1
00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:04,712
So, now, what is this, now?

2
00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:07,172
- Googlie Worm.
- Ha-ha-ha.

3
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:08,382
And this?

4
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:09,967
Glow Pop Jiggly Jam.

5
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,593
[LAUGHS]

6
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:14,013
Bait is so funny.

7
00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:17,016
Hey, um, what's this?

8
00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:20,227
Oh, a hunk of sandwich from last year.

9
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:25,566
Oh, Geller's got one hooked.
Oh! Looks like a big one. Oh! Oh!

10
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:28,944
It's the classic struggle between man...

11
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,198
Someone knocked over a lamp.

12
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:38,120
Hey, you know what's gonna be great
about the fishing trip?

13
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:41,957
When my dad gives me that, "Joey,
what are you doing with your life?" stuff...

14
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:45,127
...I can say, "Well, I'm doing a movie
with Charlton Heston, Dad.

15
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,254
- What are you doing with your life?"
- Aw.

16
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,762
You don't have to stop having fun
just because I'm here.

17
00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:57,639
Kathy didn't cheat on all of you.

18
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,517
Well, except you.

19
00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:12,404
I don't think you should
leave Chandler alone.

20
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,990
It's only been two days
since he broke up with Kathy.

21
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,742
You can go fishing next week.

22
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,953
There's nothing I can do right now.
He's still in his sweatpants.

23
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,039
That's only phase one.

24
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:26,418
You know? I'll be back for phase two.
I would never miss phase two.

25
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,212
What's phase two?

26
00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,506
Getting drunk and going to a strip club.

27
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,260
How does going to a strip club
make him better?

28
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,471
There are naked ladies there.

29
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:41,016
It helps him get to phase three,
picturing yourself with other women.

30
00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:44,019
- There are naked ladies there too.
- Yeah.

31
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,482
Would you give me one minute, please?

32
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:42,494
So these will match the jacket
you picked out for me last week?

33
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:43,954
RACHEL:
Mm-hm.

34
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,914
There we go.

35
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,501
There it is.

36
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,128
- Oh, you know what I need?
- Yeah?

37
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,756
- Gloves. Brown leather dress gloves.
- Oh, okay.

38
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:58,218
Uh, well, let's see. You're about a...
Well, this one is large. Ha, ha.

39
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,470
And, uh, this one...

40
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,890
- Also a large?
- Yeah. Okay.

41
00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:05,475
- Yeah.
- Two larges coming right up. Ha, ha.

42
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,228
[SIGHS]

43
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,272
- Rachel, could I have a moment?
RACHEL: Yes.

44
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,192
I was wondering, my niece, you see,
is in town from London.

45
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,652
- Uh-huh.
- Shropshire, really, but you know.

46
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,988
She's about your age, I'd say.

47
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,825
Anyway, I have tickets for the opera.
Die Fledermaus.

48
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,703
I was wondering if you would
keep her company this evening.

49
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,330
- Sure. You got it.
WALTHAM: Oh, good.

50
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:29,291
Count me in. Me, Fledermaus. Great.
I really...

51
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:34,213
Oh, yes, of course. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you so very much.

52
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,839
So?

53
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:39,259
So...

54
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:46,475
- Gloves?
- Oh, right. Sorry, I'll be right back.

55
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,977
JOSHUA:
Actually, you know what? I gotta take off.

56
00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:52,105
But I was curious,
do you have any plans for tonight?

57
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,191
No, nothing.

58
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:57,194
I invested in this nightclub.
Would you like to come?

59
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,279
Yeah, that would be great.

60
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,365
You're into hard-core S and M, right?

61
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,286
- [STAMMERS] Well, I guess.
- I'm kidding.

62
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,830
Oh. Ha-ha-ha. Whew.

63
00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:12,334
I'm gonna put you on the VIP list, okay?
Look for me.

64
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,711
- Yeah. Great. You betcha.
- I'll see you tonight.

65
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,880
RACHEL: Okay.
- Okay.

