da, di, da!
Isn't it all wonderful!

399
00:24:41.114 --> 00:24:43.070
I'd like to know
how it could get any worse!

400
00:24:43.241 --> 00:24:44.435
- Hello, Harold.
- [Gasps]

401
00:24:44.576 --> 00:24:46.532
- What happened?
- Nothing, dear!

402
00:24:46.703 --> 00:24:49.536
Just the old hunting wound
playing up a bit!

403
00:24:49.747 --> 00:24:50.702
[Chuckles]

404
00:24:50.832 --> 00:24:53.346
I'll just stretch it
out here for a while.

405
00:24:53.543 --> 00:24:56.535
You better get in.
We need to talk.

406
00:24:56.755 --> 00:24:58.791
Actually, Fairy Godmother,
off to bed.

407
00:24:58.965 --> 00:25:02.435
[Yawns] Already taken my pills,
and they tend to make me a bit drowsy.

408
00:25:02.677 --> 00:25:06.386
So, how about... we make this
a quick visit. What?

409
00:25:07.807 --> 00:25:10.401
Oh, hello.
Ha-ha-ha!

410
00:25:12.144 --> 00:25:13.702
So, what's new?

411
00:25:13.854 --> 00:25:17.403
You remember my son,
Prince Charming?

412
00:25:17.650 --> 00:25:20.960
Is that you? My gosh!
It's been years.

413
00:25:21.195 --> 00:25:23.265
When did you get back?

414
00:25:23.447 --> 00:25:26.280
Oh, about five minutes ago, actually.

415
00:25:26.492 --> 00:25:29.882
After I endured blistering winds,
scorching desert...

416
00:25:30.120 --> 00:25:32.998
I climbed to the highest room
in the tallest tower...

417
00:25:33.206 --> 00:25:35.481
Mommy can handle this.

418
00:25:35.668 --> 00:25:39.627
He endures blistering winds
and scorching desert!

419
00:25:39.880 --> 00:25:43.668
He climbs to the highest bloody room
of the tallest bloody tower...

420
00:25:43.925 --> 00:25:44.960
And what does he find?

421
00:25:45.093 --> 00:25:48.688
Some gender-confused wolf
telling him that his princess

422
00:25:48.930 --> 00:25:50.727
is already married.

423
00:25:50.890 --> 00:25:53.245
It wasn't my fault.
He didn't get there in time.

424
00:25:53.434 --> 00:25:55.026
Stop the car!

425
00:25:55.186 --> 00:25:56.505
[Crash]

426
00:25:56.647 --> 00:25:58.239
Harold.

427
00:25:59.566 --> 00:26:03.844
You force me to do something
I really don't want to do.

428
00:26:04.112 --> 00:26:05.989
[Gasps] Where are we?

429
00:26:06.155 --> 00:26:09.033
Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy!
May I take your order?

430
00:26:09.241 --> 00:26:13.154
My diet is ruined!
I hope you're happy. Er... okay.

431
00:26:13.412 --> 00:26:16.085
Two Renaissance Wraps,
no mayo... chili rings...

432
00:26:16.290 --> 00:26:19.680
- I'll have the Medieval Meal.
- One Medieval Meal and, Harold...

433
00:26:19.919 --> 00:26:21.830
- Curly fries?
- No, thank you.

434
00:26:22.004 --> 00:26:24.598
- Sourdough soft taco, then?
- No, really, I'm fine.

435
00:26:24.799 --> 00:26:28.508
Your order, Fairy Godmother.
This comes with the Medieval Meal.

436
00:26:28.761 --> 00:26:29.830
There you are, dear.

437
00:26:33.390 --> 00:26:36.985
We made a deal, Harold, and I assume
you don't want me to go back on my part.

438
00:26:37.227 --> 00:26:39.343
[Sighs deeply] Indeed not.

439
00:26:39.521 --> 00:26:42.957
So, Fiona and Charming will be together.

440
00:26:43.192 --> 00:26:46.582
- Yes.
- Believe me, Harold. It's what's best.

441
00:26:46.820 --> 00:26:49.254
Not only for your daughter...

442
00:26:50.615 --> 00:26:52.571
but for your Kingdom.

443
00:26:57.246 --> 00:26:59.282
What am I supposed to do about it?

444
00:27:00.917 --> 00:27:02.828
Use your imagination.

445
00:27:03.712 --> 00:27:05.225
[Whooshing]

446
00:27:25.316 --> 00:27:26.988
[Whinnies]

447
00:27:37.202 --> 00:27:38.521
Oh...

448
00:27:41.206 --> 00:27:43.276
Come on in, Your Majesty.

449
00:27:43.459 --> 00:27:45.419
[Piano plays, people talk]

450
00:27:45.502 --> 00:27:45.775
[Piano plays, people talk]

451
00:27:49.631 --> 00:27:52.384
<i>I like my town</i>

452
00:27:54.052 --> 00:27:57.806
<i>With a little drop of poison</i>

453
00:27:58.931 --> 00:28:01.399
<i>Nobody knows...</i>

454
00:28:01.600 --> 00:28:02.715
[belches]

455
00:28:02.853 --> 00:28:04.764
[Clears throat] Excuse me.

456
00:28:04.938 --> 00:28:07.088
Do I know you?

457
00:28:07.273 --> 00:28:09.946
No, you must be mistaking me
for someone else.

458
00:28:10.151 --> 00:28:13.746
Uh... excuse me.
I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister.

459
00:28:15.781 --> 00:28:18.215
Ah! There you are. Right.

460
00:28:18.409 --> 00:28:23.529
You see, I need to have
someone taken care of.

461
00:28:23.831 --> 00:28:27.949
- Who's the guy?
- Well, he's not a guy, per se.

462
00:28:28.210 --> 00:28:30.007
Um... He's an ogre.

463
00:28:30.170 --> 00:28:32.764
[Crowd gasp]

464
00:28:32.965 --> 00:28:34.557
Hey, buddy, let me clue you in.

465
00:28:34.716 --> 00:28:38.834
There's only one fellow who can handle
a job like that, and, frankly...

466
00:28:39.095 --> 00:28:40.575
he don't like to be disturbed.

467
00:28:40.638 --> 00:28:41.229
He don't like to be disturbed.

468
00:28:41.347 --> 00:28:42.905
Where could I find him?

469
00:28:43.057 --> 00:28:44.695
[Knock on door]

470
00:28:46.437 --> 00:28:48.393
Hello?

471
00:28:49.147 --> 00:28:51.422
Who dares enter my room?

472
00:28:51.608 --> 00:28:55.078
Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting,
but I'm told you're the one to talk to

473
00:28:55.320 --> 00:28:56.958
about an ogre problem?

474
00:28:57.113 --> 00:28:59.308
You are told correct.

475
00:28:59.490 --> 00:29:03.085
But for this, I charge
a great deal of money.

476
00:29:03.327 --> 00:29:05.363
Would... this be enough?

477
00:29:12.295 --> 00:29:17.244
You have engaged my valuable
services, Your Majesty.

478
00:29:17.550 --> 00:29:20.747
Just tell me where
I can find this ogre.

479
00:29:23.931 --> 00:29:26.570
<i>[Eels: I Need Some Sleep]</i>

480
00:29:26.767 --> 00:29:28.166
[Snoring]

481
00:29:36.693 --> 00:29:38.172
[Chimes]

482
00:29:38.862 --> 00:29:45.210
<i>Everyone says
I'm getting down too low</i>

483
00:29:46.286 --> 00:29:52.156
<i>Everyone says
you've just gotta let it go</i>

484
00:29:53.418 --> 00:29:56.091
<i>You just gotta let it go</i>

485
00:30:05.471 --> 00:30:07.939
<i>I need some sleep</i>

486
00:30:08.140 --> 00:30:11.371
<i>Time to put the old horse down</i>

487
00:30:12.854 --> 00:30:15.243
<i>I'm in too deep</i>

488
00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:18.637
<i>And the wheels keep spinning round</i>

489
00:30:19.902 --> 00:30:24.262
<i>Everyone says
you've just gotta let it go</i>

490
00:30:24.448 --> 00:30:26.086
<i>Everyone says
you've just gotta let it go</i>

491
00:30:28.827 --> 00:30:33.582
<i>Dear Knight, I pray that you take
this favour as a token of my gratitude.</i>

492
00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:43.993
[Plays tune]

493
00:30:56.021 --> 00:30:57.295
<i>Dear Diary...</i>

494
00:30:57.439 --> 00:31:00.033
<i>Sleeping Beauty is having
a slumber party tomorrow,</i>

495
00:31:00.233 --> 00:31:03.908
<i>but Dad says I can't go.
He never lets me out after sunset.</i>

496
00:31:04.946 --> 00:31:07.585
<i>Dad says I'm going away for a while.</i>

497
00:31:07.782 --> 00:31:10.012
<i>Must be like some finishing school.</i>

498
00:31:11.076 --> 00:31:12.873
<i>Mom says that when I'm old enough,</i>

499
00:31:13.037 --> 00:31:15.676
<i>my Prince Charming will rescue me
from my tower</i>

500
00:31:15.873 --> 00:31:18.307
<i>and bring me back to my family,</i>

501
00:31:18.501 --> 00:31:21.618
<i>and we'll all live
happily ever after.</i>

502
00:31:23.464 --> 00:31:25.500
<i>Mrs. Fiona Charming.</i>

503
00:31:27.009 --> 00:31:28.840
<i>Mrs. Fiona Charming.</i>

504
00:31:29.011 --> 00:31:30.364
<i>Mrs. Fiona Charming.</i>

505
00:31:30.512 --> 00:31:32.707
<i>[Echoing] Mrs. Fiona Charming.</i>

506
00:31:36.810 --> 00:31:38.402
[Knock on door]

507
00:31:42.482 --> 00:31:45.235
Sorry. I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.

508
00:31:45.443 --> 00:31:50.756
No, no. I was just reading a, uh...
a scary book.

509
00:31:51.074 --> 00:31:55.943
I was hoping you'd let me apologize
for my despicable behaviour earlier.

510
00:31:56.246 --> 00:31:58.601
- Okay...
- I don't know what came over me.

511
00:31:58.790 --> 00:32:02.066
Do you suppose we could pretend
it never happened and start over...

512
00:32:02.293 --> 00:32:05.251
- Look, Your Majesty, I just...
- Please. Call me Dad.

513
00:32:05.463 --> 00:32:09.422
Dad. We both acted like ogres.

514
00:32:09.675 --> 00:32:13.031
Maybe we just need some time
to get to know each other.

515
00:32:13.262 --> 00:32:17.494
Excellent idea! I was actually hoping
you might join me for a morning hunt.

516
00:32:17.767 --> 00:32:19.723
A little father-son time?

517
00:32:21.520 --> 00:32:24.080
I know it would mean
the world to Fiona.

518
00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:32.507
[Sighs]

519
00:32:32.656 --> 00:32:36.854
Shall we say,
7:30 by the old oak?

