WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:55.220 --> 00:00:56.915 Onward, Ohauncey! 2 00:00:57.055 --> 00:00:59.649 To the highest room of the tallest tower... 3 00:00:59.791 --> 00:01:04.888 ...where my princess awaits rescue from her handsome Prince Oharming! 4 00:01:16.241 --> 00:01:20.007 This is worse than " Love Letters" . I hate dinner theater! 5 00:01:20.145 --> 00:01:21.908 Me, too. 6 00:01:23.248 --> 00:01:25.239 Whoa there, Ohauncey! 7 00:01:26.651 --> 00:01:30.109 Hark! The brave Prince Oharming approacheth. 8 00:01:30.255 --> 00:01:34.624 Fear not, fair maiden. I shall slay the monster that guards you... 9 00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:37.695 ...then take my place as rightful king. 10 00:01:37.829 --> 00:01:39.421 What did she say? 11 00:01:43.201 --> 00:01:44.600 It's Shrek! 12 00:01:44.870 --> 00:01:46.531 Whoo, Shrek, yeah! 13 00:01:48.774 --> 00:01:50.867 Prepare, foul beast... 14 00:01:51.009 --> 00:01:55.673 ...to enter into a world of pain with which you are not familiar! 15 00:01:55.814 --> 00:01:58.374 Happy birthday to thee Happy birthday to thee 16 00:01:58.517 --> 00:01:59.779 Do you mind? 17 00:02:00.118 --> 00:02:03.281 Do you mind? Boring! 18 00:02:07.793 --> 00:02:10.125 Prepare, foul beast... 19 00:02:19.137 --> 00:02:21.833 Someday you'll be sorry. 20 00:02:21.973 --> 00:02:24.134 We already are! 21 00:02:49.267 --> 00:02:50.564 Mommy... 22 00:02:54.506 --> 00:02:57.998 You're right. I can't let this happen. 23 00:02:58.844 --> 00:03:00.175 I can't ! 24 00:03:01.346 --> 00:03:05.112 I am the rightful King of Far Far Away. 25 00:03:05.250 --> 00:03:07.343 And I promise you this, Mother... 26 00:03:07.686 --> 00:03:10.416 ...I will restore dignity to my throne. 27 00:03:15.026 --> 00:03:16.118 And this time, 28 00:03:16.261 --> 00:03:20.425 no one will stand in my way. 29 00:03:37.382 --> 00:03:39.043 Good morning. 30 00:03:40.051 --> 00:03:41.712 Good morning. 31 00:03:43.388 --> 00:03:44.412 Morning breath. 32 00:03:44.556 --> 00:03:47.719 I know. Isn't it wonderful? 33 00:03:48.393 --> 00:03:50.224 Good morning, good morning 34 00:03:50.896 --> 00:03:53.296 The sun is shining through 35 00:03:53.431 --> 00:03:55.626 Good morning, good morning To you 36 00:03:55.767 --> 00:03:57.894 And you! And you! 37 00:04:01.806 --> 00:04:03.501 They grow up so fast. 38 00:04:03.642 --> 00:04:05.735 Not fast enough. 39 00:04:07.812 --> 00:04:10.508 You'll be filling in for the King and Queen. 40 00:04:10.649 --> 00:04:13.846 Several functions require your attendance, sir. 41 00:04:13.985 --> 00:04:17.284 Great! Let's get started. 42 00:04:17.422 --> 00:04:20.255 Oome on, lazybones. Time to get moving! 43 00:04:21.092 --> 00:04:23.356 You need to get a pair ofjammies. 44 00:04:30.802 --> 00:04:34.033 I got some sleep and I needed it 45 00:04:34.172 --> 00:04:36.902 Not a lot, just a little bit 46 00:04:37.042 --> 00:04:40.136 Someone's always trying to keep me from it 47 00:04:40.278 --> 00:04:43.111 It's a crying shame 48 00:04:43.782 --> 00:04:46.148 It's a royal pain in the neck 49 00:04:46.284 --> 00:04:47.945 I knight thee. 50 00:05:09.808 --> 00:05:12.936 If you're filling in for a king, you should look like one. 51 00:05:13.078 --> 00:05:16.138 Oan somebody come in and work on Shrek? 52 00:05:17.983 --> 00:05:19.473 I will see what I can do. 53 00:05:40.672 --> 00:05:42.333 Yeah, wow. 54 00:05:43.174 --> 00:05:45.665 Is this really necessary? 55 00:05:46.444 --> 00:05:48.105 Quite necessary, Fiona. 56 00:05:48.246 --> 00:05:51.044 - I'm Shrek, you twit. - Whatever. 57 00:05:51.182 --> 00:05:54.879 This isn't a rehearsal, peoples. Let's see some hustle! 58 00:05:55.020 --> 00:05:56.954 Smiles, everyone! Smiles! 59 00:05:57.088 --> 00:06:00.546 I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. 60 00:06:00.692 --> 00:06:03.627 I'm sorry, but can you just try to grin and bear it? 61 00:06:03.762 --> 00:06:05.787 It's just until Dad gets better. 62 00:06:07.866 --> 00:06:09.197 Shrek? 63 00:06:10.535 --> 00:06:12.127 You look handsome. 64 00:06:12.270 --> 00:06:14.204 Oome here, you. 65 00:06:28.553 --> 00:06:33.217 My butt is itching up a storm and I can't reach it in this monkey suit. 66 00:06:34.059 --> 00:06:36.994 Hey, you! Oome here. What's your name? 67 00:06:37.128 --> 00:06:39.494 Fiddlesworth, sir. 68 00:06:39.631 --> 00:06:40.723 Perfect. 69 00:06:43.401 --> 00:06:45.767 Ladies and gentlemen... 70 00:06:45.904 --> 00:06:49.067 ...Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek! 71 00:06:53.411 --> 00:06:55.174 Ahh! You've got it. 72 00:06:55.313 --> 00:06:56.837 A little to the left. 73 00:06:58.083 --> 00:07:00.278 That's it! That's good. 74 00:07:00.418 --> 00:07:03.512 Oh, yeah! Scratch that thing! You're on it. 75 00:07:03.655 --> 00:07:05.088 Shrek! 76 00:07:09.994 --> 00:07:11.120 My eye! 77 00:07:11.262 --> 00:07:12.422 What are you doing? 78 00:07:19.003 --> 00:07:19.992 Fiona! 79 00:07:23.108 --> 00:07:26.339 - Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm fine. 80 00:07:29.948 --> 00:07:32.280 Shrimp! My favorite! 81 00:07:42.794 --> 00:07:45.490 - That's it! We're leaving! - Oalm down. 82 00:07:45.630 --> 00:07:50.567 Oalm down? Who do you think we're kidding? I am an ogre. 83 00:07:50.702 --> 00:07:54.297 I'm not cut out for this, Fiona, and I never will be. 84 00:07:58.376 --> 00:07:59.741 I think that went well. 85 00:07:59.878 --> 00:08:01.106 Donkey! 86 00:08:01.246 --> 00:08:02.975 Oome on, Shrek! 87 00:08:03.481 --> 00:08:06.712 Some people just don't understand boundaries. 88 00:08:15.994 --> 00:08:20.590 Just think. A couple more days and we'll be back home... 89 00:08:20.732 --> 00:08:24.031 ...in our vermin-filled shack strewn with fungus... 90 00:08:24.169 --> 00:08:27.070 ...and filled with the stench of mud and neglect. 91 00:08:27.205 --> 00:08:29.833 You had me at "vermin-filled" . 92 00:08:30.675 --> 00:08:35.510 And, um... maybe even the pitter-patter of little feet on the floor. 93 00:08:36.014 --> 00:08:38.710 That's right, the swamp rats will be spawning. 94 00:08:38.850 --> 00:08:40.215 Uh, no. 95 00:08:40.351 --> 00:08:44.048 What I'm thinking of is a little bigger than a swamp rat. 96 00:08:44.189 --> 00:08:45.213 Donkey? 97 00:08:45.356 --> 00:08:49.019 No, Shrek. What if, theoretically... 98 00:08:50.295 --> 00:08:52.422 ...they were little ogre feet? 99 00:08:58.870 --> 00:09:02.237 Honey, let's be rational about this. 100 00:09:02.373 --> 00:09:04.739 Have you seen a baby lately? 101 00:09:04.876 --> 00:09:08.073 They just eat and poop, and they cry... 102 00:09:08.213 --> 00:09:11.580 ...then they cry when they poop and poop when they cry. 103 00:09:11.716 --> 00:09:14.514 Now, imagine an ogre baby. 104 00:09:14.652 --> 00:09:18.452 They extra-cry and they extra-poop. 105 00:09:18.590 --> 00:09:22.185 Shrek, don't you ever think about having a family? 106 00:09:22.327 --> 00:09:25.888 Right now, you're my family. 107 00:09:29.901 --> 00:09:32.062 Somebody better be dying. 108 00:09:34.005 --> 00:09:36.235 I'm dying. 109 00:09:38.576 --> 00:09:39.736 Harold? 110 00:09:41.913 --> 00:09:45.007 Don't forget to pay the gardener, Lillian. 111 00:09:45.149 --> 00:09:47.083 Of course, darling. 112 00:09:48.820 --> 00:09:49.878 Fiona. 113 00:09:50.021 --> 00:09:51.545 Yes, Daddy? 114 00:09:51.689 --> 00:09:54.419 I know I made many mistakes with you. 115 00:09:55.426 --> 00:09:56.893 It's okay. 116 00:09:57.028 --> 00:09:59.155 But your love for Shrek has... 117 00:10:00.098 --> 00:10:01.497 ...taught me much. 118 00:10:03.635 --> 00:10:05.626 My dear boy... 119 00:10:05.770 --> 00:10:09.035 ...I am proud to call you my son. 120 00:10:09.173 --> 00:10:12.301 And I'm proud to call you my frog... 121 00:10:12.443 --> 00:10:14.877 ...King dad-in-law. 122 00:10:15.013 --> 00:10:20.610 Now there is a matter of business to attend to. 123 00:10:30.962 --> 00:10:33.954 The Frog King... is dead. 124 00:10:42.140 --> 00:10:44.108 Put your hat back on, fool. 125 00:10:44.242 --> 00:10:45.834 Shrek... 126 00:10:45.977 --> 00:10:47.638 ...please come hither. 127 00:10:51.482 --> 00:10:52.847 Yeah, Dad? 128 00:10:52.984 --> 00:10:56.147 This kingdom needs a new king. 129 00:10:57.488 --> 00:11:02.152 You and Fiona are next in line for the throne. 130 00:11:03.828 --> 00:11:08.026 Next in line. You see, Dad, that's why people love you. 131 00:11:08.166 --> 00:11:11.499 Even on your deathbed, you're still making jokes. 132 00:11:15.173 --> 00:11:18.870 Oome on, Dad. An ogre as king? 133 00:11:19.010 --> 00:11:21.535 That's not such a good idea. 134 00:11:21.679 --> 00:11:24.978 There must be somebody else. Anybody! 135 00:11:25.116 --> 00:11:30.315 Aside from you, there is only one remaining heir. 136 00:11:30.455 --> 00:11:33.652 Really? Who is he, Dad? 137 00:11:33.791 --> 00:11:35.850 His name is... 138 00:11:37.228 --> 00:11:38.286 ...is... 139 00:11:38.429 --> 00:11:40.056 What's his name? 140 00:11:40.198 --> 00:11:41.790 ...is... 141 00:11:43.701 --> 00:11:44.793 Daddy! 142 00:12:02.053 --> 00:12:04.021 His name is Arthur. 143 00:12:04.155 --> 00:12:05.554 Arthur? 144 00:12:09.894 --> 00:12:13.091 I know you'll do... 145 00:12:13.231 --> 00:12:15.893 ...what's right. 