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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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{\an8}‪NETFLIX 原創喜劇特輯

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{\an8}‪（所有人員及觀眾
‪事前新冠檢驗結果皆為陰性）

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{\an8}‪（錄影現場亦落實各項防疫措施）

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{\an8}‪察言觀色大師，讚

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‪（《李壽根：察言觀色大師》）

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‪我從來沒有這種感覺

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{\an8}‪上場了，察言觀色大師

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{\an8}‪（李壽根）

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‪唉唷

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‪本來聽說這個釣魚場很安靜

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‪沒想到還有掌聲

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‪所以這裡其實滿吵的啊

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‪我看看啊

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‪水很清澈耶

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‪裡面的魚看起來也都不錯

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‪但感覺不太活躍

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‪都一直待在一樣的位置
‪是因為天氣還沒變暖嗎？

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‪我來看一下，聽說魚喜歡這種餌

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‪應該會上鉤吧，就用它了

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‪這是我特地花68萬韓元買的

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‪來看看哪隻魚會上鉤吧

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‪這裡有魚，來了，對，來…

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‪有反應了

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‪上鉤了，有魚上鉤耶

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‪天啊，就是這樣

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‪等等喔

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‪來了！

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‪上鉤了！天啊！

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‪可惡，餌被咬走了

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‪他怎麼有辦法只把餌咬走啊？

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‪我想他應該知道待會要還回來

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‪等等，我看一下

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‪今天釣到哪些魚，我釣了這麼多啊？

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‪還生龍活虎的耶，這是什麼？

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‪唉唷，鱸魚，天啊

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‪還活蹦亂跳的，這又是什麼？

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‪這邊是淡水，竟然釣得到鯊魚

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‪比目魚、鮭魚、鱸魚

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‪這什麼？什麼鬼？

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‪居然還釣到英語

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‪還有這個？連Super Junior都釣到了

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‪Super Junior耶

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‪原來你們喜歡這種笑點
‪這又是什麼？

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‪我沒釣過這種東西耶，這什麼啊？

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‪這樣戴就行了嗎？

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‪試音

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‪節奏下

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‪嘿！呵！

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‪金濃密！

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{\an8}‪（金濃密）

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{\an8}‪-大家好！
‪-大家好！

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{\an8}‪-察言觀色大師
‪-察言觀色大師

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{\an8}‪-察言觀色大師來訓練你的反應力
‪-察言觀色大師來訓練你的反應力

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{\an8}‪-閉嘴，向左右看齊
‪-閉嘴，向左右看齊

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{\an8}‪-察言觀色大師
‪-察言觀色大師

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{\an8}‪我是教練，我來教你練練觀察力

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{\an8}‪把我20年爐火純青的功力教給你

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{\an8}‪所有人目瞪口呆，為之震驚

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{\an8}‪我試試嘻哈，其他饒舌歌手嗤之以鼻

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{\an8}‪拜壽根哥所賜
‪讓我有幸登上Netflix

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{\an8}‪有國外粉絲的翻譯，我成了韓國之光

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{\an8}‪李教授開課了
‪好好學習他的人生智慧

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{\an8}‪我和我的榜樣夢想都已實現

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{\an8}‪大哥，我該怎麼做才好？

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{\an8}‪老弟，你聽清楚了

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{\an8}‪大哥，你快教教我吧

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{\an8}‪-“大家好”，先問好再說
‪-先問好再說

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{\an8}‪-察言觀色大師
‪-察言觀色大師

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{\an8}‪-察言觀色大師來訓練你的反應力
‪-察言觀色大師來訓練你的反應力

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{\an8}‪-閉嘴，向左右看齊
‪-閉嘴，向左右看齊

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{\an8}‪-察言觀色大師
‪-察言觀色大師

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‪歡迎金濃密！

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‪說“呵”

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‪-呵
‪-呵

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‪說“霍霍”

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‪-霍霍
‪-霍霍

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‪我說“察言觀色”，你們說“大師”

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‪-察言觀色！
‪-大師！

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‪各位，現在疫情當前

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‪我們饒舌歌手濃密為了當我的嘉賓

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‪他還去做了新冠肺炎的採檢

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‪鼻子真的超痛的

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‪謝謝他來到這裡，掌聲鼓勵

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‪-謝謝大家，我是金濃密
‪-金濃密！

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‪有朝一日你一定可以到歐洲巡演

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‪Netflix，等我！

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‪190個國家的觀眾都在看著你

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‪謝謝這麼多人的觀看

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‪言歸正傳，接下來

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‪《李壽根：察言觀色大師》正式開始

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‪設置舞臺！

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‪來吧，舞臺！

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{\an8}‪（正在變身為察言觀色大師）

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{\an8}‪（有人不知道這時候要拍手嗎？）

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‪大家好，很高興看到你們來

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‪-你好
‪-你好

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‪好，我是李壽根

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‪Netflix是一家跨國性的企業
‪他們給的經費滿充足的

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‪所以我就好好治裝了一番

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‪全套的金色運動服

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‪18K金的

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‪還有項鍊

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‪這上面寫什麼？好像是借來的

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‪總之就是在炫富

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‪還有金色的哨子，有哨子才像教練

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‪不錯，很棒吧？

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‪好，再來…這什麼？這要收掉吧

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‪你們明知道今天的節目名稱
‪反應還這麼慢

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‪快點來收走吧，不能放在這啊

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‪你在幹嘛？

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‪你是誰？

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‪-唉唷
‪-你是誰？

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‪-各位，是朴聖光
‪-唉唷，大家好

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{\an8}‪（朴聖光）

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‪連幕後工作人員都是重金禮聘

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‪-由藝人來擔任工作人員
‪-等等

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‪你為什麼戴了麥克風？

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‪-我？你不是要跟我一起表演嗎？
‪-我看到你還滿驚喜的

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‪-你很驚喜嗎？
‪-不過你剛剛一上臺莫名其妙跌倒

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‪我就知道你應該是諧星了

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‪他們說我要趕快出來拿水桶

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‪-但身為諧星，我應該做點效果
‪-做得好

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‪不然下一場喜劇表演就換你來試試

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‪-我嗎？
‪-對

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‪這樣大家可能會以為
‪韓國的喜劇演員都很矮耶

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‪-因為我們兩個都不高
‪-那…

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‪中間先找高一點的人
‪然後再換我比較好吧

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‪那可能就不叫站立喜劇

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‪-而是坐下喜劇了
‪-沒錯，都是矮子

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‪大家都不知道我們站著
‪因為站著跟坐著一樣高

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‪沒錯，所以會變成坐下喜劇

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‪-好的
‪-總之真的很謝謝你

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‪-謝謝你啊，聖光
‪-謝謝

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‪-大家一起享受今天的演出吧！
‪-你好好休息吧

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‪-再見了
‪-好

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‪還要把水桶跟帽子帶走

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‪這樣根本就是《搞笑演唱會》啊

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‪-不好意思
‪-這樣會嚇到歐洲人

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‪-對喔，這邊比較高規格
‪-這是站立喜劇

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‪-這是高級的站立喜劇
‪-對，是站立喜劇

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‪-你先回座吧
‪-好

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‪-放輕鬆觀賞演出
‪-我回去了，我會的

145
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‪謝謝聖光跟濃密

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‪通常站立喜劇的現場會有很多觀眾

147
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‪謝謝你們為了來看我演出
‪還去做了新冠肺炎的採檢

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‪-今天座位很舒適吧？
‪-對

149
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‪那你們的笑聲應該不會太熱烈

150
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‪最近我錄了很多節目

151
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‪我現在很喜歡釣魚

152
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:35,221
‪我在錄《都市漁夫》的時候
‪就一邊錄一邊學怎麼釣魚

153
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,089
‪其實釣魚沒什麼特別的技巧

154
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‪只要懂得觀察就好了

155
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‪如果發現魚可能上鉤了

156
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‪只要適時察覺，然後提竿就好

157
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‪如果隔壁的敬揆前輩抱怨說
‪“怎麼都只有你釣到魚？”

158
00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:46,466
‪那只要先停手就好

159
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‪這樣他就不會說什麼了

160
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‪他會安靜下來，釣魚就是要見機行事

161
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{\an8}‪各位聽過一種叫竹篙頭的魚嗎？

162
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{\an8}‪沒聽過吧？韓文剛好和察言觀色同音

163
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,045
{\an8}‪出現了，這邊設備很棒吧？

164
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‪只有在國內的站立喜劇看得到

165
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:02,114
‪這就是竹篙頭

166
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‪是唇䱻的俗名

167
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‪去淡水域釣魚很常釣到牠

168
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‪牠力氣超級大

169
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‪這種魚超級不平易近人

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‪牠的魚刺超多，而且腥味還很重

171
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‪手一旦碰過，味道很難洗掉

172
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‪每次釣到這種魚，大家都會罵聲連連

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‪久而久之牠也懂得看臉色了

174
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‪本來魚都是嘴巴開開合合

175
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:24,837
‪但牠是這樣看著你

176
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:25,872
‪這就是竹篙頭

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‪我為什麼會提到這個？

178
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‪因為看到竹篙頭就像看到我自己

179
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‪不過這不代表我身上很多刺

180
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‪或是有體味、很不受歡迎

181
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‪我現在40幾歲

182
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‪我覺得我有一大半的人生
‪都在看人臉色過日子

183
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‪你們覺得我最常看誰臉色？

184
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‪-姜鎬童
‪-姜鎬童

185
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‪你們馬上就猜對了耶

186
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‪感覺大家都知道

187
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‪這是姜鎬童

188
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:54,166
‪我只是隻竹篙頭

189
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:58,371
‪但姜鎬童是身長超過一公尺
‪十分嚇人的黃尾鰤