520
00:32:38.704 --> 00:32:40.615
[Birds twitter]

521
00:32:42.541 --> 00:32:44.497
[Shrek] Face it, Donkey!
We're lost.

522
00:32:44.751 --> 00:32:48.266
We can't be lost. We followed
the King's instructions exactly.

523
00:32:48.505 --> 00:32:50.780
"Head to the
darkest part of the woods..."

524
00:32:50.965 --> 00:32:53.877
"Past the sinister trees
with scary-looking branches."

525
00:32:54.093 --> 00:32:58.245
- The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey!
- We passed that three times already!

526
00:32:58.515 --> 00:33:01.234
You were the one who said
not to stop for directions.

527
00:33:01.434 --> 00:33:05.666
Oh, great. My one chance
to fix things up with Fiona's dad

528
00:33:05.939 --> 00:33:07.850
and I end up lost
in the woods with you!

529
00:33:08.024 --> 00:33:10.174
Don't get huffy!
I'm only trying to help.

530
00:33:10.359 --> 00:33:12.236
I know! I know.

531
00:33:14.738 --> 00:33:17.889
- I'm sorry, all right?
- Hey, don't worry about it.

532
00:33:18.117 --> 00:33:21.154
I just really need to make
things work with this guy.

533
00:33:21.370 --> 00:33:24.089
Yeah, sure. Now let's go
bond with Daddy.

534
00:33:24.707 --> 00:33:25.347
[Purring]

535
00:33:25.374 --> 00:33:26.363
[Purring]

536
00:33:32.214 --> 00:33:33.533
Well, well, well, Donkey.

537
00:33:33.673 --> 00:33:37.109
I know it was kind of a tender
moment back there, but the purring?

538
00:33:37.344 --> 00:33:38.936
What? I ain't purring.

539
00:33:39.096 --> 00:33:41.291
Sure. What's next? A hug?

540
00:33:41.473 --> 00:33:45.466
Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr.
What do you think I am, some kind of a...

541
00:33:45.727 --> 00:33:48.161
Ha-ha!
Fear me, if you dare!

542
00:33:48.355 --> 00:33:49.549
[Hisses]

543
00:33:49.689 --> 00:33:50.758
Look! A little cat.

544
00:33:50.899 --> 00:33:53.936
- Look out, Shrek! He got a piece!
- It's a cat, Donkey.

545
00:33:54.152 --> 00:33:55.983
Come here,
little kitty, kitty.

546
00:33:56.154 --> 00:34:01.069
Come on, little kitty. Come here.
Oh! Come here, little kitty.

547
00:34:02.661 --> 00:34:04.140
- [Screaming]
- Whoa!

548
00:34:04.287 --> 00:34:08.405
- Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming!
- Come on! Get it off! Get it off!

549
00:34:08.666 --> 00:34:10.782
Oh, God. Oh...

550
00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:12.552
No!

551
00:34:14.630 --> 00:34:16.905
- Look out, Shrek! Hold still!
- Get it off!

552
00:34:17.091 --> 00:34:19.047
Shrek! Hold still!

553
00:34:20.344 --> 00:34:24.053
- Did I miss?
- No. You got them.

554
00:34:27.643 --> 00:34:31.318
Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from...

555
00:34:33.190 --> 00:34:35.943
Puss... in Boots!

556
00:34:36.151 --> 00:34:37.630
I'll kill that cat!

557
00:34:37.777 --> 00:34:38.892
Ah-ha-ha!

558
00:34:39.029 --> 00:34:40.985
[Coughs]

559
00:34:44.159 --> 00:34:46.195
[Wheezes]

560
00:34:53.418 --> 00:34:54.373
[Retches]

561
00:34:54.502 --> 00:34:55.457
[Coughs]

562
00:34:56.963 --> 00:35:00.512
- [Chuckles] Hairball.
- Oh! That is nasty!

563
00:35:01.967 --> 00:35:03.605
What should we do with him?

564
00:35:03.762 --> 00:35:06.913
Take the sword and neuter him.
Give him the Bob Barker treatment.

565
00:35:07.140 --> 00:35:08.368
<i>Oh, no! Por favor!
Please!</i>

566
00:35:08.558 --> 00:35:11.152
I implore you!
It was nothing personal, Señor.

567
00:35:11.352 --> 00:35:12.944
I was doing it only for my family.

568
00:35:13.104 --> 00:35:16.983
My mother, she is sick.
And my father lives off the garbage!

569
00:35:17.233 --> 00:35:20.589
The King offered me much in gold
and I have a litter of brothers...

570
00:35:20.819 --> 00:35:22.218
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

571
00:35:22.362 --> 00:35:25.001
Fiona's father paid you to do this?

572
00:35:25.199 --> 00:35:27.119
The rich King? Sí.

573
00:35:27.576 --> 00:35:28.531
[Screams]

574
00:35:30.079 --> 00:35:33.958
Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.

575
00:35:34.208 --> 00:35:37.405
Don't feel bad. Almost everybody
that meets you wants to kill you.

576
00:35:37.627 --> 00:35:38.946
Gee, thanks.

577
00:35:42.090 --> 00:35:46.402
Maybe Fiona would've been better off
if I were some sort of Prince Charming.

578
00:35:46.678 --> 00:35:48.031
That's what the King said.

579
00:35:49.556 --> 00:35:52.673
Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question
was directed at me.

580
00:35:53.894 --> 00:35:56.772
Shrek, Fiona knows
you'd do anything for her.

581
00:35:56.980 --> 00:35:59.972
Well, it's not like
I wouldn't change if I could.

582
00:36:00.191 --> 00:36:04.104
I just... I just wish
I could make her happy.

583
00:36:06.489 --> 00:36:07.922
Hold the phone...

584
00:36:09.409 --> 00:36:11.559
"Happiness."

585
00:36:11.744 --> 00:36:14.497
"A tear drop away."

586
00:36:14.705 --> 00:36:18.380
Donkey! Think of the saddest thing
that's ever happened to you!

587
00:36:18.626 --> 00:36:21.140
Aw, man, where do I begin?

588
00:36:21.337 --> 00:36:25.455
First there was the time that old farmer
tried to sell me for some magic beans.

589
00:36:25.716 --> 00:36:29.311
Then this fool had a party and he have
the guests trying to pin the tail on me.

590
00:36:29.553 --> 00:36:33.466
Then they got drunk and start beating me
with a stick, going "Piñata!!"

591
00:36:33.724 --> 00:36:34.952
What is a piñata, anyway?

592
00:36:35.100 --> 00:36:37.455
No, Donkey! I need you to cry!

593
00:36:37.644 --> 00:36:38.997
Don't go projecting on me.

594
00:36:39.146 --> 00:36:41.137
I know you're feeling bad,
but you got to...

595
00:36:41.314 --> 00:36:43.350
Aaaahhh!

596
00:36:44.192 --> 00:36:46.626
You little, hairy,
litter-licking sack of...

597
00:36:53.869 --> 00:36:55.825
<i>What? Is it on? Is it on?</i>

598
00:36:55.996 --> 00:36:57.190
<i>[Clears throat]</i>

599
00:36:57.330 --> 00:36:59.002
<i>This is Fairy Godmother.</i>

600
00:36:59.207 --> 00:37:01.277
<i>I'm either away
from my desk or with a client.</i>

601
00:37:01.542 --> 00:37:05.820
<i>But if you come by the office, we'll be
glad to make you an appointment.</i>

602
00:37:06.130 --> 00:37:07.802
<i>Have a "happy ever after."</i>

603
00:37:09.843 --> 00:37:11.242
Oh...

604
00:37:12.303 --> 00:37:14.419
Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?

605
00:37:14.597 --> 00:37:17.987
That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey,
on another whirlwind adventure!

606
00:37:18.225 --> 00:37:21.535
<i>Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoo!
We're on the move!</i>

607
00:37:21.770 --> 00:37:26.207
- Stop, Ogre! I have misjudged you.
- Join the club. We've got jackets.

608
00:37:26.483 --> 00:37:30.158
On my honour, I am obliged to accompany
you until I have saved your life

609
00:37:30.404 --> 00:37:32.235
as you have spared me mine.

610
00:37:32.406 --> 00:37:35.557
The position of annoying talking animal
has already been taken.

611
00:37:35.784 --> 00:37:38.537
Let's go, Shrek. Shrek?

612
00:37:47.587 --> 00:37:50.704
- Shrek!
- Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him...

613
00:37:50.923 --> 00:37:52.754
in his wee little boots.

614
00:37:52.926 --> 00:37:56.043
You know, how many cats can wear boots?
Honestly.

615
00:37:56.263 --> 00:37:58.936
- Let's keep him!
- Say what?

616
00:37:59.140 --> 00:38:00.778
[Purrs]

617
00:38:00.934 --> 00:38:02.003
Ahh!

618
00:38:02.143 --> 00:38:03.861
Listen. He's purring!

619
00:38:04.020 --> 00:38:06.978
- Oh, so now it's cute.
- Come on, Donkey. Lighten up.

620
00:38:07.189 --> 00:38:10.429
Lighten up? I should lighten up?
Look who's telling who to lighten up!

621
00:38:12.821 --> 00:38:15.415
[Giggles] Shrek!

622
00:38:15.615 --> 00:38:17.287
[Barks]

623
00:38:17.450 --> 00:38:18.678
[Barks]

624
00:38:20.286 --> 00:38:21.241
Shrek?

625
00:38:32.255 --> 00:38:34.610
They're both festive, aren't they?

626
00:38:34.800 --> 00:38:36.597
What do you think, Harold?

627
00:38:36.760 --> 00:38:38.955
Um... Yes, yes.
Fine. Fine.

628
00:38:39.138 --> 00:38:40.093
[Sighs]

629
00:38:41.098 --> 00:38:44.568
Try to at least pretend you're interested
in your daughter's wedding ball.

630
00:38:44.810 --> 00:38:47.085
Honestly, Lillian,
I don't think it matters.

631
00:38:47.270 --> 00:38:49.500
How do we know there will
even be a ball?

632
00:38:49.689 --> 00:38:51.520
Mom. Dad.

633
00:38:51.691 --> 00:38:55.161
- Oh, hello, dear.
- What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming.

634
00:38:55.946 --> 00:38:57.937
Mom, have you seen Shrek?

635
00:38:58.115 --> 00:39:00.834
I haven't.
You should ask your father.

636
00:39:01.076 --> 00:39:05.467
Be sure and use small words, dear.
He's a little slow this morning.

637
00:39:05.747 --> 00:39:08.056
- Can I help you, Your Majesty?
- Ah, yes! Um...

638
00:39:09.166 --> 00:39:11.680
Mmm! Exquisite.
What do you call this dish?

639
00:39:11.877 --> 00:39:14.869
That would be the dog's breakfast,
Your Majesty.

640
00:39:15.089 --> 00:39:18.684
Ah, yes. Very good, then.
Carry on, Cedric.

641
00:39:18.926 --> 00:39:22.839
- Dad? Dad, have you seen Shrek?
- No, I haven't, dear.

