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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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{\an8}‪NETFLIX 原创喜剧特辑

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{\an8}‪（所有人员及观众
‪事前新冠检验结果皆为阴性）

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{\an8}‪（录影现场亦落实各项防疫措施）

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{\an8}‪察言观色大师 赞

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‪（《李寿根：察言观色大师》）

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‪我从来没有这种感觉

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{\an8}‪上场了 察言观色大师

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‪（李寿根）

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‪唉唷

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‪本来听说这个钓鱼场很安静

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‪没想到还有掌声

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‪所以这里其实挺吵的啊

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‪我看看啊

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‪水很清澈耶

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‪里面的鱼看起来也都不错

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‪但感觉不太活跃

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‪都一直待在位置上不动
‪是因为天气还没变暖吗？

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‪我来看一下 听说鱼喜欢这种饵

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‪应该会上钩吧 就用它了

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‪这是我特地花68万韩元买的

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‪来看看哪只鱼会上钩吧

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‪这里有鱼 来了 对 来…

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‪有反应了

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‪上钩了 有鱼上钩耶

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‪天啊 就是这个

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‪等等喔

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‪来了！

30
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‪上钩了！天啊！

31
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‪可恶 饵被咬走了

32
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‪他怎么有办法只把饵咬走啊？

33
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‪我想他应该知道待会要还回来

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‪等等 我看一下

35
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‪今天钓到哪些鱼 我钓了这么多啊？

36
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‪还生龙活虎的耶 这是什么？

37
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‪唉唷 鲈鱼 天啊

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‪还活蹦乱跳的 这又是什么？

39
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‪这边是淡水 竟然钓得到鲨鱼

40
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‪比目鱼、鲑鱼、鲈鱼

41
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‪这什么？什么鬼？

42
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‪居然还钓到英语

43
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‪还有这个？连Super Junior都钓到了

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‪Super Junior耶

45
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‪原来你们喜欢这种笑点
‪这又是什么？

46
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‪我没钓过这种东西耶 这什么啊？

47
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‪这样戴就行了吗？

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‪试音

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‪节奏下

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‪嘿！呵！

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‪金浓密！

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‪（金浓密）

53
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‪-大家好！
‪-大家好！

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‪-察言观色大师
‪-察言观色大师

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{\an8}‪-察言观色大师来训练你的反应力
‪-察言观色大师来训练你的反应力

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{\an8}‪-闭嘴 向左右看齐
‪-闭嘴 向左右看齐

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‪-察言观色大师
‪-察言观色大师

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{\an8}‪我是教练 我来教你练练观察力

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{\an8}‪把我20年炉火纯青的功力教给你

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{\an8}‪所有人目瞪口呆 为之震惊

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{\an8}‪我试试嘻哈 其他饶舌歌手嗤之以鼻

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{\an8}‪拜寿根哥所赐 让我有幸登上Netflix

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{\an8}‪有国外粉丝的翻译 我成了韩国之光

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{\an8}‪李教授开课了
‪好好学习他的人生智慧

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{\an8}‪我和我的榜样梦想都已实现

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{\an8}‪大哥 我该怎么做才好？

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‪老弟 你听清楚了

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‪大哥 你快教教我吧

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‪-“大家好” 先问好再说
‪-先问好再说

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‪-察言观色大师
‪-察言观色大师

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{\an8}‪-察言观色大师来训练你的反应力
‪-察言观色大师来训练你的反应力

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{\an8}‪-闭嘴 向左右看齐
‪-闭嘴 向左右看齐

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‪-察言观色大师
‪-察言观色大师

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‪欢迎金浓密！

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‪说“呵”

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‪-呵
‪-呵

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‪说“霍霍”

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‪-霍霍
‪-霍霍

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‪我说“察言观色” 你们说“大师”

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‪-察言观色！
‪-大师！

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‪各位 现在疫情当前

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‪我们饶舌歌手浓密为了当我的嘉宾

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‪他还去做了新冠肺炎的采检

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‪鼻子真的超痛的

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‪谢谢他来到这里 掌声鼓励

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‪-谢谢大家 我是金浓密
‪-金浓密！

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‪有朝一日你一定可以到欧洲巡演

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‪Netflix 等我！

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‪190个国家的观众都在看着你

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‪谢谢这么多人的观看

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‪言归正传 接下来

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‪《李寿根：察言观色大师》正式开始

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‪设置舞台！

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‪来吧 舞台！

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{\an8}‪（正在变身为察言观色大师）

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{\an8}‪（有人不知道这时候要拍手吗？）

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‪大家好 很高兴看到你们来

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‪-你好
‪-你好

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‪好 我是李寿根

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‪Netflix是一家跨国性的企业
‪他们给的经费挺充足的

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‪所以我就好好治装了一番

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‪全套的金色运动服

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‪18K金的

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‪还有项链

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‪这上面写了什么？好像是借来的

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‪总之就是在炫富

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‪还有金色的哨子 有哨子才像教练

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‪不错 很棒吧？

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‪好 再来…这什么？这要收掉吧

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‪你们明知道今天的节目名称
‪反应还这么慢

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‪快点来收走吧 不能放在这啊

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‪你在干吗？

113
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‪你是谁？

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‪-唉唷
‪-你是谁？

115
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‪-各位 是朴圣光
‪-唉唷 大家好

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‪（朴圣光）

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‪连幕后工作人员都是重金礼聘

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‪-由艺人来担任工作人员
‪-等等

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‪你为什么戴了麦克风？

120
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‪-我？你不是要跟我一起表演吗？
‪-我看到你还挺惊喜的

121
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‪-你很惊喜吗？
‪-不过你刚刚一上台莫名其妙跌倒

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‪我就知道你应该是谐星了

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‪他们说我要赶快出来拿水桶

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‪-但身为谐星 我应该做点效果
‪-做得好

125
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‪不然下一场喜剧表演就换你来试试

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‪-我吗？
‪-对

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‪这样大家可能会以为
‪韩国的喜剧演员都很矮耶

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‪-因为我们两个都不高
‪-那…

129
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‪中间先找高一点的人
‪然后再换我比较好吧

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‪那可能就不叫单口喜剧

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‪-而是“短口”喜剧了
‪-没错 都是矮子

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‪大家都不知道我们站着
‪因为站着跟坐着一样高

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‪没错 所以会变成“短口”喜剧

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‪-好的
‪-总之真的很谢谢你

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‪-谢谢你啊 圣光
‪-谢谢

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‪-大家一起享受今天的演出吧！
‪-你好好休息吧

137
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‪-再见了
‪-好

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‪还要把水桶跟帽子带走

139
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‪这样根本就是《搞笑演唱会》啊

140
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‪-不好意思
‪-这样会吓到欧洲人

141
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‪-对喔 这边比较高规格
‪-这是单口喜剧

142
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‪-这是高级的单口喜剧
‪-对 是单口喜剧

143
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‪-你先回座吧
‪-好

144
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‪-放轻松观赏演出
‪-我回去了 我会的

145
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‪谢谢圣光跟浓密

146
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‪通常单口喜剧的现场会有很多观众

147
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‪谢谢你们为了来看我演出
‪还去做了新冠肺炎的采检

148
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:24,510
‪-今天座位很舒适吧？
‪-对

149
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‪那你们的笑声应该不会太热烈

150
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‪最近我录了很多节目

151
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‪我现在很喜欢钓鱼

152
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‪我在录《都市渔夫》的时候
‪就一边录一边学怎么钓鱼

153
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,089
‪其实钓鱼没什么特别的技巧

154
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‪只要懂得观察就好了

155
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:40,059
‪如果发现鱼可能上钩了

156
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,128
‪只要适时察觉 然后提竿就好

157
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:45,298
‪如果隔壁的敬揆前辈抱怨说
‪“怎么都只有你钓到鱼？”

158
00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:46,466
‪那只要先停手就好

159
00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:48,067
‪这样他就不会说什么了

160
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,470
‪他会安静下来 钓鱼就是要见机行事

161
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{\an8}‪各位听过一种叫竹篙头的鱼吗？

162
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{\an8}‪没听过吧？韩文刚好和察言观色同音

163
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,045
{\an8}‪出现了 这边设备很棒吧？

164
00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:00,780
‪只有在国内的单口喜剧看得到

165
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:02,114
‪这就是竹篙头

166
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‪是唇䱻的俗名

167
00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:05,852
‪去淡水域钓鱼经常钓到它

168
00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:07,353
‪它力气超级大

169
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‪这种鱼超级麻烦

170
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‪它的鱼刺超多 而且腥味还很重

171
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:16,829
‪手一旦碰过 味道很难洗掉

172
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:19,232
‪每次钓到这种鱼 大家都会骂声连连

173
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:21,133
‪久而久之它也懂得看脸色了

174
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,869
‪本来鱼都是嘴巴开开合合

175
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:24,837
‪但它是这样看着你

176
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:25,872
‪这就是竹篙头

177
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:27,740
‪我为什么会提到这个？

178
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:30,142
‪因为看到竹篙头就像看到我自己

179
00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:32,345
‪不过这不代表我身上有很多刺

180
00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:34,714
‪或是有体味、很不受欢迎

181
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‪我现在40几岁

182
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‪我觉得我有一大半的人生
‪都在看人脸色过日子

183
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,256
‪你们觉得我最常看谁脸色？

184
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‪-姜镐童
‪-姜镐童

185
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,393
‪你们马上就猜对了耶

186
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:50,029
‪感觉大家都知道

187
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‪这是姜镐童

188
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‪我只是只竹篙头

189
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‪但姜镐童是身长超过一米
‪十分吓人的黄尾鰤

190
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‪非常巨大

191
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,375
‪钓到这种鱼 要拉上来的时候

192
00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:04,877
‪它给人的感觉
‪仿佛在大喊：“放开我！”