190
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,206
‪非常巨大

191
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,375
‪釣到這種魚，要拉上來的時候

192
00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:04,877
‪牠給人的感覺
‪彷彿在大喊：“放開我！”

193
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,613
‪牠真的巨大到好像聽得見牠的掙扎

194
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:11,984
‪前陣子我釣到一隻
‪超過一公尺的黃尾鰤

195
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,320
‪非常大一隻，對，這就是我釣到的

196
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,822
‪是在聖誕節特輯那集

197
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,659
‪我費了九牛二虎之力才把牠拉上岸

198
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,694
‪姜鎬童就是演藝圈的黃尾鰤

199
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:23,930
‪而且還不只是普通的黃尾鰤

200
00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:25,831
‪是破壞型黃尾鰤

201
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:29,402
‪他的力氣跟威力太驚人了

202
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:31,771
‪我是在《兩天一夜》
‪這個節目認識他的

203
00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:33,372
‪-兩天！
‪-一夜！

204
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:34,807
‪一夜！

205
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:36,842
‪你們回答“兩天”的英文就行了

206
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:40,012
‪不過這樣大家就知道
‪這是在韓國錄的節目了

207
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,149
‪你們應該都知道成員有誰

208
00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:46,085
‪陣容非常華麗，各個都是知名藝人

209
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:49,088
‪我們錄《兩天一夜》
‪會常常睡在室外嘛

210
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,257
‪要不就是帳篷，要不就是露天

211
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:54,260
‪後來我實在太厭倦野外生活
‪覺得應該做點別的事

212
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,162
‪所以也曾在家裡閉門思過

213
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,764
‪比餐風露宿好多了

214
00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:01,334
‪朴聖光也在鼓掌

215
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,835
‪我曾在家閉門思過

216
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:05,104
‪那個節目剛開始

217
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:06,772
‪真的很辛苦

218
00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:10,209
{\an8}‪本來我只錄過《搞笑演唱會》
‪那種寫好腳本的節目

219
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,245
{\an8}‪突然上這種綜藝節目
‪我真的很手足無措

220
00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:14,614
‪開始錄影的時候

221
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,983
‪我根本不敢看鏡頭

222
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,385
‪只是一味地盯著黃尾鰤看

223
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,654
‪我就這樣不知所措地看著鎬童哥

224
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:23,289
‪完全不知道該怎麼辦

225
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,791
‪後來我覺得這樣不行
‪得先做好被分配的事

226
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,393
‪別太急著想要搞笑

227
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,961
‪先做好他們交代我的事就好

228
00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:30,463
‪所以我決定要認真

229
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:33,165
‪後來我終於

230
00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:36,335
‪得到黃尾鰤姜鎬童的稱讚了

231
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,603
‪因為我開車技術好

232
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:39,905
‪有些人知道吧

233
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:43,242
‪他說：“我都沒感覺到你踩煞車
‪車什麼時候停下來的？

234
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,711
‪車子左轉我怎麼一點感覺都沒有？

235
00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:48,147
‪我們明明從家裡出發
‪怎麼這麼快就到江原道了？”

236
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,282
‪當時我用來跑通告的車

237
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,785
‪很多藝人都用這個車款
‪是起亞的嘉華

238
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,854
‪為了有嘉年華的感覺

239
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,522
‪我大概換了六臺吧

240
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:59,225
‪那時候他們會在我車上架攝影機

241
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:01,260
‪通通都是貼膠帶固定

242
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:04,463
‪現在設備比較先進了
‪可以直接單點固定

243
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:07,099
‪但以前只能貼一堆膠帶

244
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,069
‪膠帶撕下來的殘膠還去不掉

245
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:11,904
‪有一次我太累，在車上睡著

246
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:15,107
‪等到抵達下一個通告地點
‪有人叫我下車時

247
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:18,344
‪我才發現手被膠帶的殘膠黏住了

248
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,746
‪感情不好的夫妻
‪要是用這種膠帶黏在一起

249
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:24,984
‪一定可以變得相親相愛、琴瑟和鳴

250
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:27,186
‪這種強力膠帶真的很厲害

251
00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:28,954
‪但畢竟我也是人嘛

252
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,923
‪開車開久了也會累

253
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:33,159
‪有一次我真的開了很久的車

254
00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:34,827
‪但車上的其他人…

255
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:37,596
‪車上為什麼要架攝影機？
‪就是希望他們跟我聊天嘛

256
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:40,566
‪結果所有人睡到嘴巴開開、東倒西歪

257
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:43,669
‪殷志源的頭還一直撞到車窗
‪醒了之後又繼續撞

258
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:44,870
‪但他還是繼續睡

259
00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:47,506
‪然後鎬童哥就在副駕一直打呼

260
00:11:47,573 --> 00:11:49,575
‪我火氣就上來了
‪沒有半個人要跟我講話

261
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:53,746
‪我心裡就想：“他們真的把我
‪當司機嗎？我在這個團隊算什麼？”

262
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:55,981
‪車子行經東江時的景色很美

263
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:59,652
‪但是必須非常小心行駛
‪因為旁邊就是陡峭的懸崖

264
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,088
‪那時我突然有個想法
‪“我要不要直接開下懸崖？

265
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,390
‪順勢成為主要主持人

266
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:08,060
‪我就湊個自己喜歡的六人陣容
‪接管《兩天一夜》”

267
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:09,695
‪就在我這麼想的時候

268
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,130
‪我看到駕駛座後方

269
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:12,898
‪昇基

270
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,102
‪雙手擺得好好的

271
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:18,437
‪睡著也不會打呼

272
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:21,207
‪我就覺得為了他，我不能這麼殘忍

273
00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:24,310
‪還有一點，就是我看著鎬童哥時想到

274
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:27,813
‪即便我們真的掉下懸崖
‪他的頭已經等於一頂安全帽

275
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,648
‪如果他活下來了…

276
00:12:29,715 --> 00:12:32,251
‪他沒事的話，大家都知道會怎麼樣吧

277
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:35,888
‪未來的日子我可能會更生不如死

278
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:39,625
‪所以我就打消了那個不好的念頭

279
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:42,595
‪重新變回笑容滿面的樣子

280
00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:45,464
‪我那段時間真的太常開車

281
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,467
‪開到很厭煩
‪一直到現在我都還是盡量不開車

282
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:49,702
‪如果去到很遠的地方

283
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:53,072
‪就算我沒喝酒，也會叫代駕
‪一直請代駕開車

284
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,040
‪後來因為太常叫代駕

285
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:56,942
‪我甚至變成代言人
‪廣告歌都聽過吧？

286
00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:58,844
‪一，二，三，四

287
00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:00,479
‪前後一樣的…

288
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:01,580
‪-電話號碼
‪-電話號碼

289
00:13:01,647 --> 00:13:02,815
‪這件事就是這樣來的

290
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:05,818
‪做人要表裡如一，對吧？

291
00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:09,088
‪姜鎬童這個人呢

292
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,357
‪如果有人入了他的眼

293
00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:13,392
‪他就有本事讓這個人聲名大噪

294
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,895
‪比如他以前會大喊：“昇基！”
‪你們記得吧？

295
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:17,696
‪那時候我可能也引起了他的注意

296
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:20,132
‪我們第一次開機那天，要錄開場

297
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,801
‪他就請大家一一自我介紹

298
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,469
‪“大家好，我是殷志源”

299
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,504
‪輪到昇基，他就提他的歌詞
‪“因為姐姐是我的女人”

300
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:29,041
‪雖然沒有人知道這個姐姐存不存在
‪反正就是做效果嘛

301
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:31,610
‪接著輪到我的時候

302
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:33,646
‪鎬童哥就突然說：“各位

303
00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:35,648
‪接下來是這個世代最厲害的諧星

304
00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:40,386
‪他光是自我介紹就能
‪立刻引起哄堂大笑

305
00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:43,556
‪擁有非常優秀的搞笑實力

306
00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:45,524
‪現在輪到他自我介紹了

307
00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:49,028
‪各位，請你們拭目以待吧！”

308
00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:51,697
‪他這樣根本是在挖洞給我跳

309
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:54,099
‪你們懂我的意思吧？那時候

310
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,302
‪我背後狂冒冷汗

311
00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:58,003
‪我到現在都還會做惡夢

312
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,906
‪可是你們知道嗎？
‪後來我真的做了搞怪式的問好

313
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:04,443
‪“各位觀眾朋友，大家好喔”

314
00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:07,713
‪這句話大家應該有印象
‪後來還拍了廣告

315
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:10,616
‪那時候我滿常看姜鎬童臉色的

316
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,318
‪不過現在

317
00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:14,587
‪其實鎬童哥也會顧慮我的感受了

318
00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:16,455
‪“壽根，你把手放在臉上

319
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,524
‪我要打你巴掌，你做個樣子”

320
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,492
‪等他打過來，我就假裝被打

321
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,761
‪如果是以前，他叫完我名字
‪就會直接打了

322
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,932
‪他現在比較小心，這樣你們懂吧？

323
00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:29,702
‪我能逐漸找到自己的定位

324
00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:32,972
‪讓我們互動產生這樣的變化
‪可以說是多虧了姜鎬童前輩

325
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:36,141
‪另外還有個關鍵性的原因
‪可能有人還記得

326
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:37,843
‪我們錄《兩天一夜》的時候

327
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:41,513
‪有一次是大家一起上山出遊
‪還準備了茶點

328
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,148
‪然後有人帶了柿子

329
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,884
‪本來可以直接吃就好

330
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:46,652
‪但鎬童哥突然就發問了

331
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:50,055
‪“你們知道柿子的英文是什麼嗎？”

