It seems like all of a sudden, so much is happening.
I know. Ross is getting married.
Phoebe's making people.
- Everybody's doing stuff. - We just sit here.
If I died, the only way people would know I was here...
...would be by the ass print on this chair.
Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge.
[JOEY CLICKS FINGERS]
We could climb Mount Everest.
No, no. Not something stupid. Something huge.
No, no, no. I saw an ad for this video.
People climb that thing every day. We could totally do that.
Why not? I mean, it's just climbing.
It's just steep.
Yeah.
We're going to Everest. Okay? It'd be nice to leave an ass print on Everest.
- Hey. JOEY: Hey.
- What's up? - We're gonna climb Mount Everest.
- Yeah, baby. - Really?
I looked into that.
Yeah, but, I mean, it costs like $60,000, and, you know, you could die. And...
And you would die.
Oh, well.
We could get that Everest video.
Yeah, we could do that without, you know, risking our lives at all.
While we're down at the video store, we could rent Die Hard.
Oh. You know what? I just remembered.
That Everest thing is only available through mail order.
Oh, well.
So you guys will stay here and hang out with me?
JOEY: Yeah. Yeah. CHANDLER: Yeah.
But I'll tell you, one of these days...
...we're gonna get off our butts and rent Die Hard again.
Yeah, we are.
So, what did we decide? Does your uncle Nathan get an invite or not?
Oh, God. Nobody likes him.
And he's so cheap. He'd never fly to London in a million years.
Yeah, invite him.
Hey, did I do these neat enough?
- Yeah, they're fine. - Yeah?
If anyone asks, we'll say that Ben addressed them.
Oh. So you invited Rachel then?
Sure, why not?
- Really? - Yeah.
Well, I don't think I'd be comfortable having any of my old lovers there.
Wait, wait, wait. Do you think we shouldn't invite her?
Oh, no, no, Ross, you know I absolutely adore Rachel.
It's just that, well, I thought it might be a bit awkward for you.
But it's absolutely your decision.
- More tea? - Yeah, sure.
- Earl Grey? - Huh?
Fine, yeah, invite whoever you want.
I don't want to be single, okay? I just want to be married again.
And I just want a million dollars.
Rachel?
- Oh, God, Monica. Hi. Thank God. MONICA: Hi.
Okay. Everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.
This is everybody. This is Chandler and Phoebe...
...and Joey.
- Do you remember my brother, Ross? - Sure.
- Hey. Oh, God. RACHEL: Hi.
You know, back in high school...
...I had a, um, major crush on you.
- I knew. - You did? Oh, okay.
I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky brother.
- I did. - Oh.
Listen, do you think...?
And try not to let my intense vulnerability become a factor here.
Do you think it would be okay if I asked you out sometime maybe?
Yeah.
Maybe.
Okay.
Okay, maybe I will.
See, I see, uh...
...big passion in your future.
- Really? - I do.
Oh, Ross, you're so great. Aw...
[GRUNTS]
It's never gonna happen.
Okay, I have a question.
Well, uh, actually, it's not so much a question...
...as more of a general wondering...
...ment.
- Okay. - Okay.
[ROSS LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
Um, well, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um...
- Oh... - Yes. Yes. That's...
- Look at that little kitty. - That's right.
- What? - That little kitty.
[CAT SCREECHES AND ROSS YELLS]
ALL [SINGING]: Top of the world looking
Down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Listen, missy, if you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it.
Yes.
- Did you see that? - You were incredible.
A brand-new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you. I could not have done this without you.
Okay, um... Uh...
More clothes in the dryer?
- Oh. - Oh!
I'm fine. I'm fine.
You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me.
- What? - I was doing great with Julie...
...before I found out about you.
I was doing great before I found out about you.
You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
Well, the point is I don't need this right now.
Okay? It's too late.
I'm with somebody else. I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
All right, fine. Go ahead and do that, all right, Ross?
I don't need your stupid ship.
ROSS: Good. RACHEL: Good.
Oh!
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[SOBBING]
Oh.
Do you realize this is the first time I'm doing something I care about?
This is the first time I'm doing something I'm actually good at.
If you don't get that...
I get that. I get that bigtime. And I'm happy for you...