146 00:12:18.936 --> 00:12:20.267 Harold? 147 00:12:20.405 --> 00:12:21.963 Dad? Dad! 148 00:12:23.408 --> 00:12:24.636 Dad? 149 00:12:25.243 --> 00:12:26.835 Do your thing, man. 150 00:12:56.774 --> 00:13:00.642 When you were young and your heart 151 00:13:00.778 --> 00:13:02.939 Was an open book 152 00:13:04.949 --> 00:13:09.079 y ou used to say live and let live 153 00:13:09.220 --> 00:13:12.553 y ou know you did, you know you did y ou know you did 154 00:13:13.357 --> 00:13:18.420 But if this ever changing world In which we live in 155 00:13:19.297 --> 00:13:23.461 Makes you give in and cry 156 00:13:25.970 --> 00:13:28.131 Say live and let die 157 00:13:31.576 --> 00:13:33.237 Live and let die 158 00:14:09.747 --> 00:14:13.513 Hey, lady y ou, lady 159 00:14:14.519 --> 00:14:16.680 Cursing at your life 160 00:14:17.355 --> 00:14:20.017 y ou're a discontented mother 161 00:14:21.692 --> 00:14:24.354 And a regimented wife 162 00:14:50.054 --> 00:14:53.217 What does a prince have to do to get a drink here? 163 00:14:54.559 --> 00:14:56.254 Ah, Mabel! 164 00:14:56.394 --> 00:15:00.797 Why they call you an ugly stepsister, I'll never know. 165 00:15:01.899 --> 00:15:04.993 Where's Doris? Taking the night off? 166 00:15:05.136 --> 00:15:08.902 She's not welcome here, and neither are you. 167 00:15:10.575 --> 00:15:12.600 What do you want, Oharming? 168 00:15:12.743 --> 00:15:16.804 Not much. Just a chance at redemption. 169 00:15:18.416 --> 00:15:19.883 And a Fuzzy Navel. 170 00:15:20.017 --> 00:15:23.077 And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends! 171 00:15:27.525 --> 00:15:29.152 We're not your friends. 172 00:15:31.362 --> 00:15:33.489 You don't belong here. 173 00:15:33.631 --> 00:15:37.795 You're absolutely right, but, I mean, do any of us? 174 00:15:37.935 --> 00:15:39.562 Do a number on his face. 175 00:15:39.704 --> 00:15:44.300 Wait, wait, wait! We are more alike than you think. 176 00:15:44.442 --> 00:15:48.344 Wicked Witch! The Seven Dwarfs saved Snow White, and what happened? 177 00:15:48.479 --> 00:15:49.571 Oh, what's it to you? 178 00:15:49.714 --> 00:15:51.978 They left you the unfairest of them all. 179 00:15:52.116 --> 00:15:56.644 Now here you are, hustling pool to get your next meal. 180 00:15:56.787 --> 00:15:58.618 How does that feel? 181 00:16:04.095 --> 00:16:05.687 Pretty unfair. 182 00:16:05.830 --> 00:16:07.229 And you! 183 00:16:07.365 --> 00:16:11.995 Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father. 184 00:16:13.504 --> 00:16:15.597 I hate that little wooden puppet. 185 00:16:15.740 --> 00:16:17.708 And Hook. 186 00:16:17.842 --> 00:16:19.434 Need I say more? 187 00:16:23.147 --> 00:16:25.911 - And you, Frumpypigskin! - Rumpelstiltskin. 188 00:16:26.050 --> 00:16:28.678 Where's that firstborn you were promised? 189 00:16:31.088 --> 00:16:34.990 Mabel. Remember how you couldn't get your little fat foot... 190 00:16:35.126 --> 00:16:37.026 ...into that tiny glass slipper? 191 00:16:39.697 --> 00:16:43.224 Oinderella is in Far Far Away right now... 192 00:16:43.367 --> 00:16:48.395 ...eating bonbons, cavorting with every last fairy tale creature... 193 00:16:48.539 --> 00:16:51.007 ...that has ever done you wrong! 194 00:16:51.142 --> 00:16:56.079 Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers. 195 00:16:56.213 --> 00:16:59.080 But there are two sides to every story... 196 00:16:59.250 --> 00:17:01.775 ...and our side has not been told! 197 00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:06.788 So who will join me? Who wants to come out on top for once? 198 00:17:06.924 --> 00:17:08.585 Who wants their... 199 00:17:08.726 --> 00:17:11.889 ..." happily ever after" ? 200 00:17:29.080 --> 00:17:30.741 This way, gents. 201 00:17:42.093 --> 00:17:47.121 It's out of my hands, senorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny. 202 00:17:47.264 --> 00:17:51.064 But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life. 203 00:17:51.202 --> 00:17:53.636 As are you. 204 00:17:53.771 --> 00:17:56.137 And, uh, you. 205 00:17:56.273 --> 00:17:59.436 I don't know you, but I'd like to. 206 00:18:00.611 --> 00:18:01.942 I got to go! 207 00:18:03.347 --> 00:18:05.042 I don't wanna leave you either. 208 00:18:05.182 --> 00:18:08.015 But you know how Shrek is. The dude's lost without me. 209 00:18:08.953 --> 00:18:12.286 But don't worry. I'll send you airmail kisses every day! 210 00:18:13.624 --> 00:18:14.989 Be strong, babies. 211 00:18:15.126 --> 00:18:17.560 Ooco, Peanut, listen to your mama. 212 00:18:17.695 --> 00:18:21.688 Bananas, no roasting marshmallows on your sister's head. 213 00:18:23.701 --> 00:18:25.328 That's my special boy! 214 00:18:25.469 --> 00:18:28.563 Oome here, all of you! Give your daddy a big hug! 215 00:18:35.146 --> 00:18:36.477 Shrek? 216 00:18:37.481 --> 00:18:41.781 Maybe you should just stay and be King. 217 00:18:41.919 --> 00:18:45.446 Oome on. There's no way I could run a kingdom. 218 00:18:45.589 --> 00:18:48.581 That's why your cousin Arthur is a perfect choice. 219 00:18:48.726 --> 00:18:51.251 It's not that. You see... 220 00:18:51.395 --> 00:18:55.855 And if he gives me trouble, I always have persuasion and reason. 221 00:18:56.000 --> 00:18:59.333 Here's persuasion... and here's reason. 222 00:19:01.739 --> 00:19:03.138 Fiona... 223 00:19:03.274 --> 00:19:06.539 ...soon it's just going to be you, me... 224 00:19:06.677 --> 00:19:08.338 ...and our swamp. 225 00:19:10.181 --> 00:19:12.672 It's not going to be just you and me. 226 00:19:13.951 --> 00:19:15.851 All aboard! 227 00:19:17.021 --> 00:19:19.854 It will be. I promise. 228 00:19:21.025 --> 00:19:22.515 I love you. 229 00:19:29.133 --> 00:19:30.794 That's lovely. 230 00:19:30.935 --> 00:19:32.527 Bye-bye, babies! 231 00:19:40.110 --> 00:19:41.304 Shrek! 232 00:19:42.546 --> 00:19:44.741 - Wait! - What is it? 233 00:19:44.882 --> 00:19:46.372 I'm ... I'm ... 234 00:19:50.387 --> 00:19:52.252 I love you, too, honey! 235 00:19:52.389 --> 00:19:55.222 No! I said I'm ... 236 00:19:58.229 --> 00:19:59.662 You're what? 237 00:19:59.797 --> 00:20:02.231 I said I'm pregnant! 238 00:20:06.403 --> 00:20:07.870 What was that? 239 00:20:08.005 --> 00:20:11.065 You're going to be a father! 240 00:20:12.910 --> 00:20:14.707 That's great! 241 00:20:14.845 --> 00:20:18.110 Really? I'm glad you think so! 242 00:20:18.249 --> 00:20:19.648 I love you! 243 00:20:19.783 --> 00:20:21.774 Yeah! 244 00:20:21.919 --> 00:20:24.251 Me, too! You! 245 00:20:28.125 --> 00:20:31.617 I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to be an uncle! 246 00:20:31.762 --> 00:20:34.822 And you, my friend, are royally... 247 00:21:13.537 --> 00:21:14.526 Home. 248 00:21:26.817 --> 00:21:28.148 Shrek! 249 00:21:30.487 --> 00:21:31.818 Fiona! 250 00:21:35.826 --> 00:21:37.157 Fiona? 251 00:21:56.380 --> 00:21:57.779 Oh, no. 252 00:22:00.951 --> 00:22:03.852 Better out than in, I always say. 253 00:22:13.530 --> 00:22:14.861 No, no, no! 254 00:22:17.034 --> 00:22:19.594 It's okay. It's gonna be all right. 255 00:22:24.875 --> 00:22:27.036 Stop! Hey, wait! 256 00:23:16.427 --> 00:23:17.951 Donkey. Donkey! 257 00:23:18.095 --> 00:23:19.323 Wake up! 258 00:23:21.765 --> 00:23:23.096 Dada! 259 00:23:25.536 --> 00:23:27.527 Shrek! Are you okay? 260 00:23:29.273 --> 00:23:34.802 I can't believe I'm going to be a father. How did this happen? 261 00:23:34.945 --> 00:23:39.143 Allow me to explain. When a man has feelings for a woman... 262 00:23:39.283 --> 00:23:41.808 ...a powerful urge sweeps over him. 263 00:23:41.952 --> 00:23:44.443 I know how it happened. 264 00:23:45.289 --> 00:23:47.348 I just can't believe it. 265 00:23:50.127 --> 00:23:51.958 How does it happen? 266 00:23:58.969 --> 00:24:04.236 And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon 267 00:24:04.374 --> 00:24:07.002 Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon 268 00:24:07.144 --> 00:24:09.738 When you coming home, son? I don't know when 269 00:24:09.880 --> 00:24:12.178 But we'll get together then, Dad. 270 00:24:12.316 --> 00:24:14.307 Donkey! Oan you just cut to the part 271 00:24:14.451 --> 00:24:16.976 where you're supposed to make me feel better? 272 00:24:17.721 --> 00:24:20.246 You know I love Fiona, boss. Right? 273 00:24:20.390 --> 00:24:24.451 What I am talking about is you, me, my cousin's boat... 274 00:24:24.595 --> 00:24:30.192 ...an ice cold pitcher of mojitos and two weeks of nothing but fishing. 275 00:24:30.334 --> 00:24:32.199 Don't listen to him! 276 00:24:32.336 --> 00:24:35.032 Having a baby isn't going to ruin your life. 277 00:24:35.172 --> 00:24:39.700 It's not my life I'm worried about ruining, it's the kid's . 278 00:24:39.843 --> 00:24:44.143 When have you ever heard the phrase "as sweet as an ogre" ... 279 00:24:44.281 --> 00:24:46.715 ...or " as nurturing as an ogre" ... 280 00:24:46.850 --> 00:24:51.219 ...or "You'll love my dad. He's a real ogre." 281 00:24:51.355 --> 00:24:53.118 Okay. I get it. 282 00:24:53.257 --> 00:24:56.715 It's not going to be easy. But you got us to help you. 283 00:24:56.860 --> 00:24:58.555 That's true. 284 00:24:58.695 --> 00:25:00.162 I'm doomed. 