1
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:04,962
[ROOSTER CROWING]

2
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:16,306
What the hell is that?

3
00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:18,851
[ROOSTER CROWS]

4
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:22,021
What the hell is that? Is that you?

5
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,690
[ROOSTER CROWS]

6
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:27,901
[GROANS]

7
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:32,281
- Boy, you're really not a morning person.
- Just back off!

8
00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:37,536
Get up! Get up! Get up!

9
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,710
What is that noise?

10
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,253
You.

11
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:49,965
It's the chick.

12
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:53,218
She's going through some changes.

13
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,804
What kind of changes?

14
00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:59,725
Well, the vet seems to think
that she's becoming a rooster.

15
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,811
[ROOSTER CROWS]

16
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,230
We're getting a second opinion.

17
00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:59,368
Hey, what are you doing shopping
at 8 in the morning?

18
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:00,744
Well, I've been up since 6...

19
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:03,872
...thanks to somebody's
dumb-ass rooster.

20
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:07,209
You guys,
you really should get rid of those animals.

21
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,794
They shouldn't be in an apartment.

22
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,297
Yeah, especially not with all these
knives and cookbooks around.

23
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:18,011
All right, I'm gonna go to the fertility doctor
and, uh, see if I'm ready...

24
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:21,181
...to have Frank and Alice's embryo
transferred into my uterus.

25
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:24,852
Now, how will they know if you're ready?

26
00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:28,397
Oh, they're just gonna look and see
if my endometrial layer is thick.

27
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:31,066
Oh, I can check that for you.

28
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,318
Okay, everyone, think "thick."

29
00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,404
GROUP:
Good luck.

30
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,656
PHOEBE: Hey. Wish me luck.
BOTH: Hey.

31
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,867
- Oh, good luck.
- Good luck.

32
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:43,328
- And I'm still right.
- That is so not true.

33
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,746
RACHEL:
What?

34
00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:47,249
She's mad because I know
today's her laundry day...

35
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:50,127
...and that means she's wearing
her old-lady underpants.

36
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,339
I can check that for you.

37
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,594
I just can't believe that you think that you
and Chandler know me and Rachel...

38
00:02:58,761 --> 00:02:59,845
...better than we know you.

39
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:03,056
Well, we do.

40
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:06,476
You can only eat Tic Tacs
in even numbers.

41
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,604
Yeah, what's that about?

42
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:12,191
And you. Ross,
I believe if you check Rachel's bag...

43
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:15,235
...you will find a half-eaten box
of cookies in there.

44
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,158
You're good.

45
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,203
These are not.

46
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:27,664
I'm so not impressed.
Everybody snacks when they shop.

47
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:28,874
- Yeah.
JOEY: Oh, yeah?

48
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,335
Ross, how many items left in that bag?

49
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,212
- Five.
- Okay.

50
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:38,008
Ten bucks says that we can name
every item in that bag.

51
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,761
- How many guesses do you get?
- Six.

52
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,554
Challenge extended.

53
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,851
- Deal.
- Challenge accepted.

54
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,896
All right, we'll start with...

55
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:52,731
...apples.

56
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,984
We'll be starting with apples.

57
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,030
Stop that now.

58
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,075
Yes.

59
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,494
Okay. Uh, tortilla chips.

60
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,204
- Yogurt.
- Diet soda.

61
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,957
Yes, yes, yes.

62
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,169
- Orange juice.
- No, there's no orange juice in there.

63
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,712
- We win.
- Ha, ha.

64
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,589
They have another guess.

65
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,717
Okay, well, we won that one.

66
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,553
Okay. The last thing is...

67
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,806
Ooh, ooh, ooh.

68
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:30,560
No, no. Not for, like, another two weeks.

69
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:36,775
I got it. Scotch...

70
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,443
...tape.

71
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,450
How did you know
she would buy Scotch tape?

72
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,828
Well, we used up theirs last night
making scary faces.

73
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,246
[BOTH CHUCKLING]

74
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,498
Oh, man.

75
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:54,543
All right. Ten bucks. Fork it over.

76
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:57,879
Cough it up. Pay the piper.

77
00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,756
Give me it.

78
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,385
That does not mean you know us better.
I want a rematch.

79
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:07,055
Yeah, and none of these stupid grocery
questions. Real personal questions.

80
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,558
Yeah. And the winner gets 100 bucks.

