1 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,380 Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our duck and our chick had a little baby? 2 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,674 We could call it Chuck. 3 00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,219 Or Dick. 4 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,681 - Hey. Hey. 5 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,392 Listen, I need a favor. 6 00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,729 I was in the shower, and as I was... 7 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:25,482 ...cleansing myself, I, uh... Well, I felt something. 8 00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:28,861 Was it like a sneeze, only better? 9 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,157 No, no. I mean, like, a thing on my body. 10 00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:34,992 Well, what was it? 11 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:38,954 Well, I don't know. It's kind of in a place that's not... 12 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:43,208 It's not visually accessible to me. And I was hoping maybe you guys... 13 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,626 ...could help me out. 14 00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,503 - Whoa! - Whoa! No. 15 00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,131 Come on, you guys. It's no big deal. 16 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,050 Hey, hey, hey. 17 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:53,469 Huh. 18 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,221 Well, what is it? Is it a mole? 19 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,851 No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole. 20 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,228 Ew. Is it...? What, a pimple? 21 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,150 No, it's... 22 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,652 ...fancier than a pimple. 23 00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,821 - Look, Ross, just go see a doc... - Guys, what's...? 24 00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:21,080 Okay, well, it's definite. Two more weeks of winter. 25 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:22,623 - Yeah, right. - Ah. 26 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:18,387 And, um, this is the coffeehouse. This is where I play my music. 27 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,556 - Good deal. - Yeah, and these are my friends. 28 00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:22,975 People? This is Vince. Vince, the people. 29 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,309 Hi. 30 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,312 - Hey. - Vince is a fireman. 31 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,941 Wow. Have you ever rescued anyone from a burning building before? 32 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,569 Ninety-eight hot saves. Highest on the force. 33 00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,737 Well, you know, if Joey and I play with matches... 34 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,823 ...we could get you up to an even 100. 35 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,536 - Fire safety is not a joke, son. - Ha, ha. Oh. 36 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:46,707 You're right. I know. 37 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,543 Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. 38 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,670 - See you Saturday. - Okay. 39 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,674 Wow, he's cute, Pheebs. 40 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,926 But I thought you just started dating that teacher. 41 00:02:58,094 --> 00:02:59,178 - Oh, Jason? Yeah. 42 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:01,388 Uh-huh. We're seeing each other tonight. Ahem. 43 00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,223 Well, Pheebs? 44 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:06,059 Two dates in one day? That's so unlike you. 45 00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:09,730 I know, I know. I'm, like, playing the field, you know? 46 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:13,817 I'm juggling two guys. I'm sowing my wild oats, you know? 47 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:18,280 You know, this kind of, like, you know, oat-sowing, field-playing juggler. 48 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,282 So, Pheebs, do they know about each other? 49 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:23,243 Does a dog's lips move when he reads? 50 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,666 Okay, no, they don't know. 51 00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,712 - Hey, guys. Hi. 52 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,217 Well? - How'd it go at the doctor's? 53 00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:42,304 Well, he said there's definitely nothing to worry about. It's totally benign. 54 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:44,806 - Well, what is it? - He couldn't even tell me. 55 00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:50,604 He said it was just some sort of skin abnormality. 56 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:54,441 And the worse thing is, he said not being able to identify it... 57 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,360 ...he was reluctant to remove it. 58 00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:58,278 You know what? You should go to my guy. 59 00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:00,864 Because when I went in there with my third nipple... 60 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,201 ...he just lopped it right off, you know? - Yeah? 61 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,328 - So I guess I'm lucky. - Heh. 62 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:10,540 I mean, not as lucky as people who are born with two nipples. 63 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:14,878 At least they knew what yours was. You know? Yours had a name. 64 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:18,590 Oh. Maybe they'll name yours after you. 65 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:21,843 You know? They'd call it The Ross. 66 00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:25,555 And then people would be, like, "Oh, he's got a Ross. " 67 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,309 Yeah, that'd be cool. 68 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:32,938 Pete's breaking up with me. 69 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,273 What? 70 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,358 Yeah, I just checked my messages. 71 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:39,945 He said that when he gets back from Atlanta, "We need to talk. " 72 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,863 - And? Well, that's it. 73 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:45,409 People never say, "We need to talk," unless it's something bad. 74 00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:48,495 Whoa. That doesn't necessarily mean he's breaking up with you. 75 00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:49,997 Yeah. - Really? 