1 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:17,182 [BOTH YELL] 2 00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,560 CHANDLER: I'm sorry. RACHEL: Oh, my God. That's it. 3 00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:22,021 You just barge in here and you don't knock? 4 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,106 You have no respect for anybody's privacy. 5 00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:25,899 - Rachel, wait. - No, you wait. 6 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,610 - Can I just say one thing? - What? What? 7 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:32,072 That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... 8 00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:35,242 ...nippular area. - Ugh! 9 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,507 Honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient... 10 00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:33,467 ...who thinks things are other things. 11 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,260 You know? 12 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,514 Like when the phone rings and she takes a shower... 13 00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:42,017 That's pretty much it. 14 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,813 But you tell it really well, sweetie. 15 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,190 Thanks. Okay. 16 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,984 Now go away so we can talk about you. 17 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:52,903 Okay. I'll miss you. 18 00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:56,115 Isn't he great? 19 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,617 He's so cute. And he likes you so much. 20 00:01:58,827 --> 00:01:59,868 I know. I know. 21 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,996 He's so sweet. And so complicated, you know? 22 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,625 And for a shrink, he's not too "shrinky." You know? 23 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,752 So you think you'll do it on his couch? 24 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,755 Oh. I don't know. That's a little weird. 25 00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:13,382 It's vinyl. 26 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,346 - Okay. You guys want anything else? - Oh, yes. 27 00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:21,098 - Could I have...? - Sorry, we're all out. 28 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:22,599 - Anybody else? - Okay. 29 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,394 Did I, uh, miss something? 30 00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:28,814 No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies. 31 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:32,568 What were you doing seeing her boobies? 32 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:33,861 It was an accident. 33 00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:36,864 I wasn't across the street with a telescope and a box of doughnuts. 34 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,323 [ROGER LAUGHS] 35 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,492 Can we change the subject, please? 36 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,872 Because, hello? These aren't her "boobies." These are her breasts. 37 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,501 Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change. 38 00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:54,089 I don't know why you're embarrassed. They were very nice boobies. 39 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,550 "Nice"? 40 00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,051 They were "nice"? 41 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,054 That's it? I mean, mittens are "nice." 42 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,517 Okay. Rock, hard place... 43 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,144 ...me. 44 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,355 [ROGER LAUGHING] 45 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,483 You're so funny. 46 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,778 He's really funny. 47 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,908 I wouldn't want to be there when the laughter stops. 48 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,118 Whoa, whoa. Back up there, sparky. 49 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,663 What did you mean by that? 50 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,792 It seems that maybe you have intimacy issues... 51 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:34,838 ...that you use your humor to keep people at a distance. 52 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,132 Huh. 53 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:40,219 I mean, hey, I just met you. I don't know you from Adam. 54 00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,138 Only child, right? 55 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,850 Parents divorced before you hit puberty. 56 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,562 Uh-huh. How did you know? 57 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:52,397 It's textbook. 58 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,693 Hey, you guys. 59 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,487 You all know my dad, right? 60 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,406 - How long are you in the city? - A couple of days. 61 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:02,699 I got a job midtown. 62 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,785 I figure I'm better off staying with the kid... 63 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,663 ...than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. 64 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,039 I don't know this one. 65 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,375 - Oh. This is my friend Roger. - Hi. 66 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,210 - Good to meet you. ROGER: You too. 67 00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,255 What happened to the, uh, puppet guy? 68 00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:18,715 - Dad, uh... - Oh, oh. 69 00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:19,967 Excuse me. 70 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,843 So, Ross, uh, how's the wife? 71 00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:23,720 [ROSS GROANS] 72 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,431 Oh for two, huh? Heh. 73 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,142 Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny. 74 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,029 Gotta go. Ha, ha. I miss you too. 75 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,365 I love you, but it's getting late now... 76 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,242 Let me say hi. Hey, Ma. 77 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:49,162 Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bassida and... 78 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,456 Excuse me? 79 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,503 Did you know this isn't Ma? 80 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,722 Her name's Ronni. 