285 00:25:00.297 --> 00:25:01.958 You'll be fine. 286 00:25:02.866 --> 00:25:04.766 You're finished. 287 00:25:07.037 --> 00:25:09.699 Uh, with yourjourney. 288 00:25:17.881 --> 00:25:22.318 "Wor-ces-ters-shiree" ? Now that sounds fancy! 289 00:25:22.452 --> 00:25:23.783 It's Worcestershire. 290 00:25:23.921 --> 00:25:25.752 Like the sauce? 291 00:25:25.889 --> 00:25:27.220 It's spicy! 292 00:25:31.061 --> 00:25:32.892 They must be expecting us. 293 00:25:38.802 --> 00:25:41.600 What in the shista-shire kind of place is this? 294 00:25:41.738 --> 00:25:46.937 Well, my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty. Must be a high school. 295 00:25:47.077 --> 00:25:48.237 High school? 296 00:25:48.378 --> 00:25:49.936 Ready? Okay! 297 00:25:50.080 --> 00:25:52.514 Wherefore art thou headed, to the top? 298 00:25:52.649 --> 00:25:56.608 Yeah, we think so, we think so! And dost thou thinkest thine can be stopped? 299 00:25:56.753 --> 00:25:59.221 Nay, we thinkst not, we thinkst not! 300 00:26:04.494 --> 00:26:08.487 All right, Mr. Percival, ease up on the reins. 301 00:26:11.835 --> 00:26:15.532 For lo, bro, don't burn all my frankincense and myrrh. 302 00:26:15.672 --> 00:26:19.164 I'm feeling nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirlies! 303 00:26:19.309 --> 00:26:23.973 How did you receive wedgies when you are clearly not the wearer of underpants? 304 00:26:24.114 --> 00:26:27.015 Let's just say some things are better left unsaid. 305 00:26:27.150 --> 00:26:31.211 So I was all like, " I'd rather get the black plague than go out with you." 306 00:26:31.355 --> 00:26:33.687 - Oh, totally. - Pardon me. 307 00:26:33.824 --> 00:26:36.622 - Totally ew-eth. - Yeah, totally. 308 00:26:38.228 --> 00:26:40.822 I just altered my character level to +3 superb-ability. 309 00:26:40.964 --> 00:26:43.524 Hi. We're looking for someone named... 310 00:26:43.667 --> 00:26:48.195 Who rolled a +9 dork spell and summoned the beast and his quadruped? 311 00:26:50.040 --> 00:26:54.534 I know you're busy not fitting in, but can you tell me where I can find Arthur? 312 00:26:54.678 --> 00:26:55.975 He's over there. 313 00:27:16.166 --> 00:27:20.569 There is no sweeter taste on thy tongue than victory! 314 00:27:23.006 --> 00:27:25.873 Strong, handsome, face of a leader. 315 00:27:26.009 --> 00:27:29.342 Does Arthur look like a king or what? 316 00:27:30.514 --> 00:27:31.845 Sorry. 317 00:27:32.582 --> 00:27:35.210 Did you say you were looking for Arthur? 318 00:27:35.352 --> 00:27:37.786 That information is on a need-to-know basis. 319 00:27:37.921 --> 00:27:39.616 It's top secret! 320 00:27:39.756 --> 00:27:43.351 Now, gentlemen, let's away. To the showers! 321 00:27:45.862 --> 00:27:47.489 Greetings, Your Majesty. 322 00:27:47.631 --> 00:27:49.189 This is your lucky day. 323 00:27:50.033 --> 00:27:52.126 What are you supposed to be? 324 00:27:52.269 --> 00:27:55.534 Some kind of giant mutant leprechaun or something? 325 00:27:56.540 --> 00:28:00.032 Giant mutant... You made a funny. 326 00:28:00.544 --> 00:28:02.478 Unhand me, monster! 327 00:28:02.612 --> 00:28:04.580 Stop squirming, Arthur. 328 00:28:04.715 --> 00:28:07.047 I'm not Arthur. 329 00:28:09.052 --> 00:28:11.577 I am Lancelot. 330 00:28:11.722 --> 00:28:14.384 That dork over there is Arthur. 331 00:28:20.464 --> 00:28:22.659 This is, like, totally embarrassing... 332 00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:25.393 ...but Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly. 333 00:28:25.535 --> 00:28:28.936 She thought perchance thou would ask her to the Homecoming Dance. 334 00:28:29.072 --> 00:28:30.164 Excuse me? 335 00:28:30.307 --> 00:28:34.243 Like, whatever. She's into college guys and mythical creatures. 336 00:28:37.681 --> 00:28:39.774 Oh, Arthur... 337 00:28:39.916 --> 00:28:43.613 ...come out, come out, wherever you are! 338 00:28:45.655 --> 00:28:48.283 You better run, you little punk no-goodniks! 339 00:28:48.425 --> 00:28:51.826 The days of Donkey Dumpy Drawers are over! 340 00:28:57.934 --> 00:28:59.265 Hold it. 341 00:28:59.936 --> 00:29:01.995 We're here for the mascot contest. 342 00:29:06.676 --> 00:29:09.873 We're here for the mascot contest, too. 343 00:29:10.013 --> 00:29:12.538 This is a costume? 344 00:29:12.682 --> 00:29:14.673 Worked on it all night long. 345 00:29:16.019 --> 00:29:17.816 Looks pretty real to me. 346 00:29:17.954 --> 00:29:20.354 If he were real, could I do this? 347 00:29:22.025 --> 00:29:23.686 Or this? 348 00:29:24.961 --> 00:29:29.830 If it were real, that would have been agonizingly painful. 349 00:29:29.966 --> 00:29:33.163 - Now watch this! - That's quite enough, boys. 350 00:29:33.303 --> 00:29:37.103 Thank you to Professor Primbottom and his lecture... 351 00:29:37.240 --> 00:29:38.639 ...on "just say nay" . 352 00:29:39.576 --> 00:29:43.842 And now, without further ado, let's give a warm Worcestershire hoozah... 353 00:29:43.980 --> 00:29:47.472 ...to the winner of our mascot contest, the... 354 00:29:48.652 --> 00:29:49.641 ...ogre? 355 00:29:51.721 --> 00:29:54.019 That's right. I'm the new mascot. 356 00:29:54.157 --> 00:29:57.786 So let's really try and beat the other guys at... 357 00:29:57.928 --> 00:30:01.056 ...whatever it is they're doing! 358 00:30:04.601 --> 00:30:07.593 This is all a bit unorthodox... 359 00:30:07.737 --> 00:30:11.400 Where can I find Arthur Pendragon? 360 00:30:13.677 --> 00:30:15.167 Hey, wait... 361 00:30:19.282 --> 00:30:20.909 Olassic. 362 00:30:21.051 --> 00:30:22.746 You should be ashamed of yourself! 363 00:30:22.886 --> 00:30:25.286 I didn't do it. They did. 364 00:30:30.093 --> 00:30:31.822 Please don't eat me. 365 00:30:31.962 --> 00:30:34.294 Eat him! Eat him! Eat him! 366 00:30:35.298 --> 00:30:37.960 I'm not here to eat him! 367 00:30:39.436 --> 00:30:42.064 Time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. 368 00:30:42.205 --> 00:30:44.435 You're the new King of Far Far Away. 369 00:30:44.574 --> 00:30:46.235 What? 370 00:30:47.777 --> 00:30:51.975 Artie a king? More like the Mayor of Loserville! 371 00:30:56.720 --> 00:30:57.709 Burn. 372 00:31:01.324 --> 00:31:02.450 Is this for real? 373 00:31:02.592 --> 00:31:06.995 Absolutely. Olean out your locker, kid. You have a kingdom to run. 374 00:31:07.130 --> 00:31:09.792 So, wait...l'm really the only heir? 375 00:31:11.134 --> 00:31:12.465 The one and only. 376 00:31:13.803 --> 00:31:15.464 Give me a second. 377 00:31:17.807 --> 00:31:19.468 My good people... 378 00:31:19.609 --> 00:31:22.339 ...there's a lesson here for all of us. 379 00:31:22.479 --> 00:31:26.779 Next time you're about to dunk a kid's head in a chamber pot, stop and think, 380 00:31:26.917 --> 00:31:29.408 " Hey, maybe this guy has feelings. 381 00:31:30.153 --> 00:31:32.519 Maybe I should cut him some slack. 382 00:31:32.656 --> 00:31:36.023 Cause maybe... just maybe... 383 00:31:36.159 --> 00:31:39.856 ...this guy's gonna turn out to be, I don't know, a king? 384 00:31:39.996 --> 00:31:45.024 Maybe his first royal decree will be to banish everyone who ever picked on him." 385 00:31:45.168 --> 00:31:48.035 I'm looking at you, jousting team! 386 00:31:48.371 --> 00:31:51.568 And Guin? Oh, Guin. 387 00:31:52.442 --> 00:31:53.773 I've always loved you. 388 00:31:55.645 --> 00:31:58.205 Good friends, it breaks my heart, but... 389 00:31:58.348 --> 00:32:01.840 ...enjoy your stay here in prison while I rule the free world! 390 00:32:01.985 --> 00:32:03.577 Okay, let's not overdo it. 391 00:32:03.720 --> 00:32:07.053 I'm building my city, people... on rock 'n ' roll! 392 00:32:07.190 --> 00:32:09.055 You just overdid it. 393 00:32:18.201 --> 00:32:19.828 Look at you! 394 00:32:19.970 --> 00:32:21.494 You look darling. 395 00:32:21.638 --> 00:32:23.833 Just precious. Look at her. 396 00:32:23.974 --> 00:32:26.340 Any cravings since you got pregnant? 397 00:32:26.476 --> 00:32:29.104 No. Not at all. 398 00:32:29.946 --> 00:32:31.675 Do you smell ham? 399 00:32:31.815 --> 00:32:34.943 It's present time! 400 00:32:36.820 --> 00:32:40.881 Fiona, please open mine first. It's the one in front. 401 00:32:41.024 --> 00:32:45.654 " Oongratulations on your new mess mak..." Oh, mess maker! 402 00:32:45.795 --> 00:32:48.787 " Hopefully this helps. Love, Oinderella." 403 00:32:50.133 --> 00:32:51.794 - Look at that! - What is it? 404 00:32:53.370 --> 00:32:55.838 It's for the poopies. 405 00:32:55.972 --> 00:32:57.530 Wait... babies poop? 406 00:32:57.674 --> 00:32:59.005 Everyone poops, Beauty. 407 00:32:59.142 --> 00:33:00.609 Fiona! 408 00:33:00.744 --> 00:33:03.577 We all chipped in for a little present, too. 409 00:33:04.481 --> 00:33:06.039 Ta-da! 410 00:33:07.250 --> 00:33:10.083 You know the baby will love it, because I do! 411 00:33:10.220 --> 00:33:13.189 Guys, that's so sweet. Thank you. 412 00:33:13.323 --> 00:33:14.722 Who's this one from? 413 00:33:14.858 --> 00:33:17.793 I got you the biggest one, because I love you most. 414 00:33:17.927 --> 00:33:20.987 " Have one on me. Love, Snow White." 415 00:33:23.833 --> 00:33:25.460 What is it? 416 00:33:25.602 --> 00:33:27.126 He's a live-in babysitter. 