642
00:39:23.097 --> 00:39:26.806
I'm sure he just went off to look for
a nice... mud hole to cool down in.

643
00:39:27.059 --> 00:39:29.175
You know, after your
little spat last night.

644
00:39:29.353 --> 00:39:31.548
Oh. You heard that, huh?

645
00:39:31.730 --> 00:39:33.322
The whole kingdom heard you.

646
00:39:33.482 --> 00:39:36.201
I mean, after all,
it is in his nature to be...

647
00:39:36.402 --> 00:39:37.835
well, a bit of a brute.

648
00:39:37.987 --> 00:39:41.980
Him? You know, you didn't exactly
roll out the Welcome Wagon.

649
00:39:42.241 --> 00:39:45.551
Well, what did you expect?
Look at what he's done to you.

650
00:39:46.411 --> 00:39:49.289
Shrek loves me for who I am.

651
00:39:49.497 --> 00:39:52.011
I would think you'd be happy for me.

652
00:39:52.208 --> 00:39:55.439
Darling, I'm just thinking about
what's best for you.

653
00:39:55.670 --> 00:39:58.867
Maybe you should do the same.

654
00:40:04.387 --> 00:40:05.786
[Both whisper]

655
00:40:12.520 --> 00:40:14.078
No, really?

656
00:40:14.230 --> 00:40:15.185
[Both laugh]

657
00:40:16.231 --> 00:40:18.028
[Shrek] Shh...

658
00:40:19.819 --> 00:40:21.491
Oh...

659
00:40:23.614 --> 00:40:25.013
[hooter blasts]

660
00:40:25.157 --> 00:40:29.230
Oh, no. That's the old Keebler's place.
Let's back away slowly.

661
00:40:29.495 --> 00:40:31.326
That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage.

662
00:40:31.497 --> 00:40:34.807
She's the largest producer of hexes
and potions in the whole kingdom.

663
00:40:35.042 --> 00:40:38.512
Then why don't we pop in there
for a spell? Ha-ha! Spell!

664
00:40:38.753 --> 00:40:40.983
[Puss In Boots
shrieks with laughter]

665
00:40:43.842 --> 00:40:45.514
[Puss In Boots] He makes me laugh.

666
00:40:51.016 --> 00:40:53.211
Hi. I'm here to see the...

667
00:40:53.393 --> 00:40:56.271
The Fairy Godmother.
I'm sorry. She is not in.

668
00:40:56.479 --> 00:40:59.312
<i>Jerome!
Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now!</i>

669
00:40:59.523 --> 00:41:00.672
[Sighs]

670
00:41:00.817 --> 00:41:03.854
Yes, Fairy Godmother.
Right away.

671
00:41:04.070 --> 00:41:06.743
Look, she's not seeing
any clients today, OK?

672
00:41:06.948 --> 00:41:09.018
That's OK, buddy.
We're from the union.

673
00:41:09.200 --> 00:41:10.155
The union?

674
00:41:10.284 --> 00:41:14.482
We represent the workers in all magical
industries, both evil and benign.

675
00:41:14.747 --> 00:41:16.419
Oh! Oh, right.

676
00:41:16.582 --> 00:41:19.494
Are you feeling at all
degraded or oppressed?

677
00:41:19.710 --> 00:41:23.225
Uh... a little.
We don't even have dental.

678
00:41:23.464 --> 00:41:25.056
They don't even have dental.

679
00:41:25.216 --> 00:41:27.411
Okay, we'll just have
a look around.

680
00:41:27.593 --> 00:41:28.742
Oh. By the way.

681
00:41:28.886 --> 00:41:32.037
I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother
didn't know we were here.

682
00:41:32.264 --> 00:41:35.222
- Know what I'm saying? Huh?
- Huh? Huh? Huh?

683
00:41:35.475 --> 00:41:38.592
- Stop it.
- Of course. Go right in.

684
00:41:40.230 --> 00:41:41.709
[Voices and grinding machines]

685
00:42:02.918 --> 00:42:04.067
[Explosion]

686
00:42:08.174 --> 00:42:09.766
A drop of desire.

687
00:42:10.927 --> 00:42:12.679
[Giggles] Naughty!

688
00:42:13.971 --> 00:42:15.563
A pinch of passion.

689
00:42:16.766 --> 00:42:17.721
[Laughs]

690
00:42:20.811 --> 00:42:23.086
And just a hint of...

691
00:42:23.814 --> 00:42:24.929
lust!

692
00:42:27.443 --> 00:42:28.398
[Laughs]

693
00:42:28.527 --> 00:42:30.404
- [Shrek] Excuse me.
- [Gasps]

694
00:42:30.571 --> 00:42:32.209
Sorry to barge in like this...

695
00:42:32.364 --> 00:42:35.356
What in Grimm's name
are you doing here?

696
00:42:35.576 --> 00:42:40.331
Well, it seems
that Fiona's not exactly happy.

697
00:42:40.622 --> 00:42:41.850
Oh-ho-ho!

698
00:42:41.998 --> 00:42:44.466
And there's some question
as to why that is?

699
00:42:45.461 --> 00:42:47.577
Well, let's explore that, shall we?

700
00:42:49.339 --> 00:42:53.093
Ah. P, P, P.
Princess. Cinderella.

701
00:42:53.426 --> 00:42:56.418
Here we are.
"Lived happily ever after." Oh...

702
00:42:56.638 --> 00:42:58.708
[laughs] No ogres!

703
00:42:58.890 --> 00:43:00.209
Let's see. Snow White.

704
00:43:00.350 --> 00:43:03.979
A handsome prince.
Oh, no ogres.

705
00:43:04.228 --> 00:43:06.378
Sleeping Beauty. Oh, no ogres!

706
00:43:06.565 --> 00:43:09.557
Hansel and Gretel? No!
Thumbelina? No.

707
00:43:09.776 --> 00:43:12.574
The Golden Bird,
the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman...

708
00:43:12.779 --> 00:43:15.373
No, no, no, no, no!

709
00:43:15.573 --> 00:43:19.771
You see, ogres don't
live happily ever after.

710
00:43:20.035 --> 00:43:21.593
All right, look, lady!

711
00:43:21.745 --> 00:43:25.294
Don't you point...
those dirty green sausages at me!

712
00:43:26.833 --> 00:43:28.505
Your Monte Cristo and coffee.

713
00:43:28.669 --> 00:43:30.148
Oh! Sorry.

714
00:43:30.296 --> 00:43:32.252
Ah... that's okay.

715
00:43:32.423 --> 00:43:34.618
We were just leaving.

716
00:43:34.800 --> 00:43:37.360
Very sorry to have wasted your time,
Miss Godmother.

717
00:43:37.553 --> 00:43:39.271
Just... go.

718
00:43:39.429 --> 00:43:40.703
Come on, guys.

719
00:43:45.018 --> 00:43:46.736
[Whistles tune]

720
00:43:56.613 --> 00:43:58.490
TGIF, eh, buddy?

721
00:44:00.533 --> 00:44:03.127
Working hard or hardly working,
eh, Mac?

722
00:44:12.378 --> 00:44:15.848
Get your fine Corinthian footwear
and your cat cheeks out of my face!

723
00:44:16.090 --> 00:44:17.967
Man, that stinks!

724
00:44:18.134 --> 00:44:21.206
You don't exactly smell like
a basket of roses.

725
00:44:24.223 --> 00:44:28.660
- Well, one of these has got to help.
- I was just concocting this very plan!

726
00:44:28.935 --> 00:44:31.893
Already our minds are becoming one.

727
00:44:32.106 --> 00:44:36.782
Whoa, whoa. If we need an expert on
licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.

728
00:44:37.069 --> 00:44:38.627
Shrek, this is a bad idea.

729
00:44:38.779 --> 00:44:41.851
Look. Make yourself useful
and go keep watch.

730
00:44:42.074 --> 00:44:45.271
Puss, do you think you
could get to those on top?

731
00:44:45.493 --> 00:44:47.404
No problema, boss.
In one of my nine lives,

732
00:44:47.579 --> 00:44:50.332
I was the great cat burglar
of Santiago de Compostela.

733
00:44:50.540 --> 00:44:51.814
Ha-ha-ha-ha!

734
00:44:51.959 --> 00:44:53.233
Shrek, are you off your nut?

735
00:44:53.377 --> 00:44:54.935
Donkey, keep watch.

736
00:44:55.087 --> 00:44:56.998
Keep watch?
Yeah, I'll keep watch.

737
00:44:57.172 --> 00:45:01.006
I'll watch that wicked witch come and
whammy a world of hurt up your backside.

738
00:45:01.259 --> 00:45:04.057
I'll laugh, too.
I'll be giggling to myself.

739
00:45:04.262 --> 00:45:06.901
- What do you see?
- Toad Stool Softener?

740
00:45:07.098 --> 00:45:11.011
I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution
for marital problems.

741
00:45:11.268 --> 00:45:13.099
- Elfa Seltzer?
- Uh-uh.

742
00:45:13.271 --> 00:45:16.627
- Hex Lax?
- No! Try "handsome."

743
00:45:17.734 --> 00:45:19.087
Sorry. No handsome.

744
00:45:20.444 --> 00:45:23.356
Hey! How about "Happily Ever After"?

745
00:45:23.572 --> 00:45:25.608
Well, what does it do?

746
00:45:26.408 --> 00:45:29.002
It says "Beauty Divine."

747
00:45:29.203 --> 00:45:32.400
In some cultures, donkeys are revered
as the wisest of creatures.

748
00:45:32.622 --> 00:45:34.135
Especially us talking ones.

749
00:45:34.292 --> 00:45:36.328
[Gasps] Donkey!

750
00:45:38.045 --> 00:45:39.876
That'll have to do.
We've got company.

751
00:45:47.429 --> 00:45:48.657
Can we get on with this?

752
00:45:52.016 --> 00:45:53.574
Hurry!

753
00:46:02.235 --> 00:46:03.634
Nice catch, Donkey!

754
00:46:03.820 --> 00:46:05.697
Finally! A good use for your mouth.

755
00:46:07.740 --> 00:46:09.617
<i>[Pete Yorn: Ever Fallen In Love]</i>

756
00:46:10.242 --> 00:46:11.197
Come on!

757
00:46:17.208 --> 00:46:19.722
<i>You spurn my natural emotions</i>

758
00:46:19.919 --> 00:46:23.548
<i>You make me feel like dirt
and I'm hurt</i>

759
00:46:28.135 --> 00:46:30.490
<i>And if I start a commotion</i>

760
00:46:30.679 --> 00:46:34.149
<i>I run the risk of losing you
and that's worse</i>

761
00:46:37.937 --> 00:46:41.486
<i>Ever fallen in love with someone,
ever fallen in love</i>

762
00:46:41.732 --> 00:46:44.166
<i>In love with someone,
ever fallen in love</i>

763
00:46:44.359 --> 00:46:47.510
<i>In love with someone
you shouldn't have fallen in love with</i>

764
00:46:54.202 --> 00:46:57.512
<i>Ever fallen in love with someone,
ever fallen in love</i>

765
00:46:57.747 --> 00:47:00.341
<i>In love with someone,
ever fallen in love</i>

766
00:47:00.542 --> 00:47:03.010
<i>With someone
you shouldn't have fallen in love with</i>

767
00:47:04.546 --> 00:47:06.298
<i>Fallen in love with</i>

768
00:47:07.590 --> 00:47:12.027
<i>Ever fallen in love with someone
you shouldn't have fallen in love with</i>

769
00:47:12.970 --> 00:47:17.486
I don't care whose fault it is.
Just get this place cleaned up!