66
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:19,716
- I almost forgot the tickets, didn't I?
- What?

67
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:23,220
For you and Emily. Tonight.
Die Fledermaus.

68
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,515
Oh. Oh, right.

69
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,309
I think you'll like it.
It has two of the Three Tenors.

70
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,937
Okay.

71
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:40,904
I can't believe Kathy did this to me.
I really thought that she was the one.

72
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,448
Well, I'll tell you what.

73
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,118
From now on,
I am not getting out of this chair, ever.

74
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,454
Okay? From now on,
this chair is the one.

75
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,457
You know what else is the one?
My sweatpants.

76
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:56,461
Come on, man,
just take the sweats off, okay?

77
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:59,047
Just take them off
and we'll have some fun.

78
00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:04,511
- Hey.
ROSS & MONICA: Hi.

79
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,222
- Did you catch any big fish?
- Oh, my God, you guys have no idea.

80
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,974
PHOEBE: Oh, wow.
- Oh, my God, you stink.

81
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,434
Oh, are you kidding?

82
00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:13,061
Three days on the lake without a shower.

83
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:16,273
Plus, I fell into that big tub of worms
at the bait stand.

84
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,526
Hey, how's he doing?

85
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,820
He hasn't gotten out of that chair
in two days.

86
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,405
Ahem. Hey, buddy, how's it going?

87
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:24,740
[CHUCKLES]

88
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:33,290
You see that?
He just needed his pal to come home.

89
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,916
I gotta go memorize my lines.

90
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:37,669
Me and Charlton Heston,
bright and early tomorrow, baby.

91
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,463
- Yeah.
ROSS: Yeah.

92
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:41,798
- Hey.
ROSS: Hey.

93
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,717
PHOEBE: Hey.
- Hey, Monica.

94
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:47,220
- Uh-oh. What's the matter?
- Oh...

95
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:51,558
Joshua invited me
to this fancy club opening tonight.

96
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:52,768
[SIGHS]

97
00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,603
But I already told Mr. Waltham...

98
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:59,107
...that I would take his niece
to the dumb old opera.

99
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,735
So, what are you gonna do?

100
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:05,405
- I don't know, sweetie.
- No. Help me.

101
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,658
- I can't. I have to work.
- Phoebe?

102
00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:11,244
I would, but I get my morning sickness
in the evening.

103
00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:12,454
[SIGHS]

104
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:15,582
Ooh, no, unless she wants to spend
the night holding my hair back for me.

105
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:19,628
Ugh. Gosh, you guys, come on. This is...
I have to meet Joshua.

106
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,422
This is my one chance
for him to see the fun Rachel.

107
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:26,718
You know, the "Wouldn't it be great
if she were my wife?" Rachel.

108
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:28,762
[MUTTERS]

109
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,555
Are Joey and Chandler back?

110
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:33,892
Oh, Chandler's still in phase one,
and Joey's that thing you smell.

111
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,310
Oh.

112
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:44,111
Hi.

113
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,781
So?

114
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:51,201
No.

115
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,537
Oh, come on.

116
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,122
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

117
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:58,834
- I think she's here.
- No, wait, wait, wait. Ross, please?

118
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:02,337
You want me to take some girl
I've never met to the opera...

119
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,715
...so you can go to a club
and flirt with some guy?

120
00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:09,261
Hmm. Yeah, that is a toughie.

121
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,471
Oh, she's looking down the hall.

122
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:12,681
[GASPS]

123
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,599
She looked right at me.

124
00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:18,478
Oh, wait, you can't see people
through that little hole, can you?

125
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,690
Hello.

126
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,692
WOMAN: Hello?
- Aah!

127
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,446
Oh, I'll be right there.
Okay, Ross, please. Come on.

128
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,030
I thought we had moved on.

129
00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:32,534
I thought we'd gotten to a place
where we could be happy for each other.

130
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:33,952
I mean, was that just me?

131
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:39,749
- All right, I'll do it.
- Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

132
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,169
- Emily?
- Yes.