193
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,613
‪它真的巨大到好像听得见它的挣扎

194
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:11,984
‪前阵子我钓到一只
‪超过一米的黄尾鰤

195
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,320
‪非常大一只 对 这就是我钓到的

196
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,822
‪是在圣诞节特辑那集

197
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,659
‪我费了九牛二虎之力才把它拉上岸

198
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,694
‪姜镐童就是演艺圈的黄尾鰤

199
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:23,930
‪而且还不只是普通的黄尾鰤

200
00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:25,831
‪是破坏型黄尾鰤

201
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:29,402
‪他的力气跟威力太惊人了

202
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:31,771
‪我是在《两天一夜》
‪这个节目认识他的

203
00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:33,372
‪-两天！
‪-一夜！

204
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:34,807
‪一夜！

205
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:36,842
‪你们回答“两天”的英文就行了

206
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:40,012
‪不过这样大家就知道
‪这是在韩国录的节目了

207
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,149
‪你们应该都知道成员有谁

208
00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:46,085
‪阵容非常华丽 各个都是知名艺人

209
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:49,088
‪我们录《两天一夜》
‪会常常睡在室外嘛

210
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,257
‪要不就是帐篷 要不就是露天

211
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:54,260
‪后来我实在太厌倦野外生活
‪觉得应该做点别的事

212
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,162
‪所以也曾在家里闭门思过

213
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,764
‪比餐风露宿好多了

214
00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:01,334
‪朴圣光也在鼓掌

215
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,835
‪我曾在家闭门思过

216
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:05,104
‪那个节目刚开始

217
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:06,772
‪真的很辛苦

218
00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:10,209
{\an8}‪本来我只录过《搞笑演唱会》
‪那种写好脚本的节目

219
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,245
{\an8}‪突然上那种综艺节目
‪我真的很手足无措

220
00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:14,614
‪开始录影的时候

221
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,983
‪我根本不敢看镜头

222
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,385
‪只是一味地盯着黄尾鰤看

223
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,654
‪我就这样不知所措地看着镐童哥

224
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:23,289
‪完全不知道该怎么办

225
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,791
‪后来我觉得这样不行
‪得先做好被分配的事

226
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,393
‪别太急着想要搞笑

227
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,961
‪先做好他们交代我的事就好

228
00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:30,463
‪所以我决定要认真

229
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:33,165
‪后来我终于

230
00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:36,335
‪得到黄尾鰤姜镐童的称赞了

231
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,603
‪因为我开车技术好

232
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:39,905
‪有些人知道吧

233
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:43,242
‪他说：“我都没感觉到你踩刹车
‪车什么时候停下来的？

234
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,711
‪车子左转 我怎么一点感觉都没有？

235
00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:48,147
‪我们明明从家里出发
‪怎么这么快就到江原道了？”

236
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,282
‪当时我用来跑通告的车

237
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,785
‪很多艺人都用这个车款
‪是起亚的嘉华

238
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,854
‪为了有嘉年华的感觉

239
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,522
‪我大概换了六台吧

240
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:59,225
‪那时候他们会在我车上架摄影机

241
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:01,260
‪通通都是贴胶带固定

242
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:04,463
‪现在设备比较先进了
‪可以直接单点固定

243
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:07,099
‪但以前只能贴一堆胶带

244
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,069
‪胶带撕下来的残胶还去不掉

245
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:11,904
‪有一次我太累 在车上睡着

246
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:15,107
‪等到抵达下一个通告地点
‪有人叫我下车时

247
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:18,344
‪我才发现手被胶带的残胶黏住了

248
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,746
‪感情不好的夫妻
‪要是用这种胶带黏在一起

249
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:24,984
‪一定可以变得相亲相爱、琴瑟和鸣

250
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:27,186
‪这种强力胶带真的很厉害

251
00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:28,954
‪但毕竟我也是人嘛

252
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,923
‪开车开久了也会累

253
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:33,159
‪有一次我真的开了很久的车

254
00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:34,827
‪但车上的其他人…

255
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:37,596
‪车上为什么要架摄影机？
‪就是希望他们跟我聊天嘛

256
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:40,566
‪结果所有人睡到嘴巴大开、东倒西歪

257
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:43,669
‪殷志源的头还一直撞到车窗
‪醒了之后又继续撞

258
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:44,870
‪但他还是继续睡

259
00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:47,506
‪然后镐童哥就在副驾一直打呼

260
00:11:47,573 --> 00:11:49,575
‪我火气就上来了
‪没有半个人要跟我讲话

261
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:53,746
‪我心里就想：“他们真的把我
‪当司机吗？我在这个团队算什么？”

262
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:55,981
‪车子行经东江时的景色很美

263
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:59,652
‪但是必须非常小心行驶
‪因为旁边就是陡峭的悬崖

264
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,088
‪那时我突然有个想法
‪“我要不要直接开下悬崖？

265
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,390
‪顺势成为主要主持人

266
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:08,060
‪我就凑个自己喜欢的六人阵容
‪接管《两天一夜》”

267
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:09,695
‪就在我这么想的时候

268
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,130
‪我看到驾驶座后方

269
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:12,898
‪昇基

270
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,102
‪双手摆得好好的

271
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:18,437
‪睡着也不会打呼

272
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:21,207
‪我就觉得为了他 我不能这么残忍

273
00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:24,310
‪还有一点 就是我看着镐童哥时想到

274
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:27,813
‪即便我们真的掉下悬崖
‪他的头已经等于一顶安全帽

275
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,648
‪如果他活下来了…

276
00:12:29,715 --> 00:12:32,251
‪他没事的话 大家都知道会怎么样吧

277
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:35,888
‪未来的日子我可能会更生不如死

278
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:39,625
‪所以我就打消了那个不好的念头

279
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:42,595
‪重新变回笑容满面的样子

280
00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:45,464
‪我那段时间真的太常开车

281
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,467
‪开到很厌烦
‪一直到现在我都还是尽量不开车

282
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:49,702
‪如果去到很远的地方

283
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:53,072
‪就算我没喝酒 也会叫代驾
‪一直请代驾开车

284
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,040
‪后来因为太常叫代驾

285
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:56,942
‪我甚至变成代言人
‪广告歌都听过吧？

286
00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:58,844
‪一 二 三 四

287
00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:00,479
‪前后一样的…

288
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:01,580
‪-电话号码
‪-电话号码

289
00:13:01,647 --> 00:13:02,815
‪这件事就是这样来的

290
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:05,818
‪做人要表里如一 对吧？

291
00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:09,088
‪姜镐童这个人呢

292
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,357
‪如果有人入了他的眼

293
00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:13,592
‪他就有本事让这个人声名大噪

294
00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:15,895
‪比如他以前会大喊：“昇基！”
‪你们记得吧？

295
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:17,696
‪那时候我可能也引起了他的注意

296
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:20,132
‪我们第一次开机那天 要录开场

297
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,801
‪他就请大家一一自我介绍

298
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,469
‪“大家好 我是殷志源”

299
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,504
‪轮到昇基 他就提他的歌词
‪“因为姐姐是我的女人”

300
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:29,041
‪虽然没有人知道这个姐姐存不存在
‪反正就是做效果嘛

301
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:31,610
‪接着轮到我的时候

302
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:33,646
‪镐童哥就突然说：“各位

303
00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:35,648
‪接下来是这个时代最厉害的谐星

304
00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:40,386
‪他光是自我介绍就能
‪立刻引起哄堂大笑

305
00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:43,556
‪拥有非常优秀的搞笑实力

306
00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:45,524
‪现在轮到他自我介绍了

307
00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:49,028
‪各位 请你们拭目以待吧！”

308
00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:51,697
‪他这样根本是在挖坑给我跳

309
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:54,099
‪你们懂我的意思吧？那时候

310
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,302
‪我背后狂冒冷汗

311
00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:58,003
‪我到现在都还会做恶梦

312
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,906
‪可是你们知道吗？
‪我真的做到了用这个问好逗笑大家

313
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:04,443
‪“各位观众朋友 大家好喔”

314
00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:07,713
‪这句话大家应该有印象
‪后来还拍了广告

315
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:10,616
‪那时候我经常看姜镐童脸色的

316
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,318
‪不过现在

317
00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:14,587
‪其实镐童哥也会顾虑我的感受了

318
00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:16,455
‪“寿根 你把手放在脸上

319
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,524
‪我要打你巴掌 你做个样子”

320
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,492
‪等他打过来 我就假装被打

321
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,761
‪如果是以前 他叫完我名字
‪就会直接打了

322
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,932
‪他现在比较小心 这样你们懂吧？

323
00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:29,702
‪我能逐渐找到自己的定位

324
00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:32,972
‪让我们互动产生这样的变化
‪可以说是多亏了姜镐童前辈

325
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:36,141
‪另外还有个关键性的原因
‪可能有人还记得

326
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:37,843
‪我们录《两天一夜》的时候

327
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:41,513
‪有一次是大家一起上山出游搞团建
‪还准备了茶点

328
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,148
‪然后有人带了柿子

329
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,884
‪本来可以直接吃就好

330
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:46,652
‪但镐童哥突然就发问了

331
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:50,055
‪“你们知道柿子的英文是什么吗？”

