1 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,922 - Hey. Hey. 2 00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,173 So how was Joan? 3 00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:09,341 Broke up with her. 4 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:10,884 Oh, why? 5 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,887 Don't tell me. Because of the big nostril thing? 6 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,807 They were huge. 7 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:20,060 When she sneezed, bats flew out of them. 8 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,855 Come on, they were not that huge. 9 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:26,358 I'm telling you, she leaned back, I could see her brain. 10 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,070 How many women will you reject... 11 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,573 ...over the most superficial, insignificant things? 12 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,492 Hold it. Hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. 13 00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:38,328 When I first moved to the city, I went out with this girl. 14 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,956 Really hot. Great kisser... 15 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,334 ...but she had the biggest Adam's apple. 16 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:46,587 Drove me nuts. 17 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:50,799 - You or me? - I got it. 18 00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:53,594 Joey, women don't have Adam's apples. 19 00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:03,520 Heh, heh. You guys are messing with me, right? 20 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,274 Yeah. We are. 21 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:12,071 That's a good one. For a second there, I was like, whoa! 22 00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:05,249 So you name one woman that you broke up with for an actual real reason. 23 00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:07,417 Maureen Rasillo. 24 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,337 Because she doesn't hate Yanni is not a real reason. 25 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,386 Hello, Mr. Heckles. 26 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,596 You're doing it again. 27 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,306 We're not doing anything. 28 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:24,434 You're stomping. It's disturbing my birds. 29 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,856 You don't have birds. 30 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,316 I could have birds. 31 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,194 Okay, we'll try to keep it down. 32 00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:35,737 Thank you. 33 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,448 I'm going to rejoin my dinner party. 34 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,160 All right, bye-bye. 35 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:43,704 Okay, Janice. 36 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:46,832 You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky. 37 00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:48,208 We'll give you Janice. 38 00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,335 I miss Janice, though. 39 00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,671 Hello, Chandler Bing! 40 00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:58,594 Oh, my God! 41 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,429 Oh, Chandler! 42 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,723 Now! Now! 43 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,185 That's it. 44 00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:08,729 There! Faster! 45 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:20,365 Ugh. Stop with the broom! We're not making noise! 46 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:31,585 We won. 47 00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,879 - We won! Whoo! - Whoo! 48 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,091 Mr. Heckles. 49 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,806 - How did this happen? - He was sweeping. 50 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,267 They found a broom in his hand. 51 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,395 Oh. Oh, dear God. 52 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,064 - That's terrible. - I know. 53 00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,483 I was sweeping yesterday. 54 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,236 - It could've been me. Yeah. 55 00:03:58,112 --> 00:04:00,197 Sure. - Sweeping. You never know. 56 00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:01,573 Never know. 57 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:09,998 Okay, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. 58 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,543 Go into the light, Mr. Heckles! 59 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,340 Okay, Phoebe. 60 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,301 I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. 61 00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,596 Yeah. - Here we go. 62 00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:27,307 That's fine, go ahead and scoff. 63 00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:30,018 There are a lot of things I don't believe in... 64 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,354 ...but that doesn't mean they're not true. 65 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,772 Such as? 66 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:38,652 Like crop circles or the Bermuda Triangle or evolution. 67 00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:40,612 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 68 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,825 What, you don't believe in evolution? 69 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,285 No. Not really. 70 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,455 You don't believe in evolution? 71 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,083 I don't know. It's just, you know... 72 00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:58,088 Monkeys, Darwin, it's a nice story. I just think it's a little too easy. 73 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:04,303 "Too easy"? Too... 74 00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:07,931 The process of every living thing on this planet evolving... 75 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:12,436 ...over millions of years from single-celled organisms is "too easy"? 76 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,272 Yeah, I just don't buy it. 77 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:20,402 Excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. 78 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:24,448 Evolution is scientific fact, like the air we breathe... 79 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,241 ...like gravity. 80 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,744 Okay, don't get me started on gravity. 81 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,751 You, uh... You don't believe in gravity? 82 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:41,173 Well, it's not so much that, you know, I don't believe in it. 83 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,300 Lately I get the feeling that... 84 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:46,720 ...I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed. 85 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,055 Pushed. 86 00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,726 Uh-oh. It's Isaac Newton and he's pissed. 87 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:59,107 There she is. And over there, that's the other one. 88 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,610 This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Heckles' attorney. 89 00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:02,861 He'd like to talk to you. 90 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,488 What can we do for you? 91 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,782 All right, kids, here's the deal. 92 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,076 According my client's will... 93 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:13,789 ...he wants to leave all his earthly possessions... 