81
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:11,685
Serious?

82
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,645
Are you scared?

83
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,523
No.

84
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,901
Okay, who makes up the questions?

85
00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:21,570
Ross will do it.

86
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,239
Oh, sure, Ross will do it.

87
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:28,327
It's not like he has a job
or a child or a life of his own.

88
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:30,370
Well, fine. We'll ask Phoebe.

89
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:31,830
No, no, no, I wanna play.

90
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:40,422
Looks like your uterus
is ready for implantation.

91
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:43,300
Oh, I knew it. I knew it.
I felt really thick this morning.

92
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,886
- Ha, ha.
- Okay, so, what's now?

93
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,513
Go get the eggs. Put them in there.

94
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:52,434
Okay. It'll take just a little while
to prepare the embryos.

95
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:56,229
- Embryos? As in more than one?
- Mm-hm. Five, actually.

96
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,690
Five? Okay, where am I giving birth...

97
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,859
...in a hospital
or a big box under the stairs?

98
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:04,613
Ha, ha. We do five because
that gives you a 25-percent chance...

99
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,531
...that at least one will attach.

100
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,617
That's it? Twenty-five percent?

101
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:12,537
That means that it's, like,
75-percent chance of no baby at all?

102
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,748
Yeah, you know, I was thinking,
what are the odds...

103
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,709
...if, like, you stuff, like,
200 of them in there?

104
00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,879
Sweetie, now...

105
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,923
...she's a woman,
not a gumball machine.

106
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,466
[BOTH LAUGHING]

107
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,178
Okay, well, you know what? Don't worry.

108
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:31,348
I'm gonna do this as many times
as it takes to get it right.

109
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:35,727
Well, see, the thing is,
we kind of only have one shot.

110
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:39,314
Um, it costs $16,000
each time you do this.

111
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:45,070
So, um, we're kind of using all the money
we have to do it just this one time.

112
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,905
Whoa.

113
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:51,535
That's... Okay, that's a lot of pressure
on me and my uterus.

114
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:53,787
So... Well, okay.

115
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:58,083
So maybe there's something that I can do,
you know, just to make sure I get pregnant.

116
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,668
No, I'm sorry.

117
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,587
Wow, you guys
really don't know anything.

118
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,590
I know. Why doesn't she get drunk?

119
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:08,677
That worked for a bunch of girls
in my high school.

120
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:17,060
Hey, guys. Do you realize
that any minute now...

121
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,687
...Phoebe could be pregnant?

122
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:19,855
I know, I know.

123
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:24,359
- It's such a huge, life-altering thing.
- I know.

124
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,237
The test is ready.

125
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,655
[ALL SHOUTING]

126
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:34,661
Okay. Each team will answer
10 questions.

127
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:38,457
The first team to answer
the most questions wins.

128
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:42,169
The categories are
"Fears And Pet Peeves"...

129
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:44,337
..."Ancient History"...

130
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:46,006
..."Literature"...

131
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:48,425
...and "It's All Relative."

132
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:55,307
Now, the coin toss,
to see who goes first.

133
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,690
Okay.

134
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,735
- Somebody call it this time.
- Yeah.

135
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:08,820
MONICA:
Tails.

136
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,406
- It's heads.
BOTH: Yeah!

137
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,993
Gentlemen, pick your category.

138
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,078
"Fears And Pet Peeves."

139
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:21,166
"What is Monica's biggest pet peeve?"

140
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,293
- Animals dressed as humans.
- That's correct.

141
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,465
- Ladies?
- Same category.

142
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:29,925
Okay.

143
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:34,846
"According to Chandler, what phenomenon
scares the bejesus out of him?"

144
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,975
Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance.

145
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,478
That is correct.

146
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:42,771
[BOTH SHOUTING]

147
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,525
The Irish jig guy?

148
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:50,862
His legs flail about
as if independent from his body.

149
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:53,823
Gentlemen, your pick.

150
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:55,408
"It's All Relative."

151
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:58,912
"Monica and I had
a grandmother who died.

152
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,206
You both went to her funeral.

153
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:02,916
Name that grandmother."

154
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,464
- Nana?
- She has a real name.

155
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,174
- Althea.
- Althea?

156
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,676
- What are you doing?
- Took a shot.

157
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:13,885
Shooting with Althea?

158
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,596
- Althea is correct.
- Nice shooting.

159
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,476
We'll take "Literature."