76 00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:52,833 Yeah. Maybe he just cheated on you. 77 00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:01,675 And I know I'll never get rich doing it, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty cool... 78 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,386 ...knowing you're making a difference in a kid's life. 79 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,555 That is so great. 80 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,433 - Oh, my God. - Oh. 81 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,892 - Oh, my God! - Ooh. 82 00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:13,395 - Uh, we'd better call the fire department. - No. No. 83 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,565 - No, no? - Well, we don't need a fireman. 84 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,734 We need, like, a good mechanic. 85 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,238 Oh, my God. Here they come. We gotta get out of here. 86 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,489 Wait. Why? 87 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:27,367 Look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one, okay? 88 00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:32,122 That's all it is, a third nipple. 89 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:35,917 You know? Just your run-of-the-mill third nipple. Yeah. 90 00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:39,629 You can take it off. Just slice that baby right off. 91 00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:42,924 Take your shirt off and let's see what we're dealing with here. 92 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,304 What are you doing? 93 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:52,726 Just showing you my run-of-the-mill, slice-it-right-off third nipple. 94 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,729 - Well, that's not a third nipple. - Oh? 95 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,190 First of all, it's on your ass. 96 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,525 Well, then what is it? 97 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,944 Wait a minute. Hold it. 98 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,116 - Jansen, will you come in here a moment? I'm with Hamilton. 99 00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:10,619 He's good with weird things. Bring him in too. 100 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:15,457 I gotta go water Pete's plants. 101 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:19,795 You know what? If he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants. 102 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:23,882 Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants... 103 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,804 ...if you know what I mean. 104 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,931 Or, ha, ha... 105 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,433 ...we could go over there and pee on them. 106 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,063 I can't take it, you know? 107 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,941 I'm always afraid one of them is gonna catch me with the other. 108 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,651 It's making me crazy. 109 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,320 Well, honey, why don't you break up with one of them? 110 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:49,658 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened to playing the field? 111 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,993 Well, it doesn't feel like playing anymore. 112 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:55,330 It's feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field. 113 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:59,167 - So, Pheebs, pick one of them. - Yeah, which one do you like more? 114 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:03,672 Well, Vince is great, you know? Because he's, like, a "guy" guy. 115 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:07,968 You know? He's just so burly, so very burly. 116 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,514 Okay, good. So there you go. Go with Vince. 117 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,516 Yeah, but Jason's really sensitive. 118 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,019 - Well, sensitive is important. Pick him. - Yeah. 119 00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:20,981 Oh, sure. Go with the sissy. 120 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,317 Jason is not a sissy. 121 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,695 Oh, no, no, no. I meant Chandler. 122 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:40,709 You know, I have dinner plans. 123 00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:45,213 Thank you so much for coming on such a short notice. 124 00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:49,468 Ladies and gentlemen, I've been practicing medicine for 23 years... 125 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:52,262 ...and I'm stumped. 126 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,775 Okay, this is the den. 127 00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:08,487 All right, check this out. Lights. 128 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:12,073 Whoa. All right, less lights. Bad lights. 129 00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,201 Lights, go away. 130 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,205 Aw, see? You just need to find the right command. 131 00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,957 Yes. And the dimmer switch. 132 00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:24,503 Whoa. For a rich guy, that's a pretty small TV. 133 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,379 No, no, no. That's the videophone. 134 00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:30,258 But hey, guys, you're not supposed to be here, so please don't touch anything. 135 00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:33,720 IKEA, this is comfortable. 136 00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,973 This place is amazing. 137 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,809 - Oh, God. That is the nicest kitchen. - I know. 138 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,520 No, no. It's the nicest kitchen. 139 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,939 The refrigerator told me to have a great day. 140 00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,609 Look at this, a millionaire's checkbook. 141 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,152 Joey, put that down. 142 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,948 Oh, my God, that's Pete. Okay, get out. 143 00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:56,284 - How the hell do you answer a videophone? - Monica? 144 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,455 I guess that's how. 145 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,249 Hey, Monica, how's it going? 146 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:05,210 Oh, it's good. It's, um... It's good. 147 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,128 Just here, watering the plants. 