770
00:47:17.766 --> 00:47:22.442
And somebody bring me something
deep fried and smothered in chocolate!

771
00:47:23.564 --> 00:47:26.920
- Mother!
- Charming. Sweetheart.

772
00:47:27.151 --> 00:47:30.461
This isn't a good time, pumpkin.
Mama's working.

773
00:47:30.696 --> 00:47:32.732
Whoa, what happened here?

774
00:47:32.906 --> 00:47:35.864
- The ogre, that's what!
- What? Where is he, Mom?

775
00:47:36.076 --> 00:47:38.465
I shall rend his head
from his shoulders!

776
00:47:38.662 --> 00:47:40.971
I will smite him where he stands!

777
00:47:41.165 --> 00:47:44.999
He will rue the very day he stole
my kingdom from me!

778
00:47:45.919 --> 00:47:49.594
Oh, put it away, Junior!
You're still going to be king.

779
00:47:49.840 --> 00:47:52.308
We'll just have to come up
with something smarter.

780
00:47:52.509 --> 00:47:54.465
Pardon. Um...

781
00:47:54.636 --> 00:47:58.675
Everything is accounted for,
Fairy Godmother, except for one potion.

782
00:47:58.931 --> 00:47:59.966
What?

783
00:48:01.059 --> 00:48:02.014
Oh...

784
00:48:02.894 --> 00:48:06.011
I do believe we can make
this work to our advantage.

785
00:48:07.941 --> 00:48:11.490
"Happily Ever After Potion.
Maximum strength.

786
00:48:11.736 --> 00:48:14.250
"For you and your true love.

787
00:48:14.447 --> 00:48:17.007
"If one of you drinks this,
you both will be fine.

788
00:48:17.199 --> 00:48:19.918
"Happiness, comfort
and beauty divine."

789
00:48:20.119 --> 00:48:23.668
- You both will be fine?
- I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too.

790
00:48:24.874 --> 00:48:28.389
Hey, man, this don't feel right.
My donkey senses are tingling all over.

791
00:48:28.627 --> 00:48:31.425
Drop that jug o' voodoo
and let's get out of here.

792
00:48:31.630 --> 00:48:34.940
It says, "Beauty Divine."
How bad can it be?

793
00:48:36.051 --> 00:48:36.961
[Sneezes]

794
00:48:37.094 --> 00:48:40.006
See, you're allergic to that stuff.
You'll have a reaction.

795
00:48:40.263 --> 00:48:44.415
And if you think that I'll be smearing
Vapo Rub over your chest, think again!

796
00:48:44.685 --> 00:48:47.563
Boss, just in case there is something
wrong with the potion...

797
00:48:47.771 --> 00:48:49.602
allow me to take the first sip.

798
00:48:49.773 --> 00:48:53.129
It would be an honour to lay my life
on the line for you.

799
00:48:53.360 --> 00:48:55.396
Oh, no, no. I don't think so.

800
00:48:55.570 --> 00:48:58.038
If there'll be any animal testing,
I'll do it.

801
00:48:58.239 --> 00:49:01.231
That's the best friend's job.
Now give me that bottle.

802
00:49:06.623 --> 00:49:08.341
How do you feel?

803
00:49:09.250 --> 00:49:12.526
I don't feel any different.
I look any different?

804
00:49:12.754 --> 00:49:14.824
You still look like an ass to me.

805
00:49:15.006 --> 00:49:17.918
Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys.

806
00:49:18.968 --> 00:49:22.722
- Well, here's to us, Fiona.
- Shrek?

807
00:49:22.971 --> 00:49:26.520
- You drink that, there's no going back.
- I know.

808
00:49:26.768 --> 00:49:28.520
- No more wallowing in the mud?
- I know.

809
00:49:28.686 --> 00:49:30.324
- No more itchy butt crack?
- I know!

810
00:49:30.479 --> 00:49:32.754
- But you love being an ogre!
- I know!

811
00:49:36.610 --> 00:49:38.290
But I love Fiona more.

812
00:49:38.362 --> 00:49:38.600
But I love Fiona more.

813
00:49:39.905 --> 00:49:41.702
Shrek, no! Wait!

814
00:49:45.702 --> 00:49:47.101
[Gurgling]

815
00:49:52.376 --> 00:49:53.525
[Farts]

816
00:49:54.544 --> 00:49:58.776
Got to be... I think you grabbed
the "Farty Ever After" potion.

817
00:49:59.048 --> 00:50:00.766
Maybe it's a dud.

818
00:50:00.925 --> 00:50:01.405
Or maybe Fiona and I
were never meant to be.

819
00:50:01.426 --> 00:50:03.815
Or maybe Fiona and I
were never meant to be.

820
00:50:04.011 --> 00:50:05.763
[Thunder rumbles]

821
00:50:07.641 --> 00:50:11.077
Uh-oh. What did I tell you?
I feel something coming on.

822
00:50:11.311 --> 00:50:14.462
I don't want to die.
I don't want to die. I don't want to die!

823
00:50:14.689 --> 00:50:17.886
Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy.
I'm melting!

824
00:50:18.109 --> 00:50:20.100
I'm melting!

825
00:50:20.277 --> 00:50:22.108
It's just the rain, Donkey.

826
00:50:23.155 --> 00:50:25.510
[Chuckles] Oh.

827
00:51:07.198 --> 00:51:09.996
Don't worry. Things seem bad
because it's dark and rainy

828
00:51:10.202 --> 00:51:12.670
and Fiona's father hired
a sleazy hitman to whack you.

829
00:51:12.871 --> 00:51:13.781
[Hisses]

830
00:51:13.913 --> 00:51:16.825
Lt'll be better in the morning.
You'll see...

831
00:51:17.083 --> 00:51:19.995
<i>The sun'll come out...</i>

832
00:51:20.211 --> 00:51:21.929
<i>Tomorrow</i>

833
00:51:22.088 --> 00:51:22.998
[yawns]

834
00:51:23.130 --> 00:51:24.768
<i>Bet your bottom...</i>

835
00:51:24.924 --> 00:51:26.642
Bet my bottom?

836
00:51:26.800 --> 00:51:28.028
I'm coming, Elizabeth!

837
00:51:28.177 --> 00:51:29.769
Donkey?

838
00:51:29.928 --> 00:51:31.759
Are you all right?

839
00:51:31.931 --> 00:51:35.606
- Hey, boss. Let's shave him.
- D-Donkey?

840
00:51:36.435 --> 00:51:37.390
[Groans]

841
00:51:38.604 --> 00:51:40.515
[Puss In Boots shrieks]

842
00:51:45.235 --> 00:51:47.510
There you are!
We missed you at dinner.

843
00:51:48.988 --> 00:51:50.421
What is it, darling?

844
00:51:50.573 --> 00:51:52.086
Dad...

845
00:51:52.242 --> 00:51:54.472
I've been thinking
about what you said.

846
00:51:55.537 --> 00:51:57.368
And I'm going to set things right.

847
00:51:57.581 --> 00:51:59.970
Ah! Excellent!
That's my girl.

848
00:52:00.166 --> 00:52:02.760
It was a mistake to bring Shrek here.

849
00:52:02.961 --> 00:52:05.600
I'm going to go out and find him.

850
00:52:05.797 --> 00:52:08.755
And then we'll go back
to the swamp where we belong.

851
00:52:12.094 --> 00:52:13.812
[Lillian] Fiona, please!

852
00:52:13.972 --> 00:52:16.805
Let's not be rash, darling.
You can't go anywhere right now.

853
00:52:17.016 --> 00:52:18.165
[Rain patters]

854
00:52:19.852 --> 00:52:21.001
[Both] Fiona!

855
00:53:00.892 --> 00:53:05.647
Look, I told you he was here.
Look at him! Quiet. Look at him.

856
00:53:06.689 --> 00:53:08.088
[Shrek groans]

857
00:53:08.232 --> 00:53:09.711
Good morning, sleepyhead.

858
00:53:09.859 --> 00:53:10.814
[Shrek shouts]

859
00:53:10.943 --> 00:53:12.376
[All] Good morning!

860
00:53:12.528 --> 00:53:14.041
We love your kitty!

861
00:53:14.196 --> 00:53:17.745
- [Shrek] Oh... My head...
- Here, I fetched a pail of water.

862
00:53:17.992 --> 00:53:19.471
Thanks.

863
00:53:19.619 --> 00:53:20.574
Uhh!

864
00:53:23.122 --> 00:53:24.635
Aahh!

865
00:53:24.790 --> 00:53:25.745
Oh...

866
00:53:27.585 --> 00:53:30.099
A cute button nose?

867
00:53:30.295 --> 00:53:32.251
Thick, wavy locks?

868
00:53:33.257 --> 00:53:35.213
Taut, round buttocks?

869
00:53:36.092 --> 00:53:37.525
I'm... I'm...

870
00:53:37.678 --> 00:53:38.997
- Gorgeous!
- I'll say.

871
00:53:39.138 --> 00:53:40.730
I'm Jill. What's your name?

872
00:53:40.890 --> 00:53:44.883
- Um... Shrek.
- Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe?

873
00:53:45.144 --> 00:53:47.339
- You're tense.
- I want to rub his shoulders.

874
00:53:47.521 --> 00:53:50.194
- I got it covered.
- I don't have anything to rub.

875
00:53:50.398 --> 00:53:51.078
Get in line.

876
00:53:51.107 --> 00:53:51.903
Get in line.

877
00:53:52.025 --> 00:53:54.823
- Have you seen my donkey?
- Who are you calling donkey?

878
00:53:56.154 --> 00:53:59.703
- Donkey? You're a...
- A stallion, baby!

879
00:54:00.033 --> 00:54:00.943
I can whinny.

880
00:54:01.076 --> 00:54:03.112
[Whinnies]
I can count.

881
00:54:03.537 --> 00:54:06.370
Look at me, Shrek!
I'm trotting!

882
00:54:07.081 --> 00:54:10.073
That's some quality potion.
What's in that stuff?

883
00:54:10.293 --> 00:54:13.365
"Oh, don't take the potion,
Mr. Boss, it's very bad."

884
00:54:13.587 --> 00:54:14.622
Pah!

885
00:54:14.755 --> 00:54:19.112
"Warning: Side effects may include
burning, itching, oozing, weeping.

886
00:54:19.386 --> 00:54:22.776
"Not intended for heart patients
or those with... nervous disorders."