94 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,834 ...to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine. " 95 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,504 What about his family? 96 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:23,173 - He didn't have any. Whoa. 97 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,385 Okay, so let's talk money. 98 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,554 All right, there was none. 99 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,431 Now, let's talk signing. 100 00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:34,851 You be noisy girl number one. You be noisy girl number two. 101 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:39,564 I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. 102 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:43,318 Isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life... 103 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,529 ...without even knowing it? 104 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,239 Would you look at this dump? 105 00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,783 He hated us! This was his final revenge! 106 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,285 Ever seen so much crap! 107 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:56,123 Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap. 108 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,708 Check this out. 109 00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:02,254 Can I have this? 110 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,425 How can you not believe in evolution? 111 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,387 I don't know, just don't. Look at this funky shirt! 112 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:14,057 Pheebs, I've studied evolution my entire adult life. 113 00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:17,644 And I can tell you, we've collected fossils from all over the world... 114 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:21,356 ...that actually show the evolution of different species. 115 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:24,359 I mean, you can literally see them... 116 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:28,113 ...evolving through time. 117 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,283 Really? You can actually see it? 118 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:36,121 You bet! In the U.S., China, Africa, all over! 119 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:38,748 See, I didn't know that. 120 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,460 Well, there you go. 121 00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,086 Huh. 122 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:48,175 So now the real question is, who put those fossils there and why? 123 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:55,640 Hey. Look at this. My Big Book of Grievances. 124 00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,811 Hey, there's me. 125 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:03,356 "April 17th, excessive noise... 126 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:07,027 ...Italian guy comes home with a date. " Yeah. 127 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,612 Chandler, you're in here too. 128 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,531 "April 18th, excessive noise... 129 00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:15,452 ...Italian guy's gay roommate brings home dry cleaning. " 130 00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:24,211 Well, that's excellent. 131 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,880 Monica, look at this lamp. 132 00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,466 Is this tacky or what? We have to have this. 133 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,886 I think we have enough regular lamps. 134 00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:35,263 What? Come on, it's not like... 135 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,183 ...I'm asking for this girlie clock or anything. 136 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:41,311 Which, by the way, I also think is really cool. 137 00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:44,564 Look, it doesn't go with any of my stuff. 138 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,484 Well, what about my stuff? 139 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,778 You don't have any stuff. 140 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,865 You still think of it as your apartment, don't you? 141 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,617 Mmm... No. 142 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:56,952 Yes, you do. 143 00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,497 You think of it as your apartment and I just rent a room. 144 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,041 Mmm... 145 00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:07,462 Okay, while you "mmm" on that, I'll go find a place for my new lamp. 146 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,386 Okay, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? 147 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,598 Opposable thumbs! 148 00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:25,105 Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs? 149 00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:29,943 Maybe the Overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts. 150 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,362 Tell me you're joking. 151 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:36,825 Look, can't we just say that you believe in something and I don't? 152 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,786 - No. No, Pheebs, we can't. - Why not? 153 00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:43,415 What is this obsessive need you have to make everybody agree with you? 154 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,710 No, what's that all about? You know what I think? 155 00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:52,215 I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope. 156 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,638 Is there blood coming out of my ears? 157 00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,893 Check it out. Heckles' high-school yearbook. 158 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:06,730 Wow. He looks so normal. 159 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,982 He's even kind of cute. 160 00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,484 "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. 161 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,737 You're the funniest kid in school. " 162 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,281 - Funniest? Heckles? - That's what it says. 163 00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:20,785 Wow. Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. 164 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,956 He was right. Would you listen to that? 165 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,459 I'd call that excessive. 166 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,252 - Whoa. - What? 167 00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:32,422 Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. 168 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:36,217 And he was in the scale modeler's club and I was... 169 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:39,554 Well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool. 170 00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,265 So? You were both dorks. 171 00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:43,725 Big deal. 172 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,311 I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me... 173 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,481 Heckles and me. Me... 174 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,024 Me and Heckles. 175 00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,735 Hey, would you knock it off! 176 00:10:57,948 --> 00:10:59,115 Ah! 177 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,421 Have you been here all night? 