148 00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:09,464 Well, don't forget that ficus over there by Rachel. 149 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,552 Ha. Chandler's on the couch. 150 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:18,306 Yeah, I see him. You guys are just the worst hiders ever. 151 00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:21,560 - Hi, Pete. - How you doing? 152 00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,311 Uh, Pete, um... 153 00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:25,564 The other day when you said you needed to talk... 154 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:29,317 ...um, just so I know, is it good news or bad news? 155 00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:31,820 Oh, it's good news. No, it's definitely good news. 156 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,573 Hold on a second, I have another call. 157 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,157 Hey, how's it going? 158 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,118 No, no, no, it's still me. 159 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,203 No, it's not. I've got picture-in-picture here. 160 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:45,500 Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm gonna have to call you back later. 161 00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,295 Monica? You. I'm gonna have to call you back. 162 00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:51,172 Oh. Oh, okay. Um, so I'll see you soon. 163 00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:53,341 - Okay. I love you. - I love you. 164 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,885 We love you too. 165 00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:58,263 Okay. 166 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,682 Well, it's good news. It's good news. 167 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:04,060 - So, what do you think the good news is? Look at this. 168 00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:08,565 He wrote a check for $50,000 to Hugo Lindgren's Ring Design. 169 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,861 Oh. Sorry. Uh, what do you think the good news is? 170 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,656 Oh, my. 171 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,825 Monica's gonna marry a millionaire. 172 00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:22,704 Hey, you gotta get Mom on the phone. Call Mom. Call Mom. 173 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,706 Hello? 174 00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:27,208 And that's Pete's mom. Ha, ha. 175 00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:34,799 No, Mon, you have to make it a theme wedding. 176 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,509 And the theme could be: 177 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:38,845 "Look How Much Money We've Got. " 178 00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:43,224 You know? I mean, you could put money in the invitations. 179 00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:46,353 You could have, like, little-money place settings. 180 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,563 And, uh, you could start with a money salad. 181 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:52,400 I mean, it'll be dry, but people will like it. 182 00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:53,902 Would you stop? 183 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:57,364 We've only gone out a couple of weeks. We don't know if he'll propose. 184 00:10:57,531 --> 00:11:00,116 Yes, but this is Pete, okay? He's not like other people. 185 00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:01,993 On your first date, he took you to Rome. 186 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:06,164 For most guys, that's like a third or fourth date kind of thing. 187 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:10,126 Well, if that's what it is, then it's crazy. 188 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,254 Monica's right. We're talking about getting married here. 189 00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,674 Okay? She can't just rush into this. 190 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:19,219 Oh, what do you know? You married a lesbian. 191 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,519 All right. I gotta go. I have to break up with Vince. 192 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,854 Oh. So you're going with the teacher, huh? 193 00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:33,858 Yeah. I like Vince a lot, you know? But Jason is so sensitive, you know? 194 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:37,445 And in the long run, I think sensitive is better than having... 195 00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:41,700 ...just, like, a really, really, really nice body. 196 00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,205 Jason. Definitely Jason. 197 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,624 - Wish me luck. Good luck. 198 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,503 Oh, my God. 199 00:11:56,132 --> 00:12:00,635 Sorry. I was just imagining what it'd be like to catch the money bouquet. 200 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,852 Excuse me. Um, is Vince here? 201 00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:10,145 Oh, sure. 202 00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:11,604 - Vince. Yo. 203 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:17,819 Wow. I didn't know you guys actually used those. 204 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,113 So, what's up? 205 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,489 Um... 206 00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,116 Wow. 207 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,744 This isn't gonna be easy. Um... 208 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,873 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 209 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,499 Uh-huh. 210 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,502 Good deal. 211 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:37,672 - I'm sorry. - No, it's okay. 212 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:42,719 It's just that, uh, I thought we had something pretty special here. 213 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:47,098 An you know, I felt like you were someone I could finally open up to. 214 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,769 There's so much in me I haven't shared with you yet. 215 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:54,981 - Oh, my God. I didn't know you were so... - I'm sorry. I can't talk. 216 00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,985 I'm gonna go write in my journal. 217 00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:03,948 Wait. Wait. Wait. 218 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:10,205 I'm telling you, if you wanna take care of that thing, go see my herbal guy. 219 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:15,043 Thank you, but I wanna remove it, Pheebs. I don't wanna make it savory. 