332
00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:52,524
‪假设当时昇基知道答案
‪这个话题就结束了

333
00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:53,859
‪也不会有笑点

334
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,961
‪但昇基也想不出来

335
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:57,363
‪没有人知道答案是什么

336
00:14:57,429 --> 00:15:00,366
‪于是这时候我就觉得
‪应该把握机会搞笑一下

337
00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:02,201
‪我就说：“你们都不知道吗？

338
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:04,370
‪开头是咬舌音

339
00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:07,907
‪‘涩’”

340
00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:10,442
‪我一说完 所有人笑翻

341
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:11,744
‪这戳到镐童哥的笑点

342
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:13,579
‪他说：“那橘子呢？”

343
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,014
‪“橘子？‘酸’”

344
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,383
‪“酸”啊 很完美吧？

345
00:15:17,449 --> 00:15:19,418
‪但其实回答橘子的时候我有点犹豫

346
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:23,055
‪不知道“酸”和“济州”哪个比较好

347
00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:24,089
‪很难抉择

348
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:25,858
‪所有水果的英文都难不倒我

349
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,459
‪你们知道西瓜的英文吗？

350
00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:29,061
‪一个音节就够了 “呸”

351
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:31,764
‪还有什么水果？

352
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:32,765
‪-什么？
‪-香蕉

353
00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:34,166
‪韩文的香蕉已经是外来语了

354
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:38,470
‪那已经是英文了

355
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:40,940
‪香瓜？唉唷

356
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,474
‪香瓜英文有点长喔

357
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,610
‪“大号时会有籽”

358
00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:49,148
‪“大号时会有籽”
‪这就是香瓜的英文

359
00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:51,016
‪不要假装听不懂

360
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:54,219
‪虽然我经常看镐童哥的脸色

361
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:58,357
‪但最近继镐童哥之后

362
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:01,894
‪出现了第二个让我不敢得罪的人物

363
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,195
‪那就是…

364
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:06,932
‪这个人

365
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,101
‪他就是身上带有剧毒

366
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:10,869
‪总是在生气

367
00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:12,304
‪脸颊鼓胀

368
00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:14,440
‪随时可以发动毒舌攻击的

369
00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:16,508
‪李敬揆前辈

370
00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:18,110
‪不久前我遇到他

371
00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:22,715
‪我说：“前辈 最近Netflix
‪找我办一场单口喜剧

372
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:25,384
‪节目名称叫《察言观色大师》”

373
00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:28,587
‪他马上回我：“什么？
‪什么《察言观色大师》？”

374
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,923
‪明明可以好好讲 他一定要用吼的

375
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,727
‪然后我就问他能不能用河鲀代表他

376
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:37,629
‪他说：“不对 我不是普通河鲀
‪我是黄鳍多纪鲀！

377
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,265
‪黄鳍多纪鲀多好吃啊

378
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,234
‪但如果毒没清干净 吃了就会没命”

379
00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:46,405
‪对他好的人 他一定是掏心掏肺

380
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:49,241
‪但如果得罪他 他掏的就是剧毒了

381
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,610
‪他常常会皱着眉头

382
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,978
‪代表他准备发动攻击

383
00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:54,880
‪就像贴着胶带一样

384
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,615
{\an8}‪我们去钓鱼的时候

385
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,385
{\an8}‪什么事都能惹他生气

386
00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:01,186
{\an8}‪天气太好也要生气

387
00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:02,621
‪下雨也要生气

388
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,823
‪钓不到鱼就怪船长

389
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:06,025
‪“为什么要挑今天？”

390
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:07,793
‪鱼竿有动静 他就叫我们闭嘴

391
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:08,961
‪如果钓到很多鱼

392
00:17:09,027 --> 00:17:10,763
‪他还会抱怨手酸

393
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:14,400
‪但有时候敬揆前辈
‪在船上待久了 他也会累

394
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:17,636
‪他累了就会开玩笑
‪这时候就要懂得察言观色

395
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:22,207
‪必须知道他是在开玩笑
‪还是认真地在提问

396
00:17:22,274 --> 00:17:24,443
‪我毕竟是长时间跟他相处的人

397
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,478
‪所以我一看就知道他是不是在开玩笑

398
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,313
‪如果他在钓鱼的时候

399
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:31,583
‪突然跟我说：“你看什么？”

400
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:34,653
‪我就要马上反应
‪所以我就回他：“我在看敬揆”

401
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:37,189
‪他如果说：“你谁啊？”
‪我就回：“敬揆的后辈”

402
00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:39,792
‪“看看你这臭小子”
‪“那就看好了 臭小子

403
00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:41,693
‪你看啊 臭小子”
‪这样他就会被我逗笑

404
00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:45,631
‪他会很高兴我陪他玩

405
00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:47,533
‪但有些人不懂得察言观色

406
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:51,270
‪敬揆前辈开玩笑的时候语气会比较重

407
00:17:51,336 --> 00:17:53,205
‪“你看什么？” 这样就是在开玩笑

408
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:55,307
‪但有时候他会比较严肃

409
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,042
‪“你看什么？” 就像这样

410
00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:59,445
‪这种语气就代表他真的心情不好

411
00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:02,448
‪这时候他的意思
‪就是叫你别开玩笑、不要看他

412
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:04,516
‪但有的成员就不会分辨

413
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,185
‪我就不说是谁了

414
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,120
‪敬揆前辈说：“你看什么？”

415
00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:09,388
‪他就会说：“你说呢？

416
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:13,158
‪我在用眼角膜扫描你的样子
‪认真看看你

417
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:16,762
‪你为什么要用那张嘴找我碴？”

418
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:17,663
‪就有人会这样

419
00:18:17,729 --> 00:18:21,033
‪-池相烈
‪-被猜到了 就是池相烈

420
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:24,703
‪然后敬揆前辈就会说：“你搞什么？

421
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,138
‪这又不能播

422
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:28,240
‪你神经病啊？” 大家都懂吧？

423
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:30,242
‪所以要懂得察言观色

424
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,945
‪我现在在搞笑界
‪也算是前辈级的人物了

425
00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:36,215
‪可是平常在节目上
‪我经常跟镐童哥或敬揆前辈一起出现

426
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:38,784
‪很多人会觉得我年纪比较轻

427
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,719
‪但其实我已经算资深了

428
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:41,920
‪去录影的时候

429
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:46,325
{\an8}‪我除了怕得罪前辈
‪跟后辈互动也会很小心

430
00:18:46,391 --> 00:18:49,128
{\an8}‪我经常在节目上遇到偶像团体

431
00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:52,898
‪去电视台上班的时候
‪我通常都会穿自己的便服

432
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,434
‪但看到他们年轻人穿些奇怪的便服…

433
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:57,069
‪在我眼里很奇怪啦

434
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,370
‪是我无法理解的服装

435
00:18:58,437 --> 00:19:02,074
‪他们穿的都是名牌 但我就是看不懂

436
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,108
‪你们觉得我在说谁？

437
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,345
‪宋旻浩 MINO

438
00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:07,779
‪他的服装很花哨

439
00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:09,915
‪十几二十岁的人很喜欢他们

440
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,517
‪但我不懂

441
00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,285
‪我不懂他们的打扮 虽然都是名牌

442
00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:15,053
‪所以我初次见MINO时这样跟他打招呼

443
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,822
‪“嗨！当当

444
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:17,890
‪当当 你好吗？”

445
00:19:17,956 --> 00:19:19,892
‪他说：“哥 什么是‘当当’？”

446
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:21,426
‪我说：“叮叮当当”

447
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,362
‪因为他戴了很多金属饰品

448
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:27,199
‪那位观众笑得这么开心
‪应该是MINO的粉丝

449
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:31,003
‪可能我有个刻板印象
‪觉得既然是个不分年龄层的节目

450
00:19:31,069 --> 00:19:33,338
‪我们的服仪应该要简单利落一点

451
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:36,842
‪所以我说：“你这什么风格啊？”
‪他就回我：“怎样？这我的风格啊”

452
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:41,380
‪那是我回应敬揆前辈的方式
‪现在换他那样回应我了

453
00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:43,482
‪我突然间有所领悟

454
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:46,451
‪其实他们有自己的风格

455
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:50,088
‪与其去批评他们 不如给予认可就好

456
00:19:50,155 --> 00:19:53,058
‪跟现在比起来 以前的节目

457
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:55,327
{\an8}‪更需要察言观色的能力

458
00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:57,996
{\an8}‪比如说要录隐藏摄影机的企划

459
00:19:58,063 --> 00:19:59,731
‪摄影机位置超明显

460
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,334
‪然后就接到电话

461
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:04,803
‪“可以借我四千万韩元急用吗？”

462
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,471
‪但因为我们知道摄影机在拍

463
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,774
‪就要回答：“你怎么了？
‪好 快把账号告诉我吧”

464
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,009
‪但哪有人会突然这样？
‪我们都心知肚明

465
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:13,512
‪却还要在那边装傻
‪这种企划以前经常见

466
00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:15,547
‪以前最尴尬的是

467
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:18,116
‪电视台经常会请催眠师上节目

468
00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:20,152
‪笑出来的人应该都记得

469
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,222
‪那时候我和其他几名谐星
‪一起在等候室等

470
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:24,656
‪主制作人就走进来了

471
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:27,559
‪跟我们说：“这个催眠师
‪真的很厉害 你们一定会被吓到

472
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:32,130
‪我们事前请十位工作人员接受测试
‪结果他们通通被催眠了