887
00:54:23.014 --> 00:54:26.006
I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place! Yeah!

888
00:54:28.227 --> 00:54:29.216
What?

889
00:54:29.353 --> 00:54:32.902
Señor? "To make the effects
of this potion permanent,

890
00:54:33.148 --> 00:54:36.584
"the drinker must obtain his
true love's kiss by midnight."

891
00:54:36.818 --> 00:54:39.013
Midnight?
Why is it always midnight?

892
00:54:39.196 --> 00:54:41.915
- Pick me! I'll be your true love!
- I'll be your true love.

893
00:54:42.116 --> 00:54:44.550
I'll be true... enough.

894
00:54:44.785 --> 00:54:47.982
Look, ladies, I already have a true love.

895
00:54:48.205 --> 00:54:49.274
[All] Oh...

896
00:54:49.414 --> 00:54:50.813
And take it from me, Boss.

897
00:54:50.957 --> 00:54:53.949
You are going to have
one satisfied princess.

898
00:54:54.169 --> 00:54:56.729
And let's face it.
You are a lot easier on the eyes.

899
00:54:56.921 --> 00:54:59.230
Inside you're the same
old mean, salty...

900
00:54:59.424 --> 00:55:01.335
- Easy.
...cantankerous, foul,

901
00:55:01.510 --> 00:55:03.228
angry ogre you always been.

902
00:55:03.387 --> 00:55:05.457
And you're still the same
annoying donkey.

903
00:55:05.639 --> 00:55:08.107
- Yeah.
- [Sighs]

904
00:55:08.308 --> 00:55:09.787
Well...

905
00:55:10.476 --> 00:55:14.185
Look out, Princess.
Here comes the new me.

906
00:55:15.022 --> 00:55:16.341
First things first.

907
00:55:16.482 --> 00:55:18.916
- We need to get you out of those clothes.
- [All gasp]

908
00:55:22.739 --> 00:55:24.252
- Ready?
- Ready!

909
00:55:28.202 --> 00:55:30.193
- [Donkey screams]
- Driver, stop!

910
00:55:30.371 --> 00:55:33.363
Oh, God! Help me, please!
My racing days are over!

911
00:55:33.582 --> 00:55:35.220
I'm blind! Tell the truth.

912
00:55:35.375 --> 00:55:37.013
Will I ever play the violin again?

913
00:55:37.169 --> 00:55:38.807
You poor creature!

914
00:55:38.962 --> 00:55:41.078
Is there anything
I can do for you?

915
00:55:41.256 --> 00:55:43.406
Well, I guess there is one thing.

916
00:55:43.592 --> 00:55:46.470
Take off the powdered wig
and step away from your drawers.

917
00:55:50.599 --> 00:55:52.829
- Not bad.
- Not bad at all.

918
00:55:55.854 --> 00:55:56.809
[Both laugh]

919
00:56:00.858 --> 00:56:04.009
Father?
Is everything all right, Father?

920
00:56:09.451 --> 00:56:13.205
Thank you, gentlemen!
Someday, I will repay you.

921
00:56:13.454 --> 00:56:16.810
Unless, of course,
I can't find you or if I forget.

922
00:56:17.041 --> 00:56:20.078
- [Whinnies]
- [Puss In Boots, in angry Spanish]

923
00:56:22.463 --> 00:56:24.021
<i>[Butterfly Boucher: Changes]</i>

924
00:56:24.173 --> 00:56:26.243
<i>Oh, yeah</i>

925
00:56:34.016 --> 00:56:37.770
<i>Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Turn and face the strange</i>

926
00:56:38.020 --> 00:56:40.056
<i>Ch-Ch-Changes</i>

927
00:56:40.230 --> 00:56:42.949
<i>Don't wanna be a richer one</i>

928
00:56:43.149 --> 00:56:44.821
<i>Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes</i>

929
00:56:44.984 --> 00:56:47.452
<i>Turn and face the strange</i>

930
00:56:47.655 --> 00:56:49.486
<i>Ch-Ch-Changes</i>

931
00:56:49.656 --> 00:56:52.489
<i>Just gonna have to be
a different man</i>

932
00:56:52.701 --> 00:56:55.090
<i>Time may change me</i>

933
00:56:55.287 --> 00:56:58.279
<i>But I can't trace time</i>

934
00:57:00.750 --> 00:57:01.626
Halt!

935
00:57:01.751 --> 00:57:05.141
Tell Princess Fiona her husband,
Sir Shrek, is here to see her.

936
00:57:09.885 --> 00:57:13.036
<i>Still don't know what
I was looking for</i>

937
00:57:13.263 --> 00:57:18.576
<i>And my time was running wild,
a million dead-end streets</i>

938
00:57:18.893 --> 00:57:21.851
<i>Every time I thought
I'd got it made</i>

939
00:57:22.062 --> 00:57:24.530
<i>It seemed the taste
was not so sweet</i>

940
00:57:24.732 --> 00:57:26.688
<i>- [screams]
- Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes</i>

941
00:57:26.859 --> 00:57:28.372
<i>Turn and face the strange</i>

942
00:57:28.528 --> 00:57:30.962
<i>- Shrek?
- Ch-Ch-Changes</i>

943
00:57:31.155 --> 00:57:33.794
<i>Don't wanna be a richer one</i>

944
00:57:33.991 --> 00:57:36.630
<i>Time may change me</i>

945
00:57:36.827 --> 00:57:39.341
<i>But I can't trace time</i>

946
00:57:39.538 --> 00:57:40.493
Fiona?

947
00:57:43.834 --> 00:57:45.711
Hello, handsome.

948
00:57:47.629 --> 00:57:48.903
Shrek!

949
00:57:49.088 --> 00:57:52.239
- Princess!
- Donkey?

950
00:57:52.468 --> 00:57:54.504
Wow! That potion
worked on you, too?

951
00:57:54.678 --> 00:57:55.906
What potion?

952
00:57:56.054 --> 00:57:59.091
Shrek and I took some magic potion.
And well...

953
00:57:59.307 --> 00:58:01.423
Now, we're sexy!

954
00:58:02.810 --> 00:58:03.845
Shrek?

955
00:58:03.978 --> 00:58:05.377
[Purrs]

956
00:58:08.149 --> 00:58:10.663
For you, baby... I could be.

957
00:58:10.861 --> 00:58:13.056
- Yeah, you wish.
- Donkey, where is Shrek?

958
00:58:13.238 --> 00:58:15.468
He went inside looking for you.

959
00:58:17.450 --> 00:58:19.202
Shrek?

960
00:58:19.368 --> 00:58:21.882
Fiona! Fiona!

961
00:58:23.914 --> 00:58:25.984
You want to dance, pretty boy?

962
00:58:28.877 --> 00:58:32.426
Are you going so soon?
Don't you want to see your wife?

963
00:58:33.966 --> 00:58:34.876
Fiona?

964
00:58:37.428 --> 00:58:38.543
Shrek?

965
00:58:38.679 --> 00:58:41.352
Aye, Fiona. It is me.

966
00:58:41.557 --> 00:58:43.195
What happened to your voice?

967
00:58:43.350 --> 00:58:47.309
The potion changed
a lot of things, Fiona.

968
00:58:47.562 --> 00:58:50.030
But not the way I feel about you.

969
00:58:50.231 --> 00:58:51.664
Fiona?

970
00:58:52.610 --> 00:58:55.363
- Charming?
- Do you think so?

971
00:58:55.571 --> 00:58:59.200
[Laughs] Dad. I was so hoping
you'd approve.

972
00:58:59.449 --> 00:59:02.919
- Um... Who are you?
- Mom, it's me, Shrek.

973
00:59:03.161 --> 00:59:06.471
I know you never get a second chance
at a first impression,

974
00:59:06.748 --> 00:59:09.057
but, well, what do you think?

975
00:59:13.420 --> 00:59:16.014
[Shrek in distance] Fiona! Fiona!

976
00:59:17.800 --> 00:59:19.358
Fiona!

977
00:59:19.510 --> 00:59:23.298
- Fiona!
- Fiona, Fiona! Ho-ho-ho!

978
00:59:23.556 --> 00:59:26.992
Oh, shoot! I don't think
they can hear us, pigeon.

979
00:59:27.226 --> 00:59:28.659
[Sighs deeply]

980
00:59:29.728 --> 00:59:32.959
Don't you think you've already
messed her life up enough?

981
00:59:33.982 --> 00:59:35.938
I just wanted her to be happy.

982
00:59:36.110 --> 00:59:38.340
And now she can be.

983
00:59:38.529 --> 00:59:40.440
Oh, sweetheart.

984
00:59:40.614 --> 00:59:44.289
She's finally found
the prince of her dreams.

985
00:59:44.535 --> 00:59:48.448
But look at me.
Look what I've done for her.

986
00:59:48.705 --> 00:59:51.822
It's time you stop living
in a fairy tale, Shrek.

987
00:59:52.041 --> 00:59:56.034
She's a princess,
and you're an ogre.

988
00:59:56.296 --> 01:00:00.175
That's something no amount
of potion will ever change.

989
01:00:07.682 --> 01:00:09.479
But...

990
01:00:09.642 --> 01:00:11.075
I love her.

991
01:00:11.227 --> 01:00:13.946
If you really love her...

992
01:00:14.146 --> 01:00:16.102
you'll let her go.

993
01:00:17.233 --> 01:00:19.269
<i>[Nick Cave: People Ain't No Good]</i>

994
01:00:21.112 --> 01:00:22.067
Shrek?

995
01:00:22.196 --> 01:00:23.231
Señor.

996
01:00:23.364 --> 01:00:26.242
What's going on?
Where are you going?

997
01:00:32.623 --> 01:00:36.821
You wouldn't have had anything to do
with this, would you, Harold?

998
01:00:42.216 --> 01:00:45.174
<i>People just ain't no good</i>

999
01:00:48.096 --> 01:00:51.293
<i>I think that's well understood</i>

1000
01:00:51.516 --> 01:00:53.108
There you go, boys.

1001
01:00:53.268 --> 01:00:55.145
Just leave the bottle, Doris.

1002
01:00:55.311 --> 01:00:57.620
Hey. Why the long face?

1003
01:00:58.689 --> 01:01:01.203
It was all just a stupid mistake.

1004
01:01:02.235 --> 01:01:05.910
I never should have rescued her
from that tower in the first place.

1005
01:01:08.283 --> 01:01:10.114
I hate Mondays.

1006
01:01:10.285 --> 01:01:13.755
I can't believe you'd walk away from
the best thing that happened to you.

1007
01:01:13.996 --> 01:01:15.509
What choice do I have?

1008
01:01:15.664 --> 01:01:18.974
She loves that pretty boy,
Prince Charming.

1009
01:01:19.209 --> 01:01:21.200
Come on. Is he really
that good-looking?

1010
01:01:21.379 --> 01:01:23.734
Are you kidding?
He's gorgeous!