81 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,891 She's a pet mortician. 82 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,230 Sure. 83 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,358 So how long have you been... 84 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,363 Remember when you were a kid, I'd take you to the Navy yard... 85 00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:24,990 ...and show you the big ships? 86 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,994 - Since then? - No, it's only been six years. 87 00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:30,871 I wanted to give you a nice memory... 88 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:34,333 ...so you'd know I wasn't always such a terrible guy. 89 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,338 Joe, have you ever been in love? 90 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,090 I don't know. 91 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,217 Then you haven't. 92 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,804 - You're burning your tomatoes. - Hmm. You're one to talk. 93 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,351 Joe, your dad's in love, bigtime. 94 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,354 And the worst part is, it's with two different women. 95 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,648 Oh, man. Please tell me one of them is Ma. 96 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,818 Of course one of them's Ma. What's the matter with you? 97 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,121 It's like if you woke up one day and found out... 98 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,457 ...your dad was leading this double life. 99 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:19,669 He's, like, actually some spy working for the CIA. 100 00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,588 That'd be cool. 101 00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:23,840 This blows. 102 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,970 I know. Why can't parents just stay parents? 103 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,139 Why do they have to become people? 104 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,308 Why do they have...? 105 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,811 Why... 106 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,357 ...can't you stop staring at my breasts? 107 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:46,363 What? 108 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,950 Didn't you get a good enough look the other day? 109 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,576 All right, we're all adults here. 110 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,579 There's only one way to resolve this. 111 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,331 Since you saw her boobies... 112 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:59,084 ...I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your pee-pee. 113 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,971 You know, I don't see that happening. 114 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,516 Come on. He's right. Tit for tat. 115 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,898 Well I'm not showing you my tat. 116 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,025 [INTERCOM BUZZES] 117 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,027 Hello? 118 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,488 PHOEBE: It's Phoebe. ROGER: And Rog. 119 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:30,907 Come on up. 120 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,119 Oh, good. Rog is here. 121 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:38,540 - What's the matter with Rog? - Nothing. It's a little thing. 122 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,584 I hate that guy. 123 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:44,880 What? So he was a little analytical. That's what he does. 124 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,007 Come on, he's not that bad. 125 00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:50,010 That's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her... 126 00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:53,054 ...if I thought on any level that she was a lesbian? 127 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,390 I don't know. 128 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,350 Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail. 129 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,441 - Ha, ha. - Why? Why would I? Why? 130 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,485 Why? Why? Why? 131 00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:10,655 I don't know. Maybe low self-esteem? 132 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:14,868 Maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling. Maybe... 133 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,913 Wait. Go back to that "sibling" thing. 134 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,832 Well, I don't know. 135 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:24,211 It's conceivable that you sabotaged your marriage... 136 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:28,089 ...so the sibling would be less of a failure in the parents' eyes. 137 00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:29,883 [CHUCKLES] 138 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:35,722 That's ridiculous. I don't feel guilty for her failures. 139 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,186 - Oh, so you think I'm a failure? - Isn't he good? 140 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:44,689 Yeah. No. That's not what I was saying. 141 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,942 All these years, I thought you were on my side... 142 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,528 ...but maybe you were sucking up to Mom and Dad... 143 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:50,862 ...so they'd favor you. 144 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,490 Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good. 145 00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,621 You're right. 146 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,289 I mean, you're right. 147 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:05,293 It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace... 148 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,257 ...and the Weeble's Cruise Ship... 149 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:14,427 ...which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in. 150 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,472 That's tough, tough stuff. 151 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:21,101 Pheebs, if we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta go. 152 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,978 Okay. Feel better, okay? 153 00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,063 ROGER: We're gonna be late, sweetie. - Okay. 154 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,108 - Listen, thanks for everything, Mon. - No problem. 