473
00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:34,166
‪有人见到过世的妈妈 泪流满面

474
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,635
‪甚至还有人说什么自己上辈子是公主

475
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,403
‪十个人都被催眠了”

476
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:39,638
‪他为什么要跟我们说这些？

477
00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:42,541
‪-要你们配合演出
‪-他就是希望我们

478
00:20:43,508 --> 00:20:45,644
‪能够尽量配合演出

479
00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:47,579
‪只是很拐弯抹角

480
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:49,982
‪我会察言观色
‪所以我已经知道他的意思了

481
00:20:50,048 --> 00:20:51,283
‪接着我就进去录影

482
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:53,885
‪“请你看着这颗水晶球

483
00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:58,991
‪好 待会你一听到我说‘红太阳’
‪就会陷入沉睡

484
00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:00,659
‪红太阳”

485
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:02,961
‪通常睡着就是这个样子嘛

486
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,696
‪但我想说反应要做足

487
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,231
‪所以催眠师一说：“红太阳”

488
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:10,335
‪我就让头掉下来了
‪这就是谐星的特征

489
00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:13,005
‪因为我一直想到制作人的脸

490
00:21:13,071 --> 00:21:14,473
‪一心想着要好好表现

491
00:21:14,539 --> 00:21:16,908
‪不停思考：“他会问什么问题？

492
00:21:16,975 --> 00:21:18,110
‪我要怎么回答？”

493
00:21:18,176 --> 00:21:20,379
‪我满脑子都是这些

494
00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:21,913
‪然后催眠师就问我

495
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:25,017
‪“寿根 你现在人在哪里？”

496
00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:26,385
‪“你旁边

497
00:21:26,818 --> 00:21:28,186
‪我就在你旁边啊”

498
00:21:28,253 --> 00:21:29,354
‪“那你旁边有谁呢？”

499
00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:31,590
‪“还有谁？不就你吗？
‪这里只有我们两个人”

500
00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:34,059
‪我觉得这样回答一定会很好笑

501
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,994
‪但又不能这样回答

502
00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:39,931
‪我就说：“我看到烟囱了

503
00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:42,734
‪有人在炉灶生火”

504
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:45,337
‪他问：“那个人是谁？”
‪我说：“好像是我奶奶

505
00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:48,407
‪我奶奶在哭”

506
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:50,242
‪我根本没有被催眠

507
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,910
‪只是一直在编故事

508
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,478
‪然后他又接着问

509
00:21:53,545 --> 00:21:56,381
‪“你奶奶为什么在哭？”

510
00:21:56,448 --> 00:21:58,016
‪“因为你啊”

511
00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,786
‪我很想这样回答 但又不能

512
00:22:00,852 --> 00:22:02,120
‪我只好说：“我不知道

513
00:22:02,187 --> 00:22:04,156
‪她就是一直在哭”

514
00:22:04,222 --> 00:22:07,893
‪于是催眠师信心大增
‪他相信我已经被催眠了

515
00:22:07,959 --> 00:22:09,995
‪然后他突然拿了一个东西给我

516
00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:11,997
‪我一接手就闻到洋葱的味道

517
00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:15,500
‪他说：“现在不管你吃到什么

518
00:22:16,034 --> 00:22:18,136
‪都会觉得是好吃的苹果

519
00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:19,471
‪你会吃到一颗苹果”

520
00:22:19,538 --> 00:22:21,907
‪但那很明显就是一颗洋葱

521
00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:26,111
‪然后他就一直要塞给我吃

522
00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:30,882
‪但我都已经闻到味道了

523
00:22:30,949 --> 00:22:33,919
‪接着我咬了一口

524
00:22:33,985 --> 00:22:36,254
‪然后我就开始流眼泪

525
00:22:36,321 --> 00:22:39,591
‪但我又不能说我吃到洋葱

526
00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:41,326
‪只好说：“这是什么？

527
00:22:41,393 --> 00:22:44,863
‪我从来没吃过这么好吃的苹果

528
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:48,100
‪好好吃 奶奶 你也吃一口吧

529
00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:49,868
‪奶奶 你也吃啊”

530
00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:51,503
‪催眠师问：“你奶奶怎么说呢？”

531
00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:54,306
‪我就说：“我奶奶骂我疯子
‪她说这不能吃

532
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:57,109
‪说我怎么能拿这种东西给她吃”

533
00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:59,444
‪他就知道该收尾了
‪“接下来你会从沉睡中苏醒”

534
00:22:59,511 --> 00:23:02,280
‪于是制作人就在后台给了我一个暗示

535
00:23:02,347 --> 00:23:03,749
‪表示很满意

536
00:23:03,815 --> 00:23:05,150
‪但是不懂得察言观色的人

537
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:07,552
‪一吃到洋葱 反应就会很大

538
00:23:07,619 --> 00:23:09,521
‪再重新给他们一颗还是一样

539
00:23:09,588 --> 00:23:12,691
‪大概吃到第五颗
‪他们才知道要说：“好好吃”

540
00:23:15,427 --> 00:23:16,695
‪懂吧？他们太迟钝了

541
00:23:16,762 --> 00:23:21,133
‪所以录节目反应真的要够灵敏

542
00:23:21,199 --> 00:23:23,602
‪我算是一个很机灵的人

543
00:23:23,668 --> 00:23:26,171
{\an8}‪我以为我的小孩也会很机灵

544
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,940
{\an8}‪但是看来这跟基因完全无关

545
00:23:29,007 --> 00:23:32,010
{\an8}‪我会察言观色都是自己摸索来的

546
00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:35,747
‪我的其中一个儿子叫泰俊
‪最近在练徒手体操

547
00:23:35,814 --> 00:23:37,048
‪他是我的大儿子

548
00:23:37,115 --> 00:23:40,952
‪在一个叫特卡切夫的体操馆
‪让你们看一下画面

549
00:23:41,019 --> 00:23:42,621
‪他在练体操

550
00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:44,756
‪他现在初一

551
00:23:44,823 --> 00:23:47,292
‪裸着上身 你们看 身体撑在半空中

552
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,261
‪这就是他练徒手体操的样子

553
00:23:50,629 --> 00:23:52,197
‪还有这样撑在单杠上

554
00:23:52,798 --> 00:23:55,600
‪他都在练这种很难的动作

555
00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:57,736
‪有一次我听到他在房间里笑

556
00:23:57,803 --> 00:23:59,971
‪听起来像在问人问题

557
00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:01,239
‪我就去看了一下

558
00:24:01,306 --> 00:24:04,209
‪发现他在看直播

559
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:06,778
‪乍看之下我还以为观众有几百个人

560
00:24:06,845 --> 00:24:08,346
‪结果仔细一看只有三个

561
00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:11,283
‪我儿子留言回得最勤

562
00:24:11,349 --> 00:24:12,751
‪有一天 他很认真地跟我说

563
00:24:12,818 --> 00:24:15,420
‪“爸 我想去美国”

564
00:24:15,487 --> 00:24:18,056
‪我想说儿子是不是开始懂事了

565
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:20,392
‪他可能觉得去美国可以增长见闻

566
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:24,129
‪可以学英文 体验很多不一样的事物

567
00:24:24,196 --> 00:24:27,532
‪那我一定要排除万难 大力支持他

568
00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:28,600
‪我就问他

569
00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:31,036
‪“泰俊 你怎么突然想去美国？”

570
00:24:31,102 --> 00:24:34,306
‪结果他回我：“美国有很多单杠啊”

571
00:24:35,006 --> 00:24:36,608
‪美国有很多单杠吗？

572
00:24:36,675 --> 00:24:39,444
‪这里应该有美国Netflix的员工吧

573
00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:41,813
‪我真的很想请教他们

574
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,316
‪“到底有多少单杠？

575
00:24:44,382 --> 00:24:47,552
‪美国到底有多少单杠？”

576
00:24:47,619 --> 00:24:51,089
‪我真不知道是谁告诉他
‪美国有很多单杠的

577
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:55,026
‪那个人今晚还会在YouTube开直播
‪我打算亲自去问问他

578
00:24:55,093 --> 00:24:56,495
‪去问那个泰俊的偶像

579
00:24:56,561 --> 00:24:58,663
‪有我加入他就有四个观众了

580
00:24:58,730 --> 00:25:01,166
‪他一定知道答案吧

581
00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:06,171
‪所以我就发现
‪原来察言观色的能力不会遗传

582
00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:08,540
‪我还有个小儿子

583
00:25:08,607 --> 00:25:09,975
‪小儿子跟我比较像

584
00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:13,812
‪有一次 我对小儿子…
‪那天我先喝了一点小酒

585
00:25:13,879 --> 00:25:16,648
‪我太太跟两个儿子都在
‪我就认真跟他们说

586
00:25:16,715 --> 00:25:19,584
‪“过段时间我就要跟妈妈去乡下
‪盖间小房子

587
00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:21,686
‪然后就在那边住到老死

588
00:25:21,753 --> 00:25:23,788
‪妈妈如果先走 我也会追随她的脚步

589
00:25:23,855 --> 00:25:26,191
‪这就是我们的晚年
‪所以你们想怎么生活自己决定

590
00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:27,826
‪不要再跟我提单杠的事”

591
00:25:27,893 --> 00:25:30,028
‪因为他们老是胡说八道
‪我不得不严肃一点

592
00:25:30,095 --> 00:25:32,330
‪接着我就说
‪“但我会留一些钱给你们”