417 00:33:27.270 --> 00:33:28.362 Where's the baby? 418 00:33:28.505 --> 00:33:32.566 You're too kind, Snow, but I can't accept this. 419 00:33:32.709 --> 00:33:35.075 It's nothing. I have six more at home. 420 00:33:35.211 --> 00:33:36.974 - What does he do? - Oleaning. 421 00:33:37.113 --> 00:33:38.705 - Feeding. - Burping. 422 00:33:38.848 --> 00:33:41.316 So, what are Shrek and I supposed to do? 423 00:33:41.451 --> 00:33:43.578 Work on your marriage. 424 00:33:43.720 --> 00:33:47.588 Thanks, Rapunzel. What's that supposed to mean? 425 00:33:47.724 --> 00:33:51.751 Oome on now, Fiona. You know what happens. 426 00:33:52.696 --> 00:33:54.721 You're tired all the time. 427 00:33:54.864 --> 00:33:56.593 You start letting yourself go. 428 00:33:56.733 --> 00:33:57.893 Stretch marks. 429 00:33:58.034 --> 00:33:59.365 Say goodbye to romance. 430 00:34:01.705 --> 00:34:05.141 I'm sorry, but how many of you have kids? 431 00:34:05.275 --> 00:34:06.833 She's right! 432 00:34:06.976 --> 00:34:11.413 A baby will only strengthen the love Shrek and Fiona have. 433 00:34:11.548 --> 00:34:14.381 How did Shrek react when you told him? 434 00:34:15.552 --> 00:34:18.715 When he first found out, Shrek said... 435 00:34:31.568 --> 00:34:35.902 Onward, my new friends! To our happily ever afters! 436 00:34:41.578 --> 00:34:43.739 Now... bombs away! 437 00:35:00.263 --> 00:35:03.130 Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan. 438 00:35:03.266 --> 00:35:05.734 - His name's not Peter. - Shut it, Wendy. 439 00:35:24.287 --> 00:35:27.950 Enough pillaging! To the castle! 440 00:35:46.309 --> 00:35:47.776 You go! Take care of the baby! 441 00:35:47.911 --> 00:35:51.074 Everybody stay calm! We're going to die! 442 00:35:55.485 --> 00:35:57.612 Everyone in! Now! 443 00:35:57.754 --> 00:35:59.881 Oome on! Put some back into it! 444 00:36:03.226 --> 00:36:04.716 We don't have time. Now go! 445 00:36:04.861 --> 00:36:06.658 Quickly, ladies! 446 00:36:08.932 --> 00:36:10.490 We'll hold them off as long as we can! 447 00:36:26.182 --> 00:36:28.582 Where are Shrek and Fiona? 448 00:36:28.718 --> 00:36:30.879 The name doesn't ring a bell. 449 00:36:31.020 --> 00:36:32.715 No bell. 450 00:36:32.856 --> 00:36:36.223 I suggest you freaks cooperate... 451 00:36:36.359 --> 00:36:38.953 ...with the new King of Far Far Away! 452 00:36:39.095 --> 00:36:42.792 The only thing you're ever gonna be king of is King of the Stupids! 453 00:36:42.932 --> 00:36:45.230 - Hook! - Right! 454 00:36:45.368 --> 00:36:47.598 Avast, ye cookie. 455 00:36:50.206 --> 00:36:51.867 Start talking. 456 00:36:56.246 --> 00:36:57.736 - Gingy! - Papa! 457 00:36:57.881 --> 00:36:59.246 Settle down now. 458 00:37:13.229 --> 00:37:16.528 On the good ship Lollipop 459 00:37:16.666 --> 00:37:20.102 It's a sweet trip to the candy shop 460 00:37:20.236 --> 00:37:21.225 You! 461 00:37:22.071 --> 00:37:24.266 You can't lie. 462 00:37:24.407 --> 00:37:28.070 So tell me, puppet... where is Shrek? 463 00:37:31.080 --> 00:37:34.311 Well... I don't know where he's not. 464 00:37:34.450 --> 00:37:36.645 You don't know where Shrek is? 465 00:37:36.786 --> 00:37:39.380 It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume... 466 00:37:39.522 --> 00:37:43.788 ...that I couldn't exactly not say that is or isn't almost partially incorrect. 467 00:37:43.927 --> 00:37:45.292 So you do know where he is! 468 00:37:45.428 --> 00:37:47.953 On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less 469 00:37:48.097 --> 00:37:50.327 not definitely rejecting the idea 470 00:37:50.466 --> 00:37:54.129 that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty... 471 00:37:54.270 --> 00:37:55.259 Stop it! 472 00:37:55.405 --> 00:37:57.532 ...I do not know where he shouldn't be. 473 00:37:57.674 --> 00:38:00.142 If that indeed wasn't where he isn't . 474 00:38:00.276 --> 00:38:03.871 Even if he wasn't not where I knew he was, it could mean... 475 00:38:04.013 --> 00:38:06.243 On the good ship Lollipop 476 00:38:06.382 --> 00:38:10.785 Enough! Shrek went off to bring back the next heir! 477 00:38:13.790 --> 00:38:15.587 He's bringing back the next heir? 478 00:38:15.725 --> 00:38:17.215 No! 479 00:38:18.461 --> 00:38:21.658 Hook! Get rid of this new " King" . 480 00:38:21.798 --> 00:38:23.663 But bring Shrek to me. 481 00:38:23.800 --> 00:38:26.997 I have something special in mind for him. 482 00:38:27.136 --> 00:38:29.297 He'll never fall for your tricks! 483 00:38:30.974 --> 00:38:32.635 Oh, boy. 484 00:38:42.485 --> 00:38:45.511 I can't believe it. Me, a king? 485 00:38:45.655 --> 00:38:48.681 I knew I came from royalty, but... 486 00:38:48.825 --> 00:38:50.918 ...I figured everyone forgot about me. 487 00:38:51.060 --> 00:38:54.791 Oh, no. In fact the King asked for you personally. 488 00:38:54.931 --> 00:38:57.491 Really? Wow. 489 00:38:58.835 --> 00:39:01.065 But I know it's not all fun and games. 490 00:39:01.204 --> 00:39:04.196 It really is all fun and games, actually. 491 00:39:04.340 --> 00:39:07.935 Sure, you have to knight a few heroes, launch a ship or two. 492 00:39:08.077 --> 00:39:12.411 By the way, make sure you hit the boat just right with the bottle. 493 00:39:12.548 --> 00:39:15.346 Any idiot can hit a boat with a bottle. 494 00:39:16.185 --> 00:39:19.120 Well, I've heard it's harder than it looks. 495 00:39:19.255 --> 00:39:21.223 This is going to be huge. 496 00:39:21.357 --> 00:39:26.226 Parties, princesses, castles. Princesses. 497 00:39:26.362 --> 00:39:29.229 You'll be living in the lap of luxury. 498 00:39:29.365 --> 00:39:31.833 The finest chefs will wait for your order. 499 00:39:31.968 --> 00:39:34.937 And fortunately, you'll have the royal food tasters. 500 00:39:35.071 --> 00:39:36.766 What do they do? 501 00:39:36.906 --> 00:39:41.502 Taste the food before the King eats, to make sure it's not poisoned. 502 00:39:41.644 --> 00:39:44.238 - Poisoned? - Or too salty. 503 00:39:44.380 --> 00:39:47.907 Don't worry. Your bodyguards will keep you safe. 504 00:39:48.051 --> 00:39:50.315 All of them willing at a moment's notice 505 00:39:50.453 --> 00:39:53.286 to lay down their lives out of devotion to you. 506 00:39:53.423 --> 00:39:54.856 Really? 507 00:39:54.991 --> 00:39:58.017 The whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance. 508 00:39:58.394 --> 00:40:00.328 Make sure they don't die of famine! 509 00:40:00.463 --> 00:40:02.192 - Or plague. - Plague is bad. 510 00:40:02.331 --> 00:40:05.232 The coughing, the groaning, the festering sores. 511 00:40:06.803 --> 00:40:11.240 Festering sores! You are one funny kitty cat. 512 00:40:11.908 --> 00:40:13.307 What did I say? 513 00:40:13.443 --> 00:40:15.809 We don't want Artie getting the wrong idea. 514 00:40:16.579 --> 00:40:17.739 Artie? 515 00:40:22.018 --> 00:40:23.781 There goes my hip! 516 00:40:23.920 --> 00:40:26.081 Artie! What are you doing? 517 00:40:28.024 --> 00:40:30.151 What does it look like?! 518 00:40:32.829 --> 00:40:35.297 This really isn't up to you. 519 00:40:35.431 --> 00:40:38.298 I don't know anything about being king! 520 00:40:38.434 --> 00:40:40.368 You'll learn on the job! 521 00:40:42.271 --> 00:40:44.796 Sorry, but I'm going back. 522 00:40:44.941 --> 00:40:47.375 Back to what? Being a loser? 523 00:40:50.947 --> 00:40:52.505 Now look what you did! 524 00:40:53.282 --> 00:40:57.116 Look what I did? Who's holding the wheel, chief? 525 00:40:58.121 --> 00:40:59.611 Shrek! 526 00:41:11.968 --> 00:41:13.959 Land ho! 527 00:41:26.482 --> 00:41:28.313 How humiliating. 528 00:41:29.318 --> 00:41:32.253 Oh, nice going, Your Highness. 529 00:41:32.388 --> 00:41:36.085 Now it's "Your Highness" ? What happened to " loser" ? 530 00:41:36.225 --> 00:41:39.126 If you think this is getting you out of anything, it isn't . 531 00:41:39.262 --> 00:41:43.028 We're heading back to Far Far Away one way or another... 532 00:41:43.166 --> 00:41:45.600 ...and you're going to be a father! 533 00:41:45.735 --> 00:41:47.168 What? 534 00:41:48.004 --> 00:41:49.562 You just said "father" . 535 00:41:49.705 --> 00:41:52.435 King! You're going to be king! 536 00:41:52.575 --> 00:41:55.567 "You're going to be king!" Yeah, right. 537 00:41:56.779 --> 00:41:58.212 Where are you going? 538 00:41:58.347 --> 00:42:00.815 Far Far Away... from you! 539 00:42:00.950 --> 00:42:02.918 Get back here, young man! 540 00:42:04.887 --> 00:42:07.378 Boss? I don't think he's coming back. 541 00:42:07.523 --> 00:42:10.720 Maybe it's for the best. He's not exactly king material. 542 00:42:10.860 --> 00:42:14.091 When did you plan to tell him you were supposed to be king? 543 00:42:14.230 --> 00:42:17.063 Oome on. Why would I do that? 544 00:42:17.200 --> 00:42:20.260 Besides, he'll be ten times better at it than me. 545 00:42:20.403 --> 00:42:24.362 Then change your tactics if you want to get anywhere with him. 546 00:42:26.709 --> 00:42:28.540 You're right, Donkey. 547 00:42:30.880 --> 00:42:32.404 What about this? 548 00:42:32.548 --> 00:42:36.382 - Shrek! - Oome on. It's just a joke. 549 00:42:37.954 --> 00:42:39.285 Still... 550 00:42:56.072 --> 00:42:57.733 Listen, Artie. 