1011
01:01:23.923 --> 01:01:26.995
He has a face that looks like
it was carved by angels.

1012
01:01:27.218 --> 01:01:29.686
- Oh. He sounds dreamy.
- You know...

1013
01:01:29.887 --> 01:01:33.084
shockingly, this isn't
making me feel any better.

1014
01:01:36.018 --> 01:01:39.806
Look, guys.
It's for the best.

1015
01:01:40.063 --> 01:01:41.416
Mom and Dad approve,

1016
01:01:41.565 --> 01:01:44.762
and Fiona gets the man
she's always dreamed of.

1017
01:01:44.985 --> 01:01:46.782
Everybody wins.

1018
01:01:47.863 --> 01:01:49.091
Except for you.

1019
01:01:49.239 --> 01:01:52.390
I don't get it, Shrek.
You love Fiona.

1020
01:01:52.617 --> 01:01:53.891
Aye.

1021
01:01:54.953 --> 01:01:57.421
And that's why
I have to let her go.

1022
01:01:58.331 --> 01:02:01.289
Excuse me, is she here?

1023
01:02:01.501 --> 01:02:03.537
She's, uh... in the back.

1024
01:02:04.921 --> 01:02:06.639
Oh, hello again.

1025
01:02:10.969 --> 01:02:13.005
Fairy Godmother. Charming.

1026
01:02:13.179 --> 01:02:17.297
You'd better have a good reason
for dragging us down here, Harold.

1027
01:02:17.558 --> 01:02:23.110
Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really...
warming up to Prince Charming.

1028
01:02:23.439 --> 01:02:26.795
- FYI, not my fault.
- No, of course it's not, dear.

1029
01:02:27.068 --> 01:02:28.786
I mean,
how charming can I be

1030
01:02:28.945 --> 01:02:31.254
when I have to pretend
I'm that dreadful ogre?

1031
01:02:31.447 --> 01:02:33.403
No, no, it's nobody's fault.

1032
01:02:33.574 --> 01:02:36.725
Perhaps it's best if we just
call the whole thing off, okay?

1033
01:02:36.952 --> 01:02:41.150
- [Both] What?
- You can't force someone to fall in love!

1034
01:02:41.414 --> 01:02:44.451
I beg to differ.
I do it all the time!

1035
01:02:44.668 --> 01:02:48.946
Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love
with the first man she kisses,

1036
01:02:49.214 --> 01:02:51.091
which will be Charming.

1037
01:02:52.259 --> 01:02:55.137
- Umm... no.
- What did you say?

1038
01:02:55.345 --> 01:02:57.620
I can't. I won't do it.

1039
01:02:57.806 --> 01:02:59.319
Oh, yes, you will.

1040
01:02:59.474 --> 01:03:02.910
If you remember, I helped you
with your happily ever after.

1041
01:03:03.144 --> 01:03:06.534
And I can take it away
just as easily.

1042
01:03:06.773 --> 01:03:09.845
Is that what you want? Is it?

1043
01:03:10.944 --> 01:03:13.378
- No.
- Good boy.

1044
01:03:13.571 --> 01:03:15.209
Now, we have to go.

1045
01:03:15.365 --> 01:03:17.515
I need to do Charming's hair
before the ball.

1046
01:03:17.700 --> 01:03:19.816
He's hopeless.
He's all high in the front.

1047
01:03:19.994 --> 01:03:22.713
He can never get to the back.
You need someone to do the back.

1048
01:03:22.913 --> 01:03:24.471
Oh. Thank you, Mother.

1049
01:03:24.623 --> 01:03:26.375
[Donkey] Mother?

1050
01:03:26.543 --> 01:03:29.580
Um... Mary! A talking horse!

1051
01:03:29.796 --> 01:03:30.831
The ogre!

1052
01:03:32.673 --> 01:03:36.507
Stop them! Thieves! Bandits!
Stop them!

1053
01:03:38.303 --> 01:03:41.181
<i>[Announcer] The abs are fab
and it's gluteus to the maximus</i>

1054
01:03:41.390 --> 01:03:44.621
<i>here at tonight's Far, Far Away
Royal Ball blowout!</i>

1055
01:03:44.851 --> 01:03:47.763
<i>The coaches are lined up
as the cream of the crop pours out of them</i>

1056
01:03:47.980 --> 01:03:49.698
<i>like Miss Muffet's curds and whey.</i>

1057
01:03:49.857 --> 01:03:51.734
Everyone who's anyone
has turned out

1058
01:03:51.900 --> 01:03:54.289
to honour Princess Fiona
and Prince Shrek.

1059
01:03:54.486 --> 01:03:57.398
And, oh my,
the outfits look gorgeous!

1060
01:03:57.614 --> 01:03:58.888
Look! Hansel and Gretel!

1061
01:03:59.866 --> 01:04:01.538
What the heck are the crumbs for?

1062
01:04:01.701 --> 01:04:04.613
And right behind them,
Tom Thumb and Thumbelina!

1063
01:04:04.829 --> 01:04:07.389
- Oh, aren't they adorable!
- [Screaming]

1064
01:04:07.581 --> 01:04:10.573
[Woman] Here comes Sleeping Beauty!

1065
01:04:10.794 --> 01:04:12.625
Tired old thing.

1066
01:04:13.505 --> 01:04:16.224
Who's this? Who's this?
Who is this?

1067
01:04:16.424 --> 01:04:19.461
Oh. It's the one, it's the only...

1068
01:04:19.677 --> 01:04:22.145
It's the Fairy Godmother!

1069
01:04:22.346 --> 01:04:25.463
Hello, Far, Far Away!

1070
01:04:26.809 --> 01:04:28.845
Can I get a whoop whoop?

1071
01:04:30.229 --> 01:04:33.505
May all your endings be happy and...

1072
01:04:33.733 --> 01:04:36.645
Well, you know the rest!

1073
01:04:36.861 --> 01:04:39.739
<i>We'll be right back with the Royal
Far, Far Away Ball</i>

1074
01:04:39.947 --> 01:04:41.778
<i>after these messages.</i>

1075
01:04:41.949 --> 01:04:43.541
I hate these ball shows.

1076
01:04:43.700 --> 01:04:46.658
They bore me to tears.
Flip over to Wheel Of Torture!

1077
01:04:46.870 --> 01:04:50.306
I'm not flipping anywhere, sir,
until I see Shrek and Fiona.

1078
01:04:50.541 --> 01:04:53.135
Whizzes on you guys.

1079
01:04:53.335 --> 01:04:55.326
Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing!

1080
01:04:55.504 --> 01:04:57.654
No, to your left. Your left!

1081
01:05:00.800 --> 01:05:03.837
<i>- Tonight on "Knights"...
- Now here's a good show!</i>

1082
01:05:04.053 --> 01:05:07.329
<i>We got a white bronco heading east
into the forest. Requesting backup.</i>

1083
01:05:07.557 --> 01:05:09.548
<i>It's time to teach these madcap mammals</i>

1084
01:05:09.725 --> 01:05:12.364
<i>their "devil may mare" attitudes
just won't fly.</i>

1085
01:05:13.897 --> 01:05:17.446
Why you grabbing me?
Police brutality!

1086
01:05:18.776 --> 01:05:20.732
I have to talk to Princess Fiona!

1087
01:05:20.903 --> 01:05:22.859
- We warned you!
- Ow! Ow!

1088
01:05:23.030 --> 01:05:25.385
<i>Did someone let the cat out of the bag?</i>

1089
01:05:25.574 --> 01:05:27.451
You capitalist pig dogs!

1090
01:05:27.618 --> 01:05:28.892
[Shrieks]

1091
01:05:33.082 --> 01:05:34.674
- Catnip!
- That's not mine.

1092
01:05:35.835 --> 01:05:37.826
Find Princess Fiona!

1093
01:05:38.003 --> 01:05:39.595
I'm a donkey!

1094
01:05:39.755 --> 01:05:42.315
Tell her Shrek...
I'm her husband, Shrek!

1095
01:05:43.592 --> 01:05:44.991
Quick! Rewind it!

1096
01:05:46.094 --> 01:05:48.449
I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow!

1097
01:06:13.829 --> 01:06:14.784
[Knock on door]

1098
01:06:16.416 --> 01:06:17.405
Darling?

1099
01:06:18.460 --> 01:06:20.337
Ah. I thought I might
find you here.

1100
01:06:20.503 --> 01:06:23.973
How about a nice hot cup
of tea before the ball?

1101
01:06:25.341 --> 01:06:26.615
I'm not going.

1102
01:06:26.759 --> 01:06:29.671
The whole Kingdom's turned out
to celebrate your marriage.

1103
01:06:29.887 --> 01:06:33.675
There's just one problem.
That's not my husband.

1104
01:06:34.975 --> 01:06:36.613
I mean, look at him.

1105
01:06:38.979 --> 01:06:40.412
Yes, he is a bit different,

1106
01:06:40.564 --> 01:06:43.476
but people change
for the ones they love.

1107
01:06:43.692 --> 01:06:46.764
You'd be surprised how much
I changed for your mother.

1108
01:06:46.987 --> 01:06:48.659
Change?

1109
01:06:48.822 --> 01:06:50.938
He's completely lost his mind!

1110
01:06:51.116 --> 01:06:54.472
Why not come down to the ball
and give him another chance?

1111
01:06:54.702 --> 01:06:57.500
You might find you like
this new Shrek.

1112
01:06:57.706 --> 01:07:00.823
But it's the old one
I fell in love with, Dad.

1113
01:07:02.002 --> 01:07:04.038
I'd give anything to have him back.

1114
01:07:07.298 --> 01:07:10.256
Darling. That's mine. Decaf.

1115
01:07:10.468 --> 01:07:12.299
Otherwise I'm up all night.

1116
01:07:19.310 --> 01:07:20.868
Thanks.

1117
01:07:23.481 --> 01:07:24.834
I got to get out of here!

1118
01:07:24.982 --> 01:07:27.496
You can't lock us up like this!
Let me go!

1119
01:07:27.693 --> 01:07:29.126
What about my Miranda rights?

1120
01:07:29.278 --> 01:07:31.917
You're supposed to say
I have the right to remain silent.

1121
01:07:32.114 --> 01:07:34.230
Nobody said I have the right
to remain silent!

1122
01:07:34.408 --> 01:07:36.876
You have the right to remain silent.

1123
01:07:37.119 --> 01:07:39.553
What you lack is the capacity.

1124
01:07:39.747 --> 01:07:43.103
I must hold on before I, too,
go totally mad.

1125
01:07:43.334 --> 01:07:45.529
Shrek? Donkey?

1126
01:07:46.628 --> 01:07:48.027
Too late.

1127
01:07:48.213 --> 01:07:51.285
Gingy! Pinocchio!
Get us out of here!

1128
01:07:51.550 --> 01:07:52.699
Oh...

1129
01:07:52.842 --> 01:07:55.151
<i>[Theme from Mission Impossible]</i>

1130
01:07:57.013 --> 01:07:58.765
Fire in ze hole!