332
00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:52,524
‪假設當時昇基知道答案
‪這個話題就結束了

333
00:14:52,591 --> 00:14:53,859
‪也不會有笑點

334
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,961
‪但昇基也想不出來

335
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:57,363
‪沒有人知道答案是什麼

336
00:14:57,429 --> 00:15:00,366
‪於是這時候我就覺得
‪應該把握機會搞笑一下

337
00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:02,201
‪我就說：“你們都不知道嗎？

338
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:04,370
‪開頭是咬舌音

339
00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:07,907
‪‘澀’”

340
00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:10,442
‪我一說完，所有人笑翻

341
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:11,744
‪這戳到鎬童哥的笑點

342
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:13,579
‪他說：“那橘子呢？”

343
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,014
‪“橘子？‘酸’”

344
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,383
‪“酸”啊，很完美吧？

345
00:15:17,449 --> 00:15:19,418
‪但其實回答橘子的時候我有點猶豫

346
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:23,055
‪不知道“酸”和“濟州”哪個比較好

347
00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:24,089
‪很難抉擇

348
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:25,858
‪所有水果的英文都難不倒我

349
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,459
‪你們知道西瓜的英文嗎？

350
00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:29,061
‪一個音節就夠了，“呸”

351
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:31,764
‪還有什麼水果？

352
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:32,765
‪-什麼？
‪-香蕉

353
00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:34,166
‪韓文的香蕉已經是外來語了

354
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:38,470
‪那已經是英文了

355
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:40,940
‪香瓜？唉唷

356
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,474
‪香瓜英文有點長喔

357
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,610
‪“大號時會有籽”

358
00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:49,148
‪“大號時會有籽”
‪這就是香瓜的英文

359
00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:51,016
‪不要假裝聽不懂

360
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:54,219
‪雖然我很常看鎬童哥的臉色

361
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:58,357
‪但最近繼鎬童哥之後

362
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:01,894
‪出現了第二個讓我不敢得罪的人物

363
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,195
‪那就是…

364
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:06,932
‪這個人

365
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,101
‪他就是身上帶有劇毒

366
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:10,869
‪總是在生氣

367
00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:12,304
‪臉頰鼓脹

368
00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:14,440
‪隨時可以發動毒舌攻擊的

369
00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:16,508
‪李敬揆前輩

370
00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:18,110
‪不久前我遇到他

371
00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:22,715
‪我說：“前輩，最近Netflix
‪找我辦一場站立喜劇

372
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:25,384
‪節目名稱叫《察言觀色大師》”

373
00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:28,587
‪他馬上回我：“什麼？
‪什麼《察言觀色大師》？”

374
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,923
‪明明可以好好講，他一定要用吼的

375
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,727
‪然後我就問他能不能用河魨代表他

376
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:37,629
‪他說：“不對，我不是普通河魨
‪我是黃鰭多紀魨！

377
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,265
‪黃鰭多紀魨多好吃啊

378
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,234
‪但如果毒沒清乾淨，吃了就會沒命”

379
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:46,405
‪對他好的人，他一定是掏心掏肺

380
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:49,241
‪但如果得罪他，他掏的就是劇毒了

381
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,610
‪他常常會皺著眉頭

382
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,978
‪代表他準備發動攻擊

383
00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:54,880
‪就像貼著膠帶一樣

384
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,615
{\an8}‪我們去釣魚的時候

385
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,385
{\an8}‪什麼事都能惹他生氣

386
00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:01,186
{\an8}‪天氣太好也要生氣

387
00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:02,621
‪下雨也要生氣

388
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,823
‪釣不到魚就怪船長

389
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:06,025
‪“為什麼要挑今天？”

390
00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:07,793
‪魚竿有動靜，他就叫我們閉嘴

391
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:08,961
‪如果釣到很多魚

392
00:17:09,027 --> 00:17:10,763
‪他還會抱怨手痠

393
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:14,400
‪但有時候敬揆前輩
‪在船上待久了，他也會累

394
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:17,636
‪他累了就會開玩笑
‪這時候就要懂得察言觀色

395
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:22,207
‪必須知道他是在開玩笑
‪還是認真地在提問

396
00:17:22,274 --> 00:17:24,443
‪我畢竟是長時間跟他相處的人

397
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,478
‪所以我一看就知道他是不是在開玩笑

398
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,313
‪如果他在釣魚的時候

399
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:31,583
‪突然跟我說：“你看什麼？”

400
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:34,653
‪我就要馬上反應
‪所以我就回他：“我在看敬揆”

401
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:37,189
‪他如果說：“你誰啊？”
‪我就回：“敬揆的後輩”

402
00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:39,792
‪“看看你這臭小子”
‪“那就看好了，臭小子

403
00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:41,693
‪你看啊，臭小子”
‪這樣他就會被我逗笑

404
00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:45,631
‪他會很高興我陪他玩

405
00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:47,533
‪但有些人不懂得察言觀色

406
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:51,270
‪敬揆前輩開玩笑的時候語氣會比較重

407
00:17:51,336 --> 00:17:53,205
‪“你看什麼？”，這樣就是在開玩笑

408
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:55,307
‪但有時候他會比較嚴肅

409
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,042
‪“你看什麼？”，就像這樣

410
00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:59,445
‪這種語氣就代表他真的心情不好

411
00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:02,448
‪這時候他的意思
‪就是叫你別開玩笑、不要看他

412
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:04,516
‪但有的成員就不會分辨

413
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,185
‪我就不說是誰了

414
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,120
‪敬揆前輩說：“你看什麼？”

415
00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:09,388
‪他就會說：“你說呢？

416
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:13,158
‪我在用眼角膜掃描你的樣子
‪認真看看你

417
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:16,762
‪你為什麼要用那張嘴找我碴？”

418
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:17,663
‪就有人會這樣

419
00:18:17,729 --> 00:18:21,033
‪-池相烈
‪-被猜到了，就是池相烈

420
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:24,703
‪然後敬揆前輩就會說：“你搞什麼？

421
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,138
‪這又不能播

422
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:28,240
‪你神經病啊？”，大家都懂吧？

423
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:30,242
‪所以要懂得察言觀色

424
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,945
‪我現在在搞笑界
‪也算是前輩級的人物了

425
00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:36,215
‪可是平常在節目上
‪我很常跟鎬童哥或敬揆前輩一起出現

426
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:38,784
‪很多人會覺得我年紀比較輕

427
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,719
‪但其實我已經算資深了

428
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:41,920
‪去錄影的時候

429
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:46,325
{\an8}‪我除了怕得罪前輩
‪跟後輩互動也會很小心

430
00:18:46,391 --> 00:18:49,128
{\an8}‪我很常在節目上遇到偶像團體

431
00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:52,898
‪去電視臺上班的時候
‪我通常都會穿自己的便服

432
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,434
‪但看到他們年輕人穿些奇怪的便服…

433
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:57,069
‪在我眼裡很奇怪啦

434
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,370
‪是我無法理解的服裝

435
00:18:58,437 --> 00:19:02,074
‪他們穿的都是名牌，但我就是看不懂

436
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,108
‪你們覺得我在說誰？

437
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,345
‪宋旻浩，MINO

438
00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:07,779
‪他的服裝很花俏

439
00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:09,915
‪十幾二十歲的人很喜歡他們

440
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,517
‪但我不懂

441
00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,285
‪我不懂他們的打扮，雖然都是名牌

442
00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:15,053
‪我初次見到MINO時是這樣跟他打招呼

443
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,822
‪“嗨！噹噹

444
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:17,890
‪噹噹，你好嗎？”

445
00:19:17,956 --> 00:19:19,892
‪他說：“哥，什麼是‘噹噹’？”

446
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:21,426
‪我說：“叮叮噹噹”

447
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,362
‪因為他戴了很多金屬飾品

448
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:27,199
‪那位觀眾笑得這麼開心
‪應該是MINO的粉絲

449
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:31,003
‪可能我有個刻板印象
‪覺得那是普遍級的節目

450
00:19:31,069 --> 00:19:33,338
‪我們的服儀應該要簡單俐落一點

451
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:36,842
‪所以我說：“你這什麼風格啊？”
‪他就回我：“怎樣？這我的風格啊”

452
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:41,380
‪那是我回應敬揆前輩的方式
‪現在換他那樣回應我了

453
00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:43,482
‪我突然間有所領悟

454
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:46,451
‪其實他們有自己的風格

455
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:50,088
‪與其去批評他們，不如給予認可就好

456
00:19:50,155 --> 00:19:53,058
‪跟現在比起來，以前的節目

457
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:55,327
{\an8}‪更需要察言觀色的能力

458
00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:57,996
{\an8}‪比如說要錄隱藏攝影機的企劃

459
00:19:58,063 --> 00:19:59,731
‪攝影機位置超明顯

460
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,334
‪然後就接到電話

461
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:04,803
‪“可以借我四千萬韓元急用嗎？”

462
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,471
‪但因為我們知道攝影機在拍

463
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,774
‪就要回答：“你怎麼了？
‪好，快把帳號告訴我吧”

464
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,009
‪但哪有人會突然這樣？
‪我們都心知肚明

465
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:13,512
‪卻還要在那邊裝傻
‪這種企劃以前很常見

466
00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:16,348
‪以前最尷尬的是電視臺

467
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:18,116
‪經常會請催眠師上節目

468
00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:20,152
‪笑出來的人應該都記得

469
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,222
‪那時候我和其他幾名諧星
‪一起在休息室等

470
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:24,656
‪主製作人就走進來了

471
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:27,559
‪跟我們說：“這個催眠師
‪真的很厲害，你們一定會被嚇到