155 00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,235 It was great seeing you again. 156 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,861 [ROSS MUTTERS] 157 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,824 Mon, uh, easy on those cookies, okay? 158 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,201 Remember, they're just food... 159 00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:39,828 ...they're not love. 160 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,917 I hate that guy. 161 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,880 JOEY: Good night, you guys. 162 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,553 Oh, look. It's the woman we ordered. 163 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,976 Hey. Can, uh... Can we help you? 164 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:06,479 Oh. No, thanks. I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani. 165 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,399 I'm Joey Tribbiani. 166 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:13,236 Oh. Oh, no, not you. Big Joey. 167 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,487 Oh, my God. 168 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,365 You're so much cuter than your pictures. 169 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,536 I'm Ronni. 170 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:25,790 Cheese Nip? 171 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,337 Uh, Joey's having an embolism... 172 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,213 ...but I'd go for a Nip. 173 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,015 You see, most people, when their pets pass on... 174 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,893 ...they want them laid out like they're sleeping. 175 00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:48,271 But occasionally you get a person who wants them in a pose. 176 00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:51,232 Like, uh, chasing their tail. 177 00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:55,236 Or, uh, jumping to catch a Frisbee. 178 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,948 Joey, if I go first, I want to be looking for my keys. 179 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,950 [RONNI LAUGHS] 180 00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,203 - That's a good one. - Hey, Joe. 181 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,954 Hey, Dad. Ronni's here. 182 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,456 - Huh? - Hi. 183 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:07,916 - Hey. RONNl: Hey. 184 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,626 Hello, babe. 185 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,796 What are...? What are you doing here? 186 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,757 Oh, uh, you left your hair at my apartment. 187 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,385 I figured you'd need it for your meeting. 188 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,263 Thank you. Uh... 189 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,851 So who's up for a big game of Kerplunk? 190 00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:32,440 Look, I, uh... 191 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,317 I shouldn't have come. 192 00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:36,986 I gotta go. I'll miss the last train. 193 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,280 No, I don't want you taking that thing this late. 194 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,866 - Where am I gonna stay? Here? - Whoa. 195 00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:46,913 We'll go to a hotel. 196 00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,458 - No, you won't. - No, we won't. 197 00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,586 If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing stuff. 198 00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,756 I want you right here, where I can keep an eye on you. 199 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,633 You're gonna keep an eye on us? 200 00:11:58,843 --> 00:11:59,884 That's right, mister. 201 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,595 I don't care how old you are, while you're here... 202 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,265 ...you're gonna live by my rules. 203 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,771 And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend. 204 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,066 Wow, he's strict. 205 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,776 Dad, you'll be in my room. 206 00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:20,029 Ronni, uh, you can stay in Chandler's room. 207 00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,657 Thanks. You're a good kid. 208 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,909 Come on. I'll show you to my room. 209 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:30,498 That sounds weird when it's not followed by, "No, thanks, it's late." 210 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:38,131 Okay. This is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta change. 211 00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,884 - Six years is long enough. - What kind of change? 212 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,094 - Break up with Ronni... - I can't. 213 00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,972 Then come clean with Ma. This is not right. 214 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,225 I don't wanna hear it. Now go to my room. 215 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,908 Hey, kickie. 216 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,121 - What are you doing? - Trying to get comfortable. 217 00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:13,249 - I can't sleep in my underwear. - Well, you're gonna. 218 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,382 I've been thinking... 219 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,928 ...about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls. 220 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:31,184 Are they end-to-end, or tall, like pancakes? 221 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,771 You know what I mean. How I date all these women. 222 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:37,857 I always figured, when the right one comes along... 223 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,402 ...I'll be able to be a standup guy and go the distance, you know? 224 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,030 Now I'm looking at my Dad thinking... 225 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,658 You're not him, you're you. 226 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:51,412 When they wanted you to go into your father's business, did you cave? 227 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,705 - No. - No. 228 00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:55,250 You decided to go into the out-of-work-actor business. 229 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,587 That wasn't easy, but you did it. 230 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:03,216 And I believe that when the right woman comes along... 