160
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:26,773
"Every week, the TV Guide comes
to Chandler and Joey's apartment.

161
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:30,068
What name appears
on the address label?"

162
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,529
Oh! Chandler gets it. It's Chandler Bing.

163
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:33,738
No.

164
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:38,076
I'm afraid the TV Guide
comes to "Chanandler Bong."

165
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:42,622
I knew that.

166
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,791
Rachel, use your head.

167
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,962
Actually, it's Miss Chanandler Bong.

168
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,888
Hello, teeny embryos.

169
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:02,851
Oh, I'm Phoebe Buffay. Hi.

170
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:08,273
I'm hoping to be your uterus
for the next nine months.

171
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,735
You should know that
we're doing this for Frank and Alice...

172
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:14,154
...who you know. You've been there.

173
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,698
Um...

174
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,242
You know, they want you so much.

175
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:22,871
So when you guys get in there,
really grab on.

176
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:27,042
Okay, and I promise that I'll keep you
safe and warm...

177
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:30,545
...until, you know, you're ready
to have them take you home.

178
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,173
So...

179
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:34,799
Okay.

180
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:38,970
Oh, and also, next time you see me,
if I'm screaming, don't worry.

181
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,556
That's what's supposed to happen.

182
00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,141
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

183
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,268
- Ready?
- Uh-huh?

184
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,562
Good luck.

185
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,901
All right, the score is nine to eight
in favor of the guys.

186
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:56,655
Ladies, if you miss this,
the game is theirs. Pick your category.

187
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:58,740
"It's All Relative"!

188
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:03,411
- You don't have to shout everything.
- I'm sorry!

189
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:10,210
Ooh. "What is the name
of Chandler's father's...

190
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:13,213
...Las Vegas all-male burlesque?"

191
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:16,633
Viva Las Gaygas.

192
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,679
Unfortunately, that is correct.

193
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,514
Yes.

194
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,350
All right. We have a tie.

195
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:29,688
Luckily, I've prepared
for such an event.

196
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:33,692
- The Lightning Round.
ALL: Ooh.

197
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:39,489
Thirty seconds.
All the questions you can answer.

198
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,533
You guys are dead.

199
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,160
I am so good at Lightning Rounds.

200
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,665
I majored in Lightning Rounds,
all right?

201
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,209
- We're gonna destroy you.
- Want to bet?

202
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:55,088
Oh, I'm so confused as to what
we've been doing so far.

203
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:59,801
How about we play for more money?
Say 150?

204
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,679
One hundred and fifty dollars.

205
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,015
Say 200?

206
00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:08,810
Two hundred dollars.

207
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,478
You're doing it again.

208
00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:12,313
Excuse me.

209
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,316
- Monica, I don't want to lose $200.
- We won't.

210
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,693
- Okay.
- Three hundred?

211
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,238
- Monica.
- I'm just trying to spice it up.

212
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,992
Okay, so then play for some pepper.
Stop spending my money.

213
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:26,578
I got it.

214
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:30,081
How about if we win,
they have to get rid of the rooster.

215
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,083
Ooh, that's interesting.

216
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,335
Hey, no way. That rooster's family.

217
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:36,796
- Throw in the duck too.
- What do you have against the duck?

218
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:40,008
- It doesn't make noise.
- Well, he gets the other one all riled up.

219
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:43,303
- Look, we are not...
- All right, hold on.

220
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,723
If you win...

221
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,933
...we give up the bird.
- Aah!

222
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,354
But if we win...

223
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,690
...we get your apartment.

224
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,776
Ooh!

225
00:12:58,736 --> 00:12:59,778
Deal!

226
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:07,494
Monica, betting the apartment?
I don't know about this.

227
00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:10,246
Rachel, I have not missed
one question the whole game.

228
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:11,664
I own this game.

229
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,041
Look at my hand.

230
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,251
Why, do you have the answers
written on there?

231
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,839
No. Steady as a rock.
Now, are you with me?

232
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,676
- All right, let's do it. Okay.
- Come on.

233
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,054
ROSS:
All right. Gentlemen, you're up first.

234
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,263
CHANDLER & JOEY:
Okay.

235
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:29,724
You have 30 seconds.

236
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,061
The Lightning Round begins...

237
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,687
Stop it.

238
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,651
Now. "What was Monica's nickname
when she was a field-hockey goalie?"