472
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:32,130
‪我們事前請十位工作人員接受測試
‪結果他們通通被催眠了

473
00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:34,166
‪有人見到過世的媽媽，淚流滿面

474
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,635
‪甚至還有人說什麼自己上輩子是公主

475
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,403
‪十個人都被催眠了”

476
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:39,638
‪他為什麼要跟我們說這些？

477
00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:42,541
‪-要你們配合演出
‪-他就是希望我們

478
00:20:43,508 --> 00:20:45,644
‪能夠盡量配合演出

479
00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:47,579
‪只是很拐彎抹角

480
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:49,982
‪我會察言觀色
‪所以我已經知道他的意思了

481
00:20:50,048 --> 00:20:51,283
‪接著我就進去錄影

482
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:53,885
‪“請你看著這顆水晶球

483
00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:58,991
‪好，待會你一聽到我說‘紅太陽’
‪就會陷入沉睡

484
00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:00,659
‪紅太陽”

485
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:02,961
‪通常睡著就是這個樣子嘛

486
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,696
‪但我想說反應要做足

487
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,231
‪所以催眠師一說：“紅太陽”

488
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:10,335
‪我就讓頭掉下來了
‪這就是諧星的特徵

489
00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:13,005
‪因為我一直想到製作人的臉

490
00:21:13,071 --> 00:21:14,473
‪一心想著要好好表現

491
00:21:14,539 --> 00:21:16,908
‪不停思考：“他會問什麼問題？

492
00:21:16,975 --> 00:21:18,110
‪我要怎麼回答？”

493
00:21:18,176 --> 00:21:20,379
‪我滿腦子都是這些

494
00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:21,913
‪然後催眠師就問我

495
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:25,017
‪“壽根，你現在人在哪裡？”

496
00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:26,385
‪“你旁邊

497
00:21:26,818 --> 00:21:28,186
‪我就在你旁邊啊”

498
00:21:28,253 --> 00:21:29,354
‪“那你旁邊有誰呢？”

499
00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:31,590
‪“還有誰？不就你嗎？
‪這裡只有我們兩個人”

500
00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:34,059
‪我覺得這樣回答一定會很好笑

501
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,994
‪但又不能這樣回答

502
00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:39,931
‪我就說：“我看到煙囪了

503
00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:42,734
‪有人在爐灶生火”

504
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:45,337
‪他問：“那個人是誰？”
‪我說：“好像是我奶奶

505
00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:48,407
‪我奶奶在哭”

506
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:50,242
‪我根本沒有被催眠

507
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,910
‪只是一直在編故事

508
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,478
‪然後他又接著問

509
00:21:53,545 --> 00:21:56,381
‪“你奶奶為什麼在哭？”

510
00:21:56,448 --> 00:21:58,016
‪“因為你啊”

511
00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,786
‪我很想這樣回答，但又不能

512
00:22:00,852 --> 00:22:02,120
‪我只好說：“我不知道

513
00:22:02,187 --> 00:22:04,156
‪她就是一直在哭”

514
00:22:04,222 --> 00:22:07,893
‪於是催眠師信心大增
‪他相信我已經被催眠了

515
00:22:07,959 --> 00:22:09,995
‪然後他突然拿了一個東西給我

516
00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:11,997
‪我一接手就聞到洋蔥的味道

517
00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:15,500
‪他說：“現在不管你吃到什麼

518
00:22:16,034 --> 00:22:18,136
‪都會覺得是好吃的蘋果

519
00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:19,471
‪你會吃到一顆蘋果”

520
00:22:19,538 --> 00:22:21,907
‪但那很明顯就是一顆洋蔥

521
00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:26,111
‪然後他就一直要塞給我吃

522
00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:30,882
‪但我都已經聞到味道了

523
00:22:30,949 --> 00:22:33,919
‪接著我咬了一口

524
00:22:33,985 --> 00:22:36,254
‪然後我就開始流眼淚

525
00:22:36,321 --> 00:22:39,591
‪但我又不能說我吃到洋蔥

526
00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:41,326
‪只好說：“這是什麼？

527
00:22:41,393 --> 00:22:44,863
‪我從來沒吃過這麼好吃的蘋果

528
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:48,100
‪好好吃，奶奶，妳也吃一口吧

529
00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:49,868
‪奶奶，妳也吃啊”

530
00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:51,503
‪催眠師問：“你奶奶怎麼說呢？”

531
00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:54,306
‪我就說：“我奶奶罵我瘋子
‪她說這不能吃

532
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:57,109
‪說我怎麼能拿這種東西給她吃”

533
00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:59,444
‪他就知道該收尾了
‪“接下來你會從沉睡中甦醒”

534
00:22:59,511 --> 00:23:02,280
‪於是製作人就在後臺給了我一個暗示

535
00:23:02,347 --> 00:23:03,749
‪表示很滿意

536
00:23:03,815 --> 00:23:05,150
‪但是不懂得察言觀色的人

537
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:07,552
‪一吃到洋蔥，反應就會很大

538
00:23:07,619 --> 00:23:09,521
‪再重新給他們一顆還是一樣

539
00:23:09,588 --> 00:23:12,691
‪大概吃到第五顆
‪他們才知道要說：“好好吃”

540
00:23:15,427 --> 00:23:16,695
‪懂吧？他們太遲鈍了

541
00:23:16,762 --> 00:23:21,133
‪所以錄節目反應真的要夠靈敏

542
00:23:21,199 --> 00:23:23,602
‪我算是一個很機靈的人

543
00:23:23,668 --> 00:23:26,171
{\an8}‪我以為我的小孩也會很機靈

544
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,940
{\an8}‪但是看來這跟基因完全無關

545
00:23:29,007 --> 00:23:32,010
{\an8}‪我會察言觀色都是自己摸索來的

546
00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:35,747
‪我的其中一個兒子叫泰俊
‪最近在練體操

547
00:23:35,814 --> 00:23:37,048
‪他是我的大兒子

548
00:23:37,115 --> 00:23:40,952
‪在一個叫特卡切夫的體操館
‪讓你們看一下畫面

549
00:23:41,019 --> 00:23:42,621
‪他在練體操

550
00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:44,756
‪他現在國一

551
00:23:44,823 --> 00:23:47,292
‪你們看，身體撐在半空中

552
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,261
‪這就是他練體操的樣子

553
00:23:50,629 --> 00:23:52,197
‪還有這樣撐在單槓上

554
00:23:52,798 --> 00:23:55,600
‪他都在練這種很難的動作

555
00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:57,736
‪有一次我聽到他在房間裡笑

556
00:23:57,803 --> 00:23:59,971
‪聽起來像在問人問題

557
00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:01,239
‪我就去看了一下

558
00:24:01,306 --> 00:24:04,209
‪發現他在看直播

559
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:06,778
‪乍看之下我還以為觀眾有幾百個人

560
00:24:06,845 --> 00:24:08,346
‪結果仔細一看只有三個

561
00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:11,283
‪我兒子留言回得最勤

562
00:24:11,349 --> 00:24:12,751
‪有一天，他很認真地跟我說

563
00:24:12,818 --> 00:24:15,420
‪“爸，我想去美國”

564
00:24:15,487 --> 00:24:18,056
‪我想說兒子是不是開始懂事了

565
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:20,392
‪他可能覺得去美國可以增廣見聞

566
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:24,129
‪可以學英文，體驗很多不一樣的事物

567
00:24:24,196 --> 00:24:27,532
‪那我一定要排除萬難，大力支持他

568
00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:28,600
‪我就問他

569
00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:31,036
‪“泰俊，你怎麼突然想去美國？”

570
00:24:31,102 --> 00:24:34,306
‪結果他回我：“美國有很多單槓啊”

571
00:24:35,006 --> 00:24:36,608
‪美國有很多單槓嗎？

572
00:24:36,675 --> 00:24:39,444
‪這裡應該有美國Netflix的員工吧

573
00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:41,813
‪我真的很想請教他們

574
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,316
‪“到底有多少單槓？

575
00:24:44,382 --> 00:24:47,552
‪美國到底有多少單槓？”

576
00:24:47,619 --> 00:24:51,089
‪我真不知道是誰告訴他
‪美國有很多單槓的

577
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:55,026
‪那個人今晚還會在YouTube開直播
‪我打算親自去問問他

578
00:24:55,093 --> 00:24:56,495
‪去問那個泰俊的偶像

579
00:24:56,561 --> 00:24:58,663
‪有我加入他就有四個觀眾了

580
00:24:58,730 --> 00:25:01,166
‪他一定知道答案吧

581
00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:06,171
‪所以我就發現
‪原來察言觀色的能力不會遺傳

582
00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:08,540
‪我還有個小兒子

583
00:25:08,607 --> 00:25:09,975
‪小兒子跟我比較像

584
00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:13,812
‪有一次，我對小兒子…
‪那天我先喝了一點小酒

585
00:25:13,879 --> 00:25:16,648
‪我太太跟兩個兒子都在
‪我就認真跟他們說

586
00:25:16,715 --> 00:25:19,584
‪“過段時間我就要跟媽媽去鄉下
‪蓋間小房子

587
00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:21,686
‪然後就在那邊住到老死

588
00:25:21,753 --> 00:25:23,788
‪媽媽如果先走，我也會追隨她的腳步

589
00:25:23,855 --> 00:25:26,191
‪這就是我們的晚年
‪所以你們想怎麼生活自己決定

590
00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:27,826
‪不要再跟我提單槓的事”

591
00:25:27,893 --> 00:25:30,028
‪因為他們老是胡說八道
‪我不得不嚴肅一點

592
00:25:30,095 --> 00:25:32,330
‪接著我就說
‪“但我會留一些錢給你們”