593
00:25:32,397 --> 00:25:35,534
‪这时候小儿子泰书就说
‪“爸爸 你不能就这样离开”

594
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,969
‪我说：“为什么？
‪爸爸为什么不能走？”

595
00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:40,639
‪他说：“你要先告诉我们
‪钱在哪里啊”

596
00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:42,874
‪我觉得太好笑了

597
00:25:42,941 --> 00:25:44,409
‪他真的这样回我

598
00:25:44,476 --> 00:25:46,478
‪他反应很快 还知道要问我钱在哪里

599
00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:49,948
‪但泰俊听完这些话 反应就不一样了
‪长子果然比较成熟

600
00:25:50,015 --> 00:25:52,017
‪他说：“喂 你怎么可以把钱

601
00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:54,653
‪看得比爸妈的生死还重要？

602
00:25:54,719 --> 00:25:57,556
‪爸妈应该健健康康陪在我们身边啊
‪你怎么能说这种话？”

603
00:25:57,622 --> 00:26:01,459
‪然后他下一句就问我
‪“爸 你乡下的房子会有单杠吗？”

604
00:26:02,427 --> 00:26:04,663
‪这边有点虚构的成分啦

605
00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:06,798
‪你们还喜欢吗？

606
00:26:09,301 --> 00:26:12,170
‪我察言观色的能力之所以会这么好

607
00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:14,272
{\an8}‪主要应该是因为成长环境

608
00:26:14,339 --> 00:26:15,907
{\an8}‪我小时候经常转学

609
00:26:15,974 --> 00:26:18,443
{\an8}‪六年级还参加了两次毕业典礼

610
00:26:18,510 --> 00:26:21,446
‪现在回去看我小时候的照片

611
00:26:21,513 --> 00:26:24,482
‪都是在看人脸色的照片 各位请看

612
00:26:24,950 --> 00:26:26,318
‪我当时不知道在看什么

613
00:26:26,384 --> 00:26:28,186
‪对吧？你们看

614
00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:30,255
‪这家伙到底在看什么？

615
00:26:30,322 --> 00:26:32,424
‪应该是在看着某个人吧

616
00:26:32,490 --> 00:26:33,792
‪小时候

617
00:26:34,292 --> 00:26:37,395
‪我有一次在小学操场

618
00:26:37,462 --> 00:26:39,698
‪跟朋友们踢足球

619
00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:41,866
‪当时我应该是三或四年级

620
00:26:41,933 --> 00:26:44,903
‪这是我们小学 我就在这里踢足球

621
00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:48,807
‪突然有一台耕耘机开进操场

622
00:26:48,873 --> 00:26:50,442
‪仔细一看

623
00:26:50,508 --> 00:26:52,711
‪耕耘机后面载着一个小柜子

624
00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:53,645
‪对

625
00:26:54,546 --> 00:26:56,514
‪我刚刚说小柜子 这个有点大

626
00:26:56,581 --> 00:26:58,350
‪没关系 这样就好

627
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:03,121
‪后面还有一台电风扇

628
00:27:03,188 --> 00:27:05,190
‪电风扇也没这么大

629
00:27:05,256 --> 00:27:06,992
‪没关系 不用改了

630
00:27:07,058 --> 00:27:08,627
‪总之有一台电风扇

631
00:27:08,693 --> 00:27:10,962
‪我们还在踢球
‪耕耘机就这样开进来了

632
00:27:11,029 --> 00:27:12,831
‪我想说那个驾驶疯了吧

633
00:27:12,897 --> 00:27:15,433
‪小朋友还在踢球耶 这样很危险

634
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,068
‪怎么可以把耕耘机开进来？

635
00:27:17,135 --> 00:27:20,205
‪然后我仔细一看 才发现那是我爸

636
00:27:20,271 --> 00:27:22,440
‪我爸用耕耘机载着家具

637
00:27:22,507 --> 00:27:24,042
‪就这样开过来了

638
00:27:24,109 --> 00:27:27,245
‪所以…等等 我爸那时候没戴帽子

639
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:29,381
‪没关系 就当他戴了吧 不用改了

640
00:27:29,447 --> 00:27:32,117
‪对 反正他就是突然出现

641
00:27:32,751 --> 00:27:34,519
‪然后叫我坐上耕耘机

642
00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:37,222
‪所以我就一如既往地跟朋友们说

643
00:27:37,288 --> 00:27:40,025
‪“明天见 我要先走了 抱歉”

644
00:27:40,425 --> 00:27:41,326
‪我们就出发了

645
00:27:41,393 --> 00:27:44,529
‪但我爸没有开回家 而是完全反方向

646
00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:46,731
‪耕耘机就这样一直开

647
00:27:46,798 --> 00:27:47,999
‪不停地开

648
00:27:48,066 --> 00:27:50,435
‪我爸偶尔会向后看

649
00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:52,470
‪但他估计不是为了
‪确认我有没有在后面

650
00:27:52,537 --> 00:27:55,040
‪而是担心电风扇掉了

651
00:27:55,106 --> 00:27:58,076
‪我根本没问他
‪反正我就乖乖坐在耕耘机上

652
00:27:58,143 --> 00:28:01,713
‪最后我们抵达一个陌生的新社区

653
00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:05,116
‪我爸就说：“这是你以后
‪要跟爸爸一起住的房子”

654
00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:07,886
‪然后旁边有一所小小的小学
‪规模就像分校一样

655
00:28:07,952 --> 00:28:10,922
‪他又说：“明天开始
‪你就要来这里上学了”

656
00:28:10,989 --> 00:28:14,859
‪我还搞不清楚状况
‪就有一个阿姨慢慢走过来

657
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,796
‪我在之前的社区见过她几次

658
00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:20,832
‪我爸突然说：“以后你要叫她妈妈”

659
00:28:21,566 --> 00:28:24,002
‪我明明已经有妈妈了啊

660
00:28:24,069 --> 00:28:25,637
‪我到初中都还会尿床

661
00:28:26,304 --> 00:28:27,806
‪因为我睡觉的时候

662
00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:29,941
‪我爸和继…

663
00:28:30,008 --> 00:28:32,377
‪我以前都叫阿姨 现在叫妈妈了

664
00:28:32,444 --> 00:28:34,713
‪她年纪大了 也跟我爸在一起很多年

665
00:28:34,779 --> 00:28:37,882
‪以前我不敢起床上厕所
‪我怕吵醒他们

666
00:28:37,949 --> 00:28:40,385
‪而且我到现在还记得
‪我爸有时候会这样

667
00:28:40,452 --> 00:28:43,321
‪在我眼前挥手 确认我睡着了没

668
00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:45,156
‪我不知道他为什么要这样

669
00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:47,859
‪反正我印象很深刻

670
00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:49,994
‪我不知道他的用意是什么

671
00:28:50,061 --> 00:28:53,131
‪他也不可能是要确认
‪我是不是还活着 对吧

672
00:28:53,198 --> 00:28:55,867
‪奇怪的是 连续好几个月都这样

673
00:28:55,934 --> 00:28:58,670
‪只要我在睡觉 他就会在我眼前挥手

674
00:29:00,038 --> 00:29:01,973
‪但我不晓得那是什么意思

675
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,209
‪小时候不会想那么多

676
00:29:04,275 --> 00:29:07,846
‪这副景象 最近这次连休

677
00:29:07,912 --> 00:29:10,048
‪我回乡下重现了一次

678
00:29:10,115 --> 00:29:11,750
‪就是这张照片

679
00:29:11,816 --> 00:29:15,086
‪我过年连休返乡的时候拍的

680
00:29:15,553 --> 00:29:18,289
‪我被截掉了 我告诉你们为什么

681
00:29:18,356 --> 00:29:20,825
‪因为社区里找不到人帮我们拍照

682
00:29:20,892 --> 00:29:23,228
‪我爸80岁的年纪在那里是最年轻的

683
00:29:23,294 --> 00:29:26,231
‪这是一个路过的老爷爷帮忙拍的
‪他已经快90岁了

684
00:29:26,297 --> 00:29:29,734
‪拍照应该按一下就放开
‪但他一直长按 就拍成了视频

685
00:29:29,801 --> 00:29:33,505
‪而且不知道他是怎么按的
‪我手机里有八张他的自拍照

686
00:29:33,972 --> 00:29:36,107
‪有些照片还看不到耕耘机全貌

687
00:29:36,174 --> 00:29:37,575
‪这已经是精挑细选过的了

688
00:29:37,642 --> 00:29:39,911
‪这张照片我要重现的是

689
00:29:39,978 --> 00:29:43,615
‪我在问我爸：“爸 我们要去哪？”

690
00:29:43,681 --> 00:29:46,151
‪那时候我爸的表情就是这样

691
00:29:46,217 --> 00:29:49,187
‪现在他儿子出人头地
‪会给他孝亲费 他其实可以多笑

692
00:29:49,254 --> 00:29:51,523
‪但他基本上就是没什么表情

693
00:29:51,589 --> 00:29:54,526
‪后来我们拍完这张照片

694
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,763
‪没过几天
‪我爸身体就突然出了一点问题

695
00:29:58,830 --> 00:30:00,932
‪动了一场挺大的手术

696
00:30:00,999 --> 00:30:04,369
‪这时候讲这个可能有点破坏气氛

697
00:30:04,435 --> 00:30:07,105
‪但他就在上礼拜…

698
00:30:07,806 --> 00:30:09,574
‪完全康复了

699
00:30:11,442 --> 00:30:12,977
‪我接到电话

700
00:30:14,012 --> 00:30:15,413
‪说他现在很健康

701
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,750
‪我爸通常不太看人脸色的

702
00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:21,052
‪他一直是直来直往的个性

703
00:30:21,119 --> 00:30:22,754
‪小学的时候

704
00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:24,956
‪有一次我跟我哥早上醒来
‪发现我爸不见了