220 00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:19,964 You know, when girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body... 221 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:22,300 ...they tell their friends about it. 222 00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,511 Give me that. 223 00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:31,392 Hi. Okay, don't be mad at me, but I couldn't resist. 224 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:32,727 Bride's magazines? 225 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,605 Yes, and I know that you said you'd say no if he asked you... 226 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,942 ...but I'm sorry, how great would you look walking down the aisle... 227 00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:41,236 ...in this Donna Karan? 228 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:44,322 Oh, you so would. 229 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,115 Oh, you should get that anyway. 230 00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:49,869 Well, for clubbing. 231 00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:52,247 It is so weird. 232 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:55,583 I know what I said. But, um, this morning... 233 00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:59,254 ...I was lying in bed, I was imagining what it'd be like to say yes. 234 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:05,426 I know it's a little sudden, and it's rushed... 235 00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:08,179 ...and it's totally not like me to do something like this. 236 00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:11,432 But that doesn't mean I can't. Right? 237 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,393 I mean, I'm crazy about Pete. 238 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:16,145 And I know that we want the same things. 239 00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:18,815 And when I thought about saying yes... 240 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,817 ...it made me really happy. 241 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,777 Oh, my God. 242 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,989 I know. 243 00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:27,866 I need more pie. 244 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:33,955 Hey, Mon, um, if you do get married, can I bring two guests? 245 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,960 You didn't break up with that fireman? 246 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,045 No, that was my way of telling you. 247 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,632 Well, it turns out he's incredibly sensitive. 248 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,051 He keeps a journal and he paints. 249 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,429 He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me. 250 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:50,638 Wow. 251 00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:54,851 He'd prefer watercolors, but, you know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal. 252 00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,355 So then are you gonna dump Jason? 253 00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:02,817 Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone and... 254 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:06,988 Okay, so Jason is sensitive. But now, so is Vince. 255 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,574 Plus Vince has the body. You know? 256 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,159 So... 257 00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:15,371 It's really just about the math. 258 00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:25,173 - Jason. Yeah, come on in. 259 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,058 Uh, Phoebe, you sounded serious on the phone. 260 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:37,226 Is, uh, anything wrong? 261 00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:38,686 No. 262 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:57,163 You must be Ross. 263 00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:01,376 - Hi. - I am Guru Saj. 264 00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:08,049 Listen, I gotta tell you, I've never been to a guru before, so... 265 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:11,135 Well, relax. If it makes you feel any better, I've attended... 266 00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:14,639 ...some of the finest medical schools in Central America. 267 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:18,726 Well, then, let's take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. 268 00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,812 Come on, have a seat. 269 00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:23,231 Aha. 270 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:27,860 Aha. As I suspected, it's a kundus. 271 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,197 What's a "kundus"? 272 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,951 I don't know. What's a kundus with you? 273 00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:40,832 Please lie down. 274 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,918 I've got a salve that ought to shrink that right up. 275 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,254 Well, I guess it's worth a try. 276 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,506 Oh, sure. We should see results... 277 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,426 Whoa! Clearly not the way to go. 278 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,512 What? What? 279 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,806 We appear to have angered it. 280 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,225 We? We angered it? 281 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:03,479 Oh. I think I see the problem. 282 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,608 And I'm afraid we're gonna have to use a much stronger tool. 283 00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:10,778 Love. 284 00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:13,072 Oh, God. 285 00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:18,703 Ross, there is absolutely no way this is gonna come off... 286 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,580 ...unless you start to... - Ow. 287 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:23,124 - Oops. - What was that? 288 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,585 Well, it's gone. 289 00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:27,712 How's that? 290 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,922 Got caught in my watch. 291 00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:32,508 Hey, ha, ha. 292 00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:36,721 Lights. 293 00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:40,058 Uh, romantic lights. 294 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,977 Ooh, nice. Ha, ha. 295 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:46,564 So, uh, there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about. 