593
00:25:32,397 --> 00:25:35,534
‪這時候小兒子泰書就說
‪“爸爸，你不能就這樣離開”

594
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,969
‪我說：“為什麼？
‪爸爸為什麼不能走？”

595
00:25:38,036 --> 00:25:40,639
‪他說：“你要先告訴我們
‪錢在哪裡啊”

596
00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:42,874
‪我覺得太好笑了

597
00:25:42,941 --> 00:25:44,409
‪他真的這樣回我

598
00:25:44,476 --> 00:25:46,478
‪他反應很快，還知道要問我錢在哪裡

599
00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:49,948
‪但泰俊聽完這些話，反應就不一樣了
‪長子果然比較成熟

600
00:25:50,015 --> 00:25:52,017
‪他說：“喂，你怎麼可以把錢

601
00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:54,653
‪看得比爸媽的生死還重要？

602
00:25:54,719 --> 00:25:57,556
‪爸媽應該健健康康陪在我們身邊啊
‪你怎麼能說這種話？”

603
00:25:57,622 --> 00:26:01,459
‪然後他下一句就問我
‪“爸，你鄉下的房子會有單槓嗎？”

604
00:26:02,427 --> 00:26:04,663
‪這邊有點虛構的成分啦

605
00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:06,798
‪你們還喜歡嗎？

606
00:26:09,301 --> 00:26:12,170
‪我察言觀色的能力之所以會這麼好

607
00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:14,272
{\an8}‪主要應該是因為成長環境

608
00:26:14,339 --> 00:26:15,907
{\an8}‪我小時候經常轉學

609
00:26:15,974 --> 00:26:18,443
{\an8}‪六年級還參加了兩次畢業典禮

610
00:26:18,510 --> 00:26:21,446
‪現在回去看我小時候的照片

611
00:26:21,513 --> 00:26:24,482
‪都是在看人臉色的照片，各位請看

612
00:26:24,950 --> 00:26:26,318
‪我當時不知道在看什麼

613
00:26:26,384 --> 00:26:28,186
‪對吧？你們看

614
00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:30,255
‪這傢伙到底在看什麼？

615
00:26:30,322 --> 00:26:32,424
‪應該是在看著某個人吧

616
00:26:32,490 --> 00:26:33,792
‪小時候

617
00:26:34,292 --> 00:26:37,395
‪我有一次在國小操場

618
00:26:37,462 --> 00:26:39,698
‪跟朋友們踢足球

619
00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:41,866
‪當時我應該是三或四年級

620
00:26:41,933 --> 00:26:44,903
‪這是我們國小，我就在這裡踢足球

621
00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:48,807
‪突然有一臺耕耘機開進操場

622
00:26:48,873 --> 00:26:50,442
‪仔細一看

623
00:26:50,508 --> 00:26:52,711
‪耕耘機後面載著一個小櫃子

624
00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:53,645
‪對

625
00:26:54,546 --> 00:26:56,514
‪我剛剛說小櫃子，這個有點大

626
00:26:56,581 --> 00:26:58,350
‪沒關係，這樣就好

627
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:03,121
‪後面還有一臺電風扇

628
00:27:03,188 --> 00:27:05,190
‪電風扇也沒這麼大

629
00:27:05,256 --> 00:27:06,992
‪沒關係，不用改了

630
00:27:07,058 --> 00:27:08,627
‪總之有一臺電風扇

631
00:27:08,693 --> 00:27:10,962
‪我們還在踢球
‪耕耘機就這樣開進來了

632
00:27:11,029 --> 00:27:12,831
‪我想說那個駕駛瘋了吧

633
00:27:12,897 --> 00:27:15,433
‪小朋友還在踢球耶，這樣很危險

634
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,068
‪怎麼可以把耕耘機開進來？

635
00:27:17,135 --> 00:27:20,205
‪然後我仔細一看，才發現那是我爸

636
00:27:20,271 --> 00:27:22,440
‪我爸用耕耘機載著家具

637
00:27:22,507 --> 00:27:24,042
‪就這樣開過來了

638
00:27:24,109 --> 00:27:27,245
‪所以…等等，我爸那時候沒戴帽子

639
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:29,381
‪沒關係，就當他有戴吧，不用改了

640
00:27:29,447 --> 00:27:32,117
‪對，反正他就是突然出現

641
00:27:32,751 --> 00:27:34,519
‪然後叫我坐上耕耘機

642
00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:37,222
‪所以我就一如既往地跟朋友們說

643
00:27:37,288 --> 00:27:40,025
‪“明天見，我要先走了，抱歉”

644
00:27:40,425 --> 00:27:41,326
‪我們就出發了

645
00:27:41,393 --> 00:27:44,529
‪但我爸沒有開回家，而是完全反方向

646
00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:46,731
‪耕耘機就這樣一直開

647
00:27:46,798 --> 00:27:47,999
‪不停地開

648
00:27:48,066 --> 00:27:50,435
‪我爸偶爾會向後看

649
00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:52,470
‪但他不是為了確認我有沒有在後面

650
00:27:52,537 --> 00:27:55,040
‪而是擔心電風扇掉了

651
00:27:55,106 --> 00:27:58,076
‪我根本不用問他
‪反正我就乖乖坐在耕耘機上

652
00:27:58,143 --> 00:28:01,713
‪最後我們抵達一個陌生的新社區

653
00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:05,116
‪我爸就說：“這是你以後
‪要跟爸爸一起住的房子”

654
00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:07,886
‪然後旁邊有一所小小的學校

655
00:28:07,952 --> 00:28:10,922
‪他又說：“明天開始
‪那就是你的學校了”

656
00:28:10,989 --> 00:28:14,859
‪我還搞不清楚狀況
‪就有一個阿姨慢慢走過來

657
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,796
‪我在之前的社區見過她幾次

658
00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:20,832
‪我爸突然說：“以後你要叫她媽媽”

659
00:28:21,566 --> 00:28:24,002
‪我明明已經有媽媽了啊

660
00:28:24,069 --> 00:28:25,637
‪我到國中都還會尿床

661
00:28:26,304 --> 00:28:27,806
‪因為我睡覺的時候

662
00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:29,941
‪我爸和繼…

663
00:28:30,008 --> 00:28:32,377
‪我以前都叫阿姨，現在叫媽媽了

664
00:28:32,444 --> 00:28:34,713
‪她年紀大了，也跟我爸在一起很多年

665
00:28:34,779 --> 00:28:37,882
‪以前我不敢起床上廁所
‪我怕吵醒他們

666
00:28:37,949 --> 00:28:40,385
‪而且我爸有時候會這樣

667
00:28:40,452 --> 00:28:43,321
‪在我眼前揮手，確認我睡著了沒

668
00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:45,156
‪我不知道他為什麼要這樣

669
00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:47,859
‪反正我印象很深刻

670
00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:49,994
‪我不知道他的用意是什麼

671
00:28:50,061 --> 00:28:53,131
‪他不可能是要確認我是不是還活著嘛

672
00:28:53,198 --> 00:28:55,867
‪奇怪的是，連續好幾個月都這樣

673
00:28:55,934 --> 00:28:58,670
‪只要我在睡覺，他就會在我眼前揮手

674
00:29:00,038 --> 00:29:01,973
‪但我不曉得那是什麼意思

675
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,209
‪小時候不會想那麼多

676
00:29:04,275 --> 00:29:07,846
‪這副景象，最近這次連假

677
00:29:07,912 --> 00:29:10,048
‪我回鄉下重現了一次

678
00:29:10,115 --> 00:29:11,750
‪就是這張照片

679
00:29:11,816 --> 00:29:15,086
‪我過年連假返鄉的時候拍的

680
00:29:15,553 --> 00:29:18,289
‪我被切到了，我告訴你們為什麼

681
00:29:18,356 --> 00:29:20,825
‪因為社區裡找不到人幫我們拍照

682
00:29:20,892 --> 00:29:23,228
‪我爸80歲的年紀在那裡是最年輕的

683
00:29:23,294 --> 00:29:26,231
‪這是一個路過的老爺爺幫忙拍的
‪他已經快90歲了

684
00:29:26,297 --> 00:29:29,734
‪拍照應該按一下就放開
‪但他一直長按，拍成影片

685
00:29:29,801 --> 00:29:33,505
‪而且不知道他是怎麼按的
‪我手機裡有八張他的自拍照

686
00:29:33,972 --> 00:29:36,107
‪有些照片還看不到耕耘機全貌

687
00:29:36,174 --> 00:29:37,575
‪這已經是精挑細選過的了

688
00:29:37,642 --> 00:29:39,911
‪這張照片我要重現的是

689
00:29:39,978 --> 00:29:43,615
‪我在問我爸：“爸，我們要去哪？”

690
00:29:43,681 --> 00:29:46,151
‪那時候我爸的表情就是這樣

691
00:29:46,217 --> 00:29:49,187
‪現在他兒子出人頭地
‪會給他孝親費，他其實可以多笑

692
00:29:49,254 --> 00:29:51,523
‪但他基本上就是沒什麼表情

693
00:29:51,589 --> 00:29:54,526
‪後來我們拍完這張照片

694
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,763
‪過沒幾天
‪我爸身體就突然出了一點問題

695
00:29:58,830 --> 00:30:00,932
‪動了一場滿大的手術

696
00:30:00,999 --> 00:30:04,369
‪這時候講這個可能有點破壞氣氛

697
00:30:04,435 --> 00:30:07,105
‪但他就在上禮拜…

698
00:30:07,806 --> 00:30:09,574
‪完全康復了

699
00:30:11,442 --> 00:30:12,977
‪我接到電話

700
00:30:14,012 --> 00:30:15,413
‪說他現在很健康

701
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,750
‪我爸通常不太看人臉色的

702
00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:21,052
‪他一直是直來直往的個性

703
00:30:21,119 --> 00:30:22,754
‪小學的時候

704
00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:24,956
‪有一次我跟我哥早上醒來
‪發現我爸不見了