1131
01:07:58.931 --> 01:08:00.967
[Explosion, rumbling]

1132
01:08:17.700 --> 01:08:18.928
Look out below!

1133
01:08:21.454 --> 01:08:23.365
Quick! Tell a lie!

1134
01:08:23.540 --> 01:08:26.134
- What should I say?
- Anything, but quick!

1135
01:08:26.375 --> 01:08:29.208
Say something crazy like
"I'm wearing ladies' underwear!"

1136
01:08:29.420 --> 01:08:31.456
I am wearing ladies' underwear.

1137
01:08:35.384 --> 01:08:37.898
- Are you?
- I most certainly am not!

1138
01:08:38.970 --> 01:08:41.165
It looks like you
most certainly am are!

1139
01:08:41.349 --> 01:08:42.862
- I am not!
- What kind?

1140
01:08:43.017 --> 01:08:45.485
- It's a thong!
- Oww! They're briefs!

1141
01:08:45.769 --> 01:08:46.997
- Are not.
- Are too!

1142
01:08:47.146 --> 01:08:48.784
- Are not!
- Are too!

1143
01:08:48.939 --> 01:08:50.611
Here we go. Hang tight.

1144
01:08:54.152 --> 01:08:57.030
[Donkey] Wait, wait, wait!
Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey!

1145
01:08:57.781 --> 01:08:58.770
Ow!

1146
01:09:01.159 --> 01:09:03.389
- Excuse me?
- What? Puss!

1147
01:09:03.579 --> 01:09:05.615
Pardon me, would you
mind letting me go?

1148
01:09:05.789 --> 01:09:07.620
- Sorry, boss.
- Quit messing around!

1149
01:09:07.791 --> 01:09:09.543
We've got to stop that kiss!

1150
01:09:09.709 --> 01:09:11.461
I thought you was going
to let her go.

1151
01:09:11.628 --> 01:09:13.823
I was, but I can't let them
do this to Fiona.

1152
01:09:14.005 --> 01:09:17.077
Boom! That's what I like to hear.
Look who's coming around!

1153
01:09:17.300 --> 01:09:18.972
It's impossible!
We'll never get in.

1154
01:09:19.135 --> 01:09:22.047
The castle's guarded.
There's a moat and everything!

1155
01:09:22.262 --> 01:09:27.859
Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate
creek without a Popsicle stick.

1156
01:09:32.398 --> 01:09:36.027
- What?
- Do you still know the Muffin Man?

1157
01:09:36.276 --> 01:09:39.586
Well, sure!
He's down on Drury Lane. Why?

1158
01:09:39.821 --> 01:09:42.176
Because we're gonna need flour.

1159
01:09:42.365 --> 01:09:45.277
Lots and lots of flour.

1160
01:09:47.705 --> 01:09:50.060
Gingy!

1161
01:09:50.249 --> 01:09:54.481
Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man!
We've got a big order to fill!

1162
01:09:57.380 --> 01:09:58.529
[Evil chuckle]

1163
01:09:58.673 --> 01:10:00.550
[Gingy] It's alive!

1164
01:10:04.178 --> 01:10:05.577
[Rattling]

1165
01:10:05.722 --> 01:10:07.155
[Gasping]

1166
01:10:08.809 --> 01:10:12.518
[Whinnies] Run, run, run,
as fast you can!

1167
01:10:15.231 --> 01:10:16.903
[Screaming]

1168
01:10:19.860 --> 01:10:21.896
Go, baby, go!

1169
01:10:23.489 --> 01:10:26.322
There it is, Mongo!
To the castle!

1170
01:10:26.534 --> 01:10:30.732
[Shrek] No, you great stupid pastry!
Come on!

1171
01:10:30.997 --> 01:10:32.271
[All shout]

1172
01:10:38.712 --> 01:10:41.306
[Donkey] Mongo! Down here!
Look at the pony!

1173
01:10:43.008 --> 01:10:45.283
That's right! Follow the pretty pony!

1174
01:10:45.510 --> 01:10:47.865
Pretty pony wants to play
at the castle!

1175
01:10:48.055 --> 01:10:49.647
[Mongo] Pretty pony.

1176
01:10:51.392 --> 01:10:53.223
Ladies and gentlemen.

1177
01:10:53.393 --> 01:10:57.944
Presenting Princess Fiona
and her new husband, Prince Shrek.

1178
01:10:59.107 --> 01:11:00.460
[Applause, cheering]

1179
01:11:00.608 --> 01:11:02.644
Shrek, what are you doing?

1180
01:11:02.819 --> 01:11:05.936
I'm just playing the part, Fiona.

1181
01:11:06.155 --> 01:11:07.952
Is that glitter on your lips?

1182
01:11:08.115 --> 01:11:10.913
Mm. Cherry flavoured.
Want to taste?

1183
01:11:11.119 --> 01:11:14.794
- Ugh! What is with you?
- But, Muffin Cake...

1184
01:11:16.165 --> 01:11:17.723
[piano plays]

1185
01:11:17.875 --> 01:11:20.025
C Minor, put it in C Minor.

1186
01:11:21.212 --> 01:11:22.611
Ladies and gentlemen.

1187
01:11:23.714 --> 01:11:25.113
[Applause, cheering]

1188
01:11:25.257 --> 01:11:28.055
I'd like to dedicate this song to...

1189
01:11:28.260 --> 01:11:31.570
Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek.

1190
01:11:32.765 --> 01:11:34.403
Fiona, my Princess.

1191
01:11:34.559 --> 01:11:37.027
Will you honour me with a dance?

1192
01:11:37.686 --> 01:11:42.043
<i>Where have all the good men gone</i>

1193
01:11:42.316 --> 01:11:45.035
<i>And where are all the gods?</i>

1194
01:11:45.235 --> 01:11:46.304
[All chant] Dance!

1195
01:11:46.444 --> 01:11:50.039
<i>Where's the streetwise Hercules</i>

1196
01:11:50.323 --> 01:11:53.759
<i>To fight the rising odds?</i>

1197
01:11:57.164 --> 01:11:58.483
Since when do you dance?

1198
01:11:58.623 --> 01:12:01.376
Fiona, my dearest,
if there's one thing I know,

1199
01:12:01.584 --> 01:12:04.735
it's that love is full of surprises.

1200
01:12:04.963 --> 01:12:07.397
<i>Late at night I toss and I turn</i>

1201
01:12:07.590 --> 01:12:11.947
<i>And I dream of what I need</i>

1202
01:12:14.806 --> 01:12:16.319
Hit it!

1203
01:12:19.102 --> 01:12:20.660
<i>I need a hero</i>

1204
01:12:20.812 --> 01:12:24.725
All right, big fella!
Let's crash this party!

1205
01:12:26.317 --> 01:12:27.989
Man the catapults!

1206
01:12:28.652 --> 01:12:30.768
Aim! Fire!

1207
01:12:31.989 --> 01:12:35.026
- Brace yourselves!
- Ooh! Purty!

1208
01:12:37.578 --> 01:12:39.853
[Groaning]

1209
01:12:42.458 --> 01:12:44.653
Not the gumdrop button!

1210
01:12:47.504 --> 01:12:49.256
[Enraged howling]

1211
01:12:51.132 --> 01:12:53.885
Incoming!

1212
01:12:54.094 --> 01:12:55.573
Ha-ha! All right!

1213
01:12:58.599 --> 01:13:04.071
<i>Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy</i>

1214
01:13:04.396 --> 01:13:05.988
Go, Mongo! Go!

1215
01:13:09.692 --> 01:13:11.842
Man the cauldrons!

1216
01:13:16.741 --> 01:13:18.697
After you, Mongo.

1217
01:13:21.454 --> 01:13:25.572
- That's it! Heave-ho!
- Watch out!

1218
01:13:28.544 --> 01:13:29.772
Shrek!

1219
01:13:33.715 --> 01:13:35.433
More heat, less foam!

1220
01:13:35.592 --> 01:13:38.265
<i>Up where the mountains
Meet the heavens above</i>

1221
01:13:38.471 --> 01:13:41.304
<i>Out where the lightning
Splits the sea</i>

1222
01:13:41.515 --> 01:13:46.145
<i>I could swear there is someone
Somewhere watching me</i>

1223
01:13:46.436 --> 01:13:48.996
Heave! Ho!

1224
01:13:54.903 --> 01:13:57.576
[Gingy, slow-motion] No!

1225
01:13:57.781 --> 01:14:00.500
[Mongo groans]

1226
01:14:27.184 --> 01:14:28.617
[Whistles] Come on!

1227
01:14:28.769 --> 01:14:29.838
[Cheering]

1228
01:14:29.979 --> 01:14:31.048
Look out!

1229
01:14:31.188 --> 01:14:34.737
- Be good.
- [Weeping bitterly]

1230
01:14:36.235 --> 01:14:38.624
[Sobbing] He needs me!
Let me go!

1231
01:14:42.158 --> 01:14:43.716
Donkey!

1232
01:14:53.043 --> 01:14:54.442
Puss!

1233
01:14:57.547 --> 01:14:59.902
Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go!

1234
01:15:02.761 --> 01:15:05.150
Today, I repay my debt.

1235
01:15:10.727 --> 01:15:12.763
[All] Aww...

1236
01:15:13.521 --> 01:15:15.716
<i>[growling] En garde!</i>

1237
01:15:19.109 --> 01:15:22.021
<i>He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast</i>

1238
01:15:22.280 --> 01:15:25.636
<i>And he's gotta be fresh
From the fight</i>

1239
01:15:25.867 --> 01:15:28.620
<i>- I need a hero
- Stop!</i>

1240
01:15:29.662 --> 01:15:31.175
[Donkey whinnies]

1241
01:15:33.165 --> 01:15:37.681
- Hey, you! Back away from my wife.
- Shrek?

1242
01:15:38.754 --> 01:15:43.111
You couldn't just go back to your swamp
and leave well enough alone.

1243
01:15:43.384 --> 01:15:45.579
- Now!
- Pigs und blanket!

1244
01:15:48.430 --> 01:15:49.863
Pinocchio! Get the wand!

1245
01:15:50.015 --> 01:15:51.687
I see London! I see France!

1246
01:15:51.850 --> 01:15:53.124
Whah!

1247
01:15:55.437 --> 01:15:56.836
I'm a real boy!

1248
01:16:03.028 --> 01:16:04.859
Ah! Ah! Aaahhh!

1249
01:16:06.740 --> 01:16:07.695
Catch!

1250
01:16:08.992 --> 01:16:10.061
Donkey!

1251
01:16:12.829 --> 01:16:13.784
Oh!

1252
01:16:14.372 --> 01:16:15.805
I'm a real boy. Aah!

1253
01:16:15.957 --> 01:16:17.356
Oh!

1254
01:16:19.251 --> 01:16:20.604
- Ha!
- Ah.

1255
01:16:20.795 --> 01:16:22.433
That's mine!

1256
01:16:26.676 --> 01:16:28.155
Pray for mercy, from Puss...