133
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:45,297
- I'm Rachel Green.
- Thank goodness.

134
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:49,801
There has been a teeny change of plans.
It turns out I'm not free tonight, so...

135
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,053
Really? Heh.

136
00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:56,558
That's lovely. I must have missed your call,
even though I didn't leave the flat all day.

137
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,977
- Well, no, I...
- No, no, no, that's not rude.

138
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,562
It's in keeping with a trip...

139
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:04,691
...where I've already been run down
by one of your wiener carts...

140
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,527
...and been strip-searched
at John F. Kennedy Airport.

141
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,279
Apparently, I look like someone...

142
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,782
...who's got a balloon full of cocaine
stuffed up their bum.

143
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:18,038
I think you look great.

144
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,583
Good night.
It was very nice to meet you all.

145
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,588
I'll get her.

146
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,424
- Please hurry.
- Okay.

147
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:32,719
Don't you just love the way they talk?

148
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,387
"Ooh. Oh."

149
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,271
Oh!

150
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:45,440
- What?
- It kicked. I think the baby kicked.

151
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:46,900
- Oh, my God.
- Ha, ha.

152
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:50,820
Oh, no, wait. Oh. That was the elastic
in my underwear busted.

153
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,658
Oh, my God. I overslept.

154
00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:58,328
I was supposed to be on the set
a half an hour ago. I gotta get out of here.

155
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,830
What? Joey, you can't go like that.
You stink.

156
00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:03,750
I fell asleep before I could shower.
Now I don't have time.

157
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,419
They're 10 blocks away.
If I run, I can make it.

158
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,922
Yeah, run 10 blocks.
That'll help the smell.

159
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:12,634
Hey. Whoa! Slow down.
No, keep moving. Whoa.

160
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:16,972
- So how did it go with Joshua last night?
- Oh. Well, I didn't see Joshua.

161
00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:20,058
But I did punch a girl in the face.

162
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,268
- What?
- Why?

163
00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:23,853
The whole night was horrible.
It was pouring rain.

164
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:28,984
And there was no Rachel Green on the list,
but there was a Rachel Greep.

165
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,944
Oh. So did you get to meet her?

166
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:37,659
No, there is no Rachel Greep.
But then this other girl overheard us.

167
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:41,371
And she was all, "I'm Rachel Greep,
I'm Rachel Greep," and he let her in.

168
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,999
- So you hit her in the face?
- No, she was already in.

169
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:47,502
But then this big bitch behind me
tried to steal my umbrella...

170
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:48,753
...so I clocked her.

171
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,090
Ugh. I can't believe this.

172
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:56,678
All I wanted was just a few hours
outside of work to see Joshua...

173
00:09:56,846 --> 00:10:00,348
...so that he could go ahead
and start falling in love with me.

174
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:05,186
Aw. Pheebs.

175
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:07,981
Honey, that's your name.

176
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:13,570
That's short for Phoebe?
I thought that's what we called each other.

177
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,409
MONICA: Hey, you're wearing pants.
- That's right.

178
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:22,454
Where are the guys?
I'm ready to get drunk and see strippers.

179
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:27,334
- It's 9:30 in the morning.
- They got a breakfast buffet.

180
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,502
[PHONE RINGS]

181
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:32,547
- Hello? Oh, hey, Ross.
- Ooh. Let me talk to him.

182
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:33,757
Oh, my God.

183
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,258
- Can't I just...?
- Shh. Wait, what?

184
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,761
- It's my phone and she's shush...
- Shh. Please.

185
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,346
What's he saying?

186
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,098
He's with Emily at a bed and breakfast
in Vermont.

187
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,184
What? Oh, my God.

188
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:47,729
Who the hell is Emily? No.

189
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,233
They're in Vermont?
How did this happen?

190
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:53,818
Ow.

191
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,364
How did he end up in Vermont
with that awful witch?

192
00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,908
Maybe she doesn't hit him all the time.

193
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,744
ROSS [OVER PHONE]:
When we met her...