705
00:30:25,023 --> 00:30:26,991
‪我跟我哥整個驚慌失措

706
00:30:27,058 --> 00:30:28,560
‪家裡也沒東西吃

707
00:30:28,626 --> 00:30:30,995
‪我哥只好想辦法做點東西跟我一起吃

708
00:30:31,062 --> 00:30:33,398
‪我爸到第三天才回來

709
00:30:33,464 --> 00:30:35,867
‪我們問他去哪裡了
‪他說：“我去旅遊”

710
00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:38,102
‪他去旅遊了

711
00:30:38,169 --> 00:30:41,139
‪“那你應該給我們零用錢啊”
‪他說：“我有啊，你們沒找到嗎？”

712
00:30:41,206 --> 00:30:43,341
‪然後他就在房間裡的一個角落

713
00:30:43,408 --> 00:30:46,377
‪撿起一團紙球給我們
‪攤開是五千韓元

714
00:30:46,444 --> 00:30:48,580
‪他是揉一揉丟進來的

715
00:30:48,646 --> 00:30:50,715
‪有一年的平安夜吧

716
00:30:50,782 --> 00:30:53,084
‪我爸說：“明天是聖誕節耶”

717
00:30:53,151 --> 00:30:55,086
‪他就說這麼一句，沒有說其他的話

718
00:30:55,153 --> 00:30:57,288
‪我跟我哥就想
‪“爸知道明天是聖誕節？”

719
00:30:57,355 --> 00:31:00,992
‪所以晚上睡前
‪我們就拿了我爸的軍用長襪

720
00:31:01,059 --> 00:31:02,594
‪很大一雙

721
00:31:02,660 --> 00:31:04,963
‪我跟我哥睡前一人掛了一隻

722
00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:08,166
‪隔天早上醒來，我爸把襪子穿出門了

723
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:11,603
‪他已經拿去穿了

724
00:31:11,669 --> 00:31:15,139
‪可能因為聖誕節
‪他想穿厚一點的襪子吧

725
00:31:16,007 --> 00:31:19,978
‪這就是我跟我哥關於聖誕節的回憶

726
00:31:20,044 --> 00:31:24,249
‪有一次電視臺跟我要週歲的照片

727
00:31:24,315 --> 00:31:27,218
‪我就打電話問我爸
‪有沒有我週歲的照片

728
00:31:27,285 --> 00:31:28,786
‪他說沒有，我問他為什麼

729
00:31:28,853 --> 00:31:30,755
‪他說：“因為沒幫你辦週歲宴啊”

730
00:31:30,822 --> 00:31:34,125
‪我沒有照片，所以我就找炳萬幫忙

731
00:31:34,192 --> 00:31:37,996
‪我找了一輪
‪發現跟我長得最像的就是炳萬了

732
00:31:38,062 --> 00:31:41,599
‪我問他有沒有週歲的照片
‪結果他真的有

733
00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:44,502
‪據我所知
‪當時他的家境應該也沒那麼好

734
00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:47,005
‪這是金炳萬

735
00:31:47,071 --> 00:31:49,274
‪但嬰兒時期誰認得出來？
‪所以我就去問我爸

736
00:31:49,340 --> 00:31:52,644
‪這張照片像不像我
‪他說：“跟你長得一模一樣

737
00:31:52,710 --> 00:31:57,081
‪說這是你也沒人會懷疑
‪一副聰明樣”

738
00:31:57,148 --> 00:31:59,117
‪我本來以為他會跟我道歉

739
00:31:59,183 --> 00:32:02,320
‪說他以前怎麼樣之類的
‪結果他說跟我長得一模一樣

740
00:32:02,387 --> 00:32:04,322
‪既然提到小孩了

741
00:32:04,389 --> 00:32:06,724
{\an8}‪你們有見過特色不鮮明的小孩嗎？

742
00:32:06,791 --> 00:32:09,794
{\an8}‪並不是每個小孩都會很漂亮或很可愛

743
00:32:09,861 --> 00:32:12,597
‪有時候朋友帶小孩來

744
00:32:12,664 --> 00:32:14,365
‪我看到會這樣

745
00:32:14,432 --> 00:32:17,936
‪“天啊！我的天啊！

746
00:32:18,002 --> 00:32:19,637
‪他長這麼大了啊

747
00:32:19,704 --> 00:32:22,106
‪感覺你老婆不久前才懷孕而已

748
00:32:22,173 --> 00:32:26,711
‪天啊，怎麼長得這麼快？天啊”

749
00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:30,181
‪我就避開小孩的外貌不談
‪把焦點放在他的成長速度

750
00:32:30,248 --> 00:32:33,284
‪然後不停驚呼

751
00:32:33,351 --> 00:32:34,786
‪有時候就是這樣

752
00:32:35,253 --> 00:32:37,021
‪盡量不去冒犯到對方

753
00:32:37,088 --> 00:32:38,690
‪還有一種情形

754
00:32:38,756 --> 00:32:41,759
‪如果人家生了女兒
‪但我不小心說錯性別

755
00:32:41,826 --> 00:32:43,895
‪我就會馬上改口
‪“那你現在只缺兒子了耶

756
00:32:43,962 --> 00:32:47,131
‪女兒長得這麼漂亮
‪兒子一定也會長得很好看

757
00:32:47,198 --> 00:32:48,800
‪你會是很棒的爸爸”

758
00:32:48,866 --> 00:32:51,269
‪隨機應變的反應要很快

759
00:32:51,336 --> 00:32:54,339
‪我建議各位都先預設嬰兒是個女孩

760
00:32:54,405 --> 00:32:56,374
‪當你說：“天啊，小公主好可愛”

761
00:32:56,441 --> 00:32:59,477
‪這樣即便他是男孩
‪媽媽聽了也會很開心

762
00:32:59,544 --> 00:33:02,580
‪被糾正就說：“他是男生啊？
‪那也太漂亮了吧

763
00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:05,550
‪一定是遺傳到媽媽”
‪這樣就不會冒犯到對方了

764
00:33:06,017 --> 00:33:09,087
‪各位結婚禮金通常都包多少？
‪這有常規嗎？

765
00:33:09,153 --> 00:33:11,089
‪普通朋友包5萬韓元

766
00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:12,857
‪很好的朋友包10萬韓元

767
00:33:12,924 --> 00:33:16,928
‪如果是親人就包20萬至30萬韓元

768
00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:19,297
‪如果五、六年沒聯絡了
‪突然間傳來婚訊

769
00:33:19,364 --> 00:33:21,165
‪那傳個貼圖回去就好

770
00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:23,501
‪傳貼圖就夠了

771
00:33:23,568 --> 00:33:25,670
‪一旦回覆訊息，恭喜對方

772
00:33:25,737 --> 00:33:27,405
‪有了對話，那就非去不可了

773
00:33:27,472 --> 00:33:30,108
‪如果只傳個貼圖
‪對方就會知道沒戲唱

774
00:33:30,174 --> 00:33:32,010
‪所以這樣就好，不能有對話

775
00:33:32,076 --> 00:33:33,311
‪這很尷尬吧？

776
00:33:33,378 --> 00:33:35,847
‪有個跟我交情普通的朋友
‪請我去參加婚禮

777
00:33:35,913 --> 00:33:37,482
‪於是我帶了10萬韓元

778
00:33:37,548 --> 00:33:40,051
‪到現場遇到另一個朋友
‪他還沒準備現金

779
00:33:40,118 --> 00:33:42,086
‪我就陪他去找提款機

780
00:33:42,153 --> 00:33:44,889
‪然後我看他領了20萬韓元

781
00:33:44,956 --> 00:33:48,126
‪但是我們兩個之中
‪是我跟新郎的交情更好一點

782
00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:51,129
‪我怕如果我只包10萬韓元
‪新郎會很失望

783
00:33:51,195 --> 00:33:54,365
‪可惡，所以我又領了20萬韓元

784
00:33:54,899 --> 00:33:56,768
‪因為我覺得我應該要
‪比他多包10萬韓元

785
00:33:56,834 --> 00:33:58,369
‪接著我就去交了30萬韓元的禮金

786
00:33:58,436 --> 00:34:00,805
‪然後輪到我朋友
‪他應該會交20萬韓元嘛

787
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:04,375
‪結果他要了四個信封
‪分別裝了5萬韓元

788
00:34:04,442 --> 00:34:06,711
‪那些禮金他是幫別人轉交的

789
00:34:06,778 --> 00:34:08,946
‪可惡，我應該讓他先去交的

790
00:34:09,013 --> 00:34:11,049
‪這樣我就只要給10萬韓元

791
00:34:11,115 --> 00:34:14,652
‪我先交完了才看到他分四個信封

792
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,020
‪我能跟誰討？

793
00:34:16,988 --> 00:34:18,623
‪這樣是不是會很懊惱？

794
00:34:18,689 --> 00:34:19,891
‪不覺得很難算清楚嗎？

795
00:34:19,957 --> 00:34:24,228
‪這種狀況不只會發生在婚禮
‪週歲宴也一樣

796
00:34:24,629 --> 00:34:26,798
‪拿朴聖光來舉例好了

797
00:34:26,864 --> 00:34:30,368
‪這個我很喜歡的後輩
‪第一次要幫孩子辦週歲宴

798
00:34:30,435 --> 00:34:31,736
‪我是他前輩，交情也很深

799
00:34:31,803 --> 00:34:35,206
‪我準備大手筆包個100萬韓元給他

800
00:34:35,273 --> 00:34:37,141
‪身為他的前輩，這是應該的

801
00:34:38,309 --> 00:34:41,479
‪然後我帶著100萬韓元到了現場

802
00:34:41,546 --> 00:34:43,281
‪大聲恭喜聖光

803
00:34:43,347 --> 00:34:45,183
‪結果發現他太太已經懷了第二胎

804
00:34:45,249 --> 00:34:47,985
‪我心想不妙
‪如果這時候包100萬韓元

805
00:34:48,052 --> 00:34:51,222
‪那第二胎的週歲宴
‪不就又要包嗎？等等！

806
00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:55,660
‪我就先到洗手間收回50萬韓元