1257
01:16:28.344 --> 01:16:29.857
And Donkey!

1258
01:16:30.012 --> 01:16:32.845
She's taken the potion!
Kiss her now!

1259
01:16:36.352 --> 01:16:37.307
No!

1260
01:16:54.953 --> 01:16:56.909
- Hi-ya!
- [Crowd gasp]

1261
01:16:59.082 --> 01:17:01.357
- Fiona.
- Shrek.

1262
01:17:01.543 --> 01:17:05.377
Harold! You were supposed
to give her the potion!

1263
01:17:05.630 --> 01:17:09.339
Well, I guess I gave her
the wrong tea.

1264
01:17:09.634 --> 01:17:11.864
- [Charming] Mommy!
- Mommy?

1265
01:17:12.595 --> 01:17:15.234
[Growls] I told you.

1266
01:17:15.431 --> 01:17:19.424
Ogres don't live happily ever after.

1267
01:17:23.314 --> 01:17:25.270
[Screams]

1268
01:17:29.279 --> 01:17:30.997
Woo!

1269
01:17:31.155 --> 01:17:32.304
Ha!

1270
01:17:39.246 --> 01:17:40.964
[Breathes deeply]

1271
01:17:43.166 --> 01:17:45.077
[Gasping] Oh, Dad!

1272
01:17:45.252 --> 01:17:47.447
[Sobbing]

1273
01:17:49.131 --> 01:17:50.928
- Is he?
- Yup.

1274
01:17:51.091 --> 01:17:52.285
[Croaking]

1275
01:17:52.426 --> 01:17:54.098
He croaked.

1276
01:17:56.388 --> 01:17:57.537
Harold?

1277
01:17:57.681 --> 01:17:59.433
Dad?

1278
01:17:59.599 --> 01:18:01.908
I'd hoped you'd never
see me like this.

1279
01:18:02.102 --> 01:18:04.218
- And he gave you a hard time!
- Donkey!

1280
01:18:04.395 --> 01:18:06.545
No, no, he's right.
I'm sorry.

1281
01:18:07.565 --> 01:18:08.600
To both of you.

1282
01:18:08.733 --> 01:18:11.566
I only wanted what
was best for Fiona.

1283
01:18:12.696 --> 01:18:14.846
But I can see now...

1284
01:18:15.031 --> 01:18:16.623
she already has it.

1285
01:18:17.742 --> 01:18:19.778
Shrek, Fiona...

1286
01:18:19.952 --> 01:18:24.582
Will you accept
an old frog's apologies...

1287
01:18:24.874 --> 01:18:27.593
and my blessing?

1288
01:18:27.793 --> 01:18:29.943
Harold?
I'm sorry, Lillian.

1289
01:18:30.129 --> 01:18:33.519
I just wish I could be
the man you deserve.

1290
01:18:34.926 --> 01:18:37.963
You're more that man today
than you ever were...

1291
01:18:38.179 --> 01:18:40.056
warts and all.

1292
01:18:40.222 --> 01:18:42.099
[Ribbits]

1293
01:18:42.266 --> 01:18:43.984
[Clock chimes]

1294
01:18:44.142 --> 01:18:46.337
Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion!

1295
01:18:46.520 --> 01:18:47.589
Midnight!

1296
01:18:48.396 --> 01:18:51.194
Fiona. Is this what you want?

1297
01:18:52.359 --> 01:18:54.315
To be this way forever?

1298
01:18:54.486 --> 01:18:58.001
- What?
- Because if you kiss me now...

1299
01:18:58.240 --> 01:18:59.912
we can stay like this.

1300
01:19:00.951 --> 01:19:02.862
You'd do that?

1301
01:19:03.036 --> 01:19:04.913
- For me?
- Yes.

1302
01:19:13.839 --> 01:19:16.512
I want what any princess wants.

1303
01:19:16.716 --> 01:19:19.355
To live happily ever after...

1304
01:19:23.514 --> 01:19:26.108
with the ogre I married.

1305
01:19:29.311 --> 01:19:32.144
Whatever happens,
I must not cry!

1306
01:19:32.356 --> 01:19:34.347
You cannot make me cry!

1307
01:19:34.525 --> 01:19:35.924
[Sobbing]

1308
01:19:36.068 --> 01:19:37.786
[Clock chimes]

1309
01:19:56.588 --> 01:19:57.862
Whoa!

1310
01:19:59.550 --> 01:20:02.747
No. No, no.
Aaah! Ow.

1311
01:20:06.139 --> 01:20:07.777
Oh, no.

1312
01:20:22.071 --> 01:20:23.743
[Sighs]

1313
01:20:23.906 --> 01:20:28.536
[Laughs] Hey. You still look like
a noble steed to me.

1314
01:20:32.164 --> 01:20:35.440
[Giggles] Now, where were we?

1315
01:20:35.667 --> 01:20:37.862
Oh. I remember.

1316
01:20:38.045 --> 01:20:40.434
[Giggling]

1317
01:20:40.631 --> 01:20:42.508
[Applause]

1318
01:20:45.052 --> 01:20:48.965
Hey! Isn't we supposed
to be having a fiesta?

1319
01:20:49.222 --> 01:20:50.780
<i>Uno, dos, cuatro, hit it!</i>

1320
01:20:54.769 --> 01:20:57.886
<i>[Eddie Murphy/Antonio Banderas:
Livin' La Vida Loca]</i>

1321
01:20:58.107 --> 01:20:59.506
Puss and Donkey, y'all...

1322
01:20:59.650 --> 01:21:02.289
<i>She's into superstitions</i>

1323
01:21:02.486 --> 01:21:04.954
<i>Black cats and voodoo dolls</i>

1324
01:21:05.155 --> 01:21:07.715
<i>- Sing it, Puss!
- I feel a premonition</i>

1325
01:21:07.907 --> 01:21:10.262
<i>That girl's gonna make me fall</i>

1326
01:21:11.953 --> 01:21:12.908
Here we go!

1327
01:21:13.037 --> 01:21:15.710
<i>She's into new sensations</i>

1328
01:21:15.915 --> 01:21:18.224
<i>New kicks in the candlelight</i>

1329
01:21:18.418 --> 01:21:20.978
<i>She's got a new addiction</i>

1330
01:21:21.171 --> 01:21:23.480
<i>For every day and night</i>

1331
01:21:23.673 --> 01:21:25.823
<i>She'll make you take your clothes off</i>

1332
01:21:26.008 --> 01:21:29.045
<i>And go dancing in the rain</i>

1333
01:21:29.261 --> 01:21:31.172
<i>She'll make you live her crazy life</i>

1334
01:21:31.347 --> 01:21:33.736
<i>But she'll take away your pain</i>

1335
01:21:33.932 --> 01:21:37.288
<i>Like a bullet to your brain</i>

1336
01:21:37.519 --> 01:21:39.874
<i>Upside inside out</i>

1337
01:21:40.064 --> 01:21:42.259
<i>Living la vida loca</i>

1338
01:21:44.110 --> 01:21:45.384
Hey gorgeous!

1339
01:21:45.528 --> 01:21:47.996
<i>Living la vida loca</i>

1340
01:21:48.197 --> 01:21:50.427
<i>Her lips are devil red</i>

1341
01:21:50.616 --> 01:21:52.846
<i>And her skin's the colour of mocha</i>

1342
01:21:53.034 --> 01:21:55.832
<i>She will wear you out</i>

1343
01:21:56.037 --> 01:21:58.631
<i>- Living la vida loca
- [Donkey] She livin' it loca!</i>

1344
01:21:58.831 --> 01:22:00.264
<i>Living la vida loca</i>

1345
01:22:00.417 --> 01:22:03.932
<i>- [Donkey] Say it one more time now!
- Living the vida loca</i>

1346
01:22:04.171 --> 01:22:07.607
[Puss In Boots jamming]

1347
01:22:09.426 --> 01:22:13.135
[Puss In Boots]
Hey, Donkey, that's Spanish!

1348
01:22:13.388 --> 01:22:14.821
<i>She'll push and pull you down</i>

1349
01:22:14.972 --> 01:22:17.486
<i>Living la vida loca</i>

1350
01:22:17.683 --> 01:22:20.197
<i>She will wear you out</i>

1351
01:22:20.394 --> 01:22:22.828
<i>Living la vida loca</i>

1352
01:22:23.023 --> 01:22:26.095
<i>Living la vida loca</i>

1353
01:22:26.317 --> 01:22:28.467
<i>She'll push and pull you down</i>

1354
01:22:28.653 --> 01:22:31.008
<i>Living the vida loca</i>

1355
01:22:31.197 --> 01:22:33.586
<i>Her lips are devil red</i>

1356
01:22:33.782 --> 01:22:36.091
<i>And her skin's the colour of mocha</i>

1357
01:22:36.285 --> 01:22:39.721
<i>She will wear you out</i>

1358
01:22:39.955 --> 01:22:41.513
<i>Living la vida loca</i>

1359
01:22:41.665 --> 01:22:44.259
<i>Living la vida loca</i>

1360
01:22:44.460 --> 01:22:46.849
<i>Living la vida loca</i>

1361
01:22:47.046 --> 01:22:49.844
<i>Living la vida loca</i>

1362
01:24:06.623 --> 01:24:07.663
<i>All by myself</i>

1363
01:24:07.708 --> 01:24:09.858
<i>All by myself</i>

1364
01:24:10.043 --> 01:24:11.396
<i>Don't wanna be</i>

1365
01:24:11.545 --> 01:24:15.982
<i>All by myself anymore...</i>

1366
01:24:16.257 --> 01:24:18.691
Amigo, we are off
to the Kit-Kat Club.

1367
01:24:18.885 --> 01:24:20.159
Come on, join us.

1368
01:24:20.303 --> 01:24:24.216
Thanks, compadre.
I'm... I'm not in the mood.

1369
01:24:24.473 --> 01:24:27.704
<i>We will cheer you up!
Find you a nice burro!</i>

1370
01:24:27.936 --> 01:24:29.369
[Shrieking]

1371
01:24:29.521 --> 01:24:30.510
Hey, baby!

1372
01:24:32.732 --> 01:24:36.884
Hey, that's my girl!
Yeah! All right!

1373
01:24:37.153 --> 01:24:38.268
Baby, where you been?

1374
01:24:38.404 --> 01:24:40.599
- [Cries]
- I'm sorry, too.

1375
01:24:40.781 --> 01:24:43.420
I should've stayed.
But Shrek had this thing he had to do.

1376
01:24:43.617 --> 01:24:45.096
What? Say it one more time.

1377
01:24:45.243 --> 01:24:47.711
What you talking about?
Are you serious?

1378
01:24:47.913 --> 01:24:50.222
- [Cooing]
- [Gasping]

1379
01:24:50.416 --> 01:24:52.168
- Papa!
- [Screaming]

1380
01:24:53.711 --> 01:24:55.667
- [Cooing, squealing]
- [Chuckling]

1381
01:24:58.882 --> 01:25:01.157
Look at our little mutant babies!