194
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,913
...she was soaking, her feet were wet.

195
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,665
Who wouldn't be miserable?

196
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:11,127
Once I got her into a dry pair of shoes,
she was a totally different person.

197
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,923
Ross, come quickly. There's a deer outside
eating fruit from the orchard.

198
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:18,927
I gotta go! There's a deer outside
eating fruit from the orchard!

199
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:25,308
He had to go. There was a deer outside
eating fruit from the orchard.

200
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,104
I don't get this. She was horrible.

201
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:31,314
Okay, I'm gonna go stand over there.

202
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:36,695
- Why do you care so much, anyway?
- I don't care.

203
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,741
You know what? I'm just upset
that I'm getting nowhere with Joshua.

204
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:46,162
Know what? Still, you do not just meet
someone and go flitting off to Vermont.

205
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:49,374
Well, when you first met Barry,
you flitted off to Vail.

206
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:54,504
Ugh. You know, could you just for once
not remember every little thing?

207
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,968
So, you know, when's he getting back?

208
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,636
- A couple of days.
- Know what?

209
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:03,972
I knew something like this
was gonna happen.

210
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,224
What are you doing?

211
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,644
Chandler. You can't just go back a phase.

212
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:13,273
Yes, you can. You're thinking about time.
You can't go back in time.

213
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:19,696
Why don't you just...? Why don't you do
your phase-two strip-club thing with us?

214
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:23,158
- Yeah, come on, we can be guys.
- Heh. No, you can't.

215
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,995
Come on, let us be guys.
Maybe we wanna be guys.

216
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,288
You don't wanna be guys.

217
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,207
You'd be all hairy
and you wouldn't live as long.

218
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:32,667
You know, you...

219
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:36,588
Would you just stop being such a wuss
and get those off?

220
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,716
And you come with us
and watch naked girls dance around.

221
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,011
Okay.

222
00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:46,181
I'm sorry.

223
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,021
Hey, Joey Tribbiani. I'm here, I'm here.

224
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:55,190
Calm down, we got time.
We're running a little late.

225
00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:56,399
Oh.

226
00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:00,069
All set.

227
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:07,035
Look at that.
Charlton Heston eating a licorice whip.

228
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:10,246
Yeah, he loves them.
I've never seen him with...

229
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:13,583
[SNIFFING]

230
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:18,713
Whoa. Yeah. What the hell is that?
What smells so bad?

231
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:20,840
- You.
- Oh.

232
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:25,887
I could see why you would think that.
But actually, you know who I think it is?

233
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:29,891
- You?
- No, no. It's Heston.

234
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,562
- What?
- The man reeks.

235
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,982
Smells like he went on a three-day
fishing trip and then ate licorice. Ick.

236
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,859
There's no way he smells.

237
00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:43,154
He's the only one around here
with a shower in his dressing room.

238
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:47,325
Really? A shower, huh?
And, uh, which room might that be?

239
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,745
The one with "Heston" on it.

240
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,832
Interesting.

241
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,422
[DEPECHE MODE'S
"IT'S NO GOOD" PLAYING]

242
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,842
Gonna take my time

243
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:10,348
Hey. I got some ones.
You wanna put them in her panties?

244
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,934
No, thanks, Mom.

245
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,689
Oh. No. Um, hi. That, that.

246
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,608
You have to put that out
because I'm pregnant, so...

247
00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:24,529
Well, maybe you and your baby
ought to go to another strip club.

248
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,740
Heh, heh. It's not my baby. Heh, heh.

249
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,454
Very good. Yes. That was so good.

250
00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:38,042
Really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic.

251
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,963
Well, I just checked our messages,
and Joshua didn't call.

252
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:45,550
I mean, you would think he'd be worried
about me not showing up.

253
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:50,513
Ugh. And you know what makes it worse?
Ross is all happy in Vermont.

254
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,641
Come on, look where you are.

255
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:58,938
- Another round of daiquiris.
- Remember, virgin for me, please.