705
00:30:25,023 --> 00:30:26,991
‪我跟我哥整个惊慌失措

706
00:30:27,058 --> 00:30:28,560
‪家里也没东西吃

707
00:30:28,626 --> 00:30:30,995
‪我哥只好想办法做点东西跟我一起吃

708
00:30:31,062 --> 00:30:33,398
‪我爸到第三天才回来

709
00:30:33,464 --> 00:30:35,867
‪我们问他去哪里了
‪他说：“我去旅游”

710
00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:38,102
‪他去旅游了

711
00:30:38,169 --> 00:30:41,139
‪“那你应该给我们零用钱啊”
‪他说：“我给了 你们没找到吗？”

712
00:30:41,206 --> 00:30:43,341
‪然后他就在房间里的一个角落

713
00:30:43,408 --> 00:30:46,377
‪捡起一团纸球给我们
‪摊开是一张五千韩元的纸币

714
00:30:46,444 --> 00:30:48,580
‪他是揉一揉丢进来的

715
00:30:48,646 --> 00:30:50,715
‪有一年的平安夜吧

716
00:30:50,782 --> 00:30:53,084
‪我爸说：“明天是圣诞节耶”

717
00:30:53,151 --> 00:30:55,086
‪他就说这么一句 没有说其他的话

718
00:30:55,153 --> 00:30:57,288
‪我跟我哥就想
‪“爸知道明天是圣诞节？”

719
00:30:57,355 --> 00:31:00,992
‪所以晚上睡前
‪我们就拿了我爸的军用长袜

720
00:31:01,059 --> 00:31:02,594
‪很大一双

721
00:31:02,660 --> 00:31:04,963
‪我跟我哥睡前一人挂了一只

722
00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:08,166
‪隔天早上醒来 我爸把袜子穿出门了

723
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:11,603
‪他已经拿去穿了

724
00:31:11,669 --> 00:31:15,139
‪可能因为圣诞节
‪他想穿厚一点的袜子吧

725
00:31:16,007 --> 00:31:19,978
‪这就是我跟我哥关于圣诞节的回忆

726
00:31:20,044 --> 00:31:24,249
‪有一次电视台跟我要周岁的照片

727
00:31:24,315 --> 00:31:27,218
‪我就打电话问我爸
‪有没有我周岁的照片

728
00:31:27,285 --> 00:31:28,786
‪他说没有 我问他为什么

729
00:31:28,853 --> 00:31:30,755
‪他说：“因为没帮你办周岁宴啊”

730
00:31:30,822 --> 00:31:34,125
‪我没有照片 所以我就找炳万帮忙

731
00:31:34,192 --> 00:31:37,996
‪我找了一轮
‪发现跟我长得最像的就是炳万了

732
00:31:38,062 --> 00:31:41,599
‪我问他有没有周岁的照片
‪结果他真的有

733
00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:44,502
‪据我所知
‪当时他的家境应该也没那么好

734
00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:47,005
‪这是金炳万

735
00:31:47,071 --> 00:31:49,274
‪但婴儿时期谁认得出来？
‪所以我就去问我爸

736
00:31:49,340 --> 00:31:52,644
‪这张照片像不像我
‪他说：“跟你长得一模一样

737
00:31:52,710 --> 00:31:57,081
‪说这是你也没人会怀疑
‪一副聪明样”

738
00:31:57,148 --> 00:31:59,117
‪我本来以为他会跟我道歉

739
00:31:59,183 --> 00:32:02,320
‪说他以前怎么样之类的
‪结果他说跟我长得一模一样

740
00:32:02,387 --> 00:32:04,322
‪既然提到小孩了

741
00:32:04,389 --> 00:32:06,724
{\an8}‪你们有见过特色不鲜明的小孩吗？

742
00:32:06,791 --> 00:32:09,794
{\an8}‪并不是每个小孩都会很漂亮或很可爱

743
00:32:09,861 --> 00:32:12,597
‪有时候朋友带小孩来

744
00:32:12,664 --> 00:32:14,365
‪我看到会这样

745
00:32:14,432 --> 00:32:17,936
‪“天啊！我的天啊！

746
00:32:18,002 --> 00:32:19,637
‪他长这么大了啊

747
00:32:19,704 --> 00:32:22,106
‪感觉你老婆不久前才怀孕而已

748
00:32:22,173 --> 00:32:26,711
‪天啊 怎么长得这么快？天啊”

749
00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:30,181
‪我就避开小孩的外貌不谈
‪把焦点放在他的成长速度

750
00:32:30,248 --> 00:32:33,284
‪然后不停惊呼

751
00:32:33,351 --> 00:32:34,786
‪有时候就是这样

752
00:32:35,253 --> 00:32:37,021
‪尽量不去冒犯到对方

753
00:32:37,088 --> 00:32:38,690
‪还有一种情形

754
00:32:38,756 --> 00:32:41,759
‪如果人家生了女儿
‪但我不小心说错性别

755
00:32:41,826 --> 00:32:43,895
‪我就会马上改口
‪“那你现在只缺儿子了耶

756
00:32:43,962 --> 00:32:47,131
‪女儿长得这么漂亮
‪儿子一定也会长得很好看

757
00:32:47,198 --> 00:32:48,800
‪你会是很棒的爸爸”

758
00:32:48,866 --> 00:32:51,269
‪随机应变的反应要很快

759
00:32:51,336 --> 00:32:54,339
‪我建议各位都先预设婴儿是个女孩

760
00:32:54,405 --> 00:32:56,374
‪当你说：“天啊 小公主好可爱”

761
00:32:56,441 --> 00:32:59,477
‪这样即便他是男孩
‪妈妈听了也会很开心

762
00:32:59,544 --> 00:33:02,580
‪被纠正就说：“他是男孩啊？
‪那也太漂亮了吧

763
00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:05,550
‪一定是遗传到妈妈”
‪这样就不会冒犯到对方了

764
00:33:06,017 --> 00:33:09,087
‪各位结婚礼金通常都包多少？
‪这有常规吗？

765
00:33:09,153 --> 00:33:11,089
‪普通朋友包5万韩元

766
00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:12,857
‪很好的朋友包10万韩元

767
00:33:12,924 --> 00:33:16,928
‪如果是亲人就包20万至30万韩元

768
00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:19,297
‪如果五、六年没联络了
‪突然间传来婚讯

769
00:33:19,364 --> 00:33:21,165
‪那就发个表情符号过去就好

770
00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:23,501
‪发个表情符号就够了

771
00:33:23,568 --> 00:33:25,670
‪一旦回复讯息 恭喜对方

772
00:33:25,737 --> 00:33:27,405
‪有了对话 那就非去不可了

773
00:33:27,472 --> 00:33:30,108
‪如果只传个表情符号
‪对方就会知道没戏唱

774
00:33:30,174 --> 00:33:32,343
‪所以这样就好 不能有对话

775
00:33:32,410 --> 00:33:33,311
‪这很尴尬吧？

776
00:33:33,378 --> 00:33:35,847
‪有个跟我交情普通的朋友
‪请我去参加婚礼

777
00:33:35,913 --> 00:33:37,482
‪于是我带了10万韩元

778
00:33:37,548 --> 00:33:40,051
‪到现场遇到另一个朋友
‪他还没准备现金

779
00:33:40,118 --> 00:33:42,086
‪我就陪他去找提款机

780
00:33:42,153 --> 00:33:44,889
‪然后我看他领了20万韩元

781
00:33:44,956 --> 00:33:48,126
‪但是我们两个之中
‪是我跟新郎的交情更好一点

782
00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:51,129
‪我怕如果我只包10万韩元
‪新郎会很失望

783
00:33:51,195 --> 00:33:54,365
‪可恶 所以我又领了20万韩元

784
00:33:54,899 --> 00:33:56,768
‪因为我觉得我应该要
‪比他多包10万韩元

785
00:33:56,834 --> 00:33:58,369
‪接着我就去交了30万韩元的礼金

786
00:33:58,436 --> 00:34:00,805
‪然后轮到我朋友
‪他应该会交20万韩元嘛

787
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:04,375
‪结果他要了四个信封
‪分别装了5万韩元

788
00:34:04,442 --> 00:34:06,711
‪那些礼金他是帮别人转交的

789
00:34:06,778 --> 00:34:08,946
‪可恶 我应该让他先去交的

790
00:34:09,013 --> 00:34:11,049
‪这样我就只要给10万韩元

791
00:34:11,115 --> 00:34:14,652
‪我先交完了才看到他分四个信封

792
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,020
‪我能跟谁讨？

793
00:34:16,988 --> 00:34:18,623
‪这样就让人很懊恼 对吧？

794
00:34:18,689 --> 00:34:19,891
‪不觉得很难算清楚吗？

795
00:34:19,957 --> 00:34:24,228
‪这种状况不只会发生在婚礼
‪周岁宴也一样

796
00:34:24,629 --> 00:34:26,798
‪拿朴圣光来举例好了

797
00:34:26,864 --> 00:34:30,368
‪这个我很喜欢的后辈
‪第一次要帮孩子办周岁宴

798
00:34:30,435 --> 00:34:31,736
‪我是他前辈 交情也很深

799
00:34:31,803 --> 00:34:35,206
‪我准备大手笔包个100万韩元给他

800
00:34:35,273 --> 00:34:37,141
‪身为他的前辈 这是应该的

801
00:34:38,309 --> 00:34:41,479
‪然后我带着100万韩元到了现场

802
00:34:41,546 --> 00:34:43,281
‪大声恭喜圣光

803
00:34:43,347 --> 00:34:45,183
‪结果发现他太太已经怀了第二胎

804
00:34:45,249 --> 00:34:47,985
‪我心想不妙 如果这时候包100万韩元

805
00:34:48,052 --> 00:34:51,222
‪那第二胎的周岁宴
‪不就又要包吗？等等！

806
00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:55,660
‪我就先到洗手间收回50万韩元