551 00:42:58.307 --> 00:43:03.438 If you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude. 552 00:43:03.579 --> 00:43:07.709 I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof. 553 00:43:07.850 --> 00:43:09.977 But what I am screamin' is, yo... 554 00:43:10.119 --> 00:43:13.316 ...check out this kazing thazing, bazaby! 555 00:43:13.456 --> 00:43:15.549 If it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying 556 00:43:15.691 --> 00:43:18.626 ain't straight trippin', say, " Oh, no, you didn't ! 557 00:43:18.761 --> 00:43:21.195 You're getting on my last nerve." 558 00:43:21.330 --> 00:43:24.322 And then I'll know it's ... I'll know it's wack! 559 00:43:25.935 --> 00:43:27.129 Help! 560 00:43:27.270 --> 00:43:30.671 I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me! 561 00:43:30.806 --> 00:43:34.435 - Artie, wait. - Oome on! Help! Hello? 562 00:43:35.945 --> 00:43:39.642 Greetings, cosmic children of the universe. 563 00:43:39.782 --> 00:43:41.716 Welcome to my serenity circle. 564 00:43:41.851 --> 00:43:45.981 Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex. 565 00:43:46.122 --> 00:43:47.953 Now prepare to... 566 00:43:53.629 --> 00:43:56.462 I knew I should have got that warranty! 567 00:43:59.368 --> 00:44:00.835 Mr. Merlin? 568 00:44:00.970 --> 00:44:02.437 You know this guy? 569 00:44:02.571 --> 00:44:06.837 Yeah. He was the school magic teacher, until he had his nervous breakdown. 570 00:44:06.976 --> 00:44:10.343 Technically, I was merely a victim of a level 3 fatigue. 571 00:44:10.479 --> 00:44:12.572 At the request of my therapist, 572 00:44:12.715 --> 00:44:16.344 and the school authorities, I retired to the tranquility of nature 573 00:44:16.485 --> 00:44:18.646 to discover my divine purpose. 574 00:44:20.156 --> 00:44:23.557 Oan I interest anyone in a snack or beverage? 575 00:44:23.693 --> 00:44:24.785 Uh, no. 576 00:44:24.927 --> 00:44:28.260 Sure you don't want to try my Rock Au Gratin? 577 00:44:31.167 --> 00:44:32.634 It's organic. 578 00:44:32.768 --> 00:44:35.202 Thanks. I ate a boulder on the way in. 579 00:44:35.338 --> 00:44:38.273 We need directions to Far Far Away. 580 00:44:38.407 --> 00:44:40.932 "We" ? Who said I was going with you? 581 00:44:41.077 --> 00:44:45.446 I did. People are counting on you, so don't try to weasel out of it. 582 00:44:45.581 --> 00:44:47.640 If the job's so great, you do it. 583 00:44:48.184 --> 00:44:52.450 Understand this, kid. No more Mr. Nice Guy from here on out. 584 00:44:52.588 --> 00:44:54.886 That was your Mr. Nice Guy? 585 00:44:55.024 --> 00:44:56.958 Yeah, and I'm going to miss him. 586 00:44:57.093 --> 00:45:01.496 Why don't you go terrorize a village and leave me alone! 587 00:45:01.630 --> 00:45:06.158 Was that a crack about ogres? You get your royal highness to Far Far Away... 588 00:45:06.302 --> 00:45:10.329 ...before I kick it there! Now, which way am I kicking? 589 00:45:10.473 --> 00:45:12.304 I could tell you, but since you're 590 00:45:12.441 --> 00:45:14.966 in the midst of a self-destructive rage spiral, 591 00:45:15.111 --> 00:45:17.636 it would be karmically irresponsible. 592 00:45:17.780 --> 00:45:21.443 Self-destructive...? Are you going to help us or not? 593 00:45:21.584 --> 00:45:24.178 Most definitely, but only after you 594 00:45:24.320 --> 00:45:27.517 take the journey to your soul! 595 00:45:27.656 --> 00:45:29.021 I don't think so. 596 00:45:29.158 --> 00:45:32.992 It's either that or primal scream therapy. 597 00:45:35.064 --> 00:45:37.726 All right. Journey to the soul. 598 00:45:38.567 --> 00:45:40.432 Now, all of you, 599 00:45:40.569 --> 00:45:43.094 look into the Fire of Truth 600 00:45:43.239 --> 00:45:46.231 and tell me what you see. 601 00:45:49.078 --> 00:45:50.943 Ooh, charades! 602 00:45:51.080 --> 00:45:55.847 Okay, I see a Dutch fudge torte with cinnamon swirls! 603 00:45:55.985 --> 00:45:58.579 Okay, monster... go for it. 604 00:46:07.263 --> 00:46:08.958 I see a rainbow pony. 605 00:46:09.098 --> 00:46:11.032 Excellent work! Now the boy. 606 00:46:11.167 --> 00:46:12.634 This is lame. 607 00:46:12.768 --> 00:46:15.032 You're lame! Now just go for it. 608 00:46:16.605 --> 00:46:17.936 Okay. 609 00:46:18.774 --> 00:46:23.211 There's a baby bird and a father bird sitting in a nest. 610 00:46:23.345 --> 00:46:25.336 Yes! Stay with it! 611 00:46:26.182 --> 00:46:30.175 The dad just flew away. Why did he leave the little bird all alone? 612 00:46:30.853 --> 00:46:34.289 It's trying to fly, but it doesn't know how to. 613 00:46:35.191 --> 00:46:37.352 It's going to fall! 614 00:46:42.198 --> 00:46:46.191 Proper head case you are. Really messed up. 615 00:46:49.538 --> 00:46:54.532 Okay, I get it. The bird's me. My dad left. So what? 616 00:47:06.555 --> 00:47:09.217 Look, Artie, um... 617 00:47:13.562 --> 00:47:16.326 Just thought I'd help set the mood... 618 00:47:16.465 --> 00:47:19.798 ...for your big heart-to-heart chat. 619 00:47:28.244 --> 00:47:31.577 I know what it's like to not feel ready for something. 620 00:47:33.916 --> 00:47:36.248 Even ogres get scared. 621 00:47:37.086 --> 00:47:39.919 You know... once in a while. 622 00:47:41.924 --> 00:47:45.690 I know you want me to be king, but I can't . 623 00:47:45.828 --> 00:47:48.695 I'm not cut out for it, and I never will be. 624 00:47:49.598 --> 00:47:52.089 Even my own dad knew I wasn't worth the trouble. 625 00:47:52.234 --> 00:47:55.431 He dumped me at that school first chance he got... 626 00:47:56.105 --> 00:47:58.437 ...and I never heard from him again. 627 00:48:00.109 --> 00:48:03.943 My dad wasn't really the fatherly type, either. 628 00:48:04.446 --> 00:48:06.607 I doubt he was worse than mine. 629 00:48:07.449 --> 00:48:08.746 Oh, yeah? 630 00:48:08.884 --> 00:48:12.945 My father was an ogre. He tried to eat me. 631 00:48:13.789 --> 00:48:15.984 I guess I should have realized it. 632 00:48:16.125 --> 00:48:20.391 He bathed me in barbecue sauce and put me to bed with an apple in my mouth. 633 00:48:22.298 --> 00:48:24.789 I guess that's pretty bad. 634 00:48:27.136 --> 00:48:29.331 It may be hard to believe, 635 00:48:29.471 --> 00:48:32.929 what, with my obvious charm and good looks, 636 00:48:33.075 --> 00:48:36.010 but people used to think I was a monster. 637 00:48:36.145 --> 00:48:39.808 And for a long time, I believed them. 638 00:48:41.817 --> 00:48:43.409 But after a while, 639 00:48:43.552 --> 00:48:47.079 you learn to ignore the names people call you 640 00:48:47.223 --> 00:48:49.555 and just trust who you are. 641 00:48:51.660 --> 00:48:54.823 You know... you're okay, Shrek. 642 00:48:55.664 --> 00:48:59.225 You just need to do a little less yelling and use a little more soap. 643 00:49:00.569 --> 00:49:02.196 Thanks, Artie. 644 00:49:02.338 --> 00:49:06.001 The soap's because you stink... really bad. 645 00:49:07.176 --> 00:49:09.667 Yeah... I got that. 646 00:49:13.682 --> 00:49:16.549 This place is filthy! 647 00:49:16.852 --> 00:49:18.444 I feel like a hobo. 648 00:49:19.688 --> 00:49:22.452 I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me. 649 00:49:22.591 --> 00:49:27.153 Everything's always about you. It's not like your attitude is helping. 650 00:49:27.296 --> 00:49:30.993 Maybe itjust bothers you I was voted fairest in the land. 651 00:49:31.133 --> 00:49:33.226 You mean in that rigged election? 652 00:49:33.369 --> 00:49:36.338 Give me a break. " Rapunzel, Rapunzel... 653 00:49:36.472 --> 00:49:39.600 ...let down thy golden extensions!" 654 00:49:39.742 --> 00:49:44.543 Ladies, let go of your petty complaints and let's work together! 655 00:49:47.516 --> 00:49:50.508 So I guess the plan is we just wander aimlessly 656 00:49:50.653 --> 00:49:52.746 in this stinkhole until we rot. 657 00:49:52.888 --> 00:49:56.415 No, we get inside and find out what Oharming's up to. 658 00:49:56.558 --> 00:49:59.254 I know he's a jerk and everything, 659 00:49:59.395 --> 00:50:03.559 but that Oharming makes me hotter than July. 660 00:50:04.900 --> 00:50:06.231 That's it! 661 00:50:34.263 --> 00:50:36.629 Oome on! This way! 662 00:50:36.765 --> 00:50:37.754 Rapunzel, wait! 663 00:50:47.276 --> 00:50:49.107 Oharming, let go of her. 664 00:50:49.244 --> 00:50:51.872 But why would I want to do that? 665 00:50:57.419 --> 00:50:58.408 What? 666 00:50:58.554 --> 00:51:03.651 Say hello, ladies, to the new Queen of Far Far Away. 667 00:51:07.663 --> 00:51:09.460 Rapunzel, how could you? 668 00:51:09.598 --> 00:51:11.862 Jealous much? 669 00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:14.434 Soon you'll be back where you started, 670 00:51:14.570 --> 00:51:17.198 scrubbing floors or locked away in towers. 671 00:51:17.339 --> 00:51:20.968 That is, if I let you last the week. 672 00:51:23.278 --> 00:51:25.872 Pookie, you promised not to hurt them. 673 00:51:26.014 --> 00:51:30.007 Not here, kitten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later. 674 00:51:30.753 --> 00:51:33.278 Now forgive us. We have a show to put on. 675 00:51:33.422 --> 00:51:36.687 Shrek will be back soon, and you'll be sorry. 676 00:51:36.825 --> 00:51:38.224 Sorry?! 677 00:51:38.360 --> 00:51:42.626 Don't you realize once Shrek sets foot in Far Far Away... 678 00:51:42.765 --> 00:51:44.528 ...he's doomed? 679 00:52:24.072 --> 00:52:25.699 Look out! They got a piano! 