...but I'm tired of having a relationship with your answering machine.
- I don't know what to do anymore. - Well, neither do I.
Is this about Mark?
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
- Oh, my God. - Okay, it's not.
Oh, my God.
I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross.
No. You're making this too hard.
I'm making this too hard? What do you want me to do?
I don't know. I don't know. Look, maybe we should just take a break.
You're right. Let's take a break. Let's cool off, okay?
Let's get some frozen yogurt or something.
RACHEL: No.
A break from us.
- Do I know why we're rushing? - You know the girlfriend I told you about?
It turns out that she, uh, wants to get back together with me.
Oh, I found it!
- That's so great for you guys. - Yeah.
- Good luck with your girlfriend. - Oh, thank you... Ah, hey.
[ROSS LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]
Rachel!
RACHEL: Hi. Oh...
- You got my message? - You are right on time.
So, what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again?
Yes, you can very much.
Ah!
- I want you to leave. Get out. - No. No.
I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this.
All right. How was she?
Oh-oh.
- What? - Was she good?
Don't answer that.
You said you wanted to talk about it. Let's talk about it. How was she?
She was...
- Awful. - She was not good, not good.
Nothing compared to you.
She was different.
- Ooh! - Oh-oh.
Good different?
Nobody likes change.
Oh! Just stop.
[BOTH MUTTERING]
The way you owned up to everything...
...it just showed me how much you've grown, you know?
I mean, my mom never thought this would work out.
[CHUCKLES]
She was all, "Once a cheater, always a cheater."
ROSS: Mm-hm.
Oh...
I just wish we hadn't lost those four months.
But if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
We were on a break!
You seem to really like her.
Yeah, but what am I gonna do? We agreed it was gonna be a two-week thing.
You know? No commitment.
Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends...
...asking to hear stories about you...
...looking through Monica's photo albums.
I mean, you don't do that if you're just in it for two weeks.
You think? Heh.
You've got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport.
And you're sitting here in a hallway...
...with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
- Yeah, you're right. - Yeah.
Oh, this is so amazing.
I can't believe my brother's getting married, and in London.
It's so romantic.
Hey, pretty smart.
Tissue paper.
You're at the wedding. You have to cry.
Handkerchief? No, I got my invitation.
Oh, look, isn't this adorable?
Ross let Ben address mine.
- Hello. JOEY: Hey.
MONICA: Hey. PHOEBE: Hey.
Hey, did you get your invitation to Ross' wedding?
No.
Don't worry, man, I get to bring a guest. We'll show him.
I'm so jealous you're all going.
I can't believe I never knew you can't fly in your third trimester.
CHANDLER: I never knew that. MONICA: I didn't, either.
I knew that.
So didn't know that. But you should see your faces.
[JOEY LAUGHING]
- Hi, guys. What's up? CHANDLER: Hey.
We're hanging out.
What's this? Is this Ross' wedding invitation?
Maybe that's the one we should have actually hidden.
Oh, no. No, you guys, come on. You don't have to do that.
I'm happy for him.
I am. I really... I'm... I'm ha...
I'll work on it.
I'm sorry, honey.
RACHEL: Mm.
Rach, you're going to come though, aren't you?
Oh, honey, I don't know. I...
This isn't one of those "If she doesn't come, we don't come"?
Because I already bought my ticket...
You know what would be real weird? If you weren't there.
- Just say you'll think about it, okay? - No, I'll think about it. Yeah.
- Who's this from? - That's Ross'.
Oh.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Oh, my God.
He remembered.
Remembered what?
It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store.
I saw this pin, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had...
...when I was a little girl. Oh.
I can't believe he remembered.
This must have cost him a fortune.
I can't believe he did this.
Remember back in college when he fell in love with Carol...
...and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
What did you just say?
[STUTTERING]
Oh, my God.
WOMAN [OVER PA]: Flight number 457 from Beijing now arriving.
Oh, my God.
- We were in school together. - We haven't seen each other since then.
Well, I land in China. Guess who's in charge of the dig?
Julie!
Julie! Isn't that great?
Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Oh, that is so sweet.
No... Heh.
No... Okay. No, you hang up.
No, you... Okay. Okay.
One, two, three.
You didn't hang up either.