239
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,778
- Big Fat Goalie.
- Correct.

240
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,783
"Rachel claims
this is her favorite movie."

241
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,368
- Dangerous Liaisons.
ROSS: Correct.

242
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:51,204
- "Her actual favorite is?" Correct.
- Weekend at Bernie's.

243
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:57,627
"In what part of her body did Monica
get a pencil stuck at age 14?"

244
00:13:57,795 --> 00:13:59,087
Oh!

245
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:02,924
Ew, no!

246
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:06,344
Her ear.

247
00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:13,726
All right, "Monica categorizes her towels.
How many categories are there?"

248
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:15,270
- Okay, everyday use.
- Fancy.

249
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:16,855
- Guest.
- Fancy guest.

250
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,982
- Two seconds.
- Uh, eleven?

251
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,360
Eleven. Unbelievable.
Eleven is correct.

252
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:23,778
Yes!

253
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:27,407
All right.

254
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,868
That's four for the guys.
Ladies, you're up.

255
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,828
All right, all right, come on!

256
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,876
Thirty seconds on the clock.

257
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,545
Five correct questions wins the game.

258
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:44,382
The Lightning Round begins now.
"What is Joey's favorite food?"

259
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,009
- Sandwiches.
ROSS: Correct.

260
00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:48,720
"Chandler was how old
when he first touched a girl's breast?"

261
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,221
- Fourteen?
- No, 19.

262
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:51,764
Thanks, man.

263
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,601
"Joey had an imaginary
childhood friend.

264
00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:56,394
- His name was..."
- Maurice.

265
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,146
- "His profession was?"
- Space cowboy.

266
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,606
ROSS:
Correct.

267
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,151
"What is Chandler Bing's job?"

268
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:06,738
Oh.

269
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,657
Oh, gosh.
It has something to do with numbers.

270
00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:11,868
- And processing.
- And he carries a briefcase.

271
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,454
Ten seconds.
You need this or you lose the game.

272
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,539
It has something to do
with transponding.

273
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:19,792
Oh! Oh! He's a transponster.

274
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,546
That's not even a word!

275
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,717
I can get this. I can get this.

276
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,762
No!

277
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,138
BOTH:
Yes!

278
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:48,029
- I call Monica's room.
- You can't just call Monica's room.

279
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:51,950
Sure I can. Standard Shotgun Rules.
I'm in sight of the room and I called it.

280
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:53,368
[SCOFFS]

281
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:55,703
[MOUTHS]
Damn.

282
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,957
Man, I feel like I'm coming down
with something.

283
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,042
JOEY: Oh.
- Yeah.

284
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:04,087
Bet you can't guess what color
my tonsils are. I bet the apartment.

285
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,839
Oh, I would never bet this apartment.
It's too nice.

286
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,636
- Hey.
- Ooh, Pheebs, are they in there?

287
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,638
Um, yeah, uh-huh, I'm implanted.

288
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:17,392
- How do you feel?
- Well, freaked.

289
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:21,354
Because it turns out the odds
are, like, really sucky.

290
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,232
And this is Frank and Alice's,
like, only shot.

291
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,819
I mean, they are, like, literally putting
all their eggs in my basket.

292
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,155
Yeah, but I bet it works.

293
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,574
Really? How much?

294
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:38,162
All right, I'm gonna go take
a pregnancy test right now.

295
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:40,248
Oh, wow. You can tell this soon?

296
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,542
Well, the doctor says
it takes a couple days.

297
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:47,005
But, I mean, my body's always been
a little faster than Western medicine, so...

298
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,383
[CLEARS THROAT]

299
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:54,345
Oh, my God. I can't believe you guys
actually think you're moving in here.

300
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,931
Well, believe it, baby.

301
00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,726
Well, I'm not moving.

302
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,185
What?

303
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:05,398
No. It was a stupid bet.
We were just playing a game.

304
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,942
You just can't ignore the bet. It's a bet.

305
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:10,653
You bet on a bet, and if you lose,
you lose the bet.

306
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,281
Rach, we have to move.

307
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,867
If we had lost, we would have
made them get rid of the birds.

308
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,243
[SCOFFS]

309
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,995
No.

310
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:24,917
All right, look, I hate this as much as you,
but if it makes you feel better...

311
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:27,211
...this is all your fault.

312
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:31,090
- What?
- Chanandler Bong.

313
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,384
Come on, we steal that TV Guide
every week.