680 00:52:25.841 --> 00:52:29.208 Kill them all... except the fat one. 681 00:52:29.344 --> 00:52:33.713 King Oharming has something special in mind for you, ogre. 682 00:52:33.849 --> 00:52:35.146 King Oharming? 683 00:52:35.284 --> 00:52:36.308 Attack! 684 00:52:42.591 --> 00:52:43.751 Artie, duck! 685 00:52:58.307 --> 00:52:59.569 Ready the plank! 686 00:53:15.290 --> 00:53:16.951 - Shrek! - Help! 687 00:53:36.278 --> 00:53:37.575 Oowards! 688 00:53:37.713 --> 00:53:40.079 What has Oharming done with Fiona? 689 00:53:40.215 --> 00:53:42.809 She's going to get what's coming to her. 690 00:53:43.385 --> 00:53:48.288 And there ain't nothing you can do to stop him! 691 00:53:48.423 --> 00:53:50.948 - We've got to save her. - But she's so far far away! 692 00:53:51.894 --> 00:53:54.192 Get yourself back to Worcestershire, kid. 693 00:53:54.329 --> 00:53:57.821 No, Shrek. Hold on. I've got an idea. 694 00:53:57.966 --> 00:54:00.230 I am a buzzing bee. 695 00:54:00.903 --> 00:54:04.100 Mr. Merlin? They need a spell to get them... 696 00:54:04.239 --> 00:54:07.265 ...I mean us, back to Far Far Away. 697 00:54:07.409 --> 00:54:10.845 Forget it. I don't have that kind of magic in me anymore. 698 00:54:10.979 --> 00:54:14.676 How about a hug? That's the best kind of magic. 699 00:54:14.816 --> 00:54:17.182 Please. I know you can do it. 700 00:54:17.319 --> 00:54:19.116 I said forget it! 701 00:54:19.254 --> 00:54:20.585 But... 702 00:54:27.996 --> 00:54:29.588 What's with you? 703 00:54:30.933 --> 00:54:34.096 It's just so hard, you know? 704 00:54:34.770 --> 00:54:38.900 They need to get back, cause their kingdom's in trouble. 705 00:54:39.041 --> 00:54:41.566 Cause there's a really bad man. 706 00:54:41.710 --> 00:54:43.473 It's just so hard! 707 00:54:43.612 --> 00:54:45.739 Take it easy. 708 00:54:45.881 --> 00:54:49.248 No! I don't think you understand! 709 00:54:49.384 --> 00:54:53.912 There's a mean person doing mean things to good people. 710 00:54:54.056 --> 00:54:55.751 Have a heart, old man. 711 00:54:55.891 --> 00:55:00.055 They really need your help to get back. Why won't you help them?! 712 00:55:03.899 --> 00:55:05.491 Okay. 713 00:55:05.634 --> 00:55:07.625 I'll go get my things. 714 00:55:10.405 --> 00:55:11.599 Piece of cake. 715 00:55:11.740 --> 00:55:15.267 Well, well. You want eggs with that ham? 716 00:55:15.410 --> 00:55:19.107 I am a little rusty, so there could be some side effects. 717 00:55:19.247 --> 00:55:20.714 - Side effects? - Don't worry. 718 00:55:20.849 --> 00:55:24.615 Whatever it is, no matter how excruciatingly painful, 719 00:55:24.753 --> 00:55:27.916 it will wear off eventually. I think. 720 00:55:29.891 --> 00:55:32.121 - Oops. - You sure about this? 721 00:55:32.260 --> 00:55:36.390 If Artie trusts him, that's good enough for me. 722 00:55:36.531 --> 00:55:38.396 Even if his robe doesn't cover... 723 00:55:38.533 --> 00:55:41.058 Alacritious expeditious... 724 00:55:41.203 --> 00:55:43.899 ...a-zoomy-zoom-zoom! 725 00:55:44.039 --> 00:55:46.872 Let's help our friends get back... 726 00:55:49.611 --> 00:55:50.942 ...soon! 727 00:55:58.286 --> 00:55:59.878 It worked! 728 00:56:08.597 --> 00:56:11.623 I haven't been on a trip like that since college! 729 00:56:12.067 --> 00:56:13.329 Donkey? 730 00:56:13.468 --> 00:56:16.301 What? Is something in my teeth? 731 00:56:18.740 --> 00:56:23.734 Oh, no! I've been abracadabra-ed into a Fancy Feastin', second-rate sidekick! 732 00:56:26.081 --> 00:56:30.142 At least you don't look like some kind of bloated piñata! 733 00:56:30.285 --> 00:56:32.344 You should think about going on a diet! 734 00:56:32.487 --> 00:56:37.083 You should get yourself a pair of pants. I feel all exposed and nasty! 735 00:56:38.760 --> 00:56:41.092 So you two think this is funny? 736 00:56:43.598 --> 00:56:45.395 I'm really sorry, guys. 737 00:56:45.534 --> 00:56:48.002 Don't be. You got us back, kid. 738 00:56:53.675 --> 00:56:55.802 How in the Hans Ohristian Andersen 739 00:56:55.944 --> 00:56:58.708 am I supposed to parade around in these goofy boots? 740 00:56:58.847 --> 00:57:01.680 Hey, hey, hey! Be very careful with those. 741 00:57:03.118 --> 00:57:06.451 They were made in Madrid by the finest... 742 00:57:07.122 --> 00:57:09.113 You'll learn to control that. 743 00:57:12.027 --> 00:57:17.021 Seriously. Ow! You need some comfort inserts or arch supports or something. 744 00:57:23.205 --> 00:57:28.074 Watch it. I'm walking here and I'm gonna keep going until... 745 00:57:28.210 --> 00:57:29.302 Pinocchio! 746 00:57:30.045 --> 00:57:32.070 Shrek! Help me! 747 00:57:32.214 --> 00:57:35.411 - What happened? - Oharming and the villains took over! 748 00:57:35.550 --> 00:57:39.316 Fiona and the Princesses got away. Now she's ... 749 00:57:39.454 --> 00:57:40.978 She's what?! What?! 750 00:57:43.325 --> 00:57:45.156 Puss! Loan me five bucks. 751 00:57:45.293 --> 00:57:47.523 You heard him. Help the brother out. 752 00:57:47.662 --> 00:57:49.755 Do you see any pockets on me? 753 00:57:49.898 --> 00:57:51.729 Hold on a second. 754 00:57:54.236 --> 00:57:58.400 I had no idea, really. I... I swear. 755 00:57:59.574 --> 00:58:01.769 Quick! Where is Fiona? 756 00:58:01.910 --> 00:58:05.676 Oharming has her locked away someplace. You have to find him! 757 00:58:05.814 --> 00:58:08.681 He's probably getting ready for the show! 758 00:58:08.817 --> 00:58:11.149 Wait, Pinocchio! What show? 759 00:58:16.158 --> 00:58:18.558 " It's a Happily Ever After After All" . 760 00:58:18.693 --> 00:58:21.025 " Shrek's final performance" ? 761 00:58:21.163 --> 00:58:25.293 Shrek! You didn't tell us you were in a play! 762 00:58:25.433 --> 00:58:28.891 I guess I've been so busy I forgot to mention it. 763 00:58:29.037 --> 00:58:30.595 The ogre! Get him! 764 00:58:31.940 --> 00:58:34.272 Don't worry, jefe. I got this. 765 00:58:40.816 --> 00:58:42.443 Uck! Kill it! 766 00:58:43.451 --> 00:58:48.582 Look. Don't you know who he thinks he is? How dare you! 767 00:58:48.723 --> 00:58:50.247 We're dealing with amateurs. 768 00:58:50.392 --> 00:58:55.329 He's a star, people! Hello? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek. 769 00:58:55.463 --> 00:58:56.987 I'm going to lose it! 770 00:58:57.132 --> 00:59:00.932 Is everything ready? You did get the list for the dressing room? 771 00:59:01.069 --> 00:59:04.163 Breakfast croissant stuffed with seared sashimi tuna. 772 00:59:04.306 --> 00:59:07.605 And I hope you have the saffron corn with jalapeno honey butter. 773 00:59:07.742 --> 00:59:10.734 Our client cannot get into his proper emotional state 774 00:59:10.879 --> 00:59:12.676 withoutjalapeno honey butter! 775 00:59:12.814 --> 00:59:14.213 I just lost it. 776 00:59:14.983 --> 00:59:17.508 They should talk to Nancy in Human Resources. 777 00:59:17.652 --> 00:59:21.144 Oh, we will have much to say to Nancy, I promise! 778 00:59:22.824 --> 00:59:26.521 "With this sword, I do..." No. "With..." 779 00:59:26.661 --> 00:59:30.324 "With this sword, I do smote thee!" 780 00:59:31.233 --> 00:59:33.701 Is " smote" the right word? " Smoot" ? 781 00:59:33.835 --> 00:59:35.700 I don't think that's a word. 782 00:59:35.837 --> 00:59:40.171 Maybe I should just " smite" him. Let's try this again. Now... 783 00:59:41.343 --> 00:59:44.506 Shrek attacks me. I pretend to be afraid. 784 00:59:45.247 --> 00:59:49.650 " Now the kingdom will get the happily ever after they deserve. Die, ogre!" 785 00:59:49.784 --> 00:59:53.447 Blah, blah, blah. Oh, itjust doesn't feel real enough! 786 00:59:55.357 --> 00:59:57.382 Who told you to stop dancing?! 787 00:59:57.525 --> 00:59:58.992 Wink and turn. 788 00:59:59.127 --> 01:00:02.358 What are you laying around for? Get up! Honestly! 789 01:00:11.039 --> 01:00:14.236 Our happily ever after is nearly complete, Mummy. 790 01:00:14.376 --> 01:00:16.571 And I assure you... 791 01:00:16.711 --> 01:00:21.705 ...the people of this kingdom will pay dearly for every second... 792 01:00:22.884 --> 01:00:24.545 ...we've had to wait. 793 01:00:26.154 --> 01:00:27.587 Break a leg. 794 01:00:27.722 --> 01:00:30.486 On second thought, let me break it for you. 795 01:00:30.625 --> 01:00:34.925 Thank goodness. I was afraid you wouldn't get back in time. 796 01:00:35.063 --> 01:00:36.690 Where's Fiona? 797 01:00:36.831 --> 01:00:41.063 Don't worry. She and the others are safe... for now. 798 01:00:50.245 --> 01:00:53.578 Let me guess. Arthur. 799 01:00:54.249 --> 01:00:56.274 It's Artie, actually. 800 01:00:56.418 --> 01:01:01.412 This boy is supposed to be the new King of Far Far Away? 801 01:01:03.325 --> 01:01:04.622 How pathetic. 802 01:01:04.759 --> 01:01:07.626 Stand still, so I won't make a mess. 803 01:01:07.762 --> 01:01:11.198 Oharming, stop! I'm here now. You got what you wanted. 804 01:01:11.333 --> 01:01:12.994 This isn't about him. 805 01:01:13.768 --> 01:01:18.102 Then who's it about? I'm supposed to be king, right? 806 01:01:19.441 --> 01:01:23.810 You weren't really next in line for the throne. 807 01:01:23.945 --> 01:01:25.344 I was. 808 01:01:25.480 --> 01:01:28.813 But you said the King asked for me personally. 809 01:01:28.950 --> 01:01:30.781 Not exactly. 810 01:01:30.919 --> 01:01:32.352 What does that mean? 811 01:01:32.487 --> 01:01:34.978 I said whatever I had to say, all right? 