- She didn't hang up. - She didn't hang up either.
Okay, no.
No, you hang up.
You. You. Y...
[PHONE BEEPS]
Ross, hi.
It's Rachel.
I'm just calling to say that, um, everything's fine.
And I'm really happy for you...
...and your cat.
So obviously, I am over you.
I am over you.
And that, my friend, is what they call closure.
Rach, I got a message from you.
Oh, my God, no. Hang up the phone. Give me the phone.
Give me the phone, give me the phone. Give me the phone!
You're over me?
Oh, God.
- What...? You're, uh? - Oh, God.
You're over me?
RACHEL: Oh, my God. - When were you...
...under me?
Basically, ahem...
...lately, I've, uh...
Ahem. I've sort of had feelings for you.
Okay, I need to lie down.
He broke up with Julie.
[JOEY CHUCKLES]
Well, go hug her, for God's sakes.
- Really? - Really.
It's always been you, Rach.
Oh, God.
BOTH: Oh...
Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight.
Oh, that's okay.
- You're worth the wait. - Oh.
And I don't just mean tonight.
[CHRIS ISAAK'S "WICKED GAME" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
I never dreamed That I'd meet somebody like you
I never dreamed That I'd lose somebody like you
[ROSS GRUNTING]
[RACHEL LAUGHS]
No, I don't want to fall in love
RACHEL: Oh, God!
Oh. Honey.
Oh, that's okay.
Oh, no, you just rolled over the juice box.
Gunther, please tell me you didn't say anything to Rachel...
...about me and the girl from the copy place.
I'm sorry.
Was I not supposed to?
You're the one who ended it.
Yeah, because I was mad at you. Not because I stopped loving you.
You still love me?
No.
What does this mean? What do you...? I mean, do you want to get back together?
No. Maybe.
- I don't... I don't know. - What?
[SIGHS]
I just... I feel...
I can't believe I even thought of getting back together with you. We are so over.
[IMITATES CRYING]
Fine by me!
And, hey, just so you know, it's not that common...
...it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!
I knew it!
JUDY [ON TV]: Rachel's coming up. Doesn't she look pretty, Jack?
Oh, my God.
- This is us getting ready for the prom. - Oh!
You know what? We don't have to watch this.
CHANDLER: Yeah, we do. MONICA: Come on.
Fun.
JUDY [ON TV]: Get a shot of Monica.
JACK [ON TV]: Wait, how do you zoom out?
There she is.
Shut up. The camera adds 10 pounds.
Huh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
MONICA [ON TV]: Dad, turn it off.
JACK: It is off. RACHEL: Yeah.
JACK: Right, Ross?
[ROSS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Looking good, Mr. Kotter.
I can't go to my own prom without a date. I can't. It's too late.
If you're not going, then I don't wanna go either.
I have a wonderful idea.
You should take Rachel to the prom.
We've seen enough. Let's turn it off.
PHOEBE: I want to see. - Fine, I'm not going to watch, all right?
JACK [ON TV]: Come on, kid. Let's go.
JUDY: Are you handsome.
JACK: Let's show them.
- Okay, Dad. - Rachel, ready or not.
Here comes your knight in shining...
Oh, no.
MONICA: Bye. Don't wait up. RACHEL: Okay, Chip, let's go.
JUDY: Oh, dear.
Jack, how do I turn this off?
I can't believe you did that.
Yeah, well...
See? He's her lobster.
No.
- You're really not going? - Yeah.
It's just going to be too hard.
You know, I mean...
...it's Ross.
How can I watch him get married?
You know? It's just for the best, you know? It is.
Plus somebody's got to stay here with Phoebe.
She's going to be pretty big by then...
...and she'll need someone to help her tie her shoes.
Drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labor.
You don't have a car.
- And your license expired. - I know.
Yeah. See, there's so much to do, and I have so little time to do it in.
Check this out.
It says there's a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums.
"It's almost as good as being there."
It's better. You can't go to a museum in your underwear.
Well, you could, but probably just the one time.
I bet we could get videos of all the sights...
...get a VCR in our hotel room, we'd never even have to go outside.
If we do that, we've got to rent Die Hard.
Oh-ho, I bet the British version is good.
[English - US - SDH]