178 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,465 Look at this. 179 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,009 Pictures of all the women Heckles went out with. 180 00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:21,930 Look what he wrote on them. "Vivian, too tall. " 181 00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,807 "Madge, big gums. " 182 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,059 "Too loud. " 183 00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,395 "Too smart. " "Makes noise when she eats. " 184 00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,271 This is me. 185 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,357 This is what I do. 186 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,486 I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did. 187 00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,363 Chandler, Heckles was a nut case. 188 00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,532 Our trains are on the same track. 189 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:44,285 I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. 190 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,121 Bitter Town... 191 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,082 ...Alone-ville, Hermit Junction! 192 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,044 You know what we gotta do? Get you out of here. 193 00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:54,963 Come on, I'll buy you breakfast. 194 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,049 What if I never find somebody? Or worse, what if I found her... 195 00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:02,178 ...but I dumped her because she pronounces it "supposably"? 196 00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:05,849 Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody. 197 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,059 How do you know that? How? 198 00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,937 I don't know. I'm just trying to help you out. 199 00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:13,898 You guys will all get married... 200 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,525 ...and I'll end up alone. 201 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,027 Will you promise me something? 202 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,573 When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays? 203 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,700 I don't know what we'll be doing. 204 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,914 I mean, what if we're over at her folks' place? 205 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,294 Yeah, I understand. 206 00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:39,924 You can come over and watch the Super Bowl. 207 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,051 Every year, all right? 208 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:46,598 You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. 209 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,683 I'll see you, man. 210 00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,230 Jeez. 211 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,736 "Supposably. " 212 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,907 Supposably. 213 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,787 Did they go to the zoo? 214 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,206 Supposably. 215 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,095 Hi. It's me. 216 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:30,600 Oh, my God! 217 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,145 Janice? You called Janice? 218 00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:36,981 Yes. Janice. 219 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,150 Why is that difficult to comprehend? 220 00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,611 You remember Janice, right? 221 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:47,325 Yes. She was smart, she was pretty and she honestly cared about me. 222 00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:50,245 Janice is my last chance to have somebody. 223 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,248 Hello. 224 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:59,379 Oh, my God! 225 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,174 Jeez, look how fat she got. 226 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:08,888 - Hey, it's everybody. Hi, Janice. 227 00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,306 Janice, you're... 228 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,559 Yes, I am. 229 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,186 - Is it...? - Is it yours? Ha! 230 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,438 You wish, Chandler Bing. 231 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:22,110 You are looking at a married lady now. 232 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:23,486 Oh. 233 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,113 Yeah. 234 00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:28,575 Congratulations. 235 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:31,119 Aw, sweetie, I'm sorry. 236 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,246 You couldn't tell me on the phone? 237 00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:36,457 And what? Miss the expression on your face? Oh, no. 238 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,419 Janice likes to have her fun. 239 00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,850 You know what we haven't played in a while? 240 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,519 - What? - Hide the lamp. 241 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,231 Monica, let it go. 242 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,401 Did you know I'm allergic to shellfish? 243 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:06,738 Then you'll just have to eat the other lamps. 244 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,493 Uh-oh. It's scary scientist man. 245 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,873 Okay, Phoebe, this is it. 246 00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:20,835 In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. 247 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,796 A briefcase of facts, if you will. 248 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:31,012 Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old. 249 00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:34,474 Okay, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution. 250 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,768 It's just one of the possibilities. 251 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,978 It's the only possibility. 252 00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:44,108 Ross, could you just open your mind, like, this much? Okay? 253 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:48,571 Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believe the Earth was flat? 254 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:54,077 And up till 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing... 255 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:58,039 ...until you split it open and this whole mess of crap came out. 256 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:04,545 Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant... 257 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:08,591 ...that you can't admit that there's a teeny, tiny possibility... 258 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,843 ...that you could be wrong about this? 259 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,519 There might be... 260 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:22,647 ...a teeny... 261 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,191 ...tiny... 262 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,486 ...possibility. 263 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,448 I can't believe you caved. 264 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,118 What? 265 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:38,705 You just abandoned your whole belief system! 266 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,334 Before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. 267 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,044 But... 268 00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:47,714 How are you gonna go into work tomorrow? 269 00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:50,675 How are you going to face the other science guys? 270 00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,720 How are you going to face yourself? Oh... 271 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,321 That was fun. So who's hungry? 