296 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:50,610 Oh, right. I completely forgot about that. 297 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,321 Well, uh... 298 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,656 I've been doing a lot of thinking. 299 00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,784 And I look at my life... 300 00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,494 Yeah? 301 00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:02,997 - And I feel like I've conquered the business world. 302 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:06,876 And I feel like I've conquered the intellectual world. 303 00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:10,630 And now I have the most beautiful woman in the world. 304 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,591 Wow. 305 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,385 But there's one thing missing. 306 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:18,930 What's that? 307 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,559 It's time for me to conquer the physical world. 308 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,563 Okay. 309 00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:32,401 Monica? I wanna become... 310 00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:35,363 ...the Ultimate Fighting Champion. 311 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,241 You wanna what? 312 00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:41,285 I wanna become the Ultimate Fighting Champion. 313 00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:44,080 It's the most intense physical competition in the world. 314 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,957 It's banned in 49 states. 315 00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,376 What are you talking about? 316 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,211 Okay, my trainer, Hoshi, is teaching me... 317 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:53,047 ...a combination of Jeet Kune Do and Brazilian street-fighting. 318 00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:56,592 I even had my own octagon training ring designed. 319 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,679 And I suppose you used a ring designer for that. 320 00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:01,389 Yeah. 321 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:05,810 Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. 322 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,479 I want you close enough to smell the blood. 323 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,150 What do you think? 324 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,653 My parents will be so happy. 325 00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:23,828 Crazy underwear Creeping up my butt 326 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:29,500 Crazy underwear Always in a rut 327 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:32,336 Crazy underwear 328 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:37,091 Oh, no. What is he doing here? 329 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,177 All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. 330 00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:42,013 You'll get through this. You'll be fine. 331 00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,858 Okay, thank you. 332 00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:58,154 And as always, no one talk to me after the show. 333 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,201 Hey. 334 00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,703 I just was passing by and saw you were playing. 335 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,538 This is kind of cool, seeing you up there. 336 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,165 Well, hey. 337 00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,125 Whoa, hey, hey. 338 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,377 What's going on here? Who's this guy? 339 00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:18,049 I don't know. He just started kissing me. Get him, Vince. 340 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,260 What? 341 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:24,722 Yeah, okay, I've been dating both of you. 342 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:29,310 And it's been really horrible, because, you know, it's been... 343 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,729 ...a lot of fun for me. 344 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:37,360 But I like you both... 345 00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:39,987 ...and I didn't know how to choose. 346 00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:43,950 So I'm sorry. I'm terrible. I'm a terrible person. I'm terrible. 347 00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:47,620 Phoebe, Phoebe. Relax. It's okay. I mean... 348 00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:49,830 We never said this was exclusive. 349 00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:53,084 Yeah, neither did we. So give yourself a break. 350 00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,044 Really? 351 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:58,339 Yeah, I mean, you know, we haven't been going out that long. 352 00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:02,051 Come on, we haven't even slept together yet. Ha, ha. 353 00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:03,719 You haven't? 354 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:09,934 - You have? - Okay, well, this is none of my business. 355 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:15,856 I can't believe this. You slept with him? 356 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,818 Well, I made you a candlelight dinner in the park. 357 00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:22,989 You know, Phoebe, I'm gonna make this real easy for you. 358 00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:32,123 Well, that could've been really awkward. 359 00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:38,129 You made him a candlelight dinner in the park? 360 00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:42,133 Yeah, but I can do that for you. I'm gonna do that for you. 361 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,552 You know, I can't believe I went out with somebody... 362 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,597 ...who'd actually have an open flame in the middle of a wooded area. 363 00:21:57,691 --> 00:22:00,401 Everything's gonna be all right. 364 00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:03,237 Okay, Dick? 365 00:22:05,907 --> 00:22:07,783 Hello. I am Guru Saj. 366 00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:09,744 Whoa. 367 00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:13,456 He's supposed to be a duck, right? Because otherwise... 368 00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:16,000 ...this is way out of my league. 369 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:20,838 Yeah, yeah. He's got a really bad cough, and our vet, he can't do anything about it. 370 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,132 - Is there something you can do? - Hmm. 371 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:27,887 Let me see. 372 00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,682 Do you think you could get him to eat a bat?