807
00:34:55,726 --> 00:34:58,629
‪改包50萬韓元給聖光，再道聲恭喜

808
00:34:58,696 --> 00:35:01,699
‪因為再過一年就要包第二次啦

809
00:35:01,766 --> 00:35:03,000
‪所以現在我改變做法了

810
00:35:03,067 --> 00:35:05,703
‪如果有人要辦週歲宴
‪我就會先打通電話去問

811
00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:07,405
‪“需要我幫忙主持抓週儀式嗎？”

812
00:35:08,206 --> 00:35:11,075
‪如果我幫忙主持…你們應該都懂吧？

813
00:35:11,142 --> 00:35:12,210
‪通常會有酬勞

814
00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:16,180
‪所以後來我會盡量用主持
‪來代替送禮金

815
00:35:16,247 --> 00:35:19,217
{\an8}‪以前我當過休閒活動講師，那時候

816
00:35:19,283 --> 00:35:21,786
{\an8}‪如果去到外縣市主持活動

817
00:35:21,853 --> 00:35:24,522
{\an8}‪各個地方都有不同的方言

818
00:35:24,589 --> 00:35:27,391
‪最讓我印象深刻的是忠清道方言

819
00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:30,027
‪忠清道方言是這樣，“算了，好了啦

820
00:35:30,094 --> 00:35:31,929
‪不要這樣”，聽起來很多“優”的音

821
00:35:31,996 --> 00:35:33,965
‪“下一位是IU”，就像這樣

822
00:35:34,031 --> 00:35:35,633
‪乍聽之下都是這個腔，但其實不是

823
00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:38,436
‪天安跟牙山那邊的方言很有趣

824
00:35:38,503 --> 00:35:41,639
‪我有個叫尚源的後輩就住在那裡

825
00:35:41,706 --> 00:35:44,342
‪比如我要走了
‪他就會說：“這麼快就要走了？

826
00:35:44,408 --> 00:35:47,945
‪跟我們一起吃完飯再走吧，嗯？”
‪就像這樣

827
00:35:48,012 --> 00:35:51,482
‪“跟我們一起吃完飯再走吧，嗯？”

828
00:35:51,549 --> 00:35:55,486
‪“哥，連假你都在幹嘛？
‪怎麼不打通電話呢？嗯？”

829
00:35:57,088 --> 00:35:59,423
‪就像李承哲唱歌拉長音那樣

830
00:35:59,490 --> 00:36:01,492
‪他講話真的就像那樣

831
00:36:01,559 --> 00:36:02,827
‪“哥，你在幹嘛？

832
00:36:02,894 --> 00:36:06,230
‪過來一起喝杯咖啡啊，嗯？”

833
00:36:06,297 --> 00:36:08,966
‪他幹嘛不整個句子一起拉長？

834
00:36:09,033 --> 00:36:10,902
‪前面講得這麼快

835
00:36:10,968 --> 00:36:12,803
‪句尾拉這麼長

836
00:36:12,870 --> 00:36:15,473
‪“下次有空再來玩啊，嗯？”

837
00:36:17,375 --> 00:36:19,210
‪這也是忠清道方言

838
00:36:19,277 --> 00:36:21,913
‪不知道外國觀眾聽不聽得懂

839
00:36:21,979 --> 00:36:24,549
‪其實我們日常生活中

840
00:36:24,615 --> 00:36:27,952
‪也有很多事情需要察言觀色

841
00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:31,322
‪今天在場應該也有很多觀眾
‪覺得來這裡有罪惡感吧

842
00:36:31,389 --> 00:36:35,927
‪所以接下來
‪我要來當你們的察言觀色大師了

843
00:36:35,993 --> 00:36:37,195
‪我今天就是教練嘛

844
00:36:37,261 --> 00:36:40,531
{\an8}‪如果有人覺得自己經常顧慮很多

845
00:36:40,598 --> 00:36:43,301
{\an8}‪希望教練可以在這邊給你建議

846
00:36:43,367 --> 00:36:46,604
‪就請你舉手
‪我來提供明確的解決之道

847
00:36:46,671 --> 00:36:48,072
‪這位小姐，請說

848
00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:51,175
‪-我要站起來嗎？
‪-妳自己觀察一下

849
00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:55,713
‪好，請問妳有什麼煩惱？

850
00:36:55,780 --> 00:36:58,182
{\an8}‪我在家裡排行老大

851
00:36:58,249 --> 00:36:59,984
{\an8}‪在兩邊家族都是排行最大的

852
00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:02,253
‪-妳說在媽媽家跟爸爸家嗎？
‪-在媽媽家…對

853
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:03,588
‪然後呢？

854
00:37:03,654 --> 00:37:06,958
‪我不曉得是不是這個原因
‪總之我在家裡都會很不自在

855
00:37:07,024 --> 00:37:08,926
‪我在家裡都要一直察言觀色

856
00:37:08,993 --> 00:37:13,364
‪-嗯
‪-每次有事都要由我居中調解

857
00:37:13,431 --> 00:37:16,067
‪-妳說在家裡很不自在嗎？
‪-對，在家不自在

858
00:37:16,133 --> 00:37:18,703
‪比如說我去參加宿營

859
00:37:18,769 --> 00:37:22,773
‪家人會在這段期間吵架
‪等我回來氣氛就很糟

860
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,142
‪-妳是跟雙親一起住吧？
‪-對

861
00:37:25,209 --> 00:37:27,378
‪-跟我家的狀況不一樣吧？
‪-不一樣

862
00:37:28,379 --> 00:37:30,781
‪-我家不是
‪-那然後呢？

863
00:37:30,848 --> 00:37:32,483
‪我在家都不能放鬆

864
00:37:32,550 --> 00:37:35,853
‪我只要在家
‪就必須一直留意家裡的動靜

865
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,022
‪如果我爸媽同桌吃飯

866
00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:39,790
‪講話開始越來越大聲

867
00:37:39,857 --> 00:37:42,526
‪我就必須出來
‪坐在他們旁邊，但我妹…

868
00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:45,029
‪這個我應該怎麼幫妳才好？

869
00:37:47,231 --> 00:37:49,867
‪如果妳想搬出家裡
‪我是可以幫妳找房子啦

870
00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:52,670
‪-妳有兄弟姐妹嗎？還是獨生女？
‪-我有一個妹妹

871
00:37:52,737 --> 00:37:54,338
‪-妹妹幾歲？
‪-她20歲

872
00:37:54,405 --> 00:37:56,374
‪-她不會顧慮這些嗎？
‪-不會

873
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:57,842
‪那妳就學學她吧

874
00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:00,778
‪這樣不是簡單多了嗎？

875
00:38:00,845 --> 00:38:03,214
‪妳為什麼要自己扛下
‪這麼重的包袱呢？

876
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:07,084
‪妳排行老大
‪又是兩邊家族最大的小孩

877
00:38:07,551 --> 00:38:10,855
‪父母可能會比較依賴妳，對吧？

878
00:38:10,921 --> 00:38:13,324
‪-對
‪-妳也沒辦法完全視而不見

879
00:38:13,391 --> 00:38:15,192
‪不過如果是家人比較沒關係

880
00:38:15,259 --> 00:38:17,828
‪出社會後看別人的臉色比較討人厭

881
00:38:17,895 --> 00:38:20,298
‪顧慮家人的反應不算太大的問題

882
00:38:20,364 --> 00:38:23,334
‪雖然感覺像在看臉色
‪但這其實也是一種溝通方式，對吧？

883
00:38:23,401 --> 00:38:25,002
‪如果爸媽不會吵架

884
00:38:25,069 --> 00:38:27,204
‪妳也沒機會跟他們對話

885
00:38:27,271 --> 00:38:29,373
‪妳應該只會待在自己房間滑手機吧

886
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,877
‪妳爸媽是為了製造機會跟妳說話
‪才故意吵架的

887
00:38:32,943 --> 00:38:35,212
‪這樣一家人才能聚在一起

888
00:38:35,279 --> 00:38:37,048
‪現在這個時代缺少對話

889
00:38:37,114 --> 00:38:38,582
‪我們都只會自說自話

890
00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:41,419
‪我覺得妳爸媽用了非常高明的手段

891
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:44,288
‪-他們也沒離婚，還是繼續在一起吧
‪-對

892
00:38:44,355 --> 00:38:45,790
‪-妳需要強力膠帶嗎？
‪-不用

893
00:38:45,856 --> 00:38:48,192
‪不用吧？那就沒事了

894
00:38:48,259 --> 00:38:49,927
‪-加油，好嗎？
‪-好，謝謝

895
00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:53,564
{\an8}‪可以笑著談論這些事
‪就代表問題沒這麼嚴重