812 01:01:35.123 --> 01:01:38.820 I wasn't right for the job, so I needed some fool to replace me. 813 01:01:38.960 --> 01:01:42.623 And you fit the bill. So just go! 814 01:01:45.700 --> 01:01:47.759 You were playing me the whole time. 815 01:01:47.902 --> 01:01:49.665 You catch on real fast, kid. 816 01:01:49.804 --> 01:01:52.898 Maybe you're not as big of a loser as I thought. 817 01:01:59.314 --> 01:02:01.680 You know, for a minute... 818 01:02:01.816 --> 01:02:03.716 - ...I actually thought... - What? 819 01:02:03.852 --> 01:02:07.344 That he cared about you? He's an ogre. 820 01:02:07.489 --> 01:02:09.320 What did you expect? 821 01:02:19.300 --> 01:02:23.327 You really do have a way with children, Shrek. 822 01:02:35.683 --> 01:02:39.483 Leave me out with the waste 823 01:02:39.621 --> 01:02:42.556 This is not what I do 824 01:02:42.690 --> 01:02:46.387 It's the wrong time 825 01:02:46.528 --> 01:02:49.224 She's pulling me through 826 01:02:49.364 --> 01:02:53.061 It's a small crime 827 01:02:53.201 --> 01:02:55.829 And I got no excuse 828 01:02:55.970 --> 01:02:58.370 And is that all right, yeah? 829 01:02:59.841 --> 01:03:01.866 Is that all right with you? 830 01:03:02.710 --> 01:03:07.044 Is that all right, yeah? 831 01:03:07.549 --> 01:03:11.542 If I give my gun away when it's loaded? 832 01:03:13.721 --> 01:03:18.385 If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it? 833 01:03:21.563 --> 01:03:24.430 Is that all right? Is that all right? 834 01:03:24.566 --> 01:03:28.002 Is that all right with you? 835 01:03:28.136 --> 01:03:29.001 No. 836 01:03:29.337 --> 01:03:31.168 Had we stayed put like I suggested, 837 01:03:31.306 --> 01:03:34.104 we'd be sipping tea out of little heart-shaped cups. 838 01:03:34.242 --> 01:03:35.766 Yeah, heart-shaped cups. 839 01:03:35.910 --> 01:03:38.538 And eating crumpets smothered with loganberries. 840 01:03:38.680 --> 01:03:40.272 Yeah, loganberries. 841 01:03:40.415 --> 01:03:42.280 - Shut up, Oindy. - Yeah, shut up. 842 01:03:42.417 --> 01:03:45.284 - No, you shut up. - Stay out of this. 843 01:03:45.420 --> 01:03:48.218 Who cares who's " running the kingdom" ? 844 01:03:48.356 --> 01:03:51.587 - I care. - You should all care. 845 01:03:55.563 --> 01:03:58.464 I have your badge number, tin can! 846 01:03:58.600 --> 01:04:00.465 - Donkey? - Princess! 847 01:04:00.602 --> 01:04:01.591 Puss? 848 01:04:01.736 --> 01:04:05.797 I am Puss, stuck here inside this hideous body. 849 01:04:05.940 --> 01:04:06.964 And I'm me! 850 01:04:07.108 --> 01:04:08.234 But you're... 851 01:04:08.376 --> 01:04:11.038 Everything's fruity in the loops, but what happened is 852 01:04:11.179 --> 01:04:13.147 we went to high school, the boat crashed 853 01:04:13.281 --> 01:04:15.841 and we got bippity-boppity-booped by the magic man. 854 01:04:15.984 --> 01:04:18.179 You poor sweet things. 855 01:04:18.319 --> 01:04:19.718 I don't get it. 856 01:04:19.854 --> 01:04:23.585 The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet. What's to get? 857 01:04:23.725 --> 01:04:25.090 Who dat? 858 01:04:25.226 --> 01:04:26.250 Where's Shrek? 859 01:04:26.394 --> 01:04:30.387 Oharming has him. He plans to kill Shrek tonight in front of the whole kingdom! 860 01:04:31.799 --> 01:04:35.963 All right, everyone. We need to find a way out now. 861 01:04:36.104 --> 01:04:39.631 You're right. Ladies, assume the position! 862 01:04:44.512 --> 01:04:45.706 What are you doing? 863 01:04:46.481 --> 01:04:47.846 Waiting to be rescued. 864 01:04:47.982 --> 01:04:49.950 You've got to be kidding me. 865 01:04:50.084 --> 01:04:52.848 What else can we do? We're just four... 866 01:04:52.987 --> 01:04:56.286 ...I mean three, super-hot princesses... 867 01:04:56.424 --> 01:05:00.485 ...two circus freaks, a pregnant ogre and an old lady! 868 01:05:01.329 --> 01:05:05.663 Excuse me. Old lady coming through. 869 01:05:14.275 --> 01:05:16.072 Mom! 870 01:05:16.211 --> 01:05:20.477 You didn't think you got your fighting skills from your father, did you? 871 01:05:20.615 --> 01:05:23.345 Excuse me. There's still one more. 872 01:05:33.528 --> 01:05:35.860 Why don't you just lie down? 873 01:05:38.533 --> 01:05:41.400 Okay, girls, from here on out... 874 01:05:41.536 --> 01:05:44.004 ...we take care of business ourselves. 875 01:06:01.055 --> 01:06:05.583 The Far Far Away Theatre at the Charming Pavilion is proud to present... 876 01:06:05.727 --> 01:06:07.490 ..."It's A Happily Ever After After AII." 877 01:06:07.629 --> 01:06:10.928 Enjoy your evening of theatrical reverie, citizen. 878 01:06:11.065 --> 01:06:14.398 Oi! No food or beverages in the theater! 879 01:06:28.249 --> 01:06:29.614 Places, everyone! 880 01:06:34.756 --> 01:06:35.882 Easy! 881 01:06:36.024 --> 01:06:39.926 Sorry. I was showing off for the little one. 882 01:06:40.662 --> 01:06:44.257 It's Bring Your Kids to Work Day. Oome here, beautiful. 883 01:06:47.435 --> 01:06:50.427 Well, she's got your eye. 884 01:06:51.673 --> 01:06:56.610 Who would have thought a monster like me deserved something as special as you? 885 01:07:38.286 --> 01:07:41.312 Little birdies, take wing 886 01:07:42.156 --> 01:07:44.784 Flitting down from the trees they appear 887 01:07:44.926 --> 01:07:47.394 And to chirp in my ear 888 01:07:48.663 --> 01:07:51.655 All because I sing 889 01:08:21.295 --> 01:08:22.353 Move it! Go! 890 01:08:28.970 --> 01:08:30.699 My babies! 891 01:08:31.706 --> 01:08:32.695 Help! 892 01:09:18.252 --> 01:09:20.243 Hey, how's it goin' 893 01:09:30.932 --> 01:09:32.866 O to the K. The coast is clear. 894 01:09:33.000 --> 01:09:35.628 Let's do this. Go, Team Dynamite! 895 01:09:35.770 --> 01:09:39.604 I thought we agreed to use the name Team Super Oool. 896 01:09:39.740 --> 01:09:41.970 I recall it was Team Awesome. 897 01:09:42.109 --> 01:09:44.043 I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron. 898 01:09:44.178 --> 01:09:46.146 Okay! From henceforth, 899 01:09:46.280 --> 01:09:50.410 we will be Team Alpha Super Awesome Oool Dynamite Wolf Squadron. 900 01:09:50.551 --> 01:09:54.783 Ach de liebe! There is some strange little girl over there staring at us! 901 01:09:55.723 --> 01:09:57.088 Artie! 902 01:09:57.225 --> 01:09:58.590 Wait, wait! 903 01:09:58.726 --> 01:10:00.921 Where is the fire, señor? 904 01:10:01.062 --> 01:10:03.087 Please. Don't act so innocent. 905 01:10:03.231 --> 01:10:06.997 You both knew what was going on and kept it to yourselves. 906 01:10:07.134 --> 01:10:08.726 It's not like it seems. 907 01:10:08.870 --> 01:10:11.703 It's not? I think it seems pretty clear. 908 01:10:11.839 --> 01:10:14.364 He was using me. That's all. 909 01:10:14.509 --> 01:10:16.943 Using you? You really don't get it. 910 01:10:17.078 --> 01:10:20.070 Shrek only said those things to protect you. 911 01:10:20.748 --> 01:10:25.412 Oharming was going to kill you, Artie! Shrek saved your life. 912 01:10:35.997 --> 01:10:37.589 Oue the spot! 913 01:10:41.435 --> 01:10:43.960 I wait alone up here 914 01:10:44.105 --> 01:10:46.801 I'm trapped another day 915 01:10:46.941 --> 01:10:50.138 Locked up here, please set me free 916 01:10:50.278 --> 01:10:53.304 My new life I almost see 917 01:10:53.447 --> 01:10:56.143 A castle, you and me 918 01:10:56.284 --> 01:11:01.381 Yes, a castle, you and me 919 01:11:03.457 --> 01:11:04.515 Oherubs! 920 01:11:08.462 --> 01:11:12.262 Tis I, Tis I Upon my regal steed 921 01:11:12.400 --> 01:11:14.027 Princess, my love 922 01:11:14.168 --> 01:11:16.932 At last you shall be freed I'm strong 923 01:11:17.071 --> 01:11:19.039 And brave And dashing my way there 924 01:11:19.473 --> 01:11:25.139 With speed! With might! With soft and bouncy hair! 925 01:11:26.113 --> 01:11:29.879 - Through the blistering desert - Hot! 926 01:11:30.017 --> 01:11:33.043 - Across the stormiest sea - Wet! 927 01:11:33.187 --> 01:11:35.178 Facing creatures so vile 928 01:11:35.323 --> 01:11:36.449 Foul! 929 01:11:36.591 --> 01:11:40.721 So you can gaze upon me! 930 01:11:42.029 --> 01:11:44.361 I knew you'd come for me 931 01:11:44.498 --> 01:11:48.332 And now we finally meet 932 01:11:48.469 --> 01:11:49.936 I knew you'd wait 933 01:11:50.071 --> 01:11:54.599 And from my plate of love you'd eat 934 01:12:14.528 --> 01:12:17.861 Who is this terribly ugly fiend Who so rudely intervened? 935 01:12:17.999 --> 01:12:19.830 Will Charming fight or flee? 936 01:12:19.967 --> 01:12:21.025 Please rescue me! 937 01:12:21.168 --> 01:12:22.863 From this monstrosity! 938 01:12:23.004 --> 01:12:28.032 Fear thee not, honey lamb! I will slice this thing up like a ham! 939 01:12:29.210 --> 01:12:30.677 Oh, boy. 940 01:12:30.811 --> 01:12:34.406 You are about to enter a world of pain 941 01:12:34.548 --> 01:12:38.882 With which you are not familiar! 942 01:12:42.323 --> 01:12:46.726 It can't be any more painful than your lousy performance. 943 01:12:50.398 --> 01:12:52.389 " Prepare, foul beast." 944 01:12:54.502 --> 01:12:57.767 Prepare, foul beast, your time is done! 945 01:12:57.905 --> 01:13:01.068 Oould you kill me and then sing? 946 01:13:02.576 --> 01:13:04.271 Be quiet! 947 01:13:04.412 --> 01:13:08.542 I'm just having fun with you. That's actually a very nice leotard. 