231 00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,343 ...you'll have the guts to say: 232 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:06,970 "No thanks, I'm married." 233 00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:14,978 You really think so? 234 00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:17,313 Yeah. I really do. 235 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,148 - Thanks, Chandler. - Get off. 236 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:27,949 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 237 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,329 - Hi. - Hi. 238 00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:34,581 May I help you? 239 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:38,501 Uh, Joey said I could use your shower since, uh, Chandler's in ours. 240 00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,254 Okay. Who are you? 241 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,799 - Oh, uh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rapalono. - Uh-huh. 242 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,968 The mistress? 243 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,889 - Um, come on in. - Thanks. 244 00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,057 Hi, I'm Rachel. Bathroom's up there. 245 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,309 Hey, Ronni. 246 00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:56,686 How long has Chandler been in the shower? 247 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,688 Oh. Like, uh, five minutes. 248 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,065 Perfect. 249 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,861 Fasten your seat belts... 250 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,696 ...it's pee-pee time. 251 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,995 Hey, Mr. Trib. 252 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,914 Hey. Good morning, dear. 253 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,711 Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing. 254 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,219 [RACHEL SHRIEKS] 255 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,893 - What's the matter with you? - I thought it was Chandler. 256 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:40,813 You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing. 257 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:45,276 Sorry, my thing was in there with me. 258 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,035 PHOEBE: Hey. ALL: Hey, Pheebs. 259 00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:56,621 MONICA: How's it going? - Good. Oh, oh. 260 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,540 Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys. 261 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:00,792 [CHANDLER CHUCKLES] 262 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,547 - So, what's going on? - Nothing. 263 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,424 It's just that, uh... 264 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,510 It's Roger. 265 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,513 Um, ahem, I don't know. There's something about... Ahem. 266 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,974 Basically, we just feel that he's, uh... 267 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,266 We hate that guy. 268 00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:18,726 MONICA: We hate him. 269 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,478 We're sorry, Pheebs. 270 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:21,980 Uh-huh. Okay. 271 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:25,566 Don't you think maybe it's just that he's so perceptive... 272 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,443 ...that it freaked you out? 273 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,445 - No, I hate him. - No, we hate him. 274 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,822 I'm sorry. 275 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,663 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 276 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,795 Ma. What are you doing here? 277 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,047 I came to give you this... 278 00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:49,549 ...and this. - Ow. 279 00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:51,259 Big ring. 280 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:54,554 Why did you fill your father's head with that garbage... 281 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,432 ...about making things right? 282 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,934 Things were fine the way they were. 283 00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,854 There's chicken in there. Put it away. 284 00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,982 For God's sake, Joey. Really. 285 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,986 Hold on. You knew? 286 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,572 Of course I knew. What do you think? 287 00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:15,199 Your father is no James Bond. 288 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,285 You should have heard his cover stories. 289 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,787 "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's." 290 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,290 I mean, what is that? Please. 291 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,375 So then, how could you...? 292 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,086 Do you remember how your father used to be? 293 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:31,549 Always yelling. Nothing made him happy. 294 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,511 Not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle. 295 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,263 Now he's happy. 296 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:40,099 I mean, it's nice. He has a hobby. 297 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:46,022 Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... 298 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,940 ...what the hell are you talking about? 299 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,612 - I mean, what about you? - Me? I'm fine. 300 00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:54,614 Look, honey... 301 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:57,075 ...in an ideal world... 302 00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:00,536 ...there'd be no her and your father would look like Sting. 303 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,582 And I'll tell you something else: 304 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:08,169 Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along... 305 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,715 ...he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive. 306 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,801 He's been more loving. 307 00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,553 It's like every day is our anniversary. 