896
00:38:53,631 --> 00:38:54,765
‪還有人要問嗎？

897
00:38:54,832 --> 00:38:57,034
‪好，前面這位先生

898
00:38:57,101 --> 00:38:59,537
‪我去年剛從大學畢業

899
00:38:59,603 --> 00:39:02,206
{\an8}‪然後就開始準備找工作

900
00:39:02,273 --> 00:39:04,775
‪但過了一年我還是待業中

901
00:39:04,842 --> 00:39:08,879
‪所以爸媽看到我在家裡
‪已經會有點不高興

902
00:39:08,946 --> 00:39:11,415
‪過年過節的時候，有一些阿姨

903
00:39:11,482 --> 00:39:13,851
‪-就會問我什麼時候才會找到工作
‪-對

904
00:39:13,918 --> 00:39:15,853
‪-她們都會問
‪-親戚都會一直問這些嘛

905
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,089
‪幸運的是今年因為新冠疫情的關係

906
00:39:18,155 --> 00:39:20,057
‪沒有回老家

907
00:39:20,124 --> 00:39:24,595
‪不用見到奶奶跟阿姨們
‪我還覺得鬆了一口氣

908
00:39:24,662 --> 00:39:26,364
‪所以你希望新冠疫情
‪可以持續久一點嗎？

909
00:39:26,430 --> 00:39:27,798
‪沒有

910
00:39:28,499 --> 00:39:32,069
‪我希望疫情快點控制下來
‪我才比較好找工作

911
00:39:32,136 --> 00:39:33,337
‪這樣才好

912
00:39:33,404 --> 00:39:35,406
‪但因為我在家覺得如坐針氈

913
00:39:35,473 --> 00:39:39,076
‪想請問你能不能給我一點建議？

914
00:39:39,810 --> 00:39:41,245
‪你現在幾歲？

915
00:39:41,312 --> 00:39:42,380
‪我現在27歲

916
00:39:42,446 --> 00:39:44,648
‪27歲還年輕，你也當過兵了

917
00:39:44,715 --> 00:39:46,550
‪人生是自己的

918
00:39:46,617 --> 00:39:49,320
‪也許未來…你現在27歲嘛

919
00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:52,456
‪也許你出人頭地的時候
‪是28歲、29歲或30歲，都不一定

920
00:39:52,523 --> 00:39:54,959
‪等你飛黃騰達的時候
‪多給爸媽一點孝親費

921
00:39:55,025 --> 00:39:56,360
‪只要你孝順，他們絕對不會責備你

922
00:39:56,427 --> 00:39:58,929
‪以前我打給我爸，他都是立刻掛電話

923
00:39:59,630 --> 00:40:02,433
‪我還沒沒無聞的時候打給他
‪馬上就會聽到斷線音

924
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,902
‪所以我都不會回去看他，我說真的

925
00:40:04,969 --> 00:40:07,838
‪他會跟我說：“你朋友學工業技術
‪去當汽修工人

926
00:40:07,905 --> 00:40:09,407
‪現在都當上廠長了

927
00:40:09,473 --> 00:40:11,442
‪你在搞什麼？居然想當藝人”

928
00:40:11,509 --> 00:40:12,676
‪但他現在都是這樣

929
00:40:16,947 --> 00:40:21,185
‪“這個宴席是我們壽根幫我辦的”
‪他已經變成這樣了

930
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,454
‪等待那一天到來就好
‪你們畢竟是家人

931
00:40:23,521 --> 00:40:25,723
‪家人只是擔心你

932
00:40:25,790 --> 00:40:27,792
‪他們不會故意找你碴

933
00:40:27,858 --> 00:40:30,694
‪最有耐心等待我們的就是家人了

934
00:40:31,595 --> 00:40:34,899
{\an8}‪這點很重要
‪只要記得你們是家人就好

935
00:40:34,965 --> 00:40:38,602
{\an8}‪聖光，你記得要加點勵志語錄
‪不然觀眾不會買單

936
00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:41,972
‪還有人嗎？什麼都可以問

937
00:40:42,039 --> 00:40:44,575
‪好，這位小姐

938
00:40:44,642 --> 00:40:47,144
‪去年11月我找到工作了

939
00:40:47,211 --> 00:40:48,412
‪恭喜妳

940
00:40:48,479 --> 00:40:50,748
‪我是高中畢業馬上進入職場

941
00:40:50,815 --> 00:40:52,683
‪-直接工作？
‪-對

942
00:40:52,750 --> 00:40:54,118
‪你看她

943
00:40:54,752 --> 00:40:57,888
‪她做得到，你也可以

944
00:40:57,955 --> 00:40:59,957
‪-然後呢？
‪-我和上司

945
00:41:00,024 --> 00:41:02,026
{\an8}‪-年齡差距很大
‪-嗯

946
00:41:02,092 --> 00:41:03,594
{\an8}‪我覺得很不自在

947
00:41:03,661 --> 00:41:05,262
‪你們年齡差距多大？

948
00:41:05,329 --> 00:41:07,765
‪大概差了九歲以上

949
00:41:07,832 --> 00:41:10,968
‪那應該用職稱來稱呼他們就好了吧？

950
00:41:11,035 --> 00:41:14,572
‪但是我們的職級除了科長、次長以外

951
00:41:14,638 --> 00:41:17,408
‪其他員工就沒有再細分了

952
00:41:17,475 --> 00:41:19,710
‪我們沒有太詳細的職級劃分

953
00:41:19,777 --> 00:41:22,680
‪然後男員工的比例比較高

954
00:41:22,746 --> 00:41:26,116
‪所以稱呼他們只能叫“某某先生”
‪或是用“不好意思”開頭

955
00:41:26,183 --> 00:41:28,252
‪應該可以叫前輩就好吧？

956
00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:31,021
‪我覺得叫前輩應該最適合

957
00:41:31,088 --> 00:41:34,992
‪如果聽到小自己很多歲的人
‪稱呼自己“某某先生”

958
00:41:35,059 --> 00:41:37,294
‪“李壽根先生，可以幫我個忙嗎？”

959
00:41:37,361 --> 00:41:41,799
‪稱呼“某某先生”
‪我會覺得滿有距離感的，對吧？

960
00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:43,501
‪他們跟我講話都會用敬語

961
00:41:43,567 --> 00:41:45,236
‪-誰？
‪-其他同事

962
00:41:45,302 --> 00:41:49,273
‪不然妳站在辦公桌上跟他們說
‪“喂，今天開始別說敬語”

963
00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:51,242
‪說敬語是表達尊重的意思

964
00:41:51,308 --> 00:41:52,576
‪-我知道
‪-這是應該的

965
00:41:52,643 --> 00:41:54,645
‪如果因為同事年紀小，就…

966
00:41:54,712 --> 00:41:56,480
‪-妳叫什麼名字？
‪-我叫妍羽

967
00:41:56,547 --> 00:41:58,816
‪“妍羽，妳去做這個，妳過來”

968
00:41:58,883 --> 00:42:02,419
‪用這種態度待人處事的話非常糟糕

969
00:42:02,486 --> 00:42:03,921
‪妳理應受到尊重

970
00:42:03,988 --> 00:42:05,890
‪他們尊重妳是應該的

971
00:42:05,956 --> 00:42:08,459
{\an8}‪他們願意對最年輕的員工
‪使用敬語，給予尊重

972
00:42:08,526 --> 00:42:10,928
{\an8}‪我覺得那是很不錯的職場環境

973
00:42:14,064 --> 00:42:18,068
‪我們一生中
‪其實不可能完全不去顧慮他人

974
00:42:18,135 --> 00:42:21,005
‪各位覺得我們最應該顧慮的人是誰？

975
00:42:21,071 --> 00:42:22,273
‪就是我們自己

976
00:42:22,339 --> 00:42:25,509
‪我們一生當中
‪最在意的應該就是自己了，對吧？

977
00:42:25,576 --> 00:42:28,379
{\an8}‪但我們要顧慮誰
‪決定權都在自己手上

978
00:42:28,445 --> 00:42:31,949
‪我最後再給各位一個建議

979
00:42:32,016 --> 00:42:34,084
‪保持自己原本的樣子

980
00:42:34,151 --> 00:42:35,386
‪做自己就好

981
00:42:35,452 --> 00:42:37,187
{\an8}‪不要去顧慮別人的眼光

982
00:42:37,254 --> 00:42:39,623
{\an8}‪輕鬆地按照自己的步調生活

983
00:42:39,690 --> 00:42:41,191
‪不論男女老幼

984
00:42:41,258 --> 00:42:43,527
‪不管你是小學生、國中生還是高中生

985
00:42:43,594 --> 00:42:47,197
‪都不要在意別人的眼光
‪放輕鬆做自己就好

986
00:42:47,264 --> 00:42:51,101
‪無論你在人生的哪一個階段
‪那麼請問我們現在最需要的是什麼？

987
00:42:51,168 --> 00:42:53,103
‪就是結尾了，各位

988
00:42:54,538 --> 00:42:57,007
‪大家不要難過

989
00:42:57,074 --> 00:42:59,343
‪如果Netflix懂得察言觀色

990
00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:01,779
‪他們一定會再加場

991
00:43:02,313 --> 00:43:05,015
‪等到新冠疫情過去
‪可以和更多觀眾同樂

992
00:43:05,082 --> 00:43:08,686
‪我相信他們會再給我一個更好的機會

993
00:43:08,752 --> 00:43:11,755
‪最後…還有這個環節吧？

994
00:43:11,822 --> 00:43:14,224
‪接下來我們準備了一場鴿子秀

995
00:43:14,291 --> 00:43:17,494
‪大家往上看，牠們被放出來的時候
‪小心一點就好

996
00:43:17,561 --> 00:43:20,264
‪象徵和平的鴿子秀來了！

997
00:43:44,588 --> 00:43:46,991
‪謝謝大家…

998
00:45:39,269 --> 00:45:44,274
‪字幕翻譯：吳盈臻