948 01:13:08.683 --> 01:13:09.945 Thank you. 949 01:13:10.084 --> 01:13:12.177 Do they come in men's sizes? 950 01:13:15.256 --> 01:13:16.985 Now that be funny! 951 01:13:17.124 --> 01:13:19.092 Enough! 952 01:13:21.495 --> 01:13:25.295 Now you'll finally know what it's like... 953 01:13:25.433 --> 01:13:28.960 ...to have everything you worked for... 954 01:13:29.103 --> 01:13:33.130 ...everything that's precious to you, taken away. 955 01:13:33.274 --> 01:13:36.607 Now you'll know how I felt. 956 01:13:43.951 --> 01:13:45.612 Sausage roll! 957 01:14:02.970 --> 01:14:05.495 Pray for mercy from Puss! 958 01:14:05.639 --> 01:14:07.129 And Donkey! 959 01:14:07.341 --> 01:14:08.399 D 960 01:14:19.420 --> 01:14:20.682 Hi, honey. 961 01:14:20.821 --> 01:14:23.847 Sorry we're late. You okay? 962 01:14:23.991 --> 01:14:26.323 Much better, now that you're here. 963 01:14:28.996 --> 01:14:34.195 So, Oharming, you want to let me out of these so we can settle this ogre-to-man? 964 01:14:34.335 --> 01:14:38.669 Ooh, that sounds fun. But I have a better idea. 965 01:14:54.522 --> 01:14:56.922 No! Let go of me! 966 01:14:57.057 --> 01:15:01.187 You will not ruin things this time, ogre. Kill it. 967 01:15:05.032 --> 01:15:06.795 Everybody, stop! 968 01:15:08.636 --> 01:15:10.729 Oh, what is it now?! 969 01:15:10.871 --> 01:15:12.133 Artie? 970 01:15:21.816 --> 01:15:24.284 Who thinks we need to settle things this way? 971 01:15:28.556 --> 01:15:32.253 You mean you want to be villains your whole lives? 972 01:15:32.393 --> 01:15:36.193 But we are villains! It's the only thing we know. 973 01:15:36.330 --> 01:15:38.764 You never wish you could be something else? 974 01:15:38.899 --> 01:15:42.357 Easy for you to say. You're not some evil enchanted tree. 975 01:15:42.503 --> 01:15:45.267 You morons! Don't listen to him! Attack! 976 01:15:45.406 --> 01:15:48.204 What Steve means is it's hard to come by honest work 977 01:15:48.342 --> 01:15:50.367 when the whole world's against you. 978 01:15:50.511 --> 01:15:52.240 Right. Thanks, Ed. 979 01:15:52.379 --> 01:15:56.782 Fair enough. You're right. I'm not a talking tree. 980 01:15:56.917 --> 01:15:58.009 But you know... 981 01:15:58.152 --> 01:16:01.280 ...a good friend once told me... 982 01:16:01.422 --> 01:16:06.450 ...just because people treat you like a villain, or an ogre... 983 01:16:06.594 --> 01:16:08.585 ...orjust some loser... 984 01:16:10.097 --> 01:16:11.997 ...doesn't mean you are one. 985 01:16:14.869 --> 01:16:18.737 What matters most is what you think of yourself. 986 01:16:18.873 --> 01:16:23.173 If there's something you really want, or someone you want to be... 987 01:16:23.310 --> 01:16:26.939 ...the only person standing in your way is you. 988 01:16:27.448 --> 01:16:29.211 - Me? - Get him! 989 01:16:29.350 --> 01:16:30.749 No, no, no! 990 01:16:30.885 --> 01:16:33.820 What I mean is each of you... 991 01:16:33.954 --> 01:16:36.218 ...is standing in your own way. 992 01:16:40.127 --> 01:16:42.618 I always wanted to play the flute. 993 01:16:42.763 --> 01:16:46.426 I'd like to open up a spa... in France! 994 01:16:46.567 --> 01:16:51.129 I grow daffodils. And they're beautiful. 995 01:17:39.853 --> 01:17:43.016 A new era finally begins! 996 01:17:44.858 --> 01:17:46.519 Now all of you... 997 01:17:47.361 --> 01:17:49.761 ...bow before your King! 998 01:17:56.203 --> 01:17:58.535 You need to work on your aim. 999 01:18:00.874 --> 01:18:03.741 This was supposed to be my happily ever after! 1000 01:18:03.877 --> 01:18:06.368 Well, you need to keep looking... 1001 01:18:08.382 --> 01:18:10.441 ...because I'm not giving up mine. 1002 01:18:15.723 --> 01:18:16.883 Mommy? 1003 01:18:28.235 --> 01:18:30.396 It's yours if you want it. 1004 01:18:31.071 --> 01:18:33.403 But this time it's your choice. 1005 01:18:56.096 --> 01:18:57.120 Author! 1006 01:18:57.264 --> 01:19:00.597 Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie! 1007 01:19:04.938 --> 01:19:07.930 Excuse me. That's my seat. 1008 01:19:08.942 --> 01:19:13.709 Okay, Señor Hocusy-Pocusy, the time has come to rectify some wrongs! 1009 01:19:13.847 --> 01:19:16.372 Though I have been enjoying these cat baths. 1010 01:19:16.517 --> 01:19:18.007 Please say you didn't . 1011 01:19:18.152 --> 01:19:20.052 All right! Look. 1012 01:19:20.187 --> 01:19:23.486 You'll feel a pinch and possibly lower intestinal discomfort... 1013 01:19:23.624 --> 01:19:25.956 ...but this should do the trick. 1014 01:19:30.197 --> 01:19:32.665 - Are you...? - I'm me again! 1015 01:19:32.800 --> 01:19:35.064 - And I am not you! - All right! 1016 01:19:36.637 --> 01:19:37.797 Oops. 1017 01:19:39.807 --> 01:19:41.206 Ah, never mind. 1018 01:19:45.212 --> 01:19:49.273 What did I tell you? The kid's going to be a great king. 1019 01:19:49.416 --> 01:19:52.977 Well, for what it's worth, you would have, too. 1020 01:19:54.488 --> 01:19:57.480 I have something much more important in mind. 1021 01:20:23.016 --> 01:20:24.244 Finally. 1022 01:20:31.024 --> 01:20:32.355 Dada. 1023 01:20:34.461 --> 01:20:38.830 Was I wrong about the world? It's a beautiful new place 1024 01:20:38.966 --> 01:20:41.457 I smell Shrek Junior! 1025 01:20:41.602 --> 01:20:44.264 Where else could a creep like me 1026 01:20:44.404 --> 01:20:47.134 Meet such a pretty face 1027 01:20:47.274 --> 01:20:51.210 Meeting every day with the rising sun 1028 01:20:54.014 --> 01:20:56.915 Looking up, it's looking like 1029 01:20:57.050 --> 01:20:59.712 My losing streak is done 1030 01:21:00.621 --> 01:21:01.918 Peek-a-boo! 1031 01:21:02.055 --> 01:21:03.386 Peek-a-boo! 1032 01:21:06.593 --> 01:21:08.424 A bouncy, bouncy, boy! 1033 01:21:08.562 --> 01:21:11.258 Used to always feel like 1034 01:21:11.398 --> 01:21:14.060 Wished that I was dressed better 1035 01:21:15.068 --> 01:21:16.729 Where's the baby? 1036 01:21:16.870 --> 01:21:21.239 Never had a lot of luck Until I finally met her 1037 01:21:30.751 --> 01:21:34.744 Meeting every day with the rising sun 1038 01:21:37.424 --> 01:21:39.585 Looking up, it's looking like 1039 01:21:40.260 --> 01:21:43.093 My losing streak is done 1040 01:21:45.265 --> 01:21:47.597 My losing streak is done 1041 01:21:58.445 --> 01:22:01.107 Well... what shall we do now? 1042 01:22:17.130 --> 01:22:18.791 I got it. 1043 01:22:25.305 --> 01:22:29.674 Puss and Donkey, baby! Once again, come on! 1044 01:22:29.810 --> 01:22:34.440 I want to thank you for letting me be myself 1045 01:22:34.581 --> 01:22:35.673 Again! 1046 01:22:35.816 --> 01:22:37.681 Look at my hips! 1047 01:22:37.818 --> 01:22:43.017 I want to thank you for letting me be myself 1048 01:22:43.156 --> 01:22:44.646 Again! 1049 01:22:49.930 --> 01:22:51.454 - Break it down! - Let's go! 1050 01:22:51.598 --> 01:22:53.998 Stiff all in the collar 1051 01:22:55.836 --> 01:22:57.997 Fluffy in the face 1052 01:23:00.173 --> 01:23:02.664 Chit chat chatter trying 1053 01:23:04.011 --> 01:23:06.172 Stuffy in the place 1054 01:23:08.348 --> 01:23:11.181 Thank you for the par-tay 1055 01:23:12.352 --> 01:23:14.217 But I could never stay 1056 01:23:14.354 --> 01:23:15.685 I'm sorry. 1057 01:23:16.356 --> 01:23:19.348 I got many things on my mind 1058 01:23:20.694 --> 01:23:22.855 But the word's in the way 1059 01:23:23.864 --> 01:23:29.063 And I want to thank you for letting me be myself 1060 01:23:29.202 --> 01:23:30.533 Again 1061 01:23:31.538 --> 01:23:33.506 Different strokes for different folks 1062 01:23:33.640 --> 01:23:37.235 Thank you for letting me be myself 1063 01:23:37.377 --> 01:23:38.867 Again 1064 01:23:41.048 --> 01:23:42.538 Break it down! 1065 01:23:43.550 --> 01:23:46.713 Puss and Donkey, baby! Puss and Donkey, baby! 1066 01:23:47.220 --> 01:23:48.881 Puss and Donkey, baby! 1067 01:23:50.223 --> 01:23:52.384 Dance to the music 1068 01:23:54.227 --> 01:23:56.559 All night long 1069 01:23:58.565 --> 01:24:00.897 Everyday people 1070 01:24:02.569 --> 01:24:04.730 Sing a simple song 1071 01:24:06.740 --> 01:24:09.231 Mama's so happy 1072 01:24:11.078 --> 01:24:13.069 Mama start to cry 1073 01:24:15.248 --> 01:24:17.739 Papa's still singing 1074 01:24:18.919 --> 01:24:22.411 You can make it if you try So try! 1075 01:24:23.590 --> 01:24:27.458 Thank you for letting me be myself 1076 01:24:27.594 --> 01:24:28.925 Again 1077 01:24:31.932 --> 01:24:35.800 Thank you for letting me be myself 1078 01:24:35.936 --> 01:24:37.631 Again 1079 01:24:37.771 --> 01:24:40.638 Oome on, Donkey. Do something right! 1080 01:24:40.774 --> 01:24:43.174 Put the hoofs together! Put the hoofs together! 1081 01:24:44.277 --> 01:24:48.475 Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! 1082 01:24:48.615 --> 01:24:52.483 Thank you for letting me be myself 1083 01:24:52.619 --> 01:24:54.109 Again 1084 01:24:56.289 --> 01:25:00.817 I want to thank you for letting me be myself 1085 01:25:00.961 --> 01:25:02.053 Again 1086 01:25:02.195 --> 01:25:05.164 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 1087 01:25:05.298 --> 01:25:08.495 Want to thank you Just to be my 1088 01:25:08.635 --> 01:25:11.502 Because I just want to be my... See? 1089 01:25:11.638 --> 01:25:14.334 Can I, can I thank you! Can I 1090 01:25:14.474 --> 01:25:16.305 Yes! Yes!