256
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:02,400
Oh, and don't let me leave
without getting the name of that carpet guy.

257
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,193
Oh, come on.

258
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,488
You know what?
I'm just gonna go home and call Kathy.

259
00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:10,825
- Well, if you think it'll help.
- No. That was a test.

260
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,953
In a couple hours, I'm gonna get drunk
and wanna call Kathy...

261
00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:15,371
...and you have to stop me.

262
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:18,416
Then I'm gonna be so drunk,
I'm gonna wanna call Janice.

263
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,335
- You should. How is she?
- Oh!

264
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,714
I think somebody
needs another lap dance.

265
00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:27,425
[MIMICS GUNSHOT
THEN BLOOD SPLASHING]

266
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,681
[WATER RUNNING]

267
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:36,809
[DOOR CLOSES]

268
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,984
Hello? Who's in there?

269
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,616
How you doing?

270
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:54,577
Who in the hell are you?

271
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:58,247
Uh, guess you wouldn't believe me
if I said I was Kirk Douglas, huh?

272
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:03,211
Put some pants on, kid,
so I can kick your butt.

273
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,297
No, no, no, wait. You don't understand.

274
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:09,300
See, I'm an actor.

275
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:13,388
Joey Tribbiani.
I'm doing a scene with you today.

276
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:14,764
And, well, I stink.

277
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,976
- You're in this picture?
- Yeah, yeah.

278
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:21,771
I'm one of the cops who won't work
with you because you're a loose cannon.

279
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:24,899
Anyway, look, I'm really sorry, but I just...
I stink.

280
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:29,404
- Joey, right?
- Yeah.

281
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:36,035
Every actor, one time or another... Ah.

282
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,540
Every actor thinks he stinks.

283
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:44,252
Even Laurence Olivier
sometimes thought he stank.

284
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:48,214
- Bob Redford won't even watch himself.
- No, no, no, you don't understand.

285
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,758
- Listen to me.
- No... Yeah.

286
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,553
I don't know one actor worth his salt...

287
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:58,349
...who one time in his career didn't say,
"God, I stink."

288
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:03,104
Hell, I just did a scene out there.
First take, I stunk the place up.

289
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:08,693
But the important thing
that you must remember...

290
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,821
...no matter how badly
you think you stink...

291
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:17,618
...you must never, ever bust into
my dressing room and use my shower.

292
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,787
Do you understand me?

293
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:22,999
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'm very sorry.
- Wait a minute.

294
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,960
- Take your pants.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.

295
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:28,671
[CHUCKLES]

296
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:32,300
- So we did okay at the strip club, right?
- Oh, yeah. That was great.

297
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,053
Thanks to you,
the hottest waitress there is quitting...

298
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,221
...to teach the third grade.

299
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,099
I can't believe it. He still hasn't called.

300
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,477
- Who, Josh?
- It's "Joshua."

301
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,146
- What, he doesn't like "Josh"?
- No, I don't.

302
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,816
All right.
Well, I'm gonna put my sweats back on.

303
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,985
No, wait. You know what?
You were right.

304
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:54,072
We really weren't great at being guys.
But do you know why?

305
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,616
Because we're girls.

306
00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:59,786
- Yeah.
- Do you know what girls are good at?

307
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:01,204
Stripping.

308
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,334
No, listening. Sit.

309
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:11,339
You know, maybe it would really,
really help if you would just talk.

310
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,509
Yeah, come on.
What's going on in there?

311
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:17,178
MONICA:
Yeah.

312
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:20,848
And you know, if you wanna cry,
that's okay too.

313
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,519
Okay, look,
I'm gonna have to ask you all to leave.

314
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:26,104
Come on, Chandler.

315
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:30,525
Look, forget it.
We tried, but phase three is a lost cause.

316
00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:32,360
Those strippers were insanely hot...

317
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:35,404
...and I couldn't picture myself
with any of them.

318
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,619
- They really were pretty, weren't they?
RACHEL & PHOEBE: Oh.