314
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,470
I knew it.

315
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,848
I don't care. I'm not going anywhere.

316
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,267
Cool. Girl roommate.

317
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:42,810
[SCOFFS]

318
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,439
MONICA:
Well?

319
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,858
Nope, not knocked up yet.

320
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,527
It's only been a couple hours,
so just give it some time.

321
00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:54,989
Yeah, all right. Meanwhile,
I'm gonna do whatever I can to help this...

322
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:59,160
...so I'm just gonna, you know,
lie in your chair, okay?

323
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:00,995
You know, just...

324
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,956
Yeah, good. I'm gonna let gravity,
you know, do its jobs.

325
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:11,422
Hey, Rach, can you give me a hand
with this box?

326
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:15,134
No. Put that box down.
We are not going anywhere!

327
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:19,347
This is my apartment and I like it.

328
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,682
This is a girl's apartment.

329
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:26,270
That is a boy's apartment.
It's dirty and it smells.

330
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:29,357
This is pretty. It's so pretty.

331
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,734
And look, and it's purple.

332
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:35,530
And I'm telling you, you with
your steady hand, I am not moving.

333
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,699
And now I have got the steady hand.

334
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,494
- I'll take care of it.
RACHEL: That's right.

335
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,579
You do what the hand says.

336
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,969
- How'd it go?
- I lost our mattresses.

337
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,723
[PHOEBE PLAYING GUITAR]

338
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,351
[SINGING]
Are you in there, little fetus?

339
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,979
In nine months, will you come greet us?

340
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:12,942
I will buy you some Adidas

341
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,944
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

342
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:17,572
- Hi.
- Hi.

343
00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:19,699
Oh, hi, Phoebe?

344
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:24,495
Um, we were just at the drugstore,
um, so we got you a little present.

345
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,916
Um, it's a lollipop
and a home pregnancy test.

346
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:33,337
Hey, don't mix those up.
You could really ruin that lollipop.

347
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:41,554
So, um, you feel like taking a test?
There's only one question.

348
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,264
[BOTH LAUGHING]

349
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:46,559
All right. I will. No, I will.

350
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:49,395
But, um, you know, just remember
that it's still really early.

351
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:51,731
Okay, so if it says
that I'm not pregnant...

352
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,358
...that doesn't mean
I'm not gonna get pregnant, okay?

353
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:57,445
And just, please,
just so I don't go completely nuts...

354
00:19:57,613 --> 00:20:00,948
...just try not to put all your hopes
on this, okay?

355
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,158
BOTH:
Okay.

356
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:03,743
[SQUEALS]

357
00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:06,454
Great.

358
00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:13,794
[LAUGHS]

359
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:17,965
You know what? You are mean boys
who are just being mean.

360
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:21,469
Hey, don't get mad at us.
No one forced you to raise the stakes.

361
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:24,222
That is not true. She did. She forced me.

362
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,933
We'd still be here if you hadn't
got the question wrong.

363
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,435
Well, it was a stupid, unfair question!

364
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,270
Don't blame the questions!

365
00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:33,689
Would you all stop yelling
in our apartment?

366
00:20:33,857 --> 00:20:35,858
You are ruining moving day for us.

367
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:38,653
- Would you stop calling it your apartment?
- It is ours.

368
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,655
[ALL SHOUTING]

369
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,324
Guys, you guys,
you're gonna have a baby.

370
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:45,076
They're gonna have a baby.

371
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,919
My sister's going to have my baby!

372
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,175
[ALL SHOUTING]

373
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:06,430
Okay, but this can't be good
for the baby.

374
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,350
[ALL CHEERING]

375
00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:20,528
I can't find garbage bags.

376
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,863
Oh, I think I saw some in here.

377
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:25,241
[BOTH SCREAMING]

378
00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:29,370
What is it?

379
00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:34,375
I don't know. But maybe if we keep
that drawer shut, it'll die.

380
00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:38,254
I can't believe we're living here.

381
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:39,880
[BIRDS CLUCKING AND QUACKING]

382
00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:43,843
[JOEY YELLS]

383
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,177
What? What is it?

384
00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:47,054
Did you see the size of the closets?

385
00:21:48,932 --> 00:21:52,143
I can't believe we live here.

386
00:21:57,941 --> 00:22:01,527
[BOTH GROANING]

387
00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:09,660
[English - US - SDH]