308 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,181 I'm happy for you? 309 00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:21,599 Well, don't be. 310 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,519 Because now everything's screwed up. 311 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:30,274 I just want it the way it was. 312 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,402 JOEY: Ma, I'm sorry. 313 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:37,115 I just did what I thought you'd want. 314 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:41,285 I know you did, cookie. Oh, I know you did. 315 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,665 So tell me... 316 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,167 Did you see her? 317 00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:50,795 Yeah. 318 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,340 You're 10 times prettier than she is. 319 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,883 That's sweet. 320 00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:58,970 Could I take her? 321 00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,974 With this ring, no contest. 322 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,397 ROGER: What's wrong, sweetie? PHOEBE: Nothing. 323 00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:12,150 No, no. What's wrong? Come on. 324 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,776 Okay. 325 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,781 It's nothing. I'm fine. 326 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,950 It's just, um... It's my friends. 327 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,870 They have a liking problem with you... 328 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,329 ...in that, um... 329 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,956 ...they don't. 330 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,752 Oh. They don't? 331 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,046 But you know... 332 00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:37,091 ...they don't see all of the wonderfulness that I see. 333 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:40,845 They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. 334 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,638 They think you're a little... 335 00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:46,100 - What? - Intense and creepy. 336 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:49,854 Oh. 337 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,648 But I don't. Me. Phoebe. 338 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,111 Well, I'm not at all surprised they feel that way. 339 00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,739 You're not? See, that's why you're so great. 340 00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:02,241 Actually, it's quite typical behavior... 341 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:06,662 ...when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. 342 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,498 You know, this kind of codependent... 343 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,375 ...emotionally stunted... 344 00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:16,797 ...sitting in your stupid coffeehouse, with your stupid big cups... 345 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,384 ...which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them. 346 00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:26,307 And you're all like, "Oh, define me. Define me. 347 00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,310 Love me. I need love." 348 00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,438 So you talked to your dad, huh? 349 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:35,691 Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on Ma, like she wanted. 350 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,527 Ma's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does. 351 00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,530 And my sister Tina can't see her husband anymore... 352 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,824 ...because he got a restraining order. 353 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:48,079 Which has nothing to do with it, except that I found out today. 354 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,288 Wow. 355 00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:52,083 Things sure have changed here on Walton's mountain. 356 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,419 So, Joey, are you okay? 357 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,171 Yeah, I guess. 358 00:20:57,422 --> 00:20:59,674 It's just... You know, they're parents. 359 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,885 After a certain point, you gotta let go. 360 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:04,762 Even if you know better... 361 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,473 ...you gotta let them make their own mistakes. 362 00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:08,724 And just think... 363 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,060 ...in a couple years, we get to turn into them. 364 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,687 Oh, please. 365 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,523 If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond... 366 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:18,776 ...chasing after 20-year-old boys... 367 00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:20,820 ...or I'll end up like my mom. 368 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,867 - Hey. ALL: Hey, Pheebs. 369 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,536 MONICA: How's it going? 370 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,039 Okay, except I broke up with Roger. 371 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,791 ALL: Oh. 372 00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,126 Yeah, right. 373 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,920 ALL: No, no, really. Aw. 374 00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:42,925 - What happened? - Ugh. I don't know. I mean... 375 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,635 He's a good person... 376 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:46,762 ...and he can be really sweet. 377 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:50,266 And in some ways, I think he is so right for me. 378 00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,935 It's just, I hate that guy. 379 00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:03,112 Hey, Joey. What's going on? 380 00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,990 Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. 381 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:08,034 Next stop, Rachel Green. 382 00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:12,997 [MONICA & JOEY YELL] 383 00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:16,751 Joey, what the hell were you doing? 384 00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:19,545 Sorry, wrong boobies. 385 00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:33,893 Hello, Joey. 386 00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:36,645 Hello, dear. 387 00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:43,861 [English - US - SDH]