272 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:13,656 I am. 273 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,825 Me too. Let me just get my coat. 274 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,585 What happened? 275 00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:28,671 Okay. All right, it was an accident, I swear. 276 00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:32,842 I was putting on my jacket and the thing and the lamp and it broke. 277 00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,471 Oh, please, Monica! You've always hated my lamp! 278 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:40,933 And now all of a sudden, it's just magically, it's just broken? 279 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,393 Phoebe, tell her? 280 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,938 I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket. 281 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,482 But I want to believe you. 282 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:55,865 Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp. 283 00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:57,533 Neat. 284 00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,619 I'm gonna die alone! 285 00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,165 Okay, you win. 286 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,335 Chandler, you are not gonna die alone. 287 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,837 Janice was my safety net, okay? 288 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,714 And now I have to get a snake. 289 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,884 Uh-huh. Why is that? 290 00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:18,513 If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing. 291 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,348 You know, a hook. 292 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:23,601 Like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. 293 00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:26,354 So I figure I'll be "Crazy Man With A Snake. " 294 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:27,855 Crazy Snake Man. 295 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,108 Then I'll get more snakes, call them my babies. 296 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,485 Kids won't walk past my place, they will run! 297 00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:35,905 "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout! 298 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,953 You've got to get over this. Okay? 299 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,788 You won't end up alone. 300 00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:45,581 Of course I am. 301 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:49,544 I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me... 302 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:53,422 ...and then I bitch that there aren't any great women out there. 303 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,426 Chandler, you have just described... 304 00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:01,264 ...virtually every man that we've ever gone out with. 305 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:02,932 Yeah. 306 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,393 You are not a freak. You're a guy. 307 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,229 She's right. 308 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,148 You're no different than the rest. 309 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,608 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Yes, he is. 310 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,610 You are totally different. 311 00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:15,862 In a bad way? 312 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,864 No, honey, in a wonderful way. 313 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,824 You know what you want now. 314 00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:21,617 Most guys don't even have a clue. 315 00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:25,663 You're ready to take risks, be vulnerable and intimate with someone. 316 00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,456 You're not gonna end up alone. 317 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:33,838 You called Janice. That's how much you wanted to be with someone! 318 00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,466 - You've made it. - You're there. 319 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,136 You are ready to make a commitment! 320 00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:42,638 Whoa! Don't know about that. 321 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,063 Wow. What you got there? 322 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:54,483 Something else that's not yours that you can break? 323 00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:56,986 No. 324 00:19:57,404 --> 00:20:00,364 I know you like this and I want you to have it. 325 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,575 It'll look good in our apartment. 326 00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:05,578 Thank you. 327 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,336 That's fine. 328 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:15,588 - Hey. Hey. 329 00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:19,592 You'll all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. 330 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,969 This woman Allison from work. She is great. 331 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,389 She's pretty, she's smart. And I've been... 332 00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,935 ...holding off asking her out in the past, because she has a... 333 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,520 ...unusually large head. 334 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,399 But I'm not going to let that stuff hang me up anymore. 335 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,651 All right. 336 00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:38,236 Look at me. I'm growing. 337 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:42,698 Hey, you can't recycle yearbooks, can you? 338 00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:44,700 I'll take that. 339 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,077 You want his yearbook? 340 00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:50,665 Yeah. Yeah. Some people said nice things about him. Somebody should have it. 341 00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,334 Gosh, this is so weird. 342 00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:56,879 His whole life was in this apartment and now it's gone. 343 00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:02,510 I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments for Mr. Heckles. 344 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:07,473 I mean, he was kind of a pain. He was, but he was a person. 345 00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:11,102 What? 346 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,940 You're all going to hell. 347 00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:18,359 It's really not that big. 348 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,781 - Taking that with you, huh? - Oh, yeah. 349 00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:31,580 Hey, you coming? 350 00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,291 Yeah, in a second. 351 00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,517 Goodbye, Mr. Heckles. 352 00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:56,939 We'll try to keep it down. 353 00:22:07,951 --> 00:22:09,493 My major was useless. 354 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:13,831 How often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher Wanted"? 355 00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,499 Heh, heh. Sure. 356 00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:18,002 My God, that's a big head! 357 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,716 It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. 358 00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:27,178 My head must look like a golf ball at work. 359 00:22:28,221 --> 00:22:32,016 Don't get hung up on it. Quick, quick. List five things you like about her. 360 00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:34,226 Nice smile, good dresser. 361 00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,979 Big head, big head, big head!