319
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,330
- I really liked that fighter pilot one.
MONICA: Oh, Candy?

320
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:48,126
- Oh, she was so spunky.
- Yeah.

321
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:51,254
You know,
I think if I were gonna be with a woman...

322
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,591
...it'd be with someone like Michelle.

323
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:58,803
She was... Oh, she was just so petite.

324
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,514
See, I don't know.
For me, it would have to be Chantal.

325
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,015
- Oh, Chantal, yeah.
- Chantal.

326
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,560
RACHEL:
You know? Oh, my God. The... Oh.

327
00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,186
She had the smoothest skin.

328
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:11,691
I mean, when I stuck that dollar bill
in her G-string and grazed her thigh...

329
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,818
Phase three!

330
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,736
I just achieved phase three!

331
00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:17,071
Really?

332
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,740
I am totally picturing you
with all those women.

333
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:25,288
- That's not phase three.
- Well, I'm there too.

334
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:30,793
- Well, are we all together in a group?
- Stop it, you're killing me.

335
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,879
I think I just moved on to phase four.

336
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,923
- Oh, what is that?
- Where I don't want a relationship ever.

337
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:39,594
I just wanna have sex with strippers
and my friends.

338
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,893
Come on. Let me see that smile.

339
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,227
I don't wanna.

340
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,021
Please?

341
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:53,107
I wanted to go to the strip club.

342
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,776
You're gonna have plenty of chances,
okay?

343
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:59,947
There are thousands of women out there
who are just waiting to screw me over.

344
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,117
Yeah, all right.

345
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:05,119
MONICA: Hey.
- Hey.

346
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,580
Hey. Ooh, how was Vermont?

347
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,708
Emily is incredible.

348
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,336
I mean,
there are no words to describe her.

349
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:17,423
The whole weekend was like a dream.

350
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:21,010
- Oh. And you. Rach. Hey.
- Oh, hey.

351
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:24,680
- You were so right.
- What?

352
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,642
What you said about us
finally being in a place...

353
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,769
...where we could really be happy
for each other.

354
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,188
- Hmm.
- I mean, I...

355
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:35,775
- I admit, I wasn't quite there.
- Mm-hm.

356
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:39,070
You know, I mean,
the thought of you and that Josh guy...

357
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:43,074
- "Joshua."
- Joshua guy at that club...

358
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,409
...dancing, having a good time.

359
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,328
And the thought of it kind of...

360
00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:49,538
- You know?
- Yeah.

361
00:20:49,706 --> 00:20:53,459
But now, but now, I'm totally there.

362
00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:55,878
I'm finally where you are.

363
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,797
Oh, thank goodness.

364
00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:01,008
Yeah, and thank you for Emily.

365
00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:04,845
Oh, no problem.
I'm so glad I could help, you know?

366
00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:06,889
I'm happy for you.

367
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,182
Happy for you.

368
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:11,686
Oh, no, happy for you.

369
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,609
All right, ladies,
here's what we're gonna do.

370
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,279
You are gonna take off my clothes.

371
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:23,614
You two go get the oils.

372
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:26,117
And you constantly scream
at the top of your voice:

373
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,661
"Chandler's the king!
Chandler's the king!"

374
00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:31,247
No, I wanna be with her. I like her.

375
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:34,542
Oh, that's fine. Go with your instincts.
Go with your instincts.

376
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,043
Wait, what am I doing again?

377
00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:39,088
Would you please pay attention?
I could wake up at any moment.

378
00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,757
Hi, I'm Joshua.
I'm here to pick up Rachel.

379
00:21:41,925 --> 00:21:43,759
No, no, no, that's not Joshua.

380
00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:47,054
What do you want from me?
I never met the guy.

381
00:21:48,056 --> 00:21:53,352
So anyway, Rachel, I'm sorry you can't stay.
The rest of us have a lot of work to do.

382
00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:58,691
What are you doing?

383
00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:01,736
All right, listen, I gotta wake up.

384
00:22:06,074 --> 00:22:08,075
[English - US - SDH]