807
00:34:55,726 --> 00:34:58,629
‪改包50万韩元给圣光 再道声恭喜

808
00:34:58,696 --> 00:35:01,699
‪因为再过一年就要包第二次啦

809
00:35:01,766 --> 00:35:03,000
‪所以现在我改变做法了

810
00:35:03,067 --> 00:35:05,703
‪如果有人要办周岁宴
‪我就会先打通电话去问

811
00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:07,405
‪“需要我帮忙主持抓周仪式吗？”

812
00:35:08,206 --> 00:35:11,075
‪如果我帮忙主持…你们应该都懂吧？

813
00:35:11,142 --> 00:35:12,210
‪通常会有酬劳

814
00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:16,180
‪所以后来我会尽量用主持
‪来代替送礼金

815
00:35:16,247 --> 00:35:19,217
{\an8}‪以前我当过休闲活动讲师 那时候

816
00:35:19,283 --> 00:35:21,786
{\an8}‪如果去到外县市主持活动

817
00:35:21,853 --> 00:35:24,522
{\an8}‪各个地方都有不同的方言

818
00:35:24,589 --> 00:35:27,391
‪最让我印象深刻的是忠清道方言

819
00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:30,027
‪忠清道方言是这样 “算了 好了啦

820
00:35:30,094 --> 00:35:31,929
‪不要这样” 听起来很多“优”的音

821
00:35:31,996 --> 00:35:33,965
‪“下一位是IU” 就像这样

822
00:35:34,031 --> 00:35:35,633
‪乍听之下都是这个腔 但其实不是

823
00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:38,436
‪天安跟牙山那边的方言很有趣

824
00:35:38,503 --> 00:35:41,639
‪我有个叫尚源的后辈就住在那里

825
00:35:41,706 --> 00:35:44,342
‪比如我要走了
‪他就会说：“这么快就要走了？

826
00:35:44,408 --> 00:35:47,945
‪跟我们一起吃完饭再走吧 嗯？”
‪就像这样

827
00:35:48,012 --> 00:35:51,482
‪“跟我们一起吃完饭再走吧 嗯？”

828
00:35:51,549 --> 00:35:55,486
‪“哥 连休你都在干吗？
‪怎么不打通电话呢？嗯？”

829
00:35:57,088 --> 00:35:59,423
‪就像李承哲唱歌拉长音那样

830
00:35:59,490 --> 00:36:01,492
‪他讲话真的就像那样

831
00:36:01,559 --> 00:36:02,827
‪“哥 你在干吗？

832
00:36:02,894 --> 00:36:06,230
‪过来一起喝杯咖啡啊 嗯？”

833
00:36:06,297 --> 00:36:08,966
‪他干吗不整个句子一起拉长？

834
00:36:09,033 --> 00:36:10,902
‪前面讲得这么快

835
00:36:10,968 --> 00:36:12,803
‪句尾拉这么长

836
00:36:12,870 --> 00:36:15,473
‪“下次有空再来玩啊 嗯？”

837
00:36:17,375 --> 00:36:19,210
‪这也是忠清道方言

838
00:36:19,277 --> 00:36:21,913
‪不知道外国观众听不听得懂

839
00:36:21,979 --> 00:36:24,549
‪其实我们日常生活中

840
00:36:24,615 --> 00:36:27,952
‪也有很多事情需要察言观色

841
00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:31,322
‪今天在场应该也有很多观众
‪觉得来这里有罪恶感吧

842
00:36:31,389 --> 00:36:35,927
‪所以接下来
‪我要来当你们的察言观色大师了

843
00:36:35,993 --> 00:36:37,195
‪我今天就是教练嘛

844
00:36:37,261 --> 00:36:40,531
{\an8}‪如果有人觉得自己经常顾虑很多

845
00:36:40,598 --> 00:36:43,301
{\an8}‪希望教练可以在这边给你建议

846
00:36:43,367 --> 00:36:46,604
‪就请你举手
‪我来提供明确的解决之道

847
00:36:46,671 --> 00:36:48,072
‪这位小姐 请说

848
00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:51,175
‪-我要站起来吗？
‪-你自己观察一下

849
00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:55,713
‪好 请问你有什么烦恼？

850
00:36:55,780 --> 00:36:58,182
{\an8}‪我在家里排行老大

851
00:36:58,249 --> 00:36:59,984
{\an8}‪在两边家族都是排行最大的

852
00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:02,253
‪-你说在妈妈家跟爸爸家吗？
‪-在妈妈家…对

853
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:03,588
‪然后呢？

854
00:37:03,654 --> 00:37:06,958
‪我不晓得是不是这个原因
‪总之我在家里都会很不自在

855
00:37:07,024 --> 00:37:08,926
‪我在家里都要一直察言观色

856
00:37:08,993 --> 00:37:13,364
‪-嗯
‪-每次有事都要由我居中调解

857
00:37:13,431 --> 00:37:16,067
‪-你说在家里很不自在吗？
‪-对 在家不自在

858
00:37:16,133 --> 00:37:18,703
‪比如说我去参加宿营

859
00:37:18,769 --> 00:37:22,773
‪家人会在这段期间吵架
‪等我回来气氛就很糟

860
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,276
‪-你是跟双亲一起住吧？
‪-对

861
00:37:25,343 --> 00:37:27,378
‪-跟我家的状况不一样吧？
‪-不一样

862
00:37:28,379 --> 00:37:30,781
‪-我家不是
‪-那然后呢？

863
00:37:30,848 --> 00:37:32,483
‪我在家都不能放松

864
00:37:32,550 --> 00:37:35,853
‪我只要在家
‪就必须一直留意家里的动静

865
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,022
‪如果我爸妈同桌吃饭

866
00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:39,790
‪讲话开始越来越大声

867
00:37:39,857 --> 00:37:42,526
‪我就必须出来
‪坐在他们旁边 但我妹…

868
00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:45,029
‪这个我应该怎么帮你才好？

869
00:37:47,231 --> 00:37:49,867
‪如果你想搬出家里
‪我是可以帮你找房子啦

870
00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:52,670
‪-你有兄弟姐妹吗？还是独生女？
‪-我有一个妹妹

871
00:37:52,737 --> 00:37:54,338
‪-妹妹几岁？
‪-她20岁

872
00:37:54,405 --> 00:37:56,374
‪-她不会顾虑这些吗？
‪-不会

873
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:57,842
‪那你就学学她吧

874
00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:00,778
‪这样不是简单多了吗？

875
00:38:00,845 --> 00:38:03,214
‪你为什么要自己扛下
‪这么重的包袱呢？

876
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:07,084
‪你排行老大
‪又是两边家族最大的小孩

877
00:38:07,551 --> 00:38:10,855
‪父母可能会比较依赖你 对吧？

878
00:38:10,921 --> 00:38:13,324
‪-对
‪-你也没办法完全视而不见

879
00:38:13,391 --> 00:38:15,192
‪不过如果是家人比较没关系

880
00:38:15,259 --> 00:38:17,828
‪出社会后看别人的脸色比较讨人厌

881
00:38:17,895 --> 00:38:20,298
‪顾虑家人的反应不算太大的问题

882
00:38:20,364 --> 00:38:23,334
‪虽然感觉像在看脸色
‪但这其实也是一种沟通方式 对吧？

883
00:38:23,401 --> 00:38:25,002
‪如果爸妈不会吵架

884
00:38:25,069 --> 00:38:27,204
‪你也没机会跟他们对话

885
00:38:27,271 --> 00:38:29,373
‪你应该只会待在自己房间摆弄手机吧

886
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,877
‪你爸妈是为了制造机会跟你说话
‪才故意吵架的

887
00:38:32,943 --> 00:38:35,212
‪这样一家人才能聚在一起

888
00:38:35,279 --> 00:38:37,048
‪现在这个时代缺少对话

889
00:38:37,114 --> 00:38:38,582
‪我们都只会自说自话

890
00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:41,419
‪我觉得你爸妈用了非常高明的手段

891
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:44,288
‪-他们也没离婚 还是继续在一起吧
‪-对

892
00:38:44,355 --> 00:38:45,790
‪-你需要强力胶带吗？
‪-不用

893
00:38:45,856 --> 00:38:48,192
‪不用吧？那就没事了

894
00:38:48,259 --> 00:38:49,927
‪-加油 好吗？
‪-好 谢谢

895
00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:53,564
{\an8}‪可以笑着谈论这些事
‪就代表问题没这么严重

896
00:38:53,631 --> 00:38:54,765
‪还有人要问吗？

897
00:38:54,832 --> 00:38:57,034
‪好 前面这位先生

898
00:38:57,101 --> 00:38:59,537
‪我去年刚从大学毕业

899
00:38:59,603 --> 00:39:02,206
‪然后就开始准备找工作

900
00:39:02,273 --> 00:39:04,775
‪但过了一年我还是待业中

901
00:39:04,842 --> 00:39:08,879
‪所以爸妈看到我在家里
‪已经会有点不高兴

902
00:39:08,946 --> 00:39:11,415
‪过年过节的时候 有一些阿姨

903
00:39:11,482 --> 00:39:13,851
‪-就会问我什么时候才会找到工作
‪-对

904
00:39:13,918 --> 00:39:15,853
‪-她们都会问
‪-亲戚都会一直问这些嘛

905
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,089
‪幸运的是今年因为新冠疫情的关系

906
00:39:18,155 --> 00:39:20,057
‪没有回老家

907
00:39:20,124 --> 00:39:24,595
‪不用见到奶奶跟阿姨们
‪我还觉得松了一口气

908
00:39:24,662 --> 00:39:26,364
‪所以你希望新冠疫情
‪可以持续久一点吗？

909
00:39:26,430 --> 00:39:27,798
‪没有

910
00:39:28,499 --> 00:39:32,069
‪我希望疫情快点控制下来
‪我才比较好找工作

911
00:39:32,136 --> 00:39:33,337
‪这样才好

912
00:39:33,404 --> 00:39:35,406
‪但因为我在家觉得如坐针毡

913
00:39:35,473 --> 00:39:39,076
‪想请问你能不能给我一点建议？

914
00:39:39,810 --> 00:39:41,245
‪你现在几岁？

915
00:39:41,312 --> 00:39:42,380
‪我现在27岁

916
00:39:42,446 --> 00:39:44,648
‪27岁还年轻 你也当过兵了

917
00:39:44,715 --> 00:39:46,550
‪人生是自己的

918
00:39:46,617 --> 00:39:49,320
‪也许未来…你现在27岁嘛

919
00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:52,456
‪也许你出人头地的时候
‪是28岁、29岁或30岁 都不一定

920
00:39:52,523 --> 00:39:54,959
‪等你飞黄腾达的时候
‪多给爸妈一点孝亲费

921
00:39:55,025 --> 00:39:56,360
‪只要你孝顺 他们绝对不会责备你

922
00:39:56,427 --> 00:39:58,929
‪以前我打给我爸 他都是立刻挂电话

923
00:39:59,630 --> 00:40:02,433
‪我还没没无闻的时候打给他
‪马上就会听到断线音

924
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,902
‪所以我都不会回去看他 我说真的

925
00:40:04,969 --> 00:40:07,838
‪他会跟我说：“你朋友学工业技术
‪去当汽修工人

926
00:40:07,905 --> 00:40:09,407
‪现在都当上厂长了

927
00:40:09,473 --> 00:40:11,442
‪你在搞什么？居然想当艺人”

928
00:40:11,509 --> 00:40:12,676
‪但他现在都是这样

929
00:40:16,947 --> 00:40:21,185
‪“这个宴席是我们寿根帮我办的”
‪他已经变成这样了

930
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,454
‪等待那一天到来就好
‪你们毕竟是家人

931
00:40:23,521 --> 00:40:25,723
‪家人只是担心你

932
00:40:25,790 --> 00:40:27,792
‪他们不会故意找你碴

933
00:40:27,858 --> 00:40:30,694
‪最有耐心等待我们的就是家人了

934
00:40:31,595 --> 00:40:34,899
{\an8}‪这点很重要
‪只要记得你们是家人就好

935
00:40:34,965 --> 00:40:38,602
{\an8}‪圣光 你记得要加点励志语录
‪不然观众不会买单

936
00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:41,972
‪还有人吗？什么都可以问

937
00:40:42,039 --> 00:40:44,575
‪好 这位小姐

938
00:40:44,642 --> 00:40:47,144
‪去年11月我找到工作了

939
00:40:47,211 --> 00:40:48,412
‪恭喜你

940
00:40:48,479 --> 00:40:50,748
‪我是高中毕业马上进入职场

941
00:40:50,815 --> 00:40:52,683
‪-直接工作？
‪-对

942
00:40:52,750 --> 00:40:54,118
‪你看她

943
00:40:54,752 --> 00:40:57,888
‪她做得到 你也可以

944
00:40:57,955 --> 00:40:59,957
‪-然后呢？
‪-我和上司

945
00:41:00,024 --> 00:41:02,026
{\an8}‪-年龄差距很大
‪-嗯

946
00:41:02,092 --> 00:41:03,594
{\an8}‪我觉得很不自在

947
00:41:03,661 --> 00:41:05,262
‪你们年龄差距多大？

948
00:41:05,329 --> 00:41:07,765
‪大概差了九岁以上

949
00:41:07,832 --> 00:41:10,968
‪那应该用职称来称呼他们就好了吧？

950
00:41:11,035 --> 00:41:14,572
‪但是我们的职级除了科长、次长以外

951
00:41:14,638 --> 00:41:17,408
‪其他员工就没有再细分了

952
00:41:17,475 --> 00:41:19,710
‪我们没有太详细的职级划分

953
00:41:19,777 --> 00:41:22,680
‪然后男员工的比例比较高

954
00:41:22,746 --> 00:41:26,116
‪所以称呼他们只能叫“某某先生”
‪或是用“不好意思”开头

955
00:41:26,183 --> 00:41:28,252
‪应该可以叫前辈就好吧？

956
00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:31,021
‪我觉得叫前辈应该最适合

957
00:41:31,088 --> 00:41:34,992
‪如果听到小自己很多岁的人
‪称呼自己“某某先生”

958
00:41:35,059 --> 00:41:37,294
‪“李寿根先生 可以帮我个忙吗？”

959
00:41:37,361 --> 00:41:41,799
‪称呼“某某先生”
‪我会觉得挺有距离感的 对吧？

960
00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:43,501
‪他们跟我讲话都会用敬语

961
00:41:43,567 --> 00:41:45,236
‪-谁？
‪-其他同事

962
00:41:45,302 --> 00:41:49,273
‪不然你站在办公桌上跟他们说
‪“喂 今天开始别说敬语”

963
00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:51,242
‪说敬语是表达尊重的意思

964
00:41:51,308 --> 00:41:52,576
‪-我知道
‪-这是应该的

965
00:41:52,643 --> 00:41:54,645
‪如果因为同事年纪小 就…

966
00:41:54,712 --> 00:41:56,480
‪-你叫什么名字？
‪-我叫妍羽

967
00:41:56,547 --> 00:41:58,816
‪“妍羽 你去做这个 你过来”

968
00:41:58,883 --> 00:42:02,419
‪用这种态度待人处事的话非常糟糕

969
00:42:02,486 --> 00:42:03,921
‪你理应受到尊重

970
00:42:03,988 --> 00:42:05,890
‪他们尊重你是应该的

971
00:42:05,956 --> 00:42:08,459
{\an8}‪他们愿意对最年轻的员工
‪使用敬语 给予尊重

972
00:42:08,526 --> 00:42:10,928
{\an8}‪我觉得那是很不错的职场环境

973
00:42:14,064 --> 00:42:18,068
‪我们一生中
‪其实不可能完全不去顾虑他人

974
00:42:18,135 --> 00:42:21,005
‪各位觉得我们最应该顾虑的人是谁？

975
00:42:21,071 --> 00:42:22,273
‪就是我们自己

976
00:42:22,339 --> 00:42:25,509
‪我们一生当中
‪最在意的应该就是自己了 对吧？

977
00:42:25,576 --> 00:42:28,379
{\an8}‪但我们要顾虑谁
‪决定权都在自己手上

978
00:42:28,445 --> 00:42:31,949
‪我最后再给各位一个建议

979
00:42:32,016 --> 00:42:34,084
‪保持自己原本的样子

980
00:42:34,151 --> 00:42:35,386
‪做自己就好

981
00:42:35,452 --> 00:42:37,187
{\an8}‪不要去顾虑别人的眼光

982
00:42:37,254 --> 00:42:39,623
{\an8}‪轻松地按照自己的步调生活

983
00:42:39,690 --> 00:42:41,191
‪不论男女老幼

984
00:42:41,258 --> 00:42:43,527
‪不管你是小学生、初中生还是高中生

985
00:42:43,594 --> 00:42:47,197
‪都不要在意别人的眼光
‪放轻松做自己就好

986
00:42:47,264 --> 00:42:51,101
‪无论你在人生的哪一个阶段
‪那么请问我们现在最需要的是什么？

987
00:42:51,168 --> 00:42:53,103
‪就是结尾了 各位

988
00:42:54,538 --> 00:42:57,007
‪大家不要难过

989
00:42:57,074 --> 00:42:59,343
‪如果Netflix懂得察言观色

990
00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:01,779
‪他们一定会再加场

991
00:43:02,313 --> 00:43:05,015
‪等到新冠疫情过去
‪可以和更多观众同乐

992
00:43:05,082 --> 00:43:08,686
‪我相信他们会再给我一个更好的机会

993
00:43:08,752 --> 00:43:11,755
‪最后…还有这个环节吧？

994
00:43:11,822 --> 00:43:14,224
‪接下来我们准备了一场鸽子秀

995
00:43:14,291 --> 00:43:17,494
‪大家往上看 它们被放出来的时候
‪小心一点就好

996
00:43:17,561 --> 00:43:20,264
‪象征和平的鸽子秀来了！

997
00:43:44,588 --> 00:43:46,991
‪谢谢大家

998
00:45:39,269 --> 00:45:44,274
‪字幕翻译：黄荣君